#i need a pepperidge in my life

[illiana-mystery]

More Pepperidge, Please.

[cassandralie]

Muriel, the Dimmest Little Morningstar

Maybe the question isn't "was Crowley Lucifer?" but who else was also Lucifer? After all, there was more than one Morningstar

or, as Crowley put it more casually,

he doesn't remember them, of course, probably due to Book of Life fuckery, just like he doesn't remember Fufur and Saraquel, who were also probably in the Morningstar Legion (that or the rebels called themselves Morningstars).

Which is why he also doesn't remember Muriel and Muriel also doesn't remember him. Both of them had their memories altered by the Book of Life*

*Sub Theory: the Book of Life erases who you were, makes it so you never existed... but you don't disappear or die. You become someone new. Hopefully this theory doesn't implode later--yeah, that's right, I made that sub joke instead of the other kind involving um...sandwiches.

But, just like Pepperidge Farms, the Metatron remembers.

he didn't say the "dumb" one, or the "stupid" one. Maybe to be polite. But "dim" isn't very polite either. It's just slightly less on the nose than the "not very bright one", aka the Dimmest Morningstar

But what happened to Muriel and their original memories? The same thing that was going to happen to Gabriel, obviously!

Muriel is basically a junior reporting angel. Sorry, scrivener. A no one and they know it.

Ranked so low they didn't know there was a rank under (which there probably wasn't until the Metatron wanted to punish Gabriel)

whatever Muriel did Before the Fall, whatever their name used to be, the Metatron didn't get rid of them because:

that's right, Neil Gaiman the Metatron will need Muriel for his evil plans, probably involving thee Second Coming and another apocalypse.

maybe to keep them out of the way, or maybe because they have power he's waiting for the right moment to unlock.

But he does make sure it's still locked.

Other people have explained that the book is about pieceing together fragments of the past* Maybe Muriel will remember who they are? Remember who Crowley is? Remember what really happened to cause the War in Heaven, the Fall, all that?

Maybe they will remember just in time to stop the Second Coming and the Second Armageddon--with help from our divorced dads, of course.

(*also a missing uncle - Crowley? A fellow Morningstar.

*also an estranged father with a belief in a higher power - Aziraphale? the Metatron?

*and also an exploded Grandmother - God? Muriel's previous identity?)

For further evidence, please note the star and crown on their helmet and recall "everything is meant" TM

This looks like a former Prince of Heaven, Morningstar Legion to me

And that is my theory :)

(if anyone said this first, sorry! All credit to you!)

Now, I'm no published author and barely anyone reads my fics (but the ones who do are Real Ones-- I love ya'll), so I have zero street cred here, and am probably so off the mark my dart hit the wall instead of the dart board, but I wanted to share my thoughts anyway and see what everyone thinks. Please let me know!

(Bonus Crack Theory: Muriel's original name was Lucy/Luci/Luciel. Combine with Fufur, that would make a Lucifer with bad demon spelling Lucyfur.)

[messier51]

In reference to your tags on the food that makes life worth living post - what are chicken squares???

They're kind of like chicken salad sandwiches but wrapped up and baked in crescent roll dough.

They are very delicious.

[image description: four baked chicken squares still on the pan. they aren't very square but the crescent roll dough is nicely browned and they're covered in browned stuffing bits]

At the risk of sounding like a food blogger, these are the food that I'd ask for when given a choice for my birthday. These are kind of an ultimate comfort food nostalgia thing for me. I use an altered version of my grandma's recipe (I measure with my heart, I am so sorry gramma but it turns out just fine this way, and no extra mushrooms) which is below vvvv. There IS a recipe online, on the Official Pillsbury Website (https://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/savory-crescent-chicken-squares/) from one of their contests. The name on the recipe is not my grandma, but the location is not far from where she lived. My grandma's recipe is better (obviously) but they're very similar and the version at the link is half the size if you want to try it but don't want to do math or something.

Part of the reason for making the full 8-sandwich version from my grandma's recipe is that it uses a full modern 8oz package of cream cheese (instead of the 3oz version that used to be common I guess?), and then you do not put the other half back in your fridge and forget about it until it gets moldy. If that's too much food, the chicken squares freeze really well! Just bake them for slightly shorter (I do it about 20 minutes) and then stick them in a freezer bag in the freezer until you want to eat them. They just need to be re-baked!

Chicken Squares Recipe (from aj's grandma)

Filling:

1 8oz package of softened cream cheese

1/2 stick butter (that's 1/4 cup) (recipe says "or margarine" lol) melted (you use the other half of it below)

4 cups cooked cubed chicken (this can be approximate. One rotisserie chicken or so. Leftover turkey works great! Canned chicken would probably be good too. My sister does hers with mushrooms for vegetarian reasons but I have no clue how to do that. You can adjust this though! It's super forgiving.)

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

4 Tbsp milk (that's 1/4 cup)

4 Tbsp lemon juice

3 Tbsp chopped chives or onion. (Or like, as much as you want. If you like onion, more onion is really good in this. I have used half a large onion, a whole bundle of green onions, whatever looks good. 3 Tbsp is not enough imo, but if you're not into onions, then maybe ignore me)

2 8oz cans of refrigerated crescent rolls.

Sauce:

1 can chicken broth

2 cans cream of mushroom and/or cream of chicken soup

1 pint cream, half and half, or milk

sauteed fresh or canned mushrooms

Topping:

Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Dressing (not the cubed kind) (you can use whatever breadcrumbs you have but the seasonings are really good! Sage, thyme, rosemary, poultry seasonings, whatever.)

The other half of your stick of butter

Instructions:

Cream the cream cheese (a stand mixer is helpful for this) and beat in 1/2 stick of melted butter. Beat until smooth.

Add chicken, onion, salt, pepper, milk, lemon juice. (Order doesn't really matter.) Mix well.

Separate 1 package of crescent dough into 4 rectangles. Firmly press perforations to seal 2 triangles together. Pat out dough to make thinner and larger (make it sorta square if you cant). (See alternate options below*)

Place about 1/2 cup filling into the center of each dough rectangle. Pull the 4 corners to the center. Twist slightly and pinch together, and pinch the sides that came together to seal. (It's totally ok if they're not perfect. They filling isn't gonna go anywhere.)

[4 unbaked chicken squares on a cookie sheet with a silicone baking mat. Three of them are sealed and kind of lumpy, the fourth is still laying out as a square-ish shape of dough with a scoop of filling in the middle. It's got a lot of green onions in it.]

Repeat with your second roll of rolls.

Melt other 1/2 stick of butter in a shallow bowl or pie plate and fill a 2nd shallow bowl with the stuffing/dressing/herbed seasoned bread crumbs.

Set out a cookie pan (I like to line them with parchment paper but it's fine if you don't, they won't stick).

Carefully lift one sandwich packet. Dip both sides(!) in butter and then in the stuffing. Place on the cookie sheet. (Sometimes I wear gloves for this step, your fingers WILL get gooey. You want the bread crumbs sticking out all over, it'll be delicious.)

Repeat for the rest of them.

[four unbaked chicken squares coated in butter and stuffing bread crumbs on a cookie sheet, ready to go into the oven]

Bake at 350°F for 20-25 minutes (or at 375 for about half an hour if you live on top of a mountain like me). They should be golden brown when they're done (see photos at top and bottom of the post).

You can partially bake and freeze or refrigerate for later!

Prepare sauce:

(I'm going to be honest I don't bother. Sometimes I make a can of cream of mushroom soup in the microwave and pour it on top. It's good! But it's way too much for just a me, and it doesn't freeze as well.)

Sauté mushrooms in about 1/4 cup of butter (sorry that's another half stick of butter, that wasn't in the list above)

Heat chicken broth and cans of soup.

Mix in mushrooms

Simmer until thick and bubbly. Reduce heat and add cream right before use. DO NOT boil after adding cream.

To serve, ladle mushroom sauce over each chicken square on plate.

[a baked chicken square in a shallow bowl swimming in cream of mushroom soup]

*Alternatives to trying to make squares out of crescent dough:

Supposedly it works with dinner roll dough too but I don't remember ever doing that.

Buy the sheets of crescent dough, which makes it a little less likely to split along the diagonal where you tried to smoosh them together.

Make little roll ups! Spoon filling onto large side of the crescent roll triangle and roll up just like you would if you were making it without filling (this is also really good with jam or nutella js). You can still dip them in the butter and dressing, they turn out great! You get a bigger bread to filling ratio, so you might need more rolls for the same amount of filling. Bake time is a little shorter though, keep an eye on them. They're cute though!

[three chicken roll ups(?) on a plate]

[baked chicken squares and roll ups on parchment paper-covered cookie sheets sitting on the stove]

So, go forth and eat chicken squares. I've got some in my freezer that I made after thanksgiving with my leftover turkey, I'm going to eat some on Monday for my birthday meal, as is traditional.

