#i mean he said it pretty clearly jessica-chan what do you want him to do

[goldenlandfiascos]

gdi battler

here it comes....siiiiiiggggghhh

he means “it’s useless”

[aion-rsa]

Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid

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Since Netflix picked up Cobra Kai it’s been sweeping up viewership like Johnny on Daniel-san’s leg. When The Karate Kid debuted in 1984, it was a smash hit, delivering returns of $100 million on a modest budget of $8 million. It also earned Best Supporting Actor nominations for the late Pat Morita (Mr Miyagi) from both the Oscars and the Golden Globes. Miyagi was a crowning achievement for Morita whose career spanned 175 roles beginning in 1964. 

The Karate Kid was embraced by pop culture, redefining the martial arts genre. It had a profound effect on the practice of martial arts in the United States. The Karate Kid stands alongside Enter the Dragon and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon as a film that reshaped the way Americans viewed martial arts. Martial arts made an amazing leap, one of the largest in U.S. history, boosting the whole economy. Everyone who ran a Dojo during the mid-80s remembers what a windfall it was. 

The Karate Kid spawned three sequels, a cartoon series, a reboot, as well as several homages outside of the franchise’s canon that starred original cast members. Just like Bill and Ted Face the Music and Star Trek: Picard, the new series updates a time-honored franchise as Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) and Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) grapple with the drag of growing old along with a coming of age soap opera of the next generation. Easter eggs sell it to its loyal fanbase with nods of nostalgia while new teen characters share the spotlight to lure fresh viewership. The original cast keeps it genuine, abetted with cameos from other peripheral characters. Daniel and Johnny were career defining roles for Macchio and Zabka, something they’ve long embraced with many non-canon cameos since their last official appearance in these roles in 1989.

The Mr. Miyagi Tetralogy

The success of The Karate Kid guaranteed a sequel, so the bulk of the cast reassembled for The Karate Kid Part II two years later. It picks up immediately following the first film, in the parking lot immediately after the All-Valley Karate Tournament where Kreese (Martin Kove) punishes Johnny for losing, causing Johnny and his squad to leave Cobra Kai. However, Daniel and Johnny’s love interest, Ali (Elizabeth Shue), did not return. Ali is written out with a dismissive comment by Daniel about how she dumped him for a football player. Fans are clamoring for Shue to appear in Cobra Kai and the show references Ali repeatedly. Towards the end of Season 1, Daniel shows Johnny Ali’s Facebook revealing that she’s married and a doctor. The Karate Kid Part II, quickly narrows down to Daniel and Miyagi as they journey to Okinawa, where Daniel finds a new love interest in Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita). 

The Karate Kid Part II did better than the original, earning $115 million worldwide. While it didn’t garner any major award nominations, it was well received. Since it was set in Japan, it hasn’t been referenced much in Cobra Kai beyond when Johnny’s son Robby (Tanner Buchanan) discovers Daniel’s den-den daiko (rotating hand drum). As an interesting side note, the sequel subtly revealed Mr. Miyagi’s given name in Japanese. When Chozen (Yuji Okumoto) picks Miyagi up, his name is written in Japanese as Nariyoshi Miyagi, which is only one character different than Morita’s actual Japanese given name, Noriyuki (Nari and Nori are alternate spellings of the same character, which means ‘completed’). 

The Karate Kid Part III also picks up where Part II left off, but it drops the ball. It delivered a disappointing $38 million box office and was the final pairing of Daniel and Miyagi.  Nevertheless, it is referenced by Cobra Kai almost as much as the first film. Daniel and Miyagi return from Okinawa to find the LaRusso’s residence at South Seas complex being dismantled. The implication is that it is to be demolished, and yet it appears in “Different but the Same”, the 9th episode of Cobra Kai (why the new owners kept that painfully 80s South Seas logo is incomprehensible, but it made for a good Easter egg). Daniel’s mom, Lucille (Randee Heller) appears in Part III, who has cameos in both seasons of Cobra Kai, but she is quickly written out, sent away to take care of Daniel’s Uncle Louie (Joseph V. Perry). It’s a short scene to set up Daniel living with Miyagi, but Cobra Kai picks up on it with Louie LaRusso Jr. (Bret Ernst), a pivotal character in Season 1. 

Kreese is supplanted by his fellow Vietnam veteran, Terry Silver (Thomas Ian Griffith) and Karate’s Bad Boy Mike Barnes (Sean Kanen). Both Silver and Kanan had authentic martial arts backgrounds so this installment had the best fight choreography. Ironically, The Karate Kid has had mediocre choreography throughout the series. After the initial film, Zabka continued to train under Pat Johnson, a genuine master of the Korean martial art of Tang Soo Do. Johnson was the choreographer and played the referee for the first three films. Fans complain that in Cobra Kai, Macchio still lacks convincing martial skills (he’s had 36 years to train). However, the Season 2 finale fight in Cobra Kai redeems the franchise with a brilliantly choreographed long take scene in the center of a massive brawl.

Part III flops on several levels. The over-the-top villainy of Silver was too caricatured, complete with the hackneyed ‘bwahahaha’. Furthermore, without Shue or Tomita, there’s no romance. Robin Lively played the new girl, Jessica Andrews, but she was only 16 at the time, and while Macchio’s babyface still allowed him to play a convincing teen, he was 27 so romance with a minor wasn’t an option. Nevertheless, Cobra Kai references Miyagi and Daniel’s Bonsai tree business from Part III with a chiding comment from Daniel’s wife Amanda (Courtney Henggeler) and the special Miyagi-do Kata that Daniel learns in the threequel is the one recited repeatedly throughout the series. 

The Next Karate Kid abandoned Daniel altogether to follow Miyagi’s new pupil, Julie Pierce (Hilary Swank). Despite being a total flop critically and financially, it’s Swank’s breakout role, and her budding talent shines, although not enough to redeem the film. What’s more, Miyagi’s given name is inexplicably changed to Keisuke. The new production crew apparently could not read Japanese.

The Saturday Morning Cartoon

Before Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, kids had to wait until Saturday morning to see cartoons. The Karate Kid was a 1989 Saturday morning cartoon series on NBC. It only ran for one season – thirteen 20+ minute long episodes – with none of the original actors voicing their characters. Daniel (Joey Dedio) and Miyagi (Robert Ho) were joined by a new character, kimono-wearing Taki Tamurai (Janice Kawaye), in a series-long quest to recover a small pagoda with magical powers. Their search took them around the world – London, Paris, Hong Kong, San Francisco, New York and more – a different location for each episode. The plots were all the same: the threesome almost recovers the pagoda, only to have it slip out of their hands again until next week’s installment. Again inexplicably, Mr. Miyagi’s given name was changed to Yakuga. In Cobra Kai, it is restored to Nariyoshi on his gravestone, meaning someone finally read the Japanese in Part II. 

The Karate Kid animated series was available on several streaming networks like Netflix, Hulu and iTunes, but all those services have abandoned it. It’s a weak show. The cheap cell animation is poor quality and horribly dated. Episodes can still be found on the web, but it’s not worth the search. It’s clearly outside of canon because there’s no magic in any of the live-action movies unless you count Mr. Miyagi’s magic healing hands, parodied in the first season finale of Cobra Kai. 

That Other Karate Kid

In 2010, a The Karate Kid remake starring Jaden Smith as Dre, the new Daniel, and Jackie Chan as Mr. Han, the new Mr. Miyagi. The project was met with intense internet backlash from the start. Even Macchio jumped on the critic bandwagon at first. In an MTV interview, as reported by Digital Spy, Macchio said “It feels pretty good that some people are pretty angry that they’re trying to remake The Karate Kid. It feels good that the public feels you don’t touch certain things. Sometimes you go back to that, and probably shouldn’t.” It’s ironic in the wake of Cobra Kai, but he changed his tune soon after Will Smith called him personally to ask him to advise Jaden. “He called and said, ‘Would you mind getting on the phone with my son?’ I felt like Yoda to young Skywalker.” Macchio confessed that his initial negative reaction was said too “candidly” and endorsed the project.  As the film’s premiere approached, more reporters reached out to Macchio to get his take. The Sun asked him if he might make a cameo to which Macchio replied (again ironically), “I have less of a desire to be in it or do a cameo because no one wants to see Daniel LaRusso in his forties. It would be like robbing the Karate Kid fans of their youth for me to be in it so I think it’s best to keep it separate.” Given the success of Cobra Kai, fans clearly want to see Daniel-san pushing sixty.

Another major issue was that all Asians are not alike. Karate is a Japanese martial art. Jackie Chan is Chinese and propounds Kung Fu. In Hollywood, the whole point of a reboot is to capitalize on the brand name, but naysayers complained that Karate was the wrong title for the reboot. Jackie wouldn’t be a sensei. He’d be a sifu. The title became so contentious that even the Wall Street Journal chimed in. 

Hollywood made a quick save for the title. When Dre’s mother Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) asks Dre about his ‘Karate,’ he replies, “It’s not Karate, mom.” The scene was strategically included in a Cinemark ‘First Look.’ And the title was changed for the Chinese market to Gongfu Meng (Kung Fu Dream). The Karate Kid was never released in theatrically China just like some 80+ Jackie Chan films were never released theatrically in the west so the brand name had no value. The Chinese version also added a finale fight where Han fights Li (Yu Rongguang), this version’s Kreese.

