#i may very well not survive these last three episodes

[jamdragon]

On this arcane finale eve, I would like to remind everyone that season 2 has the 'sex' tag on Netflix and we have yet to see any sex scenes. And also, despite there actually being a sex scene in season 1, it did not have the sex tag. So whatever misery we're getting in these last few episodes, at least we're also getting sex and it's gonna be extra sexy.

[4m1rz]

Pool Relieve

TripleS Yooyeon x Male Reader

Tags: pool sex, mommy kink, creampie

If you have the opportunity to be close with your favourite member in your favourite group, what would you do? How would you feel?

Well, this incident happens to Do Kangdae. He is a very huge fan of Kim Yooyeon since she was in the survival show, My Teenage Girl. He watched every single episode of the show until the final episode as she wasn't able to be in the debut lineup. He feels devastated as his favourite girl couldn't make it to the debut lineup as he puts his efforts in voting for her in every single episode.

One day, he scrolls on his Twitter account and sees a notification that Yooyeon will be joining a group called tripleS. And obviously, his feelings went to the roof and he's hoping that she will be able to debut. By the time when the group’s first subunit makes it debut, he is so enthralled especially since Yooyeon is in the sub-unit.

As the time passes by, it's already the comeback season with the group having a new sub-unit called “EVOLution”. Kangdae bought as many of the albums as possible, hoping that he'll be able to get the ticket for their upcoming fan meeting. Luckily for him, he received a message noting that he is invited to the fan meeting that's gonna be held on Saturday. This makes him feel very ecstatic.

Fast forward to the fan meeting day, he arrives at the venue of the fan meeting 3 hours before the event begins. Some WAVs, which is the fandom name for tripleS, can be seen outside the venue. When he enters, more fans can be seen, waiting for the fan meeting event to start. He then goes to one of the seats that are still available before sitting on it and starts to make conversations with those who are sitting beside him.

Three hours later, the fan meeting event begins. All members in the subunit “EVOLution” walk one at a time towards the center of the stage. This causes an eruption of cheers coming from the fans. This includes Kangdae, but his eyes are only focused on the only member that gets his full attention, which is of course, Kim Yooyeon.

After some interactions and performances from the members, it is time for the fans to meet and greet with one member at a time. All of the fans, including him, start to line up before interacting with every member. As he lines up, he noticed the arrangement of the members and was shocked to see that his ultimate bias is the first one.

A few minutes later, it was his turn to interact with Yooyeon. He sits on the chair while facing her and starts greeting her. “Hi there. May I know what your name is?” She asks. “Y-Yeah, s-sure. My n-name is Do Kangdae. Nice to m-meet you.” He answers, despite the multiple stuttering as he's really nervous.

His reaction causes Yooyeon to giggle a little as she finds it cute. “I wonder… if you are this nervous because of me?” She asks him while being curious. This makes him feel a bit more embarrassed and also guilty at the same time. “S-Sorry, I didn't mean it… in a bad way. I am indeed n-nervous… because I'm facing my ultimate b-bias right now.”

The statement from him makes her gasp in amazement. “Oh really, I'm your ultimate bias? Since when?” She excitedly asks which makes him blush even more. “Erm, it was since when you're still in that show, ‘My Teenage Girl’.” He answers, which leads to her gasp yet again. She wouldn't guess that someone has been her fan from when she was in that survival show up until now. They both had a bit more conversation before he was forced to move to the next member.

After that, he goes to meet and have a conversation with the other members. This time, it went out pretty smoothly than during his conversation with Yooyeon. After he finished, he went back to his seat and waited until all the other fans had finished meeting every member. Once all fans have done the meet and greet session, the members then resumed with the performance. During the last performance, he noticed that Yooyeon gave a wink in his direction.

This causes the fans in that particular place to start to cheer loudly. However, he feels as if she is winking to one particular person, but isn't sure whether it's actually for her fanpage or him. After a couple of minutes later, it's the end of the fan meeting event. All of the members then line up into a straight line before bowing down and thanking the fans to join the event before leaving the stage, one member at a time.

This causes the fans to slowly exit the venue, which includes Kangdae. As he was about to exit the venue, he got stopped by two bodyguards that were behind the members earlier. He feels scared at that moment as he thought he did something back then. However, one of the two bodyguards says that two people want to meet him backstage. He just agrees and follows the bodyguards backstage.

As he and the bodyguards arrive backstage, he is shocked to see Yooyeon and another lady who he believes is the group's manager. Then, the manager asks the two bodyguards to let only the three of them be in the room, to which the bodyguards comply and leave the room. After that, she starts to explain what is actually happening.

“Greetings. I'm Boo Chowon, the manager for not just this subunit, but also the whole tripleS…” The manager first starts introducing herself to Kangdae, which indeed concludes his thought of her being the manager. “…I'm so sorry that I drag you here, but Yooyeon has something to talk about to you.” She continues talking before turning her attention to Yooyeon.

As he and the manager look at Yooyeon, she chuckles a little before talking. “Well, I asked Chowon unnie earlier if I can make you my own personal manager.” She says, looking at him. That statement makes him stunned, which makes her giggles even more seeing his reaction. “...but before that, I want to apologize to you first…” She continues talking, but her sudden apology makes him confused.

“You see, I once encountered your fanpage about me on Twitter. I was so amazed to see someone supporting me since that survival stage era. However, I also… accidentally saw your personal account since there's also the link for it and I accidentally clicked on it. So, I'm so sorry yet again.” She continues explaining while putting her hands close as a sign to apologize. The first thing he did after hearing her explanation was to grab her hand and push it down.

“I-It’s fine. Besides, I actually wanna put the link for my personal account on the fanpage account as I want to have more fans as my friends. I didn't expect my ultimate bias would encounter that fanpage.” He says and chuckles, which makes her sigh in relief and smiles. “So, is this why I'm being your personal manager? You're hoping to compensate for your mistake?” He then asks her.

Just before she is able to answer the question, Chowon cuts her through it. “Basically that, but also because she grows fond of you because of how strongly you've been supporting her. After seeing you just now during the fan meeting, she constantly talks about the topic of letting you be her personal manager to me.” She says, which makes Yooyeon nod before covering her face with her hands. This reaction of hers makes him chuckle a bit more.

“Well then, I accept the offer of being her personal manager. This is a once in a lifetime experience, but I promise I'll do my best to be a great manager to Yooyeon.” He says and gives a salute to the two ladies. Chowon nods while Yooyeon giggles to see that response from him. “Ok then, your job starts right now, after I leave the room right… now.” Chowon says and leaves the room after, leaving just him and Yooyeon.

“I guess we will introduce ourselves first then. I'll start. My name is Kim Yooyeon. I was born on 9th February 2001 and I live in Seoul. I studied at Ewha University, so you might know my nickname then, right?” She introduces herself and gives a wink to him at the last part. “I guess it's my turn then. My name is Do Kangdae. I was born on 8th June 2002. I was raised in Busan, but now I'm living here in Seoul. I study at Yonsei University, in a sports science program. Pleasure meeting you.” He properly introduces himself to her.

