#i miss having time to fuck around!!!!!!!! yall when i think about school for too long i get SO stressed out knowing how its sucking the lif

[luvergirl-866]

that’s so true

word count - 8.3k

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

c/w - language, toxic p/toxic relationship (situationship) (kinda toxic a too)? i guess you could call it angst? but it’s very unserious bc i’ve been doing too much serious stuff. fluff and happy ending. very dialogue heavy

a/n - i don’t usually like to incorporate music into my fics but the anon who gave this prompt specifically recommended it so i hope i did it justice! also, this takes place azzi’s freshman year so like 2021/2022, and i know this song didn’t exist then but this is fiction so i can do what i want 😛. hope yall enjoy!!!

They only have five minutes before they’re supposed to leave with everybody else to Ted’s. Unfortunately for Azzi, Paige Bueckers is very hot and also very much on top of her, and both of these things coincide to create quite the predicament: they can’t stop kissing.

It’s normal for them, lately. Kissing is easier than talking, considering talking has gotten harder since they started—whatever this is. Or maybe restarted is a better word, considering they did this same thing in high school. But back then, the kissing was a little clumsier, often fast and desperate, whereas now they’re older, mature (yeah, right) and they take their time with these things, often just making out for hours before they move on to other things, relishing in not having to worry about either of their parents or siblings barging in on them like they used to.

There’s also another difference—back then, they were dating. Like, introducing each other as their girlfriends, going on dates, holding-hands-in-public dating.

That’s different because today—and for the past six months—they’ve been decidedly not dating.

“We don’t need distractions,” Paige had said after they’d fucked, only a month after Azzi came to UConn. (They had both agreed to stay just friends—best friends—but nothing more. But then they had to live in the same building and watch each other get all hot and sweaty at practice and see each other in skimpy pajamas and who were they to blame, really, when they fucked in that club bathroom one heated but sober night? They had spent a year broken up, a year of being long-distance besties, FaceTiming and texting and posting each other on socials with captions like “happy birthday i miss you” and “come see me”. It honestly would’ve been wrong for them to not fuck.)

“Mm—Paige, wait,” Azzi whispers when they finally separate for air.

“What’s up,” Paige says, eyes roving over every inch of Azzi’s face. Her voice is a little raspy from lack of use and it does things to Azzi’s tummy.

“I—you don’t—we need to go,” Azzi urges, pushing at Paige’s shoulders. Paige, of course, just smiles at that, pressing her knee up in between Azzi’s legs. It’s really not her fault when she gasps a little.

Paige chuckles, leaning down to kiss her forehead, then between her eyebrows. “Do we?” she mumbles, pecking the tip of Azzi’s nose and the corner of her mouth. “Like, do we really?”

“Yes, Paige, we do.” Azzi moves one of her hands down to Paige’s occupied thigh, trying desperately to separate the toned muscle from her aching core. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Definitely not as much fun as this is.”

“Well, we can continue later, when we get home.” That gets Paige to move her knee back, offering Azzi both relief and leaving an ache between her legs. She does her best to flash a sultry smile. “It’s a weekend. We can stay up all night if we want.”

Paige looks at her skeptically. “I thought you were stayin’ sober?”

Azzi moves her head back and forth. “Might not.”

“For real?”

“Uh-huh.” Azzi winds her arms around Paige’s shoulders, then scratches a little roughly down the length of her back, something Paige has always been into. It works, Paige’s jaw dropping just enough to show the pink of her tongue. “I want it, too, P. We just can’t ditch the team again. I think they already suspect us.”

“What?” Paige makes a face and scoffs. “Nah, we’re sneaky.”

“You called me babe in front of everyone at practice.”

“That’s a friend thing.” Paige waggles her eyebrows and plants a kiss on her lips, as if to prove just how friendly they are.

“Nika saw you basically groping me the other day, too.”

“I never did that.”

“My apartment, the kitchen. Movie night. I was making popcorn and you came up behind me and grabbed my tits.”

“Hm. Don’t remember that.”

“You said ‘I wanna fuck you from behind right now,’ and poor Nika walked in and stared at us and said, ‘This doesn’t look like you’re making popcorn’.”

Paige groans, dropping her head into Azzi’s shoulder and effectively laying the entire length of her body on Azzi’s. “I did wanna fuck you from behind. You were wearing those jeans…”

“Paige!”

“Okay, whatever.” Paige is a little muffled now, buried in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Her breath tingles, sending hot shivers up the length of her arm. “I do that to everyone, Nika won’t think anything of it.”

“Oh, really,” Azzi says, tone dropping into something utterly unamused, and Paige’s head pops up when she hears it. “So you say things like that to every bitch?”

Paige’s eyes widen. “No!” she grapples for something to say, and Azzi just raises an eyebrow at her. “I don’t—I meant—I just didn’t wanna admit you’re right, I wasn’t—baby.” Paige juts out her bottom lip. It kinda works. “You know I wasn’t thinkin’.”

This is another interesting thing about their current situation: because they’re not dating, they’ve never discussed where they stand in terms of other people. Sure, at the very beginning, they agreed since it was just casual sex, there was no reason for them to be exclusive. They didn’t want to get anywhere near that line of the all-consuming, intense relationship they had in high school, and they figured seeing other people—or at least having the option to do so—would steer them clear of that. And it worked for about…two seconds.

But then somewhere down the line things got a little blurry and slowly but surely Azzi stopped thinking of them as friends with benefits and as more of a slightly complicated but also fun situationship. Because at some point they started kissing without the goal of sex or even third base, just little pecks here and there when they had a second alone. And then they started staying a little longer each time after they’d fuck—at first, they’d leave directly after. But then they would stay for some basic aftercare, and then it got to full-on snuggling, and then it got to their clothes in each other’s apartments from how often they’d stay the night with each other. And the most recent development which really cemented things for Azzi: Paige has started using pet names outside the bedroom, something she only ever did while they were girlfriends. It’s only been a few weeks since this started and Azzi was absolutely floored when Paige had picked up her phone call with a, “Hey, baby.”

And now here they are, late for yet another night out because Paige is very clearly scandalized at the mere notion of her seeing another girl—even though it’s supposed to be allowed—and Azzi has to be honest, she doesn’t love the idea, either.

“Aw, c’mon,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t reply. “Don’t be mad at me, mama.”

Azzi blinks up at her, officially not jealous and not overthinking about their complicated situation any longer. “You’re stupid,” she teases, scooting back and sitting up.

Paige follows closely, so that by the time Azzi is propped up against the headboard she’s on her lap. “You’re really stopping us?” she asks.

“We’re already late, I’m sure everybody left without us,” Azzi says, tapping Paige encouragingly on the hip, “so yes.”

Paige doesn’t yet move and doesn’t look like she’s going to until a sharp knock at the door makes both of them jolt. “Hey!” It’s Aaliyah’s voice. “Y’all cannot be taking this long to get ready.”

“I don’t…we just…” Azzi stammers as Paige scrambles off her, and they both get quickly to their feet, making as little noise as possible, “our hair wasn’t cooperating,” she says, reaching up to fix Paige’s tousled hair. “We’ll be right out!”

“You better be, we’re all waiting outside and it’s fucking cold.”

“Coming!” Azzi calls, letting Paige wipe some of her smudged lip gloss, rolling her eyes when Paige smirks at her and says, “Oh, you will be.”

She has no idea what Paige Bueckers is to her, but an annoyance will always take the top spot.

————————————————

When Azzi had claimed she’d stay sober with the other freshmen, she hadn’t accounted for the fact that she has a best friend who loves to party and who loves peer pressuring even more.

“C’mon, just a few shots,” Paige pouts, leaning in too close to her. Azzi glances around the bar, trying to see if anybody is watching them, but she can’t tell. There’s too many people.

“Nobody can hear us,” Paige assures her, placing her hands low on Azzi’s hips, pressing her into the wall of the corner they’re semi-hidden in.

Azzi swears this girl is horrible for her blood pressure. “Paige,” she hisses, removing Paige’s hands, “not here.”

“You shoulda let us stay home,” Paige says, and now that her hands are placed firmly at her sides her eyes do all the wandering for them, raking slowly down Azzi’s body and back up. “I woulda had you fucked out by now, I swear.”

“Oh, I believe you,” Azzi mumbles.

“You seem anxious, baby.” Bravely, Paige holds her again, though this time it’s at a more friendly place, higher up on her waist. Azzi tries to meet her eyes but they’re held firmly on her lips. “Fuck. I wanna kiss you so bad.”

“No, Paige,” Azzi says, as sternly as possible. She would rather like to kiss her too, but not here, not now, not when Paige is tipsy and Azzi is horrendously sober.

“Okay, I’ma go get me another dirty shirley.” Azzi swears she would marry that drink if she could. “And I’ma grab a couple shots for you while I’m at it. And then we’re gonna fuck in the bathroom.”

Azzi smacks Paige on the arm. “I’m done with public restrooms. Once was enough.”

Paige, still sober enough to have some sort of common sense, wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, you’re right. But I’m still grabbing shots.” She smacks a wet kiss onto her forehead and with that, turns around to head toward the bar.

Azzi doesn’t get a second of peace before someone else is sidling up to her. Though when she looks over she sighs with relief when it’s just Caroline. “Hey, Carol.”

“You’re so lucky you have a girlfriend who’ll buy you shots,” Caroline says, looking wistfully in Paige’s direction.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Caroline side-eyes her. “Uh-huh.”

“She’s not. We broke up.”

“And then got back together.”

Azzi shoves her away before pulling her back, linking their arms together as she leads them towards their team’s section of seats. “Nope. We’re still exes.”

“Exes who are romantically involved.”

“Carol,” Azzi groans, urging her to shut up as they approach the rest of the girls. “We’re just friends.”

It used to leave a bitter taste in her mouth, lying to her closest friend, the one whose shoulder she cried on when she and Paige broke up. But after six months of doing it, she’s used to it. And it’s not like Caroline believes her, anyway.

“Okay,” Caroline says skeptically. “So if the guy that’s been looking at you since we got here asked for your number, you’d give it to him?”

They’re at the team’s booth now, and Amari perks up at the mention of the slightest possibility of drama. “What guy?”

“I haven’t noticed a guy,” Azzi says, which is the truth. As it usually goes, she’s only had eyes for Paige tonight.

“Over there,” Carol says, leaning against the table and gesturing subtly across the bar. ��Muscle shirt.”

“Immediately no,” Azzi replies, not even looking for him in the group of guys across the room. But he must be actively searching her out because just as she’s about to look away she catches his eye, and even though she immediately looks away, she can still see him grin out of the corner of her eye.

“Uh-oh,” Amari mutters. “You engaged him.”

“Don’t make eye contact,” Azzi says, turning away from him to face her friends. “Make yourself unapproachable.”

Caroline turns away, too, and the two of them lean over the table.

Aaliyah looks up from the conversation she was having. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Hiding,” Azzi hisses.

Amari peeks around Azzi’s shoulder, then settles back in her seat. “He’s coming over.”

“What?” Azzi wants to look at him but doesn’t, instead inching herself closer to Caroline. “Save me.”

“Who is that?” Aaliyah asks, not-so-subtly staring at the guy.

“A man about to flirt with Azzi,” Caroline says, nudging her away.

“Oh, Paige is gonna be maddd,” Aaliyah sing-songs, and they all giggle like this is funny and not absolutely awkward and stress-inducing.

Azzi glares at them. “She has no reason to be mad.” And it’s true, she kind of doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean she won’t.

“Oh, yeah?” Caroline asks, glancing behind them just as Azzi feels the man come up behind her. “We’ll see about that.”

And then there’s a tap on her shoulder, and Azzi takes a deep breath before turning around with a strained smile on her face.

“Hey.” Muscle shirt is standing a little too close for comfort, which she’s sure he’ll excuse by the crowded bar but is obviously just him being weird. “You’re Azzi, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi says, leaning back against the table.

“I’ve seen you around,” he continues, smiling cockily, obviously very proud of himself for being brave enough to approach her. “You come here a lot, right? To Ted’s?”

Azzi shrugs, looking casually to her side in the hopes that Caroline will rescue her, but to her astonishment she has slid into the booth next to Aaliyah and is now chatting happily with the rest of the team. “I guess.”

“Noticed you weren’t with Bueckers,” he says, and she winces. Not five sentences into the conversation and he’s already brought up her current situationship. “Thought it was a good opening.” He laughs. She doesn’t.

“How so?” she asks, a little nervously.

“I mean, she obviously doesn’t want anybody coming near you.” A girl squeezes past behind him and he takes it as an excuse to inch even closer to her. Azzi presses herself further back into the table. “Can’t even look your way without her looking like she’s gonna fight someone.”

“She’s just protective,” Azzi says. As if Paige would do that for any of their friends, as if that level of pure possessiveness is normal.

“Right.” He doesn’t sound fully convinced. “You didn’t ask my name.”

God. Why are men so…gross? “My bad.” He stares at her expectantly. “Uh…so…?”

“I’m Elliot,” he says, grinning at her. That muscle shirt is really not doing good things for him. “You want me to buy you a drink?”

“Um, actually—“

“She’s good.”

Azzi’s shoulders sag at the mere sound of Paige’s voice. She can’t help but smile when Paige approaches them, moving roughly past Elliot to sidle up next to her. She hands her two brightly colored shots before slinging an arm around her, firmly ignoring Elliot. “Gotchu these. Lemme know if you don’t like ‘em.”

Azzi nods, and usually she’d shy away from the physical contact, especially right in front of their friends, but now she leans into it, safe under Paige’s arm. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I took so long.” As if sensing her discomfort—which she probably can—she rubs her thumb soothingly over her shoulder. “They’re super busy up there. You okay?”

Azzi opens her mouth to respond, but Elliot interrupts her. “She’s fine, dude. We’re just talking.”

Paige looks at him. “Aight. Well, you can be done talking now.”

Their teammates have gone mostly quiet behind them, and Azzi rolls her eyes when she hears them snickering.

Elliot scoffs, but he’s skinny and a little shorter than Paige, and when her arm tightens around Azzi’s shoulder he puts his hands up. “Damn, okay.”

Azzi breathes a sigh of relief when he’s gone. “Thank god. That was so awkward.”

“You shoulda called me,” Paige says, dropping her arm to turn around and face their teammates. “And y’all shoulda helped her out.”

The girls look up at them innocently. Amari smiles charmingly at Paige and says, “We knew you were gonna do it soon enough.”

Azzi shakes her head and downs one of the shots. It is as disgusting as it looks.

“You guys suck,” Paige says, pulling Azzi into her side once again. “Leaving my girl in the trenches like that.”

Dozens of eyebrows raise at that, and it’s then that Azzi smells the booze on Paige’s breath. She flushes, trying to pull away. “P,” she mutters.

“I know,” Paige says, holding fast to Azzi’s waist, setting her shirley on the table so she can wrap the other around her, too.

“Paige,” Azzi urges, pressed completely now into Paige’s chest and trying desperately to ignore the scrutinizing looks from her teammates. She hopes they’re all too drunk to think hard about Paige’s behavior.

“Yeah,” Paige says, her hand creeping slowly down Azzi’s back.

“Did you have another drink?” Azzi asks, trying to walk them away from the booth, but Paige keeps her feet planted.

“I might’ve had another shot.” Paige grins, and Azzi would easily admit she likes it a lot more than muscle shirt’s. “Missed you, baby.”

The girls are pretending not to eavesdrop, but they’re clearly listening, sharing furtive glances with each other. Which is just—great. Because tomorrow the girls are going to have questions and Paige will be sober enough for that to stress her out, which will in turn stress Azzi out, and there will be no saving face if she lets Paige continue on like this.

“Not now, Paige,” she hisses, trying desperately to push her back.

Paige pouts. Their faces are far too close together. “What, you wanna go back to that guy or sum’?”

Azzi knows she’s not serious, but it still annoys her, and she doesn’t feel quite as comforted in Paige’s arms anymore. “Seriously, I’m not in the mood.”

Paige scoffs, maybe a little more serious now. “Course you aren’t.”

Azzi blinks at her, and when Paige’s hands drop to her sides she takes a step back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno.” Paige gestured between them. “Just that you never wanna be around me unless we’re fu—“

Azzi’s overstimulated and irritated, but she still has enough common sense to shove Paige hard enough to shut her up. “Don’t.”

Paige watches as Azzi drinks her other shot. “What? You really don’t want anybody to know, huh? You that embarrassed or something?”

Azzi shakes her head in disbelief, stepping back towards Paige so they can at least have this conversation too quiet for anybody to hear. “Are you dumb? You’re the one who wanted to keep this secret.”

“Because I didn’t want my teammates thinking I was distracted!”

“Our teammates, Paige.” Azzi gives her another little shove for good measure, and then she steps away again. “You’re acting stupid. Go chill out and come back when you wanna be normal.”

“Fine. I will.” With that, she turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd. Azzi rolls her eyes at her hot-headedness. They’re both too stubborn for their own good, but Paige is ten times worse when she’s drunk and Azzi has always been more logical. Little, senseless arguments like this never happened when they were dating—or even when they were broken up—but now that they’re at this weird in-between, they’re becoming more frequent.

Hence why they prefer to kiss instead of talk.

Azzi plops down beside Amari, grateful when nobody questions her, and feels a little better when she thinks about how good the make-up sex will be later.

—————————————

There will be no make-up sex tonight. Or ever, Azzi thinks bitterly, glaring daggers at the girl Paige is currently feeling up.

Okay, feeling up might be an overstatement. She has a hand on her arm. But Azzi knows better than anyone that for Paige, hand-on-arm action might as well be foreplay. And the girl seems to sense it, too, if her batting eyelashes and twinkling smile have anything to show for it.

“She’s just doing it to make you jealous.” Once again, it’s Caroline, sidling up next to Azzi to study the tall blonde across the bar.

“I have no reason to be jealous,” Azzi all but spits out, and Caroline smirks.

“Pretend all you want, Az. But it’s impossible to not see what’s going on with you and her.”

“There’s nothing.” Paige’s fingers trail down the length of the girl’s arm and it’s almost like Azzi can feel it, too.

“Are you guys exclusive?”

“No,” Azzi responds immediately, too tipsy to be thinking straight, and when Caroline smiles proudly to herself, she backtracks. “I mean, obviously not. We’re not anything.”

“Well, if you’re not exclusive, she’s not doing anything wrong.”

Azzi hates this bitter reminder and turns her anger onto her best friend. “Shut up, Carol.”

“You two should probably talk about not seeing other people,” Caroline says, as wise and perceptive as ever. (She is also significantly more sober than Azzi is.)

“She can see whoever she wants,” Azzi seethes, stirring the ice in her drink. “I don’t care.”

Paige’s eyes flit from the girl’s face to Azzi. And then, with a little smirk, she leans in to whisper something in her ear, blue eyes never leaving brown as the girl giggles and grabs onto her arm. She smiles, too, and Azzi takes some satisfaction in the fact the girl has no idea she’s not the one Paige is doing this for.

