#i might even be able to walk with just 1 crutch from now on!

[zeloinator]

Second hip surgery done! Now to just heal up and hopefully I will not have to mess with my hips ever again or if so I hope its a long time from now xD

[donationwayne]

here's my confession (I'm kind of hooked on you)

Pairing: Buddie || 6.5k/109k || Chapter 1/19 ||

Hello, I participated in @118bigbang !! This is the first chapter (I'll be dropping the rest through the month). I'm so excited to finally be sharing this fic with everyone, I've worked so hard!!! Lots of moral support from my friends in the Buddie Enablers Anonymous discord <3

This is also lovingly entitled: DILF EDDIE

Summary:

Buck is forced to go on a temporary medical leave after getting crushed by a flight of stairs. In the meantime, he works at dispatch while he recovers. One evening after work, Buck hooks up with a mysterious, hot, family oriented DILF. The following morning he’s mortified and a little love sick after discovering said hook-up aka Eddie Diaz is the newest (temporary) firefighter liaison--poached from a house in El Paso, Texas. Buck navigates becoming best friends and eventually work partners with his ex-hookup. In the meantime, he desperately tries not to fall in love. He fails.

Cue: An adorable five year old, prank wars, gay offs, break room gossip, a fake dating plot, firefighting shenanigans, a packed summer of PTA responsibilities, karaoke, and copious amounts of cupcakes and thai food

OR

tldr: the hot dilf from the bar is my new work partner ______

SNIP:

“Bobby invited us for lunch. Athena’s getting me out of the apartment and making me walk around like a dog who needs to get its energy out.” Buck explains earning a huff of amusement from Athena. Hen smacks him lightly for his mock petulant tone.

Without being asked, Hen loops her arm around his waist and helps him tackle the stairs. Buck lets out a slow breath, seeing firsthand that absolutely nothing has changed during his month and a half away from the team soothes him. Bobby is in the kitchen with Chimney who is pestering him incessantly. The sight makes his chest ache because he never wants to lose these people. They felt more like family than his own ever had growing up. In such a short amount of time they’d come to know each other so deeply, they've already been through so much—especially after Chimney had his incident with the wreck and the rebar. He was barely back from his own medical leave before Buck had his own incident.

Although Bobby nagged him for weeks, Buck opted for a tiny graduation celebration. At the time, he hadn’t known how to explain to Bobby that there was no one outside of his tiny circle of friends to invite. Now Athena knows though, and he needs to make a mental note to ask if she could keep their conversation between the two of them. He doesn’t want to change the way his friends see him, and he doesn't want pity. He’s worried this new information might be a little too on the nose.

“What’s new with you, Buckley?” Chimney calls across the room, smiling and waving. “How you healing up?” Buck slides into a seat at the dining table, and Bobby, Chim, and Hen turn their full attention onto him.

“I’m healing alright. They’ve still got me on track for a return after six months. I’ll be able to walk without the crutch before too long, my ribs should be healed in a couple of weeks. Then I’ll just have PT to contend with, because of the leg strain and the fracture, my trainer says it might be tenuous, so I have that to look forward to at least.”

“It’ll be here in no time,” Chimney promised. “You just need to get a hobby. You’re lacking in those. Maybe I could make you a list of movies, you’re tragically behind on pop culture.”

“Actually, I've accepted a temporary position at dispatch,” Buck admits. Bobby beams, and Buck barely restrains a groan.

“Yes, I finally caved.” Buck tells him, although he didn’t ask. “Athena took me to visit today.”

___ Reblogs to boost appreciated :)

[xjulixred45x]

Suguru Geto x Disabled! Reader

Sinopsis: Geto's S/o is a Disabled Non-Sorcerer

Reader: Neutral/Female

Genre: Headcanons

Warnings:small divergence from Canon at the end, friends to lovers, soft Geto, Reader is DISABLED (Which type of disability will not be specified, but it is one that makes mobility difficult, which could be using crutches, lack of limbs, wheelchair, etc. I will try to be vague about it, to cover as much as possible), Reader gets to receive BULLYING (NOT FROM GETO! Japanese society is considered very inclusive and everything, but people with disabilities don't have a very good time), some Soft yandere Geto? More like how he would act if something like that really happens in canon, Angst with Fluff. LONG POST

okay, I figured that you and Geto could probably be either 1- neighbors or 2- having gone to the same school (before being a Sorcerer obviously).

Be that as it may, Geto has known you for a long time, since you were young he remembers to give you a hand when you couldn't on your own (whether pushing your wheelchair/reaching for your crutches).

He always felt that he naturally gravitated towards you, he thought it was because of his belief that Non-Sorcerers needed protection, and in your case it was more serious, because of your disability, he felt that he had to take care of you.

but he soon realized that that wasn't really the reason, because despite your cadences, you were really capable, you were smart, creative, you had a good academic and even motor level, so he felt calmer in some way, knowing that he wanted to be with you to Bc of YOU in general.

Thus a beautiful friendship was born.

Geto was a very fun friend to have around, especially because, in general, he was very attentive so that you didn't feel left out.

It was like that even when they were little, if there was a game where you couldn't play, he would change it so you could be in it too. Translated to today, if he saw that his teammates were leaving you aside, he would intervene to assert yourself.

God forbid someone made a bad comment about your disability around him☠️

Geto didn't tolerate that shit.

For the same reason, when he went to Jujustu High, he was a little worried that you didn't have anyone who had as much experience helping you as he did, although at that moment you reassured him and wished him luck in his "new school".

...yes, at first you didn't really know what Jujutsu High was, you always had the feeling that Geto had certain strange qualities, but you just thought he was eccentric.

(Geto definitely ate several curses that tried to get closer to you or your home over the years)

Although Geto helped you with what you will need, he also wanted you to do things on your own so that you could have more capacity and generally feel more "normal" so to speak. obviously things that wouldn't make you uncomfortable.

That's why you had a lot of confidence in yourself, even when he left, it was another reason why I thought you would be fine without him. that someone else might be able to take care of you.

and at first, everything seemed to be going well! You continued going to high school, getting weekly updates from Geto (whether in person or via text), and everything felt almost unchanged. except that...

You realized that, apart from Geto, no one else dared to talk to you now. It wasn't even because you didn't try, people saw you (with a strange expression) and said goodbye immediately.

and you tried MANY times, again, and again, and again, and again, but always the same, they saw you and walked away in a hurry, with that expression on their faces.

That was your story during the first part of the year, where you also identified the feeling behind those faces.

disgust.

"It's normal" they used to say when you complained to someone "if you can't keep up with others, they'll leave you behind or you'll isolate yourself, you're not trying hard enough."

That just made you feel worse obviously.

but you didn't dare to share that part with Geto, not when you saw each other and he was so happy to see you and tell you about his classmates (normal classmates, apparently), especially a "Satoru" who always appeared in his anecdotes, it was nice to see him this happy.

You didn't dare to break his bubble with your "meaningless problems" so you only talked about the academic part and things at home, and he believed it.

In a way, these outings were what helped you stay sane, because the loneliness of the first year was overwhelming.

but the second year was worse. much worse.

They already knew that you wouldn't do much against isolation, so they took a step further, aggression.

At first they were typical comments from someone ignorant (not necessarily malicious) but they escalated to hurtful jokes and more unpleasant comments as time went by.

although at least one or two people took pity on your situation and started helping you when you had problems with your disability (previously, most of the time only teachers did it). and you talked about them as "friends" (although they were barely acquaintances) when you hung out with Geto, thus managing to elude his radars for another year.

that's what you thought, Although Geto began to notice certain changes in your attitude in the second year, he thought that maybe these "friends" could be toxic friends, which made him ask you out more often.

You even got to meet his teammates! Satoru and Shoko. Although you felt that they were leaving some things... out of the conversations, they were fun, especially Gojo, you understood why Geto was so delighted with him.

Even at one point when Geto left them alone with you, they continued talking to you about the most normal things, even joking that Geto talked about you every now and then at school, as if they were insinuating something...

but Geto returned before they continued with that.

Does anyone remember that scene where Geto and Gojo are riding a bike together? They'd probably try that on you, with a LOT of precautions Obviously, but you'll get it done somehow (is this even physically possible? Don't ask) and WOW it's almost like flying.

this would happen a couple more times in the second year, while you weren't even HALF as close to Shoko and Gojo as Geto, they were definitely good people that you enjoyed hanging out with. almost friends, so to speak.

While things at your own school weren't getting better, but at least they weren't trying anything besides verbal bullying, a part of you feels like you should have expected it.

Your family was not happy about this, they were much more aware of your situation, but since there was no physical damage, they couldn't do much, and you didn't want to waste their time.

The bullying would continue even if you changed schools, you knew it. they knew it.

At least you still had Geto and that helped you cope with everything.

That was until the third year, where everything went to hell.

That was the first thing Geto noticed.

He decided to be honest with what he did at Jujutsu High, even if he didn't give all the information, now everything made MUCH more sense, it's the first thing you remember from that year.

The third year was a blur, what started as typical school bullying turned into direct physical violence and more direct grievances.

hide your things, throw them in the trash, shake you and pull your hair, make rounds to push you, pinch you until you cry, hit you with a ruler-

Everything escalated so quickly that your family decided halfway through the year that you would no longer go to school, but instead study at home.

How so, you never told Geto this, mostly because you only let him tell how he was doing lately and if he asked, you would just tell him some family drama story.

This time he didn't buy it from you.

And to make matters worse, your relatives accidentally spilled the beans on HIS parents.

There was no escape, you had to tell him.

and surprisingly he wasn't mad at you. not at all.

Rather, he was angry that he didn't ask more deeply, knowing that there were holes in your story, and maybe help you through the whole process.

but he settled for comforting you and giving you a hand now that you would be more within reach than before.

If your family had some business to attend to and couldn't take care of you, Geto would offer. Obviously they were skeptical at first, but they realized very quickly that there was nothing to worry about.

Those days it would practically just be the two of you doing things like kids your age, playing some games, watching trash TV, taking a break from the outside world.

Geto also ends up learning even more about your condition to be able to take better care of yourself these days, although he believes that it is best to ask your family for advice since they are the ones who interact with you the most during the day and know best how to treat your specific case.

Although you also care a lot about him, even if you don't fully understand his "job", you don't want him to neglect taking care of you.

You only make him fall even harder, honestly.

If you are even an "unofficial couple" at this point, Geto is very careful with you, in the sense that he does not want the world of Jujustu to reach you in some way.

Maybe that's why he doesn't share much of what he does in Jujutsu High, not only because technically he shouldn't, but because he feels that if he tells you EVERYTHING he would be tarnishing you in some way - it's just that you're so friendly and cute! He wants to keep you always like that!

Then, when he is spiraling down, you are the first to notice and try to talk to him, but at first he seems to avoid you :(

Maybe it doesn't last long (maybe a week) before he comes back (practically running) and apologizes for it, he just can't handle seeing you hurt because of him :'(

He also continues to show worrying behavior, when he talks about the Non-Sorcerer for example, you can see the HATE in his eyes when he talks about them, saying frankly creepy things, only to completely turn around and say that it doesn't include you, you're different, you are good.

You try to talk to Shoko and Gojo but you don't have their contacts, and you honestly don't know if it's a good idea to ask Geto for them in his current state.

and one day... it just happens, the last straw.

and Geto disappears for a time, a time that seems eternal.

and the last thing you remember about it is already being in the cult. without having an idea of how or when, but you were already there.

but...do you feel strangely safe?

As You could, you leave the comfortable room that you wake up and search for any clue that tell you what they hell just happen.

Your family is also with you, but unlike you, they are much more bewildered by the whole situation. Everyone is dressed in strange clothes, well, except for you, you have clothes quite similar to what you wear at home.

When you least realize it, Geto is with you, by your side, asking how you feel (as if he hadn't just fucking kidnapped you all), he's different, you notice, he's much calmer.

although he looks noticeably more irritated when talking to your family (he even goes so far as to call them "monkeys").

and basically explains to them WHY they are all here.

You are an exception to his rule, and your family can stay as long as they take care of you (because he wouldn't even let some stranger or "monkey" take care of your condition).

You don't understand much of what he's talking about, but that seems to be his intention. and is again incredibly gentle when addressing you.

Being with Geto is a delight, even when he's evil, you know he's up to no good, but there's little you can do to stop him. So you do what anyone would do, accept their advantageous situation.

Besides, it's not bad at all.

Geto introduces you to the family, who although they were VERY skeptical of you at first, grew fonder of you much faster than they want to admit.

Except for the twins, they already had you in high regard because of how Geto talked about you.

Now that he has the resources, rest assured that he will get you things to make your condition more manageable (if he doesn't get some Sorcerer who can alleviate the symptoms, but he will still get them for you just in case)

YOU. ARE. SPOILED. ROTTEN. It's not even fun now, before young Geto would have done anything so you could stand on your own or walk towards him, but nowadays it seems like he doesn't even want you to move a muscle. Just stay on his lap and let him pamper you.

That's another thing, it becomes considerably more Clingy. He respect if you don't want to have contact due to sensory overload, but the man is literally SHAKEING when he can't even give you 3 hugs.

You also become more chubby, he insist that you should eat more to be more healty(Even insist on spoon feed you if youre having a Bad day). Maybe he just don't want to see you in a sickly state like in the School days(he still has a Little guilty for that).

Don't misunderstand, if you want to improve your condition, Geto will give you all his support (and that of the family alongside yours, they are your cheerleaders🤣), any progress is an achievement.

