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venusalexian · 1 day ago

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solet • let me do this for you

part 1

barça femení x teen!reader, alexia putellas x teen!reader

in which you finally let someone in, and Alexia accepts that she’ll be having a bigger role in your life than she first expected

Ale had driven you to the grounds this morning, as she tends to do now if she has a free day when you have a game. You were so excited for this game. Your grandpa had recuperated well from his surgery, even if he now needed some extra care, and Ale’s presence in your life had become a constant. You couldn’t believe this was your life now.

You went into the game eager to win, to score, to lead. By half time, you had scored once and provided an assist. You were on fire, but everything changed when you stepped into the tunnel and Ale was waiting for you, a worried frown in her face.

“Solet, I need you to stay calm while I tell you this, okay?.” She said. “Your neighbor called, they’ve had to take your grandma into the hospital because she fainted. They firmly believe she’s going to be okay. I will drive you to the hospital right now if that’s what you want.” You can’t believe she’s even doubting it. There is no way you’re making it back out into the pitch now.

“Please Ale, let’s go.” You rush to the locker room to get your things and run all the way to Ale’s car, impatient.

“It’s all gonna be okay, I promise.” Ale says as she lays her free hand on your arm, the other on the steering wheel.

You really want to believe her, but you don’t really think she has the ability to fulfill this one. You don’t respond. You just lay your head against the window and let its coldness ground you to reality.

As soon as you get to the waiting room you make a beeline for your grandfather, who sits in a corner. He’s recuperated from his surgery, but he still can’t stand for long periods of time and needs help remembering to take his meds. You break down as soon as you’re in his arms.

”Oh, mi niña, everything’s gonna be okay. She was awake when they got her into the ambulance. It was just a big scare, but she’s going to be okay.”

You nod against his chest but don’t detach from his hold. You won’t believe it until you see her with your own eyes and doctors confirm it, but you appreciate the comfort of his words. You turn a bit to look to your left. Ale is talking with your neighbor. She has her capitana face on. That relaxes you further.

You hate how unhelpful you’re being. You should be more composed, asking questions, making sure your grandpa is also okay, planning for any contingencies that might come from this incident. But you can only cling, and cry, like a child. So you’re happy to see that Ale has taken control of the situation, because at least somebody has. You’ve been trusting her with more of yourself and your life over the past months, and you’re so, so glad about it now. She looks over at you, and you know she understands what it means to you. The guilt of your impotence stays, but the pressure eases and you let yourself just fall.

Alexia is looking at you and seeing a kid. A strong, resilient kid. But a kid. So she takes charge, and she accepts that caring for you is coming more naturally to her every day. And as she waits with you for news about your grandma, she gradually also accepts the role she wants to play in your life. More than she’d let herself in the past, more than she’s ever said out loud.

“So… Why are the kids talking about you adopting another kid?” Marta approached Alexia with a massive smirk at the end of training.

“Yeah Ale, I thought you’d at least talk to me before you got a kid outside of this team.” Oh, Irene was having too much fun with this conversation.

“First of all, there is no another, I don’t have any kids, period.” A chorus of ‘hey’ and ‘rude’ was heard from the other side of the room, most notably (and loudest) by Vicky and Jana. Alexia just rolled her eyes. Apparently, the whole team was a part of the conversation now. “And secondly, I have not adopted a kid. I’m just… mentoring.”

“Mentoring? Is that what they call it now? Mentoring is driving a kid to and from practice?” Jana continued teasing her.

Alexia had gotten into the habit of driving you when she could especially to and from late night practices, thinking that it was much too late for you to be out taking public transportation.

“Or staying to watch those practices?” followed Sydney, who’s joking character was coming more and more out as she became more comfortable with the first team.

Now, Alexia knew how to perfectly justify this one.

“I am captain of this team, I have a duty to check in with the B team and source for talent.” she answered, feeling smug.

“Oh, and is having Sunday lunch with her and her family a form of recruitment?” added Vicky, who had become closer with the teen and had taken to chatting with her on occasion.

Alexia actually didn’t know how to respond to this one. She had taken your grandmother’s invitation a couple of time when you had Sunday morning games and she had a free weekend. She loved getting to know you more by spending time with you and your grandparents. And although she thought you pressured yourself too much, she saw herself reflected in your protectiveness, diligence and sense of responsibility toward your family and team.

“Better yet. Why did your girlfriend text me asking if I could give her more information about the kid because she wants to make a good impression when you bring her over for Sunday dinner at your mom’s this weekend?” added Ingrid.

Alexia muttered “traitor” as the locking room erupted in chaos. Everyone knows how much it means for their protective and family-oriented captain to introduce people to her family.

“Okay, enough. I care about her, yes. And she doesn’t have too many people on her corner, so I decided to become one.”

Everyone softened at that, understanding the importance and vulnerability of the statement.

“Now, no more social chit-chat about my life or you’re all running three times as much before practice.”

The soft expressions were replaced with groans, complaints and the occasional soft object thrown at her. Oh how she loves her fútbol family.

Your neighbor has had to leave; she has her own family to care for. So it’s just you, your grandpa, and Ale. Each sitting on a seat to your side. The doctor comes out after a half hour of waiting. The good news is that she’s okay, she’s awake, and there is nothing life-threatening. It feels like a toll has been lifted off your shoulders. But then he continues: it was a big fall, a symptom of an underlying heart condition. It means more medication and the possibility for this to happen again or other bad things. You feel dizzy again. You only hear bits and pieces of the rest: needs more monitorization, will need more constant care for a couple of weeks, she’s gonna stay overnight, you’ll be able to see her soon. You cling to the last part to stay in touch with reality.

Ale sees you drowning, so she asks, “Do you trust me to help, to take over now and help you through this? Let me do this for you?”

You nod. You need her to. You don’t even have any space in your worrying to overthink what this means or why she’s willing to do all this for you. You need her now, and the rest will come when everything’s more calm.

“I’m gonna make a few calls, okay? Can I tell a couple of people what is going on? The girls, mami and Olga are all worried. I won’t say much, just a quick update, okay?”

You nod again. You haven’t uttered a word since you got into Ale’s car. You can’t. So when she nods back, you hide your face in your grandpa’s chest again. You try to distract yourself with happier memories until you can see your grandma again. Thinking of her still hurts, so you focus on your team, your friends, and the people in Ale’s life you’ve met in the past weeks.

You felt dizzy from anticipation. You kept bouncing your leg in the passenger seat, and checking your outfit on the rear-view mirror. Ale noticed your fidgeting and laid her free hand on your shoulder.

“Are you nervous?” her eyes didn’t stray from the road but you noticed her half-grimace. Ale is not the best at not asking obvious questions, but you know it’s because she doesn’t know how to start the conversation otherwise.

“Yeah, I just…” you also grimaced, feeling like a little kid. “I want them to like me.” you mumbled, embarrassed.

“Oh, solet. They will. Mami is a natural caretaker, she’ll take you under her wing immediately. And Alba and Olga will just love having one more person to team up with against me.” Ale rolled her eyes, fondly.

She exudes a different type of softness when she talks about the women in her life, even when she fakes being annoyed at their antics. Her response calmed you, though.

Ale was absolutely right, of course.

As soon as you entered Ale’s home, her mom was giving you a massive hug and when she pulled away, she told you how beautiful you are and that she was really excited to meet you. You were blushing again. She hugged her daughter next, and then motioned for you both to go to the living room while she finished cooking. You offered to help, and you were rewarded with a wide smile and a pinch to your cheek. Ale got a quip that “she ought to keep her instead of her daughters if she keeps this helpfulness up”.

You’re still flushed when you reached the living room with Ale to find her sister and girlfriend sitting at the table in conversation. They stood up when you entered the room. Her sister moved to you, hugged you and introduced herself. You opened your mouth to do the same but she interrupted before you could utter a word.

“Oh, I know who you are. Ale won’t shut up about you.” You both turned to her, but she was too busy kissing her girlfriend to notice. Alba covered your eyes and shouted. “Women, not in front of the kid!”

You smiled as Alba moved away her hand and smiled back at you, all nerves forgotten by now, replaced by warmth. Ale and Olga were walking towards you both now, Ale’s hand on the small of her back. Olga hugged you, and her smile was just as warm and soft as Ale’s.

“Yeah, Ale hasn’t shut up about you. We’re all really excited to meet her mini-me.” And there you were, blushing again. Had Ale really referred to you like that? Before you could ask, Ale’s mom called the four of you to finishing setting up as dinner was ready.

Conversation during dinner flowed. Ale was right, you had nothing to worry about and the night went perfectly. They all asked about you, eager to get to know you better. Alba and Olga did use your presence to rile Ale up. They shared embarrassing stories as she blushed and covered her face.

“I’ll lose my tough captain facade, stop.”

“You never had one to begin with, Ale”

By the time dinner ends, you couldn’t even believe you had been so nervous to meet them. Ale and Olga offered to drive you home. As you and Olga waited for Ale to finalize some arrangement with her mom, she put her arm around you, as the night had unexpectedly cooled and neither of you had come dressed for it. You basked in the comfort of her warmth and touch.

“I’m so glad Ale brough you over.” You looked up to the older woman, her smile exactly like Ale’s. “She is right, you know? You’re such a solet. I’m so glad you have each other.” Before you could respond, Ale was ushering you both inside the car and the motion of the road and the fullness from dinner lulled you to sleep. You miss their smile at your sleeping form, and their unspoken understanding of their care for you.

By the time Alexia finishes texting and calling, she has a plan. Alexia does well with plans, likes to prepare for things. But she has to talk to your grandparents first, and she doesn’t know how that conversation is going to go. Alexia is also quick on her feet, though, and works with what’s given. Knows how to fight for what she thinks is right.

It doesn't take long for a nurse to come by and lead the three of you to your grandma’s room. You cry again when you see she’s okay. You can’t cling to her like you did with your grandpa, so you’re content to sit by her side and hold her hand while she asks questions about the game, and you do your best to respond to her. Your words are stilted, but Ale and your grandpa smile because it’s the most you’ve spoken in hours.

After some more assurances, your grandma convinces you to go down to the cafeteria with your grandpa to have dinner. You’re hesitant to comply, but both her and Ale reassure you and don’t accept no for an answer. You give them one last glance to reassure yourself everything is okay befor eyou leave the room.

Alexia is nervous to be left alone with your grandma. She needs to start the conversation she knows is coming and despite the encouragement from her family, she isn’t sure to be ready for it. She doesn’t have to be, though, because your grandma beats her to it.

“She needs you.” There’s a heavy silence that follows; Alexia doesn’t know how to respond.

“She needs you because she’s a kid but doesn’t accept it. We both know that this incident means that both I and my husband need more help than she should be burdened by. She’s stretched thin enough, she already does too much. We want her to have fun, be a kid, a student, a footballer. Not a nurse, or a caretaker. She can’t do that if she’s constantly worried about us. And I know you know all this.”

Alexia stands seriously and silently and measures her words before speaking. She knows what’s next, but this is not her family, she doesn’t want to overstep. But if directly asked for her input, she’ll do it. She’ll take care of everything. For you.

“I do, yeah.”

“We need that kind of help but it can’t come from her. So will you help? I’ve seen you grow closer to her, she admires you so much, relishes your attention and care. If we ask you for it, if she agrees, are you ready for this?”

Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“Yes.”

She can see the tension leave your grandma.

“Good. Now we can talk specifics. What’s your plan? Tell me and then we can tell her together.”

In the morning after you, Ale and your grandpa went home to sleep –Ale taking the couch even if you insisted on her taking the bed–, it’s Ale also who drives back to the hospital and brings your grandma home when she’s released. All four of you sit in the living room and when you try to fuss over your grandma, all three of them reassure you she’s okay.

“Mi vida, we have something to discuss.” Your grandma starts, and you squirm, uncomfortable at being out of loop.

“Alexia and us have a proposal for you, mi niña. We’ll do only what you want us to, but we think this is the best for all of us, and especially you.” You don’t respond to your grandpa, just nod, the anticipation driving you crazy. Your grandma takes over the conversation again.

“We love you so much, mi vida. We love how kind you are, how responsible, and how much you care for us. But your grandpa and I need more help, and we want you to not be burdened by it.” You’re about to protest –they’re not a burden, would never be, you love them and you’ll always care for them–but Ale stops you.

“Ssh, solet, listen to what we have to say first, okay?” You nod again instead of responding.

“So remember when I made a few calls yesterday at the hospital? I set up a couple of things. First, there is a home-care medical team that will be taking care of your grandparents from now on. They’re the best, but we still get to pick who’s going to be coming to stay with them for continued care. You’ll be part of that decision too.”

You exhale, thankful that Ale took over arranging this service. Deep down, you know that even if you would have tried your hardest, your grandparents need specialized care you wouldn’t be able to provide.

“And we also thought something else, but we’ll only do this if you want to and completely at your pace.” You become uneasy again at their own nervous expressions.

“Mi vida, we’ve thought that you spend so much time moving from here to the city, and it’s not benefitting you in your studies, or your football career, so Alexia kindly offered an arrangement that we think will work for all of us.”

“Solet, I’d like it if you moved in with me.” There is nothing but shock in your expression now. You have no idea how to respond, this being the last thing you expected from this conversation.

“We were thinking you could stay with me over the week, so you can go to a school that is more understanding of your football career, like many of your teammates, and be closer to the training grounds. You’ll come back to stay over weekends with your grandparents, so you’ll still see them a lot. And you can obvious tell me anytime you wanna be with them, and we’ll make it work so you never feel detached.”

You stop her nervous rambling with an obvious question, still in shock.

“You really want me to move in with you? Are you sure?”

Her smile is so, so soft again. Her eyes so kind, but also somewhat exasperated, she can’t believe you don’t understand how much she cares for you yet.

“Yes, solet. And before you ask. Yes, I’ve talked to Olga, she also thinks this is good. She’s in and out of the house these days because of work in Madrid so she thinks this is actually good for us both, apparently I don’t struck her as someone who lives well alone.” She rolls her eyes when she shares that part, but she’s still smiling.

“And, avis, you think this is best for all of us? Because I’ll still miss you a lot, but you’re right that I’ve been struggling these days.”–you finally admit–“And I guess if there’s a professional caring for you here and I can call you anytime and come often, then, I guess, it seems like a good solution to me too.”

All three of them smile widely at you, glad that you see the same things they do.

“Yes, mi niña, we do. And this is always your home, you can be here as much as you want to.”

“Okay” You say, and it feels definitive, the start of something.

—

an:

so here’s the second part of solet! it took me a bit longer than expected but I wanted to do a good job at setting everything up and it made it longer than i initially expected.

this is the end of setting up the arc, and stories from now on will be just instances of solet’s life :)

I already have some ideas drafted, but I’m super eager to get requests and asks about this world of what kind of things you’d like to see from solet’s life.

thank you for reading!

xoxo, a.c.

#barcelona femeni x reader #barca femeni x teen!reader #alexia putellas x teen!reader #alexia putellas x reader #alexia x reader #barca femeni x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader #teen!reader

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random-arcane-fan · 3 days ago

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transcriptions below the cut

Arcane's relationship with League lore

I really don't know anything about LoR. The intent was to fill gaps in lore with Arcane, but stay mostly consistent. There's exceptions, certainly, we did have full support to tell the story we wanted and we wanted our characters' actions to feel consistent within Arcane.

Vi & Caitlyn

reply to AnComAlice: Ever since Vi came out in the game, I've always thought, "Why are you a cop?" Do you ever feel constrained by the source material?

Not in Arcane. I love telling difficult stories. Those are the best kinds.

reply to deebriedee: Will there still be "aww" moments between Cait & Vi even if a romantic relationship is established? So many shows have that one couple everyone ships but the moment they get together or the relationship is solidified by a kiss etc, nothing happens afterwards and I'd hate that.

I can't say anything about what may or may not happen. We are trying to tell believable stories based on characters' "lived" experience. That doesn't sound very believable to me?

reply to caitcupcakelyn: I have a question: Did Caitlyn falsify the release order on Jayce's behalf? Since when Marcus mentions it to Jayce he looks surprised, and also Mrs. Kiramman tells Kait that she has violated several rules...

Yes! She used the knowledge Jayce just told her about him becoming a Councilor, and the offer he made to become her "head of security" to falsify a release order.

not replies:

There are several moments in the season where Vi is surprised by Caitlyn and looks at her differently. The animators did a phenomenal job tracking that subtext with her expressions, but the storyboard artists also had a hand, giving Vi closeups in those key moments.

Vi mentions it in her first scene with Caitlyn, but the Warden was implying that they would beat Vi to punish her every time she would beat up one of Silco's goons that ended up in Stillwater.

reply to skyllianhamster: I was a bit taken aback by Vi's callousness at the kid Jayce killed. I imagine the context was regarding exposure to death, which Jayce hasn't seen much of, but I read it in the context of death as normal collateral damage, which sounded cold for Vi. Thoughts on that scene?

Vi doesn't show her real feelings about the boy's death because it doesn't help her make her point to Jayce. But when he's not looking you can see how upset she is.

Vi & Jinx

They were all children, even Vi. It was traumatic experience [sic] and no one can blame children for their trauma. What Jinx says is her own warped perspective. Honestly, they all need therapy.

Vi has put all her hope of saving Powder into defeating the villain she believes created her: Silco. She takes out years of pent up frustration and rage on Svika, whom she thinks is the only thing standing between her and Silco.

On why Marcus took Vi

Marcus felt guilty for how his dealings with Silco lead to the death of Grayson, and wanted to do something to make amends. Vi would've died if she went after Silco in that moment and he knew it.

On the words "god" and "hell" showing up in dialogue

I know there are beings in Runeterra that are revered like gods or goddesses so we are ok with characters using that terminology. That example wasn't in the script so it must have been added by Hailee and left in because the team liked what it brought to her performance so much.

On English being used

Practically, their writing is not English because our global viewers won't hear the show in English. Creatively, Piltover is a melting pot of cultures, the reason some things are written in it is similar to how we recognize words in other languages that have universal meanings.

How the hextech weapons work

The gemstone powered the rocket with Hextech augmented acceleration (similar to the Hexgates). It's not consumed, just like Vi's gauntlets and Jayce's hammer don't consume their gemstones.

Silco

Silco grew up working in the mines and has a little tolerance to the gas. He also knew it was coming, and the others didn't.

reply to Darkri97: I only have a few if thats alright 1) If the water itself is toxic and open wounds react the way they do like with Silco what happened to Vander's arm since it was cut? 2) Is there any concept art listing everyone's height? 3) could we ever see concept art of the whole cast?

1) The eye is a delicate organ, which is why Silco's reaction was so strong.

[nothing missing; if there were other answers, they're cropped out]

reply to thelittleworms: After Silco met and talked with Vi in ep 6. Did Silco really believe Vi didn't come for her sister. Or he told Jinx like that because h didn't want to lose her? Or another reason?

He lied to her to manipulate her feelings.

not a reply:

Silco wears make up in Act 2 & 3 to cover his scars. One way he tries to bury his trauma.

reply to TearsOfaStay: Hi Amanda. First, a bog [sic] thanks to you and all arcane staff for this fabulous show. I don't know you can still answer questions. Have you considered silco's character in kind of a father love for jinx or he just raised and kept her bcs of his aims for having zaun independent?

Silco has his own fear of abandonment issues and uses those to manipulate Jinx. Even though it comes from that twisted place, I think Silco believes what he says when he tells Jinx she's perfect and he loves her like a father.

Trauma

reply to miliamalae: Hi Amanda! The writing for Arcane is stunningly observant in terms of mental health, trauma and how difficult experiences shape people. Did you rely on some pre-writing research, or is it mostly your own intuition? Either way - it is absolutely incredible! Thank you so much.

This was a big team effort of both research and intuition. It's certainly not everyone's experience with trauma, but hopefully believable in the heightened reality of a fantasy world? Glad you thought so, anyways.

Vander & the kids

Vander knew the girls before. Mylo and Claggor's parents also died on the bridge and Vander took them in like he took in Vi and Powder.

Vi and Powder snuck out when they weren't supposed to and followed Vander and their parents. I don't know their ages, but I think we were going for Vi being about the same age here as Powder is in act one.

Viktor

We have a backstory for Viktor that wasn't made canon to explain how he got into the Academy. His parents saved their money to buy him a uniform and he pretended to be a student until he gained Heimerdinger's attention. Instead of punishing him, Heimer made him his assistant!!

Jayce's opinion on Heimer

reply to ELWINDS: hi amanda! when jayce decided to push heimerdinger off of the council, how much of that decision was based on what he ACTUALLY said in the council room (his inaction on fixing issues with zaun, etc) vs heimerdinger wanting to destroy his only hope for saving viktor?

This is my opinion, but in that moment Jayce was using all those things he mentioned as a tool, but all he really cared about was saving Viktor. If Heimerdinger wasn't going to use his power on the Council to destroy the Hexcore, I don't think Jayce would've done it.

not a reply:

Jayce has been dealing with the council through Mel to get his Hextech approved and to build the Hexgates for a long time. He's been frustrated with their inaction for longer than we see onscreen in the show.

Ekko

Ekko is a little older than Jinx, I think he's like 19–20. After Vander died he went around helping Silco's victims until they had a little rag tag crew of people like him who wanted to help. They found the tree and were able to slowly expand into the Firelights.

I think Ekko beat Jinx in that fight because he learned from his mistakes in the childhood game, and was able to predict and dodge her moves.

reply to Ronie_6: Hi Amanda! Here is a question that I think I haven't seen: Ekko's parents are alive in Arcane? Or is he an orphan? (In the Universe page he has a short story called Lullaby that mentions them, but in Arcane he seem [sic] to live with the firelights) Thank you so much for everything! 💖

Sorry, I can't answer this for many reasons. None of which I can share.

Just a collection of what I feel were the more interesting tweets from Amanda Overton’s AMA:

Arcane’s relationship with League lore:

(emphasis mine)

(I read the “consistent within Arcane” as “please stop bugging us over very minor nitpicks”)

Vi & Caitlyn:

(no offense but I interpret that as cop!Vi is absolutely coming)

Sounds pretty straight forward to me that yes of course Vi and Cait would still be romantic if they became a couple as she would consider the opposite to be not believable behavior.

Vi & Jinx:

On why Marcus took Vi:

(LOL, no offense to Amanda, but I still think that that is a terrible reason/character motivation, to translate “he felt bad” to “I’m going to put a teenager in prison without a trial for 6-7 years” )

On the words “god” and “hell” showing up in dialogue:

On English being used:

How the hextech weapons work:

Silco:

Glad to hear it, I was kind of worried they might rewrite him into somebody who was privileged somehow and hence being a hypocrite.

(I read that as a “no” on “he was just using/keeping her for crime stuff” but on a “yes it is unhealthy because he is manipulating her because he clings to her due to his own abandonment issues”)

Trauma:

Vander & the kids:

Viktor:

Jayce’s opinion on Heimer:

Ekko:

Just a list of topics she went “sealed lips” on:

- people asking about how the League character of Camille intersects with the story of Arcane - people asking about more details on Ekko and Powder’s relationship

#not formatted like a proper image description #but I wanted a text version of everything #//#official #meta #Amanda Overton #src: twitter #Vi #worldbuilding #and other characters and subjects but those are what stood out to me #love that Vi's S1 morals are effectively “affiliated with Silco? die”#the Council's considering negotiations? no. go to WAR #homegirl has a lot of care to give and you either got it or you don't. fuck everyone else #and in the world department:#god(ly being)s real. cool #+the english tidbit is interesting #kind of implies certain english words are loanwords? primarily names #(seen on the arcade scoreboard #plus Jinx's various writings)#or maybe that they're all /speaking/ english (or insert-dub-language-here) but /writing/ smthn else?#like the doylist answer would seem to be that if we don't Need to read it then it's not readable #but I wouldn't have expected diegetic language to be touched upon period

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chuulyssa · 1 day ago

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there’s glitter on the floor after the party !

teaser it’s your birthday tonight, but do they remember, or care? pair gojo, nanami, geto, toji, sukuna x reader cw angst, just pure torture™, not proofread !

a/n it’s my birthday on 28th wooohoooo ! i wanted to be a sad girl tho *lana intensifies* let’s hope my parents take some notes and NOT do this

GOJO

for someone who liked cakes, sweets and celebrations so much, you didn’t think it would take this long for satoru to realize what day it was. you didn’t want to remind him either; he should remember it on his own, shouldn’t he? moreover, you had hated the look on his face when you reminded him of the anniversary date the two of you had planned together. he had panicked so hard and begun checking his notes and calendars, it was a pathetic sight, honestly.

“what?” his face had fallen immediately.

“don’t you remember?”

“uh, sweets, what exactly am i supposed to remember?” he had said.

he was just busy. but you had agreed upon this when you began dating him. not everyone was the strongest sorcerer in the world, not everyone had the number of things to do that he did.

“no, it’s fine.”

“you sure?” he had asked.

“yeah, it’s nothing, really.”

but you were quite sure he hadn’t forgotten. not this time. because you had checked in on his calendar a week before this, and today was marked rightly “her birthday” with a shit ton of emojis. so what was taking so long? maybe he was planning a surprise party? whatever it was, you didn’t think the prank needed to be dragged on for so long. since he remembered it, he ought to come out and celebrate already. and if he didn’t, well, whatever. you had many other birthdays to celebrate.

not when you saw that the party he kept was for someone else, some other girl, no

NANAMI

you’d been waiting for hours at this point. and it was nanami, the kento nanami. kento was never late, how could he be? if there was something he always relied on it was his ability to tell the time, whether it was his refusal to work overtime or his arrival on your dates before you.

so where was he now? he had hurried off in the morning before you had gotten a word out.

“i’m terribly sorry, sweetheart, i have to leave early today,” he had planted a quick kiss on your forehead.

“okay, okay,” you had blinked in confusion at his hurry. “where are you going though?”

“i have decided something.”

“decided what?”

he’d sighed cryptically. what was he hiding?

“it’s best if you didn’t know.”

“excuse me?”

he’d shaken his head and just… left? he hadn’t even wished you, not the night before, not the morning after. and just what had he decided? you were hurt, of course you were. where was he going in such a hurry? you had felt he had been growing distant from you for long now. but it did not make the pain of being left alone on your fucking birthday any better. but what could you do either way now? you had many other birthdays to celebrate.

not when you saw that he had returned to his sorcerer status, and completely abandoned all the plans the two of you had made for your future, no

GETO

he was too in love with his cult to notice, of course he was. suguru dumbass geto. of course it was his cult’s birthday today, who were you even? when he had first told you, to prevent yourself from crashing the fuck out, you had tried to shut up.

“oh.”

“yeah, so are you joining us tonight?” he had asked, as if he was bestowing an honour upon you by inviting you to his stupid party.

“i didn’t know you kept birthdays for your cult, haha,” please get the hint, you had prayed.

“we do, yes. you will join us tonight, hm? i want to take you there as my date.”

“oh, no, no i don’t think i will, actually.”

“huh, why not? you had been looking forward to this day for a long time, hadn’t you?”

yeah, you had. obviously you had. but when you were jumping around two weeks ago talking excitedly about a ‘birthday’, you did not mean it to be his cult’s day. was that too hard to notice? but all was okay, of course. ‘how could you ruin such a long relationship over a forgotten birthday?’ you were sure that’s what the older women of the cult would talk about if they knew. and besides, you had many other birthdays to celebrate.

not when he had decided to take another woman as his date for the event, showing that you were completely replaceable to him, no

TOJI

he had a mission planned out conveniently at midnight, just when the clock would strike 12 and you’d be a year older. but what could you say? it wasn’t as if it was in his control when someone wanted a person to die or not, he was just the man doing the job.

so you had let it go. one hour, two hours, twelve hours, eighteen hours, where the fuck was he?

“hey, sorry ma,” there was loud cheering from his side of the phone.

“where are you?”

“got this race i wanted to bet on actually—”

“shut up, no seriously, shut the fuck up, toji—”

“what? are you okay?”

“no i’m not, what the fuck—”

there was another cheer of celebration from his side. then silence.

“calm d—”

you hung up. 6pm and he was nowhere. you were sure even if he didn’t pick your call up that time. after this, he would go out drinking with shiu all night long, then come back home drunk and wobbling around, mumbling the tune to ‘happy birthday’ if he realized what day it was, and even then, you thought, you were being too optimistic with that last part. but he was an assassin, and you knew that. didn’t he deserve some happiness in life too? and you, you had many other birthdays to celebrate.

not when everyone tried to remind him of the day but he was too far gone to know, no

SUKUNA

what did you expect? your chamber to be full of decorations? the dining room to be laid with the most beautiful gifts ever? the corridors to be filled with balloons? though none of that was here, the mere mental image of sukuna blowing up balloons and trying not to pop them with his nails was funny.

funny. everything that could make your mind get off right now was funny. blowing the fire of your candelabrum out, leaving behind just smoke and discomfort. funny. pretending the dinner you had been served for the night was your highly expensive banquet designed just for tonight. funny. acting as if sukuna was right by your side, giggling, as if he didn’t always behave like human traditions meant nothing to him. funny.

“it’s my birthday, you know.”

“birthday? alright. what of it?”

“uh, birthday birthday? shouldn’t you be celebrating it?”

“what is there to celebrate? it is merely a day, no?” he had said it so simply that it made you backtrack.

