#man I love goldfish crackers

[prismaticpichu]

What if Zack was the first person to notice and care that Sephiroth has a crazy strict diet and has never gone against it or had any junk food or fast food or anything Hojo didn't approve of?

Let’s be real here- Zack absolutely was the first person to notice this <3 <3 Sorry Gen & Angeal!! Not to demoralize them but I imagine those two caring about Seph, realizing he has limitations, and stopping there. They wanted to respect them. They had their curiosities, maybe a deadly impulse at Hojo after seeing a scar or two. But they were afraid of the electric fence.

Zack was NOT. He was getting in there, he was ramming into that fence, he was getting shocked, and he was going to keep climbing no matter how charred his skin got until he reached the other side. He was going to make him happy.

Zack discovers this horrifying soul blemish very early in their budding friendship, mainly because Zack was always snacking on something. Chips. Fries. Pepperidge farm cheddar goldfish crackers now with 15% more cheese. Zack finds the phrase “sharing is caring” religious, and he would inevitably offer one to his friend.

“Want one, Seph?”

“No,” the reply is automatic.

“You sure? Not even one?”

“Yes.”

“They’re tasty!”

“No.”

“You’ll love it! C’mon, buddy!”

“No thank you, Zackary.”

“It’s the snack that smiles back! It makes you happy!”

“I can’t.”

Beep beep, oooooowwwwwwhup. Alarm bells going off. It was all Zack needed to hear. Sephiroth proceeds to explain that Hojo, his caretaker (in the most air quotes sense) never let him enjoy foods that weren’t rich in nutrients. Okay, well-meaning enough. The concerning thing is that Sephiroth is 23yo and he’s still under Hojo’s snackless thumb. He doesn’t know what a potato chip tastes like, nor has he tasted ANY of the foods Zack lists. And it’s a very, very long list.

Zack’s immediate destination is the vending machine, to which he returns with a boat load of chocolate, chips, and the like. Sephiroth rejects all of it, naturally, but Zack is not a quitter. Esta no estupido either. He picks up a bag of chips and hands it out in offering, even as Sephiroth gives him that narrow-eyed, recoiling, lips-kinda-pulled-into-a-snarl face. Zack insists that he’s fit as a fiddle and that this, these chips, symbolize a step into independence. Hojo is controlling him and he won’t allow his friend to miss out on the small, amazing joys of life. He’s gonna fight this, and he knows Seph can too. The chips will set him free. The chips will be the key to his shackles, guiding him out of the prison cell with trails of salt to guide him, waiting for him to take his first crunch into the big world.

It’s a very empowering speech. Worthy of a standing ovation, maybe a trophy but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The important thing is that it worked, and Sephiroth is holding the chip bag. He takes one out and sniffs it first. It smells salty. And like corn. Zack is terribly amused by the way he’s analyzing the chip, especially how his eyes go all kitty-roundy. It’s so cute! (Zack smushes his cheeks.) Anywho, Zack watches with all the laser-focus of a deadly stakes football game, down to the last second of the last down of the last quarter of the last game of the playoffs.

Sephiroth takes a bite.

…Oh my.

Yes… yes this is very different…

Very salty indeed… very corny.

He thinks he like it.

What ensues for the oncoming months (after the firework show) is the role-reversing of someone weaning of a harmful drug, except it’s introducing Seph to different foods on the snack pyramid. Zack takes him to the bakery, getting a platter of cookies (Sephiroth loves the snickerdoodle), orders Wutain take out (Sephiroth loves the soy sauce), and starts adding pizza to their movie nights (Sephiroth loves the meatball). He still doesn’t eat unless prompted, and still resorts to lighter meals, fruits, veggies, and wet, engineered seaweed that Hojo used to feed him. He offers Zack this seaweed one day (sharing is caring, right?), dangling it out with his head kinda canted. Zack pretty much has no choice but to accept it. He doesn’t wanna hurt Seph’s feelings.

What the HECK, HOJO? (Zack cleans his tongue with a sponge when Seph’s gone.)

It takes time, as all assimilation does, but Sephiroth makes progress. He doesn’t hesitate any more when Zack pours some of his goldfish into his hand, and Zack smiling at him so proudly makes them taste even better. Even if he selects healthy options when they order in, he’s still agreeing to order in, and Zack’s always happy to share. They end up almost always with a 50/50 split of each other’s meals on their plates—which just like the goldfish, makes the food taste even better!

Seph also develops a big sweet tooth for vanilla pudding. It’s his go-to dessert when he thinks he’s earned it! He falls in love with anything vanilla and will devour it in a heartbeat. Zack’s favorite dessert on the planet is molten chocolate lava cake, and at the bakery, which Zack worships, it’s a tag-team effort! Zack takes down the cake and Seph handles the scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. Mission accomplished!

Because Sephiroth is Sephiroth, his metabolism is at sonic speed (high-fives Jenova). He barely gains weight at all- a perfect scapegoat for his tainted diet. But one day Hojo runs a blood test and finds that his cholesterol level has increased ASTRONOMICALLY from the last time he took one. He is not a happy camper. He demands to know what sludge Sephiroth has been eating, and Sephiroth tells him the truth. Right front and center. Now he doesn’t say who has been “brainwashing” him because Gaia he doesn’t want Zack involved, but he does say, loud and proud, that he can eat whatever he wants.

Hojo calls him a disobedient rodent. And you know what Seph does? He stands up, walks over to his father, and slaps him right smack across the face. He couldn’t control his diet because he was a BIG boy. YEAH DAD.

[sometimes-sleeby-octopus]

Guys I think there’s been a manufacturing error, these goldfish are not child friendly, the green one tried to spit on me /j

[jarofstyles]

More DAD!Harry pleasssseee like baby boy pouting because he wants to be treated like a big boy and Harry can't help but kiss his chubby cheeks????

PLEASNJENJRF I love dadrry so much

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"What is the frown for, peanut?" Harry's voice echoed in the kitchen as he saw his son sitting with his arms crossed in his booster seat. The tv show themed plate and cup set sat in front of him, Y/N having served lunch to them both and excusing herself to grab her own. "Do you not want this?"

It was his favorite. Grilled cheese that Y/N had cut into smaller squares, goldfish crackers, cut up grapes and strawberries neatly arranged on the plate and apple juice in his cup. He couldn't quite see anything wrong with it, but he had been reminded that toddlers changed their minds about their likes all the time.

"It's baby." He whispered, looking at the printed cup. Paw Patrol characters decorated the sides of the sippy cup. "Don't want to be baby. I want to be a big boy." His eyes looked up at Harry's, the color strikingly similar to his own as his brows furrowed.

"What demean, mate?" he looked at the food. "Nothin' too baby about it. Looks like a great meal that mumma made for us. Don't you like Paw Patrol?" the man reached out to brush some of the curls from his son's face, heart clenching a bit. He was the perfect mix of his younger self and his wife. He was growing up much to fast for Harry's liking. It felt like just the other day that he had been in the baby sling while Harry did the dishes, trying to keep him asleep by singing as to not disturb an exhausted Y/N who had just fallen asleep on the couch.

"It's baby." He looked down, kicking his feet. The light up shoes activated as they hit against the side of the table, feeling a little shy with his father's attention. "Want a big cup like you. Please?" His little voice tugged at his heartstrings, the earnest want in his tone making him purse his lips.

"Well... we can, but I have to say, I may steal the cup for myself." He sighed, looking at it in faux longing. "I've always wanted a cup like that. It's too cool for me though. Besides, it makes sure there's no spills. Y'don't want to get all sticky with the juice if it spills over, right?" He rubbed over his little cheek, watching as he visibly worked through what his daddy had said. It was a wonder to observe, seeing someone so new to life have such obvious emotions and though processes on his face.

"You like the cup?" He peeped. "It's cool?" his hands tugged at the bottom of his shirt as he looked at the cup Harry had taken in his hand. Seeing his father show interest meant it must be cool.

"I do. It's the coolest, and besides.. Mumma looked for ages for this cup for you." He smiled. "Why don't you use It for a while and we can get you a big cup in a few weeks, okay? I may steal the cup if you don't want to use it."

"No, Daddy! It's mine!" giggles left his now bright eyes. "You ca borrow it but.. it's cool. You said so. " The chubby hands reached for the cup which the man handed over, feigning hesitation.

