#i need a loser gf rn

[emonopolyman]

hazel callahan has been infecting my thoughts… no one understands how much i need her. The loser nature. The strong vibe. The way she just appears…. she’s as weird as me- I need her.

This is a Hazel Callahan fan club.

[sapphicyearningbot]

thought about women sitting all hot and sweaty and how their whole frame moves while breathing heavy and actually shed a tear i need to be put down

[ham1lton]

girl if you write lando x assistant!yn, i think i'll ascend. oscaryn was already so good, but lando? would love that sm 🤭 have a great day queen!! 💖

author’s note: i’ve honestly been meaning to write this for so long! so here is some landoyn that doesn’t have lando being a loser. this is a part of my dream girl series <3

liked by oscarpiastri, roscoelovescoco and 1,727,832 others.

yourusername: is this what the kiddos call a photo dump?

view all 50,728 comments

user1: ain’t this lando’s gf??? no way he bagged a baddie 😭

-> user2: he’s paying her atp 😭

landonorris: just died btw

-> landonorris: but your beauty brought me back to life 😍

-> yourusername: ur so lame

-> yourusername: i want u 😍

user10: hottest wag on the grid

hater1: yn dating one driver and working for another. what a slut.

-> user11: and she’s way more relevant and sexy than you’ll ever be!!! stay mad bitch !!!! 😹

user9: the sky is blue, grass is green and no matter when yn posts, within five minutes lando has liked, reposted and commented seven times.

*liked by yourusername.*

user3: i need you omg. the first pic???

-> user4: SHE GET MONEY… HER BODY TEA…

lilymhe: my girlfriend is so gorgeous 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

-> yourusername: no my girlfriend is MORE gorgeous 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

-> landonorris: do you see this shit?? alex_albon

-> alex_albon: you just gotta let it happen mate

user7: yn will you marry me???

-> landonorris: NO 🤩

landonorris: do you have a boyfriend?

-> yourusername: yes i do :D

-> landonorris: can he fight 😡

-> yourusername: no x

-> landonorris: babeeee 😒😔

lewishamilton: did you know that lando spamming your comments is a form of harassment? i’ll cover any legal fees necessary for you. 🌱

-> maxverstappen1: i’ll pay half.

-> oscarpiastri: let me know if you need anything else yourusername 👍🏻

-> landonorris: jealousy is a disease of the heart. get well soon xoxo

roscoelovescoco: where’s my’s picture’s? 😢

-> yourusername: I CANT BELIEVE I UPSET YOU IM SO SORRY MY BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE YOU.

-> yourusername: RUNNING OVER WITH TREATS RN!!!

landonorris: where is my pic creds for the last picture. want everyone to know you’re taken.

-> yourusername: sorry baby 💕💕

-> landonorris: ITS TOTALLY COOL TOTALLY OKAY I LOVE YOU MY ANGEL COOKIE FACE HONEY ❤️😘

landonorris: need you so bad 😍

landonorris: can i get ur number 😍

landonorris: can i slide in those dms queen 😍

-> user8: BRO U ALREADY BAGGED HER 😭

landonorris: thats MY girlfriend by the way stay mad everyone xxx

alexandrasaintmleux: double date soon? 🥰

-> yourusername: yes 😍 me and you can go out and we’ll leave lando and charles at home.

-> charles_leclerc: but then who’ll pay?

-> yourusername: good point… leave your credit cards with us and we’ll bring you back the leftovers x

-> landonorris: my gf is so generous 😘🥰

*liked by yourusername.*

landonorris: bae when are you coming home. our five kids are waiting for you xxx

-> user5: FIVE KIDS??? GET OFF HER 😭😭

-> yourusername: IM NOT A MUM YET PLEASE 😭

-> yourusername: he’s talking about my cats <3

-> landonorris: i want your cat

-> yourusername: OI BEHAVE 🙄 my boss can see this.

-> lewishamilton: unfortunately that is true, yourusername. thankfully jude is still single, for when you realise you’ve made a mistake 💕🌱

-> user6: HELP 😭😭😭😭😭

— taglist: @flowergirl1134 @laur20a23 @greantii @rafebun (wanna join the taglist? fill out this form here!)

[hotseok]

promposal #2

[star-girl69]

giving the people what they want 🙏

warnings: ofc swearing and yes we get VERY freaky yet AGAIN, y/n refers to herself as kk’s controversially young gf bc i think it’s funny, deal w it

—-

you: babe we should do this trend

kk: yes come over

kk: don’t even have to film it i’ll do it for free

you: i know u wanna kiss me 💋

kk: i think that’s obvious

you: no it’s a tik tok sound

kk: ok great come over and kiss me

you: ok… calm down… i’m coming

kk: really???

you: what is wrong with u.

kk: i’m sorry plz forgive me ma’am

—-

you: come over

kk: yes i’m omw

you: amazing response time btw

—-

YOU: WHWN THEY CALLED OFF THE CIRCUS BURNED THR DISCO DOWN WHEN THEY SENT HOME THE HORSED AND THE RODEO CLOWNS IM STILL OM THAT TIGHTROPE IM STILL TRYING EVERYTHING TO GET U LAUGHINF AT ME AND IM STILK A BELIEVER BUT I DONT KNOW WHY IVE NEVER BEEN A NATURAL ALL I DO IS TRY TRY TRY IM STILL ON THAT TRAPEZE IM STILK TRYING EVERYTHING TO KEEP U LOOKING AF ME

kk: is this taylor swift?

you: omg u got it right?? i’m so proud ❤️

kk: i learned from the best 💪

—-

you: why do u have no food in ur apartment

kk: ?? we have food

you: literally here rn and u don’t

kk: me and laila went shopping yesterday babe

you: *laila and i

kk: same thing

kk: i’m sure u can find something

you: i cant and im starving

kk: baby there’s food

you: i’m never eating again bye

you: i hate u healthy freaks

you: buy potato chips like normal ppl

kk: okay baby

…

you: i was hangry im sorry

kk: i figured 😂 no worries babe

kk: did u eat?

