#i mean i already have a d/une verse

[maidencfdeath]

o.livia williams played s.arah bolgers mom in two different things ..... this means I need a d.une prophecy verse where cassie is tulas daughter

[krisdreaming]

MASTERLIST | PART 2

˗`ˏ THIS IS PART 1 - READER POV ˎˊ˗

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime x Fem!Reader

Summary:  After the accident, you’re willing to give up anything so that Hajime can live. All things considered, your memories of him in exchange for his life seems like more than a fair trade. When it’s done, neither of you understands what’s happened, and it leaves you both hurting. Still, even without your memories, you can’t help but feel drawn to him. He still loves you more than anything. Your love will find a way… right?

WC: 1.6k

Warnings: Angst, Hospitals, Mentions of Character Injury / Death

A/N: I’m so excited to start this journey! This part is the only one that has any kind of supernatural / magical realism elements. It kinda just made the most sense to me as the vehicle for the entire rest of the plot so just... bear with me 😅 After this chapter, it’s all just normal canon-verse. 

Without further ado!!

The golden late-afternoon sunlight pours through the lone window in the hospital room and pools on the floor, not quite reaching the bed where Hajime is lying. The contrasting stringent white hospital lighting does nothing to improve his wan complexion. His cracked lips are turned slightly downward, and you wonder, with a sharp twinge in your chest, if even in this state, he can feel pain.

“I’m here, Hajime,” You say for what must be the hundredth time, reaching out again for his limp hand. The doctors have said that talking to him may help to comfort him, but you wonder if he can even recognize your voice. Even to you, it sounds small and foreign, hoarse from who knows how many hours of tears. The only response is the steady beeps and hums of the machines keeping him alive. You give his hand a gentle squeeze.

It’s been a week of this, now. A week since you got the call and rushed to the hospital as fast as you could. A week since you saw him lying too-still in that bed, a swath of bandages and a tangle of wires making his body look so, so small and helpless. A week since you sank to your knees the moment the doctor had left the room, clutching Hajime’s hand to your face until his skin was slick with your tears, only realizing afterwards that the strange, gasping sounds you’d been hearing had been coming from you all along.

You’ve spent every day here since. You’ve hardly eaten. What little sleep you can get is plagued by nightmares that wake you up in a cold sweat, reaching out desperately for a warm body that isn’t there. All that you know is this room, this chair, this bed, and the shallow rise and fall of Hajime’s chest.

A breath shudders out of you when you’re reminded, again, of what the doctor had said when you’d arrived this morning. “Y/N-san, the improvements we’ve been hoping to see haven’t been coming at the rate we’d expect. As it is now, the reality is that he may never wake up. The severity of the damage is becoming clearer as we continue with our testing. As difficult as this is to say, it may be the time to start preparing to say goodbye.”

You squeeze your free hand into a tight fist, feeling your nails dig into your palm. You run the thumb of the hand holding his gently across the backs of his fingers. “You know,” You begin, haltingly, trying to keep your voice as clear and normal-sounding as possible, “When this is all over, I’m going to make us a big picnic. I’ll make those onigiri you like so much, the ones with the pickled plum inside. You can eat as many as you want. I promise I won’t yell at you,” You pause to swallow back the thick feeling in your throat, “And we can have whatever else you want. Just say the word, and I’ll buy it. It’ll be the meal you’d never let any of your athletes eat in a million years,” You laugh softly.

“And by the time we’re done eating, well, the sun will probably be almost set. We can just lay back on the blanket and watch the stars come out, like we did that night last summer.” You pause, looking at him almost as though you expect him to answer, or at least nod. His expression doesn’t change.

“We can plan some more for the wedding. It’s going to be here in no time at all, you know,” Your thumb goes to the ring on your finger, twisting it back and forth in what’s become a familiar motion. “I know you don’t like the planning much, but we have to get it done.” You fall silent for a few moments, not wanting him to hear the way your voice has started to waver.

“Or maybe you’d rather just plan for the honeymoon,” You finally pick back up again, “We need to decide soon where we want to go. Hotels and plane tickets sell out fast, you know. What would be really fun is if we could visit Tooru in Argentina. I know you think it’s too far, but honestly, when else would we ever have the chance?

“We don’t have to spend the whole time with him, of course,” Your voice drops lower, “We’d want some time to ourselves. I hear the beaches there are nice. Or we could find a really nice hotel with a Jacuzzi and fancy room service.”

It might be your imagination, but the expression on his face seems just a little bit softer. It’s not a smile, but his lips aren’t turned down quite as hard as they had been, so you take it as a sign that you should keep going. “Of course, you know that I don’t really care where we go. We could spend the whole week in a hotel on the other side of Tokyo and you wouldn’t hear me complain.” You can practically see his incredulous smirk at that, and you choke out an almost-convincing laugh. “Well, you know what I mean.” You fall silent again, still tracing your thumb against his fingers, lost in your thoughts now.

All the while you’d been talking, you hadn’t notice the slowing of the heart monitor. His breaths are coming slower too, the rising of his chest barely noticeable anymore. Outside, twilight has fallen, and there’s no longer any natural light coming in through the window. You notice all of this at once, but you suddenly feel so sluggish that you can’t bring yourself to move, much less press the call button for one of the nurses. Even as the beeps fade to a single, steady whine, you feel frozen in your seat, his hand still in yours. There’s an eerie sense of calm descending over you.

When the whine stops, it seems to shake you out of whatever stupor you’re in. Blinking, you look around and find that the two of you are no longer alone in the room. In the corner farthest from the door, a human-like figure stands shrouded in the faintest yellow glow, like the last remnants of the sunset outside. It has the face of an elderly man, but there is something decidedly un-human in the way it carries itself.

“Hello, Y/N,” The figure’s mouth moves, but it’s almost as though its words are projected directly into your mind rather than spoken into the room. There’s a tingling quality to them, almost like an electrical shock, but not something altogether unpleasant.

You dig the heels of your hands into your eyes, thinking that the lack of sleep must be affecting you more than you realize. When you finally lower your hands, the figure hasn’t moved. “Are you… Death?” You aren’t unaware of how preposterous the question sounds. You grip Hajime’s hand tighter, and the figure seems to smile.

“Hardly. The concept of death itself as an entity is little more than a construct of the human imagination.” There’s a pause and a sound you could almost consider a chuckle, then it continues. “More accurately, I suppose you could call me Life.” It looks at Hajime’s still body almost mournfully. You aren’t sure how much time passes, or if any has passed at all.

“This life is very precious to you. Yes?” Its attention is back on you now.

“More than anything,” You breathe out, “I – I love him. We’re getting married.” You hold out your hand so that the being can see the ring on your finger. As if it would care. For some reason, it does lean forward and inspect the ring carefully.

“Hm. These kinds of things… they aren’t so cut and dry, you know.” Assuming at this point that you must be dreaming, you nod dumbly, even though you don’t really know at all. “Still, all hope is not lost. With the right material, a repair could be made.”

“A repair?” You parrot back, feeling your heart catch in your chest. Is it even beating right now?

“It will require something made up of the same stuff as the existing soul. Something strong and plentiful. Do you understand?” Your brow furrows, and you shake your head. Dream or not, you can’t even pretend to know what this being is trying to say.

“Your memories,” It says gently, as though explaining something simple to a small child. “If I could use all of your memories of him, I can save his life.” It watches you intently for a few moments, but you feel frozen in place, trying to comprehend what it’s asking of you. “I would understand if you decline. Others have.”

“So he will live?” It nods. “But I won’t remember him. Not even a little.”

“Not one memory can be spared,” It confirms. “It’s the only way.”

“Will I fall in love with him again? Will he – will he stay with me?”

The being gives an almost imperceptible shrug. “It can’t be known. Your future – that’s something you will have to work out on your own. The only thing I can promise you is that his life will be spared.”

You’re already nodding. “Then I’ll do it. We’ll find a way to be together. He won’t give up on me.” The being’s lips twitch briefly, but it nods.

“If you’re certain,” It’s already reaching toward you, fingertips hovering near your forehead.

“I am.” You screw your eyes shut, clutching onto Hajime’s hand tightly with both hands. “Do it,” You prompt, when you don’t feel the being move. And just like that, you’re awash in a sea of light and warmth for a few blissful moments before being plunged into a deep nothingness.

Taglist ; Send an ask or PM to be added! 

@pretty-setters​, @pink-panda-pancakes​, @usernamekate94​, @kellyyween​, @deerixiie​, @amzoeee​, @mididoodles​, @ntngann​, @kiiroyah

If your url is written without you actually being tagged, it means tumblr was giving me issues tagging you, but I’ll definitely try again next time!

[aelaer]

☕ I AM totally cooking you up in this ask on how much you know about the Accords and the way they relate to the US's federal law 👀👀👀

Ahhh, yeah, I was due an ask like this. It took a while to get to, so hopefully you eventually see it, md. Note that all regulations are directly from the Wiki, which drew from the canon of Agents of SHIELD, which had huge plot points around the Accords. Possibly the other old Marvel TV shows too, I’m not sure. And without this expansion, we’d know literally nothing about them, but they fit a lot of what was in the comics so I’m cool as accepting them as canon. Your Mileage May Vary.

This is super long so I put it under a cut.

Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.

Nothing breaking current US law. You’re expected to get fingerprinted if you do certain things for the state in certain states in the US. For instance, when I took a tutoring job for underprivileged children in my early college years, I was fingerprinted. I wouldn’t be surprised if higher-security jobs also require something similar.

However, to my knowledge these are all state or nationwide databases, not international. There may be some argument to be made about which officials from which country have access to your fingerprints, as it is with the Accords.

In this fictional universe, DNA samples may be more of an issue due to how meta-humans may have altered DNA and we alllll know that of those 117 countries that signed, at least a dozen of them would try to weaponize it in some capacity. If I were a meta-human in the MCU, this would be my largest concern.

Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.

This makes complete sense and should have been established long ago. If it wasn’t already established, then the world governments of the MCU are... well, just as slow and dumb as the real world’s.

Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.

The UN does not have the authority to dictate what an individual country does or does not allow their population to do, for better or worse. The atrocities carried out across the world by various world governments against their people is the best evidence of that.

That said, in this case, I don’t think it’s any of their business to dictate this. If France wants meta-humans in their police force regardless as to whether they’ve signed the Accords or not, that’s France’s business. If Japan wants to bolster their army with meta-humans who didn’t sign, that’s Japan’s business. The rest of the world may not be happy with that, but the UN is not an elected ruling body and just doesn’t have the authority to make regulations like that. A lot of countries will play nice with sweeping calls such as that and go along with them, but they’re under no obligation to follow them (and certainly not with US law - the UN’s rulings have zero legal ramifications here until they’re passed in state or federal legislatures).

Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.

Hahaahahhahahahahah. No. Breaks the Fifth Amendment in the Bill of Rights, which is a part of the Constitution (which equals the backbone of American law -- things that go to the Supreme Court are there to basically see if something is constitutional or not. It’s a lot more complicated than it sounds, though).

Unfortunately this is a real situation that’s being dealt with now with specific people of the “aiding terrorists” category throughout the last 20 or so years of presidency (both the left and right with politicians signing it, and both the left and right with American activists opposing it, according to my brief study on the issue - you can look up indefinite detention if you want to read more).

Regardless, super super breaks the Fifth Amendment. While the amendments were written for specifically American citizens or folks on American soil, I personally think it’s important it’s a value that is upheld with everyone, no matter what they’ve been accused of. But that’s all I’ll say on that real world topic. This UN mandate hits very close to home - kudos to the writer who put that in for that touch of reality.

The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).

Doesn’t break any known laws to my knowledge. Regulation of dangerous things is pretty common.

The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

I don’t think the UN has the legal ability to do that. The US government would need to do this as this is a private organization operating within the US on US soil. The US government has acquired private organizations in real life (like GM during the financial crisis of 2008), but they quickly find how much that sucks and sell them off as soon as they can, lol.

Again, the UN is operating under the supposition that they actually have the legal wherewithal to do this when, in reality, they don’t. There is no such thing as international law in the real world and I sincerely doubt in the MCU verse.

What would very likely happen, should Thanos not have ruined this exciting political drama, is that the US totally agrees to do this. Then a new administration or legislature comes in and reverses it 2-6 years later, assuming that all of the lawsuits from various countries didn’t cripple the Accords sooner.

Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.

Hahahahaha. Under whose authority? We’ve established there’s no international law. It’d be up to every single individual country to agree to not only do this, but *share* this list with every other country. If I was the decision maker in the US or China, there’s no way in fucking hell I’d do that. Israel or Iran? Fuck no! Do I *want* all my meta humans to be assassinated by other countries?

The MCU has this little fairy tale (that sometimes the real UN carries on with) that everyone gets along just great when, in reality, that’s really, really, really unlikely.

Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.

I could make an argument that this breaks the Fourth Amendment (unreasonable searches and seizures). You cannot forcefully take DNA from someone unless they’ve been convicted of a crime (and in, I think 20 states I just read, if you’ve been arrested, but even that’s been challenged under the Fourth Amendment in those various states the past decade).

If they’re already having a legal argument about this for DNA of people who were arrested, they’re going to have a hell of an argument for this requirement just for *existing*.

Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.

Oh that’s nice, the UN thinks meta-humans are animals! Likely breaks the Fourth Amendment. Found an interesting article about Amazon and their little tracking bracelets from two years ago that is semi-relevant, and those are employees. Imagine if you required everyone of some minority race or nationality to wear a tracking device because they’re statistically more dangerous due to the prevalence of crime amongst them, or something inane like that.

Yeah, it’s something like that bad. Definitely breaks the privacy protection that previous rulings regarding the Fourth Amendment have established.

Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

International law doesn’t exist. This is done via treaties and agreements, but again, the UN has no legal leg to stand on (and countries -- US included -- often just ignore them). If China wants to take over Nepal with meta humans, who the fuck is really gonna stop them? I mean, really? If the US wanted to take over Baja California from Mexico, same question. The UN just doesn’t have the authority (or frankly put, the manpower). Countries often play nice, but there’s plenty of times where they don’t, either.

(But you know who would try to prevent the US/China from taking over Baja/Nepal? Meta humans. That likely aren’t allowed to fight under Accords mandates but do so anyway, all the while flipping the bird towards their nearest UN building :D)

As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

See ���international law doesn’t exist and it’s up to each individual country to determine this for themselves” as explained in previous sections.

If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.

As established, breaks the Fifth Amendment of the US. And fuck, we saw this in action in Civil War-- or so it seemed. Ross definitely looked like he was leaning that way. I wouldn’t put it past Ross. He’s been bad news ever since he was hunting the Hulk.

The creation of self-aware artificial intelligence is completely prohibited.

Heh, not really applicable to the current world, but not necessarily something I’d like to see in the real world either. I’m afraid we’re gonna get a Skynet or HAL rather than a JARVIS or WALL-E.

This was fun, in a weird way.

[mhdiaries]

Wave 2 Diary of Draculaura

15♥September

I “broke up” with Jackson Jekyll today... not that we were ever really dating I mean officially, which would have been nice but every time he would ask me out he would totally pull the invisible boy act on me and not show up. Or call. The next day he was always very sweet and apologetic but he could never remember why he forgot our date. I guess the final nail in the coffin was when he didn’t meet me at this party and I totally felt like a one tombstone graveyard. I ended up dancing with this scary hot DJ named Holt Hyde who acted like he knew me although I’m pretty sure that we hadn’t met before. Jackson and I are still friends but sometimes that’s just how the tombstone crumbles.

25♥September

Went to the beach with Frankie, Clawdeen and Clawd to watch Lagoona surf. It was a beautiful day, which meant I had to break out the sunscreen although the stuff I have to use is more like sunwall. It’s so thick it’s like being coated in honey and it’s like a sand magnet so I pretty much have to stay on a blanket the whole time or I end up looking like a sand sculpture. Oh well, it’s worth the annoyance to get to spend the day at the beach.

30♥September

I stayed up late reading a new novel about a forbidden romance between a werewolf girl and a vampire boy... like that would ever happen... but it’s so sweet and tragic I couldn’t put it down. Of course I slept through my alarm and was almost late for school, which meant my makeup was a mess cause I couldn’t take my time putting it on. Luckily, Ghoulia saw me before anyone else did and she helped me straighten it out so I didn’t walk into my first class looking like an undead clown... not that there’s anything wrong with that.

1♥October

I took one of those quizzes to see what kind of creature I am - I think all the teen monster mags have them now - which seems kind of strange since like I already know. Anyway, the quiz had questions ike: What is your favorite haunt? What is your favorite food? Would you rather be dead or undead? Do you run, shamble, fly or ooze? So after I answered all the questions I turned to the back to read: Congratulations! You are a Woodland Nymph! You are kind, gentle and love sunshine and nature. You probably make your home in a tree where you enjoy the company of many woodland animals that you would never scare or eat. I wonder if I should share this with father? LOL... maybe not = )

7♥October 

Clawd and Spectra had a monster argument today and it created such a fuss that both of them got called into Headmistress Bloodgood’s office. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Clawd so angry or Spectra so self-righteous but neither of them would talk about it when they came out of HHB’s office - not even to me! Clawdeen thinks it has something to do with Cleo and Clawd but I totally don’t understand how she made that connection. Now Clawdeen is mad at Cleo. Again. This is really sad and since it seemed like they were starting to actually tolerate each other.  

12♥October

I know a lot of monsters are not excited about having to write an essay on our monster heritage but I think it’s creeperifically cool! First of all, I’m writing a screenplay about my un-life and I think this will really help the third act and secondly because it gives me the opportunity to set the record straight about a couple of things. Beginning with the fact that my father is much older than any monster realizes. I mean he was already a vampire back when togas were first considered fashionable... sooo glad father doesn’t wear one anymore. Then there was that whole identity theft calamity that happened when we rented our castle in Transylvania to a total con-monster who went around pretending to be father. Now I have to carry a copy of my death certificate to prove that I really am as old as I say I am cause some monsters think I must be related to that loser. Unfortunately for the imposter his bats came home to roost and not in a good way either. The rest of my story, like how father took in me and my mother when no one else would and why I’m a vegan vampire I’m going to save for the screenplay which I would like to film in pink and white. How scary cool would that be?

16♥October

In the span on 3 days Clawdeen missed a test in Mad Science, a school dance and a buy one get one shoe sale at the Maul. Frankie and I knew something had to be wrong but Clawdeen wouldn’t answer our texts or emails. Finally Clawd showed us a picture he took of Clawdeen with his iCoffin. Her hair... it was... it was... not of this world. Clawd said she couldn’t fix it and had to “ctrl+alt+delete her new ‘do” with a pair of electric clippers. He said she was so depressed that she turned all her mirrors toward the wall and wasn’t even growling at Howleen for borrowing her clothes. I suggested we shave our heads too but then Frankie reminded me how fast Clawdeen’s hair grows and that we’d be bald a lot longer than she would so we came up with the idea of going to the Maul and buying Clawdeen a fierce fashionista scare package to cheer her up instead and that’s just what we did. Of course we bought some things for ourselves too = )

25♥October

I was supposed to fang out with the ghouls last night but I didn’t. I tried to explain what happened to Clawdeen but I couldn’t. She was annoyed with me cause I always tell her everything. She thinks I’m keeping a secret from her which I guess I sort of am but I’m not sure I want to talk to anybody about it yet. So I wrote this poem to describe what happened. I don’t know why it’s easier for me to express emotions in verse but sometimes it just is. I read it to Count Fabulous who usually leaves the room when I get too sappy but this time he flew down and gave me a little bat hug when I was finished. 

