#i mean also in his defense when it comes to the church thing he was going there to bring down a false priest taking advantage of ppl

[ozlices]

i dont think enough credit is given to edward elric for being the funniest character to ever exist solely on account of the fact that he MET GOD. MULTIPLE TIMES. AND YET HE'S AN ATHEIST

based honestly no other character can ever compare to how based but also hilarious that is. he literally met god then goes to a church and is like 'yall foolish for believing in god bro he aint real'

EDWARD YOU LITERALLY MET GOD

[plusvanity]

idk if u've spoken abt this, but one of the things that annoy me the most is that he says "euronymous was playing this character, acting tough, but in reality he was a wimp" then he says "i killed him because i was afraid for my life" like which one is it? was he a wimp, or was he actually dangerous?

Everyone in the early Black Metal scene was playing a character, Øystein included. This is the very reason why I'm not surprised at all that Varg wanted to be a part of their group because narcissists love role-playing. They role-play all the time because they don't have a sense of self, so they create this false ego (character) in their heads that they display to the world. This is just what Vikernes did and still does today. The part in which he calls out Øystein for playing 'Euronymous' is straight-up hypocrisy, but this is self implied knowledge.

Now, I don't believe Øystein was a dangerous individual. He was competitive, had a bit of an ego, and he was assertive, but he wasn't violent. He may have talked bad about Varg behind his back, but it was mutual. They both exaggerated to seem cooler and tougher for their peers.

Some might argue that 'well, he went to burn a church', yes, he did, but it was peer pressure. He went with other two. He didn't go on his own and meticulously did all the work, came back the next day and bragged about it. This is the difference between peer pressure and real antisocial (dangerous) behavior.

There are many reasons why Varg still insists to this day that Øystein was dangerous even if he most probably wasn't.

First of all, it is quite difficult to attack a self-defense argument in court because it permits a 'reasonable' force to be used when two fight for their lives.

Many criminals use the self-defense strategy even if it's painfully obvious that they attacked first because it buys them time. Time in which they can come up with more reasons why they shouldn't be persecuted as harshly as they should, time in which they aren't in prison yet.

Even in Varg's case, the court struggled to find a reason why he did what he did, and their conclusion was 'a struggle for power'. His self-defense strategy was nullified in the process because they court found him guilty for planned murder (he drove 5-6 hours to Oslo, had a knife, etc, etc). His lawyer also must've failed to justify the three elements of self-defense: Imminent Threat (Varg was in no imminent threat, he provoked the situation by coming to Oslo), Reasonable Fear of Harm (when someone pulls out a knife, it's over), Proportionate Response (Øystein had no equalizer, so to speak).

One thing that people seem to forget, or aren't aware enough is that Varg never ever denied that he killed Øystein.

Now that he's out, he still maintains the narrative that he acted on self-defense because it would be absolutely dumb to just admit that you intentionally murdered someone when you are still watched and still taken into consideration by police with what you publicly say. Everything that you say can be used against you, don't believe that Varg is free to own his murder, I mean he is theoretically, but it's idiotic to do so when you know you can open up a can of worms again.

Besides legal sanctions and consequences, Varg calls Øystein dangerous to play the victim. This is for his own selfish, egocentric narrative in which he expects, not even mercy, but admiration because he 'stood up for himself' and all that jazz.

He will always contratict himself based on how he feels that day. One day, he will say Øystein was truly dangerous. The next day, he will say Øystein was a wimp. He detests Øystein, that's clear. And he will use anything he can to deteriorate his adversary's image both online and in his head.

You can't believe Varg with anything he says, believe Øystein based on what he did and how he was like when he was alive. The guy wasn't a threat, he was a victim.

[jeanmoreausautismstickers]

how do you interpret the line "i'm not always okay with what he is, but these days it's less that he's gay"

!! I HAVE THOUGHTSSSSSSSSSS

i feel like sometimes he does have a problem with nicky being gay, and that its understandable!! not from a homophobic point of view, but as someone who grew up in the church, its really common!!! its so hard to get rid of views like that when they've been forced down your throat since you were a child. its something he was taught to believe and dismantling those beliefs is going to take more than Nicky being a good guardian. he can still love Nicky while struggling to understand parts of him. if he WAS homophobic, he would be much worse towards Nicky and Andrew

on the OTHER hand, less that he's gay was explained!!! Nicky uses his hypersexuality as a weapon (and I FULLY believe it is hypersexuality, coming from a hypersexual person). Aaron is right, Nicky uses his sexuality as a defense, he wants people to be uncomfortable so that he can see if they're safe or not. its terrifying to be a queer person and NOT know how someone feels about queer people, and telling people is an exhausting and neverending task. however, Aaron is allowed to be bothered by this too! its natural, and its not because he hates Nicky. he compares what Nicky says to things that Katelyn, as a woman in the early 2000s, has probably heard as well. its nauseating to him because he cares about Katelyn so much that he wouldn't want anyone to say those things to her, and that's what makes them bad to him. like he said, just because Nicky is his cousin doesn't mean that he needs to support everything he says.

I LOVE Nicky, but his actions and some of the things that he says ARE wrong, and that's okay to admit. he has flaws, like all of the other characters. he improves as the books continue, but aaron is allowed to be disgusted by how he acts sometimes. I love my brother, but I also disagree with some of the things he says, and I do my best to correct him if he says something like what Nicky does

aaron does this as well, albeit in a much ruder way, and that really shows how much he loves Nicky and how much nicky does mean to him, even if he cant fully accept him all of the time

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! A bit of a weird ask here, hope you don't mind. (I swear it's not meant in bad faith)

So, I'm new to the fandom. I'd wanted to watch the show for a while and I finally found time. I did like it, and all the characters, esp Hen and Buck.

Even previous to watching it, I had seen many posts about Buddie. I didn't think much of it until I watched the show. And now I can say... I don't see it. Like, from Buck's side? Sure. But from Eddie's? Not so much.

They both clearly act like Christopher's co-parents a lot, and that's where I'm like "oh, maybe there IS something". But outside of that, I actually see their interactions as mostly platonic. And when I see people talk about it, I see mostly about how Eddie completely trusts Buck with his son (which I agree with and makes a good point), but not much else.

So, what am I missing? Sometimes some characters are harder for me to "read", so I know there could be stuff that I'm missing. What interactions do you see from them that are so clearly romantic (at least more so than they are platonic)? In which ways do you see Eddie showing feelings for Buck?

Sorry about such a long ask. This might be more of a rant (oops). I just really want to understand, bc everyone's so sure... and I'm not. (Also, thanks for reading if you got this far)

So i’m obviously not going to tell you thst your interpretation is wrong- art is subjective and your interpretation of things is completely valid.

that being said, to me i see myself in eddie in a lot of ways:

- only son in the family, so i had unrealistic expectations fixed on me about what my life as a “man” should look like (im not a man, im nonbinary but i was still amab so to my parents i’ve always been a ‘man’)

- raised in a very religious household where there were certain expectations on who i would one day marry and have a family with (because not getting married at all and never having kids was out of the question)

- i was repressed for years emotionally (and sexually) due to pressure from my parents/church and thought there was something “wrong” with me for the feelings i felt

- i often revert to anger as my default defense mechanism because i have repressed my emotions for so long (which is something i am working through in therapy)

so seeing those things i relate to reflected in eddie, it is easy for me to pick up on subtext (whether intentional or not) when it comes to his sexuality/feelings for Buck.

you mentioned eddie trusting buck with christopher— to me this is one of the clearest examples of eddie’s true feelings for buck because he completely trusts the most precious thing in his life with Buck, but he has never even come close to that same kind of trust with any of his romantic partners… even shannon he was apprehensive about letting her back into chris’s life. this means he trusts buck on a level he has never trusted anyone else before— and not to get into psychology, but often when people are repressed emotionally, they find ways to feed those feelings without overtly feeding them if that makes sense. so eddie giving chris (who is practically his whole heart) to buck is essentially eddie offering up his heart on a platter.

so that gets that one out of the way.

as for other examples… i am going to state again that eddie is more repressed than buck and doesn’t show emotion as easily as buck does so Buck’s attraction/feelings are going to be more clear-cut and obvious.

but i am constantly seeing examples of eddie’s feelings for buck interwoven subtly through things:

- crying over buck after the lightning strike when we had only ever seen him cry twice before

- the hurt in his face when buck said natalia was the only person who “saw” him

- the way that he gets overly jealous and acts petty around buck’s romantic partners (the most egregious being Taylor, but we have seen it happen in his other relationships as well)

- the fact that he has never been able to fully allow himself to have feelings for the women he’s dated

- he is looking for a mother figure (second parental unit for chris) but has already effectively filled that role with buck

- he is constantly looking at buck like he hung the stars and the sun and the moon

- he has only started going off the deep end of this fixation with shannon after buck came out to him, and he is onyl actively remembering their relationship as what he wished it had been rather than what it was— something i used to do back when i was still in denial about my sexuality was imagining this dream life where i was happily married to a woman because that is what i was supposed to want, not because it’s what i actually wanted

- eddie is the only one who has shown he understands buck’s recklessness is less him being reckless/thinking he’s unbreakable, but that it’s actually buck seeing himself as invaluable enough that getting hurt wouldn’t affect anyone around him

- one of my favorite scenes is post lightning-strike when eddie climbed the ladder and instead of trying to lower buck to the ground immediately, he initially tries to pull buck closer to him while screaming for him

the list could go on and on and if anyone else wants to leave their observations on eddie’s feelings for buck in the replies by all means please do! but these are just a few ways in which i have personally seen eddie’s devotion to buck portrayed in a light that is much deeper than a platonic level.

i hope this made sense and offers a new perspective for you, and i’m glad that even though you haven’t seen enough evidence in your own interpretation, your first instinct isn’t to jump down people’s throats to tell them they are wrong, but instead reaching out and asking for other opinions to better contextualize why us buddie shippers are so invested in these two!

(and never apologize for a long ask to me… if there’s one thing about me i love to yap lmao)

i hope you have a lovely day, anon!! 💕💕

[brighttears]

Worship

Joel Miller x f!reader 

No physical description, no use of y/n

Summary: Joel and you met on the road, and he fell for you hard. You’ve turned him into a romantic, and it all really comes out when you stumble onto an abandoned church and you look so good up at the podium that he has to do something about it. 