“yes but—”

“and besides, you are only growing older. it would’ve been remarkable and truly something to celebrate if you had been growing younger by the days,” he chuckled, turning away from you to make his way to the council.

you laughed. funny. he was right though, wasn’t he? you had many other birthdays to celebrate.

not when he knew, he knew and he could not care less, showing his disdain for it too, no

of course, of course you had many other birthdays, many other years yet to come.

but not when it came at the expense of your self-respect, and you had to make a choice between loving and loving yourself, no

297 notes · View notes

youngheejay · 2 days ago

Text

Broken hearts and noses

Sometimes you have to get slammed in the face by a door to find your way back into your lover’s arms.

Starring: Jay x fem!reader [established relationship] feat. enhypen members

—————————————————————————

“All you do is work, work, work…” You crossed your arms in a pout and nagged Jay’s ear off as he tried to make some dinner. The emphasis laid on tried.

“Please, y/n. Not this again.” He exhaled tiredly.

“What do you mean ‘not this again’? If you would just listen to me I wouldn’t talk about it anymore!”

“Listen to you?? I’m already listening, y/n! What do you expect me to do?? Tell my manager ‘oh by the way, I can’t do the concert because my girlfriend complains about me not spending enough time with her’?” He put the wooden spoon rather harshly on the kitchen counter and started chopping up some vegetables on the cutting board.

“And I’m here with you right now, aren’t I? So I really don’t get why you’re still whining so much.” He uttered roughly.

His words were like a stab in your heart - he wasn’t taking you seriously. The realisation of it made you so upset that the corners of your mouth went down on their own. But you didn’t want to cry. At least not in front of him. Which was really weird - in the last two years you had been dating him, you never had a problem with crying in front of him.

That was before your last fight with him. Which was funnily enough also the last time you saw him, so 2 weeks ago:

~ “Are you seriously crying again about this?! That’s all you can do, right? Crying and getting on my fucking nerves.”

His harsh words surprised you so much that your tears automatically stopped from the shock. Or maybe it was an instant defense mechanism to protect yourself from any other hurtful words from your boyfriend.

Of course you tried to be rational: he was tired from work, y/n. You shouldn’t have brought it up. It was the wrong timing. He just had a fight with his manager and just wanted to have you by his side and didn’t want to hear you also complain. Complain about how lonely and neglected you felt for the last couple of months. Yet again.

And as always he snapped at you and didn’t want to talk about it.

Not only did he not want to talk about your feelings and problems, but he also never talked about his own. Obviously.

He didn’t even tell you what the fight with his manager was about. If you hadn’t pushed him so much to tell you why he was in a bad mood you wouldn’t even had known that he fought with his manager.

He never talked about anything that bothered and worried him. Never. He always said everything was fine - and at the same time his actions and words showed you that he wasn’t fine.

And as always, he regretted how he spoke to you and apologised.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to lash out at you. Let me make it up to you,” he had murmured against your neck as you tried to ignore him.

“Hm?” He left a trail of kisses all over your shoulder and neck, “I didn’t mean it. Please forgive me, my angel.”

His hands caressed your waist and stomach, “you’re my little angel, hm? C‘mon, let me apologise to you, princess.”

And as always, you also didn’t want to fight with him. You hated it.

Hence, you let him make it up. He kissed you and ‘made love to you’ as an apology.

As always.

It was a never ending circle. A new couples tradition since a few months now. ~

It felt like a barbed wire was tightly wrapped around your neck as you tried not to cry. But your eyes expressed everything that needed to be said. Disappointment, anger, heart-ache, desperation. Too bad that he wasn’t looking at you but was rather interested in chopping those carrots into thin slices.

The more seconds you held back your tears the more you felt like a wall was being built between you and the person you loved the most. How could your relationship develop like that?

You watched him for a few moments in complete silence. The way he was cutting the ingredients made it seem like he was in complete peace. That’s what he used to tell you - that cooking brought him peace and a chance to gather his thoughts in his hectic life. Or just to completely shut down from all his problems. Either way, it was his way of dealing with his emotions and troubles. A moment of peace and quiet.

It seems like that this also isn’t a good moment to talk to him about my feelings.

But then your eyes wandered up to his face. His eyebrows were furrowed angrily, his lips in a sulking pout and he was clenching his teeth which was evident because of his prominent jaw.

You quickly realised that he definitely was not coping well with whatever was going on in his head. Your heart clenched at the thought of your boyfriend struggling and keeping everything to himself.

“Babe?” You tried to catch his attention.

Nothing. He didn’t reply to you.

“Jay…” you took a step forward to him as his back was shown to you.

When you realised that he wasn’t going to give you a response you gently put your hand on his arm. He visibly tensed up at that.

“Jay, I-“

“What? What do you fucking want from me, y/n?” He muttered through gritted teeth.

“I just that-“

“What, y/n? What?!

That I’m making you sad because we never go out on dates?

That I’m neglecting you and you want me to be more present?

That I’m always working and never spending time with you?”

You took your hand away timidly - seemingly lost at words.

Jay scoffed as he continued, “I was already working when we two met, y/n! You knew what my profession was and you knew how much I needed to work!”

“Are you saying it’s my fault now?!” You shouted in disbelief.

He put the knife roughly away on the counter and turned around, just to shout angrily at your face: “Yes, y/n! You should’ve asked yourself whether you’re willing to make this sacrifice or not before you decided to date me! You should’ve thought about whether you could adjust to my lifestyle or not!”

“Are you fucking serious?! When we started dating you always had some time for me! I never thought of this because you didn’t give me a reason to see it as an obstacle!”

“Too bad, y/n! This world doesn’t resolve around you! I can’t manage everything like I did 2 fucking years ago!”

“But WHY??!! WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THE JAY YOU USED TO BE??!!!”

You gave up to fight against your tears and just sobbed loudly, holding your face in your trembling hands and letting them catch your tears. At this point your body was shaking like a leaf. You hiccuped, and cried and cried.

As you were still crying and sobbing you tried to calm down by taking deep breaths.

You straightened up your posture and looked him straight in the eyes, albeit you were still hiccuping and sniffling:

“You’re right. I- I made a stupid decision back then. Good thing we- we cleared this up.” You tried to sound as sternly as possible while tears were streaming down your face.

Jay continued to look at you in fury - or maybe it was confusion. You couldn’t tell the difference.

He shut his eyes in frustration and rolled his head back as he leaned back onto the edge of the kitchen counter - holding it with a firm grip.

“Baby- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so-“ just as he was about to apologise to you for the nth time because of the same thing, the same fight, the same topic, you quickly interrupted him:

“Save it. You don’t have to apologise when you clearly don’t want to change anything.” You made your way out of the kitchen and wiped away the tears on your cheeks. But the tears continued to pour down the same path you just cleaned up.

You quickly made your way to Jay’s room and grabbed your belongings.

Phone, wallet- you hiccuped - no, it’s in my purse. Where’s my purse?

Your sobs didn’t stop.

Where’s my fucking purse?

You spotted your jacket in Jay’s bed and turned around too quickly with it when you grabbed it.

Crash.

With wide shocked eyes you looked at the frame you accidentally knocked down and broke.

A frame which contained a picture of you two on a random date. One of the many dates you used to have. It was a cute picture. You thought you looked okey in it but Jay swore that your smile was prettiest he had ever seen so he had to frame it and put it on his side table.

~ “This way I will never forget your pretty smile and will remind myself to always make you smile like this.”

He explained to you with a shy smile and rubbed his neck in embarrassment when you spotted the frame in his room and asked him about it. ~

This fucking bastard! Fucking liar is he! I should sue him for all these lies!

You angrily started to gather the broken glass and put it in his bin. Not even in the angriest state you could just leave it like that - he could hurt himself.

You didn’t even think about it. You were just doing it.

Your vision was blurry because of your tears so it didn’t really surprise you when you cut yourself. And as fucked up as it sounded - the pain of the cut was more bearable than the pain in your heart.

Lastly, you put the photo in the bin and with that the promise ring you received from him on your two years anniversary. Which was not even too long ago.

Maybe you were overreacting. You still loved and respected him after all so much. So fucking much that you felt your heart shred apart in several pieces.

And you knew he felt the same towards you.

But you also knew that he was having some own problems and didn’t know how to handle them which resulted in him taking it out on you - unintentionally or not, you had enough with these fights.

Thus, you needed to take this step to make a change. Either for the better or the worse. You just really hoped for the better as you saw the ring laying safely in the corner of the bin.

Hopefully he’ll find it and come back to his senses.

You were a little hesitant to leave the ring there, scared he might throw away his trash and not notice it.

No, it’s okey. If we make up, we’ll do it quickly. He won’t empty his bin till then.

The ‘if’ in the sentence lingered longer in your mind than you would’ve liked.

You then quickly made your way into the bathroom which was directly connected to his room and washed your cut clean. After you wrapped some toilet paper around it as a quick solution you walked back into his room, holding your jacket in your other hand.

Surprisingly, you spotted Jay there. Kneeling in front of the bin, he (fortunately) held the ring and the photo in both of his hands.

And when he turned his head around, showcasing you his misty eyes, all you could see was a small, hurt child. A child who didn’t know what to do with these adult problems and responsibilities, who was overwhelmed and just wanted to be held, who wanted to cry without feeling bad about it, without worrying his loved ones.

He looked so vulnerable in that moment.

You hesitated a little - you wanted to wrap him in his arms and tell him that everything is going to be okay. But you knew this wasn’t the right move.

Then, without a word, you marched out of his room.

Jay was startled: “B-babe!”

He quickly stood up after hastily putting the picture on his bed and stuffed the ring securely in his pocket.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

Of course, you didn’t respond to him as you firmly went to the front door where your shoes were put right next to his larger ones. You quickly went on to put on your jacket when you remembered that your purse was in the living room.

Just as Jay was about to grasp your arm you quickly escaped his reach and walked back right past him as if he didn’t even exist.

When you entered the mess of a living room you thought how clean Jay’s room always was.

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about him!!

“Baby, hold on!” Before you could react he held your wrist firmly: “Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself with the frame?” He carefully examined your hand and noticed how the toilet paper was stained with blood.

“Wait a minute! I think Sunghoon has some bandage in his room!” He spoke alertly as if you were in some kind of emergency.

Normally you would’ve giggled at his exaggeration but at this moment his reaction only made your eyes teary.

“Just wait a second, alright?” He put his hands on your shoulders and made you sit on the couch. Then he looked firmly in your eyes, assuring himself that you wouldn’t leave just like that.

But he was wrong. You can’t just wait and forget everything as if you never fought.

He’d come, patch you up, apologise to you and you’d forgive him because he means it. He truly does. But you wouldn’t talk about your issues. You’d just place a bandage on the wound instead of taking care and finding the cause of it.

When you heard him rummaging around in sunghoon’s room, you took your purse and went again to the front door. Just as you put on your shoes and were about to leave, you heard Jay:

“Don’t go.”

His voice was shaky and full of pain.

“You forgot your ring,” he spoke quietly, afraid to say the wrong thing.

We both know I didn’t forget it.

You didn’t say it out loud.

Instead, you reached for the doorknob when he repeated his plea:

“Please, y/n. Don’t leave me. I beg you.”

His words broke your heart. You took a deep breath as you tried to gather your thoughts.

“I think-“ you were interrupted with a slam in your face. Tuck. “Ah!”

“Y/N!” Jay exclaimed in horror as you dropped your bag and hold onto your nose in pain. He quickly pulled you into his arms.

“Oh my god! What happened?” Jake asked with a horrified expression.

“You slammed the door in my girlfriend’s face, you fucking idiot!” He gritted his teeth in anger.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, y/n!” Jake wanted to approach you to make sure you were okey but Jay wasn’t having any of it.

He quickly stepped in front of you as he still held you firmly. His back was now blocking Jake from stepping any closer to you. Like a shield protecting you from any danger.

“Stay away from her, bastard.” He gave Jake a glare.

“It was an accident!”

“I don’t fucking care. You hurt her. If you ever get near her I’ll fucking kill you.” He spat back and then turned back to you.

He softly and gently cradled your face: “Baby, let me see if you’re bleeding,” he requested with so much love and care - the complete opposite from how he talked with Jake just seconds ago.

You hesitantly pulled down your hands from your nose to show it to him. Jay exhaled in relief: “it’s not bleeding, don’t worry.” You wanted to point out that he was the one who shouldn’t worry, but then you remembered that you were still mad at him.

“I think you should lay down a bit.” Jake suggested carefully.

“Why don’t you just shut up, fucking bitch?”

“Jay!” You scolded lightly, “it was an accident, don’t be so harsh!” You unconsciously put your uninjured hand on his chest to calm him down.

“Oh? What happened? Why is Jay hyung calling you a bitch?”

“I opened the door when y/n was just about to leave and it hit her face on accident. He’s acting like I tried to kill her!”

Jungwon shook his head - he was disappointed but definitely not surprised and looked at you: “are you okey?”

You nodded your head and tried to give him a smile but the expression hurt more than you expected. “Ow!” You clasped your nose with your hands and closed your eyes as tears pricked up from the pain.

Jay quickly cradled your face in his hands again and brushed your cheeks with his thumbs, “baby…” he cooed in empathy.

“What happened?” You had to stifle a laugh when sunghoon and Riki entered the dorms and asked the same question in sync.

“Jake hyung hit y/n in the face with the door.” Jungwon answered casually as he handed Jay a cool pad.

“On accident!” Jake grasped his hair in disbelief.

Riki whistled: “That’s how people die, Hyung!” He knew what he was doing. Fuelling the fire intentionally so that Jay would rip apart Jake in pieces.

“Wow I can’t believe you’re still alive, Jakey. Y/n is his queen - if I were you I wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. He’ll definitely come for you!” Sunghoon joined the teasing.

But Jay wasn’t even listening to them. He was totally focused on carefully placing the ice pack on your nose. “Ouch!”

What a great day! Fight with boyfriend, injured hand and now this.

“I know, baby. Just a little more, okey? It will help soothe the pain.” He kissed your forehead, wishing he could take away your pain and to let you know he’s there for you. You held his hands, yet again completely unintentionally, as one was caressing your cheek and the other held the cool aid on your nose.

“Oh my god! Guys, you don’t know what just happened! The head manager was sooo pissed that Jay hyung skipped practice today but then, actually just now in the car, Heeseung hyung talked with Jiwoo Hyung about this whole dating ban-“

Sunoo began his loud chatter even before he entered the dorms since the front door was still widely open and he saw his members standing in the hallway.

Then he cut himself off when Jungwon gave him a stern look.

“What?”

He then looked at his surroundings only to realise that you were also there.

“Oh hi, y/n! You look so stunning today!”

The rest of the boys coughed awkwardly as they face palmed themselves.

You took away Jay’s hands from your face, but still hold onto them tightly, and softly greeted him back and thanked him.

What the hell was going on?

Dating ban? Skipped practice?

You had so many questions but you just stood there completely frozen. Then your world started spinning.

“I’m feeling dizzy…” you weakly informed Jay just in time before your vision turned black and you collapsed right in his embrace.

His arms are so nice and strong.

That was your last thought before you entered the world of unconsciousness.

—

“What if she’s really dead?” You heard a nervous voice.

“Don’t be stupid, hyung. She’s literally breathing as we talk, look at her chest moving.”

“I’m not looking at her chest! That’s the last thing I should be doing if I don’t want to die at Jay’s hand.”

“Why are you whispering his name?”

“Jungwon, please!” Jake gasped as if Jungwon’s question was absolutely absurd, “did you see how he looked at me?! I almost killed his girlfriend - if he hears me talking about him or y/n he’ll definitely end me.”

“That doesn’t even make sense… if he wanted to kill you he wouldn’t even allow you in the same room as her. And besides that, how on earth would he hear you?”

“I don’t know… he probably put a camera here to watch us. His obsession over y/n is a little concerning. But… hmmmm… now that you’re saying it… it is really weird. Why is he letting me stay near her…?

Oh my god! Maybe that’s just his psychotic game. He wants me to witness her death so I’ll live with this guilt forever. Wow, I have to leave this room quickly.” You heard the scratching of a chair.

“You’re not going anywhere, hyung!” Hit.

“Ouch! Don’t hit me there, my leg muscles are sore from practice.” He sulked childlike.

“Just sit down and wait until Jay hyung comes back.”

Where’s Jay?

“See, that’s what I mean! Isn’t it so weird that he went out himself and told us to watch over her?” Jake asked curiously.

“Definitely. Did you see his face when she fainted?I’ve never seen him like this. He froze just like that… he looked like he was about faint himself.”

“Right? And when he was in shock he was talking to himself something like ‘it’s my fault’.”

“Hm,” Jungwon hummed, “now that I think of it, it really gets weirder - usually he’s the proactive one. He’s always level headed and knows what to do. But back then we had to move him aside and handle the situation. He didn’t even move for a while.”

“Do you think they had a fight and that’s why he was so shocked? Like, why was she leaving the apartment in first place? He texted us that we should eat dinner outside because he’s cooking for her but did you see the kitchen? He didn’t even start cooking - his utensils and ingredients were laying around so randomly… like he got distracted or was interrupted.

This would also explain why he is making us sit here in case she wakes up - you know, so she wouldn’t be facing him first thing first. And it would also explain why he hadn’t knocked me out yet. He feels guilty.”

You could hear their tiny brains ratter as a moment of silence followed.

“Nah…”

“Nah!!!”

Both of them let out at the same time.

How can someone be so clever yet still so dumb?

Jay is only clever. He is really super smart.

Your heart melted at the thought of him.

“Oh my god! Are you seeing this? She’s smiling!”

You quickly made a neutral expression as you didn’t want to ‘wake up’ yet. You wanted to listen what they had to talk about. These gossiping aunts. And you wanted to wait for Jay.

“Hyung, now you’re just hallucinating. How can an unconscious person possibly be making any expressions?”

“I swear! She just made that smile! You know that smile whenever she looks at Jay!”

“Ohhh, you mean her ‘I’m so stupidly in love’ smile?” You felt your ears heat up in embarrassment.

“Yeah, yeah, that one!”

“Hm… maybe she’s dreaming about him.”

“Or about something that’s factually beautiful.”

Hey! You frowned internally. Jjongie is beautiful.

“Like a flower garden?”

“Or like rainbows and a sunny day.”

“Yeah, or maybe something cute like puppies.”

“Oh my god puppies! That’s so sweet, I wanna see them too.” You could hear Jake’s pout.

Then you heard a soft knock on the door.

Oh! Is that Jay? I should pretend that I just woke up when he comes in!

“I bought these flowers for y/n!” Sunoo exclaimed in excitement.

Oh… it’s just sunoo…

“Look hyung! I got this black plushy cat for y/n!”

And Riki…

Jungwon and Jake bursted out in laughter:

“BWHAAHAGAHAH- that looks exactly like jay hyung!”

“His angry eyebrows! They’re like Jay’s!”

“I’ll place it right next to her.”

Aww my baby Riki.

“And I’ll put these flowers on the nightstand then she’ll wake up to the sweet scent of them.”

Sunoo!!! He’s such a sweetheart, so cute.

“Hyung, you need to put them in water otherwise they’ll wilt too quickly.“

“Nah, she can do it herself when she wakes up. Ugh! How long is it going to take? I think I’ll watch the new episodes of our show so I can threaten her with spoilers and make her do my laundry.” He chuckled evilly.

Sunoo! You felt irritated.

“If she ever wakes up.” Jake corrected him in a matter-of-factly tone.

“What do you mean ‘if’?”

“There’s a high possibility that she’ll never wake up, Riki.” Jake muttered dramatically.

“What?” Stop scaring my son! Don’t worry, riki, I’ll wake up soon!

“Nice! I always wanted her beanies!”

Riki!! You tried to calm your anger down.

“Oh my god! You’re a genius! I’ll take her skincare!” You felt your blood pressure rise. Don’t you dare, Kim Sunoo!

Then you suddenly felt the weight of the mattress go down at the foot of the bed.

“She better not wake up anytime soon.” Sunoo mumbled as he put his legs under the blanket and made himself comfortable as he pulled most of the blanket towards himself.

“Hyung! Be careful!” - at least there’s one person in this room who’s worried about me - “Jay hyung will get mad when he sees you sitting there. He strictly forbid it.”

Right. Jungwon is not taking care of me. He’s following his Jay hyung’s instructions!

“Agghhh this is nice,” next you felt a heavy weight settle on your legs as Riki was laying horizontally on them.

Ugh, he’s so heavy.

“Hyung knows y/n likes us. We’ll just tell him she wouldn’t have liked it if he scolded us.”

Then he started to roll his back on your legs and used them as some kind of muscle roller.

“That’s right,” sunoo agreed with Riki.

After a few moments of silence - and after Riki moved around on your legs and ultimately decided to sit like Sunoo but on the other side (and stealing more of the blanket than he did) - you finally heard the door open again.

Jay!

“Oh you guys are back! Did you get everything for y/n?” Jungwon asked.

“Yeah, Jay went to her apartment on his own and got her necessities meanwhile me and Hoon went to a store.” You heard how Heeseung was placing multiple bags on the floor.

“Wow did you buy everything from the store?”

“Basically, yes. He gave us a list he quickly had written down during the car ride. That man knows his girl.” You heard Sunghoon and his rummaging to which you assumed that he also was setting some shopping bags on the ground.

Exactly, you agreed proudly.

“Or he didn’t know anything and just wrote everything down he once saw in a store.” You ‘accidentally’ kicked your feet and hoped you aimed any body part of Riki.

“Ouch! She kicked me!” Bingo.

But where is Jay?

“And where is he now?” Sunoo expressed the thought that clouded your mind.

After a few silent moments Heeseung sighed softly and finally spoke up: “In the car. He told us to take the stuff to his room and if she’s awake we should text him. He’s probably waiting in the car for the message.”

“I don’t know man. He was acting so weird. Like he was the one at fault. I mean I get it; to see your woman faint like this is probably not easy but… - i don’t know how to describe it- he just was out of it.”

Heeseung hummed in agreement to sunghoon’s observation.

My baby. Your heart broke at the thought of jay sitting alone in the car. What is he doing? He should sit next to you and wait until you woke up! Or even better! He should kiss you awake!

Just as you wanted to speak up you heard the door opening again and finally there was your boyfriend.

“She’s still not awake?” With panic in his voice he entered his room. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to you guys! I’m calling an ambulance.” He announced suddenly.

“Don’t call an ambulance! You have to kiss me awake, you moron!” You shouted in frustration as you suddenly sat up, startling everyone.

“Babe…” Jay’s shoulders visibly relaxed and his eyes were shaky as he looked at you with so much relief.

He quickly made his way towards you and sat on the bed right next to you. Then he pulled you carefully into his warm embrace and nestled his head on your shoulder.

“I was so scared, honey. Don’t ever do that again.” He said with a shaky voice and pulled you as close as possible. And then he started to cry. Loudly.

And of course hearing him cry made you also cry. So you cried just as loudly.

“Why weren’t you here, Jay?! Everyone was in this room except for you! I- I was waiting for you but you were the last person who came into this room!” You wailed as you gripped tightly onto Jay’s shirt.

Jay’s heart broke at this, nevertheless, he started to caress your hair in order to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, princess. I’m so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.” He whimpered as his tears didn’t seem to stop. “Just please don’t break up with me. I’ll do anything. But don’t leave me.”

“I don’t wanna leave you either, jay! But I can’t keep going on with these fights! You never tell me when something is wrong and you have no idea how devastating that is! It hurts so much knowing you’re in pain but not being able to help you or comfort you in any kind of way! Why even have a life partner if you don’t want to share your life with your partner?!”

“I’ll- I’ll tell you. Alright, princess? I’ll tell you every little thing from now on. Just promise me you’ll never scare me like this again.” He pulled away slightly and cradled your face in his hands to wipe away your tears with his thumbs.

“O-okey.” You sniffled and nodded a little as your tears were slowly but surely stopping.

You patted his cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt to clean up his wet face when you suddenly heard a light sniffle.

When you looked over your boyfriend’s shoulder you caught sight of sunoo trying to hold back his tears after seeing such an emotional, heart-wrenching and romantic scene in real life.

The realisation settled in that you and your boyfriend shared such an intimate and personal moment with his 6 fellow members. But when you looked around, anticipating teasings and laughter, you were met with nothing but compassion.

They all looked like they were trying to hold back their tears.

When you looked back at your boyfriend he was already looking at you with so much love and regret. He kissed your forehead: “I’m so glad you woke up.” he mumbled against it.

“Of course I would wake up, idiot!” You giggled a little and it immediately melted his heart.

Then you pouted sadly and hold your nose lightly: “It hurts.”

He widened his eyes in panic, “your nose? I swear to god I’ll kill Jake…” he mumbled under his breath while he examined your nose.

Jake gulped.

“It doesn’t look swollen… but we should go see a doctor, princess.” he firmly decided.

“No, jjongie. I just wanna lay down a bit. Can you get me the cooling aid, please?” Jay hesitated a little as he wanted you to visit the doctor nonetheless he didn’t want to argue with you: “Of course, honey. Lay down and rest, hm?”

“Can you lay down with me, please?”

Jay felt butterflies erupt in his stomach, “of course, my sweetheart.” Then he turned around to glare at Jake: “what are you doing, clown? Get her the ice pack, will you?”

“Y-yes, sir.” Jake sprang up from his chair.

“Jay, don’t be so mean to him. He didn’t do it on purpose.” You spoke softly as you patted his chest. Jay responded with a sulking grunt.

Then you looked at Riki and Sunoo who were still sitting on the bed at the other end with squinted eyes: “You should actually talk to them.”

Both of their eyes widened in a comical way.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Riki stuttered with fear loaded in his voice.

“We- we didn’t do anything wrong, hyung!” Sunoo stammered.

“What’s with them?” He looked over his shoulder and then back at you.

“Actually, they were so nice talking about how they got me gifts,” you looked around and found the plushy and the flowers they were talking about, “see, Jay? They took good care of me.”

“Really?” Jay inspected the plushy with suspicion and was surprised at his little brothers.

“Mhm, I heard something - I don’t if I understood it correctly - but something along the lines how they’ll buy me beanies or just in general some branded clothes and accessories and of course some skincare! Oh and how they’ll go to my apartment and clean it up for me. They even want to do my laundry!”

“Wow that really doesn’t sound like them,” jay chuckled but then turned around to look at them again. Just in time the two boys switched their facial expressions from unpleasant to happy ones.

“Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.”

They gave him a forced smile. Jay rose his eyebrow: “her apartment key is in my jacket pocket- you can go now and clean it up. I’ll join you.” They started to climb out of his bed whilst rolling their eyes secretly.

“No, jjongie! Let them do it!” You gave him your best puppy look. Sunoo rolled his eyes harder than before.

“But-“

“No buts! We still need to talk.” You gave him a stern look.

Jay looked at your cute expression and he’d be an idiot if he refused you. “Of course, my love,” he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Then just go and I’ll check tomor-“ he looked around and realised that everyone left already and that the cooling aid was laying on the ground at the swell of the door frame, “-row…”

“When did they even leave?” Jay mumbled as he stood up to pick up the cool pad and closed his door. After wrapping it up in a thin towel he went back to the bed where you were already laying and made some room for him. He joined you in the bed and gently laid pad on your nose. You sighed in relief: “This is nice…”

Jay kissed your forehead and cradled you in his other free arm, “come here,” he mumbled. You took the cool pad from his hand to press it on your own when you asked curiously: “what did you buy for me?”

“Oh, that?” He looked over his shoulder where the bags were, “just some stuff for my princess.” He cheekily answered. You swatted at his chest but he quickly caught your hand and pressed a kiss on the palm before resting it on his chest and pulling you closer. You felt him caressing your ring finger when you heard him shakily breathe in: “babe…?”

Hearing his serious tone you put the cool pad away and looked him in his eyes, you hummed: “yes, darling?”

He squeezed your hand lovingly as he felt his stomach churn anxiously: “Can you please wear the ring again? It feels heavy in my pocket.” And in his heart.

You smiled at him softly: “Of course, my love.”

Letting out a shaky breath, he speedily and clumsily pulled out the ring from his pocket and immediately slid it on your ring finger.

He lingered a kiss on it, “I’ll make sure you never take it off again. Only if I replace it with an engagement ring.”

You grinned widely as you felt a blush on your cheeks: “I’d love that actually.”

Jay leaned in to kiss you but you quickly blocked him by putting your hand in front of his lips. “Why?” He tilted his head and looked at you with sad eyes. You almost caved in.

“First talk, then kiss. We’re not doing any kind of lovemaking - and you know what I mean by that - until you explain to me what’s going on,” you declared sternly, “and until then I’m still mad at you and won’t speak to you otherwise.”

“Okey, okey. I’ll explain,” he replied to you swiftly and wrapped his arms securely around you as if to make sure you won’t go anywhere.

And then he started to explain. And you didn’t say anything until he was done.

——

“So, just because of Jungwon’s dating scandal your head manager banned everyone from dating?” You summed up the whole complicated tension in the company, which had been going on for a few months now. You tried to process the information. “I can’t even comprehend this. That’s so unfair.” Your heart felt heavy.

“I know…” he agreed with a sad tone.

“Now I can actually understand why you wouldn’t tell me this. If I were you I probably also wouldn’t have.”

He sighed with a heavy heart: “but still… I failed miserably at hiding it from you. I mean it totally affected my mood. I should’ve just talked with you about it.”

You patted his cheek: “It’s okey, honey. It’s now in the past. We’re letting this chapter of our relationship go and are looking forward, alright?”

