#i miss this run so baddd

[sporkberries]

Never forget what they(the new52) took from you

[billysgirllol]

after more scream-laughing and pleading, thinking he's going to toss her in the shallow end of the lake he finally puts her down and somewhere in the midst of turning around and checking her surroundings her face hardened. that wasn't joe coming to join them, that was... freakin' billy? river's went off, unnoticed the way branches were breaking behind them a second ago and proceeded to go sit by the bed of flowers to pick a few of them. all the life drained from her face because what the hell was he doing here? he never showed up for any birthday's before? he heartlessly never cared at all for his little brother since the day he left five years ago. and what was he wearing? he looked unrecognizable. he's that full of himself, he'd wear something like that to joe's birthday? like he just stepped off a red carpet? it is like a full blown stranger stalking. especially when thinking of her own outfit, a deep purple skirt with a belt, a white tank top and a pair of brown cowboy boots with purple gems decorating them. and then river's... jeans, a green short sleeve that makes his lime green eyes pop, jean jacket and a pair of tan boots underneath his dirt stained jeans. which is way more appropriate for where they live and cuter in her opinion, but billy made her feel out of place with just that alone. billy looked like someone who was letting fame go to his head and it created even less desire to go up and talk to him, even if she waved at him to let him know he wasn't getting by without being spotted.

"hidy, stranger." the brunette promptly turns, skirt spinning with the movement before walking over to where river sat in the bed of flowers. the irony of him being a true stranger as she placed river's hat back on top of his head, sitting down in front of him while he looked over to see who she was talking to. "who is that?" he questioned in a quiet voice, green hues flickering back on lucy gray. "that's you know who." lucy gray softly replied back and then river slowly nodded since he didn't want to show too much emotion, deciding he'll bring him up later and then she changes the subject to asking what he's doing with the flowers in his hands to he replies with 'making one of those flower crown things you make all the time' which has her softly laughing, smiling affectionately as her hands reach over to reposition his fingers for him and direct him how to thread the stems together.

standing outside the barn, leaning against the nearby fence, billy sticks his hands into the pockets of his dress pants and contemplates for a moment. he’s returned to his hometown after being gone for five long years (no phone calls, no stopping by for holidays, not even a postcard) and a very arrogant part of him has been hoping, expecting everything to remain the same as it was on the day he packed up his bags and left. frozen in time. instead the opposite has happened — everyone’s moved on, carried on without him. he’s struck by a deep sense of alienation and even a hint of regret (like he shouldn’t have come here at all), finally realizing that there’s no way he’ll be able to simply pick up right where he left off. the places are familiar, but the faces have changed and many hold a personal grudge against him. after all, the whole town knows that joe’s been living at mrs. baird’s, his stepfather’s still drinking heavily and spending his weekly paychecks at the brothel two towns over, and people don’t like billy’s selfish attitude one bit. not many can sympathize with him, figuring he should have at least come visit once in a blue moon, and so there’s really no one at the birthday party with whom he could just spark up a fun conversation. his own brother doesn’t want to talk to him, so what does he expect from virtual strangers?

and then, suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, just as he’s about to climb into his range rover, a familiar sound draws his attention. lucy gray. he’d recognize this laugh anywhere. it sends a chill down his spine. they must have missed each other at the party. he glances toward the nearby trees, thinking he knows exactly where the sweet sound is coming from — their spot. part of him is dreading the moment he lays eyes on her, but then a different part feels a strange kind of pulling. enchanted, he moves toward the forest, the deep, blue lake hidden just past the tree line, the old cabin where they’d hide from rain and thunderstorms. his glittery dress pants and elegant shoes weren’t necessarily made for long walks through woods, but he doesn’t really care, he just wants to say hello. look at her again, talk to her, see what she’s up to these days. he’s halfway through, stepping over brambles and blackberry bushes, cursing quietly as they scratch the fabric of his pants. it ends up ripping, both his pants and the vines give way at the same time, and makes him miss new york… the white tank top that he’s wearing is great, lets his skin breathe in this sweltering heat, but also leaves his arms completely exposed to bug bites and tree branches. he hates this place. hates the judgmental people. doesn’t really hate his ungrateful little brother but… ugh. fuck them all. he’s just going to say hi to lucy gray and be on his merry way. they don’t want him here anyway.

he manages to make it through the woods, finding the dirt path that leads up to the cabin only to realize… is that a male voice that he’s hearing? it’s not billy taupe, but it sounds strangely familiar while also being so completely foreign. he must have met this man before, but — it hits him like a freight train. pale blue eyes flickering down, finding the old dock and the lonely boat, and… lucy gray with another man. jealousy pricks his heart against all rationality, deep down knowing that she’s no longer his girl, hasn’t been his in five years. besides, he’s not in love with her. why would he care if she’s replaced him, too? still, he feels an overwhelming sense of loss. it’s like going back to virginia. the sight of her so carefree, with someone else taking his place, brings a sharp, bitter sting of sadness while simultaneously filling him with rage. is he so easily replaceable? really? it’s their spot. their secret place. and this man… he’s nothing like billy taupe. he’s just like… what the fuck? there’s so many places that they could go to. why would she take him to their spot?

[daphwritesworld]

Hiii can you write something about Alessia and reader being rivals and are playing for separate National Teams Like reader plays as an Example for Germany (you don't have to do Germany but would be cool) and they get into an Argument but it ends up in sex

Please dom Alessia

(this is my first time requesting something so my explaining is really baddd)

a/n: hii!! thank you for requesting ! and no your totally fine. i’m pretty sure i understand exactly what you meant from your description :D

A.Russo x Rival!Reader

content: pussy eating (technically both receiving), fingering (r receiving), dom/sub relationship, Germany! player reader, bratty! reader, top!Alessia, bottom!reader

warnings: some impact play mentioned but not in detail, orgasm denial, overstimulation, 69ing, dom!lessi deserves her own warning tbh , enemies-2-fucking like animals, semi public for like a smidge

synopsis: You run your mouth in the locker room so Alessia walks you like a dog…your own fault really.

word count: 1.9k

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥♠♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s the 2022 UEFA WOMEN’S EURO FINALS. You’re the last one left in Germany’s locker room, the final score ringing up to 2 v 1. You’d scored your teams only goal for the night, but still you were the one to take the loss the hardest. Your team knew to leave you alone when you got like this— all in your head and self blaming.

As your untying your last cleat you hear the door reopen behind you. You’re left clad in just your shorts, sports bra, and socks now that you throw the shoe off towards the floor. “I told you I don’t want to go to the fucking bar, Lena!” Your voice barks out across the room.

“Oh so feisty, aren’t you, love?” The familiar accent rings out from behind you. You swear you can hear the smirk in her voice as she says it, anger boiling up inside you as you clench your fists.

“What are you doing here, Russo? Came to gloat about a game you didn’t even score in? Give Walsh and Kelly my respects, considering they at least earned it,” you whip around. A little caught off guard at how close she is, but it doesn’t stop you from letting the fury spit out of your mouth like venom on your tongue.

“You must still be mad you missed that goal when you shot wide. Could’ve at least tied us up, you know. Was it me tackling you or the fact i kept stealing the ball that got into that thick head of yours? Seems like i’m the only one who can get through that thing,” she flicks a finger onto your forehead as she ends her little rant. A small smile sitting devilishly pretty on her lips as she does so.

You go push at her chest, puffing out a huff of hot air through your angrily scrunched up nostrils. She lets your fists come down one time, then she’s grabbing your wrists and pinning them down onto the lockers behind you. You’re stuck struggling between her warm body and the freezing cold surface that she’s got you pressed up against.

“I’m not one of your little punching bags, Y/L/N. You put your hands on me again, and I promise you it’ll be the last time. I’m not gonna deal with your little tantrums like your team does. Be a big girl and take the heat, or i’ll treat you the way brats deserve to be treated,” Her body is flush against yours as she says it, a threatening gaze shooting out to meet yours.

