#i mostly do styro

[painfulpipes]

Used to be @pipes-and-pains but I think they nuked me or something? Idk. Anyways read my bio and I am okay with dms lol. My backup will be @pipesnpains ok? I post my cuts because I want attention and validation and I like my cuts and want to share them and I like the community. I am bpd possibly something else too idk i am also a morally questionable person.

I am mentally ill so don't be shocked when my mental illness does it's thing lol.

So far I've had 4 blogs. Idk never back down never what? Lol.

Definitely looking for moots lol.

[piko-chan]

hi hi I was wondering if you had any like after care tips for $/h this usually isn’t the side of tumblr I’m on so I’m not sure how to find any but I also love your blog it’s so cute and I hope your doing alright rn and also if you want could we maybe be mutuals

FOR THE LAST THING YEAHH!!!

We are friends now, you cannot say no

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Honestly I would have loved to come back with the better answer but

You went to the wrong blog lmaoo

I don't do any after care. Mostly because I only do cat scratches. Ever hit like one styro 💀 I know pussy shit

But like the most I have done ever was to use a spray for wounds. And that's it.

I mostly just wait for the blood to flow out, wiping it in between, and then proceed to just ignore it.

I am just INSANELY LYCKY DO NOT DO THIS OMG DON'T DO THIS. INFECTIONS ARE A REAL DEAL AND NOT THAT UNCOMMON

ALSO IT USUALLY STINGS A LOT. LIKE I CANNOT FOCUS ON ANYTHING BUT THE PAIN DO NOT DO THIS.

https://interactiveshguide.carrd.co/

(I used it for some time and it helped a lot 👍)

STAY SAFE! AT LEAST PARTIALLY!

Please

[vixendestroyz]

Heyy, I don't have anyone to ask this to (obviously), so I hope you don't mind if I ask you. Just wanted to know if my scars are actually going to stay for ever. I don't really mind the thought of that, but it's really best if I know so that I can pick a better place to do it so that they won't be seen. I hope you can reply to this, thanks a lot.

hey love, honestly, yeah they most likely will. it depends on depth, how you take care of them, genetics, placement, but unless ur doing only cat scratches and then treating them perfectly, you'll mostly likely have these marks for a very very long time. even cat scratches can stay for a while with perfect care. for me, I have a tendency to have VERY puffy sc4rs, so styros can even last years for me.

it's very important to keep in mind that places that are harder to see have a tendency to be higher risk places to cvt. I can't give any advice on where to do things, as I don't want to sound encouraging at all.

I hope that my answer is helpful, and may even deter you from continuing $H. recovery is genuinely always possible, and sometimes questions like these are a great first step to assessing the pros and cons of $H. either way, I hope you stay safe 💜

[tgirlblogger]

Dear Diary,

CW: Eating Disorder, Self Harm, Suicidal Ideation

Same old same old really. Generally an okay day, somewhat bad, but hey when does it ever get good right?

Finally got to skip lunch again, hunger is quite possibly one of the most exquisite feelings in the world. It gnaws at you and hurts you and it is incredible, because you know you're working towards your goal. You know the burning feeling is good for you. What kinda sucks/kinda is good about it is that it just goes away if I don't think about it. I'm really only hungry until usually ten or eleven. Like sure I know I could eat, but it just doesn't hurt. I'm pretty sure this is normal for everyone, but I'm super afraid to ask whether or not it is, because what if it is in fact normal and I essentially ask "is it normal for people to have 2 legs? Is it normal to breathe with your nose? Is it normal to blink?". So I'm doing it indirectly with this diary, but then again really nobody reads these, so I probably won't get a response.

