#i mean pretty boy nigel is right there

[hoyt-and-cavanaugh]

[missmarveledsblog]

Is it the end? ( Joel miller x reader)

summary : y/n opens up the about the past, mark starts on his plan and well a patrol leads to an ambush , y/n face the beast of the past and this time she ready to go down to make sure he can't hurt those she has come to love even if it means she might never see them again

warnings : angst as fuck some fluffy moments but this one is also heavy , mentions of abuse in the past including SA , domestic violence , facing an abuser , violence a lot

A.N : this whole chapter is a warning if any of the following could trigger please look after yourself and skip this one (you're not alone , you got this, we are all proud of you ) hopefully see you in happier fic in future

Previous part

Maybe it was the events of the night or maybe it was because it was Joel miller. She never felt this way , something her mother described  as love it was all new and scary and yet it filled her with warmth , comfort and safety when the man was near her. How instinctively her body new he was close like sense searching him out and even in her most scared state she felt the rush of calm the moment his arms where touching her skin, his scent of  oak and musk in her nostrils and the gruff husk to his voice all those made her feel safe , all those felt like home. The man who made her feel like she wasn’t alone again . years of living hell more hell then infected hell she’d prefer them to her ex.They had more mercy , mindless zombies had more compassion then her ex to which is she didn’t get free well she would of threw herself to them. But here she was with joel sitting on edge of his bed and she wanted to be open with him completely , not hold or hide anything. 

“ i wasn’t scared because it was nigel ,it wasn’t anything to do with him it was the feeling that sent me back” she breathed out feeling the words ready to burst from her mouth like a dam every single one  that needed to be said.” he wasn’t the one that was attacking me like in my head it wasn’t him, it was like i was back there back in a past so dark it felt like a black hole, sucking the life out of me every second i didn’t even feel like a person just puppet on a string or when times seemed fit the whipping boy for when he was having a bad day”she laughed dryly .

“Jonah found me i was exhausted , starving and probably on the brink of death i thought he was my knight in shining armor like stories my mama told me about as little girl , he was on a horse and everything, brought me back to his camp and i had food and warm clothe even a blanket because i refused to ruin my brothers, then after a while i found my prince was a monster with a pretty mask , one that hid the evil he truly was start slow i would talk to passers by the first time he hit me claimed it was some sort of ptsd thing then he stopped using excuse , stopped wearing the mask every time i opened my eye i hated it , hated he didn’t just kill me like he kept telling me it wasn’t something i feared anymore it was something i wished for only thing i had was that blanket, my mama made it from some wool we found , then jonah found it made his men hold me down and he burnt it right before my eyes and something snapped inside when he went  let the melted material fall i grabbed his knife i cut him , i cut em all and ran with the bag  on my back, then there i was falling over my own feet , starved , dehydrated and my body ready to give up until a man called out just as i hit the ground ,i woke up here  in jackson and your brother as telling me i was ok , i was safe” she sniffled .

“ so when nigel hit me pushed me it wasn’t him i was seeing , smelling and hearing it was jonah like i did every single day since i was fifteen” she smiled weakly the tear that filled her waterline and once more she spent a night crying in joel millers arms feeling the weight of the past off of her shoulder. 

He just held her ,tight holding only her . she didn’t need his words to tell her how strong and amazing she was that could wait. What she need was to feel safe , to truly feel protected. How much he hated the world for trying to break her , how it made her hurt in ways a person should never hurt.  She needed to feel comfort and security to know that he had her, he was going to protect her no matter what . Tommy must have known more about his behavior to suggest it   he wasn’t going to ask. She already told him so much but he could only imagine what else the monster had done. It didn't take rocket science to see that .  He hoped his touch told her what his mouth didn’t , He meant it every sense that day he said it , she had him  in every way she wanted him .  More and more he felt him drawn to her seeing every side to the woman and she was still beautiful even more so like a flower blooming  a bed of weeds . one he will do everything and anything to keep it flourishing . he barely slept that night , watching her sleep the way her lashes touched her cheeks , the soft even breathes that pull and pushed through the pillow plush lips .  How perfect she fit in his arms like she was always meant to be there , how she should always be there and if he could it would always be that way . 

Mark wanted to leave , this needed to be over with  the longer he was gone the more danger they were in .  Jonah promised they would be safe if he did this but it even he couldn’t trust that man’s word , he did know once this was over he was taking his wife and daughter some where else far away shit he would build a boat if he needed to .  It need to end soon longer he waited the longer it would take . 

“Mark we got your present” the radio crackled as he rushed off. 

“ so fucker made it huh  he should be able give you details of the patrols , y/n does them weekends two days from now i can’t stay” 

“ two days  and i get my wife back good enough for me i’ll give you a horse and your cunts back” jonah snickered. 

“ two days” mark gritted his teeth before turning the channel off. 

Even though it was an absolute nightmare of event the night before it was the best sleep she gotten in a long time , every single time she was a sleep in his arms she had dreams  actually dreams and not nightmares that made her wake in a panicked sweat . She woke rested and calm , she was safe.  Even if it was the wake of a storm she felt safe In joel millers presence . Something about the man always made her protect something wod Seem like it was made up concept . 

“ hey love bird  breakfast Soon” ellie voice called she didn't have to look at the teen to see the smirk that was there , feeling it was enough . 

“ we'll Get up in minute go ahead” his voice god his morning Voice had her thighs clenching and her stomach In a tornado Of feeling. “ darling you wake” he rasped. 

“ do I have to” she sighed nuzzling more into His chest her head bobbed at the vibration of his sleep filled laugh . 

“ sadly you do , ya need to eat and get your head checked … I mean the wound On your head checked” . 

“ need my head checked wouldn't hurt either” she snorted as she stretched out something was different yet the same like unspoken new Development to their friendship or whatever this was . 

“ don't we all come on your grumpy when ya don't eat” he pushed her gently as he got himself up the glare she sent him was down right adorable In his eyes . Leaning down as their face so close ,Eyes locked on the each . 

“ If you're good I'll Make you a cup of the good coffee” He smirked lips ghosting over her , he could easily fall into the temptation of one simple movement And he could finally feel her soft lips . Yet he pulled back as her eyes followed his confused tilt Of her head she looked like a confused puppy . The fucker was playing with her well she could match him . 

“ I ain't ever been good  might need a man put me in my place” she whispered in his ear before heading down the stairs almost beaming when she seen ellie Standing there.  That smirk all over her face as y/n descended the stairs. 

“ looked cozy up there thought i was actually going to have to go ahead”.

“ nah couldn’t leave you to walk two minutes on your own” she giggled. 

“ my hero , hows your head that bruise isn’t as big as i thought it would be either , where’s joel?” . 

“ here i am  come on both of y’all get cranky when you don’t eat” he shot y/n a look to say whatever started was definitely not over. 

The three walked easily through town til she stopped outside that alley a shiver sent through her body until she felt his hand land on her lower back and suddenly she didn’t feel so scared continuing on their journey to the mess hall. 

As soon as she walked in it was like all eyes were on her and  they probably are few looked at her with pity , some in respect and some in pride.  Tommy had a shit eating grin on his face as he almost studied the two, ellie ran off towards dina and some of the younger residents of jackson. Maria looked  both worried as she took in the injuries so did the residents doctor making her roll her eyes. 

“ after i eat you can poke away” she finally said . 

“ oh you bet your ass you should of been brought last night” the doctor playfully glared. 

“ i also need to talk to you after if you don’t mind doing it while doc does his thing”maria ask quietly.

“ course then i want the good coffee”she turned to joel.

“Fine fine come on before benny gets there before us” he chuckled  moving her along as maria gave them an appraising look to only see her own husband watching with a big grin on his face. 

The rest of the breakfast was same the two found ways of touching each other like a couple of love struck teenagers til she was taken to the clinic  both and doc wanting to make sure the wound on her head properly taking care of  . which only good thing the man could say was it was cleaned properly but it needed stitches and should of  the night before . 

“ so you wanted to talk to me what's up may as well distract me” she laughed nervously. 

“ patrol found kid note attached erm mom was  well found not far later but was too late .. couple that was gonna take him changed there mind and maura she is watching him but she too old for kid so was wondering if he could stay with you” maria explain softly  and carefully. 

“ how old ? “  she asked wincing and gripping the chair as she felt the skin being pulled. 

“ four  his names charlie , cute little thing”. 

“ can i think about it after patrol this weekend i’ll give you an answer i mean its alot” she went to look at the woman. 

“ yeah of course i can take your time really” maria nodded . “ are you her shadow” the woman joked. 

“ something like that erm she ok”joel asked. 

“ fine but i needed stitches which i tried to tell the old fool it was my idea not come here” y/n winced . 

“ bad influence young lady” the man playfully chuckled cutting the thread. “ come back in a couple days to check it over keep it clean now off with you” he shooed her off. 

“ and i thought you liked me” she pouted.  

“ as much as a headache” the doc grumbled. 

Maybe it was the way she was raised , a couple who could of easily left her to die but choose to care for a complete strangers child not once but twice and the conditions We're  less dangerous than before  so maybe  it was something to consider .  Like a sort of paying it forward help a child like she was . She could ask ellie to help watch on patrols but then again this was big what if the possibility  Of jackson falling and then she was trying to survive with a child and watch if she screwed kid up.

  She walked Through town watching where he was . He was playing with his toys as the elderly woman watched. The way his Eyes lit Up with the snow all around til he must of felt her eyes on him suddenly he was looking right at her and wasn't charlie it was her brother lucas the way he would play , his Little chubby cheeks that went Rosie when it was cold. Yet when she blink he was gone Charlie head tilted looking at the woman . She gave a warm smile and wave although joel could see it , he knew that feeling of seeing a person of the past in someone else . 

“come On darling let's get that good coffee” he smiled softly . 

“ you think I could do it,  don't pretend you don't know “ she smiled weakly. 

“ I was one to suggest it at meeting” he nodded . 

“ you have too much faith in Me joel miller” she sighed laying her head on his shoulder As they walked . 

“  nah I just know you'll know how he feels” he said wrapping his arm around her shoulder letting himself being so close. 

“ I'll make  my choice after patrol” she nodded although he had a feeling that she Already  had her answer.  

The two could feel the shift Hell a blind person could see it . They were so close  and yet each waiting on the other to make that move . Each afraid of reading it wrong in so sort of way although  It was just more afraid. She sat closer to him, he would touch her more letting himself get closer , each so close and so far. 

They were like that the whole couple of days it was driving them both crazy  just wanting to take that step joel more so . 

“ you gonna grow a pair and make a move” tommy asked as they all were tired of the dance and just wanting the two to finally just get together. 

“ I was thinking talking to her tonight but since you got  like four of us out here I’ll have to change my plan” joel sighed although slightly relieved at the change of plan knowing it was safer in case nigel was out there .

“ well he's armed, Mark was too busy beating him to notice slimy prick taking them hence him want making it right” tommy huffed. 

“ yeah well I ain't worried about them” joel huffed as she walked past on the horse . 

“ you girls gonna keep chattering or will we get going” she smirked . 

“ you were less mean when you didn't talk” tommy playfully narrowed his eyes at her. 

“ well blame your brother is like that pardon box thing” she shrugged. 

“ Pandora box sugar “ tommy snorted 

“ yeah that too come on” she laughed as joel hopped on his own horse they all walked out. It wasn't a big one just check around make sure everything was safe make sure the cabin was empty and if it wasn't make sure it wasn't raiders. She sat on her horse humming away  eyes looking around she wasn't scared whether nigel was armed or not , he wasn't greatest a shooting and his knife or fake knife skills well they weren’t  anything to fear but she would give him on thing he was sneaky.  But he wasn't around he was definitely gone she nothing was around not an animal or infected but she stalled moment she seen the prints in snow .

“ something this way” she called bolting off before anyone could grasp her words .

“ I got her” mark headed off as joel and kai  the other man followed after. 

She kept going and going she was ahead of group something she now regret something in her stomach told her to run but before she could even turn she was knocked off the horse hitting the ground with a thud knocking the air from her lung  as the sound of footstep came towards her . The crunch in the snow was she tried to focus her vision on the blur looming over her .

“ i missed ya darling” that voice , that voice that made her stomach twist and turn , the one that made the bile rise in her throat . 

“ fuck you” she gasped feeling his boot heavy on her throat.  

“ aint something you should say your husband dear” he pulled her up by the hair. 

......

She pushed and pulled out his how not caring for how it felt like her scalp was burning in his hold. One thump to her head she was out cold. 

“ good job Mark shame was fer nothing huh” jonah laughed shooting the approaching man before his men put y/n on his horse and leaving the area hearing the ones approaching . 

When joel finally got there was two minute later ,  he wanted to scold her for taking a head  when he saw mark on ground and her horse empty  something told him that wasn't going to happen today . 

“ where is”  joel crouched voice trailing off at the sight of more blood trailing off . 

“ jonah took her  , he said he'd give me my family back if I did” mark laughed coughing as blood stained his lips . “ settlement up … fuck up north about an hour an abandoned warehouse they stay in cold months ” mark cough and spluttered. 

“ get tommy on radio now” joel growled not knowing if he should save the bastard or let him suffer. Saving him would help get y/n back . “ why didn't you ask us help stupid bastard” he pushed harder on the wound making man cry out. 

“ you don't know them like I do their worse than a rabid dog” .

“ well time put rabid dog down” joel growled.  

“ tommy and men on their way doc too” kai spat looking down at the man , the betrayal.  

“ she dies you will regret it I don't care who you think jonah is or how bad if y/n get hurt well  even devil himself will stop me” he spat . 

She woke up tied up to pole in an abandoned office it seemed as she looked around . 

“ well wife good to see your finally home , I may  forgive you some time but this ain't that time “ he slapped her hard making her head jerk to the side with the blunt force of it . 

“ you think I'm scared I got away once I can again” she laughed only to be slapped again . “ jesus you hit like a bitch” . 

“ looks like I gotta train you again I got time hell might break those legs of yours” he kicked her in the stomach making her slump over gasping for air. “ would you look at that I still take your breathe away” he chuckled. 

“ when I do get free I will make sure your dead this time” she growled feeling the hilt of her blade still there. 

 “ well our new  man here will make sure you dont” he smiled whistling as nigel walked in  face as smug as anything . 

“ ah the guy who tried rape me I'll make sure to kill him too” she spat only the mood instantly shifted as jonah head shot to the man.

“ she liar man” nigel laughed not noticing the shift. 

“ his hand will show you other wise I cut him with your knife both have matching scars now real besties” she rolled her eyes. 

“ show me your hand” jonah stalked closer. 

 “ she lying man I didn't touch her” nigel backed up his smug smile long gone . only as jonah pulled him close seeing the same blade pattern his blade across the wound .

