#i mean first i need to fix my missing cc but once i do..

[qoldenskies]

OUGH thank you so much for answering- this fic haunts my mind in the best possible way.. I'm looking forward to the epilogue, no pressure to finish quickly!! I had another thought pop up, since he said he didn't want to lose April too in cc, does that mean he'd never have that app installed to keep April from downloading that app, since he wouldn't want her to be upset?

And you mentioned Donnie only wanting to go to Raph if it's something worth going to him for, what does Donnie consider worthy?

Does Leo ever once think to himself that all of it could have been avoided if they'd just listened to him and not gone to that new place to eat?

This one might seem odd, I apologize for that- Is Donnie sensitive to being yelled at in general, or just from his brothers specifically? Like if an audio is shouting at the screen, is he triggered?

How did the showing of the sheet of Donnie's mistakes go down? I might have missed this somehow- apologies about that. /gen

Okay I have to say this again. I GENUINELY LOVE HOW YOU WRITE I feel exactly like I'm in the story it's crazy... If it were a hardbook I would buy it /pos

YIPPEEEEEE MORE!!! :DDDD

does that mean he'd never have that app installed to keep April from downloading that app, since he wouldn't want her to be upset?

it's already said and done at this point and there's a VERY good chance donnie has forgotten about it lol. i think he'd needed access to april's phone in order to install it so there's a good chance he'd nabbed it and done that when she wasnt looking at some point (the little shit lmao) so he cant go and remove it remotely, and if he ever ends up remembering i think she'd kinda shut him down because its convenient. it WAS right when it went off and im sure they've already had a discussion about it where april thanked him for the sentiment and agreed to keep it because an antivirus was a good thing, but made a point about donnie doing shit like that behind her back lmao. dont touch her stuff without permission!!

donnie definitely wouldn't end up putting trackers in them, though! its mentioned as something he's considering pretty early in CL but it doesnt end up happening, and i think he'd be worried about it being too big an invasion of privacy. he wouldn't want them to be upset if they found out-- although there's a chance they might voluntarily go with the idea if he ever brings it up. ironically, that'd probably be a post-invasion conversation, because i could see the paranoia of them being hurt again spurring him into it.

And you mentioned Donnie only wanting to go to Raph if it's something worth going to him for, what does Donnie consider worthy?

donnie would very rarely approach raph unless its kind of paired with a real "reason", which usually means most talks they have are utilitarian and productive. things about the team, mostly, or something in relation to one of the others. or maybe donnie's bringing up an idea for team support, or offering to fix something for him (the weight rack haunts him, and he doesn't even remember it), or just wanting him to give a gift and needing an idea of what to scope out first. things like that.

he looks for raph's pride and appreciation more than anything. he wants to hear a "good job" and raph is increasingly more reluctant to give it, mostly because he knows donnie is prone to overworking behind their backs and he doesn't want to validate self-destructive behavior like that. its really hard to find the line especially because donnie will freak out if he gets too confrontational. "we dont want you to do good, helpful things if it hurts you to do them" is a concept that is REALLY hard for him to grasp. you know how in coming undone he hears "we dont want you to" and thinks it means "we dont want you"? yeah

raph works around it by being the one to initiate, usually. even if donnie needs something from him he's not going to be the one to come to him, so raph tries his hardest to bridge the gap and seem approachable. it's kind of awkward when they just hang out one by one, doing something together instead of just engaging in parallel play, because its been so long and both of them are so careful about appeasing the other, but they figure it out slowly.

Does Leo ever once think to himself that all of it could have been avoided if they'd just listened to him and not gone to that new place to eat?

to this day they do not know it was because they went there,,, leo mentions the night after where they cuddle up together only because its the last time they ever really do something like that, but they mention a lot that they dont remember exactly when it started (and the weight rack is earlier than their earliest estimate!), with the onset being so slow and with their thought processes being so clouded by all these excuses and rationalizations, its hard to say for sure. what's an extension of how they already acted and what isnt? they'll never really know.

if he learned about it though, oh yeah. this time he would not be reveling in being right, and if he was the only one who learned about it he would NEVER tell mikey, considering he was the one who was so pushy about going there in the first place.

leo thinks the most about how witch town was caused by what he perceives as his own negligence. i think all of them have a tendency to see their old selves as a lot worse than they actually were-- because they cared about donnie a lot and they did take care of him when he needed it. leo's the worst about it, because while raph and mikey will get caught up on the idea of knowing about witch town at all, leo's quicker to cut to the core of the problem-- would have donnie ever lashed out like that if they'd just known, and been able to reassure him, before it ever got to that point? why did leo's stupid younger self have to dismiss all of the signs?? miner's eulogy heavily features this thought process, which is why learning about witch town makes him react so badly in the first place.

Is Donnie sensitive to being yelled at in general, or just from his brothers specifically? Like if an audio is shouting at the screen, is he triggered?

donnie was already bad with yelling even before the Horrors and that's just because he's incredibly sound-sensitive and jumpy. if strangers yell he's bound to fall over like a baby goat regardless, which i think is just kind of intensified in cc!donnie. more likely he'll bolt like a skittish cat if he's shocked by a sudden noise like that. where is he even going? who knows. he just took off LMAO

otherwise i think it just really depends. there's bound to be a lot of shouting in battle so i think after a while he'll become desensitized to it, but i think if he was watching something that hit a little too close to home he'd probably just kind of freeze. i dont think he'd go fully dissociative but his breath would catch and he'd be slow to respond if they talked to him, and they honestly just might mistake it as him being drowsy/falling asleep until they notice him shaking. for some reason my brain went to tangled,, certain parts around the end there might hit a little close to home for obvious reasons.

How did the showing of the sheet of Donnie's mistakes go down? I might have missed this somehow- apologies about that. /gen

it happened specifically away from donnie because raph knew it was going to upset leo and mikey a LOT, especially because both of them would demand details, it's just the type of people they are-- idk i've always just kind of assumed in my head that raph would physically be able to show it to them since he was already given donnie's permission to, dont think about logistics too hard. it was a really rough conversation though, especially tangibly seeing the way that the curse pre-closet fucked him up. it just gets worse the more you think about it.

a wall was probably punched. and it was probably leo (and donnie never sees this, the way that it affected him, because leo keeps such a tight hold on his anger and despair for his sake). and raph knew something like that was going to happen, which is why he kept it away from him. there's multiple times especially early in cw where they do things like this, talk about things that donnie expressed privately (or things they only witnessed, like raph catching donnie sleep on the floor), it's just the only time it's shown in donnie's perspective and he really ruminates on it. it was probably the right choice to make, raph just should've been more clear it was what he meant. mikey the mvp for being so open about things tbh

mwah mwah <33

[syringia]

tempted to just make a ton of pokemon characters in the sims when I get home just to set them loose and see what happens

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Crossword Clues & Coffee - Five Across

Summary: A chance encounter in Lebanon’s finest (read: only) diner leads Dean to find the one thing he never knew his life was missing.

Warnings: Tiny bit of language? Angst. LOTS of sass. Honestly, it’s a lot of fluff. No romance.

Author’s Note: Many thanks to @there-must-be-a-lock for always-masterful revision and editing advice, and to @thoughtslikeaminefield for encouragement and flails. I think we all need something a little more light-hearted these days, so here you go.

MAJOR NOTE: DO NOT QUIT IN THE MIDDLE. DO NOT KILL ME. READ TO THE END OF THE CHAPTER. You've trusted me this long, just read til the end of the chapter. One more chapter after this one.

Word Count: 1269

In Case You Missed It: CC&C: One Across | Two Down | Three Down | Three Across | Four Down

ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Five Across

Winter brings chill winds and a rattling cough to Esther’s chest that has Dean this close to just picking her up, sticking her in Baby, and taking her to the doctor himself. She waves him off his “fussing,” swallows some pills, and puts her kettle on the stove for yet another cup of honeyed tea.

Dean gets it; she’s been along for a long time, and even before that she was the one who took care of everyone, not the other way around. Dean understands a little too well, actually.

That doesn’t mean he has to like it.

When Dean arrives at the diner the following Tuesday only to receive a message from one of the waitresses that Esther called and isn’t “feeling up to breakfast,” he turns on his heel without a word, stops for ten minutes at the grocery store, and is at Esther’s front door before Baby even has time to stop growling in the driveway.

He knocks once, for propriety’s sake (and only because Esther actually gives a damn about propriety in the first place), and then barges straight in, one arm cradling a small paper grocery sack as his eyes sweep the empty living room.

“Esther?” he calls. He drops the groceries on the table and heads in the direction of the coughing, his heart sinking lower with every little gasping breath he hears at the end of the coughs.

He finds Esther propped up in bed, not even dressed for the day despite it being an hour past their normal meeting time. She looks smaller than usual, the fluffy comforter pulled up around her shoulders as she holds a handkerchief to her mouth just before another round of coughs racks her frail form.

She doesn’t look surprised at Dean’s appearance, doesn’t even fuss at his unannounced arrival, and that honestly worries him as much as the coughing. He retrieves a glass from the kitchen, fills it with cool water, and holds his own steadying hand around Esther’s as she drinks slow sips.

He sets about making her honeyed tea and the oatmeal he purchased from the grocery store, adding some honey to the hot grain (sludge, he thinks with a bone-deep shudder). Then, sighing deeply, he adds a second bowl to the tray for himself.

She’ll be angry if he doesn’t eat, too.

She’s steadier after the hot meal, her coughs subsiding, and they manage a stilted conversation for a couple of minutes before Dean clears away their breakfast dishes and returns with the newspaper he brought.

Rather than handing it over, he pulls out his own pencil stub and starts reading the crossword clues aloud, waiting for input between coughing fits with an increasing tightness in his gut that he doesn’t quite hide behind the death grip on his pencil nor his deepening frown.

His teeth grind a little harder, and his gut twists a little tighter with every cough or rattle in her breath. She’s as stubborn as Sam on a quest to save the world, and Dean is irritated down to his soul. Every wheeze makes the fire burn a little hotter until he finally breaks, somewhere between Esther’s fourth coughing fit and the clue for twelve down (“Related to the lungs, 9 letters”).

“You won’t go to the doctor or the hospital, so does that mean you’re giving up? You done here?” He knows he’s being blunt, bordering on rude, but he’s past caring about manners.

“Because I’m not done with you. Not with coffee, not with dinners, not with… with fixing up your house. I still have… the flower beds to dig up, and you asked me to work on your porch, and… we haven’t even gone through a quarter of your recipe box. I’m not… I don’t accept it. You’re too damn stubborn to just quit.”

His torrent of words startles the truth out of Esther at last, and her eyes mist over a little. “Stanley died in a hospital. Doctors misdiagnosed him over and over, ignored some of his symptoms, just wouldn’t listen. Haven’t trusted them since. Figured if I can’t handle it myself, I can at least try to be comfortable at home.”

Dean mulls that over, his eyebrows drawn low, acid roiling in his gut. He probably looks angry, which is better than looking as scared as he feels. He’s got a feeling she sees right through the anger anyway.

“So you aren’t ready to die?”

She studies him for a long moment, taking in a slow, rattling breath but managing to forestall the next round of coughs with a sip of lukewarm tea.

“No, Dean, I’m not quite ready to go yet. Seems I’ve got a thing or two left worth sticking around for after all.”

Dean covers her hands with his once more, pressing his lips together to stop the tremor. He isn’t quite able to ignore how cool and fragile her fingers feel against his palm, how thin and papery her skin feels against his callouses. He holds her eyes with his own, his expression brooking no arguments.

“Good, I’m making a call to a friend. He’s not a doctor, but he’s going to help you.”

“You’re going to call a stranger over to-”

He cuts her off, his tone hardened steel to her iron.

“I’m calling a friend to help you. You said you’re not ready to give up. This is your option.”

Dean already has his phone, tapping in a quick text. His eyes flick to hers, not asking permission, but she nods anyway, and he hits send on his phone. There’s a whooshing noise, vaguely fluttering, from the hallway behind him, and Cas walks in, tie and trench coat in their usual disarray.

“What’s the emergency, Dean? Where’s Sam?”

“Heal her, Cas,” he says without preamble, his eyes locked on Esther’s. She raises her eyebrows, glances to Cas, but then looks back to Dean. He sees the questions rushing across her face, but for whatever reason, she chooses silent acceptance.

Her fingers tremble in his grip, but she redoubles her hold on him as Cas moves to her other side. The angel reaches out, places a chaste hand on her collarbone, and closes his eyes. The glow is brief and warm, and the rattle in Esther’s chest disappears.

Esther breathes deeply for a moment, her eyes wide with shock, and she looks from the angel to the hunter with her mouth agape. Her fingers grip Dean’s with more force than a moment ago, and relief floods through Dean so fast his head spins.

The tiny, elderly woman stammers for a moment, as off-kilter as Dean has ever seen her, before closing her mouth with a near-audible snap. She licks her lips, swallows, clears her throat, and then looks up at Cas.

“Go hang up your coat and put your shoes by the front door, young man. Straighten your tie, as well, and then go start the coffee. You’re skin and bones, too. Dean, I’m starving. No more oatmeal, we’re going to make a real breakfast. Now shoo, both of you. I have to get dressed.”

Esther swings her legs over the side of the bed, standing with a bit more alacrity than she’s used to, and she glances over at Dean, her eyes narrow.

“Hips not bothering you so much now, huh?”

“Dean Campbell, do not ask a woman about her hips; that is beyond indecent. Now get out of my bedroom, young man. Go be useful.”

Dean grins, shutting the door and heading down the hall to find Cas before the angel can destroy the coffee pot.

...

Next: Six Down

[criquette-was-here]

Some replies

@annachibi​ said:

I'm giggling at the names that are Simlish-inspired like Gerbit and Fretishe, and I've just noticed Forewheel Drive LOL I love it! *Phorewheel haha

Ah, yes. Coming up with street names is fun. I hate to figure it out in a random, casual way that take place most of the time I create a new lot, so having a map with all the street names already in place beforehand is very handy. And of course I had to have something like Phorewheel Drive in Feverfew. There’s also Wright End by the way. And there’s a street in Leftbank overlooking Feverfew and it is called Feverview (lol!) XD

Anonymous said:

hi again, not sure why the 1st part of my ask disappeared. (1) thank you so much for sharing Feverfew with us!! i haven't downloaded it yet, but the pictures look amazing. your dedication and attention to detail are unbelievable and i'm in awe of your work! question: have you thought about creating your own lot impostor textures for lots in Feverfew (like you once described in a tutorial)? and do you think there's a possibility for a mod that stops these textures from updating when saving a lot?

Hey anon! Yes, tumblr can play tricks sometimes. You’re most welcome! Lot imposter do have a modding potential for improvement, but as always, it takes time. May be in the next five years we’ll have better imposters! Who knows :)

Anonymous said:

Hi! Feverfew is beautiful! However, I have an issue with the individual garage roofs flashing blue. Any way I can fix it?

Hey anon! Garage roofs flashing blue means you need both Bus transit sets. Old and extended one.

@youdonelostyourmind said:

THANK YOU for Feverfew - what a great relief it must be to have this beautiful project finally done! Big congrats, you so deserve it, this really is the nicest thing to come out of 2020.

Thank you so much! I wish you a wonderful 2021 too!

Anonymous said:

Hello! I love Feverfew, to start. Haha. When I open River Seasonne and lower the walls completely, the garden windows appear bright blue as if I’m missing a mesh. I have defaults for garden walls but am unsure if that could be the cause. Do you have input? Thank you for taking a moment to read!

