#i mean they were together for over a year and like yeah sometimes we're wrong about ourselves

[neve-gallus-girl-detective]

Is there anyone I can talk about Becca Moore and Shannon's break up with??????

[love-byers]

right...

"Listen, the last year has been weird, you know? I mean Max, and Lucas, and Dustin, they're great, they're great, it's just...it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El...I don't know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense? I have no idea what's going to happen next, but whatever it is I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're a team. Friends. Best friends."

"She's special. She was born special. I'm just some random nerd who got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. At least Lois Lane is like an ace reporter for the daily planet—sorry, it's so stupid given everything going on..."

"See how you're leading us? You're guiding the whole party, cause that's what you do. And see your coat of arms? It's a heart. I know it's a little on the nose, but that's what holds this whole party together, heart. Because without heart, we'd all fall apart. Even me. Especially me."

"These last few months I've been so lost without you. I'm just so different from other people, and when you're different sometimes you feel like a mistake. But you make me feel like I'm not a mistake at all, like I'm better for being different. And that gives me the courage to fight on. I need you, Mike. And I always will."

"Mike, don't stop, okay? You're the heart. Okay? Remember that. You're the heart."

"Do you remember the first day that we met? It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends. I just felt so alone, and so scared, but I saw you on the swings, and you were alone too. You were just swinging by yourself. So I just walked up to you and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done."

"Stop treating me like that. / The way everyone does, like there's something wrong with me. / Mom, Dustin, Lucas, everyone. They all treat me like I'm gonna break."

"Just please don't tell the others, okay? They won't understand."

"Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, we'll go crazy together, right?" "Yeah, crazy together."

and this coming from shawn of all people...it's over yall. like it's done. it's over. wrap it up.

[solaris-amethyst]

💫Classroom shenanigans💫

✨Pairing: Yunho x gn!reader ✨Prompt: The two of you are teachers who are bonding over their classes in the teachers room ✨Word Count: 0.9k ✨Genre: fluff, non idol au, slight humor (?), teachers au, secretly married au ☀️Authors Note: All I can say is that I remember the horse is a fruit debacle and had to bring it into this one shot! Question was that a thing all over the world or just in Sweden way back then??

"Do your kids decide that it would be a good idea to argue with you about the fact that horses does not exist and that they're fruits?" Yunho asks as he sit down with his coffee mug in the sofa looking absolutely exhausted.

"No they don't. Is this something I should be worried that my class will pick up and start arguing with me about?" You groan, not liking the idea of your class of thirty eleven year olds arguing passionately about this.

"Someone brought it up and when I told him that no, horses are in fact real and an animal he just said noooo they're not real and they're actually fruits. The whole class just agreed with him and when I showed them videos of horses they said they were animated?!" He vented before taking a big sip of his coffee.

"If it makes you feel better my students seriously thought that the moon was made out of cheese. One said she had seen it in a movie and the others nodded along. Guess which movie they were referencing." You said glancing at Yunho who shrugged, not knowing what movie they could have possibly thought of.

"Wallace and Gromit, A Grand Day Out!" You exclaimed causing your colleague to laugh almost getting coffee everywhere in the process.

"No way."

"Yes way!"

He laughs again shaking his head, he goes to take another sip of his coffee but can't due to the giggles escaping him as he clearly thinks about what you just told him.

"I love my kids but sometimes they exhaust me beyond reason." You admitted thinking back to all of the times they have done things to test your patience.

"Yeah I love my kids as well, they're kind and mean well and I have to say their passion truly is something else." Yunho said whilst patting the seat next to him, wanting you to sit next to him.

You gladly moved over to him. He wrapped one of his arms around your shoulder casually, his hand gently caressing your shoulder, tracing small patterns.

"Do you think they've figured it out yet?" You asked curiously glancing towards Yunho

"That we're actually married? No. Absolutely not. I got questioned today actually why I hadn't taken you on a date yet." He confessed, the tips of his ears turning slightly red.

"Wait, really??" You turned towards him in shock "They're really asking you that?"

"Yeah, your kids don't?" He looked at you with a smile causing you to melt a little bit.

"I mean they do tell me why we would be the perfect couple. Ever since I helped you when we went on that trip together with our classes they've been obsessed with telling me how we should get together and that there definitely is a spark between the two of us." You told him with a chuckle

"Well they're not wrong about the fact that there is a spark between us both." He said giving your cheek a light kiss causing your face to heat up, you quickly turn around and give his cheek a kiss as well smiling when Yunho get that bashful and shy smile on his face, his eyes avoiding eye contact as his cheeks grow rosy from the intimate display as if he hadn't been the one to initiate the first kiss.

"I cannot wait to see the stunned look on all of their faces once we tell them we're actually married." He says shyly causing you to take a hold of his hand which is still on your shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"I'm surprised none of them have noticed we wear similar wedding rings you know. Some of my kids have mentioned they think it's pretty and I think someone said it was similar to yours but none clocked that it was an actual wedding ring." The two of you sat in silent for a while, enjoying each other's presence. Today was a rather calm day and the two of you had been lucky enough to not have recess duty today meaning you could sit in the teachers room enjoying each other's company. Yunho had eventually put away his cup of coffee so he could bring both his arms around you capturing you in a relaxing hug.

"When do you have your last class today?" He murmurs quietly

"At 15:00, but I am staying until 16:30 to plan my next few lessons for the class. What about you?" You look up at him from your position in the hug.

"Yeah me too. Can't wait for the day to be over so I can take you out on a dinner date." He says giving your head a light kiss.

"Mhmmm I can't wait to see the place you have picked out for us to eat at. You always do such a good job at picking out restaurants." You murmur quietly closing your eyes as you lean back against Yunho.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you up a little bit before our classes start again love." Yunho says giving you another kiss on your lips before picking up a blanket on the sofa to wrap the both of you up in.

"Thank you Yunho. I love you." You whisper as sleep takes over you and the last thing you hear is Yunhos fond voice whispering a soft I love you too.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddie-week.

Long Long Time

Day #3 - Prompt: Mutual Pining | Word Count: 1050 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Steve | Tags: Post S4, Eddie Munson Lives, Idiot 4 Idiot, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Platonic Stobin, Robin Knows What's Up

It's not one realization. It's several, over and over again. A steady falling, until he's in so deep, there's just nothing to be done about it. 

"Stop pining, dingus," Robin says, and Steve looks up at her and smiles.

"Impossible," he answers.

"Just tell him," she urges, and he shakes his head. Eddie isn't interested. He's made that pretty clear with the distance he's put between them. 

"Nah, that's not cool. He's getting ready to go," Steve says, "no reason to make it uncomfortable now."

"Dingus. No. Stop it. I can promise you Eddie is pining for you just as hard."

Steve shakes his head. He knows that's not true. Steve's tried all his best moves over the last two years, everything he knows, and has nothing to show for it, except a heart that's maybe not gonna be his anymore.

Steve sits on the floor of Wayne's house, and helps box tapes. Eddie's going. He's really leaving, and soon. 

And Steve's sure that's gonna hurt him for a long, long time. 

"So, what're your big plans for this summer, Harrington?" Eddie asks.

Missing you, Steve thinks, but doesn't say.

"Oh, I don't know. Hang out with Rob, I suppose. Find new jobs. You know we like to change it up every so often. Wreak havoc elsewhere."

Eddie laughs, and it makes Steve smile.

"You could come with me, you know," Eddie offers, but keeps looking down at the box he's packing. "Both of you. All of us."

It's not a real offer, Steve knows that. He knows he's supposed to say no, supposed to let Eddie go, without throwing an anchor around his neck. 

"Oh, you don't want that," Steve rebuffs, and Eddie looks up. "I'll cramp your style."

Eddie laughs, "Yeah, you know me. Party animal."

Steve grins, "You might become one. You won't want me tagging along for that."

"But, what if I do?" Eddie asks, and Steve looks up at him.

"Eddie," Steve says, trying to cut this off before he embarrasses himself.

"You're one of my best friends, and we could have fun together."

They could. Steve knows that's true. But he can't go live in an apartment with Eddie. Can't watch him spread his wings and date, right in front of Steve's face. That'd be too hard.

Even if part of Steve wants to say yes, desperately, just to cling onto anything that's being offered.

But he's trying to be better about that. Trying to grow, and shit.

He can only let his heart get trampled so many times, and he's nearing his limit. He definitely won't be able to survive it happening under Eddie's boot.

"C'mon, Steve. For me."

And that almost does it. He hates to deny anything that Eddie might want, but sometimes, you've got to save yourself first. Put on your own life preserver, then worry about everybody else. Robin's taught him that. Or, has at least tried to.

"I can't."

"Why? Robin? I said she can come, too!"

"Because we don't feel the same way about each other, Eddie!" Steve snaps, and Eddie turns into himself, immediately.

"Oh. Oh shit," Eddie says, "I didn't know you knew. Wow, that's embarrassing," he mutters, and it kind of makes Steve mad. 

"I'm not embarrassed. I can't help who I lov-. Like. Whatever. But I just can't torture myself, man. I want you to be happy, I do. And I'm the wrong guy for making that happen, obviously, so let's just leave it. While we're still friends."

Eddie's nodding, still packing, then he's suddenly frozen in place, "Wait. What? You make me the happiest."

"As a friend," Steve clarifies.

"Well, yeah. But, if you were into it, as more, too."

"Wait. What?" Steve asks, repeating the same thing Eddie had just said. This is gonna turn into Who's on First? if they aren't careful.

"I mean," Eddie says, shying away, "I know you aren't interested like that. But I still want you around."

Steve laughs, fucking cackles, like he's crazy. He feels crazy.

Was Robin right all along? Was Eddie doing the same kind of pining, and Steve just never noticed? Fuck.

They are both goddamn idiots, if that's the case.

"Well, don't laugh," Eddie says, and he sounds dejected.

"Wait, Eddie, hold up," Steve says, crawling across the carpet towards him, putting his hand on Eddie's forearm. "Do we have crossed wires here? Do you like me, like me? Like I like you?'

"You like me?" Eddie asks.

"Uh, yeah," Steve admits, "I have for a while, to be honest."

