#i must be getting gayer as i get older

[whoopssteddiefeels]

Penny in the Air

Robin is a lot of things: judgey, hyperactive, anxious, impulsive, talkative, loud- there’s a list okay, and she’s very familiar with it. High up the list is that she is very, very gay (if possible, she’s pretty sure she’s actually getting gayer. She blames Steve for this, as she’s pretty sure it has to do with being able to finally talk about her crushes to someone other than her reflection.)

The point is, she’s gay, so she’s not surprised that she notices first. The Steve-Eddie thing. Because it is, in fact, a thing at this point.

She knows Eddie is gay- knows it like the sky is blue and David Bowie rocks- because of, y’know, the way he is (if she had any doubt, the way he leaned in while calling Steve “big boy”, ew, killed it dead.) Her research suggests this is “gaydar,” but its very unfair, she thinks, that so far it has only detected exactly (2) gays, both men, making it pretty much useless. It has given her exactly 0 information on Vickie.

She empathizes with Eddie’s position. Feels it pang under her sternum when his eyes go soft watching Steve talk emphatically, hair flopping around in that ridiculous way it does. Knows how it must catch in his throat when his hand suddenly retracts halfway to Steve’s shoulder, going to his own hair to cover the aborted movement. Tries hard to not over-identify with the sharp tug he gives there, trying to snap himself out of it (fails because she did literally exactly that when Vickie was in the video store the previous day, almost as if he had seen and copied the mechanism).

The part of the puzzle she can’t figure out is Steve. She’s annoyingly aware that he likes (groan) boobies, thanks Fast Times, and he isn’t treating Eddie like a girl whose number he’s trying to score. That being said, whenever the older boy appears, Steve lights up like a damn Christmas tree. Affection doesn’t have to be romantic; she knows this- wants to hit several of the kiddos over the head with it whenever they allude to her dating Steve- but empathy for Eddie is tinting her judgement, and once you put on the gay rose-tinted glasses it’s hard to unsee the possibility. It certainly seems like flirting. Rearranging his hair every three seconds, drawing Eddie’s eyes to the mane that is his pride and joy. Getting what she can only describe as unnecessarily close when he squeezes by Eddie in the video store aisles or whoever’s living room they’re sprawled in, hands brushing a shoulder, back, or one time his hip under the pretense of maintaining balance. The soft blush whenever Eddie flirts hard in a way he knows can be passed off as a joke. The honest megawatt smile Steve gets whenever Eddie starts in on his usual antics is infinitely more endearing than the smolder he’s learned to use like a weapon.

She usually knows exactly what Steve is thinking or feeling before he does. They’ve got that whole platonic soul mate telepathy thing, and he’s easily the center of her social world. So, since she can’t tell what he’s thinking (other than the obvious but unhelpful “Eddie, yay!”), she’s 99.9% sure, from experience, ok, that it means he isn’t thinking. Like at all. So, what she’s witnessing is instinctive, his body just moving into Eddie’s space because it feels correct, and he hasn’t paused to think about it.

             He’s walking that line of comfortable and affectionate that is ambiguously intimate. Could be platonic, could be more. It would be frustrating for anyone with a crush, but she knows from bitter experience with straight-girl crushes that Eddie must be going insane. And yes, Robin and Eddie are friends, but not close enough for her to open a conversation with “So you’re obviously gay and into Steve, my best friend who I talk to every second of every day, and no he hasn’t mentioned it, and neither have I. What’s up with that?” Similarly, she can’t quite figure out how to bring it up to Steve without accidentally outing Eddie in the process.

That’s the main reason she’s keeping her mouth uncharacteristically shut on the subject. She is not, however, above the occasional raised eyebrow, ok, especially as Eddie’s flirting slowly becomes ridiculously obvious. The man is literally leaning on the counter, chin on his hand, mooning up at Steve through his eyelashes. Steve has his hip propped on the opposite side, leaning into the shared space. How are either of them this oblivious, seriously.

~*~

She’s there when the penny finally drops.

They’re not even watching a romantic movie, it’s fucking Life of Brian, all three of them calling out their favorite lines along with the actors, throwing things and generally goofing off. If she takes the armchair to force the boys together on the couch, she doesn’t think anyone can blame her. If she’s feeling a little smug that they both sit in the middle, right next to each other, instead of taking opposite ends, she keeps it to herself. She might not want to stick her foot right in the middle of that mess, but she’s not above setting booby traps.

Robin couldn’t tell you exactly when Steve’s arm went around Eddie’s shoulder; it was somewhere between Eddie practically climbing into Steve’s lap for a “Biggus Dickus” re-enactment, the closeness and flirting safely enveloped in humor, and Steve attempting to force Eddie to “haggle” for the bag of chips. When she glances over from the safety of her armchair, Steve’s arm is trapped behind Eddie’s head, draped over his shoulder on the opposite side. Eddie, usually a constant ball of fidgety motion, is frozen stiff like he’s trying not to scare off a nervous rabbit. Even in the blue light coming off the screen she can see the flush coloring his usually nocturnal-pale cheeks.

The thing is, Steve had just discussed this move with her. Told her to invite Vickie to movie night, recommended light, easily joked off roughhousing and settling an arm around her in a way specifically gaged to judge the reaction. Which means he knows. No way he hasn’t finally figured out what his lizard brain has clearly been screaming for months (seriously, she deserves a medal. Someone tell her future girlfriends about her stamina), not with the way he’s twirling a soft brown curl around and around his finger. He must know Eddie can feel that. And oh. Steve is not-so-subtly glancing to his right, trying to gage that reaction like they discussed, to see if this is ok.

Yup. Robin needs to be literally anywhere else. She tries to be subtle (insert laugh here), muttering “bathroom” and legging it out of the room, seeking the safety of the kitchen. She wasn’t worried though- odds are she could start playing trumpet and those two wouldn’t hear it past the tension of the moment.

 ~*~

In addition to gay, Robin is also easily bored. She hums along to “Always look on the bright side of life,” drifting in from the living room, crunching on some peppery crackers she found in a cabinet in a way that vaguely matches the song’s rhythm. She would just leave the boys to whatever they were going to do (yuck, don’t think about it), but unfortunately the two people most likely to give her a ride home were occupied (seriously, no thinking about it). She’d held out for as long as she could, really, but if the movie was ending, surely she had given them enough time?

Hoping she wasn’t going to regret it, she peaked out of the kitchen, and was relieved to see that 1) everyone still had clothes on and 2) Steve and Eddie were cuddling. Fucking finally.

“SO, BOYS,” she boomed (remember loud is on the list of things she is), trying not to enjoy the way two ridiculous heads of hair jumped and then shifted away from one another anxiously. “Who finally lost the longest game of gay chicken I’ve ever seen?”

Steve’s head makes an audible thump as it drops against the back of the couch, hands coming up to rub at his face as she rounds the furniture to face them, feeling deliciously smug. Eddie gave up any pretense and buried his face in Steve’s shoulder, sweater and hair completely hiding his face.

“Shut up Robin, go away,” Steve groans.

“Nope! This has been the slowest burn of all time, you guys were killing me. I have to balance it out by being just as insufferable.” she chirped, doing her best Steve impression, hands on her hips and eyebrow quirked.

“Technically, I would say we both won gay chicken since neither of us pulled back. No chickens here. Roosters only, in fact.” Eddie surfaces with a smug little smile, dimples on full display.

“Oh you’re definitely a cock Munson, I’ll give you that,”

“Don’t make me flip you the bird-”

“That’s a bit of ostritch-”

“Well toucan play at that game-”

“I’m so happy I like tits-“

“Why me?” Steve grumbled at the same time Eddie dropped his teasing tone to ask, “Wait what?”

“Me? Lesbian. You? Obviously gay. Steve has been flirting back at you for months you dingus.”

“I’ve been what?” Steve sits up straight, suddenly laser focused on Robin. “I have not. I only realized, like, a week ago-”

He was seriously going to be the death of her.

“Steve. Stephen. My guy. What would you say if I told you a girl had been giving me a hair show, the unnecessary squeeze-by, and big eyes? Consistently. For weeks.”

Eddie starts laughing. Then cackling. Steve went an even deeper shade of red, though she could tell this one was more indignant ruby than embarrassed scarlet.

“Thank you,” Eddie wheezed out, fighting down another fit, picking himself up from where he had slid down the couch. “Oh my god, thank you for fucking noticing that. He was wasn’t he? I thought it was just in my head, y’know, and Gareth always said I tend to imagine signs that aren’t there.”

“Oh I know, you think you have a hard time, girls are so physically affectionate platonically, it’s impossible to tell-”

“Ok. Done with this conversation!” Steve interrupted, standing up between the two of them, hands furiously combing through his hair.

Robin only grinned wider at Eddie. “So, Munson, care to give me a ride home?”

“You know, Buckley, I would be delighted.”

“Hey now-” Steve tried to interject as the two of them moved towards the door.

“Why thank you, kind sir.”

“Don’t mention it, fair lady. Your chariot awaits.”

“Wait, hang on, Eddie-” Steve’s tone shifted from confused to plaintive as she stepped out into the night. And she resolutely pretended to not hear Eddie’s reply before he closed the door behind them.

“Sit tight, big boy, I’ll be right back!”

[minsarasarahair]

Reasons why you must watch Shao Nian Ge Xing donghua (Me trying to convince people)

Its free. You can bingewatch it in Youku animation or Bilibili youtube channel with english subs. Its very accessible for international watchers.

Its ongoing and has already 3 related donghua. Aside from main story, you have the assassins' own spin-off and prequel about uncles' youth story.

Its a must watch if you like handsome characters, and bromance. Like I feel Xiao Se and Wuxin look gayer in the donghua. They have a scene in the donghua that was deleted. It just means it look too gay so they deleted it. I remember watching that scene but I can't find that particular scene anymore. I'm definitely not delusional because they still show that scene in the donghua opening visuals. Its very real and not figment of my imagination.

One of the good coming-of-age Wuxia donghua out there. The fighting scenes are so good. You can really feel that they are powerful characters. If they are a threat or a veteran, that's definitely the aura they gave you.

Did you know the drama adaption used the storyboard of the donghua for the earlier episodes and the donghua's theme song? Meaning the donghua is that good if the storyboard and theme song can be use again. It has great useable value and donghua has established good reputation.

Dark River in the donghua is so good in terms of character designs and compelling complex agenda. They have the coolest character introduction ever.

Xiao Se in the donghua is more sassy, has older friend vibe and has attitude problem. The drama tone it down, of course. His facepalm, the way he squint, his droopy eyes and the way he raise his eyebrows are very entertaining to watch.

They don't force the romance in your face. They slowly introduce Qianluo as Xiao Se's love interest and at the same time they show how the characters have great brotherhood with his friends. I think I ship the bickering dynamic of Qianluo and Xiao Se in the donghua but never in the drama.

The battle of the 3 Princes in donghua is like a cautious chess game. It don't feel like a fight between 3 siblings but more like a fight among 3 ambitious people who know their own goals. Their drama version is more straightforward. The emperor is still biased for Xiao Se so even if they are against Xiao Se, I can't help but sympathize with them.

They have strong female characters. Yes, they are the love interest but they have their own story to tell and can stand out on their own as characters. For example, Ye Ruoyi actually want Xiao Se to join the battle for the throne because she support him even if she's also Lei Wujie's love interest.

The 3D animation is quite decent. I actually watched this before so I can get used to 3D donghua as preparation for SVSSS donghua. As my first 3D donghua, this is definitely a good experience.

Its a good mix of court politics and jianghu politics. If you ask why jianghu play a big role in the story, the King of Langya(Xiao Se's uncle executed because of a crime accusation) is like a bridge to Jianghu and Palace. Since the emperor ordered to kill him, it heavily affected the jianghu because that's like their friend and you killed him so they obviously felt betrayed. Xueyue city is protective of Xiao Se because he's close with his uncle and he questioned the emperor's decision back then that resulted him being exiled and assassinated that destroyed his martial arts core.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

zuko doesn't think about katara outside of how she coudl bring aang to life and ruin the approval from his father.. zuko remembers aang suggestion of being friends

zuko getting a rainbow dance with aang

zuko/aang being sozin/roku parallel Zuko joking about capturing Aang / Aang worried about zuko going off to face azula alone

zukaang deserves more love its way more soulmateism than zutara will ever be iif only aang was older then it prob be the main gay ship tbh i think zukka is very overrated, no offense to zukkas but i just find the idea of what fandom presents of em as boring and it always makes zuko look like the girl of the ship kinda just want gay fanart to look like well gay fanart instead its usually just so.. heteronorative.

