#i might be coping...

[zwoftt]

its so insanely tough because dorian has EVERY right to feel the way he does about the god situation. his opinion is not only valid but brings more theories to the table. most of his opinion comes from not being able to properly grieve his brother, watching his first adventuring party be torn apart, and not being able to fully comprehend the feelings that are stirring inside of him. not to mention that so much is happening to him in such a short time, so its almost obvious that his mind would be scrambled like this. not only that, but taking the time to consider orym in ALL OF THIS, because of how much he cares. honestly, they haven't really been able to console each other about everything that has recently happened. i believe that orym can possibly be the one to sway dorian back towards the other side, even if its for the time being. because god. i wanna see dorian make that spider queen PAY. maybe he'll be swayed to help orym and the rest of the hells, but he's not doing it for the gods. he's doing it for orym. and after, he's going for that spider queen himself (unless of course he gets his entire perspective changed, in which he grieves normally and finds out that revenge won't make it better)) the tension in dorym rn is juicy, and is needed for the pairing to become an even deeper one. it is quite literally a slow burn afterall. i mean, disagreements have already happened in the past between them; and it only made their relationship stronger. i don't see how this can be very different.

[novaneondream]

it’s our turn to make you smile

[hinamie]

itakugi sillies fr the soul

[rika-mortis]

Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore

They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package

[avituses]

They all twisted fate together

Individual drawings under the cut!

[heartorbit]

heartbeat

[feralforbeanix]

Thinking about how Trucy Wright seems to do her best to just...brush past all her trauma. And I don't mean this in a "it's bad writing" way, I mean that her way of dealing with things seems to be to mostly ignore it. To move on as quick as possible and try to ignore the more emotional implications.

Yes Zak Gramarye was her dad and yes he abandoned her but Trucy doesn't talk about it more than she has to. She just immediately accepts Phoenix's offer to adopt her, calling him Daddy as soon as he told her it was okay to. She even seems to take the Wright last name with no complaint, she even seems to take pride in it!

When Apollo finds out she's actually adopted and her real father was gone, this exchange happens:

Yes Trucy is visibly sad here, but she just as quickly moves on from the subject

When Apollo reveals to the court that Zak was the victim in case 1, he looks at Trucy. Presumably expecting her to be upset, cry, or something

Yet all she does is encourage Apollo to continue with his case

I've seen people compare her to Maya, and while they definitely both have the "smile through the pain" thing going on, I do think there is a subtle difference. Maya downplays her trauma, but it seems Trucy doesn't like to let herself feel at all.

No, I think she acts more like Phoenix.

Phoenix, who is practically known for being cagey and as vague as possible about important events in his past. Especially in this game.

He doesn't talk about his ex girlfriend who framed him for murder, he just moves on to becoming a lawyer. He doesn't talk about Edgeworth "choosing death", he just continues trying to be a perfect defense attorney. He doesn't even talk about important details about his disbarment until he absolutely has to, when it's relevant for his jurist test.

Phoenix, who has been betrayed and left before, who desperately clings onto every person who shows him even a little kindness, who focuses on everyone else's problems and pasts before he acknowledges his own.

This is the man who adopted a girl who most certainly had abandonment issues, because chances are so does he.

He understands her better than anyone not just because he's her legal father but because it takes one to know one

[mochiiniko]

feels like youre running out of holy places

took one look at this scene and immediately started drawing </3 anyways episode 7 :(

[steviesbicrisis]

Steve’s best relationship wasn’t even a relationship. He could barely call it a fling, a flirt. They never even went on a date. They never kissed.

Steve still thinks of it as the best whatever-it-is he has ever had with someone.

At the beginning it was mostly infuriating, how quickly Eddie managed to win the kids over, compared to Steve’s months of work as babysitter/nailbat swinger/monster fighter. Steve had to literally bleed multiple times to get an ounce of respect, Eddie only had to run a nerdy club about fictional bleeding and monster-fighting.

