#i mean one evil rapist coming back AGAIN is already shit enough to make me not want to watch this season

[cryingovershance]

okay hey don’t know if anyone cares and i know that it hasnt been updated recently, but in light of recent news, the tw sh/ance au i have been writing is like. definitely going to be paused until tw the actual show is long dead and buried in the ground, preferably somewhere freshly salted so it will never rise again :)

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Wonder Woman 1984

The first 3/4 of 2017’s Wonder Woman was my favorite film of that year. The last 1/4 was my least favorite film of that year. What can I say, I have a complicated relationship with the DCEU, and the part I keep getting disappointed by is the big smash-em-up, explosions everywhere, muddy mess of orange/blue filter in the “climactic showdown” between hero and villain. I just don’t have the patience for it anymore, and I was so hoping that the Jazzercise vibes of Wonder Woman 1984 would do something different. 

As it turns out, this movie was trying to warn me like so many stories that have come before - be careful what you wish for. Just how badly did my wish go bad? Well...

I’d already heard some questionable things about the movie before I tuned in, so my expectations were tempered but I guess it was on me. I should have known better than to wish for a story with reasonable pacing, some kind of consistent tone, villains with discernable motivation, or a Wonder Woman movie that was actually about fucking Wonder Woman. I’m not even mad as much as I am puzzled. That and tormented by Pedro Pascal’s manic televangelist energy in my dreams. 

Some thoughts:

I have never wanted to go anywhere as much as I want to in 2020, and the place I want to go more than any other is Themyscira. Love this first sequence. Why is the whole movie not about Themyscira??

If the Olympics were like this whole long Amazonian warrior triathlon, I would be WAY more into track and field. 

Also I legit don’t understand the problem with her taking the short path? Like, it’s there for a reason? She just caught up to her horse? Someone explain this to me.

So this mall...basically the hub of American commerce in the 80s that was practically printing money, it made it so fast...is secretly a front for antiquities trading on the black market? And these unorganized-ass dipshit criminals who seemingly just walked in off the street and decided to engage in some light robbery today are after antiquities? Sure, Jan.

Ohh I miss Waldenbooks so much!

This thwarting of crime sequence in the mall feels so...cheesy. Schlocky, almost. Like a 50s comic book come to life. I dunno, it just doesn’t feel like the tone I was expecting. In the context of the whole film, we really blew our action load in these first 2 sequences, and also this is the last point in the movie in which Diana actually resembles her character from the first film.

I would also be stammery and blushy when talking to Diana Prince for the first (and second) time, but I’m kinda getting a gay vibe from Barbara. This meet-cute + date is definitely playing up romantic vibes. Kristen Wiig is so good at characters like these - in less than 2 scenes, I have such a clear picture of who Barbara is, what she wants, what she fears, and that’s all down to Wiig’s choices. [ETA: This makes it all the more infuriating when Barbara suddenly is like “I want to be an apex predator” when nothing about her character’s reaction to getting positive attention indicates she would want to start shitting all over everyone else.]

Pedro Pascal is skeeving me out as our villain Max Lord, which really just shows his range, because normally I love him and find him wildly charming in everything. But he’s playing this oil baron creep to the max, as they would say in the parlance of the 80s, and it makes my skin crawl. 

The mechanics of how Steve Trevor returns are wildly confusing. Why is this other guy involved at all? Are we supposed to be ok with the idea of Diana fucking *some other dude’s body* without his consent just because Steve’s spirit/consciousness/whatever is inside the guy? Also that guy DEFINITELY got fired from his job after going AWOL for a whole week, right? 

I am thrilled with Steve’s clothes montage. One of my favorite things in any 80s film, and his enthusiasm really sells it.

I do really like Diana and Steve playing detective, following clues, crafting theories. In spite of the absolute dumbassery of how Steve came back, Chris Pine and Gal Gadot have incredible chemistry and I do find their scenes together delightful. 

I think that’s why it’s so frustrating to me the way their entire relationship was handled. If the whole point of the wish going bad is that it has a cost, wouldn’t it have been better, instead of making Diana weak, to have Steve slowly start to be more and more of an asshole - aka not the Steve Diana remembered and loved? Make her realize that the Steve she knew and loved is really gone and she has to stop letting his memory hold her hostage. Maybe his last moment of self-awareness would be realizing that this wasn’t who he really was, and she was better off just remembering who he was and moving on rather than trying to hold on to this thing that isn’t good for her? 

The sequence with the fireworks made me emotional. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane on the 4th of July was when I was coming back from a visit with my uncle in Dallas. He had flown me, my mom, and my grandma down for a whirlwind trip, and we flew back the night of the 4th. I got to see fireworks from above for the first time, and it felt so magical. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, and feeling that magic again (via Diana and Steve) made me miss him and all the adventure he brought into my life something fierce.

Am I supposed to be like...anti- the idea of Barbara absolutely kicking the shit out of this drunk catcaller who attempted to assault her earlier in the movie? It feels like the film wants us to be like “oh no that’s bad” but my empathy goes on vacation for attempted rapists. 

Like...did anyone do ANY kind of fact-checking on this script? The Maya haven’t been “wiped from the face of the earth” there are still 6 million of them living in Central and South America. Escalators were invented in the 1890s for fucks’ sake. PLANES IN THE 80S DONT WORK LIKE PLANES IN 1918. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALL THOSE SWITCHES DO STEVE. Also...just because the plane is invisible doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. Isn’t the whole point of radar to detect things that you can’t, y’know, SEE? Seriously, how many people fiddled with this script until it turned into an incomprehensible mess?

Did I Cry? OK yeah, I did when Diana and Steve had their conversation after they escaped the White House. But I feel like I should have cried more then, as well as earlier when Diana tells Steve that she only wants this one thing. I love Gal Gadot in this role, but I do wish her acting expressed a little more emotional depth and honesty for the moments like this that should really tug on the heartstrings.

I know Wonder Woman is bulletproof, but are we saying she’s also...immune to electricity? 

If there’s one thing that living through a global pandemic has taught me, it’s that we can’t rely on the inherent responsibility of every individual person to do the right thing in order to save their community (or the world). So the climax of this film really feels like a big ol’ fictional FUCK YOU to every person who has been quarantining since March as the US government twiddles their thumbs and relies on personal choice to lower infection rates. I know they made this film during 2019 and had no idea what would be coming, but this entire sequence was the most horrifying, short-sighted, offensive way to have good overcome evil I could imagine for a 2020 movie. “Just count on people to do the right thing and everything will be fine!” We’re WELL FUCKING PAST THAT, Diana. 

And maybe this is my debbie downer pessimistic ass, but the message “the world is a beautiful place the way it was” feels like some real bullshit. Do you mean the world is a flawed, complicated place where beautiful things exist DESPITE all the violence, inequality, and poverty? Ok, that I’ll buy, for sure. But “Everything was fine the way it was!” is uhh not what I would have gone with. That’s a first draft edit if ever I heard one. Seriously, how did this make it through MULTIPLE studio drafts and no one thought to point this out?  

I literally had to go back after the credits were over and rewind to figure out what happened to Pedro Pascal at the end. If I not only don’t care, but also can’t remember what happened to the villain at the end of the movie, that’s a big motherfucking problem.

I was giddily delighted by that first post-credits scene though! Probably the biggest moment of joy I felt during the film.

For being a Wonder Woman movie, it feels like there’s so little actual Wonder Woman IN the movie. The first film is rooted firmly in Diana finding her place in the world, understanding and coming into her power. This feels like she’s a bystander in her own life, and her most significant moments are always in the context of someone else’s narrative arc. And there’s nothing that comes even close to the breathless wonder of that No-Man’s-Land scene, aka one of the best superhero movie moments of all time. 

This doesn’t have the knowing wink of Aquaman or the nuanced character arcs of Birds of Prey. It doesn’t have the childish glee of Shazam! or any of the nonsensical grimdark bullshit of Zack Snyder’s entire ouvre. It feels like Wonder Woman 1984 suffers the same fate as its protagonist - a profound lack of presence or drive. Sure there are some fun sequences, and the actors are doing the best they can with a weak script, but it’s just not enough to save it. In a year where I saw so few contemporary films (focusing more on catching up on past films I’d missed), I can’t think of one that disappointed me more. 

[writingblock101]

Are You Fucking Kidding Me? (Jason Todd x Reader)

What is a short Jason Todd fic? I don’t know her, so I broke this into two parts, again. Also, you can pry italics from my cold, dead hands. I had so much fun writing this, I really enjoy this debate. After this, I have a Harley Quinn!daughter request to write, so keep an eye out for that one. 

Summary: As an ER nurse, you deal with a lot of shit, but Red Hood is not one of those things. 

Warnings: Injuries are mentioned? It’s not very gory, this is very dialog heavy 

Word Count: 4,000

You’ve seen a lot of shit working as a nurse in the emergency room. Last week, an eight-year-old who still wore pulls ups came in, despite being physically and mentally capable of learning how to use a toilet at an earlier age. Three nights ago, you watched a mother hug her teenage son and sob with relief after the doctor stitched his wrists up after a suicide attempt.  Yesterday, you performed CPR on a three-week-old only for the infant to die. Some nights were better than others. 

Then the Red Hood shows up in Gotham. 

He’s fighting crime, you guess, but geez, is killing people really necessary? You might understand if it was someone like Joker or a serial killer or something, but this guy isn’t even going after the masked psychopaths that run around Gotham. He’s going after drug dealers. And not just throwing them in prison, no, he’s murdering them. 

Seriously? Gotham is practically a superheroes’ playground, but this guy, this Red Hood is running around murdering drug dealers? Yeah, you understand what they’re doing is illegal, but come on, rape is also illegal and you don’t see rapists showing up dead on the news. Instead, you see some dude who was selling crack on the corner, dead. 

And yeah, you might be slightly biased against using death to solve problems as someone who entered a field dedicated to saving lives, but this Red Hood dude? He’s kind of an idiot. 

. . . 

After a twelve-hour shift ending at 6 AM, you head to your apartment, hoping to relax, but that plan is promptly thrown out the door when you open your apartment door to see no one other than the Red Hood sitting on your couch, pointing a gun at you, and holding his side. 

Are you fucking kidding me? 

“Shut the door,” He orders quietly, his voice sounding just as gravely and deep as you figured it would. 

You sigh, flick the lights on, and shut the door. 

“Pretty convenient for you to break into a nurse’s apartment when you’re bleeding out,” You state boredly, setting your things on the counter. “I have a feeling that wasn’t luck.” 

“You’re going to help me,” He threatens, cocking the gun. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me and bleed out on my couch? Stellar plan.” 

He slowly lowers his gun, probably hoping for more fear to be struck in your heart as opposed to sass. 

“Will you please help me?” He asks quietly. 

You huff to yourself and shake your head. Unbelievable. But, you go to your bedroom and dig out the trauma kit gifted to you by your sister’s military medic husband. Stupid murdering criminal or not, he’s trying to do some good in the city, you guess, so you’re not going to let this dumbass bleed out on your couch.

“Scoot over,” You command as you walk back into the living room then sit down next to Red Hood and snap on a pair of gloves. 

He shifts and removes his hand, letting you look at the deep stab wound which is oozing yellowish discharge and has scabbing gathered around the edges. It seems to be an old wound that got infected then reopened. A ripped Kevlar vest is discarded on the couch. How the fuck? 

“I wasn’t going to shoot you,” He mutters. 

“Really?” You retort sarcastically, digging for disinfectant in your bag. “You know, I was always taught that you only point a gun at someone you have the intention of shooting,” You glare at him, but he looks away sheepishly. 

“It was supposed to be extra motivation. It’s hard to tell who hates me and I’m kind of desperate.” 

“I wonder why," You mutter sarcastically.

You grab a pair of scissors from your bag and cut a bigger hole in his shirt to expose more of the wound then begin cleaning out the infection.  

“I’m guessing you’re not my biggest fan.” 

“Wow, you’d really give Batman a run for his money with that whole “world’s greatest detective” status,” You remark dryly. 

“Well, do I even get to hear your gripes against me?” 

You sit up and stare at him. 

“Why bother asking? I know you don’t give a shit,” You continue cleaning the wound, your teeth grinding against each other. 

He shrugs. 

“Yeah, not really,” Red Hood admits. “But you’re keeping me from dying so I could at least listen.” 

“How the hell did you do this?” You demand, ignoring his last question. “It looks like you got stabbed, but you were wearing Kevlar. Who gets stabbed in a gunfight?” 

“Someone that isn’t expecting the other guy to be carrying a knife sharp enough to cut through Kevlar,” He snaps. 

“It’s almost like people have started picking up on your M.O. and are arming themselves,” You roll your eyes. “Crazy.” 

“Seriously, what is your issue with me?!” 

You pause to put away the disinfectant and pull out a suture kit, but before you thread the needle, you stop to look Red Hood in the eye through his stupid helmet. 

“I’m in a field dedicated to saving lives. What do you think my issue with you is?” 

He scoffs. 

“Great, another person with the morals of Batman. Should I also toss down some pillows before they hit the ground? They’re drug-dealing pimps!” 

“Yeah, they’re pieces of shit, but out of all the shitbags in this city, you’ve decided that drug dealers are the ones worth killing?! I’d understand having them arrested, but murder? It’s overkill,” You grumble, beginning to stitch up his side.  

“You underestimate how much of the crime in Gotham is controlled by the drug trade.” 

You roll your eyes again. 

“Yeah, maybe I do, but who died and gave you the power to be the judge, jury, and executioner?”

“I’m cleaning up Gotham! I’m doing what Batman won’t do!” 

“Have you ever considered that the ideas of good and evil are subjective?” You snap. “It’s not always so black and white. Sometimes people make mistakes or get desperate and they’re scared. They think this is their only out and they’re too wrapped up in their own lives to consider the consequences. They don’t deserve to die! Send them to prison!” 

“You haven’t seen the type of evil that plagues Gotham,” Red Hood responds darkly. 

“Oh bullshit! I see the worst side of humanity every fucking night! Three hours ago, I helped a doctor stitch up a two-year-olds head because her mom’s shitty boyfriend grabbed her by the legs and slammed her into a wall because she was crying. Even I know that this shit isn’t black and white.” 

“Yeah, you’re right, send them to prison, then five months later they’re walking the streets again, doing the same shit! People don’t change.” 

“You don’t give them the chance to change.” 

“They’ve already proven they don’t deserve that chance!” 

“For dealing drugs? Come on, you gotta see that killing them is kind of extreme!” 

“I don’t.” 

You groan, shaking your head. 

“This is why I didn’t even want to bother to have this conversation. I know I’m not going to change your mind.” 

“I’ve got bigger fish to fry.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m going after drug dealers right now to get someone else’s attention.” 

“So, what about all these people you’re killing to “get someone’s attention”? What are they? Means to an end?” 

“I don’t see one less drug-dealing pimp on the street being a bad thing.” 

“I don’t see one more drug-dealing pimp in prison being a bad thing. You murdered five people last night--”

Red Hood scoffs. 

“That they know about.” 

You roll your eyes and tie off the last stitch then prepare the bandages to cover the fresh stitches. 

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” You growl, wrapping up his side with gauze and tape. “You murdered five people, all under the age of twenty-two last night.”

“Your point?” 

“My point is they’re stupid kids who don’t deserve to die!” You snap. “They’re young and stupid and unaware! Let them go to prison! They don’t deserve to die!” 

“Like I said, all of this is to take out someone bigger.” 

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow. “And who’s this “bigger” person?” 

“You’ll see soon enough, and you’ll thank me,” He hisses. 

“Right,” You nod, placing the last piece of tape. “I’m sure I will.” 

As you pack up your supplies and gather any bloodied material, you walk Red Hood through the aftercare for his stitches. 

“Keep them covered for forty-eight hours and try not to reopen them. You really don’t want to stretch the skin too much. Don’t shower for twenty-four hours, then you can start washing them with soap and water. Rest and laying down will help with pain and swelling,” You glance over at him, slowly nodding along with what you’re saying. “If it gets infected again… Go to the hospital or something.”

Red Hood nods then slowly stands up, carefully puts his jacket on, and heads to your window. He slides the window open and rests a foot on your window sill. 

“Hey!” You protest. “What did I just say about not stretching the skin?!” 

“I don’t think your neighbors would be pleased to see me roaming the hallways,” He remarks dryly. “Besides, I don’t need some drug lord to know I have a loose end in this apartment complex.”

“Whatever,” You groan.

Rip your stitches out, see if I care, dumbass. 

“Thanks for the stitches,” He fully steps out the window then pauses and pops his head back inside. “Oh, and those five dudes you saw on the news? The ones under twenty-two or whatever? Yeah, they were dealing to twelve-year-olds,” Then he disappears with the last word. 

Twelve-year-olds? Even you will admit, that’s pretty despicable, but still. 

“Good riddance,” You mutter to yourself, going back to your bedroom for a shower. 

Red Hood is an asshole. 

. . .

Two weeks passed and as you hoped and expected, you didn’t open your apartment door to a gun being pointed at you. You figured that night was the last night you’d see the Red Hood unless he was on the news, and you were very content with that. While the news of killing the dealers who dealt to kids was surprising and slightly admirable, you had no desire to see him again. 

So, you can imagine your annoyance when you open your apartment door to see a familiar figure sitting on your couch. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” You groan. “What, no gun this time?” 

Red Hood chuckles. 

“Well, I would just because, but I don’t have the means to hold my arms up right now.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed together and you drop your stuff on the counter before walking over to him. 

“What the hell did you do this time?” 

“I uh… Dislocated one shoulder, which I would put back in place myself, but my other elbow and wrist are broken, so I kind of… can’t.” 

“Uh-huh…” You say slowly then eye his leather jacket, hiding his arms and shoulders. “Hopefully we don’t need to cut this off, because I’m not sure I have scissors strong enough to get through leather on hand.” 

“You better not cut my fucking jacket,” He grumbles. 

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before dislocating your shoulder and breaking your elbow and wrist!”

“Right, because I definitely left my apartment thinking you know what would be fun tonight? Getting my ass kicked!” Red Hood retorts sarcastically. 

“Who did you lose to?” 

“Nobody,” He snaps. 

“Really? Because this doesn’t look like a victory to me,” You gesture at his arms. 

“The other guys look worse,” He responds smugly. 

You roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m sure they do,” You mutter digging two splints, tape, and gauze out of your expansive first aid kit. “You bleeding anywhere?” You ask, sitting down on the couch next to him. 

“Not this time,” He grumbles. 

“How are your stitches healing?” You ask, unraveling the gauze. 

“Fine.” 

“Alright, let’s try to get your jacket off,” You focus on his right arm first, the one with the dislocated shoulder, and carefully push the jacket off his arm. 

He winces, barely audible, but you manage to get the jacket off his right arm. 

“Now this side will be fun,” You groan, moving over to Red Hood’s left side. 

You easily pull his jacket off his left shoulder, but once you reach the elbow, the jacket gets stuck. Understandably, his elbow has swelled so pushing the jacket down isn’t an option. 

“You really don’t want me to cut this?” You ask, frowning at the leather. 

“If it’s avoidable,” He responds in a pained voice. 

Although he’s been fairly quiet, you know he’s in a lot of pain. 

“Okay,” You sigh, thinking over your options. “Well, we’re not going to be able to push it off. Your elbow is too swollen… But, I could grab the cuff and carefully pull it off. It’s going to hurt really bad though--”

“Do you think you could get it in one yank?” 

“Um… Maybe? But that might mess your elb--”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to sit here for twenty minutes while you try to be gentle. Just yank the damn thing off.” 

“...Okay,” You blink. “Um… let’s see… How much can you straighten your arm?” 

He pulls his arm out at a slightly awkward angle.

“That’s the best I got,” He says through gritted teeth. “And I can’t hold it for long.” 

“Right,” You quickly stand up to get the best leverage, then grab the cuff with both hands. “Okay, ready?” Then you yank as hard as you can and the jacket comes off. 

Red Hood yells then doubles over in pain, his head against your coffee table. He continues cursing, banging on the table before finally sitting up, breathing heavily through his helmet. 

“Holy shit, you weren’t kidding about it hurting.” 

“Yeah,” You nod. “But it’s off and your jacket isn’t cut, so the next question is what do you want to be done first-- your arm splinted or for me to relocate your shoulder?” 

He groans. 

“Wow, they both sound like so much fun.” 

“Splinting probably won’t be that bad after pulling the jacket off,” You note. “I found an old wrist brace in my stuff so I’ll use that on your wrist then the splint for your elbow.” 

He nods along, probably still recovering from the force it took for you to yank his jacket off so you start splinting his elbow and wrist. 

“You’re actually going to have to rest,” You tell him, finishing up the tight wrappings. “Broken bones are no joke, you’re actually going to have to rest if you want to heal.” 

“Yeah, yeah I know,” He grumbles. 

You move to his shoulder and maneuver his arm into place. 

“Alright, you ready?” 

He nods. 

“Okay, I’m going to count to three. One, two--” Then you shift his shoulder into place, rolling the ball back into his socket. 

“Shit!” Red Hood doubles over. “I thought you were going to count to three!” 

“It’s a trick for putting stuff back in place,” You explain, putting away any extra supplies. “If I had put your shoulder back when I said I was going to, your body would tense up in preparation and make it harder to put it back.” 

“Right,” He grumbles, rolling his shoulder then stands up to leave. “Thanks for the help.” 

“Wait,” You call to him as he reaches the window. “Why did you wait so long to tell me that the dealers you killed were dealing to kids?” 

He shrugs with one shoulder.

“Does it really matter to you?” 

“Kind of! I’m not on board with killing people,” You remind him. “But at least it makes slightly more sense.” 

“I don’t go around justifying myself to people. You rather agree or get the hell out of my way.” 

“What a motto,” You roll your eyes. “Do you kill everyone you don’t agree with?” 

“You’re still alive,” He points out. 

“How reassuring. What, do you have only child syndrome or something?”

“Stop trying to guess shit about me, you suck at it,” He snaps. “See you next time, doc.'' 

“I guess I don’t get any say in that matter, do I?” 

“As long as I’m the one holding the gun, nope,” He winks, stepping out of your window. 

“Guess I’ll just have to invest in a gun then,” You retort. 

Red Hood snorts and fully steps onto the fire escape outside your window. 

“You won’t shoot me.” 

“You don’t know that!” You protest. 

“Yeah, I do,” Then he hops off the railing, already ignoring your advice to rest his injuries. 

“I might,” You mutter to yourself. “Go break your arms again, see if I give a fuck,” You mumble angrily, walking to your bedroom. 

Red Hood still an asshole. 

. . . 

Two months later, you open your apartment door to be greeted by a familiar gun. You sigh, locking the door behind you. 

“I thought we moved past the whole “threatening me with a gun” thing?” You roll your eyes. 

“Last time doesn’t count,” Red Hood reasons through a pained voice. You notice he’s laying down this time instead of sitting up. “I couldn’t hold up a gun.” 

“What did you do this time?” You ask boredly. 

“Got blown up,” He responds casually. “I think I got some stuff stuck in my chest.” 

“If you stain my couch, being blown up won’t be your biggest problem tonight,” You growl at him. 