I usually don't like to call any gay content "heteronormative" because 9 times out of 10 is just dumb people on the internet misusing a term until it loses all meaning just so they berate other people for "enjoying fiction the wrong way"... but boy, do Zukka fans often fit that 1 time out of 10 in which it is used correctly.

I'm not anti-fujoshi, and a lot of times the "we must not allow straight girls to like gay stuff" is just misogyny dressed up as "fighting against objectification", but BOY, so much of the Zukka content post 2019 just screams "Okay, Zuko is the japanese guy, that means he's so feminine and submissive he just HAS to be 'the girl' of the relationship, while Sokka has dark skin, therefore he must be the aggressive, manly man that never bottoms" with manages to be homophobic, sexist and racist all in one go.

It's the same thing with some Zutara fanarts. I lost count of many times fandoms will want to lynch some poor artist because their drawing of a dark-skinned character has their skin be slightly darker/lighter and thus be called blackface/whitewashing even though the difference is barely even perceptible - meanwhile in come the worst zutarians with fanarts in which Katara looks like she was either drawn by a member of the KKK that is trying to make her look barely human since she commited the crime of existing while brown, OR they make her look so white she can be mistaken for Azula of all people.

I am not kidding. I once was going through Tumblr, saw what I assumed was a Zucest fanart because the girl had dark hair, pale skin, red lips and was wearing a red dress with all gold accessories... then I notice she has blue eyes and a blue necklace around her neck. I check the notes and yep, that was supposed to be KATARA.

HOW does one fuck up that badly?

(Also the Sozin/Roku parallels are objectively the gayest thing about Zuko and Aang's dynamic. Even gayer than the iconic "You're the thing that fuled my fire. No homo")

[kittymaine]

Fiorenzo by Sebastian Nothwell

I finished Fiorenzo the latest novel from Sebastian Nothwell over the weekend.

Fiorenzo is set in a low magic historic version of Venice and switches points of view between the two protagonists: Fiore, the beautiful sex worker and Enzo, his mysterious masked lover. They are drawn to each other as soon as they see one another, but they're both carrying around a boatload of secrets and baggage. They must struggle to overcome murder plots, duels of honor, and an unfortunate bout of appendicitis if they're ever going to be together.

It's been such a long time since I read a straight-up romance without any other genres taking up the foreground, that I sort of forgot how pleasant they can be. Especially when both the main characters are likeable, and you're really rooting for them to get together. I also enjoyed that, while there are a few misunderstandings in this story, none of them are especially drawn out or frustrating. That's probably one of my biggest pet peeves in romance novels.

My one big complaint about this book would be that it suffers from this weird trick of the plot. After a certain point, the plot sort of lurches from sick bed to sick bed. The formula that sets in after the first act is completed seems to be: something exciting happens, someone gets hurt, let's all remember how low fantasy this book is oh yeah real low, okay now our characters are going to sit in a room for fifty pages until one of them physically recovers, rinse repeat. This definitely isn't the worst formula I've ever read, but I do think that it's overused. I wonder if there was some kind of point the author was trying to make or if maybe they were just trying really hard to be realistic with the amount of danger the characters were in? I'm honestly not sure.

Otherwise, I thought the setting was fascinating and the cast of characters around our main characters were also really intriguing. It reads like a much older book, but with much more modern sensibilities. It goes a little bit into the history of castratos in opera, it uses an alternate history setting where women and homosexual relationships are not stigmatized, and has little hints of fantasy creatures tossed in here and there. One of the main characters is also a hermaphrodite (I use that word as the closest one that fits their anatomy, since they don't really fit into intersex), probably the most concrete 'fantasy' part of this romance fantasy.

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes classics like Jane Austen or Count of Monte Cristo, but would like a much gayer, spicier version of those books.

[luffythinker]

i so so so so so love the journey as well your mind OP YOUR MIND

since they go to different schools i imagined while reading what you said Yo if he doesn't live far far away cause i dont know where ketsubutsu and UA are but we know Shiketsu is hailed as the UA of the west it might not be too out of his way to walk Deku to school...WAIT I RUINED MY OWN IDEA Deku lives in the dorms by time he even meets him so he couldn't walk him to school but i think Yo is gayer then Deku just a little (ALOT) fruityer so his gay ass would run all the way from school to visit Deku if he doesn't drive cause Yo is a 3rd year i'll get into Deku being like flustered about dating older by like a year or two jfdzbhjbthd like its not even older but he's blasting out of proportions like "He must be like so mature" and he gets to know him and he's like "Immature little shit, im more responsible one here" in his mind LOL

I bet they talk on the phone all night long. I bet Yo likes to come through his window so nobody knows hes there in Deku's dorm cuddling with his boyfriend. Someone comes in and "WHO THE SHIT IS THAT DEKU DOUBLE???" cause they dont remember him from the license exam and since it's late hours Deku could play it off as "i dont know what your talking about, there was nobody in my room, you alright there?" AND ITS PROBABLY TODOROKI AND TODOROKI IS QUESTIONING HIS SANITY LMAO

Deku leaving at random times cause he's not telling them he's dating someone outside UA and everyone wondering where he's going. Like hes not gonna lie but hes not gonna tell them where hes going. "Im going out." THATS ALL comes back after a date of fighting dumbstruck cause they kissed and he's hungry as fuck.

"I like the scenario we set in the other ask, of them kissing for the first time mid-fight cause it would be hot and impulsive and not planned at all," ME TOO

"they wouldn't know the other was feeling like that. They both realize that there is something there after the kiss, Izuku would spend the week freaking out over it and Yo is like huh guess i do like him after all!" When i read this i thought of it this way, Yo didn't even know he himself was gay, like he was in denial of being gay until he was kissing him. OH SHIT IM GAY? I LIKE THIS??? WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? KISSING ANOTHER BOY?? HOLDING HIM? HES HOLDING ME TOO? I LIKE THIS??? my idea is that Yo is very chaotic in his headspace im sorry lanfrjksndvjfkt

"when they meet again (after 2 weeks cause Izuku likes to avoid it) Shindo is pretty chill about it and Midoriya is like .... ? is that it ? they decide not to rush into anything and just get to know each other better, so their relationship dynamic grows over time."

SEE I LIKE THIS, those 2 weeks are hell for Yo cause he's thinking about him morning noon and night. he wakes up thinking about him wondering why he wont call him or text him or try to talk about this but then again it might be a one time thing but disaster boy over here doesn't want it to be a one time thing maybe? he's questioning himself looking in the mirror wanting to see Izuku by his side, wanting him in his bed to cuddle with im sorry i see Yo as a little bitch baby i love him i mean this in a positive way when i call him a bitch baby.

If Yo finds out Deku is deleberly avoiding him he starts thinking Deku hates him or something or is anti gay or something and he's like "maybe i need to tell him no homo??? so we can keep being friends??"

this situation is so that meme that's like "Too bad your a boy cause if you were a girl i'd date you" they are fucking stupid i love them im sorry if these takes are not what your looking for im half joking half telling you my thoughts so don't take everything im saying complete seriousness.

Deku is the one not questioning anything cause he knows what being gay is, Bakugo will always be his gay awakening and he's openly bi just never brought it up around Yo, he doesn't know Yo doesn't really know anything about lgbt because he's around class 1A all the time and they are the most rainbow fucking people ever including his teacher we are not dis-cluding Aizawa as the skittle squad camp leader. Someone once said Deku's mom she always thought he was gay and was ready for him to come out to her like "whenever your ready you can come out to me Izuku ok? this is a safe place" and when he comes out he's like "Im bi" and shes like "HUH? OK not what i thought but im happy all the same you told me"

The thing Deku is questioning is "will we kiss again? i really like him but i don't think he really likes me that seemed like a spur of the moment thing, we were pretty heated and it was getting crazy. He wants to go back to that moment badly. Poor things decided to stop when one of them pushed their hips together a little too hard in the moment of it all, probably Deku and it was just going completely down hill in the best way but they really should stop.

"could see them working as friends with benefits for a while before catching feelings too!!"

LISTEN, if we agree Yo is the one who knows nothing we can work with friends with benefits for a while like Yo is all "hey i dont hate kissing you we could do it again sometimes if you want" Yo is the shy one, he's the simping one cause hes new to this, he doesn't wanna come off as inexperience but it shows a lot. However Deku is patient with him to a point tho, he can only go on with it for so long until he's probably kissing him for the 17th time in their makeout sessions, he's all frustrated and says "Can we just, please admit we like each other so we can stop beating around the bush please?" and it throws Yo so off his game.

And you know what? i'd even say Yo is the bottom in their relationship like Deku is a switch, he can play the role given but in this situation i can't really see it any other way

Your honor they are a disaster, I not only rest my case i put that fucker to bed, knock him the fuck out in his sleep.

OMG ANON THAT'S A WOLE ESSAY LET'S GET INTO IT

I see the appeal of yo taking him to school / or just passing by to say hi before the day starts!! they totally text all day and call every night, you know those couples who call on facetime just to see each other while they do other stuff? that's them. they call while izuku is studying, they don't even need to talk but just have the other's presence there is so comforting. also Yo coming through the window??? love the chaotic energy this would bring, izuku loves it

I LOVE THE IDEA OF YO GOING DOWN THE AM I GAY PANICKJDKJDFKJF he would overthink it so bad, he defntly googles am i gay quiz at least once a day until he gets to see izuku again. also him thinking deku avoiding him is homophobia is os fucking funny to mekjdvkjvckjfdk he does not know that boy is fruityyyyy, he would probably be scared as fuck having to talk to him again not knowing if he was cool with gay people (but i mean it's izuku could he ever really have hate in his heart for anybody...)

but i also like the idea of deku being chill about it, cause he knows his sexuality so i think he would accept his feelings much better in this scenario, the panic would come to how to tell this to Yo. (also not to go into the rabbit hole of Inko, but can we all just agree that lady is a fucking lesbian???? husband who left and never came back??? cmon lady we know u divorced him because you were in love with ur female best friend i just fucking know it, she would also be like incredibly supportive of izuku, she's the type of mom who gives rainbow socks for pride)

"Poor things decided to stop when one of them pushed their hips together a little too hard in the moment of it all, probably Deku and it was just going completely down hill in the best way but they really should stop." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOSING MY DAMN MIND HERE

AND YEAHHHH i can see him trying to play cool and just agree to keep doing this but mostly because he doesn't know how to act, he didn't get the gay dating rulebook. AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF DEKU SAYING YOOOOO CAN W EPLS JUST BE NORMAL AND DATEKHDJKDFK

i can see them both as switches tbh!! i guess yo as a power bottom, cause he's full of opinions so i assume he doesn't shut the fuck up during itvcjkfdkjfd and izuku is more of a gentle reassuring (but firm) top which fits perfectly in their dynamic

edit: i forgot to add but i was listening to mitski while reading this, and i must say 'i love me after you' kinda fits them a lot ??

[notallwonder]

it's a funny experience, for me personally, to be in an active fandom where the dominant fan-favorite relationships and characters are just very not my thing. I end up doing a lot more scrolling / ignoring / filtering than I've had to for many years. And I do find myself feeling irritated about it sometimes, but it's just an inconvenience. I've been spoiled and/or lucky to have spent so much of my fandom life in f/f dominant spaces. Or maybe this is just an issue of curating my fandom experience. When I was into shows/fandoms that largely centered male characters and m/f relationships, I mostly interacted with fandom on LJ or other blogs. I found authors/niches I liked and didn't wade through the sea of the "main tag". Anyway I don't know why I'm complaining about it, it's just a bit different to peek into a fandom and be bombarded with stuff I'm not that into. First world "problems" and all that.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Stranger things incorrect quote generator (feat. Ronance with Murray, The Babysitters, Ronance and their kids and sadly no random stuff this time)

Pt 7

Ronance with Murray

*playing twister*

Murray: Right hand red.

Nancy: *ends up on top of Robin*

Robin: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Murray: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

(Murray making them canon ✊👑)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray, at Nancy: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Robin, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

(I kinda want Murray to adopt Robin, so that he can teach her Russian)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I didn't drink that much last night.

Murray: You were flirting with Nancy.

Robin: So what? They're my partner.

Murray: You asked if they were single.

Murray: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

(like am I the only one thinking that? With him adopting Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Are you a painting?

Nancy: What-?

Robin: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Murray: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

(Murray is proud but also not proud of Robin's flirting skills)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Why doesn’t Nancy find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Murray: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Robin: *bites lip*

Murray: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

(he would be the dad you could talk about anything really)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Nancy, blushing: Okay.

Murray: It's fucking summer

(Honestly, he found it impressive but stupid)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: So, what is Robin to you?

Nancy: The reason I wake up every morning.