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: religious talk, hinted unspecified age gapJoel daydreams about marrying you, sex in a church, smut (minors dni!), unprotected PiV, creampie, super mushy romantic dirty talk, pet names (baby, angel, darling, sweet girl, lovely girl, my dove, my girl, sweetheart)

A/n: i'm back writing, kinda, for a minute!! I’ve had this unfinished for weeks and weeks and weeks but here it is!! Inspired by hozier cause yeah. Btw there’s a twilight quote ok. Made Joel some kind of fucking poet I love making him be head over heels. Anyways I also have a request coming soon and a multi-parter cowboy au that I’m gonna finish all the parts of (actually this time) before releasing it!! Hope y’all enjoy I’ve been missing this blog <<<333

—

He couldn’t have ever seen you coming, and he never could have predicted what you’d do to him. He fell fast, and he fell hard. When he felt it coming on, like a cold, one you know is gonna be long and nasty, he told himself he wouldn't. He couldn’t. But he had no choice. He was powerless over you; like a wave crashing down on him, you came. And how quickly did he drown, and how easily he gave in. 

You had ruined a part of him, that part that he uses so often—to not give in. You destroyed it in him, you the only person that could. So he gave up, falling to his knees before you. For you. Only for you. 

This is something he would have talked to Tommy about, but he’s still miles and miles away from him, so he was all alone in it, completely lost, and it was up to him to make his own rules, to try to wrap his head around it. And god, did he twirl, dizzy in the thoughts, considerations, indignation and desire and complete powerlessness. 

You’re sweet. Calloused, but in a way he’d never seen. You smile. You give. You touch gently. You offer with no means to an end, no expectations. You bury your dead and count your bullets, but god how sharp your eyes are over your scope. How easy you wield a knife, and god how good you look with blood on you, and how indescribably good does it feel to clean it off of you. 

You do something to him, something he doesn't understand. All he knows is that when you move, he moves; like a magnet to you. 

No doubt he would do anything for you. Kill, live, fight, lie down, he’d give you everything, every ounce of his being. If you asked him to cut himself in half with that scared voice of yours, he would. But you never do. 

Joel is not a holy man. He’s the farthest thing from pure, he knows it, there's no doubt in his mind that he’s going to hell. He struggled with you, feeling like soot to your cleanliness, like he could ruin you with a touch. But, you asked him to hold you, to soil you, to come to you, so he did. 

He had no defense against it. 

Joel is an animal. He wouldn’t say that you tethered or leashed or trapped him—you let him inside. For the first time in 20 years, he was in a home. You tamed him without trying. He obeyed without you asking. 

The long grass shifts whispers against your shins as you walk through it, eyes set on the weak wooden church. Small and simple, peeling white paint leaving it almost bare, steeple tall and topped with a thin cross. 

There’s no real reason to be here, just that you wanted to check it out. Always so curious, so adventurous. He could very well be annoyed by it, but he loves it about you, so he follows, hand on the gun on his hip as you walk. His eyes should be scanning the area, which he is trying his best to do, but he keeps coming back to his view from behind you. The swish of your dress, the way it flows in the breeze, revealing your thighs, is hypnotizing. 

Dresses are rare attire these days—impractical, really, but they’re your signature. That was one of the peculiar hooks that got him when you met. Femininity like that is uncommon these days, and shows some sort of openness, some kind of vulnerability. He’s not exactly sure why he loves it as much as he does, or why you insist on them, but we stopped asking about it pretty quick, because he adores it. 

The ancient wood steps up to the church creak loudly under your feet, tightening Joel’s hand on his gun. You pause in front of the doors, waiting, but it’s silent, granting a bit of relaxation in his shoulders. The door cracks just as loud, revealing an almost crude wooden interior of the church. It’s very small, with only a few rows of pews leading up to the raised sanctuary, the altar centered with a simple engraved cross. 

Joel stays in the doorway as you walk up the aisle, looking around. He’s stuck there, watching you. That pretty little dress, in his head, transforms into something white, your shoulders bare, trailed by a long, royal tail, a tiara veiled atop your head, petals at your feet. The church stays small and wooden. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is you. It’s all he can see. 

Your voice breaks through his daydream, “This is a quaint little place.” You dance your fingers on the pews as you pass them, stepping right up to the podium. You grasp the sides, leaning forward to him with a wide grin. “I like it.”

“Mmm. Me too.” Actually, he doesn’t think much about the church at all, other than the fact that it might be a safe place to spend the night. Or the day, because you look damn good up there at the podium, smile all up on display for him. Something about being in here with you… fits, but not just because he wants to marry you, and this is the perfect place to daydream himself into oblivion about it in. 

You tilt your head, raising your brows, recognizing the half absent look on his face. “Is that really what you think about it?”

“Makes me think about… worship.” He decides to say, glancing at you. And that’s when he realizes it—it makes me think of you. This is where you belong, a place of worship, and me, here, on my knees for it. You’re no god, but you’re close enough for me. My divine. My unexplainable seraph, in the midst of this world that could very well be hell. 

“Oh, yeah?” You say, looking like you have no idea, no idea that he worships you. 

He nods his head to the chancel, “You look real good up there.”

“Do I?” You chuckle innocently.

“Yeah, you do.” 

He approaches slowly, and you watch him, smile fading into a curious look as he does . “You belong in somewhere like this.” Joel stands behind you, slinking his arms around to rest his hands on your stomach. 

“What do you mean?” You say quietly, and he feels the small breath leaving you. How he loves them, and to hold your body as they rise and fall and come out of you. Knowing you're alive. Knowing that this body is in his arms. 

“In a church.” He replies just as quiet, slowly closing his mouth and nose into your neck. All he does is breath, feeling the pulse from your jugular vein against his skin. He closes his eyes, so close that his eyelashes brush your skin, and there’s that breath. Almost stuttered, almost shallow. His affect on you. 

“Why’s that?” you nearly whisper. 

He breathes in. Because you’re holy. Because you’re pure, in a way. Purest you can be. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I feel it when I touch you. It’s on your tongue, and you don’t know that when I kiss you, I drink you. Your spit’s like holy water. You can’t make me pure. But you let me taste some of it. 

“Cause.” Is all he says. He doesn't know how to speak these words. Not yet. He tries, and sometimes it works, but he’s too caught up in the feeling of every part of his body pressed against you. “You just… fit.”

“Well that’s cryptic.” This would be a place for you to chuckle, but it seems you’re just as caught as he is. The idea alone is intoxicating. He knows this love isn’t one sided, but each time he remembers that you might love him just as much as he loves you, it’s intoxicating. He sucks in your scent. 

“You really… have no idea what you do to me, do you?” He presses his lips against your skin as he speaks, wrapping his arms tighter around you, holding you close to him. 

“What do you mean…?” You breathe out, so clueless… do you really not know? After all this time, you haven’t realized?

“Well…” Joel’s lips automatically go to start pressing kisses over your neck, magnetically called to your skin, “I guess I’ll have to show you.”

He’s not even sure what he means by that exactly, and already, his head is swimming. Joel closes his eyes, keeping himself pressed against you, and starts snaking his hands over your stomach, your waist, your chest, your sides, lips still pressing softly over your neck. It’s like he wants to touch every part of your body at once. He can’t get enough, can never, ever get enough. He wants to envelop you, show you that everything he is is for you. His body starts to move as it pleases, beginning to slowly grind against you. He’s stiff already, hips sliding right up on your ass. And as he does, you make a sound, a breathy moan, only a moment long, but it does what it always does, and his grip tightens, mouth becoming greedier, opening to taste you. His body loves you just as much as his mind, its own separate being, wanting you, needing you, seduced by the existence of your body on its own. 

“I love you,” he breathes out, moving his lips over the bare skin granted by the scooped neck of your dress as his grip slides down to your hips, beginning to roll into a push and pull of your body to his. Tongue against your shoulder, he moans, soaking up the dopamine that seeps out of your skin. You dance at the podium, bodies working together in a sultry waltz, and its proof alone that you were made for each other. 

He was made for you, he knows that, and though he didn’t know it, he’s been following that destiny all this time, and it’s all he’ll do for the rest of it. Because he has everything now. You, here in this church, he feeds on the holiness, licking it off you, pulling it against him. And hearing those perfect sounds coming out of you, he knows he’s making you feel good, almost as good as you deserve. He’ll be seeking out that limit for the rest of his life, trying to give you what you deserve. 

But he knows how good he fucks you already. You tell him. So he can’t help but fuck you again, right here in this church. Your grip on the sides of the podium as he unbuckles his jeans as he pulls your dress up and slips your panties down. He presses into you, and as he groans, you maon, and he feeds on it. Like a leech. Like the hungry dog he is. Like the victim of your elixir, he needs it, and it’s all over his fingers as he slips them down the front of your pussy, swirling his fingers around your clit. 

Slow. He likes to start slow. Soak it up. Let you get used to it. A taste at a time. He likes to bury himself deep first. Know that you're his. That he’s the one this deep inside of you now, that this seraph is taking his cock, and you like it, you love it, and you show him that you need it when you push yourself back onto him. 

“Oh, baby,” he groans, every inch of him inside of you, and he can’t help but start to fuck a little faster. 

Joel lips are all over your neck, sliding his mouth around it, kisses and licks and just the lightest of bites. He doesn't want to hurt you, all he wants is for you to feel good, and then you tell him, “Feels so good,” in that small purr of yours, holding his hand on your breast, and he groans again. 

To touch you. To hold you. To kiss you. To fuck you. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve this, but he knows he has it, so he does. 

What a sight this would be, if anyone were to wander into this church. Some big, old man with his grimy hand reaching up under your dress to feel over your chest, fucking this perfect young woman from behind, up here on the chancel. The devil fucking an angel. But she likes it. She loves it. 

“Joel,” you moan out as he squeezes your breast, and with his face still pressed against your neck his breath over wet skin, he begins to speak. 

“I love you so much,” he says quietly, muffled against you, his eyes closed, just feeling you—that's when he can speak like this, though it’s always slurred, because he’s drunk on you. When he’s buried deep, smelling and tasting and feeling nothing other than you. When he gets wrapped up in you, that is when his voice is released. “You’re my angel, you’re my everythin’, an’ I was made for you, an’ all I want is you, all I want is to taste you, feel you, fuck you, make you feel good. I’d give you anythin’. Everythin’. Anythin’ you want. It’s yours. I’d burn the whole damn world if you asked me to. I fuckin’ belong to you, darlin.” And he feels it, almost like an ache in his chest, how profoundly he loves you. “Aw, baby,” he nearly whimpers, picking up his pace because he can’t help it, because he’s too damn hungry, and you feel too damn good. He keeps his hand over your pussy, swirling his fingers on your clit, slipping a finger down to feel himself coming in and out, and how wet you are for him. He adjust his stance, bending his knees slightly, fucking harder and faster. Moans bump out of you, his singing angel. 

