#i mean i did do french in school for like 6 years

[hollyslangblr]

it is so easy for me to get the urge to start learning a language jesus christ😭 i was just watching a twitch stream where chat started talking about german and now i really wanna learn german

[imflyingfish]

Worst thing about learning a new language of my own violation though is that its made me a fucking nerd. I just found my friend's flashcards on quizlet and got excited. I get excited to hear some french words in everyday conversation. When my friends are reading a book i have to resist the urge to go WHAT LANGUAGE IS THAT. Im just super excited to consume french and spanish language and phrases and im a fucking nerd about it now

[imaginaryf1shots]

My Girls (IX) | Max Verstappen

Words count: 1K

Driver!OC x Max Verstappen

Summery: Cecilia Hansson daughter of a Swedish billionaire, a race car driver, with a dream of making it big in Formula 1. However she has a few secrets that may hurt her as women are disliked in the sport.

Series Warnings: google translated french, dutch, cursing, child abandment, absent father, drinking, car accidents, Jos Verstappen, misogyny, Christian horner (tell me if i missed anything)

This is a secondary blog so I won't be able to respond but I'm adding you all to the taglist.

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DADDY

2022

In French

It's well established that Nathalie LOVES Max, after her mother she loves him the most. Now the girl was old enough to realise that Max came into her life after she was born and that he isn't her dad. As she's been told to call him Max(indirectly), by everyone, even Max. But three years in his relationship with Cecilia and with two years of living together Max became a very important part of her life. Nathalie doesn’t remember life before Max, she got so used to him that when he and Cecilia are away she misses him as much as he misses her mum.

"Maman." The young girl of 6 whispers as her mum sat on her bed reading her a story. Cecilia looked up hearing the timid tone in her daughter’s voice, Nattie showed her usual telltale of being nervous, she was playing/fidgeting with a plushy that Max won for her in an amusement park and she was avoiding eye contact.

"What is it, mon ange?" Cecilia asked and gently brushed Natties hair out of her face.

"Max-Max isn't my dad right?" A few things came into Cecilia’s mind, first Nathalie is speaking in French, which Max knows a bit but it isn't his strongest language, and she certainly wasn't expecting this, she stopped from answering right away thinking it over, she was trying to think where this came from. It's never been a secret that he isn't, biologically at least and she thought that Nattie understood that.

"No he isn't my love, why are you asking?" Cecilia's mind ran a 1000 times an hour thinking everything over. "Did someone say anything?"

"Not really." Nattie shook her head before she pouted and stopped playing/fidgeting with her plushie, her blue eyes meeting her mother's. "Don't dad's drop their kids off at school?"

"Sometimes, they do." Cecilia had no idea where this was going.

"They play with their kids."

"Yes."

"They buy them things."

"Yeah."

"They go swimming?"

"Uh-huh."

"They teach them how to cart and how to do things?"

"Yeah."

"And they cook them breakfast and help them brush their teeth and pick their clothes."

"They do my love, why are you asking all this?"

"Well Max does all this, doesn't that mean he's my dad?" Cecilia's heart broke for her little girl, she grew up in a loving family with both her parents together. She can't imagine what Nattie is feeling, some part of her feels guilty. Should she have talked to her and explained everything that has to do with her bio dad? Nevertheless she's forever glad for Max for filling that part in Natties life. He does treat her like a dad would, he’s so selfless taking her in like his own despite being in his early twenties at the time and just giving her pure unconditional love, his family taking her in as their own.

“Do you want him to be your dad?” Cecilia softly asks and she leans down so she’s able to meet Nathalie’s eyes, Nattie shyly nods, Cecilia smiles reassuringly. Her and Max haven't talked about the possibility of him being Natties dad but he had the question on the tip of his tongue a few times, she could tell each time but didn't want to pressure him into asking, she thought he'd eventually ask her but it looks like her impatient daughter beat him to it first. “Do you want to ask him?”

“Yes.” Nattie whispers, she looks nervous but Cecilia knows that that’s what Nattie has been after all along, she wants her mother to confirm that it’s okay to ask Max to be her dad, that her feelings are correct, she hasn’t been reading into it too much.

“Do you want to ask him now?” Max was in their shared bedroom getting ready for bed last she left him, with one last nod from Nattie, both of them left Nathalie’s bedroom and crossed the hallway to the master bedroom the drivers shared. walking in Max was already in bed, he had his back to the headboard looking at something on his phone with the lights dimmed. Nathalie races to the bed and gets on before she crawls up the bed to where Max is.

“Hey there, schatje, I thought you were going to sleep.” Max asks and opens his arms for the girl who instantly snuggles into his side, after she gets under the covers. “Do you want to stay with Mummy today?”

“No.” Nathalie says with a small smile.

“No?” Max is amused yet a tad bit confused, Nathalie rarely sleeps with Cecilia now, when she was younger she would sleep with them every once and a while but since they moved in together it became less and less now.

“I want to sleep with daddy.” Cheeky, Cecilia thought, Nathalie looked like she would be too scared to ask before they came in the room but look at her now. Max looked at Cecilia with wide eyes, she was standing just in the room, she was grinning at her boyfriend, who looked surprised. Max then turned to look at Nathalie who was nervous.

“What did you call me?” Max had to be sure, he could be too tired, he could have misheard, this could be a mistake, a slip of the tongue.

“Daddy.” She whispered again, Max pulled her on his lap and just hugged her, her face his in his neck as she wrapped her arms around his shoulder.

“You want me to be your dad?” Max asked, his voice wavering, it’s rare to see Max this emotional, but his voice is heavy as he asked Nattie.

“Yeah, can you be my dad… please?” Nattie asked both Max and Cecilia could tell that the girl is tearing up, Cecilia’s own eyes filled with tears as did Max’s.

“Yeah, definitely, if you want me to.” Max pulled back enough to see her face and it was already wet, her blue eyes looking up at him with so much love and innocence, this is a young girl who always wanted a dad and he’s beyond willing to fill that role for her.

“I do.” Nattie dragged the ‘o’ out as she cried, a sob leaving her mouth making Max pull her back in for a hug, Cecilia moved to the bed sitting beside them her hand fell onto Max’s thigh in comfort.

“I love you so much, schatje, it’ll make me the happiest man to be your dad.”

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Taglist:

@luciaexcorvus . @vellicora . @tpwkstiles . @belennasif . @eugene-emt-roe . @fanboyluvr . @fangirl125reader , @christianpulisic10 . @belennasif . @itsjustkhaos . @crashingwavesofeuphoria . @mynameisangeloflife . @mirrorball-6 . @skynel09

[wordsofelie]

Chapter 7

🌅Don’t you dare runaway (A Phoenix and Ashes Sequel)

Miya Osamu x f!reader

Summary: Miya Osamu thinks some things will never change— Atsumu will always be annoying; his Ma’s food will always be the best and you will always be his favourite sunrise.

Content Warnings: Timeskip Setting, Manga Spoilers, ex!Suna, Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Mention of Sex Scenes (No Description)

Words count: 5.4k

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 8

“How’s Tokyo?”

It’s only a few words, barely a full sentence. However, it took Osamu a whole fifteen minutes to write and almost a face-first collision with the glass door of Tokozu, his favourite kitchen knife store in Osaka. The man found the exercise harder than any literature essay he ever had to do in high school (and Osamu, despite being named after a famous novelist, was never fond of literature). But now, the message is sent and there’s no going back.

His meditation instructor as well as one red-haired hitter, told him he should stop overthinking, and for the last month, Osamu thinks he did a good job at calming his stormy mind. But it’s different now, you’ve been in Tokyo for three days (or what feels like six months, at least to him), and apart from the message to ask you if you arrived safely (which you did), Osamu hasn’t contacted you in 72h. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he just needs to give space. He told you how he feels, exposed his fragile heart to you, and now what you do with it is your decision and yours only.

Still, Osamu wants to act casual like before (and also shows that he cares), something he hasn’t been good at for the past months. You miss the old Osamu, the friend you could always rely on, the one who wouldn’t mind letting food burn on the stove if you needed him. Maybe it’s time for that man to come back.

Thus, this morning, as he strolls through the streets of Osaka, heading to the store, he sends you those few words.

“Good morning, Sir,” a forty-year-old something greets him when he enters. “May I help you with something?”

Osamu’s eyes wander all around the shelves before describing what he is looking for.

“There’s a couple of knives that could meet your requirements.” The man starts showing him various options when Osamu’s phone buzzes in his pocket.

It’s you.

The younger man excuses himself and runs towards the exit. He waits two or three rings before answering.

“Hey,” he says, clearing his throat.

“Osamu,” you tell his name, his heart skips a beat (or a thousand). “How are you? Is this a good time to call?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I was just in town to buy a new knife for the fish.”

“Oh, maybe I should call later then-”

“No!” He cuts you off, someone passing by is startled by his sudden outburst. He avoids their gaze, “It’s fine now. So… how have ya been?”

“I’m great,” you reply, and he can hear the excitement in your voice, “I love it here. The JVA offices are in that huge building in Omiya, and everyone is wearing suits and there’s even a bakery on the ground floor, so I usually take something there and go to the park. I can’t wait for the cherry blossoms to bloom, it’s gonna be beautiful. And I need to take you to the bakery, you’d love the cannelés.”

Osamu holds back his laughter at your French accent, cute, he thinks.

“There’s already a communication team,” you continue, “everyone is so kind and to be able to discuss my ideas with everyone is such a cool thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with the Jackals but…well, the guys aren’t the best at giving advice when it comes to their social media. Except for your brother, actually.”

“I’m glad,” Osamu says with a soft voice.

“And Kuroo is amazing to work with and he’s actually kinda funny sometimes, but he has that weird laugh-anyway, I think he likes my work… But that doesn’t mean he's going to keep me on after my trial period.”

Osamu is relieved, happy even, that you’re enjoying your life there, but when he is about to express it, the words get stuck in his throat and no sound leaves his lips.

There’s a silence following your story, and you’re the one who breaks it. “I’m coming back in two days.”

“And I’ll be there.”

“Also… in three weeks or something, the National Team is having their last public practice match before the Olympics and it’s in Osaka, are you going to install a stall at the gym?”

“Yeah, I will. Ya know how the guys will react if I don’t.”

You chuckle, probably picturing some very disappointed—and hungry— Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata (and Meian, though he’d tried to keep a straight face since he has the role of captain to uphold). “Cool, then, I’ll be there.”

“That’s my line.”

You offer him a genuine laugh and a warm feeling spreads through his stomach, which stays even after the call ends.

Two more days. Osamu counts in his head.

He takes a deep breath and enters the shop for the second time, this time being careful with not banging his face into the glass door.

“Can’t ya just stop movin’, please?” Atsumu begs and a sound comes out of his throat, something between a sigh and a groan. 

But his demand doesn’t seem to reach his brother’s ears—even though he said “please”, ‘Samu, ya spoiled brat—as said brother continues to pace like a caged animal in their cramped living room.

“I’m goin’ now.” Osamu finally announces.

“Gosh,” The setter rolls his eyes, “her train arrives in two hours.”

“What if there’s traffic on the way?”

“Ya know what? Just leave, yer so damn annoyin’ right now.”

“Moron,” Osamu exclaims, slamming the door on its way out.

It’s too late for Atsumu to say more than just an offended, “Oi!” since his twin already left the apartment.

There’s no traffic on the way and Osamu is forced to wait for you—though it doesn’t matter how long he must wait; if he had to endure a lifetime of longing just to see you again, he would agree in a blink of an eye.

The only bad thing is that time passes very slowly, and it makes him think over and over again about what might happen.

And the conclusion he comes up with is that two paths are unfolding before him: whether the kiss you shared on the doorframe of your apartment is the last remnant of what could have been, or perhaps the first tender step toward something beautiful. Maybe in a few minutes, he’ll have to pretend nothing happened and go back to being friends or stop hiding his feelings and share them with the world.

When you emerge from the station, your blue scarf sticking out of your bag since the weather has warmed up delicately in the last five days, Osamu feels the rhythm of his heart quickening.

You greet each other, get back in the car, and he starts driving.

One second after the other, even though you’re there now, he keeps waiting.

The silence is heavy but somehow it doesn’t cloud his thoughts. Osamu could be analysing each single one of your moves (you scratch your nails, you keep looking at your phone even if you don’t receive any notification), your expressions (you didn’t meet his eyes when you arrived, your smile is tense), but he doesn’t because he has learned better than to attempt to assume how you feel; it only leads to chaos. The man has no control over this situation and whatever happens, he’ll accept it. Nothing matters more than yielding to your choices. Break his heart, move to Tokyo, sever ties forever (please don’t)—he’ll endure it all if it means your happiness.

“Thank you for coming.” You finally say gently.  

 “Sure.” He waits and after a moment of hesitation, adds, “Ya know… I’ve been waitin’ to see ya.”

There’s a pause, the kind that stretches just long enough to create a knot in his chest.

“You have?” You ask, your voice quiet, unsure.

“Yeah,” he admits, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. If you’re about to turn him down, at least, he needs to be honest one more time. “Been thinkin' about ya all day. All week, actually.”

He laughs, a bit too awkwardly, trying to play it off. “Can I say that? Don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable but I guess I’m just really bad at actin' casual, huh?”

Your soft chuckle makes his heart race all over again. “Not as bad as you think, Osamu. I’m happy if we can talk openly to each other without being afraid of what the other thinks. That’s what we used to do.” You clear your throat, “And actually, there’s something I need to tell you.”

There it is, he thinks, the opening he’s been waiting for. He decides to pull over to the side of the road since you almost made it to your place. He licks his lips nervously before turning to you, your eyes don’t meet his when you speak again.

