#i mean still yeah but everyone’s going through smth it’s a terrible situation

[starlooove]

Ok laughing is a trauma response but laughing during a SHOOTING with 20 other ppl in the room and not shutting the fuck up?

[feelitstillmp3]

i was going to dump this into @time-and-space​‘s inbox, but then it spiraled out of control and became super long. so im making it into a post. heres some thinking abt doctor who/torchwood/class/merlin parallels ! (specifically abt the parallels between tenrose/janto/charlie x matteusz/merthur) (keep in mind that my knowledge on merlin is not so good) (also feel free to correct me if im wrong or add anything on) (also this contains spoilers for ... all the shows. pls watch them, theyre good)

ive been thinking about the whole theme between charlie and matteusz where theyre like ?? scared to lose each other ?? and how it totally parallels to the other things like .... we have one character whos different and immortal and alien (not to mention the trauma they've been through-), but another who is supposedly "normal" and human. so, they work with it right ?

but then theres the ever-present danger of what they have to go through daily, and the fear that its going to leave them alone. i mean, they've already been left alone, but now that they've actually fallen in love, its different. its harder now.

consider the following lines:

"i think of it every day, and the only thing that stops me is you." (class, e6) 

"i take it all back, but not him!"(torchwood, s3e4) (theres probably a better quote but no think, head empty)

"i could save everyone, but lose you." (doctor who, uhhh idk but i swear the doctor said something like it at some point, pls correct me if im wrong)

and yes, theyve felt this before, the pain of their entire race being wiped out, no one left but them, and everyone seems to leave them in the end. but for one second, they stop and actually think they have a chance for a while. someone who might stay.

ALSO it works as like .... the normal person is scared of the other, scared of what they can do and how they are ....

consider the following lines:

"im afraid of who you are, of what you're capable of, of what you will do" (class e6)

"you like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all." (s1e4)

"what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" (doctor who, s1e6)

the person who has been through so much is capable of doing so many things, and sometimes it scares the other one. but they witnessed genocide ! and theyre probably traumatized over it ! theyve probably done some terrible shit as a result of it ! both of them are so valid in being that way.

and another parallel i have just thought of, mentioned a lot already, but the recurring theme of killing off an entire race and how that affected the alien character ....

consider the following situations:

doctor who - the time war, in which the doctor participated, and eventually ended. // when 9 was planning to kill off the last of the daleks in the parting of ways, hesitating for a bit, knowing that it would end up destroying earth in the process, making them no better than what the daleks are

torchwood - jack's planet and how it got invaded, how his parents died as a result and why his brother did everything that happened in exit wounds. // ummm i think maybe how willingly jack was able to give the girl up to the fairies to save the human race, like hes seen what the fairies are capable of, hes seen what disasters mass murder can bring. he doesnt want to see it again. 

class - well, the shadowkin invasion, both on rhodia and when it happens on earth (both times) but also the invasion with the flowers ? // how much he really wants to just kill the shadowkin like ! he even mentioned it once ("i want to murder the shadowkin. every last one ...." e6) and he just wants to do it out of revenge. but “we shouldnt avenge genocide with genocide” (we're not going to talk abt how the only thing stopping him is that he would lose matteusz in the process)

but yeah ! theyve seen first hand what it like, and when prompted to do the same thing themselves, they end up hesitating, eventually choosing the other option instead. (well... except charlie. he does it once at least.) 

and finally, immortality. this ties in a lot w my first point abt losing the other person .....

doctor who - pretty easy to think about, the doctor has had so many companions over the years, and each time they end up leaving them. even after he meets rose, who wished to stay together forever ("how long are you gonna stay with me?" "forever.") but then she ends up leaving, the doctor is left to continue on for so much longer ..

torchwood - pretty same as above, jack never commits himself to a relationship, he knows everyone will leave him anyway. but then he meets ianto jones. and it all changes, he falls in love, which he said he would never do, and thats why he doesnt ever say "i love you," because once he says it then he cant deny it any longer. once he says it than he will have to admit that ianto, someone that he does love, is lost to him.

class - ok, charlie isnt technically immortal from what i know, but i am assuming he probably has a longer lifespan than humans (basing this off this line - "you want to know who would be the last one standing out of the five of us? i would." e6) so ! its mentioned a lot (and is the main theme, as i said earlier) that matteusz and charlie dont want to lose each other. i want to specifically point out the line “every day i think, please dont go where i cant follow.” (e8) because it just so implies that charlie is different. he can go places, live longer than matteusz ever can. 

going to add this onto the end here, but i just thought that actually merlin kinda fits into this too ! 

loss - the loss of his father, of his one childhood friend (will?), the knights of the round table (pretty sure a lot of them die too, correct me if im wrong) and even arthur who leaves in the end. everyone around him just seems to leave or turn bad 

fear - we all know merlin is powerful, right ? i mean i swear it says somewhere hes like ... the greatest sorcerer to ever live or smth. and yes, arthur doesnt technically fear him, but if we think about what would have happened if merlin revealed his magic earlier, when camelot was still under the rule of uther and arthur was still scared of ppl w magic .... idk abt this one ndjnsjd it works in my head okay

trauma - had to get some help from @a-confused-contradictory-mess​ here and she brought up some good points ! when he was younger, because of his magic, he never really fit in. his mother made him hide, because she feared what would happen if he found out. (i ... think?) imagine what that does to someone, having to hide something about yourself for so long.

immortality - after everyone leaves around him, theres kinda no escape. he has to live with it for all the years that his immortal life goes by. this ties in a lot w how jack and the doctor feel, with everyone around them making them left all alone. 

tldr: losing the one person they always thought would stay, one being scared of the other's power, the trauma affecting one of them, immortality and the price that comes w it are all some really good parallels between these ships/shows and genuinely kill me inside

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

[birb-tangleblog]

I mean... it's possible for Cassandra’s feelings to make sense and for her to be justified in some ways, AND for her to have treated Adira poorly too? And actually, these two ideas are complementary and kind of go together?

In S2, Cass is defensive and assumes the worst about Adira. But her instincts aren't entirely wrong- Adira does withhold information, and she sometimes endangers the group. 

I think Cass’ attitude there is understandable as a response to this in combination with her own insecurities and internal conflicts. 

So starting from the top, I think that on the most basic level, Adira and Cassandra have a pretty big personality clash. Cass is guarded, slow to trust, and insecure. Adira isn't dishonest, but she is very cryptic, and socially she's extremely blunt. Cass is hot-blooded while Adira is... cool. This isn't the only reason for their conflicts, but it definitely contributes; the high stakes of the quest they're on just exacerbates the tension and their differences.

That said, their first meeting is kind of a trainwreck, and I do put that one squarely on Cass. It IS reasonable that she's suspicious of Adira and doesn't want her to be alone with Rapunzel, but she actively escalates that situation into a full blown fight. Adira asks her twice not to touch her so they can do things "the nice way", and Cass' response to this simple request is to ask "where's the fun in that" with a smile- she's raring to go.

(Let's also note that Raps doesn't handle this situation fantastically either: she says they should hear Adira out, but her attempts to deescalate the situation are pretty feeble. She joins the fray, then lassos Adira's wrist when she tries to make peace with Cass.)

But beyond that, I think there's more ambiguity. Like a lot of discussion centers around Cass and Adira butting heads in RatGT, and her hostility towards Adira in that episode. 