"Okay, my lovely. But you better watch your back. I may come and take it."

[ganjamonster11]

Unfortunately I was not chosen for the Great British Bake Off

Not even a minute later.

OH BROTHER WHO LET THESE GUYS COOK🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

@ganjamonster11 something small and not really that good because I GUESSSSS you've been promoted to the part of our friendship where I draw us together or whatever 🙄

[glossysoap]

i get that about fetishizing tbh, but i hate fetishizing. so this is.. sfw and nsfw? so… !!

(ps. this is AFTER soap transitioned.)

sfw (nsfw mentioned)

- soap, has the best sculpted body. i mean. abs, thighs, legs, arms. also has the most attractive skin, if that makes sense. and has little moles and freckled everywhere. HEAVY freckles on his shoulders and back though.

- has back dimples. when you go to massage him, you start massaging his dimples and he loves it. like groaning and whining and you laugh, because when you stop he gives you the most sassiest look. like, ‘looks over his shoulder’ sass look

- he likes when you draw/connect his freckles together, it comfort him with the cooling ink on his skin, from a pen. also loves if you doodle on his hands, going to his biceps even.

- wears your underwear. don’t ask why. ‘it’s comfy sometimes’ he says to you when you find him wearing your underwear. you look at him like he’s crazy.

- loves, LOVES goldfish. he’ll chomp on those forever if he had the chance. literally would eat those crackers. devour them even. (self indulgent. i fucking love those crackers.)

- loves sharks. especially leopard sharks. his 2nd favourite is the great white. he actually seen a great white as he went scuba diving once when he was a teenager and has a necklace of a tooth. loves them!

- his least favourite tv show.. is military/army tv shows. he hates how they make the men misogynistic and realistic. it’s probably because he’s military/army.

- loves wearing muscle shirts, idk but he’d look so good with those shirts. just.. scrumdillyumptious. fit so perfectly on his broad shoulders and and the shirt cut just a bit to see his pecs.

- smells like gasoline. just.. gasoline.

- first crush was actually gaz, then ghost, then you. gaz because he’s such a pretty boy, and his first time with a man was him. then ghost, because of how stern he was. then you, the pretty lady who he seen shopping for something.

- prettiest eyelashes. idk why, but my man’s eyelashes are so on point, their just super nice? like, your jealous. (you put mascara and eyeliner on him once. may have loved him even more with the makeup on.)

nsfw

- has the most prettiest pussy and bush. like, his bush is straights but slightly curled at the end, so it’s messy and overgrown. you love smelling it when you lick his cock, it just smells so musky. his pussy is JUICY. like, you suck at his lips while humming into them. then circling his cock. yum yum!

- slight nsfw? you like sucking on his nipples. it’s soothing, and it’s vice versa. he likes sucking in your tits, biting them, sucking them, leaving marks on them. works everytime.

- loves using his fingers instead of a strap. like, he can control his fingers better then a strap and fuck, he can go in and out fast us in his finger. lightning speed type of fast. making you squirt just using his fingers. (probably recorded the thing, the video being 11 seconds to make you squirt.)

- his strap is skin coloured i think. maybe a silicone blue or purple. but mostly skin coloured. (also has a strap that can eject fake semen.)

- he loves eating you out as much as you like eating him out. just lazily sucking on your clit as you grip his mohawk. or maybe y’all are in the car and he scoots his pants down for you to suck his enlarged cock.

- has also once finger-fucked you in the car with his fingers while he’s driving. very talented man.

anyways, my thoughts. may do gaz next.. 😼

OH MY GOD 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that was so perfectly fucking well written!!!! and soo fucking accurate!!!!

having me DROOLING 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[pendragonsgallery]

@roszabell asked me to post this and I delivered

Hetalia Characters as things said by my college friend group:

America: “Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I don’t know the basic components of it! I wasn’t in the Revolutionary War but I still know what happened. I know how it started- I know the foreplay, and the aftercare is just the Constitution. It’s not that complicated of an issue.

Canada: “Yeah I could take down a moose. If I can dive quick and tap it in the nuts it’ll go down guys, trust me. I’m a moose expert.”

England: “You look like a guy in the 1940s being drafted for war. Why are you mad, at least I didn’t call you British. I held back just for you.”

France: “What if I want to be a rich bitch? Is that respectable?”

Spain: “If my parents had told me they were having another kid, I would just say no. I’m the princess here bitch.”

Romano: “vapes are so gross. If you’re going to be addicted to nicotine, at least smoke a cigarette like a real man.”

Germany: “How did I, as a twenty year old man become the mother figure. And why am I doing it so well?”

Prussia: “Just Dance? Bet. If I’m making money, I’ll twerk like there’s no tomorrow.”

Italy: *very confidently* “Some people like hard liquor and I like fruits in my yogurt! I see no difference.”

China: “I know how to tell if there is inflation. It’s determined by dip in dots prices”

Japan: “I’m just staring at the goldfish crackers… and they’re staring… back at me.”

Russia: “anything is possible if you believe in yourself and that if that includes you deepthroating your ice cream… then who am I to judge I guess.”

Austria: “I can assure you that people twerked and got down hard to Ode to Joy and absolutely should continue to do so. Shit slaps.”

Hungary: “I’m gonna beat you with my shoe out of love.”

Denmark: “Well you know what else bitch??? You’re mom- I mean my mom- your mom- my-your- fuck I-”

Lithuania: “I drink black coffee cause I need ✨validation✨.”

[bizzybkd]

Cornbread (1)

Killmonger x pregnant!reader / part one

Warnings: None, just super fluffy, and in this AU, Erik’s father never left Wakanda but he did pass at the same time as in canon, Erik just grew up surrounded by the rest of his family instead

As you looked amongst your closet, the growing mound on your front told you that most of your clothing wouldn’t properly fit you anymore right now. Carrying your fiancé’s big headed baby boy had given you enough reason to buy larger sized clothing ahead of time. Of course, most of the clothes you wore were Erik’s, seeing as he was almost an entire foot taller than you.

You reached your hand inside and pulled out one of Erik’s Nike tech outfits, the much larger size telling you that as long as you didn’t spill anything on it, and your baby didn’t suddenly decide to come two weeks early and have your water break whilst sitting on the couch, Erik wouldn’t be upset once he saw you in it.

Said man had already taken his leave to go to work, a job you knew very little about but didn’t care to know much. You had your dream Cadillac in the garage and subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, and Disney+ and more than enough good food in the kitchen. Whether it needed to be made or even just removed from the packaging, you couldn’t be happier with the selection. Erik always made sure you had your favorites, which at the time were goldfish crackers, plantain chips, ice cold water from your preferred refillable water bottle, and your soon-to-be Auntie-in-law’s homemade cornbread, which Erik would either take you to get personally from her in Wakanda or he would go get himself.

For a royal family that could have any chef they desired and any food they could ask for at their finger tips, Queen Mother making cornbread always seemed to brighten your mood no matter what.

As you looked in the fridge for your cornbread, you looked at the container the cornbread was in had been gone, and taking a quick glance at the sink, you knew exactly why.

‘You ate the last piece of cornbread?!’ You sent to your fiancé’s phone, fingertips typing ten words a second at how furious you were becoming. How dare he! Taking the last piece of cornbread he knew you loved and knew he wouldn’t have time to get for another few days due to work. How dare he taken something quick to eat in his late morning that you had wanted first!

After five minutes passed of you staring at the message sitting on “delivered”, it finally changed to “read 11:27am”.

‘…’

‘…’

‘Babygirl, there was only one piece left.’ He replied, having deleted and retyped his message three times as the dots had told on him.

‘That was my last piece! Now there isn’t anymore and I want some! When can we get more?’

‘Maybe Thursday, (Y/n). I don’t know, I shouldn’t be talking right now, okay? I’ll get you your cornbread.’

You glared at the message and simply put a ‘thumbs up’ on it in reply, letting out a long groan of frustration before putting a hand over your belly, in your act of anger, you had forgotten to actually get something to eat. Getting up with a huff, you trudged to the kitchen with much less gumption that you had before. Pulling the box of Lucky Charms cereal from the cabinet and the oat milk from the fridge, you made yourself a quick bowl of cereal, leaving everything out by you as you knew you would want another few bowls.