“Ah, so I'm your noona then?” She asks, to which he nods. “Did you go to the gym a lot?” She asks again and he responds back with a nod. “Ah, no wonder you have this buff physique, yet you are being shy earlier at the fanmeeting.” She says while giving a teasing smirk which makes him scratch the side of his head in embarrassment.

“Now, I guess you wanna ask me to stay at the dorm. However, I believe my place and your dorm is around the neighborhood.” He says. His statement shocks her as if he knows what she just wants to ask him. “So noona, wanna go to your dorm now?” He asks her, to which she nods. They then walk towards his car and start going towards the dorm of tripleS members.

After several minutes later, they arrive at the dorm. “Well, we're here. I'll see you tomorrow then, my new manager.” She says. “Yeah, sure. Want me to-” He replies, but stops as he feels his cheek get kissed by her before turning his head towards her in a shocked expression. This makes Yooyeon giggles and smirks. “See you, handsome.” She says again before getting out of the car and going towards the dorm building. He is only able to shake his head, feeling disbelief on the action she did earlier before starting to drive back home.

That's how Kangdae became from being just a fan to being one of the tripleS managers, but specifically, the manager of his ultimate bias. He has been doing what his job suggests, planning her schedule with the company and accompanying her in her activities. However, despite all this, it seems that she also pampers him by buying him stuff and not letting him pay for it, even if he tells her that he wants to pay for it. This also results with them being a lot intimate and secretly being a couple.

This situation also seems to be the change of the dynamics between them. One day, he jokingly said that he should call her ‘mommy’ instead of ‘noona’ due to her acting like one towards him. He thought that she would feel disgusted with it, but instead she had this wicked grin visible on her face. “Oh really? Well, I don't mind it. Besides, you sound so sexy saying that word, Kangdae.” She says and gives him a sultry wink. This change of dynamics also results with both of them able to have their own personal fun and fulfill their sexual needs.

Fast forward to today, which is October 25th, they have finished with the Australia World Tour and every member and staff have some free time to spend before going back to Korea. Kangdae has been planning to just go to the nearest bar and just have some drinks. However, as he is going to the bathroom to clean himself, his phone starts to vibrate multiple times. He then checks the phone to see several messages from Yooyeon.

[Mommy Yoo❤️]

Meet me at the hotel private pool at 8.00 p.m.

Don't be late, or mommy would punish you 😉

-

He chuckles seeing her messages, knowing that her threats were always a bluff. However, he thinks that it would be a good idea to be able to hangout with her as they both have been busy for the 3 days of the world tour. He also thinks whether he and Yooyeon would do some naughty stuff or not later on.

Later on, he arrives at the hotel’s private pool which is located quite far from the hotel rooms. He scans around the place and sees someone already in the pool. He walks closer towards the pool to see that the one asking him to come to the place has already been waiting for him at the poolside, wearing a black swim dress with white ribbon straps.

“Hey there, my beloved noona.” He says, indicating her of his arrival. This makes her tilt her head, seeing him which then she gives him a naughty grin. “You're late, baby. You make mommy wait for you for 5 minutes. You really want mommy to punish you?” She says while adding a smirk after the last sentence.

Her statement makes him chuckle a bit. “Oh please, mommy… We both know that your threats of punishing me is always a bluff. By the way, I see that you've dipped in the pool, huh?” He says and also asks as he notices the swim dress that she's wearing is already wet, to which she nods.

“Yeah, I went for a swim just now, just waiting for you to arrive.” She retorts back and gives him a playful glare which makes him chuckle even more. “Now, do you want to join mommy in the pool or not?” She asks him once again to which he nodded.

“Great then. Now take off your clothes.” She says to him before plunging herself into the pool once more. “Really mommy? Do you really want me to take off my clothes right here with you looking?” He asks, trying to argue. “As if you haven't done that in front of mommy before, baby…” She retorts his argument and gives him yet another smirk.

He sighs in defeat before starts taking off his clothes until he is left with just his swimming trunks. As she notices a slight tent forming at his swimming trunks, this makes her to smirk even more and looks intently at his crotch region. He notices where she's looking at which makes him chuckle and mumbles the word ‘naughty’. Then, he gets into the pool and joins her by hugging her close.

“It's been awhile since we get to be like this huh, mommy?” He asks which she nods as an answer. They stay in that position for another 10 minutes before he feels her grinding her crotch region with his.

“Mommy, are you horny already? I thought you wanted us to go for a swim first.” He taunts her. There's no reply from her other than soft moans coming out from her mouth for 5 minutes. After that, she tries to answer his question despite her still moaning and grinding.

“Mmmmh, I am, baby… After all, w-we haven't been with each… mmmh… other. Mommy believes t-that you also want me r-right now.” Her answer makes him chuckle and shake his head. After that, he slithers one of his hands towards under the swim dress until he feels her pussy. Once he feels her pussy, he starts to rub it which makes her moan a bit louder.

“Mmmmh, t-that’s it baby. G-Gosh, this is just only y-your fingers, what if it's your dick inside me, mmmmmh…” She exclaims. Then, she responds by moving her left hand towards the inside of his swimming trunks until she reaches his dick and grips it before slowly stroking it. This causes him to groan softly yet hoarsely right towards her ear.

As things getting heated between the two with them pleasuring each other, he couldn't wait to fuck her which makes him to stop rubbing her pussy. This makes her confused as she was actually getting close to orgasm. “W-Why did you stop? Mommy's close…” She whines.

“S-Sorry mommy, but I can't wait any longer.” He exclaims. After saying that, he yanks his swimming trunks down a little to release his hard dick, then pulls up one of her legs before pushing his dick into her pussy. This causes them to moan due to the pleasure of both sexual parts and also the pressure from the pool water.

“Oh god, mmmmh… Mommy's pussy still feels so… tight. The water also makes the feel of your pussy even better, mommy.” He says. After a few minutes later, he pulls out his dick until his tip remains before pushing it back inside which leads to him thrusting inside her pussy. However, the pressure from the pool's water makes it a bit harder for him to thrust his dick.

“Mmmmh, I've b-been craving for this, baby. Mommy has been… mmmmh… waiting to get that dick of yours. So p-please, ruin mommy's pussy.” She says to him, the pleasure feeling seeps all over her body. Suddenly, he stops thrusting which makes her puzzled yet for another time. “B-Baby, why did you stop t-thrusting? M-Mommy wants m-more.” She whines.

Her whines didn't get any reply from him, instead he lifted her up a little which made her wrap her legs around his waist. Then, he carries her towards the pool wall and pins her towards it before resumes thrusting his dick inside her pussy, but a bit more harder. This action makes her squeal loudly as she didn't expect it.

“Oh, mmmmh… My baby is such a t-tease… Mommy l-loves it though… mmmmh…” She says, followed with laces of moans. As he is still thrusting, he lifts her a little and gets his hands to untie the straps of her swim dress. Once that is done, he tugs down the swim dress to reveal her modest tits before starting to play with them.

“Mmmmh, mommy loves it when you play with my tits, baby. It makes mommy… mmmh… even more aroused.” She says gleefully. This makes him attack her tits even more, with the combination of sucking, groping, tweaking and biting while still thrusting his dick.

After 5 more minutes later, both of them are at the brink of cumming. He really wants to cum inside her as it's been their habit of finishing their sex session. However, he thinks that he should get her consent to do so which makes him do just that.

