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ootahime · 3 years

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what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)

part 2 (unedited)

part 1 is here!

let’s continue answering the question: is utahime weak?

chapter 135

what preparations is utahime making? like i’ve mentioned before, i theorize that she needs to charge up in order to use her technique. since momo and the other kyoto students are fighting on the front line to buy time for utahime, i believe that they trust that their teacher’s ability can help turn the situation around.

what do the students think of her? do they think she’s weak?

chapter 128

mechamaru manipulates the circumstances in a way that allow him to keep the kyoto people away from danger. this has more to do with how much he cares about his classmates and his teacher rather than seeing them as incompetent sorcerers who can’t hold their own. notice how he says “EVEN utahime”.

chapter 128

kamo thinks mechamaru doesn’t have that much faith in the Kyoto students—but this isn’t true at all! he knows who the enemy is and has a grasp of how dangerous they are. he just wants to keep his friends safe. besides, kamo is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer which means he’s more than capable of defending himself against curses. but since he’s being kept safe too, it suggests that this is not a matter of keeping weak people away from fighting :)

chapter 41

this seems a bit off topic but let’s talk about the misogyny in jujutsu society. momo points out to nobara that the women from the zenin clan are expected to be perfect. the misogyny runs so deep to the point where some women aren’t allowed to even fight. you may think that this is just about the zenin clan but it’s about society as a whole. that’s why nobara responds to momo in a more personal sense. she doesn’t care about the boys versus girls issue because she embraces all aspects of herself. she loves herself when she’s strong, and she loves herself when she’s dressed up and beautiful. if it only applied to the zenin family then nobara wouldn’t have responded the way she did.

in the chapter before, nishimiya explains, “even if a girl has skills, if she’s not cute, she’s looked down upon. of course, if she’s only cute with no skill, it’s the same. women sorcerers aren’t expected to be skilled, they’re expected to be perfect.”

some of the female characters in jujutsu kaisen apply to this. for example, maki and mai. they’re looked down upon because one can’t use a cursed technique or see curses, while the other’s cursed technique is weak. in chapter 148(?) naoya says the only thing maki had going for her was her face, but it’s ruined now so she’s nothing. the zenin twins fall under the “cute but not skilled” category in jujutsu society. before we can put utahime into a category, let’s examine mei.

i promise this will all connect so please bear with me LOLLL let’s move on to mei. we find out that mei has the ability to control crows. she deems this ability as weak because it’s simple and doesn’t have much attack or defense power.

she convinces herself that a sorcerer’s worth doesn’t revolve around their CT. by following this ideal, she soon found herself at her limit because you can only hone your physical abilities to an extent. she said she was crushed because she thought that her weak CT would forever stunt her ability to grow as a sorcerer. but because of all the training she did in order to not rely on her CT, she was able to combine her physical prowess with her technique to make what’s best of her ability to control crows.

mei is an example of a perfect woman based on the standards the jujutsu world has established for women. although she has a weak technique, she makes up for it with adept use of weapons and physical prowess. she found a way to incorporate this “weak” ability to make it something strong. she’s beautiful and powerful so therefore, she was promoted to be a grade 1 sorcerer. she is what a woman is expected to be in order to be acknowledged by others.

what about utahime? why couldn’t she follow the same footsteps as mei?

i can’t answer that because we don’t really know much about utahime so far. i can only speculate why. being a grade 2 sorcerer at 20 is not bad at all. but why is she stuck as a semi-grade 1 sorcerer at 31? that surely proves she’s just weak, right?

semi-grade 1 sorcerers are sorcerers who have performed well on missions with a person accompanying them. i feel like when utahime was on a mission to exorcise a grade 1 curse on her own (the final step of the grade 1 promotion process), something happened that gave her her scar and made her unable to fulfill the mission. it’s either that or she did complete the mission but her appearance is too unsatisfactory. can you recall what nishimiya said? if you’re cute and not skilled, you’re not good enough. if you’re not cute and skilled, you’re still not good enough.

in men, scars are a symbol of honor and strength. on the other hand, scars on a woman’s face are seen as an imperfection. as a result, those who are scarred are deemed imperfect and unsuitable for marriage.

gojo hates the way things are run because the higher ups are so close-minded. they make decisions on a whim and have no compassion for sorcerers who are breaking their backs on their orders. he wants to change jujutsu society for the better by raising the next generation of sorcerers to be as strong as him. the old-fashioned and narrow-minded attitude of the higher ups leads me to believe that utahime is stuck as a semi-grade 1 sorcerer because she is viewed as imperfect. utahime’s scar is most likely the reason contributing to her being held back. who would want to promote a woman who isn’t beautiful enough to be a grade 1 sorcerer?

she obviously has a lot to offer because she’s a teacher at Kyoto. todo, a grade 1 sorcerer, has never shown any sign of disrespect towards utahime despite the fact that he surpassed her in rankings. he trusts in her and believes she has some things she can teach him.

can we additionally address the fact that gojo respects mei? he refers to her as mei-san and says that there’s no way she’d cry because she’s strong. mei has a weak technique though? 🤔🤔🤔 controlling crows?!?!?! nah im jk, mei is strong with and without her technique, of course. since gojo respects someone like mei, a person who doesn’t have an out-of-this-world technique, i believe his view of someone strong isn’t solely based on their technique. when he calls utahime weak, he may not be insulting her CT. it’s just all jokes because in chapter 65, geto and mei join in on the fun too and pick on her. mr. hot shot knows that utahime is a valuable asset to his plans so he entrusts her with the task of unearthing the traitor(s). if she was so incapable of such a thing, why did he pay mei to do the same job? 🤔

*a lot of people think mei was actually paid by gojo to promote his students but that’s incorrect. it goes against everything gojo advocates for. he wants his kids to enjoy their youth because his was taken away. being a sorcerer is not a smooth job and no matter how many years you’re in the profession, it never gets easier. he doesn’t wish for his students to be thrust in a world full of hardship and loss, which is why he was so against yuuji and yuta’s execution. he works hard to preserve the innocence of his students. he doesn’t want yuji’s heart to break, not even once. why would he pay mei to promote his students to grade 1? that would automatically strip them of their innocence and youth and push them into a world full of burden and pain.

PHEW that was long. how does this all tie back to utahime’s future role in the story?

her CT will probably come in clutch in an important battle

she might be the one to help get gojo out the box (A REACH i know)

she will help gojo with his plan to overthrow and change jujutsu society as a whole

i don’t really have to dive into the first bullet point. as for the second one, look at what i found!

in the second opening, utahime is seen searching for something in a dim forest.

*i read an analysis about opening 2 and apparently this just symbolizes her looking for the traitors. that makes sense too.

in chapter 144, this scenery pops up right before they enter master tengen’s base(?) the branches are thicker than in the opening but it gives the same vibes to me. i think utahime will be the one to break gojo out.

why utahime? well, gojo is their best shot at stabilizing whatever the fuck is going on right now. she knows it’s a crime to unseal him, but she wants her students to be safe so she’ll probably risk it. plus, gojo’s flashback starts with him breaking utahime and mei out of a building with a barrier. i think utahime breaking gojo out of the prison realm will make a perfect parallel :3

that theory is a massive ass pull I KNOW. it’s just fun to think about. it’s likely that kurusu hana will be the one helping yuuji and megumi out with that.

if utahime isn’t the one freeing gojo, she will definitely come face to face with the other traitors.

ive read numerous Reddit threads and tons of users think she’ll play a small role in the story—nothing too significant. i’m perfectly content with that as well. i never expected her to be gojo level or anything like that LMAOO. as long as we get to see her technique in action, i will be satisfied 😮‍💨

——

i feel like there may be a few things i missed but i tried to include everything i could think of. the organization of this post is quite off but im too lazy to rearrange it in a way that makes it more coherent LOL. thank you so much for reading. ill probably analyze gojo and utahime’s interactions in the manga and anime next :-)

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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rotshop · 3 years

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get prankt this isn't an angst fic lol ,,

ANYWAY ,, i realized earlier that i could've just been calling 'auditor reader' employer reader this whole time and then i had a funny silly goofy little idea and now we r here,,,lol,,, ill proof read this later but i did this in one go no breaks so . help.

I might continue this later so!! consider this a sort of 'introduction' if u will,,

note ; auditor uses he / she / they pronouns in this bc ive decided im just going to push my propaganda onto all of you <333 also Hank uses he / they / xe

tw ; dissociation, dereality, some light body horror

Bloody Management

"This is out of your jurisdiction. You've wasted enough time here," you seethed dryly, staring down at the shorter being. "You've made no progress and have only proved your operation to be a strain on our relations and resources."

"Out of MY jurisdiction? YOU'VE never even been there before! You think you can just storm in and suddenly kick me out of my own work?" Auditor shot back, hands slamming down on the mahogany desk in front of her.

"Yes, actually, I do," you snapped, eyes narrowing. "I think you're forgetting just who you're speaking to. You've let this drag on for far too long and your ego has grown in tandem with its pointlessness."

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continued. "Look, I understand. You put effort and thought into this little pet project of yours, but the results have all proven zilch. You fucked up, that's fine, but you can't keep meddling with this reality in hopes something will suddenly work again! All you're doing is tearing and poking holes the rest of us will have to deal with later."

"If you just gave me a little more time I could-"

"We've been giving you time. We've given you more time than we've ever given any project like yours," you gave a desperate look, "It's over. You tried and we tried, there's nothing that can be done. If you just worked with us then we could help you."

There was a long silence as they faltered, hands falling into their lap as their gaze followed, landing on the floor.

"And what happens to my Nevada?"

"We'll try and clean it up again. Return it to..some sort of normalcy," you hummed, "Though, with some of those tears in the fabric it'll take a bit longer than anticipated. That..clown, is proving to be rather difficult."

You paused, grin finding it's way onto your face.

"It's been tricky, if you will."

"Not the time."

You gave a 'tsk' in response, shrugging lightly, "I don't regret it."

"You'll be going back to our depths, effective immediately. While this project was a failure, we're still curious to see if there's anything else that can be done in a different time and place."

"And what about you? Are you going to sit all pretty in this fake office for the rest of eternity?" She questioned sarcastically, eyes dragging up to meet yours.

"God, I wish. I mean, seriously, you have no idea how nice it is to have some peace and quiet after dealing with that fuckin' office."

With a dry snicker and -presumably- an eye roll, they finally stood accepting their defeat.

"I presume I'll be seeing you?"

"If your little posse doesn't cause me too much trouble, yes."

"Have fun with that, I do hope it's as grueling as possible," he hummed, turning and striding towards the door to nothing.

"Thanks, was nice seeing you too."

The door peering to the void shuts soundlessly.

"Was the pun really that bad?.."

---

"What do you mean they're just neutral suddenly? It's not like they all just suddenly unionized or sum' shit! There's gotta be something going on," Deimos groaned, irritation dragging onto him and clinging desperately.

"Well- What do you want me to say! I'm just as confused as you are," Sanford huffed back over comms, making a vague gesture with no audience.

Hank stood in the other room, staring down at the few agents that were on their knees with their hands held tight behind their heads. They'd made no attempt to attack Sanford and xem, simply staring in a bit of surprise when the two'd busted in. It'd completely thrown the raid off, leaving them both in a state of stunned confusion. The agent that they'd asked about the sudden change in demeanor just gave some shaky shrug, stammering out that they'd all received an order to not attack under any circumstances from some unknown contact. 'They really just listen to anyone then?..'

It was hard to believe, hard to find any reason or meaning in that lead to any conclusive endings. Which, had lead to a small dispute going nowhere and fast. Hank only picked up on little parts of it, the words being muffled and distorted through the wall. Xe didn't really have much interest in getting a clearer reading of it though, it didn't sound like it meant much.

"Look, I'm just going to try and look for any documents or actual recordings of this apparent 'ghost order,' alright?..." A pause. "Deimos? Are you there? Shit- Of course the line dies now of all times."

The line wasn't dead. It was somewhere else, some-when else.

---

The ground felt cold.

No, was it warm?

Wait- No no no, it wasn't warm..

Was it even the ground?

Did it even matter?

Deimos could fuzzily recall it. Arguing with Sanford over the line. The points he made exactly didn't seem to ring through the fog of confusion and numb in his mind. Something about the Auditor, the agents, blah bla..something.

He'd been making to say something else when he'd seen it, something off in the corner of his eye. It wasn't anything huge, if you asked him he wouldn't even be able to tell you what it was. There was something wrong, but there wasn't. The ground was cold, but it was warm.

Something was wrong.

Everything is fine.

He'd turned around, looking around for whatever in his vision wasn't right.

That's rude to say, you know.

He'd never found it, something reaching from the depths to grab him.

You're making me sound awfully cruel.

With a groan, he picked himself up off the ground to observe his surroundings. White and black stretched infinitely around him, the 'ground' underneath him was the deepest of not-color while the 'sky' was its blinding twin. A building stood in front of him, a mix of ivory and ink twisted to form its structure. The door faced him, standing tall and straight as a soldier in spite of how tilted and off the world felt.

Before he could even really register it, something was pulling him up off the floor. There were no hands or strings physically attached, nothing sticking from him to drag into the infinite beyond his comprehension, no no. It was something quiet, a ghost or a whisper in his mind that pulled him through the ocean and to shore. The door grew larger- closer. His mind grew blanker. His hand twisted the knob.

Color flooded into his vision finally, the room in front of him coated in it graciously. The floors were a velvet carpeting, a wine red that felt of lavish and glitzy. The walls were lined in bookshelves, each filled to the brim with titles somewhere between poetry and latin white noise where imagination fell. At the head of the room stood a desk, polished mahogany standing tall and still, frozen indefinitely in time. Behind it, you.

