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lovelylogans · 5 years ago

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I just came up with just like the worst prompt for a sideshire file: adult, sensible, reasonable Virgil finding out MCR is back and flipping out

the black parade

we’ll carry on, we’ll carry onand though you’re dead and gone, believe meyour memory will carry onwe’ll carry on

-welcome to the black parade, my chemical romance

part of the wyliwf verse.

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, remus mentions, grief mentions, cryptid mentions, emotionally dealing with a deceased parent, let me know if i missed anything!

pairings: logince, moxiety

words: 4,824

notes: how dare you call this absolute gem of a prompt “the worst” also did i schedule this to come out on the day of the concert YES!!! the timeline is kinda hand-wavey on this one, so let’s just say it happens shortly after the main storyline and it makes sense for mcr to announce that news on that date and for it to fit in with the narrative i’m telling here, okay? okay! (the song roman is listening to is “bombastic” by bonnie mckee, and honestly sub in any mcr instrumentals for any song virgil is mentioned to be listening to this oneshot.)

patton first hears about it, surprisingly, from his son.

though logan isn’t quite as in tune (well, patton thinks it’s funny!) with the music scene as the sanders’ significant others—roman with pop and musicals, and virgil with his more eclectic taste—he is, of course, the most in tune with the news.

the mcr reunion certainly qualifies as news.

when patton opens the link his son has texted him, he stares at it for a few seconds, and says aloud, “ah.”

so, virgil is probably going absolutely feral.

back when patton had first gotten to know virgil, his interest in music had been surprising—the diner usually played soft music, jazz or old-timey songs or instrumentals, non-offensive songs that usually everyone could tolerate and talk over without noticing it very much, playlists swapping up so that employees on the same shift wouldn’t want to plug their ears if they ever heard buddy holly again.

now he knows that virgil doesn’t that over into his personal life, and that he mostly plays that music because it’s the kind of music his parents played when they ran the diner. when patton first sees virgil’s music collection, he was surprised, and then he thought about it more and it made sense. why else would he always be listening to music on his headphones, even when it was just the two of them?

now, it’s weird to even think that he’d thought virgil’s taste was ever, well. tame, he supposes. mainstream.

patton checks the time. it’s probably early enough that he can pass this off as a coffee break, and not to check that virgil has passed out in the midst of the diner.

patton’s trying to formulate the best way to ask “so, have you heard the news?” question in case patton is somehow the one to break it to him, but when he walks into the diner and listens to the music for a couple seconds, he doesn’t even need to bother asking. it speaks for itself.

to virgil’s credit, he isn’t blaring the entire mcr discography.

he is, however, blaring instrumental covers of what seems like the entire mcr discography.

or at least, the diner is—virgil’s nowhere in sight. patton just kind of assumes that he’s back in the kitchen, so he goes to sit at the counter, waiting for him to emerge with a tray or a rag, maybe not grinning, except for maybe that soft secretive smile he does sometimes, but probably humming along.

he doesn’t come out for a while—that’s pretty normal, this time of day, it is the early dinner rush—but then patton puts in an order for hot cocoa/coffee.

and he actually gets it. and he can smell that it’s not decaf. which means—

patton leans over the counter, and smiles at jean. “where’s v?”

“kitchen,” jean says.

“and he actually gave me something caffeinated at this time of day? are we sure this is virgil?”

jean laughs. “i guess he’s in a good mood, then.”

patton smiles down at his mug, tracing his pinky around its rim. “guess so.”

patton sips his way through about two-thirds of his mug before virgil emerges from the kitchen, towel swept over his shoulder, a carafe of coffee in each hand. which is mostly normal.

except he’s humming, and grinning, and instead of his usual purple flannel or hoodie, he’s wearing all black. there’s the flash of a band tee underneath the black hoodie he’s got on. patton hides his grin behind his mug.

“oh, hey,” virgil says, snapping out of his haze.

“so i guess i’m not about to break the news to you, huh?” patton teases.

“nah, you’re not,” virgil says, smiling still as he replaces the coffee carafes before he leans on the counter. the other servers, used to this, scoot around him in their quest to deliver food back and forth.

“we could time a visit to chris to go, if you want,” patton says. “since he lives in california.”

virgil looks incredibly tempted, before he says, “let’s think on it?”

patton nods and leans over the counter to kiss virgil on the cheek—a new thing he’s been doing lately, now that they’re dating—virgil ducks his head, flushing, like he does every time. patton can’t help the smile that springs onto his face, every time.

“i’m happy you’re happy about it, darling,” patton says.

“you’re ruining my street cred,” virgil mutters, blushing still.

patton fights his own grin. yeah, virgil’s street cred, his reputation rife with hoisting kids into his arms so they could better see the pastry display, and well-known for opening his door to anyone who had a last-minute stitching or alteration emergency, including a number of teary-eyed brides who’d invite him to their wedding on the spot, regularly slipping extra tips to his workers who were struggling, would definitely be harmed by his boyfriend—partner?—kissing him on the cheek.

what he says instead of any of that is, “you’re marathoning punk rock in the diner right now, honey, i don’t think your rep’s gonna get harmed from anything i do.”

virgil tilts his head, acknowledging this point. “you sticking around for dinner?”

“should be,” patton says. “i’ll text logan that i’m here.”

“mkay,” virgil says, and digs around in his pocket, fishing out his notepad and pen with a flourish. “wanna order now or later?”

patton probably shouldn’t use virgil’s good mood for his own benefit. he really, really shouldn’t. but he’s got a real craving, so…

“refill of hot cocoa/coffee, cheeseburger, fries?” patton tries, keeping his voice extra blasé.

a soft hum of acknowledgement as virgil scrawls it all down, and says, “cheddar cheese, right, or do you want colby jack?”

patton smiles. “cheddar cheese, please. oh, and some french silk pie?”

virgil tilts his head at patton with a look, fond and irked, and patton gives him a sheepish grin.

virgil sighs. “and french silk pie,” he grumbles, adding it on, and patton nearly crows with victory. he loses that battle when he can’t contain a soft “ha!” as virgil tops off his mug.

virgil rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile clinging around the edges of his mouth as he disappears back into the kitchen.

patton digs out his phone. get to virgil’s he’s just given me junk food AND caffeine AND a dessert!!!!!!!!!

He added vegetables, surely?

NONE!!!!!!!!!!!

a pause. I’ll be there shortly.

patton grins and tucks his phone back into his pocket. even if logan was better with nutrition than he was, logan was still weak for a good, artery-clogging meal once in a while. virgil handing them out on a silver platter? a rarity that practically demanded to be taken advantage of.

when his phone buzzes, and the bell jangles, patton turns to see logan and roman filing into the diner. patton picks up his mug of hot cocoa/coffee, and heads back to join roman and logan in a booth, sitting across from them.

“hi, roman,” patton says.

“i heard virgil is handing out junk food like it’s candy,” roman says excitedly. “i want to see if i can talk him into giving me endless soda refills, for once.”

“he’s refilled my hot cocoa/coffee,” patton says, gleeful. “my caffeinated hot cocoa/coffee.”

“chances are good!” roman practically cheers. “i wanna get, ooh, um—um, breakfast for dinner! like a platter of breakfast for dinner!”

“it’s worth a shot,” patton says. “logan?”

“me too,” logan decides. “i want pancakes.”

“trade you bites of french toast for bites of pancake?”

“deal.”

roman and logan fall into discussing the latest happenings around the town—stories about the little kids in dance classes, the latest courant goofs, the hottest pieces of old-lady gossip—and by the time virgil re-emerges from the kitchen, patton gets to watch him blink, bemused and a little startled, at the absence of patton at the counter.

biting back a giggle, patton leans out of the booth so virgil can see him more clearly, and virgil nods, maybe saying “ahhh” under his breath, and emerges from behind the counter.

“hey, what can i get—“

a moment, a brief moment, one that patton isn’t sure that roman or logan even notice—when they both turn, roman grinning and logan… looking polite, at least—virgil falters, eyes widening, and he swallows, eyes flashing with… something. and then—

“—you two?”

“hot cocoa/coffee and a stack of pancakes,” logan says, looking at virgil sidelong, and virgil nods, eyes wide and… strangely attentive? not that virgil isn’t usually attentive, it’s just that virgil looks like… well, virgil looks like something’s struck him and he’s realized Something and he’s paying even closer attention. or something.

“how many?”

“um,” logan says, and glances at patton, who mouths go for it so logan says, “five?”

“five pancakes, hot cocoa/coffee, got it,” virgil says, absent, and then he swallows again. “roman?” he says gruffly.

“i want the breakfast combo with bacon, and french toast, and waffles, and hashbrowns, and instead of the regular toast side thing can i do biscuits and gravy?”

“bacon, french toast, waffles, hash browns, biscuits and gravy instead of toast, got it,” virgil says, staring at him still. “drink?”

“cherry coke?”

“yeah, of course,” virgil says, strangely choked, and then he just kind of—does something weird? even by virgil standards. wait, especially by virgil standards.

virgil awkwardly puts a hand on roman’s shoulder, removes it, and then puts it back on his shoulder again, and when roman looks up at him with a bemused kind of smile, virgil leans in, halting and jerking, and then just kind of—hugs him?

it might actually be generous to call it a hug. he sort of wraps roman up in his arms, and his arms just kind of end up circling roman’s head, because he’s standing and roman’s sitting, and roman, bewildered, manages to reach up and pat virgil’s shoulder, and virgil pats roman’s hair in a reciprocal moment of oddness before he lets go of him and says “um, right, okay, i’ll put those orders in and get someone to bring out your drinks” and speedwalks away from any semblance of a lingering awkward moment.

“um,” roman says, and flicks his hand to correct his hair from where virgil mussed it up. “that was… kind of weird? that was weird, right?”

“that was strange,” logan agrees, at the same time patton says, “yep, definitely weird.”

the conversation moves forward slowly, and jean ends up dropping off their drinks (and! giving! patton! a! third!!! refill!) and then jean ends up… bringing out their food, too? with no healthy alterations, which is good. virgil even gives him some ice cream with his pie, so that patton can combine it in a slightly disgusting but very delicious mess.

and by the time the check comes, virgil hasn’t re-emerged from the kitchen. which. okay. it’s dinner rush. sure.

but usually, he at least comes out to say goodbye.

so patton digs out his phone, and sends him a you’re free to drop by the house once you close up! text.

and then he ends up walking home with logan and roman. or, well.

“um,” logan says, when they’re about fifteen feet from the prince’s studio and apartment, “dad?”

“huh?” patton says, distracted, before the look that roman and logan exchange clicks, and the whole “walking someone home” thing clicks, and his own teenage experiences, and he says, “oh! oh, right! right, right, right.”

“dad,” logan groans.

“you wanna get me out of the way so you two can do cute couple-y teenager things, right, i get you,” patton says, grinning still, backing away slowly. “your old man’s still hip, you know.”

“dad.”

“don’t mind me, i’m just gonna,” patton says, grinning still, and waves a hand vaguely. “i’m just gonna stare real closely at the, um, the town decorations over there, and, uh, you can come and tap me on the shoulder when you’re ready to keep walking home, yeah?”

patton turns his back at the same time logan makes a strangled, embarrassed noise, and roman giggles, and he hears logan say “i’m sorry about—that” and roman giggle and say “don’t be. you’re cute when you get all huffy, you know” and then patton’s out of earshot and stares very intently at the wreaths and garlands dotting the town.

his baby has a boyfriend. it’s cute. it’s puppy love. it’s the kind of tooth-achingly sweet first relationship and the subsequent milestones that patton could have ever hoped for his son, even if the concept of “logan” and “dating” were still two very strange concepts to combine. it also provides patton his lifetime quota of “good-natured teasing of my child” that was bestowed upon him the moment he became a dad.

there’s a tap on his shoulder, and he turns to see logan, who’s blushing, just a little bit.