But honestly? Going through the Tree was a terrible judgment call. Adira led them there because of her overconfidence as a guide. Camping out in the Tree when they’re being actively pursued, as Adira suggests, was also a bad decision with disastrous consequences. 

Cass is the only one who speaks up that these are bad ideas, increasingly aggressively because no one is listening to her or acknowledging her valid concerns, and she’s the one who ends up paying the price for their choices when Hector inevitably catches up like she’d warned.

Her being justified, feeling like the group (Rapunzel) isn’t listening to her, and lashing out at Adira/resenting her are connected. 

Going back to Adira being cryptic and that being dangerous- objectively, she doesn’t tell the party that the Great Tree is associated with ZT, or warn them about the possibility of Hector (or Edmund) being a threat until he shows up. She also doesn’t tell any of them that Rapunzel could die from uniting with the moonstone until they're already at the DK. (Tbf, Rapunzel thought not returning was a possibility as early as Freebird- but it's still something Adira fails to disclose.) 

And S3 Cass is a victim... of bad writing lmao. The mind trap is the big thing there, and yeah obviously it's bad.

The writing in the show does not treat Cass mind controlling her enemies seriously or give it the gravity it deserves as a plot point, we know this and I've talked about it before. A lot of problems come back to that. 

Notably, in the series finale, there's a moment where Rapunzel mentions Adira in the context of the moonstone and Cass just kind of scoffs.

To us in the fandom, it seems a bit insulting that Cass would roll her eyes and not express any remorse at the mention of the woman she's been using as her puppet (and it's equally bad that Rapunzel wouldn't say anything!), but it's consistent w/ the show's treatment of the mind trap plot. 

So while I enjoy taking that plot at face value in some ways, the writing being iffy and the consequent characterization wonk is smth I think is good to keep in mind when considering stuff like Cass’ treatment of Adira- just as it’s good to keep that in mind w/ S3′s treatment of the Brotherhood, or Edmund, or Quirin, or Lance.

Anwyay TL;DR my takes:

S2: Solidly written, poor communication skills and personality conflicts at work. There’s a lot of interesting greyness.

S3: Messy writing in some respects, and the characterization on almost everyone suffers. Grey but in a muddled way. 

[that-mom-friend-talks]

Sanders Six the Musical

I’m listening to the soundtrack again and I’ve had thoughts so-

this is when they actually all get along, no dark side light side bs

EX WIVES: Aragon is Roman, paragon of royalty indeed, very loyal and a big diva, petty. Boleyn is Remus, would split nations bc he’s too sexy and would be proud of that, would definitely get executed. Seymour is Patton, a parent, died, puns. Cleves is deceit bc the whole discourse over looks. Howard is Virgil bc coming in strong and sassy but if you look at it too long its angst. Parr is Logan, bc composed elegant and badass, also lowkey narrator, keeps everyone on track, also smart one liners.

NO WAY: opens with Roman just patting himself on the back for how much he dealt with, throwing shade, golden rule, heavy Beyonce vibes and he would, petty about Remus. proud and spiteful, extravagant and breaking into rap. royalty and won’t let you forget that, will never leave. hella vocals and will flaunt them at any given moment to remind you how awesome he is. dance break!! i imagine him twirling his sword and kicking ass while dancing or smth. break for seriousness, still beautiful vocals, petty and shady and just for it. stands his ground, will be royalty forever regardless of what happens. doing his damnedest to make you regret dumping him.

DON’T LOSE UR HEAD: Remus mentions he’s royalty but that’s like it. boys lame? gay disaster. seriousness isn't his thing. met the king and wanted to f. cocky and definitely not pg. flirty and immature, also dismisses all criticism. faking innocence, but not naivete. is the side ho, and definitely would homewreak without regrets. gives Roman a ton of shit, makes gruesome comments. does the unorthodox and terrible way of dealing with situations. just wants to fuck, why is religion like this. but now he’s the main ho not the side one and he’s over it. would definitely get executed for stepping out of line/ over the line. legit doesn’t know what the proper response is but will mask that with sheer chaotic energy. where did the vocals come from, goddamn. really doesn't care for repercussions.

HEART OF STONE: Patton!!! knows how the other person is changing all the time. he knew what he was getting himself into, but promised he’d be with them. heart of stone, he’d always be by your side and despite everything that he feels and deals with he will make it through. life is hard and emotions can be rough, but he will be there through all of it. famILY! loves deeply and truly, but knows that it can change. but he doesn’t care! he’ll still love you. wow this song is beautiful ok. knows his time is limited ??? his love can be felt from wherever you are, he will always be there with you regardless of what’s going on. cares deeply about his son. THE HIGH NOTE GET IT!!! he will bear everything in order to lighten your load a little, but he won’t break, because he loves you too much.

HAUS OF HOLBEIN: Remus made this the song that plays whenever someone enters the darkside hallway and they don’t know how to change it back. just the twins and Virgil fucking with deceit, tbh. but he’s vibing with the song so it’s not terrible. Logan is factchecking and Patton is just dancing along not really listening. Virgil has the airhorn. everyone is doing meme dances. it is chaos and cringe incarnate they’re lucky Virgil is a meme lord.

GET DOWN: Deceit by himself being a damn diva. Virgil and Remus woof. profile picture he looks like either Logan or Patton. but he’s got a pic of him doing like a smolder. he’s in charge and trying to be subtle about it but he’s too dramatic so it’s just him bragging. oop a religion reference. Remus and Roman are back up dancers. Deceit being really petty about being pushed aside. instead of the slow mo its the opera version. check out the american cleves. its beautifully sassy. he’s different and flaunts it. the ending is so badass, he would just have all six hands out and being cool. the song is just him being super duper sassy.

ALL YOU WANNA DO: Virgil. in the beginning hyping himself up (like when he was first introduced) but it just progressively gets worse. innuendos all day long, Remus is making crude hand motions in the background. starts off innocent and romantic but like the world just crushes it. i hate this song bc of how wonderfully it conveys the trauma, i feel atrocious at the end of it everytime it’s incredible. Trust issues!! starting to become suspicious of others, and eventually certain that all other people do is be cruel and abuse you. he’s finally got a place!! he feels comfortable!! then something happens and that’s not the case anymore. god this song is terrifying. progressively becoming more numb and cynical and covered.  THOMASSSS. honestly yeah i’m down with that. just bar the “connection” and i’d say it’s spot on. anyways. a panic attack in the midst of a song? you bet your ass he’s still got a gorgeous and haunting voice. eyeshadow progressively getting darker the whole song. Patton is sobbing, everyone is crying. The song ends with a group hug bc that’s some heavy shit

I DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE: Logan!! my boy!! anyway. he has a love (his work, another side, take your pick) but he wont’ let himself indulge because he has to survive. he has to do what he must in order to keep living, and sometimes that means he can’t do what he loves. he still loves them/it but he can’t. emotions!!!!!!!!!!!! also he’s got an angelic voice like its so clean and smooth and elegant. has responsibilities that he must deal with, but he really doesn’t want to. those repressed emotions come out and he’s so damn fed up with how he’s treated and he’s just venting and releasing his anger. but he can’t. it will interfere with his responsibilities. narrator mode get that exposition. why should that be what you know of him though? he’s so much more than just his role! he loves space and writing and poetry and songs. advocate for education and human rights!! but he metas and knows that’s not his purpose in the story so he stays within his role or else he’ll disappear. and the others butt in on the moment bc he can’t have a song to himself. but he rallies everyone to put their differences aside and they all indulge in what they wish happened. they don’t care about the plot! they don’t care about the story! they are just who they are, each individual and different and people! and Logan doesn’t need validation and he’s not lying this time! also the vocals here god i love this song so much hnng. THE HIGH NOTE GET IT YESSSS. he would bc he’s a secret diva no one can tell me otherwise.