She’s always been good at putting up a show. And Azzi has always been her captive audience.

Not tonight, Azzi decides as she looks firmly away. It’s about time Paige learns to behave herself.

—————————————-

It’s been a long night of drinking and trying not to watch Paige attach herself to this random girl’s hip when Azzi is approached by none other than random girl herself.

She’s gorgeous up close, but Azzi can’t help but notice her brown curls and crescent dimples, the way they’re the exact same height. It nearly makes her laugh.

“Hey,” the girl says, dropping into the bar seat next to Azzi.

“Uh,” Azzi says, vey tipsy and very irate. “Hey.”

“What’s that? It looks so good,” the girl asks, pointing to her drink. Her voice is soft and kind, nothing malicious gleaming in her eyes. Azzi hates it.

“Just a mango daiquiri,” Azzi responds, kind of unable to be snarky about it with the wide-eyed way the girl is looking at her.

“Oh, fancy! I’m definitely gonna cop that.” She smiles conspiratorially at her. Azzi can’t help but smile back. Okay, now she just kind of hates herself. She’s never been one to be rude to girls she’s jealous of. Especially not harmless, sweet ones.

“It’s so good,” she’s saying before she can help it. “And they come in all different flavors so there’s like, endless possibilities.”

“Stop,” the girl gasps.

“I know!” and then they both giggle like the tipsy college students they are. This is possibly even better than hating her, because it’s almost like a smack in the face: look at me, Paige, being the bigger person. Making best friends with your target of the night. How’s that feel?

“Hey,” the girl giggles, leaning her elbows on the bar. “You’re Azzi, yeah? You play so good.”

“Thank you!” Azzi gushes, flashing her dimples as the girl does just the same. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Haven,” she replies. Even her name is nice. Azzi thinks about how Paige must’ve thought the same thing when they met a few hours ago, but she doesn’t like the thought, so she pushes it firmly away.

“Hey,” Haven says, sounding suddenly hesitant. “Um, I actually wanted to ask you something. About…Paige?”

Azzi’s eyes snap to where the blonde sits at the team’s booth—she always seems to know where Paige is in a room, though she never remembers tracking her movements—before she quickly looks back to Haven. “What about her?”

“Well…that,” she says.

“What?” Azzi asks, stirring her drink casually.

“The reaction you just had to me saying her name.”

Okay, so Azzi apparently does not appear as cool and collected as she thought. “Oh, that was just—I mean, she’s my best friend.”

“Yeah?” Haven asks. “Because I kinda got the impression y’all were…”

“No,” Azzi says, trying to contort her features into something like disgust. “Ew. Never.”

Haven raises her eyebrows. “Never?”

Why is everybody deciding to clock Paige and Azzi’s shit tonight? “Okay, like, maybe at one point. But it’s over.”

“Really.” She does not sound convinced at all. Glancing over at Paige, Haven leans forward, as if she’s afraid they’ll be heard. “It’s just, she keeps looking at you and you keep looking back and she was all over you earlier, so like—“

“I wouldn’t say she was all over me.”

“She totally was.” Haven’s looking at her like she’s clueless. “I just…listen, Paige invited me over tonight.” Azzi’s stomach drops. So definitely no make-up sex then. In fact, Azzi might as well pack up her vagina right now because Paige has ruined everybody else for her, too. “And I don’t wanna get in the middle of anything,” Haven continues, completely oblivious to Azzi’s internal vow of celibacy, “especially nothing messy.”

“Yeah, no, I totally get that.” Azzi sighs heavily; considering their situation is exactly what one might describe as messy, Azzi figures it’s probably the right thing to do to tell this poor girl the truth. “To be honest, we kinda are…I dunno. I mean, we fuck.”

“Okay,” Haven nods, sounding not at all surprised.

“She stays over most of the time. I stay at her’s sometimes, but she mostly stays at mine.”

“Spare toothbrushes in each other’s bathroom?”

Azzi winces. “Possibly.”

“Yeow.”

“And, like, generally, we don’t see other people. We used to, at the beginning, but not anymore. We were just talking about it today, actually. Well, not talking about it—we don’t talk about stuff. We’re not serious enough for Paige to wanna talk about stuff.” Azzi is rambling now, and Haven is hanging onto her every word, and Azzi thinks she loves making fast friends with other girls then realizes this is the exact thing that happens every time she gets drunk. Perhaps she crossed over that line awhile ago.

The two of them have their heads close together now, the rest of the bar completely shut out. “But anyway, she said something and I was like, what, you say that to all your bitches? You know, mostly joking but not.”

“Of course.”

“And she was all, no, baby, I would never ever have other bitches, don’t be mad,” Azzi says, deepening her tone in a stupid caricature of Paige’s voice.

Haven gasps. “That was today?”

“Like ten minutes before we came here.”

“And then she was all up on me tonight.” Haven glares in Paige’s direction. “Damn.”

“I know. But like, yeah, we’re not exclusive or anything so it’s fine. But it’s not, you know?”

“Oh, for sure. That’s fucked up,” Haven says haughtily. “So, wait, how long has this been going on for?”

“Uh…six months?” but no, that doesn’t feel right. “Well, I guess, like, four years? But six months.”

Haven blinks at her.

Azzi sighs. “We were super serious in high school.”

Haven nearly screams, slamming her hand on the bar. “She’s your ex?”

“Yes!” Azzi cries, and it feels so, so good for someone to understand her situation. “We were so in love and shit! And then things started feeling weird the summer before she came here—because, like, I’m a year younger than her so she was gonna be in college while I was still in high school and I—I could tell she didn’t wanna be tied down by her lame hometown girlfriend so I ended things.”

“Girl!” Haven yells.

“I had no other choiceeee,” Azzi groans. “She woulda broken up with me if I hadn’t broken up with her.”

“You’re crazy,” Haven says, shaking her head. “That girl is down bad.”

“Stop,” Azzi says, waving her off.

“She is, horrendously.” Haven gestures over to Paige. “As soon as you got to UConn she wanted to start something with you, right? And then y’all have a little tiff and she’s doing the most with another girl just to get your attention?”

“She asked you to go home with her,” Azzi points out. “That definitely wasn’t for my benefit.”

“Um, I’m sorry, have you not noticed how scary alike we look?” Haven asks, and Azzi flushes. “She was definitely gonna pretend I was you. Which I’m not down for, like, at all.”

“She’s such a dick,” Azzi says. Because she may have been in love with Paige Bueckers since high school, but yeah, she’s still kinda a dick.

“Totally,” Haven agrees. “But…

“Don’t tell me you’re about to defend her.”

“Listen!” Haven places her hands on Azzi’s shoulder. “I think her heart’s in the right place. She wants you. She’s just a little…misguided.”

Azzi shakes her head. “She was the one who said we couldn’t be serious. She said we couldn’t have ‘distractions’.”

“And you didn’t stop to think that maybe she was still insecure and hurt by the fact you broke up with her and was protecting herself from getting hurt again?”

Azzi blinks at this drunk, genius girl in front of her. “Whoa.”

“Yeah. You know what, I’m starting to think maybe you’re both a little stupid.”

Azzi shoves her. “Don’t get so cocky, you could be wrong!”

“I could,” Haven admits. “But where would that leave you? With an asshole ex-girlfriend who messes with your head for fun?”

Azzi thinks maybe, if they didn’t look so uncannily alike, she could kiss this girl. “I love you.”

“Girl, I love you more.” Haven pats her arm and leans back on her barstool. “Now take Auntie Haven’s advice and give her the silent treatment for a few days. She’ll realize her mistakes and come running back real quick.”

“What if I don’t wanna take her back?” Azzi says, already knowing it’s bullshit.

“You do. But you gotta make her work for it. And then you have to communicate with her.”

Azzi makes a face. “Didn’t I already tell you we don’t like talking?”

Haven rubs her temples. “There’s your main fucking problem, Azzi.”

It’s then that Haven’s eyes trail to something over her shoulder and before Azzi can ask there’s a large, warm, all-too-familiar ringed hand on her shoulder. “What’re you two talking about over here?”

Azzi looks first at the hand on her shoulder, then slowly up to Paige’s face. Paige raises her eyebrows, waiting for an answer, and then Azzi looks back at Haven, meeting her eyes.

And then they laugh.

“What?” Paige nearly demands.

Azzi brushes her hand off, still giggling. “Leave us alone, Paige.”

“I just didn’t know y’all knew each other,” Paige says, and Azzi delights at how confused she sounds. “Because you two seem pretty buddy-buddy over here.”

“Didn’t realize you were watching so closely,” Haven quips. Azzi giggles.

“Never said I was.” Paige moves from behind Azzi, going to stand beside them, studying them closely. “You two are drunk as hell.”

“So are you!” Haven and Azzi both say at the same time, and tears are forming at this point. Azzi holds on to Haven’s knee to keep herself from falling off her chair.

“Aight, yeah, I’m getting you an Uber,” Paige says to Haven, before touching Azzi’s arm, “And I’ma walk you home.”

“I can get my own Uber,” Haven says haughtily, but Paige already has her phone out.

Once again, Azzi bats Paige’s hand away. “I don’t wanna go home with you.”

Paige rolls her eyes, still navigating through her phone. “I figured, Az. But we live in the same building. Just lemme walk you.”

“You’re not sober enough to walk me.”

“I’ve been drinking water for the past hour, I’m pretty much good.” Paige shuts her phone off and looks at Haven. “You car’ll be here in fifteen.”

“Wish you were pretty much good a couple hours ago,” Azzi grumbles.

Paige’s expression becomes a little less nonchalant at that. “I know, mama, we can talk about it tomorrow.”

And that almost works. But then Haven sends her a warning glare and she straightens up. “No, thanks.”

Paige’s face scrunches up like it always done when she’s shocked, and Azzi hates that it’s still the cutest thing in the world. “Whatchu mean?”

“Exactly that,” Azzi says, standing from her barstool. Her butt is sore from sitting for so long. “And I’ll walk home with the rest of the team, thanks.”

Paige splutters. Haven gives her the middle finger.

—————————————

Later, when they are walking home—stumbling, more accurately—Azzi is leaning against Aubrey when she hears familiar footfalls coming up behind them and braces herself.

“Hey, Azzi,” Paige calls, catching her arm as she catches up. “Come walk with me.”

“I wanna walk with Aubrey,” Azzi says petulantly.

Aubrey looks awkwardly between the two of them.

“Bro, just—“ Paige stops, mindful of their audience. “Let’s just talk, okay?”

“No, thanks.”

“Azzi, c’mon.”

“I’m drunk and I’m cold and I’m mad at you. Leave me alone.”

Paige looks desperately to Aubrey for help. Aubrey just shrugs and says, “What’m I supposed to do? She said what she said.”

“Thank you,” Azzi huffs.

“Man, fuck this,” Paige says. Azzi feels very satisfied when Paige falls back, leaving her alone. But her arm also tingles where Paige had caught it.

Oh, yeah. This makeup sex had better be good for the trouble she’s going through.

—————————————

It isn’t until the next day that, during a car ride with Caroline, Azzi disovers it.

The two of them have always had similar music tastes, so when an unfamiliar song comes on over the speaker, she’s a little surprised. However, as she listens to the lyrics, she finds herself even more surprised at how much they resonate with her.

I could go and read your mind

Think about your dumb face all the time

Living in your glass house I’m outside

“Hey,” she says, “what song is this?”

“That’s So True,” Caroline answers, still staring ahead at the road. “By Gracie Abrams. Why?”

Looking into big blue eyes

Did it just to hurt me, make me cry

Smiling through it all, yeah, that’s my life

“Oh,” Azzi says casually, “no reason.”

——————————————

It becomes very apparent there is a reason when, over the next week, the song becomes everyone else’s problem.

So apparent, in fact, that the team actually starts to worry about her.

“What did you do to her?” Aaliyah asks as soon as Paige walks into the apartment.

“You broke her,” Amari says.

“That stupid song kept me up all night and it’s your fault,” Aubrey continues, pointing menacingly at Paige.

“I didn’t do nothing!” Paige says, backing away from her angry friends.

“You better fix it,” Amari says. “Like, now.”

“Fix what?”

Oddly, they all go quiet at this. Paige is about to ask what’s up with them when music begins blasting from somewhere in the dorm.

“That,” Aaliyah says.

Paige scrunches her nose. “Bad pop music?”

“It is not bad,” Caroline says defensively, joining them in the entryway. When she gets judgmental looks from the other girls, she sighs. “Okay, it wasn’t bad. But Azzi’s been listening to it nonstop for a week and it used to be my favorite song and now I’m sick of it.”

“We’re all sick of it,” Amari adds unhelpfully.

“I still don’t understand what this has to do with me,” Paige says, but of course she’s lying. From what she can make out the lyrics are about a break up, maybe, something to do with jealousy and anger. With the way Azzi’s been dodging her this week (calls sent straight to voicemail, texts left on read, not even a hint of eye contact when they see each other) she knows she fucked up at the party.

It’s not like them to fight—really, it’s not. They’ve gotten into more arguments this year than they have in their entire friendship. Obviously, there’s a correlation there, something major signaling that this whole friends-with-benefits thing doesn’t work for them. Or maybe it does. Maybe it’s the whole best-friends-who-dated-then-became-exes-then-friends-with-benefits thing that they can’t do.

But either way—fights? Like, actual fights that Paige can’t talk (or kiss) their way out of? Those are rare.

She didn’t think their argument at the bar was that big a deal. Didn’t even think her flirting with another girl would make Azzi mad. (She’d been hoping for jealousy because dysfunctional as they may be, the sex is really good and it’s even better when one of them is all riled up).

She has a sneaky feeling this all has to do with that girl at the bar. Haven. The cute one who looked a lot like Azzi and seemed super into Paige until she turned around and became best friends with none other than Azzi herself. She should’ve known that would happen. Azzi always makes friends when she gets drunk.

She just wishes this bout of silence (and celibacy) between them would end already.

“You can’t be serious,” Amari says.

Paige shrugs.

“We all know you two are fucking, Paige,” Caroline says quite bluntly.

And, okay, the sheer panic that Paige feels at this is maybe a little ridiculous.

She never wanted the team—anyone, really—to know she and Azzi were back together. Because, well, they weren’t, for one, and there’s no good way to tell your parents, “Hey, you know how I was super emo about how the love of my life broke up with me before college? Yeah, well, it’s been a year and I’m not totally over it but I fucked her in the bathroom at a club and we’re going steady—as in, fucking—now!”

But the main reason she didn’t want anybody to know is because she was—is—so afraid of having her heart broken again. And if she keeps this to herself, then she gets to act like she doesn’t care if history repeats itself. Gets to move on and not think about it and use other people as rebounds without anybody batting an eye.

But it’s been six months of them going from friends with benefits to best friends who also kiss and have sex to best friends who kiss and have sex exclusively with each other. She may have gotten a little too cocky, may have thought they were finding solid ground, and may have not put so much effort into hiding it.

But Azzi hasn’t spoken to her for a week and she doesn’t even remember what solid ground feels like anymore so yeah, the notion of her friends knowing about them when they may be on the brink of ending is a little scary.

“Okay,” Amari says tentatively when Paige stares blankly at them, “don’t freak. It’s not a big deal. We don’t care.”

“No, I—I know,” Paige stutters.

“Seriously, P, it’s cool,” Aubrey says, patting her shoulder. “Just, you know, go fix it.”

That song has played three consecutive times since this conversation started. They may be right. Paige might’ve broken her.

Might’ve broken them.

“And while you’re at it,” Caroline adds, giving her a little push in the direction of Azzi’s room, “make sure you guys are official so we don’t have to deal with this again.”

Paige tries to plant her feet to prevent her advance towards Azzi, but Aubrey rounds to her front and starts pulling at her arms while Amari pushes and then she’s directly in front of a door with a pink ‘welcome’ sign hanging off the front. As that song thuds accusingly through the door, Paige doesn’t feel very welcome.

“Okay, stop being a pussy,” Aaliyah pipes up from behind them, “and go in there. Please.”

“Make it stop,” Aubrey says. She almost sounds like she’s about to cry.

Paige stares at them, wondering if they’re really going to make her do this. But they all nod at her before disappearing down the hall so it’s just Paige in front of Azzi’s door and she could leave, could just go back home but she’d never hear the end of it from her teammates. (And she might end up hating herself if she does that, too.)

So, with a deep, steadying breath, Paige lifts her fist and knocks.

“Coming,” Azzi calls. Blessedly, the song turns off and there’s some rustling inside before the door creaks open.

Paige expects a lot of things when Azzi first sees her—anger, upset, a door slamming in her face.

What she doesn’t expect is the satisfied smile that flits across Azzi’s face before she carefully fixes her expression into something more somber.

“Uh, hey,” Paige says. “Can I—“

“Come in,” Azzi says gravely, opening the door all the way to let her through.

“Uh, aight.” Nervously, Paige walks past Azzi, a little afraid that is some sort of trap based off the strange way she’s acting. Once she’s inside and the door’s shut, she faces the younger girl, though doesn’t quite look her in the eye. “So, I just…you know, about the other night. At Ted’s.”

Azzi nods. “Go on.”

“Well, I know I started that lil argument and I feel bad.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I was just drunk and I wanted your attention so I acted stupid.”

Azzi crosses her arms impatiently. Paige wishes she had written this down and practiced beforehand or something.

“And with that other girl—“

“Her name’s Haven,” Azzi says sharply.

Paige blinks at her, surprised. “Yeah. Her. Well—“

“She’s actually really nice. We’ve been texting.”

Paige can’t help but scoff a little at that. “What, you gonna leave me for her or sum’?”

“We look related, so no,” Azzi says, raising an eyebrow. “And if I remember right, I thought it was you asking her to come to your place that night.”

Shit. So the two of them really did talk about everything. That’s not great for her.

“I didn’t mean it,” Paige says, which is very much true—she doesn’t know what she would’ve done if Haven had agreed to come over that night, but she certainly wouldn’t have kissed her. “I just, we were arguing and I wanted to make you jealous so we could, like, kiss and make up.”

Azzi crosses the room to sit on her bed, and Paige hovers awkwardly, wondering if she should follow. She decides on staying put. “I was jealous,” Azzi says. “But it just pissed me off.”

“I know, and it was a stupid thing to do.”

“I just—I thought we weren’t really, like, seeing other people.”

Paige freezes. This is completely outside of argument-at-Ted’s territory and it seems a little more like serious-talk-about-us time. Which Paige is just not prepared for at all. She should’ve made notecards for this.

“I mean—we aren’t—but, like…” Paige trails off, and she knows it’s bad how uncertain she sounds when hurt flashes over Azzi’s expression.

“Have you? Been seeing other people,” she asks, and Paige can tell she’s trying to sound nonchalant, putting on a brave face, but in reality she’s terrified of the answer.

Paige rushes to reassure her. “No, Az, no. Not a—seriously, not a single person. Not since that day at the club.” Not since the day Azzi came to UConn, if she’s being a little more accurate. But Azzi doesn’t need to know that.

