#i mean not that sloppy but i do tend to use a fair amount of saliva

[explanationpoint]

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[blancamz]

“It’s Over Isn’t It” Reanimation progress

Honestly one of my favourite parts about animating is posting the WIPs online. Here’s the step-by-step of how I went about doing my reanimation for the end section of “It’s Over Isn’t It” from the Steven Universe episode Mr. Greg.

1) Idea and Prep

I was flicking through Steven Universe: Art & Origins. I think at the time I must’ve been between jobs or bored or something, because it came into my head to do a bit of animation based on the pilot style SU. I’ve always been quite fond of the pilot style, especially Pearl’s David Bowie / LaRoux look. The little tux design by Hellen Jo was quite snazzy as well, so I decided to have a go at doing a segment of “It’s Over Isn’t It”, using these designs.

I traced the turnaround from the book in Clip Studio Paint and approximated Jo’s design to it. At first I had the colour turnaround, but did the low-colour turnaround with the heads to give me a better idea of where the lines are and proportions of the body. I also get a clip of “It’s Over Isn’t It” and trim it down to the section I want to do.

This is a long one so strap in.

2) Sketch Pass

I’ll be using gifs that show the first 100-130 frames of the animation, because the full segment is 22 seconds long.

Very very loose animation of what I’m going to be doing with this segment, done in Adobe Animate. I have a video of the real segment in the corner of the stage and audio in the timeline, and closely reference them for layout and acting.

I’ve decided I want to go really nuts with the animation. Lots of angles on her face, smooth movement, secondary animation / follow-through on her various clothing elements. Technically her earring’s supposed to be on the other side but I want to animate that flailing around dangit, so I change it so it faces the camera.

3) Rough Pass

I tidy up the rough I did somewhat. It’s still very rough, but Pearl is better proportioned and the motion is more complete. I get a better idea of how she moves by focusing on drawing keys (the most important drawings) and breakdowns (drawings that help you figure out the motion a little bit, without full animation). I have Pearl, her suit, ruffles and earring on separate layers so I can turn things on and off or lower their opacity as needed.

4) Tiedowns

At some point between the rough and tie-down phase I realized that I’d been animating at 30fps instead of 25fps like I’d meant to, so I had to end up shifting all the roughs I’d been doing. Bad news: having to wrestle with getting the timings I’d so carefully planned out in the rough to still look good. Good news: I have to animate and clean up 5 fewer frames per second, so that’s 110 fewer drawings to worry about. Yussssss. For reference, the above clip has now gone from 132 frames to 107.

During the tiedown phase, I go over the roughs and more carefully try to match the proportions in the turnaround. I keep a flattened version of the first frame of animation to use as reference thoughout to prevent morphing. Sometimes when you’re animating, things will get bigger or small as you re-draw them, so it’s good to have a base drawing to refer back to and make the sizes stay consistent.

At this point I’m way more aware of reasons behind the big design change for Pearl between the pilot and the show. She’s so dang skinny and tall with that extra poof of hair up top that she’s really annoying to frame up. If you want to keep all of her in the frame, there’s going to be tons of empty space.

I also find that my turnaround isn’t enough reference for Pearl’s awkwardly-shaped head. I snap me a bunch of screenshots of pearl’s head from different angles and collate them into a big sheet.

5) Inbetweening

Inbetweening, aka filling out all the gaps in the timeline between the keys and breakdowns. If you’ve done your keys and BD’s well, inbetweening can be a pretty straight-forward.

But I’ve got like a million bits of secondary animation to content with, which means this still takes a significant amount of time. The hair and ruffles have to move a little later than the rest of the body, and some parts of the ruffles have to move at a different rate from the rest. I’m trying to animate like there’s wind since Pearl’s on top of a tall building. I keep animating until it feels good enough.

This is what my timeline and stage look like in Animate by this point. The animation is mostly on 2s, with some 1s, 3s and 4s thrown in when needed.

6) Cleanup and Colour

I did the cleanup in Toon Boom Harmony. As a program, I like it was more than Animate, even though it isn’t without it’s flaws. But it’s also really dang expensive. Fortunately, by this point I’d been working on the upcoming Deadendia series for Netflix. What with the pandemic, we were working from home and the studio gave me a license for Toon Boom. So I exported my frames from Animate, put ‘em in TB and started cleaning up.

I’ve found that cleanup is something that’s often offloaded to new or less experienced artists at studios because blah it’s just tracing the rough animation. But you’ve got good cleanup and bad cleanup, and a good cleanup artist will compensate for flaws in volume and have a good, clear and natural line.

I’m not terribly fond of doing cleanup myself. I feel I tend to end up rushing, which leads to sloppy work. I tried really hard to keep up a standard here.

7) Comping

a.k.a. Compositing, the final layering of the various elements before exporting a film. Another stage I don’t quite care for because of its nuances. Also drawing backgrounds.

I admit that I’m not very good at drawing backgrounds or environments. I tried to do the one for the second shot of this animation, since it was acutally really important. In shots 1 and 3, you don’t really see the ground or even the railing that Pearl is leaning on, but 2 is a wide shot. My first attempts at it were unfortunate. Fortunately my husband @joe-sparrow is both good at backgrounds and good at imitating the style and colour palette of the show. He volunteered to do the BGs and I accepted. See mine vs. his:

So yeah, get me some nice backgrounds, put the animation on top, then fiddle with a couple of elements in the comp to give things a little bit more depth. During this stage, errors that had happened during the animation progress that I hoped would just go away became annoyingly obvious, so there was a fair bit of going back to fix them.

So that’s how I done made this animation. I started April 2018 and posted in on January 1st 2021, so that’s over 1.5 years it took me to do these 22 seconds of animation. However, I wasn’t working on it continuously through that time. Sometimes I’d be working on it every day, other times I’d not touch it for weeks or months at a time. It really depended on how busy or whatever I was at the time. I think if I’d been working on it non-stop, it still would’ve taken me at least like 2-3 months to finish it.

If you made it to the end of this post, I hope you found all this information interesting.

Happy drawing.

It’s over, isn’t it.

[cowtale-utau]

Oh I would absolutely love to learn more about human magic!! And for a soulmate, would an S/O’s magic match their skelly soulmate? Or would it be unique to them?

So I can probably make several decently large posts on magic, both human and monster, but for now I'm going to try to do a concise (ish) post on where I'm pulling my HC's for magic from, how it works, and what it can do. I'll also probably include a bit on some known existent mages (cough Frisk/Chara cough), and you asked for some info on soulmates so I'll see what I can do with human souls, soulmates, and monster/human soulmates. (in my drafts I called this the “short version”, it will not be short)

So I'm largely basing human magic off the Mage system from the table-top pen-and-paper rpg Mage, part of the World of Darkness franchise. The Wiki for it has lots of good info and interesting lore if you wanna read into it.

It works in 'spheres' or nine branches/types of magic/facets of reality. Now I'm bending a lot of the lore so don't assume this is a perfect match for the Mage RPG. I used it as a template to work from, and have incorporated some of the lore, but I've also dismissed and altered other large chunks of Mage RPG canon. (basically if you play Mage or read the wiki, don't @ me, I know it's “wrong” ok, I wanted it that way ;p)

Correspondence Essentially the “space” half of time/space. Covers things like teleportation, levitation, flying, and remote viewing. Combines with other spheres to create distance/ranged/area effects. Also allows for the creation of sub-space. It is limited however, in that it only covers space. To move a body, one must combine it with Life. For an object, Matter. Correspondence is a sphere that is fairly easy to learn the basics, and extremely difficult to master.

Entropy Chaos, Order, Luck, Destiny, Creation, Destruction. The natural order of things. The ability to sense and manipulate probability and patterns. Allows one to tap into the natural entropic cycle. The more complex an “object” the easier it is to break. Much like Correspondence, one must be able to use the other applicable sphere(s) to achieve an effect. A tricky sphere to use and control. It tends to be a bit resistant to manipulation by most Mages.

Forces The sphere that allows manipulation of “energy”. Light, heat, vibration, radiation, gravity. While this can be done instinctively, that tends to be sloppy and dangerous. The more one understands about the energy/force they're trying to manipulate the better off they'll be. However one should be mindful that they do not allow the knowledge gained to restrict them. Magic cares not for what human science says is or isn't true. How easy the sphere is to work with depends largely on how much effort one puts into learning the background knowledge. Or how how willing they are to risk brute forcing it.

Life Anything living, or with life energy. Can be used to heal, or unheal. Modify biological entities. Create disease or grow plants. Restore youth. Life as a sphere has many wonderful, helpful applications, and just as many horrifying ones. One can heal and cure and fix, but also cause untold damage. To fully grasp and master life, one must understand how life connects to itself, and the cycles in which it exists. The chain between predator and prey. How simple it is to learn is largely dependent on how much understanding you already have of the subject you're trying to alter.

Matter Non living/inorganic things. Also covers all the elements on the periodic table. Works very well when combined with other spheres. Entropy to break an object, Forces to animate inanimate things, Correspondence to move objects, Time to alter them temporally. Allows the Mage to alter but also to see and understand the make up of an object. Arguably one of the easiest to learn and use, given that it inherently allows you to pick up understanding of what you're working with on the go.

Mind Covers consciousness and how a person perceives reality. Knowledge, imagination, emotion. Can be used to alter memory, thinking, emotions, perception, and concentration among other things. Mind is a bit different from other spheres in that one does not need an understanding of how the “mind” works to utilize it well. Talent in this sphere comes down to mostly practice and natural inclination.

Prime Primal Energy, the raw magical force of the world. Often considered an almost Holy Power. A Prime Mage can detect/sense magic, enchant objects or living things, cut off another Mage's access to magic and it is often used to bolster or power other magics. Prime is the source from which all other magic springs. Having skill in Prime is tricky as there's no deeper understanding to help you, beyond the understanding that you can't understand. That it is a power beyond you, and can strike back at any moment.

Spirit Something connected to but separate from the concept of souls. The culmination of hope, emotion, and thought. A skilled Spirit Mage can touch or even pass through the wall between the tangible world, the void, and what lies beyond. Allows one to reach out, speak to, and interact with spirits lost to the physical world. A Mage less morally inclined could even, with enough power, subjugate those beings. Using and mastering the Spirit sphere requires a strong understanding and sense of self, while also being able to release physical/material ties and limits.

Time Time is sort of self explanatory. Though time as a concept is not a straight forward as many assume. Very much subjective to the observer. A Time Mage is more aware than most that while time naturally moves forward (mostly), it contracts and dilates, whirls and twists. It jumps, and branches, and curves back on itself. A Time Mage can know the exact time at any time, and sense distortions in the time line. They can slow time, rewind or loop, create anchor (save) points, and with enough skill they can outright time travel or exist outside the timeline entirely. To master Time is to understand it as an esoteric and inexact science.

Humans pull their magic externally. This is both more freeing and more restricting than monsters. They can do just about anything they can imagine, assuming they can figure out how, have the respective understanding and magical inclinations, and the world allows it. Sometimes whatever source, force, whatever, the magic comes from, disagrees with a Mage. And the backlash can be catastrophic. And while a Mage cannot “drain” themselves to the point of death, they can over channel, and over load. The end result is the same.

Related Side Note ; Monster magic is much more free form and almost entirely “intent” based. This means technically any monster can learn any magic type. However some souls are better suited for certain types than others. Some just can't muster up the intent needed. They also tend to not be able to do things quite on the scale that Mages can. Monster magic is pulled from themselves. It's a part of their soul, and fueled by their soul. They have a much more limited pool. Mind you, some monsters still have immense pools of magic they can pull from, and high regen rates, but still ultimately are more limited than humans. (Side note, if a monster uses up their “pool” the can continue using magic, but its a good way to die very quickly as it drains on their souls directly)

As for existing Mages, the obvious would be Frisk/Chara. Correspondence and Time. Possibly Prime. I'm actually unsure on Spirit, but leaning towards no. If you want more on that lemme know. I could discuss it a fair amount I think.

The other part of your question ; Soulmates.

There are essentially three types of bonds that fall under what most would consider “soulmates”. Kindred Spirits, Soul Mates, and Twin Flames. Any of these bonds can be platonic, romantic, or anything in between. Friends, lovers, rivals.

Kindred Spirits – Compatible. Someone with who you find forming an easy, comfortable bond. Often very similar to ourselves in a comforting way. Someone to whom we easily relate and connect to.

Soulmates – Complementary. A near perfect resonation. The traditional idea behind most soulmate lore. One can meet multiple soulmates in their lives, though they're not quite as common as Kindred Spirits.

Twin Flames – Twin Flames are the other half of an incomplete soul. A perfect mirror. Both the same and opposite in everywhere. Twin Flames rarely exist in the same world at the same time. When they do they are often both drawn to and repelled by one another. It is a bond existing beyond defining, beyond platonic/romantic labels. You're greatest ally, worst enemy, deepest love, your Twin Flame, is undeniable bound to you no matter what.

While Kindred Spirits and Soulmates won't necessarily have “matching” magic, their magic is often compatible/complementary to some degree in it's natural leanings.

If you want more info on anything specific, let me know. 💜

[fullymechanized-consoomer]

40K factions and you

Space Marines:

Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below

8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually. 

edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike” 

Imperial Guard:

You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is. 

edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.

Eldar:

You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations

And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.

Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool. 

Dark Eldar

You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t- 

Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff  a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game. 

edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great. 

Orks

Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child  everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun. 

edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them

Necrons

You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.

Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!

Tau

You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian. 

Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise. 

Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.

Chaos

Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models��� spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and  everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?

Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once. 

Sisters of Battle

GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women. 

Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:

Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game

Tyranids

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.  

Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy. 

Grey Knights

HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.”  You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?

Custodes

You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.

Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army. 

Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does. 

[huntertales]

Part Three: Game Over. (Pac-Man Fever S08E20)

Episode Summary: Concerned about the physical toll the second trial took on the reader, the boys force her to take a break from hunting until she heals up. So, when the geektastic hacker Charlie Bradbury stumbles upon a case and finds the trio, she talks her way into letting Dean teach her how to be a hunter-in-training. While happy to see “her highness”, the reader and the boys feels Charlie is hiding a secret that could get her killed. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 5.793.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Everyone harbors a secret buried deep in them, a problem they don’t show to the world. You had your fair share of them over the years. Charlie’s came in the version of her vegetative mother she was trying to keep alive for long as she could. Because it was the only thing she close to a family. You and Dean talked to a few nurses who had been at the hospital long enough to give you a brief insight to who Gertrude was as a person. From what you gathered it seemed like she was a sweet woman who loved her family dearly, but was taken too early. It was a tale you were all too familiar with. 

The both of you headed back to the bunker and repeated what you learned to Sam, who seemed taken aback at the news. It was one thing to lose a parent, but to know they were no longer while lying in a hospital bed was even more heartbreaking. Charlie was doing everything she could to keep the presence of her mother alive. Much as she fought and tried to believe the body was good enough for the real thing, it wasn’t. There wasn't enough money in the world to cure the damage that was already done.

"Did you find anything?" You asked Sam, taking a seat at the table in the library. 

“I think so. A John Doe from nine years ago. The original coroner wanted the body sent to the CDC, but the coroner’s new assistant ‘accidentally’ ordered the body to be burned.” Sam turned around his laptop to show you and his brother the medical report on the body. You looked up from the screen and gave him a curious look at the mention of the mention of this assistant. It seemed you crossed paths before with her. “Jennifer O’Brian.” 

“Corner’s a hell of a cover for hiding kills.” Dean said. 

“Look at this. CDC never heard from Jennifer this time either.” Sam said. “She faked the reports, burned the bodies to cover her tracks.”  

“Why’d she get sloppy again after nine years, start leaving bodies where they could be found?” You wondered out loud. She had the perfect job to hide her kills and get away with her meals without any hunter getting suspicious. Something made her start to slip up and get messy, and you wanted to know.

