#i mean of course his medication is important for him to function

[xythlia]

my bf becomes like a fuckin task robot when he takes his adderall it freaks me out every time like who body snatched u

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 3, Wave 2, Poll 6

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included. 

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Eda Clawthorne-The Owl House

Qualifications:

She has a magical chronic disorder which has flare-ups, is mitigated by taking medication (potions), and has similar side effects to many real disorders such as fatigue, greying hair, and physical impairment (drains magic, a natural ability of *most witches). Unlike in other stories however, her condition is NOT ever completely cured. It does evolve and become more manageable over the course of the story, but she still experiences symptoms from it. Eda also loses one of her arms later in the story. She does get a replacement hook, but it is never shown whether she has a functional prosthetic or not. Most likely, she only has one fully functioning arm after this. As for being queer, she is in a relationship with a nonbinary person and is all but confirmed bisexual (has a secret box with the bi flag on it seriously why else would she have this). Also the owl house has a Lot of queer characters in it and I mean. just look at her. I would be surprised if she wasn't queer somehow.

Bisexual, and has a curse that affects her day to day life

Bi & lost arm and has a chronic illness metaphorically

Propaganda:

Has canonically dated both men and a non-binary person. Her curse affects her ability to use magic (and at one point outright stops it), which is very important in witch life. Said curse also causes her body parts to fall off sometimes. Many have said her curse is like a metaphor for depression but really it's more like a magic version of a physical disability (although I wouldn't be surprised if she actually also had depression).

Uuuuh she’s great and stuff idk I can’t propaganda well sorry

Ballister Boldheart-Nimona (Flim)

Qualifications:

He has a boyfriend (and then they have a sort-of-breakup but they're back together by the end) and he has a prosthetic arm.

He’s gay and missing an arm.

He’s explicitly gay, in love with a man. He loses his arm then builds himself a prosthetic while on the run like a badass.

His boyfriend cut his arm off :( he uses a prosthetic now.

His arm got chopped off after being falsely accused of killing the queen, he spends the rest of the movie with a prosthetic metal arm. His arm was also chopped off by his lover, Ambrosius Goldenloin, during said false assassination.

His boyfriend cut off his arm

Canonically has a boyfriend and built his own prosthetic

Qualifies by both being canonically disabled (amputee) + canonically gay

Propaganda:

Please plz plz vote for him

His boyfriend cut off his arm. He made himself a prosthetic. He used his arm to block someone’s sword. He kissed his boyfriend. He has sad wet cat eyes, which isn’t relevant but still. He has them.

He’s so GOOD even though he’s having like the worst day ever (specifically talking about movie but webcomic also applies). He has the biggest wettest eyes how can you not root for him????

People love him! He kinda looks like a sad, poor little cat. A real soggy wet kitten man.

Let's see. He and Ambrosius are lovers, or at least boyfriends, from the moment they're introduced. Ballister gets his arm chopped off by Ambrosius during the false assassination. Ballister spends the rest of the movie trying to convince Ambrosius and the kingdom of his innocence, with a metal arm replacing his missing one. It originated the phrase "Arm Chopping is not a love language!" Did I mention he's a main character too?

Is a science nerd, built his own prosthetic arm with his non-dominant hand, accidentally adopted a trans chaos demon of a 1000yo being

A knight, Nimona's best friend and father figure of sorts, but the plot mostly revolves around him- Ballister is framed for murder and has to hide while trying to figure out who framed him and how to prove he's innocent. Nimona becomes his sidekick (he didn't want one, she just showed up at his place one day like a very chaotic stray cat) and together they form a great duo against the corrupt government. This is complicated by Ballister's ex Ambrosius, who accidentally cut off Ballister's arm and is a bit brainwashed by government propaganda. Oops. You should watch Nimona it's great 💞🦈

The qualifications and propaganda paragraphs correspond, @foulfirerebel is the fifth submitter, and there were at least 7 others.

[mychlapci]

(If you got two asks about this headcanon right next to each other they're both me, but tumbler crashed while I was writing it the first time and idk if it sent or not. But at least now that I'm no longer mad about the crash I can word it much better)

Saw a T-cogless bot in TFOne who looks an awful lot like Ratchet and it's driving me insane and I can't stop thinking about him because as someone trying to go into the engineering field while not being a straight cis dude (™) and while being disabled I can't help but imagine a T-cogless Ratchet in a similar situation, what with how cogless bots were discriminated against in the movie.

He can't transform, which means he probably doesn't have access to most of his medical tools and he wouldn't be able to carry patients in his ambulance bay. And we don't know how much the functions of medic hands are tied up with the T-cog (I'm guessing a lot). On top of that, with T-cogless bots all being sent down to the mines, you have to wonder how hard he had to work to even become a doctor at all in that universe.

How many bots told him he wouldn't be able to do it? That he'd never be as good a doctor as a bot with a T-cog? How many times was he told to give up because he was born wrong?

How much harder would he have had to fight to prove he could even go to med school in the first place? And what about when he got there? Discriminatory professors won't hesitate to lower your grades because you're too different- no matter how good of a student you actually are. How much harder would he have to work to even be seen on the same level as his fellow students?

Would he be harassed by the teachers? The other students? Would he even be given the same accommodations as them? Would he be kicked out of group projects, would teachers refuse to help him if he has trouble with certain lessons? Would he be expected to do his homework down in the mines even if he was a student? Would he have to work while studying? How tight are the rations down in the mines, on top of having their schedule so tightly controlled? Would he have to take all his tests on less fuel and sleep then the other students?

The movie literally opens with Orion having to break into a library of all things, and now I can't stop wondering if they'd even bother to give Ratchet the textbooks he'd need, or if those would have to be stolen too.

And after he graduated, did he keep working in the mines because he wanted to help people like him, or did they just not trust him to fix up the “more important” bots?

How much worse would his workaholic attitude be if all his early years were spent working twice as hard for half the credit? He already ties so much of his self worth to his job, how much worse would this situation make that?

I just can't stop thinking about a Ratchet that has to fight tooth and nail to even be acknowledged as a good doctor, when we the audience know damn well he's one of the best on Cybertron.

oh yeah, we've touched upon a cogless Ratchet before. honestly, i just assumed that there would be cogless doctors working in the mines with the other cogless bots, who are trained to remedy mining injuries and not much else... so maybe Ratchet would've gotten his training, but it would be more of a "guy with a 3 week cpr course" kind of situation, meaning he isn't really a doctor... but of course, he wants to be. I mean, the amount of bots he sees die because they didn't send a real doctor to help in time, it has to be a lot and it has to be devastating. Enrolling in a real medical school would be difficult, maybe even impossible... maybe he has to lie, attending his classes on-line, never showing his face.

[local-diavolo-anon]

Hi! if you're still willing to take requests for fnaf, may I please have some Sun (and Moon too if you want) x reader headcanons in which the reader has autism and adhd? thank you!

Yes! I absolutely still take request headcanons! And of course you may!

(i will focus on how the two of them will navigate with you your daily life for this)

Daycare attendant x adhd-autistic reader!

Being a robot trained to care after children of all ages, the daycare attendant is aware of what autism and adhd can mean for a person, and what they might need

Their caretaker role always takes priority over pretty much anything else they are doing, and mosre often than not you're the one who they are caring after

Something they learned early on was how white noise and background sounds helped you relax, especially when it was time to sleep

Both of then would alway be eager to join you in anything you do after all, and this wouldn't be any different, whichever is out will lay next to you and will craddle you close to feel the low whir of their internal vents

Sun is very careful, and maybe a little neurotic as well, this leads him to file long mental lists of things about you, like which textures make your toes curl in disgust and which you'd melt for, this both for when he is to cook for you and when/if he choosing fabric for anything

Be it a new piece of clothing in a store or raw fabric to sew something with

Because of how nervous he ALSO is neither of you lacks in stim toys, whichever you might prefer

He probably has and broke more than you ever owned tho, the grip strength of a 6 and a half feet tall robot is pretty strong

And just like you it is not hard to get overwhelmed for an anxious, neurotic robot, so both of you learned what to do when the over is at their limit

Honestly you and the daycare attendant share a lot more than what you initially believed, at least "function" wise

Something you complete each other however, is in caring for chores, be them housechores or on the job (if you're an employee at the megaplex)

Your short term memory loss and executive disfunction can make taking care of ir/regular chores hard, in a way or another, and sometimes you forget important or big things

Sun's memory however, being digital, is perfect, and his obsession for order pretty much compensate anything you may have forgotten about or accidentally overlooked

He does not mind it, and actually enjoys doing extra things since it helps him calm down, however he will also help you keep a calendar and/or an agenda if it reassures you

Moon is more of a gremlin and will lean on your gremlin side more than sun

If you like to collect things, whichever those may be, he might "borrow" something from the megaplex' lost and found, or things he found on the streets that he think you might like and bring it to you

Even just a cool enough rock can be something he deems worthy of your attention

Something he just puts those trinkets in your pockets and you will end up finding a hanful of stuff next time you put your hands in there

Moon is also the ones that has more time to listen to you infodump about whatever you're interested at the moment, be it a movie, a tv serie, a cartoon or a videogame

this is also because he will use that knowledhe to make obscure references at random that he knows only you can understand

If you take any tipe of meds, Sun is the one that WILL remind you to take them, the idea of you forgetting a medication, whichever that might be, terrifies him

It actually terrifies them both, Moon however is always left a mental note by Sun to tell him the meds have been taken and he doesn't have to stress over it

Another thing they wpuld probably do, is keep track of your eating and drinking schedule, since you may forget to eat or drink for days at the time if not reminded

That's definitely another thing where their caregiver nature kicks in perfecrly, and they'd both make sure you get a good meal, be it by reminding you, cooking with you, or doing it in your place (they want to feel included, they don't like to be alone, neither of them does)

I covered as many topics as i could here, both because as someone with adhd i'd give a kidney to be in their care, and because i really like to wroite these

i hope these are of your liking!