Do you know those videos of paraplegic brides who walk to the altar (even if it's with a support)? If you do that with Geto (whether the evil one or Teacher) he will most likely start crying (from happiness and pure love)

Your family went from = completely approving to = HATING HIM WITH ALL THEIR SOUL. Geto is the same, but he realized that it would put you in a bad mood if he referred to them as "monkeys" (at least in front of you), so they made a "Cold War" pact, they only say things to each other when you are not close.

Like:

*You:Go shopping with the twins*

Geto:(make sure youre gone)MONKEYS

Your family: INSANE, LUNATIC, UGLY, KYS--

if we're talking about an AU where Geto doesn't turn evil (aka, free therapy) IT'S ALL FLUFF.

Mimiko and Nanako LOVES YOU!(independent of the AU) and will definitely defend you from any idiot who thinks making fun of you is "fun"

(in canon no one would even dare to look the wrong way in your direction thanks to Geto's protection)

In general he is much more open to letting you do things.

He is still cuddly, but at a "normal" level so to speak, he can die at any moment despite being (along with Satoru) the strongest, so he greatly appreciates the moments with you and the girls.

He often goes with you with Shoko, who becomes something of a close friend of the family.

Gojo makes many many MANY "lovebird" jokes when the two of you are around, or when Geto calls you to check on you, you can hear Gojo mockingly affectionately.

"I'm going to get you a divorce lawyer for your birthday.""fuck you Satoru"

In general, Geto sees you as someone precious, and that your disability (apart from not preventing you from being a capable person) only highlights your soft and friendly personality despite everything, how you approach life, sincerely he just wants to take care of you.

He loves you very much regardless of your abilities.

Shares, reblogs, and comments are very welcome!

[tooneys-russo]

BOOTS AND BROKEN HEARTS

Previous Parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Summary: Alessia and her UNC coach Willa have a bit too much chemistry. Only downside is that Willa has a girlfriend.

Warning: Smut 18+

CHAPTER 7

When the team arrived at the hotel they immediately all went to their separate rooms, Willa laid back on her bed and looked through Instagram. There was a post by Jennifer, it was her and Alanna kissing on a beach confirming their relationship. Willa sighed and put her phone down, it was exactly what she needed. Alessia saw the picture on Instagram and showed Lotte. “Bloody hell she moves on quick.” Alessia just nodded in acknowledgement. The team met in the hotel dining room for dinner, Willa sat on the coaches table with her laptop out and her notebook. She was taking notes on the opposition players ready for their film session the following afternoon. Alessia kept looking over at Willa, noticing she was completely focused on her work. Alessia tried to get involved with the conversation, when she looked back at Willa she was gone. Willa had left to go on a walk by herself, she stopped at a bench in a small park. Her head was a mess, she wanted to just go home and watch a football game with Alessia, or watch Alessia play. Both of which were impossible right now. Willa covered her face trying to hold back the tears, her ex was right she was a hasbeen who was never going to make it. Alessia would move on from her as soon as she got the chance. Alessia made her way into the park seeing Willa’s figure on the park bench, she sat next to the girl and rubbed her back. No words were spoken for a time as they just sat there together. 

After an hour Willa finally spoke. “Alessia, I am so sorry.” Alessia sighed. “Shut up Willa. Just tell me what is going on.” She rubbed her coach’s back. “Jen has moved on, which to be honest I don’t give a shit about. It is just that she's right. This could never work even if we wanted it to. You are going to go onto amazing things Alessia and I am just going to be the girl who couldn’t make it.” Alessia put her hand on Willa’s thigh. “Willa, you might not be on the field right now but you are easily one of the best coaches I have ever seen. You are phenomenal in what you do. You are 22 and have an incredible football mind. Kind of happy you aren’t on the field, otherwise I wouldn’t have you here. You would be in the NWSL.” Willa laughed coldly. “I wouldn’t want to play in the U.S. Standards are slipping here. Europe is the best place to play, you watch in a couple years the WSL will be one of the best leagues.” Alessia rolled her eyes with a smile. “Shut up Willa.” She bumped the brunette gently. “Thank you Alessia.” Willa said softly. “Can you stop calling me Alessia please, call me Less or something. It’s too formal and weird hearing you say it. Now get up.” Alessia stood, being helped by her crutches. Willa stood and hugged Alessia tightly. Alessia held Willa close against her body, being able to smell her perfume and feeling Willa’s face bury into her neck. It felt like they had been wrapped up together for hours, when they pulled apart their eyes locked. “We always end up like this, don't we?” Alessia said as she finally gave into her desire. Their lips crashed together, Willa holding Alessia’s hips to steady her. They moved in perfect sync, Willa pulled back and put her forehead against Alessia’s while they caught their breath. “Can we maybe get dinner sometime?” Alessia nodded at Willa’s request. “I would love that. Maybe you could cook for me?” Alessia touched the hem of Willa’s shirt. Their lips met again gently, “Let’s go inside.” Alessia smiled wide as they both headed back into the hotel. 

That night they set up a viewing room where they analysed the opposition’s tactics, Willa sat up the back as per usual and this time Alessia sat next to her. Willa quietly told Alessia what tactics she would need if she faced them next season. Alessia listened intently and asked questions as the video played. Lotte and Lois whispered about the pair, noting that they did look adorable together. At the end of the session Alessia waited behind until everyone left, kissing Willa once they were alone. Willa placed her hands on Alessia’s bum and lifted her easily making the blonde wrap her legs around Willa’s waist, the moonboot that Alessia was sporting on her broken leg made it a little awkward but she didn’t care. Their encounter started to get more heated as Alessia tangled her fingers in Willa’s hair, small moans escaping both their mouths. “Want to come up to my room?” Willa said breathlessly, Alessia could only respond with a nod. Their exchange was just as heated when the door to Willa’s room closed. Willa laid Alessia on her bed and pressed her body on top, Alessia gripped onto the back of Willa’s neck pulling her closer. Willa kissed Alessia's neck and slid her hand up the blonde’s shirt, her back arched into Willa’s touch. Willa sat up and took off her shirt showing off body and Alessia let out a laugh. Willa stopped and Alessia grabbed Willa’s hand to stop her getting off her. “Baby what the fuck are those tattoos?!” Willa looked down at the UCLA Bruin Logo that she had tattooed underneath the Newcastle United Logo. “Hey these are the best damn logos you have seen.” Alessia’s fingers traced over the tattoos, goosebumps rose where Alessia’s fingers touched her skin. “I mean they aren’t horrendous, just not my taste.” Willa leant down and silenced Alessia’s criticism with her mouth. Alessia’s phone rang and both girls groaned, “Apparently its lights out soon and I have to get to my assigned room.” Alessia’s finger went down the middle of Willa’s chest to the hem of her pants. “I would hate to be caught out of bed by any of my coaches.” Willa watched Alessia’s finger. “I don’t want to punish you.” Willa leant in for another kiss and Alessia pushed her off. “Bye coach.” Alessia smirked and headed back to her room. Willa was laying back on her bed watching the blonde walk out, completely shocked that Alessia would be able to control her like that. 

The following morning Alessia sat with Lotte and Lois, filling them in on her afternoon and night with Willa. They were a bit hesitant about supporting the two, Alessia trying to assure them that it was a good call. Willa walked into the room trying to get Alessia’s attention which she succeeded in getting. She had her UNC polo on, that showed off her tanned arms, black skinny jeans that stopped at the ankles and her black and white Nike Jordans. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she wore her RayBan sunglasses to cover her eyes. Alessia’s mouth fell open as she stared at Willa, a few of the other girls had the same expression as they look at their coach. Willa looked over at Alessia and smirked seeing the girl almost drooling looking at her. Willa smugly walked over and leant over to talk to Sydney who was next to Alessia, her arm was leaning on the table having her muscles on full display. Alessia could smell Willa’s perfume, her hand gently touched the back of Willa’s leg making the older girl’s leg buckle a little. Willa cleared her throat and walked back to the coaches table where she kept glancing at the blonde who returned her looks. 

As the team got ready for the game Willa and Alessia stole a moment to themselves, Alessia pulled Willa against her body and kissed the brunette desperately. “I hate you so much.” Alessia moaned into Willa’s mouth. “Why princess?” Willa moved her kisses down Alessia’s neck. “Look what you are wearing. How the hell can I focus on anything?” Willa smirked against Alessia’s neck. “Baby you don’t need to focus on anything but me.” Willa pulled back and left Alessia to catch her breath against the wall staring angrily at the brunette. “After the game tonight, come to my room.” She winked as she left, Alessia took a moment to gather herself before walking out to meet the team to watch warm up. Willa spoke to a few players and Alessia kept her eyes on her coach, admiring the way she connected with the players and her enthusiasm for coaching. It was nice to see someone who cared. During the game Alessia sat next to Willa, it was complete professionalism during the game with Willa talking through different plays with Alessia. They both bounced off each other chatting about the game and different tactics. Once the game was over the girls were celebrating their 3-0 win as they ate in the hotel dining room. Willa chatted with the coaching staff, Alessia and the team were making plans on how to celebrate, they couldn’t do much considering they had another game the following day but they did want to sit and watch a movie at the minimum. They all headed up to one of the girl’s rooms, only about 8 were willing to watch The Conjuring, Alessia left soon into the movie saying she was scared which to her credit wasn’t really a lie. 

She headed straight to Willa’s room and knocked on the door, the brunette opened the door wearing boxer shorts and a tank top. She immediately picked up the giggling blonde and carried her inside. “Well hello there gorgeous.” Willa said as she carefully laid Alessia down on her bed. Their lips connected and they moaned into each other's mouths, they missed each other considering they had only been apart for about an hour or two. Alessia pulled Willa’s top off and then her own, their bodies were pressed hard against each other. Willa moved down Alessia’s body leaving kisses as she went, she looked up at the blonde as she reached her pants, Alessia nodded in acceptance as Willa relieved her of her pants. Alessia took off her bra so she was only left in her underwear watching Willa’s movements. Kisses were left on the inner of Alessia’s thighs, her legs shaking with anticipation as finally Willa gave her what she wanted. Willa pulled Alessia’s underwear off while keeping eye contact, she leant in and licked Alessia slowly, the girl moaning under her. Willa smirked at the blonde’s response, she licked Alessia’s clit a bit faster, she pressed herself against Willa’s mouth harder. “Fuck baby yes.” Alessia moaned. Willa was spurred on by Alessia’s moans and sucked on her clit and fingered her harder. It wasn’t long before Alessia could feel a building feeling in the pit of her stomach, it was slowly spreading with every single thrust of Willa’s fingers. Willa thrusted her fingers and curled them into Alessia’s spot, making her fall over the edge and her orgasm taking over her body. Alessia pulled up Willa and kissed her deeply, her hand snaking down the coach’s body to her pussy. Alessia’s finger circled around Willa’s clit making the older girl moan. “Oh oh my god Alessia.” She gripped onto the sheets either side of Alessia’s head. The blonde smirked as she watched Willa’s reaction, the girl straddling her lap making it easy for Alessia to push a finger inside the gorgeous girl above her. Willa’s head fell onto Alessia’s shoulder as she pushed back on her fingers wanting her deeper. Alessia added a second finger inside Willa and moaning at the addition. She slowly began riding, wanting more from the blonde, in response Alessia curled her fingers and Willa’s stopped letting out a loud moan from her lips. “Fuck Alessia!” Alessia sped up her movements inside Willa until the older girl collapsed on her as she came on her fingers. Alessia wrapped her arms around Willa and kissed her head gently. 

The next morning the two woke up to Willa’s alarm, they saw the time and quickly got up. “Be careful of your leg baby.” Willa grabbed onto Alessia as she got up. They showered, with only quick touches making sure they didn’t go too far and get caught up in each other. Willa grabbed some of her extra clothes for Alessia including UNC track pants, training shirt and hoodie. Alessia smiled wide as they headed to breakfast, before entering the dining hall Willa placed a chaste kiss on Alessia’s lips. They walked in separately, Alessia sitting with Lotte and Willa sitting with Anson. “We will probably need to have a meeting once we get back to Chapel Hill, just about you and Alessia.” Willa nodded and looked at her plate.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject to Change Chapter 22 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i’m sorry.

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He really was feeling guilty about stabbing me, That was strangely relieving to know.

But I couldn’t blame him, he thought he was going to die.

“Im fine, just saw a dead mutilated body and my pouch hurts from my body attempting to get rid of its own guts”

I tried bringing some humor into the conversation but I felt like that failed.

From the look Rikaad gave me that definitely failed, I probably wouldn’t attempt humor again anytime soon.

At least that made two of us who had a skewed sense of humor.

“Maybe we can find something you can use as a painkiller back at the castle? Or we should probably ask Oakley, he knows more about Ardua than we do so he might be able to help”

I nodded at him, something to make the horribly itchy ache go away would be great, and Oakley, well he was the one that read about Ardua so he’d probably know what to use to make the itching stop.

I’d ask him later as for now it wasn’t that bad, just annoying.

Also maybe I should offer help in transporting Nea back to the castle, while she wasn’t okay with being carried she might not mind if I offered to let her sit on my shoulders.

Or maybe she would also hit me with her helmet if I suggested that, fifty fifty chance, but I’d still rather not be hit with a solid metal object.

I wouldn’t know until I asked though, so I went over to the angry woman that currently tried to use a really long stone brick as a crutch.

Even I could tell that that wouldn’t work, but she looked really determined.

“Nea? I don’t think you can walk on that foot, maybe i could help?”

“I don’t need help, i need an usable crutch, i'm not going ta be carried like some stupid helpless maiden!”

Well technically it wasn’t carrying, more like a piggyback ride but i would not say that out loud.