"Jesus H. Christ, we're idiots," Eddie says, pushing his hand into Steve's hair.

"Dinguses, if you ask Robin," Steve says, smiling, and Eddie's so close he could kiss him. 

Steve thinks he will, and leans in, where Eddie meets him halfway. Kissing him, and it's everything, more than Steve hoped it could ever be.

When Eddie pulls back he's smiling, eyes crinkled at the edges, fucking happy.

He looks thrilled, and Steve decides to go all in. In for a penny, in for a goddamn pound.

"I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time," Steve whispers in a sing-songy way, because even as happy as Eddie looks right now, Steve's still scared his love won't be wanted.

But Eddie just grins even harder.

"What made you think of that song?" Eddie asks, eyes big and bright, almost shiny.

"You hum it all the time," Steve answers, "under your breath. Like it's soothing."

Eddie wraps his arms around Steve's neck, pulling him tighter. Harder. Closer. They're on their knees, so that kind of hurts, but Steve refuses to let him go as Eddie whispers, "It was my mom's favorite song. She'd sing it to me at night."

"Kind of a sad lullaby," Steve says, and Eddie smiles.

"I was kind of a sad little boy," Eddie admits, and Steve runs his hands up and down Eddie's back.

"Well," Steve says, pressing his lips to Eddie's briefly, "if you'll let me, I'm gonna make sure you're not a sad adult."

Eddie kisses him hard at that, and Steve really will. Even if it takes his whole damn life. 

"I'll definitely let you. For a long, long time," Eddie echoes, the beginnings of a promise.

And Steve will take that deal.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!t

The title is from the Linda Ronstadt song of the same name.

[harrysfolklore]

new year's wish - blurb

a/n: happy happy new year loves ! wrote this little blurb about one of my favorite tropes and i hope you like it, let me know your thoughts <3

gif by @harryisart

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

2011

It was a tradition between your friend group at this point.

For the last two years, you've been celebrating New Year's Eve at Jonny's place, all of you getting together to celebrate and reminisce about your memories together.

You loved your friends to pieces, your group wasn't exactly huge, but you've made a bond so special over the years that no one could easily break.

However, you surely had a different and deeper connection with your best friend, Harry.

You met Harry the first day of middle school, and ever since your first interaction you've been inseparable. As time passed and you got closer to Harry, you began noticing some changes in how you felt. His laughter made you feel happier, his support meant a lot more, and being around him felt different—like something special. Sometimes, you found yourself admiring him in a way that went beyond just being friends. You started to realize that your feelings for Harry were growing into something deeper than friendship, something you hadn't felt before. It was like a secret you kept in your heart, waiting for the right time to figure out what it meant and terrified that making a move would ruin your friendship.

"Hey! I was looking for you." Harry's voice interrupted your train of thought, making you move from the fireplace you've been standing for the last few minutes.

"I got cold outside, wanted to catch some warmth." you said, looking at your curly haired best friend.

"The countdown is about to begin," he let you know, "Let's go with the rest."

You followed him to where your friends were hanging out, sitting next to him.

"What's on your mind? You're really quiet."

You took a moment before replying, "Just thinking about how everything's going to be different next year, we're barely going to see you."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, a frown appearing on his face.

"You know, the band is taking off and you're going to be so busy," a confused look took over his face, "Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of you, we all are. I'm just going to miss all of us here together, at Jonny's place."

"Come on, none of that," he said as he noticed a pout making its way to your face, throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his side, "I'm always going to be around, you won't get rid of me that easily," you laughed at this, "Next year we're all going to be right here together and nothing's going to change."

And as the clock counted down the seconds till midnight you wished for one thing: I wish he doesn't forget about me

2013

"Hey, stranger."

"Hello to you too, miss"

Harry's voice echoed through the speakers of your car, making you laugh as you drove the streets of Holmes Chapel, heading to your favorite wine shop.

"Are you coming to Jonny's place for New Years or are you going to spend it with your famous friends." You joked, and even though you couldn't see him you knew he was rolling his eyes.

"Of course I am, that's every year," you smiled at his words, "Besides, I need to see you so I can tell you all about this girl I'm seeing," and just like that your smile quickly faded, and you were glad he couldn't see you because you could swear your face dropped along with your heart, "I'm super thrilled, we hit it off right away and I honestly can't wait for you to meet her."

You weren't sure how many seconds passed in silence from you,but soon enough you heard Harry's voice asking if you were still on the line.

"Yeah, just got distracted by the traffic," you lied, "I can't wait to hear all about it, I'm glad you're happy."

New Year's was days away but you already had your wish in mind: I wish to be the girl for him someday

2015

There was just one thing in your mind as you sat on the bar stool with a drink in your hand: this year sucked.

That year, Harry had a super busy time with lots of success. He kept in touch, but it wasn't like before, your talks became shorter, and you didn't hang out much. You understood he was busy, but it felt different, you missed him and the fact he didn't show up for New Year's hit hard

On top of that, the headline "Spotted: Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles Getting Handsy on a Yacht" was the first thing you read in the morning, and it hurt.

You weren't even celebrating at Jonny's place, which made the night even more depressing for you, your friends insisted on trying something different and celebrate at a rooftop bar instead.

Maybe you held on to nostalgia too much, but you missed the old days when everything was simpler and you had Harry next to you.

"Hey! Countdown is about to begin, what are you doing on your own?" Ellis, one of your closest friends, called for you making you hop off the stool and join them.

"Everyone has their wishes for the new year?" Jonny asked the group, and you knew exactly what was the only thing you were going to wish for: I wish things would to go back to how they were

2019

"Look who finally showed up!"

Jonny's voice made everyone turn their heads towards the door, where a cuddly looking Harry stood with a bottle of wine.

"Hello to you too, mate." Harry said, making his way toward his best friend and giving him a hug.

After letting go of Jonny, he locked eyes with you and wasted no time to pull you close and wrap you around his arms.

"I missed you," he mumbled against the crown of you head, where he placed a small kiss, "I'm sorry I haven't texted, you know how chaotic album releases are."

You smiled with a tingle of sadness, Harry had just released his second album 'Fine Line', one that he described as having sex and feeling sad and that mainly talked about his most recent breakup.

A breakup that you helped him get through even though your own heart was being obliquely broken by him once again. But at the end at the day, he was still your best friend and there was nothing in this world you wouldn't do for him.

"It's okay, you're here now." You let go of him and squeezed his arm one final time before joining the rest of your friends in cheerful conversation.

Like every year, the night flew by and before you knew it you were a few minutes away from midnight, so you took that as a cue to look for Harry who had been absent from the room due to his phone ringing.

"H? Are you done with your phone call?" you asked, getting close to him, "Is everything okay?"

"It was Camille," he said, turning to look at you and showing you a small smile, one that gave away his contentment about it, "She said she wants to talk in person, to work things out."

"Oh that's, that's good I guess." You tried your best to give him a fake smile.

"It's more than good, this is great!" his smile widened as he moved from his place and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to give you to where your friends were calling for both of you, "Never thought this year would end like this."

His words echoed in your head as you stood with your friends who counted down the seconds until midnight, and a single wish came to your mind: I wish loving him didn't hurt so much

2023

The familiar setting at Jonny's place made you feel comfortable and at ease, no matter how busy your lives had been that year, your friends would always show up to celebrate the new year together and that was something you deeply cherished

This year had been extra special, with every aspect of your life blossoming, but there was a certain thing that made 2023 a great year: your relationship with Harry.

You two had become even closer that you were before, you had always been best friends who shared everything but things felt different now.

Maybe it was the way you exchanged looks that lasted a bit too long, the accidental touches that sent shivers down your spine, or the things you both didn't say but felt.

You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, Harry finally felt something more too. But your intrusive thoughts, the fear of ruining your friendship and the amount of times you've been heartbroken over the years kept pushing these thoughts away every time they popped up.

"Praying to the God's above that Harry finally kisses you at midnight?" Ellis' voice almost made you jump on your spot on the couch, she plopped next to you with a beer on her hand and a cocky smile.

"Ellis! What are you on about!" you complained, making her roll her eyes.

"Come on! We all know that's what you wish for every birthday, and we've noticed that he can’t keep his hands off you tonight, walking in hand in hand and all."

It was your turn to roll your eyes, but you could feel your stomach twist at her words.

After a few more drinks and not so subtle teasing from your friends about you and Harry, you slipped away for a bit, needing a break from the noise. Soon enough Harry spotted you by the window, looking up at the stars.

"Hey," Harry said standing next to you, you smiled as you felt his arm wrap around your waist, "The countdown is about to begin."

"Let's go join them then." You moved from the window and tried to head towards the living room, but Harry's hand grabbing yours made you stop on your tracks.

"Actually," he avoided your eyes, focusing on the scenery outside for a moment, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something, I don't even know if this is the ideal time but-"

"Hey," you cut him off, finding his eyes and giving him a tender smile, "It's okay, you know you can tell me anything."

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about this year and everything that changed, especially between us," he began, his voice soft yet determined, and your face full of confusion and anticipation.

"These past years have been a whirlwind," Harry continued, "But in all the chaos and changes, there's been one constant, You. And I've been blind to not recognize what that means."

Your breath caught in your throat and you could swear you felt your palms drench in sweat.

"I've wasted too much time not acknowledging it, not admitting it to myself and hurting you in the process," Harry spoke again, his voice laced with a tingle of sadness. "I cherish our friendship deeply, but I've come to understand that what I feel for you goes beyond just friendship. It's something deeper, something I've been too oblivious to see clearly for my own selfish reasons."

His words hung in the air, you could hardly believe what you were hearing, the words you'd secretly longed for so many years, spoken by the person who meant the world to you.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, I've loved you for longer than I realized, and I don't want another year passing without telling you."

Tears welled up in your eyes and without a word, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. It felt like the weight of the years of unspoken emotions was finally lifted, and in that moment, everything felt right.

"I love you too," you whispered, your voice filled with a all kinds of emotions. "I've always loved you, Harry."

From afar, you could hear the cheers and celebrations of a New Year, the clock had reached midnight and your friends already made their wishes.

And as you finally kissed the man you loved after he confessed that he loved you too, there was nothing else you'd rather wish for.

