#i miss them already. goodbye sweet crabs goodbye my love

[egberts]

we are finally home after a busy day. if you don't know already, callie passed away this morning. she fought so hard for the last month and held on for long enough that everyone who knows her and loves her got to see her and say goodbye while she was still in good spirits. unfortunately in the days leading up to this morning she suddenly rapidly declined again and we knew it was time. i won't go into the sad details but despite her condition she continued to love and be loved. she fell asleep in my arms leading up to her final moments, and we got to give her so many hugs and kisses. it didn't take long for the medicine to take her when it was finally time, she was already so weak. her personality has always been so quirky, it was hard to see her decline but she was still so full of love to the very end.

immediately after she passed alana and i went to a boardwalk nature trail and just walked for a while before going for ice cream (the cashier was incredibly nice to us, we must have seemed in need of cheering up because this was a theme of the day)

after ice cream we came home and cleaned up callie's things. vacuumed up some of the cat hair and packed away her furniture and the things we wanted to keep, we set aside some things for her memorial space, and we took everything else to the animal shelter.

just packing up her things was already somewhat cathartic but while at the shelter we decided to visit with the kitties and this was actually a very good idea. it was so bizarrely comforting, seeing and holding the small lovable kittens and realizing in a way that one day we will be able to get a cat as loving as callie was and it will be easy to fall in love with it too.

after the animal shelter, we had to swing by our house again to get the bulk pack of wet food that was delivered, very cruel irony there. it was a $50 box so i reached out for a refund and was given one pretty much immediately and told not to return the food, which gives us a reason to go back to the shelter on monday and donate this food too. (and visit more kitties of course)

we were probably keeping ourselves busy subconsciously, but it was good for us i think, because next we went to a state park and just enjoyed some time by the ocean. we saw so many crabs and even a heron came right up to us!

and you'd think that's the end of the day's adventure but no, after that we went to get pizza for dinner (because cooking is just not an option right now iykyk) and we saw a deer!! a freaking random deer after already seeing a random heron, it was just amazing.

finally we went to target to grab some necessary groceries as some kind of weird semblance that even though callie is gone life has to go on.

i am not kidding when i say every single other human we had to interact with today was nothing but kind to us. all friendly smiles. we didn't tell any of them what happened and yet every single one of them from the ice cream shop girl to the lady at the state park and even the target self checkout person. it was genuinely a beautiful day despite everything. it almost feels like callie's loving energy was just with us throughout the day.

i'm going to miss her so much, and knowing she's gone forever is very hard but i don't think i could've asked for a better experience with it. now it's time to finish up the last bit of cleaning and take a much needed shower.

after her urn and ashes arrive i'll post one final callie update, but as of now this is it. she is gone, resting in peace on the other side of the rainbow bridge. our sweet angel baby 💗

the cutest gradient trio ever btw

[naraven]

welcome to ven's, what can i get for you?

wrote sickening flirting between ven and aether THROWS UP theyre so cute yea vens in love yadda yadda WHATEVER aether has NO RIGHT to be serving so much

wc // 1k

tw // rude customers, teeth rotting fluff

This next commission, it seemed, would be somewhat of a breather.

Away from hunting giant crabs, lying criminals, and pickpockets. For now, Ven’s only worry was to fill in for a very tired restaurant worker.

When they get to the restaurant’s address, they find a note on the door.

“Hello, kind commissioner. Thank you very much for taking this up for me. I’ve been working at this place for a year now and it was getting pretty exhausting. The last straw was recently having cold water poured on me by a rather rude customer, and I decided that I needed a day off. None of my coworkers were able to fill in, so I appreciate you taking the time off to do this for me.

Just make sure to listen to the manager, remember orders, and handle conflicts as diplomatically as you possibly can.

Much thanks.”

Ven reads over the note twice to make sure that they knew everything that could potentially happen. Confirming the work of the commission, they open the door as the bell chimes to alert those already working inside.

“Hello, I’m here to substitute one of your workers.”

And so, the day began.

Their shift started at 1:30 pm, luckily just after the lunch hour when dozens upon dozens of people came in for a hearty meal before the weekend.

“Excuse me, you there! My order is completely messed up!”

Ven turns around as a hand grips onto their apron, tightly. They almost flew onto their back had they not stabilized themselves in time.

“Please don’t grab me. Asking for my attention is enough.”

“Ugh, please fix that attitude of yours, along with your food. Look at it!”

The gloved hand it quick to let go and point at a perfectly normal Mushroom Soup. Ven has to squint carefully to see what was wrong.

“You’re going to have to let me know what’s wrong, Miss.”

“Are you blind? And stupid? This is not what I ordered!”

Ven blinks, slowly taking the bowl from the woman.

“Then, let me get what you ordered.”

“Give that back! That’s not what I meant!”

The bowl is snatched from the hand, and Ven has to try their best to maintain their composure.

“Miss, I’m afraid- “

“Ugh! The lot of you!”

She huffs, red in the face, but for what reason Ven is unable to tell.

“M-Miss? What are you trying to do, exactly?”

She keeps to herself, turning her head with a “hmph!”

Unable to decipher her meaning, Ven tries to walk away. Just as they start to go back to their previous order, they are once more pulled back by some unknown force.

“You! What is your name?”

It was the gloved hand that had grabbed them moments earlier. Ven is ready to slap the woman’s hand away but instead opts to brush her hand away.

“I believe I told you to not grab at me, Miss. I might have fallen on you on accident.”

“T-That’s not what I said! Your name?”

“Ven. Goodbye, Miss.”

And so they continue working. They glance back to see if the woman was still up to something, but instead see her eating her meal with a flushed face.

Seriously, what was going on?

That lady was soon forgotten by Ven, too busy serving other more polite customers with their food. After repeating the motions repeatedly, the day soon came to a close and the last customers giggling as they walked.

“Thanks for all the help, Ven! Really sent it home today.”

They shake their head. “It was nothing. I’m sure doing this every day is harder than doing it just once.”

“Oh, you flatterer. Plus, you got this sweet bonus from that blushy blushy lady from earlier.”

Ven furrows their brow. “Blushy… blushy?”

“Yeah! The lady with the fancy gloves. She left a nice tip for you. Something about a nice face? Seems like you got yourself an admirer!”

Ugh. What on earth.

“Alright, go home! I’ll close for tonight. Thanks for the help again!”

They bid the manager goodbye, but it wasn’t long until they ran into a familiar face that they’ve been seeing a lot lately.

“You two again? Goodness.”

“Hey! That sounded pretty rude, y’know!?”

Aether tries to get Paimon to calm down as she stomps the air. Ven hides a small smile behind their fist.

“Apologies. I was simply being sarcastic. I hope the two of you have been good?”

“We have. Fontaine is really pretty, as you know.”

“Whatever do you mean? I find this place rather dull.”

Paimons gasps. “Whaaat? But it’s so interesting here!”

“Maybe to you, dear Paimon. Being an adventurer is much more fun that a simple tourist, I would imagine.”

“W-Woah… You really think that?”

Ven laughs at Paimon’s over-the-top expressions. Always so dramatic in her words and actions.

“No, of course not. I’m having fun in my own way, you know.”

“That’s good to hear.” Aether sighs. “I was afraid I was going to have to make you enjoy your stay here in Fontaine.”

“Make me? I’m kind of curious. Alright then, I take it back. My stay here has been miserable. I’ll let you lead the way to having fun in this grand city.”

“Ugh, wait! Paimon is getting confused by Ven’s words.”

Ven stifles a giggle, sparing a glance at Aether. He seems to fake an annoyed glare for messing with his traveling companion.

“What’s there to be confused about? I’m having the saddest time of my life as a tourist in a foreign country. The great views, amazing food, all of it upsets me.”

“Argh!”

Aether lightly hits Ven on the arm as they start laughing at Paimon again.

“You don’t have to say that, Ven. I’d be happy to travel around this new region with you.”

Ven stares into Aether’s eyes, golden hues freezing them in place. They always wondered why the outlander was allowed to have such a pretty color to have in their eyes. It felt as if Celestia had placed the world’s goodness into them.

Ah, they haven’t said anything in a while.

“If you’re offering, of course I wouldn’t mind.”

“Great! Then how about some time tomorrow? Assuming you aren’t doing more of those weird commissions.”

Ven huffs. “They aren’t weird. I just do them because I have nothing else to do.”

“Mhm. Sure. Then tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow sounds amazing.”

“Great! See you then.”

Tiny hands wave at them. “Bye, Ven! See you later!”

“Goodbye, Paimon. Goodbye… Aether.”

[mjulmjul]

🎃🦀 time for halloween crab 🦀🎃

today i summoned 250 crabs! i became friends with 5 🎃 of them. one fell in love with me 🖤

group picture!!!

🦀🖤 🦀🎃 🦀🎃 🦀🎃 🦀🎃 🦀🎃 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀 🦀

[kassies-take]

The Whipped and The Jealous

Love your stories! They're cute! May I please request Lena x reader where Reader looks cool but have a massive crush on Lena and hides her crush really well but whenever Lena does anything she go soft. Kara finds it cute and points it out to reader. Unknown to both of them, Lena have a huge crush on Reader too and gets jealous every time she see Reader and Kara talks because she thinks Kara likes reader too but they're just friends. Thank you so much!! Happy new year!!

A/n: I think this would be interesting to write. Thanks for requesting this

Warning: Jealous Luthor, Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest

Lena Luthor x Reader, Kara Danvers x Reader 

Word Count: 1561

The wind that blew around you began to slow down as you turned into the underground garage to Kara’s apartment complex. You recognized three silhouettes walking towards the elevator and immediately honked the horn past them. 

You rolled to stop at the designated parking, then killed the engine and pulled off your helmet. Another motorcyclist rolled to a stop next to you. 

“A little slow Danvers.” You teased as Alex rolled her eyes. 

“You literally drove through a stop light.”

“It was a yellow light, not red.” 

You both dismounted and turned toward the trio standing near your motorcycles. 

“Catco North Trio!” You hugged Kelly, followed by Nia and Kara. 

“You guys are just in time!” Nia smiled. “Miss Danvers over here was about to steal the potstickers.” 

“I bought a whole order for myself.” Kara frowned. 

“Let’s get to the apartment before the food cools off,” Kelly reminded as Kara led the way. 

The food was set on top of the aluminum Chafing Dish Buffet. Chow Mein, tri-tips, pork belly, potstickers, egg rolls and of course wine. There were a couple of snacks centered on Kara’s coffee table. Scrabble, Uno, You’ve Got Crabs and the classic Pictonary were stacked under the coffee table. 

J’onn, Brainy and Lena arrived shortly after. You were stealing some tri-tips when she walked through the door. She was beautiful, honestly she looked beautiful in anything.

“You’re staring,” Kara whispered next to you.

“I can’t help it,” you glared at her. “It’s like you with potstickers. Every time there are potstickers you just gravitate towards them.”

“Aw and you gravitate towards Lena.” Kara pulled you into a side hug. “Just ask her out and if you get rejected continue to do sweet things for her.”

“Like William with you?”

“Ahh uhh, okay maybe don’t do that.”

“I can barely sting together a sentence whenever I’m around her, let alone confessing.”

“What are you talking about? You and Lena seem to have long conversations.”

“Dude I have a list of 10 questions I ask her. Then I just ask her to elaborate more.”

“Hey! Get a plate of food or stop eating! Get your butts over here!” Alex frowned at the two of you.

Lena glared holes into Kara’s head, that is if she had heat vision. She sat the furthest away and no one saw her gripping the carpet to the point it would rip.

You both grabbed a plate and a little bit of everything. You looked over at Lena once again. She didn’t have food or a drink. You grabbed a smaller plate, placed everything on it and grabbed a wine glass from Kara’s cabinet.

“I thought you didn’t drink?”

“I don’t.” You said pouring the wine for Lena.

You walked over to the living room balancing the two plates on your right arm and the glass in your left hand. You handed the glass to Lena as she smiled at you, you also gave her the small plate.

“Anyone still want anything while I’m up?”

A number of ‘no thank you’ echoed around the room. You sat and began to eat.

“So I found marbles the other day. And they’re perfect for choosing teams! Reach into the bag and pick a marble the person with the same color will be in a team.”

The bag went around the room, the teams were Alex and J’onn with red, Kara and Brainy with blue, Nia and Kelly with green and you and Lena with yellow.

Brainy and Kara won scrabble, Nia and Kelly took second, J’onn and Alex took third and you and Lena took last. You both didn’t mind though, you were both still eating and didn’t have the appetite to be winning at the moment. You’ve always expressed how you’d rather have a good time than win, although winning did help.