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

So When are We Gonna Talk About-

How Ozzie was likely the 'blueblood prick' that confirmed/rammed home Blitz's bias and bigotry/classism towards higher ranking hellborn/signs? How, after the fire, when Fizz was healing and in the hospital, getting to know Ozzie who was getting to know (and fall in love with) him, he likely found out that the fire was set by a 'jealous prick' who 'just left him to die'? How Fizz, when he could speak and function again, was likely in pain and in tears, betrayed, completely and fully disabled, likely threw hate and vitriol and bitterness towards fucking Blitzo. How Ozzie, who does have issues with being over-protective and not always respecting boundaries ("lil sus, babe") likely took it upon himself to keep Fizzie 'safe' from the person who caused him stress and pain? Think about it. Consider this. Viewer bias, for one. We see Blitz and Fizz get into an actual fight- Ozzie, remember, hasn't actually seen this go down. So the moment where he tells Stolas 'no, my partner- business partner, FizzaRolli- hates your imp guy. Haaaatttes." is previously established knowledge.

Combine this with 'you've lived rent-free in Fizzie's head for years' and you start getting a picture painted. Blitzo has been nothing but a source of stress, pain, and anxiety for Fizzie for how long? Fizzie, who thinks, at least in some dark corner of his mind, that Blitz may have blown him up on purpose. Fizzie, who probably spilled that narrative over onto Ozzie, who painted Blitz in what was likely the worst light possible, probably right off the bat. Fizzie who had- and maybe still has?- bad pain days. Fizzie who struggles with anxiety and trauma. Fizzie who has psycho fucking fans. Is it such a stretch to think of Fizzie, angry, hurt, misreading the situation, twisting it in his mind, painting Blitz as a person to be avoided, mistrusted, disliked? Is it such a stretch to think of Blitz, kicked from his home, from the hospital, hurting, heartbroken, exhausted, guilty, alone for the first time ever, trying to find the one person he has left- his one friend. His best friend. Hell, the guy he's at least a little in love with, from that card and flower we saw. Finding him shacked up with a fucking sin. A sin that glowers at him, that crosses his arms and says he doesn't want to see you. In Blitz's mind, Ozzie is speaking for Fizzie. Ignoring what Blitz wants, what he says, and, in Blitz's mind, ignoring what Fizzie wants, as well. Acting as if he has full say in the situation, full control, like he can just dismiss Blitz because he's stronger, he's more important, he's bigger. Sound familiar?

Of course, we, the viewer, know that if this happened it's not because Ozzie is mean, or evil, or controlling, but because here is the person that hurt Fizzie, that Fizzies loathes, and he has the balls to show up here?

But Blitz has this magic ability to take everything the wrong way, too hard, and to heart. He doesn't want to see you. So, is it such a stretch to see Blitz doing what Blitz does when he's hurt? When he's sad and scared? Get angry. Snarl back. "You don't speak for him. You don't know him. You can't just toss me out." You can't just ignore me because I'm an imp. You can't just walk over me, talk over me. I'm hurt, too. I want my friend. But that just shows Ozzie that Fizzie was right. Blitz is angry, he's dangerous, he's got a shit attitude and he needs to get the fuck out of here. So Ozzie doesn't bother to stress Fizzie out with the truth- that he just had to throw out the one guy Fizzie has made it very clear he never wants to see again. (Even when, inside, Fizzie does want to see him, is desperately waiting for Blitz to show up, who may not even remember saying half the shit he said depending on how bad his pain was, on what medications or spells he was on/under.)

And that's how you end up with 'they told me I wasn't allowed to see you.' 'They never said you came to see me!' That's how you end up with 'Fuck you blue blood pricks, who just take what you want (my best friend, the guy I loved) and play with our feelings because we're smaller and less important.'

[mylarena]

absolutely fucking ruined by the concept of soap thinking that ghost shouldve left him behind in las almas. him not understanding why ghost waited for him. him being confused the entire time, but not questioning it because it wasnt the time for it. he was more of a liability than a help, considering his bullet wound.

why did ghost lead him through the city when he couldve just gotten out by himself with a lot less risk of getting caught? he supposes the "we're a team" could be an answer, that ghost felt obligated to keep him alive, but with the amount of danger ghost had been in? he logically shouldve cut his losses and gotten the hell out of dodge. a sergeant isnt worth as much as a lieutenant - soap isnt worth as much as ghost.

it doesnt make sense to him. but he never asks- never feels like its the right time, despite them spending so much of it together.

and isnt that fucking baffling as well? ghost hangs out with him. he seems like hes with him more often than not. hes always ghosting - haha - him, always watching him from the corner when the team goes out for drinks, always on comms during missions, always checking his injuries after he gets out of medical.

soap teases him for getting soft with him sometimes, ("so you do like me?" "i like you alive."), but he never makes fun of him. if it were ghost who was injured so often, he thinks he would be the same way. but ghost isnt- hes too well trained and careful to be in and out of medical as much as soap is. reasonably so, considering his rank. hes important to the team, one of the essential cogs to keep the group functioning.

its during a mission that soap finally breaks and asks.

it had been something fairly simple- clear intel, a solid plan, just something in-and-out. but the intel wasnt clear enough and the whole situation went to shit. they were ambushed, and soap was caught on the other side of the battlefield, shot and immobilized. the place was crawling with hostiles, soap was barely staying hidden in some tiny office room that they hadnt checked.

when ghost asked for his status, urgent, he gave him a straight answer: he was incapacitated and wouldnt be able to make it to evac with the rest of the squad, and he was surrounded by enemies that would likely find him soon. he asked for ghosts own situation with evac, knowing that the longer they waited for him the more danger they put the entire squad in. ghost told him that the squad was leaving as they spoke, and so soap expected the line to go silent soon. but it didnt- ghost kept talking to him, keeping him awake. there was no noise of a vehicle in the background either, which confused him, but his mind wasnt really at its peak at the moment, so he didnt really pay attention. what he paid attention to was ghosts shitty dad jokes and the banter he prompted.

he lost track of time and sat in a sort of daze, having lost a lot of blood and still losing it. then ghost asked what building he was in. he mindlessly answered to the best of his ability and waded through his thoughts for a few moments before realizing the implications of the question. so he asked, voice slurred.

"wait, why d'y'need t' ken?"

"because im almost there, johnny."

and soap is even more confused.

"ye didn' go with th' rest o' th' team?"

" 'course not, johnny."

"b't... i'm..."

"what room are you in?"

"i- uh... one o' th' off'ces.... whdya mean, o'course not?"

"i wasn't going to leave you behind, johnny."

theres a short pause. soap can feel his eyes getting heavier.

"did you think i left?"

"...wel'... aye. ...sir."

"why would i-"

"mmmmsir... gettin' real sleepy."

"shit. stay awake, sergeant. keep your eyes open for me, im almost there."

"y's're?"

"absolutely certain, johnny. stay awake for me, yeah? ill be there in a few seconds."

"thou' y'left."

when the door to the office opens, he sluggishly moves for his gun, before be sees the comforting sight of ghosts mask. he drops his arm back down to his side

"lt."

ghost sounds breathless in his reply,

"johnny."

the man is by his side in an instant, quickly running his eyes over him before putting pressure on his bullet wound.

while he does makeshift medical treatment, he does his best to keep soap awake. keeps him talking. occasionally patting his cheek when his head starts to list sideways.

by the time hes done, soap is barely hanging on by a thread. he cant carry his own weight when ghost hefts him up, letting out an indiscernible mumble when he lifts him up and starts on his way out. he doesnt stay awake much longer than that- ghost is warm and hes cold, and the swaying of his gait is soothing. ghost asks him to stay awake- orders him to, borderline pleads him to- but its a losing battle. he passes out, trusting ghost to keep him safe.

later, when he wakes up in the medbay, he'll end up being asked why he didnt think ghost was coming back for him. but for now hes out like a damn light.

[transingthoseformers]

Basically, after Chromedome tried to throw him off a cliff, which led to Ultra Magnus having to pull him out of a Constructicon pile instead of getting to berate Prowl, he disappeared. Locked down and hid so the trial went on with Prowl watching the livestream and only emailing a few people. By the time people are looking around for him, Optimus, after their brief talk and his email to check on the Lost Light, which led to baby time, he's gone fully underground.

Ironhide made a few attempts but assumed the Starscream thing is why they aren't speaking. Wheeljack tried to eventually but couldn't find him. Only when Optimus Prime suspiciously side eyes Starscrema do people at large notice Devstator is missing.

This unnerves everyone, and Chromedome gets a lot of incredible side eye because the last confirmed sighting was Chromedome attempting to push him off a cliff.

Prowl showing up nearly a year later when First Aid and company temporarily show up to Luna-1 to make contact and find it crawling with Consructiprowl Babies and a Spider Baby with Fort Max attempting to learn knitting from Prowl (he likes the number patterns) and Tarantulas (the silk has multiple uses including medical and construction which he discovered with Hook and Mixmaster that Tara is getting on with a startling amount). He is then forced to Zoom Cybertron and Optimus Prime as proof, and everyone has to deal with the fact he keeps pausing to say things like "Black Arachnia do not bite your brother. Grimlock take your sister to Max. He brought home some turbofoxes for her to practice hunting on his last trip." and "Excuse me. I must go remove my son from Red Alert’s office. He is attempting to build a functional suspension bridge out of the extra comm parts again." and bending out of sight to whisper "Ask your sire. Mix should have some juice boxes. If not torment Max. He keeps a stash he thinks I am unaware of." while occasionally bouncing a round many legged black and gold blob with teeth occasionally.

Of course, it could have been resolved sooner if anyone thought to ask Springer who got a group zoom months ago to introduce him to his new sibling.

Informed to please tell us important developments doesn't improve things because then a year and a half later he sends out a birth announcement of Chase and Strongarm who were born from "a mutually agreed upon by all committed parties resolving of emotional and sexual tension from myself and Fortress Maximus".

The Luna-1 Polycule is incomprehensible to most.

Prowl spends him time sending out judgemental and vaguely ominous unasked for memos with his opinions on current and sometimes secret events to people as he calls in his spies and continues to den down mostly in relative secret and peace because he'd probably murser Megatron and anyone else pinging his danger sense on sight given his current active protocols.

Which is fair as hell, I mean as much as an asshole Prowl is known to be it's fair he bolted after being thrown off a cliff

Also they livestreamed the trial

Makes sense he'd still wanna figure out what's going on with the LL

Optimus: Starscream

Starscream: ?

