#i mean if i buy it I’m probably going to use a $30 gift card on it but it’s still money i could use on something else

[fan-of-a-lot]

Idk i just think make up should have swatches on websites if they cost more than $10

[jasminebutintaiwansojiemin]

July 12th, 2024 星期五 - Taipei101 + 饒河街觀光夜市

We met around 10:30 am, then took the brown and red lines on the subway to Taipei 101, where we walked through a huge high-end mall and got to see Taipei from its highest point. To get from the info-desk area to the observatory level, we took an insanely fast elevator that went probably around 80 floors or more in less than 40 seconds. Inside the observatory level, there were a surprising amount of floral photo-op set-ups for visitors to take pictures, however I think the backlight from the floor to ceiling windows did not come out well in the pictures.

The view was pretty amazing. You can see the actual city as well as the lush mountainsides which remind me of the countryside of Jamaica. After taking some pictures in different scene in spots and admiring the view, I went to the gift shop to look at the souvenirs. These days, I try to buy souvenirs or merchandise that I’ll actually use, because I feel like it then carries more meaning to me. After browsing for a bit, I settled for a gold metal bookmark that was cut out in the shape of the Taipei 101 building and a postcard/necklace set. I’m not exactly sure what the necklace is but I thought it was pretty lol. Later, I went to the 90th floor to see the view from the sky deck. It was slightly underwhelming because of the wall/anti-jump gate but it was crazy being that high up and being outside to see the clouds at eye level. After coming back inside, I got the envelope of my postcard stamped with the free ink stamps. At around 12:30, the tour group met back together and we took the stairs to see the massive damper on the 88th floor. After finishing the tour, i went with some of my group-mates to eat at a banquet style restaurant about five minutes away from Taipei 101.

After eating, we took the red line to Taipei Main Station to try to meet some others in the underground mall but it got complicated and we just ended up going to a different above-ground mall. I bought some stationary from one the shops on the 4th floor. I noticed that in this mall, many stores weren’t completely walled off from others. For example, there was a section selling Hurley stuff and quite literally a couple steps to the right a whole other store. At first I figured it was just a giant department store we had wandered into, but now I think that’s just how the mall was. The mall was also connected to a mass bus terminal, which makes sense since it was across the street from the Taipei MRT main station. When one of the other girls went to the bathroom, I noticed there was an option of both western toilets and squat toilets. After shopping, we found another one of the girls in the program and figured out how to ride the red line to the green line transfer. We got help from this Taiwanese lady who spoke perfect English even though she’s Taiwanese. Her American accent was probably better than mine. When we got to the green line transfer platform, we ran into even more of the girls in our group and planned to visit Raohe Night Market after resting for a bit.

I started doing homework when I got in the hotel before decided to attempt to do my laundry. The washing part went fine and I took a nap in the meantime. I woke up to transfer the clothes to the dryer and then went back to sleep. The dryer did not dry much. After trying to figure it out for a while, my roommate came to help but she didn’t have any luck either. We opted to just put it to cold dry in the washer and figure it out later. While it ran, I went to get dressed. I wore pants all day and drowned myself in mosquito spray before because the day before, I got bit up by mosquitos. Before heading out to the night market, I brought my clothes back to the hotel room to finish drying. We took the green line of the MRT to the last stop and spent a few hours walking through the night market. I bought Guava, a brown sugar donut, and some hello kitty playing cards. We headed home closer to 11pm where I showered, FaceTimed by boyfriend, and did more homework.

Academic Reflection

Today’s reading focused on the building of and structural integrity of Taipei 101. It describes the unique damper, structural limits, and safety limits. The reading described how the World Trade Center in New York City went down because of fires, not because of the planes’ impact. It also mentioned that in Hong Kong, every 25 floors of a building must have a refugee floor that is empty and designed to resist smoke accumulation. Reading about safety limits in comparison to the World Trade Center after visiting Taipei 101 made me think a lot about when I went to the 9/11 memorial in New York City. I did notice that when we went down the stairs to the 88th floor, the rest of the stairs were blocked off. Aside from these stairs and the elevators, I didn’t see any other marked and visible exits. Thinking about safety, perhaps it was not the safest. The readings talks about how typhoons and earthquakes are serious concerns in Asia, which makes me think about the lack of clearly marked exits.

Something else I found interesting was the damper on the 88th floor of Taipei 101. The reading describes how the swinging of the internal damper would dissipate wind energy and prevent the building itself from swaying too much and possibly falling over. Our tour guide said that the damper was built to withstand a 10.0 magnitude earthquake. Recently in Taiwan, there were 6.0 and 6.2 magnitude earthquakes on April 23rd, 2024. This made me think about how perhaps being in a building like Taipei 101 would be good as an earthquake shelter. When walking down the street in Zhongshan, I noticed that there were signs showing certain areas to be aerial attack shelters. I have yet to see any signs pointing to earthquake shelters though.

[sanutopia]

ateez as boyfriends ♡

hi so this is my first drabble-ish thing on here so if u like it or want some more things like this please let me know :D  

im a sucker for ateez as it is, let alone ateez as soft boyfriends so find me crawling in a hole and crying 

seonghwa: 

loves to cuddle you while playing with your hair

loves when you go shopping and use his card because he enjoys the fashion shows you put on for him

loves taking pictures of you 

leaving random love notes all over the house? of course

fancy candlelit dinner (he almost burnt the house down)

soft video calls at 3 am while they’re on tour so he can tell you how much he misses you while pouting 

please compliment him a lot because he lives for it and won’t stop blushing for at least 30 minutes after

loves going to the park and taking long walks with you while holding your hand (he’s needy for attention and pouts when you don’t give it to him)

oh and also he does the thingy with his thumb where he caresses your hand as hes holding it yanno

loves to kiss your forehead

hongjoong: 

GO TO THE STUDIO WITH HIM AND LISTEN TO HIS WORK 

“baby i’m gonna send you this song, can you tell me what you think?”

matching/coordinating couple outfits with you... period

loves sending you cute pics of him while hes away or probably just in a separate room “do i look cute in this? i’m cute aren’t i?”

loves taking pictures of you as well and then won’t shut up about how good you look in them and how lucky he is to be with someone like you

loves to ask you about your day while eating dinner- he probably has his chin resting in the palm of his hand giving you his full attention

you make couple bracelets on his days off

loves surprising you with spontaneous dates

kisses your hand as hes holding it i’m not okay

you have rap battles at 3 am when neither of you can sleep

he’s the little spoon. i won’t budge on that

best pet names ever

yunho:

PLEASE CUDDLE HIM 24/7!!! back hugs!!! 

loves when you bury your head in his chest while hugging him because he can kiss the top of your head

hes literally a giant baby imagine when he’s away for a long time and sees you for the first time in a while?? he’s smiling BIG

loves to tease you jokingly and call you stupid names because he knows you hate that

steal all of his sweatshirts ALL OF THEM

constant dance battles (he incorporates dance moves into daily activities so please follow along)

i can’t stress this enough he is a giant baby and needs to be loved and appreciated at all times 

if he doesn’t get what he wants he will give you the face (you know the one with the big puppy eyes) its devastating truly

you play with his hair, not the other way around

loves squishing your cheeks and then kissing them

yeosang:

he falls in love very quickly so he’s willing to do absolutely anything and everything for you

GIGGLES 

compliments you a lot (sometimes it might be cringe worthy but he means every word and won’t let you forget it)

loves to cuddle up with lots of blankets and watch movies with you

sings you to sleep

sees you as his safe place- he trusts you with everything and will tell you everything after a bad day

shy in public

you get to see him daily without makeup.......kiss his birthmark for me

you also get to see his cute little sweater paws 

lowkey gets jealous but doesn’t show it

he’s a soft baby

take bubble baths with him!!!

loves picking flowers while on walks so he can give them to you :(

san:

when you kiss him too many times he starts giggling

he is so dramatic and extra.... i don’t think i have to explain that one

loves when you kiss his neck and pay extra attention to his neck freckles i’m absolutely broken

lives for hugs and his hugs seem like they last hours

he’s going to serenade you whenever possible (mainly when you’re busy) to get your attention

loves the game ‘just dance’ and will NOT hesitate to let you know he has the highest score 

he’s broken two vases and a lamp because he dances so hard

brings you a plushie from every place he goes - he ends up stealing every single one of them

loves taking naps with you and rubbing your back while you lay on top of him

sleeping until noon

TICKLE FIGHTS (imagine his laugh while you tickle his tummy....this is so sad)

make him smile so you can see his dimples!

loves writing you letters 

mingi:

he’s a huge dork

keeps you up until 2 am because he wants to tell you about conspiracy theories he has

“hey do you think-” “mingi please go to sleep”

movie marathons on a friday night, tipsy and full of junk food 

super clingy and very playful with you 

same with yunho, but will not let you forget how much bigger he is than you

“oh you can’t reach that?? that’s so sad..... i guess i can reach it for you since i’m tall boy :D”

evening walks in the city

loves introducing you to new music and new places

if he learns a new choreo he’s ACHING to show it to you

purposely buys two of every sweatshirt because he knows you’ll steal one

tells you stupid jokes just to see you laugh

also shy, gets embarrassed easily 

wooyoung:

wooyoung BABY

pillow fights, couch cushion forts, you name it

secret handshake? duh

POUTS and looks up at you with his big starry eyes

ᵗᵃˡᵏˢ ᶦⁿ ᵗᶦⁿʸ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵍᵉᵗ ʰᶦˢ ʷᵃʸ

loves to bicker with you simply because he finds it entertaining

won’t let you get out of bed because he won’t let go of you for the love of god

loves to cuddle you and will be the big spoon or little spoon

loves to spoil you and be spoiled and hes so cute when receiving gifts because he has the cutest reactions 

he is your number one fan and won’t hesitate to let the entire world know that

went to the grocery store once for milk and came back with 3 puppies 

“what else was i supposed to do, you wanted one and they were right there” 

“theyre cute like me right???” 

loves pecking your cheeks and booping your nose 

please make him laugh all the time his laugh cures cancer

jongho:

you get to hear him singing in the shower

loves to lay his head in your lap while you watch movies so you can pet his head

cheek kisses are so soft :(

hes so gentle with you and everything he does :(

loves putting his arm around you 

half asleep i love you’s 

kisses all over your face in the morning to wake you up

he loves you so much, probably more than you love him 

remembers every special occasion and sometimes treats regular days like special occasions 

will take you anywhere you want to go and would go get the moon for you if you asked

i’m not going to say this again imagine hearing his singing just.... sitting there like please acknowledge how talented he is and how proud of him you are

he works hard for you and loves laying in bed and watching movies when he gets home

[scuttling]

Birthday

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 2,648 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, Drinking, Pre-relationship minor Morgan/Garcia Summary: The team goes out for Sophie's 30th birthday. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 7-12 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to AO3 or read below! “Time for another shot?” Prentiss asks, dropping two handfuls of glasses onto the table in front of them, and Sophie laughs, shaking her head indulgently.

“No more shots, Em. I’m already feeling the last two.” Her cheeks are slightly flushed, corroborating her comment, but she’s still standing steadily, so she can’t be too far gone.

“Come on, it’s your birthday!” The rest of the team joins in with a chorus of similar comments, but Hotch just smiles at their happiness and lets them battle it out amongst themselves.

“You only turn 30 once, you know,” Morgan reminds her, a hand casually thrown over her shoulder, and Reid frowns.

“You only turn every age once; what’s the significance of 30?”

“All he’s saying, Reid,” Garcia chimes in, taking a sip of her pink, fruity drink, “is that every year older is a chance to celebrate. Especially in this line of work.” Sophie sighs, clearly giving in to her friends’ methods, and she walks two fingers forward, to a full shot glass.

“Fine, fine: I will drink one more shot…” she begins, pausing as is for dramatic effect, “if someone gets me cheese fries.”

“I’ll buy the birthday girl some cheese fries,” Reid offers, and she pulls him down by the arm and gives him a kiss on the cheek, which earns howls from the team and a blush from Reid, and then she takes the shot.

“I’m hungry too, Spence, I’ll come with you,” JJ adds. “Anyone want anything?” Morgan, Garcia, and Prentiss rattle off orders, and Hotch takes a sip of his beer, doesn't notice that Sophie has made her way toward him until he gets a whiff of her perfume.

“Not hungry?” she asks, leaning against the table and facing him. She looks very beautiful in a short, silky orange dress, leather jacket thrown over her shoulders, and he lets his gaze linger for a moment.

“No, I think I’m going to call it a night.” He has reports that need to be reviewed, documents that need to be signed, and though he’s enjoying watching his team on a rare night out, he can’t help but feel old and out of place—especially as she celebrates her 30th birthday, for god’s sake. He can’t even remember his 30th birthday.

“Oh Hotch, you can’t.” She sets a hand on his arm, gently, looks up into his eyes with a clear gaze. “I know I don’t like to make a big deal of my birthday, but I’ll happily play that card with you if it will get you to stay.” Her eyes are sweet, and they look wide, almost pleading—it’s a puppy dog look by anyone’s standards, and it turns out he’s helpless against it.

“Okay, I’ll stay a little longer if it means that much to you,” he agrees, teasing a little, but her reply seems serious.

“It really does.” She smiles softly, then removes her hand from his arm, almost like she forgot that she put it there. “I’ll even share my cheese fries with you.”

She makes good on the promise, thanking Reid profusely for the gift and then running a knife through them so they make for smaller bites. She lifts her fork, takes two or three bites, and sets it down, handle pointing in his direction; he’s really not that hungry, but the way she shares with him is so effortless that it feels like an offering he shouldn’t refuse.

Later, Morgan and Garcia are dancing, Prentiss is talking to a woman she knows from the office, and Reid is making conversation with someone at table over, when Sophie takes her last bite of fries.

“They’re still not together, right?” she asks, pointing her fork at Morgan and Garcia, and Hotch shakes his head.

“As far as I know, no.”

“Same here,” JJ pipes up from across the table, nursing her drink. “And you know I’d know; I know everything.” Sophie laughs, sips her beer. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a shame, I guess; two people who are so drawn together shouldn’t fight so hard to stay apart.” JJ gives Hotch a quick glance, which he can’t interpret, then looks back down at her half-eaten plate of fried pickles, picking at the crumbs.

“I don’t get it either. If the FBI doesn’t care, why do they?” Sophie sighs, looking back at the laughing, dancing couple, props her chin up with her hand.

“They don’t think they deserve it.” When he and JJ both look toward her—the sound of her voice is almost sad, unusual for a night like tonight—she straightens, downs the last of her drink. “I assume that’s why, I mean.” JJ gives him another brief look, and he doesn’t know what to say. It’s almost 2 AM when the party breaks up, much later than he intended to stay out, but he’s happy he did. Sophie isn’t drunk, he doesn’t think, but she’s much tipsier than she was hours ago, before the cheese fries—and she’s really adorable.

“I love you guys so much,” she tells them all as they put on their coats. “I love you, Spencer, for buying me cheese fries, thank you buddy.” She wraps her arms around him, almost dangling from his neck, and he laughs, squeezes her tight.

“I love you too, buddy, you’re welcome.” She moves to Garcia next, hugs her tight around the waist.

