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frostironfudge · 2 years ago

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Silhouettes In the Spotlight - Bucky Barnes - Eleven

Summary: Bucky Barnes has worked immensely hard to have a filmography expanding across genres and garnering accolades from critics, peers and fans. Y/N Y/L/N, with her debut novel (fan-fiction turned New York Times Bestseller) has two other best sellers under her belt. Next is her highly anticipated fourth book lined up for release. SHEILD Productions has acquired the film rights to her debut novel and they want Bucky Barnes to play the lead (aka himself) by any means necessary. This story is about angst, lust, heartbreak, and love. After all fairytales only exist in books and movies right?

Warnings: angst, swearing, it continues discussion of the non consensual things that occurred in the previous chapter also assault of other characters is discussed, where in they describe what they went through at the hands of the same abuser, forced drug use, manipulation, please proceed with caution while reading, minors dni, the first scene describes another person going through a similar ordeal but nothing explicitly described, there is fluff in the chapter too.

Pairing: Actor!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.6k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist || Fic Masterlist || AO3

Chapter Ten|| Chapter Twelve

HEADLINES:

HYDRA Launches Media Outlet – Print and Digital ‘HYDRA Now’

Alexander Pierce Elated To Be Involved In Delivering News In A Robust Honest Way

Ratings For ‘HYDRA Now’ On Uprise Compared To Other Outlets

Meet Sharon Carter Struggling Actress Turned Assistant Turned News Anchor.

‘Alexander Pierce Is The Most Kind, Noble Man.’ Gushes Sharon Carter.

Former SHIELD Employees Quit. Struggle To Find Jobs Elsewhere.

Brock Rumlow On GQ Cover Speaks On ‘How His Uncle Gave Him The Platform But He Forged His Own Tools For Success.’

The white little pill bubbles as it is poured into the golden liquid. Sloshing in the glass carried over to eager lips.

Brock watches as Alexander quells his thirst, the pictures being taken. When his uncle took him in, he went through this safety net.

NDAs and contracts can only do so much for a man being accused. His uncle taught him well. The pictures are placed upon an encrypted drive. Brock seals an envelope writing the author’s address as directed.

This warning would shut Y/N up. Though she had been laying low for the day, not a peep online or any articles about her. Y/N needed a reminder.

“Is it done?” Alexander pushes the woman away from him, she still clambers onto his lap, giggling.

“Oh yeah, this is ready to be dropped off.” Brock gestures to the envelope.

“Good, we need her to be compliant, we cannot have her leave the publishing house. She is one of the biggest authors we have in our roster. HYDRA will rise to be one of the most accomplished and decorated houses of Hollywood.” Alexander takes another sip of his laced drink, humming at the taste.

“I suggest we send Rogers and Barnes a reminder as well. If this woman goes to public, they need to be forced to be on our side.” He clicks his tongue.

“I don’t think they’d pick her over the green in their pockets.” Brock raises a sceptical brow.

“Love makes people do stupid things, Brock. Why do you think I had to get Dolores away from you?” He looks at his nephew, tiredly as if to remind him they have been over this before.

Brock controls his response, just giving a curt nod, “Thank you.”

“Now why don’t you take care of this young lady while I rest.” Alexander stands as the woman falls on the sofa, dazed and laughing at the world swirling around her. He leaves footsteps echoing on the smooth Italian marble.

Brock steps into the office and retrieves the necessary gifts for Barnes and Rogers, heading towards the foyer handing the envelopes to the security who would know what is to be done.

Grabbing the woman he takes her towards the garage, where a taxi waits to take her back to the address they know.

Steve’s hands shake as he spots the envelope left on his doorstep. Immediately he calls Bucky, they used to get these in synchronised timing.

“Did you get one too?” He skips the pleasantries.

Bucky stares at the envelope, swallowing down the lump in his throat, “I did.” He affirms.

“Do you want to come over?” Bucky questions, wanting to sink into the floor.

“Open it together.” Steve agrees, grabbing the envelope and heading back towards the parking lot.

When the line cuts, Bucky does sink to the floor. The ominous envelope was on his doorstep as he returned from your apartment.

He lifted it with his gloves on, placing it on the kitchen island. Alpine keeps her distance as well from the envelope as though knowing it holds the vile shit that he was put through.

Bucky’s phone rings and he looks down at your picture overtaking his screen.

“Feather.” He finally breathes, you sniffle.

“What's wrong?” He sits up, spine straightening as dread fills him.

“After, after you left, there was a knock.” You recount as the pictures fall onto your bed from your hands.

“James it’s, it’s the pictures from, from… that night.” you close your eyes, hot tears brimming over. Scalding your cheeks.

Bucky stands, shoving his envelope into a bag, putting the harness on alpine and her lead.

“Put them back in the envelope and don’t look at them. I’m heading over, Steve will be there too, is there a thumb drive?” Bucky’s question has your chest clenching in pain. He’s been through this before is a sickening realisation.

“How many times has he done this to you?” You ask, hating the way he’s silent.

“Feather, I don’t want to add onto—,”

“James.” You plead.

“It’s more than counting on your fingers.” His admission burns in his chest and your veins.

“Don’t plug in the thumb drive into your computer, don’t look at the photos anymore okay? I’m on my way over.” He fills the silence as you stare down at your palm, the lines on your hands blurring as more tears form. The call cuts off.

Bucky takes the stairs with Alpine, she senses the urgency and trots down them with ferocity.

He texts Steve to meet at your apartment. The walk to your wing of the complex is quaint, Sam having tipped paps off to be at his “front” gym so they could get peace and quiet.

Entering the code for your building Alpine moves towards the elevators and meows at them. He admires her momentarily then calls for the elevator.

When he texts you to open the door your appearance is still distraught. Bucky wants to whisk you away from everything, your eyes are puffy yet again.

Your bottom lip quivers, then you look down at Alpine, she chirps at you and you lose it all.

Enveloping her in your arms as you cry and she begins her purring to soothe you, Bucky’s embrace joins in after the click of your door, you clutch onto his arm. He kisses the top of your head.

Half an hour later you’re still curled against him on your couch. Steve looks at the pictures with clenched teeth. As the pictures progressed Bucky could hear the conversation matching the images, he had his fists clenched, the vibranium whirred loudly.

Alpine was in your mom’s room napping next to her feet.

They opened their own envelopes, a blank expression masking their faces, the reminders of those blurred nights haunting them.

Bucky worries when you look at the pictures, but your eyes trace over his manipulated youth with sorrow. The women wrapped around young men who thought this was normal. That it was okay to be so lost in the haze of smoke and mirrors. Who didn’t know any better.

You're sick to your stomach when their pictures with Alexander come up. It isn’t staged like yours were, he actually touched them. He forced himself on them.

It worsens when you reach the pictures of them together Alexander caught pictures of both of them in compromising positions with each other.

Steve shifts his blue eyes to you, his lips pressed to a thin line. Mind swirling at what would you think of them. He already was on thin fucking ice with you. He shifts his eyes to Bucky, who is staring at him harbouring the same worry.

“Were the two of you drugged too?” You ask first, heart shuddering in your ears.

“We don’t remember much of those nights.” Steve admits in confirmation, “It won’t matter, the two of us had the whole party boy persona going for us, clubbing, alcohol, recreational relaxing drugs…” he trails off looking to the side.

Your jaw clenches, fists formed on your thighs. You wanted Alexander to pay, you wanted him to rot in the depths of hell.

“He told us, if pictures of Steve and I got out, it would hurt our reputations, the comments, losing our main fanbase of women, the dark party prince and the fun times maestro.” Bucky points at himself then Steve, “We remember flashes, him pushing me down. Forcing himself on us, I remember him saying, whoever gets him off better gets the better role.”

Your eyes close, bile rising to your throat at the vile shit the two of them were put through.

“But we got smarter after a while, our contracts got better at protecting us, we stopped drinking what he gave, and carried our own mini bottles.” He sighs, the torment flashing through his eyes.

“We didn’t even realise we were fooling around, too far gone into the happy drugs and new money.” Steve gives a humourless laugh, “The fans picked up on our behaviour changes, we got less interactive, interviews were clipped. I almost checked into a mental health facility.”

Your lips part, “Why didn’t you?”

“Golden boy goes to rehab.” Bucky shakes his head, “How will it look? The best of the best, crippled by his own mind?” He quotes the old headlines.

“Dark prince of partying spotted outside a prominent mental health clinic – is he losing his edge?” Steve quotes too.

They exchange a glance.

“It went to shit at the movie during which I lost my arm.” Bucky explains, “We both wanted to quit.” He admits.

“We even had contingency money arranged between us, brand deals, we worked ourselves to the bone.” Steve sighs, “Any show, any advert, any movie, we didn’t care, we just wanted out. Wanting out meant paying off SHIELD. Essentially buying our freedom.”

“Then the fights happened between us when stress got too much, I told him he needs a breather.” Bucky runs a hand through his hair, “He was working himself to the bone, stunts were sloppy.”

“It was a buddy cop movie, think sort of Rush Hour. Alexander pushed us to do our own stunts, so we trained like mad. Best shape of our lives. Bucky was right, I was exhausted. Hopped up on caffeine to stay awake and prescribed sleeping pills to make me sleep.” Steve shakes his head, then gives another laugh,

“This fucker was doing the same thing.” he points his index finger to Bucky, your eyes follow the movement.

“Asshole figured it out, he still was out of it that day. The stunt was his, but we told the director it made sense I’d do it. Alexander wasn’t there that day of the shoot. We know now that it was predestined to go wrong, as per what he said.” Bucky swallows, vibranium fingers flexing and gleaming in the sunlight through the blinds.

“Everything crumbled, I tried to be there, then we fought more, none of us could get out. Alexander came then, saying I should go to Hydrangeas, they turned my image from party boy to serious guy. Bucky lost out two and half years of work and life. Things soured.” Steve extends his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes.

“Best friends to enemies, he wrote in the book. Divulged shit I trusted him with, SHIELD had a field day throwing me out putting him on a pedestal and then bringing me back. Full sleeves and gloves. Other production houses just made being an amputee into the storyline. Or they would make digital alterations.” Bucky reached for your hand, tracing over the bandaged index finger.

“We could say nothing, do nothing. Unspoken promise was we’d save anyone else from this bullshit, I warned Loki not to sign on as a resident SHIELD creative.” He adds.

“I warned Ace when they asked while working together on Defending Jacob.” Steve traces over the calluses on his palm.

“You had already signed on, I couldn’t protect you. I thought pushing you away was the key. So I kept my distance, but I couldn’t help myself to be selfish to steal a place within your heart.” Bucky admits with a smile.

“I wanted to piss you off enough that you’d refuse working on the project. Valarie told me you had yet to sign, I didn’t know you already had. Combined with the fact that the two of you were falling in love. Chemistry in elevators off the charts.” Steve rolls his eyes.

Your skin heats recalling the stolen moments.

“Dickhead.” Bucky throws the pillow.

“Asshole.” Steve throws it back.

“Jerk.”

“Punk.”

You laugh at their banter, the two of them smile at you. Elated at seeing you crack a smile.

Bucky presses a soft kiss to your temple. Steve continues to smile at you.

Your phone rings and it’s Andy’s text, you look at Bucky and then Steve. The former holds your hand and the latter walks around sitting next to you to offer his support.

Andy: we’ve got your tox screen result back and other test results, please let me know a convenient time to set up a meeting again. We will meet at any location you deem comfortable.

Steve and Bucky look at you. Bucky rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. Steve hesitates before placing his hand on your shoulder.

You only freeze momentarily before realising the person is familiar and safe.

“I’m sorry.” he begins to retract his hand, you place your palm above his, it had only been twenty four hours but you knew you had to begin to get through this before your mind got the best of you.

“Steve, you're a friend and you feel safe.” You assure him. He gazes at you then it flickers to Bucky. It is only then he notices that Bucky is worried too, he only touches you when you initiate contact.

You were on a time limit you feared, so you were trying to remind yourself, who were your safe people. Who you could run towards incase of adversity.

You looked up at Bucky to find his gaze already upon you.