“we really need to coordinate our walks home so this never happens again,” logan grumbles, already walking past him, and patton picks up the pace.

“aw, hon, don’t be embarrassed,” patton says. “it’s perfectly natural to—”

“no,” logan complains, and patton laughs even as he starts to croon, “logan and roman, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s—”

“dad!”

⁂

patton’s humming quietly to himself by the time he hears his front door open, and he smiles.

“hey,” he calls, setting aside the book he’d been reading. well. attempting to read.

stomp, stomp, stomp, virgil clearing his boots of any lingering wetness that might track onto patton’s carpet. the susurrus of virgil taking off his bulky winter coat and tucking it in with the others in the coat closet. a kiss dropped on the top of patton’s head.

“hey,” virgil murmurs, and patton shuffles aside, tugging up his blanket, so that virgil has space to settle in beside patton, as most of the other spaces in the living room are taken up by laundry or books. this way, patton can cuddle him. patton may have plotted a little bit to ensure this development happened.

patton sighs happily as he tosses the blanket over virgil and snuggles into virgil’s side.

“rest of the shift go okay?” he asks, voice soft.

“yeah, it’s fine,” virgil murmurs, adjusting a little so that his arm settles soundly over patton’s shoulders.

“good,” patton murmurs, rests his head on virgil’s shoulder and fights off a yawn. the yawn is afforded a narrow victory. “that’s good.”

“you haven’t been staying up for me, have you?”

“nuh-uh,” patton fibs, and then, “okay, yes, but i got your text and i didn’t wanna be rude by just being asleep when you got here.”

“i wouldn’t have been offended by you being well-rested,” virgil murmurs.

“you’re gonna say that i should—”

“—get ready for bed, yeah,” virgil finishes, sounding amused. “you know, i bet you’re so tired because—”

“don’t say it,” patton complains, even as virgil’s standing and tugging patton to his feet.

“—because of caffeine crash,” virgil finishes triumphantly. “you got way more caffeine than you’re used to this time of day, and—”

patton groans as he stamps up the stairs, even though he’s holding virgil’s hand the whole way, pulling him all the way into his bed.

“stay here,” patton commands. “i’m gonna do what you want.”

“you say that like i’m not just asking you put on your pajamas and brush your teeth,” virgil says, amused, and patton rolls his eyes even as he bends to kiss virgil.

“the next one will be minty-fresh,” patton informs him, before he flounces off to the bathroom. the last thing he sees is virgil sitting on his bed and bending to remove his boots, a smile playing about his lips.

when he comes back, virgil’s tugging on a t-shirt, one he’d left the last time he spent the night, and patton flops happily onto his bed, watching as virgil smooths down the hem. virgil turns, and patton pats the other side of the bed.

“minty-fresh, huh?” virgil asks, as he lifts the covers and slides into place.

patton grins at him. “shameless,” he teases, before he leans in to kiss virgil, and patton can taste that virgil had brushed his teeth, too, probably before he’d even come over, the kiss soft and sleepy, and patton smiles as they pull back.

“love you,” patton says, and presses a kiss to virgil’s shoulder for emphasis.

“i love you too,” virgil says. “lamp off?”

“yeah, sure,” patton says, and virgil leans up. the room’s doused in darkness. patton reaches for virgil and settles his head onto virgil’s chest.

“your shift was really okay, though?” patton asks, shifting in place to get comfy.

“yeah, ‘course,” virgil says, and adjusts slightly himself, settling his hand on patton’s shoulder blade.

“you sure?”

“why wouldn’t i be sure?”

“because,” patton says, “and, no pressure whatever you decide, but you got kinda weird with roman, and i’m wondering if it was just a momentary fluke of weirdness or something that you maybe wanted to talk about.”

virgil freezes. patton feels him tense.

“oh,” virgil says quietly. “that.”

“yeah,” patton says softly, and leans a little so that he can try to see virgil’s face with the slivers of light slanting through his blinds from the half-moon tonight.

virgil chews his lip for a few seconds, before he blurts out, “remus liked mcr.”

oh. roman’s dad.

patton had met him once, one time, if you could even call it meeting—he’d accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation between virgil and remus, and that’s how he’d known that remus was going to become a father. patton had asked virgil about him, after, and virgil had said he was an old friend, promised to introduce patton to him, maybe introduce remus’ kid to logan, once he was out of the womb.

and then he’d died. and virgil hadn’t talked about him very much since.

“yeah?” patton prompts, voice gentle and soft.

“yeah,” virgil says, a little rough, and he clears his throat, squirming a little. “uh—he mostly liked stuff that most people… didn’t really like, i guess. stuff outside of the norm. he had the biggest cd collection of anyone i knew. metal, punk rock, screamo, witch house.” a flicker of a smile. “medieval folk rock.”

“medieval folk rock?” patton says, voice edged in a laugh.

“if it was weird, he liked it,” virgil says. “god, the things he’d play on the radio, sometimes… we’d be going to egg someone’s house or something, and he’d be blaring slavic polka or ectofolk or just—” virgil snorts, “—one time, he just kept playing it’s a small world. for a week. i could’ve strangled him.”

“he sounds like he was funny,” patton offers.

“you’d have to have a very specific sense of humor to find him funny,” virgil says.

“did you?” patton says. “find him funny, i mean.”

“mm. sometimes. some things he said, i thought he was funny. others… others kind of scared me,” virgil says. he clears his throat. “remus didn’t particularly have a filter when it came to gross, taboo ideas, and he wasn’t shy about sharing them. doing them, sometimes. he was voted most likely to go to prison when he graduated from sideshire high.”

patton doesn’t really know what to say to that. so he just says, “ah.”

“i’m not sure if you would have liked each other,” virgil says.

“hey,” patton says, frowning.

“oh, you would have tried,” virgil says. “remus would have seen you were trying. he’d say something as a test, something you’d get uncomfortable with. you’d be polite about it and try to change the subject. but remus probably would have seen that you were uncomfortable with the stuff he said, and he would have delighted in grossing you out even more.”

patton considers this, before he says, “like boys on the playground who chase people with a worm on a stick to get everyone to squeal, or something?”

virgil huffs out a laugh. “sure,” he says. “that’s a good enough way to put it. tame, when it’s applied to remus, but… yeah. that’s the gist of it.”

“so,” patton says. “mcr.”

“and seeing roman, sitting there…” virgil says, and exhales a huge, gusting sigh. “face-wise, he looks so much like his dad.”

“face-wise?”

“remus was taller,” virgil says. “i know roman’s not done growing yet, so they might even out, but—but remus had a longer torso, shorter legs. different ears. remus always had dark under-eye circles. there’s something about the hands, too, i think. he was clumsier. had a less muscular build. remus wasn’t much of a dancer—well, he could lift isadora, but that’s about it, and i think that’s mostly because she’s tiny.”

“got it.”

“plus, i mean, remus was white, and since isadora's mexican, roman clearly isn't white, but—but roman’s face… i mean, slap a mustache on there and a white streak in his hair, and put that plotting look on his face that he gets sometimes, and i don’t think i’d be able to tell them apart.”

“like the plotting look like he had at dinner tonight,” patton realizes quietly.

“yeah,” virgil says, then, again, a little choked up. “yeah.”

patton wiggles closer and hugs virgil tighter.

“you could tell him about him,” patton suggests quietly. “roman about remus, i mean. i bet he’d love to know.”

“maybe,” virgil says. “i spent most of shift thinking about it. i just—you know.”

“miss him?”

“yeah.”

patton isn’t very familiar with grief; his grandparents, barring his granny lorelai, all died either before he was born or when he was a baby. the handful of funerals he went to were for people that he didn’t know very well—relatives he’d seen three times before, old “family friends” that his parents had fallen out of touch with, a couple business partners of his father’s—and so the only part he’s familiar with is this part. the comforting part.

“i’m sorry,” patton says quietly. “is there anything i can do?”

virgil let out a shaky exhale, and his grip tightens. “this is good.”

“okay,” patton says, and holds him tighter. “okay.”

⁂

i came to win, win, win, better show me what you goti came to bring the fire ‘cause you know i like it hotgonna win, win, win, ‘cause i’m full of tiger bloodi’m vicious like a viper and i’m ready to turn it on!

roman bops his head absentmindedly, headphones soundly on his ears, focus… maybe not quite so sound, but he’s at least holding a pencil and looking at his homework, so he thinks that counts as an attempt at focus on this stupid homework. like, who even needs proofs in real life?

so when a cup that looks like it’s full of soda is set in front of him, roman’s eager to hit pause and set down his pencil, looking up at his deliverer.

“uh, hey,” virgil says. “you busy?”

“not really,” roman lies brightly, pushing aside his homework. virgil’s eyes narrow when he sees it.

“you’re doing homework.”

“it can wait,” roman says, putting down his pencil. “seriously, it can wait. i want it to wait.”

“yeah, kid, that’s half the problem,” virgil retorts, tilting the textbook a little so that he can read, and his brow furrows. “geometry proofs?”

“like i said,” roman says, shoving his papers into the textbook before he closes it, “it can wait.”

“yeah, i guess,” virgil says, and he slides into the seat across from roman, holding onto his own beverage—a mug, probably with decaf coffee, or something—which he’s tap-tap-tapping his fingernails against. “uh. still not a math person?”

“yeah, archi-melancholy, because most people going into dance and theater and the fine arts are so well-known to be math people,” roman quips, and virgil smiles, just a little.

“archimedes joke?”

“i tried,” roman says. “again. not a math person.”

he takes a sip. cherry coke. the actual good kind with caffeine and full sugar and everything. which means that either virgil’s good mood has lasted two days—doubtful, considering he’s fidgeting with his mug—or he’s about to attempt a vague Emotional Talk, or something. he’s pretty sure he picked up the habit of giving people food they like as a special treat whenever there’s the possibility of upset from patton. or maybe it started with patton. who knows.

“so, uh,” virgil says. “what’re you listening to?”

“pop song,” roman says. “after your time. i think it’s too young for you. and it’s also, like, slightly cheerful and confidence-boosting.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you’ve been sneak-playing mcr for the past two days,” roman says accusingly.

“they’re a good band,” virgil protests, and then, with an affected, forceful casualness, “your dad liked them too.”

roman pauses. hearing about his dad is kind of like… well, honestly, it’s kind of like hearing about bigfoot, or mothman, or yetis, or some other kind of cryptid. sure, people might have seen him. roman never had. sure, people had interacted with him. roman hadn’t. sure, people had stories about him. roman didn’t. sure, people might have blurry, strange pictures that roman had touched, stared at, seen his whole life. roman didn’t have one with him, not even his dad holding him as a baby. remus duke is almost a larger-than-life, obscure piece of sideshire mythology. remus duke, the famous horror author, with the tragic death, who’d once been the mysterious partner in crime with local loner virgil, who’d bravely volunteered to co-parent with the fearsome isadora prince. people might have seen him. believed in him.

roman feels like a cryptid hunter, sometimes. like he’s doomed to always be questing out into the mysterious unknown, searching for some evidence, some form of personal connection, some story that’s his. he’s almost always come up empty.

doesn’t stop him from turning back for another quest.

he takes another sip. and, in an affected, forcefully casual tone, he says, “did he?”

virgil clears his throat. “yeah. uh—yeah.”

“that’s… cool,” roman says.

