#i mean i know you cant expect this to NOT happen. youre not immune to the pendullum

[end-orfino]

I know that I really probably shouldn't be one to talk about these sorts of things but I don't see anyone else talking about it so. Maybe we, as people who say they're tolerant and accepting of everyone, shouldn't critisize anyone for anything that they can't change, no matter what feature of theirs it is, including people whose features are generally not the ones being shamed. Like I understand the need to make a reversal of who this metaphorical knife(?) is aimed at but maybe we shouldn't aim it at anyone. Maybe we should just put it down

[cogbreath]

what is your opinion on pro ship discourse? I know it is a tough or awkward subject, you do not have to answer this

im not proship myself but at the same time it seems completely unrealistic and infeasible to try to put a stop to it, people r gonna write and create stuff like that no matter what, and i genuinely do believe that some of it is done for shock value/attention , and giving it a response or acknowledgment is what they want. basically i take a sort of "dont feed the trolls" mentality about it. i dont want to see it but i also dont want to let it get to me. the internet is a place where theres some truly heinous and nasty shit out there and i feel like you'll destroy yourself mentally if you make it a major thing to worry about.

i do kinda live online but the fsct is that for the most part (outside of some things ive heard abt happening at like fan conventions) that it can be avoided by logging off. so becsuse of that as well i dont find it exactly an issue thats worth prioritising the way some ppl who r against pro-ship stuff are.

way more important things to spend your life worrying over.

what i find very annoying is the whole "dont like dont read" defense, and its really pathetic and stupid the way proshippers act like their writings are immune from criticism, or that any criticism that is against the subject matter in their writings is invalid, and they cry "harassment" too often.

frankly you shouldnt be surprised also that ppl will tell you to kill yourself and think thst youre disgusting if youre writing that kind of stuff, and i cant feel sorry for you if you dont have the backbone to take it. if its a problem then stop writing that stuff lol. if u have the guts to do it you should have the guts to handle the hate.

also the way some of them literally compare criticism to actual book burnings and police violence??? which is racist and ludicrous.

a lot of them also looveeee to use lolita as a gotcha but the truth is their writings are nothing like nabokovs in terms of quality and worth, and they dont seem to realise he wrote that as a critique of the normalisation and glamourisation of pedophilia.

out of morbid curiosity i once read a fanfic that touted itself as being inspired by such. i wanted to see what that author thinks being inspired by nabokov's work means, and not big surprise, it was masturbatory slop.

sure its possible that you can write fanfic that involves dubious subjects like that and do it well, but its rare.

irt to people who say they write it to cope, i have my doubts on that as well unless its a story where its clear that characters involved will grow and heal, or its very clear its written as a cautionary tale or something to that effect. maybe some ppl out there legit do cope with writing something that i find to just be nasty masturbatory slop, i dont know, but i dont know if thsts actually a healthy coping mechanism.

many ppl say that if you want to do that you should make it all original, but i think we are past that point, and fanfic is a medium that a lot of ppl use to express and cope about things. I've done it myself (albeit unpublished) and i find that argument to mostly be based in that they feel its cringe bc its fanfic rather than anything to do with genuine criticism.

ive also noticed the emergence of new terms like "comship" ? i kind of forget whst this means i think its like being neutral on it? i find it a bit shitty that ppl consider neutrality on it to be a bad thing? i csnt blame someone for not giving a shit about it. i think its lame to expect everyone whos involved with fandom to pick a camp to sit in, especially when the subject matter is often triggering. someones neutrality could be bc they dont want to think about it too much for that reason.

and as far as it goes though for RPF? i think it's really not THAT bad of a thing. especially bc in all honesty its moreso about that persons public persona. & just because its parasocial doesnt mean its wrong to do, thats simply a descriptor of the dynamic between fanbases & public figures. there is some absolutely NASTY and questionable stuff out there especially like for kpop bands 😭

that being said public figures do have the right to be uncomfortable about it either way and i do find it unfortunate and disrespectful that fans arent willing to listen to them when/if they say they dont like having it written about them. ABSOLUTELY shouldnt write it about irl minors though regardless.

oh and also like if ur writing it about like. ur coworker or someone u kno personally thats kinda really creepy . but its also not wrong to fantasise about people thought crimes arent real. just. dont publish it or show them that

anyway feel free to disagree with anything i have an open mind abt this most of its based off personal inference i havent rlly ever discussed it much ^_^

[dabisqueen]

poor little kōki is the exact opposite of dabi, he has an ice quirk with a body made for a fire quirk (doesnt get his quirk until he's nearly five)

his quirk is dry ice, he can form little bits of it on his skin, and thankfully, hes at least immune to the carbon dioxide gas that pours off of it

only thing is when he uses it for a long period of time, little ice burns (yes thats a thing) and frostbite form where the ice was

yua's sad about him getting an ice quirk that intense but its still not as bad as hers so shes thankful for that

has a little crying session with kōki one day when he runs up to her crying (like, ugly crying) about his hands hurting and how theyre so cold but feel like they've been set on fire

you ever been outside in cold weather without gloves on? after a while it starts to feel like your hands are on fire and i can tell you it hurts, it does actually feel like theyre actively on fire (discovered this during recess and the teachers STILL refused to let us inside smh)

yua knows that nerve damage from an ice quirk is inevitable, as far as she's aware, but shes startled bc hes getting it so much more intensely than she did and a lot sooner

when the nerve damage gets to his wrists and little bits of frostbite start forming at his fingertips she makes the decision to try and put him on quirk dampeners (i've always thought this was or at least should be a thing for people with intense quirks and/or criminals in custody)

she makes the decision while dabi is out on a mission so the moment he gets back to the hideout its "dabi i'm going to try to get kōki on quirk dampeners. he's starting to get frostbite on his fingers and i've tried warming him up and so has masami and its not helping and i cant take another day of him crying over the nerve damage his quirk is causing."

dabi sort of blames himself because even if the kid didn't get his quirk, he probably should've stayed away from yua. i mean, his parents did the hot + cold thing and look what happened to him, how did he not expect that somebody with blue fire + somebody with an ice quirk that lets their body get as cold as ice xiv (-160⁰C, i think, dont quote me on that) would end up with at least one of their kids ending up at least somewhat like him

he doesnt argue with her, cause at this point kōki is ten and he does not want to wait until he hits puberty to see if his quirk gets even stronger and/or more harmful like his did, and from how she's talking, momma bear does not sound like shes going to try to hear him out even if he didn't wanna put kōki on quirk dampeners

kōki (reluctantly) agrees to them, and yeah, hes sad that he cant summon dry ice anymore (he can pretty much only lower his body temperature now due to the dampeners) but he'll take being nearly quirkless over one that causes that much pain

when masami closes in on puberty dabi watches her like a HAWK especially whenever she's using her quirk (not very often since she can't safely use it inside, but if shes excited sometimes she'll poof into a ball of flames for a moment completely on accident, so sometimes it happens inside anyways)

she's not happy about it ofc "dad PLEASE i didn't wanna use a blow torch for this recipe and you staring at me is making me feel like im messing it up."

masami is 17 or 18– pretty much done with the worst of puberty and nearing the end of it for girls– before he lets up on the "much watch the baby" thing

both kōki and masami bug them for another sibling constantly "dad, dad, please i'm your sweet little girl you GOTTA listen to me and give me a little sister pleeeeeaaase i'll do the dishes or something if you do." "no, masami, shut up, we don't need a another girl. dad, look at me. give me a brother. i'll feed him and take care of him i promise." "mom–"

dabi is tempted but yua absolutely refuses because shes nervous the next one will have issues with their quirk too and after hearing her reasoning he suggests she goes on birth control

cause if shes on BC then he wont have to wear a stupid ass condom and they wont have to worry about another kid

dabi takes a lot of pride in the fact that his kids adore him

anytime they get hurt, if he's there at the moment, theyre immediately running over to him and telling him what happened

kōki normally just wants a hug and a "its okay", but masami on the otherhand wants the ouchie smooched and to be held for a while ( a nap w/ dad doesn't sound too bad but they HAVE to have a fan blasting them because their body heats combined makes them sweat gallons )

kōki drew something? immediately running to show dad

masami found out she can make fire come out of her nose? running to show dad

one of em had a nightmare? oh dad looks cozy and safe, think i'll sleep between him and mom tonight

kōki cools down the older he gets and will try to deal with shit on his own more often, really only goes to dabi when he needs to, but still shows he loves him even if its occasionally

"kōki why are you hugging me im in the middle of something" "because i love you and i havent gotten a hug from you in a few days AND masami's being an ass."

masami still goes to dabi for just about everything even as she grows and even into adulthood takes naps with him

still idolizes dabi just not like a little kid does, goes from "my dad is my favorite person ever he can do know wrong he can probably fly too but I'll have to ask AND he can totally beat up your dad" to "my dad's a total badass and i love him. could still totally beat up your dad btw"

in an au where they can actually go to public school– one day when theyre teens kōki brings home a boy with a fire quirk and masami brings home a boy with an ice quirk and dabi just thinks "ah. the cycle continues."

Hey everyone! This is a really nice read!

So cute, all the details!

You did well 💙

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

���you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

[yanderelovebites]

Warning: hinted DDLG, not too explicit but reader does show signs of a Little.

*This is part of a thirst book that is both Fluff and Smut. This is a fluff one with a soulmate reader from the tattoo AU. Some future ones will be connected to this.

It was a long power struggle but the villains came on top. Many heroes and heroes-in-training lost a chip. The chips were made so they could avoid their soulmate in the event their soulmate was a villain or any other type of criminal. Most heroes were executed if they didn't match up to a villain. Some that were in training were given a choice redemption based on their year and if they interacted at all with villains before. Then, there was the rest of the classes.

These children gathered were found to have been forced to, while in the school, have a temporary working chip as well. They took it out and yet again the villains checked. You were in the last class they checked. You were young so you knew if by chance you were one... they would be older than you. You trembled at the thought of some much older woman or man potentially having right over you... you were raised to believe if someone is a villain, they can't love and they will mistreat their match.

That's terrifying.

To be honest... you hope you bleed out, but it's been slow. It'll close only to reopen if people are too rough. And it was a sloppy job. You see, you were stabbed because you were the forced 'volunteer' of what would happen if any of you resisted. They said for being a such a 'good girl and helping' they'd bandage the stab wound.

You hear the door open and you and your classmates are picked up. You didn't fight it. You were only a general class so judgement wouldn't be too harsh after they realize none matched a villain. You all were put in a line alphabetically. You were no. 14. You shiver as you see them scan the soulmate tattoo on the class rep. They pulled her away to the right... she would be okay right? The left is where the... soulmates have been pulled. Over there are nurses forced to be there. It's terrifying... this whole situation. You can't really describe it...

As each person went ahead, not single before you went to the left nor were they moved forward to die by the leader in all this....

Tomura Shigaraki.

You trembled a bit as the last person before you was moved. You trembled partly in fear and partly in pain. It still hurt. The men picked you up like the last and put you on the scan. Unlike the last thirteen people, there was green flash once it scanned the back of your neck... your tattoo was a hand with spider lilies growing from the palm. You were picked up but... brought to the left..?

The left...!

You didn't see who it was. They only said the match would appear on top of the machine, but those being scanned can't see that. A nurse takes you and says she's just going to check you over because the villains were definitely rough with the others. You could only nod.

She takes your clothes off and gasps a little "W-Were you the 'example' dear?" You nod again and she tells you to lay back as she fixes this and phones the doctor. Things got hazy from there and at some point, you passed out sometime after the doctor came.

You woke again in cozy bedroom. You were on a soft, but firm, mattress with purple sheets and a black bed cover. Under it was a fluffy blanket and even more at the foot of the bed. You had pillows around you and a couple stuffies. The nurse was at your side and smiled "Nice to see you're awake dearie. Please don't move, we don't want you to reopen the wound or undo the stitches. I was checking on your monitor. I will get someone to bring in food, alright?"

You replied hoarsely "A-Alright, ma'am..." She scurried off so you can better look around, but only on your back. There's an empty cork board, a simple desk with what you can assume are notebooks and pencils. There's a stain-glass window that cant be open and you can somewhat see has bars on the other side.