Optimus: what did you do

Starscream: what do you mean "wHaT dId yOu dO"

Optimus: I mean, Starscream what did you do

I mean logical to think Chromedome may be at fault because the cliff pushing

The fact that we set a (relatively to million year robots) short carrying period is leading to so many cool baby boom consequences

Also awww on Fort Max trying to knit, also makes sense Prowl and Tara would like to knit

Less aww and more shhffjfjf on Mix and Hook learning the more useful applications of alien spider silk via getting freaky with Tarantulas

First Aid: oh so you were here

Yess on all the cute little pause moments, dear fuck yes that's adorable as hell Prowl it is it is

Sparkling!BlackArachnia has to be so cute too like yes

oh Springer. I hope he's got like a notebook to keep track of this mess of a family too.

Mutually agreed upon by all committed partners resolving of the emotional and sexual tension from myself and Fort Max

Aka, those two were advised to fuck each other's brains out

Love how Prowl has grown into this sort of mostly remote role into this with most of his interactions outside of the moon being online but him certainly wanting to know what's going on. Especially since for him, parenthood has ultimately made him even more aggressive and anxious towards those he does not like. I pity anyone who arrives on Luna-1 meaning harm.

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Dan don't be so casual!!! Your brother is worried about you!!!!

Goddamn Jessie please don't actually go sacrifice for your brother out of guilt.

Dan stop being so fucking casual!!!

Okay side note that has nothing to do with anything. But you can leave bullets inside people, it really depends on where they are. Usually the worst thing is the damage they caused moving. Though I assume the fact that they are silver does mean you should remove them from a werewolf.

Far be it from me to call Jessie a liar, but I do not believe for a second that if Lola tells him it's an unfair deal he is not still gonna take it.

"you wanna eat my ass, fine." tell me there were now kiss motions made on that please!

Why do we need fucking cop to convince everyone they need to get healed. 😂😂

John just being rational is once again the thing that works on Lola and her freak out and refusing medical attention.

😂😂 Aviva getting medical help out of pettiness.

Aviva, John would do anything for you, making a bit of ectoplasm is probably the least.

Oh John, my precious emotionally repressed baby, just casually using up dead bodies like you do.

The goblins taking good care of turkey tail. 😭

All this magic is crazy but really cool!!!

This fucking mouse though. His little hat is cute, but he is a LIAR!!!

John once again knowing exactly what to say to get to Lola.

😭😭😭 The mouse wants to save her! I take it back lil moussy.

Me and Aviva are on the same page! The cop wanting a drink with Lola!!! It's the grenadine, it has to be.

Grenadine with energy drink shots. This sounds like the idea you have once you're already way too drunk to function normal the next day and then you think this will stave off a hangover.

They're both going upstairs. 👀 They are gonna sleep in the same bed!

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Fuck me, John. Why are you so good at talking to everyone for their benefit??? Like no offense but you're so bad in dealing with yourself.

Ohhh Jessie Jessie Jessie. Seems like a bad idea to insult an owl.

I love it when they role exceptional successes!!! Especially when it is when they're doing smth for someone else.

It's so interesting to finally see some stronger emotions with John. The excitement you hear when he talks about smashing his mom's signs is rare.

Sword in the stone-ing that bat into the windshield with everything that's going on, so petty. 😂

"Carl, this man is a werewolf, do you think he's gonna fuck off?" 😂😂 made me laugh out loud, and people looked at me like I was crazy.

He just ended Carl in one shot!

Sure, not feeling pain and going numb is definitely the healthy thing to do after cold blooded murder...

They're extra giggly today, are they nervous?

Also Tim is the irl Miles of that group, telling everyone to focus. 😂

Oh my God!!! They are not fucking around, Aviva just chopping a dead man's legs and hands off. (btw why just stop at the hands at this point and not go full arms?)

You know if you hear about a matter wizard and a wizard of space and time the matter wizard kind of sounds like a dweeb, but actually it's fucking badass.

I am screaming! Fucking Ramona, really thinking giving him a dad will stop him from this. Like she's smart, but she's fucking stupid.

Oh no Lola's worst moment is so awful, and so sad.

The sound of rolling dice is so good.

I hate Ramona so fucking much. She is delusional at this point thinking she's doing the right thing and all creepy calm. Why are parents the fucking worst?!?!

To be fair I like to hate Ramona though, I love hating awful parents.

This fucking magic dagger tho! And Dan himself too obviously but omg.

"I only remember things that are important." yikes!

We love a villain that believes they working for the greater good.

"Consequences are for lesser beings." woooooooooh I hate this bitch.

SHE'S JUST DEAD?!?!

Oh no of course she's not.

The fact that John really doesn't feel pain rn is really so much like his mom. He's on the edge.

Noooo Aviva can't die. 😭

Not the look of confusion, that is kind of sad.

Nope nope, I am in a store rn I cannot listen to this. Will continue listening when I get home

Jesus fuck! I was right to not listen to the last 15 minutes in the store. Good lord. 😭😭

I'm laughing and crying at the same time at Jessie just being gone.

Rob shut your fucking face 😭 (said lovingly obviously)

John casting a spell to finish all this, while having Aviva in his arms. STOP 😭

What??? *insert jlaw gif of what does it mean?!?*

What what what??? Ernie???? NOOOOOOOO Rob stop!! This is illegal!!!! What are you doing???

Okay... But this means there is gonna be a sequel right????

I will post some more thoughts later maybe, but I need to center myself because fuck me.

[antvnger]

((Disclaimer: I really don't know how prisons function in terms of medication and accommodations, but I don't really hear good things so that's where part of this is coming from.

Also, as per usual, I went overboard LOOOOL. Enjoy!

This is a very good question, and I think the answer to the first and second questions comes down to the recognition of such an integral person in the Stark household:  Jarvis.

Oh yes, Jarvis is 100% still around in this AU, and why not? For the Stark home would run more amuck without him than it already was. While Charlie was away for work purposes, and Maria had all of her engagements and responsibilities as a Stark woman, the boys were in the care of Jarvis (and a nanny here and there but mainly Jarvis). And Jarvis learned very quickly that these two boys would not be ready on time for anything without a guiding hand to help them. 

While Tony is more like his mother, he did inherit quite a few things from his father besides the last name, and one of those things was the enjoyment of little rebellions against Grandpa Howard Stark. The other was being naturally fashionably late.  Which also became a little rebellion of sorts.  Howard Stark was a stickler for being on time.  Charlie was not.  Howard was the “five minutes early is still late” kind of guy, and Charlie was the “five minutes late is still on time” kind of guy. Now if it was something pertaining to his wife, his kids, or something he enjoyed - things he deemed important - Charlie would move heaven and earth to be on time. Otherwise, Charlie was fashionably late by nature. Tony is also fashionably late by nature, unless he deems it of the utmost importance to be there on time.

Scott is not a fashionably late by nature kind of guy. He prefers to be on time when he can be, but he’s more of the “stumbling in or rushing in late while somehow managing to hold it all together” type. That’s mainly due to his ADHD.  He’ll think of at least ten different things he needs to do before he leaves to go somewhere which will only take a second to do but in reality take ten minutes per thing. And each thing could potentially lead to at least two more things that he’s reminded of. This is also assuming he’s having a good day with his ADHD, and he didn’t forget he needed to leave in the first place. If he has to go somewhere he doesn’t care to go at all, well, it’s extra easy to give into those ADHD tendencies, if you know what I mean.

That’s where Jarvis comes in. Jarvis keeps the boys in line and on time. He is British, of course, so you can imagine how he prefers things in tip top shape. On an average day, Scott is easier to get out the door first because he prefers to be on time to things. Jarvis sometimes has to put more effort into getting Tony out the door unless Scott’s having a bad ADHD day. But since  Jarvis was in charge of making sure Scott took his meds for a long time, that wasn’t a big issue.

As they got older though, these behaviors didn’t change; they just became more cemented. 

For Tony, inheriting the Stark empire at such a young age and falling into Stane’s wicked grasp in the process further cemented Tony’s choice in what he deemed important. Fashionably late by nature also became fashionably late by choice. A statement. Anyone who understood him only had to pay attention to when he arrived at an event to see what he valued most. And as time carried on, how much he drank at said event to numb himself to the negative feelings pooling in his belly but that’s neither here nor there. 

Then Afghanistan happened, and a lot of Tony’s choices were taken away from him, including when he showed up to the beck and call of his captors. If they summoned him, and he didn’t answer in a timely manner, they’d drag him out and teach him better time management. He quickly learned that to stay ahead of this game, fashionably late was not an option. It took him a long time after the fact to not let himself give into the panic that would swell in his chest when he had somewhere to be he didn’t want to be.  Fear was a teaching tool too many people in his life liked to use, and he refused to bow to it in this part of his life too.

After he was rescued, fashionably late became a reminder that he is still human, still him, and he has the gift of choice.

For Scott, the struggle to be on time despite his ADHD tendencies became more apparent after losing his parents, losing Jarvis, and losing Tony to Stane and Stark Industries. Basically his whole support system. College was tough, not because of the classes but being on time.  Once Maggie came into the picture, she helped him stay ahead of the game because was a woman of precision, and she helped him remember to take his meds.  She was patient and understanding about all of that.

Prison was exceptionally challenging to him and his ADHD. The prison didn’t really care if he ran out of meds or not. The meds didn’t keep him alive, so they weren't a medical priority, even for a Stark. There were a few medical staff who liked him well enough to remember his meds for him when he ran out, so at least there was that. But he couldn’t keep them on his person or in his cell because others would steal them, and that fact caused its own problems. The prison didn’t really care if he was late to meals or curfew or fill in the blank either. You’re late? Tough luck, there’s consequences. He was on his own. Until Luis came into the picture as his celly and saw how Scotty without his meds really was. Luis helped keep him in line to go eat or to be back in the cell for lights out and things of that nature.

Once he was out of prison, it took a long time for Scott to break out of the mindset that if he wasn’t on time something bad would happen to him.  Panic kept him on time but exhausted, and he hated feeling afraid of consequences that his anxious mind would fabricate. He never wanted to feel like that again.

After prison, rushing in and holding it all together somehow became a reminder that he was trying, he was doing better, and he was improving all the time. And if he didn’t get it right, that’s okay because he’s still human, and grace is a gift he would give when it was needed, including to himself.)) @loki-notazombie

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if somebody had an accident while edbella were still having their high-school shenanigans? So the family is forced to move, does Bella move with them? Does she realize that the poor victim could be her any moment? If that's somebody she knows (which is the most likely, given Carlisle has perfect history and Esme doesn't leave the house, so children at school are the most likely candidates), does she finally understand how this whole "soulless stone cannibals" shit works, or is it still not enough?