“That is not what i meant, i don’t have thumbs right now anyway, I wanted to offer that you could just sit on my back?”

She looked a bit confused at that but then seemed to remember that Robin had already done that, Arthur too.

“Fine! If ya wanna play horse i’m all for it, maybe those idiots will stop fussin when i don’t walk myself”

She grumbled and using the stone as an anchor slowly stood up.

I could see some of the guards slump over a bit, clearly in relief and I went over to Nea who had managed to climb a broken wall with one leg.

I bent down so she had an easier time climbing on and she just jumped using her good leg up onto my back.

While I stood back up she made herself comfortable by sitting like a man on horseback.

Right, she said she used to be a farmhand so surely she had sat on a horse before, she even grabbed some of my scruff like it was reigns.

I started to feel like this was a bad idea, I didn’t know her very well and she was in the prime position to stab my spine at the base of my neck.

But somehow I doubted she would do that, tugging at my fur however…

“Let us all go then! I can’t wait tha get home and toss tha stupid snow gear in tha closet!”

She softly yanked at one of the handfuls of fur she held like she wanted to steer a horse.

This was gonna be really stupid, at least for me.

But on the bright side the tugging actually distracted me from my aching pouch so I let her.

If she did yank too hard I would just tell her.

The thing that worried me was that her injured foot still felt cold even against my thick fur, and with the way it looked I really hoped she wouldn’t have to amputate it.

I didn’t want to paint the devil on the wall with such thoughts but it was a valid concern, none of these people knew what to do when dealing with magic as today had shown.

The only one with any knowledge on such things was Oakley and I hoped he’d be willing to help.

Since all of the Guards were now ready to move we could finally go.

Now that all the snow was gone I had thought we would have an easier time traversing the ground but as it turned out everything was mud now.

It clung to my legs and I accidentally dipped my tail into a puddle, making a lot of wet dirt cling to the fluff at the tip.

Somehow this was even worse than the snow but at least I wasn’t the only one that would have to scrub all of this muck off.

Rounding the corner of another broken wall I had to stop dead in my tracks as a human shape with red hair barreled into my leg.

“You fixed it! It’s not cold anymore! What even was it?”

Now i was more glad than ever that i had told him to hide, I didn’t think he would have had an easy time handling that.

Now I had to come up with what to tell him what even happened while leaving out the gorier details.

I myself had not really a clue what was going on most of the time so-

My thoughts were interrupted by Nea, loudly proclaiming.

“There was some ugly guy with a magic staff but we kicked him and took his staff, so no more ice magic fer that idiot “

Well, that was one way to explain it, and it seemed Robin only noticed someone else was on my back as she spoke and looked a bit surprised.

And now Arthur finally showed up from behind a fallen boulder, panting a bit, looking at me then at Robin before doing a double take back at me.

“Why’s Nea on your back? Nevermind, i’m just glad the snow is gone”

“We all are, though now everything is full of mud and that’s going to be a nightmare to get out of fur”

I got a laugh out of Arthur for that comment.

“Yeah it think you have it the worst, but at least it fits the green colors”

I had to smile at this, yes the mud was stupid but that would go away, My friends wouldn’t go away though.

Maybe I should offer to take them back also?

Not like they could put much more of all this muck on me.

And looking around, i could see that all of the people involved would need a bath, though i couldn’t see Oakley, he was probably flying ahead or something.

Lucky fucker avoiding all of the dirt like that.

Rikaad who was on the front of the convoy with Norrin again somehow managed to only have some mud on his shoes and pants.

Norrin however looked like he’d been thrown into a puddle of it, and he also was back to looking uncomfortably uptight.

Nervousness in front of a higher ranking indeed made him act a bit weird, poor guy.

I looked back to Robin and Arthur, Both of whom looked like they had tried to stay out of the muddy puddles by climbing the ruins around us.

“You guys want a ride also? Not like i can get that much more muddy anyway”

Robin enthusiastically nodded while Arthur shook his head.

Well that were two completely different reactions, Then I remembered that Arthur said he had motion sickness.

Made sense for him to avoid anything that would cause it, and it wasn’t like I could go much faster than the rest of the group anyway.

I’d still give Robin the ride though, he seemed to love not being so small for a bit.

So I bent down again, being mindful of Nea, and let him climb up once again.

He adjusted himself about three feet behind Nea and clung to my fur, Carefully holding on.

I was glad he wasn’t tugging at it like Nea did, but since Nea was injured I figured to let her have that, it didn’t really hurt after all and she wasn’t ripping it out so it was fine if a tiny bit annoying.

But not nearly as annoying as my itching pouch, I really should ask Oakley if he had anything to make it stop.

Well Oakley was who knew where right now, and I had the suspicion that he went and hid the staff like he said he would.

He’d come back soon enough. 

He did want to live in the tower with the Oaktree next to it after all, and then I could just go over to him and see if he had anything that could make the itching stop.

I hoped he had something to make the itching stop, this was annoying as fuck.

Well, first we had to make the trek back to the castle, and now it was the middle of the day, Fuck.

That made it a hundred times more likely for the townsfolk to see me.

If this ended with pitchforks in front of the castle I would have a real problem.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, …right?

Well the only thing i could do was hope for the best.

The trek back down the hill was a logistical nightmare as everything had turned into one giant mudslide and nobody managed to get down without slipping.

At some point i decided fuck it, and laid on my front just sliding all the way down even if that made my entire underside completely soggy from the mud.

That would be hell to get off, not to mention that if it dried it would get uncomfortable and stick to me even more.

At least Robin thought sliding down was fun judging by his laughter.

I was also pretty sure that I heard Nea giggle a little too but I wasn’t sure.

I would never mention that to her though.

Looking back at everyone else I could see that Rikaad was the only one that somehow did not fall into the mud.

He must have a good sense of balance.

Looking at myself I could see that my entire underside and legs were dripping with mud.

Yeah, I definitely needed a bath later, maybe dip myself in the ocean before shifting to avoid dragging mud everywhere.

That would make the castle staff hate me for sure.

It took another five minutes for everyone to get down, most of which just slid down like me either on purpose or as an accident.

This did not look like the royal guard at the moment, more like a bunch of kids that had gotten outside after rain.

I would have liked to shake the mud off of me like a dog but with the two on my back that wasn’t a good idea, I’d fling them off.

Suddenly Nea yanked on my fur again, this time with both hands like she wanted to stop a horse.

I looked in her direction as well as I was able to, and the guards around us also noticed that I had stopped dead in my tracks.

“Wait a second, we can’t just waltz right through town with tha big guy here! Now that everyones awake there would be a panic!”

She was right, and now that she pointed it out I realized I should have said something about this sooner.

But being around so many people made me nervous, especially since they all had weapons.

Norrin looked between me and the way to Tunstead, before going over to Rikaad and quietly speaking with him.

It wasn’t long after that that both came over to us.

Robin waved down from my back at both of them earning little waves back in return.

Then Rikaad and Norrin turned to me, with Rikaad not talking long around the matter at hand.

“Nea is right in that aspect, having you walk through Tunsted in the middle of the day is going to cause chaos, maybe you should walk the longer route around? If not i’m sure someone else can help Nea get around so you can shift down”

I could practically feel Nea glaring at the prospect of being carried like an helpless damsel, but she couldn’t refuse the king after all.

Though-

“Wait, shift down? Ya tellin me this muddy furball can shapeshift???”

Well that was not how i wanted people to know, and I for sure would take the longer route now to avoid getting stared at by all the other guards.

Not to mention that I would be covered in mud even more if I shifted.

I really didn’t like mud anymore after so much of it.

“I think i’ll just go around, gives whoever medic you want to call for her foot plenty of time to prepare, and i don’t want to be stared at if i’m honest”

Both Rikaad and Norrin nodded before Norrin spoke.

“I think the fastest way would be to head northwest a bit until you see the treeline and then follow it until you get closer to the ocean, by then you should see the castle anyway, good luck”

He had pointed in the direction we needed to go while he talked, not that that was necessary as I could see the trees in the far off distance quite well, then again I had the height advantage here.

I nodded at them and Norrin went back to organize the rest of the division who in the meantime had tried to scrape some of the mud off using whatever they could find to do so.

Rikaad lingered a few more seconds with us though.

“Stay safe, since you are between the forest and the city there still might be either People or Monsters so keep an eye out”

After that he went back to the group next to Arthur who tried to wring out mud from his shirt unsuccessfully.

Since they would now go back through Tunstead I decided to ask if Robin wanted to go with them, since I would take the longer route around with Nea he might want to stick to the other two.

“Hey Robin? You wanna go with the other two?

The long way around might be a bit boring”

I could feel him lean to the side a bit and I turned my head accordingly so he could see at least one of my eyes.

“I think i’ll stick with you, i don’t really know what to do in the group anyway and they make me kinda nervous”

I nodded and turned to walk towards the trees.

Robin was right, the guards did have a tendency to make me nervous as well so I could perfectly understand what he meant.

“Then let’s go, who knows how much longer this will take”

I settled into a steady walking pace, but that pace was still at least twice as fast as that of a jogging human.

The four legs really were practical in that sense, I could walk very fast and having people sitting on my back like this was almost no inconvenience.

I still was careful though, I absolutely did not want them to fall off.

That would not bode well for me, or my sanity, not to mention that Nea was already injured.

I did have to admit that she was one tough Woman though.

I probably wouldn’t be this calm if my foot had been hit by an ice blast, An event that she was currently telling Robin after he had asked what happened to her.

“-and that’s why my foot looks so ugly right now, but don’t worry, at tha castle they are gonna get tha boot off and fix it, I’ll be good as new in no time!”

Yeah that about summed it up, i just hoped she didn’t have to amputate it, that would suck.

“Yeah, as soon as we get there some doctor is going to help with that so we better get a move on”

I slightly sped up my gait, much to the amusement of the two sitting on my back, and it made mud drip everywhere.

I didn’t think I had that much of it in my fur but apparently I was mistaken.

Suddenly Nea leaned forwards a lot, and with a mischievous tone asked.

“Hey ya walkin mud puddle, how fast can ya get?”

There was amusement clearly evident in her voice and I decided to indulge both of them as Robin had started to chant for me to go faster at Neas suggestion.

“Alright, but if you feel like you can’t hold on anymore tell me and i’ll slow down”

I could feel both of them grip my fur even tighter and I slowly accelerated, gaining steadily on speed.

I went faster and faster as neither of them told me to stop and eventually the ground was just a blur underneath me while I leaped over the earth.

Ohh this was fun!

I didn’t even care about being covered in mud anymore.

I just went as fast as i could get all the while i heard Robin and Nea laughing.

“WOOHOO! Now that’s what I call fast! Well end up in tha castle before them if ya can keep that pace up big guy!”

Nea seemed thoroughly amused by the prospect of being there before the rest of the division.

To be fair it would be funny, so I kept the pace I was at, making the ground almost fly away underneath me.

Being this fast was weirdly fun, I hadn’t anticipated being able to go at such a pace but I wasn’t complaining.

The four legs clearly were an advantage for this.

The ground was far from even so it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but none of the humans on my back complained, instead they cheered when I had to take a particularly big leap to get over a ditch.

That made me wonder how far I could actually jump.

I decided to test it out by jumping over a small stream that came up ahead.

The Stream itself had swollen with melted snow and was an ugly brown color from all the mud, I’d guess it to be about eight feet across.

There wasn’t really any way around it, only a small dingy bridge that would never hold me so I had to jump regardless, and slowing down wouldn’t help me so I went even faster.

“Are you gonna Jump over that water?”

I heard Robin call from somewhere behind Nea.

“YES! So hold on and do not let go! This is going to be a rough ride!”

I could feel both of them lean forward as much as they could, which meant they were half lying half sitting on my back as I prepared to jump.

The water was now right in front of me and I jumped as soon as I felt it on the tip of my front paws, near flying over the mucky water.

I could hear Robin let out a squeal of joy and landed a few feet after the water on the other side.

I didn’t really know how far exactly that was but I would put it at about twelve feet.

Huh, that was impressive, I wondered how far exactly it was.

Suddenly I heard Nea call right into my ear.

“That’s tha fastest I have ever traveled!

we’re going to be at tha castle first fer sure!”

I just grinned and kept the pace I was at, occasionally jumping over various obstacles.

At some point not even five minutes later I could see the Castle in the Distance, yeah, we’d be first for sure.

Another good thing about being this fast aside from the obvious joy of my passengers was that the mud on me had mostly come off and only some dried bits were still stuck to me.

I’d still take a dip in the ocean to get it off though, that would make the bathwater itself less muddy.

I’d bet that the castle even had hot water, That was something I had always wanted to try.

On the streets it was either rainwater showers or a dip in whatever river I could find.

I’d shift down for that though, I didn’t think anyone would have a bathtub big enough for an Ardua.

Now that the Castle was within sight I changed course slightly to steer away from the treeline and towards the imposing building.

it was a good thing that i remembered where exactly the door was i had used when i first arrived here, even if it meant that the two on my back had to get down for a bit.

I was suddenly glad Robin had come with as he could help Nea getting down and then climb up again.

And he could also go ahead to inform a medic about Nea so they could prepare for whatever was wrong with her foot.

After that we could wait at the gate for everyone else, they’d be really confused as to why we were here before them.

Maybe Nea was lucky and got to see their reactions from out of a window.

I gradually went slower and came to a halt right before the closed door that led into the garden so as to not throw the two on my back off.

The door was still closed and I doubted anyone would open me without orders, sooo.

“Hey Nea, can you tell them to open the door?

I don’t think they’ll do it if i ask”

She leaned forward a bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see her nodding.

“Sure! I can do that!