Then somehow, and Steve still has trouble pinpointing when and how it happened, everything changed.

Taking the kids back home from hellfire became something he impatiently waited for.

He and Eddie would barely talk for a few minutes and he would find himself replaying the conversation in his head for days. Anything he could say to get a reaction out of Eddie became fundamental, and if he started by picking subjects to piss him off, he ended learning about Eddie’s favorites, because few minutes after hellfire were never enough and Steve needed Eddie to talk as much as possible, until the kids were begging to drop it and go home.

Steve never questioned the change, most likely out of fear. He doesn’t think he ever was clueless, just really scared about what would potentially mean to be staring at another dude’s eyelashes as he goes on a rant about why Ozzy Osbourne is the best artist of his generation. Or blush whenever said dude would call him “baby”, or “sweetheart”.

Steve convinced himself that the thing he and Eddie were having was as good as it was going to get, nothing more.

Then Chrissy Cunningham died, Eddie ran, and Steve realized that the thing will never be enough for him.

He couldn’t not have Eddie. Not watch him as he entertains a bunch of freshmen, as he stomps with his worn out sneakers on top of forniture, as he puts his terrible music on to push away anyone who doesn’t care enough about him to stay.

Steve needed to see Eddie being alive, doing what his heart desires, and he needed to be next to him when he does.

Obviously, this realization came at the worst possible time.

Steve tried to tell him so many times: when they found him at the boathouse, when he was hiding at refer Rick’s house, when they were taking a stroll in the upside down, and even when they were driving a stolen trailer to a gunshop.

But, it seemed, Eddie had come to a realization just as important and he tried his best to avoid Steve at every given chance.

Steve tried to initiate the conversation as Eddie did his best to run away from it. And he ran until Steve had no chances left to tell him how he actually felt.

———

Steve doesn’t know if he’s allowed to say he lost something he never had. To mourn a relationship he never began. A partner that, technically, never became a partner.

After Eddie dies, Steve has no one to be next to but he can’t say he ever did.

Steve just exists waiting. He can’t tell if he’s waiting for the pain to go away or for Eddie to jump out of a bush and yell “ah! I got you sucker!! By the way, I’m in love with you too.”

For obvious reasons, that never happens.

What does happen, is a call.

It’s a normal Tuesday, as normal as you could define it after Hawkins almost collapsed into the upside down. Steve got into a routine, between checking on the ones at the hospital, helping out at the shelter, allowing Robin to check on him to see if he’s still alive.

The call happens while Robin is doing her kitchen check up - aka making sure he has food and that he’s eating it-, so she picks the phone like she did a million times before.

“Harrington residence, this is Robin” she says, cheerfully.

Steve doesn’t pay much attention to it as he’s folding his dad’s old clothes that intends to donate to the shelter, until he hears Robin’s loud gasp.

“What is it? Is it the hospital? Is it Max?” He rushes to the other room where Robin is.

She doesn’t answer but she gives him a look as she passes him the receiver.

Steve goes quiet, a million thoughts going through his head as he takes the phone from Robin.

He’s still unprepared when he hears that unmistakable voice “Baby”.

Steve gasps for breath “Eddie?”

Is that really you? What happened? Are you hurt? Isn’t this impossible? Is what goes on in Steve’s head, but he ends up just asking “are you okay?”

He can hear a chuckle, Eddie’s wicked chuckle, a further confirmation that it is him, “I’m- hanging in there… are you okay?”

Steve finds the question absurd. He isn’t the one who got left in the upside down, the one that got eaten by demonic bats, the one who died before Steve had the chance to tell him how he felt.

He answers truthfully nonetheless, “I’m… I’m not okay.”

“I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

“Please Eddie, come quick.”

“I’ll break the sound barrier for you.”

[el-pada]

drew my roblox avatar

[orpiknight]

Crowley: That's the point. No nightingales.

