#i might have found my new fave lining brush idk

[chimeowrical]

Nuthin’ like a post-battle drink

[meruz]

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

[whatdoyoustallfor-blog]

911 / mr. lonely - peter parker x reader

fandom: the avengers/peter parker

word count: 1335

character pairing: tom holland’s peter parker x reader

warnings: none ion think

prompt: Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out? (taken from this prompt list)

notes: i watched spider-man yesterday and i busted a fat nut bc it was everything i expected and more. the fucking rubble scene fucked me up so bad omg. tom holland has been, is and always WILL be my unproblematic fave. anyways enjoy i’ve been gone for like a week. (again, gif isn’t mine. idk whose it is. props 2 them n stuff. u guys rock) UHHHHH ALSO i wrote these all in microsoft word instead of wattpad (lmao) so everything is capitalized now???? weird. 

Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out?

-

Sleep has never been a close friend of yours.

You often lay awake at night, staring at your ceiling until sun shone through your windows, and you were forced to get out of bed and start your day. Of course, the rest of the team wasn’t aware of your sleeping habits, until one day, you collapsed during training before even getting hit.

“I’m worried about you, kid,” Tony explained, sliding you a cup of coffee. “you might be a superhero, but you need sleep just as much as the rest of the world.” You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip of the bitter drink.

“I could say the same to you,” you drawled, placing your mug on it’s coaster. “I’m not sure what exactly it is you expect me to do, Tony. Try sleeping? Trust me, I’ve tried. I just… can’t.”

“Maybe you need a cuddle buddy,” Tony joked, placing his cup in the sink and leaning against the counter. “if you’re ever down for a bit of a cuddle, you know where to find me.”

“No thanks, old man,” you grinned at his glare. “I think what I need is a drug to knock me out for 8 hours.” Due to your enhancement, there was no over-the-counter drug that could bring you the sleep you desperately needed.

Tony snorted. “A horse tranquilizer, you mean?” you felt a lot better after flipping the bird to his back.

That night, you were preparing for another sleepless 8 hours when a knock on the door made you get out of bed earlier than you expected.

“Peter?” the last person you expected at your door was Peter Parker, yet there he was, standing in his pyjamas with a pillow in his hands. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

He nodded quickly, and you caught the way his fingers tapped against his thighs nervously. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s cool,” he said easily. “Um, Mr. Stark mentioned that you’ve been having trouble sleeping?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “He did?” Peter only nodded in response. “Well, I hope you’re here with a couple of lines of ketamine, because that’s probably my only cure at this point.” You laughed when Peter’s eyes widened. “I’m kidding. Relax. Come in.” He walked in, allowing you to close the door behind him. You walked ahead of him, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. “So what’s up?”

Peter cleared his throat, and took a seat next to you, holding his pillow to his chest. “Well, I read that cuddling helps you sleep better. Wanna try it out?” Your jaw dropped, and Peter began to panic. “W-Well- Uh, I only meant- Like, you know what? I’m just gonna-.”

“Wait!” you grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving, pulling him back. “wait, uh. I think that might work, actually.” Truthfully, you had no faith in this plan and wherever Peter read this, was probably not a reliable source. But Peter was hot and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have the slightest of crushes on him.

Peter looked hopeful. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged and took his pillow from him. “wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Peter’s heart was racing as he nodded, watching you place his pillow next to yours and climb into bed. “You coming?”

“H-Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, of course,” he said, walking over to the opposite side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He turned onto his side to face you, raising an eyebrow at your stiff figure. “Is this your first time cuddling someone?” You nodded bashfully, and he grinned. “Well, come closer, first of all.”

You shuffled closer to him, swallowing thickly. “Like this?”

He covered up his laughter with a cough, reaching over to take your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked, looping an arm over your waist and tugging your body closer to his, chests pressed together. He waited for you to nod and curl your hands up on his chest before continuing. “Relax,” he said, one of his hands coming up to brush the wisps of hair away from your face. “you know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

That wasn’t your issue. You knew Peter would never hurt you; he was too gentle of a soul for that. But you weren’t kidding when you told Peter this was your first time cuddling. You didn’t know how to do this- what if you messed up? Could you mess up? You weren’t sure how these things worked.

“I know,” you said quietly, feeling yourself relax against Peter’s body. “this is just-,”

“New?” He guessed. You nodded. “Don’t worry. Cuddling comes naturally. You’ll get it.”