“M-Mommy, I'm c-close. Can I c-cum inside you, mmmmh?” He asks. Her reaction is to just nod aggressively before answering him. “M-Mommy is close t-too. Luckily, today is mommy's safe day, so y-you can cum i-insi- oh gosh, mmmmh!!!”

As soon hearing her answer and not letting her finish it, he unloads all of his cum deep inside her pussy which triggers her to cum as well. After he believes that he has fully unloaded his cum deep inside her, he slowly pulls out his dick as well as lifting her. This causes a little bit of their mixed cum to spill out from her pussy.

Then, they both hug each other once more for another 5 minutes to relax themselves before she suddenly hits his chest playfully. “Yah, you're such a naughty boy. You didn't notice mommy that you're about to cum.” She says which makes him chuckle. “Hehe, sorry mommy. I was so eager to hear your approval that I just cummed on the spot and forgot to tell you. Well, you did like it didn't you, mommy?” He answers back.

His answer makes her giggle and shake her head. “Yeah, I miss this feeling of you cumming inside me. Now, shall we have a swim this time?” She says to which he answers with a nod. Then, they let go of the hug before fixing their garments; or more so taking off the remaining clothes left which makes both of them skinny dipping. After that, they start to do swimming and playing in the water before leaving an hour later.

P/S: Welp, the inevitable incident has happened... Idk why, but that photo really fuels me up to make a smut for her even if I don't want to ���. Still, I hope you all enjoy reading it

[xaverie]

So. I love Evan Kelmp. And - imagine that I'm trying to choose my words carefully here.

I've been getting annoyed with him over the last three episodes. Because. I don't like how he tends to impose his beliefs. About what is correct and should happen. On the other characters. And our Black characters, specifically. Which. Was really put on clear display by his interaction with The Qohlye.

Evan seeks to be understood. But I don't think he has.. put in the required effort to reach that same level of understanding with his friends, or in general. Perhaps because they haven't said things in the exact way that he needs to hear them. But he behaves as though he does understand, even though I personally think. That there are things he's missing.

The treehouse conversation. Lots of people seem to get and relate to Evan's side of the convo, which is fantastic! But not as deep an understanding of Jammer's side. Evan decides that the correct thing is for Jammer to come out not hide his magical experiences. He jumps to a few conclusions about the reason - first that maybe Jammer was ashamed, then that he wasn't confident it would go well.

Instead of asking for clarification about what "They need me to be Whitney, you guys need me to be Jammer" means, he had made up his mind. Evan likes that Jammer is magic because that is the way in which Evan feels most connected to Jammer, thus everyone should admire Jammer for his magical abilities the way Evan does. And if Jammer hasn't allowed for that it's some kind of rebuke of Evan, of magic, and of Jammer's own self. Therefore the only correct thing is to merge these identities, but really just be the Jammer that Evan knows.

And I'm not saying Evan is wrong here. But in the same way he's missing the fact that Jammer did try to expose his magic in S2E1, but he couldn't prove it because magic is fucking broken. He's also missing how naturally we, as Black people, fall into code switching. Not just historically as a method of survival, but for practical reasons, privacy reasons, or just to keep our peace. To treat that unilaterally as the same thing as a kind of toxic compartmentalization, or hiding the true self (all of them are true selves), was. Kinda. Sad to me.

Not to take away from Jammer's triumphant success on Galamanis or the freedom represented by growing wings, because this is what he chose and I love that he made those choices. But it also represents potentially giving up fitting into his mundane life and dream career, something he had fought so so hard to keep thus far, and destroying 'Whitney'. This, more than anything before it, might be a fundamental shift in identity.

The same way it made me a little bit sad that Evan had assumed Jammer didn't mean "family" literally, when I immediately recognized that of course he did. There has never been a point in American history where part of being Black and being family hasn't meant - we may have to be apart, but as soon I'm ready (as soon as we're safe), I'm coming back for you, no matter what. It is THE very first promise, the foundational truth, or the only thread of hope that tied so many Black families together through all these generations.

So while everyone recognizes what a sweet moment it was, I also hope people feel the gravity and the history behind "I dream of making that space for you." And the weight of how many people must have said that before him. And what a profound act of love it's always been because sometimes that's all we have.

When Evan tells Sam, "I think you are the most powerful wizard," she instantly replies, "I hope not." Evan's response to this was essentially - who were are is true whether we want it to be or not. Which, to be fair, is both consistent with what he expressed to Jammer and with his own experience. What it leaves out is that our hopes are also who we are. And that maybe the same way he mistook her love toward him for general gregariousness, he is still misunderstanding her a little.

While he deferred to Sam on the matter of whether they should pursue the Qohlye or not, I think it was still Evan's (or Brennan's) idea that not only must all four of them be chosen, but that The Qohlye must be the best choice for Sam.

When the Qohlye says 'I think you're only here because you're convinced you need to be the same as your friends,' is he wrong? When he asks why she needs to be chosen by his magic specifically, she can't answer on her own. When Sam was given the choice between Power and Understanding she immediately chose understanding because of COURSE she did. (She instantly replies, "I hope not." I hope not. My heart breaks.)

And yet. Evan insists that she's given the power anyway. Because that's what fits neatly into what he already believes is correct and should happen. He believes in winning and rewards. He believes she deserves that power and that they need it. So even though I know he does this out of love, he doesn't even consider for a moment that he might be wrong.

Because Sam does get the power, she does thank him, and again not to diminish Sam's accomplishment - once again Evan gets what he wants and is proven right.

Except.

When The Qohlye doesn't give him the answers he wants in the exact form that he demands them. Evan decides that this is a crime for which The Qohlye deserves to die. The Qohlye, who helped return him to life. Who has a strong connection to his friends. (Who chose to be Black, which meant so much to Jammer that he cried.) Who asked each of his friends, in turn, if they thought The Qohlye meant what Evan thought he meant. Who demonstrated that he is not (and cannot be) obfuscating something that is apparently obvious to everyone else.

Evan refuses to accept that yes, The Qohlye can give him information, but cannot understand it for him. And Evan is not ready to Understand because Evan keeps choosing Power. Understanding takes work, even (or especially) when it doesn't come naturally to you. And answers will not always come in a clear and concise way. And this makes him so angry that he wants The Qohlye dead.

While Evan always presents his beliefs and demands as logical and rational, his reaction to The Qohlye's refusal to engage on his terms was simply entitled and immature.

[centaurianthropology]

My thoughts on C3E77

So apparently this one was controversial?

I'm going to say right now, I really loved everyone's decisions. They all fit the characters, but more they fit the players. I know that there are claims that Tal ignored all the warnings, but I actually think Matt may have misjudged the situation going in.

Ashley made it clear on 4SD that she did not want the shard. I think she's not really feeling the Dark Fearne storyline (and that's fair), and Matt seems to have missed that she genuinely didn't want to go down that route. Maybe he thought she was playing coy? Maybe they've been playing together so long he thought he knew a story she'd enjoy and missed her signals that she wasn't into it. I've done that before with some of my long-term players.

