#i miss when the quarantine was 10 days instead of 5. it still should be

[newfeeling77]

i hope my breathing and energy level improves soon im supposed to go to nyc on friday n i currently cant walk or stand for very long without feeling terrible

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 "𝚘𝚑"

PART 8: CAT BOYS 

... it’s late into the night and y/n is streaming with one of her new friends, sykkuno. running on caffeine and redbull is apparently not enough because she falls asleep on his shoulder 45 minutes into their cyberpunk gameplay. at that exact moment, twitter goes up in flames.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (because i was threatened by thirsty anons) ─── soc. media + written fiction!  ─── word count: 1.8k author’s note: here it is...what yall been asking for. literally had to add a new part for this but i loved this idea sm i couldnt just nOT NOT do it. i tried writing this with the same energy as the smau lmao so expect chaos as always. hope you enjoy it and as always lmk what u think! hopefully yall wont go too feral, but tbh thats prolly too much to ask for xx EDIT: srr for the fucky format tumbler dot com is being lame 

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.   ҉   next.

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Such a back and forth continues for the better part of the day as you get ready. Corpse only whines a bit when you forget to text him back - you are packing, and your prestigious cat ears you bought from Amazon for 10$ deserve exquisite care - which only fuels your seemingly bottomless hunger for mischief, leading to you sneakily ignoring him more. When your phone lights up with a message, you giggle, giddy with excitement. Your laughter only gets louder and more erratic, to the point where Rae had busted down your door and threw her Hello Kitty plush at you - one you’d gotten her, mind you! - and told you to just “Shut the fuck up!”

Ungrateful. You know not everyone can appreciate your sense of humor, or stand your hyena like cackle, but that was uncalled for and you told her as much. Noting the mess your room is in (more than usual, that’s for certain), she leans onto the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest, pretty brown eyes twinkling curiously, “Where you off to?”

“So I had this idea-” You start, but are promptly shut down with a raise of her palm.

“Already know it’s a bad one.”

Insulted, and hurt, you clutch your heart. As if she had not mocked you enough today, “Rae...The hell, that’s so mean...” You mutter, face scrunching into a soft frown, “I only wanted to tell you what me and Syk thought of.”

“Oh?” Intrigued, she raises a brow, “Continue.”

“Gee, thanks for letting me this time.” You mumble, rolling your eyes, “So. We thought we’d stream together. The catch? In the same room! We’ll be playing Cyberpunk. Gotta cash in while the hype is still up.” You add, making her snort, “And, ya know, the whole cat boy business...We’ll be wearing matching cat ears. Admit it, I’m a genius.”

She’s quiet for a moment, mulling over your words; you can practically see the gears in her head turning. She glances around the room, then briefly at you, strangely apprehensive. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

Well, that is definitely not what you expected her to say. You figured it’d be more along the lines of you’d be one ugly cat. “Huh?” Is all you manage to stutter, “What do you mean?”

She gives you a look, one all people give when something is so plainly obvious, “Y/n. You do know the stans will go wild, right? And you do remember our conversation involving Corp-”

“Nope!” You exclaim cheerily with a bright smile to match. You don’t want to think about that. The relationship between you and Corpse is strictly platonic, and besides, seeing Twitter loosing their shit is always funny, and you never miss an opportunity to mess with your fans. Sykkuno is also a good friend, albeit a new one. This supposed flirting from Corpse’s end Rae deduced was nothing more than her projecting her feelings onto the situation. She always liked shoujo anime and was probably thinking one was happening right in front of her. Not a chance. Corpse was just being a friendly crackhead. Your energies mesh beautifully.

Like, beautifully in a strictly friend way. Absolutely nothing more than that.

She gives up, naturally, arguing with a wall would be more productive than arguing with you. You’re such a (Zodiac sign).

“Well,” She mumbles, ticking her head to the side, leaning off of the door frame and turning to leave, “Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”

Your grin melts as soon as she leaves. Glancing at your bag, you shove your last necessities in with newfound hesitance. 

Nothing bad will happen, right?

...Right?

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It is well past the generally set “appropriate” time to hang out, but since quarantine, what is appropriate anymore anyway? You’ve never been in Sykkuno’s apartment, but now that you’re here it’s...strangely him. Every corner seems tailored to his specific requirements. It’s cozy, and pleasantly warm - it’s a bit chilly in LA, as surprising as that is.

He’s even shyer than you remember him being. And a whole lot more awkward, but in an endearing way, a way that makes you want to laugh and try to reassure him that it’s just you and he has nothing to worry about. While you hung out only once, the history you share is rich and tender. From him following you on Twitter and subsequently prematurely ending your stream, to kidnapping a stray cat affectionately named Juan. His long lost brother, Juan (no the Second, just Juan), lives in your Minecraft server. 

His stream room is sadly bare. There’s an appalling lack of merch or fairy lights. Not even led-lights. It’s a good thing you brought your own. As you try to decided which color would be best - his signature lime green, reminiscent of his adorable Among Us astronaut, or, perhaps, mischievous violet? - he boots the game and tweets out a quick “streaming with y/n in ten mins! come one come all!” 

“You should probably tell your fans, too.” He mumbles, looking somewhere above your shoulder. You settle with cherry blossom pink. Glancing at him, you shrug.

“Ah, do it for me, please?”

“Oh!” He hiccups, “Uhm, I wouldn’t want to pry and I don’t know your password and-”

“It doesn’t have a password.” You had removed it, knowing something like this would happen. Bless your foresight, you did not want him to know it was demonspiitinmymouth. Before he could protest further, you rush to the nearest mirror to put on your cat ears and make sure they aren’t crooked. You look absolutely adorable. The cat boys in your dms will go feral. Hell, you might just go feral looking at yourself! Sykkuno is not ready. No one is. This will be a stream to remember.

When you return (with flourish of course), he’s anxiously fidgeting by his computer, his own little cat ears, one’s he wore for the Halloween stream, peaking out from his silky brown hair. You have to suppress a squeal. When he catches you gaze he gives the kindest, sweetest little smile.

“They, uh--” He points at you, then decides it’s rude to point, bringing his hand back to his lap, then clutching his mouse, lastly releasing a sound stuck between a chuckle and a wheeze, “suit you, uhm, a lot!” He finishes with a resolute nod, quickly spinning in his chair and away from you.

This is the reaction you desired. All is going according to plan. Is this what God feels like? If not, then you pity her. She’s missing out.

Taking a seat next to him - he had been gracious enough to haul you a spare chair from the kitchen - you draw closer, and he, instinctively, shrinks away with another nervous chuckle. 

“You have, uhm... I-I didn’t look!” He quickly chimes. You raise a brow, “Uhm, unopened messages? From Corpse? He texted you when I was tweeting! I didn’t mean to look, I’m sorry-”

Instantly, you recall the famous vine with the scandalous “daddy chill” line, though refrain from saying it aloud. You love havoc, but you’re not evil (Rae would ardently disagree with you, though). Instead, you just shrug, “’S fine, don’t worry. I’ll text him back later. Let’s start?”

He nods, but doesn’t look at you. Granted, you don’t think he glanced at you even once since you returned, “...Okay. Ready?”

“Ready!”

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You’re much too immersed into the game and Sykkuno’s twitch chat to even check what’s happening on Twitter, but your estimated guess is that everyone’s going crazy. The stream chat is unruly as well, but missing the signature Twitter spark. Most of the chaos is bravely lead by your fans. Sykkuno’s, much like the man himself, are too nice to scream so unabashedly.

Perhaps you excitement had been a bit too taxing, perhaps drinking 5 coffees and 2 energy drinks today and not enough water are to blame for the sudden drowsiness you’re feeling, but you can’t focus on the swimming chat or the abundance of cut-scenes at the starting point of the game. You steadily draw nearer and he, more composed in front of his audience, doesn’t react. About ten more minutes of hoovering by his shoulder and muttering soft commentary, and you feel yourself slipping.

The last coherent thought you have is a few choice words directed at caffeine itself for having the opposite effect of you at the worst time possible.

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You float in oblivion for perhaps ten minutes at best. Once you awake with a startle, you shower Sykkuno in shy apologies and he quickly reassures you that it’s fine and that he didn’t mind at all!

“Though,” He adds after a thoughtful pause, “not sure if it was very, uh, comfortable?”

His stream chat spams uwu and variations of similar kind. The stream continues for a few more hours before the both of you wish everyone a good night. 

While you planned on wreaking absolute havoc, this sudden falling asleep was unexpected. You pondered the consequences of such an innocent, unplanned act whilst ubering home, fearing to check your phone which by now was blowing up with not only Twitter notifications but also Rae’s angry messages that vaguely read “what the fuck y/n”. Within the past two hours she had left 57 messages on all platforms collectively, including 7 calls. 

Corpse’s last text was over three hours ago.

Now that’s strange. Worry festers quickly. Briefly glancing at your surroundings - the pretty glimmer of passing street lights, neon signs, familiar buildings - you decide that it’s time to check what kind of nuclear explosion you’ve caused.

Your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach as you scroll past the hundreds of tweets and mentions. Scan through Rae’s messages. 

You had failed to prepare ahead. Every explosion of such kind is followed by nuclear winter. And Corpse’s lack of messages feels especially cold.

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Not you smiling like a fucking idiot reading his last message! You shrink into the backseat, afraid the driver will accidentally look into the rear-view mirror and see you a bit too happy before asking questions. Good news? Yeah, but it’s not like it’s his any beeswax! In the words of Rihanna, just shut up and drive. 

This argument had not yet happened, but you’re preparing, just in case. 

As you think up of potential scenarios, your eyes drill into Corpse’s goodnight text. You’ve looked at it enough. Time to turn the phone screen off. Leave the app, at the very least. When the screen dims you instantly press on it to wake it up. This is embarrassing. Maybe the deadly amount of caffeine really did mess you up, big time. Your heart races in your chest, painfully almost. You feel a bit sick. Worst of all, you can’t stop smiling.

A notification from Rae makes you snap out of it. Ah, one more demon to deal with. 

However, before you talk to her, you really need to tell Twitter that you’re not with Sykkuno. And apologize to Sykkuno as well. 

At least Corpse doesn’t hate you.

Fucking hell, just exit the chat you idiot!

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[kireimarkeu]

To You; l.dh

+another repost! did not make any changes to this work :) p.s this is one of my fav fics i have written :)

summary; bored in quarantine, your boyfriend decides to film himself telling you how much he loves you.

3k words

this was like… ½ edited LMFAO so there might,,, be mistakes…??? this was so tiring to make omfg, enjoy!! lol 

also i mixed the name donghyuck and haechan bc i couldn’t choose one lmfao ok!!! bye gn enjoy!! :)))))))

warnings: there’s a word f*t in it

+Day 1 3:34PM

Haechan adjusted the camera, making sure he could be seen. Once he was sure the camera was reflecting him properly, he leaned back against his gaming chair. 

“Um,” your boyfriend started, looking everywhere but the camera. “This is awkward,” he says, looking back at the camera.

“I started this, since we won’t be able to see each other for a month- because of quarantine,” he explains, “I honestly have no idea what I’m doing right now,” he laughs. 

After a few minutes of pure silence, your boyfriend opened his mouth to continue speaking, “I just feel like— I never really show much love to you?” 

There were times where your boyfriend would purposely avoid saying ‘I love you’ or avoid holding your hands whenever the both of you were outside. Honestly, you didn’t really mind, knowing Donghyuck was never the type to show affection. 

“It’s hard,” he says truthfully, “The boys knows how much I love you, and it sucks that I don’t know how to show you— or tell you, that I love you.”

Haechan bit his lips nervously, “and, I think this video is- or will prove that I love you?”

He wasn’t sure if he was even making sense at this point. 

Your boyfriend groaned, throwing his head back, covering his face with his hands. After a while, he looked back at the camera, “you know what, babe? Just watch the whole thing, okay?”

+Day 4 11:47PM

“Hi,” he smiles, letting out a huff, “this is kinda late, I spent the whole night playing games,” he says guiltily, playing with his fingers, looking away from the camera.

He knows that you didn’t like it when he would stay up until ungodly hours just to play games with his friends. You hated how he would put his health aside just to play games. 

He brings his hands up to brush his wet hair. 

“Uh,” he sighs out loud, pouting. “I feel bad for staying up late last night, so I’m going to spend the whole night with you today,” he laughs. 

Another moment of silence pass. 

“I don’t know what to say,” he whines. 

He sat there in silence, staring at the ground, figuring out on what to say. Should he tell you about his day?

“Well, I woke up at 5PM today,” he tells you, “I ate dinner with my family— mom cooked chicken today!” he says happily, “Then, I went to call you for a bit because I missed you a little too much,” he pouts. 

He scratched his head, “then I showered and now this-“ he says, pointing to the camera. 

“Um, it has been 4 days and I miss you too much,” he says truthfully, “facetiming isn’t working, I think I’m going crazy,” he laughs. 

+Day 5 7:38PM

He was talking halfway, talking about how much he admires you when his phone started ringing. 

“Oh?” he turns around to grab his phone from his bed. A smile formed on his face when he saw you facetiming him. 

He turned to the camera to show his screen, “Baby, you’re calling me,” he giggles before quickly answering to your facetime. 

“Channie~” you whine cutely when your boyfriend answered your facetime, “what are you doing, hyuckie?”

Usually, your boyfriend would complain whenever you would speak in a cute voice, but he secretly likes it. He secretly likes being babied. 

He looks at the camera that was recording the both of you. 

“Nothing,” he lies, “why did you call me, loser?”

You huff, raising your arms so he could see you laying on the bed. “I’m bored, hyuckie~ entertain me~”

He leans back on his chair, “wanna play games with me?”

Your face beam at his words, “Okay! I’ll get my X-Box ready now.”

Your boyfriend was the one who bought for you the X-Box. Well, it was an old version, but you loved it, nonetheless. It wasn’t like you played daily— you only played with boyfriend. 

“I’ll call you in 5, baby,” he tells you, already walking over to turn on the tv. 

“Kay, bye-bye, love you, Hyuckie,” you say in a baby voice, bringing your phone closer to press your lips on the camera. 

Donghyuck scrunched his nose in disgust, “yeah, yeah,” he says before ending the call. 

He quickly grab the camera that was still recording, he moved the camera closer to press a kiss, “I love you too, y/n.”

+Day 7 3:01PM

“Do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear— Oh my gosh, I feel like a youtuber,” he cackles. He shook his head, focusing back to what he was saying. 

“So, do you remember when you gave me the teddy bear?” he asks, “wait,” he says, standing up to grab the tiny teddy bear that was sitting on his bed. 

You had bought him the bear during your 200th day with him. Donghyuck didn’t really give the reaction you wanted. 

“Do you not like it?” you had asked him, disappointment laced in your voice. You didn’t dare look at him, upset with yourself that you had bought something that he didn’t like. 

“No, no!” he quickly replied, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his chest, the other holding the tiny bear. “I love it,” he says. 

You knew it was a lie. He didn’t seem to like it. 

“I love it,” he says, “I know I didn’t show like I did at that time, but I need it with me every time I go to bed.” 

He scratches his head, regretting his actions that has had happened months ago. 

“No one has ever bought me a bear before,” he explains, “and when you bought it for me, it just felt— I felt, I felt happy? I felt fulfilled? Do you know what I mean?” 

“I really wanted to tell you that I loved your present, especially when you had bought me another present a few days later,”

‘it was to make up for the previous present’ was your reason. 

It broke his heart when you said that while handing him a couple bracelet. He wanted to tell you how much he loved your gift, but it was so hard for him. 

“I hated myself for not being able to tell you the truth, it’s hard—and it still is,” he sighs, “I hope by doing this, I can assure you that I love you..?” 

+Day 10 9:34PM

He was in the middle of filming himself when his mother comes in. 

“Donghyuck-ah, what are you doing? Do you want some fruits?” his mother asks, looking at his son, not noticing the camera perched on the dressing table. 

Instead of answering his mother’s question, he grabs the camera to film his mother. 

“Eomma, say hello to y/n,” Donghyuck says. 

His mother raised her eyebrows in surprised, “hello my dear y/n~ how are you?”

Your boyfriend giggle from behind the camera, “tell her how much you miss her,”

“I think I miss you more than Donghyuck does,” she jokes. “What is this for, Donghyuck-ah?”

Haechan placed the camera back on the dressing table, turning to look at his mum.

“I’m making a video for y/n until quarantine is over,” he explains as his mother walks in, wrapping her arm around her son’s shoulder. 

His mother’s heart warmed at his son’s words. 

“You’re growing up way too fast, our Donghyuck~” she cooed, pulling your boyfriend’s cheeks as he whined in pain. 

You would also pinch his cheeks almost every time the both of you are together. Whenever you had Donghyuck’s cheeks between your fingers, he would whine, pulling away from your grip.

“Eomma! I want strawberries!” he shouts after his mother left his room. 

He turns his attention back to the camera, “Anyways—”

+Day 17 2:35AM

“I really like your eyes,” Haechan confesses dreamily, “your eyes are the colour of shit,” he jokes, “but they’re so shiny, baby,”

The first time he realizes he’s in love with your glimmering eyes was when he brought you out on a date to star gaze. You were staring at the sky, a smile plastered on your face, amazed at how beautiful the sky was. 

When you noticed your boyfriend staring at you, you turned to face him. Your eyes captured his heart. How could someone have such bright eyes?

“Oh! And when you smile, you make my heart beat like crazy!” he chuckles. 

The first thing that caught Hyuck’s eyes when he had a crush on you was your bright smile. He believes that was the main reason that he fell for you. How you would always have a beaming smile plastered on your face everywhere you go. 

He thinks it’s adorable. 

The small dimples that was on the side of your lips whenever you smile. 

And your adorable little laugh he adores so much. 

Or the little birthmark you had on the corner of your mouth. 

After talking about you for a while, he let out a satisfied sigh, “I’m so whip for you, you know?”

After 17 days of making videos for you, it started becoming easier for him to show his love for you. 

“Everything you do makes me go crazy, do you realise that?” he asks you, “do you realize that everything you do makes me happy? No, you don’t have to do anything, your presence makes me melt.”