“Love it when you threaten me,” Red Hood remarks with an eye roll. 

“Shut up,” You mutter, grabbing your trauma kit. “I don’t know how I became your personal “doc in the box”,” You grumble, sitting down next to him. 

“Because you keep helping me.” 

“I don’t know why I keep doing that either.” 

“Probably morals or some shit.” 

“How ironic of me,” You remark. 

Red rolls his eyes. 

“I have morals.” 

“Would’ve fooled me,” You retort, looking over the shrapnel lodged in his chest. 

“Last time I talked to you, you seemed impressed I actually killed people doing really shitty things.” 

“I know every drug dealer you kill isn’t dealing to kids. It doesn’t cancel each other out.” 

“They all have the potential to,” He points out. 

“Yeah, and every person has the potential to be a serial killer, but you don’t see me going around murdering every person I can find,” You snap on a pair of gloves then use a pair of tweezers to begin picking out shrapnel. 

“No, but you certainly wouldn’t let the ones holding a knife to people’s throats go free.”

You clench your jaw, already annoyed. 

“Who tried to blow you up?” 

“Batman.” 

“Nice,” You nod. “And somehow, you still think you’re in the right.” 

“You don’t know shit about Batman or the things he’s done.” 

“You sound like every other masked psychopath in this city with a vendetta against Batman.” 

Red snatches your wrist, squeezing tightly. 

“I am nothing like them,” He growls out. 

“Really?” You ask, unphased by his grip on you. “And what makes you different?” 

“I’m being what Gotham needs.” 

“That’s a pretty subjective answer, if you ask me. You don’t think someone like Two-Face at one point thought he was being what Gotham needed? Or what about Catwoman and Poison Ivy? They seem to be a lot like you.” 

“The villains that run around Gotham, they don’t fear Batman,” Red releases your wrist. “You wanna know why? Because they know he won’t kill them. But they’re scared of me because they’ll know I’ll finish the job. Gotham doesn’t need justice. She can’t even carry out justice. She needs an iron fist, vengeance.” 

“Gotham needs a lot of things, someone else going around killing people is not one of those things,” You mutter, dropping the last piece of shrapnel on a paper towel you laid out. 

“You’re right, we don’t need anyone else going around killing innocent people, so it’s a good thing I’m not killing innocent people.” 

“So, what happens when that line becomes blurred?” You ask, sitting up for a moment to look at Red Hood. “What happens when your judgment becomes clouded and it turns out the people you thought were evil aren’t actually evil? What happens when you start killing innocent people?” 

“I won’t let it get to that point.” 

“Nobody thinks it’ll get to that point,” You point out, beginning to clean out the cuts. 

“Yeah, well, I have certain… past experiences that set me apart.” 

“Really?” You raise your eyebrows. “And what’s your tragic backstory that sets you apart?”

“None of your business,” He snaps. “And also not what I am referring too. Didn’t anyone tell you about what happens when you make assumptions?” 

You roll your eyes then grab a pair of scissors and cut a small section of Red Hood’s shirt only to be met with the strangest thing you’ve ever seen in all your years of practicing medicine.

“Is this…” You stare at the scar longer, just to be sure. “Is this an autopsy scar?!” 

“Don’t worry about it,” He brushes you off quickly. 

“Holy fuck it totally is,” You curse. “Who are you?!” 

“You know, the whole point of the helmet is for you to not know the answer to that.” 

“You literally have an autopsy scar! And you’re not going to give me any explanation for that?” 

“Nope. It’s none of your business, sweetheart.” 

“Don’t call me sweetheart,” You growl. 

“Then stay out of my business.” 

“You brought your business to my apartment when you broke in and threatened me with a gun!” 

“And?” 

“What do you mean “and”?!” 

“And none of what you just said makes me obligated to tell you shit!” 

“I’ve kept you from dying, multiple times!” 

“So? You’re not the only one.” 

“Are you fucking serious?! Dude, you have an autopsy scar! Do you know what that means?!” 

“I would love to hear your thoughts.”

“You rather got tortured by someone who is seriously twisted, or you straight up died and were dead long enough for an autopsy to be performed and are now somehow alive.” 

He pauses then slowly nods. 

“Yeah, that actually just about sums up what happened.” 

“Which one?” 

“Both.”

“...What?!” 

“I gave you an explanation! Can you just finish?!” 

“None of your explanation makes sense! How are you alive?!”  

“I don’t know!” He snaps. “And I’ve had a shitty night so I’d really like to leave so can you please finish?!” His voice cracks on the last word. 

You frown but know you’re not getting any further explanation. Instead, you finish stitching Red up without another word. He stands up and carefully puts his jacket back on and walks toward the window. Before opening it, he stops and glances back at you. 

“I’m… I’m not fully sure how I am alive. All I know is I woke up in my coffin. I died a few years back and a lot of shit happened and now I’m here, for better or for worse.” 

You stare at him for a moment then frown. 

“Are you… okay? Not physically, but mentally?” 

He chuckles humorlessly. 

“Not really. Dying kind of fucks you up. Coming here is fun though. You don’t take any of my shit and it… It makes me feel like myself again. Thanks for the stitches, Doc,” Then he opens the window and disappears into the night. 

You stare dumbfounded at the window. Red Hood is still an asshole, but he just got a whole lot more complicated.

Part two is soon! Wow, I went from never writing multiple parts to needing to split them up because I really love writing for Jason. I’ve also been so blown away by all the love I’ve received on White Flag. Thank you guys so much! 

Part 2

[clairecrive]

Saw your post about Tommy Conlon! What about Tommy x reader about how Tommy feels around a woman that loves him after everything that happened to him? Maybe reader is a kinda shy too? Or maybe smth about how they start dating? I'm just so soft for Tommy omg

Omg yes. Hi, anon! First of all, thank you so much for your request. Second of all, I totally am too, he deserves to be smothered with love. Period. 

Tbh, when I try to imagine something about him and a potential love interest I feel like it would take ages to even talk to him, let alone let him open up to someone. I think it would be a long process, but tbh my mind has been filled with ideas since I saw your ask and I’m dying to give it a try. However, this is the first time that I write about Tommy so pls bear with me.

I’m totally going to do one about how he deals with the reader’s presence in his life and her affection for him even in his toughest moment(maybe she’s there during Sparta or they meet afterwards? don’t know yet), so let’s consider this one as a prequel for that. Just to understand the context.

(continues under the cut) 

When anyone referred to the “American Dream” no one’s mind imagined them in Pittsburgh. That’s a fact.

But what point is there to dream about the “Big Apple” or the sunny L.A. when you couldn’t afford it? Pittsburgh was the only option given that a part of your family lived here and deeply you were grateful for the opportunity of leaving “il bel paese” for a while. 

Although it was hard to start fresh in a place where you didn’t know anyone, you actually found out soon enough that the total anonymity that came with moving to a new place suited you quite well. After the first few months spent on enrolling into looking for a job that matched your qualifications and eventually settling for a job that paid the bills when you didn’t find any, you had mastered a beautiful routine.

You would get up bright and early no matter how much you wanted to sleep ‘till the end of times, after a quick breakfast you would head to the local library. When you didn’t have a shift you would still go just to set in a secluded corner of the library and read for a few hours. 

Then around lunchtime, you would bring food for you and your cousin that worked in a gym near the library. James, your cousin, is a personal trainer. Sometimes he would also coach some guys for MMA fights and work as a secretary in the spare time. Since I’ve moved here though, he offered to speak with his boss for the secretary place and thanks to James now I have also a job as a secretary.

To be honest, working in a gym attended only by guys, wasn’t as bad as you thought. They didn’t pay you much attention, other than a few words when they came in or left and some brave ones that tried to hit on you. Maybe it was because you were James’ little cousin, you weren’t sure. In any case, you were fine just being invisible.

Afternoons there were actually quite boring and uneventful, so you would usually look for jobs or read whatever book you had picked up at the library. The last one you were reading was actually so interesting and captivating that you couldn’t keep your eyes off the pages even when you were walking. 

You knew the road from the library to the gym by heart by now and it was all walking area, so no risk of being put under a car, fortunately.

So that’s exactly what you were doing when you met him the first time: nose buried in the pages of the book not really paying attention to your surroundings. If your calculations were correct you were almost outside of the gym. It turned out that you were almost correct and a door in your face told you that you were in fact right outside the gym.

Needless to say, the impact made your book violently hit your face making you lose your balance and almost hit the floor. Yes, almost, because Tommy’s hands prevented you from making a fool of yourself. Well at that time you didn’t know his name was Tommy, to be honest.

“You should be more about where you’re going.” His voice was almost rude like you had made him do something that he would rather avoid. Of course, at that moment your shyness only allowed you to mutter an apology and blush from the embarrassment. And that’s what you did before quickly making your way into the gym where your cousin was waiting for you.

It wasn’t that Tommy was rude, he was just really introverted and didn’t like talking to people. A trait you had in common, you would soon find out. He was actually very well-mannered and he probably had realized that the way he had spoken to you could have made him come across as someone that he wasn’t. While he usually didn’t care about other people’s perception of him, he still thought he was in the wrong.

Mind you, he didn’t apologize. Not openly at least. The next time you saw him walking into the gym, he acknowledged your presence with a tilt of his head. It wasn’t much, for some people it could actually be seen as rude but it was the first time he “reached out to you” and you appreciated it. Besides, it was just the way he was.

So that’s the way your interactions went, on good days be would occasionally smile at you and when your shyness wasn’t getting the best of you, you actually managed to smile back. Until one day everything changed. You had to walk where the rings were to talk to James and since you’ve looked at his schedule, you knew he was coaching Tommy. You had heard something about a big tournament coming up of which you did know much but you had noticed the hype that had been in the air since then.

True to yourself, you weren’t looking around you. Your eyes were fixed on the piece of paper in your hands where you had written the client’s requests, rehearsing what you were going to say when a loud noise of a crowd cheering and punches made you look up. 

There it was, Tommy and Maddog fighting in the right. Well, it was more like Tommy that was beating the shit out of Maddog than a proper fight. 

You were relatively new to violence, so the sight shocked you. Of course, working in a gym you would hear people throwing punches and whatnot but it was different than actually witnessing it with your eyes. Besides, the feral fury with which Tommy was kicking and punching him actually scared you. 

How was he capable of such violence? Was he really that evil? Or was it just a cathartic release of unprocessed anger and hurt? 

You didn’t know his story so you didn’t want to be unfair and judge him but you would be lying if you said that you didn’t shiver and hurried to get out of his way when he stormed off the ring.

Did you actually think he could hurt you? No, but that level of anger buckled up in a young man’s body was not healthy nor safe. And you heard the news so you wouldn’t risk it. 

At that moment you didn’t think that he noticed your fear, being too hyped up for the fight. But that was something that you didn’t know about him and that you would soon start to love: Tommy was always very mindful of his surroundings and the people around him. So yes, he did notice the way you shivered in fear and the sight actually upset him. Thinking that he could be the reason for a woman’s fear just like his father was his mother’s. 

Again, he tried to make it better. Or at least started to think about a way to. 

One night, James had asked you the favour of closing up in his place. He had told you something about a girl and knowing that you certainly didn’t have any plans you agreed. Although, the moment you noticed that the only one left waa Tommy you started to regret ever saying yes. 

Again, he noticed the way you carefully approached him and he didn’t like it one bit when he noticed the nervousness in your eyes just because you had to talk to him. Maybe another guy would have been smooth about it, thinking that it was because he was half-naked and all. And maybe a little part of you was intimidated by the nakedness and the beauty of his body but the bigger part feared a violent outburst from him. 

“Uhm, sorry Tommy but I’m afraid I have to close the gym.” you weakly told him. He didn’t answer you and for a moment you wondered if had heard you at all but after throwing the last punch he nodded toward you and walked toward the changing room. Hoping he would be quick, you did everything your cousin told you to do and waited for him at your desk. Fortunately, he didn’t take long and after twenty minutes-ish he was standing next to you. 

Turning off the lights and locking the door you turned ready to make your way home when Tommy’s presence startled you. You thought that he had already walked away. 

“Oh sorry, I thought you had already gone,” you said trying to make up for the surprise on your face when you saw. Wouldn’t want him to think that his face scared you. He was actually very handsome, you noted now that you had the opportunity to look at him up close. 

“ Do you have a car?” he asked bluntly not even acknowledging your words

“Nope, I came on foot. My house isn’t that far from here,” you explained not sure if he was asking how you were going to get home or if you could give him a ride

“You can’t walk around at this time of the hour on your own, it’s dangerous.” he scolded you much to your surprise. When did you go from barely acknowledging each other to him scolding you? 

“I’m sorry but since when do you care about me? We don’t know each other.” you pointed out, your usual shyness leaving place for anger

“Come, I’ll walk you home.” he offers not bothering, again to answer you

“You do know that I don’t know you and that you’re as good as any stranger on the street right now, don’t you?” Just because you went to the same gym you worked in, doesn’t mean that he’s trustworthy. Not to mention his anger outbursts. 

“I know what you saw okay? But that has nothing to do with you. I would never hurt you.” he said sighing knowing very well that his fight with Maddog had affected you greatly. These were pretty much words that every potential rapist would say, you’re aware of that. However, that was something in his eyes and in the way that he wasn’t invading your personal space that proved he was genuine. 

“I don’t even know your name.” you weakly protest but you had pretty much caved and he knew that

“I’m Tommy. And you are?" 

"My name’s y/n, nice to meet you Tommy.” you smiled at him, accepting his offer of walking you home. 

And that was the first time of many that Tommy had walked you home and one of your very first interaction.

Part 2

[jasons-exposedspine]

My Way Out chapter 2

Summary: Negan and Reagan have dinner and drink a little bit of whiskey together.

Warnings: Language cuz its fucking Negan, flirting i mean a little.

Characters: Negan x Reagan MY OC

Authors note: i’m sorry it took me soo fucking long to upload this its just a lot of things are happening in my fucking life right now. if you absolutely fucking hate this story i get it i fucking suck at writing. but i know what i am going to do for this story and its kind of a fast burn story.

Reagan had a shower and put on an oversized black shirt and a pair of lacy black panties, she left her long black hair out so it could dry after she washed it. There came a loud knocking at the door, Reagan walked over to the door and opened it. Negan was standing in front of her with two plates of spaghetti, Reagan didn’t care if he saw her in her panties. “I thought we could have dinner together if that’s ok with you.” “Yeah puddin come in i don’t fucking care” Negan walked past her and put the plates down on the table. Reagan sat at the table across from Negan and began to eat the spaghetti, she made Negan feel a feeling that he hadn’t felt since Lucille. 

Negan didn’t like this feeling so he was going to avoid it for as long as he could. “This is really fucking good did you make it?” Negan smirked at her “yeah Darlin i made it, i’m glad you fucking like it.” Reagan shook her head “don’t think we are going to be best fucking friends or anything and don’t get your hopes up for anything more than that.” “Darlin i know you would cut my fucking dick off if i tried anything so i am not unless you want me to.” 

Reagan chuckled and brushed her dark hair behind her ear, “well i might not puddin if you be nice enough to me i’ll think about us being friends.” “Alright sweetheart i want us to be friends”, after they ate Reagan did the dishes and put them on the table. Reagan yawned, she turned to Negan sitting on the couch “alright puddin i’m going to sleep if you don’t mind getting the fuck out of my room.” Negan got off the couch and grabbed the two plates from the table, “Alright princess.” Reagan walked over and went to hit him, “ok, ok i won’t call you that i’ll fucking go” Negan walked out the door and Reagan closed it behind him. Reagan smiled and turned the light off and walked over to her bed, she was fast asleep within minutes.

 It was two am in the morning and Reagan woke up to a nightmare covered in sweat and breathing hard. She got out of bed and walked over to her black bag on the couch and took out her pack of cigarettes and her lighter. She opened the door and walked down the hall to a door that lead to a balcony, she lit a cigarette and put it in her mouth. While she was blowing smoke she thought about Negan, he had made her laugh for the first time in a long time. She also thought about how he made her dinner, Reagan put the smoke out and walked back down the hall. One of the saviours walked in front of her and stopped her in her tracks. “Come on Darlin you wanna come into my room and have some fun” Reagan tried to get past him but he grasped her wrist tightly. “No asshole” he stroked her cheek, “oh come on sweetheart it’ll be real fun you will enjoy it.” Reagan went to punch him put he grasped her throat and pushed against the wall. 

He strangled her hard, he shoved her panties down her legs, but before he could do anything there came a large bang on the wall. “Hey she said no and she fucking meant it”, Negan walked down the hall with Lucille over his shoulder. “You know rape is against the fucking rules yet you break the fucking rules, i can’t have that.” He let go of Reagan’s throat, she took in a deep breath and pulled her panties up, “i’m sorry sir i won’t happen again.” Negan grinned devilishly, “oh i know it fucking won’t i’ll get the others to chain you to the fence.” Reagan walked over to him, “no Negan i want to do it my fucking self” Negan smiled at her “suit yourself Darlin.” Reagan walked to her room and grabbed up Damien, she put her jeans on and walked down the hall, down the stairs and into the courtyard outside. The sky was still dark and the walkers moans carried in the wind. Negan was next to the rapist and smirked at her, she swung her bat and hit him over the knees.

He fell to the floor, “no please, please don’t” he begged Reagan laughed “begging is only going to make it fucking worse.” Reagan hit him over the head with Damien, then she did it again and again and again and again. She kept hitting him until his brains were scrambled, blood was splattered all over her face, arms and legs. Negan had never seen someone exactly like him in a long time, his feelings were starting to grow for her. Reagan looked up at Negan and licked the blood off of her lips, it felt good taking her anger and pain out on someone like that. Blood was dripping from the bat along with brain matter and hair, Reagan was breathing heavily. “Come on Reagan let’s get you fucking cleaned up”, she followed him up to his room. 

Reagan had a shower and walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a fluffy white towel. Negan was sitting on his couch, he looked over at her, so many dirty thoughts were going through his mind. Reagan had took a pair of lacy black panties from her room and put them on under the towel. “Puddin do you have something i could wear just for now?” Negan walked over to the chest of drawers in the corner. He opened the first drawer and took out one of his white t-shirts and handed to her.

Negan turned around to give her some privacy, Reagan took off her towel and put on the shirt Negan had given her. “You can turn around now plus i wouldn’t of fucking cared if you saw me” Negan turned around to face her. Negan moved closer to her “you should care because evil bastards like that fucker that you killed can take you and fucking sexually torture you.” Negan shuddered at the thought he was strongly against rape and he didn’t want to picture someone raping the girl that he was falling for. Reagan was starting to realise what a sweetheart Negan was, “well i do like it rough puddin.” Reagan was teasing him and she wanted to drive him crazy, 

“oh don’t worry Darlin i am fucking rough.” Reagan closed the gap between them and grasped his hard dick through his jeans “you fucking wish daddy.” Negan had utter need in his eyes, they had only known each other for a day but he was falling for her quickly. Reagan let go of his dick and bit her lip “hey um can i sleep in here just…i don’t want to be alone.” Negan smiled down at her “of fucking coarse Darlin i just have to make sure Simon and Dwight fed that bastards body to the dead pricks.” Reagan nodded and watched him walk out of the room shutting the door behind him, Reagan looked at the clock on his bedside table.

The clock read three o’clock she lied on Negan’s bed and she fell asleep, Negan came back in to the room. He looked over at his bed and saw her fast asleep, he smiled and walked over to left side of his bed. He put Lucille against the head board and lied down next to Reagan but didn’t touch her. He pulled the blanket over them both and turned facing her back, he sighed quietly and closed his eyes. Reagan woke up the next morning, her arm was around Negan’s waist and her leg was over his. Reagan let go of his waist and moved her leg off of his, she sat on the edge of the bed, it did feel nice having someone to cuddle with in bed. “It’s ok Darlin i won’t fucking take this as a sign” Reagan looked over her shoulder at him. 

“Good” she stood up and walked over to the door and left the room, she walked down to her room and shut the door behind her. She got dressed into a pair of jeans, a black shirt untucked, black combat boots with red roses on them and her hair in braids. As she was tying her laces she heard a loud knock at the door, she walked over to the door and opened it. Standing there was Negan smiling at her, “hey Reagan i was wondering if you wanted to have some dinner with me in the marketplace tonight.” “I mean you don’t fucking have to if you don’t want to” she smirked at him. “Ok puddin you’ve got yourself a fucking date what time?” Negan wet his bottom lip.

 “Let’s say around about six thirty sound fucking good to you?” she smiled at him “yeah puddin sounds good i’ll see you then.” Negan turned on his heel swinging Lucille over his shoulder as he turned the corner down the hall. Reagan closed the door behind her, she leaned her back against the door. “You stupid bitch what are you doing? he is your enemy not your friend, your friends are back at Alexandria.” 

But there was a part of her that was starting to like him, he liked her even a blind man could see that. But she knew she could never love anyone again right? then she thought maybe she could make him weak. Find out his weaknesses and his strengths to strike when the time was right, but a part of her thought otherwise. He had been nice to her and had given her a chance, maybe a date was a good idea. Her husband had told her before he died to move on to find someone that made her happy and that would protect her.

 A part of Reagan knew that he was right she had to move on but could she? maybe she could. Reagan also knew that Negan was suffering the same pain that she was and she knew that after a while a person becomes numb from that pain. Negan thought about how Reagan resembled his Lucille, a beautiful woman with an attitude. But he also saw Reagan for Reagan not just Lucille, maybe she looked like her but she wasn’t her. 

As Reagan lied on her bed she thought about what she was going to wear even though she knew she had nothing to wear. So she thought that she would wear what she was already wearing but she would do her hair in braids. She looked over at the clock beside her bed and it read five thirty “shit time flies” she whispered to herself. Reagan stood up from the bed and walked over to the on suite on the left side of the room. She reached around the wall and flipped on the light, she walked slowly over to the shower block. She opened the glass shower door and turned on the faucets. 

She took off her shirt and threw to the floor she did the same with her jeans, panties and her bra. The water ran hot with was the perfect temperature for her so she got into the shower and closed the glass door. She sighed as the water ran over her skin, it had been a long time since she had a shower that hot. Reagan didn’t wash her hair but she stood under the shower for a good thirty minutes. She finally turned off the shower and opened the now fogged up glass door of the shower. 

The mirror above the sink was fogged up as well, Reagan took the white towel off the hook on the back of the door. She wiped herself dry and picked up her clothes from the floor and opened the bathroom door. She turned off the light and walked over to the couch that was near the curtain draped windows. She unzipped her bag and took out a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra, she put them on and put her jeans and t-shirt back on. She took out her hairbrush and walked back into the bathroom and did her hair in two braids into a ponytail. 

She then sat on the couch and put a pair of socks on and put on her black combat boots, once she laced them up she walked over to her bed head. She put her sword on her back and she picked up Damien, when she looked over at the clock there came a soft knock at the door. She walked to the door and turned the knob and pulled it towards her, Negan stood before her. In his jeans, a white t-shirt, his leather jacket unzipped and holding Lucille over his shoulder. Negan grinned widely at her, his dimples sucking in, “you ready?” Reagan smirked at him and nodded. “You look fucking awesome by the way” his voice echoing off the walls as they walked side by side down the dimly lit hall.