An hour or so later, still saddened by the lack of cornbread as you munched on the bland tasting plantain chips you had beside you. The mediocre game show on screen made you cringe, it was obvious the contestants were guessing wrong on purpose to the easiest questions just to make the episode hit its target screen time. It annoyed you to no end, but seeing as you binged all your shows and wouldn’t dare taint your mind’s taste buds by risking a new show or movie, you settled.

Out of boredom, you decided to treat yourself, you were cornbread-less, patience-less, and had what the doctors assumed to be a seven to eight pound baby in your belly. Wakanda was only a short ten hour trip by flight, and practically 30 minutes if you could convince your cousin-in-law, Princess Shuri or King T’Challa to send a jet to your house.

You had always known about Erik, well, N’Jadaka, Erik simply being the name he took undercover when he came to America where he met you. You figured out pretty quickly he was the prince, shaving his beard, contacts and a switch from locs to a fade didn’t do as much disguising as he’d hoped, not from you anyway.

You kept his secret while you both attended MIT, as long as he promised to help you pass your physics and trigonometry courses. Aside from numbers and formulas, those weren’t the only things you were happy to take with you once you graduated.

Now having dated four years and being eight months pregnant, with a beautiful 4 carat engagement ring on your finger, and a very strong bond between your fiancé and his family, it wasn’t exactly uncommon for your pregnant self to call the princess and king if you needed something while Erik was at work.

Dialing Shuri’s kimono beads with your own she’s given you, it was almost immediately she answered, a large smile on her holographic face.

“(Y/n)!! It’s great to hear from you!! How are you and my nephew? Sleeping okay? Resting? Eating well?” She cried, the background of the hologram showing she must’ve been at work in her lab.

“Hello, Shuri, I’m doing very well thank you, M’Jabe too. Erik ate the last piece of Queen Mother’s cornbread this morning and I was hoping I’d be able to come get more? It’s really been the only thing keeping me—“

“Right away! I’ll speak with cousin later but for now you come here!!” Shuri interrupted, an interruption you couldn’t care less for as it meant you’d be getting what you wanted. “The jet will be there in ten minutes, shall you pack a bag and stay the night again?” She asked.

You’d stayed the night last month, having had phantom contractions that had easily convinced you that you were in labor. Seeing as it had been another four weeks since then, it was obvious you were wrong. Knowing you still had two weeks before your due date, you deemed yourself perfectly fine not to stay long, especially with how busy the royal family were already.

“No, Shuri, but thank you, I’ll stay again in a week or two since M’Jabe will be due then.” You assured her. She nodded solemnly but smiled. “That’s fine, but the next sleepover I’ll be meeting my nephew so I’ll be looking forward to that!”

You let out a laugh and nodded. You and Shuri continued to talk until the jet arrived, having put on a jacket to combat the nipping mid October weather and a pair of fuzzy slippers you loved. Okoye met you at the top of the stairs into the jet, giving you a smile as you walked in, lending you a hand up the steps as you used the other hand to hold your belly.

“Enkosi, General.” You smiled as she nodded and helped you to a seat.

“Of course, (Y/n), it’s good to see you’re doing well, I’d hoped you would with prince N’Jadaka.” She replied, earning a laugh from you and your son who kicked your kidney in agreement. God he wasn’t even born yet and he was heavy handed like his father.

The ride to Wakanda was short of course, and for good reason, you could only feel your drool escaping your lips as you nearer the great castle, as if smelling the cornbread being made already.

Erik called you after you landed and we’re being escorted inside.

“Why are you in Wakanda?” He asked almost immediately after you answered.

“I wanted my cornbread.” You replied matter-of-factly.

He let out an audible sigh. “You’re a trip..” he let out a soft chuckle before it turned into a light laugh. He loved your attitude, and his ability to tame it. “Don’t worry, Babygirl, I’ll be there soon. Tell Auntie and the other two I said hey.”

You smiled and walked along the long hallways with Okoye, her simply going about her duty alongside you. You couldn’t tell if she was just a master of not showing her opinions through her face, or if she truly tuned out your conversation. It didn’t really matter to you.

“Okay, baby, I’ll see you when you get here. And I forgive you for eating my cornbread.” You smiled, rubbing your belly gently.

He let out yet another laugh, but this one came from his gut, he truly found you amusing and that’s one of the things he truly loved about you. You loved his laugh as well.

“Thank you for forgiving me baby. I won’t touch your cornbread again.” He said in defeat, you could hear the smile in his voice and it made you blush. God, even after four years he could make you giggle like a school girl.

“Get here soon, me and M’Jabe miss you lots..” you admitted. Curse your pregnancy tongue.

Erik noticed the small difference in your tone, how sad you suddenly became at the thought of him being so far away. He hated doing that to you, no matter what his duties were. Of course, him working was to provide for the human you both created that was only days away from coming along. You and your baby were his priorities and everything else came second, so as much as he’d want to spend hours and hours tending to your pregnant form and giving you all the treatment you deserved, being able to stay with his family was the next best thing.

“How about you stay in Wakanda until my son comes along?” He asked you, knowing you had already discussed how you wanted to stay in the comfort in your own home until it was time. But you also knew that he was worried about that plan, what if you went into labor and he wasn’t home or couldn’t make it home, he’ll be damned before you had to take yourself to a rinky dunk hospital that charged almost 100k just for birthing the child and even just holding it afterwards, before the baby was born of course.

You went silent for a bit to think it over, you knew what he was worried about but also knew what you wanted. Being hormonal and pregnant, missing your fiancé who couldn’t be there for what you knew wouldn’t be another two hours, and in a castle you hadn’t spent more than a week at a time in, tears welled in your eyes.

You quickly wiped them away and did your best to hide the sudden spiral in your voice.

“How about we talk about that when you get here, baby, I don’t wanna make any decisions without looking each other in the face.” You said, mustering a smile.

Erik nodded, he knew that would make you feel better.

“Alright, baby, that sounds good. I’ll talk to you then, okay? I love you.” He finally said.

“I love you back..” you replied, hanging up the phone and letting soft tears fall as you made it to the thrown room.

Face to face was how you liked to handle things anyway. That how you got M’Jabe to be two weeks away to being in the world anyway.

Well… maybe not two weeks.

[scribe-cas]

Writeblr intro!

Okay, so, I've been here for forever, but if I made an intro post, I definitely don't remember it. So.

Info under the cut!

Welcome to my blog. Enjoy your stay!

"Who are you?" Great question!

Hi folks, my name is Cas, and I'm an amateur writer with a love for all things words.

I use He/they/she pronouns,, but neos are fun. I don't have chosen ones, I prefer to let other people use what they think is apt to depict me. :> but to keep it simple, he/they/she! Use whatever pronouns are in your heart for me!

I'm a slave to the whims of my whimsy. If what you're writing makes me feel things, whether they're dark and unsettling or soft and lighter than air, I'm there. A few of my interests are cryptozoology, psychology, horror, fantasy, music and dance, and just anything I can search for. My favorite game is pattern recognition and completion, which makes things like escape rooms and scavenger hunts, whether for treasure or lore (same thing) a huge treat for me. I love being able to search, so if you like hiding obscure lore, let me at it like a pack of hounds.

I write horror, fantasy, mystery, comedy. My current WIP is a slasher comedy with a side of childish whimsy served up on a silver platter with some slice of life and sex jokes for seasoning. Loosely similar energy to Gravity falls is basically everything I make. What can I say, it's what I like.

I'm 18+, work two jobs and have the retensive memory of a soggy goldfish cracker. My schedule is hectic. If you see me reblogging posts, but I've neglected to answer you or respond to something you send, it's not you! I just have the memory of a wet rag.

Most of my work has at least some suggestive elements to it, because sex is a joke to me (/voice of someone who is very, very aroace). But literally every work does if you peek hard enough. Literally just heed my 18+ warnings on this page and you won't run into anything too gross.

I love weird things! Weird things galore! The more fucked up and absurd, the more I cheer! If you think an idea is stupid, send it to me!! I'd love to discuss it with you. Those little one off facts you've come up with for a character? That Au that stemmed from a joke? That cringe thing you're fixated on? Hit me with it! As a man with questionable morals once said, "Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram!" And therefore, we should have as much fun as we can!

If you ask me about Couteau, I will literally pledge my life to you. I swear. Or if you comment on any of my writing with him in it. Anything.

My WIPs!

"Well, what stuff are you working on?" LET ME ANSWER THAT!