you: yes i had to doordash tho

kk: 🙄

—-

kk: i love u

you: PLEASE DONT KYS

kk: what????

you: i’m sorry it’s an automatic response

you: i love u too ❤️

kk: u confuse me sometimes

you: then i’m succeeding at being ur controversially young gf who’s references u don’t understand 🫡

—-

you: do u hate me?

kk: no ofc not

you: are u sure?

kk: yes i’m sure where is this coming from babe?

you: u let go of my hand earlier ☹️

kk: babe are u fr rn?

you: bye u hate me ok i’ll just see myself out

kk: and i’ll just drag u right back in bc i don’t hate u

kk: when did i even let go of ur hand?

you: when u were adjusting the bags ☹️

kk: ok so

kk: i let go of ur hand for one second to adjust the shopping bags i was carrying for u and u think i hate u?

you: yes exactly

you: do u?

kk: i love u my very clingy girl 😂

—-

kk: what is aura?

you: like aura points or the actual metaphysical thing

you: pls use it in a sentence

kk: “this dance is giving u negative aura points”

you: ok translation: doing this dance makes u look like a fucking loser

you: basically it’s like coolness

you: like if i tell someone “outfit gives u +1000 aura points” i’m basically saying like ur fit ate

kk: oh i see

kk: thank u baby

you: controversially young gf to the rescue 🫡

kk: u do realize ur not that much younger than me right

kk: like it’s not controversial

you: can u let me have this.

kk: okay baby ur my controversially young gf

you: thank u very much ❤️

—-

you: stop cheating on me.

kk: excuse me?

kk: i’m literally standing across from u. we’re in the same room right now

you: tell that bitch to back off before i do

kk: are u jealous?

you: obviously not. come here now

you: please

kk: yes ma’am

kk: i don’t even know who ur talking about btw

you: the blonde?

kk: i was genuinely too busy looking at u to notice

—-

you: omg this is so us.

kk: it’s a deer and a raccoon??

you: u just don’t get it…

kk: what is there to get

you: see the deer is me and u are the raccoon and the raccoon is hugging and kissing the deer

you: bc like ur so clingy

kk: unfortunately that makes sense

—-

you: i miss you

kk: yeah baby?

you: please come over

kk: i cant rn babe

you: please baby i miss u so muchhhh

kk: i’m sorryyyy sweetheart

kk: i’ll see what i can do but probably in an hour yeah?

you: that’s too long

you: come over now

kk: i’m sorry babe i cant

you: please caroline

you: i need you

kk: 30 mins

you: i need u really badly though…

kk: 20 minutes i promise

you: caroline please i really really need u rn

you: u know where i need u

kk: be there in 5

—-

[moneymartin]

teen gf Shauna headcanons pleaseee

🐶 - losergf!shauna hcs

warnings: mostly fluff but a lil smut under the divider :p

a/n: i know u didn’t ask for loser but shauna shipman is soooo loser girlfriend u cannot tell me otherwise. kinda messy and trash… i’m so sleepy rn i’m writing this half awake nd lowk a lil drunk UGH

taglist: @deerlottie @ultrone

my brown eyed beautiful baby where do i even start.

def the most athletic yj i will stand by this till the day i die

MUSCLE MAMAAAA

rolls up the sleeves of her flannels so you can see her muscles pop 😮‍💨

not a gym freak though but she works her arms 100%

cuddlebug fosho

little spoon and you can argue with me about that all you want this girl loves to be held

when she big spoons though she’s burying your face into her chest all the time

she plays with your hair tho no doubt abt it

even when you’re cuddling her instead

super soft kisses all over you while you doze off

sleeps after you do just to make sure cause sometimes you end up sleeping a lil too hard and she needs to make sure you aren’t dead

well thats what she thinks.

wakes up early even though she sleeps the latest out of the both of you

when you sleep for way too long she ends up full on wrestling you until you wake up

music geek

she def loves the smashing pumpkins, radiohead, the cranberries, the cure, mazzy star, jeff buckley, pavement, the cardigans. artists and bands of that genre

had a walkman like nat’s that you guys share on walks together

also has a vinyl player that she keeps at hers so you could listen to music with her when you come over

writes about you in her journal while she listens to the music

also writes these cute little love letters for you and she’ll write what songs she listened to while writing

sleepovers all the time though she’s one of those girls

drives you all over the place too

no matter how far so that you know she truly loves you

she goes absolutely nuts when you’re wearing her clothes i fink

esp her flannels

the moment you’re seen wearing one she can only think about taking it off of you cause it looks so good 😞

loves when you wear her jersey too

or her letterman jacket

funny sock gal

wears the one w monster faces on em or something like that

south park socks… hmo

SMARTY PANTS

got accepted into brown for a reason

she’s always helping you with assignments in case they’re too hard

she runs through them so fast though it actually baffles you to how she can do it

book geek too

has probably read harry potter a million times

edgar allan poe is her main dude she def likes poems and stuff from him

genuinely has a momma instinct

before you even get sick she tells you to be careful with the cold

and you don’t listen.

so you do end up getting sick and she has to take care of you until you’re all better

babies you but is also teasing you cause you didn’t listen to her warnings about it 😭 she could tell beforehand that you were gonna get sick

unlike lottie i think shauna has the ability to cook and stuff like that

not a 5 star chef but she’s good enough for you

being touchy in her public is her thangggg

you guys are always touching somehow

pinky holding, interlocked arms, holding hands, her just grabbing your wrist. she’s always gotta hold you no matter whaaaat

not very possessive but definitely a jealous person

makes it known she’s jealous w her attitude

has those anger issues we all know it

is not afraid to make a scene in front of a bunch of people she will cuss someone out for even looking at you

but she’s just jealous cause she’s really insecure :( poor girl my god

she thinks that the people you talk to are better than she’ll ever be

you have to reassure her countless of times so she can feel better about herself cause she’s always questioning you abt it

she loves little make out seshes behind the bleachers

its def the thrill of being caught like she loves that so much 🥸

when she kisses you she isn’t rough i think she’s very gentle actually

caressing your jaw and cheeks so you know she’s there and its not just some dream 😭

loves sitting on your lap while kissing cause it makes her feel like she’s the one in charge

also cause your hands are always in the spots where she wants them without her having to ask

biting…

teeth marks EVERYWHERE!!!