“i kind of—“ virgil coughs. “i mean, i, uh. sorry for the whole awkward… hugging thing. i just—you know. i think he would have been happy. to hear they were back together.”

roman swallows and looks down into his cup. “oh.”

he would have been happy. roman hears that sometimes. apparently, his dad would have been happy that he turned out dancing like his mom. apparently, his dad would have been happy that he had once tackled a mean kid at sideshire for calling logan annoying. apparently, his dad would have been happy that my chemical romance reunited.

it’s not like roman would know.

roman taps his fingernails against the cup and looks back up at virgil, before he says, “were they his favorite?”

“huh?”

“my chemical romance,” roman elaborates. “were they my dad’s favorite band?”

“ah, no,” virgil says. “no. he, uh—he liked a lot of bands. his favorites changed a lot. but he liked, um—he liked the residents, and captain beefheart and the magic band. oh, and rockbitch.”

roman’s lip twitches. “captain beefheart?”

“it was a band from the sixties,” virgil says. “lots of experimental stuff. he liked everything as long as it was weird.”

“yeah, i’ve heard,” roman says.

virgil hesitates, before he says, “once, he just played it’s a small world on loop for a week.”

roman cringes at the very idea. virgil laughs.

“yeah, i think that reaction was half the reason,” he says. “i think i, um. i think i’ve still got his cd collection in some boxes, stored away. he had the biggest music collection of anyone i’d ever met. i think the idea of spotify or music streaming the way we’ve got now would’ve given him heart palpitations.”

“of stress?”

“of excitement,” virgil corrects, and his lips twitch up in a bittersweet kind of smile. “he would have hacked the diner playlist and stuffed it full of rickrolling and a ten-hour gregorian chant remix and cotton eye joe and peanut butter jelly time and some pirate shanties, with, like, jesus take the wheel and that one song about christmas shoes thrown in for color.”

roman laughs, and virgil looks relieved.

“but, i figured,” virgil says, and shrugs. “i think you like music even more than him, maybe. so if you’ve got a stereo somewhere, you could—you could take any cd you want from it. i’m sure your mom would be thrilled to hear the dulcet tones of tuvan throat singing blaring in the apartment again.”

“okay,” roman says, and his voice comes out more eager than he means it to. “i—yeah, okay. i’d like that.”

“yeah?” virgil says.

“yeah,” roman says.

“uh, virgil?” jean calls. “the oven’s doing the smoking thing again!”

virgil curses under his breath, getting to his feet, before he taps his fingers against the table. “just—let me know when, yeah? i can show you the mcr album he doodled all over. practically gave it new cover art.”

“okay,” roman says.

“and do your homework!” virgil shouts over the din of concerned customers, even as he’s heading for the kitchen.

roman sighs, but tugs his textbook closer and opens it again.

the smile reappears on his face when, a couple songs later, a g-note rings throughout the diner.

#the sideshire files #ask #my fic #anonymous #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides

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nokomiss · 5 years ago

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GUESS WHAT MOTORBABIES I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

youtube

So our favorite nerds dropped THIS GLORIOUS GEM today, which is the most extra tour announcement in the history of tour announcements in the form of a love letter about the band itself and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. In fact, I love it so much I made a GIANT LIST of everything that I love and/or noticed, in this video in which My Chemical Romance do not actually even personally appear. So, without further ado...

A LIST OF THINGS I LOVED IN THE SUMMONING VIDEO:

- The fact that they used a MEME as the BASIS of this BEAUTIFUL VIDEO. So extra.

- PANSY. I wouldn't have caught it if not for Frank's insta but of COURSE he wanted to shine a light on one of our fave guitars!

- ALL THE SONG REFERENCES: NJ Dept of Corrections mug for Prison, the gas mask for Teenagers/Black Parade, the Hotel Bella Muerta key ahhhhh.

- The KILLJOYS jacket on the clothes rack!! THE PHOTOS, omg. So obviously people they've lost -- their manager, relatives, Frank's dogs, and then did anyone else notice that they included a picture of Dixie, Bob Bryar's german shepherd that died under mysterious circumstances?? (If they bring back Bob I will be the happiest of happy.) Also the Our Lady of Sorrows and a switchblade there, nice seque towards Bullets-era, esp with Romance playing.

- Didn't Lyn-Z get Gerard a cloak for christmas one year then he called himself a cloak lord?? I feel like that was mentioned on one of Worm's gaming livestreams, that one where they played D&D and Gerard was the dungeon master. Anyway my point is that cloaks are awesome and I appreciate Gerard's dedication to bringing them back. Let’s all live the cloak lord life 2020.

-RUN followed by the Draculoids knocking, ahhh. keep running indeed!

-THE OMINOUS GUITAR RIFF. OMG. First of all awesome, secondly, DEFINITELY 'THE HELL OF IT' FROM PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE. (which is awesome and if you like mcr you'll love it, they love it too)

-Then the door to the Bullets club! RAY'S MEDIC HELMET, awww, and the skull neon light, and all the new wave vampires! ( Does this reference inspirations as well as eras? because there's a heavy vibe of MIkeyway's taste in music and Blade Runner neon here, right?? Plus we all know what an inspiration Phantom of the Paradise is on them). THE GRAFITTI WALL, with the xoxo's and UNLEASH THE BATS and saints... protect her now, and DIE IN THE DESERT (desert song maybe??)

- Sexy vampire action! Vampires will never hurt you, of course.

- STARVED TO DEATH IN THE LAND OF PLENTY sign from the Black Parade video is in the background by the bar!!

-ahhh now through a new door into the land of Revenge. I love how the tone immediately shifts from party to funeral, with the Demolition Lovers and the same program as from the Helena video, and then Helena herself! Seeing the Draculoids here feels like such a strange crossover, even though it's the same band. I LOVE that the kid ducks into a confession booth (who else misses priest!gerard amirite) and then the matches say FIRE AT WILL on them, which is one of the best lines of Thank You for the Venom.

-I really, really love that he went from confessional to coffin, that's such a gorgeous transition, especially given that the Black Parade was about the journey through death. The hospital feels even more stark and clinical after the neon of the club and the muted candlelight of the church, and i love the contrasts so so much.

-The shifting Rorschach test has to be a reference to Watchmen, right, and Rorschach's ever-shifting mask? I just watched Desolation Row last night marveling at how that might have been the peak hotness for the entire band. That video is *chef's kiss* from the giant hole in Gerard’s pants, Frank spitting and bending himself up everywhere, Mikeyway’s face, Ray’s guitar god poses... ANYWAY BACK TO THE NEW SHIT

-THE TRANS AM. man i loved the whole sun-soaked dusty apocalypse aesthetic of the Killjoys era.

-The explosion-- that has to be the band breaking up,right? destroying the old, as the kid throws himself through the new door, into the current era. i love the candle-lit witchy vibes. and i am SO SO SO HOPING THAT THIS SHOWS US WHAT THE NEW ALBUM'S ERA IS GOING TO BE. Revisiting the past, but showing there's still more to come, there are still new worlds to explore, more stories to unfold. idk I think I am looking too deeply into it but THEN AGAIN PROBABLY SO DID GERARD

-Does an eight-point star have significance? I don’t know enough about witchy things.

- I love that they just had the Ouija board say YES as they show an arena; I have missed their devotion to theatrics so much. Is it necessary to do all this? No, but god, it's so much FUN and they have so much care and passion for what they do.

-The skeleton in the Black Parade uniform references The Black Parade is Dead!, right? And the empty Draculoid uniforms... idk. They aren't giving chase anymore so maybe there's no need to keep running? We've arrived, California 2019 happened, and now we're forging ahead into brand new territory with new ghosts and new enemies?

ANYWAY IF YOU CAN'T TELL I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I'VE MISSED THEM SO MUCH AND I'M JUST SO HAPPY.

#my chemical romance #mcr #my chem #OUR BOYS ARE BACK #i've missed them #this video is everything #if i got anything wrong well to be fair IT'S BEEN A DECADE

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dyketectivecomics · 5 years ago

Note

{{ Writing asks! LMM for 22? Arkham Exorcism for 3? Your OCs for 12 (if you have faceclaims for them, and if not then go for 15)? 16 can be applicable to Your DC Headcanons in General, right? And I'm gonna stop there because if I don't, I won't leave any for anyone else to ask. lD;;

lmao u were the only one to send in asks anyways, but ily zira got BLESS U

also this got long for my tastes SO UNDER A CUT IT GO

LMM & 22. which character swears the most? least?

Little Miss Moonbeam is definitely a fic where Pam & Harley are spending 99% of their time trying to carefully regulate their language bc there is a Young Child in their presence. meanwhile raven is going “i’m like 11 so shut the fuck up” (in reality they don't curse that much more than anyone else would, but they're gonna put on the filters anyways). now DIANA and ZEE on the other hand? those filters are OFF. and the stress is HIGH (at least, reasonably, for Zatanna especially lmao)

AE & 3. which 3+ songs would make up a playlist for the novel?

oooof, whatever i had to write with last year has been lost to time, but this year for action/thrill sequences i’ve been turning to “House of Wolves” by MCR, so something with a good pace and to get me in the mindset, not so much lyrics driven tho, its just that Pump Up Song that has some interesting imagery that’s only tangentially related to the writing.

But for tone & especially for the big close, “Love Vigilantes” by New Order has been resonating SO HARD recently? I don’t want to spoil too much for anyone who hasn't had the chance to read it, and especially since there’s so much that needs to happen in the between to really pull off it meaning anything... and because i still look back on the fic and feel like it needs a bit of a rewrite to pull it off correctly but we’ll see ahhh ALSO also if any of y'all wanna scream about New Wave 80s music w/ me rn I'm trying to go back on THAT kick rn

i wanna try to avoid talking abt my OCs anywhere else except my own writing blog actually so STRAIGHT ON TO THE NEXT Q

16. do any characters have distinctive birthmarks/scars?

i mean other than the batfam having too many scars to ever be able to justify them all lmao, i know i’ve written that one headcanon of mine abt Raven being burned accidentally by religious effigies, I'm still a little fond of that mostly bc i like the idea of consecrated items making life difficult/uncomfy for Demons

call it projecting, but from my own experience/talking with theatre friends, I DEF headcanon the Zataras as having plenty of injuries from stage equipment over the years. Giovanni’s hair on his head covers a particularly bad head injury from when someone improperly stacked equipment. Zatanna has had her share of snagged skin and torn fishnets from unfinished props/loose nails. Zach especially running his shins into old set pieces while running around backstage to his next cue. idk what it was especially about high school theatre, and maybe it was just my hs, but its a LAWLESS place backstage, where room is MADE and then promptly IGNORED when its a Certain Time of Year.

#asked and answered #beyondthetemples #zira tag #noncompliance #for the heacanons at least lmao #also uhhh. no spoilers for LMM or AE y'all but its teetering to CLOSE #g o d im gonna spend ALL fic writing time on AE. i WANNA FINISH IT THIS OCTOBER. ITS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!

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verminviscount · 6 years ago

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Remember that story I wrote with eli i never posted?

Here it is. By the way, it’ll be a long one. you may notice im a master of double texting. everything in parentheses is our commentary.

Me: *will add emojis later*

Me: here he is

Me: this is Gerald

Eli: Gerald is beautiful

Me: he likes to break gender roles

Eli: I see

Me: Gerald says thank you

Me: for calling him beautiful

Me: Gerald is opening a Q&A

Eli: what’s his fav color

Me: gerald likes green

Me: mint green

Eli: Ooo nice

Eli: What’s his sexuality

Me: Gerald is poly

Eli: cool

Eli: is he single

Me: yes

Eli: so I take it he’s looking for someone

Me: yes

Eli: *will add emojis later*

Eli: This is Rebecca

Eli: She thinks that Gerald is cute

Me: Gerald thinks that Rebecca is sweet

Eli: She usually doesn’t do this but she is wondering if Gerald would like to grab coffee

Me: Gerald doesn’t drink coffee, but Gerald will get a hot cocoa with Rebecca

Me: whats Rebeccas favorite band?