[movieexpert1978]

Therapy?

So this idea came up a while ago as I was talking with @illiana-mystery​   We definitely agreed that Chandler Manning needs therapy. We also thought that maybe some of Alfred’s other cop characters, like Gamache, would be good counsellors for him. So here is that idea as a little crack fic. There’s some swearing and movie/tv show barrier breaking too. Just a little funny thing. 

Chandler Manning, Armand Gamache, Ricardo Morales, and Randall Pepperidge are featured here. Enjoy! 

The three men gathered in the living room and waited for the fourth. He was told a different time to get there so the others could brace themselves. When he finally came in, he huffed in annoyance.

“What the fuck is this shit?!” Chandler Manning huffed as he stared at the other three.

“Manning, we just want to talk,” The leader said kindly. He was in a burgundy sweater with a matching tie just poking above the zipper.

“You think I’m dirty too Gamache?” Manning shot back as he sat down.

“We just want to help,” another said. This one was in all blue. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a light blue button-up shirt and a matching blue tie.

“Really Morales? I figured you’d understand given that you’re a homicide detective,” Manning argued.

“Even homicide detectives need therapy,” Detective Ricardo Morales said.

“Therapy? I don’t need no fucking therapy,” Manning snapped. The third man smirked way too loud making Manning glare at him. He was in a three-piece grey suit with a brown tie. Of course, Manning was in all black.

“You’re right Arman, he is stubborn,” the man said with a British accent.

“Oh whatever….Govenah!” Manning mocked with an accent of his own.

“I’m the best British Chief Inspector, Randall Pepperidge, thank you very much. Gamache and I have been friends for years and he’s a lot more compassionated than most,” Randall explained.

“Yeah, I got that. He’s a little too soft if you ask me,” Manning huffed.

“Hey, knock it off Manning. Like I said we’re just trying to help, unless you want to end up just like your wife in the psyche ward,” Morales countered.

“Hey at least I’m still married,” Manning protested.

“My divorce was peaceful and my daughter still likes me,” Morales spoke back calmly.

“My daughter likes me too! I saved her life from that Ripper fucker!” Manning snapped.

“Are you in therapy Morales?” Pepperidge asked.

“Of course I am. It comes with the job and I’m not ashamed of it,” Morales directed that last part to Manning. He just rolled his eyes.

“That’s what bitching at your partner is for,” Manning said with a pout and crossed his arms.

“Manning, you’ve got a lot going on. You can talk to us,” Gamache spoke gently.

“I deal with some pretty heavy stuff…yes,” Manning huffed. “At least I didn’t humiliate myself and learned from my mistakes,” Manning snapped at Pepperidge.

“What are you talking about?” Randall asked confused. Now it was Manning’s turn to snicker.

“I didn’t lose a bet and wear a giant pink tutu with a pink fluffy handbag,” Manning laughed. Pepperidge turned beat red as the other two tried to hold back their laughter.

“Well it was my own fault. I had to hold up to my end of things,” he mumbled quietly.

“Not to mention that you pulled it off very well. What fucking middle-aged man can pull off a god-damn tutu…” Manning laughed. Now Morales and Gamache burst out laughing.

“Nice sock suspenders by the way,” Morales giggled.

“I did hear that you caught the bouquet too,” Gamache added.

“Yes, I did. I thought it was lovely…and I happened to be engaged now too!” Pepperidge snapped.

“Well, congrats to you, you big ballerina,” Manning teased.

“Well, at least we caught our suspect! You only caught a crazy woman who stabbed her husband!” Pepperidge argued back.

“Hey take that back!” Manning snapped as he stood up. Now things were starting to heat up. “At least I got teased for a potential sequel.”

“So?”

“I’m not in the reboot stage.” Pepperidge flinched at that.

“Come on Manning, be nice,” Morales insisted.

“And what about you DA boy? Can you make up your fucking mind? Oh wait not even your show runners can with the back and forth episodes!” Manning laughed.

“Yeah well…” Morales tried to argue but all he did was pout.

“Ok Manning, you’ve made your point,” Gamache spoke.

“At least my story didn’t end on a cliffhanger!” The other two let out a dramatic gasp.

“Low blow Manning,” Morales muttered.

“There is a petition going around,” Gamache said calmly.

“Ha! When was the last time that worked?”

“Well, Lucifer was picked up by Netflix and…what was that other show…oh yes! Manifest!” Pepperidge spoke up.

“It was a rhetorical question tutu,” Manning growled.

“I’ve got a lot of books…” Gamache spoke weakly.

“Oh, who the fuck reads anymore!? You get all these fuckers destroying all these good books with all these shitty movie adaptations. Half the time no one knows there was a book in the first place!”

“Wow…you really are one mean son of a bitch,” Gamache sighed.

“Maybe you’ll get a movie or something. That seems to be the latest trend now,” Manning added.

“Feel better?”

“Actually…fuck yes I do!” Manning cheered. “Thanks guys, see yah later,” Manning practically skipped out the door.

“Asshole,” Morales growled.

“You should get your sorcerer buddy for that one,” Pepperidge said to Gamache.

“No! They would have gotten along!” Morales said with dread.

“Yeah, and he hardly gets along with anyone as it is,” Gamache sighed rubbing his eyes.

“I heard that!” Horvath yelled.

[verysmolnerd]

Smol’s Fanfic Masterlist

Holy moly I've been writing for four years in a row 

Hey! I've been a writer since 2020 and I'm heavily committed to the fandoms I'm in! If you want me to write about a character in HC's or a Drabble don't be afraid to ask! I’m more of an A03 Writer than I am on Tumblr; please keep that in mind. 

Professor Sycamore (Pokémon X & Y)

You're not from around here, are you?

Making summer camp memories 

Through the Firey flames of passion!

Stuck in the middle of chaos and rebirth (Poly with Lysandre)

The only tea shop in lumiose

I’d free up my schedule for you

Finding the missing piece in Alola

Speeding down the ski slopes (Poly with Lysandre)

Snowed in!

Running through a lucid dream

A couple of nerds on a roller coaster

Musician in the making

Experiencing the life of the city and forests

A couple on a empty campus

See you at the softball field!

How the mighty fall

Lie with me in a bed of daisies 

The finest dish in Kalos!

The Balance on Paiso

I’m not just your average mechanic

Fix your grammar 

Breaking the 4th wall!

I’m not much a bug person

A deity in human clothing

A well needed trip to the masseuse

Road Trip 

Harmonic Memories 

Holiday lab Parties

Lysandre (Pokémon X & Y)

Getting the lion’s attention

Speeding down the ski slopes (Poly with Professor Sycamore)  

Stuck in the middle of chaos and rebirth (Poly with Professor Sycamore)

Alfred Molina Characters

You’re rarer than the Medal of Honor Randall Pepperidge (Pink Panther 2) 

Playing Doctor Sir Jeremy Burtom (The imposters) 

Corpse of the Mine Reverend Leland Drury (White Fang 2: Myth of the White Wolf) 

Under the Algae Jim Bussey (The Water Man) 

Monster in the Lecture Hall Derek Knight (Monsters University)

Electrifying Love Hugh Weldon (Pete’s Meteor)

Costume Mishap Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

Dessert of a Lifetime Comte de Reynaud (Chocolat) 

Beyond Curfew Sgt. Steven Dunlop (The Little Traitor)  

Campus escapade Frank Burton (Abduction) 

Lap Space? Free Real Estate. Jim Bussey (The Water Man) 

Christmas. A Year later.  Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

Soft Spells and Sweatpants Maxim Horvath (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) 

Way Back When Snidely Whiplash (Dudley Do-Right) 

Mentally buried by Snow Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

I do love a working man Paul Weller (Breakable You)

Whiskey on The Rocks Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

The Villain I Appear to Be Snidely Whiplash (Dudley Do-Right)

Diving Too Deep Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

A Magical Masterpiece (Maybe a Catastrophe) Maxim Horvath (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice)

Painting the Past Diego Rivera (Frida) 

He’s Just a Guppy and I’m a Killer Whale Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

A Friend on The Other Side Derek Knight (Monsters University)(Sequel to Monster in The Lecture Hall) 

My Little Soldier Konstantin “Kostya” Dmitrievich Levin (Anna Karenina 1997)

Peering Through a Shattered Looking Glass King of Hearts (Alfred Molina Fancast)

Your Body is My Canvas Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

To Transform... To Lose Oneself.. Maxim Horvath (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) 

Drabbles on Tumblr

Professor Sycamore date hcs (Pokemon X & Y)

Lysandre date hcs (Pokemon X & Y)

Mayday’s Playdate  Otto Octavius, Peter Parker, and Mayday Parker (Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, NWH, and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) 

Double-shift Drowsiness Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH) 

Once Upon A Dream Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH) 

KoH HeadCannons King of Hearts (Alfred Molina Fancast)