One fall autumn night I took a walk jaunt

to meet some friends at a familiar haunt

The sky above was very starry bright

and there seemed to me not a cloud in sight

So off I went without sans umbrella or coat

although what I probably needed was really a boat

Caust the clouds came rolled in with a dragon’s roar

and shortly thereafter it bagan to pour

Not a pleasant rain, good for plant and flower

but a driving, unfriendly, cold hard icy shower

Now I was halfway between home and there

my makeup was running ruined and so was my hair

With no shelter in sight or a way to get dry

I put my head face in my hands and started to cry

When out of the shower rain a voice broke through,

“Hey D it’s me Clawd, hey D is that you?”

As I blinked through the tears and rain I could see

Clawdeen’s brother Clawd, waving at me

Across four lanes of traffic bravely he dashed

with umbrella in hand to my side he flashed

He led helped me back to his car warm and dry

said not a word till I’d finished my cry

“Here’s a hot coffinccino whip cream no foam,

it’ll warm you right up while I drive you home.”

From the car he walked me up to my door

protecting me still from the storm’s downpour

As he turned to leave I placed a kiss on his cheek

then I ran inside before he could speak.

And while I watched his car disappear from sight

I felt something happen change for me that night

No longer did I see him as just my best friend’s brother

that night, to me, he became something other. 

The great thing about poetry is that it doesn’t have to be epic to express how you feel. Now I have to wonder, “Does he feel the same?”

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars:         Season 2

      Episode 1 Holocron Heist

We just   had     a heist

[One   nonsense    enough    to knock    me into   nonsensical   incoherent      rambling...]

    Two

Okay...

I’m prepared...

To do.   nonsense...

  Urgh

   Okay..

[Title      Screen]

  [Woah!]

    ....  ..    

Aight

    Okay

A lesson learned,    A lesson earned

Oh..

     That         snapped me out of it,

     A lesson earned                  is           a lesson earned

        [you don’t need a        person to tell you     basic         common sense                                you can figure out yourself]

  ....

   Assumed authority is     bullshit                                       Don’t need to                                    earn any-      [Sorry,              Still           Recov-       er-         ing           From           Last          ep-        Isode]

                  Okay...

                   Any-way

                   Jedi on a                        planet                             . .

                     Some-how                         tr                            ap                               ped                                 -                          Surrounded                               Clones                                  -                                Right-                                     -                           Why?

                           Like - if you needed parts-

                           Okay-

                             I’m                                  in  

                               -terested

                                 Any way...

                                     Wait                                      cruisers?  

                                      Gun   ships?                                                                   R-escue

                                       Oh                                              wait-

                                          That’s                                              Good

                                            Oh             ��                                    No,

                                              It’s                                                    Plo..

Jokes       About       How       He      Got       His      Men      Blown      Up                         Just                                gonna                                 put                                   this                                 over                                 here

                              Been a                                 while

Also Hey     yeah      what         is         he        doing         here?

  Doesn’t         he       have      Jedi        things        to       do?

      Get           a         new         fleet?

        I mean                th-            (Don’t                Condone               Child               So-                L                diers!)

  But    every     time       it’s     always    Obi-Wan      and    Anakin    because        all         the           rest        of          them        are         too        busy

     So             What-

     Alright          -          Whelp           -          I      don’t       care         —-

   Whelp          —        Ex-plo          —         Is      this       just       going         to       be       an     action        piece?        (Nothing       wrong        with           that;           just        need           a      different      mindset,)

     From          the     applications             of        child       soldiers           -          To          Shoot-

    -Why?

      It’s-       Nice-

-Droids

   Plo-

 General-

     ?

Ev-

Neat-

Good-

 Whelp-

  Grab ‘em to the medic        And Go!

   (Seriously       Windu figured this out yesterday.)

    Grunts

    You’d         think        the Jedi would give the      order?

Seriously,         Good miss,          Five           Min-           Got          Some           One-          Killed

   “ Asoka,”

   First Asoka       mention in the first five minutes

                                [maybe they got her character                                     better.]

                                  -Jungle

                                    You sent-                                         A child

                                    That                                        Logically can’t improvise                                      ...                                              Into                                              a jungle

                                      ....

                                      The  

                                     Fuck    

                                    Skywalker?                                     

Con-tact      Her        -         Dead      -       She’s very likely      dead-       -      Anyway       -        Hope   Anakin     taught       her    those    moves-       -      That’s       a      lot       of     emotion          -           In        the        movements;         Again;

     Monotonous,           Stunted,            Robo              Tot              -ic

         That’s                How              Child-

Nope-

   Tone’s          Off

So,         just           to           go            over;

       1. Tone ❌        2.  Dia-                  Log                   Ue- (?)

        3. Move               -ment    ❌

              I’m hop-

Extract-

     Taught-  

     Okay- 

     Teach         -ing   s

     Aight           Mary          Sue-

      I’m        sorry         but         the        light          is       literally       coming         out!

      Whelp-

      Okay-

        So it’s Ahsoka an    adult yet?

         Like that can be explained away as   acco-untability

          Otherwise,     she should   have a hard time        with        one       Droid!

      (No wait didn’t Obi-Wan just call her                  ‘young one ‘)?

                 Nope!

           Movie, get over there in your               shame corner

  That-        Was painful       over-      reacting

 And         Focus-

   I    Don’t        -      You    couldn’t      have     forced          it     more             if     you    tried         -

        The             Force-           d cha-          nge i          -n         Perspective           Not      Apprec  -iate      D-        . . .    .      Moving         on

  Whelp        ...

    Get            In          -

   That’s           a      direct      order-         -

  “Can’t-”

   Nope!

   That’s            It-

   Tone ❌

   Dialogue; ❌,?

   Move;   ❌    Ment

  Turn in your bad  

  writing card,    

   Movie

   ❌

 (Not a series strike,        Just             A          “Fuck         You,          Strike

          On the            Movie                 And,                This            Chara              -cter

                               (We just had such a good-

                                              Maybe; it gets better?

                                                                               Skipped ahead;                                                                                          It doesn’t

                                                                                       Sigh-

                                                                              *Puts on earmuffs

                                                                                 Meta-phorically

Aight      Back        To       19:06      (Original      time     stamp;           Play

*Think

 Friendly      Fire-

 Nvm

*Thing      Ex-plodes

   In-       stantly

Whelp-     

 You   called       her   before      a   council            ??

   Child          -ren          Can’t          Think           -

Okay

        Movie

       Children                  can’t                         think-

    From ag-

      “This is-”. 

       It should                    be   

         -But                           The              writers                        -                refuse                      to                  write                                  her                                   as                                   child                           -       

The       Pro-

“I-

The          Pro-            Blem         As         the     story       seems   to         be        placing            the               Jedi            on            a            high          pedestal     

        .....                Their             actions               here                as              reasonable       

           .....                         But                          it’s                  not                            ...                If Ahsoka was a child it would be a cruel use of power showing how used only to put the younger generation down before they’re                  old enough to understand it

              And how they’ve given Anakin the illusion of power   

                  -Boomer                               Bait

              If she’s an adult;                           This would be a show of        how             she’s childified by her peers

               As it stands;       

               The writers refuse to chose

Concerning,  due to the fact that  

Child-ify                 Ing            An                Adult       ......    Is    Wrong

  And      adult-ify        ing        a       child       is    wrong         ...      

  Un        equivocally,

Tally    Of       How     Many       Times       Ahsoka-        Is        Adult          -ify          Ied-           ;     

      This is necessary

 [Excuse for odd formatting           The “Movie”,                (Under the                picture)                  Caused                    Tumblr                    To                  heck                   up                  my               spacing)

           Continuing                   on;

“Time    away      from     the      battle-       field,”

  Good,        For          A        Child       Solider        -     (And   would’ve     been       a     good     show      that      any     kind   -ness     from     them       is   performative           ...

                   “Guard duty,”

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         1

 Cite;      Child     ren    Don’t       have     that    much   emotion,        Nor    Pre-      fer      ence-        -

                 “Longer                       now,”

                    Dick                         —-                     Kinda

                     It’s                          better                            for                           children                             not                              to                               be                                in                              battle                                  —

                              So                                 not                                     a                                  complete                                    dick...

                                But                                   not                                    optimal...

                                 “Sorry”

So he said by people who don’t wanna take accountability for their actions and just stop doing the thing and     stop bringing the toxins into the world                                  

Point;     If you    were sorry    you would       stop     doing it,       stop     bringing         it        up,       and            do      better...     —-       Trying         to       control         the      narrative         isn’t          nice          (When           the          truth            is        objective)

       Only           the           self           may            be          both             .....

Security      -

  “Knowledge,”

    *Bag-age

      “Hm,”

  . .. .

   ...

...

Fisto  

...

 In-side

 St-upid      Forbid       Den    

Know-ledge

   (It’s likely   about     plants        Or      Weapons)

Also;

     Boomer         Bait!    

     (That’s something they offer younger         generations to follow their           stupid outdated tradition)

      It’s always          worse...

     (Also, this isn’t about Ahsoka trying to steal the         Holocon thing is it?

      Because her character is already                                                  -hateable- enough

        And if she has enough initiative             to steal the holocon

          - She’s an adult

           And should              be allowed entrance             anyway

          “Jedi            Council,”

             So,                  lady was a Jedi?

               Aight,

                Keeping an eye                     on that                        ...                  Aight                       -   

                 No

                 Went through one.                     drug trip

                   Already

                   .....

                 [Okay...

                ..Got                   a Drink                  of water                   ——                        Interrupt                     -ion

                  Wait I thought he was just a                     ball of                     fuck your plot

                  You’re telling me he actually works                      for                       Palpatine?

After   threaten       ing      Palpatine?

   This      dude           -        fucking         drug           trip            -

...Ser     vices

    I       honestly       thought          he         was             a          [fuck           your          shit]            guy

Now    he’s      a     de   tec- tive

Noir    ....

Movie     that’s      too      many     genres        .....

  You-     need       to    slow   down      .

          Your main            Chara-                   Isn’t                 Even               Esta-                    Blish                      -ed                      Prop                          er                         Ly

            Nevermind                    the           characterization

                 Note if it had been established he changes things every so often that would be neat

                 As                   it stands

               This                  dude is a                 fecking roller coaster

             Not any                thing                resembling                   good

[Giving    your      aud-   ience     a       drug   trip   isn’t   good   writing]

      It makes        them         dizzy!]

      So...       

    Holocron

    Like Palpatine is literally doing this just to fuck over       Ahsoka?

     Also, this is going to result in Ahsoka    being     unchild     -like       To take them out      too?

   I’ll get the -      counter     ready

[yes I have seen it    literally            every   Mall cop/ security guard movie   ever

The   fun     .    seeing how your    (Good)    chara      cters         -     interact     with      the   scenario          -       That’s      not   happening       here        -          If she was a child this would show how    Anakin‘s orders react with the environment

    If       she’s      an    adult;        We’re working through a checklist;         About        what we know about         her;

      Likes, dislikes, how they might come up in a   situation...

       The suspension...            coming when they do

With      Ahsoka...

  What do we know about her?

   Honestly?

    We know she likes         fighting         (Already in enabler of toxic behavior           -against other living beings)

       We know literally       nothing else about          her

       Except...

      That she’s      perfect...

Re-moving         All      Tension;

  Deal

I’m surprise he just wasn’t like    oh      yeah      sure,”

   [Ditches         with       the money]

    ...         ..

   Oh they’re actually talking   strategy

   Usually it’s just         ‘fuck em’ up            And that’s all             we ever           hear

Er-

Whelp-     Yodi’s    dead

Alas,       Poor      Narc

[assuming he can actually sense     disorder in the ranks]

 Gen.      Leader      Ship.      Tox

 He should know     he shouldn’t be doing that

  Focusing     on him       self

    And        practic        ing     accountability          ....       Constantly     micromanaging           and      checking            in            on             your           peers                   ..            Isn’t           going          to make             them           more           likely           to be       accountable..

        It’s         going            to          piss         them             off              ...

      Your (evident) distrust creating a toxic environment              As you were refused to               trust their   char   -acter

  You can’t give me   respect the guy that was just snooping      (Through the whole   uni-verse)

      That’s           the         point...

         A         dis-turbance          in the force

     Yeah?

     Intruders there will   be

     Okay, bullshit       he can see that

   Like;           Peri-pheral            Okay

    (Still tox that you don’t expect your peers          in a peripheral.          to be able to hold             accountability)

But this is galaxies     away        (Ac-tually.    on    Corousant)

  But.      He         Should        n’t       Know        That-

  ‘The      Narcs    pulling    authority     again,       master,”

  “Shh,       this         is         what         we        train-    I mean groom -        you         for!,”

     “But          You            Said,”

      (Con-tinuing             Earl-ier,)

   [Seriously        I meant to bring it up                                earlier,

             But are they really inhabiting                      Zero the hutt’s                         old hotel]

Like it could just be a Noir hotel

 But the positioning       and location         seem         familiar             . . .

     Tell        me...

    Who          the       frick           is          this?            ?

   “What            you        are      doing      back      there?”

    ...   ..

  Aight...

 Assis      -tance

    God          Lord,           He’s           Try             -ing

        -

    Main     tenance

     If I don’t idea   (who this guy was )or what was going on    then maybe that would make sense

       As it stands,             Nope,

        Crash-               es

        What’s             that?

         ....

       What?

       Seriously.             all he did was put another thing into another thing?

        ???

        ...

      Aww, he actually trusts           Bane..

    Thank you         ...

    Door..

    Techno         Service         ...       Droid

     As in a      “tech      -nical  service droid?          (Rt          (IT)     Tech             Guy?

     Or a technical     assistant         (One made of       tech)?

      (Or one specializing in    techno dance moves?)

     Also   is he supposed to get them      in?

  Is    that thing?

 They-   didn’t     really     establish     much-

 Butler      Droid...

Change?

 Todo...   “You are what I say    you are,”

Roomba- kicker

Also, having a roommate is just straight up       detective fiction...

 Like     buddy-cop detective but still     detective

  With noir,      Which       is supposed to be focused on independence        Dis(trust) in society        Which is       admittedly       (toxic)

   Or         seems          to be

     Those two   themes...

          Directly contra-      dictory

[with   Griev-      ous     they       made       it    work,     But     he   wasn’t      this    -         ]

“Uh,”

You    are    not   “The   Doctor,”       -      [that work      ed as    manif-   estation      Of    Greiv-     Ous’s      Toxic    Be-      Hav       -ior-         And      Human      Want        For        Com-        Pan    Ion-        Ship        -       Or         At        Least-      Vul-          Ner-          Aba-              ili            Ty-           -           This          Guy            -          So far he’s a       n(e)igh        invulnerable       Douche          Bag            -            With           No            -thing          Humane-            -           Not           quite      Ahsoka         levels              -       Intend       -ed           To be          an adult            -          Just-            -            Really needing to go     ham -           On the arrogance            And            inhumanity               (He sold his soul for      money- But makes it look      so good- what                    he                   does-                  Gets a sick       kinda  enjoyment from it,”)

             That’s how you   have,  to pull it off

             As it stands;    there’s      no    emotion     with      this    character

Is   the   robot   supposed to be like his   morality pet?

But he’s a   dick to   him   too

Really   he gets nothing   from me

How do even in the    “I-don’t-feel-anything-I’m-so-edgy-and-cool     look at me!’

  Vibes

   There’s nothing     fun...

   Yeah you can throw all the   ...clichés         you want in there

   [But that doesn’t work       if you don’t use them          properly]

     [I see the team up        with a female bounty       -hunter]

    [Predictable         “I work Alone...]           The only thing          those stories               share

            In minute]

But ‘once the effect of’   ‘wow that’s a lot of things.    Has worn off

 The story and character left   heartless

“Non-of- your       Bus-        iness,”

  Doesn’t have the     cockiness to make it      work

  [this isn’t    power-         Ful-]

    Down       right        ..cringe

      As it tries to shove shove two genres.. .    At least...        That don’t          Quite          .work                ...

        Least not the   way they’re trying to make them     work  

.....

..Today

 It’s noir

 The point is      no one’s          in a    good mood.. ...

Aight,

Wasn’t that-

Also,   shouldn’t      he    know-

 Based on how      open-     She     is-      To un-     veiling        her       mask..

   - -

   Robot

So sh-   ouldn’t she ask the robot to leave the room?

(If it’s such a big deal     to her?”)

   He can just run their       face through a     face scan       no?

 Mid-rim

   I thought he didn’t have a way   in?    [That’s a   pretty pathetic   way in.. .]

    [Palpatine’s      screwing           with            him]

       [Giv           -ing            Him             a          hard          time         and       satis    -iating           -          The    ab-    omin-      ations    desire      for    blood🎵,

    Two      birds,         one       stone,

     Also,       Movie,           That’s           the       wrong      amount         of      planning           for        the      wrong      genre          -        We don’t care how the   bank ro    -bbers      Art      -thieves

      Got           There

       This           isn’t           Heist              -           [Money           Heist,              Not              Terr-              Esc]             Got              It           Wrong              [Pre              dict-                   The                  Plot-]               Last                Time.                -

           The                 Focus              isn’t           Character              building-                  - it’s the                   ‘out of depth                     characters reaction to the                    scenario,’

And the wacky hijinks that    ensue

 Using their   talents...    

   Contrast-      ed against the environment        (Mall        cop        example]     

     Which seems to be the best       fit

   Stealing         the-  Holocron-           -         WHAT WAS THE         PURPOSE-

        Well-                At least they ack          -now-ledged                 Planning          really isn’t part of the subset,

                 Good                    (For them?)

                Aight                    Impossible                     ...

             What are the              emotions?

           [like they              literally.             just through in                   the              “the only place...”

             Why..?

             So quick rehash                    (Sorry                      but I can feel the                        drug                          trip coming through,)

                      (Effects-                             Of                            Dealing-                           With                              (bad) excess character;

                         (Deserts                               Metal...)

                       [Refresh]

                       He has a map of the Jedi temple                            Chip                            (Oh so that’s what that-                              (Isn’t he                            still-)  

                    [Changlin’]

                     Aight

                 Bog

                  [Refresh                        End]

                  [Voice                       acting?

                  [Mouth                         sync]

                      ...                        ..                      Aight

                      ..

                    In                         Tru-

                   Maybe                       take                        the                       teen- off guard duty

                     A thought

                    [but-seriously

                       No high                           Alert?

                        Only these   two..?

                        Info-     -Mation

                      Baggage

Seriously money would be a better   option

                        Or       just    street     cred

                     (Adult) humans,                         Aren’t that Liniar...

                    Any way...

                    East   Tower                          ....

  Well that’s better than some   dusty    old     books        -      Holos

  (Seriously at least that’s   present    baggage.)

  Whelp

   Nobody       notices         this       bullshit!

       On a supposedly          secure a       military          base            ....        ...

      Also in the Mid- day break           fecking           daylight!               (With the         hiest it made sense,                 That was a hostage                 political situation                Meant                  to draw in a huge                                              crowd;

               How?

              Cool                   Alright,

               Hey                   isn’t                   she                supposed                     to                      be                    standing                      still?

                 (Guard)

                  Doing patrols?

                   Like                       no                    emotion,                       Face                     Forward,                    Professiona                  -lism

                Not                 Greeter

             (Didn’t they literally call it       guard duty?)

              Like just say you’re sending her to   library service...

              Assis                  -tance

              Again,                  Wrong                     Field...