I'm trying something new today, which is drinking water instead of snacking or whatnot. I feel that if I stopped just eating random junk I would be well under 105 right now, and its working pretty well. We got this juice drink or whatever that has "0 calories" and I trust it enough that I will drink it and expect it not to give me any calories or whatnot. I know that it means <5 calories, but I only drank 2 today and at most 10 cals is like nothing. The juice (it actually might be soda) is super tasty, and like its kinda killed my appetite. + I drank a bunch of water too. Unfortunately I super really need to pee but like most problems just kinda go away if you don't think about them. So all I ate today was just some leftover noodles from Saturday when we went to that restaurant. Pretty good stuff, and I can eat it without guilt because its the only thing I ate, and hopefully today I can get my act together and throw a bunch of it up.

It turns out that yeah I was right and wrong and no I won't get HRT on my first referral I have to wait more. I think I already knew this. I kinda hate my mom, because like she's jsut sooooo. I can't describe it tbh. Like I said I was gonna kill myself if she didn't let me get HRT and she just kinda laughed it off? Genuinely a motivator for me to kill myself, but I'm too cowardly to really actually do it. Sure I've got excuses but deep down its because I don't want to. I think she laughed it off because to her knowledge things have been great and I haven't cut in weeks, and you know what? Fuck that, fuck her, I'm going to cut right here right now as I type this.

Just did, feels great. I think it was just styro, but really shallow though. What sucked is that I definitely could have done two cuts, since I can't really gauge how well the shitty bandages I've got will do, and you can't really tell how much a styro cut will bleed until you've waited a bit. I can't even enjoy watching myself bleed anymore. So sad. Makes me wanna kill myself a little bit more.

But then again I'm not feeling overwhelmingly suicidal. Just like I want to do it, but not today you know? Someday soon hopefully. I call it suicide but that isn't really it is it? Its mostly for dramatic effect. I don't want to die, I want to cut my wrists open for them to see and then for them to save me. I don't know what it is I want really, maybe I do want death, maybe I want attention. I want things to go my way with no negative consequences ever.

Today was the first day of semester 2. Whatever. School is whatever for me, because it just comes and goes for me, even if it dominates my life. I've become a bit more self conscious about myself, even if its just for a really stupid reason. So like I've heard a voice say "loser" around me like twice now, and like it might be directed at me? I don't know the source of the voice, and I don't quite know if it even is directed at me, but like occam's razor right? Like there's some part of me that hopes its just to their friend or whatever and its happened twice because of coincidence, but like on the other hand, what else? But like whatever, whatever, I don't know, its stupid. I might just be overthinking things. Maybe it isn't even the same person saying that.

I did some volunteering, I've already said my piece about it in a previous entry. I'm halfway done, 4 out of 8 times. I also emailed my form, it has 4 lines so it lines up well. Don't have much else to say, I guess I should be proud? I do kinda feel proud, but like whatever.

Being true to yourself is what I need. It's essentially what being trans is all about, you discover yourself and realize that you've just been lying. I developed this theory but it also already exists I think (idk I googled "three selves theory" and yeah I think thats it I couldn't be bothered to read the whole blurb) but like there's three versions of you. There's you, there's the you in your head, and there's the you you present yourself as to others. In the ideal world all 3 are aligned, but I don't think it could ever truly be aligned. Unless you're like some cishet normal guy and you're very shallow but also exactly what other people like. Then maybe you've got it nailed down. But like anyways I feel like most of the time the voice in my head is just lying to me. And I know I'm lying to myself but like my internal monologue still says that shit. idk. I've lied to myself and others about a lot of stuff. Some of the stuff I say even here is just kinda lies, like I don't quite really know if I'm onto shit or if I'll think about it later and even realize I was just lying. Because in the moment I feel like I'm being truthful, but like idk. Like I don't even know if me as me is a separate person from [DEADNAME]. Like sometimes I do sometimes I don't. (btw I don't actually care about my deadname all that much, I just kinda censored it for privacy reasons) (also it hardly really counts as a deadname does it? Its not like I have any other names, and its not really dead is it, everybody still uses it). But like at times I feel like we're two separate people, but at times I feel like its just one continuous thing. I'm not even really sure if I'm trans. I don't even know if I want to be a girl anymore, or if I'd just be comfortable as an effeminate man. I have this distinct image in my head of me a few months prior, where my hair was shorter and whatever, and I look a lot like just an effeminate boy, and like being kinda weird here it makes me kinda horny. I kinda want to look like that again? There's a bunch of reasonings on why I want to look like that again but like it all feels a bit fake. It just feels like I go back upon that image and it feels more me than any girl version of me I could picture.

