#i mean thats probably only true if you're insane like me

[moiraxrose]

Elsbeth winter promo ✨

[nitrowyverine]

Finally played the TOUCHSTARVED Demo! Still thinking about it over a week later.

(Above: Steam banner image for TOUCHSTARVED from Red Spring Studios)

I love it SO MUCH. and i have QUESTIONS. my extended thoughts below the cut [Demo spoilers included]

General thoughts:

this game is SO up my alley that it's insane. local goth gaming nerd is kicking their feet and giggling

the music? and sound design? It's honestly incredible, even beyond the infamous Every Time We Touch cover (Which is how I found this game). We all have to be giving more props to the music/sound work, it absolutely punches the experience up so many notches. When a soundtrack is released I'm immediately keeping it on hand for all my tabletop needs

absolutely enamored with the backstory mechanic. It adds so much individual depth to the character. you can feel attached to your MC without them being a complete blank slate. I absolutely love that different MC backstories have you pick up different details about the characters. (My favorite is The Hound immediately picking out who the leaders are amongst the group, in contrast to the other MC backgrounds)

I wanna eat the backgrounds. I wanna eat them whole. They're so detailed and colorful and have a great sense of depth. 100000/10

Specific character thoughts/theories:

(Images courtesy of the Touchstarved character Lore posts from the Red Spring Studio socials. I'll be linking them in each of the character's names)

Ais:

Thank you, Red Spring studios, for blessing the players with the ability to bite him if you're an ass to him the entire demo. You truly know what we want

Lore seems to indicate that Ais came over from the demon realm for some unknown reason, and was possibly some kind of demon king or leader? Fascinated to learn what happens there

Ngl the Seaspring looks like it would taste good. My favorite raspberry/rhubarb tea looks just like the Seaspring water. Gimme the group juice.

Question: If Ais gets infected with MC's madness....does that mean. the WHOLE groupmind gets infected? Humans and soulless alike? That's a city-destroying disaster waiting to happen

CONCLUSION: Most likely to adopt 6 dogs instead of picking up the groceries. Least likely to let you have the car aux cable.

Kuras:

I do believe Kuras is the actual best shot at a cure/treatment of all candidates. Assuming the curse is some level of demonic, an angel's touch is probably the best bet.

Let me be clear here though, I do think he might just go "Well you can just like. not have arms" and take them. That is a possibility

Most of the other characters I can get a rough idea of what they want and why. Kuras? I have NO idea what his goal is, which is very frightening.

Twitter bio image does say "Repentant Angel", and that his fatal flaw is "his sins can only be repaid through suffering". Possible linkage to Lovent's fall? Or another major disaster?

its okay sweaty we all get The Guilt (tm)

If Kuras somehow gets MC's maddness (I have a feeling it may not effect him? but if it did) that would just. end the world right there.

CONCLUSION: Most likely to be the one guy you might be able to bring home to your parents. Least likely to put on oven mitts to take a frozen pizza out of the oven.

Vere:

I love Vere for being the character I thought I could trust the least, turning into a character I actually trust allot. I trust him to be extremely dangerous. He probably wasn't lying when he said his heart is on his sleeve.

Also, big props for having him just kill you in one of the demo endings. What a guy, I love him, no notes

Wait what he's over 100 according to his birthday post. thats, allot? older? than I thought?. okay yeah the lore posts mention he's a possible deity figure. not comforting

Vere is very fae-logic coded. Like, the words he says can be true and false at the same time. Don't tell him your name, he will cannibalize you for fun, etc etc ya know fae stuff.

i will protect him always

CONCLUSION: Most likely to fuck your dad. Least likely to be your new stepdad.

Mihn:

Mihn is much dodgier than the rest, but I think that makes them more trustworthy. They're not as interested as playing games.

I nominate Mihn as a secondary protagonist, since Leander, Ais, and Kuras seem to be interested in them quite a bit. Even Vere has a rivalmance kinda thing going for Mihn. If MC didn't show up, that would be the dating sim right there

I'm excited by the lore post and the implications that Mihn is from Lovent (or has traveled there? and survived?) and potentially getting greater lore expansion about the world surrounding Eridia

I think it's interesting that their strength stat is relatively low compared to the others, yet they're one of the characters that actually uses their strength in the demo.

Also, I think we see the least of their "monstrous form" of everyone in the demo (minus their ability to dodge in and out of shadows). I'm thrilled to see what their monstrous form actually entails.

Mihn would survive bloodborne. That's it thats the entire thought

CONCLUSION: Most likely to do all the work in a group project. Least likely to be chill during Mario Party.

Leander:

OKAY ALL OF MY QUESTIONS ARE HERE. I AM DEEPLY AFRAID. Something is absolutely wrong but we have no current ability to pinpoint what it is.

I've seen theories Leander is dead. However, in Vere's route, he mentions that Leander smells like aftershave. While this could be part of an extra-elaborate ruse, hair doesn't grow after death (Minus the appearance of it happening due to natural decay processes) so he wouldn't need to shave. However, I am betting on him being involved in some sort of un-death cycle.

actually I can guarantee his story is all about cycles. Has anyone else mentioned how his belt is the triple goddess symbol.

you know. the symbol of maiden/mother/crone. birth/life/death. beginning/middle/end. like

Moving on, the vast majority of his smiles are forced (Mouth is smiling, but there's no eye movement/crinkle that would indicate it's genuine). That is enough of a red flag but honey I am so much more worried about my next point:

WHERE DOES HE GET HIS MONEY. He's constantly buying rounds of drinks for a packed bar. It's briefly mentioned his clothes are nice. He pays for anything MC needs. However, says Bloodhound rates are "Free". Where does he GET HIS MONEY for all of this. Twitter posts from Red Spring point out he doesn't accept bribes (at least overtly).

WAIT I'M REREADING THIS POST WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE SILENT CRYPTS.

Looking again at Leander's stat post. The Ouroboros in the background is. Not comforting. Also, "Forbidden Magic"? yeah I have a feeling we know why he's not in the Senobium

Theory, potentially Leander is currently being paid by the Senobium to maintain lowtown/Silent Crypts order? I think there's still a connection between them. Like the Senobuim can remain detached while having ties to whatever horrible things Leander is doing.

Okay, in the twitter relationship charts it says that Kuras has looked out for Leander "Since he was young". Kuras probably knows. SO much we don't.

When Mihn scolds Leander for not telling MC to be off the streets past dark. I think Leander intentionally "Forgot" to mention that. I think he wanted the MC to see how dangerous Eridia was so MC would stay closer to Leander for safety. I think it was a very intentional manipulation tactic.

(Furthermore, did he actually cast a spell of luck on MC when he gave them the lilies from his introduction magic trick? Then bet on the MC living through the day?)

I do think Leander's surprise at MC going out to the Seaspring was genuine, since his spit-take clashes so starkly with his cool-guy demeanor.

I also have a feeling that Leander has been past the veil/shroud. he's doing something fucky and the veil is prime fuckery territory.

(Are we...going to get a timeloop story????)

CONCLUSION: Most likely to dramatically use himself as a human bridge over a small puddle (as an excuse to get walked on). Least likely to remember to go to bed after playing Stardew Valley for 13 hours straight.

Touchstarved game things I'm concerned about:

(I feel like I wouldn't be doing my game designer duties if I didn't point out my concerns as well. To be fair, there aren't many.)

I hope the bad endings get fucked up, story-wise. Since it's a horror game, I know it might turn some people off to have things go super wrong, but I really hope they do. I want to see some endless pain vortexes, some real Juniji Ito-style suffering. But I would also understand if the devs want to softball some of the worst outcomes for the sake of widespread appeal.

We all have countless examples of kickstarter games looking strong out the gate, but then falling flat upon release. While I have high hopes for Touchstarved, I do know the reality and intense difficulty of kickstarter games. I'm really hoping the demo isn't the best the studio will have to offer.

OVERALL: I am rooting for the Touchstarved team/Red Spring Studio all the way! I'm thrilled to see where this game goes. I am poised on this purchase button and ready to buy when it releases.

[lxndmine]

Hii I recently learned the term Jirai (is that how it's spelled?) but idk anything about it!! Aside from being a fashion style it's also a lifestyle and by extension I'd assume a mindset and/or set of behaviors. I was wondering if you could explain it to me, if that's not a bother? I'm just very curious and I'd like to hear about it from someone who knows what they're talking about and you seem like that person!

You totally don't have to ofc, thank you for your time and I hope you have a lovely day!! :)

HIHI im pretty glad someone thinks im someone who can do that !!! ill do my best to explain but theres a ton of other really amazing blogs who have some really good information as well, and i can point you to some if youd like ^^

"Jirai" means "landmine", essentially. It's a Japanese slang term that refers to women who seem cute and nice on the surface but are actually prone to "exploding"- it's essentially a negative term used against women by men. Basically like calling someone a psycho or insane or crazy. Particularly used against mentally ill women, often as a negative BPD or Bipolar stereotype. It also has associations with a gang in Japan called the "Toyoko Kids"- mainly runaway teenagers in Kabukicho (a "red-light district"). I won't get too much into that though as I'm personally not the best source on that information and tons of people online cover it.

A lot of the community around it is essentially embracing this stereotype- so its very important to note that the community is not always the best place for someone going through recovery. You'll see people romanticizing their illnesses, addictions, and other behaviors. You're going to see people have emotional outbursts and breakdowns and generally fit the exact stereotypes i talked about. That's the "lifestyle" aspect- embracing mental illness no matter if you're recovering or not. And that includes the ugliest bits that people don't want to see.

People like me and other lifestyle landmines particularly dislike "fashion-onlys" for this reason. We perceive it as people invading a space for the mentally ill and people who are generally being abandoned by society and trying to make it for them, even if it is not. So we especially dislike people who try to change what Jirai is to make it just the clothes- because this is a community we relate to and is something for us.

As for the clothes- the Jirai clothes you're likely thinking of probably fall under "Dark Girly" or Girly-Kei. Companies call them Jirai-Kei clothes as more or less a marketing tactic- and it IS true that most landmines are associated with Dark Girly fashion. You don't need to fall under Jirai Kei to wear the clothes we're associates with, and not all landmines wear Dark Girly! I personally wear Dark Girly clothes, but there's plenty of landmines who don't and that is perfectly okay.

I'm hoping this helps !! And other Jirais seeing this please feel free to make corrections if i forgot smth or accidentally messed smth up. Knowing me thats entirely possible !!

[dballzposting]

HI i had a horrible dragon ball thought and thought i should send it to you because i haven't done that in a long time :(

love stumbling across screenshots that remind me that akira toriyama doesn't give a shit about canonical heights EVER and just says numbers when asked and doesn't follow said numbers.

Like i was taking a peep at the manga because i want to learn how to replicate the art style (my most serious art has already been damaged by the dragon balls i draw and i say it like... damaged. but i don't mean that i think thats a good thing because thats what i want) and i find these bits from the 23rd tenkaichi budokai where Yamcha (6'0") and Tien (6'2") are both like a head taller than Goku (5'9") which... no they aren't lol. but it's fun to think that they are so I'll incorporate that into my belief system regardless.

And i also found this one picture from the end of the anime (equally inaccurate about numbers which i find delightful. i am incredibly amused by this.) where Goten (??) is like also a head shorter than Trunks (5'7"? probably, that's how tall future him was at that age idk man who fucking knows. not me.) which would probably put Goten at like... Vegeta height in terms of dragon ball inaccuracies because 17 year old Future Trunks was depicted as being considerably taller than his father in canon.

