#i might not post one at all bc i really. don't like doing money stuff even if it is needed i just feel. so fucking guilty

[lucifer-kane]

potentially Might put out a post for little venmo headshot or something commissions bc 80% chance im going to urgent care tomorrow for my issue™ and i already know the urgent care center costs 100 dollars for new patient visit and then. whatever my prescription for an antibiotic will cost (hopefully not a lot if there's a goodrx coupon....)

[yo9urt]

mutuals i may be on the verge of becoming a gamer...

[reikunrei]

feeling incredibly averse to posting this but i'm just gonna drop my kofi link here in case anyone wants to help me get out of my increasingly shitty situation living with my parents

more info below ig

after having given my parents nearly $100k over the last four years, i'd love to be able to actually leave. my future job situation is still up in the air (i've submitted for about a dozen positions and the only one i've heard back from and interviewed for hasn't gotten back to me yet), and i haven't been able to build up any savings because, again, i was (and still am) helping my family afford rent and bills, and probably the taxes my parents are behind on, but if i think about that, i'll get too angry. no joke, i've given my family, at the bare minimum, 85% of my income over the last 4 years. the rest of it has gone toward medical stuff and, now, my car

at this point, with the combo of my mom refusing to lower her standards and my dad's seeming refusal to hunt for a new full time job, i don't see how they won't continue to bleed me dry. my dad even has a bad habit of taking money out of my old savings account that he's a joint owner on or whatever from when i got it set up when i was 16, even when i stopped actively putting money in it, so now any time it gets its automated $1 transfer from my checking account, he'll just take that $1 without consulting me. i'm not exaggerating, even if it has $1-2 in it, it'll be gone within a week

i've even put off starting on testosterone because of this. i wanted to start it like 3 years ago, but kept putting it off because of money issues and wanting to save as much as possible. i got really close to actually starting it this year, but because of how messy everything is, i put it off again bc having one more thing on my plate, especially when my parents are already weird about me being trans, was not something i wanted to deal with

not to mention, we're still currently not living under a lease in our house that we're, as far as i'm aware, still tens of thousands of dollars behind in rent on (again, my dad refuses to disclose our financial position honestly with any of us) and it's developed many, many issues bc the landlord, even before we were behind on rent, is shit and refuses to actually fix anything. and my dad loves to just ignore things unless we beg him to do something

i'd love to be on my own (in the, much more affordable, midwest) by the end of summer. i by no means want to rely on donations and i have other avenues i'm working with to make money (i still have my current full time job, but i'm going through my old belongings and selling a lot online), but i'll take any help i can get atp because i'm truly at my wits end. i'd start doing art commissions again if i could, but doing that from 2020-2022, partially on top of my full time job, absolutely wrecked my right hand and i'm still in enough pain that i can't make it a regular activity

idk how much else there is to say. there's more i could say but... i don't really wanna air all my dirty laundry here. i'm miserable in so many ways and it's just become increasingly clear that my dad expects me to constantly cover his ass. my younger brother gives money too, but he manages to go on big cross-country and overseas trips with friends, so i think i've been stuck with the burden of giving the most money. there's so many more things going on in the world rn and everyone is stretched thin so i don't expect much, or anything, but. idk. might as well throw it out there, right?

i’ve also since taken down the gfm i set up last year when we got our first eviction notice bc, while we still need the money, i don’t feel right keeping it up for multiple reasons, including “i don’t want to give any of that money to my family” and it feels too… serious to keep it up when i could just throw out my kofi instead

i just want to make sure i have some sort of safety net to catch me if i move before anything job-wise is finalized. i need to be able to afford a place to live for at least a month so i can job-search while physically being in the area i wanna move to, which would ultimately make it easier for me to find a job at all. i'm working on being more firm with giving less money so i can actually have the means to move and be safe and comfortable, but... that never lasts long in this house

anyway. that's it, i guess. thanks for reading

[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!

But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)

And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.

Ok now for big Project Time!!!

I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.

I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:

BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.

Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)

Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)

Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)

Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.

And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.

Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)

Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation

the ability to request topics for videos

Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)

This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.

Discounts on commissions

A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.

All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh

Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?

If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3

[cyber-phobia]

Hello! I need help looking for a fic, this is a long ask so sorry about that! I'm really desperate to find this fic so I wanna give out as many details as I can remember.

Even if it's deleted it would help a lot of any of you at least had a name or author, as I can try and search for an archive.

Here are some warnings just in case:

// Suicide mentions, child abandonment mentions

I don't exactly remember how the fic started, but I remember that Inko is neglectful in this fic. Hisashi goes to America bc of Izuku's quirklessness, and while he and Inko stay married, as they still love each other, he just wants nothing to do with Izuku. Inko stays but after a while Hisashi starts sending her care packages, with letters he wrote over the years, plushies all that stuff.

She eventually decides to move with Hisashi, but leaves Izuku behind bc "Izuku is old enough to take care of himself" (He's like 14-16?). She pays the apartment's rent and send money for food and such but Izuku stays alone and it affects him badly.

Inko and Hisashi live very happily in America and pretend they don't have a son, but one day Hisashi loses his job and they're forced to make budget cuts, which includes Izuku. They send less and less money to the point where Izuku has to get a job, and then eventually they cut him out.

Izuku due to the very limited money was not able to afford High School and instead started working at a grocery shop, but due to his depression, he ends up losing his job due to not showing up in a week I think?

He decides that he's just tired. Its just not worth it, he will be kicked out soon, so he commits suicide in the bathtub.

That's where the first part of the story ends

If it helps someone identify the fic, then part 2 is:

After finding out Izuku is dead, Inko and Hisashi decide to go back to Japan to make the processes needed. They get Izuku cremated and buy a cheap space in an urn cemetery thing. They don't even put up a photo, just a plaque and the urn.

They go to the Bakugo's to inform them what happened, as they will be going back to America right after. Hisashi is very pissed and doesn't care for Izuku, while Inko feels a little remorse and admits she was a bad mother (She specifically tells Mitsuki "We were bad parents), but otherwise is just ready to leave too.

The Bakugo's had thought Izuku had gone to America with his mom, so they never checked on him, and are obviously pissed about what happened. Inko and Hisashi leave and Katsuki is very upset.

He goes to the cemetery where they put Izuku and feels sad about how barren the whole thing is. Katsuki brings a photo to decorate it a little.

I don't remember what he does later but he shares Izuku's story somehow and it gets popular, with people leaving gifts for Izuku in his grave. It gets to the point that even All Might hears about it and in his small form, visits Izuku to pay his respects.

This part ends in a somewhat happy note talking about how Izuku's grave is filled with the hero merch he loved.

That's it as far as I'm aware. I would really really appreciate any details from this story please!! I can look for an archive myself if it's deleted, I just need a name and/or author.

Thank you so much and I'm sorry for the long post I'm just desperate.

.