“ you tried take what's mine huh guess both ya need teaching “ he growled knocking man to the ground kicking him hard . Giving her time to pull the knife from her sleeve cutting the binds . 

He kept kicking and kicking as the man below him stopped moving only stopping when he felt the metal touch his throat. 

“ put that down sweety and I'll forgive you”. 

“ only thing that's being put down is you , how dumb you think I am to think you would forgive you psychotic fuck” she pressed harder making him hiss only for him to slam his head back hitting hers he pulled out of her hold and she held on the knife. 

“ I don't care if it kills me but you ain't walking out this office alive “ she stood adrenaline coursing through her veins as she jumped behind the desk as he pulled his pistol out , she smiled feeling hers in her boot pulling it out she stood only for him to be right there his gun pointing right at her.  Two pulled and pushed the guns direction as she heard more shots and screaming behind her . She heard joel  calling her name that all she needed to push the gun from her to him as it went off sending her ex to the ground. 

“ I ain't that scared little child bride of yours I keep my promises now she took her own revolver shooting him in the head.  Walking needing to get to him only door open their he was standing completely in front of her .  While hers showed relief , he told different story. 

“hey what's wrong” she stood confused til she followed his line of site seeing what had him so concerned the knife sticking out her stomach.

“ why don't I feel it” she said slowly slumping to the floor. As joel and tommy ran over both ignoring two dead men  only focusing on her. 

“ I need to stop meeting you like this” she joked looking at tommy as he torn  her husband shirt off placing it around the wound . 

“ hey look at me we're  gonna get you to doc right” joel promised holding her hand. 

“ joel hour way I don't think we can..” tommy hissed. 

“ I got him , he thought was gonna be scared little girl but I got him” she smiled weakly Trying not to scream . 

“ you show em who boss” tommy felt himself getting choked up . 

“ we need to move her  some how” joel yelled feeling a sick sense of history repeating.  He couldn't watch another Person he love die in his arm not again it was good enough killing him . 

Her eyes felt heavy  everything felt sore and burning yet she felt weightless . 

Her hand lifting weakly towards his face holding it like it was last time she was going to see maybe She would See see him again  in another life more peaceful life not Filled with infected or Monsters under the guise of men . then Her hand felt and hit the ground , everything was cold and black  as she watched the sequence of her life passing by most of best parts involved joel  , she finally understood what those stories Meant , the ones of the Knight Saving the princess .  Joel miller was her Knight and she was happy she knew a good man , she was happy to fall In love . 

next part

Taglist: @harriedandharassed @vickie5446

[prince-strife]

So I watched “Like Minds” (I’m super unwell about gay people)

this one is like 3x longer than the tenet one

spoilers for a movie that came out 20 years ago ig

alex is clearly rly smart but he’s a right prick about it

nigel sure does like to stare 🤨🤨

oh so he’s a little freak. bro’s got a taxidermy cat in his luggage

ARE THEY MAKING BOMBS??

well. def explosives

DOES HE TAXIDERMY THE ANIMALS HIMSELF

he rly likes dead stuff…

not the gay little obsession

GIRL RECORK YOUR WINE BOTTLE

NIGEL WHY ARE YOU DISSECTING BIRDS IN YOUR BEDROOM

he’s so pretty tho fr mfer has gorgeous eyes

bro fuck this cop frfr

he did not seriously just punch this kid

oooh alex is fucked in the head too. inch resting

alex is one of those rich boys ._.

“obligations” hmmm i Do Not like the sound of that

WAIT THAT WAS HIS DAD??? that explains that ig

wait why is alex on the villains wiki. WHY IS ONE OF HIS CRIMES NECROPHILIA

interesting that alex is so aggressively anti-church (as an establishment, i mean)

ooooh nigel is Looking at him

not him fighting with his teacher

taking detailed notes about the people around him…nigel colbie autism

nooo leave him alone :((

alex is so mean to him omg. let him be a little freak in peace

HOLY SHIT HE JUST KILLED THAT KID

OHHH SALLY ROWE IS FUCKIN. JONI THROMBEY

wtf ym you “can’t find” the colbies..

omg staring across a casket at each other..

tom sturridge is so fucking beautiful i’m unwell

“i almost missed him” 🤨🤨

38 minutes in and i think this is the longest we’ve heard nigel speak

THE FUCK BOOK IS HE READING FOR THIS CLASS

idk i need nigel and alex to kiss

WOAH NIGEL JUST GOT REALLY CLOSE

“i’m really sorry about your friend” baby don’t lie no the fuck you’re not

smth abt the way nigel said “but you don’t have to worry” reminds me of the scene at the end of batman where joker is telling the riddler he did a good job.

THE GLARE AT THIS POOR GIRL nigel looks jealous as fuck

nigel baby giving the boy you like a hand is not the way to his heart

“it looks like you need a hand.” BABE. NO. TOO ON THE NOSE

he’s so cute in his lil jumper

SITTING ON HIS BED??? LEANING OVER HIM WHILE HE SLEEPS???? nah this is. gay behaviour

“alex, wake up. i’ve got a night planned 🥺” aww they’re gonna go on a date

oh they’re super close. NOW KISS

ooh hanging the essay over his head

the big smile… “are you having fun?” the little giggle. the smirk. he hates his ass. he is so in love with him. WHAT IS GOING ON

hmm i do not trust this

THE PUPPYY

“i’ve never brought anybody here before” INTERESTING (“i’m being vulnerable plz don’t be a dick abt this”)

i’ve still got an hour left of this movie good god

my mom is watching gbbo rly loudly and i just got super confused as to why the music Did Not Match the scene

“do you like it 🥺🥺” NIGEL. BABY. he’s so proud of his weird little lab it’s so cute

these little history nerds…

i rly thought nigel was gonna cuddle into him for a second

HELLO NIGEL IS STARING AT HIS LIPS????

“do you know what a pike is?” batting his eyes, looking as coquettish as possible. oh my god. oh my god.

CALLING HIM JACK. i’m so unwell this is so gay.

“we’ve been brought together for a reason” oh my god he thinks they’re murder soulmates

HIS SMILLLLEE

“for eternity.” gnawing on the bars of my enclosure

not him asking her out, nigel’s gonna be PISSED

the sword to his neck 🤭 OMG THE RUNNING IT DOWN HIS SPINE WHAT THE FUCK

the way he says “jack” i’m gonna pass out

“my name is alex. stay away from me.” NOOO it’s ok nigel i’ll be your jack

taking the gay goggles off for a second nigel clearly is in desperate need of a friend and is trying so hard to make alex his friend and it’s making me super sad bc he doesn’t seem to quite understand why it’s not working :(((

but also nigel baby stop breaking into his room

it’s giving yandere tbh

“what’s with the knife” *biggest most innocent doe eyes* “i don’t know what you mean, jack”

HOLY SHIT NIGEL. I FIGURED HE WAS GONNA KILL HER BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

i feel bad for her fr tho she didn’t do nothin wrong. not her fault alex is oblivious to his psychopath boyfriend

lol alex looking around for nigel when he finds out she’s dead. he’s not stupid, i’ll give him that

HE TOOK THE KNIFE

nigel’s very bad at acting innocent

“i sense some hostility” NO REALLY

they look like they’re abt to kiss

“no jack, you did it.” babe.

“feels good to vent one’s anger doesn’t it jack””i don’t want any part of this” “too late for that”

oh he’s CRAZY

he so sure that alex is just as nuts as he is.

OHH MCKENZIE IS IN THE CLUB TOO?? INTERESTING

wtf happened to nigel’s parents

babe being cryptic is not helping your situation

OOOH ARE THEY GONNA FIND NIGEL’S LITTLE ROOM OF CREEPY SHIT

i bet his parents are dead

hehe the jack <3

his jars of dead shit are so weird

was that a drawing of the dead kid?

nigel has rly nice handwriting omg

idk if the knowledge that it’s purely for scientific interest makes the pictures of the sleeping girl better or worse

HE TAXIDERMIZED HIS PARENTS???

he calls them helen and john???

love him introducing alex like he’s his boyfriend

THE EYE CONTACT HELLO??

nigel looks so dead inside omg

“stop it, nigel :((“

OH HE MADE THE BIBLE??? i thought it was a book he had not smth he created that’s actually pretty cool

“our union” 🤨🤨 its giving marriage

“nigel was right about this” hmmm boyfriend behaviour

omg mckenzie SUCKS like he’s just kind of an asshole

“i knew you couldn’t resist a secret rendezvous <3”

“you didn’t know nigel”

DID HE FUCK HER CORPSE

“my dearest jack”

IS HE SLEEPING WITH HIS MOTHER

THE PICTURES WERE OF HIS MOTHER????

his lack of reaction to her getting shot…

SO MUCH JUST HAPPENED IN A SPAN OF 30 SECONDS

he’s so clinical about the cleanup…

he’s so pretty…

HES SO FUCKED IN THE HEAD

omg does he want jack to be his maraclea is that why he got the gun (ik his mom was his maraclea let me be delulu)

he rly thinks this is completely justified

HOLF SHIT HE PULLED THE TRIGGER

i’m so sad he’s dead :(( gimme my babygirl back

holy fuck alex got released

AND HE KEPT THE BOOK

“my beloved susan” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

“nigel got what he wanted…eternity”

OH MY FUCKING GOD J CANT BELEJEV HE DID THAT… continuing nigel’s work… oh my fucking god

“you like history.” BITCH WHAT

Edit: I forgot to give the movie a rating .-. 500/10 i fucking loved it, i’m already making a forbie playlist

[phanfictioncatalogue]

If I asked you to rec me a single chaptered fic (any amount of words, happy ending) that's any trope, which one would you recommend?

I like to read a little something before bed :)

Oh! I’m so glad you asked! Other admins feel free to add on!!

(A few of these are dark but have happy endings I promise)

Give Yourself a Try (ao3) - analester

Summary: Phil Lester thinks he is straight. At least until he gets to uni and meets Dan Howell. Being gay is extremely frowned upon, so Phil tries his best to stay away from Dan, but it becomes difficult when his professor asks Dan to tutor him. Afraid of being shunned by his friends and family, Phil tries his best to suppress his feelings, but how can he when Dan is so pretty?

In the Light of the Moon (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan Howell’s never had any friends. Why? Because he has a superpower. One that he can’t control. Luckily, the new kid at his school doesn’t mind.

In Which Dan Is A Bit Of An Asshole And The Whole Story Is One Big, Fat Cliché (ao3) - obsessivechild

Summary: Dan hated school. He hated running. He hated going out. He hated homework. But above all, he hated Philip Lester.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

(TW) Missing (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: "So we have a new update on the serial killer running loose around London-" Dan turns the tv off, he didn't want to hear anymore. He just wanted Phil back home, safe and sound.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

(TW) See Me (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Dan gets in an accident, leaving him in critical condition. He ends up stuck in between life and death, watching his own body fight to stay alive- and watching Phil fall apart, but he can’t do anything about it in his ghostly form.

He was confused and didn’t know what to do but he was sure of one thing, he wasn’t going to let himself die.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

the second tetris block (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Things seem to be falling into place for Phil.

The Traces We Leave (ao3) - angstangelo

Summary: AU where Dan is working in a café for uni and Phil is a customer with paint splattered arms who takes his coffee with an unnecessary amount of sugar.

The World Going By My Window (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: Dan is a reluctant Crown Prince, always watching the world outside his window and wondering what else is out there. As he walks through the village outside the Castle walls one day, he meets an quirky villager with a passion for nature, an oddly constructed house, and a secretive past.

Venus's Looking Glass (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrayne)

Summary: Shy!punk!Phil has been crushing on confident!pastel!Dan for years now, but he’s never felt comfortable enough to do anything about it until he accidentally comes out to his brother Martyn, who is nothing but supportive. It’s Martyn’s idea to woo Dan with flowers - only, he didn’t mean do it anonymously.

We'll Never Be Royals (Extended) (ao3) - phanimist

Summary: royalty au where phil's the kind handsome prince and dan's a poor commoner who dreams of becoming world class musician. phil's parents hold a ball so he can meet his suitors, but he ends up falling for the pianist instead.

-Rae

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

Ψ M is for Maraclea: Chapter One

M is for Maraclea: Following an accident you had over summer break, you find yourself in limbo after being legally dead for several minutes. Now an outcast at boarding school, you end up finding comfort in a strange boy named Nigel. As winter draws near and tragedy strikes, your only reprieve from madness comes from a mind much like your own.

Warnings: Mentions of Drowning, Mean Girls, Reader Has Trauma.

To Note: Nigel Colbie x Fem!Reader, NAMED Reader for Plot Reasons, There Are A Lot of DARK Themes.

Word Count: ~2.3k

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You felt like you were going to fall asleep. Mrs. Kamp had one of those voices that put many a girl to sleep during her lectures on the 17th century religious between the king and parliament. You didn’t quite understand why this subject why it was so important to go so in-depth about it. Probably because your boarding school was religious. Very religious. The entire reason you were there. Your father was busy dealing with your brother, the last thing he needed was for you to cause him trouble too.

Granted your boarding school was only a stones throw from Alex’s, and where your father was currently headmaster, but you still felt like he was trying to send you off for someone else to take of. Lord knows he’s still quite paranoid after what happened over the summer. You were about to start drawing another round of circles in your notebook when you felt the girl behind you poke your back.  Your pencil paused and you heaved an internal sigh as a crumpled note sailed over your shoulder.

With a clenched jaw, you reached for the note and slowly uncrumpled it, your eyes tiredly watching as Mrs. Kamp continued to drone on about the crusades and the importance of attending Sunday mass. Eyes dropping ever so briefly, you didn’t even other to read the full message when you caught sight of your new nickname. Zombie Fish Girl.

Nearly everyone at the school called you that. Certainly after the news of your accident circulated the social groups. You’d been visiting a great aunt in the countryside and several town girls had invited you to go swimming. Long story short, you’d suffered a muscle cramp and had ended up drowning. You’d been dead for about five minutes before you miraculously came back to life. You did quite understand how the story of your accident had reached your school. But it had, and the girls had been mercilessly teasing you about it ever since. Perhaps tease, wasn’t the right word. Cruel. That was far more accurate. At the very least your roommate was quite nice, but Susan was nice to everyone. You ignored the note for the rest of the class and tossed it in the bin as you left.

Ignoring the snickers an snide calls as you walked the halls of your school were easy enough, but avoiding sharp elbows and feet purposely stuck out, was hard. Certainly when your things went flying and you crashed down onto your knees with a grimace. Like today. Only you had a few extra books with you and your pencil pouch burst open at the seams.