dom fosho but that’s not relevant rn

during arguments this girl is ruthless

not because she wants to hurt you but it’s because she’s always bubbling up

bottles up everything cause she’s afraid people won’t listen to her

but she’ll apologize eventually after if it looks like whatever she said got to you

won’t mean anything she tells you she just gets so mad at everything cause she can’t express herself as well :(

she regrets it so fast too like she’s immediately saying sorry afterwards

def a lace girly

loves showing off her new sets for you…

red black and white are the favs

OUUHHH

whiny as fuck but also holds her noises in cause she thinks they’re embarrassing

PANTER AND GROANER FOR SUREEEE

switch i think

like if she really wanted to she could top you but she’d rather be a power bottom

have you ride her strap or whatever…

its blue.

loves when you eat her out though cause she gets to pull on your hair

makes you talk her through it and when you’re topping but when she tops shes SO bold

she loves when you praise her thats the only thing she wants to hear from you during it

makes you kiss around her tits for sure

thats where she always wants you to be

when she’s jealous you’re constantly asking if she’s okay which leads into an argument

meaning that it’ll probably lead into really hot angry sex from her

the car scene really spoke to me

initiates everything too

anyways i’m done i’m so tired

[the-record]

ICU

SUMMARY: ellies lost her keys…again… luckily dina’s pretty friend has an empty bed

PAIRING: ellie williams x reader

WARNINGS: none?

A/N: i missed these and yall!! not fully back but i miss writing also if u see stranger things content don’t be alarmed! still v much in love with ellie and abs

‘ I FEEL SOMETHING WHEN I SEE YOU NOW ‘

elliewilliams

elliewilliams LET ME INNNNNNNN. JOEL PLEASE LET ME INNNNNNNN

tagged: joelmmm

load comments…

dina_nolastname BAAHHAHA IMAGIWN 

   elliewilliams i HATE you CRY URSELF TO SLEEP

joelmmm 💤💤💤

   elliewilliams JOEL PLEASE UTS COLD

   elliewilliams IM TIRED AND IM VERY SORRY 

   elliewilliams JOELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

jessesucks go to tommy and marias stupid

   elliewilliams why didnt i think of that? oh wait I DID ITS 2 AM AND THEY HAVE A BABY STUPJD HOW DID YOU EVEN GRADUATE??!!?!?!

yourusername did u lose ur key again

   elliewilliams …no… also HOW DO U KNOW AB THAT?!?!

      yourusername dina talks a LOT when shes drunk

angel: ellie come to mine

ellie: huh?

a: ur locked out, im not, my beds made, urs probably isnt, come over.

e: u barely know me?!?!?

a: dina trusts u idc, come over rn or ill pick u up.

e: send me ur address.

“this was really nice of you.” ellies voice breaks the silence as make room for her beside you. you wave your hand, no worries, but she insists. “no seriously, you could’ve let me die. freeze. starve even.”

when you laugh she doesn’t think she’s ever heard a better sound. “ellie i don’t think any of those things would’ve happened.” you smile and lean on an elbow to look at her. “and i really don’t mind, gets lonely anyways. need a loser dork to fill the silence.” you tease.

she gasps in faux hurt, tracing an imaginary tear down her face.

elliewilliams

elliewilliams an ANGEL yall. $10,000,000 for her and her only.

tagged: yourinstagram

load comments…

yourusername bye i let you stay over a night 😭 i didnt cure cancer

   elliewilliams ur right. $100,000,000 mb

dina_nolastname *sighs*

   elliewilliams i hate you.

joelmmm yourusername I am so sorry Ellie intruded, I’ll pay you for your time and kindness. 

   yourusername 😭😭 damn

      elliewilliams ignore him, he drinks

         yourusername its 8 am.

jessesucks oh you will NEVER live this down.

   elliewilliams blocked.

a_anderson you are an embarrassment to society!

   elliewilliams i hate all of u.

e: hey!

a: real chipper today huh

e: didn’t lose my key all week so yes very

e: i have a question tho

a: lmao im gonna steal ur key from u, whats up?

e: do u wanna go to a concert this weekend??

e: i bought the tickets for dina and i but she cancelled last minute and jesse cant go

e: its like 2 hours away on saturday 

e: also do NOT touch my key please i m begging

a: yea actually id love too :)

a: text me the details

e: great

e: okay yea ofc

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams so…

tagged: yourusername 

load comments…

dina_nolastname MRS STEAL UR GIRL 

   elliewilliams SHE WAS NEVER URS!!!

jessesucks GASPING when did this development occur.

   elliewilliams 🤓☝️

      jessesucks BREAK UP

yourusername girl on the left is sooo fine

   elliewilliams crazy, im more into the one on the right

   dina_nolastname yall r EMBARRASSING 

joelmmm yourinstagram Come for dinner tomorrow! Would love to meet Ellie’s pick of the month. 🩷

   yourinstagram GOODBYEEE

   elliewilliams JOEL?!?!??!!!??!

yourusername

yourusername in an interesting turn of events…

tagged: elliewilliams

load comments…

jessesucks GAG

   yourusername this is why dina dumped you! 💋

      dina_nolastname BYEEE true tho

elliewilliams bruh we are so cute

   yourusername okay “bruh”

      elliewilliams WIAT OM SORRY

dina_nolastname mrs. stolen girl 💔💔

   yourusername im always urs bae 

a_anderson wheres MY cute gf damn.

   yourusername I KNOW SOMEONE WHOO LIIIIIIKES YOU!!

      a_anderson SPILL. 

   elliewilliams go away! 💋

a: hey

e: hi

a: come over?

a: please?

e: are you okay??

a: just please come over.

e: im omw right now

e: be there in 10

e: unlock the front door

a knock on your door wakes you from the light sleep you’d been in. a small ‘come in’ has ellie gently opening the door and walking softly towards your bed. her hands brush hair from your face, a kind smile on her face. something you can’t pinpoint in her eyes.

