#i need a fashion guide thats like 'how to dress for summer when summer is viscerally depressing and all the clothes are ugly'

[rocket-candy-heart]

I struggle so much with summer clothes that finding anything seasonally appropriate that I can wear without feeling nauseous is really a gift

[seravph]

Hi, I didn't really know who to reach out for this question, but do you have any tips on how to find your own unique fashion style? I'm not really looking to hop on popular clothing trends on social media e.g. eboy/girl or cottagecore, so I'm not exactly sure where to start! I come to consult you because I've seen some of your posts and you look very well versed in fashion and you seem to know your own personal style. My wardrobe is very outdated and I would like to update it to reflect the truest expression of myself. Thank you 😊 You don't have to answer this if you don't feel like doing so btw 😅

EEEE more fashion asks i love these thank you!!!! warning this got a lil (very) long so its under the cut :^)

so first and foremost the most important part about curating your own style is to learn more about your body and what flatters/doesnt flatter it. it's learning some basic fashion 'rules' pertaining to proportions, cuts, etc. there are plenty of resources on this if you dont know where to start (kibbe body test, video, video) but keep in mind this step has nothing to do with your weight!!!! i could talk wayyy more about this but at the end of the day, some clothing is just more flattering for specific body shapes - that doesnt mean you cant wear something that isnt perfectly flattering, but knowing your body and knowing what flatters it will make you understand your own style and help guide the pieces you buy. fashion 'rules' arent necessarily meant to be followed, but just understood so that 'breaking' them is a conscious choice. (it also really helped with my insecurities???? like this step is basically recognizing that its not your body thats unflattering, its the clothing, if that makes sense???)

also remember that every 'style' works for every body type. i.e if you want to be a 60s vibe but youre too curvy for shift dresses, there are plenty of clothes in a similar style that would look great on you <3 basically, if you dont like the way a piece looks on you, you can still achieve the same vibe with a different article of clothing thats more flattering. but also umm.... you can just wear the unflattering thing if you want LOL if it makes you happy... then it becomes your own controlled decision <3 live love laugh follow your heart

okay. now that you have that out of the way. there are a million ways to develop a sense of style, and no particular order in which i recommend them. what i love doing is creating pinterest boards for the spring/summer or fall/winter seasons and just filling them with pieces i would wear in a perfect world. i dont mean like cottagecore aesthetic boards, just boards full of runway looks and clothing pngs that i like. i also love making little outfits for characters which can influence my own style. everyone thinks of their style differently; i think of my own outfits as little vignettes with narratives behind them, but other people are more concerned with just wearing things they think are pretty, other people view it as an expression of art or their identity, and other people just want to feel comfortable!!! its all up to you and what youre drawn to!!

one thing that tan france mentioned once was to go online window shopping by going onto the website for a brand you like (regardless of whether its affordable or realistic!) and just adding things to your cart that youre interested in. dont worry about how expensive they are or anything, and when youre done, remove all the items you like the least. and then keep reviewing and removing until you have just a handful of really nice items you really like, and keep doing this with other brands until you can identify common threads between the pieces you like. you dont have to buy them!! in fact maybe its better if you dont!!! and the websites dont have to be like zara or h&m ... go on balmain or chanel if you want, play pretend and have fun!!

re: the last bullet point, i think a big turn off for people in terms of fashion is the idea that you need to wear something palatable and 'appropriate.' its like looking at a runway and thinking "its nice, but i would never wear that in real life." but honestly????? in a perfect world i would be wearing full gowns to the supermarket!!!! if your ideal style is imaginative but unattainable, your style in practice will be a microcosm of it. basically... dream big... dont be afraid to 'overdress' if its what you like!! one of the best pieces of advice i ever got was from my aunt, who offered to by me a plastic tiara. i asked her when i was ever going to wear it irl, and she just looked at me and said "??? you can wear it whenever you want to!!" so true!!! wear a tutu to mcdonalds. wear a bedazzled tux to prom. who cares

accessories, nail polish, hair, jewelry, perfume and makeup goes a long way in developing style. i dont wear a ton of makeup, but just putting some color on my cheeks achieves a kind of sunkissed lovestruck vibe that i strive for. i paint my nails red because i think its chic or bright colors so they contrast with a toned down outfit. even wearing no accessories is an accessory in itself. accessorizing (or specifically not accessorizing) is like adding texture to an outfit imo

anything that advises you about 'absolutely necessary essentials everyone needs' is entirely wrong. there is no one size fits all; i.e everyone says you need one good pair of denim jeans, but i havent worn jeans in two years!!! an essential for ME is a pair of neutral wool shorts, but an essential for another person could be a thick knit sweater or for another person, a flannel. the idea that everyone needs a 'little black dress' or a 'basic white t shirt' is preposterous. YOUR essentials depend entirely on YOUR style. a pair of denim jeans is useless if you hate wearing jeans!!!!

as for my personal style, im mostly influenced by movies, books, songs, characters, feelings, colors, high fashion, and costumes. ultimately, you should worry less about what you want to be and worry more about what you already like. every piece i have kind of plays into some narrative ive constructed, or otherwise theyre all special to me :) if you want to update your wardrobe, dont feel the need to over consume fast fashion (or any fashion for that matter) to do so. if you take it slow and buy pieces you really love, every item will have a story and you'll begin to develop a more stable internal style and they'll last longer :)

let me know if you have questions or want me to talk more about any of this because i really love answering these kinds of questions!!!!!! especially the body type thing because thats such an important but long winded thing i couldnt really fit it all LOL

some more videos + resources about style and fashion i think are interesting:

deep dive into kibbe body types

pinterest aesthetics, fatphobia, and white washing

lies about clothes to unlearn in your twenties

studio ghibli: how clothing shapes identity

breakfast at tiffanys style analysis: the reinvention of onself with fashion

will the millennial aesthetic ever end?

go viral, post #spon, get canceled: how social media transformed fashion in the 2010s

analyzing the "is it a cute outfit or is she just skinny?" meme

[enviedear]

satin and boots → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which draco attends a gala hosted by a fashionable y/n and her elegant best friend. draco learns they love a good boot. and a good treehouse.