Playing Team Uno was a bit different. Instead of the usual seven cards each team got 12 cards and could only draw once. If you called uno at the wrong time you’d have to take a card from someone on your left. Lena was counting cards and by the looks of it so was Brainy. But where Kara just wanted to play you were planning. You had taken all the special cards in your hand while Lena played. Only if a special card was placed would you place down a special card. Alex has called uno th round before.

“Sorry guys,” Nia pulled out the draw 4 wild card and placed it on the deck.

You and Lena smirked as another draw 4 was placed. Alex and J’onn drew before Brainy placed another draw 4 wild on, Nia and Kelly placed another and you and Lena placed another calling uno. Alex groaned.

You and Lena won uno, Brainy and Kara took second, Nia and Kelly third and Alex and J’onn last.

“For our sign I think we should make it really specific.” Lena thought.

“Running your right hand in your hair then resting your chin on your right hand?”

“Running your hand through your hair is your thing?”

“You’ve ran your hand through your hair like 5 times tonight.”

“How about only resting on your right hand?”

“Okay,” you agreed quickly.

Everyone had switched seats so there weren’t any secret signals. You sat next to Kara. Everytime it wasn’t your turn you stared at Lena.

“Did you ask her out?” Kara whispered.

“Will you relax,” you frowned.

“Are you okay? You’re shaking?” Kara grabbed your hand.

“I’m just nervous, okay. You’re putting a lot of pressure on me. Trust me when I say want to do everything right for her but I’m just scared.” You were mumbling so only Kara could hear. “Lena’s got crabs!”

Lena got a crab token. Kara wrapped her arm around you and this pissed off Lena. She was getting really annoyed. Were you just treating her nicely so no one would be suspicious of you and Kara. She couldn’t handle this, she was feeling hot from the alcohol and she needed air. Normally she would handle her alcohol just fine, but tonight she was also angry.

“I’m going to head home, I’m not feeling so great.” Lena stood up.

“No, you can’t go.” You pouted.

“We still have Pictionary!”

“It’s been a really long day.” Lena started.

“Let me give you a ride,” you stood.

“No I can’t keep you from having a good time.”

“Well at least let me wait with you until your driver comes.” Kara patted your leg to encourage you.

It pissed Lena off. “That’s okay he’s already here.” Her heart pounded but she remained stoic on the outside.

“Let me walk you out then.” She couldn’t say no when you were already heading towards her.

The elevator ride down was quiet. You kept rolling back and forth on your heels and toes while Lena held her hands together.

“Do you/Are you” were spoken respectively by you and Lena at the same time.

“Go ahead.” You smiled at her.

“Are you... are you Kara together?”

You frowned. “Where did you get that from?”

“You don’t have to hide it. I can see that you two love each other.”

“Wait what?” The elevator dinged.

Lena walked out as you followed her. “Lena, Kara and I aren’t together.”

Lena turned around to face you. “(Y/n) stop trying to hide it, I can see the looks on her face every time she looks at you, and how you two act around each other.” She continued to walk.

You ran in front of her to stop her. “I’m not with Kara, she’s just teasing me because every time you walk into the room, I get star-struck, I fall head over heels for you every single time I see you. I’m in love with you.”

“You’re not just being nice to cover you in Kara?”

“For you it’s love, everyone else is a cover.”

Lena grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you towards her lips. You didn’t even have time to respond when she pulled away. You did however pull her back into your arms to kiss her properly. Lena smiled after the both of you pulled away.

“Do you want to go on a date with me next Friday?” You asked.

“I don’t know, I have a game night with my friends.” Lena teased.

“Let’s ditch and go somewhere else.”

“Will Kara like that?” Lena smirked.

“Stop with the whole Kara thing.” You frowned. “So... Lena Luthor was jealous then,” you smirked.

“I was NOT!” 

“Yeah right. Where is your driver exactly?” You looked around.

Lena’s eyes widened, she was so caught up on leaving that she never actually called her driver. She pulled out her phone with a faint blush and kept her gaze down. You looked over at her phone as she scrolled through her contacts for her driver. You grabbed her phone before she could dial. 

“I give you a ride home.” You reached out to grab Lena’s hand. 

“I don’t think your motorcycle is in Kara’s apartment.”

“It isn’t but my keys and helmet are.” 

“Oh it isn’t because you want to say goodbye to Kara.” Some venom spilled. 

“It’s so I can take my girl home.” You pulled Lena into a hug as you rested your cheek near the top of her head. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.” 

[cocktail-party-in-an-abattoir]

In Memoriam Herschel (2005-2021)

           It was the late summer/early autumn of 2005. I was 16 years old. I went to a friend’s house for a get-together with other friends. She lived in a more rural area, so stray cats were not uncommon. One of these strays had recently birthed a litter of kittens. They were corralled into a blocked-off area in my friend’s den. Naturally, we all gravitated towards the kittens. We spent a good while petting them, playing with them, holding them, and watching them with their mother. A particular kitten was a gray and white tabby. This kitten had made its way towards me and tried to crawl up one of my jean legs. I was wearing bootcut jeans, so it actually managed it. I was immediately drawn to this kitten, the idea of asking my parents if we could keep it already forming.

While my friends and I were playing with them, we decided to give them all smartass, noncommittal names. None of us could sex kittens, so that was reflected in the names we chose. I named the gray and white tabby (of which there were two, but I zeroed in on the jean leg kitten) “Herschel.” Why? Well, when I was eight or nine, I used to play House with friends. I had heard the name “Herschel” on some sitcom, and I liked the sound of it. So, I often named my fake son “Herschel.” This became an inside joke between my best friend and me.

            Back at home, I asked my mom if we could adopt the kitten. She had veto power. She was kind of hesitant at first but eventually relented. A few weeks later my friend and her mom brought the kitten over to my house. By that point I was already seriously referring to it as “Herschel.” We all just kind of assumed it was male. The first thing Herschel did after getting out of the carrying case was hide behind one of our bookcases and stayed there.

            We took Herschel to the vet. Upon examination the vet tech proclaimed he was, in fact, she. Her exact words were “You have a little girl!” For better or for worse, I was committed to “Herschel” (much to my mom’s chagrin), so from then on, I had a girl cat with a boy name. This led to years of various people (mostly veterinary staff) getting her sex wrong. I don’t know that I ever bothered correcting them because, well, they were going to find out the truth soon enough.

            Between 2005 and 2010, Herschel grew from a kitten with what my mom described as “Yoda ears” into a gorgeous young lady. She had the most beautiful green eyes. People always had nice things to say about her looks. She had an adorable bow-legged gait from the beginning. She grew into an affectionate little cuddle-bug once she adjusted to us. She was wary of strangers, which was probably for the best. She did not like to go outside as much as our older cat, Simba (RIP)—especially after being treed once—but she was a very skilled huntress. She even managed to get two hummingbirds. Obviously, I’m not a fan of such “presents,” but I couldn’t help but be impressed by her prowess.

            In 2007, we adopted 2 labs named Olive and Penny (RIP x2). 2010, we adopted two fluffy black kittens from our vet’s office. We named them Buttercup and Licorice (RIP x2). Herschel respected Simba because of his seniority, but she absolutely despised the other pets. She would growl and hiss at them on sight. Because of this, the dogs had to stay downstairs while the cats had free rein upstairs. By 2012, Buttercup had gone missing, and we had adopted two more animals: a cat named Kid Twist (“Twist” for short) and a blue heeler named Bleu. Herschel did not care for them either. That same year my parents moved one state over, and I moved to a nearby city to stay with a family friend. The Menagerie went with my parents.

            One day in 2013 or 2014 my mom commented about how Herschel hid under a guest room bed much of the time. She would only come out to do her business or eat. Since the dogs had free rein over the entire house, this meant there was no real “safe space” for Herschel. Thus, her reclusiveness. Mom was worried about her well-being. I offered to take Herschel under my wing. Mom agreed. Now, my housemate already had a few cats, so it wasn’t perfect, but it was an improvement over a house with dogs. Herschel had been under my care since.

            In 2015 Herschel moved with me into the apartment I currently live in. Despite my apartment’s smallness, she was finally the one cat in a one-cat home. I had stopped letting her out because a) my apartment complex is positively labyrinthine b) the complex is next to a busy highway, and c) I wanted her to live longer and not harm any wildlife (although her hunting days were behind her). She didn’t seem to mind. For the next few years, she was my kitty comrade. Aside from some dental issues and a heart murmur, she always had a clean bill of health. I honestly thought she was going to live as long as Simba had (18, almost 19) because he was also a spry geriatric cat.

            In late 2020, Herschel was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. She had been growing thinner and vomiting before I found out. I had to start giving her medication twice per day, but there was otherwise no change. She was still the empress I knew and loved, if a little slower. I thought that was going to be it. Then, earlier this year, the vet ran some more tests. While I had managed to lower her thyroid levels, the vet found another problem: chronic kidney disease. My blood ran cold upon hearing this because one of our pet labs, Olive, had died from kidney failure a few years prior. The vet told me while there was no cure, CKD could be managed with diet changes and medication. He was right, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case with Herschel. She quickly went from stage 3 to stage 4 (4 being the end stage). I still kick myself about this because I feel like I could’ve found out sooner. Anyway, the vet suggested I should have Herschel hospitalized for a couple of days with IV fluids. The idea was to basically rehydrate her and then start a regimen of a new diet, supplements, and medication.

            So, I waited outside for three hours until a hospital staff member came to collect Herschel. It would’ve been longer, but my very kind vet called ahead. A couple of days later my mom and I returned to the hospital to wait for Herschel. It was March 25th, my birthday. One of the vets called me and stated despite the diuresis, Herschel’s stats remained the same. She stated I had probably 2 weeks left with her. I knew she was right, but I was still determined to try. I gave her daily cocktails of medication. I learned how to give her subcutaneous injections to hydrate her. I got the prescription wet food. At first, she had more okay days than bad, but it eventually became clear she was circling the drain. Treatment transformed into hospice care. I was going to do everything possible to keep her comfortable. By the end she was incontinent and no longer eating or drinking. Then she stopped being able to walk. I knew I had to make the final appointment. After a long crying session, I did.

            My mom came to help yesterday. Herschel was mostly immobile and out of it. Not even her favorite prosciutto roused her. I swaddled her in a changing pad and a blanket and slept with her next to me for one more night. She was still alive this morning if barely. Before we were set to go to her final appointment, I played her Sugarloaf’s “Green-Eyed Lady” (which will always remind me of her) and Audrey Hepburn’s version of “Moon River.” As my mom and I went to prepare her for the appointment, we realized how still she was. She did not appear to be breathing, and she did not react to anything we did. I took a flashlight to her pupils and… she was gone. She had died peacefully on my couch, which was one of her favorite spots to lounge. Honestly, I was relieved because the thought of taking her to a strange place to be euthanized frankly distressed me. I cuddled her ragdoll body from then until we were sitting in the vet office’s parking lot. Mom got a chance to hold her, too. A vet tech came out, used her stethoscope, and confirmed what we already knew. After a few more minutes with her we said our last goodbyes. I filled out paperwork confirming I wanted her ashes returned to me with a clay pawprint.

            I want Herschel’s ashes buried on my parents’ property with the others. Maybe a little farther away since she did not like most of them. I’m also looking into urn jewelry so I can carry her with me. This cat saw me at some of my lowest points, including when I was furloughed from my job last year. This cat was sweet and affectionate but also a pesky little shit. This cat was the first living being I was fully responsible for. She somehow managed to be regal while shoving her butthole into your face. If she liked you, she came and sat with you. If she didn’t, she hid behind the washing machine. I’m convinced she was part slug because even at her largest she was able to fit into confined spaces. I will miss her trilling meows. She was beautiful to the end, and I will always love her and miss her. I don’t know if there is an afterlife or not, but if there is, I hope she has endless king crab and prosciutto to snack on.

[ghostofvixx]

Whirlwind |CSN|

When meeting your soulmate is important, but hating on San is important too.

Genre: fluff + bulleted au 

Words: 1.7k

Requested: @softyn  hi botch 🤪🤪 you already know what I want and why I am here but 😔😔😔 let me request an enemies to lovers for San 🤲

Warnings: maybe cursing sometime?? + mentions of alcohol + it gets cheesy lmao sorry I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BUBU I WROTE IT IN TIME RECORD BC ILY AS MUCH AS I LOVE SAN AND HIS EYES UWUWUWU.

There’s always this person in your group of friends that you don’t necessarily have to get along well with, right?

Sometimes it’s not even necessary to interact with them, some others you have to stand each other for the sake of the group.

The last one would be you and San.

but ok ok let me explain:

You met at a party since your group of friends began to get along with San’s group, AND at first, you didn’t interact with anyone but one person

Yeosang.

He approached you first, made an attempt to start a friendly conversation first, and ended up winning your heart thanks to his outgoing personality.