And eventually, you did. You weren’t sure how long the two of you were lying there, just talking, but eventually, you’d stopped, feeling yourself become less and less cognitive and sleepier. This was a new sensation to you, seeing as you were actually ready to fall asleep before 7:00am. You remember pushing your face into the crook where Peter’s shoulder and neck met, letting out a content sigh. That’s how you fell asleep, you think, with Peter’s hand splayed across your back, breathing quietly into your hair.

So of course, you woke up half on top of him, one of your legs slotted between his. Peter had an arm around your waist, holding you steady atop of him. One of your arms was crossed over his chest, your thumb pressed to his cheek. This was the most peaceful state you’d been in, in a long time.

“Holy shit, he did it!”

Peter cracked open a bleary eye to see four of the earth’s mightiest heroes peaking their head through your bedroom door, which was hardly cracked open. His eyes shot open once he realized the position the two of you were in, glancing down at your sleeping body then back up at Tony, who had his eyes narrowed and teeth gritted.

“Fuck, he’s awake.”

“Hands to yourself, Parker.”

Sorry, Mr. Stark! Peter mouthed as you somehow managed to move closer onto Peter, nose brushing his neck. He remained helpless as you breathed slowly, obviously still asleep- so he thought.

“Are you guys seriously spying on them?” Peter could detect Steve’s voice and silently thanked the heavens for his sudden appearance. “Come on, let the kids sleep. They deserve it.” As Steve escorted everyone away, and re-closed the bedroom door, Peter relaxed, squeezing you lightly and resting his cheek on top of your head. He knew there was no way he was going to get back to sleep, but he was willing to lay there and hold you until you woke up, if that’s what you needed.

“Are they gone?” you hummed, your voice still scratchy from sleep. You stretched, arching your back as you yawned. “God, that was an invasion of privacy. Sorry for this, by the way. I’m kinda all over you.”

“I don’t- I don’t mind,” Peter stuttered, suddenly very aware of all the ways your body pressed against his. “Really. I’m glad you found a way to sleep.”

You propped yourself up on your elbow, staring down at Peter with a sort of fondness you couldn’t identify. He looked really good, for someone who just woke up. His hair was a fluffy mess that stuck up instead of combed to the side, and you couldn’t deny that he suited it. And you never really cared for brown eyes until you saw them on Peter’s face.

“Thanks, Parker,” you said, leaning down to press your lips to his cheek. “I appreciate it.” You rolled out of bed, and you could feel Peter’s eyes on you as you stretched. Holding back your laughter, you made your way to your washroom. “I’ll see you around.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem! Anytime,” he stuttered, watching the bathroom door close behind you. He touched his hand to his cheek, and grinned. “anytime.”

[bluesarggent]

LOVVEGOOD’S guide to those doodle-y gifs!! 

hi hi y’all, under the cut i’ll be explaining how i make my doodle edits, examples of which can be found here. this tutorial will be based on this edit of mine. disclaimer: i’m no pro and this is my first guide, but if anything is unclear you can just message me and i’ll try to help!

step ONE ----- the basics

you first have to find your base pictures, ofc! i use pinterest as i’m completely obsessed with it and usually have a board for whatever thing i’m making an edit for (because i make like 2 new boards a day, lbr). anyway, i usually try to find pictures that have a background that’s a solid colour or one i can easily make a solid colour because i find that best to work with!

now open your pictures in photoshop, crop them to 245 x 300 px or any other dimension you might like. find yourself a good psd! i tend to pick psds that make whites a bit darker so pics with a white background don’t stay white --- otherwise it’d be hard to see the doodles. just mess about with the colouring and do your usual thing until you’re satisfied tbh. then, add your text layer and throw in any text you might like. font, size, etc is all up to you!

step TWO ----- the preparation

now that we’ve got the basics out of the way, let’s move on to the actual doodling. you’ll need the animation window to how up at the bottom, which you can do by toggling it ( window > animation ). then, make sure you have the right tab (animation frames), this you can do by clicking here, so it turns into this:

and then you want to press this lil guy three times. you can also press it more often, depending on the amount of frames you want! i usually go with three, though, but whatever floats your boat yknow! then you’ll have this:

okay coolio! now we’re going to add a few new layers! you’ll need as many as you have frames, so in this case we’ll add three. you’ll want to add these above your psd, as we don’t want our doodles to be psd’d. is that a verb? it is now. i call them doodle 1, doodle 2 and doodle 3 for convenience myself.

step THREE ----- the doodling

you’ll want to set your brush to 1px and white for this (or any other thickness or colour, depends on your taste & vision!) and make sure all your doodle layers are toggled, this so you can easily see where you’ve already drawn.

what you want to doodle is completely up to you & also depends on your picture! i’ll show you guys how you can do the tracing of your image like this gif, how you can highlight text like here and how to do simple & classical doodles like in my golden trio edit. 