Jaden’s The Karate Kid is a complete reimagining of the story, like the Kelvin timeline in Star Trek or the Flashpoint timeline in DC comics. With a budget of $40 million, it earned $359 million worldwide making it the most financially successful installment yet. Naturally, talk of a sequel has been discussed, however last year, Jackie Chan said that any statements claiming that he would participate The Karate Kid 2 or Rush Hour 4 were “false”.

Beyond the Karate Kid Canon

Over the years, Macchio, Zabka and Kove have appeared in homages and parodies of the franchise. In 2003, Macchio and Zabka played themselves on How I Met Your Mother.  The episode ‘The Bro Mitzvah’ was about Barney’s (Neil Patrick Harris) bachelor party where he wanted to have the hero of The Karate Kid attend, so his friends arrange for Macchio to join the festivities. However, in Barney’s perspective, Johnny is the real hero. This ‘Barney wax on’ viewpoint is held by many fans, akin to the ‘Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord’ theory of Star Wars. In the Cobra Kai episode ‘Molting’ Johnny explains his take on the events in The Karate Kid. Technically speaking, Daniel’s winning crane kick should’ve disqualified him because strikes to the face are illegal. Daniel steals Ali and provokes Johnny, drenching him in the bathroom while he’s trying to roll a joint. 

For something completely different, an unauthorized musical spoof of The Karate Kid played at the off-Broadway Teatro la Tea in 2004. It’s Karate, Kid! The Musical featured Daniel-san, Johnny, Mr. Miyagi and Ali but Cobra Kai was replaced with the Bitchkicks. The show featured songs like “Damn You, Daniel-san”, “Wax On! Wax Off!”, and “The Way of Fisting”. 

In 2007, Macchio and Zabka reprised their iconic roles for the music video ‘Sweep the Leg’ by No More Kings. In the video, Zabka is a has-been living in a trailer watching The Karate Kid every day with his Cobra Kai buddies. Spliced with clips from the film, all the original Cobra Kai squad appears, Kreese, Jimmy (Tony O’Dell), Bobby (Ron Thomas) and Tommy (Rob Garrison). Even the South Seas condos are shown. Zabka wrote and directed the video. 

In another 2010 parody, Macchio plays himself in Funny or Die’s ‘Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio’. Haunted by being typecast as squeaky-clean Daniel, Macchio struggles to sully his image to get more work in Hollywood. When Macchio tries to pick up a prostitute, she tells him to come back when he’s 18, to which he retorts ‘I’m 48!’ Molly Ringwald appears claiming that Macchio wanted to change the name of the Brat Pack to the Smile Bunch. There’s a reference to Jaden’s reboot too. 

Kove dove into replaying Kreese in 2011 with Comedy Central’s Tosh.0. In a segment called Web Redemption, host Daniel Tosh mocks a viral video by Josh Plotkin where he tries to break a board over his head. Kove and Ron Thomas appear in Cobra Kai gis in a breaking competition with a scoreboard that echoes the All-Valley Karate Tournament. And just last year, Kove donned Cobra Kai colors again for a QuickBooks ad in which he blames his aggressive teaching style on stress caused by not being able to manage his school’s finances. He drops comments like “Support the leg” and “More mercy” and goes so far to change the name of Cobra Kai to Koala Kai.

Cobra Kai is exactly where it needs to be on Netflix. The series is beautifully written and performed, coupling drama and comedy with bumps of action, all within bite-sized 20+ minute episodes. As its fan base continues to expand, so does anticipation for Season 3. And please, bring back Ali. Can’t Shue can take a break from The Boys? The final scene of Season 2 is such a tease, and after all that Johnny has been through in this series, he deserves a little mercy. 

Season 1 and 2 of Cobra Kai are now available on Netflix. Season 3 premieres on Netflix in 2021.

The post Cobra Kai and the Legacy of The Karate Kid appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[lilacmoon83]

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 90: Prelude to the Storm

"Mmm...wow, you have to try that," Neal said, as he took another bite of his meal. Emma speared a shrimp and ate it, finding it to be as delicious as he said.

"Wow...that's really good," she agreed.

"And how is everything?" Tiana asked, as she and Naveen visited the table.

"Really good," Neal complimented.

"Culinary genius," Emma added, making the couple almost giddy at the praise.

"I'm totally making my parents come here on their next date night," she praised.

"Thank you...we're glad you enjoyed it and we will not turn down the buzz that semi-famous customers like you two and your parents will create," Naveen replied.

"I think famous is a little strong, but hey if us coming here gets you more business, then that's a good thing," she agreed.

"Well, thank you. How are they doing anyway? We heard about what those people did," Tiana said gently. Emma smiled at their concern.

"They're okay...I worry about them, but love always seems like it's enough to get them through anything," she replied. The other couple smiled.

"Your parent's true love is an inspiration and I hope these outsiders find their way out of town for good," Tiana mentioned.

"You and me both," Emma agreed, as they settled the check and then started walking through town.

"So...not bad for a first date that's not a first date," he joked, as he nudged her playfully. She smiled at him.

"Yeah...it beats the old days when we were knocking off convenience stores and holing up in other people's motel rooms," she agreed. He chuckled.

"Yeah...I miss the kid though," he said. She smiled.

"Me too...guess that's the sign we've made it, huh?" she asked. He nodded.

"So...does that mean I can ask you out again?" he inquired.

"You know...I thought tonight was going to be awkward and weird, but it wasn't. It was new, but it was also familiar and comfortable...I'm not sure I expected that," she mentioned.

"So...is that good?" he asked. She smiled and answered him by pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Does that spell it out for you?" she asked coyly.

"I don't know...maybe you could spell it out some more?" he asked. She chuckled and shoved him playfully, before they kissed again, this time with a lot more heat.

"Yeah...that spelled it pretty good," he agreed, as they shared another smile, just as they saw his father's car pull up, with Belle in the passenger seat and Eli in the backseat. Which was weird. But even stranger was the truck and trailer following them. In the cab was her parents and Persephone.

"Hey guys...what's going on?" Emma asked, as they all got out.

"We found it...the magic," David said, as he hugged her.

"Uh...that's great. Where though? I thought they would have left Storybrooke with it," Emma replied.

"They did," Belle confirmed and her eyes widened.

"You two left Storybrooke without me?" she questioned in concerned.

"Yes...and that's not all that happened. But first, we need to hide the cube for now," Persephone interjected.

"Okay...let's do that first and you two can talk while we do," Emma said.

"You're not going to like any of it," Snow warned.

"Clearly," Emma responded.

"Wait...you and Belle went to?" Neal asked his father, who looked guilty.

"Bae…" he started to say, but Neal put his hand up.

"Save it...let's just hide the magic for now. I actually like the fact that Cronus and everyone else have no magic right now and I think we should keep it that way," he

agreed, as he and Emma got in the car and they proceeded to the library.

~*~

Circe angrily slammed the car door, as she arrived at the cabin. She had been called by one of her top operatives, the former soldier, and saw him wince as she stormed up to him. He was an imposing figure and his background in the marines had led her to choose him to lead her followers. But in reality, he was just the head sheep, leading her other sheep. He had once been Captain Dylan Channing in the United States Marines. He had served two tours in Afghanistan, but his experiences there had only amplified character flaws he had suffered with all his life. His anger had led him to outbursts and the determination by his superiors that he was a danger to the innocent locals that they were there to try and protect.

After several infractions, Channing was dishonorably discharged and became homeless when he returned to the states. He had undiagnosed post traumatic stress syndrome, was chronically paranoid, and had been ripe for Circe's picking. His experience as a marine made him an excellent enforcer in her operation and his weak mind allowed Circe to control him completely.

"What the hell happened?" she demanded to know.

"I got a text earlier from Kevin, requesting that I come here to help bury bodies. I'm not sure who he planned to have me help bury, but the bodies we have found are Kevin and Jessica instead," he reported, as he swallowed thickly.

"And the cube?" she asked in a measured tone.

"It's gone," he answered.

"Dammit...I ordered them to take this to the base in New York!" she screamed.

"We can use this with the other followers though. If it was Snow White and her husband that killed Jessica and Kevin, it can further our narrative that they are evil. We can get our people to riot against them," he projected.

"They have the magic! It will not matter what we do without that magic!" she ranted, as she examined the bodies that he and the others had gathered.

Kevin had clearly been stabbed through the heart, probably by the Prince if she had to guess and that would make sense if he was threatening Charming's precious Snow White. But Jessica was horribly and badly burned, almost beyond recognition. And that was a curious thing to her. Obviously there hadn't been a fire of any sort. There was no evidence or damage to indicate that. And there was only one other way she knew of that would cause burning like this. Lightning. And as far as she was aware, there had been no thunderstorms in the area, though the wet soil was indicative that there had been a weather event here. An unnatural one. One that had been created by a God...or Goddess. Whether or not it was deliberate or inadvertent, she didn't know. But it was definitely cause for concern. Even with all her advanced tech that she had created to combat magic, going against a God head on was very risky.