Eli: Neither does Rebecca but she thought that’s what people say. She is flattered

Eli: She is v much still in love with mcr

Me: Gerald thinks that even if this doesnt work out, this will be a wonderful frenship

Eli: Rebecca is looking forward to this

Me: Gerald is outside Rebeccas house.

Me: Gerald is ready to go to Starbucks with Rebecca

Eli: Rebecca is heading downstairs right now

Eli: She is v excited

Me: Gerald thinks Rebecca looks wonderful

Me: they go to Starbucks

Eli: Rebecca forgot to tell Gerald how good he looks

Eli: She offers to pay for the hot cocoa

Me: Gerald politely turns her down

Me: there is a woman glaring at Gerald

Eli: Rebecca starts to feel self conscious so she tries to start a conversation

Eli: She accidentally spills her drink

Me: the woman walks over and starts harassing Gerald over his fashion choices

Eli: Despite feeling embarrassed about the spill she stands up for Gerald

Me: the womans husband comes over and apologizes for his wifes behavior, paying for Gerald and Rebeccas drinks

Eli: Rebecca asks Gerald is he’s okay

Eli: She reassures him that he looks great

Me: *will add emojis later*

Me: Gerald is shaken, but he says he will be okay

Eli: *will add emojis later*

Eli: Rebecca feels bad but tells him that he looks way better in a dress than that bitch

Me: Gerald hugs Rebecca and thanks her for standing up for him

Eli: Rebecca hugs him back and tells him that she would do it anytime

Eli: Rebecca will fight a bish

Me: Gerald gets his second hot cocoa and notices the barista has written his number on the cup

Eli: Rebecca tells Gerald that she would be okay with him calling the barista although she would be disappointed

Eli: She says she would be his wingman but she points to the huge stain on her shirt

Me: (Why is rebecca actually the best?)

Eli: (only the best for Gerald)

Me: Gerald texts the barista, but tells Rebecca maybe they could make it a polyam relationship if she and the barista are okay with it

Me: (OT3 OT3 OT3)

Eli: Rebecca has never done anything like that so she has to give it some thought

Me: Gerald respects that and takes the time to ask the barista

Eli: Rebecca thinks Gerald should know that she once dated the barista

Me: Gerald is a little surprised, and wants to know more

Eli: The barista is a great guy and they actually broke up because he needed to figure himself out

Eli: They have no bad blood

Me: Gerald is happy to hear that

Eli: Rebecca has decided that she is willing to give the polyam relationship a try

Me: the barista said the same thing

Eli: Rebecca is happy to hear that

Me: Gerald asks if Rebecca knows Carl and Nico

[AUTHORS NOTE: that was the first story like this we wrote, I’ll post it if you’re interested, but you don’t have to know it for this to make sense]

Eli: (oh no)

Eli: Rebecca says that she is cousins with Nico although they aren’t exactly on good terms

Eli: That’s why she wasn’t at the wedding

Me: Carl and Gerald are twin brothers

Eli: Rebecca is surprised. She had a twin brother but he died sadly

Me: Gerald asks his name

Eli: Ace

Me: How old was Ace when he passed, and where did you guys live?

Eli: Rebecca says they were 17 and they lived in North Carolina

Me: GERALD AND ACE WERE BEST FRIENDS

Eli: Rebecca is taken aback. She and Ace were v close and she had never heard about Gerald

Me: Gerald didn’t want anyone to know about him

Me: except Ace. Ace was special to Gerald

Eli: Now that she thinks about it Ace did mention someone he cared deeply about but never gave a name

Me: Ace and Gerald had been dating for a few years before Ace died

Eli: Rebecca begins to cry. She remembers that Ace had been planning to come out on his 18th birthday.

Me: Gerald feels awful that he made Rebecca cry

Me: (shit this got really depressing)

Eli: Rebecca tells Gerald that it’s not his fault

Eli: (shit it did)

Me: the barista comes over to comfort them (wtf is his name?)

Eli: (Chad???)

Me: (ew no he needs a cool name)

Eli: (Rodney???)

Eli: (???)

Me: (hmm Michael)

Eli: (okay)

Eli: Rebecca appreciates Michael coming over but she decides she can’t be in a relationship with Gerald

Eli: Gerald meant too much to Ace for her to do that

Me: Gerald is heart broken, but understands

Me: (fUCC im like, about to cry)

Eli: (im sorry sammy)

Eli: Rebecca wishes Gerald luck in life and still wants him to date Michael

Me: Michael is crying and hugs Rebecca, wishing her the best

Me: Gerald kisses Rebeccas cheek and says he hopes she finds someone good enough for her

Eli: Rebecca tries not to cry as she says goodbye

Eli: she decides maybe its her turn to find herself and she decides to move away

Me: (AAAA MY HEART)

Eli: (god this is so sad)

Eli: (what have we done)

Me: Michael asks Gerald out on a date. Gerald says yes, but he wants to help Rebecca move first

Me: Gerald wants to stay friends with Rebecca

Eli: Rebecca appreciates Gerald’s help. She invites him to have hot cocoa one more time before she leaves

Me: Gerald accepts

Me: (i am legit tearing up rn wtf)

Eli: (this is happier although part of me wants to make it sad)

Eli: (OK maybe not)

Me: (screw it, let’s make it sad)

Eli: Rebecca is glad to spend this time with Gerald. She decides to break the news to him that she’s dying

Eli: (ahhh what did i do)

Me: (AHHH WHAT DID YOU DO)

Eli: (IDK)

Me: Gerald is devastated and asks if he can help

Eli: Rebecca says that she appreciates the offer but she doesn’t want him to be around when it happens. That’s the real reason why she’s moving.

Me: Gerald asks what shes dying of

Eli: She has cancer

Me: (this is some john green book type shit right here)

Eli: (oof)

Me: (maybe hot cocoa can be our always)

Eli: (my heart)

Eli: (XD) [A/N yeah... both Eli and I are stuck in 2005.]

Me: (same)

Eli: Rebecca wishes she could stay have hot cocoa with Gerald all day but it’s time for her to leave

Me: Michael holds Gerald as he cries (bitch me too) Gerald says he will miss Rebecca and he hopes that if she dies from the cancer she will meet Ace again

Eli: Rebecca hugs the two of them and says she will tell Ace that Gerald is doing well (im not tho)

Me: (we should end this story before i start full on sobbing)

Eli: (im not crying you’re crying)

Me: (were both crying, lets be honest here)

Eli: (Rebecca leaves and everyoneliveshappilyeveraftertheehd???)

Me: (that works)

Me: *three years later*

Eli: (why would you do that)

Eli: (my heart can’t take anymore)

Me: Rebecca beat the cancer, Gerald and Michael are engaged and Rebecca is Geralds best woman

Me: (dude dont worry happy ending)

Me: THANK FUCC THATS OVER

Eli: oh yay

#kind of angsty #poorly written #happy ending

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emotabek · 7 years ago

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I was tagged by @worldofcopperwings to answer 10 questions, and then ask 10 questions of my own! thank you <3

1. Would you rather have a vacation in a city or in the woods doing outdoorsy things? - City! I love how there’s always stuff going on and idk, I just love the chaos of it all aha

2. What was your first fandom? - Ahhh wow I guess bandom if that counts?? I was very active on tumblr during the 2010/2011 bandom days with like mcr, panic, fob, etc.

3. What’s the last book you read?- I’m currently rereading The Picture of Dorian Gray!

4. Wrist watch or checking your phone for time? phone!

5. Aesthetics: black-and-white or lots of color? Black and white (and pink lololol otherwise I’m not into a lot of colors)

6. Growing up, who did you admire? Tbh my first IdolTM was Britney Spears I adored her even when her life was kind of falling apart and I’m so proud of her now!! She’s such a great human and mother and wow I’m emotional fight me I love Britney Spears??? Also Avril Lavigne (rip) (avril lavigne circa 2007 is still my aesthetic) !

7. And who do you admire now? Frank Iero, who was the guitarist for mcr !!! I’m still emo aha he’s so talented and genuine and just overall my favorite human

8. What is your favorite musical? Sweeney Todd and Hamilton!!

9. What’s the one chore around the house you hate doing? Dishes ughughh

10. If you had to choose a hedgehog or a ferret as a pet, which one would you choose and why? they’re both precious but I think hedgehog! they’re just so cute

My questions:

1. Favorite song (of all time and/or currently)?

2. What are some things on your bucket list?

3. Any pets?

4. Where would you travel if you could go absolutely anywhere?

5. Who/what do you miss right now?

6. Zodiac sign?

7. Favorite TV show and/or anime?

8. What can’t you live without?

9. Describe your aestheticTM.

10. What’s the last concert you went to? If you haven’t been to one, who would you like to see?

I tag @novocaine-sea @blameotayuri @otasucc @otayuriism @onotherflights @altisetsky @kanekkis @gutgemacht @sleepyams @bathands

#noelle speaks #dont feel obligated to do this if i tagged you but ye :^)

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flighty37-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Before We Met

Summary: Dan and Phil meet and Skype, and eventually meet face to face. I had written something like this before, but it got lost. I’m trying to recreate it here. As with all Fanfiction, imagination is the spark that fills in what you don’t know.

Sometime during the early 00′s:

A twelve year old with semi-straight, but slowly turning into waves, brown hair, and tired eyes looked down at the pavement, scuffling his feet. His hands in the pockets of his trousers.

He kicked a pebble along, and he sighed. He winced. He’d been punched. Again. His mum would take a look at it, and hopefully administer a plaster to the gash below his eye. He’d stuffed two pieces of toilet roll in his nostrils to staunch the flow of blood. But soon, he’d be at the library. They would let him use the computer.

He’d be able to escape for a little while. He rubbed at his ‘good eye’, and sighed again.

“Hey Howell,” a voice jerked his head up.

“Great, here we go again,” he said under his breath.

“I’m talkin’ to you Howell.....AWWWOOOOO!!!!” The jeering lad howled.

“Yeah like I’ve never heard that before. Kudos on the imitation of the wolf’s howl, jerk,” Dan mumbled under his breath. “Excuse me, I’m on my way to the sanctuary of the library,” Dan ventured.

“Ohhh look at the nerd boy. Lemme take your head out of the books. C’mere,” The boy got closer and Dan flinched.

“I think not. Mrs. MacGee’s just in there,” Dan said, as he practically ran inside the brick building.

Mrs. MacGee was always sympathetic and she would let him on the computers, and not monitor him like the others. She monitored almost everyone else. He took his number and signed onto the computer.

“Take me away from my horrible existence,” he said under his breath

He went on his own homepage and, of course, put up a new ‘ironic’ message.

“That’ll blow their minds....” He chuckled and continued to mess about.

Still during the early 00′s:

“So Phil have you made up your mind yet?” Nigel asked of his son.

“About what?” Phil was happily eating cereal, and looking at one of the new comics he’d bought at the shop.

“About Uni,” Martyn butted in. It was Saturday so there wasn’t any school.

“Not really. I was thinking maybe York, or Manchester, both are ace,” Phil said though in a quieter tone.

Sometimes it was hard to talk and read at the same time.

“York is pretty nice,” Nigel answered.

“I’m going there,” Martyn said.

“They have green hoodies,” Phil answered and shrugged his shoulders.

“You’re just going for the hoodies?” Martyn asked, as he made himself a bowl of cereal and he sat down next to his younger brother.