Again, Azzi tries to act like it doesn’t affect her. But Paige knows her far too well—far too intimately—to miss the way her features relax, her shoulders lowering just a little bit. “Me neither,” she says softly.

Paige lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding at that. “Okay.”

“So…what does that mean?” Azzi asks tentatively.

Now that Azzi seems a little less guarded, Paige takes her chance to sit beside her on the bed, though not too close. “I dunno,” she says lamely, but when she’s met with a heavily annoyed silence, she sighs and tries desperately to think something up. “I mean. We can’t really be casual and exclusive. That’s not really how that works.”

“Yeah,” Azzi says.

Paige waits for her to pick up the conversation at least a little, but she doesn’t, and Paige is forced to go on. “I don’t—I think it’s not even something I want anymore. The whole casual thing.”

It’s hard, getting the words out, like each syllable is a barrier being broken, and maybe it is. Paige looks down at her hands, fiddles with them, anything so she doesn’t have to watch Azzi’s reaction.

“Paige,” Azzi says quietly.

And when Paige catches the hesitancy in her tone—the fear—she is suddenly too desperate and maybe even too in love to keep quiet just because it’s hard. Because she can’t do this, not again. She can’t watch Azzi walk away without at least putting up a fight.

“I know what I did was wrong,” Paige blurts out before Azzi can say anything else. She looks up, stares at the wall ahead, before turning to Azzi. She tries to detect the look in her eyes and what it may mean, but can’t. “At Ted’s. And I’m sorry. I guess I just—these past six months have been so—I mean, they’ve been good, but they’ve also been super fucking confusing and kinda scary, too. It’s like I’m always on edge waiting for you to end things, so whenever we get too close to how we were—before, in high school—I back out, no matter how hard it is. No matter how good it feels to have you again.”

Azzi opens her mouth, the beginning of a word escaping, but Paige’s heart races and she stands, stopping her. “But I’m realizing that I don’t think I can do that with you. I don’t think I can be just friends with you, or friends with benefits, or even whatever the hell it is we’ve been doing. Every day since you ended things I’ve been a fucking wreck, Azzi.” And it’s true. Her freshmen year had been hard, spent sleeping with random caramel-skinned, dimpled girls to try and fill the Azzi-shaped void in her heart. And the summer after was hell, too, reconnecting with Azzi long-distance and trying to become friends again, acting like they were never anything more. And the past six months has been the worst of it all, because having Azzi but not really having her, keeping her at an arm’s length and teetering on this edge of will she do it again and when will it happen proving almost painful.

Azzi stands, too, stepping in front of her, tilting her chin just slightly up to make eye contact like she’s always had to do. “I didn’t want that, Paige,” she says, almost as if she’s pleading. “I wanted—I thought you’d have more fun if you were single. I thought you’d resent me for, like, tying you down.”

Paige looks at Azzi for a solid few seconds, trying to discern whether she’s fucking with her. And when Azzi doesn’t laugh or tell her this was all a stupid prank she turns around, pushes her hand through her hair, and then faces her again. “Are you fucking for real?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says sheepishly. “I thought—I don’t know. I was also sixteen and stupid and insecure, and I just wanted to make you happy. I didn’t think about what I wanted.” She looks down at her feet. “Didn’t realize how hard it’d be.”

“Yeah, you were stupid,” Paige snaps, and when Azzi flinches, she takes a step towards her. “You really thought that I’d—what, not want you? Want to fucking break up so I could hoe around?”

“Kind of!” Azzi says, throwing her hands in the air. “Things already felt off that summer before you left—“

“Because I didn’t want to leave you!” Paige practically shouts, and she wonders briefly why they never bothered to discuss this before. “I had no idea what I was gonna do when we were so far apart, but you know what? We could have handled it. We could’ve handled a year. I wanted to handle it, if it meant we could stay together.” She takes another step closer, so they’re face-to-face now. “I thought you were bored of me or sum’, you know? I was so fucking hurt.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you!” Azzi cries. “Obviously I wasn’t bored, Paige, or I wouldn’t have jumped your fucking bones the minute I got to school.”

“And obviously I didn’t wanna be single or I wouldn’t have let you!”

Silence washes over them, and Paige is sure she could hear a pin drop, almost as sure as she is that their teammates are thoroughly listening to this argument outside the door. But she doesn’t care. Not when she’s looking close-up at the girl she’s loved forever and seeing her for the first time in almost two years—inches apart without hidden hurt or secret regrets tucked between them.

They’re both breathing heavy, both affected by everything they’ve just said and everything that still needs to be said but it’s not a surprise that they hold each other’s gazes, both too stubborn to be the first to look away.

And when the eye contact becomes too much for Paige to bear, she decides she will not chicken out, will not let her trepidations hold her back this time. And she leans forward and kisses her.

They’ve kissed—a million times, probably. Maybe more. At this point, they’ve learned each other down to the last breath, the last hair on their heads. They know exactly where to put their hands, exactly how to tell what the other is feeling based off the way they move their lips, exactly what things to say in between kisses. But despite all that, this—this feels brand new. Gentle, and tentative, but excited, too, like they know it’s the mark of something different. Something better.

———————————-

A week later, when Paige appears at her doorstep with a nervous little smile and flowers to take her on their second-first date, Paige asks her about the ‘lame girly song’ she’d been playing on repeat. Azzi tells her the song is not, in fact, lame, and is actually really quite good. She doesn’t admit that she can’t listen to it anymore.

(And, because I know you’re all wondering—yes, the makeup sex was as good as Azzi’d hoped.)

[leyyvi]

i miss pwasoi :C

yeah me too i should probably write it

[dinogoofymutated]

SFW!Colossus/Fem!Reader

I've been infected with another fictional man the way in which I pumped this out was ridiculous. I happened to re watch the scene in the movies where the government breaks into the mansion and seeing Piotr act like a big brother/dad to all the kids really got to me. That and the Deadpool movies (even though I thinks he's a little stuffy in those.) I even rewatched the episode he had in the animated series so that I knew I would get his character right and DAMN ugh god I juts have a thing for big men with soft hearts. especially the ones who are family oriented.

ALSO HOLY SHIT TY FOR 600 FOLLOWERS???? when did yall get here???? I swear I was at like 48 two weeks ago lmao time flies when you're thirsty for the X men I guess!! TWs: None? No pronouns mentioned but I went ahead and labeled it as fem because it's basically about kids forcefully adopting you as their mom. Kids having night terrors mentioned.

Can you imagine sort of just being adopted by the students at the mansion as mutant mom?? At that point you don't really get a choice. Like you start out being very patient with these kids and making sure to keep bandaids, burn cream, pain meds and all of that because one way or another something is gonna happen- and you want to be prepared.

And then you start making breakfast. I feel like normally they probably have a schedule for who has breakfast duty but if you wake up and can't go back to sleep and you take over no one really cares. More sleep for them!!

And then a few times turns into every morning. And you're setting out ketchup for one kids eggs and syrup for another ones hashbrowns- and making sure not to cook with nuts and make sure there's at least three different things on the table that are Kosher or gluten free. Keeping an eye on everyone as they come to get food and noting who did and did not make it to breakfast this morning so that you can make sure they eat later-

And one day you're waking up at 5am and getting ready for the day so you can go make breakfast like always, and you look in the mirror at some point and just realise, holy fuck, when did you become a parent?

It's such a regular thing for kids to call you mom at that point, a knowing how so many of them have come from rough backgrounds, it makes you really happy to know they find comfort in you and will come find you if they need comforting.

And then there's Piotr. Big, strong, Piotr. Piotr who wakes up before dawn and does chores around the mansion in the early morning air. You can take the man out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the man. He does the lawn care, chops wood, takes care of whatever animals that might need feeding, replaces the feed in the bird feeder.

Piotr who makes sure to stop by the kitchen to share a small cup of coffee with you before he does chores. Piotr who hangs Hummingbird feeders right outside the kitchen windows because you mentioned you missed the ones your grandmother used to hang. Just Piotr, being strong and masculine and an absolute sweetheart.

He reminds me of that one quote that heard somewhere about masculinity being about protecting femininity, not rejecting it??? That one!!!

Kids call him dad all the time, and even though yall aren't even together, you become the parents of the school. Scott and Jean?? Love them, but they don't have that same kind of parent energy.

It's such a regular thing for kids to find the two of you interacting one way or another. Someone woke up way too early and enters the kitchen to find yall during your coffee, and there's a sweet moment with yall telling them to go back to bed, or offering to make them a quick breakfast. Maybe if they're really young Piotr will offer to tuck them in. He might be really blunt when telling them there are no monsters, but will be a little more gentle when you set a hand on his arm and give him a bit of a look.

The kiddo asks for both of you to tuck them in and you obviously aren't going to refuse them. Which leads to everyone wanting both of you to tuck them in and soon enough you two are doing curfew checks instead of the professor.

It's becomes so regular for the students to treat you two as their parents, and no one actually believes it when they find out that no, you're not a couple. So, they do what kids do and try to get you two together.

First it starts with making sure you two are sat together during everything they can get away with. Then it moves on to things like mistletoe (out of season, Piotr mistook it as an accidental bloom made by one of the agrokinesis kids and took it down) and then more mischievous plans like telling one of you that the other needed help with one thing or another, knowing that either one of you would help out at the drop of a hat. Sureee, they were lying, but you two didn't know that. (most of the time)

The kids just want to see their parents happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's not like You and Piotr hadn't been helplessly pining for the other the entire time anyway.

You sigh deeply once you finally sneak out of the dorm room, Piotr right behind you. The tall man takes extra care to shut the door very gently, making sure it clicks in place just as silently.

"I thought we were never going to get her to sleep." You whisper to him. One of the youngest girls attending the school had a rather difficult time with night terrors, and would struggle to fall asleep without being tucked in. When you and Piotr were doing curfew checks tonight, she was the only kiddo still awake, and she had practically begged both of you to stay with her untill she finally did fall asleep. It couldn't be just one of you, It had to be both. No matter how many rooms you both had to check tonight, you would never have left her shaken up in such a state. You just hadn't expected it to take an hour.

"Illyana had similar dreams as a little one. It takes time for children to overcome it." Piotr whispers back as you begin to walk down the hallway to check the rest of the rooms. Even when he whispers, his voice is strong and hard to keep quiet. You know there's truth to what he says, and yet you can't help but wish you could do something more to help her with her nightmares. You rub some warmth into your arms anxiously as you think about it, surprised when you feel the warm weight of Piotr's hand settle in between your shoulder blades.

"You're worrying again." He states, frowning slightly when you look up at him. You send him a resigned smile, before it quickly falls as you look away.

"I can't help it. I worry about all of them, her especially. They just... deserve so much more than their lot in life." You say. Piotr hums in response, his thumb brushing idly against your back.

"Their life like us, you mean? Mutants?" His question makes you wince.

"No. Yes? I don't know. I just... I just wish that we could give them more than... this." You say, waving your hands to motion about the mansion. "The school might very well be the only safe space they have their entire life. The world hasn't been kind to them, and I'm not sure it ever will be." Your words begin to quiet down as you finish the sentence, lowing to a whisper that only he can hear. You'd never, ever want any of these kids hear a word of what you're saying. Knowing that hope is really all they have at their age, and you of all people refuse to be the one to destroy that beautiful childlike optimism.

"That is what we are working for as the X-men, yes? To change that?" Piotr asks you point blank, his hand moving up towards the back of your neck in a soothing manner that still gives you goosebumps, feeling the comforting heat of his hand even stronger than before.

"Yeah, but..."

"Then we are doing all we can." He finishes, a smile on his face that's so determined and confident that it very nearly changes your mind completely. Nonetheless, it's a reassuring smile that makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy. You smile back at him finally, and you swear you see fondness in his eyes.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are finally at your door. You give Piotr a short and sweet goodnight as you begin to step inside, but he stops you before you go, gently catching hold of your arm. For the first time, you think you've seen him debate on his words. His mouth opens, but he doesn't speak at first, and you swear you see a blush rising to his cheeks as he does so.

"You'd make a good mother." He says eventually, and it makes you smile widely.

"You'd make a good dad." You tell him. There's silence between you as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face in a fond and caring manner, and you swear you could trick yourself into believing that you and Piotr were already in domestic bliss if this moment goes on for any longer. The tall man leans in, and you find your mind short circuiting as he presses a kiss to your forehead. The simple action somehow leaving you beyond flustered.

"Sleep well, Любовь моя. I will see you in the morning." Piotr tells you, before walking off at his regular stiff pace. You stand in your doorway for a minute, watching him leave with a bit of a confused smile on your face. Out of all the Russian nicknames he's called you in the past, you had never heard him say that one before. You wonder if you should pick up a book on the language as you close your door and finally crawl into bed, although part of you is content to leave it be. Colossus had always been blunt, and you're sure he'd tell you eventually. You fall asleep just as you always do, excited to see him when you wake up in the morning.

[disappointmentofthefam]

Love? Love. (part 2)

Andy Barber x Reader

warnings-age gap,slow burn,smut

i hope yall enjoy this, i wrote it from the pit of despair.

p.s.- i promise you dom daddy andy is cumming soon ;)

..................................................................................................................

The night following the fateful events of Andy sweating like a damn teenager after meeting y/n had resulted in restless sleep sprinkled with incessant thoughts of her. Did she have a boyfriend? hmm that would be bad But the thought of her being available is somehow worse damn it Andrew! You are not a silly little boy anymore, you are a grown ass man and you can talk to a girl without giggling and kicking your feet in the air! As the morning rolled in, it seemed like Andy's prayers were answered as a smiling Y/n was once again at his doorstep. she looked different in the morning, somehow more majestic.Still in her sleep shorts and her hair in a messy bun. lips looked plumper somehow, hints of slumber still in her eyes. "Good morning Andy", she grumbles. " Good morning, angel," Andy tries to test the waters, "missed me so soon?" fuck! I sound like a creep! maybe I should jus- His thoughts are interrupted with a soft giggle, "Yes, Mr. Barber, you couldn't possibly fathom how hard it was for me to spend all that time away from you", she rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless. there's some truth to it, she couldn't exactly shrug of the feeling of….. um…. Andy from her heart and her mind and especially her pussy. the low vibrato of his voice was enough to cause her to flood with heat and arousal, "yes Andy! right there", His tongue lapping at my cilt I bet he's a fucking munch when it comes to eating out I bet he's a biter I bet he'd slap my face with it I bet he was one for holding me down and pounding me into the mattress I bet he'd cum in m- GIRL- IT'S 9 IN THE MORNING

She does that thing again, where she tries to divert her eyes from the man in front of her, "um, I think the mailman might have accidentally delivered our stuff to you." The sudden shyness in her demeanor doesn't go unnoticed by Andy's watchful eyes. "I just had Jacob bring in the mail, why don't you come in and make yourself comfortable while you sort through the stuff?", he ushers her inside. Jacob's eyes light up as he sees her, "Y/n! I was just thinking about you! my chemistry grades are sooooo tanked and i need your help", he looks at Andy, "Dad, would it be alright if y/n tutored me?" "Sure, Jake, I mean if she finds time in her schedule", they look at y/n for an answer. " Sure thing, I'm free by 6 p.m. on weekdays after classes, I think I could fit you in around…seven?" "Done", Jacob smiles at her as he grabs his school bag and slings it over his shoulder, " I'll see you tomorrow then? at seven?". "Yeah, at seven". " Bye dad, love you." "Love you too." With that Andy and Y/n fall into a comfortable silence as she sorts through the mail and separates the ones meant for her house. "Can i ask you something?" Andy breaks the silence. "You just did", y/n smirks at him. " Okay, smartass," Andy can't help but smile at her 12-year-old-boy-esquè-humor. "Can i ask you two things then, " Andy leans forward from opposite to her on the dining table, enjoying the back and forth between them. "Go ahead, jeez it's like a question paper come to life",y/n bites her lower lip in anticipation. Andy tries a more casual, less creepy approach, "How do you find the time to tutor after coming home from college? I mean you wouldn't have time for other things like for example, uhh a boyfriend." Y/n's cheeks turn red and she again diverts her attention from Andy, "I don't have one, Mr. Barber"

The admission makes Andy's stomach flutter with a sense of relief and something else…..a wave of pure and primal desire. She looks up at Andy with a flustered smile and lustful, hooded eyes, looking like the perfect mix of a nymph and a virgin, "is that what you wanted to know Andy? because let me tell you, you weren't being very subtle." she teases. "What if I did, sweets? What if I wanted to know if there was a limpy ,lacking frat boy who was doing nothing but disappointing you every time he touched you?" Andy's eyes go darker, the blue ring of his eyes being engulfed by his blown out pupils. "Well then Mr. Barber, let me tell you that i don't have any frat boys disappointing me at night," she leans in closer, so much that Andy can feel her warm breath on his lips, "what are you gonna do about it?" Almost.

This six letter word was the bane of Andy Barber's existence. She was so close, I could smell the faint smell of vanilla on her skin. She was so close, I could see the tiny freckles by her nose. She was so close, so, so close. Our lips almost touched Almost. Suddenly, the door opens and then shuts close and the sounds of progressing footsteps breaks them apart. "Hey, I just forgot my phone here." Jacob doesn't question the awkwardness in the room as he grabs his phone and leaves once again. In a frenzy, Y/n collects her mail and leaves for the door too, "I'm sorry if I overstepped Andy, I swear it won't happen again." Her voice small and choked, but I fucking hope it does happen again and again and again and again Amused by her nervousness, Andy tries to speak, but before he can get her attention, she has already left. Well she'd be here again at seven tomorrow, right?

[lexisecretaccx]

High School Sweethearts pt. 10 - Chris Sturniolo

PT1, PT2, PT3, PT4, PT5, PT6, PT7, PT8, PT9, (other parts in my Masterlist!)

(Fem reader x Chris sturniolo, arguements, mean & suggestive comments about y/n, idk)

A/n: bro the negative tension and uncomfortableness in this part is too real.. y/n eats Evan up at the end yall.

“Good looking too.” My mom raises her eyebrows to me and smirks, “yep.” I awkwardly say before turning back around on my heels and going to walk up the stairs, “wait, I wasn’t finished talking.” My mom spoke, her happy tone faltering slightly. I turn back around and she motions for me to sit on the couch.

I sit down and she sits in the arm chair opposite me, “what?” I ask impatiently, “watch your tone.” She tilts her head and clears her throat before continuing and I look down at my hands, “The Watsons invited us for dinner later.” My head shoots up at her, “you’re talking about the Watsons as in Evan Watson?” My eyes widen.

“Yeah and I said we’d go, for old time sake.” She smiles, completely ignoring the discomfort in my body language and voice. “No.” I scoff before standing up and walking to the stairs, “excuse me? You are coming, they miss seeing you!” My mom tries to convince me. “No!” I repeat, “their son is an asshole who treats girls like shit!” My tone loudens and my mother’s smile drops.

