#i might have more rambles but i can't really think atm LMAO

[helluvapurf]

*deep breathes* Sooo, those last couple mins from the latest "Full Moon" ep... lets talk about that🍵🍵

Welp, here it is folks... the ep that finally gave us that hyped up "Asmodeon crystal" exchange teased at in the S2 Pt. 2 trailer. And... hooooo boi, I have formed so. many. thoughts. upon rewatching that scene a few times. Some that are... kiiiinda on the rant-y spectrum the more I lingered on 'em, so how bout I share them here lmao

Fair warning in advance, this maaaaay not be particularly "nice" to Stolas in these rambling thoughts, so if anyone out there's a big Stolas(+itz) fan... yall might wanna skip reading ahead- lol .w.;;

*claps*

Okay, so to start things off on a (semi?) positive note, the animation & lighting here is quite beautiful to look at. The glittery curtains, the shine in Blitz's eyes throughout his shifting emotions, even the shots of that one broken chandelier (which I thiiink might've been the same one him & Stolas played under as kids?) was a neat bit of symbolism ngl.

Props to Brandon Rogers as well for his voice-performance on Blitz here cause... gawd did it hit me in the heart how much hurt you feel from his yelling ;-;💔

Curious to see more of the use of Blitz's new Asmodeon crystal in future adventures (esp from that one shot in the trailer w/ him using the portal effects against the DHORK crew), it looks cool~ ✨👍

....ummmm, ok I think that about covers my positives atm. Onto the problems I have with this exchange:

Stolas... okay, you were this close to actually doing a good job ending the Full Moon deal. Admitting to how "wrong" the transaction part of their dynamic was, allowing Blitz more "freedom" via-the crystal (that could also help avoid any legal issues that the Grimoire gave), even wishing him good luck with his I.M.P. business as the night drew to a close... ...buuuuut then Stolas just had to muddle everything up by his whole "even tho you don't have to be with me, I want you with me if you want it~🥺" ...which honestly came off selfish to me than anything else?? Like, dude... if you really ARE regretful of how long you let this deal go for, and truly DO want to let Blitz go... you CAN'T throw in such sappy, lovey-dovey words on top of that?? Otherwise, how can one blame Blitz for getting as confused & flustered as he was throughout that convo... you've basically just sent even more mixed-messages in the grand scheme of things, my dude-🤦‍♀️

"I have wanted you for SO long, the fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that its always about sex..." ...Ummmmm Stolas... did you seriously forget HOW this whole deal of yall's started?? 🤨 Waaaay back in the initial-series pilot, to the first official ep, and pretty much the majority of Season 1:

As far as I checked, Blitz wasn't the one who kept making everything about sex... that. was all. YOU. 😒Heck, literally one of the first things you told Blitz upon reuniting as adults in "The Circus", was that you expected he wanted to "ravish" you-

-so like, get outta here with the whole pushing-the-perv-responsibility-bs onto Blitz... you ain't helping your case >>

Finally... like, it was already getting bad enough by the point of Blitz begging & pleading out of fear he'd lose his livelihood without the book, AND not being allowed space to breathe after getting further pushed away (and thus, more pissed off-)... but THEN on top of all this, Stolas just haaaaad to throw in this lil gem: "Blitz... I think so very highly of you. I didn't realize you think so low of me..." ...Stolas, with all due respect... stfu with that lousy, last-minute uwu-ing self-pity party crap😑Just because you TRIED to show more attentive care & concern post-"Ozzie's", outside of the typical bedroom stuff... that ain't gonna prove shit if you're not gonna be consistent with it. Where was that "high opinion" of Blitz during the two of you getting stuck in the sitcom set during "Seeing Stars", when Blitz was having that panic attack performing live, where all you ended up doing was... just hitting on him/praising his bedroom skills again?? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Like... couldn't you have just, I dunno... TRY to actually cheer him up/comfort him like an actual friend, would? Encourage him on his jokes, "just be yourself", promising another way out of there on his own merit... literally, anything could've worked fine and it wouldn't have come off so skeezy imho >>;;