Murray: ...That’s adorable.

Robin earlier that morning, barging into Nancy′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

(Murray asking that question, is so perfect for the Robin adoption AU)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Robin: Well Nancy and I-

Nancy: *elbows Robin*

Robin: ...wouldn't know.

(well Damn)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Robin, not looking up from their book: Really? Nancy, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

(That was him when he had his Hopper phase, but well they are older teens)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Robin: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Nancy I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Robin, very much awake: Uh oh.

(Murray just helping Robin with her love life)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Nancy: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Nancy: Would you like me to tutor you?

Murray: That was smooth.

(It was, Robin would be a stuttering mess)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Did you take out Nancy as I requested?

Robin: Nancy has been taken out, yes.

Murray: You have my grat-

Robin: It was a great restaurant.

Robin: We had a romantic candlelit dinner.

Robin: Nancy proposed afterwards- we’re filing the wedding papers.

(Murray and Robin being Russians spies AU)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: And now for a gay update with Robin and Nancy.

Nancy: Getting gayer.

Murray: Thank you, Nancy.

(They are getting gayer every second)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *yawns*

Nancy: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Robin: Then you must be exhuasted.

Murray: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

(Single Dad Murray finally being fed up that they are flirting all the time)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?

Nancy: *raises hand*

Murray: *puts their hand down*

(He knows what you are, Nancy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Did Nancy just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Murray: Yeah, they did.

Robin: And did I just do finger guns back?

Murray: Yeah, you did.

(Father-Daughter bonding. Also oof)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: This totally sucks, man.

Nancy: This is horrible.

Murray: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Nancy: No, it’s not that, it’s Robin.

Nancy: It’s just like, I can’t get them out of my head and every time I look at them I have this pains in my chest, and I just know it’s their fault, that bitch!

(Nancy doesn't know that Murray adopted Robin, also I'm not sure how he would reacted to the 'that bitch' part)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Murray: Hey, Nancy, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Nancy: Yeah.

Murray: And you, Robin?

Robin: Umm... yes?

Murray: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Robin: Did they just-

(Nancy probably thought she was gonna be invited to dinner or smth, but she got something better)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[The Babysitters]

Argyle: Hey Nancy, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Argyle: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Nancy: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Nancy: The fucking satisfaction.

(He tried, he tried, but you can't Rickroll her)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: *holds a gun out to Eddie*

Eddie: I-I don't believe in guns.

Nancy: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

(I feel like Eddie fits the best here? Idk why)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: I’m in love with you.

Steve: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Eddie: I know.

Steve: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

(Fruity Four or Six smth... I forgot the name when you add Jargyle, definitely had a prank war)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*the TV is freaking out*

Jonathan: Don’t worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.

*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*

Jonathan: Yeah, that didn’t work with my grandma either.

(And I oop-)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: We both look very handsome tonight.

Eddie: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Steve: I couldn't take that chance.

(I feel like eitherway it would fit)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: *looks at Argyle*

Jonathan: Baby boy. Baby.

Jonathan: *looks at Steve*

Jonathan: Evil.

(I just liked the Baby boy. Baby. Part for Argyle, no Steve hate lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan They couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.

Argyle: That's not true! I found my way out of a paper bag yesterday!

(good job Argyle! 😃)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Why is Jonathan crying on the floor?

Nancy: They're drunk.

Robin: And?

Nancy: They saw a picture of Argyle's spouse.

Robin: But they're Argyle's spouse.

Nancy: I know.

(jargyle 😌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*

Robin: *standing on the roof* Bless you.

Steve: God?!

(She would honestly do this for weeks, but in different ways)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Robin: Hey, Eddie.

Eddie: GODDAMNIT!

(Robin when she dies in S5 (which she probably hopefully won't) and going to the same place as Eddie 🙂)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein.

Robin: Can I go to the bathroom?

Jonathan, in the same horrible German accent: Nein!

(I just loved this quote, because I'm German lol, and how can one have a horrible accent with 'Nein', it's just 9 in English lol)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan, at Steve: You're my significant other.

Steve: Yeah I am!

Jonathan, at Robin: You're my child.

Robin: Yes boss.

Jonathan, at Eddie: You're my bitch.

Eddie: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jonathan, at Argyle: My bestie.

Argyle: Naturally.

Jonathan, Nancy: HA, GAY!

Nancy: Fuck you.

(Stonathan ig, but I find the Nancy part funny 😂 Jargyle are canonly Besties rn so perfect 💅, idk what to say about the other parts)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Nancy: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since your speech, then I guess we are.

(do I need to explain 🤨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

(They boy who died, come to live 👃)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Where are you going?

Robin: Hell, eventually.

(reminds me of that person who accidentally came out that way, which was iconic btw)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Jonathan. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Jonathan!

Steve: Nope.

Robin: In that case, as the archbishop of Steve's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Jonathan right on the lips!!!

(Stonathan ig. But I love that Robin is the archbishop of Steve's fully awakened gaydom)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: *angrily presses Robin against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Robin: ...

Robin: Are we about to kiss-

(um no... Why?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: So how’s the food Eddie made?

Jonathan: It's great! Compliments to them.

Steve: *goes to the kitchen*

Steve: You're adorable.

Eddie: *blushes*

(this quote is so cute to me)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: I put the pun in punishment.

Eddie: I put the top in unstoppable.

Steve: I put the cute in execute.

Robin: I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Nancy: I put the ass in class.

Argyle: I put the D in Jonathan.

(I-... Damn Argyle... Also Robin 😎)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Steve and I got married!!

Eddie: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

(Either he jealous or teasing people who date Steve)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Steve and Robin's convo?

Eddie: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Nancy: I'm in the washing machine.

Jonathan: I'm in the closet.

Eddie: We accept you Jonathan. <3

Jonathan: No I'm literally in the closet.

Eddie: Love is love. <3

(it should have been the bathroom)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Steve, points at Nancy: Married a lesbian. (It's Robin)

Steve, points at Jonathan: Left a man at the altar.

Steve, points at Argyle: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Steve, points at Robin: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Steve, points at Eddie: Lives in a box!

(seems accurate enough)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Here comes the lightning!

Argyle, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.

Eddie: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

(They would have loved each other)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Blue M&Ms are the best.

Steve: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?

Robin: What about it? They are.

Steve: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!

Steve: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!

Robin: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!

Nancy: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.

Argyle: I like the yellow ones.

Robin and Steve: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

(How dare you yell at Arygle 😑)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Steve's birthday invitations.

Jonathan: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Robin: "Steve's birthday".

Jonathan: So, what do they say instead?

Robin: "Steve’s bi".

Jonathan:

Jonathan: Works out either way.

(Yep)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: I feel like doing something stupid.

Argyle: I’m stupid, do me.

(Wel you said it yourself Jonathan, do something stupid)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.

Argyle: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.

(Thank you)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Do you want to know your gay name?

Jonathan: My... my gay name?

Argyle: Yeah, it's your first name-

Jonathan: Haha. Very funny Argyle-

Argyle: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Jonathan: Oh- oh my god.

(Jargyle ❤️✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Look, Jonathan! It's the good Kush!

Jonathan: It's the dollar store, how good can it be?

(I can hear them say that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: That's ridiculous, Nancy doesn't have a crush on me.

Jonathan: Yes they do.

Argyle: Yes they do.

Nancy: Yes I do.

(You heard it here first folks, Nancy has a crush on Robin)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: *makes Robin a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Robin: *sips tea*

Nancy:

Robin: *finishes tea*

Nancy: Didn't it taste bad?

Robin: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Nancy, tearing up: Oh, okay.

(Nancy wanted to prank Robin, it failed successfully tho)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: You remind me of the ocean.

Nancy: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Jonathan: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

("That I'll never love a boy, the way I love the ocean" is so much more fitting now, thank you Jonathan)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Steve: You and me!

Robin: *tearing up* Ok.

(They are such an iconic duo 🙏✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Eddie: What’s up your ass this morning!

Steve: *walks in* ...Hey.

Eddie: Hmm… nevermind.

Jonathan: WAIT NO!

(Well Damn)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about european countries so who's the REAL winner here.

(You are, Robin 😌)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Okay, what does A stand for?

Robin: Arson.

Nancy: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

Robin: Barson.

Steve: *laughter*

Nancy: What stands for C?

Robin: Commit arson.

Steve: Oooo.

Nancy: D!

Robin: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

Steve: *more laughter*

(I love this one so much)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[Ronance and their kids]

Max: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Robin’*

Will: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

(She would write notes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Robin and I are dating.

Robin, Will, Erica, and Max: *gasp*

Nancy: Robin, why are you surprised?!

(Erica probably knew, Max hat her suspicion and Will didn't believe other gay people exist)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*Nancy and Max looking at a locked gate into a park*

Nancy: Aw. :(

Max: You know what they say.

Nancy: Please don’t-

Max: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Nancy: Frick-

(yes >:3)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: Are we really going to let Robin keep Will?

Nancy: We kept Max.

(They are collecting the Gays)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*

Will: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.*

Will: *Finds tortilla chips.*

Erica , to Lucas: See, they know what they're here for. They know what they're doing. Be more like them. Make a decision, Lucas!

(siblings ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Will: Oh. We're going out?

Robin: Wh...

(That's when Robin told a very long speech about why Will is amazing and everyone should love him)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Robin, used to Lucas being dumb: Sure...

Lucas: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Robin: Okay?

Lucas: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Robin:

Lucas: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Robin: Jesus, that one is a little-

Will, interested: No, no, Lucas, keep going.

(Robin be acting like she wouldn't say the same stuff)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Robin: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

(the Soccer thing)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Lucas: Cannibalism.

Will: *confused chewing noises*

(the Byers are Cinnamon rolls who could kill you)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: What are your three best qualities?

Lucas: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.

(Lucas Apprication 🥺🙏✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica : Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.

Robin: Thanks, Erica!

Erica : It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.

(it was just the facts)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Nancy: *upends the bottle*

(I can hear the sound)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: I think I need a hug...

Will: Good thing I'm hug shaped!

*45 minutes later*

Nancy: You... you can let go now.

Will: No, I absolutely cannot.

(everyone needs a will hug)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: ARE YOU-

Erica : Fucking.

Will: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Erica : Fucking.

Will: IDIOT!

Nancy: …What was that?

Erica : Lucas banned Will from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

(Erica would definitely do that, but Will also had to pay her to do it, she a business lady)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Nancy: Several traffic violations.

Lucas: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Erica : Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Robin: Also, that’s not our car.

(Max Appreciation 🥺✨🙏)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Are you having another depressive episode?

Max: A depressive episode?

Max: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

(imma just let this stand here)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Uh, Nancy? Max is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.

Nancy: What?

Erica : I think they meant, Max is drowning.

Nancy: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile*

Max: *is drowning*

Robin: OH MY GOD, MAX! KEEP SWIMMING!

Max: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Robin: MAX!

(well I guess Sadie's characters sank)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.

Erica : I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.

Robin: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.

Lucas: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.

Max: Looks like someone's a HO.

Erica : NaBrO.

Nancy: I'm done with all of you!

(I love this quote very much 🥺 Also, Erica being a nerd 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Lucas: And atoms never touch each other.

Lucas: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

(the kid was Jason)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

Erica : You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

Robin: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

Lucas: What about Max? Nobody ever suspects Max!

Max: Well what about Nancy? They have a gun!

Nancy: Erica has a knife.

Erica : Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Lucas in the arm*

(Sibling love. Nancy and guns 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Hey, let’s mess with Robin, guys!

Lucas: Hey, Robin, your momma so fat-

Robin: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Erica : Well, uh- your dad-

Robin: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Lucas: The fuck-

Nancy: Well then...

Max: Stop, Nancy!

Nancy: Your grandparents so-

Robin: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Robin: You cannot best me, mortals.

(Gasp, we finally have some info about her family)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

(the Vecna Symptoms 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Max a little bit.

Will, holding Lucas's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Lucas: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Will: My mistake.

(just a little)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I am in charge of this disaster!

Max: I have a name, you know.

(then max got a speech about how she is loved while still being a disaster, because Robin is also a disaster)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Nancy: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

(If that's not how Robin comes out in S5 to Nancy, I don't want it)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: Lucas, I need some advice.

Lucas: You need advice from ME?

Erica: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

(I wonder why)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin, throwing their head into Nancy's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Nancy, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

(affectionately)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.

Erica & Max:

Erica: Only one...?

(This is funny)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Can I ask a dumb question?

Erica: Better than anyone I know.

(I love them)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

(it's the duffers. And also, Give👏Will👏A👏Gun👏)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done?

Erica: *sighs*

Erica: I killed a man.