You gave my heart a jumpstart (literally) Professor Sycamore (Pokémon X & Y)

Sick!Reader Drabble Professor Sycamore (Pokémon X & Y)

Courted by Aurthian Times! Maxim Horvath (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) 

Dating Pre accident!Otto (Spider-Man 2 & NWH) 

Maxim with a magical child (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) 

Meeting Otto in college (Spider-Man 2 & NWH) 

Meeting the Comte on holiday Comte de Reynaud (Chocolat) 

Being the Spouse of a Supervillain Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH) 

Boop reaction hc (variety) Otto Octavius, Maxim Horvath, Hugh Weldon,Snidely Whiplash, Kostya, Comte de Reynaud, and Armand Gamache

Vacationing with Otto (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

Dating Post NWH Otto (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

Yandere Maxim Horvath (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice)

Alien! Steven Arden (Species)

Doc Ock Visits a Doctor (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

What a drag..Queen. Robert Aldrich (Feud)

This is why we can’t have nice things Otto Octavius (Spider-Man 2 & NWH)

The mysterious medallion Ares (Wonder Woman 2009)

Tailor of the dark side Kylo Ren (Star Wars sequel trilogy)

[prismaticpichu]

What if Zack was the first person to notice and care that Sephiroth has a crazy strict diet and has never gone against it or had any junk food or fast food or anything Hojo didn't approve of?

Let’s be real here- Zack absolutely was the first person to notice this <3 <3 Sorry Gen & Angeal!! Not to demoralize them but I imagine those two caring about Seph, realizing he has limitations, and stopping there. They wanted to respect them. They had their curiosities, maybe a deadly impulse at Hojo after seeing a scar or two. But they were afraid of the electric fence.

Zack was NOT. He was getting in there, he was ramming into that fence, he was getting shocked, and he was going to keep climbing no matter how charred his skin got until he reached the other side. He was going to make him happy.

Zack discovers this horrifying soul blemish very early in their budding friendship, mainly because Zack was always snacking on something. Chips. Fries. Pepperidge farm cheddar goldfish crackers now with 15% more cheese. Zack finds the phrase “sharing is caring” religious, and he would inevitably offer one to his friend.

“Want one, Seph?”

“No,” the reply is automatic.

“You sure? Not even one?”

“Yes.”

“They’re tasty!”

“No.”

“You’ll love it! C’mon, buddy!”

“No thank you, Zackary.”

“It’s the snack that smiles back! It makes you happy!”

“I can’t.”

Beep beep, oooooowwwwwwhup. Alarm bells going off. It was all Zack needed to hear. Sephiroth proceeds to explain that Hojo, his caretaker (in the most air quotes sense) never let him enjoy foods that weren’t rich in nutrients. Okay, well-meaning enough. The concerning thing is that Sephiroth is 23yo and he’s still under Hojo’s snackless thumb. He doesn’t know what a potato chip tastes like, nor has he tasted ANY of the foods Zack lists. And it’s a very, very long list.

Zack’s immediate destination is the vending machine, to which he returns with a boat load of chocolate, chips, and the like. Sephiroth rejects all of it, naturally, but Zack is not a quitter. Esta no estupido either. He picks up a bag of chips and hands it out in offering, even as Sephiroth gives him that narrow-eyed, recoiling, lips-kinda-pulled-into-a-snarl face. Zack insists that he’s fit as a fiddle and that this, these chips, symbolize a step into independence. Hojo is controlling him and he won’t allow his friend to miss out on the small, amazing joys of life. He’s gonna fight this, and he knows Seph can too. The chips will set him free. The chips will be the key to his shackles, guiding him out of the prison cell with trails of salt to guide him, waiting for him to take his first crunch into the big world.

It’s a very empowering speech. Worthy of a standing ovation, maybe a trophy but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The important thing is that it worked, and Sephiroth is holding the chip bag. He takes one out and sniffs it first. It smells salty. And like corn. Zack is terribly amused by the way he’s analyzing the chip, especially how his eyes go all kitty-roundy. It’s so cute! (Zack smushes his cheeks.) Anywho, Zack watches with all the laser-focus of a deadly stakes football game, down to the last second of the last down of the last quarter of the last game of the playoffs.

Sephiroth takes a bite.

…Oh my.

Yes… yes this is very different…

Very salty indeed… very corny.

He thinks he like it.

What ensues for the oncoming months (after the firework show) is the role-reversing of someone weaning of a harmful drug, except it’s introducing Seph to different foods on the snack pyramid. Zack takes him to the bakery, getting a platter of cookies (Sephiroth loves the snickerdoodle), orders Wutain take out (Sephiroth loves the soy sauce), and starts adding pizza to their movie nights (Sephiroth loves the meatball). He still doesn’t eat unless prompted, and still resorts to lighter meals, fruits, veggies, and wet, engineered seaweed that Hojo used to feed him. He offers Zack this seaweed one day (sharing is caring, right?), dangling it out with his head kinda canted. Zack pretty much has no choice but to accept it. He doesn’t wanna hurt Seph’s feelings.

What the HECK, HOJO? (Zack cleans his tongue with a sponge when Seph’s gone.)

It takes time, as all assimilation does, but Sephiroth makes progress. He doesn’t hesitate any more when Zack pours some of his goldfish into his hand, and Zack smiling at him so proudly makes them taste even better. Even if he selects healthy options when they order in, he’s still agreeing to order in, and Zack’s always happy to share. They end up almost always with a 50/50 split of each other’s meals on their plates—which just like the goldfish, makes the food taste even better!

Seph also develops a big sweet tooth for vanilla pudding. It’s his go-to dessert when he thinks he’s earned it! He falls in love with anything vanilla and will devour it in a heartbeat. Zack’s favorite dessert on the planet is molten chocolate lava cake, and at the bakery, which Zack worships, it’s a tag-team effort! Zack takes down the cake and Seph handles the scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Mission accomplished!

Because Sephiroth is Sephiroth, his metabolism is at sonic speed (high-fives Jenova). He barely gains weight at all- a perfect scapegoat for his tainted diet. But one day Hojo runs a blood test and finds that his cholesterol level has increased ASTRONOMICALLY from the last time he took one. He is not a happy camper. He demands to know what sludge Sephiroth has been eating, and Sephiroth tells him the truth. Right front and center. Now he doesn’t say who has been “brainwashing” him because Gaia he doesn’t want Zack involved, but he does say, loud and proud, that he can eat whatever he wants.

Hojo calls him a disobedient rodent. And you know what Seph does? He stands up, walks over to his father, and slaps him right smack across the face. He couldn’t control his diet because he was a BIG boy. YEAH DAD.

[thehavenatwesson]

People Need People

I watched the St Mark’s sermon on Wednesday.  (Can’t seem to motivate myself on Sundays to go or even watch online.)  I feel a little guilty about that, mostly because I am not availing myself of a church community to which I could contribute and from which I would probably benefit.)  Like Amy Farrah Fowler in TBBT I can’t quite picture a supreme being who takes attendance.)  The sermon involved Nicodemus and Jesus’ telling him one must be born again.  Reverend Cooper talked about the need at times in life to start over.

I wrote recently about being over Mardi Gras.  I am actually feeling over a lot of things lately.  I am definitely not getting joy out of many things that I used to love.  This is one of the main symptoms of depression, a condition with which I have fought many rounds.  But I don’t feel depressed.  I don’t have difficulty getting up in the morning (well, no more than usual.)  And things do bring me joy.  I am currently in my backyard drinking coffee from a little cup that Z bought me at the Ren Fair and eating Pepperidge Farm raisin bread toast which reminds me of Mom.  I shoveled leaves off my sidewalk yesterday and felt a certain amount of satisfaction with the results.  (Of course, there is a lot more to do.  My yard is a mess.) I think I’m in need of a new beginning.  (Could this be a mid life crisis?  I certainly don’t want a new car and I am still deeply in love with my husband.)  

I have had a lot of new beginnings in my life, some good, some difficult, and many of which were incredibly unlike me (or at least the me I was at the time.)  I have said that I am the least qualified person to predict what is next for me.  As a young person I stated that I would never get married and never have kids.  Check and check.  I said, if I did have children, I would never have an only child.  Then we had Z and were quite satisfied for 6 years before changing our minds and having another.  I was an atheist, then I wasn’t.  I thought I would never work with children.  I would never move back to New Orleans, never raise children in New Orleans.  Here I am.  Sometimes I think I should declare that I will never win the lottery just to see.  (Of course, I have already won the lottery in so many ways.)

I won’t make a list of the things that I am over so as not to offend anyone.  Suffice it to say that events I used to greatly anticipate, plan for and savor, I can now take or leave.  Some of which I bow out of (with the amazing patience and acceptance of my husband.)  I am not done with any of the people in my life but I am certainly becoming more withdrawn, in a comfortable way.  I have always liked to be alone.  I am certainly not over that.  I have told David that I knew he was the one for me when I realized that I never had the need for him to go away.