“Course that’s not all I’m going to pick a uni for,” Phil said.

“What would you go for?” Martyn asked.

“I’d go for something I’m really interested in. I dunno, I’ve got two years yet,” Phil answered, and was silent.

Moments later Catherine returned to the kitchen. She took a moment to look at her three men. She loved them all, and then she puttered about the kitchen and began to make herself a nice egg breakfast.

14 year old Dan:

“Dammit! I can’t wait to grow up and get out of here!” Dan seethed. He was on the family computer. They’d finally gotten one for the ‘whole family’ to share.

Not that his parents were ever home, and Adrian was too young to understand.

“One day I’m going to have a desktop of my own,” Dan promised.

“Get off. I need to get on for business,” Mr. Howell was at Dan’s side all of a sudden.

Dan jumped a little, and he slid out of the chair. He skulked to his room and decided to put on MCR.

“This is what I need,” Dan turned up the volume.

“Don’t wake Adrian,” Mrs. Howell peeked her head inside Dan’s room.

“Sorry Mum,” Dan put in his earphones and he laid down on the bed, facing the ceiling.

Later that evening... Dan couldn’t sleep, so he sneaked onto the computer again, making sure that nobody woke up, or his annoying brother wouldn't walk in. He went to a new site called YouTube.

He smiled. He had been going on this site for a few weeks.

“Where is that guy?” Dan asked himself.

“Ahhh here he is....AmazingPhil,” Dan grinned and put on some earphones.

“Take me away AmazingPhil....” Dan muttered. He watched a couple of videos and laughed a little. Still being mindful of his sleeping family.

18 year old Phil:

“I’ve been talking for ages...” He signed off.

He wouldn’t get any followers, besides this was only a hobby. He was going to Uni, full time now, and he needed to study. So he studied, and he put away his mum’s present. He was going to see her on the morrow anyway. He missed his family, he missed Rossensall. He missed being in his house. He fell asleep on the bed, and dreamed of his mum’s fabulous dinners.

Perhaps his dad would grill out. That’d be lovely. His father always did something nice for his mum on Mother’s Day. Every day really, but especially Mother’s Day, is when Nigel put his foot down and the boys helped about the house and practically gave Catherine the day off.

Though, Catherine was fidgety, but she enjoyed the extra attention. She did order them about in a nice way. Phil’s mum made chores fun.

18 year old Dan:

“Uni is shit,” Dan said, as he logged into his computer. He was sat in his dorm after class, and he was just enjoying the momentary quietness of the room.

His dorm mates were a loud bunch, and though he tuned them out, nothing made him quite as comfortable as being in front of the computer, and just zoning out the worthless world. Maybe AmazingPhil was on?

He would be so happy if he was on.

“He’s ages older than I am,” Dan said.

“What? Four years?” Dan reprimanded himself.

“I wonder....” Dan wrote an email to Phil.

He wasn’t going to expect a reply. He just wrote an off the cuff email, and went to bed. He had a hard time falling asleep, but eventually sleep overcame him. He succumbed.

The Next Morning....

“A response?” Dan squinted and made sure he was reading it right. Dan, on a whim wrote him again. Then there came another response when Dan had come to check his email again after classes

. “This has got to be a dream,” he mumbled.

A Few Weeks later on Skype:

“Sooo hi,” Phil said through the screen.

“Hi yourself,” Dan was so nervous he wiped his hands on his faded black joggers, and looked down in his lap.

“What’s going on with you; besides university stuff?” Phil tried, as Dan licked his lips and tried to formulate an answer.

“Nothing much. Loud dorms. You know? The usual?” Dan answered in a halting voice.

“Same here. I’ve got ten of them, housemates I mean,” Phil tried to get the younger man to open up. He was eighteen, and this made Phil feel kind of old. But he seemed to connect with the young man, and a little bit of hope sprung up in him.

“We should meet up. Mum and Dad are going out of town. Want to meet me in Manchester in a couple of days?” Phil asked on a whim.

“What?” Dan asked, taken aback.

“Well, I mean, we’ve been talking for a few weeks, and you’ve been following me like a....” Phil’s voice trailed off.

“A stalker. Yeah I know, I’m sorry,” Dan blushed.

“What are you sorry for? This has been pretty much the greatest few weeks of my life,” Phil replied.

“Really?” Dan asked.

“Of course,” Phil answered.

“What about your brother?” Dan asked.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s got a girlfriend,” Phil rolled his eyes.

“He did? Since when?” Dan asked.

“August, or thereabouts, they’re so in love,” Phil laughed a little and his tongue poked out.

“So he won’t be there?” Dan asked.

“Nope, he already told Mum and Dad he’d be at her flat. Mum thinks it’s cute, Dad doesn’t know what to think. Seeing as she’s....” Phil sighed and then it was his turn to look down in his lap.

“She’s so much older? Am I right?” Dan finished for him.

“Yeah,” Phil nodded, marveling at the near synchronicity.

“Well listen, if I can get the okay from my parents, yeah I told them about you; then I’ll meet you in the Tube station in Manchester,” Dan promised.

“Really?” Phil asked.

“Of course,” Dan said.

They signed off, and then Dan packed his things. He would be going home for the weekend, and hopefully to Phil’s in two days’ time. It being a bank holiday. He nodded, he’d just have to convince his parents....

In Reading:

“Mum, Dad, I need to talk to you,” Dan said, and shook his head, resuming pacing.

“There’s a matter of utmost importance that I must ask your permission for....” Dan gritted his teeth, looked in the mirror, fixed his fringe, and started pacing again.

“They’re not bankers,” Dan reprimanded his reflection, then he paced back and forth in front of his mirror, hands behind his back.

“Mother, Father, I need to ask you a question. I would like to inhabit Manchester in two days’ time,” Dan started.

“No....” He sighed and then he exited his room.

“Now or never,” Dan muttered and found his parents in the lounge.

“I would like to embark on a new adventure?” Dan mentally slapped his forehead. Damn that was too posh, even for him. Breathe in. Breathe out. Think about your friend. For Phil....Yeah....Okay....

“Mum, Dad, I want to go to Manchester,” Dan announced. Loudly.

Susan looked up from her knitting,

Stanley furrowed his brows, and laid the magazine in his lap, carefully. Both looked quizzically at their odd, eldest, son.

“Whatever for?” Susan asked.

“Because,” Dan licked his lips.

“You’ve got a girlfriend?” Stanley almost smiled.

“No!” Dan yelped out.

“You’ve got work up there?” Stanley tried again.

“Uh-uh,” Dan faltered.

Dan licked his lips again, and started, “Phil’s invited me up to Manchester.”

“Phil?” Susan hedged.

“Phil Lester, I’ve mentioned him,” Dan answered.

“Oh....Philip...Yes...” Susan’s voice trailed off.

“Isn’t he that twenty-two year old?” Stanley’s voice broke Susan’s concentration.

“Twenty-two? You did not tell me he’s twenty-two,” Susan said, and she frowned.

“Yes I did. I said, I’ve been Skyping with a twenty-two year old, and he‘s nice, and he’s interested in the same things I’m interested in,” Dan answered.

“Oh right, I believe you said it whilst I was listing houses,” Susan said.

“And when I was closing an important deal, you were prattling on about something,” Stanley mused.

“May I go?” Dan asked, as he felt his inner being surge.

Even his tattered soul began to flutter as if in a breeze. He wanted to go. He really did.

“I suppose, you’ll be out of school for five days anyway. We don’t need you or Adrian under foot. Go on then,” Susan said.

“Great! I’ll go and tell him,” Dan nearly, not quite because he so wasn’t a Chav, skipped to his room.

He texted Phil, yes they had exchanged numbers early on.

“Skype! Now!” Phil texted back.

“Alright,” Dan answered and then he and Phil were Skyping again.

“

I’m so Excited!” Phil squeaked out, putting fists to his mouth in unexplainable glee.

“Me Too! We’ll have to do things whilst I’m there. I want to actually see the Manchester Eye,” Dan said.

“Write down a list,” Phil said.

“Okay,” Dan promised. They said goodbye an hour later, and Dan wrote down things he wanted to do.

Manchester Tube Station:

“Is-Is that really you Dan?” A familiar, yet unfamiliar voice sounded.

Dan looked about, and found raven black hair coming his way, with a gangly pale man attached. He was wearing a red checked shirt, black jeans and a ready smile.

“It’s really me. Are you....I know who you are,” Dan managed and held out a hand to shake.

“Forget that Mate,” Phil grinned wider, if that were possible, and he enveloped Dan in a tight embrace.

“Whoa!” Dan squeaked out, but returned the hug.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot,” Phil pulled away suddenly.

“No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t ready,” Dan gathered his things.

“Here lemme help, what d’you want me to carry?” Phil asked.

“Backpack?” Dan asked.

“Okay,” Phil shouldered the backpack, quite naturally.

They called for a car, and they got to Phil’s house.

There was a lot of animated conversation going on.

“You’ll like this place, it’s two parts creepy, one part interesting.... And don’t mind the rubber alien. I did that for a video....” Phil chattered, as Dan got used to his talk.

Phil furrowed his brows. “Are you okay? Am I talking too much? My dad says I talk too much, Martyn says I’m a right terror.... Mum says that, well Mum doesn’t say much. She pretty much lets me do what I want. I mean I did creepily stare at them in the corner of their room when I was younger, so I think she’s given up on me,” Phil continued.

Dan gulped, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. Loving the way he felt connected to this person he’d just met. Feeling as if they had known each other their whole lives, instead of a few weeks.

“I’m fine. I like listening to you talk; why else would I have stalked you, and emailed you, and asked you for, well, editing tips?” Dan asked in a rush.

“I dunno,” Phil unlocked the front door, and stood aside to let Dan in.

“See? It’s not fancy, but it’s home. D’you like it?” Phil asked, a worried lilt in his voice.

“Yeah,” Dan answered, noting the weird pictures on the wall, the funny looking stairs, and then the lounge with the desktop and the exercise machine.

“This is.... Well I’m shook,” Dan said.

“Oh. Sorry,” Phil immediately apologised.

“Don’t apologise. It’s okay,” Dan reassured, and clapped him on the shoulder.

“I’ll show you to my room,” Phil said.

“No guest room?” Dan asked.

“No, we’ve only got my room, Martyn’s room, and Mum and Dad’s room. Sorry. But I’ve never had a for real sleepover and...” Phil covered his mouth with both hands.

“Sorry! Oh gosh that sounded so creepy, and you’ve just met me.... What if you take up residence in Martyn’s room? He wouldn’t mind. He’ll be with Cornelia for five days, and Mum and Dad are gone, and....” Phil was nervous.

“Hey, no, it’s okay Phil. I’ll stay in your room. I’ll sleep on the floor,” Dan said.

Just as Phil said at the same time, “I’ll sleep on the floor I reckon.”

“Now we’ve got to play for the bed,” Dan said, not realising it came out a bit like an innuendo.

“Oh really?” Phil raised an eyebrow.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors. Don’t you know the game?” Dan asked quizzically.

“Right! The way you said it though, it came out a bit like a euphemism, and I’ve always played it with an Alien,” Phil responded.

“What?” Dan asked, crinkling his own brows.

“Like this....” Phil showed him, and then after a couple of rounds....

“Alien!” Phil exulted.

“Nice, but no... Best out of three,” Dan said.

“Fine. Let’s go,” Phil acquiesced.

“Whatever, I’m going to sleep in your room and look up porn on your computer,” Dan joked.

“Okay,” Phil shrugged.

“Really?” Dan looked in askance.

“Whatever you want. I stay up all night anyway. My mum’s forever telling me to go to bed at a decent time,” Phil said.