(Damn, I didn't know you could act straight like that, how far were you in the closet?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: We all have our demons.

Lucas, grabbing Erica: This one’s mine.

(I love this, i love them)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Erica: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.

Robin: The whole “childhood wonder” stage just blew right past you, didn’t it?

(Erica is too smart for that shit)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Where are your parents?

Robin: What are parents?

Lucas: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

(Lucas S3 trying to start a conversation, when Robin was sitting next to Max by the ambulance or smth and he was standing in front of them)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Max: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Will: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Robin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Nancy: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

(seems accurate)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hope you liked it.

Now I just need to mention the Murray adopts Robin AU again, because it just gives be those good vibes

Also anyone have a Ronance fic where Robin is a Russian Spy?

Anyway, lots of love ✨🥺❤️🙏

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 2 “Emergency Shower” [Episode List] Full of fiber-bars gas, Dave has a date with his girlfriend Dana but he’s late. Since he forgot his house-keys, he needs a place to take a shower as quickly as possible. Tim is obviously the nearest friend available…

Emergency Shower

“Sure, Dana!”

Dave said, sporting the fakest grin ever.

He was on the phone with his girlfriend, a pretty cool girl.

“I’ll be ready in less than 2 hours. As you wish…” he chuckled. “Of course I didn’t forget about your cousin’s birthday!” that was a spectacular lie. “Alright, alright… love ya…”

The moment he hang up, he put both his hands on his face and a muffled scream came out, earning some funny looks by his mostly older (and supposedly wiser) gym cliques.

“Someone’s not gonna get laid tonight” they bursted into a friendly laugh, mocking him.

“Really funny” he said, in a deadpan tone. “But for your information, here in my backpack I have a completely functional EFC: Emergency Formal Clothing”

“That sounds gay” one of them commented, sarcastically, scratching his beard.

Dave rolled his eyes and pulled off his white, sweat-soaked t-shirt, ready to take a shower, revealing the decent figure of his body. He wasn’t that ripped, but he was getting fitter in the last couple of months. He was going to remove his blue gym shorts too, ready to wash every inch of his body.

“One quick shower and I’ll be ready for tonight.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible…” a gym employee interrupted his hopeful remark. “Something clogged our pipes just now. You have to shower at your respective houses… or barns…” he hissed, glaring at one particular rude, half-naked old man biting his finger toes.

Dave felt his stomach rumbling in anger, not just because of the gas caused by the fiber bars he ate the whole day.

“That’s ridiculous” he shouted. “That doesn’t even make sense! There must be a shower that works! We’re all paying costumers here! We deserve at least one working shower.”

One of the older gym cliques let out a rasping cackle. “I guess we have to shower together, all at once!”

“Ain’t gonna get gayer than that!” another one remarked, elbowing Dave, who again rolled his eyes.

They all laughed and dressed up; Dave did the same.

“Great!” he thought. “I’m already late on the schedule…” he checked the time on his phone. “My… schedule? Oh my… Tim is turning me into a nerd.” he realized and chuckled about it.

Wearing another white t-shirt and a pair of dark blue sweatpants, he ran outside of the gym and jumped on the first bus he could find. Around twenty minutes passed and he started to sweat, already thinking that he couldn’t make it in time. Once the bus dropped him off just a few blocks away from his classic suburban, empty house (his parents were out of town for a couple of days -so he was alone), he felt a shiver down his spine, a sudden terrifying realization striking him like a lightning bolt. He nervously rummaged through his backpack but he couldn’t find them. “No! NONONONONO! FUCK!”

He forgot his house-keys.

They were inside the house.

And that house was ultra-protected by a very intricate alarm system that could only be deactivated using his keys.

“Alright, maybe it won’t go off if I try to sneak in quietly…” but the moment he touched one of the windows, the lights inside the house flickered on and off, followed by a loud, almost war-sounding siren. “INTRUDER ALERT!” a robotic voice said. A small thingie placed on the house’s front door opened like an eye, a glowing red eye, looking more like HAL9000 from “A Space Odyssey”.

“PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF”

Dave gulped and cautiously stepped towards the AI monster that used to be his own house. “This is ridiculous”.

“IDENTIFY YOURSELF” the robotic voice insisted.

“It’s me, Mr. Maning!” Dave said, remembering how his father configured the alarm system.

“VOICE NOT RECOGNIZED” the HAL-lookalike stated in a monotone voice, narrowing its only eye.

“Really dad! You didn’t configure this bullshit to recognize your own son?!” Dave shouted angrily, kicking the front door, triggering more sirens from his house, now looking more like a crazy Christmas Tree.

“LAW ENFORCEMENTS HAVE BEEN INFORMED OF THIS”

“Screw it! Fuck fuck fuck!” Dave shouted, running away from his own house.

After a few blocks, he jumped on a passing bus.

“Alright, that was weirdly out of place.” he checked the time on his wrist watch and almost passed out upon finding out how freaking late it was. “Gotta call the nearest bro then… this is an emergency”

–

“Your house tried to murder you?” Tim asked, narrowing his eyes. He knew that Dave’s house had some kind of futuristic alarm system, but that sounded a bit too… Terminator-ish.

“Dude, less talking, more showers. I’m sorry to show up so suddenly, but that’s an emergency.”

“Don’t worry, take all the time you need…”

“I wish I could!” he shouted, nervously.

Tim escorted Dave through his house, but he was basically part of the family so he didn’t need to be told where the bathroom was. Dave was desperate and needed to shower as soon as possible, so he simply asked if he could use Tim’s. Of course, there was no problem with that. That’s what friends are for.

They walked upstairs side by side and continued to talk.

“Forgot cousin Ted’s birthday, uh?” Tim asked, teasing him.

“Shut up. Just hand me a towel and I’ll be fine.” he said, undressing just outside of the bathroom and in front of Tim.

As we all know, Tim was gay and Dave was well aware of that and his other quirks, including his fart fetish.

But seeing his best friend strip-teasing in front of him was kinda unexpected even for him.

“I don’t have time for your awkwardness, Tim, hand me the fucking towel.” Dave said, annoyed, knowing exactly why his friend’s breath was a bit deeper than usual, but he just didn’t care. Then again, they saw each other naked many times in the past, so why being so awkward about it?

Tim handed a big white towel to his friend, now almost naked, and he disappeared behind the bathroom’s door. “Fucking fiber bars!” he heard Dave saying, his voice echoing in the bathroom, followed by long wet-ish fart.

“I guess it has something to do with his gym-stuff” Tim thought. “Alright, make yourself at home. If you need something just call me!” he shouted, outside of the bathroom. He heard a muffled “Thanks!” and then walked into his own room, back to his books. He could still hear the water flowing’s noise and even Dave singing (horribly) some pop song under the shower, accompanied by the bathroom’s radio (never mind it was playing a completely different song).

After 10 minutes, Dave stopped showering and stepped outside of the shower box, but his foot almost slipped on the wet floor. “That was close!” he thought. “Hey, Tim!” he called. “I don’t want to die in your bathroom, can you bring me a pair of slippers or something? Thanks!”.

Dave waited for a couple of seconds and then heard some noises outside of the bathroom.

“Just come in, Tim!” he shouted. “It’s getting late! Come on!”.

Tim cautiously opened the door, one hand covering his eyes. “Seriously?!” Dave questioned, noticing his friend’s amusing “formal” behavior. “You saw me naked dozen of times! Aw, screw it. Come on, hand me those slippers…”.

Dave fully stepped outside of the shower, his naked self only a couple of inches away from Tim. The gay friend dared to move his hand away, uncovering his eyes, expecting to see Dave wearing at least a towel.

But he was completely naked. And he didn’t seem to care at all.

He chuckled the moment he saw Tim’s nervous reaction, just standing there and visibly turning red.

“Come on dude!” he laughed. “Fucking fibers, man…” he said, patting his gay friend’s shoulder and leaning his naked, hairy butt towards him, ripping a long, raspberry sounding-fart almost on him. Tim stared speechlessly at that amazing vision, the tiny hair on his butt cheeks being blown by the wind coming from his spreading butthole. He turned completely red when he noticed how even spurts of water came out of his friend’s butt as the fart continued for almost 7 seconds.

Tim gently pushed Dave away as the fart faded out, his gassy friend laughing as usual. He just remained silent, trying to hide his usual inopportune boner (which Dave was well-aware of) and sprinted outside of the bathroom, hearing Dave laughing even more, amused by his gay friend’s awkwardness. “Thanks for letting me use the shower, Tim!” Dave shouted, mockingly.

—

Tim slapped himself a couple of times while staring at the doppelgänger in his mirror.

He had to study, he had stuff to do. But his boner was awfully persistent.

Not even in his wildest “fetish dreams” he could’ve imagined that he was going to have a best friend so chill and open-minded about all of this stuff.

“Phew…” he sighed in relief, feeling his dick deflating a bit.

Until Dave showed in his bedroom, wearing only black boxers, his “emergency formal dress” in hand.

He greeted his gay friend by ripping another fart, a series of three loud toots.

“Honey, I’m home!” he said, right after the rip, with a teasing smirk.

He sat on Tim’s bed and sprayed himself with some perfume for men. He then put on a pair of beige jeans and slipped his feet into some dark-colored sneakers. Tim dared to look at him and had to admit it one more time: Dave was freaking hot.

He got up from his friend’s bed, spraying more perfume on himself, exposing his naked, beautifully haired chest to his gay friend.

“Sorry dude, Dana loves my manly scent…” he chuckled, noticing the cloud of deodorant around him. “Speaking of manly scent…”

A silly smirk popped up on his face and clenched his fists: he turned around, his back facing Tim, and pushed one out for him. Another fart began, loud and deep as usual, the rumbling sound echoing beneath the beige denim of his jeans covering his powerful butt. Tim’s boner came back in a blink of an eye, a tent appearing in his sweatpants, but they both laughed about it at the end. 

“Sorry, bro.” he chuckled, waving his hand back and forth to “avoid” the smell of his own gas-bomb. “Those fiber bars are terrible. Or amazing, in your case…” he smirked. Tim blushed a bit instead, remaining silent.

Dave checked his phone one more time. “Turns out I’m not late anymore. Thanks to you, Tim! I owe you one!” he said, patting his friend’s shoulder. He smiled back and nodded.

“Since you’re here… want to try the new Metal Gear…?”

Dave blinked in disbelief. “You bought the new M- nah, I can’t!” he said, shaking his head. “I need to stay focused. Snake needs my full attention. Maybe next time… Snake… next time…” he chuckled, jokingly patting his own chest patriotically.

The silence that followed was quickly broken by another deep fart from Dave.

“Dude, come on!” Tim chuckled, trying to push him out on his room, his hands touching his hairy chest. The moment Tim realized it, he turned blood red and backed away in embarrassment.

“Sorry bro, you know: nobody can escape my farts!” he responded, forcing another toot out.

Dave then laughed mockingly, amused by his friend’s awkwardness. But he didn’t want to see him so uncomfortable around him, so he ripped yet another fart (fiber bars were incredible) and smiled. Tim didn’t know what he was distracted by the most: Dave’s chest or his continuous farting. It was a combo of hotness for him.

“Dude I’m so gassy right now…” he chuckled, walking towards Tim’s bed and sat on it. “I underestimated the power of fiber bars. Hope Dana doesn’t mind.” he admitted, rubbing his belly, like he was trying to force more farts out. “Luckily, it’s not like you’re going to hate me if I deflate myself here, right?” he jokingly asked, with a smirk.

“Of c-course… of course not!” Tim spluttered, trying to hide a wide smile, his face as red as a tomato.

He then sat behind his desk, trying to drive his attention to his books. Dave’s farts soon arrived, keeping him company. His gassy friend was messing with his phone, waiting for the right time to leave, expecting a phone call from Dana. The sound was mostly muffled as Dave’s butt in beige jeans was buried into the bedcover. Everything felt so… natural.

“Alright, Dana texted me. She’ll pick me up in a few minutes.” Dave said, bouncing a bit on his friend’s bed, unable to hide his smile.

“Awww… now that your farts were getting bigger…” Tim jokingly said, but he then started to sweat. “Sorry, I can’t believe I said that.” he muttered nervously, avoiding eye contact, pretending to read his book.

Dave laughed, amused, and got up, slowly walking towards his petrified friend. “You know, Tim. I think you’ll need a shower too after this one…”.