No, not a crush, but yes a good friend,,, right?

THEN, when the conversation was starting to get interesting A WHIRLWIND CAME THROUGH.

It was San.

He introduced himself and then sat between both of you, placing his arms around your shoulders and Yeosang’s shoulders. You don’t know how but he even managed to change the topic of the conversation.

That didn’t bother you, but he was too bubbly, too sunshine, not the calm you were used to.

And Yeosang became exactly the same when San made his appearance.

How’s someone able to change another person as much? How can you have that power?

So well, technically you don’t hate him, but it’s obvious that you don’t get along.

From there, the night went downhill, Yeosang had to leave early and said a quick goodbye with a friendly pat on your right shoulder, where San had placed his arm only half an hour ago.

Then your friend got wasted and you had to stand a LOT of drunk people pushing you, as you were only trying to make your way to the exit nicely to help your friend.

But there’s something special about that night, because when you got home,,, SURPRISE!! THERE WERE SOME INK DOTS ON YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER!!

YOU HAD MET YOUR SOULMATE CONGRATS!!!

But oh well

a lot of people had touched your right arm that night:

Your friend who got immediately discarded.

San same thing lmao

Yeosang

and ALMOST EVERYONE in the party,,,

it wasn’t going to be easy to find them.

And your life kept going normally from there

except for the fact that now you had to see San’s face almost every day,,, and you weren’t exactly glad by it.

The boy has made his attempts to get along with you

but you don’t seem receptive at all, so at some point, he gave up,,, and decided to just tease the hell out of you

and viceversa

some days things would get out of hand and you get really really mad at him,,, which doesn’t improve your relationship at all

at this point, everyone in both groups knows it’s better not to leave both of you alone unless they want you to fight

which they don’t

and then, you finally have new from your soulmate

it happened once again, at a party

a birthday party, not much alcohol

but with truth or dare

and you dummy decide to choose dare bc ooh you’re a though person

WHY DID YOU DO THAT NOW YOU HAVE TO TOUCH EVERYONE IN ORDER TO DISCOVER IN WHICH POCKET THEY’VE HID YOUR PHONE.

And with touch I mean,,, you have to give everyone at least a tiny hug in order to discover

no, we don’t touch buts in here

That night, when you take your shirt off, you see a tiny drawing of something you can’t identify in black ink, again in your right shoulder

maybe a rose??? OOf, typical

which only can mean one thing

YOUR SOULMATE IS IN ATEEZ,,,,,,,

DUDE

You go crazy from there

and your mind can’t stop thinking

but your heart beats faster when you think of Yeosang.

MAYBE IT’S HIM, THERE’S A POSSIBILITY THAT THE KINDEST MAN YOU’VE MET IS YOUR SOULMATE.

So you HAVE to spend time with him

a lot

BUT that means that you HAVE to spend time with San too,,, bruh.

“Y/n,,, why are you studying it’s break time”

“At least I study.”

“OH NO YOU DIDN’T.”

“WHAT IF I DID?”

Then the next day.

“San, don’t you think you’re being too hyper today? You’re making me cringe”

“It’s part of my nature, y/n, if you don’t like it well,,, bye!”

and the rest is just a mix of eye-rolls at what the other says, or maybe hide the other’s stuff, stealing their food…

You end up focusing more on bickering with San that you forget your actual purpose. getting to know Yeosang and then hug him, to check.

If only you had done that, you would have noticed how he was a lot on his phone, not even trying to stop you or his friend from fighting, or how his cheeks always got red at the sight of a new person coming into the cafeteria

it wouldn’t have been a surprise, nor a heartbreak when he introduced his soulmate and new couple to the rest of the group.

you were shocked, to say the least.

Your almost crush? Who you thought he was your SOULMATE? Like 100% convinced???

a heartbreak indeed.

When the bell rang you had never stood sooner,, dude your right arm even TOUCHED San’s and you didn’t say A THING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BOTHERED AS YOU ALWAYS DO??

That’s what San thought.

but you didn’t

nor the following day

or the day after

you were just busy thinking about your stuff like,,, wtf Yeosang I feel betrayed?? Why didn’t he tell me?? He was my almost crush GOD

Then who is it??

“y/n, are you okay?”

The voice you hated the most was talking to you on your way to your class,,, with a hint of concern.

“I am, why?”

“Today I’ve told you your hair looks like an ugly toothbrush like four times and you’ve said nothing at all”

you didn’t?

WHY DIDN’T YOU THAT BRAT AH ISTG.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“You seem off since Yeosang has gotten himself a couple, does that have anything to do?”

this time you’re the one concerned, is he okay? Why is he walking to you as friends? AND HOW DOES HE KNOW?

“Don’t worry, I’m cancer, we’re great listeners, I won’t tell I promise…”

that made you laugh.

“…Besides, I miss my friend too.”

“I thought he was my soulmate.”

His mouth went ‘o’ and that was enough to make you laugh again,,, he’s just very expressive, you know.

And his words,,, he misses his friend,,, Yes, y’all don’t see Yeosang as much.

“He’ll come back, you’ll have your friend back, I’m sure, he’s just whipped right now, he’ll get through it,,, I’ll just keep looking for my soulmate I guess,,, but I really wanted it to be him.”

San, looking at you sympathetically, gave you a hug that lasted enough to make you come out of the shock and hug him back.

your heart was about to explode, but then maybe you were just ashamed, right?

He’s your enemy after all.

it just felt,,, special.

That night, when you took a shower, something black was covering almost your entire shoulder

a black-inked crab was the shape of it, not a rose.

who had touched you that day?

you’ve made special care not to be touched by anyone until you find out who your soulmate is

except but,,,

OH MY GOD

This can’t be, right?

But then again, he said his zodiac sign was cancer

cancers are represented by a crab, right?

GOD YOU WERE SO DUMB

BOTH OF YOU

WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO NOW??

You, still surprised and not thinking straight, decided to text San.

“YOU STUPID”

“Oh no, now we’re going to insult each other through text? I’m not in the mood now y/n pls.”

“I’M NOT IN THE MOOD EITHER I’VE DISCOVERED I HAVE A CRAB ON MY ARM”

“a crab??”

“TATTOOED YOU IDIOT”

“oh,,, and?”

“The only person I’ve touched today was you dumbass.”

“,,,, brb I’m omw.”

It took San 10 long minutes to get to your apartment.

“C-can I see it?”

In another circumstance, you would have SLAPPED his face, but this time, you decided to let it be and lowered the sleeve of your shirt to show him.

He looked at it in awe and then looked at you in the same way.

Words aren’t necessary when you have San’s eyes

they’re,,, intimidating, fun, sweet, sometimes dark, and expressive,,, a whirlwind

everything that San is

even if you hate(d) him, you had to admit that San’s eyes are just impossible to hold the stare.

He’s powerful only in that way.

“I wanted to call your attention.” He said. “I just didn’t know fate was by my side.”

“W-what?”

“You caught my attention, that day. Then you hated me, and I hated you, but not in the same way. I mean, I really tried to hate you but then there’s everything that is actually nice about you from what I’ve seen, and then this gut feeling that you could actually be my soulmate,,, I wanted to call your attention.”

“Did you have to be that extreme?”

“You gave me no other choice, you hated me right away.”

“I didn’t hate you,,, I was just,,, bothered,,, blinded,,, I don’t know, I know nothing now.”

“Take your time, figure it out, you can’t hate me and love me on the following day.”

San’s matured side left you shooketh

you loved that part of him

and his eyes, once again

because now they were like shouting “I adore you, and we never lie.”

San stopped staring into your eyes, giving up first for the first time ever, but you didn’t want him to.

“Before you go, I need to check something.”

you don’t know where you found the courage or the need to do so, but you’ve been told so many times that kissing your soulmate is when the pieces finally click, the magic moment you’ll never experience again with any other person.

They were right.

San’s lips taste sweet, and they taste even sweeter when they’re kissing you back, and here, and there, all-around your face, your neck,,,

You’re now confused about being confused.

Would it be normal if you just like him now? After all this time getting REALLY ANNOYED by him?

But how can you not when it feels like you’ve found everything you’ve been looking for?

“Stop thinking, I can hear your thoughts from here.” He comments. “Don’t worry, the world doesn’t end today, we still have some time to figure it out tomorrow.”

And he’s right, you’ll figure it out.

But not now that he’s kissing you again 

and that you can see the warm light in his left shoulder even with his shirt on.

So, that’s what meeting your soulmate like,,, like a whirlwind,,,

Like meeting San.

[gweniala]

The Ultimate Sauce

15.1. is the day the triplets (Krevel, Nike and Nehmen) were created. To celebrated their birthday, I wrote this short fic.

A note to the writing: I’ve recently learned about two mistakes in my storytelling: 1) Overuse of adverbs and fancy dialogue tags. Readers do a lot of interpretation when reading a dialogue. For example, I know that in my case my inner voice reads the lines out loud without ever knowing what the author intended. So readers should be able to infer information about the tone, the reasoning and the gestures from the dialogue alone. There’s no need to sprinkle “Nehmen exclaimed vigorously, wide-eyed” on top of “Let’s play tag!”. The dialogue tag “said” should be used 90 % of the time. It’s the unobtrusive, invisible dialogue tag. Most readers don’t even read it and go straight to the core information - who’s currently speaking. Fancy dialogue tags should be used for imparting a strong emotion; if they are used indiscriminately, they lose their impact. 2) Assuming the reader is an idiot. My background is plasma physics and nuclear fusion. When I write a scientific article, I always take care to explain everything as clearly as possible. The subject is hard enough; the writer’s job is to make it easier to understand. This tendency carries over to my storytelling, where I drive the same point home three times because I’m not sure if the reader got it on the first two occasions. However, the average reader is much better equipped to understand complex character-driven storytelling than a nuclear fusion article. There is no need to lay things completely bare; in fact, such writing can be boring or downright insulting to the reader’s intelligence. Therefore, I need to learn leaving clues and letting the reader figure out the message/theme on their own. I know how much I love interpreting the work of others. I shouldn’t take that joy away from my readers.

I tried to employ these two lessons in The Ultimate Sauce. Let me know what you think; I always appreciate constructive critique.

Once upon a time, there was a powerful king. His name was Hoborg and his land was called the Neverhood. It was a small land, with only thirty-or-so inhabitants, but Hoborg loved it all the same. Every day he would gaze out the window and wonder how he could make his subjects happy.

Now, Hoborg was a creator. Making things out of nothing was his passion and his imagination was boundless. So, one day he thought:

“What if I made a sauce that made any food taste great?”

He set right to it. He created all kinds of flavours and seasonings, mixed every food which the Neverhood produced and tested the resulting blends. None of his creations met his expectations, however. Some were too sweet when eaten on their own, others turned sour when combined with fruits, and others yet left this strange aftertaste that Hoborg couldn’t quite pin down. But the king was nothing if not patient. After a painstaking month of research and experiment, he prevailed. By a stroke of luck, he was able to create the ultimate sauce which made any food taste absolutely fantastic.

Hoborg was very happy with his creation. He began singing and dancing with joy, and when his children asked what the matter was, he said:

“Tell this to everyone! Tomorrow there will be a great feast. Let everyone bring food and we shall eat the ultimate sauce!”

The news spread like wildfire and soon every Neverhoodian was giddy with anticipation. All kinds of food were gathered to go with the sauce: mulberries, sandwiches, fwasheep mush, potatoes, gravy; anything and everything that could be eaten. One of the Neverhoodians, called Nehmen, even convinced the rest that such a grand feast wouldn’t be complete without weasel meat. A weasel hunt was conducted an hour later and the mighty crab’s meat was added to the menu.

On the next day, however, the sauce was gone.

Immediately Hoborg thought of who the culprit could be. There was a Hoodian who would compulsively steal things and only return them weeks or months later. It was, in fact, the aforementioned Nehmen. Hoborg called him to the Throne Room for an audience. He wasn’t very surprised when Nehmen’s two brothers, Nike and Krevel, tagged along as well.

“So what did he do this time?” Nike asked.

“The sauce we were supposed to have today is gone,” Hoborg said. “And I was wondering who might have taken it.”

“I don’t have it,” Nehmen said immediately. “I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t have it. Maybe it got lost. A bird took it and dropped it into the void. Or maybe it disappeared on its own.”

“Sauces don’t just disappear,” Nike said.

“Never mind that,” Nehmen said. “Look Hoborg, maybe you should just create more of the sauce. I know what everyone’s thinking, but I don’t have the sauce and I can’t return it. Honest to all my dads!”

“Come on,” Krevel said, “you can tell us. No one’s going to know, it’s just the three of us and Hoborg. Dad, you haven’t told anyone yet, have you?”

Hoborg shook his head. “I thought I might go straight to the source.”