He laughs at how he was flirting, “you’re probably laughing too,”

His laughter died down, letting out a tired sigh, “well, it’s late and I’m going to go to bed before you nag at me some more,”

He let out a yawn, “goodnight y/n, I love you so much, you don’t know how happy you make me,”

+Day 20 2:56PM

This time, it was different. 

He was filming himself at McDonalds drive-thru. 

“Guess who’s this for?” he asks the camera, his gaze on the road. “Yes, you.”

He turns to look at the camera for a second before paying attention on the road, “you didn’t ask me to get you anything but I wanted to get something for you,” he explains. 

He was lying, this was just an excuse to see you, even for a second. Even if it’s 6 feet apart. Even if there was a glass between the both of you. 

“I think you know the reason why I’m buying this for you,” he says, referring to the food. “To make you fat! You’re right, y/n,” he jokes. 

That was also a lie. You tend to eat less whenever you’re stressed. 

After he found out that you had a project, he knew how stress you would be, and decided to get food, making sure you eat healthily. 

Your boyfriend would never fail to remind you how much he loves your body. No matter shape or size. He has always made sure you feel loved with who you are. 

“I think you know the real reason why I’m coming over,” he adds. When he reaches a red light, he turns to look at the camera with a pout, “I can’t help it, I miss you too much, y/n,” he says in a baby voice. 

He grimaces at his actions, shaking his head disapprovingly, “I am never doing that ever again.”

A few minutes later, he reached your house. He had texted you to that he was waiting for you outside. 

It took you a while to come out, but when you did, you had one of his hoodies over your body. 

He loves it when you wear his clothes, it makes him feel all giddy. 

‘One day, I’m going to wear all of your clothes’ he would say whenever you steal his clothes. 

You walked over to his car, “what the hell are you doing here, dummy,” you ask him, maintaining the distance. 

He grabbed the bag of food from the passenger’s seat and passed it to you from the window of his car. 

“Brought you food, you unappreciative bitch,” he tells you while you walk up to grab the food from him. 

You open the bag to see your favourite food, “my favourite food, too?!” you squeal, “Haechan best boyfie~”

He rolls his eyes, “yeah, yeah, go and finish your project,”

You nodded, the smile not leaving your face. 

“I’ll facetime you later?” he asks. 

“At 11,” you confirmed. 

He nods, signalling for you to go back in. You blow a kiss to your boyfriend before turning around to go back in. 

He quickly fishes out his camera, filming you walking back in your house. 

“Look at my baby all happy because I brought her food,” he says, “enjoy your food, pretty,”

+Day23 6:07PM

“Day 23,” he breathes out. “I didn’t expect it to go by so fast,” he blurts out. 

He puffs his cheeks out, “I don’t want to stop making videos for you, but you would just make fun of me for being soft,”

He had started growing content on making videos for you every day. 

“But at the same time, I can finally see you after a month, babe!” he says happily. “I can finally hold you in my arms, we can kiss until the world ends, we can also do it,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Well, he can’t lie he did miss doing it with you. 

He sighs, “anyway, when we can finally get together, we can watch movies, then come back to my place and we can cuddle!”

He missed that. 

Personally, Donghyuck preferred going over to your place but you preferred going to his place because he had games and a huge bed, and it was just comfortable. 

“Ahh,” he groan, “I miss you like crazy! I think I have to end this video early because I wanna facetime you right now,”

He grabs his phone on the table to call you. 

“Okay, bye babe, I love you, I’m going to talk to you now!”

+Day 25 4:03AM

“Hi,” donghyuck greet the camera. 

Anyone could realise he wasn’t in the best mood. 

It took Donghyuck a while to start talking, “we had a fight earlier today,” he says, his voice lace with disappointment and… hurt?

You had texted him just an hour ago, ranting about your homework. When Donghyuck replied to you a minute later, you got angry at him because he was staying up again at ungodly hours. 

He didn’t understand why you were so angry because you were awake at the same timing as he is. 

“I’m going to give you space, because it’s what you need right now,” he says. “I hope you know I still love you no matter what,”

He bit his lip hesitantly, “I know you don’t like it when I stay up with the boys, but I don’t like you staying up to finish your work either, baby”

He closes his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I hope you don’t get too stressed over school, eat healthily, and make sure you rest from time to time, babygirl,”

He lets out another sigh before reaching for the camera, “I love you,”

+Day 28 7:36PM

 Haechan purses his lips, staring at the camera, “today is a bad day,” he starts. 

Today he had woke up a little earlier than normal after talking it out with you a few days ago. He decided to get up early and help his mom with cooking, which only resulted him in getting scolded by his mother for making a mess. 

After that, he decided to play games with his friends, however despite playing for 5 hours straight, he didn’t get a single win. 

Now, he has tried to contact you, but you have not replied to him. Probably busy with school. 

He let out a huff, “take a break y/n,” he whines, “focus on me too~”

Letting out a pout he shakes his head, “kidding babe, get those A’s!”

“Well, now I don’t really have anything to do so I’m going to facetime you again, bye babe!”

+Day 30 10:18AM

“Hyuckie!” you call out, running to your boyfriend. When you reached him, you threw your arms around your boyfriend’s neck, making him stumble back a few steps as he grabs on your waist. 

You hid your face in his neck, breathing in his scent. He smells so good.

“You’re not going to let go of me until I say so,” you mumble, tightening your grip around his neck.

He chuckles at you, “I won’t let go of you until you say so,” 

Donghyuck was satisfied with having his arms wrapped around your waist, his face covered in your hair. 

After a few moments of the both of you just holding each other, you finally pull away from your boyfriend. 

“Y/n,” he says, making you hum.

“Wait,” you stop him, making him stare at you with wide eyes as he froze on the spot. 

“Can you kiss me first?” you ask. His eyes soften at your request. Your fingers trace his bottom lips, “I miss your pretty lips.”

He smiles at your words and nodded. Pulling you closer by your waist, he pressed his lips against yours. Your hands rest on his chest while you both share a needy kiss. 

After a few minutes, you pull away, breathless with crimson red cheeks.

Haechan raised his eyebrows as he resumed, “I made something for you,”

You gasped, “what is it?”

He fishes out a CD player. The CD held videos of him explaining how much he loves and appreciates you throughout the whole month. 

He passes you the gift. 

“Watch this at home?” he tells you. 

You grab the CD from his grip, “okay? What is this all about?”

“Just promise me you’ll watch it at home?” he asks again, staring down at you. 

“I will! I will!” 

After making videos of himself for 29 days straight, Donghyuck have concluded that he was so utterly in love with you. He was so in love with you that he didn’t know how to express how much he adores you.

[timelyowl0]

Brittana/Faberry Fic Recs

Hi! Here’s a list I compiled of some of my all time favorite Brittana and Faberry fics! I was originally going to separate the list by Faberry and Brittana, but many of the stories have both, so instead you can just read the pairings listed for each. They are sorted by multi-chapter complete, multi-chapter incomplete/in progress, and one-shots. Each title is a link you can click on to take you to the fic. All credit goes to their respective authors :)

Also, here’s a quick rating guide in case you needed to know:

GA/PG - General Audience

T - Teen

M - Mature

E - Explicit

NR - Not rated

That’s all, I hope you enjoy!

Multi-chapter (complete):

Between The Lines (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Rachel invites Brittany and Santana to a sleepover. Brittany/Santana with a healthy side of Rachel/Quinn

The Only True Paradises (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The tortuous evolution of Santana's feelings toward Brittany. See also "Pas de Deux," a companion piece from Brittany's point of view.

Pas de Deux (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Companion piece to "The Only True Paradises." The evolution of Santana and Brittany's relationship from Brittany's perspective.

Faithfully (T) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "That moment when Santana had sworn, even though she and Brittany were standing at opposite ends of the raised platform…that she could still feel Brittany's energy zinging toward her, like they were connected on the same current." Brittana, Seasons 1 through 5, as told in five increments.

My Girlfriend's Sister's Keeper (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany isn't the only Pierce that has Santana wrapped around her finger. Santana's life with her two favorite people.

Mariposa (M) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Like a butterfly, Santana's journey out of the closet occurs in stages. From the first time she heard the word gay to the first time she flew free from her chrysalis, she can remember everything.

time passes, in love and in seasons (T) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittana, from the end of junior year and throughout senior year, told through the seasons. Mostly follows Season 3 canon.

Brittana Shorts (GA) - 8 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A collection of Brittana-centric short stories

it’s nice to have a friend (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - They're six when they first meet. It's the first day of school in a crowded classroom and Santana finds herself drawn to the new blonde girl. OR The story of how Brittany and Santana meet and all the significant moments in their lives following the first time they see one another. - sequel

A Matter of Miserable Time (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "His voice was deep, quiet, and sure, so calm compared to the last words they had exchanged. Her voice was only a faint whisper as she questioned the man she hadn't spoken to in three years.'Papi.'"

Influence (M) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is perpetually cast as the dumb blonde, but the reasons behind her demeanor are more complex than that. She looks back on her childhood, her relationship with Santana, and the life-altering effects the decisions of her youth had on her future.

It’s Not Like I Wanted This to Happen (T)- 101 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Quinn takes a very drunk Rachel home from a party...encounters the Berrys…and herself. This story contains a huge amount of Brittana and a lot of Puck.

Rough Beginnings (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn decides she needs to end this obsession once and for all, but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. Sometimes it's so much better. Faberry.

Never Asked to Feel Your Halo (T) - 45 Chapters (1/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - The thing was, neither of them wanted this-whatever it was, but since when did the Universe care about what Rachel or Quinn wanted? Their cards had been dealt the moment they'd entered that shower together. Now it came down to how well they played them.

Standing on the Edge Dancing in the Flames (M) - 34 Chapters (2/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Life isn't all singing and dancing, not even in Glee club. And what if being on top of the pyramid just gives you further to fall. When everyone feels like a frienemy and fathers and faculty and babies and boyfriends complicate EVERYTHING, how are you ever supposed to get anything right? (Book Two of the 'No Halo' series)

The South Side of Anywhere (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Sometimes you fall in love with your eyes closed, and when you open them, the person is someone you never thought it could be. It started with letters, and turned into Faberry.

Somewhere in Between (M) - 77 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Imagine if Faberry happened instead of Finchel. This is a re-telling of every episode as if Faberry were cannon. Each chapter will chronicle each episode starting at the very beginning. Some things will change and some will remain the same. Longer description in first chapter. Also side Brittana. As well as Quinntana friendship, and Puckleberry bromance.

Didn’t See it Coming (M) - 63 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - AU HS. After a devastating breakup, Quinn turns to Rachel in need of a friend, and ends up with so much more. - "If, one day, someone asks me how it all started; I'll have to say it was a granola bar that finally did me in." Faberry.

Bet You Didn’t Know That (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Faberry. What she doesn't know, she doesn't need to find out.

Take Me As I Am Seasons 1 & 2 (T) - 48 chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The incredibly true adventures of Quinn and Rachel, starting from Sectionals Season 1. It's just like watching the show, if Faberry were the central couple and everything revolved around them! Brittana & Klaine co-star in supporting roles.

Take Me As I Am Season 3 (T) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The continued adventures of Quinn & Rachel as the starring couple of Glee. Some integration of canon events, but mostly this is the story of Faberry and their world! Klaine & Brittana co-star in supporting roles

Blink and You’ll Miss It (M) - 31 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry discover they like each other. Against all odds, will they be able to get together before they tear each other apart?

You’re All I Need (M) - 17 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - A Faberry romance story, set when they are both single but I haven't specified when as I'm not even sure myself but most of the events are from series 3. Points of view will change every few chapters. And that's probably the worst description you've ever read but yeah I can't be bothered to change it.

quarantining or how quinn might lose it, once for all. (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It starts like the worst horror movie ever but instead of being trapped in the basement of a creepy 50-something year old, Quinn finds herself being trapped in Rachel Berry's basement.

Once More From the Top (T) - 22 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and others - Here's what you missed on Glee: McKinley's Glee Club reformed under the direction of Will Schuester. Rachel tried to recruit the Cheerios but that ended up being a total disaster. It's cool though because she heard Finn Hudson sing in the shower and he's actually really good. She successfully recruits him and now the Glee Club has enough members to be a real thing.And that's what you missed, on Glee!

Outside Hearts (M) - 37 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel Berry's world is about to be turned upside down when one of Hollywood's most sought-after young actresses, Quinn Fabray, abruptly and mysteriously leaves her fame behind, moves to Ohio and tries to have a normal life while attending McKinley High. (Faberry w/ some Brittana)

I See That Ragged Soul Take Flight (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Mike/Tina, Kurt/Blaine and Sam/Mercedes - Ensemble cast piece exploring what happens after Season 3. Rachel, Santana and Kurt are in New York together. Quinn is at Yale. Explores adulthood, friendship and long-distance relationships. Eventual Faberry. Also contains, Brittana, Klaine, Tike and Samcedes content, plotlines back at McKinley, and frequent use of Santana POV.

All The Best (T, but I would rate M for descriptive scenes of suicide, eating disorders, rape, etc.) - 80 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - After spending the entire summer away, Quinn is eager to get back to normal and make the best of her junior year. Excited to put everything behind her and start fresh, she struggles to establish a new normal. But when she's least expecting it, Quinn finds support in the most unlikely places and is forced to confront the very feelings that landed her where she is in the first place.

take these broken wings (M) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Sam - Begins in Season one and follows Quinn through her life should she have chosen to keep Beth, realize she is gay, and fall in love with Rachel Berry. The main romantic relationship will be Faberry, with a bit of Hevans and Brittana, but apart from Faberry it will be very heavy on friendship and Quinn&Beth oriented.

the state of dreaming (T) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel couldn’t help the guilt that bubbled in her chest when she watched Quinn get a prom photo alone. Determined to make it up to her, she invites Quinn over for a sleepover. It becomes a routine. Set immediately after 2x20 (Prom Queen).

Enough to Believe (T) - 2 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Years after Shelby ups and disappears from Lima with Beth, a blonde girl shows up on Rachel and Quinn's doorstep, armed with a lot of questions, and very familiar cheekbones.

you and her loathing this cruel world (M) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Quinn/Rachel, minor Kurt/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - "Of all the girls he had to have sex with (which really, were none), of course it was someone with a painting of Jesus above her bed, so he knows that his only hope in hell that this will go away is in a negative test result." Season 1 AU; Kurt is pretty sure he's gay, but would like to make sure. Quinn Fabray has similar questions running through her mind. They put their theories to the test, with very much unintended consequences. - sequel

I’ve Been Trying to Reach You (T) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Santana/Puck, Rachel/Jesse and Sam/Tina - After falling pregnant in sophomore year, Quinn Fabray plummets from the top of the teen hierarchy at McKinley High to the very bottom. In an effort to give her a chance to start over, her parents transfer her to Carmel, a private school in the area with a blossoming arts program. It's supposed to be a new beginning, but what she doesn't count on is immediately becoming enemies with the most popular girl in school: Rachel Berry, co-captain of Vocal Adrenaline.

The Lopez Manifesto (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - santana starts writing a rachel/quinn fanfic for everyone at McKinley. it’s also extremely popular as everyone awaits her weekly updates. (usually based on what the girls are doing that week.) quinn is the last to find out and is… pissed.

my heart’s a leather jacket I am waiting to give to someone sweet (T) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is McKinley’s resident broody rebel who doesn’t see much point to high school, and who, completely incidentally, just so happens to be kind of a math genius. Santana is Lima's golden child, the perfect and unapproachable only child of public figure Dr. Lopez. She’s also the high school’s enigma; no one actually knows anything about her aside from the fact that she’s cold, distant, terrifying, aloof, and willing to eviscerate anyone who looks at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for her, Brittany is about to get a crash course in the complete mystery that is Santana Lopez when she is asked—or, more realistically, forced—to be Santana's math tutor.

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (T) - 39 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Kurt/Blaine and Tina/Mike - S3 AU. Brittany doesn't believe in unicorns anymore, Rachel's dreams are as dead as the world, Santana is no one's hero…and Quinn? Quinn's just trying to breathe. The world as they knew it is gone -now all they can do is survive. Zombie Apocalypse. Faberrittana Friendship. Slow Burn Faberry. Character Death. COMPLETE

Simple Parts (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - That awkward moment when you travel thirty years forward in time and find out you're married to your high school nemesis? Yeah, it totally sucks...except...maybe it doesn't.

The Lateness of the Hour (M) - 12 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "Brittany has much less to lose. She always has."

half of me (T) - 4 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - a run-in (quite literally) at the bookstore, two broadway tickets, and a seven-year-old in a plaid catholic-school uniform. what has rachel gotten herself into? future AU where quinn has beth and rachel makes it on broadway.

April Fools (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Santana recruits - forces - Rachel to help her prank Quinn. All she has to do is pretend that a love potion has caused her to fall madly in love with the cheerleader. Simple, right? Wrong. Faberry.

Stars & the Moon (M) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - In the midst of dealing with Beth's adoption, Quinn ends up working on a summer community theatre production with Rachel. Hilarity ensues. Just kidding.

Love Me Any Less (M) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Junior year becomes the beginning of something no one expected, and maybe the beginning of something a few can't understand how they ever lived without. Starts mild but progresses to M rating. First fic ever! Faberry.

Better Where It’s Wetter (M) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel and her dads are going on a LGBT family-friendly cruise for the summer and Rachel's told she's can bring a friend. Who else to bring but Quinn?

Like a Seal Upon Your Heart (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - Quinn Fabray is Daddy's little girl and the perfect Christian. She CAN'T be gay. But then her friendship with Rachel Berry starts to change...

Somewhere in Brooklyn (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana and Brittany have been trying to get pregnant for a year without any luck. What happens when a teenage foster child and positive pregnancy test land in their laps on the same day? A unique journey of motherhood ensues.

Multi-chapter (incomplete/in progress):

Everyone's Gonna Know Now (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - 3/4 in series - When Santana confronted Finn about outing her, his response was, "The whole school already knows." That was pretty much true. This story is about the first moment or incident in which each member of Glee - and a few others - discovered Santana's secret.