She walks towards me her teeth gritted, “We are going, maybe Evan will be nice.” I scoff and roll my eyes, “I shouldn’t even be letting you do anything nice after you attacked Evans best friend.” My mom hisses, “I’m doing this so you can have a nice future!”

“No, you’re doing this so you can have a good reputation and you want me and Evan to end up together so you’re the mother of the girl who married into the Watson’s family,” I walk closer to her, “I said this yesterday, me and Evan are never going to be together.” I rub either side of my temples.

“Evan probably won’t even be there, since he has friends.” My mom swallows angrily, “he won’t?” I ask again, not truly believing her. “I’ll ask them now,” she pulls out her phone and starts typing.

5 minutes later she smiles, “I just checked with his mother and he’s not gonna be there because he’s got football practice.” She smiles, “you comforted now?” I shrug. “I’m only coming because I don’t think I have another choice.” I walk up the stairs, “put on a pretty dress!” My mother calls up.

We have to leave at 5pm, it’s 4pm right now, I call Chris and he picks up instantly, “you okay?” He asks, “no, I have to go for dinner at.. guess whose house.” I answer, “I don’t know.” He replies confused. “Evans house, apparently he won’t be there but my mom is forcing me to go.” I whine, “what the fuck.” Chris says, “I know, I’ll text or call you if anything goes wrong.” I look through my wardrobe, “yeah do that, promise me you’ll be okay.” Chris spoke softly. “Yeah of course, I gotta get dressed now but I’ll talk to you later?” I ask, “yeah of course, talk to you later ma.” He hangs up.

I put on a purple dress, I look in my mirror, that dress makes you look fat. Evans words rang through my ears, this was the dress I wore to my 16th birthday party, but he made me feel so bad about myself, not a good memory attached to this dress. I rip the dress off and grab a red satin dress that I had, I can’t remember when I got it.

I slip into the dress, it’s a dark red and backless, it goes to just above my knees, I don’t know if it’s too revealing but I’ll pair it with a jacket for my own comfort, I grab a creme jacket and do my hair and place a creme bow in the back. I look down at the blood stained ring on my hand, the blood wouldn’t come off even in the shower.

I shrug and keep it on.

“You look, nice.” My mom says, she’s wearing a black dress that goes just past her knees, she’s wearing black heels too, I’m just in white sneakers. She looks at my choice of footwear and rolls her eyes, “come on.” We walk outside and into the car. At this point it’s 4:57pm and we should get there at 5:15, knowing it’s only a 15 min drive to his house.

We pull into his large driveway, his massive house infront of us, three stories and very victorian style. I don’t even know how we got together in the first place since he was rich as fuck and I was.. managing to get by.

“Brings back old memories huh?” My mom smiles at me, I shrug. The only memory it brings for me is the time he tried to, you know.

We knock at the door and Evans mom, Katherine opens the door, she looks at me and smiles. “Don’t you look so beautiful!” She pulls me in for a hug and I stand rigid. “Thanks.” I whisper. “Evan will be happy to see you.” She replies, I instantly look to my mom who awkwardly looks away and smiles at Katherine.

She leads us into the house and me and my mom follow, “you said he wasn’t gonna be here!” I whisper yell, “there was no other way to get you to come.” She keeps a straight face and doesn’t look at me. “You’re a liar.” I sigh and she ignores me.

We walk into their massive living room, the tall windows and ceiling haven’t changed much. I see his father James walk up to us, he looks at me and then at my mom and quickly back to me, he smirks at me “you have grown up in the past year huh?” He looks me up and down, causing me to wrap my jacket around me further, I shrug.

I sit down on the large couch next to my mom as she talks to Katherine and James, Katherine directs her attention to me, “so.. how’s school?” She asks smiling kindly, Katherine is the only one of the Watsons that has some sort of genuine niceness to her.

“I don’t know..” I mumble, “She’s lying.” A voice comes from behind me, Evan. He sits down next to me and looks at his mom, “she’s a trouble maker now, it’s the boy she hangs out with.” He looks at me smirking, I have felt eyes burning into me the whole time I’ve been sat here, James is staring but not in a normal way, he’s always been kinda pervy.

“Oh? Who’s the boy?” Katherine asks me, “its-” Evan goes to speak but I cut him off, “I can speak for myself, his names Chris.” I glare at Evan before smiling at Katherine. She nods.

A lady walks into the living room, “dinner is ready.” They are so fucking rich they have a chef and a maid. We walk to the dining hall and I sit down next to my mother, Katherine opposite my mother, James at the head of the table and Evan across from me. The maid places the plates in-front of us, it’s steak.

I drown out the conversation between my mom and Katherine, James adding into the conversation too. I feel someone kick my leg under the table, I look up at Evan and he’s grinning, I roll my eyes and continue to move my steak around the plate. “Doesnt y/n look beautiful?” Katherine asks Evan and James, Evan shrugs but James replies, “she’s growing into an attractive young lady, yes.” He smirks at me.

His eyes seem to be not focused on my face but my chest. Evan clears his throat and goes to speak, “so you finally watching your weight or something? Because you haven’t touched the steak.” He spoke to me, an evil smile creeps over his face, I don’t have a reason to watch my weight, Evan is just a dick who likes to make me feel bad about myself.

My mother smiles at him, not even defending me, Katherine nudges his elbow. “That is not how you talk to a woman Evan,” she spoke angrily and looks to me before smiling, “ignore him darling you’re gorgeous.” James obviously agrees with her, creep.

“Do you two talk in school?” My mother asks Evan, pointing between me and him. I shrug, “stop shrugging its rude.” My mom quietly hisses to me, “you could say that.” Evan smirks. My mom looks at me with hope in her eyes, “if you’re talking about threatening me and being rude to me and my boyfriend then yeah I guess we do talk.” I scowl at Evan.

Katherine looks to Evan in confusion, Evans brows knit together and tilts his head glaring at me before turning to his mother, “what does she mean?” She asked him, “she’s lying.” Is all he answers with. “You always accuse me of lying especially after..” Evan clears his throat loudly, cutting me off.

I stand up and lean on the table “Can I use your bathroom?” I ask urgently. Katherine nods, “of course, you remember where it is?” She smiles awkwardly, “yeah.” I say and walk out the dining room. “Sorry about her.” I hear my mom say.

I get in the bathroom and lock the door behind me, looking in the mirror. “Fuck this.” I whisper. I hear a knock on the door, “what?” There’s no reply so I open the door, Evan is standing there looking down at me.

“Fuck you scared me.” I flinch. He chuckles, “I’m sorry about what happened in there, I don’t want to be there just as much as you.” He whispers, leaning in close to me. “I doubt it, it’s your fucking house I never wanted to come back here.” I look down at my feet, feeling intimidated by his light green eyes, staring into my soul.

“So he’s your boyfriend now?” He asks me smirking, I nod uncomfortably and push past him before walking out in the hallway. “Wait.” He says and grabs my arm turning me around to him. “Let go.” I say coldly and he does. “It was kinda badass of you to beat up Michael.” He leans into me again and I lean away. “Yeah I guess.” I awkwardly spoke.

“Your knuckles are cut up huh?” He grabs my hand and his thumb grazes over my knuckles causing me to squint in pain. “Don’t do that.” I stare at him angrily, pulling my hand out of his grip. I turn around to walk away again and he smirks following behind me. “I’ve redecorated my room, wanna see?” He asks me from behind, the obvious grin in his voice.

“Of course!” I sarcastically say, flashing him a fake smile. “Of course not. I don’t want to go to the exact room you tried to attack me in.” I continue walking down the hallway and he grabs my shoulders, stilling my walk. “Maybe I wouldn’t have almost done that to you if you weren’t such a pussy, at that rate you’re gonna be a virgin forever.” He whispered into my ear.

Anger fills my face, who does he think he is? He has no right to say shit like that. “No I won’t.” I laugh, knowing that I’m not a virgin and when he finds out he’s gonna go mad. “Oh yeah?” He asks and I continue walking, him next to me.

“Did you see Chris at lunch?” I ask him, obviously he didn’t because Chris skipped so he could be with me. “No, nobody knew where he was.” He replied, I smirk, “I knew where he was.” I look up at Evan and I point at my chest. He tilts his head, “oh really?” He smirks down at me raising an eyebrow.

How big is this fucking house, I’ve been walking around in circles because Evan keeps fucking distracting me. “Yep he was at my house,” Evans smirk drops, and I grin up at him, “guess what we were doing.” I glare at him, lowering my tone.

His eyebrows furrow, “what?” His voice softens, “it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out, me and Chris in my room, in my bed.. home alone..” I slow my tone at the end of it and I wait for Evan to realise, a smile creeps across my face as his face switches to shock.

“You weren’t.” He whispers, his ego has clearly taken a hit as his face drops. I nod and smirk before walking away back into the dining room, “can we go?” I ask my mom, making her jump as I came up behind her.

“Fine, we’ve finished eating anyway.” she looks at my half eaten steak and at the maid cleaning up the dishes. Evan looks very offended and doesn’t speak. “Have you two sorted your differences?” Katherine asks as we leave the dining room, “something like that.” I look up at her smiling before throwing Evan a snarky look, he just glares at me.

We walk to the door and Katherine hugs us goodbye and this time I actually hug her back.

My mom gets into the car and so do I.

A/n: y/n is actually a girl boss, Evan fuck outta here tryna manipulate her by being flirty. Also James can make his way to the ‘to catch a predator’ set because he’s a perv!

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @accio326 @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @stingerayyy2 @freshsturns

—💋——📷——‼️——💌———❤️———💌——‼️——📷——💋—

[alexfromjersey]

𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓼 & 𝓕𝓪𝓷 𝓓𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓼

jenna ortega x g!poc

summary: jah submits a demo. jenna gets questioned by hudson. fans start to piece things together

warnings: mature language

a/n: I want to quit my job 🙂. I wish we got paid to write fanfiction. I walked 14,987 steps in one single shift

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

🤰🏻����

@modernbussywhip: AIGHT I NEED EVERYONE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME

@ghostridingwhip: aggressive for wat tho?

@modernbussywhip: SSSHHHHHH I HAVE NEW INFO BOUT JAH'S MYSTERY GIRL! I have two potential candidates and please note that one of them is a little bit of a surprise

@highondatgreen: i thought it was clear that I'm Jah's girl

@ghostridingwhip: @highondatgreen whatever u smoke...slide some over here

@ghostridingwhip: @modernbussywhip who are the candidates 👀

@modernbussywhip: ALRIGHT CLASS IS IN SESSION. Now like I said i have two candidates but it could be more cuz we all know Jah is a hoe...a respectable one tho but i digress.

@modernbussywhip: CANDIDATE NUMERO UNO: Stacey Vernon, a popular social media influencer on TikTok. She has a twin sister Diana and with Davis, they all attended school together (as she has mentioned in a TikTok video). They were together at Stacey's birthday party not too long ago and even though Jah shut the rumors down of them being together...we never know when it comes to Shiesty.

@fnthechat: geeeeezzzzz if this Jah's girl....

@behindthespecialk: I love jah but there's no way jah bagged her

@shiestylover: @behindthespecialk: whoa whoa not u doubting my girl's ability to bag bad bitches. you must not seen her roster 😏

@behindthespecialk: HOW?!?! @sheistylover

@shiestylover: she just built like that 😏

@modernbussywhip: LMAOOO while we can admire the untouchable rizz Jah has later....we should move on to candidate numero dos because this one...is a little out there but plausible.

@modernbussywhip: CANDIDATE NUMERO DOS: we all know her, we all love her and it's Miss Jenna Ortega. Now now now before everyone start think pieces just look at my evidence ok come come....evidence number one back when the Scream 6 premiere happened Jah accompanied Davis to it. I'm 95% sure that's where they first met because Jah didn't go to Canada while Davis was filming Scream 6. 1/4

@modernbussywhip: we all saw jenna appear in Jah's vlog...the eye contact, the sexual tension, everything was there between them. But fast forward a couple of hours later, a fan posted a pic with jenna who was at a restaurant and in the pic u can see a tattooed arm and it's the same tattoos Jah has! 2/4

@modernbussywhip: CONTINUE TO WALK WITH ME! Fast forward more, they follow each other on Instagram and as a jenna fan also...that girl avoids that app like the bubonic plague EXCEPT for when Jah posts...every single post of jah has a jenna like...i don't think jenna even likes her mother's posts so for her to only be on Instagram liking Jah's posts....my spidey senses are tingling 3/4

@modernbussywhip: ALMOST DONE! now we always mess with jah on her Reddit so lately it's been nothing but pics and edits of jenna on it...NOT ONCE has she told anyone to stop sending pics and edits of jenna. AND every time she looks at one...her eyes lights up and she starts to smile and blush! Plus after the Met Gala, Jenna stayed in New York...why did she stay in New York?? Jenna's from Cali across the fucking country and she was seen around the Bronx area....YALL NOT FOOLING ME! 4/4

@fnthechat: if jah managed to bag the baddiest scream queen in existence...imma need her to write a book about how to generate THAT much rizz

@ghostridingwhip: fr...that's like level 100 rizz...past Duke Dennis level of rizz

🤰🏻🩵

"Man this is the fucking FIFTH studio I called today and none of them got availability tonight" You groaned out of frustration.

"Why you wait until the last minute to call these studios?" Delyse questioned.

"Well I just signed up for the contest. It was a spur of the moment thing I didn’t really think it through." You said.

Delyse hummed in response and turned her attention back to the food on the stove.

"We can see if Kenny still got his home studio. I think he still live on 33rd" Davis said.

"Bet let's go. We'll be back Ma" You said to your mother and left with Davis.

"You got a song you gonna record?" Davis asked.

"Yeah I wrote it a long time ago. I made the beat and everything" You smiled.

Soon the two of you made it to Kenny's house. You walk into the building and climb up the three flights of stairs, remembering that his elevator never worked. You got to his door and knocked on it.

You waited patiently and slightly out of breath. You knocked again, "Yo Kenny it's me Jah."

Suddenly, the door was ripped opened and a furious looking woman stood there with a crying baby on her hip.

"Uh is Kenny here?" You asked.

The woman laughed sadistically, "Of course you're looking for Kenny. Kenny left four months ago with a skank from Brooklyn."

You and Davis looked at each other stuck on what to say.

"Um...you don't happen to still have his studio equipment?" You asked carefully.

"Nope. I burned it. I burned everything of his" The woman replied.

"Okay thanks" You both gave her a small smile and walked away from Kenny's former apartment. The two of you left the building with you feeling utterly defeated.

"What the fuck am I gonna do? I have to submit this demo by 11:59 tonight" You sighed.

"Don't stress bruh we gon' figure something out. Trust" Davis reassured you. You nodded and took a deep breath in to calm your body down.

🤰🏻🩵

London, England

1:23 am

Jenna had just got to her temporary home after a long day of filming. She was exhausted and was glad she had the day off so she can rest properly. She pulled her shoes off and placed her purse on the table.

Just as she was about to sit on the couch, a knock is at her door.

She internally screams before she walks to the door and opens it to reveal Hudson.

Jenna sighed, "What do you want Hudson?"

"I...just wanted to check in on you. I know you've been working hard which could be harmful to the baby" Hudson said nervously.

"Now you care about me and my baby" Jenna said and raised her eyebrow in suspicious at the boy.

"I always cared about you Jenna. If I didn't I wouldn't be here right now" Hudson replied.

"If you cared about me you wouldn't have told my family about me being pregnant. That wasn't something someone who cared about me would do" Jenna said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You're right. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't my place to do that and I sincerely apologize" Hudson said.

Jenna hummed in response, not really believing his words.

Hudson sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "I truly am sorry and I regret doing it. I just...I just wanted to check on you after everything that happened with Neil on the plane."

At the mention of the male, Jenna tensed. She was doing good with pushing him out of her thoughts. Instead, choosing to focus on her filming. She couldn't and won't let him control her...not anymore. She deserved to be happy.

"I'm fine. I'll handle it" Jenna lied.

Hudson opened his mouth to say something but decided against it after seeing the look on her face.

"Okay...I'll uh...see you tomorrow" Hudson said and walked away from her door. Jenna shut the door after he left and sat on her couch. She was stressed and that wasn't good for her or the baby...she needed to relieve some stress.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

i need help

NYC 🩵:

with 👀

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

im stressed

NYC 🩵:

well taking deep breaths and meditating i heard is a good source of stress relief

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

NYC 🩵:

was that not the right thing to do?

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

nope

NYC 🩵:

ah shit

WAIT

😏😏😏😏😏😏

i know what u want

🤤🤤🤤 vegan food looks bomb don't ya agree

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

I hate you with everything in me 😂

NYC 🩵:

💀💀💀 wym? wat i do? is that not right also?!?

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you know that's not what i want

NYC 🩵:

what u want then

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you know

NYC 🩵:

i dont know ms ortega

not a mind reader

use your words

A chill went through Jenna's body as she read the message, imagining you actually saying those words to her...under different circumstances.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

don't say that

it makes it harder when you say things like that

NYC 🩵:

😂😂😂😂

ain't it like almost 2 am or something over there

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

no...

NYC 🩵:

nice try

go to sleep

goodnight my honey bunches of oats 😘🥰

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you're annoying 😒

Jenna groaned and placed her phone down next to her. She needed to eat, shower, and sleep. But before she could even attempt to start, her phone dinged again. She grabbed it and opened the message from you, she took a sharp inhale of air.

NYC 🩵:

word?

*attachment: 1 image*

It was picture of you in the mirror with your head titled to the side and tongue stretched out your mouth. Your tongue was naturally long, almost reaching to your chin. But what also caught her eyes was your hand placement which was grabbing your genitalia through your gray sweatpants. That's all Jenna needed.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

i take back what i said

🤰🏻🩵

You laughed at Jenna's message and fixed yourself before walking out the bathroom. You and Davis got back to your Mother's house defeated from the lack of progress in finding a studio.

You don't know how you were going to finished this demo and submit it in 4 hours.

A knock at the door grabbed your attention, you watched as your mother walks to the door and cracks it open.

"Hey Leon" Delyse smiled brightly at the sight of the man.

"Hey Del, how you doing?" Leon gave her a smile back.

"I'm good just cooking for these clingy kids" Delyse answered and opened the door wider for Leon to see you and Davis.

"Hey Mr. Greenhill" You and Davis simultaneously greeted the older man. Leon chuckled and waved at them.

"Oh I knew I smelled something delicious. Man I missed smelling your cooking reminds me of the old days" Leon flattered.

Delyse let out a little giggle, "Yeah the old days."

The two adults stood in the doorway looking at each other basking in the comfortable silence. Meanwhile, you and Davis looked at each other before looking back at the older adults.

"I...uh just wanted to stop by and say hello. I don't wanna intrude anymore than I already have" Leon smiled at Delyse.

"No, no, no intruding...do you want a plate?" Delyse boldly asked.

It took a moment for Leon to come up with a response but eventually he did, "Uh yeah sure."