“Joel, all I want is you, all I need is you,” you utter, voice high like it gets when he fucks you like this, hand going into his hair, running through it, holding him there. Against you. In you. He nearly growls. 

“Forever. I need you forever. In this life and the next. I don’t ever wanna lose you.”

“God, fuck me,”

“I didn’t believe in god,” The flood continues, almost unable to even hear himself over the rushing falls of his own feelings, emotional and physical. “I still don’t. But I believe in you. You’re the closest thing to it. You’re so perfect it drives me crazy. You drive me crazy, baby, y’know that? Holy fuckin’ pussy right here.” He drives himself deeper, and you moan louder. “My perfect baby, angel, you’re an angel. And you know, I belong out there in the pews.” Joel raises his hand away from between your legs to point out to them, but you take it right back to your pussy, pressing it back into your sweet wetness. He growls, clamping his teeth gently over your shoulder before pulling away to speak, though his lips stay stuck to your skin. “I love it when you do that, darlin’, when you show me how much you want it. All I wanna do is make you feel good. All I wanna do is for you. All I am is for you.”

Suddenly, you pull away, but only to face him, taking his face in your hands to kiss him. He hoists you into his arms automatically, dick focused on its own personal mission, placing your ass on the podium so that he can keep himself inside of you. 

“God, yes, fuck me,” you say into his lips, so he does, harder, and he can feel himself bottoming out, and you cry out sounds of pleasure into his lips. But he can’t stop talking. 

“You’re a gift from fuckin’ somewhere, I swear. I don’t care. I used to get so riled up about it. Who the fuck is this chic,” you chuckle into his lips as he speaks, messy, needy lips and tongues and teeth that he has to talk around, “and why’s she doin’ this to me? What the fuck am I doin’? And why am I lettin’ ‘er? Fuck if I know—but I have her,” he pauses to kiss you deeper, the weight of his own words, of the reality of all of this, scrunching his face up. Because he has you. In this world, on that road out here, and here in this church, so open for him, taking him so well, like you always do. 

“I love you,” you say, loud and lilted by pleasure, and he groans and moans and growls and whimpers back into your lips. 

“I love you more than anythin’. More than life it’s fuckin’ self, I swear. I swear, more than anythin’. You’re it for me, darlin, you’re it for me. Anythin’ you want.”

“I just want you.”

“An’ here I am, darlin’,” he replies, then grabs your ass in both hands, a better grip for him to pump himself into you, just how you like it, because he’s memorized what you like and how to do it so he can make you feel good, make you cum every single time he fucks you. “I’m not leavin’. I’m not leavin’.” He continues on, some words hitched or interrupted by a groan or moan or whimper, the sound of skin slapping skin and your own moans a chorus to it. “I’ll never leave you. Never. You make me feel human. You make me feel right. You make me feel… almost… holy. Like I’m close to it. To bein’ right. True. I’ll never be righteous. I’ll never be pure. But I can be somethin’ for you. I can do somethin’ good for you. I’ll keep you safe. Forever. I’ll keep you safe, baby, I’ll keep you safe. My sweet girl. My darlin’. My lovely girl. I love you.” 

You seem at a loss for words, very much unlike him at the moment, but he knows that’s a good sign. It means you’re close to cumming. 

“My dove. My love. Cum for me, angel, cum for me.” He slips his hand back between your legs, beckoning your climax, and your moans stutter and your thighs clamp around his waist and there’s that heavenly squeeze around his dick and you’re cumming but he can’t keep his mouth shut, “That’s my girl. That’s my angel. So good to me. So good to me. It’s fuckin’ unreal, darlin’, how good you are to me. What did I do to deserve this?” He asks in between kisses, sloppy and wet and loud on your quivering lips, still seeping moans as you finish on him, “What did I do to deserve this?” He can’t stop his hips from jutting into you, holding your hips tight, so he begs, “can I keep goin’ sweetheart?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe back out, gripping his thick forearms, holding onto him as he fucks faster, needily. 

“God you feel so good,” he says back into your lips, starting to pour out moans. Your fingers slide around his face, cupping it, pulling him away only enough to lock your gaze. Then, he’s gone. Nothing else exists, not even the church. Just your eyes, that almost sleepy look you get after cumming hard like that, and the feeling of rutting into you, wetness starting to drip down his thighs. 

Despite how difficult it’s becoming to get words out, and how interupted they are by the other sounds he’s making, he’s always the most talkative at this stage. It’s when he finally lets himself go, unleashing himself in more ways than one. Being this close to you, this level of intimacy, it all comes out. 

“I don’t know how I got you. I don’t understand it, darlin’. You do somethin’ to me. You did somethin’ to me. You changed me, darlin’. I know I, I’m still rough around the edges, and I bet you can’t even tell, but, you did somethin’ to me. Somethin’ I don’t understand. But I feel it. I felt it when I saw you for the first time. I felt it shift. I felt everythin’ shift. You scared the shit outta me, darlin’. You still do. Cause I love you so goddamn much. I love you hard, darlin’. I think that’s the only way I can love. Hard. Like a fist. Like a bullet. But I—I’m sweet with you, aren’t I? I’m not too rough on you, am I? You like it when I fuck you like this, darlin?”

“Yes, yes,” you nod, face screwed up again and interrupting him with moans. 

“Yes,” he nods back, “I make you feel good, my angel?”

“Yes, yes, you make me feel so good,” your breath hitches, cut off by a moan.

“You deserve it, baby. That’s all you deserve. Everything’ that’s good is made for you. I don’t understand how you fit down here on this Earth. But you do. You’re an angel, an angel of death, sharp and smart and quick and perfect in every goddamn way.” Joel slows, turning his head to press his lips to your hand on his face, kissing your fingertips, your palm, breath still sharp and hot. He closes his eyes, your long moans filling his ears. “You’re so perfect, darlin’. You’re so perfect. And you feel so fuckin’ good.” He moans loud, then leans into you, laying your back over the podium, hands on your thighs to keep them around him, and he fucks harder, jolting his hips faster, face back down on your skin. He fits his throat against yours with his lips to your ear, and he can feel your blood moving and the vibration of your voice as you moan, louder, and god, oh, god, all he wants is this, you, and he wants to make you cum again. 

Every part of him is pressed into you, save for his knees against the podium. “I’m nothing’ without you, darlin’.” He buries himself deep, feeling himself fill you up, and the sweet friction of his cock sliding with your cum, wet and ready and perfect. “I’m a sinner, darlin… I’m a sinner… all up on you, this fuckin’ angel, god, fuck.” He groans, then plants his mouth on your neck, wet from it already. “I’m goin’ to hell anyways,” he continues, finding himself unable to shut the fuck up, “but I’ll take this heaven here. I’ll take it for as long as you’ll give it to me.” He groans, throat becoming tight, feeling himself coming close, his whole body warm and needy and full and ready to release, “can I have a little bit more, darlin’?”

“Yes, yes, please don’t stop Joel,”

“D’y’ think y’ can cum again for me, darlin?”

“Ahuh,”

“God, you’re so good to me, ” his hand slides back between you, laying his palm down over your stomach with his thumb circling your clit. With his hand there, he can feel it, your pussy starting to squeeze, and when it registers around him, he stops breathing for a moment, and cums, maybe harder than he ever has. His hips stutter, pumping you full of his cum, your pussy squeezing it deeper with every stroke. You grasp his hair, pulling bundles of it, the sweet pain only making it that much more euphoric for him.

“Heaven,” comes out in a breath as he presses himself as deep as he can into you, bodies united and still pulsing, your legs keeping him clamped there, thighs shaking in spurts. 

“I love you,” he concludes. 

“I love you, I love you,” you whisper. You save your words for other times, for the late nights as your fingers dance over his skin, wrapped together in the cold or the heat—it doesn’t matter, neither of your bodies seem to be able to keep apart when they have the opportunity. You lull him to sleep with effortless poetry, anything that comes out of your lips. Every word, every sentence, perfect, because it’s your voice, it comes from you. 

Joel sighs deeply, laying over you, breaths deep and ragged with your own just the same under his weight. 

After a moment of catching your breath, he pushes himself up to admire the view. Your lips are open and wet, plump from his own, eyes half lidded, neck marked, breasts pushing out of the top of your dress. An angel. Slowly, he leans in for a sweet, slow, kiss. 

“You’re perfect.” 

When he pulls away, you’re smiling, eyes closed. You hum and then open them, and it's everything. And then your hands are on his cheeks again, warm like sunlight, and everything is perfect. 

“I love it when you get all lovey dovey on me, Joel. I love it when you talk. I love the things you say. You make me feel so special.”

“You are special.”

You smile, then lean in for another soft, simple kiss. 

“You’re special too, Joel. You’re so special to me. I love you.” You whisper, and in this abandoned church, in the middle of who knows where, he’s home, in your voice, your lips, your skin; in you.

[prolifeproliberty]

As a “confessional Lutheran (not catholic, not Protestant),” how would you like… explain that because the definition many (Catholics, let alone others) have of Protestantism is that it’s a breakaway from the Catholic Church circa Reformation era; and it’s not Catholic or Orthodox. Like. I mean both are true ? Honest question for real not trying to be shady!! Tysm!

Thanks for asking!

You see, the definition of Protestant as “broke away from Rome during the 1500s” is both so broad as to be functionally meaningless when it comes to actual doctrine and also so narrow that it would exclude many denominations that we consider Protestant today who broke away from the “Protestants” of the 1500s.

First, it should be noted that Luther had no intent to leave the Roman Catholic Church, but was forced out when he refused to recant all of his works, including those that were in line with Catholic teaching. He held on to Catholic practice wherever he could.

From our Lutheran Confessions:

At the outset we must again make the preliminary statement that we do not abolish the Mass, but religiously maintain and defend it. For among us masses are celebrated every Lord’s Day and on the other festivals, in which the Sacrament is offered to those who wish to use it, after they have been examined and absolved. And the usual public ceremonies are observed, the series of lessons, of prayers, vestments, and other like things. (Source: https://bookofconcord.org/defense/of-the-mass/ )

Most Protestant churches/denominations today either have their roots in Calvinism or Arminianism, both of which are wholeheartedly rejected by Lutheranism.

