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omgthatdress · 5 years ago

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How to make Cats a good movie.

I watched Cats, and once I got over the initial horror, I was actually pretty entertained and found myself enjoying the shit out of it. Like god bless it, for as nightmare-inducing as much as it was, Tom Hooper was clearly *committed* to his vision and you gotta give him credit for that. The scenery was actually really beautiful and the cinematography was frequently breathtaking. Like it really did have a lot of elements that really worked for it. But for every bit of genius, there was something terrible that the movie just couldn’t overcome. So let’s dive in.

First of all, you kind of have to understand Cats: the musical. It’s an adaptation of poems that T.S. Elliott of nihilistic lost generation fame wrote for his godchildren about cats. And the poetry is charming af and totally captures the nature of cats and why they’re so lovable. In the in the 1970s, Andrew Lloyd Webber did a shit ton of cocaine and decided to make a musical out of these poems. As a result, Cats has no plot. It’s a bunch of cats singing their songs about who they are and doing a lot of dancing. The thinnest of narrative devices is created with the “jellicle” ball and the deciding of which cat gets to ascend to heaven or some shit. So yeah. Cats is actually pretty controversial among theater nerds, it’s very much a you either love it or hate it thing. Is it stupid? Yes. Is it going to make everyone happy? No. Does it lend itself well to film adaptation? fuck no. I get the feeling that Tom Hooper was really going for deep, meaningful poetic cinema here and trying to make another Les Mis (which was way overly long and ultimately sank under its own sheer weight as a movie and probably is better viewed as a play). I’m operating under the assumption that Hooper was going for ground-breaking cinema that would have made millions and swept up during awards season and cemented him as a legendary director and gone down in movie history, because every little detail of Cats is clearly meant for maximum impact. You kind of need to drop all expectations going into Cats, so once you’re there, you can have fun with it. So how do you make it a good film?

1. The HORRIBLE hyper-realistic cgi human-cat hybrids. YES, it’s a technical marvel, and the CGI artists who made it all deserve a ton of credit for the work they did. And I understand why the actors were kept in their human shapes: live dance is a huge part of what makes Cats work. One of the smart decisions made was hiring theater veterans for the filler roles in the cat chorus, so when you have the choreographed numbers, it’s really spectacular. It’s just the end result was way too uncanny valley and bizarre for any of the film’s good parts to ever rise above it. I think a minimalist approach would have actually worked best. Cat ears and simple costumes with clean lines that show off the dancer’s bodies. Go for the suggestion of cats, and kind of let the viewer’s imagination take over, and showcase the cat’s personality. A huge part of what I enjoyed was hearing the poetry and imagining these cats and how they all relate to cats I’ve known. The dance and the music helped heighten this experience, but hybrids kept reminding me of the joke: what do you get when you cross a human and a cat? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

2. The schlocky, honestly amateurish attempts at slapstick humor. I’m gonna come out and say it and say that Hooper is pretty deeply entrenched in *dRaMa* and has no sense of how comedy works. There was a lot of added in comedic bits from Rebel Wilson and James Corden, and it was honestly terrible. I mean really, a crotch hit? That kind of lowbrow comedy is so crude and base that it’s actually really hard to pull it off well. Slapstick comedy actually lends itself to the whimsical tone, and slapstick done well can be utterly sublime, but Cats seemed satisfied that fat people falling over is the height of comedy and should be left at that. And a second note on the comedy? Weirdly fat-shame-y. A saw a post about how odd it is to see James Corden, who has been very frank about how he’s struggled with dieting and come to accept that his body is fat and can’t be made not fat, playing this role where fat is added to his body, his CGI vest strains at the buttons, and he’s literally stuffing his face with garbage. The theme of fat people as lazy, stupid, and slovenly carried over from Rebel Wilson’s role, in which she also plays a fat lazy cat who is leaned on heavily for comic relief. I know the role is about a fat cat, and gently laughing at a fat lazy cat who loves to eat is fine, but, speaking as a fat person myself, this felt like a gleeful exploitation of a nasty and cruel stereotype. James Corden and Rebel Wilson are both extraordinarily funny people who happen to be fat, and their comedic gifts were tremendously mis-used here, reducing them to simply two fat bodies to be laughed at.

3. Jennifer Hudson. She’s a talented actress who can sing and emote like a motherfucker. And emote she did. She was clearly GOING for that second Oscar. I really don’t want to call her performance bad. The same level of emotion, tears running and snot flowing, in another movie, would have been devastating (Hello, Viola Davis in Fences). But this isn’t Fences, it’s fucking Cats. You need a level of character depth and development that Cats doesn’t afford to make those tears hit. All the crying and misery was an odd maudlin and over-dramatic break in the fun and whimsy. With a subtler performance and a hint of self-awareness, it could have actually brought in an emotional anchor for this light-as-air film, but Cats doesn’t make any attempt at nuance, and as a result the scenes just hit you out of nowhere like a load of bricks.

4. Francesca Hayward. Okay, before we go anywhere, I want to say that this girl is not un-talented. She’s the principal ballerina of the Royal Ballet, and has a very long list of ballets that she’s lead in. So it makes sense that she’d be hired for a role that’s primarily ballet. This girl is a really really great DANCER. But Cats was clearly trying to make an A-list actress out of her. They tried to make her into Florence Pugh, who has been acting for a while and is blowing up right now because she’s very talented. Like everything about Francesca’s role in the film said “This is a star-making role.” A new song was written just for her to sing as an addendum to Cats’s show-stopping signature song. But the song was just okay, it didn’t carry nearly the emotional weight or all-around beauty of “Memories,” and all in all felt wedged-in and totally unnecessary and really just felt like a grab at that “best original song” Oscar. Francesca’s voice is high, thin, and child-like. It’s not unpleasant, but next to the richness and depth of Jennifer Hudson’s voice, it crumbles, and it’s not the sort of voice that I want to seek out to listen to over and over again. As for her overall performance, she largely keeps the same look of wide-eyed wonder throughout her numerous close-ups, so much so that I found myself thinking of the the MST3K “dull surprise” sketch. But I don’t know if that’s really entirely her fault. There was an attempted romantic storyline with the magic cat, but again, because of the nature of Cats and its lack of real character development or depth, the chemistry fell flat. There really isn’t much of a chance to show off a lot of dramatic range, so to keep going back to her character, it kept reinforcing the one-notedness of her performance. Really, I just kept wanting to see Francesca dance. Ironically, I think they really blew an opportunity trying to make an A-list actress out of her. All she really need to make people want to see more of her is one spectacular dance number, but for some reason, she never really gets that show-stopping moment.

5. Dignity? I guess this goes back to the whole CGI cat thing, but there were a lot of moments when I felt this tremendous wave of second-hand embarrassment hit me on behalf of the talented actors in this film. Watching Gandalf lap up milk from a saucer was a wholly uncomfortable experience, like come on, grant the great Ian McKellan some fucking DIGNITY here. Which goes back to whatI said earlier that a suggestion and interpretation of cats would have worked better than all-out just being a cat. Or it could again just be how much Cats just fails its attempts at comedy. But then again there was no fucking reason at all for Idris Elba to be that fucking NAKED. I guess they were trying to make him sexy? But his sexy smolder and just being Idris Elba wasn’t enough they had to make sure that we all saw his chiseled pecs and thick thighs. And then at the end when he’s dangling off of the rope of a hot air balloon and what’s supposed to be a funny scene, I think, I kept thinking “I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Idris.”