      1. tracing! 

this one is very simple and one i usually always do bc it’s simple and makes it look fun & stuff. if you’re brush is all set and all your doodle are toggled, you simply select the doodle 1 layer and start tracing. 

it’ll look something like that! then go to doodle 2 and trace the next bit --- don’t make the different lines touch but leave a few px blank. then select doodle 3 and do the same. you simply continue this process until you’ve got everything traced which will mean your edit will look like this:

now make sure your frames have the right doodle layer selected. on frame 1 you want to have doodle 1 toggled, on frame 2 doodle 2, etc. set your frame delay to something between 0.2-0.5seconds and make sure the loop is set on forever and then just hit play! it should move like this:

    2. text! 

so this one is a tad trickier! what you want to do here is duplicate your base picture three times (or however many frames you want). simply choose the words you want to highlight (i picked feel, fear and anyway) and select your first doodle layer and start tracing the word. i rec a 1px brush for this! your psd will look something like this when done:

that black text on the background isnt v pretty so now we’re going to use those three duplicates we have! select one of them, turn off your psd and use your eyedropper to get the colour of the background. now simply brush over the word so it turns the colour of the background. it’ll look like this:

simply repeat this for the other words but make sure you constantly use a different one of the duplicates. basically every doodle has a corresponding base image. also make sure that each of your frames have the right doodle and base image toggled. idk how to explain this but!! i hope that makes sense? this is basically what my workspace looks like:

   3 doodles!

this is by far my fave thing to do?? doodles are just cute lbr. anyway, this one is also p simple! toggle all your doodles and start doodling the thing you want, for example a heart or a star or a lightbulb or whatevs. if you’ve got that done, go to your next doodle layer and sloppily draw the same thing on the sample place, so it ends up moving a bit. then do the same for your next and you’ll have a glorious mess like this:

i also like to just throw in some random dots because it looks cute; simply throw some dots on your doodle layers and you’re done! then make sure all your frames have selected the right layers and you’re done !!

     CONCLUSION

so i hope that helped you out? this tutorial was a mess but i hoped it cleared some stuff up! hmu if you have any q’s and byeeee.

[kalamitis]

Kos? K? Both????