“So… I’ve been thinking. I wanted to have that conversation with you later, not in the car like that, but like you said, it’s hard to act casual…Listen, Osamu.” You finally turn to your right, to him.

Osamu thought he could know how you’re feeling just by seeing the look on your face but right now he is unsure. It’s exciting to know there’s still so much to learn about you, but also threatening because he can’t anticipate your next words and it’s suffocating.

“You’re the kindest person I know, you’re funny and you’re reliable and there’s no one in this entire world, and please don’t tell Umi, with whom I feel so at ease. I’ve never really been into stuff like soulmates you know, even with Rin, I believed he was the love of my life, and it turned out I was wrong. But with you it’s different, it’s like the universe has led me to you. That fact will never change, whatever we … become.” Your voice falters, “But… I made so many sacrifices for Rin, and I don’t regret them, they made me who I am now, but I promised myself I would never do such things again… Yet, I was in my hotel room in Tokyo, finally finding my dream job and loving the team, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how I wanted to be with you in Osaka, how I wanted to kiss you again… I feel so weak Osamu ‘cause I love you too. I do want us to be together but not like that. I can’t miss this opportunity. If I stay in Osaka, I will resent myself for not choosing my dream and if I leave for Tokyo, I know I’ll regret not being with you… But I have to make a choice.”

“Can’t ya have both? Me and Tokyo?”

You sigh before looking down at your lap. Osamu thinks he saw your eyes getting wet, “I wish I could, but you know how I feel about distance relationships.”

Of course, he knows; he was there when you suffered through the distance that separated you from your first love years ago and how it led to a heartbreak.

“What if I come with y-”

“Don’t even think about it, Osamu. I am not following my dream for you to give up yours.” Your voice is firm, but there’s a hint of pain behind your words. “I swear I thought about all the options because I know you’re right for me… but there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Osamu was convinced there were only two paths, one where you love him, one where you don’t. But what if there is a third option? What if you love him but fear getting hurt?

It’s not that she doesn’t like you, she’s just afraid, Umi told him. He recalls precisely the moment your best friend pronounced those words to him.

There’s hope. Osamu has to hold on to it.  

“Give me one month.”

“Huh?” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“I’ll find a solution, I’ll make it work, I promise.”

“Osamu,” you sigh again, this time it sounds desperate, perhaps frustrated, “this is not some sort of romantic movie, this is real life.”

“I know that, and I’ll find a real solution.”

“What if you don’t find the solution after that month? I know how heartbreaks feel like Osamu, this is only going to hurt you and-”

“Nothing can hurt me more than runnin’ away when I could have tried making it work.”

There’s something in your eyes that shines behind your closed face and clenched jaw.

The atmosphere changes in the car, maybe because of the night falling, or maybe because of something else.

“When we were first years, we weren’t in the same class, but at the sports festival, we were put on the same team for the relay.” You start recalling, the sudden shift in topic catches him off guard, but he lets you continue anyway.

“Umi wasn’t in my team, and I was already not motivated to run the race, especially in front of everyone but it got worse when I was put before you. Can you imagine me, giving the stick to Miya Osamu? You were popular, girls loved you, boys admired you, and I was no one. Sure, I could run fast but I didn’t care about winning that damn event. I guess… the only things I cared about were having Rin looking at me and not tripping in front of your fangirls. But on the day of the festivals, do you remember what you told me?”

He shakes his head. You were always better at remembering stuff.

“You said ‘Trust me, just do your thing and I’ll make it work’. I trusted you; I did what I had to do, and we won.”

You cover your face with your hands abruptly and grumble, “Fuck, I really thought I made up my mind but…” Then, you take a long inspiration before looking at him again. Your eyes pierce his soul, find him where he is the most vulnerable, but also the most in love, “If I trust you one more time… Can you promise you’ll not let me down?”

“I’d do anything for ya to give me a chance.”

He says your name as he promises. There’s something obvious in your eyes when you look at each other, it’s not just hope that Osamu feels, it’s certain and deep. As if nothing could come between you.

You break the distance.

The kiss is softer than the last one. Osamu tries to take his time to appreciate the taste of your lips and the feeling your tongue leaves on his.

No need to rush, he knows it’s the first kiss of a long series (whether it lasts a month or a hundred years).

You pull back with a smile, “Oh, by the way, I have not forgotten that you owe me an explanation for all the times you ignore me. And you better hear what I have to say to you on that matter because you sure hurt me. It might take hours for me to tell you how bad you made me feel.”

“And I’d listen for hours.”

“You’re such a smooth talker.” You chuckle and open the passenger door, “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow ‘Samu.”

“Huh?” He raises an eyebrow, “That’s what my brother calls me, can’t ya find something else like my lov-”

“Shut up you idiot, I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll submit.” He teases and his grin is both sincere and charming, it makes you lift your eyes in the air.

You laugh one more time before getting out, “sweet dreams.”

He bids you goodnight in return.

Things go well.

You try to see each other often. Now that Osamu has his Sundays free, he makes the most of them to take you on dates. In the evening, you cook dinner at home and in the morning, you stop by Onigiri Miya to get the bento he prepared for you. You always thank him with a kiss on the lips, a caress on the cheeks and sometimes the make out session gets a little bit out of hand. One day, despite your complaints about how you might get caught, Osamu doesn’t stop until Sato and Nagisa enter the shop (“Oops, didn’t mean to interrupt”, one of them say and Osamu tells you later how they kept on teasing him all day long. “It’s only yer fault though”, he exclaims, “yer too pretty.” And you push him on the chest, your cheeks turning red and your smile wide.)

You receive an email from Kuroo one Tuesday night, with a contract attached to it, waiting to be filled with your signature.

It’s hard to hide your smile, “I got the job.”

Osamu jumps from his chair to yours and kisses you, “I expected no less from my Champion.”

You open your mouth to say something and your boyfriend notices how your bite your lips. The long-distance relationship is starting now, that’s probably what you’re about to say, but Osamu doesn’t want to lose this moment thinking about what’s coming after, so he goes through your kitchen’s cupboards and gets a bottle of sake.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“We have somethin’ to celebrate, don’t we?” His boyish smile makes your heart melt, and you nod.

“Let’s go to Tokyo tomorrow to look for an apartment.” He proposes later.

Your brows knit together, “but your restaurant…”

“I can close it.”

Osamu looks at you with the determined eyes you thought he had lost. It’s confident and calm at the same time, it’s kind, and so particularly him. It’s the same look he had when you won the relay a decade ago, when he told you he got your back during your heartbreak, and when he swore he’d do anything to be with you.

This time, you're the one who kisses him, and you taste of sake. His hands find the skin of your lower back and the man wonders how he could have missed out on something so soft all these years. Maybe it’s the alcohol but his mind becomes intoxicated, still, it feels good, and the next second he lifts you to lead you to the bedroom.

The next morning, your head hurts—and so do your muscles—but Osamu makes sure to cover every inch of your body with kisses as an apology (to which you don’t complain).

Finding an apartment in Tokyo is a drag at first. Between the too high-priced single-rooms and the over-demanding landlords, your energy is drained at the end of the day.

“I’ll never be able to find something…” You whine.

“Hey,” Osamu flicks your forehead lightly, “don’t say that it’s only the first day. Let’s find an hotel for tonight and we'll continue tomorrow.”

“What about Onigiri Miya?”

“Sato and Nagisa can manage.”

“Thank you, Osamu, you’re the best. Oh, what’s Sato’s first name by the way?”

“I forgot,” Osamu gets up from the bench where you were both sat and starts walking. You don’t ask for more.

Eventually, Osamu gets back to Osaka the next day because “Osamu-san, we’re running out of spicy sauce, what’s the recipe again? I tried something but it tastes like-”, “Like shit.”, “Oi! Rin don’t say that.” And even though he loves helping you, he must admit he misses being in the kitchen.

Your apartment hunt ends up with a last-minute offer for a one-bedroom place near your office and with a view on the park.

“Yer kitchen is better than mine,” Osamu clicks his tongue.

“That gives you a good reason to come visit me.”

“I’m thinkin’ about more than just one reason to visit ya.”

“You pervert,” you tease, and he tries to defend himself, but it’s probably a lost cause, for deep down, Osamu knows you’re right.

So yes, three weeks pass, and things go pretty well between you two.

It's been a week since he last saw you, though you FaceTime every evening—both to tell him about your day and to show him the first pieces of decoration you've put up; a few flowerpots, two cups on the counter (one for him, one for you), and a framed picture of you and Umi.

And today is the National Team last public practice match, so it means Osamu gets to finally see you in person (yesss, he mumbles when rolls out of bed at dawn.)

The match starts at 1 p.m., the crowd is expected at noon, and Osamu spends the late morning setting up his onigiri stall in the gym’s hall. His hands move automatically as he arranges the ingredients and checks his prep. He tries to focus on his routine because his mind is far from calm.  Sure, he is happy to see you but he knows you’re also waiting for the “real solution” to overcome the distance. But Osamu hasn’t found it yet, not even when you packed your bags and moved in Tokyo officially.Time is running out.

Nagisa probably noticed the somehow stressed mood of his boss and finds himself even more careful than he usual is.

“Can I have one… Ginger chicken onigiri please?”

Nagisa greets you respectfully and Osamu immediately turns to where you stand with widen eyes as if he wasn’t expecting you.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey.” He replies back and the man has to fight the stupid grin tugging at his lips. “Just give me a second.”

Osamu hands you your order, “Enjoy.”

“Those are new, huh?”

“Yeah, for the Spring Menu.” He explains, trying to keep his cool, but his smile sneaks through.

“I can’t wait to try then,” You smile back, your eyes meeting his. He could stand there all day, just soaking in this moment. But he’s working and you have a volleyball match to attend.

“Well, I’m gonna join Kita-san now. And also-” you glance behind you at the growing line. “Don’t wanna hold up the queue.”

Before he can even think of a reply, you wave and step away. He watches as you walk toward where Kita is waiting and both disappear in the stands. His heart warms at the sight.

The hours pass as the match begins, Osamu and Nagisa catch glimpses of the game through the screens scattered around the hall. Atsumu starts the first set, naturally, and Osamu can't help but grumble to himself when his brother is swapped out for Kageyama in the second. By the time his twin closes the final set with a signature service ace, Osamu rolls his eyes, already dreading the inevitable rambling about it later tonight.

“Atsumu-san is amazing,” Nagisa says and his eyes shine at the screen.

“Well, keep that for yerself please.” Osamu straightens up and starts packing up his stall.

The crowd begins to disperse, he can hear it from a distance. He’s just about ready to close up when a familiar face appears, slightly out of breath.

“Are you still open?” one Akaashi Keiji says with a sheepish smile.

Osamu simply remarks that he’s always open for his best client, and it makes Akaashi even more embarrassed. “That’s very considerate of you Miya-san. Sorry I didn’t come by earlier. I arrived late.”

“No problem,” Osamu replies, handing him his usual set of onigiri. “Yer favorite as always.”

Akaashi accepts the food, then hesitates before speaking. “There’s a new onigiri shop near my workplace, you know. I gave it a try, but... well, they don’t come close to yours.”

Osamu chuckles. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

“But don’t worry, Miya-san,” Akaashi continues, putting his glasses back on, “I’m not going to try to convince you to open a shop in Tokyo this time. I learned my lesson. Besides, you’re probably already too busy with your current restaurant.”

Osamu opens his mouth to speak but no sound comes out of it. Instead, his mind goes blank, and a cloud makes his brain unable to think. But not in an oppressive way, no, this time the cloud is light and pleasant.

Something seems to click inside him, as if a thought that has been buried suddenly rises to the surface. He’s always brushed off the idea of expanding, but now... maybe it’s time to stop putting things aside. His decision comes in a flash, and before he can second-guess it, he’s calling out to his part-time employee.

“Hey, Nagisa! Can ya finish up closin’ the stall? I gotta go.”

Without waiting for an answer, Osamu takes off, scanning the crowd for you. He spots you near the exit, chatting with a few familiar faces. His heart beats faster as he approaches.

He says your name, “Can we talk?”

You raise an eyebrow, but you nod, leading him to a quieter spot—the room where you used to work as the Jackals’ communication manager.

“So,” you begin, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. “What’s going on?”

Osamu takes a deep breath. “I’ve been thinkin’... ‘bout how I can make this work.”

“Make what work?”

“Us.” The word feels huge, but it’s the only thing that matters right now. “I’ve decided... I’m gonna open a shop in Tokyo.”

Your eyes widen, clearly taken aback. “Wait, what?”

“I’ll expand,” Osamu says, his voice is firm. “I’ll open a shop in Tokyo, so we don’t have to do this long-distance thing. I want to be with ya. There are a lot of things I need to think about like findin’ the right place and hirin’ new people, it might take a little bit of time but I have the cash, and I know it’s gonna be alright. Can ya trust me on this?”

The last question is said with more softness, maybe with a bit of fear. But there’s still this determination in his eyes that you love so much.

You seem to process his words for a moment, and he holds his breath, waiting for your reaction. Then, slowly, a smile spreads across your face. Without warning, you throw your arms around him, and he catches you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“Of course, I trust you,” you whisper against his shoulder and Osamu feels a shiver running down his spine.

“Honestly…” he speaks again, “I’m already pretty busy with the restaurant but maybe it’s time for the business to grow.”

“And I’ll be here for you. We’ll go through this together.”

Just as you’re about to kiss—something Osamu has been craving since you entered the venue—the door swings open.

Bokuto’s loud voice fills the room with your name, and both of you jump apart, startled.

“What-what’s going on here?” The outside hitter blurts out. His expression is one of shock, like a child who just caught their parents placing presents under the tree instead of Santa Claus.

“Are-are you…?” He points his finger at you, one after the other.