Reagan felt her cheeks blush slightly at his comment “Negan i thought we were going to the marketplace for dinner.?” They were walking down the hall to Negan’s room, “i fucking cooked dinner for us both plus the marketplace is a little over crowded.” As they reached the dark wooden doors of Negan’s quarters he opened one of the doors and gestured for Reagan to go in first. As she walked in she could smell the tomato from the pasta sauce that was mixed with garlic. Reagan looked over near the black leather couch and there was a dark wooden table in the middle of the room. 

There were two plates of spaghetti on either side of the table. Negan closed the door softly and set Lucille down on the couch, Reagan put Damien on the couch near Lucille. She then walked over to the table and hung her sword on the back of the wooden chair. “You like whiskey Reagan?” he asked as he walked over to a cherrywood cabinet. “Yeah i do” she said as he bent down and opened the cabinet door and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. 

He then pulled out two glasses and walked over to the table, he put the glasses down on the table. Reagan sat down at the table as Negan unscrewed the cap of the bottle and poured some of the honey coloured liquor into one of the glasses. He walked over to the side of the table Reagan was sitting on and held out the glass. As she took the glass her hand lightly touched his making her blush slightly. He smiled at her his dimples sucking in “you think i can’t fucking see you blushing Darlin.?”

Negan poured himself a glass of whiskey before he sat at the table he unzipped his jacket exposing his white t-shirt. She started to eat the spaghetti as soon as she put it into her mouth she closed her eyes. “God this is good” she said opening her eyes and smiling over at him. Negan smiled a toothy grin “well it is my fucking signature dish Reagan” She looked at him with a smirk. 

“You can call me Rae most of my friends do” she brushed a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “Oh so we’re fucking friends now are we?” he chuckled lightly, “yeah i guess we are” she said scrunching her nose. She took a quick nip from her glass of whiskey and went back to eating her dinner and she loved it like it was the first time she had tried it. “Is it ok if i call you puddin?” Reagan asked sweetly “yeah that’s fucking fine with me sugar” Negan replied smiling at her. They had both eaten their dinner rather quickly and had polished down the whiskey. 

They had both moved over to the couch and they began passing the whiskey bottle between them. Reagan had taken off her boots and was in her socks and Negan had taken his boots off. They began talking about their lives before “what was your job?” Reagan asked after taking a swing of whiskey and handing the bottle to Negan. “I was a coach at a high school what about you?.” “I had three jobs i was a waitress, a bartender and to get extra money i was a stripper. But i quit that job after i met my husband but i will save my sad story for when i trust you more.” He took a swing from the whiskey bottle “I won’t tell you my sad story for the same reasons we have a deal?.” 

Reagan rolled her eyes at him and smiled “ok deal” he handed her the bottle. “If anyone fucking harasses you you fucking tell me” Reagan laughed lightly. “I can handle myself i don’t need anyone protecting me especially you.” He looked at her with a serious expression “i know you can handle your fucking self but sometimes a man may be stronger than you think.” 

“Ok, but Negan why would you want to protect me i only met you yesterday” he chuckled lightly. “Because i like ya i think you are cool as fucking shit at least you aren’t like my wives who complain all the fucking time.” Reagan didn’t think this man to be so sweet she expected him to take what he wanted from her or make her a wife. She thought a man like him would kill her or lock her in a cell like Daryl and she was having second thoughts about using him. What could’ve driven a man to kill her friends and be the man he was. 

Then she remembered his bat, Lucille was his wife perhaps the pain of her death caused him to become what he was. Negan put the whiskey bottle down on the glass coffee table and got up from the couch. “Come on Darlin i‘ll take you to your room because you look fucking tired as shit.” Reagan got up from the couch and walked past him and took her sword off of the back of the chair and put it on her back. She also picked up her boots from the carpet.

LIKE AND REBLOG FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Vampire AU: You’re a hunter trying to catch them

Namjoon

After nearly a year of Namjoon trying to kill you, and you trying to kill him he had finally got the upper hand on you. He was standing behind you with his lips against your neck, and your wrists tightly held together with his hands and you were pressed against a wall. You couldn’t move.

“Looks like I win y/n. It’s been fun. But I think it’s time we end this little game wouldn’t you say?” 

“You’re not going to kill me Namjoon.”  You laugh at him and he pulls away from you, confused.

“And why don’t you seem to think so?” 

“After following you for a year I know your history. You’ve been alive for hundreds of years. You’ve grown quite bored. Me chasing you is the only exciting thing that has happened in your life recently. I am the only one who has ever gotten close enough to kill you. You like the thrill. If you kill me what’s going to be left for you? A lonely, boring existence that’s what.” He suddenly lets go of you and spins you around to face him.

“How the hell could you read me so easily?”

“It’s part of my job Namjoon. To read people, read situations. I know you like the back of my hand now.” 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or creeped out.” You can’t help but laugh at his comment and he takes another step away from you further. You brush the wrinkles out of your clothes and pick your weapon up off the ground.

“It’s alright Namjoon. I’m in the same mindset as you. I won’t kill you because you’re the only entertainment I have in my life too. So I guess I’ll be seeing you around. Bye for now Joonie!” He stares after you in shock. He certainly is going to have his hands full with you, and he isn’t sure that he really minds that fact. 

Jin

Jin had been trying to kill you ever since you hunted and killed his best friend. Jin wasn’t necessarily a bad vampire, he only killed when he absolutely needed to feed. And he never killed innocent people. You didn’t want to kill him, his friend was another story. There was a reason he got the nickname The Ripper. He killed people without mercy. However Jin’s chase had finally ended. He had his hands tightly around your throat and was planning on making you suffer, just as you made his friend suffer. When your eyes started to glaze over however he let go. You dropped to the ground and started coughing heavily. 

“Shit. What the fuck is wrong with me why can’t I kill you?!” You’re still gasping for breath as he’s pacing around trying to work through his internal crisis. “You killed my best friend. I should be able to.. but. God I just can’t.” 

After a few more deep breaths you try to speak, your voice is hoarse but you know he can still hear you.

“Because you’re not a bad person Jin. And I think you know deep down in your heart that your friend was an awful monster. He killed people without remorse, without any reason. But you’re not like that. Society might label you a monster, but I know better.” You try to stand up but you’re still feeling quite weak and you collapse back on the ground. Jin comes over to you and grabs your hand to help pull you up. Your legs are a little shaky, but you manage to stay upright while leaning against the building next to you. 

“I could still do it you know. I can work myself up to kill you. You deserve it for what you did.” 

“Maybe I do. But I think we both know this conversation is pointless because you aren’t going to kill me. That’s not who you are Jin.” You start to walk away from him and you swear you hear him mutter an apology under his breath.

You turn over your shoulder and smile at him. “Bye, Jin. I’m not going to kill anymore of your friends so long as you keep them in check. This is your only warning.”

Yoongi

You had been after Yoongi for 2 years now. Ever since he killed your parents you had made it your life’s mission to avenge them. But now that he was in your grasp you just couldn’t bring yourself to kill him, which pissed you off to no end. You had hunted him in the day time and finally found where he hid out. He couldn’t leave the building as the sun was still high in the sky. You quite literally had backed him into a corner. There was no fear, no anger on his face. He looked completely impassive. 

“Why are you hesitating? Just kill me already and get it over with. That’s what you want right?” You grip tightens on the stake and you push it further into his chest causing him to wince. 

“Oh I plan on it, trust me.” 

“Then what are you waiting for? And why is your hand shaking?” You don’t say anything, you just stare at him menacingly trying to will your body to do what you have been waiting for the past two years.

“I think you don’t want to kill me. Because you know what? After you kill me what’s going to be left for you? You like the chase. You like the thrill of it. Face it prince(ss) without me your life has no meaning.” Your grip loosens on the weapon and he takes your moment of hesitation to knock it out of your had and pin you against the wall now. You feel his breath ghost over your neck, and you think for sure he is going to kill you but he doesn’t. He just laughs and pulls away.

“Well, running away from you is the most thrilling part of my life too so I am not going to kill you either. Guess I’ll be seeing you around y/n.” 

Hoseok

It should be easy for you to kill Hoseok. You’ve been hunting him for months. During your chases he always had some sort of witty banter to throw your way and although you hate to it admit, you actually kind of liked him. His incessant flirting even when you were trying to kill him made you think he was nuts, but then again you did always have a thing for crazy. You tried not to let your stupid feelings get in the way, but now that you had trapped him in an alley with nowhere for him to go, you just couldn’t bring yourself to kill him. 

“Hmm what’s this? The hunter doesn’t want to give up the chase? Or is it that you’ve grown fond of me too, angel?” You stare at him with your mouth agape.

“What do you mean, too?”

“Oh come on I thought I’ve made it pretty obvious that I’ve been flirting with you this whole time.”

“Hoseok I have literally been trying to kill you for months what the fuck is wrong with you?” He walks closer to you and places his hand on your face.

“I know you’re not going to kill me. Because you like me too just admit it. This whole ‘badass vampire killer’ image you try to portray is a lie. You don’t have it in you to kill me. You like the thrill. You like the idea of being with someone who could kill you without giving it a second thought because you’re fucked up just like me, love.” He grabs for the stake in your hand and you let him toss it away.

“Let’s say we quit lying to ourselves hmm?” Fuck he’s right. And you can’t lie to yourself anymore. You finally close the distance between you two and press your lips to his. The moment is over all too soon and Hoseok starts to walk away from you.

“Hoseok? Where are you going?” 

“You didn’t actually think I was going to let you get me that easily did you? If you want me you’re going to have to keep up the chase babe.” All it takes is for you to blink and then he’s gone. You will your heart to calm down and curse yourself for allowing your feelings to get in the way of your job. If he kills another person that’s going to be on your conscious. Next time. You tell yourself, next time you’re not going to let him just get away. 

Jimin

You had been hunting Jimin for months. However he always managed to just slip out of your grasp right when you thought you had him. Now however, there was no escape for him. You literally had him backed into an alley, your modified cross bow with a wooden stake aimed right at his heart. You approached him, pressing your weapon right into his chest. You thought you were so ready to kill him. You’d heard stories about the infamous vampire Park Jimin. How many people he’d killed, how many people he’d hurt. But now that he is standing right in front of you, you’re hesitating. You press the bow further into his chest to try and convince yourself that this was the right thing, until you looked up and met his gaze.

He look terrified, defeated, maybe even a little sad. When he let out a whimper you instantly dropped your weapon. He stares at you in shock.

“Y-you’re not going to kill me?” His voice is trembling as he speaks to you.

“I.. I can’t. I can’t do it. Gosh what is wrong with me?!” You kick your bow into the wall and sit down on the ground. 

“Why? You’re a hunter.. You’re supposed to kill me aren’t you?”

“You don’t look like the evil monster everyone is making you out to be. You just look so.. innocent.” Jimin let’s out a sigh of relief.

“Look, I know the stories people are saying about me. But believe me, I only kill people who deserve it. Criminals, rapists, murderers. I would never kill an innocent civilian. I’m not the monster everyone thinks I am.” He drops onto the ground and sits in front of you, placing a comforting hand on your leg. It’s warm to your surprise. You figured he would be cold as ice.

“I’ve been hunting you for months..”

“And I’ve been running away from you for months. If we would have just sat down and talked like we are now we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble ya know?” You laugh at his comment.

“Yeah Jimin, I guess you’re right.”

Taehyung

You and Taehyung had been playing this game of cat and mouse for months. You hunting him, him getting the upper hand and chasing after you. It was getting quite tiresome and you were ready to just end his life so he could quit being such a menace in yours. You saw him duck down a side street and you quickly chased after him, wooden stake in hand. When you turned the corner however you were surprised to see no one there. You turned around quickly when you felt a presence behind you but it was too late. Taehyung had you pinned to the ground, his hands tightly holding your wrist as he stares at you with a murderous gaze in his eyes. It was over. You knew you had lost, and now you were terrified. 

“Let’s say we end this little game now, yeah? I’m tired of you chasing me. I’m tired of chasing you. So, any last words you want to say to me before I end your life?”

“Please.. don’t.” You knew you were at a risk of dying everyday with your current occupation, but now that you were staring death in the face you were terrified. You never thought yourself to be the type to beg for your life but here you are. Begging for Kim Taehyung, notorious vampire serial killer to spare you. He stares at you in shock and loosens his grip on your wrist.

“What the hell kind of game are you playing at? You want me to spare you? So what, you can take that stake and drive it through my heart when I turn my back on you?”

“No. I swear I won’t. I won’t come after you anymore I promise just please.. don’t kill me.” You see his gaze soften for a fraction of a second as he lets go of you completely.

“Well this is no fun for me at all. I thought you were going to at least have a little bit of fight in you but you’ve just given up. Are you that afraid of me?” You don’t say anything just continue to stare at him.

“Fine. I’ll let you go this time. But if you come after me, or any of my friends again, and I won’t hesitate to drain you of ever drop of your blood you hear me?” He pushes himself off the ground and starts walking away from you. You can only stare at his retreating form in shock and wonder why the hell he let you go. 

Jungkook

You wondered how the hell you ended up in your current situation. You were so careful. You thought for sure there was no way Jungkook had known you were following him. But here you are. With your back pressed up against a brick wall, a knife to your neck, and your stake pressed to his heart. 

“Are you going to kill me or not Jungkook? We’ve been at this game for a year now. Here I am finally in your grasp and you’re hesitating. Just get it over with already!” 

“I could say the same to you y/n! Why don’t you just push that stake the extra few inches and drive it through my heart. You’ve been trying to kill me for months and here I am right in front of you so just do it.” You stare at each other, neither of your gazes wavering. Suddenly Jungkook pulls away from you and drops the knife the floor. 

“Shit! Why can’t I just kill you? My mind is screaming at me to, but my body won’t react.” He runs his hands through is hair in frustration.

“Guess we’re at an impasse then. Because I can’t kill you either.” Jungkook laughs, but there isn’t any humor behind it.

“We’re both idiots. Wasting a year of our lives trying to kill each other. And now here we are both with the golden opportunity and we just can’t.” 

“I think.. I never wanted to kill you Jungkook I just felt like I had to because of my job you know? I’ve killed plenty of vampires but for some reason I just can’t kill you. Must be your big doe eyes and bunny smile you just look too innocent for me to kill.” You drop the stake out of your hand and begin to walk away when you feel a tight grip on your wrist.

“That kind of thinking could get you killed you know?” 

“I know. But it’s obviously not going to be by you, so I guess I live to fight another day. See you around Jungkook.”

[lovemesomerafael]

It’s Complicated                        Chapter 8:  Reorientation

Source:  @yunafire

Chapters 1-5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7   Read on AO3

It was late when Mike Dodds showed up at Forlini’s.  By then, Fin and Carisi had already left and Amanda was getting ready to head home herself, but she stayed to have a last drink, not wanting to leave just as Dodds arrived.  He worked too hard, and he had a thing about not getting too social with the detectives, trying to maintain an appropriate distance since he was their Sergeant.  Amanda thought that was crap; Olivia socialized with them, after all, so she bought him a shot of tequila to go with his beer.

The conversation was typical Friday night, several-drinks-in fare, and it was exactly what Dodds needed to clear work from his head. Especially with these women, who flirted tipsily with him and were primed to laugh at his jokes.  Amanda did excuse herself after she finished her last drink, though, leaving Frankie and Mike at the table.

“You want another one?”

“I don’t know, Mike, I’m kinda lit already.”  Frankie made a face.  

“C’mon.  I just got here.”

“Oh, what the hell.  I’ll just switch to beer.  I’m buying.”

When she returned with their drinks, she looked just a bit too long out the window.  Dodds was not only a trained detective, he was also naturally intuitive.  The look on her face didn’t escape him.

“What was that?”  He asked, clinking his beer glass with hers.

“What was what?”

“That look.  You see someone out on the street?”

“Mike.  Clock out already.  You are done Sergeant-ing for the day.”

Dodds laughed.  “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrogate you. But I actually have been meaning to check in with you.  About Canady, and everything that happened.  How you doin’ with all that?”

Frankie’s eyes took on a speculative look.  “I think I’m OK.  My life is back to normal, and I haven’t had a prison dream in a while. And I didn’t realize until he was dead how often I was worrying about Alan finding me.  So, you know… I think I’m good.”

“Glad to hear it.  Sorry I had to be the one to arrest you.”

“Stop apologizing for that.  It was your job, and you couldn’t have been nicer about it.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure there are women who dream about you handcuffing them, Sergeant.”  

Dodds’ face twisted into a wry grin of sorts.  “Well, I’m afraid they’re gonna have to go on dreaming.”

Frankie tried to keep her face impassive.  “Oh?  Rather handcuff men, would you?”

“Not into handcuffing at all, to tell you the truth, but yeah. If there’s handcuffing to be done, I’d prefer it be male.”

Frankie smiled and clinked her glass with his.  “Gotcha.”

“You surprised?”

She shrugged.  “I hadn’t thought about it.  OK, that’s a lie, I noticed you’re pretty, um…”  she waved her hand up and down to indicate him.  “What’s the professional way to say ‘sexy’?  So I might be just a little disappointed.  But I can’t say I blame you.  I like dick, too.”

Dodds almost spit out his beer at that.

“Oh, shit.  I must be drunker than I thought.  Sorry about that, Mike.  Sometimes my mouth tries to kill me.”

He swallowed and laughed.  “No, don’t be sorry, that may be the best response I’ve ever gotten after coming out to a woman.”  

“So, obvious next question.  Are you dating anyone?”

“Not currently, no.  Which explains why I’m sitting here with you at ten O’clock on a Friday night.”

“Wow.  That hurt.”

“No – that came out wrong.  I just meant-“

Frankie laughed and put a hand on Mike’s arm.  “I’m just giving you shit.  I’m the wrong flavor.  I get it.”

“But you are Barba’s flavor, and I gotta ask about that.  I thought the two of you had a thing going.”

“For a grand total of one minute.”

“Bullshit.  I see the way you look at eachother.  And don’t even try to tell me all that yelling isn’t foreplay.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, Sergeant.  I mean, yeah, he’s attractive enough, but we have a fundamental… difference of… opinion…”

Frankie’s voice trailed off and she gazed, eyes unfocused, at the tablecloth.  

“About?”

Her mind had suddenly been pulled back to Rafe’s hand injury.  She wasn’t going to share her suspicion with Dodds, but she was just drunk enough to take the opportunity to unburden herself a bit.  “Well, it’s…” She looked up at him and leaned in. “Can I talk to you about something sort of personal?  Confidentially?”

“The doctor is in.  Did you want to lie down on the couch, or…?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…  Everybody’s a comedian.  So the thing is, Barba thinks I did something to get Juwon Jefferson – you remember, the tweaker kid?  Barba thinks I got him to say Alan was the Pattern 20 rapist and that he killed himself.”

“What, Barba thinks you killed Canady?”

“No, he says he believes me about that, but he thinks it’s awfully convenient that Jefferson suddenly started cooperating.”

“And?”

“What do you mean, ‘And”?  Barba thinks I tampered with a witness.”

“He thinks Jefferson lied?”

“I don’t know, exactly.  But he thinks whatever he said, I put him up to it.”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Then who gives a fuck what Barba thinks?”

“I do.  That’s the problem.  I… Mike, I could really care for him. In fact, in vino veritas, I do really care for him.   But I can’t have him thinking I did something like that.”

“Something like what?  Frankie, seriously, let’s say you did – I don’t know – bribe Jefferson, or threaten him with something if he didn’t come clean.  Hell, let’s even say you got him to lie.  As long as you didn’t kill Canady – and you didn’t - so what?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?”  

“Dead serious.”

“It would be OK with you if I bribed a witness to lie for me.”

“In this case?  Yes.”

Frankie gaped at him, incredulous.

“Oh, grow the hell up, Doc.  I might not even be all that upset if you were the one who offed the guy. You’re from Texas, right?  What is it they say, ‘He needed killin’?”  

“You are honestly telling me…”

“Look, I don’t know, all right?  I’m feeling that tequila, maybe in the cold light of day I would have a problem with you actually killing the guy.  It would depend on the circumstances.  But as it stands, he did himself to frame you, and if Jefferson hadn’t backed you, it would’ve worked.  That, I definitely would have a problem with.”

“Shit, Dodds.  That’s basically what Barba said.”

“Then Barba’s right.”

“Listen, you gotta keep this between us, OK?  Don’t say anything about… how I feel about Barba.”

“I won’t.”

“In fact, you gotta give me some collateral.  Tell me something you don’t want anyone in the squad to know so I can blackmail you.”

“What was that phrase from the Cold War?  ‘Mutually assured destruction?’”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink.”

“Then let me tell you something about you that you don’t want anyone in the squad to know.  I’ve been sitting here multitasking, assimilating the idea of you being gay.  Suddenly your reluctance to socialize with us makes a little more sense.”

“Oh, shit.”

“It’s Carisi, isn’t it?”

“Fuck, Frankie, you could destroy me with that.”

“Of course I couldn’t.  Number one, I’m assuming you’ve never said or done anything about it.”

“Of course not!  He’s my subordinate and he’s straight as an arrow.”

“And number two, I’d never say a word.  Unless…”  She gave him a wildly overdone evil leer with a mustache twirl.

“You’re diabolical.”

“I’m not, actually, but please don’t say anything to Barba.”

“I won’t, but you should.  He’s into you.”

“A lot you know.  Right this minute, he’s ‘into’ the Chinese restaurant across the street with a blonde.”

“I knew you were looking at something out there!”

“Yeah, bully for me.  Next, I’ll be driving by his house at night, just hoping to get a glimpse of him, like a bad country song.”

“You could do that.  Or just fucking talk to the man.  I’m telling you, Frankie, you are the one making problems for the two of you.   You need to lighten up and see the world for what it is.”

“Shit, you’re practically quoting him.”

“Then maybe you should listen.  Because I know he’s waiting for you to make a move.”

“He’s waiting with a blonde, Mike.”

“So?  You’re here with me.”

“I think the blonde shares our preferences.”

“Again, so?”

“So I’m assuming he will be sharing leftovers with her in the morning.”

“Jeez, Frankie, how old are you?  So he fucks her.  So what?”  

“So I’m the jealous type.  That would be a problem for me.”

“Oh, come on.  Say I take you back to my place and fuck you stupid.  All weekend, even.  Is that going to change the way you feel about Barba?”

“Depends.  Are there handcuffs?”

Mike laughed loudly.  “I think in your profession, they call that ‘deflecting.’  Which means I win.  It’s the twenty-first century and we’re grown-ass adults, Frankie.  Let the blonde handcuff Barba all she wants. That isn’t gonna change the way he feels about you, and you shouldn’t let it change the way you feel about him.”

Frankie leaned back and shook her head.  “I’ll think about it,” she said, frowning.

“Do that.”

She brought her eyes back to Dodds and leaned in again.  “And you think about Carisi being straight. You may find he’s straight as a rainbow.”

“Shut up.”

“Yep.  I’ve seen some things.  And I can even find out for you, if you want.”

“He’d still be my subordinate.”

“I don’t want to know the details, Dodds,” Frankie winked.

“I meant that I’m his Sergeant.”