“I love you, Pen. I love my card and your smile and I love coming into your cave for candy when Morgan gets on my nerves.” They laugh and Morgan acts affronted, which only makes them laugh more.

“I love you too, birthday babe.”

“I love you Morgan,” she begins, pulling him into a one-armed embrace, “even though you annoy me sometimes, ‘cause we’re Chicago twins and we both like the Cubs and we both know the best pizza is from Tony’s on 4th Avenue.”

“You know it, girl. I love you too.”

“JJ,” Sophie calls, drawing out the last letter, and they hug each other equally tight. “I love you ‘cause you’re the coolest one of us; I don’t make the rules,” she tacks on when the rest of the group scoffs. “She’s super cool and you guys know it.”

“I love you, especially when you’re drunk,” JJ tells her with a laugh. “Should have made you eat more than half a plate of cheese fries.”

“It’s not your fault, I blame Emily Prentiss,” she says, accusatorily, turning to the woman in question and giving her a hug, which Prentiss returns with a pat. “I love you even though you kept handing me drinks all night. You’re a bad influence.”

“Then I guess I succeeded,” she says with an affectionate smile. “I love you, birthday girl. I’m glad you had a good time.” They separate, and when Sophie turns to Hotch, the last in line, her face changes. Her expression isn’t one of awkwardness or irritation, but… almost like resignation, and he can’t exactly tell what that means.

She smiles softly, quirking her lip as if asking if it’s okay to proceed, and he opens his arms, tries not to smile when she sags against him as if, of all the hugs she’s received tonight, this is the one she wanted most.

“I love you, Hotch,” she says so quietly he has to strain to hear, and he moves his hand carefully over her back.

“I love you too.” They stay like that for a good twenty seconds, and when she pulls back, she smiles sheepishly.

“Okay, you guys have stayed out long enough because of me. I’ve gotta order my Uber.” Morgan and Prentiss both insist they can drop her off, talking over each other, and he decides to spare them both, speaks in his unit chief voice for the only time that night.

“You guys focus on getting each other home; I’ll get her home.” Everyone agrees easily, Sophie included, and they are walking out to the parking lot before she speaks again—not exactly slurred, but a bit slower than normal.

“How are you still so... Hotch-y? You had as much to drink as I did.”

“I’ve probably got 75 pounds on you, so I metabolized it faster, I guess,” he answers with a chuckle, steering her to his SUV, and something about that makes her groan.

“Oh, I know... all about that.” He comes around to the passenger side to open the door for her, and for a moment she just looks up at him, slowly wets her lips. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She slips into the car, buckles up, and he closes the door with a sigh.

In a perfect world, this would be him taking her home from a date, maybe kissing her goodnight on her doorstep… But the world is as imperfect as she isn’t, and his little crush is both inappropriate and foolish, so he resigns himself to his role and vows to get her home safely, and nothing more.

They arrive outside of her apartment building after about fifteen minutes of softly murmured directions, and he puts the car into park, turns to look at her.

“Do you want me to come up with you?” he asks, and she smiles softly, tiredly.

“Yes, but no. I’ll be okay.” The look on her face is sweet, almost tender, and he keeps himself from reading too much into it. That way lies madness, he knows.

“It’s no trouble. It would make me feel better, to know you made it safely.” Her smile gets brighter, and she sits up, unbuckling her seatbelt.

“Okay, sure. Thanks. I could make you a cup of coffee for the road, if you’d like.” He nods, and they both climb out of the car, heading toward the front door of her apartment. He keeps his hands near her, ready to catch her if she wobbles, but she is steady on her feet even in the skinny heels she wears.

She unlocks the front door, then takes him up a couple of flights of stairs, stopping outside apartment number 12. Her keys turn easily in the locks, the door swinging open to display a very clean, very white apartment. “Thanks for coming up with me. You didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it,” she tells him, hanging up her jacket on the hook behind the door.

“I wanted to,” he tells her, honestly, a little distracted by her bare shoulders, the slim straps that rest on them. She looks back, and if he’s caught staring, she doesn’t mention it. She leans her butt against the wall, reaching down to unclasp the buckle on her shoe, and for the first time, her balance isn’t perfect; she wobbles a little, and his hands catch her waist to steady her.

“Do you need help getting your shoes off?” he asks, looking down into her eyes, and hers are warm, liquid as she stares back. Her tongue sweeps over her bottom lip, and if it were any other woman, he would take that as an invitation to lean in and kiss her. Instead, he drops to one knee and unbuckles her shoe, slides it off carefully, repeats that with the other foot. He sets the shoes on the shoe rack by the door, stands back up to full height, touches her arm gently.

“Thanks, Hotch.” Her voice is soft, cautious, and it looks like she wants to say more, but the silence goes on too long, and she eventually clears her throat. “Do you want that cup of coffee?”

“Sure. Please.” She pads into the kitchen, which is, like the rest of the apartment, sparkling clean and gleaming white, switches on the coffee maker, and pulls a travel mug down from the cupboard overhead. “I like your apartment. It’s very… clean.” She turns, back against the counter, and smiles.

“I don’t like to leave a mess, since we never know where we’re going to be.”

“It’s a little bare,” he says gently, trying not to profile too much, and she looks down like she’s self-conscious.

“You know I’m private. I like to keep my photos and stuff in the bedroom.” She walks past him, down the hallway, looks over her shoulder and signals for him to follow.

Her bedroom is still very white—white comforter, white sheets, white pillows—but her dresser, headboard, and end tables are made of wood, and the dresser is littered with silver picture frames.

One is of Sophie and a young man who resembles her so much, it must be her brother. One is of the two of them with a pair of adults, their parents, probably. One is of Sophie with a young man and woman who look like they could be twins, another of Sophie and the man he knows is her previous partner back in Chicago.

There’s one of her SWAT squad, Sophie in the middle with a big smile and an even bigger gun. Then there’s one of the BAU team, from a get-together Garcia hosted; he remembers her apartment looking like a craft store threw up there, every bright color and pattern you could imagine, and he remembers Sophie’s face when she saw it, called it gorgeous and fitting and very Penelope.

Would he consider this apartment very Sophie? This room, maybe, but that’s about it.

“I love these. Especially this one,” he says, holding up the photo of the SWAT team. “We need to take you to an outdoor range one day, so you can blow Morgan’s mind.” She laughs, light and airy, moves closer so she’s looking at the photo with him.

“That’s a great idea. He’s seen my special tactics, now for my special weapons.” She touches the photo of her with her brother, picks it up to show him. “This is my brother, Leo—before he became a constantly high competitive surfer in San Diego.”

“Do you see him often?” Her face falls, and she sets the photo back down with a sigh.

“I haven’t seen him in about a year. He doesn’t agree with my lifestyle, calls me a government pawn.”

“He doesn’t agree with your lifestyle?” he asks, a little surprised, considering his habits, but she just nods.

“Yeah, he’s very ‘go with the flow’, finds me morally rigid. Thinks I’m not doing work that needs to be done, as if our job is less important than surfing.” He laughs, and she laughs with him, bumps playfully against his arm. “You should feel special, you know. No one else has seen my photos.”

“No one at all?” That can’t be right, she’s had people in her bedroom, certainly…

“Nope. I don’t date often, you know. And I one-night-stand even less than I date, so. No one has had the chance.” It makes him sad, generally, that she keeps her photos so guarded, that she doesn’t share them—he’s happy, though, to know she doesn’t have men in and out of her bedroom, as if that matters when he knows nothing will ever happen between them.

“You have to give someone the chance,” he says, pulling her in for an easy, one-armed hug and pressing his lips to the top of her head. He’s not sure why he does it, but it feels so right he doesn’t really question it.

“I know,” she says quietly, wrapping her arm around his waist, too, and leaning against his shoulder. “I just want it to be the right someone.” She looks up at him, so soft and beautiful in just her slip of a dress, feet bare, that his chest aches with the urge to kiss her.

He doesn’t, of course, and never will, and the moment eventually passes, their eye contact breaks. “I should make that coffee,” she murmurs, pulling away, and tries not to feel too bad about the loss.

[fangirl-everythang]

Happy Father's Day

Summary: (1/3) Y/n hasn't told Harry that she is pregnant yet, however, when the day comes around she finds out he's cheating.

Warning: Swearing, Taylor Swift Bashing (I love Taylor don't get me wrong, it's just for the story's sake.)

Word Count: 1492

It's been 5 weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I wanted to tell Harry the moment I found out. I scheduled a doctor's appointment to confirm it because you can't really trust generic pregnancy. But when the doctor confirmed it, I had no idea how to respond.

Hiding this from him has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Harry and I have been together for almost five years now. We met at his twenty-second birthday party in New York, I was twenty. He was pretty upset that he still had to tour for his birthday, but he said it was great making a new friend. Next thing you know we went public after two and moved in together for our third year. I'm so in love with him, but our careers are taking off, a baby would just interfere with all of it however Harry has always wanted children. He'd make such a great dad too, I can only imagine what our family will look like. But these thoughts often consume me, what if he doesn't want this?

I thought Father's Day would be the best day to tell him, you know like a surprise, and what a better time unless of course, he doesn't want our child. Our parents are coming over because of course, we have gifts and brunch so it's like three for one.

I've been distant from him recently, he's so concerned about me he thinks something is terribly wrong with my morning sickness and all. I figured I'd tell him with a gift which is a wooden base with yarn woven letters made of nails that spells 'dad' with the first ultrasound underneath, there's a card too! I'm so excited to finally start a family with Harry, I just hope he feels the same way. I have mugs for each of our dads that say, 'soon to be grandfather'. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. Opening the front door, I place the keys on the table next to me and walk the bags to the living room. That's funny Harry would've greeted me by now? He's probably asleep.

Setting up for later, I bring the balloons over realizing the tablecloths are upstairs. I work my way up the steps. These are gonna be a hassle with an extra 30-40 pounds on me. The closer I get to the top, I hear a light moan.

"I love y/n, she can't know about this" Harry's voice spoke.

Tiptoeing to peak into our bedroom I see my beloved boyfriend, father of my child shirtless kissing a pant-less Taylor Swift. Wow. Just my, fucking luck. Of course, he would! I mean what was I thinking.

"Of course not, my reputation is already bad" she breathes, cupping the side of his face.

I just watch him continue to kiss her after leaning into her touch. Debating whether to go in there, I feel frozen in my steps.

"This doesn't feel right" his deep voice sighs. No shit.

"She doesn't even care about you Harry, isn't that what you told me?" She says sweetly, such a snake.

He sighs and flips them, the scene before me, causes tears to come to my eyes. Opening the door making my presence known Harry turns to me with wide eyes while Taylor scrambles to find her pants and shirt.

"Y/n it's not-"

"I don't want to hear it" I say to him. Irritation and disgust line my voice. Grabbing the table covers I go back downstairs. I have what I need. After looking at my presentation admiring the work I've done. Harry and Taylor both come downstairs. His eyes red and puffy. I swear the tears make his eyes appear more beautiful, I hope my child has his eyes at least.

Astounded by my quiet stature he sits next to me and I stiffen. I'm just quiet because it's keeping me from crying. Taylor stares blankly at the floor.

"Why the fuck are you still here? Leave." I spit at her.

Oh, how I wish I could drink.

The doorbell rings alarming Taylor. I just walk her to the door and invite our parents in "Thank you Taylor" I say sincerely seeing her nod and pull off fast in her car. Tramp.

"What's that about?" Anne ask,

" New music" she smiles and comes in with everyone trailing her steps.

"Harry what's wrong love?" she asks wiping his tears.

"Nothing just allergies mum" she pats his back and sits at the table.

"Five years, I cannot believe it, Harry it's the longest you've had!" Rob states. "And the fans love you Y/n" Anne adds lightly patting my shoulder. "Our little girls all grown up" y/m/n wipes a fake tear from her eye. Everyone laughs. Thank god Harry is next to me so I don't have to look at him. He places his hand in my lap, but I push it off, going unnoticed by the crowd around us.

"Gift time!" I exclaim as he tries again. Placing each one down in-front of them, they all look up slightly confused.

"What's this?" Y/d/n ask.

"Open them, Haz just wait a few seconds after" they all agree. Rob opening his first then y/d/n they look at me then Harry, our moms looks match Harry's as he unwraps his gift. Stunned he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Y-you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, surprise." Our parents run up to hug us.

"It's about time, I'm getting old over here!" Y/m/n shouts. Once they leave excitedly picking out baby names. I refuse to look at Harry. I make my way upstairs and begin packing some clothing.

"W-what are you doing?" Harry ask quietly.

"What does it look like Harry?" I say pushing past him going to the bathroom and grabbing some necessities. He just leans on the door frame watching me, still refusing to look at him. At first, I cared but I've made up my mind.

"How far along are we?"

"I'm almost 6 weeks but that doesn't matter" trying to walk past him he just grabs my arm and pulls me into him.

"I love you so much," he cries into my neck. I just stand there, motionless "I'm such a fuck up. Please don't leave me. I want to be here for you, for our baby. Y/n please." His hot tears continue to stream onto my shirt leaving a wet patch.

I soon give in rubbing his back gently. "Calm down Harry," I whisper into his ear as his sobs get louder "Breathe, okay."

Sitting on the closest surface near me, today has been long; I'm tired and pregnant give me a break. He stands between my legs looking down at me. I love him I do, and I want the best for our child, but this hurt. The one request I've had is he doesn't cheat, and he did. I stare at my feet avoiding him at all cost until his hand lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, but I am asking you to stay." He states softly placing a random string of hair behind my ear. He slowly starts leaning in I don't stop him. Suddenly feeling nauseous at the thought of him kissing Taylor, I shove him away from me crying.

He tries to hold me, but I just shake my head frantically, "Harry No," I cry. "How could you!? In our house Harry!" I shout. Continuing to pack my things making myself mad at the thought of his hands all over his ex.

"Y/n I'm so sorry please just stop," clothes I need clothes, just for a few days I'll buy more later. Walking into the bedroom opening my laptop ignoring his pleads. I book a hotel for two weeks, until I situate what is happening. He just sits on the bed trying to see what I'm doing but I soon erased my browser history and factory restarted the device so he can't track anything. Let's combine our accounts so our calendars sync. A swell idea. Wiping my tears, I pack outfits for each day that wouldn't show anything to the paparazzi. He sits there with his head in his hand's sharp intakes of breath audible.

As I approach him, he assumes I'm going to touch him, but I simply go into the drawer next to him. Cringing at the thought of him and Taylor who were here not over 6 hours ago, Grasping the more recent black and white photos gently until I get a photo album for them. Contemplating for a minute looking at the small framed version of my uterus I carefully tear one off handing to him before I seal my bag and walk away, taking my keys and loading my stuff in the backseat.

Looking through the rearview mirror, saying a silent goodbye to the home I hoped to raise my child. It'll get better- I hope.

A/n: Hello Loves! This is also a piece I had on wattpad. Most of these posts today will be Wattpad uploads. I'm trying to see which platform suits my work best. Bear with me while I figure Tumblr out. Masterlist coming soon!

xoxo Janelle

[jibrillenyan]

Eldarya Come-Back

[Disponibile in Italiano qui]

Eldarya EU servers are back up. For people out of the loop, a fire destroyed both the servers and the backups of Eldarya. It's not beemoov's fault.