SIX: Roman rejects a prince bc he’s a king and he just sings for the rest of his life at the top of the charts indeed. Remus plagiarizes and becomes famous for it, putting his own twist on it. Patton just has a big famILY and they all get along and sing, also puns! someone face palms at them. Deceit brightens up the darksides bc he’s the wine aunt and a dad. Virgil avoids trauma and learns what he wants, and enjoys his music for the rest of his life. Logan is fascinated with the others, and admits that he loves the other sides. they know that this isn’t canon but boy are they taking it for a ride. THEY ALL START GLOWING IN THEIR COLORS BC I SAID SO. THE ENDING!!! screams epic magic girl transformation to me for some reason. everyone is having a blast, and at the end they all merge into thomas who shoots upright with a smile

if only i could animate man. this would be so good, if anyone at all makes this i will cry someone please do something i’m begging

[themikewheelers]

lol don't think about how hopper probably doesn't know what happened to everyone else after he escaped/got captured. he could very well think that they were also taken prisoner or killed by the creature or the same people who captured him. like while el and joyce and everyone thinks that he's dead, he's probably thinking worst case scenario and they're dead, too ://// unless he really did escape through the new gate and was captured wherever/whenever he came out

I KNOW !!! AND IT NEEDS TO GET TALKED ABOUT MORE !!! I keep seeing all these posts saying how Hop probably assumes El forgot about him or something and that’s why she hasn’t come to save him and like. bruh. there’s a good chance that Hopper is scared El is dead. and Joyce is dead. And everyone is dead. Last he heard from the Griswold family clan over the walkies he knew they were in immediate danger and he has no idea if Joyce turned the keys in time to save them. For all he knows they were too late and the flayer had already killed everyone before Joyce was able to do it. And even though he knows Joyce turned the keys, he likely doesn’t know for sure if she was able to escape safely herself. If right now our assumption is that he was able to shield himself from the blast but then some Russians grabbed him, he might be scared that some grabbed her as well and she’s at another prison or something. He has absolutely no idea if anyone is okay, and ESPECIALLY combining that with the fact that he doesn’t know El lost her powers, he’s gonna be scared. He has no reason to even suspect that could happen, and considering how close he is with El and how much they talked about her visiting Mike in the void during the year she was in hiding, I’m sure Hopper knows about how Mike could sense her when she was in the void. So while I seriously doubt Hopper would ever expect (or even want) El to come busting through the prison to save him, he’s probably gonna expect that she’s gonna look for him in the void at some point, so he’s gonna try and tell if he can sense her presence. And when nothing happens, and he figures that means she’s not looking for him, that’s really gonna scare him bc again he has no idea she lost her powers and no reason to even speculate that, so his paranoid assumption might be that she’s not looking for him bc she’s dead herself. And also, he’s gonna be really scared about what happened to her if she is alive. Hopper would never simply expect Joyce to just take her in. He probably hopes that they’re both alive and together, but he knows Joyce is going through so much on her own and Hop would never just expect her to take on another child. But there’s also kinda a sense of.... where else would El go if she’s not with Joyce? It’s very unlikely any of her other friends parents would take her in, and if they did, that would still be a rough position for El bc she’d be living with people that she has to hide her identity from and hide her past and her powers and everything, and that’s certainly not smth Hop would want. But otherwise where would she be? Living on her own in the cabin? Living in the woods again? In the foster system? Or hell Hop might even be scared that the US military or the Russians took her themselves. Hop’s absolutely going to be very worried about El. He’s not gonna know if she’s alive, or where she is, or anything. His best case scenario absolutely would be that El and Joyce are both alive and Joyce took her in, but he has no way of knowing if that’s what happened. And also Hop knew Joyce was likely planning to move away and after everything he probably knows that even though she changed her mind, if she survived then she probably changed it again, so even if she did take El in he’s probably thinking that they did move, and we know that’s not smth Hop wanted for Joyce and it’s absolutely not smth he’d want for El either

So yeah. Hop is def going to be very worried about everyone. All he knows is that he last saw them in a dangerous situation and now he’s not there, and there’s about a billion different terrible ways the dust could have settled and he’ll absolutely be so freaked out about that while he’s in Russia

[authenticaussie]

What do you think the difference would be in a TMNT/OP fic with different collections of turtles?

oooooooo okay so I should be getting ready for class tomorrow but you have 100% captured me I’m so invested in this

mainly I know 2003, 2012, and Rise - well, at least, they’re my favourites and have the most distinct characterisation tbh bc they’re long-running series - SO I’ll do those guys :DD

THIS GOT LONG (because of course it did, I’ve never made a short post in my LIFE) SO FIRST: 

the main difference in fic would be tone!!!!!!!! The turtles are all really affected by the shows they come from so there’d be big differences in how they react to the new situation. Combining OP and 2018, they’re both such loud and bright shows that writing them sad would be kinda….disatisfactory to a reader. 2012 is the one where you could get kinda dark, and go down the genetic experiment and “oh wow these kids need a therapist” and Luffy being >:T wtf why are your lives so Fucked Up route, and 2003 would be hilariously awkward because they’re technically all in the same age range but they act so different wheezes

Second!!! Fun character analysis and Shenanigans under the readmore. 

2003

Probably the most responsible on this list, they’re like??? tbh, barely teenagers?? Or at the very least, 18 or 19, and they can be air-heads but 2003 goes feet-first into the whole plot and character and Everything Happens. I mean, literally in season one there’s this whole subplot about how you define monsters and genetic testing and Wild shit like that so they feel Way more adult than the Strawhats get at times. Even though One Piece covers some dark topics it….the characters - the strawhats, in particular, is what I mean - don’t feel like adults the same way the 2003 turtles do. 2003 also doesn’t feel as dark as 2012 gets sometimes, but I feel 2012 is also because they seem really young, and in 2003 at least they get to process their trauma. 2012…..kinda beats them up a lot akhsdg pft.

Sticking them with the Strawhats would be !! Honestly really funny? I feel Mikey would get along with them really well - in every iteration he’s very good at going with the flow, and hey, pirates? and they’re nice? and cool powers? - he’d have the time of his life. Donnie would try and figure out What Was Going On (as the resident “please fix this in case it’s dangerous” guy, that’s probably what his role would Often be) but I can see him being easily distracted by Franky and the whole devil fruits thing. GOD him and Franky is a thought and a half omfg. The level of tech in One Piece is so different when compared to the modern world, and it operates on rules but like, rules that are just ever so slightly different. 

Raph would be in debt Immediately. Mainly bc Nami’s manipulative like that but also because he’s just………..Like That. He’d be rude and insulting and if the strawhats were helping them out he’d be the team’s voice of reason. Or, distrust, I suppose. The one who hangs back, who’s prickly, who’s the last to offer his trust because his family needs him to be uncompromised, just in case. I think he and Zoro would clash for a bit, not like, in words but just in gestures, until the crew + turtles had been through their adventures, and gotten to the end of Whatever fic was being written, and then they’d be friends. Not best buds but like, healthy respect for each other. 