The walls were a dark shade of purple and the curtains were also black like the bed cover. There were color changing lights around the ceiling and in the center of the ceiling appeared to be the main room light. There was a TV hooked to the wall with - Blue Ray and an Xbox set up. The TV was on a clothes dresser.

You waited a few more minutes and a young girl came in with eggs, toast and some juice. The helped you sit up so you wouldn't open the wound and they supervise the meal.

You get sleepy after and they help you go back to sleep. You unconsciously hugged one of the many stuffies. You loved stuffies... back with your horrible mom who only cared that you be in a dumb hero school, you had many on your bed.

You held it close and let your dreams take you. This happened repeatedly that you asked the nurse if they put stuff in your food. She said "Yes, h-he asked us to. It's to make sure you don't reopen the wound... I assure you it's just until your fully healed, then you won't need that anymore!" She nervously chuckled it off. You latched onto her sleeve.

"Ma'am, I never saw who was flashed on the machine as to who my... mate is. Do you know?" You asked her. She looks at you sadly... "Miss L/n, it's the very man responsible for our nation's hell. Tomura Shigaraki is your match," she said as you let go. She scurried away once again.

Tomura Shigaraki.

The man who broke Izuku Midoriya. (He's alive babies)

The man who disabled your mom's sperm donor... (daddy issues :3)

A man who can leave you literally in dust is your soulmate?

Someone who has killed thousands?

The man who did the executions?

The man who you felt stare at you and your peers like you're insignificant ants?

You could only hold the stuffies, now frightened once again of your unfortunate situation. The second nurse comes again and you eat swiftly again. Would you feel safe knowing the stuffies and Blankies and the pillows you hugged so close were his doing?

Heh.

The man from the security screen room wouldn't know yet. He always kept watch of you there since that day. It was maybe two weeks ago. You're his, you had no choice. He never had the choice either. He's yet to explicitly interact, afraid one slight action from either of you would destroy your fragile body. On one hand, he could get a quirk disabling room-they had one available-and force you to share with him, but that could lead to safety issues.

It would be best left as a room used when you both are ready for it.

He knew you'd enjoy the stuffies, they questioned your mother through threats. She's expected to release some of your materialistic treasures. Anything significant. He, quite amused, enjoyed watching you ask finally who you were stuck with, although didn't like the nurse's tone. You seemed scared, but Tomura knew it would be that way. It's why he spoils you. He's bound to be shitty so you might as well get something good, right?

He really didn't want to admit he liked the idea of being able to care about someone. To be able to love them without any other reason than it's what he craves.

He hopes he won't have to discipline you too much once you're fully healed...

—

Eventually, it comes to the nearing point of  your healing process, but also the fact you've grown an immunity. The drug only left you unable to move now. It was quiet. No sound and unable to open your eyes... it's like a horror film. At least you know no one would harm you... but it still scared you.

After a good while, you hear a door creak open. You hear unfamiliar footsteps. These ones are more... stealthy. The nurse's were hard and left a tapping sound once it met the floor. This seemed quiet, as if he didn't want anyone to know he or she is there. You feel the bed sink in and wish you could open your eyes.

They stroke your head with only two fingers. It felt... calming. Your body accepted his touch like second nature. You hear a rough voice say "So innocent..." They gently move hair away from your face. "I wonder how you're fairing inside that little head of yours, being confined to a bed, no freedom besides what little conversation that nurse has with you... I'd imagine its boring," the voice said to your immobile body. After some thought... the voice sounded somewhat familiar.

He strokes your head again with two fingers. "You like these don't you... the stuffed animals. You cling to them like a small child, it adorable. I'm glad you like them so much... means I didn't waste time picking a few for you after that long day of going through your entire school," the voice said. His last sentence was all you needed to know who this was without any doubt. Tomura.

"You're mine regardless," he said, twirling a piece of your hair with his index finger, you assume anyway. "When you heal, I'll make sure you understand what that means," he mutters, almost too low for you to catch. It was creepy, but comforting, knowing he's talking to you while unconscious-or at least he thinks you are.

It becomes quiet, the only thing you hear is the clock, your breathing, his too, and the fabric static from your pillow. Yet, the warmth of his fingers never stops moving. They pet you almost robotically until you hear a beep from a watch. He sighs. "I'll be back tomorrow, awake or not..." he said. You blushed in your sleep as you felt chapped lips kiss your forehead, but then they leave along with your soulmate. He's gone with a simple thud of the door closing...

All while you long for his warmth again.

[nestable]

Just to clarify on my previous post, I was not attacking elains character or doing any sort of character analysis because I can see how it may be interpreted as this way. I was merely focused on describing women as strong even if they arent and how I believe this is done for the sake of trying to make women valuable in any narrative. Fictional or in reality.

If a woman is weak, it's okay. If a woman is strong it's okay. No woman should have to be forced into the strong narrative in fiction just so that they are worthy of respect. Weak women are deserving of respect too. And in my perspective, based on the evidence presented, elain is weak and THATS OKAY.

Of course she has other aspects of her character that may be noteworthy but I'm not talking about that, (and her stans can go ahead and make character analysis' about her to their hearts content) I'm talking about weakness. Women should be allowed to be weak, it really isnt a bad thing guys let's just remove the stigma attached to that word. Everyone suffers from moments of weakness,it's a part of being human.

It may sound harsh, but I'm saying this from a factual point of view based on the books and even OTHER CHARACTERS perception of her, elain is weak which is why shes allowed to get away with a lot of her behaviour.

The argument is that elain is excused for her inaction in acotar because shes kind and likeable, but I think it's also because the other characters are aware that shes weak and dont expect much from her. This was perfectly depicted with Rhysands 'elain is elain' line. He said this because even he is aware that elain is weak and wouldn't be able to take care of feyre and step up in the house to help out. No one expects much from her because of this trait of hers.

Another example is right back to acotar when feyre says that helping around the house 'just never occured to elain' (this line/ justification makes her seem like a complete dimwit but whatever) this line alone you can tell that even feyre sees elain the same way and that is weak. I mean how else can you describe a person who sees her sister struggling but it never crosses her mind to help out even though shes described as the nicest person out there?

Theres many other examples that prove my point and you just have to read the books to find them. And let me reiterate because the word weak has a bad quanitation. ITS OKAY TO BE WEAK, SHE IS STILL DESERVING OF RESPECT.

Weakness isnt a negative thing, especially if you are a woman because it has its advantages. We see elain get excuse for her behavior in acotar because shes weak and nesta attacked because she strong. This is because strength on women is seen as a target and people try their best to pull it down, and apart from the female aspect, strong people tend to get tried alot and put through unimaginable hell because people believe that they can and should handle it.

This happens with nesta a hell of a lot because her exterior and general attitude may shout mean, but that is associated with her strength. The ability to be unfazed and stand her ground regardless of how many people take shots at her. The first time this happens is how feyre seems to be more frustrated with nesta for not helping around the house because she is strong but doesnt expect the same from elain. The next time is when cassian reads her for filth in acomaf for not helping feyre and doesnt do the same to elain because at that point hes concluded that nesta is strong and at his level(remember how feyre said that he looked at her as an opponent) so she can take his verbal 'abuse' and not be deterred by it. Then we watch her be thrown into the IC dynamic and watch them badmouth her when shes present even though theyd never even attempt that with elain. There are a lot of other occurrences where the IC take shots at nesta and think that she can take them because shes strong, and again we have rhys confirming this fact with his 'nesta is illyrian line'. This implies that nesta is strong and is capable of doing more to help (and I agree) whereas elain is the complete opposite because shes 'weak'. (Although I think this has more to do with choices, because feyre had to do backflips to call nesta out on it yet finds an unreasonable excuse for elain. But i digress)

Being described as strong can be a compliment but can be damaging as well because people think that you are made of steel and immune to feeling. 'Strong' peoples mental health is often over looked and downplayed because people believe that they are always okay and can handle anything. Acofas and nestas situation while everyone ignores her plight, was a perfect example of how this happens. If it were elain who was exhibiting nesta behavior then the whole IC wouldve bent over backwards to help her, because 'elain is elain' yet ignore nesta because shes strong and can handle it. Even though it's clear she cant.

Personally, I would love to be labelled as weak because then people know about your boundaries and go out of their way to respect them, but if you are seen as strong then people constantly push you and ignore your feelings because you can take it.

Alas, unfortunately that will never happen for me because I'm black and a woman and immediately fall into the dangerous rhetoric of 'strong black women' so me being strong is seen as a given by society.

To end this convoluted essay I leave you with this 'Tough times never last, only tough people last.' And 'When the going gets tough, the tough get going' And that can be applied to every character in the acotar series to determine their 'strenght' or 'weakness' as a person and both descriptions are valid.❤

[philosophicalparadox]

I couldn't choose one ^_^; but for mephirin how about one of these?

3. “Am I dead?”

18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”

86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

111. “Is that a challenge?”

151. “Times up!”

191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”

204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”

(I promise I used one of these, it's just at the end!) TW for talk of suicide, death, self harm(minor) and angst (with a little fluff at the end. But first you must suffer the cringe that is Mephisto + feelings)

....................

Rin sat down in front of Mephisto's mansion, letting the weight in his stomach anchor him to the concrete, even though his mind felt a million miles away.

"You do realize it's the middle of the night." A smooth voice chimed behind him. Rin had expected his company - in fact that was the very reason he was there, or so he thought.

Getting no reply to his passive statement, Mephisto came up on his flank, dressed in a dark purple velvet robe that was left largely open at the top, exposing his pale chest to the humid night air, his bare, clawed feet making not a single sound. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cool either, not that Rin would have noticed anyway.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask why I'm here." Rin said softly after a long, wet pause.

"Did you want me to?" Rin felt his teeth clench. He didnt have the energy to play stupid games. But he also knew Mephisto was right. He really needed to stop expecting human responses from a cosmic demon entity. It wasn't good for his sanity.

"I want you to sit by me." He stated. If Mephisto wanted him to be forthcoming with his desires, so be it. Rin half expected a retort, but couldn't say he was all that disappointed when the older man obliged. He sat at arms length, predictably uncomfortable with intimacy in these situations. And Rin knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he knew why he was here anyhow.

"Nothing can live forever, Rin. I know that better than anyone."

"Except for you, maybe." Rin replied sarcastically. "And only because you choose to live through it all." Rin responded bitterly. His grimace turned to a body-wide tremble. "How? How do you watch people die again and again and just keep doing it?"

"Doing what, precisely?"

"Living."

"Hmm." Mephisto hummed as he thought, bringing a thin, sharp clawed finger to his jawline. "That is actually not a bad question." Rin turned a curious gaze to his elder, surprised how compliant he was being tonight. Usually the man was as rigid as iron and as slippery as smoke whenever it came to feely-stuff like this, not that such a vague statement was out of the ordinary for him.

"And why isn't it a bad question?" Rin parroted his typical sing songy voice at him as a jab, but they both knew there was no heart in it.

"That is a good question." Mephisto smiled leerily at Rin, who was so used to these kinds of interactions by now he was hardly fazed. "And is it one worth answering? Or are you too intimidated by me? By this?" The look that morphed onto Mephisto's face like a sculptor playing with clay was priceless.

"Excuse me?" He said incredulously.

"You're intimidated by touchy feely stuff, though I don't know why. Me being all fucked up and hurt right now creeps you out, I know it does." Mephisto pursed his lips into a hard line, and Rin knew he was spot on. He decided it felt good to torment the man a little and dug in deeper. "So if you're going to sit there and mock me because you're a coward who is allergic to feelings, then you can fuck right off."

"Coward?" Rin felt a tiny ripple of panic tear through his already heightened body, the tone Mephisto used indicating that that might not have been the best word to use. But it was too late to back out now.

"Yes, a coward." Rin swallowed, refusing to be fazed. "And if you want to prove me wrong you'll answer the damn question instead of beating around the bush. But you're too scared of feelings to do that," Rin sighed, suddenly overtaken with a sense of fatigue. "So I don't know why I try. Or what I came here for, anyway. Company? Comfort? Hah. Don't know where I got that idea from."