“It won’t happen.” He says with such sincere surety, reading your mind.

You believe him.

You had to believe him.

Turns out when the FBI is involved, you can’t meet wherever you want. Andy is still apologetic, you brush off his look with your own understanding one.

Steve still glares at his brother on your behalf. You roll your eyes then you realise Bucky is glaring at Andy too.

“Will you both stop it?” You whisper.

The camera in the corner seemed daunting. They don’t relent. You suppress another eye roll and look at Andy apologetic on behalf of the two of them.

Matt moves his hands over the book in front of him, lips moving barely as he reads.

The door clicks open, two agents walk in one wearing glasses, her curls looking amazing and suit tailored perfectly. She exudes badass energy.

The man accompanying her is slightly taller, crows feet line around his eyes as he smiles kindly at everyone. His suit slightly dishevelled and he takes another sip from his coffee cup before placing down the manila folders on the table.

“Hello Ms. Y/N Y/L/N, I am Special Agent Darcy Lewis this is my partner,” he gestures towards him, he waves,

“Special Agent Scott Lang.” He puts his hand forward and you shake it and he moves towards Bucky and Steve also shaking their hands.

“Executive Assistant Director of Criminal Investigation.” Andy adds, pointing at Darcy, she smiles.

“She’s trying to be humble, Andy.” Matt chuckles, Darcy laughs.

“Yes, yes I am.” She takes a seat and you feel at ease at her demeanour.

“Now, Ms. Y/L/N, is there anyone in this room you want gone? We are about to discuss your case in detail, in case you don’t want someone here to know or see we can have them escorted outside.” She looks at Bucky and Steve. They only look at you.

“They can stay, I trust them.” You declare, Yelena had decided to remain outside before you could even ask her to come in.

Loki was going to be questioned when he came in later, already having Bucky and Steve here was enough to draw attention.

Darcy goes through the folders set down by Scott, humming when she reaches the one she desired.

“Some of these images may be disturbing, they may remind you of what occurred and what you went through. Gentlemen, these may be triggering for you as well. We have a clinical psychologist on standby, please do not hesitate to let us know.” She offers a small smile, the three of you nod.

Spreading the images out, you feel the wave of nausea. It isn’t the same pictures as Alexander had sent, these are the ones Dr. Cho took, of your injuries.

Bruised back, cheek bone, and wrists.

Cut along the bruise on your cheekbone.

Bite marks on your shoulder. Indents of his teeth.

You shudder, reaching for their hands. Steve and Bucky grasp your hand each.

Then the picture of the broken skin along your tattoo.

Bucky’s gaze hardens and jaw visibly clenches harder, his hold on your hand remains soft, caring, a stark contrast to the rage within him.

“Now, do you remember how you got any of these?” Darcy breaks the silence.

You reach forward tapping the wrists and cheekbone and tattoo’s images.

“I remember bits and pieces, I don’t know why. I know Alexander slapped me or backhanded me several times. It was a mix to get me to comply. Brock held down my wrists first because I was moving too much? Then I felt sort of numb? We were on the ground when he took my fingers in his mouth, while he was threatening James and Steve.” Your grip on their palms tightens.

“It's okay, I know it is hard and you’re doing really well.” Scott gives you an encouraging smile, “We’ll help you understand why your memory feels that way.”

He takes out another paper from a different folder.

“This is your blood report, you were administered with a sedative, but you were given a conscious sedation. The water tested came back positive for Rohypnol,” scott concludes.

Bucky closes his eyes, “He planned it all didn’t he?”

“Of course he did, he wanted to cover all fucking bases.” Steve seethes, his gaze flickers to Andy as he notes down further points to have their case remain stronger.

“The drug laced water caused your initial bout of delirium, you couldn’t walk properly, the dizziness you reported. Your memory gaps are likely because of it.” Darcy explains looking right at you.

Scott gestures to the picture of your right forearm, two small puncture wounds.

“We also found a mix of other sedatives and drugs in your system, which explains the puncture wounds caused by injections. Likely the ones that caused your physical movements to shut down to get you to comply.” Scott taps the paper where the complicated drug name is written.

“Are you having any symptoms?” He looks up from the paper.

“Nausea, I threw up a few times last night… Sleep isn't that great either but it hardly has been since the past few weeks.” You shrug, “I can’t stomach heavy food yet, soup and crackers or toast is the way right now, nothing too um cheesy, Bucky tried giving me ice cream, it’s a thing we do on hard days… I cried when I couldn’t stomach that either.” you wince.

Bucky nods, the memory flashing in his mind he thought you were crying out of panic but the tears came about because a comfort moment you shared with him was ruined. He assured you, he said it would be okay the two of you would be eating ice cream in no time as he held you.

“Understandable it’s been under forty eight hours still, that should pass but it’s better you progress with food over another two days.” Darcy collects the images back, tucking them into the folder.

Andy places three envelopes on the table, the two agents look at him.

“They received gifts.” He gestures with his head to the envelopes.

“Simultaneously, this morning at around eleven.” Matt adds, he tilts his head as they put on gloves and go through the pictures.

Darcy looks up at Steve and Bucky.

“You realise these implicate the two of you for illegal substance abuse.” She quirks a brow.

“We were hoping in exchange for this further evidence to take down our favourite Hollywood biggie, we work out a deal for my clients.” Matt provides a charming smile when Darcy gives an exasperated sigh her eyes narrow into a mini glare.

“Now, Agent Lewis, I am playing nice and not the devil.” Matt quips, still smug.

“What are you proposing?” She twists her lips to one side.

“Full immunity, no charges against them for their substance abuse, yes they were stupid using these drugs before but a major part of it was forced.” Andy places the demand.

Scott shakes his head, “How do you both still face this asshole?”

“With a shit tonne of hatred.” Steve says.

“Massive self restraint.” Bucky adds.

“Put this into processing.” Darcy moves the envelopes towards Scott, he produces a larger evidence bag from his jacket.

“I dabble in magic.” Scott chuckles seeing your surprise.

“That's cool.” You say amused, he flicks his wrist and a flower appears, he hands it to you. You laugh.

“My daughter loves it when I have tricks up my sleeve.” Scott grins as you give a chuckle, “Only she has the best sense of humour.”

Steve rolls his eyes, Andy kicks him from under the table, the two brothers scowl at each other.

Bucky catches the exchange, he only smiles looking at the smile gracing your features.

“I can offer no charges, I, however, require full cooperation.” Darcy looks at everyone, “This case is high stakes, I want this man behind bars as much as you. If you have secrets, know they will come out since we will pry into everything.” She warns.

“You do what you need to, I don’t care if I have to spy on him for you.” Bucky leans forward, “He took from me, I’m not letting him take from her or take her away.” His voice is laced with emotion despite the cold front he’s putting up.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Mr. Barnes. However, this doesn’t work easily like the movies.” Darcy taps the table, “He’s declared to harm the two of you in case Y/N blows the whistle on him. Her case is as sensitive as yours, she’s unfortunately got more to lose than a man. Your need for vengeance and justice is understood and felt. He’s a vile man. My team and I will not rest till we get him.”

“If I may?” Matt requests the floor.

“By all means.” Darcy offers the floor.

“I understand the emotional response. I truly do, Agent Lewis is correct in heeding you both not to react emotionally.” Matt’s opened palm gestures to Steve and Bucky.

Both of them scowl.

“You need to understand, if this goes south, if he catches a whiff. There is no prediction of his reaction and how severe it will be.” He concludes.

“Which means no disrespectful comments or egging him on, or any of the other stupidity.” Andy looks at his brother then Bucky.

They nod.

“It applies to you too, Y/N.” Andy turns his gaze to you, it’s softer almost reminding you of Steve’s gaze.

You nod, “Understood.”

“He may ask you to do things for him, to blackmail you. Remember to record these conversations. The state of New York allows recording conversations if one party is consenting.” Darcy informs you.

“Preferably record videos so it proves you are not tampering with evidence.” Scott adds.

You look towards Andy and Matt.

“It’s our best effort to pin blackmail on him.” Matt purses his lips then sighs, “I know you may not agree, you may want to retaliate but know that he is serious about these threats.”

Matt’s words leave a sour taste in Steve’s mouth. He knew first hand Alexander’s warnings should be heeded.

“We’ll comply.” He says, looking at you and Bucky, “We have to keep her safe.”

“We’re doing this for her.” Bucky’s words have you feeling some type of way.

“And for yourselves.” You remind him.

Steve gives you a half hearted smile, Bucky only looks down at your bandaged hand.

You’re exhausted as you lay in your bed. They made you recount the whole ordeal again. Your fingertips brush over your cheeks, how do you still have tears left? The night was restless; you wondered if asking Bucky to stay over would have helped.

Sighing you make your way to your door then your mum's, you smile seeing her asleep. No marker’s of pain on her face.

Grabbing your laptop you make your way to the hall then pause blinking at the people sitting and grinning at you.

Loki, Ace, Steve, Yelena, Natasha, Angel, Sam and Bucky.

The small table is covered with food, different take out boxes and soda cans, and a laptop is connected to the TV. Brooklyn Nine Nine is lined up to play. You look from the screen to them, tears brimming your eyes.

“I love you all.” You set your laptop down, they all lunge forward enveloping you in a group hug.

“We love you too.” Yelena smiles, you beam brightly at her.

The group settles into a comfortable rhythm, soft laughter, food being shared. You’re sitting between Yelena and Ace. Loki and Bucky joking around, Steve laughing at their antics. He’s still getting used to Loki being hot and cold but he knows he deserves it.

When the call button chimes, Natasha and you help your mom on to her wheelchair and bring her out. Bucky switches out to Nailed It pressing play. They fill her plate with food that isn’t spicy and take turns helping her eat.

You end up taking so many pictures, your heart full as well as your belly. It’s unsaid but you can feel the love of this small family you’ve found amidst the chaos.

Your mother meets your gaze after she looks at everyone laughing along the episode. Dessert was eaten and now a comfortable silence envelopes only broken by the laughter and occasional joke.

She gives you a beaming smile. Her hand reaches for yours, you grasp it between both of yours, it’s warm, you smile.

“I used to worry, of how I could leave you all alone.” She says misty eyed, you’re about to protest, but she stops you by raising her other hand.

“I used to, then I worried more after your dad’s accident.” She continues then looks around the room once again. Everyone meets her gaze, Steve pauses the episode.

“I see now though you’ve found a family for yourself.” She smiles, “I don’t need to worry anymore.”

“We’ll take care of her.” Natasha says, the others nod in agreement.

“I know you will, and she will take care of you when you need her too.” Your mother smiles, running her palm over your head.

“She takes care of us all already.” Bucky admits, “You’ve raised her so well.” he praises making her smile.

“You do realise that makes us all your kids right?” Loki grins cheekily. Steve nods, “I agree.”

“I do think you’re the best mom.” Ace adds, grinning.

“Yelena and I can have the papers drafted.” Natasha laughs when you shoot her a look.

“Oh don’t worry she won’t adopt Bucky.” She teases you, Bucky’s cheeks tinge pink.

“Nat.” He groans as everyone laughs at his expense, he meets your eyes from across the room.

“We’ll make her your mom in some way.” You tease him, hinting at the future you do see.

“I love you.” He says, making your own cheeks warm.

“I love you too.” You say to him.

Everyone coos at the two of you.

@/godofmischief: [uploads story to instagram]

[story deleted]

@/lokiismybabie: HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK @/ithinkimetbucky LOOK WHAT LOKI UPLOADED THEN DELETED HOLY SHIT.

[ attached screenshot, image from Y/N’s house, Angel, Sam, Loki, Bucky, Y/N, her Mother, Steve, Yelena, Natasha gathered around the couch, smiling at the camera, captioned: ‘we all got adopted today – found family’ ]

@/ithinkimetbucky: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THEY ALL ARE FRIENDS AND HOLY SHIT BUCKY AND Y/N ARE SO CUTE HER HEAD RESTING ON HIS SHOULDER– @/buckymademelikebooks GET ONLINE NOW

@/buckymademelikebooks: HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WAIT IS THAT A CUT ON HER CHEEK OH FUCK?