Leo……….absolutely does Not understand why Luffy is leader. It’s like making Mikey the boss; it doesn’t make sense to him, because Luffy is too trusting and he’s strong but strength doesn’t make a good leader, and in 2003 Leo’s kind of a pushover so he’d stay on the sidelines and watch with Raph. But, as everyone knows, Luffy’s magnetism is Pretty Hard To Deny, and the crew’s respect for him does a lot to show to Leo that he may be missing something but that he doesn’t have to understand. 

2012

I always……..feel so bad for TMNT2012 //weeps They’re just kids and they get put through so much like wow I’m only at season two but from spoilers there’s like?? their dad keeps DYING and being bought back to life???/ THAT’S GOTTA FUCK YOU UP!!! Plus all of them have all these different insecurities and they’re kinda mean to each other (Raph….has only given a proper apology for being a dick once so far, and I’m like. mid-way through season two. I’m sorry if this makes me mikey kin @@zali but pLEASE I cannot stand this LET THEM BE NICE TO EACH OTHER ;A; Like they’re still obviously a family but gosh they’re– so prickly)

Honestly depending on how the Strawhats meet them, like holy shit :o they might be Enemies. In 2003 I feel like they’ve been through enough to try and de-escalate a situation first, but 2012 are so Paranoid that unless they had April with them they’d be like WELP this is another mind-control alternate dimension thing, time to ninja vanish. And sure, after they ended up on whatever quest they needed to go on, Luffy would be fascinated by them (2012 definitely pushes the limits of what you can Actually do, in terms of hiding and shit, but I think that makes it fun !!) but I feel the turtles would be pretty paranoid at first. Mikey & Donnie would be the first two to be dragged out of their shells (snickers) because Donnie would be super curious (and also…probably kinda aggravated and confused) about how the one piece world rules work, and Mikey because…friends!! They already have a reindeer mutant on the crew, they’re obviously cool with mutants :D

akhsdg okay I mention that 2003 would hang back and assess Luffy’s leadership still but like 2012 would be such a dick. He never seems to learn the lesson that people have different strengths and different ways of doing things >:T and watching Luffy lead would drive him crazy. I bet he’d try and make plans and be all structured and in control and Luffy would wreck things and/or the strawhats would be like “lol no lmao, you’re not the captain”. Even if he did have a good plan, like….the Strawhats rarely follow plans if Luffy says they’re doing something different snickers. I feel a major part of this could just a nice subplot line of Leo learning to Chill and also like………give the 2012 a fun adventure I’m begging you sobs. Do a Long Long Island filler arc or smth, where it’s dumb and silly and barely dangerous because they’re all competent af. 

Also: Mikey constantly trying to find a devil fruit because “dudes, it’s probably not gonna apply when we go back home and think about how SICK superpowers would be!!!!!!!!”

He does not get one, to his disappointment. 

2018

These guys are IDIOTS and would fit in with Luffy’s brand of chaos p e r f e c t l y 

Okay so yeeeeah I’m probably biased because I think Rise may be my favourite (the family dynamics!! the character designs!! the animation!!! the stupid jokes!!! the sudden flashes of deeper plot!!!!!!!!) BUT. No-one can argue with me that Rise turtles are chaotic as fuck and they’d have the time of their LIVES with Luffy’s crew. Raph would fall in love with Chopper (Chopper would be terrified of him, continuing the terribly sad trend of Raph being Bad With Animals), Donnie would go wild glitter-eyed over the devil fruits and technology and immediately try and do a million mad scientist experiments (and look. SMILES are fucked up. But this boii would totally try and make one/figure out how they worked). He’s….a mad genius and maybe a little bit evil. 

Leo would either drive Sanji crazy or be INSTANTLY adopted and taught how to be “cool”, but I can also see Sanji and Zoro lowkey fighting over him SNICKERS. Because Leo has a sword so he’s obviously Zoro’s, but he’s suave and likes fashion so he MUST be Sanji’s, and it’s not an argument persay, until Leo says he thinks both of them are cool and then it’s a battle to the death. 

(The end of leo’s sentence was “not as cool as me tho ;P” only they didn’t notice that bit.)

April would absolutely fall in love with Robin. And also Nami?? But I feel mainly Robin like Oh Man Robin is so cool and both of them are hypercompetent??? April’s like teach me how to be a badass assassin and Robin smiles and laughs and absolutely does. 

Mikey’s so loud that he almost terrifies Usopp, and terrifying Usopp is kinda a no-no in Luffy’s book, but he likes these guys and Mikey’s just excited to have an artist friend and so both of them bounce around the ship like ping pong balls. 

There is………yeah. A lot of paint covering the Sunny after they’re through. I can’t decide if Franky would cry or laugh but I know one (1) single drop of paint got on Nami’s tangerines and she Banished them. Rise turtles probably have a really good time and the crew figures out they’re basically children really quick and make sure nothing bad happens to them. Leo promises to try and get better at portal-making so they can come visit New York sometime, and everyone is like “what the fuck is new york??” at the same time as Donnie says HEY WAIT, I THINK WE’RE ON AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION and they get teleported home :DD

THANKS FOR LETTING ME SPILL ALL MY TURTLE FEELINGS EVERYWHERE

[common-blackbird]

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I’m not good with gaming and i never really imagined myself finishing any game, so this was a whole new experience for me... I really sucked. At one point i remember even crying when i just couldn’t fight smth. I hate asking for help (i’m infinitely grateful for it), or even looking “how to do this” bc i feel like i cheat, while when i just can’t beat smth in the game it makes me feel dumb.  But i learned that usually happens bc i’ve been playing for too long.

So where to start.... The thing i liked most is the lore. Not just the content of it (which is very entertaining) but also the way it’s portrayed: through conversations, through various notes you find around, and it’s not just “well this is how it is” but rather sometimes contradictory claims that reflect different cultures. I love how you only ever see one country, but hear a lot about the others (well mostly Orlais, but there are tidbits from other countries as well), but also various cultures. I also love how the complex situation is in the game. The question of mages, the repression of elves, the dwarves and their culture, the question of religion.

The game is really good at setting the moral ambiguity and make you have hard choices. Once you realise there’s a pattern it does get easier, but some just make you wonder a lot what is the better choice.

While we’re at it let me talk some quests and decicions.

Free the elves?

So the easiest choice (though i don’t really think there was much of choosing) is the elves-slavery in denerim. Free elves, free citizens, i don’t even understand how did they get to be second-class citizens (or maybe i just forgot, i’ look it up), but they literally did nothing wrong, aren’t dangerous and frankly, there’s so much wilds in ferelden, i don’t see what’s the problem. However, though i don’t know if that was implied, if you go strictly against slavery, but this was a deal made between ferelden and tevinter, you risk a decline in diplomatic relationship as well as economy i assume, so it could be a setback. But again, if you have free citizens elves that are not just piled in one place, you can freshen up your own economy with capable workers. Like, even if you regret breaking a relationship with tevinter (that doesn’t even happen but i was thinking about it at the time), and the elves riot and go against you once you do give them freedom bc lot of bad history between ferelden and elves i guess, it’s still a morally & practically easy choice.

Free the mages?

This was... hmm... mage rights... I LOVE how they went about this problem. So the mages are problematic bc doing magic also means you can get posessed by a demon which results in a catstrophe (like that kid that demolished redcliffe). So they’re locked into a circle tower where they are trained and have a rigorous discipline and are under the watch of templars who might kill them if they try to escape? Mages who actually do escape the tower get hunted down and are forced back, or they get killed, especially if they attempt the bloodmagic (immoral dangerous magic practice?).