Krevel turned back to Nehmen. “See? It’s okay. You can just give the sauce back and we’ll all forget this ever happened.”

But Nehmen shook his head stubbornly. “I said I don’t have it! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

“Because,” Nike said, rolling his eyes, “every time something goes missing, it’s your fault! For Quater’s sake… Just stop making excuses and give the sauce back already!”

“I said, I don’t have it!” Nehmen shrieked. Tears sprang to his eyes and he began sniffling.

“Aww,” Krevel said and rubbed his brother’s back. “Don’t be so harsh on him, Nike. Come on, Nehmen. It’s not such big deal. It’s just a sauce. Hm… how about a trade? I’ll do you a middling favour in return for telling us where you hid the sauce. Two hours tops and no big probs.”

Nehmen just shook his head.

“A big favour then?”

“For Quater’s sake,” Nike said. “Don’t bribe him to do the right thing. Nehmen, stop being such a pushover over a bottle of sauce! Why are you being so troublesome?”

But Nehmen kept shaking his head and crying.

“I think it might be because he really doesn’t have the sauce,” Hoborg said. He heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry, Nehmen. I blamed you without any real proof. Just… you three, tell everyone that the feast will be delayed a little. I’ll try to create more of the sauce. It won’t be as good as the original batch, but it will have to do.”

“We’ll spread the news,” Nike said. All three bowed and left.

Thus Hoborg set to making the ultimate sauce again. The recipe he had previously used was so complicated that he couldn’t recall all its details. He remembered the main points, however, and that was enough. Two hours later, he had created another bottle of sauce. It was quite similar to the original sauce, he reckoned, though it wasn’t quite as good.

Hoborg brought his new creation to the South Plain, where the feast was taking place. Everyone welcomed him cheerfully and gathered around for his speech.

“This sauce,” Hoborg said, raising the bottle up high, “was created for all of you to enjoy. It was made out of love, so it will make almost anything taste great. Now, enjoy!”

His children cheered and clapped. Someone pressed a weasel sandwich into Hoborg’s hands. The king poured a bit of his sauce on the sandwich and passed the bottle on. When he bit into the meal, his mouth was filled with joy and wonder. The sauce wasn’t perfect… but it was still very, very good.

Happily Hoborg chewed and watched his children try the sauce. Every time someone dug in and their eyes lit up and they exclaimed something like “this is so good”, Hoborg’s heart skipped and rejoiced. Their smiles were what he lived for. And it didn’t seem like anyone was bothered by the fact that the sauce wasn’t perfect.

Gradually the feast turned into a laid-back picnic. Games were played and tales were told. A few Hoodians brought musical instruments and played them, others danced. Hoborg was watching them, enjoying a glass of mulberry juice, when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, uh,” Nehmen said in a slightly anxious tone, “thanks for the sauce, dad! It’s really good. Not as good as the first one, but still really good.”

Hoborg gave him a look. “How would you know that?” he asked.

Nehmen twirled his stem around his fingers. “Well… I went to the library yesterday evening. When I was going through the Throne Room, I saw this bottle. I thought someone had left a drink there… and it smelled so nice… so I drank it. It tasted so good, I just drank it all. And when the bottle was empty, I thought… Wait… was this Hoborg’s new sauce?” He shrugged, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, dad. I didn’t mean to ruin your work like that.”

Hoborg patted Nehmen’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Everything turned out alright in the end. Thank you for telling me.”

Nehmen brightened up. “So you forgive me?”

“Yes,” Hoborg said, “I forgive you.”

“Yay!” Nehmen squealed and hugged him. “Thank you! And please don’t tell anyone.” He winked at him mischievously. “See you around!”

Hoborg waved goodbye to the boy, shaking his head. Sometimes Nehmen was nothing but trouble… but he still had a good heart.

Hoborg fumbled for his glass of juice. But it was gone.

“Nehmen…” he sighed.

[paragonrobits]

instead of reading Meat all in one go like i did with Candy, I’m gonna do a liveblog of it; writing my reactions down as I go, covering a few pages, and posting the results later!

here is the first one, in which John makes a decision, Karkat and Dave discuss politics, and Jane’s business skills are called into question. Also, Obama fanfic is canon to this iteration of timelines, it would seem.

Well, Candy was an absolute trip-scape and a half so how horrific can Meat be? A lot, probably.

That last scene with Roxy and Calliope, oh no oh NOOOOO this is tragic and super sad, and he just makes an awkward mess of himself?? Roxy was hoping he wouldnt go? And he just makes it SO AWKWARD. HE TRIES TO HUG THEM GOODBYE BUT THEY’RE ALREADY TURNED AWAY. HE MADE THE CHESS PEOPLE EMBARRASSED. This poor, unfortunate goober.

Leaving letters to his friends, OH DEAR.

Karkat likes the Jake butt, i did not see that coming. Then again, the Harley butt is undoubtedly the most hypnotic. Science facts, people.

Rap battle and robot wrestling sounds pretty fuckawesome honestly

I have to ask; what exactly is WITH the epilogue’s treatment of Jane as Condesce 2.0? With her being a troll-hating fascist that Karkat and Dave are super suspicious of? Like, I can see it as being something she accidentally stumbles into as part of her Super Captalist vibes, but… it’s just being presented as a Jane thing from the get-go and she has never shown ANY signs of this at all. Granted, Jane has had the least interactions with trolls, but she has no real NEGATIVE interactions with them apart from Sober Gamzee, but that had nothing to do with him being a troll, just all Caliborn-ish. This whole ‘Jane is a xenophobic fascist’ thing just is coming out of nowhere and I don’t like that.

“Jane is a xenophobe” “a lot of humans are!” okay karkat, honestly that’s fair. I mean have you seen most of our sci fi? Most of it is either about humanity being ultra superior or aliens being evil, or both. 40k alone is gonna be a strike against us, i can tell you that

KARKAT YOU ARE TOO A LEADER, NOW SHUT UP AND DO THE FRIENDLEADER, TAKE BACK THE TITLE FROM WHICH YOU BEQUATHED TO VRISKA, SHE PROCEEDE TO DO FUCKALL WITH IT.

“People don’t love me!” dont you break my heart, karkat, DONT YOU DO IT!!! DONT, JUST DONT; in all honesty, i love that we ARE getting more of karkat getting back to leader basics, though i totally missed that apparently he thoguht it was about commanding fear and respect? Considering he named his team Adorabloodthirsty, getting FEAR from people isn’t exactly something i associate with crab boi

Homestuck has brought us the phrase “freestyle obama fanfiction”, i am not suprised

“That didn’t involve the american political landscape turning into a nightmarish daily joke” AHAHAHAHA oh man, dave, oh man. Oh man. OH MAN. you missed out on some SHIT LET ME FUCKIN TELL YOU

I am still convinced that Dave and Karkat, and the rest, genuinely have no idea that the Mayor, for all his sweetness, is honestly kind of an acerbic asshole when he DOES communicate. Maybe that’s why they love him so much though

I gotta ask, though. How the hell DID humans get into a dominant position in the government?? Trolls live longer than them, they have immense physical and psionic power, and they have to outnumber the humans pretty significantly. I mean, there ARE more human gods than trolls so that might give humans something of a cultural authority, but by that logic the carapacians should be more dominant since THEY (or at least, the Mayor and company) founded the society in the first place. And what the hell is this stuff about hummans being more naturally ambitious? I mean they might come off that way because they’re being contrasted against consorts and carapacians, who are engineered to be generally group-thinkers, but c’mon

Psst, hey. Did you remember that ALTERNIA IS NOT THE DEFAULT STATE OF TROLLKIND. ALTERNIA IS IN NO WAY A NATURAL SOCIETY. IT IS THE RESULT OF AN ALL POWERFUL MANIPULATOR WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES TO ENGINEER A SOCIETY, AT EVERY LEVEL, TO BE RUTHLESS AND BRUTAL. BEFORUS IS THE NATURAL STATE OF TROLLS; it wasn’t PERFECT but if you go by how they wound up without interference, trolls should be winding up as a culture of coddling and easy-going caretakers. In-universe they sohuld GODDAMN KNOW THAT, COME ON

Okay, this confirms something for me, though; this is a post scarcity society. They dont NEED TO SPEND MONEY ON ANYTHING. THERE IS LITERALLY NO REASON FOR WEALTH OR MONEY TO EXIST IN ANY FORM WHATSOEVER. So why even bother with the pretense? What is the POINT of people having jobs if all resources and products can be produced on the spot??? Like your wealth is meaningless, Dave, and honestly you have to know that and you’re keeping it going because its part of your aesthetic to fuck around and amuse yourself with the knowledge that its pointless to care about valueless money but, STILL. SERIOUSLY. It does illustrate his point that Jane doesn’t realy know what she’s doing when it comes to business, though

(im not saying that Terezi needs to be here and just leaving Vriska to her own devices and hanging out with Dave and Karkat and helping them build a better world and making bizarre comebacks but… she does, someone do an AU of ‘President Karkat and Terezi is his terrifyingly charismatic vice president’ please

...okay but WHY is the world seeming to follow the American political system. I mean, why though

I dont know why but it really makes me happy that the Dirk Decapitatio Meme is actually canon. I mean, not like in the Candy route. That was fucked up beyond all recognition.

[theycallmemoosey]

Long Distances

Dan x Reader 

Request - Hey! Can you do a dan howell one shot where the reader and him have been dating for like 4 or 5 years and she lives with Dan and Phil, and while Dan and Phil are doing their last show for interactive introvert and the reader wants to surprise Dan so at the end of the show the reader goes to the side of the audience and Dan sees her and runs off stage and hugs and kisses her?

A/N - Hey guys, so this is an attempt at a request I received from @bitweird1 (I do apologise if this is not what you were hoping for). Thank you to my wee mentor @musicaltheatrenerd2002 for helping me remain sane when I fisnished this at 2am this morning, love and appreciation to you. Please send in more requests, as I literally have no imagination of my own, as you can tell from the title...anyway, I really hope you enjoy!  Moose :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure you’ve packed everything?” Phil asked Dan one last time.

“Phil, I’ve double checked my bags, Y/N’s triple checked them, and you’ve checked them around 50 times. I’m sure I have everything” Dan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, wishing he could just collapse on his bed.

“Dan! This is for 6 months! Once we leave, we’re not coming back!” “I’m quite aware, Phil” Phil sighed, noticing the exasperated expression on Dan’s face, “I know you’re going to miss her, Dan...” “Bit of an understatement, Phil” he smiled weakly, “6 months without seeing her. 5 years together and we’ve never been apart for longer than a week” Phil nodded, seeing Dan close to tears, “know what? I don’t know what I’m stressing about. You’ve packed your entire  wardrobe” Dan remained silent, staring at the picture on the bedside table. It was taken by Phil the day you moved into their flat. It was the best day of his life. “I’m...I’m just going to finish packing the rest of my things...” Phil smiled awkwardly, backing out of the room. Dan huffed and fell backwards onto the bed, running his hands over his head. It wasn’t long after when he felt a dip on the bed next to him. “Phil! How many times?! I’m packed!” “I know you are, Bear...” Dan took his hands off his head and sat up at the sound of voice, his eyes widening in shock. “You’re home early” he finally smiled widely. “Yeah...told Jackie that it’s the last night I’ll see you before you head off around the world for 6 months” “Huh, didn’t realise the demon had a heart” “She doesn’t. She does, however, have a heart for money” “You bribed your boss to let you home early?!” “What else was I supposed to do?” Dan smiled widely at you, laughing slightly, before lunging towards you in a bear hug, pushing you back onto the bed. “Dan!” You squealed, feeling him tickle your sides until you were out of breath, “I surrender! I surrender!” Dan kissed your neck and sat up, letting you catch your breath, the two of you smiling. “I got you something” Dan smiled, heading over to the desk where there was a small box, “it’s really nothing huge, but...it’s just something to remember me by” “Dan, you’re not dying!” You said as he gave you the box, watching him fall down next to you. “Shut up and open it” he shoved your side playfully, watching anxiously as you opened the box, revealing a small, smooth pebble. “A...a pebble?” You asked, confused. “Yeah. It’s the one you picked up on our first date. When we went to the beach?” “I threw that in the sea!” “And then I got it back when you were looking at that weird crab thing” Your mouth had dropped, your heart melting. “Turn it over” Dan laughed, pointing at it. You turned it over and read out the inscription, “Forever yours, D” You sighed, a tear falling down your cheek, unaware of Dan noticing, “Hey! Hey...Y/N...” “I love you, Danny” you smiled, the tears running down your face faster. Dan run his thumb along your face, wiping the tears away, “I love you too” You chuckled, sniffing slightly, “I got you something too” You pointed to the black bag in the corner of the room, Dan getting up and walking over to it, rustling around. You watched as he paused and threw his head back in laughter. You laughed with him as he pulled out the llama plushie. “Seriously?!” “Danisnotonfire for life, Danny. You can never escape the branding!” You teased. Dan rolled his eyes and threw the plushie at you, narrowly avoiding your head. “Pathetic, Daniel. Really...” you scolded, smiling at him stupidly.

