#i mean we all fucking salty that it could've been way better

[chaifootsteps]

So liek, I get why people might dislike the party verosika hosted which, fair, tbh I think it would've been better if it was mroe of a party for people getting out of bad relationships and their family/friends(for support) and it jsut happened to be a lot of people Blitz hurt one way or another

But also, I felt like it is over hated, I mean, Blitz does have a bad track record with relationships. This isn't new. With Verosika, she told him she loved him, and that spiraled into him stealing her credit card and spending it all and stuff.....that's pretty shitty.

Blitz is a victim of Stolas, but he also HAS victims. Like Verosika might be salty over Blitz and not over him but also like....fair enough- he really fucked her over, throwing a party is a bit extreme and only for the writers to make Blitz look bad, but it could've been good with a few tweeks

I think the party would be valid if the point of the party were to actually address the people Blitz has actually hurt, and the series up until that point had used its time to show us these hurt people. Blitz did Verosika filthy, he ruined her life, but she and Moxxie are the only ones who can truthfully be called his victims.

The party's full of characters we've never seen before and we have no reason to care about, or even worse, characters like Dennis who we know Blitzo didn't do a damn thing to. Instead of an opportunity to explore the actual damage Blitz has caused, the anti-Blitz party is just another excuse to fellate Stolas's man pain because Blitz didn't drop to the ground kissing his feet the moment he asked, and that's why it fails in the context of the story.

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Yeah I've had a S4 poster on my wall since middle school and I still have a deep deep fondness for the show, I mean I'm reading fanfics for it still, but if you think that Eurus Holmes was a good and well executed idea I don't know what to tell you :')

Unstoppable force (I really really want to rewatch some Sherlock BBC episodes and my brain won't let me do anything else) vs immovable object (none of them are actually good and I don't want to go through that experience again)

[ki-hyunie]

Even though kpopnight sounded like a huge fucking mess I’m glad mx was were positive, humble, and sweet as usual and mbbs seemed to have a good time

[mangomochi-yn]

[oh, but really]

karasuno. tsukishima kei x reader

g. rollercoaster lol (ends w fluff tho)

tw. usual salty tsukki yknow wc. 1.2k

your face— it’s stupidly cute

"Okay, seriously, Tsukishima. You need to get your nose out of our business." The tension in the classrom increases by ten fold as soon as the words left your lips.

Why? Oh, maybe because this was already the 6th time you butted heads with the tall blonde boy— sharp comments thrown back and forth despite you having barely been in this school for 3 weeks now.

Just a guess really, maybe.

"Well whatever stupid clothes you keep trying to push to my bestfriend here actually is my business. Are you so dense that you don't see it's making him uncomfortable?"

Any other day, Yamaguchi would have beamed with joy at the fact that Tsukki even called him his friend, but today the air was too sensitive for him to even want to breathe in between the two of you.

"Hah? So now suddenly he's your bestfriend when you've done nothing but ignore and disregard Tadashi!" Really, it should've been a telling sign how you called Yamaguchi by his first name instead of his last, but annoyance was too clouded in Tsukishima's mind before he could even notice.

The need to bite back was itching him and it was already too late by the time the words left his lips.

"A lot more of a friend than you are, being nothing but an annoying attention seeker. Not his fault that no one else in class wants to hang out with the clingy new girl." Finally, Yamaguchi stands from his seat and stares at your face— clearly Tsukishima's words struck a chord in you as tears slowly flood your eyes.

"You know what? Fuck you." Laced with venom and hurt, your words came out so clear you would barely even need context to understand what just went down. But it was your words before you left the classroom was what made everyone else in class collectively inaudibly gasp.

"Tadashi, tell auntie that I can't come over for dinner tonight. And if you still need help on what to wear for OUR COUSIN’S wedding next month, just text me."

And with that you slammed the door and stomped away— ignoring your next teacher's stare at you as he walks into the classroom.

"Yamaguchi, where's your cousin heading to? Class is about to start." Cousin. Tsukishima quite literally heard the word ring in his ears as their teacher said it. I mean, no wonder you were so annoyingly close with Yamaguchi as soon as you were introduced to the class.

No wonder you were being so pushy to his best friend— when the whole time you were only helping.

Tsukishima really was an idiot for not noticing.

"Ah, sensei, Y/N doesn't umm.. feel very good. She's heading to the nurses office." No, it was Tsukishima that wasn't feeling good. He was annoyed. Annoyed at himself for saying what must have been a bullseye bitchy insult to you earlier.

So when he stood up and walked out of class as soon as the teacher called for class to start— he couldn't help but feel even more annoyed at how he really brought this all to himself.

You weren't in the nurses office though— Tsukishima thinking he hit a dead end looks up at the sky and maybe the gods above decided he deserved a chance at redemption when he saw a glimpse of your hair flow with the wind from the rooftop.

Of course you were up there, he remembers now how you literally would not stop gushing to Yamaguchi the other day about how nice their school's rooftop was compared to your old school’s. How did he even remember that?

So with a slight pant in his breath, he arrived the rooftop, opening the door he instantly sees you against the wire fence, staring out into the horizon.

"Why didn't you say you were his cousin?" He didn't want his first words to you to sound that harsh. But he can't help it, not when all his emotions were a second away from going haywire on him.

"What, so it's my fault for wanting to hang out with my cousin without announcing it to the whole class?" And he notices how your voice was a lot more solemn this time. Unlike the 5 other times he bickered with you, this time you were so much more calm— like you weren't really there.

"No, but it could've helped you know." He really couldn’t help but answer back again, at least this time his tone wasn't as snappy as usual, not that you noticed when you're too caught up with your own annoyance.

"Oh, but really? Allow me to wholeheartedly apologize Sir Tsukishima Kei. It has completely went off my head how I should have taken your opinion into full consideration when I literally just transferred into a new school in the middle of the school year with no one else to talk to." This time your voice cracks and Tskukishima winces at that.

"I didn't mean it, Y/N." Your laughter, albeit jovial, held sniffles in them from crying, and it only served to push Tsukishima to apologize further. He really did fuck up this time anyways.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you a clingy new girl when I didn't know what you were going through." And finally you took it into you to look back at him. He had that same perfect stance with his hands in his pockets, you wouldn't have guessed he was apologizing if you couldn't see that small glint of guilt in his eyes.

"You forgot the annoying attention seeker too." You couldn't help but push further, earning a groan and a roll of his eyes in return. Besides, the minute he said he didn’t mean it earlier was enough to clear both your heart and mind already anyways.

"I shouldn't have called you that either." He finally huffs out under his breath, but really that was all you needed to finally lighten up your mood again, a simple gal you were— that is until an idea came into mind.

"I'll forgive you if you do one favor for me then." You walk up to him, hands on your back but that same mischievous smile on your face. Tsukishima was already regretting not walking away as soon as he apologized but at the very least— at least you had a smile on your face again.

"I don't really need your forgiveness, though. I just wanted to apologize an be on my way." You frowned at him.

"Fine! Then I guess Tadashi will just have to live with the fact that his baby cousin hates his best friend then." You side-eye him. It was awful trying to use his relationship with Tadashi, but somehow you knew that the boy would give in easily no matter what you said.

"Fine, what is it you brat?" A sly smile crosses your face as the boy sighs, and really—

Tsukishima should have known better than to give in.

bonus. a small favor really

a /n. asdgjllkjasdfhg i just had to make tsukki apologize. he's such a salty sweetheart so i HAD to. also were y/n and tsukki faking it in the bonus or no 👀? we will never know~

[skzluvs]

Strawberry Cheesecake 🍰; Han Jisung

Genre: Fluff!

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: Reuploading this one cause it had too many mistakes!

She tasted the saltiness of the caramel Frappuccino she ordered next to her a strawberry cake her ultimate favorite.

"So tell me Y/N how's school" Chan asked with a smile while he sipped his iced americano.

You where sitting at table in a vintage local coffee shop surrounded by aesthetically pleasing neon signs and flowers.

"You know being a college freshman is way harder than I thought" You sighed looking at him. Discomfort written all over your face.

“I know that face you make when something is troubling you, what it is exactly? I truly doubt is school related" He spoke softly.

" I swore I wasn't going to fall for him Chan, then tell me why I can't take him off my mind" You almost banged your head on the table as a sign of frustration.

You just couldn't understand why he made you feel that particular way and why exactly had to be him the one who everyone wanted the one you absolutely just couldn't have.

“He just has that effect on people Y/N"- Chan laughed showing his cute dimples.

" He truly does but that's not the point Chan you are supposed to be my friend and tell me to stay away from him before I fall in deeper"

Chan knew him they're weren't exactly close but they both shared American literature and that means they have talked here and then. Also they share a lot of things in common for example they were majoring on the same career.

" I can't do that sweetheart because indeed I'm your friend and if you like him I guess I support it"- He raised his shoulders innocently.

" Christopher Bang Chan! I never said I liked him to begin with and second of all you are such a bad friend this is why Woojin will always be my favorite"- You replied to him with annoyance raising your voice a little. Causing some customers to look at you.

Yes, you had the guy on your mind 24/7 but you just couldn't afford to like him. It was not safe, there were a million reasons why you couldn’t fall on that trap and mainly because you didn't wanted to become another one of the so called “fans” he has too many of those already.

" I feel disrespected but let me remind you woojin is still mad at you because you ate his precious chicken" He snapped back.

"What part of I was drunk both of you don't understand I was about to passed out and that chicken was the only thing that was on the fridge it was totally not my fault in fact you guys should do the groceries more often just saying" you responded with a sassy tone.

You were too busy fighting with Chan to noticed that a group of guys entered the coffee shop. And in that small crowd of young boys the protagonist of your chaotic nonexistent love life.

" Y/N I think we are missing the point here" He said trying to go back to the initial conversation.

" And that is..." You said waiting impatiently for him to answer.

" To admit that you do like him" a grin spread across his face.

You wanted to beat him so hard for being such a cheeky bastard.

"Fuck you Christopher I'm just going to pretend I didn't heard you assume my feelings like that" You scoffed in disbelief.

" What are you so afraid of though" he questioned raising an eyebrow at you.

" I already told you. First of all he's never going to like me back we only talked like twice and that's only because my clumsy ass bumped into him in the library"

" Don't you guys share a clase together" Chan asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

" Yes economics, but you know Mr. popular sits in the back surrounded by girls who are staring at him all day admiring his beauty while on the contrary I have to sit on the front so I can actually listen to Wilson talk about Adam Smith and his invisible hand of capitalism for an hour straight"

" Sounds like fun" he repeated mocking you.

" Today you are acting like a real asshole and I'm questioning why I'm still friends with you"- You said sending him a dead stare.

"I guess someone not in the mood for jokes" He said grinning.

"I'm just stressed out okay!"- You growled.

" Well I'm just going to say, you can keep denying it all you want I know you better than anyone else and unfortunately I can tell you are already in love with the poor man"

Mental note never talk about your love life with Christopher Bang because he has no fucking clue about anything else but music.