In fact, the Lutheran Confessions (from which Confessional Lutheranism gets its name) go to great lengths to distinguish Lutheran teaching from both Roman Catholicism and from the other Protestants of the time.

Also, Lutherans are much closer to Catholics on matters such as Holy Communion and Baptism, even if we aren’t quite on the same page.

For a lighthearted, more humorous take on the distinction, here’s one of my favorite videos to post on Reformation Day:

[pyxes]

BUCKLE UP FEW FOLLOWERS/MUTUALS WHO INTERACT WITH MY POST... because right now is a good time for me to tell you all the tale of Idaho’s cannibalism law and the still very much relevant christian-fascist fear of anything that goes outside their bubble.

Idaho House code 18-5003 is perhaps my favorite part of history because it’s one of the most unknown but most jarring example of moral panic and is comparable to what we see today with Q-Anon, MAGA, and even general republican politics. I am going to try to keep this as short as possible but that might be a hard for me (post writing warning this is like...super long but also super cool and interesting). Like I said, I am completely entrenched in this part of history so I may go off rail a couple times.

To preface, Idaho is the only state in the union that explicitly has a law outlawing cannibalism. There is nothing like it in any other state which, when hearing this, people are generally shocked. The law states:

18-5003.  CANNIBALISM DEFINED — PUNISHMENT. (1) Any person who wilfully [sic] ingests the flesh or blood of a human being is guilty of cannibalism. 

(2)  It shall be an affirmative defense to a violation of the provisions of this section that the action was taken under extreme life-threatening conditions as the only apparent means of survival. 

(3)  Cannibalism is punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not exceeding fourteen (14) years.

One would expect this to be cause by some crazed cannibalistic maniac but no. In 1990, it was caused by an orchestrated nationwide fear that “satanist” (use context clues on who was labeled as such) would kidnap children-specifically white, Protestant, blue eyed, blonde hair, girls-who would then be sacrificed. We know this now as a product of the Satanic Panic of the 80's-90's. But where does the Satanic Panic and fear for our little Suzy’s life come from????

Well with all terrible things in contemporary American history the vast majority of this goes back to gross, disgusting, turkey-neck Reagan. I know. Yuck. Don’t have to tell me twice. But to understand more we have to go back a little further to the Vietnam Era and the Jesus Freak Movement.

The fundamental idea of the Jesus Freak Movement was to break away from the period typical charismatic Protestantism. The "Freaks" were generally peaceful but a few bad seeds lit the fuse for what would become the early aughts of the Satanic Panic. Two of the most notable are The Manson Family and Jim Jones' Jonestown, both of which used New-Age Christianity to further their dark self-fulfilling prophecies. Because of this, anti-cult organizations began to form and would label anyone with differing opinions from, again, charismatic-fundi Protestantism, as "devil worshippers". These organizations really did nothing to help victims, nor did they care, they only served a purpose to yap and uphold Christian Morality.

Okay, so with that out of the way, it's time to talk about the man who unfortunately survived a gunshot, Ronald Reagan. Even with the recent assassination attempt, Reagan was dropping in the 1882 mid-term polls. He was not a good man but he was a good grifter, like what we have currently been witnessing with Donald Trump. Seeing that he needed to align with something he sought refuge in the growing Religious Right movement, even though he was the first president to not attend church while in the whitehouse. His “griftey-ness” seemed genuine to some, especially Protestant Evangelical America. This is because of three calculated speeches at the National Religious Broadcast, the National Prayer Breakfast, and the National Association of American Evangelicals. These speeches would regain confidence in Reagan and would give way to a new political group to rise, the Moral Majority.  

After this alignment with the Religious Right, Reagan was to the average American W.A.S.P (White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant) as John F. Kenndey was to the average Irish American Catholic. And if you have ever met and old Irish Catholic lady, you know they SALIVATED at the meer image of sexy John EVEN before he was president. Before Reagan, the Moral Majority was a right-wing movement whose relevance could be compared to a child putting their fingers in their ears and going “la-la-la”. The movement was founded by known anti-semite, Teletubby hating, sexual abuse defending, televangelist, Jerry Laymon Falwell Sr in the late 1970's. The Moral Majority was a loud but ignored group until Falwell’s association with Ronald Reagan. 

Falwell saw how moldable Reagan was and would personally invite him to speak at the National Religious Broadcaster Conference of 1982 previously discussed. He would use Ronald Reagan as a tool to further legislation that made his world more comfortable for him. SOUND FAMILIAR???? The moral majority had one mission and that was to create a ginormous red voting block that upheld conservative Christian ideals. These ideals really have not changed much from today with them focusing on a “traditional”, nuclear, bible abiding family. Traditional meaning strict heterosexual gender roles with males at the helm that we all know and are disturbed by.

One aspect of the Falwell’s Protestant Christianity, also referred to as charismatic Protestantism, is the idea of eschatology. While yes, all Abrahamic religions believe in eschatology, Falwell’s version was much more extreme. Instead of pondering of what happens with one's soul after they die, Charismatic Christianity cranks an imaginary biblical dial up to its max setting. Anyone who did not follow their beliefs were sinners and were bound to go to hell. It was, and still is, quite easy to be persuaded by the Devil, some examples include being gay, trans, Jewish, Muslim, a democrat, not want children, not tithing, playing Dungeons and Dragons, wearing pants if you are a woman, listen to secular music, breathe wrong... the list goes on. All things that deviated from the views of the growing Moral Majority turned into a calculated tabloid sensation that created a real time imaginary world that only served to push their political agenda.

Many of the tabloids were orchestrated in a way that disrupted the white suburban lifestyle institutionalized by the “White flight” of the 1960’s. A good chunk of these rumors was formulated via fear to persuade blue collar workers of the growing divide between them and those who wish to push a liberal agenda. The component of Protestant blue collar workers is important because it is distortional composed of economically stressed people who still held on to traditional American cultural values which affirmed the theology of the Moral Majority. This is still relevant today, I mean look at the voting stats in this years election. Or I don't know listen to you weird uncle who gets his checks garnished talk about how he voted for trump because of "taxes".

There are more blue-collar workers in the nation than televangelist, but the televangelist still persuaded the working class with the teachings of the prosperity gospel because that is the goal of their game. Fear provokes rumors and that was the plan to control the general population at the time. Rumors are created to both satisfy the need to reduce uncertainty and provoke more anxiety. It did not help that at the core of these rumors all held shared beliefs between thousands of people who share the stress of demoralization fronted by Satan.

Besides the views held by the religious right, a book would come out in 1980 that would confirm all the mass rumors surrounding satanic ritual abuse. Now discredited and laughed at, Michelle Remembers is the book that conservative America needed in terms of mass satanic cult confirmation bias. The book was written by “recovered-memory” therapist Lawrence Pazder and details the not-so-true story of his patient and later wife, Michelle Smith. Although the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act was not around at the time the book is straight HIPAA violation after violation. The book is filled with Smith’s accounts of being tortured, sexually abused, and witnessing human sacrifices that she was sometimes forced to be a part of. One of the books many covers plays into the fear of the kidnapped blond-hair blue-eyed child previously discussed, the child is holding a doll surrounded by candles with the eyes of an evil satanist looking down at her ready to sacrifice and consumer her at any given moment. 

Smith’s story set shockwaves and inspired another “victim” of satanic ritual abuse to come forward named Laurel Rose Wilson with her book Satan’s Underground. The two would go on and appear on the Oprah Winfrey show and speak their “truth” and have it confirmed on nationally syndicated television furthering the fears of many. Although both books have been disproven and scrutinized by investigators both books sent a shockwave throughout the globe, with Michelle Remembers being known as the “whistle-blower” book. One of my favorite reviews regarding the book is “Five Baphomet pentagrams for originality and five more for hilarity.” Looking through the lens of today it is easy to call out the embellishments and laugh at Smith and Pazder’s elaborate trolling, but back then this book was truly groundbreaking and instilled more fears in Christian America. DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR ARE WE MAKING CONNECTIONS YET! I mean think of all the brain dead idiots on youtube still claiming to be a victim of satanic ritual abuse.

At this point the Satanic panic has surpassed cult rumors and became a real threat to once secure neighborhoods. Parents began to fear for their children's safety when sending them to school, nowhere was safe from the evil grasp of Satanist. One event regarding this would be a product of the rumors and be the catalyst that ceased the Satanic Panic of the 80’s and 90’s. This event is known as the McMartin Preschool Trials which would later become the longest and most expensive series of criminal trials in American history. The story of the trail starts with Judy Johnson claiming her son was sexually molested by McMartin Preschool employee Ray Buckey. Ray Buckey was soon arrested, and a letter was sent out to the about 200 parents who sent their children to the preschool detailing the alleged acts perpetrated by Buckey.

Quickly receiving this letter, the number of children abused by Buckey reached 360. During the investigation claims were getting muddy with Buckey having an array of costumes, branding children, creating child sexual abuse material and dispersing it to others, slaughtering animals, and any other satanic ritual abuse activity. Buckey was not the only one charged in the case, his mother, sister, as well as several other employees were charged with the same counts as well. All together they had 208 counts of abuse that were a product of cult practices. There were even claims of underground tunnels made to traffic children. Eventually it would come out the children were being coached by investigators to make false claims in regard to what happened at the preschool. In the end all charges but 12 were dropped and the preschool was demolished which can serve as a metaphor for the panic in general. Something created out of falsehoods only to be destroyed by factual evidence based. 

Do I believe the Buckey and others involved were abusing children in the name of Satanic Ritual Abuse? No. But I do believe that something must have happened for a child to recount what happened, persuaded by investigators or not. What could have happened to spark such controversy could take the form of many types of abuse, it does not always need to be sexual abuse is abuse. One thing about children is that while yes, they have very active imaginations they also lack awareness of what being abused is like unless they suffered. It is not a concept they are born with so it should be a red flag to an adult when a child says something relating to being abused. Instead of focusing on the real issue of the claims being made, the parents of McMartin Preschool could not face the reality of abuse being perpetrated by a non-Satanic cult affiliated person with bad intentions. I think the idea of parents automatically blaming Satanic ritual abuse is, well to be frank, disgusting. It takes away from the reality of the situation and gives backswords credence to abuse happening inside their bubble. 