“We’re datin’.” Osamu replies first.

“But we want to keep it quiet for now,” you add, not noticing how Osamu’s brows furrow. Had ya mentioned this before? he wonders but keeps the question to himself. After all, it’s fine—it’s not like he was planning on going all loud and proud about your relationship like his brother would. Still, the thought lingers.

Bokuto grins, clapping his hands together. You’re both surprised by the change in his attitude (even though you should be used to Bokuto’s moody antics by now). “About time! Anyway, the team’s going out for drinks. You guys coming?”

You both nod. Once Bokuto disappears, you sneak a small kiss on the corner of his lips before opening the door again. He holds back a frustrated grunt—he wanted more, but who can blame him? After all, he’s a Miya; aiming for more is in his genes.

You find yourself sitting between your boyfriend and Bokuto in a busy izakaya. The room is loud, and it smells like fried meat and beers. For once, you're not the only girl at the table since some of the players' partners are here too. Osamu’s eyes keep drifting back to you, even while Komori is recounting some ridiculous story about how he saved Kiyoomi’s life when they were kids—which the younger cousin firmly denies. He listens, nodding politely, but his gaze betrays him as it keeps landing on you. You’re engaged in a conversation with Meian's fiancée, something about her upcoming wedding as Osamu picks up some words related to that topic.

“Oi, listen up!” Atsumu calls once all the drinks are served. He raises his glass. The chatter dies down, and all eyes turn to him. “First of all, congrats to the team on today's win. We smashed it, boys. Let’s keep it goin’, and we’ll do even better at the Olympics!” A round of cheers follows, glasses clinking together.

“And second, let’s give a round of applause to Shoyo-kun, who’s just signed a contract with Asas São Paulo! - Is that how ya say it? Anyway, I’m gonna miss settin’ to ya man, but ya truly deserve it.” Hinata grins, showing all his teeth, and rubs the back of his head as he thanks everyone.

“And finally,” Atsumu pauses dramatically and smirks, “I gotta congratulate Tobio-kun for his solid performance in the second set... even though I’m the one who finished the game off with that perfect serve.”

Kageyama, ever stoic, only bows his head slightly and mutters some “Thank you.”

Aran turns to Osamu, “Will yer brother ever be humble?”, his tone is both desperate and exasperated.

The older twin hears the remark and starts justifying his words, but it only creates a ripple of laughter all around the table.

Bokuto suddenly stands up, taking Atsumu’s role, with an unexpected serious face. “I’ve got something to say too,” he begins and raises his glass in your direction, before saying your name. “I wanna thank you for all the work you’ve done managing our social media for almost a year. You really helped us connect with our fans, and I just-”

Akaashi, sitting to Osamu’s right, leans over and whispers to your boyfriend, “But Kuroo-san told me she’s still managing the Jackals' social media, even if it’s not her main focus anymore.”

“I will.” You announce, high enough for Koutarou to hear. “I’m not completely leaving the Jackals.”

Sakusa sighs heavily. “We already know that. Bokuto’s just being dense as usual,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Wait, you’re not leaving us?” Bokuto asks and his large amber eyes get glassy.

“No, I’ll still be around. I’ll be based in Tokyo most of the time, but I’ll come by every couple of months.” You smile at him gently.

Bokuto grins before sitting down with a long sigh of relief.

The next minute, he turns to you and Osamu. His eyes scan around and he drops his voice to a whisper, “So... you’ll be in a long-distance relationship?”

From under the table, Osamu squeezes your hand, and you return the gesture with a soft smile.

“Actually... I’ve been thinkin’ about openin’ a shop in Tokyo. It’s still just an idea, though, so let’s keep it between us for now.”

“Dude, that’s another secret I have to keep! But you can count on me.” He takes a sip of beer before adding, “Oh and I’m happy for you two.”

Osamu intertwines his fingers with yours, for the first time in a while it feels like everything is falling into place. As if he can finally exhale after holding his breath for so long, because nothing can come between you now.

He glances at you; you’re absolutely beautiful. It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you appear in his eyes. There’s so much he wishes to tell you right now, so many more touches he wants to share. The desire to be selfish takes over and he leans in. As he parts his lips to whisper that he loves you, Atsumu shouts.

“SUNARIN! So cool you made it!’

You drop his hand in a sharp, almost reflexive move.

Your knees no longer touch each other, a thin void is left where your shoulder was resting.

Suna strides into the izakaya. Osamu can’t help but look at you, as his former teammate approaches to greet everyone. You’re clearly troubled by the situation, and after all, it’s only normal. What Osamu doesn’t like though, is how your gaze is glued to your ex now and how all your attention is directed towards the middle blocker, instead of him.

He feels his lungs get smashed all over again.

Because just when he thought everything was finally settling, it hits him that perhaps, there’s still one more obstacle to overcome.

author notes: i hope you love roller coasters haha

i really enjoyed introducing new characters from haikyuu even though it's only for a small part of the chapter

did you guys love this chapter? (only 1 left btw)

sorry for the delay againnn

lots of love

taglist: @wolffmaiden, @teyvatsunsets, @obibiwan, @sugacor3, @sunahsvt, @iluv-ace, @cinnamonruts

[loucifersbitch]

Congrats on your milestone lovely!! If you’re still doing prompts, Bucktommy + early morning 🧡

once again, i failed at keeping this to 11 sentences OOPS

The sunlight breaks in through the open blinds, softly dancing across the bedroom wall as the household begins to wake up.

Tommy rolls out of bed first, as always. The coffee is set to begin brewing at 5:30, so he has about 30 minutes to himself in the gym before anyone will join him.

It feels good to stretch his muscles, push himself on the treadmill, deadlift only 10lbs under his PR weight from before the accident. Getting the all clear for everything from the orthopedic surgeon yesterday had lifted a weight off his shoulders, and he feels energized like he hasn't in months.

The door opens, and Tommy glances at the clock on the wall. It's only 5:34 which means it's not Evan, but Tommy's pretty sure he knows who the early riser is anyway.

"Liam?" he asks, almost certain as the smell of coffee comes closer.

"Hey, Pops," Liam says, a mug of coffee in each hand. At 15, he's a little young to drink coffee every day in Tommy's opinion, but there are worse things. Much worse.

"Thanks," Tommy says, taking the proffered mug and sipping delicately, the warmth immediately spreading through his body. "Sleep okay?"

"Mhm," he nods, taking a sip from his own mug. "Lottie was up late though. Her light was on when I went to the bathroom at 1."

Tommy frowns. Charlotte has been with them for almost 11 months and is doing fantastic, but she's prone to night terrors. He makes a mental note to talk with her therapist during her next session.

Shaking off the pit he gets in his stomach anytime one of his kids has trouble, he asks, "Did you want to lift weights this morning or do you have practice?"

"I gotta get going. Coach Pullman wants us on the field by 6:30. Denny should be here soon, actually," he says, glancing at his watch.

"Okay, go get ready," Tommy says, watching his son walk toward the door. Then he remembers what happened last week and adds, "And don't forget Benny this time. Dad and I won't be able to drop him off this morning."

Liam sends him twin finger guns then runs back upstairs, leaving the gym door open. Tommy shakes his head fondly, but doesn't get up to close the door. Instead he goes back to his workout, thinking about what he wants to make for breakfast when he's done, the thought of french toast instantly making his stomach growl.

Soon, he hears footsteps on the stairs and looks up to see Liam and Benjamin waving to him as they head outside to meet Denny at the curb. He keeps an eye on the two boys out the window until he sees the Wilsons' car pull up and the boys climb in.

Two down, three to go.

He finishes his workout just after 6:00 and wipes down the equipment before heading upstairs to the en suite. Evan still snores softly in their bed, his curls mussed and long limbs askew. He looks so much younger than 40 - well, 39, but his birthday is in two weeks - and still as beautiful as the day they met.

His shower is perfunctory, quick and efficient, but by the time he leaves the bathroom, there's a small body curled in next to Evan on the bed, cuddled closely in his arms. Hazel is only 4, but she's been with them since she was two months old, officially becoming their daughter a year later.

Not wanting to disturb them, he dresses quietly in the walk-in closet then leaves the room. He steps into the hallway and immediately feels a small body collide with his own.

"Hey, Papa," Evelyn whispers, clinging to his waist.

"Morning, Evie," he says, swinging the 6 year old into his arms for a hug. "Wanna help me make breakfast?"

"Yes," she says, nodding decisively.

They knock on Charlotte's door to make sure she's up and getting ready for school before heading down to the kitchen. The french toast is done quickly, Evelyn only spilling a little of the egg mixture while dipping the thick slices of bread. They also set out the powdered sugar, syrup, and fresh berries along with juice, milk, and water.

Charlotte makes her way into the kitchen, seemingly led by her nose as she smiles at the spread on the table.

"Morning, Pops," she says, stopping to give Tommy a hug. It will never stop amazing him that she settled into their family so quickly, easily transitioning to calling them Pops and Dad like the rest of their kids.

"Hey, sweetie. You doing okay? Liam said you might not have slept well."

She huffs and settles her chin on his chest, looking up at him with tired eyes. "Just a bad dream again. But Percy helped."

After the first few nights of night terrors, Evan had taken Charlotte to Build-A-Bear, hoping they could find something that might help her feel safe when she woke from the dream. Sure enough, she had immediately been drawn to a light blue axolotl that she named Percy. And he does seem to help, but Tommy still wishes there was more he could do to stop the dreams in the first place.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I wish I knew how to help more."

Her face screws up in confusion - her expression eerily similar to Evan's - and says, "Pops, I'm nine. I'm a big kid. I can handle it myself."

Tommy chuckles and holds her tighter. "That may be true, but as your Pops, it feels like my responsibility to make sure any bad things stay away."

Laying her head down and squeezing him once more, she says, "Thanks. You're a good Pops."

He will not cry at 7 in the morning, thank you very much.

Charlotte goes to the table where Evelyn is already waiting for her, and they quietly start to pile food onto their plates. They're a few bites in when Evan comes downstairs, a very clingy, sleepy Hazel in his arms. She starts to wiggle, trying to get down when she spots the girls already at the table and goes directly into Charlotte's waiting arms.

Evan looks like he could use a few more hours of sleep, but just when Tommy's about to suggest he go lie back down, Evan leans into him and murmurs, "G'morning."

"Good morning," Tommy says, his arms encircling Evan and holding him close so he can kiss his birthmark. "You ready for today?"

"Absolutely." Placing his own kiss to Tommy's cheek, he disentangles himself from Tommy's grasp and joins their daughters at the table.

Tommy watches them for a moment, taking in just how much his life has changed since meeting Evan, how full of people and love and family it is now. Seeing his husband - a man bursting with love for everyone around him - taking care of their kids with nothing but gentle patience causes his eyes to prickle with tears once again.

He turns to refill his coffee and get Evan his own mug, composing himself as he stirs in the cream and sugar. Sometimes he takes all of this for granted; it happens after seven years. But he suddenly remembers just how lonely his life used to be. Yes, he had friends and work and the few family members who still spoke to him, but Evan gave him a real family. Evan gave him family barbecues and wedding dates and birthday parties and reasons to celebrate all the little things in life.

As he takes his seat at the table, he's greeted with a chorus of, "Hey, Pops!" and, "Thanks, babe," when he hands Evan his coffee.

The day has barely started, they still need to get two kids to school and one to daycare, and then they have to get ready for the ceremony this evening. Bobby's retiring, Hen will be taking his place as Fire Chief of the LAFD, and Evan is being promoted to Captain of the 118. It's a big day for their family. It'll be long and tiring, and there's nowhere Tommy would rather be than at Evan's side through everything.

[drvscarlett]

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader

Summary: Esteban has been pining over his bestfriend for the longest time. How long will it take her to see that what she's looking for is right in front of her?

The Tortured Drivers' Department series

A/N: And the first person that I'll be crossing off the list is Estie bestie. I think he is probably one of the drivers that gives me the wholesome aura. Let me know what you think or if you wanna be added to the taglist.

Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr

Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you. Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to.

02-13-2002

Dear Diary,

Today I met my first ami (ami is friend in french) and he is Esteban something long name Okon. He is so nice to me. He said hi and helped me swing on the swing sets. I hope I meet more ami like Esteban but he is my favoriteeeee!!!

-y/n.

6 years old Esteban was actually running away from class when he stumbled upon a girl swinging alone at the park's swing set. He frowns because he noticed that every kid at the park have someone to play with but she has no one. Esteban was in an internal battle to just leave it alone but he can't help but feel bad for her.

He walked to the girl and he sat next to the empty swing next to her.

Y/N looked at the stranger that just joined her. Her interest was piqued because no one wants to be around her. She blamed it in her inability to speak French so she was hesitant to scare off the potential play mate.

"I'm Esteban, you are new?" Esteban started.

Esteban's english was not perfect especially with a strong French accent but he can hold a good conversation. He can see how the excited grin appeared in her face.

"Y/N! You speak good, can we be friends?" she asked.

She extends her hands to the boy and Esteban shakes it.

"Mon ami"Esteban agrees.

There was a visible confusion in her face. Esteban mentally slaps himself as he forgot that she cannot speak french.

"It mean friends"he added.

"Mon ami Esteban" it rolls right in her tongue.

And although there was a great language barrier, they managed to stay there at the swing sets till it was time to go home for dinner. Their antics and their grand hand gestures helped them communicate with each other.

11-28-2002

Dear Diary,

I told Estie that I will be missing thanksgiving a lot because I don't live in US. His mom and dad cooked, we had our own version of thanksgiving. I'm so grateful to my mon ami, Estie.