“Dan? Dan?!” You whispered, shaking Dan’s shoulder slightly. Dan mumbled quietly, pulling the duvet closer to his chest. “Dan, come on. It’s time to go, Bear” You could tell Dan was slowly waking up, as he snuggled closer towards you, resting his head on your chest. “Dan, come on. You’ll miss the plane if you keep behaving like this” Dan sighed, kissing your collarbone gently before heaving himself up to turn the light on and start getting dressed. “You want to wake the gremlin? Or should I?” He asked sleepily, pulling a pair of jeans out of the bag. “I’ll go. Just focus on yourself ok?” You said, passing him to go to Phil’s room. Dan pulled on his hoodie and rummaged around the desk in search of his cap, “Jesus Christ, where is it?!” Dan’s eyes flickered to the mirror above him, his eyes catching something on the floor. He turned around, staring at the llama on the floor. He walked over and picked it up, looking at it and smiling, before putting it safely in his rucksack. Dan dragged his three bags down the stairs, missing the last step and collapsing in a heap. “FUCK!” “Dan, are you okay?!” Phil asked, rushing down the stairs behind him. “Yeah, yeah fine. Just...in pain” Dan groaned, pushing the bags off of his body, Phil attempting to help while carrying his own. “Guys, taxi’s outside...what the hell’s going on?!” You asked, staring at the scene in front of you. “An elephant cane out of no where and pushed me down the stairs” Dan retorted, finally standing up and brushing himself off. “It’s 2 in the fucking morning. Don’t give me sarcasm, young man” You helped them carry their things to the door, where the taxi driver helped Phil put the bags into the back, leaving you and Dan to say your final goodbyes. “You’ll call me every chance you get, ok?” Dan mumbled into your neck as he hugged you tightly. “I’ll try. You stay safe, and don’t take sweets from strange men, ok?” you began to cry, running your hand through his curls as he laughed. “Leave my hair alone” Dan smiled, pushing your hand away. He watched as you turned around, pulling the cap from behind you. “Don’t take this off until you have time to do your hair properly, understand?” Dan laughed, squatting down to let you place the cap on his head, “I promise” Phil jogged up to the door, “Come on, Dan. Just got a call from the tour manager, he’s already at the airport. Apparently we’ve got a load of security guys there...” “Ooh look at you two, so famous you need security guards?” “Just a safety precaution apparently” Phil replied, moving in to hug you tightly, “don’t miss us too much, alright?” “I won’t miss you at all” “Yeah right” Phil laughed, pulling away from you. “You’ll take care of Danny boy for me, won’t you?” “Course I will” Phil smiled, kissing you on the cheek before jogging down the stairs and to the taxi driver. “Right, you better get-“ you were cut off by Dan pulling you into a deep kiss, holding you tightly at the waist. You wrapped your arms round his neck and pulled him in tightly. “I love you” Dan whispered as he pulled away, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “I love you too” you smiled, holding onto him as he stepped past the door, finally letting go as he smiled sadly, running down the steps to meet Phil in the taxi. As the two of them drove off, you stood at the door and wrapped and arm around you for comfort, waving as they passed. When the taxi rounded the corner, you sighed sadly and stepped back into the empty household, shutting the door quietly.

“Dan!” Dan sprung up, eyes wide as he heard his name being shouted across the room. “What?! What happened?!” “We’re late! The show starts in 30 minutes!” Phil exclaimed, frantically pacing around the hotel room, grabbing all his needed clothes. “Holy shit” Dan cried out, jumping out of bed and heading to his phone. 3 missed calls from the tour manager, 1 missed call from his mum, 2 missed FaceTime calls and 5 messages from you. “Shit...” Dan mumbled, putting his phone down and heading towards the curtains, opening them to reveal the views of Australia.  Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, you were sat on the sofa watching Supernatural and fiddling with Dan’s pebble, your eyes occasionally flickering over to your phone on the arm of the sofa, expecting some sort of reply from Dan. You were sure he would be up by now, hence why you were still awake at the ungodly hours of the morning. You waited. And waited. But nothing. Nothing but an angry message from your boss. It was hard coming home to a quiet Home everyday. It was hard cooking for one and not having the boys on your tail while you were so desperately trying not to burn whatever it was for dinner that night. It was hard to laugh without the competitive Mario Kart competitions the three of you would have each week. It was hard to sleep in an empty bed. You slid further down into Dan’s spot on the sofa, pulling the duvet up closer and clenching onto the pebble desperately, eventually falling into a deep sleep.

“Hi!” The girl spoke into the microphone, Dan and Phil greeting her, “I was actually just wondering how Y/N is? And how much you miss her? I know it’s been ages since you’ve properly seen her” The room began to fill with whispers and murmurs, the boys laughing awkwardly. Phil answered first, “We speak to her often over FaceTime and Skype, and as far as we know, she’s doing well. I know I miss her, I don’t know what I can say for Dan” “Oh god, I miss her so much. Of course it’s hard, but we knew this was all part of the job. And she loves you guys quite possibly more than she loves me, so she’s actually so supportive of what we do and...” Dan’s voice began to break and he hung his head, the sound of aw’s and cheers nothing but a faint noise. He felt Phil’s hand on his shoulder and he looked up at him, tears in his eyes, and he stood up and hugged Phil tightly. Phil was a bit taken back, but returned the hug willingly. When they pulled apart, the audience were still cheering in support. “Sorry, guys. 5 months is a long time to be away from her” Dan received a bunch of “We love you Dan!” and supportive cheers, but he returned to talking to the girl who asked the question. “Yes, we miss her like mad. But like Phil said, we do call her as much as we can and we each gave each other a present. I got her a...I warn you now, it’s cringe guys...I gave her a pebble from our first date” The crowd aww’d and Dan chuckled, “and it had an engraving in with a little message” “What did she get you?!” Dan heard an audience member ask, and he laughed. “I’ll show you! Phil, keep talking!” Dan rushed off the stage to grab the rucksack from the green room, the audience laughing. “Uhhh...to be honest, I’m not even sure what she got him. I just know he sleeps with it pretty much every night” he laughed as Dan rushed back onto the stage, holding the llama plushie behind his back. “You guys ready? I don’t think you’re ready...” he laughed, the audience cheering and whooping, “Ok! Ok!” Dan whipped the llama from behind him, showing it off to the audience, an eruption of laughs and applause deafening the boys. “The branding will never die” he chuckled, placing the llama on his seat. “What’s it’s name?” Phil asked, joining in with the laughter. “Uhhhh...I actually haven’t named it...” “What?! You haven’t named the thing you sleep with every night?” Dan slapped him on the arm, the audience laughing and cheering. “Come on, what’s his name?!” Phil encouraged. “Uhhhhh...Barack O’Llama” Phil sighed as the audience cheered again, chanting the new name for the llama. “Thank you for your question! Sorry it ended up being more about the bloody llama than Y/N” The audience cheered and Phil smiled comfortably at Dan, who simply sighed before continuing with the show.

You were sat at your desk at work, effortlessly scrolling down the spreadsheet of numerous figures, when your boss, Jackie, came up behind you. “Y/N, I’ve been called to an urgent meeting for the rest of the afternoon. I’m leaving you with the keys to lock up” “But my shift ends before lock up...” “Well, I guess you’ll have to stay a bit longer today then” she smiled patronisingly, handing you the keys before walking away. You groaned and swivelled back round in your chair. As you saw her get in her car out the window, you quickly searched up Tumblr to see all the pictures of the boys on their tour. It made you miss them a hell of a lot more, but it filled you with joy to see the two of them make so many people happy. You were scrolling through all the pictures for god knows how long when your colleague, Gemma, came up to you. “Y/N! Have you seen the latest video of Dan?” “Huh? Which one?” You asked, turning round to face her. “Oh my giddy aunt...Y/N, he misses you so much, you have no idea” “No, I know. He tells me everyday” you laugh awkwardly, smiling at her. “No, Y/N...just...watch this” she handed the phone to you and you pressed play. You watched as a girl asked about you. You watched as the boys laughed quietly. You watched Phil talk about you and how much he misses you. You watched as Dan broke down. Dan broke down. “Oh my god...” you whispered “Y/N, he misses you so much” Gemma said in an attempt to comfort you. “He broke down?” “It’s true love...” You continued to look at the phone, Gemma asking if you were ok. “Fuck it” you said, turning round and placing the phone on the desk, beginning to type in the tour website. “Y/N...what are you doing?” Gemma asked as she subtly took her phone back, cautious of the carefree attitude you had suddenly acquired. “I’m going to see him. I can’t take it anymore...” “What?! You’re going to a tour?! Y/N! It’s only a few more weeks!” “I’ve waited 5 months, I think I deserve to see him...” “Wait, Wait, Y/N! What about Jackie?!” “I’ll take my holiday early” you persisted, scrolling through the dates to book a ticket. “Y/N! Slow down!” “No, Gem. I’m going to see my boys!” Gemma sighed, “Why not go on the last day? End the tour on a high for both the fans and the boys?” You paused and hummed in agreement, scrolling down to the bottom of the booking page, “The last date’s the 21st of September in...India” “Great! Book a ticket! Tell Jackie you’re taking the week off!” “Yeah...yeah ok!”

“Last show, Danny boy! Last one and then we get to go home. God, Home! I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved the past 6 months but...home!” Phil rambled on excitedly, Dan smiling at the thought of seeing you again. “Let’s do this” Dan said, as the announcer introduced the boys to stage, a crowd erupting with cheers and shouts. “Hey, guys! Thank you very much for coming!” Phil started, sitting down on the chair they prepared for him. “And congratulations on being our very last show! The one to remember” Dan smiled, taking his place next to Phil. The fans started asking their questions and you waited patiently until the very last question, having spoken to the tour manager about your plan, he had ensured that you were last to “ask”. Many of the fans spotted you and cheered, and you had to beg them to remain quiet about it, explaining how you were going to surprise the boys. In the end, you felt too many had spotted you, so you got a special seat in the box where the sound guy was sat, until you were eventually escorted down the steps to the back of the line. “Wow! Guys! Time’s flown so fast! It’s last question already!” Phil cried out enthusiastically. It was clear to you that he was desperate to get home already. “Give a round of applause for the last question of the tour!” Dan began the applause, some of the fans cheering. You stepped up to the front of the queue, knowing they wouldn’t be able to see you with the lights that were blinding them. The assistant handed you the mic and you thanked them, your heart racing. “What’s your question?” Phil urged, smiling. “Hey guys, I’m a huge fan!” You said, seeing the fans out of the corner of your eye whispering and some gasping, noticing who it was, “I was actually wondering-“ You were cut off by cheering by the group of girls you were near, shouting your name. “I was wondering-“ You couldn’t finish the sentence, as you saw the boys finally notice who you were. “Y/N?!” Phil cried, smiling widely “Hey, Philly” you gave in, waving slightly. A light came onto you so that the audience could see you, and immediately the room was filled with applause and cheering. You didn’t notice, however, as you were focused on Dan, who was just staring at you, his jaw practically on the floor. He shook his head in disbelief, before dropping his mic and sprinting towards the edge of the stage. He jumped off, security having to rush towards the fans that tried to grab him, and sprinted towards you, engulfing you in a bear hug when he managed to get to you. He picked you up and spun you around, the audience shouting aw’s and cheers. He put you down, panting and smiling widely, before pulling you into a deep kiss. You laughed into it, before pulling him closer. The two of you were finally interrupted by Phil clearing his throat into the mic, apologising for the insane amount of PDA. Dan pulled away but refused to let go, pulling you into another hug. “Hey, Dan” you laughed, squeezing him tightly. “Holy fuck, I’ve missed you, Y/N...” “I know, Dan. I’ve missed you too” He let you go and grabbed your hand, helping you up the stairs to the stage. The fans began cheering for you and applauding, but you ignored it as you ran to Phil and hugged him tightly. “Missed you, Philly!” You laughed “I’ve missed you too, Y/N...although probably not as much as he has” Phil laughed, letting you go back to Dan’s side. “Wow, guys...this is honestly the best way to end the tour” Phil spoke into the mic, earning a load of cheers. “Sorry for gate crashing” you spoke into Dan’s mic, intertwining your fingers with his as Phil said his goodbye to the audience, “Thank you guys, for making this the greatest tour of a lifetime. We really have loved every single moment of it, and it’s something I know we’ll never forget, and we really hope you guys enjoyed it too” “And thank you so much to everyone who’s helped us make this into such a great success. You have no idea how hard they’ve worked to help us meet all of you. They’re miracle workers! But most of all thank you to you guys! Without you lot, we wouldn’t be here today. Your support means the world to us, and we’re so grateful for everything you guys do for us” Dan added. “Until next time...” Phil began “Goodnight Internet!” The two of them said in union, the audience cheering louder than you’ve ever heard before. Dan pulled you to his side, kissing the top of your head as they both waved. The boys led you off the stage and into the wings. You waited around for Dan and Phil to thank all the tour members and the manager, smiling at them both as they did so. You loved them both so much, and everything they did. Later that night in the hotel room, Dan and Phil dragged all their bags to their room door, clearly exhausted. “I can’t wait to get back to England...” Phil said tiredly as he put the final bag by the door. “Same” Dan smiled, pulling you in for a hug. “I mean, this tour has been the experience of a lifetime, and I’ve loved seeing the world and meeting everyone, but I’m exhausted!” “I can’t possibly think why” you retorted, laughing slightly at Phil’s rambling. “I propose a consecutive lazy week of pj’s, takeouts and mario kart” Dan piped up, laughing at the way Phil’s face lit up. “Yes PLEASE!” He cried. The three of you were caught off guard when there were three knocks at the door. “Here to collect the bags for Lester and Howell?” “Ah yes. It’s all these” Phil pointed to the pile of suitcases and bags, noticing the terrified expression on the staff member’s face, “uhh...I’ll help” Phil smiled and began picking up the bags with the staff member. Dan laughed as Phil tried to begin a conversation with the staff member, sighing contently. “You ok?” “Better than ever” he smiled, kissing your forehead. “I propose two consecutive days of staying in bed and sleeping and watching Netflix and eating crap and-“ “Yes please!” Dan groaned jokingly, pulling you in for a kiss. “I’ve missed you like crazy, Daniel” you mumbled as you pulled away from him. “I know” he smiled, “Come on. Let’s go home”