“I know what you meant,” she laughed.  “And I’m going to find out how he rolls.  Carefully, discreetly, and without even a hint of your name.  I’ll let you know.”

 *******************

“Hey, Snot-rocket!”

“You’re the snot-rocket, Snot-rocket.  How’s it going?”

“It’s good.  Got a bit of a squall comin’ through right now, which is messin’ with my plans for today, but life on a ranch, right?”

“Right.  So… how’s the hand?”  Frankie waited to see what Rafe would do with that question.  

As expected, his response was, “What hand?”

“I heard you had a couple of broken fingers, or sprained, or something.  Twisted them working on a fence?”  

“Oh, that.  That was a while ago, and it was nothin’.  They’re fine.”

“What happened, exactly?”

“Like you said, I twisted ‘em.  Workin’ on a fence.”  

“We have different definitions of the word, ‘exactly,’ Rafe.”

“What are you, interrogatin’ me?  Am I under arrest?”

“Hmmmm.  Defensive reaction.”

“Frankie, what are you gettin’ at?  I hurt my fingers.  BFD.”

“Well, it is a big fucking deal if you’re lying to me because you hurt them beating up Juwon Jefferson to get him to talk to the cops.”

There was a silence on the other end of the line.  

“Amanda tell you that?”

“No, you just did.  What the fuck, Rafe?  That’s witness tampering.  It’s illegal.  Stone could use it to re-file the charges!”

“He ain’t gonna do nothin’ if you don’t tell him.  Drop it, Frankie.  I mean it.  It’s over. You coulda been convicted of murder, and I wasn’t gonna let that sumbitch do you like that.  That’s all I got to say about that.”

“Rafe…”

“That’s all I got to say.  How’s Amanda doin’?”  

Nothing Frankie could say would get any more information out of her stubborn brother.

 ****************

Olivia was very surprised to see Frankie at her apartment door on a Saturday afternoon, but Porter wasn’t.  They’d been texting, and he hadn’t been able to put Frankie off. The most she would agree to was to wait until Noah’s naptime before coming over.  She was clearly upset.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“Thanks, Liv, I’d love some.”

Porter sat down on a chair across from the couch where Frankie sat. “All right, so what’s the emergency?”

“You avoided me after I got out of Riker’s.  I thought it was weird that I couldn’t get you to agree to a time to get together and talk about what happened with Alan, after all we’d been through.”

“And the fact that I was busy means I was avoiding you?”

“You were waiting for the bruises to heal.”  

Olivia handed Frankie a mug of coffee and sat next to her, an expectant look on her face as she looked at Porter.  

“You knew.”  

Olivia sighed.  “I knew Dean was in a fight the night Jefferson was brought in, and that he asked me not to mention it to anyone at NYPD.  But that’s all I knew.”

“Because you purposely didn’t ask any questions.”

“Best I could do.  And, if you want my advice, I’d recommend you don’t ask any questions, either.”

“So it’s true.  You-“

“Don’t say anything else, Frankie.”  Porter advised, leaning forward toward her.  “Just drop it, have some coffee.   We can talk all you want about Canady.  Let’s just not worry about Jefferson.”

Frankie drank deeply and thoughtfully.  Barba’s coffee was infinitely better than Liv’s.

“Am I that much of a child?”  She asked.

Liv took that one.  “Frankie, you know me.  You know how I do things.  Would you call me a child?”

“Of course not.”

“Then neither are you.  Now.  Would you call me… oh, I don’t know.  Crooked? A rogue cop?”

“Of course not.  You’re one of the most righteous cops I know.”

“Then listen to me.  I was one of the arresting officers in your case.  It was bad.  It was very bad.  Based on everything I’ve seen, I was scared for you.  So when I got the call about Jefferson, and he started to talk, I was relieved as hell.  And when Dean showed up with bruises that night, I didn’t ask any questions.  He’s an FBI agent.  He gets beat up.  I have no idea what happened to him, and neither do you.”

“What if Stone finds out?”

“Finds out what?  Finds out Dean’s an FBI agent who sometimes gets in fights on the job?  He already knows.”

“You know what I mean, Liv.”

“I know you’re drawing conclusions.  I know you have no idea what did or didn’t happen while you were in Riker’s.  And I know you should be grateful as all hell you’re not there now, and you should never think about it again.  That’s what I know.”

Frankie sighed and took another long drink of dreadful coffee.

“You want to talk about something else?”  Porter asked.  “Because we have some news.”

Benson and Porter’s engagement was the only topic of conversation for the rest of Frankie’s visit.  

 *********************

“Hey, Sonny, I need to ask your opinion on something.”

“Shoot, Doc.”

Sonny was sitting at his desk, searching online for a site on the dark web that had just turned up in a case.  Frankie sat on the edge of the desk nearby.  No one else happened to be in the squad room at the moment.  

“I have this cop friend.  He’s gay and he’s thinking about coming out to his team.  He wants to know what I think, and I haven’t been part of the NYPD for long enough to have a good sense of how that would go.  You’ve been around NYPD for a while, worked in some different houses, what would you tell him?”

“Depends on his unit.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.  Like, if he works Gangs, he should move to the back of the closet and hide behind the winter coats.  But some units are friendlier than that.  Where’s he work?”

“Until he comes out, I’d prefer not to say.  I trust you, I just don’t have his permission, you know?”

“Got it.  Well, since you’re that discreet, let me tell you somethin’.”  Sonny looked around to ensure their privacy.  “SVU’s about the most LGBTQ-friendly unit there is in the NYPD, right?  And even here, I publicly only date girls.”

“So you’re saying you’re bi, but you wouldn’t come out, even here.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’.”

“Well, thanks for the insight.  And the confidence.  It’s not misplaced.”

“I know.  And I’m out to Amanda, too, just so you know.”

“OK.”  Frankie said, then pretended to be struck by a thought.  “So listen, that being the case…  I heard something.  I need to thread the needle a little bit here, but…  Someone, a guy, told me that they’re interested in you, and he wanted to know if you were straight.  But he’s not out here, either.”

“Someone in SVU?  A guy? Is interested in me?”  

“I didn’t say he was in SVU,” Frankie said, noticing that Carisi’s eyes instantly went to Dodds’ desk.  “But he’s… around, and you know him.  I told him I didn’t know where you stood, but I’d find out.  I don’t know how to do this…  I wouldn’t out you to him, even with your permission.  It’s a rule I have.  But could I tell him he could trust you not to shoot him if he made his interest known?  Would that be OK?”

Sonny’s brow furrowed. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course.  And if you never mention it again, neither will I.”

“Cool.  Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Sonny worked for a while longer.  “Hey, this guy…  What’s he like?”

“Tens across the board.”

“Really?”

“Definitely.”

“OK.  You can tell him I won’t shoot him.  The rest is up to him.”

“Consider it done.”

 *********************

Frankie needed advice.  Well, that wasn’t exactly accurate.  She’d received quite a bit of advice on how to view what Porter and Rafe had done, all of it decidedly uniform.  But she was having a tough time accepting it.  She needed to talk to someone about it, and she didn’t know who to turn to. She respected and trusted the opinions she’d heard; it wasn’t that.  The problem was, she needed to talk to someone whom she knew had unimpeachable principles of right and wrong.  Actually, she would have loved to hear Peter Stone’s thoughts, but she would always be scared shitless of him.  Also, she preferred to stay out of prison.  Nikki?  No, she knew Nikki would say what everyone else said.  

And then she thought of George Huang.  

“Frankie!  What a nice surprise!  Or is it? You’re not calling to curse me for letting you get involved with SVU, are you?”

Frankie laughed.  She loved George.  Even the relaxing sound of his voice made her feel better.  “I’m not, but you could’ve warned me about Barba.”

“Ooh.  Sorry about that.  I guess I should’ve seen a little potential conflict there.  You remind me of each other.  Then again, maybe he’s good for you.  He’s the only person I can think of who could say ‘no’ to you and make it stick. I’m guessing you find that as attractive as you do annoying.”

“Get out of my head, Professor.  I’m not your student anymore.”  

“Listen, I was very sorry to hear about what you went through. With Canady.”

”Thanks, George.  And thanks for your emails.  I appreciate it.”

“How are you doing now?”

“Surprisingly well, actually.  It will probably turn out to be good for me, professionally, to have had that experience.  You know, maybe in ten, twenty years.”

Huang laughed softly.  “I’m glad to hear you’re OK.  I was worried.”

“Well, when I say I’m OK, that’s a bit relative.  There is something I need to work through.”

“That’s what you said in your text.  Your fifty minutes starts now.  I’m expensive, make them count.”

 *************

Carmen had been here before.  Janice Edwards was not the first woman who “just happened to stop by hoping to catch Mr. Barba” when he was in court, and ended up pumping Carmen for information about him.  She was, however, the first one who came bearing expensive coffee not for Mr. Barba, but for Carmen.  Carmen hoped Ms. Edwards was a bit less obvious with judges.  Ms. Edwards was perfectly aware that Mr. Barba had a hearing this afternoon; Carmen had heard him tell her about it not two hours before. Consummate professional that she was, Carmen sipped her coffee and smiled, despite the fact that she really wished Ms. Edwards was sitting in the chair next to her desk, rather than on her desk, leaning in as though they were the closest of friends.  

“I happened to see he had lunch with Bess Quinn yesterday.  Do they have a case together?”

“Not currently, no.”

“Oh?  What was the lunch about, then?”

This was not Carmen’s debut performance on this particular stage. “I’m not sure.  This suit is just beautiful.”

“Really?  When did she call to schedule it?”

“I’m not sure who scheduled it.  He just asked me to put it on his calendar.  Is this Alexander McQueen?”

Carmen thought she’d successfully answered all Ms. Edwards questions without actually saying anything when she started to talk about her suit.  Five minutes later, however, she found herself fielding more questions, this time about what Mr. Barba had done this past weekend. That was interesting, given that Carmen had made reservations for him and Ms. Edwards at Xiāngliào on Friday night.  But since Carmen knew nothing about what Mr. Barba had done over the weekend, she simply said so.  

“You know, between us girls, I think he’s seeing someone.  Is he seeing someone?”

“Not that I’m aware, Ms. Edwards.”

“Oh, you know you can call me Janice.  And you can tell me.  He’s not back with Bess Quinn, is he?”

“I couldn’t say.”  She also wouldn’t say that Mr. Barba – well, Carmen on Mr. Barba’s behalf - had sent Ms. Quinn flowers after their lunch, or that he had tickets to see an opera in French with Adrien St. George the next night. Carmen could understand Ms. Edwards’ curiosity.  Even for Mr. Barba, that was a lot of… socializing.

Carmen had to keep doing her job, even with Joyce Edwards in residence on her desk.  Excusing herself, she answered Mr. Barba’s private line and was annoyed – but undetectably so – to see Ms. Edwards leaning in to try to hear.

“I’ll give him the message,” Carmen said, purposely not using the caller’s name or writing anything down for Ms. Edwards to read. She wouldn’t forget to tell Mr. Barba that Dr. Rojas wanted to speak to him.  In fact, she’d been watching the two of them, and Carmen had some theories of her own about Mr. Barba’s social schedule.

 ***************

Frankie and Mike Dodds found themselves on the courthouse elevator together the following day.  

“Hey, Mike, that thing we talked about last Friday?”

“What thing?”

“I said I was going to get some information for you about that detective we talked about.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah.  I made a discreet inquiry.”

“And?”

“I am authorized to tell you that they will not shoot you if you make yourself known to them.”

“I have no idea what the hell that means.”

“It means you should pursue that line of investigation.”

“No shit.”

[bigskydreaming]

My kingdom for a fic where Dick just full on ignores the fuck out of every reservation, concern and condemnation Bruce has about Jason and his choices after his return, because like this is his brother, the only family member that’s ever come BACK from the dead after Dick’s lost them, and he’s not about to let anything get in the way of that, thanks. 

(But also in this AU Jason didn’t almost kill Tim, because that’s the one thing Dick wouldn’t easily be able to look past or forgive and still be in character, even for the sake of another brother, and its crazy to me that it doesn’t come up more as Dick being like, hey Jaybird, you are Valid for a lot of what you feel and are doing but you were NOT Valid for almost killing Timmy and I can be and am quite rightfully peeved at you for that like wtf bro).

Right, so here, Jason doesn’t do that, and literally everything else he does Dick is more than capable and willing to shrug and go oh is that it? And then blithely resume having a relationship with his little brother wherein they hang out and have movie nights and be obnoxiously competitive, with not a single fuck given about anyone else’s feelings that Dick should not be doing this. 

Meanwhile, the vein in Bruce’s forehead has grown so large its evolved its own consciousness and identity, its name is Vinnie, Vinnie the Vein, and Bruce and Vinnie are of one mind when they’re like “Richard John Grayson, I FORBID you from shenaniganning with your wayward brother until he has ceased his murder sprees.”

And Dick’s just like can’t stop, won’t stop, anyway love to stay and chat but I promised Jay I’d meet him in half an hour and I’m already running late, gotta go love ya lots, byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye.

Eventually Bruce really tries to put his foot down because its highly unlikely Jason will come in from the cold on Bruce’s terms if Dick keeps ‘enabling’ his brother, mostly because Jason’s not really out IN the cold in the first place as long as the brothers are hanging out, as they do, having a perfectly chill familial relationship whilst waiting for their father to get the hell over himself and also unclench long enough for Timbers to escape the inexorable magnetic pull that is Bruce’s Aura of Contagious Paranoia, and like...come join them on their brotherly outings, it’ll be fun.

And finally Bruce is all, Dick, you realize your brother is killing people, right? And Dick serenely is just like: “Oh is that what all the fuss is about? Gee, I thought it was all just a fight about the proper pronunciation of ‘gif.’ You know how out of control those can get. No shit Jason’s killing people. I’m aware. Also, I don’t care.”

Before Bruce can finish firing up his Righteous Indignation and Judgment and jump in there, Dick continues, ticking points off his fingers one at a time.

“One of my best friends is literally the daughter of Evil, and has on occasions, plural, been evil herself. I couldn’t care less. One of my best friends has a daughter with an internationally infamous assassin who has definitely tried to kill me multiple times, with this quite probably being a violation of some kind of Bro Code. I couldn’t care less. One of my best friends was possessed by evil spirits and did tons of terrible things right before he died and I couldn’t care less when visiting his grave, nor do I care that his dad, an even more internationally infamous assassin than Roy’s baby mama, and who has DEFINITELY tried to kill me multiple times, does lots of terrible things on the regular, both before and after we meet up for coffee every now and then to reminisce about Joey.” 

He comes up for air, refuels his tank, keeps going.

“One of my teammates is an identical duplicate of the former teammate who betrayed us all and almost got us all killed. Its weird and awkward but we make it work. Another one of my teammates was a killer robot that previously murdered one of my dearest friends. SUPER fucking awkward, but again, we made it work. Other things I give no fucks about: the rap sheets of any of my teammates on the Outsiders, the rap sheet of one of your star-crossed lovers, the body count of your other star-crossed lover. I mean sure, I’m a snarky asshole about it, but I’m a snarky asshole about butter pecan pie too. I don’t like, care care. Not like the way you cared about Huntress’ unwholesome methods before I was her booty call, and yet that too played no part in my decision making before I let her hit this. Half of your teammates decided to treat your memory like an Etch-a-Sketch once, but somehow you all managed to make nice again, but not until after the invasive spy satellite you made got hijacked and unleashed an army of killer robots that definitely did kill a metric fuck ton of people. Major Disaster and multiple other Justice Leaguers have done some Very Bad Things, Diana snapped a guy’s neck on candid camera and still isn’t sorry, you play chess every once and a while with a guy who spends half his time as a millennia old demon who has eaten entire fucking civilizations, and do not even get me started on Hal Jordan. Are you starting to see a point here, B?”

Bruce says nothing, but Vinnie the Vein has a shit poker face. Dick sighs.

“And you know what all of those people have in common, Bruce?”

Bruce bites. “What’s that?”

“None of them are my goddamn brother. So if I can figure out a way to coexist in the same sphere as all of that insanely hot mess, I can figure out a way to coexist with my brother, so long as I know and trust he’s still fighting the good fight. Which I do. Do I like that he kills people? No. Does he know that? Yes. Do we fight about it? Occasionally. But know who I’m not gonna let be the reason me and my miraculously back from the dead brother don’t meet up for Taco Tuesday night? A bunch of murderers and rapists, because I wish they were sitting in Cell Block D for the next sixty years instead of dead. End of the day, their lives just aren’t as important to me as my little brother’s, and that may make me all kinds of hypocritical, but I’ll give you three guesses what’s another thing I don’t give a shit about. Now you can go home and spend the night hanging out with your moral convictions, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather spend it hanging out with Jay. And if we’re all done here, buh-bye, I’m late and I wouldn’t want Jay to think I flaked and wasn’t coming, who knows, he might go out and kill people instead.”

And eventually Bruce too pulls his head out of his ass because he can be Unconditionally Moral or he can be Unconditionally Dad but he can’t unconditionally be both, and this was kinda a choice he was supposed to have made back when he first signed on the dotted line that supposedly meant his kids would no longer be pinballing through life looking for someone to unconditionally love and support them, because he was volunteering as tribute to do just that.

