#i miss when i watch s1 for the first time

[sqtorux]

hi fam *giggles* so ive been in a major burn out since a month- two months ago? and *hehe* im losing my mind bc it's not going away i feel like suguru during his tweaking moments yk

but rn im grabbing the mic to announce that after reading so so So So SO SOOOO many opinions on the jjk ending, i have decided to stick with one for my mental health :D spoilers under the cut

i read a tweet where they said that all the people who've died, who were not mourned weren't forgotten or that their deaths weren't taken lightly at all, but instead are alive and living inside the memories of the people who did survive.

and i think that's absolutely beautiful dare i say even more beautiful than someone returning from their own death actually. the reason why gojo's death wasn't acknowledged was because of this too, he won. he got his goal— nourishing a new generation who grew up to be even stronger than him, even if it costed his life. i honestly think he's happy and that everybody who departed too, deserves to rest.

the sukuna redemption was a little unexpected but it gave so much depth to his character and the last panel showcasing his fingers was very poetic to me. there were sunrays shining through the small door being opened, the finger being unsealed and the writing on the box saying "against malevolence and vengeful curses/spirits" – the very thing sukuna was. literary masterpiece ugh shakespeare who.

it took me a while to come to terms with the ending honestly because i had such an awful attachment to jjk esp gojo i was a little bit disappointed he wasn't acknowledged more (can u blame me tho) but i really do think gege did very exceptional in ending jjk. of course there are a lot of things i still selfishly wanted, the most being closure with megumi and his family background from gojo himself and not just a letter. then again, it's so on brand of gojo lol.

that's basically my rant i have no idea what to do now that the thing ive been hyperfixating on is ending. maybe i can wait for the anime but that'll take years absjdkdk im having a crisis rn bye

[demadogs]

stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.

[sammygender]

i hate it when people put angel low on their character ranking what are you DOING that’s ANGEL thats angel :( hes the og spike except he’s like a different type of loser. i know he’s kind of creepy in btvs sometimes and he’s a shit boyfriend but we all have our regrets. this is hilariously ironic because i really did not like angel when i first watched btvs and now, a year later, i am a die hard bangel divorce fan

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cws: non-detailed discussion of both fictional and irl SA/CSA/abuse dynamics, apologia for the previous, homophobia, fetishization of wlw, and anti rhetoric.]

-

having a lot of thoughts about the wider fandom's treatment of the various abuse dynamics present in sdmi--supposedly in the name of being anti-abuse--and how instead it's propagated deeply anti-survivor/abuse apologist sentiment and behavior through where they choose to apply that rhetoric, and where they choose to look the other way.

(first off, if you're someone who does not and has not done this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. second, this is not at all exhaustive of my feelings on the subject and there will probably be more posts about these dynamics and people's behavior toward them in future. as you can imagine by the length of this post that is saying something lmao)

one of the reasons i feel as strongly as i do about the way both canon and fandom have historically been about pericles, pericky, and shitting on anyone who likes them because it Normalizes Abuse(tm), is that their fans are pretty open and emphatic about the fact that it's Fucked Up. it's why we find it compelling. it is vanishingly rare that we don't.

meanwhile, velma is the UwU Cute Sassy Lesbian Icon whose relationship with shaggy was Cringy and Immature (and mutually so 🙃) at worst, when it directly mirrored such visceral aspects of my experience with CSA that i almost threw up rewatching the second episode.

and that's not even getting into how normalized it is for women to abuse men in a relationship, in broad fucking daylight in front of other people, and how men are supposed to Always Want It and it's an insult if they don't, and how the vast majority of CSA--which it overtly is in shaggy's case, he is implied not to be an adult yet--is perpetrated by other kids.

and it's also not getting into the fact that the ~cute lesbian relationship~ is almost certainly going to end up with the other queer girl in the show also being abused, because abusers are not Magically Cured by True Queer Love's Kiss. how it is incredibly difficult for survivors of abuse in a wlw relationship to be acknowledged or get support because then they'd be a Traitor, or people would rather maintain the feel-good fuzzy feelings wlw exist to give them, or they're closeted and it's not safe to let people know they're in a relationship with a woman. how queer relationships, especially between women, are fetishized as cute pure healthy fairytale romances and not dynamics involving real people who might harm each other or be harmed and need help.

and that's not even getting into the fact that mlm are seen as inherently predatory to an extent that the majority of other queer identities are not. how older queer men grooming boys is a classic homophobic stereotype used to justify violence toward them, up to and including lynchings, and how that is the abuse dynamic everyone in the show and fandom latched onto to revile as the Disgusting Evil Predatory One while giving everything else a pass. how mlm have a long history of forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, and the Predatory Gay Man is subjected to decades of--you guessed it!--forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, which is framed as what he deserved and where he belonged. how he's supposed to be unattractive (and the majority of the people who do this shit lean hard on that), while people are way more likely to give Charming Attractive Aesthetically Pleasing abusers a pass.

this is just..... normal, to the fandom. it's treated as completely normal. and i think that's a whole lot more fucking harmful than finding emotional catharsis in exploring an abusive dynamic that would not fly in broad daylight irl in a million years.

[artekai]

I love the season 1 finale because if you saw it out of context you'd probably think the show was playing it straight by building up the romantic atmosphere and getting you into Rebecca's head and all that but really it is not a triumph but a defeat for Rebecca, she's finally getting everything she wanted, everything she worked for, everything she upended her life for, and she might not know or want to know it at the moment, but then there's me in the audience, even on my first watch, chewing on furniture because it's clear that this can only spell disaster for her, and, despite the pretty music and the gorgeous shots, Rebecca getting her dream man is NOT a happy ending for anyone, underneath the sweetness there is a layer of bitterness that you can't shake off, even though we all know this was where the narrative was headed all along, and this is only the beginning

[altruistic-meme]

i want to get started on the Full Hands List but i am waiting on my apartment people for scheduled maintenance and i don't really want to start until they leave but i also have no idea what time they'll make it to my apartment so we're just playing the waiting game now

[iamnot-theboynextdoor]

lmao i saw my psychiatrist yesterday and the very first words he said to me were "have you seen it?"

[bloodrvvvsh]

I Have No Shame. | Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Synopsis: Spencer joins the Mile High Club with your help.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Warnings: Handjobs, semi-public sex, they get caught (sort of?), soft sub!Spencer, soft dom!Reader, Spencer being a whimpering whining mess, facials, cum eating, established relationship, pet names (baby, sweetheart, angel, honey, good boy), literally so much praise, a little bit of crying from Spencer, like one (1) use of Y/N, slight dumbification, begging

Word count: 1.5K

Notes: My first Spencer fic wow!!!! It’s been so long since I’ve written an actual fic, I missed it so much. Anyways I hope you all enjoy! For this I imagined like s1-s4 Spence but could technically be interpreted as any season

Cross-posted on A03.

Spencer Reid was not a bold man.

In fact, he would go as far to say he was the total opposite. At least, in his personal life he certainly was. He never made the first move, always waiting for that perfect time that never came.

He didn’t like taking risks. Even calculated ones were too much for him sometimes. So he stayed in his little bubble of comfort and safety. He liked it there. Sure, it might make him the subject of a bit of teasing and he missed out on a few things, but at the end of the day he still liked it there.

Until he met you.

You were everything he wasn’t. Outgoing, daring, bold. In some ways, you could even be described as a bit of an adrenaline junkie. It’s actually partly what led you to joining the FBI. You liked the thrill, the high stakes, the way it got your blood pumping when you had to chase down a criminal on the loose. 

You lived for taking risks. The idea of never truly knowing what might happen made your spine tingle, every one of your hairs stand on. There wasn’t a better feeling than feeling a little sick to your stomach with nerves and excitement for you.

It's an interesting dynamic you and Spencer had - he was all for playing it safe and keeping to himself, while you could be a wildcard. Spencer learned that very quickly after you two started dating. And while it wasn’t that you were trying to change him (you would never!), you were simply opening him up to things he wouldn’t have thought twice about.

Everyone else on the jet was fast asleep. Slumped over and curled up in positions that would certainly give them a knot in their neck later. Spencer had his head laid over your lap, curls sprawled across your thighs while you mindlessly twirled the strands around your fingers. 