BR and US servers, stored somewhere else, are perfectly ok.

The FR server accounts were lost, but the story retrieved.

All the others (IT HU PL DE ES RU) have both the accounts and the story wiped out. ANE has been re-translated/Recovered, but origins is currently only playable in english.

Only the first 2 episodes of ANE have been translated so far. Errata corrige: PL, RU, ES haven't released any ANE episodes yet. DE IT and HU have the first 2 available in english. DE and HU appear to be broken.

Level 7 and episode 6 of origins (completed) are needed to access the market.

BUG REPORT: Currently there is a bug where if you change the name of your companion for the first time after evolving it you lose 100gc. please take care.

BUG REPORT: If you already have a companion and you play episode 3 of Origins you won't be able to hatch the companion Kero gives you and you might get stuck right after "Objective: Go to Kero’s room to complete the Companion Questionnaire" 

Accounts must be recreated. You have to create a new account and, if you ever bought maana or gold coins, follow the instructions below.

I REPEAT, ACCOUNTS ARE LOST ON THE EU SERVERS. YOU MUST MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT. (sorry, I get this one a lot)

FAQ of sort under the cut, original here. Italian translation will be here starting tomorrow. warning: it’s long XD

♦ WHAT DO I GET?

Everyone gets 1000 maanas, 100 gold coins and 350.000 ancient coins upon creating an account. You will also get 5 big exp potions, 10 small, 5 big energy potions, 10 small, 1 evolution potion and 3 incubators. You will also get the companion Sogiluv... it's not very good. You can retrieve some (most?) of the currency you bought by contacting the support (see below), you will be credited maana/ancient coins depending on your purchases; once you get the money back the 3 spin-offs will automatically unlock, along with the bank outfits.

The first companion to hatch will require no incubation time.

BR and US Server got 10.000 AC for their troubles too, but no maana or GC or items.

♦ I ENDED UP IN THE WRONG GUARD.

Please check this page. Re-doing the 3rd episode of Origins WON'T help.

♦ DECORATING GUARDIENNE'S ROOM, EP 5-6.

If you want to know how to get the guy you like AND have the room decorated by him, or other questions along these lines check this link

♦ WHAT'S THE BEST COMPANION TO USE?

Since you can now get any companion you like if you want to get the "best" one in terms of energy/luck ratio you should consider these:

PLESE NOTE: Hatching an adult companion (Chiromagnus, Blobbiathan) has the advantage of giving you an adult companion AND saving the evolution potion. This could be nice to have, for example, during a map event, you can use all the energy of your companion after midnight, then hatch another egg, use all the energy of the baby, evolve with the potion, use all the energy of the adult. If well played , with a baby companion, it means potentially 400-500 energy to use on the map

"Best" Companion, bought food (36 maana): Blobbiathan Energy 170 (already an adult when hatched) Luck 360 - 400

"Best" Companion, bought food (30 maana or less):

1. Chiromagnus Energy 160 (already an adult when hatched) Luck 340-390

2. Zarali Energy 90-160 Luck 350-380

3. Ocemas Energy 100-150 Luck 310-360

4. Ciralak Energy 110-160 Luck 300-350

4. Rawist Energy 110-160 Luck 300-350

"Best" Companion, farmed food (in exploration):

1. Alfeli: Energy 80-150 Fortuna 320 -370

2. Gallytrot: Energy 110-150 Fortuna 320-370

I consider the Alfeli "better" because its food, elven grapes, comes from a 20energy/30 min area, Mont sizhe, compared to the food for the gallytrot, gallyflore, from the Cave (35 energy/60 min).

♦ WHAT CAN I USE ANCIENT COINS FOR?

There is a special ancient coins shop (Until May 9th) with ALL the items ever released in the game. I do not advise using them for Origins illustrations but I suggest you grab some of the rarest items at least. It's among the boutiques.

BANK ITEMS WILL ONLY APPEAR AFTER RETRIEVING THE PURCHASED CURRENCY (? Im not sure about this, some are there from the beginning and I'm still waiting on the email I sent for the currency)

♦ HOW LONG DOES THE SHOP LAST?

May 9th

♦ HOW DO I GET MY BOUGHT MAANA/GOLD COINS BACK?

Go to "your account" by clicking on your name (top right). There is a button to retrieve the credit, for many payment options there is a simple form to fill.

However, if you paid by credit card or paypal you have to send an email to the support (you can get the adress by clicking on "other"). In the mail you should include:

Credit card:

- Old/New Username (if they aren't the same) - The email address associated to the accounts - The date and the amount in €/$ of a recent transaction (max 12 months old, the most recent, the better). - Last 4 digits of the credit card you used. - I'm not sure what happens if you you used more than a credit card, I'd suggest sending one transaction per credit card and telling them about this issue.

Paypal:

- Old/New Username (if they aren't the same) - The email address associated to the accounts - If it's not the same email address, the email address/username of the paypal account. - The date and the transaction ID* of a recent transaction (max 12 months old, the most recent, the better).

* Transaction ID's can be found in the confirmation email you get when you make a payment or on the paypal website, in the payment history section.

One ID should suffice, they can retrieve them all from there.

♦ WHAT DO YOU ADVISE WE BUY?

On a general note, do not buy things that can be found at all times, like explorations items, other than that, anything you like, but I'd at least consider to buy/play the following:

*** PLEASE NOTE: I've heard rumors that during each event, you will be able to find things in explorations from the previous events of that kind, so easter should have the other easter events' outfits on the map. I'd wait a bit to spend the coins to see if we get any confirmation, the store will be open until May 9th.

HOW CAN I KNOW WHERE (SOMETHING) IS FROM?

Wiki. Or This wonderful site. Or the wikinyan (c'est moi!), I don't mind answering specific messages, I'll update this post with any question I get. If you don't know the french name you can find it out in the French shop.

1. COMPANIONS:

Other than the event companions that you like you should probably consider...

GET:

Minaloo and Draflayel. These only comes from the purro'swap. Once the store closes, if you're unlucky, you'll never see them again.

Calunko and Bunraku. They're 2 of the japan expo rewards and with the merchandise boutique closed, they're incredibly hard to obtain, you need a physical code.

Chiromagnus, while you can get this from explorations, the scroll for it is extremely rare, and 2000 AC is stealing it.

ON THE FENCE:

The Seryphon , Poulpatata (both of them) and the chestok. These can be found on AH but require Gold coins to get in exploration. Personally I won't get them, but it's personal preference.

SKIP:

All the normal explorations companions, no matter how rare. They'll start popping up at the market soon enough

2. CLOTHES:

This is clearly completely at your own discretion, Events and ranking rewards should be considered. However there are some times never released before, like the fireflies so...

GET:

Fireflies. A beta-tester reward item, they were never made available to purchase before.

Steam girl set (Total: 1594 AC). It's the japan expo 2017 reward, 9 pieces

Maana demon and its other 3 colorations is a skin never seen in the game, previously reserved for admins. It could however be added to explorations, like other items of this kind.

Frency French was once an inside joke for ChiNoMiko, has not been made available to the public before, you can buy the skin, the hairstyle (it's a special jackson), Frency French Top, etc it's just a joke, but it's still something you won't see again, if you like it.

ON THE FENCE:

Depending how much you hate alchemy, you can consider some alchemy stuff.

Some rare Skins like Nan'vi, that could be hard to find in explorations

Rainbow and Pearly hair colours, if you like them, they can be rare/offered only in rare circumstances.

Crylasm set (526 AC), top, socks, hat. It was a special Christmas outfit released one piece at a time during Christmas events of 2016, 2017, 2018

Healer support Set (400 AC), made of 7 pieces, it was a special gift given at the beginning of the 2020 pandemic)

Rainbow Spirit (1594 AC), released for the 2020 Pride month (sorta)

Guard ranking rewards, the total il 11.980 AC (thanks Desdhi ♥)

SKIP:

Anything normally on the shop, or from (normal) map explorations.

3.ILLUSTRATIONS:

GET:

Possibly the event ones you like the best, there should be 42 event illustrations for a total of 105.000 ac

SKIP:

If you have the time to farm, the episodes' ones. They're way cheaper with replay, with a few exceptions (see below).

ON THE FENCE:

There are a few episodes where it's cheaper to buy the other illustrations than replay, I'll make a list below.

♦HOW MUCH IS... 

EGGS

As "one time" I mean it's either now or never, so exclusive items or event items, unless they come back with their event.

No Explorations is events + rare +the stuff  that you would pay gc to get the bait for

All the eggs: 222.400,

One-time + rare ones: Chiromagnus, Minaloo Draflayel: 164.500

one-time: 158.000

No explorations (+GC/rare ones): 180.700

BACKGROUNDS:

All: why do you hate yourself? don't. it should be around 5660

Events only: 2460

EPISODES:

Event Illustrations are 2500 each, Episodes' 2000

It's generally cheaper to play the episode to unlock illustrations. Coins won't disappear, so if you can slowly make your way up you will end up saving A LOT of Ancient Coins. During episodes, each dialogue is 2 AC

(cost is rounded up) (!) = Replaying is not worth it, money wise (*) = more expensive than 1 illustration, but still worth it in the grand scheme of things

(how much it costs playing Origins VS how much it costs at the shop)

Episode 1 - Free - 1 Illustration, play once (FREE vs 2000) Episode 2 - Free - 3 Illustrations, play twice (FREE vs 6000) Episode 3 - Free - 1 Illustrations, play once (FREE vs 2000) Episode 4 - Free - 2 Illustrations, play once (FREE vs 4000) Episode 5 - Around 1200 maana - 3 illustrations, play 3 times (3600 vs 6000) Episode 6 - Around 1500 maana - 2 illustrations, play once (1500 vs 4000) Episode 7 - 1200maana ca - 4 Illustrations, play 4 times (4800 vs 8000) Episode 8 - 1700maaana ca - 4 Illustrations, play 3 times (5100 vs 8000) Episode 9 - 2000 maana ca - 1 Illustration, play once (2000 vs 2000) Episode 10 - 1500 maana ca - 3 Illustrations, play 3 times (4500 vs 6000) Episode 11 - 1900 maana ca - 2 illustrations, play once (1900 vs 4000) Episode 12 - 1500 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play 3 times (4500 vs 6000) Episode 13 - 1500 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play 3 times (4500 vs 6000) Episode 14 - 1500 maana ca - 2 illustrations, play once (1500 vs 4000) (!) Episode 15 - 2500 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play 3 times (7500 vs 6000, it's better to buy the other 2!) (!) Episode 16 - 2150 maana ca - 1 illustration, play once (2150 vs 2000 it's still worth to play the episode) (*) Episode 17 - 2450 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play ONCE (2450 vs 6000) Episode 18 - 1900 maana ca - 6 illustrations, play 3 times (5700 vs 12000) Episode 19 - 1700 maana ca - 4 illustrations, play 4 times (6800 vs 8000) Episode 20 - 1800 maana ca - 5 illustrations, play 4 times (7200 vs 10000) Episode 21 - 1800 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play once (1800 vs 6000) Episode 22 - 1700 maana ca - 4 illustrations, play 3 times (6800 vs 8000) (!) Episode 23 - 2100 maana ca - 4 illustrations, play 4 times (8400 vs 8000, it's better to buy the other 3!) Episode 24 - 2000 maana ca - 2 Illustrations, play once (2000 vs 4000) (!) Episode 25 - 2500 maana ca - 3 illustrations, play once (2500 vs 6000) (!) Episode 26 - 2200 maana ca - 4 Illustrations, play three times (6600 vs 8000, it's better to play once for 2 illustrations then buy the other 2!) Episode 27 - 1800 maana ca - 4 Illustrations, play 3 times (5400 vs 8000) Episode 28 - 1700 maana ca - 5 illustrations, play 3 times (5100 vs 10000) (!) Episode 29 - 3250 maana ca - 4 illustrations, play 4 times (13000 vs 8000 it's a huge ac loss to replay) (!) Episode 30 - 2400 maana ca - 4 illustrations, play 4 times. (9600 vs 8000 it's better to play once and buy the other 3)

Grand total so far: 93 Illustrations, 71 playthroughs, 58 suggested.  Extimated maana/Ancient coins: 129.000 replay eveything vs  186.000 buying everything. Optimal:  122.750

IF you play everything once then buy the rest you should spend around 146000

* Optimal means buying the illustrations where needed before May 9th, then play all the episodes at your leisure.  The episodes where you'd have to buy illustrations are: 15, 23, 26, 29, 30.

Please remember that if you buy the illustrations then you decide to play the game you will ended up paying not only 186.000 ac for the illustrations, but also roughly 60.000 to play all the episodes. The only case where my racommendation is to buy the illustrations is if you really don't care about origins or you only want a few illustrations

[svtshine]

Jeonghan as your Sugardaddy

Pairing: Jeonghan x reader

genre: Sugardaddy!au

Type: scenario

extras: As always, requests are welcomed. This was really fun to write ngl.

Jeonghan had never stayed in a relationship longer than 10 days.

he only needed a shower to get over someone

which was why he wanted a relationship where, he would just need to spoil someone, and in return get his needs taken care of.

If it’s one thing Jeonghan couldn’t get rid, was his money.

Damn this man is stacked

and he’s willing to spend it

The first time the both of you met was when you were working as a bartender.

There were tons of human beings at the club since it was the most popular hour. Sweaty beings pressing against each other, lips finding each other desperately at the side.

It was a long night as always. Your shift was going to end in 30 mins and you couldn’t wait to get out of the shorts and revealing shirt you had to wear

Your bed awaits you.

You focused on making the next drink as Jeonghan walked in.

He was going to meet your boss for an upcoming business deal.

When he first walked in though, he couldn’t take his eyes of you, alike many other men at the bar.

The way you made the drinks while looking so sexy and hot. He just wanted a taste.

Jeonghan could hardly even pay attention to the person infront of him.

“Who’s that” pointing towards you. Your boss turned his head and recognised you.

“That’s Y-y/n, as i was saying sir-“

Jeonghan didn’t look away from you at all. “I’ll raise the price. But i want only her to stay”

Jeonghan was going to invest in that bar, he didn’t need the pervious employees, only you.

Your boss closed the bar early and gathered all the employees.

“Listen, i’ve sold the bar to this man, Yoon Jeonghan sir. The rest of you have to find new jobs now.”

You felt eyes on you as you face the man named ‘Yoon Jeonghan’

“except for Y/n” Everyone looked at you in confusion. Even you raised your eyebrows.

You weren’t the BEST bartender, why the hell did they want you?

The rest of the employees left and Jeonghan motioned for you to follow him to the back.

The private room had a nice couch

“Now darling, as you’ve heard, this bar is officially mine now.” The strange yet hot man spoke.

“i need you, not as a bartender but you to be my sugarbaby” Your eyes widened. You weren’t unfamiliar with the term, but you’ve just met this guy and who knows what kind of person he actually was.