...*sighs* so, yeah... thats basically what I had to get off my chest regarding the ending of "Full Moon". Honestly, had the writers actually committed to Stolas cutting off Blitz (even if harsh), giving the crystal with no strings, then going about their separate ways afterwards, I would've been totally fine with the scene tbh. But all this... odd lowkey-blaming of Blitz thrown in, the sappy words, and Stolas not once actually-apologizing during all this (Like, literally I checked and the only utterance of "sorry" seemed to come from Blitz's end before he got kicked out... for what, I dunno- 🤷‍♀️). Sorry for the length btw, but hopefully that about covers my thoughts on the matter-

[roblogging]

just another anon sending you love <3 i hear you. it can be such a frustrating space to exist in for anybody, but particularly trans people, and it’s so rubbish that people will default to bigotry when they disagree with something as inconsequential as different hcs.

i think the space you’ve created through your presence in this fandom is something really beautiful and comforting - i always check your pages for updates bc (well honestly bc i’ve never seen a bad take from you and you have a way of putting things that is so eloquent and understanding that i find myself looking at things i might’ve dismissed (*cough* snupin) through a completely new lens, BUT ALSO—) your accounts just feel very welcoming and safe.

i resent the fact that in every fandom space there are going to be awful people (even if i understand that there will be) but i also think that while, like you said, your existence is not a protest, it’s kind of like a symbol of pride (i don’t even mean like pride month pride idk another word lmao) as in, the more people like you who are creating safe and inclusive spaces in a fandom where the original creator has done so much to erase or belittle the existence of so many groups of people, just shows that all those people deserve to exist and deserve to be happy and deserve to enjoy whatever brings them happiness. i think it’s honestly really powerful even if it might feel pointless at times. i’m so sorry people have been so horrible bc i genuinely dk a nicer person in this fandom than you and you really don’t deserve anything but the best.

some people are going to be attacked no matter what space they exist in and so i think it is important that we exist and exist loudly in spaces where the creator is obviously so against them. like—yes, obviously also with trying not to support her in any way. (can’t believe some people don’t understand that means anything officially licensed is a NO esp when there’s so many amazing unofficial small businesses out there) but anywayyyyyy this is essentially just a v long and v rambly way to say thank you for the space you’ve created and i’m sorry that people have made you feel this way. i really appreciate what you do here. also, marauders tiktok is fr becoming more and more frustrating to engage with so i wouldn’t blame you if you ended up deciding you need time away from that space.

ok anyways yeah bye love you thank you <33

p.s. i’m so excited to keep following along w your fic!!!!!!!!!!

i am going to WEEP reading through all these asks oh my god :')))

pride is the word yes !!! not here as an act of protest or as a token trans person, but because i take pride in this 🤝🏻 and i take a LOTTT from hearing that i've formed a nice lil space (again, might weep)

YUPPP marauders tiktok is,,, hell. it's probably not even that noticeable because i've still been posting but oh my god i dread opening up that app. i barely look at my comments which isn't great, i just delete the negative ones that come in which isn't fab because there's so many nice ones that i miss but UGH.

it's just so backstabby and negative and clout-chasing over there. but i have a nice bubble !! i really do, but i can't stop people from entering it :/ which sucks BUT !!!

definitely gonna take a bit of a break from there. get settled into uni, finish writing the fics i have going atm, keep spamming tumblr 🙂↕️ and then hopefully be in a better space to interact there because it IS lovely most of the time

[leslutdepointedulac]

👓for the ask game please?

Hey! Sorry this has taken me a hot minute to get to this, I had to think on it lol.

This is might get long and rambly so sorry in advance.😅 I'm in a super rambly blorbo state of mind atm and I have a lot of thoughts.