A long, pregnant pause ensued. Rin glanced up at Mephisto once or twice, expecting a sharp retort, and seen him ruminating on an apt reply. What he said next was not what Rin was expecting though.

"Is that a challenge?"

Rin met cautiously determined eyes and was a bit unsure of what to say. "Only if you plan on taking it, Mr. Tough Guy." Rin tried, and failed, to stop the little smile that graced his lips. "Or do you think you cant be that open with me?" Rin could tell from the apprehension that drifted across Mephisto's glowy irises like a tiny cloud dims the moon that he was right. This man was in the business of trusting no one with his secrets. Not even his best piece. Especially not his best piece.

"I'm not going to think less of you for feeling things. Quite the opposite if anything. Besides..." Rin cringed when the thought of his brother's freshly dug grave. "I could use the distraction from my own thoughts."

"So you've elected to pick through mine. How charming of you." Mephisto pinned his ears with a sarcastic grimace before returning to his thoughts, though his expresion was a touch softer.

"I am not unfamiliar with death, of that you can be sure - and I don't mean the entity either." Mephisto began. "I have died before. But as you know by now, death for demons is not quite the same. Indeed, neither is the death of Nephilim." Rin felt his heart throb achingly in his chest and fought the sudden, unbidden urge to cry. He was the last one left. All he had was Mephisto now.

"And suicide?" Rin asked boldly, unsure of where, even, the question rose from. "Are you familiar with that?"

"Yes, actually, I am. In a way." Mephisto's voice took on a somber tone (for him) and Rin had to resist the urge to ask if he was being serious or not. Mephisto looked to Rin's face and could read everything. "I am not immune to my own mind, unfortunately. Boredom, depression - these things are not beyond me. I have experienced them, in my own way. I admit I have trouble understanding why some humans end their lives, but not all of them."

"So..." Rin's mind was reeling trying to catch up. He wasn't precisely surprised, exactly - Mephisto could be very macabre when the situation allowed, but Rin didn't trust the integrity of his words just yet. "Have you ever tried to kill yourself?"

"Not intentionally, no. By which I mean that I have most certainly damaged myself and my body needlessly, but it was never with the exact intention of dying."

"So you've hurt yourself? On purpose?"

"Yes. Sometimes out of boredom. Sometimes for other reasons." The sudden, though subtle tension in Mephisto's voice told Rin that was as close to disclosing those reasons as he was going to get.

"I can understand that, I guess." Rin thought about it. He'd injured himself on purpose before, although it was out of curiosity more than self loathing. He couldn't say he hadn't considered it before while he felt really low, though.

"What happened to Yukio was not your fault."

The statement came out of left field and hit Rin like a train. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing now. "He did what he felt he had to do." Rin justified weakly. "He was getting old. His body was eating itself. I don't blame him or me for not letting him suffer." Rin's voice cracked. "I just wish I could have been there. Said goodbye. I know it didn't hurt, but..." Rin couldn't keep his composure. "There were better ways to do it. No one would have told him no. No one." Rin garbled through sobs.

"I tried to talk to him about that actually. He didn't want anyone else doing it for him. He wanted to be in control of his life to the very last second."

"I know. I know." Rin heaved a heavy sigh to try and calm down, but everything, every part of him was shaking and he just wanted to run away from the pain. To curl up and die because the last part of his world had gone to a better place and he desperately wanted to follow. He didn't want to be alone. Anything but alone.

A cold, spindly hand on the small of his back shocked him back into reality, and he realised he was clenching his jaw so hard it hurt.

"Don't drift away. It wont take you anywhere you want to go." Mephisto advised wisely. The, Rin wanted to call it sovereign, look in his eyes proved what he knew from experience. Don't drift away. Rin focused his mind on the surprisingly cold hand, not because of it's temperature but because of how lightly it touched him. Gentle might have been a part of gentleman, but he had never really known Samael to be either the former or the latter with any amount of honesty.

Rin got an idea then, and pounced on Mephisto before he was able to object, bowling him over lightly and straddling his chest. Confused and slightly concerned eyes met his own stern and jaded ones. He wasn't going to feel any better by sitting here feeling the hard concrete dig into his ass, that much was true.

"Then help me stay right here." Rin offered, his tail wiggling somewhat enticingly, Mephisto's face lighting up in realization.

"Is that a challenge?"

[honey-and-peachs]

You get sick MSBY 

Hinata Shoyo  

“(y/n) are you all right, you sound sick. Is everything okay”

“Shoyo, babe don’y worry everything is okay”

“Are you sure, do you want me to bring you some groceries, Soup or maybe some new medicine?”

Seeing, how nervous Hinata was you, deiced to let him bring you over some soup and medicine like why not.

He’s cute when hes nervous and he looks adorable, when he tries to spoon feed you soup.

You really wanted to hug him but knowing well he had a match coming up soon you, decided to wait and congratulate him  

“Shoyo”

“Yes?”

“Please, pray that I get better so I can hug you during your next game”

Miya Atsumu

“Wait your sick!”

“Yes, Why”

“I am coming over open up, I cant let my babe be all alone when there sick”

“Aww Tsumu your so sweet”

His gesture at first seemed sweet, but it turned into a disaster because he nearly burned your kitchen.

Like how the hell do you burn soup, it’s mostly liquid.

Seeing how upset, Tsumu was and how badly he wanted to cook for you. you deiced to order take out.

That way your kitchen is safe, and your safe because Atsumu can be quiet reckless sometimes”

“T-Tsumu you cant use my spoon, y'all get sick”

“Come on babe, the common cold never killed” 

Bokuto Koutarou

“How, the fuck did you got sick from the rain”

“Oh, I don’t know! Oh wait I do! I have a weak immune system you jerk!”, you yelled at Bokuto, over the phone because hes the reason your sick.

“S-Sorry about that, how about I come over”

Knowing to well, how this was gonna end you decide to contact Akasshi, because last time Bokuto took care off you.

He gave you the wrong medication, and you had to be rushed to the hospital because apparently you do not take cough syrup like that.

“Bokuto San, why don’t you put this one asside”

“Wait, why! Did I do something wrong?”

“No, (y/n) doesn't fell comfortable because off what happen last time”

“I taught mixing cough syrup, with juice will taste good”

Sakusa kiyoomi

“I am sorry. I didn't heard that right, are you sick?”

“Yes, why?”

Once Sakusa finds out your sick, he immediately hangs up, cause lets be honest the man worst fear is germs.

And getting near, them will be the end for him.

He’s not a dick he just doesn’t wants to get sick.

As an apology he will call, your fav take out restaurant, and make them deliver it to your house. 

As a bonus you two face time each other and watch movies, as much as he wants to be with you right now his fear of germs  just held him back,

When I mean hold him back, I mean him not coming close to you for at least month, expect to get some cuddles cause this man owns you it.

Tag list

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[happikattwuzheere]

was gonna try and do multiple characters in one post but nope! i have too much to say. also the pictures are all different sizes so its rly hard to get the photoset to look appealing, so we’re starting w/ blue. and also a colored pic of what adam looks like when he’s not a deer. boy’s tryin not to stand out. which goes great up for him right up until it doesn’t. lmao. i’ll talk a bit about him too w/ stuff that didnt get mentioned in the starter post about him and gansey, but this is mostly gonna be about blue. 

SO. 

there’s this fey entity, right? i don’t have a name for them, but they’re not...they didnt START the fey/human conflict, but they are benefiting from it, politically speaking? and when maura was younger, despite other witches being like “girl dont choose sides, we’re witches, we guard boundaries but we don’t choose sides,” was hotheaded and brash and went “ok but fuck that though” and one thing led to another and she ended up getting a curse on her firstborn. Oops. that’s where the kissing curse comes from, here; i’ll get into that much later in a text post probably but gansey’s survivor’s guilt thing doesnt come from him actually dying in this au it’s from something Else, but blue will still kill him if she kisses him, just, for different reasons, it’s an actual curse this time and not something to do with the nature of who they both are. 

her father’s still a tree light, but like, she actually knows that from the outset? because. they live in cabeswater. the tree lights are all around and accept her as one of their own even if she can’t turn into a tree, and as a result of that, she’s got some cool perks. 

a) extremely resistant and/or outright immune to a Lot of fey bullshit 

b) still boosts psychic energies and magical powers like in canon

c) the absolute safest person to be traveling in cabeswater ever, because the forest itself loves her, and also if you mess with her within the borders of cabeswater a bunch of tree lights will physically manifest and be like “hey buddy wanna think twice about that”

but she can’t use magic herself, still, which actually works in the favor of herself and the coven--witchcraft is in a sort of weird spot, culturally, where it’s both feared and often hated, but also understood to at times be necessary, especially by rural peoples like those of the village. im taking a very discworld spin on the witchcraft, because i love discworld and you can’t stop me, and so the attitude is, like. its frightening ancient magic and the church hates it but when there’s an emergency and someone’s on the border between life and death, or something is trying to pass into this world from another, etc etc etc, then you gotta suck it up and call on a witch because they’re the only ones who can deal with those things. so. the coven is tolerated, both because it’s too big and powerful to actually fight but also because it’s extremely needed when you live in a village right next door to fey lands. you NEED someone watching the border. however that doesn’t mean anyone wants to be seen publicly talking to a witch--but blue’s not a witch. she’s a witch’s daughter, but she’s not a witch herself, which is a step removed enough that she can go into town and run errands and also people will maybe pull her discretely aside and tell her if something’s coming up that the coven should know about, and it all works very neatly with her acting as a sort of liaison. very important role she plays, which is why gansey tries talking to her after his initial attempt to speak with the coven directly fails. 

speaking of the coven itself: i’ve been calling it the fox way coven, even tho it probably wouldn’t be called that because there’s no road called fox way that the coven is built on, it’s a big magic house out in the fairy forest, BUT they do have a fox theme because i love foxes and this is a gift i have been given. if people have familiars in this coven, they’re foxes rather than cats, because as wonderful as cats are u cant have them and foxes in the same house that will go bad. but also there’s a v small number of them, like maybe three or four total out of the much higher number of women living there, who are fey blooded like adam, but who become foxes rather than adam’s deer. persephone is one of these! (it’s worth noting the reason why they become the same animal is because of a combination of coincidence, intentional theming, and mostly just because like, virtually all of the residents there aside from persephone are related to either maura or calla) 

anyway the point is, because of this, blue’d seen enough feyblood transformations that when, one day when she was 9 or 10, on a visit to town, she saw the most distressed, disoriented fawn wobbling around frantically and was able to very quickly recognize that that was, in fact, a person who had probably turned into a deer for the first time, and responded by very calmly informing him that she knew who could help and leading him home. this is where those last two pictures come from, and how adam’s apprenticeship started. 

like, there was a lot of arguing from the witches immediately--of course we’re going to teach him how to become human again but we aren’t really going to take him on in the coven are we? he’s a boy, he’s some local kid we know nothing about, what happened to keeping it in the family, he’s the wrong animal and we’ve got a whole thing going on--at which point persephone parted everyone like the red sea, took one look at adam, went “mine now” and despite a lot of grumbling that was the end of it. she took him on a bit of a tour of cabeswater a few days later, after he’d had time to think it over, and he felt so drawn to the forest that he agreed to the apprenticeship.

so he’s technically persephone’s apprentice but like in actual practice he’s being taught by the entire coven lmao, ANYWAY

adam being adam also had a backup plan for trying to get out of the village--even at ten he figured witchcraft might be a first way out of there, he was already thinking about it, but by thirteen when the good ole abuse started (and at which point the last whispers of dissent died out very quickly amongst the coven, nope, adam is one of us now, do you want us to very threateningly hang out in your front yard sometime because we can do that--what do you mean no, let us do this,) he was also like. i dont think this is a guarantee of getting out of here i need a second job. and the thing is, as was mentioned in the original post, the fey blood also means adam’s got issues with iron; it’ll poison him if he’s stabbed with it but it also reacts to his skin touching it like a hot stove. he’s fine if there’s a layer between his skin and the iron, but if he touches it directly, it’s Bad. so ofc this headstrong idiot takes an open spot a t a metalworker’s in the village because adam is the king of making bad decisions. the witches have a betting pool on how long it’ll take him to out himself. “its fine i’ll wear gloves,” he says. “it’s the perfect disguise no one will expect someone with fey connections to work near so much iron,” he says. “i have everything perfectly under control,” he says.