Me.

Once again, he was pulled forward. Each step fell in front of the other, unsure of weight behind them and noise that followed suite. He felt half there. Half of a man and half of a void. It was..something.

Not pleasant, not bad.

The ground wasn't cold, wasn't warm.

It just was.

He finds himself meeting your gaze as he plops down into one of the seats in front of you. He finds his neck straining and bowing under phantom limbs that aren't there. He finds his eyes training on yours which stare back pointedly, finds himself between hot and cold. He finds himself sitting down before you as he watches from the window.

There's no window in the room.

"You must be so confused."

Your voice is in front of him, right? That's where you are, so your voice should be coming from there. It isn't though. It's around him somewhere. Even as you tilt your head to the side the noise of your own voice doesn't seem to follow it.

"Don't think too much on this all, alright?"

You mutter something. 'These grunts really weren't made for this- to be here. I'm surprised he even woke up.'

Someone nods in agreement.

"Wh..who are you?"

Is that his voice? It is. It has to be, it fell from his own mouth. He barely even felt it move. Is it his mouth? It has to be.

You pause for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. He doesn't know if its because he spoke or because of what he asked. Nobody clarifies.

"Why don't you call me [name]? That'll be easiest for you. I do apologize for dragging you here rather than appearing there," you hum, leaning forward on your desk. "I just wanted to make sure we had the utmost privacy."

I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be able to forget.

"Now, Deimos," is that his name? "I need to tell you something, I have to work on restoring things for you, so I can't deliver this message to everyone myself in the most..effective of ways. You won't mind filling your friends in for me, right?"

He doesn't answer. He can't. His tongue is lead and his mouth is stuck shut, if he opens it will surely be left that way for the rest of infinity- for the rest of this place, this time. Someone says yes in his voice.

"Good. Now, try to listen carefully..."

---

He wakes up on sand. He's sitting up quickly, stilted as his mind finds his body. His tongue is lighter, teeth separated once more as his jaws are their own entities again. The cliff is still under him, wind passing by him peacefully. The horizon stretches infinite.

The ground is warm, there's no mistaking it.

"Deimos? Are you there?"

He pauses briefly.

"I need to tell you guys something."

#deimos x reader #SORTA???????#I MEAN. U GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS HIS ASS SO LIKE. TAKE THAT AS U WILL...#idk he's definitely in gay love w/ you but like in that 'aha hey bestie what if we kisses and you were a cosmic horror :flushed:'#madness combat imagines #madness combat x reader #madcom imagines #madcom x reader #auditor reader #employer reader #<- gonna be usin that tag too now ig??

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danideservedbetter · 3 years

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Day 7, 8, 9, and 10 / Elaboration

Hey y’all! I said yesterday I would elaborate a little more on what my doctor’s visit yesterday told me, and here I am to do just that! I meant to yesterday, honestly, but by the time I got home my medicine had worn off and that wasn’t looking very likely 😅😅 But regardless!!! Here is what my results look like and honestly? These things probably have been affecting my sleeping disorder to a degree I’d previously disregarded without detailed info I’ve gotten from these tests.

Full write up under the cut!

—I got two major tests done, blood work and a genetics test. Back in my hometown the nurses couldn’t even figure out how to open the damn swab, but technology here managed to map out my entire DNA sequence which is utterly NUTS to me.

—My body is deficient in almost every important vitamin known to mankind, which makes sense because my diet is not… the best 😅 So, I started on several (SEVERAL) supplements to start out.

—I say start out because it’s very likely that I’ll be taking vitamin C and some liver enzyme through an IV once a month. A younger me might’ve thought something like this was scary, but at this point I’m so desperate to be healthy that getting nutrients drip fed into my system for them to work quicker sounds just fine to me.

—Other than that it’s normal lifestyle stuff. Eat more fruits and vegetables (I’ve been eating olives by the can for like days and I intend to buy fresh fruit packets for breakfast whenever I can afford them) as well as staying more active— which I DEFINITELY have been since I moved closer to New Orleans, in Louisiana proper where my dad lives.

But enough of the boring medicinal stuff. I’m sure you guys are much more interested in the whys— is there a reason my hypersomnia is so bad? Is there a deeper explanation than “lack of vitamins bad and you should feel bad”?

Well, yeah. YES. The genetics test revealed a metric fuckton to say the least 😂😂😂 but the most important was what kinds of diseases I’m predisposed to or how my body can process certain types of hormones/enzymes/proteins. Things like why caffeine won’t work for me (my body processes it very fast but not very thoroughly) or my metabolism being the strongest recorded genotype (which is why it’s been so hard to gain weight). Below, I’ll go into detail about stuff my new general doctor’s in-office geneticist (I still can’t believe that’s a thing I’m typing) has revealed about my disorder.

Naturally, this is specific to me because of my parents and our family lines. Maybe if you see info pertinent to yourself, looking into genetic mapping may be a good idea for you?

We are pretty confident that I have Idiopathic Hypersomnia. The reason for this is that a tiny link has been found between individuals who contracted mononucleosis in their childhood and adolescence and individuals who fell within the sleep cycles indicating IH. Now, IH will be genetic sometimes, but considering I’ve tracked my disorder to starting around 14, the same year I contracted Mono, the coincidence definitely doesn’t seem like… well, a coincidence. My blood test shows that I do in fact have the antibodies in my system, and they’re doing something… odd.

The geneticist found some “active” antibodies. Well, not some, really 😅 Basically, she’s surmised that these antibodies have a hair-trigger response and can react to any given environmental factor (stress, hunger, etc.) to the point where they activate as if they think they’re **fighting off a virus that’s been out of my system for ten years.** Of course this takes up an inordinate amount of energy, which is her hypothesis as to why my hypersomnia is so random and varies in intensity. The goal for this summer is flushing these antibodies out of my system.

My previous neurologist tried out a couple stimulants and then shit insurance prevented me from trying any others. So I’m stuck on something traditionally prescribed for adhd. A narcotic. *However* since my body is severely dysfunctional in general, the way I describe it is I basically have to induce a high to stay awake and function normally. We want to eventually get me off of these kinds of drugs, of course, since prolonged exposure weakens their effects and they’re highly addictive.

Another in credibly interesting thing we found is that I'm lacking in three major hormones. However, it's not because I don't produce them. I've never identified with symptoms of depression (anxiety, certainly, but not depression) yet for most of my life my childhood general practitioner insisted I had it. Well, the geneticist found that while I'm lacking in serotonin, dopamine, and melatonin, which yes are the two major mood enhancers and then the hormone that induces sleep, it's not because I can't produce them. It's because my neural transmitters are so damaged from a less-than-good diet and years of exhaustion that they simply can't process them. Just as the antibodies can have a hair-trigger response to environmental factors, so too can these processors. Simple things like a good meal, my high from my stimulants, or even micro dopamine shots from getting things done can activate the transmitters. Another thing on the docket for the summer is fixing these permanently with treatments of vitamins and supplements.

My stimulants have caused appetite issues, unfortunately, and that plus Covid at the beginning of this year caused me to get down to my lowest recorded weight ever, 94 pounds, which I haven't weighed since before I hit my final growth spurt way back in middle school. My dad does physical labor (he's a contractor who frames houses in the humid heat of the Deep South lol) so he's used to feeling tired. When he caught Covid, he said that he'd never felt as tired, drained, or out of it in his entire life. He never gets sick and hardly goes to the doctor and NEVER takes off work because of health, but in his last few weeks before full recovery he had to take off early multiple times. He was floored when he described the brain fog and exhaustion and I told him that I had no idea I even had Covid, because I just thought it was my disorder acting up. It was only when my grandmother started feeling tired that we got tested and we tested positive.

All that said, we think that there's hope for a future for me. She said that while there's no cure for IH, the cause that I have may can be mitigated by changes in exercise, diet, routine, and medication,to the point where I may mitigate symptoms of my disorder entirely. I'm still setting up appointments with a new neurologist here in the city, though, because technology is of course more advanced here.

And again, taking all of this into consideration, while it was looking likelier by the day, we've both agreed that I'll be here in the city 'til New Years. Which means no school this semester, but if I can go back in spring at more than 20% functionality and maybe succeed, I'm perfectly fine having to remain on break.

However, another good update: I weigh 103 pounds! I'm steadily gaining weight-- which means the other medication, the one for my appetite, is working as it should and as long as I stay on-track I should reach my goal of 120 by the end of the year as well.

So, yeah! That's what it's looking like. I have another appointment to go more in depth with the results tomorrow, but for now I'm planning out my week since I decided to let myself rest all last week. I'd love to finish helping out for our current podfic, ACTUALLY start the damn 100 Theme Challenge (LOL), finish betaing something that's been on hold for months, properly reconnect with our discord, catch up on all the media I fell behind on, clean my damn room, and establish a budget for this week on what I can buy. A more specific plan for today will follow, but til then, I hope this gives everyone some insight on what I'm looking at and how I'm gonna try to fix it.

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #TW: weight #TW: anxiety/depression mention #health post #genetics

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iheartbookbran · 4 years

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in what world has Jaime done as many shitty things as Cersei... he's totally done shitty things, but Cersei is really out here having people tortured, abusing her children, killing babies, raping her teenage cousin, the list goes on? by all means let's hold Jaime to account but this saying he's done 'as many shitty things as Cersei' is honestly like comparing Theon to Euron

Hi anon! I think you’re referring to this post I reblogged about Cersei, in which I said in the tags that Tyrion and Jaime are objectively as shitty.

Ok listen, full on disclaimer here, but I’m not the biggest Jaime fan out there, and I’m by no means an expert on his character, so (in general) take everything I say about him with a grain of salt, but, while Jaime may not have as much blood in his hands as Cersei, I’ll concede you that point, he’s also not a king regent, like Cersei, with huge amounts of liberty—at least at first— to commit war crimes to his hear’s content. He really hasn’t had that much agency in general across the books, with him being a prisoner of war and then being dragged around the Riverlands by Brienne or being taken hostage... again. What readers trend to forget about Jaime is that when does have the agency, as of the start of aGoT, he’s more than a willing participant in Cersei’s schemes.

Yeah sure, he feels bad about it, and he justifies it by saying that he does it because he loves Cersei and wants to protect her, but to that I have to say...

Also I’m gonna disagree in one of the things you listed Cersei has done and Jaime hasn’t.

That is “killing babies” because Jaime doesn’t really show any qualms about harming children? Bran being the biggest example, of course. The only reason he isn’t dead is because he’s got big plot armor. Still, I feel this often gets ignored when discussing Jaime’s character because Bran didn’t die while ignoring the physical and emotional damage he’s suffering as a result, including deep depression. And just because an attempted murder failed doesn’t negate the fact that Jaime still pushed a 7 year old child out of a window with the clear intention of killing him.

He’s also not opposed to maiming children. He was more than willing to cut off Arya’s hand after the Trident incident:

"Do you see that window, ser?" Jaime used a sword to point. "That was Raymun Darry's bedchamber. Where King Robert slept, on our return from Winterfell. Ned Stark's daughter had run off after her wolf savaged Joff, you'll recall. My sister wanted the girl to lose a hand. (...) The king was passed out snoring on the Myrish carpet. I asked my sister if she wanted me to carry him to bed. She told me I should carry her to bed, and shrugged out of her robe. I took her on Raymun Darry's bed after stepping over Robert. (...) "As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, 'I want.' I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead." The things I do for love. "It was only by chance that Stark's own men found the girl before me. If I had come on her first . . ."—aFoC, Jaime IV.

And yeah, he again justifies it on his need to please Cersei, but that’s not good enough for me, not by a long shot.

Same as this....

Edmure raised his hands from the tub and watched the water run between his fingers. "And if I will not yield?"

Must you make me say the words? (...) "You've seen our numbers, Edmure. You've seen the ladders, the towers, the trebuchets, the rams. If I speak the command, my coz will bridge your moat and break your gate. Hundreds will die, most of them your own. Your former bannermen will make up the first wave of attackers, so you'll start your day by killing the fathers and brothers of men who died for you at the Twins. The second wave will be Freys, I have no lack of those. My westermen will follow when your archers are short of arrows and your knights so weary they can hardly lift their blades. When the castle falls, all those inside will be put to the sword. Your herds will be butchered, your godswood will be felled, your keeps and towers will burn. I'll pull your walls down, and divert the Tumblestone over the ruins. By the time I'm done no man will ever know that a castle once stood here." Jaime got to his feet. "Your wife may whelp before that. You'll want your child, I expect. I'll send him to you when he's born. With a trebuchet."

Silence followed his speech. Edmure sat in his bath. (...) With a trebuchet, Jaime thought. If his aunt had been there, would she still say Tyrion was Tywin's son?—aFoC, Jaime VI.

Charming lol. Don’t forget that he’s doing all this while he tells himself that he’s keeping the oath he made to Catelyn about not harming her kin, and the riverlords as an extension, and at the same time defending and giving legitimacy to a hideous unlawful act that Jaime himself, deep down, condones, and yet there he is, waging war against the Tullys. And threatening to trebuchet Edmure’s baby while he’s at it.

I think that my biggest problem with Jaime is exactly that, his willingness to be complicit in all of his family’s wrongdoings and even rationalize his involvement. Like you also mentioned Cersei raping her teenage cousin, and that 100% should not be ignored (though funnily enough, Jaime uses Cersei “infidelity” if you can call it that to slut-shame her lmao, but their relationship is messed up like that). Now Jaime is one of the only male characters that acknowledge marital rape is a thing, that’s good, but at the same time his hold on concent is... shaky at best imo.