Hello anon! Yes, I know about that issue, but that will be fixed (along with some other minor issues) in the first update for lot mode CC I’m preparing. But we’ll have to wait for it a little bit I’m afraid :I

Anonymous said:

This might be a stupid question, but how do you get neighbourhood deco so close to roads? I can never seem to get it close, which makes my neighbourhoods look strange. I hope you don't mind me asking, you are the master of decorating neighbourhoods, after all.

Hey anon! I don’t mind at all! Well, all the neighborhood decorations I make, are free from placement restrictions. Unfortunately, not every neighborhood deco creator thinks about that when making their content and that only can be fixed via SimPE by editing the .xml file in the package. The process is described in this little article that can be found in my field notes. As for the Maxis original neigbhorhood decorations, there’s a fix that allows them to be placed everywhere, including lots.

[mimimonty]

Updated Hairs

So the new update brought 6 new hair colours, meaning that custom content hairs are now missing those swatches. I’m waiting to redownload cc hair until the majority of my favourite creators update the hairs to include the new swatches. 

A note about colour tagging: in order for custom hairs to act correctly with genetics in TS4 they need to be tagged with the correct colour, afaik the only way to do this is through Sims4Studio which is yet to be updated for the new patch. Now, I know some cc creators have already updated their hairs without the tags and that’s fine for me because I won’t mind manually tagging them myself once the S4S update is out, but if you’d rather not do that then it’s best to wait and see if the creator updates them first. 

Anyway, the purpose of this post is for me to start a “masterlist” of updated hairs from the creators I use. As always, this post is mainly for my personal use but if anyone finds it and finds it useful well that’s great too. And obviously this post will be a WIP until the hairs are all updated. 

**Don’t pressure your favourite creators, there won’t be a quick and easy batch-fix for this so it’s a huge task**

Joliebean [x] (not sure about tags)

Grimcookies [x] (tagged correctly)

ImVikai [x] (not sure about tags)

AHarris00Britney [x] (tagged correctly)

[norequestimagines]

Safeguard [Pt. 3]

A/N; WHAT’S UP MOTHER FUCKERS, IT’S FINALLY HERE.I am genuinely so sorry this took as long as it did. I couldn't get the ending quite right. I suck at ending things. I just feel like it’s cheesy and not as tied up as I’d like but I hope y’all like it. Please let me know! CC is always welcome. 

trigger warning: arguing?

A soft yellow haze filled the room while the sun rose, shining through the window. I stretched and rolled over, my heart dropping when I realized Josh was gone, but my hope was quickly restored when I  saw the steaming mug full of coffee on the nightstand next to me. Soft metal- on-metal noises could be heard coming from the kitchen.

Josh stood at the stove, turning bacon with a fork and attempting to scramble eggs with a wooden spoon in his non-dominant hand. He’d jump when the bacon fat popped, splattering onto his bare abdomen.

“It doesn’t hurt if you’ve got a shirt on.” I giggled from the bottom of the staircase. 

He turned to smile at me before turning back to the bacon. “I didn’t hear you complaining about me being shirtless last night.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not complaining. Though, I might complain about the egg puck and burned bacon you’re working on, there.”

“Yeah… I was going for a whole thing here but I don’t think I have a future as a chef.” He grumbled, placing his hands on his hips and scowling at his failed attempt at a breakfast. 

“Grab some more eggs, you can focus on the bacon. Just make sure you start with the pan cold, Gordon Ramsay.” I giggled, placing my coffee on the counter before starting to crack eggs and whisk them into a froth. 

It was easy. He asked questions about how I beat the eggs and how I got them so fluffy. I danced around him to place bread in the toaster and pour us both more coffee before returning to stir the eggs, ensuring that they didn’t burn. Laughing at his childlike wonder at my (rather basic) cooking skills, it was hard not to feel some sense of melancholy. It was always so easy with him. There was no stress and no overthinking because everything always just worked. And even now, as we made breakfast together while being broken up and having jus had sex the night prior, it felt right. 

We ate at the table outside, taking in the early morning sun. He didn’t ruin the second batch of bacon, nor did he make breakfast uncomfortable. We kept the conversation light, joking about his being completely hopeless in the kitchen. Neither of us came back to reality until he told me I had no idea how beautiful I was. 

“Josh, you can’t just-” My gaze fell to my plate; suddenly my fork pushing my eggs around was incredibly interesting. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” His voice trailed off and I refused to look back at him, instead turning my eyes towards the horizon. Our place overlooked a few acres of land and mornings here were always my favorite. 

Suddenly, this morning wasn’t so easy. 

“Thank you, Josh, for everything. But I uh, I should really get going.”

Standing before he could say anything, I stood and walked quickly into the house. I could hear him hot on my heels. 

“Kara, wait! Kar, please, just- Kara!” He grabbed my wrist as my foot hit the second stair, putting me a few inches above him. “Can we please just talk about last night?” 

I chewed my lip and mulled it over. Deciding I may as well get it over with, I met his eyes and took a deep breath. “Let’s sit down, yeah?” 

A flicker of a smile passed on Josh’s lips before he lead me to the living room, his fingers locking with mine. We sat on the couch, right next to each other, in the most uncomfortable silence I’d ever been a part of. 

“So last ni-”

“What happ-” 

We laughed and I insisted he go first. 

“Last night… What uh; I mean I wanted to be here for you in whatever way you needed, but I just… wasn’t expecting that to happen. Like, at all. And don’t get me wrong, it was great! I just don’t want you to feel like you owe me for what I did or like-” Josh rambled when he was out of his element. I’d always found it endearing. 

“Last night, I was vulnerable and scared and I just wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel at home, you know? And I didn’t come to the guest room with the intent on that, but it just felt so…” “So normal.” He finished for me.

“SO normal! I’d had a horrible night and all I wanted was you.” 

Josh stayed silent, electing to grin shyly at me before picking at a stray thread on his sweats.  I took a few moments to take him in, the silence now comfortable. I missed staring into his ocean blue eyes over dinner. The feeling of his rough hands against my scalp after a hard day. I missed arguing over whether or not he should cut his hair and going out to breakfast when we both had a morning off. He was the only thing in Ohio that felt like home and I felt so lost without him. 

“What happened, Josh?” I whispered, not trusting my voice to be any stronger. “Why did we break up?” My eyes met his and he looked as if he’d just kicked a puppy. “ I mean I know why, but I don’t… Things didn’t happen the way you think they happened.”

“I know.” His voice was raspy, tears lining his waterline. 

“You know? You know?! So you did read the letter and you never even called?” I stared at him in awe. 

“No, that’s not… Kara, please, just let me explain my side.”

I stayed silent, nodding for him to continue.

“When I saw his instagram, I just freaked. The guys offered to buy me a few drinks, try to get my mind off of it. But the more I drank the more pissed I got. So I came home hot headed and drunk and I handled everything all wrong. I should’ve asked you what was going on. And I should’ve listened to you when you tried to tell me. I was just so wrapped up in my own head. In how hurt I was. How insecure I was. I thought it was best for both of us if I let you go.” 

“Insecure?” Josh was a professional athlete, in a town full of people who worshipped him. Girls threw themselves at him every time we went out whether it was just the two of us or with the whole team. What did he have to be insecure about?

“Yeah, I uh, I’ve always been intimidated by you. Remember when we met, and I didn’t actually ask you out for weeks? It’s because I couldn’t imagine a girl like you wanting to be with somebody like me. You graduated college at the top of your class. You don’t take shit from anybody. You can outdrink half the team and they all fucking adore you. I’m just some dumb jock who got lucky. And I know you’ve been wanting to take the next step. I can see your face when our friends get engaged and have kids and I can’t give you that right now. It wouldn't be fair to you or our kids for me to be away all the time, or to have to move around if I get traded. I want those things with you, Kar, but I can’t ask you to keep waiting around for me.” He scoffs, looking at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry. I grab him hand to stop him from ripping a hole in his sweats. His hands grasps mine tightly and he smiles at me sadly, a tear running down his face. “So then I see pictures of you with this guy, and you looked so happy, I just thought… I figured you found someone who could give you what I can’t yet, and I panicked. Once you left and I read that letter, I felt more stupid than I ever had in my entire life. I went back and looked at the pictures again and realized how different you looked. How sad your eyes were. I knew you were telling the truth. And then Boone told me about the court shit and I couldn’t face you. I let you go through all of that alone. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve the wedding you’ve always wanted, and the kids I’m sure you already have names picked out for. You deserve someone who can give you the world.”

I kept a hold of his hand as I turned to him, wiping tears from his cheeks with my free hand and tears of my own flowed down my face. “Josh, you are my world.” I choked out.  “I want to get married to you. I want your kids and I want our life. No other man could ever be enough for me.” 

Josh released a sob before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me to straddle his lap and burying his face in my neck. It felt incredible to be surrounded by him again. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” We both cried for a moment, just taking one another in. “What can I do?” He mumbled again. I felt him lean away from me, placing his large hands on either side of my face, lifting it to meet his. Our eyes locked and I choked out another sob.  “Tell me how to fix this. Tell me what to do, sweetheart, please, I-”

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes, silently praying to anyone who might be listening for some clarity . “ I don’t know, Josh. I don’t know what to do, either. I needed you to listen to me and you wouldn’t. I needed you to be there and you weren’t. How am I supposed to trust you again?” 

His hands moved down, one to hold my waist and one to rub large, comforting circles on my back.. “I’ve seen my life without you and I never want to live that way again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. You say the word and it’s done. Please just come back home.” Josh whimpered and I could feel my heart breaking for him.

The past few months flashed before me. The sleepless nights in an empty apartment. Boone bringing takeout to my place because he knew I was too down to cook for myself. Feeling completely lost without Josh to share my life with. I knew he and I weren’t ready for marriage and kids yet but I couldn’t imagine having any of that with anyone else. 

“Don’t you ever let me go again.” 

In an instant, Josh’s arms were squeezing my body against his.  Neither of us spoke a word. After spending months apart and then having such an emotional roller coaster of the past 12 hours, we chose instead to take each other in. I could see the freckles that spread across his shoulders like constellations in the night sky. I could feel him wrapped around me, strong and steady. It’d been months and now that I could hear his heartbeat and smell his body wash and be with him, I finally felt safe. We had a lot of work to do. Our relationship would have to be rebuilt, a little at a time. But for now, we were together, and that was enough. 

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 26 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 26

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

“Bret, where are we going?” (Y/n) laughed. She knew he was in a band, but she had yet to meet his bandmates. Bret was all smiles as he led her to the rehearsal area. He was so excited to show her off to the guys.

"Well… I decided it's time you meet the band," he said excitedly.

“You want me to meet your band? Finally?” She asked. Bret laughed a little as he opened the door for her to walk in.

“Okay, meet the guys.” Bret said, smiling as he led (Y/n) to the rehearsal room. “That’s Bobby over there on the bass,” Bobby waved at (Y/n). “That’s Rikki back on the drums.”      

“Hey!” Rikki called out to her.    

“And over here is CC, our guitarist.”            

“Who’s she?” CC asked, looking down his nose a bit at her.    

“(Y/n). Producer, and my girlfriend.” Bret smiled proudly. (Y/n) smiled too, but not with as much intensity. She liked Bret a lot. He was bubbly and charming, where as Nikki was more rough and dark. He was everything Nikki wasn’t. And it made her miss him even more. The guys were all talking, but she wasn’t paying too much attention until Bret turned to look at her.  

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, we took the Motley Crue thing and flipped it.” Bret laughed. “Three blondes and a brunette.”  

“It works.” (Y/n) said, smiling. “Now, let’s see what you got.” She took her seat, ready to watch them.

The group began to play, and Bret looked at (Y/n). She was watching with a smile on her face. They weren’t Motley Crue, but they were pretty good. She sat back in her seat, letting herself enjoy the music.

At least it would help her forget for awhile.

****

Nikki was scribbling on a piece of paper when Tommy came in. Raising an eyebrow, he sat across from the bassist and read the words on the page.

“The blade of my knife faced away from your heart. Those last few nights it turned and sliced you apart…” Tommy read. “What the hell is this?”

"New song," he mumbled.

“This is about my sister, isn’t it?” Tommy asked as he sat across from Nikki.    

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never liked Athena that way.” Nikki responded, not looking up from his bass.  

“Oh, cut it out Nik. You know what I meant.” Tommy told him.  

“T-Bone…” Nikki sighed. “If she loved me, she would’ve stayed. End of story.”      

“She did love you man.” Tommy ran a hand down his face. “She does love you.”          

“Well maybe loves better off dead.” Nikki grumbled. Tommy stood up.          

“Fine. If that’s the way you’re gonna be.” He left then, leaving Nikki sitting there alone.

"Yeah it's the way I'm going to be," he looked around and sighed. He let out a soft sob, the tears hitting his bass, black from his makeup.

****

“We have a new single from the band Motley Crue,” The DJ said as (Y/n) made her way to work. “It’s a little bit of a darker song, but hanging out with the Prince of Darkness will do that to you.” The song started to play and (Y/n) felt her breath catch in her throat, hearing Vince sing such twisted things about someone being so in love that he had to kill the girl who didn’t love him anymore. Her car phone rang then. She knew it had to be Vanessa.

“Hello?” (Y/n) answered.

"Did you hear the new song?" Vanessa sighed. She had broken up with Jovi and was at her new apartment.

“I know...I just heard it.” (Y/n) sighed. “Nikki wouldn’t hurt me. But that scares me…”

"I have no idea what he was thinking… (Y/n), are you going to be ok?" Vanessa wondered what was going on in Nikki's head.

“I honestly don’t know.” She sighed. “Is it sad that I wanted him to beg for me to come back at the wedding? I’m getting mixed signals from him and I don’t know what to do…” She rubbed her eyes. “Do you want to catch lunch today? Or are you busy?”

"Let's grab some lunch," Vanessa smiled. "Haven't gotten a chance to talk to you in a while."

“Okay. Pick a place. I’ll meet you there.” She sighed. She was so unhappy at MCA. She wanted to be back with her boys. “Talk to you later Nessa.”

Vanessa gave her a local restaurant they could meet at for lunch before hanging up.

(Y/n) went through her day and soon was heading to meet Vanessa. She could’ve sworn she saw Nikki walking by at one point, but she knew it was impossible. She took her seat at the table.

“Hey Nessa.” (Y/n) said tiredly.

"Hey girl," she gave her a hug. "You look…" Vanessa trailed off.

“Like shit?” (Y/n) asked with a bit of a laugh. “Not used to doing this much work without speed in my system...” Without Nikki worrying about her, she could take it again if she wanted to.

"It's called normal! You don't need it in your system it was making you crash hard and it can hurt you." Vanessa said as she looked down at her hands. "I think that’s one of the reasons that I left Vince…"

“Tommy says he misses you.” (Y/n) said. “Heather makes me come over for dinner once a week. And we don’t mention…” She closed her eyes. “What are we doing with ourselves Nes?”

"We fell for guys who weren't ready for us yet," she sighed. "I heard from Mick that Nikki is spiraling hard and fast."

“I wanted to kiss him at the wedding. I wanted to pull him back out of that dark pit he’s in. But I don’t think he’s spiraling because of me. It’s the drugs.” She closed her eyes. “How are you and John?”

"Broke up a while ago," she shrugged.

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) patted her hand. “Bret wants us to move in together. I don’t know.”