There’s a bunch of other small, nit-picky things that I could go into. Those cockroaches would have worked so much better if they weren’t humans with an extra set of arms. Watching them get eaten was some horror movie shit. Taylor Swift’s Macavity song would have worked a lot better if the cat chorus full of cats we’ve gotten to know had sung it, but instead Taylor Swift is brought in as a new cat we don’t know whose only purpose is to sing the Macavity song? but of course a big oscar-bait movie needs to have that pop star that draws in the people who wouldn’t otherwise see it and making her a part of the cat chorus would have had her performing throughout the whole movie and she would have floundered the way pop stars tend to do when performing musical theater around a bunch of musical theater actors. So I guess I get why she was thrown in.

So.... yeah? Is there anyone else who found themselves enjoying it in spite of everything? I’m glad I have dogs and didn’t have to watch this mess with actual cats around me.

#Cats 2019 #Cats

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aweebwrites · 6 years ago

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Celestial Influence Pt3

Pt2 of 2

Pt1

_____

Part 1 of Series

Part 2 of Series

__________________

Nothing happened.

Perhaps his calculations were off? He looked up and stared wide eyed at the wave.

"Cole." Zane says, shaking him.

"What? Are we dead?" Cole asked him then looked up too.

He gasped, realising that the wave was indeed here but it was washing over them. It was as if they and the Bounty were protected by a sort of invisible dome. The tsunami was so large that looking up, they couldn't see the sun. They were plunged in darkness, the only light coming from Kai and Nya at the upper levels of the dome. They only hoped Kai can stop this soon- Is that the leviathan? Lo and behold, there was the multi tentacled creature being swept up in the tsunami.

Kai smiled at Nya then ruffled her hair.

"Because you're my sister. And I love yah." He says with a grin, even as her eyes went wide.

Another tear fell from her eye before eye smiled.

_____

In New Ninjago City, everything was chaos. A million or more people were trying to evacuate the city, to outrun or out drive the massive wave heading right for them. A deafening clap of thunder drew their attention and they all looked up to see the two ninja there. Some cheered, begged for help even. Most kept trying to leave.

"How do we do this?" Jay asked, electricity sparking in his palms.

"We need to expand our shields over the city. Fast." Lloyd says and Jay looked at him alarmed.

"Over the entire city?!" He sputtered. "We can't-"

"We don't have a choice. Either we expand those shields or everyone down there gets swallowed by the tsunami." He says and Jay swallowed.

"Alright, alright. Let's do this." Jay says, rolling his shoulders.

Lloyd nodded and they both gathered more of their powers to their hands, closing their eyes.

'Ok, shield. Big shield. Shield big enough to protect the whole city!' Jay thought, already spiraling as his power began to fail.

'Focus Jay!' The lightning elemental startled as he looked over at Lloyd.

"You can-"

'We don't have time! I need your help!' Lloyd's voice came on his head again and he nodded quickly, taking Lloyd's hand.

'Here's to friendship!' He thought, stirring the energy inside him, gathering it all, thinking of the massive shield.

He felt their powers clash then combine, a rapidly expanding blue green barrier expanding from them, sparking with green lightning. The barrier felt like an extension of them. They felt the moment the water crashed against it on the outskirts of the city. They pushed more energy to the front of the barrier, preventing it from failing. They ignored the cheering of the citizens so they could keep their focus, ensuring that nothing leaked. They bore through it as the water kept pushing against the shield- then suddenly stopped. They opened their eyes to see the wave that almost completely covered the massive barrier began to draw back to the sea.

They both have a relieved laugh.

Kai did it.

___________

"I feel awful." Nya says later on that day, still focused on drawing back the excess water into the sea from the outskirts of New Ninjago City so Lloyd and Jay could drop their barrier.

"Tell me about it." Kai says as he dried the soaked articles Cole brought out of the ship, thinking back to where the Monastery was. "I wish unlocking these powers didn't cause so much damage…" He sighed.

"It is inevitable." Zane says, from aboard the ship that sat on the water, ensuring that everything was in working order. "At least no lives have been lost." He says as a plus side and they nodded.

"That's that." Nya says, dropping her hand and the shield came down later.

"Great job." Jay grimmed as they floated over.

"Alright. Everything is good- for now. The real question is how are we going to tell Sensei Wu about all this? Or at least about the Monastery so he knows not to go there?" Cole asked as he gathered the somehow intact scrolls that belonged to Sensei Wu.

"No, the real question is, where did Sensei Wu go?" Nya says and they looked at each other.

___________

Far away, at the peak of a very high mountain, the Sensei waited. The temperature was extremely cold here so he had to stop on his way here to buy clothes to keep his warmth. But that was the least of his worries. He heard the howling wind coming and looked out to see his destination approaching.

Blind Man's Eye.

If anyone had any idea of what was happening, it was the writers from the Cloud Kingdom. Once the eye was close enough, the Sensei took a breath.

"Ninja go!" He yelled, using airjitzu he took the time to learn to enter the Cloud Realm.

It was always somewhat disoriented to travel realms. When the feeling passed, he found a young monk waiting.

"We're so glad you came." Nobu ssys, relieved, helping Wu up. "Please, come with me." He says, leading him towards his skiff.

Wu follows behind, taking in the realm. It had been many years since he last visited after all.

"You have come about the ninja." Nobu says a while after, navigating his skiff towards the temple they wrote in.

"Yes." Wu confirmed. "Their powers, their very beings are evolving. I'm hoping for some answers. Perhaps even a clue." He says as Nobu docked the skiff, helping the Sensei out.

"We hope for the same." Nobu says regretfully.

"What?" Wu days, surprised and Nobu ushered him into the temple, other writers busy scribbling like normal.

"The phenomenon is unknown to us as well." Nobu began. "One day, the colour of the ninja's inks changed. Usually red would mean danger and ink disappearing would mean…" He shook his head.

"It was odd. Ink never glowed. Only when the ninja unlocked their true potential long ago. But the ink never stopped glowing. We kept writing and things continued as normal… But then, sometimes, words appeared on their own." He continued and Wu followed behind, troubled. "Now, we can no longer write for any of the 6 ninja. The words appeared on their own. Then Jay unlocked his strange power and the words stopped completely. We couldn't add more or remove anything. The parchment color changed too. Then your nephew, Lloyd followed. When I left to meet you, Kai had also followed." He says, leading him into another, more secure room.

"Head writer! Nya's scroll has also succumbed!" Nya's writer says anxiously.

"It's fine. There is nothing we can do for now." Nobu reassured then looked to Wu. "We had hope you would be the one to help us figure out this phenomena." He says, gesturing ahead and Wu looked up then gasped at the 4 floating scrolls of blue, green, red and a noticeably lighter blue.