@/buckymademelikebooksmore: guys my account was deleted @/ithinkimetbucky where did the tweets go?

@/ithinkimetbucky: @/buckymademelikebooksmore girl get on IG DMs lemme explain there what we’re theorising

@.y/nwrites: hi guys, i know there was a picture uploaded by loki it was supposed to be on his private instagram stories and we’ve all been there with the wrong upload lol. The reason I'm coming on is because several people are speculating about several things and I just want to clear up a few things:

A. I got into a little mishap on the stairs of my apartment complex which led to my injuries, I've been told to rest for recovery. No broken bones so that is great,

B. My found family is taking care of me and mom and we’re so thankful for them,

C. Also thank you to my readers and everyone who messaged to check in on me i’m so thankful for you all as well and as a treat I wanted to release Rhys’ extended point of view of planning the recreation of their first date night together in the same place (basically how he got the flowers) so check your inboxes a link should be there and if not you can sign up to gain exclusive access!

Thank you, I love you all!!!!!!!

@/ithinkimetbucky: @/buckymademelikebooksmore so guess the theory was wrong…

@/buckymademelikebooksmore: i’m so glad she’s okay and has people taking care of her, was so worried sick!

@/buckymademelikebooks: woohoo my account was reinstated!!!!!!!!!

HEADLINES:

Dolores Back In The Cast Of ITIMYIMDO!

Author Y/N Spotted Outside Since Bombshell Announcement to Support Dolores’ Return

Fans Not Happy About Return Start Petition On Website Again!

Natasha Romanoff and Y/N Y/L/N Spotted Arguing Outside SHIELD Building, The Director Leaves The Author In Tears.

Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers Come Together For Charity Marathon, Seems Being Found Family Of Y/N Mended The Friendship.

A.N.: i missed you all! i hope to be more regular in updating, please let me know what you think!

Taglist is Open comment or DM to be added!

Taglist: @stevesmewmew @elle14-blog1 @crazyunsexycool @sebsgirl71479 @pandaxnienke @slutforsexyseabass @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @pandaxnienke @vampire7595

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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 years ago

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Schroedinger's streaming service just died

When you buy a vinyl record, cassette or CD, you own it, thanks to copyright law’s “first sale” principle. I have real criticisms of copyright law, but at least it’s a law, created by a democratically accountable legislature. When you buy a digital download of a song, your use of it is governed by private terms of service, not copyright law.

These terms of service are outrageous. Not only are they incredibly long and dull, but they confiscate all the rights that Congress reserved to the public when they crafted copyright law. You can donate your old CDs to a library, you can leave your mix-tapes to your kid, you can divide your CDs in a divorce, but none of that stuff is on the table with digital media.

Virtually no one has ever read these terms of service. That makes sense — not only are they written to be impenetrably soporific, but they’re also so manifestly unfair that just trying to parse them risks an aneurysm. Perhaps the only way to read the Itunes ToS with your sanity intact is via R Sikoryak’s incredible graphic novel (!) adaptation:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/03/03/terms-and-conditions-the-bloviating-cruft-of-the-itunes-eula-combined-with-extraordinary-comic-book-mashups/

The confiscation of your rights to your digital media depends on the fiction that you are licensing the music, not buying it. The fact that there’s a giant “buy now” button on the interface notwithstanding, tech and entertainment companies maintain that you are engaged in a licensing deal, like an advertiser buying synch rights for a hamburger commercial.

The digital media industry wants to eat its cake and have it, too. Even as they tell you that you’ve just bought a “license” and therefore have no rights under copyright, they tell their workforce — the creative laborers who composed, arranged and performed the music — that you’re buying your music, not licensing it.

That’s because all the record deals from the prehistory of digital music have two different royalty rates: when a musician’s work is sold, they get a low royalty rate (12%-22%). When that same work is licensed, they get a 50% royalty.

When the digital music industry was getting started, they invented a new form of quantum indeterminacy. When a customer paid $0.99 for an Itunes track, they were engaged in a license. When that transaction was recorded on the artist’s royalty statement, it was a sale. Like Schroedinger’s alive/dead cat, digital music was in superposition, caught in a zone between a sale and a license.

Because only music executives were allowed to open the box and collapse the wave, they could ensure that it always collapsed into a state favorable to the record label and its tech partners. If a listener was involved, the wave collapsed into a license transaction, and the listener was deprived of the rights the legislature promised them. If a musician was involved, the wave collapsed into a sale transaction, and the musician was deprived of majority the money their contracts guaranteed them.

Now, a musician has managed to drag digital music into the realm of classical physics, ending its quantum indeterminacy. Electronica pioneer Four Tet has successfully wrung a settlement out of his label, Domino, who will now be forced to treat his digital recordings as licenses and pay a 50% royalty, rather than the 13.5% they’d insisted on.

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-61871547

Four Tet will get £56,921.08 and 5% interest compounded over all the years the label was screwing him: “I really hope that my own course of action encourages anyone who might feel intimidated by challenging a record label with substantial means.”

It’s great to see Four Tet get some fundamental justice. One way that heritage acts can get some justice of their without going to court is through copyright termination. In the US, artists can terminate their copyright deals after 35 years and get their rights back:

https://doctorow.medium.com/take-it-back-e3689628f4f0

This has enabled many creative workers to cut through legal messes; for example, George Clinton was was able to terminate copyright assignments to 1,413 of his works, comprehensively ending the otherwise endless litigation against an unscrupulous manager whom Clinton accused of stealing his catalog:

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/george-clinton-regains-possession-of-funkadelic-masters/

[Image ID: An Apple Itunes license agreement window with a Buy on Itunes button superimposed on it.]

#pluralistic

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joyce-stick · 2 years ago

Text

Audrey's Best Girls Winter 2023

youtube

Video of recommendations of girls (And media) which halfway through turned into a Bocchi the Rock video essay.

Transcript under the cut.

Previous video essay/transcript: Adachi and Shimamura's Second Season

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Hello everyone, it’s Audrey. So, it’s been some time, I was writing a script about problematic things, and then Joyce came along and started a separate script about things we had to recommend. I finished that script, and the end result of this process was a great incoherent mess, so I’m taking it from the top.

First thing we have to talk about today is Moonshine!~

Moonshine is a doujin visual novel produced by the now seemingly dissolved doujin circle Sakura Mint, whose origins I don’t have the resources nor Japanese language knowledge to trace any information about. It was released in 2007, and then translated to English in 2008, and, quite frankly, the fact that a freely available English translation exists for easy online downloading is a goddamn miracle. It’s really short, like, about an hour, or two if you’re slow like we are. Nonetheless, this VN made us cry like a little baby child. The reason for that being, it’s about a trans girl. And the other reason for that being, it’s about a trans girl falling in love with a gender ambiguous main protagonist who is, well, gosh, really.

This is a really raw and emotionally powerful little story with a really strong theme of how to move on with your life. From a life where you didn’t belong or weren’t loved, or from a life that you love but that can’t follow you, and how either can be equally painful, how change is always painful, even if it truly is for the better, and it’s just a whole lot of feelings. A story that made us cry this much needs to be read. The English version is available freely, it’s only a bit of time, and it’s very well worth it. You might need to fuck around with your graphics settings to get it to display in proper 4 by 3 if you want to play it in fullscreen without it stretching to 16 by 9, but still, very very worth it. Probably one of the best pieces of queer fiction that we’ve ever read, and the fact that it got translated the year after its release is incredible.

It also has a sequel, called Tsugi no Terasu, which is probably not called “Sunshine” in English because that’s not what the kanji means. This sequel never got any sort of digital release either officially or otherwise and it looks as if the doujin group that made it has long disbanded given that the web domain name they used to occupy is now populated by casino advertisements, sooo all their work is probably just kind of, gone, unfortunately. As is often the case when independently produced niche media exists and no one is doing any work to preserve it. These things just sort of go and vanish.

Unless it hasn’t vanished, and someone does care! Like, I dunno, the girl reading this. I dunno about y’all, but I’d prefer that this thirteen year old VN that’s a sequel to a sixteen year old VN about a trans girl gets to be read, by someone, and hopefully continue to exist, and not evaporate into the mists of time. Sure, we can’t read it, but, details details. We’ll learn! How to read. I hope.

So I found a copy of Tsugi no Terasu for sale on akibaoo. Presumably this copy’s used, and there’s no guarantee it’ll work with our computer, or that it won’t be scratched to hell, but hey, you have to take some chances sometime in life. So, I bought it, with a portion of our, uh, meager, monthly Patreon earnings, so that we can collect it and take some form of action to preserve it in some form. Because this is what we’re supposed to do. I know we don’t have that much money, I know we’re probably going to have to eat a lot of rice for another month, but, what the hell, are we doing this youtube shit for, if not this shit? And I for one, am tired of watching hazel do all the awesome Japanese media preservation actions. I would like to have some of that glory! Somehow.

And that’s the thing.

So if you’d like to support the thing, that is to say, acquiring and assessing niche subcultural Japanese media so that we can talk about it and maybe help make it accessible to other people, and making video essays about these exploits and our emotional discoveries from them, or whatever else we do, which all apparently comes ahead of eating a proper diet because we’re insane… then please, please, donate money to us via Ko-fi, Patreon, or whatever. You will be rewarded in some way, I assure you, unless you don’t feel rewarded, and then you won’t.

So here, I’m gonna tell y’all about other interesting content that we’ve had a look at.

Witch from mercury!

Okay so I had a whole thing written about this show. And then I had a whole other thing. And then Joyce simplified that other thing to its base components. And I don’t feel like summarizing what she said about what I said. But really I just think you should look at the tweet I wrote. Which says,

“So basically this is the story of what'd happen if us talking to girls in our discord chats but we had mechas and were all caught in the middle of corporate/government space politics-wars-ing

“I’m sorry”

And also,

Suletta didn’t do anything wrong.

I’ve thought about this quite a long time, and others have kind of said it more succinctly, but I think that Suletta made, not the best decision, but a reasonable decision in this circumstance, to protect her fiancee from the guy pointing a gun at her.

I think the appropriate thing to do then would have been to emerge from Aerial apologizing profusely for the traumatic experience that Miorine just had of watching a dude get killed, instead of what she did do. That would have been the human thing to do. But Suletta didn’t act like a human in this situation because her mom told her that this behavior was a show of emotional strength. And that’s what’s happened here. And that’s interesting, because it plays really well into the story, I think, in showing that the shonen protagonist pluckiness that Suletta was trying to approach her circumstances with, doesn’t really work all of the time! Suletta, the main protagonist of this series, acted the most protagonist like that she’d ever acted in this scene, and it was the most out of character she’d ever acted, and like, gosh, I’m looking forward to seeing how they follow up on this. That’s really what I have to say about that.

Oh and also the show was good.

So yeah, that helped.

How Do We Relationship?

Which I’m going to refer to as Tsukiage, a shortened form of its Japanese title, from here on out.

Tsukiage is a story about lesbians.

And yes, yes, I know, there’s many stories “about lesbians” that I’ve told you about before. No. This isn’t like those. Tsukiage is About Lesbians. Tsukiage is about the experience of being a lesbian in This World, with all its gross bigotry problems. Tsukiage is about the experience of being in a group of heterosexual women and being asked what guys you like, and being unable to answer. Tsukiage is about the experience of being someone you know your parents would hate. Tsukiage is about the experience of being a teenager with no adults to trust in your life, but also about being an adult uncertain if you can trust the other adults in your life, and about the ennui of living isolated in a place you’ll probably never find your way out of, and about,

Tsukiage is about two twenty something lesbians who date each other because they’re the only lesbians they know and they have no idea what else to do, and who are really good at having a lot of sex with each other but are also really bad at dating and even worse at dating on the days when they're really bad at having sex with each other. And they're also both young and both had traumatic high school romance failures because, being a high school student is plenty traumatic in its own ways, and those wounds are still fresh to both of them even if they want to pretend they aren't, and it's bound to follow them still in this town they've lived their whole life in, and it's just a lot of spicy drama about that! I’ve been only three volumes in so far, and Miwa and Saeko are the first main pairing of a yuri manga we've seen to whom I’ve kind of ended up saying “nope”. I don’t get the sense that these two are made for each other in the same sense we got reading Adashima or Yagakimi or Sasakoi. They argue, they bicker, they feel jealous about each other, and about, maybe, 2 thirds of the way through the second volume, I realized I was reading a breakup narrative.