-y/n

Usually, Esteban's afterschool routine was drop his bags and leave the house to meet up with his bestfriend, Y/N. They would go sit at the swing set for hours or maybe watch the television at Y/N's house. It was a routine that Mrs. Ocon has been familiar with ever since Y/N came into the picture.

"Maman, can I talk to you about something"

Esteban made a beeline to his mother as soon as he gets home this afternoon.

"Did you have any troubles in school?" Mrs. Ocon wondered.

"Not at all Maman" Esteban answers "I just need help with something Maman about Y/N"

Mrs. Ocon tried to hide the smile in her face as he mutters a soft "oh". Meanwhile, Esteban reached out a piece of paper from his bag.

"Maman I drew this at school, this is a tradition that Y/N misses in America"Esteban explains.

The paper was filled with drawings of stick figures sitting in a table. The table was filled with dishes messily drawn in a muddle of green, brown, and orange.

Mrs. Ocon looks at her son with confusion, she still didn't know what he needs help in.

"What are you trying to say Esteban?"she asked

"This 28 is the thanksgiving dinner and Y/N says that her parents will be busy. She told me its just like a normal dinner but you say thank you for everything you are grateful about"Esteban elaborates "Can we do that Maman and can we invite Y/N to join us"

"That's a wonderful gesture to do for your friend Esteban" Mrs Ocon coos.

Esteban breaks out into a grin with the agreement of his mother.

"But you will be helping me prepare the dishes okay?" Mrs. Ocon added

"Of course Maman, I'll do anything"

Esteban gives his Mother a tight hug. He was extremely grateful because he knows how much Y/N has been missing so many american things lately. He was just scared that she'll leave France and then go back to America then he will never see her again.

On the other hand, Mrs. Ocon can call it mother instincts but she called it from this moment that her son is in love with his bestfriend.

05-17-2005

Dear Diary,

I like reading a lot while my bestfriend Estie loves riding the small karts. I like going to school, Estie doesn't like that. It seems like were different with each other. I'm scared of losing my bestfriend, what should i do?

But I'll support him. I want him to be happy. Thats what bestfriends do.

-y/n

"I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban blurts out one time that they were watching those Formula 1 races on the television.

Y/N started laughing because she thought it was a joke but when she looked at him, his eyes were looking at the race cars with so much determination.

"Wait, you are serious?"

"Can't you picture me driving those cars? It's like being wind woosh" Esteban mimicked the movement of the cars.

"But its like dangerous, you could crash" Y/N argues.

They have seen some serious crashes in the times that they watched F1. Y/N couldn't forget that dogpile crash in Monaco just a few weeks ago, her heart nearly stopped when the car hits a marshal cleaning up debris.

"Then I'm going to train to be a good driver so I don't crash" Esteban confidently states.

"But what about school?"Y/N asked "You're not seriously leaving me there"

"Woah, I said I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban clarifies "I didn't say anything about leaving you. You are mon ami"

"But school Estie?"Y/N repeats

Both of them knows that Esteban never found a knack for the academics, his favorite class was physical education. As much as Y/N tries to encourage him to study, he didn't like to do that a lot. Esteban always said that the braincells of Y/N will be enough for them to share and to get through life.

"I really wanna be a race car driver"Esteban insisted.

Y/N knew Esteban very well that if he sets his mind to it then he is bound to do it. There is nothing else she can do but support it.

"Esteban Ocon, a grand prix winner" Y/N shows her encouragement "I could picture it the crowd goes roar and you step onto those podiums holding those big trophies"

Esteban grins at her enthusiasm.

"And then I could take you with me to watch them when you finish school"Esteban added "We could travel the world together when I become a driver"

"Esteban wait so if you do become a race driver then maybe I can meet Kimi"Y/N wondered.

"Wow you only want me to go to F1 for Kimi huh"

"Well its a good opportunity to meet the man, the myth, the legend"

06-16-2006

Dear Diary,

I'm just really really sad today. Estie will be moving far away from here. Maybe I only get to see him on the weekends. I'll miss my bestfriend, mon ami

-y/n

They were at the swing sets when Esteban broke the news that he was accepted to compete for karting competitions. Y/N was immediately ecstatic to hear this but there was a frown gracing Esteban's face.

"You just told me that you are gonna compete for go karting but why do you look so sad" Y/N inquires "Isn't this like the first step in being an F1 driver?"

It is but Esteban hadn't predicted how costly this whole thing will be and how sacrifices have to be made in order to reach his dreams.

"We have to leave the house"Esteban breaks the news.

"Leave?"Y/N was confused "I mean don't you really have to leave the house to go to the go karting place..but you'll come back right?"

He shakes his head and Y/N could feel the reason for the sad looks on his face. Her heart feels like cracking especially when Esteban starts to speak again.

"They sold the house to get me a kart" Esteban's voice was filled with so much sadness "They knew it was my dream and the whole family sees a lot of potential that I can do it. I just feel terrible that they have to make sacrifices to make my dreams come true"

They were merely ten years old but it was a lot of burden to carry and to understand. Y/N is at loss for words but she just grabbed Esteban's hands.

"Then you have to give your all and be the best race driver ever okay?"Y/N reminded him

Esteban looked at Y/N and there were stray tears leaving her eyes but she has a brave face on and an encouraging smile. He was lucky to have a family that believes in him and he was even more luckier because he gets to have another supporter in the form of his bestfriend.

"You make a lot of money so you can buy your home again and you can treat your parents out"Y/N says "You have to do well okay, we all believe in you Estie"

And its these words that kept repeating on Esteban's mind whenever he is on track.

11-23-2012

Dear Diary,

It's my birthday today. Did you believe that Estie waited till it turned midnight here in France just to call me. My bestfriend be setting up the standards for everyone. I got a cake in the morning from my classmates and then we went to have dinner. Sixteen, im getting old now.

-y/n

Esteban and Y/N had a tradition since they were kids that they will wait for each other's birthday because they wanted to be the first person to greet each other.

The minute that the clock strikes 12, Y/N's phone starts vibrating. She had a grin on her face upon seeing the name on the caller ID.

"Well hello there Mr. Lightning McQueen"Y/N greeted.

"Happiest birthday to my sweetest mon ami"Esteban cheered on the other line "You know that I wish you all the best things in life and all of happiness that life has to offer"

"I'm surprised you had time to call, don't you have to wake up early later for your race?" Y/N questioned.

It was true, they don't get to talk as much whenever Esteban was in a competition season. Y/N doesn't mind it that much because Esteban will message whenever he can.

"I wouldn't miss my favorite person's day" Esteban answers.

His remarks made Y/N blush. It was a good thing that this is just a phone call conversation or she had some explaining to do.

"That makes me miss you way way more Estie"Y/N sighs "I hope I can see you again"

"Is that your birthday wish?" Esteban jokes

"My birthday wish is an F1 seat for you" Y/N declares.

"Hey, stop wishing about me. It's your day wish for YOUR day" Esteban argues.

"Then I wish for my bestfriend to get an F1 seat so I can meet Kimi"Y/N rephrases.

They spent a good time talking to each other. Y/N updates Esteban about those girls in her class that she wants to be friends with and how difficult physics assignments are. Esteban mentions about the trainings and the different race drivers that he met on track.

Esteban knows that he might probably regret staying up late but everything always seems worth it when it comes to Y/N.

"Well its really nice catching up to you but school starts at 7 tomorrow"Y/N yawns a bit "You must be pretty tired as well with all the training"

"Don't you worry about me here, I'm doing okay"

"You are the best Estie" Y/N said "Goodnight estie, love you"

Love. That's the word that Esteban has been pondering about a lot lately. It was that stage of life that people are getting girlfriends and boyfriends because they love that person. The only person that Esteban thinks he can love and be in a relationship with is Y/N.

First he thought, maybe its because Y/N's a close friends. Many people get the lines blurred between friendship and relationship. However, Esteban is beginning to realize that he likes Y/N more than a friend.

But, Esteban was scared of scaring her off or losing her so he settles with this.

"Good night Y/N, love you more"

01-01-2017

Dear Diary,

So Esteban and I went to our first party because Esteban finally had a permanent team for the upcoming 2017 season. We had a few drinks to celebrate and I met a boy. His name is Vincent. I think we hit it off pretty well.

-y/n

Esteban has this all night planned with him announcing that he is getting a permanent seat in Formula 1 to inviting her to the races to confessing his feelings and then hopefully get a New Year Eve's kiss.

However, here he is in the bathroom chickening out with his plans.

"C'mon Esteban, you can do this" he preps himself.

In his mind, he had everything written and prepared. He will start talking about the childhood how he was so glad to meet her and to her being the number 1 fan since day 1. Then he will move to his realizations and such when he was moving up to F1.

"Just say what you feel and be true. It's gonna work out"Esteban tells his reflection to the mirror.

With one spray of water to the face, Esteban exits the bathroom to find Y/N in the sea of crowd.

He searches for her and he was glad to see that she was still at the same place where he left her. However, his face scrunches up because there was another guy around her.

"Estieee!"Y/N calls out "I want you to meet Vincent, he is my new friend"

Esteban eyes the man because he didn't even look at him. Vincent's eyes were only looking at Y/N's and Esteban could feel his heart drop. He knows that look all too well because that is how he looks at her.

There goes his chance.

12-25-2017

Dear Diary,

This is my first christmas with Vincent as my boyfriend. Were still getting used with the presents thing and I think I overwhelmed him a bit. But I think that its going well, Mom loves Vincent. Dad and Esteban doesn't seem to think that Vincent is good for me.

-y/n

"Okay, time to open christmas presents!" Y/N excitedly announce.

Everyone gathers at the Christmas tree. It was a yearly tradition in the household that after lunch they go one-by-one in opening the gifts. Y/N always loved presents so she would always go first.

"Merry Christmas darling"Vincent says as he gives his present.

Esteban manages to keep his expression straight but he would have gagged if he could. He was filled with so much jealousy that he could have been in that position right now if he didn't chicken out.

Also, there was something so irritating and wrong about Vincent. He just don't have any proof about it. Mr. Y/L/N has a similar theory which he discussed with Esteban when they were in the garage earlier.

Y/N opens the box and she saw a gold chain with the letter V. It was a very beautiful necklace and it seems expensive as well. She musters up a smile as she thanks her boyfriend.

"This is beautiful Vincent" Y/N admires as she takes it off the box.

"I know."Vincent agrees "When I saw it in the store, I immediately thought of you"

The thoughts were sweet but Esteban couldn't help himself.

"Mate"Esteban calls "Y/N doesn't wear gold"

It was the truth that Y/N never wore any gold jewelry but since it was a gift, she was putting on a smile. Esteban knows that Y/N is just being appreciative to be respectful. Frankly, he was a bit pissed off that Vincent didn't even pay attention to that simple details of Y/N.

"Oh, I didn't know that"Vincent sheepishly grins "I didn't notice that, maybe I should take it b-"

"No, no. I'll wear it, its the thought that counts"Y/N settles.

"Next year, I'll get you a better gift" Vincent assures.

Mr. Y/L/N and Esteban could only share an eye roll, they really hope that they don't get to see Vincent next year around.

06-26-2018

Dear Diary,

Today is emotionally draining and I find it hard to sleep with a lots of thoughts in my head. It feels really different to see Estie in an F1 car. I simply can't believe it that he went to watching race cars to driving one. It sucks about whats about to happen but I am so proud of my bestfriend, mon ami Estie. I will always be proud of him no matter what.

-y/n

One of the worst things that could probably happen is to not finish a race but the feeling intensifies when it happened on your home race. Esteban wanted to kick himself for his misfortune. He didn't even get a lap in when Gasly collided him thus ending their races.

"Stupid" Esteban repeats the video all over again.

The door gently opens and Esteban would have shouted to leave him alone but Y/N peeked out of the door. It was like instant moment of peace for Esteban then its back to feeling like a failure because he suddenly remembered that everyone he loves have watched him DNF live.

"Estie, they told me you were here"Y/N greeted "You wanna talk?"

"I rather not" Esteban quickly answered.

"Hey, its just one bad weekend Estie"Y/N sits next to him.

"This is that one weekend that should have been a good weekend. Everyone is watching me and I didn't even start a lap before getting fucked"

The crack in Esteban's voice signifies that it was extremely heartbreaking for him to have this performance for his home race. Y/N could only tap his shoulder for comfort.

"Estie, you will have a lot of weekends ahead of you and you still have a lot more weekends that we will be watching. Don't be too hard on yourself" Y/N comforts "You can bounce back like you always do"

"You believe in me way too much"

"You already came a long way Estie. From sitting and watching them race every Sunday to actually driving a car. You should be proud of yourself" Y/N reminds.

There was something else painful in Esteban's heart. The recent issues regarding the team doesn't guarantee him for a seat in the coming year. It was another reason why he felt so down with what happened.

"Would you still be proud of me even if I don't have an F1 seat?" Esteban asked.

"What? What happened Estie?" Y/N was shocked.

"I might not have a team to drive for next year. I don't know if anyone is going to pick me with my DNFs and everything, I'm not a good candidate"

Esteban sheds the tears he has been trying to hide. He knew that this was a safe place to talk to Y/N. Everything just felt so heavy.

"Oh my god Estie, I'm sorry"Y/N consoles her bestfriend.

The two bestfriend knew how much this Formula 1 seat meant. It was a lot of struggles and sacrifice to reach this moment. One moment they were just kids going on karting season and now Esteban was getting his F1 seat. Now its being taken away, its like waking up from a good dream.

Y/N brushes away her tears and started to pace as if devising a plan.

"Don't you dare think that just because you are not getting a team next year is that you are a bad driver. You are a great driver okay,remember that." Y/N encourages "Take the year off. Improve your skills, get better then make a comeback"

If Y/N believes that he can make a comeback then Esteban believes that as well.