When?

This is important because we have two stages to Edward and Bella's high school shenanigans, during Twilight and during Eclipse.

During Twilight, Edward intends to dump Bella, until the birthday party fiasco he would likely have chosen graduation and let Bella leave to college while he and his family disappeared, but he always intended to leave her. Neither has gone the six months without each other where both sunk into a non-functional state of depression.

During Eclipse, both Bella and Edward have tried and failed to live without the other. They see each other as their only salvation (with Bella baking vampirism into that mix as well). Neither can contemplate a future without the other meaning... they're uh probably willing to put up with a lot more.

So, I guess I have to answer the same question twice so I don't get an ask inevitably in my inbox.

Caveats

As a note, Bella can't be anywhere near where it happens or uh she'll probably be eaten too since that's how these things go. So, unless you want another dead Bella, she's not a witness.

This is important.

Twilight

Bella has just figured out what Edward is, she's met the family, had her James adventure, and is determined to become a vampire while Edward continues saying no.

They go to Prom, it's a wonderful time, until Jasper accidentally eats Jessica Stanley (poor Jessica, what a life).

Edward, of course, is livid as Jasper ruined what should have been the greatest night of his life and is horrified that now Bella knows the truth.

Which is, of course, why Edward covers it up immediately. The family has to cover it up anyway, Bella has no reason to find out that Jasper ate Jessica and that the family really is comprised of demons. Edward absolutely does not want Bella to know this for all he knows it'd be for her own good.

Edward's fine with this as he takes this as the impetus to leave town and dump Bella.

(Likely, they stage a car accident, one to be expected on prom night. Jessica is the tragic victim of a sad teenage statistic.)

The Cullens stay to the end of the year, Edward acting... weird and standoffish, then Edward gives Bella his "it's not me, it's you" speech in the woods and disappears into the sunset.

Canon proceeds as planned until years later, someone unthinkingly mentions the time Jasper ate Jessica.

Eclipse

Now Edward's torn.

This is the ultimate proof he needs to show Bella that vampires are blood sucking demons and she will literally lose her soul if she becomes one.

On the other hand, Jacob is now his rival and this time she'll dump him for sure.

Edward... is selfish enough... he can't do that.

Oh, he drops strong hints that Bella should dump him for Jacob, Jacob's a better man, a human man, but uh "don't dump me for Jacob, I'll steal your car battery if you try to see him".

So, gaslighting continues.

Edward covers up the murder with the family and there's a lot of drama as the family can't really leave town what with the army on the doorstep as they would be leaving Forks to die.

Leaving Bella's also off the table as they would be sentencing her to die as well (Edward's not thinking about this part).

Everyone's told that Jasper stole medical blood in preparation for the battle.

Bella doesn't find out the truth until years later, if ever.

In Conclusion

Gaslight is Edward's middle name.

[ocean-blue-whump]

Buying More Time

Happens after THIS

Dax Del Mar Masterlist

Tagging @ashintheairlikesnow @outofangband - let me know if you want to be added/removed!

TW: pet whump, BBU, discussion of Romantics (not graphic), Dennison is fairly creepy and possessive, this is just a WRU salespitch kind of 

***

Dennison flops down at his desk, lacing his hands behind his head. Rough day at work. He went to check his boy out in the morning. 479 was as beautiful as ever, with those confused, doe-like silver eyes and his messy black hair. All he wanted to do was take advantage of the sweet little thing, but it’s too early for that. Unfortunately, 479 is just a patient in the clinic, not a trainee. At least, not yet. The rest of the day was filled with a bunch of Romantics, all eager and docile, but none as sweet as his 479. 

All day, he was dealing with those trainees, and all day, he was thinking about this exact moment. What to say, what to do, what words to use to really sell this. He flips open 479’s file and finds the number of his owner, one Levi Katz. That bastard didn’t know just how valuable his boy really is. Dennison let 479 slip through his fingers once. He won’t let it happen again. He picks up his phone and dials the number, placing it to his ear. 

It rings for a few moments, but eventually, someone picks up. “Hello?” Levi answers. “Who is this?”

Dennison smiles his widest even though the man can’t see him. “Hello, Mr. Katz. My name is Handler Patrick Dennison with WRU Romantics Division. How are you?”

Levi sighs, his voice scratchy through the phone. He sounds old, much older than Dennison. A shame, really. 479 would do better with someone young. Someone to match his…stamina. “I’m fine, Handler Dennison. How’s Hermes?”

“Oh, 588479 is recovering nicely. I’m sure the staff at the clinic will be calling you to give a more thorough medical update on the pet’s condition. I’m not very well versed on that sort of thing.” He forces a chuckle, knowing it sounds real enough to build rapport. “What I’m calling about, Mr. Katz, is more about after 479 is released from medical care. I’m a Senior Handler here, which means I have quite a lot of experience evaluating Romantics. I went in recently to evaluate how this injury of his will impact his ability to function as a Romantic. We here at WRU take our finished products very seriously, and if anything less than perfect was delivered back to your care, we simply could not stand for that.” Dennison leans forward, shuffling some papers on his desk to make it seem more convincing. “Now, when I evaluated 479—Hermes—it was clear to me that he is in desperate need of a refresher course. Just the basics, he won’t be gone long. Positions, pleasure skills, obedience.”

Levi pauses, but eventually, he says, “Okay. I trust your decision, Handler. Do what you need to do. Make sure Hermes is allowed to continue his reading. It’s important he maintains that skill.”

“Oh, oh, Mr. Katz, of course. 479 is very unique in that regard. Here at WRU, pet customisation is of the utmost importance.” Here it is. Time to move in for the kill. Dennison takes a deep breath, knowing he has to sell this hard to really get his boy to stay a little while longer. “Customisation is the other thing I’d like to discuss. WRU has made a lot of changes to our Romantic curriculum since 479 was trained. We are now proud to offer several new packages and add ons to enhance your pet. I took the liberty of selecting a few options if you’d like to hear them?”

“How much is this going to cost?” Levi asks. “I’ve already spent a fortune on Hermes. Training, medicine, jewelry, it adds up.”

Dennison laughs. “I completely understand that, Mr. Katz. Having the best of the best can be a costly venture. But to be honest with you, 479 was an absolute doll to train. A true pleasure. I would consider it an honor to have him again. Because of that, I’m willing to offer you a discount. Twenty percent off all services. It’s the biggest discount we offer owners, Mr. Katz.”

“Yeah, okay,” Levi grumbles. “Let’s hear it.”

“Wonderful.” The twenty percent off worked like a charm, Dennison knew it would. “I’m more than happy to send a full packet of options over your way, but I would hate to waste your very valuable time, Mr. Katz. I’ve come up with the additional services that I think would be best suited to 479 and to your needs. I won’t bore you with technical terms. He’ll benefit greatly from our Romantic-specific general enhancement package, which reinforces and builds on Romantic skills. I also would recommend our dictation add on. I know you like having 479 read to you. This is a small add on, but it’ll really add eloquence to his speech. Our speech trainers here can make him sound like he’s telling a story instead of just reading words off a page. This will all take about a month, but that timeline isn’t set in stone. I’d need your permission to evaluate him.”

“Can you…” Levi sighs, Dennison can imagine the old bastard pinching his nose and missing his Romantic. “Can you train him to beg better? Like…he’s sweet when he begs, but he doesn’t know a lot of different ways to do it? And I’d like a refresher on his classical ballet training. Just to be safe in case his illness damaged his skills.”

Oh, this is perfect. Absolutely perfect. Dennison wasn’t expecting this much, if anything, he wasn’t sure Levi would go for this at all. But two more add ons? He’ll get so much more time with 479 and he’ll get a nice bonus at the end of the year. “Of course, Mr. Katz. Begging and classical ballet, in addition to the Romantic-specific general enhancement package and the dictation package.”

“Yes, that’s fine. Have your people send the bill to my house.” 

“Same place we sent your pet, or have you moved since, Mr. Katz?” Dennison says, typing up the order request to get it approved. 

“Same address you have on file. Will you be his primary handler, or will his training go to someone else?” 

Dennison grins, imagining how wonderful it will be to have his boy under his desk again. “That’s right. I’m emailing you consent forms right now to continue training your pet, and if you sign those tonight, I’ll evaluate your pet tomorrow morning and give you a call right after.”

“Sounds perfect, Handler Dennison. Thank you for calling me and notifying me of my options. That’s what makes WRU worth the price, you know. Good customer service. Have a good night.”

Dennison hangs up and sets the phone down. Customer service. It makes him laugh a little bit. Levi doesn’t know just how much worth his delectable little pet has, and he gave him up without a struggle. Dennison will get at least two months, maybe more with 479 cuddling up to him, eating out of his fucking hand. 

He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about 479. It’s affected everything, relationships, work, sex life. No other trainee has come even close to that perfection, that desirability. Having 479 back in his care will either kick his addiction to the pet or make it so much worse, but Dennison doesn’t care. 

For the time being, 479 is back and Dennison can’t wait to get his hands on him.

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 4, Wave 2, Poll 6

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and round here.

Eda Clawthorne-The Owl House

Qualifications:

She has a magical chronic disorder which has flare-ups, is mitigated by taking medication (potions), and has similar side effects to many real disorders such as fatigue, greying hair, and physical impairment (drains magic, a natural ability of *most witches). Unlike in other stories however, her condition is NOT ever completely cured. It does evolve and become more manageable over the course of the story, but she still experiences symptoms from it. Eda also loses one of her arms later in the story. She does get a replacement hook, but it is never shown whether she has a functional prosthetic or not. Most likely, she only has one fully functioning arm after this. As for being queer, she is in a relationship with a nonbinary person and is all but confirmed bisexual (has a secret box with the bi flag on it seriously why else would she have this). Also the owl house has a Lot of queer characters in it and I mean. just look at her. I would be surprised if she wasn't queer somehow.

Bisexual, and has a curse that affects her day to day life

Bi & lost arm and has a chronic illness metaphorically

Propaganda:

Has canonically dated both men and a non-binary person. Her curse affects her ability to use magic (and at one point outright stops it), which is very important in witch life. Said curse also causes her body parts to fall off sometimes. Many have said her curse is like a metaphor for depression but really it's more like a magic version of a physical disability (although I wouldn't be surprised if she actually also had depression).