[49scribes-a]

Starters From Shit Said In Gaming Streams:

Some NSFW and potentially triggering content

“Yeah sometimes those big zombies just don't take the hint and then half their bodies come after me.”

“Stop throwing up zombies. Its unsanitary.”

“Thigh highs fit for any _____.”

“BARREL ROLL.”

“Stop keeping quotes about the shit I say when I'm _________.”

“OH, RAPID FIRE. RAPID FIRE. LOOK AT THAT.”

“...whatever the fuck that shit is.”

*sarcastically* “Oh nooo... an ambush. Like, whatever will I do.”

“Y'know I would've fallen from whatever height that was and I would've gotten up.”

“OYNO. Where is it? KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT.”

“Ew it popped.”

“____lord disapproves.”

“Rocking that [name]licious scarf.”

“SHIT ITS BOY/GIRLFRIEND IS COMING.”

“Oh, shit, that's a lot.”

“Of course half of them had to live.”

“Oh did you die finally? Thanks for the money! Even if you only had ___.”

“You made people suffer enough when you were alive. Can't you, y'know, give it a rest?”

“I'm little red riding hood~”

" 'Just got [name]'d'. WOW. You really gonna go there?”

“Already went there.”

“Okay I'm bored. I'm gonna leave it. I'm gonna leave it alone.”

“Op she's vomitting zombies.”

“Deeeeaaaaaath.”

“[name]licious used Swift! Its super effective!”

“Please stop.”

“Whoa that star kinda freaked out.”

“Pop goes the zombubble.”

“Y'know whenever people say [ran him through with a sword] I think of someone like literally running and PLUNGING their sword through someone.”

“If ur sword-running game ain't as strong as Season 2 Suzaku's y'ain't doin it right.”

“We don't talk about that ending. That still hurts me.”

“OF COURSE WE DO. You know what we REALLY don't talk about?"

“WE DON’T TALK ABOUT _____.”

“The goat people!!! And the trees...”

“We've got demonic goat people, I think some frogs... yep, definitely a frog.”

“This house is on fire but it wasn't me.”

“Ooooo legendary shoulders.”

“Oh great, they explode.”

“Biiiirb. Birb birb birb birb. Caw caw motherclucker. BIIIIIRB.”

“I'm going to name this bird ______, and it will be the best ______.”

“Did you just name that ____ after [name]?”

“[name]licious and [name]. Nice(tm).”

“You could've lived if you just stayed still like a good tree.”

“Swift Game Intensifies.”

“Cat Fight!”

“Long time no dick shot.”

"[NAME] YOU ARE BANNED.”

“Holy shit that was a trip.”

“The sweet sound of projectile evisceration.”

“Anybody alive on this side? Okay good I don't need that kind of drama in my life.”

“I COULDN'T STOP PUNCHING HIM.”

“Story of my life.”

“I love how you got literally blown away.”

“Fuck your _____-- SHIT, FUCK--”

“We forgot to start a swear count.”

“Explode, explode, explode-- yyeeaaaaa.”

“I HATE LIFE WHAT IS THAT HOW DID I MISS”

“RIPPERONI SWISS CHEESE”

“Don't you give me your patronizing pats I don't need them.”

“See if I ever give you sympathy pats again.”

“I'm still keeping quotes just fyi.”

“Fucking gasp.”

“BLOWUP BLOWUP BLOWUP BLOWUP.”

“STOP TAKING QUOTES, [NAME] oh my god--”

“I need to take that guy over there with that freaking shotgun Hell nya.”

“YOINK.”

“Eeeeew he ragdolled...”

“Uuuh what did you guys see-- actually nope no I take it back I don't wanna know I don't wanna know what you guys saw.”

“2 much swear 4 utube.”

“I... read that as [do you know how many brain dead dick heads I've hung in my life] and I was like... since when did you kill people?”

“If I killed people you would know because I wouldn't be able to keep my disgusting disection pictures to my fucking self.”

"[CHECK OUT THIS ORGAN LOOK HOW WEIRD IT IS].”

“I was going to laugh if you pole-vaulted to your doom.”

“Well, no, you can swing across. Me? I'm gonna get fUCKED.”

“HIS LEG WORK.”

“I'M IN ATUAL TEARS.”

“I'm like... expecting something to blow up at this poi-- aaand there it is.”

“I don't know what you're reaching for cuz God ain't gonna help you.”

“Wouldn't it be funny if he hit the window and he just... didn't go through it. Just hit the window with a loud THUNK like a bird hitting glass.”

“That rocket launcher is gonna become my best friend.”

“YOU STILL FUCKING SURVIVED THAT SHIT? YOU TOOK IT TO THE /FACE/.”

“Fuck off, I don't want what you're selling-- I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.”

“Fuck your turret gun.”

“Fuck it.”

“YEAA-- NOOOOO.”

“How did that not just shove his nose into his skull?”

“I wouldn't have gotten back up, I would've been down. I would've probably been knocked out or... winded... and crying.”

“Yea fuck you _______ I don't like you either.”

“Her name is _____ lady and _____ lady it shall stay.”

“I can't wait to-- Oh look another fucking _______.”

“MAN, HE TWIRLLLED.”

“When I die, I want to ragdoll.”

“Why ragdoll like an Uncharted NPC when you can ragdoll like a Skyrim character leaping off the top of the Throat of the World on the back of a horse.”

“The music is so nice when you don't pay attention to the destruction around you.”

“I want to glitch through the ground, stretching for miles across the land while twitching enough to unnerve the most bad ass fucker before flipping off into space like a goddamn hyper speed rubber band.”

“You want the weirdest things...”

“But they are simple things.”

“How is her makeup still straight. Eye liner still on point.”

“HEY LOOK ITS YOU-- I'm just kidding.”

“You hurt my feelings, that IS totally me.”

“Worship me and my big blue ball.”

“Oh that werewolf fucker. Fucking closet furry.”

“Manicure my _____ nails.”

“I know, I have to fix your ass because all your shit is where its not supposed to be.”

“WELL ITS NOT FUN IF I MAKE IT EASY.”

“DO U THINK I WANT PEOPLE IN HERE TOUCHING ALL MY SECRET SHIT.”

“I GOT PORN MAGS IN HERE.”

“You know I just kinda realized how weird of a pose that is.”

“Tbh -- its taking a huge shit.”

“For some reason I forgot the water drains and thought the statue's loin cloth lifts to reveal a doorway between its legs.”

“God damn it, tired of your bullshit. Have to keep fixing your stuff. Keep fixing your ______...”

“This isn't a dagger. Its a _____. But I'd still stab someone with it.”

*Opens my chastity belt.*

“You know its actually kinda romantic down here---no its not.”

“I transcended the ban like a boss.”

“YOU'RE STILL BANNED, [NAME].”

“GET VORED BY THE STATUE.”

“WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS.”

“I really hope I get that job so I can buy that shirt that says [_______] I've been wanting.”

“No, the part with the ice caves, before you meet Furry McFuckgoat.”

“While that is a very metal fucking way to die -- it also seems extremely uncomfortable.”

“I was surprised there wasn't anything supernatural... or weird. I mean besides the exploding mummies.”

“WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE GOLEM POSERS.”

“What a dick! Making me throw that grenade without meaning to!”

“You know I just shot him... a clip full... in the dick. I didn't mean to but... it happened.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Have a grenade.”

“Yeah you're not allowed up here. You have a ______. We don't serve your kind here.”

“New user -- who dis”

“I might regret this decision later.”

“[Name], please, stop playing peek-a-boo.”

“That dead guy just... waves goodbye as he ragdolls.”

“I HAVE REGRETS.”

“You know what, just as well. I have regrets. I didn't mean to throw that grenade.”

“PANICKING. PANICKING.”

“THINK YOU'RE FUCKING FANCY WITH YOUR ROLLING?”

“Okay that guy was defying gravity for a while there, that was kinda weird.”

“YOU'RE NOT FANCY-- Oh my god he twirled.”

“I FOUND WHAT I WANT.” *runs*

“REGRETS. Aaaah, regrets. A lot of regrets.”

“That death twitch... as seen on Twitch TV.”

“Little man, compensating much.”

“Right in the Shnoz.”

“ZIG ZAG, ZIG ZAG.”

“I DON'T THINK ZIG ZAG WORKS WITH MILITARY RPGS.”

“Make-up still on point. Hair still flawless.”

“LAMINATE YOUR FUCKING MAP. ITS RAINING. IS THAT MAP EVEN RELIABLE AT THIS POINT.”

“Where would you laminate a map in ______? What do you think there's a Kinkos around the corner?

“GOD IDK, BUT PUT IT IN SOMETHING MORE WATERPROOF THAN YOUR ASS POCKET.”

“Oh man that is the best twirl I have ever seen.”

“Fab. He practiced.”

“I just had to process Impressed because I heard it as Imp Breasts.”

“Drama queen. Fucking clutching his chest to die. Just ragdoll like everyone else.”

“Hey, what has more brains than the gunmen right now? The wall behind them.”

"[that didn't attract too much attention] YOU RAN A TRAIN THROUGH A BUILDING.”

“I am just a soggy man.”

“I have water logged fingers.”

“Yeah. YEAH. I forgot about these actually. Ah... ha ha... I forgot about these...” *cries*

“Her tits are always bigger from the side. The fuck is with that. They never the same size either. Watch. Watch them titties grow.”

“All Aboard the Pain Train.”

“Push your ass off the train-- BYE.”

“REALLY. YOU-- who has the strength of a shit ton of fucking monkeys... can't kick that through?”

“My heart just did A Thing at being called [they].”

“I never actually see the scenery on this train because I'm always dying.”

“BANE OF MY EXISTENCE RIGHT HERE. Guess my streak of Not Dying is gonna end right here.”

“AAH I ALMOST DIED-- I almost died there too.”

“SPLAT.”

“Railroaded.”

“Oh, I'm gonna have to fight a big guy. I really-- please don't make me fight a big guy.”

“Damn he thicc.”

“Here, its a present~” *throws a grenade*

“I think they want a receipt for their present so they can return it.”

“Bye-- I think that was a dick shot.”

“I love the sound of glass breaking.”

“I missed...” *tsk* “That's a problem.”

“Hey. For stress relief, fling yourself. Right there. To the left.”

“LAAAAAAAAUNCH.”

“Just fucking launch into oblivion for stress relief.”

“I just ate someone else’s half eaten burger like the trash goblin I am.”

“I am both mildly disgusted with myself and yet satisfied because it was a good burger.”

“Oblivion is to the left. Just launch into it. Embrace it. Fly like the majestic fucking eagle you are.”

*singing* “Life... hates me. I hate life.”

“Did he just die crab walking.”

“Died doing what he loved. Being a crab. Snip snap.”