He gave you a cute little nod but one look in his eyes told you everything. How much he regretted these fights and his harsh words to you. It was impossible to express it with words.

“Babe… why are you looking like a sad puppy? It’s okay every relationship has its ups and downs. That’s actually a good thing. That way you can see whether a relationship is healthy or not. Whether the two partners are aligned with each other or not. Look at us: we’re talking about it and are going through this together. The important thing is that we’re making progress together, right? And that we’re learning from our past mistakes together. It’s also a testament to our commitment.“

He responded again with a nod, not daring to speak up as he was too afraid he might break out in tears. You pouted at him and whispered, “give me a kiss.” Without a word he leaned into you and met his lips with yours. And only after a few moments you started to taste his salty tears. “Babe…” you parted your lips from his, just to peck them several times. “Don’t cry, my jjongie. Everything is alright. We’re okey, baby.”

“I almost lost you, y/n.”

“No, you didn’t, silly.“

He wiped his tears away and pouted a little: “you threw away your ring.”

“It was more of a symbolic gesture than anything else. You found it and we talked about everything, right?”

“What if I didn’t? What if I threw it away on accident?”

“Then we would’ve gotten a new one. But I knew you’d find it and we’d make up in time before you would even empty out your bin.”

“Don’t ever do that again.”

You kissed his sulking lips again, “okey, I won’t, you little baby.”

As you were sharing another sweet kiss his nose bumped against yours and normally you would’ve chucked at the ticklish feeling but, unfortunately, your nose was really sensitive as you let out a painful groan.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he looked at you concerned.

“It’s okey,” you grabbed the cool pad again and held it against it.

Jay rubbed your waist to give you some comfort as he mumbled: “I really wanna punch Jake in the face.” He squeezed his eyes shut to calm himself down when all of the sudden he sat up from his laying position. “Give me a minute. I’ll just do it now.”

“Jay-“

“No, you’re right.” He took a deep breath: “I’ll slam his face against the door.”

“Honey,” you stretched out your arm and put your hand on his back, “before you do that just listen to me. Think about it: this accident brought us back together.”

He turned around to give you a look, “you’re not being for real, are you?”

“I’m 100% sure we wouldn’t have talked for at least one whole week. But looked at us now,” you wiggled your hand clad with the ring in front of his face. Jay laid back down next to you, now a little more relaxed.

“Sometimes I don’t like how you only see the good even in the bad things.” He was laying on his back and didn’t look at you as he stared at the ceiling.

“Why?” You giggled, “isn’t that a good thing? To be optimistic.”

“It is, I guess. It’s one of your traits I love so much. But it also makes me realise that I’m not worthy of your love. That you’ll probably leave me someday because you found someone who matches you way better than I do. That’s why I also don’t like it. It’s like a reminder that I’m not good enough for you.” He whispered the last part as he wanted to avoid a crack in his voice.

“Jay…” you were lost at words. In your eyes Jay was the most confident person to ever exist. Never ever did it cross your mind that Jay could also be insecure about your relationship. Just like you felt sometimes.

“Oh Jay…” you repeated emphatically and scooted closer to him. “Come here.” You wrapped your arms around him and pulled his head towards your chest. He immediately responded by embracing your waist and nestled his face in the crook of your neck.

“This was really stupid of you, you know? You always tell me to not speak such nonsense when in reality you also have these thoughts of insecurities.

I need you to know that there’s no person on this earth that can handle me as well as you do. There’s no person who loves me like you do and you show it to me in the most special ways. I know there’s nobody else who knows me like you do. So don’t ever think this again, alright?”

Jay only tightened his embrace around you as a response.

“So what if we fought? It only grew us stronger and closer. I got to know you better through this. And you’re acting like I’m some saint who’s never done anything wrong in this entire relationship. I think you’re forgotten that I always snap at you when I’m overwhelmed in the slightest. Or when I get my period I’m always annoyed with you. Or when I’m sleep deprived. I could give you sooo many examples from our life that we’ve been sharing for quite awhile now. You can’t tell me that you forgot all these instances.”

“Hm, but it’s not the same…” he mumbled against your skin.

“How so?” You exclaimed in a high pitched tone, “just like you don’t care about my bad traits I also don’t! I feel the exact same way about you. Believe it or not!”

“Promise?” He rasped with a sleepy voice.

“Promise.” You sealed it with a kiss on his head.

“You know, about this picture I told you I liked it because of your smile, right?”

You hummed.

“That’s actually not the whole story. I love this picture so much because on this day I realised I wanted to marry you. That you were the one for me.”

Your eyes widened in surprise: “Really?” You asked yet again in a high pitched tone, which made him chuckle lightly.

“Really.”

“But it was taken not even 1 month into our relationship! How could you possibly know it back then?”

He looked up at you and brushed away a strand of hair behind your ear gently:

“I don’t know what happened that day, princess. I just realised that my feelings for you weren’t - and obviously still aren’t- for someone who I’m dating casually. When you greeted me that day with your usual beautiful smile I immediately knew it. That’s why I love this picture so much. It reflects not only my feelings for you but also the importance of your smile- your happiness to me.”

He sighed sadly, “that day I swore to myself to never be the reason of your tears. To shield you from any harm and pain that could potentially make you sad. And I miserably failed at that…” he blinked his eyes harshly to stop the tears.

Slap.

“Ouch!”

“Stop it, Park Jonseong!” You frowned angrily.

“You’re only a human. You didn’t fail at anything. Do you really think I’d be laying here with you if I thought that? You always take care of me. Even when we’re fighting! You literally skipped practice today to spend time with me. So don’t ever talk like this about yourself.”

“That slap hurt…” he mumbled as he held his cheek with his hand.

“Stop acting like a child.” You rolled your eyes but nonetheless you leaned in to kiss his cheek where you slapped him.

“Better?”

“Here also.” He pointed at his other cheek.

“I didn’t even touch that side.” You laughed at his silliness. Nevertheless, you pecked it.

“And here.” He pointed at his nose.

“Mwuah.” You smooched his nose.

“And here also.” This time he laid his finger on his lip.

“Oh now you’re getting bold.”

“I was born bold.” He clasped your face in his hands and gently pulled you in for soft kiss.

The kiss was interrupted by a giggle of yours which you unsuccessfully tried to stifle: “bold or bald?”

Jay rolled his eyes with a smile and leaned in yet again to kiss you: “oh just shut up…”

After this chaotic day you were sure of two things:

First, the next time you’re taking off your ring it will be because he’s giving you another one - this time a diamond ring.

Second, from now on, whenever you’re with him, you’ll never have to open a door yourself.

—————————————————————————

Comment and reblog! Appreciate likes but tumblr doesn’t.

Feedback etc. is highly appreciated.

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pitchsidestories · 2 days ago

Text

What do you fancy love ? II (Alexia Putellas x Jenni Hermoso x Reader)

romantic masterlist | platonic masterlist | word count: 1495

summary: Reader is just a girl who is sometimes insecure, but her girlfriends remind her how important she is to them. requested

author's note: Hi everyone, thank you anon for the request, and hopefully you and the other readers will like this little fanfic.🩷🩷

disclaimer: Everything in this fanfiction is purely fictional and nothing corresponds to reality. Slightly smutty ending.

You studied the photo on your phone closely. Tilting the device back and forth to avoid the glare on the screen and to find evidence of what you had told yourself over and over again in the past few days. It was Alexias’s post and naturally she looked stunning on it, smiling into the camera. Jenni was captured in side profile as she was turning towards you. She looked as cool as she always did. You were sandwiched between those two gorgeous women and the longer you stared at the photo, the less you felt like you fit in.

You couldn’t resist, your thumb instinctively clicked at the little speech bubble and the comment section opened. You already knew what was about to come.

Y/n just posted .. (let's pretend reader is Teresa in this picture)

User69: Are all three of them a thing?!

userloveswoso: no way. I mean Alexia and Jenni make sense but…

xXUserXx: yeah, they’re hot together but y/n kinda ruins it. Not sure what they want with her

You felt your stomach drop and your throat tighten immediately. While you continued to scroll through the comments, Alexias’s voice echoed through your shared flat: “Amor, where are you?”

The playful sing-song in felt completely out of place.

You cleared your throat and called: “In the bedroom!”

Instead of Alexia, Jenni shouted from the hallway: “Oh, I’m coming.”

You usually would have smiled about her eagerness to get into bed but right now, your eyes were still glued to that small screen in front of you.

Alexia groaned and scolded your girlfriend: “Jennifer, you can’t possibly always think of that one thing when you hear someone say the word bedroom.”

“What can I say? I was conditioned like a Pavlovian dog.”, Jenni laughed.

You felt their presence before you actually saw them standing in the doorway.

“Hi, did you get everything at the supermarket?”, you asked, forcing your voice to sound as casual as possible without looking up at them.

From the corner of your eye, you caught your girlfriends exchanging a glance.

“So, we’re not doing it?”, Jenni asked jokingly.

“Doing what?” You finally looked up at them and upon seeing Jennis’s smirk, you added: “Oh, you’re sure you don’t want to do it without me?”

Alexia frowned at you, her eyebrows knotting together in concern: “Okay, something is wrong. Tell us what’s going through your pretty head.”

“Pretty? Me?”, you repeated as she sat down on the bed next to you.

“Of course, you, you idiot.”, Jenni grinned from where she was leaning against the wall.

In contrast to hers, Alexias’s face was serious: “You act like we never say that to you.”

“The people seem to disagree.”, you said plainly and handed her your phone with a heavy heart. Jenni came over, leaning over Alexias’s shoulder as they both read through the comments.

The midfielder shook her head in disbelief. She was hurting for you as she saw what random people, complete strangers had to say about you and your relationship with them.:” Why would they say that?”

“Maybe they’re right.”, you whispered.

With a fierce passion Jenni disagreed:” No, those hiding behind their screens are wrong.”

Alexia said your name softly.

You almost couldn’t bring yourself to look in her beautiful hazel eyes. “Hm?”

“Don’t listen to them.”, she gently replied.

In your mind's eye, the hateful comments from the internet jumped out at you, and you quietly admitted: “It’s not that easy.”

“You can’t possibly believe that shit.”, the striker waved her hands in outrage.

In a tone that did not tolerate any protest, Alexia commanded: “Put the phone away for the night.”

“But..”, you started.

The blonde was quick to interrupt you:” You heard me.”

“Yes, relax, babe.”, Jenni tried to calm you down.

However, your thoughts left you no peace: “I don’t want to relax.” You could feel the panic rising in you as you spoke.

“You should though.”, Alexia responded.

Despite the worried look on your girlfriend’s faces, you observed:” No one says those things about any of you.”

“That’s not true, but besides who cares what they think?”, the raven-haired woman countered.

“I care, Jenni!”, you cried out.

It was in this moment that your lovers realized that you were in your early twenties, your career was on the rise, you still needed to learn how to deal with all of that outside pressure which came with being a public person.

The midfielder hated to see you so sad: “Calm down.”

To her great surprise, you got out of bed and announced: ”I’ll go for a walk.”

“Do you want us to join you or..?”, Alexia asked, sounding cautious.

Purposefully, you put on your shoes. You didn't have to think long about your answer to her question: ”No.”

As soon as you were on your way out, the door was just closing, the blonde let herself fall onto the bed with a tired sigh.

“Jenni, what do we do with her?”, her eyes wandered expectantly to her girlfriend who lay next to her.

Without giving it much thought, the older of the two suggested: “We have to show her that we know better than the stupid comments.”

“How?”

A dirty smile appeared on Jennis lips: “Well.”

“What if she’s not in the mood?”, Alexia objected.

The dark-haired woman began to stare at the ceiling, confessing with a wry smile: “Then I’m out of ideas.”

“Okay, we’ll try that.”, the midfielder decided.

A surprised laugh escaped Jenni's mouth: “Really?”

“Yes.”, she confirmed in a matter-of-factly tone.

It was early evening and there was a light breeze coming in from the sea that ran through your hair. The sunset was reflected in the water, which you could see from afar.

At the beginning of your walk, the anxiety weighed heavily on your young shoulders, but now that you were almost home again, you felt the weight lighten. The peace and beauty of the moment outweighed and calmed your inner turmoil.

“I’m back.”, you told your girlfriends once you stepped inside your shared appartement.

Again, it was Alexias voice floating over to you: “Come into the bedroom.”

“Uhm, okay.“, you said before you slipped out of your shoes and took a deep breath. You really didn’t feel like talking to your girlfriends again.

“Don’t let us wait.”, Jenni called too when you took too long to follow Alexias instruction.

You reluctantly did as you were told.

The bedroom looked a little different since you left it. There were candles burning everywhere and rose petals on bed. You had no idea from where they had appeared from. But most importantly, both of your girlfriends stood there in matching lingerie.

They looked incredibly hot but the sight of them like that was so surprising that it almost made you giggle: “Oh my god.”

Alexia reached out to you, gesturing to come closer: “Come here…”

“Seriously?”, you asked with a smile, still unsure if your eyes didn’t betray you.

Alexia nodded: “Yes, you know that I’m a serious person.”

“Hard to tell when you’re standing there in your underwear.”, you laughed.

Jenni, seemingly getting more and more impatient, walked over you with that typical mischievous smirk on her lips.

“Yes, and you, pretty girl, are still wearing way too many clothes.”, she grinned, her face close to yours. Skilfully, she slid her fingers under your sweater and started to lift fabric up.

“Excuse me? I didn’t say take them off.”, you protested jokingly.

Shrugging, Jenni pulled the shirt over your head: “No but I did.”

She immediately moved farther down, opening the button of your jeans.

Laughing, you pushed her away: “Stop.”

Alexia took Jennis spot right in front of you. Her thumb grazed over your cheek while she tenderly kissed your lips.

“Baby girl, do you still want us to stop?”

You blinked at her, your brain incapable of cooperating: “Uhm…”

None of your girlfriends moved until you gave them permission to keep going.

But you couldn’t resist, the desire was too strong.

You shook your head: “No.”

The smile Alexia and Jenni shared almost washed away the memory of these nasty comments again. They seemed genuinely happy that they were allowed to take care of you. You only realised that now. It wasn’t just about what you or anyone else thought. It was about what your girlfriends wanted. And they clearly wanted you.

Before you knew it, you laid on the bed in nothing but your underwear. Jennis fingers and Alexias lips were everywhere on your body. You loved it when they did that. It was almost like their playing styles on the pitch, complimenting and enhancing each other’s skills. There was no room for your own thoughts anymore. You were so absorbed in the action that you didn’t notice your phone sliding off the nightstand and landing under the bed. And if you had, you wouldn’t have cared. Their opinions were theirs, but your girlfriends made pretty clear that you belonged to them. That you were loved and desirable.

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digi-diareis · 2 days ago

Text

Teen MC snapping at Caleb

Context: Yk how when you're teenagers, guys think the only way to flirt with the person they like is by teasing them? Well, imagine if Caleb had an era like this until it went too far and mc finally snapped at him.

Beware: this is gonna be SO BAD. im not a writer at all and english isn't my first language either. its just that i've had this scenario in my head for a few days now and i needed it out of my system. Also, I decided to use they/them pronouns for mc. So its more inclusive that way and also bcs even I personally don't always refer to my mc as she/her. So yeah, for the bitches, bros and non binary hoes.

Imagine this, Caleb and you bantering like usual on your way home but you're having an off day which makes it easier for you to get pissed off and fed up with all the teasing. Unfortunately, Caleb doesn't notice this and keeps teasing you until you just snap.

So mc, exasperated, scoffs at him and turns around to leave with their arms folded across their chest and eyebrows scrunched so hard they almost look like a unibrow.

"I'm done talking you. Go find someone else to pick on, Caleb. I'm not in the mood."

Sensing the sudden shift of mood, Caleb is speechless for a bit and left floundering, looking for the right words to say. He thought this was just your usual banter so why were you suddenly taking the jokes seriously? Hell, he can't let you stay in a bad mood for the entire day because that means he's getting the silent treatment and he'd rather die (well not really but he almost feels like it) than have you completely ignore his entire existence. Again.

He approaches you slowly, using a gentle voice to not alarm you the same way one would with a hissing kitten.

"Pipsqueak? Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry... Tell me what it was and I promise I won't say it again. Don't be mad anymore, we don't want you to develop any more wrinkles, do we?"

And oh, the way you stiffened up, very much reminiscent of a stray cat on full alarm against anybody trying to steal its food. Caleb gulps, knowing somewhere along the lines, he triggered a tripwire and a bomb's about to blow.

"Uhm! You know what, nevermind me! How about we go buy your favorite snack? Oh, what a coincidence your favorite stall is right around the corner-"

You turn around with a glare that makes him immediately shut up, looking like you're about to rip him a new one.

"WRINKLES?! First, you make fun of my height. Calling me pipsqueak around everyone and never shutting your damn mouth about how not a day has passed where I was taller than you. Then you start being weirdly aggressive towards my other guy friends, which by the way, what the fuck? Now most of them won't even talk to me anymore! What is your problem?! And now, you're calling me OLD and UGLY?!"

"I-I never said -"

"Shut your damn mouth and listen to me, Caleb! You have been getting on my nerves lately! I've been trying to convince myself that this is all just friendly banter but sometimes, you go too far that I don't even know if I can still laugh it off! We used to be best friends but now, its so easy for you to make fun of me. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this but oh my god, if you hate me this much then just stop hanging around me!"

Mc is heaving by the end of their entire speech, extremely worked up and upset that they're red in the face. They had been bottling this up for the past few weeks so letting it out almost felt cathartic.

Caleb is stuck in place, throat dry and mouth open but words won't come out. Was that how it's been like for you? Had he taken the jokes too far recently? Maybe it was wrong to listen to the other guys in his class who said that teens tend to fall for guys who act terrible, the bad boy stereotype is popular nowadays.

He looks down, feeling guilty and pathetic that he ended up making you feel like you hated him when you were the person who embodied everything he loved. You made him feel like flying and falling, all at the same time. So how could he hurt you like this? He had to make things right before it was too late.

"I'm sorry. Its all my fault. I shouldn't have said all those hurtful things to you, even if it was a joke or not. At the end of the day, they hurt you and that's not right. Please believe me when I say that I could never hate being around you. That couldn't be more wrong, not when all I ever want to do is be by your side. So please don't tell me to stop hanging around you, just thinking about it feels like my chest is being squeezed that it hurts. I promise I won't make the same mistakes again, so please forgive me?"

He's nervous, fiddling with his hands while he looks you in the eye. He reminds you of a wet puppy under the rain, begging you to bring him home with you. You knew the moment he pulled those puppy dog eyes that you would eventually lose, you could never say no to him. Not when you were kids and not now.

You sigh, shoulders slumping and the frown gone from your face. Now you just look tired, which only makes him more worried, maybe you're tired of him? No, that can't be. What would happen to him if you decide he's not worth keeping around anymore? He just might stop functioning all together.

You turn your back and start walking home, he feels his heart drop thinking this is it. You're leaving him behind– that is until you turn your head to the side, side eyeing him with a blush on your face.

"What're you standing there for, I thought you were going to buy me my favorite snack? Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not forgiving you just yet. Not until I've had my fill."

After that day, Caleb completely changes. Or maybe its more accurate to say he reverted back to how he used to be when you guys were kids. Doting, attentive and extremely supportive. He still banters with you from time to time but he never goes out of his way to start one. Although, there is one thing that doesn't change and that's how over protective he still is, he's still acting like a guard dog and being threatening towards all the guys in your class but at this point, you're just happy to have your best friend back again.

And just like that, Caleb's popularity spikes in your class because suddenly, every girl wants a guy who comes at their beck and call and attends to their needs. No more bad boy persona for them, they just want someone who worships the ground they walk on the same way Caleb does for you.

#lads caleb #love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #caleb x reader #l&ds caleb #l&ds imagine #love & deepspace #love & deepsace x reader #i #caleb x mc #caleb x you #they/them mc

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lotsofmilfs · 3 days ago

Text

How Many Secrets Can You Keep

Pairing : Professor!Agatha x Fem!Reader

Words : 4.5k

Warnings : Mention of Porn, face sitting, toy sucking, hair pulling, smoking (brief)

You're sitting across from Professor Harkness at the student-teacher mixer, the last one you'll ever attend. You had been in her class during your freshman year, and even now, years later, her words of praise still lingered in your mind. Late at night, when you were alone, they echoed in your head, fueling fantasies you barely allowed yourself to acknowledge. She had never really left you.

"You know," she muses, swirling the remnants of her drink, "you were always such a joy to have in my class."

Your fingers tighten around the cheap plastic cup, the punch sloshing slightly as the material crinkles under your grip. "Oh… thank you," you say, feeling the warmth creep up your neck. "I really loved the class."

Agatha hums, watching you with something unreadable in her expression. Then, her eyes darken, sweeping over you in a slow, deliberate motion. She shifts, crossing one leg over the other, sighing as if mildly bored—though the intensity in her gaze says otherwise.

"Also," she continues, her voice a sultry purr, "I have to admit, I’ve looked up your exact features when I’ve been alone."

Your brow furrows. "What?"

She smirks, leaning back in her chair, the picture of ease, though the tension crackling in the space between you is anything but. "And no one… quite fits the bill," she muses. "They’re not needy enough. Not as desperate for approval in the way my favorite student was."

Your breath catches. There’s no misinterpreting her words, no mistaking the low, knowing lilt in her voice. Heat pools in your stomach, your mind scrambling to process what she’s implying.

"I—" you start, but she interrupts with a quiet chuckle.

"Tell me," she murmurs, tilting her head, "did you think about me, even after you left my class? Did you let my words keep you warm at night?"

Your face burns, the air between you thick with something dangerous, something exhilarating. Agatha watches you like a cat with a trapped mouse, waiting, seemingly devouring your reaction.

Your breath comes a little quicker now, the warmth creeping down your neck, settling low in your stomach. You can’t meet her eyes—not directly, not with the way she’s looking at you, like she already knows the answer to the question she just asked.

Agatha hums again, and you hear the slow, deliberate tapping of her nails against her cup. "Oh, sweetheart," she sighs, amused. "You don’t even have to say it. I can see it all over your face."

You swallow hard, gripping the plastic cup like it’s your only tether to reality. "That’s not—I mean, I don’t—"

She tilts her head, watching you flounder. Then she leans forward, elbows resting on the table, voice dipping just for you. "You were always so easy to read. It was adorable, really."

Your pulse thrums in your ears, your thighs clenching under the weight of her words. She knows. She’s always known.

She smirks, like she’s enjoying your torment “Did you think I never noticed? The way you used to stare? The way your breath hitched when I praised you in front of the class?" She tsks, shaking her head. "Poor thing. You must’ve been so frustrated."

You exhale sharply, shifting in your seat, trying to find something—anything—to say. But Agatha gives you no room to recover.

"Did you touch yourself to the thought of me?" she asks again, this time more bluntly, her voice feather light but razor sharp. "Let me guess… my voice? My hands?" She watches your throat bob as you swallow. "Or was it the way I used to lean over your desk, close enough that you could smell my perfume?"

Your fingers dig into your cup, the plastic nearly collapsing under your grip. She’s relentless. Unforgiving. And worst of all—you don’t want her to stop.

Agatha smiles, slow and knowing. "I bet you still do," she whispers, and God, you hate how easily she unravels you. "Don’t you?"

Your breath shudders as you exhale, fingers twitching. You should deny it. You should laugh, shake your head, pretend like she’s wrong like she doesn’t have you pinned under her gaze, exposed and unraveling by the second.

But you don’t. Because she isn’t wrong. And the slow, victorious curl of her lips tells you she already knows your answer.

"That's what I thought," Agatha murmurs, tilting her head like she’s studying something fragile, something delicate—something she wants to break apart just to see how it looks in pieces.

Your thighs clench again beneath the table, your whole body betraying you. The room hums with low conversation, laughter from students and professors alike, but it all feels miles away, like nothing else exists except this. Her. The space between you, crackling like a lit fuse.

"You know," she continues, tone almost thoughtful, "it’s funny. All these years, and you still look at me the same way you did back then." She leans in just enough for you to catch the faintest hint of her perfume, something warm and sharp all at once. "Like you’d do anything I asked."

Your breath catches once more, could you have an asthma attack from shock? All she does is smile. God, she’s enjoying this.

"You want me to tell you what to do, don’t you?" she muses, tapping a nail against the rim of her cup. "Just like before."

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. But your body betrays you, your lips parting, something helpless and wanting caught in your throat.

Agatha watches the struggle flicker across your face, then sighs, shaking her head like she’s disappointed—but her smirk says otherwise. "Finish your drink, sweetheart," she says, voice like silk, like a command wrapped in velvet. "Then meet me outside."

Your stomach flips.

She stands, adjusting the sleeves of her blouse like she didn’t just dismantle you piece by piece, like she isn’t leaving you breathless in her wake. Then, just before she turns, she leans down, her breath warm against your ear.

"And don’t make me wait."

Then she’s gone.

Your hands are trembling as you drain the last of the punch, the artificial sweetness clinging to your tongue, but it’s not the drink making your head swim. It’s her.

You shouldn’t go. You know you shouldn’t. But you will. You always do.

Discarding the cup, you push back from the table, your legs unsteady as you weave through the crowded room. Conversations blur into meaningless noise, the bright fluorescent lights above suddenly too harsh, too real. But none of it matters—because outside, past those heavy doors, she’s waiting for you.

The cool night air bites at your skin when you step outside, but it does nothing to settle the heat simmering beneath it. You scan the dimly lit courtyard, your breath still uneven, pulse thrumming beneath your ribs—

And then you see her.

Agatha stands by one of the brick pillars, bathed in the amber glow of a flickering streetlamp. She’s lighting a cigarette, the flame briefly illuminating her face before she takes a slow, deliberate drag. She exhales, tilting her head back, looking every bit like a woman with all the time in the world.

And then her eyes find yours. A smirk tugs at her lips as she gestures with a tilt of her head. Come here.

You hesitate for half a second—half a second where you could turn back, where you could remind yourself of every reason why this is a bad idea. But then your feet are moving. You stop just short of her, your breath catching as she looks you over, exhaling another slow stream of smoke before she speaks.

"You always were such a good little thing," she muses, tapping ash onto the pavement. "Always so eager to please."

Your stomach tightens.

"Tell me," she continues, gaze heavy, deliberate, "are you still my good girl?"

The air stills between you. The words sink deep, curling around something inside you, something that’s been waiting, aching, desperate for her to say it. And when she steps closer—so close that the heat of her body seeps into yours—you know there’s only one answer.

"Yes."

The smirk on her lips is slow, satisfied. "Mmm. I thought so." Then, before you can take another breath, her fingers are curling beneath your chin, tilting your face up, her touch searing, intoxicating. Her other hand has abandoned the cigarette.

"Now," she purrs, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth, "why don’t you show me just how much you missed me?"

You nod gently and you lick your lips, leaning in just a bit more, her thumb lingers at the corner of your mouth, her breathing shallower now, the teasing smirk on her lips faltering for the first time.

She was always the one in control, always the one pulling the strings—but right now, standing so close she could feel the heat of your skin, the power was shifting.

Her fingers tighten under your chin, her pupils blown wide as she wets her lips, eyes flickering between yours and your mouth like she’s at war with herself.

"You have no idea," she murmurs, voice rougher now, like she’s forcing the words out before she loses her nerve. "No idea how long I’ve wanted to—"

But she doesn’t finish. Because she can’t. Because she’s already closing the distance, crashing her lips against yours in a way that’s nothing like the Agatha you remember—nothing slow, nothing teasing.

This is hunger. This is desperation.

Her hands are firm, almost rough as they frame your face, fingers sliding into your hair like she needs to hold you there, needs to feel you, needs proof that you’re real. She groans into your mouth—low, needy—like she’s been starving for this, for you, for longer than she’ll ever admit.

You barely have a second to breathe before she’s pressing deeper, her teeth grazing your bottom lip, her own lips parting like she wants to devour you.

And God, she’s needy.

She kisses you like she’s trying to make up for lost time, like every second without you was a second wasted. Her body presses closer, chest flush against yours, her breath ragged as her hands slide down, grasping, clutching at your waist like she’s afraid you’ll pull away.

But you don’t.

You couldn’t even if you wanted to.

Her nails dig in, her hips pressing forward in the faintest, instinctual movement, and when she pulls back just enough to drag in a breath, her forehead pressing against yours, she whimpers.

The sound alone nearly knocks the air from your lungs.

"Fuck," she exhales, breathless, her voice wrecked. "You’re—" She swallows hard, her hands still gripping you, grounding her, anchoring her in something real.

You don’t let her finish.

Instead, you crash forward, swallowing whatever she was about to say as you kiss her again—deeper this time, harder—because if she’s desperate, if she needs this, then so do you.

And from the way she moans into your mouth, trembling against you, you don’t think she’ll ever let you go.

You fist your hands into the lapels of her jacket, yanking her closer until there’s nothing between you but heat and shallow breaths. Your thigh slots between her legs, pressing just enough to make her gasp against your mouth.

Her breath stutters, her grip on you tightening, and you take the moment to tilt your head, brushing your lips over hers—soft, teasing, just to feel her tremble.

"You should take me home," you murmur, your words ghosting over her lips, your thigh pressing just a little harder.

Agatha shudders. A sharp inhale, a quiet curse under her breath.

As soon as you step foot into Agatha’s home, she’s on you.