With his relationship with Cersei there are some glaring examples:

“Stop it,” she said. “Stop it, stop it, oh please…” But her voice was low and weak, and she did not push him away.—aGoT, Bran II.

“No,” she said weakly when his lips moved down her neck. “Not here. The septons…”

“The Others can take the septons.” He kissed her again, kissed her silent, kissed her until she moaned.—aSoS, Jaime VII.

This is a problem with Cersei as well. Both twins have issues accepting that no means no. And even going beyond that, there’s the whole Tysha fiasco and Jaime’s involvement on it.

"She was no whore. I never bought her for you. That was a lie that Father commanded me to tell. Tysha was . . . she was what she seemed to be. A crofter's daughter, chance met on the road."

Tyrion could hear the faint sound of his own breath whistling hollowly through the scar of his nose. Jaime could not meet his eyes. Tysha. He tried to remember what she had looked like. A girl, she was only a girl, no older than Sansa. "My wife," he croaked. "She wed me."

"For your gold, Father said. She was lowborn, you were a Lannister of Casterly Rock. All she wanted was the gold, which made her no different from a whore, so . . . so it would not be a lie, not truly, and . . . he said that you required a sharp lesson. That you would learn from it, and thank me later . . ."—ASOS, Tyrion XI.

Yes, Jaime, and she was also a teenage girl, who was gang raped on your father’s command, in front of your 13 year old brother who later was forced to participate (and people forget Tyrion was a victim here too).

I mean Jaime is a victim of his father’s abuse the same way his siblings are, but he’s also a full grown adult, more than capable of recognizing right from wrong, yet he still chosen to side with his family and be complicit to their crimes. Sometimes you can be guilty of what you don’t do, not only of what you do.

Of course, it’s kinda unfair to make a complete judgment just yet because his story is not finished, so he might make a turn in that regard, but that really hasn’t happened as far as the books go? Other than him deciding not to go to Cersei because he feels betrayed that she slept with other men. Oh the irony of him turning on her the one time she legitimately needs him to protect her from an actual injustice instead of him inflicting terror on others per her wishes.

I think it’s interesting that GRRM even gives Jaime this opportunity to grow, while he never extends the same courtesy to Cersei. That Jaime spents so much time away from his family—and by extension of Cersei—is a huge factor in that, but I do wonder what would have happened if he didn’t have the fallout with Cersei, if he had been in that position of power to continue the affair with his sister, to what lengths he would have gone to keep her, and that’s why I, personally, believe that he can be, or rather is, as bad as Cersei.

#ask #anonymous #ask pam #ok i'm not tagging this with the character tag because i don't fancy myself being hunted for sport lol #AND JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR..... this isn't j hate like i think he's super complex but people do cut him too much slack sometimes #just my humble opinion #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #meta #my meta

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grimoire-of-seven · 5 years

Note

Because I’m an angsty bitch, could you do a head cannons from the seven with a terminally ill MC? Or at least really, really sick. Thanks! Love your writing 💕

PROMPT: “If Only We Could Have More Time…”

Rating: SFWWords: 600-700Characters: Demon Boys + MC / Gender-Neutral ReaderNotes: Hi! I tried not to make the situation all much worse by means of pressing too hard with the subject in a sense, but to end it with something both parties could cherish. I hope you will all enjoy it!~Oh! And this is written in their perspective.~

Lucifer

Shit..Shit..Shit..

F*ck..

Screwsaving face, the Avatar of Pride himself soon began sprinting through the palehallway, missing to register himself by the lobby as his eyes were fixated bythe red beaming light under the sign; emergency room.

It was imprudentto put his phone to silent at his meeting with the prince of Devildom. Heshould have known better not to… otherwise, he would have read your messagehalf an hour ago, their voice replaying in his mind as his feet quicken itspace.

“Heyumm.. Luci? I know itis a bad time to call you.. but umm.. I’ll be having my operation again in anhour according to the doctor. I hope you’ll take it easy with those meetings and take care!”

“I’msorry sir but you could not enter from this point on. I’m afraid you have towait at the waiting area.”

“But Ineed to see them! Are they already there?” The light-bringer tried to reasonwith the man in a white coat but to no avail. His fears only heightened whenthe doctor reminded him of the day’s operation and how it could grave it couldgo further..

“They do tend to get worse every cycle..”“Why?”“Because each infusion gets harder and the doctors say that Ishould expect that I’ll get weaker every moment.”“Then why place yourself in that situation..?”

Thosebitter words clung into the air as the embodiment of Pride could no longer holdhis composure as one of the nurses by the station assisted him to take a seat.With his fingers entwined together, letting his chin rest on it, his feetclearly indicate how uneased his spirit was as the sole continues to move upand down as though it were to pounce to the emergency room.

Lookingthrough his surroundings, there were also people under his shoes. Hands claspedtogether with their forehead close to it, mumbling under their breath as thoughthey are talking to…

God?

Prayingat every second spared before the judgment on the other door. And…

Should he do the same?

“Ma’amChase?”“Yes?”“Yourdaughter is doing fine now. The operation was a success thanks to Dr. Pomatter.”“Oh thankGod! Can I go see her now?”“Yes, ma’am!This way.”

Thank God?They are thanking… Father?

He hadresented any forms of communications within the Celestial Realm, only forming aprofessional relation to Simeon and Luke under Diavolo’s rule yet… why are histhoughts claiming otherwise?

No.Why should he ask for mercy?He is Lucifer.The eldest and the leader of his pack.A fallen angel to whom prowess never left, despite his glorytainted by the burning sulfur.Yet here he was, incapable to put Death far back on his drawingboard for picking his human for its next kill.Unable to take his human out of it…

Takinghis focus away from the mortals that surrounded the waiting area, thetelevision played a soap opera and with no remote to control its channels, itwas projecting a tragic scene with the woman dead on her lover’s arms.

What if their life would be cut shorter than it already is becauseof this operation?

Could he ever digest the thought that within those times they weretogether, he did not spend it wisely because…Because he let his pride in between? Because he considered hisreputation more than..

Closinghis eyes once more, taking in a series of deep breaths, he, the Avatar ofPride, has always seen the display of empathy as a visage of helplessness andit was their little exchange student that demonstrated it to him otherwise.

Nonetheless,with his human weak.. why should he too, present himself in the same conditionjust because of his worries?

It wouldnot be right.He doesnot want to see his human frown just so his face is.

Maybe there is something he could do.. He thought to himself. Ifhe could not bail his human out of the cold-lighted room, perhaps he could maketheir stay un-cold. Something that could make him see them smile again.

Lookingthrough the window as the room itself has proven itself unable to distract thedemon on his own thoughts drowning his own rationality, there was a signagebeaming with fluorescent lights that made him stand and read;

“Seven..Eleven..”“I wonderif there have any ice cream there..”

Mammon

For being the Avatar of Greed, he sure do brag about bein’ their little human’s first to ever make a pact with. He ain’t letting it pass on as just that.

Just to see his brothers sneer and hiss from mentioning it.

It’s like this bullet that could penetrate even to the thickest skull out there.

An accomplishment and for once, it was a pact he felt that wasn’t a curse. The witches should def. take down some notes from his human~

Yet…

He thought to himself…

There’s no one like his human.

Recalling how his human would ride along to every trouble he creates, every idea he makes, it was this exchange student who was only staying a year that somehow, taught him companionship. And…

He couldn’t take it out of his chest, that he, the Great Mammon, had failed them.He was their first demon to ever make a pact with yet he didn’t do much being one.Perhaps, thinking now, most of them did more than he.Showed more care. Provided more care.And all he did was to get himself out of troubles and the consequences of his actions.Correction: It’s his human that would bail him out… like a mom.

But then, was there anything he could do to being with?

“Dang.. How much am I going to pay you now?”

His human has never even once mentioned of this illness resulting to Death..Well, all diseases would lead to Death but not with this higher rate of going to Death.It‘s like a parade to Death with his human the star of the show.

“I knew I should have bought Boardwalk the moment I landed on it the first time round!”

Maybe he should be the one to blame here.Maybe he didn’t ask more. Known them better.To think even money could betray him because there’s no known cure yet for them.Just like what the doctor said.

“Rent revenue of 50 dollars plus a three houses, umm..”

“Mammon?”

…

“Mammoney?”

…

“MonMon!”

“Ya?” Clearing his headspace, the Great Demon of hell went straight to his Boardwalk card. Sure thing that the visit was expensive. He’s getting all the money from this human plus his property, that’s… for sure..

“Is there something wrong?” they asked, their eyes piercing and hoisting only the truth on the sea of lies, he had come up of saying; “For you not to be interested with mone–“

“I wish I could have known this sooner..”

“Mammon..”

“I could have not wasted your time too much with tossing you from one chaos to another.. and—“

“Mammon…” taking his hand with theirs to entwine with, their little cash-based board game folded in half as they inched closer;

“Why didn’t you ask me to make it go away?”

Did his voice just crack?

“Mammon..”

“I’m the first demon ya got to make a pact with. I got some witches and we might have been able to conjure some potion to get ya ou—“

“Because I just want to spend my time with you..

I do not want our time to be spent on looking for a cure when we could have so much more fun alone.”

Pause.

“Before meeting you, for a while, I was in your shoes too. Looking for a cure that was not there and I am glad that I snapped out of it meeting you.”

“Ummm…” the Avatar of Greed gulped down.

Did he just screw up?

“Because if it were not for you, I would not have enjoyed living. Having fun. Making troubles. I felt alive.”

For someone whose lifeline is in the near end… a demon, a particular avatar of Greed demon could only comprehend so little. Here was a human, frail and like the money he knows would soon be gone out of his pocket, talking of living life to the fullest with him..

Because of him…

“So.. are we still playin’ Monopoly or we’ll just snuggle ‘til the nurse bails you out of visitation hours?”

Leviathan

“What do you think we should play next?” Looking to his rightside, his little human was watching intently at the monitor of his laptop,completely ecstatic as he was able to defeat the final boss of the game. He wasable to manage to get through the final boss because of the UR armour pieceshis human was able to pick whenever he has to decide which crate he should openafter completing another level.

“Shall we go for.. Ruri-Chan Idol or A!3?”

“Whatever you decide on, Levi! As long as I’ll get to watch you.”

His eyes tried not to leave theirs but with his eyes inevitablytracing the cord from the IV down to their hands, injected for how long theycould have been admitted, playing video games became much more of a distractionfor him than it was for his human.

“Levi?”

“Y-y-yes?”

Making his eyes return to the person staring back at them, hecould definitely see a glistening spark as their lips curled, reaching theirears.

“Are you afraid of needles?”

Needles?Afraid of needles?Why would he be afraid of needles?

“Me? Afraid of needles? ROFL LMAO. The only thing I’m afraid of isnot having enough diamonds to purchase another UR Ruri-chan for the next event.”

It wasnot the needle that he was afraid of..But rather, on how swollen their hands are.It must have taken a lot from them..

“Then why are you looking at it like it’s some boss level at oneof your video games?”

Just as there were no room left to insert an excuse from hisinventory, he shifted his attention back to his folder of video-games that hewas able to install for offline playing purposes when he heard them laugh oncemore.

“Look at my hand, Levi! It looks like a balloon. I can’t move it..”

“Let me get the nurse then.”

“Why aren’t you saying ‘lol’ or ‘lmao’?”

Leviathan dead-panned looked at his human for quite some time, hiseyes fixated on theirs going to their hand and back again;

“You want me to lol when your hand looks like it weighs a ton?! Ifthis were an otome game, your intimacy with me would go down!”

“I am just kidding.. hahaha”

That laugh. That silly laugh that even a shut-in could not helpbut be flustered every time his ears are graced with it.

“I already rung the nurse station. Someone would come assist meanytime soo-“

“Good day, how could I be of assistance, sir?”

A woman dressed in all white looked at him before it was able todetect the cause of her call.

Her hands soon untangled the weave by his patient’s left hand, askingto keep their hand still as a ball of cotton soon veiled how the needle wasejected from…

And that was when he turned away from the scene and gave the nursesome space as he went through once more to his file of games..

Whichgame would best distract me?

He could always trust his video games.Video games has always shut him out of facing the outside world.Had always been his comfort blanket.But with him always in this comfort blanket, could he be truly there to supporthis human?

“You could look now, Levi!”

Why arethey smiling? What is there to smile? One hand told to be careful and anotherstuck on a board so it would not bend and have the needl—Maybe he is, sort of, afraid of the needle…Because of how it could be dangerous to them!

“How could you be so chill in all of this?”

“Because, I’m used to it?”

“But you see me with every boss level. Yes, I am used to gameshaving boss level but it is still different..”

“Well.. it was quite painful..”

Then whyare you so chill about it?Is this perhaps.. jealousy with how their human could handle things that ademon couldn’t?Him shutting in and them.. facing it?

“But today, I feel fine today.~”

“How come?” the Avatar of Envy looked once more to their hands,knowing how their left hand would soon be swollen too after a couple of IVs anddays..

“Because I have you.~”

Thishuman..

Sensing his cheeks go crimson red in heat, he tried concealing hisface with one hand, hearing once more that silly laugh, making him moreflustered. “Warn me next time when you’ll go cheesy, human.”

“How about this.. I’ll play a game and you will watch whileresting on my shoulders.”

“What will you be playing?”

“Do you have that game where the owner of a fast-food restaurantof chickens in a dating simulator?”

Satan

“Sorry, I’m late.”

Watching his human finish the last spoonful of their supper andpausing a video from their phone, it was prominent to his tone how angry he wasto himself. Mixed with frustration as his efforts of spending more time at thelibrary, looking at every bookcase for a book with a solution to theircondition, wasted as he found none.