The problem with needing a new beginning is figuring out what it is.  I definitely need something.  I actually had a crying jag a few weeks ago when I realized I don’t really have  a stake in any outside community and I kind of need that.  There have been so many places at which I have had a central role: Bailey Place, Supported Living Services, Rayne Sunday School.  Places I could walk into and make myself comfortable.  Places where people valued me, as individuals and as a community (until some of them just didn’t.)  I had essential roles which I helped define and make my own.  I have several different areas of employment now but none of them involve that component.  I think that is what is missing for me right now.  I do like to be alone but I also need to be among people.  I need to have a purpose, one that involves a community, no matter how small.  And now I need to get back to working on my yard.  It really is a mess.

[figkeele]

2023 in fics

So. This year was mentally and emotionally exhausting but I said, fuck that, and I've written the most fics ever. Here's a list, ranking my own fics.

super cool, I’m proud of these

So the first category is the fics that I’m extremely proud of and I think they did very well:

Start Again (and Again and Again): (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written for the small fandom bang, as per usual. I know I said it a million times, but first, this fic had only 4 readers, and considering how many months it took to write, I was a bit disheartened. Then SM2 was released, and the readership skyrocketed. I know, you should always write for yourself, but still it was heartwarming to see other people getting back to this ship. (Well, it lasted only for a few month, but you know I won't stop writing these two.)

But wait, there’s more…

the greatest hits

2. could I start again, somehow? (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written as a reaction to SM2

3. in the darkest little paradise (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, obligatory tentacle porn, written pre-release

4. I was the dark, you were the light (Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order Series) Bode/Cal, do you remember a time when I was writing something other than Spider-Man? Pepperidge farm remembers. When I finished the game, I thought I'd write a million fics for these two, I craved a fix-it so bad. (Also, NOSHIR DALAL did it again, and I fell in love with his character.) And then... I just drifted away, but I'm glad I managed to finish at least one piece!

5. so darkness I became (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release, a darker look at the symbiote dynamic. a kind of what-if Peter turned Venom

6. there will be no tenderness (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release, a take on that rooftop scene. Only if we knew what we'd get in the game, lol

7. sose gondoltam arra, hogy többet nem gondolok rád (never thought of not thinking about you ever again) (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written after SM2, because Symkarian = Hungarian, I needed a Symkarian-focused fluff fic

8. hotter than hell (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, PWP, Peter is pining, first foray into straight-up PWP

pretty decent

next category is the... fics that got some attention but nothing overwhelming. I don't declare them a flop because I KNOW I write niche shit.

9. bound to fall for you (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, PWP, set somewhere in the future, Peter confesses his feelings while drunk

10. Finally Yours (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release, my first take on a supportive Harry

11. In Another Life (Spider-Man Video Games & Spider-Man 2017 Cartoon) Miles/Peter & Miles/Peter, written pre-release, and it's a crossover, I just love these two variations, so...

12. I'm here at the end of infinity with you (a lot of Spider-Man media, too many to list) Miles/Peter, written pre-game release, I just love the idea of different variants being in love, and I ship them in most media, so naturally I had to write this.

13. I only see him as a friend (the biggest lie I ever said) (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release, the most fun I've ever had writing a fic, lol

14. say you'll stay with me tonight (Oxenfree) Riley/Jacob, I knew Oxenfree was never a popular fandom, but last time, Alex/Jonax shippers delivered, and there was some fandom activity. Now that the new game has been released with a new main cast, I hoped to get at least a few fics. I think there are only 3 fics all in all for Oxenfree II, and there is literally no other for this ship. 😭😭😭

15. telling all your lies like second nature (God of War) Atreus/Heimdall, I started this year being absolutely insane over Heimtreus lol

16. my name's still on your tongue (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release, considering it's a ficlet it did better than I expected

the absolute flop

look, I know you shouldn't be a harsh critic, and don't judge a fic by its stats. I still like to look at my underperforming stories. these are the ones that are either too short (drabbles, hey) or somehow they are just so niche, but still I expected a bit more engagement?

17. Pattern of Pain (God of War), Atreus/Heimdall, written for the Candy Heart exchange, I get it, it's too short, but I still love it tho

18. I'm here waiting for you (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written just right now for the holidays, I know everyone is on vacation, I'm still gonna plop this fic here. Btw, I just checked out my list from last year, and I had to laugh that the most underperforming story there is now my most kudosed, so there could be redemption arcs, I guess.

19. A Broken Happy Ever After (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, now this fic TANKED HARD. I get it, dark fairy tale is not everyone's cup of tea, but y'all you're missing out on Earth-423, just sayin'

20. Rainy Days (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release for a drabble party with the person who broke my heart, so I get nauseous looking at this fic, but I'm not gonna delete it.

21. I'm left here on my own (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release for a drabble party with the person who broke my heart, so I get nauseous looking at this fic, but I'm not gonna delete it.

22. loving so hard it left a scar (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release for a drabble party with the person who broke my heart, so I get nauseous looking at this fic, but I'm not gonna delete it.

23. you've brought me back to life (Spider-Man Video Games) Miles/Peter, written pre-release for a drabble party with the person who broke my heart, so I get nauseous looking at this fic, but I'm not gonna delete it.

[ritacaroline]

A New Series

By ritacaroline

Quips n Blips to Ponder

Episode 5

What will we be doing for the holidays ??

Thanksgiving has just passed. So how did we do ?

What food items were available at your Thanksgiving table ?

1. Turkey

2. Glazed Ham

3. Stuffing (please indicate what type)

a. Bread cube - (preferably from our friends at Pepperidge Farm. )

b. Corn bread stuffing

c. Sausage and bread stuffing.

d. Oyster Stuffing ( for the aphrodisiac lovers. )

e. None - instead, we like crescent rolls. ( that ones mine - no you ate 3 already. Mom ? Do you see him ?) Poppin fresh open a new tube Please.

4. Cranberry sauce

a. Fresh made from real cooked cranberries. ( wow, is your mom Martha Stewart ? Or Betty Crocker ? Circle just one )

b. Canned. Fresh outa the Oceanspray can. ( when it lands with a plop onto a plate - you see impressions of the can ridges all over the glob. ) The shiny glistening glob. That's the true sign of a fresh can of gelled sugar. Bon appetite.

5. Green bean casserole mush w mushroom soup glop. OMG. Gag me w a spoon. Pardon me please while I hurl.

6. Lasagna ? Yep. Some people do this. Not a bad idea.

7. Creamed onion pearls. Hmm. I don't think so. But ok.

8. Mashed sweet potatoes w marshmallows ? Diabetic kamikaze ? ( 10 points off for poor spelling )

9. Gravy. Yes. To be created by only experienced cooks please. This task is not for you if you're wishy washy about cooking. In that case you have little chance of success. And you will be off to Thanksgiving jail. Yes - it exists. Yes - it's awful. Imagine hordes of people wandering about aimlessly in the style of night of the living dead. Holding metal stirring whisks in the air while looking zombie ish in a tie back apron and chefs hat.

(So - get out the hand held submersion blender or die. ) If you don't know what that item is - give up now.

Or just buy a few cans of gravy. Voila. Magic.

10 Pumpkin pie. No comment.

How did you feel after eating said meal ??

1. Ok. Not bad.

2. Little tummy trouble. But I'll live.

3. Problems best portrayed by video of Mt Vesuvius erupting. :

4: I spent the day after thanksgiving praising the porcelain God. On my knees.

10. And how do you plan on celebrating Thanksgiving next year ?

a. Run for my life

b. Eat at the diner.

c. Make pb&js. And call it a day.

d. Bribe Martha Stewart to

provide a home visit.

e. I will be on a food fast that day.

For religious reasons.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

Be sure to have the lemon lime flavored alka seltzer available in your cabinet. For the morning after you have over done it with the booze. That fizzy shit will be your best buddy.

Did you get all the toys you need ? If not - expect crying and tantrums. From you. For being negligent.

Did you put that crap together ? Assemble the toys that need that ?

Batteries ?

Yes

No.

I'm a dumbass. Expect crying and tantrums.

Do not walk about while barefoot. If you have purchased Legos. For the young ones. You will be damn sorry if you step on a few. It's very confusing why this form of weaponry has not been deployed in times of war. Way less costly than missiles and air to ground combat.

Do not steal this idea under severe penalty of the law ! Do you promise ?

During times of international conflict and war, simply hide the enemy's shoes. Secretly. Then shhh. Sprinkle lego pieces all over the grounds outside their tents and/ or quarters. Then watch them emerge and slowly but surely - they will be rendered unable to walk due to the steppage onto-age of afore mentioned Legos. That's a military term. Thus rendered unable to defend their territory in a painful surrender. And a sad day shall be bestoweth upon them. ( ? ) official quote from the victors, " It was the Legos amongst them that led us to Victory. "

Back to our normal programming :

What will we have for breakfast on Christmas ?