And finally Bruce makes nice, or at least actively less hostile, baby steps are sometimes required with superhero cryptid shaped a-holes, and then they all live dysfunctionally ever after. Periodically interrupted by one of them dying and the rest of them besieging Death’s door and banging obnoxiously on it and refusing to let her get any sleep whatsoever until she crankily says none of them are worth this aggravation and she’s not getting paid enough for this shit and tosses their recently deceased relative on their ass back on the mortal coil just to be rid of the annoying pests.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [later but still the same night clearly] Jimmy: Turn your location on, I need my jacket back Janis: fuck off, no you don't Jimmy: I wouldn't be chatting to you if I didn't Janis: it can wait Jimmy: it's freezing Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: so cold you need two jackets now Jimmy: unless you're offering to hug it out Janis: as much as I want you to suffer Janis: has your sister not put a key through for you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: are you gonna tell me where you are or what? Janis: I'd rather come to you Jimmy: go on then Janis: Where are you then Jimmy: [sends his location but lbr he's just walking] Janis: alright Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should go to the 24 hour tescos Janis: kill some time Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: what do you need? Janis: nothing, you idiot Janis: it's a tip Janis: 24 hour gyms are better but you'll need a membership usually Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll funnel my hard earned tips into that next time my dad decides to be a massive knobhead Janis: some of them ain't that pricey, one near the CG actually Jimmy: alright rich girl, I'm gonna stop you there Janis: it's like a fiver a month Janis: one pack of cigarettes less, not even Jimmy: you're not my real girlfriend, no need to have a chat about how I spend and save Janis: I'm giving you solutions Jimmy: give me my jacket Jimmy: nowt else Janis: free speech, init Janis: you dickhead Jimmy: you told me to stop talking to you a bit ago Janis: so Jimmy: so now you've got loads to say? Janis: I've always had plenty to say Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah Janis: sums your contribution up Jimmy: leave it out Janis: make me Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: death's already having a go standing here Janis: you wish Janis: actually so dramatic Jimmy: 💀😍💀 Janis: cute Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want a place to stay Jimmy: do you have any decent ideas? Janis: go to mine, I ain't gonna be there Janis: no one will be up Jimmy: Mia might Jimmy: evil never sleeps Janis: I don't think she's actually a rapist, like Janis: you'll be safe Jimmy: you're alright Janis: alright Janis: you got a shed Janis: sleep in that Jimmy: 😂 Janis: what Jimmy: just trying to picture your posh garden summer house, rich girl Jimmy: hang on Janis: yeah Janis: you've got no clue Jimmy: weren't searching for any Janis: then stop chatting shit Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you won't Janis: I've got enough people assuming things wrong Janis: I don't need you Janis: and I ain't assumed shit about you Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: you're such a fucking Janis: just shut up, I'm nearly there Jimmy: nah, go on Jimmy: say how you really feel Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: plenty on the tip of your tongue so you reckon Janis: so you can sit there and chat shit back Janis: yeah, no thanks Jimmy: it ain't shit just 'cause it ain't what you want me to say back Janis: nah, it's shit by your own admittance Janis: literally just said it Jimmy: now you're listening Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I've been listening Janis: what do you want Jimmy: when? Janis: when haven't I Janis: what are you talking about, go on Jimmy: don't end it like that, I'm not getting cheated on again Janis: I ain't doing anything tonight Jimmy: not what I asked or said Janis: fine Janis: I'll just look like the dick then yeah Jimmy: put it on me Jimmy: I'm too #highkey or whatever Janis: how is that better Janis: genuinely Jimmy: how is it better for me or how is it better for you? what's your question? Janis: for you Jimmy: how is it better than going through that shit again? Really? Janis: whether I cheat on you or dump you for being too nice, you're getting the same reaction regardless Janis: you wanna be the one who cheats but then I lose Janis: we've fucked it, best is we do it amicably and then we both lose, there's no way for us to both win and why should I let you Jimmy: I don't care about winning Janis: I can't promise you any outcome where they leave you alone Janis: that's the whole reason we were doing this Jimmy: I haven't lost my memory, like Janis: well I don't know what you want from me Jimmy: I got that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: just Janis: yeah Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: as you said, we've fucked it, we've gotta carry on Janis: we'll have to stop it eventually Jimmy: weren't planning on marrying you, Jodie Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you'll have to deal eventually, is what I'm saying Janis: we will, whatever Jimmy: we'll do a fake break up when we've planned it out, not when what you say goes 'cause you're fuming Janis: excuse you no Janis: it was you who fucking said it Jimmy: I said I don't want this Jimmy: I don't Janis: well you'll have to deal won't you Janis: decide what you want less Jimmy: you're so Janis: yeah, you hate mee Janis: whatever Jimmy: your ultimate kink that Janis: if it was I'd want you around Jimmy: who's walking to who? Janis: oh my god Janis: I don't need you freezing to death Janis: or getting lost, again Jimmy: stop pissing about then Jimmy: come here Janis: you've got some fucking nerve Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you aren't funny Jimmy: not tonight Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Janis: unnecessary Jimmy: I carry cash, it's you who don't Janis: see where trying to pay me gets you Janis: [showing up and throwing that jacket at him] Jimmy: [put your jacket on boy and shut your mouth] Janis: ['anything else?' not looking at him] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her and almost doing a cry cos that's the life you're living] Janis: ['are you sure-' not finishing that 'cos so many possibilities] Jimmy: [just gotta shake your head cos you're not sure about anything are you, big part of the problem here] Janis: [nods like yeah, 'look, we don't need to be mates but I ain't got any interest in hating you, alright? pointless so just, you know'] Jimmy: [take two of trying to give her a bottle, be less of a dick this time boy] Janis: [takes it 'cos as close to a peace offering as we're getting rn and does cheers motion as she takes a swig] Jimmy: [sitting on this random curb so casually I always had to do that if I was out playing] Janis: [sitting down too a little ways away] Jimmy: [having a moment with himself like don't cry, Katie Fitch style] Janis: [when you gently go for the jacket pocket and get out 🚬 and light it for him] Jimmy: [when you shouldn't look at her cos that's so nice - too nice lbr- but you do look at her cos she's right there and you can't not] Janis: [when you look back and lean in but then you gotta lean back like no 'cos you think that's not what he wants and you're trying to be a friend not friend and ugh] Jimmy: [trying not to look 💔 like this isn't your own fault, gdi Jimothy] Janis: ['it's okay' when you just want to be comforting even though it really isn't and you're like why did I say that] Jimmy: [when you laugh cos no its not but it's also not funny and that ain't helpful so well done, oh these two] Janis: [kicks him like you know what I mean, shh, this is weird we both know it 'okay, well, I'm sorry your dad's a dick, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi but it's too soft to really be that and we all know it 'he ain't sorry, why should you be?'] Janis: ['cos I'm dead nice, obviously' 😏 but shrugging like] Jimmy: [lols more genuinely] Janis: ['charming' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [putting an arm around her cos she's literally in a t-shirt now like don't die babe] Janis: [the nip situation would be outta control lmao fold your arms girl] Jimmy: [at least pretend that's not a thing boy, least you can do] Janis: ['It ain't a summer house, it's a barn but it is somewhere you can crash, it's converted, there's sofas and shit' 'cos not giving up] Jimmy: [gives her his oh we're still on this kinda look but also not mad cos when does anyone give this much of a fuck about him] Janis: ['Please'] Jimmy: ['Bus takes an age if it's even running early as I need to be on shift. It ain't gonna work' but she said please so obvs you're thinking about it and looking at her like] Janis: [pouting but actually so on the low 'cos you know that's fair and he probably doesn't want one of cali or the older sibs driving him so] Jimmy: ['help me get into mine if you've gotta do owt' cos lbr it wouldn't be hard there's probably a bathroom window open and a drainpipe/roof situation and such a #mood cos she's such an athlete so] Janis: 'I dunno, guardog is pretty fierce' ] Jimmy: [a real lol 'if you ain't up for the challenge, you ain't' gets up like well bye then but is 😏 and pulls her up on her feet too a literal second later anyway] Janis: [a faux-offended face like how dare you 'cos 'Course I am!' but then grins like let's go] Jimmy: [shrugs the jacket off and gives it to her like your turn babe cos they share everything it's facts 'here, you're gonna make me fall to my death if you don't cover up' because just can't ignore the nip situation like a gentleman can you lad] Janis: ['Knew the jacket was a blatant coverup but wouldn't have necessarily guessed you wanted me to break and enter for you' shakes head like honestly tut-tut but still not mad, even when she hits him like oi it ain't my fault I had to go dramatically stand in the rain 'I reckon I'll go in, find the keys then let you in the door, all offense meant to your... prowess' 😉] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well gotta keep you guessing and it's so flirty SOS but then pulls the hood up over her head playfully, messing her hair up, like oi don't be rude and so much 😏 goodbye] Janis: ['stop flirting with me' but we all know that means don't ever stop] Jimmy: ['or what?' literally eye fucking rn calm down] Janis: ['you know what'] Jimmy: [be more up in her everything at this moment jfc I can't with you sir don't do this to me] Janis: ['just, if it's gonna be-' when you can't do words] Jimmy: ['I just-' cos same but boy you gotta communicate I s2g I hate you] Janis: ['we don't have to do this tonight, now, yeah? none of it, like, there's time'] Jimmy: [when you can breathe because she really let you off the hook there so you gently drag her off towards your house like come on] Janis: [get it lads] Jimmy: [break in of the century, but we know it's gonna play out how she said cos lbr he's not pulling his weight here] Jimmy: [like he'd try and go up the drainpipe and slip and she'd be like um no boy down you get] Janis: [god bless boy, when you just in the doorway afterwards like all 👍?] Jimmy: [gotta love a sleepy Twix before she goes cray though cos heard 'em way to cockblock this bonding moment pup] Janis: [don't give 'em away traitor pup shh Jimmy: [giving her treats like behave thank you] Janis: [all whispering obvs 'cos not drunk af this time 'you should get another key cut he don't know about'] Jimmy: [when you can't hide how good of an idea you think that is cos tell your face and you were already impressed by her break in antics and we're dangerously close to 😍] Janis: [when you ain't even smug just smiling like a nerd 'cos you already know his dad ain't shit] Jimmy: [just in the kitchen from when you had to bribe Twix opening the fridge with a flourish like see anything you like cos will literally give her anything so she won't leave yet] Janis: [say by some miracle there's a slice of pizza left so she grabs that] Jimmy: [He's just making tea cos northern] Janis: [sneaking peeks honey] Jimmy: [he ain't asked her if she wants one he's just doing it, bit rude when you don't know if she likes tea never mind how] Janis: ['milk, 2 sugars' 😏] Jimmy: [does a OTT dramatic gasp like a nerd cos we gonna say they take their tea the same for the feels '#twinning, Gracie will be delighted'] Janis: [does a little lol, 'yeah, 'specially 'cos she don't drink a tea unless it promises to fix her skin and her love life for her, and tastes like shit, like'] Jimmy: [just grinning 'No dairy, like ever, OMG, I know' crossing his heart with an eye roll before carrying the tea to the lounge] Janis: [getting comfy on the sofa like bitch you were leaving lmao your resolve 'you should just give her full fat, she'd never notice, honestly'] Jimmy: [laughs evilly but quietly cos don't wake peeps up and mimes writing it down but then you know he's also getting comfy closer to her than he needs to be as per] Janis: ['puts hands up like soz 'you're off the clock, I remember'] Jimmy: [mimes looking at his watch and sighs dramatically like only for a bit but ain't that devvo cos got his bae back] Janis: ['should've put this in a to-go, like'] Jimmy: [nudges her like where do you are like I ain't even got #aesthetic mugs for insta 'pay up and you can have it prepped or served any way you want'] Janis: ['hot' 😂] Jimmy: [sips tea like he's doing a temp check and 👍] Janis: [just looks at him like nerd alert] Jimmy: [gets up, gets a pack of biscuits and throws them at her but gently cos again shh please boy] Janis: ['#whenbaespoilsyou'] Jimmy: [blows a kiss at her cos nerd] Janis: [catch it 'cos sporty] Jimmy: ['such an athlete, babe'] Janis: [stretching back like 'you know it'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her body cos that top is cropped af before you even move thank you bye] Janis: [always hitting with a 'what?' but being 😏 'cos you know] Jimmy: [always giving it back like you don't know exactly what you're doing okay then] Janis: [just come casual tension but you're about it] Jimmy: [nearly spilling that tea actually cos all your attention is on the bae, the fucking eye contact forever damn] Janis: [sipping with purpose beech] Jimmy: [when your phone goes off to break the unbearable tension for a sec but it's just the fans as usual so you can look together and get even closer to her like look] Janis: ['can't break their hearts just yet, like, they ain't ready'] Jimmy: ['none of the lads must've caught your party mood from a decent enough angle or that'd be up doing it for us'] Janis: [🙄 and pushes him like shut up] Jimmy: ['its alright I've had more breakups and make ups than I've had girlfriends, must be something about me 😏'] Janis: [lols 'you reckon'] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like don't lol at my misfortune but is clearly also amused 'try and fake some sympathy, girl, damn'] Janis: [clutches her heart dramatically] Jimmy: [shakes his head like she's such a dickhead but smiling cos she's also a cute nerd] Janis: ['this-' gestures to the tea '-ain't strong enough to swap war stories, boy'] Jimmy: ['subtle move, pisshead' gestures toward the kitchen 'go on and raid Ian's supply but his broken heart'll be on your head, like'] Janis: [gets up and shrugs 'least I didn't break his windows'] Jimmy: [shrugs back like fair point] Janis: [picks a bottle that's fairly full but not completely 'cos least obvious and she's not actually that arsed but takes a swig walking back in] Jimmy: [control your heart eyes and swooning boy we all know its a #mood] Janis: [offers the bottle to him but doesn't sit, 'it'll help you sleep, early start and everything'] Jimmy: [takes it and takes a bigger swig than her because everything's a challenge and passes it back] Janis: [raises her brows at him but obviously can never back down from a challenge] Jimmy: ['coming in?' meaning work tomorrow obvs] Janis: [when you act like you're thinking about it for much longer than you actually are 'probably, be a bit of a bad review if I'm not dying to see you the morning after, like'] Jimmy: ['could be incapable of walking, your nan got a zimmer you can borrow for a bit?'] Janis: [when you have to snort 'cos you have to hold in a louder laugh more] Jimmy: ['take that as a nah, fit is she? Gotta get it from somewhere, eh?'] Janis: ['She's only 62, so yeah, could probably take you on' 😏] Jimmy: ['bring her in for a cuppa, I'll earn a decent tip, no bother' 😉] Janis: ['ugh, you and your type'] Jimmy: ['paying customers, yeah, really turn me on when they hand me them couple of extra euros they do'] Janis: ['you're in the wrong job then' and shakes her head 'cos thinking 'bout Rio, shade] Jimmy: ['in it for the art form though, obvs' thinking about that hipster latte foam] Janis: [''course, Pete's artistry is limited to bass only, like' Jimmy: ['I can't live if I can't express myself creatively, the need lends itself to being more than a one trick pony, so burdened me' gets Pete's page up and is having a scroll and showing her things cos he weren't at the party obvs] Janis: [😏 'You are SO in love with him'] Jimmy: ['pick your own jaw off the floor and it might hit harder, mate'] Janis: ['please, I play it SO cool'] Jimmy: ['where and when?'] Janis: ['I'm pretty sure he don't know I exist so check and mate, mate'] Jimmy: ['Don't take your hand off that piece yet, Jill, 'cause here's me calling bollocks. He's mentioned you to me'] Janis: ['OMG, what did he say?!' in a scary good Grace impression, but quieter please; 'also you better not have told him my name's Jill, even worse than my actual'] Jimmy: [in a accurate Pete impression 'that girl's so... dude, your girl's really...' back to Jim voice 'wouldn't you LOVE to know, Juliet' shows her his phone where that's her name cos fave of the nicknames duh] Janis: [when you're loling at the impression but lowkey 😍 at the nickname 'cos it's shamelessly cute] Jimmy: ['I wanna be the face of that band but I ain't got the voice. You?'] Janis: [shakes head and pulls face like god no 'my mother's already tried to make us a racially ambiguous version of the Nolans, but she obviously ain't pushy enough, where's Joe Jackson when you need him, eh?'] Jimmy: [lols like that's us fucked then 'starving artist and muse it is then, baby' snaps a pic of her to make the point] Janis: [when you try and get the phone outta his hands 'cos never enough playfighting] Jimmy: [when of course you end up on top of her on the sofa like well now this is a moment RIP] Janis: [when you just go for it 'cos you can't not but then you pull back like fuck] Jimmy: [when you then have to go for it cos you didn't wanna stop and that's all you're thinking about] Janis: [back at it again on this sofa] Jimmy: [so into it, god only knows how we're stopping them rn] Janis: [Twix run bitch run] Jimmy: [barking cos are they playing or are they fighting OH PUP DO NOT WAKE THIS FAM] Janis: [well that's that ruined thanks babe, getting up so fast like 'I'll go'] Jimmy: [when you want her to stay but Bobby appears like oh hey did anyone order an even bigger cockblock so you have to be in big brother mode cos he's always lowkey scared/upset by life in general] Janis: [when you stay long enough to not freak him like who was that but then you peace so he can deal in private] Jimmy: [I hope she's got the jacket again so she don't freeze to death] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is he back to bed and her in the doghouse, like Jimmy: 🐶🔪🔪 say goodbye to your little mate 💔 Janis: harsh Janis: poor bobby Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix like a ransom photo but the newspaper be in her mouth cos nerds] Janis: 😱 Janis: I'll give you whatever you want Jimmy: anything I want? Janis: That's what I said Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby and Twix both asleep on him like okay she's safe] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [saying that he misses her and flirting on the socials so that I can] Janis: Smart thinking Janis: keep up appearances, make it look like it ain't a hostage situation Jimmy: not thick, northern Janis: like I said, impressed Jimmy: don't you wanna save your flirting for the feeds? Janis: This isn't flirting Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah Janis: I can do much much better than fake me Janis: obviously Jimmy: more #goals than this?! gotta call bollocks Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 Janis: sure, as far as everyone knows, we're the it couple of the moment Jimmy: 💘 Janis: as long as all dogs and children are safe Janis: let you get a few hours, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: you said anything I want Janis: Well have you decided Jimmy: I'm thinking Jimmy: stick around Janis: alright Janis: I'm still walking anyway Jimmy: where to? Janis: my nan and granddads Janis: cba to go home Jimmy: you could always walk back Jimmy: know your way in Janis: look like you've got your hands full Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: can't be giving it out like you don't wanna climb through my bedroom window, girl Jimmy: balcony or nah Janis: better change names with me, boy Janis: rose by any other name and all that Jimmy: suits you better, can't help that Janis: hmm Janis: gotta think of a name for you Janis: you don't own nicknames, like Jimmy: what are you on about? it's the name your parents gave you weren't it? Janis: 😏 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: charming you are 💕 Janis: not our story Janis: cinderella would be hard to pull off, even now you've left the north Jimmy: if it could happen anywhere, it'd be the CG Jimmy: picking the ugliest out of your sister's squad though, not easy Jimmy: Mia's 🥇 duh but then who? Jimmy: might be the tall one, might be her 💀 clone Janis: 🤔 Janis: my votes for BFG Janis: 💀💀 twin too hard, the disparity is great for comedic effect Jimmy: where's your #tallgirlsolidarity babe? OMG Janis: fine, go be friends with a leprechaun Jimmy: such a friend kink you Jimmy: trying to get me invited to a sleepover or what? Janis: not at my house, thanks Janis: if you have an orgy with them we're no longer besties Jimmy: I told you before, if I wanted that it would've already happened Janis: Gross Janis: they have to have some boundaries Janis: obvs all go to the bathroom together to have a vom sesh but you know Jimmy: it's like a cult Jimmy: if they don't all fuck and they're only doing the death pact bit 💔 Janis: there's no way the 💀 ones can exert the energy and the rest wouldn't wanna get their kit off 'cos they'd get fat-shamed so Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: their nails an' all that's a 🌈🚫 Jimmy: be like 🔪🔪 Janis: 🤢 Janis: too far Jimmy: soz my dear Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, be my mate again Jimmy: pretty please with 🍒s on Janis: you mean it Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you doing that behind your back like you're lying Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: come find out Jimmy: can't give up all my secrets to you Janis: I shouldn't Janis: might wake your dad up next time Jimmy: nowt wakes him Jimmy: garage walls are thicker than his head Janis: should do you a favour and not accept that challenge, shouldn't I Jimmy: I get it, was just a fluke and you can't break in again, yeah? Janis: please Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: and you made it so easy Jimmy: sounds fake, babe Janis: 😡 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah, you just want me to come back so you can be so impressed again Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: meant to be giving me what I want Janis: only the once Janis: not good for life, use it wisely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sooooooo Janis: am I coming or what Jimmy: do you wanna come or do you just want me to use that to make you so it's gone? Janis: 😑 Janis: hadn't thought it through that much, tbh Janis: it's your wish, I ain't interfering Jimmy: if I want you to come and keep that in my back pocket for later is that 1 favour or 2? Janis: Hmm Janis: alright Janis: I'll come and I still owe you Jimmy: should I unlock the door or let you show off? Janis: Probably just let me in Janis: I don't need it and I've got visions of the kid seeing me and 😱💀👻 now so Jimmy: and I don't need to be spending my tips getting him therapy Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: so considerate you Janis: you know Janis: and you're welcome Jimmy: might not be the shittiest mate to have Janis: 👂 Janis: sorry, can you repeat that Jimmy: I could Jimmy: but will I Janis: awh come on 😏 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I don't hate the idea, do I Janis: you're not a total idiot so Janis: 'course you don;t Jimmy: Stop complimenting me Jimmy: I'm gonna reckon your phone got snatched off you in a bit Jimmy: 🔪💀👻 Janis: Was just a means to compliment myself more, don't worry Jimmy: alright, fuck that, this is deffo you Janis: mhmm Janis: [does extra ass socials like people need to know she's going back] Janis: who else but your fake gf Jimmy: 💕😍💘 Jimmy: [replies that are as extra but we know there's realness underneath] Jimmy: [OMG the fire sexts can be born this day! cos remember when] Janis: [yasss] Janis: did you really just Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: you reckon you're the only one with impressive skills? Janis: obviously not Janis: do you want everyone on your dick more though 'cos Jimmy: they ain't gonna leave me alone Jimmy: that dream's 💀💀💀 Janis: 💔 Janis: not to victim blame you but Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: and you Jimmy: can't help it if you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had, can I? Janis: Yeah I'm so inspiring Janis: a muse, you could say Jimmy: a 🥇 muse baby Jimmy: get it right Jimmy: and send that tweet Janis: [does] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: Come out and 🚬? Jimmy: [does but let's say he hasn't put his hoodie back on yet cos was being snuggled a bit ago so we can fully appreciate the white tee moment] Janis: [you appreciate that girl, sat on his front step like hey] Jimmy: [Getting on there as well cos always gotta sit so close 5ever] Janis: [for warmth this time sure, when it's not been that long so you don't know if you're meant to pretend the makeout didn't happen but you can't anyway so] Jimmy: [and so you can share a smoke cos god forbid you just don't have your own you coupley bastards] Janis: [sharing is caring boo] Jimmy: [it means he smokes less so i'm about it as I am about their comfortable silences] Janis: [honestly, not even hello] Jimmy: [living for it, picture him on his phone cos peeps are losing it over their posts, but with her so not being an antisocial dick] Janis: [just loling and taking the piss how they do 'so, how often are you sexting to be that good?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos we both know he ain't done it for ages but ain't gonna say that 'like a 6 that were'] Janis: [nods, 'don't wanna give 'em everything right away, like'] Jimmy: ['they can't handle what we've already shown 'em, if I was going for it with a full 10 I'd kill your nan and we both know she's healthier than your horse'] Janis: [pushes him 'stop slagging my nan and imaginary horse, so rude'] Jimmy: ['I'm complimenting your nan and ain't about to stop, well in, me. You're only here 'cause she was asleep, like'] Janis: [PAHs, 'you ain't met her, boy; trust, you won't be getting no tips'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted 😏 but we're all amused af] Janis: [truly 'cos we all know what happened that time Tess showed lmao] Jimmy: [when you lowkey snuggling the bae tho cos its cold but also you want to] Janis: [rubbing his arms like he did] Jimmy: [just giving her heart eyes casually] Janis: ['wanna go in?' 'cos you're so concerned u caring hoe] Jimmy: [when you're #conflicted because you're alone out here and there's nobody cockblocking you but it's not comfortable so of course you ask her if she wants to cos always a question answered with a question] Janis: [just looking at his lips in response shameless] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her before you've even closed the door behind you cos also shameless] Janis: [get it kids] Jimmy: [use that front door to your advantage when you finally shut it but shh] Janis: [seriously shh even though you obvs don't wanna] Jimmy: [when you think you hear something so you stop for long enough to move, get back in that living room kids] Janis: [ah trusty sofa hello] Jimmy: [the mems on this sofa already, speaking of get on his lap girl cos that's a thing always and has to start somewhere] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [at least if you wanna be kissing constantly it'll keep you quiet cos we know he ain't usually living that life, we see you, mr no chill] Janis: ['You're a good kisser' 'cos you ain't told him that before now obvs] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling genuinely cos nobody's told you that before and you weren't expecting it and so cute so even though you should say it back cos true you're just like 🙊] Janis: [kiss that smile] Jimmy: [get your hands in her hair boy cos you love being soft] Janis: [when you're just enjoying how all this feels] Jimmy: [you can tell she's into it so just touching and soft kisses everywhere cos there's so much bare skin to play with thanks to this outfit you can just take your time] Janis: [when you're trying so hard to keep quiet 'cos it's obvs not been like this before in any sense] Jimmy: [gotta give the nips some attention cos they've been the centre of attention all night lbr so soz girl for making quietness even harder for you but not that soz] Janis: [when all the squirming she's doing gonna feel real good for you boy] Jimmy: [everybody winning rn] Janis: ['fuck!' 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [and now everything's a little less soft because all the encouragement you need to go harder at what you're doing] Janis: [when you're just moving your hands down from around his neck 'til they're making their way under his waistband] Jimmy: [his turn to say fuck quietly but with feeling] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [kiss that smug face boy so you shhh] Janis: [putting your finger to his lips like shh but you loling 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: [deciding to make this touching mutual so the struggle to be quiet is too, little do you know yet lad she's a pro at keeping things hush unlike you] Janis: [can't quiet your face though even if you are trying to hide it like] Jimmy: [his turn to be like 😏] Janis: [going harder like shut up] Jimmy: [going harder cos she is and everything's a competition forever] Janis: [tryna move away 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [use your strength soft boy I believe in you] Janis: ['boy'] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I simply must] Janis: [making eye contact and giving the LOOK to end all as you move back but closer] Jimmy: [keeping that eye contact going as you try not to be killed by the look and her everything atm] Janis: ['I've wanted to do this properly for so long' point out the obvious and not really that long but I'll allow it highkey ass] Jimmy: ['how long?' cos validate this high key needy boy] Janis: ['Since we started fake doing this, I told you, you're a good kisser'] Jimmy: ['I can top that, girl, I picked you 'cause I wanted to find out if you were' cos where's the lie] Janis: [pouts like she's fuming she's lost 'could probably call that false pretenses, you know' 😏] Jimmy: [the pouty lip bite 5eva bye cos gotta shut her up obvs haha] Janis: [#intoit Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [when your phones are still blatantly going off and you're ignoring that shit] Jimmy: [priorities kids sod looking at your phone when you can be looking at the bae] Janis: [real better than the faaaaake] Jimmy: [you know it] Janis: [is she staying or going after like] Jimmy: [I vote she should stay then she can come to work with him when he opens up cos what a #mood the CG alone together for a bit] Janis: [wid it, no running hoe] Jimmy: [he ain't letting her leg it]

[kee-writestrashh]

To Marry a Bastard

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

ao3

summary:  Before there were the Bastard’s Bitches, the Black Sheep, the Wicked Ones, and the Red King’s to worry about there was only the Bastard’s Boys. Before there was a bun in the oven there was a possessive, obsessive love. There was raw emotion. There was a rowdy group of men who frequented a small, hole in wall, bar…. There was something evil behind that smirk. But there was also something needing and wanting behind those cold blue eyes.

**prequel to Guns for Hire

Chap 1 || Chap 2 || Chap 3

Chapter 4: And so the Story Begins....

"You're late." Domeric said, looking up from his paperwork when Ramsay entered the office.

"Pft," Ramsay huffed with a haughty sniff. "And the problem is? I had shit to do."

Domeric set his pen down and examined his younger brother for a moment as he sat across the desk from him. Something seemed to have his feathers ruffled. Not that it took too much to get under Ramsay's skin, even if he wouldn't admit it. "Everything alright?"

Ramsay shot a cold glare at Domeric but his usual smirk cropped up soon after. "Of course. Everything is always alright."

"How'd court go? I haven't seen you since then." Domeric said slowly, as if choosing the words carefully.