" When did you gotten so wise ? clearly never because all you are saying is nothing but bullshit" You crossed my arms in denial.

" Whatever you say Y/N. Why haven't you eaten your strawberry cake yet this matter must be really affecting you today because you tend to devore that thing in seconds"

The straberry cheesecake was just there sitting lonely on the table dripping the red syrup while the big chunk of straberry on top was slowly melting. You stared at it lost on your own thoughts.

There are too many reason why is even risky to think You were to like him but You couldn’t help to suppress a smile when You thought about him laughing or just walking confidently along with his friends through the hallways. You felt like a high schooler all over again having this secret crush on someone who can be seen as unreachable.

To you he was a like a shinning star in a sky, someone I wished upon up every night knowing that even with my extended hands I was never going to be able to touch because he felt too high for a simple mortal like yourself.

" HEY BANG CHAN"- a voice called for my best friend who rapidly turn his head looking for the owner.

You stayed there frozen In your place you could recognize that voice anywhere Seo Changbin one of the richest and most admired guys in school and of course for my misfortune his best friend.

“Hey Seo how you been?"�� He asked while greeting the boy with a typical handshake.

There was no surprised that Changbin was talking to Chan they're both Music Majors, talented creative, self producers who were extremely passionate about their career unlike you who selected probably the most boring and time consuming career it could possible exist.

That's correct You were a Med student. Exciting knowing You’ll probably die before I get the chance to graduate.

"I've been well but actually I wanted to talk to you about a song I've been working on, do you maybe want to help me with some tracks ?” He asked directly and I could've sworn I heard Chris gasp.

" Of course mate I would love to" He replied with that beautiful smile showing off his dimples once again.

" I'm actually not that busy right now do you mind if we go to my place and work on it I barely started the beat" Changbin suggested.

" I don't mind I'm not busy either" Chan said immediately.

" Then let's go! can't wait for you to hear it" Changbin said turning around quickly.

You turned to face him for the first time since he got here, they were just talking comfortably as they pretended You wasn't even there but honestly You didn't mind at all, that's what happens when people with similar interests get together also nor You wanted to interrupt their personal conversation.

" I'm leaving Baby! I'll see you tomorrow I'm sorry we couldn't finish talking about you know what but I'll treat you to dinner next time"- Channie said while taking his jacket from the chair and standing up to follow Changbin.

" Don't worry about me, have fun with your new friend" You gave him a smile before he disappeared through the crystal doors of the coffee shop.

And then you came back to your thoughts while you kept on staring at my favorite dessert that didn't look as appetizing as before when you purchased it about 30 minutes ago.

As you was having this mental battle of trying to figure out my feeling for the dark haired boy you didn't even noticed that someone approached your table and stand there looking directly at you.

" Y/N" A sweet voice called out your name taking me out of your trance.

"Huh"- You said looking up confused.

That the minute your heart stopped for a couple of seconds and suddenly You forgot how to properly breathe. The most beautiful man was standing right there next to you with his hands on his pockets and his beautiful brown hair styled to the side. He was wearing sweatpants and a red hoodie but he still looked like a model.

"Can I sit here or are you waiting for someone" He asked offering that smile you always end up falling for.

Was he actually talking to you? You questioned mentally. You don't even know each other like that You wonder how is it possible that he even knows your name maybe he has a good memory and remembers you as the girl who tripped with the books on him on the library.

“God why did my mom had to made me uncoordinated” you said unaudible feeling your ears burn in embarrassment.

Your hands were sweating and You couldn't get the words out of your mouth you was suffocating on them.

" You can sit" you said rushing your words as you could spitted fire. If Chan ever needed a back up rapper you think you could do the job.

He proceeded to pull the chair in front of you and plopped himself on it while putting his elbows on the table and resting his cheeks on his hand his eyes looking directly at me. You instantly broke the eye contact and focused your gaze on that strawberry cheesecake again.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes were neither of you made a sound until he decided to end it.

" Y/N i need to ask you something" His sweet voice sounded a little preoccupied.

" What is it" It was so hard for you to pretend to play it cool in front of him. The one who haunted you even on your own sleep a place where you thought it was safe. But not anymore.

"I know we haven't talked much but I found you really interesting" He scratched the back of his head nervously. "what I'm trying to say is that I would really like to get to know you I mean if that's okay with you of course" He said so fast no wonder why he's actually a rapper.

The red of your cheeks were just as the color of the strawberry syrup from that cake. How was you supposed to answer that while not long ago you was rejecting any possibility of liking him.

" I know this question might sound stupid to you but why me? You know there's absolutely no one in this one who hasn't fallen for you yet" I questioned still unable to believe on his words.

" Oh I know there's one, You are the only one who hasn't" He said obviously.

" So you are saying you find me challenging because I can resist to your charming face " you raised an eyebrow starting to feel offended you clearly wasn't going to be a game to him.

" Not quite I'm saying you are different and I like that maybe you don't realize it but even if the whole world liked me I would still only look at you, I mean I have been since you came in late the first day to Wilson's trying to fix yourself because you looked like you ran a marathon to get there" His laugh overflowed the whole room.

"Excuse me but my alarm didn't worked that morning and I didn't even got to eat breakfast so yes I ran my way all over there sorry I didn't looked presentable to your eyes but some people don't want to be late on their first day" You snapped back messing with him a little.

It was comfortable being with him like this right now. Something told me you was going to cherish this moment forever.

"I never said you looked bad in that moment I thought wow that messy girl is the prettiest one I've ever seen" A smirk spreading across his face.

"Are you just trying to cover up the fact that you literally just roasted me" You said laughing.

" Hey I didn't!” He said puffing outhis cheeks and You must admit he looks adorable every time he does that.

“By the way I was also meaning to ask is strawberry cheesecake your favorite as well?” He asked looking at the almost melted dessert.

" Yes it is. I have tried many variations but I always come back to this old friend, trust me I can eat strawberry cheesecakes for life I just haven't eaten this one because I was too distracted"

"Mine too! I love all kinds of cheesecakes to be honest with you, but no other flavor can surpass the deliciousness of the strawberry one. I must say it's my favorite because in some way it reminds me of you"

"How so" You asked curiously trying to hide the blush on your cheeks.

" It's really sweet but not to the point my teeth would hurt and the juicy texture of the strawberry just melts with the cheese and the cookie crust that's kinda how you are Sweet enough for me to like you with a twist personality that makes it even more fun"

You grabbed the fork and cut a piece of the cake while You shoved it on his mouth.

"Just be quiet for a moment you are being cheesier than the cheesecake" You said pointing at the plate while laughing at his sudden confession.

“Mmm this is delicious” He said savoring the taste on his lips. Liking them slowly in a teasing way.

“By the way, just for the record I was the one who purposely bumped into you at the library I'm sorry I had to grabbed your attention somehow" He winked at you with a smirk.

"JISUNG" You yelled at him.

You both talked about many things that afternoon but one thing you would never be able to forget is how his lips also tasted sweet like that strawberry cheesecake you shared.

[lexi-the-demon-69]

Alright, I'll state my full opinion on the mystic flour update:

It is the worst update of 2024 by FAR! The story felt like a shitty 2015 Sonic game, every single character is an idiotic version of themselves, Mystic Flour is the worst villain this game has ever conceived, we were robbed of any new Dark Choco content, Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip are nothing but plot devices for Dark Cacao's shitty character arc, the other two soldiers did literally nothing, appalling repetition, and so SO much more.

Every single character in the story feels like a dumbed-down version of themselves for the sake of a sad scene to happen. Hell yeah, sacrificing a character's intelligence for the sake of angst... Dare I say, this update ruined how I look at some of the characters, especially Carrow. My girl did not deserve that blatant character assassination and deserved so much better than to be boiled down to a background character. The same thing goes for Crunchy Chip. He may be an idiot, but he's not this level of stupid. I swear, whenever another Dark Cacao update happens, they better fix this problem. Because right now, I can't even look at Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip without feeling salty.

Dark Cacao... oh my god, where do I start... He was written so fucking poorly. He suffers from the same fate as Carrow and Crunchy, but worse. Where the hell did his paranoia and sternness even go?! WHY the fuck would he even LET his soldiers eat ANYTHING from Beast Yeast?! Did they really have to nerf his intelligence THAT hard?! Not to mention that he even had the patience to let Mystic even TALK!!! Bro, why the fuck are you even listening to her?! Just bitch slap her and leave! The fact that Golden Cheese didn't even need help to obtain her awakened form, while Dark Cacao needed help from his dragons is beyond fucking dumb. I'm not even gonna talk about the dragons because I have too many opinions on that alone...

I've already talked about how much I hate Mystic Flour as a character and villain, but I'll repeat it again because I like slandering her to the teeth. Not only is she boring to watch, not only does she have no character, but she's also nothing but a shitty plot device and we know literally almost NOTHING about her past; other than she was kind, the master of the ivory pagoda, and she fell off when people started to demand more of her. Bro, all she needed to do was learn boundaries and none of this would've happened. Like, what're they gonna do? You're the master of the ivory pagoda! Just tell them no and move on. I'm so tired of people saying she's an interesting character when she's nothing but wasted potential! She could've been apathetic, but she could ALSO have a personality. Mystic Flour is the literal incarnation of the song "This is the Thanks I get?!" from that one shit movie, "Wish" and I mean that in the most insulting way possible.

Y'know, the more I think about how bad the writing is... maybe it's a good thing Dark Choco didn't show up in the story if it meant the writers would do him dirty, too... I guess Dark Choco saw this shit show go down from afar and decided he wasn't gonna let himself fall so far from grace like his father and the others did on the writing scale. Which I'm not mad about. He's happy with his banger magic candy and he'll take it in stride. Besides, he already stole the show when his king version showed up in the story and that's all I need lol.

I have stated before that I'm working on a rewrite of this dogshit story and I might make a Wattpad book on it whenever I start writing. I already have so many different ideas for it! I've been listening to the Sonic Frontiers soundtrack for inspiration and bro, the entire soundtrack is what I wanted the Dark Cacao update to be like. Pure fucking HYPE that doesn't feel unearned or forced. So, stay tuned for the rewrite! I'll be posting it soon whenever I find the time to start writing!

Have this meme

The fact that I've seen predictions of Beast Yeast episodes 3 and 4 better than the actual story itself kinda says something about this episode's writing... (the main problem is episode 3, 4 was alright for the most part)

I am hoping to God that whenever another Dark Cacao update happens, they don't dumb them down for the sake of the story making sense. (they did Caramel Arrow and Dark Cacao SO dirty) If you guys wanna hear my full opinions on episodes 3-4 please let me know lol. Because I think they're dogshit.