"Take care of the bodies and then join me back in Storybrooke. We have a ball to attend tomorrow night," she announced, as she went back to her car. If the heroes wanted to play that way, then she'd continue to be a thorn in their side.

~*~

"What?!" Emma exclaimed, as Snow and David winced in response.

"Princess…" David started to say.

"Oh no...don't Princess me, Dad. I can't believe you guys were so reckless!" she cried.

"We're really sorry honey. We had no idea it was going to escalate like that," Snow pleaded.

"She's right. You know that if I had an inkling that it would that I would have never let your mother near it, especially in her condition," David added. Emma sighed.

"I know you two don't mean to get into trouble like this, but you always do. I can't lose you guys!" she exclaimed.

"I just got you," she added and with that, they melted and hugged her between them, with David cradling her head.

"We're sorry...scaring you was the last thing we wanted to do," Snow said.

"Just promise me that you won't leave Storybrooke again without me, even if it's only a few miles away," she pleaded.

"We promise," David agreed. Neal sighed and looked at his father.

"Bae…" he started to say.

"You know I should yell at you for being so reckless, right?" he asked.

"And you would have every right," Rumple started to say, but was surprised when Neal simply hugged him fiercely, making Belle smile.

"You do something idiotic like that again and I'm going to go off on you like a bomb," he warned. Rumple eventually got over his shock and hugged him back.

"Fair enough," he choked out. With that, they opened the trailer, while Neal and David did the heavy lifting, carrying the containment cube into the library. They waited for the elevator and Emma operated it, as they took the cube down below to hide it. Once they did, she brought them back up and Snow was ready to help her mother search for Hades.

"Let's go…" Snow suggested, but Persephone did not move.

"It's too dark and we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. We can search in the morning, but we should all be well rested for the ball," she suggested instead.

"I can have the dwarves do a night patrol," David offered.

"If you think it might help," Persephone replied.

"Can't hurt," David said, as he made the call.

"Are you sure, mother?" Snow asked. She nodded.

"Daylight is going to yield more results. All of you...go on home," she urged.

"Aren't you coming?" Snow asked.

"No...I need to tell Mother what happened out there today," Persephone replied.

"You mean with the lightning?" Snow asked. She nodded.

"I'll be fine, snowdrop and with the assistance of the other Gods, we'll find Hades in the morning," she assured, as David returned and put his arm around Snow.

"Leroy and Happy are going to run patrol and look tonight," he said. She smiled at her son-in-law.

"Thank you David," she said, as they all left the library for the night. In addition to locking the library doors, they had padlocked the elevator. James was also going to be getting there soon to guard the elevator on the night shift, while Robert would be taking the day shift. And for now, they had to hope it would be enough to hide the magic until they figured out if returning it to the town would be for the best.

When they arrived home, they bid their daughter goodnight and it was less than two seconds after Emma's door shut that they were peeling clothing away with desperate need. But they also both needed a shower after all the mud and rain, so that's where they ended up.

~*~

Steam billowed around them and hot water beaded on their naked bodies, as they quite literally fucked each other. Slow, languid lovemaking would likely come later in bed, but what they were doing now could only be described as fucking, as he pounded his hard cock into her trembling body, which he had pinned against the shower wall. And to accompany that were Snow's wanton screams and his husky growls.

"Charming…" she cried desperately, as her legs remained folded around him and she grazed her teeth along his neck, until she felt herself being pushed closer and closer.

"Baby…" she whimpered, as her back arched in an erotic bow and her head lolled back. She shuddered and writhed around him, before crying out loudly as she orgasmed like a storm. Her coming was as powerful as ever and he plunged deeply inside her, searching for his own until he could hold back no longer and found completion. They managed to finish their sensual shower, as they enjoyed washing each other, and took great pleasure in making out the rest of the time, until the water went cold.

They toweled off and made their way to the bed behind the curtain. Then it came as no surprise, as their towels were discarded and an entirely new bout of sexual euphoria began. She backed herself onto the bed, allowing him a full view of her naked body and her a view of his. Her eyes locked on the considerable length between his legs that was quickly getting hard again, as he stared at her with a mix of love and lust in his eyes. He climbed onto the bed with her, hovering above her and love and lust was mirrored in her eyes. She climbed into his lap and locked her arms around his neck, as he slid her onto his hard cock. She mewled pleasurably at him finally being inside her again and they began to rock together. He gripped her hips and helped her to ride him in an undulating rhythm. Their lips met in short pecks in between impassioned gasps, as they made love again, desperately needing each other. Climaxes raged between them again, as they fell to the bed after, boneless and sated, entwined thoroughly in each other's arms, limbs tangled beneath the sheets, and eternally in love.

~*~

Circe arrived back at camp with Captain Channing, who with the assistance of his operatives, were bringing Kevin and Jessica's bodies back.

"Followers!" she called their attention.

"A great blow has been dealt to us today!" she announced, as they revealed Jessica and Kevin's bodies to them. There were gasps of horror and shouts of outrage.

"Snow White and her Prince have killed them!" she told them. There were more cries of outrage.

"As if we needed more evidence that the Princess of the Underworld is an abomination and her husband is as evil as she is. They killed our people, while they seek to bring another demon child into this world!" Captain Channing added, further riling them up.

"Tonight we mourn our fallen and cremate them in a ceremony of honor," she announced.

"Then tomorrow, we rally and show them our wrath!" she added, as they rallied around with cries of righteous indignation.

~*~

Yesterday had started out normal, devolved into another harrowing experience for them, and ended thankfully with their incredible love winning out again. So it came as no surprise to Snow that her morning sickness was plaguing her with a vengeance that morning. She finished and flushed the contents away, as she started brushing her teeth.

"Will you please let me have your mother call Artemis?" David asked from the door.

"Charming...I'm fine," she mumbled through the toothpaste in her mouth, before spitting and rinsing.

"It's just morning sickness...completely normal," she insisted, as she padded back to their makeshift bedroom. He sighed.

"Yes, but we went through hell yesterday and stress that was really bad for you and the baby," he reminded. She sighed.

"Please…" he pleaded and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine...we can go see Artemis, but only because it's on the way to the warehouse where we need to pick out our attire for tonight," she agreed. He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Good...let me make you breakfast," he suggested.

"Baby, I just puked my guts out," she reminded.

"So pancakes?" he asked, as she felt her stomach growl. Damn pregnancy. And his innate ability to know everything she needed or wanted, even before she did.

"With strawberries, chocolate whipped cream, and bacon," she agreed, causing him to laugh all the way to the kitchen. If there was ever a definition of domestic bliss, it was definitely them.

~*~

"What do you think?" Zelena asked, as she modeled the black gown with green embroidery in the mirror.

"The green accents suit you. Since there's always green bleeding just beneath your skin," Hades quipped, as he stared at the ceiling in the cage. She smirked.

"Good to know that captivity hasn't stolen your wit," she responded.

"Envy will be your undoing, my dear," he warned and she scoffed.

"And you going soft has already been yours," she retorted, as Hermes descended into the cellar.

"Oh look...your scum sucking worm has returned," Hades deadpanned.

"Your betrayal of me won't go unpunished when I sit upon Zeus' Throne," Hermes shot back.

"Funny you throw the word betrayal around," Hades quipped.

"I prefer to see myself as an opportunist," Hermes replied.

"Opportunist….diseased maggot...it's hard to tell from here," Hades retorted. Hermes snapped and reached for Hades through the bars, grabbing him by the collar. But the former God of the Underworld was un-bothered by Hermes' attempt at a show of intimidation.

"This is who you are choosing to help you succeed?" Hades questioned her.

"When I sit upon the Throne, I shall make you regret tossing me away like trash when I force Persephone to marry me," he threatened.

"You're not fit to shine her shoes, let alone be in her presence. She'll never marry you," he hissed. But Hermes smirked.

"If I dangle the life of her precious little Snow in front of her...she'll do anything," he taunted. Hades clenched his teeth.

"When we go back in time...there is no way for any of us to control what may happen once time is reset. But I assure you...I will remember you and I will squish you like the worm you are," he promised.

"Enough!" Zelena growled. Hermes released him and shoved him back.

"Well...why are you here? I assume you have news or else you'd be stupid to come," she demanded.

"Persephone and her precious Charmings have the containment cube. They hid it beneath the library. The elevator is padlocked and they have a round the clock patrol on that elevator," he reported.

"Tricky...but not impossible to get around," Zelena replied.

"Though it is quite curious that they did not release the magic inside the containment cube and return magic to the town," she added.

"Cronus' ball is tonight. I believe they fear his intentions and have decided that taking magic out of the equation is in everyone's best interest until they know more about his motives," Hermes reported.

"Yes...they fear Cronus. But it is me they shall soon fear," she said, as she opened up a jewelry box and took out her green pendant that had once been gifted to her by the other witches of Oz. It was all she needed to absorb all the magic in that cube.

"It's time to enact my spell...and Cronus' ball is the perfect stage for my rise to power and the fall of the heroes…" she said.

"Zelena...don't do this…" he pleaded, but she ignored him and hung up an outfit beside his cage. It was male formal wear, a black tunic, black leather pants, and boots. The black was accented with sky blue accents and embroidery.