“you doing okay babe?” her voice is just above a whisper, though no one else would be home to hear it otherwise. “tired?”

you hum an answer out and reach for one of her hands, fiddling with her rings and avoiding her eyes. “can you turn off the light and sit with me?” she smiles and nods, savoring one more second before standing and taking off her jacket while walking to the switch.

its still light out, the evening sun beginning to set but still lighting up enough of your room. as she’s getting in beside you, she notices what you’re wearing. “nice shirt,” ellie says with a snort.

its one of hers, you stole it a few weeks ago with no intention of giving it back. her heart grows as a small smile graces your features. “there she is.” you flush and turn away. she coos teasingly while getting comfortable behind you.

when you do turn, shes the perfect pillow. her fingers trace your features as your eyes shutter closed.

e: hi love, you wanna do something today?

a: you have something in mind?

e: thought we could go bowling 

e: that new bowling place just opened downtown, looks cute

a: kinda tired. do something at home?

e: alreadyomw with snacks for u

a: youre the best.

a: i miss you.

e: i miss you too. you doing okay?

a: are you at work

a: im tired

e: i get off in 30 

e: come over to mine, joel will let you in

a: okay

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams bbg needs a NAP theyre grouchy

tagged: yourusername 

load comments…

yourusername i know where you live.

   elliewilliams LOVE YA!

joelmmm Photo creds.

   elliewilliams sighs.

dina_nolastname angel ALWAYS needs nap bro gets really grumpy

   yourusername I ALSO KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

      dina_nolastname see? grumpy.

jessesucks we’ve all seen the pictures she looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL, uhm… and he’s there… (ellie is he)

   dina_nolastname (ellie is he) BYE

   yourusername HEY JESSIE WOAHHH FEELS LIKE A PARTY EVERYDAY

   elliewilliams remember when dina dumped u?

a: can we go to the aquarium 

e: you feel up to it?

a: no obviously i asked because i don’t 

e: OKAY SORRY DAMN

e: god just being a supportive girlfriend and this is what i get. 

a: GOODBYE I DONT WANNA GO ANYMORE

e: no im sorry im sorry im sorry i wanna go

a: YAY

a: pick me up in 30 pls

e: of course love 

e: im glad you’re feeling better

e: very excited rn

yourusername

yourusername finally left the house after 72628748829 years 

tagged: elliewilliams

load comments…

elliewilliams @ the guy who took this for us ur so real

   yourusername YEA!!!!!!

dina_nolastname yall r so cute CRY

   yourusername u want me fr

jessesucks ICK

   dina_nolastname this is why i dumped u

elliewilliams 

elliewilliams a moment for the gf!

tagged: yourusername

load comments…

yourusername OF ALL THE THINGS YOU POST THIS?!?!? THIS?!!!!!!!?

   elliewilliams but u look so pretty

      yourusername CHOKE ily

         elliewilliams I love YOU

dina_nolastname my wife is so gorg

   elliewilliams back off?

      yourusername LADIES LADIES theres enough of me to go around

jessesucks cute ig

joelmmm You found a good one babygirl! 

   elliewilliams DAMN RIGHT I DID

e: hey i love you

a: i love you too

a: u lose ur key again?

e: …

a: ffs come over good god

e: already here!

a: R U IN MY KITCHEN??!

e: ur mom says hi

e: be up in a sec!! snacks!

[boydepartment]

valentine’s day with enhypen

a/n: yipppeeee this has been in my head for the past couple days :3 i am listening to true crime with my mom rn. i also! have been writing that valentine’s day heeseung fic :3

warnings: none- fluff!

4-5 bullet points per member

MASTERLIST

🎀jungwon🎀

- jungwon was a little awkward for the thought of valentine’s day. he flirted with engenes a lot, probably too much! however… this was real

- he had to NEEDED to impress you. so the plan was set in stone, jungwon decided to pack a picnic for you both.

- you might be thinking, it’s february- it’s too cold! jungwon thought about this, and so he was prepared.

- he ended up renting a room in a super high building and set up your “picnic”

- you both had dinner by candle light while looking at the skyline, it was super romantic and jungwon definitely impressed you

💋heeseung💋

- if you thought jungwon was nervous, heeseung was shitting his pants. i’ve always said this, heeseung is not how he is on stage- off stage. heeseung is such a loser (lovingly.)

- however… you are also a loser! (lovingly)

- heeseung decided to set up a game night with board games and video games. he bought alcohol, and a ton of fun snacks.

- you guys ended up cuddling and playing games all night, he held you in his arms and would constantly kiss your the back of your head or neck to distract you.

- you would end up roughhousing after accusing him of distracting you so he could win. all lovingly though.

🌸jay🌸

- THIS MF WAS PREPARED. he has been waiting his whole life for this. he cooked everything himself, he bought the nicest alcohol he could, and he kicked everyone out of the dorm.

- you were excited too, you brought matching pajamas and he ate those up. jay was so excited to share the day of love with you. he was giggling when you weren’t looking.

- every gift he got you was expensive and thoughtful because he listens so well to you. your voice is jay’s favorite sound.

- prepared to get spoiled even when you guys are cuddling watching a movie.

🌹jake🌹

- jake has never had a serious relationship nor was he prepared at all for valentine’s day. however he is a fantastic person when it comes to going with the flow

- valentine’s day is next week? oh no problem, he can get reservations for that restaurant you’ve been wanting to try.

- and he does! he is so lucky!!! now it was time for him to plan, his gifts are half homemade and an activity for you both to do after your walk home.

- he’s really romantic and has a hand on you the whole night, it makes him appreciate the holiday more. so the next year you are going to be MEGA spoiled. especially because you got him a collared shirt with your lipstick stain on it. that made him insane.