[stackslip]

Just wanted to say I love your fma 2003 posts. While I do think the original story is more cohesive and stuff, I think that the stuff they did with the 03 show is really interesting and provides a lot of cool angles on the character. It's a completely different story after a certain point with its own merit, and I think that it gives a lot of development to the characters in fascinating ways. I feel like seeing it added depth to my appreciation of the story. There's juicy bits in there that I wish were in the original and I'm just glad they were explored and that I'm not the only one who loves it. :))

sorry i took so late to respond lol

i think the og IS a lot more cohesive and planned out, and more consistent in quality! it's just that i don't think it's much to write home about either. it's a very solid fun shounen and as long as you don't think too deep about its implications, it's definitely a lot better written than 90% of mainstream shounen. and i can see the appeal in that, i genuinely do. i don't think 03 is to everyone's taste, even outside of people for whom og fma is comfort food, for whom even a slight deviation feels Wrong because that's their emotional support anime or whatever. like, i'm a fucking dbz fan always and forever you know? i don't have room to say "why do people enjoy mangahood better, it's so much less mature than 03" bc i still get pumped and emo from super saiyan transformations. i do wish these fans at least would understand WHY one might have frustrations with the themes of the story and what it does with very serious subjects lol

i do think that 03 is its own story but i don't think it's its own story "from a certain point". yes the early anime follows a lot of the manga's story, albeit rearranging it differently. but i'd argue that it's different in essence from the very start. its tone it starkly different from the manga, which is and remains a Cool Mystery Action Shounen. fma 03 from its very first episode leans more into brooding and psychological horror territory, even outside of the extra gore. even the subtle changes it makes early in the story aren't just to change/"improve" or adapt the manga's story, but to set up what they do when 03 REALLY departs from the manga's storyline. ed and al's characters are, i'd argue, leagues away from their og counterparts by ep 10--the flashback and making them go through all that trauma at age 12 really sets up that 15 year old ed isn't a confident shitlord like he is in the og, but a deeply insecure and guilt ridden teenager forced to grow up too fast and hiding his insecurities behind a mask of confidence. al is still kind and polite, but also a lot more ruthless and even more dependent on his brother than the og one is--the sensory deprivation and dysmorphia from the armour is cutting him off from other humans than his brother, and a lot of his own doubts and anguish at his situation begin eating at him to the point that when barry throws out the "you're an artificial person" accusation, al's brain immediately latches onto it because he's been wondering if he's even human for years.

i do think 03 has pits and valleys in terms of quality--but honestly i'm fine with it (bar a few genuinely infuriating decisions such as the transmisogynist serial killer trope in ep 8), it's a 2000s anime that was insanely ambitious and butting against the author and funding, some episodes visibly have a shoestring budget and while it remains thematically consistent you can very clearly see moments/places where the production committe threw in "hey uhhhhhh put in more kimblee he's popular" or "we're not giving you more episodes sorry. wrap it all up in three". do i wish a more consistent version of the show existed, meticulously planned out and with all the time and money in the world they needed existed? yes. would that version have been perfect? not necessarily tbh!

but really, 03 has a number of strong decisions and genuinely genius twists on the og that make it very hard for me to come back to the fma manga without feeling deeply underwhelmed. i like greedling so, so much--i just don't like him enough to not feel really bitter about how lust is treated in the manga. i genuinely love the scene where ed swears he'll get al's body's back at the gate, 10/10 shounen scene--but also, there's the scene ed happily tells al that after digging up their mom's body it turns out the transmutation they did had nothing to do with their mom, and every time i'm like "this is so stupid and i wish they'd kept the failed transmutation homonculi". the absolute heights of fma as a manga never ever manage to hit nearly as strongly to me as 03's does, because og fma will always feel just..... lacking in ambition and in depth, where imo in some aspects fma 03 still hasn't been outdone. where can i find something like the 03's homonculi? how many narratives are there that celebrate a character like scar instead of playing the trope of the Well Meaning Extremist Who Kicks A Puppy? this is a real question btw send them to me immediately i need them.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

I get that there are reasons people may have funded Cinderella's Castle and not Tinlightenment/why Cinderella's Castle got funded quicker than Tinlightenment, but I do not think you guys saying that understand JUST HOW BIG of a difference this was.

Cinderella's Castle fund goal was $250K, Tinlightenment fund goal was $200K and they raised $220K in total.

Tinlightenment raised their goal amount just before the final day of the kickstarter campaign, their campaign lasted a month. Cinderella's Castle got funded in a little less than 30 hours.

CINDERELLA'S CASTLE RASIED MORE MONEY IN 30 HOURS THAN TINLIGHTENMENT DID AN ENTIRE FUCKING MONTH. I can not understate how insane that is!

I have noticed in the past couple years people seem to only care about Hatchetfield, and it's okay to love Hatchetfield, I absolutely love Hatchetfield, it is my favorite of all StarCanWrecked productions, I became a fan because of Hatchetfield. But I remember during the first year of covid that there was so much love for EVERYTHING starkid, tcb and shipwrecked. But then after that first year it seems people only care for Hatchetfield.

Now I'm really so excited that so many people are excited for Cinderella's Castle, that's great!! I'm glad we are giving love to more stuff. But why are we only giving all our love to Cinderella's Castle? Why couldn't we give more love to the other productions going on? Hardly anyone talks about vhs christmas carols. Nobody talks about how the grunch cribbed Christmas. "but those are holiday things" ok sure but still hardly anyone was talking about grunch when it was actually coming out. Hardly anyone has been talk the case of the Greater Gatsby as that's been coming out and fear bc of its break even less people will talk about when it returns. In the tin can bros fandom it feels like I never see love anything except spies are forever really. The entire pulp musicals fandom seems to be just like 5 people.

I am begging fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield to give love to more than just Hatchetfield. Please. You have seen how amazing all of this stuff we get to watch is. Go give it some love. Make some posts about it. I have some old fans/fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield complain about fans who have just seen Hatchetfield and if you really think that then WHERE is your love for other stuff? You don't even have to make art or fanfic, you can just reblog stuff!

I am begging fans that have only seen Hatchetfield to at least TRY to watch something outside of it, you might like a lot of stuff, you just have to start with trying to find something that sounds appealing to you. You like spooky towns? Go check out wayward guide, solve it squad and headless. You just like musicals? Well starkid and tcb have many. Maybe you like short films. Maybe you like a certain franchise starkid has parodied. It is ok if you end up just liking Hatchetfield but I do think you should give other things its a try.