And that's generally insane because as far as i'm aware Goten is usually depicted to be vaguely taller than Trunks when they grow up to what should be their full heights in fan works? which is fair because Trunks is REALLY doing his best with what he has (Vegeta dna)

Also about Trunk's height- future Trunks (malnourished by saiyan standards... and probably earthling standards too) is really only 5 cm shorter than Goku?? which is not even much actually, Future Trunks is about as tall as LIONEL MESSI which, sure I'm Argentinian and that's my like referent for short men sue me... but that's hilarious because Goku is only 5 cm taller than that like what. and adult Gohan is only 6 cm taller than that! because he's only a single fucking centimeter taller than Goku! why is he only a fucking centimeter taller than his father. who even cares about that. him? probably not.

Also to expand onto the Vegeta Height Goten thing, that'd be so funny personally because i feel like the second neurotic ass SON OF VEGETA Trunks notices this he would tear his own hair out, i think he would resent that fact with everything he had. i don't even quite know why he would hate it yet, but i do know that he wouldn't be a fan of it.

But of course none of this fucking matters. because akira toriyama is a bitchass motherfucker and if i had a wife he would piss on her.

-Yui7 after getting back from talking about Dragon ball and how much he misses Goku for like a half a day.

Hi I forgot about this ask and it has sat in my inbox for 9 slutty slutty days.

IT'S TRUE!!!!!! THE HEIGHTS ARE A MESS!!!!!!

To be fair it must be hard to give a shit when you're depicting multiple characters in complex scenes and poses and angles all of the time.

BUT THEN WHY TRY TO DISCLOSE NUMBERS AT ALL !??!?!??!

I get the impression that he just draws characters as they feel. Even though Goku went through a growth spurt before the 23rd tenkaichi budokai, he's still younger than the others and he's still always been an aspiring young shoot, so Tenshinhan and Yamucha still need to be taller (and therefore more mature) than him.

That's why Vegeta steadily got taller as he gained wisdom and muscle mass.... he had to look more important.

Goten is kept shorter than Trunks consistently, except in GT I feel like they're allowed to be on-par. But they're both definitely taller than Vegeta I mean come on.

If the real meaning comes from visual impressions then I'll be on record as saying that watching Future Trunks on-screen you definitely see one TALL STACK of fresh organic non-GMO free-range Super Saiyan BEEF. Perhaps he should be shorter like his father. But when have animes cared about genetics

Trunks is always a tall bitch and Goku is always so tall and Gohan is always so tall and Goten even is so tall. They're all so tall. And then they keep making Vegeta taller too.

Krillin just has no chance

[dootnootles]

Burnout

So tired. I don't wanna work anymore. I've found it's cus of burnout. So infuriating. I wanna stay in the school I'm in, I like it there, yet everyone thinks I should go to a special needs or online school. That's not how it works though...

Maybe it's because I was so open about my status as a retard? I mean, five mental illnesses is a lot to juggle, I don't even wanna get into trauma and confusion.

Maybe I'm going insane trying to do the same things over and over.

I feel unique in my situation, thats probably not true. Loads of people have probably felt how I feel right now. A part of me thinks only I should feel this way, and another wishes to meet these people and to finally talk to someone who understands.

I don't know if I sound crazy to everyone around me, but now I'm making everyone worry. I want people to. Because I hate living, because I'm constantly dealing with suicidal ideation, and I want help, I need help, I don't want to keep feeling this way. But then I worry that they'll hate that I said that, that I shouldn't have said that in the first place.

I don't know what to do. I've made a promise not to kill myself. I don't want people to worry, I just want something to change. I want my life to either get better or to end. I'm not even sure I'd I can keep that promise. What am I doing wrong? I just want someone to tell me.

My grades keep plummeting because I'm tired and depressed both emotionally and clinically, suicidal thoughts become more and more prevelant and I'm starting to completely feel apathy and hatred towards so many things.

I just want someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong, what is wrong, so i can fix it. Maybe I'm just built that way. I wanna die, but I can't.

I don't know how to get better, I don't know what to say correctly, I don't know what's out to the me, I don't know why I behave like this, I don't know why I'm like this. I'm 16, I don't know the answers. I didn't know when I was a stupid kid just running around and enjoying life, I didn't know when I was 12 to 14, being beaten and almost killed by my brother whilst facing neglect from my parents, and i don't know now when my dad is gone and trying to support us and my mental health is in shards and ugly shambles and I have a hatred for my brother, my mother and my sister for everything, I'm not even sure if I'm projecting, if all this anger is wrong or right, and no one has the time to help me, even when that's their job.

Everything is terrible. And yet I know that's a lie. Of course I do. I always know. I know why you're calling, I know why you're upset, I know how you want me to behave, I know what you're going to say next, I know that you're going to keep silent, I know that you're scared. Everything is fine. And yet I know that's also a lie.

Maybe nothing and everything is fine all at once. I think it is, the world is such a big place, existence itself is larger. I'm a small speck of dust in a desert, a number on a list of over 8 billion and I mean nothing. Thats a lie too. But to say I mean something is also a lie. We all mean nothing and something all at once. Depending on the perspective.

Maybe I am just growing crazy, maybe I should stop fighting and go check myself into a psych ward for the rest of my life. Maybe I should go no contact, find enough money to take all this pain away.

I hate the future, I hate the past, I hate the present, and yet I love it all at the same time.

I'm confused, unsure, trying. Maybe not my best, but if I cant do better without breaking apart was that really even my best?

Everything I write gets me somewhere and nowhere at once. I just wanna die. No. I just want to feel better. But life is such a complicated pain that I feel death is my only option. Suicide is an escape, but what other option is there?

I'm selfish for wanting this aren't I? I have a loving family, I'm in a privileged position, I have amazing friends and loads of people like me, I can make a difference and i have made a difference, I'm loved, and I love. There are people in better positions who don't feel like me. Maybe I am privileged. Maybe I'm a victim of my own diseases. Maybe I'll never be happy.

That's another lie. So many lies. But i keep going in circles. I'm starting to hate circles. I'll be happy, I'll be sad, I'll be angry and horrified and scared, yet Joyous and appreciative and proud. That's life, full of experiences. But i can't find a balance. Too many things to think about all at once, too little time, too much work, too little motivation. Just get rid of it.

[suicidemandate]

its a little crazy right. that these people are SURE they are just. alternative leftists. when what they preach is for sure right wing. and not even all of them think theyre leftists no there ARE people who call themselves radfem and ALSO identify with right-wing ideals.

so like example someone who is gender critical like they identify as gender critical they will be like trans people are just not real. thats something they think. transwomen are just men who want to sneak into women's spaces; transmen are just confused girls who have fallen for patriarchal society and think they should be men. okay. today i saw one post from someone who was gender critical that had some traction that was essentially like. "people say that sex and gender arent the same until its sports and they're separated by sex and suddenly they're the same thing" so what i gather from this, the MESSAGE of this. is complaining that trans people participating in sports and sticking with the gender they identify as while participating should not be allowed and trans people and allies are hypocritical for pushing for transwomen to be allowed to play alongside women. according to trans activists, gender and sex arent the same thing. if this is so, a transwoman should be fine with being lumped in with the men because her gender is not the same as her sex. hypocritical trannies, always saying the same dumb things!

except when you break this down, all you are left with is that men and women are different from each other. often, this difference is that women are inferior to men and if this is not it, then what is it? what is the difference? men are stronger than women, men run faster than women, men are bigger! this, however, is just. not. true. like do you have access to gale? go to gale and look up keywords like "sports" and "gender" and "differences" or "inequality" and the most you will probably find is that women's teams are not paid nearly as much as men's are, and if you DO find something that says that men are superior to women in sports, maybe check where that comes from. is that a news source or is that a scientific journal? if its a news source, which outlet? if its a scientific article, look at the first few names and see if there are any connections to right-wingers or gender separatists. go to a version of the paper that was being peer reviewed and look at that- the options are ENDLESS!!! the myth that men's hearts are bigger and their lungs are bigger, so they can do more is just unequivocally false and in FACT people have been pushing for men and women's sports to just merge into one big thing rather than being separate because these myths have prevailed over the years WHY? because of this PATRIARCHY YOU SO HATE. you have FALLEN for it HOOK, LINE, AND FUCKING SINKER!! the only reason why men and women were separated originally was because women were meant to stay at home and be dainty and cook dinner and make babies and when women finally started moving into sports, bitch-made men had to spread these myths about how women cant beat men to keep each other separate and to FURTHER encourage people to believe this, WOMEN'S TEAMS GOT PAID LESS and they are STILL GETTING PAID LESS!!!

you people are convinced the sexual dimorphism between men and women is so large and the gap is insane ITS NOT you have been LIED TO fucking GET OVER IT. there are women in the world who could beat the fuck out of a man of equal stature and you're going to tell me thats not real?

and its so fucking sad man like legitimately i get sad over it because these people talk about how they are feminists and they love women and women run the world and they are just so nearly there but they are hurting their own cause by believing this STUPID BULLSHIT!! transwomen arent invading your spaces and the fact that you feel scared about them going into the women's bathroom doesn't mean anything big for the world like just because YOU feel scared doesn't mean that EVERYONE should feel scared WHY? because RACIST PEOPLE THINK THE SAME WAY AS YOU DO!!! that doesn't mean we should all be fucking racist!!!

god forbid women want a dick and balls and god forbid men want a pussy and GOD FORBID some people decide they want to be the opposite gender or Nothing Nothing At All

and so many of these people are against porn and kink like just say what you mean. say what you mean with your whole chest you fucking hate gay people too you fucking hate gay people as much as you hate trans people and if you dont understand what that has to do with anything you know nothing of bdsm you know nothing of kink and you sure dont know shit about early lgbtq rights movements. makes me so sad to see lesbians falling for radfem bullshit you are fighting against yourself there is not a single normie in the real world who sees what you are saying and thinks that your words have any value to this world. you just are really weird and hate trans people for some reason. go offline talk to real people get a job lick a doorknob kiss a girl DO SOMETHING

love hate relationship with radfem blocking sprees. on one hand i get to see insane shit like "i just want to be a kindness nicies little person :3" and the post right under it is like "TRANS PEOPLE AREN'T REAL YOU ARE JUST A CONFUSED AUTISTIC GIRL AND THE PATRIARCHY HAS TRICKED YOU INTO WANTING TO BE A MAN"

on the other i get to see the most insane shit said about trans people and allies and these people like. Genuinely mean that shit. like a lot of these girlies dont even know that they would probably fall for someone like steven crowder if they weren't so sure they were leftists

[theomnicode]

I'm once again reading some reddit comments and...

Saitama is "imagining his inner universe" when he can't even imagine a two-hit combo against King ---- Exactly... Saitama is untalented. Him learning a martial arts technique is straight up stupid.

Excuse me, since when has Saitama become untalented? Instead of just unmotivated because he became so strong he felt his talents and whatever he learned no longer mattered?

Is this why people are mad and unhappy with the manga? That Saitama the chad is not the self-insert they thought he was? That he's not actually a complete loser or something (like they pictured themselves in him and are now dissapointed and mad when he displays actual talent and are projecting)?

This talentless loser who does this with chopsticks alone?