You were still wide awake. The rush of the case just closed still ran hot through your veins. You’d most definitely crash later once in the sanctity of your apartment, but for now you were full of energy. You tried to distract yourself by staring out the jet window, watching the world go by, but it wasn’t working.

You glanced down at the pretty boy sprawled across you like a sleeping angel and a little thought popped into your head. You shifted in your seat, sitting up straighter, before you gently threaded your fingers into Spencer’s hair. Your nails scraped across his scalp and you almost swore you could have heard a little purr rumble in his chest.

You leaned over him, breathing slowly in vain attempt to settle your already racing heart. “Spence,” you crooned softly. “Spencer, wake up, baby.” Once Spencer actually fell asleep, he was a fairly light sleeper. It didn’t take much before he was stirring awake with a quiet groan.

“What is it?” he asked, voice thick with sleep. His hands raised to rub at his eyes and you could only smile. “Did we land?”

“No,” you said a little too quickly, “No, I just..” You trailed off a little as your teeth sunk down on your bottom lip. “I had an idea.” You stood to your feet and offered your hand out to him. He quirked an eyebrow, glancing between your face and outstretched hand, before slowly placing his in your grasp.

There was a little bit of a bounce in your steps as you led him in the direction of the bathroom and in that moment, Spencer regretted agreeing to whatever you were about to do. He squeezed your hand and you tossed  him a smile that reeked of mischief over your shoulder.

It was a tight squeeze once inside. Because, like most airplane bathrooms, it was meant to only fit one person at a time. That didn’t stop a lot of people, though. And you were one of them.

You crashed your lips against his the minute the door locked behind the two of you. It was hot, full of passion and lust as your hands roamed over his body. He whimpered softly against your lips before relaxing into the kiss. His hands were warm and broad against your body, sending shivers down your spine.

You didn’t waste time when you wanted something, and you wanted him right here and now. Your hands drifted until they hit their target - his belt. You broke for air, panting heavy and hard, as you tried to make quick work of shedding the layers between you and his dick.

“Y/N-” he gasped. “Wait, wait-” He took hold of your wrists, halting your movements. His eyebrows pinched together and his bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly. “What if we get caught?”

You grinned at him. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to be quiet so we won’t.” You knew just how much of a struggle it was for Spencer to keep himself under control when he was feeling good. The noise complaints from your neighbors were proof enough. 

Your hand dipped into his pants and underwear and you tried to suppress the smirk that threatened to spread over your face when you wrapped your fingers for his half-hard cock. He gasped, but quickly slapped a hand over his mouth when you shot him a look.

His eyes rolled back as you began to stroke along his length. Your thumb brushed over the tip, smearing the pre-cum gathering and Spencer’s knees buckled. Your pace was slow, almost languid, teasing.

“Please,” Spencer whined. You grinned once more.

“Please what?” you murmured. You leaned even closer to him, somehow, hovering over his lips. You were both breathing heavily and practically sharing breaths. You took a moment to look over his adorably flushed face. “You’re so pretty, Spence..”

“Please.” He wasn’t even sure what he was begging for, pleasure clouding his usually bright mind. “Please, please, pl-ease.” His voice cracked when you sped up, his head lulling back. “F-feels so good, oh god.”

You cooed at the state of him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Faux pity coated your words, making Spencer whine again. “Come on, use your words, honey. I can’t read minds.” You snickered.

His hand jumped to grab your wrist, not to stop you, no. He was too far gone to stop you now. He simply held it there, keeping a tight grip on you as you jerked his cock. 

He looked like a total mess. An absolutely stunning mess, but a mess nonetheless. Curls sticking to his forehead and cheeks, plush lips parted in soft moans, eyes squeezed tight, face flushed shades of red. His hips arched into your touch, cock twitching in your hold.

“Are you gonna cum?” you asked and he nodded frantically. His lips twitched into a soft frown as tears began to well in his big brown eyes. God, he always the prettiest he was all dumb and fucked out. “Good boy,” you crooned at him.

You dropped down to your knees. You finally freed his dick from the confines of his underwear and he hissed at the feeling of the cold air. You didn’t waste a moment to resume your ministrations.

“Look at me, Spencer,” you commanded and he immediately followed the order. He nearly lost it at the sight of you on your knees before him. “Good boy, that’s it..” You picked up the pace even further, hand almost a blur stroking him.

“I’m- I’m gonna-” he stumbled over his words, unable to even form proper words as the pleasure grew. You shook your head.

“Do it, Spence,” you commanded again. “You can do it. Cum all over my face, pretty boy.” And that’s all it took for Spencer to tumble right over the edge. He tightened his grip on your wrist, back arching as he spilled over your face in thick spurts.

You worked him through his orgasm, stroking slow and gently, until he began to whine from overstimulation. You slowly rose to your feet and Spencer was already offering you paper towels to clean yourself. You ran a finger through one of the streaks of cum on your face and brought it to your lips, eyes fluttering shut and soft groans escaping you as you tasted him.

When you opened your eyes again, he was beet-red and looking oh-so shy and cute. You giggled. You gladly took the paper towels and began to wipe away the remnants of his cum.

You connected your lips in a chaste kiss when you were finished, making him blush even more. “You did such a good job, angel,” you praised before pressing another kiss to his lips. He tucked himself back into his jeans and buckled them back up. You entangled your fingers together, leading him out of the bathroom.

You made your way back to your seats, a sense of satisfaction settled in your chest. “Reid?” The call of your boyfriend’s name had you both glancing back to see Hotch awake in one of the jet chairs. “Don’t do that again”

Heat washed over both of your cheeks and you had to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the growing smile on your lips. “Yes, sir,” Spencer said with a nod of his head.

At least you had fun.

[wishfulsketching]

I think some people miss the fact that Silco loves as hard as he hates. After the fallout with Vander, he had no real friends left. The betrayal, which was not merely a repriortizing of ideals but an outright murder attempt that left him disfigured, may have actually pushed him to become a bigger zealot than he already was.

The betrayal led to hate, that goes without saying, but I'd argue that all of Silco's love also redirected from people (who cannot be trusted) to his ambitions (which cannot hurt him, at least not directly).

I think it's really telling that once Jinx entered his life, Silco loved her more than his ideals. If he had only loved her insofar as she was useful to him, Silco would not hesitate to give her up. We see this was not the case. And, after finally understanding Vander's perspective and likely ruminating on the irony of his impending death, Silco bore no ill will against Jinx accidentally shooting him in a fit of distress. Instead, he affirmed his love for her and tacitly forgives her.

This makes Silco's forgiving of Vander in the au timeline believable. If he found the letter or Vander apologized and told him that the violence was in a moment of passionate weakness, Silco would forgive him provided not too much time has passed to allow resentment to fester. Jinx in the original timeline proves that an abundance of love and forgiveness are in-character for him. He is in fact a character of tremendous extremes.

Sorry for sitting with this for a while, wanted to have the time to answer.

I think this is a very good analysis of Silco, yes. He was never perfect, most likely could be very intense about their plans for Zaun and maybe did not care about if Enforcers got hurt, but that is almost given. He lived in absolute misery and he had clear enemies.

The thing that really made me get Silco was when he was confronting Vander in s1. The way he says "for RESPECT?!" was so telling of his...well, whole deal, the way he looks to the side like he could not believe that Vander didn't get it. He was still fighting the fight but now with trauma! Yay!

I can see him being able to forgive but like you said, there should not be too much time in between the drowning and the forgiveness. The way Vander tried to drown Silco is so violent, I was so taken back by it when I first watched Arcane. It was so clear that Silco could not do anything when Vander got his hands on him, the power difference was too great. He was terrified

And even when Silco tried to escape, leave the situation, Vander attacked again. It's so...cruel?? And that is why I love it. I love how messy they are. They lived among violence their whole life so yes, what's a bit of murder between them if they just talk about it seriously after. And give time to each other.