“Mine too,” Dan answered.

“Gosh we have so much in common,” Phil said.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t know that if you’d ignored me,” Dan said.

“I almost did,” Phil quietly admitted.

“And look what you’d be missing out on,” Dan jokingly modeled.

“Ha-Ha!” Phil pushed him towards the room, and they put Dan’s things in a corner of the room.

When they’d gotten settled, and after bringing loads of snacks into Phil’s room, they started talking again, in between the commercials of an Anime they were watching.

“Hey Dan?” Phil questioned.

“Yeah?” Dan asked.

“Would you like to do a collaboration video with me?” Phil asked.

Dan gulped, and he blushed, and then quietly stood. Phil stood as well, and watched as Dan turned his back on him. Then he turned to face the confused black haired man.

“I dunno Phil,” Dan hedged.

“It’ll be much more fun with two,” Phil wheedled.

“You think so? Your fans wouldn’t mind if I was in the videos with you? They wouldn’t think I was stealing the spotlight from you?” Dan turned the questioning over to his side.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. You’re my friend, and it’s my channel, and whomever I invite it shouldn’t matter. You’ll do great,” Phil insisted.

“Let me think about it,” Dan sat back down on the bed.

“Alright,” Phil sat down next to him.

“What if, and this is just a suggestion... What if as a precursor to our collaboration video, I mean, if I do it; I just go around filming you in the house? And be like: ‘Phil lives in the hotel from The Shining’? It’d be a right laugh,” Dan said.

“You think? Then maybe they’d be more receptive to us? I reckon we’ve got great chemistry. I can read people, and you’re ‘my people’. You know?” Phil said.

“That sounded creepily cool,” Dan said.

“You know what I mean. Kindred spirit? Platonic soulmate?” Phil insisted.

“If you say so,” Dan answered, and shrugged a bit, secretly he was pleased that someone actually saw him as a kindred spirit.

His spirit was sort of surging, and it felt weird, but nice at the same time. He wasn’t alone. He had a friend. He’d never had a friend before, well not really. This felt different, but nice.

“Hey the anime’s starting!” Phil said, bringing Dan out of his reverie.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Dan said.

“We really need to stop apologising to each other,” Phil chuckled.

“We will soon enough. You’ll get tired of me, and we’ll just end up arguing over something,” Dan said.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of you. You’re too much fun,” Phil answered, and then they were silent for the rest of the time as the anime began to play.

“You’re alright Phil,” Dan mumbled.

“I’m what?” Phil asked.

“Nothing Mate,” Dan clapped Phil on the shoulder.

It was still pretty early, so Phil suggested they go out and do a bit of sightseeing.

“Not that Manchester’s all that great, London’s so much better, but you said you wanted to see the Manchester Eye, and things. It’s nearly eleven AM,” Phil said.

“I did get here pretty early,” Dan affirmed.

“Well I’m starting to get hungry. Let’s go and see what we can see. Maybe I’ll befriend the wildlife,” Phil mused.

“And I’ll make sure they don’t bite you,” Dan answered, and smiled a little.

“I knew you were friend material,” Phil replied.

Dan bit his lip. He’d never really heard praise from anyone. Least of all any of his peers. He winced at the phantom pain of a black eye.

“You okay?” Phil asked, clapping him on the shoulder.

“I’m fine. Let me get changed,” Dan answered, grabbing an outfit and going out of the room.

“The bathroom’s the first door on the right,” Phil instructed.

“Yeah? Thanks,” Dan disappeared. Phil decided to change outfits too, and soon they were trekking amidst Manchester.

“Oh, hey what’s that?” Dan pointed to a building.

“Oh that’s the restaurant we’d been talking about. Want to do lunch first?” Phil asked.

“Yeah,” Dan affirmed.

“Let’s go then,” Phil said, and they walked inside.

“It’s up high,” Dan said.

“I know, I don’t normally like heights, but since I’m not alone, I won’t be as scared,” Phil responded.

“You won’t fall through the floor you numpty” Dan said, a bit of sarcasm seeping in.

“I know,” Phil laughed a little. Seeming to recognise that Dan was joking. That took Dan aback a bit.

“You knew I was being sarcastic?” Dan asked.

“Of course I did. I know a lot about people. I like to observe them. I know it sounds creepy, but if you sit still long enough, and watch, you’ll pick up on their mannerisms, and how they are on the inside; plus, I’m psychic,” Phil answered.

Dan raised an eyebrow at him.

“I am! My grandma Dorothy passed the gift on to me,” Phil answered.

Of course she had. Phil had a very interesting family. At least it sounded like it.

“Oh, let’s get a table,” Phil said, once they were inside.

They ordered, they chatted, they took in the view. Their hearts accelerated, they had found their true mate. Their soulmate. Their best friend. Sometimes one just knew. And though it might take forever, it would happen.

“Some people are just like magnets,” Phil abruptly said, as they ate their desserts.

“How do you mean?” Dan asked, as he sipped his water.

“They just stick together and have a great time, and are best friends forever. And I declare you, to be my best friend,” Phil said.

“You’ve only been in my corporeal presence for half a day. What if you get sick of my face? What if I annoy you so terribly you don’t want me around anymore?” Dan asked putting the glass down.

“I won’t. I can tell. You’ll be lucky if you can get rid of me,” Phil answered and clinked Dan’s glass that was now sat on the table.

“I don’t believe you,” Dan said.

“You’ll see....” Phil mysteriously said.

Afterwards they went on the smaller Manchester Eye. It’d be gone in a few weeks, but it was fun to see all of Manchester.

“The wheel makes my insides feel spinny,” Phil said, as the wheel turned at the slowest speed possible.

“What are you on about?” Dan gave Phil such a deep assessing look, that Phil had to jerk his head back a little.

“I had to make sure you were okay. You said something really strange,” Dan said by way of explaining his stare.

“I say whatever comes into my head, and I’m getting a bit motion sick. I don’t do well with moving vehicles,” Phil was starting to turn a slight shade of sickly green.

“Green about the gills is what you are,” Dan diagnosed him.

“I can feel lunch coming up,” Phil said, and covered his mouth.

“Oh dear,” Dan said, and presently the two made their way off.

“Oh good, I love the solid ground,” Phil spoke up.

They arrived back at The Lester’s place. It was so quiet.

“Want to do a video today or tomorrow?” Phil asked.

“Tomorrow, my legs hurt so much! I haven’t done that much walking in a while. But we made a great haul,” Dan indicated their four bags.

“Hey souvenirs are the best!” Phil grinned and headed for the kitchen.

“I need a coffee,” Phil said.

“Make me some?” Dan asked, as he relaxed against the sofa.

“Sure yeah. No problem,” Phil called back.

Soon they were enjoying some coffee, and looking at the television again.

“Any favorite programs?” Phil asked.

“

A few.... Beyblade, Last of the Air Benders....” Dan listed a few more.

“Interesting, I was just starting to get into Beyblade,” Phil responded.

“Really?” Dan was intrigued.

“Yep,” Phil said, as he found the channel and the Beyblade intro came on.

“Huh,” Dan was impressed. All was quiet as they settled into a comfortableness only found in more seasoned, experienced friends. As if they had grown up together instead of four years apart.

The next day (sometime in the afternoon/early evening)

“Just be yourself. Don’t worry about anything,” Phil said as he set up the laptop.

“Okay,” Dan mentally breathed, as he grabbed the extra camera. He would be going through the house and convincing people that Phil lived in the Hotel from ‘The Shining’.

“Right then....” Phil said, and they were filming... It was goofy, it was silly, it was FUN! Phil was extremely happy as they made fun of each other, as Dan pushed him out of the way and was bossy.

And then....

The end of the video.

“This is the most fun I’ve ever had,” Dan said with a very straight face. Phil just went for it, adopting him on sight, and after only a day and a half.

He tackled his friend to the ground. Then they made hearts with their hands, their arms slightly linked. Phil turned off the camera after Dan had ‘licked’ it.

“Now I’ll have to disinfect that lense,” Phil jokingly grumped.

“Rude!” Dan joked back.

“Hey you’re the one who licked it. I didn’t even ask you to,” Phil smiled.

“Whatever,” Dan waved him off.

Later that night:

Both were still awake, but Phil was at the desktop, and Dan had his own laptop with him and he was perusing his MySpace account. He was heavily concentrating on something. Phil could tell.

“What’s on your mind?” Phil kindly asked.

“Besides death and the destruction of the whole of humanity?” Dan asked without looking up.

“Yeah,” Phil was undeterred.

“I was thinking that maybe I’d like to make a video and upload it to YouTube. What we did was fun, and maybe on my own, I can get more comfortable being in front of the camera. Â Do you think it’s a good idea?” Dan asked, as he blushed heavily.

“Why not? If you don’t try something new how are you ever going to experience the fullness that life has to offer?” Phil asked.

“Wow! That was profound and deep,” Dan smiled up at his friend.

“I know, sometimes I just come out with some really deep thinking stuff,” Phil shrugged.

“You certainly do,” Dan acknowledged. At about five AM they both fell asleep where they were sat.

In Dan’s bedroom, all alone:

“Well it’s now or never,” Dan said.

He’d bought a web camera the day before, with Phil’s help from the phone, and now he was in his bedroom. Thank god his parents were always busy, and Adrian was off with friends. It was the right time.

But how to do this? He hit on an idea. Or maybe it was just out of sheer panic that this had unfolded. Probably the sheer panic....

“Hello Internet! So.... My name is [Dan],” Dan put his fingers out as rectangular brackets. Then, without preamble he just became his weird, goofy, emo like self, with a bit of ˜It’s okay to be you’ thrown in. He asked Phil for editing tips and thus began a turn about in his way of thinking about careers.

A few months later, and in Phil’s new flat...The Decision (henceforth known as The Ultimate Existential Crisis):

Cramming, cramming, CRAMMING! For some reason Dan was sat in Phil’s new flat, on the sofa. He had papers spread out in front of him. He was nearly clawing out his eyeballs. Sure he’d had a couple of mini freak outs in Phil’s place, but.... This was The Big One, he was sure of it.

Phil was playing a game, and laughing. Why couldn’t he laugh too? Why couldn’t he play videogames? Because he had to pass his re-sit test, and then he’d be a lawyer and then he’d.... But YouTube was so much fun.

He had a few followers already. Not like Phil’s, and it was work talking to a camera.

But he was becoming braver. No. No. He had to be a lawyer, he had to make Mum and Dad proud of him.

“No! I can’t Do it! I Won’t!” Dan stood on top of the couch and threw his papers in the air.

Then he buried his head in his hands and sobbed. Phil put down the controller.

“What’s going on?” He looked mildly concerned.

“Nobody can make me do it!” Dan said.

“Do what? What’s going on? Sit down before you fall down,” Phil pleaded.

“I’m not going,” Dan said.

“But you have to go,” Phil said.

“No, I don’t!” Dan answered, and tossed the papers in the bin.

At his parents’:

“It’s better to have a mid life crisis as a teenager than as a middle aged adult,” Susan said, as Dan told her of his taking a year off.

“You wasted our hard earned money,” Stanley put in.

“Stanley, would you please go check on Adrian?” Susan sweetly, but with an underlying note of not quite anger, asked of her husband, who grunted and left.

“You’re welcome to stay with us during the year gap, if you’d like,” Susan said, and she patted his arm, as Dan nodded sadly.

“There we’re all sorted, aren’t we?” Susan stood.

“Yeah I guess we are,” Dan quietly said.

“Then go put your things in your room,” Susan said.

Dan had arranged everything with the headmaster, so that was it. He was taking a year off. He’d be fine. Right?