🩷sunghoon🩷

- “oh…”

- that’s immediately what sunghoon said when he realized he actually has a valentine this year. HE HAD NEVER HAD A TRUE VALENTINE. immediately he starts researching.

- be prepared for the classic valentines. he makes cards for you out of paper, all handmade, and he slips jewelry you’ve wanted in each heart. then he puts all the hearts with jewelry in them in a new purse.

- he shows up to your house on valentine’s day with a smile on his face. you had completely forgotten about the holiday and it made him giggle. you promised to make it up to him and he just smiles with a simple “okay baby.”

- you’d never have to make it up to him, you dating him, and living him was enough.

💌sunoo💌

- “WHAT DO I GET MY GF?”

- sunoo was stumped, he spoiled you 24/7 what was he supposed to buy you? he could get you that new skincare… or a new purse…? maybe new shoes. UGH! this was frustrating him…

- then it clicked to him. a destination valentine’s day.

- that’s how you found you and your boyfriend in new zealand for valentine’s day. he saw it was beautiful and there were fun little things to do, sunoo was all for it and so were you.

- you both took so many photos and enjoyed spending time alone together.

- sunoo even thought maybe you’d spend next valentine’s day here….

🍓riki🍓

- he called his mom, begging her for help. she wasn’t a lot of help if he was being honest. but he refused to go to jake until the very last minute.

- jake was no help either! what was he supposed to do?!

- one day you walked in and confessed that he had to be prepared for his valentine’s day present because it was homemade and you were a little insecure over it. he felt his heart melt.

- he knew exactly what he had to do. he went to different jewelers and different shops to make you your own handmade bracelet. he made sure that it wasn’t too heavy so you wouldn’t have to take it off. he made sure that all the materials wouldn’t wear over time. he worked his ass off.

- when you guys exchanged gifts he was giggling, you had made him a bracelet too. he felt so connected with you. it was his first true valentine’s day and he loved it.

[s0ftb1tch12]

i may not be able to write out actual fanfic but i can put out ideas that scratch my brain and make me scream into the void

SO

being hazel callahan’s passenger princess and going on night drives when you both can’t sleep

going to zoos and aquariums where she rambles out fun facts on her favourite animals

staring at the chains around her neck so often she notices and buys you matching ones (same thing with rings, even better if they’re from brittany’s jewelry business)

movie marathon dates under a blanket fort complete with fairy lights, fluffy blankets, and snacks

fidgeting with each other’s hands while having long talks about whatever

i’m a FIRM believer in cocky!hazel after a few months of dating. once she knows you’ll stick with her for the long run, she’s not as nervous and acts more flirty (lingering touches, cheesier words, etc)

she may not be able to cook but she’ll surely try and learn your favorite foods (i think she’s more of a baker since baking is kinda like chemistry and we all know how she feels about explosive reactions)

on that note, i do believe she’s top of her class in chemistry or physics (thinking about her tutoring you in those subjects but those study dates eventually lead to makeout sessions)

that kiss scene towards the end of the movie and the fact that she wears rings really inspired me,,, y’all know where this is going probably (i NEED someone to write this desperately because i ain’t seen it anywhere and i’m down BAD)

literally any member of band!gf x loser!gf (i’m talking bassists, guitarists, drummers, lead singers)

those fics with cheerleader gf x loser gf !!! smth i haven’t seen with this trope yet is cheerleader gf surprising her with her strength, carrying her princess style

goth!gf x nerd!gf: her letting you do her eyeliner like yours, sitting in her lap as she lies down (like this 😩)

bimbo!gf x loser!gf: your average oblivious hyperfem with her awkward masc relationship, even better if bimbo!gf wears heels often so she’s taller than hazel who is at perfect height for forehead kisses (usually leaving lipstick marks that she doesn’t notice until pj basically screams and points at it)

hazel carrying a bunch of chapstick or hair ties in her backpack in case her gf forgets hers

thrifting dates because slow fashion is important

as a sanrio girlie, i think hazel would love pompompurin and his little hat

hazel acts kinda like a little golden retriever so she would definitely get along will with dogs but i like to think she’s a cat person, cats fucking LOVE her and she is always feeding the strays on her block

hazel is a tea girlie and yes she does have fun facts about them (chamomile became v important after her parents divorce)

hazel likes simulation games like stardew valley and role playing games like baldur’s gate (she spends hours making her character) (yes this is self indulgent because i love bg3)

she loves handmade gifts; make this baby a mug, crochet her a sweater, paint her a picture and she will melt

soooooo many trinkets on her shelves (god i wish we saw her room in the movie)

she def has a less common pet (reptiles, bugs, rodents [like ferrets])

a bird would be nice for hazel if i’m being honest, she talks to it everyday but especially after a bad day (like when pj dismisses whatever cool thing she wants to talk about at lunch and changes the topic by talking over her)

idk what else to say rn but best believe that my brain will rot again because the gay shit will not be going away any time soon

[amourjins]

i'm having pov!aeri thoughts rn so i'm sharing them

pov!aeri who likes to give little gifts to y/n. flowers, stuffed animals, lego structure of something y/n likes, etc. likes sending them hoping she can make y/n's day better and make her smile!!!

loser!pov!aeri who can't sleep one night so she's ends up being bored, all pouty bc she'a missing her gf, and then comes up with the most WONDERFUL idea to facetime y/n at like 2 in the morning. y/n answering the call, asking aeri if something was wrong and then the loser says "i just miss you" and then all of a sudden y/n is wide awake and all her attention is on her gf now. then she takes a good look at aeri's appearance.

aeri's wearing pajamas with cute cartoons on them, a headband like in that one recent live ykyk, a stuffed animal in her arms (you cannot tell me this loser doesn't sleep with a stuffed animal), or maybe she's building a new lego set she had recently bought.

loser!pov!aeri who -during her's and y/n's secret dating era- gets jealous whenever she sees someone getting a little too close tp y/n for her liking, and going all quiet and sad because she can't go do anything since they're not out to anyone yet. but!!!! she ends up becoming really clingy towards y/n when their alone, refusing to tell her why she's being so clingy but ends up giving in and rambling about hwo she got jealous and that's why she's being clingy.

y/n teasing her for it, making aeri look at her with big puppy eyes with a pout :(((

but y/n ends up just pulling aeri into her arms, RUNS HER FINGERS TO HER HAIR BC AERI LOVES WHEN Y/N DOES IT, and reassuring her that there's no one she'll ever love the way she love's her :((( my turn when

that's all for tonight!!! i'll comeback with more soon ;)

OKAY YES. pov!aeri nd her love language being gift giving + acts of service. like its just “i got you this,” “i built you this,,” left and right to yn!!! yn’s room is filled with aeri’s gifts n her lego sets that she built for her Hjsjsjsslaosjxnxsosis

wait WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT bc yn tetxing aeri that shes getting her nails done n aeri texting back like

(a) — how much?