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.4k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“that’s absolutely hideous. makes me want to wretch.” lukas groans.

“it’s not that bad..” you say, looking down at the magazine.

lukas scoffs, “y/n for someone who’s been to countless fashion shows, you have zero taste. that dress,” he says pointing to the teal chiffon garment in the magazine. “well that dress should be a crime. and not in a good way.”

you laugh a little and flip to a new page. adorning the page is beautiful spread of satin mauve gowns.

“this is the one!” you exclaim, pointing to a tighter fit version of the colored gowns.

“place an order for it! it’ll come in time for my parents gala! i’ll make sure to get a matching tie.” your friend gleams.

the two of you are gushing over what accessories to wear when you’re interrupted.

“look blaise, the hufflepuffs have moved on from planting and cooking to pursue something more meaningful... shopping.” draco smirks.

you roll your eyes at the boy. malfoy could be such an annoyance for no reason.

“draco i think you’d benefit from a day with us. those shoes are so ghastly.” lukas snorts.

you giggle and tell your friend to play nice.

“whatever, avery. you and your blood traitor parents wouldn’t know the first thing about luxury.” draco seethes.

your best friend, lukas avery, a part of the sacred twenty-eight pure-blood families. not like he or his parents care. that fact, annoys malfoy to no end.

“malfoy leave us alone, i don’t see why you constantly have to instigate with everyone.” you say.

blaise grins at you, “draco you’ve upset the poor girl. you know how sensitive the ‘puffs are.”

lukas gets up from his seat, pulling you with him. he glares at the two slytherin boys before leading the two of you to the hufflepuff common room.

“i cant believe my parents invited their families to the gala. i swear i’m going to kill zabini and malfoy if they ruin my night.” lukas complains.

“don’t worry, i doubt they’ll cause a scene there. they can’t afford to make their perfect families look bad.” you joke.

—

the day of the gala comes quickly. on one of the hottest days of the summer. you wouldn’t have cared if it weren’t for the fact that the avery’s had you and their son setting up the outside for the gala.

“mother, do we have to bring all the tables in the gardens? cant the servants do it?” lukas asks.

his mother, jane, gives him a sharp look.

he quickly gives up on his idea and the two of you walk to the gardens, tables and chairs in tow. the avery’s gardens are lovely, full of green grass and a pleathora of gorgeous flowers.

“this wouldn’t be a problem if we could use magic.” you say, placing a chair by a small metal table.

“you stop complaining! i carried way more than you.” lukas scoffs, fanning his flushed face.

“you’re such a dic-” you stop before you finish, spotting his father beside the two of you.

“hi thomas!” you greet the tall gentleman.

he eyes you before saying, “i hope you can improve your choice of words by tonight, y/n. i’d hate to have to send you to bed early just because you start using you colorful vocabulary.”

lukas snorts as you sulk.

“you two can start getting ready, take your time. when you’re done i expect you two greet guests with me and your mother.” thomas tells the two of you.

“us? greeting everyone? even the malfoy’s?” lukas grimaces.

“yes lukas, even the malfoy’s.” thomas chuckles.

getting ready definitely distracts the both of you from any thoughts of annoying pureblood families.

you help lukas into his grey suit. the suit jacket is asymmetrical and he wears a mauve silk turtleneck under it.

“black boots or snakeskin?” he questions.

“snakeskin. you have a statement to make.”

then he helps you slip into your mauve gown. it hugs your curves wonderfully. the dress is held up by two thin straps and drapes down your chest. it’s a simple gown, but the tightness and texture make it a a sight to behold.

lukas does your hair to your liking and helps you clasp your necklace.

“we look dashing.” he smiles at the both of you in the mirror.

“i must say, we clean up expertly. also, i better get my earrings back after tonight. you stole my last pair, and i won’t let you this time.” you say tugging slightly on the crystal earrings he’s wearing.

lukas waves you off and holds his arm out for you, leading you down the spiraling staircase.

“look at how beautiful they are, thomas.” jane smiles, winking at you.

you thank her and take your place beside the family, beginning to greet the guests.

most of them you know through school, and easily sparked up converstation.

besides pansy, she wasn’t too keen of talking to you.

after an hour you began to feel tired of sparking up the same converstation with people. you were beginning to wish could banter with malfoy just for a change in conversation.

almost on cue, the malfoy’s enter the room. lukas glances at you and playfully rolls his eyes, earning a subtle shove from his father.

“lovely gala you’ve put together, jane.” narcissa says before greeting the rest of you.

“i’ll have to agree with my wife. everything looks immaculate,” lucius says. “and your son is growing up quite nicely. he takes after you, thomas”

as the parents drift off into a conversation, draco clears his throat. you look at him and smile.

“i see you’ve gotten new shoes, malfoy. i must say, you can’t go astray with a good boot. good choice.” you say.

lukas snickers, “although an off white suit? thats questionable.”

draco glares at him before retiring hs attention to you, “you look nice. i almost didn’t recognize you.”

you scoff, “i look extactly like myself, draco. i’m just in a tight dress.”

he doesn’t say anything, but instead, looks you up and down and smirks. you don’t know why, but the gesture sends a shock down your spine.

soon the malfoy’s make their way to a dining table, and you continue to greet guests for a few more minutes.

“lukas, escort y/n to the dance floor for the first dance. and please, do not try any new dance moves you saw at the ballet. we don’t need a repeat of last winter.” jane tells her son.