anyway he totally forgets to wear gloves before grabbing an iron tool while his dad and his boss are both in the store and in clear view of him and that’s why he was getting chased by hunters when gansey rescued him 

also he and blue tried dating when they were like 13-14 and it ended about as badly as in canon and they made up later and by the time the story starts they’ve settled into very much being weird siblings. adam starts hanging out with gansey initially to try and basically spy on him, figure out why he’s here, but ends up rly liking the guy and deciding his reasons are sincerely to try and help people, and he tells this to blue who starts immediately accusing him of having a crush on the lordling and being a class traitor, because she does NOT like gansey at this point and really the nobility all prefer wizards to witches which is a stupid idiot decision and frankly the fact that this lordling is apparently enamored by some random deer is hilarious to her, but even moreso is the fact that adam actually defends the lordling to her, like, “wow adam its hilarious that the lordling’s friend thinks that you have charmed the lordling because from my perspective it looks the other way around” “shut uuuup you’re not listening im serious, like, yeah ok he put his foot in his mouth really hard when he talked to you but im telling you i dont think the whole i-wanna-understand thing is an act” “idk if i can trust you through those rose tinted glasses buddy. tell me again about that time he called you princely?” “oh my god” 

this is turning into rambling but. thats the gist of the witches and blue esp thank u for coming if u made it this far here’s a bonus persephone fox 

[shuatoyou]

one last summer - l.c

[day 38 of a tct summer collection]

✗ pairing; chan x reader

✗ genre; fluffy fluff and angsty angst :p

✗ wc; 3900

✗ summary; each day is spent counting down until the end of summer, you do this every year but this time around, its harder to watch the days go down knowing once the count hits zero, its time for him to go.

✗ song; pink skies by LANY <3 

✗ a/n; i cant believe this is my longest fic yet ?? i hope u guys like it !! i chose to write for chan kinda on a whim bcos i dont do that a lot and he is just the best angel ... also i thought i should involve a little bit of my signature angst for my first writing collab with my best friends if u wanna see amazing stuff click below to travel to . . .

A TCT SUMMER COLLECTION *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the alarm ringing at a time you would never find yourself awake during summer, it could only mean you had an important day to look forward to.

today was the beginning of the countdown to the last day of the last summer you had together.

“chan, wake up,” you mumble sleepily at the boy, who was in a deep sleep at the foot of your bed. he scrambled about for a second before going completely still. of course he was back asleep.

you groan at the sight of him cuddling into the blanket, even more in spite of your attempt to wake yourself up and him at the same time. although, it was cuter than you wanted to admit. perhaps your heart went slightly crazy... but that was another issue for another day. or never.

“fine don’t wake up loser, i’ll eat pancakes on my own.”

hearing that, he jumps straight up “i don’t think so.” he glares at you while you sit under the warm blankets amused at his reaction.. he sighs in defeat once he realises it was all a play for him to wake up. of course you wouldn’t indulge in a beautiful breakfast without him.

morning flies by, and before you know it noon comes around. the clock reads three pm and you’re both sprawled over the couch binging ‘a silent voice’ for the nth time. the entire movie makes you sad but after watching it so many times you become immune to the tears.

chan on the other hand, doesn't. like always he finds himself getting teary at the same scenes every time. perhaps that was one of the qualities you adored in him: he never hid how he felt even if he hated the teasing that came with it.

after deciding on a whim you didn’t want to waste the day inside, you switched off the tv and threw a box of tissues at the emotional boy.

“what was that for?” he whines, throwing the tissue box off him.

“wipe your tears. i wanna go out,” you smile cheekily before skipping off to get your shoes on, shortly followed by chan.

“we’re going out in sweats?” he questions, pointing at the lazy attire you had both become accustomed to everytime you were together.

you shrug, grabbing the keys off it’s special hanger. special because it was made by chan himself when you were both in the second grade and making matching key hangers for each other's houses was sentimental you could say. or as your parents said.

when you were both younger, they were convinced you two would grow up together and maybe get married in the future. the two of you became inseparable over a short amount of time - all because of the one day he offered you his juice carton after yours had been stolen by the class bully in the first grade. that was almost twelve years ago now and that same boy was still standing in front of you.

“what are you thinking about?” chan nudges you as the two of you walk down the same road to your usual frozen yoghurt place.

“just some stuff,” you shrug.

“like?”

“pre-school.”

he hums in response, and you take this as an indication to go on.

“our parents really dealt with our crazy friendship the daily playdates... imagine if we ended up how they wanted us to.” you smile fondly, the thought of it all was enough to plaster an expression on your face.

“don’t remind me, they would’ve married us the moment we turned 18 if we left it up to them.” he chuckles. “they think we were meant together”

“do you?” you retort.

“do i what?”

“think that?” you ask not facing him. you would rather not have him fully see the crimson building up on your cheeks.

“i don’t know, i guess. we've been friends for so long, i've never thought about it.”

you nod understandingly and walk the rest of the way in silence, a comfortable one at that. there was never anything else when the two of you were together.

maybe that’s why you didn’t want to let go yet.

“BEACH DAY!”

“ugh, do you seriously have to scream that down the entire hallway, y/n?”

“yes because it’s beach day!” you yell one more time, forcing a reaction out of him but your amusement quickly dies down after feeling the soft impact of your pillow in your face.

“heh”

chan proudly walks out the room leaving you dumbfounded but you quickly scramble back onto your feet and chase after the boy jumping on his back earning a grunt from the much taller male.

“you suck.” he groans

“be careful you are in my territory little boy” you snicker signalling to your house which had been the location of the endless sleepovers for the summer holidays.

“speaking of, i really should go back home and pick up some more of my stuff before we leave for the beach.” he mentions as he lets you down from his back and the two of you take your seats by the kitchen island.

“oh that’s fine, want me to come with you? i miss your mom anyways.”

“don’t you have your own beach bag to pack?” he asks, grabbing a plate which mimics his actions and starts piling up your plate with his favourite breakfast stuff before passing it over to him.

“i can do it later” you smile now making your own breakfast plate. chan looks down hesitating with it.

“nah it’s okay, i’ll be back quick anyways” he mumbles, picking at the food making you lift a brow without saying anything as you delve into your own happily.

he didn't want to upset you but the small little things you had been doing for him had been harder to let go of as time went by.

however it's not long before breakfast is over and chan waves a quick goodbye before leaving for his own home for the first time in ages. it was quite normal for the two of you to spend a large amount of time at one and others houses both families gave up in trying to send you two back to your respectable homes.

meanwhile you spent the time he was gone packing your own beach bag consisting of the usual tower, sunscreen and one of the disposable cameras you bought for summer memories documenting. chan had laughed at the big box that arrived at your house a month ago especially when you told him it was a box of eight disposable cameras.

“you have your phone plus a polaroid camera, why do you need disposable ones?” he asks curiously prodding at the box.

“these ones come out cuter don’t judge. plus i’ll give you one or two that we use during the many adventures for you to process and hang up the pictures in your new room” you look up at the boy hopefully as he sighs in defeat.

giving yourself a little round of applause you open up the box and immediately grab one of the cameras pulling chan closer to get a selfie.

“this one is to mark the start of our summer adventures documented by a disposable camera.”

shaking your head you pull yourself out of your daze right on time as the doorbell rings. you only assume it’s chan and you’re right as you open up the door to the boy with his hands filled.

you take one of the bags from his hand letting him into the house.

“what’s all this?” you ask curiously trying to look at the bags as best as you could through the little openings.

“extra clothes, stuff for the beach and snacks my dad brought back from japan for you. he said he forgot to give them the last time”

excitedly you rush over to the bag he held up to you, japanese snacks were one of your favourite and chan's father had made it a regular occurrence to always bring you back some after his long work trips away in osaka.

which was where the family would be moving by the end of summer hence why the two of you spent each day doing something new counting down the days till the moment he stepped onto a plane without you.

noticing the sad look on your face while you looked at the snacks longingly chan threw an arm around your shoulders.

“what’s with the look? come on we’ve got waves to catch y/n”

“i'm gonna miss you” you pout and his gaze softens pulling you away from the bags and into his embrace allowing you to relax in his arms for a bit. he thought this would happen one way or another but he only expected it when it was the last day.

“are you ready to go?” he whispers while rubbing your back and you almost wanted to say no just to be able to stay like this a little longer but nevertheless you pulled a way nodding beginning to walk over to the bags so you could put them away into the car.

the drive to the beach was only peaceful, which was normal when it came to you two. just endless music and comfortable silence but you knew the tension in the air would not decrease anytime soon due to the nature of this entire summer.

“will we still talk when you leave?” you blurt out, failing to face the boy currently sat in the driver's seat.

“why the sudden question?” his face evidently changed to the questioning look he’s always had when he was confused about something.

you shrug and he doesn’t question furthermore which you appreciated because it would’ve been tough having to explain the endless worries in your mind.

reaching forward for his phone you scroll through his playlists until you find the one song that the two of you often found comfort in when together or apart.

“we have seriously got to get over this song”

‘shut up, i love you’

you laugh at his statement but that doesnt stop the two of you from singing along to the lyrics like it was your own song. you occasionally turned to the other watching him nod along to the song, your heart was in pain. how could you let go of him so soon?

‘you're my best friend’

another morning, another day crossed off till chan had to leave by the end of summer. the thought of him leaving soon made your stomach churn to the point you wanted to scream. so many unexplained feelings and yet you had to act like everything was okay and making the last few memories this summer would be nothing. you had no energy to get out of bed and do anything today even if you knew that the day would just go to waste.

“so what are we doing today? making more memories?” chan asked right on point with your thoughts almost teasingly.

“you ask that as if i have no reason to do this.” you mumble turning away from the boy and nuzzling further into your blanket.

“there's still time before i leave y/n”

“not enough though, chan.” you finally turn back to him, frustrated that he couldn't understand why you were so keen on spending time with him.

“yeah but i don't want to do all this just for the sake of time, i want to do it because we both love spending time together. don't we?”

you nodded pitifully, struggling with the real reason why it was harder to get through summer. your feelings were a factor in it all but you couldn't find it in you to tell him.

“can we just spend today at yours?” you asked softly, scared if you raised your tone it might betray you somehow.

this time it was his turn to nod before moving closer to you, unsure of what he was going to do. you looked up at the boy who only brought you into his embrace once again, causing your heart to do countless backflips.

“you’ve been giving me a lot of hugs recently.”

“mind your own business”

you giggle, letting your breathing steady at the pace of his. your mind drifts to the fact somehow you only felt this way when he was the cause of it.

he couldn't help but smile to himself when you let go in his arms, allowing him to hold you, physical affection was never a common thing in your friendship.

‘i think our hearts are starting to show’

“let's get ready to leave, hm?” he spoke, almost in a whisper as you pulled away and met his eyes. they had that usual sparkle in them. the one you adored.

his house, you were always warmly welcomed by mrs lee who treated you like her own child, perhaps that's why you and chan’s friendship was able to last as long as it had, your families ordered each other as much as the two friends did.

“i was wondering when he would bring you around again, how’s summer been so far?” his mom asked as you took your seat on one of the island chairs like you usually would while chan went to grab a bottle of water for you and him.

“it's been okay” you smiled at the woman now sitting across from you with a kind smile waiting for you to continue. “we’ve just been chilling you know how it is.”

“has he confessed his undying love for you yet?”

“mom! what the hell?” chan exclaims in shock trying not to choke on his sip of water and you sit there stunned.

“i'm joking sweetheart” she reassures the two of you noticing the red on either of your faces, giving you a knowing smile before turning away which lingers on your mind slightly longer than you would have wanted.

it takes a moment for chan to calm down and when he does he drags you out of the kitchen to his game room hoping to get away from his mother's endless teasing.