However that went down, Tal and she had a conversation after 4SD about what they wanted to do, and it was clear going into the episode that they at least had it planned out who was taking that shard, and it was going to be Ashton from the off. The fact that Matt was not expecting that somewhat surprises me. As Taliesin said: he put a big red backstory-shaped button in front of Ashton, and Ashton is terrified of losing people. If Fearne didn't want the shard, Ashton was going to dive on that grenade head-first. And part of Ashton wanted it. They are told they can't do something, and they will go about proving that old tree and everyone else wrong in the most self-destructive way possible. They are intensely punk in that way.

Matt may have designed the shard for Fearne, but this is not the first time that an item meant for one player ends up with another. Deathwalker's Ward was made for Percy, but through the events in the Sunken Tomb, it ended up with Vax and led to a hell of a story. And now something meant for Fearne goes to Ashton, and I have a feeling we're now in for another hell of a story. Because Ashton is now, essentially, a lava genasi, with three impossible things crammed into their broken body. Will they survive the campaign? I have no idea, but it has become clear that they don't expect to.

And honestly? This may well be what the Hells need, not in terms of power, but in terms of really realizing how self-destructive they all are. Marisha may say that no one loves a martyr, but Laudna was very much ready to play that role earlier this episode. Imogen is very self-destructive. So is Orym. So is FCG. The only two who have shown any degree of self-preservation are Fearne and Chet. The rest are bombs waiting for the most poetic moment to go off.

And today one of them did for a moment. They finally saw the end result that their self-destructive tendencies get them: Ashton blown into a thousand pieces, scattered across the top of the ziggurat. Deanna's ring saved him. Fearne's Aura of Life and FCG's Aura of Vitality saved him. Ashton could only roll and take damage.

Matt may have not designed it this way, but this was absolutely Ashton's 'where do you get your strength from' moment of the campaign, but in a very different way than Grog or Yasha experienced them. Because Ashton might just need this realization slapped into them by all their friends: this was dumb and they would have died because they didn't trust their friends. Because their strength and their salvation truly came from the people that love them.

Ashton has been, up until this point, a bit gung-ho to die for his friends. Honestly, they all are, and it's about time he and all the others learned how to live for their friends.

Anyway, hell of an episode, and a brutal but thrilling last hour. I was grinning right along with Sam. The mad fucker pulled it off by the skin of his teeth and by the grace of two friends dumping every bit of healing they had into him.

[good-to-drive]

Abuse, Silence, And Why Kevin Can Fuck Himself

I recently finished watching Kevin Can Fuck Himself on Netflix, and, aside from being the most brutally honest portrayal of domestic abuse I have ever seen, I discovered a beautifully written examination of narrative as power and silence as abuse and how this manifests in our larger culture. 

Without going into too much detail, the show is filmed in two distinct styles that are interleaved throughout each episode to tell a cohesive story. Allison and Kevin’s relationship as seen by the rest of the world is told through a multi-cam, laugh-track sitcom that depicts a very typical “goofy husband, shrewish wife” mainstream comedy. Allison’s life through her own eyes is told through a single-cam drama/thriller about Allison planning to murder Kevin to escape his abuse. 

It’s an absolute masterclass in screenwriting, but more than that, every episode explores the difference between truth, fact, and reality, and how none of these things are quite as much or as little as story. But while the process of transforming the chaotic and plotless reality of life into a story is as involuntary and essential as breathing, misogyny and the degradation of women is just as ubiquitous in our society, and a story that exists at the expense of another person’s lived reality is a refutation of their humanity. 

It's also just a great show for anyone who likes to engage with history (or reality TV or true crime or “real life stories” in general), because while we have to tell ourselves stories about her own lives, we have to tell ourselves stories about other people as well. Eternal silence is narrative death, and the perpetual silence of an unspoken narrative is often the last death we can visit on someone whose story we’d rather ignore. 

I also pulled up some books – Lolita and Disgrace – that dealt with similar themes, but from the perspective of the abuser. And what strikes me the most is that, across three beautifully written stories about narrative and silence within a culture that normalizes abuse, Allison, who began her story within a state of narrative death, was the only point-of-view character who had any chance of surviving. 

One of the main themes of Kevin is that a compelling story is often a story that reinforces what we already believe or like to believe, and while the story may be factual and true it often also exists at the expense of someone's lived reality. The exact same series of events can be a silly joke or a harrowing tale of abuse depending on the lens through which we view it, but historically we've only been willing to see the multicam, laugh track, sitcom perspective on unbalanced relationships.

The alchemical process of turning a series of disjoint facts and experiences into a narrative creates something new and compelling, and erases much of what previously existed. In this way, it’s entirely irreversible. We spin our experiences into a very thin thread, a story we can tell ourselves that elicits something within us, something we need in order to live with the complex, uncertain, and unsatisfying reality of life. In think in many ways the thing we elicit in ourselves is truth. But truth is both more and less than fact, often more a reflection of our own beliefs and desires than the events of our lives. And in telling that truth we may never stray from the facts, but we almost by definition cannot give voice to another person’s reality.

There's a scene in season 2 of Kevin when Allison is hit by a door – a la the classic excuse – because of Kevin’s carelessness. And while he absolutely did not hit her, the way it's written is such an incredible allegory for how Kevin has curated their story and curated their friends' and family’s perceptions of their story such that even if she tells everyone the exact, unvarnished truth of what's happening to her and begs for help, they will only be capable of seeing the laugh-track, sitcom, “Kevin is a harmless goofball and his wife is a total shrew” perspective on the events of their lives. 

As so often happens with abuse, their friends and family saw Allison being hurt because of Kevin. But the alchemy of creating a narrative around Kevin and Allison is irreversible, and the series of events they witness can only be spun together to a joke, an accident, a silly, childish mistake. Allison’s reality, Allison’s pain and fear, is completely elided. Like a lost sound in the middle of a sentence, her experience goes silent, and their larger understanding of her relationship never has to change. And you feel so acutely how Allison lives her entire life in that silence. 

Storytelling is human, it’s essential, there’s no other way to engage with our own lives. And it’s not lying. It’s never lying to tell the truth. But it doesn’t reflect every reality, either, because another person’s reality can’t be reflected within our own narrative, because that’s what it means to be another person. To spin two different threads.

And because narrative is the essential process by which we understand our reality, denying someone their own narrative, or denying that this narrative be heard, is inherently abusive. To allow someone a voice is to give them humanity, and to suppress it is to strip that humanity away. 

Disgrace, by J.M. Coetzee, follows the story of a professor, David, who rapes a student and then fails to protect his daughter, Lucy, from being raped by intruders in their home. He destroys his daughter’s life  – not through failing to protect her, but through twisting her rape into a story about why the rape of his student wasn’t wrong. The main theme of the book is generally considered to be exploitation, but Coetzee doesn’t deal with the exploitation of the rape. That’s too direct, too immediate, too easy for the reader to understand as misogynistic and wrong. Rather, Coetzee delves into “the innocuous-seeming use of another person to fill one's gentler emotional needs” (Ruden).

The rape is how we understand David as a fundamentally exploitative person, a person who denies others their humanity by converting them into a vessel for his own desires, who erases their voice in order to speak through them and give himself the things he needs. And that’s how we recognize that the way he absorbs and claims the stories of his daughter and his student is another kind of violation of their humanity. Another way of turning women into vessels for men’s pain and fear and need. 