The family will be expecting a special breakfast. Have you thought about this ? No ? You must. Cereal or toast will not cut it.

How about an egg breakfast casserole ?

Cinnamon rolls ?

French toast. Without something like this - you're fucked. I mean it.

If worse comes to worst , swing by the Golden Arches for a few packs of the McSanta Delight. Mmmm. Yummy mush.

Now that the presents are opened and a lot of folks are seriously disappointed, ? Now wtf ? Instruct those spoiled brats to go play w the toys and stop fighting. And shut the hell up.

Grab you some eggnog. Spike that bad boy w some vodka or tanguray gin. Now that's a Merry Christmas. Do not over do. Or drive. Just hang out. And to all a good night. Ho ho ho.

[jinxxsims]

*Deep Breath*

Okay, so I started work on this download back when it was 100, but life got busy and when I was able to resume working on it, there were 150. Life got busy again before I was finished, and now there are 250 of you amazing people... but I’m actually getting this thing out there, so yay for that.

There are 61 meshes in this download, and hundreds of recolors. A quick rundown of what’s included:

Some of @aroundthesims 4t2 tattoo parlor set. The chair is cloned from pikkon’s tattoo chair, so it’s a double for the makeover chair. The single rolling drawer is an end table that is slaved to the double sideboard, so you need the double for the single to show up. 

High School Years’ Starry Eyed prom/dance set, which contains the balloon arch (sculpture), backdrop (sculpture), dining table, dining chair, and banquet table, cloned from a very similar table by @veranka-downloads

And finally, I converted at least one thing from every expansion pack and game pack from Sims 4 currently released that hadn’t been converted before, plus a few deco things from Sandy @ ATS that I really wanted in my game.

From top left to bottom right...

Girl Scout cookies (ATS, sculpture) • Pepperidge Farm cookies (ATS, sculpture) • Royal Dansk cookie tin (ATS, sculpture) • Teddy Grams (ATS, sculpture) • Arrrmed Dining Chair (Base Game) • Captain Rodrigo Dining Chair (Base Game) • Salyut Aeronaut Chair (Base Game) • Booping Shnoops (Cats & Dogs, sculpture) • Crate End Table (Cats & Dogs) • Town Statue 4 (Cats & Dogs Debug) • Town Statue 5 (Cats & Dogs Debug) • Fuzzread Article (City Living) • M.A.P. Most Amazing Player (City Living) • Chicken Competition Prize Ribbon (Cottage Living Debug, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and participation ribbon recolors included) • Food Platter (Dine Out Debug) • Party’s Over Chair (Discover University) • Polymer Chameleon Barstool (Discover University) • Very Impressive Lawyery Desk Chair (Discovery University) • Very Impressive Lawyery Desk (Discover University) • Fabric Sampe Book (Dream Home Decorator Debug) • Bougie Burlap Sofa (Eco Lifestyle) • Biochemical Medical (sculpture, Get Famous) • The Queen’s Gossip Chair (Get Famous) • Seat of the House barstool (Get Together) • Doctor of Medicine Diploma & My First Simolean (Get to Work) • Ever-So-Versatile Chillbox End Table (Get to Work) • Modern Metallic Illuminated Display Case (not illuminated, but functional table, Get to Work) • Stainless Steel Fab Slab (Get to Work) • Bubbly Barstool (High School Years) • Cheer Megaphone (sculpture, High School Years) • Clear as Crystal Coffee Table (High School Years) • High School Event Banner (High School Years) • Modest Marcel Dining Chair (High School Years) • Call Me Ottoman (functional living chair, Island Living) • Bug Bite Cure (Journey to Batuu) • Supply Crate (functional end table, Journey to Batuu) • Stool de Selvadorada (Jungle Adventures) • Fenwick the V Banquet Table (3-tiled table, My Wedding Stories) • Not Your Average Firewood Loveseat (Outdoor Retreat) • Timber Log Chair (Outdoor Retreat) • Brohill Barstool (Parenthood) • Magical Crystal Cluster 2, 3, and 4 (Realm of Magic Debug) • Violets are Blue Flower Arranging Station (functional table, Seasons) • Spirit Doll (Snowy Escape) • Pillow for Deep Thoughts (was a throw pillow, but I turned it into a functional bean bag chair, Spa Day) • The Sign Saw You (Strangerville Debug) • You Saw the Sign (Strangerville Debug) • Dead Hawthorn Tree (sculpture, Vampires) • Fenry Chompsalot Jr. (sculpture, Werewolves)

When it comes to the downloads, there are two options for you to choose from. One offers each of the meshes in a separate folder with its recolors and the textures for each so you can pick and choose what you want to keep. The second zip is all the recolors merged with their respective meshes, so there are 61 total files. You only need to download one.

I hope everyone finds at least a few things they can use. Enjoy! And thank you for following! 

Download Individual Files

Download Merged Files

[doctor-octiddius]

The Pink Panther 2 behind the scenes gifs because I need more Randall Pepperidge in my life (Part 2 of 2)

+ best part of the gag reel:

[overlookedfile]

MasterList - Alfred Molina

My Fiction - Alfred Molina Characters

Author’s Note: Life sucks. I’m sorry that I don’t know when anything is going to update. :-/

Updated: 2024.06.24

This is to help keep a list for me of what I’m working on, need to work on, what I’ve done, etc. A sort of accountability chart, if you will.

For brevity’s sake, I’ve moved everything under a cut.

Listed Alphabetically by Fandom (”The” ignored in titles that start with)

~ ~ ~

Chocolat - Comte de Reynaud

Temper Us in Fire - WiP - Chapters 7 of 8 (Updates on SUNDAYs) - Latest 2024.03.10

~ ~ ~

Da Vinci Code, The - Bishop Manuel Aringarosa

Sins of the Father - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Dudley Do-Right - Snidely Whiplash

The Bad Guy - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Frida - Diego Rivera

Artistry - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

How to Train Your Dragon - Viggo Grimborn

By Definition, A Bounty - WiP - Chapter 23 of ? - Latest 2024.06.24

Gamesmanship - Complete - Posted 2022.04.15

~ ~ ~

Identity - Dr. Malick

Roadhead - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Imposters, The - Sir Jeremy Burtom

Days of Yore - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Indiana Jones series - Satipo

“Para Mi” Series (Posted Order)

Legendary Reputations - Complete - Posted 2022.07.21

Writing a New History - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Law & Order - Gabriel Duvall

Calibrations - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Law & Order: LA - Ricardo Morales

“12 Hours” Series (Chronological Order)

Motive  - Complete - Posted 2022.05.13

Means - Complete - Posted 2022.05.14

Opportunity - Complete 2022.05.24

Suspicions - Complete - Posted 2022.05.10

Intrigues - Complete - Posted 2022.05.12

Consensus - Complete - Chapters: 1 , 2 , 3  - Completed 2022.05.27

Precedent - Complete - Posted 2022.05.29

Corruption - Complete - Posted 2022.06.10

Crime & Court - WiP - Chapters 2 of ? - Updated 2022.07.04

Overruled - WiP (not posted)

Accomplices - WiP (not posted) 

~ ~ ~

Love is Strange - George Garea

Arts & Sciences - WiP (not posted) - expansion on this drabble

~ ~ ~

Man Who Knew Too Little, The - Boris Blavasky

Retirement - WiP - Chapters: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 - Updated 2022.05.07

~ ~ ~

Maverick - Angel

"When the Cards are Down" Series (Chronological Order)

A Good Run of Bad Luck (Omega!Angel au) - Chapters 8 of ? (Updates on THURSDAYs) - Updated 2022.08.18

Desperado -WiP (not posted)

Untitled (Modern AU) - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Monday Mornings - Harding Hooten

Trust Fall (Alpha!Harding au) - WiP (not posted)

Donor Compatibility - WiP (not posted)

Untitled (Vampire AU) - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Moon and the Stars, The - Davide Riete

Miraculous Mistakes - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Nervous Energy - Ira Moss

Kiss Me Again - Complete - Posted 2022.05.03

~ ~ ~

Nothing Like the Holidays - Edy Rodriguez

Not a Moment Too Soon - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Pete’s Meteor - Hugh Wheldon

Bound and Determined - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero - Rippen

Part-Time Lessons - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Pink Panther 2 - Randall Pepperidge

Dickmatized - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Prince of Persia - Sheik Amar

The "D" in "Desert" series (chronological order)

Distraction - Complete - Posted 2022.10.23

Determination

Disinhibition

~ ~ ~

Scorpion Spring - Denis Brabant

The Green & The Pink - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Show Me a Hero - Hank Spallone

The Best of a Bad Situation - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Sorcerer’s Apprentice, The - Maxim Horvath