That is where the crux of this super mega long text post lies. People have always refused to acknowledge reality outside of their safety nets. When the reality of their constructed world is broken there is no other way to explain it other than fiction with the intent to blame everyone but themselves. Reading this you can not help but make comparisons to today, most notably with that of Q-Anon and Charismatic Fundamentalist. It feels like every week Q-Anon comes up with a new child-trafficking conspiracy like Pizza-gate/Wayfair-gate, turning Jill Biden's panda costume into some symbol of child abuse, thinking a trans predator is awaiting in every women's bathroom, creating child victims with drag queen story time, etc, all while turning a man (Donald Trump) into a god who has been charged numerous times with abuse of a minor along with his sex-trafficker friend (Jeffery Epstein) who certainly did not kill himself.

These hypocrites all preach the same ideas as Falwell and his Moral Majority constituents: that all those who do not follow their path are monsters out to abuse children, when in reality they do not care about the abuse of children. The state of Idaho does not care about children and is actively pushing legislation to make the lives of women and children more difficult every day. Long before the overturning of Roe v Wade, Idaho governor, chud Brad Little supported sentencing women to death for getting an abortion. Shortly after Roe v Wade was overturned, Idaho immediately put an abortion ban in place, making sure to sign “abortion trafficking” laws that would prosecute anyone who crosses state lines and then followed that by eliminating Idaho’s committee dedicated maternal deaths. Eliminating a committee who’s sole purpose was to understand maternal deaths all while OBGYN’s flee the state the to follow that up by cutting $38 million in state funds dedicated to preventing child abuse while also repeatedly killing bills that would put an end to child marriages in a state with one of the highest rates proves the Brad Little and his cronies do not give a single shit about kids. This obviously is not just an Idaho thing but this is a growing trend across the nation. They only care about ownership. They only care about furthering an agenda to keep their world theirs. Thus, they orchestrate lies to control the masses while they themselves turn them into truth. 

For the few who read this I hope you are now informed and also enjoyed this little history lesson that is doomed to repeat itself. We are all aware of the signs of what is to come but stay strong and do not fall into it. They want you to. Be vigilant and be informed.

[novemberfyshenuke]

Trigun AU

I was crying over my exams, so I went ahead and doodled a little more on the dentist au to cope. Here are the headcanons I came up with lol

Livio

Originally, Livio was meant to be a coworker or even an assistant to Knives in his clinic but I had a revelation. I think there's two things he is most likely to be: A dancer and self defense trainer. No one really expects a bulky guy like him to be so free flowing like that. I think it brings such a fun vibe to him.

He has a space above Knives' clinic and can often be seen picking up children from the ground floor.

He grew up in the church with Nico so he's someone who values God.

He slouches as if to make him smaller. The guy struggles to be stern with his students.

Razlo

Razlo is most likely a prosecutor. Livio grew up in a dangerous and terrible environment before he was brought to the church, so Razlo can be fiercely protective over him. That doesn't mean he hasn't hurt him at some point.

Razlo is musically skilled. I like to think the two of them have a thing going on where Razlo starts playing a random tune out loud and Livio's starts vibing to that.

Meryl

She's a journalist. Well, more like a blogger. Milly and her grew up in the same neighborhood and that's how she met Roberto. In her mind, she admires him and his job. As she grew older though, she did come to realize Roberto isn't the flawless role model she always thought of.

She's very perceptive and quite the smart cookie, but tends to get ahead of herself when she's too excited.

Loud unintentionally. It does benefit her with her work at times, but hanging out with friends? Just bury her six feet under, won't you?

She's studying accountancy because. Just because. I see her being stressed out at the data she's had to recompute for the past hour because Vash is being too loud.

Milly

MY GIRLLLLL

She works part time in a cafe/ restaurant her family owns

Roberto is her uncle (DON'T ARGUE WITH ME)

She's really strong from the amount of groceries and stocks she's asked to carry by her family

Also studying accountancy because she saw how determine Meryl was with her studies.

I guarantee you she finishes the homework first and Meryl asks to doublecheck her answers to see if she (Meryl) got it correct.

Many would call her naive but really, she just likes seeing the good in people. Her parents raised their kids that way afterall.

Her family's restaurant is where the gang hangs out most days.

She's really into motocross and that's how she and Nico bonded over.

Isn't really sporty but will definitely join and demolish you in basically any sport. Basketball? Just try dunking that ball when she's guarding. Hockey? Bro those bruises are going to hurt.

She's got really good luck and she's also really good at board games.

She does tend to get overly emotional though and acts before thinking. Meryl is always quick to swoop in and steady her in these situations.

Nicholas D. Wolfwood

He's an actual priest. I know he has a lot of repressed feelings because of his duties. I mean. His entire inner monologue is just, "You shine so unbelievably bright. You create hope for the people around you like the very god I worship. But it's not like I'd kiss you on the lips or anything or...or whatever."

He's definitely looks older than he actually is.

Weak lungs when he was a child and he's still on medication. That doesn't stop him from smoking though. Everyone around him is always telling him to stop but his response is always, "They didn't fix my lungs just so I don't make use of them."

He can't grow a beard. The best he can get is his stubble and so he is so envious of Roberto's.

He's always dropping bible verses and then gets corrected by Knives about certain facts from the book. He hates him for it.

Legato

He's a fashion designer. He loves being in the field just not as the main focus anymore.

Elegant af in public and yet so unhinged with his crew.

He's got a wonderful voice; probs does voice acting on the side for animated shows/movies.

I like to think everyone takes a look at his work and then research him only to be jumpscared by his alt lifestyle on instagram.

He's cringe as hell to his friend group ngl. He'd sing his early 2000s Avril Lavigne in that overtly cartoonish emo voice.

He's a little obsessed with getting Knives to model for him after they shared one class in college.

Elindira

An influencer and Livio's business partner.

Much stricter on lessons and I think that's why they're compatible.

She's also a lawyer, because I can see her fighting an argument for Livio and winning.

She's very mature...when's not with Legato. Then they immediately link and start bickering like siblings.

She's the type to use a number of pet names for everyone.

Red sportscar. Red lipstick. In her pajamas and wearing cat-eyed shades while holding her head because of the hang-over she has but she still has to pick up the tiny menace from middle school. (Zazie)

She's a wine aunt and you can't convince me otherwise.

Never had a bad hair day in her life

Terrible blunt about things it honestly causes more harm than good but she won't ever lie to your face.

Vash

He likes collecting happy meal toys and displaying them in a glass cabinet in the family house dining room. This has translated to him collecting every single mascot figurine from business partners and local businesses around the area.

In high school, he worked part-time promoting Milly's family restaurant by spinning a sign around in a beat up rented mascot suit. No one will ever know who the kid behind that giant dog head was.

Mama's boy...cough

He dresses like an 80s rockstar or a biker but he's never actually approached a bike because of Mama Rem's constant helicopter parenting.

People just assume he's a 'bad boy' because he has a piercing and is a little full of himself at times.

When he's not interning at Knives' clinic, he's an emergency medical volunteer.

He's always been more of an 'I excel in theory but not in practice' guy.

He once made a patient's gums bleed and had them sobbing because he was too focused on getting on with the procedure he messed up the prep work.

Sneaks candies from the jar on top of Knives' desk

He has a prosthetic because I think it's funny for boyfailure no.1 to randomly have the batteries die or it doesn't function correctly.

Dyslexic and was quite sensitive as a child so he often got picked on.

Knives

Boyfailure no. 2 is a well-known specialist who's always rebelled against his mom but still ended up following her footsteps in the field.

He's lazy. He really feels disgusted having to stick his hands in someone's mouth cavity, but dang does his morbid curiosity always win.

I like to think he's mellowed out here because Vash and him watched My Little Pony and at the same time Superbook. He's like super confused and yet enlightened by all these moral stories and going, "Yeah, you're right, Jesus. Twilight Sparkle did deserve better!" or something...

His older cousin, Tesla, always picks on him for going by Knives rather than the name their mom picked out for him.

Do I think Knives is a kid who decided to pick a chosen name when he was 12? Yes. Yes I do.

He excels objectively and fails miserably when it comes to subjective things.

He wears sandals. Rem always got him and Vash those Velcro strap shoes so he, although he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't know how to tied his laces. He also refuses to search it up because he's convinced himself that Vash has this wagered war of who learns from the youtube video first.

He has difficulty accepting affection despite having Vash and Rem around because as a child, Vash came first. He needed to be prioritized.

Imma get to the others another time.

[sn33z3s]

in defense of “if you weren’t a fucking asshole”

(what better time to write “meta” than hours before a season premiere. after all, style is dead. or was it that it’s just boring? no, wait, it’s toxic??)

this doesn’t have a thesis, it’s just some leftover thoughts from last year - mostly pertaining The Church Scene, because of course - and featuring some hot stan marsh characterization takes i guess

let’s start with the gay glancing at your ex-childhood best friend

so, this framing is loaded because it's the narrative of their whole thing: kyle chasing stan. stan usually comes to kyle's rescue in absurd (but solvable) situations, whereas kyle often has to fight stan to provide emotional respite. they're thinking of each other here; it's distinct how stan looks back, rather than this shot cutting at kyle. stan's explosive reaction is still pretty presumptuous, but kyle was, even if unintentionally, asking for stan's attention - which is typical

in a sense, this scene is their wordless language; the kind you share with said ex-best friend but it’s gotten worn from overuse, and as a result, you’re both communicatively stunted, so now that you’ve reached out again after 40 years, the first step to any comfort or solace is [the scene above] and a homoerotic spectacle:

well, i don’t need to tell you what that public spectacle is; you already know

stan leads his paranoid outburst in the church by accusing kyle of knowing something which would be impossible for kyle to know; in You’re Getting Old/Assburgers kyle also reaches out to stan, who turns him down, yet still asks that kyle basically read his mind and comfort him

kyle is not a stranger to demanding unrealistic things from stan as well, but kyle calling stan “asshole” packs that punch since contemporarily the fandom usually assumes stan as more emotionally forward or in-touch with himself. however, in the church, kyle is pointing out that stan is clearly repressing his feelings, desires, traumas, etc. and kyle has used a similar approach before:

in my last meta, i wrote about how stan is pretty firm in not instantly accepting kyle's olive branches. of course, the thing is, kyle's olive branches are bent sometimes, let alone how he approaches asking for stan's forgiveness before the broship splits. kyle doesn't apologize: he just expects stan to move on