“it wasn’t my fault.. y/n didn’t practice.” he mutters.

you and lukas make your way to the middle of the ballroom. his right hand envelopes your own and he allows his left to sit at your waist.

suddenly the music begins and you and your best friend float around the room elegantly.

you hear a few ooo’s and ahh’s. that eases the awkwardness you feel about being the opening dancers.

“malfoy has a crush.” lukas whispers.

“how riveting.” you huff, focusing on the steps.

“oh, not just any crush. it’s you, love.” he says, dipping you down and winking.

“are you sure he’s not smitten with pansy.” you say, quirking your eyebrow up.

lukas raises you back up and spins you, “that’s a stupid question, no one likes pansy.”

“that’s rude.” you chastise.

“well she doesn’t know i said it. i think you should ask him to dance.” lukas grins.

the music stops. the guests clap respectively.

“i thought we hated malfoy?” you say.

“we don’t hate anyone. just ask him.” lukas tells you.

before you can protest, lukas leaves you going to dance with leo greene.

there was no way you’d ask malfoy to dance. so instead, you go to sit at your table. there’s an array of foods and cocktails to indulge, and indulge you do.

a boring hour passes and you decide to escort yourself to the gardens. by now, the stars are out and the guests are all inside. you’re all alone. as you walk through the hydrangeas you faintly hear your favorite song being played on the piano. you smile to yourself and gently sway to the beat.

“cant find a dancing partner, y/l/n?” draco asks, poking his head out in front of you.

you shriek and cover your mouth.

“don’t scare people, malfoy!” you say, slapping his wrist.

“oh please, i didn’t mean to,” he pauses and looks up and down at you again. “want to dance, y/l/n?”

you give him a questioning look but take his hand anyway.

“please refrain from stepping on my feet.” he teases.

“if i step on your feet it’s deserved.” you reply.

he rolls his eyes, and begins dancing with you.

“lukas is under the impression that you, draco dear, are harboring a crush on me.” you tell him.

“a crush? i’ll say i find you beautiful, but i don’t have a crush on you. you’re a half-blood hufflepuff.” he snorts.

you knew it. there was no way malfoy could have a crush on you.

“that’s what i said.” you say plainly, allowing him to continue guiding you through the gardens in a simple dance.

“what’s that over there?” malfoy asks nodding his head in the direction of a tree.

you look over and see he’s talking about the treehouse lukas and you built your first year. you smile and look back to him, "would you like to see?"

"i guess.." he says, letting you go.

you lead him to the tree house and tell him to climb up, you follow suit.

inside sit a conglomeration of things lukas and you have collected over the years. there’s a badger plush toy, bean bags, a muggle radio with stickers covering it, a love letter a muggle boy wrote you fourth year, an empty bottle of whiskey, and a hufflepuff flag.

draco looks the place over and picks up the letter.

“what is this?” he asks, shit-eating grin covering his pale face.

“that is none of your business!” you say, grabbing the letter.

“no no, hand it back. i want to see.” he says.

you glare at him, “you’ll just make fun of me.”

“i swear i won’t make fun of you, now give it here.” he says, snatching it up.

he scoffs before looking back down to the letter.

he begins to read aloud, “my dearest y/n, i get very sad when you leave for school. i wish i could go with you. i miss seeing your pretty face all the time. the boys back home miss you too. when you get back i think we should all watch the rest of the star wars movies. josh’s dad got them all for christmas! i miss you so much. i think i like you a little too much now. the other day while i was in the shower i started thinking about your pretty eyes. and now, i’m certain they’re my favorite thing about you. i hope school is going well! i was sorry to hear about that guy that was making fun of you.. drago? don’t let him get to you. he probably doesn’t know how to talk to a pretty girl like you. some guys are insecure like that. oh and can you send those weird chocolates again? last thing, i remembered you liked my jumper i had on the last you saw me, so i sent it to you. i hope you’ll wear it! i cant wait to see you.” he finishes and looks over to you.

“drago? i assume that’s me.” he says.

“yes, draco.” you reply

“i wasn’t that mean to you fourth year.” he insists.

“oh, you were beyond mean. you were a complete git, malfoy.”

he laughs and places the note back in its place. turning to look at he the bean bags.

“what are those?” he quizzes.

“you sit in them, they’re called bean bags.” you relate.

he glances around the room once more before sighing.

“what now, malfoy?” you ask.

“i lied.” he declares.

you furrow your brows, “about what?”

“when i said i didn’t have a crush on you. i do. i like you. you’re... nice.” he admits.

“i’m nice?”

“well amongst other things, but i didn’t want to fuel your ego. salazar knows you have enough of that from hanging around avery.” he replies.

“i would like to say i as well have a crush on you, but i feel like this is some sort of prank you’re pulling on me with blaise and pansy.” you quip.

“it’s not a prank. i wouldn’t go this far for a prank. y/l/n, i’m in some stupid treehut you made back in first year just because i like you. i made sure zabini and parkinson didn’t annoy you or your bloody friend tonight. and i danced with you in a garden of flowers. i don’t know how much more obvious i can be.” he nags.

you raise your brows, “okay okay, i believe you. i like you too draco. you’re... unique.”

he rolls his eyes at your joke.

“seriously. you’re a sight to behold. you’re beautiful, charming when you want to be, intelligent, and you know what you want.” you smile.

he returns the gesture and relaxes.

“but you have to stop being a dick or else i won’t entertain you.” you say, firmly.

“i can do that.” he remarks.

you laugh and pull him toward you. his eyes scan your face before leaning in.

“no way. seriously no way.” you hear lukas guffaw.

you look behind you and see your friend and leo, eyes shooting out of their sockets.

“oh fuck off lukas.” you giggle, throwing the badger at him.

“i’ll leave, i just-,” he blinks rapidly while pointing at you and draco, “that was just unexpected.”

you roll your eyes and wait for him to be far away from the treehouse before you lean back into draco and kiss him.

it’s a delicate kiss, full of innocence. it makes you feel utterly weightless.