But at the same time I want to be a girl, but like I feel like thats just lying to myself. Like I'm an egg but just for detransition? I feel so confused. I don't want to be a man, I don't want to be a boy either, and I want to be a girl, but it doesn't feel me. Or it does? Like maybe its just because I'm looking back with rose tinted glasses or whatever its called and it's just that I want to be a girl with kinda short hair? Being weird again I think the image of myself was from when I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself with my phone camera while I was fumbling around with my phone, and back then I got like super horny at the idea of fucking my clone. So like was it good back then? Was I at as "me" as I ever would be? But I remember having this elaborate fantasy of getting struck by magic, being cloned, and helping her transition and she would help me transition. So like I still wanted to be different than what I was? I'm sorry that that was kinda weird.

This diary isn't truly a diary. It's kind of a desperate vie for attention. For someone to read any part of this and reblog or comment or message me about how they pity me so so much and how I'm so valid and how etc etc etc. And I don't have an excuse. This is exactly what this is. I feel that if I say I'm sorry I'm being disingenuous, because I do feel bad, but I don't feel sorry.

I think there's some internal transphobia that I actively do, like saying how I'm not a real girl or saying that cis people are the normal people, and that's once again a vie for pity. But I feel like some of it is bleeding over into the real me. I don't know. Can someone tell me I'm a girl? Can someone tell me how despite it all I'm actually trans? I need it.

[eepy-bones]

INTRO!!

Hello! My name is Echo, but you can call me Eepy if you prefer! I am a female that's just tryna lose weight the bad way, lol.

I'm currently at 143 LBS, started at 156.Though, I've been dealing with the rexia for a few years now, fluctuating from 150's/60's to 130's!

STATS!

Height:5" 0

Sw:156 LBS

CW:143 LBS

Gw 1:140 LBS

Gw 2:135 LBS

Gw 3:130 LBS

Gw 4:125 LBS

Gw 5: 120 LBS

(Extra: lw:125 ish lbs, hw:162 lbs)

I want to be lower, but my boyfriend wants me at the weight I am now, so I wanna be more subtle about it!

EXTRA!

I do sometimes post SH, but rarely. I mostly hit deep styro/b3ans, my last sesh almost landed me in da hospital 😔.

I usually do 19/5 f4sts, with a 600 c4l limit during my free 5 hours. But, I used to just raw dog it and st4rve until I bing3d, lol.

I will NOT post b0dy ch3cks, because I am a minor!!!

[zmbiegrrrl]

╔═════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════╗

Hello! My name is Lennon :D

I have been apart of shblr for awhile now!

I do mostly styros/cat scratches

I love anime!! Sailor Moon, HXH, Saiki K, MB100

Basic DNI criteria! (Proshippers, racists)

idm TCC tho aslong as you arent weird

Would luv some moots! :D

╚═════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════╝

[orphiccrowns]

Intro:

Helooooo everybody this is my second account- previously i was @spooky-theatre-ships and then somebody reported me :(

So:

1: PLEASE block dont report

2: my fandom sideblog is @hoardingfandoms

3: as a minor, mdni ppl please exit- if i interact w/ one of your posts it's on accident sorr

{Important Stuff below the cut}

𖤐 you can call me Arcelia, Celia, or any other nickname you can get from the base name {'cel' is on THIN ice though}

𖦹Pronouns: she/her

𖤐 I'm bi, graysexual and demiromantic

𖦹this blog is literally about me being utterly mentally ill, venting and $h

𖤐 however sometime's i'll post poetic/writing stuff here

𖦹 i'll also post lil life snippets

𖤐those will be tagged with 'celia snippets', 'celia quotes' is for quotes i made up, 'celia rants' is for me ranting (to nobody's surprise).