"What are you feeling I mean how long have you guys been together?" Vanessa too a bite of her food.

"It'll be a year in a few months. I just don't know. I…" MTV was playing on the TV. Smokin' in the Boys Room was on. "I don't love Bret."

“Then why stay with him?” Vanessa looked at her. “It’s the reason I broke up with John, I liked him, he was nice… but… something was missing you know?” she whispered.

“I don’t know. I haven’t found a good reason to leave him. He’s a nice guy. He really is.” She ate her food.

“Yeah, but… if you aren’t happy… is it really worth it to stay?” Vanessa sighed. “It wouldn't be fair to him if you did (Y/n).”

“Yeah, I know.” She offered Vanessa a small smile. “You know, I heard Vince is single.”

“I know, he called me while he was drunk and high… I love him but… I tried to help him after Razzle… he needs someone better, if he couldn't change for me maybe for someone else,” she shrugged.

“That’s what I think about Nikki.” It was the first time his name had came from her lips in a long time. “If he won’t give up the drugs for me, maybe there’s someone out there he will give them up for.” (Y/n) sat up straight. “Let’s go get tattoos tonight.”

“Let’s go,” Vanessa smiled as she placed cash on the table. “We going to Mike?” MIke was their tattoo guy. He always knew what they needed.  

“Would I ever go anywhere else?” (Y/n) asked with a laugh.

As they made their way to the strip, Nikki and Vince were already there.

“She goes out with Bret Michaels… I mean…. I have blond hair… I think….” Nikki looked up at his dyed black hair. “I..I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it… I just feel empty… but I was feeling empty before I met her you know?”

“Yeah man. But there for that time you guys were together, she made you feel whole, didn’t she?” Vince asked. His eyes widened. “Oh holy shit.”

NIkki tried to turn and almost fell, “What?” he tried to find what Vince saw. Vince grabbed his chin and pointed his head towards the opposite sidewalk. “Oh fuck,” he whispered as he was sure his heart skipped a beat because of her and not the drugs that were wearing off.

“They’re going to Mike’s.” Vince announced. “Looks like she got a taste for tats. I like those wings on her back I saw at Tommy’s wedding.”

“Yeah, she did…” he muttered remembering the one tattoo she got for him while they were dating. “I messed up and I just need another fix… did I tell you that Doc brought my fucking mother to see me… I just… I hate the bitch and then she asked about (Y/n) and… I hope blondie is making her happy.” Nikki rambled as he felt the walls closing in.

“Why don’t we go over there and you tell her all those things you told me after the wedding? All those things you wanted to tell her, but you didn’t.” Vince suggested. “Or we can go to the club and you can fuck another girl who looks like her and kick her out without even getting her name right.”

She isn’t going to want me back, I can't stop my highs so right now… I just need to feel something anything… she’s happy I can’t ruin that… besides, I have a reputation to protect now.” The label kept pressure on him to keep being the bad boy to keep up with the drugs. He sighed and looked at Vince, “come on let’s get inside.”

“Okay…” Vince gave one last look over at the tattoo shop before following Nikki into the strip club.

It happened again, this time he went for the blonde that looked like her when he first met her. He could just imagine the happier days. Her name escaped his lips and no matter what the girl he was with muttered he still called out to (Y/n). Not realizing he was being rough with the girl. The drug taking over his inhibitions.  

He kicked her out after he was done and threw himself down on the bed, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

“Nikki, where are we going!” her voice echoed. He smiled at the blindfold around her eyes.

“That is the surprise sweet girl,” he whispered in her ear as he led her to the car and helped her in. he had everything planned, just the two of them, a nice night, and a happy ending. He drove up to the restaurant and smiled. He helped her out of the car and they were led inside. He had everything planned. He was able to get them a nice secluded part.

“Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear, undoing the knot on the blindfold.

“Always.” She gave him a little smirk.

Taking off the blindfold he smiled, “Happy birthday sweet girl,” he kissed her cheek.

“Oh Nikki! It’s beautiful.” She turned and kissed him. “Thank you my silly boy.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I love…”

Suddenly, he was standing there alone.

“(Y/n)?!” he looked around. All he saw was darkness. Nothing around him. He looked around frantically. “(Y/n) where are you?!” He turned around as the darkness started to lighten. He turned to see a hospital bed, her laying there, eyes closed and alone.

“Nikki, I need to talk to you.” He heard her voice. He spun around to see a younger him, high as a fucking kite, sitting on the couch in their living room. “I...I was pregnant.”

The words filtered but they didn’t register, “that’s nice babe,” he said and propped himself on the couch holding her. He didn't realize that what he said would cause her more pain. “Having kids would be cool.” He didn’t realize she was crying, or why days later, she wouldn’t let him touch her.

But now he realized what it all meant. Flashes of times she said she was fine, but the light in her eyes seemed to fade. The way she helped clean him up when he got off his high. The times he would just be in a haze of drug induced bliss. The sadness in her face. He felt it all. The regret setting in, the pain he caused her.

Then there it was. The house. The glass laying everywhere, his blood staining the soft carpet from cuts. The picture of Disneyland laying on the ground. Her empty drawers and closet. The feeling of coming home from tour and seeing that her things were gone. The feeling of going to her office and seeing that she had left Elektra. It was enough to wake him up.

With a gasp he sat up in bed alone looking around. He felt the tightness in his chest, the feeling of loneliness. The words from his memories echoing in his head. And he did the only thing he could do then to stop them.

He reached for his needle.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff @unknownoblivion

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags:   @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches @knockemdeadgirl

[minotaurman-ayjay]

Do not drink and drive

This post details the car accident that I survived.

It will be about how the accident occurred.

What happened to me (Injuries, Court).

What happened to the drunk driver (Prosecution)

and where I am, now.

TW: graphic details of car accident trauma, pictures of x-rays (when I get them). Details of out-of-body experience, and potential glimpse on the afterlife.

In 2015, I had just bought a brand new car, a black and gunmetal grey Volkswagen CC. I loved that car, and I was going to treat it like it was my baby. I bought the big, thick manual that details every part of the car so I can fix it myself if I ever need to.

I didn’t even have the car for more than 3 months.

I was at an intersection, about to go north (one way) on an entrance ramp to the highway. I saw these headlights coming toward me. I didn’t think anything of it at first until I remembered “Wait a minute, this is one way.” Before I could finish that thought, he had collided head-on with me. “Why didn’t you react earlier? You knew you were on a one-way street.” Let me tell you, even though you *know* you’re on a one-way street, to see headlights coming at you is confusing. It’s disorienting, and usually it’s way too late when you remember that YOU’RE the one going the right way, and this motherfucker is about to hit you.

He was in a huge pickup truck called a “dually”, it’s a pickup truck that has a set of two wheels in the back and has a hell of a lot of horsepower.

When he collided with me, his truck went over my car, nearly crushing me in the process. One of his tires was about 3 inches away from my face.

I was pinned under the dashboard, I had lost consciousness. I vaguely remember someone holding my hand and saying “It’s going to be okay. Just stay with me.“  I had an out-of-body experience, I saw myself getting extracted out of the car. I was pretty beat up, my face was scuffed up and bloody from the scrapes of the airbag hitting me. When I was pulled out of the car, my limbs were listless like noodles. I remember seeing my legs… My feet, in particular. Both of my ankles were dislocated, and my hip was dislocated and it looked like it was nearly coming out of my skin.

This is where my out-of-body experience ends. I briefly regained consciousness in the ambulance, I don’t remember if I had an exchange with the EMTs or anything like that, because soon I had fallen asleep again.

Then I remember waking up at this house that I had never seen before. There were people everywhere, music being blared, it looked like a party. I approached the door and my friend Evan, who had died several years before in an accident where he was killed by drunk driving, was at the door with is arms crossed.

I’ll never forget this shocked expression on his face as he asked me "What the hell are you doing here?” and I was like “What are you talking about? You invited me.” He scoffed “Like hell I did, man. Go back home. You’re not supposed to be here.” I thought he was just being an asshole, and we were always confrontational with each other… But it’s all in jest. I posted up to him and said “Fuckin make me, man.”, and then he shoved me.

The shove was so realistic, so jarring, so violent that I had fallen backwards— and then I woke up in the hospital, and according to my mother I was on my way to Radiology to get xrays when I came to. I don’t know if I caught a glimpse of some afterlife, or if I was dreaming, but it was very real. My mom knows that I almost died, and watched me fight for my life.

Anyway, they had to restrain me because the drugs that they had given me made me combative. I was taken to the hospital where my mom works, as it was the closest hospital to the accident scene. She was also on duty that day, and for her to see me like that *had* to have been traumatizing to her.

Apparently I continued to go in and out of consciousness, and when I finally came to for good, I was in the ICU.

The moment I woke up, I felt this whole body pain, like an elephant was sitting on me. Not just my chest, but my whole body felt crushed under this gigantic weight. It was so much pain that it literally felt like weight, like I had woken up on a different planet and the gravity was crushing me. I begged and begged and begged for pain relief, I couldn’t breathe. My mom put the morphine control in my hand and told me to press it. I clicked that thing probably 4 or 5 times. It probably only worked once, but by then I didn’t care. I was so divided from the pain that it didn’t matter anymore.

My mom told me what happened, and what my damage was.

1) I had brain damage and a severe concussion. I was monitored in the ICU for 3 days to make sure I didn’t have a brain bleed they couldn’t detect.  (I can’t remember the details of the brain damage). I had to relearn words, I had to relearn how to talk without stuttering or forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence, or having a word just disappear on me. This still happens from time to time.

2) My sternum had been displaced. Meaning it was fractured and pushed inward. Had my sternum been pushed in any further, I would have died. To this day, I still live with this. Because of this I cannot bind. I still cannot afford the surgery necessary to reposition my sternum.

3) My hip was so severely dislocated that it broke the acetabulum. This is the socket that cradles the ball joint in your hip. I still live with hip complications to this day. Because of this dislocation and the missing piece of acetabulum, I have degenerative osteoarthritis in my hip. I am a fall risk without a cane. I need a hip replacement, but surprise, I cannot afford the surgery.

4) Both of my ankles were dislocated and had bilatural fractures… Which means I had fractures on both sides of both ankles. One of the ankle bones was crushed beyond repair. I needed rods, plates, screws, and a bone graph. I still live with ankle complications to this day. Because of the surgeries and extensive injuries, I have degenerative osteoarthritis in my ankles. If I am to be on my feet or walking for more than an hour, I need to wear boots that are high topped to support my ankles. The drunk driver’s insurance was able to cover these surgery… However, as it became apparent over the years that I needed more surgeries and had more complications because of the MVA, it turned out that the drunk driver had changed auto insurance companies. Since America is the Greatest Country In The World™, health insurance providers DO NOT COVER INJURIES THAT ARE A RESULT FROM CAR ACCIDENTS. You have to go through the at-fault party’s Auto Insurance to get your bills paid. However, SOME health insurance companies WILL temporarily cover what is needed and will go after the at-fault party’s health insurance on your behalf.

But since this fucking shit smear changed insurance companies, I am absolutely fucked, and I can’t track him down to sue him.

5) I have damage to my eardrum. Luckily, it was not punctured by the force of the airbag hitting the right side of my face.

6) I have nerve damage in my knee (somehow? I don’t understand it, either) I can’t kneel on it. I either feel nothing (like the body part isn’t mine or something?) or excruciating pain when I try. There is no in between. Sometimes the nerve damage *itches like fuck*, but I cannot scratch it, as I will either feel nothing, or it will hurt.

7) I have nerve damage on the tops of my feet. I do not like it when my feet are touched. It causes electric shock feelings that travel to my ankle. It’s not pretty.

8) I have nerve damage in my face. I have Trigeminal Neuralgia that is secondary to trauma. Look at my “bloggy” tag to learn more about this.

9) I now have fibromyalgia. When it’s cold, or rainy, or if I’ve pushed myself too much, I will wake up the next morning feeling like I just came to in the ICU. Where I feel this full body pain that’s like an excruciating weight. Luckily, marijuana helps me with fibromyalgia and trigeminal neuralgia flare ups. I take a 2,000mg of gabapentin (spaced throughout the day) and 200mg of seroquil to manage them.

10) I have PTSD that is triggered by the smell of hot metal, the sound of circular saws, and by car accident scenes in movies. It took me forever to get over being gunshy in an intersection, and to even drive at all.

I was bedbound for 2 months, and wheelchair bound for 8 months. I was taking physical therapy and speech therapy for a year before my restitution to cover it had run out.

Needless to say, my quality of life had taken a drastic decline, compared to me pre-accident. Before the accident, I was in shape again. I was gaining muscle and I was close to meeting what I call my “healthy dad-bod” goals. I was going to go to police academy that year, but that was because I wanted to be an investigator for the Crimes Against Children Unit. I’ve had to reshape my future entirely. At the end of it all, my bills were $110,000. Luckily, I only had to pay $10,000 out of pocket, and that’s *LUCKILY*

So, what happened to the drunk driver?

The trial did not last long, he has been given 10 years probation (and straight to prison if he violates), mandatory rehabilitation, and to pay me restitution. Which had recently run out. I don’t know what has become of him, because as I said, I cannot track him down to sue him for my ongoing injuries.

If you are EVER considering driving while drunk, don’t fucking do it. Do not think you are invincible. Do not think it’s not going to happen to you. Do not think you’re not going to hurt someone. I don’t care if you are a “functioning alcoholic” or a “seasoned drinking veteran”, you WILL fuck up. This man that had hit me was 63 years old, and has probably been driving drunk for who knows how long. And once you DO fuck up, you are going to kill somebody. IF they DO manage to live through YOUR mistake, their life is changed *forever* and their quality of life will NEVER be the same again.

You are garbage the moment you sit in the driver’s side with booze in your blood.

[stusbunker]

Featuring: MoC!Dean x Demon!reader, Original Female Character, Castiel, Charlie, Crowley, Rowena

Summary: Our reader’s back and there’s gonna be trouble! Charlie brings back the Book of the Damned and CC asks Castiel for something he doesn’t want to give.

Warnings: This is super long, possession, show level violence, rough sex, face fucking, oral sex (male and female), hair pulling, dirty talk, dub!con smut.

Series Masterlist

*^*

March 30, 2015

Munich, Germany

           The city was old, streets wrapping around buildings at harsh angles and in varying stone. But that was what you needed, age, wisdom, answers. At your sendoff, Crowley had given you a name, occupation, and a proverbial pat on the head. You didn’t know why you complied so easily; until you heard the first peal of laughter from a stranger on the sidewalk. Humanity. To be surrounded by life was worth the mission. Language and social niceties came back quickly, adjusting from vessel to vessel as you navigated the foreign byways.

           It was easy to forget your time with Dean here; to imagine yourself something newly minted in this different world. The power you found during your initial escape in that lonesome field painted with bull’s blood, was nothing compared to the possibility of redemption. It taunted and teased you with that naïve hope only Crowley’s goading could coax from your battered mind. He hadn’t mentioned your previous time running his errands, nor the Winchesters, but he didn’t have to. He had your number, and once you started stacking the clues together; you had his.

           The shop was warded to the nines, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t watch from the café across the street. You handed the server a fifty Euro banknote and asked to be left alone, freeing your table for the lunch hour and beyond. Hell, the teacher of eternal patience had left you with nothing to do but absorb and endure. So, you did what you knew; you waited. Eventually, the shopkeepers eased from the side door, their business hours long faded into the setting sun.