Be Okay (M) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - “Kurt doesn’t know why he does it. It’s not as if he and Santana had ever had anything resembling a friendship, but he feels drawn to her, feels connected to the anguish in her voice as she realized that her biggest secret in the world was about to be revealed.“ This is the evolution of Kurt and Santana’s friendship taking place over a series of one-shots.

looks like a girl but she's a flame, so bright she can burn your eyes, better look the other way, you can try but you'll never forget her name (M) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - santana lopez writes down the story of her life for a reunion project set for the glee club by none other than rachel berry. aka, a deep dive into santana's life told through her eyes. very santana/brittana centric.

No One Left to Blame (M, read tags) - 30 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray is well-versed in keeping the truths of her family and her past firmly hidden away. But, her efforts prove to be moot when Rachel Berry, armed with her own secrets of the past, arrives at Dalton Academy and manages to turn both their worlds upside down - or, perhaps, right way up. Faberry. Trigger Warnings.

I’m not breaking, I won’t take it (M, read warnings) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor Quinn/Santana - Santana gets up and starts toward her, “Jesus, what happened to you?” she mumbles, but she's softer than she was moment before. It's obvious that she’s concerned. Quinn chokes down a sob and then admits, “There’s something wrong with me.”“Hey, listen. Whatever it is, you’re going to be fine." Santana is still not getting it, but she’s rubbing soothing little circles on Quinn’s shoulders. There really must be something wrong with her too, because then Quinn is lunging forward and then she’s kissing Santana. Quinn feels her freeze, but then Santana relaxes and she’s kissing her back. or, a study in quinn fabray.

no love like your love (T) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Blaine/Sam - Following the death of her mother, Rachel Berry assumes guardianship of her six-year-old brother, Daniel. After a cross-country move for his sister's job, the first friend Danny makes is a soccer-playing, lucky fin having, firecracker of a girl named Beth.

Song of Mine (M) - 18 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana Lopez, the new Music teacher at a religious private school in Indianapolis, meets Brittany Pierce, the resident Math teacher. A love story with a happy ending. Promise.

Girls Over Flowers (NR) - 14 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana - Dalton Academy—a school of prestige, refinement and the country's wealthiest students—houses the famous F3. When "commoner" transfer student, Rachel Berry directly offends F3's leader, Quinn Fabray, she becomes their target. Mayhem ensues.

we were built to fall apart (then fall back together) (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel and Quinn haven't seen each other for seven years and neither thought they'd see the other again. They certainly didn't see themselves starring together in a Broadway musical, as each other's love interests.

A Different Life (E) - 33 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Finn/Rachel and Kurt/Blaine - Canon!Divergent Brittana. Santana and Brittany move to New York after high school. Everything is going perfectly until Brittany gets a phone call that changes everything. Seven years later, Santana has a daughter and she and Britt haven't seen each other...Canon until 3x16ish. No Louisville, no second senior year.

you get too close you’ll get a royalty high (so breathe it in to feel the love) (T) - 9 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Sam/Mercedes, Mike/Tina, Kitty/Artie and Kurt/Blaine - "Alright," she began uneasily. "I'll do it. I'll go to the dumb school."Her parent's smiles beaming back at her were almost enough to make her think this could possibly be a good idea, but the nerves surging in her stomach said otherwise. Boarding School/Royalty Brittana AU

One-shot:

Tattoo (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "She soaks it in for a few seconds—this night, this place, these friends, this family room floor, this girl—before she says it back." Post-3x11. Brittana.

Eden (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana teach Joe about love. 4K

Riding in Cars With Girls (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - After Quinn quit Glee club and joined a band Rachel feels the gap Quinn has left and sets out to get her back, whatever the cost. But what happens when Quinn's only condition involves her car and Rachel's lips on hers every day at five? Punk!Quinn

and things we’re all too young to know (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Five vignettes set after the point when Brittana become girlfriends. Not too many people would guess it, but Brittany knows that loving Santana is the easiest and best thing in the world to do; Santana is just the best person to love.

My Friends Say That I’m Falling In Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana spend the week leading up to Valentine's Day giving Mercedes grief about her date. Brittana romance, Brittanacedes friendship. Mouseverse. One-shot.

And What Would You Say If I Wrote the Whole Thing Out for You? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Some things have changed a lot since Sam left McKinley and some things haven’t really changed at all. Set circa 3x08.

The Landslide Brought Me Down (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Our girls’ story. Sweet lady kisses, Landslide, their separation, the night of Prom Queen, Songbird, Santana’s Abuela’s rejection, the night after Santana learned about the political ad, Brittany’s senior year falling apart, the lights of New York, and other scenes.

seven (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A companion piece to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Takes place after the first scene in the second chapter - can be read separately to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Basically just childhood fluff that examines their friendship and the items they connect to their friendship.

baby you don't gotta fight (i'll be here til the end of time) (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - She sees red for all of last period, a strange twinge of pain in her chest because all these people think they know Santana but they’re all wrong. or: three times Brittany tells people they've got Santana all wrong and the one time she tells Santana

The Unicorn Tapestries (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - We lie on our stomachs on my pale blue sheets, a book lying open in front of us that we bend our heads over, sunlight all over the page and bringing bits of gold out in your skin..

But You Could Sing (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Why am I always the one who tells bedtime stories? Because your stories are prettier, BrittBritt. But you can tell real ones. Like what?

Colors (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The sunlight in my room shines from the south. The way I know: when I lean far out my window, the sun rises on the side where I can feel my heartbeat, and sets in the direction of my writing hand.

You’re Something Else (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - 'Quinn gets the impression she and Rachel are finally on the same page about what may or may not be happening between them. All she really knows is that it's colourful.'

Raising the Bar (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - Quinn never expected that the best matchmaker would turn out to be a lumpy pullout couch.

the one with the friends reference (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, minor/implied Brittany/Santana and minor/implied Kurt/Blaine - "You can see it. Quinn standing in front of you, as close as she can get without touching you and saying, 'Are you attracted to me?'" Faberry. Post-season six.

Blame it on the Alcohol (or the gay, whatever) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - “I can’t believe what you did to my body, I used to have abs!” - In which one sentence is totally incorrect and causes chaos and havoc and Faberry feelings to happen. Also known as drunk Rachel is kyoot and Finn is stoopid.

could you pass in love? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - “'Quinn Fabray, I will divorce you, don’t think I won’t!'” In which Rachel and Quinn get married, sending them into a possibly out-of-character feelings frenzy . Season Three. Faberry.

Do You Wanna Know How This Story Plays Out? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It's not her fault that you feel the way you do about women, you know that, and you knew that then, too. But you've been angry at Rachel Berry for making you feel things you wanted to lock away for years, and it was far too easy to put all of the blame on her to avoid dealing with your own feelings. It wasn't and isn't fair, but it was about protecting yourself and it makes it a little easier to bear. - OR - After everything implodes with Finn, Quinn moves in with Rachel. They make out a lot without ever talking about how much more it means to both of them. Introspective Closeted!Quinn POV from second-person.

you succeed at being mine (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - Sequel to 'you and her loathing this cruel world'.

This Must Be The Place (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana is eight years old when her Tio Carlos joins the Army. Or the less-cracky-than-you-might-expect Glee/The Losers crossover where Cougar is Santana's uncle. (If it tells you anything, i nearly titled this 'Ohana Means Family.')

This Modern Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "How do you know when you're dating someone?"

Beth’s family tree (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - "Now that being said, my family tree is composed by both my biological family and my adoptive family" Beth explains easily enough as she clicks the mouse. But then the next slide appears and the teacher gapes at all the information, names, colours and arrows in the diagram.

pictures of you, pictures of me (hung upon the wall, for the world to see) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - "Quinn looked around her room again. She'd never noticed it before, but she had a lot of pictures of Rachel." or: a faberry oneshot set between seasons 1 and 2 where Quinn reflects on a series of moments with Rachel that led to where she is now

anything could happen (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - She stared down at the test in her hand. The line was faint, disappearing depending on the angle. It was possible she was just seeing things, but still. She pulled out her cell phone, tears running down her flushed cheeks. It felt like the earth could open up at any second, just swallow her whole. The line rang. Once, twice, she cursed quietly. She sucked in a breath as she heard a click signifying the call had connected."Hello? Rachel?" Her voice cracked. "Quinn. I need your help." A Faberry-centric rewrite of Rachel's season 4 pregnancy scare

Frannie’s View (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - When Frannie was a child she did everything she could to make her father happy. She was a daddy’s girl through and through. She was quiet and never disrespectful. She went to church every Sunday with her mother and father and prayed every night. Frannie had a lot of friends at school and was popular and well liked. She did very well in school though her participation grades were always low. Daddy told her women were supposed to be quiet and always treat their husbands with respect. She was a princess and he was the King. He ruled the house. Frannie absolutely hated the way her father treated her little sister. Frannie desperately tried to change Lucy. She thought if Lucy could be better then their father would be happier, nicer. OR A journey from Frannie's perspective of Lucy/Quinn and Quinn's sexuality and later feelings for Rachel.

According to Judy (PG) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - How Judy Fabray deals with Quinn's infatuation with Rachel.

[cocochannel00]

Quarantine Date

Boyfriend!Harry plans a date in the era of social distancing...

A big PSA to all of my lovely followers: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE WHEN IN PUBLIC. DON’T PUT YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE AT RISK

Harry knew how important your work was to you. You were an essential worker during the COVID pandemic and had been working rigours 12+ hour shift at the hospital. You had barely seen or talked to Harry over the last couple of months, mainly because he had been locked down in LA for the first half of quarantine and you had been basically living in the hospital lounge. You had been dating Harry for almost a year now so you knew what it was like to have him far away, but this time it felt different. This time all you wanted to was spend your day off curled up in bed with Harry and watch as he tried to imitate Heath Ledger's accent in 10 Things I Hate About You instead of watching it by yourself. I guess you’d just have to spend the day wallowing in self pity with your tub of ice cream. 

You were half way through your movie when your phone rang. Too lazy to look at who’s calling to picked up the phone and spoke a quick hello.

“You. Me. Date tonight. No excuses” the person said through the phone.

“Why Tom Holland I’m flattered, but I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend already” you replied back as a joke.

“Ha ha very funny (y/n) and besides I know you don’t have Tom’s number yet. But seriously, I’ve been home nearly a week and I haven’t seen you in person.” Harry spoke.

“Haz, 4 patients on my floor tested positive for COVID this week. I don’t want to expose you or god forbid Anne or Gemma to it”

“We can do a social distance date, I’ll plan the whole thing,” Harry practically begged.

“Harry I don’t know...” you stated with a sigh.

“I know today is your day off and you’re probably curled up in bed with some ice cream right now so hear me out. You stay in your room and relax for the rest of the day and I’ll spend the day planning our date tonight. Please, love, I really want to see you even if it’s six feet apart and with a mask” Harry pleaded.

“Ok ok fine I’ll go on a social distancing date with you but only if you promise to stay 6 ft away” you said sternly.

“I’ll bring a measuring tape so you can double check” he replied as you laughed.

“Wonderful, I can’t wait. Do I need to wear something special to this date tonight?” You asked curiously.

“That’s a surprise for later”

“Harold you know I hate surprises” you whined over the phone.

“I know that’s why I love them. Now I need to go, I have lots of planning to do for tonight. Love you”

“Love you too, H. See you tonight” you replied before hanging up the phone.

You were excited yet nervous to see Harry in person. Seeing his face through zoom was one thing but seeming all of him in person without being able to run up and hug him could very well crush you on the spot. All you knew for sure was that thinking about this date was take up your entire day. You weren’t one for grand cheesy gestures and you hated being the center of attention so you prayed that Harry didn’t go overboard on the whole evening.

You groaned quietly as you rolled over the the other side of your bed (usually Harry’s side) and checked the alarm clock to see it was only 5 pm so you had at least another 3 hours of wallowing in self pity until Harry came back. For once you just wanted the clock to move faster. Sinking back down into your sheets you ran a hand through your wet hair from your morning shower. You knew you should have brushed it earlier so that it didn’t frizz , but you hadn’t been expecting company and you didn’t really care what you looked like under all your PPE at the hospital. Just as you were beginning to detangle your hair you got a message from Harry.

Harry: Wear pajamas tonight, we’re going extra comfy. Love you - H

You smiled at the message and placed the phone back onto your lap. Nothing could ever put a smile on your face faster than Harry’s name popping up on your screen. Back when you first started dating and you had been stressed about going back to work after visiting him on tour he would send you pictures of puppies every morning just to cheer you up. Now he’s resorted to other much less innocent tactics to try and cheer you up when you’re have a bad day, but you couldn’t complain (especially during quarantine). With all that said, Harry continues to surprise you daily so to say you were excited for your date night would be an understatement. The only thing getting you through the wait was knowing you needed to take at least a 2 hour nap before he got there otherwise you would pass out during your date tonight.

——————— /// ——————— // ——————-

You woke up to the sound of “Kiwi” blasting in your ear as the timer you had set went off. Carefully, you untangled yourself from your excessively long phone charger before check the time and realizing you only had ten minutes to get ready. How many times had you pressed snooze in your sleep? You were in too much of a rush to figure it out as you raced to your closet to put on a comfy pair of pajama shorts and an old college t shirt. Even though Harry said it was going to be casual you decided to still go through the effort of putting on a bit of concealer and foundation to try and cover up the bags under your eyes. You were just rubbing in your moisturizer when you got another text from Harry.

Harry: I’m downstairs, don’t look out your window. Come to the backyard when you’re ready because our date night is about to begin. - H 

You grinned widely at the message and quickly finished putting on the rest of your make-up while also running a brush through your hair. Your hair had definitely had better days but it was too late to do anything besides put your hair in a bun to try and keep the frizz down with the growing humidity. With one last look in the mirror, you went downstairs to go meet Harry.

You carefully made your way to the door and grabbed one of your cloth masks off of the counter before putting it on and opening the door to your backyard. Your porch had been covered in fairy lights and two mountains of pillows had been placed on opposite sides of the backyard. In the middle their stood a giant sheet with a projector set up underneath it. It looked like something out of a rom-com and you were shocked that Harry was able to set all of this up without you knowing. Just as you were about to call out Harry’s name you saw him walk in through the back door with a mask on, a bottle of wine in his hands. He was wearing one of your favorite striped shirts that you said made him look like Where’s Waldo’s cousin. 

“I know it’s not exactly how I would have liked to see you on our first date in months, but I made sure to measure out the 1 meter (6 feet) for the cushions” Harry stated as he placed the bottle of wine down on a table next to a box of pizza. 

Your eyes began to water at the sight of him in front of you. It had been so long since you had seen him in person and so much had happened in your life in the last couple months that all you wanted to do was run up and wrap your arms around him. You impulsively put your arms out and took a couple of steps forward before you remembered that you couldn’t touch him and put your hands down. A tear fell down your cheek just as Harry looked up from the bottle he was attempting to open.

“Y/n what’s wrong love. Did I do something wrong?” He asked cautiously as you shook your head.

“Just missed you a lot. Wanted to give you a hug, but I don’t want to risk it” you replied softly as you took off your mask and wiped the stray tears from your face. 

Harry slowly took off his mask and gave you a sympathetic smile, “Wish I could run up and hug you too, love. Missed you so much these past couple of weeks. Thought I was going to go crazy with Jeff and all that baking in LA”.

You chuckled softly at his efforts of lightening the mood before scrunching your nose the extensive facial hair you didn’t remember seeing before.

“When did you grow that fuzz ball on your face?” you questioned sarcastically as you made your way over to one of the pillow piles. 

Harry scoffed at your remark and ran his hand across his face, “Excuse me miss [y/l/n] but this has taken me nearly four months to grow and I’d say it is much more than just a fuzz ball” 

“You’re right Har, you definitely grew it out to pornstar level. Proud of you baby” you said with a giggle as Harry glared at you. 

“I did not come here to get harassed about my new look” Harry grumbled jokingly as he gave you his cheshire smile. 

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of your tremendous accomplishments. Thank you by the way, for putting all of this together. This was really sweet. Oh my god, stop, is this your fuzzy sweater” You said with a squeal as you put on his multicolored cardigan he had placed on top of a blanket. You inhaled the smell of his Tom Ford cologne and smiled.

“I figured since I can’t give you a hug yet, you could wear that” he replied back as he carefully opened the box of pizza he had placed on a small table in the middle of the porch. 

You moaned softly as you stared at the pizza just a few feet away from you. 

“Why have I never heard you moan like that for me in bed?” Harry joked as you glared at him.

“That was my foodgasm moan. You know damn well I don’t keep quiet with you so I don’t want to hear any complaints. Now, give me two slices of that delicious pizza please” 

Harry laughed at your response as he placed his mask back on and put on some hand sanitizer before placing two piece of pizza on a plate and pouring you a glass of wine. He walked over to you carefully and placed the food and the glass on a tray next to you that you hadn’t seen. You thanked him before placing the tray in your lap and taking a sip of your wine. Harry began to grab himself a slice when you shouted his name and took out your phone. 

“Wait I want to get a picture of you in person. I can’t keep stalking your fans’ accounts to get pictures of you.” you mumbled as you tapped on your camera. 

Harry nodded grudgingly before he took off his mask and began posing with the bottle of wine. 

“I think I could be one of those influencers” he joked as he nearly spilled the wine onto his shirt. 

“I think maybe we should leave that to the pros” you replied jokingly as you curled up into your pillow fort and began munching on your food. 

Harry sat down in the the pillow fort adjacent to yours on your porch. The two of you talked as you ate and tried to catch each other up on anything that you had missed on your various facetime calls. It was nice to be able to see him in person and know that he was okay. You had been so worried he would catch it while in LA and even though he wasn’t in one of the high risk categories you had witnessed several health people die of the disease and you didn’t even want to think about Harry in that situation. After you had both finished your meals Harry decided to put on “10 Things I Hate About You” and proceed to jump up next to the sheet you guys were using for a screen and act out the entire bleacher serenade live. 

You could not keep the smile off of your face that night. Harry had this way of making you forget all of your problems when you were with him and you were grateful to have found someone as caring as him. 

“ I love you H, thank you for a wonderful night” you whispered as the credits rolled onto the screen. 

“Anything for you love. Glad I got to see for a bit even if you did fall asleep on me halfway through the movie.” He replied back with a grin.