(Also, I'm working on other art things too, don't worry qwq)

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Are you guys leaving now? Buster: They're leaving as soon as Nance finds a pair of sunglasses she ain't broken Rio: They are Rio: are you with nan and granddad? Buster: I'm not going 'cause they can't make me Rio: Why don't you want to Rio: its Edie's birthday, you have to Buster: I don't have to Buster: And I don't wanna 'cause it's her birthday Buster: The beach will be overrun with all her friends Rio: We don't have friends here, we don't live here, remember Rio: it'll just be family Buster: She'll have made loads since she's been here Buster: That's what she's like Rio: Still Rio: what do you want, a private beach Buster: Yeah Buster: For me and you Rio: Why you leaving me on my own then Buster: You'll have Nance Buster: And all the others will be fucked on sugar, they won't leave you alone Rio: Yeah, exactly Buster: Yeah, exactly Buster: It'll be shit Rio: Not for you Rio: but for me now, probably Buster: Don't make me feel bad Rio: You should Buster: Come on Rio: Nah for real Buster: Rio Rio: It's her birthday Buster: She won't miss me Buster: Like you said, the whole family is there Rio: Fine Rio: but you're meant to be my friend Rio: not leave me to deal all on my own Buster: I am Rio: some friend Rio: and 🤴 Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Do what you like Buster: Don't be like that Rio: What? Buster: You know what and you know why I don't wanna go Rio: Well I don't have a choice so Rio: whatever, later Buster: I wanna be with you, not everyone else Buster: Don't be angry at me for that Rio: I'm not for that Buster: Why then? Rio: Because I still want you to come, obviously Buster: So I'll come Buster: Even though it'll be shit and nothing like the beach trip you promised Rio: we'll still get ice cream Rio: and fish and chips Buster: If anyone annoys me they're getting buried and you're helping Rio: 😂 Deal Rio: unless it's me 'cos that's just rude Buster: I'd stop at a bucket full with you Buster: It'd half bury you anyway, like Rio: 😑 Rio: Hilarious Rio: I won't dunk you for that later at all Buster: You can try Rio: I'm a better swimmer than you Buster: No you ain't Buster: [I feel like she so is cos Cali kid child of the ocean bye] Rio: Am too Buster: Bullshit Rio: I've been swimming every day for the past however long we've been there so Rio: you'll see Buster: You needed the practice Buster: I don't Rio: Sure 😏 Buster: You sure did Buster: But I'm a natural Rio: Natural show-off Buster: I'll show you loads of shit, babe Buster: All you've gotta do is ask Rio: Oh, really Rio: once you've finished losing, you can Buster: Once you've properly congratulated me on my win, I will Rio: How about this Rio: I'll congratulate you so good you forget all about your lose and still feel like a winner Buster: That sounds good but the problem is I'm not gonna lose Rio: Your loss then, babe Buster: Yours Buster: But I'll be there to make you feel better about it Rio: No need Buster: Fine, I won't cheer you up after Buster: You can just cry and I won't care Rio: Maybe in my acceptance speech Rio: when I win Buster: 😂 Rio: You swear you're coming now Buster: I'm getting in the car right now Buster: [car selfie that he didn't need to take at all but did] Rio: 😊 Rio: Good Buster: I didn't get the opportunity to pack anything from their bar cart so it probably won't be that good, like Rio: I think you'll survive though Rio: life, and this party, is what you make it, McKenna Buster: It's what you make it 'cause it's your turn to surprise me in the middle of the night Rio: How am I meant to top a hot tub in a caravan park Buster: That's for you to figure out Buster: I'm waiting Rio: I'll be 🤔 Buster: Good Rio: Are your parents staying? Buster: Nah Rio: You and Nance are in with nan and granddad then Rio: lucky Rio: we're gonna be so squashed Buster: Do you wanna sleep outside? Rio: We could Rio: me, you and Nancy? Buster: Unless she wants Junior to take my place Rio: He could come too Buster: Yeah Rio: you don't want him? Buster: I don't want anyone but you Rio: maybe they'd let us? Rio: but then those two might feel left out Buster: They can come too Buster: It's okay Rio: Yeah Rio: You can still lay next to me Buster: I have to so you can wake me up when my surprise is ready Rio: Exactly Rio: And I've gotta be in the middle, for protection, obviously Buster: Smallest goes in the middle, everybody knows that Rio: I haven't forgotten that quick, like Buster: Don't Buster: Don't forget about me when I leave Rio: I won't Rio: did you forget about me Buster: 'Course not Rio: Then you know, I couldn't Buster: Yeah Rio: We brought marshmallows Buster: If you'd told me that ages ago we'd already be there Rio: 😂 Rio: You've gotta come for the right reasons Buster: What's better than toasted marshmallows? Rio: Me Rio: duh Buster: 😏 Rio: so mean 💔 Buster: I didn't say I disagreed Rio: Well do you Buster: You know I like you best Buster: Best friends, remember Rio: for all time Buster: Forever Rio: Did your parents go apeshit about your room Buster: They weren't as angry as I thought they'd be Rio: That's something Buster: It's not the right something Buster: They would've cared more before Rio: No, I see your point Buster: And I get yours Buster: I don't wanna get grounded over summer Rio: That'd make all our plans even harder, yeah Buster: Nah, I'd still do 'em Rio: You better Rio: can't break your promises Buster: 🤴's can't and I won't Rio: now I know how to break your face Rio: jussayin Buster: It don't mean you can Buster: Or I'll let you Rio: Be nice and I won't have to Buster: That's what I'm saying I know how to do loads of things I won't do Buster: Like being nice Rio: Why won't you? 😡 Buster: Not a pussy Rio: doesn't make you one Buster: You're a girl, it's not the same for you Rio: So every boy is a dick Rio: I don't think so Buster: I don't care what other lads do Rio: You so do Buster: They care what I do Rio: You care what they think Buster: I don't Rio: then why can't you be nice Buster: Being nice doesn't get you anywhere I wanna go Rio: That's not why you're nice Buster: It's a waste of time Rio: I disagree Buster: Like I said, it's different for you Buster: No cunt's stepping over you if you're nice Rio: I'm not talking about me Rio: being nice has benefits as well Buster: Girls get further by being nice, boys don't Rio: Whatever then Buster: Don't get mad at me about it Rio: I'm not but if you don't see the point then there's no point chatting about it Buster: So tell me what the point is Rio: I'm saying, being nice to the right people is just as important to getting places than holding back in other places Buster: Yeah but that's not being nice Buster: That's acting a certain way that benefits you Rio: It is if you still mean it Buster: Nice people don't want anything from it Rio: Nah Buster: Yeah that's why they finish last Rio: That's bullshit Buster: Prove it Buster: You be nice and I won't be and we'll see who does better Rio: 🙄 Rio: don't be stupid Buster: It wouldn't be stupid if you believed any of what you said Rio: I believe it Rio: it's hardly the only contributing factor Rio: too many uncontrollables Rio: doesn't work as an experiment Buster: Fine Rio: Why are you salty Buster: I ain't Rio: Then change the subject Buster: Nance is up for sleeping out Rio: Cool Rio: Junie will if she does Buster: They'll let the four of us Buster: Whoever gets final say Rio: Mine won't care Rio: doubt nan and granddad will make that much fuss Buster: It'll be good Rio: 'course it will Rio: the beach will be too Rio: even if all the others are there Buster: Swear you ain't gonna drown me Buster: 'Cause you're mad Rio: I am not mad, idiot Rio: and I said dunk, not drown Rio: so dramatic Buster: You could've changed your mind Buster: 👸's are always doing that Rio: Really Buster: Yeah Rio: You're not gonna diss a girl for keeping her options open Buster: I didn't Rio: then what are you implying? Buster: Calm down Rio: I was only asking Buster: Not everything I say means loads of other shit other than what I said Rio: Yeah, but what does it mean Buster: It means you could've changed your mind Rio: Then yes, I'm going to drown you Buster: You mean you're gonna try Rio: I say what I mean Buster: So do I Rio: then we're good Buster: What did you think I meant? Rio: About what? Buster: Just then when you were ready to 🥊 me Rio: I don't know Rio: you're confusing Buster: Why am I confusing? Rio: You say we're friends Rio: but then you say you aren't going to be nice to me Buster: 'Cause I'm gonna be honest Buster: If I do something for you it's 'cause I want you to be happy or whatever, that's not nice Buster: It's 'cause you've got the best smile ever and I wanna see it and know it's 'cause of me Rio: That is nice Rio: you are Rio: to me Buster: It's not nice that I want you all to myself Buster: It's mean to my sister and yours whose birthday it is Rio: No but its Rio: I don't know what it is Buster: Today is what it is anyway Buster: I can't give you a private beach yet Rio: but Buster: But I will when I can Rio: you'll still want me around Buster: Yeah 'course Buster: Why wouldn't I? Rio: It'll be different when we're older Buster: Not if we don't want it to be Buster: And I don't wanna share you with anyone so I won't Rio: You want me to yourself Buster: We wouldn't need our own beach if I didn't Rio: but do you JUST want me Buster: What do you mean? Rio: I mean, when you think about it Rio: is it just us on your private beach Rio: or other people too, just you know, not your sister or mine etc Buster: It's me and you Buster: Why who else do you want to be there? Rio: No one Rio: I see it the same too Buster: Good Rio: Doesn't it confuse you too Buster: No Rio: How are you so sure Buster: I'm never wrong Rio: 😂 Buster: I'm serious Buster: I have great instincts and I trust 'em Rio: But when everyone else would think it's wrong Rio: if they knew Buster: I don't care what anyone else thinks Buster: I do what I think is right Rio: I just can't be like that Buster: I know Rio: you think I'm stupid Buster: You're not stupid Buster: I wouldn't be your best friend if you were Rio: I trust myself but I trust them too Buster: Yeah Buster: It's not like I don't trust anyone but me Rio: just not about the things you wanna do Buster: I'm just not gonna let anyone stop me Rio: Yeah Buster: It's what my mum and dad taught me so they can't be mad Rio: I guess not Rio: but they would be Buster: They always are Rio: True Rio: they must be proud though Rio: all the shit you do Buster: 'Course Rio: so that's gotta feel good, yeah Buster: They'll be even prouder of me by the time I've got my own island Rio: everyone will Buster: So don't worry Rio: I'm not Buster: I know you are Rio: Not for you or your ability to get an island Buster: That's just an example Buster: Of how much you don't need to worry about all the things you are Rio: maybe you aren't worried enough Buster: Maybe life's too fucking short Buster: Or I've got other things to worry about Buster: Right now Rio: I'm not asking you to care Buster: So now you're saying I don't Rio: You said it? Rio: There is more important shit Rio: I don't disagree Buster: I never said I don't care about you Buster: Or what's important to you Rio: It's alright Rio: I get it Buster: You don't if that's what you think Rio: It doesn't matter Rio: today isn't about either of us Buster: Don't tell me what does or doesn't matter Rio: You know what I mean Buster: I care about what I care about whatever day it is Rio: yes but we don't need to talk about this when we're just talking in circles Buster: I'm talking in a straight line Rio: blame me if you want, go ahead Buster: I'm not gonna fight with you just 'cause you want me to Rio: I don't wanna fight Buster: I don't want to, you don't want me to like you any more Rio: because I can't trust me Rio: and it's scary Buster: You can trust me Rio: can I Buster: You know you can Rio: but Rio: what if we both want the same thing Rio: who would stop us Buster: We both said it won't happen again and we both don't say shit we don't mean Rio: Okay Rio: right Buster: It will be okay Buster: Trust me Rio: I'll try Rio: I will Buster: Do you want me to leave when my parents do? Rio: No Rio: I wanna be friends, I meant that too Buster: We are friends Buster: We'll still be friends if I go back with 'em Rio: but stay Buster: I don't want you to be confused or scared or worried or any of that shit Rio: being with you makes me the most happy though Buster: Really? Rio: I wouldn't wanna spend all summer with you and be your best friend if it didn't Buster: I'll stay Rio: Good Buster: I'll stay with you until I have to go to London Rio: then what Buster: Then I'll come back and see you whenever we want Rio: Okay Rio: that's good too Buster: And you can visit London as well Buster: We'll talk all the time just like we do now Rio: I was just checking Rio: that you want that too Rio: not to just go back to how it was at the end of summer Buster: I can't go back to that Rio: Me either Rio: so don't Rio: and I won't Buster: Okay Rio: sorry Buster: What for? Rio: making it weird there Buster: Don't be Rio: but I am, today is gonna be fun and I ain't selling that at all Buster: We're not even there yet, there's loads of time, like Rio: Did I mention the marshmallows? 