Tw: Suicide

So I often think about Louis living at Trinity Gate with Armand. Basically, why is he there in the first place? Because for some reason I always thought it said, but after fact checking I can safely say it's all in my head 😂 and here it is (the quote is canon, and it's surrounding it that helped me to apparently make up the rest lmao):

So after Louis' suicide attempt in Merrick he can't bear to be around Lestat at that present moment in time. This is because he had managed to succeed in taking his life, only for him to be brought back by Lestat, and not to mention he's now stronger and more powerful than before.

"I'm almost as strong as you are now, my blessed Maker. For better or for worse I feel that I am one of you all"

I don't believe for a minute that Louis felt genuine hatred or resentment towards Lestat for this, I just think with everything taken into consideration, he was overwhelmed and everything got to be a bit too much and Louis just couldn't cope with being around Lestat because of it.

I do think that Lestat maybe thought Louis hated him, and perhaps Louis even convinced himself of the same at one point, but I don't think it was really the case.

Despite Lestat having also attempted suicide, and so understanding the situation, his presence isn't wanted by Louis, so he turns to the only other person who he knows can help.

Armand.

Armand has also made an attempt on his life so he also knows what Louis is going through. He also loves him just as much as Lestat does, so he would be more than willing to help take care of him.

Lestat turns to Armand because he knows this and trusts him to care for Louis when he can't do it himself. Lestat's also just woken from his coma, so probably isn't in a great condition to be caring for Louis himself either.

Louis is taken to TG where he resides with Armand for the sake of his recovery, but ultimately ends up staying there even once he's well again. (He loves Armand too, okay. It's probably also a nice change of scenery and a peaceful life.)

So yeah, I could've sworn this was all canon, but I looked to make sure and it's not 😭 I've made myself sad with this but I got an answer to this ask, that's one benefit lmao.

[carmenized-onions]

HEY LOVELY!!!

Been a while since ive done one of these. Im re-reading AGAIN and forever will be. im obsessed, truly.

Through re-reading this hit SO hard.

“The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.”

LIKE WHAT? HELLO? KILL ME? Your writing is phenomenal. i cannot fathom how you do this EVERY CHAPTER.

Anyway, im so exited to read every chapter to come. Am i in love with Tony? maybe a little (a lot). I was also wondering if you have anything planned for after you finish Chicago's finest? Another The Bear book? or maybe something else entirely? Not to rush you or anything, obviously. Im just so incredibly nosy. My deep apologies.

Just to tell you for the millionth time, im in love with you, youre writing, Tony, how you write the characters, EVERYTHING. gives me life.

me when i hear anyone coming even CLOSE to me while im reading Chicago's finest.

me planning a characters slow and painful demise when they upset Tony. (love you Carmy. not really. no, joking i do. maybe not. NO I DO I SWEAR.)

me trying to act casual when i see you've posted.

ALSO

me trying to act casual when Tony and Syd are interacting. (Dont worry, babe! by Chappell Roan? Who said that...?)

ANYWAY (for the second time) very sorry that this is just me rambling about stuff you dont want to hear.

Hope you're having an amazing day/night, lovely!!

I've stuck you in perpetual re-reading hell have I? My deepest apologies. Esp since I've been chronically re-reading in my brief basically hiatus as i write, I USE SO MANY COMMAS GUYS??? WHY WERE YOU LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH THAT??

the revisions once the series is finished is gonna go CRAZY.

Anyways, SUCH A DELIGHT to hear what silly prose of mine sticks out to you!! thank god you think i do it every chapter!! i am constantly doubting each chapter (man why do you think 15 has been so delayed? LMAO)

I adored using the other shoe as a through line throughout the Troubled Angst arc, one because it's very canon, but also because its very much a thing for me, like, when a good thing happens, cannot HELP but wonder how it's going to get fucked in the end.

which, after telling my doctor that, got reccomended the same books i reccomended carmen LMAO. love you son <3

THANK YOU FOR LOVING TONY!!! I love her dearly, I put so much of myself in her and also so much of what I see and love about my darling friends; my sweet darling dashing hero complex burden carrying the guy overconfident yet under confident tony. My sweet babe. the people love you!!