And the chopsticks somehow don't even break apart, despite him flinging all this body weight around. Not the only time he uses chopsticks either and they don't break while somehow lifting full body weight of average male adult.

The same guy who pictures himself doing insane acrobatics and gymnastics inside his dreams because that's how he pictures himself ideally fighting if he got actually challenged? How he desires to fight? How he probably fought before he could just start tanking and oneshotting everything?

Same guy who jumped 8 fucking feet and snagged crablante's eye with a frikken tie when he had ZERO ACTUAL TRAINING? Olympic level jump btw.

Same guy who has worked multiple odd jobs like construction and theme park/festival, is great with budgeting, cooks, cleans, can do other household chores, is a handyman, improvises food sources, can prolly mend his clothes and willed himself to break the limitations of his own body?

Then obviously improvises in battles with high battle IQ and good judgement calls (Like when he immediately took out Evil Ocean Water but allowed CE to defeat Phoenixman on his own but was ready to step in if needed), has learned boxing from scratch like how he did a perfect right hook/cross against Garou.

He also performed a karate chop to the Vagus nerve to knock Garou unconscious when he thought Garou tried to mug him. Such an attack has a high risk of damaging the body instead of just knocking the person unconscious even for seasoned veterans and Saitama does it in one strike, flawlessly, without harming Garou otherwise.

Even if he copied what Garou tried to do to him then just before that, it still foreshadows his true abilities that he was able to immediately apply said knowledge properly. It's either that or pure raw acquired talent.

And this is just scratching the surface and not even mentioning his immense talents with his powers, like the sheer control that he trained 3 years to achieve.

"Untalented", btw.

Strongest man in the universe people thought had limitless potential or was infinite but he's just untalented. Physically untalented too.

Does this even make any logical sense?

Feels like we're not even reading the same manga at times.

Idk I guess if you can't be a pro gamer who wins tournaments and beat them in games, you're just a loser huh? Is that how it is?

Feels like there's a lot of cognitive dissonance going on at times.

Saitama is not Garou. It's true that Saitama is not a genious level at Martial Arts, but it hardly means he's untalented in what he sets his mind to. He also genuinely believes that humans are strong because they can change. He's an ordinary person with no special genes like espers, but what he has plenty is acquired talent when he is motivated to work to get it.

We were supposed to agree that Saitama is limitless. That's what we've been explictly told. Breaking limiter doesn't only mean that you get 999999 AP and nothing else.

Guess people forgot that premise of One Punch Man.

(pst he also folds clothes faster than most people, faster than Cyborgs at least)

All I can say to some reddit folks is:

Stop malding and self-inserting and start actually reading with your eyes open. Or stop reading, thats an option too, if OPM makes people so mad and disappointed.

[crow-caller]

first off, i absolutely adore your channel. i think ive fully listened through your lightlark review twice every day since its come out. i play it in the background while im doing the dishes or doing homework or writing (its great motivation, really “if this could get published, then by god some poor fellow on Ao3 will like my story”)

i left a youtube comment on your latest video about sweet evil that has the same premise as this ask, but either it just didnt go through or you deleted it yourself (which i kind of doubt, but if it did bug you then please disregard this ask lol) because i cant find it anymore.

your love for angels in literature is a very nice breath of fresh air among the booktube community, and that paired with your love for bad books made me wonder, have you ever read Georgia McBrides PRAEFATIO?

if you have, oh my god i thought i was alone in experiencing this horrendous novel, but if you havent i really do recommend it.

actually. “recommend” isnt the right word. i dont recommend this book to anyone at all. save yourself

the writing is so JUVENILE its painful to read, imagine my immortal but with zero edge and thats almost exactly the writing style of the first few chapters. at some points the book gets so insanely hardcore (like lightlark but the violence is somehow even more unnecessary to the plot) but then the mc is reacting to these things with such eloquent phrases such as “OMG” “WTF” and “OW”

the mc, grace ann miller, is (from my memory) newly seventeen and is also the most specialist nephilim to ever exist because she was actually the will of GOD, so that makes her better than the other nephilim.

she falls in love with a Hot Rockstar Fallen Angel™ named gavin who is absolutely not also 17, after he totally didnt kidnap her and when shes eventually saved— i mean ripped away from her one true love by the police— shes deemed INSANE and a victim of stockholm syndome. the entire book is meant to be her giving her police statement which georgia seems to forget for most of the story.

tale as old as time really.

id love to hear your thoughts on it if you ever get your hands on this garbage fire (or if you have already).

(also, georgia mcbride is totally in love with gavin and its a little weird, you can see her ramblings here)

I def didn't delete the comment, I've only deleted 1 spam comment the entire time I've done youtube, but I probably haven't seen it or it got caught somewhere in the web. I TRY to read and respond to every comment or at least like it to show I've read it, but as I get more videos and views that's increasingly hard to do. I'm bad at time management to begin with and now I have hundreds of comments to respond to!

The name Georgia McBride sounds very familiar but I can't tell why. I have never heard of PRAEFATIO, it doesn't seem very notable or wide spread but you're right in that it looks similar. And sounds bad. And the cover looks.... wrong.

They.... look so wrong. They both look extremely photoshopped and severely uncanny, the girl in particular looks like a doll and honestly, it really really creeps me out. It definitely is going on my list of books to read though because it sounds gloriously bad, and yes, I love angels and bad angel books a lot.

(It's the autism if anyone couldn't guess by everything about me... special interest: angels (and demons). Longest lasting special interest maybe I've had)

[jademakean]

Clouded Sea

JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Warnings: Death, Thalassophobia.

Not edited

･*:༅｡.

It had been a while since your brother’s disappearance. You don't recollect how you reacted to the newfound information, in the beginning, your overwhelmed mind blocking out the details. What you do remember is how you spent days in your room mourning until you snapped out of your trance.

Just because they didn't find the boat doesn't mean they aren't alive.

It's John B, he knows how to get out of difficult situations.

He's okay

Of course, your slight change in attitude received attention from unwanted locals, you seemed more eager to leave the house, you didn't cry anytime you came back to the Routledge house, there weren't dark circles under your eyes anymore and it wasn't too long before they understood what you began speculating.

Delusion ran in the family

The pogues were the ones to understood your situation the quickest. On the rare location, John Bs name was mentioned, you spoke of him as though he were still alive. Barely phased by the fact that your brother wasn't around anymore. They also noticed how you'd run off right home to check the mail after hanging out with them.

At that point they began to pity you, believing that you were in denial and becoming obsessed-which you were- they discussed it amongst themselves trying to finds ways to bring you back to reality.

JJ was a different story, he became more distant and quiet. Mostly hanging at his house with his god-awful father. Doing his best at ignoring you because you'd just remind him of his second greatest loss.

As time went on you got some clarity on your surroundings. JJ behavior mostly.

You weren't sure how to approach him at first, he must be having his own battles that didn't need to be brought up, maybe he'd shut you out even more if you tried to ask him how he felt. So you decided to be casual.

You remembered how you had asked him to teach you how to surf before John Bs disappearance. You never learned how  because of your fear of the ocean, and it had gotten worse due to this past event. 

Sweat began to gather on your forehead due to the blazing sun up above. You readjusted you loose shirt, hiding your plain bathing suit. You knocked on the metal door, nervously waiting for who you were looking for and as you were about to knock a second time, a very tired JJ appeared with squinted eyes as the light hit his face.

The air left your lungs momentarily. You hadn't seen his face in a long while but he was here now, in front of you.

You snapped put of it when he whispered your name "What are you doing here?"

Taking a deep inhale, you smiled charmingly. “I came over to get you. You promised me you'd teach me how to surf last year, remember?” It was your fault for holding the plans back for so long, the thought of swimming above water clouded with sand was terrifying to you.

You walked past him, grabbing the beach towel on the floor and some sunscreen. “Right now?”

You answered with a smile “Of course! Better sooner than later. I'm tired of holding our plans off, we should just get it done and over with.”

“That's not what I mean.”

You stopped rummaging through the towels. It was easy to tell my the sound of his voice that he was still struggling immensely, it was also laced with confusion on how you aren't in the state of mind he is now.

“There are barely any waves today. I checked and there aren't many people either, it might be because it's a Wednesday.” You changed the attention the topic was directed to smoothly

“Y/n..”

You interrupted him by grabbing his hand, leading him to where his surfboard was abandoned for these past weeks. “Lets go, the sun is about to set.”

As you previously mentioned moments before, the sea was still. The sun warmed up everything beneath it, almost making you excited to get in the chill water.

Once you reached the shore line JJ began making little mountain of sand beside you “What are you doing?”

“You have to practice on sand before trying the real thing." He sighed.

“Actually-” you caught his eyes “-I was thinking that maybe you could help me get more comfortable with being in the water? I feel like that's the overall most basic step, you know?” You laughed lightly trying to cover up the anxiety spiralling in your head.

And thats what happened for the next few days. You started off small, allowing the water to reach your knees then moved on to mid thigh, and that alone lasted about 20 minutes. However, you didn't mind. You were able to talk to JJ more, which was hard.

It seemed like there was something on his mind that was one fake smile away from being revealed.

You both began meeting by the beach at 4:P.M, you'd stay for a few hours before he'd start help u balance yourself on the pile of sand with his surfboard.

It was all going well. You were always a quick learner when you got excited over something. JJ on the other hand seemed to become slightly closed off, like the only thing set on his mind was to teach you surf and nothing more. Limeted physical contact, no unessesary comments, no jokes.

Oh, how much you missed jokes. You hadn't heard one from him since your brother's disappearance. Your hopes of peeping one from him was slowly dimming away.

"Alrighty! I think I'm ready to sit on the board, maybe go farther out this time. A two in one." You smiled. While pulling down your shorts you decided to keep your shirt on. You excitedly took JJ's hand before guiding him to shore.

The water was cold, as usual, but you didn't feel as hesitant to enter it like before. It was an improvement that you were glad to notice.

Since you had a later shift at work it was already 7:50 P.M and the sun was starting to set, making the sky was a beautiful mixture of gold and blue.

You snapped out of your trance once you felt JJ's hands on your waist.

You were suddenly flustered by his action, and even though he was just helping you get on the board, he hadn't been very physical with you those past days. His a action was simply unexpected.

"Thank you." You said sitting up straight.

There was complete silence between the both of you. The only sounds heard was the waves clashing together gracefully, peoples distant voices and seagulls flying over their heads. This was the normal routine between the two of you, no talking, just the patiently waiting for your fear to disintegrate into ashes until you're able to swim without a care in the world, just like all the Pogues.

You missed them, truly.

There weren't anymore meatups at the Chateau or watching them surfing from your spot in the sand, sunbathing while drinking fresh juice.

"Do ya want to make plans with the gang? We could eat dinner at the diner, and maybe sleepover my hous-"

"What is wrong with you."

JJ interrupted you with a harsh tone, causing your smile to falter. "What do you mean?" You asked, calmly adjusting your body so you could sit with both of your legs on one side of the board.

"You know exactly what I mean." He looked into your eyes this time. And it's now that you have no choice but to look at his face that you notice the dark undereyes, dry lips and messy hair.

He wasn't taking proper care of himself, he probably couldn't if he tried. It was obvious your brother's disappearance took a toll on him. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" You asked, slightly afraid of his answer.