“god, i'm sorry i hate when she does this.” he runs a hand through his hair expressing his frustration and you chuckle nervously.

“does she say this stuff all the time?” you wonder, taking your seat on chan’s gaming chair making him sit on the bean bags on the floor. but he doesn't seem to pay any attention to it while he recovers from the past events.

“sometimes, it's always stuff like when am i going to ask you out or confess or something crazy you know?” he explains, fanning himself.

something crazy… the words stung momentarily as you thought about anything happening between you guys would be crazy to him. nothing would happen anyways, not now.

he shakes his head while walking over to plug in his monitor, “my mom truly believes we’ll end up dating.” he laughs to himself but you only go red at his statement, turning around on the gaming chair dangling your legs trying to distract yourself.

he frowns at the way you turn around but does not question it any further, instead, he picks up two of his game controllers and puts one in front of you before settling back down into the beanbag.

“what are we playing?” you ask finally turning back around

“mario kart?” he states more like a question though and you agree, leaving the gaming chair to sit beside him on one of the other beanbags.

you couldn't help but think how much you were going to miss this, zoning out as you think of the last time you two played.

“if i win, you have to fulfil one of my wishes, and if you win then… whatever you want.” chan writes it all down on paper kind of like a mock contract and you laugh as he slides it over to you to sign.

“please don't wish for anything crazy or expensive” you beg jokingly.

the only response you get from the boy is a simple wink which directly sends the butterflies into your stomach like every other time he does something.

you guys start your game and immediately the tension rises as the two of you compete for first class, occasionally nudging each other to throw the other off.

“i am going to win this, i promise you.”

your words lose all meaning as the big number two appears beside your character and you huff, mad at the fact you lost to chan once again who had managed to secure first place. it was frustrating how good the boy was at this game.

“what was that?” he lifted his hand to cup his ear teasingly waiting for you to repeat your previous statement.

you shove him away from you and cross your arms still salty at the loss.

“i think i choose to use my wish now.” he looked at you now.

“fine, what is it lee chan?” you kept your arms crossed as you also turned your body to face him.

“i’d like a kiss.”

you never expected to kiss him that night, and even if it didn't make things too awkward afterwards it only made you sure of the feelings that grew for the boy.

“wanna make a bet if one of us wins?”

you look at the boy stunned at his suggestion.

“did you forget what happened last time?” you ask fiddling with your fingers.

“yeah we kissed, no big deal right?” he turned away to turn on the game and you sat with your face evident with disbelief.

“really? no big deal?”

“huh?” he looks at you, puzzled.

“friends dont just kiss…” you try your best to explain but it felt like it was going over his head from the way he looked at you with so much confusion.

standing up, you unwantedly raise your voice “all summer you keep filling your head up with these things like we can never date and all of that rubbish after we literally kissed not so long ago, does that not mean anything to you?”

“it wouldn't matter anyways, i'm leaving. i’ll be gone soon.”

“that doesn't mean we won't stop talking. you said so yourself.” you fretted with a pleading look.

he looks at you saying nothing and you can only scoff feeling all the blood rush up to your head in anger before opening the door to leave. staying would only make things worse and you knew he wouldn't try and resolve anything if you did.

“where are you going?” he calls out as you’re about to go down the stairs with tears of frustration filling up your eyes.

turning around, you respond quietly to the boy, “is that all you’re going to ask?”

“what do you want me to say, y/n?”

you laugh in disbelief and struggle to keep yourself from choking out any tears, “i’ll give you time to think about it.”

with that you make sure to compose yourself enough to wave at mrs lee with a big smile by the time you’re down the stairs and she responds with a pitiful one, she most likely had heard you both. letting yourself out, you also let out the breath you’d been holding, leaving your childhood best friend all alone for the first time this summer.

walking home all alone was the worst part because your overwhelming emotions would not stay inside of you causing you to spill every sadness filled tear onto the pavements you walked on.

you made your way inside your house and without greeting your parents you locked yourself away to wallow in your sorrows for that entire weekend occasionally letting your mom in to comfort you without telling her the reason to your sadness unaware that at one point your parents worriedly notified chan you weren't feeling good sometime, it was only till you heard your mom softly knock on your door to tell you the said boy was waiting for you downstairs.

your heart wouldn't quit racing in your chest as you opened the door to her soft eyes begging you to talk to him after realising whatever happened was something to do with him. so you follow her downstairs, making your way into the living room where chan was sitting uncomfortably on the couch hoping for you to show yourself. you walked as slowly and quietly as you could trying not to notify him of your presence but that didn't work when you heard his voice call out your name making you shut your eyes tight in pain.

“i know you’re there y/n please talk to me”

freezing on the spot you decided not to go further into the room in fear of bursting into a sob at the sight of him. so you sit on the floor behind the wall separating you two.

“im listening.” you call out as quietly as possible.

“i'm assuming you’re not going to come in, that's okay.” he nods to particularly no one, perhaps himself.

it was silent as chan inhaled deeply, thinking about how what he was going to say would change things.

the atmosphere got more awkward by the second which was a new feeling for the both of you, never once had there been such a moment together.

“i'm sorry”

“i’m sorry we never sat down to talk about our feelings much lately. i feel like everythings been about me and the fact i'm…” he stopped mid sentence he was hesitating although it was inevitable one way or another you would be hearing this out loud again.

“i'm leaving y/n and i don't want to leave without telling you that you do mean more to me than just a best friend.”

your eyes widened in shock as you stood up hoping to run away from this situation but chan was one step ahead of you as he held onto your wrist, a gentle but burning touch that pulled you back towards him.

“maybe i'm too late but i'd like you to know later than never. so please say something?” he pleads, searching your eyes for some sort of a non verbal answer while waiting for you to speak up.

“you’re leaving next week… good luck.” you whisper, straining your voice enough so it wouldn't break. “im sorry too.” you pull out from his grip and walk off to your room without making eye contact with your mom who stood by the staircase with a pitiful look, all meant for you and the boy you left standing alone in your own house.

and when he left you knew that was the last time you’d see him.

“chan? you’re home quite early. how was y/n’s?”

he looked at his dad with a blank expression and shrugged his shoulders, his mom hadn't told him she saw y/n leave upset.

“it's going to be tough but i hope you’re both ready to say your goodbyes soon,” he smiled, giving his son a pat on the back.

if only it was like that and if only he could go back to reverse all the stupid things he said.

the blank feeling burdened you also as you caught a glimpse of the photos you had already gotten processed from your disposable camera.

letting go now would make it easier for the two of you when the time came though in your heart he would still be the most important person for a while until he wasn't. maybe in another world something would be different so the two of you wouldn't be where you are right now, instead in a much happier place.

perhaps in that happier place you would’ve said goodbye…

[invaderdoom78]

New Moon Night part 2

“So what’s with all of the guns on the wall in the basement?” Bella asked as they sat down to eat the pizza Peter had ordered for them

“Oh, uh, I hunt vampires”

“Really?” Bella asked

“For a few years now. It’s actually how I met Aro”

“So” Bella started taking a bite of her pizza “is it hard killing vampires?”

“It varies from vampire to vampire,” Peter said “but if I get them in the heart right away with my steak gun that normally takes them out”

“Really?” Bella asked raising an eyebrow “Edward told me that vampires can only be killed by dismemberment and setting their bodies on fire”

“That’s true for some of them but if you use something that’s got witch's magic on it then it’ll kill them regardless of their, I guess, species. I could teach you how to shoot a gun if you want”

“...Yes,” Bella said, well aware that Victoria was still a potential threat to her life “uh, where should we go shoot?”

“There’s a spot out in the desert,” Peter said

“Is that legal?” Bella asked

“No idea,” Peter said taking a drink from his soda “but I’m not the only one who uses the spot”

“Ok,” Bella said ignoring the image of Edward that appeared, telling her not to do it

“You wanna pick out the gun?”

“Sure!”

With their lunch finished the two made their way back down to the basement so Bella could pick out her gun. Now Peter didn’t have the most impressive collection of firearms, a couple of shotguns, a revolver, his steak gun, and a wrangler and because of the small selection he was fully expecting Bella to choose the shotgun, especially since it was the best choice when dealing with vampires, but that wasn’t what she picked.

“Where are you two going?” Aro asked eyeing Peter as he put his shotgun and the wrangler Bella had picked out into their carrying cases

“Out to the desert to shoot some guns,” Peter said

“Did you put on sunscreen?” Aro asked already knowing the answer

“No” Peter scoffed

“Do you remember what happened last time?”

Peter did, he’d taken the twins out to shoot as well and when they got back home almost his entire face was burnt and the twins kept insisting on poking at it until it started peeling.

“It’ll be fine”

“No,” Aro said firmly

“...Fine” Peter gave in after a brief staredown with the vampire, walking over to an end table grabbing two bottles of sunscreen out of the drawer “here Bella” he handed her the smaller one

“Thanks”

Walking over to the hall mirror Bella stood in front of it as she put on the sunscreen, watching as Aro tried to help Peter put the sunscreen on his face while the hunter insisted that he could do it himself.

“There,” Peter asked once Aro was done “you happy now?”

“Very,” Aro said smiling

Turning around Bella held out the bottle of sunscreen she’d been holding and was about to set it onto the coffee table, but Aro stopped her.

“Hold on a minute, dear,” Aro said reaching out to wipe in the small amount of sunscreen she’d missed on her cheek, rubbing it in the rest of the way with a gentleness that she never expected from someone like him

Once they reached the spot in the desert Peter realized that he didn’t have any protective wear for Bella to use, so they had to improvise with a pair of Aro’s big sunglasses to protect her eyes as the vampire covered her ears with his hands and just like he did with Jane, Peter showed the young woman how to hold the Wrangler and where to position her feet before she shot at the five soda cans he’d set up; managing to nick all of them on the side.

“You’re a very good shot, dear,” Aro said resting his hand on her shoulders as Peter took the rest of them out with his shotgun

“My dad used to teach me how to shoot his gun a long time ago, but my mom found out and told him to stop”

“Did he teach you anything else?” Aro asked

“You mean like self-defense?” Bella asked setting down her gun “not really”

“Then allow me to show you,” Aro said

The vampire showed her the basics of self-defense poses, having talked Peter into being the practice dummy.

“Good” Aro praised as Bella delivered an elbow strike to Peters jaw, having enough self-control to stop herself from actually hitting her new uncle

Despite how quickly Bella was picking up on the techniques, it was quickly becoming apparent that training out in the middle of the desert probably wasn’t the best idea as it didn’t take much longer after that for Peter and Bella to become coated in sweat, so much so that it had almost completely soaked through their clothing. It was at this point that Peter decided that they should go home and get changed into something that wasn’t going to stick to their skin, both Peter and Bella hopping into the shower when they got home. Stepping out of the bathroom Peter dried his hair off with a towel as Aro sat on the edge of the bed running a brush through his long hair.

“It seems like Bella has settled in rather well,” Aro said

“Yeah,” Peter said tossing the towel at the hamper by his closet door

“I, overheard the conversation you and Bella had earlier,” Aro said as Peter crawled onto their bed

“I figured you did,” Peter said crawling up behind Aro, peppering the vampire's shoulder and the side of his neck with kisses

“We have laws that have been put into place solely to keep the existence of our kind a secret and it clearly states that vampires are not supposed to let themselves be known to humans”

“So should I be worried?

“If you hadn’t befriended Elizabeth then yes. Being what she is, the people that are associated with her and her family have immunity to our laws. Lest we risk facing a half-demon's wrath”

“Is Bella in danger then?” Peter asked resting his chin on the vampire's shoulder

“That depends,” Aro said taking hold of Peters wrists wrapping his human's arms around his waist leaning back into the embrace

“On what?”

“Whether or not the Cullens have any enemies”

“What about your lot?”