Uuuuh she’s great and stuff idk I can’t propaganda well sorry

Roronoa Zoro-One Piece

Qualifications:

He's canonically visually impaired and implied to be gay in the live action!!!

as for him being queer, nothing is confirmed unfortunately but it is common for fans to interpret him as gay and transgender. the gay interpretation comes from him not showing a lot of interest in women and having a lot of very shippable moments with other men, as well as some moments in the recent live action. the trans headcanons come from his backstory, where he helps his best friend Kuina deal with the internalized misogyny she got from her father dismissing her as a swordswoman because of her gender - it would make the story a little cooler if zoro has had to deal with this misogyny himself. (Same person, different tumblr ask)

Propaganda:

hes such a guy. he's green. he doesn't know directions. he sleeps 20 hours a day. he's a feminist. he's suicidal. he was crucified. he's a 19 year old alcoholic. he has the biggest tits out of all the straw hats. he's even gay

[familiariscanis]

i made a post yesterday about how none of chuuya's behavior is alcoholic whatsoever so now lets talk about how some of dazai's behavior is.

(dazai's entrance exam and the untold stories of the agency light novels)

kunikida frequently mentions dazai day drinking, and dazai himself says he spends a lot of time at bars and pubs. kunikida also makes a reference to himself drinking to excess when he's with dazai, which is another indicator. people who are addicted will often bring other people into their addiction and encourage others to binge drink, because if everyone else is doing it then it seems more normal and it's easier to deny to themselves and others that they have a problem.

but of course, this is dazai, and we all know how hard it is to tell if he's sincere. he could just be putting on an act of a good-for-nothing day drinker when he's with other people so that he isn't taken seriously.

bsd wan episode 6

only the inside of his dorm looks like this. waking up hungover with tons of bottles by your bed is kind of an alcoholic look buddy. though to be fair, this is wan, so the canonness of it is perhaps under scrutiny, but i wouldn't be surprised at all if this is just what his room looks like (not sure if his dorm has been shown in any other content?).

while none of these are definitive proof of anything, i'd still be inclined to take all of these instances as truthful, and interpret dazai as having a tendency to abuse alcohol. an important thing to note is that alcoholics can be far, far more functional than people think, so dazai being as intelligent and capable as he is certainly does not preclude him from alcoholism! of course, he might not be a full-blown alcoholic, but that doesn't mean he doesn't abuse alcohol or have an unhealthy relationship with substances.

another reason i'd be inclined to read into these little moments is simply because he's dazai, and the real dazai osamu not only had severe addiction problems but those addiction problems also feature heavily in his writing. namely, in no longer human. like the real dazai, yozo becomes addicted to narcotics and alcohol. several of the other major themes in no longer human (such as the suicidality and the womanizing) have been made into facets of dazai's character, so it doesn't seem like a leap to think that perhaps the addiction issues could be there too.

alcoholism is also very very often a comorbid disorder, and a lot of people who struggle with addiction have other disorders or problems that came first that they weren't able to get treatment for. other mental illnesses, physical health problems, poverty, abuse and trauma can all be contributing factors to developing an addiction.

my personal interpretation of this is that post-oda's death and defecting from the mafia, dazai no longer feels like he can kill himself, because of oda's last words to him. none of his suicide attempts in the ada era are effectual and they're very often played for laughs and whenever he gets himself into a dangerous situation he's always got a plan to get himself out. dazai isn't trying to die anymore. he has something tying him down to life now. multiple things, actually. there's multiple people he's sticking around for, but that doesn't mean the desire to die is gone. alcohol numbs that (and then makes it worse, but then you just drink more to get rid of that feeling. and so the cycle of alcoholism continues). yippee self-medication!

it's a little interesting how dazai has displayed these behaviors and how they feature so heavily in a novel he's loosely inspired by, and yet chuuya is the one who gets the alcoholism hammer from fandom. i think perhaps part of this is because of a tendency, at least on a subconscious level, to view alcoholism as a failing or weakness. society has taught us that being addicted means you are mentally weak and do not have the fortitude or will power to stop, and while canon chuuya actually has significant mental fortitude and sticks to his own morals, fanon chuuya emphasizes the times when dazai gets the upper hand over him, turning chuuya into someone who has no control over himself or his own life, which fits in with the common perception of alcoholism.

this post got much longer than i expected it to so i'm going to stop myself now. i'm not saying that this means dazai definitely has an addiction or that you need to write him as having one, but it's something i find personally interesting and fitting for his character and canon seems to align with that possibility.

in conclusion: hey dazai you ever thought about going to aa (do not go to aa it would not go well)

[whumpfessional]

Settling In

I mean, if you worked for a pro-human terrorist group and had the opportunity to radicalize a child combatant, you would do it too, right? It just makes sense. Definitely the best choice for the kid.

I’m glad we are meeting more of the crew. I like them all a lot. And we get to see married Hef and Doc here! I think I have a post in my masterlist that has the Aspida crew’s bios and pictures but I could talk about them for hours.

Cw: past slavery, past minor whump

Patterson had been happy to let her onto the engineering team and she spent her days tinkering on small projects. She was the tidiest worker Patterson had seen, given what a massive mess Lyle left everywhere, and she was so quiet that her presence was barely noticed. 

“I fixed the lower deck power converter”, Circe said quietly, Patterson whipping around from what she had been working on. She hadn’t heard her approach. “It was only functioning at 87% capacity so I made sure all the connections were firmly attached. It’s at 96% now.” 

“Did you look at the upper deck ones yet?” Patterson regretted the words as they came out of her mouth as she watched Circe flinch away from her. 

Circe started, “I’m so-“ 

“Don’t apologize. I didn’t expect you to. You can go do it now if you’d like.” Circe nodded and slipped down the corridor towards the upper decks. 

Patterson sighed. It had been a couple months since Circe has snuck on board their ship and she still flinched at everything. She was talking now, which was something and more often than not, she made eye contact with who she was talking to. It made Patterson’s blood boil to think about what could be done make a person break so completely and it had solidified for many of the crew the importance of their mission, what could be done to them if they didn’t work to maintain human dominance. 

Hef had been most successful so far in getting anything out of her and was able to even put a hand on Circe’s shoulder without causing her to flinch violently. They had put her age somewhere between 14-15, based on her height and size but the bio scan had put her at 16-17. Patterson had overheard Pilar whispering to Emily about Circe’s scars after she had had a full medical work up done.

And she hadn’t been sleeping, either. It was possible that she was catching catnaps while she scurried around the ship all day. She had certainly found most of the best hiding spots. 

Patterson was stuck with an idea. “Lyle, come in” she spoke into her communicator. 

“What’s up, Patterson?” A crackly voice came through. 

“Meet me up here, I have a job for you.” 

Lyle stood in the hallway outside of the cabin that Circe shared with Emily and Pilar. Patterson had heard Emily mention that Circe didn’t sleep in the cabin and went somewhere else after she thought everyone was asleep. And of course, Patterson had put him on it. He let out a huff and leaned around the corner to peak. Nothing. 

When he had his own ship, he wouldn’t have to run these stupid errands. Plus, he wasn’t the biggest fan of this new girl. It was kinda freaky how she wouldn’t talk and how she would pop out from nowhere. On top of all of that, she fixed a ventilation fan that he had been stuck on for weeks in a matter of minutes. It was starting to get personal and he planned to tell her tonight.   

Lyle was somewhat lost in this daydream when he heard the door in the hallway slide open. He quickly peaked around to see Circe slipping out in the other direction. Giving her a few seconds head start, he followed the sound of her footsteps down the stairwell to the lower levels. It sounded like she was heading for the garage. 

She made it down before him and he hung in the doorway, tucking his body behind the corner. He watched as she dug behind some boxes, before pulling out a cloth wrapped object. Lyle recognized it as one of the few swords from their armoury, as the crew preferred to stick with their guns. He prepared to leap in there and prevent her from doing whatever she was trying to do when he noticed her going back to drag something else out. 

It was a practice dummy from their training room. No one has noticed that one was missing, though the only one who would probably notice would be CJ.

Circe had set up the dummy and now circled around it, holding her sword low. Lyle could see that it was not well balanced for her, likely too large. So when she started to attack, Lyle was stunned. 

She moved quickly through practice forms, in a style Lyle recognized as Batarian. 30 minutes, an hour passed as Lyle sat there, watching Circe flow from one form to the other. It was clear that she was well practiced, though her offensive forms were markedly weaker than her defensive ones. 

The only sounds in the room had been Circe’s heavy breathing and the thuds of the sword smacking into the dummy. Lyle watched as her attacks began to become more frantic and heard a sob escape her mouth. Soon, she was yelling as she beat into the dummy, all sense of technique lost. She let out a final scream as she planted her foot in the center of dummy and kicked it over. 

Circe’s shoulders were slumped as she panted over the fallen dummy. Slowly, Lyle watched as she raised her sword arm, resting the tip of the sword at the neck of the dummy. 

Lyle slipped away as she stood frozen there, lost in her memories. The footage that he has gotten would be enough for Patterson, though he felt guilty, as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. 

—-

Hef, Lee, Montoya and Patterson sat silently, contemplating the footage that they had just seen. 

Hef rapped her fist on the table. “She’s good, I’ll give her that. Not great but good.” She turned to Montoya, “What do you think?” 

Montoya gave a shrug, “I agree. She’s small but we can work with that. Honestly, I think that she would be a valuable asset.” 

“I’m just worried about her stability,” Lee piped in. “You saw how she was at the end of the holo.”

“I think that can be harnessed though,” Montoya pointed out. “It’s easier if she already has that anger.”

Patterson leaned forward, “She’s a good worker too. I know we were going to wait until we needed to resupply to figure out what to do with her, but I think we should make the offer now.” 

Lee threw his hands up with a huff, “I will bet you all 100 credits that she will disobey the rules at the drop of a hat in order to get revenge.” 

“We’ll make the rules clear to her. She steps out of line, she’s out. We will let her know that those kind of actions won’t just hurt her but all of us,” Hef paused. “I want to give her something to hold onto. She has nothing. She needs a purpose.” 

“All in favour of bringing Circe onto our crew?” Montoya asked, raising their hand. Hef and Patterson raised their hands and, after a pause, Lee did the same. “Passed unanimously. Congratulations captain, you just got yourself another mouth to feed.”