The door barely clicks shut before she’s pushing you up against it, her hands gripping at your waist, your jacket, anything she can get her fingers on. Her mouth crashes against yours, all teeth and heat, nothing careful, nothing restrained. She’s starving for you.

Her hands roam—impatient, desperate—as she presses into you, hips slotting between your thighs. She groans, low and needy, as your fingers tangle in her hair, tugging just enough to make her whimper.

"Jesus Fucking Christ," she breathes against your lips, hands sliding under your shirt, soft palms against bare skin. "I—God, you don’t—"

"Don't what, Professor?" you husk out, your voice low, teasing, as your fingers find the hem of her blouse. You tug it up, pulling it free from where it’s neatly tucked into her trousers, your knuckles grazing the bare skin of her stomach.

Agatha shudders. Her breath stutters against your lips, her grip on your waist tightening like she’s trying to ground herself, trying to hold onto some semblance of control—but it’s slipping.

"You don’t—" she starts, but then your fingers splay across her stomach, pushing beneath the fabric, and whatever she was about to say dissolves into a sharp inhale. She swallows hard, her forehead pressing against yours, her breath ragged. "Fuck."

You smirk, slow and deliberate. "Didn’t catch that, Professor," you murmur, your nails scratching lightly against her skin. "You were saying?"

Agatha growls, something deep and guttural, and then suddenly you’re the one being pushed back, her body pressing into yours like she needs to consume you.

"You have no idea what you do to me," she rasps, her hands already tugging at your clothes, her lips dragging down the side of your throat, hot and desperate. "But you’re about to find out."

"Show me," you whisper, your voice barely a breath, laced with challenge, anticipation, and something darker, something you both can’t escape.

Agatha’s hands freeze for a split second, and in that pause, the air between you crackles, tense and thick with unspoken desires. Her breath is shallow, her body trembling with the weight of your words. Then, without another thought, she pulls you in, her lips crashing against yours in a fierce, hungry kiss that burns everything else away.

You’re first inside her bedroom, and agatha is holding your lower back with a firm hand, she sort of freezes and you’re wondering why before you see it. She left a toy on the bed. it’s purple, as big as two of your fingers. And there’s probably a button on it somewhere to turn it on. It’s laying on top of the rumpled duvet. “Naughty girl.” You tease before walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed before picking it up, it’s not been washed since earlier and you can tell because the cum that was on it has dried, and your eyes look up at her before you part your lips.

Agatha freezes, her breath hitching audibly, her entire body going rigid. Her eyes flick from the toy to your lips, back and forth, like she’s caught between wanting to stop you and being completely unable to.

Her jaw clenches, and when she finally speaks, her voice is lower, rougher—strained, like she’s barely keeping herself together. "What do you think you’re doing?" she asks, but there’s no real authority in it, no true reprimand. If anything, it sounds like she’s daring you to continue, like she wants to see just how far you’re willing to push her.

Her fingers twitch at her sides, and her breath is heavier now, her chest rising and falling in slow, measured movements—an attempt to control herself. But the way her pupils are blown wide, the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips? She’s already lost.

You move the toy upwards, “Did you do it right before the mixer?” You speak as if you’re discussing the weather and you lick the tip of the toy, a soft breath leaving your lungs. it’s dried, but agatha tastes so good

Agatha swallows thickly and you can hear it from where you’re sat on the bed.

Her fingers flex at her sides like she wants to reach for you, stop you—or maybe she just wants to steady herself, because her knees look moments away from giving out. Her breath is sharp, unsteady, her entire body frozen in place, locked in a war between restraint and pure, unfiltered desire.

Her eyes track every movement—how your tongue flicks over the toy, how your lips part around it just enough to tease. She swallows hard again, her throat working around it, and when she finally exhales, it’s shaky, almost desperate.

"You—" Her voice catches, and she has to force the next words out. "You have no idea what you're doing I think I need another fucking cigarette.."

But she’s wrong. Because from the way she’s gripping the doorframe now, like she needs to anchor herself, from the way her pupils are blown so wide there’s barely any color left—You know exactly what you’re doing to her

You slide the full length into your mouth, cleaning it with a happy moan in the back of your throat. Your eyes watch her the entire time as you do it

Agatha whimpers then The sound is quiet, almost choked, like it slipped out before she could stop it. Her grip on the doorframe tightens until her knuckles turn white, her chest rising and falling in sharp, uneven breaths.

Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, her eyes fixed on you—on the slow drag of the toy past your lips, on the way your throat hums with that pleased little moan. She looks utterly wrecked, torn between restraint and the overwhelming need to do something, anything.

"Fuck," she breathes, her voice wrecked, barely there.

She sways slightly, like she might move toward you, but she doesn’t—not yet. Instead, she watches, completely transfixed, her pupils swallowing the last hints of blue in her irises.

And when you finally pull it from your lips with a soft, satisfied sigh, your tongue flicking over the tip one last time—

She snaps. Agatha moves before she can even think.

One second, she’s frozen in place, barely breathing, and the next, she’s on you—crossing the room in a few quick strides, her hands gripping your face, your jaw, anything she can hold as she crashes her mouth against yours.

It’s not a kiss—it’s a claim.

She groans against your lips, deep and guttural, like she’s been starving for this, for you. Her fingers tangle into your hair, tugging just enough to make you gasp, and she takes full advantage—licking into your mouth, tasting herself on your tongue.

"You’re—" she pants between kisses, her breath ragged, desperate. "So—fucking—dirty."

But there’s no disapproval—just raw, unfiltered hunger.

Her hands are everywhere now—gripping your thighs, your waist, shoving you further up the bed as she follows, crawling over you like she won’t be satisfied until there’s nothing between you.

She pulls back just enough to look at you, her pupils blown, her lips red and kiss-bruised. And then, with a wicked smirk and a voice dripping with promise, she whispers—

"Let’s see if that mouth of yours is just as eager when it’s on me."

Agatha doesn’t give you time to respond. She grabs you, her fingers digging into your jaw as she kisses you again, hot and urgent, like she’s trying to drown in you. Her body presses into yours, her weight pushing you back against the mattress, her thigh slotting between yours in a way that makes you gasp. She grins against your mouth at that, a pleased little sound slipping from her throat as she rolls her hips forward—just enough to tease, to taunt.

"You wanted to put on a show, sweetheart?" she murmurs, her lips dragging along your jaw, down your throat. "Wanted to see how far you could push me?"

Her teeth graze your pulse point, and she bites. Not hard—just enough to make you feel it, enough to make you whimper beneath her. She soothes the mark immediately after, her tongue flicking over the skin before she pulls back to look at you.

And God, the way she looks at you. Like she’s about to ruin you.

Her hands move with purpose, slipping beneath your clothes, her fingers tracing fire along your skin. "You were so bold a minute ago," she taunts, tilting her head. "What happened, darling? Cat got your tongue?"

She leans in, lips brushing yours as she whispers, "Or are you just waiting for me to put it to better use?"

A slow, knowing smirk spreads across Agatha’s lips as she watches you—eyes dark, pupils blown wide with want. She knows she has you now, right where she wants you.

Her fingers trail lower, teasing, skimming over your heated skin as she presses her thigh just a little harder between yours, reveling in the way your breath stutters, in the way your body reacts to her.

"You were so eager to use that pretty mouth before," she purrs, tilting her head. "Go on."

She grips your chin, tilting your face up so you have no choice but to meet her gaze. "Show me just how much you missed me." She repeats the same exact phrase from earlier and it feels like an electroshock to your system.

Then, without another word, she shifts back onto her knees, watching you expectantly, her breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling with every shaky inhale.

The moment stretches, charged, waiting. And then you move. You grip her hips firmly, fingers digging into the fabric of her trousers as you murmur, "Take these off."

Your voice is low, commanding, and it sends a shiver down Agatha’s spine. She exhales sharply, eyes locked onto yours as she unbuttons them with deliberate slowness, like she wants to see you squirm.

The moment she slides them down and steps out of them, she’s back on you, straddling your lap, her heat pressing against your stomach. Your hands find her hips again, guiding her closer, your breath hitching as you take in the sight of her—her thighs trembling slightly, her black lace panties soaked.

A groan rumbles in your chest. You let your head fall back against the mattress, your grip tightening. "Now sit on my face."

Agatha stills for a beat, her breath uneven, her pupils blown wide. She licks her lips before smirking. .

"You’ve got such a filthy mouth," she muses, reaching down to run her fingers through your hair, tugging just enough to make you gasp.

And before you can even respond, she shifts, crawling forward, her knees bracketing your head, her thighs warm and soft as they cage you in.

"Be good for me, sweetheart," she breathes, voice wrecked, as she finally lowers herself onto your waiting mouth. Agatha shivers the moment your mouth meets her, a ragged gasp slipping from her lips as her fingers tighten in your hair.

"Fuck—"

Her thighs tense around your head, but she doesn’t pull away. No, she presses down, like she wants to drown in the heat of your tongue, like she can’t stand even an inch of distance between you.

You groan against her, the sound vibrating through her, and her hips stutter forward instinctively, grinding just a little as she chokes on a breath. Tasting Agatha on a toy was one thing, having it straight from the source was another.

"God—just like that," she pants, looking down at you with wild, half-lidded eyes. The sight alone nearly undoes her the way you’re staring up at her, desperate, hungry, needy to please her.

She grins, sharp and wrecked, dragging her nails lightly across your scalp as she rolls her hips, letting you guide her movements with the palms still pressed into her hips . "Such a good little thing for me," she breathes, her voice breaking on a moan. "So eager—so fucking perfect—"

She’s losing herself in you, the control she usually holds slipping with every flick of your tongue, every needy little sound you make beneath her.

And when you whimper against her, pulling her down even harder, she cracks.

"Fuck—" Her head falls back, her grip tightening, her body trembling as she grinds against your mouth, chasing the edge you’re so eagerly pushing her toward. "Don’t you dare stop—"

Agatha shakes above you, her thighs trembling as she grinds down harder, chasing the pleasure you’re so eagerly giving her. Her breath is ragged, breaking on every moan, every gasped-out curse.

"God—" she whimpers, her voice wrecked, "you’re— fuck, you’re gonna make me—"

Her nails scrape against your scalp as she tries to hold herself together, but she can’t. She’s unraveling, coming apart in your hands, and she likes it—likes the way you let her use you, the way you want this just as badly as she does.

She looks down at you, and fuck, the sight nearly finishes her off right then and there your blown-out eyes, your flushed cheeks, your tongue flicking just right against her.

"Don’t you fucking stop—" she gasps, her hips stuttering, desperate now.

And when you moan against her—when you pull her down even harder, like you want to drown in her and you start sucking and sucking.

She breaks.

Her whole body seizes up, her breath catching as pleasure slams through her. A sharp, choked moan rips from her throat, her thighs squeezing around you as she falls apart, shaking and whimpering above you.

"Fuck—fuck" she gasps, riding it out, riding your face, her entire body trembling as aftershocks ripple through her.

It takes her a moment to come back down, to breathe, to remember where she even is.

And when she finally looks down at you again, still trapped between her thighs, her release shining on your lips, your chin, your smug little expression—

Her breath hitches. And then she grins.

"Oh, sweetheart," she purrs, reaching down to cup your jaw, her thumb swiping across your slick-covered lips. "You did so perfect for me.”

You smile and it’s bright, “Thank you professor.”

You don’t miss the sharp intake of breath, nor the way her thighs clenched at the term.

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #agatha harkness x reader #agatha x reader

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vbecker10 · 3 days ago

Text

What Were You Going to Ask Me?

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Sam & Steve push Bucky to ask you out on a date but every time he tries to ask you, something or someone interrupts him. After several failed attempts to find out what Bucky needs to ask you, he acts as if he forgot his question when he mistakenly thinks you have a daughter and husband.

Sam rolls his eyes as he turns on the lights in the empty gym, "Okay seriously Buck, I'm tired of hearing about Y/N. Can you give it a rest for like ten minutes?"

"Why? What's wrong with Y/N?" Bucky asks defensively, following Sam over to the boxing area.

"Nothin'..." he explains with a sigh. "But you haven't stopped talking about her for a solid week."

"I don't talk about her that much," Bucky argues, folding his arms across his chest as he drops his gym bag at his feet.

"It's literally all the damn time," Sam insists. "I mean come on, I know how Y/N takes her coffee and her favorite pizza place-"

"It's good pizza," Bucky interrupts.

"That's not even close to my point," Sam opens his bag and digs around for what he needs.

"I hate to say it but Sam's right," Steve joins the conversation finally, putting his gym bag down at the end of a row of punching bags.

"Really man?" Sam asks as he takes offense to Steve's comment. "I'm right pretty often."

"Yeah, like when?" Bucky counters with a smirk.

"Stop it, we're getting off topic," Steve says in his Captain America tone before Sam can start an argument with Bucky. "Look Buck, we both know you like Y/N, it's painfully obvious."

Bucky kneels down and unzips his gym bag, pulling out a long wrap for his hand. Keeping his head down, he ignores Steve who continues to talk with Sam. He really thought he was hiding his growing feelings for you better than this. If his friends noticed, were you able to tell too? Maybe you did know and you didn't feel the same and that's why you never brought it up.

"Dude really?" Sam stands over the super soldier and finally gets his attention.

"What?" Bucky looks up then stands slowly.

"Would you please just ask her out already?" Sam asks desperately.

Before Bucky can explain all the reasons why that's a bad idea, his oldest friend puts his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly and looks him straight in the eyes. "If you don't ask her by the end of the day, I'm doing it for you," Steve says. "You're driving me nuts Bucky."

After training, Bucky goes back to his apartment to shower then heads straight for your office before he loses his nerve or worse... Steve makes good on his threat. He knocks on the door and waits anxiously on the other side.

You sigh, looking up from your screen as you pinch the bridge of your nose and close your eyes tightly. You had spent the last two hours training the new SHIELD intern but you have a feeling he didn't retain a single thing you told him. That better not be Josh with more questions already, you think.

"Come in," you call with as little annoyance in your voice as possible. Picking up your cup, you finish your second lukewarm coffee of the day as the door opens. "Oh, hi Bucky," you say cheerfully as soon as you see the super soldier walk into your office. He smiles at you and you immediately forget how aggravated you had been only seconds ago.

"Hey Y/N," he smiles back as he closes the door, his nervousness easing slightly by how excited you are to see him. He takes a seat across from you, his eyes leaving yours momentarily to take in the tall stack of case files and two empty coffee cups. "Busy day?"

"Always is," you shrug and you notice his smile fade slightly which is the last thing you want. You can't explain how much you love to see him happy, it gives you butterflies anytime he smiles, especially when you are the one who caused it to happen. "I always have time for you though. What can I help you with?" you ask. "I didn't think you had any up coming missions, did I miss one?"

"Uh, no. I actually have a question for you," Bucky replies. He shifts on the chair and runs his metal fingers through his hair.

"Oh, okay. What's-" you start to ask what he needs but your attention is pulled away from Bucky to your phone ringing. You groan when you see who it is, "Sorry, I need to get this, it's Agent Hill."

He nods and gets up to leave. "It'll just take a second, you can stay," you tell him but he's already out the door.

At lunch you decide to go looking for Bucky, still curious about what he wanted to ask you. You head up to the Avengers living quarters and make your way to the kitchen. He's standing with his back to you as he digs through the fridge for something to eat, when he turns and sees you behind him a smile spreads across his face.

"Hey," he says, carrying the ingredients for a sandwich over to the island.

"Hi again," you smile back and walk closer to him. "I was hoping I'd find you here." That was only a little lie, you knew you would find him here. Bucky always eats lunch in the kitchen unless he's on a mission or stuck in meetings.

"You were looking for me?" he asks as he assembles his lunch.

"Yeah, I was wondering what you wanted to ask me before," you explain.

"Oh, umm..." his cheeks redden and you can't help but wonder if he's blushing or if you're seeing things. "Well I was wondering if-"

Tony walks in and Bucky's mouth clamps shut tightly which only makes you more curious. "Hey," Tony greets you both as he makes his way to the fridge to grab a drink.

"Hi," you respond but keep your eyes on Bucky who suddenly seems overly focused on his lunch. He gathers the remaining ingredients and quickly puts them away. "Oh, did you still need to talk?" you ask Bucky, hoping he won't leave yet.

"Yeah, maybe later. I'll come by your office in a bit," he says without looking at you as he walks past Tony and heads towards his apartment with his plate.

"So that was weird even for him," Tony says when you two are alone.

"It was right?" you ask. You're tempted to follow him but before you can leave the kitchen your phone alerts you that you have a meeting starting in fifteen minutes. With a sigh, you head back to your office.

Two hours later, you've completely given up on the idea that Bucky will come visit your office and finally ask you his question. The fact that he didn't want to talk about it when Tony was there just makes you even more curious. It obviously doesn't have anything to do with work so what the heck is it?

You bite your lip and just as your mind begins to wander, your phone vibrates. The initial disappointment you feel when the call isn't from Bucky vanishes when you hear your sisters voice on the other end of the line.

You check your watch to make sure you're not late while the coffee maker works on your third cup of the day. You need to be down in the lobby in the next ten minutes or so.

"Hi Y/N," Bucky's voice fills the previously empty kitchen.

"Oh, hey," you give a small wave and your smile brightens when you see him, Steve and Sam. "I've got a few minutes until I need to do something, can we talk about whatever your question was?"

"You didn't ask yet?" Sam looks at Bucky as you reach for the sugar in the cabinet above you. Your back is turned to the trio so you miss the disappointed look Steve gives his friend but not the sound of Bucky smacking Sam's shoulder to quiet him.

You laugh, "I've been trying all day to find out what the heck he needs to ask me."

"Yeah, about that-" Bucky starts, shoving his hands deep in his pockets.

Your phone vibrates and you take it out to check the new message. "Sorry Bucky, I need to head to the lobby," you interrupt him.

"Right," he nods. "I'll uh... I'll ask you later."

"Come with me," you tell him. "You can ask me on the way. I'm dying of curiosity here."

He laughs nervously, "Yeah, sure." Steve pats his back hard as he walks past his friends and follows you.

The elevator is crowded with people leaving to go home for the day and you frown knowing Bucky won't even give you a hint as to what his question is. On a more positive note, the cramped elevator means your back is pressed against his chest for the duration of the ride down. This is as close to the super soldier as you've ever been, you've thought about giving him a hug once or twice before but you always held back.

Bucky closes his eyes, keeping his hands in his pockets to ensure he doesn't reach out without thinking to hold you tighter to his body. His mind wanders briefly as he wonders if you'd let out that adorable giggle of yours if he kissed your cheek or put his arms around you.

When the elevator reaches the lobby, you hear what sounds like Bucky sighing in relief behind you. You bite your lip at his reaction and take as big of a step away from him as you can while you wait for everyone else to get out.

Bucky follows you, curious about who you are meeting since he had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he forgot to ask. Maybe one of your friends? Hopefully not a boyfriend, you hadn't mentioned one but there was a lot he still didn't know about you. He stops walking and his heart sinks when a little girl runs over to you, hugging you tightly as you kneel down to greet her. You stand up, holding the child then walk a few steps closer to a man Bucky fears is your husband as he's obviously the girls father. He hands you a small backpack and kisses the little girls head which makes her giggle. The sound reminds Bucky of you and he does his best not to let his emotions show on his face as he watches you.

"Say bye to daddy," you tell the girl and she waves as he leaves through the front doors. You turn back to Bucky with a smile. "Ready to go back up?"

He doesn't answer, his mind swimming. He thought for sure you were flirting with him but maybe you were just being nice. Had he read the whole situation completely wrong?

"Bucky?" you ask to get his attention.

"Bucky," the girl repeats and giggles.

"Yes, that's Bucky," you put her backpack over your shoulder and wave at him. The little girl copies you.

Bucky wiggles his metal fingers as he waves back which you find far too adorable. His bright smile returns and he pushes the button for the elevator as he takes the pink unicorn bag from you. "Hi there, what's your name?" he asks.

"Lucy," she answers with a wide smile, showing off a missing front tooth.

"It's nice to meet you Lucy," Bucky tells her as you follow him onto the elevator.

"Okay, so what did you want to ask me?" you ask and laugh a little. "Sorry we keep getting distracted."

"Oh, I forgot what it was," he shrugs. "I guess it wasn't important."

"Seriously?" you ask not believing him. "All day I've been trying to figure out it and that's all I get?"

"Sorry," he responds, his eyes focus on the elevator buttons and he remains quiet until you reach the common floor.

"Oh my goodness, who is this?" Nat smiles when the three of you enter the kitchen. Sam and Steve sit across from her, their discussion about what to order for dinner coming to an abrupt end.

Lucy bites her lip, looking at all the new faces and turns in your arms, hiding herself against your shoulder. "Aww, are you feeling shy?" you say to her gently.

She nods and Bucky rubs her back slowly which takes you by surprise. Lucy looks up at him and he smirks, "Don't be shy, everyone's so excited to meet you. Want to show them your missing tooth?"

She giggles excitedly and smiles wide as she faces your friends, pointing to the little hole between her teeth.

"Wow," Sam says. "You get a dollar from the tooth fairy?"

Lucky nods quickly as you set her down now that she seems more relaxed.

"Y/N, she looks just like you," Nat states, looking from you to Lucy.

"Right?" you laugh. "I always thought that was funny cause my sister and I don't really look alike."

"My brother-in-law got called into work early and my sister got stuck in a late meeting so I told them I could watch her for a few hours," you explain.

Bucky nearly drops the backpack when he goes to place it on the island and the sudden slip doesn't go unnoticed by the spy or his friends. You, however, don't notice as your preoccupied watching Lucy wander over to Bucky.

"Wait, so she's not your daughter?" Steve asks, his tone a mix of confusion and surprise.

You laugh again, "What? No, I'm on aunt duty tonight." Looking around, you see Bucky's mouth hanging open and Sam shrugging at Steve. "Wait, did you guys really think I had a daughter I forget to tell you about?"

"No, of course not," Steve says quickly.

"Absolutely not," Sam says at the same time.

Bucky remains quiet but you see the smile return to his face and wonder if that's why he had been so awkward in the elevator. "The three of you are idiots," Nat shakes her head, voicing your thoughts perfectly.

"Well yeah, but I just thought..." Bucky's thought trails off when Lucy grabs onto his pants leg and tugs to get his attention. "Hi," he smiles down at her.

She giggles up at him and reaches her arms up, "Bucky."

"I don't mind," he smiles as he sways a bit back and forth. "I think someone is tired."

"You tired of me already?" you pretend to pout but it doesn't get her attention, she continues to smile up at him and he kneels down to be at eye level. "Oh I get it, you just want to tall, handsome, soldier to hold you?" You blush when you realize you said that last part outloud and you can tell by Nat's expression and the way Bucky's head snaps in your direction that they all heard it.

Bucky gently lifts her up with his right arm and she cuddles against his chest. "You don't have to..." you tell him.

"Are you ever going to tell me what you wanted to ask me?" you look up at him as the elevator doors close, leaving you alone and him with no way to escape the question that's been following you around all day.

"I-" you try to process a question that wasn't anywhere on your list of possible topics. He bites his lip as he watches your brain slowly catchup. "Yes! Yeah, yes I'd love to," you giggle and notice his smile returning but then yours fades. "Ooh no... I can't, I'm sorry."

"Now seems as good a time as any," he says with a nervous smile. He clears his throat, "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date this Friday?"

"What? No, I mean, yes I still really want to but just not this Friday. I promised I'd watch Lucy so my sister and her husband could go to a wedding," you explain quickly before he thinks you aren't interested in him.

His smile disappears completely, "It's okay, I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have asked."

He nods, putting his hands in his pockets. "Maybe next weekend?" he suggests with a shrug almost as if he's not sure he believes you.

"Or you could come over and help Friday?" you counter and he looks at you curiously. "Please? She already loves you and I get really bored after I put her to bed. I really want to spend more time with you. We could watch a movie or something."

"Sure," Bucky relaxes and you grin happily. "You think your sister will be okay if I come over?"

"I don't think she's going to mind an Avenger watching over her kid while she's out," you tell him.

"Fair point," he takes a step closer to you as the doors open. "Its not quite a date, but I'm looking forward to it."

"Bucky!" Lucy screams excitedly when your sister opens the door and sees you with the super soldier.

"Wow, I'm forgotten about already," you say trying to sound overly hurt when you close the front door.

"She's been talking about him coming over since you called," Rachel laughs and gives you a hug as Bucky picks up your niece.

"Can we braid your hair?" the little girl asks with a smile as she pulls his hair gently.

"Maybe," he says with a smile that very obviously means yes.

"Glitter?" Bucky repeats nervously and you giggle with your sister as she puts on her coat.

"Oh and decorate your arm?" she asks as she reaches to play with his metal fingers.

"You going to make his arm pretty?" you joke with your niece who takes your question very seriously.

She nods, "Glitter."

"No glitter," your brother-in-law thankfully steps into the conversation. "Be good for aunt Y/N and Bucky okay sweetheart? We'll be home before you wake up."

She nods quickly, "I'll be good daddy." Bucky sets her back down so she can hug both her parents goodbye.

He leans over to whisper to you, "If I see one piece of glitter, I'm picking the movie and what we're doing on our date tomorrow."

"That was the worst threat ever," you smile back at him as the front door closes. "So, where's the glitter Lucy?"

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💙💙 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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steddieas-shegoes · 3 days ago

Text

as the poets say

for @steddielovemonth inspired by the quote “he is half of my soul, as the poets say” from the song of Achilles by Madeline miller

rated m | 2589 words | cw: injury, hospitals | tags: angst with a happy ending, soulmate au, canon adjacent but diverged like two roads in a yellow wood, friends to lovers, first kiss

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍

He walks into the room, bleeding, crying, wishing that death would take him. He feels ripped apart, and maybe he is. The wounds he’s suffered externally are minor in comparison to the pain in his heart.

Steve can’t be found.

He’s gone.

Eddie failed him.

_______

It’s easy to lose your mind when you find your soulmate, to forget that the world continues to spin, that good things and bad luck continue to happen around you. The fullness of your heart clouds your brain, that’s what his mom always told him when he was young. She would know better than anyone.

When his Uncle Wayne took him in, he said the same thing. He’d never found his soulmate, had never felt the need to go looking.

If they’re out there, we’ll find each other.

Eddie didn’t want to find his. Not after what happened to his mom, not after seeing the faraway look in his uncle’s eyes when he saw two people holding hands or laughing together in public.

A soulmate would just cause heartbreak.

_______

Steve is easy to get along with. He joins the group despite Eddie’s hesitation, and he fits right in.

Gareth is the least enthused, but even he gives in when Steve bakes him his favorite cookies. It’s not a bribe. Allegedly.

Eddie is immediately drawn to him, but keeps his distance. He pretends that the effect he has on him is nothing more than an easy friendship.

It lasts roughly six weeks, three days, eight hours, and 52 seconds. 53 if you count how long it takes Steve to start kissing him back.

He realizes the moment their lips touch.

He almost backs away, but what good would that do? The damage is done.

Steve’s eyes blink open as they part.

“I knew it was you,” he whispers.

“I hoped it wasn’t you,” Eddie replies.

His words ruin what should be a joyous moment. Steve flinches, backing away as if he’s been burned.

Eddie regrets the words immediately, feels the ache he caused Steve like a wound in his chest.

“Oh,” Steve breathes out, looking lost. “Okay.”

“It’s-” Eddie tries to backtrack. “It’s not you.”

“No, right. It’s not you, it’s me. Got it.”

Eddie hates what he’s done, and the pull in his body is screaming at him to shut up, to take it all back, to apologize and kiss him again. Steve deserves better than this, better than him.

“No, it’s…that makes it sound like I’m brushing you off. I-”

“That’s kinda what you’re doing,” Steve interrupts. “And it’s fine. I get it. I’m not what you expected and no matter what I do to try to make you see me for who I actually am, you’re not gonna.”

Steve leaves and Eddie goes home.

He doesn’t tell Wayne about it, but it’s easy to hide shit from Wayne when he works so much. It’s even easier when all he does is lay in bed and cry into his pillow like the pathetic loser he knows he is.

Eventually, Wayne catches him hobbling to the bathroom with red, swollen eyes and hunched shoulders and he can’t keep it in.

“You go tell that boy you didn’t mean a damn thing and you’re sorry for turning him down,” Wayne says when Eddie explains. “You’re not gonna be a sad sack in my home for the next 50 years just because you’re scared of having a soulmate.”

“I’m not scared!” Eddie argues, but he knows he’s lying and he knows Wayne knows he’s lying.

“Ed,” Wayne sighs. “I know I’m a little to blame for this. I coulda told ya so much sooner about why I get so worked up about soulmates.”

“Yeah, you coulda,” Eddie crosses his arms defiantly, leaning back against the couch.

“Watch your mouth,” Wayne points at him, then rubs his hand over his face. “Your mom was the greatest person I ever met.”

“I know.”

Where is this going?

“Losing her is somethin’ I never recovered from.”

Wait…what?

“Me…either?” Eddie feels like he’s being tested on a subject he never took a class on all of a sudden, like the answers are obvious, but not to him.

“She was my soulmate and I was too late,” Wayne continues, dropping a bomb on Eddie’s lap with no instructions on how to defuse it. “She said we could lie and say you were mine and Al would never know, but I didn’t feel right doin’ that to him at the time. I’ve come to regret it.”