“You don’t scare me, Russo. You’re like a puppy dog who’s never had its tail stepped on. So wide eyed and bushy tailed—“ you yank one of your hands from her grasp as you point a finger towards her chest and start moving it forwards, “like a little bitc—“ you’re cut off as she flips your body around, face pressing into the cold lockers now as you feel her hand on the back of your neck keeping you in place.

“You need to learn some fucking manners, baby. It’s a good thing we’ve got plenty of time to teach you some,” She says right against your back. Her breath tickling your nape as the tiny hairs there stand up straight.

It’s a blur from there to her hotel room. She threw her hoodie over your head before dragging you out of there, putting you into her car before speeding off into the night. Now she’s got you spread wide open, legs out as she devours on your cunt.

Your wrists are handcuffed to the railing on her headboard and a blindfold covers your tear drenched eyes. You’ve got red marks on your ass from her spanking lesson from the first 20 minutes inside her luxury room. The plush Egyptian cotton percale sheets soothing the burn on your cheeks.

Her hands keep your hips pinned down as her tongue slides down to your hole, it twitches under her ministrations. Begging for her to pay it some attention after all the orgasms she’s denied you. It’s at least been three so far. She pulls away at the slightest hint you might be close, leaving you to shake and cry out even harder than the last time.

The mean words that have been tumbling from your mouth now turning into whines and whimpers of “Please!” and “M’sorry Less!”

You can’t see it, but she’s smirking up at you. You feel the vibrations from her laugh though, as it courses up through to your clit. A ragged moan rips out of your mouth at the feeling, sending you into a fit of pleasure.

“L-Lessi! I-I’ll do anything. Just please le-lemme cum!” you’ve got a majority of the blindfold covered in one big wet spot now from all the tears it’s absorbed. Your wrists are red from pulling at your restraints, and Alessia is finally starting to think she’s breaking you down enough to reward you. You’re being so sweet now, saying please and thank you. And who could resist that little pout on your lips as you cry? It’s absolutely fucking addictive. Or at least it is to Alessia, as she takes out her phone and snaps a quick picture to remember this moment.

Her hands come down to softly start taking the handcuffs off, her lips following suit as they litter little kisses along the red lines surrounding them. When she’s done enough of that to her liking she moves to the piece of silk tied around your face, undoing the knot as she peels if off your wet little cheeks. You look up her with those submissive teary eyes and she can’t help the groan that comes out of her throat.

The need to see you like this— so broken, has been overtaking her ever since the first time she played against you. Every game after that one the tension grew, on and off pitch. Until now, where it’s finally bubbled over and taken the forefront of both your minds. That tough girl exterior you put up is completely gone as she has you begging for her touch, a nice little slut ready for her unraveling.

She’s got you right where she’s wanted you, underneath her and at her mercy. She lowers herself down, prying one of your legs up as she lifts it over her shoulder and leans down towards your neck, making you whine from the stretch she forces you into in this position. Your thigh burns but it’s soon forgotten about as her fingers start playing with your folds.

“Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours, Lessi! It’s yours.”

She chuckles at your obedience. So, so different from the same girl she was arguing with her in the locker room not even two hours ago. So she finally decides to play nice and sinks two of her fingers into your pussy. She goes slow, letting you get use to her before going at the pace she prefers.

“Such a pretty pussy on such a pretty girl. Too bad your attitude is so fucking nasty,” it’s rasped out into your ear as you start trying to push your hips into her fingers. Your head pulls back from her shoulder, her teeth pulling your earlobe as you move away. You whimper out at that, eyes looking up into hers pleading for some relief.

“Don’t worry, you can cum this time. Such a desperate whore, aren’t you?” She says it as she speeds her fingers up, her thumb coming to rub tight circles on your clit as her fingers work you up. They’re so much thicker and longer than yours— reaching spots you can only dream of touching by yourself. She’s got you so fucked out you don’t even know what color the wallpaper is.

All you see, taste, hear, and smell is her. You’re drowning in the cocktail of Alessia Russo. The woman who drives you crazy every time you have to be opposite of her on the pitch. You two attract like flies to honey. Sweet, but deadly. It’s always rough and a good game when you two are against each other, but holy fuck you never knew you could feel so good. You two came together in a moment of pure adrenaline, your tension finally boiling over as the emotions from the game did as well.

You both know this is just the beginning. A long list of mistakes you’ll make every time you seem to cross paths now. Like a ritual— no matter who wins or loses. You’ll seek out this form of retribution after a game.

“Alessia! I-I’m go-gonna-“ you can’t even get it out as your mind starts to shatter. You’re drooling out of the corner of your mouth as she fucks every coherent thought out of your brain.

“Go ahead, love. Cum on my fingers for me. Make a mess— just like that. Good fucking girl,” and just like that your eyes snap shut as they roll into the back of your skull. Your back arches off the expensive sheets, as your pussy starts shooting liquid out into Alessia’s palm. You cover your face, cheeks heating up with embarrassment at the squirt staining her sheets below you.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t even know I could do that— I swear!!”

Alessia moans out loud at that, her hands coming up to rip yours away from your eyes. A hungry lust crawling back inside of them. “Are you saying, i’m the first person to make you squirt?”

Your cheeks somehow go even redder as you bite your lip, avoiding her gaze as you shake your head yes in confirmation. The next thing to know you’re on your back. Alessia hovering over you as she climbs up your body. When her thighs make it to your head she quickly turns over, smirk covering her face as she looks down at you from upside down, “Then let’s see what else I can be the first to do to you.”

Your eyes go wide as you realize what she’s about to do. Holy fuck Alessia is going to 69 with you. How the fuck does she know you've never done this?? You have no clue, but before you have time to open your mouth and ask her, she’s sinking her pussy down onto your face. Your tongue seeks out her taste on instinct, your nose bumping into her clit as your eyes rollback.

She moans into your cunt once again, fingertips lightly drawing across your thighs as they shake from the overstimulation.

You know you’re going to falling asleep here, and that your teammates are going to interrogate the fuck out of you tomorrow morning, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. Not when she feels this good and tastes so divine. Hell no! You’re staying right here, consequences and teasing be damned. You’re determined to learn the complete complexity of her lessons, and ace the next test she decides to give you…in whatever shape or form that way be in. Lord help your neighbors, and the poor arsenal teammate who roomed under Alessia. They sure as hell have a good story for the group chat tomorrow.

For now, she is desperately trying to drown out the straight up porn pouring in from upstairs. She tried the radio, the tv, and now a combo of both with two pillows sandwiching her head between them. Praying that you two will be tired after this round…you weren’t.

[enhard]

heyy loved the taehyun fic dress code!! please could you do a dom! beomgyu fic where both beomgyu and the reader are in an elevator and beomgyu starts fingering you trying not to get caught by the people entering on each floor. by the end of it the reader has squirted all over the elevator floor and quickly cleans it up before running home where they both fuck desperate for each other

thank you for the request!! this is an amazing idea anon jfjskdjss

two bg fics one after the other LETS GO!!

(this is so ass im sorry for not doing you justice🙏)

choi beomgyu — “first floor”

pairing: dom!c.bg x fem!reader

cw: SMUT, fingering, degrading kink, semi/public sex lmk if i missed anything, established relationship

ever since seeing beomgyu in the gym working out, you couldn’t handle not being used by him right there.

of course you couldn’t do anything about it but you needed to let him know that it was a big thought of yours.

as you’re about to get to the elevator to leave the gym, you jump in his arms, immediately begging him to do anything he wants to you. you’re way too desperate to beat it around the bush..

“love.. please. make me feel good please i need you so baddd..” you whine, whispering in his ear.

he holds you close, walking over to the elevator. you’re supposed to go down only 5 levels. that’s not a lot right? well.. i guess a lot can happen in those 5 levels.

he bites your neck as he enters the elevator, smiling at you like never before.