They were floating above all, unable to be grabbed by the writers trying to reach it.

"... What is happening…" The Sensei whispered to himself, trouble.

"Oh no!" A writer yelled, gaining everyone's attention. "My scroll! It's glowing!"

______________

(TADA! This is it! It's late and I'm mad af at Tumblr for voting the original post as well as my notes I made about this fic. All I can remember is that Lloyd is the most powerful naturally, and that their powers overlap with the other EMs since they won't be going through the change. I have,,, big plans for Cole. But that'll be in like,,, the update after the next one. Or maybe the one after that. Either way, I'll have a lot of parts out for this. Feel free to shoot me an ask here or at @justsomerandomweebo about this if you have any questions!)

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kaithemasterof-fear · 6 years ago

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Ouija part 5

Just like his father

When he finally came home, he was exhausted beyond what he’d ever been before. Even those weeks in a row where he barely slept couldn’t compare to the crazily low energy level he had right now.

When he came inside his mom was all over him, asking him what had happened, where he’d been, if he was okay and basically every question in the book. He wanted to just break down, right there in front of her, telling her about everything, but he just couldn’t. He was way too exhausted, so all she got was a quick “I’m fine. Just tired.” Before he slipped past her and went to his room where he immediately crashed on his bed.

A loud thud came from the corner of his room, his eyes shot open. Nothing was there. Weird. He checked the time on his phone. It read exactly 3:00 AM. He felt dizziness wash over him as the memories from the previous night washed over him, before he shook it off. After all, there was nothing to be seen. He gave a deep sight and layed back down again and closed his eyes, the tiredness quickly returning as the panic left.

Then he heard another thumb, louder, this time right beside his bed. He froze. The feeling of being watched, so strong it made him feel nauseous. He shut his eyes close even further, not daring to look. At around this time last night he would’ve felt stupid for being so scared, but right now he’d say it was acceptable.

He laid there in silence without anything happening and he’d just started to relax when he heard a loud thumb, right next to his head. Then he felt af cold, sharp nail run over his skin on his face. He froze completely in place, shutting his eyes so much it hurt.

The nail ran down his face, following his chin, running up to his lips, caressing them, slowly and gently. Lloyd felt like throwing up, the nausea growing stronger and stronger. He felt dizzy, as if someone had shut him off from the whole world. As if he was in a daze. He still refused to open his eyes. Heck even if he wanted to, he probably couldn’t.

Then, all of a sudden he felt a sharp pain shoot through his lover lip, as the nail bore into it. He gasped in pain, sitting up. His eyes shut open and he comes face to face with- nothing. Nothing was there. He took in a few deep breaths trying to calm himself. He must’ve fallen asleep after all.

He looked at his phone. Exactly 3:00 AM. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusing. The panic slowly sneaking back- No. He shook his head. It was just a dream. He laid back down and closed his eyes. Trying to convince himself that he was safe.

Then he heard a loud thud from the corner of the room. His eyes shut open, and he jolted up into a sitting position facing the corner, as he had done the previous night. Which, he hadn’t really thought about that part before now. And just like the other night, he came face to face with the figure standing there. And to Lloyd’s horror, it started moving towards him, again.

And for some stupid reason, he was yet again frozen in place.

Again. Again. Again. Again. It was all just the same.

However, this time, it didn’t crawl upon him. Instead, it started moving to the side of his bed. Lloyd followed it with his eyes, starring in panic as the figure got closer and closer. Until it was right beside his head. Then it started running it’s nail down his face, following his chin, running up to his lips, caressing them, slowly and gently.

Lloyd knew what came next. He used all of the energy he had, which really wasn’t much, to break free of his frozen position, but he’d barely moved an inch before the figure, in anger over his movement, dug it’s nail into his lip.

Lloyd yelped in pain, or well, tried to. But everything was dark, he couldn’t move, and there was a sudden ringing filling his ears, that wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t feel anything.

Well, anything except for the burning pain in him lip as he felt as if a nail lightly cut through it, down to the bottom of it. The ringing got louder. Then he felt a cold- hand?- Caressing his face. He didn’t know if anything else happened. The ringing was now so loud, it made him numb.

Lloyd’s first priority had always been to survive. All of his instincts were always telling him how to survive. Even on his darkest of days. But right here, right now, in the darkness with the numbness from the ringing. He just wanted to die.

He felt numb, he felt as if he was already dead, but never had he been so aware that he was alive.

_________________________

Kai’s phone lit up. Vibrating lightly on the table. Of course Lloyd finally decided to call now that he'd had to go back to class. He thought bitter, but couldn't help the wave of relief washing over him.

At least that meant that Lloyd was alive. Kai had been trying to call him all day, but had gotten no response.

He carefully sneaked his phone into his pocket and waited a few seconds before raising his hand.

“Excuse me miss, but may I go to the bathroom?” The teacher looked at him for a second before turning back around.

"No, you'll have to wait." Kai held back a groan. The phone still vibrating against his side from his pocket.

Lloyd finally wanted to talk and then he couldn't even pick up the damn phone.

As soon as he got out from class he checked his phone. Just one missed call from Lloyd. That was all. No message, no second call, nothing.

He sighed and pressed call. Praying that Lloyd would pick up. “Hey, you've reached the voicemail-” Of freaking course. Wonderful. He thought bitterly as he put the phone back into his pocket. He stood for a moment, before he made a decision.

He’d just have to visit Lloyd.

Usually Lloyd wasn’t much for visits on his bad days, and he especially was not for visits during his bad weeks, but Kai didn’t really feel like Lloyd left him with much of a choice. Besides, he had called him back, so that must mean he wanted to talk. Right? Yes.

However, when Kai was at Lloyd’s home, he felt himself hesitate. Yesterday was still pretty vivid in his memory. Whatever had happened and for whatever reason, Lloyd had attacked him. Maybe he was starting to become like his father? Kai quickly pushed that thought away. No. Lloyd would never be like his father. Lloyd was his best friend. Lloyd was good. He’d just- had a bad day, that was all.

He raised his hand and knocked on the door. He stood there for a while, before he heard the lock klick, then the door open a little. Just enough so that he could see about an inch of Lloyd's face, but from just that little he could see Kai could tell that this was for sure a bad day.

“Hey.” He tried, not really expecting anything in response and really it wouldn't surprise him if Lloyd just closed the door on him- but he didn't- instead the opened the door for Kai to come in. He hesitated for half a second before entering.

Lloyd carefully closed the door without saying anything or even making eye contact. Kai couldn't help but notice how absolutely exhausted he looked.

Kai started walking towards the couch, but Lloyd's voice stopped him and he spun around to look at him.

“Yesterday. About that, I'm.” He sighed. “I'm really sorry, Kai, I didn't mean to- what are you even doing here?”

“You didn't pick up your phone. I wanted to check on you.”

“Oh-” Kai couldn't help but feel sad at Lloyd's reaction. He seemed genuinely surprised that Kai wanted to check on him.