He gently grabbed his gay friend’s head and turned around. Tim was sitting on a chair, so his head was perfectly aligned with his tall friend’s butt. He felt Dave’s hand gently pulling and then pushing him between his jeans-covered butt cheeks. The scent of his previous farts was still there so he took a good whiff, inhaling deeply. He then felt his friend’s muscles relax and a bubbly fart came out. It was different than Dave’s usual farts: it was definitely more wet-sounding, but harmless. The fiber bars were like a nuclear reactor in his stomach; the blast of gas sounded deep and rumbling, vibrating fiercely on Tim’s face, his head still being held in that position by Dave’s hand firm, but gentle grip (not that he wanted to move anyway).

The smell was nauseating, rotten-egg-ish.

Absolutely beautiful.

And Tim’s dick agreed, quickly standing up, saluting Dave’s farting masterpiece.

After ten long seconds, Dave let his lucky friend go and turned to him. Upon seeing his startled face, he chuckled and patted his head.

“Fucking fibers, man! I feel so much better!” he laughed a lot, teary eyes, while Tim remained silent. “You’ll definitely need a shower, not kidding!” he added, as he felt a bit of his own stinky fart hitting his nostrils.

Dave’s phone vibrated: it was Dana.

For a moment, Tim had the egotistic hope that his friend’s plan were cancelled, so they could spend more quality time together. But he shook his head, ashamed by what his mind was capable of, and simply smiled to him instead.

“Say ‘hi’ to Dana for me.” Tim said, accompanying his still-gassy friend downstairs.

“Sure. Thanks for everything, bro. You saved my life tonight.” he said, giving him a quick, strangling hug.

As Dave opened the front door, he realized that his chest was still fully exposed. He turned to Tim, who was sporting a sly smirk.

“Forgetting something…?” he asked, sarcastically, handing the grey shirt to his gassy friend.

“You saved my life. Twice!” he thanked him, buttoning his shirt up hastily.

He then rushed outside of the house, towards Dana’s car.

Tim nodded at his friend’s girlfriend, who smiled back.

The two shared a quick peck on the lips and drove off.

“Dana. You’re luckiest girl on Earth…” Tim thought, thinking of how great Dave has always been with him, before and after his coming out. He walked back inside and then took a good whiff of… his own body: the rancid smell of his best friend’s farts was still engulfing him in a mystical cloud of gassiness. “Yep. I definitely need a shower” Tim stated, heading upstairs. Dave was probably joking about the “You’ll need a shower” thing. He probably underestimated his own farts too!

That’s what Tim was planning to do anyway: one long, relaxing shower.

Right after one long, relaxing meat-beating, as his dick was still rock hard in his pants.

Once again, Tim realized how lucky he was, as he didn’t need to imagine “hot” stuff while masturbating: it was all real.

“Thanks, Dave” he thought, as a cheesy grin popped up on his face, just as a waterfall of sperm poured from the tip of his finally calmer penis.

“Fucking fibers…” he chuckled.

End of Episode 2

[entity9silvergen]

I recently asked reddit for some LGBT history from countries other than the US. Here’s what I got:

Germany

The Weimar Republic was surprisingly accepting of "alternative lifestyles."

During the Weimar Republic, Germany had a pretty active LGBTQ scene, with some major films and songs being produced, despite it still being illegal at the time. However, there was also a push to decriminalize homosexual behavior which sadly wasn't passed as the Nazis came to power.

This was based of two factors: after WW1 the authoritarian culture of Prussia sorta received a long overdue pushback. People were kinda sick of it, especially since these losers led them into a seemingly pointless war to begin with. Second: A LOT of men died in WW1 - and the army did not exactly prefer LGBT people. So with a lot of regular folks dead, the percentages of the total populace was sorta shifted. This also pushed the women's rights movements at the time for a similar reason.

Magnus Hirschfeld was helping trans people transition, crossdressers get crossdressing 'licenses', and generally advocating for and helping the LGBT community in the early 1900s in Germany. Nazis ended up raiding and burning down his research institute.

Hirschfeld was a gay polyamorous man. He was one of the first advocates for trans and gay rights but his work was destroyed by the Nazis.

The institute he headed even did the first modern gender affirming surgeries. The institute was destroyed and many people who were there (including the first known person to undergo complete MtF surgery) were killed by the nazis and the place was little more than bombed out ruins at the end of the war.

More information on the institute

Pre Nazi interwar Germany (Weimar Republic)  was pretty open when it came to not only sexuality, but also gender identity. The Nazis put a stop to that & tried to destroy any & all research into either, but, for a brief moment, it was there.

Russia

Pretty sure all Russian LGBT history was erased before we even had a written language, but Russia almost got gay marriage legalized in the first soviet constitution (didn’t happen bc Stalin)

The early soviet period (pre-Stalin) is sometimes called “the first sexual revolution” as opposed to America’s “sexual Revolution” of the 60’s. Broad women’s suffrage, female employment and education, parental leave, advancement of GSM rights & decriminalization of abortion. This unfortunately did not stand the test of time & reactionary sentiment.

Additional Source

UK/ Britain/ England 

The lead singer of Judas Priest is gay. The commenter’s father thought it was kinda funny because it didn’t match with his biker aesthetic, but the commenter doesn’t think he considered how much leather he wears on a daily basis

Hell bent for Leather was a track off Killing Machine. It was written by lead guitarist Glenn Tipton (who is straight), but it's fun to find alternative meanings in Priest songs. A second commenter likes to pretend a lot of the lyrics Halford sings are gayer than they actually are.

A couple people mentioned how uncomfortable it was seeing Ru Paul interact with British drag queens because he barely knows anything about British culture.

Ru Paul got angry that a British drag queen hasn’t seen the Golden Girls because “it’s gay culture” and then not five minutes later someone had to explain to him who Alan Turing was.

Alan Turing, who was an incredibly noteworthy figure (He made the Enigma codebreaker machine, which broke the code that was used by Nazis during the war and basically sped up the war by a significant margin. He also set the foundations for artificial intelligence, one achievement he was named for: the Turing Test), was homosexual and prosecuted multiple times because of it

Shakespeare was probably bisexual (some of his sonnets had homoerotic subtext/were sent to a younger man). Plus, Hamlet is gay as fuck. 

Sonnet 46 was very gay. Here’s a link!

King James 1st was corrupt and used his position to promote his gay lover to higher positions than he should've gotten. 

The 13 year old king James 6th of Scotland and 1st of England fell in love with a 37 year old catholic Franco Scottish man. The king gave the older man so much free shit that other lords started getting salty and his lover ended up converting to Presbyterianism out of loyalty to his young lover. He also fell in love with a man who ''was noted for his handsome appearance as well as his limited intelligence.'' 

Clearly James was into himbos, and women too.

He had a secret tunnel connecting his bedroom to George Villiers’s bedroom.

His relationship with Villiers was basically common knowledge and a source of much amusement and mockery. He also once said that his relationship with Villiers was equivalent to the relationship that Christ had with John the Baptist

Much more recently, there's obviously JKR and the banning of puberty blockers and Margaret Thatcher opposing LGBTQ+ rights by passing a law meaning you couldn't 'promote homosexuality'. 

Prince Philip was a racist twat (and probably a huge homophobe knowing him).

Gay marriage only became legal in 2014.

The Wolfenden Report was published in 1957, and it recommended the decriminalization of homosexual acts between consenting adults. It was a huge topic of public debate, and ultimately led to the Sexual Offences act of 1967, which legalized sexual acts between consenting men aged 21 or over in England and Wales (sexual acts between women were never explicitly criminalized). Scotland decriminalized sex between men in 1980, and Northern Ireland in 1982. 

For a totally batshit real-life bit of gay history, check out the show A Very English Scandal. It's about a politician, Jeremy Thorpe, who put a hit out on his former lover who was threatening to go public with the fact they had had a relationship. 

Austria

Gay marriage was legalized in Austria about 3 years ago. The worst thing is that it'd have staid illegal if the Supreme Court wouldn't have jumped in and declare it to be unconstitutional.

Austria did have something called "partnership" which was where gay couples could officially register with the state as couples but not receive any of the benefits of married het people

They still have super backwards Transphobic laws requiring for example "real life experience" to get even diagnosed. Basically you're forced to be and live as feminine/masc as possible and a doctor them judges if you're femme or masc enough. It's torture

Australia had widespread, over 60% approval of gay marriage for well over a decade before the government legalized it. The governments were actually going against the people for a very long time by denying it.

Taiwan/ Hong Kong/ Mainland China

When Taiwan recently legalized gay marriage, their official statement was something along the lines that they were casting off Western-imposed values and returning to their own traditional values and the entire western lgbt community ridiculed them in a "if that's what you need to tell yourself" sort of way but it's actually the truth. 

Prior to western colonization, the Imperial Chinese attitude toward sexuality was not dissimilar to Greco-Roman attitudes in that a man must marry a woman to beget legitimate heirs but whatever else he does on the side is his own business. It wasn't until Victorian colonizers came along and imposed homophobic attitudes on China that China started treating gays like abominations. In Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Mainland China, as indeed most of the world, homophobia is a western value imposed by colonizers.

Bonus history: there is an actual saying in Arabic that was in widespread use across the Middle East and North Africa for thousands of years from classical antiquity until European colonization. The saying goes "Women are for babies, [young men] are for fun."

The commenter specifies that this means “college-aged twinks,” not children

Another commenter speculates about when homophobia arose in China and how. They also add that in Rome, bottoms were stigmatized. 

There’s a story of Emperor Ai of the Han dynasty & him cutting off his sleeve for his boyfriend

There is also a god worshipped in Taiwan, the Rabbit God Tu'er Shen, whose domain is managing love and sex between same-sex attracted people. He is meant to be the incarnation of a soldier from the 17th century, who fell in love with an imperial inspector and spied on him bathing, and was tortured and killed by that official because he was offended by the spying. A villager from the soldier's hometown dreamed that Tu'er Shen appeared to him and said that because his crime had been love, he had been appointed to manage the affairs of gay people. The villagers erected a secret temple to the soldier, and people have been praying to him ever since.

South Africa

South Africa became the first nation in the world to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in its constitution. It was also first country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2006. What really set them back for so long was apartheid.

There is some speculation that that Shaka Zulu was gay since he never took any wives

South Africa's post Apartheid constitution was the first in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation in 1996.

South Africa was also the 5th country in the world and only country in Africa to legalize same sex marriage in 2005.

Even before that the Constitutional Court ruled that sexual orientation was not relevant when deciding child custody in 2002.

Transgender folks have been allowed to change their sex in the population registry since 2003.

Conversion therapy is not illegal yet and public opinion still needs some work.

Spain

In Spain gay marriage was legalized in 2005, now they are considered one of de gay-friendliest countries in the world. The commenter is a lesbian and has never been closeted or directly experienced discrimination for being a lesbian.

In July 2005, Spain became the third country in the world to explicitly legalize gay marriage, after a thirty-year struggle following the fall of Franco's dictatorship, during which most activism was carried clandestinely (as it was illegal).

From 2007 onwards, Spanish [binary] trans people can legally correct the name and sex fields of their IDs and currently, there's a push for a law that would allow for legal recognition of non-binary Spaniards.

Despite the dictatorship in the 60s, there were cinemas that specialized in gay meet ups. Trans women also had ways to get passports so they could go to the US for surgery.

Ireland

In Northern Ireland, same sex marriage only became legal in 2020 and the leader of the most popular party is homophobic transphobic racist and sexist af. In fact, the majority of the party are but some of the quotes from the biggest party leader are depressing.

Same-sex marriage was only legalized in Ireland in 2015. Homosexuality was decriminalized in 1993. 

When Ireland legalized same sex marriage by popular vote in 2015, it was still something you got horribly bullied for in schools if you were out. Queer people got an apology from the Taoiseach in 2018, for the suffering and discrimination we faced from the State prior to the legalization of homosexuality.

In the case of trans rights, in 2015 the Gender Recognition Act was signed into law. It allows legal gender changes without the requirement of medical intervention or assessment by the state as long as you are over the age of 18. 

Ireland has fines and jail time for anyone found guilty of attempting conversation therapy. 

Ireland has seen a lot of progress in LGBT rights in the last 6 years but even up to the 2000s, citizens left their family members and friends to rot for being LGBT+. It still happens all over the country, especially in circles that are still fanatically Catholic. As the Catholic Church has lost the iron grip on the country, people have become more accepting of the LGBT+.

India

The Kamasutra(ancient text on sexuality etc.) has an entire chapter dedicated to homosexuality

The Arthashastra, a 2nd century BCE Indian treatise on statecraft, mentions a wide variety of sexual practices which, whether performed with a man or a woman, were sought to be punished with the lowest grade of fine. While homosexual intercourse was not sanctioned, it was treated as a very minor offence, and several kinds of heterosexual intercourse were punished more severely.