“Am I the only one here who sees perfect opportunities to fling myself off a cliff and actually does it?”

*whimpers* “WELLIguessitwasallfornothingbecausenowIhavetodiebecausethisasshole--”

“That's the sound of when you get your ass shredded.”

“Good lord--”

“Shredded Wheat [name]s.”

“I hope if I ever die by gun, its to one of those. I wanna look and feel like swiss cheese.”

“You gonna one-punch fuck me like jason borne?”

“ONE PAAAUUUUUUUUNCH.”

“FUCK I got stuck in the wall...”

“HOW THICK THAT DUDES ARMS ARE.”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME I was trying to get away from you.”

“That cat is looking at me like [Why are you yelling so much?]”

“Man you eat more bullets than dogs in Resident Evil.”

“Fuck my life, Terminator.”

“That's not his liver...”

“That's totally his liver.”

“Well that's what you get for not paying for your train ticket.”

“Train stops here.”

“Guess they got... sidetracked.”

“You could say he's got a one-track mind.”

“You could say its been derailed.”

“I don't think this is the best train of thought for this situation.”

"I think I can, I think I can...”

“YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE, SNEAKING UP ON ME LIKE THAT.”

“I hope I took them out wiTH MY DEATH.”

“Fucking gave him a sliding icy nut shot.”

“Packed some powder onto those donut holes.”

“I didn't say I was coming naked to this place.”

“Just barrel roll over a fucking corpse it coo'l.”

“Where do these fuckers get grenades at like... they need to shove their grenades up their ass.”

“I don't know what the fuck you think you saw but it wasn't me.”

*Hands you voreos*

“Get out of here with your voreos.”

[kipsyq]

Talking about the worlds of KH3

I wanted to share some of my thoughts on Kingdom Hearts 3.  I’ll keep it as spoiler free as possible, but if you don’t know what Disney worlds show up in this game, ignore this post because I’ll be talking about most of them.   

So here we go!

Olympus (Not Olympus Coliseum).  I liked this world.  It was a good world to start with and had a lot of hype in it.  I was always wondering if this world existed in just a colosseum and people magically appeared to see the competitions, but apparently not.  No, there’s two cities AND Olympus too!  The world expanded so much and I liked it.  Also they finally addressed the movie’s plot, which was nice.  Also, I loved how Sora broke the fourth wall at the beginning, asking where the usual fan fare was, since there wasn’t one this time.  Plus it was so full of twists, like characters actually talking over text boxes!  The acting was....a little off.  And sadly we don’t hear Phil talk, which is okay because his model looked horrific.

Twilight Town: Boy does this town look as beautiful as ever.  The music is great and it’s full of people!  ACTUAL PEOPLE WHAT.  Everywhere you go, there’s someone talking and it feels alive.  Also, if you happen to find the outdoor theatre and watch the movie, you hear some hilarious reactions from Donald, Goofy and Sora.  They don’t mention how it’s a movie about Sora and Mickey, but it’s still cute.  Also Remmy!!!  I loved Ratatouille!  It’s a shame they don’t call him by his real name, but in reality, how would you know what his name is if he can’t speak to anyone else other than mice?  I also loved the story here.  Later on, a certain three characters become one of my favorite things about this game.

Toy Story:  The hyped out world we’ve known about since the beginning!  Was it good?  It definitely was.  The story was great and I loved watching the interactions between Woody and Sora.  Woody and Buzz also have this strong friendship with each other that feels so genuine.  I loved the story and the minute you enter the world, you’re faced with something both epic and out of nowhere.  Not saying what it is, but it made me think that Square Enix was doing a commercial in the middle of the game.  It’s a huge world though and I got lost a lot.  I did like the different places we went to and some of the mini games were fun.  Not to mention, Woody is now best toy.  FIGHT ME.

Tangled: How the absolute HECK did they get that animation so close to the original?!  I’m dead serious, they nearly REPLICATED the animation, but you can definitely tell it was redone for the game.  It’s so impressive to see every major moment of this movie get great treatment.  I love how much they stress how innocent of a character Rapunzel is.  She’ll divert the journey a few times to catch birds or play in the water with Sora, which is freaking CUTE.  Yeah, sure some moments are skipped because reasons, but it was still fun.  This world showed me how sweet and adorable Sora can be and I genuinely cared about everyone.  Also, this world introduced some of the most dramatic cutscenes ever and interactions between Sora and a certain person we all hate.  One of them at least.  The boss fight was also epic as heck and had a really cool design.  If you read the description of the boss, it actually makes a ton of sense why it was designed that way.  There were also moments I just imagined Sora walking in on with no clue what the heck he missed.  Also the dancing mini game was so fun and filled me with so much happiness because Sora is actually a pretty good dancer.  And also watching him, Donald, and Goofy spectate some of the bigger scenes made things feel more genuine.  There’s this one scene of them watching the lanterns fly that looked so beautiful, I screenshotted it and am considering making it my background.  It was beautiful.  Everything was beautiful.

Monster’s Inc:  Would you believe me if I told you they made a unique story for this world?  It’s actually a sequel to the first movie!  Not the prequel, but a sequel.  I LOVED THAT.  Sully and Mike were so cute with Boo.  They constantly show their love and affection for her and how much they genuinely care about her.  They also make use of the “laugh power” thing that actually gives us hilarious moments between Sully, Mike, and the three.  I love to see goofiness in this game.  The world was okay.  I wasn’t particularly a fan of the mechanics and gameplay of the world, but the story was fun enough to continue through.  And the biggest surprise I saw was that we were fighting unversed.  I didn’t expect to see those come back.  The ending cutscenes were almost as suspenseful as the previous world’s which BLEW MY MIND.  So much exposition dumped on poor Sora and then we have DOORCEPTION.  You’d understand if you saw the cutscene.

Frozen: I’m both impressed and disappointed with this world.  On one hand, the interactions are nice.  I liked how Sora interacting with Elsa added more to the pain you feel when she tries to push them away.  I felt that in the movie, but more here.  The world was beautiful, but kind of bland because snow was everywhere.  Sora turning from islander to snow lover to snow hater was hilarious.  Kind of a spoiler, they get knocked off the mountain a couple times, and Sora is literally tired of it.  This world showed me how flexible Haley Joel Osment is with his voice.  Also, remember when people were speculating this world would be like the Ariel worlds with singing segments and were fearful it would be just as bad.  Well they were partially right.  Did you really think Disney wouldn’t try to find a way to incorporate two of their most popular songs into a Frozen world?  Don’t worry, Sora doesn’t sing at all but he’s in the scene.  And actually, the songs fit into the narrative and weren’t just put there because it’s Frozen.  They showed Sora and his friends what kind of situation he’s dealing with.  Also the animation, like the Tangled world, was almost EXACTLY LIKE THE ORIGINAL.  I’m convinced the song Elsa sang was the same version from the movie, not altered or redone, but it’s still nice.  But what was I disappointed by?  Well, we hardly see Anna or Cristoph and Hans isn’t even relevant enough to get a scene.  I’m dead serious, even the game sees him as unimportant.  He just takes Elsa like he does in the movie and is revealed to be covered in darkness.  That’s it.  They also don’t explain why Elsa was taken down the mountain by Hans or Anna, who was left with Hans, was suddenly not healed.  If you never watched the movie, you’d be confused.  Also, the world just...ends.  No big ending or goodbye like in the other worlds.  That was kind of strange to me and it left me kind of confused.  But the world’s keyblade is great.  One of my favorite weapons.

Pirates of the Caribbean: I didn’t watch the movie, so I had to talk to my friend to kind of get clarification.  Actually though, if I had just waited, I would have gotten an explanation.  The only thing I’m left confused by is what the heck the white crabs are.  Don’t ask.  I loved the art style of this whole world.  Sora almost fit in entirely with the regular people and Donald and Goofy’s color palettes were so pleasant for the world.  It does lead to some funny moments though, like a group of regular people in a cutscene and Goofy standing just kind of on the edge of it.  It’s so surreal, but at the same time very refreshing! At first, the world irritated the heck out of me.  The flying segment was tedious and swimming was kind of annoying, especially since we had to do a fight underwater.  I don’t think it’s like the KH1 Ariel world, but it’s still kind of irritating.  But after that, SHIP BATTLES.  Oh boy, those were fun.  A little annoying, but fun.  I also loved watching Sora drive a ship like a teenager just beginning to drive his own car for the first time.  It’s surreal but also fun.  Also Sora is having a ton of fun in this world, more than before.  You can tell how excited he is to be a pirate and I love it.  Also is Sora a blitzball player?  He has the lungs of one because he never needs to breathe underwater.  One thing I did know about the story was the big whirlpool scene.  I wasn’t very good at that ship battle because you’re micromanaging three things at once: keeping your own ship safe, keeping someone else’s ship safe, and defeating the giant boss in the center.  Then the other boss comes and he’s not that hard to defeat, but can be at times because he almost blends in with the world.  I loved the story and the ENDING OF THIS WORLD.  Holy CRUD THIS LAST SCENE.  It’s the fight between Jack and another guy.  It seemed so fluid, well animated, designed, and scripted.  Even Sora looked like he belonged in this entire scene.  There was one moment, that I won’t spoil, that shocked me entirely.  Sora did something that made my jaw drop and it was probably the most emotional and epic thing I’ve ever seen this character do.  Like literally Sora, THE HECK.  It was also a very satisfying ending that left me happy to end this world.

Big Hero 6:  I’m still on this world, I just started it, but so far it looks great.  Sora is even more hilarious.  He had a moment when he saw all these cars and the giant bridge and freaked out about how cool and techy it was.  He even wanted to call Riku to tell him how cool it was, even though they had just gotten there.  And then the scene where he puts on an AR visor and thinks he sees a heartless was akin to a woman seeing a bug and freaking out trying to get someone to kill it.  I died laughing.  I’m already excited to see more of this world.

And that’s it for now.  

[abiteofnat]

2019 COME AT THE BUTTON ON MY HIGH-WAISTED JEANS

Because by the end of this week, I had eaten enough to question the strength of the stitches holding my pants together. 

This year has started off with some of the best meals a grandma shark could hope for, from steakhouses to creative cocktails, it’s all been wonderful. I still have not mastered the art of breakfast, or bringing lunch to work, or how to avoid being hangry all eight hours of work due to not fixing either of those aspects... but maybe 2020 can be the year I figure that out! The good thing about forgetting to eat the entire length of a workday is that by the time it ends, I’m ravenous and ready to CHOW DOWN on some GOOD SNACKS. And by snack I mean a three course meal. 

So, without further ado, here are the meals I’ve eaten so far in 2019. 1 week, lots of empty plates, no shortage of flavors. It’s been grand. 

(Sort Of Meal 1, Actually Last Meal Of 2018): RPM Steak

For NYE Eric and I wanted to paint the town red with the blood of a well-cooked steak for him and a bottle of Merlot for me, so we went to RPM Steak for JUST THAT! I’m pretty sure we’ve been to every steakhouse in Chicago in the past year which is pretty incredible/terrifying on its own, however we hadn’t been to RPM and when’s a better time to blow some coin on five pounds of potatoes than NYE? I had mild expectations but they were all blown out of the water, as each course got better and better. We started with the camembert fondue, which was fucking dazzling to see, smell, and taste. From the piles of toasted bread coated in melted butter, to the cast-iron skillet holding a whole wheel of camembert topped with shaved truffles, it was a sight to behold. While truffle and melted soft cheese can be an overwhelming combo, it worked beautifully together and made for a decadent yet not too filling appetizer, and left me wanting much more (while not feeling ripped off for the price). 

Next up, I got a caesar salad for my main and it came complete with a deviled egg on the side, which was a wonderful surprise and as far as such a simple salad can go it was quite delicious. Eric got a bison steak, no comment on that since I did NOT try it, and then we also got blue cheese whipped potatoes and the “Millionaire Potato.” OOOOO BOY. THOSE POTATOES. The blue cheese whipped potatoes were easily my favorite thing we ate, because they had the perfect texture, right amount of blue cheese, a sprinkle of fresh pepper, and add some steak salt? Goodbye, you just died of joy. The Millionaire Potato was a twice-baked potato that had more black truffle, butter, and fontina cheese. It was heaven, and I wish I had another right now. The best bang for our buck was the side of onion rings for $8, and it was truly a huge bowl of onion rings and some dipping sauces that provided a nice crunch to break up the soft, rich foods. 

To finish off, Eric told the waiter it was our one-year anniversary (which is true one month from now, yeehaw!) and so we were treated with a rich dark-chocolate cake topped with flakes of gold and ganache. It was so incredibly dense and chocolatey and with a sip of red wine after each bite, 10/10 dessert. I would go back for a glass of wine and that cake after a long day in the future. 