What’s fascinating is that David's student finds her voice – files a complaint against him – and is eventually able to continue with her life. The woman he raped is less damaged by him than his own daughter, because she was the woman he couldn’t permanently silence. 

In Lolita, another brilliant novel about abuse, dehumanization, and storytelling, Humbert turns to the reader at the end and says, “Imagine us, reader, for we don’t really exist if you don’t.” 

It’s not that Humbert knew he was fictional, but that he knew everyone was fictional. Believed the entire world only truly existed in his own mind, because anything beyond that was irrelevant to his needs. He coped with the collapse of his ability to dehumanize Dolores (who he called Lolita) by demanding that his voice be resurrected. Demanding immortality. Demanding his narrative exist in another person’s world, and thereby be given the existence and humanity that Allison and Dolores and Lucy and David’s student were denied. 

Pushing his needs, finally, onto the reader, because we are the only person he has left, and a person like him can only exist through the use of another. In that way, Humbert was powerless. In that way, Kevin and David were powerless, too.

In Disgrace, David’s dream is to write an opera, and at the end of the book he realizes he’ll never finish his magnum opus. He’ll never be able to terminate the process of converting himself, his world, into a story. But he does learn to decenter himself in that narrative. And it’s when he loses all fear of death, and any conception of the self, that he gains the ability to give dogs – who he generally equates to women – a voice within his opera, his life’s work. 

It’s in death that we discover our true unimportance as human beings, that we learn to let go of vanity and our conception of the self entirely. And David had degraded women so thoroughly in order to justify how he used them to meet his own emotional needs that it was only in losing all value for his own life that he could gain the ability to see them as equal voices. To actually put those voices into his own life story. It's at the cost of himself that he allows other people to truly exist, in the death of the self that he finally allows the world to exist outside of himself. It’s almost a positive character arc. Almost.

When Kevin finally loses the ability to abuse Allison, he, like many abusers, loses all desire to live. His world was built on a structure of superiority and inferiority, on beings and vessels, on the inherent value of men and the inherent meaninglessness of women’s lives. The system on which he based his entire reality has been destroyed by Allison’s declaration of the self. And, if he was a being because she was a vessel, then in losing the ability to treat her as a vessel, to fully and completely dehumanize her, he has lost his own humanity. 

It may be perfectly summed up here: “Become major. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise, what is life for?” (Coetzee).

If you’re not to be a main character, if there indeed is no split between major and minor characters, between people and the paper dolls that populate their story, between living beings and the vessels into which they pour their need – what is life for?

Nothing. At least, not for people whose narrative must exist at the expense of another. 

And that’s why I say that only a narrator like Allison could survive this kind of story. Despite beginning her story trapped in eternal silence, her reality fully elided no matter how immediate and obvious it became, Allison was the only point-of-view character of any of these three stories who didn’t establish her power through the degradation of another. Who didn’t conceptualize the world via being and vessels. Whose narrative didn’t exist, by necessity, at the expense of another person’s humanity. Whose thread could exist in a larger tapestry without destroying her sense of self.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not generally a likable character. She’s misogynistic, cruel, selfish, jealous, desperate, afraid, and in pain. Like anyone in an abusive relationship, she’s not at her best, and she’s often pushed to do things that are ugly and disturbing because she’s simply been pushed too far. 

But, for me, the power in her character is in how her last scene never felt like a final scene. Her story didn’t have to be killed, her conception of the self didn’t have to be killed, in order to reveal the brutal reality of stories twisting and intertwining without any inherently superior truth or narrative among them. Allison’s story was one of declaring herself. And that’s why it didn’t feel like it ended at the end. Instead, this felt like a beginning.

[frenziedslashers]

I Love You, And I Don't Say It Enough:

Pt. 2; Baby, It's Okay

Pairing: Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead) x Reader

Warnings: she/her pronouns used, possible ooc Daryl idk, PinV sex, unprotected sex (wrap that shit 👹), rough to soft sex, canon typical violence, mentions of character death. Not proofread.

About: This is set after Season 7 (meaning if you do not know who died Season 7 Episode 1, please do not read if you do not want spoilers.) This is a little fic about Daryl returning to Alexandria after escaping from Negan. I may have gotten some of the details wrong, but this was mostly for my own enjoyment. If you have a request you want to send in for him or another character, feel free. I will be making a master list for TWD and include the characters I write for here in the next few days!

REQUESTING INFO || TWD MASTERLIST

The past few weeks had been some of the toughest of your life. Not only did you witness two of your good friends die, but you knew that more blood would be shed along the way after theirs. You just didn't think it would be Daryl. He wasn't dead, not from what you knew, at least. They just took him from you. A man who's helped you survive since the beginning. A man who you grew very fond of, and he grew just as fond of you in return. You thought Alexandria brought hope to the future the both of you could share. You were wrong. At least in this moment you were so very wrong.

You screamed for them not to take him from you. It only made them laugh. Negan made a comment about wanting to take you, too. Make you his wife and Daryl have to watch him treat you like his. "I'll be back for ya, don't cry," was the last thing Daryl had said to you. It didn't stop your tears, if anything it only made them worse. What if that was the last time he would ever speak with you? The last time you'd ever see his face. What if he ended up like Glenn and Abraham... Or worse?

It felt like months had passed without him, but in reality. It was only about three, maybe four days. Living without him was lonely. Sure as hell a lot colder at night than having his furnace of a body cooped up next to you. When you saw him get off the truck, you nearly collapsed. His eyes looked tired, but they still searched for you. They still widened and looked at you with the same love and adoration as before. Negan was quick to stop the interaction when Daryl blurted your name and the both of you attempted to run for one another.

"Well," his smile, god. You'd give nothing more than to shoot it off his face. "Isn't this just adorable? Don't you think, Lucille?" He chuckled, walking up to you with a curious gaze. "We've got little miss Jane over here, and her man of a Tarzan over there." He spoke with a sigh. "Gross." He snickered, looking back at Daryl while circling around you. Placing his hands on your hips. Watching you flinch and Daryl fight with the people holding him back. "Don't touch 'er!" "Hey now, what did I say? None of that, or else I'll shut," He held his bat up close to your face. "That shit down." He spoke, voice getting lower and more stern with each word. Daryl understood, even if he didn't want to. Looking at you with a gaze that told you everything was going to be all right.

Negan chuckled again, leaning in close to press his nose against the side of your hair. Inhaling deeply, and then sighing. "Damn! Does your woman smell nice. Bet she tastes just as good, if yunno what I mean." He told Daryl with a sly grin. "Don't talk about 'er-" "Do you wanna see her brains on the pavement? Because I sure as hell don't! I've seen too many super hot wives die. No use wasting such a pretty face when she could maybe be yours again." Daryl glared, Negan looking back at you with a sigh and pursed lips. "You should really tame your dog. He's gonna bite someone someday."

After that, you had a sliver of hope. That maybe since they were letting him go on runs with them. That maybe Daryl could figure something out and get away. Maybe you'd wake up one night to Daryl climbing into bed with you. Pulling you close to one another and not saying a word. Just holding each other in silence.

Each passing day grew harder and harder. Each day without him felt like shit. Like it was a reminder that you would be alone. You came into this apocalypse alone. Everyone you ever knew and loved, dead. Then you would die alone. Everyone that you ever knew and loved being just as dead.