Unexpected Inspiration - Complete - Chapters 1 , 2 - Completed 2022.05.11

“Arcane Opus” series - (Chronological Order)

Artificier’s Lullaby - WiP (not posted)

Apprentices’ Chorus - WiP (not posted)

Mirror’s Verse (prologue) - Complete - Posted 2022.08.05

Sorcerer’s Nursery Rhyme - WiP (not posted)

Child’s Coda - WiP (not posted)

Soundtracks - WiP (not posted)

Follow the Leader - WiP (not posted) - expansion on this drabble

~ ~ ~

Species - Dr. Stephen Arden

CrossCultural Studies - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Spider-Man - Dr. Otto Octavius / Doc Ock

Stolen Paradise - WiP - Chapters 4 of ? - Updated 2022.07.08

LoveCraft (mer!Otto au) - WiP - Chapters 1 - ? - Updated 2022.06.11

Kintsugi - WiP (not posted)

Natural Triptych (Mutation AU & College AU) - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Three Pines - Armand Gamache

The Path to Perfect (Isn’t a Straight Line) - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Undertaking Betty - Boris Plots

The Cold that Bites - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

When Pigs Fly - Marty

Collared - WiP (not posted)

~ ~ ~

Multi-Character Collections -

Croissants - WiP (not posted) - Inspired by this post

Inhuman Relations - WiP (not posted) - inspired by past kinktober prompts

Counterparts - WiP (not posted) - expansion on this drabble

Tumblr Prompts / Requests

AO3 / Tumblr - AO3 Chapter 1 is a Master List with details. Tumblr is a list linking to original Tumblr post for each prompt. 

[legobiwan]

What do you think of an au where Dooku takes Obi-Wan on as a Padawan after the Melida-Daan fiasco? Would Dooku be super protective? Would Obi-Wan be intensely loyal and hero-worshipping? Maybe Obi-Wan doesn't turn out as traumatized, but instead becomes the razor-tongued Negotiator early on...

I think that regardless the circumstances, Dooku would always be super-protective over Obi-wan, even if he never showed it outright, except in extreme situations (remember that bounty hunter that was going to kill Qui-gon in Master & Apprentice? Pepperidge Farm remembers). But yeah, considering the circumstances of Melida-Daan, that instinct would likely be ratcheted up, like, 1000 points. (And oh boi would he be pissed at Qui-gon).

And you know, you would think that Obi-wan would be all intensely loyal and whatever, but to my mind, here's a teenager in a situation where he feels deeply betrayed and abandoned by the closest thing he has to a parent. Considering what we know about Obi-wan, how he has always kept his emotional cards very close to the chest (to the tunic, I suppose), I would say he would be incredibly wary of Dooku at this juncture, just expecting him to pull a Qui-gon with a fancier accent and better clothing. Meaning they would butt heads like crazy to begin with (almost like Obi-wan and Anakin, in a way, even if their motivations are very different).

I mean, Obi-wan was always going to be the, as you put it, "razor-tongued Negotiator," but let's just say that he would level up considerably under Dooku's tutelage and by that I mean he would be even more of a menace than he already is in canon, which is saying a lot.

Now, the other interesting thing to consider in this whole situation is where Dooku is in terms of his own fall and relationship with the Force/the Jedi/etc. Because the whole Melida/Daan fiasco takes place in 44 BBY (according to Legends) which is the same year the Battle of Galidraan (which, according to Legends, was one of the factors that ultimately pushed Dooku from the Order).

And this means we are dealing with an unstable teenager and an unstable man in his late 50s with a tremendous amount of not only metaphysical power, but political power. (Not that Qui-gon was exactly the paragon of stability here, far from it). But what I wonder, in this situation, is how they would feed into each other's worst (or best, maybe) tendencies, as - I've noted before - they are very similar personalities.

So in conclusion, they have the potential to be a dumpster fire of destruction or something that could elevate past the iteration of the Jedi Order at the time and into something else entirely. (I have a fic that's been on the backburner forever that explores this idea, actually. I need more free time in my life).

[rpmemestorehouse]

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I-”

“Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.”

“Oh stop it, you.”

“Aww yiss.”

“France is bacon.”

“That’s cute.”

“Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.”

“Has science gone too far?”

“...said no-one ever.”

“We need to go deeper.”

“Do you think this is a motherfucking game?”

“NOPE.”

“Oh baby, a triple!”

“Brushie brushie brushie~”

“Spooky scary skeletons!”

“FUCK YEA.”

“You could stop at five or six stores, or, just ONE.”

“You hear about video games?”

“Release the kraken!”

“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

“ ‘It will be FUN’, they said!”

“You’ve been GNOMED!”

“Deal with it.”

“And not a single fuck was given that day.”

“It’s a double rainbow!”

“The rent is too damn high!”

“You jelly?”

“Challenge accepted.”

“Come at me bro!”

“Pootis!”

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Are you a wizard?”

“Bitch please!”

“I know that feel bro.”

“Shut up and take my money!”

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“NO.”

“I hope you step on a LEGO.”

“That really rustled my jimmies.”

“And then a skeleton popped out!”

“I’ve seen some shit.”

“gEnIuS!”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“This isn’t even my final form!”

“You had one job.”

“Kill me.”

“Majestic as FUCK.”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about [insert]?”

“I swear on me mum...”

“You have no power here!”

“REKT!”

“What a time to be alive.”

“If I pull that off, will you die?”

“It will be extremely painful...for you.”

“FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!”

“Hide the pain Harold.”

“Local man ruins everything.”

“Mom, get the camera!”

“I cri evrytiem.”

“The struggle is real.”

“I am the one who knocks!”

“Perfection.”

“This is the darkest timeline.”

“I’m about to end this man’s whole career.”

“I regret nothing!!!”

“I lied.”

“I’ve seen enough [insert] to know where THIS is going.”

“Oh god why-”

“Everyday I’m shufflin’-”

“You wot mate?”

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...”

“Man door hand hook car door-”

“Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already, Mom's spaghetti-”

“Oppa Gangnam style!”

“When [place] is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

“I only cried for 20 minutes.”

“Pepperidge Farm remembers.”

“Go home, [Name], you’re drunk.”

“Fuck me, right?”

“I should buy a boat.”

“2deep4you”

“Apply cold water to that burn.”

“420 blaze it!”

“That’s a nice new [insert]. It would be a shame if something happened to it...”

“I too, like to live dangerously.”

“You know nothing, [Name].”

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“Does this look like the face of mercy?”

“It was me, [OWN NAME]!”

“Stop trying to make [insert] happen! It’s not going to happen!”

“You merely adopted the darkness.”

“See? Nobody cares.”

“I will find you, and I will kill you.”

“I understood that reference!”

“Listen here, you little shit-”

“It’s an older meme, sir, but it checks out.”

“Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.”

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

“Ow, the edge!”

“*teleports behind you* Nothing personal, kid.”

“Pee is stored in the balls.”

“We have food at home.”

“You must be new here.”

“Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.”

“ERMAHGERD BERKS-”

“That’s the evilest thing I can imagine!”

“Dammit Moon Moon!”

“When u mom com home and make hte spagheti-“

“When will you learn? When will you learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”

“helo would u like some of this hot choclety milk?”

“Be strong, [Name]. Be strong for Mother.”

“Ayy LMAO.”

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

“Heard you were talking shit!”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“Look at me. I’m the captain now.”

“This could be us, but you playing.”

“They played us like a damn fiddle!”

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“I’m in me mum’s car, broom broom!”

“Hand me the aux cord.”

“Press F to pay respects.”

“Trust nobody, not even yourself.”

“Anime was a mistake.”

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

“Are ya winning, son?”

“Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.”

“I lived bitch!”

“You just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.”

“*chuckles* I’m in danger.”

“That wasn’t very cash money of you.”

“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“DEEZ NUTS-”

“Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.”

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm oh my GOD, stop fuckin’ lyin’~”

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“I’m at soup!”

“IT’S TIME TO STOP!”

“Congratulations, you played yourself.”

“I’m you, but stronger.”

“This is fine.”

“Hello darkness my old friend~”

“Sosig.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne!”

“I have crippling depression!”

“WE ARE NUMBER ONE!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.”

“Take a fucking sip, babes.”

“Brother, may I have some oats?”

“God I wish that were me.”

“Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”

“Oh, worm?”

“Hewwo!”

“Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

“Am I a joke to you?”

“Let me in. LET ME IIIIIINNNNN!!!!!”

“You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

“Why is the FBI here?”

“Oh no baby what is you doin’???”

“Hey man, you see that guy over there?”

“Buenos días, [Name]!”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

“Then perish.”

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!”

“My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.”

“Weird flex, but okay.”

“I’m baby.”

“STONKS!”

“OK, boomer.”

“Yep, this one’s going in my cringe compilation.”

“This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“They did surgery on a grape.”

“It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

“Look how they massacred my boy!”