😏 Buster: You did but cheers for reminding me Buster: I'm well hungry Rio: You need car snacks Buster: There are but it's all fruit and shit Buster: Cheers Nance I really fucking fancied a carrot stick and some hummus Rio: 😂 Rio: you can always burn her marshmallow as payback later Buster: Distract her for me, yeah? Buster: Christ knows how she's related to me Rio: Of course Rio: you don't even look alike, its so weird Buster: I'd say she got swapped but like you've said before she looks too much like she belongs here Rio: You could be swapped, if you like Buster: She'll be less weird in London when we don't have to live with our weird aunt Rio: Its the only drawback of coming back here tbh Buster: Still, they should just let me stay here with nan and granddad Rio: You mean you don't wanna live with Ro all on your own 😂 Rio: must not be an Irish school posh enough Buster: She wouldn't make me weird, I do what I want Buster: They don't want me going to a catholic one and I don't either to be fair Rio: Imagine when she has her kids Rio: how weird they'll be Rio: poor things Buster: She'd need a boyfriend first Buster: And nobody wants to go out with someone that weird Rio: She only needs to pretend 15 minutes Rio: that's how long it takes, like Rio: but she'll probably marry another doctor Buster: She couldn't pretend for 5 Rio: 🤞 he's quick Buster: Well glad the snacks are shit now I won't be car sick at the idea of that Rio: 😂 Rio: Maybe Drew will come back Rio: complete the set, like Buster: Nobody wants him back Buster: He'd have to be a glutton for punishment Buster: Maybe if he found god in prison Rio: Not like he sticks around so Buster: Anyway I heard my mum say Ro can't have babies Buster: She said she's more likely to die than get married Rio: Do they hate each other Buster: I don't think mum loves anyone but us and dad Buster: But you can't hate your sister, can you? Not properly Rio: I've heard Ro telling my mum that yours resents her Rio: its different but kinda the same, yeah Rio: I don't know Buster: Sometimes I wanna be an only child too, don't you? Buster: And that's without all the bad stuff that happened to her that we aren't allowed to talk about Rio: When they're like all crying and screaming at the same time Rio: but I'd probably get bored Buster: I wouldn't let you be bored Rio: I know Rio: but we ain't together day to day Buster: Maybe we would be if we were the only kids our parents had Buster: Everything would be different, like Rio: Maybe Rio: no point thinking about that though Buster: We probably wouldn't be best friends if you had to see me everyday Rio: You reckon Buster: Yeah Rio: You aren't that annoying Rio: give yourself some credit, like 😏 Buster: You're just gonna drown me to try and prove you can then? Rio: I am now Rio: your fault Rio: keep putting it in my head Buster: I'm SO scared, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: all be over soon and you won't be scared of nothing Buster: Make me Buster: I'm scared of nothing already Rio: 'course not Rio: everyone's scared of something Buster: Maybe other people are but I ain't Rio: that's bollocks Buster: It's not Rio: 🤷 Buster: Don't call me a liar Rio: I didn't Rio: I just don't believe that Buster: Then you are Buster: You're saying I'm lying Rio: It can be true to you and not me Rio: it's noting to argue about Buster: Nah, you either believe me or you don't Rio: I believe you believe it Buster: That's what parents say when they don't believe you Rio: It doesn't matter, if you believe it then that's what counts Buster: Stop telling me what matters Rio: I'm just saying like Rio: I ain't trying to start shit Rio: I'm just not gonna agree with you for sake of, you know Buster: I don't want you to Buster: That'd be really boring Rio: Well I won't Rio: you can trust that Buster: I'll teach you some more boxing when we get there if you calm down Rio: I'm so calm Rio: can't say the same for this lot Buster: If you say so Buster: It's your bet to lose if you don't pay attention Rio: What's gonna distract me Buster: I will Rio: That's cheating, I reckon Buster: You said I had to teach you properly and I am Buster: There's loads of distractions when you're in the ring Rio: Okay Rio: fair enough Rio: I'm so zen Buster: Even more distractions if you just wanna hit someone 'cause you're 😡 Rio: It's all about control, I know Rio: I'm already a pro Buster: We'll see how much control you've got Rio: Yeah Rio: you will Buster: 😏 Rio: wipe that smirk clean off, like Buster: I look forward to seeing you try, babe Buster: [Shows up to your function] Rio: [the excitement is real from everyone lbr] Buster: [Nobody let Nance be in charge of the presents cos she'd either forget them in the car or drop them, you sort it boy it'll make you feel important] Rio: [come at the birthday girl who's probably wilding somewhere] Buster: [They'd probably get her such a good gift cos Buster probably picked it and is a wild boy with good taste] Rio: [they would always come through on that gifting front we know it] Buster: [enjoy it Edie babe cos rudely your bdays are downhill from here] Rio: [sad times] Buster: [I'm not even gonna think about it, fun for all today thank you] Rio: [all the party games and beach moods] Buster: [yas I fucking love the beach] Rio: [he should play rounders] Buster: [100%] Rio: [roll out sporty kids] Buster: [lowkey everyone but Nance and Junie like] Rio: [unathletic gays] Buster: [kids Buster is gonna make you cos he's that bitch] Rio: [force that participation lmao, something for the dads to oversee like byeeee] Buster: [Fraze like allow me to get too involved in this and bury my actual feelings nbd] Rio: [exactly dr phil] Buster: [Poor Nancy does not need her dad and brother in her grill like this soz she's not a sporty gay] Rio: [soz babe this ain't your bday sneak over and help the mums set up 'cos Rio would be 'cos mini mum] Buster: [run girl run] Buster: [and Buster don't get distracted by your bae gotta win this shit boyy] Rio: [realistically you've not got much competition they all too lil so enjoy that easy win babe] Buster: [Edie is probably his closest competition and she's not taking it as seriously so] Buster: [But I like to imagine him helping the little ones too cos he's a good boy and family orientated really] Rio: [Rocky is like 17 so it can be him and Fearghal on a team with some littles and then Fraze and Buster with the others, also imagine lil baby Janis awh] Buster: [I love that so much bye and yeah Janis is Buster's fave of the littles always so he's having her on his team shamelessly] Rio: [baby Grace gonna be falling god bless] Buster: [She'd be dancing when she's supposed to run cos she always dancing as a bub] Rio: [that twerk dance babies do lmao] Buster: [imagine all the food and drink options cos Caleb has come thru bitches] Rio: [picnic mood] Buster: [we know Buster sitting next to Rio and none of y'all can stop him but also baby Janis cos they so won bye] Rio: [you know they're just sharing a plate] Buster: [it's the child friendly equivalent of sexily feeding each other crepes] Rio: [a mood, even if everyone else has to be here, like] Buster: [likewise she should put sun cream on him cos he white af and then he can playfully get her on her nose with it or something cos also a mood] Rio: [imagine the burning otherwise lol, Nancy just like I too am white btw] Buster: [Exactly she HAS TO it's not flirty at all even though he wouldn't burn and Nancy so would] Rio: [yet again everyone, where are you, what are you not seeing here] Buster: [Tess sort it out] Buster: [Also who's being annoying they can bury in the sand together because couple goals as a child tbh] Rio: [so many options lmao] Buster: [One of the adults blatantly cos you think you're bad bitches maybe Rocky cos he sucks at rounders lol] Rio: [lmao soz hun] Buster: [kill some time cos you can't go swimming together when you've just had a picnic like] Rio: [the hour rule my boo say] Buster: [nobody's drowning today] Rio: [or are they, Buster] Buster: [we all know she's a better swimmer and he's gonna sulk so hard] Rio: [we ca skip to that for more talking then 'cos yeah] Buster: [let's say he gets out of the sea and is ignoring her like in the future when they went to skerries and she thought he was flirting with that bitch haha] Rio: What's with the face Buster: [is just having such an in depth convo with his sister all of a sudden] Rio: [looking like ? but then going off to help with some activity for a bit 'cos not gonna hound him but say Nancy gets up then she'll message again] Rio: hey Buster: Just say it Buster: Whatever gloating you wanna do Rio: Will it cheer you up, like Buster: Get it over with Rio: You are funny Rio: I told you I was a good swimmer Buster: Yeah well Rio: Don't be a sore loser, you're quite good too Buster: Shut up Buster: I'm not quite good, I'm good Rio: What am I then Rio: go on Buster: You know how good you are Rio: What's the point of winning if I don't get a prize Buster: What do you want? Rio: Tell me how good I am, that's all Buster: Are you sure you don't want something else? Rio: 😂 Rio: Alright, admit you were wrong, how's that? Buster: Fuck off Rio: Your choice Rio: can't be any fairer, McKenna Buster: I reckon you cheated anyway so Rio: How Rio: jet-propellers? Buster: I don't know yet Rio: 🙄 Rio: lemme know when you work it out Buster: Alright Rio: [🤔 at him] Buster: [shaking his head cos grump] Rio: [pouts] Buster: [looking away hardcore cos he'd give in if he looks at her cute face] Rio: 😡 Rio: come on Buster: You come on Rio: What Buster: Don't make me more mad Rio: I've not done anything wrong Buster: I know but Rio: You're a show-off all the time and I'm not even and you're still angry Rio: I don't get mad at you Buster: I don't wanna be angry Rio: Why are you Rio: it was just for fun Buster: I don't know Rio: Don't ask me to do any more competitions with you Buster: Rio Rio: Its stupid if you end up mad and Rio: just no fun Buster: I won't get mad Rio: You will though Rio: you can't help it Buster: I can try Rio: You should Rio: but just 'cos Buster: Show me how to do it then Buster: If you're as nice as you are good at swimming, it'll be easy for you Rio: I never said I was Rio: I try not to be a bitch Buster: I'm saying you are Buster: So tell me what to do Rio: How to calm down? Rio: What does it feel like, when you get really angry? Buster: Like that's all there is Buster: I'm not even me anymore 'cause I could be watching myself hit something or someone but I can't stop it Buster: I don't really know how to explain it Rio: It sounds Rio: not scary because you don't like that word Rio: you like being the leader though, right? in charge Rio: but being angry is the opposite of that Buster: Yeah Buster: But I don't know how to stay in control when I feel like that Rio: Maybe its working out how you feel right before that Rio: its too late if you feel it but if you work out the before, you could stop it Buster: You mean like when you work out what your opponent is gonna do before they do it Rio: Exactly Rio: some shit that makes you mad, you might be able to avoid, but if you can't then you have to work out when to walk away before you blow up still Buster: Alright Buster: I'll come and find you and then I won't be angry anymore Rio: Yeah Rio: when you're in London, you can message me whenever Buster: You have to swear that you'll always answer Rio: 'Course I will Rio: even when I'm at School Rio: not meant to but I always take my phone in Buster: Me too, it's been confiscated loads Buster: It's so shit that we can't go to school together Rio: I know Rio: you miss loads Buster: What's the point of being angry all the time if it don't mean my mum and dad listen to me? Rio: I'd say they can't listen if you're screaming and shouting but in the case of parents Rio: they never do Buster: Fuck it, come back in the water Buster: I wanna get better at going under Rio: [Does, running like yas 'cos happy 'bout it] Buster: [Gotta let them live their best lives being cute af together in the sea for a bit] Rio: [deffo, all the others would lowkey be too small to do anything but addle so its as close to alone as you're getting rn] Buster: [utterly devastated that you can't kiss under the water though cos someone might still see you] Rio: [so much baby angst] Buster: [Take this degree of privacy and enjoy it while you can though cos at some point your sister will probably appear in the sea to 3rd wheel you again lol] Rio: [god bless you know not what you do] Buster: [I like to imagine while this is going on for them she's crushing on cute little girls at the beach] Rio: [they should all go on a walk, I'm imagining its like a Wells vibe and there's a woods before the beach, then they can go to the front and get chips for tea] Buster: [I like that vibe] Rio: [What would you like to happen/when would you like to skip to next?] Buster: [oooh maybe one of the fam is obvs jokingly like you two are joined at the hip today and they are like OH NO because we said there's clearly a vibe here like] Rio: [I like that, then casually splitting up like that isn't weirder, oh babes] Buster: [way to make it seem even more obvious children] Buster: [cos then we can skip to when they are sleeping under the stars if we want] Rio: [sounds good to me baby] Buster: [omg though such a lame game of truth or dare and never have I ever even worse than the sleepover cos Nancy and Junie are playing this time god bless] Rio: [lmao, just giving each other looks like] Buster: [they should like start playing something sneaky themselves via this like 20 questions or something idk whatever game you can do without alerting the others] Rio: [They could do MASH via messages, and maybe the question game Chloe made up? I'll start if you like] Buster: [I literally was just thinking that they should do something like that cos it's about crushes haha and it's like a less adult shag marry kill] Rio: [less blatant, though they can if they wanna tbh] Rio: Let me tell you your future 🔮🎴 Buster: How? Rio: Pick a future wife, I'll let you have 3 options, as I'm so nice Rio: you have to tell me Buster: I'll either marry a supermodel, famous actress or a WAG, obviously Rio: [whole time clearly putting this info down in her app] Rio: 👍 three cars you'd drive? Buster: Lamborghini, Ferrari and Aston Martin Rio: What colour do you want your car to be, pick three again Buster: Black, silver and Blue Rio: Now just pick three numbers, gives it away if I tell you what for Buster: 31, 6 and 1 Rio: 👍 Three places in the 🌍 Buster: London, Dublin and... Buster: Dubai Rio: Fancy Rio: okay, last one, three jobs you'd wanna have Buster: Lawyer, Footballer and Pub landlord 😏 Rio: Calculating 🧐 Rio 'Once upon a time, you met WAG and got married.  