Of all the spells and ancient writings, Devildom is provided with,none could enlighten the Avatar of Wrath on how he could just make theirillness non-existent which only added fuel to the fire considering how there isa book that could swap two entities to the other’s bodies but none about makinga mortal’s terminal illness gone.

“What were you listening to?”

Trying to put the subject or reason of his tardiness to rest bymeans of bringing up another conversation, right now, what the devil wants, isto turn his brain from overthinking off, and more on thinking about them.

“Oh! I was listening to a podcast with a holographic fanatic.”They beamed as though they had spent their time fruitful compared to his. “Youlook a bit tired..”

“A bit tired?”

Are hiseyebags prominent once more? He most definitely would not like to put his humanin worries or to even look tired.That he took from Lucifer.

“But still pretty charming.~”

“Now that is cheesy.”

Putting the food tray and the food container that looks similar tothose at the cafeteria away and near to the door, he saw his human shiftingmore towards their left, a clear invitation for him to be nearer, resulting toSatan putting his coat by the sofa readily available for a visitor.

“What was the podcast about?” He asked as he kept on shifting toattain that perfect and comfortable position to lie down next to them. The bedwas not relatively bad, much to his surprise.

“Just mundane stories that I just missed while being in here.”

If only asickness could tremble and run with his wrath, he would have done it in a snap.Why does sickness have to constrict someone from living?Especially them?

“I’d rather hear about you.~”

Surprised, his features were much more of confusion, somethingthat made his little human laugh and smile as though they were not in such confinedsituations.

“About me?”

“Mhmm!”

There itis again. Those kitty-like eyes.Those eyes that would make him fall for them once more.And make his cheeks flustered and in heat.

“What about me?”

“Anything. Childhood, fondest memories, life as a student..anything! I just want to hear more about you.”

“There is nothing to tell.”

“Eh?”

“Well, there is nothing interesting about me, darling.”

“Don’t say that!”

Hethought he was the Avatar of Wrath..But with his human angry at his reply..He could be dethroned with that title and just be the VP of being the Avatar ofGreed.

“You are interesting!”

“Darli—“

“You truly are! You are interesting to me.”

Interestingto me.

Sensing his ears getting hotter and hotter, he looked up by thepale ceiling, the fan spinning round and round when he felt an arm wrap aroundhis abdomen, warmth coursing through; “Pleeeeaase?”

“All right, all right. Maybe I could tell you how Asmodeus taughtme how to lie to save a kitty.”

“Yay!”

Asmodeus

“Asmo?”

Sensing his fingersentwined further to theirs, the Avatar of Lust fluttered his eyes open, seeingtheirs holding a reflection of himself making his body jerked itself to functionand boost up at once.

“You’re awake!”

How long was he asleep?

“Good morning, beautiful.~”

Beauty?Now now, little human..Let the Avatar of Lust handle the flirting.Although hearing their compliment was definitely more boosting than any reserved slot or timefor spas and saunas.

“How are you feeling,dear?”

Looking through his phone,it was already 4am by his lockscreen, garnering how the Beauty himself wouldalready have underbags on his eyes. But that is something a cold slice ofcucumber and sleep would cure. Unlike theirs, where the operation was rather concerning in regards of how their body would take it. How the body will heal and take in the changes..

“How long have you beenhere, Asmo?”

This human..When will they ever learn to answer before asking?

“Just an hour ago. Then Ifell asleep instantly.~”

Lies.He had been there for hours and perhaps a day?It had been so long since he moved from his seat from their operation and truthbe told..His buns.. his “ass”ets are kinda flat by now.Nevertheless..He would not miss being the first demon his human would see when they wake up.Never.

And to think he was out-waken by his human.

“Was there a nurse thatcame to visit me?”

“There was one that replacedyour IV and checked pressure while ago.”

Both eyes were soon by theIV with its fluid contents were nearly empty, something his lies however, couldnot cover.

“Wow.. Only a while ago withmy IV already up to be replaced? Asmodeus..”

Oops?

“Fine..I have been here formore than a while..”

Pouting their lips with theireyes gazing afar from his to the round décor by the wall, it was evident how hehad spent overnight beside them without any flinch or reconsidering even tomove from his seat before he could see his reflection once more on their eyes.

“You have dark circlesunder your eyes already.. Do you want to switch places? I will take a seat andyou will lie down on my bed?”

“You are not yet advised toeven sit up, darling.” The demon argued. “Dark circles could be remediedeasily.”

This human just woke up and their first concern is him?Or more specifically, his looks..Truth be told, the same could be said with him but They now come in second.His main priority is them.

“But..”

“No buts now, dear.”

Smiling seeing theirfeatures an upside down reaction to his, he nudged his seat closer to them, hesoon let his pressed his lips against their forehead before stroking a fewstrands of their hair that were, unfortunately, bit too sleek to his liking;

“Darling?”

“Hmm?”

“Want me to help you.. wash?”

“Asmo!”

Blushing at his suggestion,it was more of a concern rather than his usual evocative invitationsconsidering how several cords would hinder the progress, not to mention how thenurse would dutifully remind him of how their hand where it is injected to,should remain unmoved otherwise, blood will come out and ascend to the tube;

“I am quite serious.”

“Eh?!”

“I could wash my darlingbefore breakfast. What do you say?”

“Asmo…”

Finding this all amusing,it was quite difficult to put the talk into a more serious tone but with thenurse coming in an hour or two for their breakfast, it seems the Avatar of Lusthas to surrender it all;

“I could get a towel and abowl so you could work clean yourself while I will be in charge of cleaning anddrying it What were you thinking, silly?.”

“Oh..”

“It looks like someone ishaving a different idea. We could always do that.~”

“Asmo!”

Oh it is good to have them back.

Beelzebub

“Is this what they have inthe cafeteria?”

It was then, that even theAvatar of Gluttony found food unappetizing. They were looking rather bland andfrom the faces of the people eating, they seem to care more about filling inthe void there is at their guts rather than actually enjoying the food.

He would most certainly beable to tolerate it, especially when he sensed his tummy rumble when his palmrested on it but, for his human to also have the same experience?

It was a big no-no.

With an hour and a halfbefore the nurse or staff would give their meal for the noon, the Avatar ofGluttony followed his second brain to scout and find stores that sells betterfood.

Tastier food.

Just the thought of it hadhis stomach grumble as his nose then sniffed out, making several stops near thehospital’s vicinity, surprised with what mortals could do with simple and fewingredients that the demon presumes to be readily available.

Perhaps he should come around and know their delicacies more?He had always heard stories from them about some food that are spoken not tohis language despite being Gluttony himself.

With goodies in a largebag, truth be told, he was not accustomed to what his person would call “terminalillness”. It was a shock and the thought of it became overwhelming. His pacewere gradually slower as his mind could not erase their confession of theirailment, how they warned him, but did he listen?

He did.But he did not want to let it hinder them.And he will never let it be.

…

“That’s all for you?!”

At this point..

His eyes were fixated ontheirs, breaking its trance with the sound of the door shutting, making hiseyes travel lower down to their figure. They have been getting thinner thanthey were when they were introduced, having his rear colored with dark blues.

Perhaps, it reminded himtoo much of famine.. Seeing it onto the privileged’s eyes as they take what is supposed to be shared to others.

Taking the moment to settlewhat he had brought over by a small bedtable, his lips subconsciously drew asmile, refraining himself from making a comment or two about it.

“Why is that what you wouldalways say..”

With a giggle or two, therewas already a feast laid out on the table, making no room for the food providedby the facility, something he would just have to eat all to himself to trickthe staff, his eyes reflecting how swell they looked from sensing the newvarieties offered on their plate.

“Didn’t I mention we would have lunch together?”

“Yup. And I always get myusual hospital food.. But not anymore!~”

“Now hold on before diggingin..”

Munching the food away toreplenish the sense of famine within him, diverse yet complimenting flavors overwhelminghis tongue, it was obvious the Avatar of Gluttony could not help either to moanto compliment the divine food he just purchased or continue munching as thoughthey were alive and would run away.

“Umm.. Beel?”

“..Yes?”

Hearing them laugh ascrumbs went onto his shirt like a waterfall, his eyes fell too onto theirplate.

They have not even touched their plate..

“Could you help me slice upthis chicken?”

Is this why they are so thin?Because the food is rather inaccessible for a one-hand person?

“Of course.”

It took quite a while forBeelzebub to settle his fourth hamburger and mince to their favored sizes.

If that is the problem..Maybe he could offer them a solution instead.Him.

“Now say ahh..~”

“Beel!”

“Hmm?”

“I could do it on my own..”

“Not when I am holding yourfork, you couldn’t.~”

Belphegor

Violently shaking what heheld dearest onto his arms, not even a flinch or any movement came about totheir chest, making himself tremble, holding them closer to him.

It couldn’t be true.This is just a dream..He needs to wake up.

Belphegor could take on anyhardships there is, burden there is, but not facing the inevitable yet.. He wasnot ready yet.

And probably never will.

To an Avatar of Sloth,wasting time had been his forte, and to spend it efficiently.. is this what hisdream is communicating him with?

“Nnnn…”

“No.. no..no…”

“Nooo…”

Sensing his consciousnessseeping through, his body felt like being electrocuted by the door creaking anda stranger’s voice entering.

How long has he been passed out?

Usually, he could care lessabout such trivial matters but feeling like sleeping schedules and body clocksbut with someone’s life given with a countdown…

…

“Good evening. Is he your guardian?”

Turning his head to facethe voice, his vision soon could interpret the man as the hospital’s securitywith his record book at hand and a pen, his eyes for a moment, on Belphegor’sstate.

“Yes he is.”

There they are, sitting onthe sole chair provided for the guest with the metal rod or pole accompanying them,assisting the flow of the IV through their veins.

“Will he be stayingovernight?”

“He will be.”

“On it. Seems like he’s thepatient rather than you are. Ta-ta!”

“That’s not true…” Hemuttered, dark hues reappearing on his rear just as they were visible in hisdreams.

“Are you okay, Belphie? Youwere sleeptalking again..”

“I was?”

Shit.

“Just a random dream, Isuppose.”

By the looks of theirfeatures, it did not take too long for Belphegor to know how his response wasunpleasant.

So much for someone who just woke up..

“I just had a nightmare.The curse of sleeping too much.”

He dare not bring up hisown troubles. That would be insensitive nor does he wish to press an issueregarding their limited lifeline.. Truth be told, humans are mortal beings butwith an illness pressing them down towards the inevitable further…

“Would you like to tell meabout it?”

Tell them about it?

“It is just nothing..”

“You’re not really a goodliar, Belphie. How about we get to talk to it with a cup of coffee?”

Though the mattress wasrelatively comfortable and the pillows plump with the scent of theirs, like acertain paradise created for him, his body voluntarily get up and made them coffee.

“Don’t you think my habitsis just wasting your time?”

Crap.. What was he thinking?This is why he should have coffee first before even saying anything..Caffeine before making a mess out of himself.

“What do you mean?”

Too late. He dug himself deeper into this.

“Well..” his back facingthem as the kettle was settled down to two mugs, the powdered mix adding hue tothe pouring hot water; “I am the Avatar of Sloth and I tend to take naps moreoften.. sleep, you know… waste ti—“

“No.”

“No?”

“Because any time with youaround is time spent worthwhile.~”

Bewildered with howcheerful a mortal could be despite their lifeline drawing thinner by everyshift there is on the hands of their own clock?

“I do not understand..”

Parting his lips to gentlysway the heat away from the cup, their hands touch as they reached out for thecup, something with their heat warmer than a hot cup of coffee could provide…and it is rushing towards his cheeks;

“Because I get to hear yousnore.~”

Excuse me??Snore..Have his human mistaken him for Beelzebub?

“I do not snore!”

“You do! And yousleeptalk.~”

“That’s another thing!”

Giggles turning tolaughter, made it all the more embarrassing should he, indeed, does snore. Hishuman was someone who could not lie convincingly, at least for someone who istrained efficiently to sniff the BS out of his brothers;

“I do not snore..”

“Yes you do!” And theyproceeded to imitate it.. or make it looklike he does..?

“Okay, that’s enough..otherwise, I would make sure you get to sleep first before I do.”

“Noooooooo” and theyproceeded to sip their cold coffee, preparing themselves for the battle on ‘who gets to stay awake longer to witness the other fall asleep’.

_________________________________________________Updated masterlist here.

#obey me game #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me headcanons #anon ask #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #mod shin-seul

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plasmapop · 5 years

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(1/2) hey, this is a pretty broad request but i'd rly rly appreciate it if you could answer in as much detail as possible :) ive won a few things here and there for my poetry but if im being real i have no fuckin idea what im doing lol. i have literally no technical knowledge of poetry (e.g. how to manipulate form/metre/the diff types of poems) and as a result i write everything in freeverse. my biggest strength is probs being able to create strong/emotional imagery but like

hello! there is a Lot happening here but i will try!

i answered a question about writing in metre here. i learnt about forms and metre and stuff in like. year 7 english class, where we got told the names for different feet and also what sonnets and villanelles are. The Rest Is All Google. there’s a wiki page with a list of poetic forms and for various catullus translations i was just going like. oh that sounds cool! cinquain time babey!

but also i only really write metrical/formal poetry when i’m translating things and most of my own stuff is free verse…… or is it?????? imo free verse literally! doesn’t! exist! first of all because lots of “free verse” poetry secretly has metrical lines. one of my fave poems is postscript by seamus heaney and for a While i was like. how is the ending so Familiar and Conclusive! and then i noticed that the final line and also a bunch of other lines are Secretly Iambic Pentameter. free verse is also Fake because it is not Free. formal poetry feels like way less effort to me because with a sonnet, you Know where the lines have to end. there are fewer Decisions To Be Made. but to make “free” verse not just prose with linebreaks, you have to think about Every Single Decision! you have to find the best place to end each line and get the sounds right and make sure the rhythm of every line fits together right! and you can figure out how to do That by reading free verse which is good, and seeing what lines start and end on and why it works, and by reading free verse which is Bad (dare i say r*pi k**r) and trying to figure out why the linebreaks are where they are (it’s arbitrary). the tldr is that once you can recognise formal/metrical things, you can notice them in the poetry that you read, and then see what effects they create, and then do that yourself. nice!