[listlesswhistle]

AAAAA im thinking about Ingo in Legends Arceus again. They really fucking did that. Im so insane about it, like-

Okay. So. You have this preestablished thing in Pokémon called Fallers. Basically its people who fell into the pokemon world from an entirely different universe. Sometimes theyre alternate versions of known characters. The one thing they all have in common is that they remember nothing from before they fell.

With me so far? Good.

Now we move onto Legends Arceus. Here we are, some hundred or so years in the distant past, exploring the wonderful land of Hisui when, hold on, is that Ingo? The train man? You're in the wrong time period, my guy! And what's that? His memory's gone? Damn that sucks, alt-Ingo got a real shitty deal when he Fell. Trains haven't even been invented yet smh.

Anyway, case closed. Just another Faller making the best of what they have. Cool, but nothing new, lets move on right?

Except. Maybe not.

You see, this "Hisui" region has a little bit more going on with it. Its actually the ancient version of the modern day Sinnoh region, and theres all kinds of fun little details tying the two together: location names, area themes, little nods to Sinnoh myths and pokedex entries, the whole nine yards. Huge gen 4 nostalgia trip. Theres even a bunch of characters that are just blatantly ancestors of important DPPt characters. And you betcha the pokemon match as well!

Yeah, thats cool, but what does this have to do with Ingo again? Weelll, turns out, two of those gen 4 pokemon makin a comeback just so happen to be the gods of time and space. And things have gone a bit fucky with them.

There are these things called "space-time distortions" going around, popping up all over the place, sitting there lookin like big, spooky soap bubbles, and spitting out objects and pokemon from all over the timeline. We're talking dinosaurs and data viruses. Because of these things, Porygons technically existed before the computers that birthed them. And while its never explicitly stated that they're how Ingo got there, how else do you suppose the New Yorker ended up in feudal Japan?

"Alright, that makes sense, but didn't you say he lost his memory? Isn't that kinda a whole thing with fallers?"

Oh yeah, right, thanks for catching that! I guess this was a bust after all. Time travel's not exactly new to the pokemon universe, and it doesn't usually cause memory loss, barring extenuating circumstances. (Ingo didn't turn into a pokemon, so I think we're safe on that front) This isn't even the first time Dialga's gone mad, actually! He must really be a Faller then. I mean, what are the odds that Ingo just tripped into a random space-time distortion, only to run into something entirely unrelated that just so happens to be well known for erasing memories, perfectly replicating the symptoms of a Faller?

Buckle up, this is where things get interesting.

So, when Ingo faceplanted in Hisui, he got picked up by this group called the Pearl Clan. They're this native tribe that worships Palkia, but like, under the wrong name, and they think Dialga's a false version of their god worshipped by these other natives, and they're actually kind of both right, except not, because they thought the were actually worshipping the creator god, Arceus, and it's this WHOLE thing. That's not important. What matters is that they picked up Ingo. Just. Remember that. Pearl grabbed Ingo.

Now, aside from the two big gods and their good ol' poppa Arceus, there's actually another trio of minor gods who took care of smaller business. Relatively. They like to rest at the bottom of three lakes spread around the region, and each one represents a certain gift they were said to have given to the world: Uxie, God of Knowledge; Mesprit, God of Emotion; Azelf, God of Willpower. When Arcues made them, the went out, did their thing, gave their gift, then went straight to bed in their lakes, where they stayed for... pretty much ever. Yeah, these guys are actually pretty chill. Apparently theyre tied for highest base friendship out of all pokemon?

Getting back to the Pearl clan, their camp in the Alabaster Icelands is actually pretty close to Lake Acuity! Way closer than any other settlements are to the lakes, at least.

I know what you're thinking: "What does ANY of this have to do with Ingo's memories??" Well, there's one more thing we need to cover about the lake trio. Y'see, there's this little myth about them, hidden away on a shelf in the back of modern day Canalave library. As calm and relaxed as they usually are, its easy to forget that they're still gods. Powerful gods. Direct decendants of Arcues themself, embodiments of the very gifts which they gave unto the world. The myth goes that, should someone be foolish enough to raise their hand against the lake gaurdians, they would quickly find that those gifts can be taken away.

Harm Azelf, and find yourself as still as stone, drained of even the willpower needed to move. Touch Mesprit, and find yourself in a pointless world, drained of all emotions, joyless and empty.

…Look into Uxie's eyes, and find yourself lost and confused, fallen into a world unknown, without even the knowledge to find your way back to a home you can't remember.

...Yeah

Hisui is plaqued by Distortion, ripping creatures out of their proper Time and Space. Uxie makes their home at the bottom of Lake Acuity, just outside where the Pearl Clan makes camp. The Pearls found Ingo alone, no memory of his past, no evidence of how he came to them.

So you see now. How I might be a little obsessed.

Oh, are you still wondering if he's actually a Faller or not? Well…

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!

This was the first game he appeared in since Black and White 2, and he hasn't been mentioned since! His story is never expanded on!!!

He's probably? not??? Unless he fell out of an ultra wormwhole and into a distortion?? And the ultra beasts couldn't find him??? They literally NEVER hint at a possible cause for his arrival in game, I think. We're just. Left. With this.

What the fuck.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Dolonia

Dolonia is defined as: a state of unease prompted by people who seem to like you too much, which makes you wonder if they must have you confused with someone else—someone flawless, selfless, or easy to understand from a distance.

Potter rolled over, pressing his too hot, too sweaty body against Draco's. And in spite of the fact that he was altogether too hot, that he was sticky, and still breathing too heavy, he couldn't find it in himself to complain.

"That was good," Potter said, trailing his fingers over Draco's ribs, brushing back and forth lightly and leaving trails of electricity shaking through Draco's chest.

He hummed, hoping it sounded aloof and noncommittal, like he wasn't trying too hard and didn't care too much about Potter's opinion, anything to convince himself that that was the truth.

"Do you want to order in some food from the Thai place down the street?" he asked, "or maybe we could go out? There's that diner a couple of blocks away, y-"

"You want to eat with me?" he asked incredulously, because fucking was one thing and occasionally sleeping in the same bed after being too tired to move made sense. But going out and eating together was something else entirely.

"Yeah," Potter said, shrugging like it was no big deal. "I'm starving, aren't you? We haven't eaten since lunch and that case was no easy thing to solve."

"Yes," he conceded, "That's what the celebratory sex was for."

Potter laughed, that bright, delighted sound that made it seem like nothing in the world was wrong. "Sure, just." He sat up, looking down at Draco, eyes impossibly large and impossibly green, "do you not want to get food with me? It's fine if you don't," he added, "just say so and I'll leave you to it."

"It's not that I don't want to get food with you," he said with a frown, staring at the mole on Potter's neck to avoid looking into his eyes. "It's just that you seem to be making this into something that it's not."

"What do you mean?" he asked, fingers carding through Draco's hair and brushing the loose strands back off his face.

He rolled his eyes, trying to make himself seem less vulnerable than he actually felt. "It's like you don't remember who I actually am sometimes."

Potter laughed, "Of course I remember who you are. You're my annoying, prat of a partner, too brilliant for his own good. You're the idiot that I come in to work with every morning wondering what sort of chaos my day is about to hold because even simple robbery cases turn into something that has years of ancestral battles and blood magic tied into it. You have very particular tea habits, and you like everything just so. I drive you mad but you still put up with me in your bed anyway."

"You're a good fuck, Potter," he said flippantly.

With a laugh, Potter leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose, like casual affection was the sort of thing that they did. "I know you."

And that reminded Draco of where this had all started, "right, but it's like you don't remember all the other parts, all of the things that came before."

He shrugged, "Why would I? You aren't that person anymore, you don't believe those things, you've turned your entire life around."

"But I am still those things," he said, shaking his head. "Sure, I don't believe what I used to, but that doesn't change that I was raised in that culture, it doesn't change that I still go to have brunch with my parents at the manor every other Sunday, or that I know how to get my way in the Ministry, or that I'm an expert manipulator-"

"Hey," Potter said, cupping his cheek. "Hey. Relax. Take a breath," he said, lips pressing to the crease between Draco's eyebrows. "You're okay. We're okay."

"I'm don't-"

"I know who you are, Draco."

"But-"

He shook his head, "I know who you are. I remember all of the things there are to know about you. I know who you were, I know all of the work you've done to be different, I know who you are now. I know you," he repeated. "Just like you know me. It's what makes us such good partners in the office and out of it." He let out a soft self-deprecating chuckle, "Please don't think that you're the only one of the two of us who's spent the past fifteen years meticulously watching the other. I know you, Draco."

He frowned up at him, uncertain where this could be going then, if Potter consciously chose Draco with all of his faults and flaws instead of just for the convenience of it.

"I know you," he repeated, "and I want you." He shrugged, "I've just been waiting for you to be ready to hear it." He grinned at him, "So, what do you say? Dinner?"

And how could he say anything but yes?

[astudyinimagination]

Why is BBC Sherloc fandom so horrible to its female characters?!

To be fair, not all of it is. Molly Hooper, Sally Donovan, and Mary Watson, especially, have fierce fans and defenders.

It's a thorny issue, Nonny. Some people will claim it's because of how the women are written. I call bullshit on that idea, because most people don't need a male character to be especially well-written to like him. Dr. Watson isn't particularly well-written in the ACD canon, and yet he is beloved! So... yeah, I believe that they believe that, but I call bullshit.

I've heard people say that Molly is pathetic, but they seem to have this idea of her that's locked on to season 1 and ignores all the character development she gets throughout the rest of the show. (It's also frankly mean to quiet girls who don't know how to stand up for themselves, and as a quiet girl who didn't used to know how to stand up for herself, I really hated that.)

Most hate for Sally Donovan is really just misogynoir, and I have zero problems calling it that. Sally's doing her job, and she's probably doing it better than Lestrade (a fandom darling) is.

Irene Adler... well, to be fair, that story is a mess. But also I at least haven't seen a lot of hate for her...

Janine, also not a lot of hate, but she is victimized by both her boss and Sherlock, so I think she gets a pass, lol.