I mean, look at the back covers of the first four volumes. They telegraph it visually!

But also that makes this manga even more compelling for what it’s going for, because, um, conflict is good! And two people not made for each other is damn well better! Just yes, please do try to eventually get these two back together and sell me on this horrible relationship sorting itself. Or don’t, that’s also fine! I’ve not actually got to the chapter where they broke up, because, gosh, and tough, but yeah. And also this is probably the first manga I’ve read that actually shows how school can be traumatic, when it presents a supporting character who was deemed “gifted” in high school but ultimately wasn’t as good as their sibling and then was extremely othered by her family, and just is, generally, awfully maladjusted to, reality, because of the sheltered and overstructured way in which they lived being forced to rank as high as possible on exams, and like, shit! Like, I know Japanese high school is brutal, and it’s a plot point in a lot of anime and all, but this is the one time I can recall offhand when it was actually something that impacted the story and characters outside of a relatively contained studying arc, and it’s probably some of the realest fucking shit I’ve ever read.

Oh, also, um, Tsukiage is really damn funny. Like, the early volumes had me laughing involuntarily so much that I was seriously concerned about attracting noise complaints from others in our living space, or, around, generally? It’s a really good story, the art and faces are really good, the humor is really good and that's pretty damn essential, I think, for a story that deals in such heavy topics. The whole thing is good, so, yeah, read it!

Bad End Theater!

So yeah, I already used this game as b-roll in the Adashima video, so if you watched that, you probably already know that we liked this. And we do. It’s quite good. This game starts with, as Joyce said, *ruffles papers* “an unawakened lesbian is eaten by a demon… and in the next part of the game, the lesbian meets a demon lesbian who wants to eat her in the other way… and in the later part of the game, a reply guy apologizes for replying with violence… or actually replies with violence.”

So anyway this game took us a couple hours to 100% all its Steam achievements. Very short game, very good game, nice little queer vignette about the tragedy of people from different social backgrounds not understanding each other, and then understanding each other, one hopes. It’s not free, but it’s quite good, and easily recommendable! So yeah.

5, Spark the Electric Jester 3!

It’s a Sonic game. It’s basically a Sonic game. It’s much like the earlier game, Spark the Electric Jester 2, which is much like the earlier games Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow the Hedgehog, the video about which we were going to make is apparently not coming out until it does, because we keep getting distracted by pointless bullshit. The developer of this series is a former developer of Sonic fangames and started with the 2D Spark the Electric Jester 1, which we could not finish because we suck at 2D platformers.

One really interesting thing about this game is how it treats the lives system. Yes, it has one, but only for the final level. I find this super super interesting, because while we were playing the Sonic Adventure titles with a friend of ours, we kinda generally came into the agreement that the lives system of all these games was a mistake. And Sonic Team seems to have agreed, because they, uh, removed it, from Sonic Forces onwards. But Spark 3 puts it back deliberately, only for the final level, and the final level is basically designed to make you lose lives. Not through difficulty, exactly, because while it is difficult, it’s not insurmountable, once you know the lay of the land- but rather, through compounding difficulty by length. Utopia Shelter doesn’t feel exactly like a level, it feels like a whole city. It feels like, I suppose, if at the end of Sonic 06, the whole of Soleanna became a level from which Sonic had to escape- oh, well, I guess that sort of did happen, huh. Sorry, just um…

Sonic 06 is cool? I’m very sorry to say so. It’s a horrible mess, but it also is cool.

Anyway, Spark 3’s acknowledgement of lives as a part of the Sonic Adventure experience feels like, kind of great? Like it doesn’t just go, “oh this part annoyed people, let’s throw it away” it says, no, dying in Final Chase repeatedly and falling out to the main menu is part of this kind of game, let’s just, give the player a chance to experience that, at least once. Let's make this a part of the game, but make it better, by making the level earn it, both by being an awesome level whose difficulty feels contextually justified, and also by being in a game with phenomenal 3D controls and platforming and movement physics where the appeal of such a difficulty modifier isn't spoiled by deaths that don't feel like your fault And it’s done in a way that feels accessible, with the option of going back and just, playing more of the game more, if you feel like you need more lives to endure the stage, but odds are if you’ve done all the optional stages you don’t need that many. I got to the end of Utopia Shelter on my second try, with lives to spare.

And yeah, so, anyway. Spark 3. It’s a really good game. It’s got pretty great level design and a great sense of visual style, really good music, good movement except for those damn cars that glitch and start going sideways all the time… I started just doing the car stages on foot because I couldn’t be bothered. But other than those, great game!

And finally;

Bocchi the Rock!

Okay, so I’m not sure what about Bocchi I can say that isn’t already said by other people but y’know what, fuck it, Molly’s convinced me, I’m gonna tell the weird age gap crush story.

So, when we were like, 16, 17, thereabouts, we were presumed a cis boy, and about six entire feet tall, and because of this, non-attentive viewers would often mistake us for a college-age dude. This factor, alongside the color of our skin and the general, uh, emotional neglect, of our parents, lent itself to our delinquencies, i.e., doing basically whatever the fuck we wanted at the expense of getting verbally and/or physically harassed by our parents who weren’t happy with us doing whatever the fuck we wanted but were slowly giving up after whatever point at which they stopped paying for the therapy that didn’t fix this brain immediately. So it was one night, while we were out of the house, as we usually were, talking to people at a charity event for the community org we volunteered for back then, that we saw her.

That woman who played guitar. Who was, back then, about the age we are right now. Maybe a little bit older.

Don’t think I need to describe her elsewise, really!

We had played guitar, too, once, for several years even. But I think we’d given up on music, like, the year before, after our mom harassing us to practice the “right” way made it not fun for us anymore. Seeing that beautiful, talented, very nice, woman almost made us want to try again. Although, we didn’t, because our mom didn’t want us to ever touch an instrument again unless we were truly serious about trying to make money with it, because those lessons are expensive, and I guess that’s one of the many ways we disappointed her, by ostensibly wasting her money.

But anyway, this woman. She was nice. That’s most of what we remember about her. She was a nice, cool, and to our eyes then, pretty, older woman who felt easy to talk to, and seemed to empathize with our anxieties, as, little of them as we felt comfortable telling, and, we were awkward around here and didn’t say much other than to compliment here and to talk about Edgar Wright’s movies, but like, y’know, she was good. She was good. Remembering how she smiled and how she looked at us like… well, probably the same as she smiled and looked at everyone, but still, it seemed like she liked us, or liked having us around. Although, now, being a performing person, we understand it’s kind of in your best interest to smile at everyone who comes to see a show. But. Yeah.

And we knew we never had a chance with this nice older woman, and that our crush on her was inappropriate, but, still… we still thought about this nice, talented, tall, pretty, interesting woman, and how much we wished we could be closer with her, but alas, and curses, age gaps, strike something again. Our heart, most likely, but maybe something else too.

And you know where this is going, don’t you.

Yeah.

[Kikuri Hiroi, a clip]

Kikuri is far, far more unhinged than that woman. The woman we knew was, uh, hinged, enough, to not drink around the absurdly tall and cute 17 year old that kept coming to her gigs for unknown reasons. Kikuri meanwhile is hardly ever seen without a can of sake nearby. And she’s also a bit more, y’know, open, with Hitori-chan, whose face around Kikuri is constantly a mixture of mild terror and grand astonishment. And, yes, Seika and Kikuri, is definitely, the more appropriate ship, and the one more likely to happen in the actual story, if any explicit lesbianism did happen, which I don't expect it to, but Hitori and Kikuri, in my opinion, is much more compelling, precisely because of how inappropriate it is. There’s just something particularly compelling to us, anyway, in the thought of our dead-in-the-water teenage crush, or something adjacent to it, actually going, someplace. It’s true that had we acted on it in real life, assuming we weren’t just rejected and told to abscond permanently, it’d almost certainly have gone extremely badly, for all the reasons it’d have done that, but, y’know, fiction is meant for exploring those culturally taboo fantasies of these sorts without necessarily needing to consider those unsafe and undesirable consequences. Although… you can, cause that’s conducive to drama.

So anyway, as far as, the actual show, goes, I dunno, I think it’s all pretty clear in this moment. This entire surreal bit with the psychedelic rock concert, where Hitori sees Kuroi reach out to her in this imagined intimate moment and whisk her away through this weird and new aspect of music and life experience that she’s not felt before, and it’s just like… Yeah! Yeah, that’s how it felt to us back then, watching that nice older girl on that stage. It was really kind of nostalgic actually. So, there’s one layer of the appeal of Kikuri’s inclusion in the show, Hitori’s feelings for Kikuri as someone who is a mentor figure and has things to teach her. You could say the thing Kikuri has to teach is music, or, something else, and though Hitori isn't eloquent or brave enough to articulate whatever her crazy teenage feelings are, it's clear she… has some! Which are ambiguous enough that they could be interpreted as just her wanting to be like Kikuri, which was also an aspect of our teenage emotions about our cool guitar woman, or that Kikuri playing in front of her triggered a spicy homosexual awakening! Not wrong either way. Though I think it's both.

And the other layer of the appeal is just… well, Kikuri herself. And our adoration of and relation to Kikuri as not just a stand-in for our teenage age gap crush, but also as a character in our age range who is relatable to us as a young adult who feels similarly to her about life!

I don’t think I need to explain that one, but I will anyway.

Kikuri is an alcoholic.

At some point after we turned 21, when it wasn’t us, but Joyce, Joyce discovered alcohol, during one of the low points in our life when we were unstably housed, and gradually started to rely on it a fair bit more than she should have. For a good year or two there, Joyce was drinking off our ass about once a month, sometimes twice, and y’know, just sort of thinking, who cares. If I die, if I lose, if I go out. Who cares. cause I’m not going to! We only really stopped drinking as much as we did because it started costing money and we started finding ostensibly better ways to hurt ourselves, like buying the disc of an ancient Japanese-only doujin game and telling ourselves it’s media preservation. I don’t think we were ever as much of an addict as Kikuri but, just, watching Kikuri, and watching her ruin her life in, basically the same sort of a way, is extremely relatable and gross and eugh

And the whole gosh contrast of THIS WOMAN being Hitori’s mentor figure who she takes her cues from and then embarrasses herself trying to do it

Is just incredible and perfect and gosh

Both these lovely women are both ruining themselves trying to be cool and likable and awesome, and… SUCCEEDING, because, the… the people LIKE the women, ruining themselves! and it’s beautiful.

I’m sorry, it’s beautiful.

Anyway Bocchi good. Bocchi good.

We've been reading the manga of Bocchi since writing that bit, and I think the Bocchi manga is just, for one thing, somewhat inherently let down by not being an anime and not having songs play in it, but, it's got more humor, at least one more crazy adult, and it's got more happening in it, as there is in every manga, and I really like it.

[I had to transcribe this part because I ad-libbed it. - Audrey]

I also like how it goes about, y’know, putting forth the, general, thesis or idea that, you know um, quote, “Rock Touches People’s hearts, because it’s coming from a loser, but you can’t call it rock if it’s from a successful person” Because that’s a- that’s a statement to make. That’s a statement that I’m kind of into. because we’re very not successful and uh. Seeing characters like Kikuri, and Bocchi, and y’know, and her, underground band, and uh, characters like Aiko, and her… Shady Underground Journalism, and the fact that the manga presents all of them, all of these very unsuccessful women, as cool, because they are cool, and that’s, real, rock!