The Content Of A Poem However! idk if it’s technicality which adds to the meaningfulness of a poem so much as how the meaning is expressed. which yea is in words which are arranged technically, but is also in the choice and arrangement of images and stuff. poems That I Like i feel have a Cool Idea which is then expressed in Cool Imagery…. but it is the idea that is the cool and important thing. which isn’t to say that an interesting image can’t develop into an interesting idea, but that if a poem is just oh ichor pomegranates hands oh darling [reference to greek myth] teeth then like. what does that Say. is there actually anything to untangle behind that. sometimes? anyway. in a display of hubris im gonna go through how i wrote my timothy corsellis prize poem as an example of how to do whatever the fuck im doing

The First Thing is figuring out what a poem is About. i read a bio of anna akhmatova and Made Some Notes, and then read the lines abt cuneiform in requiem and went oh! gilgamesh! -> people and writing are both clay -> the idea that people are stories as much as writing is -> the fragility of clay as either writing or people

then i did some Thinking about how the only mention of writing in requiem is the cuneiform, but akhmatova couldn’t actually read cuneiform. which lead to the tension between text as immortalising or incriminating. thinking about Text made me think about Textiles, and then i got the image of requiem as like lace. “history with the gaps already woven in” stays all the way until the final version.

THEN i was thinking about differences between lace and clay. lace has holes in it, but memorialisation through textile production is still memorialisation through Production, whereas cuneiform holds memory in Impressions, which are Absences. so then i made a list of things with holes in that i might want to use elsewhere in the poem. near the end it kinda turned into fun and related images that are Not about holes

next is more thoughts abt the cuneiform image in requiem and what it Means, re: a face only memorialises when it is near death or affected by death? here is where i figured out that i wanted to keep the lace image, but say that requiem is Not like that, because memory is an Absence, and because for akhmatova a text/textile would be incriminating. “what she describes, she cannot write down” happened here, referencing one of the quotes at the start of requiem, where a woman in the prison queue asks akhmatova if she can describe it, as in, is it describable at all?

once i had the central ideas of people as unreadable texts / memorials without words / tension between memory as presence or absence, i tried doing. a Coherent Draft. stanzas here started “the winter” but in the final version start “in those days” because i realised. if you’re talking about how it’s Cold, you don’t have to mention that it’s winter, and also to reference an akhmatova poem that repeats “in those days” a bunch. it might be pwoah?

when i figured out most of the images i wanted and had vaguely functional sentences i Clarified the ideas / order of ideas / message i wanted in the poem so i wouldn’t get confused, and then i rearranged bits of drafts, and then rewrote several more drafts. “what she describes, she cannot write down” turned into the opening “she can describe this, but not write it down. / to write it down would be like making lace: // history with the gaps already woven in, unravelling” etc etc which! you may notice! means the first two lines are iambic pentameter, which is Neat Like Lace, but the line about Unravelling is where the metre Unravels also. i also just made the sentences Nicer. stuff like adding in sound effects so lines resonate with one another (drown/down/sound at the end of successive lines) and splitting the poem into numbered sections, which i decided to do because it didn’t feel like a continuous narrative so much as several approaches to an idea, and also bcs requiem itself is split up like that.

And Then Finally i came up with a title like. 4 minutes before the deadline for sending the poem in :/

hopefully that was Vaguely Useful? most of my poems start with a Fun Idea, develop through me overthinking an image for that idea that i think of while half asleep, Get Really Complicated And Accumulate Imagery, get Clarified and also tidied up, and then submitted right before the deadline. The End.

#Let's Hope The Readmore Works #also. wow talking about drafts is Fun #r #Anonymous

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grotesquegabby · 4 years

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Might be a long answer but I wanted to ask X3 What is your opinion about every single killer in DBD?

awe shiet~ here is the list and how I feel x3

GhostFace: I just played against him and seeing him run by all I could say ahh its the sexyman himself mmmmmm.. x3 I love Ghostface but I make a lot of them mad but they arent the only killer I make mad. x3 I leved mine on the switch up to level 6 but still havent played as him. I cant wait~ They do be sneaky which makes sense its Ghostface. I also like going up against him cause the sound of his knife swing is just (9 u^u)9 beautiful~

The Shape/Micheal Myers: big and beefy mmm those broad shoulders~ Its terrifying going up against him cause just like Ghostface kind of a small terror radius plus his theme music gives me feelings. Not all of them terrifying x3 lol anyway~....for some reason Ive ended up as the obsession more often with Micheal. Lucky me? x3

The Executioner/Pyramid Head: They nerfed his ass because it was too powerful, and only a few people still have that skin for pyramid head. Bring back his ass! (9 *O*)9 ahhhhh, but mm I like him, Ive been I think...moried by Pyramid head twice. ANd hes the only killer to have moried me at the moment. He moried me each time because I pissed off whoever was playing him x3 I kept being a ...distraction.

The Trapper: Ive played against some new trappers and recently some who played him really really well. Ive heard a little of his story and eee sounds like a daddys boy. Really looks up to his dad and it did not seem like a healthy role model whatsoever but im still working on getting story since I havent played as killer just yet. Gotta be in the right mind set. uwu But this is an alright killer its easy for me to avoid traps and usually get out of them if I have Feng as my character.

The Wraith: Ive had....a time with the wraith. Recently a lot of good players have been the wraith and its frustrating but this is a killer i do feel kind of bad for. I wish I knew how the wraith became the wraith and looking like how he do but his little backstory got me feeling bad for him. But damn his invisible ass be making me mad x3 Like theres a survivor right there but no you gotta come at me. maybe he knows something about me that the survivors dont i dont know x3

The Hillbilly: I dont know if Ive won against the hillbilly but his story makes me feel bad for him too. His parents got what was coming to them. But poor guy part of mes like cant we just show this killer some love and compassion and maybe he can be better ;7; but hes gotten me a lot x3

The Nurse: The nurse i find to actually be an easier killer to face cause she moves pretty slowly but the last one I faced downed two survivors and stood right by them waiting for me and the other person still standing to come heal them. I think we managed to heal them but I dont remember if we all escaped or if she got them again. uwu I also...feel for her backstory as well. shes been through so much emotionally and mentally...im not surprised about what happened to her but i feel it could have been avoided somehow...again I feel bad for her.

The Hag: another killer I feel bad for due to their backstory...but I do dislike going against her..and her charms.....Her fucking decoys scare the shit outta me and its a bitch and a half to unhook someone x3 but it does keep one on their toes. Ive only escaped her once every time after Ive died x3

The Doctor: This bitch...ive noticed playing against the Doctor usually results in camping....letting people bleed to death and being used as bait for other survivors. Usually the Doctors are assholes from what Ive seen most of the time anytime I go agaisnt a Doctor its a lot of the same tactics.

The Huntress: I feel for her story but i also dislike how she took care of the little girls she kidnapped. Like...why did they starve to death first of all...she knows what starvation is so yeah...anyway Ive faced Huntress many times. Always narrowly avoiding her thrown hachets. fun x3 Ive tricked her many times too even when she camped this one round I faced a few days back. (- =w=-) hehehe still fixed that last generator~ But shes pretty decent to go against. I think there was a time one tried to help me exit but.....didint do so good they kept dropping me by the door expecting me to get up but i was too injured for it. then the entity got me.

The Clown: hate him...one; he ugly. two: he nasty and not in the good way. Three: i dont like his outfit..its gross. four: i find his aesthetic awful. its displeasing to my eyes. It never described what he did to his victims but.....something about him just I really dont like. Could be the fact hes kind of like John wayne gacy but....something makes me feel...gross u.u So out of most of the killers besides the Doctor the Clown does make me uncomfortable. and I love clowns but not this clown.

The Spirit: Her story made me sad..and angry. Like oof....I dont have all the words to describe how I felt for her. But shes an interesting killer, ive faced her only a few times. I can hear her scream and it sounds so sad and painful though like part of me wants to run to her and be like ahhhhhhh ill scream with you, screamings cathartic. x3

The Deathslinger: faced him once? I dont think I lived...I was the distraction too many times in that round and probably got hooked near dying so x3 but his gun is cool glad I didnt get grabbed by it though. Apparently as it drags you in he walks to you.

The Oni: big~ I mean spooky x3 I like this guy. Ive faced him a few times. I dont know his story I dont think I’ve read it yet but I do like him. Is it true him and the spirit are related, if so thats neat but damn...is her family cursed or something like whaaa! its terrifying when he gets all powered up and charges. I saw him run down the map and I was shook!

The Demogorgon: the noises...mmmm. anyway x3 recently made one mad~ stayed near me while I died on the hook. But I do enjoy going up against it as long as its one of the open maps. those building maps like the school or hispital ;7; i hate it, i hate going against any killers in those type of maps.

The Plague: I personally dont like vomit x3 but I do like The Plague. shes pretty~ (- uwu-) I faced her in the hospital and died too but like x3 it was interesting. Ive never been vomited on before oh wait nevermind babies did that to me. but by an adult no never x3 her story is interesting but I also do sort of feel for her as well cause of it.

The Legion: Didnt know these were teens till you mentioned it x3 I like their masks. Every time still...i played against legion again this week and it was one of the bunny skins. x3 they got me it was the first time a legion played saw me and got me. pretty nice playing against Legion though.

The Pig: Played against her once I think i dont think i got the trap on my head but i dont fully remember. uwu seeing the little puppet made me smile~

The Cannibal: I dont really care for the movie series despite not seeing it but ive seen enough clips and heard anough to know I wont like it. Facing him is a bitch and a half with his flailing. The last few times Ive played against him everyone died.

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gontagokuhara · 5 years

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you should tell us abt ur fangan kids!

ive been meaning to answer this but itz long so i wanted to put it under a cut!!

hibiki (he/they) is the ultimate demolitionist! i cant draw but his design and whole aesthetic is literally just. minecraft creepercore. they’re 4′10″, they wear full-eye black contacts bc Crepper Aesthetic, and he just. likes to blow shit up. he’s the rival in my group killing game and i love him SO much

yuri (he/him) is 100% my kinnie oc as the ultimate camp counselor. despite being very good at what he does (duh), he hates it. the responsibility of having to maintain the fun and safety of a bunch of kids is shaving years off his lifespan. and, amazingly for him, he immediately gets assigned Group Dad against his will during the killing game. he also carries at least four fanny packs at all times, each containing snacks and capri suns, first aid supplies, arts and craft supplies, and a fucking tazer (which he usually threatens to use against hibiki).

kimi (she/her) is the ultimate candy maker! her entire aesthetic is cotton candy, in which her hair is dyed blue and pink, she likes soft, puffy clothing, and she’s just a really sweet (ha) person in general! she gets along with most all of her classmates bar a few. she has lesbian disease also

miyah (she/her) is the ultimate witch, which sounds really cool, until she opens her mouth and you realize she’s the crystal-wielding, essential oil-drinking, anti vax queen you were warned about. she’s very sweet and very soft spoken, and genuinely tries to be kind to everyone, but she’s very much a you love her or hate her kind of personality.

koya (they/them) is the ultimate swashbuckler! swashbucklers are a hero archetype defined by flamboyant movement, sword-wielding, chivalry, and daring adventures. koya is a sea-faring spirit, and they fill their time in the killing game enthralling the others with stories of grandeur and convincing all of their classmates that they are a legit pirate. koya is a liar, they exaggerate…a lot, but their intentions are not malicious and their tales just come out a bit more romantic than they actually happened. they’re very charming and laid back, and they’re definitely the sort of heartthrob character that everyone wants to smooch.

chieko (they/them) is the ultimate girl gang leader, and they are also ultimate lesbian. they’re sort of isolated from the rest of the group due to their talent being considered scary, and their very intense and intimidating appearance and personality. they’re major concern is to escape the killing game and find their way back to their girls (they say as much, which makes everyone VERY suspicious!) but they wouldnt hurt anyone and they end up becoming best friends with yuri and masako (who i’ve lovingly dubbed the parent squad of this class)

speaking of masako (she/they), she is the ultimate investigative journalist, and this killing game’s trial helper! she is very well traveled, and takes what she does very seriously. they are completely and utterly devoted to the truth, good or bad, they will find the truth. they absolutely detest koya for this reason; even little lies absolutely grind masako’s gears. she also is very distrustful, and she doesn’t trust anyone at the onset of the killing game. it takes her a long time to warm up enough to the protag to share her findings during investigations, and she often comes across as somewhat of a rival during trials due to her critical nature and the way she very blatantly does not trust those around her. nevertheless, later on she is (against her will) forced into the Parent Squad with chieko and yuri, and though she doesn’t trust anyone else, she will do everything in her power to keep more killings from happening.

daichi (he/him) is the ultimate superhero, and he was the first dr oc i actually made!! he’s very much a pretty boy (fluffy blonde hair, pink eyes, freckles, he’s just Cute) and he and hibiki start dating during the killing game! he’s sort of a bastard and won’t give anyone a straight answer on what his superpowers actually are, but despite his kind, cheeky nature, he feels a deep sense of responsibility and guilt over not being able to do anything about the killing game. he is one of the more likely people to go snooping for the mastermind, and he’s gotten in physical fights more than once with people he deems suspicious.