“Well, let’s go ask her. According to this,” Sam pulled up police records of Jennifer and the two properties she owned that were red flags on their own for you to be suspicious. “She owns two pieces of property in town—one two-bedroom house about ten minutes from here and an abandoned shipping warehouse.”

Of course she did. Monsters always need a secret hideout to consume their victims before dumping them somewhere. And when an unsuspecting bystander found the body, she was able to swoop in and forge some paperwork before burning their bodies. It was a perfect cover that she was able to get away with for almost a decade. Jennifer had her last meal once you got down with her. And it wasn't going to be Charlie, you were going to make sure of that.

+ + +

You and the boys made it to the warehouse armed with the one thing that could kill a djinn. You encountered a few during yours of hunting, and while they tried to feed off people you cared for—one even tried to kill you as well, but they always suffered the same fate. You followed behind Dean when he went left, Sam kept going straight when you made your way deeper into the building. You tightened your grip around the handle of the knife, looking for any sort of sign for Jennifer, all while keeping your eyes on the lookout for Charlie. You weren't sure how deep a djinn snatched their meals, but it seemed Jennifer liked to keep them close. You breathed a slight sigh of relief when you caught sight of Charlie, despite the condition you found her in. 

You and Dean made your way over to Charlie when you saw the coast was clear from Jennifer, giving you a chance to somehow wake the red head up from the trance she was under. You whispered Charlie’s name a few times and pushed on her shoulder slightly, hoping it would do the trick to wake her up. But she was out cold. You thought for a second you were too late from the blue hand print you saw on her wrist, but her shallow breathing and slow pulse told you she was still fighting for a chance at survival. You didn’t have much of a chance at getting her out of this. There was only one way of curing her from the djinn’s poison that you knew of, and there was one way to get it. 

You left Dean alone with Charlie when you heard an echo of commotion coming not too far from the warehouse, catching your attention when you wandered towards it. Despite Dean’s warnings for you to stay back, you followed the noise to see it was Jennifer herself trying to pick a fight with Sam. It seemed Sam was close to winning, but Jennifer was stronger than she looked. While she began rolling up her sleeve to make the younger Winchester her next meal, you snuck up from behind and took her by surprise when you plunged the knife into her back. You swiftly pulled it out and stepped back as you saw her body hit the ground. 

“You okay?” You asked him. 

Sam ignored the situation he landed himself in and asked where Charlie was. You reassured him that you and Dean found her, but you needed to get the antidote from Jennifer before it was too late. Sam took the syringe from his pocket and stabbed it into Jennifer, taking out the amount of fluid you needed before running back to where Charlie was. He wasted no time in tending to Charlie and curing her from whatever was going on in her body. You impatiently waited for something to happen, but after a few seconds, Charlie remained motionless, causing you to start panicking that you did something wrong. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Dean asked, wondering why the antidote wasn’t working. 

“I don’t know. Uh, different djinn.” Sam guessed as to the reason why this wasn’t working like you thought. “Maybe she needs a different antidote.”

“Charlie?” You bent down slightly to try and wake her up, but she was still. And her skin felt awfully warm to the touch, something you didn’t notice just a few minutes before. You placed your hand against her forehead to feel her skin, it was hot to the touch. Her body was running a fever. “She’s burning up, guys. We’re not letting her turn to Jell-o.” 

“Okay, okay. Uh...okay. Djinn poison puts your brain into something like a feedback loop while your blood boils, right?” Sam said, you nodded your head at the information you already knew. “If the antidote didn’t break the loop, then maybe we can find a way to break it from the inside. I mean, the djinn take you to your happy place. Your happy place is like a dream.”

“African dream root.” Both of the boys came to the conclusion at the same time, causing them to talk in sync. 

You had only gotten a taste of dream root once before and the trip that you went on was into Bobby's head after he fell asleep and never woke up. The stuff tasted awful and you didn't have fond memories of the things you went through weren't pleasant. But it was your only way of getting Charlie to snap out of it. You held the mason jar of the things you needed in order for the dream root to work. Dean poured in some of the powdered substance before you plucked one of Charlie's hair from her head and into the drink to give you access into her mind. While Dean grabbed a chair, thinking he was the only one going on this trip, you took your chance to sneak yourself on when you quickly took a swing of the stuff. 

You managed to get the vile and murky drink down without gagging before the cup was ripped from your hand. Dean was rightfully pissed at what you were doing, your body was already in a weakened state as it was. Who knows what the dream root could do to your body even more. He plucked another hair from Charlie's head and chugged the rest of the concoction before shoving the empty jar to Sam’s grip. The look on Dean’s face was clear enough he was ready to tell you what you were doing was stupid, but it wasn’t exactly the time or the place to do it. 

"You can lecture me all you want after we get back." You said, already having a clue the words that were going to come out of his mouth. The first time you used dream root you were out in a matter of seconds. The stuff was taking a little longer than you wanted, but you could feel it working when you felt your eyelids starting to grow heavier. "But Charlie's my friend, too. She’d do…” 

Before you could finish what you were trying to say, you found yourself slipping out of consciousness faster than Dean. Sam managed to catch your body before you hit the ground. He set you down on the chair that was meant for Dean to keep you somewhere safe while you went off to wander around in Charlie's head. Dean was waiting for the effect to hit him fast as it did for you, but he felt nothing. Which meant he was going to have to do this with some extra help from his brother. 

“All right, I’m gonna need to go to sleep fast to catch up with Y/N, so, punch me. And look, man I know you don’t want to, okay?” Dean thought his brother would feel bad to lay one on him, but it seemed showed no hesitance from the sucker punch he directed to his face. While it was enough to hurt like a bitch, Dean was still very much conscious. “Well, you’re a little off your game there, ‘cause that was pretty—”

Sam swung his fist to give his brother an uppercut that did the job. He watched as Dean fell to the ground, the hit to the head from the impact did the job as well. Sam nudged his foot again Dean's leg, wondering if he was still conscious. The man laid on the ground, out light a light, joining you in Charlie's head to a setting you weren't expecting to wake up to. Someone’s mind was a personal place that really told you who they were as a person if you were given a chance to take a peek inside. Their biggest fears were things that nobody told you about were out in the open for you to discover.

When you took a peak around in Bobby’s head it was in his home before he took up hunting and being haunted by his wife that was possessed by a demon, the man had no clue what that was at the time. He stabbed her to death in a way of self defense. Yours was being haunted by your inner demon half that only you knew about at the time. And Dean’s was turning into a black eyed monster himself in some motel. Charlie’s was...a setting that took you by surprise. 

You woke up in a very uncomfortable chair with what sounded like jazz music playing in the background, the setting you noticed was strange when you opened up your eyes. It looked like you were in someone’s office from the things you spotted around the place, and in the wrong generation from the picture you saw up on the wall of a president from the past. Not to mention the old school equipment you spotted from the typewriter and record player. You saw Dean lying face down on the desk, dressed in clothes that fit the time period. A lab coat with a military uniform, his hair parted on the side and smoothed down. You furrowed your brow slightly at his clothing. It seemed you were dressed differently, too.

You glanced down at your clothes to see you were in a nurse's uniform, the vintage kind from the starch white dress with stockings and white shoes to match. You placed a hand on your head to feel the hat to tie the look all together, and felt around at your hair to see that it was different as well. You slowly looked over at Dean, the both of you confused as to what the hell was going on. You didn’t waste any time getting up to your feet while Dean ditched the lab coat, thinking it wasn't exactly necessary. While you looked around more where you ended up, Dean made his way over to the record player to turn off the music. He took off the needle from the record, but the music kept playing all on its own. You looked around the office a little more to figure out what was going on, you stumbled upon something a bit unsettling. 

“Looks like someone didn’t want someone getting in.” You said, pointing to the door with a heavy metal table pressed against it. “Wonder what.”

"Only one way to find out." Dean mumbled. He made his way over to the table and shoved it to the side and away from the door. When he noticed one of the legs was loose, he brought up leg to swiftly break it off, using it as a weapon for whatever was out there. "Stay behind me, okay?”

You nodded your head to reassure him you weren’t going to go running off. He opened up the door and peeked out into the hall, quickly taking a look around the place to make sure the coast was clear. When it was, you followed behind him into the hallway where you discovered a gruesome sight you weren’t expecting to find. It seemed you and Dean were in some kind of military base, and you were the only ones alive. You noticed dead bodies laying all over the ground, nurses and men dressed in uniforms, their clothes bloody. You tried your hardest not to step on them while you noticed the blood was on the walls as well. Someone had went crazy and went on a killing spree. You weren’t sure how any of this had to do with Charlie. You walked up to a nurse to see there was a newspaper tucked underneath her body. You bent down and picked it up from the ground, reading the headline: “Truman Denies Military Experiments.” 

You furrowed your brow slightly at the year you caught on the paper. “1951? Why the hell are we in 1951?”

And where the hell was Charlie in all of this bloody situation? You dropped the paper to the ground and continued on following Dean when he kept walking in hopes he could figure out for himself what was going on. He spotted an elevator and tried to see if he worked when he pressed on the buttons, but nothing happened. He tried to somehow pry open the doors to see if he could get access inside, but the both of you were about to have company. You turned your head at the sounds of growling and saw there was two very undead looking coming your way, a look of hunger in their eyes. You looked over your shoulder to see if there was a chance to escape or even a room to sneak yourselves into, but you were at a dead end. Dean used all of his strength to somehow open the doors to give you a chance at getting away from them, it ended up useless. 

For a second you thought this was going to be end for you and Dean, but before you could become food, the elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal the person you were looking for. Charlie stood there looking like she jumped straight out of some Rambo movie from the cargo pants and heavy ammunition she carried around. The eye patch was a little weird if you had to be honest. Charlie nodded her head for the both of you to get back so she could save the day. You did as you were told, letting her take down the monsters with two simple shots. You had so many questions as to what the hell was going on, before you could, Charlie placed a hand on your shoulder and repeated a famous movie line to you and Dean.

“Come with me if you want to live.” She said in an overly dramatic voice to match the line. You gave her a look to cut the little action hero she was playing. She shrugged her shoulders, handing over the two guns she was conveniently carrying around. "I've always wanted to say that. What are you two doing in my dream?"

“You were attacked by a djinn. The coroner, Jennifer, remember? Djinn usually send you to your happy place. And, no judgement,” You said to Charlie, catching her up to speed about what was going on here. “But you gotta a really strange sense of happy, kiddo.” 

“Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Jennifer said that her kind feeds off fear.” Charlie seemed to know the events that led her here, but it seemed this wasn’t a dream where she could be a badass and kill some monsters. It was much darker than it seemed. “This isn’t my happy place. This is a recurring nightmare of mine.”

“What is this?” Dean asked, curious to know where he was.

“It’s a video game.” Charlie said. 

“Wait a second.” Dean tried to make sense of what he had just heard, wondering how the hell it had to do with her fears. “You’re telling me that this whole thing is a video game?” 

“It was called ‘The Red Scare.’ A first-person shooter against super-soldier vampires. I copied it off of a game company’s server before it was finished, reprogrammed it to reflect my flamingly liberal politics, and then I released it for free.” Charlie told you more about it, putting the pieces together of the things you already knew. “Then they tracked me down and had me arrested. I was twelve.” 

“And you’ve been on the run ever since.” You finished for her, taking a guess she did all of this after her parents had died. It was her coping mechanism to help with the grief. 

“So, how do we get out of here?” Charlie asked, hoping you had the answer. 

“We don’t know. We gave you the djinn antidote. It didn’t take.” You said. “And I even killed the djinn myself.” 

Charlie’s question took you by surprise. “Both of them?”

The mention of another djinn running round there made a frustrated sigh fall out from your mouth, you wondered why things like this happen. It was never easy as you hoped it would be. All of you decided to see if there was some kind of exit you could walk out of, maybe a back door to sneak out and bring yourself to the real world. But the father you wandered around the hospital, you only stumbled upon more dead bodies and rooms you couldn’t go into.

“We got to get back and help Sammy. Tell me more about this game.” Dean said. “Maybe if we can win—”

Before he could finish his sentence, you were bombarded with more of those super-soldier vampires Charlie had mentioned. You were prepared this time to face up against them, taking down two on your own after firing off a few shots with perfect aim. It seemed while you were walking around in Charlie's head you were back to your normal feeling self. Still didn't mean you want to be sticking around here for longer than you wanted. And you wanted to get the hell out of this place quickly as you could. 

“Look, I don’t know how long I’ve been out, but I’ve been through this level a thousand times already.” Charlie admitted. You gave her a confused look to how that was possible. “Every time I beat the level and save the patients, I get reset back to the beginning, only there’s less weapons and the vampires are faster.” Speaking of vampires, you turned around to take one down that was creeping from behind while Charlie took care of the other that was slowly approaching the three of you. "It's an infinite loop. Like Pac-Man without level two-fifty-six."

“Level what?” Dean asked, not understanding the reference to the game. Charlie brushed it off and started to walk faster. He quickly caught up with her, wanting to know more about what else she had mentioned. “Wait, what patients?” 

Charlie lead both of you to the infirmary where the patients she had talked about currently were. She grabbed a stable piece of metal that was mostly used for IV bags and placed it into the door handles to board up the room and you slide over a rolling table to make it harder for those vampires to get inside. While she peeked out the small window that looked into the hallway, you took it upon yourself to peek around and figure out who these patients were that Charlie was so desperately trying to save. You slid back one of the curtains to reveal a familiar face. You let out a sigh, having a feeling what this really was all of this was about. 

"Charlie," You called out her name, summoning her to where you were standing at the moment. She peered inside to one of the patients she was supposed to be saving. "I know who this is." 

Charlie pulled out the curtain to reveal her mother that she never mentioned before. She never really spoke about her childhood growing up to you. She seemed taken aback at seeing her comatose mother. When she turned her head to look at you, Charlie was confused as to what she was doing here. And how you knew her mother, Gertrude. "What are you talking about?"

"When you went missing, the boys and I found your little crash pad. We saw the payments you were making for her."  You told her the truth of how you even ended up here in the first place. Charlie’s big secret she had been trying to hide for years was finally out in the air. You weren’t sure if she looked relieved, or scared with the fact that it was out in the open. "So Dean and I visited your mom, looking for you." 

"She's why I'm in Kansas." Charlie admitted to you. It wasn't some comic convention or just to say hello. She was visiting her mother, trying her hardest to keep the woman alive in her life for long as she could. "I sneak into the hospital whenever I can, and I just...I read to her. She used to read to me to sleep at night when I was a kid. She read me 'The Hobbit.'" Her confession made your heart break for her. And you realized why she had given you that book in particular to you as a present. Because it held fond memories of her childhood. Charlie was trying her hardest not to let her emotions get the best of her, but you could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "She's the reason why I love the stuff I love." 

"I'm sorry for your loss." Dean whispered to her, thinking it was the only appropriate response to a situation like this. Charlie's expression twisted from the harsh words she didn't want to believe was true. You let out a sigh from the reality she was trying to keep at bay.

“She’s not gone.” Charlie told the both of you flat out.

Charlie pushed back the curtain to hide away her mother from all of you, like she was still trying to keep the lie going on in her head for long as she could. You looked over at Dean from the lack of progress you were making here. All of you were trapped with no way out. You made your way to the doors to see if you could peek outside into the hall and see if there was any vampires coming your way. Dean reached for one of the other curtains to see if there was any other patients here that Charlie had from her past. When he opened it up and saw there was in fact someone else lying in one of the beds, Dean felt his heart stop for a moment. 