He held up a finger when you opened your mouth to retaliate. “Now, your job will be easy. Keeping me company when i go to events, and fulfilling my requests for you. While you get cash every month from me and any present you want”

He moved closer to you, gently grabbing you by the chin. “You just have to be my good girl”

You moved away from him. This hot, attractive stranger was asking you to be his sugarbaby?

you didn’t know whether to be confused or disgusted

ok both kind of

i mean you didn’t know who he even was till today.

“You should know darling, i get whatever i want and i want you.” Smirking at you

“your apartment building isn’t very expensive at all to me you know. If you didn’t agree to be my sugarbaby, you could very well end up jobless and homeless in a blink of an eye” God you so badly wanted to wipe that smirk off his angelic face

How could someone look so angel-like but be so cunning

So you agreed to the deal.

Jeonghan actually spent a lot of time with you. Given he was a ceo and he needed to attend lots of events.

During which he makes fun of snobby rich people with you and asks you questions about yourself.

He may be a little cheeky but he’s also a very kind man, you’ve come to realise.

He made you move into the same apartment building as he was in.

High rise building, with the most amazing scenery of the city.

Jeonghan surprises you with a present everyday.

It could be a bouquet of flowers with a small card, a necklace, a watch, earrings, dresses, heels.

Sometimes he’d buy items worth millions to thank you for joining an event with him that lasted two hours only.

His favourite thing to do with you, is to relax in his private jacuzzi with you after a long day at work.

Jeonghan loves the feel of your smooth skin against his and you sitting on his lap in the jacuzzi, planting soft and gentle nibbles on his neck and massaging his shoulders.

Damn was he in paradise

He slowly started to realise he was falling in love with you, when he noticed how much you reminded him of home

Returning to his apartment was never returning “home”. But he’d be in his office and thinking about, “What is my Y/n doing at home” or “What did she cook for tonight’s dinner”

That one time you went home to visit your family, he stepped home announcing. “Y/n i’m home” before realising you went to visit your family after seeing the table you left on the table for him to reheat

He felt so disappointed when you didn’t greet him as usual.

his apartment just felt so empty without you. It didn’t feel like ‘home’.

After getting to know Jeonghan, you wanted to give him something in return as well.

He made you so happy everyday. You felt so alive and happy around him. His presents made you happy, but you knew he deserved some too.

You knew you were playing a risky card. You fell in love with him way before he did.

You dugged out whatever savings you had from previously

With a total of 5k you bought him a small and cheap rolex.

Yeah of course you knew it probably meant nothing to him, but you knew getting this for him was worth it even if he decided not to wear it ever.

You were extremely nervous when you were going to present it to him. He had just returned home and you were watching him reheat the food that you cooked for him.

“I’m sorry baby, i know it’s been a while since i took you out but, work really had me cooped up” He said, brushing through his hair. His spectacles still lying on his nose bridge

You knew how hard he worked for the company so you smiled at him and made sure he knew you understood.

You excused yourself to get the watch.

“Hannie” he mumbled a ‘yeah’ as he munched on to your food. You nervously hid the watch behind you and continued.

“This may not seem like much but i wanted to do something for you” You brought out the watch and presented it to him.

“i’m sorry, it’s not even that nice. I used the savings i had from my previous jobs and got you this. You deserve more than this though han”

Jeonghan placed his chopsticks down on the table top and stared at the watch. You didn’t know if he really didn’t like it or not but the anxiety was creeping up onto you as he continued staring at the watch.

“I’m sorry hannie, it’s okay if you don’t like it-“

You reached for the watch, but jeonghan grabbed your wrist and gently brough you onto his lap.

That was when you realised, he had shed a couple of tears. Your eyebrows raised in alarm as you brush away his tears.

“Sweetheart, this has got to be the best gift anyone has given me.” he whispered to you

“It’s been so hard, but having you by my side makes everything better.” He took off his current watch and replaced it with the one you bought for him.

“Thank you, thank you so much my love. i’ve never felt more lucky to have met you” Kissing you on the nose and the face. Rubbing the sides of your leg up and down.

“I love you so much, please stay with me forever Y/n. Not as my sugarbaby but my lover as well. i really can’t imagine my life without you. As corny as it sounds” And of course you agreed, giggling at the end.

a year gone by, Jeonghan’s still wearing the watch as well as the shiny ring that adorned his left ring finger.

Similar to the one you had on your ring finger.

Masterlist

Wonwoo Sugardaddy!au | Mingyu Sugardaddy!au

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 080521

5 September, 2021

Dear Dad--

Another week full of joy at being alive has passed! That may sound sarcastic, and it mostly is, but things are actually improving. I’ve been quite depressed of late, and I appreciate your offers of help. I’m going to be quite alright, I’ve decided. A few things are getting better on their own, and a few things are getting better because I’m working at getting them better. Examples: It helps when it’s not 90 degrees outside--an increasingly frequent occurrence here in Maine--since that makes it 90 degrees inside. A window AC unit can only create a cone of tolerability directly in front of it, while the rest of the trailer feels like a sauna. Once September began, however, it was like a door slamming shut. Now we’re getting cold fronts and lows in the upper 40s in the mornings and highs in the 70s, and it’s the kind of weather that makes you happy just to be alive and outside.

Another thing getting better, if only with agonizing slowness, is my job. The main problem with my job right now is this: There are seven audits. I’ve learned about 6.8 of them, but there’s one part of one audit that I’ve mentioned in the past, it’s just an order of magnitude more complicated. After a few more months it won’t seem that way at all, but for now, it’s still Chinese algebra--I might as well be looking at Sanskrit; it just makes no sense to me most of the time. And the boss is, I think, tired of me not knowing it. The boss can, I think, go fornicate himself, because, the way I look at it, if I’m trying my best to learn, and I haven’t learned it yet, it’s not because I’m failing, it’s because the shit’s complicated, and he’s failed to teach it to me yet. Ha ha, take that, boss man!

Anyway, I’m attempting to let it go. And now that my retirement savings from Progressive is completely gone, I’m also attempting to live within my means again, which is proving a challenge. And it’s not a challenge because of my extravagant lifestyle, it’s a challenge because everyone wants money in exchange for shit, and I’m only getting $14.00 per hour so far. Also, the casino is taking $30 off each paycheck, a total of 10 times, to pay for my $300 state gaming license, which I’m required to have. Also, the casino is taking $47 out of each paycheck, a total of 4 times, because of something they fucked up with my benefits that somehow put me in arrears. I am forced to wonder if Consumer Reports ever made a top 10 list of inexpensive brands of cat foot that, in a pinch, might be fit for human consumption.

So some of my concerns are financial. Some others are related to making new friends. Zach and I have both been attempting to make new friends lately, and to our horror, the number of friends we have here in Maine is actually going down. We made one friend when we moved here, Josh, the one who is addicted to Christmas decorations, and for various reasons, we don’t hang out with him any more. I made a new friend who promptly disappeared on me. Zach made a couple of new friends that have decided not to return his texts. We are forced to wonder what unpleasant odors we might be emitting. My goal was to have a New Year’s Eve party here that I could invite 5 people to, and at this point, I’m not going to reach the number 5 unless 3 of them arrive at gunpoint. So I’m going to attempt to make some new friends. Working in a casino should help; got lots of interesting coworkers. And if we can ever get past this Covid bullshit, I might be able to attend a social gathering every now and again.

I have begun my two month scary movie marathon! I began with Night of the Demon, as I always do, and I’ve been watching a few of my other favorites too, like The Legend of Hell House, and the Haunting, and The House on Haunted Hill, and The Haunting of Hill House, and House of Usher, and House (Japan, 1979).

I think some of the news is going to have to take the form of a bullet list.

I thought “The quality of mercy is not strained,” was from the Bible. Nope, it’s from The Merchant of Venice.

The casino, for all the money they’re taking from me, is going to give me a $50 WalMart gift card, as a reward for emailing H.R. a copy of my vaccination card.

As of today, I have put away that AC unit. We needed it last week to avoid dying of heatstroke, but we’re not going to need it again until probably next June or July.

I’m about to attempt to quit smoking, because I can no longer afford it. Next few days, I should think. I’ll keep you posted. I must buy gum. I need so much sugar-free gum. Perhaps the WalMart gift card will be used for gum. That’s some bullshit; I wanted to use it for something fun, and nourishing to the soul, like...Diet Pepsi. But noooo.

I continue to love the mild weather here, and the frigid winter in particular. At some point, I’m going to experience the ecstasy of having to wake up early in order to dig my car out of the snow, so I can get to work on time. I assume, every once in a while, there’s a snowstorm that’s bad enough, no one is able to get to work for hours and hours. I am looking forward to all of this! I think it draws one closer to one’s neighbors when you live under such shared duress, and the shoveling is good exercise. Also, we only have a few feet of driveway to shovel; it’s going to have to be a pretty apocalyptic snowstorm to push us into heart attack territory. Then, when I make it to work on time, I can be the one person whom everyone else resents, because he proved that it’s possible to make it to work, and now everyone has to show up and do their jobs, when their true desire was to stay home and not do their jobs for a change. Well, tough titty, coworkers. Ricky’s gotta get PAID.

One thing I’m trying to keep my eyes on is the prospect of getting a new car. It may not be new, and it may not be a car--I’m considering a modest SUV--but it would be a new vehicle for me. The reason I’m considering purchasing a modest SUV, which normally I’d find abhorrent because of their poor fuel economy, is because I now live in the land of potholes. In Austin, if a pothole got bad, I knew it wouldn’t be long before a crew came out and fixed it. Here, with all the freezing and thawing, some roads just develop too many of them too quickly, so those roads just spend a lot of time sucking, and being full of potholes. My car, Beige Lightning, had a somewhat creaky suspension before we moved here, and now has a very creaky suspension. I’ve decided, therefore, that I’d like something a bit more impervious to potholes. Also, as a rapidly aging white guy, I claim my right to want something with a bigger, faster engine. Perhaps the money I save from quitting smoking will make this easier to grasp. Will advise!

More next week. All my love to you both!

[writerofshit]

Secret Santa:X

(This is half headcanon, half fic, all fun times and emotions)

(Shoutout to the Penthouse discord server for help on some of the gifts, would have been lost without you)

The last Christmas they have in the penthouse, Ryan brings up Secret Santa again. It’s partly a joke, partly a nod to the nostalgia that’s been eating at all of them the last few months. He brings it up when they’re all gathered in the living room, watching Gavin try and prove his stealth abilities in Hitman.

(“Just because you can be stealthy in a video game doesn’t mean I’m letting you come with me.” Jack had said at the beginning of it all.

“If I get silent assassin you have to take me!”

“This is your fourth run through!”)

Anyhow, Ryan brings it up, all nonchalant. “Remember that year we did Secret Santa?”

“No?” Jeremy says honestly.

“Before your time.” Michael says with a smile, patting him on the head.

“It was fun. We should do it again.”

(”Goddamnit!” On screen, Gavin dies again.)

The next day they have a meeting of all the ‘movers and shakers’, as Geoff has taken to calling them. He announces that Secret Santa is yet again a thing, and no, Matt, you can’t get out of it. There’s no budget, because they all have access to more money than they know what to do with.

They throw eleven names in a hat and go from there. Geoff calls first pick because he’s an asshole like that, and his choice picks next, so on and so forth.

 “Just get your shit done by Christmas, and we’ll do it then.”

--

Geoff pulls Gavin, and only panics a little.

The kid has everything he could ever want, what’s he really supposed to do? He considers what he might need, ends up crossing ‘bulletproof vest and a helmet’ off the list because it feels a little impersonal. He could do liquor of some sort, but he suspects there will be enough of that floating around on Christmas day.

He considers a camera, knows Gavin is into that kind of shit, but he’s lost a lot of knowledge in that department over the years. The only person who knows enough is Gavin himself, and that kind of defeats the point.

He ends up going for a new pair of gold shades, because the old ones are pretty worn out after six-plus years, and he’s almost positive Gavin has lost them. (Probably in Ryan’s room, but that’s neither here nor there) He gets a pair that have diamonds along the arms, and even though they’re ridiculously expensive he thinks it’s worth it.

Gavin adores them, has them on within 30 seconds of unwrapping them. He pokes himself in the eye, and that feels like a bonus to Geoff.

--

Gavin pulls Trevor, and while he plays it off at first “Oh, this will be easy, I got this person for sure!” he absolutely has no idea what to do.

 There’s a weird bit of time where he tries to get to know Trevor better. He learns absolutely nothing new, despite following the guy for almost a week.

There’s a night he lays in bed with Ryan, bitching about this whole thing. “What the hell do I do? This was terrible for me last time, why would you suggest this?”

He ends up calling Barbara from the Roosters to try and figure out something, who promptly makes fun of him for not knowing anything about the guy he’s worked with for years. She does give one bit of new information, so he goes with it.

He gives Trevor tickets to the next Motocross event, because it’s apparently something he’s into. He throws in a NASA t-shirt as a joke, a nod to the world Trevor left behind.

Both items go over well, Trevor immediately pulling the shirt on over what he’s already wearing. He won’t shut up about Motocross for the rest of the day, either.

--

Trevor pulls Ryan, which he’s immediately terrified of.

 He knows Ryan well enough to know that there won’t be any serious repercussions if he fucks it up, he won’t get gutted over a poor gift choice. But he also knows he’ll get that weird stare Ryan does when he’s pretending to consider whether or not to hurt someone. Plus he won’t live it down from the rest of the crew.

At first he goes to Gavin for help, because apparently nobody is taking the ‘secret’ part seriously. Gavin absolutely refuses to help him, mostly for the laughs. He knows Gavin’s getting a kick out of watching him squirm over this, which is so unfair. Then he asks Jack for help, who just shrugs. 

“You’re a smart guy, Trevor, you’ll figure something out.”

He does, sort of. He gives Ryan a 24 pack of diet coke (because what else?) and an actually beautiful rainbow knife. It seems pretty heavy duty, and he knows its right up his alley. He also throws in some earplugs as a joke.

 “So you can tune out Gav’s idiocy whenever you need.”

“Come on, Trevor. I’ve had years of practice at that. The knife is gorgeous though.”

--

Ryan pulls Alfredo, and he’s not too worried about it.

Alfredo’s their go-to sniper these days, and a new sniper rifle seems pretty obvious. Maybe a gift card to Ammunation or something? It does feel a little lackluster, even to him, so he brings it up to Gavin one night, while Gav is still debating t-shirts from Amazon.

“That’s a bit boring, isn’t it?”

“You’re buying a NASA shirt for an ex-aerospace engineer. I’m gonna need you to rethink your stance on this one.”

“Nah. You gotta do something better for Fredo, he deserves it.”

Which. alright, then what the fuck is he supposed to do? He gets his answer the next week when he sees Alfredo on a motorcycle for the first time.

“I’m going to teach you how to actually ride that thing.” Which is good, a chance to catch up and hang out. Bad, because Ryan’s method of teaching is ‘learn by doing’ and does in fact result in shouting.

Ryan still gives him the sniper rifle, which he is far more excited about.

--

Alfredo pulls Fiona, and it’s the first time he marginally regrets joining the crew.

He’s got no fucking idea what she’d like, what gift she’d appreciate and not hit him over. He tries to be casual about asking around, hoping someone might have better insight. The rest of the crew catches on immediately, and they flood him with false information.