hirohito (he/him) is the ultimate joggler and he’s the greatest character of all time. what is joggling, you ask? don’t worry, he’ll tell you. i came across this while looking for talent ideas, and i laughed so hard i cried when i conceptualized this fiend. he’s very much the token joke character, he’s a hot head, and he’s kind of a dick, but the idea of hope’s peak allowing the ultimate person who can juggle and jog at the same time into their doors is just too hilarious to pass up. protag joggler 4 life

speaking of people who are kind of dicks, meet yuuto (he/him), the ultimate dancer. he’s such a hot head. he hates the most of his classmates out of any other character, including the mastermind. he’s dating the protag, who is one of like…four people he actually likes in his class. yuuto takes his talent very seriously, and spends hours every day working to maintain his status as the best of the best. his talent comes before everything else (or, at least, it did), but if his talent comes first, then the people he cares about take up every other place on the list. he doesn’t tolerate many people, but those he does, he is fiercely loyal towards. he would kill and die for the people he cares about. he is 5′2″ of pure kickass, and he will throw everything he has into defending the people he loves. i lvoe him.

michiko (she/her) is the ultimate influencer (yeah. i know). she’s an internet personality who has followings on instagram, twitter, youtube, tiktok, et cetera. she is also one of my earlier oc designs, and i’m kind of attached to her lol. she’s very naturally magnetic and has a lot of friends among her classmates, but she does have a tendency to get hung up on things like follower counts, conventional beauty, and wealth. she has a huge (mutual!) crush on koya, she’s best friends with hibiki, and she has an intense fear of swimming pools (her hair is dyed, and chlorine is way bad for dyed hair)

leeanne (she/her) is the only non-japanese character, and i. she’s a mess. she’s the ultimate theatre kid, and she’s basically every broadway tumblr user when h*milton was super popular. she complains about musical bootlegs, becries her classmates for not knowing anything about the musicals she stans, and she’s just. lord. obviously she’s a joke character, and she’s honestly a caricature of the kind of shit i got up to (to a degree! don’t call me out sdkjdsjbd) when i was 15 years old. suffice to say, none of her classmates like her very much

tomoya (he/him) is the obligatory ultimate ???, and also our trial ruiner! he earns the distrust of his entire class by keeping his talent a secret and then having it revealed by masako, and as a result he is very outcasted and lonely among his peers. he’s a naturally very reserved person, and his situation lends him to feeling very lonely. most of the class suspect him to be the mastermind – whether they’re right or not, only time will tell.

katsumi (she/her) is 1/3 of what i’ve dubbed the Showbiz Squad as the ultimate pageant queen! she’s been participating in and winning beauty pageants since she was very young, and she’s won all the way up through the pageant ranks. as one would expect she’s very beautiful, and she’s also very bright and charismatic, which lends itself well to gaining allies in the killing game. she is by and large very fake, though, and she operates as a mini antagonist for various reasons.

hikaru (he/him) is another third of the Showbiz Squad, as the ultimate game show host! he’s very ostentatious and charismatic; he’s always ‘on,’ always playing the gracious, enthusiastic host. there’s always a smile and a flashy, charming quip in his mouth, so he can wear very gratingly on the less enthusiastic and personable kids. he definitely would be a tumblr sexyman if he were an actual dr character {sweating emoji]. despite the crowd he seems to gather wherever he goes, no one knows much about him; and he likes to keep it that way.

and finally, the last third of the Showbiz Squad, and also the protagonist: hachi (he/they), the ultimate child star! as their talent would indicate, hachi was a child star, and he absolutely detests the showbusiness world as a result. he really dislike pretty much…everyone who represents that part of his past (katsumi, hikaru, and michiko are prime examples) and his least favorite thing is getting the question: “omg where you in ___?” they’re very emotionally and physically fatigued by all the bullshit going on around them, so they come across as fairly apathetic to most people. but in actuality, hachi is someone who craves stability and kindness, and their extremely blunt, extremely annoyed exterior hides a very soft, compassionate interior. i absolutely adore this character :D

and umm thats it for my kids! i (for the most part?) have all of the killers/victims worked out, i have my mastermind all planned, but i’m still working on a setting/obligatory extra mono-creature/how this group falls within the dr canon. i love talking about these guys so if ur interest in them pwease send me asks/messages about them 🥺

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turquoisequiche · 6 years

Text

Need to vent

Ps: this is long and I'm on mobile so I cant add a "read more" divider. Just scroll thru it real fast thanks.

So I'm a recent graduate and I've been feeling and thinking about a lot of things. I feel like I've just sprinted through 3 years to achieve my degree, and that has been my goal the whole time. So now that I've achieved it... what next?? All I know is that I need to secure a job but hahaha this is where I start worrying.

I feel like I DONT KNOW SHIT. I dont know anything about the real world and wtf have I learned in uni? No fucking idea. Second, I fucked up in uni by not getting an internship. I tried applying but it was extremely competitive (got none), applied for part time jobs (went for some interviews, got none) so I told myself to focus on my studies cause I cant be failing! Because as an international student one subject costs about $4000 hahahfuck. Basically I have jack shit to show for on my resume, I would say i have decent grades... and small sections of previous part time jobs which counts as work experience... but other than that zilch :/ like i know im not good enough and i just think what's the point of applying if I'm going to fail anyway??

Another thing is now that I'm back in my home country for a break, I have to make a decision on whether to stay OR apply for a work visa back to Sydney which would be valid for 2 years. The thing is: to apply for this visa I gotta do it within 6 months of my graduation (which is by june), and I have to be in Sydney while applying it (also there's a hefty fee ofc oof). I feel like at this point and from advice I've received from relatives is to try something new that you wouldn't have done otherwise, just do it ya know. So if I follow that advice, I feel like I should go back to sydney, apply jobs there and gain work experience there for 2 years . Sounds dandy right?

bUT what if I dont get a job? I'mma be realistic here: fresh grad with less than impressionable resumes are gonna have a hard time landing a full time job. not to mention employers favor citizens and permanent residents over immigrants because of Visa and paperwork BS. From what ive read some ppl take 8 months ++ to get one. If that happens, that 2 year work visa is gonna be an absolute waste. And I feel so bad because my parents would be paying for that visa.

However what I'm gonna do for now is to send lots of resumes to employers in my home country and if I get a callback we'll see if I wanna stay or go. WHCIH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT: I FUCKING HATE JOB HUNTING. Why the fuck do I need to make an account on the employers website, craft my resume, peRSONALIZE THE COVER LETTER TO DIFF JOBS JUST TO HAVE HR GLANCED THRU THAT SHIT IN 2 MINS. I bet most of them don't even read the cover letter jFCCNJDJCKS. I absolutely hate writing that shit, it takes up SO MUCH of my time and just the whole process of job search takes like 5 hours. I'm also super meticulous about what I write and I'll make sure everything is done nicely down to the fucjing font size. So that's probably it as well. I hope I'll get better at this once I start applying for more.

This whole thing wouldn't stress me so much if there wasnt a specific time limit that I need to make a decision by!!! If I wanna apply for that work visa I'd also have to take an additional English exam (it's ridiculous but dont fucking ask why). Ok so the visa application takes around 50 days to process, that means I have to be in sydney by April if I wanna apply for it (to get the results by june). Which means I need to make a decision by March. My dad advised me to apply locally, and if I do get a callback before march, I can decide if I wanna accept any job offers and stay, or apply for the Visa anyway. But lets be real, I don't think I can get offers by March lol. I just dont really know what I should do. I don't know what I want at all and I'm so frustrated at myself and at everyone. Make wrong choices they said, you'll learn from it. But what if the choices you make comes at the expense of your parents pocket?

I just feel like my life is shit, I'm getting so worried, anxious and stressed that I'm literally having butterflies.

#personal

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kurainburdened · 6 years

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POKEMON AU pls.... bc i know ur passionate abt pokemon and honestly Me Too

III LOVE YOU!!! I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING THIS A THING WHERE I ADD IN THE SENDERS MUSE INTO THE HCS BUT MAYA AND YOUR MUSE NEVER INTERACTED WHICH IS A CRIME!!! Dont tell edgeworth or she might get arrested lol. But anway!! I want to do stuff with you!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS BECAUSE THATS REALLY SWEET OF YOU AND IM REALLY TOUCHED YOU REMEMERED I LOVE POKEMON

Number 1

Mayas first pokemon, funny enough isnt a ghost type, but a normal type. See, in the pokemon verse Mayas background is basically the same. The Fey village is basically unchanged in this worly except for one thing. On a certain part of the mountainside is a forest that travellers tend to get lost in for ages. Many report hallucinations as being the main cause for this so it’s kind of cut off. Maya, being the rebel she is, of course wanders it in hopes of conquering it. Her sister is usually the voice of reason and really it would only take her being like. what if youre lost forever or something to scare her into staying but shes not ther so into the forest she goes! It’s there that she finds a waterfall and goes there to train constantly. She tries and tries to channel spirits and one day, she succeeds! Or so she thinks. The first time she thinks she’s channeled another spirit, she sees herself as the spirit she’s been trying to channel, sees her now-possessed body moving and acting on it’s own. When she runs back to the village to tell her story, she’s told that she couldn’t have channeled a spirit because if she did she would’ve been unconscious.

Confused Maya goes back and tries again only to get the same result. After a bit of investigating Maya realizes the source of travelers getting lost and the hallucinations is due to a stantler. This Stantler saw Maya, this little girl training so hard that it took pity on her, and wanting to help in the only way it could let her see herself channeling a spirit. At first Maya is crushed and upset at the pokemon for giving her false hope but quickly forgives it and thanks it for wanting to help. The pokemon soon takes on this kind of caring role for Maya, along with also being her only playmate seeing as the other girls in the village are kind of distant with her. Her being the heir to the Master title and Morgan instructing them to listen to her and listen to all her selfish desires, leading to them being resentful of her. Anyway, also to build off of that. Once Mayas sister dies, she asks the Stantler to let her see her Sister again. And thats like a thing she did for awhile before telling it to stop because it became this painful reminder of something she could never do which is channel her sister. Actually fun fact she asked the stantler to show her her mother but was heartbroken when it basically gave her the answer that it couldnt because Maya didn’t have the memory of her mothers face anymore. Anyway. One time when shes particularly heartbroken and hopeless she laments in the forest to herself how shes so useless and cant do anything right. How she hates herself for being this way. Hates herself for not being able to compare to Mia or her mother. At this point she sees the image of her sister saying shes proud of her. Maya is angry at Stantler for showing her such a horrible lie and runs away. Only to later be told by the pokemon that it wasn;t trying to make her see her sister say that, rather it was the only way of communicating that even if no one else appreciated her, it was proud of her.

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF STANTLER ON TO NUMBER 2

That’s right another in depth backstory for another pokemon hopefully not as long lol

The next on the list is a primeape that lives in the forest, training with sawk and throh. It kind of ended up getting abandonned by it’s trainer in a place where this breed of pokemon aren’t really found but it’s found it’s place with the sawk and throh so it doesn’t mind too much. It ended up earning it’s respect with good old fashioned fighting and is kind of in a ‘king of the forest’ position. Scary and intimidating and bent on establishing its dominance to all that challenge it! Anyway, while Maya is exploring the mountainside of her village she finds out about it and it’s plain to see that Primeape has a certain amount of respect among the other fighting types. After having seen a cool tv episode where the hero challenges the strongest of the strong a really young Maya decides to do the same, announcing loudly when the pokemon is alone that she’s here to challenge the pokemon to a duel to the death! She runs up throws her small fist at the might and strong pokemon!

To which, not wanting to hurt this strange small child, primeape falls over dramatically, clutching the side which she hit and lets its tongue flop out all goofy in the hopes of appeasing her. Maya, not really sure what to do, honestly not even having thought this far ahead starts getting worried for the pokemon and starts crying to which it quickly gets up in a panic to reassure her its ok. From there it kind of takes on this older brother position with her. Also playing with her, letting her grab onto it as she swings throughout the trees.

Goodness this Maya is turning out to be much more of a wild child than her aa counterpart. She’s not exactly strong, but she’s more athletic I’d imagine in this version. More nimble but can definitely have her clumsy moments on occasion.

putting last three under cut cause THIS IS LONG. IF YOURE ON MOBILE IM SO SORRY

Number three!

Goodness I stuffed way too much into those other HCs but onto Phoenix! Anyway this also remains for the most part unchanged. What you think the pokemon world doesn’t need lawyers? Anyway, quick tanget but trainers arent really…it’s not a sustainable lifestyle, most people do it as a way of coming of age before moving into the respective field they took interest in during their travels. So no, if you have a pokemon au you don’t have to be some professional trainer. Professional battles are like a sport and trainers are athletes. Sure people enjoy it on the side but it’s NOT the norm to make it a living off of it. You have to be smart and strategic in a very complicatedf sport that takes a LOT of training and it’s not like in the game where if you spam tackle after walking around for 5 seconds you gain XP. its more like you’re a coach training 6 athletes in how to train their bodies in the best way possible while coming up with tons of game plans.

anyway tangent over. Phoenix is a lawyer and this taking place in the pokemon world only lends itself towards there being much more factors to consider when thinking of how murders occured. Her life with Phoenix for the most part remains unchanged but as a side note Maya encounters a lot of pokemon along the way during her travels with phoenix. She thinks strong heroic looking pokemon are cool so she tends towards pokemon like sawk and throh or conkeldurr. OH AND IVE BEEN SETTING THIS IN SPECIFICALLY UNOVA AND ONLY RESEARCHING THE UNOVA DEX FOR MAYA ND THE POKEMON THAT SURROUND HER.