You steadied a hand on the window and peered in closer outside, distracted by keeping a look out you had no clue there was another version of you in Charlie's mind. She was lying in the hospital bed, dressed in a gown, looking like Charlie's comatose mother. Dean found your name slipping out of his mouth, not sure what the hell was going on. Maybe Charlie had a fear of losing you, too. Maybe running around in her head while under the spell of the djinn was making his own worst fears come true. Charlie seemed slightly confused as to what you were doing here when she caught him staring at another body with a hint of fear in his eyes.

“Is this my nightmare or yours?” Charlie whispered to the man.

"Guys," You broke their attention away from whatever they were looking at and towards the company you had coming your way. You stepped away from the double doors to keep your distance as Dean pulled the curtain back to hide what he was staring at. "There's a lot of them. Probably three. And there's more where that came from." 

“This is it—the boss battle.” Charlie said, seeming to know what was going on here. “Come on, we got to save the patients.”  

“Wait, wait. You said that we’re stuck in a loop, right? And out there in the real world, you’re dying. Dean and I might be, too. We gotta find a way to break this loop.” You said. You tried to remember the time that Dean had gotten attacked by a different kind of djinn that liked to put their victims under some kind of spell. Except it didn't feed off fear, it gave you everything you ever wanted. The only way Dean could escape was to let go of the life he couldn't have, and kill himself to break away from the djinn's  trap. You shot off another round when one of the vampires punched their fist through the window, trying anything they could to break down the door and get to you.  "I think the only way to stop this is to not play." 

“What? No. No. We’ve got to save them. Nut up, Y/L/N.” Charlie said. You didn't know what was going to happen if you were attacked by those vampires. Maybe there was a chance you could be reset back to the beginning and start this cycle all over again. But there was also a chance you could be very well killed and that was it for you. Dean wanted to see if your theory was right, yet he was forced to shoot off another round when the vampires kept trying to break down that damn door. "See? Dean can't stop. Neither one of you can." 

“I think Y/N’s right about this. Now listen to me, this poison—it’s designed to put your mind into an endless cycle while your insides turn to mush, okay? And its fuel is fear. And call me crazy, but I really do think the only way to break this cycle is to let go of the fear and stop playing the game.” Dean tried to persuade Charlie that it was the only way to win this game. Charlie refused to believe so. She shot off yet another round when one of the vampires was trying to take out the metal rod, causing a sizeable damage in the door. It was how they were sneaking their way in the first place. “I know that your fear is creating all of this. But you’re not afraid of those super-soldier vamps out there, and you’re not afraid of this game, and you’re not afraid of what it did to you.”

Dean was trying his hardest for Charlie to look in the mirror and face herself and the problems she was avoiding for long as she possibly could. But someone needed to force her to take a hard look into the reality. You grabbed her by the shoulders before she could reload her gun and made her look at you straight in the eye, so she could finally listen to the truth. “You’re afraid of losing her. Charlie,” You dropped your voice to a whisper from the words that were about to come out of your mouth. It was something not even you wanted to say. “She’s already gone.” 

“No. You don’t understand. You don’t understand. I was at a sleepover, and I got scared, so…” called my parents to come and get me. They should have never been driving that night.” Charlie admitted the burden she carried around since she was twelve. It was the guilt and fear that had manifested itself into the idea that she was to blame for what happened. You knew the burden of feeling like someone’s death was your fault, but you told her that it wasn’t. She was just a scared child who wanted her parents. And she still was. You squeezed her arms in a comforting manner when you felt her start to shake under your grip and the tears formed in her eyes. “I just want to tell her that I’m sorry and I love her and just to have her hear it again. I just need to her to hear that one more time. But she can’t. She can’t.” 

“We know, Charlie. Believe me, we know. But you got to let her go.” Dean said. Those vampires outside pounding on the door and trying to break it down weren't monsters, they were manifestations of her emotions she had been keeping at bay since she was twelve. She needed to let them come in in order to free herself. "Game over, kiddo." 

You dropped your arms back down to   it at the door, making you believe that she was going to do the same thing. But Charlie couldn’t. She knew you and Dean were right. Much as it was going to hurt and make her feel things she had tried her hardest to avoid, it was the right thing to do. It would be what her mother would want to do. And that was to let go. 

Charlie dropped the gun down to her side, admitting defeat at the monsters she had spent all these years trying to fight. You heard the growing stop just seconds later. When you looked over to the doors, you noticed they were gone. And the place had suddenly grown eerily quiet. Dean made his way over to the entrance and took it upon himself to make sure the coast was clear. He pushed away the rolling table and threw the metal rod to the ground. Opening the double doors and standing outside to the chaos that lead you here, it was all gone. If they were gone…

Charlie walked over to where her mother was. Pulling back the curtain, she noticed the bed was empty, almost like nobody had been there the entire time. Or they had checked out, finally at peace. Charlie still found herself whispering the woman's title one last time in hope she could hear her. "Mom?"

+ + +

You slowly found yourself coming back to consciousness after forcing Charlie to face her demons that got her in trouble in the first place. Everyone had burdens they wanted to hide and pretend they didn’t exist. But at some point life was going to make you face them. You realized you were in the hospital anymore and back at the warehouse, sitting in what felt to be another chair. But you were back in your clothes and in the real world. You were back in your own clothes and in the real world from the looks of it. You blinked a few times to get your vision to focus when you saw someone in your eye sight, it sounded like Sam. He was kneeling on the ground so he was at your level, trying to get you to wake up when he saw the dream root was starting to wear off. 

“Y/N? Y/N, hey. Hey! Come here” Sam’s voice brought you back to reality. You saw him breathe a sigh of relief when he saw you finally back to yourself. You grabbed ahold of his hand and steadied yourself back up to your feet. Dean came around himself just a few seconds later. You wondered why he was lying on the ground the entire time. “You guys okay? What happened?”

“We’re okay.” Dean reassured his younger brother. While you and Dean had made it out in one piece with no lasting damage, you weren't worried about yourself. But Charlie when she awoke herself. She sat there for a few seconds, everything she had went through came rushing back to her. You let out a heavy sigh as you gave her a guilty look for the things you forced her to go through with. "Charlie, I'm sorry. We had to." 

Charlie knew what you and Dean did was for her own safety, and you loved her too much to let her die like that. What she needed right now was for someone to hold her. Maybe it was your maternal instincts that were starting to kick in, maybe you just wanted to be a good friend and comfort Charlie in her time of need. You wrapped her into a tight embrace when she went to you before she started to cry. You quietly shushed her in a way a mother would for her crying child. and placed a hand against the back of her head. You shut your eyes and squeezed her close to you, reminding her that she wasn't alone anymore. 

"It's gonna be okay, sweetheart." You whispered to her. "You're gonna be okay. I promise." 

[Next Part]

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[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, BREE! You’ve been accepted for the role of BIANCA. Admin Rosey: I think the first thing that came to mind was how powerfully you captured Bunny's voice, Bree. You. Absolutely. Killed it. Your plot points built upon one after the other which shows how you plan to lay the foundation for her and force her to grow, no matter how much she kicks up her heels about it. It can be difficult trying to force a character like Bunny to grow without taking away from what makes her so intriguing and fun, but wow. Am I so very glad to have her added to the ranks, ready to bring us chaos and absolute ruin. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Bree.

Age | Twenty.

Preferred Pronouns | She/her.

Activity Level | I’m studying engineering and running collegiately, so the short answer is that I’m not entirely sure. The long answer is that my activity will ebb and flow depending on my schedule; some weeks are easier than others. But I’ll do my damnedest to be around, even if that means firing off ugly-formatted replies on mobile (or having Rosey or Kiersten format them for me… we’ve done it before).

Timezone | CST.

How did you find the rp?  | English class my senior year of high school, with the help of Rosey (no, seriously). I’ve been watching from afar, and I couldn’t stay away.

Current/Past RP Accounts | here, here, and here

In Character

Character | Bianca; Bernadette “Bunny” Dupont

What drew you to this character? | Well… originally, I wrote her. But since that sounds like a cop-out and I can never pass up the opportunity to wax poetic about one of my literary children, I’ll bite. ;)

She’s a piece of work. No, not that kind of work, not artwork—given her art forging expertise, that would be a cliché, and neither I nor Bunny are particularly fond of those. I mean that she’s single-handedly both the easiest and the most difficult character I’ve ever written and, I might argue, will ever write. Self-absorbed and yet oddly self-aware, vulgar in the delicate way only someone with a face like hers could be, and so tenderly cruel it’s endearing—she’s awful, but writing her has never been an inkling as heavy as writing equally diabolical characters has been in the past. She’s somehow able to be a light-hearted character in an environment where that sort of label tends to be reserved for characters like Maeve, all flower petals and naivete and ripe for the slaughter—without encompassing any of that. I don’t know, maybe it’s her youthful appearance, maybe it’s her love of candy and strawberries and her tendency to act so much like a child, or maybe it’s that careful balance between what she appears to be, what she’d like to be, and who she is, but she manages to check off some boxes that appear at first glance to be mutually exclusive. She lacks any concrete ambition outside of being revered, yet she possesses the potential to climb, to do some terrible things, because of that unfocused ambition. Her selfishness makes her a target for manipulation while being an avid manipulator herself. Her priorities are bottoms-up and she’s hardly got what most would call a good head on her shoulders, but damn if she isn’t a coquettish kind of cunning.

I thought I wouldn’t even know where to begin, but I’m having trouble finding where to end. The point is, I love this little brat.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | Where do you see this character developing, and what kind of actions would you have them take to get there? 3 future plot ideas would be preferable.

Piss off, Picasso: It’s only fitting, I suppose, that a little girl so proficient at mocking her sister (and her friends) behind her doting parents’ backs should grow up and learn to put that art of imitation to good, more mature use in the mob. She’s got it all going for her, really; wealthy upbringing, an eye for detail, and a shameless disregard for plucking coins from the purses of others to feed her own greed—what could go wrong? Plenty. And while I’d definitely like to explore the aftermath of what might happen if she got sloppy and was found out, she’s got her fair share of trouble on her plate right now with her—er, bad publicity. So first, I’d like to see her do well. I’d like to see her get overconfident, make connections, be successful. Once she’s finished throwing her little tantrum about my next plot idea, she’ll probably be inclined to hone her skills, sell a few more paintings to get out of the hole she stumbled into. After all, respect isn’t earned in Bunny’s world; it’s bought.

Paparazzi: It’s not what it looks like. Come on, he isn’t even that cute. Bunny’s moment of weakness, if it can be called that, presents obvious potential for her to either pull herself up by the bootstraps (imagine) or dig herself even farther. This might be the first time she’s gotten into any real trouble, especially the kind that Daddy Dupont couldn’t fix, and she’s not going to handle it well. But her knee-jerk reaction should make for good comedy and some even better plots. How far will she go to prove that she’s still just as loyal to the Capulets as she’s always been (which is to say, not particularly?)? What other mistakes can she make? It’s time to get her pretty little hands dirty, I think. She’s too proud to ask her sister for help, but all bets are off when it comes to Cyrus. Hell, maybe even her connection to Boris can come into play here (counterproductive, probably).

This Is What Makes Us Girls: The relationship Bunny has with Maeve and Juliana is one of my favorite parts about her, because it’s one of the best means for me to flesh out and play with all of the different sides of Bunny. They’re a pretty integral part to the image she keeps up—both that of a dignified daughter and a girl still steeped in candy-lacquered youth, and it’s for that reason that her secret dislike/jealousy of them both is so… telling? Bunny’s conceited, sure, but she is—at her core—insecure. And insecure people—insecure teenage girls, although she’s aged out of that territory—do pretty terrible things. I want to explore the dynamic within this friend group. I want to see her sabotage something important to Juliana. I want to see her have Maeve do her bidding, see her put her friends in harm’s way. Betrayal doesn’t always call for bloodshed; sometimes cutting deep doesn’t call for a knife.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Eh… as much as I’d love to give the usual “yes, give me all the angst,” I’m not really sure that Bunny is the type of character whose death will serve a purpose/further the plot, to be honest. Only the good die young, and she’s anything but.

If at any point the plot calls for it, we can talk about it, but I don’t foresee her developing in such a way that I’d suggest it.

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona? |

That’s a stupid question, she thinks, smoothing out the hem of her skirt and settling contentedly into the plush armchair, half-business and half-play. It’s a copout, almost—the daytime equivalent of asking someone’s favorite color in truth or dare. It’s a wasted turn, a missed opportunity. If she wanted to write love letters to the streets of Verona, she’d pick up the noble art of journaling.

In any case, the answer was most certainly a harrowing tie between her clawfoot bathtub and the half of her king-sized bed farthest from the window—but that sounded so infantile even she might’ve quirked an eyebrow at such a response. This, she realizes, is what it’s like to grow older: to make terrible small talk over lukewarm tea and lie in more dignified ways than she had in her youth.

(She’s twenty-one years, two months, and three days old. This is middle age. This is melodrama.)

“There’s a little candy shop a few blocks from the foot of the Castelvecchio. Their chocolate-covered strawberries are to die for.”

What does your typical day look like?

She likes this one—likes the way it sounds like a question straight out of the magazines she reads in her near-infinite free time, all gloss and understated glamour. In fact, she’s spent a perhaps embarrassing amount of time crafting responses to such a question in the event that she were ever asked, and although this isn’t exactly the avenue she’d had in mind, it’ll do.

Let it never be said that Bunny Dupont cannot compromise.

“I like to wake before the sun,” she lies elegantly, matter-of-factly, knowing damn well that just this morning she’d slumbered until noon but eager to portray the image of a young woman with her shit thoroughly together. The corners of her pink lips turn up in a smile, as if the very thought of a sunrise sways her to cliché thoughts of new beginnings and second chances, of the kinds of phrases befitting the tacky dollar-store decorations Maeve collects like an old man does stamps. How very carpe diem of her.

“I wash my face, have a cup of tea, and try to get a bit of reading done.” When she puts it that way, it sounds quite a bit more like a sophisticated heiress devouring novels in the early morning light than the slightly-less-respectable-but-nonetheless-true alternative of a troublemaker surveying last night’s damage, pastries piled with whipped cream within arm’s reach.

“I like to meet my friends for brunch. Juliana and I are regulars at The Phoenix and the Turtle,” she says delicately, deliberate with her inclusion of the Capulet girl’s name and her exclusion of any others. “I’ll paint a bit in the afternoons…” The little blonde trails off, green eyes darting about as if calling the remainder of her routine to mind. The truth is that she’s already grown bored, and perhaps that’s her own fault; it can get exhausting, pretending to be responsible, truly exhausting—but playing pretend is too fun. “And home for dinner, always.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

She twirls a strand of cotton-blonde hair around her finger, a coy display of sheepishness befitting a schoolgirl. What was her biggest mistake? The question demands a certain sort of humility, a level of introspection and honesty she’s never had the need to stoop to in all her years as the Dupont family darling, and if she were a tad less shameless it might even be a little—what’s the word?—unnerving. There was a reason she’d been dutiful enough to go to church on Sundays with her father but had avoided the confessional like her mother avoided carbs, and that reason had nothing to do—okay, fine, but only a little— to do with an aversion to being on her knees.

But she’s nothing if not an opportunist, a performer, and she treads the line between timid and cruel when she remarks, “I held a Montague boy’s hand once. Went home and went through two bars of soap.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

“Firing a gun,” Bunny admits, leaning in as if to let the intern in on a secret, “It’s harder than I expected. “Pulling the trigger, I mean. Takes a bit more pressure than they show you in the movies.” Leave it to her to turn such a grim discussion to something a bit less uncomfortable, a bit more palatable. Leave it to her to dodge the—well, difficult—questions. When have you failed? When have you struggled? How have you grown?

In two words: she hasn’t. (In another two: not yet.)