*giggling lightly* uhhhh ahaha and you know but also *mutters sheepishly* please donate to our patreon- *laughs*

And one thing that I’m, one thing that I, one other thing that I really like about the manga is that it, it focuses so much, it’s like- it’s not so school-centric as a lot of other manga about y’know, music teenagers, tend to be, like- They’re not the light music club! They’re- they’re, a real underground band and you know that’s…

That’s freaking cool! *chuckles* That they are, they are, y’know, actually doing concerts for money, and that’s, y’know, it’s about doing the concerts, for money, and about working with adults who also have been doing concerts for money! and drugs *laughing quietly*

And also the fact that so little of it is set inside the school, like, y’know, th-the one moment where like, th-the online journalist writer who’s just like spotlighting, who’s y’know, writing about bands, and looking for Hitori. And then she goes to the school and she’s just like… Kicked out of the school! Because she’s not- she’s… she’s a creep! Who doesn’t belong! In the school! A-And *laughs* And then y’know, in like, another manga where it’s the light music club that that’d just kind of be where the plot… stops! Where that plot line… stops! But she- But then she finds out that y’know, they don’t perform at school, because they’re not a school band, and then, she… goes to the live house… and advances the plot. And is also a kind of… fucked up, self-interested woman, who tries to… sequester Hitori into… agskjhgdkfhkdhjfdddd because she’s afkhjdhkhf she’s interested in money, and promising more than she’s probably able… able to give, she is……

[trails off laughing]

This- this chapter…! This is- This is a scene where, *hiccup* This is a scene where this woman tries to buy Bocchi, buy Hitori, with the promise of exposure! *laughing* That- That is literally: That is the literal description!

[long pause while Audrey gets herself under control]

Okay, I’m done ad-libbing.

One thing I wanted out of the anime, watching the anime, was to see the group grow and expand to the point where they actually do become a famous and successful band. That's basically what I figured it'd head for since, Hitori is already a successful YouTuber, as YouTubers go, and since Nijika said that's where she wanted it to go, that she wants to grow the band and become popular and help everyone reach their dreams. We kind of do have the whole "high schoolers become music celebrities" thing in Love Live, but I'd love to see that sort of thing be done in a way that feels more grounded and believable in a world where people actually seem to worry about money, outside of the fantasy confines of a nationally famous school club, and have it done in a way that the story doesn't stop happening once they graduate! Given how much the story already focuses on adults who are implied to be varying levels of fucked up just as well and seriously as its lead teenage characters who are implied to be varying levels of fucked up, it feels like the sort of story that's kind of made to transition to follow these girls out of their school lives. And I hope it goes there, and I also hope that the anime eventually gets further seasons because the material of the later manga chapters has itself a fantastic foundation if the rest of it is adapted in the same way, so, yeah.

And that's just the feelings I have on that. If you're interested in more bocchi content then um, sakugablog has a couple writeups and translated interviews which talk about the production which is itself its own really interesting story! It also got us to read the manga, because the way that the anime's character designer expresses such passion for Hamaji's work is utterly palpable and gosh things. Also I think it's really funny that Kerorira decided to animate the Bocchi ice bath scene with her wearing a school swimsuit because that adds another deeper layer of hilarious cringe that isn't quite present in the manga version of the scene when you see that she's so mentally conflicted about the merits and demerits of this scheme that she can't bring herself to fully expose her own body to the ice water which would, uh, probably make the intended effect of catching a cold more likely and thus make the plan work better, and also the scene probably couldn't have become as much of a twitter meme if they'd decide to illustrate her without the school swimsuit like the manga does, since then instead everyone would be mentally and sometimes textually debating the merits and demerits of bath scenes in anime, again, except it'd be funnier than that because it'd be about *this* scene and that would be goshdarned hilarious.

I think that’s really kind of it for this one. We’re out of time. So we’ll see everyone next time. And thanks to our patrons.

Brea,

Dorian Newlin

hikari no yume

L Tantivy

pigeon

Sally

Scimitar

And Thijs

And everybody else.

oh wow that was, that was a, that was almost 48 minutes, okay um—

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pjwarriorcats · 2 years ago

Text

Into the Wild

So… what’s the deal with these cat books anyway?

If you’ve spent a decent chunk of time on the internet, you’ve probably encountered them in some form at least once. While by no means the largest fandom on the internet, nor even the largest book series fandom, Warriors fans are pretty prolific, particularly on art-sharing websites and on YouTube.

The series itself began in 2003 with the release of Into the Wild. Since then, the series has only grown tremendously, with over 90 additional chapter books, graphic novels, super editions, guide books, ebook exclusives, and more (quick note for your own reference: I myself managed to read an even 60 of the main series books before I finally gave up). The children’s book series is written by Erin Hunter, a pseudonym shared by a team of writers and editors, currently consisting of Victoria Holmes, Kate Cary, Cherith Baldry, Tui Sutherland, Inbali Iserles, and Clarissa Hutton, and formerly Gillian Philip (fired after a run-in with what she called the “woke warriors” of publishing—more on that at another time). Different books were worked on by different members of the team, so the pseudonym was devised in order to keep them all organized together when placed on a library shelf.

[Alt Text: The cover art for the first Warriors book, with an orange cat sitting in a separate box, against a forested background where two more cats approach each other: Artist credit]

The books are about feral cats who have created an organized society of four Clans (each with around 15-20 cats) for themselves in the woods, complete with traditions, customs, a code of rules to live by, and a religion to follow. Built around this general premise, the series has since followed multiple plotlines, and many different characters have starred as the reader’s point of perspective in each book or arc.

These books hooked their claws into multiple generations of young readers. People found enjoyment in discussing their favorite characters, predicting future events, creating fan artworks, arguing over their favorite Clan and territory, and so much more. Furthermore, the basic premise outline left plenty of room for people to devise their own characters, Clans, and stories. Communities popped up around the internet, filled with people’s original Warrior Cats characters, sharing them with each other, creating artwork and animations, writing fan fictions, drawing comics, and developing stories. Roleplay forums related to these original characters (OCs) began appearing everywhere that they could, anywhere that had even the barest technological capability for it: DeviantArt and Wattpad comments sections, Minecraft multiplayer servers, online MMOs like Animal Jam, even MIT’s Scratch programming website. It was everywhere.

And it still is.

I can’t account for DeviantArt or Scratch anymore; it’s been a long time since I’ve traversed through those forums. But I can say with certainty that the Warriors Community has not stopped talking and creating and sharing what they’ve made since it began. The books are one thing, but it’s the fandom I really find fascinating, even all these years since leaving it.

There’s not really any way to consume every single bit of content created by the fans of the Warrior Cats books; there’s just too much of it. I’ll give you as big and as varied a sample as I can at a later time. There’s some extremely remarkable things out there that they’ve created. But the truth of the matter is that not every piece of media made in Warrior Cats’ honor necessarily deserves to be consumed, nor every creator supported. The series is not free from controversies, ranging from accusations of cultural appropriation, to zoophilia, to ableism, and more, and I hope to discuss some of those, as many as I can, as well.

Long story short: there’s a lot to say about the Warriors fandom. Let’s get into it!

[Alt Text: A digital painting of a large cream cat and a small grey cat running together through a birch forest. Artist credit]

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treybriggsthewriter · 5 years ago

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This makes me nervous, but I’m going to post it. I’m going to try my best to achieve my goals. I’ve put in a ton of work already, so I’m looking for additional help.

From the campaign:

My name is Trey Briggs, and I'm a black woman who writes paranormal horror, speculative fiction, and other types of fiction. You can find my stories at MaybeTrey , Astrid the Devil , and on Instagram , Medium , and Wattpad .

My stories are aimed at black people who want to read dark stories that focus on original black characters that are complex and interesting. I genuinely believe Black audiences deserve a variety of genres to delve into, and I want to introduce them to paranormal horror, dark romance, and fantasy that they haven't gotten enough of in the past. I also believe that this can be done across multiple mediums, and I spend my money with black creative professionals to make these experiences extend beyond my words. For the last two years, I've run my stories on sites and Instagram to great reception. I like to craft complex experiences that offer looks at character backgrounds, side and backstories, full websites for each title, and more. I also provide encyclopedias, maps, audio journals, and other ways to get into each world. During these last few years, I've run into a lot of walls, jumped a lot of hurdles, and tried my best. I've worked with amazing black artists, voice actors, and actresses, musicians, designers, and more. I trust my ability to run a project, especially when it comes to planning and finding talent. My overall goal is to run a team of black creatives that crafts novels, graphic novels, audio experiences, and animated series for a dedicated audience.

Why I Need Help Long story short: I have the skill, I have the marketing/website building/business experience, and I have the drive. There's a lot I can do on my own, but there's also a lot that gets left behind because I don't have the money I need to proceed at a steady pace. I need help with funding so I can focus, hire the right people, and craft these stories the way they deserve to be crafted. I have thus far spent over $60,000 of my own money on my projects over the past two years - the writing and site-building are easy for me; the rest has to be hired out. I have art, site costs for hosting, domains, templates, specific plugins, and maintenance, audio (and vocal artists to pay), musical, and editing costs. I'm by no means rich or even particularly financially stable. I have taken on tons of extra clients for my digital marketing business, transcribed hundreds of hours of audio for dirt cheap, and taken out personal loans. I even worked a second full-time job along with my full-time business last year to afford to produce the content I love. It's starting to take a toll on my mental health. I plan on continuing to fund these projects out of pocket (and finding ways to do so), but having financial help, however big or small, would allow me to move a lot faster and with less stress. It would let me flesh out ideas and concepts that I have had to scrap because I can only physically handle so much extra work. I run a full-time marketing business from home, homeschool my autistic 10-year-old, and generally have a busy life. Some of the strain is taking a toll on me, and I don't want to give up. Having some financial backing could allow me to drop a client or two after a few months and focus on the work I love to do.

How You Can Help I mainly need a start—a sort of base. I want to emphasize that I plan to continue to provide the main bulk of funding for my projects. I know my goals are ambitious, and I know each step will take time and money. I welcome any help to make the process smoother and to get around the initial hurdles. I'd like to have ebooks and novels offered on my site by the end of the year (along with the free serials and stories). Funding means that I can broaden the projects, include more free aspects to my sites, and secure direct financing through sales of ebooks and audiobooks sooner. It also means that I can offer MORE stories, whether they are online only or fully fleshed out novels and sites. I am swamped with trying to work enough to cover all my bills and creative projects, so I lose a lot of time I could spend plotting and writing. If I have better funding, I can get my stories out quicker (and with fewer mistakes).

The Initial Stories Let's talk about my stories! If you're familiar with my work already, you can skip to the next section. My main story site is Maybe Trey . Currently, I have two big titles and a bunch of smaller ones that I am seeking help with funding: Astrid the Devil

Astrid the Devil is the complicated story of a girl who inherits not only her family's features and DNA, but their fears, struggles, and fights. It's the story of a condition called Devil Syndrome, the women who suffer it, and the monsters that devour them. It's the story of the fight to save the people you love at the expense of innocent lives. At its core, Astrid the Devil is the story of a woman who inherits the chaos of three generations before her. It's a look at what is truly passed down to our children, and how they're left to fight our battles in the aftermath of our failures. It's the tale of an indescribable monster and the women who struggle to defeat it. It's a journey into how their every decision could save or destroy an entire world. Astrid the Devil is the story of Astrid Snow, but her story can't be told without the story of the women before her.

Vicious: On MaybeTrey and The Vicious site (in progress)

Somewhere, a war is brewing. That's the only thing that's for sure to Junnie Gorton, a young horned girl suffering from a debilitating disease called Horn Rot. She typically dealt with her low survival rate and abnormally large horns by escaping the world with her best friend, Lewish. Now she's forced to figure out which side is which, save her entire species, and find out the truth behind the sudden uprising in her home. Horn Rot, a highly contagious and violent disease spreading through horned people, is causing mass amounts of madness and death. Normal horns grow in ways that will pierce, suffocate, and maim their owners, and the only one who can stop it is Junnie's mother, Lyria. As Lyria falls deeper and deeper into an anti-social revolt, the country reels. While Junnie broods, her entire species must prepare for mass extinction. Her brother plots with a group of people with less than good intentions and Lewish is quieter than usual. In a civilization brought up on extreme violence and competition, Junnie and Lewish try their best not to get swallowed by their culture, their lives, or their horns.