It's just so juicy that the man who most likely protected Silco his whole life attacked him the cruelest way possible. AND. It gives some nice flavor for Vander. He might be a house wife but he can kill you

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Up until the almost-end-of-the-world, the way Aziraphale and Crowley maintained their relationship was through a collection of well-established and repeated patterns (dances, you might say). These little rituals were what they used to communicate affection, intimacy and trust when they couldn’t say the things they wanted to say out loud. I like spending time with you. You make me happy, and I like making you happy. We’re in this together. I’ll always be there for you, even when your own side is not.

In season 1, as the stress of the impending apocalypse puts more and more pressure on their relationship, we see their patterns start to break down, and it’s very distressing for them. They’ve been communicating like this for so long that they don’t know what to do when one of them doesn’t follow the dance steps.

When we first see them in season 2, they seem in some ways to be closer than ever. They touch each other more easily, Aziraphale in particular. Crowley is comfortable enough in the bookshop that he has a Spot for putting his sunglasses when he takes them off by the door. They’re more open about acknowledging how much time they spend together and how many things in their lives are shared.

And I think, also, we expect them to be happy. They won, didn’t they? So it takes a while for the cracks to start to show.

It wasn’t until this post pointed out that the whole season, we never see them sit down and share a meal together in the present day (no, Crowley doesn’t eat; yes, it still counts) that it started coming together for me. The closer you look, the more you realize the old patterns they’re used to relying on are broken.

Three times, we see them sit down to their usual table for two (at the coffee shop, the bar, and the French restaurant) and then almost immediately get up again. This post also points out that we don’t see present-day Aziraphale eat anything on screen, other than one of the little candies in the Bentley. This in the same season we learn that Crowley is the one who introduced him to food! It’s one of their oldest rituals!

Even one of their most visually recognizable patterns starts to go wonky this season. In season 1, when the blocking allows it, Crowley’s always on Aziraphale’s left. When they’re standing or walking side by side, and most of the time when they’re sitting side by side together (there are some exceptions due to camera angles)…Crowley’s always on Aziraphale’s left (screen right if they’re facing us, screen left if we’re behind them). It’s one of the clues about the body swap that is easy to see when you know what to look for—in Berkeley Square they are each initially sitting on the “wrong” side of the bench. It’s so reliable that Aziraphale hears a little miracle bling in the sushi restaurant in s1 ep1 and turns to his left—because that’s where Crowley would appear—only to be startled by Gabriel on his right.

Go look at the scene where we find out Gabriel and Beez are a couple. You know the one.

And of course, many people have noted that in the end credits, we’d expect their positions on screen to be switched. They’re on the wrong sides. And it’s such a long shot that I think it has to be intentional.

Some people have speculated that this means they swapped bodies again. I don’t really buy that. Rather I think it is supposed to indicate what becomes extremely clear on a second viewing, that things are Off and Wrong. They are not okay.

And the more you watch them you see that Aziraphale’s excitement during his little adventures is manic and brittle, and that he misses having a place and a purpose and a mission to do good. And Crowley is depressed, unhealthily codependent, even more hypervigilant and cagey and angry than he was before. They both have layers and layers of trauma, and no way to talk about it. They have the time and freedom now to talk about what they want to be to each other, now that they don’t have to hide and encode and maintain plausible deniability. But they have no way to talk about that either, because that’s never been an option before. They don’t know how, and they are both so, so afraid.

And in the fights they have in episode 1 and episode 6, you realize they haven’t resolved anything from season 1. They’re having the same fight they had at the bandstand. Crowley wants to run, keep the two of them safe and damn the rest, and Aziraphale wants to stay and help, believing he can make a difference even in an imperfect system, and neither of them really understands the other’s position. It’s the same damn fight. They haven’t been able to move past this impasse, and it’s the exact thing that breaks them in the end.

And it’s just. Fuck. It’s such a human thing to have happened to them. To make it through the fire (metaphorical and literal) and then have everything go to shit afterward because of unaddressed traumas and insecurities and things left unsaid until they fester.

I know this is not at all how I expected the season to go, and I think it took a little while for me to parse what was going with their relationship, because we are predisposed to want them to be happy and to want things to be easy for them now. But it makes so much sense that this is where they ended up at this point in the story.

I know they’ll make it back to each other. They both love each other too much to give up. They’ll fight their way back together, and I know they’ll figure it out in the end.

But goddamn.

[kirislovelygf]

Req: (pre end of s1 events) Sevika falls in love with the (maybe younger??) reader who works at the last drop and she awkwardly has to figure out how to talk to them, knowing that she's intimidating.

across the bar (sevika x gn! reader)

contents: sevika has a crush on the bartender and keeps coming by but doesnt know how to talk to reader, have a little late night walk, they talk more, fluff, first meeting, confession, first kissesssss, reader has a FAT crush on sevika wrd count: 3.1k (yikesss)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

i’ve been a bartender at the last drop for about a couple months now. and almost every night i’ve been working here, sevika’s been in the corner. i thought she was hot at first. 

but then i caught her staring. at first i thought it was cute, like eye flirting but she never actually came up to talk to me. i’d bring shots to her table, some of her minions would come up and order for her, but she never talked to me. 

and every time i tried to talk to her, i’d miss her. she’d walk out ot he bar before i could get the chance. 

i was kind of creeped out. a big scary woman with scars and dark eyes watching me?

i got freaked out and started carrying a knife with me for the late night shifts. 

but then later, she actually started saying hi. my first instinct was to be nice. and there’d be instances where she’d try to come up to the bar but i was busy running around, making drinks. 

but the day came when she actually came up to order from me. 

i was laughing with my friend as they were sitting, sipping on a beer, when sevika came up and slammed her beer glass on the wood. we stared at her awkwardly and my friend took that as a sign to walk away. “i’ll.. come back later.” he said. 

i glared as he left. i look up at sevika. “hi. need a refill?” i asked. 

“nah.. what’s that?” she tilted her chin to a green and yellow colored drink a woman was enjoying in the corner booth.

“oh... zaun sunset. want one? i make them myself.” i said to her. she tilts her head slightly. “don’t you make all the drinks yourself? 

“i make some of them. but i just pour everything else.” i said. she squints her eyes at me, making my heart drop to my stomach. 

“anyway.. i’ll get started on that.” i smiled softly.

i went to get the drinks to make it while glancing every couple seconds. she didn’t leave the bar and everytime we made eye-contact, she’d look away. 

now that she’s not in the darkest corner of the bar and i can see her face, she’s actually really hot. 

hopefully she’s just hot and not a creep. 

i placed two cherries on the drink and went and placed it in front of her with a napkin beside it. 

“here you go.” i smiled softly. 

she stared at it. “it’s a little.. frilly, don’t you think?” she muttered. 

“is it the cherries?” i chuckled. 

she stares at it for another second and picks out the cherries onto a napkin i placed beside the drink. i laugh softly before she takes a long sip. 

i watched her eyes widen and i chuckled softly. “is it still too frilly?” 

“what the hell did you put in this?” she asked. “everything.”  

i smiled at her. she's kinda.. 

someone called me over for a refill. “you enjoy that.” i said to her. i took the cherry from her napkin and popped it in my mouth before  i walked away. 

the rest of the night continued to pour people's drinks and stuff. 

around two a.m, i closed the bar for the night. i waved bye to the last person that walked out and locked the door. 

i then turned to the dirty, unorganized, sticky, smelly bar and sighed out. 

it was my night to clean so i walked over to the record player before getting started. 

while looking for some music, someone knocked on the door. 

“we’re closed, go away.” i yelled out, looking back at the door. the silhouette looked familiar and i walked over to the window. i stepped on a chair to look through it. 

it was sevika pacing the floor outside the door. 

“oh..” 

i jumped down from the chair, unlocked the door and opened it. she had her fist rased, about to knock again.

“hey. sorry about that, um.. you know we’re closed right?” 

“i know. i just uh..” she stuttered. 

“i noticed you didn't leave.. and there’s some drunk guys down the alley. i just.. didn’t want you walking home alone.” she explained. 

so she was waiting for me to leave..

“oh! okay.. well, i have to clean the bar, so maybe once i’m done, you can walk me home?”

her eyes widened slightly. “um..” 