(yn) - $75! why?

(a) — [apple pay of $150] ,, show me what it looks like after, pretty girl 💕

THIS SONF. (sorry i love piwon) + late night calls w/ loser!pov!aeri n pov!yn,, nd YES the stuffed animals.. literally has a whole setup of them on her bed + her gaming desk.. maybe yn at aeri’s house n she looks over at aeri’s bed, seeing sm plushies n stuffed animals. yn sees one that catches her eye.. (its a black cat that yn thinks resembles aeri methinks!)

“can i take one?” yn would say out of nowhere!!!

“..huh?”

“i want one,”

“okay,”

aeri’s staring at yn confused, yn walking over n taking the black cat that caught her eye!!! (she sleeps w it every night.. maybe cs it has aeri’s signature perfume on it..)

BACK TO THE LATE NIGHT CALL!!!! the pajamas lmfao 😭 on call, aeri’s searching for something and then she magically pulls out a fucking lego set?? like girl its 2am i dont think you need to be building legos rn..

ororor maybe she decides to play games n shares her monitor screen so yn can watch!!! :3 (even though shes eepy n doesnt understand half the things shes doing)

YES aeri getting possessive n jealous whenever someone gets too close up to yn.. or maybe yn interacting with one of her friends!

aeri glaring DAGGERS at whoever the someone (..possibly jake) is, wanting to kill tjem!!!

when theyre in private, aeri having her hands all over yn after the whole tjikf?? saying shit like “tell them to get off of you,” while still being pouty !!!

aeri digging her head into yn’s shoulder nd having her arms around yn’s waist.. oops going insane!

[suddenlymicah]

comments ive made while watching alien stage:

"what the fuck is a clematis"

"holy shit its episode one and the doomed yuri has already reached its doomsday."

"WHAT IS THAT THING????"

"oo. hes hot. whats your name."

"not letting that forgettable background character getting a word in, huh?"

"damn. organ guitar. literally its filled with organs what the fuck"

"his name is. his name is till? like. like a checkout? whatever dude"

"black hair? in MY death game?"

"holy shit yaoi"

"hey babe is it yaoi time. is it doomed yaoi yet."

"hey uh. where is round four. what happened in round four"

"rular of my heard rular of my heeeaaart.... its a good song even if i hate the guy that won the round"

"hey who are you. introduce yourself. or are you just the announcer lmao"

"BITCH ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE MISSING??? leave get out leave"

"mizisua? is that their ship name?"

"ohhh, is that was a clematis is??"

"what was that guys name again?? do we know his name??"

"is that mizi or....?"

"NOT MIZI NOT MIZI I REPEAT NOT MIZI"

"MIZI GETS A NEW GF??? MIZI ISNT DEAD????"

"is that the guy from earlier? is it a new guy or does he just need to rebleach his roots?"

"mizis hair has blue tips? how havent i noticed this?"

"murder? in my yuri? its more likely than you think"

"oh god why is he blushing. dude there is a corpse right next to you and you just got beat up by the girl who caused the corpse. stop blushing."

"wait is SHE the announcer???"

"THEY HAVE THEIR NAMES ON THEIR NECK??? promised neverland ass shit, theyre even wearing all white and get murdered"

"ohh she cut her hair! how is it perfect she cut it in the middle of a fight"

"mfw yuri"

"doomed yaoi time? is it time for doomed yaoi?"

"green hair? is that the round four loser?"

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"

"why he kinda.... 😳"

"what that alien doin"

"yaoi time? its yaoi time chat."

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KISS KISS KISS"

"theyre kissing? rn?"

"THEYRE ACTUALLY KISSING"

"THEYRE MAKING OUT??? HES CHOKING HIM???? WHAT???"

"guys i dont think ivan won. in fact i think hes dead."

btw i cried for like 10 minutes after watching round six. i full on sobbed. how could they do this to me.

[stanleyl]

Sorry for this rant, but I feel like this is the only place to write this. I'm so sick of Tom's output rn. Like the fact that outside of Spiderman and his relationship, he doesn't have shit of his own. I was triggered, but that golf interview that Tom had with this journalist who brought up Spiderman jokes whilst interviewing him, but can we be honest? He was annoyed, but why is he even annoyed? He deliberately has not taken any risks with his career, and so why is he shocked that ppl only refer to him as that role.

I think this is a new realisation for me, but when with that interview and Saoirse comments on his work ethic, I just didn't really care like I did in the past. Like she mentioned, Billy Elliot, the role he did as a kid, and nothing in his adult life is as interesting as that role.

Sebastian Stan and Florence Pugh are actors who take risks despite being in a franchise, and that's the type of actor I gravitate to. Someone who doesn't live in fear. As a white man, this is so puzzling to me. It's almost like he's stuck in 2018 mixed with 2021, where he was the talk of the town, but things have changed. There are actors with organic taste of pushing themselves who want it more and aren't looking to be tied down to the shackles of Amy Pascal, Kevin Feige of RDJ. Two bloodsuckers.

He does those golf things for his Khia friends and family. Emphasis on family cause Dom being there is just loser behaviour. Nikki is the reason he has a his career as his dad has been hating for years.