(also, i love the "divorced couple" coding before we even reach Post-COVID.) anyway, the show clearly acknowledges stan as "agreeing with kyle no matter what," and the first time stan and kyle fight in canon, it’s a big deal

i always return to how i don't see kyle or stan as at fault in most of, if not all, of their fights. this especially applies to YGO & Assburgers since it's one of their most significant “break-up” arcs. still... kyle's "if you weren't a fucking asshole" in the church scene is so satisfying. (and 100% excellent voice acting on matt stone's part; the punchy delivery at the end of that line is what makes me revisit it often.) when i put my tin foil hat on, it does sound like decades of resentment built up. if this post had to have a thesis, it’d be, “here’s why kyle had every right to call stan an asshole in that moment,” but the Stan Can Be an Asshole, Too meta is for another day. after all, my last meta also revolved around the trouble i have with framing stan as an exclusively passive character (rather than predominantly passive) 

by “decades of resentment,” i mean simmering for kyle since, you guessed it, episodes such as You're Getting Old and Assburgers. i talk about YGO & Assburgers a lot, i'm sorry. but i was thinking about the church scene as i browsed the south park wiki on the official site: "Kyle can only deal with so much of Stan's negativity." (obviously, matt and trey themselves do not write or even moderate the Comedy Central studios wiki, so take all of it with a grain of salt.) i like that wording, though, and this other part of the blurb too: "Stan's ego can get in the way of their friendship [referencing Guitar Queer-o]" 

kyle not being able to handle stan’s negativity these days is more often harshly critiqued than anything about stan’s ego. that detail does, in many forms, relate to the stan jock characterization discourse, but that’ll also have to wait for another meta. i can say a couple of things about it to tie up this post, though 

yes, kyle fails to comfort stan in the YGO arc. at the same time, i don't think his positivity is always maligned. after all, the YGO arc isn't stan vs kyle, it's stan and kyle vs. growing up; this is their contemporary theme. and yes, for a kid, kyle can have that emotional maturity

Tegridy Farms and Post-COVID have cemented stan as south park’s protagonist – though, in my opinion, he always has been it, especially since Bigger, Longer, & Uncut – and protagonists are like, the character archetype that receives the most self-projection. yet this emotional angle is comparatively still a fairly new framing of stan’s character. now that this show is narrated in such a way that we see even more of the world of south park through stan’s eyes, fans watching may feel extra inclined to think of him as only ever depressed. but being sad is not all stan does and never has been

not only is this frequency fairly new to his character, i would go so far as to say that there’s a difference between the contemporary stan angst arcs and older episodes like Raisins, YGO, and Assburgers. being sad is not “natural” to stan (whatever that means), it is thrust upon him. most recently, this is randy’s fault. yes, we are meant to - and i hope that most do - sympathize or empathize with stan, but my point here is that he’s a little bit more belligerent and bullish than the fandom currently gives him credit for

[kittythelitter]

Thinking about a hypothetical episode of Community with the original 7 where Shirley brings one of her friends from church to Greendale, let's call her Mariah

This friend is a trans woman who is a devout Christian and because she's Christian Shirley listened to her about trans issues and stuff and decided if this nice Christian person wants to be addressed as a woman the Christian thing to do is to treat her like a woman and be respectful of how she wants to be addressed. Whether Shirley personally views Mariah as a woman is ambiguous.

Pierce doesn't clock her or even understand what's going on when the group discusses that she's trans, he just sees a hot new lady and is constantly sexually harassing her and she calls him a chaser which he decides is a new word for like a pick up artist and starts self identifying with it and ends up having his own mostly off screen adventure about it.

Britta immediately outs herself as a terf but gets all her terf talking points slightly wrong. Her whole arc is just her talking herself in circles until she sees Mariah experience transmisogyny and is like. Actually what defines a woman is suffering in society as a result of your gender which means trans women are women. But at the end of the episode she meets Mariah's boyfriend who is also trans and sees someone be transphobic to him and is like. But if you're suffering aren't you also a woman? And that's the very end of the episode so instead of a resolution about it we just leave Britta to whatever she's debating with herself and move on.

Jeff doesn't have an opinion of trans people going in but defends trans people just to disagree with Britta, but as he argues in defense of trans people he manages to get really into what he's saying and ends up doing some public speaking for a trans rights group on campus. (The Dean is there just because Jeffrey is there being all eloquent and manly, half learns terminology and starts referring to himself as "Dean-der Fluid" and "non-dean-ery".) A trans guy talks to Jeff about his hair and his workout routine and Jeff realizes he and the trans guys at the event have a lot in common in terms of how they perform masculinity in order to get others to see them the way they see themselves/want to be seen.

Abed similarly spends time talking with the trans group about performing gender among other things and knowing yourself even when others don't understand you or want to change you. They complain about transphobia in tv and he admits that community has had some transphobic bits and talks with them about better representation and problematic stereotypes and tries to get one of them to stay on as a series regular in order to make community a better more representative show.

Troy and Annie both try to figure out if being attracted to Mariah makes them gay. They both come to the conclusion that Mariah is a woman so Annie is probably some kind of queer and Troy is still not gay for being attracted to her. They both go to the event with Jeff and Abed.

Troy meets a really hot trans guy and is like. Okay i am attracted to men. And then we see flashbacks of him clearly flirting with and/or going on dates with guys since he got to Greendale and just not realizing it. He, rather than having a bi crisis has a "I had a chance with all those hotties and i blew it" crisis before hitting on the trans guy who he thought was flirting with him but who was actually under the impression that troy and abed were a couple and was trying to figure out if they'd be down for a 3-way.

Meanwhile Annie starts doing research with the pamphlets laid out at the events to figure out what kind of queer she is and every time it cuts back to her theres more and more queers around her flirting with her. Including some butch lesbians, some nonbinary people, and some trans guys who are all enamoured with her sweet femme charm. (We get snippets of conversations that have things like compulsory heterosexuality, different flavors of bi, asexuality etc) she turns up at the end with a lesbian pride pin on her backpack and her hair and lip gloss very mussed.

[evita-shelby]

Only joys will come

Part iii to nights on the January and Through the Window.

For @runnning-outof-time for her Tales from the Flower Garden(3k follower celebration).

Gif by @chimestims

(Also Grace is a total bitch in this one, i love writing her as a total bitch btw)

Tommy had refused her that night at the church, she had poured all her charm into him, and he spurned her.

‘Might not mean anything to the likes of you, but I don’t throw away something good for a cheap fuck.’

A cheap fuck.

He had compared her to Lizzie Stark and all those working girls who hang around the Garrison.

She, the only real lady in this pigsty!

So, she called the station and told them about the kidnapping.

The Shelbys were all in on it, as were the women ---to call them ladies would be an insult to those deserving of the word--- and their usual colorful cohorts.

And just like that, police set upon the groom like vultures on the dead.

Leaving her window too.

But it had come to naught, everything cleared up when it was explained.

And because they can’t arrest him for anything until they have proof, they let him go.

A simple misunderstanding, one that has the police laughing and joining the festivities when Thomas and his family explain the situation.

“They don’t have fun at weddings in your neck of the woods?” Polly Gray sees through her in a way she hates.

Grates her when her dark eyes focus on her as she picks her apart in seconds.

The all-knowing gaze of a witch, Ada had said with pride.

“We’re civilized people.” Grace said with a shrug.

“So are we.” Ada comes, not as the groom’s sister, but as the bride’s friend.

“How did you enjoy your kidnapping, love?” he asks as they reunited after her fake kidnapping.

Tommy wasted no time in letting you walk from the chair the womenfolk of his family had set you on for the game and instead grabbed you by the waist and kissed you as sweetly as he had done the night before.

He had paid Ada with a pair of gold earrings that were their mum’s, danced with his two nieces at Esme’s request and glared at Polly who made him sing some song beginning with the letter of your name.

If someone had told you that he and his family had nearly been arrested for supposedly wanting to abduct you last night, you wouldn’t have believed it.

You had been terrified for him, the last thing you had imagined happening at your doorstep, if truth be told.

“I can’t imagine going another day without you.” You had said as he had made his way down your window.

“Get your sleep, you aren’t getting any tomorrow, Mrs. Shelby.” He gave you a wink and you giggled like a teenage girl before seeing two coppers try to arrest him before he had even finished climbing down.

Grace had been overheard by Harry that night, reporting the Shelbys for ‘planning an abduction’ to the coppers on the telephone in the snug.

‘Who knows what else she’s told them.’ Polly had said as she looked at the mousey looking broad with suspicion and disgust.

You had assumed she was just ignorant of the traditions the Shelbys still held dear even after they stopped traveling like the other Romani Traveller families did.

Rich girls like her tend to be on the stupid side, you had said in Grace’s defense.

Tommy had disabused you of that notion when he told you about her throwing herself at him the night after Freddie’s arrest.

Always the one to see a person’s true nature, always coming to your defense when girls used you to get your brothers’ attentions.

“But we aren’t going to let her ruin our day, your big day, love. I’m going to marry you come hell or high water,” he had promised you, kissing your hands as they shook from fright even after the problem had been settled.

And he had, the two of you not giving a shit that your makeup couldn’t quite cover the circles under your eyes or that his right hand was wrapped in a bandage because he punched the coppers who tried to take him in.

No more sneaking around, no more being quiet because your mum will hear, no, all that ended when you became Mrs. Thomas Shelby in a seemingly bleak November morning.

“Only joys will come to us, love.” he says as carries you into the January where he vowed he’d be loving, kind and true the night you decided to give him a second chance.

[tarnishedinquirer]

Summonwater Village

Headed back towards the Third Church, I passed a cemetery. I found myself wondering why it would be placed right alongside a road, or why would a road pass right through a cemetery?

I pondered this question while I stood there waiting for the skeletons to finish dragging themselves out of the earth so I could send them right back there. This was getting predictable.

After taking care of that, I walked over to the ocean cliff and just stared out to the inland sea. I wasn't looking for anything. But I found an anomaly nonetheless when it occurred to me that the horizon was too close. It then occurred to me that the horizon did not take up the entire horizon. Ergo, that could not be the horizon. Even with my spyglass, the inland sea was too foggy to see any details, but it appeared the ocean just... dropped off. Like a cliff.

I would call it impossible, but my opinion of what is and isn't possible has become a lot more fluid since arriving here.

On my return, I found a strange man standing over the corpse of a butchered traveler in an olive cloak. His armor was stylized to look like he had a conjoined twin and he constantly cradled it in his arms like he did. He introduced himself as D, hunter of the dead, (note: profile) and warned me away from the village up ahead because it was "touched by death" and a "mariner" lurked there. I thanked him for the warning and immediately resolved to ignore it.