“She loves chocolate. Favorite Halloween candy, in fact!” Michael tells him, but the grin he has says otherwise.

“She mentioned something about wanting to learn a new language.” Jack says seriously.

“Get her an English to French dictionary, she’ll love it.” Gavin tacks on.

“French, yep. She definitely wants to learn that one.”

Lindsay is the only one who actually helps him. “She’s been known to enjoy a drink or two.”

By sheer luck he happens to walk into one of the thousand arguments Fiona has with Michael over the whole ‘Halloween candy’ debacle, and he knows immediately that's a bad route to go down.

He ends up making a gift basket full of liquor mini’s and various candies. He makes sure not to include any chocolates, and throws some extra blowpops in, just to be safe.

Thankfully, she does appreciate the thought he put in, and she says she’ll only share with Alfredo since everyone else is an asshole.

--

Fiona pulls Lindsay, and it’s not hard to figure out what she’ll like.

 She considers something chaotic, the two of them wreaking havoc on the city together. It makes sense. She also thinks about organizing a ‘girls day’, getting all the ladies of the crew together to go out and fuck some shit up. There’s a lot of logistics involved in that one, including convincing some of them to be out in the field like that.

It crosses her mind to bring Lindsay to a shelter to play with cats, because if there’s one thing Lindsay likes more than chaos, it’s cats. That’s also a bit of a logistical nightmare, not to mention the strength it would take to pry her away.

In the end she goes with cat merch. It’s a basket full of goodies, including a mug with a cat holding a bi-pride flag, a dress with various cartoon cats on it, and a cat necklace that has her birthstone as the body.

It’s beautiful, and Lindsay just about cries. She too, immediately changes into her new clothing, and she drinks everything out of the mug for at least a month.

--

Lindsay pulls Matt, and at first she panics.

She knows him fairly well, but like... He’s a real weirdo, what’s she supposed to do with that? She wonders what games he could use, if there’s anything he hasn’t bought himself.

Her confusion lasts until she mentions it to Michael. (Only after he let it slip who he’d picked.)

“Are you fucking kidding me? Matt’s the easiest goddamn one!”

“Bullshit! Name one thing you know about M.att B.ragg!”

“He eats like shit! Give him a box of donuts and he’ll lose his fuckin mind.”

Her response of  “Oh my god.” is barely heard.

She spends a week trying out different recipes, much to Ryan’s delight. He’s happy to play taste-tester while she finds the perfect flavor combination.

She winds up going with a double chocolate espresso concoction. Matt is, of course, super stoked about his cupcakes, and damn near has to fight Ryan off to protect them.

--

Matt pulls Jeremy, which is pretty much a slam dunk.

Whiskey is the obvious choice, one he’ll absolutely go with, thank you very much. Who said taking the easy way out never got you anywhere?

And it would have, if it weren’t for Geoff.

There’s a debate that happens about a week before Christmas, something about the necessity of going to the liquor store. Michael and Jeremy are firmly pro-trip, and Geoff just wants them to “stay home and do some goddamn work. Besides, it’s not like half of you guys aren’t buying each other liquor anyway. In a week I’m sure we’ll be fully stocked.”

Which, alright. Fuck Matt then, huh? He’d genuinely thought it was a good idea, a mix of thoughtful and practical.

He decides to pair the whiskey with- well, it’s kind of a joke gift, but at least he won’t be accused of only buying liquor.

He commissions a customized cowboy hat. Half purple half orange, split right down the middle. There’s a neon yellow buckle on it, and it’s the ugliest thing Matt has ever seen in his life.

Jeremy loves it though, thinks it’s goddamn perfect. He wears it for the rest of the day, and for the next heist.

(Michael is less enthused.)

--

Jeremy pulls Michael, and that-

That’s harder than it should be.

He and Michael have been doing this... Whatever the fuck it is for over six months now, and they haven’t goddamn talked about. Not really. They’ve had moments,sure, here and there when they’re both drunk and thinking far too much about it. Reminding each other that they’re happy, that this is a good time, wouldn’t change it for the world-

But there’s still nights they sleep alone and they don’t talk about why. They still don’t really mention it to anyone else, even if they all know. Jeremy still doesn’t know how to answer when someone asks what the deal is with him and Michael.

So it’s hard, right, to come up with a relationship- appropriate gift. Too jokey and he’ll feel bad. Too serious isn’t their style at all. Plus like… how’s he supposed to do that in front of everybody? Just because they know there’s something there doesn’t mean they need to put on a show.

He settles on the obvious, nice bottle of tequila and a couple of shot glasses. It’s not exactly personal, but it’s good enough to show the room.

Later, in a quiet moment they can steal away, Jeremy offers to take him out the next night.

“We’ll do the bar thing, just you and me. My treat.”

“Oh yeah? You’re buying my drinks all night?” Michael asks him with a sly grin.

“I uh- I’ll get your drinks for as long as you’ll have me.” and it doesn’t come out exactly right, but they both know what he means by it.

Earns him a smile and a sweet kiss, and that alone is worth it.

--

Michael pulls Jack, and he runs through a few options.

He considers buying her furniture, because he knows she'll need it when they all finally do move out. But Jack has a good head on her shoulders and probably already has that shit on lock.

He looks into custom shelving, for all the knick knacks she's collected over the years. He could get it designed in colors she'd like and shell out extra for lighting and all that shit. But she doesn't have a new place yet, as far as he knows, so that's kind of a bust.

He could give her what amounts to a gift certificate, an offer to pay for whatever she wants made, but that seems kind of… Empty?

There's the age old alcohol gift, but that's been done before, and is probably being done by almost everyone else.

He mentions to Lindsay how weirdly difficult it is to buy something for Jack, get’s zero advice but somehow helps her figure out the whole Matt mystery.

In the end he decides to help her out and piss her off, a little bit of a win-win kinda thing. He buys her a couple of new shirts, bold and flowery and almost as bad as Jeremy’s Rimmy Tim shtick. He hates them but he knows she loves them, so it’s worth it.

He tells her it’s because her old shirts gotta be falling out of fashion, an opinion she is not happy about.

But it’s fine, because he also gets her tickets to fucking Disney World, of all places. He even offers to go with her, which she absolutely takes him up on.

It’s more fun than he expects, and it’s a really good chance to actually spend some time with her. He hadn’t realized it had been so long.

--

Jack pulls Geoff, which.

It’s no secret that Geoff is a sentimental bastard when it comes to the crew. It’s exactly why he’d spent months talking to her about the possibility of selling the penthouse, trying to figure out exactly how everyone would react, trying to figure out how he would react to not having them all so close anymore. She spent countless nights listening to him wonder what it meant that he wanted his own space.

Objectively, he was probably a bad person but his love and fierce loyalty to the crew made up for that, in some ways, right? So how can he kick them out, how can he do this to them, he’s being selfish-

And she had just explained to him that he had to do what was right for him. That it was understandable. That he was right, they could all use the opportunity to be a little more independent. She was looking forward to having her own space, and in time the rest of them would too.

So when she pulls Geoff’s name, she knows she’s gotta lean into that a bit. She could get him some books, some puzzles maybe. He’d mentioned off-hand that he missed having the space for them, because the kitchen table was always covered in some sort of crew shenanigans.

She does get him those, because she knows they’ll get some use.

But the big thing is the collage.

She’s had pictures of the crew on her phone for years, dating all the way back to her and Geoff in a shitty apartment. She’s got some of Ray, curled up on the couch with a DS in his hand. Gavin and Michael wrestling one drunken night. Ryan, nodded off on the couch after a heist, face paint still on and a complete mess. Jeremy trying to teach Matt something resembling self-defense. Lindsay cuddling a stray cat she had taken in. Trevor and Alfredo in matching clothes, playing up the ‘twin’ joke that had been going around. Fiona in that bright yellow suit, modeling for her Instagram.

There’s one she gets at the last minute, gets somebody from the support team to take right before their latest heist. It’s all eleven of them, full heist get-up, masks and obnoxious fashion choices and guns tucked here and there. They’re in the boardroom, running through it one more time before they take off, and in retrospect, it’s probably the last time they’ll do that in that room.

She sets that one in the middle, surrounded by all of these moments from the last 12 years.

“For your new place, when you find it.” Jack says.

It’s beautiful, and it makes Geoff cry. It brings some sniffles from a lot of them, even if they all deny it.

Leaving the penthouse isn’t the easiest thing for any of them, but it’s the right move. After all, they’re still a family.

[souprights]

DIY for Transmasc Minors/Those still living with unsupportive family

For context, I'm just turned 17, still living with my parents and live in the USA. This is just my experience! It may not be the best/easiest way to go about DIYing. I'm going to do my best to make this as comprehensive as possible, and please let me know if anything if incorrect or if I should add anything.

Firstly, if you're under the age of 16, I don't recommend this at all!! DIY should be a last-ditch effort, after you've tried all else. Please seek therapy, a supportive friend group, and a good community before turning to illegal means, because, yes, purchasing and being in possession of T without a script is illegal.

What's it Gonna Cost?

For cost, you're going to need about $60 - $115 of reliable income a month. Depending on the site you use, and how many millilitres of (injectable) T you purchase, that's going to vary, but $60 is the typical minimum I can find. Don't forget shipping is going to be around $15-30.

This only includes the T!! Don't forget you're going to need needles, bandaids, and alcohol swabs if you're injecting, as well as blood tests.

What Kind of T?

Whether you use gel or injections is entirely up to you and your comfort. However, please avoid orals! Those are just gonna wreck your liver, no matter how painlessly tempting they may be.

Gels run more expensive, but with injectable, there's extra purchases/packages to be had.

Hang On, Blood Tests?

To make sure your levels are in a safe/normal range, you're going to need a blood test. If possible, look for Quest or LabCorp-esque places to get proper bloods done. I was too nervous to do that, given how closely my parents track my every move while I'm not at home, so settle for finger prick at-home tests if necessary. Unless the site advertises Discreet Packaging, I highly recommend having these sent to a friend and picking them up at school/when hanging out.

Do one before starting T, one at Month One, Two and Three, respectively. Based on your levels, adjust or figure out your dose. If everything is typical at Month Three, you don't have to test again till Month Six. After that, check at your One Year mark, then yearly thereafter.

Where/How Do I Get All This?

eroids.com is the first place I turn to when looking for places to order T. You can read reviews for each site listed, and get an average rating from people who've used the sites. If you want to go for gels, I suggest poking around Reddit and finding other people who've DIYed with gel, and asking them for their opinions and recommendations. Make an informed decision no matter what you choose, and spend PLENTY of time researching.

For needles, bandaids, and alcohol swabs I honestly just use Amazon. MAKE SURE you mark your order as a gift, or else you're probably going to run into the issue of the packaging being marked with "medical supplies." Imagine your overbearing parents seeing that and ripping open your package, and immediately assuming you're spending your days in back alleys shooting up. Not fun. Take my word, and learn from my mistake.

As for bloods, just poke around till you find a test that takes your free T and total T both, or go somewhere and have it done proper.

Now, you might try using a PO box to not worry about your family seeing any packages arriving, or having it sent to a friend with more relaxed/accepting parents. Later in the year (when I'm doing this) using the approaching gift-giving holidays to keep people out of your parcels might be plausible. Or maybe your family doesn't care. Ultimately, imagine the worst case scenario and judge what to do knowing your own situation.

Okay, But....Bitcoin

Ah, yes. Daunting, tricky Bitcoin. Majority of sites only accept Bitcoin as payment. But I swear it's not as bad or hard as it sounds. Your first issue is honestly going to be finding somewhere that doesn't require you to be 18+ to purchase it. Now, don't worry too much. For me, I got my older sister to put in all her details, and I just used my money to make purchases. You can do the same with an 18+ friend, relative, or relative of a friend's. Or, send an 18+ friend's CashApp the money necessary to make a Bitcoin purchase and transfer for you.

Now, my first order of T was only about $60, with shipping and everything, since I only bought 4ml total to begin with. If you buy a bigger vial, it's going to cost more. $60 was as much as I could spend without making my parents suspicious (they keep an eye on my bank account), so if you have a similar problem or a smaller spending threshold of concern, don't worry. Just spend your max threshold on buying Bitcoin as often as you can. The Bitcoin will be stored for you to compile and use later. Keep in mind its value may go down, so buy a bit extra if you're saving up over time.

I use an app called Edge to handle all my Bitcoin transactions. It's simple, easy, and you can use a card, a direct bank transfer, Apple Pay or Cash (if there's a Bitcoin ATM near you--no worries, there's a handy map in the app itself to lead you to the nearest one of those). I used Apple Pay, so unfortunately, I can't help with any other methods than that. You can also use CashApp, but Edge's verification went much much faster, and I was not in the mood to wait a few extra days.

There's going to be a fee, usually outlined before you select your payment type. I included that in the cost of the T above, which might be more or less.

And lastly, it's not instant. It usually takes a few hours, but if it's more than a few days, reach out to customer support.

Each site lists instructions with how to send payment once ordered. Just follow their instructions, and talk to them if you have any trouble. They're usually more than happy to help you send them money.

So I've ordered my T

Shipping times are going to vary!! Keep this in mind. If you used eroids, users typically include shipping time in their reviews. This may influence which site you pick. Domestic sites tend to have faster shipping and don't risk customs seizing your pack--if customs seizes a pack with an illegal substance, you're going to get a letter. That's pretty hard to find an excuse out of, way closer to impossible.

Typical processing times are 2-5 days, but may vary a little, depending on things that may include a lovely little pandemic. Shipping is typically 1-2 weeks for domestic sites, 3-5 weeks for international. Shipping prices tend not to vary much, however, no matter where the warehouse is.

Hiding Changes

This is going to be the tricky part. I've known some people to only go on T for three months or so, as to get some changes to reduce dysphoria, but not have family members notice. If you spend a lot of time around family, the changes are gradual and they might not notice. But keep your own safety in mind above all else. What's the worst that's going to happen if your family confronts you over your changes? How long will you be able to write off your voice as "a cold" before someone wises up? How much longer are you going to be staying with your family?

I'm out to my unsupportive family, so despite being discouraged from any transition of any sort, any and all voice changes I'm writing off as voice training. Facial hair? Minoxidil. More muscle? I've been working out. These may or may not be things you can use, so consider carefully.

Aside from your voice and facial hair, there won't be anything too difficult to hide or write off. Shave your facial hair away as soon as you get up if it develops/needs to be hidden. Consider and compile a list of excuses as to why your voice is changing in case of questions.

Hiding Supplies

This is going to depend a lot on your house and situation. Do you have animals, parents or siblings who invade your spaces and find your hidey holes? A piece of advice I read in an MtF guide to DIY is to hide something you won't get in trouble for where you plan on hiding your hormones, and see if anyone finds it over a few weeks. Repeat until somewhere safe is scouted.

I have small cardboard boxes I keep under my bed, in a cabinet I have in my room, and on my desk. Only bandaids are kept on the box on my desk. But the other places I hide things have an equal distribution of my supplies, so even if someone finds one box, I'll be able to continue HRT.