Mary Watson... hoooo boy. Mary was hated before she ever got to the screen, because a lot of people wanted so badly for their boys to get together, and Mary threatened that. And then she showed up and she was a delight and she sort of won people over for about two weeks, lol. Then she shot Sherlock, and people hated her even more. And I kind of get it, but also... two of my favorite characters of all time are a father and son who cut off each other's hands. I'm okay with some serious angst and drama and even violence between characters if it's not brushed under the rug, and Mary's actions were not brushed under the rug and it was very clear that Sherlock loved Mary and she ended up loving him back. So... I get that Mary is complicated, and that the writers over-complicated her. But, Your Honor, I still love her.

Eurus... dunno, I think by that point, people were too worked up about other things, and Eurus is also handled extremely messily, lol.

Mrs. Hudson is universally beloved, as she should be.

It does seem, in general, that if you have a story or set of stories where the main characters are all male, the fans are going to be hyper-focused on the guys and not pay that much attention to the girls. I could be wrong about that, but I can think of one or two others where that's the case.

But also in general, female characters are held up to much more scrutiny and much higher standards than male characters are, and the BBC Sherlock fandom is no exception. John Watson flew under the radar for years with a characterization that I never especially enjoyed, and very few people seemed to notice until he was cheating on his wife. We all have certain ideas about what our favorite characters are like, but John really benefited from a very cinnamon roll perception the fandom at large had of him, that also had very little basis in reality.

And I know a lot of people would be very angry with me for saying this, but I also think it's the truth: I think that sometimes, female character hate is just misogyny. Especially as it comes from real women. And I'm tired of seeing people here on Tumblr clutch their pearls about that. You can be female or AFAB, you can be politically left, you can be LGBTQ+, you can be a staunch feminist, and absolutely none of that protects you from misogyny coloring your thoughts because we are all born into a world that really hates women. And whether our parents hammer misogynistic ideals into us from a young age or not, they're all around us as we're growing up. Girls are held to higher standards of behavior than boys are. Men can make all the mistakes in the world and you just have to keep giving them chances, but God forbid a woman steps one millimeter out of line.

So yeah, I think that there's a lot of misogyny that goes on in fandom spaces, even left-leaning spaces, and I think that a lot of it is coming from inside the house. And I'm not saying that those people are Bad People TM. I'm saying that none of us are perfect, and deprogramming yourself from a lot of bad shit is a lot of work, and it's hard, and sometimes the shit that you missed surfaces in your fandom life. Which sucks. Nobody is evil for that, though — just human.

I'm not saying, either, that all dislike for the women of Sherlock is misogyny. I am saying that I think quite a lot of it is.

[divinedelusional]

hi!!! is there anyway you could write a like angsty season 1 Nate archibald fic where he like says a bunch of things he doesn’t mean to reader because of his dad or pressure with Blair or even anything you think of it’s up to you?? I love your fics they’re so so perfect 🤍

his darkest hour

nate archibald x fem reader

word count: 1697

warnings: angst, mentions antidepressants, nate being secretive and out of character ○ the only description of reader is that they have hair long enough to cover their face

a/n: thank you anon for sweet words and this request! i really liked it and it inspired me to turn this into three part mini series, so this is the first part! i hope you like it❤

"Nate where are you?"

"Y/N, hi, can you please come over to my place instead? Sorry, for such change, but..."

"It's okay Nate, I'll get a cab and I'll be there in five, is everything okay?" you asked, you didn't know if his voice just sounded weird on the phone, or something really was off.

"No, everything's fine" he replied, though you didn't quite believed him, you decided to drop it.

Couple minutes later you got off the cab on East 74th Street and let yourself in, as Nate texted you that doors are opened. You locked it behind you. You heard Nate coming down the stairs and heard his mom.

"Nate who is it?"

"It's me Mrs. Archibald" you said when you entered the living space after taking off your coat. Nate's mum must have been ready to go to bed even if it was only 6 pm. She was wearing a thick, bathrobe, silky pyjama pants and slippers.

"I'm sorry y/n if you'll want something from the kitchen you and Nate will have to help yourselves, I gave our maid a night off."

"It's okay, I'm sure we'll be fine, Mrs. Archibald" you noticed three pills beside her glass of water.

"Yeah mom, we're just going to study" Nate said. His mom smiled and you and Nate went to his room.

"Is she okay?" you asked. You knew Mrs. Archibald tended to rely on Valium or other medication, but she looked really tired.

"It's fine, it's just one of her migranes, she's been complaining on it lately."

"And your dad? Where is he?" you asked, again feeling like something is off.

"Oh you know him, always somewhere in business or whatever. Anyway, studying won't be done itself" Nate smiled, brushing the topic of his parents away.

"Right" you smiled back, getting the textbook out of your bag.

You quickly found out that you were suspicious for a reason. When you studied with Nate you always were reading some parts of text, revising material on your own, and then you were asking each other questions for test. You've been looking at Nate when you were supposed to read and sometimes he just was staring into one page. Then it was time for your quiz and Nate got almost all questions wrong.

"Nate?"

"What?" he asked with a tired voice rubbing his face.

"What's going on? And don't lie to me, because I know something is not right"

Nate looked at you and didn't say anything for a while.

"Practise was really tiring today you know, that's it" he said and then with sudden enthusiasm he told "We should run though this again, I'm sure I'll get this right this time". You didn't respond, just started questioning him again after short revision. This time he got everything right. You revised the rest of the material together and when you were sure you were ready for the test tomorrow Nate asked if you wanted to eat something. You both decided on sushi.

"Ugh I'm so glad this is over" Nate sighed and layed down on the carpet next to your spot, were you sat back rested against his bed.

"What is it over?" you smlied

"The study session. But it's not the worst, I just want school to be over, I didn't think the junior year will be that crazy"

"I don't think it's much crazier than previous" you smiled softly, looking down at him. He had his eyes closed and for the first time today you saw him being relaxed. You really wanted to stroke his hair, but you knew it wasn't possible. Even though you and your boyfriend called it quits two months ago, barely before the begging of school year, Nate still had things unsettled with Blair. Not like you were sure he'd want to be with you. You've been friends with him and Blair since forever so she wasn't even jealous of you spending time with her boyfriend. Although suddenly you realized that Blair wasn't as possessive of Nate as she was in the past. You were with her almost all the time at school and she was barely texting Nate this week. That was weird. Since Serena returned, Blair wanted to know where Nate was and with who, scared that he's been with her. Did something happened between your two best friends? Was it the reason why Nate seemed like he was somewhere else earlier today?

"It's just things with college and everything" Nate said.

"Why? You were so set on Dartmouth and you made a good impression at the college party, couple weeks ago."

"Well things change y/n."

"How do you mean Nate?"

"They just... ugh you know what, nevermind" Nate said "I gotta go downstairs to pick the sushi up, I don't want the delivery guy to wake my mom up"

You were left alone in his room, suddenly not hungry at all. Nate was hiding something and he didn't want to tell you and it was hurting you. You knew him since you guys were little kids, and you always were telling each other everything. It was you who Nate run to after the Shepherd's wedding when he lost his virginity to Serena. You never saw that look on his face before. He was terrified. Guilt visible in his features when he got into your room. You pulled him into a hug without asking. Then he told you what happened and lied down next to you, putting his head on your stomach as he started crying, begging you not to tell Blair. And you didn't even think of doing that. Nate's secret was safe with you. What was going on today, that he didn't want to tell you?

Nate came back with the sushi, you ate three rolls and waited untill he was finished, then you decided to ask.

"Nate what our relationship is to you?"

"Why are you asking?" he asked, his face went a little pale.

"Because I thought we were best friends and you refuse to tell me what's going on."

"Because not everything is that easy, y/n."

"You keep saying that and once everything was easy for us even when..."

"But it's not anymore y/n!" he raised his voice a little and got up off the floor.

You got up too but you didn't approach him.

"Why it isn't? What happened Nate?"

Nate groaned and looked through the window. You knew you shouldn't push him, but he never let go when you were dealing with something. And now you didn't want to leave him either, so you tried one more time, walking up to him and putting your hand on his shoulder.

"Nate, please I could help if you'd tell me..."

"But I don't want to tell you, what part of it you don't get?!!" he raised his voice at you, suddenly turning around. "There are some things I can't tell, or that I simply don't want to tell, okay?! Not everyone lives in a perfect bubble like you y/n!"

You took a step back. With anyone else you'd be ready to talk back, but not with Nate. He never acted like that and you knew that wasn't him. So you got scared and with a trembling voice you asked. "Nate what do you mean by that? Last time I checked you were rather happy with your life and how things were going"

"Yeah, but things aren't going as the were right now and until everything goes back to its place I don't want to talk about with anyone y/n"

"Of course I'm not going to... "

"No y/n!" he yelled. "By I don't want to talk about it with anyone I meant you too. Especially you" His breathing was slowing down, but anger wasn't disappearing from his eyes.

You didn't wanted to argue with him. You'd rather want to talk but he was making it clear he didn't need it right now. Didn't need to talk to you and didn't need you. He was ready for you to say something, but as you kept looking at him, he realized that you're not going to get into fight with him. You broke the eye contact and you picked up your purse. "Yeah you're right, Nate" you said with a sniffle. Your face not visible to him, as your hair covered it when you were packing up your books. "I should know my place, I'm not going to bother you anymore" you felt tear slipping down your cheek. Still hiding your face you said "good luck on history test tomorrow." You were just about to head out, when you felt Nate's hand on your wrist.

"Y/N, please" his voice desperate this time.

You raised your head to look at him and he saw you tear strained cheeks and let go of your wrist.

"Y/N I didn't want to..."

"Don't, Nate" you said, barely able to let words out, swallowing your tears. "I'm sorry, I have to go back to my perfect bubble now, but..." your voice trembled uncontrollably, you took one last look at his face "but when you wanna be honest, you know where to find me". With those words you run down the stairs and didn't look back.

"Y/N! Wait! Please I didn't mean it like that!" you heard Nate calling you and running downstairs too, but you were already at the door with your shoes and coat on, as run outside, hoping that a cab will be nearby.