"How are you so okay with everything. I remember when you were locked in your room for weeks on end, and one day you just- came out. I didn't even see you and from what I heard it seemed impossible to be true. But then you just showed up at my door with no warning, with this big smile on your face and- I don't understand. He's your brother." His tone became more exasperated as he let out all the words that had been running through his mind.

"JJ, I'm not gonna stay sad all summer just because John be isn't here. I'm sure he wants me to do what makes me happy and keep taking care of myself. Plus, he's-"

"Stop talking about him as if he's alive!" JJ interrupted once again "He's dead, don't you understand? He's not coming back, or gonna send you some letter. He's dead."

His harsh tone made you feel as though he was purposely trying to hurt you. The worst part is that that's not the case. He's trying to make you see what he sees. "He's not dead."

There was a slight pause, he looked at you as if you were crazy.

"He's not. There's no body, so until I see one he's not dead. He's smart. He's got Sarah, they got away from the police and are probably in some island enjoying themselves."

"You've gotten comeplety insane! Do you hear yourself? You sound exactly like him when your dad disappeared, and you know damn well how that went."

His hurtful words ignited anxiety within your heart, making it feel heavy and sensitive. You were starting to feel too much and you didn't know how to stop it.

"I know he's alive! You'll see. He's gonna send some sort of signal, ofcourse we couldn't just show up out of nowhere when the police is looking for him. Since when does a disappearance automatically mean they died?"

JJ's eyes darkened, he was done with this game. He had to witness JJ obsess over his dad's disappearance only for him to be hit with utter disappointmen, he wasn't gonna allow the same to happen to you. "Face it. Your brother's dead, there's nothing you can do to change that."

His words hit you like a wave, his harshness making the agonizing emotion worse than ever thought possible.

It was so hard to keep hoping. It was exhausting.

"I don't wanna be alone"

Your words came out quiet and shaky. Once JJ looked back at you he took notice of the fact that your eyes were casted down, glossy and relaxed to the point where it seemed as though there was no emotion behind them.

The thought of not being able to hug your brother again- not having anymore long converstation about your future or simply seeing him from afar as he tried to outsurf JJ- was a thought that you refused to accept. However, you had begun douphting yourself and JJ finally saw through that crack.

His tense shoulders dropped, guilt sinking in knowing you were hiding the way you truly felt deep down.

"He's not dead, okay?"

JJ gazed at your expression swallowing the shame building up your throat before nodding his head. “You're right, he's not dead.”

He slowly approached you and got between your legs, wrapping his arms around you. “He's not dead.” You collapsed against him, resting your cheek against his collarbone.

Teardrops fell onto his golden skin, the feeling resulted in a shiver, running through his body as he hugged you tighter.

John Bs disappearance was harsh on everyone who truly knew him, and some learned how to hide it better than others. All that everyone slowly began understanding is that you were all one family and should watch out for each other.

“Do you wanna go grab a bite?”

You could almost laugh at his poor attempt to be casual, but you settled with a smile, pulling away from him while wiping your own tears with your arm.

JJ ran his thumb underneath your eye before kissing your forehead. “Come on, we can listen to Bob Marley on the way there if you want.” He snickered as he guided your surfboard towards the beachfront. You sighed, liking the feeling of the water moving underneath you as he pulled you to shore, observing the fish beneath you.

The sun had already set and all that was leftover of the sky was a pinkish-blue.

You could finally feel the sand beneath your feet. You watched as JJ walked off, grabbing his bag and shirt.

“Here.” He tossed over his top and your flip-flops as he slid in his. “Arent, you gonna be cold?” You asked knowing the shit that laid in your hands was the only one he had.

“What, would you prefer to walk around in your soaking wet shirt? Because I think that'd do more damage to your health than me going shirtless.” He teased with a raised brow.

You paused for a second allowing the realization that you are in fact soaking wet to sink in “Yeah you're right. Suffer.” Your approving sentence got a laugh from him.

You gaped at him. This was the first time you heard him laugh ever since go started talking to him again.

A smile made its way to your lips “Alright, I'm ready.” You stated after pulling a new shirt over your body. “My tapes are in the outside pocket.”

He pulled out the Bob Marley cassette from the bag before sharing an earbud with you. You accepted, untying your dry hair and finally setting it free.

The walk was peaceful, a comfortable silence falling over the both of you. The smell of pinewood from the trees was calming as you walked past the forestry area of the island.

You and JJ would always use this path after a beach day with the pogues. You would separate yourselves from the group so you could discuss about his job, home life, aspirations. Those were all things he never felt very safe discussing about with anyone but you. John B knew, but they didn't have the sort of relationship where they could switch to sensitive topics easily.

JJ liked how listened. You didn't look at him while he talked about such things, knowing he would feel intimidated by your gaze. The way your body slightly turned to him to show that you were paying attention. Most of all how you communicated with him first. When discussing about his father, you would ask if he needed a listener, a solution, or comfort.

Most of the time he would ask for you to simply allow him to rant, however, there were many times where he would ask for you to comfort him, just so he could receive the soothing sensation of embracing you tightly.

During every hug you shared, we're mere seconds of pure relief, relief that there was someone out there who knows about every aspect of his life and is yet to view him as weak.

“I’m really glad you got me put of the house. I hadn't surfed ever since he disappeared.”

It was as if the path you were on gave him the courage to speak with confidence. “And I'm sorry I was so harsh on you. I didn't mean to. I've just been feeling so much and I got so frustrated when you didn't seem as miserable as I am, I should've never been so insensitive.”

You knew he had a hard time apologizing to people, it made him feel vulnerable and he wants to have the upper hand in every situation. He likes being in control to compensate for the how much of it he lacks at home.

You looked over at him before smiling. “I love you too, JJ.” You ruffled his hair playfully before hugging his side as you walked.

JJ returned your smile, grateful for the fact that you resorted to a light-hearted response instead of a heavy one.

Time passed quickly and before you knew if you had arrived at the Chateau. JJ took a deep breath, his nerves increasing. He hadn't seen any of them, just as he hadn't seen you during those long weeks. How would they react seeing him there, let alone seeing the both of you together with smiles on your faces.

You squeezed his hand gently. An encouraging gesture to give him some strength.

You led him inside, the yellowish lights contrasted the night sky beautifully and as you both sat around the wooden table, you removed the earbud from your ear, which prompted him to follow your actions.

“JJ?” You heard Kie from behind you. Once you turned to face her she looked as though a miracle just occurred before her eyes.

Before your brain could acknowledge she dropped her notepad and hugged you both with the strength of an amazonian. “I missed you guys.” she mumbled into your hair.

As you were about to respond you felt more weight on you “We missed you guys.”

You giggled, now aware that it was Pope who was crushing you.

It had been so long since you had all shared such a heartfelt embrace, and you weren't going to let each other go for a while. You were all family. No matter how far you are or how long you don't speak to each other. This is what a true family was, and soon enough you were all going to be together again, as one.

“We missed you too.”

[yeonjuins]

i'm definitely a lot better, thank u so much <3 aside from being super super tired, i'm all good now and have fully healed :)) my bed has been so comfy these last two mornings, i've not wanted to move. i just want to take my bed with me while i work lmao. i think one of my problems in the morning is staying in my pjs while i work and i should probably work in my skinny jeans or smth to wake me up a little. :') i totally get you, i can fall asleep pretty quickly but if i have a nightmare or a cat stands on my face, it wakes me up and disturbs my sleep :(

that sounds like the absolute perfect pc 😍 that's basically what i want. as i play a lot of big games, a powerful pc is my goal. it's been really sad watching my games start to crash as time went on and now i can't play anything. one of my moots plays overwatch which is my favourite game and i'm excited to play it together with her <3333

WHY'S THAT SO FUNNY OH MY LORD 😂 i hate having those dreams that feel too real, like i had a dream that i broke up with my s/o over text and it felt SO REAL, i checked my phone in a panic and was so relieved that i didn't break up w him🥺😂

certain dreams mean certain things but some of mine don't make any sense sometimes. i always remember my dreams and when i tell my s/o, he looks at me like "what's wrong w you" LIKE I CAN'T CONTROL MY DREAMS???? i once had a dream that i went to a creepy zoo and there was a creepy old witch in one of the cages and then she saved me from being chased by a giant pencil. like what does that even mean 😂😂😂😂😂

i do not cope sleeping in warm weather, i need the fans on to sleep <3 i always worry for my kitties in the hot weather. uk houses aren't ventilated, they're not designed that way so the only way to keep them cool is to put loads of fans on and put ice in their water bowls :(

I SOBBED SO MUCH but then again when do i not at movies. i really enjoyed it :((( i watched it with my mum bc she was having an off day and she loved it <333

(lengthy response!)

truly my bed is super comfy... i'm able to wake up in the mornings but the hardest part is literally leaving my bed imo ;; does not matter what time i went to sleep at, if i have to be somewhere i will be awake but i do not want to leave my bed <3 which results in me falling back to sleep (": taking your bed to work with you seems like such a dangerous play... i'd fall asleep at work at any given time that i am tired and mess up my sleep schedule even more </3

THATS SO CUTE pls i hope once u get your pc built you're able to play all the games your heart desires <3 i have more of a knack of watching gameplay rather than actually playing it myself... my sense of logic with this is that i do not want to think on my free time and therefore, i will just watch others do all the thinking PAHAHAH one of my favourite games of all time is the ace attorney franchise and it's a... mystery? detective? sort of game? problem solving? LOL but it requires a lot of piecing together evidence to statements which my brain goes [STATIC] too <3 i love the game overall tho... the plotline is so funny and good (":

chased from a giant pencil... so true... that sounds like a good disney movie imo LOL the pencil gets all angry and begins to sharpen itself to make it's tip sharper and suddenly it's a weapon to society LMFAO AND OMG HAVING A DREAM U BROKE UP WITH YOUR S/O ;; that's acc horrifying... i had a couple dreams like that where my main group of friends left me </3 but i've had several funny ones and i'd wake up and send my friends voice notes INSTANTLY so i can sleepily talk about it and remember it for later times since they're so insane....

whenever it's summer, the ac in my house is always on full blast for some reason so it feels like winter in a sense LOL and it's vice versa for winter... my house feels extremely hot ;; it's nice in a sense knowing i'm all cozy or cooled but really not nice to experience during the extremes of the two weathers imo PAHAHHA i hope ur cats do okay in hot weather ): giving them my hugs

i also cry very easily to like.... legit anything LOL so me crying is not a good verdict of whether or not something is actually good <- is just very emotional but ! i did enjoy turning red, it was really cute hehe (:<

[bettyxinez]

Nothing Left To Give

chapter four • smile

Kat didn't mention her DID until two weeks after that, and Malcolm found himself thinking about her more then he probably should have.

And Kat knew it too. They had been getting closer and closer and she could tell how curious he was. Over the span of the 7 weeks they had become friends, and Kat was confident in saying he was one of the closest friends she ever had, so much so that even some of the Others wanted to meet him.

Driving each other to and from the precinct was becoming a regular occurrence, and he slowly revealed more and more about his past, opening up to her much quicker then she was to him.

"So thats what you're trying to figure out? If the girl in the box is real and who she is?"

"Yeah. Funnily enough, trying to solve a murder where the only evidence is unreliable memories is kind of...hard."

"I understand that. Not the murder part, but everything else."

His curiosity had been temporarily put on the back burner while he told her his story, but now it was at the forefront of his mind.

She noticed almost immediately. She kind of felt bad about it, and was planning on telling him when the time was right.

The time never seemed right.