I call this MeAgainstTheWorld.jpg because self inserts

Kos

Full Name: Aaliiyyah-Kosmiikka ArthuusGender and Sexuality: Demigirl, pansexualPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Black / SakroemiBirthplace and Birthdate: Giilded, Sakroem / Philadelphia, Pennsylvania || May 11thGuilty Pleasures: Vinn, organizing, sweets, Force training, practical jokes, reading for pleasure, learning about cultures, shopping at marketsPhobias: losing control of her future vision, not being able to stop the future, disappointing her friends, killing those she cares about under ordersWhat They Would Be Famous For: reorganizing the entirety of the First Order’s filing system for shiggles while working under Hux to the point that no one else can find anything when she inevitably leaves the Order, being Kylo’s Force apprentice and Hux’s Apprentice General, in general being a hardass when on duty but actually one of the sweetest people known to manWhat They Would Get Arrested For: fighting, following orders, hiding files within the system, and idk indecent exposure for fucking her boyfriend in a semi public place probablyOC You Ship Them With: VINN KIERE ahem, tho there’s some vague Roz and Kal and Rhell and Caez around somewhere if you look hard enoughOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Kylo Ren, let’s be real, oooh or HuxFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Sci Fi, Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: ”this bookish character is SO AWKWARD and ONLY GOOD FOR KNOWLEDGE until she PUTS ON A DRESS then DAMN YOU’RE A GIRL THIS WHOLE TIME OMG???”Talents and/or Powers: Kos is extremely Force Sensative. On her home planet it’s just seen as a gift from the Creator and Void Given Sight, (aka Future Vision AKA Force Vision) which makes the rings around her eyes glow purple. This especially comes out when she’s using her Force to fight with her lightsaber, in which she uses her vision tactically to see what her opponent is going to do. When it comes to the Force Kos is very precise. Where for example Kylo would close his fist and crush a boulder, Kos would move her hand in such a way that the boulder would be punctured with tons of tiny holes, and thus turned to sand. ((THINK ABOUT KUVIRA’S EARTH BENDING!)) She is also a super great negotiator and speaks, like, too many languages since she was raised as an Advisor. She could probably sell ice to a yeti during a snow storm, which is saying something.Why Someone Might Love Them: Kos is super caring and sweet to those she cares about, whether it be braiding Caez’s hair or bringing any of her friends sweets back from missions. She’s also very tactically brilliant, and likes to stay on task when it comes to missions. I guess people like her because she’s???? me? idk manWhy Someone Might Hate Them: Kos is a fucking snob, okay? Like. if she’s on duty and you’re doing something wrong, shit man you’re  getting written up. She saw you. She has to. The only person she actively doesn’t report on is Caez, and that’s because their file is on her desk so often it amuses her to read the reports and then throw them out.How They Change: Kos was in such a fucking place when I created her. Okay. She was this wide eyed girl who was off planet for the first time, thinking of going back and burying her face in a book for the rest of her life, and then she met Roz and Rhys and the crew of the Amazon with her great aunt Carryllanne, and during an Order raid accidentally used her Force (ON K!!!! BY THE WAY!!! hah throwback) and then started training with Roz. She built her own lightsaber on her great aunt’s ship, and then found out that Carryllanne was actually a member of the resistance, and a pretty important member too. Somewhere along the line she had a vision of her and Roz sparring, and then she saw herself becoming more powerful under Kylo Ren, and went to grow to her full potential in the Order. Kos in the Order was... off, when she was new. No one would talk to her, a strange alien with color changing hair from a planet in notoriously nuetral space, but then she started rising as an Apprentice General, started doing raids with Ren, and people were like “okay so who the fuck IS she?” Then she was assigned a body guard - Rux - and they hit it off as fast friends. After that it sort of snowballed, when Rux was sent off the Finalizer, she actually meet Rhell - rather than being in meetings with her all the time - and then she laid eyes on Vinn. This was the real turning point (which is stereotypical but YOU KNOW WHAT) she and Vinn had three glorious seconds of eye contact before rhell ran in and Kos left the hangar, and from then on came the slow burn that inevitably ended in KosVinn, and Kos no longer being able to act like she was Evil. Was she capable of it? Yes. Did she want to do it? No. And believing that her spot in the Order was keeping her planet in nuetral space did a lot for that. Then came Rhell’s offer to overthrow the Order from the inside, and it was set. And now we have the Kos we have now.Why You Love Them: tbh? I love Kos because she shows how people who care about you can change your entire point of view, and how it’s okay to let that happen sometimes. She’s badass and she’s knowledgeable and she does a lot, and that’s fucking great. I also love her because she’s so much more developed now than when I made her as someone to interact with my bff Rose’s OC, Roz, didn’t know anything about Star Wars, and created a whole planet and culture and species simply because I didn’t want to do any research. Good times.

K

Full Name: KH-4399, K, “Khayi”Gender and Sexuality: K is my ST8 cis character, even though she’s poly lmaoPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Black human stormtrooperBirthplace and Birthdate: Khorm / April 30thGuilty Pleasures: looks in Rux’s direction, fruit, trashy romance novels, painting, Phobias: being unable to save those she cares about, not rising in the ranks fast enough, being equated to nothing but cannon fodderWhat They Would Be Famous For: killing your faves in 20 seconds flat, training the misfits and disobedient stormtroopers for the order, being an Elite Guard, What They Would Get Arrested For: killing you for touching her things, cutting off random body parts when she’s marginally inconvenienced, killing all who come to arrest her, etc etcOC You Ship Them With: RUX AND TY, like both of them. all hail my ot3 bitchesOC Most Likely To Murder Them: uh??? Ty’s dad I guess??? good luck tho babesFavorite Movie/Book Genre: trashy romance books, Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: “I’m a badass and I’m hard as stone and nothing can crack my armor EVER! I was raised with boys so...”Talents and/or Powers: K is terrifyingly good with a blade, to the point that she always has at least two on her, though she never has them in the same place.  Not even Rux knows where they are all the time, and his hands eyes are ALWAYS on herWhy Someone Might Love Them: K is a terrifying badass who can and will step on you if you disappoint her. She has a softer side in there somewhere, but you know what? It’s pretty deep. Her Strong and Silent thing is pretty cool though. Why Someone Might Hate Them: K makes it very clear when she doesn’t like you, to the point that she will just ignore you. you don’t even appear on her radar. Good try trying to talk to her though. Oh you wanna spar? No, you don’t. You almost died when she was just holding a blunt staff. Please stop trying.How They Change: K was a really really REALLY scrappy kid going through training. As in, a lot of the other kids bullied her and ganged up on her. So she did the logical thing and got good enough to beat them. Even then it took at least five of them to beat her, then six, then seven. By then the kids started wising up. She never really cared much for rules, but she was smart enough to know better than to get caught, and that’s what mattered. As she got older, she got a bit more open as she got comfortable with her squad (D1-Q Squad: Stix, K, Ty, and Rux) until Ty fell out of the ship way back when and “died”. She was unable to help him due to a fall during the raid that shattered her spine, and felt the guilt like a crushing blow to her lungs. From then on she was cold and felt alone, even with the others around her. Her spine was replaced with a cybernetic prototype that still hurts a ton, and she kind of went quiet on the inside. It didnt’ help when Rux and Stix were reassigned. It only got better when Rux came back, because that started the chain reaction of the others noticing her, Ty coming back to life and kidnapping her, and then her going back ot the Order realizing that maybe she could be happy somewhere else. She also joins Rhell’s Rebellion because you know what. Who wouldn’t?Why You Love Them: I LOVE K BECAUSE K DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT okay. she is badass and she carries her knives around and she will fight you faster than talk to you. But she’s also able to be incredibly soft and loving to her boys. And you know what? They don’t even ask her for it, because that’s how K is. She’s hard as nails and she has her walls up, but she shows her affection in small ways, (pressing her leg against someone else’s, sitting shoulder to shoulder, brushing her hand down someone’s forearm, etc etc) and it’s beautiful. I just. I love K. okay. I love her.