D let me examine the body. The victim had a collar made of thorns wrapped around his neck. It reminded me of the Shield of the Guilty, and it too was made in silver and gold, like D's armor and blade. I realized it was also worn by many of the crucifixion victims scattered around this region. I asked D straight-up if he killed this man. He said no, but then felt the need to elaborate. "It was his sins that killed him."

Well, seems I had found my holy warrior. Holy does not necessarily mean sane.

As I approached the village, the first thing I saw was a giant bulb of that same grey root I saw in the Tombsward Catacombs. D said something about "pruning Deathroot," and I guess this must be what he was talking about.

The town was filled with graves and sinking into water. There seems to be a loose association between water and death, which may explain D's warning about a "mariner." There's also an association between swamps and St. Trina's Lilies, and I found several around the borders of the water.

I caught a brief glimpse of the Mariner before he vanished. Just as my spell would have struck him. He didn't go far though, and with a relentless barrage of Glintstone Pebbles I managed to keep him off-balance enough he didn't teleport again. The mariner played his horn and summoned skeletons to his defense and tried to drive me off by splashing me with waves of water, but it was useless. I defeated him pretty easily. D's warnings seemed overblown.

The first thing it dropped were spirit ashes of Skeletal Militiamen. The voice informed me that this is the fate of all who come in contact with Deathroot.

The first thing it dropped was a living bulb of Deathroot. Or as much as such a thing can be living. The voice had a lot of very interesting things to say.

A source that gives rise to Those Who Live in Death. The beast clergyman, found at Bestial Sanctum in the distant east, collects and devours these roots. On the night of the dire plot the stolen Rune of Death enabled the first Death of a demigod. Later, the Rune of Death spread across the Lands Between through the underground roots of the Greattree, sprouting in the form of Deathroot.

First off: A source. Not the source. So there might be other sources.

Second part I'll skip for now.

The third point I had to compare to my notes. Some of this was already in my death-dream, my first encounter with the Voice. Filling in some details here:

On the Night of Black Knives, Godwyn (note: profile) was the first Demigod to perish. This was made possible by the stolen Rune of Death. This event led to the Deathroot (a manifested form of the Rune of Death) spreading across the Lands Between, using the same network of Greattree roots that once absorbed the bodies of the dead.

Still just a small piece of the puzzle.

The second thing it dropped was some spirit ashes

This is the grotesque fate of those who come into contact with Deathroot.

I almost dropped the bulb when the voice said that, but I was somewhat reassured by the fact that I just don't die like a normal person anymore. I doubt any affliction could survive the complete reconstruction of my body via Grace. Still, I sealed it in a specimen jar for safekeeping.

D appeared shortly thereafter to both scold and congratulate me. He then pointed me towards Gurranq to dispose of the Deathroot, and it was not surprising that it was a portal just behind the Third Church. I'll head out there once I'm done here.

One interesting tidbit he dropped is that he found the "Mark of the Centipede" here, and that it's a symbol that "should not be." If the symbol of the centipede is so anathema to the Golden Order, especially the bone-botherers of the Hunters, why do they also keep centipedes as a fetish? Why would they be associated with Godfrey in the Church of Pilgrimage?

I did not find the mark of the centipede, but I did find the mark of the turtle. It was locked behind a stonesword barrier, surrounded by turtles, with even more turtles underground. Interestingly, this turtle shrine was the only part of the village that was not sinking into the mire. Could turtles be some sort of ward? The turtle talisman itself has the roots of the Greattree on its back.

The Voice had this to say:

Turtles are known as a nutritious ingredient, symbolic of inexhaustible power. However, those who hold turtles to be wise creatures consider the practice of eating their meat to be barbarous.

Is the Turtle a ward against death?

Why do the Hunters hold centipedes as a fetish yet also see it as anathema?

What is the relationship between death and water?

Why did Godwyn's death cause the Rune of Death to spread?

[shiroandblack]

An unsolicited thought-vomit on the manhwa; A Stepmother's Märchen.

I love it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

This is one of those rare manhwas where the art is as excellent as the storyline. I will be approaching this as someone who has only read the manhwa and not the novel.

Some criticism I've heard of is that it's too heavy for some people and that it's slow at the beginning. I honestly think that's mostly because the political intrigue is a main plot instead of a side-quest to the romance. So at the beginning, the author and artist was definitely laying down the seeds for all of the things currently happening in the manga. The political intrigue is well done as well, it's not everyone vying for power like in asoiaf but a certain group of people who would definitely benefit from gaining more power like Theobald, the Crown Prince, and the Church (Cardinal Richelieu).

It's also addresses class difference through Nora and his friends. Nora as the highest of nobility is very privileged in terms of material wealth and social status compared to his friends who are humble townspeople. Nora himself has genuine care and relationships with them and while not "relatable" they can get on easily. This all comes to a head when they decide to go to Nora's house (more like castle) and that's when they're fully confronted by the fact that Nora is not like them at all. I completely understand the bitterness of one of his friends (the blond one) when he decided to end their friendship, because he has a point. The defense from the other friends that Nora's grandfather and father are heroes who fought valiantly in a war, is contrasted by Blondie's (I'm sorry, I can't remember his name) remark that his father fought valiantly in the war too, his father gave up his profession and livelihood and came back with an injury that debilitated his ability to do things like before. And where is the appreciation for that? Compared to Nora's family who are lauded as heroes and probably received things like land/titles from the emperor simply because they are nobility. Nora is angered when Albrecht (his father) tells him about the confrontation with his friends, to which Albrecht says that he shouldn't be hanging out with them in the first place. In the perspective of his friends, it's frankly insulting for Nora to wear less-fine clothes and hang around them (pretending to be them in a way) even though Nora has always been honest about his identity as a noble to them but they have never been confronted with that reality until they visited Nuremberg Castle.

The fact that Shuri time-traveled seems to be more of a sidenote than something of actual relevance. By relevance, I mean to say that she died horribly in her first life but she isn't really looking for revenge. She's looking to secure the Neuchwanstein kids' futures and also she genuinely wants a bond with them that she didn't have in her first life because ultimately, Shuri wants to love and to be loved. As much as I love villainess manhwa, I also love manhwa where the characters just want to happily live their lives.

Speaking of happily living their lives, I've seen Ohara getting hate for wanting to marry Jeremy for power/security. I think as a child who witnessed her mother being the love of her father's life, only to be discarded when her beauty waned to the point she died alone in her rooms affected her very deeply of course. Her mother straight up tells Ohara to not marry for love but for security, because love can fade but her title as the lady of the house will never and she's basically set for life and won't be as hurt as her mother was when her husband's love eventually fades. Ohara's dislike for Shuri at first is because of the power Shuri seems to hold over Jeremy. Ohara doesn't need to be the number one woman in Jeremy's life, she only requires him to treat her as such so she will not be degraded or belittled like her mother was. Her father seems to be very open with his affairs, considering one of his mistresses made the decision to 'introduce' herself to Ohara in a very public ball with the intention to humiliate her. Ohara doesn't want her or her marriage to be the subject of public scrutiny and while Jeremy's affection for Shuri in their first life was not obvious I think to the casual viewer, Ohara as someone who knows Jeremy and his ticks could probably see that easily. Her request for Shuri not to attend the wedding in their first life was a way for her to guarantee that they will appear as the 'perfect' couple in the eyes of society, because then Jeremy won't be distracted by Shuri. Also, the blame put on her because Shuri was murdered because she didn't come to the wedding is mind-blowing. Ohara was a 16/18 year old young woman trying to secure herself, she didn't plan Shuri's murder or something. In their first life, Shuri was going to get murdered either way whether she went to the wedding or not because the Church decided they were going to kill her and nothing Ohara said/did was ever going to change that because this 16/18 year old girl was not in on the plot to get Shuri killed at all.

I also really enjoyed the way the romance was written. I personally do not think that Jeremy's feelings for Shuri are not incestuous as Shuri is only 2 years older than him and she has never tried to position herself as a mother to him despite being his stepmother. As for the sibling incest vibes? Shuri considers Jeremy as something of a younger brother, but I don't think Jeremy has ever considered Shuri as his older sister/sister. One might argue that it's because he calls her 'sister', but in a lot of cultures (including my own) a girl who is older than you but with not much of an age gap between you guys, whether you are related to her or not is called 'sister/elder sister'. This is why Nora, who Shuri very much has romantic feelings for, also calls her 'sister' at least in the translations I have read.

Theobald's feelings for Shuri on the other hand? Now that's some mommy issues right there. I could go on about this boy, but I'm not going to because he deserves his own post. I'm not unpacking that can of worms just yet because then I'll have to unpack the can of worms that is Ludovica.

Honestly, I can't wait for the second season and for me to binge it.

[the-void-writes]

For Riley!! 🎮📚🩹🎶🔺🌈🍎💔💘😊!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH 😁💖 I’M SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT THIS KID

Here’s some references for Riley. Credit to Wervty and Naylissah on Picrew for the images

🎮 What are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

Riley loves guitar and wants to learn how to play it. He also likes exercise, even if Rio’s training gets ridiculous or excessive. To everyone’s surprise, he shows a lot of interest in studying health and medicine. Avery makes him his unofficial apprentice.

📚 What level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Vesely has a school program for patients, so technically Riley is still getting a high-school education. The last official schooling he had was in junior-high.

🩹 Does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

I’m not sure if it counts, but since his powers generate large amounts of electricity, it scars his arms and damages the nerves. Too much use of it also starts to affect his heart.

That’s why Riley and Thomas work so well together. Thomas’ phasing means that when they touch him, the electricity can move through his body without hurting him, but he also had less control over it.

🎶 What type of music does your oc like? Do they listen to music very often?

Lots of alternative rock, stuff he can turn on during training and headbang to. He also loves the older rock that Jason listens to like Venus Wonder (the Freaks-universe equivalent of the band Queen).

🔺 Does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Aside from his powers, which generate strands of electricity, Rio teaches him how to use a staff as a conduit while he fights.

🌈 What is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? What pronouns do they use?

Riley is bisexual and transgender, the latter of which he is very defensive about. He won’t tolerate being called anything other than “he/him.”

🍎 Where was your oc born? Do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? How do they feel about their birthplace?

Riley was born in a small town somewhere around Preston (I haven’t come up with a name lol). He hates everything about that town, from the school that bullied him, to the church that called him a demon, to the childhood home where his mother called him horrible names and forced him to wear dresses and regularly called the cops to have someone take this kid away. Thankfully, Jason and Rio were the ones to rescue him, and he’ll never have to see that town again.