              They’d                    be                  talking                     to                    the                  library                   helper                    (Official)                      Con-

                 Bother

Not   how a   child   reacts Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-         2/3  

   Cite;      Asoka       shows    intentional       over involvement      instincts        more       befitting          of          an          adult            ....

     Good

     Fully    understand        able      reaction          (Kinda)

    (Don’t          yell         at       children)

      Don’t      over involve       yourself             in          the          future            ....

    (But if you’re an        over-         involv         ed         and           (un-)childlike       abomination              (Getting          shoved             for              this                is               likely                 going                  to               happen)

              Dude was actually nicer than       an adult

             Enabler

             (Rule                    Of                    Excess                   Society;                    While                   excess                  verbalization                         is                      ex-                  pected,                   Getting                   in                     someone’s                   way                    (non-sport                        Ing-)                         (Or con     -ferr       ed-)            U-pon

                       Is                          not,                            Attemp                          ting                            to                          move                           them                             away                               the                           customary                                five                              times                                is                            expected)

                            Aight,

So the librarian was right there as     she     harassed        her     client)

    (Not saying;           But           you should get involved        in tox that doesn’t involve you)

      Just don’t         think that would excuse           Her         from ire

      “I can’t do anything right,”

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-       3/4

 Cite;      Child         -ren          Aren’t aware of      self        Ahsoka would repeat a line      blank       -ly

   “Likely      ‘sorry’

   Then back   away

  [Or      the      or     dered    rea       ction-)

    Aight

   Whelp

   Yes

   Just at the librarian be the      pro tag

(She’s      Tox        But..    .        Less         Tox..    ...

   But           Still..

  [Make         [Better]   Pro-ta  g        Than      Ahsoka           ]     

   In..   ...

  That’s a        library   computer..

   You      need        a      pass-        word.       -    The     robot-

   How?

  -

  What?

  Weak     Point?

  You know for     Boomer bait         They      mis-construe        How the library        works a lot

     [I know           -Hav-             Ing            Dealt-]

       Talk-ing            in the            library,

         Is pretty           off

         Like there’s        a reason people are encouraged            to go into the hallway             to take phone calls

          Loud

         These are the guys that value    meditation

          Dude.     Would be shushed       By   Several     irate      Jedi          ...  

    Told to     take it      outside          ...      ...

   I-

[I feel bad   For the Roomba]

[like dude, gaslights him      and then takes       his memory]

Like, Adults      Out     of     it.   ...

  But      ...Droids

   [we don’t know much about the       sentient ones     Or how much   senti ence]

    But          this         whole       scene...

    Makes me feel     dirty

    Like;       it’s played     for humor

    When;       it should be played            to how much         a bastard           this guy               is

      Screw-   ing         with       anything-  

       Like            That              ...  

      Toxic            ...    

      Sick..

  How?

     Aight..

    What.         .

    Re-          Cyc

    Why?         ... ..

Kenobi

Jump-ing coincidence

     [i’m con   -clusion]

       Damn,        the narc

         [No one   tell him   anything]

   [Might       fake         a       heart       attack]

    Comm.

     [How half assed is         Yoda’s peripheral?]

     Venti -lation

  -That’s        Smart-

   Almost       -Too             -Smart-

        👍  

  -Tower

    High         Alert

   Place            the       Temple        -

    Wasn’t, already?

    Left it undone

   Way to go     smart     guy           -      Cool        -        But      kinda    pointless..

 Aight-       Never mind

  I-  Might’ve       Been      Wrong-

 Al right

[Seriously,   no one hears this?]

 [In most heist movies      they at least had the    intelli-     gence-

    [No hate       -villains can be stupid]

  Do you some small well           re-lativel unknown library

   [or at least not the one     at the place they were robbing]

   Because everyone would      recognize that the actions occurring match up to what he’s describing         And the description        Of their       building.]

   Aight

   Neat-

   Past

  Whelp-

  Aight-

  Shred-          (Un-acc         Oun         T-able)

     K-Pop

     Well        that’s            a       name...

    Whelp..

Cool.. ..

Bane    ...

Whole..     temple

   And I heard you very          obviously        plotting...  

   So...  you’re getting kicked

Also he could be possibly looking up     intruders plans.. ...

Like pretty one dimensional     opinion    of on ‘High Alert’, lady

  [Especially       for a         librarian.]

Thank    you

 Whelp...

  There went my expectations

   Also,     Every Jedi leaving the library didn’t notice that that     shit?

   Like,  they didn’t have guard’s ready to apprehend him 

   ...On the           Other              Side?

         Okay...

         You just           moved her...

         Do you know this could’ve been an episode             with a lot of emotional depth              Showing how terrifying adults that abuse children can be             adults that            swear to have their interest in heart               And how overinvolvement               Is harmful              regardless of who it’s coming from                (Neglect- of child-                   And - accoun                       tability)                   Working off the                “blank line”,                 ‘I can’t do             anything right,’                    And the Jedi                -Council’s treatment of                   her                “Foreshadow                   -Ing,”                    (I use              that word              loosely)   

            Their            down-                fall

             Instead                     we                got                  this-

           And              he just abandons            the computer-

     Aight,             Just contin          -ued on - with          -out his         instruction

       Despite          see-ing           how bad           that          went.       Al-right

     Okay-

    Aight

    Really?

   Without    instructions?

   .

   In

    Calls       friend

     You were               fine       without him       the last few        seconds              .....

      “Give-”

   Not gonna      question that?

      “Voice-”

       She’s            a changling..

            “Now,”

          Hidden

          You’re              in a vent?

           Oh, Skywalker has           immediate            intuition               ...

           And a breech           didn’t somehow sound off alarms

          Yeah. .             Good..thing you didn’t close up the thing              ..

        Whelp..

        How?

       Okay. .

      Shame..           they didn’t get a hold of a force sensitive         kid             (I- don’t want it to       happen)

       Just-

      .. .

   .. Here

     Hurry          I can         Hear..       .        Bull-        Shit         .

   You have rocket boots        they have the force

    You shouldn’t         hear shit-

   Sur-prisingly,         No Ahsoka

     Good

    The lower       the counter stays..   

       The        better          for       humanity

 [and my      brain]

   [Vent]

   Seriously,       you didn’t tell your       partner?        About the Jedi on       High Alert?

   Ser-          Force-

   How deep         is that        thing?

   [Aight,          Pat-

    You’re telling me they still haven’t figured out the        Holocron?

     We only           saw-

     Shouldn’t one of you go one way and the        other go the other?

    To cover     more ground?

    They’re-        Really       putting       a lot      of faith-

In the   Comms

  Also shouldn’t there be more   Jedi crawling over the place?

   Seriously,         it’s just these two?

     [We know Plo       isn’t doing anything important.]

    [We saw       him near the opening?]

    And        Kid Fisto..

     Heck...          Is   everybody else doing?

    A-ight

   “Closer,”

    Shouldn’t it be      ..further

     Archive..     [Library]         Comms?

     Got it-

     Whelp..

      Okay..

      Not, putting up that       door,

      What are you         smiling about?

      There’s plenty of lasers

     And      you don’t even know        where the thing       you’re looking for               is

           (Inside the compartment)

      ....

   Aight

   Might- not have been a   smile-

    Look for       the open         vent   

    (Dude clum-           Un-          Acc             ountable)

       With             Vents

        Also look at all these        assholes standing around          doing nothing

  Also, no one’s going to check up on the child 

  Like, Ahsoka surely got that message      right?

   Temple-

   Deep in the         temple-

   Use-less

      ...

    ‘Cause you’re idiots       who don’t check for open vents           Or cover      more ground?

   Or...  

    [Get, anyone to help you, in this big ass vent,”

   It’s not very hard to see       why.. .

   Ass         -itance

  Ahsoka’s,         not gonna get blamed for this      is she?

   Won-

   Yeah, the narcs      pretty     useless

    Also, why can’t you have the dude just shut off those lasers like he did the rest?

  Done

    Oh, they address it   

     Good,

     Yep,

     How?

     But...

   Okay...   

...

    Okay   

   ....  

    What’re you         still       doing          ...

   Okay,

  What’re        you      doing?

   [Is the Holocron seriously right       there?]

     That’s. lucky

      Weirder               and             Wei-rder

         Hey isn’t your personality        over-written?

           By the               chip?

            Aight

          S-eriously?

         Still              Here?

         On- alert-?

Coin-     cidence?        !

  Augh

    Is that’s seriously the alert?

     Several          minutes-

       No wonder         those guys           were so late...

          ...

       Sense           De-          Cep          Tion

     Po-          S-ing            As            A           Jedi.

       Okay           now         Yoda’s            just         reading             the          death               report

     Jo-casta

     What?

       But           that’s         actually             a           good            idea                -              If shits about to go down you might as well find the person who might hold them accountable instead of letting you get the shit beat out

       Run-

       Serious-ly           shouldn’t she just shout out her name?

       [Like I know                       - High Alert-                     But Ahsoka isn’t going to be much use against a                    Adult...                Either way                                        Might as well   find her [and     scare off the intruder-]

  Also how come     “innocence”        doesn’t get           the same notification

       Did they forget his              wristwatch?

       [Like-            seems important-]

       Who are you?

           Dang                 It?

            You               were             supposed                  to                report                 back!

               Also no one           heard any of this before

           Also; are you going to tell me that AHSOKA, the child   soldier,      Is going to beat this guy       When      the fully trained elderly Jedi got her ass kicked?

   Nah.. .

   “You,”

    Dead

Tally   Of      How   Many      Times      Ahsoka-       Is      Adult         -ify        Ied-           4/5

   3x

-Un-orthodox show of initiative              1x

-Counter          1x

- Surviving this            1x

(4x) 

  Getting her on the           run!

        1x

Tot; 7/8

-Surviv-ing;

   - 1x         - 1x

    -1x

    -1x         -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

    -1x

   -2x         (I’m tired of counting them        one by one-)

     -2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

     - 2x

    - 

    Er

    Okay

     Whelp

    Aight

    -Right

    Shape

    -Skill

     -Ew

     Whelp

      Okay-

      Where did         your get your skills from?

     Abomination?

     Aw-  

     Todo-

   -Yet

    What-ever

    Butler

    Tech

   Neither         of       which       have     anything        to do         with       ironing        doors        open           ....   

      ....       There       he goes

     Sy-mpathesize-  more with him            than this douche bag even if his          turn does make a little sense

     Aight.

     Whelp

      Finally found that          vent.. .

       Right

       No, he wasn’t

      “Comms,”

        Not            Holo-          Cron

      .....

     Completely un-realistically        

Tally   Of     How   Many     Times     Ahsoka-      Is     Adult        -ify       Ied-        28/29        And         1/2

    (1/2 because referring to the action what respectively doesn’t count as a whole- sin-          It does deserve note that you decided to repeat your bad writing-)

         Jedi

   She       Says-

  (Un       Be        Li       Ev        Able)

 Holo      -cron

 Jedi       To      Open      It     ..  

Okay,   

..   

Up-     To-

 Again, with the   communication     center-!

  Dude, just wanted a   Holo-cron

   (Seriously        that was very tortured      logic,       Think the writers;     just wrote this scene        Then realize but wait       “why are they in the Holocron/             Comm           Cent,?”

     And that’s how        Anakin/Obi-Wan           Obsession with the com      center began...

    [sorry but there was no reason for them to be in the        Com center!

      That I’ve heard!]

   In

   Aight,      What?     What       -ever

   ...  ..

  Wrong-

    Yes

    Com-          Center-

    Ser-iously     even he doesn’t know what’s up

   You   heard      me

  And        my     stupid      plan

    To send you to the     Coms center to justify Obi-wan’s     obsession-

    Craw-          ling

     And we have no reason      to-o

   Why?

    Now!

   Yelling- doesn’t mistake the clear lack of   reason

   What-     ever-

    Right

    That’s one way      to do it

    Really

  Also, how does   -that not-

That was less than   one minute

Also,   but no one else will hear that but   these two      . .

 And they’ll   still progress to the   comm center        ...

“It came from the com center,!”

   How!?

You, guys,

  Comms,       Archives,

   Aight,       Nice

  Com-munication        center-

    Ha-           ha-          ha-    (I’m sorry   but that has come back around      to kinda funny,”

 [something Happens across the     galaxy]

Obi-won; It was the com’s center

—-

Aight,    right, 

...

O-kay

...

How??

 Where?

 Okay      ...

Cloak       Ing?

 What?

[you can’t defy the   rules of logic that much       (Physics)       You need to explain where he went   otherwise it’s a loony tune      Of    sus-    pen    sion-

Okay?

What??

I thought-       the thing-  

....

O-kay

right

Take it,

Which       ,One

 That-

 Right

What-      Ever-

  Aight-

He knews

 What-      Ever

  Don’t call   your eggs

   Move

  Restraint

  Whelp

 Use-less

    Just     There

     Whelp

     Nope-

      Okay-

       He           Try

      [Hey         guys,]

       Off               That’s           some         assumed          authority              over         familiarity..

        Aight..

      Okay,

      They’re really            letting             him             get            away             with              the             story

         Tries-

       What?!

       -When-

      Bomb-  

        Both-

[Also   Mace   Windu        is     still      the       only       semi-efficient      Jedi...

   Asshole !

    (Can’t          make the text bigger enough to display my           outrage!)

   [they      played that off         as humor!]

     That was a scream of death!

     Of         Murder!

   [if that was a sentient-       And my God     it seemed damn close!     Dude was just murdered

   The surprise-        “ I didn’t        see it coming, h        onestly not his fault kind!”

      One that would call for      immediate robotic vengeance!

    * im-mediate    ac-countability

      If sentient,

   What the Hell?!

     That-

     Horror        -        fy-            Ing-

      Oof

“Was        it     sentient?      Crud, I      might       lose        my       least       toxic    credentials

  (           )

   Whelp

    How?

     No        Way-

   A-ight

   Shit

  -shit

- she did     nothing  

   I-

  Call      Sec-

  Whose       that?

    Whelp

     Okay..

     That          Who

    Dys-   functional          family          road         trip             -           War

       No          shit

 Oh wait at           the comment table was by all the other Jedi

      ��So...

       the whole time Obi-wan was just complaining        he didn’t want to do the job

     Skywalker          agreeing with him...

      And...  wanting to ditch their post

 In chara,

   Just, a little bit funny      when you think about it

  Right,

 You bought            them      all the way         here?

      ...

Also look isn’t the unchild-like abomination adorable when she’s talking about punishing people more severely

Holo-cron

The heck     is a       holocron...

Wait-

 What-

   Why-

   How-

   ??

 Why is this     being allowed to      happen?   -

    ...

  Snitch

[like seriously how is it helping her   case, whatsoever?

Plea     Bar-gin

Aight,

Okay

That was just a completely random target   on his list...

- -

The one accountable adult

Keeper       Kydra      Crystal-

- Holocrons

   Data

     -

   You get out of here         youngling

     Force         Sensitive       Child ?

     Are we really going to get into the        powers        eugenics?             (Or         power        genetic       superiority)

       Also would it be a kin to basically every child or just any child destined for leader ship

   (Like gen       leader ship?)

    Cause..

Also, yeah   good idea keeping that around

And you named...

...

Young’lings

 Future

Oy!     You put that back where,   it came from so help me

Future  

vision

is cheating

In reality,   if you did have that power,    you should keep     your mouth        shut

And it completely negates   the point of a choice based universe

   (Takes all the       risk out of it)

    Making the story     completely useless

    (For the sake of tension       I’m going to ignore        that..)

    Going on the       assumption...

     That’s the Jedi           are just a bunch of          narcs

       Who           like        claiming they know the future

       When in reality only the future              knows the future...

           Worn.                 Them

              Oh so it’s just School    roll call...

    Contact

   You must

Ya no dude’s already a    headstart...

Ahsoka

 Dude,  he just override   the punishment   

  Does he   have the authority to do that?

   [I     don’t     think        so]

 Cad bane

   He      probably isn’t

   And you already know him From the previous episode

    Good for         Obi-won

      Aight

     Mace Windu         don’t give a fuck

      Kid Fisto              disappeared

      And. .       Luminara(?)

       Went to go get a snack....             ?

        I don’t             know

        Yoda

        Got          Overruled

       Aight,           Okay

  .....

     This episode...

         Makes me feel disgusting              Watching                The middle                 At least

           It’s very clearly                 boomer bait...

           The beginning...

          Focus-ing on the           importance of taking orders           (With no                       sarcasm                                   to my understanding,)

       Progressing,               Into, 

             Dah, de, dah,                          Generation                        ____                    doesn’t               understand                  books!

                  *We might  if they got out of our way, let us do our thing, dis-covered and pract-iced excess, on our volition

                   *if we wanted   to

Honestly   convinced.  I should’ve      given       them          a        strike       right       there 

Out     of  

Malicious

 Won’t   (Out of restraint)

But     a   thought   none-       the-  

 less

Being        a     (toxic)      Boomers     Fantasy        in   which    they,      the     all   powerful      all   knowing       adults     must       help       poor     Ig-      nor        -ant       (Child)-

(I’m sorry   this really       disgusts me)

  -with enough initiative            To praise their Brilliance

         (It’s re-ally   di-sgusting)

           This isn’t            seen as an overreach                   Or con-                Des-cion                      Of                       A                     Gen

And gives no   in-dication it recognizes how creepy what it’s doing is

Apart from the lighting in the council room

  *Which       I’m now convinced is permanently broken

    And continues with the assum-ption of a   life-time                       Over the future

     Breaking; the story pretty thoroughly

     And announcing the       return to      mediocrity...

     (Border       -ing on attempt at          lower        standards)

 (Also they playoff the death of a semi-sentient species      For            Humor?

       He          died        screaming!

[beedalee]

Adoptables - Halloween 2019 on DeviantART!

🎃 Adopts Terms of Service 🎃 What Are Adoptables? 🎃

🎃  RULES/INFO:

- Terminology: OPEN = available | #/# = number of designs left on sheet | HOLD = 24/48 hour hold is active | PENDING = invoice sent | SOLD = adopted - First come, first serve! I will hold for 24 hours- My Paypal Invoices will expire after 24 hours after they are sent! - I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason! Please be polite when inquiring about buying a design. - You may buy the design as a gift for someone else, but you must tell me who the giftee is! Contact me via note if it's a surprise! - After payment is received, you will get the FULL SIZE, un-watermarked, transparent version of the design you purchased! Please do not upload the full size anywhere to prevent theft, and do not remove my signature from the design for any reason! Please read my ToS and Adoptables journal linked above for more information. - Lace border credit: here!

🎃  PAYMENT:

- I accept paypal, debit/credit (no paypal account required), or DA points equal to the cash value! - If you pay by e-check/directly via bank account, I will send the full res after the payment clears! Please leave sufficient funds in your bank for it to clear properly like a one would with a regular check. Read my ToS for more info! - You receive the full size un-watermarked transparent version of the design after payment has been received! Thank you!!

Please click the read-more for information, order form, and availability status; OR go to the deviantart link above! If you want to buy one via tumblr, please private message me ONLY, do NOT use asks or they may get lost!  💓  If you have a question please don't hesitate to ask!!! I'll do my best to help you out!

🦇 Temporary Limit: 1 DESIGN PER PERSON! (This includes via gifting) Limitation expires November 4th at 3:00pm MST 🦇

Gifting limit is 1 gift per buyer, and only if the giftee hasn't already purchased one on this sheet themselves! Example: Buyer 1 may purchase 'adopt A' for themselves and purchase 'adopt C' as a gift for Person 2- ONLY IF Person 2 has not bought one themselves. Giftees cannot buy a 2nd one during this limitation if they have been gifted one already! This post will be updated and watchers notified when this limit is over, thank you for understanding! 💓

------

🦇🎃   PRICE AS MARKED! 1/6 OPEN! 🎃🦇

Each comes with little character blurbs, but you don't have to keep them! Feel free to change their powers/theme color/gender id/personality to your liking. Also, feel free to shift their color theme as well! These are just fun prompts for me.