"Sweeter Than Silence" (Project status: Active; In Progress For: 7+ years)

This, my magnum opus, that I've been fiddling at and fucking with the concept of on and off for approximately 11 years, but have been writing for about 7-

Is my LGBT, slice of life healing and depression infused comedy about a woman who goes home to find that everything she's been looking for in a fulfilling life is already there. "Everything", being a murder mystery in her haunted town that she knows wouldn't hurt a fly without good reason, a ragtag gay friend group, and the local hot bartender who is so outlandish it's like he's not even human. (spoiler alert! There might be a reason for that-)

Goofing aside, this story is stuffed to the brim with just the most absurd concepts I could think of. A media about embracing the purest form of self, and learning to love that part of you that finds beauty in the weirdest corners of the world, even if it was killed very young, to embrace your curiosity, and to indulge in suspension of belief. A low stakes, supernatural slasher comedy between a girl who's been told her whole life she's too much and a man who only wants her to get freakier.

This story is: - One of three parts! - T4T! Both main characters are trans, and they have a romance. - Stupid. /pos - Full of the stuff that would make a 13 year old go wild - A Composed Character Breaking Down And Losing It (TM) - Morally grey murder - A bunch of other stuff

"Rose Colored Glasses" (Project status: In Stasis, no longer currently active)

A fanfic i started y e e e a r s ago, when the Hazbin fandom was starved for content. A multi-chapter reader perspective fic, where, after falling into hell, they help an overcompensating Overlord Valentino cease his abusive ways. It's a fix it fic. It's me fixing him. Mostly just an excuse for me to dissect and make a dissertation on Valentino's possibly horrifically fractured and bruised psyche. I like the version of him I made up in my head, but I also like him canon, because he's horrific but he's also just. Iconic. Let's be real. Motivation for this passed on when Hazbin itself shattered my theories, but I still keep it around for fun.

The fanfic:

I also have personal notes that I won't be linking, but if you wanna know more about my theories, please ask! Even non canon, I love talking about my AU Valentino.

"You're Free" (Project status: Finished! Just for fun)

A fanfic I busted out in like an hour and a half once for a video game that gripped me by the neck. (Cryptid Coffeehouse, I love you.)

Not much to explain on this one, it was a self indulgent little scribble I did once, although if you haven't played CC, I highly recommend it.

The fanfic:

Books two and three of BISTS (the overarching series that Sweeter Than SIlence starts!) I know what happens in them, I just have to write it out. Wish me luck

Miscellaneous smut fics that I've done as spin offs of my own series just for fun and to explore different power dynamics. If I ever post any of them, they'll go on a pseud specifically for schrodingers fics (both canon and not, it depends on how I feel) under forgotten_scripture (AO3 account)

Miscellaneous Info!

My blog is sorted into tags!

castalk - Me saying words! bists/blood is sweeter than silence - All of my WIP info on Sweeter Than Silence and it's series. couteau my beloved go back into your box - The tag I specificslly use for anything and everything about my antagonist/first book series love interest. I highly recommend checking out this tag if for no other reason so that you have to look at him. coudoodles - Art I've done of. my antagonist. castalk - Me saying words! bists/blood is sweeter than silence - All of my WIP info on Sweeter Than Silence and it's series. couteau my beloved go back into your box - The tag I specificslly use for anything and everything about my antagonist/first book series love interest. I highly recommend checking out this tag if for no other reason so that you have to look at him. coudoodles - Art I've done of. my antagonist.

Use these to navigate your way around here! I'll add more as needed.

I have a huge fixation on the antagonist of Sweeter Than SIlence. I mentioned him earlier, but, his name is Couteau, he's my stupid 6'4 redhead who wears 2 inch heels to make himself taller, he's a moron, he's immortal, and he's my beloved baby. I lose my shit over this man on a daily basis. Genuinely, bring him up to me and I will talk for hours. I do not regret it. I'm haunted by visions.

I love awful memes. 200% permission if we've never interacted to just send me a bad meme. I want one

And or, I spend a lot of time stuck in spots where I need music recommendations. Throw a song at me!

My inbox is always open. My DMs are always open. I love talking. Do not fear me. Come tell me about your favorite things.

Hey long haired redheaded trans men!

Having a shitty day?

Feeling dysphoric?

Need a mood boost?

Send your selfies to my inbox and watch me go absolutely incoherent about the fact that you look like my OC! For the small price of one existence, I will hype you up to unspeakable levels because you deserve it!! Watch a stranger on the internet rave about how unspeakably fantastic you are!

(mostly kidding about this, but if it would make you feel better, go right ahead, I'm always happy when my obsessions spread love /gen)

Aaaaaand, on that note-

I think that's it!

If you read all of this, wow, look at you!! You did fantastic!!! I can't wait to ask you about your projects, and am waiting with bated breath for you to ask me about mine. HAHAHA

Anyways! Welcome to my blog!

Enjoy your stay!

~ Cas. <3

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart -Chapter 7

Pairing- Jensen x ex!Padalecki Reader

Word count- 4,826

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Brief discussion of sex. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-Sorry for the last chapter, but you all had to know it was coming. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Thankfully everyone left you alone the day after you returned home.  You spent the day in your room curled up in the bed watching movies.  Alternating between Hallmark channel and other rom coms which had you arguing with the tv about how relationships really work out.

Tom brings you some goldfish crackers that evening when he thought you might be hungry.  You thank him and turn on Disney when he curls up next to you.

“You won’t let me down, will you little man?”

He shakes his head and the crackers he’s chewing spill from his mouth.

“You are just going to make a mess in my bed.”

He nods to that one.  With a shake of your head, you start to tickle him.  He ends up falling asleep in your room.  Jared comes by later and moves him to his own. 

Wednesday starts out much the same, but Gen won’t let you stay holed up in your room all day 

long. 

“Up and at ‘em lady, let’s go.  Get moving.”

“I’m good right here.  I don’t have anything I’m supposed to do anyways.”

“You had yesterday to lay around, come on.  You need to actually leave this room today,” she keeps pushing you.  “Go take a shower, or a bath even, that will help get you going.

With a groan you give in and get out of bed. Heading into the attached bathroom Gen calls after you,  “Tom and I will be waiting for you downstairs to have breakfast.”

After showering, you throw on some shorts and a t-shirt and put your wet hair up in a bun. You don’t want to make the pregnant woman wait too long for breakfast.  

Coming down the steps you hear her and Tom in the kitchen, sounds like he is trying to help her with breakfast.  Entering the kitchen you see spilled orange juice on the table, and a bowl of spilled blueberries. Gen is taking a wet shirt off of Tom.  Grabbing a washcloth you start cleaning up the table, while she takes care of him. 

Jared is already gone for a meeting, so it’s just the three of you sitting down for breakfast once everything is clean.

“What are you taking this weekend?” Gen asks you.

“Taking where?”

“Are you still joining us for the Fourth of July trip,  with the rest of your family?”

It takes you a minute to wrap your brain around what she said.  “I forgot we are already at the start of July this weekend.  I’m not sure what I’ll bring.  Do you already have yours planned out?”

“We do, Tom and I are going to go pick some fruits and vegetables Friday so they are fresh for the weekend.  We’re going to do a veggie tray and fruit pizza.  Jare talked to Jeff, they ordered some meat for the weekend.  One of us will pick it up before we leave on Saturday.  That way your parents don’t have to deal with it.”

“Sounds good.  Is MJ making her potatoes?”

“Yes, along with salad and your mom is making some side salads.”

“Sounds like desserts on me.”

“That’s what we thought, but I wasn’t going to push you into it.”

“Yeah, I’ll figure out something.”

After breakfast you take your computer to the upstairs reading nook and look for ideas; you aren’t exactly in a party mood so you need some inspiration.  Tom brings his trucks in the room to play and helps you to pick a few things out to make,  jello cookies and cupcakes.  

Before you turn off the computer a ding lets you know a new email arrived.  Checking you see it’s from Creation, they are confirming your dates for the upcoming convention.  Crap, you forgot there was one coming up so soon.  You really aren’t ready to think about seeing Jensen yet, especially when there are going to be hundreds of people around.  You don’t reply, closing it for now to think about.

Getting down on the floor, you play trucks with Tom for a bit before he tires of that and goes off to find his mom.  Jared is back from his meeting, and looking out the back window you see him swimming laps in the pool.  You decide he might be the best person to talk to about the upcoming con.