When Nate made it outside, you weren't there anymore. He saw a cab disappearing. Archibald's didn't have a doorman so he couldn't ask where you head off. He sat on the stairs, not caring about cold wind. He buried his face in his hands wondering why he acted like such a jerk. He knew one thing. He had to come up with a plan to make it up to you and tell you everything he should've told you today. He got up and came into the house wondering how he'd do that because he had no one to turn to. He brushed this thought away. It was his mess and he had to clean it up.

next part

reblogs and comments highly appreciated♡

natie's taglist: @lanawinterscigarettes @luluartpop if anyone else wants to be added please let me know

[eager-wolfboy]

"See, drones have many purposes! For example.." A certain someone was chattering away, pressing buttons and pulling levels all around the control panel to the sides of them. I stifled the urge to crack a joke about what a good drone they make.

We were both in some VR game, flying in her spacecraft. Maybe to some, being immersed into a video game that's basically space roadtrip simulator isn't really good second date material, but with all the friends I've had over the years, in being shown shows and movies I'd never even heard of before, this felt like a natural progression in a state of casual emotional intimacy... Also space cool.

It was already an excruciatingly hard task to focus on anything other than them; we were practically snuggling in their pilot seat. They're really warm, and she sometimes was flying so contently that it's like they became one with the ship.

It was really cute.

And by really cute, I mean distracting.

The little task managers and gauges were flitting all around the control panel and windows definitely didn't help either. And, to top it all off, we were in the middle of a fucking asteroid belt. Everything simultaneously felt so small, and yet, larger than life. It was.. overwhelming, to say the least.

But to them, it was second nature, even though they'd told me they hadn't played this game in a long while. They must've sensed my confusion, because they pointed to the asteroid right in front of us.

"See all the glowing dots there?"

I nodded.

"Those are all drones that I just launched, so I can access the core inside. Nowww," they said as she looked over the seat and starting flying in reverse.

"Watchhhhh..." they finagled with some more buttons on a sidepanel.

".....This!"

Instantly, the asteroid exploded! A beautiful, bright display of colors burst through the rock, and shards were shooting out in all directions. They beamed, and I felt my tail wag at the sight.. Never mind that the wagging squished us even closer together.

After a few moments, only some big asteroid chunks in a smoky fog were left. Their face soured.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I forgot what these kinds of asteroids were made out of," they said seriously, "We're going in to extract the cores, and it's going to get, like, super cold. Like, be prepared to learn what absolute zero feels like."

"It'll be far from absolute zero," Missy, her owner, warmly piped up in that charming, matter-of-fact way. Though she was technically the pilot seat we were snuggling on, her voice sounded like it was coming through the spaceship's intercom, "And even if it was, hon, the simulation would only make it feel like a cool breeze. But even those effects can be disabled..."

She trailed off, as if unsure if she should ramble about the game more, but I hoped she could feel the tension melting out of me at her words. They were soothing to hear, especially coming from one of the developers of the game. Though I'm sure if I called her a developer, she'd gently correct me to whatever fancy schmancy title she actually got.

Emboldened by her assurance, I giggled, "Well, that's ok! I can handle a little cold! And I know lots of ways to warm you up!~" I shimmied even closer, practically on their lap now.

"Oh?"

They turned to look at me, eyes flicking up and down, with a flirty cute smirk. Stars, they're adorable.

"Yeah!" I nodded, voice deepening just a little to match the vibe, "Like... get you a sweater, or a mug of hot cocoa or something."

We shared a few chuckles, before they quickly pecked me on the lips. Then it felt like my whole body was burning. As they headed into the wreck and started extracting the asteroid cores, I'd gotten chills of a whole different kind.

[vierlieben]

Heavenly.

choi san x f!reader

genre: fluff

desc.: your boyfriend came home, feeling like the entire world is on his back. as a loving and caring girlfriend, you did something for him to make him feel not just "better", but "heavenly".

wc: 1,059

the hands of the clock told you that it's now 6:45 pm. then you continued washing the dishes. the sink's loaded after baking cookies for an order. you have been standing for like ten minutes now in here.

you know that any moment, your boyfriend would find you doing the dishes and would give you a warm back hug. as you were just thinking about that, you felt something pressed onto your body; arms wrapped around your waist, head resting on your shoulder.

you didn't even hear San enter the apartment, all you can hear is the flowing water—the faucet's loud as hell.

"well, good evening to you, mister." you greeted with a sweet tone.

you were thinking that he was just sleepy or lazy to talk, as how he always is when he gets home—but no, his head resting on your shoulder right now is heavier than ever. it is like the entire world is on your back. San is putting all of his head's weight on your shoulder but you didn't mind at all.

"hey," you turned your head to him, quickly finishing the dishes. "love, are you alright?"

you felt him shake his head lazily. few seconds passed and you are finally done with these damn dishes. you quickly dried your hands and turned around to see him; his eyes are half opened, shoulders almost dropping on the floor, and you can also feel the weight that he's carrying right now although you don't know what's going on yet.

"come here, what's wrong?" you wrapped your arms around his upper body, he rested his head on your shoulder again. "rough day at work? exhausted? tell me, baby..."

the caressing on his back made him feel calmer. San sighed so deeply. "i am not going to have rough days at work for a while because the investors in our company are now gone..."

you felt like tearing up when you heard that tone. it was low, and sad... this is your first time hearing your boyfriend talk like this and it's breaking your heart.

"oh, baby..," you gave him a couple of pats on his back. "you're going to be alright. i mean, it's fine to feel that way for now. but we're going through this, okay?"

"i know.." his tone sounded a lot better now. "it's just... i don't know, it kind of hurt me. I've been working for that company for almost two years now and it's going to close out of nowhere. i am just going to miss them. plus, i don't think i could ever stand being just here all day, doing and earning nothing."

"no, love, shush," you broke the hug and looked straight to his eyes. "come on, it's going to be fine. i will help you find a new job. but for now, the world won't end if you would just stay at home for a while with me, right? i will take care of you."

he painted an upside down smile and pulled you again for a hug. "alright then.. i just couldn't help but to feel bad. but I'm fine now that i head those from you."

"yeah..." you caressed his back once again. "would you do me a favor?"

you know so well that San is kind of workaholic... well, it's because he wants to earn and earn for his and your future together. he likes to invest in big things. he's been very helpful when it comes to financial problems, especially to his friends. that's one of the millions of things that you love about him—he is truly reliable, dependable all the time.

he can't stand it whenever he's not doing something productive. well, if it's not a job to work on, he'll be all over you; spoiling you, taking care of you as if you're a queen, taking you everywhere you'd like, just EVERYTHING. sometimes you'd feel bad because he's just doing things for you and often forgets to do something for himself, but then he would reassure you that he's fine and would finally do something about it just so you won't feel bad anymore.

"what favor?" he asked back.

"will you please stop thinking about getting a job for a while? maybe a month or two? just... i want you to get some rest, you need that. we have more than enough here, my love. what's very important right now is that you get some relaxation and time for yourself. everything's taken care of, keep that in mind. will you?" you asked him with the calmest, sweetest tone ever—the one that he won't even dare to disagree with.

he nodded, his head still on your shoulder but now lighter. "i will, baby. thank you, i love you. maybe i have been overworking a bit... i will rest for now."

"perfect," your eyes shined. you broke the hug and kissed his forehead. "now, come with me. i'll do something to make you feel better."

"but i already feel better—"

"just shut it and come with me," you glared at him, and he looked at you with his eyes smiling.

"how's that feel?"

San feels like dreaming — like he's on the clouds and there are angels singing for him.

he didn't answer your question yet. the whole bathroom is filled with nothing but silence.

he's like a child sitting on the toilet while you are shampooing and massaging his head. this is the kind of therapy that he's been craving for—too bad, why did you just think of it now? you could have made him feel good in this way before.

"hey? are you sleeping?" you whispered.

"i don't know what to say..." he whispered back, you almost didn't hear it. "heavenly..."

you smiled at the thought that maybe he's feeling so good. he really does. you're glad that you're finally making him feel this way...

"you should do this to me everytime that I'm taking a bath..." he murmured, eyes still closed. "will you?"

"you don't even have to ask." you replied. "i have been also wanting to do this but you take quick baths, how's that possible?"

he chuckled. "afraid to be late at work."

you two laughed silently.

"i'd do this to you as well, baby." he added. "maybe reward me with a kiss?"

"how many kisses are we talking about?"

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(this is part 3 of my javery fanfic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 2↓

AVERY

If there's one thing Avery had learned as a 21 year old philanthropist, it's that it doesn't matter how rich you are or how many people you have working for you, if you want something done correctly, you have to do it yourself. 

She was beyond frustrated as she walked into the foyer of the Hawthorne House. It still gave her the same homely comfort. She couldn't wait to go to bed and fall asleep with Jameson wrapped around her. She missed seeing him awake. She sometimes hoped that he couldn't fall asleep so that they could talk and spend some time together. 

Where was he? She stopped walking when she saw Lyra in the solarium with a cigarette in one hand and a glass in the other. 

I should ask her. 

"Hey" 

"Oh look who decided to show up" Lyra seemed annoyed to Avery, but she couldn't make out why. 

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"What's wrong? You didn't even show up to your own birthday party!" 

"Wha-" realisation dawned on Avery mid-sentence. Her blood turned to ice as Lyra grew even more pissed than before.

"You're seriously not telling me you forgot your own birthday. I bet you don't even remember about last night's dinner plan with your beau." 

Dinner pla- the card. Oh no. 

She had it with her, but she'd forgotten to solve the riddle on it. But Lyra seemed agitated enough already, so she stayed quiet. 

"I'm so sorry, Ly. I'm so, so sorry. Where is everyone?"

Where is Jameson? 

"All about the house. I haven't seen Jamie, either. Maybe he's still waiting in the miserable little party room" she sassed, Avery couldn't blame her.

Her thoughts came to a screeching hault as she went to the ballroom. It was covered in platinum and violet decorations and a banner that said 'Happy Birthday to the Prettiest Girl on Earth!' It was gorgeous. Guilt hit her like a brick.

How many occasions like this had she missed and didn't know? 

"Avery?" 

"Xander."

"Where were you?" He said with a frown. Xander Hawthorne almost never frowned. She didn't answer Xander's question and instead asked her own.