And when it did, she couldn't bring herself to talk about it. So she eventually just waited for him to bring it up.

He was in her apartment again, looking at some of the pictures on her wall and laughing as she told stories of the people in them.

He noticed quickly that none of them were members of her family.

"What about your family?" He asked, before he even realized the can of worms he might have opened by doing so.

She tensed immediately, turning to look at him.

"We don't... talk."

Malcolm looks up at her, noticing for the first time that she was taller then him.

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

She sits down on her couch, tucking her feet underneath her. Malcolm sat next to her.

"They didn't believe me when I told them what was... happening... to me."

His breath hitched. His mind reeling from the possibilities of what that meant. He supposed that he could ask. They had gotten a lot closer, and if she didn't want to talk about it, he could wait longer. No problem.

"And... what was happening to you?"

She looked away from him, eyes widening for a split second, and then she slowly took a deep breath.

This was it. He had asked, and she didn't know if she was ready.

She could dive head first into telling him and risk freezing in the fridgid water, or stay safe and dry, but risk putting a wall between her and Malcolm.

She decided to just take the plunge.

"...bad things." She whispered. And even just thinking about it, her brain was assaulted with memories, and she already felt herself slipping.

"Bad, bad things...hurt... it hurt."

She screwed her eyes shut, fists clenching. Her nails dig into her palms and she sucks in a breath.

Malcolm watched, letting her set the pace, but his brows were furrowed in concern. He knelt down in front of her and offered his hands. She took them with a crushing grip.

"...hold on... someone..." her breath hitched.

"Someone's here. Sorry." Malcolm watched in both worry and fascination.

"Its... okay. Take your time." He responded.

He knew what was happening. She was doing what she had told him was "switching". One of her alters was coming. He was very curious, but he was also fearful as to what would happen next.

Would he ruin everything? He hoped not.

Kats eyes unfocused for a second, and then she stopped.

She looked up, eyes blinking.

She continued staring for a second and looks around.

When he heard her voice, he didn't know what to think.

"...I was told to not like... pretend to be Kat."

Malcolms eyes widen, and hes taken aback. Her voice sounds so different. A touch lower, and with a strong Essex accent, her words somehow a mix of dramatic and lazy sounding.

"Uh... yeah. Who is this?"

"Has she told ya any of our names?"

"...No. But I've never asked. Wanted to go at her own pace."

Kat-whoever- nods at that, looking down at their clothes.

"What the fuck is this? Kat I told ya not to dress us in a skirt!"

He looks at the person in front of him.

"You don't like skirts?"

"Nah. Its not my style. I'm Haven. Primary protector and ex-prosecutor. Basically means I didn't used to be a great person. I'll explain more later if I feel like it. Its my job to protect us, and my job to judge whether someone is safe. You seem to be okay for now."

He was at a loss for words. He was given almost zero warning, however he assumed that she wasn't either.

"So what 'ave you said to set 'er off then?" She said, glaring. It was so weird, he thought, how her entire demeanor has changed. Man or woman. Or whatever. He didn't even know.

The glare on her face looked so unnatural, like it didn't belong there.

"We sort of got onto the topic of her past. And then... you came out." He said.

"Sorry, who exactly are you? You specifically. Not just your role." He said, confused and cautious as to where to go from here.

"Are you askin' what I look like?" She responded, the way she holds herself that of a completely different person.

"Maybe. Or just who you are. What you like and dislike, your interests."

She stares at him, tilting her head.

"Well for one thing, my skin is a bit darker then this, Kat is atrociously pale. I've got short, curly black hair and freckles."

He tries to imagine it, but its hard. He's looking at what he knew as Kat, but now, she's someone different.

Haven continued talking.

"I've got sort of big eyes. Small nose. Thick eyebrows. Big-ish lips. I look like I'm mixed race, but I don't like to think of myself as that because I will never relate to the struggles of being black and I will never be fully emersed in the culture. The body is Korean, and I don't think it's appropriate to be say that I'm mixed race because my actual real life body is not."

Malcolm nods. He could understand that.

So Haven, he noted, was a rambler.

"Im an integrated alter. I used to be three people. I have the memories of three different people and I remember them all separately. I have access to all the memories and trauma, so don't fuck with me." She says the last bit with a bit of sadness and anger.

Haven was really closed off, he thought. She looked at him with a fierceness he couldn't describe, and soon, he found himself noticing all the differences between them. The more she talked, the more she became her own person to him.

"I have just a few things to say to you before I go back inside-"

"Inside where?" Malcolm asked, cutting her off, suddenly very confused. More then he already was.

"Back to inner world. We have a whole world inside our head. We all live in an apartment building. Well not all. We have a cave, a pool, a forest, other stuff. When we're fronting, we're sitting in the lobby. I sound insane when I say that, but its true."

She shrugged.

Shes right, he thought.

It did sound insane.

And if he didn't already know a bit about the disorder, he would have called her out.

And some would say the same about his mental health problems.

So he believed her.

"So... you protect Kat?"

"Yes. And everyone else. Its my job. I was the first one made, the first one to take it instead of her."

His brows furrowed at that.

"What does that mean?"

She looks up at him.

"It means that when fucked up shit was happening to us I took her place so she didn't have to deal with it."

He thought about that. Fucked up shit? Like what? Did it have to do with his father? He shuddered at that thought.

It had taken him almost every ounce of willpower to not ask Kat about it, but he figured could ask Haven. So he did.

"Does the name Martin Whitly ring a bell?"

She stood up then, and dragged him up by the collar of his shirt, eyes intense and angry.

"How do you know that name?" She asked through gritted teeth, voice low.

Struck a nerve, then.

"He-He's my father." He said. Her eyes widened and she threw him onto the couch.

"Have you seen him recently? Don't lie to me I swear to God I will know."

He was taken aback. Things had taken a 180 faster then he could even process what was happening.

Struck a big nerve, then.

He could tell the truth, but what if it ruined their friendship?

Or he could lie, but she said she will know. That would probably ruin their friendship even more...

Before he can even stop himself:

"Yes."

She sits down then, eyes clenching.

"You have to take me to him."

He stands up, fists clenching.

"No. Absolutely not." He couldn't let his father ruin their friendship. He wouldn't let him.

"Either you take me to him or I go myself."

"You can't."

"I'll find a way." Her eyes glinting in determination. He suddenly got the feeling that she wasn't joking.

He took in a shuddery breath, hands shaking.

"Fine."

_______________________________________

Haha no proofreading here we die like Eve.

Like and comment yall. These chapters take a while to write and always have between 1,400-1,900 words and I would really appreciate it if this story spread a bit.

Thx yall.

[eclipsing-maestro]

Meet the character - Vitale Maestro

(Shes mute so parenthesis meaning shes speaking in handsigns)

► Name ➔   …… ( Just call me V )

► Are you single ➔ …. ( Nope, happily married )

► Are you happy ➔  …. ( I’m calm...I think )

► Are you angry? ➔ …. ( Some temper here and there )

► Are your parents still married ➔ …. ( Yep, slowly recovering from being apart due to rescuing my little brother from running away )

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ …. ( Though my life exists in another universe not of this one, Caelum Isle...now abandoned was where we “Maestros” reside, hiding out beliefs and existence, somewhere in the First. Nobody knows it exists, but I know where, unless you wish to adventure within the Empty but I already pointed a checkpoint and can get there with a snap of a finger)

► Hair Color ➔ …. ( Jet black....usually some white highlights depending on my powers after affects)

► Eye Color ➔  …. ( I have pure ghost white eyes, not to mention black sclera...my eyes weren't always like this, but until I started to embrace my true self, my true power, it'll remain this way forever, no turning back into having normal eyes again. My eye sight how it is? well, theres lots of things I can see with and through it, but there are some flaws where things look very artificial...divisional. But, y’know, its nice )

► Birthday ➔ ….. ( Dece-...err... 16th Sun of the....6th Umbral Moon...still trying to get accustomed to Hydaelyns calendar haha ) 

► Mood ➔  ….. ( Kind of blank, sometimes tired but very focused when it comes to doing a mission )

► Gender ➔ ….. ( I’m a boy..... just kidding, I’m a female, but I do get mistaken as a male from time to time, cant blame my tomboy personality )

► Summer or winter ➔ …. ( Winter, I’m not too accustomed to the heat of Summer )

► Morning or afternoon ➔ ….. ( Both, but mostly I like the mornings )

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ ( well...I do.... I grew up with him so he was a childhood friend...its like he could read my mind and feelings but he understood and accept every piece of me, even my own flaws. He’s saved me many times, though after my childhood I haven't seen him ever since...we both have had a rough life but when we reunited, we were at odds at first, but decided to fix our friendship again. He was my first bestfriend, my first love...and always will be. People get confused if he and I are even in a relationship, cus no matter what we always acted like childhood best friends, pulling pranks, acting like goofballs and jokers, and even fight side by side when we are out of on missions. Hes my partner in crime but hes well....more than that)

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ ( Well.... not much of something I believe in, but there are times where things just click later on)

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ ( Never had a relationship ended, still with my childhood friend....or technically childhood crush, and we both are still in love with each other til this day )

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ ( Had some old friends who did to me, so I had return the favor.... )

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ ….. 

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ (Well I did hug my husband.... when I woke up in the morning and he was brushing his teeth and....okay next question please!!)

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ ( Not interested )

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ …. ( Yeah, not to mention I shattered my mind until I went genocidally insane....but thats all in the past... just making amends now )

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ ( Mainly love....I mean...sometimes you can get crazy when you're in love....right?)

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ ( Definitely both! )

► Cats or Dogs ➔ ( I love them both, but I'm more of a dog person )

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ ( A few best friends....one or two would suffice )

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ ( Would mostly like a romantic night in, it just has such a serenity to it, but sometimes some Wild nights out are fun too, going to some clubs, getting drinks, maybe an arcade or an amusement park )

► Day or night ➔ ( Mostly night time )

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ ( When I was a kid, yep, mom would want to kill me haha.... not literally, its just a joke...haha )

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ ( Sometime.... okay yeah a lot haha )

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ ( back then....I do, and it did hurt, and it hurt others if I lose myself... )

► Wanted to disappear ➔ ( Invisibility magic, I'm down for that! besides the joke, it crossed my mind a lot )

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ ( The eyes.... cus there's more in it then what we know )

► Shorter or Taller ➔ ( I have no preference in that )

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ ( I would say intelligence... attraction doesn’t mean shi-...errr… matter to me. I think whats on the inside is more attractive than whats on the outside, and even intelligence can be attractive.... which is why i fell in love with Jaydes….whos my husband and childhood friend, if I didn't mention his name in the previous questions I mean...) 

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ ( Is that even a question? Of course a Relationship, why would I do a hook-up?.... I prefer romance and loyalty over anything... anything just to wake up in the next morning, next to the one I love, and knowing that I am loved )

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ ( Only my parents, my uncle, and most of my siblings....we all had our... fall outs in the past, but we did our best to bury the hatchets as time goes by....some of them I’m still trying to recover with.... my dumbass brother I still have a bit of my fall-outs with, and another one I never met... but shes somewhere out there.... another story my mothers family despises me to the core because she fell in love with my father, who is from a bloodline, the Katsuo, the my mothers bloodline, the Shiranuis, still bearing historic grudges against each other, even if that hatred subsided, some Shiranui’s out there still believe that hatred is neverending, leaving them a bad reputation to our world) 

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ ( If you ever looked deep into my eyes, you'll probably know that I have )

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ ( I did....it was a big mistake... all i wanted was to start my life anew but I... abandoned my family who still loved me, even Jaydes….and....sorry I should stop talking about this.. )

► Have you ever gotten kicked out? ➔ ( Well, in Family wise, not really )

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ ( A bunch...but only those who weren't really real friends. though Hate is a strong term, I lived my life of hatred and wrath, so I'm trying my best to find my inner peace and maintain it )

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ ( Those who are true and real, I would consider them very good friends.... but its kinda hard to open but im doing my best to be real to them...hopefully they'll be real to me too..)