🦇 ROW 1: 45.00 USD PER SET

Cute Lil Devil: O P E N !

-  A sickeningly sweet little girl who knows just how to play up her charms to get what she wants. she's spoiled and smart, a clever little monster not to be trifled with! Although she could recruit just about any human soul to do her bidding with a poke of her tail, she has high standards... they must be pretty and cute like her!

Autumn Shadow: S O L D ! 🎃

-  A meek young girl suffering from low self esteem- she's lonely and would consider herself a coward, often obedient to mean girls her age and hiding from conflict even if it meant putting someone else in harms way. but the night after a festival turns frightening when a strange supernatural creature attacks civilians, sending her fleeing into the dark woods with an injury. unexpectedly, she's approached by a mysterious person who seems to understand what's happening- and they have a proposal for her. will she accept the power to protect others, and at what cost?

Will-O-Wisp:  S O L D!

-  Librarian by day, this dreamy lady is friendly and sweet, if not a little mysterious- here one moment and gone the next. By night, she is an ethereal banshee and gatekeeper to another dimension- of mystical spirits and terrifying monsters. Though she may be gentle and soft-spoken, there is a reason she alone was tasked to guard this doorway-- and she will show no mercy to those that aren't granted permission to enter it!

🦇 ROW 2: 48.00 USD PER SET

Dark Arts: S O L D !

- This lazy kid spends most of his days sleeping through class, loafing around after school, playing video games and staying up too late. Who would suspect such an underachiever would have expertise in all that is paranormal, and be such good friends with sometimes unsavory mischievous spirits? well, we all have our hobbies...

Half Wolf:  S O L D !

- A young street urchin that's there one moment and gone the next, stealing what they can to survive. This abandoned halfling werewolf was raised by real wolves, who they are fiercely protective of. They're searching for other werewolf companions in a world where they're ruthlessly hunted. Being isolated from other people for so long, they barely know how to speak human tongue.

Kiss of Death: S O L D !

- A gentle but mysterious woman, she enjoys the company of birds and always seems to know the future before it happens. well versed in tarot and astrology. as the goddess of death, she is kind and merciful to those that deserve it, and will gracefully guide those to the afterlife with a kind smile. for the dark-hearted souls that try to defy the rules of death, however...

----------

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You MUST include the order form in your comment or note, or you may miss out on the adoptable! Please use it. If you're on mobile, you may just type it out instead of copying it if it's easier. Here's a breakdown of each entry:

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🎃 ORDER FORM:

do you agree to my ToS?: payment method: email: design name: is it a gift:

[grayson-dolans-dangly-earring]

Bible Study (E.D.)

THIS IS SO SMUTTY PLEASE BE AWARE OF THAT ALSO IM SORRY IF ITS NOT THAT GOOD OR THERE ARE SOME ERRORS IM NOT WELL VERSED IN CHURCH RELATED THINGS SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME ILY ❤️

@e-g-d-8 @hexagonaldolans @dolanswhore @deluxedolans @hmmmethan

ETHAN’S POV

My parents last ditch effort at making me a normal respectable teen was bible study. It’s a well known fact that my parents were bible thumpers and it irritated them to no end that my life goal was to be the exact opposite. My twin brother Grayson and I were both against our parents strict rules but Grayson obeyed most of them just to shut them up. I however, relished in making people squirm and pissing off my parents was my favorite hobby. I only agreed to bible study because it was either that or get a job, and an after school shift at the diner would really cramp my style.

I flicked my cigarette into the parking lot and crushed it with my boot before making my way to the door of the church. Once inside the building I followed the posted signs that directed me to the bible study room in the basement. Folding chairs were arranged in a circle and a few other teens were already there when I walked through the door. Heads turned and voices quieted as they all noticed me. I had quite the reputation at school so the people here already knew who I was and what I’d done and they seemed afraid of me. Good. That’s the way I liked it.

I found a seat and the rest of the group did the same. It was still quiet and I was not enjoying being gawked at, so when the door swung open and everyone’s attention shifted I was grateful. Until I saw her. The girl who entered the room was none other than Y/n Y/l/n, the local pastor’s daughter. I’d seen her around school before but only in small glimpses as she was usually hurrying away from wherever I was. Now, I could see her fully and up close. She made her way to a long table against the back wall of the room to set up some pamphlets.

She had a skirt on that was just a touch too short to be as modest as I’m sure her father would have preferred, her blouse was tight and I could see the buttons straining just a bit and she had a cardigan over top to keep the attention off her amazing tits. She could do whatever she wanted to hide them but I could tell what was underneath. She had wedge heels on that made her legs look amazing and I made a mental note that she was clearly not a girl who enjoyed wearing stockings. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun on the top of her head and strands poked out all over the place, framing her face. Her glasses were thick rimmed and sliding down the bridge of her nose and she had to push them up with a delicate finger. A gold cross necklace hung around her neck and she fiddled with it often. Her lips were soft and pillowy and pink, and when she sucked the lower one into her mouth while trying to concentrate on her pamphlet set up, I almost came in my jeans. Fuck, my pants were so tight and all I wanted was to throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of here. I swore to myself that I’d go to this meeting and then never return but if she was gonna be here, I might have to stick around.

READER’S POV

Ethan Dolan was sitting in my class. He was sitting in my fucking bible study class. Why on earth do strange things always happen to ME?! How was I supposed to concentrate? Ethan Dolan was sex on legs and I don’t know if you know this but, as the pastor’s daughter I’m expected to steer clear of boys like that. But god he makes it so hard to do that. I continued setting up the back table and took a deep breath before turning to face the group.

Ethan had a smirk plastered to his gorgeous face like he had x-ray vision or something and could see through my clothes. My eyes scanned the group for an open chair but there wasn’t one as no one had prepared for another person to join us. “You can sit right here if you’re looking for a seat babydoll.” Ethan’s gruff voice rumbled from across the circle. I turned my gaze on him and watched as he ran his big hands up and down his thighs, grinning like the cheshire cat. “N-no thank you Ethan! But that does bring me to this weeks t-topic! Okay!” I managed to stammer while setting up a chair for myself. “This week’s topic is abstinence, chastity, and virginity. Now it’s okay if you’ve already lost your virginity. Yes, it’s a sin but if you ask for God’s forgiveness and vow to never do it again until you’re married, you will be pure again.” I recited from my father’s usual speech from mass. “Don’t really think I can un-ring that bell if you know what I mean.” Ethan’s voice sounded from across the circle. My breath caught in my chest and I swallowed down my nervousness. “Ethan, you can still be pure if that’s something that interests you.” I said. I decided to be a little daring and ask him a question. “Why don’t you tell us what's stopping you from having your virginity reclaimed by God?” I crossed my legs and waited for his response.

ETHANS POV

That little vixen. She really was egging me on! I was shocked she had the nerve to ask me what she did. But I wasn’t about to lose this little game we started playing, trying to push each other over the edge. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Sex has always felt, I don't know, good, you know? I mean, really, really good. So what's the big deal, right? I mean what’s not to love about sex? There's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling...grinding. Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds and builds until it all just...explodes.” I said, clearing my throat. The girls in the group looked starstruck and the boys looked jealous. I noticed Y/n’s breathing had sped up and she was crushing the pamphlet in her hand. She quickly uncrossed and crossed her legs and I could tell I had gotten to her because when she uncrossed her legs, I could see up her skirt and a wet patch was just barely visible on her baby pink panties. I was fucking rock hard in my jeans and I wanted her more than anything. Everyone else in the room faded away when I locked eyes with her. God I’d give anything to fuck her right in this room in front of everyone.

READERS POV

Ethan’s little speech had quite the effect on me. I was extremely warm and dizzy. If sex was really as good as the way he described it, how could it be a sin?! Whatever. It wasn’t my job to question the Lord and his rules, so I brushed him off as well as I could and continued with the class.

After about an hour I dismissed the group and everyone made their way out of the basement, Ethan included. When my group ended it was usually around 7 pm and I was the only one left in the building so locking up was my job. I felt like I should say a prayer and confess my sinful thoughts before leaving so I made my way upstairs to the chapel. The lights were dim so I didn’t see the Ethan sitting in the back pew and I went to kneel in front of the altar. “Dear God, please forgive me for my impure thoughts and please protect me from the temptation that is Ethan Dolan. Amen.” I whispered. “Oh so I’m a temptation now?” a deep voice rumbled from behind me. I attempted to turn around quickly but just ended up further embarrassing myself by falling on my ass. My face was burning with guilt and I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him, and I feared that if I did look at him, I’d do whatever he asked.

ETHANS POV

I couldn’t help but grin as she stared down at my boots. I knew she wanted me now and she knew that she’d made a mistake letting her true desires slip. I reached out a hand and brushed her cheek and lifted her face. “Look at me Y/n. Come on baby. Look at me. Look at Daddy.” I said, catching her attention. Her eyes met mine and I swear to God my knees buckled. I ran my thumb over her lower lip and tugged on it just a little. She locked eyes with me as she sucked my thumb into her mouth. She looked so innocent and the thought of being the one to fuck her brains out was so so exciting. Was it wrong to tempt her and reel her in this way? Maybe. Did I care? No.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so beautiful. But you’d look so much better with my dick in your mouth don’t ya think?”

READERS POV

I must have died and gone to heaven. That could be the only explanation for this situation. Ethan Dolan wanted me and all reasonable thought had floated out of my brain. He wanted me to suck him off and that’s exactly what I was going to do.

My hands scrambled to pull his belt free and unbutton his jeans and he reached down to grab my wrists. “Baby slow down. We’ve got all night. I promise.” Ethan chuckled above me. “I-i I’ve n-never done this before.” I whispered, looking at him. His big hand cradled my chin before he spoke, “Oh baby, I know. But I’m gonna teach you.” He unbuckled his belt and pulled it free from the loops of his jeans. He then unbuttoned them, pushing them to pool around his ankles. He then grabbed my hand, pressing it to the front of him. I could feel his member pulsing beneath his black calvin klein boxers and it excited me. I gently pulled them down to join his jeans and his length sprang up, finally free from its confines. All I could do was stare. It was so big and intimidating but my mouth watered with anticipation.

“Open up beautiful.” Ethan gently urged and I did as I was told. He fed his cock into my mouth inch by inch and I moaned at the taste.

ETHANS POV

She was taking my cock like a champ and if I wasn’t so caught up in the pleasure, I would have been shocked. She started sucking on her own and bobbing her head back and forth, slowly but surely. “God damn sweetheart. Yeah just like that. You’re doing so good for me baby. So so good. Ugh fuck yes.” I moaned, my hand coming up to cup the back of her head. I managed to pry my eyes open to look down at her and the sight was beautiful. “Come on baby. Remember what I said? Look at Daddy.” I groaned. Y/n looked up at my through her this lashes and I could see tears welling up in her eyes. She looked so fucking pretty. “Okay take me in as far as you can...yup just like that baby, just like that…now try to swallow.” I instructed her. She did what I said and a litany of curses spilled from my lips as her throat constricted around me. I began sliding in and out of her mouth at a quick pace and she did her best to accommodate my speed. “Yes! Fuck yes! Good girl...oh god…” I cried. I was a panting mess and I couldn’t bring myself to give a shit. I withdrew myself from her mouth and she sucked in a large lungful of air, throatfuck spit gathered at the corners of her mouth. God she was so fucking sexy. “Get up baby. Come on.” I demanded. Once she stood, I pulled her body flush with mine, kissing her full on the mouth. My hand reached down slowly to lift her skirt and I ran a finger over her soaked panties. She hissed at the contact and I grinned against her lips.

READERS POV

He was touching me in my most intimate place and I was shocked that the sparks flying between us didn’t catch the whole church on fire. Oh. My. God. We’re in a church! My father’s church! What is wrong with me?! Ethan’s lips trailed down my neck, making me shiver. “Sweetheart I wanna fuck you over one of these church pews. Is that okay? Huh? Do you want that? Tell Daddy what you want.” His honey sweet voice whispered in my ear. I couldn’t lie, I did want him to fuck me. I didn’t even care that we were in a church anymore. I wanted him and he wanted me and I wasn’t about to stop this. I nodded before whispering back “Daddy, I want whatever you want.” He groaned and his hands that were resting on my hips, gripped my flesh tight before he grabbed his discarded belt and led me to a pew. Ethan spun me around so my back was facing him and he ran a hand down my spine signaling me to lean forward. He pulled the zipper down on the back of my skirt until it fell away. I heard the click of him opening his pocket knife and I shivered as the cold blade came in contact with my skin. In a swift motion he cut away my panties and I looked over my shoulder in shock. He grinned at me, shoving my torn panties in his jacket pocket. “A momento baby. They’re mine now.” He smirked and delivered a smack to my right ass cheek. I moaned and let my head fall forward. “Are you ready for me sweetheart?” He asked, just to be sure I wanted this. I bit my lip and shook my head yes. He slapped his dick against my clit a few times making me gasp and clench around nothing. “Please…” I moaned. “Well since ya asked so pretty…” He murmured before lining himself up and sliding in to the hilt.

I couldn’t help it, I just screamed. It felt so damn good having him inside me and the pent up need from the teasing all night completely masked the pain that should have occurred. Ethan stilled inside me, making what seemed like a choking sound. “I just...I uh...I’ve-fuck…I’ve never been with a girl this tight before. Jesus Christ. I uh, I just need a second.” He said through clenched teeth. I smirked to myself and wiggled my ass, giggling a bit after hearing him hiss.

ETHANS POV

Her pussy was like a fucking vice around me. I didn’t want to embarrass myself by cumming so soon so I had to take a second to collect myself. She was so warm and wet inside. She let it slip that she was on birth control during sharing time in group so I didn’t use a condom. This was the first time I’d ever been inside someone raw and it was amazing. I could feel everything, every ridge, every pulse.

After a few moments I began to pull out and Y/n whined. beneath me. I pulled out and pushed back in over and over at a slow but steady pace, all the while she moaned and whimpered below me. “Faster…” She cried. Her wish was my command so I planted my hands on her hips and began to slam in and out of her slick channel. My hips slapped against her ass and the sound echoed through the church like some kind of sick depraved hymn. “Oh my god! Yes Ethan yes! Please don’t stop!” Y/n moaned, slumped forward over the pew. Her hands gripped the bench seat and her knuckles turned white from how tight she was holding on. I had been fucking her so hard, her hair had fallen out of her bun and was now waving around her face. My left hand gathered her hair into a makeshift ponytail and yanked her head back while my right hand slithered between her legs to rub her clit. She tightened around me and I gasped at the feeling.

READERS POV

Between the stinging of my scalp where Ethan was yanking my hair, and the immense pleasure of him rubbing my clit while thrusting into me, had me in a fog of bliss. He used my hair to pull me backwards so his chest was against my back and his teeth sank into my shoulder. I cried out and I could feel the coil of heat in my belly tightening. “You’re doing so well sweetheart. You’re so perfect for me. Ughhhh yes. I’m close. Cum for me baby. Cum for Daddy.” He growled in my ear. After hearing his words I exploded around him, juices flowing down my thighs and all over him. My legs felt so weak but I was determined to stay upright until he came. “Oh fuck! You’re squeezing me so tight! I’m gonna cum! Can I come inside you baby? Please?” Ethan begged. He sounded so sweet I just couldn’t say no. I nodded yes and moments later I felt the hot splash of his seed inside me. It felt so good to share something like this with someone. The warmth spread all over my body and as he jerked inside of my with the aftershocks, he hit my g-spot, triggering another orgasm for me. Tears spilled down my face at the overwhelming pleasure and I felt him wipe them away. Ethan pulled out of me slowly and laid down on the seat of the pew, pulling me on top of him. I laid there in comfortable silence as he stroked my hair. “You did so good for me baby. I’m so proud of you. You feelin okay?” He asked. “Yes I’m good. I’m more than good. That was…amazing.” I sighed. “I think we should keep doing this Y/n. I’ve never been with someone that makes me feel the way you do. The chemistry between us is insane don’t you think?” He asked in a serious tone. “It is. I’ve never been so open and willing to bear myself to anyone else. I’d love to keep seeing you Ethan.” I murmured into his chest. “Come on baby. Let’s get outta here.” Ethan said sitting up. “Wait! I have to go erase the tape in the security office before anyone sees us fucking in the chapel! Oh my god I forgot about the cameras!” I shrieked. Ethan’s laugh reverberated through the room before he spoke, saying “Don’t erase it. I’ll take it with me. I’m gonna be replaying this night in my head over and over again for a while anyway. I’d like to have video evidence that this isn’t a dream.”

THE END

[ff-imagines]

NSFW Alphabet: whiskey

Y’all really seemed to like my last whiskey headcanons and I have a lot of love for this stinky man. Here we go!

Listen while reading:

A- Aftercare (what are they like after?)

He’s not very versed to considering what other people want or need, so being put in a situation where that’s exactly what he needs to be in tune with? He’s gonna struggle for a while. You’ll need to tell him what you need for him to really do anything. You’ll always get cuddles though, he won’t outright leave you alone that night.

“What? You need some water? I.... well, alright. Stay here, get under the covers. I won’t be long.”

B- Body part (favorite body part of yours and their own)

His favorite body part of his own is his hands. He’s a very touch oriented person, likes to feel you, how you shiver or how you lean into him. He loves exploring you via touch.

“Do you like the way I touch you? How about... here...? Hmm.... that got a pleasant reaction....”

His favorite part of your body would most likely be your neck. He really likes to mark your neck, harshly. He lives for the way you squeak and squirm every time his teeth bite down on your skin. I predict turtlenecks and scarves in your future.

C- Cum (where do they like to cum & how much do they cum?)

If you let him, cumming inside of you is his dream. It feels so much more intimate in his mind, the little whines you give out as you feel the warmth filling you... he’s completely lost in it.

“I... I can’t..... hold on..... I.... God’s.... you take me so well.... here... have me... have every last drop of my love...”

If you prefer not to have him cum inside, he’d love to cum over your thighs. He’s a total leg guy, so having his cum drop from your thighs? He’s done for.

D- Dirty Secret (whats a dirty secret of theirs?)

He secretly kinda wants you to top him. He’d never want to give up his dominance, but if you were to offer... or rather... demand it.... he wouldn’t say no....

E- Experience (how much experience do they have?)

Honestly? Extremely little. He’s had small encounters here and there, but they always felt.... off. Wrong. They happened because he was curious on what it would be like, and it didn’t do much for him. He’s definitely got some learning to do.

“I’ve been waiting for the right person to share myself with.... I’ve been waiting for you.”

F- Favorite Position (self explainitory lmao)

He’s not picky, but he needs to see your face. Doggy isn’t out of the question, but there needs to be a mirror nearby where he can see your face. He prefers positions that give him control.

“Here, here... no no... don’t hide your face from me, I want to see you come undone...”

G- Goofy (how goofy are they during?)

Nope. Not at all. He’s not really goofy in general, and when he is his humor is.... very dark.

“A joke? Dearest, is this really the time?”

H- Hair (how groomed are they?)

Trimmed and proper. Hates it any other way, he feels less clean. He won’t force you to do anything, but he’ll express his wish that you do the same.

I- Intimacy (how intimate are they during?)