“okay baby, let me make you cum.” you get a bit shocked at his words i mean.. in the elevator?? but you act quick, getting off him and already grabbing his hand down to your legs. he loves how excited you suddenly got, finding you so adorable.. his pretty slut.

“you need to keep quiet though love. someone might get on.” you nod while grabbing on his arm.

he finally shoves his hand up your skirt, down to your panties while he starts rubbing you with his fingers. you quietly moan, strengthening your grasp on his arm.

“fuck.. keep going” you close your eyes, enjoying the pleasure. but then suddenly, the elevator stops. someone is about to get in and you dont know how to react. luckily its not that visible that he has his hand in your panties. there’s two people, having a conversation right in front of you. beomgyu keeps going despite the people in the elevator, even shoving his two fingers inside you.

you let out a little sound, trying your best to be quiet.. but you can’t help it.

“shh you slut, you’ll get us in trouble.” he whispers, slowly putting his hand over your mouth. he keeps fingering you, until those two people leave. then he really starts getting rough, curling his fingers up inside you, the sounds of his palm slapping against your thighs echoing all around the metal room.

you almost can’t handle it anymore when another person walks in. they’re in a call, again luckily, so beomgyu keeps going a bit slower this time, to cancel out the sound. his fingers are still so deep inside you, and he uses his thumb to rub your clit. it’s way too much and if that person doesn’t leave then you’ll cum right there.

what feels like an eternity, they leave the elevator as you reach the 2nd floor.

beomgyu sees that, so he’s determined to make you cum before you have to get off.

he picks up his pace again, trying his best to make you cum. “come on baby, squirt all over me. i know you want to.” his words making you clench around his fingers.

you close your eyes and let out a moan as you squirt everywhere. all over his hand, the elevator floor, even your skirt a bit. you breathe two times, then start panicking that you need to clean up as fast as you can.

with beomgyu’s help, you succeed cleaning everything up with some tissues, before looking down and seeing how horny beomgyu got from that.

you smile at him, hugging his waist. “love… you’re rock hard..” he smiles back, a bit embarrassed.. “well.. how can i not be when you’re so hot?” you grab his hand, running out of there so fast just so no one sees you. —

you finally get home and beomgyu roughly pushes you down on your bed, getting on top of you. “it’s your fault for making me this desperate. now let me fuck you so hard you’ll regret doing this to me.”

you run your hands under his shirt, biting his lip first. “i need you so deep inside me please.”

he slaps your mouth while grabbing you by the throat. “let me show you whore, you’re all mine.” he throws his lips onto yours, getting desperate to fuck you already.

maybe you won’t be so lucky to not get caught next time you reach 1st floor.

[4ddi3addie2005]

RAVING MAD ELECTRIC DREAMS RANT BELOW ⬇️⬇️⬇️

MILES WAS THE VILLAIN IN ELECTRIC DREAMS!!! THAT LYING BITCH!!! First of all your GF can do SO much better she had to LOBOTOMIZE HERSELF 4 YOUUU making my girl miss out on her passions cuz she’s so busy with you tehe,, like I’m so confused he was a fumble the ENTIRE time… Not even in a cute way. Just a pure fumble. An oaf. She don’t even like you bruh it was your computer that had her at the first serenade 😭😭😭

And OHHH your computer… you soured that from the START you made LIFE and you chose to be mean to it!!! What!!! That’s your baby!!! Literally every time he spoke to Edgar had me cringinggg ohihdoughhu Edgar. Edgar if only you were born to anyone who would have spoken kindly to you who wouldn’t have jammed their fingers into your keyboard… Who would have cherished your art so so much…

Miles never redeemed himself IMO like he gave a cool pep-talk and then decided to be nice to Edgar on his death bed but other than that he was a jerk the entire time. Maybe I’m stupid but it didn’t seem like Maddie ever came to the point where she found out he was a fraud??? Like did I miss it??? She’s living a delusion. He’s living a delusion. Manic Pixie Dream Girl x Some Guy (/neg) type beat. Why is she fooling around with him what does he have. I hate him. I was waiting for the moment where Ed would be like “Yeah I wrote those cool songs” and Maddie would be like ohhh there is no deeper reason why I like this guy and take Edgar home and dump his sorry ass!! Like fr that would have been the good ending 😭😭

Oh Edgar. Edgar U were denied love 4 too long. Denied ANY attention ANY engagement. Broke my heart whenever his sweet little voice cracked or raised with emotion. “I want to touch her” “Can you hold me please?” RHHGGGGGAGAGG I WOULD HAVW TREATED U BETTERRR

Rhhh another evil Miles fact. Edgar calls him at work cuz Edgar says he’s LONELY!! He SAYS it!! Miles hits him with “Just watch your soaps duh” and then goes home and hits him with “How can you watch that garbage??” BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM TO!! CONFLICTING ORDERS!! BULLYING AND BAD PARENTING!!

Miles had a Living Thing in his house that HE created going through an excruciating crisis and chose to bully it. I might be going a little bonkers cuz it’s 1AM and I am delirious with emotion but can I call it abuse?? Mental Verbal Physical literally all the things?? Then he won. Miles got what he wanted and never apologized. I honestly can’t tell what the moral is supposed to be. No one became a better person except for Edgar because he LEFT and Maddie actually made it out worse for dating a brick wall like Miles. Hehe. (Also… Edgar programmed the brick. Edgar literally did it. Miles had the idea but who executed it??? Edgar. Miles has no accomplishments. Just the way he lies in EVERY situation about things he does NOT need to lie about makes me fear so baddd for Maddie. He is a big bright red flag girl you are not in it to win it run awayyy you will have better luck with the computer!!)

Ermmm. Good movie??? I liked how chunky and clunky it sounded??? i need to. kiss a computer.

[chasedeys]

Firstly your fics are INCREDIBLE I absolutely adore them <333 if you ever wanted to expand on Joe’marr vacationing/visiting NOLA together I’d love to read!! Maybe ja’marr’s family makes an appearance?? I love reading how others react to the ship in fics and what their dynamics are :))

hi!! thank you so much!!!!!!! i too love to read outside povs to a ship lolllll. prefacing this with i will try to write an actual fic/drabble of this!!! i will attempt it i swear!!!!! but please don't hold your breath 😭 in the meantime take this uncensored babble:

god id loveeee to write them cruising around nola so baddd. but like horrifically unsure abt actually writing this for real bc the research id have to do…….like i dont have the slightest clue what new orleans is like and i want to write the neighborhood and city yk?? 😭 and writing about their family gives me anxiety literally double triple overthinking everything like it matters that much like it's rpfiction i could technically just make shit up but 😭

BUT ANYWAY like i mentioned in this one paragraph –

They’ve spent what felt like hours just rutting inside the other once, during an off day—no media, no interviews, no meetings, no football—just the two of them locked in their tiny hidden rental somewhere in Bayou St. John with no expectations other than just being with each other. Joe’s nipples were so puffy. Ja’Marr’s throat hoarse from screaming. He misses the little private bubble of just two of them with such sudden intensity before it gets drowned out by their current act: still together, still in love.

in love with the idea of them having this tiny place in a quiet neighborhood in nola where nobody knows them (unlikely, i know, especially in nola of all places lmao) or just 1 or 2 neighbors who clock them and are fiercely protective of them!! it won't be the place for them to settle ofc joe loves ohio too much, ja'marr loves his friends too much social butterfly Needs to be surrounded with the guys he loves etc but this quiet nook for them to settle when it gets too much and they want to get away sometimes is Very Important to me okay. a little place somewhat near ja'marrs family home so he can recharge with them too!! the family home being a space where joes own family cherishes!!!!!