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

Lingering in the air like her favorite perfume was a rule oft-spoken and waiting to be broken: no politics, it’s simply not lady-like. Her father’s banks backed the Capulets, and where the money went, the Duponts surely followed. For all her selfishness and disdain for anything which drew the attention away from her and her needs, Bunny Dupont understood the necessity of these things—of petty grudges and not-so-petty crimes—for people like them. Wars, even wars like these, needed money: a lot of it.

“I don’t feel I know enough to say much about it,” she says carefully, the gleam in her green eyes looking more like a trick of the light and less like a clue. “I only wish there weren’t so much blood.”

Why? It left a nasty stain.

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here! This is OPTIONAL.

Headcanons:

When she was little, she wanted to be an actress or an only child: the former, she told her parents, and the latter, she told her sister.

Her hard liquor of choice is vodka, the flavored kind—the sweeter, the better. She’s mastered the art of taking shots of it with a straight face after many years of practice.

Strawberries are her favorite. Chocolate-covered, in champagne—you name it.

In high school, she got her kicks by scaring off boys who approached her to get a leg-up on wooing Juliana. So many potential suitors shot down, convinced that Cosimo would have them shipped off to some foreign land without their heads or their manhood.

Once, she promised Maeve she’d get her crush to ask her on a date. She was only half a virgin after that. He never called Maeve.

She’s a Gemini (May 30th).

[ilovedangos]

Cosplaying CLANNAD

CLANNADman

Okazaki is the average high school kind of guy that almost every anime has. He’s not going to be hard to portray unless you’re the weird minority who lives in a different world. To be like him all you need is:

spiky blue or dark hair (natural or dyed)

tan skintone (If you’re naturally pale you can choose to get a tan. All optional anyway!)

male Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

plain and casual clothes

a straight face (He's never seen without one except for few occasions.)

a low voice

realist attitude

street-smarts

casual, informal way of speech

teenage immaturity (Okazaki is the rebellious type who always breaks the rules.)

talk less (He isn’t a very talkative person.)

talking slowly (Okazaki is always calm and never talks fast.)

low energy level (He is always tired, laidback, and very relaxed.)

a sense of humor (He and Sunohara are never caught dead without one!)

Cockroach

Nagisa is a shy girl who is bad at making friends and later become’s Okazaki’s wife. She is going to be hard to cosplay because of her shyness, eccentricity, and often animated demeanor. If you’re not a shy or strange person, I suggest you carefully follow every single one of these tips to better understand how she acts:

short red or brown hair with antennae

amber contacts (because of her unnatural eye color but optional)

kawaii makeup (Nagisa doesn’t wear a lot of makeup so you can just go for an ulzzang look with faux lashes if you’re eyes aren’t big.)

peach skintone (Getting a tan or not is all optional.)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

girly, cute clothes with light colors that aren’t too stylish (Nagisa is a girly girl so besides her school uniform, she is seen wearing skirts or dresses.)

girly and childish high pitched voice (Again she is a girly girl and also very childish.)

always say “desu” at the end of your sentences (She’s one of those weirdos with fucking verbal tics!)

smile and talk a lot (Nagisa is a very bubbly and talkative girl who is never suffering in silence.)

talk fast (She is a very excitable and nervous person.)

blush all the time (She lacks composure.)

innocence (She always follows the rules.)

optimistic attitude (Nagisa sees the good in everything to a fault.)

very good manners (Nagisa is demure, always talks politely, and never swears.)

apologize and forgive (Nagisa always apologizes even if the other person wronged her.)

sensitivity and earnesty (Nagisa doesn’t have much sense of humor and acts on her feelings. Like her mom, she cries a lot or gets defensive when insulted.)

Dangos (She always talks about them nonstop; you can even sing the song all the time to be more like her.)

Fujibayashi twins

The twins are CLANNADman’s friends whom act as support for the Drama Club. They are just normal Japanese high school girls that are easy to portray if you live in Japan or have knowledge of Japanese culture. Since they’re opposite in personalities, you’ll have to be aware of how they each act.

Kyou is a bold and energetic girl who has been good friends with Okazaki since their junior year. She is the archetypal Tsundere, which means type A. To have her aggressive personality, you’ll need:

long purple hair (dyed or wig)

white lace hair ribbon (left side)

bold makeup (Kyou has piercing purple Tsurime eyes so you’d want to apply lots of eyeliner to look fierce like her. Then fill in your eyebrows to complete the look.)

fair skin (If you’re naturally tan I suggest you stay that way.)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

flashy, bright colored clothes

knee-high socks

audacity

high energy level

a bad temper

loud, rough voice (mezzo-soprano)

informal, tomboyish way of speech

talk at a faster speed (She’s very energetic and expressive.)

cooking skills (For a tomboy, Kyou is an excellent cook.)

athletism (Participate in as many sports you can in your school.)

work ethic

good sense of humor (She can use sarcasm but she doesn’t have the silly humor like CLANNADman or Sunohara.)

textbooks (to throw at idiots, especially when you see CLANNADman or Sunohara)

pet boar (optional)

sibling to protect (optional)

Kyou's twin is a timid girl who knew Okazaki through her sister and had a crush on him ever since. She doesn’t have as much of a personality nor presence like the other characters which makes it an advantage to easily cosplay her. All you need in order to be like this Dandere girl is:

Similar appearance as her twin except short hair and hairpiece (right side)

mild-mannered face (She has blue Tareme eyes.)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

light, dull makeup (Fujibayashi doesn’t stand out much so she won’t be wearing lots of makeup.)

light, casual clothes

soft-spoken, mezzo-soprano voice

cautiousness and hesitance (Unlike her twin, she is a girl who thinks before she speaks or acts.)

clumsiness

talk at a slower speed (She doesn’t talk very much.)

decent manners (Fujibayashi is a fairly polite girl in both speech and behavior, especially compared to her boisterous sister who always yells and acts brash.)

work ethic

sense of humor (She has a decent and average amount of humor, no problems understanding jokes or sarcasm.)

do anything for your true love (Fujibayashi can be bolder when in a serious situation that involves her love, Kappei. She risked telling him white lies and had the courage to have his baby if he didn’t want live.)

player cards (Her hobby is fortune telling.)

older sibling (optional)

Tomoyo

Tomoyo is a tough and cool girl who becomes good friends with Tomoya and Sunohara. She is the 'Strong-Silent-Type' who is very mature for her age; she’d be an example of a Kuudere. Tomoyo is a female version of Tomoya since she doesn’t have any noticeable quirks like many of the other characters and is the most sane compared to the other girls. She is a classic tomboy so to cosplay her you’ll need:

Rapunzel length messy silver hair and bangs (dyed or wig)

thick black headband

dark, dull makeup (Tomoyo is more quieter compared to many of the girls in both appearance and personality. You can apply smoky eyeliner then draw your eyebrows in a dark, deep color to give the serious look that she has.)

pale skintone (You can always remember to put sunscreen so you don’t get tan.)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with junior badge

athleisure style or streetwear

piercings (a few here and there)

stoic face

deep monotone

being talented (She is very strong and nobody, not even Kyou, can beat her in that. Eat healthy and exercise to be more fit, beautiful like her.)

intelligence (Tomoyo is a straight A student and has many opportunities ahead of her. To seem smarter, you can pick up a book or 2, study more, or watch the news.)

sense of responsibility (Tomoyo is diligent and hardworking.)

talk less (Tomoyo is a girl of few words; she speaks only when necessary.)

talk slowly (She is a sensible girl who doesn’t have time for nonsense such as Sunohara.)

casual but direct form of speech

confidence (why she’s known as the STRONG silent type of girl)

dark or dry sense of humor (Tomoyo is very snarky and sarcastic like CLANNADman.)

Kotomi

Kotomi is a taciturn and sluggish girl Tomoya reunites with as she is his childhood friend. She is the school’s genius and is seen always reading books in the library. Kotomi is the archetypal Dandere lacking in social skills and common sense which makes her seemingly strange. What you’ll need to cosplay this hot nerd is:

dark purple hair (dyed or wig, medium length)

horsetails tied with 2 large pink beads

pale skintone (not too pale)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

formal clothes (Kotomi is a nerd so she always dresses conservatively.)

emotionless face

low, quiet mezzo-soprano voice

talk less (Kotomi is a very taciturn and reticent person who is barely seen talking.)

talking at a very slow speed

good manners (Kotomi is a polite girl despite being a nerd with no social skills.)

low energy level

books (Her hobby is reading all day.)

violin (If you’re a violin player and want to have a deadly weapon, put pressure on the strings to make it sound higher and deafening.)

teddy bear (She loves bears.)

weak sense of humor (Kotomi isn’t one for humor and when she tries, it’s not supposed to be funny. Because she lacks social skills, she doesn’t know how to tell jokes.)

Fu-chan

Fuko is a childish girl who befriends Okazaki and Nagisa. She is actually a ghost whose real self is still in a coma. Fuko is a very loud and hyperactive girl who gets easily distracted. Since you have to be good enough to act as this silly girl, you’re going to need:

dark green hair (natural or wig, medium length, low ponytail tied in a big blue ribbon)

technicolor contacts (She has light unnatural colored eyes.)

bright, colorful kids makeup

tan skintone (optional)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with freshman badge

youthful, colorful clothes

loud, childish voice

very animated facial expressions and body language

talk at a very fast speed (Fuko is the most talkative character in the show and is never speechless.)

artistic interests

little to no manners (Fuko acts like a little girl and tends to come off rude at times)

wooden “starfish” sculpture

childlike sense of humor (Fuko tends to joke around with Tomoya and Sunohara, but her humor isn’t as mature as theirs.)

Sunohara

Sunohara is Okazaki’s best friend who is another fellow delinquent. He is the Boke of the duo and tends to make the stupidest, most immature jokes ever. Sunohara is very easy to portray because he is another average idiotic, immature teenage boy just like CLANNADman. All you’re gonna need is:

bleached hair (He is an archetypal Anime delinquent character.)

fair skin (If you’re naturally tan I suggest you stay that way.)

blue contacts (He is “baby-faced” so his light blue eyes emphasize that.)

male Hikarizaka school uniform with senior badge

sloppy and bright clothes

loud, excitable voice (He has a more higher voice than the darker, more serious CLANNADman.)

obnoxious facial expressions and body language

very rude, informal way of speech (Sunohara talks in an abrasive manner, lacking any sense of politeness.)

talk at a fast speed (Sunohara talks a lot, way more than the quiet Okazaki.)

low energy level (He is a very lazy and tired guy who is hard to motivate.)

waste time (He is known for being the dumbest character in the show.)

distract people for no reason (He always provokes others for stupid reasons.)

cause trouble all the time

irresponsibility (Sunohara is a coward who puts the blame on others for his own mistakes.)

think you’re all that when you’re not (Sunohara has a huge ego even though he is still thought as a loser.)

silly, dirty sense of humor (Sunohara is very insensitive and makes offensive jokes which gets him beaten up a lot.)

Miyazawa

Yukine is a nice, quiet girl Tomoya meets in the back of the school library. She helps him and anyone who visits her, always serving them tea and casting spells. She is the girliest but most wisest, mature of the characters, so to be like her you’ll need:

straight light brown hair with ahoge (natural or dyed, medium-length)

sleepy eyes

full-face or light makeup (Yukine is a mature, feminine character so she’ll have to look pretty and refined. You can start off with contouring your face, applying foundation, etc. Then lightly apply eyeliner and draw in eyebrows. Apply light eyeshadow, mascara, blush, and lipgloss as well.)

pale skintone (not too pale)

female Hikarizaka school uniform with junior badge

lowkey, feminine wardrobe (Yukine is a motherly figure who wears sophisticated clothes.)

a warm, welcoming smile

quiet, reserved voice (Yukine never raises her voice unless something serious happens.)

low energy level

talk at a slow speed (Never talk too fast as that’s the opposite of calm which Yukine is.)

great manners (Yukine is always polite and considerate to others.)

cooking skills (She’s very feminine so she’s obviously going to be good in the kitchen.)

magic spells book (She likes books people don’t read very much, that get left without being touched.)

tea set (She always makes and gives tea when she sees someone.)

[helplesslyfictional]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel), Odin (Marvel), Frigga (Marvel) Additional Tags: References to Norse Religion & Lore, Prophecy, Siblings, Pre-Canon, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Infinity Gems, Time Travel, Swearing Series: Part 1 of Children of Time Summary:

(Pre-Thor: From Asgard to Earth 2011)

Most people don't believe in the old Asgardian prophecies, even that of Ragnarok. However, such nonsense refuses to go unnoticed as the Universe begins to entwine Odin's children into greater events. Who are the Children of Time, and why are they important in the days to come? How can the past help shape the future? Most importantly, are King Odin and Queen Frigga ever going to tell the truth?

.....

Oh gods, here we go. I’m actually doing it. Writing my first fanfic of ten years to the Loki lovin’ fanbase. *hyperventilating from anxiety* Here we go....

Remember the old ways, young ones.

I am the Volva, the Seer, the Speaker of Truths, the Teller of Tales, and the Giver of Prophecies. I see Past, Present, and Future, and truths that only my sisters know.

Without the past, how can one learn for the future? Without prophecy, how will we hope? Without guides, we cry out into the universe, looking for a sign without the burning truths of the Volva to speak for it.

Though the Volvas are diminished, we are not gone. And we will not be forgotten. It is as the Universe wills it.

The threads of fate align, young ones. Pay heed and listen.

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There are some days when it feels like nothing can go wrong, full of joyful bliss as everything clicks together perfectly, tumbling through perfect execution as if it had been perfectly planned.

This was not one of those days.

Loki had woken up late for the morning hunt, rushing to the stables without breakfast to try and catch up with his brother. Thor liked to ride forward without him anyways, leaving him trying to catch up like a child, as he did when racing against Thor on foot. Usually he was able to catch up quickly, however, with a late start, he reached the party only moments before they took down their prey. Thor had laughed, Fandral joining with him, Lady Sif shook her head, and Lord Forseti, who usually accompanied the hunting parties, sighed loudly. Hurt, Loki sullenly rode behind them as they laughed and chattered about inane things.

Things continued to feel….off. The Council meeting, which circled around lunch, was unusually strident, with members nearly coming to blows over trivial items, such as the menu for next week’s luncheon. Their voices seemed almost muffled, as Loki couldn’t seem to focus properly. Faces, voices, and actions around the table seemed almost as distant as a dream. As Loki tried to bring forward his attention, the only person he could truly discern was the immovable, almost statuesque form of his father.

As much as he tried to scrutinize Odin’s face, he could never truly tell what his father was thinking. He’d attempted many times, particularly to anticipate his moods, but was continually surprised at what would break from his father’s stoic demeanor.

Shaking his head, as if to ward off exhaustion, Loki returned to his chambers. He tapped his fingers on his leg as he tried to think of what he could do to stave off this...oddness. Read? Ugh, no, too boring. Go spar? Even though it might wake him up, it might not be a good idea if he was feeling off.

Loki’s mind began to drift as he began noticing strange details about his chambers: the sharp edges of a desk, the texture of cushions, the gold filigree…

His reverie was sharply interrupted by harsh banging on his door. As he suspected, when he popped it open, he was greeted by the smiling face of his brother.

“Good afternoon!” Thor’s voice was chipper as he pushed against the door.

Loki tried hard to keep it barely open. “What...is it...brother?”

“What are you doing?” asked Thor.

Oh, no. Thor was bored.

Loki strained, but had to let go of the door, which slammed open. Thor stumbled a bit, then caught himself, laughing.

Loki shook his head, not able to ward off a little grin. “Really, nothing. I’ve been feeling...strange all day.”

Thor snorted. “You were just a little late this morning! I had to reassure Lord Forseti that you’d be along.” He sauntered over to a side table, selecting a plum and biting vigorously into it. Loki tried to hide the annoyance - Loki loved plums, and Thor tended to eat his before they were ripe.

“Oh, he actually cared if I came?” Loki said wryly.

