#i miss having someone there for me during this shit

[faynthearted]

this update is devastating for obvious reasons but there's something else I've been thinking about all day

yes, the box is a confirmation that guan shan considered he tian an important person in his life and that he never really moved on after he tian left. that realization is hard-hitting, but my god, there's another underlying component that makes this discovery especially emotional to me

after spending a lifetime in isolation (a deliberate choice for self-preservation btw), he tian now has physical, undeniable evidence that someone cares/cared for him. and not just the idea of him, not the physicality of him (guan shan literally covered his face with tape), but just him and the time they spent together

I imagine this realization must feel like if someone approached you in a quiet and windowless room and said, "there's a bad rainstorm happening outside." you would trust/understand what they're conveying and you'd have an idea of what a 'bad storm' entails. you'd say, "oof, that sucks, hopefully it lets up soon."

but if you actually got up and walked outside and felt the rain pelting your face like bullets and saw trees getting uprooted in the wind and streets flooding with swells of water and roofs getting torn off houses and streetlights shattered and collapsed in the intersections, you'd backpedal and think, "oh shit. I didn't know it was this bad."

that's what I think he tian might be experiencing in those last few panels.

during their school days, guan shan eventually started showing how much he cared about he tian. he tian trusted and understood what guan shan was trying to convey, and he got a taste of what it was like to care for someone and be cared for by someone. he sampled what it’s like to be important to someone, and to be seen by someone in both the dark and the light

but now, years later, opening that (bittersweet) memory box is like the equivalent of walking into the rainstorm. during the entire time he was gone, he tian was hoping that guan shan still remembered/missed him. he knew his absence probably hurt him, but since he wasn’t there to witness the aftermath, he only had an idea of what that hurt looked like. but his hope about guan shan’s feelings wasn't certain and it definitely wasn't verifiable. he tian had an idea of what ‘guan shan cared for me’ and ‘we shared something special’ meant. but, really, he only had memories and his own interpretation of those memories. nothing physical, nothing tangibly conclusive or outright

but now the rain feels like bullets and there’s devastation in knowing that the damage is significant — but somehow there’s also the touching revelation that he tian is lovable and capable of being wanted and missed. it is possible for someone to see the worst sides of him and endure the awful heartbreak he puts them through and still think he’s worth missing/grieving. he risked his self-preservation and the payoff was the best and worst thing that ever happened to him

the box and the layers of torn tape show that guan shan hates what he tian did to him but he doesn’t hate he tian. he kept and memorialized every significant memento in their relationship, even if he did it with some anger or reluctance. this is truly the best-case scenario, yet it’s also a wounding reminder about the time lost and the pain inflicted

at the end of the day, it just hurts

[eddiesvixen]

Just Like Paradise

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁, 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘀 (𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆), 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗛𝗮𝘄𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗝𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗺 𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟵

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗻𝘁: 𝟯.𝟳𝗸

the first chapter of Open ‘til Midnight

Friday mornings always start off simple for you. You wake up, get yourself clean and dressed up for work. Maybe have breakfast but if not, you usually pack some snacks to munch on behind the counter or go with Eddie to the diner near the store.

Eddie.

Your friend, best friend even. Since attending elementary school together, to summer concerts to working at Empire for 4 years now, you two are the closest friends. You look after each other, care for each other, dream of each other. Actually that might just be you.

The blaring horn of his van rings your ears as he approaches the curb.

“Sorry i’m late sweetheart.” He grins from the van, leaning over to open the door for you.

You sigh and climb into the passenger seat. “It’s fine. I like smelling like sweat during a long shift,” you remark sarcastically.

He groans and pulls off. “Wasn’t my fault, ozzy’s being a pain in my ass.”

“He scratch up another cd?”

“No, little shit keeps hiding my lanyard. Gonna have to make an entirely new one today.”

You laugh. “Oh, Hop’s gonna kill you. That’s like the third-”

“Third one this month?” He smirks, “He’ll have to catch me first.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re wearing a new perfume. Trying to impress someone?” He wiggles his brows suggestively, even more so teasingly.

“Can’t a girl just smell good?”

“Well yeah but you’re not fooling me. I remember when you wore that new skirt to impress that guy at the garage show in November, so.. spill.”

Damn you, Eddie. Why’s he so observant?

“Is it that blonde guy who buys all the Aerosmith? Because let me tell you, I’ve seen him pull at the doors too many times. They cleary say push.” He smiles.

“Aren’t you the guy who locked himself in the supply closet during a closing shift?”

He frowns, though there isn’t any real sadness behind it. “Sweetheart, that was one time. And how was I supposed to know that the lock was jammed.”