It’s kind of obvious that the game leans more to the mage rights (i mean, i wish there was a more memorable templar who isn’t like “mages are bad” by default, but they are kinda trained that way. tbh i just wish we had more templars...). At first, the only mage (other than that one in ostagar) you acutally meet is morrigan, who... who is not a very good example of “why people think mages are bad”. She’s cool, she handles magic really good, yeah she seems to be against the world, but what can you exepect when templars would kill her on sight? Even when alistair is constantly suspecting her, he’s basing that on her being a mage, and not on her saying really creepy immoral stuff. So initially i was all for mage rights. Then things didn’t really help much in the circle tower bc all templars were for just killing all the mages bc things got out of hands. Retrospectively i get where they’re coming from, but still, they seemed really incapable at the time. But then i met wynne, and she told me her backstory. And what really stuck with me is that

1) they find out she’s a mage bc she set someone on fire = mages are dangerous

2) while one templar ignored her completely, the other templar that brought her to the tower was nice to her and carried her on his shoulder (which is very cute) = templars don’t have to be so antagonistic towards mages and

3) the circle tower does not only protect the people from mages, but also the mages from people, bc people are bigoted and scared and will kill a mage = a social/cultural problem.

In any case, i feel like simply freeing mages just like that would turn out to be a terrible mistake bc they are kinda walking time-bombs and they’d be ostracized from society which would make them turn desperate bc no protection, then you get easily corruptible, and so it brings lot of trouble. That being said, obviously, it’s bad to keep people locked up in a tower for life. So i guess i’m more for reforming the circle with mages being treated as humans and not walking time-bombs, templars not being taught to be antagonistic towards mages, but rather their partners(?) bodyguards(?), mages having right to employment once they prove they’re capable of handling magic well, and if needed take one templar with them so people can feel safe. The Circle is already institution made for the rights for the mages, it just needs a lot of work on it. Idk. there wasn’t much of the ~what’s it like to live in the circle~ since you walk into a disaster, so i don’t want to be all in for the mages or all against the mages. I’m a dwarf. Magic is domain i don’t bother to understand.

Orzammar social problems

Tradition vs. reform, at the cost of a monarch or a dictator. That was actually a really easy choice if you’re playing a dwarf. If i played a noble dwarf, i’d defintely choose Harrowmont bc he’s 1) nicer, 2) looks more capable, 3) doesn’t seem that powerhungry. But this also means that current system based on castes. Equality is not even a myth there, it’s an apocalyptic outlook. Which takes another form of a bad side when you have the ostracized casteless dwarves, stripped of all rights and treated like dirt (and that was my warden). So, harrowmont is the safe choice for a current state. Nobody really cares who’s on the throne bc nobody expects the system to change. But if you choose Behlen for a king (who’s accused of murdering his father), you get a reformist who is open to including the casteless in some form into the system. As canon fodder. Despite the grim outlook of being used as a canon fodder, it does open a possibility of upping your status based on the merits. The paragon system is already such a leeway to better your status (bc if you do something outstanding that the drawves, you are revered as a god), but it’s virtually impossible to do something of that scale as a casteless (unless you.. finish the game). On the other hand if you choose Behlen, it’s pretty obvious he’s powerhungry dictator. But i chose behlen bc my sister was his concubine and prospect of including casteless in any form would be a good offer for a casteless dwarf.

Kill/let the mother kill the child or do this bloodmagic-not-so-bloodmagic(?) ritual to save him?

Ah, my disaster. So, of course, i wanted to help the kid, and when the bloodmage said there’s a ritual that can be performed, i just needed to get other mages there, i chose that, i went to the circle tower, i did the whole damn mission there, got back to the kid and, like the fool i am, went straight to the boy instead of talking first to mages, which resulted in me alone dealing with him, which resulted in me making his mother kill him, get yelled on by alistair and there’s no option “it was on accident” to say to him (which frankly would be a terrible thing to say), and then he starts putting himself down bc now my warden is trying to justify herself, which is another level of misery bc i’m fighting a really nice guy who hates children being killed and feels bad that he’s angry about that. anyways, that was a mess from start to finish.

speaking of other messes,

Haven village mission

well, there’s no hard choice in this mission, it’s “side with fanatics who worship a dragon or be reasonable and find the urn”. (i do wonder what do you get from siding with fanatics now). but this mission was such a rollercoaster for me. I did everything backwards. You come into this creepy little isolated village where nobody likes you and they are some kind of fanatics of older gods. So it turns out that first you’re supposed to walk into one house and find a corpse there, which i totally overlooked so  instead i killed the merchant in the village, went to the church, killed everyone there, then went out and killed everyone in the village, i found genitivi (a researcher who got captured there), but i still couldn’t finish the mission until i got into that villagers house and saw the corpse that was supposed to be my first inkling of supicion for the village. So the whole storyline didn’t make any sense. And later, when i was supposed to walk humbly to the urn, i was supposed to first leave all my belongings on an oltair, so i did, but didn’t realise i was actually supposed to do that so i took them back and then i couldn’t put them back again on the altair, so i had to fight that guard there and died lol. I hated every part of that mission. it was creepy, hard and i’m lucky i didn’t smash the urn in the end.

The werewolf problem

That one was easy, like, the whole problem of werewolves is bc the head elf lives for too long and there’s nothing so fitting as holding grudges for eternity which endangers the whole clan. I have only one complaint and that is my god the forest is confusing. Each time i go into the forest i get lost.

The golem quest was fun bc that end with Shale randomly killing a chicken always gets me. I love it. Return to ostagar was on the other hand very uneventful for me, but i did see a video with what banter you have if you have wynne and loghain in your party and it’s really intense how wynne keeps attacking him.

Random thought, but today i watched this video about dragon age origins and the guy said that mages are best for combats bc they can do most damage in range, which is probably true, but tbh most of the time for me it was usually the mage who dies in the battle. Morrigan is super useful for attacks, and Wynne for defense, but they’re both as frail as daisies and i’m left with low-stamina melee fighters. And that happens when you’re fighting an archdemon. You’re crying as you drink your last health poultice. You wish you brought wynne. But wynne had been dying just as often, which renders her power of revival pretty useless.

And now, the characters. Lets start humbly with my own.

This game made me realise i’m bad at roleplaying. I scroll through tumblr and see how people just love the character they’ve created and they are so cool and seem so interesting. Me? let me show how i create my character: i don’t like using magic bc magic is often complicated so mage is out of the question. warriors are usually strong so i can’t relate, so i’ll be a rouge and talk people into doing the dirty work for me. i loved elves so fiercly as a kid i got fed up with them and can’t stand them so i’ll not be an elf, but humans seem boring so i’ll be a dwarf. After all i’m short, i can relate. Bonus points, they are imune to magic. Since i’m casteless, i decided to look ugly (i’ve been told my warden looks like the crying cat meme). In the end, compared to the rest of my warden’s family, she looked like an adopted child. At the beginning i had the idea that i would make this character grow from “in it for herself” to “a hero” bc it’s a typical hero story anyway, but in the end it was just a self insert with really dumb mistakes who doesn’t get what she’s signed up to. I guess it’s easier to actually make interesting characters once you already know the stories and the choices so it’s easier to choose according to the characterisation you make and not “what if i screw up?”.