Bunni and Bosque :

Bunni lives. Bosque dies. We all know how this story starts. Bunni is obsessed with destruction and death. She comes from the healthiest Horned family in her country. She's from the oldest, purest bloodline in the world. And she's bored with it. Bunni spends most of her time trying to escape her duties as a pureblood. She wants things dirty, messy, foul, inconsistent. Having parents that are willing to kill to keep their bloodline pure is annoying. Knowing that she'll live a long, full life, produce more perfect children, and die unscathed is agonizing. Bunni wants something to mourn. We all know how this story ends. Bosque is destined to die an agonizing death, alone on his family's land. He's watched everyone he loved and grew up with perish. Sometimes it was because of their disease. Sometimes it was because of the malice and hatred of others. While he's absolutely withdrawn and satisfied with his life, Bosque has never had a chance to live it. He spends his days basking in the sun, bathing in wood baths, and contemplating the end. Bosque isn't interested in joining the rest of the world. He'd rather die out, alone, where his family belonged. Bosque wants to go peacefully. But neither expected to meet each other one day in a supermarket. Neither expected to fall in love, lust, and every vicious and dirty thing between. Neither expected to be so right for each other, all while being wrong for everyone else. You know the end of this story. Bunni lives, Bosque dies. But maybe something will change.

My smaller titles, Bunni and Bosque /Aite and Jude, can be found at Maybe Trey .

The Business Plan

The initial phase of my business plan is to get the sites populated with ebooks and audiobooks for sale. I also have prints that can be sold. Right now, I am in the audience-building phase while I save up for editing the full novels.

In terms of an actual business with which to publish the stories, I already have a registered publication company in Illinois: Wolfless Studios LLC. I took this step earlier this year with plans to self-publish Astrid and Vicious. So that is paid for and done.

I have also gotten initial editing done on the first six chapters of Astrid, though it will need to be edited from the beginning again once everything is said and done. I've spent over $1000 on that so far, and it would go a lot faster if I didn't need to save up to edit each chapter.

Astrid the Devil is fully plotted, outlined, and only needs the last three chapters. Bunni and Bosque and Vicious are newer, but plotted and already deep into character development (all being shared across social and Wattpad for audience growth). Aite and Jude and other shorts are plotted, and three other unshared stories are plotted and at the editing phase.

Other costs and ways I would use the funding (I would still put in my own money and do as much on my own as possible):

Initial $30K

$6000 - $7000 Line and Copy edits for Astrid (currently at 250000+ words/expecting over 300000 at $0.02 rate)

$6000 - $7000 Line and Copy Edits for Vicious

$3000 - $4000 Line and Copy Edits for Bunni and Bosque

ISBN Purchases (Separate ISBN for each format for each book) - https://www.myidentifiers.com/identify-protect-your-book/barcode

Covers for Astrid/Vicious/B&B Print Versions

Site Hosting Costs and Maintenance for 2 Years

Site completion for all stories

Initial store and app development

40K - Marketing and Graphic Novels

Social, Print, and Web ads

Email Marketing Campaigns

Booths at Decatur Book Festival (depending on COVID)

Social ads and promos

50 to 60 pages

First two chapters offered as free promo with email sign-ups

Audio journals for each character

Situational audio journals

Encyclopedia for Astrid (finishing up)/Vicious

65K - Hires and Next Phases

Ability to hire a Full-Time Editor

Audio Series for each (professionally done)

Vicious Graphic Novel

Additional Title Added

Short animations for both Vicious and Astrid (with plans to fund more with book sales)

Fleshed out Story Sections (Novellas for each character of each series)

Short comic series with Astrid and Vicious side characters

Possible to plan out monthly subscription service with new stories and 'story package' deliveries

75K -

Astrid the Devil Graphic Novel

Vicious Graphic Novel

Astrid the Devil Animated Short

Ability to hire part-time Web Developer

Additional bigger title

Anything Over - I ascend into pure light. And also, I can add titles, cover more mediums, and eventually expand my publishing to other black creatives.

From there, I should be able to handle the funding via sales of books, comics, audio, and more. Again, I will always offer mostly free content across the sites.

I believe in proof of concept, and I have diehard fans on my social platforms. With no outside funding, I've been able to a lot on my own. I'd love to expand my business into one that does the same for other black authors, artists, voice actors, and animators somewhere down the line.

Thank you so much for your consideration. I appreciate all my readers, present and future, and I appreciate any help!

See incentives and more on the actual campaign: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-trey-publish-black-paranormal-horror-stories

Thank you so much!

#support black authors #writeblr #support black creators #black creators #original characters #original story #donate #buy black #black businesses #my writing #Astrid the Devil #Vicious #Bunni and Bosque #Aite and Jude #Trey Briggs the Writer #paranormal horror #speculative fiction #gofundme

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dorkofclanlavellan · 3 years ago

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Hello! I was wondering if I could get a DC (batfam if possible), marvel (the Netflix shows if possible), dragon age and Supernatural matchup? My pronouns are she/her and I’m bisexual.

Personality: I originally come off as quiet, and aloof. It can seem standoffish but I don’t mean it too I just don’t trust very easily and am uncomfortable with strangers/new environments. I am my best when I am by myself or with my closest friends. With my closest friends I’m quite open, fun and talkative especially when talking abt things that interest me. Im quite the good listener as well when it comes to my more extroverted friends. Im also introverted, imaginative, creative, individualistic, reserved, structured and picky in my own way, all sprinkled with a little bit of sarcastic humor.

Hobbies: Digital Art is probably my biggest hobby. If I could I would spend all day at home with my trusty tablet and stylus drawing with an audiobook of my favorite novel/tv show running in the background. Apart from art I absolutely love working out. I kickbox and weight lift most days of the week. Lastly I love spending time at comic book stores and coffee shops.

Interests: I work in the digital media arts and love creative coding, interaction design, and computer graphics. I think my favorite thing is that combination between the artistic and the technological.

Love language: this one is definitely acts of service.

Hope that’s enough and thank you!

Of course! Sorry, it took longer than I'd planned. Me, being an absolute genius, saved it in drafts instead of the queue before going to bed and didn't notice until just now.

DC ~ Jason Todd. (Red Hood) Honestly, I think that after his death and after his stint as a killer, Jason would want to be with someone like you. Reserved and quiet and a good listener. He'd need someone he could turn to outside of a paid therapist. Just someone who's there when he needs them. And not just as emotional support. I personally think Jason's love language is a tie between Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.

Marvel ~ Bucky Barnes. I think the two of you have very similar personalities. Bucky is definitely full of sarcastic humor. Like you he's only really open with the people he's closest to. So when you'd open up to him, he'd understand what that means and be very touched and honored. While Bucky may not understand everything about your hobbies and interests, he'd certainly love to learn. And he'd very much adore listening to you talking about them.

Dragon Age ~ Leliana. Due to being a bard/spymaster, Leliana would look forward to a partner who's more on the reserved side. And someone she could talk to and vent to. I believe Leliana's giving love language is Acts of Service so anything she thinks you might need her to do, she's going to do it.

Supernatural ~ Sam Winchester. Sam would know immediately that you were just reserved and uncomfortable around strangers from the moment you first met. He'd respect any boundaries and be patient for you to get comfortable around him. And when you did, he'd be touched. Sam would love to chat with you and listen to you talk about your interests and your hobbies. He'd see it as a very welcome and peaceful break from hunting and researching.

#supernatural ships #matchup request #matchups #supernatural matchup #dragon age matchup #dragon age ships #batfam matchup #dc matchup #marvel matchup #marvel ship

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lemonpika · 3 years ago

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Hey, hey, hey, Pika! Happy to have you back. How have you been? 🥺

For your event:

-she/her

-Wakatoshi Ushijima (or Kotaro Bokuto, whichever sparks ideas) or Satoru Gojo

-SFW or NSFW—I don't mind either!

-Hobbies: Mountaineering sports (bouldering/climbing/hiking/skiing/skitouring) + scuba diving, creative work (digital art, graphic design) and reading.

-Ideal date: Either something romantic or something adventurous, something that helps with the bonding

-Introverted (INFJ-T)

-Sun: Sagittarius, Moon: Pisces, Rising: Libra

Thank you so much! 🤍

hello my love!!!! i've been well <333 i hope you've been doing good as well! :) Ushirosen is ur ship name bc i thought it sounded cute!! also i checked his wiki and it said he plays in a polish team now so it's euro ushi time B))))

SFW HEADCANONS:

Ushi loves hiking with you! Ever since he moved to Europe, he finds himself getting lost in the woods with you quite often because he gets so engrossed in the scenery

Whenever the two of you go skiing, he'll send you off with a kiss at the top of the slope and greet you with a second kiss when he meets you at the bottom

Since he's so active, he'd definitely take up mountaineering sports as a hobby! But, he mainly enjoys accompanying you on your next big adventure

Other than spending most of your time together outdoors, Ushi prefers to stay at home and will only leave to go to the gym. He enjoys cooking meals for you and will often settle in for the night by reading you his favorite novel (he's so well read like c'mon <33)

The first date he ever took you on was a cute little picnic by a lake that you had to hike a good 30 minutes to get to

Ushi prefers to listen to you rather than dominate the conversation. He loves hearing your voice and always thinks your stories are interesting <3 He'll make small grunts of acknowledgement to let you know that he's listening

He loves kissing your hands and complimenting them. He's a volleyball player, so he's extremely used to observing small details. And to say that your features stun him would be quite the understatement

NSFW HEADCANONS:

Oh boy, he's so ripped. He takes your hand in his gently and guides your fingertips to his firm abs, asking if you like what you see

He's quick to the point and won't shy away from telling you exactly what he wants.

That's not to say that he's against foreplay by any means, however.

He takes his time when he's going down on you, savoring your breathy moans as his tongue pleases you

His thrusts are hard, yet controlled. Definitely enough to drive u crazy <3

send in ur selfships and i'll give u headcanons of ur dynamic <3

#rosen u unlocked my love for ushi omg #ushirosen #self ship event!#pika's mutuals #rosen <3

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thearkhound · 4 years ago

Text

Kojima Cinema Vol. 5: Tykho Moon and Bande Dessinée

Greetings from Kojima Cinema, But We Missed Out On The Fifth Element

Coincidentally two new movies were released recently by French filmmakers who were inspired by French comic books, so I planned on covering both of them and write about French films and comics (Bande Dessinée), but unfortunately I wasn't unable to attend a screening for The Fifth Element, so I ended up covering only one movie in this issue.

Watching Tykho Moon From Parco Space 3

I saw Tykho Moon at the Parco Space 3 theater. The truth is that this place holds a bitter memory for me. Earlier this year I went to see Death Drive starring Kimika Yoshino and even though it was the last showing of its opening day, somehow I ended up being the only audience. In a theater designed to hold an audience of 200, it was just me! It was just like Cinema Paradiso! I couldn't relaxed thinking about the projectionist and how he was going through the trouble of showing the film just for me and became nervous. I didn't believe my luck when I ended up seeing Tykho Moon on that same theater. The popularity of Enki Bilal, director and writer of Tykho Moon, is alive and well even in Japan.

A Historical Sci-Fi That's Not Futuristic

Tykho Moon does not employ any trendy CGI and special effects (perhaps with the sole exception of the lunar surface scene at the end). It's a historical sci-fi closer to the likes of Alphaville by Jean-Luc Goddard, the Ultraseven episode "Nightmare of the Fourth Planet" by Akio Jissoji, The Element of Crime by Lars von Trier, and Solaris by Andrei Tarkovsky. More than just being a low-budget sci-fi film, it's an allegory that takes the form of sci-fi to highlight a certain theme. Perhaps it might be seen as a fresh breath of air to an audience that's fed up with sci-fi movies that over-rely on CGI and special effects.

A Movie That is Bilal-like, yet un-Bilal-like

Tykho Moon is a movie that very much like Bilal, but also unlike him. The rich colors that stands out inside a colorless ruins... The desolated city, the multilayer shadows, a world with a sense of helplessness, the quirky characters, the oppressed citizens, and so on... This is exactly what Bilal is as a French graphic novel author. On the other hand, I get the impression that the direction and camera work is quite different. The long takes and flow of utilizing pauses between scenes are additions to his unique style as a film director. You can see it as recording a movie as a different means.