You giggle. “Yeah well don’t forget it tonight. Closing with you and Harrington just sounds like disaster waiting to happen.”

He smirks. “Give the guy some slack.”

“If he spent less time flirting with customers and more time pricing the cds we’d be alright.”

“And you don’t flirt with customers?” His smirk is accompanied by yet another raise of his brows.

“Shut it, Munson. Or I’ll make Hop put you on booth duty.”

Eddie cringes and shakes his head. “You’re so cruel.”

“And very hungry.”

He pulls into the parking lot of the diner. “Well we’ve got a solid 18 before the store opens so.. lets eat.”

~~~~

You’re full and grinning when you walk into the store with Eddie. You find yourself smiling everytime you walk into the store. On your worst days and nights, you’ve never been more grateful to work in a place like Empire, consistently surrounded by things and people you love.

When you walk into the back room you head into the employee restroom. Fixing your hair as you look into the mirror you do a smell check. Yeah.. the perfume is great. There’s no way you’d ever tell Eddie you wore it for his reaction alone.

Just like you wore these true religion jeans for his reaction. Curvy and dark wash, the bootcut flattering your curves. The cropped band tee on your body. You even did your makeup a little differently. A new lip combo you only miss he’d ruin.

You run your hands over your body. Feels good, looks good-

Knock, Knock.

“You better not be doing what I think you’re doing in there again.”

The voice is muffled by the door and still very amusing to hear. You open the door.

“Geez Harrington, what ever would I be doing in the restroom?”

His brows raise. “Oh, thought you were Munson.”

You smile, challenging him a bit. “What did you think Eddie was doing?”

“Nothing.” He shrugs but your mind isn’t gonna rest on the matter so he changes the topic quickly. “Listen, Hop said he wants to see you in his office anyways.”

“Me?” You don’t worry. It’s no secret that Jim loves all of his employees, his most reliable being you.

“Yeah. I’ll find Eddie next. Think it’s about our closing shift.”

He follows you as you walk towards Jim’s office. “Cool. I think Eddie just went to make a new ID.”

“Another?!” Steve laughs and shakes his head.

“Says ozzy hid it from him.”

“This guy and his cat. Okay, i’ll go get him.”

You nod and with that give a nice knock before walking into Jim’s office.

“Morning.” You grin.

He greets you by name. “Hey, how are you doing?”

“Good. Steve said you needed to see me?”

“Right, your closing shift. Listen, i’m gonna need to leave the store a bit early tonight.”

“Is everything alright?” He usually never leaves. He loves the place just as much as any of you.

“Everything’s fine. But just for tonight, I am leaving you in charge of the store.”

You smile. “Me? Are you sure?”

“I trust you.”

“You know, Chrissy’s coming in at 2 if you wanna ask her? Or maybe Robin?”

“You shying away from your opportunities?” He raises a brow.

“No! Just, sounds like a big responsibility is all. Plus I kinda stay in the metal section all day.”

“And that’s okay. I’m just telling you work freely today. Wherever you’re needed, just like me. Can you do that?”

“Of course.” You smile. “Won’t let you down.”

~~~~~~

By 1pm, the crowd of customers is chill, but growing per usual. Customers take up the listening booths, others reading vinyl covers and checking out the clearance section. Jonathan’s cleaning the booths, Steve organizes the pop section and doubling on another task, reading an article on the next Duran Duran album. Eddie’s across the store, talking to a customer. Some older guy who’s definitely judging how he’s dressed and he still does it with a smile.

“It’s just totally ridiculous.” Robin says eyeing down your expression.

You turn to face her. “What?”

“Oh nothing just, you know, watching my idiot friends who clearly want a piece of each other do absolutely nothing about it.”

“Robin for the millionth time. Friends. Platonic with a capital P. Those are literally your words.”

“Uh, yeah. Because im a lesbian and Steve’s a nut. That’s platonic. But two people who share beds, share drinks, share underwear-”

Your eyes widen. “Okay that was one time.”

She smiles. “Once during movie night, another after leaving the pool.”

“Okay well movie night I bled through mines so I had no choice. And as for the pool, my clothes were drenched Rob. What was he supposed to do, let me freeze my bare ass off?”

“Fine whatever. That still doesn’t mean you dont wanna bone each other.”

You cringe. “Bone? Please don’t tell me that’s what you and Vickey call it.”

“Well at least someone’s getting some.” She winks. “But seriously, are you not gonna talk to him about this?”

“No, Robin. Look at this place. Look at me and Eddie. That’s my best friend. I don’t need some little feelings getting in the way of that.”