“i’ll be quick. i could use the company anyway.” 

she nodded and i let her in before locking the door again. i went over to the record player and found a song. “la camisa negra” played the opening notes before i turned up the volume. 

“can i help?” she asked as i walked over. 

“nah, just sit. talk to me.” i smiled. i went to find a rag and spray. 

“your name’s sevika, right?” 

“um.. yeah.” she said as she took a seat at the bar.

“do you know my name?” i asked as i walked to a table. 

“i might be wrong. is it y/n?” 

“yeah, good guess.” i chuckled. 

i looked up at her, smiling softly. she shakes her head. “i feel bad just sitting here.” she stepped off the bar stool and walked over. 

“here..” she stands in front of me and gently takes the rag and spray from my hand. 

“i got these tables.” she hummed in a low tone. 

i have never been so turned on. oh my god. 

i stared up at her as my face went hot. “uhuh.. thanks..” i muttered as i walked away. i looked back at her wiping down the table with her hand. 

i huffed and waved a hand at my face. “hot.. hot in here.” i whispered. 

i found another rag and spray bottle and joined her. 

it was silent for a second before i started talking to her. 

“so.. what do you do? besides hang around here..” i asked. she glances up at me before muttering. “um..” 

“if i had to guess.. cake decorator?” i smiled. she laughs softly. 

“orr.. maybe you make cute clothes for little dogs.” i said. 

“dogs need clothes?” 

“yeah! they get cold.” i joked. she shakes her head. 

he picks up her supplies and moves to a table closer to me. oh my god, look at her muscles. she looks so good. 

“so what do you actually do?” i said, regrettably taking my eyes off her.

“i work for vander.. sort of.”  

“wow.. i was way off.” i moved to another table. “you just.. move deliveries for him or something?” 

“sort of.” she hummed. 

i look over and she’s not smiling anymore. 

“what about you? is this the only thing you do?” she asked. 

“the only thing i get paid for. and it’s not much, you know how cheap vander is.” i joked. she smiles softly.

wait, she's so cute, aw.

“but i paint and stuff sometimes. that canvas over there?” she looks at me and i direct her to a canvas hanging over the booth in the corner. it was of the skyline of zaun but brighter with happier colors. 

“i just finished it last month.” i told her. 

“whoa...” she hummed. “it’s nice.” 

i smiled. “how long did it take you?” 

“just a week or two. it’s hard to stop when i’m really into something.” i said. 

“hm.. is there more?” she asked. 

i look up from the table. i move on to the one she was at. “yeah, i paint stuff all over the city. not those dumb, sloppy graffiti tags kids make.. most of the murals you see, i made them.” i shrugged. 

“no way.” she said. “you should show me once we get outta here.”

“you sure? we’re gonna walk a lot.” i said, looking up at her. oh my god, her lips look so biteable. would she mind if i jumped over this table right now? 

“i don’t mind.” she shook her head slightly before moving on to another table. i watched her before moving to another table. 

we eventually finished and she insisted on lifting all the chairs to put them over the tables. i’m so glad i let her. 

i got to watch her flex her muscles for like ten minutes while pretending to clean the bar. 

i wasn’t cleaning no damn bar. i was imagining what her muscles would feel like around my head. 

“you finished?”

“huh?” she was in front of me on the other side of the bar. she blinked. “are you finished here?” 

“oh! yeah, just about.” i chuckled. i quickly wiped it down before moving to put away the bottles of liquor i left out. 

i was too lazy to get the step stool from the back, so i tried reaching the top shelf to put away the whiskey.

“let me get that for you.” i heard sevika mutter.she went up behind me and she took the bottle from my hand before placing it on the shelf with ease. 

she goes for the other bottle. “this too?” 

“yeah..” i breathed out. 

i was under her, watching her, staring at her face before she looked down at me. 

i should have some shame but i don’t. and i don’t care!

“thanks.” 

“no problem.” 

“i could use your help around here more often. to reach the tall stuff.” i hummed softly. 

i thought she was going to kiss me before she walked away. “maybe..” she hummed. 

i swear she was teasing me. or what if she hates me? 

my eyes rolled to the back of my head before i went to go find the broom. 

she tried to take the broom from me but i insisted it was fine. “it’s okay! i got it.” i laughed. 

“just go sit.. pour yourself some whiskey or something.” i chuckled. 

“i just put it away.” she said as she walked over to sit. “then water, i dunno.” 

we look at eachother, chuckling softly. 

“i still feel bad just watching you.” 

“there’s literally nothing else for you to do. just talk to me.” i chuckled as i sweeped under tables. 

“i’m not.. very good at that.” she said. 

“that’s okay. um.. what's some stuff you like to do?” 

“drink.. gamble.. smoke.. read.. that’s it.” she shrugged. 

“okay..” i chuckled. “reading is cool. what do you like to read?” 

“old history books mostly. sounds boring, but i always loved learning.”

i look over at her. “that's… unexpected. you don’t see many people over fifteen reading down here.” 

“my old man made me learn when i was young.” she said. “ohh.” i chuckled.  

“so history.. what about fun fantasy books, hm? you like the ones with magic and stuff?” i asked. 

“when i was a kid, yeah.” she chuckled. “grown-ups can read those books too.” i said to her. 

i look over at her. her back against the chair, her arm and hand on the bar, my clothes slipping off. 

i mean, whaaatt. 

“i dunno.. after growing up down here, i stopped believing in  those stories, you know?” she walks over to the record player and changes the music. 

“just like everyone around here.” she hummed. 

i stared at her. i realized i just sweeped up the whole bar. i walked over to stand next to her seat. 

i leaned against the bar. “isn’t it better to believe in those than in whatever mess zaun is?” 

“it’d be nice but it’s not reality.” 

i studied her face. she had dark circles under her grey eyes. i wonder if her lips look that good  naturally or if she likes wearing lipstick. 

she looks down at me before nervously averting her gaze. 

“d-don’t you need to put that away?” she muttered. 

“ah.. yeah. i’ll be right back, then we can get out of here.”  

i walked away from her and came back to her, taking a cigarette out of her pocket. 

“alright, i’m done. lets go look at some of my art.” i sighed out. 

she turns off the record player and i turn off all the lights. 

she holds the door open for me. “what a gentle-lady, thank you.” i smiled. she laughed nervously and i turned to lock the door. i glanced at her. 

she was nervously flicking her lighter to get a flame. 

i smiled to myself at how such a terrifying woman can get nervous so easily. 

“come on..” i said to her. 

i’ve gone home with other hot people but i never completely trusted any of them. but for some reason, i felt so safe with her behind me. 

probably because she’s 6’5, like two hundred pounds of muscle and has a gun on her belt. 

i led her through the lanes, showing her a couple of my smaller murals. she had little to say about them but seeing her face, i knew she liked them. 

i finished showing her another one before taking her hand. “my best one is this way, come on.” 

i led her to an alleyway before i let go of her hand. we turned a couple corners, climbed a couple stairs, until we reached the rooftop of an old building and then onto its balcony. 

she jumped down first before holding her arm out to help me. 

“thanks.” i smiled at her as i touched the metal floor. we look over at my mural on the wall of an old factory that towered over the neighborhood we were in. 

“this is the biggest one i’ve ever done. took me a couple months.” i said to her. “i named her 'the woman in the wind.' i think it’s my best piece.” 

she stared up at my piece in awe and i never felt so accomplished for a piece. 

i look up at her face. “you’re.. so incredibly talented.” she spoke. “how’d you even come up with something like this?” 

“it was supposed to start out as a mural of my mom, who died when i was little.. but i realized when i was sketching out her face that i didn’t remember her as well as i thought i did.” she both leaned against the railing to stare at the artwork. 

“even now, i’m not completely sure i remember what she looked like. and it was just barely.” i smiled. 

“so, i called it the woman in the wind because everytime i tried to remember her, it was like little details would come and go, like they were blowing past in a breeze..” i shrugged. 

i look up at her and she’s still staring. “i know it sounds weird and corny but-” 

“no.”

oh?? 

