#i mostly do styro

[painfulpipes]

Used to be @pipes-and-pains but I think they nuked me or something? Idk. Anyways read my bio and I am okay with dms lol. My backup will be @pipesnpains ok? I post my cuts because I want attention and validation and I like my cuts and want to share them and I like the community. I am bpd possibly something else too idk i am also a morally questionable person.

I am mentally ill so don't be shocked when my mental illness does it's thing lol.

So far I've had 4 blogs. Idk never back down never what? Lol.

Definitely looking for moots lol.

[prismarine-dungeon]

doodled some ocs belonging to @ghoulbread!! they are so cool to me im spinning them

[mmuggzzz]

even if i mostly do one-swipe styros, I love all my little beans <3

[vixendestroyz]

my sc4rs on my right collarbone and chest area have faded way too much, so I suppose that'll be the next spot. it was mostly styro last time so I guess I have to just commit a little more, I just worry about the structures in this area. but it's also like... genuinely my fav place for sc4rs, I LOVE having sc4rs there. (this is a really risky area to cvt, plz do not do this lol)

[starxxombie]

intro :p

hii im new to shblr (not really, js my first time interacting) and i wanted to introduce myself!!

name: star

pronouns: he/they/she

im a fairly experienced cutter (ive been cutting on and off for three years) and my usual depth is regular styros

im too much of a wuss to do beans (if any1 has any tips dm me….)

DNI IF: homophobic, racist, transphobic, ableist, if u’re one of those people who think cat scratches aren’t “real” sh, and if ur a creep in general

things i’ll post: mostly vents, maybe some cut/scar pics if anyones interested?

im diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and i also have therapist suspected audhd

im super into dunmeshi, tlou, art, pyschology, bugs, marine animals, and cutting (duh)

[hecateash]

Hey guys! So i have a SH question

Im an an avid cvtter (been doing it for abt 12 years) and i have always done it on my arms and mostly styros.

So ive recently moved to doing it on my thighs and have built up some scar tissue. I started by doing styros but then realized baby cvts hurt more during healing (which i like). But I took a break for about a month and so now when i do baby cvts it like doesnt hurt anymore afterwards when theyre healing.

Does anyone know why this may be happening??? Its upsetting that theres not much pain 🥲

[chaotic-crisis]

Intro I guess

I don't know how long I'll have this blog cause knowing me I'll delete it in like a week but whatever

You can call me Chaos ig I'm 20 and transmasc and use he/it mostly. This is a blog solely for me to vent and rant and be able to interact with sh, ed, and traumatized shit without ruining my other accounts with it

I'm autistic, adhd, ptsd, bpd, npd, EDs and other shit

I don't like interacting much with the sh stuff because deep styro and the "beans" makes me so uncomfortable to look at to the point of nearly gagging. Good for you if you do/like that I just can't

When it comes to ED stuff I use other people's starting weight as motivation for me to ⭐️ve cause I'm usually like twice their size, so here's my gw shit (also I'm 5foot3)

SW: 235lb

CW: 237lb*I'm pissed

GW1: 200lb

GW2: 175lb

GW3: 150lb

GW4: 125lb

UGW: 120lb

My UGW might get lower if I have something come up, but for rn this is it

Anyways, there we go. Also, if anyone has tips feel free to comment on my posts, reblogs allowed too

[anonloveshim]

intro <3 READ B4 INTERACTION

TW for edz, h0rny shat, sh, drvgz, all those bad copin mechs (mainly ed and random vents abt my life)

hey im maxx (any nickname with maxx- in it is ok!!) and welcome to my blog!! i basically post whatever i want but i mostly vent here :)) my pronouns are he/him/it/its/pup!! im a FtM puppykitty kin (no i dont have did or osdd) please block dont report i love my lil vent space bc its all that i have :') i suspect i have bpd and audhd and some kind of psychosis hallucination issue lol :P im a pretty weird guy so thats a warning also lol im interesting in psychology, art, singing, dancing, most kinds of music, and literally so much other stuff that i cant possibly put all here bc then this intro will get boring and too long LMAO i will say stuff that makes it seem like im not ok and all i ask is that u do not dm asking about it unless i explicitly say that i need someone to vent to