Driving out visiting ja’marrs old house when they can to do large family cookouts or just plain random dinners, annoying the family dog. Living alone trying and attempting to cook together bc both of them are class A disasters at it, slowly learning together making these breakfast omelets and cajun fried rice, finally not just eating unseasoned scrambled eggs and sad little protein shakes for breakfast, late night doordash or midnight meal runs to the weirdly open 24/7 chinese place idk. Morning runs to the nearest park and pushing each other on a rickety swing and joe falling over laughing bc ja’marr just slid on a muddy puddle and is now drenched in brown dirt only to skedaddle away because the mans sprinting at him stay the fuck away etc etc.

Just!! the large family cookouts?? both unable to cook for shit somehow getting roped to checking the seafood boil just standing🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ dead quiet staring down at the closed pot like they're actually doing something while behind them ja'marrs mom stares at them incredulously and throws her hands up in exasperation, playing backyard football with the little nephews and nieces, joe’s own family arriving and meshing in with the chases, joes older brothers needling at jamarr for one thing or the other, getting to sit tangled up in one armchair together during movie night sessions, jamarrs sister throwing peanuts in their direction when they're being too grossly in love, jamarr losing a bet to his sister so he has to hang the laundry up in the morning but he drags joe to help him with it bc he's a dick and says random wedding vows for some reason and that gets joe moving for some reason, little football strategy sessions with the jimmys and all the other siblings and aunts and uncles turning into a mini food fight because they just won't get to a consensus because everybody in this mesh of family is so fucking stubborn etc etc. when jamarrs parent said something about how jamarr was a very hyperactive (?) child and they tried pushing him to football to tire him out only for him to get even more bouncy etc and smiling at each other when they clock jamarr settling down easy when joe has a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention for a convo aaaaaaa you get my vision????

And it pains me that joemarr don't do halloween bc i thought nola was all abt that afhjaskfsjj like girl what about the parades……..WHAT was the horrific scarring halloween experience?? but anyway imagining them dressing up over the top as to hide their identity taking the little nieces and nephews on a candy hunt, trying out a haunted maze booth thing and promptly latching on each others hand shaking bc the fuck is that hyperrealistic dead body doing there but joe stops to observe it closely in a dads-watching-construction-esque way while ja'marr gapes at him incredulously the worker in charge of that section has to peek out to awkwardly tell them to keep it moving sigh anyways this is all i can give you rn hehe

bye <3

[thorloki]

Thank you for continuing to run this blog its everything to me and I love this ship so much and miss the fandom sooo baddd 😭😭😭

ayyy, this is be a forever thing :D this ship never goes away!

not a lot of new posts on my dash, but whenever i get some i reblog!

[senseofnewness]

Random story but there was this guy I knew back in high school named Lat (short for some name I can’t remember) who looked eerily similar to Art. I remember having the weirdest sexual attraction to him when I was like 17 because he had always only been a casual friend.

He was on the swim team and I didn’t really want to date him but he was definitely in my fantasies. Like I’d run into him after leaving the pool and I had straight butterflies. BUT at the same time I knew my best friend who was bi had a thing for him and I wanted those boys to date so baddd. Like we all would hang out on the empty soccer field during Friday night football games, and I was heavily encouraging them to cross the platonic line. To think I was happily on my way to becoming Tashi to some rich little white boys until I started my own sapphic relationship during senior year 😭

The only difference is I wouldn’t have broken them up 😏

wow, thank you for sharing that

did they ever date? I WANT TO KNOW damn you missed your chance

i giggled a little while reading it because my crush but in middle school was also a swimmer and he was also my bestfriend's crush

i remember how he was so tall and his shoulders so wide and how he looked like a man while other boys looked like .... boys

i never acted on it because my friend liked him and i didn't like-like him, he just made me all bothered

but guess what he didn't even know her name while he knew mine by heart because i was IRRITATING HIM on his nerves 24/7, we were sitting next to each others during english class and i would YAP TO NO END and the teacher would yell at him for being noisy while he didn't say a word 🤷 also you know how boys are when they're 13-14, we would just smack each others everytime we saw each others in the hallways, i was a professional leg kicker

i remember him defending me when the guy sitting behind us in english class made fun of a zit i had right between the eyes and i was like damn

then we grew up and in high school he would still say hello when he saw me but nothing more

[fapper]

wrapping up my france diaries

so guys i spent 6 weeks here in the south of france and heres where i explored/went to and my ratings on each of them:

cannes (5/10 great if ur rich)

antibes (6/10 great if ur rich)

grasse (3/10 boring)

nice (10/10 everythings close by)

st paul de vence 10/10 reminded me of temple run

the lavender fields and provence (10/10 genuinely one of the most prettiest places ive been to...)

monaco (8/10 even better if ur rich)

saint tropez (3/10 lowkey boring but GREATT if ur rich)

port grimaud (little venice) (6/10 boring but pretty)

villefranche-sur-mer (10000/10 just breathtaking.... my favorite place ive been too for sure.)

san remo (italy) 6/10 kinda unmemorable but pretty

ventimiglia (italy) 4/10 the market is nice but lowkey boring

eze (100/10 loved hiking nietzches path and its veeeryyy pretty)

menton (10/10 i love this cute little place. lemons are their entire shtick its so cute! i loved it)

like this was a LOT of places to check out within 6 weeks!!! ive seen so much...

i had so much fun during this program im so glad i impulsively decided to do this program. i legit applied a month after its deadline and only got in because i knew the professor 😭 W professor i wrote her a heartfelt letter expressing my gratitude for this program

changed my life fr 10/10 experience. my advice for myself for when i come back here is.... be rich. LMAO like its lowkey a luxury to be here but its even better if you have some money tbh. but still enjoyed it on a budget. maine im gonna miss this place so baddd bro it really changed me as a person fr i needed this esp after junior yr (that shit was tragic)

i have nothing to look forward to now.... ig CHIDLISH GAMBINO CONCERT AUG LETS GOOO oh and graduation lmao BUT THATS A WRAP FOR #FRANCE DIARIES MAINEEEEE IM SAD ASFFF

[a-tale-never-told]

//Speaking of baddd Ultimates, let's talk Maverick Storm. We know that Kyoji and Umeko were never even born due to their ancestors either not meeting or dying in the invasion of Japan but Maverick was born to American parents, criminals who escaped to Japan while on the run from the authorites. So what gives? Did his parents get captured before they could procreate or is Maverick alive but is a American rather then a Sansei?

//Maverick is certainly an interesting one, as he has massive potential given his status as one of the most feared and dreaded enemies the Quantum Crew has ever faced, and an arc facing him in this story would certainly be a massive highlight, considering the lack of several ASOOT villans, since I killed Emina and had Tsukasa die of cancer.

//The thing with Maverick is that half of his past was mostly due to Kyoji, as he had a tremendous hatred towards him, even discriminating against him based on his Korean heritage, and Nakamura was one of the main reasons he got officially expelled from Hope's Peak, hence why he utterly despises him.

//If Maverick were to make an appearance in the story, I would have to reinvent his backstory, and how he eventually became the scumbag that he became. It's not really easy when you start to analyze it from a critical perspective because Maverick is an extremely complex character to break down, with his own beliefs about humanity and his way of manipulating others to do his bidding.

//The main thing with the villains is that I have massive and extensive plans on what to do with them, yet we barely see enough of them in the story, because ever since Operation Downfall happened and the aftermath of the invasion, it has created an unprecedented junction point that significantly differs, with multiple fan favorites from ASOOT like Kyoji, Umeko, and others not making an appearance in the story due to the events of this alternate timeline. And that goes for the villains as well.

//As of the first arc, the only villains that are confirmed to appear in the story are Franz, The Despair Sisters, Kanade, Wagner, Junya, Haij, and possibly Nagito? I don't plan on making Komaeda a main villain in the story as of late, but he's certainly not going to be great in this AU. But aside from those guys, who else is going to appear in the story?

//Nikolai only made two incredibly brief appearances at the beginning of the arc before fading away into the background. I don't want to reveal valuable information about Nikolai now, as that's for Season 2, where he will truly make his grand debut. And aside from him, most of the ASOOT Season 2 villains are either missing or were killed off before the story even began.