“It wasn’t my fault! You made my pillow fort to cozy, how could I resist a cat nap?” you stated as you smiled at him.

“Can’t blame you for it. Got a couple of cute pictures of you sleeping for my lock screen though.” He replied with a smirk as you groaned.

“Harry I was definitely drooling, you need to delete those” you said as Harry shook his head. 

“Can’t do that. Got to show mom our lovely date night”

“Fine, but no one else sees that picture besides Anne. I can’t have Mitch and Jeff teasing me everytime I see them like with the whole ketchup fiasco.” you mumbled as you began to fold the blanket you had wrapped around your body during the movie. 

“Leave everything there love, you need to go get some sleep before your shift tomorrow. I’ll clean all of this up, you just head inside for me” Harry stated as he turned off the projector and began taking down the sheet. 

“Are you sure?” you asked hesitantly. 

‘Yes, love, you need your rest. Go, come on. I can’t have you falling asleep while taking care of your patients.” Harry replied.

You hesitated for a minute before buttoning up the sweater Harry had given you and putting your mask back on. 

“I don’t want to leave here without giving you a hug” you stated softly as Harry looked at you with a small smile.

“(Y/n) if you want a hug all you have to do is ask, would have given you one the minute I got here. Let me grab my mask.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with this? I got tested two days ago for COVID and the last 6 have been negative but I don’t get the results till tomorrow and I don’t want you to get ill” you replied with a hesitant look. 

“Love I think with all of the hand washing and the masks we’ll be okay, but I’ll only give you one if you want it” he said as he put on his mask and adjusted the nose wire. 

“I want one” you said as Harry opened his arms up for you.

You practically jumped into his arms and nearly started sobbing from the first really physical contact you’ve had with anybody in weeks.

“God I love you so much (Y/n)” Harry stated as he tugged you closer and placed a kiss on your temple through his mask.

“I love you too H” you replied back as you closed your eyes tight and tried to hold on as long as possible.

“Good now come on, get to bed so you’re well rested for tomorrow. I’ll come back tomorrow night with some dinner after your shift so we can eat together again. Would that be ok?” he asked as he placed his hands on your hips.

“That would be lovely. I get off at 8 tomorrow”

“I’ll be waiting for you here, don’t worry” Harry stated. 

“Ok, I’ll go. I love you” you replied as you carefully untangled yourself from Harry and slowly made your way inside.

“I love you too. good night Haz” 

“Night love, see you tomorrow”

———————————————————————

@thereal(y/n) Someone tell my boyfriend that he’s not cool enough to be sponsored by this amazing wine

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@harrystyles Tell that to Gucci

@annetwist You two are too cute

@jeffazoff Sharing is caring Harold

Masterlist

[bobbystompy]

91 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2020

Below are my favorite quotes from 2020. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “You don’t have to be new to make new.” - Rick Rubin

2) “He put the beat on and go to sleep then wake up with a verse.” - The Lox

3) “Every opinion is bad.” - Blink-155

4)

(via Twitter)

5) “At the start of every disaster movie, there’s a scientist being ignored.”

6) “Be brave enough to suck at something new.”

7) “Comedy is the only job you can have where you can use everything you know” - Robin Williams via Dave Chappelle

8) “What’s the worst swear word where you live?” - Josiah Hughes

9) “Cookies are a really great way to get everybody to like you for a short period of time” - YSAC

10) “The worst dancer at a wedding is the one who’s not dancing.” - John Mulaney

11) “I never saw the end of the tunnel. I only saw myself running out of one." - Kobe Bryant

12) "A good movie begins as you're walking out of the theater" - Ethan Hawke

13) “When I was young and starting in cinema, there was a saying that I carved deep into my heart which is, 'The most personal is the most creative.’ That quote was from our great Martin Scorsese.” - Bong Joon-ho

14) “Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow” - River Phoenix via Joaquin Phoenix

15) “Thank you -- I will drink until next morning.” - Bong Joon-ho

16) “Men will bury their emotions for decades and then take it all out on children tubing while they drive the boat.” - @krauter_

17) “They help you with the dumb face stuff, but they don’t tell you how to fix it” - Adam (Nate’s friend), on having older sisters

18) “We all had our connections, but it’s not the details themselves that matter, it’s the feeling behind them. There are a million coming-of-age tales. Lady Bird’s secret sauce is how deeply its creator gave a shit. The older I get, the less I care about anything but the sense of a filmmaker’s personal connection to the material. It doesn’t matter what it’s about, what genre it is, or whether it’s genre at all. I only really care that it feels like something the filmmaker had to tell me, and that it was that filmmaker in particular who had to tell it. It has to answer the ‘why are you telling me this’ question, and not just why are you telling me, but why are you telling me.

Lady Bird is a movie that feels like only Greta Gerwig could’ve made. And it’s only because it’s so specific to her that it can be so meaningful to so many people.” - Vince Mancini

19) "I have cast some lonely votes, fought some lonely fights, mounted some lonely campaigns. But I do not feel lonely now.” - Bernie Sanders

20) “Ever hear a Beatles song you haven’t heard before?”

21) “Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.” - Charles Bukowski

22) “You shouldn’t have to hear a band to know if they’re good or not” - Josiah Hughes

23) “I was raised by OGs.  Some of you were raised by IG.  I understand.” - Ice-T

* * *

[Here is where I note the line of demarcation that was the COVID-19 pandemic hitting the US, pushed forward by Tom Hanks’ announcement, the NBA and NCAA shutting down, and, then, the nation itself.]

* * *

24) “There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.” - Vladimir Lenin

25) "Taken together, this is a massive failure in leadership that stems from a massive defect in character. Trump is such a habitual liar that he is incapable of being honest, even when being honest would serve his interests. He is so impulsive, shortsighted, and undisciplined that he is unable to plan or even think beyond the moment. He is such a divisive and polarizing figure that he long ago lost the ability to unite the nation under any circumstances and for any cause. And he is so narcissistic and unreflective that he is completely incapable of learning from his mistakes. The president’s disordered personality makes him as ill-equipped to deal with a crisis as any president has ever been. With few exceptions, what Trump has said is not just useless; it is downright injurious." - Peter Wehner

26) "Epidemics have a way of revealing underlying truths about the societies they impact." - Anne Applebaum

27) “A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a ‘let’s circle back’ guy — who knew?” - Laura Norkin

28) 

(Jojo Rabbit)

29) “The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. - Deadwood: The Movie

30) “All bleeding stops eventually.” - Deadwood: The Movie

31) “Our Father, which art in heaven… / Let him fucking stay there” - Deadwood: The Movie

32) “It’s like a power outage, but we still have power” - Ryen Russillo, on the pandemic

33) “Whenever Sox baseball returns, it’ll be weird to not have Farmer on the call any more. The relationship between a fan and longtime announcer is always built in the little moments. One afternoon, he’s the soundtrack as you clean the garage. On another night, he’s your bookmark for the game as you stand in line for churros or walk down the ramps at Sox Park to try for better seats in the 100 level. A voice like Farmer’s becomes so familiar that you only really notice when it’s no longer there.” - Kevin Kaduk, on the passing of Ed Farmer

34) 

(via Twitter)

35) “In my songs, I try to look through someone else’s eyes, and I want to give the audience a feeling more than a message” - John Prine

36) “Observe everything. Admire nothing.” - Generation Kill

37) “Trump, by that definition, has always been a wartime president -- always willing to sacrifice people he doesn’t know to things he only sort of cares about” - David Roth

38) "Whenever they speak Michael Jordan, they should speak Scottie Pippen." - Michael Jordan

39) "Fiction is a bridge to the truth that journalism can't reach." - Hunter S. Thompson

40) “Airlines sending me “we’re in this together” emails. When my suitcase was 52 pounds I was on my own.” - Mike Dentale

41) “Sometimes you can be the worst source of your own story” - Ryen Russillo

42) “Family is not necessarily blood, but instead who you would bleed for.”

43)

(via Twitter)

44) "This is the deal that Jordan made, knowingly or unknowingly — that he would trade everything he had for everything he wanted. And then, when he won all those things, he found that he had nothing but that.” - David Roth

45) “I’m brand loyal, but the brand doesn’t matter” - Caitie Miller, on why she doesn’t like generic peanut butter

46) “NOBODY shitposts Gene Hackman!!” - Mark Dehlinger

47) “When a man concludes that any stick is good enough to beat his foe with—that is when he picks up a boomerang.” - G.K. Chesterton

48) “You can be appalled forever, but shocked only once.” - Jeff Weiss, on early Eminem

49) “Whether I’m pessimistic or optimistic, the fight’s the same” - David Simon

50) “Freedom can never be completely won, but it can be lost.” - Bernard Simon

51) “Racism in America is like dust in the air. It seems invisible — even if you’re choking on it — until you let the sun in. Then you see it’s everywhere. As long as we keep shining that light, we have a chance of cleaning it wherever it lands.” -Kareem Abdul Jabbar

52) “In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist -- we must be anti-racist.” - Angela Davis

53) “Start as close to the end as possible” - Kurt Vonnegut, on creative writing

54) “You can’t stay woke all the time — that’s insomnia.” - Dr. Cornel West

55) “No, I get it. I’ve dated a lot of Geminis.”

56) “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - John Krakauer, Into The Wild (via Tyler Keller)

57) "I couldn't show them my For You because it's pretty much just lesbian stuff and depression memes" - Maggie Loesch, on showing TikTok to her coworkers

58) "It's 1 a.m. in Slovakia and I've already had one bottle of wine and I don't know how long this press conference will go, so good luck to me." - Marian Hossa, following his NHL Hall of Fame announcement

59) “All I want in life is to go on an Anguilla group trip” - Mandy Gilkes

60) “You miss old friends when you don’t see them, but you miss them more when you do.” - Chuck Klosterman

61) “The only way to appreciate the present is to pretend it’s already the past.” - Chuck Klosterman

62) Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked

(”Everybody's Free [To Wear Sunscreen]”)

Second time that essay’s been quoted on this list.

64) "I mean, it's just human nature to suck up to the people above you, crap on those beneath you, and undercut your equals” - Brian, Family Guy

65) “You never quit a job. You quit a manager.” - Brian Bedford

66) “All the pictures in my house are of people I’m not friends with” - Tracy Cunningham

67) “In order to leave something behind, you have to leave.” - Dr. Herman, Grey’s Anatomy

68) 

(via Twitter)

69) “You can obsess about death if you don’t have to obsess about dying.” - Brendan Kelly via “White Noise”

70) “If it’s right to do, it’s wrong to wait.” - Andy, doorman 

71)

72) “When I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court] and I say, 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

73) "America is mostly people who’ve never left their state saying we have the best country in the world." - Billy Wayne Davis

74) “A writer is someone who knows at least 80% of their writing sucks.” - Gabe Hudson

75) 

(via Twitter)

76) “You’re dead twice” - Brendan Kelly

77) “Perfect is the enemy of good” - Voltaire (via Zach Lowe)

78) “I don’t want to be a savior, I want to be a mirror.” - Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

79) “I get bad Twitter FOMO but not real life FOMO. That just goes to show I need to get off the Internet.” - Josh Thomas

80) “Is there anything you love in life that you engage with seriously that you don't also engage with humor?" - Sam Sutherland, on his relationship with Blink-182

81) “My favorite genre of music is my friends' bands" - Josiah Hughes

82) “Let’s fall in love like both our parents aren’t divorced.”

83) “Seabiscuit may be the only earthling that was on both sides of the stamp.” - Brendan Kelly

84) “There’s no shame in coming in second, except in, like, wars.” - Family Guy

85) “I feel like I experience writer’s block 100% of the time, and when I do write, I have impostor syndrome.” - Phoebe Bridgers

86) “We teach based on what we most need to learn.” - psychologist on Grey’s Anatomy

87) “Having too many choices is the leading cause of stress” - Grey’s Anatomy

88) “I think we've all gravely underestimated the extent to which this year has changed all of us, permanently” - Kelli Maria Korducki

89) 

(via Twitter)

90) “I wonder if people understand why they don’t have polio” - Sandra E. Garcia

91) “Ending songs is terrible, so let’s keep singing” - Dave Hernandez

[masonscig]

first line tag game

thank you for the tag @crackerdumortain !!!!! yours were so much fun to read omg !!!!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some of your favourite authors!

[disclaimer: i write for the choices fandom and some for litg so you’ll see a mix of those fandoms on this list LMAO]

1. stay [twc – mason x sofía]

The first time was casual. She had a knack for musing her thoughts aloud, tossing her harmless opinions out for anyone who’d catch them.

She was good at starting conversations in that way – while he’d never been one for talking.

She never did it with heavy topics, though.

2. thieves in the shadows [choices – blades au – mal x zilyana]

bullets pelted the crates they were crouched behind, wood splintering in every direction. bodies were strewn across the warehouse, the unmistakable pools of blood streaking across the stone.

“raine! to your left!” immy yelled her way, barely sparing her a glance before unloading her clip, shell casings clinking against the ground.

the gun trembled in yana’s hands. she’d shot one before – practice at the gun range, glass bottles in a back alley – but never a live target.

3. if we meet again [choices – open heart au – bryce x spencer] 18+

year one

The ride from the airport to her parents’ home was long and grueling, the slushy ice pelting the windshield barely passing for snow.

It was practically sub-zero outside, a stark difference between the mid seventies weather she’d just left.

4. clandestine [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

“hey. hey wake up –”

she stirred at the greeting, but jumped when he kicked the desk. her face contorted into a grimace, the imprint of her tweed jacket on her cheek outlined in pink. “hmm?”

“you fell asleep again,” he said, plopping a bag in front of her.

5. undying [choices – blades – mal x zilyana]

Zilyana stirred, resituating herself against Mal’s bare chest, feeling his arm instinctively tighten around her shoulders. When she realized she was missing the sound of his deep breathing, accompanied with an occasional soft snore, she cracked an eye open to see his chin tipped upwards, his gaze trained on the ceiling.

6. talent show [choices – platinum – shane x dom]

There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t cross his mind. Even since they were kids.

He admired so much about her – her fiery spirit, her drive, her unwavering tenacity.

And he’d been in love with Dom for as long as he could remember.

7. redeemed [choices – platinum – raleigh x dom]

As soon as he stepped off stage, he was shuffled to his tour bus, Fiona on his heels. She looked like the human embodiment of rage in a grey blazer, a look in her eye that made him thankful he wasn’t the one it was directed at – or at least he hoped he wasn’t the reason she was two seconds away from a murderous rampage.

8. hidden [choices – foreign affairs – blaine x carina] 18+

Her cheek slipped out of the palm of her hand, forehead smacking the desk, nearly jumping out of her skin at the abrupt awakening.

“Ow.”

She prodded the tender spot on her face, thankful her foundation was thick.

A soft snore caught her attention – next to her, Blaine was passed out. Leaning back in his chair, his head was thrown back, arms crossed against his chest, the textbook on its face in his lap.

9. is this fate? [litg au – bobby x mc] 18+

The peroxide was cold when it hit her skin, the liquid bubbling on her knee, relentlessly stinging. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.

“Sorry… should be over soon,” he murmured, wiping up the stray liquid that streamed down her leg with a small rag.

The heaviness of the atmosphere between them was almost too much to bear – they’d barely spoken since he helped her onto the counter in his small office, leg propped up between his own, where he sat in his desk chair.

10. asvista cove [litg college au – bobby x elena]

Bobby’s thumb flicked the lighter repeatedly until he got a consistent flame, moving slowly from left to right over the edge of the blunt. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked in, the tip of it an auburn ember. He pulled it out of his mouth and sucked in an even deeper breath, holding it.

When he blew out the thick cloud of smoke, he passed it to her, coughing under his breath. “Whew. Your turn.”

She followed suit, the thick smoke coating the inside of her lungs, bitter and heavy. She exhaled, the shroud smoke enveloping her view of the sealine.

11. reticent [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

She was bare.

Bare in the way that one is when they’ve been stripped down and torn apart with a trained gaze just calculating enough for them to feel seen – parts of her she didn’t know she’d hidden splayed out like withered pages of a book, dog-eared and marked up like a frequently reread novel.

One he’d reread because it was familiar, because it had fallen into his lap (he hadn’t searched for it), not so much because it was his favorite.

12. more [twc – mason x sofía] 18+

He laced his fingers through her thick hair, reveling in the way his skin looked contrasted against the midnight of her hair.

[the way i can’t post more than this bc it’s....... very nsfw right out the bat LMFAO]

13. calm before the storm [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

14. envy | part two of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He strode down the hallway, hands in his pockets to give the illusion that he didn’t give a shit, when he was most definitely on edge. His fingers flicked his lighter open and closed against the twill lining of his pockets, trying to focus on the soft clicking noise it made instead of the swarm of thoughts clouding his conscience.

He still couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.

15. comfort | part one of the attached series [twc – mason x sofía x felix]

He noticed it before she did.

Her pulse didn’t jump the same way it did the first dozen times he walked into the room. The blood didn’t rush to her cheeks, or creep up her neck, the crimson flush absent even when he tried his hardest to fluster her. And it normally took next to nothing to get her to turn into a bumbling mess.

16. out of time [choices – open heart – sienna x danny]

She sprinted down the hallway, pager still beeping erratically on her hip, the weight of the numbers enough to make her feel like she was slugging through wet concrete.

No, no, not him, please, not him, she chanted to herself, vision blurring with tears before she had the chance to let the negative possibilities set in.

17. unrequited part three [choices – open heart – bryce x spencer]

She slumped into the seat in the deserted waiting room, her joints popping as she stretched, her deep sigh echoing off of the tile. She was exhausted.

She could usually push through the worst of her shifts, but fatigue settled into her bones, a lethargy she’d never experienced entrapping her like a net, and she couldn’t fight her way out of it this time.

18. signs [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

“A final in sign language? Couldn’t you just have a conversation with the teacher or some shit?” Logan sat across from her on the couch, watching as her fingers bent and flexed, transfixed.

She stopped abruptly, screwing her mouth to the side in concentration. She repeated the same few moves, getting more and more frustrated with each sequence.

19. mementos [choices – ride or die – logan x raquel]

The sound of his boots slapping against the damp pavement reverberated off of the brick of the alleyways, his gasping breaths adding to the symphony that was his escape.