“i have to get back to my parents. i’ll write to you though. i hear the avery’s are throwing another party before school. i’d like to have you as my date.”

“your date? but what about your parents. they wouldn’t like that one bit.” you ask.

“i couldn’t care less. at least you’re not a bloody muggle.” he teases, earning a slap on the wrist from you.

“i really like you draco malfoy. don’t mess this up.” you say, watching him ascend down the ladder.

he looks up at you and smiles, “never.”

[andddromeda]

amore a mezzanotte [ part 1 ]

genre: fluff??? some angst bc i ended up projecting a lil at the end?? characters: bucciarati & reader ft. team bucciarati and my irl friends bc why not word count: 3242 summary: a week in summery italy felt like the best thing to do after your first year in university to unwind from the stress of finals and university life in general. what you didn’t expect was to feel so enraptured by one of your tour guides. a/n: i always seem to spawn story ideas from my daydreams lmaooo thats probably why im projecting so hard on all of my fic ;;; also ive just had this in my docs for a really long time (after editing i just like left it alone for like weeks) that i thought that i might as well just post it now so yeah!! (pls forgive any grammar or spelling errors, i got too lazy to really fix anything anymore)

Bustling excitement filled the plane as the pilot had brought it to a rolling stop, people swam into the aisle for a chance to get off before anyone else, babies cried at the sudden commotion, a fiasco that took about fifteen minutes before you could even stand into the aisle to exit. Eventually coming off the plane, you were greeted by the blinding sunlight and the burning heat so characteristic of Rome in the summertime. The humid Roman heat left you tacky, your skin unable to breathe under the thin layer of sweat that was beginning to form. The twenty hour trip you and your friends endured was torturous, leaving your joints stiff and your friends begging for a cold water bottle to chug down. Your fatigued body burned under the sun as you and the friends you travelled with stepped out of the plane and onto the tarmac. But as you stepped onto the walkway that led into the airport, your heart filled with an immense appetite to see the things Italy had to offer, dispelling the fatigue you felt through the two layovers and the long flights. Despite your aching and jetlagged body, and theirs, you rushed to pull your friends along, impatient to get to the luggage carousel and out into the city, wishing settle into the hotel as quickly as possible and to savor the climate and sights before sun down.

Summer was the needed break from a hectic first year at university, and it gave you and the friends you made a chance to have a kind of fun together that never gave itself the chance during the school year. You were all so excited to spend a week in Italy together that staying in cheap hotels didn’t even matter; finding a cheap bundle for a tour guide and hotels kept your wallets sighing with relief, and one of your friends having already visited the summer before meant that at least someone knew where they were going so there was no need to splurge on overpriced tours. Just being in Italy, having your feet planted on the ground after a long, shakey 20-hour flight, you felt the most relief you’ve ever felt in the past nine months despite the jetlag.

Leaving the walkway and entering the greater airport area made your heart swell up even more, excitement pounding at your ribcage, shaking your entire body. You couldn’t pull on your friends any harder as they tripped over their own feet trying to match your pace, shouting for you to slow down and that the city wasn’t going to go anywhere without you. Even after retrieving your luggage, you were bouncing to where your tour guide group was supposed to meet the four of you, your anticipation building with every minute that your friends dawdled. Through the automatic sliding doors were crowds of people holding signs printed in various languages, no doubt the names of the people they were meant to pick up that day. Your eyes darted around the crowd scanning for your name printed in big bold letters, and a group of six men stuck out from the rest as they weren’t dressed in the black suit and tie like many of the chauffeurs were. In the middle of them was a raven-haired man holding the sign with your name printed large.

His expression was serious and his azure eyes were piercing, spottable in the chaos of people, yet you couldn’t help but stop in the middle of it all and take a moment to stare at how clear his eyes were-- like the familiar Lake Tahoe only an hour away from campus year round as it reflected the sparkly blue skies. This time your heart swelled with something other than anticipation; you could feel a heat burn your cheeks, and you convinced yourself that it was just the summer air and some early signs of heat exhaustion. Your eyes couldn’t help but run across the rest of the man’s stoic face, taking in every chiseled feature-- his lips stretched thin, his clenched jaw relaxing, his sharp cheekbones and jawline. Even that god awful bob that his hair was cut into looked good framing his face. It wasn’t until your friends had caught up to you that you realized that you were just gawking at a stranger in the middle of a sea of people. But in just a moment, your friends also spotted the tour group and the man holding the piece of paper with your name on it and began to stare just as you did, even only a little.

You began to walk towards the tour group, as that appetite to see Rome gripped you again, and called for your friends to follow. As you grew closer, you were able to take a better look at the six that were supposed to tour you around Italy for the next week. They were clad in oddly fashionable wear-- one even in a holey green suit-- and were fit and tall. You would be lying if you said you weren’t intimidated by them even just a little, so much so that, at the sight of a lavender-haired man’s glare, you shrunk back slightly when you went to wave to the group. Now in front of them, they towered over you, wondering how your 5’2” friend would feel standing next to these giants. When the man you were admiring just moments before noticed your wave, his expression softened and a sweet smile formed across his face. Butterflies grew in your stomach, keeping any words from coming up. With such a gentle smile, you couldn’t help but think that he had just become even more attractive, and no doubt your friends behind you thought the same.

“Are you Signorina ( Y/N )?” His voice was velvety, sweet, and sharp at the same time, what swam around in your stomach becoming a raging mess of nervousness, attraction, and-- it occurred to you days later-- desire. You could feel that want to explore Italy intensify, only if this man were the one showing you around. You nodded in response to him, just as your friends caught up to you, because you feared that if you said anything, what you felt right then would’ve been obvious to the rest of his group at just a squeak out of your mouth. In your state, you hadn’t even noticed that he spoke perfect English.