--

“-So that’s what Cerberus is. That’s what we’re offering you.” Hef concluded, placing her hands back on the bed. The two of them sat in the quarters that Circe shared with the others. There was no sound other than the hums of the engine as they sat there. 

All Circe could feel was terror. Not at Cerberus, at what it does, but at the prospect that she could do something too. The concept of taking action, of fighting back was so infinitely inconceivable in that moment. She felt her breathing quicken but couldn’t seem to catch it.

She leapt out of her seat as she felt a weight rest on her shoulder. Gathering herself, she noticed it was Hef, looking down at her. Her face was so open, so full of concern and emotion and the fear started to build again. She saw Hef’s mouth moving but the words took a second to start to hold meaning.

“-I’m not saying you have to stay. No one is going to make you do anything. Just keep breathing, you’re good, kid. We aren’t going to ship you off either.” Hef gave a smile as Circe retook her seat. “We’ve got a lot of connections, we can find you some place to live where you can do something you like. Maybe go to school?” 

Circe nodded her head, trying to make sense of the future being offered. The idea of being in school, of doing something she liked, she couldn’t see herself in it. Tears started to well up in her eyes and she grasped her hands tightly together, trying to ground herself but her right hand skimmed across the burnt skin of her left and the numb burning from the damage caused her to double over, curling inwards. She held herself so tightly she shook. 

There was the sound of movement from across the room and she flinched at it, preparing for a blow. But none came. Instead, she heard Hef kneel on the floor next to her bed, sitting there wordlessly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hef take a glove off her left hand and hold her arm out towards Circe. 

It took a moment for Circe to be able to turn her head as she tried to relax, to push down the dread, push it to the bottom of her brain where it would only be screaming faintly at her. She pushed herself up slightly, still hugging herself. 

The tattoo stared up at her. The everseeing eye. Hef had been like her. Now Hef was… was Hef. She brought her hands up to her face, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. “H-how?” she choked out. “How do I be-become a person?” Her voice hiccuped at the end and she brought her hands up to cover her mouth.

She heard Hef huff as the captain shifted backwards to lean against the bed opposite. “Well,” Hef’s lower voice started, “I was older than you when I was taken and it was only for five years. I was working on a merchant vessel when we got captured and they just tossed us over to the Batarian mechanics.” She paused, gathering her thoughts. 

“It wasn’t the same as what you had to do, hun. What you went through, that was personal. I was broke-” Hef stumbled over her words, “I wasn’t doing great when Cerberus found me. But I was angry too. I tended to get into a lot of fights when I was younger and after 5 years of being able to do nothing? Circe, I wanted to destroy them. And that’s what I get to do. I get to ruin their lives just like they ruined mine.”

“Circe,” Hef tilted her head, trying to catch eye contact, “you don’t have to be afraid. You can be angry. All your pain? That’s their fault. They did this to you. And you can make them pay.”

The fear that overwhelmed Circe’s mind shifted at this, twisting slightly. The thought threatened to send her over but there was something else there too. A deep part, pushed down too many times so that it felt that it rested at the base of her spine, that delighted in the thought of their destruction. And the destruction of all those that hurt others like she had been hurt. Because she had been hurt. And she could be angry and mad and scream. 

She had tasted it at that dinner. How they had laughed. How they used her. 

She hated them.

Hef watched Circe’s posture shift slightly, the tenseness shift from her shoulders to her fists. Circe looked up to Hef finally, making eye contact. 

“I ca-can stay?” Circe whispered across to Hef. A grin grew on Hef’s face.

“Yeah, hun. You can stay. You can be a part of our team.” Hef smiled, “You can do whatever you want. If you want to work with Doc and Pilar, I know they need some extra hands. There’s Lyle and Patterson too. I know Patterson loves having you. And maybe not right away, we need to get you a little stronger first, but you can do some training too with Montoya and CJ. Everyone wants to have you here, if you’ll have us.” 

It was possible, Circe realized. This was something that could possibly happen. She could see it too, working on the engines maybe. The crew was loud and obnoxious sometimes but they also felt safe. Furthermore, she felt safe here too. And, that deep down part of her mind added in, she could get revenge. 

-----

It was way too late when Hef heard the knock on the door to her quarters. She had gotten in late. They had docked on some backwater minor moon in order to refuel and the officials were reluctant to take the usual bribes. By the time they had managed to dock, it was already past the time when most of the crew turned in for the night and Hef had sent Lee off so that he could get some rest as well. She had handled the refueling with Lyle and had made the executive decision to stay docked for the night instead of having to wake up some of the crew for take-off procedures. 

And Hef knew that it was way too late not just because she was planning on falling asleep soon but also because Doc was curled up next to her, softly snoring. She shook them awake and gestured with her head towards the door. They just rolled their eyes in response and pulled the blanket over their head. Hef tossed a pillow onto the blanket, hoping to make it look like a messy pile.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened and Hef was over it too to some degree. But when the two of them had first gotten together, they figured that they’d keep it a secret. Except now they had been together for 12 years and married for 5. They figured 9 or so years ago that it was no one’s fucking business and it honestly worked well this way. If a crew member had a problem with Hef, they would usually go to Doc to talk about it and the two of them predicted that if they knew about the whole holy matrimony part, they might not have that same openness with Doc. 

It worked well until a crew member came knocking in the night. Doc’s room was connected with Hef’s by a small door, as they used to be storage rooms for cargo so if someone needed a doctor in the night, they would usually hear the knocking from Hef’s room. 

Expecting some form of emergency, it was not a small surprise to see Circe standing in front of the door instead. She shifted back and forth awkwardly, looking down at Hef’s feet. 

Hef let out a sign. “Circe, what is it? It’s late.”

Circe looked up to Hef and Hef swore she could see some light in those eyes. And was that, was that a smile? 

“I figured out what I want to do,” Circe rushed, shifting back and forth. “I want to learn how to be a pilot. I think I can do it because I’ve flown air shuttle simulations before and I also knew the theory of flying the other ship but I never got to try it.” She took a quick gasp, “I also want to learn how to do more with my sword. I saw Lyle creeping around and I know he told you. I want to be able to use it for more than just defense.”

She took another breath and Hef stared onwards. She didn’t think that Circe had had this many words inside of her. And she kept going.

“I also want to learn how to use a gun and how to shoot things because I wasn’t allowed to and I want to be able to fight with you guys and you mostly use guns.” Circe took a breath for more words but realized that she had run out. She looked up expectantly at Hef. 

Hef took a moment to gather her words. “Right. Yes. Okay. Yes. We can do that.” She smiled. “We can do all of that. It might take some time, because I’m not just going to hand my ship over to you. But we can do that.”

Circe nodded and spun right around, walking away down the corridor. Hef opened her mouth to call her back but decided against it. Slowly, she stepped back into the room and closed the door. As soon as the door closed, Doc burst up from the blankets, holding the pillow over their mouth to stop from laughing. 

“What in the universe did you say to that child?” Doc managed between laughs, “you work miracles, Hef. If you had told me last week that she was going to say more than one full sentence, let alone declarations of what she wanted, I would have taken you in for a psych eval. How did you do it?” Doc shook their head in amazement. 

Hef held up her left hand. She had only been wearing a glove before for Circe’s sake and had left it off since their chat. Doc stopped laughing, pulling themselves together. “Oh, right.”

Hef shrugged, squeezing into the cot next to Doc. “To be fair, I wasn’t expecting that either.” She was silent for a second until Doc gave her a nudge. “I think she looks up to me, crazy as that is.”

“I don’t think it’s crazy. It makes sense.” Doc replied, laying their head back on Hef’s shoulder. “A lot of the crew looks up to you, you know.” Hef let out a snort.

“They better or I’d beat their ass.”

“Hef.” Doc said sternly

“I know, I know.” Hef sighed, “I know.” She ran her hand not trapped under Doc over her face. “I’m going to have to tell the higher ups about this. I doubt I can get her much of a wage.”

“Hef?”

“Yeah?”

“I really don’t think that that thought has even crossed her mind. Give her a roof, a bed, food, security. Let her learn about what she wants. She’s never had that before.” Doc muttered into Hef’s shoulder, “That’s more than enough.”

“Mmm, you’re probably right.” Hef replied, shifting deeper under the covers. “I just want her to be happy.”

“I know. You’ll do it somehow.” Doc whispered, their voice growing heavy with sleep. “Good night.”

“Good night,” Hef turned to press a kiss onto Doc’s forehead. “I love you.”

“Mm mmm mmm mm,” grumbled Doc into the pillow. Hef closed her eyes as well, curling towards her partner.

Circe tag: @annablogsposts

[tsarisfanfiction]

Twenty-Five Fingers

Fandom: Daughter of the Deep Rating: Teen Genre: Friendship Characters: Gemini, Ana, Ester, Franklin Gem remembered to watch Ana's six, he just forgot to watch his own. Seeing if I can get whumptober going again this year - starting with a new fandom and therefore new characters to play with, but I've been meaning to write something for Daughter of the Deep for a while, and the Day 1 prompt "How many fingers am I holding up" fit one of the vague muses I've had since finishing the book, so here we are! This ended up rather longer than planned (story of my fic writing life), and while it's the first thing I've written for this fandom, I don't plan on it being the last!

There were too many thoughts whirling around Gem’s head and he knew it.  Worries, mostly – for Dr Hewett, dragged onto the Varuna without a medic to keep him stabilised and possibly dying, for Ana with the stab wound he’d only been able to do so much for, for the combat situation they were entering with only two guns and a knife between them.

He felt off-balance, with only a single gun in his hand.  It hadn’t been a mistake giving the other to Ana, not tactically and not for his peace of mind, either, but the empty air instead of cool aluminium in his palm felt fundamentally wrong.

It wasn’t as though Gem was fully functional, either, not when he could feel dried blood on his temple and an ache around his shoulders from their underwater scuffle, but he was their combat specialist, the least injured (and Ana’s wound worried him; she needed stitches and rest, not the near-guarantee of another fight), and keeping Ana safe was still his priority.

Except his thoughts were whirring too much, the calm state he entered when he had a gun in his hand just wasn’t coming this time, he was distracted and worried and-

He saw Ana turn around, lips parting as though she was about to say something.  He saw her eyes widen, heard the start of a scream and too slow, too late, realised he’d been watching her six but not his own and-

CRACK.