“Well if one of my guards discovers her she will be brought back to Volterra for a trial to determine whether or not she will be turned or executed” he felt Peter tense up behind him “don’t worry darling if it ever does come to that I will make sure that her life is spared and that she has a home in the castle”

“It's a good thing she wants to be turned then”  

“You know, you really are so much more caring than you want people to believe” Aro hummed “it's rather sweet actually; you treating Jane and Alec as if they were your own, helping Amy through getting the polluted blood out of her, reassuring your friend Charley that she would be safe. It’s a good thing I was able to snatch you up when I did”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, darling” Aro said nuzzling Peters cheek “just thinking”

Aro untangled himself from Peter's arms and got off the bed.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked reaching out for the vampire

“The day is still young,” Aro said softly, placing a kiss on Peter's forehead knowing what he wanted

Flopping back onto the bed Peter watched Aro walk out of the room. Groaning Peter forced himself to get off the bed and get dressed before going out to the living room where he saw Bella and Aro sitting on the couch together, the vampire brushing her semi-dry hair. Sitting in front of them was the chest he kept all of his movies in, Bella looking through his collection.

“You have any preferences?” Peter asked taking a seat on the couch with them

“I like Stephen King stuff”

“I have Stephen King, but Lizzy has The Shining and all the IT movies so I’d need to get them from her” Peter said pulling out his phone so he could ask her for the movies

“Oh” Bella started but was interrupted by the front door opening and Lizzy stepping through, holding the DVDs “you don…”

“Here,” Lizzy said tossing the cases to Peter 

“Thanks, bitch” Peter said, catching them noticing how Lizzy and Bella were kinda staring at each other “that’s Bella. Bella this is Lizzy”

“Hi,” Bella said

“What’re the kids doing tomorrow?” Peter asked

“I think they’re all off,” Lizzy said, still looking at Bella like she was trying to piece some things together “why?”

“I’m trying to help Bella find a hobby”

“Cool,” Lizzy said giving Aro a two-finger salute before she left

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Aro said standing up

“Oh come on,” Peter said, grabbing the vampire's sleeve “at least watch The Shining or Misery with us. I’m sure you’ll like them”

“Alright” Aro sighed

“I’ll make some popcorn then,” Peter said standing up walking back to the kitchen, waiting for the popcorn to pop when Lizzy texted him

                                           Demon Bitch (Lizzy)

So has Bella shown any interest in vampires?

                                                        Yeah she said she wants to be turned

                                              And Aro told me he cant see her thoughts

That makes sense. 

One of her great grandparents was either a vampire themselves or one of their parents was a vampire so that’s why she can use her mental ability as a human and why she’s so keen on being turned. The vampire part of her DNA is calling out because of how close she’s become to, who I’m assuming are the Cullens as they’re the only coven I’m aware of that live up in that area of the US. It’ll probably also make the transition and blood lust easier.

                                                                    You gotta be fucking kidding me

No

                               The fuck am I supposed to do with that information

Just thought I’d let you know.

🍑💨

“Ok,” Peter said, slipping the phone back into his pocket “Lizzy’s sending me farts again!”

“You are the one that decided to befriend her” Aro called back from the couch

“You say that like it’s my fault”

“Would you rather her come and do it in the house?”

“No,” Peter said walking back into the living room with popcorn

Aro only stuck around long enough to watch Misery as while he did agree that it was a good adaptation and movie he still preferred the books. It was about midnight when Aro noticed that Peter hadn’t come back to bed yet, so he got up and walked out to the living room, spotting  Peter and Bella both asleep on the couch, Peter slumped back into it, head tilted back, Bella slumped against his side.

“Oh” Aro chuckled quietly approaching the piece of furniture

Picking up the remote Aro turned off the TV before gently lifting Bella off of the couch making sure not to wake either as he moved the young woman to her temporary room, tucking her under the covers before back out and doing the same for Peter. The next morning Bella woke up more confused than Peter had, as he was used to it at this point, wondering how she’d ended up in bed when she remembered falling asleep on the couch. Kicking off the blankets Bella changed into her clothes and went out into the kitchen, looking through the fridge to see if she could find anything that she could make for breakfast when Peter came out of his room wearing his sleep pants.

“Morning” Peter yawned getting to work making himself some coffee

“Morning” Bella said, grabbing a carton of eggs “where’s Aro?”

“Taking a shower,” Peter said watching as Bella started cooking some eggs for them 

Taking a seat at the counter Peter pulled out his phone, scrolling through it as he waited for the eggs to finish cooking when Aro came out of the bedroom, fully dressed and looking like he was ready to go traveling.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked, eyeing the vampire 

“I have to go back to Italy” Aro sighed grabbing his cloak out of the closet by the door

“For how long?”

“Hopefully not long” Aro said placing one hand on his humans cheek placing a kiss on the other before walking over to Bella “it was wonderful meeting you” he hugged her “take care and maybe we’ll meet again”

“Maybe” Bella said, feeling a bit saddened that the vampire was leaving so early as despite Edwards warnings about him she had grown to enjoy the vampires company

Giving Peter one more kiss Aro stepped out of the house so he could head off for Italy.

“So do you wanna go over to Lizzy’s today?” Peter asked pouring himself another cup of coffee 

“Sure” Bella said as Peter grabbed a key out of the bowl by the front door 

Aro called several hours after Bella had left.

“Hey” Peter said, answering his phone as he slouched on the couch watching his T.V. “how was the flight?”

“Fine” Aro sighed “though I don’t see why I was needed. This was a simple matter. How is Bella doing?”

“She’s out with Michael and the others” 

“Oh good” Aro said, the smile obvious in his voice, “is she getting along with them?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t heard from her since she left” Peter said noticing Bella as she stepped into the house out of the corner of his eye “hey I gotta go Bella just came back”

“Alright, good bye, darling”

“Bye” Peter said, looking at the fading cut on Bella’s cheek “the hell happened?”

“I killed a ghoul and then Eleanor made us dinner. Here” Bella said handing Peter a tupperware container “she told me to give this to you” 

“Cool” Peter said taking the container 

“What have you been doing?” Alice demanded storming into the living room from the basement door “why haven’t I been able to see you and then all of a sudden I see you being attacked by that thing and now Edward thinks you’re dead!” 

“Who the fuck are you and how the fuck did you get into my house!” Peter demanded, mentally going over where he’d hidden the guns on this level of the house, moving so that he was between Bella and Alice 

“Alice?” Bella asked confused “what are you doing here?���

“Edwards going to the Volturi!” Alice said, eyebrows furrowed “he wants to die too” 

“Realy?” Peter asked looking unamused “he breaks up with her the way he did and his first thought when he thinks she’s dead is to kill himself not, oh I don’t know, call Charlie and ask about it or even come back to investigate it himself?”

“Apparently” Alice shrugged “but we don’t have time to think about it!” Edward plans on revealing himself so the Volturi will kill him”

“Alright” Bella sighed “I’ll help”

“Wot?” Peter asked looking at Bella in disbelief 

“Can you wait for me out in the car” Bella said to Alice who did what she was asked 

“Ok I get it” Peter said, placing his hands on Bella's shoulders “I get it, but for the love of God don’t take him back. If he really does want to get back together with you make him work for it” he pulled her into a hug “and be careful. I have no idea what might happen over there and Aro can only do so much”

“I will”

“Call me when you get there” 

“Ok” Bella said before hurrying out of the house

Bella P.O.V.

I can do this. I thought to myself as Alice tore out of Peters driveway. I can face Edward again and even if something does happen I have Peter to turn to, he knew what I had going through and I had new friends now, ones that I didn’t have to lie to about Edward or werewolves or anything that has happened to me since I got to Forks. And if worse did come I had two options one, I could agree to be turned and live in Voltera with Aro or I could tell them about Lizzy and maybe that would give me some type of immunity, for now, but that option could also bring up some issues with Edward and his family especially considering how hostile the relationship between werewolves and vampires is, I can only imagine that it might be the same with witches and demons and that could create a whole other layer of problems. Either way the next few hours would definitely prove to be interesting.

[sourdough-morbread]

Morgana 👀

ok so i know you left this ask ages ago and this is like so fucking long i am so sorry.

but i just... i have a lot of thoughts on morgana. *hides pages of notes made for two big morgana-centric WIPs*

First impression: this is what went through my mind in my first watch through

s1: i fell for morgana really quickly. i was like. YES she has MAGIC and she tells off uther and arthur. 

s2: i still liked her but i getting concerned about the direction the writers were pulling her character in season 2. i was quite disappointed in the way her turn to evil was written. like she was good then barely on screen and very damsel-in-distressy for some reason. and then she became evil!morgana with zero explanation and zero reluctance. didnt really make sense to me.

s3: i enjoyed her as a villain in, but at that point she was a completely different character in my eyes. not in the old character new instalment but in a entirely different person was put inside her. 

s4: she was so boring and one dimetional. just. meh. she barely felt like a threat.. 

s5: i wasnt even paying attention to her.  she has become the random conflict generator the writers rather than a character. so i just didnt care. also i skipped a few eps in my first go so. like dark tower bc i didnt want to see gwen hurt. so i missed out on the emotional impact of that.

Impression now: after rewatching i can see her character arc a lot better. i still think her arc wasnt well done. but thats because the execution was lacking, rather than the trajectory of her character not making sense. because it actually makes a lot of sense.

like in season 1, she is basically immune. she is caught aiding mordred and yet she can get away with uther yelling at her and have it all be forgotten with an apology. meanwhile tom is executed for being seen with a sorcerer. when she wants to kill uther, i dont think she thinks she will be caught. nobody would ever dare accuse morgana and arthur would never suspect it. 

then she discovers she has magic herself and all of that immunity is gone. and without that safety net she becomes willing to endanger so many people, including the allies of magic in camelot. you know, people she would be screaming at the defence of previously.  

her in 1x10 is a small glimpse of what she could have been. a force for good. someone willing to actually fight against what uther and rulers like him were doing. and i would have loved to see that. 

but thats not what the writers chose. instead she regains her footing in hatred and blaming everyone for the fear she felt of death and disgust she felt of herself once she became one of those she defended but saw as beneath her none the less. 

and i will never not be salty about how they skipped over her turning evil and how flat she became. like. let me have a deeply evil terrifying witch damn it! 

i think what makes her terrifying is that she doesnt want power. not really. she wants revenge. she wants to take everything arthur cares about. she wants the throne because arthur doesn't get to have it. she wants camelot to kill its people. she doesnt care about power beyond how much pain she can cause with it. and thats so terrifying. enemy with no goal but to cause you pain. and knows all your weaknesses and can fool the people you have wronged to think she is fighting for their salvation. how do you even fight that? 

idk i just think it was underutilised. again she was just a conflict generator the writers used until the final battle. even then mordred was more significant than morgana. 

Favorite moment: just her in the entirety of beginning of the end. if i had to pick one moment it would be her goading arthur to look behind the curtain. its just so good.

Idea for a story: again... the WIPs. but one i havent written yet.

i had one au where arthur found out about her magic on accident and like. it kicked off a whole plot of her learning magic, and arthur finally facing how terrible uther is and getting his shit together. its not a very detailed idea. morgause would probably use this opportunity to manipulate arhtur. agravain would proably be not evil, tho still a spineless slimy noble. idk.

Unpopular opinion: this is not going to be a surprise to people who know me, but i dislike pretty much all of the discussion ive seen about 2x03. 

fandom seems to be stuck on this dichotomy of either merlin should have told her about his magic and by not doing so he betrayed her— he did not. merlin tried to help her at the risk of his own life. go watch 2x03 again. or merlin reacted perfectly— also he did not. even while helping her, he still refused to acknowledge her magic.

in a situation where something invisible about you can get you killed, subtle word choices matter. merlins words, him continuing to say he wouldn't know if it was magic, even though they both knew it was and that the other also knew, means something. it means i will keep your secret but i cannot help you. this is by no means a moral failing of merlin. he made this choice out of fear for his own life, and i think it is unreasonable to expect him to react perfectly.

morgana in turn had no reason to go to merlin again about her magic. he has made it clear he doest want to be involved, which he has no responsibility to. and why would merlin be able to help her? he, as far as she knows, has no personal experience with magic except his sorcerer friend. 

besides, druids were the safest place for a her to be. it was the safest place for any warlock to be, including merlin.  her knowing or not knowing about merlin has nothing to do with it. like. everything that happens in camelot between merlin and morgana in season 2 is perfectly understandable. they didnt wrong each other. 

what merlin and morgana actually did wrong is getting all those druids killed because they didnt think the plan through. like all of those people in that camp died. aglain, the person helping morgana, died right in front of her and mordred. the druids were the only ones wronged in that situation. which i have never seen pointed out. 