Sex between non-virgin women incurred a small fine, while homosexual intercourse between men could be made up for merely with a bath with one's clothes on, and a penance of "eating the five products of the cow and keeping a one-night fast"

Milk, curd (cheese), ghi (clarified butter), urine, and dung are the five products of a cow

The commenter adds that this is not a terrible punishment.

The Mughal Empire mandated a common set of punishments for homosexuality, which could include 50 lashes for a slave, 100 for a free infidel, or death by stoning for a Muslim

On 6 September 2018 the Supreme Court of India invalidated part of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code making homosexuality legal in India

Prior to the British colonization of India homosexuality was not all that looked down upon when compared to what happened when the British took over and instituted anti gay laws.

The Hijra (literally means third gender) were seen as normal and have been accepted since long before Christ, as evidenced by the Karma Sutra. The British took videos of them to take back to demonstrate how the Desi were “barbaric”.

Bonsia

In Bosnia, there was a one pride parade that ended with religious extremists ruining it and the police not doing anything. It was supposed to be 5 maybe 3 days long but ended in like 1 or 2.

The Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe mapped out the entire night sky with only his eyes. It laid the foundations of many later scientists, such as Isaac Newton. He was a very rich nobleman, so much so that he owned 1% of Denmark's money. He had a pet dwarf that apparently could see the future, which sounds pretty gay. He was also part of the Elefant Ordning, which consisted of rich and strong Danish men.

Philippines 

Despite many attempts to legalize same-sex marriage, the Philippines still didn't budge. Being gay in itself is legal, but same-sex marriage still isn't.

Philippines ,the most Catholic Country in Southeast Asia, has held the largest Pride Parade in Southeast Asia.

Serbia

Serbia didn't have history from about 16th century to 1800's when the 1st revolt happened and failed till 1813's... Then yet another in 1830's for semi independence from Turks, and full in 1836

During the last lingering Ottoman rule over autonomous Serbia, Serbia was one of the very first few countries to have legal mostly everything... it then got removed with like 3 constitution changes and then it didn't move forward for a looong time

Switzerland

Would you have thought that small, conservative Switzerland was a center of the international gay community during the mid-20th century? The magazine "Der Kreis"- the circle - was the only queer magazine in the world that kept publishing during WWII. It was edited in Zurich and distributed internationally, which often meant illegal smuggling, even into nazi Germany. The magazine's annual ball was attended by hundreds of gay men from all over Europe each year. The whole thing was kept strictly secret from the public, though it was known and tolerated by the police.

The Kreis club disbanded in 1967, as repressions grew heavier after a number of murders in the scene had caught the public's attention. By then, other European and American groups took its place, publishing their own magazines.

They made a movie about it.

More info about Der Kreis

As of today, Switzerland doesn't allow gay marriage. A country-wide referendum will be held this fall on gay marriage.

The commenter speculates that gay marriage will be legalized.

A few people expressed surprise that Switerland is socially conservative and several people explained that women’s right to vote was only place in the 70s.

There’s a movie about it

Turkey

A Muslim Persian (born in modern day Turkey) philosopher/mysticist named Mewlana who is known for his sayings on acceptance and love for one another was gay! He had exchanged letters with his instructor Shams and wrote homoerotic poems to him! In Turkey this is ignored by many due to the country's stance on homosexuality

More information

Norway

The commenter’s hometown and the neighboring town arranged their first pride parade/event in 2017, which is a big deal for a small place and one of the local priests went livid and went straight to the newspaper and social media to condemn it. A local rapper wrote a short and to the point article in the newspaper calling him out for all kinds of things which was a great read. Then to top it off, the priest arranged for a "Jesus Parade" in protest to be held the day before the pride parade. Only like five people walked in it, not including the priest of course because he happened to be on vacation in Spain that week. The pride parade itself was a success though! It's become an annual event. Covid has put some breaks on it though, but they're making a documentary this year about the pride celebrations.

Hungary

Hungary has no same sex marriage or transition rights

Police are unkind to protestors

During “commie times,” being queer was illegal so queer people went to the gulag

Belgium

Same sex marriage was legalized in Belgium in 2003 (right after the NL who were the first in the world). The commenter says that same-sex marriage has always felt possible and she is confused about other countries’ actions.

Poland

Polish president on public assembly: 'LGBT is not people, this is ideology'.

Denmark

WHO took their sweet time declassifying being transgender as a mental illness, so Denmark got sick of waiting and became the first country to stop classifying it as an illness.

Australia

In Australia same-sex marriage wasn't legal until 2017.

Portugal

Portugal is know for having one of the most (if not THE most) peaceful revolutions in history back in the 60's, with only 4 deaths total.

Canada

Operation Soap.

Mexico

To learn more, watch Dance of the 41 on Netflix.

Netherlands

NL was one of the first countries to legalize gay marriage in 2001

Sweden

In Sweden they used to classify Homosexuality as a disease during the 20th century so in protest people would call in too gay to work.

New Zealand

When same sex marriage was legalized, the parliament broke into song.

The song

Other

Homosexuality is illegal in 73 countries, some by death or life in prison.

Only one country in Asia has legalized same-sex marriage: Taiwan

FNAF is older than same-sex marriage in the US

Condor Operation

I think this is some important stuff so please reblog so more people can see! And, if you would like to add to or correct anything here, feel free to do so!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

[liberty-barnes]

the good think about staying home cause i'm sick is that i can finally watch the afh stream

so yeah, i've been crying for an hour and a half

like first of all this is done amazingly, charlie lightning really smashed it, no lie

hélène is the new love of my life, i just wanna hug the living daylights out of her for everything she's done for louis

the band is fucking amazing and that instrumental solo in fearless sounded like angels coming out of my tv

the crowd looking gayer than a pride parade makes me incredibly proud to know that this is not only thanks to louis, but that he knows we love and support him and that we're as brave and fearless as we are thanks to him

"only you lot can hear [copy³] once and know it that fucking well!" well, we've kinda been streaming it non stop since you first sang it so it's more like hearing it a million times but go off i guess

jho is making me fucking bawl. that song's been saving my life for four years and hearing him perform it will never not make me emotional

to everyone that was there, i'm so happy for you and thank you for letting him know how much we love him and SCREAMING the "come so far from princess park" line

this was supposed to be a short thing, but like all things in my life, it's turning into a running commentary so i'm sorry in advance

CHANGE IS NEXT YAY I ACC HAVEN'T HEARD IT BEFORE

i've been avoiding it like the plague until i had time to watch the livestream so

okay i already love it

the way the arena went quiet cause we know we need a clean version lmaooooooo

OOOOH THAT HIGH NOTE ON "cAAALL ON mEEEE" just about killed me, it was so clean

"if you need you can call on me, i'll be the friend you need, everything's changed outside, but i feel the same inside" PLS CAN YOU SEE MY TEARS

everyone's crying in the audience and looking at him with literal heart eyes and tbh same

those instrumental solos are so fucking good

this song is gonna be perfect for everything, like i can study to it, i can listen to it on the bus, i can scream it at the top of my lungs

"hold it, i'm talking" you're such a DIVA

"i'm looking around and obviously none of you know the words" give it two more listens and we'll be good, don't you worry

DEFENCELESS DEFENCELESS DEFENCELESS

"got so much to ✨lose✨" music asmr for my overworked brain

the "oh oh oh oh oh" with the instruments, and the music, and the audience >>>>> every fucking thing else

he must be having the time of his life on stage i'm so proud of him omg my baby boy i'm having a proud mama moment even though this guy's like 11 years older than me but i don't give a single flying fuck i love him so much

i need a shower to wash the salt off my face, i cried a little too much these last few songs

YAY BEAUTIFUL WAR I LOVE THIS ONE

it took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that the reason the drums sounded like they were making different notes is cause there must be someone playing bass but i jusy can't see them cause i'm too focused on louis and Hot Guitar Guys

oh there's the one playing bass

i think

oh give me a break i'm sleep deprived and high on pain meds

idk if i miss his long hair or dig the short hair, but either way he looks gorgeous and i love him and i want that shirt

i should watch this with my louis and play a drinking game

drink everytime he curses

we'll end up smashed but it's worth it

LITTLE BLACK DRESS OH MY GOD

IDK IF I'M FREAKING OUT CAUSE WE'LL GET A LOUIS VERSION OF IT OR IF I'M CRYING CAUSE WE DIDN'T GET A LARRY CATWALK MOMENT BUT EITHER WAY OH MY FUCKING GOD

i wanna kiss and kill whoever thought it'd be a good idea to have these many instrumental solos

kiss them cause they sound amazing

but kill them cause i'm slowly falling in love with Matt The Bassist and i don't have the mental stability to handle yet another crush on a white man but damn if he doesn't look hot with that thing in hand

like between matt dinnadge and victoria de angelis and calum hood i'm really just a hoe for bassists huh

FOR EVERY QUESTION WHY YOU WERE MY BECAUSE

i don't know who the violin girl with shoulder-length hair is but ma'am please marry me

louis taking shots is hilarious PLEASE the cough and immediate drink of water made me laugh so hard

THROUGH THE DARK YAY

even if you screeeeaaaaam and shout *cue video of liam screaming cause louis poured water down the back of his shirt*

*affectionately flips fans off🥰*

he loves us so much and that makes me so happy

this fandom is honestly amazing, from the love we get from him to the love we have for each other. it's like a fucking found family and we all know how much i love those. i love you guys🤍

hélène really wasn't lying when she said he'd sound the best he ever did

this show was 50% louis asking the crowd to sing and i'm not sven mad cause the pure happiness on his face hearing his songs being yelled back at him is too good. it's like he's surprised that we love those songs with all our hearts like of course we do they're fucking masterpieces

this is getting increasingly incoherent but who cares

DON'T KICK THE CAMERA THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE

kmm was the best song to end the show

louis and his band jumping around in happiness >>>>>>

"let's go have a DRINK!!!" god i wish but i'm on antibiotics

"oh fuck me man" i mean i'm sure we can arrange something, i'd have to check if harry's good with it, maybe we'd have to turn it into a threesome but i'm good with that

louis & hélène are my new friendship otp

louis with his family >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"they're so loud" well i mean we learned from you, Mr Loud Loud Loud

the tommo sisters are eating pizza and now i want some too

i wish i could hug hélène, she's so amazing

"i've got these lot behind me, who the fuck's gonna stop us?" FUCKING NOBODY THAT'S WHO

i'm off to cry now, bye y'all

i'm so glad i have this downloaded cause this is the only thing i'll be watching for the rest of my life

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@dollsome-does-tumblr​ does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes​ where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding 

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

[illogicallyinclined]

Hi! Just got the hang of the whole tumblr thing! What are the characters relationships to other characters. Specifically OC's. Like family tree's and who they're dating etc. This AU is awesome, basically binged it all in the last few hours XD

ah hell yeah, let’s talk some OC families

i’m gonna split this up into a few OC asks, because there are… so many players on a hockey team. AnyHow, Let’s Go

tws: family drama, divorce, death of family members (cancer mention, miscarriage mention), allusions to abuse, homophobia & panphobia, casual mentions of disownment because Peter has got some issues, cursing, hook-up mentions

Jared Jaslow:

in case his entire personality isn’t enough of a clue, i am here to confirm that Jared is an Only Child

specifically, he is the only child of a very contentious divorce; his parents both love him, but they hate each other fiercely. how they got along well enough to have a baby, Jared will Never Know

both of his parents remarried, but he’s not close to like… either of his step-parents

he also isn’t sure what his family’s stance on Anything is, so he’s staying the closet, thanks

Jared’s bisexual; he’s a little gay for a majority of the team, a lot gayer for Logan, and the absolute Gayest for Bo

Bo doesn’t know this for the longest time, but when he figures it out, it is Charming and Wholesome

he’s also domestic partners with Payton and Remus for life, tho, don’t get him wrong

(sorry Bo, you’ve just adopted Three Whole Bastards)

Payton O’Shaughnessy

Payton has a sister who is 4 years younger than himself. she is a lot smarter than him (which makes him Big Proud), and he dotes on and deliberately embarrasses her in equal measures

he’s a good big brother, but he Can, Should, Must and Will tease her about her crushes

Payton’s parents moved to Ireland from the states because A) his father’s work dictated it, and B) they wanted to start a family away from their own, horrible relatives, and if they had to move countries to do so, then So Be It

 Payton’s relationships are usually transient and light-hearted; he’s clear about his intentions for hookups – a big of a thot, but never a fuckboy – and although he figures he’ll settle down eventually, he’s using his college years to Party Hard, so. no set relationship in the cards for him as of yet.