You moved to Liverpool and lived in a Apartment. You eventually had 6 kids with WAG.  You drove around in a Silver van. You worked as a Footballer until the age of 65, when you retire.' Buster: 😂 Rio: You could have done really badly, you got none of my joke answers, jammy git 😒 Rio: 'cept Liverpool and a van but you know, could be worse Buster: I'll need a van to ferry all those kids about anyway so cheers Rio: Seriously Rio: any more and you need a mini bus so Rio: [sends him the app] Rio: do me Buster: You ready? Rio: Born it Buster: So who are you marrying? Rio: Okay, I'll have my first husband the footballer or he'll be mad, a bazillionaire and Rio: Hmm, just put H.E Buster: What does that mean? Rio: Its initials and not your concern Buster: [IRL 😒 rn] Buster: Cars then Rio: a range rover, a jag and a limo Buster: What colours? Rio: gold, white and red please Buster: 3 numbers Rio: 3, 10 and 2 Buster: And the places you want Rio: LA, Vegas and Home Buster: Okay just jobs left Rio: A mogul, an entrepreneur and a famous just 'cos Buster: Alright, hold on Rio: 😬 Buster: Once upon a time, you met a drunk and got married. You moved to Rome and lived in a Shack. You eventually had 3 kids with the drunk. You drove around in a blue Tesla. And you were a stay at home mum to those 3 kids you had, unlucky, like Rio: 😑 Rio: That's so rude Rio: you've doomed me Buster: It's not gonna come true, babe Buster: You'd never only have 3 kids Buster: Unless he died Rio: SHUT UP Rio: you're horrible Buster: [puts his arm around her like there there but also a shameless excuse] Rio: [such a 😡 face] Buster: [whispers to her to calm down cos throwback to their earlier convo when she was helping him but also a flirty pisstake] Rio: [when you'd wanna push him so hard but cannot 'cos Junie and Nancy are still here living life] Buster: [putting a leftover marshmallow in her mouth like this will cheer you up cos they are his fave but also flirting 5ever] Rio: [at least you can hide any blushing by pretending you're just still fuming] Rio: I'm doing my own, you jinxed me Buster: I didn't Buster: You just wanna put all your secrets crushes in Rio: Why would I keep it a secret Buster: I don't know Buster: Maybe the lads are ugly Rio: Again, why would they be Rio: not blind Buster: You gonna tell me whose initials they are then? Rio: If you like Rio: have to actually know him to put him on your list though, I guess? Rio: or what's the point Buster: I'm not putting any lads on my list Buster: I don't wanna marry 'em whoever they are Rio: Then it don't matter to you then Buster: Tell me Rio: Harry Edwards, his family live near the farmhouse Rio: as near as anyone does Buster: Why do you wanna marry him? Rio: I couldn't think of anyone else Buster: So what made you think of him? Rio: We was playing out the other night Rio: he's got brothers and sisters too Rio: not as many as me but there's like 6 of them Buster: Does he go to your school? Rio: Erm I don't go to school here, do I Buster: You will though Buster: It's obvious your parents are loving being back Rio: It's gotta be good to have some time to themselves Rio: first time in a decade, like Buster: Yeah probably Rio: even if it's like an hour, better than none Buster: You can get loads done in an hour if you want Rio: You can Rio: they probably can't Buster: Most adults can't Rio: Exactly Rio: [hardcore on her phone giving herself a nice future lmao] Buster: [just trying to 👀 cos nosy bitch and we know why] Rio: 'scuse you Buster: Excuse you Buster: You're ignoring me Buster: Not very nice Rio: What? Rio: I was basically 😴 soz Buster: Well I guess I'll have to find something fun to do on my own and let you sleep Buster: Shame Rio: Go on Buster: Goodnight then Rio: Shut up, tell me Buster: Don't tell me to shut up Buster: You're meant to have manners Rio: Why are you being so rude Buster: What are you talking about? Rio: Entertain me Rio: I'm bored Buster: Yeah, now your boyfriend ain't here Rio: When was he ever Buster: [is 😒😡 cos she didn't say he wasn't her boyfriend] Rio: What's the matter, you're bored too Buster: Nah, I have a plan Rio: [nudges him like 'and-'] Buster: You're not coming Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause Nance and Junior ain't invited either Rio: So Buster: So stay with 'em Buster: If they wake up and we're both gone that's unfair on 'em and looks bad on us Rio: So why do you get to go Buster: 'Cause it was my idea and I don't care if Nance gets angry at me Buster: Or if I get caught Rio: Maybe I have things I wanna do too Rio: I'm not being lookout for you Buster: Don't then Buster: Do what you want Rio: Fine Rio: [gets up with her shizz like good day] Buster: [walking away cos too much drama and he does have a bad plan lol] Rio: [go on] Buster: [his terrible plan is that he's gonna try and break into the golf club that skerries has cos they always fancy but he probably won't be able to do it on his own so he really should stop being a jealous moody bitch about the boyfriend she don't have] Rio: [God bless you tiny child, I assume the adults are keeping an eye so you don't get snatched so you'll probably both get told to go in or go back to sleep now, like] Buster: [cockblocked but in the sense that you need to interact again now it's the opposite haha] Rio: [just laying back down awkwardly like 😒 'cos you're 10] Buster: [furiously looking at the sky, what a mood] Rio: That was your fault Buster: Fuck that Buster: You were making loads more noise than I was Rio: You couldn't have stomped harder if you were wearing 🥾🥾 Buster: You didn't even have anywhere to go Buster: If you'd waited til I left to be dramatic, I'd be halfway to the golf club by now Rio: Well now neither of us is going anywhere Rio: and those places always have sensors everywhere Rio: keep the animals off as well as stupid boys like you Buster: Well cheers Rio: You started it Buster: You started it Buster: Don't blame me Rio: How did I Rio: it was totally you Buster: Shut up Buster: No it wasn't Rio: You were being off with me and then you wouldn't invite me Rio: how is that my fault Buster: You know why Rio: No I don't Rio: you got a nice future and everything, mine was rubbish Buster: I'm not playing again so you can get a nice future with that boy Rio: I don't want him Rio: I'm gonna put a fireman instead Rio: they're brave and they have to be really fit Buster: Until they die and you have to marry again or be alone for the rest of your life Rio: Um well your WAG could die from a botched Brazilian butt lift but I didn't put you off Buster: I wouldn't care if she did so Rio: That's just horrible Rio: she's your wife Rio: think of the six kids, like Buster: If she needs surgery she ain't good enough for me and I regret marrying her Rio: 🙄 Rio: maybe your arse ain't all that Rio: but no one is gonna insist you make it look like you got two balloons down there Buster: You're just being stupid now Rio: You are Buster: You are Buster: I'll grow up to have the best arse going Rio: [probably snorts trying to keep that lol in] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: You're so judgmental, honestly Buster: Why? 'Cause I don't want an insecure ugly wife? Buster: I bet that lad you like is neither Rio: She could be lovely Rio: what then Rio: and I don't know, I've met him a handful of times when we're back in the holidays Buster: You know what he looks like and what you think of it Rio: And? Rio: I know what lots of people look like Buster: And you fancy him so you've made a judgement there Rio: I do not, shut up Buster: Yeah you do Rio: I don't Rio: what would be the point Rio: don't even live here Buster: I didn't say you actually had to marry him Buster: Or that it's something you have any control over Buster: If you like someone you just like 'em Buster: The decisions are after that Rio: Well it's irrelevant because I don't Buster: Well you had the entire time I was doing my answers to think of yours and you still chose him Buster: That's not irrelevant Rio: I don't know, it's just a game, like Rio: not actually gonna come true, is it Buster: I know that Rio: then you were trying to look Rio: I didn't make you tell me all your actual crushes Buster: I didn't ask for any of yours Rio: don't be nosy then Buster: Don't be so fucking mysterious then Rio: You either wanna know or you don't Buster: If you'd used his name in the first place I wouldn't have cared Buster: Initials are like a game within a game Rio: I wasn't being mysterious Rio: 'cos you woulda said who the fuck is Harry Edwards Rio: it makes it more drama than it is Buster: I said that anyway Rio: Just forget I said it Rio: got a drunk anyway didn't I Buster: I can't Rio: Why not Rio: he was just the first boy I could think of Buster: 'Cause I don't want him to be the first boy you think of Buster: Some cunt I don't even know Rio: Well it couldn't be you could it Buster: Don't Rio: I'm sorry Buster: Just don't, Rio Rio: [just looking like ?! and sad but does] Buster: [rolls over dramatically or whatever as if he's going to sleep right now immediately but we know he isn't] Rio: Don't be mad Rio: not for me but 'cos you don't need to Buster: I ain't Rio: you're sleepy now Buster: Not really Rio: Don't you wanna do something then Buster: I don't wanna say something I can't take back Buster: Or do something I said I wouldn't Rio: maybe it'd Rio: I think they're all asleep Buster: [a LOOK and a half bitch] Rio: ['it'd be you' you best be so quiet honey also says a lot but also deniable like, obvs it'd be you, you're right here you know] Buster: [saying her name really quietly like he did last time cos forever a mood] Rio: ['we could-' shakes head, shrugs 'we can do anything we want, right?'] Buster: [gestures for her to come closer like he's so worried she's being too loud but we know that's not the reason cos he's also nodding] Rio: [Obviously does, pressing her forehead to his, not daring to breathe or move another muscle, like] Buster: [I was thinking if we need to stop them from kissing they could always knock heads/one could accidentally headbutt the other when they go in for it cos that's surprisingly common if you're overeager and don't really know what you're doing] Rio: [God bless] Buster: [so much opportunity for pisstaking when they hate each other too] Rio: [sad times but yes] Buster: [throwing him under the bus and saying it's his fault cos he's a prick soon] Rio: [need the ammunition you can get honey] Buster: [don't like actually hurt her with your big head though please] Rio: [lmao casual black eye] Buster: [we don't need to be explaining how that happened] Rio: [oh the shame] Buster: [do look after her and be nice and make sure she's okay while you're still a cute baby egg thank you boy] Rio: [you know in the AM all the adults will be so extra like omg what happened and he's gonna be so mad on the low] Buster: [I hope she's come up with a good lie] Rio: [blame one of the toddlers lmao] Buster: [rude but legit] Rio: [when we were on holiday once connor threw a bratz comb at this girl and it made her eye red and her parents were well salty] Buster: [let's take a moment to savour him saying sorry more and genuinely being more sorry than he will for the next few years] Rio: [god bless all of y'all, is there any more skipping we wanna do in this specific convo] Buster: [we could potentially do the next day like you said but equally don't have to cos we know the vibe]