But then, it happened.

Everyone else saw him before you had. Hugging and reuniting with their friend. Their family. He didn't linger with anyone too long, though. His main priority was you. It was always you, and would always be. He had to make sure that you were safe. That he knew you were safe. "She's in the house. Up in your room. I think she's reading." Tara told him, and he nodded. Giving a soft thanks before racing off in order to find you. To hold you and never let go.

He crept up the stairs. His body trembling along with his breath. Doing his best to not be too fast and startle you, but the closer he got. The more he couldn't help himself. Finally reaching the door to your guys' room. Reaching out to touch the handle but to his surprise. It turned for him. Watching with cautious and wide eyes as the door opened and he was met with you. His girl. His woman. His wife. Though the two of you weren't official, nor did either of you talk about marriage. He considered you to be his spouse. May as well be since his eyes were only ever on you since they first saw you.

"Daryl," You didn't have time to say anything else. Cut off by Daryl pulling you in for a desperate kiss. He was never good with words, anyways.

The hunter was quick to get his point across too. About how much he missed you. How he wasn't about to let you go anytime soon, either. It didn't take long for him to push you onto the bed once the door was shut, and to have your clothes on the floor along with his own.

"Daryl," you called his name out, over and over like a soft prayer. Hands roaming one another's bodies with desperation. Pulling each other as close as you both could. Hungry mouths worked at either kissing anywhere they could reach or muttering soft nothings to one another.

Daryl was fairly rough with everything at first too. Like he was trying to tell you both that this was real. That he was here and so were you. His hips were fast. Each thrust within you deep and desperate. trying to chase what you both wanted. It was rough and fast, until it wasn't.

A slight worry set within you when his thrusts slowed, finally coming to a hault. His face buried in the crook of your neck. You were about to ask if you did something wrong until you heard the rigid and quiet sob that came from your lover. Frowning while your arms reached out to hold him. One hand on the back of his head, while the other rested on his back. Rubbing with soft motions while shushing him. Peppering the side of his head with kisses.

"Dar', honey, look at me. I'm here, you're back. Please, don't cry," you lulled, your eyes watering at the sound of his cries in your ear. You hated to hear or even see him cry, but you were glad that he did every so often. He was so good at bottling everything up. It scared you a lot of the time.

"Dar', sweetheart, please, look at me. Let me see you," He listened this time. Pulling away from your neck to look down at you. His blue eyes bloodshot. He had a black eye and a busted lip, which only made you frown more. Fingers tracing his face with your eyes. "Oh baby, what'd they do to you." He grunted, turning his face to get you to stop. "I thought I lost you," he muttered, a tear rolling down both of your faces this time. Your own lip quivering at his words. Everything finally setting in with both of you. "I thought I lost you too, Dixon." He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against your own.

"Did they touch you?" You shook your head, hands still holding the sides of his face. "No, think ya scared them too much," Daryl chuckled lightly at that. Opening his eyes to look at you again. "Yeah, maybe."

It was silent again. The both of you holding onto one another while staring back at each other. "I love you," you couldn't help but smile at his words. Running your fingers through his hair. Watching his eyes flutter shut and reluctantly open once more. You could easily put him to sleep by just playing with his hair. "I know you do, you have a way of telling me with your actions, always have. I love you too, mountain man." He rolled his eyes at the nickname and you chuckled. "I don't tell ya it enough, I love you. Really do. That's all I thought 'bout, too. That I don't tell ya it enough." He muttered, and you sighed. Resting your hands on his shoulders, rubbing them slightly. "Daryl, I told you. You say it without saying it. I know you do." He sighed with a nod, smiling faintly as you leant up to kiss the side of his mouth. Wanting to continue what the both of you started moments prior, but he wasn't done with his tangent. You wouldn't stop him though, you'd let him open up anytime he wanted to.

"All I could think about in there was you. If I'd see ya again. Hear ya," he spoke. "I was scared he'd.." He paused, breathing a bit heavily for a second as he thought. "Scared he'd take ya from me." "Dar', I'd go out fighting before I let him do anything to me." He chuckled, reaching up to brush some hair from your forehead. "That's what I was worried 'bout. If I lost you," "but you didn't, and I'm here. You're here. We're safe." "For now." You didn't say anything more after that. Only wrapping an arm around the back of his neck while staring up at him.

"I love you," he muttered again, and you nodded, leaning up to brush your lips against his. "I love you too, Daryl." He closed the gap between the both of you rather quick. Humming lowly into the kiss while rolling his hips against yours. Still nestled inside you.

It wasn't long before he was rolling his hips. Rolls turning into thrusts. He didn't move fast and rough like before, though. He took his time. Letting you know how much he loved and cared about you with his actions, again. His hand coming between the both of you to run his fingers between your folds. Your soft noises you released into his mouth were enough for him to continue. Lips traveling down to your neck. Leaving soft kisses and then love marks and bites. All while his fingers rubbed over your clit. Smirking softly as your hips bucked and rolled in order to chase your high, but Daryl didn't let you. No, not at first. He was dragging this out as long as he could.

"Wanna cum with ya," he muttered, kissing your collar bone with a groan. "Then do it," a growl left his throat at your words. Hips finally picking up to the speed the both of you were wanting. His finger rubbing a bit rougher on your bud. Not too harsh, but just enough it had your back arching off the bed. Hands grasping at him to ground yourself. One hand Tangling in his hair while the other clawed at his back. His lips came crashing on yours. Muffling the noises the both of you made as your bodies met their high.

You were the first to go, Daryl following right after. He came inside of you, but you didn't care. Not right now, at least. That was a problem to deal with later. Right now it was all about you and him. Holding each other after your highs became lows and you were both back on earth.

He pulled out, slowly. Doing his best not to hurt you, or himself in the overstimulated discomfort you were both in. "Wow," he looked at you with a brow raised as he used a Kleenex to wipe you both up. "I don't think we've fucked that hard in a while," you chuckled, and he chuckled back. Tossing the napkin into the bin before crawling back over you. A hand cupping the side of your face with a hum. "Ya tellin' me I only fuck good when one's of us nearly dies?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your lips. You shook your head, rubbing at his chest. "No, 'course not, we've just been..." "Busy?" You nodded, kissing him again. "Yeah," he sighed.

He finally laid next to you after tugging his shirt back on. Letting you pull your own and your underwear back on as well. Daryl kept the shirt on so no one would see his scars beside you. You were mostly dressed so if anything happened no one would see you nude. A precaution to keep both your and Daryl's minds easy.

Daryl pulled your body close to his own. Strong arms wrapped safely around your waist. "How 'bout we blame it on Rick." he muttered, and your brows furrowed, an amused smile on your lips. "What? Our sad sex life before today?" He chuckled, pressing another kiss to your lips. "Yeah. He's always got us doin' stuff. No time for me to fuck ya." You snorted, rolling your eyes while swatting at his chest. "Shut up and go to sleep, Dixon." He smiled, pulling your closer while resting his chin atop your head. "Love you," you smiled, kissing his throat with a tired sigh. "I love you, too. I'm glad you're safe and home." "Me too, darlin'."