           They each cast a hasty glamour once they spotted you. Too late; you had their scent now. Carefully you rounded the building the opposite way they had headed, the alleys were dark and narrow so much more inconvenient for the humans you tailed. Their hurried footfalls remained unmasked, up and over the next embankment. You didn’t flinch as they separated, trying to confuse you further. They only managed to spread their magic too thin and soon you had gained on the rasping breaths of the one that had decided to go north.

“I’m not after you, you know. I’m looking for someone else,” you said in blunt German.

“I know who you work for,” the rough voice answered in accented English.

“Then you know it is easier to give me the information than wait for the consequences.”

His middle-aged face appeared as he dropped his last barrier from your shining black eyes. He pushed off the brick wall and squared his stance, hands dangling and fingers working in distracting movements. You pulled the handgun from your waistband and met his bluff. No one expects a cowboy duel in the Fatherland, but nothing about your afterlife made sense.

“You want to draw a little more attention to yourself there? Bullets don’t scare me, demon,” he spat out the last word as if he was some holy man, some saint worthy of a judgement.

“Witch killing bullets might slow you down a tick though, yeah? Witch.” You said it how it felt best on your tongue. You spoke over your shoulder to the one who had rounded back, failing to trap you, “thanks for joining us. All I need is for one of you to talk and then we can all go home. Easy peasy.”

“What does it want?” The one still hidden from sight demanded from the one staring down the barrel of your gun.

“Information,” you answered evenly.

“On who?”

The man shook his head at his partner; the name in your head reaped more fear in the witch than Crowley. The silent conversation dragged between them and you decided incentive was necessary at this point. If Crowley’s reputation wasn’t enough, enforcement needed to make up for it. You pulled the hammer back and aimed.

“Alright, alright, what do you need to know?”

“Give me everything you have on Rowena MacLeod.”

*^*^*^*^

April 1, 2015

Inside Man

           If Dean was avoiding CC, then he was. If CC was avoiding him, he had no idea. It was almost too easy to be with her in the quiet library or even the cavernous garage, now. Maybe it was the non-human thing, but Dean didn’t really notice her anymore. A chameleon in any room, there, only when she wanted to make her presence known, otherwise she had become as peripheral as furniture. So, it was with the same regard as to a bookcase that Dean called Rudy, begging to be his back up on a case. Sam had his mime movie thing and Dean had his cabin fever. Bupkis it was.

           He slipped into the driver’s seat and headed to nowhere in particular, the purples and greens of twilight kept at bay with Baby’s headlights. Dean needed something normal, something expected, something as easy as his hands on the wheel and his cassettes in the deck. This was where he belonged, where he was himself and how he could make sense of things. Now with what the Mark and the world had done to him, he needed it more than ever. Without Sam’s constant vigilance and CC’s over accommodating methods; Dean needed to feel like Dean again, even if it was just for the forty-mile drive to a douche filled sports’ bar.

           He switched to the radio about twenty minutes down the road, letting a familiar snare walk and bass line fill the car. He started singing along, drumming his fingers on the downbeats. Dean let himself sink into the music, the carefree joy of belting out crescendo after crescendo. His voice cracked on a lyric and he stopped to swallow as it all hit him. He missed her. He fucking missed the demon. He finished the song, words hitting him harder on the other side. He ignored the tightness in his chest and the shake to his hands. Thinking it made it real and the reality of longing for something, someone like that made his stomach pitch. But it wasn’t disgust, it was grief.

           Dean yanked his thoughts out of the depths and brought them back to surface survival as he pulled into the parking lot. The faux neon signs reflected on the Impala’s freshly waxed hood. The meager groups were congregated around the pool tables and Dean decided to try his luck.

           A few beers and a pool hustle later; Dean realized he should have stayed in for the night. Rowena had set a pack of rabid frat boys on him and he had to reign in every ounce of his control to stop from gutting them all.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dean had the tiny woman pinned to the bar after her spell failed to even give him a nosebleed.

“Saving my son!”

Dean’s confusion was dwarfed only by his surprise. “Your son?”

“Crowley,” she challenged him, adding another shock to the moment.

“Crowley Crowley?!”

“My son is a king! A god, or he would be if you didn’t—You snap your fingers and he comes running like a wee lapdog.”

Dean started to back away, missing whatever blame he held in this scenario. “Lady I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re a good influence on him. That’s why you need to die!”

“Well, sorry your little light show didn’t work,” Dean held her fast, he wasn’t going to underestimate her now.

“Oh, I’ll try again,” she whispered the promise that sent a chill down his spine.

“What, you think I’m just gonna let you walk outta here?” Dean matched her menacing smirk.

“I think, you’re a hero. You could have killed those men, but you didn’t. Because they’re innocent.” She winks at him then, taunting him even with the knife to her very pale throat. “Cuz, you’re the good guy and you want them to live. But the spell I cast will DEVOUR them from the inside out, just like it did that girl.” She knew exactly how to use her powers and wiles against him. “I’m the only that can save them. What’s it going to be, HERO?”

Dean recoiled, releasing Rowena as he stepped back to allow her the chance to reverse the damage she had caused. “Fix ‘em up and go.”

“So civil, aren’t you?”

“Lady, I think I’m being the, bigger person here? You did just try and kill me.”

“Well, bigger isn’t always stronger, is it? Brains are a muscle you might want to, strengthen?”

Dean rolled his eyes behind her back. Lithely, Rowena whispered into each of the dude bro’s ears, pulling hexbags from their pockets.

Another bar, another drink with another MacLeod

           “Who’s the liar now?” Crowley looked at Dean a little too knowingly. Dean scoffed and took a drink. “She says I’ve gone soft.”

           Dean chuckled, because damn if the red head isn’t right, ��you have. What? Yeah, maybe it’s all the human blood that Sammy pumped into you, you know? Maybe it’s, uh, I don’t know. I don’t know. But the old Crowley, he would have come in here with hell hounds and demons and he would have blown the roof off the joint. Now? You didn’t want to fight. You wanted to talk. And maybe I’ve changed too. Here I am playing Dr. Phil to the King of Hell. Never saw that coming.”

           “Maybe we’re getting old,” Crowley waxed mortally.

           “Never saw that coming either,” Dean agreed.

           Dean let go with Crowley, explaining the backbone of who he is and how he had made it this far. Family. Then he shoved the piss poor example of a mother Crowley was clinging to, back into the demon’s face. “Does that sound like your mother?”

           Crowley knew better, but he was feeling generous. Dean had become his Achilles’ heel after all. “You know I may have seen it coming. Might have had someone digging up all her years of indiscretions since I’d last seen her.”

           “Well, good, can’t be too careful,” Dean takes the last pull from his glass, smacking his lips together.

           “She’s kind of a wildcard, but I think she’ll get the job done. Who knows, maybe it’s just me getting soft. But I do love an underdog,” Crowley’s eye sparkled back at Dean as the suspicion creeped through the man’s features.

           “What’s that supposed to mean?”

           “Dunno,” Crowley stood. “Just, uh, let me know if you want her number? Might be worth the dime.” With little segue, he vanished. Dean groaned and slid Crowley’s drink over, holding back the fruit and ice before taking the leftovers as payment for not offing the guy’s mom.

April 16, 2015

Book of the Damned

The Bunker after the Cabin

           “Whoa,” CC muttered just as she felt Castiel arrive. She looked across the War Room table to Sam who just walked in from whatever he had stashed in his room. “We’ve got company.”

           “Hello, Sam, CC.” Castiel joined them, filling in the details of their plan to get information out of Metatron on the Mark behind Dean’s back. Castiel explained in guilt-laden detail how his original grace had been restored. CC felt an ease in the Angel’s eyes that she hadn’t noticed before. Sam did his best to placate Cas, while CC started guessing how a being like Metatron on the loose was going to come back to bite them all in the ass. A stone started to worry in her gut over the words of a never forgotten dream.

           “You did the right thing. That book needed to be destroyed,” Castiel’s reassurance brought CC back to the present. “We will find another way, Sam.”

           The creaking of the entry door turned everyone’s head skyward.

“We’re back bitches!” Charlie’s spunky return continued to brighten the mood as the evening moved forward with genuine ease in the air. CC never saw Dean smile as much as he did when the red head was around. Something about her tenacity and unabashed nerdiness brought out the teddy bear in him, which CC liked to see, even from a distance. The hacker had become part of the family in a way she never had, despite living with them for this long. Thoughts of a lonely childhood and her looming solitary eternity caused CC to call an early night, leaving only a weary Sam to notice her exit.

April 18, 2015

Manhattan, KS

A summons.

Though the hope had betrayingly crossed your mind, more than once, you never thought he would actually do it. Now that you stood before Dean Winchester once more, you weren’t sure if it was to kill you properly or to fuck you senseless. His glare was that gloriously intense. You welcomed either outcome, if it was at his hand.

“You rang?” You smirked in greeting, hoping the vessel was moderately appealing. The timing of the spell didn’t really give you many options, she was a petite Latina in her early forties, though her genetics hid her age well. You weren’t in the Bunker, but what appeared to be the storage area of an old basement. Mildew and old masonry evident as you gathered any detail that held potential of his intentions. Secrecy abound; you were very much alone.

“Y/N?” Dean didn’t break eye contact, his voice cracking as your eyes misted at his acknowledgement. You only nodded, the emotion of seeing him again began to break through.

“I wasn’t sure you remembered,” a whispered confession.

Dean looked down, shame falling over his usually steadfast features, “Yeah, well I had to do some digging.”

“So, you still don’t know who I am?” Realization knocking you down a peg once more. Geez, drag a girl across the world and you still can’t put the pieces together, some great love he was. And yet he was, damnit.

“I don’t think I know anyone the way I know you.” Dean chided himself, biting at his lip and tsking his tongue. He stepped closer, eyes searching yours. You unconsciously mirrored his movements, taking you to the rim of the red spray paint on the cellar floor.

“I suppose that is the best I could ask for.” Your arms longed to be around him, to feel the weight of him against you, to feel his heart beat. You didn’t know what he wanted from you, but you knew it was your last chance at honesty. You answered his call and raised him with your shared history.

A heavy breath escaped your chest and you let your eyes go black. “I first met you, centuries ago. Before I was a Demon and before you were the infamous Dean Winchester. When you were just some kid who sold his soul for his much more promising brother. Before you knew of your destinies and long before you gave Heaven and Hell the finger.”

Dean’s shoulders straightened, one hand in his pocket as his head cocked with mild amusement.

“I remember the first day Alastair strapped you to his table, the way you screamed and challenged him. I still heard it some nights back home: your voice in agony and me powerless to stop him just outside the door to his favorite torture room.” You began to pace inside the trap, working through the memories both cherished and painful.

“How long did he leave you there?” Dean asked, arms crossed over his chest now, brow furrowed.

“I was left outside your sessions until the day you took the deal,” you stepped forward as he shook his head in disbelief. “I heard him, every day, ask you and I heard you every day, even after hours of anguish, refuse. I begged him for the same opportunity, but I wasn’t special. I wasn’t you. And then I finally saw you face-to-face.”

“The First Seal.” Dean closed his eyes as it all came crashing back and into focus.

“I never blamed you,” your voice fell, hand raised trying to comfort him. He stood just beyond the barrier of his own devising. “Of course, I would have done the same, had I been given the chance. But it wasn’t until your Castiel rescued you, did I feel Alastair’s final torment.”

“Just stop, okay?!” Dean pleaded suddenly; he thumbed the Mark of Cain which seemed to be throbbing over all of the blood he had shed in Hell. The hunger that threatened his humanity once more. You flinched at his words, your stories had brought you back to that vulnerable human soul who had witnessed her schoolgirl crush and torturer ripped from her plane of existence. “You’ve only ever seen the worst of me. Why didn’t you just kill me?”

He kept his eyes down, but you saw how perplexed he felt; you were not a predictable demon and bless him for trying to understand. Your face softened, the endearment you felt catching him off guard. “I was just getting to that part, dumbass. Love. Alastair’s final torment for me was an unwavering and unrequited love, for you.”

“We had very different experiences with Alastair.” Dean’s face broke into a smile, the slight blush on his features. He was such a dork, it hurt to watch him like this.

“Yeah, well, according to Crowley, it wasn’t Alastair at all. He wasn’t ‘that sophisticated with the emotional aspects of the job’.” You shrugged.

“He has a point,” Dean relaxed, walking a bit as you continued to speak.

“Where’s Chloe?” You asked nervously, “And Sam?”

“Chloe? She’s still kicking ‘round the Bunker, but, well, too much water under the bridge.”

“That’s our girl.” You knew she would move beyond this ordeal better than most, yet somehow you still worried for her wellbeing, even after she extradited you. Fucking symbiotic relationships.

“And Sam’s fine. Ornery and trying too hard to make me listen to reason–”

“A lost cause if there ever was one.” You teased, Dean smirked, toeing the line that separated you.

“I’m done fighting the Mark, Y/N.” Dean let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not strong enough, either I go hermit-style like Cain for as long as I can, and people die. Or I just give in.”

“That seems a very narrow list of solutions to a very new problem.”

Dean’s whole torso twitched at your candor, “Well, the Book of the Damned was our last lead and that’s toast. Anything you’d like to share with the class?”

You stepped closer; tips of your pointed shoes frozen against the magical wall of the Devil’s Trap. “I’m what you would call an ‘entry-level demon’. I got out on sheer dumb luck the first time, Dean. They don’t share the great mysteries with the cesspool. Honestly, I think Crowley has been honest with you about the Mark since you became his trusty Knight in Shining Plaid.”

“Yeah, well, worth a shot.” Dean tried and fell just below gracious. He was truly desperate. It carved at you to see him so defeated.

“Is that the only thing you wanted from me?” The pain you couldn’t hide from your words, returned to you in his aching glance.

“It’s not like that.” Dean swallowed. “You know it’s—”

“It’s better left unsaid.” You nodded, trying for the stiff upper lip, sniffling against his stubbornness. “But tell me something else?”

Dean head shot up, waiting for your next question.

“If you’re done, if you’re giving in to the Mark. Why the trap? Afraid I’d get out or just afraid I’d touch you? And you’d really turn? If there’s really nothing to lose, why don’t you—”

Then he was kissing you, Dean Winchester had stepped inside your cage and welcomed your darkness as if it was his only salvation. Though you couldn’t save him; you needed to show him everything words were unable to convey. How you wished he could see how perfect in his imperfection he was, how his self-sacrifice never ceased to take your breath away, how with just the sound of his voice you could withstand a hundred years in the Pit. How much he was loved and needed and how he deserved so much more than a worthless hell-spawned wretch could offer him.

The height difference sent you spinning, he was everywhere, broad shoulders and strong hands, clutching at your now smaller body. The danger Dean accepted by stepping into the circle gave you a rush, your core tightening as he deepened the kiss. Suddenly, you were weightless, he lifted you up, your legs quickly opening to lock around his waist and before you knew it you had tugged open half the buttons of his shirt. When you pulled the tee shirt up from where your thighs had pinned it to his sides, Dean broke the kiss, with heavy breaths he rested his forehead against yours. It had been years since you had tasted him and never with this tongue, but somehow, he still knew how to kiss you.

*^*

Dean could have stayed in that moment forever; the oasis of Y/N’s arms was something he hadn’t known he had missed until he found his way back home. Her hands were now delicate and soft, her legs shorter and waist impossibly narrow, but she still moved the same, with Y/N it felt right. His cock twitched against both his jeans and her impossibly sheer leggings. She rolled her hips against the movement, causing him to groan before leaving a fierce trail of nibbles down her jaw, her skin spiced and smooth beneath his chapped lips.