“You were…” Eddie stands, pacing the floor of the trailer. “You two were soulmates? Why would she stay with my dad if she belonged with you?”

Wayne gives him a sad smile. “Because she didn’t believe in soulmates before she met me. She’d been with a few guys in high school, and then stuck with Al for a bit before she met me. They’d broken up when we started talkin’, but she was already pregnant with you. Couldn’t do that to my brother no matter how shitty he turned out to be.”

“But,” Eddie opens and closes his mouth for a full minute as he realizes what Wayne’s saying. “But if you loved her and she loved you, and you were soulmates, something could’ve been figured out.”

“Maybe. Lookin’ back, I think we coulda done things different. But we made our choices then and I gotta live with ‘em now.” Wayne stands, puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Don’t live with the regrets I have just because you’re scared, son.”

_______

Eddie drives to Steve’s house, ready to apologize, but finds his eyes rolled back in his head, unresponsive.

He doesn’t run, but he wants to.

Something tells him to call Dustin, the freshman who gets on his nerves, but has looked up to him since the first day he joined Hellfire.

The next three days are chaos. Steve is barely present, headphones covering his ears as much as physically possible to keep this Vecna guy out of his head. Eddie doesn’t leave his side, can’t.

They don’t talk about the soulmate thing. There’s too much going on outside of that. It’s awkward, conversations between them stilted at best, but Steve accepts that Eddie isn’t leaving his side.

When Eddie is sitting across from Steve, watching as his eyes roll back in his head, waiting to be the distraction for Vecna so everyone else can kill him, it’s like his entire heart is outside his body, beating against the floor and the walls.

He’s not supposed to interfere unless he starts to float.

But even when he does, Eddie can’t do anything to stop it. He tries to sing, he tries to pull him back down, but it’s useless. Vecna’s going to win this battle, even if they do manage to win the war.

_______

The hospital is packed when he carries Steve into it, broken and bleeding, unconscious with the barest pulse to prove he’s still alive. Only one person is manning the front desk, turning people with minor illnesses and injuries away and telling them to come back tomorrow. The moment she catches Eddie holding Steve out of the corner of her eye, she pages a code and two nurses come running with a bed.

He sets Steve down and tries not to think that this will be the last time he touches him.

He promises himself that when Steve wakes up, when he makes it through this, he’s gonna make everything okay again.

_______

Steve doesn’t wake up.

The doctors don’t quite know why, but they also aren’t being given the entire story. They can’t have it until Owens shows up, and even then, it won’t be everything.

El got here four hours ago and hasn’t left Steve’s side, but she keeps giving weird grunts of frustration. Dustin didn’t tell him everything about El, but he knows she’s a government experiment with superpowers and if she’s frustrated, the situation isn’t great.

Dustin and Robin are inconsolable, and Eddie feels like he’s one more hour of unknown futures away from joining them.

He sneaks off to call Wayne to check in, let him know he’s alive. Wayne tells him not to leave Steve’s side, he’ll bring him clothes and food soon. Eddie tries to wash his hands and face, get rid of as much of the blood and dirt smudged on his skin, but realizes too late that it won’t matter.

Wayne will know he’s been hurt, too.

“He is gone,” El says quietly.

“What?” Eddie steps to the bed, checks the monitors still beeping to prove that Steve’s heart is still pumping and his lungs are still working. “He’s not gone.”

“He is not there,” she continues, tears gathering in her eyes. “I cannot hear him or see him. He is not in his mind.”

“What the hell does that even mean?” Eddie knows he sounds crazy, and this is a kid he’s talking to, but he’s confused as to how she can make that determination.

“El can see into people’s minds when she concentrates. It’s easier with people she knows, but she didn’t know Steve as well as some of us do, so it’s taken her a while to get in there,” Will explains. “If she can’t find him in his mind, Vecna may have gotten to him faster than we could save him.”

“But he’s right here!” Eddie yells, much too loud for the quiet in the room.

Robin is crying in the corner, too scared to be close to where Steve is practically lifeless in the bed. Dustin is shaking his head. The others are just staring at Steve as if they can blink and he’ll be awake and telling them all how they’re annoying the hell out of him.

“He is physically here, but he is not in his mind.”

She leaves. Mike and Will follow her, and everyone slowly leaves the room while Eddie just watches Steve breathing.

_______

El doesn’t come back. No one does for over a day.

Eddie sits.

He waits for any sign that El is wrong.

He tries not to blame himself, but he knows deep down if he hadn’t rejected Steve, if he hadn’t been so fucking scared, maybe he could have seen this coming sooner. Maybe he could’ve stopped it from happening at all.

Robin swings by the next day, says she begged her mom to bring her for hours. Her parents want to leave Hawkins, and she’s already said she’ll run away before she leaves Steve here alone.

He isn’t alone, but he knows what she means.

She must not know about the soulmate thing. She wouldn’t want to be near him at all if she knew about him breaking Steve’s heart into a million pieces.

Except she makes a comment a few hours later, after a nurse has stopped by to once again check on Steve’s vitals, about how lucky Steve is for having such a great real soulmate.

So she knows, but she must not know.

He’s gotta tell her.

“Robin, I-“

A few quick beeps interrupt him, followed by a sharp intake of breath, and then a choking sound.

Eddie jumps up and Robin rushes to press the call button. Steve’s eyes are open and he’s trying to claw at the tube down his throat. Eddie grabs them as gently as he can, whispering that it’s okay, the nurse will take care of it, he just has to wait a minute.

Steve’s eyes are wide with panic.

He’s squeezing Eddie’s hands with a surprising amount of strength for someone who was basically dead only a minute before.

Eddie cups his cheek, and he falls in love.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. They’re gonna help you. I’m glad you’re here,” Eddie says quietly while Robin decides to run to the hall to get help.

He feels it growing the longer he’s awake, the more they touch. The reason he didn’t accept El’s words was because Steve was still there, Eddie could feel half of his heart still beating in Steve’s chest and half of his soul still deeply intertwined in Steve’s.

Steve won’t let go of him, even when the nurses try to get him to so they can check him. Eddie apologizes to the nurse closest to him, and while she must be annoyed at the inconvenience, she gives him an understanding smile.

“I wouldn��t let go of mine either,” she whispers to him before turning back to Steve’s IV line in his arm.

Eddie doesn’t let go.

Doctors come and go. Steve can barely talk, but they expect him to gain his voice back within a day or two. They suggest he have honey sticks and ice chips to soothe his throat and prescribe a breathing treatment to help clear up anything in his chest. He’s told to take it easy and stay as horizontal as possible until they can get him in for more scans. They don’t want him to start bleeding anywhere before they can reassess wounds.

Most of his physical injuries are broken bones, and there’s nothing to do for them except wait for them to heal.

He may never walk again, at least not without help.

His vision is worse than after his third concussion, but they’re already planning on prescribing glasses for him.

Things aren’t great, but they’re moving forward.

Robin has to leave before she gets a chance to really talk to him, which Eddie is secretly grateful for. He wants to have a minute alone with him, even if all they do is sit in silence, holding hands.

Which is all they do for a while. The hospital is still packed full of people in surprisingly worse condition than Steve, and extremely understaffed, so they just enjoy the peace of the room while they can. Now that Steve’s awake, they may put someone else in here to free up a room.

Steve taps his wrist.

“Hm?” Eddie watches as Steve tries to speak.

“Okay?”

Eddie knows what he’s asking.

“Everyone’s fine. Just worried about you,” Eddie smiles, rubs his thumb along the back of Steve’s hand as he answers. “You got the worst of it.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault the evil mind wizard clockmaker decided to try to kill you one bone at a time, Stevie,” Eddie picks up his hand and kisses the back of his fingers. “But let’s try to avoid other evil mind wizard clockmakers in the future.”

Steve doesn’t quite laugh, but his smile is enough for Eddie.

He’s quiet for a bit, his eyes closing like he’s falling back asleep. It only makes Eddie a little nervous.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says when he thinks Steve did actually drift off. “I was scared. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

Steve smiles, but keeps his eyes closed. “Mhm.”

“And I will make it up to you in any way I can for as long as it takes. Even if that’s forever.”

“Mmm.”

“And I can’t tell if you wanna yell at me or not right now, but if you want to, you can. You should, actually. Wayne was way too nice to me when I told him.”

Steve opens one eye and raises a brow. How the hell is he doing that?

“Do you?”

Steve snorts and closes his eye, settling further into the pillow and squeezing Eddie’s hand.

It could be a yes or a no, but either way, Eddie’s fine with it.

His soulmate is alive and he’s not afraid anymore.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddie events #steddielovemonth #steve harrington x eddie munson #angst with a happy ending #Steve gets vecna’d #soulmate au

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cosmosluckycharms · 4 hours ago

Text

Bug like angel

You're here, that's the thing

You woke up the next day.

You were on the fancy velvet family couch you were never allowed on.

The couch was where every movie night, every game night, and every family hangout would happen.

The same ones you'd never be invited to.

You looked up to see Bruce and Miguel sitting in the pristine, white dining room arguing over something.

They lowkey looked like a divorced couple fighting over the ustody of their child.

You let out a giggle at that thought.

You got up and tried to stabilize yourself, still healing from the stab wound from yesterday.

You had a runny nose and a slight sore throat from the rain yesterday.

You hated your spidey luck sometimes.

As you got closer to Miguel and Bruce, you could make out some of their argument.

"She's staying with us, it's for the best," Bruce said, crossing his arms.

"Since when do you decide what's good for her?" Miguel argued, standing up from the seat he was sitting on.

"I am her father. I decide what's best for her," Bruce said, still keeping a straight face.

"you haven't been a father to her at all." Bruce flinched slightly at Miguel's words.

Miguel continued, "You were never her father. You were nothing but a sperm donor." Miguel put his hand on his hips, his bold red eyes piercing into Bruce's blue ones.

"When were you when she needed you? Where were you on her birthday? Where were you at her performances and concerts? You don't know anything about her." Miguel slammed the table in front of him, and Bruce's neutral facade faltered.

"I am still her father. we are blood." Bruce raised his voice.

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Miguel and Bruce were now full-on arguing.

A full-on screaming match.

You decided to intervene, you just wanted to go home.

"What's going on?" They both couldn't hear you, and you saw Miguel about to flip the expensive dining room table.

You weren't against him breaking anything Bruce owned, but that table cost way more than Miguel could afford.

You ran up to him "Hold on a minute, please won't you listen?"

They both stopped to look at you.

Bruce spoke up "Are you doing better now, sweetie?" You cringed at the nickname he gave you.

"I'm fine. What's going on?"

There was a tense silence for a moment.

"C'mon, spit it out. I wanna go home." You put your hands on your hips, copying Miguel's stance

"You're going to stay with us," Bruce said, his piercing blue eyes glaring at Miguel.

"What?! You can't do that! Dad, tell him he can't do that!" you pulled on Miguel's sleeve like a tall child

Miguel looked and you and looked away guiltily.

"Dad? What's going on? Tell him he can't force me to stay!" You were tearing up.

You didn't want to stay.

You didn't want to be back where everything went wrong.

You didn't want to see everyone play happy family while you sat in a corner sobbing.

"I'm sorry, but you're 16 and can't legally stay with me. I'm so sorry, arañanita." you tried to suppress your tears, only for them to all spill out when he hugged you.

You felt like a child.

"This isn't fair." your lip slightly trembled.

Bruce put a hand on your shoulder which made you flinch and push his hand away.

"Don't touch me." you shrunk into Miguel's arm more.

You hated being here. You just wanted to go home.

"Can't we agree on something else? Like maybe one week each person, or something?" you tried to reason

Bruce raised an eyebrow "What do you mean?"

"I mean like, one week with with Miggy and another with you. Wouldn't that be easier?"

Miguel was about to agree with you when Bruce interrupted "No."

"Why not? Everyone would be happy!" You tried to reason

"Because I'm your father and that's final."

You rolled your eyes at that.

"What?! That's so not fair!"

"life isn't fair." Bruce started practically pushing Miguel out the door.

You started clinging onto Miguel by his leg, you didn't want him to leave.

It took your father and your brothers to separate you and Miguel.As soon as Miguel left, you

ignored your family's offerings to hang out with them.

You were in your room, still sulking about what happened.

You were texting your friends everything.

You heard a knock at the door and tried to ignore it.

You weren't in the mood to talk to any of them.

After a couple of minutes of knocking, Bruce got impatient and let himself in."Why didn't you open the door?"

"I didn't feel like getting up." You kept texting your friends, not even looking at him.

He took a seat on the edge of your bed. "Look, since you're already here, why not go out? We could go to that one, uh, museum you wanted to go to a while ago." You glared at him.

"I asked to go there years ago. My friends already took me there."

"Oh, is there any other place you'd like to go? or anything you'd like to do?"

"I want you to go away. I'm sick and you just pulled me away from my friends." You kept scrolling on your phone

Bruce sighed and left your room.

Next to annoy you was Dick.

You were in the kitchen trying to get a snack when you heard his agitating, grating voice.

"Hey, baby bird!" He was going to ruffle your hair, but you swiftly avoided it due to your spidey senses.

"Don't call me that." You continued to look for your favorite snack.

"Why not?" he playfully pouted

You started giving up hope on finding the snack, it wasn't anywhere! "Because I said so."

He saw you were struggling to find something. "What are you looking for?"

"Nunya." you crossed your arms and started looking in the fridge.

"look, if you're hungry, we can go to that one restaurant you wanted to go to! How does that sound?" he smiled.

"I asked for that years ago. I already went there with Miguel anyway." You walked away into your room not caring how dick was slightly frowning.

You were in your room fixing your belongings.

If you're going to be forced to live here up till you're 18, you might as well make everything look nice.

While you were organizing your closet, your spidey senses went off.

You turned around to see it was warning you about the door, and suddenly Jason barged in.

"Get ready, I'm gonna teach you how to ride a motorcycle."

"No thanks, Jess already taught me." You continued to fold the clothes

"Who's Jess?" Jason raised an eyebrow

"A friend. Look, can you just leave me alone? I want some alone time."

"I'm your older brother, you can't kick me out of your room." He crossed his arms.

"Except I can. Get out." You started pushing him out of your room, your strength surprising him.

Tim was in his room when he remembered about that one time you asked him if he could fix your computer.

You accidentally gave it a virus downloading Sims mods, and it was tweaking.

Tim was the most tech-savvy person you knew, so you asked him.

Unfortunately for you, he was working on a tiring case.

He was in a bad mood and half-asleep, so it wasn't a surprise when he yelled at you to go away.

Sure, it had been 2 years since then, but he still felt bad.

He made his way to your room, noticing how separated it was from the others.

When he got to your room and opened your door (you seriously need to get a lock) he saw you were face timing one of your friends and laughing.

He cleared his throat and your smile fell.

"I'll call you back later, bye Pavi!" you hung up and looked at Tim "What do you want?"

He smirked "Wow, so hostile. Do you still need me to fix your computer? I have time now.

"You rolled your eyes. "it's fine now, peni fixed it for me."

"Are you sure? I could probably add an upgrade or two, or maybe get you a new one?" He put his hand on his neck

"Yes I'm sure, you can leave now." You shooed him away with your hands and started calling Pavitr again.

Tim scoffed and walked away.

Last but not least, Damian.

He was always a headache.

Ever since you were younger, it's like he was out to get you.

He wouldn't ignore you or push you away like the others, instead, he would threaten and berate you.

No matter how much you tried, he'd always go out of his way to push you around.

You learned to stay out of his way.

You assumed he would still hate you, so you continued to avoid him.

It was surprising when he walked up to your room and demanded you to watch him train.

Not wanting to get stabbed by him, you begrudgingly agreed.

You were being escorted into the training room and saw a chance to practice your moves.

While he wasn't looking, you snuck away to practice your tricks.

It was the perfect place to do it as well, huge gymnastics area, rock climbing walls, and hurdles.

You were having the time of your life!

After around 10 minutes you noticed Damian looking for you, with Dick helping him.

You sighed and continued practicing.

Your way of swinging and moving was Heavily inspired by Gwen and Pavitr's, all the spider kids trained together so it wasn't much of a surprise.

After training for a couple more minutes, you noticed Dick and Damian had found you.

Dick was surprised you knew how to be that flexible and have a lot of movement and personality in your tricks.

As soon as you sat down to take a water break, Dick and Damian ran up to you.

"Where did you learn how to move like that? did you do gymnastics?" Dick sat down next to you, only for you to scoot away.

"No. I learned from Pavi." You took another sip of your water

"Was he the one who came to the manor last year? The punk?" He took a sip of his water

"No, that's Hobie." you got up and walked away, ignoring Dicks other questions.

Dick just sighed in defeat and watched as Damian ran after you.

Damian would not leave you alone.

The whole way to your room, he was complaining and berating you.You tried slamming your door in his face, but he fought back.

Suddenly you were trying to push him out of your room like the others and he pushed a bag of yours onto the floor.

After a couple of minutes of you both tumbling around, he finally left.

You let out a sigh of relief and went to pick up the bag.

Once you picked it up you noticed it felt a slight bit heavier, less empty.

You grabbed what was making it so heavy and noticed it was a watch.

The watch you needed to move universes.

Miguel must've snuck it in there while dropping you off.

You put it on, and right as you were about to go back to Miguel's universe, your spidey senses went off yet again.

You quickly turned off the watch and pretended you were playing on your phone again.

This time it was Alfred.

You assumed he was going to scold you for fighting Damian yet again.

You prepared yourself only to be met with something you didn't expect.

"The others are expecting your presence in the theater room."

Movie nights.

The same movie nights you longed to be a part of years ago.

This time, you didn't want to be part of it.

"No thanks, I'm busy." You continued to scroll on your phone.

"You must've misheard me. They're requiring your presence." Alfred walked away before you could argue.

You sighed and put on some slippers.

This was gonna be a long two years.

hi ik rhis chapter is sloppy and rushes BUT THIS TIME I ACTUALLY HAVE EN EXCUSE

i typed all od this at a wedding lmfao

yeah rheyre mareying the love of their life but im updating a fic so whos really winning

anyway

taglist(please lmk if i forgot you!): @bath1lda @mariadvorak @coralaura @tsxukikami @hjgdhghoe @coffeeaddictxd @cxcilla @kaitense1 @star-girl-interlud3 @sukaretto-n @welpthisisboring @itsberrydreemurstuff @lovebug-apple @crazycaoticsimp @bellethesleepypotato @blackhood1229 @jsprien213 @sirenetheblogger @awawage @holybatflapexpert @vanessa-boo @ryuushou @whiskeygirl7 @seemeee3 @inojinieeee @oliviaewl @djpuppy-kittens @w31rd3rg1rl @br33zy-blizzardz @eyeless-kun @strangelymid @twismare @cat-lover-over-9000 @jaemindontberude @galaxypurplerose @paastaboi @senhoritaapple @whiskeygirl7 @chezze-its

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nottsamor · 1 day ago

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crawling back to you / theo nott

summary : theo knew you'd come crawling back to him, and it was apparent by the way he had you in his bed, a room away from your boyfriend.

a/n : does like.. anyone wanna be friends.

"what's wrong? you were begging for this two months ago," theo said, feigning innocence as he pounded into your roughly, hands gripping onto your hips. tears ran down your cheeks, mascara streaming down your face. "i h—hate you.." you sniffled, but both of you knew that wasn't true.

your boyfriend was right outside the dorm, having drinks with his friends because of the party that was hosted in the slytherin common room, and he was probably looking for you too, but imagine the look on his face when he would realise his girlfriend was in her ex's bed, letting him have his way with her.

you cried out as he pounded into you deeper. you wanted to reach out to touch him, but you couldn't—not with the tie that theo had wrapped around your wrists, which forbade you from moving.

"mon amour, tell me, does he fuck you like this? does he make you come like i do?" he laughed out darkly. "i mean, come on. you're in my bed, with me, once again. has to speak for something, right?" the bastard uttered cockily. the worst part was that you couldn't even deny, because what he was saying was true. theo fucked you way better then your boyfriend did.

"j—just shut up already," you huffed, trying to sound tough. but you couldn't, not by the way your voice was wavering. theo smirked, one of his hands grabbing onto your chin roughly, making you look at him.

"your in my bed, sweetheart. im fucking you, im not that ass boyfriend of yours who you can order around, got it?" he let go of your chin roughly, leaving a slap on the side of your face. "dumb bitch.." he muttered under his breath, as he stopped moving inside you.

you immediately cried out, "d—don't stop, please.. teddy, i need you so bad.." you pouted, sniffling. this caused theo to regain the smirk on his face, grabbing onto your hips once again as he continued his actions.

you were so easy.. so damn easy to please. you were addicted to him, he knew you'd come crawling back to him if he asked. that's what made him like you.

#slytherin #slytherin boys #theo nott #theo nott smut #theodore nott #theodore nott blurb #theodore nott drabble #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x slytherin!reader

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darkmarkmarauder · 2 days ago

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Call me and I’ll come - S.S.

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x you

You should have known better by now.

Should’ve known that getting your feelings hurt was just part of the deal when it came to Sebastian Sallow.

Because he never promised you anything, did he? He never said he was yours, never whispered I love you when his hands were all over you, hot against your skin, when he fucked you like he actually meant it.

Sebastian Sallow was not a good person.

That was fine, though, because neither were you.

Whatever this was between you—this thing—that was built on the kind of pleasure that left bruises and bite marks and bad decisions. It was never meant to be sweet. Never meant to be kind.

And yet, there he was. Playing at chivalry, walking Poppy Sweeting back to her dorm like she was something to be protected. Like she hadn’t spent the past seven years getting under your skin, all sunshine smiles and Holier Than Thou bullshit.

You weren’t sure why you even followed them. Maybe it was the way Poppy's laugh rang through the corridor, soft and sweet, like she wasn’t the most insufferable person on the planet. Maybe it was the way Sebastian looked at her—really looked at her—as if she were saying something worth listening to. The thought made your stomach churn. You had him first. Had him beneath you, above you, inside you. You should’ve been the only thing occupying that wicked little mind of his.

But no. He was escorting her back to her fucking Hufflepuff common room like some noble gentleman. Heart-of-gold-ass-bitch. God, you hated her.

So you had a little fun.

Just a little.

Legilimency was easy when your target was oblivious. You slipped into her mind without so much as a whisper, poking at her thoughts, nudging her attention away from whatever painfully dull story she was telling him. Watching her stumble through sentences, lose her train of thought, look almost dizzy with confusion. Sebastian’s brows furrowed as she trailed off mid-sentence, blinking rapidly.

“You alright?” he asked, concern evident in his tone. That made your teeth grind. So concerned for little Miss Perfect.

Poppy nodded quickly, but she was uneasy now. You could feel her nerves, the confusion settling deep. You kept at it—poking, prying, twisting little intrusive thoughts through the cracks of her consciousness.

Poppy winced, pressing a hand to her temple. “I… I don’t know. I just feel a little—”

You rolled your eyes. Pathetic. You got bored of that real quick. Whispering under your breath you sent a nauseating little hex and she was doubled over, face paling, gagging.

Sebastian stepped back, startled. “Poppy?”

“Uh, I think—I think I need to go lie down,” she groaned, turning away hastily.

You strolled up behind Sebastian just as Poppy stumbled off, pouting mockingly. "Aw, hope she feels better."

You barely kept the smirk off your face as Poppy disappeared into her common room, her face pale as she clutched her stomach. Whatever. She’d be fine. Maybe next time, she’d learn not to bat her pretty little lashes at your Sebastian.

Not that he was yours.

Sebastian turned to you the moment she disappeared, a slow, disbelieving shake of his head. His lips twitched in amusement, but his eyes were anything but.

"Yeah, okay, princess, we’re really gonna pretend?"

You folded your arms, feigning innocence. "Not sure what you mean, Sallow."

"Cut the shit," he scoffed, stepping closer, the scent of fresh pine, something unmistakably him filling the space between you. "The second she started looking like she might kneel over, I knew you were up to something. And then—what? you just coincidentally show up the moment she leaves? Please."

You rolled your eyes. "Please," you mimicked, voice dripping with mockery. "What, am I not allowed to take a little evening stroll?"

Sebastian let out a sharp, humorless laugh. "Right. Because you, of all people, just love late-night walks around the Hufflepuff dorms. Admit it, you’re jealous."

That word. Jealous. You bristled at it, anger flashing hot through your veins.

"Of what, exactly?" You sneered. "Little Miss I-Save-Orphaned-Dragons? Please. You think I’m worried about you wasting your time with a boring little goody-two-shoes like her?"

His jaw tensed, and fuck, you loved getting under his skin.

"You’re so full of shit," he muttered, voice dropping an octave. "What was it? You didn’t like seeing me with her? Didn’t like the thought of me walking her back? Maybe—" he took another step closer, and you refused to move back, even as your breath caught in your throat— "maybe you didn’t like knowing she actually enjoys my company without having to spread her legs first."

The words hit like a slap. You felt them crack through your ribs, shatter through your lungs. But you weren’t about to let him see it.

"Wow," you let out a sharp laugh, masking the ache blooming in your chest. "That’s rich, coming from the guy who can’t seem to keep his hands off me."

Sebastian tilted his head, brown eyes dark and unreadable. "Yeah?" he mused, his tone almost taunting. "Maybe I should try. Since it’s not like you’re anything special."

You sucked in a sharp breath.

"Fuck you," you spat.

Sebastian smirked, slow and lazy, his words venomous. "You already did. And if I recall, you come crawling back every single time."

Your vision blurred red. Your nails dug into your palms, the sting barely grounding you. You wanted to hex him. Wanted to make him hurt the way his words made your chest feel like it was caving in.

But instead, you took a step back.

"Go fuck yourself, Sallow."

And then you turned on your heel walking away, fists clenched, heart pounding, body burning with fury and something you weren’t ready to name. Jealousy.

Behind you, Sebastian let out a sharp exhale.

"Unbelievable," he muttered, voice laced with something that almost sounded like regret.

You were drunk when you called him.

Drunk and pissed off and reckless.

You’d heard about it from Imelda—how Sebastian had actually taken Poppy on a date, how he’d sat with her at The Three Broomsticks, bought her a drink, showed her a good time. How they sat together at dinner.

You refused to look at him for the rest of the day. You ignored him in class, in the halls, in the library. You ignored him even when he tried to get your attention, knocking his knee against yours under the desk, whispering your name when the professor wasn’t looking. You ignored him all the way up until tonight.

Right up until the moment you floo-called him from your room.

The moment he picked up, his voice came through the flames, exasperated but familiar. “What do you want?”

“Come over.” You softly demanded.

He sighed. “I’m busy.”

You leaned in, let your voice drop lower, silkier. “Didn’t ask if you were busy, Sallow. I said come over.”

A pause. He wasn’t even pretending to think about it—the sound of him moving, the clink of his belt as he got dressed . “Give me ten.”

You grinned.

Of course he’d come. He always did.

It didn’t matter how much he flirted with Poppy, how much he tried to pretend there was something there. It didn’t matter if she was sweet and kind and everything you weren’t.

Because at the end of the day, when you called—he answered.

Always.

Not even a minute later, there he was, disheveled, eyes swirling with something that looked like relief. His shirt was wrinkled, his tie loosened like he had rushed here.

You smirked. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

He exhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair. “You’re such a fucking piece of work, you know that?”

You didn't bother responding as his dark eyes bore into yours. Tilting your head slightly, biting your lip before yanking him inside, fingers wrapped around this tie as the door slammed shut behind him.

Yeah. Poppy Sweeting didn't stand a fucking chance.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

a/n: raw, next question.

ᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴇʀ ᴄʀᴇᴅ: @ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ

MASTERLIST

#sebastian sallow x you #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #hogwarts legacy sebastian #poppy sweeting #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy oc

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toiletclown · 2 days ago

Text

reciprocation.

spencer agnew x f!reader, enemies to lovers for anon.

mostly fluff, but there is angst (in my opinion)

summary: it started innocuous. a well-meaning question from your best friend. it all spiraled from there.

there are some things in life that are universally true and agreed upon. the sky is blue. the grass is green. and you and spencer agnew hate each other. when your closest friends grow tired of this nonsense, they hatch a plan. it's unlikely, silly, even. but it works.

word count: 13.6k (yes i'm posting this as a one-shot, not multi-chaptered, sorry lol)

────୨ৎ────

"does the whole 'hating spencer' schtick ever get tired to you?" angela asked one day, while the two of you were out to lunch.

it was a sunny day, as usual, and you started sweating through your tank top just a little harder. perhaps the sun came out from behind a stray cloud.

"i'm sorry?" was your response, followed by a forkful of pasta.

"y'know, this weird bit you guys have going on." ang stared at you, analyzing your face, looking for a reaction.

all she saw was confusion. "i'm not... sure what you mean? we don't have 'a bit'. we aren't friends. kind of hard to have an inside joke when you only spend time together on camera. and half the time i drown him out anyway," you shrugged. neither of you liked each other, and that was fine. you were used to it, and the familiarity was nice. smosh was a very busy and ever-changing job. being able to rely on that was kind of nice. you were never a fan of change, anyway.

"wait, so you and spencer actually dislike each other? like, for real?" your best friend looked genuinely taken aback. you weren't sure why, you had thought it was fairly obvious that the two of you didn't get along.

"yes, we actually dislike each other 'like, for real', angela. i thought that was clear, you've seen the way we interact." you were gathering up another forkful of pasta, and angela started laughing. "why the fuck are you laughing?"