02-03-2019

Dear Diary,

I had a fight with Vincent. He told me that I am spending too much time with Esteban. He wanted me to stay away from Estie like who is he to tell me what to do.

I told him to be more patient with Estie because he really needs support right now. I hate how stupid and irrational Vincent is.

-y/n

Esteban was just picking up one of his cousin at the club when he saw a familiar figure at the alley. He just wanted to say hi to Vincent but when he noticed that he was holding hands with a girl, who is definitely not Y/N, Esteban started to follow.

He watched as how Vincent pulled the girl into a kiss and all Esteban could see was red.

"OHMYGOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"The girl shouts.

Esteban lands a solid punch. He doesn't care if Vincent is drunk or whatever but he should never cheat especially on a woman as amazing as Y/N.

"I tried to give you a chance, you fucking ruined it"Esteban lands another punch at Vincent.

"What the fuck man, get off!"Vincent screams.

The fact that Esteban was willing to let go and watch Y/N be happy with Vincent. He was willing to do that because Vincent makes Y/N happy but seeing this. Its not gonna happen anymore.

Two bouncers of the club broke them off. The girl immediately tended to the beaten up Vincent, Esteban dust himself off as he sets out a threat.

"You better come clean and tell her the truth or else I fucking will" Esteban warns.

"FUCK YOU MAN" Vincent shouts back "I know you like her! I know you are just waiting for an opportunity to ruin us"

"I'm not the one who ruined the fucking relationship Vincent, it was you who fucking cheated on Y/N"

Esteban was seething as he returned to the car. His mind thumbs to call Y/N but he knows that it will break Y/N's heart terribly if he tells her the truth.

09-28-2019

Dear Diary,

I hate this feeling of being ina fight with Esteban. He said some things that aren't true and I said some things that must have hurt him a lot. I don't think we will be okay any time soon. I just wish I could have turned back time to talk about the whole thing more carefully.

-y/n

There are not many things that Esteban and Y/N disagrees with each other. It was quite rare to see them fight each other because they fit perfectly just like that. Usually, their fights are just simple misunderstandings and harmless that they will make up in a day or so.

This time its different.

Everything started when Y/N explained that she'll be moving to Vincent's apartment, something that triggered Esteban greatly. It was apparent that Y/N had no idea of what happened at the club so Esteban told the whole truth.

Y/N is in complete denial and called Esteban a liar. So here they are with their raised tones.

"If you are my fucking friend then you would have told me the minute you saw it" Y/N explained "Why didn't you fucking call"

"I was protecting you. I know it would hurt you to know the truth and I told Vincent that he has to be the one to come clean" Esteban fights back.

"Protecting me with a grand lie?"

"I thought you don't fucking believe me that Vincent is cheating" Esteban frustrated with the argument.

"I don't know who to fucking believe because you would have told me right away if its real" Y/N cried.

The emotions were all too high, they were a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Esteban could not hide the disappointment in his face that Y/N didn't believe him.

"You don't trust me" Esteban realized.

"No Esteban, its not like-"

"Then what is it like?" Esteban asked "It seems as if you totally forgot that it was me who you could always trust no matter what. You forgot that I was your bestfriend since the beginning that was always there."

Y/N didn't want to get all the blame so she strikes back again even though tears were threatening to fall.

"You know its very fucking ironic that you say that" Y/N's words were like bullets "You didn't fucking trust me to believe you either that's why you didn't call"

Esteban was speechless and then he shakes his head.

"Where are you going?"Y/N chases after.

"I'm going home, away from you"

"Fine. Don't fucking come back" Y/N slams the door.

There were a lot of things said and done. They both don't know how they regretted everything.

03-29-2020

Dear Diary,

This whole lockdown is a little bit fucked. I was cleaning up some files in my computer and I saw a photo of me and Estie. I wonder if he is still mad at me and I wonder how he is doing with lockdowns. I wanted to reach out to him but I can't help but think back how much I must have hurt him before.

Vincent is a bit stressed with the whole lockdown situation. He gets frustrated easily especially with the new work set-up. I'm sure he will get better at handling his emotions, I just have to understand this for the moment.

-y/n

Esteban was scrolling through his instagram feed. He had nothing much to do since the lockdown kept everyone inside their homes. There was this feeling of uncertainty when can they race again but Esteban could only hope that they can race again even by May or June.

His hands stopped when he saw the newest instagram post of Y/N. It was a photo of her cooking a dish and the next set of photos showcases more of her lockdown diaries.

There was a bitter smile gracing on Esteban's face when he saw the photo of Vincent. It seems as if Vincent hasn't told the truth yet or maybe he lied to Y/N that's why they are still together. Esteban feels like he could punch the guy if he ever sees him again.

Not a day goes by that he regrets that fight he had with Y/N. It was just utterly pointless that it happened and he misses her. He hopes that she is okay and maybe after this whole lockdown is over then he'll go and find her again.

With heavy sighs, he scrolls past the post without liking it.

08-01-2021

Dear Diary,

Esteban is a grand prix winner. I'm really so proud of him, I shed some tears when he reach the final lap. I don't know if its the emotions or the adrenaline but I also messaged him and I was surprised that he answered. It seems like this is a start of a good thing.

-y/n

There were no words to describe how amazing the feeling was to be on top of the podium. Esteban could only imagine that feeling before but now he is living it. Everything felt like a wild dream because when he started the race he didn't even know that he will end up being a race winner after.

Collapsing to his bed, he finally opens his phone and it was immediately buzzing with so many messages. There was one message conversation that catches his attention

Y/N: Hi Esteban! I hope this is still your number. I watched the race today and I'm really so proud of you. I want to waive a white flag because this is everything that you have dreamed of all these years. There are no words to describe how proud I am of you. You have come a long way from that kid by the swing set. You will always have my support (even if we have a cold war). Y/N: I'm also sorry. I said some things that was really not good for me to say. I'm sorry I'm doing this over a text and I'm sorry that it took me this long. Y/N: I hope you are okay. You better drink up some champagne, you deserve it Grand Prix Winner.

There was this warmth that seems to envelope him as he reads the messages. It feels nice to know that she stills supports him even though they are not talking.

Esteban catches himself smiling through his phone screen confirming that his feelings for her still exist.

"Oh fuck it, this feeling never goes away doesn't it"

01-02-2022

Dear Diary,

Vincent proposed to me today in front of a crowd today. Mentally I wanted to say no because I don't think that I am ready for it or maybe its just the fact that I'm not sure that Vincent is ready for it. I just said yes because there was a large group of people. I felt like I was put on the spot and I didn't like it.

Maybe, its just the nerves.

-y/n

Mrs. Ocon had been keeping tabs with Mrs. Y/L/N even when the two had stopped talking to each other. They often update with each others lives when they get their nails done. Today, Mrs. Ocon couldn't believe the news shared to her so she hurried downstairs to find Esteban.

"Is it true Esteban?" Mrs. Ocon asked

"What's true maman?"

Esteban has just finished doing simulations so he have not been with his phone for quite some time. His mother immediately shoved her phone to his hand. Esteban squints as she watched the video of someone getting proposed at the Eiffel Tower.

"Maman, I'm not getting married anytime soon"Esteban jokes.

He has been pestered multiple times about getting married or getting a girlfriend but Esteban didn't want any of those. Nothing could compare to Y/N so he would rather not date anyone else.

"Just look more closely"Mrs Ocon insisted.

Scrunching up his nose, Esteban finally noticed the familiar faces of the couple. And it feels like a deja vu from his experience so many years ago when he almost confessed for New Years Eve.

Only this time, the pain has been magnified.

"That's good for Y/N, I'm.."Esteban holds his breath "happy for her"

"Honey...It's okay to not feel happy.."

Mrs Ocon has been one of the witness of everything and she knows how much her son loves Y/N. She extended a hug and soon the tall French man just let all his tears fall.

01-09-2023

Dear Diary,

I called it off, Vincent cheated on me and there was another girl on the side. He got her pregnant. I felt so stupid because I have been ignoring so many red flags all these years, I should have known better. I don't know what to fucking do, I hate him so much.

"What the fuck is wrong with me"

Y/N was a mess and anyone else who have been confronted with the reality that they have been in a fucked up relationship for so long will be a complete mess.

"There is nothing wrong with you Y/N" Esteban repeated "It was not your fault that he cheated"

"I was so stupid Estie, I wasted so many years for him"

This has been an ongoing process for a while now. Its been a good two weeks since they broke up but Y/N was still stuck in a period of asking questions and crying.

"I want my fucking life back and I can't get it back"Y/N laments.

Esteban doesn't know what he could do to help but he just became the shoulder that she can lean on. It was a good thing that there weren't much to do yet, he can still be with Y/N for a while.

"You know on the brighter side of life, you are still lucky that you didn't marry him" Esteban suggested "Like imagine all the divorce and process you have to go through if you did marry him"

"I might have ugly children if I married Vincent" Y/N scoffs.

"He is not your problem anymore Y/N, just ignore him"Esteban encourages.

Y/N lets out a frustrated cry as she messes up her hair again.

"I can't just fucking ignore him. He have been with me for a good period of my life and people just expect me to move on and go on with my life. I lost so many things about myself that I don't even trust myself after him"

Tears started falling from her eyes. She wipes them up as Esteban guided her to a chair.

"I'm sorry Y/N, here lets take a seat and I'll get you water" Esteban said before leaving to go to the kitchen.

There was something so nice to have Esteban around. Even if she shouts or screams like that, Esteban is still patient and kind with her. He was not rushing her to move past what she feels, he allows her to speak.

"You know, I can survive on my own" Y/N mutters.

"I know"Esteban agrees as he handed her the water "But I wanted to be here for you. You have always been there for me when I'm at my lowest of lows, I wanna be there for you now"

It was rare to see Y/N's smiles nowadays but with Esteban saying stuffs like that, she can't help but smile. She was very grateful to have Esteban around. She didn't know how she could survive without Esteban's help.

"Thanks estie

02-18-2023

Dear Diary,

Is it too soon to open up my heart again? I really want to try but I am scared. Maybe this is what happens when you've been in a shitty relationship for so long.

I also know that I dont wanna mess up things. If I do mess up things, I'm not going to just miss someone but I'll miss that boy I met at the swingset.

Maybe this year can do me good.

-y/n

"Esteban for a driver, you are pretty slow driving normal cars"Y/N teased.

"I have to be careful, accidents always happen and I don't wanna injure you before a flight" Esteban argues.

Esteban unloads all their bags. The two of them are going abroad however they are going to different countries. Y/N is going back to her old American home and she might be there for a while. On the other hand, Esteban is going to Bahrain for the pre-testing.

"You sure you have everything?" Esteban asked "Passports? Tickets? chargers?"

"Hey Mr. I forgot my passport, dont lecture me about forgetting things"Y/N smirked.

"Just double check and don't be like me then"

For onlookers they look like a couple about to travel together. How Esteban wishes that was the case but they are just a couple of bestfriends.

"Gonna miss you mon ami"Y/N hugs Esteban "I think I see my gate over there, call me okay"

"Of course I will"Esteban assures.

Y/N was already walking a decent few meters away when Esteban started to debate if he should tell her now. It seems spontaneous but this is a now or never situation.

"Wait up Y/N!"

"Did you forget something?"she teased

She turned her head and found Esteban catching up to her. There were beads of sweat on his forehead and Y/N could tell that Esteban was a bit nervous about something.

"Actually there is something I wanna tell you" Esteban starts.

"Oh what about it?"

She tilts her head in curiosity as Esteban takes in a large deep breath.

"I never forgot my passport. I was just using it as an excuse so I can spend more time with you. I didn't wanna go away from you because I miss you and I love you"Esteban declares.

"Aww Estie, you know I love you too-"

"No, Y/N its not that kind of love"Esteban clarifies "I love you as in I love you in a non-platonic way. I love you in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in a way that I'll do everything so that I'm always coming home to you"

There was silence between the two of them. Esteban was looking for any signs of disgust or rejection in Y/N's eyes but so far those emotions doesn't seem to appear. He feels brave enough to continue further.

"Look, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I know you need time to heal from whatever happened to you. I won't rush you. I have waited since were little kids, this is nothing compared to that. Allow yourself to heal and be yourself. Explore the world. Then if you want me, I'm just here waiting for you"

Esteban's word was filled with so much love and adoration. It was the respect that Y/N needed for having suffer a bad relationship. How could she be so blind not to see what's in front of her all along.

Y/N leans to hug him.

"I won't answer this for now, wait for me to be healed okay?"she whispers.

"Of course Y/N, always waiting for you."

05-01-2024

Dear Diary,

Almost a year and so since my last entry.

I have visited a lot of places to find myself and to heal myself. It was a beautiful journey going to foreign places and trying new things. Actually gave me a new perspective in life that makes me confidently say that I am healed. Some things take a lot of time before we tend to appreciate it.

I have someone waiting for me for almost 22 years already. I'm finally going home to him.

-y/n

[ladykailitha]

All My Roads Lead Back to You Part 6

Am I going to tease you with more reconnect before WIP Wednesday? Why, yes, yes I am.

This chapter was a blast to write. We get some of the petals of the past to unfold, just a little.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5  

***

Robin began her grovelling by making french toast with homemade whipped cream and strawberry jam.

Both Steve and Edie were drawn out of their rooms as the sweet smell of vanilla and spices filled their home. They made their way to the kitchen and sat down at the counter.

“Looks fantastic, Aunt Robbie,” Edie said.

Robin smiled timidly. “Can’t let my favorite people go hungry, now can I?”

Steve and Edie shared a glance and grinned.

“We definitely won’t say no to french toast,” Steve agreed.