Alistair

So after you get chosen by Duncan (a cool honorable guywho gives you chance to make something of your casteless self and then makes you drink poison), the first guy you meet is alistair - a fellow grey warden who used to train to be a templar (which is as far as we go in meeting templars) and happens to be a king’s bastard son. He is dorky, funny, a genuinely nice person and on level of insecurity that even surpasses mine. He’s impossible to dislike. What i really like about the characters is that they’re super simple, which makes them both their charm and their annoying trait. for example, he often puts himself down, which i relate and am symphatetic and am all “nah you’re really nice”, but the next time he does that i’m “mate, you gotta stop doing that”. But it’s still kinda cute.

What did irk me throughout the game is him being my senior, but making me the leader. I literally pass the test 1 day before everybody gets killed and he is the only grey warden who knows what grey wardens do. Not only that, he’s like the only guy with me at the beginning who knows where’s what and knows the culture. I’m a friggin dwarf who is afraid that i’ll fall into the sky, have no interest to get myself killed, but now i’m a leader. But that’s not even the issue, bc i am already the main character. The problem is when every character in the game acts as if i’m the only surviving grey warden when alistair is right there. “Only you can do that, oh you’re a grey warden”. Alistair knows more about grey wardens than i ever will. I wish they just mention “can either of you two”. It’s like he doesn’t exist lol.  I didn’t take him often to missions and pretended he’s doing some grey warden business i know nothing about. The only character who makes sense to completely ignore alistair as a grey warden is anora. But whatever, he doesn’t want any spotlight, so i guess he’s happy being considered “that sidekick grey warden”. Even as frustrating as it was, i really liked his avoiding of responsibility whatsoever and his low confidence, it really makes room for character growth.

Dog

the best character in da:o.

Morrigan

She’s obviously a polar opposite to alistair - overconfident, kind of mean, kind of selfish, her jokes are mean. I mean, when i imagine alistair i imagine a dog, when i imagine morrigan, that’s a cat. And while as a person i don’t really like her that much, but her dynamics with other characters are really fun. What really made me love her is that mystery “is she evil or not”, ( which I guess she’s not considering she’s still a buddy in later games(?)), but combined with her relationship with flemeth who also might or might not be evil. she keeps opposing her mother while being compliant to her. She does what flemeth asks bc she knows that flemeth is more powerful. It makes you wonder how terrible her upbringing was if you’re certain your mom has some fishy plans in which you might get killed in the process. But instead of just running away and doing exactly the opposite of what flemeth commands, even after hearing she’s dead, she still goes on with flemeth’s idea, so i’m guessing she just wants the demon baby for herself(?). In any case, her (justified?) paranoia with flemeth makes her really compelling.

SPEAKING OF DEMON BABY, turns out the reason flemeth saved the warden and alistair was so that the warden could convince alistair to have sex with morrigan. which means that if the warden is a guy, and let us assume a straight guy, she’s counting on at least 50% chance of the male straight guy hating morrigan so much he would sooner convince the other guy who definitely hates morrigan to have sex with her than doing it himself. Yikes.

Sten

Sten is a character you respect. Some things he said really resonated with me and it made me think a lot. His regret over killing that family totally flew over me at that time (bc zevran was talking his head off how he killed this guy and that guy so who cares about sten killing some family, i’m already going to hell for tolerating assassins and making a mother kill her child), but later it was quite peculiar that he’s so ready to kill me and he’s pretty ruthless at everything he does, so you’d think this big guy has no problem getting over this. His regret made me more interested in his culture and his rigorous honour-code. I’d really love to see Par Vollen. At the end i even told him i was going to be joining him on his way back to Par Vollen (i wanted a new character for awakening), but that didn’t work out sadly :(

Leliana

I think most endearing part of Leliana is that she truly seems to believe all the right things, even though you’re made suspicious considering she was (or is?) a spy. That woman talks so much. And she’s always in the right. Always.  Making a spy become a hardcore believer in god is cool, bc i always doubt her. She knows her way with words, she always says what you want/need to hear. Of course she would be playing a religious girl if that meant she could convince me that she’s harmless. But it’s also fun that she truly believes it and has a hard time convincing you that considering you keep doubting everything she says. I really like her.

Zevran

I was really surprised when i saw that Zevran is a fan-favourite. I guess it’s that he has a tragic-slave-turned-assassin backstory. I... am completely indifferent towards him. I’m sorry. He was just that one bisexual hedonist assassin who happens to have been a slave long time ago. I guess, by the time i got his backstory, i was already immune to angst... But thinking back, i really like that he’s the bad guy in his backstory, he’s the one doing betraying, while leliana for example got betrayed. And i’m a little bit sad that all he learned from that episode was that assassins are expandable, while, when you look at it, he fails to realise everybody in antiva is expendable.  That’s a really crazy country right there. I mean, he’s killing people right and left, and never really thinks back about them. Even if he doesn’t like to do it (which he never really said he does, but it’s not like he had a choice so let’s give a benefit of the doubt), he never really thinks about his victims. The only thing that made him realise that he was expandable was his killing of his partner/lover. (or if he figured that out, i didn’t notice it). But yeah, bragging about sex and death doesn’t do it for me i guess. I did love his banters with Wynne. You can see how she’s trying to get him to open up, to see that there’s more to him than a hedonist, and she just giving up every time when he makes it about sex.

Wynne

Wynne is my top 3 faves. She’s also the reason i’m not against the Circle. Before i met her, i was all “yeah mages should be free and don’t need any control” bc there’s just morrigan and a bad case of not-taking-care-of-your-child-mage posession thing. But then Wynne starts talking about her life in the circle and you see that it’s not just “we hate mages so we keep them imprisoned”.  You see that learning magic is hard (morrigan makes it look easy, ok?) and disaster can happen in a blink of an eye. And you find out how flawed she was, and it feels like she really learned from her experiences. And she’s so openminded and genuinely nice, typical granma-mentor-character. Best human in the camp.

Shale

Another one of my top 3 faves. Shale won me over the moment they murdered that poor chicken. I love having shale in my missions, they’re useful, they’re snappy, they’re perfect. And finding out that shale used to be shayle, a dwarf noble who willingly became a golem was one of my fave missions. I was so focused on the myth & legend of branka, that shale took me by surprise. And imagining a dwarf lady with shale’s personality makes me want to go back in time and meet shayle ;__;

Oghren

He’s pretty much like zevran: i like him, but too many alcoholic-jokes. Out of all characters, he looks like the biggest comic-relief. I like how insanely loyal he is. And I liked being his wingman x)

Loghain

I really like him. I shouldn’t like him as much as i do. i wish he could have been in a party earlier or without alistair-walking-out consequences. You start seeing that he’s not just a bad guy when you see that he’s always sad there when anora is scolding him. And I really loved that anecdote with him ruining every rose he touches so he found a rose and brought it home himself. Awww. If he didn’t order me executed at sight, i’d be his best friend. His paranoia (or justified fear?) of orlesian invasion made him do lot of political mistakes, but you can see he has good intentions. He’s not a bad guy. And he’s really clever. But also i will never understand how he didn’t get rid of Rendon Howe.