I know I'm probably coming off as rude and I'm sorry. And you don't have to go a show love for or watch anything outside of Hatchetfield if you don't want to. I just wish that people would. And I am frustrated that no one seems to care about 90% of the amazing stuff that has been made.

~~~

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

status of babbit's life yeehaw

tl,dr: busy moving and a couple of other big life things that just complicate things, but well on the way to being back to normal! new fic chapters and better quality art coming soon.

tl,wr (too long, will read):

Helloooo what's up its me, Babbit. or Rabbit. or Bones. or Idiot Moron Menace Child, idk im not picky lol

i know a lot of you guys have been wondering wtf is up with my upload schedule lately and the extreme lack of even basic content and also i am extremely aware that i have not updated my fics in a few millennia and for that i am very, very sorry. this post is to answer a few questions you might have, if anyone was curious about the 'reason' instead of just the 'when.'

my family and i have had a hell of a year, y'all. like, jesus christ, i really hope things level out and calm down for a while once we're moved in to our new apartment bc god damn we are so tired. the list goes: 1. we got kicked out of the house we were renting-to-own bc we wouldn't be able to afford the new rate, so they gave us two months to find a new place to live (not long enough, it turns out) and then foreclosed to get us out. 75% of our belongings were still in the house when we had to leave. that includes all of our christmas ornaments- including the ones kept for decades, and the ones made by me and my siblings, and the fancy ones made from blown glass. 2. the first night out of the house, one of our dogs, freaked out by the strangeness of the situation, panicked and slipped her harness and ran off. that was over a year ago. we haven't seen her since. 3. my cat got very ill and became unable to eat. she passed away almost exactly a year ago. she had been 14-15, and had been my baby since i was maybe 8. 4. one of the tires on my dads car blew out. during the night, while it was parked on the curb so he could put the spare on in the morning, one of the in-tact tires was fucking stolen LMAO 5. we applied to rent at so many places and got rejected so, so many times. it costs money to apply, btw. we're talking like $200+. no, u don't get that money back. 6. i lost my job bc knowing i would have to work 8 hours at a job that stresses me out to the point of exhaustion (at a place where no one takes me seriously and would actively laugh at me when i try to express my need to step away for a minute) sometimes paralyzed me and made me sick to my stomach and made me feel unable to leave the house, and i called out one too many times. a day after my birthday, too! 7. just recently, like within the last week, my dad's car got fuckin totalled!!!!!

THE GOOD NEWS IS WE OFFICIALLY, FINALLY, AFTER A SOLID YEAR, HAVE AN APARTMENT!!!!! I'LL HAVE MY OWN ROOM AGAIN!!! THERE'S AN ENTIRE KITCHEN!!!!!!!

the 'oh god' news is we still have to move in, and replace a lot of the stuff that we just couldn't take with us when we moved out (mostly stuff like bookshelves, dining table, dressers, etc) AND get the few things we could cram into a storage center out and moved into the new place, which isn't a lot but at the same time is more than we can realistically handle on our own. and then, we have to get my mums cats (a pair of kitty sisters that we had to temporarily house with my aunt, who got tired of looking after them and let them outside to be outdoor cats a few months ago. yes, this was an extremely shitty thing to do, and we've been working hard to get them back safely) AND my gecko (who my cousin has been looking after, even tho feeding him worms freaks him out LMAO yes i plan on compensating him) moved in, as well... basically oh my god there is so much to worry about but at the same time it's nice to have to worry about it bc it means we're making progress sdkfhsjdkfhdsjfh

basically i am just so tired but so busy and also thinkin abt so much im so sorry for lack of stuff but i am so looking forward to being able to bounce back, pls stick with me, it'll be sorted out soon i think and then i'll hit y'all with some good stuff i promise!!!!!!!

anyway thank u guys i love u and appreciate u all for sticking around

[sopphiex]

The chances of this being accurate are low, but never zero, so here's my take on how the relationship between Eddie and Marisol could go:

7x05: Eddie and Marisol starting over because they don't know anything about eachother, their relationship based only on sexual interactions (which still baffles me bc what is this version of Eddie???? It's like he was unable to focus on anything else beside how pent up he was because he wasn't getting any????) and don't even get me started on her moving in and out in the span of a few days without involving Chris in any capacity. They could've showed them being unable to share stuff about their personal lives without this whole living together fiasco. What were the writers thinking coming up with this storyline? Truly the most bizarre thing to happen in season 7, next to Marisol being a nun (although if it was a plot device to kick start Eddie's journey with catholic guilt I will allow it).

7x06: I honestly don't think we will see Marisol at all. First of all, the actress hasn't posted anything from set from this time (and we all know she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to show her wedding outfit or another selfie from the trailer with her being the attention seeker that she is). Second of all, there's probably not enough screen time and she's not that important of a character to be included in this whole storyline. Eddie might mention her in passing like he did in 7x04 but I think that's it.

7x07: Now here's when things might get interesting. I want to see them break up, I really do, not only because the actress is shitty but she's basically a nobody this far into the series and I don't see how they could suddenly make us care for her. Tim saying how he didn't know what to do with her tells me enough that she's not sticking around and he's just trying to fix the mess KR left. Let's not forget Tim saying that at least one relationship (bucktommy or eddisol) will have complications. I'll bet my money the couple in question will be Eddie and Marisol. The episode being titled "Ghost of a Second Chance" (which literally means sth has a little chance of succeeding) makes me think we will see Eddie trying to get to know Marisol (but i'm begging, no more sex scenes between them, once is enough, don't do this to us again) and him coming to realization how little he truly likes about her. I would like to see him go "wait, I actually don't want to do this with her, she's not someone who i want to be with". I think it's too soon for him to see how uncomfortable relationships with women make him and why he always feels like "he has to perform" but it would be a pleasant surprise if they did actually dive into it already. I don't know what exactly could trigger him to break up with Marisol (and I think it will be Eddie who puts an end into this relationship based on the ending of the last episode) but it would be nice if we got some kind of parallel to his breakup with Ana and the "I thought it would work". Since Ryan said in one of his interviews that Eddie has enough on his plate this season, I don't think he will have any kind of feelings realization regarding Buck in 7x07, but if this storyline further explores his repression then count me in, I'm getting my snacks and my drinks and I'm seated.

(just watch this being completly wrong when E*y Gan*m posts another selfie in her 911 trailer in a few days)

[blood-injections]

Ooookay killjoy suitehearts masterpost here we go, been putting this together for a while now since everyone started posting their suitehearts stuff..

So I kinda have two versions of stories for them, i mean thats the great thing about writing and headcanons is that they can varie from story to story but anyway! this is like their main story and what I'll write if I ever get to writing a story focused on them, and varients of it will be similar with some like little changes if theyre more like background characters in something. But the two versions rn are just this main one and a slightly differing one for some other stuff in my drafts bc this main one is focused in the city bc the suitehearts are just such an underground rebel crew to me versus loud and proud killjoys in the desert, while the variation story is one where they are in the desert, or at least theyre like split between the city and desert, you'll see.