Try to keep your T much better hidden than other supplies. I'm in an arts-focused degree in college, and a very artistic person, so I've managed to write off needles and syringes as pieces to build a 3D art project for a portfolio. Try to find an excuse to use if your needles are found. Maybe the art thing works for you, maybe not.

Consider taking precautionary measures of removing/covering labels of your T if you're using an injectable kind. You might be able to get away with calling it a prop of some kind, for a TikTok video or something if it's found.

Disposing of Needles/Wrappers/Etc

Alright, so you've done your first shot of T, or applied your first gel packet. Congrats! Now, how to hide the evidence? Firstly, for gels, it won't be too difficult. Just use a plastic grocery bag and fill it with other miscellaneous rubbish and mix the wrappers in with that. Toss the tied bag in your own bin, or a neighbour's bin if that's safer. If that's not possible, do so at school.

Needles are a more tricky circumstance. If you're able to purchase and safely dispose a sharps bin, 100% do that. If you're in a place like me and that's not possible, go and buy some soda with twist-top lids, or get them from friends. Once the bottle is empty, you can toss needles into there. In my experience, 1ml syringes and the small needles used for T injections fit in these 500ml bottles no issue. I throw these sealed bottles in the bin once they're full. I know this isn't proper disposable, but I'm unable to get a sharps bin.

Never throw exposed needles into the bin, or leave them somewhere anyone or anything could possibly be exposed to them.

For T bottles, I've only ever found one site that sells it in containers smaller than 10ml. I'm not sure if the 10ml bottles would fit into the soda bottles or not, so follow the same procedure as disposing of gel wrappers. If that's not possible, use a sharp knife to cut open your soda bottle at the widest part and put the bottle in there, before using a strong adhesive tape (not scotch tape--duct tape or something similar) to seal the incision before disposing of it.

In Conclusion

I've left out a list of the changes T causes, and starting doses, because those are all easy things to find, which you probably know already. Regardless of what this small guide says, please keep your own safety in mind and do as much research as possible before moving forward with DIY, and know that I'm no kind of professional, and all this is based off my tiny bit of experience.

As of the original posting of this, I haven't yet started T. I'm going to start in about two weeks, however, and have gathered everything necessary. I may update this guide further as I take T.

[jcamilov06]

50 questions game!

I was tagged by @itsjuliak5​, thank you so much :D

1) What is the color of your hairbrush? Black.

2) Name a food you never eat? Anything with celery, it’s the only vegetable I could never eat.

3) Are you typically too warm or too cold? You mean like body temperature-wise? then warm, I guess.

4) What were you doing 45 mins ago? hmm watching some nba highlights.

5) What’s your favorite candy bar? I like all of them, but let’s say Twix, sure!

6) Have you ever been to a professional sports game? no, I was planning on going to my first Deportivo Cali game, along with a friend, but then 2020 happened :/

7) What was the last thing you said out loud? “VAMOS PHILLY!! ESE ES MI QUATERBACK!!” (I was watching the eagles game, and Carson Wentz went rushing and diving for the tying touchdown)

8) What is your favorite ice cream? Macadamia, brownie, or here that is called “tropical lemon”

9) What was the last thing you had to drink? (andean) blackberry juice.

10) Do you like your wallet? It’s alright, I used to have one my mom gave me as gift, but it got stolen :/

11) What was the last thing you ate? I’m eating potato and plantain chips as I’m writing this loool

12) Did you buy any new clothing last weekend? no

13) What’s the last sporting event you watched? Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints, sunday night footballn’t

14) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? with lots of salt, although I also like them mixed with some caramel popcorn

15) Who was the last person you sent a text to? a friend from Uni

16) Ever go camping? Yes, when I was little, with my dad and my sister.

17) Do you take your vitamins? I don’t take vitamins, but after being this long without going outside, I think I should start taking some.

18) Do you regularly attend a place of worship? no

19) Do you have a tan? no, I don’t like it, I could end up looking like a carrot or something 😅

20) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Pizza!!!

21) Do you drink soda through straws? no

22) What color socks do you usually wear? either black or white, or a mix of both colors (not like different socks though, you know what I mean)

23) Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I don’t drive .___.

24) What terrifies you? The realization of me being stuck on my plans, and starting to lose my closest ones.

25) Look to you left, what do you see? my bed, plus a mess of things on it I should probably organize before it’s too late.

26) What chore do you hate the most? cleaning the bathroom(?) idk, it takes sooooo long 😩

27) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent? “ohh cool 👀”

28) What’s your favorite soda? Ginger Ale, with Sprite as 2nd best.

29) Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? hmm I guess I either go inside, or order on the phone.

30) What’s your favorite number? 15, 27 and 86

31) Who’s the last person you talked to? my mom, encoutered each other in the kitchen, looking for food 😅

32) Favorite cut of beef? I guess sirloin of ribs, why is this even here?

33) Last song you listened to? “She’s Hearing Voices” by Bloc Party

34) Last book you read? Chapinero by Andrés Ospina

35) Favorite day of the week? Friday

36) Can you say the alphabet backwards? sure :D

37) How do you like your coffee? Hot and black americano, with no sugar at all :D sooo good!

38) Favorite pair of shoes? my black and grey adidas

39) Time you normally get up? 7:30 - 8:00 a.m. (I don’t know why or how 😅)

40) Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunsets

41) Describe your kitchen plates? white and round  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

42) How many blankets on your bed? only one, two if it is a “cold” night.

43) Describe your kitchen at the moment? pretty normal, needs to be organized in the back because my mom was cleaning up.

44) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? Beer (lager or stout), and rum.

45) Do you play cards? I used to play poker, solitaire but not as much recently

46) What color is your car? there’s no car .___. 

47) Can you change a tire? sure, it could take me a while though.

48) Favorite state? I’m not from the U.S. but if I’d have to choose one, I’d say either Oregon or Ohio.

49) Favorite job you’ve had? It got tiresome at the end but the one as electrical maintenance in a medical products company.

50) Tagging: @buddyhollyscurls, @turnsthepages, @habemus-sea, @vodeaare, @flaneuriste, @pepgabbyiola, @hopelesscrawl and @kalykemoon (only if you want to, of course! after all, it quite a loooong tag)

[artificialqueens]

You'll Never See It Coming, 1/? (Jaida/Nicky/Jackie) - Viktor

Summary: Jaida and Jackie are two private detectives, with the objective of taking down a mysterious thief that has been bugging them for a year now.

A/N: As someone who writes Jaida a lot on his blog, it was about time I dropped one of my Jaida works in here! I really hope you like this, I got really attached to this AU haha! You can find me in my blog @theviktorr if you want to see more! Enjoy <3

The sun rays were starting to sneak inside of Jaida’s room, filling the open spaces of the semi-closed blinds.

Jaida hated sleeping with light. It was almost tempting to get up, close the blinds properly, and tuck herself back in her bed. However, she had work to do. And the annoying beeping of her alarm clock made sure to keep her awake, as the brightness from her phone blinded her for a few seconds when reaching to turn the shit off.

She stepped off her bed, running one of her hands across her messy hair and rubbing her eyes with the other. It was just 7:30, and she had a lot of work to do. She put on her slippers and got herself comfortable with her favorite robe, sighing at the sudden warmth she got from them. She finally opened the blinds, letting the sunlight illuminate her bedroom. It wasn’t a big bedroom, but it was big enough to be comfortable in it. She looked outside the window for a spare second, smiling at the potted flowers on the window sill. They were perfectly cared for, Jaida swore she could almost smell their perfume. Her roommate was really talented, huh?

Jaida finally got out of her bedroom, her senses overwhelming with the smell of dust and old books, which she found not-so-oddly anymore, after all the years spent surrounded by it. After all, being around secondhand bought books, piles of yellow toned documents and tables stained with melted wax made her feel all sorts of happy; she felt more at home than she ever did with her blood family. She quickly noticed that the signature scent of her housemate’s coffee wasn’t there. And knowing that trails of her partner’s coffee were always left, even after drinking it hours ago, she figured her friend was still asleep, and Jaida couldn’t blame her for it.

It wasn’t even necessary to go to her bedroom to confirm it. She only had to look around to find her partner sleeping in the living room, accommodated with her head resting on top of her arms, which were laying on top of their old wooden table, and her favorite golden glasses were thrown across the table. She was calm, her breathing seemed slow and steady. When did she even go to sleep…? She did tell Jaida that she wanted to stay up a little longer, that she thought she was finding some useful information within these books she borrowed from their local library. She probably got caught up on her reading again and fell asleep after some hours. Jaida smiled, tucking a strand of her friend’s brown hair behind her ear. She took off her robe, gently setting it on top of the older woman’s shoulders, and silently left the living room, heading to their small kitchen instead.

Now, Jaida’s coffee wasn’t as sweet and tasteful as her partner’s, she didn’t know the secret behind the flavour she enjoyed so much during their typical breakfast, but she tried her best to make it appealing for her. She took the time to make pancakes and toast some bread, choosing her friend’s favorite marmalades. She cleaned up the table, if we could consider “cleaning up” moving and piling papers to a corner of the table, and served the improvised breakfast while the woman still slept peacefully. And when the last mug was finally left on top of the wooden surface, she sat down by her side, softly squeezing her shoulder to wake her up.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” She smiled at her, only getting a groan from her partner, who raised her head slightly, and then buried it between her arms again “Jackie, you have to wake up… I made you breakfast, come on.”

Jaida rubbed her hand on Jackie’s back, with the woman slowly waking up and stretching a little on her seat. She turned around after finally opening her eyes and getting comfortable, gifting Jaida one of her adorable smiles.

“Morning…” She yawned. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did. Now eat, we have a long day coming.”

Even if Jaida could sound cutthroat sometimes, Jackie knew it came from a place of love. She took a sip from her coffee, getting adjusted to the heat, and after asking Jaida to hand her the glasses she left on the other side of the table, she eyed yesterday’s newspaper, giving another look at the words she highlighted in neon yellow last night. It was crystal clear that Jackie hardly got any sleep, she had dark bags underneath her eyes and she couldn’t stop yawning, even if the coffee was keeping her slightly more awake.

Jackie meant the world to Jaida. Both of them were private detectives, and undoubtedly had chemistry. They worked amazingly together, and have managed to solve so many mysteries with their shared thoughts and intellect. They made a good name out of themselves with their efficiency and hospitality towards both newer guests that were just starting to work with them, or old acquaintances that trusted their methods so much they always came back to them. They moved together only months after they started working as a pair, buying an old small house that smelled like dust and looked like history. They remodeled it, of course, with Jackie adding all sorts of flowers and plants to make it look alive. Jaida even remembered that her favorite flowers were marigolds and sunflowers; and even if Jackie was sad she couldn’t plant any sunflowers, she bought fake ones and made sure everything was decorated. She even handpainted pots in their free time; she wanted the house to have her creative touch to it. And she did it, because Jaida had never been happier.

However, their happy days ended exactly one year ago, when they were approached with the mission of capturing a mysterious person that called themselves ‘la voleuse fantôme’, a thief that was after the richest people she could find. And they still couldn’t find her. They even admired her talent to escape them, two of the most renowned detectives in America. But they couldn’t give up yet. They had to capture her and get her in jail for her crimes, this had already gone too far. Whoever she was, they would need to step up their game if they didn’t want to be discovered, because Jaida and Jackie were sure they had her in the bag this time around.

“Have you checked the mail, Jaida?” Jackie inquired.

Jaida didn’t answer. Well, she did, by standing up and going to their porch to check if there was anything new. And within cards signed by Jackie’s best friend, Sasha, or postcards from Heidi, Jaida’s little sister, she noticed that there was something that stood up between all their usual mail. It wasn’t odd to them, the red envelope was already a normal thing for them to see. It was the thief, she knew it. They looked so extra, sending bright red envelopes to their house and, as far as they’ve seen them, dressing like a caricature, with a big white hat, a checkered cape and the most expensive masks Jaida and Jackie had ever seen.

The younger detective went back to the dining table, sliding the colorful letter across the wood and letting Jackie have the honors of opening it this time. She carefully did it, unfolding the paper inside it and reading the thief’s disgustingly perfect handwriting. Jackie cleared her throat and started to read the content, feeling how shaky her hands were as she got towards the end of it.

“Good morning, detectives.

You two are so much fun! It’s already our one year anniversary of you guys chasing after me and failing miserably. And to celebrate, I prepared my best show just for you!

I’ll show up at Gigi Goode’s masquerade ball next Sunday. What will I steal, you may ask? Well, that’s simple…

I’ll be taking grandma Goode’s crown that has been passed on for the last generations.

I wonder how it’ll look on my head when I wear it.

See you guys next Sunday!

With love,

   La voleuse fantôme.”

Oh, so it was at Gigi’s place this time.

Fuck.

Knowing they were good friends with the Goode family, especially their future heir, a young girl known as Gigi, failing at capturing the thief would mean that they would serve both of their heads in a platter and show it to everyone during their massive reunions. Jaida got chills down her spine at the thought of that. It was scary, yes, but it motivated her to catch the thief. Not only catch her, but also throw her behind bars once and for all. She wanted to get rid of her already and keep living her normal life with Jackie, resolving simpler murders or investigating nannies for old women who wanted the best for their kids. As much as she loved the thrill of this ‘voleuse fantôme’ lady, she really wanted a break and a very well-deserved nap.

She looked back at Jackie after a moment, noticing the nervousness in the Persian’s eyes, and carefully grabbed her by the wrist, squeezing it. She looked back at the brunette, and after a short sigh, managed to give her one of the confident smiles Jaida liked so much from her. She could see the motivation behind those golden eyes, there was a fire in them that Jaida couldn’t even explain. She was ready to do it. And seeing that look from Jackie gave her that little boost of confidence she needed. She was ready, they were ready.