I’m so conflicted over him abandoning Cailan. I hated cailan, but to him, cailan was almost flesh and blood(?) I mean, he’s everything that’s left of two people he loved so abandoning him must have been terrible. I’m still trying to wrap my head around why he would go to that length to betray cailan rather than forcefully take him back by the means of drugging him and carrying him back to denerim. Maybe cailan was so problematic with his ideals before and this was just one decision too much. But then again, loghain was dealing with idealistic maric since forever. I don’t know. He’s just such a compelling character to me. I wouldn’t recruit him storywise bc i feel like his time was over. He had to die there. you know how in stories, the hero can’t live too long, bc there is no being the hero the second time. They’re always tragic. And since he attempted to be the hero again, he had to pay the price and become a villain.  And he needs to tragically die. Which makes him more memorable than saint marric.

Also i watched a video with what happens if you go back to ostagar with loghain and wynne and it’s whoa... wynne is merciless with her attacks on loghain.

Anora

MY QUEEN. I was debating a lot whether alistair should be a king or not and then anora showed up and everything became clear. She’s such an amazing person. You can see her as righteous, as powerhungry, as manipulator, as terrible or wonderful and all of that would be true. She’s ready to do everything to keep that throne. You can see she loves her father, but she is going against him and is relying on your mercy for his life, and accepts his death so quickly. She implies that, while she did love cailan, her marriage was arranged and her husband an idealistic fool and she’s not surprised how he ended up. And sure, she’s telling you all you want to hear: that she loved him, that she was warning him about what his idealism will get him to, but can you really trust her? Especially with cailan’s correspondence between arl eamon, where eamon is trying to get rid of anora, and empress celene, who’s suspicious to say the least. I could easily imagine she did not warn, but support cailan in his idealistic views bc he hinders her rule with his blind idealism. I could just as easily accept that she truly did love him, and she did warn him, but alas, her husband is a fool. Everyone is against her in the game, and if i didn’t get her to win that throne after everything she’s done to get it, it would just be sad to watch. which brings me to the mission:

Choosing a ruler

Anora proved more than anyone that she’s the best candidate.  Setting alistair on that throne would feel so ungrateful, he had no agency whatsoever in becoming a king and if i married him to anora, then i’d just get another pawn in her - or eamon’s - hands bc it’s obvious who’s playing the game here. I’d feel bad for alistair. He should get his own development based by his own merits rather than ~king’s blood~. Also with setting him on the throne you change nothing bc he can’t have kids anyway (unless you count the demon baby which would get this to another level of really messed up succession stories), and anora (according to eamon) seems to not be able to have kids(?) so they’re basically the same. Also, anora has unlimited time to rule, while alistair will die in what like, 10 years? and what then? Morrigan becomes queen regent bc she’s the baby-demon’s mother? That’s a disaster. And anora is right when she says that setting up a grey warden after they’ve been proclaimed enemies of the state only makes it look bad. I have learned that grey wardens, it turns out, are very political, but i just didn’t want to be. Also, alistair devotion was literally never towards marric and only for duncan. He even kills Loghain for duncan, and not for cailan. I really like anora being a queen. I know i can’t count on her bc she is ruthless like loghain, but also loyal only to the kingdom. It feels like, that’s the only thing she got to choose in her life and she’s willing to sacrifice everything for it. And that makes her a good ruler.

the ritual

oh man. that was... awkward. I knew it was gonna happen but... you know what i think? Sure, flemeth told morrigan what she’s gotta do, but, i doubt morrigan really knew what she’s getting into. I know the kid is a normal kid in the end, but i like to think that at the time, morrigan had no idea whatsoever what is this ritual going to turn up with. First, this this ritual feels like a fanservice. Second, on the matter of dub-con, i’ve seen a lot of people saying that alistair was non-con and morrigan is... a bitch?  i thought about it and all i saw was this: your mom, whom you hate and are convinced she’s going to kill you one day, tells you you’re going to have a sex with a guy you don’t know, who hates you, and have his child, and you probably don’t want children, who will definitely be possessed with a god-spirit-thing. So, you got two choices, while you’re traveling with your merry band: you won’t do it or you do it for yourself. So i guess morrigan saw an opportunity and decided to go along with it, but use it against flemeth. Which is a really sad thing bc the moment she decides to have the baby for the power for whatever reason, she is basically becoming flemeth herself (or at least her idea of flemeth: someone who uses children for her own gains instead of loving them). So knowing that, i can’t see morrigan being a bitch either way for deciding to take the ritual. She definitely doesn’t like alistair after all, and she’s becoming the person she hates the most + she acts like she doesn’t care about anything, but she also wants to save the warden. So yeah, i definitely went overboard with this, but i don’t see morrigan enjoying the ritual.

I do wonder what she’s planning to do with the demon baby tho. or how terrible is she at raising a baby. I mean, her tolerance and patience levels are really low. I also wonder whether she’s right to be wary of flemeth or is she only paranoid. Flemeth seems like much wiser and sees morrigan as a kid with her paranoia. She pretty much dominates. I would love both morrigan being totally off the track with her suspicious about flemeth and her being right to be wary of flemeth.

So yeah, that was a huge ramble. If you made it this far then i bow to you. Idk where i was going with this... i just wanted to get out my thoughts and have it in one place.  I probably said bunch of things wrong and misinterpreted the characters, made typos, forgot to say bunch of other things so, sorry for that.  i’m a newb. But i loved it! It made me go into fantasy mood.

[pomegranate-belle]

11 Questions

Tagged by: @zeesqueere, thank you, and sorry this took me so long!

Tagging: @rawkhawkjock, @chessanator, @teashadephoenix, @returnsandreturns, if you guys want — and anybody else who wants to answer these!

1. How long have you been writing?

Uhhh since I was literate probably lmao — I was a very angry, repressed lil bby that got picked on a lot and my Kindergarten teacher nudged me towards expressing myself via the written word rather than with what little violence I could accomplish as a tiny six year old. And that, as they say, is history.

2. What are the major themes of your current wip(s)?

Courting the Sun-Dancer(?) (aka the one abt Alma and Navata): Regaining identity, cultural exchange, choice over fate, courage, loyalty, and the responsibilities of ruling

The still untitled story about Algernon and Tyderias: Homecoming, revenge, what it means to be alive, accepting your talents, learning to love others as they are, sacrifice, and true love

3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it?

I don’t know, hope, I guess? It’s not the reason I’m writing them or even the point behind the plots but I wish I’d had stories like this (read: Not Straight Ones) growing up. Mostly I just want people to enjoy reading the things I write.

4. Would you be excited if people write fanfiction about your wip(s)?

I’d be honestly startled given the lack of information to work from right now lol, but I’m super jazzed any time something I write spurs other people to create. :)

5. What’s your go-to writing beverage?

I don’t think I have one but I will say I really had a productive night that one time I went out and drank like three vodka lemonades while working on a character, lmao

6. Who is your favorite oc? Tell me about them!

Ooh, playing favorites is mean... But yeah ok it’s definitely Mauve Sebella (incidentally, she’s also the character from the previous answer—)

She’s gone through about three different iterations as I tried to find a story for her. At first, she was a main character and much more whimsical — a burglar looked after by the remnants of her mother’s iron-smuggling operation. So she was kind of this happy-go-lucky gentleman thief type character with One Million Dads. The plot of that story fizzled out pretty quickly, and I set her aside for a while, but eventually I found use for a character with her specific powers so I dusted her off and gave her an unhappier backstory and an attitude adjustment.