As for when I finish Chicago's Kindest (PUNCH BUGGY ACAB!! FUCK THE FINEST!!), I'll probably certainly absolutely take a break from writing for The Bear for a bit (though I'll definitely be around to answer asks!! duh!!). But once I return, I am hoping to...

If you send in little blurb requests for Chicago's Kindest, I'll do em!! I know esp with like Mikey/Chip there's a lot of bits that have been spoken about but never actually written out and lived. So like. If you got requests, send em in, I might write em.

I promised a SquidInk spinoff and bitch you're getting one!! There's two different ideas I've got twirling around for them at the moment, they might combine into one one off, or two separate things, who's to say!

More and More I cannot see RiChip as anything more than a platonic duo, but like, maybe I'll try to write something about them? I do adore those two. I just cant see em doin a kiss. that's just bad for my brain.

And I have no hard plans atm, but like, I'd like to write something for RIchie in general at some point. What about and what of? Idk. Certainly not a series this long. that's for fucking sure.

I don't think I can ever write for Carmen though again LMAOOO, it's only Tony for me atp. Like I can't pair him with a new reader, I'll fucking freak out. It's Chip or Die, y'know?

And while I have an epilogue planned, once Season 4 comes out, if there's something interesting that I feel like I wanna throw my hat in on, I'll come back for a Chicago's Kindest Season 2, so to speak. But no promises. They will probably give me nothing to work with, with how our stories diverge. who's to say.

anyways! not nosy!! sorry for talking about it for so fucking long!!!

i'm so glad I write the characters well, please note that it's cause I'm always freaking out about it. I am re-writing bits of lines all the time to make sure it suits their voices and decisions ,and even still i have changes i wanna make looking back LMAO

DONT CRASH OUT WHEN READING CHICAGO'S KINDEST LMAOSOD where is everyone typically when reading CK?? I'm usually on the subway editing my google doc lmao

and listen, every time i re-read Just Dropped i'm like damn. why did i not go with the punching route. should've cold clocked his ass. (love you carmy but JESUS CHRIST I WROTE ALL THAT??? WHAT WAS I GOING THROUGH MY WORD???)

THE LAST PHOTO ALSO?? i know that's a classic promo image but what the FUCK IS RICHIE DOING IN THE BACK? WHY ARE YOU SITTING LIKE THAT??? SIT UP BIG MAN WHAT THE HELL WE RUN A BUSINESS GIRL

Always rant and ramble to me!! Love to wake up to spam in my inbox. even if it takes me ten years to answer (sorry to everyone still trapped in my inbox, i love you babies)

all of you are really gonna hoot and holler when you see the squidink playlist, truly, it's so gay and sad. i love those idiots. when do i get to make them kiss. is it now? i hope it's now.

anyways i am SO LATE TO GO TO BED I'VE GOTTA GO BABIES BUT THANK YOU FOR CHATTIN WITH ME SORRY FOR TALKING FOR TOO LONG <3 HOPE I GET YOU YOUR NEXT CHAPTER SOON BABY I'M SORRY FOR THE FORCED HIATUS

[myopicry]

I've already sent you an ask (more like a ramble on aesthetics and its relation to women) around a week ago, you're probably inactive atm (which isnt a bad thing btw!) but i'm gonna send another thing in (something unrelated to my last ramble lol).