Sitting down at the edge you put your feet in the water waiting for him to finish up.  He does about five more laps before he comes to a stop.  Wiping the water from his eyes, he turns to look at you.

“Hey, nice to see you out of the bedroom today.”

“Gen didn’t give me a choice.”

“Sounds like my wife.  You alright?”

“Eh.  I need some advice or your opinion, something I don’t know which.”

He looks slightly confused. “Um, okay.”

“I got the schedule confirmation email from Creation today.  Honestly, I forgot about it coming up.  I don’t know that I can be there while he is right now.  I know it’s still a few weeks away, but running into Jay for the first time with a bunch of fans around…”

“Doesn't sound like the best idea?” he finishes for you.

“Yeah.  I don’t want to back out, but I don’t want to be around Sunday.”

He’s quiet for a moment.  “You could tell Creation you need to leave this one earlier than normal.”

“Would you be alright with that?”

“Y/N, I’m alright with whatever you need.  You’re my little sister, you will always come first for me.  So, if you don’t want to go, or need to change the time you are there, tell them.”

“Thanks Jare.”

“No problem,” he tells you with a smirk, and a slight gleam in his eye.

You quickly realize what’s going through his head when he slowly glides through the water toward you.  Pulling your legs out of the pool and standing up away from the ledge you shake your head at him.  “You are not pulling me in, Mister.”

You hear him laughing as you make your way back inside.  The first thing you do is write an email to Creation letting them know you need to make a change.  Looking at the clock, you notice it’s almost three.  You go downstairs to look for Gen, to see if she cares if you make dinner tonight.  You are craving some fettuccine alfredo, it’s a comfort food for you.  The rest of the day passes uneventfully, and they let you retire to the quiet of your room after dinner. 

When you get yourself around Thursday morning, you head to the store with both yours and Gen’s list for this weekend.  As you are walking down the aisle you end up picking up more than you plan on, grabbing jello for the cookies gives you another idea, then one sends you on to the alcohol aisle.

After all the groceries are carried in the house, you get to work.  Gen comes in once and looks at all the jello boxes sitting on the counter then turns to you with her eyebrows raised. 

“Eight boxes of jello, do you think we’ll need that many cookies?”

“Oh no, only two of them are for cookies.”

“Saving the others for later?”

“Nope 4 are for jello shots, don’t worry I’ll do some non alcoholic for you. The other two are for a jello cake.”

“Alright, need any help?”

“Nope I’m good.”

She checks on you a few times as the day goes on, the third time she finally speaks up.

 “Is all of what you are making for this weekend?  I thought you were just going to do the jello stuff?”

“I was going to make those cookies and a regular cake or cupcakes, but I kept finding things in the store that gave me ideas.  So why not make more?  What else am I going to do?  Who cares if I stuff my face all weekend?”

She opens her mouth, but closes it again, and leaves without another word.  Jared comes in later that afternoon, looks around and walks back out.  He goes to find Gen sitting out in the yard with Tom.

“What’s going on in the kitchen?”

“It’s what she's taking with us this weekend.  I think she's trying to distract herself.  We’re going to need to order takeout tonight.  No way I’m going to be able to get in there to make anything.”

“Does she realize there are only ten of us going?”

Gen just shrugs, “what’s she working on now?”

“I think cupcakes.”

“I haven’t seen her make any of those yet.  I have seen a cake and a pan of brownies come out of the oven, jello shots go in the fridge and she was mixing three different batches of cookies.”

“She’ll have us all in a sugar coma.”

You finished all the baking on Thursday and spent Friday morning frosting and decorating the cupcakes, cake, and brownies.

That evening you finish packing and take your suitcase downstairs.  Jared and Gen are watching a movie in the living room area with Tom sleeping between them.

“Hey guys, I was wondering if I could ask you to do me a favor?”

Jared nods and Gen agrees.

“Could you not say anything to anyone about me and Jensen?  I’m not ready for that to come out yet please?”

“You aren’t going to be able to hide it forever,” Jared starts off, but Gen pokes him in the side to stop him.

“But we won’t be the ones to tell them,” she adds.

“Thank you.”

Saturday morning is, well, crazy.  Jared takes the half packed car to go pick up the meat, and get more ice for the coolers.  Gen is chasing a very energetic Tom around the house trying to get him ready.  You are working on packing your SUV.  You thought about riding with them, but that would have been one very full car.

By the time Jared returns, your car is ready to go.  You take over dealing with Tom, while Gen directs your brother on loading their car.  Sadie finds a pile of dirt to go roll in and needs a bath before she can get in the car.   Finally, everyone is ready to go.  You follow their Suburban out the driveway and down the road.

You have an hour and twenty minute drive to Canyon Lake, to let your mind wander.  When this trip was first planned around Christmas time, you had invited Jensen along.  He thought he could get away for the weekend, but that was never brought up again once filming started.  You wonder what he is up to, did he come home to see his family?  Is he up with the cast he is spending so much time with?  Is he happier now that he doesn’t have to deal with you?

Thankfully, before you can really work yourself up, you are pulling into the driveway of the house your parents rented for the weeknd.  Getting out of the car, you cannot believe how big the place is.

Hearing a door open you see your parents walking out of the house.  Tom and Sadie both run up to them.  While the vehicles are being unloaded, Jeff and his family pull in the drive.  After everyone greets one another, the cars finish being emptied.

Inside your mom is giving out bedroom arrangements. “Y/N, I have you and Jensen in the far bedroom, next to Jared and Gen.  When will he be arriving?”

“He isn’t coming.  Sorry, I didn’t realize you were expecting him.”

“Oh, okay.  Jeff and Mary Jo, you are in the room up here and your dad and I will take the last room with the grandkids.”

“Mom, I can take that room.  You two can have the quieter room.”

So your brothers and their wives end up at one end of the house, and you end up on the other with your parents, two nephews and niece.  There was a bunk bed in the room you were sharing with the kids and the two boys immediately claimed it.  As the oldest grandkid, Tyler, Jeff’s son, declared he should have the top.  Katie, was going to sleep in the bed next to yours.

Once the luggage is taken to the rooms, you head down to the kitchen where your mom is already starting to put away the food.  Gen and MJ are down to help shortly.  

“Goodness, do you think we have enough sweets?” your mom asks as she is unloading the items you made.

“I was on a roll,” you tell her.

The kids are begging to go to the beach by the time everything is put away, so once everyone is changed the group makes the ten minute walk to the beach.  Gen and Mary Jo stay on the beach with your parents while you join your brothers and their kids in the water.  You tire out before the little ones do, and the guys herd them back to play on the beach for a while.  Laying down next to Gen on the big blanket she spread out, your mom starts questioning you.

“So how is Jensen doing?”  

“He’s fine, they keep him busy.”

“Does he like the new people he’s working with?”

“Seems to.”

“It’s too bad he couldn’t join us this weekend.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey mom,” Jared calls out, thankfully distracting her for you, “did you see that new exhibit coming to the history museum next month?” 

“No, what is it?” she asks him.  

The kids take a break from digging in the sand to come sit down and eat a snack before getting their parents up to play with them again.  You go between watching Jared and Gen with Tom in the water and Jeff and Mary Jo building a sand castle with their kids.  As much as you hate to admit it, there is a tinge of jealousy watching them all.  You thought you and Jay were going to have this together sometime soon.  Or at least you had hoped, and apparently so did your mother.

“So how long until you and Jensen are chasing a little one of your own around here too?”

“Longer than you think, mom.” Standing up you pick up your things.  “I’m going to go back and let Sadie out since she didn’t come with us.

Back at the house, you take Sadie for a short walk before changing and heading into town.  It’s not your mom’s fault for asking all those things, she doesn’t know what happened between you and Jensen.

Nothing really catches your eye as you walk through some of the small shops.  You pass a grocery store on the way back home, and you decide to stop and grab a bottle of wine.  It might be needed to get through this trip or at least tonight. .  So will the three bags of groceries you leave with. 

When you return Jeff is in the kitchen helping Katie get a drink.  “Where did you disappear to?”

“Just ran into town to look around while you were all busy.”

He looks in the bags you set on the counter, “already worried we’ll run out of food?”

“No.”