💔 What are three of your oc's negative traits?

Riley is incredibly defensive to the point where he starts fights that aren’t necessary. He’s so used to pain and having his heart broken that he lashes out the minute he thinks someone is going to hurt him.

He can be grumpy, even with friends. Kevin lives and breathes to pester him, and though their banter is mostly playful, there are times where Riley says something hurtful. He always apologizes later.

He has little respect for grown-ups or authority figures. There have been days where this highly-powerful and rightfully-angry teenage boy has hospitalized trained officers by electrocuting them. The only adults he trusts are Jason and Henry, and eventually his adoptive parents (Avery gets a pass because he’s still technically a college graduate).

💘 What and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

His friends are the most important things in his life. They welcomed him, supported him, and loved him when his family refused to. He says he would kill a man for them, even though he doesn’t really want to.

This also becomes true for his adoptive family. He doesn’t trust them to stay, at first, but he grows to love them dearly.

😊 What are your oc's career/general life desires? What do they want to get the most out of life?

Riley wants to be a doctor. Ever since Jason mentioned it as an option, ever since he showed faith that Riley could help people, Riley’s wanted to follow that path. He never thought he was capable of anything other than destruction, and now he wants to live up to the hope that Jason gave him.

[eternal-echoes]

Hey!! I’m a catholic too, I never skip a sunday mass and I pray daily. I had a question about your views on abortion, gender and sexuality.

For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged:

and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Matthew 7:2

I do view abortion as homicide and I personally would never do it but I do not feel in any way in the position to judge a woman for wanting to do an abortion just like I wouldn’t judge somebody killing in case of self defense. I am not God and the most valuable thing He gave us was choice and free will and as a catholic I feel obliged to respect that in my neighbor. Same goes for LGBTQ+ people. Jesus never even mentioned the theme of sexuality or gender identity and always put love in front of the abrahamic law during the entirety of the gospel. What right do I have to judge others? What right do I have to think I’m right and they are wrong? I am cis and heterosexual, I would never abort in any scenario but in no way I can afford to be judged with the same measure I would judge others by telling them I was right and they were wrong for coming out as transgender or gay. I am sinful and ignorant, I’m not God, thus I have no right to judge.

In this very same way I’m not judging you, God has laid a path for us all and I’m sure you are doing a great job walking on yours, carrying your own cross. I’m sure you had a kind of upbringing that brought you here and made you who you are but you remind me a lot of who I used to be and I just felt the need to tell you I changed on the very moment I realized being religious wasn’t enough to be saved.

May God bless you! I will pray for you and I’m sorry if I crossed some boundaries writing this to you (also because as I said I’m ignorant and I might totally be wrong… if you think I am please pray for me so that God might lead me closer and closer to the Truth).

I wish you’ll spend a Merry Christmas!

Hello, Anon, thank you for your polite question. I will answer as best as I can.

As Jesus said,

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." - John 14: 15.

We can't just say we love God but break His laws He has explicitly stated in the Bible. Loving God is in His terms, not ours.

The thing about morality is that objective. It's not just an opinion, what will be wrong for me will also be wrong for another. It's not a matter of preferring vanilla ice cream over chocolate, if me and another person do it with full knowledge that it's wrong, then we've both committed a mortal sin.

Since you already believe that abortion is homicide, then you must believe it's also homicide when other people do it. Yes, we're called to love and respect our neighbor, but that does not mean we're called to approve of their sinful actions. All of us are still children of God when we commit sin, our actions doesn't negate our dignity. But being children of God doesn't negate the intrinsic evil of the sinful actions that people may decide to take. While there are different circumstances that may have driven a woman to abortion (i.e. poverty or desire to indulge in promiscuous lifestyle without consequences), and we as Christians can never assume that she's beyond forgiveness, we can never just declare that abortion isn't morally wrong or intrinsically sinful. It would not be loving to support someone commit something that would lead them to Hell. For a Christian to truly love someone is to will the other person's good. And that means saying no to what will lead them to Hell and guiding them to what will lead them to Heaven. In other words, we Christians have a duty to forbid promiscuity and promote chastity.

As for homosexuality and transgenderism,

it's important to remember what constitutes as sinful acts and what does not. Neither homosexuality or transgenderism are considered sins because those are not actions, especially since those do not fall under one's agency. What the Catholic Church teaches about people with same-sex attractions is written in the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

The Bible has been clear is condemning homosexual acts.

“‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable." - Leviticus 18: 22

"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." - 1 Corinthians 9-10

"for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine." - 1 Timothy 1: 10

As a Catholic, we use the Bible as our guide along with the traditions of the Church in leading holy lives.

If you know any one who has same-sex attractions, I encourage you to share with them couragerc.net. It's a Catholic ministry that helps Christians with same-sex attractions lead chaste and holy lives.

In the case of transgenderism, the Catholic Church does not consider it sinful. The Catholic Church simply affirm the truth,

"God created man in his own image . . . male and female he created them" - Genesis 1: 27

No one is born in the wrong body because God doesn't make mistakes. People are fine just the way they are even though they do not adhere to the world's standards of beauty or socially constructed gender stereotypes. The body and soul are not separates; together they make up one substance.

We humans are integrated beings. That means our souls don’t reside in a round glowing ball in the middle of our chest. Our bodies aren’t something to detest, something that holds our soul for now but isn’t important. We are one being. So just as much as your soul is you, so is your body you. What we do with our bodies matters. You don’t just hurt my nose if you punch my face, you hurt me. If someone uses my body sexually for their own gratification, it’s not just my body that is affected, I am affected – my whole personhood has been hurt by being objectified.

Emphasis are mine. Read the full article here.

Transgenderism, or gender dysmorphia, is a mental health issue. It's in DSM-5. The correct treatment for mental health issues is therapy. We don't give liposuctions to anorexic girls who think they're fat because they're not in fact fat, so we shouldn't cut off perfectly healthy breasts on girls who think they're boys trapped in the wrong body, because they're not in fact boys. Being a girl means having XX chromosomes and being a boy means having XY-chromosomes.

It's true that Jesus has never specifically mentioned homosexuality and transgenderism but Jesus has never explicitly said not beating your spouse either but that doesn't mean He approves of it. When Jesus said, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5: 28), He was already speaking out against all sins against marriage here.

All of us fall short in following God's standard of morality, but that doesn't negate our intrinsic worth of being made in the image of likeness of God. We're judged by the same measure but we're also loved by the same God who wants us to keep striving to live a holy life even if the road is lonely and full of hardships. We can never judge someone as being unworthy of repentance and Heaven because only God knows that. But God did give us a moral code found in the Bible and expounded by the Catholic Church to tell us how to live a holy life according to His plan.

Anon, if you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

[dalydily]

Radahn and Miquella - Part 3: Miquella's Lilies and Lux Ruins

For a while now I've been documenting all of Miquella's Lilies in the game, and one that I skipped past a few times was this one below:

At first I figured this was related to Godwyn via his Lore Monument. But like with EVERY SINGLE Lily in the game I decided to see what's actually here.

Turns out this Miquella's Lily is quite a distance from the Monument, to the point I would strongly argue they arent connected.

There's Stormcaller Church, but that contains only 1 spell and nothing else. Standing here I saw that the only other landmarks I could see was the Dectus Lift and Lux Ruins.

I also noticed that Leyndell was almost completely obscured by foliage and rocks, and even the path from the capital is completely hidden.

Just about the only thing to see here is the Lift and the path from it. To me it looks like this is somewhere Miquella and Malenia would wait to watch the Lift to see who comes up, perhaps to even see if they're heading to Lux Ruins instead of the capital.

If this Lily were related to Stormcaller Church it would be closer like with the Converted Fringe Tower or various spots around Caria Manor. In fact there is a Lore Monument related to the Second Defense of Leyndell that has a Miquella's Lily right in front of it.

Now looking at Lux Ruins we see that this place has 4! Only Leyndell, the Haligtree, Caria Manor, and the Perfumers Ruins boast more.

1 Lily is effectively inside the Ruins and 3 are immedietly surrounding it.

Why would Miquella have 4 of these Lilies here? What happened in his "youth" for him to have fond memories here? Theres 1 notable item here, the Ritual Sword Talisman. This item certainly means that Lux was one of many sites of ritual combat, similarly to the Leyndell Colosseum that has the Ritual Shield Talisman.

These ruins are also filled with Demi-humans and a Demi-Human Queen, who wields a Demi-Human Queens Staff. This is a weapon styled like a scepter fitted with Glintstone, and it was given as a peace offering. In fact all Demi-Human Queens have these staffs even if they don't actually drop them; its a distinct part of their moveset though only the Limgrave Demi-Human Queen drops one.

Both the Carian family and the Academy make equipment inlaid with Glintstone, so either of these 2 groups could have embarked on a large scale peace mission.

But given that the Carian's effectively controlled the Academy until relatively recently I argue that these peace offerings were done at the Carian's direction. That is, aside from the fact that the description says some (or all) at the Academy looked down on the endeavor.

What we have here then, on the Carian side, is a former ritual combat site right next to the gateway between Atlus Plateau and Caria Manor - Dectus Lift - and inhabited by Demi-Humans with whom the Carian's have a peace treaty.

Being a site of ritual combat in the past and those connections to Radahn aren't super apparent until getting through the Haligtree though, regardless of knowledge of the DLC.

In brief order, he idolized Godfrey who promoted ritual combat to honor the Erdtree - implied specifically the Erdtree not necessarily the Golden Order. The Crucible Knights of whom he and his family have in their service fought in said rituals and the Ritual Talismans resemble their weapons. Caelid has the arena which was likely more accessible in the past.

On Miquella's side, we have a spot he frequented to view Dectus Lift and Lux Ruins, his Lilies spread all over said ruins, and a race historically and currently oppressed by the Golden Order.

When viewed in the course of normal gameplay I think this place is meant to be seen as a common meeting spot for the Carian family and the twins, or a place where the twins helped with the Carian family with official functions. Radahn specifically isn't an obvious factor at this point.

I imagine it would be quite a pleasant shock to him working with a family/political group that has little to no dogmatic prejudice against the underclass of The Lands Between. The Carians accept many species into their service, whereas Marika (or The Greater Will as one might be led to believe) has dictated who is and isn't possessed of Grace.

While I covered Lux Ruins first, the Carian ties to Miquella doesn't end here. I just think Lux is a slightly flimsy start for everything else.