Trying not to scream or cry in frustration, you reached out and began collecting your things. Pencils clenched in your grasp, you shoved them into the pocket of your school blazer and picked up the scrap of your pencil pouch. You’d stitched it shut the last time it broke open… but this time you were pretty sure that no amount of stitching would fix what had broken. Much like you. Feet appeared in your side vision and Susan knelt down next to you, grabbing the rest of your loose papers and stacking them in a neat pile.

“I’ve asked them to stop several times,” Susan softly mentioned, handing you your papers as you gathered your books against your chest. “I don’t understand why they won’t listen.”

“They’re just being girls,” You mumbled, getting to your feet and trying not to grimace as your knees sharply ached. You glanced down and saw that you had broken skin on the old stone floor, blood slowly dripped down your shin. Staring numbly at your battered, broken, and bruised skin, your face remained passive as you blinked tiredly. You couldn’t wait to get away from this place.

“It is still cruel of them to make fun of something that was so serious,” Susan tutted, her eyes carefully examining you. You’d changed when you came back from summer vacation, and she knew that the accident was the cause of it. Since meeting you in year nine, Susan had gotten to know you as a quiet but nice girl. Someone who actively participated in the school activities. You were just a shell now. “Why don’t to come with me to practice? There’s a grand piano we’re using for the play and Michael from the academy is sick, so we don’t have someone to play for us while we practice.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve touched a piano.” You mused. Your father wouldn’t be pleased to hear that and would want you to make sure that you were keeping up with the skill. “I suppose if I could help.” Susan hummed happily and you walked along side her, back to your shared dorm. After dropping off your school supplies, you and Susan began the trek to the boys academy. It wasn’t the far of a walk, perhaps a kilometer and a half, but it was a winding one.

You were walking in silence with a few other groups from your academy, listening to their giggles and gossip while enjoying the dampness that hung in the air.

“We really should have cleaned up your knees before leaving the dorm, Mary.” Susan tutted, glancing down at your knees. You’d really taken a tumble when you had been tripped. “I’m sure that the nurse at the boys academy will have something that we can use to clean your wound.” You made sound of acknowledgment and let your eyes wander to the lake that separated the girls academy from the boys. The water was gentle, barely disturbed by the somber of the day.

A normal person would have some fear of water after drowning, certainly being so close to such a large lake. But not you. You found the water placid, inviting, curious even. What you would give to feel that beautiful peace once more. Susan drew you from your inner thoughts.

“Oh, it looks like we got here before everyone else,” She mused, eyeing the rather empty hall where the play would take place. You blinked, wondering why you had arrived at the academy. Time either slipped by incredibly fast for you, or it lasted an eternity. Looking around, your eyes settled on the grand piano set up in the corner of the large space. “You will find the sheet music in a folder.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” You murmured, silently making your way over to the piano. The folder was resting on the stand. You took it and looked in the contents. It was all family complex pieces, no novice would accomplish playing the entirety of the play, that was for sure. You look at your fingers, wondering if you still play as well as your father had demanded. He wouldn’t want you to play if you were anything but perfect. He did have a reputation to uphold.

“Do you think you’ll manage?” Your eyes lifted to see Susan gazing at you with a hopeful look. 

“I will need to practice, but yes,” You replied, closing the folder. Susan beamed at you and the chatter of other girls and a few of the boys from the academy proceeded to steal her attention away. Setting the folder to the side, you took a seat on the piano bench and lightly ran your fingers over the ivory keys. Familiar yet foreign. Everything felt foreign after you died. Pressing down on a key, you carefully listened to the sound the large instrument made.

“It needs to be tuned,”

“Did you say something Mary?” Susan asked, pausing in her efforts to check that all of her costume was there. You lifted your eyes to meet hers and repeated yourself.

“The piano, it needs to be tuned,” You pressed the key again, making the slightly off note play again. “The strings are off.” Susan blinked for a moment before turning to Ethel, the stage manager from the girls academy.

“Will you see that the piano is tuned?” Ethel eyed you for a moment before agreeing and scribbling on the clipboard she held.

“I’ll have that done, the custodian here should be able to get it done by tomorrow.” Ethel announced before turning back to Susan, plainly ignoring your presence. You were fine with that. Ethel wasn’t one of the mean ones, she just ignored you. Since the piano needed tuning, you spent your time pressing different keys, checking the weight and pressure needed for this particular piano. You were almost grimacing from the off key notes filling the grand room.

“I didn’t know you were that bad at playing the piano, sis,” Your fingers stilled on the ivory keys and you looked to the side to see your brother lounging against a nearby doorway.

“The piano needs—”

“Tuning, clearly, even a rabid dog could sound better than that.” Alex said, cutting you off. He nodded his chin at you. “What’re you doing here?”

“I was invited,” You answered, withdrawing your hands into your lap. “I can’t imagine you had a reason for being around here willingly.’ Alex’s eyebrow arched in challenge, but before he gave you a quick witted response Susan was gliding over to you.

“Mary, Eloise was having difficulty with the strings of her dress and I could use your help.” Susan announced, breaking your concentration on your brother to look at her.

“Oh, is Sadie not here today? I thought she was in charge of the costumes.” Your comment had Susan gesturing over her shoulder.

“She stayed behind to finish some work she missed last week.” Hmm, you had noticed that Sadie has been out of class last week. Standing up, you gave your brother one last look.

“If that is all, Alex,” He smirked at you and disappeared down the hall behind him. Turning around, you faced Susan once more.

“Where is Eloise?”

“This way,”

The piano had been tuned for you and now played beautifully. This day most of the play efforts were going into building the set, so you were alone in the grand room. You were once again pressing random keys, checking to make sure that the sound produced were up to your standards. All the notes that you played sounded adequate, so you riffled through the folder of music for the play and picked one at random. Placing the sheet music in front of you, you gave it a once over to get the gist of where your finger placements would be. Then you placed your fingers on the keys, and a foot on the pedals, and began.

The music piece started off slow, single keys pressed, single notes filling the large room in a silence breaking sound. But slowly… slowly the more and more notes were added and your fingers were soon flying across the keys in rapid succession. It was a symphony of sonorous music meant to break hearts and intrude on a watery traveler. By no means was this a happy piece, no it was a dark and chilling. It was a piece that one might find in a haunted gothic church on a stormy night

But as you were slowly falling into the darkened melody, something in the back of your mind called for awareness of your surroundings. Your fingers slowed, the haunting music drifting  away to silence as you looked around with a puzzled look on your face. Were you not alone? No one was with you in the grand room, you could see that much… but at the same time you didn’t feel like you were alone. Not at all.

Rising from the piano bench, you strode a few paces, further looking around for anyone lingering. Perhaps one of the girls had forgotten something after cleaning up from rehearsal? You stepped into the foyer of the grand hall and gazed out the window. No, all the girls were still working on the set props. You must have been imagining things again, it was an increasing occurrence since the accident.

“Mary?” The call of your name from your father brought you back, and twisting your head, you saw him approaching. He’d been overly concerned for you since the summer, but at least you didn’t have to bear the brunt of his parenting while at the girls academy. Your brother wasn’t as lucky.

“Father,” You greeted quietly, wondering what he wanted from you this time. He strode up to you and looked you over, noting your banged up knees. Bruising and healed cuts marred your skin.

“I heard that you were assisting with the play by taking the piano position.” He commented, observing you closer. “I am happy to see you getting more interactive with school activities.”

“They needed someone to play the music,” You answered absentmindedly. “Susan asked if I would fill in for Michael during rehearsal.”

“Still, it’s good to see you out and about, you haven’t been the same since—” He cut himself off and cleared his throat. “Never mind that, have you been attending your doctor visits? Mrs. Smith said that you haven’t been attending the math league meetings regularly. You’ve been spending more time alone.”

“It’s not the same as it was last semester, I do not enjoy spending time around the girls as I once did,” You didn’t bother telling him about the cruel nicknames they now called you. There was no point, no one around understood what you were feeling. Your words clearly bothered your father, but he couldn’t complain when you weren’t hiding out in your dorm room reading. This was far better than that.

“Do keep attending rehearsals,” He ordered. “To get back to your normal life you need to stop hiding yourself away.” You stood stiffly as he walked away, feeling nothing within your heart. Your father was just another person who didn’t understand. Glancing back at the piano, you briefly thought about returning to it and immersing yourself in that gothic music once more. In the end you decided to numb yourself with a chilly walk back to your dorm.

Date Published: 8/14/23

Last Edit: 8/14/23

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[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

💉doctorhelenmagnus reblogged youcantseeme

💉doctorhelenmagnus Follow

Another sign the stress is getting to me. I'm late again.

#someone's been naughty #magnitt baby anyone? #i will wage money on this #<<<prev poster #nigel what the bloody hell? #that is not what i meant #but you are right #oh no

3 Notes

⚗️the-sixth-member-of-the-five Follow

Guess who burned down a lab today?

17 Notes

🔒scotland-yard-official Follow

We are taking this opportunity to remind the public of London that White Chapel is still considered unsafe at this time.

We are, however, making progress in the current case and have made several more arrests just today.

Edit: please note that a laboratory is burning uncontrollably and should be avoided until contained. Some idiot was mixing chemicals.

⚗️the-sixth-member-of-the-five Follow

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!

1,630 Notes

⚡genius-child-of-lightning Follow

Saw this pretty woman today:

#white dove #animals #art #drew her myself

0 Notes

🔍doctor-of-detection Follow

I need a gallon of black tea.

And sleep.

And more tea.

And laudanum for the bloody migraine.

271 Notes

🩺doctormagnussenior Follow

@doctorhelenmagnus

We're extending the expedition for another month, sweetheart!

Stay safe with the boys.

7 Notes

🧥youcantseeme Follow

Feeling sentimental for Oxford today.

Best days of my life.

⚗️the-sixth-member-of-the-five Follow

They could have been better, but I do miss all of you.

🧥youcantseeme

What the bloody hell are you doing on my post, midget???

Your username is pathetic. Change it.

⚗️the-sixth-member-of-the-five

Make me.

35 Notes

⚡genius-child-of-lightning Follow

Vote!!!

Thanks to @ youcantseeme for the names.

💉doctorhelenmagnus Follow

Nikola! Take that down!

⚡genius-child-of-lightning

But I'm winning.

🔪gone-in-a-flash Follow

Nikola...

⚡genius-child-of-lightning

When did you change your picture? Is that for me, Johnny?

#vote teslen #piss john off #not taking this down #polls

984 Notes

🔍doctor-of-detection Follow

If I receive one more call to view grammatically incorrect taunts, I will go insane.

🔪gone-in-a-flash Follow

Whoops, misspelled a lot of words.

🔍doctor-of-detection

What do you mean whoops?

🔪gone-in-a-flash

...

🔍doctor-of-detection

John, what does whoops mean.

🔪gone-in-a-flash

...

🔍doctor-of-detection

JOHN?!?

12k Notes

[sakebytheriver]

Thoughts on the latest Ghosts episode? 😊

Gosh, ok, where to start 😭😭😭

I guess I'll start by saying, Hetty's crack about checkmating Nigel was almost verbatim a line I wrote in my fanfic, like I spent so long looking for another way to say "checkmated" but ultimately just got rid of the word altogether because it sounded too cheesy 😭😭😭 like heres the line I went with instead

"...but once Nigel invited her after he invited Nancy, Hetty knew what he was planning. She could already see the chess board laid out in her mind of all the social slights and language stunts and all the petty little tricks, she learned from being an aristocrat in the 1800s, that she and Nigel would begin to move across the board each trying to get the upper hand on each other. By the end of it, one of them would win, and Hetty has never lost a game of chess."

So uh, yeah I'm pretty happy with all of my choices so far 😂😂😂

And as for the H-money stuff, it was cute 🤷‍♀️

The show is moving them into romantic territory now it seems and that's kind of where I check out of the ship a bit, sorry 😬

I loved the moment in the kitchen when Trevor's making innuendo trying to tempt Hetty into bed, like "I know a position you like being in" 😭 sir. And then she's like "no way... ok meet me downstairs in five" 😫😫 they're just so horny all the time I can't with them, but I mean to be fair what else is there to do for all eternity 😭😭😭

I loved Sas' reaction to them the most, where he was like "damnit I'm missing so much drama" that's my fave character right there folks 😭😭😭😭

Also Isaac's "found your stable boy" crack was like, bro just called Trevor a pretty boy and a boytoy in the most subtle way he could, I cannot 😭

Of course, I loved Trevor's chivalry after he ended things with Hetty and still took the library bullet for her, he's a sweet guy and I love that for him (and for Hetty). Also, the Splash roleplay 😭😭😭 Trevor, my guy. He just like me fr (both attracted to mermaids). The confrontation about Hetty really being ashamed of hooking up with Trevor and how he thought it was all just a roleplay game and that he doesn't like how this feels was pretty formulaic and predictable, not in a bad way just in the Ghosts CBS way 😂

idk it was fine, I really have no sappy thoughts about those two, I just wanna see them fuck constantly 😭😭😭

I have no idea where they're gonna go with them now that they're public about the relationship, I feel like it's prolly gonna take a backseat for a while and that it'll only show up as Trevor making some crude joke or reference to his sex life with Hetty in front of everyone that she scolds him for 😭 but tbh I really just don't know where they're gonna take them now that it's explicit that this is going down a romantic route, I just don't have thoughts about it I'm sorry 😭😭😭

Also, also Alberta's descendant was a sweetheart and her voice was lovely 😊

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Hello! - Haunting Regrets

Warning - Spoilers May Appear.

Thor seems to be the only one excited about this.  

Plan is working!  Meanwhile, look at everyone else’s faces.  Hetty’s in the window, clearly worried about Sam, and everyone else looks disappointed and upset.  

I love how Sass points out how terrible it is and both Trevor and Flower are sitting rather close together and upset.  It's clear that they definitely feel bad about the situation.

OKAY OKAY! Isaac doesn’t care - he’s too upset about Hamilton.  I like the way that he’s sitting - it’s the same way that Trevor sits in TB when he’s sulking and upset.

On the other hand, Isaac shouldn't you care A LITTLE about Sam?

Also, notice that Trevor and Flower are also leaning back in a somewhat sulking manner.  Isaac sulking is surprisingly adorable.  We should see this more often.  

Side note - anyone wonder if he sulks when Nigel comes and goes during their “keeping the peace talks” over the years? I'm willing to bet that he does.

I love this - Alberta calls Isaac ‘Soldier Boy’ - which makes me wonder how close they actually are.   (We see hints of a rivalry and a deep friendship in later episodes of season 2, so very curious). Meanwhile Trevor’s got no issues talking about how he used his power for Isaac.  This is a subtle flex.  He wants the praise.

I wonder if the reason that Trevor mentions this BECAUSE he’s the one that COULDN’T get his power to work during the ‘Haunting’ and so he’s like ‘SEE I’m not as useless as you all think.’ (Even though I am certain that NONE of the ghosts would give him trouble about that - it's just an insecurity thing).