I feel like.. Audino might enter theyre little group at one point? Like Stantler comes with her when she leaves the mountain cause Stantler is a worrywart and Maya is a mess and has never been down to the big city, but Primeape is more trusting in Maya and her abilities and knows shes much stronger than a lot of people give her credit for. He doesn’t come down the mountain to be with her until much later just cause he has a pack to guide. Actually the pokemon it leaves in charge is like another pokemon Maya is close with since it was primeapes apprentice and maya and this pokemon were kids together and kind of were the babies of the pack ANYWAY SORRY TANGENT.

aNYWAY AUDINO. A while back Audino were attempted to be integrated into crime fighting in some way since the way theyre psychic powers work they’d be able to sense overwhelming…i guess malevolence or evil or bad intentions but like. It’s just REALLY unhealthy for them and it really signifigantly lessens their lifespans just cuase all the negativity eats away at them emotionally and one of the pokemon, it’s really old honestly like it was one of the pokemon that originally was part of this attempt to integrate these pokemon with the police force and was luckily enough like it survived long enough for them to end the program and it just…can’t endure being around negativity anymore like it’s really stressful so it enjoys being around Maya just cause she is really kindhearted and senstive and good and the Wright office is filled with kind hearted people so it just takes comfort being there. It doesn’t really leave the office though and while it’s there for everyone it really does belong to Maya for the most part.

THATS JUST AN IDEA I HAVE THOUGH IDK IF ILL MAKE THAT PART OF HER CANON

Im kind of just going off on differen points in this one huh. Like the other wre a story here im just like SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Number 4 (where diana tries to stop being ADHD and hopefully doesnt fail miserably)

Honestly you’d think being part of a back of fighting types would make her more suited towards groups and make her less selfish. Spoiler alert. It didn’t If you think Maya is good at making people do what she wants now you shouldve seen her when she was a kid. Though it also means shes got a entire pack of fighting types who will die for her and if you make her cry you better be sorry. and if youre not you’re going to be.

Oh and also dont think that just cause Maya is a forest girl that oh shes strong and knows how to fight cause like. She really doesn’t. Honestly the pokemon around her kind of coddled her and outside of her gaining enough stamina to hold up against running around with her pokemon friends she’s not really….all that much stronger. She doesn’t know how to fight either. She can jsut run really fast and is more likely to attempt more dangerous things that she’s seen other pokemon do cause WHY NOT. She basically just has more dangerous influences lol

Number 5 cause i want to wrap this up a bit

Oh boy now what can i do for a fifth one lets see… see the thing is Maya is basically the same between the two versions of her except for certain like physical differents that I just listed.

I guess here’s one but she doesn’t….she’s not a good trainer. Like her team, right now, is an old man of an Audino. A Stantler that can only do hallucinations and is kind of bad at fighting and then this powerhouse of a Primeape.

The Primeape is a GREAT fgighter but tends to keep to the mountains unless it starts missing her and comes downt o visit real quick. Her other two are just…weak. Maya though is really good at thinking on her feet so she can use what her pokemon do have to come up with some great strategies. Thought his doesnt reall come out unless shes backed up against the wall. See the reason why everyone percieves Maya as stupid and useless is because that’s how she percieves herself. Maya for the most part does what she can in what she think she can do but doesn’t really let her true intellect show because shes convinced shes an idiot. She kind of jokes around with bad ideas but she really is quick on her feet and good in a clutch.

So the only time you see her good skills with her pokemon and coming up with inventive ways for these basically powerless pokemon to get her out of tight situations is when literally shes by herself, there’s no one else to rely on and lives are on the line.

#karumakissed #[ NEVER ASK ME ABOUT POKEMON AGAIN BECAUSE IM JUS TLIKE THIS THIS(TM) ]#HEADCANON「 waxing philisophical power hour 」

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sun-summoning · 7 years

Text

the adventures of the alien hunter gura-san and the space sadist (lol)

i. break up

sougo told her they shouldn’t split up, but kagura was insistent. you stay on the ship, she ordered, donning her cloak and grabbing her new and improved umbrella.

had it not been for the toxic gas this particular planet exuded, sougo would have been hunting down their bounty with her. but his human lungs cannot handle it, their fairly sophisticated ship had informed them, and so sougo was confined to the pilot’s chair with a walkie-talkie to keep him company.

sougo brings the device to his face. “i’m bored, china girl.”

there’s a moment before he hears static and the sound of kagura panting. he frowns, realizing she must be running.

“oi, china girl, you dead?”

he sure hopes she isn’t. he can make it off this planet on his own if he needs to, but the reality is that beyond the bounties they’ve been hunting to build their space travel funds, kagura’s brother was kindly supplying them with most of their weapons and other goods, all courtesy of his new harusame. and if kagura died, sougo would no longer have access to all the cool bazookas the now slightly less barbaric crime syndicate had to offer him.

that and her dad might kill him.

sighing, sougo presses down on the walkie-talkie once again. “china girl--”

“i’m not dead, you stupid sadist!” she finally replies. “but i will be!”

“oh. well that’s a shame.”

“shut up and turn on the ship’s cannons!”

“hm?”

“the cannons! i need help, yes?!”

doing so would require him to move to the other chair, so sougo slouches in the one he’s in and tries making the sound of static. “what was that, china girl?” he repeats the noise. “you’re breaking up...ajfhjhdgsa...i can’t hear you...”

he hears kagura screaming and snickers under his breath.

“you useless idiot!” the walkie-talkie booms. “i should have left you in your jail cell to rot!”

sougo flinches at that. much to his surprise, she doesn’t often bring up the fact that she saved him from having to cut himself open at the behest of the new government a few months ago.

feeling guilty, he starts the ships engine to do as she requested. the front lights turn on, revealing the sight of kagura running towards the ship with a massive lizard-like monster chasing after her.

“huh.” he blinks. “well shit.”

kagura yells curses at him, but they come from outside rather than the walkie-talkie. the monster seems to focus on the ship now rather than her, so sougo grins and shoots, resulting in an explosion of guts.

realizing he forgot to dial down the power of the cannon, sougo cringes.

“you idiot!” kagura yells from outside.

sougo stands and looks out the front, finding kagura standing in the front of the lights and covered in a nasty green goo that he can only assume was the monster’s blood, with chunks of its innards sliding off of her too. she begins screaming insults and so sougo points the cannon in her direction.

ii. cohabitation

their ship has one bed, which is fine because there’s rarely ever a time when they can both be asleep during travel. even when the ship is on autopilot, it’s only prudent that at least one of them be at the controls. but sometimes they find themselves at rest stop planets, wanting to sleep properly before taking on a more difficult mission because their funds are running low. this leads to them having to share.

first sougo laid down, patiently explaining to kagura that pets either slept at their master’s feet or on the floor. after that, she pulled him by the ankle and threw him into a wall. when he’d slumped down to the ground, she told him he could stay there. after another hour of bickering, they finally agreed to share. there was, after all, space for both of them and their egos included.

“oi, stop hogging the blanket,” sougo mutters. he pulls it away from her, effectively taking the entire thing. when she screeches in frustration, sougo rolls over to wrap himself in it entirely.

“i’m cold!”

“then get another blanket.”

he knows for a fact there’s at least another one among their supplies, he just refuses to be the one to get it.

naturally, kagura feels the same way, meaning the two of them will probably spend this night chilly and uncomfortable because they’re both too petty to let the other win.

he feels her find the edge of his blanket burrito before she pulls it. he rolls over, freeing enough of it that she can get under the blanket as well. it fits well enough over the both of them, sougo can admit, but--

“your skin is touching my skin,” she whines. “it’s gross, yes?”

“you’re gross.”

“no, you’re gross.”

“no, really, you’re gross.” sougo sniffs loudly for show. he turns his head and ends up with her hair in his face considering their proximity. “you still smell like that slime monster from the slime planet.” this isn’t true, of course. she actually smells like shampoo, but sougo isn’t about to tell her that.

kagura pinches him from under the blanket. “well you still smell like that the garbage disposal you fell into when we were on the dog planet!” that particular job had been about a month ago. also, he didn’t fall into it. rather, she’d pushed him in.

they insult each other for a good ten minutes, referencing the various planets they’ve visited in their search to restore sadaharu and build the funds required for that, reminding sougo of just how long they’ve been at this partnership.

soon they’re both fairly tuckered out and kagura’s head is lolling onto his shoulder. he doesn’t push her away, although he does blow at the locks of hair that are tickling his nose. she mumbles something of a goodnight in combination with a sleep-addled insult, and sougo does the same.

iii. future

since they’re in space and since they need a place to restock on supplies, they decide to visit kondo and his new wife on whatever gorilla planet she came from. he’ll be going back to earth shortly as per the agreement their governments set up, but if sougo ever wanted to see kondo, now would be the time.

sougo doesn’t know why kondo willingly went into this political marriage, but he suspects doing so is the reason the shinsengumi were able to disband rather than all be put to death. aside from himself, of course. thinking about all the times he nearly blew up katsura, sougo figures he had it coming.

before they leave the planet, kondo places a heavy hand on sougo’s shoulder and tells him that he’s glad he’s safe now. sougo is about to argue that being around a monster like kagura is hardly safe, but kondo soon pulls him into his arms for a hug. sougo doesn’t really care for this sort of contact, but with kondo it’s different. managing to relax, sougo returns the embrace.

“i’m so happy you two are together,” kondo whispers brokenly. when he pulls back, there are actual tears in his eyes.

sougo frowns. “ah, kondo-san, i don’t think you understand.”

“hush, sougo. i’ve always known how you felt about the china girl.”

"what.”

“toshi and i used to flail whenever you two had a moment.”

“what.”

“okay, fine. i would flail and toshi would tell me to stop. but that’s neither here, nor there!”

“kondo-san--”

“oi, sadist!” his completely platonic alien hunting partner calls. he grunts when she punches his arm in greeting before she turns to kondo. “gorilla, please thank the lady gorilla for all the bananas she gave us!” kagura gives kondo a quick hug before going off to load their supplies on the ship.

sougo watches her go, and when he turns back to kondo, he is now actually full on crying.

“kondo-san--”

kondo draws him back into his tight embrace, audibly sobbing and wiping his wet face on sougo’s jacket.

“i’m just so happy!” kondo says. “i wish you two all the best on your future together!”

sougo bites his lip as his eye twitches, not having the heart to tell kondo that this future doesn’t exist.

but then they leave the gorillas, working seamlessly on their ship to get to the next planet with dragon’s veins for them to investigate. sougo checks the weapons to make sure they’re all working properly while kagura flies the ship because she’s actually really good at it. he sits in the co-pilot’s seat when he’s done, and she glances at him briefly, smiling so softly that he can’t help but grin back.

looking out at the stars, sougo allows himself to consider that a future by her side wouldn’t be so bad. or, at the very least, the next few years for now.

iv. bad pick up line

kagura is not above letting random people flirt with her and offer to buy her a drink or a snack just to get free stuff. they offer pathetic pick up lines and compliments and kagura giggles and grins like she’s watched her dear anego do in the past. and then when she has what she wants, she runs away from her benefactors by stating she has a boyfriend and pointing his way.

he suspects he isn’t actually supposed to hear that last part considering it isn’t true and she’d probably scoff at him if he brought it up. soon she sits in front of him, sipping on a drink that she didn’t pay for, and then tries convincing him to buy her another one.

this time she actually pisses someone off. he’s an alien that sougo’s seen before, looking more or less like a walking hyena. he stomps over to where they’re sitting, seething over being scammed -- which, to be fair, sougo can’t blame him for -- and has the audacity to think this is somehow sougo’s fault.

“you the boyfriend?” the hyena asks with a sneer. he glares at kagura. “you better put a leash on your girl.”

“trust me, i’ve tried,” sougo solemnly explains. “she doesn’t like it though.”

kagura kicks him under the table. “oi!”

the hyena isn’t amused. he smacks the drink out of kagura’s hand, resulting in the glass shattering on the floor and creating a sticky mess. the rest of the pub goes silent and all eyes fall on them.

they can leave, sougo considers, but kagura just ordered their food and they’re pretty damn hungry. he can tell this hyena fucker to just piss off, but words aren’t really all that fun.

so sougo opts for his favourite option, smiling at kagura’s drink ticket of an idiot and standing up. the movement in itself is enough to have the other man take a step back. sougo assumes he didn’t expect him to actually consider fighting.

with the entire crowd of space traders and hunters and criminals alike watching, sougo is certain that if they start a fight, an all out brawl will overcome this bar.

“you better watch your back,” the hyena threatens.

“that sounds like a lot of work,” sougo replies. he grins as his hand falls to the sword at his hip. “so why don’t i just dispose of you now?”

the hyena’s eyes widen at the prospect of a fight, but sougo only gets to savour that sight for a brief moment because soon he’s falling to the ground. where his head was, sougo sees the end of kagura’s purple umbrella. she laughs at her handiwork and her cackles only grow louder when the rest of the hyena’s gang charge at them to fight.

sougo sighs to cover up the fact that he’s actually having a lot of fun.

“tch, china girl, you’re so annoying.”

v. time skip

after two years, the bedroom part of their ship has gone from “sleeping quarters” to “kagura’s closet, but like with a bed.” he doesn’t know how she’s gathered so much stuff, but she’s quick to point out that he’s not any better.

dragging him to their weapons locker that’s actually a weapon’s room, kagura gestures to the well-organized walls of blades, guns, bazookas, and more.

sougo frowns. “this isn’t the same thing.”