(2011) Phil’s (Beyond) brilliant idea:

“Hey Dan?” Phil asked over the phone. He was nearly bouncing up and down with excitement.

“Yeah?” Dan was looking out the window of his lounge, the trees were softly swaying, the birds were singing, the sun was out, and Dan was watching television.

“Want to be my flat-mate this year? I need help in this big place,” Phil said.

“Sure,” Dan said, he’d decided he wanted to work on his channel during his ‘gap year’.

“YES!” Phil exulted. And so Daniel Howell ‘temporarily moved in’, with Philip Lester. And thus it began....

A year later (About September 2012):

“No Mum, Dad, I already told you, I’m not going back. I’ve decided to upload videos to YouTube. And that’s final. Phil’s helping me out. Yeah, I know. It’s not stupid Dad!” Dan bit out.

He was pacing frenetically in his still empty room.

“I’ll be fine Mum. At least it’ll only be Adrian at home,” Dan tried to make light of the situation.

“I’ve already done a few, and I’ve got followers, I’m making money. I’m keeping a roof over my head. It’s alright. You don’t have to worry,” Dan assured his mother.

His family didn’t watch his videos. Not his parents, or his brother anyway. Grandma did, but she was usually just reading things. Phil casually walked into the room, and Dan gave him a nod.

Phil nodded back, but he was quiet as he could be. They’d been pushing away from each other. Each felt the tension. Their fans (Phans), community, audience, were getting more and more numerous. And though, they loved each and every one of them... There was a push and much shoving, from their ’shippers’, the Phans.

Pushing for them to have a relationship. Always pushing, dismissing the fact, that they always said, ‘My friend Phil’, or ‘My friend Dan’. Phil looked over at his younger best friend. He’d lost enough weight it was quite noticeable, and Dan had announced he was vegan.

Dan presently got off the phone, and managed another smile at his flat-mate.

“You okay Phil?” Dan asked.

“Yeah. I was just about to ask you the same question,” Phil answered.

“As fine as I ever am,” Dan answered, always answered. Had answered for the past year and a half.

They were learning and growing, and discovering things about each other. Like for instance, Phil liked to sneak cereal snacks in the middle of the night, as well as during the day. Dan’s cereal.

Dan liked to make glass of milk cereal, which consisted of him filling a glass full of milk, and then eating cereal out of the box, and taking a sip of milk. All whilst sat under the opened fridge door.

“As long as you’re still talking to me, then life’s fine,” Phil said.

“Why wouldn’t I talk to you? You’re the only person here, for one, and for another you’re still my friend. Right?” Dan said.

“Of course I am, no worries from me,” Phil replied.

“Good,” Dan said, a weight seemed to slip off of his shoulders.

A week later....

Dan was pacing about in his room. A regular occurrence as of late. Shouldn’t he be asleep? It was five am. They’d only just got to bed at about two. Phil thought of banging on the wall to announce that he was awake too. But ultimately decided that maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea.

Until.... He did bang his fist on the wall, what resulted was something he’d think about for years to come. Though the hurt would fade over time.

“WHAT?!” Dan shouted in reply to the noise on the wall, as he continued pacing.

“Just seeing if you’re alright. Do I need to come in?” Phil asked.

“No!” Dan said, as the shuffling became a bit louder.

“You need to sleep Dan,” Phil said.

“You’re not my real mum,” Dan retorted. Something shot through Phil. Something white hot, and he felt his fists clench.

He swung his feet over the side of the bed and he stood, and strode over to the door. He opened it, and went to Dan’s room. He didn’t bother knocking.

“Did I wake you?” Dan asked, and looked immediately contrite.

“I banged on the wall didn’t I?” Phil said, through semi-gritted teeth.

Dan hung his head. “Just thinking. I’ve a right to think,” Dan bit out.

“Yeah you do. But you’ve only just gone to bed. Or at least I thought you did. You said you were,” Phil said, in a soft voice.

“I couldn’t sleep. Isn’t that obvious?” Dan asked, gesturing wildly now.

“Okay....” Phil backed away.

“Just disappear then. Do what you always do. Go hide from confrontations,” Dan was baiting him now. Hating himself for it.

“I’m not disappearing. I’m tired. If you want to talk then come and find me,” Phil said a bit more gruffly than he’d intended.

“You’re a coward,” Dan said.

“I’m not. I just choose my battles,” Phil’s voice was getting gruffer.

He was starting to get angry.

“I’m going to go now before I say something I regret,” Phil sighed.

“Because you’re just a baby,” Dan baited again.

“You’re angry about this whole shipping thing. Don’t take it out on me! It wasn’t my Idea!” Phil exclaimed, making Dan jump a little.

“It wasn’t my idea either. But it’s not like we’ve been dissuading them,” Dan gestured some more.

“We’ve been vague. We can’t dissuade that many people. Besides they’re stubborn. We both know that,” Phil tried.

“I’ve been doing more than you,” Dan said.

“Stop it Howell!” Phil gritted.

“What you gonna do ’bout it Lester?!” Dan answered.

“I’m leaving!” Phil answered and strode angrily to his room, he jerked open the door really hard, and then slammed it harder than he’d intended; the wood splintered, and he fell onto his bed, feeling the tears come.

He could still hear Dan pacing, and he just curled up into a ball. His insides were hurting. He needed someone to talk him through this. It was almost time to go to his mum’s anyway.

Would Dan want to go with him? He wouldn’t ask tonight. He went back to sleep. Or at least he tried. He kept having weird dreams.....

Dan’s room:

“Oh Damn!!” Dan stopped pacing. Phil never got angry with him. Never. They’d always patched things up, but tonight? He’d baited Phil too far.

They’d discussed boundaries, they’d discussed rules. They’d put up their own walls to dissuade the shippers, which was not working. The shippers still pressed. He put his arms on his middle, and fell onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Would Phil still be his friend? Oh god. What had he done? He curled up into a ball, and just looked at the wall, contemplating death.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Dan repeated to himself.

“That’s not true,” he answered himself. “I need a snack,” Dan continued, as he opened the door.

He went past Phil’s room, and saw the splintered wood at the top corner of the door. “Damn Phil,” Dan said, as he heard faint sniffling coming from inside.

“Are we finally done? Do I go home with my tail between my legs, licking my wounds?” Dan asked himself, as he got out something nutritious.

Enough to keep him alive. He didn’t want to die. Not really, the wholesome part of his soul was keeping him alive at least. His nihilist side could care less. But for some reason he wanted to keep living. He wanted to still be Phil’s friend. What was wrong with him? If life had turned out differently he’d be....

“Stop it!” Dan hit his head with his palm.

“God dammit!” Dan groused, as he brought his snack to the floor and just sat there. But he didn’t eat.

He felt himself start to fall over. Best do this in the hallway. But he couldn’t be bothered.

“Maybe I’ll just hurt my face just right. Give myself a bruise,” Dan mentally mused to himself.

Phil found him plonked face first on the tiles, the milk overflowing in the bowl. He cleaned everything up.

“C’mon Dan....” Phil pleaded.

“I can’t,” Dan murmured.

”Yes you can. I’ll help you,” Phil helped him up, and like wounded soldiers, they made their way to the long, narrow hallway. Phil helped Dan plonk face first onto the soft carpet.

“You’ll feel better soon,” Phil mumbled, and hurried away.

“I’ll feel better when they stop trying to ship us,” Dan muttered.

Another year goes by it’s 2013:

They were working through their problems, trying to still dissuade their shippers, but at the same time trying to become comfortable with each other again. They’d started up their own merch. Martyn and his significant other, Cornelia, oversaw the production and distribution of the merchandise.

Dan and Phil came up with the ideas. It was comfortable for the most part.

But sometimes there were slipups and then would come the heated words. The slamming of the door, and then overwhelming silence. They couldn’t continue living like this. So Phil hit upon an idea. He texted Dan, even though they were still inside the flat.

‘Urgent: We Need To Talk! Phil’s text read.

Dan found Phil in the middle of the floor, his legs crossed underneath him, and he was staring absentmindedly at the palms of his hands. He was so concentrated on his hands, that he jumped a bit when Dan sat down next to him emulating the way Phil was seated.

“What?” Dan’s voice was clipped.

“Do you ever just look at the lines on your hands and wonder about who they were, are, in a different life? The lines on my palms are so fascinating, If I hold my hands up to the light, I can almost see right through them,” Phil murmured to himself.

“I’m right here; what do we need to talk about?” Dan asked, leaning over a bit so as to better hear Phil.

“Dan, I like you,” Phil started.

“Whoa! Hold on there. Where’s this going?” Dan held up his hands, and Phil grabbed the palms and held them up close to Dan’s face covering his eyes.

“Don’t look, but try and follow my logic, keep your hands over your eyes. Don’t uncover your eyes, until I tell you to.... Don’t move. Just breathe....You’re aware of your own breathing,” Phil said, and he smiled.

“Stop smiling and tell me what’s going on?” Dan tried to keep his temper under control.

“The hell?” Dan asked.

“The Game,” Phil answered.

“I like you Dan; when we did our first ever video together, the day we met, I thought to myself, ‘Self,’ I started.... I always start conversations like that....

Anyway... ‘Self, you see that guy over there? About yea high and carrying himself like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders? Self said yeah he did. So I convinced him, I convinced me, that I like you. Don’t worry, it won’t turn into anything. Unless you want it to. But ‘Self’ and I agree, that I adopted you.

You’re my best friend. You’re my kindred spirit. Whoever ships us? Who cares? We know the truth, we’ll be the only ones who ever know the truth. About us. Who we really are? I’ve missed being those two lads who met at the train station. I feel the tension now, and I start crying. Because you don’t want to sit by me. You don’t want to carry on our goofy conversations, because you’re too hell bent on telling the people that we’re ‘not gay’.

I want You, back Dan, I want us back,” Phil said, and his voice slightly shook as his hands trembled a little with unspent, un-exorcised emotion.

“I miss you Daniel Howell, and I want our friendship to be back on track,”

Phil took the moment to cover his own face with his palms.

Both were now blocking out the world, except Phil was sniffing intermittently, and then he started crying. Not soft cries, but deep from his soul crying.

What he referred to as ‘ugly crying’.

“I won’t tell our audience off anymore. I want us back too. And I don’t care if they keep shipping us. We’re each others’ best friends. We’re like brothers, except we’re from different mothers. I’m sorry for making you cry Phil. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. Let’s continue with how we were once. Carry it on, bumping shoulders whatever. I don’t care. Please don’t cry Phil,” Dan slowly lowered his hands, and he put his arms around Phil’s shoulders.

He lifted Phil’s back a little, so that his friend wasn’t hunched over. Then he full on hugged him.

“Whoa!” Phil looked up, and the last of the tears fell and splattered on his jeans.

“What are you saying Dan?” Phil asked.

“I’m saying; ‘Phil Lester, be my best friend’. With you by my side, I can carry the darkness inside me, with just a little more bravery . You’re always there for me. And somehow, I know you always will be. Even if, one day we’re at Wimbledon, sharing a bowl of Strawberries & Cream, but with two spoons,” Dan answered.

“Agreed,” Phil said, as he smiled at Dan through his tears, and he swiped his nose with the sleeve of his jumper.

“Now cheer up, and let’s get up off the ground. My legs fell asleep, and I’m suffering from internet withdrawals,” Dan stood, using Phil’s shoulder to stand.

“Careful, don’t fall over,” Phil smiled up at his flat-mate.

“I’m fine. How about you? Are your emotions in check?” Dan answered, as he made a beeline for his laptop.

“All’s okey dokey here,” Phil smiled back, and also went for his laptop. They sat down on the sofa, leg over leg.

“I need a coffee,” Phil suddenly said.