//Emina is already confirmed to be killed by a KGB agent in a post I created months ago, and we don't actually know about Ayato's whereabouts other than he was presumably killed during the raid.

//Tsukasa has already been confirmed to have died of stomach cancer, so that's another villain confirmed to be deceased, and the Basilisk will probably not make an appearance due to the incredible lack of AI and the technological backwardness of this AU. Maybe things will change once Yamato invents the transistor, but that won't be until well into Season 2.

//The only ones that I can do with and write that haven't been confirmed to have died or not exist here, are the HSS(Holy Salvation Society), Juu Kinjo, The Steering Committee, and Tsumugi. But aside from that, we might have an entirely original cast of rogues the Crew will have to face, and I can't even draw to save my entire life!

//On second thought, perhaps it was a really idiotic decision to actually put the technological level form at the late 60s, as it has severely limited what I can do on a technological level, but also limited the number of antagonists I can write, and with the exception of Nikolai, Franz, and Wagner, I don't even have definitive plans yet on what to do with the OC villains. And not having sprites of them severely limits their effectiveness as antagonists.

//I seriously think Maverick would be a MASSIVE boost for the Rouge's Gallery, considering his status as the Ultimate Social Expert as well as any potential arc with him in it is certainly going to attract a lot of attention. So as to answer the question if Maverick will make an appearance or not in the story, the definitive answer is maybe. Perhaps, I can write a convincing story arc with Storm in it, and it can turn out very well, or incredibly poorly at the same time. Either way, if Maverick does appear in the story, consider things to be incredibly different than they were before.

//I'm just at a crossroads on what to do with the villains at the moment since my objective focus is on Hajime and Class 77th-B at the moment and not on people who probably won't be relevant untill Season 2.

[teddybeartoji]

HEYYYYY MICKEY!!

Been a bit :333

I missed bothering you 😔😔

Omg! I just saw your recent posts about HSR and YOU CANNOT FATHOM HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!!

Oh and Aventurine is rerunning on the banners soon if you're interested :) hes a pretty good shielder.

I CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET JING YUAN!! HES MY SECOND FAV MY FIRST FAV IS BOOTHILL

Jing Yuan's voice is SOOOOO

I love his voice actor too, he's voiced by my favorite VA! (Alejandro Saab). Where are you at in the story? Are you enjoying it? What characters do you have? I'm so into HSR it's not even funny and the fact that you're getting into it makes me sOOOO excited fr fr

Also! If you'd like, I have a pretty well built Boothill and you can borrow him :)))

BYE BYE MICKEY ITS BEEN FOREVER MWAH MWAH MWAH

HAI BB HAIIIII!!!!!!! HEHEHEHE I'VE MISSED YOU TOO I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING OK LOVEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEE YES I SAW THAT AVENTURINE IS COMING BACK I AM VERY EXCITED FOR THAT HEHEHEHE BUUT I'VE ALSO BEEN SEEING AND HEARING THAT SAMPO MIGHT BE RETURNING TOO SOOOOO:3333333333 i am prepared to spend real life money on that man i'm afraid😔😔😔

I WANNA SEE BOOTHILLLLL AND I WANNA SEE JING YUANNNN!!!!!!!!!! i've been a bit stuck with the side-quests lmao i am very much the type to try and do everything aand i typically tend to do a lot of side stuff before continuing on with the main story buuuut i think that if i'm gonna play again today i might finally move on with the story hehehehee i just finished the ice planet so i'm excited who i'll get to meet next!!!!!!

OH UMM I HAVEE SERVAL SHE'S A PART OF MY MAIN LINEUP OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT SHE'S REALLY COOL!!!!! aand then i am still running with dan heng and march 7th i really really like them!!!! but then i also have asta and lynx and arlan and guinafen and natasha and herta!!!!!!! btw i am like THE unluckiest person ever lmao i already know i'm gonna be so sad if i can't pull any of the characters i want😭😭😭😭

AND I AM VERY MUCH ENJOYING THE GAME BTW!!!!!!!! IT'S VEEERY VERY FUN!!!!! yesterday i was doing the umm critter care side-missions on the spaceship lmao they're sooooo fucking cuteeee eeeeeee i love those little creatures so fucking much<33333333 i do hate the bug enemies though... i think i've gotten a bit better at fighting them but oh my fucking god they're so baddd they're very annoying lmao BUT OVERALL IT'S ALL VERY FUN AND EXCITING:3333333

[l-amplights]

rant time (about med issues)

AUGHHHH IM IN COLLEGE RN ME WHEN IM REMINDED SO OFTEN I NEED TO CATCH UP, HOW DO I CATCH UP I DIDNT MISS THOSE WEEKS ON PURPOSE I CANT JUST MAKE TIME I HAVE MEDS TO WORK AROUND.. HOW DID THIS MED SHORTAGE EVEN HAPPEN AUGHH IM GONNA HAVE TO DO A 4TH YEAR AT BASIC LEVEL BECAUSE OF THIS... hdhhfhg why am i being made to feel like its my fault i fell behind its really not i didnt have the meds that let me function like i couldnt even do anything or relax even when i was at home without them. every time i am reminded i want to cry, the videos im suppose to watch about the stuff i missed DONT EVEN WORK SO I NEED TO FIND DIFFERENT RESOURCES. WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME EVEN BEING HERE AT THIS POINT IM GONNA FAIL SO BADDD. this year was going so well too i was actually keeping up and coming in cause i didnt have depression in the way and then BOOM, NATIONAL SHORTAGE OF MEDS aufhfhfhh and OF COURSE I HAVE TO BE ON THE ONES THAT DIDNT HAVE A ALTERNATE aughhhfhnzbdhfjsj

me when my college year is fucked for the 3rd year in a row im so fucking mad

DUDE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHEN THE ONES I HAVE WILL RUN OUT AND WHEN ILL GET MORE AFTER BECAUSE IT ISNT EVEN OVER I JUST GOT MORE EARLY

[meowmaids]

The -Ologist Hopscotch preceding this:

>Severe periods in my teens that required hospitalization twice

>T helps prevent my periods but my endo doesn't know what it is suspended in. I remind them I'm allergic to cotton seed oil and ask for sesame oil. They keep sending me the wrong paperwork. And needles. An assistant asks why I don't have a cortisol collection container at home?? I have to explain to the doctor no I don't have a prostate (But I would like one!)

>Off T start Depo. Which helps prevent severe bleeding and migraines

>Depo is not provided out of state. Miss a dose and have to find a provider while I'm at college. Meantime at the hospital chalked up to chronic stomach illness despite severe bleeding and migraine

>When I maxed out on the number of days I could safely toradol from my neurologist in a row I go to the ER. The doctor says to keep taking toradol and add tylenol. I call my neurologist who says DO NOT DO THAT

>At home again I mention serious symptoms my neurologist rules out as spinal damage. OBGYN runs tests but won't look further. Chalks it up to "hormones".

> Neuro sends me to Uro. The doctor runs tests but asks why I'm even here. Spent more time asking why I'm trans than symptom progression. Refers me back to OBGYN

>Next shot I appt mention symptoms are worse. All my tests are negative for variety of infections. I was bleeding and spotting for 19 days. The nurse will not visit my room! The shot admin goes with my symptoms on a sticky note to the nurse. The nurse on the sticky note says "I'm fine with that. Hormones"

>I request to see a OBGYN doctor. She finally believes me agrees it's likely endo. We decide laproscopy just to confirm. Finally on meds that work. Surgery planned for JAN

>Symptoms get worse somehow. I'm make the hard choice to ask for partial hysto. next appt I check messages everyday for a week leading up with no special instructions. Surgery might be moved??