“it’s.. absolutely beautiful.” she nodded. 

she looks at me and smiles. suddenly, the scary woman who never spoke was the sweetest and prettiest person i’ve ever seen. 

“you know i’ve walked past this mural… probably a hundred times.” she sighed out.

“i think it’s even more beautiful now that i know someone like you made it.” she said.

no she didn't! that was perfect.

i laughed softly. “come on, don’t make me blush.” i jokingly hit her arm and she laughs. 

we’re silent for a moment, just staring at it. 

“have you always dreamed of doing something like this?” she asks, taking a drop from her cigarette. 

“yeah, but.. i dreamed of becoming someone famous and getting out of the undercity. i’d dream of owning a fancy apartment up on topside, selling my art..” i said.

she chuckled. i shoved her arm. “hey, don't laugh. i was a kid.” i laughed. 

“okay, okay..” 

ugh, she’s gorgeous. 

“you had to have had crazy dreams when you were little too., right?” she chuckled.

she blinks and looks away. “nah..”

“yeah, you do. come on, i won’t laugh.” i smiled. 

“i mean.. it was a long time ago but for a while i wanted to be a zookeeper. i liked animals, so..” she shrugged. 

“that’s.. not crazy. that's so cute! never would've assumed you were an animal lover.” i said teasingly. 

she laughs softly. “you have any pets?” 

“nah, i don’t got any time for that. running all over the lanes keeps me busy.” 

“hmm..” i watch her with a smile on her face. i dont know why i was ever scared of her, she’s so cute and sweet.  

“anyway.. we should get you home.” she said, exhaling smoke. “it’s getting late.” 

“you can say you’re bored of me, it's okay.” i said jokingly. “what? no!” she chuckled. i climbed up to the roof before turning to help her but she barely needed it. 

we walked through the lanes lit by neon green and purple lights. we talked the whole way home and all the weird junkies and prostitutes and just weird night people walked right past us or avoided us. 

i have to take like ten shortcuts just to avoid the main streets. but everyone was  terrified of even making eye contact with sevika.

the closer we got to my house, the more she started opening up to me.

we finally arrived to my small place. i had my key in my hand and stepped on one of the steps that led to my front door. 

“i really appreciate you walking me home.” i said, leaning on the railing. 

“yeah, of course. but.. do you usually work so late? and walk home by yourself? it’s not very safe.” 

i laughed. i pulled up my pant leg and took out the knife i mentioned i started carrying when she first started borderline stalking me. 

“whoa-” she jerks her head back at the size of the blade. 

“yeah, not safe for anyone who talks to me. me? i’m good.” i shrugged. she laughs slightly before i put it back. 

“huh.. well, next time, just let me know. i’d be happy to do it again.” she inched closer to me. her chin was slightly lifted up as i’m now around her height. 

“unless you have a scarier and taller person to do it instead.” she shrugged. i laughed.

“nah, i think i'll just stick with you.” 

ugh can she kiss me already. okay, you know what? i’m getting this over with. fuck a slowburn, i need her tonight.

“actually, it’s way too late for you to walk home.” i said. her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

she knows she will obviously be fine walking at any hour at night by herself. 

“you can stay over tonight..” i hummed. 

“are you sure?” she asked. i simply shrugged. she looks down at my hand and takes it in hers. 

she stares at me for a second before pulling me forward. i caught myself on her chest and we laughed as my hands went to hold her face. 

we kissed before her hand snaked around my waist. 

i never walked home by myself again after that night. 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

a/n: thank you @dopemusiccowboy for submitting this!! i had fun writing it!

[cameronsprincess]

Omg I just thought of this, but what about S1 Rafe getting reader to try coke for the first time and they just have hot, high, intimate sex 🙏

lawdddd to have nasty high sex with him😔

CW: smut! 18+ only! cocaine use, fingering, piv sex, praise and slight degrading.

“just one line babe, promise it’ll make you feel so good.”

you look at rafe and then back down at the two perfect white lines he has cut up on the table in front of you. it wasn’t that you were scared, you just knew the chokehold this shit had on rafe, and you didn’t want to be addicted to it as well. but you trusted rafe, and if he said just one line, he more than likely meant just one line.

you suck in a deep breath before saying “fuck it.” and yank the rolled up hundred dollar bill from your boyfriends hand. it was just you and him, so you didn’t have to worry about making a fool of yourself in front of a shit ton of people, and rafe had already seen you at your worst, there wasn’t much more you could do that was embarrassing in front of him.

rafe smirks at you, watching as you take in another deep breath before leaning forward and place one end of the bill on the line. you shove the bill forward, sniffing up the white powder before pulling back and dropping the bill in your lap.

your nostril burned, and you pinched off your nose, coughing as a bitter taste filled the back of your throat and tongue.

“oh, god. is it supposed to taste this bad?” you ask, coughing and slightly gagging.

rafe chuckles, pulling the bill from your lap and doing his own line. once he’s done, he drops the bill on the table and pulls you into his arms, tightening his hold on you and saying, “the cocaine drip is always nasty at first, you get used to it. plus, your throat and mouth should start numbing soon, won’t taste a thing after that.”

rafe was right, after a few minutes the entire back of your throat felt numb, along with your tongue and gums. your entire body was buzzing, your thighs rubbing together as the high from the cocaine started to take over your body. you felt great.

“rafeeeeeeee.” you sing song as your hands rub up and down his bare thigh.

he smiles down at you, his eyes flitting down to watch your hand work its way up his thigh. “what’s up, baby?”

you pull your hand from his leg, adjusting yourself on the couch to face him before you pout. “‘m so horny…” you whine.

you don’t miss the way rafe’s eyes darken, his already dilated pupils growing, his typical ocean blue now swallowed by black. he reaches out his right hand, running his knuckles down the side of your face. you scoot closer to him, placing one of your hands on his covered dick, feeling how hard he was for you.

you grin. “looks like i’m not the only one.”

rafe breathes out a laugh before he grabs at your hips, yanking you up off the couch and pulling you into his lap. his large, ringed fingers run up and down your thighs before slowly making their way up your dress. you gasp when his fingers grip at your ass, squeezing the flesh tightly between his fingers.

“rafe-” you whimper, but his lips smashing against yours cut you off.

he kisses you hard, his tongue slipping into your mouth while his fingers dig further into your ass. you gasp and whimper into his mouth, grinding yourself against his hard-on through his khakis.

rafe stands, bringing you with him before he makes his way toward the spiral staircase. he carries you up and into his bedroom, never breaking his lips from yours until he’s tossing you onto his large mattress.

his darkened over eyes scan your entire body. you’re already on fire from the cocaine, but now rafe’s heated stare has your skin burning as well, a thin sheen of sweat beads on your forehead and you quickly wipe it with the back of your hand as you watch him intently, waiting on his next move.

“strip f’me, baby.” comes his command. his voice so low and raspy it has more arousal pooling in your already soaked panties.

you do as he says, sitting yourself up on your knees and pulling your dress over your head, tossing it to the floor. you’re left in a baby blue bra and lace panties, and you swear you see rafe physically drooling as he drinks in your body.

“fuck, you’re so goddamn perfect.” he praises, stripping his shirt from his body before working his belt and shorts off next.

you blush, reaching behind you and popping the strap of your bra, letting it fall onto the mattress in front of you. you lift yourself up on your knees, pulling your panties down next before they too go to the floor with the rest of your clothes.

rafe takes a step toward you, his right hand reaching out to push a strand of hair behind your ear. he slowly pushes you onto your back before he crawls into the bed with you, settling himself on his knees between your open legs.

a shudder runs through your body, your mind going foggy when you feel his fingers lightly roaming around your inner thighs. he inches his fingers up, up, up until he finally reaches your weeping core. he runs his index and middle fingers through your folds, groaning when he feels how wet you already are.

“so fuckin’ wet f’me aren’t you, princess? such a needy little slut. my needy little slut.”

you whimper when he continues to run his thick fingers through your folds. up and down, up and down. he finally pushes the two thick digits inside your throbbing pussy. your back arches off the bed, your hips bucking wildly as you begin to grind yourself on his fingers, pushing him deeper, needing him to make you cum.