20. warmth [twc – mason x sofía]

“You’re going the wrong way,” Mason grunted, looking particularly stiff in her passenger seat.

“I thought we could take the scenic route,” she shrugged, flicking her high beams on as she turned off of the main road leading downtown, easing on the brakes when the tires hit the gravel.

okay so....... i didn’t really realize just HOW MUCH i’ve written since the summer? i’ve fallen into a pattern where i think i’m a failure bc of how slow i am to write because i have so many series i’ve started and dropped off and wips i’ve abandoned but.... i’ve managed to write for most appreciation weeks i’ve both hosted/participated in and i’ve written for THREE fandoms.... i don’t normally gas myself up but? i’m really? proud of myself? KSJDJKSD if you read this far thank you and you’re prob watching me have a breakdown over how much i’ve managed to write oh my GOD ok i need to lie down KLSDFKASFJD i didn’t even think i could hit 20 but i did???? alright i’m officially gonna treat myself at some point bc i did all this in less than a year.... these are from the end of july 2020 to now..... wow ok im done i promise SKDFJKSDF

tagging: @raleighcarrera and @pixeljazzy !!! <3 

[creativerogues]

Campaign Diary #6: Northbound

So... It’s been a while hasn’t it.

Well with quarantine ruining all the fun, and teaching people how to Zoom becoming the single greatest ordeal in my life, it seemed like the Campaign would’ve been put on hold indefinitely, or at least until all this blew over.

But no, I wouldn’t allow such an awesome campaign to be put on hold, and so while writing the Player’s Guide I’ve been setting up a session, and now it looks like we’re back on track, at least a little...

Anyways, here’s a recap since it’s been a while...

We have a Kenku Rogue still frozen by Magic, a recently resurrected Tabaxi Bard, a super-peeved Aarakocra Barbarian and a Tortle Wizard and Human Druid all trying to kill a Green Dragon called Danae, the Deathlady.

It you want a better Recap, you can find Campaign Diary Number 5 HERE!

Anyways, let’s continue by actually starting this thing.

Episode #6: Northbound

The Party awakes to find the three Silver Charge Members they hired in Episode #5 already packed up and ready to go. In fact, they’re actually having breakfast, with the Human Man cooking rations in a metal pan over a brass brazier.

The Party gets everything ready, and enjoys their own breakfast, which is nothing because they brought no food with them…

As everyone gets ready for the first day of travelling, the Minotaur speaks, saying that they should move through the light snow areas to avoid leaving traces in the snow that animals could follow, and the Wizard can cast his Spells to make their journey a little safer…

Meanwhile, the Human Wizard (Who they STILL haven’t learned the name of!) begins throwing strange objects into the Brass Brazier. At first it was just coal, which seemed sensible enough, but then he starts throwing sticks and grapes into the fire, followed by some leaves and branches with strange flowers that he pulls out of a sizeable pouch.

Then he starts making strange sweeping gestures with his arms: sculpting the flames in the brazier, slicing, patting, poking and even smacking and punching the fire while slowly chanting and humming under his breath...

And after completing this strange ritual, the Man goes down on both knees in front of the brazier, and whispers under his breath: "Come forth my other half, I want to find myself again".

And bursting forth, a bright white snowy owl flies out of the flames of the brazier, landing on the Man’s arm as he stands, and places the large owl on his shoulder, as he grabs a few handfuls of snow and begins extinguishing the flames and packing away the brazier into his Pack.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how a badass casts Find Familiar...

And as the Party sets off, learning on the way that the Human Wizard's name is Quill, a Northern Man clad in a heavy purple coat with green trimmings and thick furs around the neck, while the Minotaur's name is Sticks, and the Tortle's name is Pieces. So yeah: Quill, Sticks and Pieces.

Quill then sends his new Snowy Owl Familiar into the skies, and his eyes turn cloudy as he places his hand on Sticks’ arm, and everyone just kinda waits until his eyes become clear, and he reports that the area around here is clear, and they can rest in a few hours so he can scout the area again...

A Strange Request...

During the morning preparation, Potosh asks if he can get Hard Hat to cast Sending to his Mother or Father... 

A bit of a strange request but I allowed it because roleplay...

I ask Potosh's Player to make a History Check to remember the faces of his mother and father, which tells you something about his Character. He succeeds but now I make him roll a Performance Check but rolls a 7, so he doesn't give Hard Hat the detailed description he needs.

According to Potosh, his father had a long face with blue eyes and slick back dark brown hair, probably in his early 60′s now.

His mother he speaks more fondly of, talking about the floral dress she always wore and the short curly blonde hair she had. He says she’s probably in her late 40's to early 50's, tall and thin with a face similar to Potosh's...

Hard Hat apologises and says he needs more details off Potosh, but Potosh quite literally cannot remember them, having lived away from his Parents since... well since they pushed him away...

Ice to Meet You!

Quill sadly has no "Snow Avoidance" Spell to cast on the Group, so they all end up having to deal with the Penalties from the Snow and Difficult Terrain.

The Party trudge through the snow for about an hour (with Potosh in the form of a Snow Leopard), until they encounter some strange, what could only be described as “long thin blue sticks” poking just a few inches out of the snow, before the faces of the three Silver Charge Members suddenly turn pale.

“Nobody move. Nobody move a f**king muscle…”

Everybody freezes, and they begin to see the blue sticks move, swaying in the wind…

Potosh, who is in Snow Leopard Form and leading the group, tries to back up from these things, rolling a 17 on his Stealth Check, with an extra +10 from the Pass without Trace he has cast just before they set off… Rolling a 27 total and managing to very slowly back up away from these weird little sticks out of the ground...

Quill describes that they just messed up big-time, and the Group is currently standing on top of a Creature: A Remorhaz, and it’s currently feeling the vibration of footsteps on the hard snow crust.

And now everybody gets to roll Stealth Checks! But thankfully, no one fails...

Quill then sends his Snowy Owl over to these blue sticks, which turn out to be antennae, and the Snowy Owl pecks the antennae, and the Remorhaz emerges in a cloud of steam and slush, attacking and swallowing its Snowy Owl whole and causing it to poof out of existence...

And the Party rolls initiative as a large ice-blue centipede with leathery wings like a cobra's hood, an insect-like head with a flat face and giant bulbous eyes, and a long scaly segmented body with dozens of legs, with horns along its body and a line down its back that glowed red with an inner fire, bursts out of the snow in a cloud of steam and a pile of melted snow…

I roll for all the NPCs, Quill getting a Natural 20 on his Initiative, but Potosh acting first with a 22 on Initiative:

Potosh runs forward in his Snow Leopard Form and claws at the Young Remorhaz, missing with his first attack but scoring a crit on his second.

So all is looking good! Until Potosh is sprayed in the face with the Remorhaz's boiling hot blood and takes some fire damage... Then all is not looking good.

Next up is Quill, the Human Wizard and Silver Charge Mercenary, who casts Otiluke's Resilient Sphere on the Young Remorhaz, trapping the large monstrosity in a sphere of shimmering force and getting the Play of the Game and title of Most Valuable NPC.

You know, instead of the person that literally just resurrected their friend...

During this time, Quill casts Sending using some of his Spell Slots to message some other people in the Silver Charge: Specifically someone called Eli and some other person he refers to as Leatherback.

Meanwhile everyone else is panicking as this Remorhaz is clawing and biting at the sphere, which won’t be able to hold for as long as they’d like...

Quill casts Seeming to turn himself, Sticks, Pieces and everyone else (except Hard Hat), turning them all into other members of the Silver Charge, and commands Hard Hat to cast Sending and send a message to each of them for him, since Quill is currently focusing on containing the Young Remorhaz.

Hard Hat goes along with it and casts Sending as many times as he can to contact all these people, saying: "I am Hard Hat, I am paying your Mercenaries for protection. We have Remorhaz bound on South-East peaks, it is breaking free. We seek aid."

Minutes pass, and tension is rising as two Spellcasters suddenly appear out of a shimmer purple doorway.

One makes a remark to Quill, before they tell him to end the Resilient Sphere Spell and let the two deal with the creature.

The Sphere is reluctantly dispelled and one Mage casts Reduce, shrinking the Young Remorhaz, while the other Mage casts Charm Monster, succeeding and charming the Young Remorhaz. 

The Mage then casts Dimension Door and teleports out with the shrunken Remorhaz, the other Mage also Dimension Door-ing out of there and the Party Members (as well as Thrak the Half-Orc and the three Silver Charge Members) are left kinda stunned…

This is what happens when you ask NPCs that are several levels higher than you to help out, they get it done quick and easy and make you look like a bunch of scrubs...

Now the Party is left just kinda standing there, since they basically just panic speed-dialled every important person in the Silver Charge.

 So naturally, they decide to take a quick short rest to gather their thoughts, because WHAT THE F**K?

Wasting Time...

The Party takes a Short Rest after the Encounter with the Remorhaz and decides to chat, with Hard Hat speaking with Potosh about how they're going to get the Money to pay these people, since hiring highly skilled Mercenaries means paying several gold pieces a day, and they currently have a total of absolutely nothing...

Potosh thinks that if Foot can charm Thrak, they can use the Diamonds she still has on her to pay the cost, but Hard Hat says that robbing from the person that literally just resurrected their friend yesterday is somehow just a little too far for him…

Potosh also says that time is running out for him to get his pet bear back, since Thrak the Half-Orc said that in order for her to resurrect any Creature, she'll need a bunch of diamonds, and the more important part, the creature has to be dead less than 10 Days.

Hard Hat says that he's trying his best, and he knows they have maybe two days tops to get to the Capitol and get back here to resurrect that Bear…

Why is the Bear suddenly important? Ask the Nature-Loving Druid…

An Argument? Oh My!

So with the Short Rest over, Hard Hat suggests they all take Phantom Steeds to speed up the process, and asks Quill if he knows that Spell.

He does, but he doesn't tell Hard Hat that, instead lying and saying he's heard of the spell, but does not know the incantations necessary to perform it.

Why is Quill lying? Because for every day the Party travels under his protection, that's some extra pay for him, and turning what could be a two week journey up north into a couple of days would mean a whole chunk of money lost, an angry Tortle and a very angry Minotaur...

But of course Potosh and Foot, both with pretty good Wisdom Scores, notice Quill's words not carrying as much sway as he thought, and rather than ask him in private if he's lying, Potosh calls him out and says that they've got two days to get everything done, and they're just slowing down the Party.

Hard Hat calms down the situation by saying that he might have a way to fix this, up-casting Sending at 4th Level and asking Kenzo to speed up the process, saying that she has two days and apologising for the time crunch.

She responds saying that she'll have to track down some people, but she might be able to get to where they are within a day, a day and a half at most, and says that while she doesn't think she has exactly what they're looking for, she does have something, and she hopes that they haven't forgotten about their deal…

Hard Hat relays this to the group, and the three Silver Charge Members go from "we're here for the money" to "you guys don't deserve us", saying that they'll take their money and go if the Party thinks they're so dang high and mighty.

But then Thrak butts in: Saying that the three mercenaries were hired to help the group travel up north, and they should help each other instead of asking for money.

And thin strings of smoke begin to emerge from Thrak's mouth as she speaks to Quill specifically, the smoke travelling a few inches into the air and vanishing, as Thrak casts a Spell: Geas...

I roll to see if Quill notices the Spell being cast, and he does, and attempts a Counterspell.

However, with a 3rd Level Counterspell, and Geas being a 5th Level Spell, he has to roll a 15 or Higher to counter the spell.

But he fails, rolling a 9 total, so Thrak's Geas Spell succeeds, with Thrak feeling a little guilty that she was "forced" to cast it to ensure the Human Wizard's loyalty at this time.

I also roll to see if Sticks or Pieces notices what Thrak is doing, and they both fail, which I flavoured as them not knowing she was casting a Spell at all because they don’t know any magic, let alone know the specific components to spells...

Quill's eyes glaze over for a moment as Thrak asks him to kindly stay here with her and the rest of the Party protecting them until further notice...

She then takes out her small wooden chest again and gives Sticks and Pieces enough diamonds to pay for their work for two days, the day before and today, so they have no need to be here if they don't want to be.

And of course the big Minotaur fella decodes that to mean "go away" and takes the hint, telling Quill to cast whatever Spells he has left to take them home.

But Quill doesn't respond the way he usually does, saying that he's staying with the Party until their friend arrives, and will be returning to them after such a time as he feels they are safe…

Does Thrak feel guilty about forcing the Wizard to stay with them, of course she does, but if it ensures the Party's survival for the next day or two, then despite feeling bad about it, she'd still do it...

And now the Party has the task of waiting for a day and a half for Kenzo to get there… But the question is, can she get there in time?

[snesdudes]

Random Question Tag #2

I saw this challenge on @mrsgaryrennell and thought to jump in, since I’m new in the fandom!!

1. Tim or Bobby? 

Never played Bobby’s route, so I’m judging them as friends, and Tim was a better friend (we need a squad like the rap crew in season 2)

2. Choose two Islanders (from any season) to be quarantined with, and why? 

Well… Gotta say Gary and Jake. It would certainly be fun to be quarantined with them. And maybe Jake could teach Gary to cook??

3. How/when did you discover the game? 

I discovered it only like a month or two ago

4. If you could rewrite a scene, what scene would you rewrite? 

Oh, to pick only one… Ok, on Gary’s route: The scene where Chelsea arrives and tells everyone about Lottie and Gary kissing?? Yeah, fuck that. I would have loved for Chelsea to be like: “Everyone talked about how Lottie and Gary had this awkward kiss the night Hannah left, but the next morning MC and Gary made out at the gym!! Everybody knew they just weren’t over yet!”. And Lottie RAGING, and Marisol being like “we were coupled up, Gary!” and a proper discussion and MC-centered   �� drama. Not for her to be fixing everybody’s relationships, but for her to     be the protagonist and show Lottie she should shut up. Also having Gary open up to MC about that kiss and explaining to her what actually happened instead of only caring about meeting Chelsea would have been pretty nice, huh?

5. Favourite challenge? 

I had a lot of fun with the slime challenge. Give MC more chances to rub against Gary and piss off people.

6. If you could put/ship two Islanders together, who would you put together and why?

In Chelsea’s other Villa?? I think Carl and Marisol would’ve been hot together and would have a lot of stuff to talk about and probably conquered the world together. Also… Blake and Felix. Because, why not.

7. Describe your ideal S3 LI. 

OH GOSH. I would love a guy who says since the beginning he’s only there to have fun but falls HARD for MC and actually shows how much he cares and fights to get her. Give me some slow burn thing with lots of sexy times before he actually realizes how much he loves her. Tall, dark, handsome, you’re all good.

8. New or old Hannah? 

Ugh. New Hannah is just TOO annoying if you’re playing Gary’s route. She was never coupled up with him, he didn’t like her AT ALL, and still she comes back all salty about Lottie and MC?? And she doesn’t even want to be with Gary, she just wants to make the girls feel jealous by pretending to be someone she really isn’t. So… I prefer Old Hannah, I guess, at least she was genuine.

9. Who was dumped too soon? 

P R I Y A. I wished she could’ve stayed until the end. Also, Lurik, he could have been really interesting to see around and tempt MC if she was happily coupled up. Although that kiss scene before he leaves is pretty hot lol 

10. Jakub or Felix? 

Ugh. UGH. I guess… Felix??

11. Henrik or Lucas? 

Well, I found Lucas really sexy and interesting, but then I started his route and dropped it after Casa Amor. He was too cold for me, given how shy and awkward he was when he first arrived, I thought he would be different. I’ve never tried Henrik’s route and might do that soon since he seems really sweet, so maybe I’ll say Henrik.

12. Jo or Hope? 

I don’t really care about them tbh. Hope is usually a good friend to my MC, and I get that’s only because I have no interest at all in Noah. I think she’s shady af though, and that she really wants Noah to get to the final together. On the other hand, I hate liars. I hate even more liars who keep lying after you’ve caught them lying. Yeah, that didn’t really make me like Jo – and the fact that she dances on your LI's lap just because?? So, I’m gonna go with Hope here, I guess.

13. Lottie or Priya? 

PRIYA!! My love, my queen. She made some mistakes but always tried to fix them and held her head high, while Lottie is always blaming other people and being a hypocrite. But I always go for Gary so I guess it’s natural I don’t like Lottie lmao

14. What originally drew you to your LI? 

Oh man. The first time I played I was picking and I couldn’t decide between Gary or Rocco… And I went for Rocco. And regretted it SO SOON. Then I thought I might go for Gary, but Rocco chose MC. After that recoupling, Gary approaches MC and tells her he wanted to pick her and that if things don’t work with Rocco… and gently squeezes her arm. And I just KNEW I had to get him, I loved how gentle he is around MC, but also funny, confident, and he really cares about the rest of the Villa. So, he’s hot, but his personality and how he treated MC was what drew me to him.

15. Favorite LI of all time (both seasons)? 

Gary, duh. I really really really love Jake, but the way the season is written makes it impossible to get him until nearly the end, therefore you can’t spend much time with him. I’m sure I would have loved him even more if I could’ve seen more of him and how he treats MC. Gary, on the other hand, is around since the beginning and you get to spend a lot of time with him and have many chats, some serious, some silly, some playful. He’s such a lad, sometimes made me wonder about how he really felt towards MC, but then… CASA AMOR. When MC and Gary have that chat when she comes back, man, that was so sweet. Gary is truly crazy for MC and he shows it, he cares, but he’s still funny. Plus, he’s a complex character and it makes him feel more real than some of the others.

16. Favourite scene/day? 

There’s many I love tbh. The cake decorating scene really cracks me up (as you probably knew if you’ve seen my username). I also love the one I mentioned above, in which Gary speaks in private with MC after Casa Amor and tells her he missed her. Also, the kiss they share before she leaves to CA.

17. Who had the best character development? 

You will never guess… Gary! At the beginning he’s trying to be strategic and keep his cards close to his chest, but he’s honestly not good at that, and is willing to be coupled up with basically any of the girls if that keeps him in the game. But that fades gradually as he cares more and more about MC. I love the fact that he’s complex and also messes things up sometimes. I’ve met men like him, who sometimes say things they don’t mean only to keep their façade of tough, confident guys. But in private they’re soft and vulnerable. Obviously, the scene where he tells MC about his past is really important to understand his character and how threatened he feels when new boys arrive to the Villa. Things I never paid attention in my first play were suddenly very important when I     played again. How insecure he feels around Lurik, that moment when he says “I’m gonna go lift something heavy” after Lottie throws shade at him. Ugh I love him.