Some like basics before I get into their individual stuff, yeah they have, well mostly have their crazy looks, they're a crew of theater kids lol, not really they just have a sense of whimsy. I'll post art of each of my designs for them eventually their outfits arent as crazy because they have to like be able to fight and run and shit in them, but they stick with the colors and facepaint, because facepaint throws off facial recognition scanners so that the cameras cant track them, so they might as well have fun with it, and they turn it into part of their killjoyesque personas, the facepaint becomes them, marks them as crew and their personas kind of become characters in urban legends that everyone in the citys heard of.

ANYWAY

Dr. Benzedrine

Dr. Benzedrine? More like Mr. Medical Malpractice. Kidding. Mostly. He grew up in a wealthy family with parents that were good citizens and he always wanted to be a scientist or a doctor, to help people, and he was smart and they had money, so he was able to get into school and be just that. To learn all about science and medications and surgery and over the years he moved up the ranks, until he was one of the best surgeons in the city, and one thing about doctors, especially surgeons is that they have to be clear minded, not drugged up and foggy headed. And one thing about being good, about being a respected professional? Its like being an exterminator, you're never off the hook but the people in charge? They dont care as much about the state of your head, as long as you're loyal. So Benzedrine has benefits, and one of them is getting clean, of the decidedly mind altering stuff at least. But with clarity of mind for the first time in his life comes horrifying realization, because as a respected surgeon, he sees shit, because hes working in places that screams echo down the halls of and he can just tell that somethings wrong. He snoops and learns of re-education and of what happens to captured killjoys, interrogations and experiments and those are people and hes sickened. The more he digs the more he learns and the more he develops an intense hatred for better living and maybe he starts.. doing experiments of his own. Beause he works on a lot of respected folks, a lot of higher ups. He never botches a surgery but he starts messing with things, fucks with something while hes at the operating table, something that can't be traced back to him but that'll take the patient out in say, a couple months.

He's never disgusted by what hes doing, only finds pride in it, and maybe his hatred has twisted him but he likes himself better that way. The officials catch him snooping, though, eventually, but luckily they don't expect a thing, especially not when hes grown a master at lying. Because he's a respected doctor that has in their minds proven himself loyal, and when he bullshits his way through them finding him snooping about the lower levels of the hospital, they're nothing but happy at the fact he's grown curious about re-education, in fact they show him around, tell him all about it, their words are all propaganda and lies about how they're helping the people there, of course, but he smiles and nods along and makes comments like he agrees wholeheartedly. They say if hes interested in helping these people too, they can get him a position. He asks of he can still be the top surgeon if he takes up this position too and they say of course! As long as he doesn't overwork himself theyd be glad to have him assert himself in different fields of research.

So, he starts working with the prisoners. Because thats what they are. He sees them come in beaten up and hissing and spitting and he gets to see them grow complacent as they forget their whole lives in favor of some made up sob story and how theyll be so much happier once they're introduced back into society after their treatments. They'll only go on to be sanitation workers or office nuts at best, maybe scarecrows if they seem smart, but half of them will probably be plagued with nightmares once thyre released, broken memories trying to break through the chemical haze. They'll relapse, snap, do something drastic and they'll either be dracced or sent right back here to repeat the process all over again. Re-education isn't a complete fix, a guarantee of normalcy. It'll never be, not as long as they're just traumatizing people and praying they stay comatose long enough to get work done.

Hes there when a new batch of them come in, delinquents from the rebel underground, he learns, which flips his world upside down, theres a rebel underground? And they're apparently dangerous enough to be treated like captured killjoys. He sees these new patients come in in bonds, theres five of them captued, some silent and glaring and the others screaming until theres a needle shoved in their neck.

His new position is that of a twisted sort o psychiatrist, they gave him a whole slideshow to get ready for it. It told him to get in their heads, learn the secrets that interrogations couldnt get out and replace them with better living propaganda, until theyre nothing but smiling citizens ready to be let back into society. It's fucking brainwashing, nothing but, he fucking hates it. But they trusted him to do it and now hes here, but since he's here maybe he can help. Not brainwash these people, but help them, and if theyre really part of a rebellion, maybe if he helps them get out they'll take him with them and he can help people that probably actually need it, not just rich assholes from the center city.

Thats his plan, and it works, it takes a while to get the patients to trust him but once they do, they all get out. Sandman, Crab, and Donnie were all part of that group and its how the four meet and bond and start becoming a crew. Dr Benzedrine picks his name and quickly becomes a very valued member of the resistance because theres medics, but no professionals, let alone surgeons.

Mr. Sandman

Street kid, his parents were ritalin rats that stirred up too much trouble and got dracced when he was pretty young. He was hiding under a bed when it happened and Better Living didn't find him, but they didn't bother looking because he was a poor autistic little kid that they saw no use in. So they left him to his empty shitty little apartment in the slums. They never kicked him out, so hes luckier than most that he still had a place to sleep, but once he ran out of food he had to head to the streets, figure out how to either get food or money to survive. He learned and he grew up dealing illegal merchandise, not as low as you could stoop, but pretty low, low enough that if you're busted you could get dracced. But it kept him just afloat enough to not starve.

Illegal merchandise is stuff like outlawed music and media, cds he burned himself off the originals, cassettes, vhs. Just whatever he could get his hands on. And when he could get a signal, he'd play the stuff over the old radio equipment in his basement, making sure to scramble where the signature was coming from, because he'd definitely be dracced if they found out he was putting that stuff on air. Not like it got out of the city, bli has shit that doesn't let any signals in or out, but once in a very rare while, he'll get some faint killjoy frequencies and record whatever he can onto cassettes.

But even though he was dealing in secret and even though he didn't want to be a cog in the machine, even though he wanted to be one of those juvie halls, the rebels on the streets that you can hear hollaring at night, throwing bricks at scarecrows and running off before facial recognition gets them, he strived to get into the Better Living Academy, because it hasn't crosed his mind that he might not be stuck in battery city yet, like most people that rebel, he doesn't want to be on his streets his whole life, so he tries getting in to learn anything, even to get some shitty cubicle job, as long as it means maybe he could actually afford more than the shit slum slop he pawns for. But at he end of the day, he isn't on his pills and he knows they won't like that if they find out, and they keep turning him away anyway for his temperment, for his oddities, because he's still autistic and the bright lights and white expanse of bli spaces make his head scream and he just doesn't get half the questions they ask him and if he has his own questions, they dont explain things furthur for him.

So he gives up on that plan, whatever, at least he's still got his shit to deal out, at least he isnt drugged up like everyone else he saw in the screening rooms for the academy, all empty in the head. He can think, at least. And he has his music, he likes music.