Favorite relationship: her and mordred

listen there is only a singular instance of morgana genuinely hesitating to hurt somebody after her turn and that person is mordred.

Favorite headcanon: oracle!morgana. this is like a whole big headcanon thats basically the origin story of how draognlords came to be. something happened and oracles stole dragons wills and their births to give to mortals as punishment. and then a group of these people came to albion and became the Seers and the dragonlords. who have like different traditions to the druid seers and the priestesses who use methods adapted from scry methods.

thats why she can speak with aithusa even though aithusa cant speak. 

[mikkock]

Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 

.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

.

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

[beizhuo]

❥ ; physical health & mentality on it .

im  not  really  living  .  im  only  just  existing  ;  living  on  borrowed  time  .  im  simply  buying  to  delay  the  inevitable  .

as mentioned before , baizhu is dying . many reason as to why he spends his time trying to study more the longevity of somebody rather than immortality is that there is a distinct difference between the two ! having an indefinite lifespan is different than no death ! baizhu wants the former NOT the latter . he just wants to live without the fear or struggle of knowing that his body is failing .  he is sick , so he never really got to live . & while immortality does pique his interest , that is not really his focus ! 

remember longevity =/= immortality . both imply living forever . immortality , however , means that you genuinely cannot die . but it is a double edged sword . there are unfavorable aspects to immortality , which is why baizhu is not interested in it !  he just wants to live and he doesn’t need to be immortal to want it . i dont know if i can really stress that enough . because while it seems like baizhu is afraid of death ( and in many aspects , he is ) , its really more on the fact that he was never once able to live his life to the fullest . 

he never got to experience life or understand the meaning of it . why ? because he’s been sick most of his life . & since finding out that he is dying due to his sickness , the fear has only magnified .

i’ve also brought on the idea that he doesn’t always have the energy to spare . take introversion , right ? you get exhausted when you interact with people . but for him , this isn’t about being introverted . rather , interacting with people is not the only thing that will leave him tired . being physically ill means that there is a constant strain on his body that leaves him fatigued . taking medication will only diminish the effects . 

it is like taking pain killers or medicine for a cold . you take it , you may feel better , but after the effects go away , the pain comes back and you still feel sick if your body hasn’t had time to recover . not to mention that if you constantly take certain medications , the effects start to just not be there anymore and you either need to take more , or your body just has an immunity to it . yea so with baizhu , it isn’t so much that his body has an immunity to them , but its like nothing he takes actually helps in getting better - it just slows things down for him . 

now , looking at the physical ramifications of being sick and dying . yes , it does take an immense toll on you . your body is failing . but what does that mean on the mental side ? well it’s a bit like a coin . and there are two sides to it .

on one side : baizhu takes it with a bit of ease . many times he has the mindset of ‘well i cannot cry over spilt milk . ’ he doesn’t have time crying about what could be or what would have been . he isn’t jealous of others ( for the most part ) that they are not sick and he is . he isn’t envious or upset that he can heal others but cant heal himself . it is rather childish to wish for things that others have because he doesnt really want to have what others have . he just wants something for himself . i dont know if that makes sense but its not like he really can do much about what already is . however that being said ... there are a lot of negative aspects that really affect his mental health .

the other side of that coin is that baizhu is desperate . he’s scared and feel alone . he is absolutely terrified because he doesn’t know whats wrong . and while , yes , he doesnt want what OTHERS have , he still WANTS to live . he’s afraid to die because he hasn’t lived his life . often times he spends most of his down time ( which isn’t often ) worrying and fretting on how long he has left to live and wonders why he cannot find a way to help more on his situation - while often forgetting that he has been able to still outlast longer than initially expected .

there’s so much he wants to understand and know , and that he doesnt . it is incredibly detrimental to him because now he’s afraid to sleep . he doesn’t know when he is gonna die , he just knows it will happen , so he has insomnia . he absolutely refuses to sleep . ( instead most likely opts for power naps , which aren’t even good for him to begin with ) if it werent for herbalist gui and qiqi ( but mostly gui ) baizhu would have probably just been constantly dropping . ( gui is probably the reason why baizhu sleeps more often though ngl ) . 

it is funny to think that baizhu genuinely does try to save and conserve energy , but in the process , he just happens to also just .... use said energy in making him even more fatigued & exhausted . 

that being said , tending to patients is actually when he is at his happiest & most energy . it is a bit of a revitalization to know that he helps others . i always say that he is a two faced snake and should not be trusted , but he does actually have genuineity with some of his smiles . albeit they are only half-smiles and never really big ones , he is absolutely sincere in them ! 100 % . despite being a sad & scared man , the little things like treating his patients do give him joy so it does help with his deteriorating physical and mental health . but i suppose i can talk about that another time .

[nad-zeta]

Match up ^o^

May I request a Match up, please?

I’m at the part when I have to choose a route and I honestly don’t know/care. So I decided why not let some lovely internet stranger choose for me? Who do you think I would pair the best with?

I also noticed how much effort and detail you put into these so I decided that it was only fair to try to put in just as much effort in requesting. Or maybe I am just extremely vain so blabbering on this much about myself comes naturally (I also wouldn’t be too suprised if this were the case lol). Either way, I apologise for this getting so long. And without further ado, let’s learn about yours truly. Uh, yay?

I will start with my physical appearance because that’s easiest.  

First of all, I am rather tall for a woman. Pair that with the fact that I constantly wear boots with 8 centimetre or greater heels and I almost always cap out somewhere above 182 centimetres (that’s 6 feet in American). So yes. I’m not exactly the approachable type, on the account of my height and near constant resting bitch face. I always look pissed off at something (and to be fair, I usually am).

I am a brunette with boring brown eyes. Nothing of note there. 

I prefer to walk on my toes, for whatever reason. I also have great posture when I walk and these two factors always make it seem like I am floating. I’ve been told that I always seem very confident and self-assured. Which is complete bullshit because 90% of the time, I am winging it. 

I am a dancer (of sorts. More on that later), so I am rather slim and toned. This is literally the only aspect of my physicality that I am actually confident in. The rest of me can burn in hell for all I care. 

I am also very touch adverse. I hate the feeling of skin touching my skin it grosses me touch. However. There are a select few people in this world that I accept and enjoy hugs and cuddles from (and who I could snuggle with for hours). If I let anyone cuddle me that means I trust said person unconditionally and feel extremely comfortable around them. It’s essentially the ultimate statement of trust.

Onto personality.

If you can’t already tell, I have about as much dignity as a wet cat. I while I certainly do have an ego, it can be kind of difficult to bruise. Publically, I am absolutely shameless and don’t give two shits about what others think. 

I have a tongue of steel and can rapid fire the most atrocious insults and comebacks when provoked. I’m known for my venomous sarcasm and biting wit among my own circles. I have a line for nearly every single situation so one-liners have become my thing. Which works out for me because I am a huge flirt.

I’ll flirt with pretty much anyone regardless of gender, I don’t give a crap. To clarify, it’s not because I am an attention whore (okay, yes. I am a complete attention whore), it’s because I am a theatre kid so excessive eye contact and sexual jokes are kinda where I thrive. I am also not afraid to get questionably lascivious with my flirting if someone tries to out-pace me. I never blush, I never falter, and I never let anyone know that they got the better of me. It shows weakness. 

Despite my salacious façade, I am not inherently a sexual person. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. I don’t experience sexual attraction (kudos to my asexual humans. I see you). This has rendered me practically immune to all charm, crushes, and sex appeal. It makes my life a lot easier, in my opinion. I don’t get too attached. I also enjoy messing around with the egos of fuck boys. 

As mentioned earlier, I am an attention whore. I love showing off because I crave validation (this could point to some deep seated insecurities about myself that I refuse to acknowledge…. Ahem). Being on stage as where I thrive. And yes, I am a dancer, as I stated earlier. But I am not your conventional prissy ballerina. I am a circus performer. More specifically, I’m an aerialist. I have covered trapeze, contortion (I am unnaturally flexible), lyra, and silks. It’s a lot of fun almost dying every day and finding bruises in the most questionable places (if you cant already tell, I am an adrenaline junkie. I took karate for the first dozen or so years of my life and have recently been searching for more weapons combat classes because apparently I don’t have enough bruises already).

I am not easily impressed. And I don’t give out compliments very often. And that includes myself. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself at times… most of the time. But then again, who isn’t? 

As for the side of me that isn’t stark-raving mad, I am usually a pretty objective person. While I have no qualms with discussing emotions (both mine and friend’s. I am a great listener and actually give pretty good advice when it comes to dealing with intense emotions). I tend to avoid letting them interfere with my logic. I look down on those who allow their emotions to dictate their actions. It makes them needlessly reckless. 

I am typically a pretty chill person. When I am among people I am unfamiliar with, I tend to stay quiet and try not to rock the boat too much (again, I won’t hesitate to unleash a severe tongue lashing upon any poor soul who happens to rub me the wrong way… Or just happens to exist. I don’t take shit from other people and I hate it when others try to control me. (I don’t play rough, I play smart). 

I really enjoy reading, writing, or drawing quietly. I can’t stand loud and excessive noises or people (parties, screaming, concerts). I am a true extroverted introvert. I love being the center of attention and chatting, but I need my alone time. People are exhausting to deal with. 

Because of my aversion to loud sounds, I tend to avoid typical dance parties like the plague. While I am very good with mingling and partying in general, I can only keep it up in short bursts before I have to retreat somewhere quiet. This is also the reason I greatly prefer the nighttime (if I had a choice I would sleep all day and only frolick around at night. I just love the dark. It’s comforting in a weird way). I also love the night because that’s when I get to sleep and just peace out on life. It’s kinda like non-committal dying.

I am near constantly on hyper-alert so I am not easily startled. When I do get startled, I have a tendency to squeak, yelp or growl. These noses are purely reactionary sounds but for whatever reason, my friends think that they are absolutely adorable and will go to great lengths to startle me just to hear me make them.

To counteract my friend’s malevolence, I have learnt to be super observant, especially when I feel threatened. Usually, I am caught up on my own world and thoughts. I have an imagination so powerful that I can trick my brain into feeling false sensations such as an extra limb or falling. I much prefer to spend my time in my head rather than our boring reality. But if I feel threatened, or think that another attack is imminent, I instantly become hyper aware. These moments of lucidity enable me to make certain observations others would otherwise be overlooked (for example. I was able to tell when my professor lost her wedding ring due to the discoloration around her ring finger and the habitual and near-constant worrying she did at it. I offered to help her look after class ^.^. I admittedly felt kinda smug when I saw her surprise.) Ironically enough, I like to refer to this mode of thinking as “Sherlocking”. I can be quite the detective when I really try. 9 out of 10 times my friends will come to me when they suspect infidelity, I am pretty good at digging up dirt. 

However, I have to make the conscious decision to do this, usually when I am trying to figure someone out or manipulate them into liking me. So this isn’t constant and usually I go about my day like everyone else, blissfully unaware of my surroundings.

Uhh, there is probably more I could cover but this is getting very long as-is and you are probably forcing yourself to get through my seemingly eternal ramblings. So I am going to stop here and go grab myself some food. 

Best of luck to you,

-November

Hi there love!<3 you sound like such a cool interesting person! ^_^ Hehehe I probs took so long with this match up that you already chose a new route lol! Anyways thanx for waiting soooooo long for this and I hope ya enjoy it love ^0^ ^_^

I match you with……………………… Masamune

Honestly, it was between Masamune and Mitsuhide for me lol but i eventually decided to go with Masamune 

The first time Masamune sees you, his eyes go wide in awe, like wow you are one tall fine lady! He has legit never met anyone so tall. After you were named as chatelaine, you stayed behind with some of the warlords to chat and get to know them better, you are after all going to be seeing their faces every day for the next 3 months. 