The older gentleman walked into the house and Delyse closed the door behind him. Leon pulled off his cap and held it in his hands. He sat next to you at the end of the table.

"How you guys doing?" Leon politely said to you and Davis.

"Eh" You shrugged.

"Eh? Why eh?" Leon questioned.

"Jah signed up for this music competition. Winner gets a five million dollar record deal with Passion Records. The contestants must submit a demo by 11:59 p.m tonight but we haven't found a studio all week" Davis explained.

"And I tried recording it on my phone but the audio is all grainy and hard to hear" You sighed.

"Hmm...can you sing the song you are going to submit?" Leon questioned.

You and Davis glanced at each other again but Davis just shrugged. You scrolled to the notes app and pulled the beat of the song you are going to use.

"Rollin' through with stacks, it's easy, money rainin' down, just like a storm, I got the riches-" You get interrupted by Leon pausing the beat on your phone.

"No" Leon said.

"No? What you mean no? It's a good song" You scoffed.

"Yeah for the early 2015 era when singing about money like that could get you hits. It's 2023 now, people want to hear something different something unique. If I was a judge and I heard that...I would think you're just hopping on the trendy music hoping for yours to be the hit. But you don't realize that everyone is thinking the same thing as you. The only way for you to be looked at twice is if you stand out. Let the lyrics come from within you, come from your heart" Leon explained to you.

Delyse then comes from the kitchen with a plastic bag with aluminum foiled wrapped plates inside.

"Here you go" Delyse smiled and handed Leon the bag.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this Delyse" Leon smiled at her grateful. He stood up from the table and grabbed his cap.

"Once you find those lyrics, come and find me on Southern BLVD but hurry though you got four hours left" Leon said and left the house.

Meanwhile, you sat stuck at the dining room table. Replaying the words Leon said, basically calling your song shit. It stung but deep down you knew he was right. The song didn't feel like you, it felt like a 14 year old wrote it and it wasn't your style.

You glanced at the clock on the wall as you grabbed a pen and paper. 7:48 p.m. Your eyes then glanced down to your phone and an unopened message from Jenna.

Hollywood 🤰🏻:

you have to be the greatest partner alive 😏

"Have to be..." You muttered to yourself. Instantly, your hand starts to move by itself as you write down the lyrics to your new song.

Let the lyrics come from your heart.

🤰🏻🩵

Two hours later, you finally finished and made your way to Southern BLVD with Davis tagging along.

"Why Southern BLVD though? What's here besides crackheads and prostitutes?" Davis commented.

The two of you continued walking down the block until you start to hear the sound of music. The closer you got to the corner, the louder and clearer the music became. It was street drummers and Leon was in the middle of them playing the electric guitar. You and Davis watched in amazement as he kept up with the drummers until they finished their last cord together.

The small amount of people that were gathered applauded them and a couple gave a few dollars before walking away.

"Yo I ain't know you could play the guitar Mr. Greenhill" Davis said.

Leon chuckled, "I'm a man with many talents son." The older male turned to you.

"I'm assuming you got something better with you this time" Leon teased.

You laughed, "Yeah I do. Wrote it from the heart like you said."

"Alright, well you better warm up that voice. You got a song to perform" Leon smiled and patted your back.

"Wait what? Right now? In public?" You questioned.

"Uh yeah. You need to submit that demo in two hours. I checked to see if you submit a live version of your demo and it said you could so get a move on" Leon said and stepped to the side.

"I don't got a beat though I just have the lyrics" You said. You were really trying your hardest not to perform in front of people severely underprepared.

"Don't worry about that" Leon said and placed the guitar over his shoulder.

Leon then played a cord on the guitar, soon the bucket drummer started feeling the vibe and matched the cord Leon was playing. Then you heard someone sweeping from behind you, it surprisingly also matched with everyone. You start to nod your head, feeling the rhythm and you grabbed the beat up microphone from the ground.

Davis pulled out his phone to start recording you.

"Can't wait for you to get home, we ain't got to go nowhere. Airplane on my phone, it can wait til the morning. I can't fathom why you choose me out billions but I'll take it" You sung. You felt your eyes close as you got lost into the music.

Soon, you finished off the song to a large crowd cheering and clapping at your performance.

"I told you let the lyrics come from your heart. You made magic tonight Jah, take pride of your work" Leon educated you.

You nodded at him and walked over to Davis who was fiddling with his phone.

"And submitted" Davis smiled at you as he submitted the demo on the competition website.

"Hard part is over for now. Now we wait" You exhaled deeply.

a/n: if you put a buck in my cup I will shut the fuck up… but you ain’t gotta be a baller to give me a motherfucking dollar…

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @raven-ss @fanboy7794 @morganismspam23 @cinffy23 @darklron @cheesybacon1 @octavias-next-meat-bite @playboysaleen @niqmandu @zaclewiss @yescruzzzzzzz @silentfor @gemz5 @alwaysdangerouschild @onceblinkarmyandmore @melonfruit442 @zataracloud @nepobaby08 @jennasslut @rimaybank @jaewu @j3nc0re @fillthwvoid

[enhaheeseung]

𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 - 𝐥. 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

Pairing: perv! heeseung x fem reader

Warnings: Male masturbation, cursing, I think that’s it💭

Masterlist

Word count 2,820

Note: im back~ did yall miss me?

Request from @zzzhoonie from this! Ask. Sorry, it took so long. I hope you enjoy it! request are still open!

━━━━━━━━━━━

It wasn’t a secret you and heeseung were close so close you both had moved in with each other at the start of the year.

You had been friends with him for some time now after meeting through each other’s friend groups in school. Needless to say, you and him hit it off immediately, and after the senior year ended, you two were inseparable.

You and heeseung did literally everything together, so it wasn’t a surprise to any of your friends when you both moved in together. Your bond had only grown stronger after that, and as time passed, there wasn’t one thing you two had kept from each other.

Well, maybe one thing that heeseung would take with him to his grave.

He had the biggest crush on you since you two first met, but it didn’t take him long to realize that you only saw him as a friend, and because of that, he immediately backed off.

That still didn’t stop him from being into you though he knew you’d never be his, so he thought of a way to distract himself from that fact.

He knew it was wrong, so wrong, but he couldn’t control the things he’d do when it came to you things, like looking at you when you bent down to pick something up or when you’d stand on your tippy toes to reach into one of the cabinets. Sometimes, he’d take that opportunity to stand behind you and help you reach whatever you needed at the time, not missing the chance to brush himself against you.

Heeseung kept this dirty little secret to himself for years. He was too scared to tell you his feelings in case you wouldn’t be the same around him. He knew you’d still be his friend cause that’s how much of an angel you are, but he didn’t want to risk messing up a friendship just so you could tell him that you didn’t reciprocate his feelings for you, so instead, he found a way to partake in you as much as possible without you actually being his.

It started out innocently. At first, he’d watch you from afar with a smile on his face, just taking in your beauty and wondering how he was lucky enough to have even been your best friend in the first place.

But it soon turned not so-innocent day by day. He kept pushing his limits when it came to his feelings for you, and it became very unhealthy very quickly.

He’d purposely take all the towels out of the bathroom so you could ask him to bring you one, and he relished just the little glimpse he got of your wet body as your arm stretched from behind the curtain to grab said towel as you thanked him sweetly.

It didn’t stop there. Unfortunately, it only got worse with time. He’d wait for you to leave so he could invade your privacy, taking out a pair of your panties from your drawer and using them to get himself off in the most satisfying way he’s ever felt.

Like right now, you had gone to hang out with your friends, and as soon as you left, he immediately went to his favorite room in the apartment, reaching inside your drawer, smirking to himself when his favorite pair of your panties stared him in the face folded neatly like they always were.

He held them to his face, deeply inhaling the fresh scent of lavender fabric softener. Just the smell filling his nostrils and the material of your underwear on his skin made his whole body tingle with want.

He went back to his room and locked the door, not bothering to even get fully undressed, just impatiently pulling his boxers and joggers around his ankles as he sprawled out on his bed.

His heart was already beating in anticipation as he wrapped the soft material around his shaft. “Fuck” he whimpers as he watches his cock twitch under the crotch part of your panties and palms over his erection.

He didn’t even give himself time to feel bad for what he was about to do and proceeded to lazily stroke his length, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tilted his head to the side slightly, eyebrows already furrowed in pleasure as he did so.

He squeezed at the base of his cock, muscles tensing with every slow rub and gentle tug. He could already see his pre cum seeping through your underwear, causing him to let out a loud groan. “Fucking hell,” he breathed shakily before reaching over to his nightstand, grabbing his phone, and routinely dialing your number.

He knew you’d pick up. You always picked up when he called.

Three little rings later, he heard your pretty voice filled with excitement through the speaker. “Hey hee, what’s up?” You answered cheerfully.

“Oh, nothing, just missing you as always,” he sighed, holding in a moan he nearly let slip out when he brushed his thumb over the head of his cock that was a deep shade of red.

You laughed slightly. It wasn’t unusual for him to say that this boy always missed you no matter what, even if he had just seen you this morning. “Hee, you just saw me. How can you already miss me?” You replied, lips curling into a smile at the thought of your adorable best friend missing you.

The question for him was how could he not miss you? If he could, he’d follow you any and everywhere. “Cause I just d-do,” he sucked in a breath, hoping you wouldn’t notice the sudden change in his tone when he jerked himself off faster, and thankfully for him, you didn’t.

“You’re funny. Hee, you should get out more often. That way, you won’t have to sit at home and wait for me all day.”

“I don’t want to, though” he takes the opportunity to let out a few whines, knowing you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between his pleasured sounds VS. when he was just being a big whiny baby.

“Okay, well, maybe you can find something in the apartment to do?” You suggested.

“I am,” he replied quickly. “Still just wish you were here though” you mistook his breathy moan for a discontent sigh and attempted to cheer him up.

“You can’t do anything without me,” you laughed, and it was so true he probably couldn’t even breathe if you weren’t in his life. “Such a baby”

“I’m your baby,” he laughs breathlessly as his chest rises and falls the faster he pumps his throbbing dick.

“Whatever you say, hee,” you dismiss his playful comment. He was always saying dumb things like that. “I’ll come home early, yeah?”

“No, no, just enjoy your time I-I’ll be waiting for you when you get back” as much as he wanted to see you, he didn’t want to disturb your time out with friends knowing you rarely got to see them.

“Hey, are you okay?” You asked, hearing the slight strain in his voice.

“More than okay,” he says slowly. “Just taking care of something,” he grunted, and you figured he was up to his usual antics and ignored it.

“So, are you really sure? It’s no problem. Really I could just tell them something came up” just the thought that you’d be ready and willing to drop everything and come home just cause he missed you had his mind in a frenzy, and the sweet sound of your voice was only helping him reach his high at record speed.

He quickly muted himself, not being able to hold in his loud moans and groans the closer he got to his end.

This was a recent thing he’s been doing, not calling you while masturbating. No, He’s been doing that for a while now, but his new practice was opening up his gallery app and looking at pictures he took of you while doing so.

He scrolled until his favorite picture of you popped up, the one you had no idea he even took. It was from when you and his friends went to the beach together. He remembered that day like yesterday. He remembers the way your perfectly tanned skin reflected under the hot sun and how smooth it felt when he applied your sunscreen and inched his hands a little higher on your thighs than they should have been, the way your tits bounced up and down when you jogged out of the lake and your yellow bralette that hung on for dear life as you did so and last, but not least he remembers wanting to so badly lick off the beads of water that cascaded down the valley of your perky breasts just that thought along with the photo of you sitting in the beach chair looking utterly breathtaking had him right on the edge.

“Y/n, oh my fucking god,” he was panting, mouth hung wide open while moving his hand erratically on his dick. He lifted his hips up slightly fucking into his fist while you called for him over the phone.

“Heeseung? Are you still there? Heeseung?” You looked at the phone, and the call was still connected, so you put the phone back to your ear as you waited another minute or so for him to respond.

“Yes baby, I-I’m still here. Keep on calling my name like that- oh fuck!” He rubbed the cotton fabric of your panties fastly, the now damp material messily slipping up and down his hard leaking cock, the added friction feeling like pure unadulterated pleasure as his eyes raked over the photo, landing right on your bikini line, and that’s what sent him toppling over the edge spilling hot ropes of cum on your underwear as his toes curled in pleasure. “Fuckfuckfuck!” he chanted, tugging on his spent cock until his balls were completely drained. “Just like that, y/n, so fucking good for me, baby girl,” he breathed out as you continued to call his name.

His head was a bit fuzzy as he did his best to catch his breath before unmuting you. “Yeah, I’m still here” his chest was still heaving as he swallowed thickly to coat his dry throat looking between his tensed legs and teasing himself as he swirled his thumb around his sensitive cum covered slit.

“So anyways, like I was saying, I could always come home early,” you say, referring to the question you had asked him earlier.

“No, I promise it’s alright. Have fun, okay? I’ll see you later tonight,” he said softly into his speaker while removing your underwear from his shaft.

“Okay, hee, I will! See you soon! Love you!” You chirped.

“Love you too,” he closed his eyes momentarily and sighed dreamily, hanging up the phone after a few beats of silence.

━━━━━━━━━━━

You arrive later in the night than you had originally expected and offer to watch a movie with heeseung as an apology for being gone so long, and of course, he agrees with you instantly. You knew he’d never decline an offer to spend time together with you.

You two were currently lying on the couch together. He was behind you, lazily drawing patterns on your waist. To most people on the outside looking in, you looked like a couple, but this was just normal between you and him. You were both just really, really close, nothing more.

He “adjusted” behind you, rubbing himself on you inconspicuously. He looks down between your bodies. And god, he wishes he could just squeeze your waist and hold you down on the couch while rolling his hips into your backside.

But he knew you most definitely wouldn’t want that, so instead, he pretended to grab a blanket as an excuse to rub his boner on you one last time, nearly cumming in his pants while doing so.

He wrapped it around you, and you snuggled up into the warmth of the blanket as you got more comfortable and relaxed in his arms, enjoying the rest of the movie you had put on.

━━━━━━━━━━━

He was screwed, and at this point, he wasn’t even trying to stop. He let himself get completely taken by you. His eyes were roaming all over your body. You were wearing your comfy sleep shorts. You would never wear them around anyone else, but you knew he wasn’t like that, and you could trust him. But boy, were you so wrong cause right now he was twisting and turning, almost breaking his neck just to see as much of your exposed body as he possibly could.

You were in the kitchen cleaning dishes after making breakfast for the two of you. He pretended to watch TV, but he was watching you the whole time. Once you finished the dishes, you leaned over the counter, scrolling on your phone, looking at some dresses online, and having a hard time deciding which color you should get.

“Hee, what do you like more?” You asked while plopping down on his lap, even though there were free seats next to him. You didn’t pay any mind to it though it was something you did randomly throughout the course of your guy’s friendship.

“Show me,” he said while wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “Ooh, I like the blue, but yellow looks good on you too, don’t you think?” he hummed in thought, and you felt the deep bass in his voice vibrating on your back from his chest being pressed against you.

He tried to ignore the fact that you were sitting right on top of his dick, but he just couldn’t. He wondered if you even knew what you were doing, but he figured that you didn’t know, seeing how you were showing him all the different dresses and asking his opinion on them while seemingly unfazed that he was now starting to harden up under you could you really not feel it? Cause he definitely could.

He held you tighter, pushing you down on his lap a little more, stifling a groan that was so ready to slip out he squeezed his eyes shut in pure ecstasy from the way you felt sitting on top of him. You didn’t do it often, but he loved nothing more than when you sat on his lap. It felt so good to feel your body so close. Sometimes It made him think you were actually his cause you never did it with any other guy but him. “I really can’t decide,” he chuckled softly in your ear as his chin lightly tickled your shoulder.

“Come on, hee, you’re not helping,” you whined.

“I’m a man. How should I know what dress you should get” he jokingly defended himself.

You laughed. He kinda did have a point. “Well, let’s say I was your girlfriend. Which one would you want to see me in?” He froze at just the thought of being your boyfriend. The things he would do to have the title of being your boyfriend are unthinkable.

“Well, you’re not my girlfriend” you glared at him and freed yourself from his arms, standing up.

“Not so fast” he pulled you back down to your position giggling at the little surprise yelp you let out. “Show me again” he tapped your sides with his fingers tips thinking long and hard about what dress you should get. It was so difficult to choose cause he knew you’d look stunning in both of them.

“I swear hee if you don’t-“ before you finished, he cut you off.

“The blue one, it matches the high heels I bought you for prom,” he finally speaks up and you’re surprised he still even remembers that.

But you did wear them all the time and he was right. The dress did match.

“You’re good for something after all,” you joke and click the pay now button on your phone.

“I’m good at a lot of other things too, but you wouldn’t know that” he bit his lip suggestively, half joking, half serious. “unless you wanna find out now?” he whispered in your ear.

“Eww, no, unhand me so I can take a shower,” after you said that, he very reluctantly let go of you, sighing loudly and sadly watching you leave the room.

That’s the exact reason he’d never ask you out. He knew you were only joking, but he also knew you weren’t into him like that. You only saw him as a friend, and even though it was, in fact, a joke hearing those words still hurt him.

So from now on, he’d continue his little unhealthy obsession with you, and if the only way he could have you was through pictures, phone calls, and countless pairs of your panties, then he’d gladly take that any day of the week.