Then he meets Horseshoe Crab, a really weird fellow who takes most of his stock for a hefty handful of carbons that'll get him along for a couple weeks, and the guys so nice he's suspicious, until their deal is interrupted by an ambush, a patrol scarecrows that must've gotten a tip about them, and Horseshoe pulls out a fucking gun, shoots the two closest ones and takes sandmans arm and has him run. At that sandmans convinced the guys not nice at all, hes just fucking crazy, but he runs away after him anyway because the guy just shot two fucking crows, he knows he'll probably live to see morning of he sticks with him. Turns out Horseshoes a juvie hall, like an actual one, not the brash gangs of kids that run around and say they are, actual juvie halls are untraceable, a solid underground, a real rebellion, well hidden from Better Livings watchful eye, its something you have to be smart enough to find and brave enough to join. And sandmans thrust right into the center of it, just a street dealer that followed a crazy guy with a gun that pulled him into a safehouse in the slums that was down a maze of dark alleys, and theres so much illegal shit inside he kind of wants to call it in just for the hefty reward he could get, but he also kind of wants to drop to his knees and worship it all. Theres books, weapons, color. And a few rough looking people that at their sudden entrance, scan them and one goes. "Dammit, Crab."

Long story short, they're members of the fucking rebellion and theres a short but terrifying debate of whether or not to shoot him, but Horseshoe defends him and it turns out the rebellion likes people that risk their lives to deal rock and roll, because he basically gets an invitation. And well, that was his real dream, the one hes had since he was a little kid, wanting to be those unapologetic rebels in the street messing with bli for shits and giggles. This is obviously more than that, but still. So he accepts, and hes thrust into the center of it all. He has to prove he can be trusted by going on so many missions or passing along packages and illegal goods, but once he's proved hes no rat hes showed the base, how to get into the rebellion underground. Its a scattered maze of random apartments that are safehouses, and then the actual underground shit, the tunnels and whole rooms and shit, the stuff from what Battery City used to be that bli just built over and forgot about.

He and Horseshoe become quick friends and he learns that crabs not just a juvie hall but a zonerunner, that he risks his life sneaking in and out of the city to deliver news and supplies to the killjoys out in the desert and vise versa. Sandman turns out to be quite useful, because hes good with computers and especially, radio equipment, since he grew up with that stuff in his basement and copying all that music and playing some over the frequencies when he could, and he fixes up their old shit and becomes the radio operator of the underground rebellion, the voice of the voiceless. He's basically the cherri cola of battery city, as in hes given the task of feeding news to the juvie halls on the streets and so he's always on the air and monolauging what is just weird poetry or random stories to any untrained ears, but while cherri colas thing is actualy just poetry, sandmans is actually speaking entirely in code that only juvie halls will be able to pick apart, because PAX AM isn't some far off station in the zones like WKIL, no, it broadcasts from inside the walls of battery city and better living could always be listening in. Did I make this his thing entirely to play into the lyric all the walls lean in to listen? Maybe.

Hes actually known as Mr Sandman now, took the codename when he became their radio operator, but the suitehearts aren't a thing yet, no, thats still a long way off. Benzedrine isn't even part of the rebellion yet. He also gets his distinct style, encuraged by the juvie halls who just like killjoys push for everyone to be an individual and fuck the citys mandates, so goth gnc bitch it is. The longer hes in the underground the more disconnected from gender he gets.

There's a raid to the underground, someone must have tipped bli off. A solid blow is dealt to the rebellion in the form of a good number of juvie halls being captured, sandman one of them. Now being some low level dealer can get you dracced, but being a real juvie hall gets you something much worse, re-education, because you have to be smart to be a rebel and have survived this long, and bli can use those smarts, as long as they tear you down to a blank slate first. Thats what re-education is, picking you apart piece by piece, drugging you up and pouring propaganda and altered history down your throat until youre a 'functioning member of society'

He's assumed dead or beyond saving from the mindfuck of re-education by the remaining rebellion, who after this bust has to move base to a different part of the city. But about six months after he was taken and the radio went silent, his voice mysteriously reappears, speaking in code about the old base, where the escaped suitehearts went back to and found abandoned as they expected it to be, but had hopes of scrounging old supplies or this, broadcasting their return.

The juvie halls find them and bring them and the radio equipment to the new base, and Mr Sandman is officially the voice of the voiceless again, now with a crew.

Eventually they get fancy tech or an antennae or something thats just strong enough to get a signal out to the zones, and theres always been a slow feed of news between the killjoys and the juvie halls via zonerunners, and the cnnectiom can still be stratchy, but now on the good days Sandman can talk directly to doctor death defying to get news out to the zones and vice versa.

Horseshoe Crab

The only sand pup of the suitehearts, grew in the zones with his dad, who was in the helium wars, but he was dusted when Crab was about eight and he went right to gravel gerties, where he stayed until he joined a group of the older kids when they left gertie to go on their own, and let him tag along even if he was the youngest of them by far. They were all crash queens and glitter brains and he put up with them for a while, but eventually drifted off on his own, and was sixteen when he forst got hired by Tommy to meet with some runners in zone one when they cane outta the walls and to help them get their supplies back to his shop. These jobs always paid well, with either his share of supplies or a handful of carbons, so he kept doing them and eventually tagged along with the runners to go in-city to the rebels there. He liked it there, oddly enough, liked meeting so many different types of rebels, because killjoys are.. killjoys. Theyre all gearheads and glitterbrains but juvie halls tend to be more serious while still having fun. They understand the risk of what they do. Killjoys are just kids with guns, they have growing up to do or things to lose before theyre level headed enoughfor Crab to feel lile he gets them.

So it becomes his thing, zonerunning, getting supplies out to Tommy's and news into the city and vise versa, he makes friends in the underground and eventually meets sandman, then gets caught with him and meets the others too. He isnt around all the time, still does runs, and takes Benzedrine in and out with him if theres someone in the zones that desperately needs a real doctor.

Donnie the Catcher

Hell of an engineer, even figures out robotics, he grew up working in a garage in the neon district, and as he got older, started helping out androids that needed repairs in secret. Its looked down upon to help androids, simce theyre not human and not seen as human, and thats what their service hubs are for, to request repairs, but he knows theres no real help there, not if they're an older model or anything other than some high ups customized pornodroid. Most droids just end up recycled in the incinerators or rusting in the streets, so he does what he can to help when they start falling apart.

He doesn't agree with bli, with how he treats these people, and when a service droid named Jenny that he's helped a handful of times invites him to the underground, because droids can be juvie halls too, theyve gotta be fukin brave to be, because where human juvie halls will be reducated or dracced, rebelling droids will just be shot for going against their programming. Donnie tells Jenny he has to stay and support his family at the garage, but if he can help out he'd be glad to as long as he can get back to the garage at the end of the day. Thats how he becomes a juvie hall. One day down the line he heads to the base and he was there for maybe a half hour when the raid happened and he was captured with the others. He was newer than sandman and crab and had never really crossed paths with them since he didnt spend a whole lot of time in the underground, so hes meeting them for the first time when theyre brought in for re-education. He was one of the ones that stayed quiet and glared, mostly worried about Jenny, that they were there and maybe caught in the raid, becaue she may be all metal but they totally kissed a couple times.

When they all escape he becomes a full time resident in the underground, knowing he can never go back to the garage a fugitive. But not seeing his family is better than the alternative of having been reducated and torn apart at the seams. Besides, once he's got the suitehearts, they're all inseparable.