When you don’t say anymore, just set about putting the groceries away, he goes back outside with  Katie.  With everything, but what you need out now put away, you get to work.  Jared comes in a few minutes later.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing you?”

“Jeff said you went on a shopping spree.”

“Of course he did.”

“Want to talk about anything?”

“Nope.  I want to make cornbread to go with dinner.”

He watches you for a minute before he also retreats back outside. With the bread in the oven you pull out the bbq mom had gotten ready earlier and put it in the crockpot to warm up.  Seeing the jello shots in there, you take a few out for yourself.  Then decide to whip up a nacho dip to have out for a snack.  You grab those ingredients back out as Gen makes her way inside.  She sits down on one of the stools and watches you.

“I’m fine,” you tell her before she can ask.

“No you aren’t.  But I wasn’t going to ask.  Do you need any help?”

“I think I’m good. Meats heating up, I made cornbread.  I’m not sure what else you guys want out for dinner tonight.  Oh, and I’m making a nacho dip.”

“Probably some vegetables or fruit at least,” Gen says, getting up to look in the fridge.  

She finds some already cut fruit, puts it into a bowl, and brings the salad out that MJ prepared.  She is getting out plates and utensils when your mom enters.

“How are we doing girls?”

“Fine, just getting things out for dinner.”  When Gen hears the mixer start she turns to see what you are doing now.  The nacho dip you had is ready and sitting on the table.   When you finally turn the mix off she asks.  “Now what are you mixing up?”

“Garlic spread for the crackers I bought.”

“Isn’t this a lot of food,” your mom questions looking between the two of you.

“Not really.  Jared and Jeff are like bottomless pits, mom,” you tell her before grabbing out a box of Ritz.

Gen just shakes her head and holds up her hands.  She goes to tell the kids to get washed up, as your mom is getting glasses out for drinks.

“Is everything alright?” she asks.

“Just fine, be better if everyone stops asking me that.”

At the dinner table you end up next to Gen who is helping Tom and across from MJ and Katie.  Both kids still need their parents to help them.  Tyler is busy telling Jeff and your parents a story.  What you don’t see is Jared watching you push the food around your plate from the other side of Tom.

There is a bonfire after dinner with smores, someone across the lake is lighting up fireworks you can see from the yard.  You are ready to head inside for some quiet time when the first kid says they are tired. Jared tries to talk to you, but you tell him you are beat also.

You get up and go for a walk the next morning.  When you return the rest of the crew is getting ready to go back to the beach.  Snacks are packed,  kids are sunscreened, and Jared has Sadie ready with her leash.  He is taking her so she can play in the water.  You tell them all you will be down shortly.  Once they leave you sit on the porch, and enjoy the quiet before you have to get yourself down to the water.  If you wait too long someone will be looking for you. 

The morning at the beach goes much the same as the day before.  Playing in the water and sand.  Three tired kids ride back in the wagon. Looking for a snack in the kitchen, you decide to make up the pull apart cheese bread you saw online.  Remembering it when you were in the store, you grabbed what you needed yesterday.  

Jared comes in for a drink and looks at what you are doing.  “Is there anything else you plan on making, or are you going to join us out on the deck?”

“Um, I could…”

“We have enough food, come hang out with us.”

“Alright, let me get this in the oven.”

You join the other adults on the porch, you’re sure it won’t be long before your mom has another question about Jensen.  To your surprise she doesn’t, neither does anyone else.  Jeff and Jared decide to go off on a run, your mom and dad go in to get the steaks ready for tonight.  That leaves you with your two sister-in-laws. 

Somehow the conversation ends up on sex. You stand up before it gets too far. “Okay I’m out.”

“What? Why?” Mary Jo asks.

“One, it's been way too long, and unlike the two of you, I can’t go upstairs and get the dick tonight when I’m worked up.  Two, you’re both sleeping with my brothers.  I don’t need to hear this.”

“It couldn’t have been that long for you,” MJ says.

“January, before Jensen left.  It’s now July,” you tell her.

“Didn’t you just go see him?”

You sigh and look over at Gen.  “What are you giving me that look for?  I say tell her.  You’re the one keeping it quiet because you think it will ruin the trip,” Gen says.

“What?” MJ questions looking between the two of you.

Taking a deep breath you sit back down.  “I wasn’t going to tell anyone, like Gen said.  Jay and I broke up last weekend.”

“What?” she screams.  “You’re pulling my leg.  You two are made for each other.”

You sadly shake your head no.  “I just don’t want mom and dad to find out yet.”

"Wow, I can’t believe that.  I’m sorry.  I won’t say anything to them, but Jeff believes you’re acting weird and keeps asking me what I think is going on.”

“Fine, you can tell him.”

“I’ll let you get back to your conversation, now.”

“Well you totally killed that buzz, it’s time for a new topic,” Gen teases you.

That night while everyone was around the fire out back, even more people around the area were lighting off fireworks.

“Can we do that?” Tom asks his dad.

“I don’t know buddy, we’ll have to wait and see,” your brother says, hiding a grin that makes you think he already bought some fireworks of his own.

You didn’t sleep well that night and are the last one to rise Monday morning.  The kids are running around in their red white and blue clothes.  Katie has some fancy red and blue ribbons in her hair too.  Once again, beach time is on the agenda.  

You are drying off from a swim next to Gen when your phone starts beeping.  Picking it up you see a notification that Jensen has just posted on Instagram.  He doesn’t tend to post a lot so you forgot to change your notification settings for him.  Part of you says not to, but you open the app anyways. Instead of scrolling down the homepage you go to his profile.

“Wow,” is out of your mouth before you can even think.  You might be upset with him right now, but you can’t help but admire how good he looks in his Soldier Boy suit.  That is followed by a snort and a head shake when you read the caption below the picture. 

“What is it?” Gen asks.

“Jensen posted the reveal of his Soldier Boy Suit. Probably in celebration of the 4th.”  Turning your phone toward her, you show her the picture. 

“Not bad Ackles,” Gen agrees, then she also laughs when reading his caption.  “I can’t believe he said that.”

“I can believe he said it, just surprised it’s on Instagram for all to see.”

“Did you get to see him in his suit when you went to visit?” You mom asks.

“No, I wasn’t able to go to the set with him,” you answer.  

Judging by the look Jeff has on his face, his wife told him of your breakup.  You hurry and change the topic before he can say anything.  Taking your phone back from Gen, you change the notifications for Jensen, and also the profile picture that had been the two of you.  Deciding to go with one of you and your brothers from the day before.

When a break from the sun is needed, the group heads back to the house. The food that is left over is spread out to be picked at as the day goes on.  One of the guys finds a corn hole game in the barn and sets that up in the yard.   Jared and Gen take on Jeff and Mary Jo first.  Your middle sibling wins, and your mom partners with you for the next round.

You and are standing at one end tossing toward them, and trying just as hard to knock each other’s bean bags off, as you are to get them in.  

“So if I make this shot, then you’re babysitting Tom Wednesday and Thursday while we’re in LA, okay?”

Of course he makes the shot, then has to celebrate.

“You know, you could have just asked, and I would have said yes, right?”

“Eh, this is more fun.”

Shaking your head, you line up your throw, the game is still close and you would love to beat him.

“Hey,” calls out Jeff just as you are about to let go, causing you to jump and completely miss the board.

“Yes,” you ask, turning to him with a glare.

He just smiles back, “what does one have to do to get in on the free babysitting?”

“Let me move into your house rent free.”

“We have a couch you can have,” he tells you.

“No, no no.” Jared comes and stands in front of you, so Jeff can’t see you.  “She’s ours.”

“Jared, get back to your spot,” your mom tells him.  “Besides, aren't you going back to Jensen’s when he finishes filming soon?” she asks you.

Your brother next to you, throws his head back and his arms up.  “Will you just tell her for pete’s sake?”

“Tell me what?” your mom questions, looking between you two.  You and Jared are too caught up in a staring contest to answer her right away. 

“Oh fine,” you eventually give in.  Turning away from Jared, you face your mom.  “Jensen and I broke up last weekend.  Our lives are just going in different directions right now.”

Her mouth drops and she just stares at you, not saying a word.

“I think you broke mom,” Jared tells you.

“But you two were so good together.  He was already like part of the family, fit in so well.  I can’t believe you two broke up.”

“She was really counting on having Jensen as a son-in-law apparently,” Jeff throws out.