━━━━━━━━━━━

yes i did make up a word lol its 7am and im tired okay? i really hope i didnt mess up anything ​

Permanent taglist:®• @hello-stranger24 @ashxsmoon @lhsggg @scarlet127 @bunhoons @axartia @kpopscruggles @badidealy @heeseungleeworld @jayroseyy @bangchanhasbigfeet @duolingofanaccount @oceanyocean @hee-in @heesgirl @bambisgirl @heeaddict @heartandfangs @nyxtwixx​

Thank you so much for reading. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated. I hope you all enjoy. Sorry for any typos/errors, and as always, enjoy your day/night.🤍🖤

[futturmangamez]

Warning: this is a longggg post😅😅

Another ooc post..shh ik yall want futturman not me just GIVE ME A MIN LMAO. U may or may not know this account is 5 months old now (very woo..very wow) I mentioned in my last post it def has been a major twist in my life, considering the fact I'm literally acting like one of my fav fictional characters basically 99.9 % of the time haha. Yes, there has been MANY awesome great things that come with this account, but there has also been lots of negative (unfortunately but hey hey hey dw we move onnn!! big swagarooneyyy ya feel me lemon peppas??🤙) This is another reminder, a very important one, that yes even tho this is a roleplay account and the purpose is that it's supposed to literally be josh, pls remember I am UNFORTUNATELY not josh futturman😩😩😩😩(I mean fuck we r very similar but..) I am a human behind the screen, not ai. Pls be respectful..this includes to ALL. Roleplay accounts. Clearly I'm ok with a loT on this account (aka silly reblogs, spicy dms, very nsfw asks u name it) but as a human who has human experiences I am not alwayssss able to comply to some things and that's ok. There r pros and cons to running an account like this..sometimes u wake up to 50+ notifs, sometimes u wake up to 0. If for some reason I miss or don't reply to ur post, it's very possible it got lost in the sea on notifs, I seen it and told myself I'd get back to it when I had a proper futturman-like reply(happens but i do get back within the week), and/or I ignored it bc it made me uncomfy/confused. Usually in that last case it's because I'm aware ur a minor and u replied to a nsfw post in an even more nsfw manner (tss tss haha). If u really want josh to see a post, feel free to tag him, I'm not against that😁 Sometimes as a roleplayer (other ppl have agreed) that it can feel pressuring to run our pages and keep up with the notifications and dms, so pls pls have patience. And if u dont get quick replies back or begin to grow angry bc josh does not dm u the way u may have wanted or something, respectfully maybe touch grass aha..I am doing my best. There were some past followers that soley used my character for sex purposes and if that's what u want, there are PLENTY of ai platforms u can run and cum to as many times as you'd like🔥🔥(yes some shit is allowed but lets not only hmu to help u rub one out😅..josh is flattered tho LMFAO)somedays ofc we all get posters block (similar to writers or art block..I just made this up haha) especially to the accounts that have been around for longer..we r doing our best trying to come up with unique ideas to keep the characters alive without repeating the same content over and over😅so also to those who help throw cool stuff in our inbox to open new doors and ideas for the character, thanks a million..a roleplay account continues to live from both parties. On that note, the jhutch fandom is lowkey dying atm, especially the tumblr one. I completely understand whether ur hyperfixation is dying or u r busy with school/personal life..I hope u guys understand that I can be busy too, hence why some days I am not as active as other days. I've also contemplated deleting this account a lot of times due to the fact that I can get overwhelmed sometimes+I feel silly role-playing a character when I myself am even more of a loser than josh haha so I'm always like 😃wtf am I doing josh hutcherson would probably think I'm insane for this😃 ofcourse I'm not sure if this is like..the maturist thing to do at my grown ass age but whateva😅if I do decide to take any breaks in the future pls don't be mad☹️

So yea um..ik that was a whole fucking lot of a mess but I feel like I had to get those points out b4 I continued this account and I really hope u guys can respect & understand my feelings..if not ☺️dm me what u don't like. I'd LOVE. To have a conversation with u about what u don't like about my account that i run🙈 if ur seeing this, thank u for taking the time out to read all of this. Means a lot to me to know I've made atleast one person in the jhutch fandom smile thru my page💛

-sincerely 🃏

[honourablefool]

Tw suicidal ideation (dw I'm fine just reflecting)

So mandatory disclaimer that I'm okay, I'm not in crisis, I am not going to kill myself, I have no desire to kill myself. However, this will probably be triggering for anyone who's sensitive about those topics. Putting that out there so yall can take care of yourselves. Now that we've gotten that out of the way.

I think about killing myself most days. It's like that when I'm in crisis, obviously, but it's like that when I'm fine too. Almost anything can set it off - hearing about something death related, not knowing how to handle a mild-to-moderately difficult situation in my life, boredom. Dreading a big presentation. Normal day to day anxieties and conversations.

It's been like this since the idea entered my head when I was like. 8 years old. So the vast majority of my conscious existence, I've been living with these thoughts. I've had near misses, sure, I've... made preparations. Never actually followed through, which the Fucked Up Guy in my head (abstract personification of these urges. Sometimes helps to think about them that way) would call cowardice. Thanks, Fucked Up Guy. Suuuuper helpful. Moving on

It's... just so mundane to me now. On an intellectual level, I'm able to dismiss the Fucked Up Guy and go about my day. Consciously, I have accepted that suicide is not a "solution" I will ever make use of. But the patterns of thought and action I built around the certainty that I was going to commit suicide, and probably soon--patterns I built from a very young age and reinforced for years--still interfere with my thinking and with my life.

I don't make plans more than a year in advance. I didn't expect to survive high school, much less graduate, and now that I'm facing down the last year of my degree I'm astonished to have gotten here. I have to, like... find a place to live. And get a job. And be an actual adult. And some part of me is crying on the ground and throwing a tantrum because, frankly, I wasn't supposed to have to do all that. I was supposed to die before I was ever truly in charge of my life.

There's a term for this feeling, I've recently learned. It's called "sense of foreshortened future." But that doesn't really get across how it feels. It feels like there's this giant void ahead of me, and all sorts of stuff keeps jumping out of it as time goes on, becoming revealed as it gets close enough for me to process that it's real, and I'll actually have to deal with it before I die. Obstacles to dodge, opportunities to grasp at, and every mundane duty I have to myself and the people around me. I didn't schedule a dentist appointment for two years because I didn't think I'd be needing my teeth for very long. I still need to request my mail in ballot for November.

And at the back of my head, the excuse, every time, is "oh I'll probably be dead by the time that's important." And that is Extremely! Not! Helpful! It fucks things up for me, and it fucks things up for people who care about me who end up picking up the slack.

I know I should be proud to have made it this far. Honestly, the most I can muster is surprise. It doesn't feel like an achievement, it still feels like I'm racing against time to juggle all the things the void that is my future throws at me until that void swallows me whole and I don't have to worry about anything anymore. My life is full of stopgap measures I've jury-rigged into continuing to keep me alive for far too long.

And maybe that's the rest of my life. Maybe, between the circumstances I was born into and the choices I made, I will have to continually dismiss the Fucked Up Guy, regardless of whatever else I do. Maybe the void ahead is one I have to keep exploring, despite my inability to look ahead. I still think my life can be worth living. I still want my life.

I think that's the most terrifying part. To want to live, even though my first impulse to solve any situation is to Stop Living. Idk. I don't have a solution. I just want a life, and this is the only one I'm guaranteed to get, so I'm gonna do my best with it. I can't see a way out, so I'll live through for however long I can. White-knuckling all the way, maybe. Fuck it. We ball.

[peachiseas]

Art summary 2023 Ramble

Yeah yeah yeah, like I stated in my last post, I really kinda wanted to talk in depth about just the insane whirlwind that was this year for me artistically anyways. I hope y'all enjoy ans sincerely thank you for supporting me

So to start off, this year was the most successful year for me in art. I had a lot of lows this year but art? Art was not in any of those categories though it was really shaping up to be my worst year yet.

In 2021, I had my house fire that really more or less threw my senior year of school for a fucking loop. Then in 2022, I lost all of my stuff due to negligence by the demolition company and that severely tanked my entire will to really create. Decades worth of art since I was 2 that I carefully preserved for myself when I was older to browse, was just gone.

So after I graduated, I applied for a fuckton of zines because I thought that since I was approaching a huge depressive creative block, if I didn't stop drawing then I wouldn't experience it.

Well. I was wrong.

Not only was I depressed, but I was swamped with work and the work just didn't make me feel better at all. By the time 2023 came around, I dropped out of so many zines and the ones I did finish were late. It was just an absolute nightmare. I think that's why I didn't have so many general pieces in 2023, I was burnt the fuck out from overworking.

I think a positive was though that afterwards, I still wanted to draw little things which turned out to be my best idea yet. Mainly because for me, little stuff like merch is quick and easier for me to pump out. And because of that I ended up selling so much this year because I became more active in making merch, I'm really shocked. Not only that, I did do quite a few cons too and sold pretty well for my first official year. Which once again, took me off guard cause I'm hypercritical of my own work.

So! My goal for next year is to sell and make more merch obviously, but I do want to make actual illustrations again. I really miss it. And comics too!! Now that I'm officially moved in, I can do things I actually wanna do. I really cant predict what next year looks like for me but hopefully, it's good. And I do want to make a sincere thank you to everyone who supported me before and now! I wouldn't have gotten this far without yall! I hope 2024 is kind to you!

[theuniverseawakens347]

We’re of age.. so it’s not child porn now 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽

AT NOAH DUMBASS DECORSI.. let’s get the aired OUT PERSONALLY .. me n Tristan ALREADY WHILPED YO ASS VERBALLY TOGETHER BUT YOU STILL WANA PLAY MICKEY.

1. Nigga we me n you met in 5th grade TCS, YOU FELL HARD, I was like “ooo a nigga at a white school I just came from the hood 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽”

2. Astro camp 5th grade YOU PRESSURED ME TO KISS YOU .. I ain’t even lean in my nigga.. and YOU COOPED A BUTT FEEL W/ O PERMISSION, rape 🤷🏽‍♀️

3. AINT SHIT HAPPEN WHEN WE GOT OUT THE POOL.. I Flirted w you cause you gave me attention AND WAS A BLACK BOY AT BASICALLY A WHITE SCHOOL AND I JUST CAME FROM 54th..

4. THIS WHEN YOU MET WHITE TRISTAN AND WAS TELLING HIM IN 5th GRADE ME N YOU SMASHING, LYING FUCKING ASS. AINT LOSE MINE TIL A WEEK BEFORE ALEXIS WALLACE WAS KILT.. 16 TO FUCK ASS DUMBASS JUSTIN INFWE

5. I MAN HANDLED RHE FUCK OUT YOUR ASS AFTER ASTRO CAMP CAUSE I REALIZED YOU WAS A PUNK BULLYING THE OTHER KIDS IE AT MALCOM MUHAMMAD ASKARI KID

6. YOU SHOWED MY ART JOURNAL WHERE I WROTE I WAS GOING TO FUCK MILADA UO FOR BULLYING ME DURING SOCCER AND HAVING HER DAD YELL AT ME.. LEE ASKED YOU TO SNITCH TO THE PRINCIPAL OLIVIA PAUL SINGER MOTHER.. TURNS OUT SON BRYANT IS MY BROTHER ..

6. YOU HAD KINDERGARTENS SING “I found you miss new booty” to me AND ALWAYS HARASSED ME TO FUCK HANG KISS OR JUST BE W YOU.. weirdo SUSAN TRYING FOR AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE OFF OF EITHER YOU SAM OR CJ OSARIO PLANNED BY LEE GARLINGTON

7. WE DRIFTED AFTER 6th grade cause TCS went had not started 7th yet .. and I went to IMMAC.. SHERE TOU MET LAURN REESE AND SHE LIKES ANYTHING IM INTERESTED IN AT LEE GARLINGTON REQUEST OF OWNING SLAVES OFF YOU “ILLUMINATI” PARENTS

7. MIDDLE SCHOOL TO ABOUT SOPHOMORE YR HIGH SCHOOL WE AINT REALLY TALK.. liked some photos here n there hit a few “hi how you doing” THATS IT .. i “missed” you simply bc I WENT TO A MOSTLY WHITE ALL GIRL SCHOOL.. IM A FUCKING TOMBOY, I ISED TO FIGHT YOU AND SAM EVERYDAY ON THE SCHOOL YARD .. but and idc for the energy of STUCK UP “I THINK IM BETTER THAN BC IM SHALLOW AS FUCK girls” Lee had me around ..

8. 16 I made a tumblr.. YOU WERE DATING SOME Polynesian BITCH WHO DIDNT LIKE THAT YOU WERE SO CLEARLY OBSESSED W ME .. SHE HAD YOU BLOCK ME NUMEROUS TIMES BUT TOUD UNBLOCK WHEN YOU SEEN I POSTED PHOTOS OF ME TO MY TUMBLR .. AR HOW MY HALF SHAVED HEAD AND SUPERMAN UNDIES GOT ON YOUR NASTY LIL BOY SIGHT AT CHRISTOPHER FUCKING WEIRDO TOO WHO I SENT PICS TO JUNIOR SUMMER WHILE FLINGING IT ..

9. YALL FUCKING WEIRD PERVERTS FOR SOME MONEY.. and doing this shit WILLINGLY AS KIDS AND CONTINUING IT TO DRUGGING MOFOS AND RAPING ..

10. YOU HIT ONE FUCKING TIME MY NIGGA AND THATS CAUSE WALKER WASNT AVAILABLE TO HIT OUR YEARLY SMASH AND CATCH UP SINCE 2014.. you hit 2018 last week I had my Chevy Cruze LIKE I SAID PICKED U UP FUCKED YOU AND DROPPED YO ASS OFF. .. YOU CAME TO CSUN WHILE I ATTENDED EXPECTING TO CATCH UP ON MY END CAUSS I WAS HEAVILY INVOLVED WITH PUNK ASS IAN AND HIS “free Mason” BULLSHIT I AINT FUCK YOU.. YOU WANTED AND TRIED AND I SAID MY NIGGA WOULD KILL YOU AND YOU STILL CAME BACK A SECOND TIME AND SNUCK A FUCKING KISS IN .. rape , THEN LIED ABOUT MY HUSBAD TRISTAN GETTING JUMPED AND YOU SAVING HIM.. and then TRIED TO FUCK ME N THE CAR.. I SAID NO GLOVE NO LOVE ( Ian and I OFFICIALLY DONE) TOOK ME BACK TO CAMPUS AINT SHIT HAPPEN.. ian and I wasn’t together for him to ask me about you.. NIGHA WAS HOPPING AROUND W GOLDEN tracc star and “twin” ON THAT NASTY SIGHT.. and ALISSA DUMBASS FUCK ANYTHING MORRIS AND TLO3sum head ass with “twin” NICOLE mole on lip..

11. YOU STEADY OVER THE YEARS TOOK PHOTOS OFF MY TUMBLR AND PUT LASSED THEM AROUND SAYING INWAS UR MAIN SIDE PIECE BOO THANG, LYING LITTLE DICK NIGGA .. you can eat the box but that’s bout it’s PENCIL DICK HEADASS BITCH.

12. YOU BROUGHT ME MY NIGGA TRISTAN Jan/ Feb 2017 .. I was looking for a dealer and YOU TOLD HIM I WAS LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP / BOO.. no friend wasn’t on that Type of time, yet ( cut to fuck ass Daniel Gonzales FROM CSUN.. talking like March - JUN then dating ..while he hoing ThANKS TO LEE GARLINGTON WEIRDO SEXXX RING AT VIVICCA WHITSET )

13. 2019 I SMOKED W YOU ONCE WHEN YOU WAS BACK FROM HAWIAII.. LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE UR BLACK CAT ..AINT AHIT HAPPEN AND TOLD YOU I HAD A NIGGA.. FUCK ASS DUMBASS JAMAL RON HENDERSON.. end of July 2020 YOU WANTED TO HANG AND I WANTED TO BANG.. TOU BROUGHT MY NIGGA TRISTAN TO DEAL AND OFF AOGHT WE FELL IN LOVE AND I AINT NEVA BUT I DEFINITELY DID RIGHT THERE SWITCH TF UP .. BOTH YAL NIGGAS FELT IT AND LOWKEY TALKED ABOUT IT AS I WALKED BACK TO THE CAR W MY SISTER 🤷🏽‍♀️🖕🏽 ME YOU AND NEITHER HARRELL BROTHER HAD A FUCKING 3sum TOGETHER.. NIGGA YOU GAY AND FUCKED JARED AND JASON ON YOUR LIL BOYZ TRIP.. DRUG AND RAPE OF JARED H 🖕🏽🙂

14. THE SATURDAY NIGHT YOU CAME THRU TO SMOKE W ME N MY SISTER NIGGA YOU WAS DRUNK AND HIGH AS FUCK .. GOT TO A CHECKPOINT SAID YOU FUCKED THE OFFICERS DAUGHTER AND THEN.. we went to smoke.. KNEW YO ASS WAS GOING TO TRY SOME FUCK SHIT SO I LEFT MY SISTER IN MY CAR AND WE WENT TO URS TALKIN BOUT SOME “get in the back seat” I SAID NO. You tell me I’m not gon do nothing just smoke “I’m like okay” .. nigga smoke session over I’m talking bout some “what’s up w TRISTAN” and you try and pin me to eat the box 🤯 RAPIST . SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN REAL QUICK AND HIT TRISTAN OVED DM REAL QUICK IN FRONT OF YOU .. then that Monday, INSEPARABLE.. BUT YO FUCK ASS PER SUSAN AND THRU LEE VIVICCA WAS ASKED TO KEEP TRISTAN AWAY FROM ME “distracted w bitches” SO TOU DRUGGED HIM AND PUT HIM AROUND QUESTIONABLE PPL.. ie GAY JASON CAN ATTEST AT DUMBASS DAISY FLOREZ TOO THINKING “they dated” RAPE. .. but niggas just pillow talked ABOUT YOU BEING GAY AND FUCKING JASON AND CREW IN MILAN AND TALKING BOUT WEIRD SHIT TO TRISTAN AND JUSTICE OVER FT MAKING IT KNOWN YOU N JASON CREW FUCKED ..

15. ME N TRISTAN PRESSED YOU ABOUT BEING A FUCKTARD AND LYING ON MY NAME AND EVENTUALLY TRISTAN OUT HANDS ON YOU FOR REALLY DRUGGING HIM AND FUCKING US UP BC THIS LITTLE P DIDDY SEX RING YOUR APART OF THRU UR MODELING AGENCY .. BUT LIKE YOU SAT THERE AND LIKE A BITCH DENIED EVERYTHING SO THEN TURNED TO REVENGE PORN AND FUCKED DAISY TO GET BACK AT TRISTAN.. who doesn’t even care about the bitch, SHE A DEATH PET LIKE YOU TO ME N MY BIRTH FAMILY AND HIS FAMILY 🖕🏽🤷🏽‍♀️🙂

Also Daisy.. HOW WAS THE CHLAMYDIA TURNED GONORRHEAONORREA FROM GAY BOY NOAH GOVEN MY JASON AND BUTT SEX FRANCE CREW 🙂 .. DAISY FATASS FUCKED JUSTICE ( forced rape) THOUGHT IT WAS MY COOCHIE COMING THRU WHEN HE BROKE THE COUCH .. so Daisy, FEDERAL. AND NOAH.

NOAH YOU AINT NEVER FUCKED TRISTAN BUT YOU DEFINITELY DID JERK IT A FEE TIMES TO HIM AND TRY TO WATCH ME N HIM 🖕🏽🤷🏽‍♀️

DAISY YA RIDDE W STDS MY NIGGA AINT STICCIN HIS DICK IN THAT .. did a lil trance 1 2 AND RETURNED UR POISONED BACK TO YOU.. #MAGIC and for THE RECORD NOAH ONCE I GOT BACK FROM CLARITY I WAS FUCKING TRISTAN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY AT YOUR CALABASHES SPOT WHILE HE WAS LYING ABOUT IT BEING DAISY.