“About yesterday, sent worry about it. No harm done.” Silence. Complete silence. “So, are we cool?”

“You're asking me that?” Lloyd's expression read utter confusion, but there was a hint of sadness to spot for one who was trained in reading him, which Kai should say he was by now.

“Yeah, Lloyd, I'm asking you.” Lloyd just shrugged. It was just now Kai noticed the cut at his lip. “Lloyd what happened to your-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But are you-”

“I'm fine Kai don't worry about it.”

“Lloyd you're obviously not fine. Something is wrong. Please tell me-”

“I'm fine Kai. Just leave me alone.” Lloyd opened the door so suddenly and said it with such a violence, that Kai couldn't help but take a step back in shock. A flash of regret and guilt crossed Lloyd's face before he made a gesture to the door.

“Please leave.” He sounded almost begging, and Kai didn't know what else to do than what he told him to.

“Call if there's anything.” Lloyd just nodded, but when Kai passed him, he saw him shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

Something was for sure wrong.

-------------

Hope you like it!! :D

#floyd garmadork #ninjago #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #the green ninja #lloyd #ninjago lloyd #tlnm #ouija

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binickandros · 4 years ago

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#it's almost impressive how a 2020 version of the stand has a more reductive view on fran than the 1978 book#she has less agency less personality less of a purpose#there are times i was sure she was rewritten to make harold more sympathetic

Oh absolutely, re: the last point. Like she wasn’t interested in him, and that’s uhhhh understandable and her right, but wow they surely did make her bitchy about it, didn’t they??? Just feeding into that “poor misunderstood nice guy rejected by the love of his life” vibe they were going for w Harold. And by making Stu such a non-character, you didn’t really understand what drew them together or made them such a good fit. I mean he was damn fine lookin, but otherwise...??

This adaptation really leaned into the virgin/whore dichotomy that we should be so far beyond in 2020. Like not literally obviously since Fran was pregnant but was in the “virgin” category, and Nadine was a virgin and in the “whore” category, but like...besides Mother Abagail, there were basically 4 female characters, and Rae was practically a non-character. So Fran: virgin mary. Nadine: actual virgin who was somehow also a whore, and a murderous one. Julie Lawry: a lying whore, duping poor Lloyd (I say this tongue-in-cheek, because frankly that was smart af) and using him for his power and position.

I keep saying it, but basically Fran just got to sit around looking small and wan. Then she had a baby and fell down a well and had a bunch more babies. What a departure from book!Fran.

Stop letting nerdy white men adapt things 2k21 challenge.

So Fran’s entire purpose is........ motherhood

Look. I don’t have a problem with women choosing to be mothers and it’s not anti-feminist to be a mom and have a bunch of kids and stay home and raise them, but....

She’s p much the only female character here, so??????? She’s basically been “damsel in distress” and “mom,” and that’s basically it.

It’s a Choice, as so many things in this adaptation are

#the stand #frannie goldsmith #I'm a little out of it this morning #so this isn't my best meta #or whatever #but the female characters #were so poorly done #worse than book #written by STEPHEN KING #in 1978 #that's hard to do y'all #also food for thought:#nick andros female coded and part of why he was sidelined????