[opepin]

september: week five

25: i woke up wide awake but i physically felt tired. i still went into the fitness center and did my butt workout. i was dying. i went up another 5 lb for my squats and deadlifts but i think i stayed the same at 12.5 lbs each arm for the rest of the sets. i had to switch out to 10 lbs each leg for the last set. then i stretched and showered. i woke up kevin and then made us chocolate pb banana smoothies and he made us breakfast sandwiches with egg and leftover pico. he went to work and i found out that training was pushed back a week so, i felt better. i was really stressed out about it this week x_x; i feel like we have a good amount of time to prepare now, and my mom is coming to visit me this week (super spontaneous) and i won’t have to worry now. i might wfh or take half a day off to spend it with my mom on wednesday. tomorrow we’ll have dinner with her and her friend. hehe. my mom went to new york over the weekend and she’ll be flying back to chicago from boston. i can’t wait :3 she’s the only person in my family that wants to visit me in boston, tbh. x_x;

anyway, i got to talk with phil and then planned out more prep work and then i ate lunch and hopped on stand up. the rest of the day, i did internet errands and a bit of testing for the easier tickets. i talked with mindy quite a lot because it was her day off from work. i picked out a nice jewelry tray to put my minimal amount of jewelry in top of the chest and make our bedroom look nicer. then i bookmarked some mejuri jewelry i would like to buy, the denim jacket and low chunky heel pumps from target along with the polar bear hooded blanket, and the jewelry tray by umbra. i’ll make these purchases next week so i can get that 5% back from target lol. i waited for kevin to get back home so he could open the small anniversary present i got him from greetabl :P then we chilled together for a bit and i went to the yoga studio to do another 30 minute leg / butt workout. the fitness center was packed so i got my 15 lbs and brought them over. my legs were so tight after my workout. i stretched a bit and then watched some youtube videos while kevin showered. then i noticed that our spider was gettin’ a little too big and kevin got creeped out too so he tried killing it and vacuumed up the web. he ended up vacuuming up something live...and i think the spider escaped into a hole in our courtyard door frame O_O” i put in a ticket for that...

we ate thai beef basil bowls and then the whole day i’ve felt really on and off -- super moody. i was planning to game with kevin but then after kevin said he wouldn’t help me move the suitcase and plastic bins to the storage room because he had to wash dishes, my mood was ruined. i understand he was busy but at the same time, we were supposed to move these a few days ago and my mom is coming over tomorrow and it didn’t seem like he wanted to help. so i told him i didn’t feel like gaming and went to the storage room. it was a bit of a puzzle putting these things back... kevin came up eventually and helped tetris everything back into place. then he went to game and just went to the bedroom to spend time alone. i brushed my teeth real early and then ko’d at like 11:30 pm. meh.