This seemed to take Thor off-guard. “Well, yes.”

That off-feeling suddenly began to feel worse. It felt as though Asgard itself were tilting sideways - even Thor seemed to tumble with it, as Loki felt like he went flying out the window, beyond the bay, into the void itself. It sounded as though the universe was screaming wordlessly, as though a cry rang through his very soul. It seemed like there was an infinite amount of time between every heartbeat, until the cold spell of entropy seemed to overtake him.

As his senses returned, he slowly ran his hand over the cool, familiar tile. His brother gave a groan, and Loki opened his eyes to see Thor also picking himself up off the floor. His plum was, oddly, on the other side of the room.

Loki tried to get his attention. “Brother?”

Thor shook his head, then focused on Loki. “What was that, an attack?” His voice was tense.

“You felt it too?” Loki asked, puzzled, and began getting up. He slipped, however, as his hand was in something wet. Holding it up, he saw it was black with ink.

Ink was streaked across the floor, leading to a piece of paper. Thor ran over, rescuing it before more ink could soak into it.

Loki joined him, holding out his hand so as not to get ink on his clothes. “What is it?” he asked.

Thor shook his head. “It’s barely legible.”

Loki took the paper. It was his own handwriting, large and extraordinarily sloppy, as though written with great haste.

“Remember the old ways, Children of Time.”

That was all. Loki shook his head. “I don’t remember writing this.”

“Is it your handwriting?” asked Thor, staring at the splash of ink on the floor.

“Yes. But did you...did you feel…like the universe was…” Loki struggled to put his experience into words. They didn’t do it justice, and he couldn’t truly describe the feeling. Perhaps he could later, with a little introspection.

Thor glanced at him with almost a keen look in his eye. “Like the universe was saying something.”

Loki relaxed. “Yes. Like you were falling out of Asgard.”

Nodding, Thor went over to the balcony, looking out over the city. “I think if Asgard had taken a hit there’d be more pandemonium.” He paused. “I wonder what old ways that paper means.”

Loki tried to focus on the feeling he’d been having, but it was gone - replaced instead by a deep dread. “Thor?”

His brother looked back at him. “Yes?”

“Were you feeling strange earlier this morning?”

Thor shrugged. “A little, but I wasn’t worried about it.”

Then why didn’t you say anything, Loki retorted mentally and shook his head, annoyed, laying out the paper on his desk to dry.

“What do you think it means?” he asked tentatively.

Thor looked at him sharply. “I thought you might know better, and…” He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “...if this is a trick, it’s a very bad one.”

Loki couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Trust me, if it was me, it’d have been more entertaining.” He paused, thinking. “I don’t know what this means. If I wrote this…it must’ve been important.” Looking back at his brother, he returned to that fear that had begun to take hold in his gut. “Do you have a - a distressing feeling now?”

Thor tried to smile, but he looked distressed. “Yes. It’s like...something is going to happen. Something big.” He looked away briefly. “Loki…I don’t know what happened, but…”

When one is a sibling, there can be many messages easily inferred through body language and tone. This was what Thor was saying: “I don’t know what this is, but we can’t tell other people about it, I don’t want Mother to worry or Father to find out because that makes me sound vulnerable and I’m the crown prince.” Well, at least, that’s what Loki inferred.

“Don’t worry,” Loki said. “But I’d like to at least ask Mother about this ‘Children of Time’ phrase; I can work it in without mentioning what happened.”

Thor nodded. “Let me know what you find out.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’ve never heard of it,” said Queen Frigga firmly.

Loki frowned. Mother was familiar with a fair amount of history and magical lore - generally his primary source for this type of information. “The phrase isn’t even...familiar? Perhaps it’s a fragment…”

“No, it’s not familiar, Loki,” Frigga said, her voice taking on an authoritative tone. “Where did you hear it?”

“Just out in public,” Loki said, the lie slipping easily off his lips.

Frigga frowned. “Well, think nothing of it,” she said before leaving abruptly.

Loki blinked, trying to make sense of the short conversation as he turned to go find his brother. Thor was in his usual spot - the sparring courtyard - for the evening. Usually Thor would continue despite noticing his brother, but with the events of the day before, Thor stopped, motioning for Fandral to practice without him.

“Anything?” Thor asked, folding his sweaty arms.

“No, but…” Loki hesitated. “Mother was rather adamant about her ignorance.”

Thor squinted. “What made you notice?”

Loki shook his head. “It was like she didn’t want to speak about it.”

“You think she knows about it, then?”

“Perhaps. If she does, she doesn’t want to talk about it, so…”

Thor pursed his lips, frowning. “We’ll need to find out on our own, then.”

Loki sighed. “I’m afraid so.” Thor looked at Loki hard, and Loki knew exactly what it meant. “And I’ll go find out.”

Thor broke out in a grin. “Thanks, brother,” he said, patting Loki’s arm.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As advanced as Asgard was, the digitization of paper records was still an ongoing process, given the glut of paper records kept over thousands of years by fastidious Asgardians. Although their databases were extensive, Loki found his phrase frustratingly elusive. After a few days of frustrating research, Loki realized with a sinking feeling that he was going to have to make a trip down to the Archives.

While the palace had its own library of particularly rare and spectacular books, the Archives were the place with the most comprehensive collection of Asgardian works. While Loki loved to find secrets and arcane bits of lore, they tended to be found in more interesting private collections. He had found the Archives to be a rather dull place with dusty old librarians.

Still, they might be able to help him find what he was looking for.

The Archives were in a large circular building, with pillars supporting a tall roof and tiers of shelves, highlighting the jewel-colored bindings of their denizens. Loki couldn’t help but crane his neck like a child, taking in the sheer size of the building.

“Prince Loki!”

Loki snapped back to reality to focus on the older archivist in front of him.

The white-haired woman smiled at him. “It’s an honor to see you here. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Ah...yes,” Loki said, straightening. A prince does not show his uncertainty. “I’m looking for the origin of a specific phrase…” Subconsciously, he still hesitated before saying it, as though it were a secret. His mother’s reaction flitted briefly through his mind.

“What phrase would that be, your highness?”

“Ah - ‘Children of Time.’”

The archivist considered this, giving no strong reaction. Probably a good thing. “I’m not familiar with the phrase, but I can ask some of my colleagues. Perhaps they can point you in the right direction.” The woman disappeared down a corridor, with a fair amount of time passing before she returned. “Only one of them had a vague recollection of the phrase. They believe it’s from a prophecy.”

“Oh,” Loki said guardedly. That was not a good sign. Prophecies tended, more often than not, to be wrong, full of nonsense, and were so vague they could be interpreted for any situation. “No further idea of where to look?”

“I’m afraid not,” the archivist replied with a sympathizing look. “I can show you where the prophecies are and I have some ideas of where to start.”

As he expected, the section devoted to prophecies was quite large. The archivist suggested the prophecies of Voluspa to begin, noting that her prophecy of Ragnarok was the most well-known amongst Asgardians. With that, Loki was left to begin researching on his own.

It certainly wasn’t going to be an easy task. The prophecies were written in an older form of Asgardian which was just archaic enough to be a headache to read. Loki set about skimming the pages to find the phrase.

It didn’t just take days, the search was taking weeks. Loki’s absence from the palace had been noticed, and it didn’t take long before Loki heard the familiar sound of his mother’s footsteps while he was shoulder-deep in books.

He spun an illusion quickly to disguise the books at hand, with barely enough time to look natural as his mother rounded the corner. “There you are!” she said, almost exasperated. “Loki, you’ve been missing council meetings, and…”

“Yes,” he said, trying to catch her off-guard. “I’ve just been researching some things for a policy proposal.”

Frigga hesitated. “You’re considering a proposal? That’s the first time you’ve even mentioned the idea.”

Loki nodded. “I’d...I’d tell you about it, but I’m researching some history before I put my thoughts together.” Hopefully that would adequately explain his extensive absence.

She nodded, glancing at the books, then looking around at the surrounding bookshelves. “I do hope that you’re not looking at any of these prophecies for historical guidance,” she said absent-mindedly. “They tend to be wrong and full of nonsense than anything else!”

“As you’ve told me multiple times, Mother,” Loki said with a nod and a smile.

Frigga came over and squeezed his arm gently. “I’m glad you’re getting more interested in affairs running the Nine Realms,” she said softly. “Your father will notice.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, his heart hurting just a little. He didn’t truly wish to lie about this, especially to Frigga. Perhaps...perhaps he should actually consider doing a proposal. Although, the risks of it being rejected or dismissed by his father were fairly high. Loki winced at even the idea of being humiliated so in front of the council.

Probably not a great idea. It’d be easier simply to say he’d changed his mind. As he’d learned, it was often easier to conjure a failure rather than tell the truth. Perhaps it was considered a weakness in Asgardian society, but it furthered his ends nonetheless.

With his mother sufficiently appeased, Loki was left to continue without interruption. As the days went on, he began to consider giving up. Thor seemed to have dismissed the strange incident they’d shared, not bringing it up again, even in confidence. Loki no longer had that strange feeling, simply the lingering, constant feeling of dread. He began shortening his visits to the Archives so that he could begin a more consistent schedule.

It was nothing short of a miracle, then, that in his truncated research sessions, Loki finally happened upon what he was looking for.

[itsmorefuntohavebadtaste]

Braving the RS 500 Greatest Albums of All Time: #448, The Police - Synchronicity

(Start date: April 19th, 2018 / Day 67)

From Rolling Stone:

"I do my best work when I'm in pain and turmoil," Sting told Rolling Stone. And indeed, the dissolution of his first marriage produced some of his best work yet, including "King of Pain" and the stalker's anthem "Every Breath You Take." There was pain and turmoil in the band, too – it would be the Police's last album.

This is another one I’ve heard previously, and I’ve joked in the past that it’s the album that I probably have the most mixed feelings about, out of anything I’ve ever listened to. Revisiting it didn’t really change my base opinion of it, so I’m just going to dive right into the specificities of those mixed feelings.

So, this is very experimental, and very over-produced at times. The dinosaur imagery in “Walking in Your Footsteps” is just plain weird and I have a hard time finishing “Mother” and “Miss Gradenko” without skipping through them after half a minute or so. I looked into it briefly, and the latter two were the only tracks written exclusively by Summers and Copeland, respectively. It’s no secret that The Police has always been a vehicle for Sting’s artistic intent, primarily, but it’s very obvious here.

The album doesn’t truly begin until the sixth track––Synchronicity II. Most of the radio hits are on what would have been the second side of the LP, which is funny, since most vinyl tends to have least one single on side one. The sequencing is weird. The second half mellows out and becomes a lot more mature, cogent, and structured. The lyrics here seem to be the most affected by Sting’s crumbling marriage.

“Every Breath You Take” is easily the high point of the album, and never really registered to me as dark as it was likely intended to be. People jokingly call it a stalker anthem, which is fair I guess, but that’s only if you take the lyrics completely literally. I always interpreted it to mean someone pining after an old lover and replaying moments over and over in their head. Sting’s comments about the song have dismissed that, which I always thought was strange, because regardless, it’s still a very well-crafted ballad that almost has you relating to the narrator, so much so that a nontrivial amount of people have used it as their wedding song. Something here connects. I still think it’s romantic, but I’m sure I’m a sociopath.

Year: 1983 Standout Track(s): Synchronicity II, Every Breath You Take, King of Pain, Wrapped Around Your Finger Rating: 3/5 - It would have been a strong album had it not been undercut by its sloppy and unfocused first half.

[turtle-in-the-mums]

(Lingo the Genie--More Plot Silliness)

miniconrightsactivist replied to your photoset: miniconrightsactivist: Rough sketches are...

*chinhands* Feel free to go on. I like where this is going

(Let there be more rambling, then!)

Part of Lingo’s attitude problem may stem from the circumstances of her birth. In short, she was an accident, and her creator told her so repeatedly, making it clear she was unwanted. Maybe she was the result of a shard of magic getting loose at the wrong time in a spell, so that what should have been an imposing thirty-foot Terror Soldier instead came out as the giant Terrified Soldier, since all the Fighting Attitude elixir either spilled onto the dog or puddled in the Teaspoon of Mightiness (Sharper Imagicians, 5 imp-coins plus two lucky pennies shipping and handling) that was still activated (sloppy magic lab discipline doesn’t only cause explosions and invisible self-propelled furniture, kids!), mixing with the Fairy Honey (you thought those were just sparkly bumblebees, didn’t you?) and producing a palm-sized magical being with too much Attitude wrapped in the transmogrified stuff of a perfectly good Teaspoon of Mightiness with the tendency to waywardness of a Honey Fairy who’s gotten into the Enchanted Ingredients Rack of Bottomless Jars (a total fraud, never believe a traveling saleswitch with an electric-pink talking hairbrush as a familiar and only takes cash) and helped herself to the powdered unicorn horn (also a fraud if it costs under 125 moon shillings an ounce, it’s just powdered hoof trimmings mixed with enough sugar to make the smoke smell right).

So the ambitious (but sloppy and perennially broke) magician not only didn’t get the cushy Court Magician job, he was also chased out of the kingdom by villagers who were just a bit put out about having their homes and a fair amount of the surrounding countryside splintered to kindling by a scared 30-foot not-soldier made of what used to be boulders very useful for giving directions to the wandering Heroes who seem to wander through every spring, probably on some mysterious mating migration, given how many of them seem to end up finding True Love, at least in the paperback versions of their legends. (Which are probably more than a little fanciful, since they tend to be written by authors who never met the Heroes in question and are thus legally and magically bound to begin their tales with “Once upon a time” so no one makes the mistake of shelving the books in the History section.) If the magician had gotten his No-Harm-No-Foul spell right, the villagers might have forgiven him--one does have to expect some disruptions now and then if one wants to have a magician handy to predict the weather and keep the populations of amphibians and pest fairies under control--but he was so rattled by the pitchforks and torches and muttering about needing new landmarks--possibly made of magician parts--that he muffed it and turned it into a “No Farm No Fowl” spell instead, which caused all the local vegetation to age in reverse right back to the seed and turned the chickens into chicken-shaped topiary.

Out of desperation, the magician grabbed Lingo and waved her around yelling that she was a tiny-but-potent Familiar of Fixing Everything. When she failed to live up to this billing, and instead grabbed the magician’s hair (tearing the worn-out but still-sparkly Ribbon of Mother Loves You his mother had given him the day he started his apprenticeship), she became a something-non-grata. So he tried to get rid of her. Problem is, Lingo is all but impossible to destroy--Teaspoons of Mightiness ARE guaranteed to last for an entire enchanted lifetime of daily use, with testimonials by several known users of the Elixir of Life right there are on the catalog page)--and she can’t be driven away or thrown away. She has to be given away, and furthermore, the recipient has to willingly take her. This can be a problem, because anyone who’s spent much time around Lingo’s spiky temper and misfire-prone powers is likely to pay not to have to take her. Solution--enchanted sleep. If she’s left somewhere cold and lonely for a while, Lingo falls asleep and takes on the shape of an interestingly-colored egg. She can then be given away without the victim--recipient, I mean recipient!--having any idea of what he or she is in for.

Trying to crack the Lingo-egg open--pressed between the palms or just rapped on the edge of a frying pan in the hopes of a nice breakfast--wakes her up. So does leaving her too close to a fire or other hot object--heat recharges her and keeps her active. She therefore likes to snuggle into the warmest spot available--which is often somewhere her current owner would rather she not be. As in a tiny cold metal body wiggling in your bedroll in the middle of the night and complaining about the rumbling of your stomach almost drowning out your snoring.