That's it, once they're a crew, all their experiences and skills combined, they're a unique group for sure. Sandman and Crab already have their own looks and weird relstionships with gender, but Donnie and Benz have never put much thought into the individuality stuff, Benz a slave to Better Living his whole life and Donnie focused on working and surviving. Eventually they find their weird styles, colors theyre fond of as a fuck you to bli, and then the facepaint, it marks them as a crew and as people ready to fight for their cause. Anyway what if I said Donnie transfem she/he(and yes. rocking the beard) :3

------

As for the second version, its mostly the same, its just like.. the zones version for stories where they know they fab four. They're all younger and they're basically split between the city and the zones. Their backstories are pretty much the same except Benzedrine got out before he was even really a surgeon, hes still a damn good doctor though, and Sandman left to be a killjoy instead of sticking around the underground. Crabs still a zonerunner that gets Benz in and out to help people and when hes in the desert he bunks with sandman in his concession stand turned weird little trailer in the outskirts of zone two. And Donnies zoneborn too instead of Mrs androidfucker in the city, shes Sandman's good friend and mechanic when he gets into racing at the crash track. They're all good friends and still very much a crew, theyre based out of he zones, Benz too, theyre just still a bit spread out at times when someone in the underground needs help.

Ugh man is there anything missing idk well if there is I guess I can add it later. Okay the end 👍

[wizardsix]

so I'm wondering what the general consensus is on the companion relationships bc from what ive seen so far they're so lackluster compared to the previous games.

(putting the rest under the cut bc this got unintentionally long...)

and you know what? yeah, I will compare it to bg3, bc I vividly remember so many developers, including bioware ones, being against bg3 being the standard. maybe they meant graphically or scale wise, but it's obvious that we meant the diversity of choices and quality/depth of the companions. larian made it a point that they wanted the relationships to be complex, it wasn't about pressing all the right dialogue for approval, and that sometime you have to challenge your friend's beliefs, sometimes you have to argue w loved ones. and when it came to romance, it was especially stressed that sex wasn't the end goal like so many other games have treated romance.

so yeah, the veilguard companions are disappointing, because it is a massive step backwards from their previous complex companions. you can't be friends, you can't be rivals, and you certainly can't have any kind of deep or complex romance. you don't even have a say in recruiting these people. there's no options for any kind of player, because bioware clearly only had a very specific player in mind. no matter what you do, it forces the illusion of friendship with characters you might not even like, it forces you to be nice and supportive no matter what, stripping the player of the agency and roleplay we were promised.

and there's the part I'm the most sore about. if bioware wanted a more linear game with a more fixed protagonist, fine, but 1) da2 exists and there was still more choice there, and 2) don't fucking lie about it. bioware lied up and down about this game for ten years straight and everyone just accepted it right up to release day. we shouldn't have to accept the bare minimum, especially from a $90cad game. that's money most people don't have to spare anymore, the least you could do is be honest about what people are paying for, especially when those who will buy it are faithful dragon age fans who thought this game was going to be faithful back and finally give them answers about the world they cared so much about.

(and don't get me wrong, larian isn't perfect either and I've made a lot of posts criticising them too, but bg3s success shows that people Do appreciate depth of choice and complex companions (see astarion's success))

to me, it feels like they only included romance bc the previous games had it and they knew people wanted it, but they didn't really care for it or just ultimately had no idea Why these romances worked. I don't get any feeling of care or effort went into these relationships (minus emmrich, but especially with lucanis') and it continues to puzzle me as to why writers even bother writing stuff they don't like or care for. and I don't want to assume it's just for money, bc I want to hope people actually do care about the work they do, so im not saying that, but it definitely doesn't feel good. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I would rather have a few characters with depth in friendship/rivalry with no romance, rather than ones that clearly have depth but is never explored. it's so frustrating to see wasted potential and it's even more frustrating to have my time and money wasted.

[theshelteredbrat]

I'm so done

I don't wanna take care of myself anymore

I don't want to feel anything anymore bc anything I do for some sense of happiness ends badly, makes me feel worse (mainly due to my parents)

But I can't even fucking cry when I try. When I really need to?

But I hate feeling numb so maybe pain will work?

And of course my parents are just sooooo supportive (sarcastic voice). My mom keeps saying things that are basically calling me fat and sluggish. My parents won't let me do shit. Then they get mad at me for so many small stupid things.

They hate whenever I listen to music which is basically my only outlet.

school is fun bc I put on a mask and tell bad jokes and trip over myself to make sure everyone's happy and I'm not hated.

Whenever someone's mad or sad I feel its my fault even tho ik it's not but I feel horrible. And whenever I do share my true feelings they'll either laugh and dismiss it (which happens most of the time) or they get super concerned and I feel like I'm acting out for attention.

And idk I usually regret posting shit like this bc people are always rlly concerned but its sweet considering yall care about me a lot more than most ik irl but plz don't waste ur time over me. Im an attention seeking bitch whos not worth ur time and is js venting

Church and youth group is just great bc God don't care about me. I believe he exists bc I swear he has a grudge against me but he don't bother about me. And I feel like I'm getting preached at whenever I go. But I love the people there and can't really not go to church bc of my parents

And home is just SO MANY FUCKING CHILDREN

Like wtf I'm the oldest, then I get three siblings, which is fine, i love them they're js rlly annoying. Then they get into foster care. Then they stop. Now they're adopting someone. Now they're taking in six boys.

And ik the home is supposed to be a safe space and that's great but I feel so out of place and unwanted and useless. I literally take up a room, a drawer in the bathroom, I eat food. I shower, I use electricity, and tons of money

And I can't get a moment of peace, its literally do this, do that, and chores is good for taking responsibility but like wtf. I feed 1-8 children, get half of them dressed, help with brushing hair and teeth. Now I have to help them learn to read. Help them do their homework. Take them on a walk. Change the diaper.

Wtf this is parenting stuff I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday. My mom doesn't even have a job, she just has two kids during the day and will have to pick kids up (we all go to the same school except for one who takes the bus) and I'm yelled at all the time for being incompetent? For not finding a mess to clean up in a room I haven't been in all day?

For not doing homework when I'd helped everyone else? For not having time to get myself ready bc I have to get kids ready? For not exercising when there's literally no time? For not reading when I don't have any freedom. For saying yes, for saying no, for not having anyextracurricular, for having one?

My mom yells at me that I don't talk to my family enough or spend enough time with them. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell a joke or a cool fact or something funny that happened at school and they yelled at me to be quiet? How many times I've tried to tell them about my friends or a project at school or a new interest I've picked up to be insulted by them? They never fail to point out some flaw or traits that they don't like. How I didn't do something correctly.

Do you know how badly I've wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" in a nondissmissive way? From my family? I heard that from a teacher once in my life. Best memory ever.

I'm so fucking useless and unwanted and numb and tbh i deserve the pain and suffering of life. The mask at school and youth group may crumble and hopefully they'll dismiss me but they almost might get rlly concerned and ill js be the attention seeking bitch like I always am.

Oh God please ignore me. Don't be concerned. Don't waste your time on me. I'm js being a dumb little teen. Sorry if you read that all

[gothmessi]

EVIDENCE