"because it's comical? i thought it was a bit! i thought you two were friends and it was just, like, a long, drawn-out joke, honestly."

"why on earth would you think that it was a bit, ang? i'm a good comedian but i'm not that great of a liar. i wouldn't be able to keep up a conspiracy like that. i fear that’s too much work for me." you ate your forkful finally. angela was still looking at you in disbelief, a few small cackles escaping her now and then.

"yeah, that's fair. crazy bit to commit so hard to, i guess. wait, so why don't you like him?" the brunette had abandoned her pasta at this point, bowl pushed slightly out of the way so she can gesticulate with freedom. "and why doesn't he like you? are you secretly middle school rivals? rivals in some niche video game scene? did he outbid you on a guitar on ebay and now you've vowed to ruin his life?"

you rolled your eyes, lovingly. your favorite thing about angela was how far she could take a joke. picked it up and ran with it. you leaned in, your voice barely audible. "you want to know a secret?"

her eyes widened, leaning in and matching your whisper, "yes, please spill!"

you shifted your eyes from left to right, as though looking for someone who could overhear and ruin your life. you took a deep breath in, preparing to spill… the truth.

"i don't actually know why we hate each other," you whispered, shrugging before sitting back in your chair with an air of finality.

"what?!"

"shh, oh my god, shut the fuck up--"

"what do you mean you don't know?" angela was moving her arms wildly at this point, "why do you still hate him then? does he know? what the fuck?"

"babe, i need you to calm down, we are still very much in a public restaurant--"

"and? spill, bitch, or you're paying the full bill."

"fine! god. i genuinely cannot tell you why we hate each other. yes, we do really hate each other. yes, he knows i hate him, and yes, i know he hates me. that has been the only thing we have ever agreed upon in our entire time at smosh. no, we aren't secretly hate fucking. no, i don't have his number, we only talk at and about work so we use slack. no, i don't know why the hate is mutual, i just know that it is. no, i don't plan on trying to change that any time soon. happy?"

before she could respond with what was likely another barrage of questions, your server came to the table and sat the bill down in front of angela.

"they always assume that i'm paying, what the hell?"

you were glad for the distraction.

✰ .ᐟ

"hello and welcome to you posted that? you posted that is a show where we embarrass our guests with their old, cringy, insane social media posts!" the room filled with cheers as ian intro'd the show, and you were so excited to finally be on it. but you also were nervous to see what they dug from the depths of your twitter.

"joining us today..." ian faked a drumroll on the podium, "our first guest is trevor evarts!"

"please don't bring up any of my rhett and link tweets," he said with a wave.

ian drumrolled again, "second up, we have shayne topp!"

"glad to be here, steve."

"and last but not least, y/n!"

"i am terrified." you said, being sure to stare down the camera, a look of anxiety on your face. you were playing it up, but it was definitely real to a degree. you had said a lot of cringy shit in your younger years. not to mention the not-so-uncommon complaints about a certain coworker. ian wouldn’t do that to you, though. right?

"terrified?” ian scanned the contestant's faces. “is anyone else feeling terrified?"

"not really, steve. i'm proud of what i've done and said and i'll stand by it no matter what. if i don't stand up for myself, who will, you know?" shayne said, clearly doing a character. a slightly intoxicated, far too excited game show contestant. you kind of loved it.

"my name is ian, and i think you know that, shayne. why are you terrified, y/n?" ian turned to you, egging you on.

"i was a shit head as a kid, i don't know how far back you dug!"

"alright then, let's get into the first round." ian explained the rules of the round, and each of you listened intently despite knowing them well.

"trevor. you tweeted, 'my two [blank] need to [blank] before i [blank blank blank].’ and i will give you a hint, this was a tweet from about a year ago."

"why does he get a hint right away!" you called out.

"he's not very bright, y/n, i'm sure you understand." ian replied, prompting trevor to make a few noises.

"be nice to me?"

ian turned back to trevor, mischievous glint in his eye. "y/n's not very bright, trev, i'm sure you understand."

"be nice to me?" you all started laughing, and once it died down trevor made his guess.

"okay, i'll take 'my two coworkers need to fuck before i explode them both' for five points, alex!"

"i remain ian, but let's reveal that tweet!"

"holy fuck," you said under your breath, realizing he got it right on the money. "how did you manage to remember the exact wording? i don't remember what i had for breakfast yesterday. oh my god, i'm gonna lose so hard at this!" you weren’t even playing it up now, you were actually getting worried. you were going to lose, and by a lot. hopefully you can attribute your lack of skill to the now-infamous gas leak.

"because these two coworkers still haven't fucked and i still want to explode them, honestly," trevor breathed out, seemingly annoyed at the two coworkers in question.

ian giggled behind the podium, a strangely worrisome sound, and you and shayne glanced at each other in shared horror. "trevor,” ian paused, multiplying the level of suspense you were already feeling. “for an extra fifty points, do you want to tell us who the coworkers are? we'll bleep it."

"fifty points?!" shayne yelled, playfully incensed by this rule breaking.

"just take me out back like ol yeller, i beg." you set you head on the podium, which wasn't exactly a comfortable angle, but this wasn't going to be as fun as you thought if ian was going to play dirty the whole game.

the room erupted in laughter as trevor pondered his choice. "no, i won't. i don't want to start anything, fifty points is nothin' compared to my pals at smosh!"

you all booed him, lovingly, and ian giggled again. "shayne, for an extra fifty points, can you guess the coworkers trevor's tweet is about?"

"do you know who it's about?" shayne asked, confused.

"oh, i think everyone in this room does," ian's grin was devilish, relishing in the chaos he was causing. he's been watching too much game changer.

"okay, i'll guess for fifty points. is it angela and amanda?" the room erupted once more, angela's laugh heard loud and clear on every mic.

"incorrect! okay, let's see your post, shayne!"

"wait, i don't get to guess?" you cut in, feeling a little bit excluded from the joke.

"would you like to?" ian asked, earnest, though that devilish smile was still fixed to his mug.

you thought about it for a second. "actually, i'm good. i think my choices are too controversial. y'all aren't ready for my vision."

everyone laughed, and the game moved on.

"shayne. your tweet says: '[blank] is overrated. [blank] is cooler.'"

shayne's silence dragged on, and ian asked if he had a guess. after a beat, shayne stood stock straight up, ready to answer.

"steve, my answer is. 'steak is overrated. chicken is cooler.' for five points."

"let's see..."

ian revealed the next slide, and a slide whistle sound effect played. “oh, that’s too bad shayne. the correct answer was ‘penis is overrated. dick is cooler.’ so close, so close. alright, y/n, it’s your turn!”

you were feeling a little better now that shayne had gotten his wrong. maybe trevor would win, but it didn’t have to be a huge blowout, right?

“y/n, your tweet says ‘i need [blank] to [blank blank] or i will [blank] in [blank blank].’ this seems evil, y/n, if i’m being honest.” ian’s wicked smirk was still firmly planted; he was playing dirtier than you ever thought him capable of.

“what’s genuinely crazy is i’ve been so worried that i would not remember anything i’ve ever tweeted, but i actually do remember this one!” you laughed hard and loud, but then you remembered you did in fact have to tell everyone what it said. you could lie, but they’d just reveal it after anyway, and you had made a big stink about knowing it now… all you could do was fill in the damn blanks. “okay, it says ‘i need noomf–”

“you need what?” shayne asked, incredulous.

“noomf, it means ‘not one of my followers’ instead of oomf, which is ‘one of my followers’. anyway, ‘i need noomf to fuck off or i will piss in his kickstart’.” you covered your face with your hands, genuinely embarrassed. this would all be a good laugh after shooting wrapped, but in the moment you just wanted to scream a bit.

ian decided to go full little shit mode and not even make a comment, just click to the next slide showing that you were correct. every word. “five points for y/n!”

“oh, fuck, i forgot i was getting points for that. i’ll stop moping now!” you laughed, pushing yourself back into your camera persona, bright and light and happy. you could feel spencer’s daggers in the back of your skull all the same.

✰ .ᐟ

everyone broke for lunch after the finishing the shoot, and angela and courtney were the first to harass you.

“bro, you tweeted that you would piss in his kickstart?” courtney started.

“you guys don’t follow each other on socials?” angela then asked.

court took another turn next, “do you guys not talk outside of work at all?”

“no! they only talk about work so they always talk through slack!” angela was kind enough to explain your point from lunch the other day.

you stood there, tapping your foot. a bit comical, but a flair for the dramatic never hurt anybody, especially not in this industry. “are we done here? can i go get my food now?” you asked, no venom. “here, let’s just eat together and you can ask all your silly little questions. can’t promise i’ll have an answer for everything, but i’ll do what i can.”

you all lined up at the catering tables and grabbed some food, then found your way to an empty table to start this awful discussion.

you decided some rules needed to be put in place, because as much as you loved angela and courtney, you really didn’t want this to blow up into some ‘big thing’. coworker feuds happen in every office setting, it’s inevitable. it doesn’t need to be a whole situation, in your opinion.

“okay, before we start i’m going to lay some ground rules. you can ask whatever questions you want, but i’m allowed to not answer certain ones. whatever is said at this table, remains at this table, forever. and finally, i beg y’all to speak at a normal volume and not freak out for no reason. i do not need the whole company knowing my business. i’m sure you understand.”

they both nodded, and you decided to get courtney up to speed in case they had a question angela had asked you at lunch the other day, which was likely. now that you thought about it, angela was the only person you had really talked about it with. no one else you worked with seemed to mind, or care, so you didn’t think you’d ever need to answer any questions about it.

“court, before we start, angela actually ambushed me about this the other day so i do already have a few frequently asked questions answered. no, it isn’t a bit. we don’t have any friendship at all. we do not speak outside of work. i’ve never seen him outside of work. we do not have each other’s numbers. we do not follow each other on social media. we aren’t secretly dating. yes, we do hate each other, and, yes, it’s mutual. but… no, i don’t have a reason why.” you were fairly out of breath by the end of your rant, and courtney gave you a moment to catch back up.

“you don’t have a reason why? how can you both hate each other for no reason?” their voice was soft, caring. it burned.

a sigh escaped you. “as far as i know, neither me nor spencer have a ‘reason’ for hating each other. but it’s just a truth at this point. we hate each other, so we don’t interact outside of work. we play nice for the camera, but only because it wouldn’t really be entertaining if we didn’t. some truths are just truths. the sky is blue, the grass is green, and me and spencer hate each other.” you took a few bites of the salad you grabbed from the line, surprised at how good the dressing was. “holy shit, this dressing is fantastic,” you mumbled, hoping, in vain, to prompt a conversation change.

“like i said, i thought the bickering you guys did on camera was an inside joke. i didn’t know there was real anger behind it,” angela said, seeming a bit sad at this revelation.

you realized once again that you hadn’t actually had an honest conversation about this with anyone. you had never taken the time to flesh out this charade you were playing. “i’m not even sure the anger is real.” you said solemnly, quiet as a mouse. “i think it started as a bit. i’m not sure when it turned real, but it is. i guess.”

angela put her arm around you, sensing your mood drop. “hey, hey. it’s alright. you going to be okay, babe?”

courtney put their hand on yours, which you held. you felt like you were naked on a stage – feeling too vulnerable all too suddenly. after a second longer, you pulled yourself away from both of them. “i’m okay, it’s okay. can we change the topic, though? i… guess i’m not ready to talk about it, or something.”

you zoned out for the rest of the conversation.

✰ .ᐟ

when the day had finally ended, you felt the most immense relief you’ve felt in all your damn life.

finally. time to go home and dick around on your guitar. today provided a lot of feelings for a hopeful writing session.

everyone at smosh knew you played guitar, but no one knew you wrote original music too. it was the easiest way to process what you were feeling. and if it sounded bad, then it sounded bad. at least you felt better afterwards. you never recorded anything you wrote, because it was a form of therapy for you. you let it all out, you cry, you scream, whatever. then you worked on healing. this was your process, and you loved it.

you were planning out some verses mentally when shayne caught up to you on the way to your car. “hey, y/n! i have a strange question.”

you turned, surprised by his appearance. “sure, shayne. what’s up?”

“are you seeing anyone right now?”

“why, are you and courtney looking for a third?” you raised an eyebrow, which had shayne giggling. you continued, “no, i’m single. why?”

“no reason!” shayne yelled, and promptly sprinted away.

“okay, see you tomorrow, i guess!” you shouted after him, knowing he probably couldn’t hear you. for such a small man he had a seemingly large stride. he was already halfway across the parking lot when you finished your sentence. “what the hell is this job, anyway?” you muttered, trying to find the melody you had thought of earlier in the day as you drove home in blissful silence.

✰ .ᐟ

alex: yoooo

spencer: what’s up?

alex: kiana’s friend is so your type it’s criminal

spencer: ok?

alex: i’m serious dude she’s like your dream girl!!

spencer: ok?

alex: hi spencer this is your best friend kiana, you have a date with my friend tomorrow at 7pm at our fav chili’s, ok love you!

spencer: i’d rather not

alex: she said shut up and be there or she’s dumping your kickstart stash

spencer: you are both evil.

alex: <3

✰ .ᐟ

you slept like shit last night. again. the past few nights were just not kind to you, and you could tell it was obvious.

“whoa, y/n… do you need to borrow some concealer?” courtney asked upon seeing you in the kitchen this morning. “i’m sure someone has a shade match in the building.”

“gee, thanks, court.” you laughed weakly to yourself, knowing she had nothing but good intentions. “i’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, not sure what’s going on.” you turned around and sighed into your coffee mug, exhausted. “maybe my body is trying to tell me something.”

courtney smiled, then came to lean against the counter next to you.

“you’re single, right?” they questioned, eyes bright.

you sighed again. “yes, just like i told your husband yesterday, i am single.”

“do you have plans tonight?”

“other than sitting on my couch with my guitar, probably not. perhaps i’ll watch a movie. who’s to say? the world is my oyster.”

they rolled their eyes at you, but leaned in closer to whisper. “our favorite chili’s, tonight, 7pm. you’re going on a blind date with someone i know very personally, who is perfect for you.”

she was out of the kitchen before you could pick your jaw up off the floor to protest.

✰ .ᐟ

you stood in your bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror. what the hell was going on. courtney had sent you a text fifteen minutes ago, a reminder of why you were standing in your bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror. you had a blind date at chili’s in 45 minutes. what the hell was going on.

if you were in an alternate universe, perhaps all the dots you were connecting in your brain would turn out to be correct. you felt like that bit in buzzfeed unsolved.

i’ve connected the dots.

you haven’t connected shit!

in an alternate universe, your friends beating the truth out of you about your feud with spencer, then turning around and orchestrating a blind date for you would mean something. and it would mean they were setting you up with spencer. just for a moment, just a sliver of a second, you imagined that universe.

you imagine it all working out.

but then you pull yourself out of it, and start actually getting ready for your date.

he was probably just another improv actor with a nose ring. and he was probably nice. cute, even. but you couldn’t stop thinking about brown curly hair, piercing eyes, a hydroflask full of kickstart.

a green smosh hat. a carhartt jacket. stubble. glasses. you loved his glasses, and secretly cursed him when he would wear his contacts. spencer.

your phone vibrated against the counter, painfully reuniting you with reality. “shit.”

you fumbled to answer the call, still feeling lost in the syrupy haze of that alternate universe of yours. “hey, court.”

“are you on your way? find my friends says you’re still at your place!” they rushed out, and you pulled your phone away from your face to see you had less than 15 minutes to be ready and out the door.

“shit! sorry, i didn’t realize how late it got. i’m finishing up now, i’ll be on my way before you know it.” the silence on the other end was deafening. “i promise! but i have to get off the phone to get ready, okay?”

“fine. please send me a photo of your outfit before you leave. i love you! bye!” courtney ended the call, and you sighed.

“let’s get this over with.” you mumbled to your empty bathroom.

✰ .ᐟ

spencer was pissed. if his friends didn’t suddenly decide to meddle in his love life, he wouldn’t be on a random side street, a mere three miles from chili’s, replacing his flat fire. at 7:08 pm. he didn’t even want to go on this date, but he also didn’t want to be a dick and show up late. alex and kiana didn’t share any info about this mystery girl so he couldn’t text her to let her know. he decided to call alex as he was getting ready to hoist the spare tire out of his trunk.

“aren’t you on a date right now?!” alex shouted down the phone, no greeting. spencer rolled his eyes.

“chill, i got a flat tire. i’m down the road, like eight minutes max if traffic is kind to me. can you please let my date know i’m not standing her up, i just have to throw the donut on my car really quick.” he was fiddling with the tire iron while he spoke, suddenly nervous and upset at the prospect of hurting this mystery girl’s feelings. he shoved the emotion down and nestled the phone between his ear and shoulder, a smidge tighter than before. “please just let her know.”

“okay, okay.” alex took a breath in, and spencer could tell they’re relieved that the date isn’t a disaster, but only getting there kind of is. “i’ll let her know.”

they said goodbye, and spencer got back to work on the tire.

elsewhere, alex texted courtney.

alex: hey spencer got a flat tire. should be there in like 10-15

courtney: ok i’ll let y/n know!

alex: he called me and i nearly shat my pants

courtney: understandable lol if she called me 10 mins in i’d also be panicking

alex then texted kiana.

alex: spencer is late bc he got a flat tire i’m gonna bomb him

kiana: now, now!! it will work out in the end, grasshopper

alex: dont be weird

kiana: says u

✰ .ᐟ

you looked at your phone again. 7:20. you were on your second glass of water, munching on your chips and salsa and sighing. people were starting to stare at you. look at that poor girl, sipping her water, waiting for someone who isn’t showing up. surely she knows, they thought, surely she knows he’s isn’t coming.

unfortunately, you were still holding out hope. for some reason. you didn’t even want this, your friends just dropped it on you. but now that you were here, you felt hopeful.

most people who know you wouldn’t exactly call you a romantic, but somewhere buried deep inside you, you longed for companionship. everyone did, to some degree – it was human nature. so you decided that at 7:30, you’d leave.

even if tearing yourself from the booth would burn like wildfire.

you looked at your phone once more. 7:22. you’d been brooding in silence, alone at this table, and alone in this world. a vibration startled you out of it.

courtney: hey he’s almost there!!! he got a flat tire he should be there in about five mins, ok?? i’m so sorry and so is he!!

your heart rate picked up, that hope reigniting and spreading a warm fire throughout your body. you weren’t being stood up. good.

y/n: ok! thank you for updating me <3

courtney: of course bb i love you sm! have fun! text me all the deets!

as you smiled and steadied your fingers to type a reply, an all too familiar voice rang out. “are you being stood up at chili’s?” it asks.

you involuntarily rolled your eyes, all too easily sliding into this role you play. no one could say you weren’t a good actor. because here you were, slipping under that mask that fit so comfortably. playing a character. because an hour ago, you were hoping it would be him. you wanted it to be him. but now, he was here. which meant you had a role to play, and you would play it well. you’d give him an oscar award-winning performance.

“please explain how my activities outside of the office are any of your business, spencer.” you deadpanned. it didn’t hit like you wanted it to. “he’s late.”

“scoot. i’m hungry.” he says, and you stare at him.

“i’m sorry?” you admonished.

“scootch over. have you ordered yet?” he asks, casual as all get out. like this was normal, or reasonable.

you both know your roles. you know your lines. you’ve been off-book for years. what was he doing? he was going so far off script, ad-libbing, completely disregarding the words written for you, the ones you’d both studied and memorized. you were an improv comedian, and yes and-ing was never something you struggled with. but this wasn’t supposed to be improv. this was scripted. heavily. this was not reality tv, this was not whose line, this was a 40-minute sitcom with strict character archetypes, and you both knew your roles.

while you waited in vain for the non-existent director to yell ‘cut!’, you found yourself moving over and letting him slide into the booth. it didn’t occur to you to just tell him to sit on the opposite side, which was empty.

despite the warmth of the evening and the restaurant, you felt a shiver up and down your spine.

your server, carissa, came back to the table, and she looked relieved that your ‘date’ had finally arrived. she was probably about 20 years old, and her whole vibe said, “if he doesn’t show up, i’ll kill him for you.”

“took you long enough, dude,” was her greeting of choice. spencer looked surprised, which caused a laugh to escape you. “what would you like to drink?”

spencer seemed a bit lost for words, but managed to say “just a water, please,” after a not-entirely inaudible swallow.

carissa turned her attention back to you, “did you want to order now? or does mister late as fuck need some more time?” she gestured at spencer with her pen, her voice full of humor. it was entirely opposite of the darker voice she used on spencer.

you loved this girl. “easy on him, carissa. i’m sure he has a good reason.”

spencer looked at you, and you realized you probably should have specified that he actually wasn’t the person you were waiting on. your mind drifts back to that slice of an alternate universe, the one you wanted to slot yourself into for longer than just a fleeting moment. your heart quickened its pace once more, and you silently willed it to calm down.

he doesn’t like you, you thought, solemnly. he likes chili’s. he’s probably here to meet kiana or something. the thought of kiana joining you at dinner was a happy one, usually. you loved her. she was bright and bubbly and she was incredibly smart. you loved listening to her talk. but right now, it almost felt like that little alternate universe and the universe you’re currently stuck in were overlapping for a moment. you wanted to keep this feeling. hold it close.

you zoned back in when spencer started talking, both of you unsure how long you had been looking at each other for. it might have been the first time you both really looked at each other. the glancing and the glaring around the office was short lived. never more than a few seconds. this look felt like it stretched on for years, unending. this wasn’t just the first time you both looked at each other, it might also be the first time you really saw each other.

and, if you were just a bit more unhinged, you’d have said that it felt like home.

“i had a flat tire. i was right down the road but i had to put the spare on, so i’m much later than i wanted to be. i try to be early to dates, but it seems like the world was betting against me tonight.” spencer looked at his lap, sheepish, all of the sudden. it was cute. a soft expression you had no clue he was even capable of. it suited him, emotion. or, emotions other than anger.

“see? that’s a perfectly reasonable excuse,” you replied, which prompted a gasp from spencer.

you find the roles shifting, no longer are you and spencer coworkers trapped in an office, glaring at each other and attempting niceties on camera. now, you were stepping into the roles of love interests in a rom-com with 80s flair. the quiet, misunderstood girl, and the edgy yet likeable boy. fake dating for some reason or another, only to fall in love for real in the end. the it was always you trope.

you could play this character just as easily as you could play the hateful coworker. maybe this role would win you a sag award. you set it next to your academy award on your imaginary awards shelf.

“it’s not an excuse! it’s a reason. an explanation, if you will.” spencer said, faux-horror in his voice.

“and i will.” you shot back, playing into it. you could fit so comfortably here.

carissa faked a yawn, and you ask her for a triple dipper – mozzarella sticks, big mouth bites, and chicken tenders. spencer had no comment on this, which made you quite happy, oddly enough.

once carissa had walked away, spencer turned his body to face you a little more, and you felt closed in in the best way possible. he was suffocating you with his presence, but it felt good. safe, even.

you settled into the booth, a little taken aback by his sudden attention. honestly, you paid more attention to him around the office than you would ever admit to anyone. you both had desks in the same pod so you were in proximity at all times, and you looked. a lot. and maybe you pined. maybe… just maybe, you had been pining this whole time.

“what’s goin’ on up there?” spencer asked, nodding toward you.

“i don’t know,” you replied. it was the truth. you weren’t sure what was going on in your brain, just that you had no urge to stop it. more like an urge to give in.

carissa reappeared with a glass of ice water for spencer. he whispered a soft “thank you” in her direction, but his eyes never left yours. she walked away without a response.

“y’know, i was actually supposed to meet someone here tonight. i should probably tell alex what’s going on.”

your ears perked up at the mention of alex. “why would you tell alex?”

“they’re my best friend?” spencer said, eyes now on his phone. “also, it was a blind date. i don’t have her number,” he explained, frowning. “or her name.” his thumbs were flying across the keyboard, and you watched in silence. you were suddenly enraptured by his hands.

then, it clicked. “oh my fucking god!” you groaned, which caused spencer to turn his focus back on you.

“what? what’s wrong?” there was genuine concern in his voice, something you had never heard from him. it stoked the fire inside you, pulling it back up to a dangerous roar. this chili’s would erupt in flames if this continued on for much longer.

in lieu of a response, you simply grabbed your phone off the table, calling courtney and putting the call on speaker.

“hey! how’s it going?” courtney asked, speech stilted with nerves.

“what’s my blind date’s name, courtney?”

you heard spencer mutter something under his breath.

“you’ll know him when you see him! like i said, he had a flat tire. wait, it’s been, like, forty minutes, why isn’t he there yet?” their sentence got quieter as they moved through it, processing in real time.

spencer leaned in, clearly only getting closer to the mic so courtney could hear him, but you’d like to think he wanted to be closer to you, too.

“i’m here, courtney.” was all he said.

“neither of you sound happy…” they moped.

you rolled your eyes affectionately. they meant well, and you said as much. “i know you meant well, honey, but me and spencer have absolutely no chemistry.” there it was again. you switched back to your original role, the one you had spent far too much time in, the one that was closer to home. “this wasn’t a good idea and i think you know that.”

you dared to peek at spencer, who was looking right at you, forlorn. “yeah, court. i appreciate the team effort, but unfortunately me and y/n are just not compatible.” his voice was tight. angry. and just like that, spencer was also back in his original role. perhaps it felt like home to him too, and he also didn’t care for change. some things are just true. the sky is blue, the grass is green, and you and spencer agnew hate each other.

for once, you found yourself wishing it wasn't true.

✰ .ᐟ

once you and courtney hung up, you asked carissa for the triple dipper to be to-go, and you and spencer went your separate ways. the whole drive home, the car was silent and so was your brain. normally you’d be crafting melodies and writing bridges, ever the artist. but tonight your brain was turned off. you had to keep it that way, purposefully silencing the thoughts that threatened to burst through. you couldn’t think about the looks spencer gave you. you couldn’t think about the smell of his cologne when he leaned close to talk to courtney. you couldn’t think about the way he apologized.

i’m sorry about this, y/n. i know that we don’t like each other but i wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

this?

the whole, blind-date-with-my-enemy thing.

spencer, why are we enemies?

i don’t know, y/n. but i think we both know it needs to stay that way.

it seemed like he had been mentally policing his word choice. careful, stoic. there was emotion in his voice, but not in his face. his jaw was tight. spencer felt bad. despite it all, he didn’t want to hurt you. this was a rejection, plain and simple, but he was being merciful. though, it also felt forced. like this isn’t what he really wants, but it’s how things have to be. a law of the universe, at this point. an intrinsic truth. we can’t be anything other than coworkers and enemies. anything else would be disastrous.

you felt silly, catastrophizing like this.

as you turned your key in the lock of your front door, your guitar called to you from the corner of the living room.

let it out, it seemed to say, feel your feelings, so you can move on.

and so you did. you changed into some sweatpants and an old crewneck, sat yourself on the floor of your apartment, and got to writing.

perhaps you would one day add a grammy to your little imaginary awards shelf. an academy award for your coworker enemy character, the breakout role. the sag award for your little lovesick puppy character you got to play tonight, at chili’s. and a grammy. for you. no character, no facade, just you.

but you’d have to record yourself to achieve that. and now wasn't the time for bravery, now was the time for processing and moving on.

✰ .ᐟ

the next morning, you woke up to a small barrage of messages. mostly courtney apologizing. an apology from shayne as well. a text from ang asking if you were okay. alex, kiana, and amanda also messaged you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to keep scrolling. until your eyes caught on something new. an unsaved number, who had texted you a mere minute before you woke up.

unsaved: hey. sorry again about last night.

your heart leapt into your throat, and that fire under your skin was back. you put your phone face down on your nightstand and promptly took a shower.

upon your arrival at work, you were reminded of how fucking gossipy this damn office was. people were throwing you apologetic looks all day, clearly informed on the situation. thirty minutes before your first shoot, ian pulled you to the side.

“hey, y/n. um, is there anything you wanted to talk about? or let me know about?” ian asked, clearly uncomfortable.

you looked at him in confusion, head tilted to the side. “i… don’t think so?” you said it like a question, because it kind of was one. surely one blind date arranged by other coworkers that didn’t even result in a relationship wasn’t cause for concern, right?

“okay, i’ll just ask then. are you and spencer in a relationship? it’s okay, if so, but there’s a lot of paper–”

you cut him off, astounded he even thought to ask such an insane question. “whoa, whoa, whoa. me and spencer are not dating. why on earth gave you that idea?”

ian blushed, and it was quite cute. he clearly felt a little out of his depth, which is silly considering the amount of coworker relationships at smosh. he’s done this at least three times, you think he’d be better at it.

“well i've heard whisperings around the office that you two went on a date last night,” he said.

“and you thought that a date between us would end well?” you asked, a bit astounded. “i'm not even sure why court and them even set it up, it's fairly well known that we don't like each other in the slightest.” internally, you were thinking about the low tone spencer had when he was next to you. boxing you in, commanding your attention. maybe you had been pining this whole time. but that was not anyone else’s business, so you would continue to keep those feelings behind a quadruple-padlocked door, far in the back corner of your brain.

“y/n, can i talk to you as a friend and not as a boss or coworker?” ian dropped his voice, a soft smile on his face.

“of course, ian.”

“i think you know damn well that you and spencer are made for each other.”