She piled them them up on two plates and handed each one to Steve and Edie. “This is me saying I’m sorry about earlier. Eddie Munson, for all his problems, is not an emergency.”

“How did Viv react when you told her you were going to storm the castle?” Edie asked around a large mouthful of food.

Vivian Knightley was Robin’s most recent girlfriend. Tall, gorgeous. An actual fucking model. They had met in New York last year when Nancy had done an expose on the dangers of the fashion industry and Robin had tagged along to ogle the pretty ladies. No one was surprised when she took the prettiest one home with her.

“Uh...” Robin said, blinking slowly. “She was supportive but annoyed?”

Steve clicked his tongued. “Annoyed that the plan was for her to come out to Indy with you and suddenly you’re leaving her in New York for the next couple of days?”

Robin blushed. “I’ll pardon me, while you eat the fruits of my grovelling for you two, I’m going to go grovel to my girlfriend.”

“Send her flowers,” Steve called as she exited the room. “Spare no expense. I mean it.”

“Yeah, yeah, Romeo,” Robin said. “I’ve got this.”

Edie just shook her head. “I don’t know why people think Romeo is the height of romance. Dude couldn’t keep either of the girls he was crushing on.”

Steve laughed. “Rosaline sure dodged that bullet.”

A few minutes later Robin came back with blush high on her cheeks. “Yeah, I’m going to have to get flowers at the very least.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and then shook his head. “We’ll go out for dinner tomorrow and you can lay out your plan for making sure you don’t get dumped this weekend.”

Robin sighed dramatically. “I really screwed the pooch this, didn’t I? I got everyone made at me.”

Edie and Steve shared a glance and Steve sighed, too.

“I know you meant well,” he said tersely, “but I don’t know why you think it was Eddie’s fault. It never was. I have told the same story over and over. He confessed, I turned him down, my parents came back and said they would do better. I was at a low enough point in my life that I believed them.”

Robin sighed. “He really didn’t hurt you?”

Steve pursed his lips and shook his head. “Really. I know Addison is a bitch extraordinaire but I’m the idiot that fell for her charms, okay? Plus, I think I got the best part of that deal. I got a beautiful daughter, I’m the CEO of a tech company worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and I’m happy. You want to know what she got?”

“Nothing?” Robin asked with a grimace.

“She’s got my parents,” Steve replied, “and is living miserably in Chicago where she can’t find a man that will take her with bad dye job and sagging breasts.”

“They say the best revenge is living well,” Robin said with a smile.

Steve smiled back. “Exactly.”

Robin threw her arms in the air in defeat. “You win.”

“It’s nice to win once in a while,” Steve said with a happy sigh. “You should visit more often.”

Edie scoffed. “Like you don’t win when she’s not around.”

“Are you kidding?” Steve asked. “Between you and Dustin, I always lose.”

Edie cocked her head to the side and then nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Steve and Robin laughed.

*

Edie went to school the next day, grateful it was Friday. She wished middle schools and high schools had early out days like the elementary schools. It would make her life far more pleasant. But as it was she still looked forward to the weekend.

Mandy came up to her at their lockers. She chewed on her lip nervously. “So I talked to my dad…”

“I hope you got farther along then I did,” Edie grumped. “My Aunt Robin came to visit early and threw a bomb into getting information out of either of them.”

Mandy sighed. “Not really,” she said, slamming her locker shut and leaning against it. “All Dad would say is that was just a series of missed connections and that neither one is at fault.”

Edie slammed her own locker so hard it bounced back in her face. She slammed it again and this time the lock engaged. “That’s not what it feels like. They didn’t talk for nearly twenty years. This just doesn’t make sense.”

They walked to class together in stony silence.

*

At lunch Harri was able to shine some light on the situation.

“Dad said that Harrington had three strikes against him,” he said.

Edie raised her eyebrows. “He really called my dad by our last name?”

Harri nodded. “He only told me the first one, but I can guess the other two.”

Kenny raised an eyebrow. “What’s the first one?”

Harri picked at his food again. “My Dad confessed that he was in ‘love’ with ‘Harrington’ and that he had brushed it off. That said that all they were was friends and maybe not even that. They had both had near death experiences and hadn’t really had time to get to know each other.”

“Harsh,” Mandy said softly.

“Wait, I have a theory it might not be harsh as we think,” Edie said, chewing at her bottom lip. “Harri do you know when the witch hunt for your dad was?”

He shrugged. “Spring of ‘86 approximately.”

“And what was your dad’s band name?” Edie asked, pulling out her phone.

“Oh!” Mandy said. “I know that one. It was Corroded Coffin.”

Kenny nodded appreciatively. “Bitching band name.”

Edie and typed into the search when Corroded Coffin got their start. “Well shit. It was completely dick move on my dad’s part, but an understandable one.”

She turned the phone around to where it showed they got their record deal in July of that same year.

“Dad said him and Harri’s dad became friends after the witch hunt,” Edie explained. “Which means...”

“Holy shit,” Kenny said, “that’s a really narrow window.”

Harri was silent for a moment. “I–I think my dad was in love with yours before the witch hunt.”

The whole table fell silent.

“That would explain why Mr Munson took it so hard,” Mandy said, her shoulder hunched up around her ears. “To love somebody and then have them narrow your relationship down to trauma bonding? I’m not sure I would recover either.”

“But that doesn’t sound like my dad...” Edie whined. “He wouldn’t do that.”

Harri chewed on his thumb. “I don’t think it was like that. I think Dad’s angry. Because I’ve seen pictures of him before and after they got famous and there is this ring that Dad used to have on his right hand. He said he lost it and I believed him until band practice.”

Edie nodded. “Dad doesn’t like talking about the ring, though Aunt Robin used to argue for him getting rid of it or pawning it, but he always refused. I think we just figured out why.”

Mandy nodded. “Like my dad said, I think that they just kept missing each other. But it’s obvious that Harri’s dad has some real bad hang ups. And I don’t think we should get involved.”

Edie frowned. “I know, but what about the other two incidences that made Mr Munson so upset. Because Harri said he mentioned three.”

Harri sighed heavily. “I think he’s referring to the funerals. I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think Mr Harrington made it to either one.”

“Funerals? Plural?” Mandy asked. “I know about the one for their bandmate Brian Martin. Dad said that something came up and Mr Harrington couldn’t make it.”

Edie’s frown grew deeper. She wasn’t sure but she had an idea when that was and if she was right...she would blow Mr Munson’s fucking mind.

“Hey, Harri?” she asked. “Do you think I could come over to your place after school?”

Harri shrugged. “I don’t see how it would be problem. What’s up?”

Edie looked down at her hands. “My mother is, as my Aunt Nancy said, a grade A bitch. And I think I have a piece to the puzzle your dad didn’t have before.”

Harri looked at her for a moment. “And you want to tell him? Why not let your dad tell him?”

Edie shrank even further on herself. “Because he doesn’t know.”

Everyone shared a shocked glance.

“Then how would you know?” Kenny asked.

Edie licked her lips and pursed them. “Dad doesn’t know that sometimes she’ll call me up out of the blue and try to turn me against him. She’ll throw insults and bring up horrible shit he did. Her favorite thing to do is tell me how easy he was to manipulate.”

“Fuck.” Harri was so glad that his papa hadn’t been like that. “Yeah. We can go over to my place after school.”

“Thanks.”

***

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9  Part 10 Part 11  Part 12  Part 13 Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk​ @trashpocket @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @mightbeasleep @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @trashpocket @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @steddie-as-they-go @lillemilly @callas-shitshow @bisexualdisastersworld @renaissan-vvitch @immortal-iratze @bookbinderbitch @thylatrek @lilacrobin @nightmareglitter

[sissa-arrows]

A 12-13 years old North African child in Neuilly sur Seine, is out of school (doctor’s order) until the end of the year at the very least for severe PTSD because he’s been bullied for the past few months by 4 Jewish kids in his class.

They spent months insulting him daily from last September 2023 (beginning of the school year) until March 2024. After October 7th they started bringing up Palestine into their insults and bullying as well. When the kid asked to his mom “What does it mean to be a Hamas conspiracy theorist?” And the mom wondered where her son heard that and put the pieces together realizing her son was being bullied.

The 4 pieces of shit did all of that in front of witnesses in school, going all the way in front of his home to threaten him and show they knew where he lived as well as harassing his mom on the phone. But the school fucking refused to do anything and actually BOTH SIDED the situation. Eventually the Board of Education forced the school to suspend the bullies a couple days and then put them in different classes so the access to their victim wouldn’t be so easy. Given that it lasted 6 fucking months without any sanction the Board of Education most likely acted only because when the parents sued the bullies and when a doctor diagnosed the North African kid with PTSD they realized they could get sued for “failure to assist a person in danger” so they decided to finally move their asses.

Link to one of the articles talking about this in French.

I won’t comment at length because I don’t want the cops to wake me up at 6 am but I have a couple things to say…

1: If the role were reversed we wouldn’t be hearing about it only now and the school would have behaved differently.

2: Every single news outlet brings up October 7th and while it wouldn’t matter even if they started after October 7th, they started BEFORE. A whole fucking month before.

3: One day we will have to address how much anti Arab racism is prevalent in the French Jewish community.

[hedgehog-moss]

[1] `there are often translations available in other languages long before English ones` This is really interesting! I'm familiar with translation in games, where english is often a very early target (a small game might get 0-5 translations, depending on amount of text) because the size of the market is larger.

[2] Do you happen to know why this is different for books? Is it faster to come to a deal about publication rights for some other languages to get started on the translation? Is translation to english harder (at least from French) than to say, Spanish?

The literary translation situation has long been very dismal in the English-speaking world! I don’t know a lot about video games, but are localisations provided by the company that makes the game? Because if that's the case it makes sense that games would get translated into English as a priority. For literary translations which are imported rather than exported, other countries have to decide to translate a foreign author and anglo countries (US, UK and Canada at least) are not very interested in foreign literature. There's something known as the "3% rule" in translation—i.e. about 3% of all published books in the US in any given year are translations. Some recent sources say this figure is outdated and it’s now something like 5% (... god) but note that it encompasses all translations, and most of it is technical translation (instruction manuals, etc). The percentage of novels in translation published in the UK is 5-6% from what I’ve read and it’s lower in the US. In France it's 33%, and that’s not unusually high compared to other European countries.

I don't think it's only because of the global influence of English* and the higher proportion of English speakers in other countries than [insert language] speakers in the US, or poor language education in schools etc, because just consider how many people in the US speak Spanish—I just looked it up and native Spanish speakers in the US represent nearly 2/3rds of the population of France, and yet in 2014 (most recent solid stat I could find) the US published only 67 books translated from Spanish. France with a much smaller % of native Spanish speakers (and literary market) published ~370 translations from Spanish that same year. All languages combined, the total number of new translations published in France in 2014 was 11,859; in Spain it was 19,865; the same year the US published 618 new translations. France translated more books from German alone (754) than the US did from all languages combined, and German is only our 3rd most translated language (and a distant third at that!). The number of new translations I found in the US in 2018 was 632 so the 3% figure is probably still accurate enough.

* When I say it’s not just about the global influence of English—obviously that plays a huge role but I mean there’s also a factor of cultural isolationism at play. If you take English out of the equation there’s still a lot more cultural exchange (in terms of literature) between other countries. Take Olga Tokarczuk’s Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead; it was published in 2009, and (to give a few examples) translated in Swedish 1 year later, in Russian & German 2 years later, in French, Danish & Italian 3 years later, in English 10 years later—only after she won the Nobel. I’m reminded of the former secretary for the Nobel Prize who said Americans “don't really participate in the big dialogue of literature” because they don’t translate enough. I think it's a similar phenomenon as the one described in the "How US culture ate the world" article; the US is more interested in exporting its culture than in importing cultural products from the rest of the world. And sure, anglo culture is spread over most continents so there’s still a diversity of voices that write in English (from India, South Africa, etc etc) but that creates pressure for authors to adopt English as their literary language. The dearth of English translation doesn’t just mean that monolingual anglophones are cut off from a lot of great literature, but also that authors who write in minority languages are cut off from the global visibility an English translation could give them, as it could serve as a bridge to be translated in a lot more languages, and as a way to become eligible for major literary prizes including the Nobel.

Considering that women are less translated than men and represent a minority (about 1/3) of that already abysmally low 3% figure, I find the recent successes of English translations of women writers encouraging—Olga Tokarczuk, Banana Yoshimoto, Han Kang, Valeria Luiselli, Samanta Schweblin, Sayaka Murata, Leila Slimani, of course Elena Ferrante... Hopefully this is a trend that continues & increases! I remember this New Yorker article from years ago, “Do You Have to Win the Nobel Prize to Be Translated?”, in which a US small press owner said “there’s just no demand in this country” (for translated works); but the article acknowledged that it’s also a chicken-and-egg problem. Traditional publishers who have the budget to market them properly don’t release many translations as (among other things) they think US readers are reluctant to read translated foreign literature, and the indie presses who release the lion’s share of translated works (I read it was about 80%) don’t have the budget to promote them so people don’t buy them so the assumption that readers aren’t interested lives on. So maybe social media can slowly change the situation by showing that anglo readers are interested in translated books if they just get to find out about them...

[stampedestring]

(eBay source)

(eBay source)

An article on Clint Eastwood (Rawhide): "This Cowboy Feels He's Got It Made", TV Guide, February 4–10, 1961, pp. 8–11.

I typed out the text from this to make it easier to read, but I didn't check if it was already floating elsewhere on the Internet before I did this—whoops. Highlights:

Mention of Eastwood singing on an episode and preparing to cut a record (presumably Rawhide's Clint Eastwood Sings Cowboy Favorites, 1963)

Eastwood complaining about how annoying his long hair is and how he can't wait to get it back to a crew cut (I was surprised by this, considering his hair in the 70's)

How he got started on his pre-Rawhide career from 1954 to 1958. "'You,' said the assistant director, using the line generally reserved for pretty high school girls, 'oughta be in pictures.'"