"Where's Jameson?" 

"I don't know. He's probably tryna catch a breath in the solarium or the passageways." 

"Catching a breath?"

Yep. I've screwed up.

"Yeah. He seemed upset. We waited for you for two hours in a crouch. We're going to have a funeral for our toes," he told her. He didn't put his usual xander-esque sarcastic flair to it. 

Correction: I've screwed up, bad. 

Avery called Oren over and told him to find Jameson. 

In the time that Avery, Grayson and Xander got to Jameson's wing, everyone else had also started searching for him and tried to call him. She slipped inside his room. It always smelled so… him. He still wore the same perfume she got for him on his birthday. She pushed aside the nostalgia and started looking for anything that was out of order. So far, everything was normal - messy room, chair piled full of clothes. Pictures of her on his nightstand. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the bathroom door slightly ajar.

"We found nothing. Did you?" 

She could not did not answer Grayson and Xander as she pushed the bathroom door. It gave out a long squeak, as if to make a grand entrance to the horror it was. She heard Xander gasp and Grayson suck in a breath.

The mirror was shattered into a million pieces. The cracks were concentric, meaning he'd probably punched it. He had punched it, considering the crimson in the sink. Avery saw a thousand reflections of herself in the gleaming pieces. She recognised none. How could I have been so blind? She could feel the dread and panic brewing in her gut.

A box lay on the ground. She gingerly picked it up. 

"I'll go see if Oren found out anything" said Grayson, and took Xander away with him.

-------------------------------------------

"He did what?" Avery said in disbelief.

"He was last seen at the airport." 

"And that's all you found out?" Asked Grayson.

"Yes. They said they were legally restrained from sharing the whereabouts of a person's private jets or their destinations." 

"He got a plane? When?" How would've been the better question, but she chose the indirect path of questioning. She knew he frequently visited the devil's mercy. He'd won The Annual Game twice now. She didn't know what he traded the winner's seal for the second time, but it was clearly enough to buy a plane. Another blow of guilt hit her at how different things were the first time he'd won versus now.

"An year ago. Probably to avoid getting found in situations such as this one."

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Did she miss more dates and break more promises than she would have liked? Yes. But he couldn't just up and go whenever and wherever. He couldn't fly off with zero explanations leaving her worried and confused.

He couldn't just leave like that.

Avery decided to ask Grayson to use his… resources, but he was already on the phone with his PI.

"It's getting late, kid. We should all get some sleep" said Nash, who'd spoken for the first time since the discussion started. Everyone started going back to their rooms. But Grayson followed Avery.

"Avery, wait." She turned around, knowing why he'd stopped her.

"I'm alright, Grayson, really. And he'll come back, I'm sure. This isn't him."

"And this didn't used to be you, either. But here we are."

"What does that mean?"

"It means Jamie isn't just 'coming back.' You're family, Avery. You've been one of us ever since you came here. But we've all seen you two for the last few years" he stopped talking, as if struggling to say what came after.

"You were there without really being there. And I understand, it's not easy, being so young and changing the world. Jamie waited for you and accepted bits and pieces because he loves you too much. But you did break his heart, and you weren't even there to witness it. You didn't even notice until he disappeared."

-------------------------------------------------

Avery got to her room and shut the door.

She pulled out the card- the one that Jameson gave her. It was a fairly easy riddle, easy because he might've been thinking she wouldn't waste spend too much time solving it.

Rrain oon oour rooffs imittates the soound of clapps blaaring in a ttheatre. <3

You just had to pluck out the unnecessary letters. And when the less-than symbol was inverted and attached to the 3, the kiss symbol looked like an 8.

Rooftop at 8. It said rooftop at 8pm, for a dinner plan. Probably followed by stargazing, as she loved to do. She'd rant about starts and constellations; how she felt slightly humbled staring at them, and Jameson would just listen fondly. She'd taken him for granted, hadn't she? And she could bet she hasn't been much humble at times, either.

But she'd always loved him.

She just hadn't shown it. That was probably one of her biggest regrets.

And then, only in the privacy of her room could she manage to open the box. She could not open it in that bathroom and risk crying in front of everyone. The tears started falling only after she flipped open the lid.

Nestled inside was an emerald-studded ring.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Falling for You | Choi Yeonjun

Summary: You like Yeonjun, and he knows it. But what happens when you figure out he just might like you too? Pairing: f!reader Noona x Yeonjun, f2l (age gap 2 or 3 years, take your pick lol) Word Count: 3.6k a/n: I am so so so so so sorry to my anon that sent this a while ago! I hope it was worth the wait <3 p.s. not edited well because I was happy I finished it and wanted to post it asap! Let me know what you think!~

"I didn't know you were such an adrenaline junkie" Yeonjun says while fastening my harness and pulling the straps tighter, making sure everything is secure. "Why do you say that?" I ask, ultimately knowing but not wanting to admit it. "Well you've been here like 4 time since I started working here and I just started last month" he says laughing at what he probably believes is my clueless nature. "I don't know, it's exhilarating. Plus it was my first time so I don't know I guess I've been addicted ever since" I finish off getting a bit defensive but ultimately it's the truth. 

"You know, in another context that could sound really dirty" he teases making my cheeks heat up. "Yeonjun!" I scold hitting his arm, looking around to make sure no one had heard him. "What? Am I wrong?" he says, clearly loving my reaction. "No you're not but aren't you supposed to be acting professional while at work?" I question, crossing my arms over my chest. He ended up getting a job at an adventure park with bungie jumping, sky diving and zip lining, amongst other not so extreme activities.   

"Yeah but I don't need to act professional in front of you because you're my friend right?" he laughs, making excuses for himself. "Yes we're friends but still!" I argue, "Aw are you getting shy?" he teases, tilting his head at me. "You wish" I say scoffing at him, fed up with his cocky attitude already. Deep down though he knows I'm loving this...and that's the dangerous part. 

I like Yeonjun, and he knows that. I've liked him for years but we've never actually addressed it and he hasn't acted on it. Which pretty much shows me he doesn't feel the same way. So this is what we do, I act like I can't stand him but go out of my way to not so subtly be around him. Where as he does everything in his power to tease me until he gets a reaction out of me. Which honestly isn't very hard when it comes to him. 

That's been our friendship dynamic for years now and I don't want to mess that up, even if it means that we can't be together the way I want us to. "You ready to go? You know the drill so if you're all set I'll get you hooked up" he says referring to the zip lining contraption. You know, I might've been here multiple times already but I still don't know any of the proper terminology besides harness and carabiner, the latter being one Yeonjun had made fun of me for calling it 'the clippy thing' just today.

"As ready as I'll ever be" I say taking everything in. "Hey, you've done this before so don't let it psych you out" he says in a softer tone, placing a hand on my chin and pulling my face back over to his, my eyes now focusing on the floor not wanting to make eye contact with him. "Eyes on me Pretty" he says and I snap my eyes up to his but take a step back when I start choking on air. 

"Cute" he chuckles at me before bringing me back over to get hooked onto the zip line. I walk with him and let him drag me along, still caught off guard by the pet name and end up overthinking and spacing out until I get to the front of the line. "Oh hello again!" the girl that works on getting people ready to go on the line says. We've spoken a few times and she seems really nice but sometimes I get a bit insecure seeing her interactions with Yeonjun. 

"Hey!" I respond, still kind of unsure if I want to do this again. "Hey!" Yeonjun yells over to me, "Just close your eyes when you take off and count to 10 then open your eyes, that's when the best part comes into view". I nod my head at him and turn back around to face the girl as she helps me get connected. 

"You and Yeonjun seem pretty close" she says, clearly fishing for information. "Yeah we've been friends for a few years so I guess you could say that" I say. "Oh you guys are just friends? I could've sworn you were his girlfriend" she says with her brows slightly pinched together. "What would make you say that?" I ask, my heart beating a little faster. "I mean he talks about you all the time so I thought that maybe..." 

"Oh no, yeah we're um, yeah we're just friends" I say awkwardly after gaining that new piece of information and looking back over to him. "You know, if you like him you should ask him out" she says following my gaze to see him smiling and laughing with another one of their coworkers. "No I couldn't, plus I'm a few years older so I don't know" I say getting kind of embarrassed at the fact that I've admitted that I have a crush on a younger guy, and not only that but a close friend that's a younger guy.

"Wouldn't that be a bit weird?" I question, bringing my attention back over to her. "I don't think so. I mean it's not like you're 40 years old or something. Two or three years isn't that bad. Just think about it, I've seen you here so many times and I know for a fact that you both would make a really cute couple" she finished.

"I don't know about that" I say still turned towards her. "Don't know about what?" Yeonjun says sneaking up on me. "Don't sneak up on me like that! Do you see how far that fall is?" I scold and point towards the forest hundreds of feet bellow us. "You would've been fine silly. Plus you're already hooked up to the line. What's been taking you so long? I thought you went already" he asks, puzzled and looking back and forth between me and his coworker that I had been talking to.

"We were just catching up a bit" she says with a smile making an easy excuse. "You know Summer" he asks, speaking to me while pointing at the girl that I now know as Summer. "Yeah I've helped her out a few times since she's been here" she says and he nods, pacified with that answer. 

"So are you ready to go now?" he asks, double checking what I can assume is my harness, making sure I'm as safe as I can be. "I guess so" I answer again, kind of losing the thrill of the activity because of what Summer had just told me. 'Should I really ask him out?' I think to myself. "Noona?" he calls for me. "Huh? Did you say something?" I ask, feeling bad that I had spaced out on him. 

"I asked if you would like me to go with you? We can race if you want! Then I'll walk you over to the next thing you have planned. Skydiving right?" he asks trying to recall my agenda for the day. "No not yet, after this I'm going bungie jumping and then sky diving to finish out the day" I say filling him in once again.

"Sorry, with so many people that come here I sometimes get things mixed up" he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck which is strange since things like these aren't usually what gets him acting like this. In fact I don't think I've ever seen him act like this "It's fine Yeonjun don't worry about it. So are we gonna race or not?" I ask deciding to just move past what could turn into an awkward conversation. "Sure, just give me a sec and I'll put on a harness" he says and runs off to do as he's said. 