“And I’m out.  Thank you all.” You toss the last bean bag in your hand down, and walk inside the door slamming behind you.

You head upstairs wishing you had a door to shut for privacy up here.  Collapsing, on your bed you stare up at the ceiling.  It isn’t long before your mom is standing at the top of the stairs looking at you.

 “Yes?” you ask.

“I’m sorry, I was just really surprised to hear that.  Why didn’t you tell me sooner?  Are you doing alright?”

“I didn’t want to ruin your weekend.”

“You couldn’t ruin my weekend by telling me that.  I probably could have made yours better by not asking all the questions about him.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“I talked to Donna this week, she never said anything.”

“I doubt Jensen even told her.  He’s caught up in his new life in Toronto.  I just don’t have a place in it anymore.”

Your mom doesn’t say anything, just wraps you in a big hug as you cry once again.  She sits with you for a little bit, before you tell her you’re alright and she makes her way downstairs.  When dinner is called later, you splash some water on your face and go make an appearance. 

After dinner the kids are playing in the yard, their parents watching them.  You decide to walk back down to the beach.  There aren’t too many people around at this time. Sitting in the sand, up by the waters edge, you enjoy listening to the sound of the waves crashing as they hit shore.  The sun slowly starts to set and shades of pink, and orange fill the sky.  Before it gets too low, you make your way back to the house.

A fire is already going, the little ones have sparklers they are waving around.  Under strict observation, of course.  As it gets darker, more fireworks are going off all around the area.  Jeff and Jared disappear and come back with a small box of their own fireworks.  Tom and Tyler are so excited to see them lit so close to them.    

Once the kids are passed out, their dads take them up to bed.  You help your mom and sisters-in-law clean up the kitchen.  The food is broken down and divided up by who is taking what home.  You end up with more of your baked goods going home then you would have liked.  Maybe, you did overdo the baking.

Tuesday morning, everyone is up a little earlier than the last few days.  After breakfast the cars are packed, and the cabin is straightened back up.  When all that is done, you hug your parents and get behind the wheel of your car, to follow your two brothers back to Austin.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 8

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[starsurface]

Taven and Daegon being pet regressors?

I'm so sorry if they're out of character!!!! I can also redo them or do a part 2!!! 🥺

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Pet Regressor Taven & Daegon Hcs

🦁 Taven pet regresses as a lion cub

🐉 . . . Is it wrong to say that Daegon should be a dragon regressor? 🥺 (Cause- Cause of his name? . . . Guys, I’m actually so funny >:3)

🦁 Taven had a slightly hard time regressing in general, he’s a serious man, and has things to do (y’all, this man is so serious and direct with everything, I love him)

🐉 Daegon regresses a bit easier, but he’s much more of a brat while small

🦁 Tavens a good boy, he just wants pets and comfort :(

🐉 Y’all these two FIGHT

🦁 It’s not just physical though!! Sometimes Daegon will insult Taven about something, and then Taven will call him a naughty name and now they’re bickering

🐉 Siblings, always starting things 🙄 (I have three, and I do love them, I swear <3)

🦁 Daegon has walked over just to bop Taven on the head and Taven lunged at him

🐉 Any physical banter they have, it’s rarely ever dangerous dangerous

🦁 And if you tell them to knock it off, they’ll knock it off

🐉 Daegon, who starts half the fights, always acts like the victim afterwards, whining and wanting cuddles because Taven was being mean 🥺

🦁 Daegon is very much a brat, absolute brat

🐉 Why can’t it go his way? It should go his way!! >:(

🦁 He’ll get all huffy and puffy over timeouts too, but will sit in them and apoligize later

🐉 Taven has some bad days, but isn’t necessarily a brat

🦁 Might need timeout though, which he gets incredibly grumpy at

🐉 Daegon steals all your stuff 😮‍💨

🦁 No seriously, it’s his now, he wanted it, so he snatched it, it was so shiny and pretty!! :D

🐉 ^ This does include Taven’s stuff, which Taven mostly lets slide because he knows he can get it back when he’s bigger

🦁 Unless it’s one of his favorite stuffies, then he’ll throw hands

🐉 I know I’ve spoken a lot about the boys being against each other, but if things went better, I like to think they’re still friendly with each other

🦁 Taven helping Daegon build a fort so he has a ‘nesting ground’

🐉 Daegon helping Taven ‘hunt’ for food (which is more helping him open up the goldfish bag, but still)

🦁 Taven really likes cuddles, he’s just a big kitty, let him sit on your lap 🥺

🐉 And dragons are obviously super cold! So Daegon should cuddle up to you too!! :D (< Both their logics, works everytime)

🦁 The two actually work really well together during playtime

🐉 Mostly it’s just play wrestling, but sometimes they’ll other things!! Stomping around together, roaring, laying on the floor where the sun hits them

🦁 Snack time is very easy!! They both share very similar taste, and won’t exactly huff when they get a snack that the other wants

🐉 Absolutely will steal each others snacks when the others not looking

🦁 Nap time on the other hand. . .

🐉 Taven’s much easier, he mostly regresses when he’s stressed or upset, and he’d love a good nap

🦁 BUt Daegon? He doesn’t wanna sleep yet!! He wants to stay up and play more!! >:(

🐉 But if you promise him some ice cream? Or a chocolate coin after his nap? . . . He’ll sleep for a little bit (two hours, but whatever)

🦁 ^ Chocolate coins are some of Daegon’s favorite snacks, dragons love shiny things!! And this one's candy!! :D

🐉 Taven’s favorite snacks are goldfish and crackers, very simple man <3

🦁 Taven’s favorite nicknames are Kitty, Cub, Baby Boy

🐉 Daegon’s favorite nicknames are Hatchling, Sweetheart, Little One

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I like Taven. I don't understand his character completely, but rewarching Armageddon, he has a funnier personality than I originally remembered. :]

I don't really . . . like these Hcs though. Seriously, if anyone wants a pt 2 or something lemme know. 😭

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

girl I'm so pissed, I was writing the hell out of this ask and it got ERASED!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! anyway--

Heeeyyyyyy~ I'm back on my bullshit 🤠✨ I realized I'm in my independent woman stage and it got me thinking - pardon my goldfish cracker memory - have we discussed what Arthur is like with an independent partner?? He's had to deal with people always asking him for help, and now this person comes into his life who's capable of doing everything he can?! I can imagine he feels slightly relieved but also useless cause "acts of service" became his default love language so now he's like "what am i supposed to do??" - now I picture him all day in his tent writing this long ass love letter nonstop, doodles on every page and one detailed drawing of reader at the very last; he gives them a heavy envelope, nods once and goes to a nearby lake to wait for an answer (all you hear is Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood in the background as he's walking away lmaoooo)

P.O.V: Arthur at the lake

Oh lord I have three things in here, my school and life has made my whole brain explode....

ANYWAY

Independent partner for Mr. Workhorse man? Oh no....what exactly would happen to our boy if that were to happen? Someone he doesn't have to take care of 25/8? But....he WANTS to take care of?

We shall see....

[incorrectmegadethquotes]

-before a show-

Alice: Dave, wait.

Dave: What the fuck do you want, old man.

Alice: I packed you a lunch.

Dave: WTF, YOU’RE NOT MY FUCKING DAD, WHAT IS- wait are these goldfish crackers? I fucking love these!

[clairdeluneandmurder]

A selection of unhinged quotes from my political theory professor:

"Socrates has a tiny ghost in his head telling him when things are wrong. Unfortunately, it doesn’t tell him when things are right so he’s just really annoying."

*Brings a 1-liter bottle of sparkling water to every class and drinks the whole thing during lecture.*

“The flood happened because God looked down at earth and said ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do with this’, and so he nerfed us again.”

“God comes down and asks ‘Where my people at?’ And Adam and Eve are like ‘We done fucked up’.”

“Any schmuck can match their socks to their shoes but the mark of a true gentleman is matching your socks to your mood.” - said because someone insulted his neon pink socks.

“At that point, everyone else would be dead and it would just be Carl Schmidt waddling around Germany all alone.”

Prof: “Is the Illuminati still a thing with your generation?” Student: “Yeah” Prof: “The number one rule of the Illuminati is toughen the fuck up.”

“You can read Hobbes’ Behemoth if you're like a glutton for punishment or something.”