"Time to get you dressed for the ball as well, my dear Hades. You'll be part of my...captive audience," she hissed, as he glowered at her with daggers in his eyes.

~*~

"Everything looks good," Artemis reported, as she finished Snow's exam.

"Told you," Snow said to her husband. He smiled and kissed her hair.

"Be that as it may, my darling...you know I'll never stop worrying about your safety and well-being," he replied. She smiled and kissed him.

"I know," she said affectionately.

"It's a little early, but I got a lot of the equipment working. We could do an ultrasound if you want," Artemis said. Snow and David looked at her and then at Persephone. The Goddess smiled.

"I think we'd all love that," Snow agreed. Artemis nodded and prepared everything for the test. Snow lay back, while David and Persephone each held one of her hands, as Artemis rubbed the solution on her belly.

The machine whirred to life, as Artemis operated it and an image appeared on the screen.

"It's a bit too early to tell sex...but there he or she is," she said, as she pointed out the fetus on the screen. Snow and David were stunned to speechlessness, as they stared at the screen.

"Oh Snow…" he uttered, as they stared at their tiny baby. Snow looked at him, as tears streamed down her cheeks and he pressed a kiss to her lips. As their lips parted, their faces were full of pure joy.

"I love you so much…" he said, as a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I love you…" she replied, as they kissed again. Artemis and Persephone smiled, as the former operated the equipment and printed copies of the sonogram.

"By the next one in a few weeks, we'll be able to tell the sex of the baby. But for now, these are for you," she said, handing them the photos. Persephone hugged them both.

"We'll give you a few minutes alone and to get dressed," she said, as the two women stepped out.

"Oh David…" Snow gushed, as she was unable to tear her eyes away from the photo in her hand. His face was a contagious grin and he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Is this real?" she asked wistfully.

"Yes...this is real, my darling. This is our baby…" he replied, as they kissed again.

"What if it happens again, Charming?" she feared.

"It won't...we won't let it. There is no way that me or your mother are going to let anyone rip this baby away from us this time," he promised.

"The Swans are dead...and Circe's followers won't succeed. I don't want to, but if I have to do to them what I did to Kevin Swan...I will," he confessed. She cupped his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly.

"Now...let's get you dressed and get ready for this ball tonight, so I can make it clear to everyone in this town that they will not hurt this family," he said. She smiled and got dressed, as they left the makeshift hospital with Persephone in tow. There was still no sign of Hades and Persephone was now deeply worried. She would have resumed searching, but at this point she thought it was going to the ball might yield more clues to Hades' whereabouts. She didn't know if Cronus was involved, but she wasn't going to be surprised if he was.

In the past, she might have found his sudden disappearance suspicious and might even think he was doing something deceitful. But that definitely was not what this was. He had changed too much and as skeptical of those changes as she had been at first, she now knew the changes were sincere. She felt the changes in him in his presence and his aura. She had, for the very first time in their very long marriage, felt love in his kiss. Add to that, he had now saved Snow and David's lives numerous times and she was no longer convinced that he might have ulterior motives behind that. He was a changed man and she somehow wondered if that now had something to do with his disappearance. Despite having changed, the list of enemies her husband had was very long and some were right here in Storybrooke. She was, against all odds and past history, in love with him. She knew that now and was able to admit that now that he was missing, which made her even more anxious about everything. She felt that there was something big on the cusp, but for the life of her, she couldn't discern what exactly it was. All she could do for now was go to this ball tonight, in order to safeguard her family, and hopefully uncover clues as to what had happened to Hades.

~*~

Cronus stood on his balcony of his palace, overlooking the quaint, mystical town of Storybrooke. He had mostly kept to himself since his arrival and was more than a little perturbed when magic was stolen by Circe's interference. He fully expected her to show up tonight with her sheep and fully expected her to come to him to make some kind of deal with him. But he wanted no deals that involved her band of sheep that followed her. If he found that she could be of use to him, then he would use her.

But the real prize was keeping one little family in his sights and convincing them that he was not the enemy. In his past, he had feared magic and power. He had devoured his own children out of fear of their power. But he would not make that mistake this time.

With Zeus gone, he believed he could once again become the supreme God and ruler. But he needed the favor of the people to get that and that was the reason for all this, especially now with no magic was present.

Persephone had favor with the other Gods and the Charmings had favor with the people. Courting them was important to his ultimate plan and for once, he was playing the long game. His path to ultimate power would be a long one and when he finally did achieve what he wanted, they would have long ago labeled him a non-threat.

Without magic though the last few days, he had been at a serious disadvantage to all that had been going on and that is why he sent Phobos out to gather Intel.

"What do you have to report?" he asked, as his new loyal right hand returned.

"Much," Phobos stated.

"Snow White and her husband were nearly killed by Circe's idiotic followers, but thankfully, they survived, while two of the perpetrators did not," he reported.

"How were they killed?" he asked curiously.

"It appears the man was killed by being stabbed, most likely by a sword. I'd venture a guess that the Prince killed him in protecting his beloved. But the woman...is what concerns me," Phobos responded.

"How so?" Cronus asked.

"She died after being struck by lightning. There was a storm up on that mountain...and I do not believe it was natural," Phobos answered.

"What are you saying?" Cronus requested.

"I fear that Zeus' ultimate power has already chosen a new host," Phobos stated.

"That's...unfortunate. Do you believe you know who?" he asked.

"I believe it's Persephone," Phobos replied.

"Then that makes things far more complicated," Cronus said, obviously troubled by this.

"I think we can still use this to our advantage," Phobos responded.

"How so?" he asked.

"Let me endear myself the Persephone and the Charmings. I am the brother that was sacrificed to bring Deimos back. Whatever relationship Persephone has now with Hades cannot escape that fact, even if she has forgiven him and he has changed," Phobos replied.

"You think they will not be threatened by you?" he asked. Phobos smirked.

"I am the God of fear...which is different that terror. My brother is the embodiment of terror, but fear works very differently. I am almost positive that my idiotic, brute of a brother will approach Snow White this evening. He won't be able to help himself. Let me step in and defend the Charmings against him," he said.

"Are you going to actually goad your brother into attacking you?" Cronus asked. Phobos smirked.

"I am not thrilled about that prospect, but it would provide me an in with them and on your behalf," he offered.

"That is very loyal of you, Phobos, but I am no fool. Tell me what you get from this?" he questioned.

"Your rule means my prosperity, my Lord. And if that leads to me being my brother's ultimate demise, after I torment him for my own amusement, then that will be icing on the cake," Phobos responded.

"All right...I will allow this. But Persephone having the power that is rightfully mine is still a glaring problem," Cronus reminded.

"And when the time is right, we will force her to relinquish the power to you. There are ways. Trust in me, My Lord, and you will eventually be the supreme God," Phobos promised.

"Then we will both have our revenge," Cronus agreed, as they witnessed the people of Storybrooke begin to flock to his palace, dressed for that evening's Grand Ball...

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 9 (Part 2) & 10

Love Trial time! (warning: this is not a very good post, honestly. Ep6 is proving to be a struggle to write posts about, even this late into it...)

Eva and George are... in front of the mansion, I think? Eva’s clearly not happy with George and Shannon getting engaged, unsurprisingly.

Oh wait, no, they’re in front of the guesthouse, actually. CLOSE ENOUGH

“...Did you sleep with her? She told you she was pregnant to force you into a marriage, didn’t she?!” fucking OUCH

George states that he’s “a strong believe that chastity is to be preserved before marriage.” That matches up with their date in Ep2, so...

Eva asks why they got engaged, and George replies, “I asked her. She accepted. What more could be needed?” Eva disagrees, of course.

“What about her parents? Relationships between the two families? Are you some stray alley cat, or are you Ushiromiya George?!” Even putting aside the dramatic irony of this statement, it’s... interesting. I’m guessing Eva’s just talking in terms of general issues, as opposed to issues with Shannon x George.

George states his desire to “build his own country and castle from scratch” like Hideyoshi did, and Eva angrily replies that it wasn’t easy, and he was “often saved by luck and coincidence”. George replies, “And he got through it because he had a wonderful life partner by his side... you. Sayo is the kind of person who’ll support me and make me be reborn as an even stronger man. You’ve praised me for becoming the adult that I am, but that could never have happened without her.” Tohya loves Yasu, writes love letter to her in form of his forgeries, etc.

Eva asks if he plans on “betraying the feelings” of a woman they met with at a marriage meeting. He replies that even though the two of them went out (due to their - or at least his - parents’ insistence), they “never even looked at each other.” Eva objects, and George replies, “You want me to marry her because it will benefit you. You aren’t pushing that engagement for the sake of anyone but yourself.” SHOTS FUCKING FIRED

Eva starts crying and screaming about how she and Hideyoshi have always been thinking about what’s “best for George.” “If I didn’t care for you, we wouldn’t be having this fight! [...] Don’t worry, we won’t do anything bad to Shannon-chan. After all, it’s thanks to her that you’ve grown so much... We won’t forget that. So leave the rest to us... George...”