“And this is the rest of your group then?” He gestured to your friends behind you, and this time, as they also heard his voice, couldn’t help but react similarly to you: one of them inhaling sharply, you heard an audible “Ooh” followed by a chuckle, and the last you heard give out a comment about how his voice matched his face. You cleared your throat of any lingering butterflies, and to silence your friends, and turned to introduce them.

Your tall, blonde friend Anna, who had made the comment that the raven-haired man no doubt heard, introduced herself first with a bubbly outburst and wide grin, and she wasted no time making a groan-worthy pun that no doubt made everyone, especially the lavender-haired man, roll their eyes. Second was your 5’2” brunette friend Alex, whose sharp inhale you recognized as hers, and introduced herself with a flash of a smile and a quick wave. Your friend Megan, petite and with silver-tipped hair, who was the one to audibly ogle, introduced herself last with a flip of her hair and a cute grin.

Lastly, you introduced yourself. “And I’m ( Y/N ). It’s nice to meet you all!” You gave them a nervous smile, still not over your butterflies, and thanked them in advance for taking them around Italy.

“No worries, it’s our pleasure,” the raven-haired man said as he too turned to face his group to introduce them individually.

You learned that the man in the green, holey suit was named Pannacotta Fugo, that you could just call him by his last name, and that the short girl-ish boy next to him was named Narancia Ghirga, wearing a similar grin that Anna had on her face when she introduced herself. The man who shot you a glare earlier was named Leone Abbacchio, who demanded that you call him by his last name only, and that he meant no harm, that he was just wary of strangers, that it was no problem as long as you didn’t go out of your way to annoy him (followed by chuckles throughout the group). The man with the odd hat (cap?) was named Guido Mista, who said he preferred to also be called by his last name though didn’t mind either way, raising an interested eyebrow at Megan. And the blonde was named Giorno Giovanna, who only smiled and waved. An interesting bunch, you thought, as the leader, you assumed, introduced himself last.

“And I’m Bruno Bucciarati, and you can address me however feels comfortable. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you.” His smile never wavered through his introductions. Your eyes began to curiously scan the faces of Bucciarati’s friends, and you noticed that they were all fairly attractive, wondering how you four got so lucky. You figured that Megan would want a moment with Giorno and Fugo particularly, as they seemed her type, that Anna would love hanging out with Mista and Narancia, as they seemed like the rowdy bunch she could get along with, and that Alex would love Abbacchio, as she had a huge hard on for angsty types.

Even you can just acknowledge a person’s physical attractiveness, but as you looked back to Bucciarati, you couldn’t help but feel something else for him. As if you wanted his eyes on you and you alone. You tried to blink away the thought immediately after thinking it, feeling almost indecent that you would even consider the idea that this god of a man would want anything from you but your money. You turned away from him to hide the flush across your cheeks and towards your friends, suggesting that you all head to the hotel if everyone was ready. To your ignorance, they all noticed you staring at Bucciarati again and the look of embarrassment painted pink on your face and kept in mind that they could have a little fun and use this to tease you later on. Anna had the slyest grin across her face-- you knew as signature of her brainstorming a sneaky plan to reveal who knows when-- as she patted you on the back, and agreed that you should all head to the hotel before one of them passed out from exhaustion, heat, or both. The other two agreed to go to the hotel to rest a bit and freshen up, and you addressed Bucciarati, though not bringing yourself to look him in the eyes.

“In the bundle we paid for, it said that transportation would be provided,” you stated, looking around for a van or any other type of vehicle or just anywhere but directly at him.

“Yes, we’ll act as chauffeurs as well as tour guides,” he began to explain. “However, travelling in a large vehicle isn’t very convenient in Italy so we’ve prepared two cars with five seats each.” Looking to the rest of your group, he continued, “I assume that you would want to be in the same car together, so in one car will be my men and in the other will be you four and myself.” At the declaration that Bruno Bucciarati would be the one to accompany you and your friends in the same car, your heart almost lept out of your chest. Excitement crept up your arms but nervousness floated in your stomach-- who would sit where? Should you call shotgun? Would one of your other friends claim the seat next to Bucciarati for a chance at the cute Italian man? Swarming thoughts occupied you as he guided the four of you to the car and even up until you all had your bags packed into the trunks of the two cars. It wasn’t until the slam of the trunk door had you finally coming to your senses, glancing to your three friends.

“Who wants to sit in the back?” You asked them as they debated amongst themselves.

“Well since Megan’s small, she can be in between Alex and I,” Anna announced before anyone could say anything and everyone else agreed to that, knowing of your little crush on your driver and wanting more material to use to tease you later that night. You caught the sight of a sly grin on her face, finally realizing that the three of them clearly knew, and your lips curled into a sheepish smile, a little embarrassed that your little secret was found out. You agreed as well and climbed into the passenger’s seat.

The drive to the hotel that came in the bundle you paid for was about fifteen minutes after you gave Bucciarati the address, but it felt like the longest fifteen minutes you’ve had to endure in your life. In between the awkward start ups at conversation and the quiet giggles from whispered jokes in the back, you stole glances at Bucciarati when you knew he couldn’t see, even in his peripheral. Being this close to him allowed for you to see every minor detail in his face. The slight wrinkles under his eyes showed the tiredness of having to work since a young age, the faint lines across his forehead showed the stress despite how he looked only twenty years old or so. His eyes looked so clear earlier, but the distanced look in his eyes told you that his mind was somewhere else at that moment. His lips were once again pressed thin and his jaw was clenched. He looked like a man who had the world carried on his shoulders, like a man who was the only one who could. You recalled how serious he seemed when you met him. You credited it to professionalism, but the rest of his team didn’t match it. It made you wonder if it really was hospitality or if this serious look on his face indicated something else. Not that it really mattered to wonder about these things. You had a tendency to overthink just about anything, clearly even a stranger’s expression.