now that i've spent time both in radfem/"terf" spaces and trans positive/inclusive(?) ones, i've noticed how scared the latter are of being even *slightly* associated to the former. it's oddly funny and kind of silly when you think about it. ppl have talked about this before but i'm referring to stuff like "op is a terf" and "terfs dni". the latter has been especially poignant to me recently for some reason: a trend ive seen is that ppl often write that in their bio after having created a post which some radfems or GCs reblogged/engaged with and they've used the classic "so terfs have come across this and i just wanted to let it be know that i dont like you guys" (altho worded much less kindly). it's like they're *terrified* of being perceived by ppl who share their views as even just somewhat affiliated to the "other" in any way, shape or form. or they're terrified of the other following them and interacting with their content. it feels very defensive and overly "loud" to me, idk?... the "op is a terf" has been talked about a lot in the radfem/GC spaces, so this might be a shorter section (update: it's not, lmao), but as that one post said: "it's a thought terminating cycle". I think that's one of the reasons i haven't checked out what the hell these "terfs" were actually saying and arguing (apart from screenshots of JKR tweets) for so long. it rlly proved to me how engaging with media from other "sides" is crucuial, even if you probably wont agree most of the time. if anything, i think i just wanted to be a good ally: i love debating and i wanted to know how to respond to "terf rhetoric" better. i remember feeling surprised by what i saw, not feeling the immediate "this is illogical and bad" feeling, and having trouble arguing against certain points. i couldn't even find good counter arguments from other ppl. and then there was a domino effect (altho i havent adopted all radfem and GC POVs and dont consider myself as a radfem or rad leaning/GC). even some trans friends of mine were surprised when i reported my findings to them. i'll stop here even though i can talk about this for much longer, but those "terfs/radfems dni" bios rlly stick out to me now and made me think lol. hope to see you back soon! ~🪼

hi hi! apologies for the delay! I did in fact spend some personal time offline, it was quite nice and it is probably a much healthier thing than spending most of my day on tumblr lmao but I can't deny I did miss speaking openly about my opinions on things, especially certain observations that I absolutely would not be able to discuss with my irls unless I wanted to sit them down for a multi-hour lecture just to make sure I wasn't misunderstood ^_^|||

anyway I just saw both your asks (eloquently written as ever!) and will respond to this first just because I saw it first lmao. not much to add other than maybe rambling myself about some of my own similar experiences and what not. you've put it into words great though! there is almost this "mystical" denouncement of terfs/radfems/gender criticals who are mislabled as just radfems etc. within trans spaces, and as I've looked more and more into "terf" ideology this kind of hatred really does go back far, to a point where it's basically impossible to even mention radical feminism or gender critical feminism without immediate hostility. like a sort of legend or custom, being wary/outwardly hateful of the demonic terf. maybe this is why when I heard gender ideology being likened to a religion, the analogy really clicked with me, because on some level trans-inclusive spaces really do make terfs feel like "the devil", some root of all evil, the parallel to the "divine" that they liken themselves to. I'm fairly atheistic myself in regards to just religion in general, so understanding being gender critical as essentially "gender atheism" helped me realize how logically flawed and slightly harmful a vehement belief in trans ideology could be, just as a non-critical perspective on any religious ideology can be.

I definitely relate to the point of basically falling into the radfem rabbit hole accidentally. I don't really feel like I'm properly a radfem or especially an activist (I do just write what's on my mind and that I can't really get engagement from my pre-existing social circles lol) and I honestly got into the ideas not through radblr but imageboards and forums through my bad habit of looking for material to "invalidate" me as some kind of "doom-scrolling" practice, but instead of finding blind hatred (even in the most niche of internet corners, where the ideology does get radical indeed) I found logical, cogent arguments and reasoning for why these people were so against gender ideology. I mean, yes, there was still hatred, but there's hatred on every corner of every internet space, and it also made me realize how my belief in not committing "thought crimes" by even entertaining "terf" rhetoric was simultaneously making me blind to the genuine flaws and ickier aspects of the trans + queer community that I was just sort of ignoring with cognitive dissonance. as a woman and someone with really god awful people-pleasing habits, I was unfortunately quite good at ignoring things that made me uncomfortable in order to maintain social acceptance and a good reputation in the eyes of others, and even if I don't share every radfem or gc belief, I can't deny being exposed to them all was absolutely integral to unraveling some of that unhealthy behavior.