► Who is your best friend ➔ ( In Hydaelyn, two good friends, and another from a far off universe, different from mines too. The ones in Hydaelyn, they are both from the Steppe, funny thing is we almost look alike but even with my differences they're still around with me. )

► Who knows everything about you ➔ ( Not much, I just remain a deep mystery but its no big deal to me, I enjoy being an unknown, its very comforting )

Tagged by: @lareine-kira <3 thanks for the tagsss! :3

Tagging: @alun-ura @wolforya @cfasura07 and YOUUUUU \^-^/ if you want to I mean

[tanjisung]

reading winter soldier 2019 ig

okok so i just ended up episode 1 of winterfalcon and i got overexicted bcus bucky is way too pretty wtf ??????? so i wanted to read one of his solo hqs but i couldnt find winter soldier 2012 anywhere so im reading wintersoldier 2019 very nice very nice so see my live coments + freak outs abt the internet and my opinion at the end :D

chapter one ^_^

wtf is this really only 5 chapters short thats so lame but ok that means i can end it fast

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE MY INTERNET STOPPED WORKING JUST BY THE MOMENT I STARTED READING THIS SHIT WTF

OK IT CAME BACK

lets get going first of all damn stop being so hot

OMG HE GOT HIS REDEMPTION NOW HE IS GONNA HELP OTHER PEOPLE TO GET REDEMPTIONED YES BUCKY BARNES CEO OF REDEMPTIONS I LOVE HIM SM

AND THE BLOODY INTERNET STOPPED AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE tHATS WHY I HATE RAINY DAYS

OK IT CAME BACK AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE lets reload the page`~~~~~~~~~~~~

why are u talking to a cop no bucky no no

this just reminded me of a barry episode ive seen with my dad nice

WHO TF IS THAT MAN

im so sad so so so so so sad why

IS THAT TONY STARK????????????

ye it is that little bitch i hate you comics tony stark i hate you so much ill never forgive you for doing SHIT at empyre ohhh ill be here in my place with reed just doing nothing while someone is trying to explode the sun WELL DONE TONY WELL DONE

+ ur just an asshole the whole universe i only kinda like you in civil war because i hate steve 67897890x more

ok ends tony stark hate club

IDK WHO TF ARE YOU BUT COULD U TAKE MY HAND IM MARRIAGE ????????????

maybe thats just bcus he looks a lot like jason todd ok .. but he is still very cute and seems nice

chapter 2 ^_^

aparently his name is rj now im wondering do i search his name on the internet or do i just continue reading

MARVEL DEATH THE KID

HE IS TRYNA KILL BUCKY WTF U JUST SAD YOU ARE A FAN

stalker energy pls behave yourself rj

WTF IS THIS WHY DOES THIS KID HAVE VIBRANIUM

STOP TRYING TO BE JASON TODD YOU'RE NOT HIM

wait what if he is like a parody like wase wilson and slade wilson that would make me hate u marvel cause you could never make something as great as jason im very very sorry

also i hate that slade wade shit it doesnt even make sense like the product is amazing asf but the reason is weird idk not nice

ok he reminds me of my rpg character now im sad ..

PIECE OF SHIT WTF IS THIS THING STOP

WHO IS THIS MANNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE JOHN CONSTATINE FROM WISH

WHY ARE U TELLING MJT (marvel jason todd) THAT HE FAILED NOOOOO

FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE ASKED YOU SHIT

BUCKY UR SO HOT AND SMART AND AMAZING <33333

chapter 3 lets goooooo :P

i hate you so much tony stark go away just go fucking away for once

RJ HAVING THERAPY THATS IT MY BOYYYY GIVE ME A KISS UR SO AMAZING CONGRATS SWEETIE

Pls bucky and rj i want you two to have brothers energy pls big bro bucky thats so cute

hot boy bucky by the sound of hard to kill by someone that i dont recall right now yes sirrrrrrrrr

rj tell me the truth ur transmasc right

THAT IS SO WEIRD BOOOOO BUBBLE MAN

omg this looks like mother virus created reality

NO HE IS BEING PUNCHED /snk flashbacks

HE TOOK HIS ARM

RJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

RJ IS SAYING A LOT OF DEEP TRUE THINGS RN SAY IT LOUDER

he is so jason todd .....

U MADE BUCKY CRY FORGET EVRYTHING I JUST SAID FUCK YOU RJ

RJ HAS A DAD ??????????????????????/

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

chapter 4 ^_^

IRISH AND ITALIAN HOLY FKCNG SHIT THAT IS SO HANDSOMENESS MATERIAL

that is so cool that man is so cool give him a solo comic idc he is just rj's father he is cool asf

MARRY ME RICHIE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE

richie dilf

i love single dads so much im emotional now

RJ IS CRYING THAT IS TDTAYDHS THAT IS SO

IS THAT FUCKING MAFIA ??????????????

WHY RICHIE

RJ UR SO AMAZING PLS

BUCKYYYYYYYYYYY

FIFTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS THAT IS INSANE WTF

RICHIE WHY ARE U TREATING BUCKY THIS WAY I LOVED OU YOU MOTHERFUCKER

yes he is gonna help him nice bucky 1 kiss

WHERE DID U TAKE ALL THIS MONEY FROM

RICHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

he reminds me of another rpg character omg hunter come back to me pls

NO RICHIE U FAILED ME

YES BUCKY THANK U

Im so sad i trusted you richie u were gonna be hunter u were gonna be the cool single dad ok im sad fuck you im sad

HE KILLED RICHIE ???????

i was just going to celebrate richies death but now i just remembered that bucky doesnt wanna kill anyone so he is probably gonna be sad by killing him noooooooooooooooooooooooo

chapter 5 tHE LAST ONE NO

SWEETIE UR DAD IS DEAD omg that rhymed

U LEFT HIM IN YOU CAR WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM

this looks like a life is strange scene

yes of course his life will be better but at the same he doesnt know his dad is a piece of shit he will still be pissed and probably depressed but mostly pissed actually bucky u might die

WHY IS WISH JOHN CONSTANTINE HERE I DONT LIKE YOU SIR GO AWAY LEAVE THE KID ALONE

actually how old is rj thats a good question

ok apparently google doesnt know the answer im guessing 16

HE IS SO NICE AND AMAZING AND BADASS I LOVE YOU

OMG NO NOW HE KNOWS HE KILLED HIS DAD NOOOOOOOOOO

im mad abt he punching bucky but id do the same thing he is in right to be very mad abt it ok go on

HE KILLED WISH JOHN CONSTANTINE YES RJ UR ALWAYS RIGHT

#RJ: trans rights? of course! im trans and im always right

NO IT ENDED UP ALREADY NOOOOO

ok very cool comment section now by lucas tanjisung (me) lets go

lets start by the fact that bucky is as pretty in the comics as in the movies since this is from 2019 it might be actually inspired in sebastian stan but im not sure anyways very good looking so +678 points

one thing is that after just seeing the winterfalcon episode i guess that bucky is a very right connection to this one but like a few months later with all the getting better thing and if that is the case well done marvel it looks great

other very good thing abt this shit : RJ . pls im already in love with this like psycho traumatized teenager and maybe thats because im a very big fan of marvel teenagers in general but he has a very deep backstory that could be very useful to the universe in general. idk if he is in any other comic but an origin solo for him would be top tier or one of him after wintersoldier events and him being an anti-hero of something (or maybe thinking very high rj young avenger that would be sick

now one thing that i didnt like very much is that like .. ok i get it makes sense with his whole story and all that and i like redemption arcs a lot BUT ANTI-HEROES OR JUST KILLING HEROES ARE SO MUCH NICER AND COOLER LIKE .. (okok my fav super-heroes aren't killling heroes but u have to be the best of the best to be a not killing heroe and be good u know thats why they are my fav) COMING BACK .. i just wanted to see bucky destroying enemies and boom explosion fights and all that but it was a more deep and like thoughtful comic that differs a lot to what im used to so maybe thats why i got a little weird abt it, but counting everything it is an AWESOME comic with AWESOME drawing styles and an aweome meaning that showed a lot of emotional shit abt a character i didn't know that well

i had to rate it from 1 to 10 it would probably be an 8,5 so very cool marvel well done

[omglr]

your media is lying to you, my media is not... a 2 hour circle jerk.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like climate change.

You: howdy

Stranger: hey

You: so, climate change eh?

You: pretty shitty

Stranger: do you believe this?

You: yeah

You: you?

Stranger: i dont

You: oh, ok

You: why not?

Stranger: in the 80's they talked about a ice time coming. climate change is just a way to make people open up their wallets and make more money

You: you might also consider that climate denial is also a way to line the pockets of people who are in power and don't want change

Stranger: no since most people in power support climate change. except countries like china and trump

You: China believes in Climate change though

Stranger: if they did they would take action. if they truly believed

You: https://newrepublic.com/article/155136/what-china-bad-response-climate-crisis

You: they have been

Stranger: they dont take action at all they build more factory's. China is not going with this climate change flow. if they really believed they would take drastic actions. actions speak louder then words

You: lol, ok

Stranger: just because the media tells this about china doesnt mean its true you know

You: mmmmm, well where do you get your media from?

You: like, if you can't trust sources of information, how are you forming your world view?

Stranger: i from my world view to listen to anyone and read every news. then it's easy to compare. if like you only visit one news site your doing it all wrong. and since i started doing this i can see through the lies

Stranger: many news website for example have a political agenda. after all even news people are voters and believe something. they are not neutral

You: so all the scientific journals that say climate change is real, humans are behind it and if we don't take action we'll all die are just propaganda?

Stranger: well, they asked like a couple hundred scientist about this climate change. many scientist disagree but were not taken in this enquete! many people dont know this. this is how they got their 80% thing which is false

You: is the United Nations trust worthy?

https://www.un.org/en/climatechange/science.shtml

Stranger: no lol. United nations and trust. if you trust them your long way from home

You: just asking

Stranger: no offense tho

You: it seems like your mind is made up

Stranger: well no first i was like hmm climate change let me read in. and when i did and think for myself and heard from all sides i knew this is bullshit

You: does the occurrence of 4 or 5 type five hurricanes each summer suggest there is a problem?

Stranger: no. you know why a hurricane comes?

You: why?

Stranger: The earth has its own temperature device like a inner clock to cool itself down. hurricane do this they cool down the inner core of the earth. over the centuries tons and tons of hurricanes been there. they point it out now in the media to make you scared and you fall for it

You: ok, cool, so the earth has ways to solve climate change on its own

You: do you think we'll survive the earths mechanisms?