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randoreviews · 5 years ago

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LEE INTERVIEW 2

Ben: So yeah, again, these are like really simple questions. No real brain busters. Should I just start? Lee: Yeah, just dive right in, man. Ben: Okay, cool. So what was the last thing you had to eat? Lee: Ahh, this morning I had some breakfast, I made some... potatoes, some scrambled eggs, with a little bit of creme fraiche in em and some cilantro and some sausage. Ben: Oooo! Lee: And then I hit it with a little green Tabasco. Ben: I was gonna ask you any ketchup but green Tabasco, okay. Lee: Yeah, green Tabasco. It's the only way to fly. Ben: Nice. And I was gonna ask you what was the last thing you had to drink, but I can join it up with this question: did you have coffee this morning and how was that? Lee: Yeah, I have coffee every morning. Ben: Does it make you, like, wanna listen to heavy metal or? Lee: No, just a pleasant way to ease into the day, I find. Come down and throw on a pot. Feed the dog. Let the dog out. By the time all that's done there's a fresh hot pot a coffee waiting for me. And just sip on that for a while. Ben: Nice. So in general it usually relaxes you? Cuz I know sometimes for me it can give you that gentle boost you need or like for me it'll make me wanna do like twenty different things at once and plan a trip around the world. Lee: Yeah, I think the jitters is what they call that. But ah, I'll just avoid drinking it late at night, other than that it keeps me rollin through the day. Ben: Yessir. Cool. So when was the last time you had a Pop-Tart? Really random question. Lee: Pop-Tart? God I feel like it was actually more recent than you would think, but I can't put my finger on when it woulda been. I feel like Pop-Tarts were in my life fairly recent... Oh yeah, cuz my fiance's brother is big into Pop-Tarts, so I think when he was out here earlier this fall he had a little stash and then when he left I think there were a Pop-Tart or two leftover. So I'm gonna say it was probly sometime possibly after Thanksgiving but before Christmas. If you can believe that. Before that it was prolly... ten years? Ben: I can, yeah. Cool, so pretty recently, I knew there was a reason I asked you that. Lee: Oh, yeah. Very timely question. On point as always. Ben: Haha. Those things will last twenty years in the cupboard. May as well not let em go to waste anyway. Lee: No. In fact I'll probly go back inside and check and make sure I didn't miss any on my last round. Ben: Haha. Okay. I have just so many random questions just scribbled down. What one makes sense next. Lee: That's cool. Ben: Arrre youuu watching any shows right now with your fiance, since you just mentioned her. Any Columbo. Lee: No, we haven't... well, I'll take that back, sooo... we both enjoy The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on... Netflix, I believe? No, it's not Netflix, it's Amazon. Ben: Yup. Lee: Yeah, that's a really good show and I think they only have like two or three episodes left in the, I guess it's the series. It's definitely season 3 maybe but I don't think they're makin another one after that. Ben: I've heard it has great costumes. Lee: Yeah, great costumes, great set design. The dialogue's just... razor sharp. (starts laughing to himself) Ben: Haha, yup. Lee: And it's a pretty unique concept or storyline or however you wanna put it, it's not something I've seen anything like before so... Ben: And that's about the housewife who becomes a standup comedian? Lee: Yeah, pretty much. Yup. Ben: Okay, okay. Is she your favorite character in the show? Lee: She's great. She's also got this lady who plays her manager who's (starts laughing to himself again) pretty hilarious at times. And then, oh, maybe you can help me with this one -- her dad is played by the guy who was in that show, you would know his name. He was in, I wanna say he was in The Man Who Wasn't There but I can't put my finger on where he woulda been. But he played that like neurotic detective on some TBS show I can't remember. Ben: Huh. Okay. I don't think I can remember? But I'm just gonna look it up and I'll include it in the transcript of the interview. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001724/ Lee: Yeah, but his character is probably my favorite of the bunch. Ben: Nice. So Mrs. Maisel and no other shows right now? Lee: No. No, we try to avoid the TV as much as possible which we do a really good job at but every once in a while we’ll watch... we watched Clue? The movie Clue last night from 1985? Ben: Oh I love that one. Lee: Yeah, it's the first time I'd seen it. Ben: Oh, it's great. Great ensemble cast. Lee: Yeah, Christopher Lloyd and the guy whose name I don't remember but I think he was in like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ben: Tim Curry. Lee: Tim Curry, yeah. He was really good. I didn't recognize anyone else, I think. Ben: Yeah. And then the maid. I've seen it a couple times but when you're really young that maid with the great cleavage, it's like, I like this movie. Lee: Lotta great cleavage in that movie, to be honest. I pointed that out as we were watchin it, I was like, yeah... pretty decent amount of cleavage. They knew what they were doin back in the 80s. Wouldn't get away with that now, I'll tell you that much! Ben: Yup, yup. Lee: So yeah, that's about it. Ben: That's a good one, man. So keeping on this same line of questions: last movie you saw in the theater?? Lee: I do actually know the last movie I saw in the theater is I went to see Joker. Ben: Nice. Lee: And I was thoroughly disappointed in that movie, I didn't like that at all. Ben: Really? You thought it was overdone? Lee: Uh, yeah, it's just, I didn't find it at all... interesting, or compelling or... I dunno. Like I just didn't understand why I was sittin there watchin it. And I love Joaquin Phoenix, I think he does a great job in everything I've seen him in but I didn't find his performance all that interesting, or I didn't find the character of the Joker the way they wrote it all that interesting either. I've heard it compared to like Taxi Driver before but it was basically the same story, this kind of loner, isolated, gets a little obsessed with the wrong things and all of a sudden he's crazy. Ben: Right. Yeah. And that was the last movie you saw in the theater? Lee: Yeah... I think so. And then before that Christopher Robin. Ben: Cool, haha. How was that? Lee: That was a great movie. I'll take Christopher Robin over Joker any day of the week. Ben: Hahaha. Lee: What are you laughin at? Ben: Did you see that with your nephew or with your fiance? Lee: Well she was not my fiance at the time but uh, we had just started dating and we went and saw that and, both enjoyed it. Ben: Nice. Have you been listening to any music? Lee: Mmm, gash. I meaaan... a little bit. We'll throw on some tunes around the house every now and then. Ben: Do you have a speaker system or like a bluetooth speaker err? Lee: Yeah, like a little bluetooth speaker, which is fairly decent, it just kinda fills up the room. And then if I'm workin out I'll put on somethin in the headphones just to supplement the coffee, so I feel like I can take on the world. But it's been a long time since I've consistently listened to music, I'm more into podcasts and stuff these days. Ben: Yea, I think that's like a lot of people. What are your favorite podcasts? Lee: Uumm... geez louise... aahh... my favorite podcast is called Part of the Problem by a guy named Dave Smith. And it's sort of a equal parts I guess political and current events. Ahh... what would you call it. I dunno... discussion, or whatever. Ben: Discourse. Lee: Huh? Ben: Discourse? Lee: Yeah, well it's him, Dave Smith, who actually got his start in and still is a standup comedian, so he's got a really good talent of bein able to sort of dissect political news, current events news and then put a usually pretty funny take on it. And if not he's just an incredibly interesting guy and has a take that I sort of identify with more often than not, so... Ben: Is he our age or older err? Lee: Actually, yeah, he's exactly our age, I believe, he's 36, 37. Your birthday's comin up, what, next week, right? Ben: Uh, yeah, I guess it's kinda been in my mind but, I'll be celebrating by myself. Lee: Are you ready? Ben: Yeah, 37! Seems like a fine age, ya know? Lee: It is a fine age, to be sure. Ben: Yeah, yeah. Just keep on learning little things, little improvements. Lee: Yup, every day. Ben: Soo... podcasts, so yeah, any others besides the Dave Smith one? Lee: Umm... I mean, yeah, I mean I've sort of got my little Rolodex that I'll roll through from time to time, this guy Tom Woods I like listenin to a lot. I've actually been pretty good at eliminating podcasts from my diet, not addin em, just kinda cuttin out the riffraff. Ben: Some podcast pruning? Lee: Yeah, exactly. The Joe Rogans of the world have no place in my heart anymore. Ben: Shh, I was just thinking the other day about isn't it crazy Joe Rogan is like the Walter Cronkite of our generation? Lee: Haha, yeah, I know, but he's such a fucking douche too. Not that Cronkite