OI YA FUCKERS OPEN THA DAMN GATE ALREADY!”

I took everything in me not to flinch at her sudden outburst, but at least I could hear the creaking of the door mechanism already.

“Nea! You are right behind my ears warn me please before you just holler so loudly”

“Sorry big guy, didn’t mean ta do that, also i don’t know how sensitive yer ears are but i won’t do it again”

I just huffed and bent down so Nea and Robin could climb off.

“Whatever, but you have to get off for a bit, i just barely fit through the frame and you would just fall of, you can get back up after i went through the gate though”

Robin immediately slid off and then stood awkwardly near where Nea would climb down as if to help.

Nea herself carefully swung her leg over and then slowly climbed down as well as she was able to with only one functional leg, and having to be caught by Robin after stumbling for a second.

“I’m fine, don’t make such a fuss! I can stand on my own”

She did not look fine, at least her foot didn’t but I chose to not say anything about it.

Robin also kept his mouth shut, instead just offering support by standing next to her so she could grab his shoulder if needed.

At this point the Door had completely opened and we could go through, I let Nea and Robin in first so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally hitting them with my tail.

The thing still was rather unusual to have and I didn’t exactly have full control over it so I’d rather not have it smack someone.

That would be really awkward.

Better not dwell on it, instead I focused on getting through the door myself, by ducking down again and shuffling forward while trying not to scrape my entire back on the top of it.

It only half worked and I hoped there wasn’t too much mud on it now.

On the other side of the gate I found a lot of guards, not the royal one but the ones stationed on the defense walls.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

[toastthewolfie]

Pt. 3 of Selena notes

pt. 1 | pt. 2 |

She HATES it when her feet aren’t on the ground, she doesn’t do well in aircrafts (bc its so high up) or when someone picks her off the ground (bc they’re a. Off the ground and b. Being touched), the only time they deem it okay is if they’re injured the point of being unable to walk, and even then, they prefer just using the other person as a crutch

Generally tries to not show herself being vulnerable, especially considering that she’s one of the younger members of Shadow Company, she doesn’t want to be seen as a liability as she knows that her injuries in the past can make her one. So whenever she’s either dealing with a flareup or is just on the brink mentally, she just passes off as ‘tired’ (she generally looks tired so it’s easy enough) and just isolates in her room until she feels normal enough)

speaking of wounds, the gunshot and burn wound were from her army days (closer to the end of her service with the army), the stab wounds on her hands came from her time in shadow company (one or two are from training accidents when someone accidentally grabbed a real knife instead of a fake one)

Cannot STAND black coffee, it needs to have an unholy amount of creamer or sugar for her to be able to stomach it normally. Of course, when she was in basic in the army, she full on just mixed celsius pre with her instant coffee made with monster energy instead of water, it’s a miracle that she didnt have a heart attack or something 😭😭😭

She doesn’t drink. She “got enough of that when I was 15 or something”, also just doesn’t trust anyone around base enough to drink openly (she’s also a lightweight, like embarrassingly so. Few shots and she’s done for the night😭😭)

She also barely smokes (literally she has one pack of cigaretes and they last her a year or more (longest running is 2 years, which she had to replace bc they werent good anymore)) but always has a lighter and can blow smoke rings (again, experience from falling in with the wrong people) like it’s second nature.

Really regrets not going to college, she knows that her mother is disappointed in her for joining the Army, and even more so for not taking advantage of the G.I. bill. She’s already made their family unit the laughingstock of the family, and she couldn’t just suck it uo and go to college or whatever? (Despite the fact that she cannot stand classroom settings and much prefers what she does now to any career she considered before.

Doesn’t really hold grudges, contrary to popular belief, (unless she DESPISES you, e.g. Shepherd, girliepop CELEBRATED when Price killed him) but remembers everything one might have done to wrong her but she’s not spiteful about it, it just affects how they operate with someone

also, if she ever makes herself a drink, she makes a lot of extra, just in case someone joins her and wants some :)

[lirlovesfic]

Miles to Go Before I Sleep

A My Hero Academia fanfic by lirlovesfic

Rating: M for swearing (hello, Bakugou) and canon-typical violence

Characters: just about everybody from the manga plus some cameos from other manga/anime/tv shows

Pairings: Bakugou/Midoriya, Aizawa/Yamada (Eraserhead/Present Mic), other background relationships

Summary:

When Deku left UA after the battle with Shigaraki, he left his ID behind because, unlike his license which only listed his hero name, it had his real name on it. He didn't need it anymore because from this moment on Midoriya Izuku, son of Midoriya Inko, hero student at UA and member of Class 1-A, no longer existed. He was Deku now, and only Deku. After all, the gift of One For All had come with a price, and because he was the quirk’s last holder, Deku was the world’s last chance to defeat All For One. Like it or not, even though his license was only provisional, he was a hero now. He had to be. He would fight All For One, and he would win. There was no other option. But that didn’t mean he’d survive the experience. Midoriya leaves UA to search for Shigaraki and All For One, determined to finally defeat All For One, no matter what it takes. And Bakugou is having none of it.

Chapter Nineteen

Both exhausted and sore, Shouta tried to hold back a wince as he and Hizashi walked down the hall—well, Hizashi was walking, Shouta was using his crutches, something he flatly refused to count as actual walking—from the physical therapy department to the exit. The session, which he’d gone to after spending an hour on quirk training that morning, had been particularly grueling today. For the first time, he’d used the prosthesis that was suitable for hero work that support had made for him. It felt different—a little sturdier, a little heavier, but mostly just different— than the one he’d been using the past week, and despite mild painkillers and a kiss from Recovery Girl, he hurt. But the therapist had told him that given how well he was doing, and the fact that Recovery Girl was able to help heal any inflammation he had as a result of using it, he’d be able to be cane-free in a few weeks.

It might be considered unrealistic, but he was determined to cut that time down to a week. He’d prefer to do it faster, of course. With Midoriya out there virtually alone—no matter how much All Might was helping him, Shouta really didn’t count it as actual help—he needed to get back to work as soon as possible. But any faster wasn’t realistic, no matter how determined he was.

“You are doing so much better, Sho,” said Hizashi.

Shouta ignored the comment. He knew he was doing better than he had been. He also didn’t consider it relevant. He wasn’t able to go out into the field yet, and until he could, he didn’t care how well he was doing. It was a binary choice for him: able to fight or unable to fight. And he was still unable to fight.

Read more

Start from the beginning

[whentranslatorscry]

Chapter 3: Kakushidate Yakusuke Guiding

1

If you mean to save time thoroughly, the most appropriate mode of transportation when moving should be taxi.

However, forgetful detective Kyouko-san prefers not to take taxis while on the job—There are voice and video recorders in the car.

Since her principle of action is to strictly observe the duty of confidentiality and to forget everything cleanly by the next day, avoiding having every detail of her movements at work recorded is reasonable. But avoiding even vehicle recorders seems a bit paranoid. Still, being a detective who has 'forgetfulness' as her selling point and rarely takes notes, perhaps such concerns are just part and parcel of the job.

Though I so wished she'd give a little thought to asking a fracture patient to lead the way, we opted to take the tram to the scene.

As I mentioned before, the doctor actually gave me permission to leave the hospital as soon as I was able to. The troublesome part was, there was no crutch that suited my height���there was one, but it was an old model, and with my right hand also broken, it was tough to handle.

It wasn't totally unusable though. I had resigned myself to struggle with it when Kyouko-san, observing my difficulty getting out of bed, came to stand on my right-hand side.

"Please. If you think I’m a heartless detective, you are mistaken,"

She was apparently offering to substitute herself for my crutch.

“Whoooaoaoa…!"

"Don’t be shy to put all your weight on me. I may not look it, but I'm pretty strong."

Walking did feel considerably easier this way, but how could I let Kyouko-san do this much for me… I tried to politely decline at first, and when I realized she was supporting my weight while sneakily touching the plaster on my leg and hand, gave up on that idea.  

I even had the suspicion her insistence on taking the train was just an excuse to freely touch my plastered limbs, but this wasn't the time to question it.  

Actually, I didn't really want to know.

"Now then, please lead the way."

"Okay... it's just three stops by train from here to the scene, but we'll have to walk straight there to the station like this."

"I couldn't ask for more."  

I couldn't ask for more…

As such, the two of us were leaning on each other as we walked, our bodies pressed close together and quite conspicuous on the street. I felt very shy about it, but Kyouko-san did not seem to mind at all.

Wasn't this a bit careless of her... Most people seeing me with a plaster cast would probably just think Kyouko-san was thoughtfully taking good care of me. Oh well, at least they wouldn't see through this woman's obsession with broken bones—that was good enough.  

"Speaking of guiding, the suicidal middle school girl referenced in her will a short manga by Fumoto-sensei. The title is just that."

"Oh? Is that so?"

True to Kyouko-san's words, we walked and talked.

Being so close to her—practically close enough to feel her breath, made my heart race and my cheeks flush. I had no confidence in my ability to converse. 

If memory serves me, the title of Fumoto-sensei's short manga should not be this.

Though her memory as the forgetful detective was flawless to a fault, for the span of one day until it resets. It was a correctness that mortals like me could not compare to.

If this was her 'preview' result, then she must not be mistaken… And her return to calling the suicidal girl  'middle school girl' was most likely due to us having left the hospital ward and moved to a more exposed location.

We can't be too careful about where and by whom we might be overheard, with endless media outlets trailing after me, the person of interest in this case. Even without the paparazzi, my reputation for getting involved in incidents was rumored to have caught the attention of public security. 

…If the rumors were to be true, I wonder what they would think of me, walking out of the hospital ward hand-in-hand with a woman with all white hair.

"But I remember, Kondou-san told me it was called Cicerone or something like that..."

"That's not wrong either. 'Cicerone' is Italian for 'person who guides'—in the work it refers to the guide on the journey of death."

So that's what it meant. I didn't know what it meant before—I thought maybe it was a word the author invented—but the title was indeed very specific. 

Kondou-san said that manga had romanticized depictions of suicide—Kyouko-san had already read through it during her "preview," hadn't she?

I asked her.

"Yes, I've read through Fumoto-sensei's works once. There aren't actually that many,"

She replied.

As usual, her reading speed was remarkably fast. According to Kondou-san, Fumoto-sensei's experience should not be short, so I figure the quantity is still not small.

"Hm...any thoughts?"  

"What?"

"N-nothing. I mean, since you actually read it...umm, what was it like?"

The ambiguity of the question was due to the fact that I didn't want to commit myself. What I really wanted to ask was about the content of the manga, that is, would it make people want to kill themselves after reading it, but I felt that was too tasteless to ask, so I didn't.

There was actually no need ro say that much to a detective like her. She considered a bit, then went 'Oh' before adding,

"Well, let's wait until the afternoon to talk about Cicerone—it would be unfair for you to form unnecessary preconceptions based on my impressions before you read it."

"O-Okay."

I had no intention of reading it… But as one involved, I may be lacking in integrity if I deny to read it. Maybe I should borrow it from Kondou-san later at the company. My reading speed was nowhere near that of Kyouko-san, but it's short, so it shouldn't even take five minutes.

I was thinking I could put off dealing with this story for the time being, but then Kyouko-san continued.

"For instance, aren't you aware of the promotional blurb for Kyuusaku Yumeno's 'Dogra Mogra' at the time of its release which claimed 'Read and Go Mad'?" (Note: Kyuusaku Yumeno was a mystery novelist in Japan's Shouwa era, and the long mystery novel Dogra Mogra was his representative work)

Was she trying to make small talk? It couldn't be.

In every minute and second that she couldn't afford to waste, she shouldn't have the idle pleasure of idle chatting with people about mystery novels.

I had read it, but I didn't find such a blurb there.

"...Surely there wasn't anyone that actually went mad, right?"

"None that were reported officially."

Her memory could be trusted on this—trivia about a novel as old as Dogra Mogra has to predate her ability to retain knowledge.

"I certainly didn't go mad."

Being in the process of fiddling with the plaster on my body made this claim somewhat dubious... As for me, however minimal my self-awareness, I knew I didn't go mad from reading this book.

"If one reads nothing but masterpieces and let them have no effect on his life, his sensibility has to be abnormal."

Such strong words, perhaps a touch of book-lover sentimentality.

Dogra Mogra was too complicated for me, to be frank, with many parts I couldn't really understand. I might have different thoughts on a second read.

Having walked to the station, we went to buy our tickets. For the same reason she doesn't take taxis, Kyouko-san doesn't use prepaid cards on the job—they leave a record. Even if it takes a little extra time, this small delay could be quickly made up by the fastest detective.

Luckily, as if timed to our arrival, the train pulled into the station. I dearly hoped we wouldn't be late for our appointment with Kondou-san due to our on site investigation.

"Please, have a seat."

Kyouko-san finally released me—free again at last, I felt regretful about that as well, how capricious of me. 

I suppose moving around with two broken bones took more energy than I imagined, so being able to sit down was a blessing. Serving as a giant's cane must have been no easy task for her either. I saw her sit beside me and stretch with a long sigh.

"Yawnn..."

Then, her eyes closed.

"Crap, p-please don't sleep!"

I didn't have the heart to say such words to her, given she was only fatigued from supporting my build. But I had to be firm—it would spell disaster if she fell asleep here.

The detective who forgets, whose memories reset every day.

It's a special constitution to be precise, where her memories reset on waking, whether from a nap or a full night's rest.

Now, with the rhythmic rocking of the train, dozing off even for a moment would wipe clean any memory of my request, the information about this case she had previewed—and also the insight she had gained of the malaise that lurked in Kondou-san heart during the course of previewing. All would be utterly forgotten.