Cantankerous and exasperating as she can be, Lingo does come in handy sometimes. She can do a number of little spells, and if one is smart and imaginative a little spell here and there is really all that’s necessary. Big, showy magic can lead to all kinds of unforeseen consequences, after all. She’s entertaining, once one gets used to the caustic nature of her commentary, and she’s little and doesn’t need feeding. She’s good company on the long and lonely tramps between the exciting parts of a Quest, and she’s got enough gumption to pep-talk anyone who’s having a Flagging Spirits moment. She’s also got the sass to talk a bona fide Pirate Captain into ferrying one’s mismatched band of Adventurers to places like the Island of Paranoid Dragons or the Keys to the Gates of No Return.

None of her previous owners has kept her around and active long enough to really appreciate Lingo, though, and she tends to be conveniently forgotten when telling stories to Hero Legend writers “no, no, all I had to help me was this little magic Compass of Finding True Love”, so she’s an unknown among magical beings, and when she HAS met others created by magicians, their stories have inevitably been more awesome (or at least intentional) than hers. That doesn’t help when one already has well over a teaspoon of emotional baggage.

(If any of that makes any sort of sense, you’ve almost certainly stayed up too late or been into the cheap powdered unicorn horn yourself.)

[elizabethrobertajones]

I really felt the ending montage of 12.11 was unnecessary. With the song, it did make sense in regards to the episode but still felt out of place to me. The song gave me a lot of Jensen feels however (he's spoken at cons about pretending to be a cowboy as a kid). Idk, i just kinda wish Dean had kept those memories/feelings he had while under the spell. It would have been interesting to see him try to grow as a character knowing he had (unconsciously) put "performing dean" away for a bit. 1/2

2/2 It was like they introduced a new facet to the character, with so much more to explore but then ripped it away very quickly (similar to Demon Dean). I identify very much with Dean and his “performing” and would have like to see him struggle to reconcile his facade with his true self, knowing Sam has seen it.

I feel like there’s room for interpretation that Dean does remember it, at least until Rowena stuff happens again and forces and answer - for one thing because the “who’s this hippie” moment played off a deeper Dean and Rowena bond, and also because she unloaded a fair amount onto him and Dean keeping her secrets along with his own is interesting to me - 

- that said there is a fair amount about this episode that feels really deep and multi-faceted but for me juuust toes the line of sloppy writing. I’m not that judgy - if you’ve seen my Dabb vs cars tag’s origins you know I have a fondness as wide as the ocean for Dabb and his (previously?) godawful continuity, or I’ve waxed lyrical about Edlund making shit up that digs giant plotholes (Robbie too, on occasion). 

I like this episode a lot better than 12x05 but I do think this episode had a lot of quibbles about plot and characterisation. Agreeing on a timeline/logical explanation for the events at the bar/leading up to Dean going to the bar seems far too hard. He both went there to blow off steam after they decided it wasn’t witches, and just happened to be packing witch-killing bullets (not their usual ammo) and stumbled on (tracked?) the witch at the bar. With 2 versions of events, at least, and the episode playing with both being factual it’s such a headache I wish they’d instead of doing the montage, put a disclaimer like in Yellow Fever or Slash Fiction that it was Jensen goofing around on the bull and not really a part of the episode. Since it was presented AS part of the episode, we have 2 seemingly contradictory narratives in it, before we even get to “Does Dean remember everything AFTER he was hexed as well?”

If he does, then it’s right back to performing Dean. I was JUST writing a long addition to an old post of mine covering a lot of this ground so you’re kind of serendipitous but also maybe I should finish writing it and post it :P I was just musing on how the take away from Sam and Dean about Dean’s adventure was “I can’t believe you rode Larry” and Dean gloating about he was like a god… Obviously he did that BEFORE he was cursed and if Sam was going to mock him for something he revealed during the curse it would be like, “I can’t believe you’ve watched Finding Nemo” and Dean snapping back that of course he has and he went to see Finding Dory too, which WOULD be bringing something out from behind the barriers of performing Dean. Of course using Larry means that Dean does remember it because if his memories are restored then even if he doesn’t have everything between curse and cure, the last thing he did was the bar, so that’s been definitely restored to him.

It’s still interesting because he was doing something in Sam’s eyes very un-Dean like, and owning to it, and his reaction during the return to the bar on finding out he did it had a fair amount of interest for analysing it because of how without his barriers he was just proud of himself for riding it and interested to know if he was good, so in a way he’s *sort* of bringing something out from behind the barriers, but it still doesn’t really commit, does it?

The post I’m working on I referred back to this ask from before the episode:

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/157016005768/i-cant-wait-for-dean-to-enter-the-amnesia-phase

where I was talking as an aside about how stuff could be revealed to Sam and challenge his perception of performing Dean, and I was reflecting on how well it did that… Obviously it showed Sam a lot of stuff, but the follow up was short, and Dean has a free chance to willingly pretend he’s forgotten everything, and to put the barriers back up, and so his actions during that time are now walled off, and we had no serious reflection on it all. Whether Sam looks at Dean differently is going to be up to us to reflect on in other episodes to come but I’m assuming we’ve pretty much missed the window for a discussion directly in relation to events of this episode, though as I said, when Rowena returns there’s always a chance if she and Dean have any obvious signs of sharing this secret again, it confirms my take on it that he remembers and she might know but was warning him from talking in front of Sam about HER life and simultaneously thanking Dean for doing that by backing up in front of Sam that he doesn’t remember to save Dean discussing it with him… 

I guess either way Dean knows that Sam saw him vulnerable, and while the Larry thing sort of shows he’s maybe coming out of his shell a bit (compare that to 11x15 and how he had a ton of fun ALONE in the wrestling ring but immediately became a clumsy socially anxious mess when someone walked in on him doing it) and gives us an idea that Dean is embracing some parts of himself, as you say we didn’t get anything to work with on Sam’s reaction in the aftermath to dealing with a vulnerable Dean. Like with 10x12 he focused on the immediate victory and whether Dean would have preferred to stay that way or not, and not really looking at his perception of Dean? 10x12 ended with the Taylor Swift thing where Sam CLEARLY hadn’t learned much about Dean, and again Dean was sort of embracing the change and letting go some aspects of performed Dean, but Sam didn’t handle it very well, and I think the good growth has to happen when they’re on the same page. 

Anyway. Character stuff in MotW tends to stretch further than it seems, so I’d be interested to see how Sam treats Dean for a while after this and how Dean behaves around him… Things like a lack of performed!Dean moments might be hard to spot if they’re not neon signposted as Dean doing something different, but in season 10 they WERE for multiple episodes all in a row in the middle of the season… Which didn’t get us very far in the end, but it would be interesting to see what happens here, and if they stick to the development. I don’t think any episodes are randomly picked and they have strong links to each other and emotional subplots that run all the way through, and I’ve been really enjoying picking them out and following them this season (the subtextual Sam and Mary angst for like… 5 episodes in a row was killing me at the start of the season, but it was only openly brought up in one short conversation and the rest you had to deduce they were/still are I assume tying themselves up in knots about it.)

Meh, I liked 12x11 but I agree the end didn’t stick through very well on the emotional stuff. On the other hand this is now like the dark version of a post I’m about to go back to work on for a few final thoughts which celebrate a lot of the stuff I really liked about this exact thing so I guess I’m releasing the B-side of that meta first with this which is probably a bad idea because I am the holder of many contradictory opinions on everything and I normally try to buffer with the positive ones first >.> 

[frcstwclf-moved]

by popular demand (aka @warricrbcrn suggested it and i told her to) i’m going to answer all of these questions. answers under the cut.

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally answered

aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural he has respect for the spirits of his ancestors, obviously, but that’s really it

agate: how my muse calms down answered

blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.) verbal communication is really the only way he communicates (he rarely writes letters and doesn’t have much experience with sign or anything else) so i guess that.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly he’s a big brave boi. he’s not stupidly brave, but still incredibly so. he isn’t fearless either, but he’ll jump into a fight no problem if need be.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself answered

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest answered

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into ... a wolf.

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is considering all of the events in his life, unlucky. not that he believes in luck, but anyway.

angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues not really something he has experience with. i don’t know that LGBT+ issues were really a thing for orcs of his time; they existed, i’m sure, but considering the way that a lot of orc culture works and how intolerable a lot of it is in general, gay, trans, and other orcs of similar identities and sexualities were probably closeted and thus Durotan probably has no idea about any of it. that’s not to say he wouldn’t support them; he feels everyone has the right to a happy life. everyone. (willing to make a longer post on this later)

apache tears: a sadness headcanon he just vanishes and stops talking when he’s sad. he’ll just sit there. you have to make sure he even survives to the point where he’ll break into emotion again, be it negative or positive, because he’ll just sit in the same spot and stare at the ground for fucking hours.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition it’s saved his life so many times, its ridiculous. his gut-feeling is his best friend, but it seems to clash a lot with his reasoning, especially around Gul’dan’s time of power.

apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs what religion would you call the orcs? they worship their ancestors, it’s not like there’s any god at play there.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed his home. sitting around their big communal fireplace in the center of their village with his family.

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with being dead. lol

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large Durotan just feels like he’s another orc chieftain doing his job. he doesn’t understand why so many people think he’s so special, outside of standing up to Gul’dan.

calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.) he likes people, but anymore than the orcs in his clan and he feels a little overwhelmed. he really only had one good friend that he talks to consistently, and that’s Orgrim, but as far as chieftain-y things his social skills are decent. he’ll tread water until he physically can’t handle it anymore, which is incredibly rare.

carnelian: an art-related headcanon Durotan actually has some artistic talent. he can kinda sketch landscapes and people, if he tries.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety not healthily, lmao. he bottles it up until it explodes into one giant mass of anxiety, which means he’ll go sulk for a few hours if possible. if it isn’t, he gets REALLY irritable REALLY quickly.

chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been the morning he discovered Ga’nar’s body, the morning after Garad had died and Durotan had been named chieftain. the grief, the anxiety, and the overall reality of it overwhelmed him until he was physically trembling. he spent that night weeping in his mother’s arms.

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships it’s hard for him to do, but if there comes a point where he has to cut ties with someone, he’ll drop’em like they aint shit. no questions asked.

charoite: who my muse looks up to answered

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon he doesn’t have any, lol.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older he’d be an awesome, wise old chieftain tbh. he’d know alllllll the Frostwolf secrets to teach the kiddos. he’d be heavily grieved by the clan, had he died of old age.

coral: how my muse views the natural world it’s incredibly precious to him. watching Draenor die was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.

diamond: a sex headcanon [ SWEATS ]

dolomite: a sleep headcanon Durotan is a light sleeper, and he either lays on his side or his back. he is often kept up at night by bouts of night terrors and general insomnia, so he’ll stare at the ceiling of the tent until it’s early enough for him to leave and roam around camp without being questioned

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words touches and gestures. arm around your shoulders, a hug, a pat on the arm, that thing people do where they rest their hand on your lower back, hand on your shoulder... the works.

fluorite: what my muse's room looks like it’s relatively neat, i imagine Draka kicks any mess in their tent back into shape. having two sloppy older brothers kinda made him wanna be organized considering there was a time where all five of them lived in a tent together and, from personal experience, sharing sleeping spaces with your siblings fucking sucks

fossil: what my muse's dream job is he really doesn’t have any quarrel with being chieftain. he doesnt know what else he’d do, honestly.

galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse lots of playful bickering and play fighting, but he also will show regularly how sincerely and how much he cares, whether in words or gestures is up to him.

garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be DRAKA.

gold: my muse's financial situation i don’t know how financially dependent Frostwolves are. pretty sure they just hunt, make, or gather everything they need. he’s doing fine.

hematite: how squeamish my muse is he’s witnessed graphic cannibalism, stabbed a numerous amount of people and gutted and/or beheaded just as many, and has literally bathed his entire face in blood. he doesn’t care. the only thing that’s ever succeeded in making him puke that wasn’t caused by sickness was the combined stench of several hundred decaying bodies, sweaty gross B.O. bodies, and piss and fecal matter when he already felt incredibly put off by his situation. and he puked ONCE.

hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has jesus, he’s such a man-child. he’d be wrestling in the mud with Orgrim well into his 40′s, knowing him.

iolite: my muse's drinking habits Durotan doesnt drink often but when he does he gets fucked UP. waiting for the day he wakes up in bed next to Blackhand or something tbh.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner NEVER. hes loyal as fuck. plus Draka would flog him

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent the dad who tries to be cool and hip and relatable w his kid bc he loves him but just embarrasses Go’el

kyanite: an anger headcanon he screams into Stormfang’s pelt, sometimes. as if killing the poor fucking thing wasn’t enough.

lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse anywhere that his family is. they are his home as much as Frostfire is.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse all kinds of people, honestly. he’s a charismatic and fair leader that’s well-loved by his clan, people like that.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up he thought that he and Orgrim would be the clan’s mightiest hunters. he hadn’t a care in the world about being chieftain.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait he thinks he doesn’t have a good enough hold on his temper. he’s constantly afraid of snapping and killing someone without meaning to.

moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space he thinks the idea of it is cool as shit, even if all he’s ever seen are the moon and stars from the ground. he thinks it’s beautiful.

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down he’s always tried to bring them up, and he usually succeeds. Durotan has never been a pessimist, and he’s always been able to inspire and invigorate the Frostwolves at their lowest points.

nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is very sharp and keen. he can remember things that were said or happened years ago like it was yesterday.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be probably wrath or pride. Durotan’s temper and lack of self control when upset has always been one of his greatest downfalls, and the Frostwolves are kinda known for being incredibly proud of their heritage and who they are. i feel like he’s a closer match to wrath, just because he’s a bit more humble than, say, Garad.

opal: how creative my muse is he’s moderately creative. he’s not really an artist or a creator, but he enjoys and appreciates creativity and the arts and would rather delight in others’ ideas instead of wrack his brain for his own.

pearl: a mental health headcanon anxiety and stress are eating away at his psyche 3/4 of the time, but he’ll be damned before he admits that to anyone. his PTSD gives him a lot of hell, too. he’ll wake up in a cold sweat right out of a nightmare about his father or one of his brothers or Stormfang, and he’s even had ones concerning that whole cannibalism Nokrar situatuon, but instead it’s the whole clan lying there gutted and eaten, wolves and all. he doesn’t really have flashbacks, unless something REALLY fucked up is going on and it somehow pertains to one of those things. he feels neverending guilt about his entire life in general and not having been able to do more for the people he’s lost. it’s not healthy, at all, and occasionally he’ll open up about it to someone he trusts. usually doesn’t happen all that often, though.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street ”WHO’S WALLET IS THIS”

pyrite: a physical health headcanon i don’t think that he’s as ripped as everyone seems to think he is? I mean yea he’s buff and strong and huge but i don’t think he’s got a perfect six-pack or anything. a very toned dad bod, if you will

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them as an authority figure, or a friend. or an enemy. depends on who ‘people’ is.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience CONVENIENCE.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories Ga’nar and Fenris, honestly. he avoids mentioning them in conversation like the plague. the names themselves ARE painful memories.

ruby: a happiness headcanon if he’s smiling with all of his teeth showing, it means he’s fucking ECSTATIC.

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose JESUS CHRIST I HATE THESE. he’d take Go’el, Draka, and Orgrim, probably. watching the rest of the clan plummet off a cliff (HIS FUCKING MOTHER BEING A PART OF THEM), he’d NEVER forgive himself.

serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money] DUROTAN? SEDUCE SOMEONE??? H A

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity he really doesn’t give a damn. what’s even the difference, in orc culture? everyone’s got long hair, everyone’s wearing skirts, everyone’s kicking ass and taking names... how does it work

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate answered

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is extremely. he cares about everyone and everything, and doesn’t want to hurt people if he doesn’t have to. unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be his wolfie, Nightstalker. loves him to bits

verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history an unbroken line of Frostwolf chieftains, apparently, and he descended from the nomadic Frostwolf Clan

zebra stone: what gets my muse excited wolf pups. hunting. Draka. Orgrim. Go’el. Geyah. weaving. horse-play. his clan mates. THERES A LOT.