“Getting in the way of what?” Eddie says from behind you.

“Geez Munson are you trying to give us a heart attack?”Robin rolls her eyes.

Eddie laughs. “Excuse me for doing my job.” He tucks some cds under the shelf and holds one behind his back.

“Whatcha got there, rockstar?” You raise a brow.

“Just a little surprise for my favorite metalist.”

Robin teasingly mouths the word favorite before she walks off with a stack of vinyls. You grin and focus back on the cd.

You gasp. “Holy shit.” You take the cd. “Skyscraper?! Where the hell did you even find this?”

The sold out pretty quickly when they hit the shelves. In all honesty who doesn’t love David Lee Roth.

“Under the shelf in the break room. Dropped my ID and he was hiding under the sofa.” He smirks, proud of the smile he caused on your face.

“Wow. Thanks Eddie.” You smile.

“No need for that. But how about we give him a spin for the speakers, give everyone a taste of last year?”

“Deal.”

Eddie pops the cd in, and plays it loud for the intercom of the store. From Knucklebones to Just like Paradise, you smile and dance a bit behind the counter as you scan in your cds. Leaving a small wave to Hopper as he exits the store at 2 and Chrissy walks in. Time for you to leave the counter and become manager.

~~~~~

You grabbed a clipboard and got to checking and making sure things were in place. Vinyls, check. Bathrooms, clean. Customers, attended to. When the clock strikes 5pm you decide to take a break.

In the back room, you sit on the sofa and take off your boots, letting your feet rest on the rug. The soft cotton of your socks nuzzling the scratchy fuzz of the rug beneath your feet. You look around the room. Pics of everyone on the walls. The rolling stones, heavy metal and well.. playboys on the coffee table. The staff lockers decorated for each employee. It’s comforting. A home away from home.

You put on your walkman and rest your eyes as Biff Byford sings.

Lady face the morning sun

the sunlight in your hair

Northern Lady, you’re the one

You’re so relaxed and enjoying the music that you don’t hear the door open. Eddie walks in and sits down a box of damages. He looks at you, enjoying seeing you so relaxed. He walks over and watched you for a bit. The rise and fall of your chest, the way your lashes kiss your skin. He gently nudged your knee with his and you open your eyes, smiling and removing your headphones.

“Hey, everything okay?”

He looks at the tape and gasps dramatically, clutching his chest like someone stabbed him.

“Listening to Saxon without me, sweetheart? I thought you cared about me.” He flops onto the sofa and falls out dramatically over your lap, failing to hide his grin you start to laugh.

“So dramatic!” You try to shove him off but he won’t go.

“I think i’m dying, sweetheart. Tell the others I love them.”

You frown a bit. “No love for me?”

He thinks for a bit rubbing his chin and you giggle and flip him off at the hesitation.

“Screw you.” You grin and shove him and stand, causing his mop of hair to flop onto the sofa with the rest of his body. He’s grateful of the angle he fell at, moving his hair from his eyes to see the sight of you bending over and digging through the box of damages. The way they shape your ass does plenty for him. He’s suddenly a huge fan of true religion.

“Someone stole a Wham cd?” You giggle and shake the empty cd case.

“That’s not even the worst part. Dig deeper and you’ll see that someone actually stole not one, not two, but three Cyndi Laupner tapes.” He stands and walks over to stand next to you.

“Wow. And they think we’re the criminals for listening to a little metal.”

Chrissy’s voice comes through the intercom. “Help needed in aisle 8.”

They always call for you or Eddie to attend to the metal section since you’re the only two who actually knows what a customer means when they ask about Metallica tapes with and without Dave Mustaine.

“I got this one sweetheart. You take this break, okay?”

You nod. “Thanks Eddie, I owe you.”

“No worries.” He grins and walks out.

As you look through the tapes you see one that warms your heart. A beatles tape with a red sticker on it, a pentagram drawn on the sticker.

When Eddie leaves stickers on different tapes, he wants you to hold them for him. And you know exactly why he chose the beatles tape. His mother loved their music. Eddie told you about how she would sing to him and let him dance on her toes. Elizabeth Munson was an angel, and she birthed the most sweetest boy who marks tapes now in her own remembrance.

It makes you think of your parents. How nice things were before your mother started cheating on your father with her coworkers. You remember how she’d tell you to play outside. “Go ride your bike!” That’s what you got told most summers while she’d have company over, only to come back later to hear your father angry and yelling about her infidelity.

“Is this what you want for our daughter?!”

“She wasn’t here!”

“And who was she with? She’s eight years old, she’s not blind!”

“Well i’m tired of your shit!”

“What shit?! My consistent work of two jobs to keep my family out of the street?!”

“You never make love to me anymore!”

For hours, they’d argue. Screaming and fussing. Glass breaking, cursing, your mother threatening to take you from your father, claiming youre both better off without him. When nights got really bad, you snuck out and stayed at Eddie’s.

He’d given you his bed and when you begged him not to leave, you swore you saw him tear up. Eddie never cries in front of anyone, but that night he knew you needed someone. Needed him. And as his mother’s tapes helped him when times were rough, it helped you too.

But all of these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

The beatles would sing and Eddie would rub your back as you cried, crying until your body goes slump and you fall asleep. You always swore to take care of each other, and even now looking at the tape, you remember it all and it somehow feels bittersweet. You showed each other what love is