Right of the bat, Masamune is howling in laughter at the fact that you are way taller than Ieyasu. You, Masamune and Mitsuhide basically tease the poor porcupine for a solid 20 minutes. “My my I never expected such a scary-looking little mouse to be so bubbly and friendly.” 

Oooh, this boy just stared a war of wits. Today day was a good day cause your tongue of steel was rapidly firing witty words and sarcastic remarks at the resident kitsune. He almost couldn’t keep up, almost. Masamune was just standing there watching the whole scene unfold, you truly were going to be a lot of fun! Masamune decided to test out that tongue of steel of your and started firing some flirty pick-up line, while unbeknown to him you are the queen of one-liners, and have no shame when it comes lascivious flirting. Masamune, of course, never backs down from a challenge, and he was determined to make you blush. The conversation got so heated that it made even Hideyoshi blush on your behalf. You simply laughed and fired another one of your pick-up lines.

After the little chat in the hallway and a massive speech from mama bear for talking about things that were not PG13, cause of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*, you and Masamune become quick friends. He had never met a woman before that was immune to his boyish wild charm, and handsome sexual appeal. Masamune was definitely popular with the woman, not as popular as Hideyoshi, but he was definitely a fuckboi. As surprised as he was, that his normal antics didn't work on you, his ego wasn’t dented one bit, it just made him more determined to get to know you. 

Masamune definitely finds your flirtatious nature attractive, especially when you managed to score the two of you free sweet bun just by flirting with the shop owner, he was, even more, shook when the shop owner was a woman, your flirtation truly knows no bounds. The two of you would spend loads of time together, just going out for tea and sweets while getting to know each other. TBH although Masamune would never admit it, he found it refreshing that you weren't just his friend simply cause he was hot or cause you wanted to climb in stations but because you actually liked him as a person. You and Masamune definitely made an unstoppable team when it came to banquets. The two of you would team up and start teasing everyone there. When you two cuties are together its always a good time with loads of laughter and banter

Masamune discovered that you like him, was an adrenaline junkie. He loved that he finally had someone around that would do stupid shit with him just for the thrill of it. The two of you would go out on adventures 24/7 jumping down waterfalls and hiking up cliffs. The two of you goofball would also dare each other to do the craziest shit. Like one-time Masamune dared you to jump off the castle’s roof onto your balcony, and you freaken did it, no questions asked. Or like the one time you dared him to put his head in Shogetsu mouth, mind you the little cub was now grown into a full-blown tiger

One day you and Masa went to go watch one of Mitsuhide’s undercover performances. The three of you were investigating a shady daimyo in one of the nearby provinces. The three of you disguised yourselves as performers and joined a circus troop as their new dancers. You were so excited, the stage is where you truly come alive. You had promised Masa to show him something that would shock/surprise him after he gave you the grand tour of  Azuchi. Today was the day, you had kept your dance and performances a secret from the two men, and now it was finally time to show them what you can do. You had 3 different performances planned. The first one was contortion. To say Masamune was shook would be an understatement he never knew anyone could be so freaken flexible, like wow. Your next performance was aerial dancing, his blue eye gleamed in delight, watching you move through the air so gracefully. If he wasn’t sure before he was sure now, this boy loved ya. But what really took his breath away was when you trapezed through the air, he was absolutely mesmerized at the way you flew through the air doing back-flips and other cool ass tricks. Masamune loved the look of pure joy on your face as you performed and after the show, you explained to him that you were a theatre kid back in the past. Mitsuhide definitely took note of your skills, and since that day you now accompanied him on most missions that required him to disguise himself as a performer.

Masamune loved everything about you at this point. Your overdramatic introvert/extrovert personality. The way you walked. Gosh, he loved the way you walked, it looked like you were an angel floating around wherever you went. He loved your banter and one-liner for every situation. And most of all he loved your hyper-alert side. Boy did he love to come up behind you to scare the crap outta you just so he could hear you squeak, yelp or growl. Like he lived for those adorably cute noises. And you somewhere along the line had fallen in love with the big idiot. He was always coming up with new fun adventures to go on or new fun things to do. He was one of those few people that could actually keep up with your banter

What was he most impressed with you may ask, well you Sherlocking skills of course. One day there were rumours of some super shady daimyos visiting Azuchi. Word on the street was that they were planning on stealing Mitsunari report to make the poor angel look bad. Mitsuhide was away sorting out some other plots and schemes, so it was now up to you to use your skills, to save the angel. You used your detective skill to gather evidence, and since your inner circle knew you were from the future, you were planning on catching them in the act and filming them for evidence. Masamune was always up for an adventure, so he acted as you own personal Watson. The two of you hid while watching the whole scene unfold, once they left the room the two of you came out. “What do you think they are going to do with the report lass,” he asked while his blue eye gleamed in delight. “Hmmmmm, I believe they are going to burn the evidence in the forest” you replied in your best British accent. Masamune couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you made your way to a secluded part of the forest and spotted them making a fire. Masamune looked at you curiously “How did you know they were going to be in this exact spot.” “Elementary, my dear Masamune.” He couldn’t help but burst out in laughter you really were a super fun kitten. Unfortunately for the two of you, they heard you guys laughing behind the trees and before you knew it, the two of you were surrounded. One of the men had a sword right at your throat ready to cut you open, that is when you shocked them by not backing down from the fight, you hit the sword away with one of your own gifted to you by your dearest one-eyed dragon. “ Point that sword at me one more time and i’ll slash your Achilles’ tendons, and TBH given the medicine situation of this time, no one would know how to fix your injury, so I hope you like hobbling around on one leg for the rest of your life cause that is what will happen.” These men were shook; meanwhile, Masa was next to you howling in laughter, “She’s not joking boys, this lass delivers on her threats.” You had never seen grown men run away from a fight so fast. You and Masamune picked up Mitsunari’s report that had fallen on the ground during the commotion and walked back hand in hand

You didn’t really like skin touching skin, but TBH you definitely like the warm feeling of Masamune’s hand warmed around yours. The two of you had come to fall in love with each other, and it wasn’t long before you two cuties entered into a relationship. Despite both of you being adrenaline junkies, both of you also loved your quiet times. Often you would sit together in his manor each doing your own thing. You would read and write, and Masamune would sit at his desk pretending to work (Cause admin is so freaken boring). 

The two of you would have the best time together during banquets you loved being the centre of attention and would chat with everyone, but as the night would progress you would start feeling a bit drained and that’s when the one-eyed dragon would swoop in, pick you up and takes you to a quiet corner where the two of you cuddle and snuggle together.

He would spoil you rotten with the most amazing food, he would basically, cook anything your heart desires just to see that beautiful smile on your face. His heart would always burst with affection whenever he cuddles and kiss you, he knew that the fact that you allowed him to cuddle you was the ultimate statement of trust between the two of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found causing mischief and giving Mamayoshi more grey hairs or cuddled together sharing stories of your day

Other potential matches............... Mitsuhide 

Hope u enjoyed it dear @november-solarstorms

[dolphin-enthusiast]

my beloved morgy, good evening!! it's been a little bit, no? schoolwork has been running rampant and health issues are racking up, so i have unfortunately been away for a bit, not to mention i'll have to look for work soon due to financial issues,, life is quite hectic now! no matter what though, i always look forward to coming back here, talking to you has become one of my favorite things in the world!! 💕💌💫 (1/9)

"and so much has happened now, hm? with that in mind, please know that what i'm about to say isn't just mere kindness, and that i actually believe it wholeheartedly,, i think you are absolutely stunning!!! of course i got the notification during algebra of all classes,, but oh my goodness darling!!!! i'm so happy you somehow gained enough confidence to do that!! (2/9)

i was paranoid after my initial face reveal, but after getting so many nice responses before, i knew it would go just as smoothly for you 💓 ahhhh i just can't get over it at all, you're so pretty!!! i smiled a lot, and then my professor must've noticed, because he said "abby... abby... ABBY! are you ok?? you're face is so red, do you have a fever???" (3/9)

of course i dismissed it, but then to make matters worse, quinn called me during class about it as you saw already,, i swear, she just loves to torture me hm? 😖😖 but really, you are gorgeous, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, ok?? 💘 oh, and i must thank everyone for being so patient and kind during my absence!! your well wishes mean a lot to me! most people tend to get very frustrated with me, so i'm beyond glad that i can get a break from that type of treatment!! (4/9̶ 10)

it's been very difficult so far trying to balance school and my own health, so i've been extremely occupied as of late,, but when things settle down and i figure things out, i should be more active again! (it's what i hope for! writing you and seeing everyone is one of the things i actually enjoy anyway!!! 🌠) and all of those picrews and that drawing?? lovely as always!! (5/10)

aside from stressful school days and other events, today, quinn and our friend chloe surprised me by showing up to my house after school and whisking me off to this lovely asian market in the city! it was unusually cold, so quinn being the overly protective person they are, forced me to take their coat,, ahhh i felt so bad, the breeze was so chilly!! but sadly, the north really does get cold when the fall starts to hit hehe (6/10)

we took the metro over and messed around in our seats a bit,, it was nice and quiet for once! we ended up having a great time, getting dinner, buying lots of strange snacks, and eating different cakes at this quaint café, it was such a nice break from everything not-so-good that has been happening lately!! ✨ (7/10)

and luckily, i get to actually have a good time this weekend!!! my older brother is coming home to visit! despite college being so busy for him, he told me that he still checks in here at the end of every week haha, i'm surprised he even manages to do that with his workload 😖 he told me we're gonna go and get lunch together, so i'm really excited for that,, i miss him lots! ❤ (8/10)

so much has happened that i can't even keep track of it,, there's so much to talk about, it's crazy! i wish school could lighten up a bit so i could be here more, after all, i do truly enjoy my time here!! but i'm overjoyed that i get to return tonight despite my heavy workload,, it's always a rare pleasure to be able to talk to you dolcezza!!! hopefully i can be back soon by friday or so,, i'll be aiming for it 💗 (9/10

thank you guys for all of the support throughout these chaotic months, i never expected to meet such an amazing person and become so loved by a bunch of people i never met- you've all gone beyond my wildest expectations with how unbelievably kind you are to me! as always thank you, i love you all beyond words 💕 with love from the moon & back, your waifu xoxo 💖💖💖 ps: morgy you really do know how to pull at my heartstrings!! i better see no more of you doubting yourself ever again 😘 (10/10)"

THE LEGEND HAS R E T U R N E T H ONCE MORE 😳🤚✨ honestly darling ur reaction was quite literally priceless and Quinn only made this entire thing better ngl jdhdhwhd i almost cant believe me doing some dumb face reveal caused it either but....i aint complaining at all quite the contrary acc👁️👁️

I'd still insist ur bein way too kind but i'll thank u anyway for za compliments (i can only say the same regarding u dear👁️✨) dbqhshxkaha also a trip to za asian market sounds lit ngl me and the squad always go to this k mart thats on the way to our school and they have banging foods 😩✊

Now i can 100% relate to everything u said esp the school part....im exhausted outta my mind (in fact i deadass fell asleep while on zoom today during class djsbs) bc i still lowkey cant fall asleep in time at night and i have to get up early everyday so its like💀💀💀💀 i mostly catch up on schleep in the afternoon but its still a wack schedule and i barely have time to do other stuff let alone write which bothers me alot ngl....as for urself im glad u got to have some quality time w ur mates and also that ur legend of a bro is finally visiting (za clown army e a a g er l y awaiting his return)

I agree also that things have been movin fast like h e l l its already almost october tf🗿🗿 and i also hope ur fine health wise too bc ik all too well how school and an erratic schedule can throw ur entire body off and worsen ur immune system n all of dat shiz💀

Either way im glad u popped in again (as always my inbox been bombarded with questions regarding ur whereabouts djshdjdk) and may we speak of shows and anime again bc a bitch had finished bsd yesterday and im l i v i n😳😳😳