18. One thing that irked you about the game?

The fact that MC always had to deal with everyone’s shit and she was never the center of the drama. Even at Roccosol, Lottie manages to somehow be the one offended. And still MC has to deal with that mean tweet, and with someone calling her people pleaser and whatnot. The     whole Gary/Lottie kiss bothers me a lot too, especially if you’re in Gary’s route, I just can’t believe their kiss was important on the outside but     the ones he has with MC are overlooked. That gym kiss should’ve been brought up at some point, and Chelsea was the perfect person to do that.  

19. Season 1 reunion or Season 2 wedding? 

Well, the wedding was better, although I didn’t really love it. 

20. Describe domestic life or a head-canon about/with your LI. 

Well, of course Gary took MC to meet his family and they go every Sunday to have brunch together. Nan loves her and always tells her stories about Gary when he was younger and how she’s glad he found her. She also likes to embarrass both of them by bringing some... moments they lived in the Villa in the conversations, making everyone     laugh and MC and Gary blush hard. Gary just going “Nan!!” And she: “Well if you didn’t want me to talk about it you shouldn’t have done it on the telly!”

21. Guess some of the Islanders surnames? 

Um, I honestly have no idea lol

[sparklyandchic]

🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋

okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!

5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.

cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.

meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today. 

relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND. 

ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward! 

[theres-a-goldensky]

BL Show Review Series - My Engineer and 2gether

I am new to BL series, having only discovered them thanks to being stuck at home in quarantine. However, I’ve now watched enough of them that I feel like I have a lot to say and nowhere to say it. So I decided to write some reviews, talk about some issues that I had, and mainly get all of these feelings out of me. 

Disclaimer that these are my own opinions, and I don’t know where the BL community as a whole stands on these shows. If I disliked a show you loved or visa versa, no disrespect is intended! 

First up, then, are My Engineer and 2gether

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

MY ENGINEER 

Rating: 4/10 (Revised score: 6/10)

Main Pairing

The premise of this show is silly, but I was willing to let that pass if it was cute enough. It wasn’t. Not for me, anyway. The main pairing was very lackluster, and their courtship started off weird, with freshman Duen inexplicably feeling obligated to care for the older Bohn. Duen accidentally punches Bohn, but that interaction spirals into Duen letting Bohn bully him into buying Bohn flowers every day for a month as recompense. 

You get it from Bohn’s perspective. He clearly is interested in Duen from the beginning, and this is his inept way of flirting. But Duen going along with it at first, when he dislikes Bohn, is baffling. I thought there must have been something I missed. Was it because Bohn was his senior? 

The parts I found most charming about their story involved them interacting with their younger siblings. In particular, Duen’s love of his little sister was genuinely heartwarming. There’s a date scene late in the series that is the highlight of their story for me.

There is a ridiculous, drawn out arc about which one of them is going to top, which I was super done with before it even started. It ends with the message that, hey, anyone can be a top or a bottom and it doesn’t matter, but man did the story take its time getting there. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Side Pairings

There are three additional side pairings happening here, which was at least one too many. However, the relationship between King and Ram quickly became the best thing about the show for me. The two of them together are charming, particularly the patient way that King enjoys Ram’s oddities and works to find a way to communicate with him anyway. 

Ram, despite being a side character, is the most developed person in the show. We see a lot about his family life and his interests. He’s fiercely loyal to his friends but also very shy. Over the course of the show, you see him feel hurt and scared and angry and in love, and all without him saying much of anything at all. 

The next side pairing is Mek and Boss. They are best friends and Boss calls himself Mek’s wifey. Mek is in love with Boss, to the point where he has a shrine of him hidden away in his room. It’s very sweet, even though you’re left kind of wondering, uh...why? What has Boss done to earn Mek’s undying devotion? It’s unclear.

Bafflingly, the actor who plays Mek was not speaking Thai in this. All of his lines were dubbed over -- very, very poorly -- and you can see that the words he’s speaking don’t match the words he’s supposed to be saying. I have no idea why they cast this person, though he did well given the circumstances. He has a very soulful stare that worked to demonstrate his pining. Watching him decide to help Boss get a girlfriend just because he wanted him to be happy was tough. 

If I were to recommend this series, it would be to follow these two side stories. You may enjoy the Bohn/Duen romance, but I had a hard time getting attached to them or believing their chemistry.

The final pairing was between Frong and Dr. Thara. I have nothing to say about them, honestly. It could have been completely taken out and nothing would have been lost. The actors did what they could with the roles. Both were charming, both were very, very attractive, but that couldn’t save this side story for me.

The acting was just so-so, though special mention should probably go to the actors who portrayed Mek and Boss, since they spent the majority of their scenes acting with someone who was speaking an entirely different language. 

There was very little tension and almost no stakes in this series, except between King and Ram.  

(Update: 9/27/20

Time sometimes changes feelings on a series, and in the months since I wrote this review, I’ve come to look more favorably on this drama. My love for Ram and King has only grown, and I’ve come to tolerate Bohn and Duen’s story more than I had before. Some of the early parts are even cute, though the back half still bugs me.)

***

2GETHER THE SERIES Rating: 5/10

Main Pairing

Win and Bright, the actors who portray the main characters of Tine and Sarawat, are both just...startingly good looking. They’re tall and broad and handsome. Tine has the sweetest smile and Sarawat can sexy brood with the best of them. I think the natural charisma of both leads did a lot to paper over the cracks of a thin story where the characters made nonsensical choices just to drive forward the plot. 

This is a fake dating story, which should be my JAM, ok? Straight boy freshman Tine wants to curb the attentions of Green, a gay man who is pursuing him. He decides to ask Sarawat, the campus dreamboat, to pretend date him so that Green will back off. It all makes sense so far, in terms of how these convoluted romantic comedy set-ups go. Sarawat refuses, and Tine starts up a charm offensive to get him to agree. Still makes sense. But then, once Sarawat commits to this plan, scene after scene goes like this: 

Tine: Sarawat, here comes Green! Pretend to be my boyfriend! Sarawat: [pretends to be his boyfriend] Tine: Oh no, what are you doing? People are going to think we’re dating!

Like, bro, he is doing what you have explicitly asked him to do! Often just moments before! What is HAPPENING? I get that this is supposed to be Tine feeling confused about his burgeoning feelings for Sarawat, but then show that by Tine being nervous or embarrassed. Having him lash out at Sarawat made no sense and got more frustrating as the series went on.

And look, I’m just going to say it: Win and Bright seem like they didn’t want to touch each other. They have major bro chemistry, but zero romantic chemistry. It got to the point, in the last few episodes, where I thought there was a translation error and I was misunderstanding the status of their relationship. By the tail-end of the series, former playboy Tine still looks a cross between confused and horrified whenever Sarawat tries to touch him. We never once see Tine happily kiss Sarawat. I don’t understand the choices that were made by the actor, director, and writers here. 

Every problem that occurs between Tine and Sarawat could be solved with a few clarifying words, but instead they get dragged on for the sake of drama. 

Furthermore, I know that BLs are fond of the “I’m not gay, I just like you” trope, but for the first 11 episodes of this show, Sarawat is coded as gay. Not bi. Not straight-except-for-you. Gay. He has a literal harem of women surrounding him at all times, showering him with gifts and attention, and doesn’t once appear interested. When his mother asks him when he’s going to get a girlfriend, the look that both he and his brother give her clearly reads, “Are you fucking kidding?” 

And yet, in episode 12, we are supposed to believe that his first and only other great love was a woman. It’s the way the book was written, I get it, but it rang false for me. 

Side Pairings

There were two side pairings. All four of the actors involved are BL vets who performed their duties well. 

Man and Type are interesting, but their story gets pushed to the side until the end of the series. However, while Tine and Sarawat’s story was floundering in the latter episodes, I was more than happy to watch this develop. Mike, who plays Man, has become one of my favorite supporting actors in these shows. He’s workman-like, bringing natural charm to his performances and always getting the job done. Seeing Man try to win Type over was fun even while it barely toed the line between sweet and creepy.

Mil and Phukong though? I was not here for any of it. Mil was a jerk and Phukong was a doormat. The way they ended the series was insulting to Phukong. I’d say he deserved better, but his insistence on going after Mil even though Mil was a genuine asshole to both him and his brother did his character no favors. The show wanted Mil to be redeemed by the end, but no thanks, I’ll pass. Phukong may not have deserved better, but Drake and Frank definitely did. I hated it.

Like I said, the actors are so likable and gorgeous, and the fake dating trope is such a classic, that I really wanted to like this one. The first few episodes were sweet and had potential, but the awkwardness between them that I assumed would go away by the end never did. 

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

(Send me an ask if you have a show you’d like me to review - with the understanding that I will be completely honest - or if there’s anything you think I forgot or got wrong in this review.)

[yogaposesfortwo]

The Future of Yoga: The Change We Need

We look at diversity, equity, job security, and online teaching during a post-COVID era. This story is a component of a series covering the longer term of yoga during and after the coronavirus pandemic. Here, we take a glance at the challenging issues the yoga industry faces. Read more about the role unionization may play in addressing those challenges in our first story: As COVID-19 Reveals the Cracks within the Yoga Industry, Could a Universal Teachers’ Union Help Reshape Our Community? One month before the announcement of the permanent closures of the YogaWorks ny studios that were announced in April, I spoke with the changemakers on the front lines of unionization efforts on a Zoom call; a couple of YogaWorks NY teachers who formed the collective, Unionize Yoga—a first-ever yoga teachers’ union to become certified by the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB). Accompanied by a politician from the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers (IAMAW), the union that represents them, the teachers discussed the important issues that were plaguing our industry long before the coronavirus pandemic had arrived, including a scarcity of diversity, job security, and benefits like insurance and paid leave . It was the first days of COVID-19. Social distancing measures and sanitization protocols were mounting because the word “quarantine” quickly became the new normal. Industry-wide shutdowns of yoga studios and cancelations of retreats and festivals soon rippled throughout the country and round the world, ny City prepared to shelter-in-place. Here’s what I asked them—and what I learned about what the longer term of yoga could appear as if during a post-pandemic world.

Is Industry-Wide Diversity and Equity Even Possible?

One of the most important problems perpetuated by the yoga and wellness industry is its homogeneity and reinforcement of said that folks like male teachers, but I’ve said, how does one know that folks don’t like black teachers—or any teacher of color?” It’s already hard enough for white individuals to form a living as yoga teachers—there aren’t enough jobs; we’re only too conversant in the unsettling statistic that for each one yoga teacher there are two more in training. during a market that’s already oversaturated with teachers who can afford the prices of teacher training—ranging anywhere from a fast-track online program for $500 to an in-depth offering with a renowned yogalebrity for $10,000—imagine what it’s like for minority groups vying for teaching positions who are, by the sheer demographics of the industry, outnumbered by the white majority. Demens says she’s looking forward to what a possible teachers’ union could mean for diversity within the industry at large. She’s looked to history for inspiration, and learned about the black sanitation workers in Memphis, TN, who had formed a union back within the 1960s. She says they too faced problems with unfair pay, and a scarcity of job security and safety. At the time, she says, black people weren't allowed to organize—but following two deaths from a dustcart malfunction and therefore the city’s refusal to exchange the defective equipment, the workers went on strike. “They went through such a lot , but they never gave up,” Demens said. “They fought hard and that they eventually won—and not only for themselves; what they did impacted the civil rights movement and therefore the fight for labor rights.” Demens points out how the win in Memphis helped many black people shift into the center class. “I think many of us , myself included, often feel overlooked—and that I even have no voice or say in what goes on during this industry or how I’m viewed within the community,” she said. While Demens doesn’t know whether a yoga union might be as powerful or effective as what had happened in Memphis, she acknowledges how unions can help people feel supported and of significance, and empower them to face up for what they believe . “Diversity is a problem everywhere—and it’s not really seen as something that’s missing. generally , we check a box if we've one person of color on a teaching schedule. It’s not fair to not even be considered. It’s not fair that even when I’m given an opportunity , it’s Monday at 2:30 within the afternoon. Who’s gonna come thereto class? My goal has been to try to to what I can to form yoga available to the folks that I know—people that appear as if me—and understanding the way to meet those people where they're . i feel that a yoga union would help make yoga classes available to more people. I’ve seen efforts toward this—my teachers offer scholarships to women of color. It’s healing to ascertain those shifts which thought and energy . I once taught a restorative class in Crown Heights at 4 p.m., to those women who were total BFFs; these old black women who looked a bit like my grandmother. The way they checked out me it had been like they were pleased with me, and once I checked out them I saw my grandmother. So once I teach now, I act as if I were teaching my grandmother. I’m not getting to shout at at her; I’m getting to set her up within the pose. As an Iyengar teacher all I can do is give commands—so it made me believe how could get more women like my grandmother to return to my class; more women like this. Whats missing is we'd like more stories like that. i would like to assist get these conversations going. one among my students recently reached bent me and asked me to start out teaching online classes. So I began to build a schedule that works on behalf of me . Before I had to require what I could get. Now I can run my classes the way i would like and provides my students what they have . An Asian women came to at least one of my classes to “rest her brain”—she said she was hurt by the toll the pandemic had taken on China, so I offered her restorative and pranayama. I wouldn’t are ready to do this before because i used to be always told I had to urge people moving. Now I can help people and provides them what they really need. With numerous people laid off and knowing that there’s some benefit they will get from class, I aks myself how do I make my clases more available and accessible to them.” –Deidra Demens, 500-hour Certified Yoga Teacher, Level 1 Iyengar Teacher

What Does Job Security Look Like in An Uncertain Future?

Some teachers may say they’re paid a good wage, but there are countless others who would argue they’re not. There are other teachers who would probably say that they've never been purchased their classes in the least . In my personal experience as an educator , I’ve made anywhere from $5 to $150 for one hour session, counting on whether i used to be paid per head ($5 = 1 student came) or a flat rate (corporate yoga or a yoga festival appearance). In most cases, yoga teachers work as independent contractors instead of as part-time employees of a studio, which, because the union points out, can save the studio money on unemployment insurance and workers compensation. YogaWorks has been an anomaly therein regard, since its teachers are employed either part- or full-time, and also are eligible surely benefits. But YogaWorks teachers need to work on least 10 hours per week to be eligible surely benefits—and Unionize Yoga believes that those benefits should be available to all or any . Still, generally speaking, yoga teachers rarely have job security, nor can most of them make an inexpensive living by teaching alone. There are many teachers who make it work by piecing together income from multiple studios, while others may rely solely on one because they’ve signed a non-compete clause. What happens when alittle , independent studio is struggling and has got to suddenly close, then those teachers are out of work? Or what happens when the economy reopens and we’re on the opposite side of the pandemic—how many studios will even survive and, what percentage teachers will still be out of work? very similar to the industry and aspects of the gig economy, the shortage of job security within the yoga world is being illuminated by the present depression . During quarantine and in survival mode, teachers have begun to understand the potential for generating revenue streams online without a brick-and-mortar studio. An unprecedented number of studios and teachers alike have migrated to measure stream classes and joined the Zoom boom, which, counting on time of day, scale of online and social media presence, and whether or not they’re giving content away for free of charge , may or not be understanding . There are teachers who’ve had upwards of 100 students during a single class, while others may even see just a couple in less desirable timeslot (what is that the new “prime time” for quarantine practice, anyway?). Other teachers, meanwhile, have expressed worry about those who’ve been giving their content away for free of charge , explaining that it devalues their expertise. Veronica Perretti, a former YogaWorks teacher and former NY teacher manager for YogaWorks, started her own online platform outside of the corporate mid-March, just following the announcement of the initial temporary studio closures. Though she had voted against the NY teachers’ union last fall, she’s still an advocate for teacher-owned businesses and believes that teachers should charge what they’re worth. “I replaced my monthly YogaWorks income within the matter of 1 week with my new online membership program,” Perretti said. “I think this is often subsequent frontier of teaching yoga.” She says this is often a flash for teachers to require ownership of their business outside of the studio and make a community that knows no bounds. “I don’t need YogaWorks to offer me a platform to show ,” she says. “I’m creating it for myself.” Just before the arrival of the coronavirus within the us , Unionize Yoga founding member Markella Los, gave up her group classes at YogaWorks and her position as an educator trainer, and subsequently, her involvement with the YogaWorks NY union. Her shift to specialise in one-on-one instruction and online community building was a timely one, and now, Los is committed to assist ing other teachers outside of YogaWorks mobilize and make solutions to help make the profession more sustainable. In May, Los launched The Connective, a web “teacher-powered” collective that aims to diversify the yoga industry and lift its standards. How The Connective holds up during a post-coronavirus world remains to be seen, since running your own business equates to even less protection when it involves job security, but Los seems optimistic, despite that the traditional could potentially pose more risk for teachers. “The current crisis is highlighting issues and insecurities of what it means to be an educator that tons folks already knew were there. Who gets to make a decision what the yoga industry seems like and who’s in it? What I could see happening is that inequities are further perpetuated, but in a web forum. I could see a direction during which business continues as was common , but within the ‘wild west.’ But what I also can see is a chance to course-correct; to arrange and have conversations around online teacher-owned businesses. There’s multiple ways for people to organize—it’s only limited by your collective creativity. Teachers are talking for therefore long about the thought or need for a yoga teachers’ union, and it never happened. It felt love it couldn’t be done. the very fact that we’ve shown it are often done shifts the scope of what is possible. Teachers reach bent us to seek out out what we did and the way to start out something on their own. we've a voice, we’re starting conversations, we’re connecting and being honest with what we’re all handling . Our goal has always been to boost industry standards overall—and for the profession to become more sustainable for anyone who wants to be in it. for much longer than I even have been teaching, people have talked about the thought or need for a yoga teachers’ union. They talked about it for therefore long and it never happened; it felt love it couldn’t be done. the very fact that we showed that it might be done shifts the scope of what is possible. It’s been a tremendous facilitator for conversation—teachers reach bent determine what we did and the way to start out something on their own. We’re starting important conversations; we’re connecting and being honest with what we are all handling . That’s been a hugely important profound shift. –Markella Los, 500-hour Certified Yoga Teacher; Yoga Tune Up YogaWorks, Trauma-Conscious Yoga Method, FRC Mobility Specialist

Are Yoga Teachers Entitled to Healthcare, Regardless of Hours Worked?