“Make it a double?” Dan asked.

“You’re so lazy,” Phil said.

“Yeah? Well you’re up, and I’m in my browsing position,” Dan shrugged.

“Alright. Two coffees coming up,” Phil smiled back, and he went to the kitchen.

“What do we do?” Phil handed Dan the coffee mug.

“What do you mean?” Dan briefly looked up from the monitor.

“About what we talked about?” Phil asked.

“Do what we used to do. Zero space. We can hit each other, make innuendos. Bring the wall down, bit by bit,” Dan answered.

“I like that idea,” Phil said.

“Me too. Who gives a damn?” Dan answered.

“The ravenous shippers,” Phil replied.

“I don’t give a damn about them giving a damn! And do you care about them putting us in fanfics?” Dan asked.

“Nope,” Phil answered.

“Neither do I. Bring it on!” Dan said.

“Wow, I’ve never heard you be so enthusiastic before,” Phil said.

“New year. New me,” Dan said.

“Well....” Phil was at a loss for words and sipped his coffee, turning on his laptop.

And so it happened the big turn around. 2015-Present Day:

“Well we survived tennis,” Dan said, as he headed to his room, to change out of his clothes.

“We got on television,” Phil said.

“And we shared a pic with strawberries and cream,” Dan said.

“I know; that was magical!” Phil replied.

“Your tongue looked hilarious,” Dan said, as he went through his shirts.

“Your tongue looked HUGE!” Phil exclaimed. “

”That’s not the only thing that’s huge,” Dan said, a grin in his voice.

“Stop that!” Phil half-heartedly chided.

“I can’t help it that it’s true, Dan came out in joggers, and his black and white long sleeved striped shirt.

Phil came out in his white kittens shirt and black jeans. They assessed each other.

“That’ll do,” Dan said of Phil’s outfit.

“Thank you! I picked it out just for you! I love what you’ve done to your hair,” Phil said, and gave a joking wink.

“You can’t wink worth shit,” Dan said, and punched him on the shoulder.

They ended up in the slounge.

“Well let’s snack and not watch anything. I’m going to hide in my room for seven weeks. It’s Game of Thrones,” Phil said.

“Same here.... You should see my list,” Dan answered.

“I saw. Why was ‘Get naked/Die Horribly From An Accident’, fourth on your list?” Phil asked.

“Priorities,” Dan shrugged.

“Good one,” Phil laughed.

“I know. I’m just that good,” Dan answered, blowing on his knuckles and rubbing them on his shirt sleeve.

“Hot!” Phil said.

“Thicc,” Dan answered.

Phil scrunched his face up.

“You know you’re my best friend,” Dan said.

“I did know, and thanks for reminding me,” Phil said.

“No problem,” Dan said, and they parted ways.

“You know Phil? Before I met you, the world was dark and lonely,” Dan said under his breath.

“Really?” Phil said.

“I’m glad it’s less dark and less lonely,” Dan amended.

“Thank you for being my friend Dan,” Phil replied.

“Thanks for building this, what we have with me,” Dan said.

“You’re welcome,” they said at the same time.

Then they parted ways, to do things without each other, but still keeping eyes on their accounts. It was a fun, breezy, interesting friendship. Nothing to worry about. Nobody to worry about. It was them. It was nice...It was.... Dan and Phil.

The End.

#Dan&Phil

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hopelesscobwebs · 8 years ago

Text

92 Asks Game!

I’m finally doing this. I thought it would be fun and i’m bored af so here we go:

Tagged by: @just-a-crazy-nerd love you <3

LAST

1) Drink: Water (gotta stay hydrated y’all)

2) Phone call: My Dad.

3) Text message: “My legs are dead. All I wanna do is sleep but I have to do music homework” to my friend like a week ago (I don’t text much lmao).

4) Song listened to: Sumertime, By My Chemical Romance

5) Time you cried: Maybe 2 days ago? (I was really sad over MCR), but the last time I really, like really cried was maybe last week.

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice: ahaha twice? You’re so funny. I haven’t dated someone once...

7) Been cheated on: My cat once slept on my sisters bed instead of mine so that counts.

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: What don’t you get about FOREVER ALONE HERE.

9) Lost someone special: Perhaps, It kinda depends really what you count as “lost”. But yeah, unfortunately.

10) Been depressed: I have been in dark mindsets a lot lately.

11) Gotten drunk and puked: Never been drunk before (I am so cool like that)

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Probably Blue, But to narrow it down: Teal

13) Rich purple

14) Probably black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: Tons (ilysm guys)

16) Fallen out of love: no (kinda yes... but William doesn’t count)

17) Laughed until you cried: Yes, Yesterday (we were bottle flipping and then someone made a seal noise, don’t even get me started)

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: Hopefully not, there’s not much to gossip about when it comes to me.

19) Met someone who changed your life: If Discovering MCR counts... then yes.

20) Found out who your true friends are: *Ahem*... yes...

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Haha this list of asks is so funny. what don’t you get about NOT BEEN KISSED EVER... *cries*

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: like almost 400? idek. (I know them all in person btw, i’m not one of those weirdos that just friends anybody). I barely use FB tbh

23) Pets: oh boy.... I have 6 cats guys... thats right, you can call me the crazy cat lady.

24) Want to change your name: My last name yes. Quick, somebody marry me

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: A Spongebob birthday cake, a Vampire Diaries pillow, depression um what... I got to eat all my fave foods in one day, that was pretty special even though i threw up at the end of it

26) Time I woke up: like 9:30?

27) Were you doing at midnight: Watching Frerard video edits...

28) Can’t you wait for: FOR ME TO ORDER MCR MERCH AS A TRIBUTE ON MARCH 22 *cries and dies*

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: like 4 hours ago.

30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: I sometimes wish I was born 10 years earlier but then I remember... there’d be no quality memes for a long time...

31) Are you listening to right now: MCR, what else honestly...

32) Gets on your nerves: When people make up those shitty things like “ UR NOT A TRUE FAN UNLESS YOU HAVE THIS OR DO THIS BLAH BLAH” like stfu, I am a fan in my own way. Racists, Homophobes, just basically anyone who thinks they have the right to tell you not to be yourself, like seriously, fuck off.

33) Talked to a person named Tom: My cat is called Tom, so that counts.

34) Is your most visited website: Tumblr, no doubt (or YouTube or guitar tabs, or Putlocker lets be honest)

35) Elementary school/primary school: I can’t even remember tbh and I ain’t tellin you

36) High School: The one I’m at now. Ha, got ya

37) College: n o , I am too young, gosh

38) Hair colour: Brown/ Blonde (streaks, naturally from sun lmao)

39) Long/short hair: I just cut it all off this year. Think 1920′s hair and that’s me.

40) Crush: There’s a cute guy in my chem class but that’s about it #foreveralone

41) Do you like about yourself: My final wakeup call of music interests. I used to be so shallow in that department. Um.... I guess I like the fact that I get on better with older people (I skipped a year at school so all my classmates are a year older anyways) idek. There’s not really much to like.

42) Piercings: 1 on each ear (i’m thinking of getting a second set) But I barely wear earrings tbh

43) Blood type: Idk, it would be cool to know tho

44) Nickname: Some of my friends call me Em but barely. Emy / Emz by family (if any of you call me that, it’ll be weird lmao) PLEASE START A TREND...CALL ME EM

45) Relationship status: single as a pringle and not ready to mingle please i have anxiety *daydreams about meeting perfect boy*

46) Zodiac: Scorpio yeah boi

47) Pronouns: she/her

48) Favourite show: Supernatural, Miraculous Ladybug (don’t call me a kid for watching it I swear I’ll end u ahaha), Rick and Morty, The Vampire Diaries... I could go on for days

49) Tattoos: I always think they’re a cool concept but i’d probably chicken out at the last minute, so no

50) Left or right handed: right

FIRST

51) Surgery: I got a tooth removed quite a few years back, I went under genral anaesthetic and everything.

52) Piercings: Ears

53) Best friend: Gabby, We don’t talk anymore sadly but I still love her <3

54) Sport: Ummm well i’ve always loved badminton but i’ve never taken a serious sport class before lmao

55) Vacation: I’m pretty sure it was to Melbourne, Australia, We saw some really cool outdoor art and went to see Wicked at some theater, that’s all I remember.

56) Pair of shoes: Say wat?

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: I wish I was eating

58) Drinking: the dead souls of my enemies wait what

59) I am about to: Rearrange my sitting position and continue to write this long ass ask thing.

60) Listening to: The End, My Chemical Romance

61) Waiting for: My sis to get home so I can use her credit card to buy MCR merch, no really, this is the truth. I n e e ed it

62) Want to see: MCR get back together in 2019 for at least a reunion song or SOMETHING PLEASE. Also, a Panic! concert because I missed the last one in my country. ALSO a Supernatural Convention

63) Want to get married: Well it would be nice, gotta find a guy first, there’s the hard part

64) Career: I never know... I like to think that my dream is to be in a band but that aint ever gonna happen. I really wanna do something that can help people idek.

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses: Well i’ve never kissed anyone and I lOvE HuGs, THEY ARE JUST SO NICE, LIKE AHHH GIMME UR LOVE, GIMME HUUUGGSSS. If I ever meet any of you in person, I’ll be really shy, but know deep down that all I wanna do is HUG YOU SNDKJGSND.

66) Lips/eyes: Eyes hold secrets, I love them

67) Taller/shorter: gimme da toll peeps, But I love the smol beans too

68) Younger/older: It depends

69) Romantic/spontaneous: probably spontaneous just to keep me on my toes.

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: um wat? idek i dont pay attention to that

71) Sensitive/loud: Sensitive

72) Hookup/relationship: Relationship definitely

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: Hesitant alien

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: W h A t D o N t Y o U g E t A b O u T i T... I AINT KISSED NOBODY BEFORE. gosh, way to rub it in *cries*

75) Drank hard liquor: well. i’ve tried some heavy stuff before but it was a sip and I spat it out coz it literally tasted like p o i s o n. Alcohol is so gross

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don’t need glasses

77) Turned someone down: ??? There hasn’t been anyone to turn down god damnit

78) Canoodling on a first date: They gotta earn that, so no

79) Broken someone’s heart: I sure as hell hope not.

80) Had your own heart broken: mcr breaks my heart E V E R Y GOD DAMN DAY

81) Been arrested: no, I am a good gal

82) Cried when someone died: yes, my grandmother

83) Fallen for a friend: Oh boy, yesyesyes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Not really, but I want to.

85) Miracles: I wish for them but I don’t really think they occur

86) Santa Claus: No, I actually never believed in him when I think about it

87) Kisses on a first date: YAS when it’s been all perfect and he walks ya up to your door ABJISLBHDLBHLA

88) Angels: um... Castiel???

89) Love at first sight: Yes but not like first sight, more like first discussion, when you can instantly click with someone in that first moment idk.

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: Can I just list all my tumblr friends names? Because YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY ALL MY FAVES, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU <3

91) Eye color: Grey Blue

92) Favourite movie: idek there are so many but: The Abduction Club, is one of my faves, Singin’ in the Rain, Sing Street, and that’s all that’s coming to mind atm.

I tag: (all my BEAUTIFUL AMAZING tumblr frens I mentioned before) @omg-i-cannot-even @shipsareamazing123 @mychemicalchinchilla @potterlock5ever @immacrazyfangirl @trashholeofshittybandstuff @shadowgirl077 @that-awkward-fangirl @lizbeth-loves-bobear @anyone i forgot and anyone who wants to do it! go ahead! <3

#asks game #i tag you #tags #tag game #frens #questions #yay #92 asks game!#i love you all so much

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