𖦹i'm sarcastic- but i think i'm reasonably nice, so if you want to be moots- dm at ur will! (I don't have discord or anything tho, so msging's gonna have to stay here ]: )

𖤐 i do NOT condone any of the stuff that i post, it's just me venting and being a bit silly- repeat i do NOT ENCOURAGE THIS.

✦writing info✧

𖤐my ao3 handle is Gayness_InAJar

𖦹it's... mostly angst

𖤐in the process of writing my own trilogy, might make references to the characters and share snippets on here

𖦹advice is always welcome: as long as it isn't hostile, please be nice to me and my rejection sensitive dysphoria

𖤐my "poetry" mostly consists of late-night quotes, it's not the greatest but i try

𖦹i'll post/reblog writey stuff here, but you'd have to wade through a lot of depresso content for it

✦DNI list✧

𖤐people who have mdni in their bio {i am a minor, so..?} 

𖦹extra extra right-wing people

𖤐people who come at me with any agenda, unless it's the demibiroace agenda which consists of sleeping and occasionally nomming garlic bread

𖦹NSFW {sex related} accs: no photos, text im slightly better with but keep that to your community i beg

✦sh info✧

𖤐deepest i've ever hit is styro

𖦹my parents found out so now i have to be discreet

𖤐down to one blade and only able to do cat scratches w/ it

𖦹people who are triggered by this kinda stuff- leave?

𖤐been cvtting for about a year and a bit, $hing in general for about two years

𖦹

𖤐 𖦹

𖤐byeeeeee :) dm at ur own will 𖦹

[starxxombie]

intro :p

hii im new to shblr (not really, js my first time interacting) and i wanted to introduce myself!!

name: star

pronouns: he/they/she

im a fairly experienced cutter (ive been cutting on and off for three years) and my usual depth is regular styros

im too much of a wuss to do beans (if any1 has any tips dm me….)

DNI IF: homophobic, racist, transphobic, ableist, if u’re one of those people who think cat scratches aren’t “real” sh, and if ur a creep in general

things i’ll post: mostly vents, maybe some cut/scar pics if anyones interested?

im diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and i also have therapist suspected audhd

im super into dunmeshi, tlou, art, pyschology, bugs, marine animals, and cutting (duh)

[anonloveshim]

intro <3 READ B4 INTERACTION

TW for edz, h0rny shat, sh, drvgz, all those bad copin mechs (mainly ed and random vents abt my life)

hey im maxx (any nickname with maxx- in it is ok!!) and welcome to my blog!! i basically post whatever i want but i mostly vent here :)) my pronouns are he/him/it/its/pup!! im a FtM puppykitty kin (no i dont have did or osdd) please block dont report i love my lil vent space bc its all that i have :') i suspect i have bpd and audhd and some kind of psychosis hallucination issue lol :P im a pretty weird guy so thats a warning also lol im interesting in psychology, art, singing, dancing, most kinds of music, and literally so much other stuff that i cant possibly put all here bc then this intro will get boring and too long LMAO i will say stuff that makes it seem like im not ok and all i ask is that u do not dm asking about it unless i explicitly say that i need someone to vent to

tw for sh nd ed stats dont like then dont read ffs sh tw - ive been cvtt!ng since 5th grade - ive hit styro - ive been sh free for about 6 months - ive cvt on my thighs, chest, stomach, arms, nd knees ed tw - ive dealt with afrid, ednos, mia, nd ana - started taking shit seriously earlier this year - im 5'2 / 157cm - gw: 100, hw: 131, lw: 116, cw: ??? dni!! - any form of -phobic, -ist, -ism that is inherantly hateful - anyone over the age of 30 - people who arent ok with serious dark topics - bee and pupycat haters

interests!! - kpop (2nd, 3rd, nd 4th gen) - bee and puppycat - 4chan - anime - psychology - video games (hzd, hfw, d2, cod, r6s) - music (metal, rnb/soul, edm, white girl pop) my tags!! pupmaxx post pupmaxx posting pupmaxx asks pupmaxx rant pupmaxx vent pupmaxx reblog anyway thats me!! i hope u enjoy ur time scrolling thru my blog :))

[painfulpipes]

special fx practice

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u ready?