wasn't a douche but... Ben: It's like, can you picture Walter Cronkite being into jiu-jitsu, I mean, tha'd be pretty great, but... Lee: That would be pretty great. And like slammin DMT and smoking like insane amounts of weed and basically just agreeing with everybody on his podcast, everything they say all the time. Ben: Haha, ahh, him saying JFK was assassinated and then immediately smoking a joint right on TV, that would have been great. Lee: Yup, and then comin up with some conspiracy theories and then backtracking completely within the next 24 hours. Ben: Haha. Well another little random question at the top here is, how do you get your news? Is a lot of it through podcasts or? Lee: Umm, yeah, well what I consider news is not what used to be considered news, like I don't really get day-to-day news because it's all so preposterous and I mean it doesn't affect anybody's life really in any way other than some major stuff, ya know, issues of war and peace and issues like global pandemics, those are gonna affect you much more than, ya know, if you just sort of think back on the last ten to twenty years of what the news cycle consisted of it's just largely preposterous and irrelevant and usually not even true and when it is true it's so quickly spun into a cause or some, you know, political stance, it's like, I'm kind of pruning podcasts and I'm also pruning unnecessary information or opinion out of my life as much as possible and really been enjoying that so, I just gotta find really people I trust and usually not even from a news perspective but if they are discussing something it might pique my interest to look into it a little bit. I'm still stickin with things like theory over day-to-day, you know, I'll prefer to read economics or history or something rather than turnin to the news because I feel like you can learn so much more about patterns and humanity and what not by doin it that way. Ben: Right, right. Your degree is in philosophy, right? Lee: Yes. Ben: Yes, cool. So yeah, the day-to-day politics is pretty much just like watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge, it's just like all drama, people talking shit about each other behind their backs, people tweeting nasty things... Lee: Yeah, but I don't want the takeaway of this to be that the Real World/Road Rules Challenge isn't a fantastic show because it is. Ben: Haha. Lee: Honestly, I think that was a terrible comparison that you just made? I THINK I get where you're comin from but...? Yeah, it's just so dumb, it's not only that it does not seem true or accurate or important at the time but, what?, less than, what, 72 hours usually it's just like, nobody's talking about it anymore, nobody cares, nothing has changed. I just feel like it's a really great way to fill your life with a whole bunch of unnecessary anxiety and anger and animosity towards other people or other groups or whatever it is, it's just like a really awesome way for you to distract yourself from what actually should be at the front of your mind which is what you're doing on a day-to-day basis and the health and well-being of your family and close friends and, sorta how you can contribute to makin the world a little bit better and makin yourself a little healthier and happier and the people you love happier as well. Just don't have any time for it. Ben: Right. You don't have any time for, “Nancy Pelosi ate Mitch McConnell's ice cream out of the fridge” and uh... Lee: Haha, “She drank his milkshake!” No, I don't, I mean every once in a while I'll kinda click somethin, tune back in, just to remind myself how... how... just the word I keep using is how preposterous it all is and how much weight some people put on it and like I said it just becomes such an unnecessary energy suck and soul suck and just, yeah... No need! Ben: Yeah, yup... So what are your go-to apps? What apps on your phone do you find yourself using the most? Lee: That's actually interesting, I sort of am gonna contradict myself but there’s an app I use called Newsvoice which, I liked it a lot better when I started using it, now I feel it's not quite as cool, but it used to just be an app that would compile headlines, you know, local, international, national, whatever, and it would offer, say, for every story it would give you five or six different headlines from different, um, organizations with different political leanings, so you'd get like a HuffPo article and then you'd get a, you know, Wall Street Journal and you'd get the same story covered four or five, six different ways, which is kind of a cool way to avoid unnecessary bias. So that's one I've kinda been hittin up a little. I've really been enjoying everyone's hot takes on the Facebook app with this Coronavirus, just really gettin a sense of (starts laughing) how everybody's reacting. That's really enjoyable. Ben: Yup, yup. So Newsvoice and Facebook? Lee: Yup, I like those. And then you know, I do all my mobile banking and bill paying through apps, so I got apps for those. Ben: Useful... useful. Lee: Yup. What else? Oh, Golf Clash. That's a great one. I play a little Golf Clash when the time is right. Ben: Golf Clash, niiice. If you hit a good ball on that is it like do you feel it in your body still? Lee: Oh, it'll let you know. They'll yell great shot at you or perfect shot and it's like, my entire day has been validated. Ben: Haha, nice. All right, soo... going back to the music question, I know you said you're not listenin to too much music but what was the last concert you saw? Lee: Ooo. Wow... Ahh... Honestlyyy... unless I can remember something else, I think it was the Rancid and Mighty Mighty Bosstones New Year's Eve bash in Los Angeles. Ben: Nice. Where was that? What was the venue? Lee: That was aaat... oh god, if you rattle off a couple of the big ones around there I'll remember it. Ben: Ehhh, I'm blanking on those, there's the Hollywood Bowl of course but it was probably at a smaller club. Lee: No, it wasn't that, it was an indoor venue. Ben: The El Raaayy. Lee: No, it's recongizable but I can't remember what it was. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrine_Auditorium But that can't be right though because that would have been like... four years ago at least? Ben: Yeah, and when did we go to that Weezer/Panic at the Dis... maybe I shouldn't even mention Panic at the Disco but when did we go to that Weezer show, was that four or five years ago? Lee: You mean when Weezer opened up for Panic at the Disco? Ben: Ohh god, no, no, Panic at the Disco opened up for Weezer. Lee: “STOP SMOKING!” Ben: Hahahah... oh gosh. We didn't really fit in with the Panic at the Disco fans. Lee: No, but was that after? Cuz honestly, man, my timeline is so blurry and like out of sorts that you could literally pick an event within ten years and another one within ten years and I couldn't tell you which came first, with like a four-year margin of error. It's pathetic. Yeah, I don't remember. I honestly don't remember. Ben: Yup, but that Rancid/Bosstones New Year's show was pretty good? Lee: Oh, it was awesome, man. I was like thirty rows or, it wasn't rows cuz everyone was standing up but I was probly about thirty heads deep, so great view of the stage and what I considered close but I was like, well this will be certainly out of the way of any aggressive moshpit that might break out. So I was just kinda sittin there waitin for the show to start, sippin my beer, Rancid comes out, and like the FIRST note they play, which is from “Maxwell Murder” cuz they played ... And Out Come the Wolves from start to finish, first bass note I just get a fucking forearm to the back of my head and my beer goes flying like six rows up. I was like, well this is on! Ben: Haha. Lee: I kind of fought my way out of it but basically just retreated another thirty rows and, enjoyed the rest of the show. Ben: Nice. Got another beer, I hope. Lee: Got another beer or two, although I did have to be, that was when I was doing the PI work so I had to be like downtown at like six in the morning for some surveillance thing, and the show basically didn't start until almost midnight, so I didn't get insanely intoxicated or anything cuz I was trying to be responsible cuz I had to be at work the next day. But it was a blast. Ben: I think the Rancid lead singer... Tim Armstrong? Lee: Yup. Ben: I think he lived in our neck of the woods. I think he lived in Highland Park. Lee: Yeah, he did, I think he lived in Highland Park and that bar that Heather used to work at, she said he used to go there quite a bit and just hang out. Ben: Yup, I love that place. Lee: Eedendale or Ed-endale? Ben: Edendale, yup. Tom Mix, Casey Mix's grandfather's old stopping grounds. Lee: Isn't it crazy how you can remember like these minute little details like that but you ask me like what year something took place and I'm like, I have no idea, I think it was some time in the 90s but I could be wrong about that. Ben: Haha. I think Zack de la Rocha from Rage Against the Machine also lived in Highland Park/Eagle Rock area. Lee: Yep... yep. Although I think he's about to move up because from what I hear, the crazy anarchist/socialists of Rage Against the Machine are reuniting to go on like a CitiBank tour or something (starts laughing). Ahh, that's so fucking depressing. Ben: Haha. They're finally taking the corporate money. Lee: Well everyone's gotta make a living, ya know? Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Ben: Haha. So are you reading any books? Lee: Umm... actually no, I'm not. I've been sort of lookin around for a book around here that I haven't read but I feel like every book I have I've read at least once or twice. I kinda want something new but of course the libraries are shut down. Ben: Right. You want something fiction or nonfiction or? Lee: Yeah, I don't read fiction. I haven't read any fiction since I think R.L. Stine back in the day. Ben: Haha, gotcha. Lee: I just find nonfiction a lot more interesting. So yeah, I’m not reading anything and I'm ashamed to say it, because it's a great time to read. Ben: Yes... indeed... uuumm... so what was the last alcoholic beverage you had? Do you like to have a drink some nights err? Lee: Oh yeah, oh yeah. Typically my go-to has always been whiskey. But I was talkin to a colleague at work and he was sayin that he just really enjoys drinking tequila and I was like well I’ve never really had a taste for tequila and he just started talking about how great it was and then I was like well shit, maybe I should give tequila another try, so last couple nights I’ve had a little bit a tequila, which is... somewhat enjoyable. Still not my thing but... Ben: Yeah. It gives you energy, I think it’s the only... upper? Lee: Yeah, the only upper, stimulant, whatever. That’s what he told me and I was like, well that doesn’t make sense cuz it’s alcohol and alcohol is a depressant all the time, it just depresses your nervous system. So then I looked it up, er, googled it, and it was like a super non-clear, vague answer and it was like, well while it technically is a stimulant it’s also ethanol which is also a depressant. And I’m like, well what the fuck does that mean? But I did notice that when I was drinkin it, we were sittin there playin Yahtzee and I was like fired up. Ben: Right? Lee: I dunno. I dunno if it’s just fired up just cuz of the Yahtzee and I thought it was gonna be lame and I fuckin loved it. But I was super into it and I was kinda shakin my leg a little bit like, yeah, let’s do this, let’s play some more Yahtzee and I was like, is this the Tequila that’s doing that or is this the Yahtzee or am I just like in a really good mood. Ben: I think that’s what tequila does cuz I HATED tequila, never drank it, I remember sitting next to a girl at a party at Saint Mike’s and her breath, she was drinking out of a big bottle of tequila and her whole being just wreaked of cheap tequila. And I think I was like nineteen or twenty at the time so I was like, that is the worst smell I’ve ever smelled, I’m not going anywhere near that. Flash forward to Clapp’s 30th birthday, we went to the Clippers game at Staples Center and then afterwards we were at a bar downtown and someone ordered Patron shots for everyone and I was like, I dunno if I can do this. And then we do the shot and then like twenty minutes later, two or three more shots and people are like dancing on the tables. A little bit different than sippin on scotch, so... Lee: Yeah, well the other pointer that this guy gave me was, you know, most booze you can usually get away with drinking cheaper stuff out of a plastic bottle or somethin, if you wanted to buy some cheaper whiskey out of a plastic bottle you should be fine but he was like, just don’t ever do that with tequila. If you’re gonna do it just make sure it’s somewhat decent stuff and it’s in a glass bottle. I have no way to confirm whether what this guy’s saying is accurate or not. But tequila does seem to be...a bit of an enigma for me, so I might try to get to the bottom of it a little more. Ben: Nice. Let’s seee.... How’s the dog doing? Lee: Dog’s great, man! Dog is absolutely great. He’s settled in beautifully. For the first few months we had him he was a little bit, um... I dunno if neurotic’s the right word but he definitely was a little bit more on the nervous side and it takes a while to build up trust obviously, and we couldn’t take him off the leash, we live backed up against a pretty wide open area of land where we would love to walk him but we really couldn’t take him off the leash and it would suck because it’s such a great place for the dog to run around and we just never knew when he would come back and blah blah blah. Ben: Yep. Lee: And he would not let you like sorta touch his collar, he wouldn’t bite but he would let you know, like a little fake snap or whatever if you touched his collar. He drooled a lot. But right around month 3? He just like totally settled in. And now every day twice a day we just kinda walk around, whether it’s backwoods or on the street, off leash, and he kinda just like trots up ahead, looks back at us, waits for us to catch up. And then if we yell, if we say “Here” he kinda turns around and comes runnin back towards us. If we say “Stay” or “Wait” he just sits there. He sleeps, he’s like the most cuddley dog of all time, you can’t be anywhere near him without him coming up and putting his face on your lap. I think he’s gotten better looking too, to be honest with you. When we first got him I didn’t think he was very cute, but I think he was just carrying a lot of stress in his face. Ben: Right. Lee: And his face sorta always seemed a little bit tight or contorted as if he was unsure. But now he just kinda melts into everything he does. And he’s super cool. And he’s gained fifteen pounds since we got him, which is awesome, because he was really underweight. Ben: Nice. Yeah, was he a rescue? What’s his name, by the way? I’m forgetting his name. Lee: He is a rescue. His name when we got was Chance and we were like, well that name sucks and so we changed it to Bojo. B-O-J-O. Yeah, he was a rescue who apparently spent like the first year or two at some shelter down south in Colorado, this place had like no money, they kept him outside in like a coat year-round, which is rough here in Colorado, it gets cold in the winters. And then he was transferred up to another shelter up here and like no one would adopt him. We dunno why now cuz we look at him and we’re like, we have the perfect dog, we’ve got the best dog of all time. And I know everyone thinks that about their dog but... he really is cool... Ben: He’s a mix? Lee: Yeah, we were actually thinkin about doing one of those dog DNA tests because he’s soo like, he looks... we think he’s a boxer/lab mix, he kinda looks like that. But he also looks like he might have some Mastiff in him, and he’s got some tendencies of some other breeds, so I dunno, it would just be kind of a cool thing to know exactly what he is but... We just tell people boxer/lab. Ben: Yeah. That sounds like a handsome dog. Lee: Yeah, he’s a real handsome fella. Ben: You’ve earned his trust and... nice. Lee: Yeah. And we trust him too now which is super cool, we can just kinda walk around the woods together and just have a good old time. Ben: Nice. Yeah, you’ve always been a dog person. Lee: Yeah, I think they’re great. I just think they’re great. Ben: Haha. So what’s the weather like in Colorado? Lee: Uh, it’s pretty much beautiful. It’s kind of annoying because the winters are SUPER long and like by the end of it you’re just ready for it to be over and you think spring’s comin because it gets like sunny and mid-forties for a couple days. And then you’ll get like three days of snow and everything that melted’ll just come right back. Ben: Yeah. Lee: So that’s kinda where we’re at right now, where you can hear snow melting off roofs but there’s still basically snow covering, you know, ninety percent of the surfaces. But it’s like sunny and 45 or something today, so... yeah. Just kinda hopin it stays that way. I’m ready for spring now, I’m a summertime guy. Ben: Yup. Have you seen any signs of spring, any flowers er...? Lee: No flowers but there’s definitely some wild grasses showing, and the sagebrush you can actually see the tops of it now. It’s not like blooming or anything but it was just buried in snow for the last seven months so it’s kinda cool to see some open patches of grass and some sagebrush and... more birds. Stuff like that, so... definitely some signs. Ben: Nice. Will Bojo munch on any sagebrush or any grass? Lee: He does enjoy a... I mean this is our first real spring with him so we’ve never know him to react to how the snow is melting. He loves snow, he loves jumpin around in it but he does seem to be chewin on more grass now that it’s melting. And he did show up yesterday for the first time with a dead squirrel in his mouth. Ben: Mhm. I’m sure he was probably pretty proud of that. Lee: Oh yeah. And then we were like telling him to drop it and put it away and he was just like lookin at us like, what are you guys doing? Ben: Haha. Yeah, right. I brought you guys dinner! Lee: Yeah. And we were like ah, we’ll just put it in the trash bag that’s full of dog shit and then throw it in the dumpster, and he’s like, whatever. Ben: Haha. Ah, that’s great. Are the people in Colorado much different than