Characters Straight From A BD

What surprised me about the actors in the movie was that they strongly resembled the characters from the original French graphic novel, to the point that it seems as if they came out directly from it. Perhaps Bilal, as a person who uses the faces of his actors as canvasses, or rather as part of the scenery or props, to express his own imagination, has full knowledge of people's faces. Johan Leysen and Marie Laforet in particular strongly resembled the original characters, that I was convinced that they were given special makeup!

My Encounter with Enki Bilal

Just like Moebius and his work on Alien, I first got to know about Enki Bilal through a movie. It was a B-movie I saw by chance when I was a student titled The Keep, directed by Michael Mann. I went to see another movie, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, and they were being shown together as a double feature. Bilal was responsible for designing the monster in The Keep. Afterward, I would encounter his name again Jean-Jacques Annaud's The Name of the Rose and it was only after I've joined the company that I started to read Bilal's own graphic novels.

About Bande Dessinée

Bande Dessinee, or BD for short, is the French term for comic books. The pricing, binding, user base and type of content are all very different from their American counterparts. Whereas American comics have a strong sense of characters, French BDs have a strong sense of storytelling and authorship. Dark and cynical at times, they have enough content to be appreciated by adults. They're not aimed at kids, but are the closest thing to art in terms of print entertainment. They're in a position similar that animation and gekiga [a dramatic sub-genre of manga] has in Japan.

Aiming for a BD in the Game industry

For one of the advertisements for Metal Gear Solid, we came up with the tagline "a 3DGC Bande Dessinee". It's not just because we love French graphic novels and we're trying to recreate their dark universes (not the light colors of something like Moebius, but a chaotic world with a more Eastern European depth) with emphasis on shading with Metal Gear Solid. There's another reason.

The Reason to Call It a 3D Bande Dessinée

In France, BDs are clearly a rank above the realm of comics in the status of entertainment (they're even referred to as the nth art or something like that) [Kojima is likely referring to BDs being the ninth art]. The same could be said about manga in Japan. Before the war, they were just four-panel strips and satires. It was none other than the great Osamu Tezuka, who evolved manga into a storytelling reading material. The story manga would evolve into its present form as the gekiga, with a more social aspect added by titles such as Kamui Den by Sampei Shirato. Manga has already become grown-up entertainment that has reached a cultural level. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for videogames.

From Playthings to BD

My hope is to elevate gaming into the next step of entertainment and not just be mere toys. Not tools to waste time, but digital interactive media. I aim for the sort-of game where its worldview, story, characters, themes and reality are not just there to have fun while forgetting the time, but also to use your moment of enjoyment to add feedback into your life in a positive way. That's the hope I packed into the tagline "3DCGBD".

Source

Game Hihyо̄ Vol. 17 (November 1997)

#hideo kojima #enki bilal #tykho moon #kojima cinema #metal gear solid

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honeyzen · 4 years ago

Text

domesticated - k.d

genre: smut, petplay

words: 4.4k

warnings: kitten!play, dom doyoung, choking, unprotected sex (use protection!)

The sky outside darkened a midnight blue as you sat quietly on the couch, watching shapes and colours contort on the television. Your mouth widened in a yawn as shuffling footsteps wandered over from the kitchen, they gently pattered until your boyfriend Doyoung appeared from behind a wall. His eyes darted around the room as he set a bowl of popcorn on the table, fingers curling around a piece before he lumped down beside you. His tall frame slumped on the sofa, arm nearest to you stretching around, giving you the room the snake around his torso. Cosying into Doyoung you felt his fingers bury into your waist, his other hand reaching over and grabbing the remote. You felt the rumble of a pondering sigh, Doyoung beginning to flick through the channels as he always did. He was indecisive, easily bored and on nights like this, where neither had work the next day or a reason to protest, you knew how it would end.

Even the night you met he was like this.

In college, you had found it difficult to bond with anyone. Parties were too loud, being alone in your dorm was too quiet, balancing the two was near impossible. Especially when you hadn’t had much experience with people or being away from home in the first place. In the end, you relied heavily on your roommate to take you out and show you the way of the world. And she tried her hardest, it’s just that not much of it interested you though you did try your best.

After another night sat in the quietest room of a frat party, you began to feel despondent to the entire college experience altogether. You flicked through the books in the bedroom you’d barricaded yourself in, sighing when a porno magazine fell from between two classic novels. You bent over to pick it up, skirt riding high although it didn’t seem to matter alone in the room. As your fingers grabbed the corner as to avoid any residue that may linger between pages, you heard the oak door behind you open wide. A panic washed over you, heat rising to your cheeks as you half expected to spin around and find a drunken couple wanting to consummate. Instead, as you turned, while holding the magazine behind your back cautiously, you saw a sober looking man stood in the doorframe.

The blush hanging over your cheeks only intensified. His stature was large, shoulders broad in his blue, baggy jumper. Eyes big and brown, dark hair falling into his eyes as his slender fingers came up to brush it away. You stood speechless as his bottom lip became hooked beneath his teeth, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment before he stepped into the room. Your chest felt thick with embarrassment. You kept the magazine pressed tightly to your back, stepping back and the man stepped forward.

‘Sorry, I thought this room was free.’ You said quietly.

‘Uh, no, no, it’s fine honestly, I just um, usually keep my bedroom off limits while there’s parties. I like it, clean, don’t want people you know, in my bed.’ The man whispered, and despite the loud music, you could hear his every low toned word perfectly.

‘Understandable. I’m really sorry, I just kinda wanted to get out the way of everyone,’ you chuckled nervously, ‘I don’t really like parties that much.’

‘Like I said, it’s fine.’ The man smiled wide, exposing a gummy grin that only made you blush further. ‘I’m Doyoung by the way.’ He finished, reaching his hand out to shake yours.

Instinctively, you lurched forward. The magazine slipping out of your grip for just a moment, but long enough for it to drop to the ground. It splayed open on the carpet, thudding wide to the centre fold. Your chest tightened; stomach burned. You couldn’t bare to look back at what Doyoung was seeing.

‘I’m so sorry.’ You apologized quickly.

‘Where was that?’

‘Um, on the bookshelf, between Dracula and Wuthering Heights. It kinda just fell out, I, um, wanted to read.’ You laughed at how ridiculous you sounded.

‘Oh, right.’ Doyoung managed somehow to look more worried than you, his fingers scratching at his head. As his arm raised up, so did his jumper, revealing the soft toned torso beneath. You felt yourself tighten.

‘Look, I’m sorry, I should let you get to bed or,’ you mumbled as quickly as you could, wishing to vanish from the building altogether. You spun on your heels once again, bending down to pick up the magazine and return it to its owner. However, when you did, you actually saw what was sprawled across the pages.

A woman was sat on a red, leather sofa in a pristine lingerie, her privates covered though the sheerness left nothing to the imagination. Her arms were twisted behind her back, threaded together perfectly with thick, crimson rope. Her legs were wide open on the sofa, still covered in the same beautiful rope but this time only for aesthetic purposes. The expression on her face was that of pleasure, eyes closed, mouth wide kind of pleasure. Her makeup and hair was immaculate, untouched. It was a beautiful image, the kind that could have gotten away with being in an art gallery.

Confusion waved over you. The expectation of seeing unrealistic, graphic depictions of two women or a woman and a man had been dashed. There was only a soft, artistic image that left you with no words, only a deep yearning that maybe one day, you could be that woman. Clearly desired, clearly within someone’s control but beautiful and immaculate all the same.

Doyoung let out a withering sigh as you lifted the magazine and turned to face him. He stepped closer, fighting back the urge to rip the magazine from your grasp and throw it underneath his bed. Doyoung waited for you to wrinkle your face in disgust, to snicker at the image but nothing of the sort happened. Instead, you began to flick through the images. Turning your head to see all the sideward pages, tracing your fingers over the threads of rope that where consistent throughout the entire magazine. You pondered at it as though it were an art magazine, you seemed to appreciate it as one. Doyoung was gobsmacked.

After a few moments, you closed the magazine, handing it over to Doyoung. He gently took it from you, his fingers dancing over yours for a moment before the heat of his digits disappeared.

‘It’s beautiful.’ You said without thinking.

‘What?’

‘Um, it’s beautiful.’ You repeated.

‘Yeah, yeah, it is.’ Doyoung concurred nervously, staring at your features as they twisted in thought.

‘Do people actually do that? Or is it just for the pictures?’

‘You mean the, the rope?’ Doyoung asked politely as you merely nodding back shyly, your lip between your teeth.

‘I think I’d like to try it.’ You admitted, looking up at Doyoung to find his eyebrows scrunched in disbelief. ‘With you, please.’ You finished, not quite understanding what you’d asked for, but knowing in your gut that it felt right.

Nearly two years later and you were still trying out so many different, new things with Doyoung. When you met, you were both shy. Wrapped up in desires both of you thought no one but you had, but meeting each other, it gave you both the outlet you desperately needed. You often looked for things to try, often on nights like this when you both had time to kill. Whether it was between the pages of magazines or online, you found that both you and Doyoung had an endless stream of erotic things you wanted to try.

A ritual you’d created early into your relationship was looking at the trending page of a porn site, rooting around for something you hadn’t already done a thousand times and trying it. No pre-judgements, no reservations, just trying something to see the outcome. There were times when you or Doyoung decided the thing was not for you but often enough, both of you found that whatever you did, as long as it was with each other, it was perfect. This ritual however meant that things often got a little taboo which didn’t bother either of you but there was a certain stigma to some things and sometimes that did give you reservations. Out of an ingrained habit that was built into all people, when you saw something strange, it took a lot to try it. But with Doyoung, you never felt uncomfortable.

Doyoung sighed from beside you signally that he could find nothing to watch and so, the ritual begun.

You peered up at him, eyes big and doe. Doyoung waited for a moment before looking down and smiling warmly. ‘You wanna choose something tonight?’

Your mouth lifted to smile back at him, nodding happily, hands almost snatching the remote from your boyfriend. He chuckled. Usually you both picked, though really, you’d go along with whatever Doyoung wanted. Letting you choose without protesting was a special occasion and it made you light up like nothing else. You opened up the website on the television, still shy about looking at such lewd things in front of someone else on a large scale. The screen became sodden with erotic video links and dirty advertisements, all clearly made by men who knew nothing about women. You tutted to yourself, flicking down through the pages and pages until something towards the bottom left caught your eye.

‘Naughty kitten punished.’

With eyebrows knotted you turned to Doyoung. ‘Is this really a thing? Dressing up like a cat, I mean, I know I’ve done it for Halloween but for, fucking?’

‘Of course, it is. If you can think of it, there’s probably porn made of it.’ He retorted with a smirk wiped across his lips.

‘I don’t like that sentiment.’

‘So, that’s a no?’ Doyoung peered, careening his head to stare his umber orbs into yours. His grip around your side tightened a little, allowing you to feel the warmth emanating from beneath his black t-shirt. From habit, you closed your eyes, enjoying the small circles he drew into your hip.

‘Well?’

‘I, I mean, it’s weird, right? Dressing up like an animal?’ You said sceptically.

‘Obviously, but it’s not out of the league of what we’ve done before.’ Doyoung added.

‘I guess.’

‘It’s your call, princess.’

‘Uh, I mean, I have the costume… maybe it’d be nice to get some use out of it?’ You felt yourself defending your ideas, ideas that you knew deep down Doyoung would never judge. And yet, the shame of desire was so engrained in you, that you could not help it.

‘Let’s go get you dressed then.’ Doyoung smiled, standing from the couch, his stature above you like a skyscraper. You fought back the urge to reach out for his jean button right then and instead smiled to yourself with sparks alight in your mind.

‘Maybe I should go alone, if you come, we’ll never get back out the bedroom.’ You taunted standing up beside Doyoung. His smile lowered as yours grew ten-fold. You found your hands resting on Doyoung’s wide shoulders, pushing him back slightly until he sat back against the sofa. His legs widened, back slumping, as though inviting you to sit atop him, instead, you began walking to the bedroom, a chuckle leaving your mouth.