This was the worst possible situation for the forgetful detective, yet the most likely danger I had to watch out for.

"It's all right, I got plenty of sleep last night," 

Kyouko-san said and still she stood up from her chair, perhaps worried she might fall asleep sitting.

Speaking of, since she could not remember when she fell asleep, it was also difficult to say whether she really got "plenty of sleep" last night... Whether one feels well rested or not after sleep depends on the individual—some may still feel tired after ten hours of sleep, while others may feel refreshed after just one hour of napping—she may have been working on a commission late into the night yesterday before finishing it.  

Not being able to adjust when to sleep and when to wake is the fatal flaw of the forgetful detective. Drowsiness is not something one can control.

"If you want to write a story about rewarding the good and punishing the evil, you'll inevitably have to depict the evil alongside the good. If you want to portray intense good, you must also intensely depict its corresponding evil. It's hard to guarantee that readers won't be influenced by this part."

The topic that was once paused suddenly resurfaced, leaving me momentarily unable to react.

But as long as she kept talking, she wouldn't fall asleep,

"So you think reading so-called 'good literature', like what's on recommended lists, isn't necessarily beneficial?"

So I agreed.

"Exactly. One could even argue that a story utterly devoid of evil might have a negative impact. Imagine a child, raised on a steady diet of sweet love stories and classic novels, believing every boy to be a gallant, handsome prince, both tender and chivalrous—venturing into society with an impression like that, you're bound to be sorely disappointed. The gap between fantasy and reality chews you up and spits you out!"

Hypothetically speaking. Yet her words had a ring of truth to them and it all sounded very real. If this was an episode from Kyouko-san's life before becoming the forgetful detective—when she was a teenager—then I was hearing truly precious tales.  

Had she been chewed up and spit out...?

"Such is the challenge of parenting... or rather, education. Children don't always grow up as adults expect."

"I-I guess."

Although she cited good literature as an example, when I was a child I never read the books recommended to me by my parents or or by my teachers. I was more drawn to comics and cartoons that made adults frown. When reading detective novels, I'd often be criticized for indulging in "stories of murder". Looking back on it now, it might have been these stories that cultivated my propensity for false accusations. What baffled me was why adults would reject such fascinating tales.

Everyone has been a child once, why can't they understand a child's mind? This thought had young me scratching my head.

"Well, precisely because everyone was once a child, they tend not to comprehend."

"Huh? What do you mean by that, Kyouko-san?"

"Ah, simply put, when everyone was young and not so disciplined. Calling them 'innocent' is just to sugarcoat it. These are the people who, having experienced foolishness and impulsive periods in their lives, feel the need to censor literature."

"......"

It was too uncouth to say. Her smile was friendly and her tone was cheerful, but in fact she was delivering truly devastating critique... But recalling my own childhood, it's hard to say she was wrong.

Who could say she was wrong?

"Life begins with imitating parents. Perhaps parents don't want their children to stumble in the same places they did. But to deny that sentiment without any explanation, that's kind of preposterous."

"Is, is it?"

That's surprising to hear.

The conversation so far had given me the impression that Kyouko-san opposed the view that fiction should be condemned as evil. But it would seem she did not look at things so one-sidedly.

"Regardless of the content of Fumoto-sensei's works, I believe that literature exists which could potentially sway readers toward suicide—crafty tales that glamourize suicide or tragic love to sway the reader's values,"

She clarified, almost as if to prove my assumptions wrong.

"The cases where authors end up following the bleak path outlined by their own works are spread across the world. For the sake of argument, the influence of literature cannot be ignored. But if you really want to blame the author, you must prove that there is a statistical difference of at least 5% between the number of readers who attempt suicide after reading the work and the number of readers who do not."

The larger the reader's pool, the higher the probability of individuals who may conduct antisocial activities. Say we find a crime novel on a criminal's bookshelf, do we speculate whether the book motivated the crime, or was the book so riveting that even an antisocial individual couldn't resist it?

She seemed more focused on concrete data rather than hypothetical situations.

"It's true, not everyone who reads soccer manga becomes a soccer player..."

"Yes, just like how not everyone who reads a romantic manga can find romance themselves."

She seemed to take issue with the portrayal of love in manga. I wonder what Kyouko-san's own girlhood was like.

"Of course," she continued.

"Nor can everyone who reads mystery novels become a famed detective."

Fair enough.

Even harder than reading mystery novels and becoming a murderer, it seems.

2

To accommodate Kyouko-san's request, I've suddenly had to make time during my break to go examine the scene, but if I do that it'll become completely for personal reasons. Still, I wanted to take the opportunity to get a troublesome errand out of the way—No, to say I want to 'get it out of the way' is kind of wrong, because that is not my meaning at all. This is not something to be gotten out of the way as an afterthought.

I may not be the fastest detective, but I had to settle the matter as soon as possible, as a matter of priority.

My resignation procedures.

Prev | Next

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Dangerous Romance Ep 12 (FINALE):

We're tying loose ends! I'm really excited to see my GuyNava ship sailing even if it is just one episode 😭😭😭😭 Also, Name and Saifah would probably switch places as Saifah's name will be cleared and Name will have to go to jail for (the much-deserved) shooting of Big Boss.

1. No connection to the plot whatsoever but I just realised, we never did get a ViewJune moment 😭😭😭 I thought this series would at least give us a glimpse of what is to come considering they are being paired in upcoming (much-awaited!) GMMTV GL series, 23.5. 😔😔😔

2. Kang, that gag was already sold by Pat (and bought by Pran) when the BBS production crew decided to have Pat shot and hospitalised ON CHRISTMAS EVE. Yes, I still have not forgotten nor forgiven 😂.

3. Oooh. Guy is walking without crutches! My dude, looks like your 'shooting star' is highly effective in making wishes come true. 🤭🤭🤭

4. Name, you stupid dumbass. Saifah should have just betrayed you from the get-go. I am still not above skinning you alive. 🤬

5. Ngl, I teared up with that conversation between Kang and his Dad. Also, that embrace between brothers, Sailom and Saifah 🥹🥹🥹 And then all was lost when I saw that big-assed tarpaulin welcoming Sailom back that Kang posted on the school grounds 😂😂😂😂

6. Saifah and Name. I wonder if they will ever be able to get their dream of travelling together (preferably to the US) and live the "fast and furious" life. 😔 Also 'best buds'??? BEST BUDS??? ARE WE QUEER-BAITING NOW, PAPANG?

7. Oh, look at Guy. He is playing again 😊 Nava must be proud. Also, considering they used to goad Guy into fighting them, the way Max was ready to throw hands at the player who tripped Guy in the field is just 🤌. The gangs have fully merged.

8. Dad, what are you doing outside? Why are you not sitting with the audience? 😅

9. The fvck is that? I don't remember reviewing that much material to get into uni 😂😂😂 The bulk of those review materials looked like they are studying for licensure exams or something (in my home country, majority of STEM graduates need to take an appropriate licensure exam. Otherwise, you will never be qualified to do the work that you have spent 4 to 5 years studying for. Even with internships - no licence, not qualified).

10. Max and Auto, you know there is such a thing as FaceTime, right? 😂😂😂

11. Pimfah, my spirit animal and fellow GuyNava shipper 😂😂😂

12. Really? All we get are just bits and pieces of ViewJune? We have no choice but to take it, right? I'll just imagine the lesbians will be thriving in the UK 😭😭😭😭

13. I want a MarcPawin series with a lovely, no-mess storyline (looking at you, My Gear and Your Gown. It didn't help that GMMTV also did them dirty with the time slot and the promotion of MGYG). I NEED GMMTV TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT 😭😭😭😭

14. Oh, look at that. Sailom is officially part of the family 😊

15. Okay, but why is Kang making the speech? I thought speeches are reserved for those who graduated with highest honours. 🤔🤔🤔 <after 5 seconds> Ah, of course. Sponsor's son. At least, he's more than aware and accepting now 😅

16. Really? You need to do a PSA of your dating life, Kang? WTH. 😂😂😂😂 and yes, we need the sudden (and completely unnecessary) rain to showcase the windmill umbrella. Gotta promote the merch, eh? 😅

17. Ooof. From Teacher Nubdao to P'Nubdao. We're getting close, Pimfah 😅😅😅

18. Max, you are rich enough to buy a selfie or vlogger stick. So why the ever loving fvck are you using your hand/arm to hold that phone? More importantly, why are you not equipped with the right camera for vlogging? 😅😅😅😅

19. What kind of p*rn play is this end credit scene??? 😂😂😂

Overall, I think this is an okay series. Of course, I might have been a bit misled by the trailer thinking that Sailom's family's debt forced him to sell himself (to prostitution) and Kang is gangster/mafia who comes to save him 😅, which could have perfectly explain the series title. Instead, we got minimal hints of danger all throughout the series. 😅😅 Still, I must thank this series for bringing MarcPawin back 😭😭😭 Now, to get GMMTV to have them cast as main for another BL series...😅😅😅

[autistic-sidestep]

yay further sura cane ramblings as a followup from this and this

so my logic is that the fall Did fuck sidestep's body up and presumably the farm's intent was to fix them up enough to be a Functional asset once wiped/reset (as far as pain's concerned and the lack of pain-gate either from being broken by the fall, or being removed, as long as it doesn't interfere with function). this was before they realised step was resisting the reset and an absurdly strong telepath to boot. so maybe there was some stuff that didn't end up happening.

anyway. sura's second escape from the farm. in a hell of a lot of pain from fucked up nerves (particularly lower back) and other things that didn't heal quite right (very much missing having a pain-gate), plus balance issues and fatigue. suddenly sura's seeing things Very differently now they're not abled + noticing a lot of people don't like looking at others with mobility aids, and maybe being useful camo. sura doesn't much Like the idea of being pitied and seen as weak, but making it easier to just be able to get through the day is worth it.

so. sura steals a nondescript folding cane from a small pharmacy (who cares, there's like, a million of em). and wow! it's not just camo, it helps with the exhaustion! great! she can even put it away when it gets inconvenient.

this also means he overcompensates the first few times learning the ropes as juno cos 1, the almost entire foot height difference and 2, reflexively moving as though putting weight on a non-existent walking aid = lotta bruises

(yes, the argos suit is kinda a mobility aid if we're being generous with definitions.)

except sura just grabbing any old cane w/o checking means they don't realize it's too tall for her for THREE. YEARS. and that causes a lot of unnecessary shoulder/upper back/wrist pain.

chen points it out during one of the early hq visits in retri while helping out, suggests to get a shorter one and maybe with offset handles. (maybe he's known a few ex-military people using canes? i feel he'd run in enough circles like that to have some passing knowledge.) and sura just. seething when they begrudgingly take up his advice and find it IS actually helping. cos chen was right and it doesn't want to admit that lmao.

at least chen has the decency not to dwell too long on it when he notices the change in canes. but he is a little smug. (it's fine. she can retaliate with useful suggestions about the new shoulder joint mod.)

but anyway, sura starts customizing the canes by painting/engraving designs on them for a little personalised touch. tech savviness comes in handy! and then there's a variety to match outfits (it counts as an accessory!) + one or two inspired by this one i saw (look at it. LOOK HOW COOL IT IS.) that that May or may not have some plausible deniability about resembling the argos suit's stained glass look lol.

(chen, narrowing his eyes, with a little "set steel_clue + 10" pop-up.)

the ones with offset and orthopedic handles for the more heavy duty days (maybe even branching out into crutches, since those give more support, though those would have to be customized) + derby handle for when they want to be more discreet. the mob crew might even pool some of their earnings to buy something resembling a makhila as a present further down the line :D

they also have two styles of cane holster, one from the belt, and the other on the thigh like what they used for the energy-caster as sidestep.

(on the viability of canes as self-defense, it's hit or miss on how good they actually are; what's good for mobility and weight distribution isn't ideal for defense - trying to hybridize the design means you get something that's not really useful in either direction. ie. telescopic stuff is convenient for folding away, but doesn't have much structural integrity if you tried swinging it at someone. same goes for folding canes w/ the bungee cord inside. idk what the capabilities in fh verse's are for materials but i'm erring on the side of caution and saying sura doesn't rely on their canes as a main defensive weapon. there's telepathy for that. they've been working out more anyway what with being argos and training daniel, so some of their pain symptoms improve a bit too! just making sure not to overdo it.)

something abt growing into not being ashamed of needing mobility aids (in fact, being empowering) and that being a sign of growth. absolute power move rocking up the hg meeting with a cane and 120 hgrep like "so? what you gonna do about it"

(too bad they immediately get bodied by a truck after leaving parkfield tho. whoops.)

[orangesunsets12]

Letters for the Lonely and Broken (part 3)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 2.5 // Part 3 below // Part 4

A03 Link

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Steve,

I’m writing this after realizing that you didn’t give me a return address on your previous letter. I was mad at first, but now I feel like I understand you even more now. I don’t know if you can’t receive letters because of the army and all, or if you’re not ready yet. If it’s the last option, I get it. 

It’s been months since I woke up from my coma. Everyone tells me that they’re there for me, that I can talk to them, that they’re always around to support me. Yet, some sick part of me tells me that I don’t deserve it. I know that might be Vecna’s voice still ringing in my head, asking me if I was ready to die, making me face the guilt that I had buried for so long…but does it really matter? I don’t feel ready to talk to anyone, to accept help, and now I’m thinking that you might feel the same way, too. So, I really don’t blame you.

My mom suggested that I still write to you, as a therapy for me, I guess, and I thought that I would give it a go. So…yeah. 