He might not be goofy, but damn if he doesn’t try his best to make it intimate. He’s been waiting so goddamn long for you to come into his life again, he’s gonna make sure his image is pressed into your mind as well as your body.

J- Jack Off (self ex.)

A rare occurrence. Maybe twice a month. He’s not the most sex driven person, and he’d rather spend his time with you rather than alone.

However.... he’s never touched himself so much as the days leading up to the day you help up that glowing vile of ink... you both could feel the tension, and that ink sealed your fate.

“Love.... do you have any clue how long I’ve wanted this? How many times I’ve touched myself thinking of this moment...?”

K- Kink

Honestly? If you praise him in anyway? He’ll make you see another planet.

“What...? What was that? Can you say that again? No, say that again.” “........” “..... again........ again... again...”

Big thing for biting and scratching. I mean, have you seen this mans nails?

“It hurts you say? Hehe.... well... it’s supposed to!”

Nothing too heavy, but he’s definitely interested in bondage. He’s especially interested in handcuffs.

“Not to tight right? Hm, funny, the more I bind you, the more fidgety you become....”

L- Location (where do they like to do it?)

Does not like the idea of being caught, you are for him to see and him alone. Somewhere safe, cushy, and where both of you know you won’t be interrupted.

“No no, wait. Lock the door. I don’t want anyone else seeing you. They don’t deserve too.”

M- Motivation (what gets them in the mood?)

Honestly? Just asking. Is that kinda un-sexy? Yeah. But he likes the honestly when he’s so used to nothing but lies.

“Dearest! You’re back! I just read the m—...... what? Well... I... well.... hehe.... alright. Come here.”

N- No (what will they never do?)

Besides letting anyone else in the room, he doesn’t like it when he draws blood. If he bites down or scratches and draws blood, he knows he went a little too far.

“Damn... your skin is weaker than I thought it would be... no no, it’s ok, it’s my fault. Come on, let’s get you some water. It won’t happen again.”

He also has a biiig problem with non-con role play. Also, role play in general seems silly to him, but non-con stuff is really crossing the line.

“What? People are into that? And I thought the ‘playing pretend’ thing was as low as people could get. Why would I trouble you with something you don’t want?”

O- Oral (self ex.)

Hates giving. He feels like it’s unclean, can’t stand the taste. He loves receiving however. He prefers you to spit, he feels bad when you swallow something that tastes so vile.

“Dearest, no. You don’t have too-.... oh, you did anyway. I wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t...”

P- Pace (how fast/hard do they like it?)

Super dependent on how you acted towards him that day.

Being a brat? Fast and hard.

“Today you’ve been much more... talkative. I don’t like the backtalk. Perhaps you’d like me to prove to you who is in control here?”

If you’re being sweet and cuddly? Soft and sensual.

“Come here.... you’ve been so good to me today.... maybe you’d like me to give you a reward? It’s only fair...”

He’s not a one trick pony.

Q- Quickie (how do they feel about quick rounds?)

No. He likes to take his time.

“Wha- here? Now? Dearest, no. Let’s wait till tonight and have a proper time.”

R- Risk (would they enjoy maybe being caught in the act?)

N o. 不 要. N o n. N e i n. A b s o l u t e l y not.

“Your other souls have been lurking around you lately. I don’t appreciate it.” “What?” “Of course I care about him coming to close to you! What if he ruins all I’ve made for you?” “.... don’t concern yourself with meanings...”

S- Stamina (how long do they last?)

At most, two or three rounds. He prefers one drawn out round where your absolutely spent and sore by the end of it, though.

“Hmm? Again? Well... alright. Give me a minute. Come here. Let me hold you until I’m ready.”

T- Toy (would they use toys?)

Sorta? He’d definitely use handcuffs and blindfold and the like, but not so much vibrators or dildos. He doesn’t want a piece of plastic doing his job for him.

“I’m not sure. I don’t see the point in buying what I already give you.”

U- Unfair (do they tease and deny you a lot?)

Yes. You’ll be crying begging for him and he still won’t give you what you want.

“You need to ask politely!” “I can’t hear you....” “hehe.... you weren’t loud enough that first time... maybe another twenty minutes is required to make you completely obedient....”

V- Volume (how loud are they?)

Not at all. Small grunts, and a lot of sighing. He does talk a lot, though.

“mmm... you’re so warm... I can feel the way you squeeze down on me... should I go deeper?” “Hmhm.. I’ll take that as a yes....”

W- Wild Card (random head canon)

He likes to have low lighting. Even when you’re not having sex, he likes to work by candle light.

“It’s easier on the eyes, don’t you think?”

X- X-Ray (what’s going on down there?)

Around 5.9 ish. Not small by any means, but it’s not going to kill you.

Y- Yearning (how high is their libido?)

Not exactly high, nor really low though, either. A happy medium. He is firm on when he’s not in the mood. He respects when you say no, he expects the same amount of respect.

“Dearest, We’ve already had our fun thrice the last days already, I have things to catch up on.”

Z- ZZZ... (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

.... does whiskey ever sleep? He does like how cute and exhausted you look, however.

“Hmm, asleep already? Hehe... that’s okay. You’re so cute.... I like seeing you so peaceful, so vulnerable....”

[mhcrny]

GIVE ME THE NAME OF ONE OF MY OCS IN MY ASKBOX AND I'LL ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY

❛ ❪ @frostbxtch​ sent a message :

COMO ASSIM EU MANDEI DO GUNTHER. FAZ DO GUNTHER

full name: gunther von strucker.

best friend: skyler rogers e peter parker.

sexuality: panssexual.

favorite color: verde!

relationship status: solteiro.

ideal mate: gunther não é nenhum pouco exigente. ele só quer alguém para ouvi-lo e estar presente quando ele precisa. de preferência que goste de cuddles tanto quanto ele, porque ele é carente. q

turn-ons: gunther nunca se envolveu tanto sexualmente ao ponto de descobrir tudo que ele gosta, mas… ele sabe que gosta bastante de dirty talk, mordidas e arranhões.

favorite food: comida japonesa!

crushes: ninguém em específico até agora?

favorite music: i am machine - three days grace ( emo d+ )

biggest fear: gunther tem muitos medos. mas acho que o maior medo dele é se tornar como o pai. mesmo isso sendo impossível, pois ele é um anjinho.

biggest fantasy: not having the name and blooline he has ele ainda ‘tá se descobrindo na vida, ele sabe que ele não vai querer ser um agente da s.h.i.e.l.d para sempre, mas ele não sabe o que ele quer fazer com a vida dele por enquanto.

bad habits: fumar e beber são uns dos seus maus hábitos. mas desde pequeno ele também tem o péssimo hábito de se arranhar quando está nervoso, ansioso ou estressado. às vezes os arranhões chegam a abrir feridas e, por ele continuar arranhando sobre os machucados, ele tem algumas cicatrizes no pescoço e braços. é uma forma de se fazer parar de pensar nas coisas que estão o estressando e se focar na dor.

biggest regret: being born acho que não ter se voltado contra a hidra e o pai dele mais cedo?

best kept secrets: gunther tenta ser o mais honesto possível, por motivos de ninguém confiar nele. então acho que ele não guarda nada não. pelo menos no verse original.

last thought: provavelmente alguma coisa sobre os anjinhos dele ( sky&pete ) porque ele está sempre pensando nos solzinhos dele!

worst romantic experience: gunther nunca se envolveu romanticamente.

biggest insecurity: com toda certeza o nome/sangue dele.

weapon of choice: ele nunca vai admitir, mas uma faca ou os próprios punhos. infelizmente por causa do sadismo que ele puxou do pai. he tries his best to change it and control it.

role model: skyler rogers e peter parker! ele quer ser uma pessoa tão boa quanto eles.

❛ ❪ @frostbxtch​ sent a message :

AMANDA O COLIN. E O NÃO CHANYEOL Q

❛ ❪ @meanestmachine​ sent a message :

Colin.

full name: colin marchand.

best friend: lucifer laxann.

sexuality: panssexual.

favorite color: preto.

relationship status: solteiro.

ideal mate: alguém que respeite o fato de ele não estar sempre presente. colin é um viajante, afinal, e ele se sente preso em um só lugar.

turn-ons: he’s very kinky, i could stay here all day puxões de cabelo, mordidas na orelha e dirty talk acho que são os maiores turn-ons dele.

favorite food: chocolate amargo.

crushes: pUTS? andrew benjamin constantine for sure; mas o colin tem crush em todo mundo que é um docinho com ele.

favorite music: tout oublier - angèle.

biggest fear: morrer.

biggest fantasy: se tornar um bailarino. but he thinks it’s too late for that.

bad habits: não consigo pensar em nenhum hábito ruim dele além de fumar?

biggest regret: não ter fugido de casa mais cedo e não ter começado aulas de balé quando pôde.

best kept secrets: basicamente toda a vida dele? ele gosta de falar sobre as viagens que ele faz, mas tirando isso, colin não fala muito sobre a vida dele.

last thought: provavelmente qual será a próxima viagem dele!

worst romantic experience: apesar de o lucifer ser o melhor amigo dele hoje, há muito tempo atrás eles tentaram um relacionamento. digamos que ambos são apáticos e meio narcisistas e a experiência não foi tão agradável. colin odeia brigar, discutir, e nunca queria conversar sobre o que estava acontecendo no relacionamento. ao invés disso, ele fugia. e lucifer ao invés de falar o que tinha de errado, era extremamente arrogante e sarcástico. eles se afastaram por uns bons anos sem nem terminar o relacionamento direito, mas depois se entenderam e hoje são bons amigos!

biggest insecurity: mano?? colin não é nenhum pouco inseguro. mas acho que se tivesse que escolher algo, seria o fato de ele gostar de balé? ele foi muito oprimido por isso e ainda tem vergonha desse gosto.

weapon of choice: nenhuma, tem como? q

role model: ele mesmo. -n

full name: sunmer o’sullivan.

best friend: bold of you to assume he has one.

sexuality: demissexual.

favorite color: amarelo.

relationship status: solteiro.

ideal mate: ih... alguém que ele se sente seguro por perto? que ele confie. mas é difícil.

turn-ons: sunmer é virgem. ele não sabe nada disso não.

favorite food: hambúrguer, batata-frita, bacon... essas coisas saudáveis.

crushes: nenhum.

favorite music: scream - breakaway.

biggest fear: morrer? mas ao mesmo tempo ele quer morrer? depression issues.

biggest fantasy: BEING HAPPY

bad habits: oh boy. acho que auto-mutilação é o pior. mas ele tem tantos......

biggest regret: não ter fugido de casa quando pôde.

best kept secrets: tudo lmao. trust no one not even yourself feelings

last thought: provavelmente sobre a faculdade.

worst romantic experience: sunmer nunca teve nenhum relacionamento.

biggest insecurity: a heterocromia dele, eu acho.

weapon of choice: uma faca.

role model: ninguém.

❛ ❪ @franespace​​ sent a message :

kobe & matthew

full name: kobe natsume shepard.

best friend: eu acho os pais dele HUSHAUSHAUHSA

sexuality: bissexual.

favorite color: azul.

relationship status: solteiro.

ideal mate: alguém tão meme e caótico quanto ele.

turn-ons: hm... acho que qualquer coisa que envolva o pescoço dele. q

favorite food: frituras, salgadinhos, doces... coisas saudáveis, sabe.

crushes: nenhum.

favorite music: dots and dashes ( enough already ) - silversun pickups.

biggest fear: perder os pais dele..................k

biggest fantasy: PODER SE CHAMAR DE SHEPARD SEM TER UMA PISTOLA APONTADA NA TESTA DELE

bad habits: não levar absolutamente nada a sério.

biggest regret: no regrets.

best kept secrets: nenhum? talvez um fetiche caótico. -n

last thought: algum meme. com toda certeza.

worst romantic experience: kobe nunca se envolveu romanticamente.

biggest insecurity: nenhuma?

weapon of choice:  AK-9? idk

role model: os pais dele, óbvio.

full name: matthew leert.

best friend: ryan wind e a irmã gêmea dele.

sexuality: demissexual.

favorite color: vermelho.

relationship status: solteiro.

ideal mate: lmaoooo qualquer pessoa. se ele se apegar e amar a pessoa pronto tá ótimo é só isso que ele precisa q.

turn-ons: mordidassss

favorite food: massa. qualquer massa.

crushes: ryan wind e o milozinho.

favorite music: without the lights - elliot moss.

biggest fear: perder as pessoas que ele ama.

biggest fantasy: acho que ele não tem nenhuma. ele ‘tá feliz com a vida que tem hoje.

bad habits: se desculpar por tudo.

biggest regret: ter matado pessoas. mesmo ele não tendo escolha nas situações.

best kept secrets: o passado dele.

last thought: provavelmente sobre a familinha dele ( ryan&irma dele ).

worst romantic experience: nenhuma? i mean, nenhuma deu certo, mas ele não se arrepende de nenhuma delas.

biggest insecurity: ughhh tudo! ele é muito inseguro, tadinho. ele não gosta da aparência dele, da arte dele, da voz dele, da personalidade dele... nada. ):

weapon of choice: as mãos dele? lmao ele não precisa de arma.

role model: ryan wind. ryan é um solzinho e é uma das pessoas mais atenciosas, bondosas e carinhosas que ele conhece, além de ser extremamente talentoso. o matthew se sente levemente intimidado perto dele. q

[pamphletstoinspire]

Readings for Pentecost Sunday

This post picks up from themes discussed in the previous post on the Readings for the Vigil of Pentecost.

For Pentecost Sunday, Mass during the Day, the First Reading is, finally, the account of Pentecost itself, from Acts 2:1-11:

When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled, they were all in one place together. And suddenly there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, and it filled the entire house in which they were. Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire, which parted and came to rest on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.

Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven staying in Jerusalem. At this sound, they gathered in a large crowd, but they were confused because each one heard them speaking in his own language. They were astounded, and in amazement they asked, “Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans?

Then how does each of us hear them in his native language? We are Parthians, Medes, and Elamites, inhabitants of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the districts of Libya near Cyrene, as well as travelers from Rome, both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs, yet we hear them speaking in our own tongues of the mighty acts of God.”

We have already remarked (in the post on the Vigil readings) on the intimate relationship between this event and Babel (Pentecost is the Un-Babel) and Sinai (Sinai is the giving of the Old Law for the Old Covenant; Pentecost is the giving of the New Law of the New Covenant).

It is important to note that the congregation gathered around the apostles comes not only from a wide variety of nations of the earth, but also consists of “Jews and converts to Judaism.” In other words, there are both ethnic Jews and ethnic Gentiles here: those who hear the apostles are truly a representative cross-section of humanity.

It is unfortunate, though understandable, that the rest of Acts 2 is not read for this Mass. A reading of the rest of the chapter should be obligatory for every homilist or teacher and would allow the following points to be made:

(1) the close association of the giving of the Spirit with the ministry of Peter, the spokesman to and for the Body of Christ. One of the goals of the Church is the reunification of the human family. Denominationalism and nationalism among non-Catholic Christians defeats this goal. Like him or not, the successor of Peter remains the central figure of world Christianity. All Catholics are united in their fidelity to him, and the only thing that unites all non-Catholics is their opposition to him. Thus he is the great unifier. See this article by Protestant theologian Stephen Long.

(2) The close association of the giving of the Spirit with baptism, and by extension the sacramental ministry of the Church: “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38).

(3) The correlation of the worship of the early Church and Mass: “And they devoted themselves to (a) the apostles’ teaching and (b) fellowship, to the (c) breaking of bread and the (d) prayers (Acts 2:42).” This is a perennial description of the life of the Church. We see all these same elements in the Mass, respectively, in (a) the readings and homily, the (b) passing of the peace, (c) the Liturgy of the Eucharist, and (d) the Collect and the Eucharistic Prayer. St. Luke records the life of the early Church in such a way that we can recognize our continuity with them, because we are the same Body extended in time.

The Responsorial Psalm is the same as that for the Vigil. See my comments on the vigil below.

The Second Reading is 1 Cor 12:3-13:

Brothers and sisters:

No one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.

As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ.

For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit.

This passage raises several interesting points. St. Paul says, “No one can say Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit.”

What does it mean to say “Jesus is Lord?” Remember that Jews like Paul did not pronounce the divine name (YHWH) but substituted adonai in Hebrew and kurios, “Lord,” in Greek. The fullest sense of proclaiming “Jesus is Lord” is to identify him with the God of Israel who revealed himself to Moses.

Further, Paul’s statement that “No one can say Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit,” reminds us that Pentecost, while a extraordinary event, is not the first bestowal of the Spirit on mankind. The Spirit has been active since Creation. Particularly, a careful reading of the infancy narratives of Luke 1-2, to mention just one example, shows how active the Spirit was even before the earthly ministry of Christ. St. Paul’s statement implies that the Spirit was already active upon certain individuals who confessed Jesus as Lord in the Gospel narratives (e.g. Matt 15:22, John 20:18,28). Pentecost is the coming of the Spirit as “power from on high” (cf. Luke 24:49), but by no means is it the debut of the Holy Spirit in salvation history!

St. Paul goes on in this reading to discuss different spiritual gifts, stressing that “to each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.” How often that truth is ignored in parish life! We still tend to operate with a “passive” view of the Catholic laity, the view that the laity’s role is to show up to receive the sacraments while the work of the Church is carried out by clergy and religious. Yet the Scripture insists that gifts of the Spirit are given to each, for the purpose of building up the whole body. Yet the typical parish offers little or no guidance for the typical lay person to identify his or her giftedness, and develop it within parish life. Here is a program that offers some suggestions.

The other option for Year C in the Second Reading is Romans 8:8-17:

Brothers and sisters:

Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh; on the contrary, you are in the spirit, if only the Spirit of God dwells in you. Whoever does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is alive because of righteousness. If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, the one who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also, through his Spirit that dwells in you. Consequently, brothers and sisters, we are not debtors to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a Spirit of adoption, through whom we cry, “Abba, Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.

This Reading allows the homilist the opportunity to speak about what St. Paul truly taught about the path of salvation, in contrast to what Protestants have traditionally said about St. Paul.

As a Protestant pastor/evangelist, I used to visit homes and give “Gospel presentations” where I taught “salvation by faith alone” based on the “Roman Road,” a collection of verses from Romans arranged in such a way as to imply a sola fide path to heaven. But St. Paul does not teach salvation by faith alone! Nor does he teach that we “earn” our way to heaven!

St. Paul clearly denies that we can simply “believe in Jesus” and then be saved, no matter how we live. He says above, “If you live according to the flesh, you will die!” By this he means spiritual death! To continue to live in sin will result in eternal separation from God, even if you “believe in Jesus”!

Rather, the Christian life is a process of “putting to death the deeds of the body” (i.e. sin) “by the Spirit” so that we may “live.”

How is this not “works righteousness” or “earning our way to heaven”?

Because it is empowered by the Holy Spirit! St. Paul teaches that we receive the Holy Spirit from God through faith and baptism. Thereafter, the Spirit truly works in our lives, changing our thoughts, feelings, and actions, so that we truly follow God’s Law (summarized as love of God and love of neighbor) and become acceptable in his sight. There is no salvation apart from the transformation of our thoughts, feelings, and actions — who we are — by the Holy Spirit! There are no shortcuts or loopholes!

This transformation is not always pleasant, because it means the killing off of some of our desires, many of which are sinful and unhealthy. Moreover, as we grow in holiness, the world around us doesn’t always appreciate it, and often responds with hostility. Therefore we must “suffer with him, so that we may be glorified with him”! That final verse of this Reading also contradicts any notion of “salvation by faith alone” understood as easy-believism!