based on my personal experiences, it is really actually quite disheartening to see that "radfem/terf dni" thing happen so much online. you really can't expect to never challenge your own thinking. in fact, challenging your preconceived notions is the only way you can grow as a person in your personal philosophy and conception of the world. I get it though, it is probably scary to engage with the "forbidden fruit" if your whole self-proclaimed all-accepting community says that this is one thing that is absolutely intolerable and will get you kicked from this welcoming "club". I will say, having opened this proverbial pandora's box of theory, I get a bit more angry and cynical at the state of the world (how did I never notice the staggering affects of misogyny before?), and I get a bit more sad that I'll never be able to have that unquestioning community with people who are supposed to understand me. I wonder if there are more people who would honestly be able to understand the nuances in critiquing gender ideology out there, but they fear that ostracization too. if by some random chance anyone like that ever reads this exact post (lol what are the odds) I always like to remind people that a burner email and account on something like tumblr is incredibly easy to set up!

alright, lemme get to your other ask because it is really interesting and thanks again for visiting!! I genuinely missed engaging with this kinda stuff offline, and I also get tired being the one to drip feed new ideas to people in person. it's really nice to just get a nice well written insight to engage with unfiltered (well, as unfiltered as a tumblr post under a pseudonym can be lmao)

[lyteupthelyfe]

girl help why are the relic combat arts like that

theory brain not go brrr atm but i was browsing the wiki and found it interesting that all of the heroes' relic combat arts are named like...actually really concerningly???

like we have Foudroyant Strike (devastating/calamitous strike), Beast Fang (which is honestly the tamest, how ironic), Ruptured Heaven, Heaven's Fall (the Dark Creator Sword's CA, makes sense, Nemesis killed Sothis/wants to kill Byleth), Ruined Sky, Atrocity, Burning Quake, Apocalyptic Flame, Dust, Raging Storm, Fallen Star, and Eviscerate.

~ analysis below the cut besties ~ (cw mentions of death + genocide)

The only one that isn't alluding to the literal end of the world is Sublime Heaven, which afaik basically means something along the lines of a...surreal heaven--heaven, the celestial vault, supposed realm of like, perfection or whatever, is broken--shattered--with Ruptured Heaven. well, more like a seam has burst open. with the sword of the creator, its horrific origin in the murder of sothis violates what was known, the status quo of nabatean (and fodlish) society--the world, even (lmao gotta throw in that arcana link). but fusing with sothis, knowing the truth of who she is (but with her "not having acted like a goddess", is like, the most important aspect--it made sothis relatable, a fun, enjoyable, human character, who also has all this responsability, past, and trauma) allows for, even if the sky is ruptured escaping from zahras, the ultimate repair of the world (regardless of route). and like. a sublime heaven is one that...is real. its magical, insane, world-saving, but real because not only does the sword realise its true power, not only does byleth accept the sothis within then, but they...allow for all this heady, large, grand plot of the nabateans and foldan's truth (whatever that might be in each route) to become close and real to both the player and the characters. becomes, well, sublime.

anyway, beyond that, on all the other combat arts, there's no real link to the arcana (or crest) (or dragon) (fyi in the order above its tower devil world world death strength chariot wheel of fortune empress high priestess (devil) moon and sun)--they all just seem rather morbid. like it's the end of the world. and, well, for the nabateans that were murdered and warped into each weapon, it was. like to go for a rather morbid theory, it's almost like each combat art is related to the way its dragon was murdered; i.e. "goneril" was burnt alive, "dominic" was made dust, Chevalier eviscerated, at least partially (given that he relatively survived to become an Apostle) (names in brackets, the dragons weren't actually named that obv, some were probably actually named Luca, Iris, Bernhard, Gajus, Wilhelm(?), Marcelle and Simone, but that's not for this post, rather a post on rhea's trauma coping) (wait no i just had a theory. but not for this post. another one.)