Ramsay gave a shrug, "Dropped the assault charges. I'm sure father had something to do with it. But I was assigned six more weeks of anger management bullshit, and they added another day of therapy. So instead of seeing that old bitch once a week, I get to see her two times a week. Woooo." He added the last part in bitter sarcasm with an eye roll.

Domeric nodded a couple times before looking back at his paperwork. "I asked you to come by because I seem to be missing something. Father says that upon running final numbers last week for the last three months, it would seem that four of our larger shipments seemingly disappeared. I don't understand?"

"You and me both. I brought it up to father the first time it happened. It's hurting sales because guns keep going missing. Father said he'd look into the matter, but never said anything else to me." Ramsay said, idly biting a nail and leaning back in his seat.

Domeric frowned at the paper on his desk and gave a sigh.

"That's really all you wanted?" Ramsay asked, raising a brow and feeling irritable with his older brother. "You wasted my time to come into the office on my day off to talk about ghost ships? You could have fucking text me."

"Yeah... I guess." Domeric shrugged, tearing his pale eyes from the paper and looking back at Ramsay. "Sorry. I just thought maybe you knew more about it. If father already knew and you two had discussed it, why would he say anything to me?"

Ramsay gave a bewildered shrug and scrunched his face, "Fuck if I know how his mind works. Are we done here?"

"Yeah I guess. Since you seem in a hurry."

"Good. Because I have a couple things to buy real quick like. If you need anything just... text me."

----

"Think he'll actually show up to take me out?" You asked, looking over at Olyvar.

"He'd be a fool not to, dear." Olyvar hummed, wiping down a table top.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and the bar was closed, but Old Man Jones liked to have the bar wiped down and cleaned real good at least once a week.

"It's just a bit weird isn't it? I mean, he didn't even give me a name. What if he's like some serial rapist killer or some shit?" You sighed, walking into the back employee room to grab your things.

"Then don't go if you're worried about it. Make sure you have mace or something? I don't know what you want me to say (Y/N). You've been out of the game way too long." Olyvar said, following you and grabbing his coat.

You slid your coat on and pulled your keys from you pocket and gave a small shrug. "Yeah I guess. I'll text you and let you know how it goes!"

"Don't forget the condoms." Olyvar winked, slipping out the door.

"I'm not gonna fuck him!" You called after him, feeling your cheeks warm a bit. You shook your head slightly, exiting the building and locking the door behind you. Olyvar, he was so bold in everything he said. No shame.

You reached the landing of your apartment and were slightly startled to find a dress bag and a box on the ground outside your door.

There was a note on the box. You stooped down and picked it up:

For dinner tonight. I will meet you at front at 7:00 exactly. -R.B.

You gathered up the items, quickly unlocked your apartment door and stepped inside, closing the door quickly behind you. Your heart pounding in nerves and excitement as you made way to the tiny kitchen table you had. Okay, so it was more of a plastic party table, but it did it's job none the less. You set the note and box on the table, hanging up the dress bag on the handle of the freezer door of your refrigerator. You pulled the zipper and found a navy blue dress. It wasn't flashy, but it was still elegant. You removed the dress from the bag and held it to your front. The top dipped a little dangerously, but the length was respectable at it's mid thigh. At least you wouldn't be showing your ass.

Draping the dress over your arm you turned your attention to the box and removed the lid. A pair of strappy black high heels. The kind you would sometimes look at when you passed by shop windows, but knew you could never really afford. It made your jaw drop slightly. Your mysterious no name had left expensive gifts for you to wear on a date with him, and he had done no more than give you the initials R.B.

It somehow made you excited for the date all over again. You were now overly curious of this mystery man, and curiosity killed the cat. You had to know who he was. You had to know what his interest in you was. Why you?

So you spent the remainder of the afternoon getting ready for the date. Makeup, hair, the dress, and finally the heels. You turned from side to side to examine the dress as it clung to your body in all the right places. A last glance over of yourself in the mirror before finally prying your eyes away and checking the time. Five to seven. You took a deep breath, looking back at your reflection. The young woman staring back at you was not you. It felt like some first awkward meeting with someone in yourself you weren't aware was there until you put that dress on. Like some magic illusion. You took another deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Alright, (Y/N). You got this. It's just a date with a cute boy. That's all." You said to your reflection. If things go bad, they go bad. It wasn't that big of a deal, right? But he had provided you with your evening attire... Probably just to get it off of me. You thought with a falter to your smile, turning away from the mirror at last. You walked into the kitchen, grabbing your small clutch purse and sliding your phone inside. You made sure you had your keys and your wallet, tucked the clutch under your arm and stepped out of the apartment.

You made your way down the stairs and stepped outside into the crisp night air. Winter was fast approaching now that November was here. The lobby door closed slowly behind you, as if sealing your doom. Your nerves starting to get the better of you as you glanced up and there he stood. It wasn't exactly what you had been expecting. Sure, the sharp dinner attire, but the car was not what you had expected. You assumed some Lexus or other business casual rich man car. Though you weren't exactly sure why, other than he had bought you expensive dinner clothing, which obviously meant he wasn't hurting for money. No, the car was a classic muscle car. An old Camaro, blacked out and shone like a black diamond under the street lights.

You snapped your eyes to him, taking him in. He was rather... okay, he was fucking hot. That was all you could think in the moment. Not very modest or ladylike, but it was what it was. He cleaned up nice, as opposed to his bloody get up from Halloween. But those blue eyes were still as bright and haunting, even without the fake blood to bring them out. His pale complexion in the dim light making them sparkle like forbidden pools in some enchanted garden.

Forbidden pools. Enchanted gardens. What was this? Some Prince Charming fairy tale? Get a grip on yourself (Y/N).

He flicked his cigarette away from him and pushed off the car he had been leaning on. Eyes glancing at the watch on his wrist before back to you.

"You look nice." He commented, opening the passenger's door for you.

"As do you." You said, unsure what to say and immediately deciding what you had said was probably stupid. But you said nothing to try and salvage the confidence you just botched rather stupidly. You took the invitation, sliding into the car, feeling your nerves scream as you walked past him. How nice he smelt. How being so close to him was... you really had been out of the dating game for too long.

He closed the door and you glanced around the pristine leather and interior of the car as he slid into his seat. He gave you a sideways glance, watching you run your finger tips over the smooth, black dash.

"Sixty seven?" You asked, turning your eyes to him.

He gave a tiny smirk. "Yes. I rebuilt it myself. My first car." he nodded. "I'm impressed you knew what she was."

"My dad. He's a muscle car fanatic. Anyways, enough about what I know. You seem to know quite a lot. Like where I live. What size dress I wear. What size shoes I wear." You said, cutting straight to the point.

He gave a chuckle and a innocent shrug. "I make it my business to know people, doll."

"Well, mister-make-it-your-business-to-know-people, it is Wednesday, I am at your mercy on the way to a date I agreed to. I believe you owe me a name." You said, raising a brow.

"Yes. I do. You can call me Ramsay." He nodded, his coy smirk still in place.

Ramsay. That was a rather odd kind of first name. "With an E or an A?"

"A." He said almost at once, in a defensive sort of way.

"And is there a last name to go with it, Ramsay with an A?"

"Bolton."

"Bolton." You repeated slowly. You knew that name... but where did you know it? And then it hit you. It all suddenly made sense. The money and fancy getup. You gave a tiny gasp of comprehension. "Like the gun company?"

"That's the one." He nodded again. "My father is Roose Bolton."

You gaped at him, as if waiting for someone to jump out and scream 'April Fools!' This was all some joke. There's no way someone like him would ever be caught dead with some lowly bartender in school to be a cop. Ramsay seemed to know what you were thinking because he shifted in his seat at the red light and pulled his wallet from his back pocket, handing it to you. Cautiously you took it and opened it. And there, plain as day was his face and name. Ramsay Bolton.

Dinner passed pleasantly. The restaurant was nice. beyond nice in your opinion. The food was perfect, the wine was perfect, and your date seemed to be the cat's fucking meow. He was funny. His dry sense of humor made you giggle. He was very charming in your opinion. He seemed to know all the right words to say to keep you talking and gushing about yourself. If he kept it up, and the seemingly bottomless wine glass stayed in front of you, Ramsay was likely to know your deepest darkest secrets before you walked out of this place.

You spoke about coming to the city, finding the job at the bar, starting college, your life in the city so far. But you avoided the topic of where you came from. Your family. It was still too soon to admit to yourself that you were in the wrong about how things had went. But you had been 18 and 18 was a stupid age, no one could really fault you, right? But he didn't press for any information. He didn't seem too inclined to talk about his own beginnings either. You did manage to pluck up the courage and ask him why you were here with him on a date when some arm candy, made up, upper east side bitch could be here with him instead.

"They're boring." He said simply with a small shrug. "You're different." He added as an afterthought, helping you from your seat. Your legs a bit unsteady as the wine finally all hit you.

You grabbed on to his arm, regaining your footing. Cheeks burning to find yourself so close to him. His eyes held yours for what felt like a lifetime. As if he could see into your soul right through your eyes. And maybe you imagined it in your overly tipsy state. Maybe you wanted to find something wrong with Wonder Boy. But you could have sworn you saw a dark shadow cross those startling blue eyes.

But the next thing you knew was he was helping you up the stairs to your apartment, and fitting your key in the lock after you had managed to drop the key ring about seven times. Through the door and you were too drunk to care that your tiny flat was drab and mostly empty. You were hardly ever here save to sleep, shower, and study. Most of your days were spent at school or at the bar. Usually the bar. You didn't care if he turned up his nose at your 'poorness'. You were clean at least. You tossed away your clutch and clumsily stepped out of the heels as Ramsay took in every inch of the living room. The TV. The couch. The coffee table covered in textbooks and your laptop.

"You're free next Wednesday?" He asked, turning those cold eyes to you.

"Does this mean I get a second date and more wine that costs more than my life?" You quipped with a small giggle.

"Yeah, I think so." He replied with a half grin. "You'll be okay then?" He asked before turning to the door and opening it.

You felt a small twinge of hurt as he opened the door. You had fully expected at least some awkward kiss or passing innuendo. Some kind of outwardly sexual suggestion. And you would have invited it gladly, even if you had told Oly you weren't going to do that. Be that girl. It was the 21st century. Men didn't see women safely back to their apartments and just leave. There was no modesty in this city. No modesty past the age of 20. No chivalry and charm simply for the sake of it. But, he wasn't forcing himself on you. Had given no small suggestion to get you out of that dress. His eyes hadn't even lingered too long on your overly exposed cleavage during dinner.

You gave a small smile. "I'll be just fine."

"Goodnight then, doll." He said and gave a nod, letting his eyes look you over one last time, and just like that he was gone.

What a charmer. Maybe you should have know it was an elaborate trap. Even if you had yet to kiss him... you were all his. He knew it. If only you had seen it then too.

[holylulusworld]

Darkened - Part 2

Pairing (none so far): Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Garth, Mentioned: Bobby Singer

MoC set after Season 13

Summary: Years of hunting, sacrifices and losses let the Winchesters drift into darkness. Was their last sacrifice too much or can the reader bring light into their darkened world?

Warnings: Violence, Angst, Language, Kidnapping, Dub!Con (unwanted touching, fingering), Dark!Dean, Dark!Sam

You wake up. Your head is spinning and your jaw feels like…shit…like a wrecking ball hit your head. You look around you’re not at the old factory. Maybe Garth picked you up…no he’s in the hospital…

“Ah, she’s awake!” Dean grunts.

“Dean?”

“You know my name? Who told you who I am?” He asks in an angry tone.

“No one! I’m Y/N! We met at Bobby’s house. The last time we saw each other was six years ago!” you say.

“There were a lot of useless hunters around!” He yells now.

“Why did you hit me? I saved your ass! And where the heck am I!” you yell back.

“That was our hunt! You had no right to disturb us!”

“Disturb? I tried to help! I hunted down three out of seven wolves! But I guess Garth was right. Should have stayed away from the famous Winchesters!” you sass back.

“Helped? I doubt that, Sam and I are capable enough to hunt alone!”

“Fine! Then I hit the road now. Forget you ever met me!” You try to get up but your head is spinning. Two rough hands grabbing your wrists harshly.

“No, no Sweetheart. You’re not going anywhere!” Dean says pinning you back on the bed.

“That’s our secret bat cave and you know now where it is! Can’t let you tell anyone!”

“I didn’t see anything. I was knocked out. Remember?” You say and your brain tells you that they won’t let you go no matter what you say.

“Nope. You play by our rules now. You took our kills. You pay for it!” Dean says smirking, slamming the door shut, locking it from outside.

‘Shit!’ You’re screwed. ‘Okay, focus, Y/N they are hunters! They won’t kill you or would they? They hurt Garth, a former friend…

1 hour later

You look in the mirror and your jaw is black and blue. You carefully touch it. ‘Not broken.’ Thank God. You clean your face, freeing it from the dried blood.

The door slams open. “I checked your purse, you’re a doctor?” Sam asks.

“Yes, I’m…Why?”

“You have to patch us up, now!” He grunts, grabbing your arm with full force.

“Ouch! Okay, no need to hurt me! I’ve got a first aid bag in my car. Or did you leave it at the factory?”

“No, Dean insisted to bring it with us, just like you.” Sam eyes you up, like you’re their prey.

“Stay here, I get the bag. Don’t move or I…” He growls moving toward…well you don’t know where he’s going.

‘Where the fuck am I?’ You wonder, looking around you see shelves with books, tables with reading lamps, laptops. It looks like… a library? But there are bedrooms too… no library? What did Dean say, bat cave?

“Ah, Good Girl! So you can follow orders! Good to know!” Sam says smiling wickedly.

You gulp; you don’t want to know what he means. Your hunter instincts tell you to remain calm and to wait for your chance, but the little girl inside of you is afraid of the two large hunters. They are…evil? No, not evil but they are like…darkened versions of their former selves.

“Dean needs help first!”

You nod. Dean and Sam take their shirts of. ‘Shit!’ If you weren’t afraid of the both of them you would be turned on, you always wondered how they look without a clothes.

“Where’s the wound?” you asks shyly.

“Sam has a huge cut on his back and I got one from my chest” Dean says.

You grab your first aid bag…well a huge duffle bag with medical stuff… wait… I’ve got scissors …in it… and…

“Don’t worry your pretty head; I removed all possible weapons from the bag.” Dean smirks at you.

‘Shit! Did he read my mind?’

“I… I was just looking for some sanitizer; you know to clean the wound!” You lie.

“Really? Shall I believe you? Sam asks, suddenly standing closer next to you. You can feel his breath fanning over your neck.

“Yes, I’m a doctor! I help people. I don’t hurt them.” You say.

“We don’t hurt people either, accept they deserve it.” Dean states.

You gulp. “You need to lie down please, so I can clean the wound and see if it needs stitches.”

“Hey Sammy, we just meet again after 6 years and she already wants to lay down with me!” Dean says wiggling his eyebrows.

“I… no. I need to…” you stammer, face flushed.

You clean the wound, carefully. It needs stitches. Shit. You have to crawl up his body to fix this.

“I… I need to stitch this up; it’s a pretty deep cut.” You whisper.

Dean nods. Smiling… did he smile? No he was smirking.

“You, can you, well spread your legs so I can place my leg between and stitch you up?” you stammer.

“Ah, Sweetheart, isn’t it your job to spread your legs for us?” Dean asks smirking again.

‘Wait…what did he say…and did he say us?’

“In your dreams Winchester, I need to stitch this up or you will loose more blood!” You sass back.

Suddenly Sam grabs your hair harshly. “Firstly you don’t talk back, you do as we say. Secondly no tricks!”

“Ouch!” you scream, nodding.

You crawl between Deans legs to have a better position to stitch his wound. And oh god his cock is hard, you can feel “it” poking into your leg. You take a deep breath. “This is going to hurt like a bitch!” You say.

Dean nods. You begin stitching him up and he doesn’t move a muscle. ‘Does he even feel pain?’ you wonder.

“Years of getting hurt. One day you don’t feel anything, anymore.” Dean says, you can almost hear sadness in his voice.

“I see.” You say smiling at him, caressing his now closed wound with your index finger.

He looks up at you with a puzzled expression.

You realize what you did…what to say? ”Does this hurt, is the stitch to taut?” You ask, bandaging the wound.

“No, perfect, maybe you’ll get a reward later.” He says in a husky tone.

“I… I need to stitch up Sam, now.” You say.

You move toward Sam looking at his back. He’s too tall you can’t reach the wound.

“Can you sit down? I… I’m too short. I can’t reach the wound on your back.”

He takes place on the bed and you’re kneeling behind him. Cleaning his wound carefully, just like Deans. He makes a noise…did he just moan? No, you must misheard that.

“Sam, I need to stitch this up too. Can you lie on your stomach? It’s easier for me to stitch you up that way.”

“Well, I would prefer you lying on your stomach and I take care of you, but let’s start with stitching me up.” Sam grunts, your eyes widen at his words.

You start stitching up his wound, just like Dean he doesn’t react to the pain. ‘Can they feel anything?’ Lost in your thoughts you overhear Dean’s words…

“Hey, if someone TAKES CARE of her it’s me. You wanted to leave her behind.” Dean growls.

You can feel Sam tense. Before you can react he jumps up, what causes you to fall out of the bed smashing your head hard against the nightstand. “Ouch!” is all you can say and the lights go out again.

1 hour later

You wake up and well your legs are naked? Why are you legs naked? You can feel a hand moving over your legs, higher to your tights…You open you eyes and see Dean.

He’s smirking down at you. “Told ya, I give you a reward.”

You try to push his hand away. Suddenly he seems angry. “Well, I tried to be a gentleman, but…”

“Gentleman? Beating me up? Kidnapping me? And now I’m suddenly half naked and you’re touching me!” you yell.

“Yep. I was a gentleman, but now I take what I want!” He crawls up your body and pins your wrists up your head with one hand, moving one of his legs between yours. Your try to wiggle your body but he’s too strong, to heavy. He moves the other hand between your legs and starts moving toward your mound. He slides his rough fingers through your folds.

“Dean, stop!”

“Really? But why are you so wet, Sweetheart?” He asks.

“I…please don’t, do this Dean.” You plea.

He circles his fingers through your folds. Slowly pushing two digits into your wet heat, thrusting in and out while rubbing your clit. He’s curling his fingers until he finds your sweet spot and you cry out.

“Ah, there it is. You like that, right?” Dean continues pumping his fingers in and out and rubs your clit even harsher. You don’t want to come but he knows what he’s doing. Dean’s brushing over your sweet spot over and over again, while rubbing your clit harshly; you can’t stop it and come undone

He retreats his fingers and tries to spread your legs for him. You start sobbing.

“Dean, please. Not like this. Please. You’re not a monster. You’re a good man, you’re not a rapist. Please don’t do this.”

He looks up at you with his green eyes and sees your terrified look. Suddenly he realizes that you don’t want this, you’re really afraid of him. He releases your hands and backs up.

“I…I’m sorry…I.” he stammers, running out of the room.

Dean runs down the hallway and crashes into Sam. “Dude, are you drunk?” Sam jokes, looking at his brother’s face he knows something’s off.

“What happened saw a ghost?” Then he hears you crying. “Dean, what have you done? Did you hit her again? The first time you wanted to knock her out and the second time was an accident, well my fault. But there’s…” Sam can’t finish the sentence.

“I didn’t hit her…” Dean stammers.

“And why is she crying, that’s not the way to win her over for us, ya know! You wanted company, a “roommate”, maybe more.” Sam states.

“I…when she touched my wound, no caressed my wound, I felt something for the first time in years!”

“I know, Dean me too, but we need to be careful, I mean we kidnapped her, you hit her, not a way to ask her to help us with…you know.”

“I couldn’t stop, I needed to touch her. After she touched my wound, I thought, she wanted me to touch her too.” Dean says casting his look down.

“Dean! Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me you did…did you force her to something? Don’t tell me you raped her! Cause then I’m going to beat the shit out of you.” Sam yells.

“NO! I didn’t. But I kinda made her come on my fingers. And if she wouldn’t have begged me to stop, Sammy, I don’t know. She was terrified, but she said I’m a good man. But, I look in the mirror and I hate what I see.” Dean says sadly.

“Shit, Dean…that’s no better. You forced her to something she didn’t want to do.”

“I see if I can calm her down.” Sam says.

“You scared her too, the whole time. I guess we need to give up. We can’t…” Dean can’t finish the sentence.

He sees you standing in the hallway, shaken, tears streaming down your face. Your jaw and your left eye are black and blue.  

“Do you want to kill me now?” You ask.

“No, no, Baby Girl, no. Look, I’m sorry. I thought you wanted me to touch you. I’ll never do it again.” Dean pleas.

“I wanted you to touch me? When a woman says NO, she means NO, even if Dean Winchester is touching her!” you yell.

“You, see we’ve changed. 5 years ago something “happened” to us and a “side effect is that we can’t feel anything. But when you touched us, we felt something for the first time in 5 years…

[justinstolemybike]

hey kids

so after contributing 13 hours of my life to the latest season, i have some opinions, so here they are, even though you didn’t ask for them. quick and dirty and probably poor syntax. (obviously spoiler alert)

highlights

- the biggest highlight of s2 for me is that they developed the background for almost every character that deserved to be humanized. i always thought that most of the characters were redeemable, but in s1 they were so one note, so we couldn’t have much doubt in hannah as narrator. s2 really gives dimensions and layers to the characters whose conscience was always there, just not loud enough, even hannah’s and even more important, they showed that some people are just... plain fucking evil.

- another pretty big highlight was how they handled hannah and the perspective of her suicide. a lot of the criticism about the show was portraying hannah baker as a hero for getting revenge on her aggressors by taking her life and shaming them as theoretical murderers, which i agree with. in s2, they tackle that discussion head on by the dialogues clay has with hannah in his mind. she said that she wasn’t looking for revenge, just to tell her story and her story isn’t the only one that matters. i don’t know if that’s what the ‘real hannah baker’ would’ve said  bc this was a hannah that was created by clay but it felt believable to me and a little bit more empathetic. however, i understand if people still have the view of 13rw being ‘tragedy porn’ and gratuitous/triggering w it’s rape scenes but s2 has tried to make up for a lot of that, no matter what the motivation may be.

- i’m happy they didn’t act like jeff just went away.

- they breezed over race privilege. good on them.

- i think my favorite episode was episode 13 and my favorite scene was when everyone danced around clay and held him up at the dance. i didn’t cry at that, though, it was so touching. i did cry at clay’s eulogy. ugh, beautiful.

weak spots 

ok ok ok, so there’s going to be so much more weaknesses than overall highlights, but i did thoroughly enjoy this season, much more than s1.

- the biggest weak spot for me was... how they dealt with the plots? i guess? like, everything that happened this season, i pretty much was glad about BUT i wanted it to happen for DIFFERENT CHARACTERS? for example, tbh, i never cared for skye. i didn’t like how she judged sheri and she just seemed like a stock character and s2 didn’t change that all that much and i knew that it was leading to a clay x skye relationship but... i really really really didn’t fucking want it to? i wanted sheri to be clay’s gf without the mental illness, and skye could still be that really good friend for him bc sheri x clay had that romantic backdrop already and sheri’s really sweet. 