George turns his back, seemingly torn on what to do, then says, “Alright. I think that’s enough. All my life, you’ve done a great job raising me, and I’m grateful for that. When I have children and become a parent... I’ll become a parent like you. I’ll be the kind of parent most worthy of respect in the entire world, one who can truly fight for his children’s sake.”

“I think it’s about time you learned... to let go of your son, Mother.”

“Let’s forget that you’re my parent and let our true intentions ring clear... The reason you want to choose the person I marry... is for financial reasons, public appearances, and... so that you can posture in that still-continuing quarrel between you and your siblings. You have no other reason.” I’d forgotten just how few fucks George gives in this scene, damn. He declares that she’s “a wall, a trial, standing in the way of the future he’s trying to grasp.” “Now I’ll overcome the final barrier... you!!”

EVATRICE TIMEEEEEEEE

I don’t really have a lot to say about this sequence, other than yay fantasy battles.

Having said that - After getting beaten around a bit (okay, a lot), George stands up, saying, “I cannot count the number of things I’ve learned from Sayo. She taught me... courage and chivalry, how to be ambitious and witty and humorous, and just a little stylish. It’s ironic... Almost all of the things you say are so wonderful about me... didn’t come from you at all.”

A bit more fantasy battle (now with martial arts!), and George kills Evatrice... then straightens his glasses and says, “I know you’re somewhere over there, Gaap.” lol

“I have something to ask of you.” Gaap responds kinda flippantly, and George’s response... well: “The threat in his voice held the solemn presence of a king who could control demons. That presence made Gaap gulp, and she licked her lips before bowing respectfully to his back.” I don’t remember the parallels between George and Kinzo being commented on much outside of Ep4, so this is pretty interesting, to say the least.

“I like hot guys, but I like monarchs even more.” lol gaap

At George’s request, she moves Eva’s body to the VIP room in the mansion, and leaves Evatrice’s staff behind. George steps on it to launch it into the air, and catches it in his hand, whereupon it disperses into gold butterflies. GETTING A LOT OF EP4 VIBES HERE

In the gameboard meta, George declares his “part” to be over, and Jessica is shocked that he decided to go after Eva for the love trial. 

He replies, “It’s the person who loves you first in the world... and the last one you have to separate yourself from. ...That’s what it means to leave your home. This is the courage I need to show to take Sayo as my wife.” 

Ah, right, the nature of the trial is mentioned here. “So that the love of the pair will stand true, offer up the life of one person by your own hands.”

The narrative compares it to Beato’s test in Ep4, which is... interesting! I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I suppose it kinda is similar, just with “your own life” and “your lover’s life” automatically excluded (well, except in Battler’s case, but).

“For the versions of themselves to whom the game board was the only world, this was a tragic parricide... but to these ones who stood around the game board in this witch’s smoking room, it was nothing more than a movement of the pieces, representing George’s will to overcome his parents.” meta gonna meta

After a moment’s hesitation (during which Zepar and Furfur almost declare George and Shannon the winners), Jessica volunteers to go next. “Alright, I’ll do it... I’ll show you that I’m serious about Kanon-kun!!”

Meanwhile, during a break in the family conference, Kyrie’s wandered off to a hallway on the second floor of the mansion. “I need to regain my spirit and support my husband, even if I’m not allowed to speak. ...That’s the duty I’ve won.”

HI JESSICA

Ooh, that’s interesting. Jessica decided to basically wander around the mansion and kill the first person she runs into, and Furfur describes it as “Jessica’s roulette of fate.” battler u aren’t a very subtle writer are u

...Though she’s still not committed to actually going through with killing anyone, so she ends up asking Kyrie for advice. “Sounds nasty... Love that can only succeed by using the others as a footstool.”

“I think I see where you’re going with this... Something like this, right? ‘How far is a person allowed to take advantage of others to find happiness’?” Ooof. That’s... painfully accurate - not for Jessica, but for Yasu. The question she’s constantly asking herself, wracked with guilt over being torn between George, Shannon, and Battler...

...Though, granted, Yasu’s circumstances are a bit different to Jessica’s here, but.

And then the music cuts out, as Kyrie tells Jessica that, as painful as it might be to have to cut short George and Shannon’s relationship, not fighting for her own love will be even worse.

Ange cuts in, mentioning finding Kyrie’s notebook sometime after the incident. “It was... practically a book of curses... it cleared up several questions I had vaguely felt back when I was six.”

“When I was six, it seemed as though my parents were very close and had no problems. ...And though I thought it odd that Onii-chan lived separately even though he was in our family, I accepted it as the way things were.”

As was shown in Ep5, it’s explained that Kyrie was effectively Rudolf’s “business partner.” “Though she served as Dad’s right-hand person, she slyly got rid of the other women in the shadows... It was only a matter of time before Mom would succeed in her love.”

Kyrie explains to Jessica that Asumu showed up, and was “good at triggering Rudolf’s protective instinct.” “Bit by bit, Rudolf had started to need a woman who could stay quiet and soothe him... without making him think about anything complicated.”

“I am ruthless and intellectual. Rational and economical. ...In a plank of Carneades situation, I would push the other person off without hesitating. ...I thought that was the kind of partner suitable for him.” kyrie gonna kyrie

“Yes, I did get the position of his business partner... But before I knew it, Rudolf-san had grown a need for a mental partner, someone who could heal his heart. Though I foolishly claimed to be the intellectual one, I never noticed.”

And then both Kyrie and Asumu became pregnant, though Kyrie wasn’t even aware of it herself until after Rudolf and Asumu had already gotten married. “Once she got her hands on Rudolf-san, she didn’t let go.”

Kyrie reflects that she at least wanted Rudolf to acknowledge her child - which he was apparently willing to do, going as far as visiting her in the hospital even though Asumu was giving birth on the same day. She calls him an awful man, and... I can’t say I really disagree, to be honest!

Except... she supposedly ended up having a stillbirth instead, while Asumu gave birth to Battler. In hindsight, the answer’s literally right there, isn’t it? We get it stated in red in Ep4 that Asumu isn’t Battler’s blood mother, and both here and in Ep3 it’s stated that Kyrie and Asumu had the same delivery date. Coupled with how strongly Battler and Ange resemble each other... yeah.

“Kyrie had fallen from Rudolf’s partner to his second wife... and then, unable to even give birth to the bond of a child... she tumbled down... to merely being his mistress. I can’t imagine... how much she must’ve hated Asumu and that kid... Battler.” Ange mentions that she was (understandably) shocked to find out just how much Kyrie likely hated Battler.

Back on the board, Kyrie tells Jessica that she only regrets one thing. “It’s my arrogance I regret. ‘Rudolf-san is already mine, so I’m completely safe... I’ll never lose to that Asumu girl.’”

Kyrie warns Jessica against being naive about her love, and that the regrets she’ll have if she doesn’t take it seriously enough “will make her crawl through hell.” Jessica is, understandably, speechless upon hearing of how harsh the “true form of love” is.

“Right now... I would do anything to keep Rudolf-san by my side. [...] If he wished it, I might not even hesitate at murder.” KYRIE GONNA KYRIE

Aaaand Kyrie flat-out says that she would’ve killed Asumu herself, if she hadn’t died on her own. Battler, are you having fun writing your mother like this...?

Kyrie laughs a bit and apologizes, not meaning to scare Jessica like she had. BIT LATE FOR THAT I THINK

“I don’t know what your love has been like, Jessica-chan... but if you have a rival and neither is willing to back down, you can’t let yourself become complacent. If you do, you’ll end up like me.”

“...For the sake of love, a woman should be willing to kill at least once in her life.” KYRIE NO

“Love really is like playing with fire. Anyone can play easily and lightheartedly... but when you mess up and get burned, that scar stays with you your whole life.”

I just want to let that line stand on its own.

Kyrie turns to leave, wishing Jessica good luck... and narrowly avoids getting her face smashed in. She’s quite nonchalant about Jessica trying to kill her, but... y’know, Kyrie. Who’s surprised at this point?

“Come now. If you had come from the guesthouse to get a book from your room, you wouldn’t have come through this hallway in that direction.” kyrie holmes

More fantasy battles, now with math! I do find it interesting, though, that George and Jessica ask for help from Gaap and Ronove, respectively, given Ep4.

At any rate, Jessica kills Kyrie in Krauss’s study, gets angry at Zepar and Furfur, etc. etc... And starts crying as she asks Kanon if she did anything wrong. Jessica...

Elder joins in on complimenting her. “Very impressive, Jessica! That ‘closed room murder’ just now was wonderful enough to fascinate even a witch like myself.”

Zepar and Furfur dance around a bit again. “Come, speak up!! Who is next?! Who will take the next trial?!”

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 8 & 9 (Part 1)

“think of her as my daughter” “is it okay if i date her then” “what” “what”

The chapter opens on Kumasawa and Chick in... Uh, Battler’s meta-study? I guess? who even knows anymore

The two of them set out a plate of cookies for Battler. D’aww.

In, uh... i don’t even know anymore but at any rate, Elder comments on Chick “sparing no efforts for the sake of her beloved Father.” Yasu really, truly loved Battler, didn’t she...

“To think that I would give Battler cookies... Why should I, the ruler of the night, do so much for a guest who comes so rarely?” lol

Ooof, and then Battler returns, clearly not too happy to see Chick and Kumasawa there. Kumasawa explains that Chick baked the cookies on the table for him as a gift.