“The neat thing about soup is that you can start with the same ingredients and end up with a new soup every time.”

“If any of you steal my pies I’m going to assume you’re possessed by a demon... I made a pie yesterday. You have NO IDEA how much fruit goes into one of those fuckers.”

“The great thing about Locke is he’s dead. Once you’re a corpse you can be used for anything.”

“I am the crazy leftist professor your parents warned you about. I will make you read Marx and I will say that racism is bad. Sue me.”

"de Sade would be great at being on the internet. And I do mean that as an insult."

Brought a jar to class and put a dollar in it every time he used the word ‘neoliberal’, said he'd give us the money that goes in at the end of the semester. (we each got 3 bucks, there are 15 people in the class)

"Time is a flat circle and I am but a lonely goldfish cracker."

“By a show of hands, who is hungover today? I’ll go first to make you feel better. I am hungover today, be nice to me."

Starts lecture by writing on the whiteboard: “THE ECONOMY IS STUPID”

“Just to be clear, I’m not saying we should guillotine people who open soap shops on Etsy.”

“People don’t get my Simpsons references anymore. You kids today with your sponge bob and anime.”

“If you need help, please ask for it. The worst thing that happens is I send you a super condescending email and you’re no worse off.”

“You’re a shitty libertarian if you accidentally become a Leninist.”

“Anyone seen one of these modern garbage trucks? It’s sick right?! Pretty fucking cool!” proceeds to do an impression of a garbage truck “Marx would love to drive around a dope robot truck.”

"That’s what makes babies just awful. They don’t understand that they don’t always get what they want."

"For how many of y’all does getting stoned and staring at a wall to ponder morality sound like a great class?"

“I once had a student use the topic 'The only way to commune with the aliens is through nuclear warfare' for this assignment, nothing you write can scare me anymore."

“I'm not going to make you read this. It’s 4 volumes, 2500 pages, and mostly about how linen is produced. Moments of brilliance though.”

“I think we should replace the death penalty with public humiliation. ”

"Crude Freudism will get you 80% of the way there 90% of the time."

"I’m going to throw my uncle under the bus here… Actually, I fucking hated that guy and he’s dead so whatever."

"The best thing you can do for your future happiness is to never think about politics. …I say to a bunch of people enrolled in a 400-level political theory class. Y’alls mental health is fucked I guess."

"God tells you not to do the one Bad Thing and Eve is just so sexy that man has to do the one Bad Thing."

"I haven’t worn a 1950’s bra but I’ve heard they’re very uncomfortable. …Not that I’m opposed, I just don’t have the access and I've been banned from three museums so far."

"Course evaluations are available now y’all. I don’t care what you say about me or the class, but make sure you mention how great my hair is."

"Identity politics can be useful, but I think we’ve probably taken it too far since now we’re at the point where Kid Rock is shotgunning 18 packs of bud light on Twitter as a form of protest."

"We basically live in an aristocracy where you can vote. Sorry to disappoint you if you think Joe Biden is a communist."

"Do you know why we didn’t celebrate international workers day on May first? Because America says fuck you, that’s why."

[you-hate-time-travel]

MY DUMBASSPRESSED THE FOLLOW BUTTON FIRST RAUGH ok ok ok buuuttt twirling my hair 🧠🍕 for all teehee or perhaps TT only??? or Lefty too hehe oog but Gravyyy and CB oh oh oh but 🍀 for CB such a cool funker

WAGH HIIII EEL

okay im p sure ive answered these for some of them... Whatevs though. I dont care ill just do em again 💯

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

His general demeanor and relationships for Gravy, TT's personality, CB's design probably, and Lefty's personality probably also. Man i just like these funny guys lmao

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

GRAVY - Snack foods and whatnot. mandarins, goldfish crackers, PB&Js, shrimp chips... yum

TT - SIX DOLLAR SRIMP SPECIAL ‼️ just kidding but i do think she'd love fried shrimp hee hee.

CB - Street food and what have you... mediocre hotdog its beloved. Also eggs (boiled)

LEFTFIELD - i feel like he could like korean barbeque... idk lol

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

lol

[suggahsweet]

Days 30-32 of 66 (Sunday through Tuesday)

I don't understand how I keep miscounting the days and losing track! Also, it's hard to type now that my nails have grown out. The cost of beauty! Sunday I played for my parents' church and prepped for EJ's first day of camp (!!!). Monday was emotional! I got choked up dropping the little man off and I just love how he keeps running back for more hugs and kisses. This morning he calmly informed us, "you can pick me up whenever you want, you know. Come get me after my lunch." UGH so cute. In his little orange camp shirt and blue hat! I've got to admit, packing his lunch is more fun than I thought it would be. (I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually...) Today I made him a ham sandwich in the shape of a star, black/raspberries, yoghurt, a Babybel cheese, a granola bar, Goldfish crackers, and an apple. (Yesterday I was informed that I did not give him enough snacks. He seemed satisfied this morning.) I also drew a little Kirby and slipped it in so hopefully he sees it and gets a kick out of it. Although knowing him he will now expect me to draw something every day, lol.

And, in the meantime, jnils and I are living our best life! Today we went out for breakfast and to the library and I'm about to have my hair appointment, woohoo! Yesterday I did yoga (!) and we browsed Indigo and by browse I mean that I bought the cookbook I've been loving and considered dropping $50 on a super fluffy white pillow for our couch. We are parents of luxury right now! Haha. But of course, I have to dos to check off too! Speaking of, it's probably time to clean the bathroom, alas.

[trivialbob]

Back home after a fun weekend.

Saturday during the day I visited downtown Chillicothe. That afternoon our clan went out to a country house and wedding venue for my cousin Kate’s daughter’s wedding. (There was some discussion about 2nd cousins, or cousins once removed, etc. I stuck with the bride’s name, Molly). This is my mom’s side of my family.

The property had a horse stable that had been converted into a two bedroom, one bath man cave, complete with a huge bar. I want one for myself now. It would be so cool to park my motorcycle outside my bedroom door. I assume Sheila would get an equal thrill parking her scooter there too. Or we could park them in the second bedroom. Those sliding horse doors are HUGE.

The ceremony was held outside, under bright sun and a perfect 72°F temperature. The bride was beautiful. The groom was handsome. Tissues were necessary.

After a not-too-long ceremony we all moved over to an open sided building for the reception. This is farm country. Many of the men had large, fancy belt buckles, western shirts, cowboy boots, and best of all -- cowboy hats. I loved it. I’ll be on Amazon later tonight.

My branch of the family occupied two large tables. We had a great time together. My uncle Bob and his wife Debbie were there, along with Bob’s son Greg and his wife Melinda. It’s always nice catching up. Not only do Bob and I share a first name, we have a mutual interest in beer.

Because the wedding and reception were outside, a porta potty was the closest place to pee. Melinda, who is a little older than me, literally had never set foot in a porta potty. Not even once, not in her entire life.

There was plenty of drink on hand. Eventually Melinda had to pee. One of my sisters told her to just use the porta potty, because ti was close by. Reluctantly, Melinda agreed. Somebody should have done one of those “first day of school/first time in a porta potty” photos. Had I been right there I would have insisted on it!

As I heard the story, Melinda entered, then exited very quickly. She can retain her claim to having never peed in a porta potty. Not even once, not in her entire life. She found indoor plumbing to complete the task.

The father of the bride, Mike, shares my enjoyment of saving money. Note to self: Sometime ask him about pizza-flavored Goldfish crackers.

Along with some kegs and cans of beer, there were wine bottles everywhere. Rumor had it the wine was sourced from the Aldi region of Chillicothe and was not expensive. My cousin Jenny asked Mike if it was five dollar wine. “Oh goodness no, Jennifer. This is the $3.50 wine!”

Frugal and proud of it!

Jenny told Mike she was going to be sure to drink $10 worth of his wine. I’m not sure if that pleased Mike or made him want to put a donation jar on the table.

This morning a group of us ate breakfast at our hotel then hit the road. My dad and I took a shorter but more scenic route out of Chillicothe to the Interstate. The pretty landscape was covered by farms, horses and some three-person towns. We had to cross a single-lane bridge along the way. There was a lot of driving. I’m tired now, though I had plenty of good conversation with my dad.

Below... cousin, cousin and mother of the bride, cousin, brother, sister, sister, cousin, and me! I have two more cousins, but they couldn’t be there.