- speaking of characters, let’s talk about tony and sheri, shall we? tony was clay’s #1, last season. they had this crazy-strong relationship, although it was a bit one-sided, looking at you clay but no one could question the authenticity. but then, this season....we barely see any tony x clay.... if at all???? like, i am very glad that tony got a bf that supports all the he is and all that he wants to become, and i’m happy that he’s happy but, it was just so weird that we didn’t get a lot of clony time. it seems like they’re pretty much replacing tony for justin, which... i mean, ok (except he did try to talk about killing him last season) but tony has always had clay’s back. tony stuck by him, defended him, took care of him when he needed it? and i know they spoke about his probation being the reason he couldn’t help anymore, but... it feels fake bc we all know how padilla gets down for the ones he cares for and it seems like he cares for clay more than anyone. that’s another reason why i loved the finale bc we see glimpses of that again. also, his whole story with beating the bigot up for harassing him and ryan also felt weak. like, the way that boy was stressing, i thought he killed a guy and hannah helped him bury the body. like i understand he didn’t wanna go to juvie but... it truly didn’t feel that deep. like wasn’t a big enough payoff for this major secret that made him give his life to follow hannah’s rules and let a rapist go free. but that’s just me. 

sheri. my fave. arguable, but out of all the subjects on the tapes, sheri had the closest relationship with clay. she always tried to check in on him and she really liked him. but no. he ends up with skye, which like i said, makes sense but... no. now she comes back and she still tries to help clay any way she can but... he still doesn’t trust her??? and he’ll trust zach and justin and even tyler to some degree but not her?????? and she wasn’t at the dance or the funeral????? so i’m wondering if she’ll be back for s3 and i’m just??????????? she basically took on the role of tony for this season, being wise and VERY HELPFUL yoda and truly wanting to get justice for hannah and help clay and justin but she just gets cut short, on redemption and screen time. it’s not fair, especially considering they gave it to courtney, who did nothing, honestly. i mean, it’s great she came out but let’s be real, that was about her. that would’ve had to happen whether she was put on trial or not. OH OH OH AND MARCUS GOT TO TELL HIS SIDE BUT NOT SHERI????? SQUARE THE FUCK UP SELENA GOMEZ

- while i am very glad that they spoke about mental illness, it was with the wrong character. as i have posted before, hannah had a lot of terrible shit happen to her by careless people but for her to take her life, i very much believe she had to have some type of disorder going on but yet again, the show does nothing to show that. laughably, they did a better job with showing skye’s symptoms in two episodes then hannah’s in a full 26 episodes. like what? 

- still no jail for bryce. i know they wanted realism and more shit for another season probs, but dude that really sucks. 

- were we really supposed to believe that clay would kill bryce?

- i could do without the alex/justin/jessica triangle. i mean, isn’t that how we got into this mess?

- the new characters, i really don’t care about. even tony’s nice bf who i don’t remember the name of. see? don’t care.

[inquisitorinquisitor]

Bakugou x Reader x Dabi

To my first one-shot give away winner, @fullofboringstuff! There are now nine open slots for the one-shot giveaway! 

Fullofboringstuff asked for a sequel for my Katsuki Bakugou x Reader one-shots.. which is now into a very mini series. Depends on how things go... without any ado! Let’s go forward! 

-.-

This connects to my previous two one-shots:

 Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Katsuki x Reader: His Pov

-.-

Warning: Angst. Just more angst.

Once again, the reader is neutral.

Bold: Text 

Italics: Emphasize on words or flash back.

-.-

Being Hurt By Someone You Love Is The Worse Feeling Ever -Author Unknown

Are you ready for tonight?

Oh dear...I almost forgot about it. 

Now, now... don’t make me have to punish you tonight again.... 

See you tonight, Dabi~

Tonight, Y/N.

Y/N let out a tired sigh as they flung their phone on the air mattress that is now considered to be their bed now. Looking around at the extremely sparse apartment, only filled with just the necessary furniture and nothing else. Since their break up with Kats... Bakugou,  their life has been nothing but a complete down hill battle. 

Going to a Hero Agency for a job was a complete no go, to much of a risk for the bastard to find them and the tabloids will just eat them up if they catch wind of them anywhere in the public. Y/N had to deactivate all their social media accounts as they all become flooded with questions or demands on what exactly happened to the (in)famous pair of Katsuki and Y/N. 

For this very reason, Y/N has been... taking jobs that are not exactly hero worthy... Does it provide just enough for the rent, a possible meal here and there? Yes. Does this means, they’ll turn completely evil in terms of being a former hero that is now taking unsavory jobs? Not necessarily? 

Who’s going to miss an abuser? A mass killer? A rapist? Someone that no longer belongs in this world... Either way, at least it’s enough cash in their pocket to get by... just to get by. 

Y/N’s mind began to wonder back to a simpler time when they didn’t have to worry about money or to wonder where their next meal is going to be. Wondering if they made a mistake on leaving... him. No. Shaking their head to get rid of those thoughts. Right now, they are seeing someone that treats them with far better respect, even if he’s still aloof more than half the time, but completely different than him. 

Even if Y/N doesn’t have strong emotions for Dabi, at least he never made them feel like shit everyday. The silence better suited for them, for the both of them. Perhaps... maybe... in the future... 

Nope... Y/N rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands as they attempted to think over their past, present and future decisions. To think that they are now working along side villains to just get by. 

If it wasn’t for Dabi, they would have been in far worse state. Emotionally and Physically. 

Bing~

Y/N lifted their head to see their phone’s screen to light up to signify a new message. With a grumble, they got up and grabbed the phone. 

Change of plans, the man child has a new job for us. Get ready.

Fine. Pick me up?

I’m already here.

-.-

Katsuki hasn’t been able to get out of hi-their apartment. Theirs. Far as he knew, they are just taking a long and very needed break. Just a break. Just a break....

In this supposed break, Katsuki hasn’t been able to move forward. His heart felt like it was torn out and ripped up into million of pieces, to only be put back half-ass’ed. Waking up crying out Y/N’s name repeatedly, clutching their pillow close to him every night and whispering out apologizes, begging for them to return. With promises that he'll change for them.

Maybe if he had changed his mindset on becoming a top pro-hero, then they would have still stayed with him. Just... maybe.

The familiar ringtone coming from his phone made his mood drop massively towards the already negatives. Scowling deeply, Katsuki grabbed the phone from the nightstand and yelled out a response, feeling his temper getting the better of him. "What the fuck do y- I'll be right there."

Taking one last whiff from Y/N's pillow, cursing at how their smell is now fading from it, Katsuki got off the bed to quickly get dressed into his hero costume. There's a problem at supposedly highly guarded warehouse... how typical.

-.-

"This was too easy." Dabi commented into Y/N shoulder, they watched as their... fearless leader go on an other rant about heroes and villains, as he also went over why they broke into this precise warehouse. Whatever the reason was, Y/N didn't care at this point. Their night was ruined, they really needed to get their minds off from their earlier thoughts. 

A sharp pain from their shoulder brought Y/N back to reality, they turn their head to see Dabi still biting onto their shoulder with a playful gleam in his eyes. Biting the inside of their cheek, Y/N couldn’t help but remember when they first met Dabi...

It was just some time after they left Bakugou and completely out of luck. Money running dry and not able to trust friends for fear they would tell him... or there were no more people to call friends due to that hostile relationship. Luckily, there was one friend that managed to help them by offering them their couch until they got back on their feet and one night, invited them to go to a bar. The subdued atmosphere helped Y/N to put them on ease to oppose to a bustling club where their nerves wouldn’t have been able to take it. 

Taking a seat at the far side of the bar in a booth that was partially lit, with their friend seat so that they could watch over the entire bar to make sure they are not taken by surprise. Y/N and F/N talked throughout the night, both barely even finishing their first drink as they talked.

“You need to find someone that will treat you right, Y/N.” F/N whispered furiously to Y/N.

Y/N gripped tightly to the leather seat, knowing full well they needed to move on but somewhere deep within them, they did not want to. They wanted to go back to Katsuki, wanting to go back to their old life, but no matter how much they wanted that... they know living in that atmosphere and being treated as they were, was no way to live unless something or someone changed. “I know...”

“If you know, then do it! Here...” F/N scanned through bar, their eyes landed on someone sitting at the bar. “There... him!” 

Against their better judgement, Y/N turned around and couldn’t hold back their surprised expression. They didn’t know if it was the alcohol or how perfect the setting was. It also didn’t help how the guy had turned around to look at them when they also turned at the same time. The man shot them a grin which Y/N couldn’t help but blush to, yep it was the alcohol. 

The alcohol! 

It was making Y/N feel things again they shouldn’t.  

It was the alcohol making them get up from the booth, with their nearly empty glass to sit next to the mysterious man. 

It was the alcohol making them giggle or laugh at the man’s flirty smiles and soothing words. 

It was the alcohol making them feel secure about themselves. 

It was the alcohol making Y/N realize, they could possibly move on. 

It wasn’t the alcohol when Y/N accepted the m-Dabi’s proposal to meet up at his apartment that night. 

What sealed the deal is a bite to the shoulder and it was all they both needed to get a move on. 

Perhaps the alcohol could temporarily repair or numb their heart for now...

Y/N and Dabi looked at each other when they both started to feel unease. Something wasn’t right and it appeared they were not the only ones. Before any of them could move or say anything about this feeling, the windows of the warehouse exploded and pro-heroes stormed into the building, taking them by surprise. 

Of course...

Y/N and Dabi, back to back, starting to fight off the false heroes in an attempt to escape capture. At this point, the others were also trying to elude capture, it was unfortunate their opponents aimed for  Kurogiri first, preventing a quick escape. 

When Y/N heard loud gasp or shouts of surprise, they turned around to see former friends were sent to apprehend them. 

“Y/N!”

“What the hell!” 

“This is what you’ve been up to??”

Y/N gave them a shrug, lips thinned as they continued on with their questioning. There was no need to answer them. They wouldn’t understand. They might have been friends at one point, right now, they are nothing but the enemy. Their loyalty is to Bakugou, not them. 

“Y/N! Y/N!!!!!” 

Y/N froze, they turned around and there he was, standing on top of rubble glaring down at them. “No, no, no....”

Katsuki’s expression just for a moment before realization began to sink in. There was no way Y/N, his Y/N would ever consider being part of the League of Villains. Something they both had fought against time and time again. Now... they were a part of it. No, maybe they got blackmailed or forced you to join. They do have a rather powerful quirk that could be useful for espionage and full on combat if needed. He needed to get them out of there. “Y/N! Come here, now!”

Y/N couldn’t help it when their heart skipped a beat at the sight of Katsuki, calling out to them. Old memories coming to the forefront of their mind, the happy memories they shared together, the ones full of love and hope. 

“Y/N, it’s time to go.” Dabi called out, breaking Y/N from their trance. 

Y/N turned back to look at Dabi to see him partially sticking out of Kurogiri portal with his arm extended out in their direction. 

Y/N looked back at Katsuki who also has arm extended out towards their direction too, almost looking like he’s begging for them to run towards him. 

Without a second thought, Y/N ran into the arms of the one they felt the most safest in...

Fin. 

[comic-critic-squad]

NaCl 001: The Meteor Tribe

Welcome to the first post in what I hope to turn into a semi-regular thing.

These may come in two types—individual examinations of certain things in individual comics. For now, Home is easy as hell to do this with (and there is a lot to say), but I’d love to take a deeper look at comics I like (I have a tiny few criticisms of Scurry, but there’s obviously way more things I think Mac did well; I’m an enormous fan of Ghost of the Gulag), comics I’m so-so on (AFRICA, Frostbite; Off-White), and comics I think are total trash (Home, obviously; Legacy; The Flightless Bird).

Without further ado, welcome to my thoughts on why the Meteor Tribe is poorly written and not all that well thought out, beginning with the dude right at the top: the jarl.

1. There's no reason to respect/follow the jarl—especially Ranach.

Rulers rule through two means: love or fear. Hate doesn't work, and we have evidence none of the members liked Ranach: Fuss says he was mocked in his absence and told Ulfr he would make a worse leader than Ranach (implying they saw Ranach as a terrible ruler), Vigr showed their feelings toward him when Ranach was denied entry and said Ranach had lost his mind during Three Ranach Moon, obviously none of the female dogs cared for him, and so on. 

While we're given the impression Brodir and Arenak were genuine tyrants (and the MT had more members then, but since we know nothing about Brodir and barely more than nothing about Arenak, they’re mostly irrelevant), Ranach was pathetic. It’s amazing anyone actually listened to him post-Arenak since he wasn’t really liked...not that he did much anyway.

The most evil thing he did as ruler? Tell someone else to kill his father...a worse character. Outside of that, he ordered Rogio killed for betrayal—which would be in-character had Kique not suddenly sprung that bullshit "THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ROGIO" and then make Ranach completely pathetic afterward.

(Also—Ranach does not have NPD. Even if he did, congratulations for playing right into ableism. Characters are never assholes on their own, but this is also coming from a guy who thinks the only requirement to be a villain is being a rapist.)

He got pissed at Galti, ordered his papa killed, conned Ronja into joining, captured Ferah and Kargo, ordered the death fakeout of Rogio, and...oh. That's it. All he’s done recently is give evil looks.

He didn't even let the spirit take his pups. 

Damn, wouldn't that have really shown his supposed NPD and "he really misses the way Rogio made him feel" we've had hammered down our throats? Wouldn't that have actually been a good way to subvert the whole "everyone fucking survives and this story is goddamn predictable and there's no need for three additional characters that are all obviously going to get their own POVs/screentime." 

Nope. Instead Ranach doesn't go through with it...you know, a good thing. It's not like he could've been really shown to be heartless if he'd been like "lol take 'em gimme back my Rogiboy."

Anyway, back on topic.

Essentially, Ranach was hated (even though he didn’t really...do much...) by the members, and they had no reason to follow him. Dogs like Fuss (oh, good ol’ Good Guy Fuss) could have led a coup or something. (I mean...Fuss loved the MT’s broodmare so much. I’m sure he would’ve done anything to free his love.)

We’re not given much about the MT’s culture and history, and I’m not going to give any “well maybe years ago...” credit. As far as we know, all these dogs have been 100% fine listening to a jarl who treats them like shit and abuses them. We’re not given any indication of severe brainwashing or cult-like indoctrination, and so while one or two (like Ulfr) may be in it to get their kicks, all of them are okay with that way of life? (Of course, until they weren’t okay with it--like when they suddenly get screentime and need to be a good guy.)

Regardless, even if all those dogs magically follow the same hivemind despite zero indoctrination and are a-okay listening to someone who abuses them, there’s an even bigger issue: the Meteor Tribe is small.

2. The Meteor Tribe isn't large.

We're given the impression early in the comic that the MT has numbers. Well, that's quickly ruined—and no, Kargo the Killer and retcon "actually, x number died before the story" are excuses.

They’re not a threat, and it’s amazing everyone is oh-so terrified of them considering they don’t really do shit. (Let. Me. Repeat: FOH with “it happened before the story.” There has been AMPLE TIME to flesh out the MT, explain their past, or even just imply how it used to be, because right now, the only difference seems to be they were starved in the past.)

Something else that goes with the MT being small? Their ranks spread them too thinly, and some of them ranks are fairly arbitrary. Why are hunter and warrior separate? What is the obscure difference between healer and herbalist? Artisan and caretaker really need to be separate—or a thing to begin with?

a. Hunters/warriors. They're not constantly at war. Actually, we haven’t been given any indication these dogs ever fight—check out the allies list on the wiki—and while Vigr says they’d face an attack if they didn’t meet the Guild…what? The wiki itself tells us no one actually has to listen to the Matriarch:

Throughout the years, the Matriarch has set out a set of guidelines, to keep life in Aedra as peaceful as possible. No tribe has to follow these guidelines, but doing so will grant them access to get more help from the capital if needed, and ally bonds with other tribes can be created.

Even if they were out and about, it'd be a bit essential, don'tcha think, for warriors to know how to hunt. Otherwise they'd have to bring hunters with them...and that's just extra weight. Or are hunters meant to stay at the tribe and bring food there? Well, in that case, then the warriors HAVE to do their own hunting—and if the answer is that they already do, why have a separate hunters rank?

b. Herbalist/healer. Let's get one thing out of the way: the limits on healing bark haven't been established, and apparently that shit can heal everything from falling off a fucking waterfall to decades-old scars. It's Applied Phlebotium. That said, it really ignores how primitive the rest of their medicine is. Herbs are not that simple...nor are they always strong/effective. In real life, holistic/herbal remedies are trashed for a reason.

This could've been a really interesting point to expand on. I would even accept Aedra has stronger herbs, like an opium-like plant the dogs use as a painkiller. Eat too much of it, it'll kill you. Of course, I'd lean toward "well, we hope these herbs will work, but there's a 40% chance you'll live. Cross your tail!" (Or toes, since they can probably do that.)

Another thing—you know how people say you shouldn't guess if wild mushrooms are edible? That's because many of them look nearly identical. And one is edible, and the other will cause violent stomach cramps. Or kill you. Give me a dog who's a healer and fucks up herb identification and kills a packmate. Makes skilled herbalist-healers valued. Since Aedra’s as dangerous as a stapler, though, there’s really no use for them either.

More on topic, why are healer and herbalist separate ranks anyway? The healer would just need the herbalist right beside them saying what to do and use. Doctors still know about medicine. They're not pharmacists, of course, but this is a primitive medical system in Home. They’re not messing with fentanyl.

Combine the damn ranks. Maybe make herbalists the healer’s apprentice and they gain that rank once they’ve mastered herb identification and can move on to putting the herbs to use.

Hilariously, this is what the wiki has to say about it:

Both the Herbalist and Healer will have about the same knowledge when it comes to herbs, but the Healer will always stay with the tribe while the Herbalist will go out on long travels to collect the various herbs the tribe is in need of. Healers are often well rounded when it comes to healing the sick and wounded, while Herbalists may also know what herbs can be used to keep meat stored and fresh for a long period of time, how to craft poison and even how to summon malevolent spirits.

So basically, “Basically these ranks are the same.”

c. Artisan/caretaker.

Couldn't be more useless.

Akleja and Ronja's WIP pups weren't in the story at the time those ranks were conceived (no pups at all, actually), and the MT hasn’t had pups in a while...so clearly the caretaker has fuck-all to do most of the time. Mothers would be the caretakers, and during the moments they want to get away from the pups, someone else could watch them for a bit—does there really need to be an entirely separate role for something so brief and rare?

A Caretaker will be in charge of taking care of the young in the tribe. They will stay with newly born offspring and help the mother out if needed. If the parent is absent, the Caretaker will teach the young how to read and write, the laws of the tribe and everything else there is to know.

Oh, silly me. They also teach the young how to fucking read and write.

And artisan? Christ. Worst rank, hands down. Apparently tribes living in the harsh world of Aedra have enough resources to waste on a rank devoted to painting markings for an hour (and how long does this shit last anyway?) and then clocking out. See ya at the timeclock tomorrow, Alva.

According to the wiki, this is what they do:

An Artisan is in charge of keeping the huts strong, re-applying paint to the members and repairing clothing.

Yeah, guys—these dogs can repair clothing. Kique even says they could mend clothing by attaching a tough thread to a piece of bone. Fuck the fact threading a needle requires tying it.

Then again, given we have a tribe whose leader says they need to hunt frequently—yet his tribe regularly holds community LARPing—is anyone surprised no intra-tribe resource/energy economy is taken into account?

d. Gendered rank pairs

Why do we need a male/female pair for lead hunter and lead huntress? Whoever’s best at the job, give it to them. Hunter is gender neutral, for fuck’s sake. Adding –ress/-ess to words that are otherwise neutral is unnecessary.

(But speaking of painting…)

3. The paint is useless.

Okay, two questions:

1.) How are these dogs deft enough to apply paint? In Fjordor’s case, how the fuck is his paint applied? HE LITERALLY LIVED ALONE. (Don't @ me with "it's long-lasting" or "he's been alone for a week." Then again, that last explanation actually works considering how these characters face major life events and fall in love within days. Remember: 100 pages = two hours.)

2.) Why is the paint even necessary? It'd be one thing if they had a splash of color to mark them out to other tribes, but differentiation within? The tribes aren't large enough to need rank-identifying paint. They would know each other by sight. If the tribe was so massive it’d be impossible to know all packmates intimately, sure. In that case, it would be necessary to know someone's rank by sight, especially if the system were based off a strict hierarchy, like passage keepers being the lowest of the low or warriors honored like deities when they stride into camp.  

4. All tribes follow the same hierarchy. Even when they have no reason to.

All the tribes follow the same ranking system, apparently no dogs live as loners or in tribeless family units, everyone is allied sans the MT, a jarl always leads, they use identifying paint within their own tribe—not paint that would mark them out to other tribes—and so on. What kind of networking is going on that makes all these tribes—all of whom seem to inhabit different biomes—follow the same system even when the standard tribe setting may not be beneficial to their culture/survival?

But more on that latter point, the MT was characterized as problematic rebels with no allies, yet they still listen to the Guild...even though they don't respect Axilyah and her group...and while it was said they'd face attack if they refused, we were later told ACTUALLY…—no one has to listen to the Guild! Fjordor even tells Axilyah she's in no place to question him...so exactly what authority does the Guild have? 

Oh, right.

None at all.

Maybe “no one actually has to listen to them” shouldn’t have been created after the pages where Vigr expressed fear of the Guild’s arrival. (Also, so much for the Guild anyway if everyone else turns a blind eye to what goes on in the MT yet still demands those arbitrary scrolls. “We need to know your population but fuck the suffering going on within.”)

5. None of the female MT dogs have lasting trauma.

If there's one things fans on DA loved screaming anytime anyone criticized the female MT dogs' lack of trauma, it was "Not all victims act the same!"

Well, they're right. Not all victims act the same...yet that same exact logic can be applied to Home, where all victims act the same. Literally no one is traumatized. It's obvious they're trying any argument they can (without thinking about what they're actually saying. Congratulations, you played yourself.) to get the opposition to shut up.

This point alone could turn into it’s own thing, but its better lumped under the much larger discussion surrounding sexism and the female characters.

6. Productivity and unnecessary brutality.

The Meteor Tribe: *complains about infertility and health problems* Also the Meteor Tribe: *abuses their members capable of furthering the population*

So who wants to tell me why abuse even goes in the MT? The answer can't be "because they're just assholes." I'm looking for something along the lines of "cheap drama and the creator is as unimaginative as every other male creator out there with a rape fetish." Really, I’m curious—give me a good reason they abuse their female members, especially the ones capable of reproduction.

Abused creatures aren't productive creatures, and we were shown the mothers starving and skinny in flashbacks, yet...

1.) …none of the current members are in an emaciated state.

2.) …why would you abuse members who've proven they can reproduce? You think you'd want to treat them like royalty.

7. The tribe isn't really that inbred.

Yeah, this is another one of those things we've been given the impression is happening but...isn't. If you’ve seen one of the various fan-made family trees, you’ll notice there sure is a lot of outside blood. The inbreeding happens in really only one line—Ranach’s family.