After sulking into the bedroom, you shared with your boyfriend, you began the hunt for the outfit you’d worn once and long forgotten. While it was true that Doyoung accompanying you would’ve lead to something before you’d be able to grasp the costume, you also needed to root through your messy wardrobe for it. Which was, undoubtably, a mood killer. Through grumbles and profanities, your hands dived through piles of clothes, each pile loosely organised by occasion. Dating Doyoung meant that the fancy dress pile was rather large and took some time to sift through. Until, almost at the bottom of the pile, two clip on ears poked out. As you grasped them, the soft fur tickled your palm, their deep brown nearly matching Doyoung’s eyes. Beneath the ears was a pink, leather collar that Doyoung had gifted you separate from the costume and to match, you pulled a set of pink, lacy lingerie from another messy pile.

You tugged down your sweatpants and removed the hoodie you’d stolen from Doyoung earlier in the day and pulled the pink lace over your head. The soft material felt like warm honey on your skin, and perfectly covered your body enough that you felt like the woman in that magazine. After slithering the undies up your bare legs, you grappled the ears once more. With fur between your fingers, you attached them high on your head, staring in the mirror at how sweet the clips looked. You smiled strangely excited for what you had been a little weirded out at first.

Staring down at your collar, a thought came to you, bringing warmth to your loin. You wandered over to a set of draws by the bed, heaved open the bottom section and pulled out a chain leash, the metal clasps jingling as you did so. Your smile grew as you flattened your hair and prepared yourself.

Timidly, you tiptoed back into the living room, head low as you approached where Doyoung still sat. With open palms, you knelt before your boyfriend, raising the items that sat atop your hands. After a few moments of silence, you peered up gently, looking over his face for any kind of emotion.

‘Look down.’ He muttered sullenly.

You followed his order immediately, keeping your palms up but eyes toward the hardwood floor. After another moment, the weight of the chain and collar disappeared and Doyoung’s feet came into your view and moved behind you. Though a cautious wave of anxiety rolled through your stomach, you still remained staring at the floor in silence. A sigh passed through your lips as cold fingers brushed your hair aside and cool leather pressed against your throat. Doyoung’s cold digits appeared again as he buckled up the collar and latched on the chain leash to hold you in place.

His hand remained low of the chain, gripping it so tight that it choked you slightly but still, you stared at the ground, motionless. A low snicker came from behind you, making your stomach swirl and tighten as moisture moved toward your heat. It was torture not to turn and look at him but following his orders was more important. You waited for what felt like forever until a palm mellowed over the top of your head, soothing over your hair, and following over the ears. Doyoung’s frame moved around you, allowing for you to see his lower legs once more and just knowing he was there, that he was the one touching you made it harder not to look up.

‘Look up at me baby.’ Doyoung finally said.

Your head snapped up immediately, big eyes staring desperately toward Doyoung and the grin smeared across his face. The confidence clearing instilled in him was terrifying and so, so arousing. You mewled, Doyoung raising his eyebrows as he smoothed over your head once more. From instinct you pushed your head up into his palm, nuzzling close to feel warmth from him.

‘My good kitten.’

A warmth filled your lower region, burning with every moment Doyoung touched you in any way. Until suddenly, a large heave bevelled through your body, the chain rattling as you were forced to push into Doyoung’s legs. Your hands leant atop his feet, wide eyes begging him to do something, anything. Doyoung merely grinned, tugging on the chain once more as he sat back on the couch and pulled you between his legs. Your features faced his crotch, mouth only a few inches from his covered length that tented his tight jeans. Just seeing you knelt before him, perky ears and collar and pink lace made him unimaginably hard and Doyoung struggled to compose himself. One more tug on your leash and your chin came to sit above his thigh. Doyoung released the chain, sitting it beside himself as he moved his fingers to his jeans.

You felt yourself smile, knowing what was to come. Pushing your face against his thigh, you purred, nose nuzzling into his clothed muscles. Doyoung let out a splintered moan, coaxing you to continue. As you did, you heard the undoing of a zip and rustling of thick material. The silence that settled in after is what made you look up, your eyes widening as you saw Doyoung holding his member tightly, slowly moving his hand up and down. He kept his darkened gaze locked upon you. Moving his other hand, Doyoung cupped your cheeks, soothing his thumb over the blush that painted your skin. His fingers moved slowly until he danced them to the back of your neck, his grip tightening and forcing your face forward. He pulled violently until you were face to face with his length.

‘Go on, kitten.’ Doyoung whispered.

He pushed his length toward you slightly, allowing your lips to engulf the tip and sink down the shaft. Doyoung let his head fall back against the sofa pillow and a low growl fall from his mouth. His noises only propelled you to continue, head bobbing up and down quickly as his member began to hit the back of your throat. It burnt, a kind of burning that travelled all the way down to your core, that was beginning to drip with desire. You lifted your hands and placed them atop Doyoung’s thighs for stability. Doyoung gripped your hair, twisting it into a makeshift ponytail and using it to control your pace. The tightness spread all over your body and ached in your loin. A need for Doyoung to be buried deep within you exploded.

The speed became relentless as you peered upward, staring at Doyoung’s scrunched up features; small, rhythmic groans pouring from his lips. You longed to kiss him, to nuzzle your fuzzy ears into the crook of his neck. You wished to be his pet forever.

‘Baby, stop, stop.’ Doyoung repeated frantically, pulling your mouth off his length by your hair. You understood why he stopped, for he wanted to be within you just as much as you wanted him inside you, but the loss of contact hurt, nonetheless. Spit dribbled from your lips, lining from Doyoung’s member to your mouth. He groaned low once more as you mewled, staring up at him with pleading eyes.

Watching from the ground, Doyoung pushed his hard member back in his jeans, sat up straight and patted his lap. You nearly leap up, pouncing onto Doyoung like the kitten you were pretending to be. With legs either side of him and arms slung over his shoulders, you waited. His expression twisted into a smirk, a devilish thought swirling around his mind.

‘Lie down on me, ass up.’ He muttered sternly. You watched his eyes for a further moment before Doyoung raised his eyebrows and nodded downward at his lap. You lifted yourself slightly and flipped over, placing your waist in Doyoung’s lap. Your face burrowed into the couch, feet kicking the edge of the seat and heat pressing directly onto Doyoung’s still stiff length. After a second, you felt as your boyfriend pulled your lace underwear down your thighs, cold fingers dragging over your skin. He lingered them back up to your ass, spreading his palm wide over the flesh. Doyoung kept it there for a moment, still and gentle, your stomach settling before suddenly, his touch disappeared and reappeared with a sharp, jolting sting.

A yelp came spurting out your lips, a chuckling emanating from Doyoung as again, his touch left and smacked back down. You mewled helplessly, another slap.

‘Count for me, okay kitten, five more.’ He said softly, swaying his hand over your red, hot skin before once more, lifting it and slapping it back down. A gasp escaped your throat.

‘One.’

Doyoung chuckled again, forcing down a particularly devilish spank.

‘Two.’

Your ass burnt painfully, the side that Doyoung had been slapping beginning to feel bruised and swollen. It was beautiful, and as another hit pummelled down upon you, a wave of pleasure rippled through you.

‘Three.’

Another.

‘Four.’

Doyoung soothed over your skin one more time as he lifted his hand and brought it down mercilessly. You yelped once more, feeling the other side burn just as the first. A small tear spat from your eye, trickling down your cheek and dripping onto the couch below.

‘Five.’ You croaked.

You lay down for a moment, air aggressively attacking your bruised ass as Doyoung removed his hand and placed into on the back of your thigh. He gently stroked the skin, giving you a few moments to catch your breath and recuperate.

Doyoung held onto your upper arm, pulling you up to kneel beside him. A finger coming up to swipe away a stray tear.

‘Do you wanna stop? We can?’ He enquired softly; eyes tender as his hand careened your jaw.

‘Fuck no.’ You said, leaping over once more to sit back in Doyoung’s lap, legs either side of his and lips reaching forward to kiss the man beneath you. With mouths collided, you wrangled your arms around Doyoung’s shoulders, his tongue darting between your lips and exploring your mouth. Instinctively, you began playing with the hair on the back of his neck, pulling slightly so Doyoung tilted his head back. You took advantage of the position, dragging your lips down to kiss and nibble at his slender neck. Doyoung groaned, his hands wandering to the underwear that still sat at your thighs, pulling them lower until they could no longer move. You felt the material dig into your flesh, stuck in their current position. While you wanted your bare heat to sit against Doyoung, you dreaded the idea of moving. He tugged again, helpless.

‘Rip them, rip them please, please.’ You begged, merely wanting to feel him beneath you, desperate for any pressure or friction against your heat.

‘Sure?’

‘Do it.’

Doyoung wrapped his fingers around one side of the fragile, lacy material and heaved it apart. The sound of ripping filled the room as Doyoung groaned, moving the material away as finally, he had access to your core. You felt the bulge in his jeans harden once more, pressed tight to the wetness that was pooling from within you. It burnt to be so close but separated by the already unzipped jeans. Doyoung held your hips, pushing you down to tease. A whimper fell from your lips.

‘Aw, is my kitten desperate? What does she want?’

‘You, please, I want you.’ You mumbled, unable to speak properly from sheer desperation.

‘Want me? To do what?’

‘I want you to fuck me! Please, fuck me!’ You almost screamed helplessly, Doyoung merely grinning, proud he had made you so desperate.

With his hands on your hips, Doyoung pushed you backwards further down his thighs. Giving him enough room to pull his jeans below his waist, allowing his hard member to spring gently from the material. It clung, pressed between his groin and your heat, that had, by now, created a wet patch on Doyoung’s trousers. You pushed upward, kneeling as you moved back up the thighs below you. Doyoung held your waist with one hand and with the other, moved his member to the entrance of your core. He was moving slow, but you wanted him, wanted him buried within you. And so, you pushed downward, feeling as you sunk onto Doyoung and he disappeared within you.

Doyoung let out a moan as you whimpered. The feeling of him inside you, putting pressure against you was intoxicating, so intoxicating that you could not move for a moment. As you began moving, slowly up and down Doyoung’s length, every inch of him burnt against every inch of you. The man below held desperately onto your hips, pulling you up and down to take complete control of the pace. The rhythmic tempo made a coil of pleasure begin to spin in your stomach, the grip upon you tight and almost painful. Another whimper fell from your lips as Doyoung let his head tilt back in pleasure. You shook, placing your hands upon his shoulders for stability, body nearly slumping against him.

His fingers began to trail up your body, tracing the pink, sheer lace that covered your breasts, swirling past and up your throat. His journey stopped, fingers halting and spreading up against your skin as he grappled the chain that attached to the collar. You let a loud moan explode into the atmosphere as you lifted yourself up and down Doyoung’s member, the pleasure in your loin beginning to burn. Low growls fell from Doyoung’s mouth, filling your ears like music as his grip upon you, both on your waist and collar, tightened. Air tightly passed through your windpipe, head spinning as you arched yourself quicker upon Doyoung. He growled loudly, his face scrunching up in pleasure as you felt him release inside of you, the warm liquid applying even more pressure inside your heat. The hot, wet feeling made you complete, and you felt yourself tighten and spasm on his member.

A last, prolonged mewl fell from your lips as you ceased your movements, still sat upon Doyoung’s member. His tempered sighs filled the room, grip on your collar loosening and hand falling back to your waist. You fell into Doyoung. Chests pressed together as sweat mixed like a cocktail of pleasure and sleepiness. Doyoung wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close, your cheek pressed flush against the crook of his neck. While holding you, Doyoung lifted slightly, giving him enough room to remove himself from your heat. A stifled moan fell from both of you, heat swelling around the room. You sighed, sleepy upon your equally tired boyfriend.

‘That was nice.’ You whimpered in a hushed tone.

‘It was, wasn’t it?’ Doyoung agreed, your head tilting upward to stare into his big, doe eyes. ‘C’mon kitten, let’s go and get you cleaned up and in bed.’ He soothed, fingers weaving through your hair as you purred once more against his chest. Nuzzling into him as your ears nudged his chin.

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