“This time around, I’m sure we’re gonna get them.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #298

“i don’t like what i am becoming  /  wish i could just feel something”

Do you have sensitive skin? Very. Do you wear necklaces or earrings more? Just my tragus piercing, really. I only ever wear a necklace sometimes if I'm taking a "nice" picture. Rings or bracelets? I currently don't wear any bracelets, but I do always have one ring on. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Is your current crush younger than you? By just a couple years. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? Yes; he's very tan, especially his arms from being a mailman. Ranch or barbeque sunflower seeds? I don't like sunflower seeds. Do you know the first five books of the Bible in order? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nah, they're not my thing. Do you believe being gay is a choice or a "disorder"? Neither; I believe it's a genetic mutation. It defies biology and the very motive for life, but I always say that a mutation does not, in any way, equate to "wrong." I am extremely adamantly pro-gay rights and bisexual myself, so I can't shit-talk it. What are some of your favourite sounds? Crunching leaves, rain gently tapping on windows, windchimes, birdsong... mainly nature sounds. There are others, I'm just blanking right now. Are you a warm weather or cold weather person? Cold, 100%. What time do you wake up? What for? This spans over a massive gap, honestly... I can wake up as early as 5 or as late as 9:30. Most often, it's pretty early, and I call that my "trial" of being awake, lol... because I will almost without fail go back to sleep for a couple more hours. Hell, that happens even if I sleep on the later side. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? I used to do that in middle and maybe some of high school, I think; I'd fall asleep with my iPod on and earbuds in. I haven't done that in a very long time, though. Could you spend the rest of your life with someone who had bad taste in music? ... Yes? Their taste in music has nothing to do with them as a person???? Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? No, and it's best I don't. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, and that's how I found out I'm far from a lightweight. I wasn't going to drink more than I actually wanted to drink just to get wasted. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? Yeah. Who is the last child you held? My youngest niece. Have you ever woken up not knowing where you were? Maybe for a few moments after my surgery? I don't really recall. When is the last time you made the wrong choice in anything? Every fucking day when I decide what to do with my time. What is the most interesting thing in the room you are in? My snake, I guess. She's a champagne morph ball python. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? I put on soap first. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? Probably when Mom literally dragged me home after I tried to walk to Jason's to talk the night of the breakup. I lost my fucking mind. Which gift cards do you have in your wallet? I don't think I have any. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. I hate Pepsi. What is better: cute smile, or amazing eyes? A cute smile. What song are you listening to? "Drilled a Wire Through My Cheek" by Blue October is on currently. Name your best friend(s): Sara. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nope. Last night you felt? I wasn't suicidal, but still kinda wanted to die lmao. Do you still watch Disney channel? No. How do you like your eggs? I only enjoy them scrambled, and preferably with cheese. What’s your all-time favorite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. If you could be any TV character, who would you be and why? Idk, I don't watch TV enough. Maybe Donna from That '70s Show. Very strong and independent, outspoken, and not to mention she has great taste. I find her to be a good female character to look up to. Do you ever come up with really good ideas for stories or movies? Do you do anything with them? Yeah; I'll try to integrate them into RP characters and plots. What sort of things do you post on your Tumblr? Vintage photos, screen caps, girly things? It's a Markiplier cesspit lmao. Sometimes I'll reblog shit I find funny. I've been very inactive on it, though. Have you ever had a dream that you couldn’t shake, even for days after you woke up? Oh yes. When was the last time you felt like a nuisance, or unwanted? Recently, I'm sure. When was the last time your dreams were crushed, or at least hindered? I dunno. How’s school going? I'm not in school. Are you angry at anyone right now? Myself. The last person to say they loved you? Mom. When is the last time you laughed hard? Hard? I'm really not sure. Are there any words on your shirt? No, it's just a blank black tank. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Do you get bored easily? I'm bored to the point of thinking being dead would be more fun at some point almost every day. I have anhedonia badly. I'm honestly starting to think I've over-medicated to a numbing degree so am trying to wean off some things. Have you ever burned someone's picture? No. How long was your last nap? Maybe three hours? I was really, really tired, though. Can you name the last time you felt happy? Probably when Sara and I talk-talked for the first time in a while. When was the last time you played with sidewalk chalk? Oh, I have zero clue. Probably not since I was a kid. Do you have friends obsessed with World of Warcraft? Bro wtf don't @ me. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. Have you ever told someone you hated them? The only time I've seriously said that was to my dad before we reconciled after the divorce. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? I actually don't remember... Favorite thing to do on Facebook? See The Memes. Do you wear flip flops, regardless of weather, all the time? I SAID don't @ me. What is in store for your future? I both do and don't want to know. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. I adore bats. Do you chew on straws? No. Do you have any trophies? Yeah. Who’s the last person that creeped you out? Some guy who walked into the store I was at with Mom, continuously looking back and forth. Would you believe an ex if she/he said they love you? Well, that would depend on the person. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? Yeah. Anything exciting happening soon? My half-sister and her kids are visiting tomorrow and staying for a few days. It's a surprise for Mom. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? You could say these surveys kinda are. I don't have a designated "diary," though. When was the last time you took a painkiller? What was it for and did it work? I had womanly issues a few days back, and yeah, it helped. Have you ever had to go and rescue someone because their car broke down? When was the last time that happened? I mean, I've driven /with/ Mom to do so. I myself don't drive. What’s one sweet/candy you miss from your childhood? Is this item something you can still buy or has it been discontinued? Y'all remember Baby Bottle Pops??? 'Cuz I do, and I love those fuckin things. I still see them sometimes in gas stations. When was the last time you used some kind of moisturiser? A few days back for my hands. They were painfully dry. If you’re under lockdown/stay at home orders at the moment, are you struggling or managing okay? A bitch is s t r u g g l i n g. Has anything positive come out of the pandemic for you? Fuck no. Do you wear a watch? Is it analogue/digital? Does it it have things like a step-counter in it? No. Do you have any gifts from Christmas that you still haven’t opened or used? Not used, yes. Well, then some things are still in their boxes, but they're unwrapped. Do you know how to tie a tie? If so, who taught you? No. Who was your last missed call from? Did you ring that person back? Some number I didn't recognize, so no. When was the last time you had some kind of problem with your internet connection? Is this something that happens often? A few days back. It has occasional instances where it'll go out but come back on shortly. Do you have a favourite celebrity chef? No. Do you prefer pizza or pasta? Pizza. Have you ever volunteered anywhere before? What was the reason behind doing so? Once at PetSmart when they had dogs to adopt out, which was for school volunteer hours. I spent time with them, giving them attention and taking them outside. I also had two other animal-related volunteer days, but each was only a few hours because my fucking weak-ass body couldn't handle them. Have you ever been truly obsessed with something? What was it and how did you come to feel that way? I have an incredibly obsessive personality; I could probably name near on a dozen or so things I've been genuinely obsessed with. I don't know what it means to love in moderation. Some are/were pleasant obsessions, some aren't/weren't. Does it bother you when people turn up at your house without asking or waiting to be invited? Yes. Are you taller or shorter than average height? I'm the average for an American woman. Do you have any family members whose beliefs or ways of life completely embarrass you? YUP YUP YUP YUP. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? I don't know. Have you ever injured anyone in self-defense? No. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? In relation to its portion sizes, oatmeal or eggs. I can't have a whole lot of either. I wouldn't say I eat either a lot, but oatmeal is more common. Have you ever heard people talking badly about you behind your back? Did you confront them about it? Yes, and in at least two instances. Do you consider “home” to be the place you were born, or is it somewhere you create for yourself? I consider it to be my childhood home; not the one I was actually born in, but only because I was way too young to remember and we only lived there like, maybe two years into my life. Have you ever experienced having to leave your home due to a fire, or due to the threat of fire? No, thankfully. When was the last time you felt you were in a dangerous situation? When we had a serious tornado warning Christmas Eve. Yes. In winter. Are there any superstitions that you believe in? Which ones and what are your reasons for doing so? No. Are there any series of books/films that you never finished - either because you got bored of waiting or just lost interest? Oh, I'm sure. I Wouldn't say I lost interest in a lot though, I just wasn't interested enough, like for The Hunger Games. Which theme park is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Like, just one. Do you eat healthy? I try to be, at least. Though I've been doing very poorly about it lately because I'm a emotional goddamn eater and am having a very hard time. Do/did your parents fight often? They're divorced for a reason. Do YOU fight with them often? No. Would you say that you're respectful? I hope so. Are you a fan of Green Day? Yeah, I love them. Would you rather have 4 kids at one time or never have a kid? Jesus Christ, never. I don't want any anyway. Do you think 'friends with benefits' relationships really ever work? No. Do you or have you ever known a drug addict? Yes. Do you turn off the water while brushing your teeth or leave it on? I always turn it off. No reason to waste it. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Lots, if you include my half-siblings. Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting? I tend to find them cute. What's your homepage when you bring up the internet? Google. Was the last book you read for fun or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Have you ever dated someone you met online? Yes. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Depends on who's asking. Do you own any band tees? Oh, I have lots. Off the top of my head, some that I frequently wear are Metallica, Otep, and Korn. Do you know someone who wears a wig? No. Have you ever kissed someone under fireworks? I don't think so. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? I strongly prefer the Olive Garden kind, but I also enjoy ranch. What genre of music do you listen to the most? Metal of some sort. Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? No. Do you personally know any cops? No. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Not much at all. How confident are you in achieving your dreams? I ain't got the slightest clue by this point in my life. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? There's a lot of things, most bad, some good. Do you have to take medication for any mental illness? A lot. Do you like looking at pictures? It depends on what's in them. Specifically pictures from my past, that's usually a big no. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I guess in very vague ways. Which family member do you get along with the most? Well, define "get along with." I by far have the strongest relationship with my mom, but we fight sometimes. As for who I stay on the most stable ground with, that's probably my dad. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? I know I couldn't, but I'd love to. How did you meet your newest friend? Who even IS my newest friend... Have you ever watched the show Teen Mom? What did you think about it? No, and I think it's an awful fucking idea for a television show. Put a spotlight on and money into teen pregnancy, yeah, that's a genius plan. Are you old enough to remember MySpace? Yeah. Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I wouldn't be. Do you have trouble deleting your text messages? I don't need to. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No. Have you ever been called a tease? Yeah. Do people ever make fun of your religion or lack thereof? No. Do you say/do things a lot for shock effect? No? What was the last compliment you gave a guy? I probably told my nephew Ryder he was a good brother. Was one of your grandpas in a war? Maybe? Idk. I never knew either well at all. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yes. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Have you ever ordered something off a commercial on television? No. What's worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. Do you still consider Pluto a planet? Yes. Didn't they reinstate it as one, anyway? Right now, are you at a high, leveled, or low point? What's lower than "low?"

[cultivated-man]

About Me

I have been tagged by the lovely @day6andetcetera 

1. Its your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

I don’t really like celebrating my birthday, or getting gifts but I did ask for one thing this year- I asked for a pretty traditional Chinese tea set and sadly I haven’t had a lot of time to use it much. I keep asking my mom to buy me a ukulele but she wants to hold it for Christmas but I cant wait that long ugh

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

I’m currently listening to music because I was trying to do homework but lost focus so oh well I’m here now- anygay, I am listening to the 1975’s Frail State Of Mind. I love this song and I think that the 1975 is one of those groups that you should listen to if you really want to get to know me because I’m bad at explaining myself, I end up giving people music to understand- (them and Twenty One Pilots, swmrs, Stray Kids, Green Day.. I could go on-)

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

I don’t really snack, but if I do I make myself some ramen or I eat some pretzles. We rarely have candy in the house but if we do I’ll eat that.

4. What is your morning routine?

Currently my daily routine has been this: I wake up at anywhere between 8am to 10am, I get up about 30 minutes to an hour after that because it takes a while to really reboot my brain in the morning. Then go to the bathroom and splash my face with some water. After that I go downstairs, drink some coffee and chat with my mom for a while, then I go back upstairs into my room and read my tarot cards. I really don’t normally do much at all until my older sister goes to work at night (she is a huge distraction to me and how I function properly, I can’t do schoolwork when she’s around)

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

Would the grim reaper count? I feel like that would be super cool to be someone who takes someone’s life when it is time. (wow that’s dark) If not then I’d pick a demon or the devil anyway because that shit is cool too.

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

It really depends. Unless they have wronged me, my friends or family in a way that I can’t forgive them, I will tell them straight up to get out of my life. If its something small or I have my gut feeling that I just don’t like them, then I do what I normally do with any person- Ignore them. That’s kind of a lie, if they talk to me I will be kind and talk but if not I will do everything to avoid any human contact.

7. How do you define a toxic person?

Oh wow, what a question. I think a person is toxic when they are hypocritical, manipulative, overly cocky, downright aggressive/rude for no reason. That is probably my least favorite person.

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fanmeet type event?

I have been to a few concerts! Most of them I was just someone to fill an extra ticket, except when my ex bought us tickets to go see Twenty One Pilots two years ago when we were still together. It was a great show, that is my favorite band and seeing them live was the best experience. I would recommend everyone seeing them at least once. Even if you don’t like the band, because they just have such a strong presence on stage its amazing. I really really want to go to a kpop concert and now that I live near LA I think I may have more chances to try! Now it’s a matter of picking which group… now that’s hell.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

Kinda? I mean, my older sister got me into reading about it. Its based on huge generalizations of groups of people, but sometimes it makes sense, so I kinda believe.

10. If you only had one sense (hearing, sight, touch… ect.) which one would you want?

Another hard question. That’s super difficult for me because I’m torn between touch and hearing. Those two are two senses that I am really reliant on. I always listen to music and I can’t live without it. I do have hearing problems in my right ear so I fear any other problems with losing that. I also have lost my 20/20 vision but I am not so worried about that as much. I didn’t really answer that question but I don’t think I will because that’s super hard.

11. Who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

There are a few celebrities that I look up to I will just list a few but I wont explain why much because that would take for-fucking-ever. Here’s the list in no certain order: Elton John, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chris Bang, Matthew Grey Gubler, Lee Hoseok (wonho). All of them have something that really has changed my life in one way or another. All of them have said and done things that really have impacted me.

12. If you could talk to Your favorite celebrity for a limited time, what would you tell them?

I think I would want to talk about life. How they changed mine, and I would want to also make an impact on them as well. At least a little one, because I love being someone who makes people think differently, and I have made impacts on people that I never thought I would so I think that would be fun.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and its your choice. Where are we going, and what are we doing?

I’m a slut for museums, parks, bookstores, zoos, coffee shops, anything to deal with that type of thing, waking around and viewing things I guess? I’m a big nerd so anything like that would be amazing.

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

I like both, but I’m more of a spicy savory guy, but I do like me some sweet deserts.

15. Do you have any band merch or anything from your favorite artist? If so what?

I have a quite a few band tees for Monsta X, Stray Kids, BTS, Twenty One Pilots, and I think that’s it? I have a BTS and Twenty One Pilots beanie, I have BTS and Stray Kids albums/posters. I think that’s it? OH I have a Twenty One Pilots necklace that is a homemade friendship necklace made in the shape of Ohio (my home state) and my friend gave it to me with the confetti from the concert that we went to (she went to the concert with her sister, they carpooled with us). 

I’ll tag a few people~ @maddiesup @sarawatism @thecynicalartist @totalgarbitxh 

[peaches-of-1]

Peachtober | Day 14: Overgrown

Black!Reader x Monster Woo

Summary: Monster Woo is a simple man who sells flowers for a living and you are an Instagram photographer. Your models’ faces are better known than you yourself, but Woo wants to see what’s behind the camera.

Genre: Fluff

Moodboard and reaction requests open! Mstrlst in bio!

During a sunny Spring Day, a new shipment of flowers come in at 꽃벌 (play on words of flower and bee). It is the largest one since it is the start of the season. Valentine's Day is long gone, and White Day was a hit. All of the red and white roses being 70% of the seasonal inventory and now going back to its regular 40% since roses would sell no matter what season or occasion.

Youngwoo rolled up his burgundy sleeves to help the part time worker carry large sacks of fertilizer and dirt into the back while she balanced seedlings and vases under her arms and even atop her coily buzzcut.

“Naveah, once you’re done bringing in all the pots, can you start organizing them please?” He asked.

“Sure, Big Daddy.” She replied.

The tall man sighed, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

Naveah just smiled in response and continued to carry the rest of the product until the truck was empty. Then she began sorting pots by height and material while Woo worked on answering calls and writing down some new clients and jobs they were wanted for. A few weddings, a birthday, two divorce parties. One he turned down because they were planning on burning flowers, and he could never imagine putting his beautiful gifts through that.