I like that he’s picked up on Jay’s name and seems okay and not as tired as the other ghosts are when they use their power. He's pretty strong.

I like how Isaac doesn’t downplay Hamilton’s accomplishments, even though he could have.  Instead, he admits that he’s impressed almost.  

(Mind you - I wonder if Trevor would’ve just agreed or disagreed knowing how terrible Isaac’s feeling?) I’m sure that he would’ve let Isaac tell the lie (since he lies about his pants - which is stupid, let’s face it).  Just because he knows that Isaac may need that to feel better.

Trevor’s just like “yeah, you know where this is going.”   Isaac Higgintoot is 15 letters AND Trevor would've had to delete Hamilton's name. So that's ALOT of WORK.

Sass and Alberta look like they know that it wasn’t much (they’re so side-eying Trevor here) and even Flower’s like ‘aw’.  Visually, I really like that image of Trevor and Flower on the couch.  They’re kind of cute together.  

But I also like the four of them on the couch together because they just fit well.

OMG!  Trevor is like panting and breathing heavily.  Meanwhile, Isaac could care less since he’s like ‘I’m a footnote’.  Interesting thing here is that Isaac apparently thought he did enough to be in history books?  Despite the fact that he wasn’t really around in certain situations - like the ones listed in the history books?  

Is it possible that he'd been lying to himself all this time?

Side note - he thanked Trevor, right?  Because somehow, I imagine that he doesn’t because he’s disappointed in the results, in which case, poor Trev.  He literally worked for hours to type that up and look for him and he’s panting as if he’s run a race and Isaac’s just like “this is it???”

I mean, I still feel bad for him, especially here.  He’s like “I’m rarely mentioned - only one FOOTNOTE”... on the plus side, I LOVE ‘I’m literally a footnote in history’ is a hilarious line.  I also like that he’s just laying back totally not himself.  It shows how deeply affected he is by it.  I wonder if it’s making him flash back to getting into the ‘Free Masons’ and being excluded or if he puffed up his importance after his death and bought into his own hype.  

Maybe after he died and he had to stay with Thor/Sass who probably gave him a hard time about his death and seeing Nigel (who he killed), made him hype himself up to feel better?  I mean, he is really into being considered their leader.  He wants and expects the respect.

LMAO - Pete tries to make him feel better and Trevor’s making a joke that his school was a not as good school.

I feel like part of the reason he does this is 

A) because it’s too sad and serious (which we know that he doesn’t like Ala ‘this {talking about my death with my parents} is so depressing - talk about something fun’.  

B) because Isaac might not of thanked him for his efforts.

and / or C) because he’s feeling bad about his idea driving Sam crazy and wants it to be funny. He doesn't want to think about his guilt.

Trevor very much likes avoid sadness - he’s the fun-loving frat boy and wants everyone to be happy and have fun, so I could see his ‘jokes’ as an attempt to deal with that.

OMG THOSE SIDE EYES.  Flower and Sass are just like “the fuck you doing boy”.  Flower may also be regretting sitting so close to Trevor right now.  

I wonder if aside from Maybe Pete, any of them know what a “safety school” is?  Does Trevor making this joke make any sense to them?  Also, it’s telling of Trevor’s intelligence that he thinks Dartmouth is a safety school.  

According to Google (because Google is right about everything) - Dartmouth in an Ivy League school started in 1769, with their admission requirements basically being a Straight A average and top twenty-five placement in their graduating class.  They require recommendations and high test scores and 6% admission rate.  

IDK what it was like in 1987 when Trevor would’ve graduated HS and gone to college, but I can’t imagine it was some terrible choice.  So, this says ALOT about Trevor’s intelligence (which often gets ignored because his dumbass decision when he died).  

But again, would ANY of the ghosts even know what a ‘safety school’ is?

It’s so interesting that Isaac has never mentioned musicals or that the three on the couch seemed ‘surprised’ that he’s really into the musical thing.

Again with these three - Isaac acts like it should be such a surprise, but Sass is just like “huh, military type = Isaac, yeah no”.

Flower is nodding along eagerly - IDK if she’s confused at this point or mocking him a bit.  

Trevor’s just like “Yeah, Bro.  Totally.” He's the type to tell people what they want to hear.

And Isaac has no idea. It’s so funny.  I wonder what Alberta was doing here - she, Thor and Hetty are in the room, but aren’t seen at this point.

I love this move by Isaac - it’s AWESOME.  IDK what it is but there’s just something about it that I like.

And lastly, we have Pete.  Not at all surprised either and not knowing what to do.

ANYWAY, the most of the ghosts are feeling bad.  While some are rather focused on themselves, but no worries guys - your new best friend will be back soon!

Thanks for reading!

Feel free to discuss.

[ramonahblog]

Review Ramble! 

Season two! Woo!

Spoilers for CBS Ghosts season two, episode one.

So it starts off recapping season one. Frankly I can’t be bothered to recap so you all are going to have to figure it out or just watch the show. 

Jay is hoping his bump on the head means he can also see ghosts. 

Well damn it. It was a cruel tease. Jay is hugging some random Living. Also he called everyone by name except Trevor who is stuck with No Pants lol. 

Random Living is a delivery guy. 

“Damn it,” - Jay. Appropriate, very appropriate. Poor guy just wants to see and interact with the ghosts! You know what? No one was using their powers so I’m holding on to my theory that Jay can see the ghosts but only when they use their power. 

Cue opening credits - WHY IS THERE A SWORD/KNIFE/DAGGER ON THE DESK NOW? WHICH GHOST DOES THAT REPRESENT? 

We’re not counting the guests from season one finale because they both left the B&B and left a scathing one-star review on yelp. Do people still use yelp? Did people actually use yelp? 

Nigel is at the manor, watching some show with Isaac, Hetty, Thor & Sas. He’s rather uncomfortable. 

Sas is the one encouraging direct communication. Guess the incoming B&B guests are intriguing enough. 

So the doorbell rings. 

Pete finds the guests suspicious and is going all detective on their asses. 

Meanwhile in the Shed, Isaac is attempting to persuade Nigel to come up to the manor.  Apparently there is Ant Drama in the shed. 

The British soldier that is Nigel’s ex (I’m not even going to try and remember his name, he’s Ex-Boy from now on) is still in the shed. Isaac is uncomfortable. 

Also cut to both Ex-Boy and the other one (Music Boy?) watching Nisaac. Oh, good for Isaac, he went direct and asked. 

Yeah, it’s two seasons in and I’m still horrible with names. 

It’s about Thor. Poor Thor. Although I’d probably be just as uncomfortable with Thor as Nigel IRL but I’m watching tv so who cares. 

Isaac mentions he will ask Thor to tone it down which isn’t going to end well, I can tell. 

Ooh, Ex-Boy is smarting at this scene. Considering the Drama he caused in the season one finale, is he going to cause more Drama? 

“And see what they’re doing,” - Trevor

“They’re like sixty,” - Sas 

Don’t age-and-kink-shame Sas. 

Alberta brings up the possibility of spying on the guests to ensure a good review and not for the ghosts' entertainment (but probably mostly for the ghosts’ entertainment). Jay is against this idea.  Sam pretends to agree but then goes to Alberta’s plan. 

Oh return of the Basement Ghost that pretended to be Pete’s GF that one time. She’s come up to say Thor is in the basement and ruining the mood. 

Lol “British Boy Toy” from Basement-Ghost. Excellent. Can she stay upstairs? 

Ooh, Sas is demanding Isaac to apologize for Does Oskar-the-Squirrel have BFF competition? 

Isaac is refusing because the thing with Nigel is new.

Well, Hetty at least thanked Basement Ghost. Progress for Hetty!

Meanwhile with Spying, Jay ended up putting it together. 

So the show the other ghosts are watching brings up loyalty to friends. Sas and Hetty are pretty much passive-aggressively guilt-tripping Isaac. 

You know what, the conflict wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. 

Omg Thor likes watching ants as well. These boys are bonding. YAY BONDING!

And I forgot about the Complaining Guests. Oops. 

“Tom and Debbie suck,” - Jay who said it so passionately. Also Alberta agrees and we all know Alberta is always right. 

Oh Trevor has rushed in to say they don’t like Sam’s perfume (and he doesn’t agree with them). Backstory for perfume: Sam’s mum gave it to her before she passed and there’s only a little amount left so Sam uses it sparingly. 

Jay was already upset at the constant negativity to Sam but now he’s mad. 

Jay is marching out. What is he going to do? 

“And her voice is mellifluous,” - Jay. Did he finish a crossword puzzle again?

The guests have got to be wondering how Jay and Sam know about their complaints. 

Oooooooooh, it turns out the guests thought the yelp reviews were anonymous. Omg the other review that Jay-and-Sam read was the wife’s sister’s place. Omg. 

Okay, the guests left five-star reviews and claimed that their yelp account was hacked. Jay asks if this will be the last time Sam uses the ghosts behind his back - so is that going to be an oncoming plot thread? Who knows? 

Now excuse me, I’m off to read that fic of Nigel and Thor watching ants.

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Nickelodeon era of shows, who is your favorite character from each of the late 90s/early 2000s Nicktoons shows you've seen like: The Angry Beavers, CatDog, The Wild Thornberrys, SpongeBob SquarePants (aka their big cash cow), Rocket Power, As Told By Ginger, Invader Zim, Action League Now, and The Fairly OddParents?

The Angry Beavers: Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh do do do do do doot do doot doot... theme songs were catchy back in the day. Anyways, Dagget. I mean Richard Steven Horvitz geninely wins, but it's one of his better and more underated roles. As for the show itself it holds up fairly well, has a lot of creativity to it and is thus a lot of fun.

CatDog: Lola who was sadly underused, wtih cat a close second because well. .jim cummings. Cummings on. The series itself... is not great. Part of why those two win is while Cat has his jerkass moments, no question... they tend to be the least odious in a cast mostly filled with assholes. CatDog is a sadist show where Cat get spunished when he does wrong and punished more when he dosen't. It has it's moments and I do liike the design of our lead and Dog in his moments where he's less of a blight on Cat's life (ANd I say this as someone who loves cats AND doggos a lot and will coo over just about any one of them I come across). Great designwork, great voice cast (including a smattering of good billy west roles), but not a lot else to actually help it be.. good.

The Wild Thornberrys: Darwin. While his general role is to go "Most undorthadox" he does it well and is fun to watch.L Nigel of course also slaps, being you know, Tim Curry. But I have to go with my heart> This series.. I dont' remember well. It wasn't bad or anything, I just havne't revisted it like the two above, so most of my memories are hazy. I remember finding the movie mid minus the big ole twist with Debbie, I missed when movies for tv shows really mixed up the status quo, not great not helped by Nigels asshole mom being inserted into the film just to make the plot happen. The show itself I remember liking and I like having something this diffrent on nick at the time. Spongebob: Whose my boy is a hard one here as in their golden age most of the cast is pretty damn special.. but id' have to say good old Mr. Krabs. Beebeeboopboopboopboop. Seriously though, as both an adult and a kid a lot of my faviorties were Mr. Krabs episodes, from Krusty Krab Training Video, to my faviorite as a kid (and certainly top 10 today) Krabby Land to the panty raid one. Yes that was a faviorite as a kid. Odds are if the episode is Krusty krab focused, it'd be a good time with a few notable exceptions. He was truly the stan pines of his day, being the morally questionable adult in the room who really, shoudln't be THE adult in the room.. or in the room as he's probably doing something sketchy in there. The show itself is a classic: it's lasted simpsons length for a reason, and whle it certainly has his dark age, the show did seem like it rebounded. Havne't checked it out in a while but it seems to have gotten into an era of still being watchable to good after a brief rennisance. At it's height, true poetry.

Rocket Power: Sam. As a kid it's because he reminded me of the awkward nerd who didn't quite fit in.. as an adult.. same. Where you have friends and you gel with them a bit but don't get them all the way. If anything I relate more now as the passage of time hits me like a truck and I slip further and further away from other people. Anyways Rocket Power is a show I have fond childhood memories of but cannot stomach as an adult. I do like the extreme sports focus as while cheesy as hell, the show put in genuine effort to get the sports right and throw in things like Luge among the staples like surfing, skating and snowboarding. It's also hard to hate a show with such a heavy hockey focus.. I think this show is where I first got an apprecation for the sport, then shorsey just blew it the hell up as a kid. Just realized I have not finished season 3.

So it's not ALL bad.. but both Otto and Twister can be insufferable, Otto plotting self centered schemes and both bullying sam. But the unique setting of a beach side town (for the time anyway, it's more common nowadays and thank god for that), great adult cast (With Ray being a responsible dad who is only a killjoy because his son is a jackass and a half and deserves to be struck down by parental authority), and Tito. Tito is the best.. well Sam's the best then tito. Actually they both can share the prize.

As Told by Ginger: Carl. He was my faviorite part as a kid and while I need to revisit the series honestly.. he still holds up as the best, as does hoodsy. Their a package deal. The series itself was great, one I want to revisit because it seems to really do teen drama right, has a fairly likeable cast, including a nicely complicated alpha bitch in Courntey who can look down on people and be a jerk.. but isn't agressively mean. The problems are down to earth and not super cut and dry on Ginger's side, while usually some weird kid nonsense on Carl's. It creates a really nice ballance too: the Carl Plots give some levity when the ginger stuff needs it, allowing the ginger stories to be more grounded. Carl isn't without his sadder moments, no question, but he gets to be weird and awesome while ginger rams head first into the awkwardness of puberty. Really the diffrence between being a child and a tween or teen right there.

Invader Zim: Zim himself has honestly grown on me with years. it's some of RSH' best work and he's such a loveable lunatic. As for the show I tried not to watch it as a kid. I liked room with a moose.. but wasn't a big fan of the overly sadistic tone (you may notice a pattern), how Dib always lost despite being likeable to younger me, and how the world just plains ucked. As an adult while I am VERY glad the revivial movie, which got me into the series, toned some of this down as some things like Gaz and Membrane's treatment of Dib was overdone, on seeing the ocasinal episode as an adult.. I'm reminded of how GOOD it is. The bleakness is easier to process when you get it's this over the top dumpster fire of a world. It dosen't ALWAYS work but ti makes it easier to actually root for Zim. That and poor boys parents/evil overlords clearly just hoped he'd die and they'd never hear from him again. Dib is more layered, being sympathetic yes (again thanks movie fo rpulling back on the sheer amount of shit piled on these boys) but also an egotist. He works best when Zim's either not super evil or Dib's own ego and need to be proven right over doing the right thing bites him in the ass. Or it's just so over the top you don't care. A solid show I wish i'd watched more but can totally understand why I didn't.