“this used to be where we kept supplies!”

“these are supplies.”

“they’re just toys and you know it!”

sougo pouts because it wasn’t his fault that kamui had a habit of gracing him with a second of whatever new weapon he had so that the two of them could test them on each other. sougo grins at one particular space sword fondly, remembering how he’d almost cut kamui’s head off with it.

“and you have a lot of clothes too, yes?” kagura points to a box in the corner labelled as explosives but that they both know are actually full of gear he’s gathered and held on to. after years of living in a uniform, he might’ve gone a bit crazy over all the things the rest of the galaxy had to offer. she removes the top and pulls out the black coat he’d gotten from a shop on rakuyou.

“like why do you have this jacket?”

“well, first of all, it’s not a jacket,” he points out. “it’s a duster. it’s like a jacket, only it’s longer, thicker, and far more badass.”

“it’s dumb, yes?”

sougo glares at her and stomps back to the bedroom. there he pulls out a cloak of hers that’s riddled with holes and patches and holes with patches only half sewn on. the ends are tattered and frankly, this thing wouldn’t even make a good rag.

“you have three other cloaks, not including all the other similar things you’ve acquired over the past two years.” he gestures to where they all hang. “and yet you wear this piece of shit.”

“because it’s my comfy cloak!”

“and the others?”

“the beige one is for camouflage, the white one is my formal one, and the black one is for when i need to look extra badass!” she yanks her comfy cloak out of his grip, and because he holds it tightly and it’s also so painfully thin at this point, it rips in half.

kagura screams in anguish, blaming him for this tragedy, and promptly stomping away. he feels smug for a moment, but then hears her rummaging around the weapons room. eyes wide with panic, sougo chases after her.

vi. kiss

sougo feels like an intruder when she cries over sadaharu in front of him. her arms are around sadaharu’s neck as she sobs, tears falling from her eyes and snot dripping down her nose. she rubs her face again sadaharu’s fur and he licks her in return. kagura laughs and despite the way her lip trembles over her newly restored dog, she smiles brightly and promises sadaharu she’ll never let him go.

“thank you,” she breathes. kagura straightens and faces him, while sadaharu settles at their side. “you helped me find a way to save sadaharu and now he’s--”

a glance to where sadaharu sits has her sniffing again. sougo wants to make fun of her or play it cool because her openly emotional self is making him anxious. he swallows thickly, trying to find an insult, but finds himself rendered silent by the gratitude in her eyes.

“thank you, sougo,” she repeats.

hearing her use his name throws him off even more. she’s said in the past, of course, although it was usually paired with an insult. now she uses it to emphasize her genuine feelings.

she laughs when sadaharu comes up to him, nudging sougo for a petting. sougo’s always been fond of the yorozuya dog, usually playing with him or sneaking him a treat when his owner’s weren’t looking. but now in front of kagura -- who, after two years of travelling together, no longer tries biting his head off for coming close to her dog -- sougo grins at sadaharu and touches his face. sadaharu leans into his touch and then licks his hand.

kagura makes a noise of amusement and then sadaharu comes closer to sougo. he suspects the dog is going to try eating his head like he often does with people, so sougo dips his head lower. sadaharu just pushes him forward though, resulting in sougo bumping into kagura and his lips falling over hers.

she squeaks in surprise as sougo sucks in a breath, realizing what just happened.

he draws away, ready to mutter an apology, but kagura’s hands are on his arms. she looks at him with bright eyes and a flush on her cheeks and then she starts to giggle because this is all just so painfully cliche.

“this happened in a shoujo i read,” she tells him.

he doesn’t notice the way his own hands settle on his hips. “and it happened in ladies four.”

“oh, i remember that episode.” kagura nods but his eyes stay trained on her lips. “i think they kissed again after the accidental kiss, yes?”

“are you angling for another one?”

she looks over his shoulder at sadaharu, who barks before shoving sougo once again.

vii. jealousy

as a fugitive, returning to edo is hardly as easy for him as it is for kagura. she often sits in the back with sadaharu, hugging him and talking to him about all the things they’ll do together when they get back to kabukicho. she’s so happy, so wholly and undeniably happy, that sougo feels guilty for resenting her for it.

after two years of being an alien hunting duo while investigating how to restore sadaharu, sougo can admit that he actually quite likes this life. but, he suspects, a large part of that proably has to do with the fact that he does this with her.

naturally, she picks up on his darkening mood, something she’s been able to do well before they began their galaxy-wide adventures.

“you’ll stay with us, yes?” she asks slowly. she focuses on the ship’s controls before taking a deep breath and turning her chair to face him. when he doesn’t do the same, she kicks his chair to turn it too. “sadist?”

“hm?”

“you’ll come with sadaharu and me back home, yes?”

sougo isn’t unused to the idea of being a fugitive. he spent plenty of time roaming the country with the shinsengumi to rally up forces and take down nobunobu’s corrupt government. back then, all he wanted was to go back to edo. all he wanted was to take naps in the park, shoot rockets at his superior officer, cause obscene amounts of property damage with the local alien girl.

but now he doesn’t know what he wants and he finds himself jealous of her for being so sure about what will happen next.

“we’ll see.”

his response makes her frown. “i won’t let zura execute you,” she promises. “i’m still leader, so he has to listen to what i say, yes?”

sougo shakes his head though, because katsura is no longer the head of an unofficial terrorist faction simply humouring a young girl. but if a moron like him could roam around edo for so long and evade being captured, sougo thinks he could probably do the same.

“i guess you’re right.”

“it’s been a long time since we were back,” she says, turning her chair. sougo faces the front and on a screen using ridiculous amounts of magnification, he sees the blue and green of earth. “i’m excited to go back.”

“me too,” he admits.

kagura grins at him and after a moment, he realizes he’s grinning too. she looks so cute with way her eyes glitter with excitement, with the stress of saving sadaharu finally off her shoulders. he leans forward, meaning to kiss her one more time, when he hears the telltale ring of their universal phone.

sougo says he’ll go get it, and when he sees the message that a new job is available, he grins.

“it’s the alien hunters guild,” he tells her as he settles back in his chair.

“oh?” kagura concentrates on flying as they maneuver through an asteroid belt. “what’s the job?”

“a herd of behemoths on the planet oukoku,” sougo reads. his eyes widen when he sees the reward. “good money, too.”

“how come?”

“i have a feeling the job is being requested by the royal family.” sougo skims through some reading on behemoths and oukoku and comes to the conclusion that this herd is a result of the time some of the co-king’s “pets” escaped into the wilderness the previous year. sougo shows kagura a picture of what a fully grown behemoth looks like in comparison to a human and they both grow excited by the challenge. “want to take it?”

her hands tighten over the ship’s controls as she considers the job. it would probably take them at least a couple of weeks, and oukoku was at least two days travel from earth. she bites her lip, contemplating the people she left behind there and the life she has now.

“that is a lot of money...”

sougo snorts. “enough to buy you a cloak in every possible colour.”

“and to buy you a dozen new bazookas.”

behind them, sadaharu yips. he’s not generally allowed in the control area due to his size, but he squeezes his face into the gap between their chairs and licks sougo and then licks kagura. he barks, excited, and kagura grins at sougo over sadaharu’s head.

“i guess we can fit in one more adventure before returning to earth, yes?”

#fic #okikagu #used the okikagu week 2017 prompts

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justasmallbloginabigklainefandom · 4 years

Note

I am extremely curious how dumb this loser has acted this time if your whole fam is like >>>>>>>>

BRUH IT IS TEA TIME

and upfront as i said in the tags, this isn’t super hot scalding tea like the time he cheated, but just dumbfuckery and him not wanting to learn while also being an ass. so yeah no biggie just idioticy but like.... i also hate his guts so lmao so i mentally make it all worse in my head cause i hate him

so my sister and bf work together cause he is kinda creepy and keeps switching jobs when she switches jobs so that he can work with her btw did i tell you he is very controlling and obsessive about her whereabouts he even called my mum once when he couldnt find her on the tracking app that he wanted her to have on her phone ANYWAY also working as a waiter at the same restaurant

and disclaimer: working as a waiter or not having the highest grades do not make you dumb. sheer and utter incompetence to grasp that you’re an idiot and not wanting to improve makes you dumb. he’s the latter.

also context: my entire family has worked in wait staff

BASICALLY he absolutely fucking sucks at his job up till the point where my sister can’t handle working with him and again, it’s his first time waiting tables so he can learn BUT THIS BITCH has the audacity to command my sister all the time and boss her around when my sister points out that he sucks

and we all go: “this is kinda rude and unreal, cause he has no business acting so bossy when he doesn’t even put any effort in his work”

sis: “yeah but he is just trying to be kind he doesn’t want to be bossy or rude”

us: “.... GIRL if he can’t wait tables that is fine but when you call him out on it or want to help him, he gotta know that you know better”

and tbh my entire fam is just like... HOW can she not see this? like, she talks about the crappy stuff he does at work (like rudely yelling from 2 metres apart to guests: “yo, you guys done? want the receipt?” when my sister asks him to ask if guests want the receipt) and she keeps asking for confirmation that she’s not bad for thinking he’s bad at his job (“you guys think that’s weird too, right? i mean, you shouldn’t do that, right? so you say it’s rude, okay, right? i am not wrong in feeling uncomfortable and embarrased, right?”)

so we confirm that it is just bad manners but that he can learn like we all did, since waiting tables is a skill (which, as you read, he puts no effort in), but she still just.... idk... i sometimes thinks she doesn’t want to admit that he is just not the perfect guy that she wants him to be. and she knows that he isn’t perfect. one thing that i GENUINELY admire from my sister is that she does not put up with all the crap he pulls (altho... i also dont understand why they just haven’t broken up yet like when will she SNAP). but yeah, she immediately jumps into his defense and i just think that it’s shitty. she knows he’s being unnecessarily rude and that she knows better. we confirm that multiple times. and then she immediately goes “oh but no he isn’t commanding he’s just- he doesn’t know better”

... babe

also since this guys is so unnecessarily obsessive about my sister’s behaviour and he continuously criticises her for little things she likes, i also just cant fucking stand him having the sheer audacity to act controlling and commanding over this. but he’s also a fucking cunt so i couldve seen it coming so me being surprised is on me i guess

basically i felt my braincells diE every time my sister talked about how bad he is at his job and AGAIN it’s a skill that you can learn and i can imagine that he just never was in that environment before but just the lack of motivation to even try to learn is YIKES to me, especially since my sister is the most driven person ever. she works hard for things she wants. she flaunts her knowledge. i mean do i think she’s stupid for taking him back in the first place, yeah, but apart from that i cannot emphasise how competent she is

but this relationship just also brings out the worst in my sister and the gap in competence makes it worse and worse

WHICH LEADS TO PART 2

his sorry ass hasn’t finished high school after failing several times and AGAIN that does not make a person less valuable (academic pretention is yikes), but he doesn’t even try and basically me and the fam believe he is straight up lying now cause he was supposed to hear if he has finally graduated around a month ago

my sis: “oh, he said he hasn’t gotten results yet”

us: “.... you know that all high schools are closed since the year has ended and that summer vacation started 1 week ago and that the test happened more than a month ago”

my sis: “YEAH but there’s less strictness and more extensions due to corona”

me: “yeah true but i just did a 5 second google search and even the extended deadline is over”

fam: “has he at least applied for further education??”

sis: “well no but he says he still has time”

me: “YEAH and ANOTHER 5 second google search showed that that extended deadline ended 2.5 months ago”

AND AGAIN your scholary achievements do not make you any less value bla bla bla, but he had A WHOLE DAMN YEAR to do one subject and even my sister said that it’s super easy and she doesnt get why he hasn’t passed it, but he just did nothing and he knows that my sister finds it very important that he can at least do something cause again she’s super driven and it makes her feel bad of her achievements

which is a RED FLAG. you know, women having to tone down their achievements in order to not outshine men’s fragility cause they don’t want a woman to be better than them

but i think she just realised that he’d been lying and yeah we all felt kinda bad for her, cause she doesn’t deserve that. she left and me and my parents just looked at each other like “would he lie about something so big?”

all of us collectively: “YEAH”

... i mean, he lied about cheating

i just for once want him to stop lying with his hypocritical ass. this bitch lies all the damn time but the moment he finds out my sister called a boy a year ago before they were dating, he needs to hear EVERYTHING (lol about that one time he tried to expose my sister for talking to a guy regularly even before they were dating.... it was our cousin Bobbie). so yeah he needs to know everything or he gets super weird but he can lie about shit like this (and cheating cause truly i wont be surprised if he’s done it again tbh)

and ugh this is a messy reply but just....

I FIND HIM SO STUPID FOR THIS and i feel so bad for my sister cause i can imagine that it’s not nice for her to hear all of this either, but FACE IT, this dude hasn’t tried to do shit for a year and now he’s lying and it just makes me so damn mad and she needs to hear it

i feel like this isn’t even the worst thing he’s done cause not knowing how to wait tables does not make you a bad human being, but this relationship is so incredibly unhealthy and toxic that ive reached a point that i am even worried for his well-being (and i FUCKING HATE HIS GUTS). this relation makes both of them so vile and it shows their worst and toxic sides, and i know my sister only does it to show him how unhealthy his behaviour is, but come on COME ON one day she’s gonna snap/

so these things just make it all worse for them in the bigger picture and either he gotta clear up his act or they just gotta break the fuck up

since i have no hope in the first possibility, im gonna join my grandma in praying for the second one

and that’s why we’re all like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

#anon #ask #that dude

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