He would occasionally catch your glance, and at those moments, you’d turn to look out the window in embarrassment, cheek in the palm of your hand to feign disinterest. You really should’ve just been looking outside at the city, you knew, but each opportunity to look at Bucciarati felt like a gift, as if he was the real view Italy had to offer, as if that was what you had paid to come to this country to see. Each time he’d notice you staring, you would hear him huff in amusement, going back to concentrating on the road not too long after. And the cycle would repeat, much to the pleasure of your friends in the back watching everything: glance for a minute, turn to the window to hide a blush, followed by silent giggles from behind. You were glad your friends found it entertaining, but fifteen minutes couldn’t pass by more quickly even if the beating of your heart and the shake in your legs wanted this to last forever. After your last look at Bucciarati, your eyes laid on a hedge arch outside the car window which led into a courtyard littered with tables under awnings, one of which read “Hotel”.

When your driver announced your arrival, your friends didn’t hesitate to pop out of the car, scrambling for their bags so they could quickly check in and relax. In the excitement, they completely forgot that there was another car they had to wait for and made their way into the lobby to have a look around. You followed but stayed to wait for everyone else, thanking Bucciarati as he also stepped out of the car. He gave you a smile that made your heart skip one if not two beats, saying that the other car should be there soon so you could retrieve your luggage. He walked around the car and stood beside you on the cobblestone sidewalk to wait as well. You two were separated by only a few centimeters when he came to rest next to you; you could almost feel the fabric of his white suit against the exposed skin of your shoulder, and you could faintly smell the cologne he was wearing in the slight breeze that passed by. In your closeness, you could hear your heart thrumming in your ears, you could feel your palms grow damp, you could feel the redness in your face that you blamed the Italian summer for. But before you could collapse, from heat stroke or something else, Giorno pulled up and parked behind Bucciarati’s car as you quietly thanked God, rushing to the trunk to pull your things out. You said nothing to Bucciarati or his team as you raced to reunite with your friends so that the four of you could  get checked in as soon as possible.

You only booked one room for the four of you, as you could all share the two beds and one couch that the room came with. When the receptionist gave you the room number and the two keys it came with, you heard Bucciarati announce to the four of you that him and his group would also be staying in the same hotel for your convenience. You nodded and gave him your room number on the fourth floor when he told you that they were staying on the fifth. And just as quickly as you had at the airport, you grabbed ahold of your friends and pushed them to the elevator and on your way to the fourth floor, absolutely ready for a hot shower to melt away your jetlag and calm the fluttering in your stomach. This time, they weren’t as resistant, actually excited to get into the room to flop onto the beds and relax their tense muscles. But before you four got into the elevator, Megan asked for a moment, rushing up to Bucciarati.

“Could I get your phone number?” You heard her say, mentioning how she paid for international calling, and your heart sunk to your stomach, churning in the bubbling acid below, fizzling away any butterflies you had left. “Just so we can tell you when we’re ready to head out again.” And he agreed, typing in his number into her phone as you just quietly begged to get to the room already. You saw his lips move as he talked to her, but your mind was elsewhere-- how you didn’t have a chance since everyone loved Megan everywhere you went, how it was stupid of you to think that you even had a chance, how you shouldn’t have hoped for anything because this was a trip for you and your friends to enjoy together, how you had always had that tiny wish in your heart for a romcom-style fantasy where you fell in love with a foreign country, how you were foolish for wanting that. You watched as she walked back, and you turned to press the button to call the lift, all the while just hoping that a shower could keep you from feeling any worse.

[judithsears]

2017 - Great year.

I went to Cuba in April. I swam in turquoise waters for the first time and cried like a baby. Snorkeled in the ocean, danced and ate with the locals, squished giant cockroaches and lived in paradise for 8 glorious days.

I went to Italy in July with my mom. Visited Mestre, Venice, La Spezia, Portovenere, Cinque Terre, Florence and Rome. I ate pizza, pasta and drank prosecco. Swam in the Mediterranean sea with the fish, saw the sun set at the top of piazza di michelangelo, hiked the eastern coast between the towns or Corniglia and Vernazza. It was incredible. I spent one day alone, a complete stranger in a village. Anonymous, and alone, eating gelato at the top of a mountain, sweating in 42 degree heat, looking down onto a marina on the ocean.

I completed my second season of rowing.

I learned how to throw ceramics on the wheel and made several mugs and bowls.

Continued working on my body and my self.

Watched Third Eye Blind play Semi Charmed Kind of Life, live, outdoors, at sunset overlooking the water in upper New York.

My nephew was born in January. He is perfect. And I love him.

I tried desperately to expand my friend-base. It has proved very difficult between the weddings, babies, schedules, careers, money, etc...But I made some genuine connections with some really great people and feel pretty fortunate for it.

HIGH FIVE 2017.

What do I want to do in 2018? I was doing aquafit the other day, floating in the pool with one of the aforementioned friends, and we talked about what goals we have for the new year...

-TRAVEL AGAIN.

-Build and nurture friendships and put myself out there. Stop standing in my own way and hang out with people.

-ROW.

-See my ladies club - S.W.I.S. - come to fruition.

-FITNESS.

-Work on my hobbies in the evenings after work rather than just sit on my ass and be lazy. I’d like to do things that feel good, make me happy and allow a feeling of accomplishment at the end. (ie. sewing, painting, etc...)

-Make my GRL PWR show a reality.

-GET THEM ABS.

2016 A YEAR IN REVIEW

I’m welcoming in 2017 with open arms. I’ve turned 30 and am trying to figure out how to be happy and to better my life. Here are my goals for 2017:

*Travel. I want to go to Italy and go hiking in BC. (I DID IT. I FINALLY WENT TO ITALY.)