*^*

The heat growing in your belly intensified as Dean’s mouth wandered lower, his teeth tearing at the lowcut top, you pulled down the shirt and lace covered bra, freeing your aching nipples for his hungered mouth. Balancing one hand tightly on your back, Dean’s free hand kneaded your left breast before teasing the puckered flesh with the warmth of his tongue. You clamped down against the emptiness inside, overwhelmed with each affection Dean gave you.

You grinded harder against him, whimpering, letting your hands snake through his hair, your fake nails digging in as he switched to the opposite tit, pulling that nipple between his straight teeth. He watched you grow needier beneath his every touch, the desire in his eyes making you more desperate. You pulled yourself up, flush against him as you worked off his shirt. The anti-possession tattoo utterly elementary compared to the ancient curse on his arm.

You took over, your kiss demanding his submission as he backed you against the invisible concave wall. The barrier, though intangible was strong, and you used it to rest against as you slid down Dean’s body to remove the clothing restricting you from taking him fully. You wiggled the trim hips from the thin material, tossing the drenched lace to the side among the bunched pant legs. Dean had kicked off his boots, thumbing his shorts and jeans off with a swift dip. He was simply gorgeous, solid and bowlegged, but stunning all the same. Lust battled the emotional appreciation of his nudity and all too soon you were sinking to your knees. Tiny fingers raked up his calves and over his sturdy quads, heavy lashes fluttering over your cheeks as you waited for his impatience to get the best of him. Your face so close you could smell the tang of his heavy balls, eyes lingering on the drop of want leaking from his menacing tip.

Every inch of him seemed larger than before, perspective was in the eye of the beholder and for this vessel Dean’s cock was downright intimidating. The trim legs held you up, the abundant chest brushed against his leg as you silently dared him to make the next move. His hand came down hard on the crown of your head, thick fingers lacing in the dense black locks, he slid through until yanking at the nape of your neck. As he snapped your head up your mouth opened automatically from the jarring tug. In his other hand Dean fisted himself, “You don’t get to tease me, or I’ll send you back. You understand?”

You nodded, tears forming from the intensity of his grip on the base of your neck.

“Sorry?” Dean tilted his head, dramatically inviting you to speak up.

“Yes. Yes, Dean, I understand.”

He sucked air through his teeth, green eyes darkening as he released his hold on your hair, his rough thumb dragged down your jaw to circle lazily around your pouting lips. Instinctively, you licked them before he paused. “No teeth, Y/N. I know that was you and I mean it.”

“Whatever, you liked it,” you hissed before taking him into your smart mouth. Dean’s hand fell away from the base of his shaft as you worked him deeper and deeper with each test of this mouth. The lips were fuller, plush against the veiny length of him. He repeatedly tucked your hair back, keeping your face on full display as you sucked and mewled over him. As your tongue lapped from underneath, your core clenched, once again, over nothing. The gagging girth of him quickly made you lightheaded.

“You want it so bad you’re gonna choke on it, aren’t cha?” Dean crooned down at you as you looked back up at him, his fat bottom lip clenched between his perfectly white teeth. You slid back to lock eyes with him completely, delicate fingers massaged his balls as he called out into the night. “That’s it, that’s my dirty little demon slut. Hmmm,” Dean huffed and suddenly the Mark took over. His massive hands planted themselves on either side of your fragile skull and suddenly he was thrusting back into you. His dick deepened to puncturing your throat, your stomach rolled, saliva building as he growled with the fierce snap of his hips.

The pressure on your temples increased alongside his speed, delicious and terrifying. Then you began to cough, Dean finally slowed, which allowed you to swallow against the thick mucus that had gathered in your esophagus, tender and stretched wide. You dragged her nails back down his legs before letting him go with an audible pop. Then Dean did the hottest thing you had ever seen, he crouched with those damned bowlegs, lowering his pulsing cock to the generous cleavage in front of you. In a frantic whimper, you tugged your breasts apart for him, tips of your fingers teasing the dark areolas before holding the fleshy globes tight against his spit-slicked cock. Once again, his strong digits weaved into your hair as he fucked your tits. His every muscle worked to dominate you, the Mark of Cain ragged against his pale forearm, his abdomen tense behind the soft layer his other vices supplied, all overloading your senses with his power, his lust for you and just how far you would push each other.

You teased the ruddy head of his cock with the tip of your tongue, his salty juices seeping out to aid in the rough friction. Your nipples ached as your pussy sopped with emptiness.

“On you back, Y/N. I need to eat some of that before I am done with you.” Dean growled, tugging as his cock as he tried to step back from the brink. “Fucking smell you from here, you know that?” ­­

You didn’t reply, just slowly sat back on your bare ass, the cold floor sent shockwaves through your overheated thighs and straight to your folds. Your nipples puckered impossibly smaller. Dean spread out his large shirt behind you, before leaving a tantalizing kiss on your shoulder. Then his lips took over, he sucked and nibbled and decimated the teak colored skin. When his hot breath hovered over your nipples you thought you were going to cum on the spot. Each sensation barreled into the next, your legs were shaking by the time Dean spread your knees wide.

“Now this view, Y/N? I have got to hand it to you, hmmmm, nice choice,” Dean’s eyes glinted as his thick tongue found your swollen bud. It gave a dizzying jostle before licking broad strokes up and down your lips. Spreading you wide, Dean gathered your juices with his skilled fingers. You half laughed and half moaned when, at long last, your trembling cunt earned its fill. Dean’s fingers worked into you as he sucked gently on your bursting clit.

“Is it sweet enough,” you teased back, watching him lavish you, drunk on your sex. His scruff shown with your arousal, his whiskers adding roughness along your tender apex, further blurring the lines of pain and pleasure.

“You know what’s the most messed up part?” Dean whispered, sliding back to watch his fingers disappear inside you. “I don’t know this chick and I don’t care. I am just fucking you. Not Chloe, not anyone else. Right now, it’s only us. And I should care and I’m sure I am going to hate myself tomorrow. But that feeling of not caring?”

“I’d call it freedom. Best kind of bittersweet.” You sighed, reaching up to stroke his temple. His closed his eyes and you finally saw how bone-tired he was.

“I hate being this scared, Y/N. It’s not who I am.” His fingers never stopped; his mouth ghosted over every sensitive crease as if the act alone was penance for his confession.

“Dean?” Your voice hitched.

“Yeah?” Dean placed tiny pecks along the inside of your thigh, his voice impressively soft.

“I really need to cum. You make me feel so good, but I can’t—” you broke off into a gasp as he added a third finger inside you, his tongue pressed wide and forceful against you. You didn’t know if it was his admission or the added effort once you begged for it, but less than two minutes later and your climax overcame you. Waves of heat flooded your system as everything contracted. Then the break and you fell: unwinding with the stuttering pulses. Dean pulled you through it, his fingers’ pace slowed in calculated increments. Just as he slipped from your clutches, he made sure to nuzzle your mound before easing up to his knees.

With a tempered swat at your knee, you caught his drift, rolling completely over you rocked back to give him another angle to admire. You arched your back and shimmied your shoulders to stretch out the tension that had settled as you braced for your orgasm. You couldn’t see him, but you knew Dean was centering himself behind you, his damp fingers coating his length as it returned to its full glory. You squared yourself, knees below hips and shoulders over splayed palms, ready for whatever he would give you.

Dean nudged your knees farther apart, causing your upper half to lower onto your elbows, the cold stone floor stiff beneath your thin joints. Ass bared and ready. “I want you to tell me, who I am.”

“Deeeeeeeeannnnnnn.” You keened as he stretched you open, even his fingers couldn’t prepare you for the heavy steel of his cock.

“And?” he slowly rolled his hips, barely hitting that secret spot, as if by accident. He was fucking vindictive.

“Dean fucking Winchester.”

“That’s more like it, Y/N.” Dean built up his rhythm.

“Hunter.” You mewed.

“What else?”

“Mark Bearer?”

“And?” His teeth were clenched now, the words strained and menacing.

“Knight of Hell!” You screamed as he smacked your ass, pounding into you with constant shallow thrusts.

“Who am I?”

“The Righteous Man!”

Dean growled at the old title, the darkness of the Mark at war with his true nature: protector of the innocent. As his other hand connected with the opposite cheek you tensed, unsure of what else he wanted to hear.

“Michael’s Sword!” your voice was high and whiny as everything that was holding you upright began to weaken. He took both of your hips in his palms now, dragging out of you slowly before popping his pelvis back in, forcing you to press back into him or crash to the floor. He hummed in appreciation as he spread you wider from behind, his thumb pressed against your puckered hole, adding to the building pressure throughout your core.

“That’s mine, just like this pussy is mine. You hear that, Y/N? You’re mine.”

“Always have been,” you replied plainly without even registering what it all meant. “My Seal Breaker.”

Dean liked that one, because he raised one knee up and began to work you over again. You tossed your head back to watch him over your shoulder, bending nearly in half. He was breath-taking, his mouth open and panting, skin dewy and tense, uncountable scars and freckles randomly yet perfectly placed to outline this impossible man.

“Come on, baby, let me see you,” Dean coaxed, your eyes burst open, the inkwell pools staring back at him as he thrust harder into your luscious depths. “Hmmm, Y/N, you know how good you feel? So. Fucking. Sweet.”

“Better than her?” You half-whispered, half-begged.

“Every ti–.” Dean broke off on a moan, your body pulling him as deep as it could, and suddenly you crested again, muscles spasming as a howl escaped your mouth. Dean gave you only two beats before slamming back into you with wild abandon, reveling in the tightness and the added slick. The slap of his balls against your clit and his strong hips against your firm ass an erotic symphony.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum so hard in that borrowed pussy, you want that?”

“God, yes, Dean. Fill this tiny little thing up,” You whined, tugging at your nipple as Dean began to add an extra roll of his hips between his thrusts. Damn, he knew just how to move, your channel quaked against him, another orgasm looming just out of reach. Dean slid one hand from your waist to palm the small bubble of one ass cheek, fingertips digging so deeply they’d leave marks in the morning. He brushed your g-spot over and over again, everything was vibrating, but it grew too loud. As soon as you felt the next wave approaching Dean froze, spilling inside your wanton cunt. Hot, thick and delicious Dean’s cum slipped from your lower lips as he eased his spent cock from your shaking walls.

He wouldn’t stop touching you, his hand on your hip as you slid down to curl on your side. He let his breathing regulate as he perched back on his heels, his well-built body on full display, the base of his multicolored pleasure trail glistened with both of your juices. His mouth a perfect pink “O” as he blew out a chilling stream against your lolling breasts. You groaned and rolled back up to all fours, biting his delicious thigh as you snaked up his body to steal another kiss. His arms encased you, pulling you in a painfully tight squeeze, the Mark of Cain, hotter than the rest of him, pressed against the lower curve of your ribcage.

He nestled his nose against yours with a satisfied hum, “Now, THAT, was not something I never thought I would do.” Gesturing to the sigils beneath your bodies.

You laughed, “Come on, not even when you were the demon?”

“Okay, maybe once, but Sam was in the room, no way he was getting a free show.” Dean winked down at you, which you eye-rolled away, letting the black slip away for effect. This was it: you felt the inevitable end approaching like a derailed train. You couldn’t look away or sidestep the onslaught, you just had to let it happen. If Dean would let go of the brakes, it would all be over soon.

“Do you know what you’re going to do?” You asked softly, letting your hand rest just below his tattoo, head against his collar bone.

He shook his head, “Not a clue, but I had to see you again, in whatever way I could.”

“Well, you could have come to me,” you teased, “I’m pretty sure Knights get all access passes.”

“I’d much rather come in or on you, sweetheart.” He grinned, what an ass. You shoved him away playfully, setting these carefree moments to memory. Even if you were both shit at coping, but professional at bullshit, at slapping on a mask for everyone else’s benefit. Well, Dean the later at least. You didn’t care much for anyone other than yourself, him and CC, if you were being honest. Which you weren’t.

“I don’t think I could handle if you went back, you deserve better than Crowley’s crap-dom.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I can’t die then.” He kissed you gently. “And won’t be going on another karaoke tour anytime soon.” There were so many things you wanted to say and none of them sounded like what he needed to hear. So, you sat there in silence, naked and blissed out upon the grimy floor of a forgotten warehouse in Dean’s arms.

***

He had fallen asleep, with his flannel as a pillow and his jeans thrown back on, unzipped and rumpled, he snored lazily at your side. It was some surrealist painting unraveled, he was raw and clammy with every spare patch of skin reaching across fictitious distance between you. He grumbled senselessly as you watched him, the vessel’s pleas growing with each passing minute. You kept your exploits from her, but she still knew she wasn’t safe there. The wrongness of losing perspective fostered the alarm churning inside your shared head. You savored every second you spent watching Dean dream, which was all the more precious because it was brief. Fleeting as a heartbeat, gone as quick as a wink. Nothing gold can stay.

Once the awe of it all wore down into undeserved contentment, she pushed harder and your willingness to ignore her thinned. You had work to do, a King to please and a vessel to free. You may have been a demon, but you weren’t cruel. CC had taught you how to be honest, even when it cost you everything. You wouldn’t look him in the eye and offer a true goodbye. You didn’t want to hurt him, and you couldn’t bear it if he wasn’t as pained as you.

Which is why you left like a thief in the night. The trap meticulously scratched through with the switchblade Dean always kept on him. Hastily, you left a note, prying a strip of vellum from the spell book he had used. Sam would have a bitchfit about it later, that you were certain. You couldn’t just disappear after experiencing an ecstasy of his choosing. Dean deserved more than you could offer, but you muddled through. With an air of melancholy that would make a Victorian widow proud, you staggered away on feet too swollen to be shoved back into her tiny boots.

*^*^*

When Dean woke up, everything hurt: his pride especially.

He hadn’t planned beyond summoning and facing her, but once he was inside her vessel with her; Dean had found what had been missing all those months. Dean saw his mirrored half: damned and deceitful, surely, but beautiful and blossoming all the same. He started to laugh when he fully came to, a deep belly laugh that brought tears to his eyes. Here he was, left half naked in a devil’s trap and somehow felt like he was the one doing the walk of shame. Either way, they both were. Figured.

He started gathering his spell materials as his phone went off.

           “Dude, where are you?!”

           “I had an errand, Sam. I’ll be home before noon.” Dean plucked a folded piece of paper from the middle of the old grimoire he had stolen from the Bunker’s collection.

           “Everything alright?”

           “I haven’t killed anybody, if that’s what you mean.” Dean read the note carefully before tucking it into his breast pocket, phone pinched between his shoulder and ear.

           “That’s not what I— You know what, forget it. I’ll see you when you get back.”

           “Not if I see you first,” Dean replied ad nauseum.

           Sam barked a forced laugh. “Nice.”

           “Yeah, well, you too.” The brothers both hung up, allowing Dean to finish clearing the basement of everything but the mangled sigils ringed in red. Before Dean started the Impala’s engine, he pulled out the thin scrap and reread the words she had left him.

           Dean-

                       I’m sorry to do this like this, but this one needs to get back to her life. I’m still on a job in Europe for the time being, but thanks for the one-night vacation. You were, as always, incredible. I hope you know you can call me; whichever way works best, anytime. Just, don’t do anything stupid. O.k.?