~~~~~~

“Mm… marry Patrick Swayze, kiss George Michael, kill Nikki Sixx.”

You gasp at Chrissy’s obnoxious opinion.

“Are you kidding me? You’d kill Nikki Sixx?” You help her dust off the record player and move to the register together to count the cash from the day’s end.

“Well Patrick’s so hot,” she smiles. “And besises I can’t kill George Michael he’s like the heart of pop, next to Michael Jackson anyways.”

“You blow my mind.” You shake your head and she looks at the guys upstairs, cleaning out the listening booths. And you both zero in on Eddie with his walkman headset on.

“What do you think he’s listening to?” She looks at you.

Eddie’s not headbanging or dancing, which he would usually do if he were listening to metal, which means he isn’t. You have a hunch it’s the beatles tape, but that’s personal. Something Eddie confided in you about. So you shrug.

“Maybe some Journey? Or a Billy Idol tape. I did see him bring one up here earlier.”

She grins, tilting her head as she watches Eddie. “Journey, huh? That doesn’t seem very Eddie.”

You chuckle. “You’d be surprised. He’s got layers, like an onion.. or I guess those burgers he likes so much from Lucky’s. There’s always something unexpected hiding in that mane.”

She snorts at the metaphor and leans against the counter, her gaze drifting back to Eddie. “I wanna ask but then again I don’t. Feels like peeking into his diary.”

“Yeah,” you agree, lowering your voice as if Eddie might hear you. “He’s always so private about his walkman but just blasts his music in his van, it’s so silly.”

She studies you for a second, a slow smile forming across her face. “You know him better than anyone.”

You shrug, pretending not to care as much. You tske much pride in knowing so much about Eddie, but you shove those feelings down to avoid Chrissy causing a scene. “Yeah I guess. We’ve been through a lot together so I can’t help but look out for him.”

“Sure.” She says simply, smirking a bit as she starts to count change from the register. You want to ask her what’s so funny or to knock it off, same as you told Robin earlier.

Before you can respond, Eddie pulls off the headphones and looks down at you both. “What’re you whispering about down there?” he calls, his voice teasing but curious. He removes his headphones and ruffles his hair, not wanting to have a dent.

You smirk and call back, “Your deep, dark secrets. Hope you’re not listening to Careless Whisper up there.”

Eddie flips you off with a grin, and you catch the faintest hint of pink on his cheeks. His smile grows when you and Chrissy flip him off in return.

“I bet you’d love that princess.”

Steve comes up to the register. “Booths are all clean. Did the back room, I think we’re ready for closing.”

“Okay. I um.. I have to stay behind. Jim left me in charge and I’ve gotta count the cash and take it to the bank.”

“Okay.” Steve raises a brow. “You gonna be okay alone?”

“Yeah, i’m fine. It’s late and you’re opening tomorrow you should go.”

He nods and hugs you. Chrissy joins in and Eddie yells from upstairs. “Are you kidding me?!”

“Shut up.” You all say in unison. But you laugh when you hear his sneakers scruff down the stairs and the hug gets tighter as he joins in.

“Assholes. Every single one of you.”

“Dude don’t ruin it.” Steve says as he sighs.

When you all pull back Steve and Chrissy leave. You put on the same David Lee Roth cd from earlier. You start to dance around a bit, thinking you’re alone in the store. But then you hear singing and you turn around to see Eddie pretending to sing with the broom. You laugh.

“Seriously?”

“What you don’t like my moves?” Eddie shakes his hips, his chains on his jeans smacking the pole of the broom.

“Nerd.” You roll your eyes and grin taking the cash back into Jim’s office and Eddie follows.

“Look at assistant manager.” He smirks and sweeps a bit.

As you sit in the chair it does feel amazing. Eddie knows you’d love to be assistant manager here. This store is your everything. His everything.