*Create less waste. Less packaging. Find a way to compost.

*Eat slower (like my dad) and enjoy my food (and wine) more. (FAIL)

*Take more pictures. (MEGA FAIL)

*Sew wearable clothes. (NO)

*Take a pottery course/workshop. (YES! SUCCESS!)

*Continue rowing. (YES. V GOOD.)

*Continue at my job and maybe grow into a new, higher position or role to gain experience. (KIND OF IMPOSSIBLE RIGHT NOW)

*Continue my quest for good health - physical and mental. Which means eating well, eating whole foods, less sugar, salt and fat and exercising regularly. (YES)

*Continue growing food on my balcony and using it in my cooking. (50/50)

*Travel. (CUBA)

*Travel. (ITALY)

*Travel. (SYRACUSE)

Lets see how I did at my 2016 list….

- Sew something new. Clothing. T-shirts. Dresses. Anything. (No. BUT I did pick up a pattern. I guess that doesn’t count though.)

- Be kind for pete’s sake! Drop the attitude. (No. Attitude is as fiery as ever.)

- Be more accepting of others and everyone’s little imperfections! ( I tried.)

- Complain less. Appreciate more. (Yes, I tried.)

- Work out more. It wasn’t until I hurt my knee that I realized there are other things you can do with your body that are (almost) as challenging and as rewarding as running. (I’ve completed Kayla Itsines full 24 week guide this year.)

- Get them abs. I want to see and earn my muscle tone and definition. (Photos to come soon.)

- Travel somewhere new. (I think the only place I really went this year was Syracuse, NY)

- Grow something new and edible. Grow more edible things! (My whole balcony was food this summer! Kale, kale and more kale. Tomatoes. Basil. Etc.)

- Drink more water. (Nay.)

- Cook new things and try new foods!!! I love food. (Yes. Success.)

- Love more. (Yes.)

- Beat this awful and miserable fear of flying. (Nay. I think it may have gotten worse actually. haha.)

2016. It’s coming to an end. Everyone is going on and on about how much it sucked. I thought it was alright.

I think the really defining piece of my year was moving into a new job. That all my hard work and time and emotional exhaustion paid off in one way or another and I am now supervising the program I started off in. I may not be teaching, but I’m happy.

I began rowing. I was on a team this summer with 7 other rowers and we learned and raced and drank together. It was amazing. Terrifying but amazing. Along with that, I started doing yoga at the boat house, overlooking the Ottawa river. Pretty amazing.

Went to Syracuse, NY for an amazing, incredible, spontaneous weekend to see Rob Thomas and Counting Crows at a beautiful, magical outdoor amphitheatre.

I turned 30. And my best friend and boyfriend orchestrated the more surprising surprise party, and it was so fun and memorable.

I donated my hair for the SECOND TIME! I love doing this. But somehow after turning 30, my hair is incredibly thin now and worrying me so it may not happen again! Hah.

I had an amazing time at the cottage this summer with my best friend. I visited the cottage I grew up at every summer, rode the boat I caught my first fish in, swam in the lake I learned to swim in and roasted marshmallows in the same spot I roasted marshmallows in when I was 5 years old. That weekend meant a lot to me.

So I think I did alright.

2015! A YEAR IN REVIEW

Its that time again!

we are, another new year. It feels a little lack luster right now, but at the same time - I don’t mind. I feel kind of, at peace, I suppose! Content. And I think that is okay! The New Year right now, doesn’t seem all that scary and it doesn’t need to be a BIG SHA-BANG! I feel peaceful and happy and I’m going to roll with it! Also to be noted - I have to say I really thought my new years kiss was so sweet and tender, and maybe thats why I feel this way! I’ll take it. Anyways - what can I knock off my list of things to do in 2015, what did I achieve?

THINGS TO DO IN 2015?

- Be kinder. Do things more selflessly. Do things for people without expectations of getting anything in return. (I’m going to say I was about 60/40 on this one. I think I definitely took strides, but its hard when you begin to feel used. We’ll work on this one.)

- Concentrate on what is RIGHT or what is GOING RIGHT. In life, in my job, career path, etc. (Yes - I think I did this to the best of my ability! Love my job, my home, my friends, etc.)

- Complain less. About everything/anything. (No - definitely need to work on this.)

- Eat clean, whole foods. Less salt, less sugar, less fat. Eat whole ingredients and whole foods. (YEA YEAAH)

- Love more, accept more. (hmmm I’d say.)

- Paint more. (Nay, Nay)

- Sew something wearable. Sew another quilt (#4) (Sewed two more quilts, need to up the game on the SS Fashion Line for 2016)

- Make the best out of any bad situations. (I’d say.)

- Fitness. Find some way to correct my knee problem and work on being the fittest I can be. (Knee is still fucked. Body is reasonably fit. Feeling pretty good!)

- Get on the supply list. (Nay Nay - I think my career path may take a slight sliiiight detour.)

What would I like to achieve in 2016!?

- Sew something new. Clothing. T-shirts. Dresses. Anything.

- Be kind for pete’s sake! Drop the attitude.

- Be more accepting of others and everyone’s little imperfections!

- Complain less. Appreciate more.

- Work out more. It wasn’t until I hurt my knee that I realized there are other things you can do with your body that are (almost) as challenging and as rewarding as running.

- Get them abs. I want to see and earn my muscle tone and definition.

- Travel somewhere new.

- Grow something new and edible. Grow more edible things!

- Drink more water.

- Cook new things and try new foods!!! I love food.

- Love more.

- Beat this awful and miserable fear of flying.

Well.. I’ll continue coasting for now on my wave. Work is good and could open up some doors to a career detour. Love is good. My man human is amazing and as sweet as sugar. I saw a few new places this past year. Met a few new people. Made a few new things. Close friends got closer. My family is amazing and they love me so much - and I am so grateful for that. Missing some old friends, gained a few new ones. And I’m not sure what else to say - so on that note! Peace out 2015, its been a pizza-slice.