Maybe it's just the science/genetics nerd in me, but this could've opened a lot of interesting and unique plot points—someone's condition starts acting up at the wrong moment or it has dire consequences on themselves or those around them—and it would add an actual sense of urgency to the tribe. As it is, they've been living...just fine and dandy. Ranach says they've been plagued by infertility and inbreeding, yet the tribe isn't actually experiencing any negative effects. Supposedly they have an issue with infertility, yet the tribe is full of outside blood (Fuss, Rogio, and other dogs shown on the chart to have come from outside the tribe)...and their numbers looked fairly large before Kargo the Killer singlehandedly decimated them.

8. Ferah and Kargo were involved in and led the only escape attempt.

Don’t come at me with “we don’t know that!” because nothing implies otherwise. “Actually, there were ten attempts at liberation before Home started” is meaningless. You can pull any explanation on the spot when your story is so shallow. What was it about Kargo and Ferah—both of whom grew up in the same environment as all the others—that made them have the guts to escape?

Aside from being the protagonists.

9. M-m-m-missed opportunities to make the MT threatening.

This story had the potential to be so much deeper had anything been put into it. The MT doesn’t really do much except take others captive…but with so many surrounding tribes, all it’d take is one war to get rid of them. While the MT would have the defense advantage due to their wall, the dogs have fire. Burn that shit down and kill they asses. Everyone else is allied anyway, for fuck’s sake.

Cannibalism. Worshiping dark spirits. Sacrificing caught outsiders. Ambitious for more territory. Rumors they’re not fully canine. Maybe Aedra dogs are very suspicious. Who the fuck knows.

We do know the MT sucks.

10. Ulfr and Ranach pose no threat.

So...why are Fuss and the others afraid to go outside? Because of Ranach and Ulfr?

Okay, they could be a threat...if it weren't for a few things.

1.) Ulfr and Ranach are two dogs.

2.) The tribe has Rogio, Roamer, Vigr, Javo, Galti, Fuss, Fremja, Inna, Alva, Vandi, Ronja, and Jonna. Even if you argue "but the female dogs can't fight!", that's bullshit for two reasons:

a. Rogio, Roamer, Galti, Vigr, Fuss, and Javo still outnumber Ulfr and Ranach.

b. Goddamnit, they're dogs. They know how to fight. It's not like Inna suddenly doesn't know how to use her teeth. It’s not like they’re even traumatized, either, and would freeze up when faced with one of their abusers.

3.) Even if they wouldn't fight well as individuals—and that’s a mighty big “if” since Rogio, Roamer, and Ronja have killed motherfuckers—there's goddamn six times more MT members than Ranach and Ulfr. They could overwhelm them by sheer number.

11. Ulfr's personal code of conduct.

I have one thing to say about this: it was done to avoid drawing a fight scene between Fuss and Ulfr. Like the recent bullshit with Roamer the Mature & Wise and Kargo.

Okay, I have a bit more than one thing to say about this, but it’s not restricted to Ulfr and this sudden character revelation.

12. There’s no depth to the MT characters.

See, the issue with Kique waiting so long to show us individual characterization for the various MT members is that so much of it comes as an ass pull, and we’ve known these characters since the early comic, but they were just background fodder and existed to waste space. 

I can’t even give thumbs up to Jonna since she was shown to be bubbly and peppy and switched to demon overlord in a second…and then that was also forgotten, and now she’s against the guys. Or is she? We saw it with only Ulfr.

But according to Vandi, Javo, Vigr, and Fuss are totally good guys. Once again, none of that was shown. Let’s look at a few things first:

·        Vigr

With Vigr, actually, we got the opposite of what Vandi said. He was among the dogs who roped Ronja, and he was specifically the one who held her down for Arenak—held her down to be raped.

“He was scared of Arenak” doesn’t fly. While we know little of Arenak (and this is something I consider a massive failure, too; we didn’t need tons of screentime—or really any screentime at all—to know he was a super feared guy), and these dogs were all too eager to follow along. 

When Ronja was coming into the tribe to be roped, there was no moment of hesitation on Vigr’s part—even a brief moment of him being reluctant and the other dog telling him to do it would’ve shown not all of them were comfortable.

But that didn’t happen.

·        Fuss

Good ol’ Fuss. Another we’re-told good guy…yet he joined a rapist cult, had ample opportunity (just like Rogio) to leave and didn’t, and rather than busting out his woman, he impregnated her. All while under Arenak’s rule. So he knew from the beginning what environment his offspring would grow up in: the boys would become rapist murderers, and the girls would be sex slaves.

You think his priority would be freeing Vandi rather than fucking her.

·        Rogio

Oh, Rogio, Saint Rogio. He’s going to get his own post probably, but I’ll sum up his being a good dude: 

Rogio was retconned into not having a choice to join the MT even though he had opportunity after opportunity to escape with others or even by himself but he didn’t because his love for Raniboy overpowered his horror at what went on in the tribe so he stayed and led the patrol that fully intended to capture Alva’s sister and said sister’s pups and he was mad at Ronja being made viscountess because that meant Raniboy wasn’t solely his anymore and then he left the tribe and fucked Roamer who was fresh out of a relationship after they had a long retconversation about who was the bigger saint and then he went back to the tribe and is now back at his baron position and no one has any lasting bitterness toward him and Ronja even apologized to him for treating him badly even though she never did.

Yay for Rogio! Such a great guy.

·        Inna, Fremja, Jonna, Alva, and Vandi

They were a hivemind. Not a single one of them wanted to leave during the second freedom run—and Jonna flip-flops on characterization depending on how much Kique needs his fans to say some gross shit—yet now Fremja is having an orgasm over the wilderness, and Vandi, who could’ve been portrayed as a mentor/motherly figure from the beginning, is now doing it. Alva is still pure background fodder and seems to exist just to stare around and be the resident Golden Retriever.

Inna needs to stay off-screen since she has a nice design and I don’t want her to be ruined once she says more than ten words.

 Anyway, I can’t talk about this anymore and am now actively aware of how shitty Rogio is so I’d rather scream about him. If there’s something obvious I missed, let me know. Thinking about that half-assed comic has me braindead. 

Or even if anyone just wants to comment/discuss it, go ahead.

[wishiwasmorticia]

Let’s settle this for once and for all: your moralizing about Spike being a rapist is bullshit because...(a rant)

I’ve seen too many rants about this lately to keep quiet for much longer, so here we go.  ** DISCLAIMER: I do not hate Angel or Bangel. I prefer Spike and Spuffy, but this does not mean I hate Bangel or Bangel fans. I have lots of nice things to say about Angel; I just like him better on his own show, and I prefer him with Cordelia. But I appreciate that you love Angel/Bangel so much. Rock on. Love them as hard as you can. What I DO hate are double standards, uninformed opinions, and such deep emotional investment in a character or a ship that one blindly puts it on a pedestal and deliberately ignores its flaws, while vilifying a rival character or ship for being “problematic,” and while also projecting that onto fans of the rival character/ship, saying THEY’RE blindly putting their fave on a pedestal and rationalizing. If you are an Angel/Bangel fan and you’re happy to live and let live where Spike/Spuffy fans are concerned, you’re cool - this isn’t about you. **

Claiming that Spike is irredeemable because he attempted to rape Buffy is complete bullshit - projection and rationalization rooted in nothing more than the fact that you like Angel better and wanted him to end up with Buffy. A bold claim? How about we deconstruct the anti-Spike/Spuffy rhetoric for a moment...

Let’s begin with the idea that sexual offenders can’t be rehabilitated. I minored in psychology as an undergrad. In 2013, I took Psychology of Atypical Sexuality. The class dealt with things like fetishes and paraphilia, and went all the way through sex offenders. The first week, we had a guest lecturer from New Zealand, a colleague my professor met when she was on sabbatical. They have a completely different way of handling sex offenders there, and have significantly reduced recidivism rates. What are they doing that we’re not in the US? Mostly, it’s the fact that they actually TRY to rehabilitate offenders, and offer them community support and the tools to change, rather than focusing on retribution and humiliation. Only the highest-risk offenders go on registries, and that didn’t even go into effect until last year. This does not mean that the rest get off scott free, but what it does mean is that they accept that there is such a thing as paying one’s debt to society and once they’ve served their sentence, the goal is to help integrate them back into the community and be productive members of society who don’t sexually offend. It’s hard. It takes a lot of therapy. It takes a lot of community support. But it’s doable...if you actually DO it. Americans don’t like to hear that, though. Even though studies show that our current methods of dealing with sex offenders do NOTHING to prevent recidivism and often actually increase it, but we LIKE the sex offender lists and the laws that keep them away from children, because dammit, somebody did something to keep us safe and it satisfies our need for retribution! So if this is the kind of mindset you’re coming from when writing Spike off as nothing but a rapist, I can’t change your mind...but you’re still wrong.  Also, let’s remember that Spike DID NOT have a soul when that happened. You claim that it does not matter - I’m going to debunk that one next - but if we follow the metaphor of New Zealand and community support, that’s pretty much how Spike getting a soul and becoming an integral part of the Scoobies afterward functioned. If you listen closely to his Crazy in the Basement™ ramblings, he knows what he did was wrong and why it was wrong. He learned. He’s capable of change. He can’t operate in the human world the same way he did in the vampire world. The rules are different.  Yes, Spike assaulted Buffy in her bathroom. We (Spike/Spuffy fans) know it. We’re confronted with that every time that episode comes on - and every time some of you have to make yourselves feel better by telling us how sick we make you. About that... Now let’s unpack this idea that Angel is somehow morally better than Spike, and let’s talk about souls. And let’s start with who they were before they became vampires. William Pratt moved in high society circles, was not respected by his peers, and wrote bad poetry for a woman who would never love him back. He was a mama’s boy. He may have tried too hard in some ways, but that’s really the worst we can say about him. Liam, on the other hand, was a pretty shitty person. VERY handsy with the women (hmmmm, sounds strikingly similar to certain complaints I hear about Spike), and was otherwise a lazy, entitled drunk. Yeah, Angel’s doing GREAT in our comparison so far.  As soulless vampires, Spike had a reputation that ALMOST rivaled Angelus’s in terms of torture, etc., but we know for a fact that Angelus is worse. For one thing, we can tell that Angelus was not capable of love and he enjoyed torture. And you are naïve and deluded if you believe that didn’t include rape at some point in his career as the baddest vampire ever. Furthermore, Angelus never would have chosen to change. He LIKED the hedonism and depravity of the vampire life. The soul was the result of a CURSE, meant to make him suffer.  Spike, on the other hand, IS capable of love without a soul. We see that in his devotion to Dru. He also loves Buffy. Yes, it’s a selfish love - BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING VAMPIRE WITHOUT A SOUL. Duh. But he’s not nearly as sadistic as Angel. He clearly displays empathy from time to time. Even pre-chip (again, I refer you to his relationship with Dru).  So let’s talk about ensouled vampires. Angel says he loved Buffy the moment he first saw her. We know that’s when she was a FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL in Los Angeles. I don’t think it says specifically when in the school year that flashback took place, but Buffy could have been as young as FOURTEEN. Ew, much? ENSOULED ANGEL HAS ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR AN ADOLESCENT CHILD. That’s called an ephebophile since y’all are insisting on sex offender rhetoric. And we’re going to pretend that that’s so much better than what Spike did WITHOUT a soul? Yeah, right. Let’s remember that Buffy was a grown woman of 20 when Spike developed feelings for her, and 21 when they’d began their sexual relationship. Granted, Buffy made some bad choices due to being in a bad place from having been DEAD and all, but somehow we forget to talk about the guy who entered into a relationship with an inexperienced teenager. Or maybe you all do talk about that - but somehow that never comes up when some of you go on the attack against Spike and Spuffy fans. Even if we believe that Spike assumed getting his soul would be a quid pro quo deal in terms of winning Buffy’s affections afterward, the bottom line is, something inside told him that he’d never achieve the impulse control he needed without one, and that there’d be no way he’d be WORTHY of Buffy’s love without one. That to me sounds more like Buffy’s standards being the yardstick for what a good man is than it does a trade for her love, but as I mentioned above even if he did go in assuming the soul would make her love him, he understood the reality of the situation afterward, and his actions were more in line with giving her what she needed instead of taking what he wanted.  But! But! But! Spike is back to his old tricks in ATS with Harmony!!! So, what you’re saying is, you’ve never known anyone who’s gone to rehab, who’s had good days and bad days, and maybe has fallen off the wagon, especially after suffering a trauma....maybe like DEATH? And then being recorporialized? No? Well, me either, at least the death and recorporialization part - but if we think about anyone in ANY behavior modification situation, yes, relapse is common. ESPECIALLY when you’re cut off from your support system and surrounded by people who treat you like shit. Just saying. As already stated in the thing about how New Zealand has programs that handle sex offenders differently, community support is crucial to the success of reducing recidivism. Spike didn’t have that in Season 5 of ATS. If we keep up with the rehabilitation metaphor, Season 5 Spike is comparable to what happens to sex offenders who can’t get jobs because of their records and end up homeless because the registries don’t leave them anywhere to live. These stressors often lead to reoffending. But you’re right - they DESERVE all of that. So what if that makes them continue to be dangerous even though there are alternatives that are more effective? So what stopped Angel from reoffending when he had a soul? BECAUSE IT WAS PART OF THE FUCKING CURSE THAT HE WOULD FEEL HIS VICTIMS’ SUFFERING!!!! Spike is under the constraints of no such curse, though he does admit to feeling remorse. Angel’s gypsy curse is the ensouled equivalent of having a chip in his head like Spike did when he was a vampire. Think about it. Too bad it wasn’t enough to stop him from macking on little girls, huh?  Double Standards: They’re Not Just for Breakfast Angel Anymore. In the final analysis, Angel isn’t REALLY any better than Spike in a side-by-side comparison. But if we take shipability with Buffy out of the equation, let’s expose some more hypocricy where the rhetoric against Spike is concerned: WILLOW: Gets addicted to magic, gets Dawn hurt in a car wreck, turns evil and MURDERS WARREN BY SKINNING HIM ALIVE. Maybe he had it coming, but if rape is rape, then murder is murder, AMIRITE? Status: FORGIVEN BY THE FANDOM. ANDREW: Member of the misogynistic Trio who went so far as to turn Warren’s ex girlfriend INTO A SEX SLAVE ZOMBIE. Did all kinds of shit to Buffy. MURDERS HIS PARTNER IN CRIME, JONATHAN. Switches sides after becoming their hostage, and lookie there, he’s a fucking JUNIOR WATCHER after helping to close the Hellmouth. Status: FORGIVEN BY THE FANDOM.

FAITH: Murder and mayhem everywhere she went! Literally had no conscience until she checked into Angel’s One-Man Rehab™ and then turned herself in to pay her debt to society in prison. FORCED  HERSELF ON ANGEL in order to try to turn him into Angelus. USED BUFFY’S BODY TO RAPE RILEY! Not to worry: she turns a new leaf and helps to save the world. Status: FORGIVEN BY THE FANDOM. (Wait, what? I thought rapists couldn’t be forgiven? Oh, wait - that’s only if you’re a man and don’t happen to be the one you ship with the Slayer.) I could go on, but hopefully you’re getting the picture. If you’ve forgiven/accepted these characters in the face of what they’ve done, your feelings against Spike have NOTHING to do with attempted sexual assault or any other crime he’s committed. It’s time to come clean about that. Really. Those characters have atoned. So has he. Let it go. On the other hand, if you hate all these characters for the unforgivable shit they’ve done, then good for you for being consistent - but your rhetoric had better match your moral compass.  The TL/DR version: It’s okay to love something that’s problematic - but ENGAGE WITH THAT! Don’t put it on a perfect pedestal while vilifying a rival character or ship, or the people who love it. Check your own biases. Spike and Spuffy fans know full well what Spike did and have grappled with it, and we still came out on #TeamSpike and #TeamSpuffy. You don’t have to agree. You don’t have to switch sides. You don’t even have to like Spike. Just...STOP IT WITH YOUR MORALIZING AND YOUR DOUBLE STANDARDS, and be honest about the fact that it’s because you think Angel is hotter or you’d rather see him and Buffy together because of the tinglys they give you, or whatever the real reason is. Quit pretending it’s about rape or misogyny.  Also, if anyone is going to be a coward and send me anon hate over this, don’t waste your time, because any anon hate is going to be summarily deleted without acknowledgement. 

[itstimetowatch]

Not Pictured

So this is going to be weird going into an episode where I’m pretty damned certain of the outcome. I think the only thing I haven’t figured out is the “Cliff’s Briefcase” thread. It was stolen by a prostitute hired by a guy that kind of looks like someone that Aaron Echolls once shared a jail cell with. I don’t see how that ties back to anything unless it was something I missed last episode when I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to the courtroom scenes?

Anyway, on with the finale!

Mr Manning is offering the reward for Woody? The child abuser wants the child molester found that badly? I guess this falls under the heading of Even Evil Has Standards. Also, shouldn’t the state of California be the one offering? Maybe this is just preemptive. The state’s reward will take too long to process so Manning is getting the jump on it now before the trail goes cold.

HAHAHAHA! Oh, Vinnie! Please never change! Please be in the movie ten years later every bit the actual worst person ever!

Woody had Chlamydia? So on top of all the other horrible shit he did, Beaver also raped Veronica.

Oh and we’re back in Veronica’s Dreamland. At least she’s not on the bus anymore. That was really long and seemingly pointless, other than an excuse to bring back Duncan and Lilly one more time. Also, the idea of Veronica and Wallace not being friends makes me incredibly sad.

Mr Underhill? How dare you besmirch the name of Frodo Baggins by associating your disgusting self with him.

“I don’t know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.” “That’s why I rarely go to Texas.”

I’ve heard at least three writers names called out during this ceremony.

So this is yet another example of Sheriff Shithead being a dickbag, right? Like they’ve known Weevil did it for, what, days now and they wait until the middle of graduation to come drag him out in handcuffs? They could have arrested him anytime but Lamb wants to humiliate him as publicly as possible.

Little Dick isn’t in Veronica and Logan’s class? Or he just can’t walk at graduation because he has to take too many summer school classes? I mean, I remember him failing physics but were there more? Because most of the time if you’re just one class short the school will still let you walk and just hold off on your diploma until you make up the class you failed.

“A PONY?!”

It seems weird seeing Veronica in a dress outside of like Prom. Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s the only time we’ve ever seen her in a dress, dances and other formal wear occasions, of which graduation is not one?

Wallace is just going to track down Jackie? In Paris? A city of like 12 million people or whatever? Wallace, I know you’ve watched Veronica work a lot and you have picked up some not inconsiderable skills along the way, but with this, I think you’ve overshot your potential.

And apparently, Jackie’s in Brooklyn, not Paris… and when she said she learned the birds and the bees the hard way… not only was she pregnant but she’s a teen mom? How is that in any way in keeping with the character we were introduced to at the beginning of the season? And does Terrence think she’s actually in Paris? Or is that just the “official story” that they’re telling everyone?

I don’t think that’s how legal emancipation works, Aaron. Once you’re out, you’re out. Also, Logan is almost certainly eighteen by now. He has his own money left to him by his mother. I mean, he may need to move out of the Neptune Grand and into something a little more permanent and less costly, like an apartment, but then again, so do you as you undoubtedly have a mountain of legal bills forthcoming and no career left to speak of.

A deer’s head, Woody? Just be caught already.

Yep, okay, called it. Like I said, I was 99% sure but confirmation is always good.

Hart Hanson is another producer’s name… I think it’s also the name of the kid who taped Lynn’s suicide, who mysteriously turned back up last episode. In which case, he’s a sophomore and almost certainly is not listed with the phone company.

Cassidy BEAVER, you son of a bitch, on top of everything else, you do not get to shoot… fucking anyone, not Mac, not Veronica, not even fucking Dick! (Also, what did I say about him having plans to put one in Dick’s head at graduation?)

Um, just over halfway through the episode and we’re already up to the big climactic showdown with the bad guy?

“A better place”? You piece of shit! All that girl did was love you!

Oh yeah, I didn’t think about the fact that Beaver would have to have killed Curly.

Um, how long has this bomb been on Woody’s plane? Because those things get inspected regularly, whether they get used or not.

First of all, that plane wouldn’t be visible in the Neptune skyline yet. Secondly, WHAT THE ACTUAL EVERLOVING FUCK?!

Beaver, if you want her to jump, you’re going to have to stop tasing her, genius.

Good riddance, Shit Bird!

Okay, so Mac is alive! Thank God for that! Although Beaver has almost certainly passed along his sex-associate psychological trauma to Mac, so he’s just the fucking gift that keeps on giving after he’s a stain on the fucking sidewalk.

And speaking of sex-associated psychological trauma, this show has forced me to endure seeing with my own eyes Kendall and Aaron together, which I could have gone my whole life (and several more besides) without.

Oh, damn! Well good riddance to that pile of shit, too!

CW? As in The CW? The network that aired Season Three? “It’s a done deal.” Was this an announcement? (I mean, I know CW, Clarence Wiedman, but I can’t think of another good reason for them to phrase it that way.)

I have some pretty serious issues with the idea of Duncan ordering Aaron’s murder. Kidnapping your child to keep her out of the hands of monsters and living on the run from the law is one thing…

Yeah, none of that makes Jackie’s characterization from the beginning of the season make any more sense.

KEITH! HALLELUJAH!

“And pepper spray, in case we run into that Trump character.” GOOD CALL, VERONICA!

Keith, you are not standing Veronica up for something to do with Kendall Goddamn Casablancas! What the hell, my dude?

Okay, so there were a few surprises after all. I didn’t expect Aaron to get clipped. Once they dragged him into this season of the show, I figured he would become an on-going menace in Veronica’s life, but I guess not. I also didn’t expect a resolution to Veronica’s rape. I thought that would spill over into next season where I’m still assuming that the Hearst Rapist is still an on-going problem, maybe there was an upperclassman at Neptune that graduated when Veronica was a sophomore and went to college at Hearst or something and he could be a suspect.

So… this episode was good but felt kind of lacking to me after my epiphany last episode, and then Veronica got the message to go up to the roof and the whole thing kind of came apart for me. There’s no good reason why Veronica would go up there. She did it because the script needed her to have a private menacing conversation with Aaron and then needed her to be in danger of being killed by Beaver. It’s yet another example of Veronica doing something she’s smart enough to know better because the script needs her to be in peril. It’s happened a lot this season and doing it in random, middle-of-the-season episodes is one thing, but in the season finale? No, sorry.

Then she gets to the roof and there’s no good reason why Beaver doesn’t just shoot her in the head. He doesn’t need to know what she knows about him. She’s not explaining it to him, she’s explaining it to the audience and that’s just bad writing.

Beaver’s plan doesn’t really make a ton of sense, either. If he’s so scared that Marcos and Peter are going to spill his secret, why does he wait to kill them? Why do they wait to be killed? Why he wait until Woody’s on his way back to Neptune to blow up the plane instead of on the way to his hideout? Why does let Woody live in the first place? Incorporation/Phoenix Land Trust came way later. Why set-up Woody (or anyone, for that matter) for the bus crash when a criminal investigation of Woody would be exponentially more likely to reveal Woody’s paedophilia than just letting an incompetent sheriff bumble his way through a pile of circumstantial evidence for the next couple of years?

Full thoughts on Season Two will be forthcoming.