“i–”

he cuts you off. “you might have everyone else fooled, and you might even have yourself fooled. but to a degree, i think there’s a part of you that wants that. and it’s okay to want that. to want spencer. it’s okay to want. but if you ask me–”

“i didn’t–”

“but if you ask me,” he bulldozes, committing to saying his piece. “i think it’s also okay to have. it’s right in front of you for the taking, and as much as you can deny it, i think you also know that.”

you were quietly stunned by this emotional, introspective, hopeless romantic version of ian. “i know i can want, ian. i know more than well enough what wanting feels like.” a sigh escapes you, suddenly exhausted. “but i can’t have. not this time, not this one. i can have something else, later down the road. but i can’t have this. i’m not allowed to have this.”

“why not?”

you stayed silent. you hadn’t thought about the why not of it all. it was another one of those things. spencer was an enemy. spencer was off limits. he was forbidden. prohibited. a thing you could want, but never, ever have.

“i just can’t, ian.” you sighed, resigned. you were getting tired of fighting this battle, but it wasn’t like you had a choice.

“okay, y/n.” his voice is soft, and he puts a hand on your shoulder. “well, when you can, i’m sure he’ll be waiting for you.”

“i’d never ask that of him.”

“you don’t have to.” ian wrapped you in a hug, and then walked back to whichever office he came from, leaving you in a pile of emotions at the end of the hall.

“what the fuck is happening,” you whispered to yourself. the world was turning upside down, and you were starting to get quite motion sick.

you sat down on a nearby sofa, checking the time. you had to get your mic pack set up in about five minutes, so you tried to use that time to regulate your breathing. in, two, three, four. out, two, three, four. you knew you were shooting a pit video, but you couldn’t remember what it was or who was going to be in it with you. was it a reddit stories today? no, that was thursday…

“y/n?” erin dougal called. your head snapped up, your thoughts finally simmering to a normal volume. a distraction was welcome, and erin was always up to something.

“yeah, what’s up?” you replied, hoping for some sort of insane tiktok pitch that tommy dreamt up, or some gossip about the caterer she had a thing for.

“ready for the shoot?” right, your job. guess those five minutes passed faster than you thought. at least you had calmed down substantially.

“oh. yeah, sorry. what are we shooting again?” you hoped she wouldn't rag on you too much for forgetting your shoot schedule. surely she was aware of your current goings-on.

she gaped at you in response. “seriously? we've only been gearing up for this shoot for, like, two months.”

fuck. today was courtney’s hide and seek shoot. fuck. you had been so wrapped up in the bullshit of this week you had forgotten to even plan a place to hide.

“oh! right, sorry. not sure how i forgot that.” you stood up, trying to collect yourself, embarrassed.

you followed erin into the small parking lot right outside the office, where everyone was waiting to be let inside. she debriefed you on the general rules, which have been the same since the first hide and seek video. you nodded along, and tried to figure out where the hell you were going to hide.

before you knew it, everyone was rushing inside. you decided to go up into the weird little attic space duran usually hides in, knowing he wasn't set to be in the video. it was a guaranteed easy find, and you didn't really want to be alone with your thoughts for very long. you had a history of being found extremely early on, and you weren’t planning to break that streak. especially not when you had so many other things to deal with right now.

but the universe was never on your side. you climbed up the slightly unstable ladder, using your phone’s flashlight to look for a spot, when you saw him. spencer was already up here, because of course he was.

“no.” was all he said.

“c’mon, this week has been shitty enough. i don't have any other ideas.” you whispered, knowing there wasn't much time left. “i can't find another spot, there's only, like, 20 seconds left.”

“no, y/n.” he was firm in his answer, but you were just as stubborn.

you gathered a bit of courage, and made your way over to him, ducking in the tight space. you sat down right next to him, a fraction of a fraction of a centimeter between you. “yes.”

he rolled his eyes and rested his head on the painted cinder block wall behind him, lids fluttered closed, too tired to fight. you understood that feeling all too well. “fine.”

✰ .ᐟ

turns out, courtney miller is exceptionally terrible at hide and seek. you’d both been waiting in silence to be found for over thirty minutes. if you had known how long you’d have to sit in such close proximity to spencer, you’d have made several different choices. starting with calling out of work today.

“jesus, court.” you whispered. then, turning to spencer, you spoke just a tad louder. “we’re supposed be recording confessionals, you know.”

“i'm aware,” spencer said. no malice in his voice, though you could tell he tried. his mask was slipping.

you pulled out your phone and clipped your little selfie light onto it. “hey guys, y/n and spencer here. it’s been over thirty minutes at this point, and i don't think courtney’s even entered the kitchen, let alone this fuckass room.”

“fuckass is crazy,” spencer says, in that giggly, drawn out way he always does. you always liked when he did that. it made your stomach do somersaults, for a reason you could never pinpoint.

“are we allowed to hide together? i know lisa and jeremy technically did in shayne’s hide and seek video.” you ask, purely for the content of it all. you couldn’t care less about any of the rules right now. you were next to spencer, and it felt right. fuck the rules.

“i'm not sur–” a noise erupted from the kitchen, and spencer paused. “they’re hereeee,” he singsonged. he was disgustingly cute.

“gotta go!” you said, quickly ending the recording and putting your phone away.

spencer looked at you, and you looked at him. faces mere inches apart. you both heard the door to the kitchen closing, signifying courtney’s exit. you were both safe, for now. no need to stay quiet. but neither of you spoke.

the silence carried on, seconds to minutes. you started to really look at spencer, dissecting his beauty.

the shine in his eyes, even in this dim, unflattering light. the ghost of a smile on his face. he's the first to turn away.

“y/n,” spencer near begged. “please.”

“what?” you asked, genuine.

he looked back at you. then he leaned in, so close you could feel his breath when he spoke again. “you're killing me, y/n. you know what you're doing.”

you angled your face, just so, closer than you've been to anyone in a long time. closer than you've ever been to spencer agnew. “oh? what am i doing, spencer?” you batted your eyelashes at him.

he inched closer, prompting your noses to touch. it sent a shooting pulse of sparks through your blood. “tell me to stop, y/n.” he whispered, borderline tremulous.

“why?” you didn’t retreat, and you certainly didn’t oblige him.

“please, tell me to stop.” he was still staring into you, through your eyes and deep into that corner of your mind. the quadruple-padlocked door. he held every key, and you could see it all play out: him unlocking every single one with ease. blatant disregard for the consequences of his reckless actions.

you let him. no, you encouraged him. “why can't you stop yourself, spencer?”

you knew full well courtney could burst in at any moment. you're acutely aware that you're both at work right now, in the middle of a shoot. you couldn’t seem to find the strength to give a fuck.

“because you're in charge, y/n. you always have been. i’ve been following your lead since day one. so tell me to stop.”

you moved your eyes to his lips, finally tearing away from that gaze. “go,” you whispered.

that was all he needed to crash his lips into yours.

it’s not a great kiss. it never is when you're both this pent up. it's either too aggressive or too soft, never exactly what you're expecting, or wanting. but it enveloped you in that now familiar fire, and you didn’t even care. this could be the worst kiss of your life and you would still think of it fondly years down the line. because it's spencer. and you wanted spencer. and he, seemingly, wanted you too. so you want. and you have. just for a moment.

your brain finally rebooted and you immediately started kissing back, forceful. spencer’s hands found your body, and they wandered. he set them on your hips, then moved one to your neck. then one in your hair and the other on your face. you only pulled back from lack of oxygen. out of pure necessity.

as you both sat there, foreheads pressed against each other, chests heaving, you started to think about what you've done. he didn't just unlock that door, he blew it off the hinges. you weren’t sure you could ever deny yourself the feeling of kissing spencer agnew. not anymore, not now. you've become addicted on the very first hit, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

a loud bang on the opposite side of the wall had both of you separating. only an inch or so between the two of you, knowing you're about to be caught. you willed your heart rate down. trying to breathe slow, deep breaths. “time to be found i guess,” you whispered.

spencer’s head finds its place on the back wall again. he seemed defeated. tired. but happy. “yeah.”

✰ .ᐟ

two months passed and neither you nor spencer spoke about what happened during courtney’s hide and seek shoot. there's still animosity all around, and you expect that your oscar will be stripped away due to your performance. it’s exhausting, keeping this fucking thing going. you had the one thing you always denied yourself, for just a moment, and that’s all you’ll ever have. you’re well aware of this, and were doing what you could to fully come to terms with it.

but spencer. he seemed so unbothered. like it was nothing to him, like you were nothing to him, like this was all just an elaborate prank. cut the fucking cameras.

tell me to stop, y/n. please.

christ. your alarm had been turned off five minutes ago, but you remained in bed, under the covers. showing up at work was never a thing you dreaded. you fucking loved your job. and all your coworkers, who were now your friends and your family. you even loved the fans, deranged as they are.

but these days, it was weighing on you. getting up, going in and pretending you don’t know the taste and rhythm of spencer agnew’s sinful fucking mouth. it was hell. you wanted more, and he wanted nothing to do with you. and maybe you should have expected that. maybe this was all on you, for getting your hopes up for even a moment.

you’re in charge, y/n. you always have been.

you pulled yourself out of bed and into the shower. you turned the water as hot as it could go, grateful to experience a different kind of pain for even a few minutes.

i’ve been following your lead since day one. so tell me to stop.

once your skin had been sufficiently burned, and your actual shower duties were complete, you decided to dress a little nicer today. even though you knew the only plan you had was answering emails, editing scripts, and some social media stuff.

the shower really helped. the day seemed different, brighter. you felt a little less trepidation about work. you weren’t sure what magic was doled out by your rinky dink shower head, but you were thankful for it all the same.

✰ .ᐟ

pretty much every cast member greeted you at the door. suddenly, that trepidation was back. “what’s going on?”

“did you not check your phone?” shayne asked, a laugh tumbling out of him.

you thought about it. you hadn’t, actually. you turned your alarm off, showered in silence for the first time in a long time, then drove to work in silence as well. “i guess not. why? is everything okay?”

angela let out a gleeful scream. “you and spencer have the fandom in a tizzy!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands with joy.

your brain went all fuzzy. “me and… spencer?” your mind drifted back to the kiss, and you felt the heat rising on your face. that was embarrassing. everyone was here, and they were all looking at you, and you knew that your blush was violently visible.

“from the hide and seek video!” chanse added, as though there were any other point of reference.

you started to get a bit light-headed, and you sat down. “i’m confused.”

“why?” courtney asks, coming to sit next to you. it seemed everyone could sense your discomfort, so they dissipated, leaving courtney to work their magic.

“why would anyone care about me and spencer?” you asked. in your defense, you hadn’t watched the video. you couldn’t. you didn’t even watch back the single confessional you recorded, just sent it over to andre. you didn’t delete it though. it sat in your camera roll, heavy on your mind, and taunting you every time you opened your photos app.

they laughed, a soft sound, reassuring. “babe, i need you to watch the video.”

you groaned in response, feeling like a petulant child. like you were going to stomp your feet and cry if you didn’t get your way. “i don’t want to, courtney. i don’t need to see how fucking red was my face was. i don’t need to see how pathetic i look.”

you hadn’t told a single soul what happened in that little attic crawl space. you didn’t want to – it was a blissful secret. it was easier to hold it in, the truth that you kissed him and it felt like flying and dying and living and breathing and everything all at the same exact time. because if you ever admitted that out loud, you think you’d pass away from the sheer amount of love in your voice when you say it. he was turning you into a hopeless romantic, and you’d barely said seven words to the man since he completely ruined your life.

because that’s what he had done, wasn’t it? you were ruined for anyone else. how could you move on, how could you kiss someone else when spencer agnew made alpha centauri appear behind your eyes. a star system, exploding to life. and you knew, somewhere inside, that that was the only time in your life you’d ever be able to feel something like that. you weren’t even sure you’d want to feel it again. it’s been nothing short of agonizing.

“y/n, can i ask you something?” they questioned, ever patient.

“yes.”

“why do you keep denying yourself good things?” her hand was on your thigh, a soft comfort to offset the sting of her question. “please, i'll show you the clip right here, and i’ll be next to you the whole time. if you want me to turn it off, i will. but will you try for me? please?”

you had never struggled with watching the videos you were in. granted, you usually could just focus on someone else in the shot. this was just you, and spencer. courtney would be there in the background, maybe brennan. but mostly it was you and spencer. and if you didn’t look at yourself, you’d look at him. you weren’t sure which was worse, but you agreed.

“rip the fucking band-aid off already, i beg of you.”

she let out a small squeal of excitement, opening her phone. you were only mildly surprised to see the clip was already pulled up.

courtney pressed play on the video, and they handed you the phone. you watched, captivated. you decided to look at yourself. your blush was evident, and once you noticed that, you couldn’t bear to look any longer, so you looked at spencer. he was staring at you, while you stared ahead, giggling at whatever courtney said. his eyes were fixed on your profile, a smile bursting at the seams of his mouth, threatening a chelsea grin. he was smiling. he begged you to stop him, to stop this. spencer begged you not to feed the fire, but you had thrown gasoline right into it.

the thought… excited you.

“oh, hey,” courtney chirped happily, causing you to tear your eyes away from the screen of her phone. she paused the video and slipped her phone back into her pocket. “i’ll leave you to it,” they stood from their chair, pushing it in and giving you a look of hopefulness. you smiled back, halfheartedly.

“hi, spencer.” you murmured, finally meeting his eyes.

“hi, y/n.” he parroted, walking slowly toward you. he seemed hesitant, but… hopeful? maybe you felt the same way. “can i talk to you for a moment?” he gestured to the recently vacated chair on your left, and you nodded. you couldn’t trust yourself to talk at the moment.

he sat down next to you, entirely too casual. he’s slouched in the chair, hands in the pockets of his jacket. “seems like we did a number on a few people, huh?” he started. still too casual. you braced yourself for impact: we still can’t do this, though. we’re not friends. let alone lovers.

what he actually said, though, hit you harder than 400 asteroids. “you certainly did a fucking number on me.”

“uh, what?” is all you could muster, confused, adrenaline pumping through your veins.

he sat back up, then leaned into your space. again. he likes to do that. normally, you’d feel too caged, too claustrophobic. but for some reason, it felt like a blessing. a near-familiar comfort in this whirlwind you were caught up in. “y/n, do you remember our first date?”

your defense mechanism, sarcasm, clicked on in your brain. “if you call that a date, i’m embarrassed for you, spencer.”

“so you do remember it.”

“yes, spencer. i remember when you accosted me at chili’s.”

he laughed, and you know that it’s such a beautiful sound, but it still hurt. “and do you remember what i told you at the end of the night?”

“you said you didn’t know why we were enemies, but that we both knew it needed to stay that way.”

“exactly. y/n, do you know why i refuse to sit next to you in videos? or why i very frequently cut you off when you’re talking? or why we’ve never been the guests on reddit stories together?”

“no,” you breathe out, honest. “no, i don’t know why.”

“it’s because of what happened in that godforsaken hide and seek video. because i knew, given the proximity, i’d do that. i’d stare at you, zoned out of whatever conversation was happening around me. smiling like a fucking idiot.”

you didn’t speak, feeling overwhelmed at his sudden confession.

“i have a cool guy persona that i try quite hard to keep up, and i didn’t want millions of people seeing me, fucking, splayed out like that. all my feelings on display in 4k. since the day you walked in that fucking door, i’ve been forcing myself to hate you, forcing myself to be your ‘enemy’, playing along with this stupid fucking charade we both seemingly crafted out of nowhere. being that close to you, it makes that whole game a lot harder to play.”

“spencer,” you said, attempting to alleviate some pressure. “you don’t have to–”

“i’m serious, y/n. i’m not mad, i’m not even upset. frankly, i’m relieved. it’s out there, people have seen it, and i’m happy about it. i’m tired of this stupid cat and mouse game, y/n. this shit makes me feel like sisyphus. i’m tired of pushing the stupid fake hatred boulder up the mountain. and i think you are, too. i’ve seen it. i’ve felt it.” he whispered the last part, like it was meant just for him. he was thinking about the kiss. reliving it, the tension, the heat, the closeness. his lips on yours, his hands in your hair. he was thinking about it, and he wasn’t thinking it was embarrassing or gross. he didn’t regret it. he didn’t regret you.

you leaned into him, bringing your nose right up to his, face closer than need be for a conversation between two people who claim to hate each other. “tell me to stop, spencer,” you tried.

he looked at you, eyes wide and shining again. his gaze flickered down to your mouth, then back to your eyes. “fuck it,” he stated, and then his lips were on you.

you were once again kissing spencer agnew, and you were once again doing it at the fucking office. but you didn’t care about that, couldn’t care about that, because he was kissing you, and this time it was different. it wasn’t nearly as clumsy, or aggressive. the angle was perfect, and his hand was resting on the back of your neck, a soft cradle. your brain didn’t need to time to load, or reboot, and for once it didn’t even blue screen. you immediately kissed spencer back, with more fervor than you thought you had in you.

a small moan slipped out of your mouth, and you didn’t care about that either. you knew your coworkers were probably watching you both from around the corner, phones out to record the momentous occasion, hushes being thrown at others who dared to speak.

but right now, the only thing you cared about was making sure spencer knew you weren’t going to play this fucking godawful game anymore. you kissed him like you were serious about it, because you were. you were serious about spencer agnew. as serious as a heart attack, which you felt like you were on the verge of.

you attempted to pull back for a moment, but spencer wouldn’t let you go. he’s starving, and you are a delicacy he intends to gorge himself on, gluttonous. you gave in, and continued to kiss him back. it’s the most blissful feeling, reciprocation.

no more games. no more lies. no more feuds.

no more enemies, or hatred.

some things in life are universal truths. the grass is green, the sky is blue, and you and spencer agnew loved each other. you always had, and both of you were equally tired of pretending otherwise. pushing back against the universe was always a losing game.

so you both gave in.

and it was heavenly.

“please, y/n,” spencer pined, pulling back but still staying close. “don’t make me wait another two months to do that again.”

a laugh surged out of you, loud and honest. “have you been thinking about doing it again?”

“constantly. it’s a problem.”

you bit your bottom lip, unsure of how you got here. “oh my god,” you put your head in your hands, remembering your first tweet from you posted that. “i’m sorry i threatened to piss in your kickstart.”

this time, spencer was the one who laughed. hard and loud, honest, just like you, a moment ago. like you were still doing, because hearing spencer laugh made you laugh. a contagious happiness pouring from his lips, filling your very atoms.

“it’s okay, i understand. i wanted to piss in your lattes.” he set his forehead against yours, a form of intimacy he seemed to love. just like two months ago, he was invading your space and you couldn’t get enough of it.

“i’m sorry it took so long to get my head out of my ass,” he spilled, remorse heavy in his voice. “to think we could have been doing this so long ago…” his sentence faded away, and you couldn’t help but smile even harder.

“hey, my head was also up my ass. it’s okay. we have time.”

“yeah, we do.”

✰ .ᐟ

the remainder of the week went off without incident. you told ian you would fill out any and all paperwork, but not until you and spencer were ready. not until he formally asked you to be his girlfriend. it was still the very early days, and while you were beyond happy, you didn’t want to jinx it. watching this love grow was a privilege, not a right, and you intended to keep it.

you both graced the infamous white reddit stories couch, the episode themed around coworker drama. it was nice to be able to laugh with him openly, and it was nice to hear his thoughts on the stories. spencer was incredibly well articulated when he wanted to be, and it was incredibly sexy to watch him be so emotionally mature and vulnerable. he was more understanding than you would have ever expected, and it only made you want him more.

you hadn’t had a real, formal date yet. that was tonight, once shooting wrapped. he refused to tell you anything about it, just insisted you dress comfortably.

and you were comfortable, here on this couch, with spencer. you both had to be reminded not to sit so close together, several times now. shayne and courtney ragged on you a bit, but they promised to give you tips on hiding the relationship if that was what you chose to do. that was a conversation for another time, but it was nice to know everyone at smosh would always be in your corner.

you pulled yourself out of your head to concentrate on shayne’s voice, and you even threw in a few comments mid-narration. you didn’t like doing that often, it felt rude to interrupt. but hearing spencer break out in a fit of giggles at a shitty joke you made only pushed you to be more confident.

✰ .ᐟ

“where the fuck are going, spencer?” you questioned for approximately the fifteenth time. once shooting had wrapped, everyone bid you and spencer farewell and good luck on your first official date. you went to the bathroom to change into your favorite sweatpants and an old hoodie, and when you reappeared spencer was holding a blindfold in his hand.

without thinking, you had popped the first joke that came into your head. “oh, we’re already getting freaky?”

he had laughed, and insisted it wasn’t anything like that. “but it can be, eventually.” he raised an eyebrow, suggestive and suave.

well, fuck.

as spencer directed you through the office – presumably to take you to one of the stages? – you let the lack of sight relax you. he wanted to surprise you, which means that he planned something. or set something up. you were rapidly falling in love with this man, and you weren’t sure if that was scary or exciting. probably both. you were free falling out of a fucking airplane, the cords on your parachute stuck, but it felt good.

“okay, you can remove your blindfold,” you heard his voice from behind you, as he finally brought you to a stop.

you slowly reached up to pull the blindfold off, and you couldn’t stop the tears that started to form.

spencer had set up a place for you to record music. he had moved a bunch of props and furniture around on the games stage, and set up a tiny little nook with pillows and blankets and bean bags. somehow, your guitar was there, propped next to an amp. there were several pedals splayed out, a wide array of effects for you to choose from. it was all hooked up to your macbook, which had fl studio pulled up on it.

“spencer…” you whined. the tears were silent, but they fell in waves.

he moved to stand in front of you, and you knew you would never get tired of being able to be this close to him whenever you wanted. he was yours to hold.

you tried to stop the tears, tried to speak, tried to thank him and apologize. all you could do was let the small, silent sobs wrack your body.

“y/n, please please tell me that these are happy tears,” spencer pleaded with you. his hand wiping a tear away from your cheek.

you nodded furiously, and found your voice again. “y-yes. yes. they are happy tears.” you took a deep breath in, stinging in the best way. “thank you so fucking much, spencer. i don’t know what to say other than thank you.”

“i know that you write music, but i know you never record it. i didn’t know if that was because you were worried about it not being good enough, or if it was simply the inability to record. either way, i can keep all of this set up here for you. whenever you want, as long as the stage isn’t needed, of course. i was hoping we could have a little jam sesh.” spencer laughed, light and airy.

you surged forward, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tightly. “thank you,” you said again.

✰ .ᐟ

you and spencer spent three hours holed up on the games stage, playing around with different effects pedals and different fl studio presets. the time flew by, and you hadn’t even actually recorded anything, but you didn’t need to. you’d remember every second of this night for the rest of your life. you didn’t show spencer any of the songs you’d written these past few weeks, all of them about him. you would one day, when you were ready, but right now all you wanted was to be in this moment with him.

“it’s crazy how far we’ve come in such little time,” spencer said quietly, once the instruments had been retired and you were both stretched out on the extra large bean bag.

you smiled, agreeing. “yeah. it sucks that we lost out on so much time, but i’m grateful that i get to have you at all.” it was more vulnerable than you had meant to be, but spencer didn’t let it linger in the air too long.

“you have me for as long as you want, babe. i’m not leaving until you kick me out.”

a soft laugh, “i can’t imagine a world where i’d ever kick you out, spencer.”

“it’s like i told you. you’re the one in charge, y/n. i’ll follow your lead wherever it takes me.”

“even if it takes you off a cliff?” you japed, adding some levity to this conversation you weren’t quite ready for.

“yes,” spencer replied, no hesitation or thought. “wherever you go, i’d like to be with you. if you’d have me.”

you turned fully onto your side so you could look at him again. his hair had gotten so long, and you were hoping he wouldn’t cut it yet. you liked how wild and windswept it looked at this length. you also wanted to pull it.

“what are you saying, spencer?” you were egging him on.

“will you be my girlfriend, y/n? we can go as slow or as fast as you’d like, we can do it all at your pace. we have time,” he assured you. “i know this is only our first date, and normally this might seem like jumping the gun a little bit.” spencer sighed, but it was wistful, not sad. “but i’ve been sure about you for years now, and now that you’re finally giving me the chance, i don’t want to wait. i don’t want it to slip out of my hands.”

you let out a breath you didn’t notice you were holding. this side of spencer – no, just spencer – you were so unaware of him and everything he had the capacity to be and do and feel just a few months ago. sure, you’d been pining for awhile, and you’d been watching him for a bit. not in a creepy way, just observing him when he wasn’t putting up the goddamn shield he always forced up around you. seeing spencer for who he was, as he was. you had no idea that he could be so eloquent, so romantic, so fucking perfect.

“christ, you’re going to kill me, charles spencer agnew.”

“is that a yes, y/n? don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind already!” spencer laughed again, and you realized just how often you made him laugh. almost like your specific brand of comedy was tailor made for him. maybe it was.

“yes, spencer, i will be your girlfriend.” you smiled at him, a toothy. unabashed grin. “thank you for this.” you gestured around the nook. “seriously, this is so fucking sweet of you. i really, truly appreciate it.” most people didn’t put so much effort into the first date. this would, normally, be a fifth date kind of thing, probably. not that you had much practice. but it was your first real date, and spencer did all this work just to spend a few hours making shitty hyperpop mixes out of the silliest guitar sounds you could manage.

“don’t get used to it, this was a lot of work.”

your smile dropped instantly, a cold rush hitting you. fuck, was he making fun of you? you felt tears well up again, this time decidedly unhappy tears.

spencer shot up in an instant. “hey, hey. it’s okay, love. can i touch you?”

you cried harder, realizing that not only was spencer not making fun of you, but that he was listening. he always was, he always had been. because he knew not to touch you when you were crying, he knew to ask. and you had never told him that.

you had said it in a reddit stories video once. the story had to do with panic attacks, and you felt like you had to give your two cents, daring to be vulnerable on beyoncé’s internet.

“i actually hate being touched when i’m upset. people always jump straight to hugging me or patting my head or some shit. bro, i’m fucking freaking out, please do not touch me!”

courtney laughed, agreeing with your sentiment. “no, exactly! like, i’m crying all over myself and i’m snotty and gross. please get your hands off me. you can clearly see i’m overwhelmed, why is your first thought to add to that?”

it was refreshing to be understood by someone.

“i have never once seen someone in emotional distress and thought, ‘hmm, i should hug them super tight! that’ll help!’ like, what the fuck are we doing, guys? however, i do remember one time i started having a panic attack, and my friend looked at me and held her hands up, then asked ‘can i touch you?’ which, like, just broke me out of it. i was so thankful that she asked to touch me instead of just doing it that i was immediately calmed down. she’s great.”

the emotions were a sudden flood, and you shook your head no. spencer sat still in his spot, respecting your decision. for some reason, this only prompted you to cry harder.

basic respect had you sobbing. this was fucking embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry,” you said through tears, trying to explain yourself.

spencer was patient, and you knew he would wait for you to collect yourself. it was a small gesture but it really did mean the world to you. this meant not only did he listen to you when you were talking on set, but also that he watches the videos that you’re in. he wasn’t on that shoot, he had a con to go to. he wasn’t even in the state of california when you had said that. you had said that nearly a year ago, and he had watched the video when it came out. then committed that piece of you to memory.

“spencer?” you let out softly. “i have a question.”

your voice was small, almost upsettingly so. you didn’t mean to sound so timid, but projecting your voice when you’re feeling this many emotions was something you could only do in front of a camera or a live audience.

“yes?”

“how long have you known that you didn't… y’know. hate me?” you sighed, glad to have the weight of the question off of your shoulders, but worried about how heavy the answer might weigh on you.

“i never hated you. i never even disliked you, y/n. i thought you were smart enough to figure that out.”

“are you negging me, babe?” you asked him, trying out the pet name. it felt nice, especially because you meant it. and because this time, you knew he wasn't being mean. he was just being spencer.

once again, spencer’s laugh graced your eardrums, and you knew you’d never tire of the way it made you feel. unstoppable. like if you could make spencer agnew laugh like this, you could do anything in the world. maybe even be brave.

“can i show you something that i've been working on?” you asked, your eyes trailing up to meet his, which were already fixated on you. as always.

“of course.”

you grabbed your guitar, turning ever so slightly to the side. you didn't want to hide, but you also didn't want to be on full display. spencer understood your movement immediately; he looked down at his hands for a moment, silently reassuring you that it was okay, that you were safe.

it was refreshing to be understood by someone.

you plucked the chords you had burned into your brain at this point. you had written this song the evening of the hide and seek incident (trademark pending).

you let your eyes fall shut, playing from memory, as easy as 1-2-3. as you began the first verse, you dared to glance at spencer. he was looking at you, but through his periphery. still trying to give you that space, but unable to deny himself. it made you burn bright with pure, radiant joy.

you glided into the chorus, your eyes fully open at this point. spencer had long since abandoned his resolve, and he was watching you intently. instead of being scared, or nervous, or overwhelmed, you just felt seen.

in every sense, you felt seen. he was looking at you, into you, and not through you. he was seeing your heart on your sleeve, stitched permanently on every cardigan you owned. he was seeing all of your emotions, all the anger, all the sadness. and he understood your emotions, because he had felt them, too. he had gone through it all, too.

how lucky you were, to be loved by someone so observant. and maybe it wasn't love yet, but you knew the potential was there. you knew, as you finished up the bridge and moved on to the outro, that the seed had been planted. you would be sure to water it diligently.