           Always yours,

                       Me

May 1, 2015

After Angel Heart

If Castiel had known Chloe Collins her entire life, perhaps he wouldn’t have been surprised by her request. Maybe, if he had known her without a demon’s influencing their entire history; she would have built up to this massive deceit with more finesse. Though angels were known best for being direct, unless one considered Lucifer and Gabriel, of course. Every way he regretted their tumultuous past; it still didn’t make answering her any easier.

“No.” Castiel glared at CC like she had suggested he trade the trench coat for Bermuda shorts.

“Castiel, please? This is really important and now that you’re fully you, you can show me how.” CC hated asking for favors, especially of the Angel, but this had gone too far.

“I don’t understand why you think I would do such a thing.”

“Because it is for their safety, Castiel. Sam and Dean are in danger with this hanging over us. We ALL are in danger from the truth getting out.” CC moved further from the backdoor of the Impala, drawing Cas out of earshot.

“Why?”

“Because, ‘Heaven’s eyes will never be far from you now and the minions of Hell will seek you out as a fortress against the light.’” She huffed in exasperation, eyes locking onto his impossible blues as the warning resonated between them.

“Whose words are those?”

“Mine, or my granddad’s, I don’t know. I had to make a choice to comeback from being comatose, Cas. I chose to live with the knowledge of my birth, of what and who I am. So now; I am a target. Dean doesn’t need another cross to bear, his plate is full. And Sam? Sam’s already walking on thin ice.” She stopped before she could expose every dirty secret she had learned from her months of hiding.

“Why are you only telling me this now?”

“Claire. You did the right thing, even if it hurt like a sonofabitch.” CC gave him an impressed eyebrow as he took what she said as the compliment she intended.

“You trust me?” Cas looked at his hands then back to CC, who’s own were tucked into her back pockets.

“Us Heaven rejects need to stick together, right?” Her smile pulled one out of him.

“If I agree to this, when would we even be able to do it?”

“As soon as possible. I need to get back at it, especially with the Steins still out there.”

“And you’re sure this is the only way to ensure Sam and Dean’s safety?”

“Fuck no. This is the only way to ensure Sam and Dean’s blood isn’t on my hands. Those assholes don’t do safe, you know that.”

Castiel nodded into a shrug, still playing at considering her offer.

She stepped forward, dropping a heavy hand onto his shoulder. “I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t care about them, Cas.”

He noted her repeated use of his nickname from Dean and the physical contact that they had never shared before. “Alright, I’ll do it. I’ll erase the knowledge of your lineage from Sam and Dean’s memories.”

“And Charlie’s,” CC added.

“And Charlie’s, of course.”

“I can’t thank you enough.” CC reached her opposite hand out and shook Castiel’s hand, solidifying their agreement. Cas took her hand and her anxiety in his, sensing she needed the peace of mind as much as she needed the escape.

*^*^*^*

Next Chapter: Finale: Just One of the Many

[benhardyisdaddy]

Love Of My Life - Part 7

MASTERLIST 

(i hope you all enjoy this part <3 writing the letter part was so cute i actually cried LOL) 

Word Count: 1,847

Your eyes can’t break away from the ink filled note in your hand. You run your fingers over the tiny, beautiful cursive words that you adored with all of your heart. You half laugh to yourself when remembering how jealous you were of John’s handwriting.

“It shouldn’t be better than mine! It’s not fair.” you pouted.

You were sat watching John write some lyrics for the band. He had ideas coming to him from left and right and was in, what he liked to call, the zone. He looks up to you and chuckles by how moody you are over his handwriting.

“You’re being silly.” he says, looking back down. “It’s just handwriting.”

“Yes,” you groan, laying back on the bed. “And yours is way nicer than mine and it’s rude.”

John looks over to you and lays on his stomach, facing you.

“I don’t think handwriting can be rude, love.” he teases.

You roll your eyes and fight back a smile. John never failed to make you smile. You look at the piece of paper next to his hand and he catches you.

“Here,” he says, sliding it over to you.

You pick it up without thinking and scan through the words, running your fingers over the almost dry ink.

“What’s this?” you ask.

“It’s a new song I’m working on. It’s called ‘You’re My Best Friend’. I wrote it for you.”

You look up to him quickly as he smiles down at you. Your heart fluttered with love as you grin and reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him hard. He smiles against you as you pull away and stare into his eyes.

“Okay, I forgive you and your perfect handwriting.” you tease.

John laughs and shakes his head at you.

“Oh, you forgive us, huh?” he asks as he grabs and pins you to the bed, you both laughing loudly.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as Roger says your name. You look up to him and he shakes his head. He sits down next to you and looks at the note.

“Well, what does it say?” he asks, almost as curious as you.

You were scared to read it. Whatever this is would be the last thing of John you will ever get. It was a little piece of him and for a moment, just a moment, it felt like he was still here with you and you were okay. You look back to the note and clear your voice before reading.

To My Best Friend And Wife,

Hello, my love. If you’re receiving this letter, that must mean I’m gone. I am so sorry, my darling. I promised you forever and then left you. Please believe me when I say that I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. We had so many plans that we never got to finish. Like our trip to Paris or the hot air balloon ride we always wanted to do. There’s so many and I’m so sorry I never got the chance to do them with you.

I don’t want you to be sad and angry, my love. I want you to be happy and enjoy life. I want you to do things you loved to do. Like sitting by the window and reading your favorite book. Or baking those chocolate chip cookies which I adored. I need you to not miss me as much as you do, because knowing you and your kind heart, it’s a lot. I need you to allow Roger to help you. He’s my best mate and he’s going to want to be there for you like he was for me. I also need you to one day be able to find love. I know that sounds silly right now, but it will happen. I’m not asking you to forget about me, I’m just asking you to one day open your heart up again for the right man. You deserve all of the love this world has to offer. I just wish it could have been me to give it to you. Do you remember when you wanted so badly to read what I had been writing? Well I promised you I’d let you read them eventually, didn’t I?

Well, my love, I must end the first letter for now. This isn’t the only letter that you will receive. I could never do that to you. The next letter will be there for you tomorrow and you must follow every order on that piece of paper. Pinky promise? I know you will. I love you beyond words can describe.

Yours Forever,

John

P.S. You’re the love of my life

Tears flooded your eyes as you finished reading the letter. Your heart was pounding as your mind was going a million miles an hour. These were the writings that he was working on! He had been writing letters for you for when he was no longer here. You couldn’t believe it. You smiled to yourself as you reread ‘this isn’t the only letter that you’ll receive’.

“He has more coming.” you say, looking over to a crying Roger.

He smiles and nods his head as he wipes his eyes.

“He says I have to follow every order? What do you think that means? What’s he going to want me to possibly do?” you ask, your face falling.

“I have no idea, to be honest.” says Rog, shrugging.

You look back down at the letter and run your fingers over it once more. This was the first time since he’s been gone that you have actually felt somewhat happy. Like a burnt out flame inside of you is trying to relight itself. You couldn’t believe he wrote you and that there’s more coming! You were so giddy and excited now. How badly you wanted him to be here to speak these words to you, but his handwriting is just as amazing to you. Roger watches as you smile while looking down. It makes him happy to finally see you not so sad. He knows you’ll be okay now. He stands up to his feet and you look up to him.

“I have no words to describe how ecstatic I am that he wrote you. You deserve a piece of happiness for yourself.” he says, smiling.

“Where are you going?” you ask, worried.

You stand up as Roger takes a few steps towards the door. He turns around and smiles.

“I was gonna let you have your time to process all of this.”

You shake your head fast as you take another step towards him.

“No, you were in this letter too! It’s both of ours! Roger, stay with me.” you say.

His face goes slightly shocked at what you had just said. You realize how odd it must have sounded.

“I mean, just sleep over. He said another one will be coming tomorrow! The mail runs early. Stay so we can read it together again. Please?” you ask, telling yourself not to cry.

Roger smiles once more and nods his head. He walks towards you and you rush into his arms and hug him tightly. You exhale as he holds you close.

“It’s like he’s still sort of here.” you mumble against his chest.

Roger smiles and kisses the top of your head before you lean away. A certain pang of sadness was trying to hit you. It was as if you were remembering that it’s just a letter. It’ll get torn up or lost and when that day happens, it’ll be like losing him all over again. Your face falls and you look down at the ground fast, trying to hide your blurry eyes. You turn around and walk towards your bedroom.

“Give me a second.” you tell Roger as you shut the door behind you.

You fall to the floor and clutch the letter to your chest. You cover your mouth and quietly sob, hiding it from Roger. Your husband sent you a letter. Your husband who you’ll never see again. How many people does this happen to? John wrote those letters, because he knew one day he wouldn’t be here anymore. While you were in the kitchen making cookies, he was planning his death and you had no idea. You wipe your eyes and calm down your shaky breathing. You didn’t want Roger to know you had another break down. Your emotions were all over the place. You stand up and fix yourself. You open your door and slowly walk back out. Roger was sitting on the arm of the couch and stands up straight when he sees you.

He knows you’ve been crying, it's obvious with your flushed cheeks and watery bloodshot eyes. He doesn’t dare to say anything to you, in fear it might upset you more. He just smiles as he watches you pause in the hallway and look at him. You sadly smile and look like a lost child for a moment. It was sweet to him.

“Um,” you say, your voice a bit hoarse. “I’ll take something to eat now, if the offer still stands.”

Roger smiles and nods his head.

“Offer will always stand.” he says as he makes his way to your kitchen.

***

After a delicious meal and talking for what seemed like forever, the two of you decided to call it a night. You made Roger a little bed on the couch and you made your way to your own bed. Sleeping by yourself still felt so odd and unnatural. Having another person next to you for years was comforting and familiar. But thankfully, when your head hit that pillow, you were out. Of course, you dream of John. You always dream of John. They never last long, but for a moment, it feels like he’s back with you. Like he never left. You were so happy until you woke up. It took you a moment to realize that it was, in fact, just a dream. It feels so real in the moment, like he’s actually there. You don’t remember how many times you’ve woken up and prayed to God for you to go back to sleep and have the same dream. You never do.

It’s nearing 9am when there’s a loud knock at your door. Your body stirs awake, but you don’t process anything yet. You move around and groan as you close your eyes once more. They open wide when there’s another loud knock at your door. You sit up fast and feel your heart pounding in your chest. You listen closely as you hear your front door open up and a few voices talking. A second passes and the door is shut. You jump from your bed and wrap your white robe around yourself. You open your bedroom door and stop when you notice Roger looking at you. He smiles with a tired look on his face as he holds up an envelope.

“I think this is for you.” he says, smiling.

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[pisceansimmer]

How to Custom Content... 

Dear Followers and Readers,

I haven't written anything about the Sims in a while and thought I would. This post is a follow up to my How To CC posts.

Sims 4 CC Tips #1

Sims 4 CC Tips #2

The reason I am updating my above posts and adding new information is because I joined a Facebook group and I see that a lot of people are clueless about how to use custom content so this post is for the newbie to the average Sims 4 user who might not know this info I am providing. I do not think I am a pro by any means. I just want to help those who might not know as much as me. If you know more feel free to comment or pm me info so I may add it to the post.

Read more below for the rest of this post. It might be updated in the future and well there is a lot to read so the information will be below the cut. Piscean Simmer

As a disclaimer, I will be talking about a wide variety of tips. I will be providing my own personal experiences, but I will also be providing strickly information that can pertain to how and where to download certain custom content. For example how to get Early Pateron releases for free. I am not writing about that topic to anger any of the early Pateron creators. I respect them and I myself support some of them monetarily. I am only writing about it to provide more information for my Followers and those who read this post. What you do with the information I provide you is up to you. I am only putting it into one post when the information is already out there.

Tip #1 How to organize your Custom Content.

The better you organize your custom content the easier it is to go through it when you need to, to clean it out or update it. I know a lot of people think that this is just a pain in the butt and it can be, but it will save you a lot of grief in the future. 

Here is a photo of how I have my Mods folder set up. You can set yours up however you want. This is just how it helps me stay organized. 

Here is how my CCWoman folder looks upon closer inspection.

Not all of the folders have more folders in them. The makeup folder does have more folders and so do the Accessories. They only go one more folder through max.

Please note do not go more than 3 folders deep for Script Mods and I recommend not to for regular cc as well. The Sims 4 can only see scripts no more than 3 folders deep. That is why I have my modders I have a lot of stuff from in their own folders. Also, you will see that I have no spaces in my names and no symbols except the Better Body folder. By putting the !!! in front of that folder I am making sure that it is read first when the files are read when the game loads. It is what the creator recommended. The reason why I have no symbols besides that and no spaces will be covered below in Tip #3 more.

Tip #2 How to deal with bad CC.

Have you ever seen this before?

It's not a very pleasant look. What it means is you have BAD CC. You can get bad CC from a few reasons. First the CC is out of date and secondly, you have the recolor and are missing the mesh. To a new CC user, it can be a bit frustrating unless you know how to correct it. You will need to download The Sims Tray Importer. This Sims Tray Importer will help you to figure out what CC your sim is wearing exactly. It will also help you when you wish to go through your CC and get rid of items you may not want anymore. Here is a VIDEO that will go into more detail on how to use the program for fixing and deleting Cas CC. You can also use this program to go through your CC objects as well. You place the items you do not want on a lot than you save the lot and you can go through it and delete as the video shows. If you are looking for the missing mesh you right-click on the file that you are missing the mesh and you can Find on Google. It is a very helpful program.

Tip #3 How to speed up your load time.

Face it some people just really love CC and they download a ton of it. I have heard some people say they have 60 gigs or more of CC. Well, all that takes a while to load in your game. This tip I'm about to tell you helped my load time personally. I have heard it hasn't worked for some but it did for me and I feel it is worth sharing again. I first posted about it in CC Tips #1, but I have learned more about why it helps since then. I'm not really sure why it didn't work for some people, but I think it has to do how they used it. My tip is to use Bulk Rename Utility. This allows you to get rid of all the .*&! and other symbols in your packages name. Here is a LINK to a video on How to Use Bulk Rename Utility. I recommend making a backup of your Mods folder before you do it. Now my second tip is to only change the name of Cas and Object Files. Leave the MOD and Script names alone! They might be programmed to work with each other by the name they are when you download them. Also for me when I update my files and drag and drop the new files it helps if the files have the same name so you do not have multiple names of the same program. I cover more about updating in Tip #6. By renaming the files with no spaces or symbols it, in theory, gives the game less to read as I previously thought. The real reason is thought that it is because in the Sims 4 only 0-9,A-Z,-,and_ are recognized as proper coding. By getting rid of the extra symbols you make it easier for the game to read the files which will make it faster to load. 

Tip #4 Merge the right way.

If you are unaware of what merging is it can help clean up your Mods folder and keep you better organized. It also gives your game fewer files to read when your game loads which can make load time faster. Here is a video on how to Merge package files. Here is the link to the Sims 4 Studio the program you will need to use to merge package files.

Please note merging package files has risks and you should keep a back up of your files until you figure out for yourself what works and doesn't. Also, do not merge mod and script files. Only merge cas and objects.  Also, don't merge merged packages together.

A lot of people merge a ton of random package files together in hopes of speeding up their load time. You will watch tons of videos that people do that. The video I shared does that. I personally do not recommend it in any way shape or form. If you want to keep your game clean and bug-free you should think of how to merge your files in a proper way before you go and just merge them all together. By merging them together it makes Tip #2 much harder. Yes you can unmerge the package files now, but to me putting a ton of random stuff together never seemed worth the frustration in the long run of fixing it if you need to. I recommend only merging sets and pieces that go together. 