The throbbing of his head told him in no uncertain terms that he’d been an idiot.

Everything was black, both his hands were empty, and the simple act of even twitching his fingers because his hand being empty was wrong sent a throb of pain all the way through his body, bright colours sparking through the otherwise prevailing blackness of his vision.

There were noises, vibrations travelling through his body.  Familiar noises, even, but it hurt too much to even think and he gave up trying.

He didn’t know how much time passed; something as mundane as keeping track of time was definitely too much effort when his head was pounding hard enough it felt like it was going to explode, but slowly the feeling of something important started to creep up on him.

It wasn’t whatever was causing his hand to feel empty, for all that that felt wrong and like something he should be concerned about.  It wasn’t the noises and vibrations that at some point he’d stopped feeling, although something inside him felt a bit concerned at that, too.

It wasn’t strange material against his skin, cool and definitely not a t-shirt.

Well of course, he’d lost his t-shirt earlier, because Ana had been injured and-

Ana.

He tried to say her name, fighting against the black of his vision now because Ana was in danger and he was supposed to protect her but he’d failed again and where was Ana?

After a moment of fighting, his eyelids peeled open and he blinked slowly.  Nothing was in focus, not the brown or the blue or the dark blob that appeared a moment later, swallowing up almost everything else.

“Hey…” the blob said, voice faint and shaking but familiar and part of Gem almost passed out again in relief because that was Ana’s voice.  All that kept him alert was the fact that she didn’t sound right, didn’t sound like the confident girl that snapped at him more than spoke over the past two years, or the captain that it felt right to follow.  She sounded like something was wrong, and Gem pounded his hammering brain into at least trying to be more awake.

“How many fingers?” he heard her ask, and he squinted as a smaller blob separated from the main blob; a hand, no doubt, but he couldn’t make out any fingers at all, just the blob with a blur around the edges.

“Twenty five?” he rasped, knowing that couldn’t be right but if he really squinted it looked like something like that.  Maybe it was five?

“Yeah, you’ll be fine,” she said, and Gem wasn’t sure that sounded right, but then again Ana didn’t sound right.  If he concentrated enough, the blob looked a bit less blob-shaped and more Ana-shaped, although her face was a bit too shiny.

Water?  No, that didn’t seem right.

He forced his brain to start turning again, to analyse the situation because that was what he was supposed to do, for all he’d messed up already, his head still shrieking a reminder that he’d let someone get behind him, hit him hard enough to knock him out and there was no way he didn’t have a concussion.

Under duress, his mind reached the conclusion that Ana was crying, and Gem had no way of knowing for sure who hit him but something whispered the name of his house captain – former house captain, because Gem would never accept Dev Dakkar as his captain again, not when Ana Dakkar was right there and so much better – and Dev had always been persistent.

“Is Dev-?” he asked, not sure what to say beyond the older boy’s name, but Ana interrupted him before he had to think any more.

“Taken care of,” she said, sounding almost as bad as Gem felt, and the all-too-familiar taste of failure filled the back of his throat because his single order, sole mission since HP’s destruction had been to protect Ana and he hadn’t managed that once.  “I shot him with rubber bullets.”

The shock of her words cut through the pain of his head and nausea of failure, and for a moment he could see Ana’s face clearly, dirty and bruised and red-eyed.  Ana loved her brother, had been cut deeper than any of the rest of them, even Gem and his fellow Sharks, by his betrayal.  Dev was also the top Shark in hand-to-hand combat, and Ana had faced him all alone.  “That couldn’t have been easy,” Gem managed, somehow managing a full sentence although his voice sounded muffled to his own ears.  “Ana… are you…”

“I’m okay,” she told him quickly, and Gem didn’t believe her for a moment, not when her voice was shaking and her eyes were still rimmed with red.  “I’ll be okay.”

He didn’t get the chance to call her out on it, wasn’t sure if he should; they’d finally started working together, had finally cleared the air from his insensitive blunder when they’d first met, but that was the sort of things friends did and Gem wanted Ana to be his friend but had no idea if she wanted the same or if the past week had just been necessity.

Ana’s hands were shaking as she hooked them under him, and Gem realised she was trying to help him up.  Up sounded good, much better than laying limp on the deck, but his muscles didn’t want to co-operate with her and when his head moved the nausea surged.  His vision reset to blurs, a blue that was probably the sky taking up most of it while Ana reprised her dark blob appearance, and he groaned, letting gravity yank his dead weight back down to the deck.

At least he was on his back now, rather than slumped on his front.

“I think maybe I should just… stay here for a minute,” he admitted as Ana’s hands slipped off of his wetsuit.  After a couple of slow blinks, her blob came back into focus again, haloed by the sky behind her.  She looked worried, and Gem almost said something that was supposed to reassure her before he realised what had been so wrong about the lack of noise and vibrations.

“Why has the boat stopped?”

That was wrong, that was a problem because it was just the two of them and unless he’d been out long enough for Ana to beat Dev in a fight, go to the engine room to stop the boat, and then come back-

Two hostiles, his brain dragged up out of nowhere.  With Dr Hewett.  Neither of them had been Dev.

“I’ll check the bridge,” Ana said, and that told him that she hadn’t done it, which meant active hostiles, and Gem tried to pull himself back up so he could help but his muscles mutinied and his body stayed exactly where it was.

“You look terrible,” he told her, because he couldn’t tell her no, knew she wouldn’t listen even if he did, and out of the two of them she was definitely in better shape, but she didn’t look up to taking down any more hostiles, either.

“Thanks,” she replied.  He couldn’t tell if she was being sincere or sarcastic; it could have been either.  “Don’t worry, I’ve got this gun.”

Light glinted off of the weapon, drawing his attention to it.  The shine of sun on metal made it difficult to look at, and the bright flash certainly didn’t do his vision or his pounding head any good at all, but even concussed Gem knew one of his twins when he saw one.

That was why his hand was empty.  He’d given one to Ana.

Where was the other one?

“It’s a nice gun,” he agreed, because it was.  There was a reason the rumour that his name came from his guns existed.  Still, Ana wasn’t the best markswoman and he didn’t know how many rubber bullets were left and just one gun wasn’t enough, but also Ana was stubborn and he knew he couldn’t persuade her otherwise.  “Be careful,” he begged her.

She didn’t reply, and Gem forced his head to turn so he could watch her as she staggered across the deck, looking like the recoil of the pistol would knock her down the moment she fired it.  There was no sign of his second gun, not that he could do anything if he had it.

His head still pounded mercilessly, his vision swimming from the movement of his head.  Nausea choked up his throat; the best he could do if a hostile found him before Ana came back – because she had to come back, had to beat the LI upperclassmen because if she didn’t, she was dead – would be to throw up all over them.

No-one came.

He couldn’t hear anything, either.  No gunshots, no sounds of a fight.  Just the sea, lapping against the unmoving hull of the Varuna, and the ever-pounding throb of his head.

It was disconcerting, and after what he thought were a few minutes had passed he tried to roll over with the intention of staggering to his feet.

He got as far as laying on his side rather than his back before the nausea protested and he threw up.  The world span alarmingly and he completely lost his bearings.

When everything stopped moving again, he was back on his back, staring semi-blankly up at the sky.  Beneath his head, the deck vibrated in short, sharp bursts.

Footsteps.

“Ana?” he called, but the girl that appeared in his vision was completely the wrong colours.

“Ana passed out,” Ester said, and Gem’s eyes sluggishly tracked her as she crouched down next to him.  “She lost a lot of blood but I stitched her up.  You have a concussion.”

Where had Ester come from?

“Ester?” he asked.  “How..?”

“Your pupils are dilated and your reaction time is very slow,” the Orca informed him.  “You’re also bleeding.  You know head wounds bleed a lot?”

“I… yes?”  Gem winced as she leaned over him and touched his head lightly.  It flared, not appreciating the extra contact, and he groaned a little.

“I can’t carry you,” Ester told him after a moment of gentle prodding that nonetheless had his head screaming.  “Can you stand?”

Gem wanted to say yes.  He wanted to get away from the deck and at least to the infirmary with Dr Hewett and no doubt Ana as well, but he knew there was no way he could even sit up, let alone stand, even with Ester’s help.  “No,” he admitted.

Ester nodded.  “Okay,” she said.  “You should stay still, then.  I’ll be back.”

Gem blinked as she disappeared from his view, left alone with his throbbing head and several questions.  How had Ester got on the Varuna?  Was anyone else with her?  Were all the hostiles accounted for?

Ester hadn’t seemed worried, so he was going to hope the answer to the last question, at least, was yes.  He didn’t think she’d have left Ana’s side if she thought there was a danger to her.

True to her word, she didn’t take long to return.  “Painkillers,” she announced as she knelt down next to him with a syringe in her hand.  “I didn’t think you would be able to swallow any,” she explained, and Gem gave her a small nod of acknowledgement.

“Probably not,” he admitted.  He barely felt the prick of the needle past the throbbing in his head.

He did, however, feel the antiseptic as she dabbed at the source of the pain on his head.  Gritting his teeth didn’t stop the groan as the sting made its presence known, but Ester didn’t hesitate.

“This might need glue or stitches once the Nautilus arrives,” she told him as she lifted his head enough to wrap bandages around it.  “But I can’t move you by myself so it will have to wait.”

“That’s okay,” Gem assured her.  “How’s Ana?  And Dr Hewett?”  He shouldn’t have been surprised when his head was put down on something made of fabric – not as much give as a pillow, but far more comfortable than the hard deck – but he was.  He appreciated it, though.

“They’re both unconscious,” Ester told him.  “Ana’s lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion.  Dr Hewett needs better equipment.”

Gem wasn’t surprised at either status, although neither of them were good news.

“Go back to them,” he told her.  “I’ll be fine.”

“You have a concussion,” Ester protested.  “You should be kept under observation.”

Gem appreciated her expertise, but, “it’s just you, right?”

“Yes,” she confirmed.  “But the Nautilus is on the way.”

That, Gem didn’t doubt for a moment.  He expected nothing less of Nelinha than to get their submarine operational as quickly as possible to come and back up Ana.  “Go back to them,” he repeated.  “Please,” he added almost immediately.  “I’d feel better knowing you’re with them.”