Peter Sullivan

Peter’s got both parents, and while their marriage is stable and overall happy, their dynamic is… grossly heteronormative for his tastes

it’s very sitcom-wife-and-useless-husband, except her useless husband is also a bit of an asshole to boot

Peter came out as pansexual, and while his mother was quick to gloss over it (kind of a it’s-fine-you’ll-probably-end-up-with-a-girl kind of deal), his father makes it known that this is Not a Development that He Is Okay With pretty regularly

but Peter didn’t get kicked out of his house, so??? (victory?)

Peter has a younger sister and an older brother, and they are equally terrible, so that’s fun

his older brother actually plays for the Minnesota State Mavericks – another Division I Ice Hockey Team – so a game against him is inevitable

much like Payton, Peter’s kind of playing it by ear on the relationship game. unlike Payton, he’s not huge on the hook-up culture. (those were his high school years, and they were… not the proudest time of his life)

Julian Beauregard 

another only child, although his personality is a little more subdued than Jared’s own

his mother and father split, and it was… kind of his fault? (which. he cries about a lot of inconsequential things, so you can bet that this fucked him up pretty bad)

[it wasn’t his fault – his mother sucks. but you can’t really convince him of that, just so y’all know]

he came out as gay when he was 12, and his mother… didn’t handle the news well. turns out his dad is bi though, so when Julian’s mother went off on him, his dad not only came to his defense but also realized that things weren’t going to work out with Julian’s mother at all

Julian’s dad has a new fiance, so it probably worked out for the best, but his mother still won’t talk to him to this day

on the relationship side of things, Julian has been happily dating a boy named Mateo for a while now. Mateo plays for the university basketball team, so catch Julian cheering him on from the crowd

Bo Anderson

Bo was born in Sweden, but he moved to the states as a teen

Bo was going to be an older brother when he was four, but his mother miscarried because she was never in the best of physical health herself

four years after that, she passed away of cancer, so it’s just Bo and his father now

Bo and his father are very close; although Bo can talk (albeit with a persistent stutter), his dad made an effort to become fluent in sign when he discovered that it was Bo’s preferred way of communication

their extended family still lives in Sweden, but Bo occasionally sees them during extended breaks

Bo is a sunshine boy, so the fact that Local Bastard Jared Jaslow fell for him was a Big Source of Amusement for the team, especially because Bo was completely oblivious about how timid Jared acted around him for the longest time

rest assured, Bo can be a bit of a deviant at times as well, but it doesn’t really start showing until he and Jared officially start dating

[gallaghercest]

REPOST: Evidence #1 - Noel’s Sexuality

Hello! So, I’m reposting this 2017 post because Tumblr deleted it.

Enjoy!

— x — x — x —

Good evening, class! It’s been a long time but I’m back. It took so long because I needed plenty of time to arrange everything correctly, because tonight we’ll have a long post. And I’m back with such a polemic subject to talk about. That’s right: Noel Gallagher’s sexuality. Pretty much a taboo in the whole fandom.

I actually realised this should have been my first post here, since it’s focused much more on the 80s, but, well, it’s all said and done now, so just pretend you read this post first, ok?

Before starting I know that there will probably be someone/some people who will go “but jULIA YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS, IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, IT’S TOO PERSONAL, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT NOEL AND HIS GAYNESS AA A A A A A A”

And I’ll tell you what, kids: I’d rather walk I HAVE the right to talk about this, I’m his fan, I have the evidences, I’ve done researches, essays, everything you can imagine, and my conclusion is: it’s not my fault if he prefers to stay inside the closet LG x

So, take your seats and here we go!

Disclaimer: this is a bunch of evidences I made by myself, based in conversations I had with my friends and months of analysis, suffering, nights of insomnia and tears. Don’t know if everything is veridical, but at least, it’s a way that I found to “light” up our way and try to find some proper fucking answers to this stuff.

Well, I bet lots of you have already wondered (at least once in your lifetimes) about Noel’s sexuality, because, honestly, it’s something really confusing if you stop to think about it. The guy fucking hooked up with his brother, that’s already a good point to start. But I’ll try to list all the evidences on a chronological order.

1-) This Charming Man

This one is more like a deduction but ok. Yes, the famous Smiths’ song always had an important role on Noel’s life. It was the first song he learned to play on guitar. It was his main inspiration to become a musician as soon he saw The Smiths playing it on Top Of The Pops in 1983.

But, a 16 year old Noel who hated school and all type of book obviously didn’t understand the references and the lyrics meaning of any song as a 21 year old Noel could.

There’s a quote from Noel, which I think it’s from the NGHFB era already – but it might be from the late Oasis years, who knows – which I couldn’t find now, but I promise I’ll try my best to find it. If you know it, you can send it to me, too. The point is that, basically, Noel was asked by the interviewer why would he play the same fucking songs in every single gig.

Noel answered that, when he attended his first Smiths’ gig, which I’m sure it was in late 80s, he wanted them to play This Charming Man SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, and they had played it on their last gig, or on the last week’s gig, something like this, so Noel was really hopeful about it. The point is: they didn’t play it on the gig that Noel attended, and he got pretty much traumatised over that. So, he claims he plays the same songs every single gig because of that happening.

But, now, I ask you: As I said, this song was always important to him. But, as he grew old, he might have understood the lyrics more – This Charming Man’s lyrics clearly talks about homosexuality and an affair between a guy from working class and a guy from an upper class, you can read more about it on Genius, I guess. And now that he was older, maybe he identified more with the song in general.

He said once that as soon as he heard This Charming Man, everything made sense, even though he didn’t know any literature references and stuff like that – so he admitted that he didn’t get the lyrics at first. And this is important because I’m not telling you he had homosexual tendencies since he was born, it came after years and years.

2-) “Effeminate Phase” AKA Manchester Mauler

In the Definitely Maybe DVD, when talking about the “Give me gin and tonic” bit from Supersonic with Mark Coyle (11:30), Noel mentions that he must have been going through one of his – ONE OF, IT MEANS HE HAD LOTS OF – ‘effeminate phases’ to be drinking gin and tonic at that time.

He even joked once in an interview with Zane Lowe that when Peggy asked him why did he kept in his room 24/7 playing guitar, he answered, joking, “because I’m gay” :’))))))))))))

And now, the thing that I guess it’s the most iconic thing about Noel’s sexuality: if you search on Google “Is Noel Gallagher gay?” you will find an anonymous answer (that actually was answered by The WikiAnswers Community™), which goes:

“Definitely! He’s known as the Manchester Mauler. A refrerence to his brutal homosexual appetite durring his youth in Manchester, England.”

And in case you’re wondering “what the fuck does Mauler mean?”, Urban Dictionary will help you:

(I censored it because maybe Tumblr would block it again if I didn’t)

Let me tell you: this is my favourite piece of information of the entire Oasis history. It doesn’t come from any reliable source but the point is: I don’t doubt it. It’s the truth to me.

3-) Clint Boon

This is probably the most important evidence – so important that it’s why I’ve chosen it to illustrate the post. Noel’s years as a roadie were, obviously, wild.

Everything started when he auditioned to be the new singer of Inspiral Carpets. As we all know, he wasn’t accepted, but he was asked to be a roadie, in case he was interested. I don’t want to be pretentious but I have lots of friends who think that the job was only offered to him because Clint was already interested, BUT ANYWAY.

It’s common to see lots of photos of Clint and Noel together, we all know. And very suspicious photos, in fact. Some of them are not even with Clint, for example. The one where Noel is almost kissing a guy with a hand on his **** is actually Graham. And you can tell it because Graham’s hair was shorter than Clint’s (it’s the third photo of the collage above)

Noel was already asked by this photo on an interview and he was BOLD ENOUGH to deny the kiss:

“Interviewer: There’s a quite famous photo of you snogging Clint [Boon] from The lnspiral Carpets.

Noel: Oh no, that was Graham [Lambert, Inspirals guitarist]. Yeah. We weren’t actually kissing, though.

I: It looked like you were.

N: Yeah, yeah, it did look like it. But I can assure you.”

Anyway, the point is, we know Noel can assure they weren’t kissing because the only guy he would kiss was Clint. Ok, seriously now: we know that Noel used to take suspicious photos with his friends, while they drank and did drugs.

You can even see Noel shotgunning – the act of blowing weed or simply cigarette’s smoke on another person’s, usually your partner’s, mouth, and maybe even kissing – on the 4th and 5th photo from the beginning of the post. Notice that both photos were taken at the same night (their clothes are the same) and with the same guy.

Ah, and we have the matching haircuts as well. Thing we saw happening to Liam and Noel too (1997, 1999…)

(please don’t ever let this photo die)

Well. My point here is not the photos, not even the haircuts at all. It’s Clint. The amount of photos/footage we have of Noel with Clint is much more significant than the ones we have with the rest of the band. For example, Noel’s not seen in bed with any other member than Clint.

Actually, I have more things to talk of Clint, but I’ll leave it to another post.

And more: on the book “Carpet Burns: Life with Inspiral Carpets”, by Tom Hingley, the lead singer, contains a quote where Clint claims that Noel taught him another use for the airplane tables (thanks, Mat, for the useful info!). Another use. If you know what I mean.

But the most extraordinary thing is that, coincidence or not, there’s a Inspiral’s song, called Dragging me Down, written by Clint, released on 1992 – when Noel was already gone and in Oasis –, that strangely makes references to planes, travels, sky and flying. Behold:

Now, it’s up to you to patch things together.

AND DON’T YOU GET ME TO TALK ABOUT THIS:

4-) Random Noel’s quotes through the years

This one is probably the more common and easy-to-find evidence. I’ll just give the examples I recall now, but if you have more in mind, feel free to share it so I can add it to this post!

I don’t know what happened to Noel in the ‘Russell Brand 6Music show’ on 2006, because somehow he said a lot of things there.

Noel insisted that if he was gay, he’d be the biggest gay in the world, saying “I would be gayer than Freddie Mercury”, and then, Russell suggested that the 3AM girls might be interested in Noel suddenly getting in touch with his gay side, to which Noel replied:

“In a manner of speaking, I may have done already.”

Bingo!

And there’s that one from 1 Leicester Square, also being interviewed by Russell Brand, where they even talk a little about Noel’s years as a roadie, and Noel later says he was “very in touch” with his “effeminate side” (again!) and that Noel was a girl’s name¿? Russell says Liam has a “sexualised arrogance” and I confess I’m really like ?¿?¿where did you get it, son?¿?¿? because I really do think it’s something Noel thinks at the deep heart, not something Russell Brand could say, actually.

And again, there’s another quote, from another Russell Brand BBC2 show from 29th July 2008: “I like a few women but I like men an awful lot more.” He even continues and say “I call myself straight, but I’m GAY!”. “If I went to call myself bisexual, it would be equally, if not more misleaded (?), I’m not undecided or bi-curious either” Then, Noel asks “Matt, can you come up with a new word for people who are mostly straight but a little gay or mostly gay but a little straight?” and Russell comes up with the brilliant answer: “Oasis.”

It actually surprises and triggers me how nearly every time Noel and Russell meet, they end up talking about that subject… really weird, innit? Does Russell know of something? We might never know… *suspense intensifies*

And, now, going out of the Russell Brand show, we have the beautiful quote of Noel for a German TV interview on February 2009, which I’ll give me the luxury to copy down here:

“Q: So tonight you’re on stage with your brother.

N: Unfortunately, yes.

Q: Unfortunately. You don’t like each other very much.

N: No.

Q: Is there anything you like about your brother? Anything?

N. There’s lots of things I like about his personality, but he doesn’t like me.

Q: Do you know why?

N: Uuuhm…

Q: Have you ever talked to him about it?

N: I don’t know. You’d have to speak to him. But I know he doesn’t like me. He insults me all the time.

Q: But you like him.

N: There’s certain aspects of him that I like.

Q: What kind of aspects?

N: He wears crazy shoes.

Q: Ah. Anything else?

N: He has crazy hair.

Q: And what’s that got to do with his personality?

N: They’re just things I find attractive in men.”

Fine.

6-) This.

Ok, now I have two destinations: either people will kill me or support me. I don’t want to, I don’t know, ruin Noel’s perfect-marriage-husband reputation or whatsoever; actually, I don’t want to ruin Noel’s marriage lolololol but the point is: it’s in the internet, so it’s free, right? And my job here is exposing. So, that’s what I’m gonna do.

Well, one day I was doing my daily research with my friends, seeking for evidences of Noel’s bisexuality, and I bumped up into this:

But then I thought, “c'mon, the guy (who I censored the username for legal reasons) could be tripping”, but then me and my big-stalker-KGB-ass did a research on the lad’s profile, and, in the same weekend he tweeted that, he really was at Glasto, in 2014:

And the point is that, Noel wasn’t playing Glastonbury then, but he ATTENDED Glastonbury; he was at backstage, as you can see here:

Maybe the guy is crazy? Yes! Do I think he is actually crazy? No! Simply because, as I said, I don’t doubt anything, I know Noel and his capacity. The only difference between Noel and Liam is that Noel is a perfect secrefreak.