Action League Now: I.. I did this one. It's the Chief. The series is literally just the shorts from KaBlam. Which if you didn't know is totally fair and it is nice the show has it's own program if you just want to watch those shorts. Wish Life with Loopy got the same treatment.

The Fairly Odd Parents: Cosmo. I didn't think the answer would be this easy but in his heyday he was hilarous, charming and honestly in a new wish (where he's dialed back to the first few seasons) he is. Cleavlantis anybody? Fairly Odd Parents is great. It has a great premise, cast and bitching theme song and uses it really well. It went on far longer than it should've (The early poof revivial was alright but I hear it just got worse and worse), has a few age spots here and there and the characters outside of the main trio are pretty simple (and they later get boiled down to their core sterotypes), but it's got enough charm to still be watchable despite it's creator being a pile of anus. Worth a rewatch i'd say.

[toyahinterviews]

TOYAH ON ANTHEM 2022

From the DVD of the Anthem Reissue 2022 After the release of "The Blue Meaning" in 1980, Pete Bush, Charlie Francis and Steve Bray left the band … TOYAH: When "The Blue Meaning" band line-up broke up it was absolutely devastating, but something was happening that in many ways was inevitable and I was becoming the main focus of the band. So at the time "The Blue Meaning" band broke up I was starring in a play at the Royal Court Theatre called “Sugar And Spice” and I had a documentary crew from ITV following me everywhere This is way before reality TV and suddenly we're surrounded by a camera crew. And it just puts so much pressure on the other musicians and I think it gave them a loss of identity and they decided to just move on to other pastures Joel (Bogen) and I have been together for a long time as a creative team, and it just would have been crazy for us not to have continued. There was a lot of goodwill in the industry and obviously success was a millimetre away from both of us. I carried on doing the play at the Royal Court, I felt utterly lost. I had absolutely no idea how to cope and what to do but Safari contacted a producer called Nick Tauber

They contacted Keith Hale of Blood Donor and we went into the studio around Christmas - before Christmas and Christmas week. And we did the first demo for “It’s A Mystery, by which time Nick Tauber put a new band together with Joel and that new band was Phil Spalding on bass (below on the rght), Nigel Glockler on drums, Adrian Lee on keyboards, Joel guitar (below on the left), me voice

I didn't get to meet these boys until about February because I was then shooting  Tales Of The Unexpected called “Blue Marigold” for ITV. And I was based in Norwich, and every day of tape would arrive with new songs on and when I say songs, they were just the backing tracks, but they were so complete all I had to do was to write the top line, the top lyric, the top melody and go in the studio and record them. The big problem was the time to do that. I certainly couldn't do it while I was starring in a drama But I got home after “Blue Marigold” finished and every morning for two weeks I got up at six in the morning, wrote the top line to every track, by two in the afternoon I was in the studio recording it, doing the backing vocals, everything by seven in the evening and right over this two week period we completed the album The new line-up and Nick Tauber’s approach was that of super polished commerciality and what I mean by that- when you look back to "The Blue Meaning" line-up with Charlie Francis, Steve Ray on drums - you have this wild, unstoppable unharnessed energy and it's the same with the creative ideas. With “Anthem” the tracks that were coming to me in Norwich were just so beautifully arranged and beautifully played. It was the step-up within commercialism and that was evident immediately 

Was I confident about it? No, because it took a step up in its commerciality but that was a step away from me. I still had to find that Toyah. I was still the Toyah of "Blue Meaning" and very much an avant-garde groundbreaking creative artist in theatre and in music. And suddenly I'm presented with these backing tracks, like the backing tracks for “I Want To Be Free”. No title, nothing. The backing track to “Marionette”. No title, nothing So everything I did I created from my instinct and my emotional reaction to those tracks purely on their musical merit. And the arrangements were so complete. I think it helped me a lot because it was pretty obvious what was a bridge and what was a chorus and sometimes the old Toyah band would have to go into a rehearsal studio and work out what was the bridge and what was the chorus and where the catch was. I was presented all of that in its finished form The only thing where I was working in the studio to hone was “It’s A Mystery” with Keith Hale, which came to me as a 12 minute vocal and a 12 minute instrumental and we needed to turn that into a four and half minute hit single. So that became verse, bridge, chorus, verse, bridge, chorus. I wrote the second verse but we did all this in the studio together. I did the vocal And I must admit doing the demo for “It’s A Mystery” ... I was thinking what am I doing? This is the end. This is absolutely the end. I was completely in conflict within myself as to how to make this new commerciality work. And I did it the way I always do it and that's inverting imagery and bringing in really strange imagery

Around the time of “Anthem” “Dungeons And Dragons” was kind of big and it was an underground thing and it was a cult thing. But it was still a big thing. And this was the beginning of computer programming, where virtually everyone we were working with was disappearing moonlighting to do work through the night on programming computers. This was a world in complete fluidity, flux and change   And I thought if I bring in these images - like “Obsolete” is about flat earth, “I Want To Be Free” is just about the God given right of not having someone tell us who and what we should be when we should only listen up there. “We Are” is about the God given right of us having our own identity and “Marionette” was very much influenced by Thatcher's Britain And “Demolition Men” was very much influenced about how America was starting to homogenise the UK. So I was just playing with all these very filmic images and that's how I coped with the super commercialism that was heading my way from the studio To put “It’s A Mystery” into context, the band Blood Donor were the groundbreaking band that virtually every synth band from the late 70s to the 80s to the 90s, copied. This was a great band, this was Keith Hale's band. And Keith Hale had this song called “It's A Mystery”which Safari were determined I was going to sing, and they instinctively felt it was a hit single

I didn't get it. In the beginning I didn't get it. And when Keith and I worked on the arrangement with Nick Tauber, and we honed it and we presented it as a finished recording to the to the record label I think my words were “this is the end of my career as a singer”   When we started to put it into the touring band, which was late February 1981 I actually apologised to the audience. I remember being on stage in Sheffield, which by the way, was a one and a half hour show that also had a one and a half hour encore. It was breathtaking with the whole band practically naked on stage vomiting into buckets because of the heat and the exhaustion We put “It’s A Mystery” into the set and I said “look, this is my next single, I don't think it's me, let's see what you think.” And we performed it. And it had a really interesting reaction. There was almost a bemused silence at the end and then they just erupted. And after that word spread around the whole of the tour and we were followed by about a caravan of 20 cars - every tour at that time, news spread fast and this became the go to song of the whole tour

The success of “It’s A Mystery” was absolutely extraordinary because I was expecting the bottom line and that was career death. And there's something very ironic that I can only say in hindsight, is that because the song was ultra feminine and because the first appearance on Top Of The Pops, my costume didn't arrive and I had to wear a dress I think it made me utterly palatable to the mass market  Because up until that point I was third gender, I didn't gender dress at all. I was a pretty odd person with strange hair, strange makeup, but there's something about the chain reaction that fell into place the moment we got the single out. It was unstoppable

And there were things going on, like the single was so successful in its sales even before we got Top Of The Pops that the factories ran out of vinyl, and there was an absolute panic on because I think the single went in in the Top 40 and we had to prove to get Top Of The Pops we could get it into the Top 30 We were about to lose that position because there was no vinyl in the factory and everything had sold out and the demand was beyond what we could deliver. I think Safari even hired men in white vans to go around record shops and collect broken vinyl. And they were driving 24 hours a day to get the vinyl into the factory and the product into the shops And they managed to do it because I think we went in at 28 the following week. And even though Top Of The Pops was very unsure about me, they could not refuse me a place on that week’s show And when the phone call came in, I was in my flat in Hendon. I was in the bath looking forward to a day off the next day and the phone call came and they said “you've got Top Of The Pops. You're in the studio for 10.30 in the morning”, and I can remember just sitting in that bath going “oh fuck! Fuck!!!” And I couldn't comprehend being accepted being on something that I'd watched all my life with my family. The one programme it would take for my family to realise I had talent and had a career

And suddenly it was there and it came out of the blue and it came in such a strange way. Boy, the following 24 hours my feet didn't touch the ground. It was like get the costume, get the makeup, get the hair done. We had to rerecord the song in those days before Top Of The Pops. Get to the studio, rerecord the song   When we arrived at Top Of The Pops, I had this thing in those days where I wouldn't eat until after I'd worked so absolutely no food and no water for about 18 hours. I don't know how I did it. I even used to go three days without food. How I did it I do not know but it just made me super active, super kind of animal and alert. So we get to the studio. And it's not easy and wasn't easy eating at a BBC studio back then. You just could never find anywhere. You were permanently lost But we rehearsed on camera I'd say about five times before we did the actual show. I remember on the stage over there was Adam Ant, who was number one at the time I believe, stage over there possibly Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, stage over there the guy (Joe Dolce) that sang "Shaddap Your Face".  I mean ... it was just so surreal and so wonderful. It’s probably the most magical day of the whole of my life to be honest

Once we had the initial success with “It’s A Mystery” nothing was going stop me. It confirmed everything I wanted in life and everything I thought I could do in life. It absolutely confirmed for me that I have a place in a successful music career. Nothing's going to stop me. So no, the pressure wasn't on. But believe me the pressure was on because the lifestyle just turned on a half penny 

I cannot tell you what it was like. It was get up at six in the morning. Go to a studio, record something. Get a prop plane over to Belgium, go to a studio, do a TV show. Get the prop plane back, do Top Of The Pops, get the prop plane to Germany. Do a show, come back, get in the studio, write the next song. It was just what the hell?! But it was the most exciting thing and it's everything I ever wanted. But what I didn't realise is that lifestyle starts to isolate you   So I went from the life when I was mixing with Iggy Pop, I was mixing with Derek Jarman, I was mixing with so many other people because we had some time on our hands. And all we had to do was go in a rehearsal room and write songs. Suddenly there was no time. No time. Journalists needed you, photographers needed, you needed to write new material. It was non-stop for the whole of that 12 month period. Non- stop With “I Want To Be Free” when I first received the backing track for it, it was a very obvious anthemic rock number. And I very much wanted to write something that I identified with my new younger audience. And I knew that was risky because I had a great great audience from “Sheep Farming In Barnet”, “Blue Meaning”, even “Toyah! Toyah! Toyah!” but with this song I wanted to say something that we are a generation that's completely different from every other generation. We're born different. We have a right to be different and we have different values. That's what I was aiming at with this song

I had to write the lyric within two hours. So I was up at about six in the morning, in my office, wrote the lyric, car came, took me to the Marquee studios where Joel and Nick Tauber were waiting for me. And I sat down and I sang them what I've written. Nick instantly loved it because Nick likes direct, quite simple phrases. He doesn't like it when I do things that are complex. And he always says “go away! Take words away, go away, come back - less is more!” Joel ... I could see he needed to really think about it because Joel comes from jazz, and he loves jazz so everything has to have a very deep meaning with Joel. And I think he was concerned about the musicality of it. He was concerned about what his friends might think, and what the critics might think  But he went with it. For some reason I just went straight into the studio and put it down and I put it down chorus first and then did the verses because I felt if I could get them to hear the chorus they knew how anthemic it was going to be. And as soon as I started the chorus, they started to be more positive towards it

In hindsight, this song has grown and grown and grown for a very different reason. When the song came out, yes, it was instantly a hit, it just hit the right buttons. It was the right time. But we started to hear from around the world from prison organisations that this song was being sung every morning by prisoners, even political prisoners were adopting it. But then we started to get messages coming from South Africa that people stuck within apartheid were singing it. People who wanted an end to apartheid. They wanted equality and recognition - they were singing it as well. It was a huge hit in South Africa

Three years ago when I was playing Queen Elizabeth the First in the stage version of Derek Jarman's “Jubilee” with a gender neutral cast - gender fluid, gender neutral - they chose this song to represent them. It was their anthem. They said they knew of this song because it was performed in clubs and in cabaret clubs in the gay community, and it was performed because everyone said it was about being gender neutral. And of course, that's what I was when I started out, I was gender neutral The industry has not been kind to this song. Managers, who are always a bit tricky to deal with, especially other artists’ managers kind of say “oh, it's a novelty song. It means nothing. We don't want our artists following Toyah”. Well, they don't want their artists following Toyah because I’m fucking good at what I do. But also that this song to an audience just absolutely sends them into raptures. It's so big, it's such an event and the whole audience is singing it back. And that alone tells you that the song has huge credibility 

The tours on this particular year, 1981, were breathtakingly successful. There was even talk in 1982 of shifting me up into Wembley Arena but people just got cold feet about it. But the tours were so successful and so much fun I think the band were happy to be part of it. And also, it's pretty obvious that this was music written by a band. This wasn't contrived music written for a kind of contrived artist We had history, Joel and I had history and a very good kind of provenance behind us. So I think the band were very happy. I adored Nigel Glockler’s drumming, he was so wonderful to work with but by the time we did “Thunder In The Mountains” Nigel had decided to go and join Saxon. That was about August 1981. And that broke my heart. Utterly broke my heart because he was such an ally for me When the boys were being ... I'm not going to use the word bullying because I think that's unfair, but when the boys were kind of being boys and boys group, Nigel was there to support me and put his arm around me and to make me feel valued and that I was being listened to. There were a few occasions where because I was always on the promotional trail, I missed out on making friends and having friendship bonds and eating with the boys and travelling with the boys that separated me from them  

The sheer demand of 14 interviews a day, having to travel sometimes to another country in the morning and then come back for a show meant I was not with these people to bond with them as friends     So I think all that made it harder and I think part of that helped Nigel Glockler make up his mind to go and join Saxon. And then, I think by January 1982, Adrian Lee decided he was going to have a solo career, where he eventually ended up with Mike and The Mechanics, but he realised that his potential was so huge on “Anthem” that he wanted a solo career

So it was a tough year. It was a tough year for everyone for many different reasons, but a glorious year. But when you asked me what was it like for the band to experience my ascending light ... I think they realised that what ever happened that year the tension was going to be on me, but they were supportive and they did their jobs brilliantly. But I think by the end of the year it was pretty inevitable that Joel and I had to rethink what we were going to do next I remember the making of “Anthem” being as smooth as a calm millpond. It was an absolute joy. Going into the studio was the one time I could just go (lets out a big sigh) because all the other time there were fans, we were being followed. There was press, there was stalkers outside where we lived. It was just kind of frazzling. I remember getting to the studio having completed my lyrics just thinking “Oh, this is the fun bit.” I remember it just being an absolute joy. Real joy. I loved every minute There wasn't one moment of writer's block. There wasn't one moment when we didn't know what to come up with. I was just brimming with ideas. Joel was as well. We loved putting the vocals down and the backing vocals down. Nick Tauber was an absolute master at producing a voice and he knew how to put effects on the voice and give the voice a presence that you don't have naturally. No singer has it naturally. So everything I was giving to him he was spinning into gold, and it just gave me so much confidence 