Stranger: the earth has its own way to deal with when the inner core gets too hot yes. like our body can do this too when we have a fever

Stranger: yes i do think

You: well, its sounds great

Stranger: it does. i dont fall for people anymore who trying make me afraid all to make more money cause thats what its about in the end

You: i mean, i would love to have such an out look based on wishful thinking

Stranger: i can recommend it to everyone to see trhu the lies

You: so if climate change activists teamed up with anti-capitalist movement would you be more interested?

Stranger: few years ago they said there is a hole in the horizon, remember? nothing you hear about this anymore. it wass to make you scared. now its climate change. way way before was they said there is coming a ice time

Stranger: no

You: the o-zone?

Stranger: yes

You: yeah, i guess they said, consumers should stop buying hairspray and aerosole products

Stranger: yeah exactly they made us afraid with this o-zonde story. before that in the 80' they said ice time and now its climate change

You: and then they said... well shit these uv rays could cause problems down the way

Stranger: yeah and we are still here

You: and we are facing problems with a hot ass earth

Stranger: nah

You: like hurricaines

Stranger: its raining here lol

You: like the plankton in the ocean dying

You: like forest fires

You: like the polar caps melting

Stranger: did you know that many years ago in egypt there was water and jungle where now is dessert?

You: yeah, dude, it happened due to deforestation

Stranger: forest fires like the one in brasile have been every year before you were born. you hear it now cause it aids their agenda

Stranger: it happened yes but not because us humans

You: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Green_Wall

Stranger: you shouldn't believe wikipedia literally everyone can add something in. this is what i mean think for yourself dont believe everything on the web you read

You: lol

Stranger: i can go wikipedia now and change things

Stranger: its that easy

You: i understand how it works

You: it does have a community based vetting process

Stranger: well then you know many people add wrong information to make you believe the things

Stranger: i readed a lot on wikipedia stuff that were inaccurate so i stopped using it

You: ok, but, you understand the Green wall is a real project the African union is working on right?

Stranger: could be. there are so many climate and green projects i lost count

Stranger: i separate my trash because i know plastic is bad for our nature. cause this you can see and its proven. so i do this. but not because climate change

You: good job

Stranger: i own a bike instead of car cause i know its dirty air and better for health. now for example angela merkel from germany went to united nations meeting in three separated airplanes with staff

Stranger: all hypocrites

Stranger: they know they sell a lie

Stranger: barrack obama bought a house in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sea

Stranger: prince harry gave climate speech day after took private airplane wich is double dirty

You: donald trump built walls around his ocean side property to prevent rising water from fuckin them up

Stranger: donald trump doesnt believe in climate change. barrack obama does! now why he bought house with land if he was so afraid the sea gonna rise. he knows its a lie the left-party sells people and everyone fooled

You: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/exxon-knew-about-climate-change-almost-40-years-ago/

You: this is a pretty interesting article

Stranger: But what do you make of that? Angela Merkel in three separates airplanes. Prince Harry after climate speech in private dirty airplane. Leaonardo dicrapio uses his private jet more then we will ever fly. what you say to this? these people who wanna sell you climate change

You: shrug??? rich people got places to be

Stranger: so thats your excuse?

You: we can/should hold them accountable

Stranger: they are rich people who need to go places so then its okay?

Stranger: they want you to pay taxes over airplanes but they can fly often in private jets. lol wake up

You: idk man, i guess we should invest in better trains?

Stranger: no. we should start with out leaders and celebrities who sell you and i climate scare stories. and then use private jets a lot and use it more then we ever will fly. they are big hypocrites

Stranger: instead of blaming the people we should start with them

You: mmmm, they are just people though

Stranger: but they use their power and influence to make you scared and pay taxes

You: we should probably blame companies who pay less taxes then they should and exploit their workers and the environment

Stranger: isn't it hyprocite that you have own private jet and use it much in a year, and i mean really much. but then say to everyone climate change is coming we should add fly taxes and you should pay more insurance

You: like, i'm litterally too poor to pay taxes, but i am happy to suggest that rich people pay more taxes

Stranger: here exactly you are too poor to pay taxes and still they want you to pay more!! but themselves they keep living their wealthy life

You: yeah man, so you are into anti-capitalism after all?

Stranger: now what i say instead of pumping all this money into waste projects for climate change. give it back to the people. so people like you have lower taxes and better healthcare and more income so the economy grows

You: lol, oh nevermind

Stranger: aslong you cant even pay taxes why the hell you support them plans they even wanna you pay more taxes its insane

You: what? i make like 25 grand a year and pay no taxes, cause i am floating on the poverty line, but yeah, Jeff Bezos should pay taxes, probably 95% of his wealth should be seized and put to use on infrastructure and sustainable living projects to improve the life of the average and poor person

Stranger: yeah well that's not gonna happen. rich people stay rich.

You: but yeah, climate action is just a scheme to make money, and change is bad

Stranger: the system is not made to make rich people poor

You: does that not bother you?

Stranger: ofc it does. it bothers me that there are millionaires who buy golden cars and some people cant even afford healthcare. it's sick! but thats how the system works. rich people stay rich and poor stays poor

You: so... if there was a movement that helped mobilize people to change that would you be interested?

Stranger: people are waking up slowly, not many people but more then 10 years ago. they started think for themselves and see through this big lies. if there was a movement i believed in i supported them ofc.

Stranger: look how many people buy this climate bullshit. its insane how easy people get fooled

Stranger: if you tell a lie long enough, eventually it becomes the truth

You: well i don't know man, I believe in climate change, but i also believe in raising class consciousness and kicking rich peoples asses, i think tackling them together makes a lot of sense...

Stranger: well those rich people you wanna tackle made up this climate change, to make more money out of you!

You: so, you know, you continue to believe what Exxon wanted you to believe in the 1980s

You: i'lll keep do what i'm doing

Stranger: if you wanna kick the rich people then stop buying their bullshit. that simple

You: idk man, rich people also want to gut the social safety net programs in my country and kill the environmental protections we put in place too, that doesn't sound like a great idea

You: like, i get that it seems weird that Matt Damon is using his platform to talk about climate change when he won't stop using planes to get places to talk about it

Stranger: Do you know this Greta? This child climate activist?

You: yeah?

Stranger: well this Greta her manager works for the company of george soros. world riches man! dont you see it? its all a big lie

You: uh.... lol

Stranger: you can google this

Stranger: fact check it

Stranger: its true

You: she also famously sailed to new york on a sail boat

Stranger: this greta is a child en they use her because children make people weak and soft and you buy the lies

You: her message is, "listen to scientists and stop betting against my generations future"

Stranger: her message is what they told her to say

You: lol, ok man

Stranger: it is not a coincidence that her manager works for george soros. it is not a coincidence. that should already show you something

You: again, your message is what exxon wants you to say

You: like you are doing this work pro-bono

Stranger: what work?

You: spreading the message that inaction is the right thing to do

Stranger: didnt you hear me? i told to take action against the lies!

You: shrug

Stranger: and lol i have a bike, separate trash, never flied, eat biologic. so dont come to me saying i dont take action. i do more then enough but what i dont do is fall for lies

You: i am gonna take action to prevent extinction

Stranger: lol

Stranger: we wil survie this wake up

You: ok, cool

You: we will

Stranger: you got fooled and believe in lies. think for yourself

You: I am down for the human race surviving

You: again, we can both say think for yourself over and over

Stranger: aslong as we humans think for ourself and listen God's word we will survive and we will stay strong

You: ok dude

You: :) i beleive in us

Stranger: why dude. thats so negative lol

You: we can do this

You: oh sorry, just a regional affect

Stranger: i think you and i think about many things the same only with all respect you fall for the lies and i woke up

You: well man, i think you and i think about many things the same only with all respect you fall for the lies and i woke up

You: agreed

Stranger: well no. cause you follow the climate change lies. so no i dont agree at all.

Stranger: you havent woke up you believe in media news that climate change is killing us

Stranger: how many times have this same media told that donald trump is gonna get removed through the years lol

Stranger: they sell lies

You: lol

You: perhaps the states is an oligarchy?

Stranger: and is copying my message exactly to the last word thinking for yourself or repeating what i said? like you repeating what the media says

You: i am just saying, "i know you are but what am i?" and its childish, but the point that i think you believe lies too, and they are convenient to rich people staying in power and hurting poor people whether its by poor people dying by climate change or poor people dying by poverty

You: like, to me class warfare is intertwined

Stranger: if you think rich people dont stay in power then idk who falls her for the lies

You: i am hoping they won't in the future, but we'll see

Stranger: they will lol. its a disney story to believe else

You: is that a typo, or an awesome metaphor?

Stranger: both

You: lol

You: its great

Stranger: over the centuries rich people stayed rich. and poor stayed poor. not the future gonna change this

Stranger: doennt mean i wish to see it different but be realistic is also the key

Stranger: in my dream world nobody is poor. this never gonna happen its not realistic

You: welp, i mean, if we all die via climate meltdown, it will be a classless planet

Stranger: we dont die of climate. we rather die of greed and warfare and overpopulation

You: mmm... the treat of over-population is also a myth spread by rich eugenicists and could easily be solved if we dissolved capitalism in favour of food and resource distribution networks

You: but yeah, greed and warfare for sure

Stranger: lol no. overpopulation is real i see it in my own country

You: where do you live?

Stranger: the netherlands. we dont have enough houses! land is full. now 17 million... in 2050 there are 20 millions

Stranger: i can see it effect already here so i know its real

You: what? there are 20 millon people in my city

Stranger: holland is very small country. we have 17 million now. and in 2050 20 million

Stranger: but now already not enough houses

You: ok man, so maybe people will migrate or build houses/buildings/skyscrapers?

You: there is enough land to spread out on elsewhere

Stranger: migrate? thats not a solution cause sooner or later other lands are full aswell

Stranger: lol no

Stranger: have you ever been in europe

You: yeah

Stranger: you lived here or just visited

You: visited for multiple months

Stranger: yeah. well if you live here long time. you see things different. same thing as if i would go live there with you that i see things different

Stranger: the land is full. immigration is a killer

You: still the origin of "the treat of over-population" comes from eugenicists

Stranger: the origin of the immigration comes from wars in middle-east made up by governments sponsoring terrorist cells to overthrow governments in middle-east for either money or oil. those people flee and come here and stay here

Stranger: every month people comes here by 1000

Stranger: but media keeps it silence

Stranger: cause media is not neutral

You: yeah, man.... like, the media is probably in cahoots with 'big oil'?