The Gospel Reading is John 20:19-23, which is John’s record of the initial bestowal of the Spirit on the Apostles:

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,and whose sins you retain are retained.””

Sometimes this is called the “Johannine Pentecost,” but it would be incorrect to pit these two events against one another, as if John was of the opinion that the Spirit was given at one time, and Luke of the opinion that it was dispensed at another. In the Christian life, there are certainly definitive giftings of the Spirit (for example, in Baptism and Confirmation, and even in every worthy reception of the Eucharist), but the Spirit comes to us continually, not just once.

In fact, Luke does record the same event we find detailed in today’s Gospel Reading, although the fact is frequently missed. In Luke 24:49 Jesus says, “Behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you.” The Greek is present tense: Jesus is giving the Spirit as he speaks, which is the event recorded in John 20. The rest of Luke 24:49 says, “But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from high.” So Pentecost is not the first time the Apostles receive the Spirit. Rather, it is a special dispensation, it is a “clothing with power from on high.” We should understand it as an extraordinary empowerment with authority, gifts and charisms that they will need for their apostolic ministry. As the Second Reading emphasized, there are many gifts and forms of ministry inspired by the same Spirit.

Finally, the Gospel Reading emphasizes the coordination of the ministry of the Spirit with the Apostles. John makes the same point as Luke, a point we have remarked on in previous posts. Highlighted here is the essence of what we know as the Sacrament of Reconciliation: “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, whose sins you retain are retained.” This emphasizes the purpose for which the Spirit is given: that our sins may be forgiven.

Calvin struggled with this verse and ended up arguing that the “forgiveness of sins” referred to the apostles’ preaching. Through preaching sins were forgiven or retained. One can see that interpretation is certainly not the obvious meaning of the text. Perhaps if the entire Church had always understood the verse that way, one could accept it as its meaning. But of course, the Church hasn’t understood it in Calvin’s sense. Like many other passages of Scripture, this was one in which Calvin could not actually live by the principle of “sola scriptura.” When talking with other Christians, Catholics should remember that it is most certainly not a question of “them” (Protestants) taking the Bible “literally,” and “us” taking the Bible “figuratively.” The differences between Catholics and other Christians revolve around which passages are to be taken one way or the other, literally or figuratively.

As a Protestant pastor I never even noticed John 20:23. Now, I love this verse as an assurance that those vested with the leadership of the Church have been granted by Jesus himself the authority to remit sins. I’m not left to battle with my own subjective judgments on my own behavior, which are invariably self-justifying and biased, but I can state reality before the man on whom hands have been laid, and objectively, tangibly hear the voice of the Spirit: “I absolve you …”

Just as in the first reading, the Gospel reading from John 20 emphasizes the connection of the Spirit with the Apostolic ministry, and by extension, the ministry of those in apostolic succession. There is not a “hierarchical” Church and a “charismatic” Church—there is one Church, and the Spirit moves through her officers. Of course, when her officers resist the Holy Spirit, or don’t manifest the “fruit,” it is a sore trial of faith for the rest of the body, but the answer then is prayer and fasting (Matt 17:21), not schism.

The alternative Gospel for Year C is John 14:15-26:

Jesus said to his disciples: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always.

“Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him. Those who do not love me do not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me.

“I have told you this while I am with you. The Advocate, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.”

In this passage, part of the Last Supper Discourse (John 13-17), Jesus stresses the connection between love and obedience.

Liberal Christianity loves to talk about the “love of God,” but rarely about obedience to his word. Love of God without obedience is a false love. It’s empty of any content. It means, “I have vague affection in my heart for God, whoever he or she is, however I imagine him-her-it to be, but I have no specific commitment to him.”

How do we tell when I person is “filled with the Spirit”? In some groups I have associated with, being “filled with the Spirit” was identified with raising hands in worship and speaking in tongues. Those are good things in themselves, but this passage from John points to a different sign of the Spirit: “keeping the word” of Jesus. Does a person’s life exemplify “keeping Jesus’ word”? If so, it is a good sign that the “Father and Son” have come to dwell with that person.

The last verses of this Gospel promise that gift of the Advocate, the Holy Spirit that will “teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.” Some Christians take this verse as almost a promise of individual infallibility to every believer who will pray for guidance before reading the Bible. The Spirit does guide individual believers, for sure, but let’s remember that the addressees of this promise are, in fact, the Apostles assembled with Peter. We call this the “Apostolic college,” which is still with us, and takes visible shape when the successors of the Apostles gather with the successor of Peter (in a Synod or Council). So gathered, they represent the universal (in Greek, katholikos) Church. And it is to the universal (catholic) Church that Jesus gives this incredible promise that the Spirit will “teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.” Thus, in the decisions of the Church’s councils as well as in the teachings of the saints through the ages, who have been recognized for holiness by the whole Church, we have rich testimony to the Spirit’s teaching through the ages. In fact, the Catechism is a great condensation of the Spirit’s voice to the Church, “teaching and reminding,” through history to our present day.

From: www.pamphletstoinspire.com

[rhianbwatts]

Endgame Spoilers

Sorry, had to delete the original version of this because I tried to make an edit on my phone and it messed up my formatting. So this post is full of massive spoilers for Endgame. Seriously. Don’t open it if you’ve not seen the movie yet - it’s not going to make sense to you anyway. If you have seen it and you’re confused by some of the sci-fi mechanics of the movie, this might help...

Alright I’m seeing a lot of confusion around what is happening with the time travel in Endgame, so I’m going to do my best to explain my understanding of how it works. This is based on one viewing that took place at midnight, so there are almost certainly mistakes. I hope you’ll forgive me for them.

Time travel in stories works in many different ways, here are some of the main ones:

A. Back to the Future style – changing events in the past changes the future, BUT doesn’t change you. So when you go forwards in time again you might find you no longer exist or your Mum has married an asshole, and you’re aware these things have changed. B. Almost Back to the Future style (sorry can’t think of a good example for this) – changing events in the past changes the future and does affect you. This could mean the future version of you just vanishes or you become a different person. Basically that future is wiped out but the actions relating to time travel that you took in that future still must have happened. It’s a paradox but we roll with it. The possible negative consequences of this for the time-travelling version of you are pretty limitless, but on a positive you’ll never know about them.

C. The Azkaban Approach – this is how time travel exists in the Harry Potter universe (we do not speak of Cursed Child). Basically you cannot change the past/present/future by time travel. Whatever happens has already happened. You may, however, have to make sure those things happen.

D. The Discworld Dilemma (sorry, I can’t resist alliteration) – basically history wants to happen how it’s supposed to happen, although you might try to change things it will basically begin to heal itself one way or another – unless wizards, Death, gods or mystical monks living in the mountains get involved. This is more or less how Doctor Who works too.

E. Multi-verse Mechanics – basically every possible action every person in the universe is taking is creating infinite other alternate versions of that universe ALL THE TIME. When you change something by time travel you end up in a different alternate. I guess this is really similar to A/B depending on what happens to the you skipping between the universes – it’s just a different way of thinking about it.

In the movie they specifically say that A and B won’t work – because this movie-verse won’t allow time-paradoxes. Version D also clearly doesn’t work. And we can rule out E based on the Ancient One’s comments to Bruce about parallel realities being BAD and damaging your current universe (although that in itself raises issues with a lot of other comic-verse stuff). I’m going to come back to C later. Which leaves us with what Endgame is doing:

F. Personal timelines must be linear – i.e. your personal timeline may take place in lots of different timeframes, going backwards and forwards in time, without issue UNLESS you affect a past version of yourself. In that case the A and B paradox issues kicks in and, as you may end up not being the version of you that went time travelling in the first place, you (and the universe) is probably fucked.    - This is why they can’t bring the dusted back until after they complete the actions to reverse Thanos’ actions – i.e. you couldn’t have them dusted and un-dusted instantaneously. Because if you did that none of the things that happened in the intervening five years would happen and you wouldn’t become the people with the capability to undo the dusting and then you have a massive paradox.    - Obviously it’s more complicated than just your personal actions, because any person who’s actions you change could end up altering the course of the future. Even moving an object a few feet could have massive unseen consequences.    - This means that during the time travel heist the least interaction with the past they can manage the better. For example, if Steve had gone into the lift and killed or seriously hurt any of the hydra agents – that could easily change the future, because that person could have done something in the future that contributed to the circumstances in the present etc...    - Because of this there is absolutely no way for people, primarily Steve, to go back and alter historical issues in his own timeline - i.e. he can’t stop the rise of Hyrda or save Bucky any earlier without fucking up the entire universe.

The team’s inability to not alter anything in the past and (possibly) their active decisions to change things obviously presents us with some issues, here are some of the ones I’ve seen discussed/was confused by myself and how/if they’re resolved in the story: 

- Thanos and his chums – Thanos going forward to the future before he ever used the infinity stones and then being destroyed obviously creates a massive paradox. Luckily Tony is more than smart enough to realise this, so we can assume that what he actually did was send Thanos and his army back to before they intercepted Nebula’s consciousness. This puts all of Infinity Wars/Endgame into a fixed time-loop that will always play out the same. Although I can understand the symbolic significance of making what happened look like the dusting, I sort of wish they’d given it a green glow or mentioned the time loop or something to make this clearer. [RESOLVED – though not firmly stated in the movie]**

- The stones/Mjolnir not being where they need to be. Presumably we just need to accept Steve’s mission has put all this right, although I don’t remember him having anything big enough to be carrying the sceptre (it was 3am though, so maybe there was) – so we’re going to just have to imagine how he restored all the stones to their former states. [RESOLVED]

- Present-Steve telling Past-Steve about Bucky – luckily this was an easy fix as he was holding the mind stone at the time and we see him use it to wipe Steve’s memory of the encounter. [RESOLVED]

- Loki vanishing with the tesseract – both versions of the tesseract we see in this movie need to be put back and whilst the Shield base version is *relatively* simple (let’s not ask how many Steve Roger’s are running about New York at a time), Loki’s is not - this one we don’t see resolved in this story. We could assume that Steve fixes it during his mission, using the tesseract he has to track down Loki before returning it to the Shield base. However, I think it’s more likely we will see the solution to this either in the Loki tv show or Guardian’s 3. [UNRESOLVED]

- Impact of knocking out Quill/Tony’s heart attack/the lift people thinking Steve is Hydra etc. – basically I could see ways that all the “small” changes we see in the movie could have fundamentally important impacts. Tony thinking his heart is failing? Wouldn’t that impact his behaviour afterwards? Quill waking up and realising he was randomly unconscious for an unknown length of time? None of this is really resolved in the story, but we’re just going to have to assume it didn’t really as the universe didn’t explode. [RESOLVED???]

- Steve marrying Peggy – I think this is the one I’ve seen most people frustrated by, because it seems the hugest change, and this is where I’m coming back to C. I think the Azkaban Approach is in play here, with a side order of Doctor/River weirdness. Steve ALWAYS married Peggy. I went back and watched their meeting in the hospice again last night and if you look at her pictures on the bedside table, there are pictures of her with her kids but not her husband, BECAUSE her husband is Steve and they knew they couldn’t risk having photos of him on display/anyone finding out. The Peggy we see in that hospital bed knows she can’t tell that version of Steve they were married, because he hasn’t defeated Thanos yet. And she knows she has to allow him to suffer and lose everyone and defeat Thanos because the future-Steve that came back in time to marry her, told her about it. There’s the River and Doctor weirdness for you, their timelines are not in sync, they meet each other out of order (for Peggy at any rate) but with secrecy and carefulness they can make it work. And they know they can make it work because they already did. I love it but I can understand it’s a bit of a head-fuck. And, of course, there are cruelties to it. Steve can’t tackle Hydra taking over Shield or Bucky being tortured because if he does it causes a paradox and the universe is destroyed. That must be terrible but at least that version of Steve knows how it all works out, knows he left Bucky healthy and happy and as much at peace as it is possible to be. [RESOLVED – at least for me]

OK – what did I miss? What still doesn’t make any sense? Any other thoughts? – Although please be careful to tag things properly if commenting, so people don’t get accidentally spoilt.

** Extra note – I have seen a lot of discussion about where Endgame leaves Gamora and basically we don’t know. Which is cool. It all comes down to how Tony worded/understood his use of the infinity stones. If he wished everyone who was out of time back to their correct times, she’s gone and probably trapped in the time loop (although now time travel is an active super hero skill, who knows). If it was more along the lines of him sending the people they were fighting against back to their correct times, the fact that she had already switched times might have saved her. She’ll still be past-Gamora but she’s out there in the present somewhere.

[deviym]

❝  i’m sorry. we know how it works. the world is no longer mysterious.  ❞ - jim

VERSE. CHORUS. VERSE.

[ ACT I ]

you watch him as you would watch  /  any lost soul, watch him fall into your lantern bearer’s hands, like a cat watches a toy  /  mouse. he saunters into your  /  unknown, untethered by the laws of the forest, and unties your heartstrings  /  from around beatrice’s fingers. just like that, and then  /  the ocean, then the headlights, then the twisting  /  woods, all around you, pulling you into them  /  as though you were the lost one, instead  /  of him.

this is your forest, and it does as you  /  command. your lantern bearer, too, should do  /  as you command. but she doesn’t. she takes his death from you  /  before you notice, turns him into a lawless  /  thief,  /  a threat. oh, you have taken beatrice aside, again  /  and again, directed her toward  /  the gathering of your lost souls,  /  away from the pleasure she takes  /  in getting there. but she never listens, her beautiful  /  impertinent soul, the only one you will tolerate  /  disobedience  /  from. and finally, she has flaunted her will  /  in the face of your carefully laid-out laws, the natural order  /  of your forest. she takes this soul,  /  unlost,  /  and makes him  /  hers. this girl who willingly laid  /  her family at your feet, turning from you  /  you  /  you  /  for a ghost boy.

slowly, your lantern bearer falls  /  in love, despite the memory  /  of her lips on yours, the softest thing  /  you have ever known. your hand on her jaw; your lips on her eyelids, on the backs of her hands; you falling into step beside her, telling her, talk about anything that isn’t this place. no home to remember, no home to go home  /  to. slowly you lose the last thing  /  that was yours, the last thing that  /  you valued  /  in this place. perhaps the only thing you ever did. she still meets you  /  in trysts  /  in the woods, less  /  and less, still runs her hands over your antlers  /  as though they have always been there, over your  /  lips, over the roughened skin of your hands. oh, she is still tender  /  with you. oh, you tell yourself,  /  she loves you, still. despite.

but you know it’s disingenuous, everything in this world  /  a charade, and her no different. and him, as though he owns  /  the woods, as though his death  /  here  /  means nothing. 

[ ACT II ]

he invokes your name  /  BEAST  /  calls it, impertinent, into the wind. maybe you have never been anything  /  other than this, a forest spanning the entirety  /  of human history. adam in paradise, and always the forest  /  underneath, swallowing  /  the fallen souls.

he is alone  /  when you come,  /  lantern-less. you ask after beatrice and he says  /  she’s busy,  /  which means  /  hunting some other soul, one she won’t  /  fall for. which means she’s still thinking  /  of you, of your next  /  offering. which means you have a day  /  to figure things out. you size him  /  up, consider  /  his motives.

he offers one night  /  of truce, dusk  /  to dawn. alone, without beatrice, no ill  /  will. not until his verdict. no secret tricks. he wants to see you  /  alone, wants to see you for what  /  you are. wants to know what to do  /  with you. you agree, if only for your curiosity :  what  /  does beatrice see in him ?  that she could  /  forsake you  /  so easily ?  her hand on your chest, your breath short and low, your lips brushing her hairline. forgotten. how easily replaceable  /  you have proven yourself to be.

well. you had been alone  /  before her, and you will be alone  /  again  /  once you take the lantern back. take back, into your own hands, the reason why  /  you are still here.

and he is not afraid, because he has nothing left  /  to lose, and it makes you uneasy. powerless. you cannot transmute him  /  into edelwood, cannot steal his body  /  and his soul. you agree on  /  tonight,  /  before she returns, as the sun touches  /  the horizon. 

[ ACT III ]

you arrive and he is already at the rendezvous point. you linger behind a tree, not visible  /  for the shadow that is your body, while he  /  fidgets  /  in the bed of flowers  /  pushing up from the snow-wet ground. another meeting, another boy in the snow, a man with a glittering  /  axe. a bright moon shines into the clearing,  /  casting shadows on all the trees, on his pale face. appear too soon  /  and you give up the game.

he holds up his hand to stop you, and you relish the sound  /  of your bare footsteps  /  as you grow closer still. this is your territory,  /  home field. you know these woods better than you know  /  your own hands. you smile.

his shrewd eyes  /  scrape over your body. he says,  “ i wasn’t sure you’d keep your promise. ”  he doesn’t expect you to play  /  fair. but you will have your opportunity  /  to subvert the rules  /  once you have him  /  on his knees.

you match that smile with one of your own, wild,  /  remorseless.  “ then you know nothing. i always  /  keep my promises. ”  like you always uphold  /  your end of any bargain, your half  /  of a deal, no matter how you twist it.

o’ GOD OF WISHES, GOD OF WATER, GOD OF COINS BURIED IN  /  PILES AT THE BOTTOM OF WELLS, you have nothing to offer to  /  and nothing to take away from  /  this boy, which puts you in the position of least  /  power. are you  /  afraid ?  oh, you should be.

you stand across the clearing  /  from him, too far  /  to reach. imagine a war table  /  stretching between you, high-backed chairs, attendants in sharp boots. imagine an opponent with a shred  /  of civility. the red sunset pushes through the trees, and a light snow  /  begins to fall, covering your still  /  feet. you study him, not in a fleeting  /  glance, but in a large, laborious moment, notice the way his lip  /  curls as he beholds you.

“ all right, cards on the table, ”  says jim.  “ we can’t go on like this, in this limbo. we can’t let you go on. ”  his empty hands, your  /  empty hands. truce in action alone. you cannot see the sinking sun  /  through the tangle of trees, but it casts slatted red  /  bars  /  across you enemy, across your shadow-  /  touched hands. you do not struggle to see  /  in the dark, your eyes illuminating the world around you. with no lantern between you, no lantern  /  bearer, with no love to temper  /  your ugly soul, there is no kindness  /  in your heart  /  for this boy, no pity, no shred of  /  remorse. oh, don’t you know ?  you were lost in these woods, too, and unlike him  /  you will never be unlost. your shard  /  of a smile  /  matches his, both of you wary.

you run your dry  /  tongue  /  over sharpened teeth, pressing until you  /  draw blood. you don’t break eye contact. it stains your teeth, drips  /  onto your lips, the slow warm  /  dribble  /  on your tree-bark body. she is never coming back to you. say nothing. don’t give up the game.

“ it’s either you  /  or me, ”  he says. keep him talking. let him reveal  /  himself.

you pace  /  in the dark, allow him to think  /  you are deliberating. you trample all the flowers, all  /  the snow, turning this place into  /  a battleground. but whose victory ?

“ i am the forest, ”  you say, your voice river-  /  low. you have phantom memories  /  of a deeper baritone, a melody  /  you cannot quite  /  recover. and you are capsized  /  a boy digging his fingernails into the slick surface  /  of jutting rocks. smashed against them, again  /  and again. who was doing the singing ?   “ i am more than you can possibly imagine. in the end,  /  there is only my way. ”  another voice.  “ there is only the forest, and there is only surrender. ” 

“ i’ve seen what you are, and you’re nothing, ”  he says,  /  unfazed,  /  emboldened, even.

your body ripples, and  /  you growl, not a human sound  /  at all. your voice sounds like branches  /  cracking, splitting. if there is a boy in there somewhere,  /  he is not  /  here. he is not  /  coming home.