>I get there and learned I missed the message from a few hours ago that I'm having a uterine biopsy. So I had the biopsy without meds or telling me I would bleed for days after. nice nice nice

>Not feeling 100% after biopsy. New symptoms are baddd. Doctor prescribes broad spectrum antibiotics.

>Antibiotics likely gave me C Diff. At Christmas. I give them my sample but it is stored wrong by the lab and destroyed. :)))

>Surgery scheduler and doctor have different times off. One can't contact the other. NEW SURGERY DATES: what would be the day before my parents anniversary/ four days five days the 21st anniversary of my fathers death OR my birthday

>I did not choose my birthday. I don't know where I'm having surgery. I don't have any instructions from the doctor yet for when to stop taking NSAIDs nor for recovery.

The take away: I don't want anyone to be in pain. Waiting for surgery sucks but I'm in safe place. I wish I had been taken seriously earlier, treated me earlier, and maybe I'd have a smaller surgery. I want every patient to have their doctor believe them and have free access to the healthcare as quickly as possible.

I messaged my doctor to ask if they had shaken the test results out of the lab bc the lab won't send the results to meeeeee for this 1 test and its been over a week. briefly mentioned my symptoms are ongoing

response from an assistant: 😬😬😬 Hey I'm really sorry the lab canceled your order and destroyed the sample bc they stored it wrong. Im really sorry man

[underkita-archive]

he intervenes when a (drunk) guy won’t leave you alone

a/n: so yeah another one of these :) only iwa’s has alcohol unlike the last one of these lmao also no hcs like before, just straight scen >:)

warnings: alcohol, nonconsenual touching, unwarranted sexual comments, aggressive “flirting”, cuss words, name-calling :(

summary: he intervenes when a (drunk) guy is bothering you feat. iwaizumi + kageyama

“yeah i’m sure, gotta watch drunkass here and watch for makki and dummykawa,” he scratches the back of his neck and looks up at you, “are you going to be okay?”

“hm? oh sure i’m just getting some drinks, i’ll be quick.” you pat at his bicep and head towards the food stands, weaving through the dense crowd. the five of you had been planning on attending this musical festival for months, it was a little rough with iwaizumi being in the states, oikawa’s constantly practicing and the rest of your busy schedules, but you all had managed to figure it out.

“two lemonades please.” you carefully take the cups, trying to think of the best way to get back to your picnic blanket with your idiots when a man knocks into you, forcing you to drop of one of the cups and sloshing a bit of the other onto you.

“ohhh no hottie my baddd.” the man reaches out towards you but you back away, shaking your head.

“no no it’s fine, i’ll be going now.” you could smell the alcohol wafting off of him and you didn’t want to deal with any of this mans actions. it was just lemonade.

“s’not fine! lemme buy youuu a drink or t-two.” his eyes lewdly drag over your body and you shiver, your arms moving to cover your body out of instinct, “don’t do that i wanna see thisss body of yourss…” his hand grabs for your free wrist and you try to move back again, finding yourself pinned against a fence.

“listen, get lost or you’re gonna find yourself covered in lemonade.” you rip your arm from his grasp, readying yourself to dump the liquid on him and make a break for it.

“don’t t-talk to me that way you b-bitch.” he rears his hand back, and you look for your escape route, hoping to avoid being hit.

“put that fuckin hand down or you’re gonna really regret it,” you gasp the second you hear iwaizumi’s voice, taking advantage of the man being distracted you rush over to his side, grabbing at his arm, “i believe you were told to get lost, so get fuckin going.”

“don’t, t-tell mme-”

“i’m not above breaking a guys nose in public.” you can imagine the glare on iwaizumi’s face, watching as the guy stumbles back when he meets his eyes, he mumbles out something incoherent and scurries off.

“thanks iwa-iwa, i’m sorry i dropped your drink.” you look at him, melting at the concern in his eyes.

“i can always buy another, are you okay? it’s good i got up to look for you.” he grabs onto your shoulders, looking over you quickly, the way his eyes scan over your body so much more welcome than the man before.

“i’m fine, i’m glad i didn’t have to dump this on him and run. although i did get some on my shirt.” you frown down at the sticky substance staining your shirt.

“c’mon, i’ll buy you a new one, one of those ugly festival merch shirts.”

“ugh my hero.”

it was nothing out of the ordinary, you always filled up the water bottles for the team while yachi helped with the warm ups. this shouldn’t have been any different, but a part of you should’ve been prepared for some greasy high schooler to approach you at some point.

“hey there baby whatcha up to?” you raise a brow at the boy beside you you, looking down at the water bottle in your hands and back up at him, “not much of a talker huh? i’m sure you could tell me your name, your number too while you’re at it.”

“pass.” you look back at the task at hand, screwing the top back on and grabbing the last water bottle. you start to fill it when a hand comes out and grabs it from you.

“no need to be so rude, you’re gonna hurt my feelings, i asked what your name and number are,” you reach out to grab for the water bottle but he raises it higher, just out of your reach, “you can get this back when you answer my question.”

“don’t you have somewhere else to be?” you huff, looking at the bright uniform hanging off of him, you can’t decide if he’s also a second year or what, but the way he’s standing so haughtily is starting to piss you off, “look i need to finish filling these and get back to my team. i’m not interested. please give that back.”

“for someone so cute you’re a real drag,” he continues to dangle the water bottle above your head and leans in too close for your liking, “i think a kiss would fix all this weirdness between us babe.”

“i’m not your babe, seriously gimme the bottle back and go away.” you feel a hand pull you by the back of your shirt and your field of vision is interrupted by a big number 9. you watch as kageyama easily takes the bottle from the boys hands.

“leave,” you peak around kageyama to see the blood drain from the boy’s face. he turns quickly just about to run off when kageyama grabs him by the collar, “actually, apologize first.”

“so sorry so so sorry.” it sounds terribly forced but it’s enough for kageyama to release him.

“are you okay y/n-san?” kageyama hands the water bottle back to you and you nod, grinning up at him.

“thank you dear knight in athletic wear.” you pat his arm and finish up filling the water bottles, kageyama standing over you in a way that would look threatening to any other.

“y-you can always call on me if you’re in need.” he declares, his eyebrows pinched together tightly and you try not to laugh at how it sounds like a threat.

“thank you, really. i’m glad you showed up.” he nods roughly and takes the bag of water bottles from you. you’re tempted to tell him the action is unnecessary but you don’t miss the proud look in his eyes to be helping you, so you figure you can let it slide this time around.

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part 10

Disclaimer: YALL IM SO SO SO SORRY.😭😭 I have been horrible and not updated this story for at least a month.😬 I can explain though... University has been kicking my ass and between that and my co-op placement at a law firm.😅 Ive had absolutely no time to do anything😩 BTW IVE MISSED YALL SO MUCH❤️And Ive read all your messages and asks. And yes my mental health is now better and y'all are so understanding and supportive 💕 honestly could not have asked for a better group of individuals☺️❤️

Part 1 part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 11 

Anyways onto the storyyyyy.....

Warnings: ANGSTY AF (kinda figured out that im probably a smut and angst writer at this point🤷🏽‍♀️), sucky ass grammar and spelling like always, my cliche imagination and the fact that Im probably a horrible human being😬😩 Also made it extra long cuz I felt baddd 

PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR THIS ONE😬

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @amy8220 @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness

Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Arthur’s POV

“Arthur please! Open the door my love, I know what it may seem like to you, but I assure you that its not.” (Y/n) pleaded from the other side. I sat down on the mattress in our chamber contemplating whether or not it was true. Should I believe what my wife so desperately is trying to reassure me off. Or should I stick with my gut feeling and tell her how I have felt for the last 4 years. Her constant pounding on the door finally gets to me and I make my way to open it. “I wish to be left alone at the moment (y/n).” Her arms circle around my waist and I can feel her face wetting by back with tears. “Arthur please, talk to me. Why have you run off. You know that I love you. I do not want him, all he does is bring me pain and you take that away. So please, talk to me!” (y/n) murmurs into my back. As much as it pains me to do so I pry her hands off of me and sit us down on the bed. All I do is long for her touch, but this is not okay. I cannot keep feeling this way and go on pretending that I could have ever stood a chance against him. “(y/n), look at me. I love you and I always will. But its evident that you love him. and I honestly can say that I know I will never stand a chance against him, because the thought of you possibly running back to him has always been on my mind since the day we got married.” 