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ok

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the splotches r me blocking out birthmarks and small tattoos that culd identify me lol

[alasstairs]

why can i literally not even be mentally ill right

like. so i realise that im disgusting in literally every way possible right

so i decide to at least Try to fix myself by finally just letting myself "relapse" into an ed since i already have the mindset of not deserving food or any sort of resource [relapse in quotes bc i Technically started developing one when i was tiny and my bro caught on and stopped it within like a couple weeks so idek if that counts]

so tell me why i decide to at Least not get any snacks and start skipping lunch and/or start cutting back on my meals and i literally cant even do that like i just fucking failed within a day

and i decided that like ok may as well make up for it Somehow and decide to try to hurt myself and i fucking fail at that too because turns out it hurts more on ur stomach and i was only able to get a couple styros and baby cuts

like what the fuck i literally cant even hurt myself right

and killing myself is unfortunately not an option atm so like wtf am i meant to do here

like obvs im still gna try to get on with not eating but like i honestly lowkey dont think im gna get anywhere [mostly bc i still live with my parents and itll be Really weird if i even just gradually start eating less and not eating lunch n shit n theyd more or less have me stop]

and i wna vent to my partner so bad but they dont deserve that [they dont deserve to date me in general like how could i do that to them they deserve so kuch better]

not to mention kinda the whole point is that i should stop taking up space in general and stop bothering everyone and wasting their effort so naturally the only option left is to vent to random people on tumblr ig

[vixendestroyz]

my sc4rs on my right collarbone and chest area have faded way too much, so I suppose that'll be the next spot. it was mostly styro last time so I guess I have to just commit a little more, I just worry about the structures in this area. but it's also like... genuinely my fav place for sc4rs, I LOVE having sc4rs there. (this is a really risky area to cvt, plz do not do this lol)

[moistcigs]

HELLO! [BLOCK DONT REPORT.]

my name is charlie, this is officially my third shblr account (i’m losing my mind!)

he/him, nb lesbian, taken, fourteen, bla bla other stuff…

i mostly baby cvt, though sometimes it’s baby styros, and at the moment i won’t be able to upload anything new as i currently have nothing to do that with 💔

i have adhd, autism, gad, and ocd, along with arfid

tagging so i can maybe get some mutuals!!

[bloodie-babie]

so i was messing around with my bf and hit him, i didn’t mean to hit so hard but he got all silent after and i knew i fucked up. so as per usual, i went to the bathroom and cut. i feel like i have to punish myself i guess i don’t know. he texted me while i was in there saying “come out, i’m not stupid, i know what you’re doing.” so i did. we talked a bit then he asked how bad it was i said not bad. (mostly baby cuts and possibly a styro, 12 cuts total since i was stopped). he told me to show him, which he had never done before. took me a while to lift my sleeve up to show him. dear god the fear in his eyes was indescribable. i’ve never seen that look on his face before. i almost started crying but held it in somehow. he then told me to tell him where the blade was and i eventually did and he flushed it. he also said how he’ll be doing weekly checks on me cause he knows i can easily get another blade. i’m not sure how long that will last though, he’s a bit forgetful(not as bad as me though lmao). on one hand i’m happy he got rid of it so i’ll never have to see that expression on his face again but on the other hand i’m devastated because my blade is gone.

[fanggrave]

tw cut pics 😔

mostly baby styros and cat scratches

I just like the blood I’m not focused on how deep all though scarring is nice I much more like the blood so yes I do baby cuts but I bleed heavily so

[pienpup]

debating if i wanna do a shit ton of styros (baby styros mostly..) for this sesh or try to hit beans again. maybe a lil deeper this time ...