"Did you see that?" Summer asks, "See what?" I question back. "How he wanted to help you when you get to the other side and how he offered to race you to make you less scared and how embarrassed he got with the fact that he forgot the order you're going in today, how much he lit up when you asked him if he still wanted to race how-" "Okay Summer, okay I get it" I laugh cutting her off. "Well, if you don't ask him out soon then I'll ask him out for you if you want?" she questions trying to help me out. 

"That would be even more embarrassing than just doing it by myself" I say shaking my head and getting nervous just thinking about it. "What would be embarrassing?" Yeonjun asks, this time thankfully not sneaking up me. "Nothing don't worry about it. You ready?" I ask, trying to run away from this conversation. "Yeah um, sure" he says getting even more suspicious with us than he had been before. 

"Just think about it okay?" Summer says when she comes back around after double checking Yeonjun's connection for him and now triple checking mine for an excuse to encourage me one last time to which I just nod and get myself mentally prepared for this zip line as well as the prospects of potentially asking him out myself. "Alright guys, three...two...one...GO!" Summer yells and we both set off with Yeonjun just a second faster than me, already gaining a clear lead. 

"Hey that's not fair!" I yell, laughing at his awkward position which makes him go a lot faster, knowing that I wouldn't dare do something like that. "Hurry up then!" he says going back to sitting normally to which I take advantage of and decide to try out what he had been doing before, zooming past him. "Noona! Not fair!" he whines behind me and tries his best to catch up. "Hurry up then" I tease using his own words against him and this all goes on back and forth until we finally reach the end with me finishing just a second or two before him. 

"I took it easy on you" he says making excuses for his loss. "Sure you did" I taunt, knowing full well that he pretty much did. "That's the last time though! I want a rematch!" he demands, needing to regain a sense of pride. "Maybe next time, come on let's go!" I say excitedly and drag him right along with me. 

The walk to the bungie jumping area isn't too far off and it's spent still bickering with each other about the results of the race. "Fine you won, but I'm gonna go upside down when we go bungie jumping and then I'll win this round" he says and speeds up, trying to get there first. "Hey! You can't win at bungie jumping, you either jump or you don't jump, that's it." I argue, failing to see his logic. 

"Yeah but we can one up each other" he retorts and gets in line. "Fine, then I'll go upside down too" I say once I catch up to him. "Wait really?" he asks, completely surprised that I would even say that, let alone go through with it. 

"Why? Are you trying to get me to back out so you can win?" I say raising a brow at him. "So there is a winner" he says and pokes my side, to which I return with a slap of his arm. "By your logic, yes there is. But if we both go upside down then it's a tie which means I'm still in the lead" I say, satisfied by the outcome, but only if I actually do it.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" he asks. "Is that even a questions? You go first" I say and push him in front of me in line. "Fine but don't chicken out after I go because you think it's 'too scary' he says in air quotes. I give him a sarcastic smile and a wack him in the arm as a response. "OW!" he yell, obviously playing it up. "Well then stop making fun of me and just go" I say showing him it's his turn already.

I watch every step they take in hooking him up to make sure I'll be mentally prepared for my turn. "You got this loser" I yell as encouragement after they put him in position and he does nothing but smile in response. "Alright you ready?" the worker asks and Yeonjun sends a quick nod before they give him a countdown from three and drop him a few seconds afterwards. I lean forward a bit to try to get a better look at him but by his screaming and laughing alone I can really tell he's having a great time.

"Noona oh my gosh that was so fun!" he says coming over and giving me a hug enveloping my whole body, probably in an effort to steady himself on his feet. "You ready?" he asks with a huge smile and I can't help but laugh and say yes after seeing how happy he seems. A few seconds later though, that's another story. 

"Wait Yeonjun, can't I just go the regular way?" I plead, questioning all of my life choices up until this moment. "Nope, you promised me that you would do it if I did" he scolds. "I did no-" "Shhh" he quiets me before telling the guys I'm ready to go. They start placing everything they could possibly need to to keep me from dying on my ankles as well as answer any of my questions and assuring me I'll be fine. 

"Hush you'll be fine, just tell them when you're ready" Yeonjun says, peer pressuring me into doing it. "Fine" I mumble before letting the guys know. As they start to hoist me up into the contraption that drops me I shut my eyes trying to imagine myself anywhere but here. "Noona open your eyes!" to which I shake my head just enough for him to notice, not daring to make any sudden movements. 

"Open your eyes or I'll kiss you" he yells and at that my eyes open as wide as they possibly could seeing him with a smug smile before giving me the countdown. "Three..." "Yeonjun no!" "Two" "No stop I'm done playing get me down!" and before I hear him say one I feel myself drop and get the wind knocked out of me. Once I regain some air in my lungs after the first bounce I start to scream which slowly turns into laughing like crazy just as Yeonjun had done moments before. 

"How was it? It was amazing right?" he says with a huge smile on his face, still so amused at my reactions before the drop. "OW!" he says rubbing his forearm after having hit him for a second time. "Next time listen to me!" I say and try to take a step but stumble backwards a bit, still needing to regain my center of gravity. "Careful there" Yeonjun says pulling me back up by my harness. 

My eyes widen at the proximity between us now and I look up at him and he leans closer until his nose brushes against mine with my eyes closing shut getting flustered by everything about him. "I guess I shouldn't kiss you since you opened your eyes back there huh?" he whispers and before I'm able to process what he's said he's already ten steps ahead of me. 

"Hey!" I yell and jog to catch up with him. "What was that about?" I ask him with a deep crease between my brows which he puts his thumb on to encourage me to stop furrowing my brows. "What was what about?" he asks, playin dumb. 

"You know, all that kissing talk" I say deciding not to shy away from the subject. "Why? Did you want me to kiss you Noona?" he asks with a devilish smile with his eye facing forward keeping an eye on where we're going. "I didn't say that" I retort, unamused with this entire conversation but taking advantage to look up at his side profile nonetheless. "Sure you didn't. Race you to the airport!" he says and takes off running. "Hey! No fair!" I yell and run after him anyways even with no chance in hell of beating him.

"Took you long enough" he says cheekily, already having the chance to catch his breath while waiting for me. "Your legs are longer than mine are" I pant, with my hands on my knees. "You okay?" he asks, placing a hand on my back. "Peachy keen" I say, almost having calmed my breathing down after a minute or so. 

"Drink this" he says and hands me a bottle of water, to which I gulp down half of it. "Thirsty huh?" he says with a smirk and I roll my eyes at him, not bothering to dignify his statement with a verbal response but he takes satisfaction with what little I've given nonetheless. 

"So are you ready?" he asks when I've finally gotten back to normal. "Yeah but I haven't done this one before so I don't know what I should be doing" I admit. "It's fine let me teach you, that's what I'm here for right?" he says with a genuine smile. "Right" I say, matching his smile and he walks me through all of the procedures and safety precautions. 

"Did you want to go with me or did you want one of the other instructors to go with you?" he asks. "How would it be a competition if we went together? I'll go with one of the other instructors silly" I say, surprised by his question and pushing his shoulder a bit to go grab them. "And you better go with one too so it's even!" I yell after him as he jogs over to where they're at. 

Once we get up in the air and are close to jumping I notice that Yeonjun starts to space out a bit. "Are you okay?" I ask concerned as to if he should actually be jumping or not. "Yeah no I'm fine don't worry about it" he says and we both get pulled away from the conversation to get hooked up to each of our respective instructors. 

"Hey!" Yeonjun yells at me before we jump. "What?" I yell back so he knows for sure I've heard him. "Will you go out with me?" he yells and jumps off right after leaving me stunned. "You ready?" the guy I'm jumping with asks me. "Um yeah" I say and he gives me a countdown before we drop out of the plane. 

Falling through the sky is a feeling that I can't even begin to describe, with the wind in my face and seeing how tiny everything looks from up here it's actually insane. I'm not able to focus on that though ever since Yeonjun asked me if I would go out with him. Was he kidding? Was he just trying to tease me? How am I supposed to respond once we finally parachute down and we're back on the ground. 

I'm broken out of my train of thought when the guy behind me asks me if I'm okay since I haven't hardly made a sound. "Yeah I'm fine" I yell back. "Well then let me hear you say YEAH!!!" he yells, obviously trying to make sure that I'm actually not freaking out to which I respond to with a 'HELL YEAH' which seems to make him laugh.

Once we finally get close enough he pulls the tab to the parachute and we slowly but surely make our way back into the field next to the airport we had started out at. "So?" Yeonjun asks after coming over and helping me up off the ground. "So what?" I ask, not sure exactly what he's referring to since I'm still not sure if he meant what he said back there. 

"What's your answer?" he asks with a shy but excited smile, clearly hoping I say yes. Instead I grab one of the straps on his harness and pull him into me and kiss him, only lingering for a few seconds, although I want more. Once I pull back he rests his forehead against mine and whispers "Well I guess I got my answer then" before angling my face back up towards his to kiss me properly. 

Pushing back from him afterwards I push on his chest to create some distance between us as he's grabbed my waist in the meantime. "You better not make me regret this" I say giving him a stern look, making sure he'll take this seriously. 