2014 - well, well, well, we’ve come to an end.

Am I sad to see you go? No, not really. You gave me a lot of great opportunities a TON of new experiences. You’ve given me a lot of exceptional moments, good times, good friends and good memories. I’ve become a lot closer with some of my favourite people and shared a lot of cool memories. Could we improve for next year however? Of course.

So what did I accomplish from my MUST DO list of 2014?

WELL - lets see…

2014

-Get on the supply list (I’ve supply taught, but I’m not on the list JUST yet..)

-Cook more natural foods (YEA GIRL YEA)

-Read more books (#1 on the list, Wheat Belly) (I think I read 3, but that might be a record?)

-Continue running (and working on my self) (My knee is busted, so no… )

-Help people more - without the expectation of anything in return (Check.)

-Meet more people (Check)

-Play more music, write more music, play more shows (nope)

-Paint, quilt, sew - be more creative (painted and sewed another quilt)

-Love more, accept more, understand give & take more (Check.)

Not too bad. I feel like I’m in a good place. I’m content and believe I’m on a path of success. My job is good, and my co-workers are fun and keep me motivated. The kids I get to hang out with make me laugh and challenge me every day. I’m always learning how to plan better, how to be more patient, be more engaging and to listen and communicate. Kids are weird, but the hilarious stuff I hear them say always makes each day bareable when all I wanna do it be a lazy pile on the couch.

My best friends are amazing. My favourite human is amazing and he lifts me up and lets me depend on him for anything, and I know he’ll still accept me with open arms at the end of the day no matter what. Life is good and for now, I’ll just keep rolling along into the new year. I’m pretty interested to see what its going to hold for me.

THINGS TO DO IN 2015?

- Be kinder. Do things more selflessly. Do things for people without expectations of getting anything in return.

- Concentrate on what is RIGHT or what is GOING RIGHT. In life, in my job, career path, etc.

- Complain less. About everything/anything.

- Eat clean, whole foods. Less salt, less sugar, less fat. Eat whole ingredients and whole foods.

- Love more, accept more.

- Paint more.

- Sew something wearable. Sew another quilt (#4)

- Make the best out of any bad situations.

- Fitness. Find some way to correct my knee problem and work on being the fittest I can be.

- Get on the supply list.

2014

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

So what do I need to accomplish in 2014…

-Get on the supply list (I’ve supply taught, but I’m not on the list JUST yet..)

-Cook more natural foods (YEA GIRL YEA)

-Read more books (#1 on the list, Wheat Belly) (I think I read 3, but that might be a record?)

-Continue running (and working on my self) (My knee is busted, so no… )

-Help people more - without the expectation of anything in return (Check.)

-Meet more people (Check)

-Play more music, write more music, play more shows (nope)

-Paint, quilt, sew - be more creative (painted and sewed another quilt)

-Love more, accept more, understand give & take more (Check.)

2013

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

I’ve been working on my list of New Years Resolutions and things to accomplish in 2013.

Here goes…

*Get a job in my feild - or at the very least take a leap in the right direction. (CHECK. *pats self on back*)

*Paint more. (Does water colour count?)

*Run more. (Check.)

*Meet new people - whether through the internet, group meet-ups, through other friends or mentors, just meet people. (favourite new friends of 2013 awards coming soon.)

*Continue my clean eating quest. The more natural the better. (December has been rough on that front - but the rest of the year has been top notch)

*Buy less. Narrow down my possessions. (I am a notorious self proclaimed “thing-hater”. If I can do without it, I will find away to make due without it.)

*Run a half marathon - which may require me to buy new running shoes. (Didn’t happen… but I did go through 3 months of physiotherapy and therapy-ed my self back to running again)

*Volunteer at Ottawa School of Art - again. (CHECK.)

*Grow plants or vegetables. (Two live plants, thriving in my apartment presently. Tomatoes next?)

*Maintain my pledge to never work another Christmas in retail. (SUCCESS! I spent boxing day laying on my couch. Win win win!)

2012

A YEAR IN REVIEW…

Things to do in 2012…

*Tattoo (before Sept. 11th). (Didn’t happen.)

*Record that EP I’ve been meaning to record. (Didn’t happen.)

*Make a [shitty] music video. (Didn’t happen.)

*Sell some art work. (Check!)

*Finish my quilt. (Double check!)

*Paint more. (Check!)

*Find a shitty job to get me through the winter and then a sweet job for later. (Hmmm - well I didn’t work a lick last winter, but I managed to get an assistant manager position in a shitty shit shoe store selling over priced leather shoes to annoying Europeans.)

*Cook more diverse and delicious food. (Duh, check! Clean eating!)

*Drink more wine. (Check, obviously.)

*Visit Alex in Berlin. (Didn’t happen.)

*Be more spontaneous. (Check. Summer of YES happened.)

*Be a lady. (Hmm, Summer of YES may have gotten in the way of that.)

*Be more creative. (Somewhat check?)

*Design and sew a piece of wearable clothing. (Didn’t happen.)

So not so bad! It could of been worse. So what did I do this year?

*Got my second degree.

*Had my first solo art show and sold art work.

*Wrote A LOT of music. Basically an entire new catalog of songs.

*Moved out of my long time apartment on Somerset and made some big changes in my life.

*Started running, trained for a 10km, ran a 10km run.

*Moved from Somerset to High Street to Lisgar to Frank to Lisgar.

*Summer of YES.

*Endured the most difficult and traumatic ordeal I’ve ever experienced in my life to date. Which has effected me long term mentally and physically.

*Rode a motorcycle for the first time. Many times. Best time - to the top of Champlain Lookout in Gatineau