A young woman about 20 or older came in dressed in purple slacks, heels to match, and a white shirt. Her typha colored hand reaching into her purse for her phone to check if she was at the right location.

She entered the store and Woo told the woman on the phone, “One second.”

“Hello.”

“Hello, I am Y/N and I run a photography blog. I was wondering if you would be interested in hiring me to take pictures of your flowers for advertising. I have experience with both still life and live models.” She said, setting her card down on the desk.

Woo picked it up and read the Hangul and the English translation. She was a photographer for sure.

“Why does your name seem so familiar?”

She gave a smile, “A few of my models have walked during Seoul Fashion Week this past bit cuz they saw my photos.”

He smiled, “Ah, right. It seems like  with a face like yours, you would be the one in front of the camera.”

Y/N began to blush, “Oh, um. Thank you.”

The two just stared at each other and smiled for a moment before she spoke up.

“Well, I should get going. You have a phone call to get back to.”

Woo nodded, “Oh, right. Yes. It was nice meeting you and I will be in contact.”

The woman left and the florist finished the call, thankful they hadn't hung up. Y/N...jeez she was beautiful.

The sound of a glass vase breaking snapped the tall man out of his daze. He sighed and called out the worker's name before heading over to get the broom to hand to her.

After work, Woo locked up and said farewell to his worker before taking a taxi home. Before going to bed, he looked up the Instagram page that was on the card Y/N gave him.

She was really good. Like, it was so much better than he had expected. Pictures of flowers in vases and people and so many beautiful faces. A lot of her stuff was currently flower based. It seemed she didn’t delete the stuff from her early days either. The camera quality had gome up so much too. Woo couldn’t help but like one of them that made him think of a tattoo. Wait, no.

It was from 4 years ago! She was going to think he was a creep! No, no. Y/N wouldn’t do that, right? It was just a possible employer checking out an employee’s past work to see if it would affect his current business. He made up his mind. Woo would hire the beautiful black girl to work for his company. All of his current photos were taken by him and Naveah, so they weren’t that great. If they could up the photo quality of the inventory, then they would sell more.

The large man soon fell asleep thinking about what floral arrangements he would make for each tier. Each one was linked with a color, so he could make it monochrome. Or maybe most of that color. Y/N looked really cute in purple. Hair like an allium.

The next day at the shop, Youngwoo called her while setting up the flowers he would use for this week’s specialty arrangement.

“Hello, this is Photobomb Productions, Y/N speaking.” She said in English and then repeated it in Korean.

Woo smiled, “Hello. This is Youngwoo from 꽃벌. I would like to take you up on your offer of becoming our floral photographer. I have been meaning to take some new pics for some summer deals.”

He could hear her squaling out of excitement in the background and then she cleared her throat and talked professionally, “That is great to hear. What day or time would the photographic subjects be ready for me to photograph?”

“Today is Friday, so I will be busy all weekend. I can get them done by either Tuesday or Wednesday since I already have sketches. All I have to do it put them together.”

“Perfecto! How does Tuesday at 2pm sound?” Y/N asked.

Woo looked at his schedule, “I have a delivery at 1:30 in the afternoon, but I will probably have my worker handle that one.”

“I see. Alright, well, I will see you then. Do not hesitate to call me if we have to move it to Wednesday. Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Woo replied and the woman hung up.

“Who was that, Big Daddy?” his worker asked, carrying in a box of seeds to set up in the seed bin near the front.

He rolled his eyes, “That woman who came in yesterday. A photographer. She’s gonna take photos for us from now on. I’m gonna be up late drafting up a contract and then we’ve gotta--” The tattooed florist sighed. “I shouldn’t bore you with technicalities. Let’s get these arrangements done.”

“Let me bring over the vases.” The short haired woman said.

Woo looked at the workbench, “Neveah, where are the Calla Lilies?” he asked after her.

“We had two weddings that wanted them, so we are getting an emergency shipment in, but not until tomorrow.” She replied, making sure the seed packets fell flat before adding more on.

He nodded, “Right. Right. Um…” then he remembered the thought he had last night and went to a sky blue bucket and picked out a bulbous purple flower with a long stem. “We’ll use these today instead.”

And so for the next few minutes before the sign was flipped, the two made matching arrangements. Neveah had always wanted to do more now that her probation was up. Woo’s shop was known for flowers and arrangements, served weddings of all types and even funerals. The most important thing about it was who it employed, however. Former convicts and people who were needed someplace to work while on probation.

Youngwoo believed that everyone deserved a second chance and that humans could change, which is why he hired who he did.

“Ah, it didn’t come out as well as yours.” Neveah said as hers had a bit of a bend in the long stem and just seemed overall more messy than the one her boss made.

“Don’t worry about it. This is only the third one you’ve ever made, so I think you did really well. In fact, yours will go on the box instead of mine so people will see it first.” The man set hers onto the white wooden box in the window and placed his next to it.

Dark pink roses and sunflowers graced the top of the white vase with solid aster placed in here and there. The allium rested above each one like a proud head. They would stay in the front for the week and then they would be dead and turned into compost for a nearby flower nursery.

The woman smiled and then it was time to flip the sign. Business didn’t pick up until around lunch which was the usual thing. People buying either a single flower or a dozen on the way to a date. When Neveah left for the day, Yieun clocked in and hugged Woo having started this business together before she tried and failed to become an idol.

“Is the car filled up yet? Remember, I have to drop off some stuff for a business meeting and a 16th birthday today.” She said.

“It’s all packed up and ready to go. Feel free to double check, but it had been pretty quiet today.” He replied. “Ah, are there business cards still inside?”

Tuesday came, and Woo was nervous to see her again. They had talked over the phone for the past couple of days to finalize things. Y/N was really kind but he could tell how much her work meant to her. It was a small business that she was ultimately running on her own and often didn’t get paid for her time because people hardly ever took the arts seriously. Photography was no exception.

People thought it was just sitting in good lighting, point and click, which it wasn’t.

Woo had three different arrangements made for each color level. White, green, purple, and yellow. Each added the amount of flower types and the default price was a clear glass vase. A custom vase color/type would cost $3 extra. The second and third were in custom vases and set up in the workshop.

It was extra clean for today and there were no arrangements to be made. Mondays through Wednesdays were the slowest of the slow most of the time. That meant today was perfect for Y/N to come in.

She arrived right on time in a yellow long sleeve top tucked into a rainbow skirt and white and rainbow shoes. Rainbow accessories too, but carrying a duffle bag of work stuff.

Yieun was out on her current delivery, so Woo fixed his brows and hair before greeting her with a poliot bow.

“Hello, Y/N. How are you doing today? Have you eaten?” He asked.

“I am doing well, and yes I have. I went to a taco place. It was good, but the sauce stained the jacket I was wearing.” The woman sighed, tying her hair back before she set up everything.

It wasn’t the most glamorous thing, but Woo asked if he could watch. She said as long as he stayed behind the camera, it was ok. However, the man wasn’t watching the flowers, but instead watched how she worked. The way she bent over to get a better angle from her tripod and set up the lights.

She seemed so delicate, like she herself was a rose petal in need of much care. However, they way she pursed her lips seemed to go perfectly like thorns. The man knew she wasn’t thinking about him. Her eyes were on the flowers, but at the same time, Y/N was all he could think about for the past week.

Sometimes his imagination would try to run away with the idea of her, but that wasn’t fair to her. He barely knew her last name.

The shy and strong Woo was enchanted by the photographer. Ah, he wanted to say something to her. To ask her out, but she was so professional. This was just work for her, and he didn’t want to get in the way of her job. Still, wasn’t it worth a chance to at least get a proper answer instead of wondering “What if?”

“No, no.”

“Um, Youngwoo? Can you help raise this up a bit more?” She reached her brown hand towards the top of the light.

As the taller man helped her, he decided to just go for it, “Hey, um, Y/N. Feel free to say no, but I was um. I was wondering if you would possibly maybe want to go on a sort of kind of date with me?”

“Oh, um, sure. Right there is good.”

Woo tightened the stand, and she began taking pictures again.

“What kind of place were you thinking?” She asked. “Y’know, for our date? Dinner and a movie?”

“I’d like to take you on a picnic. I know it’s sort of cliche, but Han River is really nice and there’s usually some nice busking that goes on there.” He said was her felt his heart beat outside of his chest, “I am leaving the shop to Yieun and a part timer this weekend. We can do it then.”

Y/N smiled up at him as she stood on the other side of the arrangement, “Sounds like a plan, Youngwoo. I shall wear a dress.”

“You can wear anything you want. I’m sure you’ll look great.” The man answered earnestly.

A surprised smile before Yieun called for him. Woo said he’d be right back and went to go talk to his co-worker about what had to be done. It wasn’t much. Just a bit of organizing here and there and sweeping. Simple things that took a while.

“By the way~” She whispered. “Did you ask her out? Niveah said she’s all you talk about.”

“I did.” He replied, playing coy.

“And? Did she say yes?”

A smile broke out on his face, “She did.”

Yieun put her hands up for a high five and asked for details one their hands met in celebration.

The following days, Woo kept sending his friend photos for potential outfits. She kept telling him to ditch the dress shirts because he looked awkward in them. It was just a casual thing, so he went with some gray sneakers, khakis, and a black and white striped top. Because of the pollen forecast, he opted out of contacts and just wore his glasses. The most expensive thing he wore was his gold watch from a birthday.

He had decided on a simple picnic instead of the ferry for dinner. Maybe if things went well, but he didn't wanna look too far ahead. He knew of a spot away from the main busy area where a few weeping willows provided the perfect shade.

“Youngwoo-ssi!” Her familiar voice called.

The man was breathless as could be as Y/N walked towards him, her copper skin covered in a blue and white dress that allowed for her arm to be bare except for a gold and white bracelet. Simple makeup other than a pink matte lip that accented her smile.

They bowed and greeted each other.

“You look...amazing.” He couldn’t help but stared.

“Thank you. You look great, too. I think this is my first time seeing you without an apron on.” She replied.

Woo smiled in response, “Thank you. I have a super special spot for us. A friend told me about it.”

She smiled, “Sounds great.”

“Have you had any other clients lately?” He asked.

“Oh my gosh, so I had this really sweet woman come in yesterday with her pregnant wife so that we can do the pregnancy announcement pictures and stuff. This is fine. I had it set up and such for that because she made an appointment.”

The tall man smiled, “Oh, that is really nice.”

“However, she went into labor in the middle of me taking the photos.”

“She what?”

“Right?

Woo asked, “Did she not know she was going to give birth?”

Y/N shrugged dramatically, “I guess not, but luckily, my next door neighbor is in her last year of training to become a nurse. She helped to deliver the baby in my bathtub.” She laughed. “I spent most of the day cleaning it.”

Both of them laughed at the whole story. That’s what it was like to have an at home studio as a photographer.

“Ah, here it is.”

Behind the leaves of a willow tree, there was a perfect little alcove where a red gingham blanket was spread out and food was separated between the two in the form of sandwiches. Conversation flowed smoothly as the overgrown tree provided shade for the couple that fate decided to put together. They talked about work and of family.

Kim Youngwoo blushed when she complimented him on being a good person, taking in people society had rejected because of a series of bad mistakes.

He told her about how he just wanted to help people like him, how the U.S. basically deported him back to Korea because of--

“I don’t care what you did, Youngwoo.” Y/N said honestly. “You’re obviously not the same person you were back then, or at least you are doing much better. Besides, that isn’t the person I’m starting fall for.”

“Who are you starting to fall for?” Woo asked, hoping his heart was beating for all the right reasons.

She bit her lip and then looked up at him after hesitating to say the truth, “You.”

[clarkgriffon]

50 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by @pendragaryen​ @moonshoesreyes​ @immortalpramheda​ @talistheintrovert​

What is the color of your hairbrush? Purple i think?

Name a food you never eat? fish

Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm right now, but honestly it depends on the weather. if it is slightly too hot or too cold, you can bet i’ll be bitching about it.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? listening to an econometrics lecture

What is your favorite candy bar? i mean, i’m bougie, so any high quality chocolate bar, but of the standards you’d get at the checkout in a grocery probably twix or three musketeers

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? oh, definitely. dodger’s games as a kid, and i danced at a couple of basketball games at halftime in high school and then stayed to watch the game

What is the last thing you said out loud? “okay.” my mom said she was going to make a call to someone and that was literally the only response necessary.

What is your favorite ice cream? extreme moosetracks or tillamook mudslide

What was the last thing you had to drink? i want to say water because i have a glass of water right next to me but it was actually coffee

Do you like your wallet? i mean yeah. it’s one of those snap wallets (not a fold over) and it’s sequined and zebra print. i think i got it at claire’s at like age 12 and i’ve been using it since.

What was the last thing you ate? bean and beef burrito.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? we in quaratine babey, i don’t leave the house.

The last sporting event you watched? implying i would willingly watch sports is hilarious. i don’t have a fucking clue.

What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? lots of, lots of butter.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my sister, we split the cost on a mother’s day gift and she texted me to make sure it arrived.

Ever go camping? yeah, i was a girl scout.

Do you take vitamins? i should. i’m supposed to take vitamin d but uhhh can’t remember the last time i did that 

Do you go to church every Sunday? no....... im jewish. but also not religious. also leave my house every sunday are you crazy?

Do you have a tan? no.

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food

Do you drink your soda with a straw? not usually. or i guess yeah if it’s from a soda fountain.

What color socks do you usually wear? white with colored accents.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I hate driving so jot that down, but when i do drive............ no.

What terrifies you? lack of understanding, the unkown.

Look to your left, what do you see? the wall.

What chore do you hate? all of them, but especially mopping. it just feels like a lot of work.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i... i don’t know. they’re cool i guess?

What’s your favorite soda? Diet Dr. Pepper

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? right now drive-thrus (duh), but it depends. i don’t own a car when i’m at school so i have to walk in.

Who’s the last person you talked to? like i said. my mom.

Favorite cut of beef? i feel like there are specific terms for this that i don’t know, but i sure do like beef.

Last song you listened to? Clumsy - All Time Low

Last book you read? Probably my urban planning text book

Favorite day of the week? sunday. n o, saturday.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? sure.

How do you like your coffee? cream and sugar.

Favorite pair of shoes? tennis shoes, black, comfy cushioning.

The time you normally go to sleep? 12:30-1am

The time you normally get up? 10am

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets. i’m not getting up to see a sunrise.

How many blankets on your bed? 3-4, but i only use 1-2 usually.

Describe your kitchen plates: teal and orange.

Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? don’t drink

Do you play cards? depends on the game

What color is your car? don’t own a car

Can you change a tire? fuck no

Your favorite province? what be a province

Favorite job you’ve ever had? i haven’t had many. they were all pretty low tier, minimum wage type jobs so i’m pretty ambivalent.

How did you get your biggest scar? ooh, i have a scar on my elbow about the size of a quarter that i got by tripping on the blacktop at school in middle school. because i was running. on the blacktop. it’s my own fault. it’s super healed now and way less noticeable but still there.

What did you do today that made someone else happy? i’ve been awake like 2 hours cut me some slack. oh, i gave my dad a hug. that’s good.

tagging whoever wants to do this!