As London-based teacher Norman Blair wrote in his blog, “How can we stay well when working within the wellness industry?” Whenever an educator gets sick, they'll ‘power through’ and teach anyway (it’s only an hour, right?), putting the health of their students in danger also as their own. the choice , of course, is to seek out a sub. Either way, the teachers who are independent contractors don’t get paid once they don’t teach. Worse, when an educator is injured and out of labor , how can they still make ends meet? The COVID-19 pandemic has revealed how easily anyone can become ill, no matter their physical health. It’s a deadly reminder of the very fact that many Americans still live without insurance . Unionize Yoga believes that, like all trained worker , yoga teachers need and deserve benefits like healthcare. YogaWorks teachers, unlike most teachers at independent studios, are regular employees of the corporate , not independent contractors, which is why they’re eligible for perks like wage and which is additionally why they might legally form a union within the corporate . And though YogaWorks employees who work 10 classes per week (or equivalent) are considered full-time, consistent with Unionize Yoga, no teacher at YogaWorks NY had worked that a lot of hours. the amount of hours worked, of course, doesn't include the countless ‘invisible hours’ (class prep, travel, training, etc.), involved in teaching a category . Unionize Yoga says that healthcare benefits should be made available to all or any teachers, no matter hours worked. The common practice, a minimum of within the U.S., is that insurance usually applies only to those that work full-time, or part-time at a particular number of hours. But Unionize Yoga says that there’s no reason why a part-time teacher can’t be entitled thereto same fundamental right. YogaWorks, however, states otherwise, citing the company’s already existing benefits package as a rare exception within the yoga world—and the sole company within the industry to supply a leave policy. "YogaWorks is that the winner within the industry in providing benefits like health care coverage and 401k plans to full-time teachers, while also ensuring that each one among our teachers is an employee with all applicable benefits, including wage and hour protection, unemployment insurance, leave pay, family leave, and workers compensation,” a spokesperson from YogaWorks told me in an email. “We believe our extraordinary retention among our teachers, many spending decades with the corporate , may be a testament to our commitment to them and to the above market wages we offer altogether of our markets.” David DiMaria, a representative of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers’ (IAMAW) Eastern territory, works with new groups who’ve organized to make a union. He explains that independent contractors aren't covered by the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA), which allows unions to legally form within companies. However, very similar to Uber drivers did in ny , independent contractors can still organize—just not within an equivalent legal framework of a formally recognized union that gives workers with additional rights. DiMaria understands the political and financial challenges that accompany fighting for healthcare, but believes that if yoga teachers were to arrange in greater numbers across different employers, that it’s doable within the future . very similar to actors’ unions, which believe contributions made by multiple employers, he says that following an identical model could mean that nobody employer would need to bear the high cost of insurance for his or her employees alone, which teachers could qualify for benefits no matter the amount of hours worked. “It’s a very tough issue due to the character of labor . Some teachers teach one class every week and a few teach five. We are watching ways to supply some level of advantages for everybody , but we are so early within the process that it’s timely to inform . We are bargaining over different issues and it’s all contingent agreeing to the entire contract, we won’t have an agreement until each side ratify. But once we last met with the corporate there was movement on their end. consider it sort of a junior high school dance, it begins with people on opposite sides of the space , but eventually everyone starts dancing.” –David DiMaria, Eastern Territory Organizing Lead, IAMAW

Should Studios Prioritize Teachers’ Pay Over Student Numbers?

Yoga studios, regardless of what size, exist due to yoga teachers. and lots of teachers have said that enormous companies like YogaWorks and CorePower, which are owned by private equity firms, could compensate their teachers with better living wages (the teacher-led lawsuit against CorePower in 2019 cited underpaid wages). Unionize Yoga says that a good wage is one that increases over time with experience, and considers other factors like the rising costs of living. (A quick disclosure: As a former YogaWorks NY teacher, my flat rate, when averaged over time, was still superior in comparison with the smaller studios that had paid me per head.) the matter with YogaWorks’ pay scale, however, as some YogaWorks NY teachers have said, had been the shortage of transparency about its pay system. Christine Festa, a yoga teacher and coach in Southeast Florida who completed her 200- and 300-hour teacher trainings at YogaWorks NY and NJ, agrees, and says it’s the massive companies who should be leading the industry by example. “There shouldn’t be of these different teachers at different pay rates,” she told me, flagging nepotism together potential issue. “There should be a group structure that's shared among teachers in order that all teachers understand where they substitute the combination of things; in order that they know where they’ll go as they progress in their career.” Festa is notoriously outspoken on social media about problems within the industry at large, and coaches yoga teachers on the way to become more self-sufficient by generating new revenue streams outside of studios. Tamar Samir, another founding member of Unionize Yoga and a YogaWorks NY teacher since 2010, says she’s an advocate for teachers. She’s argued for transparency around pay, and for various ‘pay bands,’ or layers of pay, that increase supported experience (Samir has completed over 1,500 hours of training). She suggests that there has got to be how for both the studio and teacher to financially flourish together. Yet as an accomplished creative director and professor of design at Parsons School of Design and Pratt in ny , Samir doesn’t necessarily believe teaching yoga to pay her bills. But when YogaWorks announced that it might close its Westside studio in late-2018 with only three weeks' notice, she realized just how fragile the industry are often for the typical teacher. Though the corporate took measures to reassign teachers elsewhere, the relationships between those teachers and therefore the students who’d been coming to their classes were broken—an entire community dissolved almost in a moment . “One of the items i assumed about after being during this industry for 10 plus years was that I even have tons less to lose than people . It became very clear there have been inequities, and that i have seen an equivalent patterns repeat over and once again . There’s a dichotomy between how yoga is presented publicly and what teaching yoga is really like behind-the-scenes. We see Instagram posts where teachers look beautiful, healthy, and peaceful, but all folks know that that's not actually the case in the least . Many teachers live in small apartments and earning under the poverty level . So maybe they’re accomplished on Instagram, but they’re also doing a waitressing or bartending job that they are not telling the planet about. there is a quite hypocrisy that’s built into the profession; you've got to present yourself as a picture of health and prosperity. It makes it harder for people to advocate for themselves. That’s why we’re the reality tellers—we’re telling people what a yoga teacher’s life is basically like. Yoga is about solidarity and connectedness—which should be a no brainer for yogis. –Tamar Samir, Creative Director and Yoga Teacher

Should Seniority and Experience Be Rewarded?

In most other professions, a worker receives a raise in their salary supported their performance, whether by appointment to a higher-level position supported seniority or through adequate compensation supported experience. The yoga industry, at large, has no such pay structure. In most cases, an educator just out of teacher training could also be paid an equivalent interest rate that increases per student as an educator with 10 years or more of experience. this suggests that a lot of teachers are rewarded for his or her personality and following, versus experience, while others may simply get lucky and secure lucrative time slots for his or her classes. When compared with the restaurant industry, for instance , a server with more seniority often gets the higher section, and walks away with 3 times the maximum amount take advantage their pocket on any given night as a less experienced server in another section. But many restaurants now have mandatory tip pooling systems in an effort to be more fair to their employees across the board. While pooled class earnings for yoga teachers might not be the foremost practical solution, Unionize Yoga is lobbying for a transparent pay structure that rewards teachers supported their skills and knowledge , instead of leaving it up to the luck of the draw or a robust personality with an outsized social media presence to urge ahead. German-born Nora Heillman, a performance artist turned yoga teacher, moved to ny from Amsterdam in 2013 where she met her wife, Samir. She recalls the first days as an immigrant in ny when she took whatever work she could get, teaching very early or late in the dark for little or no money. But after five years, exhausted and depleted, she found herself wondering how she’d be ready to continue—or what would happen if she got sick or ever wanted to retire at some point. As a yoga and meditation teacher with 13 years of experience and quite 1,600 hours of coaching , Heillman says she’s cycled through 12 studios in 5 years, many of which have closed, including 3 YogaWorks locations at the time of this interview (Heillman had been an educator at YogaWorks since 2014). She recalls the frustration of going to an area where she finally felt financially secure enough to pay her bills, just in time for an additional studio to shut its doors. Heillman recalls the sense of urgency that followed the closure of the YogaWorks Westside location in 2018; the belief of the shortage of sustainability within the profession— even as sustainability was becoming a buzzword, she says. That’s when she, Samir, and Los began their initial discussions that led to the first formation of the Teachers’ Initiative. “There are teachers at YogaWorks who are teaching for 25 years. We don’t have regular raises or evaluation meetings per annum like other jobs, since that’s not a typical within the yoga world. Teachers need to fight for a raise or salary that they might wish to see themselves at. And sometimes, after a few years of teaching, maybe they’ll have an honest salary, on the other hand a studio starts to limit classes and convey in new teachers at a lower rate who’ve just begin of coaching , because it’s less costly for the studio. There’s no financial security for teachers with more experience. That’s why we’re advocating for teachers with the foremost experience, especially those who’ve been at an equivalent studio for several years. They’re those who should have first access to classes opening up. There must be some career path for growth; knowing that your salary will go up if you persist with the corporate . Some teachers’ salaries haven’t gone up in 15 years at YogaWorks and at other studios, when now we pay $1,000 more dollars in rent per month than we did years ago. It’s a pity when a studio loses a highly qualified teacher because they’re burned-out and throwing in the towel of the profession. I just take what's offered to me, but i do know it’s the louder personalities who get $30 more per class. If you are not a fighter, you would possibly be teaching for low pay your whole life. How would any folks have navigated the present crisis without having had the community we’ve created through the union? we actually do support one another through all of this.” –Nora Heillmann, Yoga Teacher

The Next Step for Yoga

We have found ourselves during a moment where everything is changing and nobody really knows what the post-COVID yoga world are going to be like—with or without a union. Digital platforms could morph into an amplified version of a contest , rewarding only those that are highly skilled at self-promotion and social media marketing. Many studios will close and businesses will inevitably fail. For people who survive and remain open, the longer term of yoga—at least the foreseeable one—is a special place then once we left it. A future that limits in-studio class offerings, ushers students into a building one-by-one to require their temperatures, then caps the space at 6 to eight students. A world where students are inhaling and exhaling into their face masks with their mats strategically placed six feet apart. a wierd new reality where fears of germs are but a continuing , where extreme disinfectant and sanitization measures put anyone who’s willing to steer into a studio jittery . In some ways, it might appear to be going back to the way things were is like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Maybe there's no going back. Maybe this this is often our moment, as an industry, to change, collaborate, create, and innovate—to transcend beyond studio walls. As we glance toward the longer term , as uncertain because it could seem at the present , perhaps we might all enjoy identifying what we don’t want the industry to seem like by acknowledging what it isn’t. It’s never the past neither is it our attachments thereto . The solutions aren't getting to be found by forcing things to be as they once were. As my teacher and studio owner, Jill Sockman, said during a virtual government building meeting on concentrate May as she announced the closure of her brick-and-mortar space in Raleigh, Blue Lotus, (where I had taught and practiced before the pandemic), “We’re not getting to find ‘the yoga’ by fighting what is; we can’t avoid doing the hard thing because it’s uncomfortable.” Author: Andrea Rice Source: https://www.yogajournal.com/teach/future-of-yoga-post-covid Discover more info about Yoga Poses for Two People here: Yoga Poses for Two Read the full article

[ruoyeming]

My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect. 

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too. 

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice. 

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness. 

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple. 

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways. 

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho?? 

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I��ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

[loptgangandi]

OH BOY GUYS HAVE I GOT A MUN-DAY STORY FOR YOU

( tl;dr I was refused entry into my mom’s home country, spent the night in an airport terminal during a pandemic, made friends with the son of one of my mom’s colleagues who just so happened to be in the exact same situation because the universe has a sense of humor, and was eventually allowed into the country because I had understood the regulations properly and the border guards had not.)

So it all started on Thursday, when my mom -- an epidemiologist working on COVID -- told me to come home ASAP because Switzerland (where she lives) was about to close its borders and had already restricted entry to anyone from neighboring states: first Italy, then Austria, Germany, and France as well.

I had already booked tickets for early April, so I called the airline, and they helped me rebook for the end of March -- the earliest I could come without paying huge fees. 

Cut to Friday. I wake up to 4 missed calls and a zillion texts from my mom informing me that she had booked me on a flight for the following day -- Saturday.

With a layover in Germany.

As I had spent a good 40 minutes the previous day on the phone trying to avoid layovers in France and Germany, I was a little miffed. And worried. But the airline had assured my mother that:  a) the new restrictions on Germany wouldn’t go into effect until Sunday, and  b) since airport terminals are international territory, I technically would not have actually been in Germany.  After some deliberation, I agreed to come home immediately. As in, Saturday. As in, the next day. The 21st. A day before Switzerland’s travel restrictions on Germany were supposed to go into effect (according to the airline, and I’m not sure what their source was).

You might already see where this is going.

I arrived at Frankfurt airport after a frankly very surreal trip -- both the flight and the original airport, which was a ghost town -- and was told by the gate agents that I couldn’t board the plane because Swiss border control would refuse me. After a bit of back and forth -- during which I switched from English to German, which got them to be a bit more helpful -- they realized that yes, indeed, citizens and residents of Schengen countries (excluding Germany, France, Italy, and Austria) were exempted from the border restrictions. This included me, as I’m a resident of Sweden. 

They let me on the plane, but I was seriously worried -- because given the general environment of confusion, I had no faith that Swiss border control would know more than the Frankfurt gate agents. You’d assume they’d be informed on some things, but lets face it -- uniformed and armed people tend not to be very good at subtlety and legal minutiae, so who could know. 

The one thing that can be said for the overwhelming, anxious rage I felt when the Swiss border control told me I couldn’t enter the country was that it absolutely K.O’d the part of my brain that tends to overthink my language skills and inhibit my ability to speak languages I’m not fluent in -- and I made my case in very good French. I have never spoken French so well as when I was talking to the cop I’d been palmed off to and explaining to him why I was right and they were all wrong. My mom also insisted on talking to him, and after some hesitation -- which probably had less to do with touching my potentially virus-infested phone and more to do with being on the receiving end of a middle-aged mom’s wrath -- he took the call. I offered to put it on speaker and hold it so he wouldn’t have to, but he took the phone, and argued with my mom all the way through the airport. 

He seemed basically sympathetic and like he wanted to help, but his mantra was always the same: “I have my orders, I don’t know anything beyond what I’ve been told and I can’t disobey my orders.” He told mom the name of the organization to call to help out with this, but didn’t have a number for them, and couldn’t provide any other support. He was polite enough, but “polite” wasn’t going to get me home.

Where it got me was locked down tight in the airport international terminal with 10 other people who have also been turned away. 

Luckily, the terminal is massive, so there was plenty of room to maintain distance. 

The cops assured me that they would handle my suitcase and took my documents -- passport, Swedish residency card, and boarding passes from my trip (so they could make my flight reservations, they said, but there was probably more to it) -- and left me there.

An international airport at midnight during a pandemic is pretty much the definition of a liminal space. Every other seat in the gate waiting areas had a strip of red and white police tape running over it, back to front, and tied off at the top of the seat back to ensure that people would maintain proper distance and not sit next to each other. The music was on at a volume that, during the day, was probably appropriate to be unobtrusive over the ambient sounds of a living airport, but which in a locked-down terminal was unbelievably annoying. The lights were dim enough that there were still dark corners, and you could look around without your eyeballs melting out of your face. The only sounds (apart from the music) were the hum of the vending machines (our only food and drink options until the cafe opened at 5:30 the next morning) and the soft shuffling of people trying to get comfortable and get some sleep on the rock-hard, probably COVID-contaminated seat rows. 

We were given nothing. No hand sanitizer, no water (apart from what you could buy from the vending machines), no blankets or pillows. Nothing. We had access to bathrooms with hand soap, but you had to touch the dispensers with the heel of your hand. The paper towel dispensers also weren’t automatic, so you had to touch them to get the paper towels out. There was one janitor who came in around 1 AM to clean the whole terminal, which obviously wasn’t sufficient. 

I’m tough. I’ve been in some incredibly crappy situations, and at least we were warm and safe inside, and I wasn’t physically uncomfortable. I had some money to buy water, food, and later in the morning, coffee, and I figured out how to wash my hands without touching anything. But the fact that we were left in an almost certainly contaminated public space with no precautionary measures and no support for an extended amount of time -- 9 hours in my case -- was absolutely infuriating. And dangerous. And I am almost definitely going to get sick, probably because of that. 

Which only made me more determined to get home. If I was going to get sick, I was going to do it in a place where I could be taken care of and nursed back to health, instead of someone else’s apartment where I just rent a room and would have had a much larger radius of contamination (my landlady/flatmate has kids and grandkids and is still going to work). 

The issue, as the immigration cop had told me, came down to the fact that I had flown in from Germany. 

Even though I hadn’t set foot on German soil, I had been in a German airport, and that was apparently enough. If I had flown in from any other Schengen country (apart from France, Austria, or Italy), I could have entered with no problem, since I have Swedish residency. 

There was an obvious loophole there: while Sweden had no flights to that city for the following day (Sunday), Netherlands did. Brussels and Czechia did. 

So while my mom contacted the immigration authority in Bern, I booked a refundable flight for 9 PM Sunday evening from Amsterdam to my mom’s city, and would request that they send me to Amsterdam instead of Stockholm. The plan was basically to make a big loop and enter through a country they deemed acceptable. The irony wasn’t lost on me -- that I would risk further contamination by city-hopping in order to loop around and end up back where I started -- but the police had prevented me from just getting into my mom’s car and self-quarantining at her apartment, which had been the original plan, so I didn’t have much of a choice.

All that was left now was to wait -- in a non-sterile, contaminated airport terminal playing the most mediocre pop album-filler of the ‘70s and ‘80s. 