26: i had a dream where i pissed off kevin A LOT and it was super scary. i’ve been sleeping with my arms up for some reason... i think it’s affecting my resting heart rate a lot @_@; anyway, there was that dream and i got up at 8 am and decided to do some light hip hop cardio and then when my mom comes over, i can do stretching with her if she wants. today is a well-needed recovery day~ my legs are stiff af. then i did some internet errands and looked over phil’s spreadsheet to see if i could get the jist of what we were aiming for... i still don’t quite get it, but i’ll need to spend more time with it. the rest of the morning went to shit. the maintenance guys came in and fixed all of our tickets. apparently, i might have just put all the heavy stuff on the top and made it imbalanced? idk. i was planning to leave with kevin but he had to leave for a meeting so i felt ksjfnsjkdfs. i waited until they left and then walked over to take the train to go to the office. i probably would have stayed home and worked a bit more because i started feeling really out of it and my stomach was cramping like crazy but the internet was super slow. when i got to the train, it said 20+ minutes until the next train... it came in like 10 minutes and then i got to the office and just hopped on the all-hands and did my own thing while listening in. i felt super drained and dead by this time.

i did get work done eventually. i was in full on work mode for the rest of the afternoon and didn’t really talk to anyone -- just working helped me feel better. i did have to use the bathroom a lot more than usual and my stomach was not happy for some reason? i’m guessing it is the protein bars. idk. well, that’s probably why my stomach hurt in the morning as well. my mom messaged me to meet her and her friend in north quincy?! i called her to clarify and we planned to meet in chinatown instead. my mom’s friend thought we were working from home so getting off their bus at quincy would be easier for us to pick them up and whatnot, but we didn’t work from home today. so kevin walked over to wework (i actually gave him the wrong address at first LOL) and then i gave him a tour of the office. he was being silly the whole time. we left when my mom called me again and i met my mom’s childhood friend and got to see my mom again. lol it’s only been 3 weeks since i saw her... we decided to eat at the golden gate restaurant right behind the chinatown gate.

auntie ordered everything because none of us cared about eating anything in particular. we got veggies, delicious af lamb shank, shrimp, and steamed whole fish. i caught up with my mom and talked with auntie while kevin ate and tried listening. i surprised myself because i understood most of what auntie was saying to me in chinese. her english is pretty good too so she understood my responses, which i gave in english. of course, my mom and her had the whole ‘why doesn’t she speak chinese back to you’ discussion but i was over the moon about understanding what they were talking about -- i even translated for kevin!!! we also saw two people dine and dash .___. i’m pretty disgusted how they did it too. they just ate and left slowly and casually while the server kept yelling ‘excuse me.’ they just walked out anyway. wtf?! i hope they were caught on tape and never allowed in any restaurants again. it’s just such a dirty thing to do. it’s not like they were homeless or anything either. ugh, people like that disgust me.

anyway, we finished eating and then kevin and i waited with my mom and auntie for auntie’s daughter to pick them up. they live far north, which is the opposite of where me and kevin live. she got to us eventually and then i said goodbye to my mom and auntie. we made plans to eat dim sum back in chinatown tomorrow for lunch. my mom slept over at their place because she wanted to say hello to the family and auntie insisted that she sleep over. so then kevin and i took the train home and my stomach felt terrible. i blobbed around the apartment while kevin gamed and stuff. i showered because outside was just icky and humid and my stomach hurt and etc. i just felt dirty. after my shower, i felt a bit better. i got up and stretched for 40 minutes or so while watching an episode of ‘beat shazam.’ kevin finished gaming with the guys and we played ibb and obb together until 11:30 pm or something. i was feeling real moody but gaming with kevin made me feel better. i went to sleep at around 12:30 am. i felt good going to bed though.

27: it was an interesting day today. i got up at 8 am and then did abs in the morning. then i showered and made my fave smoothie for me and kevin. kevin didn’t get up until like 10:30 am today and i just worked until we needed to head out to meet up with my mom and her friend. my mom called me at 11 am and told me that they’d be in chinatown before 12 pm. so then i curled my hair because it was oily af and then we changed and took the train over. we got there like 15-20 minutes late because the train took forever to come and we kinda left a bit late (my mom didn’t give us enough time). it was no worries though because they got the dim sum right as we took our seats. mmm. we ate at bubor cha cha seafood and i was sad that they only had savory stuff :( their shrimp stuff was really good though. my mom and auntie had a big breakfast so they didn’t eat much. we talked and drank tea and ate. i got full pretty quickly because i had the smoothie like 2 hours beforehand. i feel like i can understand more chinese now than i did before... and i’m not sure why. i knew 90% of what my mom and her friend were talking about and i chimed in in english, which they didn’t like lol.

kevin was supposed to use his tallness to pay for the bill but auntie got there first and omg, chinese women wanting to pay the check are so vicious T_T we qq’d and then went outside and took pictures with each other. when kevin took a picture of me, my mom, and auntie, another lady asked him LOOOL. then we said goodbye to auntie and thanked her and we took my mom to our apartment! my mom thinks our apartment is really nice and spacious. she said something along the lines of ‘you must love your life here.’ i gave her a mini tour and then got some of her dates she bought in new york. then i went to work while she rested for a bit and she asked if she should wash the dishes and i told her she can make us soup with the ingredients she gave me a while back. i didn’t defrost the black chicken so she made the chinese bean curd gingko bean soup. then she surprised us by microwaving the chicken to defrost it and made that soup for us too LOL. my mom kept busy.