7-) Oasis fans are noticing it

If you think I made up all this bullshit, think again. It’s more and more common you see, not only the more dedicated fan accounts talking about it, but more grown-up fans talking about it too – I mean: it’s common to see not only the fan girls talking of it, but 30 year old blokes talking too. So, something must be quite right in all of this, right?

That’s it, guys, thank you so much for reading, I really consider this post my ultimate masterpiece, so I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to reblog, it helps me a lot, send a message or whatever, I’ll love to read it, see you on the next post!

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Descendants au

Dude all the credit for the idea comes from @could-always-be-gayer-2 Remy is coming. He’s just not here yet. None of the parents names have been revealed. Also, this is going to be a series now because I’m writing and I feel like it.

“Welcome to auradon”

Roman was amazed. Auradon, a school for the daughters and sons of the “faves” as his mother called them. Roman clutched his acceptance letter close to his chest. He was going to go to school with all the greatest people. He was going to be somebody.

Emile looked through the mail. Again. He knew neverland was probably not going to come with a formal invitation. But on the other hand, he didn’t know that neverland dosent formally invite people over. Both of Emile’s parents had been to neverland. It wasn’t fair. He had faith and trust. He was just missing pixie dust. He pawed over each of the letters, when one caught his eye. A light gold color, with a red seal. It was beautiful. Emile opened the letter, crossing his fingers to find neverland. “Dearest Emile” his hands shook with excitement. “We are proud to announce that you have been invited to Auradon Prep”

Remy awoke on his bed. Right. His mom was obsessed with giving him chores. She would constantly sing to him that “whistling while you work” would make everything move fast. Remy couldn’t stand chores. They weren’t his style. So he pulled an apple from his pocket and took a nap for awhile. His allergy just made him sleep for a little bit. The longest he went was three days. No biggie. He looked at the clock on his bedroom wall. Only five hours this time. He glanced at the foot of his bed. A letter? He pulled it apart. Oh. He was accepted into a school called auradon prep. Remy didn’t understand how. He wasn’t a great student. Whatever. As long as he could get away from his mom.

Logan saw the letter train before it got to his desk. Everything in his room was automated. Maximum efficiency. Of course, his grandfather insisted on on adding a little whimsy. So yes. The mail got to his room through a train. Logan glanced at the letters, his hands still occupied with his work. The shiny auradon prep acceptance letter gleamed at him. Interesting. He took note of the letter, and resolved to read it later, as he continued working on his current project, a little wind up fairy for Emile.

Virgil ripped the fancy letter out of his older brothers hands. It had his name on it. He deserved it. He eagerly opened the letter. Auradon prep? What a boring sounding school. But, he looked closer at the letter. There was another note tucked behind it.“Hey! I’m Patton, son of the blue fairy.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “Son of -“ and “daughter of -“ we’re the boring ways that people introduced themselves here. Yeah. He was going to fit in great in the school where he was son of the bug-filled sack.

“Sir, you must put your name on the application form” deceit had received five of these letters this week. No one needed his name. It was much more fun to be called deceit. The name put intimidation into the room. He scratched his scales happily. He was going to school, and he was going his way.

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

Truth or Dare? 1/3 probably

much of the details about him in this fic is from things b has said in interviews, on periscope, twitch, twitter... see if you can guess what is true vs details/things i made up. other things, like most of his friends being girls (at least as a kid and teen) i don't think he's ever stated outright but i consider so damn obvious as you learn about him eg the bullying, his best friend in 8th grade was a girl. hopefully, all the things i remember him saying he's actually said and i didn't dream it/imagine it haha. also i love this fic so fucking much if i may say so. one of my faves, to be a braggart. in this universe, he never got introduced to spence or ryan, hence no mentions of them or panic! and him going off to arizona for cosmetology

tag list @greatheromuffinpalace @paypoulterer1 @anyh0w @anobsessioncalled @panicsinning @queerbrendon @prettyoddfiction @iwriteficsnottragediesladies @uriellybrendon @pageoftheclouds @brendonuriesbubblyass @ier0-must-die @itriedallthenamesiwantedaretaken @xfoxtalynx @spacesams00 @satanspuppet-x @1-800-hallelujah @ryrostan @tacobelltylerr @urie-dreams [just message me to be added or taken off the tag list]

----

You're watching Aladdin with Brendon, after Alice in Wonderland but before Bambi because you don't want to wind up crying yet. He's totally like Flower and Bambi. Loves flowers, flirty and doe-eyed, for starters. He's an Aladdin too, and is singing along with you as you're cuddled up on your bed with him, him absentmindedly playing with, brushing your hair. He stopped styling it a while ago, but you love having your hair played with, scalp massaged, neck too, as much as he does... Even that has arousal spreading, tickling over you.

You don't have class tomorrow, but he has a cosmetology one in the morning. He's still excited about not having someone telling him to get to bed though, and you're too relaxed, and uh... you like how you feel around him too much, how simple things, touches kind of turn you on, to suggest he get to sleep or leave your room. Besides, your roommate went home for the weekend. And these blankets and pajamas are comfy. You wind up getting into A Whole New World though: dramatic actions and singing, batting lashes at each other, giggling, pretending the bed is a magic carpet like the dorks you two are...

You offer your lap for his head to get pets in once the song ends... You love touching his hair. Watching his lashes, eyes, lips in the television light. Hearing his breathing deepening, his sighs, a couple mmms when you stroke the nape of his neck, tug his hair, scritch his scalp. You've only known him a couple months, but... whoo boy. Too bad he's gayer than the day is long. And kind of has a boyfriend from his program, George. Well, a friend with benefits.

“Truth or dare, B?” you ask when the movie ends, but neither of you move.

“'M sleepy from all those pets, y/n, so for once, I'm going with truth.”

“Were you like this as a kid? Was it musicals and wanting to do cosmetology and stuff back then too? Like not being... being... different. From how boys were supposed to be.”

He chuckles. “Pretty much. Did skateboarding for years, and some soccer, but that was pretty much the extent of the manly shit. Well, the heavy metal too. And lots of people did pot. But mostly the kind of things people thought boys shouldn't do. Most of my friends were girls. Still are. Liked making people laugh, entertaining them. Gymnastics, dance; just messing around not pro. Did sets for the drama kids in high school. I fit in with some guys, mostly chill stoner or art types, guys who weren't straight, but not many. Sometimes I had to fake it to get by with guys, if it even worked. But mostly stuff like the dress up box.”

“What'd you dress up as?”

“Different musical roles, like Maria and Cosette, Jean Valjean. I remember being about five and wrapping curtains around myself like a dress and singing Sound of Music. Cheerleader with the miniskirt and all from my older sister Kara. Uh... pirate, cowboy, or cowgirl. Elvis, Carly Simon, Gwen. Wanted to sound like her so bad. Beyonce. David Bowie in Labyrinth, without a proper wig though. And a few of the personas he had different eras too. Jareth was mixed up in a crush on him. Like I wasn't sure how much I wanted to play that role versus liked David... At twelve, with Jessica Alba, that was a lot clearer. Make up too, some wigs. Lots of my mom's clothes. I'm sure you can tell on that last one.” He still wears women's jeans now. And hoodies, shirts, a couple pairs of sneakers...

“Oh, a weird flower boy version of Rambo,” he laughs. “Like the headband, but my mom's blouse and jeans, a bouquet of flowers, heels, dad's sunglasses... Still have a picture of that one. And we have lots of home movies of stuff. Me being a lounge singer with a feather boa and gold dress... seducing my mom. Oh, shit, can't believe I just admitted that aloud. Anyway, there was firefighter, seamstress, servant, scuba diver, vet... Vampire, fairy, witch. Playing a mom or sister in plays, like sometimes one of my sisters would be the dad, I'd be the mom, or we'd be three sisters. Or they'd be the mom and dad and I'd be their baby. I remember one where I was pregnant—pillow and doll baby, haha—and Kyla was the pirate doctor helping me deliver on the ship. Or the damsel in distress being rescued by them. Or kidnapped by them. Or we had to save our mom, the queen, from a dragon or evil king.”

They were imaginative too! You're picturing them, little Brendon in these outfits, roles. So cute, and silly, and did you say cute? He must've been adorable, playful and an entertainer back then, too. He's done an open mic a few times and sings and plays at parties with friends. You've seen him do it last Saturday, nervous but eager to sing and play guitar, or keyboard. He said that music was his favourite hobby, that he loves doing it, especially for people, but you had no idea how deep it went.

“Me in my sister's gymnastic leotard, but over my shorts because she didn't want it so close to my crotch.”

The crotch part makes you think of it: if he wears... uh, panties too? The thought makes you flush and feel embarrassed. You haven't seen him in a dress or skirt either, but he used to wear those. You wonder if he still does and you just haven't seen it. You think they'd suit him for some reason. The lavender hoodie, the pink sneakers, plus a miniskirt? Denim, or black. God, you bet that he'd look even better, draw you to him more.

“Wish we had dress up stuff to play with here, B. Bet it was fun. And I bet you looked so cute.”

He gets up, but it's to turn on the lamp; the tv had gone dark. He bats his lashes. “Oh, I did.”

You both laugh as you throw a pillow at him. “Goofball. Don't ever let me tell you you still look cute, then. And that I actually would want to see you with a dress up box.”

“Truth or dare?” he asks. You'd forgotten how this started.

“Truth?” Neither is a safe bet, so you just go with what he went with to even it out.

“Would you want to see me dressed up? Like... in things here... of yours?”

Your breath catches. Are you that obvious? You nod, asking “Truth or dare?”

He grins. “Whattaya think, y/n? Dare.”

“M-maybe... uh... a skirt? On you, I mean?”

“That can be arranged.” He practically bounces over to your closet, sorts through, deciding on a long soft blue and lilac hippieish flowery one that goes to your ankles, a purple plaid one that comes to your knees but would be two to three inches shorter on him, and your denim one that's so short it would be a mini on him. You wear it with black tights or other pants it's so short. Really, he picked most of them; you only have two others. He holds them out one by one, then places them over his hips: “Which one would fit me best?”

You get flustered, because you want to see the denim one most, but worry it would be too short for him. The plaid one? It gives “naughty schoolgirl” vibes to boys and men, older pervs included, so you don't wear it much, even though it reminds you of a newly formed coven of witches stuck at a Catholic school for some reason (you blame The Craft). You wonder what'd look like on him. You bet he's worn skirt school uniforms before, and that he'd get cheesy with it, calling you Miss and asking hammily but flirtatiously about extra credit, asking you to teach him, maybe bending over... which not going to lie, you do want if it got sexily funny, but you know it couldn't mean anything.

He grins. "Warning ya, my legs are really hairy, so you might wanna go with the longest one. What can I say, I've got Jewish legs."

You snort. "Guess I've got Jewish legs too: my hair is a light brown, but there's lots of it below my knees. I stopped shaving now that it's November." You can't help wondering if he's dressed up for Hallowe'en in a girl's costume, or in drag, and what he'd look like; even some guys who are kind of sexist and homophobic do that for Hallowe'en, so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary even outside of the gay bar you and he were let into a few times, because George knew the bouncer. Both of your first one, bar or gay bar.

"Oh, I bet I've got more than you," he jokes, and slides his pant leg up a bit, doing a "banananana" strip tease music thing, shaking his leg, making you both giggle.

"Go with the shortest one, B. Bet you'd look super sexy," you reply, hammily winking.

"No peeking!" he admonishes teasingly, hiding behind your closet door, but he pops his booty out and sways it before hiding again. His jeans quickly get flung towards you to him laughing, "Hey, you ever see that British film The Full Monty?"

"It's kinda tight on my ass, but loose on my hips. What can I say? I bring the booty. But your hips are more womanly than mine, alas," he sighs dramatically. “And your thighs are damn. Um. At least it covers my underwear. Pretty much.” He peeks out, excited. "Ready? I just wanna make sure you're prepared for my hairy ass legs, oh and my stunningly gorgeous ass."

"Pshaw, I know that that booty brings all the boys to your yard, you tramp." He's really a tease at that bar. Both guys his age and kind of older, but only one creep. He always drinks for free, gets you drinks too, and you alternately keep close and watch from afar and let him do his thing with said boys. He only talks with most, often dances, but if he likes the guy, the dancing goes beyond pg territory, kissing too, and he even went home with one of them.