[amaluelmwood]

We saw Kingman 2 and good lord it was aggressively hetero. The stuff with Tilde could've been dropped and it would've been way better.

RIGHT?! 

I think I said something similar in my sort of rant about this topic after I saw it, but it literally reads as ‘Vaughn knew the queer impact the first film had, and decided to #nohomo this one’? 

I mean, yes, having the lead male agent settle down with one of his ‘conquests’ instead of her being just a ‘conquest’ is a great way to buck all those Bond tropes. That’s all well and good. 

But it was heteronormative as fuck and made no actual narrative sense? Dropping the Tilde subplot, or making her a friend rather than a romantic partner, would have been SO much better. Having Eggsy and Tilde build a friendship out of their encounter would also have bucked those Bond tropes. 

And I’m not even saying this because I ship Hartwin? I’m saying this as 1. a queer person completely sick of being queerbaited and then being shat on with heteronormative bullshit and 2. as a fucking writer who can see what the hell is going on there and isn’t impressed (in WHAT VERSE does a secret agent marry a crown princess????? How does that work? He’s now got one of the most recognisable faces on the PLANET). 

…I am salty again. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Were you really not gonna tell me? 'Cause newsflash, if you were waiting for Buster to grow a pair and do it Nancy: Obviously that wasn't going to and didn't happen, like Rio: It's not just you, I wasn't going to tell anyone Rio: I didn't Nancy: Okay Nancy: Glad to know it wasn't just me Nancy: But you could've said something when they all started finding out and not leave June to break it to me thinking I already knew Nancy: The level of awkward Rio: I'm sorry, Nance Rio: I should've thought Rio: it kinda just happened Nancy: That's my twin brother and I'm the last to know Nancy: You know? Rio: You so aren't Rio: know news is traveling fast but Rio: I don't know, I am sorry Rio: Probably could've done this better Nancy: Anyway its not about me Nancy: So not the point Rio: Yeah but it ain't my intention to make you feel shit with it Rio: or his Nancy: He clearly had no intention either way Nancy: It's actually comforting though, amid this whole personality transplant he's having, he's still able to be a prick Rio: I mean, take what you can get, babe Nancy: I'm sorry but this is Nancy: He's old enough to get married but not mature enough to talk to anyone about it Rio: To be clear, we aren't getting married Nancy: What do you mean? Nancy: You are Rio: I mean Rio: not right now Rio: not for ages, it's not like we've got plans Rio: we would've said then, would've had to Nancy: Then what are you doing? Nancy: Why do you need a ring that costs enough to give my mum and dad a heart attack, right now? Rio: Because we want to Rio: there's no way to say that that doesn't sound bratty but you know what I mean Nancy: Not that long ago he wanted to go to America Nancy: I'm not even trying to sound like a bitch but if I do then it's 'cause I don't understand Rio: I've not said he can't Rio: he's still applied Nancy: I'm not saying that only Nancy: How do you know what he wants? Nancy: I know what it's like to get carried away, like Rio: I know Rio: but this hasn't just come out of nowhere, remember Nancy: It seems like he has to keep upping the stakes, everyone's okay with you being together so he has to take it further Rio: I don't think he wants the fight Rio: like you said, he doesn't even wanna talk Nancy: He says he doesn't, but then does everything he can to have it brought to him Nancy: He's always done it Rio: I don't know what to say Rio: I really don't think he's gonna take it that far, like Nancy: Well, I wouldn't have said so either but it's one drama after another with him lately Rio: There's nothing I can say to convince you, and I'm not going to Rio: but I know he loves me Nancy: I know he loves you too Nancy: But you have to admit, it's intense, right? Rio: Yeah Rio: It definitely is Rio: it always has been Nancy: Are you sure he can handle this? Rio: How do you mean? Nancy: He's always kept everyone at arms length Nancy: Slept with different girls all the time Nancy: Not that long ago Nancy: Has he really changed that much? Rio: I think so, but sure, I can't say so for certain Rio: but it's only me who has to take that chance and trust him Rio: you know Rio: if he hasn't then that's that Nancy: Aren't you freaked out? Nancy: He's already cheated on you, okay not in a cut and dry way 'cause we all know what Chloe is like and what she did but still Nancy: You said yes to forever Nancy: That's Rio: Like you said, not that cut and dry Rio: It was all such a mess idk if we were even together together Rio: it still hurt but Rio: I'm just trying to move on from all that shit Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Sorry for bringing it up Nancy: I'm just Nancy: I'm freaked out if you're not Rio: Nah, it happened Rio: I can't explain how I know Rio: I just do Rio: Maybe it's stupid but it still is Nancy: I don't think either of you are stupid Nancy: Impatient, maybe Nancy: But you're not alone in that, like Nancy: Everything's moving so fast with everyone and I can't remember how to relax anymore Rio: Yeah Rio: It is mental Rio: but this is one of the only things that doesn't make me feel like that Rio: that's what it is, that's how I know Nancy: I can tell its the same for him Nancy: Even if he won't talk to me, I still know Rio: I can make him but you know how well that'll go down Rio: Not got those kind of powers yet, like Nancy: Mum's beat me to the ambush and I can imagine how that went Nancy: I'm not trying to do it Rio: Either really bad or really well 'cos my phones not being blown up so Nancy: Not to be a bitch again, but option 1 is way more likely Rio: Yeah Rio: Reckon your Mum hates me as much as Ro does yet or Nancy: Of course not Nancy: Ro only hates you 'cause she hates herself so much there's no more space there Nancy: My mum would never Rio: Good to know Rio: Self-esteem saving the day yet again Nancy: Not to say she's buying a hat and shoes yet Nancy: But you'll be okay at the next family function Nancy: Mum's mad at Buster not you, and same Rio: What a fashion faux pas that'd be Rio: Make a joke about hiding the bump better than the ring but even I'm not ready for that gag yet Rio: He really is trying, not that I'm going to law school to be his advocate but Nancy: You're getting married before Ro, we're all thrilled about that much, babe Nancy: He's trying my patience, but what's new there? Nancy: We're all trying as hard as we can right now Nancy: It'd be nice if he acted like he gave a fuck about anything besides you and him but Nancy: Just do me a favour and don't have a baby until I'm out of the country, yeah? Rio: Has Drew made an appearance since? Rio: and you've got it Nancy: No Nancy: Even he's not that much of an idiot Rio: Just checking Rio: Don't want 'em sneaking in ahead, like Nancy: If you think my mum is anti your vows she's next level about theirs, don't worry Rio: Ain't we all Rio: Not just 'cos I wanna ride him myself, naturally Nancy: Don't Nancy: So gross Nancy: If that can be the one thing that unites us I'm fine with it Rio: You fancy him too? Rio: Know he's pretty but um Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: Not what I meant Rio: 😂 Rio: Awks, surprised he ain't aiming for the full set Nancy: I'm sure he is Nancy: Happy to disappoint and destroy the myth that he's even pretty Rio: Gasp Rio: Nance, it's all he's got Nancy: Unlucky Rio: Heartless Nancy: Rule 1 of man hating lesbianism, like Rio: I been to the clubs, I basically got the jacket Nancy: You got all the phone numbers too, don't rub it in Nancy: You're already coupled up before me Rio: I didn't get off with anyone 😏 Nancy: Only 'cause you're disgustingly in love with my brother Nancy: You easily could've Rio: Shh Rio: Number one player right there Nancy: Please don't get all boring and domestic Nancy: I need to go out like yesterday Nancy: School is killing me Rio: I don't reckon that's very likely Rio: I do need to ask about and get my name back out so Rio: come with for the crawl, like Nancy: Definitely Nancy: When? Rio: Whenever you can Rio: I was gonna go tonight but gonna take more than one Nancy: I can do tonight Nancy: I need to Rio: Sorted then Rio: Just don't tell your Ma Nancy: She's too busy on labour watch to notice what I do Nancy: Not pregnant or engaged so I'm slipping through the cracks Rio: Aw babe Rio: let's avoid a sister scandal still Rio: Doesn't make the night go with a swing Nancy: Just how hetero is this club if you feel like either outcome is likely for me tonight? Rio: Just 'cos I'm coming for your gayness by getting engaged in a blink of an eye, don't be salty Nancy: Please Nancy: I'm never getting married Nancy: You do you but it's not for me Nancy: I'll keep the cat stereotype Rio: Just saying Rio: you know you could end up wifey'd and ma'd as easy in the gay club Rio: progress, baby Nancy: I could, but I won't Nancy: If I can get through this school year I'll be that career driven bitch Nancy: Glass ceilings to still break, you know Rio: 'Course Nancy: I know you're devastated, babe Nancy: I still love you though Rio: 😂 Rio: How'd you know? Nancy: Settling for the other twin, textbook Rio: That'll be it Rio: Try not to be too smug when you do chat to him, yeah? Nancy: I'll leave that to him Nancy: He does it so much better Rio: Nothing smugger than the higher ground Rio: Sneaky, babe Nancy: You can have that one as a freebie for your married life Rio: 😏 Rio: Still owe me a gift Rio: know you're good for it, McKenna Nancy: Maybe the gift is me tonight, hmm? Rio: Steady Rio: We can't keep doing this Nancy: I know, I know you can't handle me Nancy: I've heard it all before Rio: You heard what they say about redheads too, yeah? Nancy: Absolutely Rio: 😂 Rio: Guess we've said all we need to say then babe Nancy: You haven't told me how high up the bridesmaid rankings I am yet though Rio: You mean you ain't after that best man spot? Nancy: Can't seduce my way up that list Nancy: Also sure that he'd rather die than have me do anything like that for him Nancy: Especially 