She’s been doing better. Mom’s stopped drinking for the most part, she’s home more often, and she’s started to cook again. It feels weird getting a home cooked meal from her again, most of the time I ate microwave meals or your food when you would invite me over.

You’re a really good cook. Have I ever told you that? I know that you probably can’t cook in the army, but if you could you would shock all of your army buddies, buddies that I’m sure that you have now. 

Anyways, I am getting better, I think. I’m still struggling to walk for long periods of time and use my arms, but I can hold things really well now. Lucas has been trying to get me to play DnD again, saying that all I really need to use are my fingers, but I don’t think that I ever will. It’s not really my thing, you know? I’d much rather hang out with El. 

Did you happen to see her, before you left? Well, she’s back. Her hair was shaved again, but it looks pretty cool. I know that you would agree with me, you never had anything negative to say about her. About any of us, usually. You did do love teasing us, but we all know that you don’t mean it. You’re like a brother like that, all bark, no bite…it’s nice. 

I’m going back to school in the fall. I’m a bit scared, if I’m being honest. I’m scared at how people will treat me when I’m using my crutches, and will word get out that I was nearly one of the victims of the murders? 

I just have so many worries, so many questions, no answers.

I try to think about what you would say, if I told you this right to your face. You would probably say something stereotypical like “take it one day at a time” or “I believe in you.” Stereotypical as it is, it means a lot. When I walk with my crutches into that school on the first day, I’ll try and remember what you would say. You’ve always been able to help me, so I don’t see any reason that you couldn’t help me then. 

Again, I hope that you’re doing okay. I can imagine that being in the army can be rough, but I know that you’ll do well. You’ve always been so good at saving strangers, I can’t imagine the amazing help you’re going to be to others. You’re a hero, Steve. Don’t let anyone tell yourself otherwise, including yourself. 

Until next time,

Max</em>

------------------------------------------

Steve’s second letter arrived at her trailer three weeks after the first day of school. Max didn’t hesitate to grab it as she hobbled up the stairs to her trailer. She rushed to her room as soon as she had the letter in her grasp, flopping down onto her bed and opening it carefully, wanting to read it as soon as she could but not wanting to damage the paper. 

She smiled when the words <em>Dear Max</em> entered her vision, and she began reading eagerly. 

Dear Max,

I’m writing this to you while I’m on my way to the first war I’m going to face. I guess it’s a war, no one’s really told me what the difference is between “war” and “series of battles”.  I won’t get into the details of it, but it reminds me of when we were all riding in the Winnebago, when we were driving to the Creel house, ready to set the plan in motion. I remember the uneasy tension that I felt, the silence, the eagerness to go and get it over with yet the desire to stay…and now I sort of feel the same way. There’s just that…waiting. Waiting for the battle, waiting for the impending doom that lurked around the corner, waiting for the death that may come. 

But, right now? I don’t feel like I’m going to die. I think that I’ll make it. Years of fighting monsters has prepared me for this, I guess. 

That’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you about; the fighting. I feel like I can’t stop. After the junkyard and the monsters we faced there, I couldn’t stop waiting for another fight. I had my bat in my hand nearly every night, waiting for the snarls, the signs that I would be back up and swinging again. Even after our adventures with the Creels, I just couldn’t stop waiting for a fight. I think that I’m so used to fighting that life without it seems…impossible. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.

I feel like that peace is impossible now. That’s how I know that something’s probably wrong with me. Hopefully it’ll get fixed, but I really don’t know how it will be. 

I just hope that everyone at home, in Hawkins, including you, can finally take a break from the fighting. You deserve a break. You deserve to live your life to the fullest, go to college, find your soulmate, platonic or not (and, if I can be honest, I think Lucas might be yours), get married…live your life in peace. Without worrying about the next monster, the next fight, the next battle that may come. 

I don’t know when I’ll get to be in that place, or if I ever will. But a part of me feels like I’ll like that peace along with you, even if I’m not there. Is that silly? Maybe it is, but it’s just how I feel. 

Oh, did you know that they cut my hair? Now it looks super weird, short at the sides, a bit longer at the top…I don’t think that I’ll ever get used to it. I’m still pretty upset about that, but I guess that it’ll grow back. But, now I have more muscle, so maybe it’s an equal exchange? My hair for more muscles?

We both know I can’t fool you. I’m devastated by this. I’ll move on from it, though. I always do. 

I hope that you’ll get a chance to read this, Max. Good luck with your future, I hope that I’ll be able to write to you again soon.

From, 

Steve

Max didn’t even know she was crying until she pulled her eyes away from the letter, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. She couldn’t help but smile, happy to hear from him, for him to tell her jokes even from so far away. Yet, she was still scared for him. War was a big deal, would he even make it to the next day? Would she ever see him again?

As she thought this, she noticed a small piece of paper hiding in the envelope. She picked it up, letting out a surprised burst of laughter, relief flooding her whole body like a breath of fresh air. 

I made it out alive, just thought that I would let you know. it read, followed by a quick smiley face, so random but meaning so much. Max knew that he knew that she would be worried about him, and that in itself was enough to make her smile once again. 

She read the letter again, reading about his confused feelings, his worries, and she hoped that he would get better. Steve sounded like he was really struggling, and it hurt her to know that she couldn’t really help him. 

“Stay strong for me, Steve.” She whispered, closing her eyes and clutching the letter tightly, “Please stay strong.”

Part 4

[devouredead]

This is a question from @crippled-lavender 's cripple ask game! 10.] what is something you want other people to know about your physical disability/disabilities? You can't tell if someone is disabled, even physically disabled, just by looking. Lots of people, because strangers usually decide on or two features to judge you by, will not notice my deformed bones until they're in their face, like slow acting body horror.

I use a wheelchair about half the time. Twenty five percent is canes or crutches, and the rest is unassisted. Truthfully, it's not because I don't need it, but even if it's extremely painful or will make my situation worse later, I'll walk unassisted to 'be quick' especially for others, or avoid unwanted attention or ableism that I just can't take any more of that day. I still often limp, hop, or lean. My deformities are permanent and don't disappear. But as a society with no mobility aid, even though I am still visible in suffering, struggling, and beong physically different, many people suddenly decide I'm abled, or 'invisibly disabled.' It's not invisible, moron, it's just not presenting in a way you find familiar or acceptable and you are unwilling to see it. Just because I'm not using a mobility aid right then also doesn't mean 'I'm better.' What it sometimes means: 1) I was late to work and am so used to being in pain that I forgot my cane at home. I'll hop, limp, lean, sit, swear, and use carts as walkers all day. 2) I didn't want anyone (those specific coworkers/employees, etc) staring and judging me today so limping, sitting, not using the restroom at all, not moving for breaks, using carts as walkers is somehow less embarrassing because they don't take it out on me then. 3) I didn't want an unsolicited 'is he cripple enough/the right way' evaluation from a stranger today, any stanger, abled or disabled, because you better believe I've had some shitty disabled people interactions. 4) I felt bad asking my assist to move my cheap, heavy wheelchair to and from our tiny backseat for this trip to the grocery store, so I'll go for the car ride but stay in the car. No, it doesn't matter we are now going to stop for food, other things, etc. I can't leave the car. 5) I didn't want a friend or relative to leave me behind in a store again ('it'll just be quicker!') One of my diseases is autoimmune arthritis. I've given up telling people what it is by name and instead describe it. I then get an appropriate 'that's awful' (it is, really is) or 'ow, that's brutal' (yes, you got it) instead of getting it dismissed as 'aches and pains' that 'everyone has.' It shouldn't have to be said, but my style-my haircut, my clothes, my shoes-don't magically make me not disabled. Being goth doesn't magically make me invulnerable to illness or mean I'm looking for attention by coopting a medical device. Believe it or not, as of 2023, some people have enough independent personality to choose their own clothes and be disabled at the same time! I actually don't talk about disability 24/7. You just hear it a lot because the world is not fucking accessible. I'll never not be crippled. Even if they cured my diseases tomorrow, I have permanent deformities from them. Me not using an aid is just... me not using an aid, for better or worse. It doesn't even mean it's a good day. This has helped me not judge people as harshly as I might have once, and that's good. It hurts even worse though when people assume I don't need accessibility or am not disabled, though. Disclaimer: I never have gotten asks (that haven't been personal attacks) so I just enjoy answering the questions. Please keep in mind the original post specifies that crippled (physically disabled only) are invited to use the specific questions.

[jayspaceinc]

15 lines of dialogue: Max 🛠️

[last one!! For now 🥸]

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

1. “If you wanted to see me tied up, all you had to do was ask. Just face it, you're never gonna be able to really trap me. I’m always one step ahead. But it is so adorable how you keep trying honestly. You sweet little dickhead.” He pinched Greyson’s cheeks and ruffled his bedhead.

2. He stepped out of the bathroom where Max had been waiting. “I need you to see something.”

“Aren’t we past dick size comparisons at this age?”

3. “I mean it. You’ve got one more time.”

“What are you gonna do? Burn me? We’re online. Punch me? Okay, I’m used to that.”

“I still have the capability to choke you. You might not die but you’ll feel it.”

“Jokes on you. I like being choked.”

4. “Well now I have to know: what position do you play? Batter or catcher?” Celia's curious mind now fully interested as she leaned across the table.

“Both? You know how baseball teams switch sides after 3 outs right? It’s kind of the same scenario here.”

“Okay well which do you prefer?”

“Batter obviously. I’m not that kind of gay. No offence, Ayden.”

“I’m a top, asshole.”

“Really? Sorry you do not look—“

5. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Grey blurted a bit louder than he intended as the two caught a few stray glances.

“Language. We’re in public, sweetheart.”

6. “You really love playing hero.”

“I don’t have to play hero when I am one,” He gave a tired smile and pecked her cheek.

7. “Must you cause trouble everywhere you go?” Summer sighed, already seeing where this was headed.

“Of course, trouble’s my middle name.” Max, now back to his normal self, pecked her on the lips and followed Grey out.

8. “That is so rough, dude. You fucked her so bad she turned lesbian.”

9. Grey took the phone from her hands and dialed his mom's number but not actually having it in him to hit call. “I’m sure there are other forms of team building we could do.”

Max got up and hit the call button for him, “Too late, the phone's ringing.”

10. “A stressed and exhausted leader can’t lead and you look like an addict going through withdrawal,” He covered his mouth in disbelief that he had just said that. “That came out wrong. What I meant is you look tired and skinny! Not that there’s anything wrong with being skinny. Or an addict! I’m very pro-addict. Well, I’m not pro addict, you know? But like, your body, your choice and stuff. I’m going to stop talking now.” He fumbled over his words, stuttering and throwing filler words into the void as he tried to backtrack on his horrible phrasing from nearly a moment ago.

11. "Hey, customers don't have access to this area."

"Oh, really? Sorry we were just--"

Max tased the attendant in the side of the neck and kept walking down the steps as they were temporarily down.

"Max, why did you--"

"They'll be fine. Let's keep going."

12. “You dumped a bowl of punch on a girl!”

“Awe come on, I didn’t even mean it that way.”

“How did you mean it then?”

“Like when you finish a good game! Buen partido! Buen partido!” He shook his hands in the air as if he was thanking the crowd for his victory. He mocked the imaginary crowd goers that praised him for this win and his forever handsome looks.

13. “So what, we’re gonna sit in a circle and play a children’s guessing game?” Max queried.

14. “It just makes you feel so insignificant, doesn’t it?” Max asked after they had sat in silence for a long while.

“Hm?”

“All of these stars. All the planets. Knowing there could be anybody out there. And we’re all just.. living. On a grand scale, we’re specks. No one cares about the fluff of a dandelion right? It’s just..” he blew into his hand and let it wiggle in the air to simulate the fluff floating away. “Gone with the wind.”

15. Max set his crutches against the counter and wrapped his arms around Greyson, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Whatcha doing?” He grinned, happy his friend was awake again to mess with.

“I would push you off but your leg is broken. Lucky you.” Greyson sighed, already fed up with his antics. “I’m cooking. I was hungry and there’s plenty of food in here to make something.”

“Did you make enough for me too?”

[random-genshin-things]

Savior (Childe x Medic Reader) Ch 4

Link to Ch 3

Link to Ch 1

.

The trip back to Mondstadt was relatively easy. Cyrus and Iris had insisted your team take the supply wagon at the base camp and ride back to Mondstadt. Originally you had felt a little guilty to be taking their wagon, but since you couldn't walk and your team needed to bring back an unconscious man, your slight protests had been swiftly laid to rest.

Fortunately, your patient seemed to improve with the change in weather and altitude. While still unconscious, you were able to change his bandages with help and give him better medicine to treat his fever. He was even starting to regain a normal colour in his cheeks. You were almost hoping he might awaken on your trip back but that was not the case.

You had resigned yourself to the idea that it was probably best that he hadn't awoken. If he had, then he probably would have been subjected to questioning from your teammates. And if your suspicions were correct, they would be furious when they found out that he was a Harbinger. Yes it was for the best that he slept through the trip and had no recollection of who you were.

Once you had arrived at the gates of Mondstadt, your team was stopped by a knight.

"Welcome to Mondstadt, travelers. How can I help you?" Jean-Pierre was the first to approach the knight as he spoke.

"Hello. My name is Jean-Pierre. We are a research team from the Sumeru Akademiya. One of my team members was injured on Dragonspine and we also found an unconscious man. Where is the best place to seek medical attention?" The cart you were on stopped in front of the gates as Jean-Pierre spoke.

"That would be the Favonius Cathedral at the tallest point in Mondstadt. Just ask for Barbara." The knight gestured through the city center towards the spires in the distance. You let out a groan just looking at the trek you were going to have to make.