tw for sh nd ed stats dont like then dont read ffs sh tw - ive been cvtt!ng since 5th grade - ive hit styro - ive been sh free for about 6 months - ive cvt on my thighs, chest, stomach, arms, nd knees ed tw - ive dealt with afrid, ednos, mia, nd ana - started taking shit seriously earlier this year - im 5'2 / 157cm - gw: 100, hw: 131, lw: 116, cw: ??? dni!! - any form of -phobic, -ist, -ism that is inherantly hateful - anyone over the age of 30 - people who arent ok with serious dark topics - bee and pupycat haters

interests!! - kpop (2nd, 3rd, nd 4th gen) - bee and puppycat - 4chan - anime - psychology - video games (hzd, hfw, d2, cod, r6s) - music (metal, rnb/soul, edm, white girl pop) my tags!! pupmaxx post pupmaxx posting pupmaxx asks pupmaxx rant pupmaxx vent pupmaxx reblog anyway thats me!! i hope u enjoy ur time scrolling thru my blog :))

[painfulpipes]

special fx practice

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u ready?

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ok

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the splotches r me blocking out birthmarks and small tattoos that culd identify me lol

[alasstairs]

why can i literally not even be mentally ill right

like. so i realise that im disgusting in literally every way possible right

so i decide to at least Try to fix myself by finally just letting myself "relapse" into an ed since i already have the mindset of not deserving food or any sort of resource [relapse in quotes bc i Technically started developing one when i was tiny and my bro caught on and stopped it within like a couple weeks so idek if that counts]

so tell me why i decide to at Least not get any snacks and start skipping lunch and/or start cutting back on my meals and i literally cant even do that like i just fucking failed within a day

and i decided that like ok may as well make up for it Somehow and decide to try to hurt myself and i fucking fail at that too because turns out it hurts more on ur stomach and i was only able to get a couple styros and baby cuts

like what the fuck i literally cant even hurt myself right

and killing myself is unfortunately not an option atm so like wtf am i meant to do here

like obvs im still gna try to get on with not eating but like i honestly lowkey dont think im gna get anywhere [mostly bc i still live with my parents and itll be Really weird if i even just gradually start eating less and not eating lunch n shit n theyd more or less have me stop]

and i wna vent to my partner so bad but they dont deserve that [they dont deserve to date me in general like how could i do that to them they deserve so kuch better]

not to mention kinda the whole point is that i should stop taking up space in general and stop bothering everyone and wasting their effort so naturally the only option left is to vent to random people on tumblr ig

[moistcigs]

HELLO! [BLOCK DONT REPORT.]

my name is charlie, this is officially my third shblr account (i’m losing my mind!)

he/him, nb lesbian, taken, fourteen, bla bla other stuff…

i mostly baby cvt, though sometimes it’s baby styros, and at the moment i won’t be able to upload anything new as i currently have nothing to do that with 💔

i have adhd, autism, gad, and ocd, along with arfid

tagging so i can maybe get some mutuals!!

[bloodie-babie]

so i was messing around with my bf and hit him, i didn’t mean to hit so hard but he got all silent after and i knew i fucked up. so as per usual, i went to the bathroom and cut. i feel like i have to punish myself i guess i don’t know. he texted me while i was in there saying “come out, i’m not stupid, i know what you’re doing.” so i did. we talked a bit then he asked how bad it was i said not bad. (mostly baby cuts and possibly a styro, 12 cuts total since i was stopped). he told me to show him, which he had never done before. took me a while to lift my sleeve up to show him. dear god the fear in his eyes was indescribable. i’ve never seen that look on his face before. i almost started crying but held it in somehow. he then told me to tell him where the blade was and i eventually did and he flushed it. he also said how he’ll be doing weekly checks on me cause he knows i can easily get another blade. i’m not sure how long that will last though, he’s a bit forgetful(not as bad as me though lmao). on one hand i’m happy he got rid of it so i’ll never have to see that expression on his face again but on the other hand i’m devastated because my blade is gone.