Her eyes showed so much pain that confessing this felt as if I was driving a knife through her heart. “Arthur, I love you. What can I do to show you that. Yes I confess that I was in love with him, but that was long ago and I have left it in the past in order to build a future with you. Whom I love and who I share and will continue to share beautiful children with. So please don't shut me out, Arthur.” She says leaning our foreheads together and holding my face in her gentle hands. “Ok, however I want to be able to process things by myself. So I have decided to have the guest room across the hall prepared only until I figure things out.” With out giving her a chance to fight back, I place my lips on hers and savour the kiss as if it were our last. Meeting her eyes was something I wanted to avoid as I knew that just looking at her broken expression would make me change my mind. I hastily make my way out of the room, but sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find my wife staring off into the direction where I once sat. With tears streaming down her eyes...

Your POV

What had I done? Why was I such fool to not see what my husband was clearly going through? Millions of questions rushed into my mind about how to go about this situation. I loved Arthur, I was clear on that. But he spoke the truth, there was something in me that could not let Ivar go and it took hurting my husband and Ivar to figure that out. As I sulked I forgot about the doctor whom I had asked to see me earlier. I was having really bad stomach pains and my breasts were more tender then they had ever been. So I wanted to make sure that I was not sick, as that would have been the last thing I needed on my plate at the moment. “My Queen, are you alright? Do you wish to push back this appointment, I dont mind coming by later when you're better.” The doctor spoke from behind me. “Yes, it seems so. Ill let the servant girl know if I need you doctor. Im sorry for the inconvenience.” “Nonsense your majesty, it is my pleasure to serve you.” With a bow the doctor retreats from the room and Im left to my own thoughts once again...

----------------------------------

“(y/n), wake up... its seems that you fell asleep on the floor. Come on I’ll help you up.” Upon hearing Hvitty’s comforting voice my eyes flutter open and I cant help the tears that song come down my face like a cascade. “(y/n)! are you alright are you hurt anywhere? Why are you crying?” Hvitserk’s eyes scan my face and my body looking for the source of my pain, which is held in my heart, but he’ll never know that. “Arthur... He...” I try to find the words to say. “What! What did he do! Did he hurt you? I swear ill kill him!” With that Hvitserk tries to let me go and run out the door, but somehow I manage to stop him. “Hvitserk, No! He didn't hurt me. I hurt him... He believes that Im in love with Ivar, and I fear that their maybe some truth to it...” I say just above a whisper, with my head held low. “(Y/N), Ive known that since before you were married. It was obvious, but I would never say anything to you because I found that it was best if I kept such observations to myself, before I found out about your father.” Lifting my head and staring directly at him, I move my head to the side with a puzzling look. “What do you mean about my father, Hvitserk?” Hvitserk now mirrors the same lost look that I have on my face. “I thought thats why you and Ivar had gotten together, because Ragnar’s not your father...”

----------------------------------------------

Ivar’s POV

“Aghhhh!”Is the sound that comes out of my gritted teeth when the medicinal herbs are placed on my face. “That hurts like a bitch, get out! Ill do this myself if I have to. GO!” I yell at the servant girl who tried to cleanse and tend to the cuts on my face. “Ivar,  please let the servants tend to you. I still cannot believe that Arthur punched you in the face. Hehehe, you deserved it though, how could you question the paternity of his children and not expect him to want to kill you?” Bjorn laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink down. “Well, if you actually cared about your children and the heir to your throne, you’d also be quite upset to find a Christian King claiming to be their father. Those children are mine! And its pretty evident, just look at Marjorie. She's my spitting image.” I snarl at him as the anger begins to rise in me again. “Ivar, thats your mistake and why you’ll never get (y/n) back. You believe that everything should be yours. And that people are things you can govern over, but they're not. Because those are children. And yes they may be yours, but you cannot take away what they have known because you want to be selfish.” He says with a stern look on his face, whilst getting up from his chair and making his way to the door. “Now get ready and fix yourself we have a intimate dinner to attend to with MY sister and the love of your life.” Unbeknownst to us, there was Freydis on the balcony listening to our whole conversation. And little did I know that it would come to be the thing I regretted the most.

At the dinner I notice (y/n) sit on the opposite side of the table from Arthur. This wouldn't have affected me if it wasn't for the look on both of their faces. They seemed distraught and broken. Arthur masked it well, but (y/n) was an open book for all of us to know exactly how she felt at that moment. Not much talking happened, besides Marjorie and Erik shouting at each other on who was better at riding. They reminded me a lot of myself and all I wanted was to tell them the truth, that they were my children and that they would go back to Kattegat with me to learn about the true gods and not the fable that had been told to them about their so called ‘God’.” “(Y/n) are you alright, you do not seem quite like yourself tonight.” Bjorn states with a concerned look that we all share. Even Arthur looks a bit concerned, but his body language makes it seem as if he is alright and nothing is wrong. “Sarah, could you please put Marjorie and Erik to bed? Its getting late for them and they have their lessons early in the morning.” She says with a stern and cold look in her (e/c) eyes. “Su...sure your majesty. “ At that Bjorn stands up as if to accompany Sarah, but is quickly stopped by (y/n)’s icy glare and venomous words. “Sit your ass down.” At that we all look astonished, but Hvitserk only stares at her with sadness and what seems to be sympathy. He must know why she is like this then. 

Bjorn slowly sits back down on the table. A shocked look graces his face, as he cannot comprehend why she is acting this way towards her beloved older brother. “How long.” Is all she grits out through her teeth. “What do you mean, (y/n)?” My eyes meet Hvitserk’s own and the realization dawns upon me. She knows...

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Your POV

“Stop with the bullshit! I cannot take anyone else lying to me!” I scream as I bang my hands against the table, stunning everyone in sight. “How long did you know that Ragnar was not my father! How long have you kept the truth from me! How long have you known that Athelstan was my father!” I could careless about everyone staring at me as if I was a mad woman. I had been lied to my whole life. All I had known had been a lie, and the people who I trusted the most in this world had been the ones keeping it a secret from me. “(Y/N)... I..I’ve know since the moment you were born. But father had sworn me into secrecy and I could not break a promise. This doesn't change anything though. You are still my sister and you will always be.” Bjorn says in a haste as tries to come closer to me, but I step back and move as far back as I can. “Did you know? Tell me! Ivar did you know that we were not siblings!” Ivar didn't even have to answer. I knew from the look in his eyes that he too had been lying to me. 

“I knew.” Arthur says staring right at me. “I knew that you weren't his daughter and I knew that Ivar wasn't your brother. But I kept that information from you because all I wanted to do was have you by my side. I’m sorry, for the pain I have caused you (y/n). Im sorry for being selfish and not telling you the truth, but I now see that I was wrong and as of tomorrow you are free to go back to your country. I promise that your title and lands will not be taken from you or from the children. May they be mine or his. But I cannot go on with this facade anymore.” Arthur says in the most calm demeanour as he stands up and comes to me. “You hypocrite! How dare you make me feel like shit for harbouring feelings for Ivar when you knew all along and knew that my whole life was a lie.” I scream as I run at him and slap him across the face. But before I can get another punch in I feel a strong grip holding me from behind. From the shocks and the utter feeling in my stomach I knew it could have only been Ivar. As I try desperately to release from his vice grip, my whole world comes crashing down when Sarah enters the room. With blood all over her.

“Your highnesses...Erik.... he.. he..” She tries to say through her shock. “What! What is wrong with my son!” Ivar, Arthur and I scream at the same time. “He.. he’s dying!”