Tip #5 How to Categorize and Batch Fixes.

This tip is not required for your game to work faster or to organize your Mods folder. This is something that personally drives me nuts and will help Tip # 2. This tip is to help with your actual gameplay in Cas. Not all creators properly categorize their CC packages. With the new pack of Seasons, it also has impacted older CC categories. To fix where you find your CC in Cas you have to manually fix them. To do this you will need Sims 4 Studio. There are batch fixes for some of the categories and I will cover that below. You will need to open each package by itself and change the categories to what you want them to be for your gameplay. I personally open each file before I even add it to my game or merge to make sure it is to my liking. Yes, it can be very time-consuming. But it brings down my frustration when I use Cas. To fix this when you have the files in your game already you can use Tip #2 and put the items on sims in Cas you want to fix and use the Sims Tray Importer.

This tip is what you personally like or don't like as I said. For me, I do not like random cc on sims. CC can make your sim look great but randomly not so much. I mean look at how bad some outfit are from the actual game content. To fix this you can go through each file or you can do a batch fix and set cc not to random. It as I said above will help with Tip #2 when you go through the cc you do not want and don't delete something you do. Here is a video on how to do use the batch fix and what batch fixes you can do.

There is a warning about batch fixes and the video does touch it. It can not work on your merged package files. It can also break your CC. These are very unlikely to happen but it is why I always say to back up files before you do anything to them. Sims 4 Studio will have its own back up for you when you batch fix incase as well. To prevent this I only use the batch fix on mods with Cas items added and manually fix the files before I put them in my folder.

Tip #6 How to update.

Sometimes I make sure my custom content is updated once or twice a week. Sometimes I do it more and sometimes I do it less. It all depends on how much time I plan on playing the Sims 4. Tip #1 is how updating is easier for me. You generally do not need to update your Cas CC or Object CC on a regular basis. For me, it is my animations for Wicked Whims and my gameplay mods. By keeping the CC updated you will run into fewer errors and smoother play. It can be time-consuming but if you have a solid organization already it doesn't take long at all. The files you have to make sure you keep updated more regularly are the gameplay mods. The ones that add to how you play your game. I'm sure a lot of people just add a mod and don't really think of it till there is the dreaded big updates which I will also cover in this tip. It is important though that you keep an eye on what has been updated or not. 

You, in theory, don't have to update all your mods if there isn't an update. There are so many talented CC creators out there though that are always working on their mods and will put out a new version of the mod. If you are fine with what you have then don't bother updating til there is a need, but the new changes that creators make add to your gameplay. Plus a lot of creators mods tie into each other. So if for example Wicked Whims updates and you only update that then you might get errors from the ones that work with it. From my experience, this doesn't affect the animations when the program is updated. So when you download a gameplay mod make sure you know how it works and what it does and doesn't work with. So know what you have for mods. 

When you want to update them you can go to where you downloaded them in the first place and see if they have updated. A lot of creators have their own way to let people know of updates. Make sure you also read how they recommend updating the files. Some mods require deleting old save files of the programs from your Saves. Some recommend removing old files and putting in the new files when you update. Some creators say copy and paste or drag and drop are fine.

So for the dreaded big updates. These happen when there is a new EA Content coming out or they are fixing a problem with the game. When this happens make sure you take out your mods folder before you update and start once. I leave my Cas and objects in my folder but I take out all of the mods especially. I haven't had any issues, but if you are not comfortable with them in the Mods folder when you start your game after an update take them all out. Make sure you remove the files that the creators say you should when you update as well. Do not try playing the game with them not updated in your Mod folder or it can cause your game problems. I have heard of it causing a wide range of issues from breaking a save to your whole game where you need to reinstall it. I personally make sure I have a copy of my Tray, Saves, and Mods folders in another folder before I update. After you have started the game at least once you can start adding back your mods. Only add ones that you know have been updated to the newest patch. If you want to wait to make sure that all your favorite mods have been updated before you do the update you can do that as well by playing in offline mode. 

If you update and do not have all the mods you usually have I recommend making a new save until you have all the mods you usually play with. Or you could do as I have and have a Test Save that it's ok if it gets messed up. This is generally the save I use for Tip #2. If you open a used save without all of the mods you had you can loose some of the settings you have made for some of the gameplay mods. For example NPC Control Mod By Paulson if you open a save that you used the mod in all the changes you have made will go away. MC Command Center does not have this problem because the setting are universal for all saves. Wicked Whims has its setting in the mods folder that you do not remove or update. This allows the mod to share setting with other worlds. This is why like I said it's important to know what mods you have and how they work. 

Tip #7 How to find Custom Content.

This section is why I put a disclaimer above. There are many ways to find custom content for the Sims 4. If you are reading this post then you already know about Tumblr. There are many other places as well. 

Here are some of the more well-known sites:

Tumblr

There are many Sims related Tumblr pages within Tumblr to have just one link for the site to go to, is impossible. There are many CC Finds pages that are on the site. The CC finds page that started it all as far as I am concerned was Lana CC Finds. The page is still there with a ton of CC but she has since stopped posting since Tumblr started the NSFW ban. Some people have moved to NewTumblr because of it. From Lana ashes, there have been many pages that are strictly CC finds. Here are some of the more popular and useful ones.

Maxis Match CC World

Maxis Match 4 Sims

MM Finds

Love 4 CC Finds

Sims Creator Community CC Finds

Lost CC

Simblr Direct

Build Buy Finds

Here are some Alpha Finds pages I found as well. I do not do alpha so I am not sure which are the most popular.

Sims 4 Alpha Finds

Sims 4 Alpha CC Finds

The Sims Resource

You can join the Sims resource for a small free a month for unlimited downloads with no wait or you can wait 10 seconds per download for free. The site has a large selection of custom content for all 4 Sims games. All the content is uploaded to the site by the actual creator.

Mod The Sims

Mod the Sims is like The Sims Resource as far as all the content is uploaded from the actual content creator. There are no fees with downloading and no wait. It also gives you a page where you can see what you have downloaded and if you have the latest update of it. I have noticed though that a lot of the top creators have moved over to their own Pateron pages. I will explain that more below.

Sims 4 Studios

This site is set up like a forum for the Sims 4 Studio program. This is a great place to learn about how to use the program and ask questions. There is a Creators Studio where creators upload their content into a post for you to download from. For some creators, this is the only place where they upload the content. For example Andrews Pose Player.

LoversLab

This site is an 18+ site. This site has to do mainly with the Wicked Whims mod, the animation and other adult content creators make. 

Pateron

There is no link for this site because each content creator has their own page just like Tumblr. This site is a site where you can pay a monthly membership for the content the creators releases. The monthly fees depend on what the creator sets them at. When you become a member you are privileged to early releases before the content is publicly released. I’d like to say that all the creators release their content after a while but some don't. I have seen the general rule is two weeks, but it depends on the creator. Some creators use the site as their own webpage to keep people updated on their content and have everything for free. They do have monthly donations if you wish to support them but there is no fee in content release to the public.

L'UniverSims

This site is home to the Sims Tray Importer program. The site has articles about the Sims, downloads, and forums. All the content is free and there is no download wait. It is a french site with other language translations. There might not be as much content as some sites but it is worth looking around for new content that you may never have seen before. 

Naughty Sims Asylum

This site has a lot of the creators that have been creating for a long time and some only add to this site. For example CoolSpears. This site has content for all of the Sim games. Check out the INPATIENT CREATORS for what they have to offer. You must join the site to view content but it is free to join.

Simsdom

I won't be putting a link to this site read HERE and HERE as to why. I will explain how it works a little. It is trying to be like The Sims Resource. The biggest issue with this is that not all of the content that is on the site is voluntarily uploaded onto the site. Read the links I put to understand how this can cause issues within the Sims community.

Some Honorable Mentions:

Pinterest- A great site to find CC but not usually thought of.

YouTube- There are a lot of simmers who have youtube channels. Some do speed builds, CC finds videos or mod reviews. 

Other blog sites- I personally only have a Tumblr so I can not say more about how the other the blog sites work when it comes to The Sims, my assumption is that it is a lot like Tumblr. Some creators have a Tumblr and another blog.

Above I told you of more of the mainstream sites to find content. I'm sure there are more out there, but I can only put so many in one post. I am willing to take suggestions on other sites to mention though. Below I will post about the not as mainstream sites. There are only two that I will post about but they could make some creators angry, but they are part of finding CC and I am writing a post on CC. 

The first site is Down with Pateron. This site is updated every Sunday. It includes early released Pateron content for free with no membership. The links to downloads are provided by members of the creators for others.

The second and last site I will share is a forum page. It is called The Sims 4: Mod Collection. It is a forums page with a Mega folder of Pateron only content. They have a Discord as well that they share downloads with each other. You have to join the site to view the forum post but it is for free. The post will give you info on how to get to the Mega folder and join the Discord server.

I hope this post helps you all. It has taken me two days to write and I have a feeling I will be adding to it in the future. Enjoy Piscean Simmer

[vicsep7250]

@ren-amamiyaa and their (he/she?) Golden Heist, Thief Nanako and Cryptid Chaser aus flooded my brain and now Im making this post bc I cant fit all of this in asks!!!

All right, so, idea. Cryptid Chasers, Thief Nanako and Golden Heist are all connected righr???

CC acts as a prequel, TN becomes the inbetween starring Nanako and Akechi, and GH stars a broken and older IT and slightly jaded PT.

So far CC has Yosuke and Naoto forming the brotp that fanon wanted through silly Saturday Night Ghost Chasers Shenanigans, Akiren is bein' a lil shit at midnight bc he needs an outlet and exercise to Phantom Thief. While this goes on, Akechi's ghost/spirit/rement/heart/whatever pulls pranks and shenans along with Joker (hiwever that happens).

As the Cryptid Chasers keep going out of their way to confront Joker about Arsene (bc even he likes to mess around) the other IT in Inaba start to try and stop them from disrupting the peace (read : harassing a known criminal) and this somehow leads to a falling out. Mayhaps Naoto and Yosuke break a few laws and Chie busts them, Kanji wants to know why theyre stalking his student/protege, and Yukiko just wants to keep the rumors about the inn in check bc jfc Yosuke STOP SCREECHING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE LOBBY THERE IS NO GHOST ON THE TV!

Maybe eventually they call it quits or dont bc Naoto dug this hole too deep to climb out themself and Yosuke is having the time of his life since Partner isnt around and hasn't come back to visit yet (Not sayin' souyo is canon and there but-). And the Cryptid Chasers arc probably ends here with there being some animosity towards their shenanigans , but the IT are all still friends.

Now fast forward to like, uhhh (*flings dart at wall of calendars*) 2014 during winter and Akiren's cryptid acts are now fully accepted and maybe exposed, who knows. Nanako is like 10 ~ 12 (P5 is maybe three/five years post P4 I believe) and is just going through the motions of public education. I.E. go to class, do work, get good grades. Dojima is still the same as he was before Yu came but is at least doing better at being a dad, not much but better. Yosuke and Ted aren't around as much bc Junes, Chie is transferred to Tokyo, Yukiko is busy managing the Inn, and Kanji is busy with work (as a teacher and crafts business owner). Rise unfortunately cant come visit and Big Bro now visits every other year.

Nanako starts to look back and wonder how things started to fall apart amongst the group and recalls that "delinquent" who came back at the same time the Cryptid^tm showed up and ruined the group. So now she starts to remember the good times when Big Bro came by and starts to notice some blanks around winter... Why was she in the hospital when she got kidnapled? Why does she remember these weird flashes of Big Bro and his friends and some monster?? And how come she tried to ask them anything about it they brushed her off each time???

The TV in her room flashes and soon she starts hearing things. She starts to move closer to the tv, as if she was in some sort of trance, as the sounds start to become voices to her. When she's directly infront of the screen she sees something... someone on it...

Nanako doesnt show up for breakast, or to school, and nobody seems to have seen her.

A full year passes on after that day. It starts off with a big search party of the IT and Social Links for the first two months, then after ankther three something stange happens... are people forgetting that Nanako existed or something? Everybody's starting to act like completely different peoplw than who they are too, some even end up hospitalozed due to severe headaches and such, and start claiming that Nanako was never around when she vanished or that she left Inaba or was already deamed dead or missing. This rings alarms in the IT's mimds as they search for answers, eventually all fully reuniting for the first time in years/months.

Naoto and Yosuke blame themselves bc they piece together her disappearance with the Cryptid + Ghost case and immediately get scolded for trying to pin their stupid kids game on a missing person's case - especially now with Nanako missing and possibly in danger again! Afterwards the IT are a bit on edge and a bit broken with the whole thing. Meanwhile Akechi can hear the tale ends of "missing person" and "literal disappearnace" and starts looking into this weird limbo metaverse he's in bc some shit is kinda fucked in here now for some reason. They're pretty much only together as a team to rescue Nanako.

GH in the PTs POV starts when Akiren invites the group to the Amagi Inn thanks to licrative money grin- I mean training. He comes clean into having seen something weird on the tv one late night and wants to let the gang know.

Midnight rolls around and Akechi shows up on the screen and the Thieves losing their shit is an understatement - numerous noise complaints were filed that night. Anyways Akechi decides to just play the role of "hey moron, some shits fucked come help fix it" and ends up informing them of a missing girl and this weird TV Mementos world he is in.

I would like to note that Akechi is not at all bitter or confused at everyone's circumstances in life, no of course not Joker stop crying I know its been a while but shutup theres a kid in trouble rn and youre the only ones who can possibly help her.

When the PT figure out a plan to reach this other world Goro is in (Arsene : THOUARTTHEESTICKYOURHANDINTHETVDOITDOITDOITDOIT) the IT eventually come to the very sad conclusion that Nanako moght be in the TV world and that opens a whole can of worms and burnable bridges to cross.

While in the TV world, I'd like to imagine that due to Akechi having been there for a good while it has been shaped to reflect his heart and be the new overall theme of that world. It all still looks like Inaba, but it all holds themes to Akechi and his no good terrible life. However due to Nanako having been in that world as a kid, and now for an uncertain amount of time, the world now holds motifs to the Heaven area from P4, but it's all sorta ruined and kinda darker.

When both teams get together and enter the weird Tele-Mentos world (IT in a Junes storage and PT at either Ren's pad [bc he moved out obvi] (OR bith teams enter from seperate TVs at the Inn so SHENANS!)) Yu and the IT go through Akechi's influenced world/TV Palace, finding out about his tragic backstory and involvement with the PT, but anything that can and could reveal their true identities is blurred and staticy or missing bc Akechi aint gonna snitch out who ruined his sperm donors life (also I guess saved the world too yeah). While going through the Palace the Team starts to think that finding Goro will just be an "if it happens" sort of deal bc he's been missing for years already, what if we just leave him here bc M U R D E R E R.

Cue a sudden appearance by someone in some sort of fallen angel garb who starts whipping out a full on Metal Gear Villain monologue about how hypocritical the IT are when they find the truth about Akechi's life and disappearance - they claimed to want to live in a world where no one hides in the fig, was that all a lie? Are they going back on their word, and hiding behind a shriud of lies and falsehoods once more? "You've gone and lied and hidden the truth already, what's to say you won't continue?"