Unfortunately for you and your team, there are an inordinate amount of stairs to climb to get to the Favonius Cathedral. You had to use Jean-Pierre as a crutch while Monika and the knight, who's name you learnt was Lawrence, carried the still unconscious ginger man.

"How much longer?" Monika looked like she was about ready to drop him. And her tone was hinting at mild annoyance.

"It's the building just up ahead, ya know behind the giant statue of Lord Barbatos." Monika shot you a sharp glare at your words.

"It was your idea to save him, but I've had to carry him up over two hundred stairs!" Monika huffed in response. Maybe your sarcastic retorts should wait for another time.

As you entered the Cathedral, you were greeted by a short blonde. Her wavy hair was pulled back into twintails on either side of her head. She wore a pristine ivory dress with a matching cap. On her left hip rested a catalyst and hydro vision. It was clear from her uniform that she must be a nun and hopefully the deaconess.

She spoke in a soft voice as she addressed you, "Oh dear. What happened here?"

You held her concerned gaze as you replied. "We were caught in an avalanche on Dragonspine. I'm a doctor from the Sumeru Akademiya, so I was able to administer some aid, but my wrist is broken."

"Oh dear! Here let's get you both to a bed!" The blonde, who introduced herself as the cathedral's deaconess Barbara, helped you to a bed in the back.

You insisted that she look at your companion first. He definitely needs more care than you would and you wanted to make sure that he was stable before worrying about yourself. Once Barbra was able to bring down his fever completely using her vision, she turned to you.

"As you thought, I believe your wrist is broken but luckily your ankle is only sprained. I should be able to treat it and have you walking again soon." Barbara assesses your injuries and begins setting to work on healing them.

Jean-Pierre, who had insisted on staying with you despite your protests that he go with Monika to Good Hunter, now spoke up. "Does that mean we will be able to leave tonight? We were already supposed to have left for our trip back to Sumeru."

"Once I've finished treating her ankle, she should be able to walk." At Barbara's response, you turned to Jean-Pierre.

"Why don't you go tell Monika the good news." You needed to get him out of here so that you could talk to Barbara about your new Fatui Harbinger friend.

Jean-Pierre seemed reluctant. "Are you sure? You don't need me to stay with you?" Jean-Pierre's reply doesn't surprise you. He's always seemed like a worrier and he's usually especially concerned about your safety. You smile softly at him and give his hand a squeeze.

"I'll be fine Pierre. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here when you and Monika get back." With that final push, Jean-Pierre nodded to you and left the cathedral to find Monika. Now you could discuss what you really need to with Barbara.

"Excuse me, Barbara. Would there be a way to send a message to the Goth Grand Hotel? I have reason to believe that the man I brought back is a Fatui Harbinger. But my team members cannot know that. So is there a way to notify someone to come get him after we leave?" You try to seem as calm and collected as possible but you're really hoping Barbara gets the idea that your teammates must be kept in the dark about this man's identity.

Barbara looked between you and the man lying in the bed. "Y-yes I can send a message, but I believe I'll need to inform Acting Grandmaster Jean."

"Of course. Thank you." You let out a sigh.

Barbara treats your injuries in silence. Once she is finished, she leaves to inform the Knights of Favonius and the Acting Grandmaster that there was an unconscious Fatui Harbinger in the cathedral.

You decided it was time to say goodbye to the man who's name you would never learn. He was sleeping peacefully now and his skin had returned to a natural colour. You placed your uninjured hand to his forehead to check his temperature one final time, and were pleased to find his fever had completely dissipated. He was going to be alright and you could breathe a sigh of relief that your patient was going to make it. As you removed your hand, he reached out and caught your wrist in his grip.

"Y/N..... don't... go...." He was still in a deep sleep and you knew he couldn't hear you but you still replied.

"I'm sorry. I have to go now. But you'll be okay, you're safe." You reached your other hand out to slightly brush his soft bangs. You could hear his breathing, slow and steady, as his grip on your wrist lessened before his hand fell back to his chest.

"Goodbye."

Jean-Pierre soon returned with Monika and you all began your trek back to Sumeru leaving Mondstadt and the mystery Harbinger behind.

.........

Beams of light streamed into the Favonius Cathedral in Mondstadt, shining directly onto the face of the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui. Tartaglia clenched his eyes before slowly opening them to be greeted by the high arches of the gothic cathedral. The sunlight that streamed in graced the walls in a soft celestial glow and caught the swirls of dust rising and falling in the air.

"It took you long enough to wake." A sharp voice rang through the hollowed arches of the cathedral breaking the tranquility of the space.

He knew that voice. It was the condescending tone of his fellow harbinger La Signora. Tartaglia sat up slowly, and felt dull pain in his abdomen.

Right. He'd receive a hit in a sparring match. He takes his time to make sense of his surroundings. This most certainly wasn't Dragonspine, where he had been leading a squad in investigating the strange environment. Not something that he would normally handle, but the other harbingers had their hands tied. He had been at the base camp when the avalanche happened.

Wait. He'd been buried in an avalanche.

That's when she saved him. Tartaglia could only vaguely recall the soft voice and gentle hands that had treated him so kindly.

"When the Acting Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius approached me to inform me that one of my fellow Harbingers was unconscious in the Favonius Cathedral, I almost laughed at her. What are you doing here?" La Signora's voice was tinged with disdain as she sat in a chair next to Tartaglia's bedside. Her legs were gracefully crossed one over the other and her arms crossed over her chest. She sat with the air of royalty, only the fingers on her left hand tapping against her arm betrayed her annoyance in her countenance.

Tartaglia was lost in thought, his mind consumed with trying to recall everything he could remember from the days he spent ill.

She must have brought him here. His savior.

"The deaconess said you were running a fever as a result of an infected wound. Had it not been treated by the doctor that brought you back to Mondstadt, you might have died. As it turns out, the doctor was also the one who identified that you are a Harbinger." La Signora's tone betrayed very little but Tartaglia had worked with her long enough to tell that she was not happy.

However Tartaglia didn't respond, he didn't even acknowledge that he'd heard her at all. His thoughts ran rampant.

She knew he was a harbinger? And she still helped him?

Tartaglia knew how most people outside of Snezhnaya felt about the Fatui, let alone a Harbinger. But that hasn't stopped his savior. She hadn't cared. She saved him anyway. Tartaglia finally looked up and acknowledged his fellow Harbinger. Only to ask a single question.

"So where is she?" Tartaglia was ready to run to her side, to pick her up and spin her around while offering his sincerest thanks.

La Signora's brow rose in slight confusion. "Who?"

"My savior." Tartaglia let a grin break out over his face at the thought of seeing her again, for real this time.

La Signora chuckled. "Do you mean the doctor? She's already left to return to Sumeru."

Tartaglia's grin slowly fell.

She had left? Why?

Tartaglia racked his brain for what he could remember from his hazy semi-conscious state.

“I'm sorry. I have to go now. But you'll be okay, you're safe.”

That's right she was forced to leave. But why?

“I'm a doctor from the Sumeru Akademiya.”

The Akademiya. She had to return to the Sumeru Akademiya. Tartaglia wanted to curse his luck. If he had only woken up earlier he'd be able to speak with the wonderful soul that saved his life. The bold woman who didn't fear his status as a Harbinger and found the kindness to help him in his time of great need. Tartaglia resolved not to let this be the end. If she couldn't stay here with him, he'd just have to go find her. Tartaglia gave La Signora another of his boyish grins.

"Guess I'll just have to go find her then."

……

.

Link to Ch 5

[authenticmiya]

Nobody’s Fault - Johnny Lawrence x Reader

Summary - Part three to Lose My Job. After a traumatising month of slow recovery, reader is finally discharged from the hospital. However, the drama doesn’t just stop not that’s she’s on the mend. (Part 1 here) (Part 2 here)

Words - 1.4k

Warnings - fluff/angst

A/N - Would you guys wanna see a part four to this? Don’t hesitate to request and message me! Thankyou for your support!

"Good evening Miss Y/L/N, we're local police officers who are working together about the case at the school." One of them said to you. 

"We understand right now probably isn't the best of times to have this conversation with you, but in order for this whole investigation to move forward, we need to confirm something." The other one said. 

"And what exactly would that be?" You questioned. 

"Considering you were pushed off of the balcony-" They began and you were very quick to stop them from talking.

"I don't know what kind of police officers you are but if I was purposely pushed off of that damn balcony, don't you think you would've sent the kids to Juvie by now?" The officers looked at each-other with defeated faces. 

"That's what were here for Miss. It is your decision to send the two responsible for you injuries, to Juvie." You couldn't quite believe what you were hearing. 

"I'm not pressing charges and the kid's aren't going anywhere. I chose to get involved, I tried to handle it and it didn't work, that's nobody's fault." You told them.

"Thank-you for your time, it looks like you two are off the hook for now. I can't say the same about those Karate Dojo's that are in competition with each-other." They told Miguel and Robby before they left. 

"Now let me see my students, well try and see." You joked. 

It had now been a total of a month in the hospital, and you'd now found yourself without a brace and able to sit up. 

"I'm sorry Y/N." Johnny apologized suddenly. You looked over at him confused. 

"What are you apologizing for?" 

"That argument we had before all of this happened. If I had just said things differently, maybe you wouldn't have ended up in this place." Johnny sighed and you reached over to grab his hand. 

"I pray you haven't been blaming that stupid bicker for everything that's happened. It's done with. I'm sorry to, I ruined the walls when I threw your beer." You chuckled.

"Don't worry, your handyman eventually got around to fixing it." He smirked and you rolled your eyes. 

"What's going on in that head of yours Johnny? What happened to every hour being spent in the Dojo?" Johnny let out a sigh, knowing he was probably going to get an earful. 

"I gave up Cobra Kai Y/N, Kreese took over." If it was possible for eyes to naturally fall out of your eyes, they would've been on the floor by now. 

"You did what?" You gasped. 

"You're getting discharged today, I will spare you the details until we are home." Johnny told you. 

"No we won't sweet-heart, what the hell has he done to you now?" You pushed the conversation. 

"If I told you he was the the main reason that the school fight happened, would that be enough questioning me until later?" He asked you. 

"That slimy asshole just couldn't leave you alone, could he? After everything he'd done to you back in high-school, I ought to smack the shit out of him." You snapped. Johnny couldn't hide the smile that came to his face. Nobody he'd ever been with, had cared about him as much as you did.

"We'll save that for another time." Johnny chuckled, even-though it hurt him to think of the bad memories he had with his old sensei. 

As the time went by, the doctors had finally given you the all clear to return home. That was of course before they had told you, you had to be in a wheel-chair, as well as have crutches to help with walking again. 

"I feel like I haven't been home in a lifetime." You admitted to Johnny as he wheeled you in the direction of your apartment. 

"Well I'm glad I can finally have you back." Johnny opened the front door and there was a huge Welcome Home sign in the living room.

"You are the best, didn't really think you were into doing cute things." You sassed and he bent down, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. 

"Don't go ruining my badass reputation babe. Welcome home." He kissed your cheek, making you smile. 

"I've got to say, it's not as messy as what I was expecting." You joked and he rolled his eyes playfully at you. 

"Only the best for you." He chuckled. 

"Welcome home Y/N." Robby suddenly appeared, exiting from the bathroom door. 

"How long was he in there?" You looked at Johnny with concerned eyes. 

"Probably the best part of half an hour." Johnny admitted, making you and Robby laugh. 

"It's good to see you here Robby." He reached down and hugged you, but that still didn't stop the look of confusion on your face. 

"Do you not want me here? Is it too much for someone who has just come out of the hospital?" Robby panicked. 

"Be quiet Rob, I'm just really happy that you're here. What exactly have you two been planning huh?" They both smiled at each-other, and your heart literally exploded. 

"When you were first in the hospital, I took everything out on him. You told Robby that you wanted us to get a long, so we tried. But, it took us some time to realise, that we shouldn't just be doing this because it would make you feel happy, but we should be doing this for our own good." Johnny told you, and you felt the urge to cry. 

"There's no way Johnny fucking Lawrence just openly said that to me." You couldn't even hide how stoked you were. 

"Why are you so shocked about me being the good guy in situations?" Johnny teased. 

"Maybe this is what we needed all a long. That doesn't mean you never have to speak to your mom again okay Robby? I get she made a load of mistakes however, she's still your mom, and I know her and I haven't had the best of relationships, but I guess I'm willing to work on that as well." This was for sure going to be a family moment you were never going to forget. 

The three of you eventually ordered take-out, spending a peaceful evening together for once. 

"So Robby, tell me, what teacher has replaced me for the time being?" You asked, sipping on an ice-cold Coors Banquet. Robby frowned and Johnny let out a sigh. 

"Y/N, they might have permanently given your job over." Johnny told you and you nearly choked on your drink. 

"Well they might also see me in the reception area tomorrow morning, demanding an explanation."  The annoyance in your voice was obvious. 

"They said something about you not being able to come in for a long time while you recover and that by the time you could've come back, we would have nearly finished school for the year." Robby told you, but he should've known all to well that you weren't giving up that easily. 

"I know it's been a month, but I'm not giving up on my kids that easily." You told him. 

"I think you should take it easy Y/N." Johnny put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. 

"I swore I'd never give up on them. I didn't train for all of these years, to be in the position that I am in now, to just lose it over one school fight. Not happening." Robby smiled at you. He was so appreciative and grateful that his dad had actually found someone who was determined. Someone who made the right life choices, but clarified when they had made a mistake. 

"It's Linda." Robby told you and your mouth fell agape as Johnny laughed. 

"She has no qualifications in teaching, she's the receptionist." You groaned, and both Robby and Johnny knew, there was no way you were giving up that easily. 