Article (typed out) below the cut!

THIS COWBOY FEELS HE'S GOT IT MADE

Clint Eastwood of 'Rawhide,' an amiable young giant, just wants that cattle drive to go on and on and on

The dimly lighted outdoor set on MGM's vast Stage 22 made it difficult to distinguish the many figures that milled around the off-stage area. It was the Rawhide set, which differs little from any other set except for the small collection of tired-looking horses and the large collection of unkempt actors dressed in soiled cowboy outfits. The trim-looking script girl seemed oddly out of place.

Clint Eastwood, the tall, almost gangling young actor who plays Rowdy Yates, shuffled his feet and introduced a visitor to his co-star, deep-voiced, ebullient Eric Fleming.

"Yar," said Fleming to the visitor. "Are you anybody important? If you are, we'll find you a chair. Otherwise you can stand up like the rest of us peasants."

Fleming wandered off to study the various bits and scraps of paper to which he habitually reduces his script, and Eastwood unshuffled his feet long enough to pull up a couple of canvas chairs.

"I was sleeping," he said sheepishly. "You should have woke me up. Went back to the dressing room just to lie down for a bit."

The name Rowdy fits Eastwood about as well as Pollyanna fits Alfred Hitchcock. Even when completely awake, his manner is mild to the point of being apologetic. An amiable, quiet-spoken giant (6 feet 4) of 30, Eastwood likes to describe himself as "dull but happy." He has been married for the past seven years to model Maggie Johnson, lives in a San Fernando Valley ranch house, spends most of his off time prancing about in the surf at the beach or sitting home listening to his homemade hi-fi set.

A gentle soul, Eastwood is the kind of man who carefully picks struggling bees and grasshoppers from the surface of a swimming pool and returns them to their own element. "I always feel," he says a little defensively, "that they were put here for some purpose and it's not my business to let them drown."

Eastwood is, in fact, the antithesis of the hard-driving, ambitious young men who populate most of the other TV Westerns now on the air. They incorporate themselves, branch out into other businesses, itch to "do a play on Broadway," try their hand at directing and even producing. They are the Richard Boones, the Hugh O'Brians, the Robert Hortons, the Jim Arnesses, the Steve McQueens. And there are others.

Eastwood's medium-sized ambition at the moment, with Rawhide ready to begin a three-month layoff, was to star in a farcical French play for a Hollywood little-theater group. "We'd only do it for a couple of weeks—just for laughs," he explained. [It never came off, even for laughs.—Ed.]

"Then I'd like maybe to do a feature, something that might get me away from Westerns. I don't mean that I'm any drawing-room kind of actor or anything like that, but I always used to wear my hair in a crew cut and it would be kind of nice to get back to it again.

"They tell me the guys really did wear their hair long like this in the old trail days, but I don't see how they stood it. I would have sheared mine off as close as I could get it. Darn stuff picks up more dirt."

When Rawhide temporarily ceased production in mid-December (the series' comfortable backlog of episodes already filmed spurred the layoff to give producer Charles Marquis Warren time to work on his new Gunslinger series), Eastwood had done some [illegible digits] episodes of the hour-long films over a period of two years and was still looking forward to "doing as many more as the viewers care to put up with."

"I figure," he mused, "that I've done a little something for Rawhide, but I also figure they've done a little something for me. I have my beefs now and then, like anybody, but nothing serious. I'm under contract to CBS and sometimes they won't let me do an outside show because of what they call 'sponsor conflict.' I figure this is a little farfetched, but it's really not all that important, so I just go along."

Last September Rowdy Yates sang a song in a Rawhide episode. This has resulted in negotiations with several record companies, commercial enterprises dedicated to the proposition that while Frank Sinatra is good, anyone else who can sell records for whatever reason also is good.

(Proof of this, as any hapless parent with a teen-age offspring will willingly testify, lies in the fact that 13 of TV's Western heroes, most of them hitherto utterly inexperienced in the art of singing, have made at least one record. Eastwood makes the 14th—and this figure does not include any of the singing cowboys of prehistoric times, such as Gene Autry, Roy Rogers and Jimmy Wakely.)

Eastwood's flirtation with Tin Pan Alley is not to be construed as an indication that he is about to mount up and ride off in seven different directions. Eastwood likes Rawhide. He is even proud of it, which is a far cry from the average Western hero, who can't wait until his contract is up and school is out.

"I like to think," he says reflectively, "that Rawhide is at least honest. I mean, we're doing stories as they pretty much happened. Oh, occasionally I guess we hoke one up for dramatic purposes, but generally speaking we're doing the kind of things that guys on the cattle drives really did."

Warren, whose experience goes back to the first year of Gunsmoke and Jim Arness, says of Eastwood: "He's more than just a personality, I think. He's an actor. A quite fine actor, in fact. Like any other actor, he beefs now and again but they're generally justifiable beefs. If he thinks his part is too small in any given script, I'll hear about it.

"I think next season we may work on a strictly alternating basis, Eastwood to carry an entire show, then Fleming to carry one. That'll keep 'em both happy."

Eastwood fell into show business rather easily. While studying at Los Angeles City College in 1954 he also was holding down a part-time job at a filling station. One of his customers invited him to a cocktail party, and there he met an assistant director from Universal-International.

"You," said the assistant director, using the line generally reserved for pretty high school girls, "oughta be in pictures." A few days later he was, if a screen test can be considered a picture, and the test resulted in a contract and a series of insignificant parts in equally insignificant pictures. Remarkably, considering his height, looks and inexperience, he was cast in only one Western, and in it had just one line.

Leaving Universal after a year and a half, Eastwood signed on with RKO and found himself getting "Introducing Clint Eastwood" billing opposite Carol Channing in a Ginger Rogers movie called "The First Traveling Saleslady." The picture was not a success. Indeed, RKO folded shortly thereafter.

After a brief stint at Warner Brothers, where he appeared, briefly, in another unsuccessful picture, "Lafayette Escadrille," Eastwood wandered into TV via a role in a Highway Patrol episode. Late in 1956 he got into the now syndicated West Point series, going to New York to appear in "about half a dozen of them. The trouble with that series was that practically nothing ever happens to West Point cadets in real life. They march, go to classes, play football, study and go to bed. We'd open an episode with some strong dramatic line like 'You stole my laundry!' And where do you go from there?"

In short, Eastwood's "career" between 1954 and 1958 was about as fruitful and exciting as a postponed PTA meeting. One day early in 1958, however, he stopped by at CBS to see a friend of his wife's. Bob Sparks, then a CBS television executive, also picked the same time to drop in to see the same friend. He stared at Eastwood, took him back to his own office and had him read for a role that had been stumping producer Warren. The role was that of Rowdy Yates.

By that fall, 10 episodes of Rawhide, all an hour long, and expensive, had been filmed and there were still no takers. Eastwood got permission to do a Maverick over at Warner Brothers, the only other TV Western in which he has ever appeared. Rawhide finally got on the air in January 1959, and he has been with it ever since.

Says Clint: "I wasn't going anywhere when this show came along. Now I guess I'm a star. Eventually, like anyone else, I'd sort of like to branch out a bit, do other things. I don't figure Rawhide will last forever, but I don't figure to walk out on it, either."

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: Of all the many languages you speak which is your weakest one? Do you use those languages?

It’s privilege to learn any language that isn’t your mother tongue. As Ludwig Wittgenstein correctly observed, “The limits of my language means the limits of my world”. If English is our native tongue we put ourselves at a disadvantage because we expect every other nationality to take the trouble to speak it. There seems no incentive to learn a foreign language. We become lazy not just in language but also in other ways including our cultural enrichment, our imagination, and a misplaced sense of our self-importance in the world.

Of the European languages I know, I probably think German would be my weakest. When I was in school in Switzerland you’re brought up in three languages: French, Italian, and German (even if the Swiss speak Swiss German). When I say weakest I mean I can converse fluently, but I don’t have time to read German literature in the same immersive way I would say with French literature or take any special interest in German affairs.

I would say I’m fairly fluent in French now but still prone to silly mistakes. I’ve been told that I can speak without an accent and that is heart warming to know, because that was always the goal once I moved here to France. I don’t really use French in my work as it’s a multi-national entity and so English is the default language of corporate world, but I’m speaking French pretty much the rest of the time outside of work.

I was extremely fortunate to be born into a multi-lingual family where Norwegian and English were spoken from birth. All my siblings were being versed in Latin (not Greek which came years later after doing Classics at university) by the time I was 8 or 9 years old because my father was a classicist and he felt Latin was the building blocks to mastering other languages.

All this occurring whilst we moved lived and moved around a lot in the world such as China, Japan, India, and the Middle East. When I was initially sent to one of the first of my English girls boarding schools I was horrified that most of the girls only spoke English. I thought I was the stupid one for only knowing 6. Boarding school, if nothing else, gave me a great privilege to hone in on the languages I did know and start to learn others.

My parents didn’t take the easy way out and put us children in international schools like all the other expat children. That would have been too easy given how tight knit the British expatriate community was out there. Instead we were left to sink or swim in local schools in places like Tokyo and Kyoto in Japan or Shanghai in China or in Delhi, India. It was a struggle but you soon find your feet and you stumble towards some basic level of fluency.

I’m fortunate that before Covid my corporate work took me often to the Far East and it was a great opportunity to hone what I already knew. The result is I can converse and take business meetings in Chinese and Japanese (though English gets thrown into the mix too).

I would say Chinese is more of a struggle for me these days because I’ve not been back since before the Covid lockdown in 2020. Chinese is one of those languages that can easily melt away if you don’t get the chance to converse in it on a regular basis. Japanese less so, probably because the culture had more profound impact on me than Chinese culture.

Hindi is less of an issue because I have close Indian friends and also I watch Bollywood movies as well as converse with Indian immigrants here in Paris who have local stores. Urdu I learned through the backdoor because Urdu has a spoken affinity with Hindi (if you know Hindi then you know spoken Urdu, more or less, especially in Northern India and cities like Delhi where Urdu was born in the burnt ashes of Mughal India). Reading is another matter because they each use different scripts - Sanskrit for Hindi and Arabic and Persian script for Urdu.

Strangely enough when I was doing my tour in Afghanistan years ago with the British army, I would speak Urdu with local Afghans who served as official translators or were selling goods on the base. These Afghans knew Urdu because an entire generation of Afghan boys and girls grew up in refugee camps on the Pakistani border during the different phases of the Afghan war. I have very fond memories of their friendship and hospitality, but less so of the war itself. 

With Arabic, it had lapsed woefully until I did a posting in Dubai in the past year (as catalogued in my blog) and I found myself suddenly remembering a lot and asking Arab friends. Soon I was able to hold my own amongst my colleagues and corporate clients. In these cultures it’s really hard to stay focused because so many of them speak very good English. So it’s hard to get them to stick with their own language because you want to learn from them - but they want to show off their English proficiency - and so you have to be polite but persistent to stick with Arabic.  

If you’re learning a new language then I hope you stick with it. There’s almost nothing more rewarding in your life than the disocovery a rich culture through language. The key is to find a way to make it fun rather than a trip to the dentist chair for a root canal operation.

Thanks for your question.

[yulsbabymama]

Disventure Camp Headcanons Part 1

AIDEN

Half Argentinian Half French Canadian

Had a huge TOP phase in middle school

Only child

Super good singer but hates hearing his voice

ALEC

Afro-Turkish and Japanese

Diagnosed w Autism when he was a child

Smokes

Started drinking shortly after he got married; relapsed after his separation w his ex

Has an older sister by 7 years

ALLY

Transgirl; came out to her grandfather and he was the only supporter she had

Definitely had obsessive love disorder when meeting Hunter the first time

Super fucking bad at dancing

Likes K-pop (Fromis_9, Stray Kids, Billlie, P1harmony, Enhypen, Stayc, aespa, ITZY)

ASHLEY

Country music defender

will actually die on the Country Music hill

like she's from Texas but she's FROM TEXAS ykwim

Transgirl; realized she was a girl at a young age and transitioned w a supporting family

Would probably roll her eyes at u if u assume she loved AppleJack when she was younger

I mean, she did

but not as much as ppl assume

CONNOR

Jewish

Despite having a booming business, he still doesn't understand technology

but he WAS a boss at programming his MySpace page

"programming is my passion" college dude

Nickelback liker

I'm so sorry

DAN

He and his sister shared a bedroom until she moved out

Actually convinced her to come back home bc he missed her

like

crying on his knees

"PLEASE COME HOME IT'S SO MISERABLE WITHOUT U THERE I MISS U"

blasting a radio to her favorite songs

did i mention he loves his sister

Pokemon kid

Oh, he's also autistic

DEREK

Half Filipino and half Columbian

Transguy; was an unhappy "girl" growing up and would refuse to listen to anyone who didn't call "her" by Derek

Facebook user

only to troll, tho

He tried trolling on Twitter too but Trevor had to pry the phone out of his hands

Secretly likes Trevor

and by secretly I mean he angry-cried while writing drafted emails of his confession

Barely cries or anything like that, emotionally, but angry-crying is his #1 basically

Is not a registered gun owner

DREW

Other than the notebook, he has a communication device

Adopted

Video games hurt his eyes

so do mobile games

Honestly i think he just needs glasses

likes dogs :)

ELLIE

Half Irish and Half Singaporean

Transgirl; came out in her last year of junior high

Middle child w two sisters

While struggling w her identity, she was a Pick Me girl to fit in #sad!

she ended up giving up on fitting in #gogirl

Malay's her first language

Mom passed when she was little

tolerates cats

FIORE

3/4th Italian 1/4th Chinese

hates horror movies

not bc she's scared of them or anything

she just thinks they suck

forced into a ton of shit to become normal

girlscouts, ballet, soccer, etc

she hated everything

but she can make a good cookie deal

GABBY

Has an unhealthy obsession w watching drag shows

she doesn't understand any of the lingo

she just thinks the outfits r pretty

LPS kid

also watches too much animal documentaries

will actually sit down and say "im bored, time to watch a 6 hour doc on cheetahs"

she just cray cray like that #loveher

unhealthy addiction to stickers

GRETT

Transgirl #slay

was a Toddlers & Tiaras kid

passenger princess

forces Yul to drive her places

they have almost broken up 5 times bc of this

she also genuinely forgot to tell him she was #trans

u should've seen the look on his face

when

..

yeah

#hedidnotcare

that's ooc but idc

she's bi :3

HUNTER

Half Chinese Half White

Dad left after his youngest sister was born

Lived in China until he was 8

He has autism

Christian btw

like pslam bunch-of-numbers in his bio

can quickly change languages like that

will talk to u in english then will answer his phone in cantonese

texts like a millennial

:/ sorry

smokes

the killers, staind, blink-182, and r.e.m fan

plays the guitar

JAKE

Half Korean Half Japanese

cannot speak those languages fluently, tho

sorry

he and his brother wrestled a lot

his brother would always win

anyways he was a theater kid

but quit bc of some drama

haha. get it ?

one of those gays who cries to mitski & ricky montgomery

but only listens to them when he needs to cry

which is often

JAMES

has been in cringe compilations before

imagine if i just ended this w just that hc

would that be funny

anyways

one of those middle schoolers who was violently supportive of the lgbtq+

like everyone knew he liked boys

except him

loves his younger sister

like a lot

they r bffies

will call her in the middle of the night randomly

"i just posted a new tiktok, go like it."