“Battler looked at the plate on the study desk that was piled up with beautiful cookies... and the message card of encouragement lying next to it, and his face twisted with a complex expression, which might have had traces of both sadness and anger contained within it...”

He does thank her for the gift, but goes on to say he “doesn’t like sweets.” “I am grateful for her feelings. ...I’m in the middle of a vital game right now. This is the final game... and it’s vital both for me... and Beato as well. So please. Try not to trouble me any more than is necessary.”

Kumasawa balks and tries convincing Battler to at least try one, clearly quite upset about it. “Master, do you think there might be poison inside them!?”

“...Yeah. If Beato ever came to give me cookies... Of course I’d think that she’d put some kind of crazy poison in them...” I can’t help but feel sympathetic for both of them, here. Battler’s wracked with guilt over the end of the last game and what he did to Beato, and Chick doesn’t understand what she’s done wrong (because she hasn’t, really) to warrant the cold treatment he’s giving her... It’s really sad.

In Featherine’s study, Ange seems unsure of what to think. “I don’t have a clue why Onii-chan and Beato act so friendly together. Right now, I think of Beato as our greatest enemy, the one we must defeat... Still, even so... As a woman, I... can’t say I like Onii-chan’s reaction.”

“Onii-chan’s reason for defeating Beato isn’t to destroy an enemy out of hatred... It feels like he wants to give a sincere answer to her questions.”

“...Beatrice. I want to ask you something.” wait is this

“When Ange asked her question, Beato, who had been reading a Fragment book in the shadows of the study, jumped.” oh fuck it is

i was going to say “so let’s recap here” and go over the like fifty different layers of meta here but i don’t even know where to start, oh well let’s try anyway

so we’re reading a story (umineko) about a story (forgery dawn) written by a character in-universe (tohya) about two characters (featherine and ange) reading a story (kakera dawn) about another character (beato), and ange turns around to ask someone else (also beato) a question about the story she is in

i hate this

Anyways, back on track. Ange cuts right to the point, asking Chick why she calls Battler “Father.” She repeats what she’s said before - that Battler created her - and Ange asks why she’s so dedicated to him in the first place. “It’s almost as though... that’s your goal as a piece.”

“Yes... That is the goal that gave birth to me.” Ange asks if Battler gave her that role, and Featherine clarifies that he merely “set a piece with that goal” on the board - and, furthermore, that the first game master - Beato as we know her - was the one to create Chick to begin with.

“...Aaaah, this is getting confusing.” ANGE

Ange summarizes that Chick calls Battler “Father” affectionately, in part because he was the one to put her on the board to begin with, and then asks who gave her the goal of devoting herself to Battler in the first place - only to realize that the answer is the original Beato, who isn’t around to explain anymore.

“I will... do anything for Father... My existence will bring him happiness. ...That is my one and only pleasure... And... And... if I could one day have Father acknowledge my efforts... it would be my one and only joy...”

oh god hope started playing help

“...What the hell. If you only wanted to serve him, I’d say you’re just another furniture of the witch... but you want him to acknowledge your efforts? That’s less like furniture and more like...” And then it clicks: “That’s less like furniture and more like... you’re just a girl... who loves Onii-chan.”

“The guiding force behind this Beato’s actions... is that of a girl who adores Onii-chan. But then, what does that make this Beato? If the first Beato liked Onii-chan, then she should’ve adored him and done things for him herself. Why would she create ‘a piece of herself,’ a separate entity, to do it...? This way... even if she does attract Onii-chan’s attention, it will be towards the piece version of herself, not the creator who made that piece. [...] It’s as though this love is destined to go unrewarded... No matter how devoted she is, she will never get anything out of it.”

“That’s right... This Beato was created as a ‘piece’... because of an impossible reason...”

Ange and Chick discuss the old Beato a bit more, and Chick decides to start calling Battler “Battler-san” instead of Father. She goes back to reading her Fragment book, as dedicated as ever...

Back in the tale itself, Battler’s sitting alone in the study. “There was no colour in this dimly lit room. However... for just the short time that the plate of cookies had been placed there, the room had seemed at least a little cheery...”

He summons an image of the cookies on the desk and just sorta looks at them... then summons a piece of the old Beato. “Come ooon, have a bite~ It’s not every day that I’ll make these by hand...! Have no fear, I’m confident in how well they’ve turned out.”

One by one, he summons a few of the other magic characters - Ronove, Virgilia, Gaap, etc. - and has them make a pithy comment of some sort. Battler ends up reaching out for the plate, only for everyone to disappear just before he touches it... that is, everyone except for Beato.

Even though this is basically a conversation Battler’s having with himself, there’s a lot of interest to it. “...The more the new ‘me’ differs from the form you wished for... the more you are reminded that I can never be revived again, correct...?” Battler starts crying, though he also says, “If you never appear again... that’d be a relief.”

“The ‘me’ you were expecting... has already disappeared. My soul, femininity, sparkling personality, and splendid character were cultivated in a thousand years spent as a witch. Unless an exactly identical thousand years is traversed, it is impossible to become me.” Battler comments that Bern’s already guaranteed Beato will never be revived, and Beato retorts that Battler’s hoping for it regardless.

“One day, the new ‘me’ trips and lands on her head, and all her memories of the past are restored! ...You were hoping for something like that, weren’t you? Ahahahahahaha! A delusional plot like that wouldn’t even pass in a light novel these days!”

Battler comments that Beato was hoping for pretty much the same thing from him in the past, and she goes silent. “Does this mean... that our relationship... is exactly the opposite now of how it once was...?”

“...Well, at times, I did continue the game believing that you would eventually notice and remember, that a miracle would occur.” Battler asks her how it felt, and she cackles and tells him to “look inside his own heart.”

Battler reflects on how maybe he’d be able to cope better if Chick didn’t like the same as Beato herself, and she says, “Well, do as you wish. In the past, I toyed with you and tormented you... Now’s your chance for revenge against me.”

“...I would if it was you. It’d probably make me feel a lot better. ...But... that Beato... isn’t you.”

“Because the new Beato seems like a different person, I can’t accept her. Even though I know she’s a different person... she keeps reminding me of Beato’s face.”

“In that case... why not think of her as my daughter?”

oh no thanks for being born is playing now I’m actually crying

“She does share my blood, so consider her a daughter that closely resembles me. After all, she is my double, but hasn’t lived a thousand years, so calling her that is not incongruous. Imagine that I have died, left behind a daughter... and entrusted her to you. That way, won’t it become a little easier to think of how to deal with her?”

“You are free to press my likeness upon her. You may also let loose your pent up resentment on her in my place. Making her bear my sins and torturing her as you please may calm your grudge. If that doesn’t match your tastes, you can also guide her down the right path so that she does not end up on the inhumane road that I have tread. [...] ...With a miracle of a thousand years, she might even become me.”

With that, Battler realizes just how harsh he was being to Chick earlier, and notices that the card she left with her cookies is on the floor... except he can’t read it through his tears (or the ink is smudged by his tears, I’m not entirely sure which tbh).

Meanwhile, back on the board, Shannon, George, Kanon, and Jessica have been transported into Zepar and Furfur’s smoking room... lounge... thing. magic gonna magic

Shannon’s apparently told George a bit about what’s going to happen, leaving Jessica as the only one completely in the dark. He mentions “a test for a pair of lovers,” though.

Shannon and Kanon put the two halves of the brooch back together, and it shatters, unleashing Zepar and Furfur. YESSSS HERE WE GO

BEAAATORIIIIIIIIICHEEE

And then the two Beatos appear, right... Elder introduces Chick as her “double and little sister.” bern wasn’t kidding when she said beatrice didn’t necessarily mean “a single woman” back in ????1 huh

Zepar and Furfur explain that with the brooch broken, their work is almost done - “It was decided when the contract was made. It was decided that we must lend our power one more time before our final farewell.”

“So, this is truly the final miracle!”

Elder goes on to explain. “Those gathered here are ones cursed to have unsuccessful love unless a miracle occurs. The power of the golden butterfly brooch, which can grant this miracle, is your last chance, and like it or not, this chance is limited to this evening! This miracle can be given only to a single pair!”

Jessica does not take this well at all, understandably. When Shannon asks, Kanon says, “I didn’t know... how I should explain it.” Chick expresses confusion as well, asking Elder if she can’t explain it any better.

“With our blessing, the pair can cultivate their love at their leisure! No need to worry about suspicious demons!” “However, without our blessing, your love will vanish, disappear, wither, and decay.” Jessica angrily asks why.

“Because it is fate!! You may choose not to accept it, you may choose not to resist it!!” yeah i feel like i should have something to say here but really this is pretty blatant isn’t it

“Ushiromiya Jessica, the future you two share is far more grim than you realize.” YEAH NO KIDDING

Elder repeats what’s been said before - unless he and Jessica win, Kanon will end up leaving the island, never to return. “You will probably leave the island yourself in search of the one you love, but such a venture will doubtless be in vain!”

Jessica’s pretty angry, but she remembers something Kanon told her a long time ago - namely, that if Shannon were to ever stop working on Rokkenjima, he’d probably quit as well. Yasu really did think of everything, didn’t she?