[behindbrowneyezz]

It's funny how time changes things isnt it? One minute you're super close to everyone around you, you're busy with work, extra activies, extra chores, maybe you try to sleep in an extra few days that month...then before you know so many things have changed. I feel bad that tomorrow is Indys birthday tomorrow and no one is really trying to hang out. I just feel like over the last year shes done nothing but expect us all to do what SHE wants...now everyone's tired and dont want to go and spend a ton of money on a night out when we can be at home doing the same for not even half the price. I love her, but life is hard as it is. WHY can't she be a better friend to us all? I'll never get it. Weve all been so nice to her as well and i think she just MUST have control, but the thing is we all just want to be able to be ourselves. I feel bad, i feel like Sarah is always going to break down and do what she wants...even Fernando. Im pretty sure that's why she gets upset with me, because the second i feel like youre trying to be in control of me..or make me feel less then, i just wont come around. Its actually that simple for me. I have such a hard time being around most women that are older then me. I also feel like mr. dub is literally constantly lying to me. I cant stand it. Ive never met someone so exhausting to be around besides my own blood relatives. i suppose that's used to draw me to him. I used to love how much he reminds me of my father. ..now all it does is stress me out. Its a drag actually. Looking back im not even sure why i clinged on so tight, besides the fact that he truly reminds me of my dad. the devil. I hope one day i can forgive them both for all the pain they have caused me over the years. It's even more exhausting to constantly relive through all that pain. I think my dad used to be one hell of a man. He was full of courage, love, and excitement. He hated people but he would give the shirt off his back if he felt like he should. Sometimes i wonder what really happened in his head in 2010...what made him so unhappy all of a sudden...was it really his marriage to Angela? Was it money? Did he really hate all of us at home all the time? or did he hate the fact that we weren't home enough? I wish he wouldn't of shoved me away so much. Some days its hard to love myself because i wonder why he raised me to be someone he was going to hate for the rest of his life. Its funny too, considering he never can go a week without talking his mommy. Yet, he expects his own children to be able to live a life without him, any guidance, etc. I wish i didn't hate him, I wish i could just forget about him completely. Anyway, more on that later...

Also, why the fuck are men so God damn gross?! AND fucking just pathetic most days. I truly dont get it. NO one wants to see you little dick, no one wants to hear about your stupid fantasies, no one gives a fuck about what you look like without a shirt and pants on. I mean good grief....The amount of guys that grossly still hit me up from high school...talking about 'wow i would love to see you, ya know i had a big crush on you back then' like yea yea yea sure sure sure...baby go get off somewhere else and leave me alone. I find it sad. Maybe guys really do have that hard of a time to find someone that they can sleep with on the regular...but truthfully they shouldnt be hitting people up from 10 years ago because they are horny. Its disgusting and sad. SO SO sad. Yall need Jesus. Well thats all for now, im going to go shower and maybe cut my babies hair. <3

you're loved, you dont need your dad or any other man for that matter to tell you otherwise. IM sorry people have always let you down, maybe one day when youre gone, they will actually miss you. stay strong, keep smiling, and for the love of God, finish the lost boy tonight.

XO, Ashh

[mindflayerhargrove]

Cry About it

Toxic!Billy Hargrove x toxic! Reader

Warnings: mentions of violence/physical abuse, toxic relationship, injuries mentioned, angst, not-so-happy ending, sad reader, sad Billy, please let me know if I missed any, it’s my first fic!!

Summary: Kind of was inspired by Love the Way You Lie by Eminem (ft. Rihanna). But I also added a line from Happier than Ever by Billie Eilish too, because it made sense.

Authors note: YALL, I’m scared. I’m terrified. I wrote this so sporadically throughout the day, I don’t even know how it is because I know if I read it, I’ll change my mind. So, I’m take a chance and posting this now. I kind of based this off a song, but it’s how I envisioned a relationship with Billy Hargrove would be like, just because the SOB would be toxic. But I’m nervous and scared and didn’t quite proofread so I’m so sorry if it’s shit. But anyways, hope y’all at least find it decent!!

Ps: also the formatting is shit because I don’t own a laptop and wrote this on the google docs app, just to paste it here 🤗.

Your wobbly legs bring you up the steps into the Hargrove residence. You fumble with the keys, your hands shaky as you jam the correct one and unlock the door. Without much of a second glance behind you, you slam the door, only for it to be caught by Billy’s hand.

“The fuck you trying to slam doors for?” He shouts. He was already starting this shit. Not even five minutes of entering his house and he was starting his bullshit.

“Cry about it.” You snapped back.

You stomp over to the room on the left side of the hallway and swing the door open. His heavy footsteps trailed behind you, and before you could attempt to shut the door again, he stopped it with his boot cladded foot.

“Dont fucking walk away from me. What’s your fucking problem?” He flails his arms out, letting them fall back to his side with a dramatic ‘thud’.

You kept your back turned to him, arms crossed over your heaving chest. You shut your eyes for a moment as if to calm yourself down in some way, but you don’t answer him. He knew very well what your ‘problem’ was - it was a trick question, really.

“Huh? Look at me when I’m talking to you, y/n,” he stares at the back of your head, and when he doesn’t get a response, he felt anger bubble in the depths of his core, “I said fucking look at me!” He shouted suddenly, making you jump.

You didn’t understand how things escalated within such a small amount of time between the two of you, but it seemingly always did. You invited him to be your plus one at someone’s house party. The night was going well, you two were having a blast. That was until he saw you chatting up the town’s freak, Eddie Munson, near the house’s back entrance. Billy saw red. In his eyes, you had been flirting with the metalhead; the way you nudged his shoulder playfully or how your head threw back in a fit of laughter at one of his stupid ass jokes. Everything happened so quickly as he approached the two of you, threatening to throw punches if the little shit didn’t scram.

It wasn’t a secret your relationship with him was..complicated. You lost count on how many public arguments and screaming matches you both got into at school. Everyone who was rooting for the two of you changed their minds rather quickly. You were y/n l/n, the girl who finally tamed Billy Hargrove. Little did they know.

You whipped around, now facing a red-faced Billy. “You’re kidding, right? You can’t be that dense Hargrove, come on.” You let out a dry laugh, giving him a look that only fueled his anger more.

“You’re really going to sit there and act like you didn’t just embarrass me in front of my friend? In front of all of Hawkins High!” You held your arms out and they too fell to your sides.

He scoffed. “Embarrass you? How do you think I felt, when..when my fucking girlfriend was all over some other prick, huh? How do you think that made me feel, y/n? You made me look like a fucking cuck in front of everyone.” He dragged his hand along his chin as if in disbelief.

“You know what I think, y/n, ” He began, taking a few steps toward you, “I think you like doing this to me. You like hurting me, don’t you?” He was closer to you now. You take an instinctive step back, your neck craning to meet his burning gaze. His eyes were red from the alcohol he consumed earlier that night.

“You’re fucking ridiculous.” You whispered. He chuckled darkly.

“And you’re a fucking slut.”

Your eyes widened at his statement. It came out from his lips with no remorse, with such ease. Did he really think that lowly of you? The same person who stood by him all this time, despite the constant degrading and making you feel as though you were inferior. The same girl who welcomed him to her home with open arms whenever his dad gave him another black eye or the stress of his own home was getting too much. You offered him an escape for a little while, protected him with everything you had as you held him close when he needed to muffle his sobs from the outside world. This is what your boyfriend really felt about you?

Without thinking, you raised your hand and went to connect it to his face, but in your inebriated state your movements were slower. Apparently it wasn’t the same to him. You caught your wrist in his hand and squeezed it tightly, inching closer to you so you walked back, consequently cornering yourself between the wall and himself. A whimper traps in your throat as you desperately try to pry your wrist from his iron grasp.

“B-billy..y-you’re hurting me..” your voice was hoarse,barely above an octave, hinting at the small amount of fear in the pit of your stomach.

“Billy, Billy,” he mocked, his words laced with venom, “stop your fucking whining. This is what you wanted, right? To piss me off, hm?”

You can’t remember a time you’ve seen him this angry. It almost scared you. No matter how bad your arguments were or how much you’ve managed to frustrate him, he’s never laid a finger on you. Ever. You found yourself cowering, lowering yourself as his face inched closer. He yanked you up to your feet, his free hand coming to grab ahold of your jaw and force you to look at him. Another whimper escaped your parted lips.

“What’s wrong? You were talking so much shit on the way here, now you have nothing to say?”

You turned your head. You were shaking now. This wasn’t Billy. This wasn’t the same man you fell head over heels for. The same man who held you close during your darkest hours; the same man who promised you that he would take you awake from Hawkins once you both graduated. Something that you once looked forward to, but now the idea terrified you.

“Look at me y/n,” He hummed in a dangerous tune, “I said fucking look at me.” He snapped your head towards his direction, making you gasp.

You felt your chest tightening with the little space you had. The walls were closing in on you and there was no escape. With tears streaming down your face you placed your hands on his chest and gave a push.

“Get off of me.” You croaked. When he wouldn’t budge, you gave another push, making him stumble slightly, but to no avail, he didn’t move another muscle. Your gaze met his for a mere second and was met with a smug look on his face. This prick was enjoying this.

“I said fucking get off of me Billy.” You moaned, warning him a final time.

“Or what, gonna cry some more? Gonna call me more names?” He gave you a fake pout, his head lowering to make you look him in the eyes.

You’ve gone feral now, shoving at his chest with all your might, sobs finally coming forth with the built up frustrations and hurt from tonight. From the day before, from weeks prior. He placed both hands on the wall to enclose you as you now used your shoulder to run into his body, only to be met with a pathetic “thump”.

“Calm down,” he warned, his tone rising in his own frustration, but it didn’t stop you from fighting for your free space, “Jesus fucking Christ calm down!”

His hand grabbed a hold of your jaw once more, pinning you against the wall behind you. The sudden movement made your head fly back towards the barrier behind you. You let out a muffled cry. Your eyes brimmed with more tears as the dull ache at the back of your head began to turn into a throb. You closed your eyes and shook your head mumbling out words even you couldn’t quite make out through your sobs. Billy couldn’t do anything but stare at your face. For a moment his hardened features softened. He felt his own eyes sting with tears.

This isn’t what he wanted. In hindsight, he knew he had been the source of all his problems; his possessiveness and inability to trust you fully tugged at something inside of him that made him react in ways he didn’t quite understand himself. Even through it all, you stayed by his side. He never questioned it, but he never understood how someone could be so willing to stay with him. So patient with him and open to calming him down whenever hell broke loose.

But this,

This was his lowest. No matter how angry you’ve gotten him, he never thought to have you crying while he put his hands on you. It didn’t settle in the damage he caused until he saw you press your head against the wall to gain some momentary relief from the pain aching in your skull.

“Fuck..fuck!” He pushed himself off of you and began paced across his bedroom. His fingers ran through his hair and tugged. Anxiety and frustration still sat heavy on his chest.

You allowed yourself to slide onto the carpeted floor, knees brought to your chest. You hugged your legs to yourself and rested your head on your kneecaps. You couldn’t look at him - not like this. The room remained quiet except for the occasional mutterings that came from him.

His eyes fell on you and your small frame. If heartbreak could kill, he’d drop dead upon looking at you. The man rushed to your side, kneeling in front of you carefully, as if you’d break if he’d touch you. And maybe you would. From the quiet sobs and shaking, you were no more fragile than a porcelain doll.

“Baby..baby..” he whispered urgently to you. He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, rubbing small circles in a soothing manner.

Under his touch you tense up. You shrugged him off and pushed yourself up to your feet. Billy watched you grab the stuff you had thrown on the floor upon your arrival, scurrying to throw them back in your purse.

“Baby, what are you..what..hey, hey,” he rushed up to you once more, trying to grab ahold of your arm but you yanked it from his gentle grasp.

“Don’t! Don’t..just..don’t.” You put your hand up to him and shook your head.

“Y/n, please, just listen..look, I’m sorry. Okay? I didn’t mean to..I just..I got so upset and I didn’t see,”

“Didn’t see what, Billy, huh? How you put your hands on me? Made me feel small for the..,” you pretended to count in your head, “hundredth time? What didn’t you see exactly?” You stared at him blankly, waiting for some kind of explanation that you knew you weren’t going to get.

“I just..I..,” he sputtered out with desperation, “I saw you with him and..and I just..y/n. I’m sorry..I really am. It won’t happen again, baby, please just don’t..” he found himself blocking his doorway.

“Billy..we can’t keep doing this. This,” you gestured towards the both of you, “isn’t healthy. We’re not healthy.”

Tears stung his eyes as his lower lip began to tremble. If there was one thing that made sense in this hick town it was you. You kept him sane but drove him off the deep end all in one. You were his sanctuary, his home, but could make him feel so unwanted and needy at the same time. But he wouldn’t have it any other way; it’s what he wanted, what he was comfortable with. The idea of losing you was a risk he didn’t want to take. He was never good at letting go, after all.

“Sweetheart, don’t say that. Don’t fucking say that,” he took your hands and held them close to his chest. He peppered your knuckles and fingertips with soft kisses, just how he knew you liked, “I need you, baby. I can’t do this alone without you.”

Now it was your turn to hold back your tears. Your bottom lip trembled as you stared down at him. Your heart would have fluttered at the sight, but it just brought more sadness to your aching chest. You gently removed your hands from him and shook your head.

“I’m not good for you. I’m not, okay? It isn’t just you Billy..I..” you sighed and turned your heel.

“Not good for me?” He asked incredulously. It didn’t register with him how you could even think that. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“No..I mean it,” he sits at the edge of his bed, pulling you to him to sit beside him. “,I can’t imagine anyone else who can relate to me in any way..make me feel something other than lonely or..or..worthless..I just can’t..”

You looked at him, a bit taken back, but angry by his choice of words. Relate to you, you thought. The anger earlier from tonight finally surfaced again. You stood up and towered over him. A shaky finger pointing at your chest.

“Relate to you? Relate to you? No, I don’t relate to you at all,” you arms added emphasis to your words, “because I would never treat me this shitty, Billy Hargrove.”

He looked up at you with wide eyes. He was too stunned to speak. You picked up your bags in a hurry and turned your heels. With your hand on the doorknob, a glance over your shoulder you shake your head.

Part of you felt you were making a huge mistake leaving him. There was a pang of guilt. There was a fear of what lay dead ahead. The end of Y/n l/n and Billy Hargrove. A scary ending indeed but one that couldn’t have felt more..freeing to you.

“Goodbye, Billy..”

[rotten-plum]

Zoro X AFAB Reader

MDNI 18+

CW: Degradation, name calling, breeding, dirty talk

AN: This is my first fic I am ever posting. Be gentle. Honestly just some shameless smut. Some drabble I have had on the mind lately. Zoro is a dom to me and I think he would fuck just like this lol let me know what yall think. I would like to post more but with school, work, and a baby we can only see. If you have any helpful suggestions or tips I would love to hear it.

Pre-time skip Zoro (at least in my mind)

Please don’t repost

Zoro shoved your head into the floor of the crow’s nest. One hand gripping your hair, the other holding your hip. He slowly pushed his cock in and out of your dripping wet cunt, pulling it all the way out before brutally shoving it back in. Mesmerized by your greedy pussy swallowing him entirely with each thrust. You tried your best to control the volume of your moans, but Zoro tugged your hair every time you got too quiet for his taste.

“Zoro, please,” you begged.

He grunted as he let go of your hair, harshly gripping your hips and pulling your ass up more to meet his hips. His thrust went from slow and teasing to fast and hard, fucking you with no mercy.

“You wanted to be treated like a slut today, huh? You could’ve just asked rather than flirt with that stupid cook right in my face,” he huffed.

“No! It wasn’t like th-ah,” you moaned. Zoro snapped his hips, hitting your sweet spot as a sign to shut your mouth. No amount of groveling would change the relentless pace he was going. Truthfully you couldn’t get enough of Zoro’s wrath. He had been sleeping and training most of the day, oblivious to all the advances you threw his way. You finally had enough, so you turned to your last resort, Sanji. One sweet smile and flirty giggle the blonde’s way, and suddenly you had Zoro’s full attention. When Sanji turned away from you, Zoro grabbed your arm, taking you straight to the crow’s nest, which is how you got exactly what you wanted from the swordsman, an amazing fuck.  

Once satisfied, Zoro’s thrust finally stopped now that you were a babbling mess. He brought his hands behind his head while looking down where you both connected. “Fuck yourself on my cock like a good slut.”

You followed his command and threw yourself back onto Zoro’s dick as fast and hard as his previous pace. Since he was so strong, no matter how rough you fucked yourself on him, Zoro didn’t budge. Giving you free rein to as much pleasure as you desired. Screaming and moaning about how much you adored his cock. He tried hard to remain composed as he watched your pussy swallow him with each thrust. Your dripping cunt was clenching around his thick cock, begging for release. Zoro loved that he was the only one who could bring you to this state. A slutty mess who could only think about his dick, needing to be fucked by only him. He couldn’t take how tightly you squeezed his dick anymore.

“Cum on my cock now.”

Without missing a beat, you threw yourself back, taking all of Zoro’s cock deep inside you, cumming on command. Grinding yourself on his dick, trying to prolong your pleasure. Zoro’s resolve finally snapped, bringing his body down to cover yours, caging you against the ground. He brought one arm around your neck as he started to brutally fuck you through your orgasm, his breathy moans against your neck.

“Z-Zoro! Too much, I c-can’t..”

“You can take it,” he groaned into your ear. “Take it like the good slut you are. You wanted to be fucked like a whore, ya?”

“Yes,” you sobbed. Tears were coming to your eyes from the overstimulation.

“Cum for me again. Make a mess for me.”

You felt Zoro smirk against your neck as he pounded into you even harder. The sound of his balls slapping against your pussy echoed through the crow’s nest. Another orgasm built quickly since your pussy was still sensitive from the first. You screamed as you let yourself go on Zoro’s dick, your pussy spasming from the pleasure as you squirted all over him. Making a mess just like he had asked. He groaned, getting lost in the intense pleasure of your pussy, his hips never slowing. Soon his thrust became sloppy, and you knew he was close to finishing.

“Cum inside me, please, Zoro. Please fill me up.”

His arm tightened around your neck. You could feel his cock twitch at your pleas. He moaned into your ear, his pace never slowing down.

“Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours!”

“Whose cock do you love?”

“Yours!”

“Who fucks you the best?”

“You! You, Zoro! You do, I can’t get enough!”

Your cries finally pushed Zoro over the edge as he let out a deep moan. He shoved himself deep into your tight cunt, painting your walls with his cum. You couldn’t hold back one last orgasm over his pulsing cock. Zoro held himself against you while you both came down from each other high. He carefully slipped himself out from your messy cunt, hypnotized by your pretty pussy gradually dripping his seed.

You panted on the ground, ass still in the air as you were still reeling from your orgasms. You shot up and yelped from the sudden pain when Zoro pinched your butt. He grabbed you, pulling you close as he kissed your neck just as you were about to scold him. You giggled from the kisses wrapping your arms around his.

“C’mon, beautiful, let’s get you cleaned up.”

[michaelsbigreddick]

Bad at Love-E.M x f!reader

Y/n and Eddie are far from perfect but they always find a way to make it work. Or at least she thought. After a petty argument over what movie they should watch, y/n goes to apologize to eddie. Only to find out he already had company.