The only thing that made it bearable was that I made a friend. 

Around 1 AM, a 20-something Japanese dude in dress pants and a polo shirt shows up on our side of the terminal from the opposite end, wanting to know if we were also bothered by the music and if he should call someone about shutting it off. He wouldn’t bother if it was just him, so he wanted to see if it was collective. I agreed, and after a few failed attempts, we miraculously managed to reach someone who said they would do what they could to turn off the music. 

We got talking (and moved away from the people trying to sleep), and it turns out that it’s a small world and we were in an even smaller city, because our mothers work in the same department, were extremely close colleagues about 10 years ago, and still work together occasionally. I immediately recognized her name.

Turns out, this dude and I had both gone to school and done the IB in the same city. We both have moms working on COVID, dads living in our countries of origin (Japan for him, US for me), and younger sisters. He had also been turned away, despite having documentation that should have given him leave to enter. So there we were, stuck in that situation together, waiting to be deported and with our passports held hostage by the authorities.

We talked for six straight hours about every topic we could think of. Travel, food, relationships, siblings and family in general, COVID, electric cars, how our respective countries are reacting to COVID, racism and xenophobia (worsened by COVID -- he had an example from that same day), bosses and managers and how our offices are (and, in my case, had been) run, the pros and cons of wearing medical masks if you’re not showing symptoms of COVID, dry hands from all of the washing to avoid COVID, politics, our respective cultures and business cultures, depression and mental illness, natural disasters we had lived through, etc. “Ah fuck I’ve got COVID in my eye” became a bit of a running joke throughout the morning, as we became increasingly tired and our eyes increasingly dry, prompting runs to the bathroom to clear them out and wash our hands. We had both basically resigned ourselves to catching it -- it was just a matter of trying to pass it on to as few people as possible, preferably 0. 

Around 7 AM, my new friend -- let’s call him Mike -- points out that a guard is making a beeline towards us, and he’s not holding his passport. I look, and it’s mine, and I prepare myself to argue for them to send me to Amsterdam instead of Sweden. He tells me he had just come over to see me and make sure that I was still there (??? he had my passport where was I going to go??), and he would be back in 15 minutes to let me know whether or not I could enter Switzerland. 

I was completely baffled, because that option hadn’t even crossed my mind. I had been operating 100% on the assumption that I was going to be put on a plane. And Mike was happy for me, but also pretty miffed, because they had already booked a flight for him but our circumstances were pretty much identical. He had documentation proving extenuating circumstances, and I have Swedish residency and never set foot on German soil. The only difference between us is that he’s Japanese, and I’m white. I agreed that it was almost definitely a xenophobia thing, and told him that if I got in, I’d vouch for him. 

15 minutes later the cop (this one was very compassionate and borderline sweet compared to the ones we’d dealt with the previous night) comes back and tells me I could go through. I gather my stuff, and explain to him about Mike. The cop looks puzzled, but promises that he’ll make some calls and try to sort it out, and I should come with him. He takes me through to get my suitcase and escorts me to the exit, where he welcomes me to Switzerland with a big smile. 

I called my mom and settled in to wait for her to pick me up. Ten minutes later, Mike tells he’s also been allowed through. My mom (who had literally rolled out of bed in her pajamas, thrown on a coat and shoes, and jumped in the car) and I offered him a ride, but he had called his mom immediately and she was coming to get him. I didn’t see him again -- my mom arrived before he came through -- but we’ve been in touch, and both of us got home safe. 

Now my mom and I are completely self-quarantined with the cats, and honestly, it’s wonderful. We’re not leaving the house except for the occasional walk. I slept 12 hours last night. My mom is plying me with tea to make sure I’m hydrated as we wait for me to get sick, and I spent the 6 hours recording this whole nonsense saga for posterity.

tl;dr I was refused entry into my mom’s home country, spent the night in an airport terminal during a pandemic, and made friends with the son of one of my mom’s colleagues who just so happened to be in the exact same situation

[rachelstudies]

quarantine questions

tagged by @scorpio--studies!

1. Are you staying home from school? yep, i moved out of my uni’s hall on 14 april when they gave us two days?? of notice?? but anyway my semester is coming to an end so

2. Who’s there with you? my family! my parents + sister still have to work but my bro’s stuck here w me

3. Do you have pets for company? nope :-(

4. Who do you miss most? all my friends!! i was planning on using the summer hols to spend time with all the friends i haven’t met in a while, but guess that’s not happening :-(

5. When did you last go out? i think 2 april? when i had to film for a documentary project but that got cancelled so.. oh well

6. What’s the last thing you bought? bubble tea delivered to my house... HAHA

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or relaxing? insane LOL my extrovert ass just wants to get out of here

8. Are you a homebody? no... even in hall i don’t spend much time in my room bc i tend to be busy with something!

9. What films have you watched recently? i have a ton of films i want to watch but i’ve been watching a lot of netflix/youtube instead... 

10. An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled: there r SO MANY events that got cancelled, i can’t even pinpoint one. my friends and i wanted to go overseas together but we can’t do that now, orientation is likely to be cancelled (and i was supposed to be a GL for two camps), the rex orange county concert is postponed.. idk man

11. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel? does seeing my friends count?? bc i love seeing my friends.

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? LOL my uni cancelled all my finals + gave us free pass/fail options for everything. not the most ideal but i appreciate it bc i’m gna get a 5.0 gpa this semester babey!

13. Do you have any new hobbies? cooking! and not really new, but i’ve been planning on embroidering and altering my clothes! also i want to actually learn my bass guitar hehe :-)

14. What are you out of? hope... okay jkz the situation isn’t that dire but i honestly can’t imagine when this situation will end and what life will be after that. i’m going on exchange next year in january but i don’t even know if that will be affected... can’t even be optimistic now

15. What shows are you watching? a lot of friends and study vlogs on youtube (michelle choi and wholeheartedly, clarah) ! i want to watch some anime (i swear i’m not a weeb.) and maybe revisit some old favourites, like doctor who and teen wolf? eventually!! after my last submission this friday

16. What are you reading? ouch okay this question got me. i want to start reading again :”-) but currently nothing

17. What are you doing for self-care? uh... i’ve been cooking simple stuff like scrambled eggs and oats for myself, and trying to reach out to friends for my sake and theirs. also i’ve been playing a lot of animal crossing: pocket camp bc i don’t have a switch, but it’s kinda therapeutic hm

18. Are you exercising? lol no. i probably should though

19. How’s your toilet paper supply? eh it’s fine

20. Have you made any hair changes? lol i dyed my hair this rly bright pink (think lavagirl’s hair colour). i wanted to bleach my black roots too but, who knows when this will end right? so i’m holding out on that

i tag @swiftstudyblr @jiastudies and anyone who wants to do this!! just say i tagged u :-)

[themisterdarcy]

dear darcy,

what’s up? it’s currently thursday, april 30, 2020. we are in the middle of the covid-19 pandemic, and north carolina is on lockdown. well, technically. we are actually the worst state in the entire country in pandemic support. there are 1.06 million confirmed cases in the entire country, with 9,948 in north carolina, and 1,567 in mecklenburg county alone. the stay-at-home order is still supposed to be lifted on may 8th, though. that’s next friday. i don’t know how on earth anybody thinks that is a good idea, but the governor has the power in this situation.

school is canceled for the rest of the year, meaning that i have to finish my junior year online. i’m disappointed that i have to miss prom and seeing my friends (especially kai), but i think it’s for the best. nobody expected covid-19 to be this big of a deal, or for the quarantine to last this long. the day before schools closed, my apush teacher, mr. church, told us that he thought the situation was “blown out of proportion” and i quote: “there’s no way that school is going to be canceled.” even when schools closed, we were originally supposed to be back in school by march 30! here we are, a month later, and there’s no end in sight for this crisis.

trump is being absolutely useless, and even detrimental to the effort to contain the virus. he his early information about the virus, and didn’t bother to take precautions, leaving the country unprepared. by the time of the first case, it was hopeless. this week (or last week... time is all running together right now), he actually suggested in a press conference that a way to prevent/cure coronavirus would be to inject bleach/disinfectant into the body, or to illuminate the body from the inside with a uv light to kill the virus. both of these options as said by trump (uv light actually does have some merit to it, but it is in an entirely different context than trump suggested, and still in developmental phases) would be fatal, and aren’t even a solution to the main issue at hand: containing and controlling the spread of the virus.

in my opinion, new zealand has it down. i only know about it because amanda palmer is quarantined there, but they’re getting close to the end of 5 weeks of near complete lockdown. people are not allowed to leave their houses or visit non-immediate family members at all, and parks and public spaces are closed. while it does seem a little like an overextension of governmental power, it’s working. new zealand only has 1,476 total cases. thanks to prime minister jacinda ardern, the entire country has fewer cases than mecklenburg county. yes, new zealand only has a population of about 5 million, while mecklenburg county has 1.1 million, it’s still impressive that a population five times the size has 100 fewer cases. i honestly wouldn’t mind temporarily giving up some of my civil liberties and democratic principles if it meant that covid-19 was knocked out and controlled.

the people who are protesting the lockdowns are quite frankly narcissistic idiots who cannot see past their own ego. yes, staying at home is difficult and boring, but it’s the only way that life has any sort of chance of returning to a form of normalcy. i don’t think things will be exactly the same, nor do i think they should, but i do want to be able to hang out with friends again. i do want to go to school and have my senior year. i do want to be able to move out and go to college when the time comes. the more people disregard reality and ignore social distancing, the longer life will be like this. the protesters are only making things worse for themselves, and the saddest part is that i don’t think they realize this.

i’m writing these letters to future me (that’s you, darcy!) so that i can have a document of my life from the pandemic. also, i want to be able to remember what being 17 was like when i’m older. i do keep a journal, but that’s more for songs, poetry, and breakdowns. screaming into the void of the internet just feels more Official to me. also, i can’t lose a blog. that’s the thing about the internet: it’s forever, for better or for worse.

i think that i will open each letter with a discussion of any updates about the pandemic, focusing mainly on concrete facts and statistics. these are important to document, and i wish i had been recording this from the beginning. maybe i will go back and create a timeline, but i’m not sure yet. that might just be a task for another sleepless night. after the corona rundown, though, i’ll go into my own experiences and thoughts about the events of my life. these will probably be in bullet-point form, since my mind has the tendency to jump around as if topics were trampolines. i don’t know how often i’ll write, but i will try to everyday. every letter won’t be as long as this one, that’s for sure, but i do tend to ramble on. i hope you’re not overwhelmed, darcy.

taking a much needed break from 2020, how’s your life at the moment? i don’t know how old you are, but i’m assuming that you’re in college at the very least. are you and kai still together? i hope so. i really do love them. have you come out to the family yet? have you changed your name legally yet? i need to do that before my college graduation, because i want my degrees to be in My Name. the thing is, i’ll need to come out to change my name, and that is an issue i don’t really care to think about at the moment. how did that go? was it as bad as i expect it will be? have you started t? besides transitioning, how is your academic and career life? i hope to go to the university of texas at austin and double major in physics and music theory and composition. did that happen? if it didn’t, where did you go to school, and did you stick with the course of study i mentioned? i can’t really imagine studying anything else, to be honest. physics and music theory are two of the most intimidating and difficult subjects there are, and they also happen to be my favorite subjects. i love being challenged mentally, and i also like being seen as intimidating. imagine: a punk, non-binary, queer physicist who also writes and performs music. is there anything more intimidating than that? i aspire to be the “scary kid in your physics class.” i want to be an exception.

i’ve written so much already, but i do have quite a bit to get off my chest. yesterday was a weird day, and i couldn’t sleep at all last night, so here we are. this is what being 17 is like:

it is 6:15 am, and i have stayed up all night.

i was planning on getting a lot of work done, but instead i wasted time listening to amanda palmer and browsing the internet.

my dad thinks i took my sleeping pill, so i need to stay quiet in my room until at least 10:00 tomorrow morning so he doesn’t get suspicious.

kai called me today, but only for 15 minutes. they are a month behind in school, and will only get their phone back once they are caught up. i don’t know when that will be, but i am preparing for the worst.

i identify as androgyne, meaning in between man and woman. recently, i stopped feeling like i was faking, though. instead of worrying that i was making it all up in my head, i’ve become confident that i am Androgyne. it makes sense. it always has made sense. when i was little, i asked my father if it was possible to be “half-girl, half-boy,” and i would tell people that about myself. just because i like glitter and riot grrrl doesn’t make me a girl. i am an enby.

this is the song of the night:

i realized today that i have not left the house (excepting switching between mother’s/father’s) in an entire month. at the beginning of this lockdown, i was struggling, but i feel like i’ve adjusted more or less. this feels normal, now. i don’t feel like i’m missing something from my daily life.

10 days clean :)

my sleep schedule is fucked up. dr. kissam has put me on a mood stabilizer, an antidepressant, and a sleep medicine as well as my anxiety meds because she’s concerned by my bipolar tendencies. my manic phases have gotten more intense and happen more often now, and my down phases have gotten worse than they have in a long time. i started hurting again, but i’m trying to stop. i think i have a handle on it now. i did give myself two stick and pokes on monday night, though... does that count? i don’t think so.

i have the deathly hallows on my ankle, and the androgyne symbol on my left middle finger. it looks more like an anchor or a dandelion though. :/ i like them anyways, because they are Mine. My body. My decisions. I Am My Own Person.

during the call today, i felt like kai was distancing themself from me. i don’t know if i’m overthinking a 15 minute chat, but they didn’t seem like their usual clingy, lovey self. i’m worried that they’re going to decide they don’t want to be with me anymore during this time that they are off their phone, but i know that it’s just anxiety. overthinking is my enemy. kai loves me. i love them. we are in a healthy, stable relationship (for the first time in my life!!). they aren’t going to decide to leave me out of the blue.

the song for the kai situation:

sometimes i wonder what life would be like if i could just focus on school like a normal person. i have good grades, but i am a Very Chaotic student. if i could just sit down and complete assignments at a normal pace and with consistent motivation, what would i be able to achieve? would i be in a bunch of service organizations? would i be on student council? who knows?! i am darcy, and i am tied for valedictorian while never doing my homework. i don’t know how i do it either.

i’ve decided that i don’t like my confirmation name (octavian) as my middle name. i want to take my dad’s middle name, lamont. darcy lamont wheeler. it’s a super cool name, and it has Significance. our family is directly descended from the lamont clan in scotland. it’s also my grandmother’s maiden name, which i feel like makes sense because my dead middle name was her middle name. poetic justice. symmetry. i have come full circle.

hi! my name is darcy lamont wheeler.

darcy means “dark one.” i really, really like that. i like thinking that i am connected to the somewhat dark and eccentric. like the dresden dolls, or disturbing short stories. darkness adds complexity. nuance. background.

my favorite short story is “i have no mouth & i must scream” by harlan ellison. it is so completely terrifying, so beautifully disgusting, so brilliantly bizarre, so disturbingly ominous, and i have never read anything else that has come close to comparing. i love science fiction, especially dystopian ideas about technology advancing past the point of no return. it’s crazy to me that what could be considered mankind’s greatest achievement is so close to being our downfall.

everybody is awake now, and i hear them in the kitchen. i wonder when i stopped wanting to be awake. matthew and brianna seem to wake up as early as they can and fight bedtime until the absolute limit, as if they want to maximize the hours that they have each day. each morning is a new chance for fun. they don’t seem to resent life yet. i would rather be asleep instead of conscious most of the time. days are uniformly boring and miserable, with the rare diversion. why would i want them to be longer than they have to be? is this depression or is this just growing up? i can’t even tell anymore.

i missed amanda palmer’s birthday livestream yesterday, so i’m going to watch it today. two hours of her and her quarantine buddies sounds like heaven. this woman’s music quite honestly saved my life, and she is the epitome of badass!! i love amanda palmer. i wish i could write songs like she can.

on the topic of the dresden dolls, i asked brian viglione, the drummer, to “prom” as a pretense to ask him about his experiences as a musician, and for advice about how to develop my music. against all the odds, he accepted, so now, on may 9th at 8:00 pm, i am going to facetime with Brian Viglione, drummer for the dresden dolls and the violent femmes, among many others. life? made. i still can barely believe that this is actually happening!!

i came out to my english class, including ms. blaylock on tuesday. everybody reacted really well, and in that class at least, i get to go by my name and use my pronouns. i honestly couldn’t believe that i had the balls to tell anybody besides kai’s family, but i did, and it actually went well! the fact that there are people calling me darcy makes me so happy that i can’t even put it into words. it’s validating. i am darcy. not just when i’m by myself, but in real life. i am darcy.

is it weird that i’m not crippled by kai’s absence? i used to be an unproductive tangle of anxiety whenever mary was out of touch, even for a few hours. i was constantly worried that she was going to hurt herself, or that she was going to leave me. the thing is, even though i am in love with kai and i only thought that i loved mary because she was the first girl i was with, i don’t miss them to the point that i can’t function. i don’t think about them 24/7. i do miss them at times, and i cannot wait until we can talk again, but it’s not an all-consuming thing. i can go through my entire day without talking to them, no problem. night time is a little harder, but that’s because night is always when i go down spirals and rabbitholes. maybe this means that our relationship is healthy? co-dependency is a bad thing, i know, but i don’t know what a healthy relationship feels like since the only other experiences i’ve had (jack, mary, saanchi, rachel) have all been toxic in their own way.

one thing i have learned with kai is the importance of boundaries in a relationship. just because i love everything about them doesn’t mean that it’s healthy for us to share everything. there was a time where we were both in dark places and hurting, and when they shared what they did, it would set me off. the same went for them, i was using them as a journal too often, and the emotional burden had started to affect them. we had a conversation about this though, and established clear lines that we will not cross. it felt good to figure that out. i felt mature, looking out for my own needs and respecting kai’s. isn’t that how a relationship should work?

i love kai.

i’ve written a SHIT-TON. i think this is enough for now, but i might write another letter today. this was cathartic, and i feel like i’ve processed some shit as well as made a record for the future. i hope you weren’t bored or overwhelmed by my novel, darcy. i’m just writing what i feel is important, and i hope it’s still important to you.

signing off,

darcy lamont wheeler