“ you’re just a soul in a lantern. all i really need to do is blow it out. ”

“ that’s a simplistic way of approaching it. ”  you voice flippant, full  /  of casual disregard.

“ then you won’t mind if i blow it out, surely. ”

you lace your fingers together, slowly crack every one  /  of your knuckles. the sound rings out  /  in the early night, the last birds  /  singing somewhere out of view.  “ well, what’s stopping you ?  is it, perhaps, that beatrice cares about me ?  ”

he laughs, a derisive  /  snort.  “ cares ?  i wouldn’t go that far. ”

to compensate, you  /  snarl. but something small and cold  /  lodges beneath your  /  ribs. and he sees this. he sits in the snow, on  /  the flowers, but you  /  remain standing, prowl  /  around him, the darkness gathering like a second cloak  /  around your shoulders. you watch him as the light fades, his glittering  /  eyes. he is as cruel  /  as you, you think. is he crueler ?  is that what she sees  /  in him ?

“ won’t you convince me otherwise ?  ”   he says, simple  /  curiosity in his voice.

and you say, simply,  “ no. you’ve made up your mind. ”  all that remains is to judge him, how far  /  he will go, what he won’t hesitate  /  in doing.

he considers this for a long time, not moving from his cross-legged position  /  on the flowers.

“ will you set your terms ?  ”   you say.  “ that’s why you called this  /  meeting. ”

he says,  “ i don’t think anybody’s playing by the rules anymore. ”

you gaze flickers to the forest  /  behind him, to the place where your lantern bearer is waiting to hear  /  the verdict, out of sight, out of  /  hearing. a smile :  he thinks, because you cannot  /  kill him,  /  that he has won. what a fool.

“ no, ”  you say.  “ i suppose not. or you wouldn’t be here, with me, laying out the conditions of our rivalry.

jim brushes back a lock of hair  /  and laughs, wild  /  and raw. without the lantern to keep  /  you company in the darkness, the night presses  /  around you, casts his pale face  /  in shadows. the light from your eyes  /  barely illuminates the dark before you. night birds scream  /  into the air. the night grows, darker  /  and darker,  /  but you fear no darkness that is not  /  absolute. the dark gets inside of you, sits in  /  your bones and grows  /  and grows.

“ essentially, it’s a free-for-all, ”  he says. “ unless you want to do us the ultimate favor. ”

“ do you run from a fight as easily as you expect me to ?  ”

he lays back in the flower-  /  spotted snow, reach up as though to draw  /  a snow angel. where  /  did you learn this ?  where do you remember this  /  from ?  do you call your memories  /  your own ?  he says nothing, which is as much of an answer  /  as you need.

“ you were no ordinary lost soul, ”  you say. this may be the last moment you have here  /  before you are hunted, before  /  the game tips, for  /  or against you.

we know who our enemies are. we know.

“ no, ”  he says.  “ you never had power over me. ”  and what’s left in the air :  you still don’t.  “ you know my endgame, and i think i know yours. ”  and yet his voice, so  /  hardened, takes on an almost  /  wistful quality, snow-softened.

“ i’m sorry. we know how it works. the world is no longer mysterious. ”

he says this, voice  /  soft, free, now, to draw his own  /  conclusions about you, and you about him. this is a meeting  /  of war, this tryst, this  /  truce. he will have to return to beatrice,  /  soon,  /  explain where he’s been, explain what he’s decided  /  must be done. and you are not afraid, just cold.

just sad. the sky turns gently grey, the sun still not pushing  /  above the horizon.

“ so what if i say i surrender ?  what then ?  ”  you bare your teeth, still reddened, but, of  /  course, with the long shadows, he can’t see that.

“ well, then, i guess we still have to figure out what  /  to do with you. ”

is there any version of this story  /  where you walk away ?  is there any version of this story where you take beatrice’s  /  hands,  /  and the lantern,  /  and carry on as though none of this had torn you  /  apart ?  where you reign as GOD for all eternity,  /  unchallenged in your dark  /  woods. you will never be  /  fulfilled. you will always be  /  edelwood  /  hungering, love  /  hungering. hungering for a girl with pale hands  /  and a cruel mouth.

“ then i won’t hold back. at least we’re on the same page. ”  you reach up and wipe at the crusted blood  /  on your chin.  “ so now that you’ve got me alone, what do you see when you see me ?  ”  you ask, blank-faced.

and he says,  “ something that needs to be put down. ”  a feral-eyed  /  animal, nothing worth  /  sparing. if he can get you on  /  your knees.

and you say,  “ i’ve made my verdict. what have you decided ?  ”   you want him out  /  of your forest.

and you do see him smiling,  /  then. the pale moon casts a pallor over him, eerie  /  even to you, shadow-  /  wreathed. he says,  “ that i’ll do whatever it takes. ”  ready your hand, as you turn your back on him, leave him lying  /  in the clearing, as though he could be asleep, if not  /  for his cold  /  blue eyes on you. the world is no longer mysterious.

[signs-of-sleep]

Wow, that's quite a journey you've made! I admire that you came back to the faith and there is no reason to feel ashamed. I'm sure He already forgave you :) Thank you again for your honesty and all those experiences you've shared with me. It really means a lot. My former professor once told me that leaving university after graduating in a theological or religious field, sometimes leaves doubt in your own faith. He said he saw many strongly religious students among the freshmen, but as many sceptics among those who graduated

The Stone Roses and the Beatles are really cool. I've been to the cities they came from, to get an impression of the environment which inspired their artistic creations. Yeah, I can completely understand what you mean by those fluctuations. For example there are songs that sound better at night etc.

There are two reasons I can't tell you my current top 5 favourite bands. One of them is that you would probably dislike some of them. The second one is that you would probably know my identity. But I listen to many different genres as well

It's an interesting thought and yes it does make sense. Everyone can read the same passage in a book, but the reading itself is something very personal. In literature studies it's called reception theory. So if you read a bible verse and I read exactly the same, we still can read it differently. This is cool, because it results in those discussions with your co-workers you've mentioned before

Haha :D I guess no one likes walking around like a tomato, especially not if you have to shower after getting burned by the sun or someone slaps your shoulder

Is it because of Halloween?

Have a nice weekend🍯

Well, I appreciate you caring about my background lol it's not the most interesting testimony, but it was a hard road to now; I feel much more comfortable as a person because of my faith and feel like I have better understanding of the world. On the subject of faith, my priest recommended I read a book called "souls in tradition" which is a study on that exact subject. My priest even studied under the author and helped him put together some of the data for this series of books :)

I like that you brought up the location of bands and how that has an impact on the style of music, I totally agree. Even American Midwest bands have their own flavor compared to someone in the Northwest or in the South. I'm also very jealous you got to visit their cities, as dreary as I've heard they are lol Someday I hope to take a trip to all my home countries, and maybe leave America behind once and for all.

I understand about the top 5 and how that may un-anon you lol but you shouldn't worry if I or anyone dislikes the music you like. Whatever touches your soul, be proud of it. I like some goofy music, so I have no room to be a snob anymore like I once was.

Oh, yes, for sure, I find the Bible verses can million different things to millions of people depending on experience, backgrounds, etc. Some can use it for good motivations and bad motivations, which is why I like referring to some type of authority on Church matters.

I'm the mayor of tomato town when it comes to sun burns lol it's that irish fair skin I got that doesn't lend to a tan.

Just the general atmosphere October and Autumn really makes for a great feeling. Halloween is great, but it's just the crisp cool that leads up that hangs around with nostalgia. Do you have a favorite season?

Enjoy your weekend as well!

[mhdiaries]

Diary of Draculaura

Volume one thousand five hundred and ninety-nine... and 7/8.

15♥September

I “broke up” with Jackson Jekyll today... not that we were ever really dating I mean officially, which would have been nice but every time he would ask me out he would totally pull the invisible boy act on me and not show up. Or call. The next day he was always very sweet and apologetic but he could never remember why he forgot our date. I guess the final nail in the coffin was when he didn’t meet me at this party and I totally felt like a one tombstone graveyard. I ended up dancing with this scary hot DJ named Holt Hyde who acted like he knew me although I’m pretty sure that we hadn’t met before. Jackson and I are still friends but sometimes that’s just how the tombstone crumbles.

25♥September

Went to the beach with Frankie, Clawdeen and Clawd to watch Lagoona surf. It was a beautiful day, which meant I had to break out the sunscreen although the stuff I have to use is more like sunwall. It’s so thick it’s like being coated in honey and it’s like a sand magnet so I pretty much have to stay on a blanket the whole time or I end up looking like a sand sculpture. Oh well, it’s worth the annoyance to get to spend the day at the beach.

30♥September

I stayed up late reading a new novel about a forbidden romance between a werewolf girl and a vampire boy... like that would ever happen... but it’s so sweet and tragic I couldn’t put it down. Of course I slept through my alarm and was almost late for school, which meant my makeup was a mess cause I couldn’t take my time putting it on. Luckily, Ghoulia saw me before anyone else did and she helped me straighten it out so I didn’t walk into my first class looking like an undead clown... not that there’s anything wrong with that.

1♥October

I took one of those quizzes to see what kind of creature I am - I think all the teen monster mags have them now - which seems kind of strange since like I already know. Anyway, the quiz had questions ike: What is your favorite haunt? What is your favorite food? Would you rather be dead or undead? Do you run, shamble, fly or ooze? So after I answered all the questions I turned to the back to read: Congratulations! You are a Woodland Nymph! You are kind, gentle and love sunshine and nature. You probably make your home in a tree where you enjoy the company of many woodland animals that you would never scare or eat. I wonder if I should share this with father? LOL... maybe not = )

7♥October

Clawd and Spectra had a monster argument today and it created such a fuss that both of them got called into Headmistress Bloodgood’s office. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Clawd so angry or Spectra so self-righteous but neither of them would talk about it when they came out of HHB’s office - not even to me! Clawdeen thinks it has something to do with Cleo and Clawd but I totally don’t understand how she made that connection. Now Clawdeen is mad at Cleo. Again. This is really sad and since it seemed like they were starting to actually tolerate each other.  

12♥October

I know a lot of monsters are not excited about having to write an essay on our monster heritage but I think it’s creeperifically cool! First of all, I’m writing a screenplay about my un-life and I think this will really help the third act and secondly because it gives me the opportunity to set the record straight about a couple of things. Beginning with the fact that my father is much older than any monster realizes. I mean he was already a vampire back when togas were first considered fashionable... sooo glad father doesn’t wear one anymore. Then there was that whole identity theft calamity that happened when we rented our castle in Transylvania to a total con-monster who went around pretending to be father. Now I have to carry a copy of my death certificate to prove that I really am as old as I say I am cause some monsters think I must be related to that loser. Unfortunately for the imposter his bats came home to roost and not in a good way either. The rest of my story, like how father took in me and my mother when no one else would and why I’m a vegan vampire I’m going to save for the screenplay which I would like to film in pink and white. How scary cool would that be?

16♥October

In the span on 3 days Clawdeen missed a test in Mad Science, a school dance and a buy one get one shoe sale at the Maul. Frankie and I knew something had to be wrong but Clawdeen wouldn’t answer our texts or emails. Finally Clawd showed us a picture he took of Clawdeen with his iCoffin. Her hair... it was... it was... not of this world. Clawd said she couldn’t fix it and had to “ctrl+alt+delete her new ‘do” with a pair of electric clippers. He said she was so depressed that she turned all her mirrors toward the wall and wasn’t even growling at Howleen for borrowing her clothes. I suggested we shave our heads too but then Frankie reminded me how fast Clawdeen’s hair grows and that we’d be bald a lot longer than she would so we came up with the idea of going to the Maul and buying Clawdeen a fierce fashionista scare package to cheer her up instead and that’s just what we did. Of course we bought some things for ourselves too = )

25♥October

I was supposed to fang out with the ghouls last night but I didn’t. I tried to explain what happened to Clawdeen but I couldn’t. She was annoyed with me cause I always tell her everything. She thinks I’m keeping a secret from her which I guess I sort of am but I’m not sure I want to talk to anybody about it yet. So I wrote this poem to describe what happened. I don’t know why it’s easier for me to express emotions in verse but sometimes it just is. I read it to Count Fabulous who usually leaves the room when I get too sappy but this time he flew down and gave me a little bat hug when I was finished.

One fall autumn night I took a walk jaunt

to meet some friends at a familiar haunt

The sky above was very starry bright

and there seemed to me not a cloud in sight

So off I went without sans umbrella or coat

although what I probably needed was really a boat

Caust the clouds came rolled in with a dragon’s roar

and shortly thereafter it bagan to pour

Not a pleasant rain, good for plant and flower

but a driving, unfriendly, cold hard icy shower

Now I was halfway between home and there

my makeup was running ruined and so was my hair

With no shelter in sight or a way to get dry

I put my head face in my hands and started to cry

When out of the shower rain a voice broke through,

“Hey D it’s me Clawd, hey D is that you?”

As I blinked through the tears and rain I could see

Clawdeen’s brother Clawd, waving at me

Across four lanes of traffic bravely he dashed

with umbrella in hand to my side he flashed

He led helped me back to his car warm and dry

said not a word till I’d finished my cry

“Here’s a hot coffinccino whip cream no foam,

it’ll warm you right up while I drive you home.”

From the car he walked me up to my door

protecting me still from the storm’s downpour

As he turned to leave I placed a kiss on his cheek

then I ran inside before he could speak.

And while I watched his car disappear from sight

I felt something happen change for me that night

No longer did I see him as just my best friend’s brother

that night, to me, he became something other.

The great thing about poetry is that it doesn’t have to be epic to express how you feel. Now I have to wonder, “Does he feel the same?”

[joylessholland]

Livin’La Vida Loca

TOMHOLLANDXREADER

Summary: Livin’la Vida Loca means living the crazy life so in this imagine, the reader is a heartbreaking con artist!

(2,261 words)  (Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing, Tom being super fly and dorky at the same time)

A/N: I got this idea when listening to the song and a verse in it will explain all of it! By the way thank you SO much to @kingquackdaddy for the moodboard!  stay tuned for tomorrow!

Masterlist    Requests    Christmas Prompt list

“Hilton” the driver says pulling up to the curb “Thank you, dear” you say applying a fresh coat of red to your plump lips. Stepping out of the car the driver opens the door for you, grabbing his hand you gracefully hop from the car “I can take the luggage” you coo as he takes it out of the trunk “Oh it’s no problem ma’am really” he smiles “Oh you already earned your tip just get back in the car” you mumble slipping a twenty in his coat pocket nodding he shrugs and gets in. Your designer heels click on the pavement as you walk to the doors of the luxury hotel.

Inside the lobby a young man is checking in with his friends looking around you scan the lobby bar for any men. Seeing none you impatiently tap your foot on the marble tile.

“look dude, we need four beds” One of the boys at the front desk sighs at the attendant. “Will this help the problem” the one in front says slipping the man a fifty. Smirking you look the boys up and down “Gotcha” you mumble to yourself as you roll your suitcase up to the next desk that just opened.

“Scotch” The man says sitting next to you “neat” you chime in “neat” he nods and raises his glass to you “How’d” “You look like a neat man” you say crossing your legs “I don’t believe we’ve met I’m...Spider-man” he slams his hand onto his head “That was stupid, I’m…oh never mind” he says getting up “Wait” grabbing his arm you sit him back down. He was nervous, just they way you liked them. Batting your eyes, you give a small grin putting your hand on his thigh. That move is what you like to call the stab and this next one was called the twist “Lets start again shall we” locking eyes he swallows hard “I’m Tom” giggling to tuck your hair behind your ear “I’m [Y/N], its nice to meet you” letting go you clink glasses. “Yeah really nice” he says making you blush, there was something about him, something innocent and untouched. His heart hadn’t been broken…yet. The two of you talked for a long while drinking and just losing yourselves in conversation. Trapping a man was very much like killing one you stabbed, you twisted, now it was time to flee the scene. “Well, I should probably get back to my room” you coo as Tom waves for another round of drinks. “Really, it’s still so early” he says “I said I’m going back to my room that doesn’t mean this has to end” you stand and throw a twenty on the counter “Room 906?” you whisper in his ear kissing his cheek. Plopping a little white pill into his drink “How’d?” he smirks “Room key on the counter” you whisper smiling to yourself you swing your hips to the elevator turning you send a wink Tom’s way making him grin.

Blinking your eyes open you find a strong arm holding your waist, your body ached from the rigorous activity of just hours prior. Slipping from bed you look over the sleeping boy, “Sucker” you smile snatching his pants off the floor. In the left pocket you find a leather wallet with the initials TSH sewn in the leather. Walking to the window you flip the wallet open, in the pale moonlight you make out a picture of a smiling little boy hugging a beautiful dog. Slipping the picture from the clear pocket you look at the writing on the back. “Tessa and Pads.” Looking out at the moon your mind wandered.

“You have no right to treat you daughter that way” you mother screamed in the kitchen, tears rolled down your face as a loud smack echoed through the house. “Don’t you fucking dare tell me how to parent my child” your father barked as a loud crash followed by a whimper came from the other room. Letting out a small sob you jumped up the stairs two at a time till you were safe in your room. On your bed laying curled in a ball was you’re the beautiful dog your mother got you. Distant shouts and screams came through the floor causing [Y/D/N] to let out a low growl “Sh, we have to be quiet” you whispered as another loud boom sound came from downstairs. Standing [Y/D/N] growled before barking. The shouting stopped and a few words were exchanged then your mother yelling your name. Loud foot falls on the steps shake the floor. Kicking the door open your father enters the room blood splattered across his shirts, hair a sweaty mess, and beard untrimmed “Who the fuck said you could get a dog” he snaps stepping towards you. Jumping in his path [Y/D/N] snarls bearing his teeth barking at the man that towered over him. “Get the fuck” he growled kicking the dog into the closet. Wincing as it hit the doors, he stands again dashing at your father Biting down hard on his arm, “Oh your dead” he shouts flinging [Y/D/N] across the room. You scream his name as he lays limp on the ground, “You’re a monster” you shout tears pouring from your eyes “You little bit…” your father raises his hand but an ear-splitting shoot rings out. Blinking twice your father collapses to the floor and in the doorway your mother with a black eye, busted lip, and gun in hand, smiles!.

Blinking away a single tear you carefully place the picture back in the wallet. Slipping it back into Tom’s pocket you kiss his head. Your mind flashed, what the hell are you doing? There was seven hundred dollars cash and five credit cards in there. You could live like a queen for at least the next eight to nine hours depending on how long the pill lasted, but somewhere deep inside someone was trying to come out. That person was clawing past the years of self-hate, shoveling past the last two years of you hurting men, that little voice inside finally said something. “Don’t be bitch, get your dress on and leave this nice man alone!” Maybe it was time you finally listen, maybe you didn’t have to hurt people, maybe you could love people. Sighing sadly, you grab your dress and slip it on looking back one last time at Tom’s sleeping body. “Maybe just twenty, NO” you mumble to yourself opening the door sneaking away.

Stumbling into a man on the street you slip your hand ever so slightly into his pocket and pull out his wallet, apologizing you make sure to smile and bat your lids. Touching his arm with your free hand he blushes and walks off. Catching a cab, you ask the driver “A nice place for brunch” nodding he pulls away from the curb. Opening the wallet, you pull out a few hundred dollars and a Starbucks gift card “Score” you whisper under your breath rolling the window down tossing the leather wallet into the street.