after getting some work in and testing some tickets -- i finally finished the spreadsheet and imported it into ux360! i’m so happy -- i took my mom to the courtyards and gave her a proper tour of the spaces here. she wechatted my dad pictures and video haha. then we went back and i did some more work while she rested. i did take a break to talk to my mom about random stuff for a bit and then at 6 pm, we drove her to the airport. i hugged her goodbye and then kevin drove us back using the op hov lanes! she messaged me when she boarded her flight and i chilled for a bit. kevin went back to working (he took a gaming break during the work day) and then i went to exercise and kevin cooked loco moco minus the egg lol. for the past few days, my stomach has been hating me. my stomach feels super acidic and i feel like crap on the inside physically and emotionally because all i can do is complain and wait for it to go away. i definitely think its the protein bars :( i’m pretty sure it is the thinkthin bars because it has a ton of sugar alcohol in it. i don’t think the whey in the oatmega bar is helping either. i’m constantly bloated or using the bathroom...

anyway, i got through my workout and then ate quickly on the sofa. kevin went for a run after eating a bit and then i did the dishes and prepared to go to work tomorrow (FINALLY a full day)! i’m a bit scared that i won’t wake up in time but i am going to make it my mission even though i feel like crap and i think i might need to be near a bathroom... after washing dishes, i did some internet errands and then got ready for tomorrow and bed.

28: i woke up sleepy~ i woke up at 7:20 am and then went to the yoga studio and did an upper body workout. then i showered and made myself a smoothie before heading out to work. i used kevin’s fitbit flyers during the work out and at work today. it was nice. i was really productive at work. i ate part of my lunch at around 12:30 pm and then at around 1 pm, i went to chatime and beard papa’s with cole. steve wanted to save money. lol both cole and steve looked hella tired though. cole was really sleepy. i got a passionfruit green tea from chatime and got a honey and butter cream puff from beard papa’s. i drank and ate these snacks in steve’s and cole’s office. lol it’s fun chilling with them every week. :) then i hopped on stand up and got back to work. i did testing the rest of the day. we found out that there were some zoo animals on the 8th floor for something promotional so we went upstairs and i got to pet a blue tongue iguana and an endangered turtle species T^T <3 there was a screeching owl too and it was so tiny and cute but we couldn’t pet it. kdnfskjdfnkjd the owl. steve, cole, and kien got some dranks and snacks and then we all went back down to work. the devs left at some time earlier than me lol.

i stayed and did some more testing and talked with dave and phil. then dave left while i was talking to phil and then i packed up and took the train home at around 5:20 pm. i chilled until 7 pm and then went to the yoga studio to do my second arm workout of the day. i felt like i needed to do a lower back exercise as well so i did a short 10 minute video for my lower back. then i came back and showered. kevin came back before i showered. it was his first time climbing in a while and he felt good. we microwaved leftovers and ate dinner while watching ‘westworld’! omg it’s so creepy and i love it. then we cuddled while kevin read fanfic or something and i fell asleep. i think he did too. he got up to wash dishes and i stayed in bed for a bit longer and then i brushed my teeth and went back to sleep after going on my phone for an hour or so. i went to sleep at like 1 am.

29: i slept in and it felt so nice to get more sleep~ kevin got up before me and then left for work. i got up and made myself a smoothie very messily and then started working. it felt like it was going to be a chill day and a good segue way into the weekend! i got to watch ‘the beguiled’ and half of ‘the big sick’ while working. i was busier the latter part of the work day and had to copy and paste a ton of things so i ended up a bit dizzy. i waited for kevin to get home and then we cuddled in celebration of the weekend!!! haha. after that, i did a hiit workout in the yoga studio and then showered. i think it was pretty late by the time we decided to eat? so instead of the rice cake soup, we made shin ramen with leftovers and watched two episodes of ‘westworld.’ it was a pretty chill day to a start of a busy weekend. i squeezed in some stretching time while watching the last half of ‘the big sick’ and then went to sleep. the movies were alright. i still have a bunch of things to watch though so hopefully, one of them will be really good!