In comparison, when I was doing “The Changeling a year later with Steve Lillywhite I was working to a dry sound, which I found really really hard because a dry sound is unforgiving. But with Nick, in my cans I got the produced sound as it would sound on the record and the effect it had on  me was just building my confidence daily I absolutely loved working at the Marquee studios. We did a lot of “Sheep Farming In Barnet” at the Marquee studios, but upstairs in a little vocal booth. And the same with “Tiger! Tiger!” on “Blue Meaning”, we did it upstairs in a little vocal booth. Here we were in the master studio, the biggest studio in London with the greatest desk in the greatest sound room. It was a joy to be there and it was quite hidden. It wasn't until we did “Love Is The Law” two years later that the fans found us there I found every moment in that studio utterly magical. It was contained, we were a family, we were a unit, a tight friendly unit in that studio. And Nick Tauber was just absolutely stunning at keeping our energy up, keeping us laughing and coming up with brilliant production techniques. On the song “I Am” we wanted a waterfall. So we ended up putting the engineer in the toilet and just flushing the toilet all night long to get that waterfall and then reversing the tape 

We were able to do these wonderful things and back then this was before digital recording came in. So we were cutting the tape with razor blades, taking bars out, stitching it together, reversing the tape to reverse the sound. We were reversing cymbals. It was utterly wonderful. Probably the most wonderful experience of my entire recording life Psychologically being asked to write a B-side you're not being told to write a hit single, which meant we could go back to our origins and our origins were being incredibly in the moment with writing. So “Walkie Talkie”,  “Alien” and “Sphinx”, all those songs - which became huge hits with the fans - they just happened like that (snaps her fingers) because we weren't worrying about the sequence of the song, we weren't worrying that it had to have radio play. And I believe that all of these were done for promotion. Safari were really brilliant at promotion at that particular time. And you had so many music magazines that wanted exclusives So flexi discs – when you actually got the honour of doing a flexi disc, because every artist wanted to do one, we just came up with songs like that. Were we super productive that year? We had to be, but I think we were super happy, super confident and very, very relieved of our success, which meant that we could just flourish. We were in the best place we could be and we were flourishing

I've always been interested in world cultures. So for me in this present day I didn't believe I was stealing or borrowing. I was just hugely respectful and hugely influenced by these cultures that were a lot more interesting than my education. So to discover the kind of philosophies of Egypt, the past life philosophies, the future life philosophies, the passing into the world of the dead, the "Book Of The Dead", all of their hieroglyphics and the fact that the three pyramids match up with three exact spots on Mars. You  just think there is more to this planet. There's more to our little tiny universe than we've been told. And I was interested in that   And again, I love "Lord Of The Rings". I love fairies versus elves versus goblins. I loved all of that. So the imagery on the front cover was the war, the fairy war. Now fairies in folklore are actually utterly ferocious, and they're very, very predatory and they're very possessive of their land. So I wanted a painting that was both like a Marge Piercy interpretation of “Woman On The Edge Of Time” and Marge Piercy, a great American feminist writer, whose characters always travelled through insanity into a crystal clear utopia

And what I wanted with that cover was the utopian fairy holding the head of masculinity. I slightly regret it today because the way the wars have gone today and the way that religious sects have gone today. I think it's a very unfortunate image, but it's all come from the world of fantasy - not from a world of politics. "Dungeons And Dragons", "Lord Of The Rings", "The Hobbit", all of those. And there was a magnificent book written called “The Fairies”, which is a horror book, which I just absolutely adore and it's about these aggressive fairies that just fight every battle to keep their land 

My relationship with Melissa Caplan was all about her originality, and I could go to Melissa with books. I’ve still got the books all around this house of tribal art and I'd say “Melissa, I just adore this tribal art. Can we fit it into a costume?” The colour schemes, the patterns, the body patterns. We reinterpreted it, but we were definitely inspired by Masai, Kabuki theatre, Japan. We were inspired by the hieroglyphics of Egypt. So it was all - for me - just gloriously beautiful, creative experience, and I happened to love these world cultures Melissa was very understanding of that and very exclusive about that. She realised that was my pocket. But as the year moved on with “I Want To Be Free” I wanted to move on with different designers, and I wanted to experiment with movements and I think the designer for the video of “I Want To Be Free” and the Anthem Tour in May 1981 was Helen Scott, who worked mainly in white cotton. So we all were on stage in white cotton, with these kind of tassels that moved around us. And then for “Thunder In The Mountains” I wanted something that's probably the most feminine I'd ever been until that point, which were very tribal and very Boadicea. So I had this wonderful suede dress made which was just skin tight

We were on the road with the Anthem Tour when Adrian Lee gave me a tape of just a piece of music, and I loved it. It was full of bravado, it was full of joy, it lifted my heart listening to it and I said “I really want to put a lyric to this”. So I submitted “Thunder In The Mountains”. It had to be written very quickly purely because of the constraints on us with all the touring and being in Europe and going into Europe and doing so many shows and a few festivals. So on the day that Princess Diana was marrying Prince Charles, I think that was the last day in July 1981, I was in my apartment alone I had to write the lyric and get to the studio and record it that afternoon. I had to finish and complete the lyric because I already had the line “tunder in the mountains”, but I had to create the top line and the melody. And I had two stalkers outside that had the phone number and they were just ringing the doorbell. I was completely alone not knowing how to deal with this and just trying to get it finished   And knowing that when my car came, they were going to be there waiting for me and I was alone. It was very, very intriguing and very stressful. But once I got into the studio environment back in the Marquee studio with Nick Tauber you could let all that go. And Nick created an atmosphere that made work possible

And I think in many ways with “Anthem”, the complete album, I think if we could have done that then we should have had four singles off the album. But you couldn't do that back then because part of the political beliefs of punk was you just didn't exploit the audience. But there were many songs on that album that would have been great singles

“We Are” would have been amazing single and if we had “Voodoo Doll” ready or even “Thunder In The Mountains” ready, that would have been a great single as well - which would have meant “I Want To Be Free”, “It's A Mystery”, “Thunder In The Mountains”, “Voodoo Doll” were all potential singles. But again, this was all part of the fact that we had to produce so much music in that year to satisfy every magazine, every radio station, as well as the fans “Thunder In The Mountains” is the second video I made with the team of   Godley & Creme of 10cc. Absolutely renowned legendary video directors. At our first creative meeting for “Thunder In The Mountains”. I said I wanted to be able to ride a Sherman tank down Oxford Street and down The Mall they said no, only the Queen has permission to do that. And I said I really want to kind of emulate Boadicea and everything to do with the Iceni and the tribes and what the Iceni went through and how they conquered the Romans and the invasion of Rome and all of that And I left it with Godley & Creme and I've turned up at this airfield for the shoot with my makeup artist Prue Walters and with the band and there was this sawn in half car and a pony and I thought well ... that's a bit of a kind of anticlimax and then I realised I was going to have to get in it and use it and ride it like Boadicea   

On the windscreen, which was acting as my shield against falling forward - they taken off the centre mirror, but they hadn't taken off what held the centre mirror so when I'm kind of in motion with the pony on the chariot, this spike that held the mirror is actually digging into my stomach. And I was on that chariot for three hours and by the next day my stomach was just black with bruising I adored making the video. It was demanding. It was great fun, Godly & Creme are a scream to work with. They were great storytellers. They always had a storyboard that they wanted you to follow. They understood the imagery. They understood the importance of the imagery to me, and that I wanted this other world, this kind of Mad Max world and that it just had to be a strong woman and a dystopian landscape When I was 12 I went to see Marc Bolan and T Rex at the Birmingham Odeon and the noise before he came on stage was incomprehensible. Why are these people making so much noise and how are they making it? And it was the same scene with Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie at the Coventry Theatre in ‘73. The noise was just deafening 

Suddenly in May 1981 I was arriving at theatres and the noise was deafening. And it was wonderfully exciting and if I’d had an iPhone at that time, I would have been instagramming it endlessly. All you could hear was “Toyah! Toyah!” Toyah!” I mean for hours. I remember at the Ipswich Gaumont, which was always a remarkable concert - the noise backstage and you just couldn't speak because all you could hear was “Toyah!” and it never ever silenced. It never dropped. It was just the roar of the crowd And it was very interesting going from the tour in the universities in February and March, where they were wild and they were expressive, but they weren't screaming my name name all the time and suddenly we were moving into these big theatre venues and all you could hear was screaming It was breathtaking. They only fell quiet for the intro of “Danced” which was on “Sheep Farming In Barnet” or for “Jungles Of Jupiter”. That's the only time that we could actually hear what we were doing. And then of course there was the introduction of security. I mean frontline security - security in the wings, security outside the dressing room 

I remember at Oxford Playhouse people started falling from the roof and they're all men and what they'd done they'd all got up onto the roof, removed the tiles off the roof, and were trying to come down the theatre curtains and they were just dropping like flies. So we were performing with ambulance people on stage. And eventually we had to stop the show and just go off and let these people be attended to. And then as soon as we started it, it just all started again. We just couldn't stop it. So we had quite a few experiences on that tour where there was something going on that was beyond the music. It was hysteria When we made the album we weren't making it with our radar just on success. We were making music that we believed in and a musical journey we wanted to take and within the music there was so much colour, brightness, shade, potential. So when we were making the album I think our main interest was fulfilling the potential of everyone's contribution. Then suddenly this phenomenal success started and it was spreading around the world 

And at that point you realise that an album has a life of its own. You're  actually no longer part of it. Because you can't judge why it's successful. You can't judge why a completely different culture embraces it. You can't judge why someone in Australia goes out of their way to find their copy. It has a different meaning. And at that point in time you realise something you've written means something unique to the person who's heard it, who’s gone out of their way to buy it, and you just let that be I don't listen back to my albums that often but obviously today 42 years on I'm still playing the songs and it's always so striking. The production values, the invention, the lengths we went to to get those sounds. I mean we're throwing avocados at glass. We were tearing cymbals, smashing them with hammers. We were breaking things. And even for something like “Elocution Lesson”, which is really out there and to use the word bitch in a commercial album back then coming from a woman was almost obscene

When we did the album we knew we had something commercial and well honed, but I still needed a lot of the original Toyah in there which is experimentation. And you get that with “Pop Star”, which for me is like a musical version of a Ray Bradbury book. And it's exactly how I wanted it and when I explained it to Nick Tauber, I think Adrian Lee came up with the main part of the song, the music, and I said to Nick Tauber  “I want this to be about alienation. I want this to be about technology, commanding the humans. I want it to be about fame and brittleness and how fame puts you in a bubble”. He just got it. With “Elocution Lesson” - that's a completely autobiographical song. It's a song about the fact that I needed speech therapy from the age of six, had it til I was 11

And then when I signed with the National Theatre at the age of 18, they continued my speech therapy because I had very bad speech impediment. So “Elocution Lesson” was about the humiliation I felt always having to learn how to speak because I didn't understand that I couldn't speak due to a defect in the roof of my mouth. I was probably talking to someone (makes an incomprehensible noise) - it's coming out like that I didn't know that I wasn't forming my words and suddenly I find myself in a situation where I'm being told I have to learn how to speak and it was shocking to me. Shocking that I wasn't actually sounding and communicating the way my brain was telling me I was. And that was quite a big thing for me and the opportunity to put the song “Elocution Lesson” on this album, for me was a massive, massive privilege “Anthem” is an incredibly important album. It's just brilliantly produced, brilliantly written, brilliantly performed. It has such originality within it but it still stands alone. When you look at “Sheep Farming In Barnet” you've got this vibrant, beautiful energy of musicians in the studio for the first time ever in their careers. When you listen to “Blue Meaning” you've got a band who know they're onto something, who have audiences ramming into venues, and it's a dark angry album that I think sums up the end of our teenage lives

And then with “Anthem” you've got this album that is embracing new technology, new synthesiser sounds, new potential. And you've got experienced musicians for the first time - I mean musicians that have been doing sessions for quite a few years - suddenly in the studio with you and you realise you can do anything with them. And that raises you up a notch But as an album I think “Anthem” is a stand-alone in my career because it's a storytelling album. And it's also a production telling album. By the time we moved on to “The Changeling” we were already moving into quite a gothic dark area, and it's a completely different sound “Anthem” then for me just resonates the pathways created by OMD, Human League, Frank Tovey (of Fad Gadget). It just resonates the end of the 70s into the new era. And it's pre dance  

[clairegregoryau]

On Pinocchio and other tales in OFMD, or: a story about storytelling, truth and lies, and reinvention.

Hi all! . I'm a writer and historian, deep diving into deep themes and story structure in #OFMD. Today I'm talking about the use of Pinocchio, both as a story in its own right, and as a storytelling device. No, it's not a thesis. Yes, it is a bit of an essay 😅

First up, I think it's interesting to note that David Jenkins' Twitter and Instagram bio references Pinocchio- 'A wooden doll who became a real boy who grew into a man who created and showruns OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH.' It's clearly a significant reference for him. Here's my breakdown of the deeper meaning within the show:

1. I went back through the show looking for links and references, and I thought it was pretty interesting that the only place Pinocchio is referenced is in the first episode. This leads me to three conclusions- one, that it's most important as a narrative circle contained within the first episode; two, that Stede's story arc overall is relevant without having to refer back to it directly; and three, that the telling of the story itself is actually a key part of why it's used.

3. It's an instantly familiar story that was not, incidentally, written until over a century and a half after the events of OFMD took place (but that's just one bit of the excellent way this show plays fast and loose with history, setting it aside when an anachronistic reference makes the story stronger). Most in the audience will instantly think of the Disney film, but it began with a book. And both the book and the film are, IMO, relevant to the deeper theme in different ways.

4. First up- the book. Written by Carlo Collodi in 1883, the tone of the original was a lot darker than the film. It was a story about a wooden puppet (created and controlled by others, relevant!) who dreams of becoming a real, independent boy. He misbehaves and lies, and he's described as a wretched boy, a disgrace, a rogue, and I'm sure a fair few other things that people broadly use to describe Stede at various times. Here's the stuff that really pinged when I started thinking about it:

*The book ends- dun dun dun- with Pinocchio being hanged, then reborn as a real boy. I did not know this until I went looking, and it instantly made me realise that this was the arc of the first three episodes of OFMD. Stede, the wretch, the rogue, the liar, ends up hanged by the Spanish, before he's cut down and reborn into a real boy the moment he meets Blackbeard.

We see Stede tell a dangerous truth twice in OFMD, both times to a Badminton, perfectly mirrored in the first and ninth episodes. Once when Nigel tells him that there's a rumour going around that he's a pirate, and Stede confirms that's true (to Nigel's great amusement- and ultimate doom). And the second time is when Chauncey tells him that Ed has confessed to Nigel's murder, and Stede tells him that's not true. The first time, Stede's pushing back against a poor impression of him. But the second time is completely unselfish- he's confessing to the truth for Ed, not for himself.