As she stands now, there was no one decent to look after her and keep her safe after her mom died, so she was in a bad situation where everyone was either trying to murder her or use her powers for their own gain. She ended up as a child soldier due to her “magic-eating” eye and became the most infamous assassin on the continent. It’s the perfect conceit for the world she’s in because it means she travels a lot and I can use her as a side character in almost any story set in that world.

7. Do you feel that mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey?

I guess? I don’t really think about things like that, lol

8. Rank your ocs by their capability in a footchase (either running after or from smth, your choice)

Navata is dead last for the obvious reason that she spends 90% of her time on land in a wheelchair. Then Charles DeWitte, then his younger sister Lucille, then Algernon Parson, then Alma, then Tyderias, then Mauve. Prince Balthazar is the fastest because he’s A Literal Werewolf and his running stamina is totally wild.

9. Does your wip have romance? tell me about it!! if not tell me about a friendship/important relationship in your wip!!

So many romances. So many.

Algernon/Tyderias: my Fake Married boys!! They’re a little suspicious of each other at first, but get over it pretty quickly. Algernon is a natural caretaker and he has an instinct to protect Ty pretty much from the beginning. Ty, who’s a bit jaded from, you know, being an exiled prince and unable to stop his father’s killers from taking over his kingdom, is intrigued by Algernon since he’s just a genuinely good person. Both of them are hiding parts of themselves at the beginning and it causes trouble when the truth comes out, but they pull together when it counts. They take interest in each other’s hobbies and it leads to some self-discovery along the way. Both of them try very hard not to fall love while they have to pretend to be married but uh, it does not work at all.

Alma/Navata: These two are definitely an “opposites attract” couple! Navata is a queen who cares more about being approachable than being unquestionable. She has chronic pain that limits her ability to do things, but she’s fun-loving and doesn’t let her limitations discourage her. She’s a terrible artist and not really what anyone would call graceful even if she’s beautiful. By contrast, Alma is closed off with a solemn, cold image that discourages people from disrespecting her. She looks tougher than Navata, with lots of scars, but she’s much more elegant. They’ve each given things up for the sake of their position, but together they are able to recapture parts of themselves that have fallen by the wayside. They learn about one another’s cultures as Alma competes in suitor trials to win Navata’s hand.

Balthazar/Charles: These two are the original romance plot from the world Alma, Navata, and Mauve are from. Their story is on the back-burner right now but I still love them. Bal is rough around the edges but kind and earnest. Charles is kind of a flirt and he’s good at being charming; he’s knowledgeable, but he can also be a little naive, especially when it comes to his own family. Charles and Bal are childhood best friends who have been nursing crushes on each other for years and years. They share pretty much everything with each other — for example, even though Charles is very close with his sisters, it’s Bal he goes to first when something’s troubling him. And Bal is very protective of Charles, because he knows Charles’ dad treats him badly. However, Bal is unwillingly betrothed to Charles’ younger sister, Lucille. He plans to fight it and express his feelings to Charles, but his plan gets derailed when, during Bal’s coronation ball, Charles is hit with a curse that freezes him in ice. Bal spends the next five years doing everything he can to break the curse while the ice slowly overtakes his castle.

10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings?

Umm probably not?

I think needlessly making your characters suffer is just an exercise in sadism, lol, but I do think you’ll get a bad story if you helicopter parent as well and don’t let your characters make mistakes and suffer consequences.

As for “killing your darlings” in terms of getting rid of scenes or plot lines that you love... I think it’s stupid. If you remove the parts of your story that make you happy just so it will be nebulously “better”, aren’t you destroying what makes it yours instead of just some stupid formulaic “best seller”? I don’t know, that’s just how I feel about it.

11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why?

Plotting, definitely. Worldbuilding can be fun when it comes easy but other times you’re staring at a blank page trying to come up with fantasy names or mindlessly researching which fruits grow in what climate and you just want to stab yourself with a pencil. Don’t even get me started on dealing with how to represent different languages without having to actually Tolkien it and spend fifty years fucking inventing them. I’m not a linguist, dammit, I’m an author.

[captainjellyroll]

Ok, I just read your FAQ and I was wondering a few things. Number one; you said you are gender fluid, and also identify as a boy; do your parents know? And how did you come out of the closet? 'Cause I'm a closeted trans boy, and I want to tell people to identify me as that, but I am quite hesitant and nervous. Number two; how did people react to your coming out? If you told people? I'm kinda in your position of sexuality and I know you said your blog isn't focused on this but I wanted to know.

i have a... “special” relationship with my family, and i have this fear of ruining our bond and dynamic w/ me suddenly telling them about this whole new side of me. a couple family members know, but thats it. my parents just know im gay (as far as im concerned). i dont know when or how im gonna tell them, but right now, im hesitant bc i just dont want them to see me differently. its complicated,,,,, “orz

so, i didnt come out as a different gender to them. but; i didnt come out as gay either-- they just.. kinda figured it out after i kept inviting “special” friends overnight. >//w//> ;; (also my siblings totally fuckign outed me on that part asdjfglhsf--)

my entiiiire family knew i was pretty fucking gay. so there wasnt really a... reaction. some of my older family members are gay and/or have had trans partners, so its nothing new. my family + extended family is pretty experienced in the LGBTQ+ scene.

that being said-- it seems like me coming out as a boy wouldnt be so hard. i mean-- everyone would accept me, and i know that for a fact. i know people would kill to be in my position right now, and would jump at the chance of coming out ASAP. i know my family would support and love me no matter what, and i bet they would even help my funds to transition. i am in a very appealing position. and i am fully aware of this.

but... its all just me.

im just scared to mess up my current relationship with my family. im scared to loose what ive built up all my life. im scared to change whats already pretty alright. im scared of being treated differently after all we’ve been through. im scared of the worst possible outcome. im just... scared.

thats a little insight on why i identify as genderfluid rather than full blown trans male. because im still holding on to that small string of happiness of being my immediate family’s “first daughter” and their “little princess”. its all i got going on in that relationship-- and i dont want to loose it.

ive been trying to mend things with my immediate family-- because even though our living situation had gotten sticky before i moved out, deep down i still loved them and cared for them. but i guess thats why i NEEDED to move out. so i can know what its like being on my own and what i really wanted. did i want to keep this past identity to keep my family, or chase after my desires and start all over??? its all hard and complicated, and it hurts when i think about it for too long.

but yeah. besides my family situation-- i grew up in a very progressive area in a progressive state (Bay Area, California lmao). everyone started to come out as early as middle school, and i grew up on a place where there was virtually no bullying at all. so all my friends/teachers/peers didnt care if i was gay or trans or smth else, bc it was the norm. so again-- no reaction there. just another day in the life.

i didnt know it was NOT normal until i went on the internet and heard horror stories about discrimination. so-- my life and experiences with society and the LGBTQ+ community is VERY flip-flopped compared to every other goddamn person on this fucked up planet. i lived in an ideal world.

so im sorry i couldnt help much, my situation is VERY rare (i’ve learned) and i feel terrible that my experiences didnt line up with everyone else’s. i wish this was universal-- and it absolutely tore my heart up into pieces learning what the rest of the world was like.

i hope you come out and live a comfortable life being yourself. and i hope your life is easy on you for being who you are-- and i know for a fact you’ll do great once you do decide on what to do next. the universe has its way of rewarding those who deserve good karma-- so keep ur chin up and do your best!!! i love you!!!!

(and if anything goes array- just move to California HAHA)