Warnings! Mentions of drug and illegal activities! Mdni 18+

Pairing- Eddie x female reader (she/her)

I didn't post this yesterday because I worked all day then stayed up to watch V2 and then proceeded to cry the rest of the night, so my apologies for being late.

This is pt 1 out of maybe a 2 or 3 part series:) Hope yall enjoy! <3

_________

"Robin I can't deal with what I just saw! I think its because I just can't, I can't fucking believe it! 

“What happened this time y/n?” her tone was flat, tired of anything and everything that had to do with your relationship. But it didn't stop you from sharing anyway. 

“Guess! Guess what happened!” you were pacing around her room. Yelling once more about your on and off boyfriend, and love of your life, Eddie munson. 

She was used to it by now, the fight picking you both did because neither of you felt good enough for the other for one reason or another. Maybe you would feel insecure when some chick would try flirting with him during your trips out of town together, or he would feel like you found someone at college. Regardless of what it was, or who was in the wrong you were never on the outs for long. And when you were, Robin would have to sit there and listen. Sometimes over the phone, but when you were in town, in the comfort of her room. 

She was laying comfortably in bed running ger glittery green fingertips down the back of her purring cat. A bored expression sitting her face. 

“You know what? Don't guess because, Jesus it's so unbelievable you won't be able to guess it.’ you took a deep breath trying to put the words together. 

“I was, I was going to Eddie's house, ya'know, like I told you I was going to. I started it this time, my turn to apologize. As im pulling up to his house, I see fucking,” the tears begin to swell in your eyes. “fucking Chrissy Cunningham!” 

She sat up mouth agape. “No way. No, Y/n tell me youre joking.” she walked across her bed on her knees. “No way, are you sure it was her?”  you nod your head scared you'd break into tears if you said another word.

“Maybe he was like selling her something? Or or or, god I don't know,” she started to bite on her lip looking for something to comfort you. 

“No he does his fucking drug dealing. anywhere but home Robin. Why else would they go to his trailer after the game?” you sat down at the edge of her bed. She moved herself next to you. 

“Maybe he forgot it?” she gave you a weak smile. You offered one back but your trembling lips couldn't hold it together for long.  A sob escaped them. 

You never thought it would ever end, Not really. You would yell and scream and swear it was over, but then you would both cool off. Everything would fall back into place and you would have the best make up sex imaginable. 

You thought there was nothing that could ever really keep the two of you apart for long. Especially if the fight was over something as dumb as what movie you were going to put on to pretend to watch but them ultimately end up catching up on all the sex you missed out on during college. 

“Its alright. It probably was just a drug thing. And doesn't she have a boyfriend? ” she tries to reassure you. 

“Everyone knows she's as clean as a whistle Robin, and... I had a boyfriend when we first started hanging out too, remember?” she hummed remembering. 

“Yeah well you guys are in love. He's literally stupid for you y/n! Thats part of why he's still in high school. You distracted the hell out of him last year, remember? It's a miracle you even graduated.” She wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled your tear stained face into her.

  You sniffled remembering the good times. When things were still fresh, all the angst and build up to him finally having the guts to make his first move. You were both such bad influences for each other when it came to school. You couldn't help it, and neither could he. As cheesy as it sounded, you couldn't stand being apart from each other. 

“I just, I'm really scared I finally pushed him over the edge. And God chrissy? She is easily the second prettiest girl in school.” Robin smiled, accepting that you were calling her the first. 

“He couldn't go for the first of course, That's my best friend.”

“That would be crossing a whole other line.” she laughed. “Look, why don't you just call him tomorrow? Talk things out when you're a little more calm…I mean really, what are the chances he and the top chear leader are hooking up right now?”

Your stomach churned at the idea. You imagined him laying her down in the same bed you were supposed to be laying on instead of the soaking chest of your best friend. A loud sob escaped again followed by more. 

“God I am not very good at this huh.” your best friend said sighing at her failure to make you feel better. She leaned you down on her bed, taking your shoes off that you were too distracted to take off earlier. 

Getting into bed she sat up against her headboard, and threw the blanket over the both of you. You scooted over to her and lay your head on her lap.She begins to caress your head letting you spill out your fears and worries, and the last of your tears till you ultimately fall asleep. 

_._._._

You wake up the next morning to the sight of Robin wiping last nights eyeliner off. 

“Morning.” she says groggly.

“Morning.” you smile. You would apologize for coming to her house and crying so hard you stayed the night, but you were so close all you had to offer was a thank you. 

After having a quick breakfast, you dropped her off in time for work. Nearing your house a knot began to grow in your chest. Three cop cars were pulled up in front of it. You were barely able to park. 

Exiting your car your mom comes out of the door screaming your name. 

“Jesus, Y/n honey! You're safe.” she engulfs you in a breath squeezing hug. 

“Why wouldn't I be mom?’ that was when you remembered that you hadn't called home to let her know you were going to stay at Robins. 

“I was at Robin's mom. You should have called hers instead of…” you looked around at the police officers. A mixture of relief and concern plastered on their faces.

“I'm home. You can all go now.” you rub your moms back slowly trying to pry her off of you. 

“Thats, that's not the only reason they're here hun.” she looked at you with sorry eyes. They led you inside to your living room. 

'Let's take a seat lovebug.' You sit down on your couch facing the officers across from you. 

When the words left their  mouth you didn't think you were hearing them correctly. You couldn't believe that the words had even come out of their mouths just then. 

“We found a student of Hawkens High, Chrissy Cunningham, dead in your boyfriends trailer.”

"And so what? You think Eddie did this?" You knew you probably sounded like a delusional girlfriend. That was exactly what all the signs made it look like that, but it was Eddie. Your Eddie, you couldn't help but get defensive. 

“We're not saying anything. But his uncle was at the plant all night. Can you tell us where you were again, Miss Henderson.”

“For christ's sake I told you guys once I got here! I was at Robins last night!”

“Your mother told us that you were going to spend the night with,”

“Yea well that didn't happen. If you're so concerned about where I was you can ask the Buckleys. I'm sure they heard my embarrassing crying last night.” you roll your eyes, holding on tighter to your mothers warm hand. 

“Why were you crying honey?"

“Was there an altercation with Mr. Munson? If that were the case did he try,” you held your palm out signaling them to stop. 

“Don't you even dare try finishing that sentence. Eddie wouldn’t hurt a fucking fly. I need you to leave my house.” you got up from the couch, dropping your mothers hand. You were trembling, with anger, fear, frustration, whatever it was it had taken over. "Get out of my fucking house!”  You were confused on so many different levels. But there was one thing you were completely sure of, Eddie didn't hurt her. 

You saw your brother peeking his head out of his room.You knew he was hearing everything from the other side of the wall, he wasn't dumb, and the walls were thin. Eddie meant a whole lot to him too and there was no way you were going to let them make such claims under your roof. 

“Get out!” you screamed at them one last time. The slim cop with a mustache jumped, and slowly backed his way to the door. The sheriff took a quick glance at your mother then back at you. He nodded at your mother. She walked them out. You could hear them talk behind the door. The sound of them pulling away from the house followed.

You sat back down on your couch with your face in your hands. This felt worse than any feeling you had felt the night before. You couldn't keep it together. The facade of the strong older sister, the role of the supportive daughter, it was slipping away, melting off with each tear. 

Your mom came back in and sat on the recliner aside from you. Dustin finally slipped out of his room.

“Y/n?" He walked over to you slowly. Maybe he was worried you'd snap on him too. Regardless he knelt down in front of you and placed his hand on your knee. 

“I don't know what happened last night. Or what your dumb fight was about, which was probably the reason you went to Robins house… Whatever it is..whatever happened. It's gonna be okay.” you leaned down onto him, holding him as tight as you could.

When you get up from the couch and give him another quick hug. 

“I'm going to take a quick shower then we’ll talk more okay?” 

Dusting nodded. There was a loud knock at the door. He walked over swiftly to answer it. Your face softened when you saw who it was. Max Mayfield. She greeted you all quickly, pulling Dustin into his room. She looked different. Sadder even. You didn't expect her to be the same after the death of her brother. But there wasn't a touch of paranoia in her eyes that was unsettling. 

“Hun, the police want you to go in for questioning. They also want to have you escorted till they find him.” your mom says pulling you from your thoughts. 

“What? I told them to screw off and they want to baby sit me now?”

“They just think he might come looking for you…honey I think it's better to be safe than sorry.” she was looking at the ground when she said this. You couldn't believe she would consider the thought of it being true. She knew him. He was always so great with her. And even with your constant bickering, she knew the both of you loved each other like no one else in the world. 

“ I don't think he did what they said he did, I really hope not.” she said, squeezing your hand. 

“Mom!”

“Im being honest here bug. I just, even if he didn't do anything, I don't think it's a good idea to be seen anywhere near him right now. Not till things cool down.” she caressed your cheek. You knew she was doing her best. But god was it annoying that she didn't believe in his innocence.

You showered till the water went cold. Leaving the warm safety of the running water would mean that it was all real. You took even longer to get ready. Just as you were about to leave for questioning you noticed your open window. You had sworn that you closed it before going to Eddies. 

You started to look around your room for anything that was out of place. The last place you checked was where you found what you were looking for. A sign of him.

You plop onto your bed. Your hands shake a single folded up piece of paper. Your name was written across the first fold. 

"y/n, I really wish i let you choose that movie. You're right, you're always right. The Breakfast Club is one of the best movies to ever exist."

You chuckle knowing he was just saying that to stop the fight. 

"You might start to hear some things about me. Maybe you already have. I just want you to know that whatever it is that they say, it isn't true. I know that you're able to see over everything else that they've ever said, but this is different. I wish I could tell you what happened but I don't even know what went on. Chrissy Cunningham, the cheerleader, slipped me a note after class. She wanted me to deal her something. I met with her after the game because she wanted something stronger than weed. I didn't want to carry that shit around with me. I'm not an idiot. So I drove her to my uncles so i could give it to her there. She was in the living room when I was looking for the stuff. When I came back with it, she was off, and then everything happened. I don't know how to explain it. I came here to tell you what happened, to apologize about the dumb fight. I wanted to see you one last time before whatever happens, happens. I'm scared but I'll be okay knowing you believe me. At least I hope you do. I'm going to where we had our first kiss.  

Love you so fucking much

Eddie"

You were relieved that he was safe. The place where you had shared your first kiss was the lake across from his dealers house. The guy was out of town and Eddie took advantage of that. You spent a day there. Turning the music up as loud as you could, smoking and drinking, making the dumbest jokes imaginable. By the end of the day, still high and a little drunk but definitely more sober than before, he pulled out the boat from the shed and you paddled to the very middle before realizing it had a motor. You were laughing so hard you were on the verge of rocking the boat. 

It was perfect the way the moment just presented itself. On the lake, both of you high enough to hear the water beneath and around you move with such a clarity, the reflection of the stars above you cascaded off the water, lighting up his pale skin, and showing you the lustful look in his eyes. 

“I want to kiss you” he had said to you. 

“So kiss me.” he smiled and leaned into you. His soft lips fit into yours like they were made for them. You'd never felt that before. The need or want to kiss someone the way you did him. With others it felt like something you had to do, up down, take a breath, touch their neck, maybe slip some tongue in. But with him, it was easy. No thought was necessary, you could kiss him all day if he'd let you. 

Your mind went back to how he said he couldn't explain what happened. The last time you had heard someone say that to you it had to do with the upside down. You hoped to god that it didn't have to do with it. You were so grateful he'd gone so long in the dark about what has been going on in Hawkins. This was the last thing he needed. 

If it wasn't official before. It was now, you were going to find him and help him prove his innocence.

[sailorhyunjinz]

Do you write yandere? If so, can I request skz yandere headcanons on how they would react when S/O rejects them because she doesn't wanna deal with whole drama that would come with dating an idol?

i mean kinda?? i have a seungmin yandere fic in my drafts sooo BUT YEAH

oh also, requests are not open but im just gonna do this one cause headcanons are kinda fun BUT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED <33

also why is the felix one so short-

Warnings; yandere!skz, rejection, k-dnapping, slight gaslightning or like manipulation, restraints, threats, aggression, mentions of masturbation, stockholm syndrome

Chan

nobody rejects him. nobody.

you two were friends from school and you were sooo happy when chan made it as an idol, finally persuing the dream he had been yapping on about for years. 

but in the midst of that he realized that he had feelings for you, he missed you all the time, just wanting to hang out with you and maybe explore the things he had on his mind. so,, he decided to confess when you guys were at a cafe.

“look y/n,,, there’s something I wanna tell you” he started to which you tilted your head

“nooo,,, are you guys going on a tour again,,, i wil miss you sooo much channie” you said with a pout but the boy shook his head.

“i like you y/n” 

your mouth stood agape, this was not what you expected and truthfully,,, not what you wanted. 

“chan,,, y-you know thats not possible” you said with a frown, looking at him straight ahead.

“of course it is,,, why wouldn’t it be? w-what are you trying to say y/n?!” his voice started growing louder, you looking around in order to see that people werent turning their heads towards your table. 

Minho

you have made a big big mistake my friend- 

wont even hesitate to keep you hostage in his basement LIKE IM NOT JOKING-

might just tie you up and like,,, not even do anything to you, just talk to you and admire you, maybe tracing your facial features and cuddle closer on the cold floor

just wants to keep you as a pet or smth and you are scared out of your mind cause you cant move cause of the restraints, you cant speak because you have silvertape across your lips that he only removes to feed you but if you start screaming you wont get any so you deicde to just stay calm and quiet before someone saves you and play along. 

i mean you do,,, kinda fall for him but you know you cant,, but you cant help but to fall for him and miss him whenever he’s out on schedule things

he always returns to you and you get so happy when you see the little crevice of light from outside when he opened the basement door

whenever he lies next to you, you put your head against his shoulder and take in his scent the best you can

he told you everyday that he would let you go if you agreed to date him but you shook your head,, maybe cause you liked being his prey. 

Changbin

he’s more of the threatening type of yandere,,, like,, not that he’s violent but if you try to block his number he will create new ones and keep on sending you messages about how you have betrayed him and how he wished that you loved him back and all that,,,,

you guys often meet because you go to the same college and are students in the same department sooo,,,, avoiding him is pretty impossible 

he stares a lot at you,,, you guys have a couple of classes together and he just stares the entire time, his eyes are just filled with revenge, he somehow wants you make you his, own you but he doesnt know how yet, for now he can just look.

watch this fucking message conversation just be this;

[why did you talk to him during class?]

[you could have just asked me]

[nobody loves you like i do. no one y/n]

you are never getting rid of him basically,,

he’s gonna get to you first ;))

Hyunjin

i feel like he goes more to the stalking route than the kidnapping and drugging and whatnot- 

ok,,, you rejected him,,, but that doesnt mean you’re getting rid of him.

ohmygod what if he turns into a peeping tom- cause he obviously knows where you live. 

like yall were not even that close?? he just saw you backstage at one of the concerts and thought you looked good so he decided to go up to, you werent an idol so no problem he thought.

but he gets a bit too,, hasty with his decisions and often falls for people randomly and so when he politely greeted you and gave you his number you simply shook your head, explaining that this wouldn’t be possible since you worked in the same industry and you needed to stay clear out of any scandals in order to keep your job. 

no was not answer in Hyunjins mind. 

luckily he managed to catch your full name by flickering through some papers in an office and also saw your full adress there, knowing exactly what he was going to do on his free time. 

Jisung

if im being completely honest,,, i have no idea-

like,,, he gives me kinda pervy yandere vibes,,,

what if youre like his ex before he became an idol and now he wants to get back together with you-

oh,,, he masturbates to your pictures-

i feel like he always thinks about you, wondering what you like and wants to write songs about you but he doesnt do much-

but when he finds out that you have been hired by the same company as him to work as a like,,, economics accountant thingy he is all of a sudden vEEERY interested-

always asking the manager of when the group will have meetings with the accounting team,,, although they had nothing to do with them-

he just wanted to be in a conference room with you (and think pervy things about you in your tight office skirt and white blouse)

you went to the toilet on day and you saw him lurking around the same floor,,, WHICH ONCE AGAIN WAS NOT CONNECTED TO THE GROUP AT ALL- 

and idk,,, probably sneaks in with you and locks the door before you even react that theres someone else in the toilet- 

i feel like he’s pretty mild,,, but when he’s alone with you he is aggressive broooo

probably pins you to the wall and threatens you or smth along those lines,,,,,

(writing this is what my life has become to-)

Felix

“what do you think you’re doing?”

you turn around again, you had just thought of just leaving with a vague answer to his question but he was not having it. 

“answer.” 

his words sounded cold, his dark voice making an entrace, the exact one you’ve heard on many of the songs you listened to.

“felix,,, you have to understand,,, u-um,, if we date theres gonna be some issues” you said but he just stared at you with cocky eyebrows and a dark gaze, running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

“do you think i care? would i ask you if i cared?” he said to which you shook your head automatically, what more could you do?

“you get until tomorrow to think and if i don’t get the answer i want well,,, we’ll see what i’ll do to you.”

Seungmin

he plots shit behind your back yk?

he’s more of the sneaky type of yanderes (oop spoiler to a fic heh)

like he makes this like fucking year long plan where the objective of the mission is to make you obssessed with him-

he starts kinda subtely,,, first its going to the same gym as you and like,,, knowing where you placed your stuff

and then he starts putting small notes like under your waterbottle when you went to grab something that say like “i think youre cute, call me” and then his number

you obviously dont react,,, because why the fuck would you contact a stranger at the gym 

BUT THEN you realize that its him, its mf kim seungmin. yo,,,, u didnt know he went to this gym,,, that was not,,, the best-

of course you got a bit interested,,, you wanted to know how he was off camera,,, like just in his everyday life and i meeean,,, he was attractive but obviously you should stay away bc,,, he’s a celebrity but seungmin didnt want to stay away

he notes somehow started to get more aggressive,,, suddenly being like “why are you ignoring me?” and such,,,

and one night you were left alone in the gym with him,,, it was sooo quiet, only the sounds of your strained breaths as you lifted a dumbell

here where the plan came to play ;))

Jeongin

he’s obsessed with you and you are not going anywhere, even if you rejected him. 

he’s more clingy?? LIKE HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU

ok sure,, he falls more into the stalking category too,,, 

also veeeery much a obssessed kinda yandere,,, like his mind is not thinking about how to like capture you,,, more about how to make you soooo comfortable and fool you into loving him despite the circumstances?

i just imagine that you work in a cafe and jeongin often meets you there when he buys coffee and you are already in awe when you see fucking yang jeongin enter the coffee shop on your shift but you were even more excited when he leaves his phone number on a napkin and slides it over the counter before leaving. 

you thought about it,,, contemplating multiple times but,,, you decided it would be best not to since well,,, safety purposes 

but he would visit you and every day his face got more and more perplexed cause he wondered why you didnt call

mf would not leave you alone, he would even wait outside the coffee shop until you finished your shift and walk you home,,, so now he knew where you lived- 

and then do the same thing over and over again until you talked to him.

does. not. give. up.