they are in MA? Lee: Umm... It’s been a while since I’ve lived in Massachusetts to be honest with you so, like, the sort of the quirks of everybody... I dunno, Colorado’s a very active outdoor community. But up here, like IN the mountains where it’s like ski resort country... there’s just a lot of um... the term “shitbag”’s probly not nice to use but like just a lot of people you can tell their reeeal concern in life is like bein able to shred some fresh gnar. Ben: Haha. Yes. Lee: And other than that you can like pretty much go fuck yourself. And they’ll be nice people and they won’t, you know, go out of their way to hurt anyone but like, you can’t like RELY on them for anything. Ben: Right. They just wanna shred gnar. Lee: Yeah, they just wanna shred some fresh fresh buttercream and like I don’t blame them for that? But at the same time it’s like you need to be able to pull your weight a little bit. Ben: Haha, yup. Lee: So that's one group of people, but then there's another group of people up here that's just like active, engaged, friendly, um, usually a little bit older, maybe people who are early retirees or just retired or whatever who seem like really topnotch people. Ben: Which proves our point that the older you get, maybe the cooler. Maybe the cooler. Lee: Yeah, the cooler, the wiser, I mean that's the way I feel about myself, for sure. Ben: Have you gotten on the mountain at all this year? Lee: Yeah. I mean it sucks now because they had to close... this whole county, I mean just like everywhere else really but this whole county, they had to shut down about a month before the official end of ski season so, we didn't realize the time of our last ski day was gonna be our last ski day, but... We try to get out, like, in my line of work obviously, bein a chef, the holiday season and that winter season up here I'm just getting slammed like nonstop for a couple months while everyone's up here on vacation and doing all their skiing. BUT once all those people go home and February and March rolls around and it really starts to slow down then that's my time where I'm like, cool, I'm gonna ski like at least once, maybe twice a week and just enjoy everything around here and not have to fight crowds cuz, you know, I'm obviously not off on weekends or anything. So late winter/early spring these last two years has been my time to get up there. That got cut short a little bit this season but, got to get out on the mountain on the skis. We do a lot of hiking and we've been snowshoing every day since we've been quarantined, like we just go out on either some hike or some snowshoe, we went sledding with the dog the other day and that was just insanely fun even though it was kinda dangerous. But yeah, there's no shortage of outdoor activities for me right now. Ben: Yeah. That all sounds great. Lee: It is great. Ben: And these are all things you can also do in New Hampshire, are you guys still thinking of moving to New Hampshire? Lee: Yeah, it's definitely, um, we've got a shortlist workin right now in terms of options or where we wanna go from here or what we wanna do and they're all sort of... what's the term?... I dunno... co-related, codependent, whatever, like one factor's obviously dependent on several others. But New Hampshire's definitely up towards the top of the list. So I was excited, she was excited. And then we had a couple other options sort of present themselves to us so we're kinda weighin those out now and, uh, we'll figure it out. Ben: Yup... Options like... out west or.. back east? Lee: Um... Just options, Ben, you know what I mean? I don't feel like I need to get into any more than that. Ben: Haha, all right, I don't wanna get into your business too much, okay. Lee: Haha, no, you'll be the first to know once we decide though. Ben: Good, good. And also I didn't want to get into politics too much because it can just be a drag like we both agree but... Lee: Sure. Ben: ... and this is kind of a tricky question in the post-#MeToo movement and now that you're engaged but, carrying it over from our last interview, do you still want to boink Hillary Clinton. Lee: (trying to suppress laughing) Ahh god, I have no recollection... Ben: Haha, just purely hypothetically! Purely hypothetically! Lee: I have no recollection of that conversation ever happening. Ben: Hahah. I mean it's on my Tumblr but... Lee: Oh yeah, well... I don't even know how to get on a Tumblr so... Ben: Haha. Lee: No, I don't actively want to, uumm... If the situation presented itself, like if I was a single man... yeah, it's obviously something you'd have to consider but... yeah, maybe the desire has lessened as compared to what it was the last time we did this. Ben: Still a lot of power in play there. Lee: Yeah, for sure, I mean that's... Ben: Part of the appeal? Lee: I could be theoretically a couple heartbeats away from the White House like if things worked out between Hill Dawg and I, which I would make sure everything was kosher on my end but... Yeah, that's funny that you mentioned politics and I thought about our last conversation and all that was goin on and all that we talked about and the question you had is do you still wanna blank Hillary Clinton. Topnotch journalism. Ben: Haha. I mean I spent hours honing these questions. Uumm, yeah, again I don't wanna ask annyy.... we're pretty much at the end here because I do have to transcribe all of this which will take me like thirty hours... but I enjoy it, just savoring, retyping every word that you've spoken but ahh... obviously having in mind what's going on in the world right now -- where do we go from here? Lee: Ahhh, gosh. That's a big question. Ben: Just... more tequila and Yahtzee err? Lee: I mean, you say that I think tongue in cheek but... Ben: Not really!... not really. Lee: Yeah, no, I mean my whole mentality from the day it sort of became clear that this was gonna be a serious thing was, um, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me to put my energy anywhere I want and to focus it anywhere I want, and the way I've chosen to do that is like I've said focus on my family and the people around me who I care about and care about meee... you know, get out in nature every day, get exercise every day, try and learn something, we've been doin a ton of cooking at home, pickling pretty much every vegetable in sight... Ben: Nice, that's exciting. Lee: ... Yeah, and just gettin back to the good life and I feel like there's a lot of people who are embracing similar approaches. And then there are also the people whooo, ya know, take ahh... one of the first headlines I saw was like, “Pornhub offers free premium membership for everybody,” and it's like okay, you can spend the next two months just furiously whackin it with your pants around your ankles. You're not gonna come out of that in a good place and you are gonna be terrified the whole time and you're gonna come out in some fucking self-induced stupor and like you're not gonna know what to do or where to turn. So I feel like there's already sort of two mentalities developing and there's two approaches we can take and, I dunno what we're gonna do as a nation, because that's just insane, that many people all tryna choose a path, but at the same time when I said like I'm tryna cut off useless information and stupid politics, what it boils down to is people's individual decisions they make and paths they choose to take. I dunno where we go, but I know where I'm goin so... that's what I'm focused on. Ben: So... Pornhub in moderation? Lee: I would say no Pornhub, if you want my advice, I would say stop whacking yourself silly altogether and choose somethin else to do, find another focus. Ben: Haha. Okay, cool. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about or...? Lee: Uh, I want to let you know that I love you. Ben: Thanks! Lee: And I hope you're doin well. And I hope everyone else back home is doin well. And I've been meaning to send you something, and I finally figured out how I'm gonna do it. The vessel was sort of always the issue, I think I've got that solved. So keep an eye out for something in the mail. Ben: Ooo, a package from Lee. No offense to you but I will be sure to fully sanitize it upon receiving it. Lee: Haha, yeah, for sure. Sanitize everything. Ben: I talked to Shaun right before doing this and I asked him if he had any questions to ask you and he said, "Ask him where the fuck he has been and why we never hear from him." Lee: Haha. Ben: I assume it's cuz, you know you were saying, well, usually you're working and now you're able to enjoy yourself but life for a chef is just like, you're not even able to think, it's just like french fries, french fries, french fries! Right? Lee: Yeah, it's pretty much all about french fries all the time. Ben: Haha. Sometimes sweet potato fries. Lee: But I dunno, I could put that back at Shaun, like when was the last time... I mean... I dunno... look, man... I'm not tryna... Ben: Haha. Lee: Ohh, I miss you guys, I miss Shaun especially. I'll do my part to make sure that we reconnect sometime soon. Ben: Cool. I think that's the perfect... perfect way to end it.

#lee

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