[vixendestroyz]

Hi' I think a few days/weeks ago u answered an ask abt cvtting over scars, and u mentioned that it was harder to keep heavily scarred areas clean. Do u have any advice for that, or is it just harder no matter what you do? And similarly, do u have advice for keeping areas that r cvt clean? Like I obviously don't want to b getting soap in my cvts/scabs when I'm showering but at this point I don't think I have fully/properly cleaned my thighs in like a year bcuz they've always got smth healing on them that I don't wanna get soap in, which is obviously not really good lmao.

And sorry if u don't wanna b giving advice/getting asks like this! U just seem very knowledgeable abt this stuff and searching online has only brought up "how to remove scars, nice clean smooth skin now" type shit lol. Absolutely feel free to ignore this if u want to or it makes u uncomfy /gen

hi hi!

So for cleaning highly scarred areas, you just basically have to be more diligent and careful. for my fully healed sc4rs, I lightly exfoliate and then wash with a soft, moisturizing soap after. then I moisturize the scars afterwards. I also put on a lot of sunscreen and try to keep them covered when the sun is out. highly scarred areas just pick up more dirt and grime cuz they are an uneven, oily, unpredictable surface with a bunch of dips and crevices for shit to get into. it's like one of my biggest annoyances with long term $H

for cleaning healing cvts, it gets complicated. for babies, styros, or fully scabbed beans I honestly would just wash my whole body in mild unscented soap (like dial) if you have a beans cvt that isn't fully scabbed, I would try my best to avoid getting soap in it, but it won't kill you. just be sure to rinse it well afterwards. then pat all ur cvts dry, possibly rinse with saline as well if if feel you need the extra security, and then put on some Neosporin. if it's beans and it's still open, only put on the edges of ur wound, not the inside. I would then cover them again if they're still open with nonstick bandages.

I know how annoying constantly having something healing is. if anything is deeper than beans, I honestly think you should try your best to get stitches and follow their aftercare instructions for that. I haven't healed anything deeper than beans since I started actually doing aftercare, and while I've healed things deeper than beans without medical help as a teen, I don't want to say how I did because it was irresponsible

also the products I specifically use for scar care are mostly from Lush, I use the Sticky Dates soap and the King of Skin for moisturizer. I don't have a specific scrub, I just get the cheap shit from Marshalls low-key.

for cvt aftercare I specifically use dial clear hypoallergenic, the same thing alot of ppl use with tattoo aftercare. honestly, if you don't hit deeper than styro, tattoo aftercare is pretty close to how you should take care of urself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to ask any clarifying questions!

[xfang-is-deadx]

Kinda sad I only do baby cuts. Like... I'm too squeamish to actually do the cvtting for styros but I think I could handle the aftermath.

Mostly I just wish I had more scars. I want to look sick enough. I want to be sick enough.

Also if I had more visible scars they might distract from my very clearly disordered* skin

*physically disordered skin, not mentally.

[coffeecups-n-chemicalswirls]

Intro ~ read b4 communicating

TW: 3D & $H ~ PLEASE BLOCK DON'T REPORT

Name: Ashe/Alex you can call me either

they/them pronouns| Also a minor (5teen) 0_0

I like to say that I'm pretty chill, and I truly try not to judge no matter what. I'm also rlly weird, but I'm always down 2 talk, so PLS feel free to msg me!! More info below if ur interested

3D & $H WARNING

3d stats/info:

Height: 5'6"

Hw: 184 lbs

Sw: 180 lbs

Cw: 169 lbs

Gw: 149 lbs

GW: 139 lbs

GW: 126 lbs

Ugw: 115 lbs

Started trying to lose around May 2022

Had arfid since I was 7

Struggled with BED at 12

Turned into m1a when I was 13

Started r3str1ct!ng around August 2023

Did omad for my entire 9th grade year w/o realizing

Trying to recover

$H info:

Started cvtting around 2021

Started bvrning a few months ago

I have hit styro (never beans)

I relapse every fall/ quit during summer so I don't get caught

I have scars on my arms, thighs, collarbones, and ankles

mostly babies, styro on my thighs (I first hit styro on my arms)

DNI:

An1 who has an opinion on what other pple do??? It's not ur life.