Half way through your second bloody Mary someone taps you lightly on the shoulder. “Look man I didn’t take your…” There standing in a tight fitted grey shirt and jeans is Tom, “Hey I missed you this morning, do you mind if I sit?” he asks pointing to the empty chair across from you. “Yeah sure” you answer a little flustered “I had a lot of fun last night, I was going to ask if you wanted to get breakfast but you uh, weren’t there when I got up, which was really late for some reason” he laughed staring at you as you sipped your drink nervously. The only time you’d ever see him was under dim bar lights, or in the pale moonlight. The middays sun brightened his features and making his eyes glimmer. “I had fun too.” You say watching as he picks a piece of bacon off your plate “Well, do you want to do dinner? Tonight?” laughing sadly you place your drink on the table “Look, your great. But I’m not. The whole reason I was with you was because…” “You were gonna take my wallet and probably some of my stuff.” He smiles as your eyes grow wide “What…how’d” you slowly get up “Please sit, I’m not mad” his voice was sweet as he talked “I distinctly remember throwing you on the bed, taking my pants off, throwing the behind me almost hitting the lamp. With my wallet in my left pocket. I was quite surprised when I woke up with my wallet in my back pocket, and my jeans on the floor by the window.” He says sipping your bloody Mary. Blushing nervously, he grins and the corners of his eyes crinkle “But the point is you didn’t, you could have made off with my credit cards but you didn’t.” “So, what you came here to confront me, make sure I didn’t take anything else. Look I didn’t take anything.” Nodding he stands throwing down a couple bill to pay for your meal “I’ll pick you up at six” he says kissing your cheek biting your lip you turn and see him place a pair of sunglasses on his face. “Six it is” you whisper sitting back in your chair.

The restaurant was nice, the people there snooty. Your earrings shimmered in the light of the chandelier as the hostess lead you to a back table. “You look…wow” Tom says sitting across from you “You don’t look to bad yourself” you smirk holding up the menu “What can I start you off to drink” the waiter said in a clearly fake French accent “I’ll have water” Tom said giggling you say “une bouteille de votre meilleur champagne (a bottle of your finest champagne)” your French was fluid with the slightest accent on the right words. Looking at you with wonder in his eyes “whatever the lady wants” he coos as the waiter fumbles with his words “right, uh. Right away madam” waltzing off you laugh “He has no idea what I said” reaching out Tom grabs your hand “Tell me how you’d steal that guys wallet” he says nodding his head to the side. On his right was a man, sixty years old, overweight, clearly rich, eating a nice steak dinner with his wife and another young man that could have been his son. Smiling you study the man for a moment, every so often he would reach into his left pocket and pull out a handkerchief, couch violently into it before placing it back in his pocket, his wife had been guzzling down wine like no tomorrow and at her age she’d be getting up to go to the bathroom at any moment, and the son was looked to be cracking jokes at any point. Apparently, their conversation was quite funny because the father was having a good old laugh which in turn made him cough. “I’d… go to the back get a dessert menu wait for the wife to go to the bathroom because she’s been drinking wine like she’s been stranded in the desert for three years. Then, I’d perk the girls up and go over and offer the nice men a complimentary dessert, the kid looks like a jokester so he’d make his father laugh at something, then when the dad is done laughing and goes for the disgusting tissue of his I’d drop the menu slip into his pocket grab the wallet and say ‘I’ll give you boys some time to think’” the words come out clearly and quickly rendering Tom speechless.

“Can you…” he shakes his head dismissing the thought. “Only if you grab you champagne and we book it” looking at the family the waiter brings back a bottle of expensive champagne “Are we ready to order” he says having lost the French accent “A little more time” Tom asks and he walks off “Are we really doing this” nodding you get up from the table to whisper in his ear “When I drop the menu you grab the bottle and run to the exit.” Kissing his cheek, you walk to the waiter station. Looking around you grab a spare note and dessert menu, watching through your lashes as the woman excuses herself to the bathroom. The blood in your veins runs hot as you adjust your breasts, “go time” you mumble strutting up to the table. Leaning down a little you smile “Can I get the table some desserts, their complimentary.” You coo “Last time a girl said that to me i woke up with one kidney.” The son jokes punching his fathers arm as he bursts out laughing smiling you let out a small laugh dropping the menu, the man reaches for his handkerchief you bend down slipping your hand into the man’s pocket pulling out the wallet you hide it behind the menu “I’ll give you fella’s some time to think” you wink at the son before turning and see that Tom is gone.

Walking outside a pair on strong arms grip your waist “That was the most amazing thing ever” he says kissing you passionately “Hell yeah it was, but we should go” you say kissing him again as you start to run down the street.

In the hotel room Tom opens the bottle of champagne pouring you a glass you chug it. Ripping his shirt off he climbs on top of you “That was so fucking hot” he says pouring his champagne down your bare chest before licking it off. Smiling you kiss his neck.

Here are some beautiful KITTENS: @midtownvaledictorian@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked@tiemeupspidey @captain-katie-xx@panicatttckiss@champagneholland@seilamigliorcosacheabbiamaivisto@mendes-holland @maggie-starz @natalie-kn@vaeyron@wonderyoung @ging3r-fall@louisnholland@little-weirdo-13@calumminter@sunshiineandmoonliight@tomhstories@rosieeemma @societalreject @bibs-fortuna@antisocialoutcast12@jadabelle @las-civus@oceantostars@tiemeupspidey @dr-tardis-who@hazelgracewatersaugustus@jessica-moon9@sophietanda @yasstoeverygirloutthere@beccaaahh5711@emptyy-skyy@parkeretmj @clairesrainbow@fangirltopic@marveltomjunkie @kingquackdaddy

[swimintothesound]

Lil Pump Versus The Elderly: A Long and Storied History

Letter From the Editor: The writer of this piece would like to apologize in advance for the abject stupidity contained within the following wall of text. If you’re brave enough to subject yourself to the mania that’s about to unfold, then you have my admiration, gratitude, respect, and appreciation. Thank you for understanding, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Pumpology 101: The Mystifying Origins of Gazzy Garcia

Lil Pump is a dreadlocked 17-year old rapper from Florida who first began making waves in late 2016 when his song “D Rose” became an unexpected viral hit. Over the span of a few short months, the wrist-obsessed track had garnered millions of plays on Soundcloud and over one hundred million curious YouTube clicks. By the end of 2017, Lil Pump (whose real name is Gazzy Garcia) had established himself as a mainstream success when his song “Gucci Gang” peaked at #3 on the Billboard charts. Spawning from his self-titled debut, the alliterative hit quickly became the focal point of a heated debate on the declining state of rap music rap music, the ongoing idocratization of popular culture, and the bare minimum required to pass for lyricism in the year of our Lord 2017.

Expertly covered by both Rolling Stone and The New York Times, Mr. Pump has become a figure at the forefront of the budding “Soundcloud Rap” movement. This subgenre is a spin-off of Trap that’s focused on crafting a particular brand of blown-out, vapid, and repetitive hip-hop that, while lyrically substanceless, still manages to be catchy, memorable, and (most importantly) energetic. It’s hype-up music that’s been distilled so many times that words practically don’t matter.

I’ve already discussed my conflicted feelings on the genre back in August, and while some members of this scene are still objectively-horrific human beings, I’m willing to admit that I’ve come around to Lil Pump thanks to the catchiness of the aforementioned “Gucci Gang.” While the man himself should never be looked up to as an idol, Garcia is still making exciting creations within a field that I’m morbidly fascinated by.

The Lyrics (or Lack Thereof)

Like most rappers, Pump’s songs typically center around the same award-winning trifecta of drugs, money, and women. What makes “Gucci Gang” unique is the fact that it ticks all these boxes while also managing to be accessible to a mainstream audience. Soundcloud Rap’s previous biggest success came in the form of “Look At Me!,” a song whose lyrics are probably just a touch too edgy for mainstream audiences.

Meanwhile “Gucci Gang” has just the right mix of garish colors and catchy lyrics, both of which are accompanied by a distinct feeling of “newness” that helped it stand out from the crowd. Additionally, the song’s bouncy three-syllable chorus proved perfectly memeable, ripe for parody, and endlessly reworkable, all of which led to a song that hit, and lingered in the cultural consciousness for longer than anyone ever expected. Possibly even a reflection of our society at large, “Gucci Gang” is an undeniable success no matter how you cut it.

Outside of the song itself, Lilliam Pumpernickel has also gained fans through numerous extra-musical antics including second-floor balcony jumps, a love for iCarly’s Miranda Cosgrove, and a running joke that he’s a Harvard Graduate. Essentially, he’s not afraid to be a meme, and that lack of fear makes him even stronger. Complete with his own catchphrase, there are many reasons to be entertained by Lil Pump, and all of these elements combined help explain his meteoric rise to success.

The Emergence of an Astronomical Happening

Though my numerous listens to “Gucci Gang,” I began to approach the song the same way that many others did: first with curiosity, then ironic enjoyment, then genuine adoration. I can’t stress enough that the lyrics are nothing to write home about, however one stanza in particular stands out amongst the rest like a bright, shining star:

My lean cost more than your rent, ooh (it do)

Your momma still live in a tent, yuh (brr)

Still slangin' dope in the 'jects, huh? (yeah)

Me and my grandma take meds, ooh (huh?)

These bars initially seemed like a single metaphysical barb amongst a sea of relatively-straightforward brags and boasts, so I explained them away as a one-off lyric with no deeper significance. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this line was just the tip of the iceberg.

By the time December had rolled around, “Gucci Gang” had won the honor(?) of being recognized not once, but twice in Swim Into The Sound’s 2017 Un-Awards. While part of a largely-negative post, I shined a relatively-positive light on “Gucci Gang” as my second-biggest “WTF” moment of the year (second only to Bhad Bhabie) in which I found myself surprisingly endeared to both equally-trashy artists. Later on in the proceedings, I cited the lyrics above specifically as the single “Weirdest Flex” of 2017 (barely edging out a Drake lyric about napping).

In researching the Pump-penned lines for that write-up I found myself jumping between various Genius pages and in doing so, I quickly began to uncover a conspiracy deep as the Carly Rae Jepsen Cinematic Universe: Lil Pump has an unshakable fixation with the elderly.

The Quest For A Universal Truth

It’s no secret that artists tend to use the same concepts, thoughts, and ideas over and over again throughout their work. Usually in hip-hop, these recurring topics (like drugs, money, and women for instance) are framed by using twists on conventional language that are given new meanings within the scene’s culture. From “bricks” to “bands” to “bitches” every possible theme has dozens of different synonyms that can be switched out interchangeably to keep the rhyme fresh and the topic from going stale.

However, slang goes in and out of popular vernacular like the tides of the ocean, and Monsieur Pump is not above these familiar tropes. While drugs, money, and women remain the primary topics around which Pump waves his tales, he, on more than one occasion, has used his grandma, or the grandmother of the listener as a reference point for these interests.

Of course he likes lean, and naturally, he talks about it, but what makes Pump unique is his ability to relate that commonplace idea to the elderly in a hilarious and unexpected way. He’s using age as a barometer by which to measure his own life; the elderly representing an extreme through which he can cover these well-trodden topics.

It’s quite the signature flair for a 17-year-old to brandish, but perhaps through these lines he’s revealing his own obsession with death and mortality. Maybe these grandparent-based lyrics are allowing us a brief peek into the inner machinations of Lil Pump’s mind and we are learning what troubles him on a deep, cosmic, existential level. The philosophical reaper that keeps him up at night. These lines act as an illumination of the human experience as told through the grounded eyes of one man who yells “ESKETIT” like it’s his Pokemon name. What follows is a comprehensive list of every time Little Pump has rapped about senior citizens. You are welcome.

Exhibit #1 - “Gucci Gang”

My lean cost more than your rent, ooh (it do)

Your momma still live in a tent, yuh (brr)

Still slangin' dope in the 'jects, huh? (yeah)

Me and my grandma take meds, ooh (huh?)

For the sake of completeness, we’ll begin with lyrics that started it all. The quote above comprises exactly 25% of the sole verse found on Lil Pump’s breakout hit “Gucci Gang.” In it we find Pump surveying his surroundings, living situation, and pattern of systematic drug use over a bassy beat and twinkling piano line.

First, we get the worrying comparison between the upkeep of his own opiate addiction to monthly rent, then the (uncalled for) implication that the listener’s mother is homeless, and the final cherry on top: the fact that Pump spends quality time popping pills with his grandmother. While the specifics remain vague here, it’s implied that he’s taking drugs recreationally while she is taking them for health reasons.

This being one of Pump’s numerous references to the elderly, the topic’s pervasiveness now leads me to believe that this is both a genuine lyric, as well as a thinly-veiled cry for help. As distressing as the lyric may be, at least he’s spending some quality time with his elders before they pass. Even if it’s a drug-fueled haze, I hope that both parties treasure their remaining time together and cherish each other's company.

Exhibit #2 - “Fiji”

I got Fiji on my neck

I got Gucci on my chest

And my grandma sippin' Tech

Off a Xan like Ron Artes

In this one-off Lil Pump loosie, Young Gazzy uses the artesian water brand as a descriptor for both his jewelry and his sex life. Following a similar structure as “Gucci Gang,” this track features a brief intro, and one verse sandwiched between two short choruses. Clocking in at a mere 88-seconds, “Fiji” is a striking minimalist creation that embraces reductionism and revels in ambiguity.

Within the world of hip-hop, “Water” can actually mean many things. From sex to swagger, the use of ‘water’ in-song is generally something you have to pick up from context clues, and this track is no different. In “Fiji” Pump walks a beautifully-ambiguous line between these typical definitions of earthly possessions and literal water, turning the brand’s name into a primal chant of “I pour Fiji on her neck.”

After a brief water-laced refrain, Pump proceeds into the meat of the song: a 45-word verse that discusses his public persona and ticks all of the seemingly-mandatory drug-based name-drops. He has jewelry on his neck, a Gucci logo tattooed on his chest, and most importantly the incongruous mention of his grandmother casually enjoying some hitech (aka Lean).

Perhaps elaborating on the lines of “Gucci Gang,” this lyric implies that maybe he and his grandmother both enjoy drugs on the same recreational level. Later on in the song he continues:

Slice your auntie in the neck

Lil Pump disrespect

Run up on you with that 40

Grab your grandma by the neck

After the verses earlier drug revelry, Pump seems to “set his sights” on the listener, attacking us via multiple familial ties. In a single moment of clarity he utters “Lil Pump disrespect” as if he knows what he’s doing is morally reprehensible, but remains out of his control. A haunting sentiment to say the least.

His hunger is insatiable, and your grandmother is his target. Violence is the only thing he understands, and your grandmother is the only thing he can grasp onto, both physically and metaphorically. And then, just as suddenly as the attack unfolded, the song fades into nothing, leaving the listener in the bloody aftermath.

Exhibit #3 - “Smoke My Dope”

Whippin' up dope in the trap spot (what)

Sellin' cocaine to your grandma (yuh)

Whippin' up dope in the trap spot (yuh, yuh)

Sellin' cocaine to your grandma (yuh, yuh, yuh, yuh)

In this early-album cut Lil Pump and fellow Florida rapper SmokePurpp trade verses for a compact and chaotic 2-minutes. In Garcia’s second verse he exerts himself enough to present one specific instance of creating and selling drugs over a series of escalating “yuh’s.”

In this simplistic portrayal of Pump’s supply chain, he gives his process away to the listener:

Whip up an indeterminate amount of “dope” within the “trap”

Proceed to sell that cocaine to the listener’s grandmother

Perhaps connected to the seemingly-uncalled-for violence depicted on “Fiji,” these lines seem to explain how Pump has obtained his wealth. I imagine that the elderly are comparatively easy-going when it comes to the purchase and intake of drugs, so it’s presumably easy money for Pump and a decent enough business model. Backed up by voracious twitter claims that echo the song’s lyrics, Pump has given us no reason to doubt him or his business acumen when it comes to selling the white stuff to the Greatest Generation.

Exhibit #4 - “Had”

My loud pack smell like fish tank

My backwoods filled with dumb stank

I can't fuck with you, cause I know all you ni**as stains

My grandma selling loud pack and she selling cocaine

She run up on your block and she'll shoot you in the fuckin' brain

With “Had” it seems that there’s a new wrinkle to Pump’s drug operation as it’s revealed that he’s running a family business by employing his grandmother as a key player.

Depicting his bubbe as savage and violent as himself, this example could possibly explain Pump’s own outwardly-destructive actions as a learned behavior. In portraying a systematic issue within our society, this line directly tackles how family can fail us, or lead us to repeat the same mistakes as those that came before us. It’s a tortured and agonized call for help as Pump removes himself enough to realize the trauma that he has indirectly absorbed and the conditions that he has had no choice but to grow up in.

This all said, it’s still nice that people like Pump’s grandmother can find purpose in the fast-paced working world and be driven by the fulfillment of a hard days work. The fact that she’s willing to kill on top of the drug dealing means that she’s committed to the cause, and is likely quite experienced, even in her old age. At the very least, Pump must come from good genes!

Exhibit #5 - “At The Door”

I got junkies at the door

I could serve you 2 for 4

I could serve you couple Xans

I could feed your bitch some coke

Yeah my Uzi automatic

Make your grandma do a backflip

On this mid-album cut, we see yet another allusion to the violence that Pump has inflicted upon the listener’s grandmother specifically. Perhaps wielded by Pump himself, or maybe even his grandmother (as we saw in “Had), it appears as if the drug dealing illustrated on “Smoke my Dope” has gone sideways for one reason or another, and Pump has been forced to resort to violence.

This line is actually one of the multiple familial references within this verse, the others being father, daughter, and aunt, so while this reference fits squarely in the bounds of the topic at hand, there’s no getting around the persistently-elderly angle that Pump takes.

This is yet another line later echoed in a Tweet by Pump, either lending further credence to his unfeeling savagery, or (perhaps) his commitment to our society’s collective physical fitness by inspiring the elderly to do advanced-level gymnastics.

In Conclusion

None of this was good. While Pump’s initial references to the elderly seemed to be a twisted form of mutual enjoyment, things quickly devolved into selling drugs, and eventually inflicting violence directly on the listener's grandmother.

This analysis is absolute stupidity, but I find it too amusing that a 17-year-old who has so few songs officially released has referenced the elderly half a dozen times throughout the history of his recorded work. The way I see it, there are a few explanations for this lyrical ouroboros:

It’s a creative crutch.

Lil Pump has that little to say that he keeps defaulting to “grandma.”

Deep-seated familial trauma in his own past that Pump may or may not be cognizant of.

Pump thinks that the savagery of his grandma implies, dictates, and directly translates to his own.

By “attacking” the listener and showing disregard for their loved ones, his devil-may-care attitude is preemptively deflecting any criticism they may have of Pump or his music.

Lil Pump truly does fear the uncertainty of death and projects that concern through the multiple references to the elderly in his music. 

It very well could be all or any combination of all of these, but in any case, I feel it’s safe to say that this qualifies as an unhealthy fixation. Whether it’s a profound fear of death, a thinly-veiled attempt to address his own mortality, or irreconcilable childhood trauma, I genuinely hope that Gazzy Garcia can get the help he needs to get over this mental block.

He’s still got many years ahead of him, and a full life to live. If he wants to make it to the status of “Grandpa Pump” he’ll have to overcome this irrational fear and tackle his issues head-on, or else they will continue to emerge in unhealthy ways.

Here’s to you Mr. Pump, I hope you get the help you need and deserve.

I’m sorry for writing this.