No one except Twuaine, in his personal circle, is as successful as him. That's always a thing because no one is going to push him because they have never reached that level of fame. Twuaine is different because Tom isn't his only friend. He hangs out with Harris Dickinson and Sophie Wilde and a bunch of black British actors because he cares about his craft. He recently was in Mike Leigh's new film, and if you're outside of the UK, Mike Leigh is equivalent to Scorsese when it comes to value in cinema. It's incrediblely hard to get cast, and he's very meticulous. Tom would never do that and would get everyone to sign NDAs and not promote it at all if he was cast. But if it's Dom's shitty book or his gf's new movie role with Twitter's favourite white boy, say no more💀.

To this day, I wish he never did that for Challengers, I don't care if it was a slight at trolls. What about the tolls that kinda speak the truth about your career? They calling you washed, and I don't know why ppl were defending him. He needs that wakeup call cause he lives in a bubble.

I can agree with you on some things, but I feel like I’ve already talked about this plenty of times.

Playing golf is something *he* enjoys, so I don't think he's doing it just for his 'khia' friends (crazy how Khia’s name became a synonym for that, but I low-key giggled at that part 😭).

You mentioned two actors I think are great examples of people attached to Marvel movies but who are still consistently working on a variety of projects across different genres. And this seems like something Tom wants to do, based on his words, but nothing really seems to be moving forward (it probably is, but the fact that it’s not public info means things are likely still in the very early stages of development, which is definitely something to think about). Part of me doesn’t understand the decisions he and his team are making, why his next step has to be this big surprise, or why it seems like he needs full control over everything. Like, I don't know, but it feels like a few steps are being skipped? What’s the point of all this suspense when it's sending the wrong messages? What's the marketing strategy here? Is he buying time with excuses because he's still figuring things out? 💀 I just think it's crazy that, whatever the plans are, on the surface, it doesn’t look like it's doing anything for him. Taking the lead role and producer credit in every single project might mean those projects take a lot longer to be properly developed because he's 100% involved, which sounds like a privileged career choice. But at the same time, it feels like a terrible idea because it makes him seem like a control freak who won't work on anything he doesn't have control over, which is odd. But of course, I hope that’s not the case.

[oh-austin]

Priv gf but with an Austin baby Lmao I feel like he would come out with knives if someone posted pictures of his kid 😭

I’m gonna make this a part of the priv!girlfriend series, because I LOVE dad!austin and I LOVE priv!girlfriend. Thank you for sending this in ❤️

private girlfriend / part three

social media masterlist

February, 2025

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yourinstagram keeping busy 💙💗

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florencepugh you’re glowing x

yourfriend2 such a stunner

austinbutler you’re so beautiful mamas, I love you so much

↳ yourinstagram I love you aus

zendaya get it girl

↳ yourinstagram heart still races when you comment on my posts 🫶🏼🫶🏼

↳ zendaya always x

yourfriend so pretty

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austinupdates austin via Instagram stories!

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austinfan7 he cares about her privacy and we should too, everyone say it with me!!

austinfan9 Y/N content is great content

austinfan10 two years ago someone fucked up and Y/N said see you never 👎🏼

↳ austinfan9 queen shit

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austinbutler my girls

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austinfan11 austin is treating us with y/n content

austinfan17 he needs spell check badly

yourinstagram 💗

austinfan21 y/n content!!!!!

austinfan24 I love logging on for the first time in months and seeing y/n on my tl makes me so happy

ashleytisdale 💗💗💗💗💗

austinfan27 austin there is one person in this photo

↳ austinbutler incorrect

↳ austinfan29 flowers don’t count 🤦‍♀️

↳ yourinstagram 👀

liked by austinbutler, ashleytisdale and 279,378 others

yourinstagram unprivating my account for now to share some amazing news: austin and I are expecting our first little love later this year. thank you for respecting my privacy for the last few years, I really do appreciate it and I now feel like I am at a place where I feel comfortable and want to share this journey with you all 💗 but pretty please continue to respect my privacy now that I have opened up, I would (and bubs would) really appreciate it x

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austinfan31 MY GIRLS, HE MEANT Y/N AND THEIR FREAKING KID

austinfan36 this is not what I expected to see on my feed!!! and I’m not upset!!!!! Congratulations 🎉

florencepugh AHHHHHHH 💗💐 SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH

austinbutler 💗💗 you were made to be a mother, so proud to be your family

↳ yourinstagram I love you

↳ austinfan37 GUYS STOP ILL CRY

austinfan41 RESPECT HER PRIVACY LOSERS, DONT RUIN THIS FOR US

austinfan44 if anyone fucks this up for us I will actually un*live myself

austinfan47 all the pics of y/n being taken from the back or in baggy clothes makes sense now 😭😭

↳ austinfan49 they played us fr 🥲

tomholland1996 you’re a superhero 🦸‍♀️ congratulations to you both!

↳ austinfan50 says spiderman

austinfan51 I’m hyperventilating so bad rn

bazlurhman congratulations! you both will be such great parents 💗

↳ austinbutler 💗💗💗

austinfan53 Y/N IS BACK!!! BEST DAY EVER

yourinstagram crying at all this love 🥹 thank you everyone

[luveline]

don’t mind me, just thinking about rockstar!sirius and loser gf who begs sirius to teach her how to play the same instrument and she gets kisses everytime she does something right (though, she’s beginning to suspect some of the kisses are just for the sake of kisses themself) and she’s not the best at it (sirius disagrees, naturally) but she can play like really basic stuff. anyway, sirius secretly records it and includes it in a song he wrote for her. i need rockstar!sirius to be my boyfriend rn

YEAH please god. sirius and his seriously expensive rhythm guitar. i don't know a thing about how to play so pls suspend ur disbelief if im really wrong.

he would give you a kiss just for holding it right. kiss for tuning, kiss for learning how to strum with your fingertips, kiss for the pick, a ridiculous kiss for the first chord you get right. and playing a guitar is so hard, requires muscle memory and dedication and your fingers start to hurt and your arm feels numb from the vibrations but he just keeps kissing u and u can't believe how much he likes you 😭

and PLEASE maybe it's an intro where you're weakly plucking out the notes and you have a short conversation that could sound really innuendo-y out of context

"Like that?"