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E6: Ascension

Case: Part two of our three part (+ one fever dream) arc begins with a very Will Graham-esque "this is my design" bit with Mulder visiting Scully's apartment, which has now become a crime scene. (Ik X-Files predates Hannibal, it's just what it reminded me of, leave me alone. Plus, Red Dragon predates X-Files by over a decade, soooo) 

Anyway, Scully has been kidnapped by Duane Barry, oopsie daisy! He needs someone to take his place for the next abduction, and he has selected Scully for the job. Good thing Mulder and Krycek are on the case and manage to get her home safe and sound before the end credits roll!

Or... maybe actually they do the opposite of that.

Mulder gets progressively scruffier throughout the episode and nearly kills himself and Krycek on the road bc he hasn't been sleeping since Scully got kidnapped; Scully loses her necklace for the first, but CERTAINLY not last time; Mulder and Krycek take a couple's vacation to a ski resort and Mulder holds a tram operator at gunpoint for suggesting that the tram is "not safe"; Krycek messes up his carefully slicked back hair while pistol whipping the tram operator and then fails to murder Mulder in what may or may not end up being just one of many assassination failures in his pathetic assassin career; Scully is taken by "THEM!" (whoever they are); Duane Barry is dead and the military performs the autopsy bc "there wasn't an FBI pathologist available this morning" (☹️); and Assistant Director Skinner apparently has had the power to reopen the X-Files this whole time??

Does someone die in the cold open: No, but Mulder does do the worst consoling job ever by approaching Scully's mom with Scully's blood on his outstretched hand and then staring blankly at her when she asks where her daughter is.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: This man should not be operating any sort of heavy machinery be it a car, a tram, or an early 1990s projector. (Of the three, though, the only one he doesn't operate during this episode is the projector.)

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Loooool. Nah. Scully's gone, Duane Barry is dead, Krycek has disappeared, and Mulder is left with nothing but some overgrown stubble, scruffy hair, and a worsening of his already substantial insomnia problem.

Whodunit: THEM!!! (Aliens? The shadow government? Both? Neither? Who's to say?)

Convictions: Oh hon. You had to have known Duane Barry was never getting out of this alive, right?

Did they solve it: I am going to go with "no, but." No, but Mulder (and Skinner) are at least aware that they have been massively screwed over, and so Skinner reopens the X-Files in retaliation, and I'll consider that a leveling up. You may have lost all your evidence, almost got framed for murder (tho tbf you did strangle the shit out of him), and got your only real friend in the world abducted by aliens/the shadow government/THEM, but at least you got your special files back, Mulder! I'm sure the first X-Files case you take on after their reopening will be very important, and not one that is just a fourteen year old emo kid's wet/fever dream fantasy...

But, ah, you know what? I'm getting ahead of myself. Ad break! 

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Quitting your job and disconnecting your home phone number. Are you currently leading a double life, pretending to be someone you're not in order to gain the trust of someone you intend to royally fuck over for your bosses in the shadow government? Have you completed your mission and are ready to move onto bigger and better* things? Well, then that means it's time for you to try quitting your job and disconnecting your home phone number! Don't worry, it's the 90s, you don't have a cell phone with a tracker on it, nobody will be able to find you. Go live your life, free as a bird. I mean, at least for now... *We do not guarantee that the things you move onto will be bigger, and we CERTAINLY don't guarantee that the things you move onto will be better. In fact, they might be worse. There's actually a high likelihood that they will indeed be worse. But don't worry about that right now. Everything is going to be probably possibly maybe just fine.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 15 (streak not broken bc i didn't bother to restart it in the first place 👉🏽😎👉🏽)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 9 (teeeechnically she does say "mulder, it's me" in this episode, but it's the same one from the end of the previous episode, so counting it felt like cheating)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 10 ½ (if only krycek were competent 😔) 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 10 (i think as long as we don't know her whereabouts it's valid to consider her as being in mortal danger)

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 15 (mulder climbing a hill and staring longingly at the sky is so insanely melodramatic that i'm counting it)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 5 (ngl the line "there wasn't an fbi pathologist available this morning" hits the feels a bit)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 19!! (and he was extremely unhelpful 😃)

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of (Plot Relevant) Nosebleeds: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3 (no, but he did completely ignore all warnings in regards to using the unstable tram thing, which is similar in spirit, if not in practice)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 4 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2 

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 13 (but he NEVER. FUCKING. FINISHES THEM. look at that fucking ashtray at the end of the episode. he takes like one drag and then puts them out. why? why not smoke the whole thing?? drives me insane)

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 2! (she's not having a good time!)

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 2

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 3!!!!!! (get outta town, rat boy! no, seriously, get outta town. we'll call you when we need you to fuck something up later)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 11½ (ascend to the stars, mother fucker)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5

[nattikay]

I just finished the last season of Sweet Tooth on Netflix, I gotta vent a little, warning that this post probably won't be everyone's cup of tea but I gotta say it somewhere. [there be spoilers for anyone who may care about that]

so I've been pretty invested in this show since the first season; yeah, some of the acting is pretty corny and some of the effects look a tad clunky (hello awkward Bobby puppet), but I still enjoyed the characters well enough and wanted them to succeed and also, hey, I'm a simple woman, show me cute animal-people and I'm hooked.

But....I've gotta admit that I really didn't care for the ending. Within the last three episodes of the show they pivot from "we've gotta find a cure for this virus to save humanity" to "actually on second thought humans are the REAL disease and their extinction is the cure" which........ewwwwwwww, no dude, keep your cringe nihilism to yourself k thx

And yeah, in the end they do stop the virus so the remaining humans can survive for a while longer, but all babies are still born as hybrids meaning "humanity" is going to die off within the next 80 years or so anyways.

and they try to dress this up as a great mercy, and they say oh, yeah humans have some good in them but it always comes with Bad, unlike the hybrids who got all the Good in humanity but also they're Better because they're part animal so all the Bad will die off with the humans and hybrids will live in peace forever and I'm sorry but I call bullcrap

Animals are not these great bastions of altruism and morality. Animals rape. Animals steal. Animals kill. Animals cannibalize. Animals eat prey alive.

Even the "oh but humans are greedy and want to take everything and upset the balance of nature" spiel. Buddy, contrary to what some environmentalist stories want to tell you, animals do not actually have a concept of "the balance of nature". That's why invasive species are such a big problem. Introduce an invasive predator into a region and several native prey species go extinct. Those predators don't have a concept of "conserving resources", they'll just keep hunting as long as they're hungry.

And it's not a problem unique to predators either. Remember when wolves were hunted to extinction is parts of the US and then the deer populations exploded and ate all the grass and the whole ecosystem kinda fell apart until wolves were re-introduced to the region? The deer didn't give a crap that they were eating all the grass. They weren't even consciously aware of it. They're not capable of conceptualizing abstract ideas like that.

Natural ecosystems have a balance to them because they're intricately designed systems, not because the animals that live in them are actively making Morally Right Choices to preserve them.