Overall, it was an absolutely perfect last meal of 2018 and I got to spend three hours enjoying dinner with my love. Good stuff, good year, GOOD CAKE. 

Meal 1: Tweet

I’ve blogged about this brunch hotspot before, but it deserves another spot for being my first meal of a new year THREE YEARS IN A ROW. YEP. I order the same thing every time, and it never ever gets old- the vegan chorizo tacos, with a side of hash browns, and a side of hollandaise sauce (for the hash browns, OF COURSE). Can’t miss out on the spice cake appetizer that they bring without a minute to waste, and their iced coffee that includes one full glass and a whole carafe to keep on fillin’ up! Go to Tweet, plan on waiting a hot minute for a table, and enjoy the wild hot mess of perfection that it is. 

Note: It’s cash only, so get cash or be sad! And it’s incredibly gluten free/vegetarian/vegan friendly, hooray! 

Meal 2: Flight Club Darts USA

Skipping a few days ahead now, but no one cares about pizza and Whole Foods sushi, which is what I ate. So now we’re at Friday, the first Friday night of the new year! Hot stuff! Somehow I lucked out and was offered a full dining + playing experience at Flight Club Darts USA in Chicago, so after work Eric and I met in the charismatic yet impossibly “cool” dining area on the first floor and took a cozy table in the corner by the window, letting us watch the full bar and dart oches fill up with happy hour kids blowing off some steam like us. With a scotch on the rocks for him and The Butterfly cocktail for me, we ordered almost one of everything on the menu and ended up with quite the spread. I got the Spaghetti with lump crab, breadcrumbs, butter and citrus, and for sides we got the fries, green bean fries with a sweet & sour dipping sauce, and the mini tuna poke tacos. The green bean fries are for sure my favorite pick from the whole menu, as they’re perfectly crisp on the outside but still juicy on their green bean inside, and the fries are a close second with their cheese and seasonings. The spaghetti was rich and cooked a lovely al dente, and with a cocktail made of vodka & grapefruit juice I was in tastebud paradise! MY DRINK LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE THE COCKTAIL EMOJI! 

After dinner, we headed upstairs to where it’s darts central and where there’s a second bar much more populated with dates, groups of friends, families enjoying a game night, and every other group you can think of. When they say it’s “social darts,” they’re not kidding!! We got our own dart board and played nearly every single game available, and it was very relaxing to hurt real metal darts at a cork board after one heck of a day at work. Eric was scared, I was empowered, he won anyway but I had a GREAT TIME. 

This place is an awesome pick if you’re looking to meet friends for drinks after work, have dinner with work friends, or bring family to entertain them for an night when they’re in town. And you get great views of the city! 

Thank you again to Flight Club for letting us enjoy for the night, we had a great time and I will certainly be back for more dart therapy. 

Meal 3: Eataly

Ok I know this one isn’t revolutionary, because who hasn’t eaten at Eataly? I frequent this place and every time it’s just so freakin’ good. Their thing is authentic Italian food, and they really nail it with their homemade pasta, fresh sauces, expansive wine list, and sea salt ciabatta to dip into multi-dimensional olive oil. But, this meal had to do with my last post of 2018- about truly being in the moment and enjoying time with loved ones. Since my sister is home from college for break, she’s been going to all her favorite spots and this was one yet to be crossed off. We’re both bananas for the Cacio e Pepe- al dente spaghetti tossed with cheese, salt, and pepper. It’s perfect. So I told my family to meet me downtown on Saturday night and have a family dinner at Eataly, to cross the pasta off Elise’s group and family time off my life. We had wine, talked about our week, and I felt so happy to get to do that with them. Eataly is somewhere we’ve gone a lot as a family, and it always just feels like home when we’re there. With a gelato sundae to finish off, we left very full and ready for a sleep! 

Pictured: Cacio e Pepe, the squid ink pasta, truffle pizza, chocolate and hazelnut gelato. 

Meal 4: Replay Andersonville

Brunch. Nachos. Lemon Raspberry Ricotta Pancakes. Mimosas for $5.50. Skillets. Free arcade games. Lots of TVs for football. That’s all you need to know; this place is IDEAL for brunch and is my new go-to. Even on football Sunday it wasn’t that busy but still full and the food blew me away for being a bar. Eat, drink, play some old school arcade games, leave feeling revived and young again. I LOVE BRUNCH. 

Anyway, that’s pretty much it for this week! 2019 has not been kind to my wallet but I’ve already eaten so much good food and I can’t wait to keep the ball rolling! Fork in hand, I am ready. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[deathevader9000]

Positive Journal 

1.5.2020

<3 GOdDFSLKJGLSDKJHSDKHFGDJLKSF

MY PARTNER WAS IN TOWN @flwrb0ys. 

Woke up super early and traveled to their air-b-n-b just outside of san francisco. 

Honestly i love how we didnt even say anything for a bit and just kissed each other and laid with each other and just.. rested and took each other in. 

napped a bit with them because we were both super tired and had been up super early (and I had driven into the city). 

“you look like a princess”

THEY GOT ME SOME SWEET GIFTS. Some hand creams, a matching pin set, and another gorgeous pin that reads “still growing”

we all got breakfast at this amazing cafe. i had a yummy omelette, toast, and fruit

morning smooches x coffee really made my day 

just cuddling their hand really made my day 

we then headed into the city. dropped Oli off at the tattoo place for their appointment. 

we headed to the giant daiso because. why not. 

bought a cute happy new year banner. yeet. 

also got some yummy matcha green tea. 

we stopped by for some coffee prior to the aquarium. I had a very yummy mango/yogurt parfait with coconut chips <3

swooped by for oli, headed to the aquarium! Honestly seeing thu light up at all the fish and things was the highlight.

i love jellyfish man

we saw so many sharks! and some cute ass otters. 

took gay pictures everywhere and had a great time

i bought some cute octopus earrings! ?!?!? 

also bought julian a plush octopus as a surprise gift

afterwards we walked around the pier. 

thu bought me some cute alcatraz handcuffs that were pink??? dlkfjaslfjsadf

i bought them a kitchy crab magnet because theyre a cancer

danced to live jazz music with my honey <3

grabbed dinner at the pier. went to wiped out. SHOUTOUT TO OUR WAITER MAURICE AND FOR BEING THE MVP! 

fat tip for maurice

bomb ass tacos, rice, and beans <3

then it was the drive back and unfortunately goodbye. was able to kiss my baby goodnight and drive home listening to the playlist we made for each other. i miss them already but im so grateful i got to spend a whole day with them. <3

[aliciaspassport]

koalas & cape tribulation

today was our first day not being on tour.. it didn’t feel too different though because about half of the tour was still in Carins. Hari got his own hotel (with a Jacuzzi - he never let us forget) and so did Emily & Jack. Other wise Georgia, Maria, Andy, and Sara all stayed in the hostel a few more days. We had to switch room though, D & I ended up going to the room that was across from our previous one. It sucked because we had to check out and bring our luggage downstairs and then recheck in later, only to have moved it across the hall. At least, we had it all to ourselves. However, we did wonder if any randoms would join us. Unfortunately, it stunk so bad from whatever mysterious stains roamed the carpets. While the others had moved down the hall. 

Kat said her favourite place was Cape Tribulation, and since we were near we obviously took advantage. Because they drive on the other side of the road, D and I booked a day tour. So up in the early morning we did once again, luckily we were used to it. the bus picked us up in front of our hostel and off we went to Cape Tribulation and the Daintree Forest.

we started our tour with a new tour guide (not Kat).. i don’t remember his name but he made a lot of weird animal noises and was knowledgable about them as well. he did nature photography. the tour guide talked a lot but i think D and I just tuned him out for most of it.. oops. our morning started off on a coastal drive along the great barrier reef via the Captain Cook highway. we had the entire back row so, BONUS. the guide pointed out some crocs on the way, and we even turned the bus around to get a better look. This ones name was scarface or something, all the local crocs had names. he also pointed out the island which Steve Irwin died near - also only two people in the world have been killed by a stingray.. our first official stop of the day was literally just to break up the drive. It was a quick one hour stop at the Port Douglas Wildlife Habitat. It was a nice little walk around, the animals just kind of roamed freely but the best part was that we got to HUG A KOALA. OUR WHOLE TRIP HAD COME DOWN TO THIS MOMENT AND WE ALMOST MISSED IT.

Basically, the tour guide said that we could do it between 9:00 & 9:15 so we showed up at 9:15 because we didn’t want to listen to a nature talk, anyway so we show up and they were like are you with X tour and we were like uhhh.. were with this tour?? and they were like oh I think your time has already passed THE WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY WAS CLOSING, but we LIED and said we were with that tour. So, we happily paid out $22 and waited in line with not our tour. The koala’s name was Kodi, and he was adorable. I got to hold him for a whole 30 seconds, my time was extended by a little bit because he grabbed onto my hair. I just wanted to take him home!! Anyway the pictures were taken and the moment passed, but let me tell you IT WAS WORTH IT. D and I were high on life after that animal encounter. After 3x tries, WE HAD FINALLY MADE IT. BUCKET LIST SUCCESS. Anyway, after that we fed some kangaroos and wallabies.. they had already been fed by others so they weren’t very hungry.. even though it was the morning. 

we kept driving until we got to this cable ferry thing.. idk they were talking about it like it was a big deal but it didn’t seem that spectacular. it just crossed the daintree river. we saw some wild Cassowary birds which only live in the Daintree forrest, we saw like 4-5 total, one of which was a dad and two kids. Apparently thats pretty rare so that was neat-o. we had lunch at Beach House, a hostel type place. it was mediocre at best.. not very good at all. I would’ve loved to stay at the hostel though. If only there was more time. After lunch, we walked along the Cape Tribulation boardwalk to the actual Cape (i suppose). We weren’t 100% sure where we were going, the guy just said to go straight and we’d know where we were going..but the walk was lovely. Along the way there tons of little sandballs which were made my little crabs. It was kind of overcast, so it wasn’t pristine weather, but it was still B E A U T I F U L. As I just said I would’ve loved more time to explore where the reef meets the rainforest. 

we then met up with homeboy tour guide and went for a rainforest walk. we learned about trees n stuff. the foliage changed like mid walk, showing the diversity of the tropical rainforest, again pretty neat. we also saw some lizard at the very last second before leaving the forest.  Tour guide was once again stoked as they only live in that area of the world. After a quick google search, it was a boyd’s forest dragon. so far lots of animal encounters today.

It was now time to head back the other way, on the way we stopped at the Alexandra lookout point, which was supposed to overlook Cape Tribulation but it was pretty overcast so it wasn’t the best view.  We also made a pitstop at the Daintree Ice Cream Co. they made like weird fruit flavours, using what they had in their orchard or something. D and I shared a sample cup that had their four daily favours which included coconut, passionfruit, black sapote and waddle seed. t’was a neat little experience. the Tour guide said that his wasn’t something he always did because there wasn’t always time but i defs read it somewhere on the website that icecream was involved. 

after our icecream stop we were en route to see some wild crocs. so we went on this crocodile boat tour down the daintree forrest and since we were on a boat again, you guessed it, IT RAINED. not as bad as the other times and we were covered but STILL! 3/3. it kinda sucked because we saw 0 crocs as the river had risen and it was the end of the day. The guy tried to find a snake, but couldn’t find one of them either. Although he kept manuvering the boat into the bushes to get a closer look, in which i would end up in the trees. overall the crocodile tour was a dud and a waste of time. We only saw a bird, a rare bird but yet a bird. i don’t even think i took a picture of it. 

afterwards, we (finally) embarked on the long journey home. the tour was boring and kind of sucked but there were some highlights that made it worth it. Cape tribulation is definitely somewhere I’d want to explore more when I return to Australia. when we got back, we switched rooms and reunited with our (ex) tour mates. we hung out in the hostel for a bit as everyone got ready and said our final goodbyes to Kat. it was sad for sure, I still miss her a lot. I got her peanut butter as a little goodbye gift (along with a card & tip) because we had many conversations about our love for peanut butter. Also, some point between getting back and saying bye to Kat, I ran into a door which was hilarious - we were so hyper haha. Kat opened the door and was generally concerned for my wellbeing - what a sweetheart. 

After our goodbyes, we headed out to the Night Market for some eats. we also met up with Emily & Jack. We decided on some chinese food. We got a pretty sweet deal, a pretty huge plate for $10. Andy on the other hand continued his bad luck with food and went to a different place where he paid $12 for a much smaller portion. We was our charity case that night as we offered him food. after chatting for awhile and laughing at Andy’s tiny plate, D & I said our final goodbyes to Emily & Jack. Then the rest of us walked back to our hostels. We sat downstairs for a few minutes to use the wifi before saying goodbye to the rest of the group. Damn. now the tour was over and it was just D and I.