ANYWAY my essential point is that through the combat arts we have a continual remembrance and recreation of the red canyon tragedy--these are like, weapons used to kill people, were made through the killing of the nabateans, ofc the combat arts are named such they are living memories of the violent, unjustified and brutal end of a world. if we were able to meet the actual nabateans in-game, and similar things to the sothis fusion moment happened, then maybe we'd get happier ones, but they can't ever be sublime because the tragedy of their re-creation is the sad remembrance of each as victims of the tragedy and nothing more.

honestly this is probably a tremendous factor in rhea's own survivor's guilt, the only people in fodlan who probably actually knew the other nabateans are rhea, flayn, seteth, indech and macuil

now i don't want to get meta but something something the 1181-1185/6 war is built on the bones of the ""war of heroes"" and something something the past no matter how distant still affects fodlan in myriad ways, some more overt than others

something something ignorance of the truth leads to the repetition of history and condemns the fate of the word to a self-fulfilling prophecy carved in bone

oops ty for listening to my rambles, 'd love to hear your thoughts, g'night!

[youn9racha]

helo my sweet! how are you lately :3 (i can't emoji because i'm on laptop but anyways) I FORGOT TO TELL YOU DJGNSKDNFS finals ended and i'm free at last (but for like a few weeks only because enrollment for the next semester is starting TT-TT)

but yeah! i got a new phone btw! i'm still using my tablet, but since i finally got a new phone, i'm planning on doing an smau sooooo 0-0

also hhhhhh since i'm free now, i might finally finish that fic i've been working on as a surprise (not a surprise anymore lmao TT-TT) for you! YEY!!! \(>w<)/

but also, the engagement on this platform really is hard ;-; i've published fics and yet i only been getting like and not much comments or tagged reblogs ;-; it's kind of discouraging to look at honestly ;-; i mean i'm thankful for the likes and all, but most of all i want to know the thoughts of the readers about the fics ;-; though i might not reply to some of them (especially since i don't know how to really form a reply sometimes ;-;) i'd actually appreciate how they'd still let me know their thoughts :( i actually thought of giving up tumblr after maybe finishing the series i'm currently working on

but hhhh yeah that's how i feel atm ;w; a bit dizzy/nauseous if we're talking health or physical-wise! since i'm going through my period ;w; but yeah, i've also been going out a bit more than before, trying to get used to travelling since i have really bad motion sickness and i heard we might have a face to face class at the start of the semester (omg i'm sorry i'm rambling again to you ;-;)

HI BESTIEEE !!!!! IM DOING GREAT !!!! ALSO CONGRATS ON FINISHING UP YOUR FINALS !!!!!! ALSO CONGRATS ON THE NEW PHONE !!!!

ik that feeling about the whole engagement thing, especially since i also had a rocky start from when i came back from my hiatus, where i had little to no engagement even after posting like three fics since my return.

it was only my recent felix fic where i started to get more engagement and traction. lino’s was a close second because i had engagement at first but then crashed literally the next day lmfao. but even so, for some reason there has been a rise of blank accounts and just liking posts without givibg their feedbacks 💔 it’s disheartening really, and it really demotivates us.

i have been thinking of leaving as well but idk i kinda like being here despite everything y’know ? but thats just me. although it’d suck to see you leave, but i won’t entirely blame you, all i can say is just think about it before you decide to leave or not.

anyway, while im hyped that you have the free time to write that “surprise” fic, please put your health first and rest when you can. you’ve been through enough health wise its only fair you rest rn. the fic can wait and im not going anywhere anytime soon, so don’t feel rushed and always take care of yourself 🫶🫶

also ramble all you want thats okay !!! im always here to listen (or in this case read lmfao)