'cause I'd look better in a suit Rio: Who else would he ask? Rio: Picking the best of his current friends is the best of a bad bunch, like Nancy: You've got more than enough brothers to choose from Rio: Nah Rio: Like you said, kept his distance, who are they to him really, like Nancy: Okay but if you aren't getting married soon who knows what bromances he might form Rio: Who knows how much you'll be twinning Nancy: Gross Rio: You love it Nancy: You do Nancy: I saw you matching him on his feed Nancy: You're such a lesbian now, I can't Rio: Shut up 😖 Rio: we looked 🔥 Nancy: Yeah but it was so gay Rio: I feel hatecrimed Nancy: If you tell me you wanna match me tonight I'm not coming Nancy: Like I am, 'cause I need to, but Nancy: No Rio: 😒 Rio: this is why we're breaking up Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: You could've at least let me break up with you first Nancy: You know how stressed I am Rio: Now you can let off steam with some club hoe Rio: YOU'RE WELCOME Nancy: Now I'll be crying in the club and you'll have to deal with that Rio: Can't keep up with what you want, babe, honestly Nancy: Lesbian 101 Nancy: You never will Nancy: I actually might let off some steam if there's an option though, does that work? Rio: Sounds exhausting Rio: Ooh lala Rio: little TMI but I'm down Nancy: It's a serious question Nancy: Not a proposition for you Rio: Umm, are you asking permission or like Rio: if fucking helps you forget your problems? Nancy: I don't need your permission, we're not engaged, sorry about it Rio: The latter then? Rio: I mean, it's distraction, good as any but it's not fixing anything, like Nancy: If it works as a distraction, I'll try it Nancy: Spoken like I could remotely pull that off after having one girlfriend, okay Rio: Did you Rio: you know Rio: don't have to answer that fully tell me to shut up if you're feeling it Nancy: Yeah but I kind of had my mind elsewhere so I can't really draw on that for much inspiration Rio: Yeah Rio: I wouldn't reccomend going back to old inspiration Rio: goes without saying but that's not gonna help anything Nancy: You're telling me Nancy: Not how I thought my first relationship was gonna go Rio: Cheer up Rio: plenty got you beat Nancy: Is that meant to be comforting? Thanks Rio: Yeah Rio: least you got to be the cunt Rio: feminism, init Rio: the rest of us stuck with our sob stories here, Indie just the latest in line Nancy: I'd rather she hurt me, that's how I deserved for it to go Nancy: As if Buster gets an engagement and I get this Nancy: Such a prick Rio: Well she didn't so you don't get to mope, babe Rio: Come on Rio: Sort it out Nancy: You sound like my mum Nancy: Don't do that around him Rio: Well there's no need for that kinda slander Rio: Might be into it, but I know I can't freak you out with Freud like I did Inds so Nancy: Nothing an old white man has to say about anything is worth listening to Nancy: Even Indie knows that Rio: Harsh Rio: I like him, he knew how to party Nancy: I already know you like old white men, babe Nancy: You can't freak me out with that either Rio: 😂 Rio: Straight up savagery Nancy: Gay culture Nancy: Do I download an app or leave it up to the Gods and fates to decide if I fuck away my stresses? Rio: *Stolen straight from black culture so I trump you bitch Rio: Hmm Rio: Have you lot got a decent app of your own yet Rio: it's easier to swipe away dudes IRL than it is on a screen Nancy: Decent is a stretch Nancy: but yeah, I've swiped away my share of men in the club and out Nancy: Gross Rio: I say leave it then Rio: Plus I know you shy types, you'll front too hard on the socials and feel like dying when the time comes Rio: best to keep all your impressions in person Nancy: I feel so attacked Rio: As you should, direct callout, like Rio: got no time to chill Nancy: Fine Nancy: Acknowledged and accepted Rio: 😘 Love ya bitch Nancy: I'm glad he's not going to America if it means you're not Nancy: Like, I don't know how far away I'll be anyway but still Rio: I know you're hurting rn Rio: but please Nancy: What? Rio: Where you not insinuating you don't even wanna live in the same country as me? Nancy: I'm saying I do want to, not that I know what country I'll be in Nancy: But the way my classes are going I could be stuck here Rio: Ahh, with ya Rio: You cutie Rio: There's no way Rio: even with this bullshit Rio: it's all about your portfolio really yeah Rio: and nothing's fucking with that Nancy: It's just that nobody tells you that when you want to fuck your teacher and it fucks her over none of the other staff are that willing to help you Nancy: She used to help me, you know Nancy: And I can't like hey sorry but can you just help my dyslexic brain figure this essay out please even though you hate me now Rio: Surely there's someone else in that shithole who can Rio: Like, they don't have to be buzzin' about you but Rio: just unprofessional Nancy: I started it Rio: You're a student Rio: in their care, regardless Rio: also hardly the first who wanted to pipe a teacher, like Nancy: I don't know, all I know is everything takes so much longer now and I can't ask mum to help me until this baby comes out Nancy: So we're going out and I'm forgetting that school's a thing Rio: Sure I can't tempt you with a study sesh to go with the pre-drinks, like Rio: may as well, I've got fuck all to do 'til I get a day job again Nancy: You're not married in yet Nancy: You don't have to help me Rio: Come on Rio: Swear, I'm not that thick Nancy: Shhh Nancy: You're smarter than me that's my problem with it Nancy: You think my brother is the only one with an ego? Rio: Babe, please Rio: I'll just help get the shit sorted in your head, I ain't doing it for you Rio: left for a reason Nancy: I mean, if you wanna do it, I'll take the A Nancy: I need all the help I can get Nancy: Especially in Irish, obviously Rio: Don't push it, like Nancy: Come on, homewrecking doesn't end in good homework scores Nancy: Who knew? Rio: Ba mise an dalta ab fhearr liom ach Nancy: You lost me, see this is what I'm saying, I'm gonna fail and then have to go into my uni interviews like well.... Rio: Okay, okay drop the ego at the door and I'll help you out Nancy: You think I'm joking but I've seriously only studied with Buster before I moved schools and my mum since, when she's around Nancy: I wish I could call it ego Rio: Look, I know I can't talk you outta whatever block it is but seriously Rio: no judgment Rio: and none of the others would either Nancy: I know but like, Junior's so smart Nancy: Not saying you aren't, but you left so I don't have to know it everyday, do I Rio: There's different kinds of smart Rio: not to be that after-school special but seriously Rio: you're good at what you want to do Rio: and you'll find a way to make that happen Nancy: I know realistically that you're right but whenever I want to ask someone to help me I just remember what all those fucking girls made me feel like Nancy: About everything Rio: I know Rio: Cunts Nancy: I do need it though Nancy: Help, I mean Nancy: So if you're serious Rio: 'Course Rio: It's no thing, honest Rio: I'll come to you? 'Cos like fuck are you concentrating better here Nancy: Too true Nancy: Okay Nancy: I'll make us food Rio: 👍 Rio: and you say you ain't wifey material Nancy: Oh no, I know they'd be lucky to have me, babe Rio: 😏 More like it Rio: but remember, not why we going out, yeah Nancy: It's all just part of my masterplan to see the engagement ring, don't worry Nancy: There's nothing more important than judging every choice my brother makes Rio: Don't have him taking all the credit like I didn't help Nancy: Lord, imagine Nancy: I've seen so many horror stories Nancy: That straight girl suffering Rio: They love it Rio: First test for hubz to fail so you can cackle with your girls Nancy: They hate men more than I do and that's the truth Nancy: I see you with your separate living rooms Rio: Mhmm Rio: you'd understand if you liked 'em babe Nancy: No thanks Nancy: I refuse to believe the sex is good enough to put up with everything else Nancy: I've heard enough straight girls talk to know it isn't Nancy: Do better, all of you Rio: 😏 Nancy: Don't Nancy: I know what you're thinking and I don't want to hear it Rio: That's why I didn't say anything! Nancy: That emoji speaks for you Nancy: Loudly! Rio: Well, I can't lie Nancy: Disgusting Rio: Moving on Nancy: Thank god I moved before I had to hear that many girls swooning over him Nancy: Just have to deal with you instead Rio: First of all Rio: I'm not swooning Nancy: Sure Nancy: And second of all? Rio: Shut up Nancy: Mean Rio: Deal with it Nancy: Stop hate criming me oh my god Rio: 😂 Rio: The girl who cried hate crime Nancy: The title of my autobiography or no? Rio: Defs a work in progress but don't hate it Nancy: If nothing else the photos will sell it Rio: I know how you meant that and yet Rio: centrefold yo Nancy: Lord Nancy: Go to church please Rio: It sells Rio: we all know it Nancy: If the girl looks like you, sure Nancy: But you're not getting that promo in my autobiography so Rio: Shh Rio: working on my manners but the sentiment's the same Nancy: It's not rude to admit how pretty you are Nancy: You're fine Rio: 🙄 Rio: Such a flirt Nancy: You wish Nancy: You're stuck with my brother now, I'm not saving you Rio: Oh well Rio: that's that then Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Heartbreaking but Rio: Don't break out into a rendition of I Will Survive yet Nancy: I'll save it for the club Nancy: Promise Rio: It is a tune Rio: I'll pick a nice love song to piss you off Nancy: There she goes again with her hate crimes Nancy: So mean Rio: You know Rio: if loving your brother is a crime 😜 Nancy: That was actually the gayest thing you've ever said Rio: I know right Rio: really leaning into this Nancy: Am I proud or am I horrified? Hmm Rio: So proud Rio: Gonna make a speech at the wedding Nancy: If you mean get drunk and call Buster out then yeah Nancy: Of course I will Rio: Please don't ruin my pretend wedding Rio: the drama, this family has had enough Nancy: What do you actually want as an engagement gift though? Nancy: You've caught me unawares and I'm offended Rio: We don't need anything Rio: just get the first round, like Nancy: Did I say need or did I say want Rio: Did I not say a round Rio: you can IOU his Nancy: Fine Rio: Don't be grumpy Rio: So like him Nancy: OH MY GOD Nancy: Is that any way to change my mood? Rio: Facts are facts babe Nancy: Stop it Nancy: I'm pouting 'cause I wanna shop that's not like him at all Nancy: You know he'd just buy it Rio: Yeah he gets so mad when I won't let him splash the cash Nancy: Gross Rio: Mhmm Nancy: Why are you marrying this manchild? Rio: You know you don't wanna hear really Nancy: You don't have to marry him for that Nancy: None of us are religious Nancy: He's slept with girls for so much less Rio: No, I mean Rio: You'd just gross at any reasoning beyond that too Nancy: I know you love him Nancy: We've had that conversation Nancy: My memory's not that bad Rio: Are you drunk already? Nancy: I wish Nancy: But we have to study, right? Rio: Yeah, I can deal with dyslexia but not drunkness, thank you Rio: also omw btw Nancy: I think it's better when I drink Nancy: Like it cancels out Rio: Interesting Rio: still Rio: wait bitch Nancy: I'm not saying we test it now Nancy: I'm just saying test me later compared to now Nancy: Or something Rio: Whips out homework in the club Nancy: I meant my brain in general but whatever you're into, babe Rio: 😂 Rio: You gon be too busy Rio: remember Nancy: Fighting off straight men, sure Rio: Life and times of a mega babe Nancy: Femme struggles Nancy: Woe's me Rio: Poor baby Nancy: But if there are any cute girls there who happen to also be into me then yeah to fucking away my problems, obviously Rio: 😳 Damn okay Nancy: You know how I flirt so you know your blushes are gonna be spared Nancy: You've got more chance than me Rio: You'll be fine Rio: Your Ma ain't about is she Rio: fully avoiding Nancy: She's done her drop in for the day so you're safe Nancy: You don't need to avoid her though, just use the diamond glare like a torch Rio: Bear that in mind Rio: but I'm glad it's safe to come in Rio: get ready to train that brain Nancy: You're really selling it Nancy: Thanks Nancy: We can drink when I'm done, yeah? Rio: Well any jokes about being your sexy tutor are kinda off limits no Rio: Doing my best with what you've left, like Rio: and duh Nancy: Don't this is literally never gonna blow over and be okay, is it? Like Nancy: Excuse me while I move countries again Rio: Oh babe Rio: it will Nancy: If that was true it'd be old news by now, wouldn't it? Rio: Full offense but no one thinks about it as much as you do anymore Rio: it's just part of the craic, like who's fingered who and all that shite Nancy: Ouch Rio: It's gotta be said Nancy: Okay Nancy: Like it did really but you've said it now Rio: I'm sorry Nancy: How did you get engaged and we're still talking about me? Nancy: That's gay culture Rio: 😂 Rio: I like to think if it wasn't to your brother you'd be more receptive but you know Rio: maybe I'm giving too much credit Nancy: Rude Nancy: I want you be happy I'm not that much of a bitter lesbian Rio: I know bitch Nancy: You better know that Rio: Of course I do Rio: it's not that deep, I swear Nancy: You're only getting married, it's not that deep Nancy: You're funny Rio: Oh my god Rio: stop saying it like that Nancy: I'm sorry Nancy: But I can't believe this is something that's happening Rio: You've got plenty of time to get used to it Rio: not like it's happening in the morning, like Nancy: Thank god 'cause I am not having a good skin day Nancy: Club lighting is one thing but wedding photos are another Rio: Nothing but lowlighting I swear Rio: Plus I probably have to go on some mental diet right Nancy: Um NO Rio: Okay, wasn't about to go bridezilla and put all of y'all on it too or else Nancy: If you put yourself on it, I'd kill you, Buster would kill you, my mum would kill you Nancy: We'd all kill you Rio: The family that slays together Nancy: Exactly Nancy: Stop trying to make me give you big gay compliments about how pretty you are Rio: Soz, I'm just SO about it obvs Nancy: Who isn't? With MY track record Rio: Gotta keep everyone on their toes Rio: like you thought you knew our type Nancy: Jesus, I don't even know my own type Nancy: Good luck everyone Rio: We keep it entertaining if nothing else Nancy: One word for it Nancy: I'll just happily accept you and Buster keeping the heat off me with mum for as long as it keeps happening Nancy: Gathering up my free passes to be a messy bitch thank you Rio: Ringing endorsement Rio: You're welcome and cheers Nancy: I can be nice or I can be honest Rio: Why not both Nancy: When they overlap, of course Nancy: Doesn't happen often where my brother is concerned though Rio: 😏 I tried Nancy: You know he's only nice to you, right? Rio: Slight exaggeration Nancy: Barely an exaggeration Rio: Well Rio: I know he tries Nancy: I understand that you love him and you wanna see the best in him but I love him too and that doesn't matter like it should Nancy: Not to him anyway Rio: It does Rio: I know I've not got anything to back that up with but trust me Nancy: Where's he in this conversation? It's just me and you Nancy: And I came to London 'cause I asked you, he didn't invite me Nancy: He never would Rio: I know Rio: he just, does things differently Rio: he thinks that's how you want it Rio: and it's been like that so long, I don't know if he knows how to do different at this point Rio: not yet, anyway Nancy: Things are how he wants them 'cause I burned him years ago by leaving somewhere I literally couldn't be anymore Nancy: And he can't let it go 'cause he'll never talk to me about it Rio: It's not like it's an easy thing to talk about Rio: especially when he did a lot of things he regrets Rio: I get the frustration but it's not easy being the one who has to come on bended knee Nancy: Yeah, he did those things he regrets to me Rio: I know Rio: and so does he Rio: That's what I'm saying Rio: You get it, there's no ego to be salvaged Nancy: I wish he cared a little less about his ego then Rio: It ain't that simple Nancy: Nothing is when he's in the centre of it Rio: What happened happened Rio: There's too much water under the bridge to solve with a simple sorry no Nancy: I don't want sorry, just not to be shut out about everything that's going on with him all the time Nancy: Forget it. It's not like that for you, you don't need to understand how it is for me, like Rio: Well, no Rio: it's a two-way street Rio: he knows as little about you, it takes both of you to keep it like this Nancy: I came to London, I tried, even though he obviously didn't want me there Rio: So that's it, you're good? Nancy: Excuse you, I've been putting the work in since Nancy: He's put the shutters down over this 'cause mum's on the warpath and he can't handle any criticism Nancy: But it's not like I wasn't getting one word answers before then Rio: Whatever, this is ridiculous Rio: I'm not trying to be the go-between for either of you Nancy: Tell him to talk to me then Nancy: He actually listens to you Rio: Why can't you? Rio: You ask where he is but you're in my inbox acting like you expected him to be here Nancy: Please Nancy: I thought things were getting better for a second after the Chloe situation but here we are again, back to square one Nancy: I'm not there 'cause I'm not looking for a fight Nancy: And that's all he wants from any of us about this, for whatever reason Rio: Because he's been making changes since the Chloe situation and has got no positive feedback from that Rio: All he wants is acknowledgment of that Nancy: I know he's doing better but I don't know how to tell him that without sounding like a patronising bitch Rio: I'm not saying it's easy, or even that you have to Rio: but the defensive is his default for a reason and it isn't just that he's a cunt Rio: I'm not having that Nancy: When did it get so hard for us to talk to each other? Nancy: I used to tell him everything and vice versa Rio: I don't know Rio: Maybe it's growing up because even Indie doesn't come to me like she used to Nancy: Everything's so weird Nancy: I hate it Nancy: I'm genuinely glad he's got you, I used to get so worried about him having nobody to talk to Rio: Me too Rio: Yeah, he needs better people around him Rio: I think Uni, wherever he goes, will help Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Where we are in London is like a different world and not in a good way Rio: May can't come soon enough Rio: I am worried what he's going to do 'til then Rio: maybe I can go back and forth but I promised I'd be here Rio: I don't know Nancy: It's not just him, I was a different person there too, more shut off Nancy: It's what you have to do Nancy: He'll come here though, who wouldn't like it better? It's like taking a breath Nancy: Cliche but true Rio: Yeah Rio: It's not good for you though, I mean, you know Rio: you couldn't do it any longer than you had to Nancy: I really do know. I swear I felt too much here for too long 'cause I didn't let myself feel anything there Nancy: And look what happened Nancy: At least none of his teachers are hot, one crisis averted Rio: I mean, Chloe is hardly bangin' but you know Nancy: Therapists don't @ me or my brother, thanks Rio: Your funds, they'll be lining up babe Nancy: Right? I could pay to put their kids through uni before I go Rio: Truly Nancy: Rich kid problems Nancy: I'm aware how I sound Rio: You don't sound any type of way Rio: I'm sorry I had to be a bitch there Nancy: You're not Nancy: I shouldn't put you in the middle, I don't want to but Rio: I know, kind of inevitable Nancy: Tell me shut up next time, like Rio: You got it Nancy: Or you know, do that straight girl thing of 'but I love him' in response to anything and everything Rio: Please Rio: never get you off your soapbox then Nancy: I mean, if you did it enough I'd just die so Nancy: Not that I'm dramatic Rio: 'Course Nancy: Thanks for not pointing out how dramatic he also is Nancy: I could feel you resisting Rio: You know, enough home truths for one convo Rio: Plus I'm here so like, need you to still want me to come in Nancy: Who's more dramatic though, me or him? Nancy: Don't just say him 'cause you don't want me to fight you Nancy: Real question Rio: Hmm Rio: I don't know Rio: you're dramatic in different ways Rio: so diplomatic, I know Nancy: Such a non answer but you can come in anyway Nancy: Hold on Rio: 👍