Aziraphale: . . .

Aziraphale: Have you checked your sleeves?

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

Haven't I given enough?

Given enough

[athousandbyeol]

i can't stop thinking about this scene.

it was so light-hearted. sheng wang was all-smiley after finishing (perhaps multiple rounds) of revising and studying. but the lively atmosphere simmers down into this thick and stifling tension once jiang tian opens his closet.

honestly, if i were sheng wang, i would have so many questions too. why is he packing? is he going somewhere? but where? so, whatever sheng wang is thinking or feeling at the moment is valid (to me, at least, it is.)

i think it has so much to do with sheng wang's expression here (liu dong qin, the actor you are) that breaks my heart into tiny, million pieces.

it's in the way his eyes follows every movement of jiang tian, but particularly directed at the opened luggage, that has me thinking of sheng wang's fear of separation. the trauma he experienced when he was just a little boy.

i can't imagine how he felt when he saw his beloved mother collapsing to the ground—at the age so little to grasp the situation—to comprehend the meaning of sadness and grief and death.

he was broken. he was devastated. but those feelings as a child were just feelings. but the adult sheng wang now understood that those feelings come with bitter memories and realisations that death is inevitable, and death is permanent. his mother won't come back to him no matter how frequently she visits him in his dreams (and wake).

his heavy breathing. his fixated stare. that feeling of abandonment is washing over him again. they're coming in slow, steady and destructive.

so when jiang tian approaches him with the said book that has more extensive questions, he still can't look away. not until jiang tian realises that sheng wang's attention is now elsewhere.

and he finally asks,

i personally adore how benjamin acted this scene out. jiang tian immediately glances over at the luggage, somehow already knowing the context/direction of this conversation. (it's in the subtlety of benjamin's acting here that has me going nuts.)

when sheng wang asks this question, it reminds me of this scene in episode 1,

jiang tian was looming in front of sheng wang's house, wondering if he should stay or leave. possibly his only destination would be uncle ding's house. maybe he has nowhere to go, to be honest.

sheng wang immediately called him, voicing out his thoughts. and the context is similar—are you leaving?

although jiang tian answers sheng wang's question, not leaving him hanging the way he did in episode 1, it's still not enough. the reason being, as of right now, we're knowledgable of sheng wang's past. but what about jiang tian? we know nothing about him. we just know this boy is closed off and distant and cold and grumpy. but why?

these questions are the answers. but sheng wang doesn't know. not yet.

they could have just dropped the conversation here. but this is one of (the many) things i notice about sheng wang: he's always curious. always seeking answers. even in his studies, he would ask crab (i love you, friend) for the solution. and we saw some instances where jiang tian would share the method he used, etc, only to help him. and i think it's being presented at a different light here. sheng wang is waiting. he's waiting for jiang tian to give him answers.

as jiang tian says it's a habit, it might not be the answer sheng wang wanted, but it was needed, at least, only for the night.

it's so overwhelming to me how jiang tian has always been providing sheng wang with safety, happiness, anger, irritation, fun, answers and questions. how susceptible sheng wang is with everything jiang tian is. they are like mirrors reflecting one another. because for me, jiang tian is like a closed book, but i could understand him once i start reading. but sheng wang, he's more layered. he's open but also secretive. he expresses emotions, but not everyone reciprocates and understands him. not until jiang tian.

and i'm no longer sane in the head because of this.

[birdricks]

the final phrase of my last sentence / hangs in the air, sounding stupider and stupider

[sapphiccyranodebergerac]

web weaving: love felt wholly in the mundane. the kind of love that sometimes goes unnoticed

| fleabag s1 ep4 | the orange by wendy cope | circe by madeline miller | love should be about the mundane by lauren bravo | circe by madeline miller (again) | everything everywhere all at once | the happiest day by linda pastan | drops of jupiter by train | lady bird dir. by greta gerwig |