On the other hand, if Kanon and Jessica were to win, Kanon would stay on the island with her, and they’d be able to develop their relationship from there... but, in return, George and Shannon won’t get together, though it’s not explained why (yet, at least).

“Without the power of the golden butterfly brooch, neither love is fated to bear fruit.”

Jessica, understandably, asks why the hell that is, and Elder replies, “It is due to your sin of falling in love with furniture, which is not allowed to love.”

George suggests looking at it as a test “to see who can display the strength of their feelings more strongly.”

“When I gave Shannon that engagement ring, I swore to fight all trials and barriers that stand in my way. ...No matter how unreasonable or incomprehensible these trials might be... I cannot choose to avoid them.”

“...We must fight openly for that single miracle. Even if I lose at the end... I’ll be able to accept it if we both gave it our all. And because of that, I will be able to cheer on the victors from the bottom of my heart.”

Shannon apologizes, saying that she’s “determined not to flinch in her resolve,” despite knowing what’ll inevitably happen to Jessica and Kanon’s relationship if she and George win. God, I can understand why Yasu would’ve felt so horrible about this...

“Love brings about conflict, and this conflict gives rise to determination. As the demons of love, [Zepar and Furfur] could understand more fully than any others how noble that determination was...” god

And then Elder comments that Chick is just as eligible for this miracle as the other two pairs of lovers. Hey readers are we getting the hint here yet huh

“With the miracle of the golden butterfly brooch... even your wish... your wish that your affection for Battler will be acknowledged, can be granted easily. ...And without a miracle... you also can never be bound to him.”

Zepar and Furfur state that they were planning on including Chick from the beginning. Jessica, Kanon, George, and Shannon all agree to it and restate their resolve, and Elder asks Chick if she feels the same way.

“...Yes... If there is even a small chance that Father - ah, no... that Battler-san will acknowledge me, I’m willing to put myself on the line.”

And so the demons of love declare, “Let’s begin this trial of lovers, the fight over a single miracle of magic...!!”

Meanwhile, Erika’s gone up to her room on the second floor of the guesthouse. This time around, it’s on the other end of the hall from the cousins’ room. gg batora

She tries making some of her duct tape (or packing tape, as of the Mangagamer release, but we haven’t switched to that yet so shhh) seals from the previous game, only to find out it’s not sticky enough to be used for... pretty much anything, let alone her seals.

“Letting Erika get her hands on duct tape gave her a fatal weapon to use against witches.” i’m just quoting this because i love how it sounds out of context

Dlanor points out that in all likelihood, any substitutes for the tape have also been tampered with, meaning Erika’s out of luck. She kinda takes it in stride and flops over on the bed, clearly in a bad mood.

“...Why do you hate magic, Lady Erika? [Maria’s cup-and-candy magic] was nothing more than a foolish trick to deceive CHILDREN. Everyone knew THAT... Was it really necessary to go so far to destroy that ILLUSION?”

Erika replies with, “Well, I am a self-proclaimed intellectual rapist. I can’t stand having magic confuse the truth.” Dlanor can tell that there’s something other than just “pleasure” behind her actions, though. Erika denies it and turns away, then starts talking to... herself, probably.

“I love you.” SHIP SHIP SHIP (nah i don’t actually ship it sorry)

Erika proceeds to go through random bits from her backstory, from the niceties her then-boyfriend told her to some of the strange things that started popping up - a new wallet, new cologne, suddenly having a part-time job, and so on.

“I found tons of evidence that I loved you. I found tons of evidence that you loved me. But I couldn’t find any evidence that you haven’t been cheating on me.”

“If you really find it that hard to trust me, we’re through. Stay away, just go home, bitch, I don’t love you anymore. Don’t cry dammit, it’s disgusting. Just die. Stop shouting, dammit, you’re annoying the neighbourhood. Just get the hell away from me and never come back.”

“...Without love, it cannot be seen? ...Hah. That’s backwards. Because of love, you end up seeing things that don’t even exist. It’s nothing more than an illusion, one that no one except you can see, and one that even you can never touch. Without love, humans would never need to sift through truth and lies.”

I’m pretty sure I already said it, but... Man, even if I’m guilty of not looking at Erika with enough ‘love’, her backstory here falls completely flat for me. For one thing, it’s coming after she had so much fun tormenting Natsuhi in Ep5 and destroying Maria’s illusion in the lounge earlier - it ends up feeling to me like a pithy attempt to make her sympathetic, and... it just doesn’t work. I can’t quite put my finger on why it doesn’t work for Erika, when we’ve got other terrible characters like Rosa and Kinzo (and even Yasu, to an extent) running around, but... it just doesn’t.

Part of that, and the second thing, is that Erika’s backstory just doesn’t make sense to me. While we’re never given an exact number, the narrative does say that she’s younger than Jessica and Battler, putting her around 16 or 17 at the oldest (I’m not sure where I got 14 from, don’t ask). This backstory? Suggests a woman who’s in her 20′s or late teens at the youngest to me, not someone who’s in middle school. I mean, yeah, sure, willing suspension of disbelief, plus as Bern’s piece who knows what the hell kind of person Erika was to begin with, but... it just doesn’t work for me.

...Though I suppose it’s kinda funny that one of the themes I like about Umineko so much - how two different, contradictory options are both “true” - is what trips me up with Erika, huh?

At any rate. “Right now, I am happy... Though it may be temporary, I have become the Witch of Truth. ...As I am now... I no longer need to worry about being tormented by non-red words.”

Erika ask Dlanor how she’d respond to her accusations, and the two of them re-enact the “game” Erika had against her boyfriend. It’s horrifically one-sided, in Erika’s favour.

Before leaving, Dlanor says, “A splendid game, Lady Erika. Even before you became Lady Bernkastel’s piece, you truly were a splendid wielder of the blue TRUTH... However, Lady Erika. Humans are only allowed to use the blue TRUTH. The only thing that can counter blue truth is red TRUTH. Humans are not allowed to use the red TRUTH... In that case, how should your opponent have shown his TRUTH?”

Erika just sorta replies with “who knows.” I’ll admit to feeling a pang of sympathy for her here...

“...You certainly were the victor in that GAME. However, allow me to say this as a protector of the TRUTH. [...] ...This game is your VICTORY. However... you still have not denied the six points of blue truth evidence that I showed to claim that I still loved YOU. ...Even you are HUMAN. You cannot use red truth to deny those POINTS.” 

Erika smugly replies that she “used the detective’s authority” to have her argument elevated to red truth. “I am human, yet superior to humans. A detective and a witch. I am the Witch of Truth, Furudo Erika. Any other questions? Parting remarks?”

Dlanor hesitantly says no and leaves, leaving Erika laughing bitterly on her own. Glancing at the clock, she notices that it’s almost midnight.

“The curtain has finally opened on the second day, October 5th. ...I wonder if the murder this time is happening somewhere about now. I hope our victims leave us some interesting dying messages this time.” yikes™

Elsewhere, George is confronting Eva about his engagement with Shannon. it’s finally murder time

[kyuu-rereads-umineko]

Ep6, Chapter 3 (Part 2)

meta in your meta in your meta

The boat arrives at the harbour, and this time, the relatives are greeted by both Gohda and Kanon.

Seeing Kanon putting himself forward like this... makes me feel really emotional. On one hand, it’s heartwarming to see Yasu reaching out like this, in spite of all her bitterness and anger that Kanon carries, but on the other hand... for some reason, it brings to mind Shannon’s acceptance of George’s proposal in Ep2, and what that really meant. It’s complicated.

Rosa and Kyrie comment that Kanon is looking brighter than usual, which... again, brings Shannon in Ep2 to mind. The way she seems to come out of her depression after starting to date George, the way that other people pick up on it...

“...Maybe the real surprise should have been that his normal expression must have looked so incredibly sullen in comparison.”

Arriving in the rose garden, he sees Jessica running towards him, and preempts her by asking if he really looks that different. lol

Kanon admits that he didn’t really have any work to do earlier, then mentions that Shannon is planning on getting married. Jessica reacts... sullenly.

“I decided that... I would stop working here if Nee-san ever quit.” Man, Yasu really did think of everything, didn’t she...?

After saying that he’s unsure of what he’s going to do, Kanon admits his feelings for Jessica, saying, “I have the feeling that, with you, I’d be able to get away from the part of myself that I hate for being furniture.” Yasu...

“So that I can be with you all the time... I plan to stop being furniture. I ask that you give me some time to do that... Please forgive this last bit of weakness.”

And Jessica rightly replies that there’s nothing weak about that at all. Tohya’s love for Yasu is really, really apparent in this episode, even compared to his others.

Jessica asks if Kanon would’ve admitted to anything if it weren’t for Shannon telling him about her engagement, and he’s unable to reply. She asks if it’s because he “wanted to see what love felt like,” and he affirms.