6. Let me swing back around to sum up the Pinocchio arcs in the first episode and the first three episodes:

a) In the first episode, Stede's always been a puppet, under the control of others. He's gone to the sea, and then he has to be brave and truthful, and voila. Stupid puppet pulled it off, as Wee John says at the end of the episode.

b) He hasn't been entirely unselfish about it, though. He's left his wife and kids 'on a whim' (echoing Mary's later words, unfair as they may be) to gain what he wants. And so that arc continues a _little_ bit longer, in a different way, while various people accuse him of being terrible, until he is hanged and reborn. You could probably argue that the same arc repeats a third time, from the beginning all the way to the end, when he finally manages to be unselfish, brave and absolutely truthful about who he is and what he wants.

7. Swinging back across to the idea that Pinocchio itself is maybe not as important as the telling of the Pinocchio tale- there's a classic writing technique called the Rule of Three. If something is important, repeat it three times to cement it. And there are three key moments where storytelling takes centre stage. All three take place at night, with the whole crew clustered together on deck.

In episode 1, Stede tells the tale of Pinocchio

In episode 2, Pete tells the tale of Blackbeard

In episode 6, Ed tells the tale of the Kraken

On review this collection of tales feels VITAL to me. In the first instance, Stede's telling his own story. In the second, Pete's introducing the legend, the image, the idea of Blackbeard that everyone knows. It's essentially just as fictional.

In the third instance, Ed's telling his own truth and his own lies all bundled into one. It's only after the fuckery that he admits the real truth is both less scary and more- he is the kraken. He's spun a fictional tale to protect the truth of himself- but then he gives up the truth to Stede, and trusts him. Everything changes from there.

So we've had Stede tell lies and the truth. We've had Pete tell lies, before we see the truth. And we've had Ed tell lies and truths as well. We've seen Stede reinvent himself by the end of the first episode, or so he thinks, and then reinvent himself again at the end. And we've likewise seen Ed reinvent himself with Stede (first thinking he might steal Stede's identity, then realising he can actually have his own true self and Stede). In his own way, Ed's been Blackbeard's puppet all along, if not also Izzy's- and he hasn't managed to cut the strings just yet. A fellow fan observed that this comes around in a perfect way in the ninth episode, when Lucius reads from Stede's journal to prove that he's a real pirate in order to save his life. He's genuinely writing his own story, and his own truth. Before that Frenchie tries to pass the journal off as fan fiction, played for laughs because nobody's been much of a fan. But when Stede's life is at risk and Lucius reads his story, the crew rally around to back him. He might be hopeless, but he's their captain, and they're his crew. And that's the end of the story- for now...

[ivyaugustetc]

the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell

@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.

also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)

neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3

todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!

fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)

cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.

charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.

pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.

meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).

stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3

chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.

ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.

I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

Ψ M is for Maraclea: Chapter Four

M is for Maraclea: Following an accident you had over summer break, you find yourself in limbo after being legally dead for several minutes. Now an outcast at boarding school, you end up finding comfort in a strange boy named Nigel. As winter draws near and tragedy strikes, your only reprieve from madness comes from a mind much like your own.

Warnings: Bullying.

To Note: Nigel Colbie x Fem!Reader, NAMED Reader for Plot Reasons, There Are A Lot of DARK Themes.

Word Count: ~2.8k

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You stack the music sheets, careful not to smudge the notes you’ve penciled in. The rehearsal hall echoes with the last strains of a hurried exit, leaving you, Susan, and Ethel to tidy up. You feel the weight of their glances, curious but not unkind.

Susan tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes darting towards you. “So, Michael still out with that flu?” she asks, trying to sound casual.

You nod, folding the sheet music precisely. “Yes. He’s pretty sick. They’re not sure when he’ll be back.”

Ethel frowns, straightening the chairs. “We can’t keep waiting on him. The play will arrive soon and if he doesn't practice with us the flow won't be right the right of the play.”

You agree silently, placing the stack of music onto the piano. “I shall be here should circumstance call for my fingers.”

Susan steps closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “How are you handling it? I mean...with everything? The girls have been very unkind to you, even after I tell them to stop.”

You glance at her, unsurprising by her concern yet taken aback. It’s been a while since anyone asked how you’re doing. They always just assume. “It’s...the play helps to keep my mind busy.”

Ethel stops what she’s doing and looks at you directly, her expression unreadable. “You’re doing great, Mary. Honestly, better than Michael in some parts.”

You feel nothing at her off words of praise. Compliments are rare these days. “Thank you,” you murmur.

Susan shifts awkwardly before speaking again. “I think it’s good for you too. Keeps you out of your dorm and engaged. I would hate to see you locked up in our room all semester studying.”

You nod at Susan, appreciating her concern even if you don’t entirely agree. The dorm room has become your sanctuary, a place where the whispers and sneers can’t reach you. But you don’t say that. Instead, you offer a small smile, one that feels foreign on your lips.

“I’ll try to be more social,” you say, though it sounds hollow to your own ears. "For you."

Susan’s eyes soften. “That’s all anyone can ask.”

You turn back to the piano, running your fingers over the cool keys. The sensation is soothing, numbing. You start to play a few notes, lost in the familiar comfort of music.

“Hey,” Susan’s voice breaks through your thoughts, “how about we grab a coffee or something? You know, just us.”

You glance at Susan, her hopeful eyes meeting yours. “I can’t, Susan. I’ve got an exam to study for.” You try to sound convincing, though the idea of socializing makes your skin crawl.

Susan’s face falls slightly, but she recovers quickly. “Alright, but you should come next time. Promise?”

“Yes,” you lie smoothly. “You and Ethel go ahead. Enjoy the coffee.”

Susan exchanges a look with Ethel, then shrugs. “If you’re sure.”

“I am,” you insist, forcing another small smile. It feels more of a grimace.

They gather their things and head towards the door. Susan looks back once more, concern etched in her features. “Take care, Mary.”

“You as well,” you reply softly, watching them leave. With the hall empty, you let out a breath you do not know you hold. The silence and solitude is bliss. Blinking, you ensure everything is in its place—chairs straightened, music sheets organized, piano closed. The silence wraps around you like a comforting shroud.

You walk out into the crisp evening air, pulling your coat tighter around you. The path back to the academy winds around the lake, a scenic route that usually calms your mind. Tonight, though, a sense of unease lingers.

Halfway around the lake, voices break through your solitude. You see them before they see you—three girls from your class, notorious for their cruel jokes and harsh whispers. Jane, Victoria, and Charity

“There she is,” Charity sneers as they spot you. She lacks the most charity out of the three of them, “Zombie fish girl.”

You keep walking, eyes fixed on the path ahead. They were hardly worthy of your attention.

Victoria steps in front of you, blocking your way with a cool sneer. “What’s the rush? Got another play to practice for?”

“Or maybe she’s just in a hurry to join the fish in the lake," Jane chimes in, laughter bubbling in her voice. You stop and slowly raise your eyes to meet theirs.

"Please move." They laugh and Charity's smirk deepens.

You fix your gaze on Victoria, your eyes unwavering. “Please move,” you repeat, your voice steady but low.

Jane steps closer, her breath mingling with the cold air. “What if we don’t want to?”

You tighten your grip on your coat, feeling the rough fabric against your fingers. “I don’t particular care for conversation at the moment,” you say, keeping your tone neutral while moving to step to the side. "If you will excuse me…"

Charity laughs, a sharp sound that cuts through the night as she steps in time with yours. “Going so soon? We’re just having a little fun. Lighten up, Forbes.”

Victoria nudges Jane, her eyes gleaming with malicious. “Yes, Mary. Why so serious? You are always such a bore. One might think that you are a robot!”

"A robot zombie fish?" Charity offers with a twist in her lips. "I've never heard of that before. I suppose there is always a first."

The girls press closer, their laughter blending with the rustling leaves. Your pulse quickens, a throb of tension echoing in your ears. You feel the edge of the path under your feet, the ground growing softer as it nears the water. They are ever persistent.

“Why so quiet, Mary?” Jane taunts, her eyes alight with cruel amusement.

You take a step back, your heel sinking into the damp earth. The lake glimmers under the moonlight, an inky expanse that seems to call you. Another step and the cold water laps at your shoes. Such sweet ecstasy.

“Aw, look,” Victoria coos, “she’s scared.” Far from it actually.

Charity grins, her eyes narrowing. “What’s wrong? Don’t like getting wet?”

Your back hits a low branch hanging over the water. There's nowhere else to go. The water seeps into your shoes, sending a shiver up your spine. You gasp as the cold bites into your skin, but beneath that shock is a strange comfort—the numbness you crave.

They see it—the way your breath catches—and their laughter falters for just a moment. You grip the branch behind you, grounding yourself while your mind obsesses over the growing numbness crawling up your ankles.

“Look at her,” Jane scoffs. “She’s pathetic.”

Victoria steps closer, peering into your eyes with mock concern. “Enjoying yourself down there?” Oh very much, very much in deed.

The chill spreads through you, wrapping around your legs like icy tendrils. You draw in a breath, steadying yourself against the wave of numbness that overtakes you. You nearly shudder from the euphoria.

“Numb,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper but firm.

Charity rolls her eyes and tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Let’s go,” she says dismissively. “The fish freak is not worth any more of our time.”

The three girls exchange looks before turning away with bored expressions. They walk off, their laughter fading into the night.

You stand there for a moment longer, feeling the water swirl around your ankles. The cold seeps deeper into you, but it’s a relief—a momentary escape from everything else. You take another deep breath and then slowly step out of the lake, your feet heavy and wet but grounded in a way they haven’t felt in weeks. And it was to only get colder.

You stand there, feeling the cold water seep through your shoes, chilling your skin. The numbness creeps up your legs, a familiar and oddly comforting sensation. You close your eyes for a moment, letting the cold wash over you. It's a welcome distraction from the constant noise in your head, the whispers and taunts that never seem to fade.

You draw in a deep breath, the crisp night air filling your lungs. For these few moments, you are alone with the cold and silence. No sneering faces, no mocking laughter—just you and the lake. The cold is an anchor, grounding you in the present.

After a few more moments, you reluctantly pull yourself away from the water's edge. Your feet feel heavy as you step back onto the path, each movement slow and deliberate. The wet fabric of your shoes squelches with every step, but you don't mind. It's a small price to pay for a brief respite.

You make your way back to the academy, the cold air biting at your cheeks. The path is deserted now, just as you prefer it. You walk slowly, savoring the quiet and solitude. Each step takes you further from the lake but not from the peace it brought.

As you reach the entrance to the dormitory, you pause for a moment, looking up at the building that has become both refuge and prison. You draw in another deep breath before pushing open the door and stepping inside.

The warmth of the dormitory envelops you immediately, contrasting sharply with the chill that clings to your skin. You move through the hallways quickly, avoiding eye contact with anyone you pass. You don't want to explain why you're soaked or why you've been outside alone at this hour.

Finally reaching your room, you slip inside quietly and close the door behind you. The room is dark and quiet, just as you left it. You peel off your wet shoes and socks, feeling the sting of warmth returning to your feet.

You sit on your bed for a moment, letting yourself adjust to being back inside. The numbness begins to fade slowly, replaced by a dull ache that reminds you you're still here, still alive.

You reach for a blanket and wrap it around yourself tightly. The fabric is soft against your skin but does little to chase away the lingering cold. You don't mind; it's a reminder of those precious moments by the lake when everything else fell away.

With a sigh, you lean back against the pillows and close your eyes, allowing yourself a few minutes of rest before returning to reality.

You jolt awake to the sound of tapping on your window. For a moment, disoriented, you sit up, the blanket slipping from your shoulders. The room is dim, shadows dancing on the walls as the moonlight filters in. The tapping persists, insistent and rhythmic. Your eyes dart to Susan, blissfully deep asleep in bed. The tapping continues.

You get up and move toward the window, your heart pounding in your chest. You pull back the curtain to reveal Nigel standing outside, his face illuminated by the soft glow of the moon. His eyes lock onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch.

"Mary," he mouths, his voice barely audible through the glass. "Come with me."

Without thinking, you crack the window open and lean your head out.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"We're going on a train ride," he says simply, his voice low and steady.

You hesitate for a moment, blinking at his statement but then nod. Retreating back into your room, you shut the window and turn to grab a pair of shoes and a coat to cover your nightgown. Snatching your dorm key, you slip from your dorm room and quickly made your way down to the ground floor. When you exited the dorm building Nigel is waiting for you.

The two of you make your way to the train station in silence, the only sound is your footsteps echoing off the pavement. When you reach the platform, Nigel buys two tickets without a word and leads you to an empty compartment. You take a seat and sit in silence as the train begins to move. A sense of calm washes over you.

Oh how calming and peaceful this feels! No chittering girls gossiping about you. The calm peace makes you quiver.

Nigel sits next to you, his gaze steady and unwavering. "Do you always take their bullying in silence," he says finally, breaking the quiet.

Your eyelashes flicker as your mind mulls over his words. He must have seen you cornered by Jane, Victoria, and Charity. You stare out the window, the dark landscape rushing by in a blur. Nigel's question hangs in the air between you two, heavy and unavoidable.

“Yes,” you finally admit, your voice barely above a whisper but devoid of emotion. “I take it in silence. There's no point in fighting back.”

Nigel's eyes narrow slightly, curiosity lingering in his gaze. “Why?”

You sit there, the rhythmic clatter of the train beneath you. You feel Nigel's eyes on you, waiting for an answer. He doesn't push for an answer, just waits. You draw in a breath, steadying yourself.

"It happened over the summer," you begin, your voice barely above a whisper. "I went swimming alone in the lake near our house. I got a cramp...and I couldn't swim back."

Nigel's gaze intensifies, but he stays silent, letting you continue.

"I drowned," you say flatly. "They pulled me out, but by then... I was dead. Legally dead for several minutes."

You pause, watching his reaction. His eyes widen, and he leans closer, hanging on every word.

"They managed to revive me," you say, the memory making your skin crawl. "But something changed. It's like a part of me stayed behind."

Nigel's breath quickens, his fascination evident. "You...you died and came back?" His voice trembles with excitement.

"Yes," you confirm, your eyes meeting his. "That's why they call me zombie fish girl. Because it's true...in a way."

Nigel's face lights up with an intensity that makes your stomach churn. He reaches out and takes your hand, his grip firm and almost possessive. You like it, unlike the touch of others.

"You are...incredible," he murmurs, his eyes searching yours. "A living Maraclea."

You frown at the term, not fully understanding his obsession. What was so special about you? But before you can question it, Nigel moves closer, his face inches from yours.