30: i decided to workout in the evening today and took my time getting ready to go apple picking! i think we slept in a bit and then took our time eating breakfast because it was raining... we checked the weather for harvard, ma and it wasn’t raining much over there so we decided to still go. we loaded up on gas and then drove an hour out. we stopped so kevin could use the washroom and get mcdonald’s lol. is it me or the fries a bit harder than usual? they used to be slightly crispy and soft but now they taste more like in-n-out fries, which i’m not a fan of. :/ well, we got to the apple orchard and then i stopped singing horribly to kevin haha. we listened to my time capsule playlist on spotify. there weren’t many people here today and it was a bit chilly. we got our bag and then hopped on the wagon to get driven to the apple picking area. omg, there was free cider tastings and all the trees had a TON OF APPLES ON THEM. it was the quickest and easiest apple picking experience i’ve ever had. we got a small bag and ended up getting another one so we could pick all of the varieties. the man there was helpful in describing the apples and what we could use them for. he explained the history of the northern spy apple and this orchard -- the carlson orchard -- is one of the few places that grow them!

we got honeycrisp, empire, mcintosh, macoun, northern spy, and cortland apples. all the trees were full and ripe with beautifully grown apples. we took the hayride back and then purchased more apple-related items. we got raw honey, super cider (cider made with the skins of apples and the nutrients), an apple crisp with reddi whip (sooo delicious), half a dozen apple cider doughnuts, and some hard cider. we spent a lot of $$ there ahah. after our very successful apple picking adventure -- we literally fake evil laughed in the orchard with our two bags full of apples -- we drove home and then relaxed a bit. kevin got too into gaming so after we meal planned, we decided not to go grocery shopping because it was pretty late. i did laundry and cleaned the bathroom while kevin cooked. then we ate dinner while watching westworld and we were about to go work out but then i decided not to because it was already too late. kevin ate before he went for his run and i spent the rest of the night folding clothes and making the bed. i went to sleep at like 2 am or something. lol goodbye good sleeping schedule.

oct01: i got up at 9:30 am and then did a hiit workout that killed me. i think my cardio has gone down dramatically D: then i showered and woke up kevin. we kinda took our time to leave the house to eat some food. then we hopped on the train to get to the aquarium / dock. we raced over there too and made it a few minutes before leaving the dock at 12 pm for whale watching! the boat was packed. we got crappy tourist food on the boat: nachos, super pretzel (hardest pretzel ever), and hot dogs because our breakfast wasn’t filling. we ate and then went outside to experience the super fast speed the boat was going and the cold breeze. after a while, kevin and i felt really bad. we were dizzy and stuff and tried resting our eyes while sitting down. kevin went outside because it made him feel better. we kinda fell asleep while on our way to the whales because it took an hour. when we got there, kevin went outside straight away and i felt super dizzy and nauseous. i stayed in my seat.

a few minutes later, i see kevin running to the boat to the bathroom -- he threw up. i saw him come out and at this point, i felt pretty queasy too. i actually saw a good amount of people throwing up in barf bags and over the boat railing...LOL... well, i went to the bathroom after kevin and i tried to throw up but i peed instead LOL. i came back out to meet with kevin and right when i saw him, i wanted to hurl LOOOOL. i went back to the bathroom and threw up. TMI WARNING: i noticed that i didn’t properly chew up my hot dog and there was a good 1/4th chunk of it. TMI END! anyway, we spent the rest of the “cruise” with our heads down on a table. kevin kept throwing up though... like he threw up about 5 times. o__o he threw up 3 times in barf bags. we got cold and found seats and just closed our eyes while we waited for us to get back on land. oh, we did see whales. there was also a sun fish i couldn’t bring myself up to see :( but there were a lot. we saw a few and qq’d immediately. when we finally got back on land, we felt so much better. well, kinda. kevin wanted mcdonald’s... so we got some before getting on the train.

kevin got home and played games while i just chilled and walked around appreciating the ground x__x; then we went grocery shopping. we only went to roche bros and bj’s. we got home and then i did a strength workout in the yoga studio while kevin showered so he could feel better. i came back and then i showered and then kevin vacuumed and i swiffered. we ate rice cake soup for dinner again while watching westworld. then kevin called his parents and i watched some youtube videos. i did that thing again where i run to bed and snuggle in thinking i won’t fall asleep but i do and then i have to get up and brush my teeth and etc. kevin cooked lunch for us after and then played a few games of heroes of the storm. i went to sleep at like 12:30 am, forreal. kevin and i keep laughing at our experience we had today. we paid like $100 to just feel nauseous and throw up for 4 hours. yes, whale watching takes 3-4 hours... everyone is warned!!! take motion sickness pills before going whale watching if you’re thinking about it. :P