The night slowly drew to a close, and Robby was reassured that he could stay in the guest room.

"I have missed this bed so much." You grinned as Johnny gracefully lifted you onto it. 

"It's been awfully cold without you." Johnny got in beside you and draped an arm over your waist. Placing a long awaited kiss to your lips, you finally felt like you were home. 

"I'm going to do everything I can to get you walking again." He thought, looking at how you still stayed beautiful, even after all of the trauma. He promised he was going to help you, and that's exactly what he was going to do.

[lupismaris]

Blackberry Crepes- silverflintham black sails modern au ficlet

(i saw a few posts about how love is sharing food and making breakfast for your loved ones and lets just say this is part 1 of a series in which Flint cooks for his loved ones when saying i love you might not be enough)

Sleep was something of a stranger to Silver. He liked to joke that he didn’t need it, that he could just cat nap for half an hour here and there, and be good for a few days, that he was just built different, the perks of life on the run and never having a real routine. But in truth he’d push himself until his body gave out and he slept for 18 hours and woke up feeling like death warmed over. That was the only way he’d be able to get any real sleep. Pushing himself to the point of exhaustion, or, as he had eventually learned with Flint and Thomas, getting well and truly laid until his brain shut off and his body felt like lead.   He preferred the latter, of course, but it still wasn’t something he felt he could readily ask for. Especially when it wasn’t enough to keep his mind quiet. Dreams, nightmares, they’re funny things. You can think you’re too tired to dream and then on your way into an REM cycle you get blind sided by the most vivid night terror you’ve had in the past three months. You could be napping on the couch when the phantom limb starts acting up and your mind conjures memories of when you lost it or just vague ideas of what life would be like if you hadn’t and you wake up unable to tell which is worse. You could be strung out and coming down from an orgasmic high and then feel your stomach drop when you finally fall asleep and your mind tells you it isn’t safe, jolting you violently back to consciousness. Or you could be dozing in the early morning hours, the way Silver had been, after a good night, a genuinely good night, and find yourself halfway between deep sleep and waking, faced with fears you’d buried so far deep you hoped they’d suffocate. They’d gone to dinner, on a date even. Flint and Thomas had made a point to be home and get dressed up and take him out on the town and pay complete attention to him, like he was just a normal lover and not, well, himself. It was still an adjustment for him, this idea that he could just have this, a normal relationship with men who actually wanted him, where using each other wasn’t part of it, where the end game wasn’t someone’s bank account or an act of violence, where there wasn’t even an end game to consider. By the end of July the charms of summer had started to wear thin, even for Silver, and he was tired of the heat and the mirror like cage of the city, he was tired of the long days and the long conversations and the longer shadows on the blistering asphalt. He was tired of the haze that made his mind question what was and wasn’t real, despite knowing what was. It left him on edge and he knew Flint could tell, no matter how hard he worked to hide it. If Thomas knew, he was at least polite enough not to give it away. Dinner had been lovely. A little Spanish place by the promenade, followed by a short walk since the evening was cooler than expected and a breeze of the Hudson meant it was almost blissful. There had been wine and Flint’s homemade limoncello tarts when they got home and endless lazy kisses and one of them always touching him as if trying to keep him tethered. There had been sex, great sex, not that Silver had ever had bad sex with the pair of them (the smug rotten bastards), but the kind where Silver had been able to let go and drown in it for a while, let someone else carry the load, and do the thinking for a while. It still hadn’t been enough.

Silver sighed, a cloud of smoke curling around his face as he watched the rooftops shift and glimmer in the faded teal skies of four am, his second cigarette of the hour dangling somewhat carelessly from his fingers. He had tried, valiantly he felt, to stay in bed with Flint and Thomas, to sleep curled up with them the way Flint always hoped he would after sex. Some nights it worked and he’d wake up when Flint went for his blasphemous morning run. Most nights though he’d wait until Thomas was out cold and snoring like a bear, then kiss Flint goodnight, and slip back to his room next door. He’d fallen asleep tucked into Flint’s chest, with Flint’s arm around him and the deep rumble of his breathing filling his ears. Thomas was spooned up behind Flint, clinging to his husband like a child and snoring loudly, but that too was somehow comforting. He was safe, he was loved, he was home. And suddenly the next thing Silver knew he was choking on nothing and fighting the air, sitting bolt upright in bed with a wordless, noiseless scream of fear. The only saving grace was that it didn’t wake the others, Thomas still sound asleep and curled up under the covers, Flint spooned up behind him, years younger in sleep, a different man. Silver had sat there shaking for some time, half an hour, five minutes, he couldn’t be sure. Once he could breathe without wheezing and his hands had stopped shaking violently, he steadied himself and slipped out of bed, grabbing his crutch from where it rested dutifully against the nightstand. There wasn’t much he was good at in life, but John Silver had always been good at running. This wasn’t any different. Now, he was wrapped in an old blanket, hidden away on the roof where he’d been putting together his own little makeshift garden. Plants that he’d found half dead or dying on the curb, abandoned succulents from friends, houseplants he found on discount at the hardware store that he’d barter down to a dollar. He liked the distance heights gave him, always had, was always climbing things as a kid to try and get a better view, try to hide away from prying eyes. It was harder now that he had the prosthetic, but the elevator could take him up to the loft, and the stairs to the roof weren’t too steep, so he could manage them with his crutch. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the little patch of green paradise that Flint and Thomas had nurtured down below, he loved it and the time they spent there. But this- this little scrap of roof top, with it’s homemade shelves of plywood and resurrected plants, was his. Silver took another drag from his cigarette and watched a flock of pigeons shift their course in flight, heading west towards Manhattan where the morning crowds were no doubt slowly beginning to stir. Even on Saturdays, the city got a bright and early start if it ever truly decided to rest. He could hear tidbits of conversation from his perch, voices carried up to him like secrets as their owners walked past, heading home from work, from a night out, leaving home to go to work, whatever their little lives demanded, existing in spite of themselves, for themselves. Cars hummed past, cabbies and uber drivers trying to catch the last of the club goers as they left the bars in search of a trip home, picking up the true early bird tourists as they tried to beat the others to some absurd event or another. He could even hear music, someone’s window open on their block he thought, and the faint repetitive sound of a piano as they worked through their scales. Maybe he wasn’t the only one having trouble sleeping. The neighborhood would be well and truly awake soon. The running group would be on the corner waiting for the stragglers, hitting the asphalt by five am. The store fronts and bodegas would start opening up around six, the bars by eight if they served brunch, and the world would come to life at Silver’s feet. He had until then to quiet the noise in his head and remember how to put his mask back on. The sound of the door nearly gave him a heart attack. He thought for a moment that maybe, if he kept still, he’d go unnoticed, they the sparse shelves and plants and the blanket might hide him well enough that Flint, because it was always Flint, would go back down stairs and go for his morning run and leave him well enough alone. But he knew better. “Do I want to know how long you’ve been up here?” came the sleep heavy rumble of a voice. “Depends on whether you want to be disappointed this early in the morning,” Silver replied dryly. And there it was, the telltale sigh of disappointment, because Flint was going to be disappointed no matter what answer he got. “Silver-” “I don’t want to do this right now.” “Do what?” Silver sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He heard Flint move across the roof, the soft footsteps of bare feet on the weatherproof matting slow and well chosen, stopping next to him. “This thing you do where you try and bully answers out of me. I don’t fucking feel up to these games, alright? I just- I don’t,” Silver said, risking a look upwards. Flint was shirtless, as he always was when fresh out of bed, but he’d pulled on a pair of old sweatpants before going to look for Silver. He’d left his hair loose, the rich copper strands hanging in a curtain around the left side of his face, the shaved under cut peaking out along the right. Silver could still see the pillow prints on his cheek, and his beard was disgruntled and unbrushed the way it rarely was when he left the house. Silver loved him like this, he loved Flint always, but there was something about Flint like this, soft and at ease, bare chested and vulnerable that managed to settle even the worst of Silver’s deep seated insecurities. Because who else got to have Flint like this? Who else but Silver and Thomas got Flint at his gentlest? They looked at each other for a moment, Flint frowning softly with his hands on his hips and Silver wrapped up in his blanket, saying nothing, saying everything they could. Then Flint sighed and sat down next to him. “I’m not here to bully you,” he said gently, taking the cigarette that Silver was neglecting. “You were gone when I woke up, thought I’d check on you,” He paused, relighting the cigarette with his trusty old lighter, “but as you were not in your room I figured something was bothering you and you’d be either working in the office or up here.” “You didn’t have to check on me.” “It was for my sake, not yours.” Silver smiled faintly, his eyes stinging from what he hoped was just exhaustion but was probably tears. He didn’t look at Flint, just blinked them away and watched the sky lighten little by little as Flint finished the cigarette. “You know that’s not what I’m doing, right?” Flint asked after a few minutes of silence. “Whats not what you’re doing?” “Bullying you.” “I mean it’s kinda what you do.” “Is that how you see it?” Flint wasn’t looking at him. He was reaching for the French enamel cigarette case that was sitting next to Silver, one he’d stolen in Monaco several lives before, and lighting another cigarette. Silver watched him, a little wistful, and incredibly exhausted all at once. “No.” He said. “Yes. Depends on when you try and do it I guess.” That got a low hum from Flint, smoke filling the air for a moment in a pensive cloud. Silver waited, oddly tense, hoping that Flint would listen to him, and not try and play one of their fucked up little games so early in the morning. They were doing really well these days, not playing any games at all, having real, honest conversations like well adjusted adults who hadn’t done all the awful things they’d done, to each other, to others. But sometimes it was so much easier to just be awful to each other, to fall back into the old way of doing things. “I only check on you to know you’re still here,” Flint said finally. “I only ask if you’re alright because if I can fix it, I want to. I don’t care if you lie to me about what had you out of bed this morning. I don’t give a shit if you never tell me the names of your ghosts, I’ve told you that a dozen times, I know you remember that as well as you remember the names of my own ghosts.” Silver did remember, both the ghosts, and the plaintive way Flint had asked him to trust whatever it was they had between them. “I just want to know you’re still here. That you’ve not gone running off again. That you’ll run to me next time this,” he waved at the rooftop and the skyline as if encompassing all of Silver’s faulty coping methods, “fails and you’re out at sea. I just- I ask those questions to reassure myself, alright?” He paused, taking another drag from the cigarette, tipping his head back with a heavy sigh. Silver could see the age starting to show on his face again, in the soft lines around his eyes, the firm set of his mouth, the scars on his nose and throat, the endless sea of freckles, the faded ink of his tattoos, the streaks of gray in his beard. Before his eyes, the man he loved, his Flint, was appearing, returning to flesh and blood from the land of dreams. “You’re not the only one who’s scared, pup,” Flint added, finally turning his head and catching Silver looking at him. The sea green of Flint’s eyes always seemed to hook Silver, regardless of whether he wanted them to. They could be the deep inky black full of secrets or the still gray of quiet waters, it didn’t matter- if Flint looked at him, soft and open and endlessly patient the way no one else was, Silver would eventually break. Flint knew it, but so far, he never seemed to abuse the power he held. Silver smiled faintly. With a soft groan he shifted onto his knees, loving the way Flint’s hands immediately reached to steady him whether he needed it or not, and crawled into Flint’s lap, straddling his hips and wrapping the worn blanket around them both. He took the cigarette from Flint’s lips and stubbed it out in the ashtray, as Flints hands settled like an anchor, warm and sure, at the small of his back. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, old man,” Silver said, brushing Flint’s hair out of his eyes, “I promised you were stuck with me. No amount of nightmares are gonna change that.” He kissed Flint softly, smiling at the low rumbling purr it got him, at the way Flint’s hands pulled him closer, spread wide on his back. It was a soft, innocent thing, no heat, no hunger, and that too was still something novel to Silver, that he could have this innocent kind of intimacy with someone, with a man like Flint. He craved it as much as he craved the wilder side of love and was grateful that Flint seemed happy to satisfy both moods whenever they arose. “Good,” Flint said, once the lazy kiss broke and Silver tucked his face into Flint’s shoulder with a happy sound. “Because while I would absolutely give chase, I’d rather not have Thomas trailing after us as well. You know the kind of trouble he gets up to, just imagine him trying to find you.” Silver snorted with an undignified burst of laughter. “No, god, he’d be impossible.” “Exactly. I’d have my hands full just trying to keep him in one piece. I’ve got enough gray hair as it is, pup, don’t go giving me anymore before my time, alright?” Flint lifted his chin as Silver’s fingers petted the gray streaks in his beard, letting out another soft rumbling sound. “Alright. Though I do think it’s sexy.” “Yeah yeah, you’ve made that perfectly clear,” Flint kissed the top of Silver’s head, nuzzling his messy curls. “C’mon, why don’t we head inside, I think it’s a reasonable time for coffee.” “What about your run? Your awful five am morning ritual I can almost never talk you out of even for a blow job.” “I feel like skipping this morning.” Silver lifted his head, leveling Flint with a skeptical look and a raised eyebrow. Flint returned it with a fond smile. “Its Saturday, I feel like making breakfast,” Flint said with a shrug. I love you, Silver heard. “Can we have blackberry crepes? And scrambled eggs?” Silver asked after a moment. “And that fancy bacon you got from the farmer’s market?” Flint smiled, still fond and impossibly warm. Silver’s heart skipped, flipped, and settled in his chest. Flint had heard the unspoken, skittish, and undeniable “I love you too” tucked into Silver’s reply. Flint coaxed him into another soft kiss, still wearing that same smile.

  “Blackberry crepes it is.”