you can see they both have one side of their face who has been affected, my grandpa had a stroke and only has vision in one eye, the one he can open the most, he's paralyzed in one side of the body and can't walk or do his necesites without help, that's why I'm there, I clean after him, help him take some steps, wash his hands and face, my uncle comes home sometimes to bathe him. and my grandma has eyesight problems as well, she has one side of her face that has been affected for bad meds that she took when she couldn't afford new ones, I help her walk and cook, she has to feed 3 young girls who live with them because their father left them (I won't post their faces since they are underage), so I wash their clothes and try to keep them in good shape but we can't afford some stuff, the government gifts us 8 liters of milk every month and since they are both older than 65 the government also gives them money than can barely cover electricity and running water, sometimes they get free meds, sometimes they don't, ofc we can't afford physiotherapy for any of them but they need it very badly.

yes it's true I used the donation money to that wheelchair you see folded there, it was 2,600 mxn bc we can't afford a new one, on the table you can see lotions that they need, they were also bought with the donation money. and that's where my grandma of 81 years sleeps, my grandpa sleeps in the bed because he needs more space to move and that chair you see is where I sleep there when I take care of them, you can even see my blankets, I'm always waiting for something to happen, I wake up every hour to see if they need to go to the bathroom or take water.

that´s the bathroom, as you can see we only have 3 toilet paper, some shampoo and toothpaste, that's all they have until next month. I don't want to post their kitchen cause they have so many pots but so little food, all they have is rice, beans, some cereal and tortillas.

here is my bank account, I have 9 mxn to my name and I have the movements when I retired the 2,600 mxn to buy the wheelchair, they didn't gave us a receipt because we bought it from the son of an old woman who passed away in the neighborhood. it also shows the last movement, 5 dollars I received from a donation on paypal, I have received another 40 dollars but they won't show on my account at least for another 4-5 days.

and yes I used the donation money for college, here are the receipts, I covered some information for my own safety, you can see how the amounts are the same because that was paid, I got the payment receipt on august 14th, that covers august and september. the rest of the donation money was used to buy food and bus tickets in those two months, I really appreciate everyone who donated cause you all kept me alive for more than 2 months.

and this is why I keep asking for help, because I don't want my grandpa to be sad, hungry or in pain in his last days, that´s why I can't get a job and G-d knows I want one and need one, I don't want them to die alone, I´m a very good worker, I cleaned houses, sold clothes on the street, cleaned the poop of cows, cleaned stables, washed the clothes of other people, worked in construction, I'll do anything, clean anything, just can't right now and I have to pay my college tuition. they keep sending me emails about giving me a last chance at paying, $1,840 for october and november and another $1,840 for december, also the same amount for january. so yeah I think this is about it, ofc I don't want people to think I'm a scam cause I really need the help and I feel ashamed to ask for help but I feel like I won't make it out alone. thank you for reading, might delete some pics cause I also feel ashamed of posting my grandparents, their house and my uni things but I understand if some people need to see that to believe me and donate.

[realcube]

YOU GOT: TŌRU OIKAWA

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ matchup for @s0dium

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ if you would like a matchup, read this!

'I day dream about taekwondo and in another life I swear I’d be an Olympic taekwondo champion!'

𓆩♡𓆪 ok these first few are kinda rapid fire but

𓆩♡𓆪 i think this sort of ambition , especially for a sport, would be soo attractive to oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 like he might not know much about taekwondo but he would SO listen to you rant about how you could've bet x fighter in a match or how you could've won y tournament

𓆩♡𓆪 and everytime he is like 'yes >:( so true queen... they're lucky you didn't compete bc you'd send them ALL to the unemployment office expeditiously'

𓆩♡𓆪 you feed his vb dreams and he'll feed your taekwondo dreams 💞

𓆩♡𓆪 shared manifestation

𓆩♡𓆪 although he would so be sneaky and coniving about it by signing you up for competitions without you knowing

𓆩♡𓆪 you'd just be minding your own business and he'll come up you like 'hm why aren't you training?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'training for what?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'your taekwondo contest next week.'

𓆩♡𓆪 'WHAT taekwondo contest!?!?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'the one i signed you up for. you should probably start practising. i heard the competition is pretty fierce this year.' he sips his chai and walks away.

𓆩♡𓆪 then you jump him and use your taekwondo moves to beat his ass

��‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'I’m a huge academic over achiever I always strive to be and do my best.'

𓆩♡𓆪 literally a match made for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 born over achiever , just in a different sense

𓆩♡𓆪 so much so he got a complex over a boya year or two younger than him catching up to him in talent , so he relates to the struggle

𓆩♡𓆪 i don't really remember anything ever being mentioned about how he performs academically buuuut

𓆩♡𓆪 considering how smart he is during matches, i'm sure that kinda intelligence is somewhat transferrable

𓆩♡𓆪 study dates???

𓆩♡𓆪 tbh he'd be the first to get distracted and start flirting with you

𓆩♡𓆪 meanwhile you're tryna grind

𓆩♡𓆪 though i do hc he kinda does well academically , and would be in at least some of your classes

𓆩♡𓆪 seems like a maths nerd ??

𓆩♡𓆪 one time y'all were doing hw together and thought he was being so intelligent by pointing out you didn't derive properly but then you're like??? nothing on this page is being derived?

𓆩♡𓆪 and he never commented on your work again

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Muscular tall men is where it’s at 😎'

𓆩♡𓆪 i had to think for a moment if oikawa fits into this category bc like he's defo tall ( 6 foot) but idk i remember him being a bit skinnier compared to the other characters

𓆩♡𓆪 but mans has a lil smth going onnnnn esp post time skip

𓆩♡𓆪 source one (ARRRMMS?) , source two (LEGGGSSS???????)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Fun fact abt me is that I was in a blockbuster movie one time and that is how I pay a lot of my bills, I even got a IMDb page someone made that I can’t get taken down'

𓆩♡𓆪 he will never let you live that down btw

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and you can bet your ass that he's telling everyone he is dating a famous actress and will direct them to whatever movie you were in

𓆩♡𓆪 post-time skip oikawa will even be telling the press + talk shows

𓆩♡𓆪 and he maybe didn't make the imdb page but oikawa is 100000% using an alt account to re-make it all the time and add stuff to it so the imdb ppl never delete it

𓆩♡𓆪 he's a menace unfortunately

𓆩♡𓆪 and he is defo the type to pay for all dates

𓆩♡𓆪 (like don't even make eye-contact with your wallet because he's bark at you)

𓆩♡𓆪 ('just bring your lipgloss, phone and my phone too :P' he says, everytime y'all are about to leave the house.)

𓆩♡𓆪 BUT on the off chance you pay bc it's something small like ice-cream and you were too quick , he'll ALWAYS without a single doubt make a joke to whoever is taking the money along the lines of , 'don't worry , she's a famous actress. she can afford it.' AJFEURGFEIF

𓆩♡𓆪 literally everytime and sometimes the shopkeeper will ask for your autograph because of what he says, even if they don't recognise you lol

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'ideal first date would be ice skating or a snowball fight!!'

𓆩♡𓆪 that is literally so cute and aesthetic oml

𓆩♡𓆪 so perfect for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 he probably doesn't know how to skate but i don't think it would take him much time to learn and find the ropes

𓆩♡𓆪 he won't be stumbling for long so while he is, please make the most of every moment and tease him as much as you physically can lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 if you are an expert though, like if you can do the tricks n stuff, he is going to be outwardly sooo sour about it but inwardly impressed

𓆩♡𓆪 he says 'omg stop showing off 🙄' but he thinks 'wow my gorgeous ice princess 😲🥰'

𓆩♡𓆪 will take videos of you skating and post them on social media with corny captions 😌

𓆩♡𓆪 another good thing is that oikawa is so down to take GOOD pictures and is always taking candids of you