“He didn’t say that.”

“But it feels like he will. You know you’re his favorite.” Eddie grins.

“Yeah well,” you place the cash into the cash pouch and start writing down the checks in the manager’s journal. “If he does, maybe it won’t be so different. I’d still be on the floor with you guys.

“We know.” He gives you a heart warming grin. “Maybe you wanna grab a bite? I was gonna get a pizza. Don’t have much lying around at home right now.”

You don’t answer him. You can’t. Not when your heart skips a beat, not when you place the cash pouch into the bottom left drawer and see the orange paper lying there. You lift it and read.

“Uh.. you okay?” He stops sweeping and grows concerned for you.

“It’s the store..” You shake your head and Eddie walks around the desk, taking the paper as he sees you biting your lip nervously. He gently grips your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you as he reads. You can his eyebrows sink more and more.

To Jim Hopper,

Empire Records is due to purchase for Nine Thousand Dollars by June 1, 1989. If you fail to meet the deadline, your contract of ownership will expire. I will more than happy to convert the store on behalf of the American Society of Language and Literature. A new environment for educational purposes and more family friendly activities aside from the provocative musical acts it promotes now.

Best of Luck, Larry Bassinger.

“Who the hell is Larry Bassinger?” Eddie squints as he tosses the paper onto the desk.

“I don’t know.” You look at Eddie. “But the first is just 8 days away.”

Eddie shakes his head. “Screw that, he’s full of shit. He can’t buy Empire, this is our store. It’s Jim’s store!”

“Eddie.” You shake your head and stand. “Calm down. We can’t let anyone know we saw this.. not yet.”

Eddie rakes a hand through his hair, his dark curls bouncing as he starts to pace the small office. “How the hell am I supposed to calm down? Some stranger is swooping in to take the one place in this town that doesn’t suck, and we’re just supposed to sit on this?”

You grab his arm, forcing him to stop. “We don’t know anything for sure, okay? This could be a scare tactic or… or even a mistake. But if we start running our mouths everyone else will start panicking too.“

Eddie picks up the paper from the desk again, his eyes scanning it one more time. “Eight days. We don’t have much time.”

“We’ll figure this out okay? But I need you to not lose your mind. Jim trusts us okay? We have to trust him too.”

“We can’t sit by and watch him face this alone either.”

“And we won’t.” You nod and look into Eddie’s eyes. That tinge of fear behind all of his anger. Empire’s home to all of you, and it scares him that he could be losing another important part of himself. It scares you even more, knowing this could hurt Eddie. How badly it’s hurting you. But you know that you have to be strong in the moment, so you take his hand.

“But tonight you rest. Let’s go eat like you said and we will figure this out tomorrow. Okay?”

He nods and relaxes, lacing his fingers with yours. You put the paper back in the drawer and you both close the store, driving off to get dinner. It’s a quiet ride. You can’t help but think about Empire. How your own paradise, your own home, could be going away for good.

It lingers in your mind while you’re eating, when Eddie drops you off, when you shower, when you lie in bed. It takes you ages to fall asleep but you do, in hopes that tomorrow, you’ll be able to figure out some way to save the store.

[bugbxyjunk]

fuck i hate anxiety this is the worst

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

[the-lady-amphitrite]

worse things than 2024 have tried to kill me, and theyve all failed 👍

happy new years, everyone

[guinevereslancelot]

hopefully i'm not getting ahead of myself with the second job idea but i'm v excited abt the possibility

[born-to-lose]

I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself

[polyamorouspunk]

Hug

*Hug*

[pitsommelier]

x

[neallo]

utterly unreadable reader-insert idea occurring to me midday. begone I have shit I have got to finish well before that nonsense

[encrucijada]

does watching a video essay on midnight mass (that i have not watched) count as research for haze dogs

[uzu-hime]

So like legit how does one make friends when they are

-too adhd for normal people

-too depressed for adhd people

-poor (no money to do things or go places)

-25 on the outside, single mom for 10+ years on the inside

-so so lonely but so so afraid of adding anyone else to the "only want to hang out with me when you need free therapy" group that includes everyone I know

[catboyrightsdefender]

rancid ass day can i just go to sleep and wake up tomorrow please

[absolutelygorkedmydude]

Uh. Got a little carried away in the tags. But this is very interesting!

little joel on youtube got me wondering what the percentage is actually like. please reblog so i can get more responses and thus a more representative data pool for my demographic of "people who use tumblr in 2023"

[warlockeye]

I need to sit by the river and carve away at a block of wood.

[ichigosoju]

🍡