Meanwhile Akiren and the Thieves enter at the very top of the Heaven TV Set and have to climb all the way down. As they do so they start seeing little murals or epitaphs about memories and people in this girls life. They see all of these memories of a happy girl who had such a loving family - both found and by blood. As they go further and further down the ruins start to look like an actual Heaven, and the scenary becomes more bright and colorful. Eventually they might run into Crow in his Black Mask clothes and give the bastard a slug on the arm and a group hug or two, bc man he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore like this.

Now that the Phantom Thieves have been reunited (Akechi : I can't leave this world The PT : FUCK, MORE PLOT) they end up thinking up ways to get Akechi out until this weird angel priest looking dude shows up and starts babling about how they are criminals and how they've done more bad than good and blah blah blah. Everyone is just all "We're the good guys, we do the right thing even if its morally grey/ambiguous!" and oh look! Another crazed maniac wants to kill us for our "injustice" *Crow has the decency to look away and not say anything* annnnnnd Heaven is locked off. Perfect.

Now maybe the Phantom Thieves and Investigation Team run into each other somewhere in Akechi's Palace and "You have Personas?!?!" "The hell is a Palace?" "YOU'RE THE CRYPTID OF INABA!!?!?" "And Im the 'Ghost' that follows him." "Wait you followed me as a ghost?" "WAIT WHY ARE THERE TWO AKECHIS??!??!!"

Oh yeah, Shadows... Akechi is still kinda in denial about the whole friends and justice thing...

And now the Dark Priest is back great ("Good name Skull" "Well I've got my moments right?").

Annnnnnnd now I have no idea what happens next and Im all burned out but AAAAAAAAA this entire AU crossover thing is so GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

[prorevenge]

Professor attempts to destroy my education!

Disclaimer:

It was my first time (when I posted this first in r\MaliciousCompliance) in Reddit altogether. Did not even know about ProRevenge. They have mentioned that my story might belong here. So please do let me know if it does not. I will remove it.  

English is my second language and I am a IT Professional, which means I do not get to practice writing in English all that much. So any punctuation, grammatical or any other errors, including overuse of exclamation mark can hopefully be forgiven.

TL;DR at the bottom.  

In my adopted motherland, I am a religious minority. I am a proud citizen now of this land who immigrated here. And stereotyping while not very common, but not uncommon here. And this story is from my college life.

It was one of my programming course that college hired a new professor for. Although I am a religious minority and the professor was from a different religion (which also, technically a religious minority in this land) that did not really mesh up well, I did not (as I still do not) care at all! You see, I myself am not much religious and my point of view about religion is from the prospective of (social) science. I believe my first religion is Humanity! Everything else is just a label!

So, back to the story, This professor was teaching us the basics of C++ (as the course was the Intro to C++) and during the final, he gave us a Final project that either counted as the entire final or a major portion of the final exam (can't recall the exact details since it was about 13 years ago). Once the project was done, we email it to him and he grades it. I do that and wait for my grade. It was Spring semester and Summer brake/session is about to begin.

Now, another bit of info here, if in a course, you get an "F" (for Failing), the following semester, you can take the course back again and if you pass, that "F" gets erased from your record and you are on your merry way toward your degree. BUT for some reason, (like if you do not submit your final project), you get an "I" (Incomplete) and now you have "X amount of time to Complete that work" so that "I" can be transformed into a grade. I am not too sure now, but I believe if you retake the entire course again, you get a grade but that "I" stays with you and goes to your Transcript/Diploma. It is extremely frowned upon and may hinder your graduation!

So, after waiting a few weeks for the semesters' result, I see I got an "I"! Immediately I emailed the professor asking why I got an I! No response! I call his office number... No response! I go to the department, they tells me that the professor have notated in my record (as I guess it was customary to do so)  that I have not submitted my Final project and hence the "I". To which I fumed up and stated that I had indeed sent my final project using our College email system. But the department states since I am within "Y" days of that "X amount of Days" (before I need to take care of that "I") and since the professor went back to his motherland for a month, I should wait for him to return and he is the only one that can reverse the "I" from my grade! They mentioned that He probably somehow missed my email containing my final project. The department assured me that once he is back from his country, they will instruct him to fix this and notify me of it.  

I waited for his return till the very last week of that "X amount of Days". He did not come back! So that week, I went back to the department and stated my case. They mentioned that since he was not back, they will email him to get some form of "OK.. I received his email with the project and I see that either he passed or failed, he gets a grade!" The Comp Sci department CC's me on that email. To my utter disbelief, that professor emails back the department chair (I am still CC'ed on it) that he went back to the email and checked! And he got NOTHING from me! So that "I" stays! He explicitly states that "I" (for Incomplete) stays!

At this point I began to fume so much so that I went back to my Department chair and the department chair now wants me to prove that I sent him that on THAT particular time (right before the end of Final). I login to the email account and I dig through and find the email; showing it in the "Sent" box. Department chair replies to that professor that the chairman concurs that I indeed sent that email to the professor. To which then, the professor replies "It may very well be, but you know how sometimes although the email is sent, it does not arrive at the recipients inbox! so I did not get it!" And right after that email, the professor now goes silent and does not respond back to the chairs' emails! every time I send an email, especially when as important as the college final project (since we are supposed to only use the email address that the college provided) when I sent the project from the college email, I also CC'ed my personal email on that! I show the receipt email from my personal email and department chair agrees that the email was indeed sent!  

By this point, I am extremely desperate to overturn that "I". I will take an "F" if needed, but that "I" will hurt my education.

I was extremely popular in our college circuit; so much so that (our college was under a "Chain Education" system  and I will not mention any names here; that had more than 20 different Colleges/Universities all across this city!) I knew the head honcho, the Chancellor and the college president very much and very well!

Now, on the last day, I go to the College president as well as the Chancellor! show them the proof and state my case (I might have mentioned to them that I am in the process of getting a Lawyer as I feel that this is a clear, blatant and extreme prejudice against me and may very well be racially motivated!)! They agrees that the professors' behavior contained a negative intent toward me by giving me an "I" and not a grade that can be the either of "A, B, C, D or F". I also lodge a formal complaint against the professor right then and there! They immediately instructs my department chair to take my project and grade it and then change that "I". Now you gotta understand that this was not a norm! The Chair does that and I end up getting an "A".

When someone becomes a professor for the first time, the first year or so are their Probationary period and if they do not make much splash, they can become permanent. And now, the Chancellor and the President of my college decides that it's  in the University's best interest not to retain that professor any longer! Simply put, they FIRED his ASS!!!

I get my grade, I am happy! Summer ends. A new "Winter Session" is about to begin and I get an email in my personal as well as college email account from that very same professor! Lo and behold! He apologizes to me for his behavior without directly admitting his prejudiced action toward me and asks me to withdraw my complaint so he can attempt to get his Job back!!!!  

I CC that email to the department chair, the college president and the Chancellor  and reply to him that "I will not withdraw my complaint at all and he is lucky that I did not involve my lawyer for the serious harm that he intended to cause me! And I wish and pray that he never gets another chance to teach again; in the event that he might try to ruin another students' life!"

I graduated from that institution so long ago... but of all the great memories, the few sad ones, this sticks out to me!

TL;DR: Professor tries to ruin my education life due to the religious differences; ends up ruining his own career!

EDIT:

Many asked the question Why do I think it was due to religious differences?

Answer: I am damn good at computers and maths. So it certainly was not for the lack of my education! I was the only one from my faith. Now I have to admit, that professor didn't say anything directly negative toward me while in class (as far as I can recall ; it's been more than 13 years since that class). But why only me getting an "I" from the entire class?! Because even if he counted the other grades and ignored the final project, I still wouldn't have failed). But what else could be the reason?! Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to his daughter (joking here! I don't even know if he had one)?!

Now some context of the grading: 99.99 percent of the students gets a grade like A, B, C, D, or F. But the ones that gets an "I" for incomplete it turns into an "I F". Means Incomplete Failure. When you finish your curriculum, you get your transcript, and when you Complete the entire degree requirement, you get your diploma and get to Graduate! That "I" and then "I F" would probably have denied me my Diploma! What good does a transcript do in job interviews without the physical diploma?!

(source) (story by bebgaltiger18)

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 10

‘less weird hairs,’ pics of me, real life questions, seasons thoughts, kpop stuff, ‘are you a boy’ erhdfnv, tutorial questions, edits, ‘safe’ cc, and umm yeah never go camping in the actual woods ok

Anonymous said: Can you do Less weird hair? I Like how good Mesh You make but all styles look Really Weird I never Would use them. I just want Usual hair? Thanks you            

Firstly, thank you for the meshing compliment, but tbh I think I make pretty simple hair styles? Like I don’t do many crazy things especially recently? Idk, I hope you like some of my hairs and can find something that fits in your liking :/

Anonymous said: Hi I really love you content and I was wondering if you’d ever do a “goddess locs” hairstyle?            

Ok I am gonna be super straight forward about this, making hairstyles like this is really challenging for me. I have tried a ton of times and I just can’t get the meshes to work out the way I like. UV mapping is a pain in the ass, making the hairline match well, and making sure none of the mesh strands are broken is next to impossible for me. Most creators that make hairstyles like this do them from scratch or spend a long time working on them for them to look right. I’m not saying ‘no’ because I am going to try to play around with some seasons meshes (I have hair ideas) but no promises :(

Anonymous said: BLACKPINK COMEBACK

i know omg jennie snapped, I wasn’t planning on buying the physical album but I ended up caving in and getting the pink versions ;-; I hope I get Jennie or Lisa photocards

Anonymous said: i know your theme is by gukthemes, but what is it called?            

PAPILLON by GUKTHEMES

Anonymous said: Are you ever gonna do a face reveal?

I have posted a pic of myself before in one of these ask posts, here are three more from the past few months :P

Anonymous said: Fav kpop group(s)???            

1). LOONA (bias Kim Lip) 2). BLACKPINK (bias Jennie) 3). RED VELVET (bias Joy) 4). CLC (bias Yeeun) 5). DREAMCATCHER (idk their names but the rapper)

Anonymous said: You play pokemon go still?

Yes! I collected cards/figures growing up and watched the show before school every morning. I’m not a ‘game’ fan but the mobile app is fun. Actually I played the Wii U Pokemon tournament game but it was boring so :/

Anonymous said: are you going to buy seasons? do you think it is worth it?

I got it from CDkeys for $25 lmao, so yes :P I can’t run the live mode so I kind of am just getting it for the new CAS assets :/ but I think the pack looks really good. Everyone always says ‘it looks like the best EP so far’ every time something new comes out so I’m not gonna say that but we will see :D

Anonymous said: whats ur skin blend called?            

Fruitpunch! You can get it here

Anonymous said: when are you going to be done camping?

I am back home now lmao I assume you sent this when I posted about not having service there :P but I was camping for 3 days? I know it was 2 nights at least refdbv also omg some camping stories:

► I didn’t have my voice for the entire trip bc I got sick with laryngitis, and now koby (the guy i shared a tent with) has it too erfdbvc

► It was blazing hot like omg I was dying, there werent showers, bathrooms, anything with AC. The tents were boiling hot, the ground fucking hurt, and it was just hell ok this isnt even a story I just need to complain.

► There was a racoon family outside the tents the first night, and we thought it was a bear bc we were literally in the middle of the woods, like it wasn’t a campsite with other people, it was the forest ;-; anyways we were legit so freaked out and up for 2 hours just listening to them walk around the tents and god it was so scary rfbdv

► As I said, I had no service so I missed the larvitar community day in pokemon go -_-

► I suck at cornhole so I was the cheer leader for a team UwU

► A deer jumped out right in front of the fucking car like RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT omg we were so close to hitting it like... it was fucking scary

► We went walking on a trail that was down a mountain and once we got down we discovered that the chairlift up was CLOSED so we had to walk back up and it was a nightmare bc we had all just drove like 30 minutes to shower in crappy no pressure no heat showers and we were all sweaty again by the time we got back to the top ;-;

dont go camping

Anonymous said: Your last edit creeps me out.

LMAO why? It isnt meant to be sexual or scary?  

@achinghearts88 said: I really love Sims 4 cc but I constantly struggle with finding safe sites and have accidentally downloaded a virus trying to get cc before so I'm kinda frightened now. What advice do you have for getting safe cc? Thanks!

Hello! I use an adfly skipper + adblock, and if both of those don’t work then I just don’t download the cc. For some creators (nolan-sims, simduction, isjao, ivo-sims, and others) I will turn them off because I know these creators aren’t ones that use the sketchy adfly stuff, but for others that I don’t know well I leave it on. I use: U Block origin and adfly skipper (both on firefox)

Anonymous said: I couldn't find a "contact me" thing but your AHarris00Britney has a broken mesh I think.            

??? idk what this means im sorry ;-; what hair are you referring to?

Anonymous said: an amazing creator and a loona fan???? i stan            

My mind... your mind... our mind..

@chocooosims said: hey, I love your cc, you are such a good creator! :) I'm not sure if someone already ask you that, but have you ever considered making a tutorial where you show us how you create maxis match hair? I mean, I know that I can already find on Internet  tutorials about frankenmeshing hair. But the thing is that you are one of the only creator who do more than simply merge 2 EA's hair together. So, I would really love to see a tutorial of how you are creating your cc! :) Thx for your time!! 

I am making a BIG tutorial right now of me making a hair from start-finish and it is around 3 hours not speed up. My guardian angel is going to edit it for me tonight and then I will try to have it posted next week sometime

Anonymous said: what university are you going to?

Radford :D it is in Virginia

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know you're a king           

thank you lmao I wish it were true, stan loona or be beheaded

Anonymous said: r u a guy or girl or non binary etc. also are you lgbtq+ at all? not to judge, just wondering :)

uuh, I’m a gay guy lmao idk about all the other terms like cis/bianary ;-; i like the anatomy exclusive to the male body

edit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ?? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. Also, I was trying to be funny by sounding proper and using big terms like anatomy/exclusive instead of just saying “i like penis” bc that just isnt as fun to say imo. My anatomy teacher never used words like v*gina/p*nis and would say stuff like that, and I always found it funny and I guess that was another reason I worded it that way. Anyways if you think I was being transphobic, I apologize. I hope you don’t think that I am transphobic bc of that? If you want to message me and talk to me about how I can word stuff better then I am around 24/7 mostly, but I’m not going to fight with anyone who is just looking to argue because that is childish. I am sorry to those that got offended but I got one message about this so if something like this happens, message me like this person and ask what I meant so that it isn’t blown out of proportion. Again, I did not think that it would be taken that way and I am sorry if you felt that I was making fun of a trans person. <3

Anonymous said: What do you see in the corner of your room when you get sleep paralysis  (;            

James Charles with breasts on the beach and im not sharing this photo anymore it is demonic OK

Anonymous said: hi! i installed your non-default eye recolors but i'm having a glitch with them. my female sims lose their face in cas and it's just like an empty spot where the face should be. i have the default eyes installed too so i know it's not an issue with a missing mesh but i'm not sure how to fix it.            

Hello!! I don’t think this is my eyes because I’m not experiencing this glitch? Did you run a S4S batch fix over everything? I think that causes this glitch sometimes but I am unsure. Try repairing your game and if you have the “no EA eyelash” mod then redownload that and replace the old file.

@sephirajo said: I found your sims 4 mods and I love the hairs! They're so amazing and pretty.            

thank you so much!

Anonymous said: In your collab with wildpixel, I F**KING love the Ivy hair; do you have any recolours of it or any of the other hairs in the collab?

all the hairs in that pack are recolored in the anathema and sacharinne palette :) and I reblog all recolors of my cc over on @aharris00britneyrecolors

[fiesulliasin1989-blog]

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