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not? ... yes. he really, truly believes that everything will be okay.

[marymosley]

Don’t Lose Your Reimbursable Expenses

Nearly all employers offer some form of reimbursement for work-related expenses. And yet nearly all employees fail to take advantage of these reimbursements, usually through sloppy bookkeeping on their part.

I know this because for years I had a “good enough” system for making sure all of my work-related expenses were appropriately reimbursed. My “good enough” system broke down when things got really busy because I didn’t have time or energy to keep track of the receipts. If you have a “good enough” system yourself, then you’re leaving money on the table.

Taking the time to develop a trusted system to capture reimbursable expenses is worth the effort because the reimbursements are your money. This is cash that is paid back to you. There’s no additional income taxes, you’re just being reimbursed as if your employer paid for the expense in the first place.

I’m most familiar with the reimbursements offered by the Biglaw firms (those following the Cravath scale) but I think most of these apply to small and medium-sized firms as well, except for the taxi and meal expenses.

The large firms offer reimbursement for: (1) taxi rides home if you work after a certain time; (2) meals if you work late or if you work on the weekend; (3) bar association dues / membership fees; (4) professional development; (5) business travel; (6) mobile phone data plan; and (7) business development expenses.

How can you make sure you’re capturing 100% of those expenses?

Setting Up A System

The YNAB approach

For this task, I use the online budgeting tool You Need A Budget. I’ve played with different ways for categorizing these transactions over the year. Here is my current system.

When an expense comes in that is reimbursable, I move it out of the current account (usually a credit card account) into an account that is called Firm.

Here’s me moving an Uber ride that will be reimbursed.

Now that the expense have been moved to the Firm account, the YNAB sidebar shows the Firm account (which is categorized by YNAB as a simple checking account) as showing a negative balance.

This account stays negative until I receive a direct deposit from my firm reimbursing this expense. When the reimbursement arrives, I move the deposit to the Firm account, bringing the Firm account to zero if I’ve been fully reimbursed.

At any given time, I can look at the Firm account and see how much I’m owed. I also tend to notice if a long time has gone by and that account hasn’t zeroed out, which is usually a sign of either a lagging reimbursement or a sign that I haven’t submitted a receipt.

If I didn’t submit something for reimbursement, it’s easy to find the transaction in the Firm account (since the account is only listing reimbursable expenses anyway). From there, I can do whatever I need to do to get it reimbursed.

The downside to this system is that it will cause some slight problems with your budgeting and reporting. On the budgeting side, it means your account balances won’t exactly match up. Since you’re moving income from a checking account into the Firm account, your checking account will show a lower balance in YNAB than it has in reality, while your credit card will also show a lower balance that is has in reality (because you are in effect netting the credit card payment instantly rather than whenever the credit card is paid off).

I find this inconvenience minimal since I use YNAB strictly for managing the money I’ve decided to spend. I don’t need to have the YNAB budget amounts match the actual amounts in the accounts because all of the money that is entered into YNAB is going to be spent anyway, so the account balances are meaningless along as the budget is good.

Work Credit Card

Another option is to open up a credit card specifically for reimbursable expenses. You’ll only use this card for work-related expenses, which means that any balance on the card means that you haven’t done your job of getting the expense reimbursed.

A lot of people prefer this method because it allows you to easily separate personal and work expenses. All you need to do is make sure that the credit card is paid off monthly via your checking account.

I’ve found two problems with this system that ultimately made me move away from it.

First, I would occasionally forget to put a firm expense on the credit card. This becomes a pain because it’s not like you can transfer it after the fact, so you’re stuck remembering about a handful of work expenses that showed up on your personal credit card.

Second, if the credit card is being paid off from your checking account automatically every month (which is how you should set it up), once a payment goes by, there’s really no way to reconcile whether you were reimbursed for the expense or not. If the point of the system is to prompt you to get all expenses reimbursed, the system fails because you may or may not have time to audit the reimbursements you’ve received to make sure the total matches with the credit card expenses paid.

Stacking Paper Receipts

Sure, you can stack your receipts on your desk. I see this all the time. If you have a reimbursable expense, you put the receipt on your desk and keep it there until you get reimbursed (at which point you can toss it).

The benefit of this system is that you have a visual reminder that a particularly expense has not yet been reimbursed. It’s also slightly easier to delegate, since you could potentially hand the stack of receipts to an assistant to help you process.

The downsides are obvious. We’re living in a world where there are less and less paper receipts. Do you really want to print out a receipt from Uber to keep on your desk? That sounds like a hassle to find the receipt and to print it out.

Types of Expenses to Capture

Here are expenses you should be capturing:

Uber/Taxi Home from Work. Most firms will reimburse you if you leave the office after a certain time (e.g. 8:30pm). Learn your firm’s policy and take advantage when it makes sense. I find Uber convenient because Uber emails me a receipt at the end of the ride which I then forward to my assistant for reimbursement.

Overtime Meals. If you work late (e.g. 7:30pm), often firms will reimburse you for a meal. In my experience, most firms set up an account with Seamless and allow you to order from using a client matter code. You may be able to carry in meals as well, though check your firm’s policy.

Bar Association Dues/Membership. Anything associated with your license is likely reimbursable by your firm. Make sure to submit your membership to the American Bar Association, your license renewal fees, etc.

Mobile Data Plan. In the old days, a firm handed you a Blackberry when you started and trained you to dread the flashing red light. With the death of Blackberries, many firms have switched to reimbursing you for the data plan while you use your own device. The reimbursement amount might be $60 a month regardless of how much you’re spending on your data plan.

Professional Development. Some firms offer reimbursement for professional development. Professional develop expenses might include attending conferences or purchasing books or other items (like the ones I consistently recommend to corporate lawyers). These reimbursements are different from CLE credits. Many firms have a contract with a CLE provider like PLI. For professional development, I’ve found courses at places like CreativeLive and Udemy great for skill building. Keep in mind that your firm may cover professional development books you are already purchasing.

Business Travel. Travel for work is a reimbursable expense. Make sure you capture all travel expenses.

Business Development. Firms have different policies on business development expenses. Some firms will allow you to reimburse lunches and entertainment to encourage you to develop your own book of business or to strengthen relationships between the firm and its current clients. This means that your lawyer friends working at banks, private equity firms, corporations, etc. are fair game for lunch or evening events. Target events you wanted to attend anyway and pay for your friends to come. It’s a win/win situation for you and the firm.

Do you take advantage of your firm’s reimbursement policies? Do you have a system for capturing each expense and ensuring that each expense is reimbursed? What reimbursable expenses did I miss in this post? Let us know in the comments.

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[carygarman980]

Business in the Front, Party in the Back: Garage Edition.

I’ve owned my house for over five years now, and I have never—not once—parked a car in my garage. Honestly I often forget that it’s even a potential option, even though it’s right behind the house and I see it everyday. Both online and in real life, people persistently tend to refer to my garage as a “shed” or a “shack,” which for a while confused me. It has a garage door that faces the street and everything! But then I realized…that I use it as a shed-shack…and think of it as a shed-shack…and more than likely talk about it like a shed-shack while I continue to not utilize the ENTIRE SEPARATE BUILDING that I have ON MY VERY PROPERTY built SPECIFICALLY for the ultra-fancy purpose of sheltering THE THIRD MOST EXPENSIVE THING I OWN, behind my house and my debt, and MAYHAPS I should really start thinking of it as a garage?

Which really conflicts with my evident aspiration to also have a personal lumberyard, so it’s a tough call. I don’t know. We don’t need to dwell on it. We’re just talking about what the shed-shack is like right at this moment in time. To do that, let’s look at where we’ve been. Behold:

This is when I bought the house. The great thing about having such dire before photos is that I can never really feel that bad about how things stand today because, well…look! Evidently, there had been some kind of half-baked effort to extend the garage to accommodate a boat, which—speaking as a person who can barely maneuver my small utility trailer into my own driveway (or any kind of space, really)—sounds patently absurd. Clearly the project was abandoned before it had really gotten off the ground, though, leaving this…weed and trash pit?

Additionally, take note of the little door in that first image, because it becomes relevant shortly. OMG HANG ON, we’ll get there.

SO. When ALL THAT ASPHALT got removed from the backyard (prompting the insane summer of dirt-hauling and praying for the sweet relief of death), so did that cinderblock foundation, which left this charming view! There’s something about an old sloppy siding patch that I’m actually kind of fond of, even though I have NO patience for new sloppy patch jobs. I finally made the connection that the missing window on the back of the garage never actually left the premises, but rather got recycled as the old laundry room window! Which has now also been replaced, but anyway. What an odd choice.

Inside the garage, things had gotten a JUST A LITTLE crowded. Demo over at Bluestone Cottage had left me with piles and piles of wood trim to store until it gets cleaned up and re-installed. My first fencing project had left behind an extra panel. Upstairs kitchen demo supplied a kitchen’s worth of base cabinets and formica countertops, poor decisions granted me a bunch of falling-apart shutters that I intercepted at the dump, a twenty-dollar price tag on a cute art deco dresser had saddled me with…an extra dresser. And so on. You get the idea.

I’m not really sure when or exactly why somebody drywalled the whole interior of the garage, and in retrospect it might have been kind of nice…but it wasn’t in good condition, appeared moldy in some spots, and somewhat interfered with the plan to install new electric in here to run power tools, new exterior lighting, etc.

SO! I gutted all the drywall, exposing the unpainted backside of the shiplap siding and the studs. Rustic? Sure. Rustic.

A couple months before, my friends Kim and Scott over at Yellow Brick Home had put some super impressive work into their own detached garage, including adding these simple and strong wood brackets for storing excess lumber. Their garage is what garage dreams are made of. “Great!” I said. “I’ll do that, too!”

So I did that too.

Except I have a lot more wood than Kim and Scott do. And also a much smaller garage. These are two facts you might think I would have considered beforehand, but evidently I’m incapable of thinking this many steps ahead.

Simple brackets. I can build simple brackets. Here I am, building simple brackets as day turns to dusk. Brackets out of scrap wood to hold more scrap wood.

Turns out there is a real compatibility problem between me and these brackets. You also might think I would have foreseen this, but once again. Too many steps ahead. Lower those expectations PLEASE.

See, each one takes up a lot of space. The space that is a particular issue is that diagonal brace, because once your wood pile gets to the base of that diagonal brace, subsequent pieces of wood inch forward, causing your pile to be weird and uneven, and things to fall, and general mishap. The solution here is obviously to not have so much goddamned wood that the piles ever get higher than the bottom of the diagonal brace, but that’s obviously too much to ask of me at this moment in my life. Someday I will have used up a lot of this wood (I SWEAR I HAVE PLANS FOR ALMOST ALL OF IT PROBABLY I THINK) and this might not be an issue anymore. Even still, though, it’s not an especially space-efficient design.

What I SHOULD HAVE DONE (and later did do on one wall) was suck it up and buy these storage racks, because they’re a) made for this very purpose b) well-designed and very sturdy c) pretty macho. Unfortunately once I started building my simple brackets I couldn’t stop building my simple brackets.

Because I simply must tell you EVERYTHING, demo revealed another now-covered window on the other side of the garage, directly opposite the other window!

Siding is patched over on the exterior, and this window faces the fence that divides my property line from the neighbor’s. Maybe someday I’ll restore it but for now it’s kinda not hurting anybody.

SO. Back to the wall opposite the garage door. At this point there is lumber everywhere so I take a break to use a very small amount of it.

Remember when I said to take note of the skinny door on the side of the garage? It’s only 28″ wide—which is fine for just walking in and out, but try carrying a table saw through it. Or a long piece of wood. Or the lawnmower.

YES there’s a big garage door on the opposite end of the garage, but it’s outside of the fence, doesn’t have an electric opener, and stays locked for security…so using it means making sure the dog is in the house, opening the garage door from the inside, out onto the sidewalk with whatever the probably heavy thing is, back into the backyard through the gate, back into the garage to close it, back to the house to let the dog out who has now eaten something I forgot I left on the table…this was a pain.

Long ago I dazzled you with this beautiful SketchUp rendering of my backyard, which is mostly different than anything I’ve done or plan to do anymore, but adding doors to the back of the garage didn’t change! The idea is that it allows more light into the garage, and provides an easy, convenient, and LARGE access to bring big things in and out. In theory you could put a table saw or a planer in the middle of the garage, open up both sides, and feed a long board through. In practice, thusfar there has always been too much stuff for this concept to become a reality, but I HAVE DREAMS, OK?

So, I invited my friends over for a relaxing afternoon of light framing work and demolition. And by friends I mean Edwin and Edgar, the ride-or-die power duo I rope into pretty much everything I do. We built a header with hoarded lumber and supported it with hoarded jack and king studs. Evil plan in action!

Then we cut a big hole! Light streamed in! Angels sang!

Into the opening, we inserted this set of pre-hung french doors. Pre-hung doors are so simple! So drama-free! A few shims, a few screws, and viola! Doors!

Edgar, who is magic with a circular saw, ripped off the ends of the siding around the door to accommodate a new casing.

The hardest part of assembling the new cashing is, luckily, not very hard! A few passes on the table saw and I had a good replica of the drip cap that sits over the other doors and windows on the garage and parts of the house. Some lumber yards have this piece available, too.

Some more scrap wood and a hefty dose of Bondo later…looking pretty good, doors!

Speaking of Bondo: Bondo is a bit tricky and, I find, unreliable for exterior wood repairs, at least in this climate. Some people swear by it, some people won’t touch the stuff—I fall somewhere in the middle. I’ve had repairs fail after just one year on bare wood, although repairs where I’ve used at least 1-2 coats of primer on bare wood before applying Bondo have been fine—for now, at least. A much better product—although more expensive and time-consuming (it takes about a week to cure)— is Abatron WoodEpox. For what it’s worth, although not recommended, I’ve never seen a Bondo repair on interior painted woodwork fail—just outside. It can’t seem to take the expansion and contraction that occurs with exterior woodwork in the upstate NY climate.

SO. Way back when I said I was going to do this, and then a bit later did it, and then neglected to blog about it, there was comment drama about the doors. They are pine. They are made for interior, not exterior use. They are single pane and not particularly weatherproof. I chose them in large part because they were affordable at $377, and I figured worst case scenario, someday I’ll have to replace them into a now-existing standard-sized opening, which isn’t really such a big deal. I stand by it! They’ve been through 3 whole winters at this point and haven’t shifted or shown separation at joints, etc., and I think they should last many more years without issue.

SO. Current Status: TOO MUCH WOOD. In fairness there are many not-wood items like a few large tools, 2 spare cast iron sinks (as one does), various gardening and landscaping accoutrement, roofing shingles for a rainy day (get it?), window sash (pl.), extra corbels, uh…I don’t know, stuff. It’s an overcrowded disaster which I swear is not nearly as disorganized as it might appear. I have a LOT of interior finishing work coming up (THANK GOD. I AM SO TIRED OF FRAMING AND PLUMBING AND ELECTRIC AND INSULATION AND SIDING I COULD SCREAM. I AM SCREAMING.), so I’m kind of perversely excited to see how thinned out I can get this in the coming months. Also, intensely motivated to get this garage back under control because this is driving me nuts. At a certain point the strategy backfires because there’s too much to even see what you have, and fishing it out becomes a big hassle.

Additionally. You may note. That the last two are recent pictures. And I mentioned these doors were installed 3 years ago. There is a simple explanation for this. I never actually finished painting the doors. Because I just did not. The options were to finish painting the doors or do something other than finish painting the doors, and I have consistently chosen the latter option for multiple years now.

Also, they really need hardware. The lack of hardware is an issue.

TA-DA!!!