“fuck, rafe.. p-lease.” you choke out, tears already filling your eyes. you’re not sure if it’s the cocaine or just rafe’s touch alone, but you were so sensitive, the smallest touch had you writhing and begging for more.

“please what, sweetheart? be a good girl and tell me what you need.”

“n-need to cum.. p-please!” you cry out when his fingers pick up in pace. he curves them slightly, toying with that spongey sweet spot deep inside your aching cunt. your pussy pulses, inner walls clenching down around his fingers before your entire body begins shaking. you come undone around his fingers, crying out his name as he continues to fuck his fingers into your cunt, working you through your high.

“so pretty when you cum for me. could keep you like this forever ya know?”

you whimper, your clit throbbing and pussy pulsing. you needed to feel his cock. needed him to stretch you out and fill you with his cum.

“please… please fuck me, rafe.”

he grins down at you as he slowly removes his fingers from inside you. “don’t worry, baby. ‘m gonna fuck you, and you’re gonna cum all over my cock while i fill you with my cum.”

rafe lifts himself onto his knees, sliding his boxers down his legs and dropping them to the floor. his hard cock springs free, slapping just below his belly button. he crawls on top of you, pinning your body down with his weight. he pushes himself up with his left hand, his right gripping at his thick shaft and stroking it a few times. he runs his swollen, leaking tip through your folds, flicking over your clit a few times and making you whimper and squirm beneath him.

you open your mouth to speak, but only strangled moans and whines come out. rafe continues to tease you with his cock, making you wetter and wetter before he finally shoves himself inside you, filling you and stretching you completely.

you let out a loud whine, grinding your hips against his. rafe lets out a raspy groan, the feel of your hips grinding against his, the feel of your warm, wet walls tightly wrapped around his cock has his mind foggy. you felt so fucking good, and his body was already buzzing and sensitive from the lines he did today, he knew he wasn’t going to last long, but he was going to try his hardest to drag this out.

his hips start to slowly roll into yours, the slow, deep thrusts having you both moaning in unison. he was so deep, his slow thrusts letting you feel every last inch and vein of his cock inside you.

“god, rafe… feels s’good.. so fucking good.” you whimper, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling his lips down to yours.

rafe kisses you deeply, his tongue gliding against yours as he swallowed all of your beautiful moans and whines. his teeth bite at your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth before he lets it slip out with a pop. he claims your lips again, kissing you with so much heat and passion it had your mind fucking spinning. it definitely had to be the cocaine. sex with rafe was good, but it’d never been this fucking good.

his swollen tip hits your g-spot and your pussy pulses, clenching around rafe’s dick and squeezing him so tightly he was seeing fucking stars. he wasn’t going to last, no matter how badly he wanted this to be drawn out, your pussy squeezing him so tightly had his dick pulsing and balls tightening.

your entire body stiffens as a warm feeling rushes through you. you dig your nails into his toned back, making him hiss in a breath when you break skin. “fuck… ‘m gonna cum baby.” rafe rasps.

you whine in response, letting him know you’re close too.

he slowly rolls his hips into you once more before his dick pulses, balls tightening and he’s coming deep inside your cunt. you’re not far behind him, your pussy clenching around him repeatedly, milking him for every drop of cum you can before you come undone around his cock.

“fffffuck!” he groans, his head falling into the crook of your neck.

the sound of your heavy breathing fills the room, rafe laying limply on top of you as he tries to calm his own breathing. once he comes down from his high, he slips himself from inside you and falls into the bed beside you, pulling you into his arms and holding you tightly against his chest.

“don’t want you addicted to the shit, and i will quit soon… but fuck if that wasn’t the best sex we’ve ever had.”

you chuckle, agreeing with his statement. “yeah.. definitely best fucking sex we’ve had.”

RAFE TAGLIST: @oceandriveab // @princessslutt // @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles // @rafesthroatbaby // @sturnioloshacker // @starkeysprincess // @rafescurtainbangz // @atorturedpoetx // @redhead1180 // @jjsmarijuana // @romaescapes // @kisses4angel // @maybankslover // @bellbottombaby // @simars3 // @rafesgiirl // @urbimom // @heartsforrafecam // @antagonize-me-motherfucker // @araminsstufff // @chaneydoll // @bi-zowee // @princesssuki21 // @zrm004 // @ijustwanttoreadlols // @baennied // @hyperfixationgirl // @justheretoreadthestories // @chiaraanatra // @chimindity // @juniebugg // @unsaidjaelinrose // @momoewn // @spid6y // @wearemadeofstardust0 // @vallovesyou // @daydreamrafe // @mattyskies // @fallrafwe

rafe cameron masterlist | requests | taglist form

[mimicha-arts]

LC - YINGDU EP1 SPOILERS, TW - blood, death scenes

Yeah I logged in just for LC to sum up things in my DMs with Forest (love u), mostly about dives.

Still have too many ideas about how mechanics actually work, as well as abilities transmigration, so I'll focus on differences of dives and some things from previous seasons.

Scene with Vein.

In my understanding, the opening scene already includes 2 different developments of events.

1, where CXS, after being wounded, was led by LG into the room, while Vein went to pick up the gun. We see bloody footprints, traces on the table, but that's all.

2, where Vein is already standing at the closed door, clearly shows other events - a chair, other objects scattered on the floor, according to the blood prints, the body seemed to have been dragged + there are no prints on the tabletop.

What is also interesting is that the background is slightly different in both scenes, if you pay attention to the shelves on the left.

There is a difference in the photos too - the first version shows only a crack, the second - a broken glass.

For me, the conclusion is that already here we see 2 different timelines.

Lu Guang's injury

In the first option, although Vein shoots at the door, he misses (time ~ 23:11), Lu Guang closes the door and is not injured

So , missing scene

We don't know what happened for about an hour. In the second version (cause it has stains on the floor, overturned things), the blood on the photo already speaks of the not shown scene. I doubt that Vein simply changed his mind and left, so Lu Guang had to "deal with" him.

At this point, he himself is deeply wounded, but the most important thing is that in these shots we are shown his yellow eyes - this is already a dive in a dive, some kind of repetition of the events.

s2ep12

At the same time, this drive is different from the drive that was shown in the second season.

The blood pattern on his clothes is similar, but even if we exclude the fact that he doesn't look out of breath/in pain, there are other details.

- blood stains on his face - furnishings, of objects on the table - blood on hands (by the way, in the scene with Vein, when he raised his hands in front of him, both of his hands were covered in blood)

Lu Guang's watch

For us as viewers, the watch on his right hand is a familiar part of the design, he wears it on his right hand in both s1 and s2

So, after diving, the first thing he tries to do is check the time, and looks at his right hand.

We still don't know the origin of his watch, since he didn't wear them in almost all the flashbacks. Except for the new one, where the watch is on his left hand.

Thus, Yingdu gives us a new diving point - April 12th (in addition to the dives on September 13).

Maybe the time of this dive will correlate with the time indicated in s2 (but with which there were no associated events)

Except for the poster, the watch on Lu Guang's left hand appeared in the flashback of CXS's death in s2, which probably separates this variant of his death from the ones shown in the scene with Vein, and perhaps the difference can give us insight into the timeline's chronologies later on.

September and April

To be honest, this whole thing makes me very excited, because of the existence of the old theory about the broken time in April and September - I wrote about it in detail a year ago in that post

Emma, April-September and chronology

For me, this means that circumstances of the case, who the unknown victim was, although they have faded into the background now, will still be a key.

Pretty sure this has all been discussed, but thanks for reading. Let's all… have fun with the new season ~

[heavenlyraindrops]

The Devil Made Me Do It | Arcane | Silco x Reader | Chapter One

also on AO3 and Quotev | visit the first tag to find other chapters | warnings: pre- s1 (for now), profanity, mentions of death, addiction, and prostitution

summary:

In the midst of an unfortunate run-in with the enforcers, you meet the young revolutionary Silco, and by extension, his friends Vander and Felicia. Growing close friends, you get through life in the undercity together, determined to make Zaun a better place. Until tragedy strikes, and betrayal and carelessness stabs hard enough to turn you bitter. Years later as time solidifies the scars, Silco proves to be a thorn in your side. You, in his. Hatred festers. And your world cracks further open.