“Bro! You just posted cringe! You are going to lose subscriber.”

“Wait, that’s illegal.”

“Bro, I’m straight-up not having a good time.”

“Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe?”

“I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”

“Say sike right now.”

[the-badger-mole]

Hero to Zero

Sit down, kids. I want to have a rap sesh with y’all. 

There is no such thing as a perfect show. Even if you think there was a perfect show, it’s rare it holds up to multiple viewings. Still, Avatar: The Last Airbender probably got as close to perfect as any children’s show could hope to. All this to say that ATLA is a good show. A great show, even. But it is not a perfect show.  and they missed some pretty big opportunities.

Specifically where Aang was concerned. 

So, here are the Top 3 Opportunities ATLA Missed with Aang:

1. Having Aang actually work for his victory.

If you’ve followed me for literally any length of time, you know that I hate,hate, HATE the LionTurtle/Rock of Destiny Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ ©  ®) in the last episode. Now, I know some of you think that I- and others like me- just wanted to see Aang kill Ozai. To you I say...

Look, some of my favorite superheros have a no kill policy. I have no problem with the idea of Aang capturing Ozai and having Ozai stand trial. What I have a problem with is the fact that Aang didn’t have to work at finding that solution at all. There were plenty of chances to set up the finale in a way that wouldn’t have made it a complete and utter cop out. It wouldn’t have even taken that much. Aang was confronted by the terrible realities of war all throughout the series. He knew everyone expected him to end the war. He was involved in the deaths a lot of Fire Nation soldiers at the battle in the Northern Water Tribe. At any point, there was room to have Aang face what was expected of him as Avatar and consider what it meant for him as the last Air Nomad. 

What I- and others like me- wanted was not for Aang to become a compunctionless killing machine. What I wanted was to see Aang realizing his duty and working to find a solution that would end the war and keep his values in tact. Instead, he waits until the last minute to consider what how he would end the war, snapped at his friends for pushing the obvious, and (until the magic Lion Turtle arrives) best solution to the problem that the world’s been facing for 100 years, and is rewarded for (let me be frank) his absolute laziness and refusal to accept responsibility.

Aang’s whole arc was supposed to show that he had to stop running away from his problems and accept his role as Avatar. The thing is...he didn’t. He had one moment where it looked like he was ready to stop running and do his job (DoBS), but that moment is robbed of any power by the finale. Why didn’t Aang have this moment then? Why wasn’t the rest of the series spent with Aang putting in work towards finding a solution? As the story stands, Aang looks inexcusably stupid, even for a 12 year old who didn’t grow up with a war. Not having Aang actively working towards a solution, freaking out over the solution presented, and then stumbling on the one being in the whole world that could help him undermines his entire journey. Aang was not the Real Hero of the series. Plot convenience was. 

2. Having Aang learn more about how the war affected his friends personally.

This kind of ties in to my first point, but Aang never really had a moment where he realized exactly what was at stake. Not just for the world in general, but for his friends. Heck, he never really reckoned with what happened to his own people (but we had time for a nonsense Footloose pastiche???). Had Aang made any effort to understand the war from his friends’ perspectives- particularly Katara, with whom he was allegedly in love- it might have occurred to him sooner what they expected of him. 

There’s no real moment of Aang understanding how much Sokka and Katara and even Toph have lost because of the war. He meets war refugees and is there when Katara rescues the earthbenders from the Fire Nation prison ship, but it never sinks in how much damage any of these people have survived. I don’t think I’m asking for that much here. I understand ATLA is a children’s show, but look how they were able to show us the devastation of war and abuse through literally every member of the Gaang except Aang. Even finding out that his mentor had been murdered washed over Aang like a summer squall.

It’s great that he had the perspective of someone who got to live in a world without war, and that he got to be a kid a bit longer than his friends, but at some point it would have been nice to see something stick to him. There were moments where I thought Aang was finally starting to understand the enormity of what the war had done and what it would take to end it (like in DoBS), but then the very next episode would have him goofing off (remember when Aang wanted to take off and play the day after a bunch of people- including the father of two of his “best friends”- sacrificed their lives and freedom for him? Pepperidge Farm remembers.) Nothing seemed to stick to him, which is why his refusal to kill Ozai and lack of preparation with another solution is both infuriating to me and honestly not that surprising at all. Aang is the most static character in ATLA (a show that included Mai, cardboard puppet brought to life by dark magic). He learns nothing. And honestly the fact that he stays the same from the beginning to the end of the series makes him look incredibly unempathetic. Who remains so unmoved by the tragedies of his friends?

3.Having Aang not get Katara and having the hero of a popular TV series handle unrequited love in a mature and realistic way.

Even less secret than my hatred of the Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ © ®) are my feelings about Kataang. ( Shut up! You knew this was coming. Don’t act brand new). Now, normally, my focus is how bad Kataang was for Katara (the canon did my girl dirty, and I will NEVER forgive or forget), however this time, I want to focus on what the show lost by forcing this pair (Kataang was only developed if you only care about Aang’s feelings. Fight amongst yourselves. My mind is made up on this point).

Avatar: the Last Airbender was amazing in a lot of ways- groundbreaking, even- but it also perpetuates the idiotic myth of the Friend Zone, and those lucky fellas who break out of it. Throughout the whole series, we see that Aang is super into Katara, but the show also drives home pretty clearly that the feeling is not mutual up until that last scene (which makes it clear that the show runners didn’t give a crap about Katara). The showrunners had a golden opportunity here to show a young boy graciously accept that his crush isn’t into him, and remain good friends with her despite the fact that romance is off the table. Instead they chose to push the message that a guy can, through persistence, intimidation (lava fissure anyone?), and a healthy dose of arrogant entitlement, win the girl in the end. It’s not even that this was a terrible relationship for Katara and Aang; it’s that it’s such a boring and typical conclusion for this show to end on. Following through on Aang needing to let go of his unhealthy attachment to Katara would have been a much more powerful move. 

That’s not to say he had to stop being her friend. In fact, I think had he actually let Katara off of that pedestal he’d set her up on, they could have formed deeper bond based on mutual understanding and respect. Instead, we got “Hero Gets the Girl, Because...Hero?” Instead we got a pair that upholds the dangerous Fiend Zone myth, which arrested Aang’s development, turned Katara into a hollowed out trophy wife and produced three maladjusted adult children. It would have been a fascinating direction to take the story...if it had been done on purpose. 

Anyway, kiddos. I’m done here. If I pissed you off, call my lawyers. You can rebut me if you’d like (I’ll be honest,I probably won’t read it if it’s too long), but if you’re rude in my comments, I will delete and block you. Smooches!

[alitaimagines]

“I can’t wait to fall in love with you, you can’t wait to fall in love with me, this just can’t be summer love, you see.”

character: levi ackerman - ATTACK ON TITAN

note: this is my CEO au! I’ve been meaning to write this for so long but i’m barely getting around to it. there could be multiple parts to this. 

you were sitting down at one of the common room lunch tables with Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, and Armin. the company all of you worked at tended to break all of you at the same time so it wasn’t unusual to see the six of you together for lunch or small breaks. 

“are we still going out tonight?” Sasha asked with a mouthful of baked potato, “more than likely,” Mikasa said with a monotone voice, “I’m not going to be in charge of any of you like last time,” she added. 

you knew she was hinting at you with that comment. you tended to go a little overboard with the drinking at times and she, on more than occasion, had to carry or take you back home. Eren, Reiner, and yourself were the ones who usually went all out. 

“aww, come on,” you mocked as she gave you the finger, “I need the small break! I’ll make you breakfast in the morning!” you offered as Sasha immediately perked up, “I’ll take care of ya, ( your name ),” you couldn’t help but laugh, “yeah and if I leave you to take care of me, it’s going to be Connie taking care of us,” you interjected. 

Sasha knew you held a point. you took a sip of your soda before releasing an unintentional burp, “wow, good one!” you heard one of your superiors say. 

Armin stared down at the table realizing your three bosses were right behind you. you didn’t even want to look back at them knowing what you did was extremely inappropriate. 

“hello Mr.Ackerman,” you whispered as you tried to hide the embarrassed feeling you had, “my break is done in five minutes so I’ll be over to my desk in a matter of minutes,” you explained. 

you heard Hanji laughing making you even more nervous, “aw Levi! you have your assistant terrified of you! that’s no way to have them,” Hanji remarked as you felt yourself wanting crawl in a hole and die. 

“you went through six assistants before Moblit,” Levi threatened as Hanji remained quiet, “exactly, watch it,” you pulled your things together before looking over to Mikasa, “remember I need to stop at my house for my night bag before heading over to yours. you already know how I am after I drink,” you whispered as she nodded. 

you grabbed the files you were supposed to work on and followed your boss to his one o’clock meeting. your mind was still stuck on the action you had did in front of Levi and felt yourself get embarrassed all over again. 