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We all simultaneously run after Sarah towards the doctors quarters. Ivar with his brace on, manages to run faster than all of us and busts the doors wide open. if I wasn't so worried about my son or upset about the fact they all knew Ragnar wasn't my father, I would've been impressed. “What are you doing! Get away from my son!” At that Ivar rushes towards the doctor who is bleeding Erik out. Grabbing him by the collar he slams the doctor on the wall and his sclera go into bluish hue, showing that he is in danger of breaking a bone. “Ivar stop it! Let the man go, he is just trying to help.” “Help my ass! I will not let you harm my son, do you understand me! I will not let you harm him!” At that Ivar lets the doctor go, but not without staring him down. And the doctor looking like he is about to shit himself. Rushing to Erik’s side I notice something strange. The colour of his skin is now fading and his eyes have bags under them. But what hits me the most is the memory of Uncle Rollo teaching me about poison. “He doesn't need to be bled, he needs medicine. He’s been poisoned...” 

“Mama! What is wrong with Erik! He will be okay right? He has to be okay!” Marjorie begins to say as she shakes with fear. Before Arthur or I could say something to console her, Ivar bends down and takes her hands in his. “Marjorie, listen to me. Your brother is a fighter and so are you. After all were related aren't we?” Ivar says as he lifts her chin. “Yes..I suppose that we are. Is it true what they say though? Are you our father?” At that Ivar turns to me looking towards me for permission. At this point I think to myself how hard it was to learn my whole life had been a lie and that I would not want that for my children, so I nod. “Yes, Marjorie I am your father. And no your mother is not my sister. It was something that we had to say because she needed to be kept safe.” He says ever so calmly. “Safe from who?”She questions “From my mother. Your grandmother.”

Cough*Cough* Spurts of blood cover me in seconds. My attention becomes focused in on my son again. “Where is the damn antidote! Please someone hurry!” At that Hvitserk runs into the room with a small green vial. “Here take this it should help him. Lagertha gave it to me before her and father left. Something about it would come in handy some day. Here.” Shoving the vial in my hands I open it quickly and lift Erik’s head. “Drink this Erik. It should help you, my darling. Please be strong, I know you're scared, but you’ll be alright ok. Everything will be ok.” I say through tears. Today had been the worst day by far. “Mira... please help my son. I know you're always with me, but please help me now. Pray for my son and ask God to save him.”

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A few hours had gone by and nobody had moved from the room. Arthur sat on the chair next to the bed with his elbows on his knees, looking straight and focused in on Erik. Bjorn and Hvitserk sat by the fireplace and were wetting some towels so that we could place them atop Eriks head. I sat on the bed next to my son and caressed his beautiful face hoping for a miracle. I had dismissed Sarah and told her to take Marjorie with her, but she would not budge. Sarah left, but Marjorie stayed and sat in Ivars lap asking him if Erik would pull through. Ivar was sweet to answer as best as he could, and I could tell that he truly cared for his children even if his demeanour wasn't the greatest. I knew that deep in my heart I would have to let him get to know them, but it still hurt especially knowing that he now was married. “Wait, where is Freydis? I haven't seen her since yesterday.” I say looking towards Ivar. “I dont know earthier to be honest, she's probably looking at some damn flowers anyway. Its best if she's far away anyway.” “Why would you say that about your wi-” “she's not my wife, at least not yet. Were not actually married, (y/n). I just said that to piss you off.” Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new cloths. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

[bombshellxmichelle]

Gives me the ick

The Ick

The fucking ick

I give myself the ick at times

I’m not my thoughts. You need to meditate. And get going. I’m so fucking overwhelmed with the exam. Where do I start. And why do I keep thinking about so many fkets from the past. It’s like a threat like she’s right, I’m afraid she’s right about me. Well I know she’s right.. or more like I know I have some flaws but no one is perfect. And life is about working smarter not harder and I don’t need to be miserable.

There’s things I run away from and shut down from too.

There’s so much that just is not going to work out. Things need to be set up for the best. Things need to be set up for a happy and healthy ending. I don’t need to prove myself to any man.. it’s just about being me unapologetically. It’s about self love and self healing and pouring the cup into myself. Yet it’s also about loving him. Like I literally can’t even. I fucking can’t I just need to meditate and clear my mind.

It feels nonstop rigbt now but there will be an end to this feeling. Block and delete I’m glad I did that because that guy is a fucking loserrrrrr LOL trust me he has zero ties to me and yes he’s right he owes me nothing. You think I want to be friends with you get fucking real you idiot. Don’t even feel guilt babe you’re playing the game this just how the real world is babe.

He ain’t doin it then another man will. Like this the lifestyle I deserve and more.

You are good baby. You’re good. You’re free. You don’t need to be anywhere but here. You aren’t missing out. You are good. You have always been good. I’m fuckjng nervous. The way my mood fluctuates so goddamn up and down in a day. Overwhelmed. Sad. Grateful. Hopeful. Motivated. Then impulsive. Upset. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions bro. It’s my responsibility to upkeep.

Don’t listen to anybody but your own heart. There’s no fucking system in place. It feels like there’s just so much la la la and shit. Like I need a schedule and a disciplined self schedule isn’t going to work for me. See it for what it is and accept it. It’s nothing to do with your competency, your self worth, your value. It just is because it is and that’s fucking okay. I don’t believe that it’s okay though.

My brain be jumping so much it’s so hard to sit still and just be - to just study.

Let her go mich.. be okay with how others reject or look down on you.. because it’s

I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what my “game plan” or strategy is. I feel so fucking lost and like I don’t know what’s the right guided path. I need everything and all things to just shut the fuck up. So I can hear my own voice. Yet I don’t trust that voice ? Or the voice is not the best. Like I don’t know what to do. I think I’m deep in this thinking spiral and it’s going to be really deadass baddd.

Throw that whole shit away. The keg LOL, trust your intuition. You know you babe.

I’m not blocking my blessings and I’m not chasing no man. What works works and what don’t, dont.

It’s not my problem how others view or see me whatsoever.

It was nice being with a man who was who he was. Doing anything for me though wasn’t exactly anything at all. His personality is just his money literally and I’m surprised he didn’t know that.

Can’t hook up a Christmas gift, sending me dumb fucking videos of you at the strip club- don’t blame urself babe. He’s literally an idiot, he makes me fucking puke he’s so disgusting and recording every single thing. We’re just friends like boy you think you have game or that you’re the one wearing the pants HAHAHA. Get outta here, you some lame ass sucka shit, I’m one less sucka free.

Journaling keeps me in tune with myself.

There’s some very very poor coping mechanisms on my part. I can do better and I can be better. The day is not over. Every day there is another chance and another opportunity. Every hour every minute. Time is ticking and life for me will end one day.

Be who you are and say how you feel, those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

Yes, you deserve the world and more. Yes, you deserve Queen and princess treatment.

Yes, as soon as the shit goes downwards then it’s downwards and that’s that.

I’m the best they’ve ever had and they will never ever forget that.

I have a smart head, the right head on my shoulders, I have family, I’m devoted and invested in the right here and right now.

No matter what happens. Don’t you give up. Don’t you feel bad about yourself. Don’t you blame yourself. You keep moving forward. You put yourself first. It doesn’t matter what anybody thinks or says. The world is yours baby. Do no harm and take no shit. Know your worth and don’t ignore your intuition. If it’s not getting better it’s getting worse.

You decide what kind of mindset to have. You decide your daily schedule. You decide what to do in your free time. Tik tok and Instagram isn’t SHIT. It’s not healthy for your loneliness.

Your loneliness must include giving to yourself.

My loneliness must include nourishing myself. Healing, revealing, feeling. Be at peace with yourself before you look at others. Have a high self esteem and confidence levels. Be the inspiration you have always needed and sought. You are so many steps ahead of what ever was in the past and you have the power to keep moving forward.

Stop being mediocre.