Chapter One:

The undercity was certainly something.

Especially at night, when shadows extended their smoky tendrils to allow those dabbling in unsavoury business to lurk, gloomy buildings hiding things you’d be safer off not knowing within. People milling about, going about their private, dangerous business.

Water splashed across the street as your foot landed in a puddle, ankle twisting the wrong way as you tore through the filthy streets, enforcers hot on your heels. All this for heckling an officer? You clutched your shawl around you as the wind almost buffered it away.

It was ridiculous.

After bumping into a large man, a mother and her child, and knocking over a crate of sludge-y creatures, shouts trailing after you, you found an alleyway to disappear into. You scrambled up some wooden beams, eventually emerging onto the flat roof of the low, squatting building. You watched the idiotic Pilties run straight ahead, missing your small detour entirely, and scoffed, stepping away from the edge.

You turned, and made your way across the rooftops of Zaun. 

You’d reached an impasse. Well, not really- nothing a simple jump couldn’t fix. You squinted down into the dusty darkness of the narrow alley below your feet. This part of the undercity was silent- but you could hear the lapping water, and knew you were close to the river.

Vaulting over a concrete bar and pushing off with your feet, you landed on the other side of the gap with a thud. The roof shook, and you yelped as a tile slid off the edge, and crashed into the darkness.

Holding your breath, you heard nothing. The water continued to rumble. You turned to leave.

Until- 

“Fuck.”

You froze in horror. 

Creeping back towards the piped edge of the roof, weight on the backs of your feet, you peered into the darkness. The glowing end of a cigarette burned orange. You gulped.

A man emerged, stepping into your view. His brow was furrowed. Your hands were shaking. “I-I’m sorry!” You called out, and he scowled. 

“You nearly hit me!” He almost-yelled back. But taking a look at your face his expression softened. Against better judgement, you slid down the pipe, feet landing on the ground with an oof.

He looked at you, eyebrows raised. Someone in the undercity coming down to personally apologise for something like that instead of laughing in one’s face and running away was rare. He looked at the apologetic look on your face, and watched as you opened your mouth to speak while also stretching out your hand.

“I’m sorry…”

He reached for your hand too, ready to dismissively accept your apology and move on with his night.

“…But can I have a cigarette?”

His expression dropped.

You lazily took the cigarette from his hands and took a long, deep drag, tendrils of smoke curling from your mouth. At his frown, you moved it from your lips to speak.

“What? You don’t have herpes, do you? I’m not going to get it, am I?”

Wordlessly, he shook his head. You studied his face. Strong features, blue-green eyes. He wasn’t half bad looking.

I wouldn’t mind getting an STD from him.

Without a single reaction to your rather graphic thought you took another drag on the cigarette, before handing it back to him. “Thanks. Not everyone here knows that sharing is caring.”

He laughs, guarded, and then stops himself, surprised such a sound even came out at your words. You smiled at him sweetly. “And sorry for almost hitting your head and bashing it in with a tile. Though it wasn’t my fault, was it?”

“I suppose it was an accident,” he said stiffly, a strand of hair falling in front of his face. He dropped the cigarette, crushing it under his heel. “Miss…”

“[name]. Janna, I really needed to calm my nerves.” You stretched, arching your back like a cat, feeling the bones pop and muscles stretch deliciously. The man wet his lips, looking out at the street through the alley.

“And why would that be?” His voice was smooth. You readjusted your shawl. 

“Some enforcers were chasing me. The usual.” You let out a slow sigh, going to leave the alley without as much as a goodbye. He didn’t say anything, just watched you leave.

You planted a foot out into the street.

“That’s her!” 

You whipped your head around, watching a gaggle enforcers charging towards you. A scream tore from your lips you rushed back into the alleyway. The man grabbed you as you almost crashed into his chest.

“Fucking run!”

Shimmying up the pipe, you were back on the roof. You didn’t spare a turn to look back as your heavy lunges rattled the roofs, leaping over bars and gaps. You turned and saw an enforcer slip through a gap in the roofs, crashing into the street below. The man from the alley was just at your shoulder. Without a sparing a second you turned and left.

Once you were certain you’d lost the enforcers you stopped, chest heaving, and slumped onto the ground- roof- beneath you. The man stayed standing, eyeing you with an unreadable expression.

“Okay,” you gasped, turning over. “Now I’m actually sorry.” Coughing while trying to catch your breath you extended a hand. “Do you have water or something? I’m sorry.”

He let out a heavy sigh, not knowing how to behave in this situation as he took out a flask, crouching down and holding it out to you as you continuously mumbled apologies. You gulped down the water inside. “It isn’t poisoned, is it?” You sighed, wiping your mouth as you handed it back. He sat down as he took it, joining you on the slanted roof. 

“You only think to ask that after you’ve downed half the thing?” His voice was filled with amusement. You ignored him.

“I’m sorry, mister…”

“Silco.”

You stared at him as he took out another cigarette, patting his pockets for a lighter. Without a word you took one out, flicking it open and pushing down to activate the flame. You held it in front of his face. “I’m sorry, Silco.”

The cigarette lit up. You studied his profile, mainly the line of his sharp nose as he inhaled deeply.

“It’s fine. Why do you keep apologizing?”

“I got you involved in a chase with enforcers after almost dropping a tile on your head and taking your cigarette.”

“You didn’t have to take the cigarette,” he muttered, miffed. You ignored him, the lighter snapping shut. “And my plans for the night have been ruined…”

“I’m sorry,” you repeated. He looked at you, chuckling. “I’ll make it up to you somehow, if you want.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Such generosity is rare.”

“Not generosity. Justice.”

He laughed again, at your dramatics this time as he rolled the cigarette in between his long fingers. “Right. Justice.”

“So, one favour.”

“That’s a dangerous offer, [name].” A thought struck him, and he furrowed his brow. “Don’t tell me you’re from topside.”

You stared at him for a minute, then scoffed. “Of course I’m not. What makes you think that?”

“Your naivety.” He blew smoke from his lungs, and you watched as it curled over the rooftops. “It’s not a good idea to go around offering favours to strangers.”

“I’m as much of a trencher as you are, Silco,” you scoffed.

At this, he suddenly grabbed your wrist. You stared at him in shock as his lip curled, expression furious. You blinked, unmoving. 

“Zaunite.”

“Wh-what?”

“Use Zaunite. Not the name they gave us.” His grip on your wrist loosened before falling away completely. You nodded.

“Right.”

It fell silent.

“And I’ll never cash in that favour.”

You tilted your head. “Why not?”

“Because, it’s a stupid idea. If anything, I’m doing you a favour.” Another drag. You turned over to look at the sky.

“Thanks… I guess?”

He chuckled again, smoke curling from in between his teeth. Your face felt warm. “You’re strange.”

“So I’ve been told. What exactly were the plans for your night that I so rudely ruined?”

He didn’t say anything.

“I hope you weren’t visiting a cathouse.”

He groaned, and you laughed, snatching the cigarette off of him. He didn’t stop you. “Certainly not. Not for the cats, at least.”

“The cats?”

“The women, [name].”

“Well, what else would you go there for?”

“You’d be surprised.”

You frown. “Right… so no prostitutes.”

“Definitely not. It’s an immoral practice.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “A trencher with morals. I see.”

“Zaunite,” he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, sucking on the cigarette. “Well, I don’t care. They’re just making a living.”

“And what would you consider immoral?”

You blew out a cloud of smoke, and for a moment you considered saying something that he’d agree with, racking your brains for an appropriate answer. He clearly hated topside…

“What those Pilties are doing. Their prejudice against us,” you said proudly. He gave a small laugh.

“Right. Everyone thinks that. Something unique, please.”

You stayed silent. “Well… I do believe capitalising on addiction is quite immoral.”

“Ironic, considering that cigarette you’re holding.”

“There are extremes.” Your voice was low, and it was clear there was a story behind the subject. He didn’t press you, simply watching you put out the cigarette on the tin roof, your appetite for nicotine crushed.