"Don't worry Noona, I won't let you slip away"

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[stripedtabbycat]

i'm 4 episodes into the return and remembering why i loved watching this so much back in 2017. all of this fantastic surreal imagery was on my tv and i could watch dale cooper navigate various bizarre but oddly familiar landscapes in some kind of other dimension along with everyone else that summer. anyway my thoughts:

even when going through this strange purple room floating in space coop always takes the time to close the door after him. polite lad

sometimes i can watch people on tv throwing up with no issue and sometimes i have to look away lest i also gag. this time dougie throwing up on the carpet was fine but mr. c vomiting through his hands in the car was a little much

the only people to really notice something's wrong with "dougie" are jade (who tells him to get help and thinks he's had some kind of a stroke) and bill shaker's wife (who is visibly concerned throughout the interaction with him and asks skeptically "is he alright?") meanwhile almost everyone else has an almost comical but also kind of upsetting lack of reaction to him wandering about in a daze and not responding to most interaction and only speaking to repeat the last few words said to him. even janey-e, his wife, seems to just be like "yeah he's like this sometimes. we're still going to send him off to work like normal." i just feel so bad for coop during this whole section...not even directly telling a security guard "call for help" results in anyone actually helping

jade could have taken him to a hospital, but i get the sense she's dropping him off at the last place they were together so she can cover her tracks about being associated with him. because as we see he's got some people who have a hit out on him for some reason and besides that he's married. i'll bet that at least some people have had the fic idea of "what if cooper had regained his memory when he came back into the real world" or "what if cooper still had no memory of who he was but was lucid enough to communicate clearly with people around him" but idk if anyone's written it. it would probably be less interesting though to have him be his usual competent self the whole time - but cooper does make plenty of mistakes normally, so who knows how things might have gone. he probably was never going to come back as himself anyway because of the complications introduced by the creation of "dougie jones" in the first place

(one of the reviews i was reading along with the series the first time around said that even if the return had been 50 episodes long it still would have been the right decision not to bring cooper's memory back until 2 episodes before the finale. i'm inclined to agree)

we see the remaining fbi gang again, gordon and albert and new addition tammy, and also denise as the chief of staff! this is where we get the famous "fix your hearts or die" line, which is a great response and i like how it's caught on even outside the series, but...i also can't help but remember that before saying that gordon is also kind of not-so-subtly blackmailing denise by reminding her that he's been supportive but also has a lot of dirt on her that he's kept private all these years. and this in response to her questioning his motives for bringing along another young attractive new agent on this highly classified case. (does that mean coop was one of those agents in the past. what does this imply.) early example of this season and the associated supplementary material presenting gordon cole and his motives in a slightly more sinister light than the funny loud lynch cameo fbi guy we know from the original series

the classic peaks score is finally back as we hear the return's first instance of laura's theme, as bobby sees laura's picture for what might be the first time in 25 years. then we also have what i believe is the first original non-diegetic score music for the season, as this light whimsical theme plays during the scene of coop-as-dougie bonding with his little boy over breakfast. it almost sounds like something from a pixar movie, i thought, like the score from up. unique for this show

i could write something about what it means that bobby briggs is now on the police force, but i might save that for later. (or not. there's that post about characters becoming cops after a timeskip, and i think a lot about how often characters who were former teen delinquents or troublemakers becoming police officers in the future is meant to show they've developed positively and turned their lives around, and rarely that they've sold out to the establishment they used to be against. i don't think that this show ever really presents its small-town police department as corrupt or inherently flawed, except for a few individuals like chad here. in fact i think chad is the only "bad" cop we see in twin peaks the town, everyone else is generally upstanding decent people who just weren't able to save laura or really solve any of the problems plaguing their town - we hear about a teenager overdosing at the high school recently and they all know the kid and mourn his loss, they just have to find out where these damn drugs are coming from. could also say something about them blaming it on "chinese designer drugs", i suppose.)

lucy being thrown off by mobile phones is foreshadowed in the missing pieces scene where she's surprised to see the guys come up from the basement after she was just talking to them on the intercom

ordinarily bluntly expository dialogue like "as you know, your brother harry s. truman is my godfather" is considered bad writing but here given how these characters talk...it works.

the roadhouse has really become a hot spot in the intervening years, with a new band playing to a full house every night. on my first watch i kind of zoned out during or skipped over these performances because i didn't prioritize listening to non-relevant songs during my tv watching, but now i'm taking the time to let them play out. i rarely listen to music on my own but i might find a playlist of all of these and listen to that on its own afterwards, just to see what the lyrics are and all, because these songs really do fit the vibe

[novalein]

(Cross posting from Wattpad) (Part 7/13)

Soon enough, Rantaro arrived and the two of you settled down on the couch while you waited for the pizza to arrive. Your cat also hopped on Rantaros lap, making herself comfortable the way she always did.

"So, [Name], what's bothering you?" He asked, almost like a therapist, which made you feel bad for always dumping everything on him.

You took a deep breath before starting. "Well... like you know I met up with Kaede not so long ago. And we wanted to... find a solution to maybe make it work anyway. The first option was remote working so I could accompany her on her trips then and there but... my boss told me she can't offer me to do that yet." You started.

"And... you know how much I like her. I really want to find a way and... I've been debating wether or not a long distance relationship could be a part of the solution." Rantaro nodded, listening carefully.

"So... now you want to know wether or not that'd be a thing you should do?" You also nodded in return. "Yeah. Sometimes it's hard for me to think logically about things like that... especially when it comes to her. I guess it's sort of a weak spot..." You chuckled awkwardly, rubbing your neck.

"And I need you, the amazing neutral and logical person, to help me out." You beamed at him cheekily. He just laughed at that.

"I see. Well... the issue here is that it wouldn't be like a typical long distance relationship. At one point, the people decide to move in together, which would break the distance. But Kaede so far doesn't plan on settling down to one place." He says as you nod.

"That means you'd be in a long distance relationship for a long amount of time. And we're not just talking about two years. Maybe five, maybe ten, maybe even fifteen years. So you'll have to think about it like that instead."

You hummed in response at his words. He isn't wrong, as always. "Yeah, that makes sense. It's a thing that will probably last long term for her." You murmured to yourself. "I just... don't want to give up on our relationship. I've never liked, let alone loved, anyone like I've done with her."

"As sad it is to say this, you two wouldn't work out in the long run. I know you, you want physical closeness over anything. With different time zones and all, it'd make things very difficult between the two of you. Perhaps it'd go fine for some time before you realise you need more which will then ruin you guys' relationship." He explained thoroughly once more. You played with your hair as you thought about his words. He isn't wrong. Yet again. God, are you sure he's your age?

"Yeah. I guess I'll have to consider that all before talking to her again. I've... kind of been ghosting her." You admitted. He tilted his head. "Ghosting her?"

You looked at him sheepishly. "Yeah. She's been texting me quite a lot recently and... I didn't want to do to much just in case it wouldn't work after all. And... well... I didn't reply to her at all today."

"Ah, I see. Well, I don't blame you. I'm sure that was a roller coaster of emotions seeing her again." He said as the doorbell finally rang.

You gave him a nod as you stood up, grabbing the pizza from the delivery guy and sitting back down on the couch. Talking to him really has helped you a lot as you got the view of someone else on this, even though it was a habit that you wanted to let go of. The two of you started eating the pizzas while you held up some casual small talk.

He truely was a saint, helping you out like that. You'd be sure you would've lost your mind if you tried to come up with a solution on your own.

Your running thoughts were temporarily silenced as you spent the evening with Rantaro.

You had made your mind up on what your decision might be. You'd have to call Kaede for that later.

It was now nine p.m.

Rantaro had just left, leaving you alone to your thoughts again. You saw the messages from Kaede, the ones you ignored.

The last message was sent just one hour ago, asking if you're okay, probably because you've left her on delivered for 13 hours now. You took a deep breath and decided to just call her instead of texting her and explaining her the situation.

The phone rings for a little while before Kaede picks it up. Her was soft, almost self conscious.

"...Hi [Name]."

"Hey, Kaede." You replied before quickly getting to explaining. "I'm sorry for not replying. I've... had to think things through." You say as she hums.

"I see." She quietly replied. She definitely took that personally.

You brush that thought away. She's your ex who decided to cling onto you again. It wasn't your fault. Or so you said to assure yourself.

"We really need to talk about this. About us. I've... thought a lot on what to do. It's sort of left me confused at first but... I've come to a decision." You told her.

"...personally or over phone call?"

"Whichever you prefer."

Silence fell on the two of you for a moment. "I'd prefer to meet up." Kaede replied. You simply nodded.

"Sounds like the only logical option." You murmured.

"Can I come over right now?" She asked. Your eyes widened for a moment. "Definitely not what I expected." You thought to yourself, although a small 'sure' was the only thing you replied.

"I'll be there in... ten minutes." She replied before hanging up the phone.

You looked at your phone screen as her name disappeared from the screen. You gulped, anxiety building in your stomach. How would this go?

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

Today my polycule had an intervention for me.

That isn't something I ever thought I'd experience, honestly. I thought interventions were only used for addictions. I was wrong! Turns out they are also sometimes used for mental health issues, family dynamics, and a variety of other things.

These people sat down and talked about me and decided the right thing to do was sit me down and say to me all the things they had been saying to each other.

And I gotta tell y'all. I have never felt so viscerally loved as I did today. I have some issues, it's hard for me to recognize love as an action when receiving it from other people. But I recognized it today.

I won't go into too much detail because eating and sleeping are human necessities for both me and all of you. But the gist of it is this:

I let people hurt me. In unhealthy ways that damage me. And I have a friend, we've been friends for 20 years. We were lovers for a while. We raised our kids together for 7 years. What I'm saying is we're close. This woman has been a pillar of my life for literal decades.

And she's so bad for me. She hurts me so often, so casually, that I don't even register it a lot of the time. She's antisemetic at me. She's intersexist at me. She tries to pimp me out to her partners, tells them I'm a threesome option without even consulting me. She blatantly appropriates native traditions and practices directly from me and tells people I told her it was okay so she's allowed to represent my people, when I never said any such thing. She steals my ideas. She's always borrowing money she knows I can't afford to lend (and also knows I won't be able to say know if she says it's for her kid). The list goes on. And on. And on.

But I always see the best in people. I always make their excuses for them. Despite the fact that I know this is a problem. Despite the fact that I strongly advise others against that sort of behavior.

*I* am responsible for how I respond to people, and for what I allow in my life. It's on me.

That also means I have the power to change it. That's the part I wasn't seeing. That's my big blind spot. That old mental health/self awareness joke? "I also would like to not be doing what I am doing"? Yeah that's me lmao.

And these incredible, beautiful people who love me. They saw me hurting myself and decided that even if it upset me, even if it made me hate them, even if I lashed out or refused to listen, they had to try. They love me so much they had to try.

I will never forget this. I'm still processing it. I'm still crying over it. I'm so overwhelmed and so grateful. I was worth it. I was worth helping. I was worth loving that much. I *am* worth loving that much. I don't know what to do with that reality, but I can't deny it is reality. My reality. Incredible. To be loved is such a miracle, is it not? (romantic or not, this is not alloromantic exclusive babes 😘)