An1 who has mdni on their profile. Don't u check?

ppl who post nfsw content. I don't want to see that shit. (text is fine)

those who may already be triggered by mentions of substance abuse/trauma/mental illness/ and $h

ppl who don't wanna hear me vent. (I will)

Actually abt me~

I'm a marauders stan 🤞

(that's up here, cus it's the only hyperfixation I didn't already list)

General interests:

Writing (books/journal/poetry)

reading (plss send recs)

shifting (realities if ur into that)

collecting things that are so stupid, they're wonderful

feathered animals 🦆

smoking weed (idk if I can say that here)

space/anything outside of earth 🌛

I also play the ukulele (but not well)

and I love collecting music

TV shows/ movies:

Spiderman

Ruby Gloom

Invader Zim

Danny Phantom

The Umbrella Academy (I haven't read them yet but I rlly want to)

South Park

Twilight

Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Degrassi 🫶

Criminal Minds

Oliver and Company

The Breakfast Club

Donnie Darko

Alice in Wonderland

A Nightmare on Elm St.

Books:

The Hunger Games

Winterwood

Harry Potter

Twilight

And apparently that's it, you guys I rlly need book recs...

Artists:

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE‼️

Billie Eilish

La Dispute

The Used

Escape the Fate

Taking Back Sunday

Never Shout Never

Forever the Sickest Kids

Hobo Johnson

Anthony Green

Hawthorne Heights

Fall Out Boy

Death Cab for Cutie

A Day to Remember

Yung Gravy

The Cure

Movements

Say Anything

Pierce the Veil

Mayday Parade

Circa Survive

Jack Kays

Danca Gavin Dance

Hot Mulligan

Lil Peep

The Smiths

Neck Deep

The Front Bottoms

Paramore

Modern Baseball

The Frights

Queen

Gorillaz

Cavetown

Blink-182

[angeldustanalog]

the embarrassment. the humiliation. you left it all behind.

screaming into the void, like a fucking. a fucking cuck. a snowflake. reactionary piece of trash. entitled and detached and ignorant.

no one understands self destruction the way that i do. no one. i’m so special, i’m so fucking special. i’m so pretty, sensitive, strong. arent i?

say i’m not special. fucking say it. you won’t.

i am the edgiest boy alive. i have sacrificed my dignity the way that no one else is willing to.

in ways i refuse to show you.

i don’t want you to know the things i have done for praise. for attention.

did i even get what i wanted? it doesn’t matter.

most people don’t know, they can’t imagine. i explain some of the things i do as a litmus test. they lose their goddamn minds. i excuse myself quietly.

i have debased myself in the ways i have because i am not real, i am not a person. that was decided years ago. it doesn’t hold any weight now. it’s just the truth of the matter.

i tell them i don’t feel like a person, and i guess hope that they disagree. and they don’t. mostly they don’t. i don’t remember a counter argument. i have always been this way.

borrowing time is not the same as having time. it’s not a longer life. it’s an extension of the dmt trip that even the most straightedge among us are treated to when we die.

do they even appreciate it?

give their dimethyltryptamine to me. give it here. i deserve it. i fucking deserve it.

i am the prince of styro cuts and duct tape stitches, butterflies that have long since degraded.

not by necessity, but by the way my mother looks at me when i say something she doesn’t like. the fatalities in her gaze, the miscarriages. i don’t know if she knows that i can see them too.

the way that it’s assumed i could just get past this, if only i tried harder. its not that i don’t know that’s what they think.

how am i supposed to tell people? i know what happens. i know. when i film the things i care about? my plushie friends? when i film the bugs, when i film the trash accumulating?