JENSEN

genuinely have nothing for him

like

can i just say he's dreamed of men shirtless before and end it at that

um so yeah

[sayitaliano]

I was thinking at how someone reminding us of our worth can be fundamental at times (or us doing it) and I suddenly remembered my high school English teacher: she's been with us for 4 years, guiding us through from middle school to high school. I'm still pretty sorry she had to change school on our last year, I would have really loved to thank her properly for all she did (for me specifically ofc) and salute her… but that's how things go sometimes.

Anyway, during that 4th year our school gave us students the chance to take the exam for the FIRST Certificate in English by collaborating with the Cambridge University. They held afterschool courses as well to prepare us properly, but in all honesty… it all was pretty expensive. I thought: "I want to give it a try. If I pass well that's great, and if I don't… whatever, I tried. But it would bug me a lot to spend all those money in case it won't go well". So I decided to sign in for the exam but avoid the courses. My parents basically agreed 100% with my thought (they didn't show too much enthusiasm about the exam either: I think they didn't even know what it was about), while my teacher immediately told me: "If someone can make it this way, it's you" and she told me this in such a confident way that I had to believe her. She also helped me a lot, giving me further homework and making me work a lot more in class as well (I was the one in charge of reading, chatting and solving most of the exercises during lessons).

What you may not know is that during middle school (3 years) I had only studied French, and the few months of English I had done during the last 2 years of primary school, had basically entirely vanished from my mind (except for a lullaby I still remember? lol). I basically had to start all over. And by this I mean that even pronouncing "business" has been a big deal during my first year (especially the first 6 months: I kept using french words/accent here and there). But she had been so patient and helpful, suggesting me to listen to music (with lyrics/translating them and singing), and making it all easier and better, putting me at work without having me notice it or feeling the weight of it all/feeling targeted. And encouraging me a lot also with grades. And you know, in my 4th year I made it. I took the FIRST exam and passed it with C1.

Funnily enough my friends, who had joined the courses too, passed with A2 and B1: this for a while confused me and made me think I made it with the bare minimum (I wrongly considered A the top level LOL)… it was only after few years that I realized the truth. And yet I couldn't say thank you to my teacher for believing in me and in my potential so badly. But at times we realize what happened and what we did only after years and that's okay. I hope y'all had/have/will have someone like her in your life too.

And just in case... I'm here with this story to tell you that you can make it too: don't give up. Keep working and experimenting with the best way for you to study/learning, keep practicing and you will make it (ofc this works also for other aspects of life, not just languages ;) ). I really really believe in you.

[study-with-aura]

Monday, March 25, 2024

It's RAD exam week! I am taking the Advanced Foundation exam this year, and I am so nervous! My time is tomorrow at 10:00, so wish me merde! This also means that I am missing a day of school work tomorrow, but oddly enough it works out. Since this is the Easter holiday weekend, there is no dance meaning I will be spending Saturday completing what I missed.

I feel like today was mostly all vocabulary review. I did some of it while Mom drove me to ballet. Honestly, sometimes the drive to and from ballet is perfect for vocabulary study, language lessons, or reading when necessary. I do often talk to my parents while they're driving me, but sometimes, the only way for me to get everything I want to get done in a day complete, is to work through that time, but most days, that is not the case and we can chat about whatever.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned to construct the circumcenter, incenter, centroid, and orthocenter of a triangle + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Units 19-21 vocabulary + read chapter 43 of Emma by Jane Austen

Spanish 2 - Reviewed vocabulary + listened to a story in Spanish

Bible I - Read Judges 19-20:11

World History - Read about Joseph Stalin + watched a biography on Stalin + completed review questions + completed the Russian Revolution Chart

Biology with Lab - Reviewed vocabulary from all previous units

Foundations - Read more on self-control + completed next quiz on Read Theory

Piano - Practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - Completed High School Geometry Unit 8: Lesson 12

CLEP - Completed Module 11 reading "Europe: 1918-1945" 13.6 + watched Module 11.1-11.2 lecture videos

Streaming - Watched episode 7 of Life on Our Planet (evolutionist perspective)

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 182-254 of Dear Medusa by Olivia A. Cole

Chores - Cleaned my bathroom + cleaned windows in my bedroom and in the study + took the trash and recycling out

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Ephesians 2)

Volunteered for two hours at the library

Ballet

Contemporary

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have the opportunity to take ballet examinations at my dance school.

Quote of the Day:

All dreams are within reach. All you have to do is keep moving towards them.

-Viola Davis

🎧Pièces de Clavecin V. Le Tic-Toc-Choc ou Les Maillotins (Ordre XVIII, 6) - François Couperin

[josefavomjaaga]

Thanks for answering. Just doing some quick looking into it myself beyond what you mentioned in your answer. In the French Wikipedia article it mentions that Napoleon Bonaparte learned of her existence in 1802 when he overheard a conversion about her and then brought her to Paris and there was some jealously from the Empress and her daughter since the Emperor became very fond of her (although jealousy among the Emperor's relations both blood and in-laws seems pretty par for the course).

Also Eugène de Beauharnais's eldest daughter marries Crown Prince of Sweden (only son of former French Marshal Bernadotte and Napoleon Bonaparte's dejected fiancée Désirée Clary) while her own eldest daughter marries deposed Swedish Crown Prince in exile in Vienna.

Also Queen Sophie of the Netherlands mentioning her death in her correspondence google<dot>com/books/edition/A_Stranger_in_The_Hague/rp29cF15SpAC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Duchess%20Hamilton%20inauthor%3AQueen%20Sophie%20(consort%20of%20William%20III%2C%20King%20of%20the%20Netherlands)&pg=PA206&printsec=frontcover

First of all: thank you so much! I feel like poor Stéphanie really is overlooked, because she did not stay at Napoleon's court for long. Basically, she gets noticed by the First Consul (or possibly rather by Josephine), sent to Madame Campan's bording school (because where else) and only truly shows up at court in 1805/6, in order to be married off to poor Karl von Baden, who had just lost his former fiancée Auguste von Bayern to a certain Eugène de Beauharnais (Stéphanie's cousin).

Which is a story in itself, of course.

I am not sure the cousins were particularly close. In a letter to Eugène Josephine refers to Stéphanie as "la petite Beauharnais", the little Beauharnais, which seems a bit odd given the close family relations. But it also could just be a nickname and need not mean much.

The marriage to Karl von Baden - as the story goes - started out exceptionally bad. By most accounts, Karl was not a friendly character in the first place, and he was still hurt about having been denied a good marriage (to a princess from an old regime princely family) and now being ... strongly invited to conduct a - in his eyes - bad one with some lower nobility girl who had merely been adopted by the French emperor. (According to Bavarian crown prince Ludwig, Karl shortly before his marriage accused Ludwig of not having done enough to strengthen his sister's resolve and to avoid Auguste's marriage to Eugène de Beauharnais.)

Stéphanie, as to her, was not yet 17 years old and obviously not enchanted to get married to this strange German. When Karl showed up in Paris for the wedding, he still wore his hair braided in the Prussian fashion, much to the horror of his Parisian teen bride, who declared this hairstyle, and with it the bridegroom as a whole, inacceptable. When Karl went to see a barber and returned fashionably coiffed à la Titus - Stéphanie started crying and declared he was even uglier now.

As I said, not a good start. And it did not get much better because - as the story goes - during her wedding night Stéphanie locked herself up in the bedroom with some friends from bording school, while Karl was left outside, passing the night on a chair in front of the bedroom door... allegedly.

While much of this may be exaggeration and court gossip, there's little doubt that the marriage was not a happy one. During the Prussian campaign in 1806 Napoleon even felt the need to write to the marshal in whose corps Karl von Baden was to serve, in order to make sure that Karl would not get mocked openly by the soldiers. And I remember one letter to Berthier in which Napoleon wrote something to the effect of "Okay, if he absolutely wants to come, let him join the army. But I really wish he'd go home and make a baby with his wife!"

Poor Stéphanie must have felt quite alone in that rather strange Baden family she had married into. The person actually calling the shots in Karlsruhe was Amalie von Baden, Karl's mother (and also the mother of Queen Friederike of Sweden, Queen Karoline of Bavaria and the Tsarina Elisabeth of Russia). Karl's grandfather, Grand Duke Karl sen., was old and increasingly senile, but he had a young second wife in what was called a "left-hand marriage", and this lady was in a permanent feud with Amalie. Lastly, the old grand duke also had another son, a known intriguer and womanizer.

Happy family times. Especially as all these illustrious personalities immediately united in their dislike of that second class French princess they had been forced to accept into their family.

And it seems Stéphanie, after trying to adapt to her new circumstances, rebelled quite a bit. Enough to earn her some stern rebukes from her imperial adoptive father.

It took until 1809 for the situation to truly change, until Josephine had to leave court and the Beauharnais and their foreign relations thus lost their closest link to the French court. Napoleon's marriage to an Austrian may have been felt as a threat by all of the smaller Rhinebund states, who had received French support mostly in order to serve as a buffer against Austria, and who now suddenly found themselves sandwiched between two - always hungry - super powers. Their princely families immediately closed ranks, and this included Stéphanie.

Or maybe Karl had really started to grow fond of his wife. Their first daughter was born in 1811. And after Napoleon's fall, Karl refused to try and get a divorce. (It did not keep him from heaving wild orgies during his stay at the Vienna Congress though.)

Stéphanie did end her life in Baden, where she was very well-liked by the population.

[ameliagiovanna0]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @sisterofficerlucychen ilu 💕

How many works do you have on Ao3?

13

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

22,129

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Rookie and Chicago PD

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

Feel Your Kiss On Me

I Kinda Might Sorta Like Love You A Little Bit

When I Taste Tequila

Forever Feels Like This

5. Do you respond to comments?

I definitely try to. I used to be a lot better about it. But I absolutely read every single one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of them? I don't really do angst 😅 If I had to pick, I'd say Giants simply because the ✨situation ✨wasn't resolved

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls) is hella fluffy and it just has happy vibes. The ending for You Guys Got Married is just warm and fuzzy for me because I wrote it exactly how I wanted it to happen on screen

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I've never gotten any negative comments. Everyone has been so kind 🥰

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've tried, but I'm very bad at it lol. I've definitely written my fair share of allusions to something more spicy, but that's about it. I'd love to give it a better shot one of these days

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, it's not really my thing. I'm not really a huge fan of reading them either

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I once had a scene stolen almost word for word, but not an entire fic. I hasn't thrilled about it, but I chose to take it to mean that I did well writing the scene 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

no, but that would be pretty cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. @lady-rhaesnow beta read You Guys Got Married and offered some suggestions after I pestered her lol. I would love to cowrite something. I'm going to quote Ivy and say holler at me if you want to 😁

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Upstead was the reason I joined tumblr and started writing fics to begin with, and they'll always be my first love. Booth and Brennan were my first ever ship, so they hold a special place in my heart. However, Chenford has my whole heart at the moment ☺

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

I've been working on a third chapter off and on for months. I just can't figure out how to make it work the way I want it to. I just don't have the inspiration for it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, I guess? I think I'm pretty good at writing how a character feels and how their emotions affect them

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptors. I suck at describing body language and movement

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done a sentence or two, but that's it. I took four years of French in high school, and when someone says "it gets lost in translation," they're definitely right. I used Google Translate for those few sentences, and Google Translate sucks are nuances, so I'm afraid that I wouldn't get my point across properly. If I knew the language better, I'd be all for it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Chicago PD, specifically Upstead ☺

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

DON'T MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN MY BABIES I'm going to say Feel Your Kiss On Me or When I Taste Tequila. Idk I just really like them. I feel like they're really true to the characters, and I love the fluff and humor in them

Tagging @sylvies-chen @headlightsatmidnight @silverskull @fighterkimburgess @justmypartner no pressure 💕