"Mary," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. "You're a miracle."

The intensity within Nigel's gaze makes your heart flutter. An odd sensation you don't mind. You can feel his breath against your skin, warm and inviting. A change from your crave of cold. He leans in closer, and for a moment, you forget everything—the cold, the bullying, the constant noise in your head. There's only him and the way he looks at you like you're something precious.

His lips brush against yours, tentative at first, as if he's afraid you'll pull away. But you don't. You stay still, letting the warmth of his touch seep into you. Your eyes flutter closed, and the world narrows down to this single point of contact. A warmth you like, a warmth you begin to crave.

Nigel's hand moves to cup your cheek, his fingers gentle but firm. The kiss deepens, and you find yourself responding in a way you never expected. Despite the numbness that usually clings to you like a second skin, there's a spark—something warm and alive that spreads through you like wildfire.

Your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing through your body as you lean into him. His lips are soft but insistent, coaxing a response from you that feels both foreign and thrilling. You part your lips slightly, allowing him to explore further, and a shiver runs down your spine at the intimacy of it.

It's your first kiss—something you've never really thought about before now. But with Nigel, it feels right.

There's no hesitation or fear, just a sense of connection that you've been missing for so long. You lose yourself in the kiss, the sensation overwhelming in its intensity. Your hand finds its way to Nigel's jacket, gripping tightly as if you fear this unsound warmth till slip away. You do. The cold that usually surrounds you melts away under his touch, replaced by a warmth that fills every corner of your being.

Nigel pulls back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. His gaze is soft but intense, filled with an emotion you can't quite name but recognize all the same. He strokes your jaw.

"Mary," he whispers against your lips, his voice low and filled with awe. "You are perfection."

You swallow hard, trying to find words but failing. When was the last time you have been praised as such? You can't find words to speak. Instead, you press your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you savor the lingering taste of his kiss.

For once, the numbness recedes completely, leaving only the warmth of Nigel's touch and the promise of something more.

Date Published: 6/9/24

Last Edit: 6/9/24

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[izzielizzie]

Thoughts on the Bridgerton siblings since your watching the show?

oh sure!! also spoilers

Anthony

Honestly did not like him. I get that he's the Viscount now after his father's sudden death and he's in charge of all his siblings/his home but like... he's intense. Like clearly he's going through an identity crisis so maybe he should focus on that instead of dueling his friend? Also I hated the way the treated Siena.

Benedict

Oh boy I love Benedict. He just wants to pursue art and be awkward at parties and he and Eloise are such an adorable brother sister duo. Also the fact that he said he wouldn't care if Eloise was Lady Whistledown made me CRY he's too perfect for this world.

Colin

Colin is so sweet oh my goodness. He cared so much for Marina and the way he danced with Pen because she had a drink poured down the front of her dress for speaking the truth was just too sweet. He's probably the sweetest brother and I love him so much. Also his relationship with Pen is already perfect I can't wait for his season.

Daphne

I mean... I didn't really like her that much? For kind of the same reason I didn't like Mary from Downton Abbey: she's really too perfect. All her focus is on marriage and finding a match and having kids and making her mother proud. I know that this is a show about marriage, much like Downton Abbey, but I mean other characters have substance. Daphne exists to be the diamond of the first water and that's what she remains. Not surprised in the slightest that she's a Duchess.

Eloise

I can not even start to talk about how much I love Eloise. From the moment she shouted up the stairs to her sister, I knew that I would adore her. She's smart much smarter than she's given credit for, and she's so opposed to all the things that Daphne loves but they're a great pair and I mean who's more iconic than Eloise and Penelope? I really think my love for her was cemented when she informed her brothers that she doesn't share her food but also the fact that she made Lady Whistledown's carriage leave even though she wanted to know who she was really shows who she is as a character. I could go on and on about Eloise but I love her so much.

Francesca

She's an angel? I mean she wasn't really in the show but her piano playing is on point and from the books I know she's literally the sweetest person to walk the earth.

Gregory

He's... fine? A pretty typical annoying little brother? I don't really know what else to say about him. I didn't actually read his book either so.

Hyacinth

QUEEN. I love her so much. She's like eleven? twelve? And she's already perfect. She laughed in Nigel Berbrooke's face. Also can we talk about how she was (SPOILERS) technically right about Lady Whistledown? She asked if it was Lady Featherington and while it wasn't the mother it was the daughter and the poor girl was laughed at. She's always been my favorite Bridgerton, closely followed by Eloise. Also her obsession was Simon was hilarious. And book Hyacinth is ten times better. I really hope Hyacinth has a season in the show because there can never be enough Hyacinth and Gareth. And just imagine the headaches this girl is going to cause society members during her season her wit is on another level and she's too perfect.

[a-dorin]

"it's not a big deal"

pairing: professor!maul x fem!reader

word count: 2.022k

warnings: alcohol use, drinking, swearing, flirting, sexual harassment, slight age gap (no romance yet), sexual tension, mentions of student/professor relationship, 18+

a/n: i do not own the gif below! this takes place between ardor and tempestuous, which are chapters one and two. also i hope y'all enjoy how hot maul is in this like i did ;)

“how many times do i have to tell you this? professor kenobi is banging that hot political science professor. that blonde one.”

“nice word choice hardcase,” a platinum blonde snorts, bringing a cup to his lips, “i think you mean professor kenobi might be having sexual relations with professor satine.”

“isn’t she the pacifist or something?” another voice chirps, “a few of my friends have taken her classes. they’ve all said the same thing about her.”

“and that is?” the blonde arches a brow, his voice raised to a shout over the music.

“do we really have to talk about professors and class right now? shouldn’t we be celebrating our survival of the first week of classes?”

“and so she speaks!” hardcase bursts into a fit of laughter, taking another swig of his bottle, “sorry, you just hadn’t spoken in a while. i thought you went out to the dance floor or something.”

swiveling your head, your eyes dart over to the corner of the car, nose wrinkling in disgust at the sight of the mass of students, bodies pressed together, sweat plastering their bodies and clothes. why were some of them wearing jeans in august? surely they were overheated, the air muggy and thick. summer in coruscant was awful, even if the sun was well set.

the scent of alcohol and sweat hung in the air, almost clouding over your booth. shaking your head, your gaze falls on hardcase, his eyes glinting with the promise of more teasing, “i would rather not be included in the student body orgy.”

“everyone must be took drunk to care that they’re getting showered in sweat,” rex mutters, “tup, do you know what time coach buir said we had practice?”

“i think he mentioned something about weights at five,” a new voice remarks, flicking a water drop at hardcase, “that means if we leave now, we’ll all be getting about four and a half hours of sleep.”

“here we go,” hardcase lets out a dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes, “typical wolffe. always gotta ruin the fun.”

“i’m just trying to look out for your dumbass because i know you’re going to bitch about it tomorrow morning. i’d rather not run laps in the morning either for any tardiness. you know how much coach hates when we’re late,” wolffe growls, before taking a glance at his phone, “i don’t know about you guys, but i’m going to be responsible and head out now.”

beside you, rex mumbles a strand of curses under his breath, leaning his head against your shoulder, “sorry but i should probably head out too. the last thing i want is wolffe bitching and shit tomorrow. you know how he is, bein’ captain and all.”

closing your eyes, you exhale, gritting your teeth, “so you’re just going to leave me here?”

“i’ll leave my ringer on if you need me,” lips graze your temple, “hey, maybe you’ll run into that hot professor of yours. he can pick up a couple drinks for ya on his tab. i got the ones from earlier on mine. don’t worry about paying me back either.”

sliding out of the booth, you allow rex to make his way past you, “is this your ‘i’m sorry for leaving you behind on a packed night’?”

“perhaps,” the blonde shoots you a wink, patting his pocket, “again, if you need me, please don’t hesitate to call. i can come get you or pay for your uber. love you.’

“love you,” shifting your head upwards, you place a gentle kiss on rex’s cheek, “make it back safe. drink some water and take some tylenol. don’t want you feeling hungover in the morning.”

“i’m more worried about the ass-beating that’ll ensue when hardcase doesn’t show up on time,” a warm chuckle fills your ear, “see ya, bestie. make it home safe.”

“i will,” you take rex’s hand, squeezing it gently, “bye.”

“bye,” rex takes a step forward, waving a hasty goodbye before catching up with the rest of the boys, loud laughter rumbling amongst the group as they make their way towards the exit.

swallowing thickly, you slide back into the booth, fingers gripping the half-empty cup. of course they all had to leave, abandoning you on one of the busiest nights of the year. students of all ages, undergrad to grad, linger in groups, chatter filling the space as the song ended, leaving a pause before the next one started.

“you look lonely,” a voice, smooth and brassy, sounds to your right.

next to your table, stood a nautolan, drinks in hand. squeezing your cup, you blink, registering he was speaking to you, “oh -- um, uh, hi.”

“mind if i join you?”

“not at all,” you shake your head, “feel free to take a seat.”

“i’ve never seen you here before,” he states, flashing you a dazzling grin, “i’m nigel, a junior in bio. how about you?”

“oh,” you pause, biting your lower lip, “i’m just in health sciences. i’m a junior too.”

“a gorgeous girl like you doesn’t have a name?” carefully, nigel slides a cup towards you, “i talked to one bartender but another brought me my drink. somehow i ended up with two.”

cautiously, you accepted the drink, but didn’t take a sip, “thank you, but i’ve had my fair share tonight.”

which, you weren’t wrong. as you sat in the booth, you couldn’t help but feel this tingly feeling, as it rippled from your head to your toes. it was almost as if you weighed nothing, as if you were bouncy and light. a blissful sensation, really.

yet, there was this other feeling in your stomach, gnawing at you, threatening to consume you whole. the leather on the seat clung to your thighs, the temperature of the air elevating a few degrees as nigel’s eyes narrow into slits, his lips falling.

“come on, you don’t want a free drink?”

“like i said,” you clear your throat, “i’ve had my fair share tonight. i don’t want to feel it in the morning, ya know?”

“hm,” nigel hums, a hand darting across the table, finding yours, “could i interest you in something else, maybe? something like you come home with me instead, and i can offer you something other than drinks? we could have some fun, and then i could eat you for brea--”

“hey love,” suddenly, a hand falls on your shoulder, “i asked for what you wanted but they were out for the night.”

glancing upwards, your heart skips a beat at the person beside you.

warm amber eyes lock with yours, nearly glowing in the dim light, “i didn’t frighten you, did i?”

“hey,” nigel’s voice cuts in, “we’re having a conversation here, bud.”

his attention shifts, eyes hardening at the sight of the nautolan, “i was not aware that they hadn’t taken the trash out for the evening.”

“m-maul--” you begin, but you’re swiftly interrupted by his lips connecting with yours.

the kiss was brief, only a mere peck. yet, you couldn’t help but melt. his lips were soft, and gods were they so tantalizing as he pulls away, glowering over to nigel.

if only a moment could have lasted just a second longer.

“i believe you should have left the moment she expressed her disinterest in you. she can hold her own but gods you must be a fly or something. some sort of pest. leave her alone.”

nigel did not utter another word, exiting the booth promptly while you remained seated, cheeks burning hot, a fiery feeling in your chest. maul cleared his throat, lingering at your side.

“do you need someone to walk you home?”

“do you always kiss your students?”

there’s a brief exhale, the zabrak’s fingers finding your chin. he was more dressed than the last time you saw him, a light cotton tee clinging to his torso, the color complementing his tattoos. a pair of heather grey shorts hung on his hips, the cotton leaving nothing to the imagination. it helped him blend in, giving him a facade that he was just like you. a student stopping by the bar for some fun.

tilting your head upwards, you meet his gaze once more, finding it increasingly more difficult to maintain your composure as he leans in, chain nearly dangling in your face.

“i only kiss the ones who have my utmost attention.”

“how did you manage to slip in without people noticing? you’re pretty popular on campus, you know.”

“kallus lets me slip in through the back,” in the corner of your eye, there’s this shiny object.

quickly, you realize it’s a six-pack of bottles. beer bottles.

maul continues, his voice gravelly as his fingers remain on your chin, “this is the only bar in town who carries this kind of beer i like. now, is that a satisfactory explanation?”

“it’s good enough,” you’re surprised that he could hear the words your voice was so low, “you should leave.”

“not without getting you an uber first,” maul sets the six-pack on the table, pulling his phone out, “what’s your address?”

“i can make it home just fine,” you scoff, “just go already before we draw in any more unwanted attention.”

“i know you can make it home just fine,” you tense at the firm tone in his voice, “i just need to know you’ll get there safe. it’ll bring me some peace of mind. also, why are you here by yourself?”

“rex had to leave,” you mutter, fidgeting with your own phone, “just go, all right? it’s not a big deal.”

“all right,” the zabrak gives in, huffing, “i’ll see you in class on monday.”

“what if nigel recognizes you and reports you?” bringing a hand to your mouth, you feel horrible for even asking the question.

but, it needed to be said.

after all, your psychology professor conducted some very unprofessional behavior. not only in front of one student, but an entire bar full of them, no less.

“don’t worry about it,” maul places a tender hand on your shoulder, “if i do, it was worth it. i’m sure that prick was too intoxicated to even establish who i was. don’t worry about it too much, okay? i don’t want you losing sleep over your professor.”

“i lose sleep over your class anyways,” taking your cup, you finish off your drink from earlier, recoiling at the lukewarm taste.

grabbing his six-pack maul shoves his phone in his pocket, clearing his throat.

“be prepared to lose some more, love. you won’t sleep much when it comes to me. see you in class.”

“s-see you in class.”

as the zabrak slips into the crowd, weaving between all sorts of species and humans, the ambiance seems to crumble away, leaving you in the booth, mind reeling, wondering what the hell just happened.

maul, the professor from your psychology class, the one you saw at the gym, nearly half-naked, clobbering away at a punching bag, also happened to run into you at the bar, stepping in to prevent any more harassment from a very drunk nautolan. he kissed you. his lips were on yours, leaving you dazed and entranced, somehow craving more.

fingers brush your lips, and for a moment you forget that they’re your own, ghosting over the plush skin where his mouth once touched.

gods, this was only fuel to the fire, this attraction that left you yearning more and more.

yearning for him.

this wasn’t a big deal, was it? surely he would’ve done this for any other student? surely he wasn’t giving you some sort of special treatment. this was just some sort of fucked up incident. a fever dream, of sorts. gods, it sure fucking felt like one.

surely this wasn’t going to make things awkward in class. after all, you were going to see him bright and early within a matter of days. maybe he’d forget about it. maybe it was nothing.

this wasn’t a big deal. he said it wasn’t.

you were sure of one thing, though.

monday morning was going to be an interesting one, that was without a doubt.

☆☆☆☆☆

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