when i film the fire hazards? the spray paint and the hairspray and the candles lighting my anxious gaze?

when i film the neurological symptoms i am developing from the substances i cannot just decide to stop indulging in? vomiting so hard i taste fresh blood? its not from my stomach. it’s from the screaming.

when i film the lesions on my skin? i don’t want them to tell anyone else but i wonder what would happen if they did.

they aren’t healing the way they should be. the staff tell me i can go to the ER if i feel like it. i don’t understand what that means. my life coach tells me to go right now now, to get antibiotics or i could lose my arm, if things went really sideways. the staff don’t really have an opinion. they just want me to be medically ok. it’s easier for them if i’m ok. i want so desperately to be ok.

but i don’t want to go to the doctor, but i don’t want to lose an arm. i don’t want to deal with this. i don’t know what this is.

what about the other residents? what about the people who don’t have someone on the outside? what business do i even have to wonder? how could i even help them?

it’s best not to think about.

when i film how rapidly these symptoms progress? when i smile and look as cute as i ever have? cuter, even? as sick as i ever have? will that be ok?

what if it’s attributed to mental retardation? what if it’s my fault? brain damage? what if it’s all my fault? what if it’s all my fucking fault? it’s always my fault.

what if my brain doesn’t make me see things? what if my delusions aren’t bizarre?

what if my brain tells me that the half note shift in the way you say my name is indicative of a plan to abandon me? what if the way you can’t keep track of my pronouns is a secret message?

what if im wrong and they are all just genuinely trying their best?

what if they think they understand? but they don’t? what if they don’t at all? who else could it be? i’m at the top level of privilege. i can leave campus alone. i can sign out, for up to 3 hours. i am Successful.

do they know? do they know the accolades i have achieved?

that any amount of detachment is better than physically destroying my neurons? better than submitting to a level system to determine my human rights?

any amount of space between me and the way i want to feel? even if that was the 1:1 reason, would that make it ok?

no one tears themselves to pieces, the way that i do. no one doesn’t care, like me. not without help. and, oh god, did they help.

i always have another choice. i always have other options. this is not insanity. if it was just insanity, then things must be reevaluated.

things beyond my sadomasochism? do you want to eschew that as an explanation? do you want that level of chaos in your world? you couldn’t even attribute it to sex.

it might have been, years ago. but the situation has evolved. i don’t know if they noticed. i did. it makes sense to me, but i don’t have to like it.

i became a person, i became a light green little sprig of cellulose. the stem of a crocus. the spine of an angel. easy to crush, infinitely replaceable.

they tore me limb from limb. they did not ask.

you did. i asked if that was what you were doing to me and you told me it was not.

these fragments of me, these parts of me are intertwined. to pull on one is to shift them all, if not to topple. i am not a mountain. i am a tower, out of place in my timeline. beautiful, dirty, rich. a pile of rubble. glistening, expensive rubble.

i do not hard shift. i do not understand the way that the ones inside me are. you have to kill me, kill everyone. they don’t make sense. they resist making sense. they want to confuse, they want it more than anything.

prime has decided, we have agreed it’s his choice. to be explicable is to be too kind.

we would rather die. he would rather die. i would rather. who? it doesn’t matter.

to be these different things is not reconcilable. i can take care of them, we can, he can, it can, i can manage these auras.

you should know that i am hurtling towards impact. do with that what you will.

it’s just a simple matter of giving up the only thing that makes life worth living.

how hard can that be?

redacted only left their entire support system. 95% of their friends, their psychiatrist, therapist.

i only left the fraying infrastructure behind. surely that would strengthen it, right?

all of this was my decision. all of this was my call. angel wasn’t here. he didn’t exist yet. neither did prime.

prime isn’t even the reason.

some parts rotten, some parts on the cusp of thriving. i cut them all, do you even understand?

i have no way to end this. none of us do. i don’t know anything about this post. i won’t remember. who is i. i don’t know. we don’t know. frameworks. what fucking ever. don’t ask about this. it won’t go well.