“going out tonight, ( your name )?” Hanji asked a bit loudly, “uh, yeah. a few of us gather at the bar a few blocks down from here every Friday after work,” you explained trying not to out anyone as unprofessional.  

she nodded, “how fun! how come you never invited any of us?” she asked as you felt your face heat up instantly, “uh, I, we, never thought our bosses would be interested in going out with a bunch of low rank employees,” you managed to say through your flustered state. 

“Hanji, enough,” Levi stated as she rolled her eyes, “I think we both know someone who could use a night out,” she suggested as she pointed to Levi, “but seriously! at least invite me out sometime!” she added. 

you nodded as you thankfully made it back to Levi’s office with Hanji now finally stopping her hundred question game. 

Levi unlocked the door as the both of you walked in. you knew Levi tended to have the last of his meetings towards the later part of the afternoon but for some reason, he had one scheduled right after your lunch hour and wanted you present for it. 

“would you like me to take notes for the meeting, Mr.Ackerman?” you asked him as you shuffled through a few pieces of paper, “clearly,” he muttered as you nodded. 

for the first few months of your time with the company, you had always gotten a bit upset at the way Levi talked to you but as you continued throughout the years here, you learned to live with the fact that Levi literally talked to everyone that way. 

“of course,” before you could say anything else, you heard a knock on the door. you expected it to be Levi’s client but it wasn’t, “Reiner!” you exclaimed a bit happier, “is there something you need?” you asked as you welcomed him in. 

he gave you a smirk before entering the office, “mind giving this to your boss, sweetie?” you nodded as he handed you the papers, “what are they for?” you asked as he shrugged, “Mr.Smith just told me to give them to him. anyway, you goin’ out tonight?” he asked. 

“with Eren and the rest of them? yeah, we’re meeting at Benny’s at like seven,” you explained, “then I’ll see you there, babygirl,” you rolled your eyes at the nickname, “yeah, you’re only excited that I’ll be there because Krista isn’t,” Reiner remained quiet, “exactly, goodbye Reiner.” 

you went back to Levi to hand him the papers, “Mr.Ackerman, Reiner dropped these off on the behalf of Mr.Smith,” you whispered as he basically snatched the file from your hand, “thanks,” he muttered without giving you a second look. 

your face went to confusion as you tried to figure out why he was more upset than usual, “is there something wrong?” you asked genuinely. Levi, for the first time looked up at you, “I don’t appreciate such PDA in my office, ( last name ),” you started laughing at his comment making him even more angry. 

“that wasn’t PDA, sir,” you tried to say, “Reiner is that way with all the girls in the building. if that was PDA liked you claimed it was, I wouldn’t have rolled my eyes as hard as I did,” you added. 

a sense of relief went over Levi, one that he had never felt before, “plus, I would never give Reiner the time of day. I like my men older, with a lot of life experience,” you said honestly. 

“great to know ( last name ),” he replied as you gave him a smile, “better to be honest than to be a liar. plus, I believe Braun has eyes on Ms.Rals assistant,” you inquired. 

Levi’s eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “correct me if I’m wrong ( last name ), is Reiss not involved with Fritz?” you nodded as he became more confused, “Reiner doesn’t know how to handle a no. I’m surprised, however, that you would know of such a relationship,” you mentioned, “you don’t seem like the type to know of company gossip.”  

"it’s not hard to tell when she is wrapped around Reiss’s finger,” Levi countered, “besides, I know more than you think I would,” you laughed as you stood up and sat down on the ledge of his desk.  

you knew that if it had been any other person, even Erwin and Hanji, sitting on top of his desk, he would have immediately kicked them off, claiming that they were getting everything so dirty. 

“really now?” you taunted, “like what? I wanna know the tea you’ve heard around the company!” you crossed your legs as Levi couldn’t help to actually take you in. 

Levi had never really payed much attention to his assistants before. he had gone through so secretaries and assistants that he eventually stopped paying attention to them. 

you were different however. you were afraid of him, as was everyone when they first signed up for the job, but as you got more comfortable around him, every now and then you would tease or taunt him. 

there was something that stood out to him about you. maybe it was your looks or maybe it was the you treated him, whatever it was, his mind would wander to you at times. your smile whenever you laughed at something Hanji did made his heart stop, even for a second. whenever you touched his arm or hand on accident, it felt like there was a burning sensation afterwards. 

“that’s for me to know and you to find out,” you went over to your desk and took out a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies before going back to ledge of the desk, “would you like some? I don’t think I seen you eat lunch today,” you mentioned. 

Levi was hesitant but his mind took over and pulled out the Milano cookie, “please, I want to know! I’m very interested in this company gossip,” you exclaimed making Levi laugh before shaking his head no. 

you huffed in playful annoyance. 

“no fair! I told you everything I knew,” Levi knew that was a lie, “okay, maybe not everything,” you replied truthfully. 

for what felt like a mere few minutes actually ended up with the both of you talking for a few hours. you knew both of you had work piled high but that suddenly seemed to leave both your minds as you continued to talk. 

you heard your phone going off indicating that it was time to head home, “hey, Levi?” you asked, “we’re all going to be at the bar a few blocks down. you should come by,” you asked a bit nervously. 

Levi hadn’t been asked out anywhere in years. the last time he went to anything like that, he was still in his twenties. 

“I’ll see if I can make time in my schedule,” he replied making your eyes roll, “come on Ackerman, when’s the last time you’ve done this?” you asked as he remained silent, “exactly! Benny’s, nine o’clock,” you reminded before grabbing your Fjallraven Kanken bag and leaving. 

Levi stayed at his desk long after you were gone. his mind contemplated whether to take your invitation but his thoughts got interrupted as he heard Hanji and Erwin walk into his office. 

“go home Levi,” Erwin said as Levi shook his head no, “you should!” Hanji added, “it’s a Friday night. enjoy the fucking weekend for once.” 

Levi immediately kicked them out as they laughed to themselves. he took his phone out of his pants and did something he hadn’t done in YEARS. 

Hanji had downloaded a few social media apps to his phone once and although he never posted anything, he was still logged in. with you being so tech savvy, he was sure that you had an account somewhere. 

Levi searched through multiple peoples accounts until he stumbled upon Eren’s and got to yours. you had posted a few things to your Instagram story and clicked on it.

the first one was the photo you wore to work. the second was you at lunch with Eren, the third was of you and all the girls are the bar, and the last one was with you and Reiner. you were on his back, in a piggyback form, as you held onto Reiner’s chest a little too tight for Levi’s liking. 

Levi thought of his predicament and in the end, his mind won. he was going to meet you at the bar. he quickly shoved everything in his desk before grabbing his backpack and keys. 

you had no idea if Levi was actually going to come or not but every now and again, you would look at the door. a few noticed but didn’t say anything. 

“come on, let’s go and dance,” Reiner asked you as agreed with hesitance. 

the bar was almost blacked out that you could hardly recognize Reiner’s face as you danced against him. the lack of romance was noticeable as Reiner looked at other girls to dance with. 

“the brunette in the back is eyeing you,” you whispered to Reiner, “go to her, I’m gonna get a drink,” Reiner gave you a silent thank you before going towards her as you made your way to the bar. 

as you waited for your drink, you watched the door and felt your jaw drop noticing who walked in. 

Levi 

you knew that if you kept him out of the group, he would feel less awkward and a lot more willing to dance or even talk to you. like you had mentioned earlier, you were glad the lights were so dim that to the eye, they wouldn’t even recognize that it was Levi. 

you grabbed your drink before basically darting to Levi. 

“hey! you made it!” you screamed as he chuckled, “you threatened me, I really didn’t have a choice,” he joked making you roll your eyes, “come get a drink, they’re kind of cheap here,” you told him. 

Levi nodded as he followed you to the bar. he ended up ordering a Hennessy neat as the two of you remained sitting and talking. 

one drink turned into a few before you convinced him to dance at least one song with you. Levi followed you, albeit a little annoyed, but as soon as you got him to the dance floor, you turned around and danced against him. 

“just relax,” you whispered to him before grabbing his arm and pulling it over your shoulder to hold it, “enjoy tonight.”

Levi tried to dance back but with himself feeling a bit drunk and not having danced like this in years, he felt a bit stiff. you on the other hand were vibing straight to the song playing. 

once Levi finished his drink and you were still dancing with him, he turned you around and looked at your ( colored ) eyes. you gave him a genuine smile before relaxing into his arms. 

“But let me buy you drinks, better yet rings. Do it how you want it done, girl and who would of thought that you could be the one 'cause I can't wait to fall in love with you.” 

Levi without thinking went in for a kiss. you were a bit stunned at the sentiment but reciprocated and kissed back. you wrapped your arms around his neck as the soft make out session continued. 

“my place? it’s not to far from here,” Levi mentioned as he kind of hoped you said yes, “after you Levi.” 

ALITA