[billydmacklin]

Business in the Front, Party in the Back: Garage Edition.

I’ve owned my house for over five years now, and I have never—not once—parked a car in my garage. Honestly I often forget that it’s even a potential option, even though it’s right behind the house and I see it everyday. Both online and in real life, people persistently tend to refer to my garage as a “shed” or a “shack,” which for a while confused me. It has a garage door that faces the street and everything! But then I realized…that I use it as a shed-shack…and think of it as a shed-shack…and more than likely talk about it like a shed-shack while I continue to not utilize the ENTIRE SEPARATE BUILDING that I have ON MY VERY PROPERTY built SPECIFICALLY for the ultra-fancy purpose of sheltering THE THIRD MOST EXPENSIVE THING I OWN, behind my house and my debt, and MAYHAPS I should really start thinking of it as a garage?

Which really conflicts with my evident aspiration to also have a personal lumberyard, so it’s a tough call. I don’t know. We don’t need to dwell on it. We’re just talking about what the shed-shack is like right at this moment in time. To do that, let’s look at where we’ve been. Behold:

This is when I bought the house. The great thing about having such dire before photos is that I can never really feel that bad about how things stand today because, well…look! Evidently, there had been some kind of half-baked effort to extend the garage to accommodate a boat, which—speaking as a person who can barely maneuver my small utility trailer into my own driveway (or any kind of space, really)—sounds patently absurd. Clearly the project was abandoned before it had really gotten off the ground, though, leaving this…weed and trash pit?

Additionally, take note of the little door in that first image, because it becomes relevant shortly. OMG HANG ON, we’ll get there.

SO. When ALL THAT ASPHALT got removed from the backyard (prompting the insane summer of dirt-hauling and praying for the sweet relief of death), so did that cinderblock foundation, which left this charming view! There’s something about an old sloppy siding patch that I’m actually kind of fond of, even though I have NO patience for new sloppy patch jobs. I finally made the connection that the missing window on the back of the garage never actually left the premises, but rather got recycled as the old laundry room window! Which has now also been replaced, but anyway. What an odd choice.

Inside the garage, things had gotten a JUST A LITTLE crowded. Demo over at Bluestone Cottage had left me with piles and piles of wood trim to store until it gets cleaned up and re-installed. My first fencing project had left behind an extra panel. Upstairs kitchen demo supplied a kitchen’s worth of base cabinets and formica countertops, poor decisions granted me a bunch of falling-apart shutters that I intercepted at the dump, a twenty-dollar price tag on a cute art deco dresser had saddled me with…an extra dresser. And so on. You get the idea.

I’m not really sure when or exactly why somebody drywalled the whole interior of the garage, and in retrospect it might have been kind of nice…but it wasn’t in good condition, appeared moldy in some spots, and somewhat interfered with the plan to install new electric in here to run power tools, new exterior lighting, etc.

SO! I gutted all the drywall, exposing the unpainted backside of the shiplap siding and the studs. Rustic? Sure. Rustic.

A couple months before, my friends Kim and Scott over at Yellow Brick Home had put some super impressive work into their own detached garage, including adding these simple and strong wood brackets for storing excess lumber. Their garage is what garage dreams are made of. “Great!” I said. “I’ll do that, too!”

So I did that too.

Except I have a lot more wood than Kim and Scott do. And also a much smaller garage. These are two facts you might think I would have considered beforehand, but evidently I’m incapable of thinking this many steps ahead.

Simple brackets. I can build simple brackets. Here I am, building simple brackets as day turns to dusk. Brackets out of scrap wood to hold more scrap wood.

Turns out there is a real compatibility problem between me and these brackets. You also might think I would have foreseen this, but once again. Too many steps ahead. Lower those expectations PLEASE.

See, each one takes up a lot of space. The space that is a particular issue is that diagonal brace, because once your wood pile gets to the base of that diagonal brace, subsequent pieces of wood inch forward, causing your pile to be weird and uneven, and things to fall, and general mishap. The solution here is obviously to not have so much goddamned wood that the piles ever get higher than the bottom of the diagonal brace, but that’s obviously too much to ask of me at this moment in my life. Someday I will have used up a lot of this wood (I SWEAR I HAVE PLANS FOR ALMOST ALL OF IT PROBABLY I THINK) and this might not be an issue anymore. Even still, though, it’s not an especially space-efficient design.

What I SHOULD HAVE DONE (and later did do on one wall) was suck it up and buy these storage racks, because they’re a) made for this very purpose b) well-designed and very sturdy c) pretty macho. Unfortunately once I started building my simple brackets I couldn’t stop building my simple brackets.

Because I simply must tell you EVERYTHING, demo revealed another now-covered window on the other side of the garage, directly opposite the other window!

Siding is patched over on the exterior, and this window faces the fence that divides my property line from the neighbor’s. Maybe someday I’ll restore it but for now it’s kinda not hurting anybody.

SO. Back to the wall opposite the garage door. At this point there is lumber everywhere so I take a break to use a very small amount of it.

Remember when I said to take note of the skinny door on the side of the garage? It’s only 28″ wide—which is fine for just walking in and out, but try carrying a table saw through it. Or a long piece of wood. Or the lawnmower.

YES there’s a big garage door on the opposite end of the garage, but it’s outside of the fence, doesn’t have an electric opener, and stays locked for security…so using it means making sure the dog is in the house, opening the garage door from the inside, out onto the sidewalk with whatever the probably heavy thing is, back into the backyard through the gate, back into the garage to close it, back to the house to let the dog out who has now eaten something I forgot I left on the table…this was a pain.

Long ago I dazzled you with this beautiful SketchUp rendering of my backyard, which is mostly different than anything I’ve done or plan to do anymore, but adding doors to the back of the garage didn’t change! The idea is that it allows more light into the garage, and provides an easy, convenient, and LARGE access to bring big things in and out. In theory you could put a table saw or a planer in the middle of the garage, open up both sides, and feed a long board through. In practice, thusfar there has always been too much stuff for this concept to become a reality, but I HAVE DREAMS, OK?

So, I invited my friends over for a relaxing afternoon of light framing work and demolition. And by friends I mean Edwin and Edgar, the ride-or-die power duo I rope into pretty much everything I do. We built a header with hoarded lumber and supported it with hoarded jack and king studs. Evil plan in action!

Then we cut a big hole! Light streamed in! Angels sang!

Into the opening, we inserted this set of pre-hung french doors. Pre-hung doors are so simple! So drama-free! A few shims, a few screws, and viola! Doors!

Edgar, who is magic with a circular saw, ripped off the ends of the siding around the door to accommodate a new casing.

The hardest part of assembling the new cashing is, luckily, not very hard! A few passes on the table saw and I had a good replica of the drip cap that sits over the other doors and windows on the garage and parts of the house. Some lumber yards have this piece available, too.

Some more scrap wood and a hefty dose of Bondo later…looking pretty good, doors!

Speaking of Bondo: Bondo is a bit tricky and, I find, unreliable for exterior wood repairs, at least in this climate. Some people swear by it, some people won’t touch the stuff—I fall somewhere in the middle. I’ve had repairs fail after just one year on bare wood, although repairs where I’ve used at least 1-2 coats of primer on bare wood before applying Bondo have been fine—for now, at least. A much better product—although more expensive and time-consuming (it takes about a week to cure)— is Abatron WoodEpox. For what it’s worth, although not recommended, I’ve never seen a Bondo repair on interior painted woodwork fail—just outside. It can’t seem to take the expansion and contraction that occurs with exterior woodwork in the upstate NY climate.

SO. Way back when I said I was going to do this, and then a bit later did it, and then neglected to blog about it, there was comment drama about the doors. They are pine. They are made for interior, not exterior use. They are single pane and not particularly weatherproof. I chose them in large part because they were affordable at $377, and I figured worst case scenario, someday I’ll have to replace them into a now-existing standard-sized opening, which isn’t really such a big deal. I stand by it! They’ve been through 3 whole winters at this point and haven’t shifted or shown separation at joints, etc., and I think they should last many more years without issue.

SO. Current Status: TOO MUCH WOOD. In fairness there are many not-wood items like a few large tools, 2 spare cast iron sinks (as one does), various gardening and landscaping accoutrement, roofing shingles for a rainy day (get it?), window sash (pl.), extra corbels, uh…I don’t know, stuff. It’s an overcrowded disaster which I swear is not nearly as disorganized as it might appear. I have a LOT of interior finishing work coming up (THANK GOD. I AM SO TIRED OF FRAMING AND PLUMBING AND ELECTRIC AND INSULATION AND SIDING I COULD SCREAM. I AM SCREAMING.), so I’m kind of perversely excited to see how thinned out I can get this in the coming months. Also, intensely motivated to get this garage back under control because this is driving me nuts. At a certain point the strategy backfires because there’s too much to even see what you have, and fishing it out becomes a big hassle.

Additionally. You may note. That the last two are recent pictures. And I mentioned these doors were installed 3 years ago. There is a simple explanation for this. I never actually finished painting the doors. Because I just did not. The options were to finish painting the doors or do something other than finish painting the doors, and I have consistently chosen the latter option for multiple years now.

Also, they really need hardware. The lack of hardware is an issue.

TA-DA!!!

Business in the Front, Party in the Back: Garage Edition. published first on https://carpetgurus.tumblr.com/

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Arguably, the most potent part of affiliate marketing strategy for newbies is to have a solid affiliate product selection. When referring to ClickBank specifically, anyone (including you) can be overwhelmed by the amounts of products shelving on the marketplace itself. You cannot afford to wrongly pick a product to promote because a poor product won't solve people's problem (remember the principle why we want to be an affiliate; to help people, not to scrape money all the way) and just because a product is so popular on ClickBank, doesn't mean that the product is fit for a newbie to promote.

After miles of article and forum readings be it online and offline, I recognized that there are general criteria set by experts and advanced affiliate marketers that ensure the products they promote will bang in their market audience regardless of their niche positioned. The criteria also somewhat correspond to what my internet marketing guru taught me in many classes held.

Below would be me my personal criteria when picking up a product that I want to promote. Kindly note that the criteria mentioned are solely of my humble knowledge and through hours of comprehensive reading. I'd welcome positive comments if you have any, so it may serve as a guideline to me and newbies out there:

1) Kick off your campaign promoting a niche of your interest or expertise yet can be monetized while at the same closely converging it to the big three niche; wealth, health and relationship. The three niches mentioned are widely accepted as the evergreen of affiliate marketing but are jam packed with skilled and more experience marketers. Furthermore wealth niche in particular would require you to have considerable amount of proof attributed to your affiliate success, so don't ever sell lies to your potential customer in the first place (by clipping some doctored ClickBank income or fake cars). Don't go however for a niche that may have astounding searches on Google but little people are keen to actually spend on it. Once you have developed your maturity and authority in your newbies niche then you can start digging into the big three. These three niches have the biggest pool to monetize, so don't waste your time drifting into a niche so detail that actually has little to no money making potential. Forget about level of competition momentarily because every niche has competitors lurking anyway. Example: if you are an avid violin player, why not start your affiliate business in violin e-course or selling violin music sheets for starters. This way, not only you know what to say about you are also building your authority faster. Plus buyer will trust you better. The key here is to start with something you are well versed with and knowledgeable about.

2) Take time when finding and assessing any product offered on ClickBank. Select and weigh products of similar niche then filter into more detailed criteria. We want a quality product that solves problems with the fastest and the most effective result. You can't beat the nature of being human itself; we want a fast yet simple solution. Furthermore, you want to avoid after sales issues (refund especially) as a result from promoting poor product. To identify, a good product always comes with good review. Check out the product review on Google; type product name + review to get overall perception of the product. If the search engine results page (SERP) returns with product advertisements, better but try to avoid it as it may be too competitive for beginners. You may want to scout merchant's sales page too. If merchant's sales page able to negate every doubt prior to purchasing, that's the winner. Don't go for a sloppy furnished site that has little proof, testimonials and/ or no guarantee.

3) Look for a reputable vendor/ merchant. A vendor/ merchant is the product owner of the product you are promoting. A good vendor would likely support its affiliates better, usually with marketing tools (solo ads, article review transcripts, etc.) that would be very helpful for newbies. Reputable vendor also means that you are going to ensure your product you are promoting is going to run on a long term rapport because we want to have the product running on auto- pilot mode later on. See if a vendor is contactable through email and observe vendor's promptness, transparency and readiness. If the merchant happens to have seasonal newsletter, subscribe to it so the vendor can assist you in marketing strategies or useful tips. If vendor responds poorly, you can likely tell vendor after- sales response and friendliness. Better yet, browse through vendor's profile on Google to get clearer insight of the vendor.

4) Not many internet marketers would tell you this but this tip is fairly important as for me. Avoid sales page with opt-in subscription, pop- up, free trial and/ or merchant contact. These kind of promotional tools will steal away your potential buyer from your browser cookie if the merchant ever solicit your potential purchaser using their own newsletter or discount pop- ups. You want your buyer to be intrigued of what you are promoting and such leaks actually distract your buyer's attention too. To tackle this tip is very easy, just thoroughly filter and avoid sales page with these criteria. If you are feeling lucky, you can contact (by contacting merchant, you are also doing the above tip) merchant and ask for secondary sales page provided if they have it.

5) Always check product's gravity before promoting. While the gravity determinant differs among affiliates and always opens for debate, it is best said that the fair line for newbies should not run lower than 30 and not more than 100. (30 < product < 100). This is how ClickBank define gravity:

"Grav: Short for Gravity performance statistic, this number represents a unique calculation by ClickBank that takes into account the number of different affiliates who earned a commission by promoting this product over the past 12 weeks. Since more recent transactions are given a higher value, this number can give you an idea of what products are "hot" at the moment, in terms of being promoted by many affiliates and making a good number of sales. However, high gravity can also indicate that there will be a lot of competition in promoting this product."

While it is enlighten to read the definition, even many experts vary their opinion on this. As a newbie, safe to get the idea that if a product's gravity equals to zero (0), it means no affiliates have carded sales in the last 12 weeks. A product with gravity say, 250 signifies that the product has been sold by affiliates for the past 12 weeks. Single digit product gravity tells that the product is relatively low in terms of sales. From my observation, zero (0) gravity products tend to be stuff that has not enough sales for affiliates to promote and push traffic to the site but experts from various forums agree that beyond 100 product gravity means that the product has intense competition, and the product is widely available through mostly advanced affiliates which newbies should avoid. In order to get into the range, just click the drop-down button and sift through the product that meet the range (30 < product < 100). Tips: if possible don't even sit close to 100 because the higher the gravity number, the stiffer the competition. A note of advice though, a low demand niche should be composed of a tighter gravity range. In summary, product's gravity doesn't tell you anything about conversions or how much money a product is making, etc.

6) Go for high earnings per sale. Not wanting you to be greedy but ClickBank houses mainly digital products where no physical storage required and no expiry date for products offered. I guess it is not too much to ask. A point of advice though: search for products that carry initial average percentage of sale between 50% to 75% of commission and avoid product that pays you less than $10 per sale. It is just not worth it. You will be indulging later on with all of the hard work for keyword and product searches, long list of article writings and possible outsourced tasks for site search engine optimization and advertisements. Come on, $10 per sale is measly peanuts for your efforts! Zoom in for a better bargain as there are plenty of products that will meet the criteria. Just set the filter attributes for Avg %/Sale to 50% to 75% but don't forget that priority has to be put to product's gravity.

There you go, a compilation affiliate marketing strategy for newbies- product selection. I hope this would serve as your preferred guide whenever you're taking a dip on ClickBank. If you are new to affiliate marketing, feel free to dig up more information from my website http://ift.tt/2Dq1X5e. Plenty of insights, advice and tips that will help you comprehend affiliate marketing better and ultimately get the taste of your first affiliate marketing success!