"Just like that, baby."

cue loud and sudden start (im thinking kind of like be quiet and drive by deftones, how there's a hushed start and then his little shudder in the silence and then the song starts)

[fuckhouse2theelectricboogaloo]

I was wondering or not to send this in: but whoever needs to hear this rn is for them tbh. As I didn't have to say shit about this clown to begin with. Anyone who believed his rumor about me still after it came out of all his bs is probably actually an inept fucking slug at that point as much as he is, but I put everything to do my part for the people he hurt and he dragged my ass into it. So to begin? Knowing how spiteful Shep is? I have realized going through my archive: that about 10 months later, that I had made a post I was less active/busy, but that somehow gave him the idea I was gone. I found this mostly to cover any loose ends to the story, but also realized how pathetic he really is. Bc during this time, I had completely forgotten Shep, I was talking with friends, my gf, rping and doing my hobbies and loving life. And that's where the rumor of me being a pedophile started from him in the vent chat and them calling me a nonbeliever and nursing a grudge that extremely for 10 months. This rumor never came back to me until everything exploded, bc he insisted to his circles it be a block and move on and tell no one as he knew I wouldn't have taken it lying down and the fact Shep is spineless to confrontation, I know from us talking that he is. And then never showing evidence and it was that lack of evidence even after being asked I believe if I remember from Star? Is really what made her start catching on among other things.

Yet Shep was that assmad that I found them weird, that nicely I told them it was a lot but internally I thought: even with knowing my gf for 4 years, I found him that insufferable but forgettable and if he talked like this to anyone else? I imagined he had little friends tbh, I actually felt sorry for him to some degree because I couldn't tolerate him even when handling him with 'kid gloves' bc of how much of a little bitch he was and wouldn't calm down and stfu even after being patient with him for an hour bc he wanted empathy in reality. We wouldn't have made it past the first convo if not for that and his past close friend relations to my gf which he USED to get me to trust him so I'd tolerate him more. I also didn't appreciate their subtle flirting I've come to realize they weaseled in the convos (I thought he was just weird, I didn't realize that was supposed to be flirting or getting us to bond or some shit) or weird meltdowns in the week that we knew each other.

So doing all of this after being blocked: if that is their response to me? How they feel about everything and everyone else is probably driving them up the wall. They are probably having meltdowns and crying and I know when it first started they probably did bc I know how much of a little bitch they are when confronted. They'd crumple to me in convos when I told them: 'You're acting weird again. Stop it. o: ' . It took me a total of several hours our first convo when we JUST met to calm them down until I told them to knock it off, they were being weird and that quickly clammed it. In response the funniest thing that made me first notice it was them saying: 'maybe we shouldn't talk.' Me: 'Okay let's stop talking then and block each other.' Them: 'No wait.' Essentially is how that convo went bc again, just trying to be pathetic and a sad loser to get empathy. So Shep if you're reading this bc I know you will from how much you read my blog to find when I was 'gone' but not really? You're not slick, you're not smart, you're obsessed with anything or anyone you want or dislike including blogs like Fuckhouse or ppl you once knew like me even for just a week or so. Then throw a whole ass toddler tantrum when you don't get your way or nurse a grudge for nearly a year bc I almost think you took what happened as rejection from me, but I can't confirm that other than at least as a friend. It's the only way to explain why tf you acted the way you have and how I've seen you be a sex pest to trans fem ppl or kids that let you in though but in general are a sex pest and don't take no for an answer unless it damages your image. But the only thing I'll give you credit for is being decently 'ok' at preying upon ppl's kindness and inexperience to manipulate them the short term. No one thinks you're a mastermind, bc I thought you were fucking stupid when we met, but now I know you're even dumber thinking you could go behind my gf's back, my back when both of us thought you were a friend to both of us even if I didn't want to talk to you. And that if you had just stfu? I wouldn't be involved in this or be aware of what was happening and neither would my gf who btw, was actually angry and thought you were disgusting for doing that all that time when first meeting her to the now. And tbh I'm glad it hurt when I saw your ass groveling to a literal child, bc Shep you don't give a fuck unless it's your own pain because that's all you understand or care about.

Posting as is

[captainimprobable]

I wish I was an artist bc then I could do commissions and get money from that! But I can't get enough money from my talents to keep me afloat now that I'm unemployed. I voice act (for free rn bc practice and nobody wants to hire me yet), I make skits on tiktok (and make like 20 bucks a month), I write (which I can't really charge people for large amounts of money) and I cosplay (but I can't make things professionally at all). Like. I want to be able to post a commission link and feel good about making some money. Nothing wrong with donation posts but I just can't do that, I'm not in dire need and would not feel comfortable posting one unless I really couldn't live without it.

I feel like such a fucking loser, 30 and living in my parents house, unemployed. I have no job, barely any money, and I live across the hall from my parents!!!! And even if I magically get a job soon, the odds of me making enough money to move out by the end of the year are so so so small. And like. I have no skills that will translate well into a job on paper so idk how I'll get hired??? I was a SOCIOLOGY major. I KNOW I'm smart and good with people and good at a lot of things! But just looking at my resume you can't know all of that and I just never get to the interview because "Trader Joe's and a supplement company nobody has ever heard of" is considered really shitty job experience. I'm pushing everything (looking for a new job, changing my medication just bc i cant fucking afford it, dealing with literally everything going wrong in my life, which is A LOT) til after Katsu but I feel this creeping terror and desperation bc katsu is next week. After that it's just. Days of doing nothing all day except maybe applying to jobs. Like right now I'm doing fine but there is a CONSTANT feeling of dread in my stomach bc I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I can't seem to move forward. I guess rn I'll go pack my cosplay for next week bc the only things holding me together right now are katsu, seeing my gf on Sunday, and therapy next week.