𓆩♡𓆪 he is not the type to complain about you making him pose with you, he just makes sure to serve extra hard

𓆩♡𓆪 as for snowball fights, he is soo competitive with it but will secretly always let you win because he loves to see you happy and celebrating

𓆩♡𓆪 he plays dirty though and WILL put snow in your hood then put your hood over your head

𓆩♡𓆪 it's just in his nature unfortunately lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 also playfully mean to you sometimes

𓆩♡𓆪 you see he made a snow angel and you lay down next to it and start to make one adjacent to his so it looks like they are holding hands

𓆩♡𓆪 when he notices this he gasps in horror, "hey! don't put your snow demon beside my snow angel !!!"

𓆩♡𓆪 (but it's okay because you use your taekwondo moves to kick the head off his snowman)

𓆩♡𓆪 (his name was snowykawa... rip...)

𓆩♡𓆪 but also the sweetest bf ever (at times)

𓆩♡𓆪 tells you how beautiful you look with snowflakes in your hair

𓆩♡𓆪 makes you hot cocoa with the marshmallows arranged in a heart

𓆩♡𓆪 gives you his mittens if your hands get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 carries you back inside if your feet get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 overall just whipped for you and does a bad job at hiding it

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

for @s0dium: kinda thinking bokuto for you but i thought that might be too predictable. also the overachiever thing made me think oikawa sooo.

[candycharmss]

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷‧₊˚💕 ‧₊˚ I HAD THIS FEELING, AS I WAS FALLING ~ . . .

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷‧₊˚💕 ‧₊˚ THE SOUND 'CROSS THE BAY, WAS THE SOUND OF YOU CALLING ~ . . .

INFO UNDER THE CUT ~ !

Hey hi! My name is Dew!! I’m just a silly guy that’s just here to talk about my silly little f/os!! You know how it is!!! I know my account is empty (mainly bc i am so nervous to be entering this place again ahA...) but I promise you I’m gonna be pretty much active here, just like i was on my main! I figured maybe a side blog would be nicer, plus I can yap way more ehehe. 💕

Oh yea my main is @candycoffinss HE/she pronouns! ʚ♡ɞ Genderfluid ʚ♡ɞ Gay ʚ♡ɞ Adult

I will warn you though, this blog is VERY horror/gore themed, I love spooky stuff! So be cautious pls <3

Please no doubles D: … nothing personal I promise!!! It just kinda makes me feel not so great :( this might change we’ll see :L…

... Since I am an adult, so there might be the occasional suggestive post but I will be tagging it as #suggestive and #suggestive cw so I’d like to politely ask for minors to block it! Or anyone who’s uncomfortable, really. But I promise there won’t be a bunch! Maybe just funny memes. :P!

I have a bunch of f/os… like, a lot.. But my main focuses are these fellas!!

💫 Arthur D4venp0rt from 4rt 0f M0re! I like to say I'm his #1 bf because I'm sure almost nobody else has rlly heard of this show ehehe <33 I just started watching it and I decided he'd be a f/o of mine!!!! He's a cutie <33. The ship name is Chocolate Coins! He has a lot of money so i thought it'd make sense. :3 Aannnddd for tags... |♡|🎨 ~ YOUR SONG ! 🎨 ✎ . . . My sweetheart <3 💫 Sc0tt T1bbs from the S4w franchise! Admittedly I haven’t seen a bunch of love for him but I figured that I could provide that <3 besides, he’s such a cool guy :3 the ship name for him and my s/i or oc is Rockcandy and his tags are |♡|🎸 ~ KILLSHOT ! 🎸 ✎ . . . My rockstar <3 💫 St4nford P1nes from Gr4vity F4lls! Chat… Chat he is so kind… I’ve liked him for FOREVER and now I can be open about it!!! Yay!! The ship name is Dewford or Smarties! Can you tell I like candy themes? His tags are |♡|✋ ~ HE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE ! ✋ ✎ . . . My nerd <3

Sooo yeah! There’s some other ones, but they’re all on my carrd! Yippee!!!

What else do I put… um…

OH! Tags.. Tags!! Let's see here... AHA!

⚰️ ✎ . . . Dew's Coffin - Me talking! Just simply thinking of stuff :3

🦴 ✎ . . . Dew's Bones - Art tag!! Yay!!

🧠 ✎ . . . Dew's Brain - Thoughts!! Maybe F/O imagines!! We'll see!

🫀 ✎ . . . Dew's Heart - F/O gushing :33 ehehehehehhe

🦷 ✎ . . . Dew's Teeth - Fanart/gift tag! Of course I'm not forcing this but just in case it's needed ;P, I've somehow managed to get a bunch of fanart in general so ahA--

🪦 ✎ . . . Dew's Gravestone - Reblog game responses!

🩸 ✎ . . . Dew's Blood - Suggestive posts

👻 ✎ . . . Dew's Hauntings - Asks! Ur all my little ghosts :3

SINCE THE BOOK OF BILL HAS BECOME MORE POPULAR I FIGURED MAYBE I SHOULD SAY THIS:: DONT TALK AB IT IF YOU SHIP BILLFORD! nothing personal, I just get uncomfortable! You're still good to interact just please don't tag anything I post as billford please! <3 Proshippers don’t talk to me, you’re all stinky as hell smh >:L same with just general dni criteria. Don’t be a freak man, it’s not that hard :( Also DNI if you're like, a comshipper or if you're that kinda freak that likes abusive stuff like girlypop... no.... Also zoophiles, necrophiles, etc. I've had the displeasure of having followers of that so :/ never again, never again... youch... Also if you're anti-lgbtq, homophobic, transphobic, yadda yadda... Yeah no, not on my BLOG >:/

[heretherebedork]

All of your insights on wedding impossible feel so spot on to how I’m also consuming the drama. I haven’t gotten to the press conferences and stuff since I’m only on episode 8, but I’ve seen posts about it and even those frustrated. It just feels insane to me that anyone can think Dohan is the selfish one. I know we’re kind of beating a dead horse and preaching to the choir here but it’s just so baffling. Jihan who tried to get his brother’s fiancee not to marry Dohan so Jihan can build a mall. Jihan who tells Ajeong to her face he doesn’t like her but he’s going to seduce her and she’s not going to be able to resist bc he’s just sooooooo handsome and charming (which gave me a huge ick, how lowly does he think of this 32 year old woman that he assumes she’ll fall for someone who says he doesn’t like her??? But then she does???). Jihan who then does try to seduce HIS BROTHER’S FIANCEE. Jihan who tried to stop another woman from getting married by saying he should’ve hit on her instead (I also feel bad for CEO Chaewon in this show). Jihan who then strings Chaewon along to get things he wants (like breaking up his brother’s marriage that he thinks is real). Jihan who takes zero time to worry about Dohan after he’s outed by a crazy ex before immediately getting angry at Dohan and then again telling Ajeong not to marry him. Jihan who did all of this because he wants money. He’s the selfless one? Why, because he held an umbrella?

The writers are resting on the assumption that viewers will just ignore how awful Jihan is because he’s the male lead and is supposed to be the ideal man we all fall for, so they aren’t putting in any work to actually make him sympathetic. The worst part is it’s apparently working for the vast majority of viewers. You’re also so right that the show keeps telling us Jihan and Dohan are supposed to be close, but doing absolutely nothing to show us that. They might as well be strangers sharing a lease at this point. I had never watched a (het) romance kdrama before this (I always stuck with mystery and thrillers which korea does quite well imo), and I’m not sure I ever will watch one again if this is considered good. Also do we ever find out wtf happened to the ex? It’s been a couple episodes since we saw him all beat up but there’s no indication of what happened. Did they really use a gay bashing to create an evil ex boyfriend who could out Dohan to Jihan and stalk Ajeong for a bit and nothing more?

The ex was so underutilized and basically amounted to nothing except him forcibly outing Do Han to Ji Han to make the plot move. That's really all he does. Well, maybe he does more in the finale. I haven't watched yet. I'm working up to it.

But, yeah. This is my dead horse to beat.

Ji Han was the single most selfish character in the show and anyone who tries to claim otherwise is trying to sell you something.

Or trying to salvage a romance that ended up just generally unpleasant to me because, seriously? The entire romance started with him trying to steal away his supposed fiance and then ended with him getting pissed off about Do Han being gay and supposedly manipulating Ah Jeong and then was him just destroying their supposed sibling relationship.

Which I guess they don't have anymore? Or something?

The show gave us zero closure on that and I hate it so much. Because it's so stupid. Because there was no sibling relationship. None! The show refused to give us anything. Nothing but Ji Han being selfish and Do Han having to feel like the worst person ever for even remotely trying to protect himself.

Ah, but the show isn't going to show any homophobia. Why would they do that?

Instead, the show is just gonna give us nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Not even a goddamn glimpse.

No one seeing this would ever believe these brothers loved each other.