After a quiet moment you spoke. “My sister was pregnant. Some… drug lord got her hooked onto something.” You rested your head down. “It was dangerous. They don’t make it anymore.” He hummed silently. “I lost both her and the baby. And she was all I had left, so…”

“The father?”

You scoffed, and that told him more than he needed to know.

“That… drug… business owner… whatever he was- he didn’t need money. He was filthy rich,” you spat. “A-“ your eyes slid to Silco- “A Zaunite, hoarding money, sucking life out of his own people, and not sharing a single drop. I hate that bastard.”

“What became of him?”

“Business crushed, killed by enforcers.” Your response was curt.

He hummed. “Well, in that case, I certainly won’t go down that path.”

“…I suppose I won’t work in a brothel either.”

“Or own one,” he added. You laughed.

“Or own one.”

You sighed gently, standing up. “Well, I hope whatever business you missed gets resolved. Goodbye, Silco.” You made to climb down to the street.

“Wait-“

You looked up.

“You said you don’t have anyone. If you’re ever… looking for company, go to the Last Drop. Tell the bartender you’re looking for Silco.”

Your eyes enlarged as you stowed the name in your memory. “The Last Drop,” you repeated, then nodded.

“Goodbye, [name].” 

You smiled again, and dropped down into the crowd.

When you looked back up to the sky, to the roof, he was gone.

-

[the-glorious-evolution-fanart]

The text of behind-the-scenes writing has confirmed what I was suspecting was going to happen since watching season 1: the writers absolutely did not understand the Machine Herald.

Let’s skip the terrible implication of their words that disabled people who are missing parts of their body or use prosthetics somehow „lack humanity“; the writers show they were only viewing Viktor through the concept of transformation, no matter what that meant. They were convinced that all Viktor needed to do to become the „Herald“ he’s famous for, was to go through some as gruesome or eerie transformation as possible, stripping himself of emotions in the process.

Let me be clear that this is completely wrong.

Obsessively removing parts of one’s own body in order to upgrade more and more with tech is not a motivation on its own, it is a consequence of some deeper problem. It is a manifestation of something that is hidden in the mental level.

And while at first S1 might have gone the way of a disabled character getting „addicted“ to becoming more and more able-bodied and even transcending abilities of an average human body (which is still kind of an iffy take when framed as strictly negative), the subsequent degradation and complete digression of Viktor’s character arc with the transformation instead being forced on him in Season 2 by Jayce’s misguided attempt to save him, highlights that the writers did indeed hold the aforementioned idea of „eerie transformation“ as the top/core thing that makes Viktor the „Herald“, instead of his motivations for a transformation.

Even season 1’s possible idea was stopped in its tracks because at the end of s1, Viktor is written making a clear choice: hurting others for one’s own benefit is crossing the line, and he resigned to dying. He completed his arc.

This created a problem for season 2, as Viktor was written by s1 as effectively being too moral of a character to do a transformation. Enter the forced/brainwashing effect of magic on Viktor, a band-aid to force the plotline the writers wanted for him. Altering his mind and convincing him that the way to help others is to strip them of all agency and emotions.

No matter how many times the writers say they wanted Viktor to „make a mistake out of a genuine but misguided desire to help“, viewers continuously voice what they see, what the writing actually portrays – a lack of agency of the character. If text is badly written, it fails at conveying what it intended to.

~

Going back to the Machine Herald and what I said about self-augmentation (at least in his case as a fictional character) as just a symptom of a different problem, it’s even explicitly confirmed in Viktor’s accompanying release text:

„People deal with grief in many ways, and Viktor did it by replacing his body parts with robotic limbs.“

I’m honestly shocked that I have to copy-paste these things so often and that professional writers yet again missed the point.

The Machine Herald was a very layered character. The self-augmentation is just the top layer which makes him cool. The deeper levels are what makes him compelling.

He went into self-augmentation using his own technology as a way to propel himself again to the top of his profession, both in terms of cutting-edge achievements and in terms of recognition. He had an impression that nothing short of shocking and utterly bizzare would be able to beat his previous stolen achievement and cement him at the very top of Zaun’s scientific community. This is also supported by how theatrical his behaviour is as the Machine Herald, explains why he has vanity items like a cape and why his hair is still out. He felt betrayed by his own mind for cursing him in naivety, jealousy and depression for who knows how long. He also had issues with self-image, smashing his own face on a framed photo that showed him standing proudly next to Blitzcrank. He tried to distance himself from his previous identity of a vulnerable, very human and very empathetic student who wanted to better society by aiding in the waste reclamation process. Blitzcrank was made for cleaning Zaun – and who is idealist enough in such a self-serving city-state to attempt something like that. This he shares with Ekko, and Ekko is very clearly a hero.

Viktor’s moral ambiguity was not supposed to come from the narrative trying to obfuscate if „removing free will“ is a bad thing – because it is, it will always be an evil thing. This free will point didn’t exist in his release lore, it’s entirely the addition of 2016. Universe bio. I also believe the story gets downgraded and loses its potency if it picks a side and makes Viktor „slide into villainy“ by „completely losing his humanity.“ His ambiguity originally came precisely from how his actions towards his own body make the readers feel. It was entirely up to the readers themselves to decide whether they saw self-augmentation as cool and badass, or as unjustified self-mutilation. It’s a type of interplay between the story and its readers. A character within the story itself, Jayce, made up his mind and held the opinion that it was not a good thing.

Viktor is a „mad scientist“ and although this trope can be very reductive, it also carries some truths. Viktor went mad. His self-augmentation was never going to be justified by sensible, lucid motives, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have reasons. He was in so much pain and felt trapped, and yet despite that he found a way to build himself back up again piece by piece, and undergo such a tremendous transformation entirely relying on personal ingenuity and resilience. The key difference between his inside perspective and our (and other characters’) outer perspective, is that his reasons and pain are of mental nature which makes them way more hidden to us.

His story can develop in the direction „backwards“, him integrating back into society to an extent while maintaining this dislocated perspective of infinite self-upgrades, infinite scientific achievement – because he’s shown it already! He wants and has a need to interact with others! His acolytes, him trying to ally with other researchers, the need for recognition. Another thing awaiting the Machine Herald is reality’s cold shower that one genius still can’t solve systemic problems, and the question what he will do once his technology inevitably gets abused, but this time finally carrying his name.

And I believe all these layers are infinitely more interesting than an unfortunate story of a man who gets turned into a manipulated creature of limitless magical power who doesn’t even have control over his own decisions.

[tragedy-machine]

Reading this felt like being hit in the head with a cricket bat because WHAT

First of all, I have so much trust in the dbda writers and am sure this crazy combo of words would have made an amazing story to watch on the screen, even though it may be hard to grasp the vision from a single tweet, because what in gay mad libs

SECOND OF ALL, EDWIN IN HIS DATING ERA???

I'm sooo here for it, I loved him getting multiple love interests in s1 and really wanted his streak to continue so this is perfectly up my alley

I'm obviously a huge payneland shipper and strongly believe that they would have been endgame, in however many seasons the writers planned to get there, I'm sure they did

I see the potential of them having a bit of a Jim and Pam arc - they're clearly important to each other and are shown to have feelings for each other to various degrees, but due to realizing it on different timelines, other people coming into the picture and bad timing, they keep missing each other until eventually, in season 3/4 the stars allign and finally get together

The payoff would have been sooo satisfying after seasons of obvious pining and tension

Edwin exploring being out for the first time and dating cute boys he meets, while trying to get over Charles a little bit (or at least accepting that he'll always love him but that it doesn't mean he can't love someone else too, especially when he believes he has no chance with Charles), while Charles is figuring out stuff with Crystal

They would have dated but ultimately broken up, bc as much at they like each other, I don't believe they would have been endgame (if you disagree, that's fine ofc, it's merely my what could have been prediction), so imagine Charles realizing something and going to talk to Edwin at the end of the season, only for Edwin to tell him that he's just made it official with the Irish boy (whom he's bonded with over being sacrificed??? holy shit! and the potential for more jealous-and-confused-about-it charles!!)

And we'd have to wait till season 3 for Charles and Edwin to get their shit together in the most beautiful payoff ever