#i mean everything abt me is affected by my mental state so it doesn't make my gender identity invalid if it's affected by neurodivergence

[butcharyastark]

me since i was 15: i’m definitely nonbinary, that’s me completely

also me somehow since i was 15, in the back of my mind: you’re probably a trans man tho

also also me since i was 15: stop faking you cis girl liar

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

hello anon who has to move out but doesnt want to here

i seem to have upon myself a very important decision to make.

how should i tell my parents im not okay with moving out aka a decision that could permanently alter my life and the state of my mental being (which, for now, seems for the worse) without sounding demanding and/or disrespectful and/or non-adjusting and/or stubborn? i've never been the rebellious kid, never fought with them unecessarily despite having several, several reasons to. ive always just kept all my thoughts abt everything they do to myself, which is bad communication on my part ig. but the question remains, would it be selfish to ask them to stay where we are right now?

is it selfish of them to expect me to move in the most crucial years of my school life and leave all my friends? i dont know what to do. we were supposed to make a shift some 4 years ago, but due to my older siblings stern protests, we stayed. but now that sibling is gone too, and im the only child they have to take responsibility for (at least actively). should i also firmly put it to them that i wont be able to take the shift? or should i try seeing how the other states environment is, etc, and then decide?

a part of me thinks moving out will mean a new page. but that includes creating a niche for urself that is already undisturbed where i live rn. am i just avoiding working hard or am i just scared of being uncomfortable? i really wish i could talk to my parents better abt this. my mom has sensed my discomfort in moving and has said she doesnt want to see me depressed if we end up moving out. at least thats some reassurance.

What is your parents' reason for moving? I'm trying to understand why your parents want to disrupt their own lives (and move to a different state?). Is it selfish of them to expect you to move your entire life? Yes and no. Your parents are people too. They work and have to support their children, which is of course their choice to have kids, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. They have a mortgage/rent, they have jobs, they have friends, they have their own mental health to deal with as well.

Are they unhappy with their environment? Do they want to move closer to family in a different state? Have they researched where they want to go? Why do they want to go there? Is there a reason they can't last a few more years for you to finish school?

I think they should consider your opinion. You live with them. You are their responsibility but you are also your own person. On one hand, it is important to be able to adapt to new situations. You will lose most of your friends when you leave high school / college / university simply because your school peers will start moving at different paces and all of you will be finding your places in life. The friends you'll lose, you will probably lose in a couple years. The ones you'll keep will continue to stay in touch regardless of where you are. Technology can help immensely with that. On the other hand, if you're almost done with your schooling, it might not be worth disrupting it to transfer, especially if you feel enriched the teaching environment you're in right now.

Talk to your parents.

"Hey, can we have an open conversation about moving and the pros and cons of this major life event?"

(but maybe less, um, professional email talk XD I'm still at work lol)

If moving will affect your mental health in a negative way, then say so. It is important for them to know. If you want more information to why and where you're moving, ask for it. You deserve to know because, after all, you are moving there too. If you like your current school situation, mention that too. Having a learning environment that enriches you is not easy to find and, with the addition of a supportive social circle, should be taken into account by your parents. You cannot replicate that easily in a short period of time.

However, you also mentioned your current mental state is not great. If that is because of the looming prospect of moving, then perhaps speaking up will help. But if it is because you don't like your current living situation / environment, well, maybe moving can help. You can't know for sure. You should visit the area and see how you feel after that.

In the end, it will be your parents' decision. The unfortunate reality is that it is becoming more and more expensive to live anywhere, but wages are staying relatively the same. While they should consider your reasons for not wanting to leave, consider theirs for wanting to. It is possible that they simply can't afford it anymore and perhaps you might want to consider moving to a smaller place if you want to stay in the same area (until you finish school, for example).