“can i kiss you?” spencer blurted out, as soon as the final note finished ringing out in the otherwise silent stage.

“always.” you met spencer halfway, another crashing, aching kiss. his hands immediately found your hair, as they always did. your arms fell around his shoulders, a loose hold.

after a moment the kiss was less crashing and danger and speed, slowing naturally to a sensual pace. lightly pulling and pushing, his hands now gripping your hips. not angry, not painful. it was a tight grip, but it wasn't mean. it felt scared, almost, like if spencer didn't hold on to you, you’d be gone.

you think you liked that feeling. the feeling that your partner wanted you all the time.

you spent another hour lazily kissing, and ended up falling into a blissful sleep.

✰ .ᐟ

you woke up about an hour after you had crashed. you hadn't meant to, you were just so fucking relaxed and happy. with the way your sleep had been, you weren’t going to turn down a nap.

spencer mumbled something, and you were suddenly hyperaware of the fact you were still in the office. you groaned, unintentionally.

“you okay, y/n?” your boyfriend – you loved that – asked, his voice soft and scratchy from the nap.

you smiled down at him. “yeah, sorry. i just realized we've only ever kissed at the office.”

you watched in amusement as the cogs turned in his head. “oh, jeez. well, that’s just unacceptable. hey, apropos of nothing, i'm out of kickstart. do you want to run to the corner store with me?”

spencer held out a hand, as if to say ‘join me on this adventure?’ and you weren’t sure how you could decline his offer.

♡

#richie txt #richie writes #spencer agnew x reader #smosh x reader

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matchalovertrait · 1 day ago

Text

An intimate talk under the stars.

Start from the beginning (Gen 2)

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[Once they arrived at the park, Dulce and Antonio changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Running around in skintight costumes all night was NOT comfortable! They wouldn’t recommend it.]

[They also took this time to catch their breath. The crisp air felt rejuvenating while they embraced the comfortable silence, taking in the crazy night they had. What an insane idea. But they did it. Together.]

[After a few minutes, Dulce cleared her throat.]

DULCE: ..Antonio. I want to say I appreciate you for doing this with me. I know it was ridiculous. You’ve already helped me a lot, and I can’t thank you enough for it.

[Antonio shifted with discomfort.]

ANTONIO: Don’t thank me just yet. We haven’t won the case.

DULCE: Many things could’ve gone wrong, though.

ANTONIO: Technically they did... but we got through them, right? And we got the notebook.

DULCE: We did!!

[Dulce took out her notebook and flipped through the pages in awe.]

DULCE: I wish I could see the look on Caruso’s face once he realizes the notebook is gone.

[The “security”, Caruso, and Isabela should be able to put two and two together. Dulce and Antonio knew that. However, Caruso and Isabela had no proof. The Operation Fox team covered their tracks, and Matthew was able to erase any surveillance camera footage once the power came back on.]

[She looked up at Antonio with a soft smile.]

ANTONIO: I’ll guard that notebook with my life when I take it for the ink dating in the morning.

DULCE: I almost didn’t take it when I was in his room because I felt bad... We’re kind of the same.

ANTONIO: What do you mean?

DULCE: Maybe his video about me was some weird karmic stuff for the Alto exposé video I made. Maybe Caruso is just me as a man and I deserve what I got.

ANTONIO: You’re mistaken. You’re a lot smarter than Caruso. In your video, you didn’t give any names and you were very vague. Quite impressive if you ask me. How old were you? About 16? 17?

DULCE: Around there.

ANTONIO: Second of all, you have more love in your heart. It’s that simple.

ANTONIO: Alright. Picture this: Alfonso Alto watches your video. He laughs but is secretly freaking out. What if people start suspecting his shady business? He contacts his legal team to try to stop you.

ANTONIO: They rewatch your video repeatedly in an attempt to find something to sue you for—which, by the way, only adds onto your view count—but, they have nothing. Absolutely nothing. He’s furious to have been outsmarted by a teen girl. Things lead to another and he’s in prison all because of one video.

[Dulce nodded. Antonio would know from experience.]

DULCE: Hm, yeah.

ANTONIO: Think about all the lives you probably saved too. Caruso can’t live up to that. That’s probably why he’s so vengeful.

DULCE: ..Speaking of which, what about you and Isabela? Is she a vengeful ex-girlfriend of yours?

[Antonio waved his hand in dismissal.]

ANTONIO: Absolutely not.

ANTONIO: Actually, she hates me because I turned her down.

DULCE: What??

ANTONIO: We used work closely as interns at the same firm. We had to. Along the way, she somehow developed feelings for me. When she asked me out, I declined. I explained to her that I’m dedicated to my work. I don’t have time or energy for love.

[Dulce’s heart dropped.]

ANTONIO: I thought she took it well. Then, she started screwing me over in subtle ways. She would provide me with incorrect deadlines or “forget” to tell me about important calls.

ANTONIO: I couldn’t say anything. Isabela was untouchable because her uncle was a senior attorney at the firm. When my internship ended and I looked for jobs, many places rejected me because I received a bad reputation.

DULCE: I’m sorry that happened to you. Isabela’s a witch for doing that.

ANTONIO: It all worked out. I’m fortunate that the firm I work at now took a chance on me. I get to do what I love. And that place has allowed me to meet some incredible people.

DULCE: ..Sometimes I think about possible alternate timelines. “What if I didn’t do that?” or “What if I had done this instead?” ..Maybe I would be in a more fortunate situation.. but maybe I wouldn’t have experienced the good things in this timeline.

ANTONIO: Like what?

[The two looked up at the starry night.]

DULCE: Like adopting Cosi! Caruso was the one who insisted we get a dog on that day, actually. Maybe someone else would’ve taken her.

DULCE: Okay, your turn to name something.

ANTONIO: Hm..... One time I broke my leg. If I didn’t have all that spare time to watch movies, maybe I wouldn’t have found out I like Star Wars. Your turn.

DULCE: I got lost in the city once. If I didn’t make a wrong turn, I wouldn’t have run into the person selling the refurbished iMac G3. I love it! Your turn.

[Suddenly, the two of them turned to face each other at the same time. They hadn’t realize the closing distance between them.]

ANTONIO: I..

DULCE: I think we should leave. Isabela and Caruso could be out looking for us right now.

ANTONIO: Yeah, and it’s getting late.

DULCE: Mhm.

ANTONIO: C’mon. Let’s get you home.

#24 pics DAMN!!!#and this post is pretty wordy (imo) but tmr's post will be more of an edit-type post and then we'll pause again on saturday/sunday!#Dulce Alegria #oc mlt: Antonio Romero #tjolc gen 2 #tjolc #joy of life legacy #alegria legacy #joy of life challenge #sims 4 #sims 4 story #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 legacy

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mendessi · 2 days ago

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things i say when you sleep | chapter nine

multi chapter bodhi durran x fem!oc

word count: 5k

chapter summary: Without Bodhi, Ania navigates her new signet with the help of Xaden. It's Reunification Day. What could go wrong?

tags: slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, she falls first he falls harder, majority canon compliant, some canon deviance, eventual smut, angst with a happy ending, additional tags to be added

AO3 masterlist

seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

He says it like a bad thing.

The sour taste that's in my mouth is hard to swallow as I slowly crawl off of him.

However the second he says it, things become clear to me.

"You say it like it's a bad thing," I repeat the words, out loud this time. I'm not sure I can hide the hurt in my voice. My heart feels like it's in my stomach when he won't look at me.

"It's a death sentence. You can't tell anyone," He whispers.

Xaden told me to find him if it manifested. He was the reason it manifested and now he was pulling away.

"I didn't know I was until just now," I wrap my arms around myself feeling small, "You can't even be sure I am."

An inntinnsic. Out of all the second signets in the world, the one I manifested is a fucking death sentence.

He stands up from the bed, and I cannot help but grab his arm. Please don't pull away.

"Where are you going?" My voice cracks and the sadness filling my chest is enough to rattle the furniture in my room.

"I can't be around you right now," He says and I sit up on my knees.

"Wait, please," I plead, "I-I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Bodhi. Please, I won't do it again."

It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. I would never push my feelings onto him. Especially not something like desire. I didn't know it was something I could do.

"I have to go," He pulls himself from my grip and I can't stop the tears that spill from my eyes.

The lights in my room burn brighter and I don't flinch when they eventually burst. There are too many emotions swimming in my head but I know that they're all mine.

An empath is what he called me. I've never heard of it before but I'm not stupid enough not to realize that it's a form of inntinnsic.

Guilt sinks in and I regret kissing him. These were my emotions.

This is what I get for letting him in. For allowing myself to think that I could find a semblance of happiness here. Months of back and forth, shutting him and Xaden out, and the second I'm fully ready to trust this is what happens.

He's afraid to be around me now. Afraid that I'll push my feelings onto him again. Maybe I am better off dead with Carr snapping my neck. There's a reason signets like this are a capital offense.

I ignore my better judgment when I crawl from my bed and leave my room. I can't stand the idea of being alone right now, but I also don't know who to go to. I feel like this is a girl issue but Violet hates me right now for a reason I'm unaware of and Rhiannon is on Violet's side always. I'm not chasing after Bodhi and I refuse to bother Xaden right now.

It takes me several moments to knock on the door when I finally stop outside of it and when I do a few more for who it belongs to to open it.

"Ania," Ridoc says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "You okay?"

The tears have yet to cease and I'm sure I look like a disaster, "Can I please stay here tonight?"

He looks me over once, the look in his eyes softening when he sees that I'm crying, "Of course."

He crawls back into bed and lifts the covers for me and I slide in next to him. Respectfully, he leaves space between us.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks softly.

I contemplate how I could even tell him why I'm crying without revealing something that'll get me killed if he decides to tell anyone else.

"Does it have to do with Bodhi? I saw you leave the flight field with him," He continues. "Do I have to kill him?"

He manages to get a small laugh out of me and I sigh softly when he reaches out the brush the tears from my cheeks.

"I trusted him and I shouldn't have," I whisper.

"Did he hurt you?" He asks and moves to sit up, but I put my hand on his shoulder to make him lay back down.

"Not like that," I shake my head.

"Because we can get the whole squad together and take him out," Ridoc says and I laugh again. "I'm serious."

"I know you are," I say, pulling the blanket up to my chin. "Thank you."

"You're not gonna try to kiss me again are you?" He asks and I punch his shoulder.

"Don't act like you didn't like it," I laugh.

"You hit too hard to be playful," He groans and I can see him holding his shoulder in the moonlight that illuminates his room.

"I wasn't being playful," I smile, wiping the last of my tears. "Can we go to bed now?"

Without another word, he rolls over and is snoring within minutes.

After a night of fighting Ridoc to share the blanket, he's the one who gently slaps me awake.

"I don't want to go," I groan. Despite not sleeping much last night, it did give me time to think about the revelation of my new signet.

Knowing that there's a chance I'll see Bodhi in formation hurts and I don't want the reminder of how he pulled away from my touch last night.

"We can pretend to be sick," Ridoc offers as he pulls his tunic over his head. "Come on, you need to get dressed."

"We have maneuvers later and I will not have you rot in bed at the fault of a man," Gleigeal says and I know he's right. I can't hide in my room all day.

Flying will make me feel so much better, regardless of whether I see Bodhi or not. I'm appreciative that Gleigeal gave me the space I needed last night to process everything, but now I have questions.

"Am I inntinnsic?" I ask.

"That's to be determined," He replies and I glare at the wall I'm staring at.

"That's not an answer," I roll my eyes.

"You will have the answers you desire soon, Ania," Gleigeal says. "Until then, I'm closing the channel."

Ridoc sits on my bed while I get dressed and I half expect Bodhi to come knocking on the door. Violet, Sawyer, and Rhi are standing outside of her door, whispering amongst each other when they see Ridoc and I exit my room. I can't be bothered by what they're thinking at this point.

After Battle Brief, we're headed to the flight field when Xaden appears.

"Wingleader," Dain says and I know he's fighting the urge to clench his fists, "What can I help you with."

"I'm pulling Cadet Alistair from maneuvers today," Xaden says and I immediately glance at Violet, who tightens her jaw.

Great.

"Right," Dain says and nods turning to face me, "Cadet Alistair, you're released."

I try to ignore the way my squad looks at me as I fall in line with Xaden's step. He leads me to his room and I know that we're about to have a conversation about last night. Good to know that Bodhi immediately ran to his cousin after leaving me alone.

"Did he tell you?" I ask as I sit on his bed. I know we'll be in here for a while.

"He told me what he thinks happened. The accusation alone is enough to get you killed," He says, "I want to hear it from your perspective."

"I thought about it last night," I say and he pulls up a chair to sit in front of me. "If he's right, then it manifested when the light did. Or maybe even before. I initially thought I was the one projecting my feelings, but I don't think that's true."

"Walk me through it," He leans back in the chair, one leg propped up on the other.

"Trust the wingleader," Gleigeal says. "He wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on you for what you are."

"So I am one then?" I say down the bond.

"I didn't say that," My dragon has a sense of humor that I'm not particularly fond of.

"When I manifested the light, I could feel his fear. I had my own of course, but he felt different. It kind of," I look for the words, raising my hand to my chest, "Seeped into my chest. Became one with mine."

"You felt it molding into one?" He asks, his brows furrowed in concentration as he listens intently.

"Yes and again last night. I wanted what was happening. But I could feel that he did too." I say. "At the moment, it was hard to dictate what was mine, but after thinking about it, the strands are different before they entangle."

"You absorbed his emotions and made them your own," He says and I nod.

"At one point, I think I subconsciously knew what was happening, because I pushed a thought outward and his anxiety disappeared for a moment," I explain, trying to recall every single moment.

"Interesting," He nods.

"He realized before I did and when he said it, it kind of made sense," I shrug my shoulders, fiddling with my shoelace now. I try to halt the rejection building in my chest, "He left like he was afraid of me."

Xaden clears his throat and leans forward, "He wasn't afraid of you. He was afraid of what'll happen to you if anyone finds out."

They'll kill me, I know. I don't want to say it out loud.

"I'm gonna help you control it, Ania. I won't let this be your downfall," He says and I nod.

Xaden and I spend the day in his room and Gleigeal cracks the channel open a tiny bit to practice sorting emotions.

"The biggest concern is that you take in too many emotions at once and combust, but you've gotten this far without having that issue, so I think we're in the clear there," Xaden says.

My eyes are closed and I'm sitting in the Riorson House library, watching the tendrils of Gleigeal's crimson power filter in through the window.

"Choose a color for your emotions so you know that they're yours. Everyone else's can be a different color," His voice sounds distant when I'm here. "What do you feel right now?"

"I feel mellow, I guess?" The mage lights in the library shift to a deep green color.

"I'm going to think on something and I want you to try and pick up on it," He says and I can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth slowly.

The library around me stays the same and I wait patiently to feel something. The sparks of Gleigeal's pattern brighten and I can feel him opening the channel further.

"Are you doing-"

My chest warms and I have to force myself to breathe after an overwhelming feeling settles over me. My fingers tingle and my heart rate picks up. The subtle feeling of fear laces with the warmth and my brows furrow. It's strong and I look around the library to try and find where it's coming from.

On one of the tables in the center of the library, under the evergreen lights, sits a book open to a page. As I approach the table, the feeling grows stronger. Small golden fibrils sprout from the pages, swirling around one another until they meet the green light from the mage lights.

I reach my finger out slowly, touching the golden strings and the feeling is immense.

It feels like home and finding your person after what feels like an eternity of searching. It's the hesitation before the first kiss. It's the unimaginable terror of losing everything in the process. The weight of responsibility you feel to ensure nothing will ever happen to those you love. It's unimaginably beautiful and equally terrifying.

"Cut it off," Xaden says and I do just that. I slowly close the book watching as the fibrils crawl back down into the page.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask once I open my eyes, but I think I know the answer.

He takes a beat and then sits back in the chair.

"Violet," I say softly.

His silence is the confirmation I need and I nod my head.

"That feeling," I pause and purse my lips, "I feel it too."

He nods his head and we sit in a comfortable silence for a moment.

"I trust that he'd take care of you," Xaden says finally, "Which is why I'm not bashing his head through a wall."

A breathy laugh falls off my lips and I look out the window, "Still protective as ever."

"It's the only way I can ensure everyone I care about is safe," Xaden says and I lock eyes with him. He cares about me.

"It aches sometimes, you know?" I shift the subject back to the original conversation. It's hard for him to talk about these things, I don't want to push it.

"Oh, I know," He sighs. "It'll sort itself out, little Alistair. Just give it time."

I'm not ready to fully admit it to myself, so I don't. But Xaden has caught on.

I don't ask him how he knows how to handle my signet, but I think I know. Something tells me that we might have it in common. I don't think he's exactly like me, but I think we'd both be killed if anyone found out.

"We'll meet as often as we can before I leave to try and get it a hundred percent under control," Xaden says when we stop in front of my door.

"Thank you for today," I say, looking up at him.

"Anytime, Ania," The tiniest smile etches on his lips, and then he's off.

When he's out of my line of sight, I see Violet and Rhiannon coming down the hall. They're whispering to each other, I'm sure about Xaden once again outside my room. And pulling me from maneuvers. He's pulled her plenty of times, but I know it's an issue when it comes to me. Because today, I got a glimpse into Xaden's head. She'll talk to me when she's ready, but I consider going to her first. I don't have it in my today, drained from training with Xaden so I seclude myself in my room.

Xaden's been helping me twice a week when he can, even if that means occasionally pulling me from class. I can now clearly decipher which emotions belong to me and which are foreign. I've even worked on pushing my own emotions onto him, which is much harder and takes a world of concentration, but he's confident with more practice I'll be able to perfect it.

He's leaving in ten days and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss him. He's like Beckett in so many ways and I wish he were still here to see it. If he hadn't been here to help me train my signet, I don't know what I would've done.

Today of all days is brutal for me every single year. It's been six years since my entire world went to shit.

Six years of no Aretia. No Riorson House. No Mom and Dad. No Beckett.

The book is open in the Riorson House library as I walk through the corridors toward Battle Brief.

As I pass several marked ones, I'm met with a plethora of feelings. Anger, sadness, and grief are among those most prevalent. I allow it to melt into my chest, merging into one with my own grief. This day is so different to us that have relics on our arms. I can feel the change in tone when I finally take my seat in the Battle Brief room.

I look around and Xaden catches my eye. He gives a small nod and I return it. I feel his also joining everyone else's settling in my chest. As I turn back to the front of the room, my eyes land on Bodhi.

We haven't spoken since that night the empathy manifested and I don't know if that's on my accord or his.

"Why is it you're choosing to torture yourself with the anguish of others," Gleigeal asks.

"It's not just theirs. It's mine too," I reply, tearing my gaze from Bodhi's.

"Do not make me close the channel," He threatens. "And stop with the longing looks at the one who betrayed you."

"Betrayed is an extremely strong word," I fire back. "Also, 'longing looks'?"

Gleigeal chuffs, "I do not take it lightly that he stranded you that night."

Yeah, me either. I also don't take it lightly that we're not speaking at the moment. I'm not really speaking to anyone at the moment. I see my squadmates in class and for maneuvers, but unless I'm honing my signet with Xaden, I'm locked away in my room. Ridoc stops in every couple of nights to check in on me, but other than that, I've distanced myself from them again.

The strand that I know is Xaden's shifts to a slightly different color, and I look around the room. Violet, who's sitting next to me seems to be lost in thought. I let her strand join the others and immediately release it when I feel the frustration. Are they arguing right now? She glances at me and I fix my sight back on Devera, though I'm not paying attention. My suspicion is confirmed when Xaden says her name loud and clear.

It's wrong of me, I know. I shouldn't be in their business, but I was just curious. It will not happen again, I can assure you.

Ridoc and Liam are sitting in my room- handsome as ever, later that night while I get ready for the Reunification Day celebration hosted by the King. I didn't think before I agreed to attend, but Liam somehow convinced me. Xaden insisted that I didn't have to go, but I'd feel bad leaving Liam as the only marked one there.

I had tried to let Ridoc braid my hair but all I got instead was a big knot that hurt to brush out. Liam took over, saying he learned how to on his little sister, Sloane, who'd be coming into the quadrant next year. Like Xaden, Bodhi, and I, he was separated from her.

The dress I'm wearing is floor-length, with a slit running up my right leg, that stops just below my hip bone. It hugs my body nicely and I actually take a moment to admire my curves in the mirror.

"You look hot," Ridoc says, earning a glare from me, "If I don't score with the healers, my door will be open tonight."

"In your dreams," I scoff, earning a laugh from him and Liam.

"Don't be fooled, Liam. Did Ania ever tell you about the time she ki-"

"Ridoc!" I scold him using my lesser magic to swing the door open. "Out!"

"I'm gonna go get a head start on making way with the healers," Ridoc winked before he exited my room, leaving a snickering Liam and I.

"I don't see you much anymore," Liam said after a few minutes of silence, "Everything okay?"

I shrug my shoulders as I look at my reflection in the mirror, "It's fine."

"If you want, we could meet up to train like we used to. Xaden kind of took over Violet duty so I have a little more time," He says with a small smile.

"Yeah, that would be nice," I force a smile, but I feel the tendrils of his sadness merging into my own. "It's really kind of you to join Violet tonight."

He shrugs his shoulders this time, "It's better than being sad and alone in my room."

"I think that's why I'm going too," I say as I stand up.

"You look beautiful, Ania," Liam says as he pulls my sash over my head and adjusts it.

"Not too bad yourself, Liam," I smile and link my arm with his when he offers it.

We exit my room and jog to catch up to the rest of our squad.

"You two clean up nice," I tease as we approach Violet and Rhiannon.

"Look at the two of you," Rhi teases, "If looks could kill."

"Violet," I give her a small smile. She looks stunning with her hair in an intricate arrangement and her dress fits her beautifully. I want to compliment her, but I don't know if it would fall flat.

"Hey, Ania." She nods in my direction and I awkwardly pull myself from Liam's arm with a sigh.

As we approach the courtyard, the music grows louder and louder. It's easy to forget other quadrants exist outside of the riders, but seeing the cream, light blue, and navy swimming amongst each other reminds me quickly. I'm walking behind Ridoc, Violet, and Rhiannon when it feels like a weight is thrown into the center of my chest. It knocks the air from my lungs and I have to hold the wall to steady myself. I reach for Liam's arm and he turns quickly to support me.

"I- I don't want to be here," I say just above my breath. I'm confused as to where this feeling came from. I had been excited to have a night with my squad, but now I want nothing more than to sit under a cold shower and catch my breath.

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asks and I shake my head rapidly.

"Stay with Violet," I say, pulling away from him.

"I need you," I call out.

"Meet me in the field," He replies.

My hands shake as I walk away from the party and back toward the Riders Quadrant.

As I'm passing through the courtyard, I can feel the fibrils from the book sprouting more and more out of control. It's too much. I took on too much for the day and I shouldn't have. Someone grabs my arm and I turn around pulling away quickly.

"What's wrong?" It's Garrick. I feel a pang of guilt for the way I'm about to ignore him.

"I'm going somewhere," I say as I back away from him. Xaden's strand shines a little brighter and I glance toward the opening of the Parapet where Garrick seems to be standing guard.

"Ania, wait," He calls out as I continue my path toward the field. He doesn't try to come after me and I'm thankful for it.

"I told you not to smother yourself with the misery of those around you," Gleigeal scolds and I finally cry out as I see him landing in the center of the field.

He lays his body completely flat and rests his head on the ground as I fall to my knees next to him.

"Ground yourself, Ania," He says with a gust of steam that blows my hair back.

I dig my nails into the grass, as a sob racks my chest. I let myself lean against his leg and close my eyes as I put myself in the Riorson House library.

The fibrils growing out of the book are out of control, a rainbow that shakes and rattles, each color dancing with the other. I reach for it, trying to slam it shut. It takes every ounce of my mental strength to slam it closed as a scream rips through my throat.

My chest hurts as I try to catch my breath. I let myself fully collapse against my dragon. My cheek is flush with the grass and Gleigeal nudges my back with his nose.

"Breathe," He urges.

I do as he says, taking a deep breath as I focus on how the soft grass feels between my fingers. My fingertips and palms glow against the blades of greenery and I close my eyes again.

"I understand you miss your family, especially today," He starts, "But if you risk your life again to take on the grief of your peers again, I will not be as kind about it."

My head bobs in understanding and I let my eyes close.

"I wonder if Beckett were here, would he be yours instead," I say out loud.

"Regardless of whether he was here or not, I knew that you were destined to be my rider long before you came into the quadrant," He says.

"You would like Beckett," I say softly. "He wanted to do what was right. It's what got him killed."

"To my understanding, I think I would have not minded his presence," He says and I laugh lightly. That's the closest I'll get to his agreement on this subject.

Gleigeal sits with me for I don't know how long. He lets me talk his ear off, occasionally responding to me. I tell him about Aretia and my parents. I speak of Beckett more than anything. And of our childhood spent at Riorson House. Most of all, I'm grateful that he's here for me.

A grumble resonates in his chest and he swivels his head towards the top of the flight field.

"Someone approaches," He says lowly. "The one who betrayed you."

"He didn't betray me," I roll my eyes, not even bothering to stand up.

"Ani," He slows his jog and looks down at me, "Garrick told me he saw you come out here, but he didn't want to bother you-"

"Because he could probably tell I didn't want to be bothered," I cross my arms over my chest.

"Let's go inside," He offers me his hand.

I glance up at him with a scowl, "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Please," He says softly.

"This will be the only time I agree with him. It is past my bedtime and sleep beckons me," Gleigeal says standing up. He barely gives me any time before he launches upward into the sky.

"I'll remember this later," I mumble down our bond.

Bodhi and I walk side by side, but I keep a distance between us. The memory of him pulling away from my touch sticks with me and I don't wish to relive it. I follow him mindlessly, focused on several different couples wandering around with each other, likely heading back to their rooms. A sigh leaves my lips and a part of me wishes I had stayed at the party. Maybe I would've found someone to bring back to my room or maybe I would've ended up in Ridoc's bed again.

"Can we talk? Please?" He asks as we stand in the courtyard. Either I say yes and go with him, or we part ways and I go back to my room. Xaden says that once he's gone, I'll be able to start helping Bodhi with the drops, which means a lot more time spent with him. Talking to him is probably the right thing to do if I want to avoid future awkwardness.

I do miss him. We were right on track to being okay again and then I went and fucked it all up. And ever since it happened, I can't stop thinking about how his lips felt against mine.

"Sure," I finally say.

He leads me back to his room and opens the door. He holds his hand out and I glance between his hand and face.

"Xaden warded my room. I have to pull you through." He says.

I hesitate before I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me through.

He gestures to his bed and I take a seat. I look around his room and it reminds me of Xaden's, just smaller. Maybe Bodhi will be a wingleader and get moved to a larger room.

He stands against the door, biting the inside of his cheeks. He's thinking about what to say and I wonder if I should be the first to talk. I've put my shields up so that I don't accidentally read him, or let him think I've read him or whatever it was that went wrong the night of the start of War Games.

"I'm sorry-"

"I just wanted to say-"

We both start and I bite back a laugh.

"I'm sorry that I left you that night," He finishes.

Shaking my head, I look down at my hands as I cross one leg over the other, "I should be the one apologizing."

"No," He says, "I left you. That is ridiculously unacceptable on my part. Regardless of how I felt, I thought I was helping by leaving."

Finding the right words is hard. I want to explain to him that I would never intentionally put my emotions onto him. I would never intentionally read him without his permission. There is so much to say but the words just won't come out.

"Please say something, Ani," his words are so quiet, if I were any further away I wouldn't have heard them.

"I understand why you left," I tell him, "I didn't mean to do what I did. Or whatever you think I did."

"What are you talking about?" He asks, stepping forward.

I rise to my feet, "I didn't push my emotions onto you. I wouldn't do that, Bodhi. But I understand that you left because-"

"No, no. Ani, what you felt were my emotions. That's why I left." He holds my gaze and I shake my head. "I didn't want you acting on what I wanted."

"Bodhi, you're not listening," I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, "That's not what happened."

"If you want me to beg for forgiveness, I will." He's on his knees in front of me within a second and my heart nearly stops. "But please don't shut me out again."

"Bodhi," It comes out as a whisper, "You don't understand."

"If you want me to grovel, I will. I will ask for it every day until I graduate." His voice matches mine, his hands ghosting over my thighs like he's stopping himself from touching me.

"What happened that night was both of us. Feeding off of each other," I say to him quietly, "I didn't push onto you, nor did you push onto me,"

I trail my finger against his jawline and then brush the curls off his forehead. The way his eyes scan my face nearly sends me into a spiral.

"Ani-" I shake my head and brush my thumb against his bottom lip. His lips part and he breathes out and I'm at a loss for words at the sight before me.

Bodhi Durran is on his knees in front of me.

"My shields are up. I'm not using my signet." I cup his jaw in my hand and lean down letting our noses touch. "Yet, I still want you all the same."

He swallows and allows himself to finally touch my thighs. His fingers trail up the slit in my dress and he tilts his head up to brush his lips against mine, but I pull away slightly.

"This fucking dress," He groans and he lets his lips brush against my upper thigh, right where the slit ends and my breath hitches.

"Look at me," I choke back a whine when he presses a trail of kisses from my knee back to my upper thigh.

"Ani this dress," He whispers against my skin and I have to pull his chin to look up at me. "I will never get over this dress."

"Then take it off."

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