Stranger: no the media is founded and sponsored by left-people. thinking immigration is good and should continu. so any negative news regarding it wont be in the news

Stranger: people who dont see this are truly blind

You: lol, its possible that rich people are co-opting leftist narratives to get you to have compassion for displaced immigrants so that they can continue to exploit the resources in these other countries

Stranger: Well, Holland is in Europe controlled by Europe Union. Europe Union sees and wants immigration as the world should be mixed. thats what they believe in. they make the laws for us. the left-media are people who think alike, hence why never any negative news regarding immigration is here. police have been told to keep down reports about immigration people who steal, rob, rape to not make them look bad and to make everyone believe it is good

You: also, if climate change is real, the people who are gonna get effected earliest are brown folks near the equator, so not having compasion for them is convenient, kinda why lots of right wing folks are leaning into white-nationalism in north america

Stranger: immigration here doesnt happen cause climate change i already pointed out

You: yeah.... it happens here,

Stranger: i believe when you say that. you know you country better then i do. but trust me also if i tell you this about my country

Stranger: there are many racist also out there sadly

You: yeah its awful

Stranger: it is. racist is so low-key. and narrow-minded

You: lots of cruelty in the world and misplaced anger

Stranger: but its easy to call someone a racist so they dont have to discuss the actual problem

Stranger: here everyone calls you racist quickly

Stranger: so they dont have to discuss the actual problem i just told you

You: well dude, we've been chatting for like an hour and a half, i should probably go make a sandwich or go for a walk

You: its been a good convo though

Stranger: and vote trump

You: lol, no i doubt i would do that

Stranger: hahha i thought you say that

You: i am also canadian

Stranger: ahhhhhhh

Stranger: nice

Stranger: but your prime minister sucks

Stranger: crybaby

You: gonna vote for the NDP

Stranger: whats that lol

You: it's the new democrats party, they are left of the liberals who are in power now

You: likely due to this racist black face fiasco the liberals will lose and either the conservatives and their super regressive racist agenda will win, or the NDP

You: ndp has lots of good socialist policies

Stranger: yeah its insane that you cant dress up as a black person on a party for halloween lol

You: mmmm, i mean, yeah its racist

Stranger: no its not. its a halloween party lol

You: i think blackface is more common in scandanavia?

Stranger: im really sick of these racist callers crybaby's. they ruin all the fun and always yell "racist"

You: like... their is some kinda chimney sweep character?

You: does that sound familiar or is that somewhere else?

Stranger: hey it's a halloween party you can dress like my grandma it should be possible. people get insulted way way too fast if you ask me

Stranger: yeah sound familiar

You: like, he was dressed up as aladdin, he could have done that with out painting himself black

You: that's sorta the issue

Stranger: i'm anti-racists. they are low people. but come on dressing up on halloween being called racist lol

Stranger: aladdin is black after all or dark. nobody gives a shit only the crybaby's

Stranger: if aladdin was white you would hear NOBODY about this

You: like, the aladdin in the disney cartoon was light skinned dude voiced by a white guy

You: had he worn the same outfit, but not painted his face and body black, that would have been different

Stranger: aladdin was tanned color, not dark but like tanned dark if you can say this. but whatever. if you cant dress up like black aladdin and people cry over this THAT shows exactly what is wrong with those people. always yelling racist while this guy isn't even racist at all lol

You: like, idk, its perhaps a north american issue cause of our slavery and vaudville history

Stranger: yeah people just like to yell racist and cry. its really sick. its says more about them if you ask me

Stranger: if someone dress up like a white cartoon i dont give a shit nor other white people

Stranger: black people stay playing victim

You: i mean, its annoying cause the conservative who are actively working against people of colour are using it to cry racist and win control

You: like, so that's the part that annoys me the most is that we are gonna end up with a much more actively racist government

You: but anyway.... its a whole thing

Stranger: working against someone based ONLY because their skin color is so sad! judging someone on their skincolor is sad! But dressing up like a dark disney figure using bit too much dark makeup and people get angry.... those angry people are sad

Stranger: there are bigger work problems like a aladdin costume lol

Stranger: then a ****

Stranger: but nowadays you cant say any joke about black people or jews or you are called racist

Stranger: its insane

You: i feel like you are baiting me to call you racists by pointing out these actions you mentioned are infact racist actions

Stranger: i have a friend who is jew and a friend who is black and we joke about this things and we are good friends. thats how its suppose to be not taking everything so serious

Stranger: you can call me racist lol i dont give a f*** i know what i am and what i am not

You: its possible they don't feel like they have the social capital to tell you it annoys them and that friendship with bigoted people is better than being alone because of feelings of low self-worth (cause by accepting racism)

Stranger: no they make same jokes and last time we laughed with tears about a joke my jew friend made

Stranger: we understand humor

You: ok, well, you know your scene

Stranger: yeah. unfortunately most people are fast insulted and cry fast. but not taking everything so serious and being able to make jokes should be possible its even healthy

You: ok bud, i really do have to go, you take care!

Stranger: you too

You: thanks

You have disconnected.

[omglr]

patiently momming the shit out this fuckin' potential serial killer...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 33 f

You: canada

You: you?

Stranger: m22 canada

Stranger: feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: fuck no

Stranger: feminism is sexism and hatred of men, why would I support it?

You: meninist?

Stranger: not really

Stranger: just knowing the truth

You: where do you get this information from?

Stranger: online

You: ok

You: have you considered.... reading a book?

Stranger: no

Stranger: because with the ability to be anonymous online people will say the truth without fear of being outed for it.

You: interesting

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Feminism isnt about equality, its about hatred of men and female superiority

You: ok, if you say so

Stranger: how is it now?

Stranger: not*

Stranger: women demanding a safe space free of men is seen as just fine

Stranger: a male only space is seen as "sexist"

You: uh, do you think their aren't men only space though?

Stranger: feminism cries about male dominance in politics and management positions , but when it comes to male dominance in jobs like trucking, mining, construction etc, feminists dont say a word

Stranger: there is men only, and to feminists thats seen as sexism

You: you seem a little worked up

Stranger: I mean, Boy scouts of America now allows girls in... wtf its the BOY scouts, girls want to be a scout? there is a thing called girl scouts of America too

You: yeah girl guides is a much better organization anyway

You: they also accept boys

Stranger: LMAO wow what guy would joint girl guides.

You: idk, a kid who likes camping and cookies

Stranger: I do like cookies

You: yeah, cookies are great

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: women are also entitled and selfish and think they should get stuff just because they are a woman

You: i think the word entitled gets thrown around a lot to describe people

Stranger: women expect a man to pay for the date.

You: but its mostly about folks asking for respect

Stranger: but I thought you bitches wanted "equality" oh wait...

You: like millenials are real entitled

You: for wanting jobs that pay a living wage

You: says boomers

You: who dont want to pay a living wage

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but you NEED a living wage

You: yeah, we all need a living wage

Stranger: but women are entitled and think they deserve only the best of the best of the very best men who will do whatever she says and wants and no matter what shes always right

You: this seems like a narrow focus on what women are like

Stranger: its the truth

You: like, this is a pretty shallow stereotype that might be true for like 10% of college girls

Stranger: lol its true for all girls

Stranger: girls are shallow

You: but i guess if thats who you put on a pedestal, shallow girls

Stranger: all girls are shallow

You: mmmm, i mean, you might be misinterpreting women's intentions

Stranger: how so?

You: like if i saw you at a coffee shop and over heard you talking this conspiratorial feminist is evil game, i wouldn't be interested in you

Stranger: Im not 6'0 or taller, im not ripped af and I dont drive a BMW, your not interested in me

You: eh, again, i didn't say that

You: i'm not interested in cars or money or height

Stranger: sure

You: or muscles

Stranger: sure

Stranger: so your a lesbian?

You: but i can tell a dude is a self loathing weirdo pretty quick

You: i'm bi

Stranger: ok

You: women are easier to date

Stranger: sure

Stranger: im 22 and still a fucking virgin

You: for me anyway

You: yeah, that happens

You: some folks are late bloomers

Stranger: LMAO no, women are shallow

You: alright, well if you want to believe that that's up to you, but your world view determines your world

You: so if you can't open your heart and learn to trust women, you'll probably keep thinking worse and worse thoughts about them

Stranger: well im not good looking so...

Stranger: LMAO trust women... that is horseshit.

You: and find yourself in more situations where you can prove yourself right

Stranger: women are nothing but cheaters and liars

Stranger: let me tell you something?

You: ok

Stranger: I met a girl on here 2 yrs ago, shes down in Tennessee, we kept in contact on skype, became friends, fell for each other, admitted our feelings, fell even more for each other, hoped to meet one day, have our first times, maybe end up married and be forever. She met another guy and threw me away.

You: so, you were 20 years old and an internet girlfriend ruined your life forever?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: it just proves how unloyal and unloving women are

You: idk, that sounds kinda stupid

Stranger: plus my 3rd ex cheated after a month, not to mention other BS she did, I'll share if you wanna know,

1st and 2nd ex never even liked me

You: like, i'm being pretty patient with you here

You: this self loathing rap is pretty pathetic

Stranger: lol its hatred of women

You: yeah, its called misogyny

Stranger: and feminism is misandry

You: eh, not really

Stranger: sure

Stranger: women are hypergamous whores

You: eh, i mean, if you and i were the only people on the planet, i would say men are toxic dudes who have little self awareness and say abusive bullshit with so little life experience its kinda tragic if not a little dangerous, and that women are extremely patient and nurturing even to weirdos who don't deserve it

Stranger: sure.

Stranger: if you think im ever going to trust a woman again your insane

You: i guess it was more advice for your sadness but its up to you

Stranger: im not sad

You: eh

Stranger: I just know the bitter truth of life

You: i mean you sound angry, but its obvious where its coming from

Stranger: yeah

You: lol, what is the bitter truth of life?

Stranger: that women are nothing more than shallow unloyal unloving whores who only care about themself, love isnt real. together forever doesnt exist

You: are your parents divorced?

Stranger: never married, dont know my father

You: what's your relationship with your mom like?

Stranger: its fine

You: does she love you?

Stranger: yeah

You: is she loyal to you?

Stranger: i guess. im her only child

You: would she give you her kidney if you needed it?

Stranger: idk, shes not in great health herself tbh

You: would you give her your kidney if she needed it?

Stranger: yeah

You: well that's good

You: have you heard much about internet feedback loops and how it can hurt your self-esteem?

Stranger: yeah

You: i kinda think you should look into your online peer group and figure out if thats who you want to be?

Stranger: Im not on any forums or anything like that

You: like... behind the "women are all cheating selfish shallow whores" is like "a woman would never be loyal to or love me or find me attractive"

Stranger: that is true

You: and that says something about you that isn't true

You: that you aren't unlovable

Stranger: Im not

You: eh, you probably are, or could be

You: just maybe chill with the incel stuff

Stranger: im not. for one im not anywhere near cute. That alone keeps love away.

I have huge trust issues. A short temper,

You: have you considered seeing a therapist?

Stranger: no

You: i've been seeing therapist for like 6 years, they are pretty great

Stranger: well I dont need one

You: what about the trust issues and the short temper?

Stranger: you cant fix those.

You: yeah, that's what therapists do

Stranger: and all it takes is one asshole to come along and destroy it

You: they help you work through those things

Stranger: honestly, I rather just blow up when im man

Stranger: mad*

You: eh, again, you do you, but this is real good advice honestly

Stranger: im fine

Stranger: as for trust issues, I tried to get over it, just to be fucked over again

You: eh, yeah,

Stranger: so I will stay single

You: i have had shit come up in cycles through my life too

You: its hard

Stranger: yeah

You: anyway bud, i should go, but take care of yourself, enjoy this summer :)

Stranger: yeah, but you know whats painful

Stranger: ?

You: what?

Stranger: seeing a hot af girl at the beach in a bikini and knowing I'll never get to smash that

You: dude, just see a sex worker

Stranger: I dont wanna pay for it

Stranger: or get aids

You: eh, don't be cheap and use a condom

Stranger: I am very cheap

You: ok, well, put a fuckin tin can in your room, and everytime you think to yourself "I'm unlovable" but a dollar in it

You: or what ever mean things your brains says to you

Stranger: I've got a peanut butter jar of like $400 change in my room. just because why not

You: yeah, well $400 will get you a good looking woman

Stranger: yeah.. or it can sit here and be mine.

You: or like half an xbox

Stranger: ok

You: ok, good luck

You have disconnected.