Even if there was nothing more Ester could do with the Varuna’s supplies, the idea of either of them being left unsupervised while they were unconscious worried him.  Ester was resourceful; if something went wrong before the Nautilus arrived, she would work something out.  She couldn’t do that if she wasn’t with them.

“I should stay with you,” Ester said.  “You need to stay awake.”

“Please,” Gem begged her.  “I can keep myself awake.  Just… make sure they’re alright.”

She frowned, but to Gem’s relief, she caved.  “Don’t fall asleep,” she said firmly.  “I’ll check on you.”

“Thank you,” Gem sighed.

Laying on the deck would be boring if not for the throbbing of his head – less than it was, but the painkillers weren’t enough to douse it entirely – and the persistent worries in the back of his mind.  There were several of them, from the hostiles he couldn’t confirm had all been secured, to Ana’s injuries, to the fact that Dr Hewett’s cancer must have worsened whilst in the hands of LI.

True to her word, Ester kept coming back on deck to check on him.  Neither of them were willing to risk moving him – Gem’s nausea and vertigo was not abating, and he was too tall for Ester to feel comfortable lifting – which left him on the deck, but as hostiles remained absent and Ester had no worsening news about her other two patients, Gem found himself starting to relax.

The first sign of the Nautilus docking alongside them was the vibrations of the ship as something hooked onto the Varuna.  Almost immediately he heard familiar voices, although that didn’t stop his head from throbbing at the noise as feet landed on the deck.

“Gem!”  Multiple footsteps ran towards him and he winced as Cooper came into view, golden light glinting off of the Leyden gun in his hands.  Behind him, Gem could make out the rest of the Sharks spreading around the deck, guns at the ready, and finally relaxed fully.  The rest of his house would make sure the ship was secure.

“Cooper, make sure Dev’s not going to give us any more nasty surprises.”  A shock of blue hair heralded Franklin’s arrival as the Orca prefect nudged Gem’s fellow Shark out of the way.  He still looked almost as awful as he had the last time Gem saw him, but that didn’t stop him kneeling down and checking Gem’s pulse.  “You look like you should’ve kept a few more weapons,” the other boy said.  “That’s a bad concussion.”  He held up a hand.  “How many fingers?”

Gem blinked at it.  “Three?” he guessed, before his vision focused a little more.  “Ah, two.”

“Got it the second time,” Franklin confirmed, bringing his hand back down.  “Let’s get you off this deck.  Rhys, give me a hand.  Linzi and Brigid, go see what help Ester needs with Ana and Dr Hewett.”  Gem hadn’t noticed the other Orcas lingering around, and glanced up at Rhys as she knelt down on his other side.

“Do you think he can stand?” the other Orca asked.  Gem grimaced, and Franklin frowned.

“I want to try,” he said.  “If he can’t, he’s worse than he looks.  We’ll take it slow.  Think you can try, Gem?”

“I can try,” Gem confirmed, although the nausea in his throat didn’t seem too keen.  Franklin and Rhys slid their hands underneath his shoulders, and Gem closed his eyes as the world spun.  Nausea threatened again, but somehow it stayed down as the Orcas got him up into a sitting position.

They paused then, letting him resettle for a moment as he breathed through the nausea and the still-persistent throbbing of his head.  “You good to keep going?” Franklin asked him, and Gem opened his eyes a crack.

“Yes,” he said.  His shoulders, lightly aching but nothing compared to his head, made themselves known a bit more as Franklin and Rhys looped his arms around their necks.

“On three,” Franklin said.  “One, two, three.”  Gem closed his eyes again as he was pulled to his feet, feeling his body sway as his balance struggled to settle.  It took a few more moments before he felt remotely steady, and his supporters held still as he staggered to get his feet under him.  Walking was a challenge, but opening his eyes a crack, Gem managed to stumble over to the side of the ship, catching sight of the Nautilus bobbing in the water next to the Varuna.

Boarding was harder, and Franklin enlisted extra help in the form of Virgil and Jack, but eventually Gem found himself being lowered onto a bed in the Nautilus’ sickbay, and he sank gratefully onto it.  The extra anaesthetic supplied by the submarine helped the throbbing of his head fade away further, even when Franklin removed the dressing Ester had placed to give the epicentre of the pain another clean.  To his relief, after some discussion between the Orcas and Ophelia, the decision was reached that his scalp didn’t actually need gluing or stitching back together, just secure bandaging and bedrest.

The biggest relief, though, was when he saw Ana and Dr Hewett being transferred in a short time after his head was re-wrapped.  Both of them looked awful, but the Orcas and Ophelia were all hopeful that Ana, at least, would make a full recovery.  Dr Hewett was still up in the air, but Nautilus immediately started producing something for him, which Ophelia also declared a good sign, and the knot of worry that had been sitting in Gem’s chest since finding his mentor passed out a week earlier loosened slightly.

Not everything was resolved – LI were still a distant threat, despite the defeat of their upperclassmen and the destruction of the Aronnax, and Ana and Dr Hewett were still very much unconscious and expected to stay that way for at least a day – but the main battle was over, Ana, their class, and the Nautilus were all safe, and after a few more checks by Franklin, Gem was cleared to finally pass out from exhaustion after running on adrenaline and shock for the past week.

It didn’t take him long to do exactly that.

[winifred-nhu]

[Fragment] @ventrue-in-control

Winnie Nhu

Jackie Mczyne

Mczyne’s apartment complex

11 April 2023

Joseph Gunn should be allowed to do drugs and this is why

Since 1987, the knowledge that addiction is a debilitating illness that must be treated on a case to case basis has been well known. Today, I hope to convince you that Joseph Gunn should be allowed to take drugs in moderation by going over how long term drug use can change your brain’s structure, the benefits of psychedelics on mental illness, and any concerns that may come up with giving Joseph Gunn drugs.

When your brain is on drugs in your formative years, you are at higher risk of receiving brain damage. One such thing protecting your brain from that is Myelin which acts as a cushion for the messages sent to your brain. According to Sandstone care, “In teens, the protective properties of myelin haven’t been fully developed, so they receive more intense messages.” What this means is that the highs a teen may experience is elevated than an adult and the lows are so much worse. It is no secret that Joseph Gunn has been on drugs for over ten years. The fact he is only around two weeks old makes him about in his mid 20s meaning he has roughly been on drugs since he was at least 14-15. That means in his formative developmental years, Joseph Gunn has been under the influence, unprotected by whatever drugs he took at the time. In Drugs, Brains, and Behavior: The Science of Addiction from the National Institute on Drug use, it states that “Some drugs, such as marijuana and heroin, can activate neurons because their chemical structure mimics that of a natural neurotransmitter in the body.” and even “Other drugs, such as amphetamine or cocaine, can cause the neurons to release abnormally large amounts of natural neurotransmitters or prevent the normal recycling of these brain chemicals by interfering with transporters.” What this causes is long term damage to the neurotransmitters in the brain, oftentimes irreparable damage. And of course, the longer he has been on drugs, the longer he not only needs said substances, but also the more he needs the drugs to be “normal” since his brain no longer is producing the messages he needs to function without it. As I am aware however, Joseph Gunn may have taken this drug use under your care too far and for this I suggest a solution; a different drug.

Something unprecedented has happened in the medical community and that is the overall outstanding support and evidence for psychedelics to have a positive effect on the debilitating effects of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). According to the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, “Hallucinogens are psychoplastogens, fast-acting compounds that support structural and functional neural plasticity, meaning brain cells and pathways can be reshaped and, in some cases, restored after insult or injury.” This means not only treating the system by rebalancing the brain, but repairing what would have been irreversible damage to Joseph Gunn’s brain. Peters Center, a neuroresearch group in this field, also believes that hallucinations may not even be imperative to repair the synapses in your brain. “There’s another camp that believes that hallucinations might not even be necessary for the therapeutic effects of psychedelics, and I would say that I lean more toward the latter view.” he continues on to say “What David has been doing is taking numerous psychedelic scaffolds and converting them into non-hallucinogenic variants of those compounds. And we’ve been able to take some of those into our animal models.” And while yes, hallucinations are argued to be unimportant to such a thing, some scientists even ARGUE that the experience may be important for it to take place for the effects to truly take place. Overall however, as Peters states; “That’s really different from all of our current first-line therapies for depression and substance-use disorder (which often co-occur), like SSRIs or methadone.” and is very promising for people like Joseph Gunn.

There will always be risks and concerns with giving an addict of any kind something they may be addicted to. However, oftentimes, going cold turkey and adding harmful punishments to try and cure drug use may in fact make it worse. According to the National Harm Reduction Coalition on WHAT IS SAFER DRUG USE (AND WHY DOES IT MATTER)?, “There are many reasons someone may be using drugs – and there are other factors besides just drug use itself that can put people in harm’s way.” Things like a bad home life, mental health, even where you lived, and your economic status can up your risk of drug use. While no one size of rehabilitation fits all, it’s important to acknowledge these things or even meet the addict where they are. Not doing so may be risking the life of the patient. By remembering that Addiction is a disease and not a moral failure on the other party’s side, we can better find solutions for Joseph Gunn who needs your help as his guardian.

In conclusion, drugs can damage your brain in irreversible ways if not treated, psychedelics may be a good alternative due to its ability to repair those pathways in the brain, and going cold turkey may do more harm than good in the long run. As the National Harm Reduction Coalition says “We recognize that using drugs introduces risk – but there are ways to make it safer.”

Quinn, Deborah. “Drug Effects on Developing Brains - Teens.” Edited by Sarah Fletcher, Sandstone Care, Sandstone Care, 16 Jan. 2023, https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/effects-of-drugs-on-teens-developing-brains/#gutenblock-block_acf-block-63c58dd347b10.

“Drugs and the Brain.” National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 22 Mar. 2022, https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/drugs-brain.

Melani, Debra. “This Is Your Brain on Mushrooms: How Does Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy Work?” CU Anschutz Newsroom, University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, 21 Nov. 2022, https://news.cuanschutz.edu/news-stories/this-is-your-brain-on-drugs-how-does-psychedelic-assisted-therapy-work#:~:text=The%20therapeutic%20potential%20of%20the,post-traumatic%20stress%20disorder).

Joy_Website_Admin. “Safer Drug Use Resources.” National Harm Reduction Coalition, National Harm Reduction Coalition, 17 Nov. 2022, https://harmreduction.org/issues/safer-drug-use/.