Y’know, I’m still not sure what to think of the premise of this Episode. If I had to speculate, then my guess would be... Sometime before the start of the game proper, Battler got back in contact with Yasu, and apologized for going AWOL for so long. Whether Yasu told him the truth about herself or not, I’m not sure, but the end result was that she gained the resolve to keep on living, and actually be herself, as opposed to one of her characters. That’s not necessarily to say that she’s telling Jessica everything right now (remember, there’s no detective in this episode), or even that she does before the game gets paused, but I’m not really sure how else to interpret Shannon and Kanon’s behaviour so far. Shannon declaring her intention to get married to George and Kanon deciding to be honest about his feelings are part of this - Yasu’s made up her mind to actually confront her conflicting feelings head-on, to find out who she feels strongest about, as opposed to being torn between George, Jessica, and Battler.

That also segues into what happens with Erika later - since she’s not intending to blow up the island anymore, Yasu doesn’t kill anyone, allowing Battler to set up his murder mystery “prank” - but we’ll get to that later.

Anyways. Jessica admits that she was also jealous of George and Shannon, and the narrative says, “[Kanon and Jessica] had been shown the courage needed to speak up and tell the person you love how you feel.”

Kanon decides to call Jessica by her name when they’re alone, and gives her his own name - Yoshiya.

“The red, red flowers of the rose garden seemed to celebrate the two lovers whose feelings had finally connected...”

And we cut to meta, where chick-Beato is watching the scene unfold, clearly unhappy.

“By calling someone by their name, people acknowledge the worth of that person’s soul. That is why names are sacred.” Beato wonders if that’s why Battler’s so insistent she call him by his name, instead of Father. That’s probably part of it, though given the connotations of “Father” in this case...

“When Father sees me, it reminds him of that other me... the past me. And I’m sure that ‘me’ called Father by his name.” It occurs to me now that we probably are seeing a pretty accurate replay of what happened between Kinzo and Beatrice II, aren’t we...? Just, uh, since meta gonna meta it’s a bit less horrifying

Beato wonders how she can make herself useful to Battler, while Ange and Featherine watch the scene... or read it, or something. Meta in your meta in your meta.

Featherine remarks that she never expected to see Ange extend compassion towards Beato. Well, I suppose in a sense, that’s true, but at the same time - Ange’s character arc in Ep4 was all about the true nature of magic and witches, understanding what magic is, who uses it, and what drives them to use it. The way she uses that understanding to destroy Yasu’s Golden Land and drag her back to the game is... Well, yeah, okay, not exactly “compassionate,” is it?

But, at the same time, it’s her own experiences and understanding that allow her to do that. Even if she doesn’t know the details of Yasu’s life, she knows what kind of person must be hiding behind Beatrice - and given that said Beatrice decided to destroy the entire island and Ushiromiya family, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Ange would’ve known that her pain went so very, very deep.

What I mean is - it’s easy to compare Ange’s mindset in Ep4, when she kills the stakes and asks her classmates to kill her, to the mindset that drove Yasu to start playing with the bomb and spinning her roulette. There’s a deliberate parallel to be made there. The thing is - even though Ange is suicidally depressed throughout Ep4 after that, that’s still a far cry from plotting an elaborate murder-suicide mystery. Even if Ange isn’t sure who to direct her anger and sorrow at, she’s aware that the incident was premeditated to a great degree (even if that didn’t really affect anything in the real world, but still).

i’m good at dancing around the point huh

TL;DR - While saying Ange “felt compassion” towards Beato in Ep4 isn’t really right, she did feel compassion and express an understanding of other witches, other people who use magic. If it weren’t for that understanding, she wouldn’t even be having this conversation with Featherine right now.

Ange states that it’d be unfair to call chick-Beato the same person as the original Beato. Featherine reflects that Battler’s probably “very depressed” that his resurrection efforts didn’t work out as hoped.

“I can sort of understand Onii-chan’s despair... However, I can understand how this child feels as well. No person can become a replacement for another... Not even the past version of themselves.” I feel like there’s a parallel to draw here between Meta-Battler/Chick-Beato and future-Ange/Tohya, but my memory of Ep8 is pretty hazy...

Ange and Featherine start talking about Beato’s “purpose,” and Ange expresses confusion - “So, the Beato who was born for Onii-chan’s sake eventually commits a serial murder and drags him into a bizarre game that she calls eternal torture?”

Again, we’ll see if this gets clearer as I read more, but I can’t help but feel that this “Beato exists for Battler’s sake” thing only muddies the waters even further, because for Yasu, that’s really not why Beato exists. Yes, Beato’s the one who’s “assigned” her love for Battler, and that’s a big part of what makes her transform from the ghost of the island to the Golden Witch as we know her, but “Beato the power fantasy” is just as important to her identity.

...Which, I realize, is characterized as Elder Beato later on, so I am wasting my breath here, aren’t I? Oh well!

At any rate, Featherine reminds Ange that “one can become a different person over a thousand years,” so.

“At the very least, Beatrice was once a pure creature who was born for Battler’s sake.” nvm i stand by what i said above

Ange questions the meaning of “a thousand years,” and Featherine says it explicitly: “Six years can become a thousand, and a thousand years can be nothing more than a quick nap.” She also throws in a Higurashi reference, just for good measure!

“So, does that mean something bad happened during those six years that made her hate Onii-chan?” Well, yes and no.

Ange expresses that Beato’s hate must be “misguided,” since Battler’s been away for the past six years, and Featherine just ...’s in response. VERY SUBTLE

Back in the, uh, gameboard-Meta? I guess? yeah let’s go with that

Back there, Kumasawa finds Beato sitting in the arbour of Kuwadorian. Beato asks her about her name, confirming that she is, in fact, Beatrice...

“However... the Beatrice that Father talks about... isn’t me.”

“I think Father wanted me to be that person... I think that might be why... He was disappointed because, no matter how much I looked like her... I am a different person.” Kumasawa replies that no, she’s the same “Beato” as the one Battler loves, she’s just “lost her memory” due to being “reborn.” If what we’re supposed to get out of this is how Kumasawa reacted to Beatrice II’s similar questions... Euuugh. Chick-Beato asks how she can regain her memories, and Kumasawa doesn’t have a reply.

“If I can’t regain them... can’t you at least tell me what kind of person the Beatrice Father loved was?”

“I was born for Father’s sake. So, I want to become the Golden Witch that he desires.” Oooh, I’d forgotten about this line.

This sort of strikes me as a marked difference from the situation with Kinzo and Beatrice II, and highlights one of the critical differences between Battler and Kinzo - while Kinzo was willing to erase his daughter’s “identity” for his own desires (to an ultimately tragic end), from what I recall, Battler... doesn’t. He asks her not to call him “Father,” and reacts negatively to how different she is, true, but as far as I can recall, he never tries to overrule her sense of self in the same way as Kinzo did.

I mean, in the end, we still go from him thinking “I should treat her as Beato’s daughter” to joining in on the love trial despite that, which is certainly... Questionable, but, y’know.

Ange cuts in, commenting that Chick-Beato is “an incredible kid,” without those “thousand years gone wrong.” Featherine says that she’s taken a liking to her, then allows her access to her study. oh man i forgot this scene was this early on

“So you’re going to make her read aloud the stories about her previous self... Yes, I want to know too. The tale of how the Golden Witch Beatrice was created.”

Back in the arbour, Kumasawa turns into Virgilia, “You must choose the path that you are to walk down... Let us call it a path of roses. The beautifully blooming roses may encourage you, and their thorns may torment you... but even so, it is a path that you once walked down. You may pass through the same thousand years. You may pass through a different thousand years. If you wish, you may even return back the way you came.”

Beato states her resolve - that she doesn’t want “to spend a thousand years in this garden drinking tea.” This is definitely evocative of Beatrice II’s decision to leave Kuwadorian behind in Rosa’s flashback, huh...

The two of them warp into Featherine’s study, where they meet Ange and Featherine herself. meta gonna fuckin meta

“The Beatrice you’re trying to become... was suffering from something. At the very least, you’ve been released from that for now... Will you really go on a journey to regain those shackles...?” Beato replies that, yes, she does. “I want to become the Golden Witch... That is the reason I was born.”

virgilia formally asks ange to “make beato’s journey through purgatory a pleasant one” and ange stiffly responds with her own formal reply lmao

Beato asks Ange to tell her about herself, and Ange says, “Sure... And I’ll want you to teach me. Why did you become the person you were?” That’s really the core question, isn’t it...?

Featherine states, quite simply, that solving the witch’s epitaph is a “trial” for becoming the Golden Witch, and that even Beato herself can’t skip it. In a way, that’s exactly what happened for Yasu. She was the “witch of the island” before she solved the epitaph, after all.

Ange realizes that she can’t interfere with Beato’s resolve - she’s simply a spectator. “This was just a bit of directing... to shine the spotlight onto the tale of Beato’s past.”

Featherine says it quite simply - reading the archive isn’t going to make Beato regain her memories. It’s up to her to decide what she takes away from the experience.

and beato goes to think her and trips over her name lmao, she’s too cute like this

“After being welcomed in by Featherine, Beato left on a journey to know herself. That tale connected the old tale with the new one. It wove them together. The thousand year old tale about her returned to its starting point, becoming a snake eating its own tale. [...] The thousand years of the witch born on Rokkenjima... were tied to the island. Was it a thousand years, or just six? ...Or did this tale extend even further back into the past?”