One major thing that separates humans from animals is that we have the capacity for morality. We have the ability to comprehend abstract concepts like freedom and conservation and honor and sacrifice etc., and with it the ability to make moral choices. We are capable of great good, and great evil. You cannot have the capacity for one without having the capacity for the other, because good and evil rest on your choices. Even if you go through your whole life doing only "nice" things, if you did those things because you had no other option, no say in the matter, are you really "good"? Good people choose to be so. I love animals and they're super cool and all, and yes some of them are very smart, but they are not really capable of making that choice (no, I don't care how much of an "angel" your dog is). They are amoral, neither morally good nor bad.

And the hybrids? It's clearly shown that they have the same capacity for choice as humans....which in turn means that yes, whether the narrative wants to admit it or not, the hybrids still have the capacity for evil just like the humans did. Giving them some animal ears or special powers doesn't change that.

Not to mention that all but one of the hybrids we've met are children. They haven't even hit puberty yet!! Of course a bunch of innocent kids are gonna look like sweet little angels compared to hardened desperate adults trying to survive an apocalypse holy flip! And just because Gus happens to be a particularly good person who strives to see the best in others does not mean that all other hybrids for the rest of time are gonna be the same! He's not good because he's part deer, he's good because he's Gus! Because he believes in good things and acts on it!

The one adult hybrid we briefly meet isn't a sweet little kid who sees the best in others, he's a grouchy old man who wants human genocide. And while I can totally understand why he as a character feels that way....that's not good dude!!!! That's not any better than the humans who want to kill the hybrids!

You didn't "remove worst of humanity and preserve the best of it" by replacing humans with hybrids. You just gave them a makeover.

Human/animal hybrids as a character concept are totally up my ally, I think they're very cool, but pretending that being part animal makes them inherently morally better than regular humans is just ridiculous imo.

tl;dr I just really hate the nihilistic "humans are uniquely evil, deserve to go extinct as a Punishment, and literally any other sapient species would be better" trope and I'm very disappointed that this show pivoted to that at the last minute.

[skyeslittlecorner]

can you post some photos on chapter five? ive been struggling to get to it and im impatient if ykwim 😭😭

Don't worry anon, I got you covered! Let's break this chapter for three parts - one for story and for one for both H-scenes. There are a lot of things to look forward to~

Warning: HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. In fact, I'll try to shorten the whole thing and focus on plot-relevant facts, so for those who want to go through chapter 5 on their own, come back when you're done! (Or just skip to h-scene, they are marked.)

Ch5 - STORY

First, I would like to warn that my opinion about it may be unpopular. As someone who hadn't paid much attention to Hades before, I fell in love with it after this episode. I adore ch5. A lot of people hate these boys to the core for what they did, and I understand and respect their opinion, but I'm with Hades here. I would love to analyze their behavior in more detail, but we don't have time for that today.

Summarizing this chapter is going to be hard because a lot of things happened. Let's go!

We start by going down a slide sponsored by Leviathan and his Lovecraftian friends (TM). But worry not! It seems we have friends even in the realm of death. Say hello to grandpa!

We talk a little, being in a questionable mood. Well, who wouldn't be? But we have the opportunity to know Solomon better, and I'm getting to understand why all devils love him. By the way, it turns out that we are his last descendant.

Sorry Solomon, you're still a peepaw.

He also advises us not to be afraid of Leviathan and not to be submissive to him, and then in a brilliant way he sends us back to the world of the living. Of course, our beautiful king is delighted.

We take Grandpa's advice to heart and finally stand up to Levi. He's surprised, but he doesn't try to kill us again (for now). We witness him hanging one of his subjects, who dared to ask about an accident from 311 years ago.

Fun fact. Devils must have much stronger spines. Do you know how people used to die by hanging? The first methods involved cutting off oxygen, but later they involved into breaking the cervical spine and this was considered a standard hanging execution. Leviathan must be gentle (how bad it sounds in this context), he could kill instantly with a loop like that.

Back to the point. We find out that we also have a noose around our neck, and Leviathan makes use of it. We're hanging, but we finally begin to meet Leviathan's nobles one by one.

Glasyal plots (and ends up hanging for it), Foras argues with him, along the way we learn that Leviathan needs us in his plan, and, you know, maybe killing us isn't the smartest thing he can do. Only Barbatos realizes that maybe it's a good idea to stop hanging us like wet laundry. He's the only one so openly nice to us.

Remember that.

Another fun fact, our MC is of medium height (~160 cm I guess). Leviathan is 187cm, Foras should be similar. I only noticed this because I myself am 180 cm so they are not so strappingly tall for me.

Foras wants to take us away from Levi and explain everything calmly, but the king does not agree. We learn that the guys know where the seed from the Tree of Knowledge is. We're supposed to go with them, and we have about a 50/50 chance of survival. Also, we have the opportunity to see a very rare phenomenon, a joking Leviathan.

Sweetie.

Colossally shortening the rest, the cavalry arrives! You didn't have to. I haven't had time to fuck them yet.

And this cavalry is very much at odds with the nobles of Hades. Most of the time is them arguing. Fortunately, they didn't kill each other…

...because Barbie decided to kill us.

Barbatos is poisoning us to force Bimet and Valefor to join the plan. While we are unconscious, we have flashes of Leviathan's past, which is too sad to analyze considering that we are about to jump to hot scenes now. Besides, most of us already know what this is about. Experience it for yourself. Really. We also learn that not only angels experimented on children, and a little about Mammon's childhood.

In the end, we learn that in Ch6 we must visit the abandoned laboratory in Tartaros, where the seed from the tree of knowledge should be, because as Solomon's descendants, we may be the only ones who will not be killed by it.

Ch5 - VALEFOR H-SCENE

(I really wanted to post CG from Valefor's scene here, but I don't know if Tumblr will block it.)

TIME FOR DESSERT!

Bimet is the first to realize that we lack devil energy. He wants to take care of it, but Valefor brushes him off, sends him to scout, and overall Bimet is our wingman, what a bro lol

Since we are away from Satan and Gehenna, we cannot summon Minhyeok's room. MC thinks she's outgrown it anyway. So we can count on the next scenes to be more and more creative.

It all starts with us telling Valefor that he reminds us of Mammon. And what a beast it brings out of him.

And he loves it.

...aaand then, someone wants to interrupt. Bimet informs us about this and goes to chase them out. Valefor stands with us at the door to see if anyone else is coming. Yes. Naked. With us. In us.

Fortunately, no one catches us and after the entire session we fall asleep in our knight's arms.

I really would like to do more screenshots, but tumblr is blocked… and there's one more part to come.

Ch5 - LEVIATHAN H-SCENE

At least you look beautiful and the platform won't block you.

And here's what I love the most. It was sick. I'd love to experience it again.

I would love to make a whole post ONLY about this and just leave the screenshots.

We are in Leviathan's office, and he interrogates us when we feel like we are lacking devil energy. We want to go to Bimet, but do you think our jealous king will allow it? Oh no no no. And of course, his hands land on our chin and then our neck. He doesn't like our hickeys.

We start asking him valid questions like "why are you jealous of us if you hate us?" So he silences us with a kiss. A deep, suffocating kiss. This is also how Leviathan discovers that we gain their energy through "intercourse with the devil".

And how can I not fall in love with this idiot.

The conversation that follows gives us some light on his approach to sex and to relationships in general. Which is… sad. It fits him perfectly, but it's sad. And I would also like to analyze this someday, this character is beautiful and how he's written is even more beautiful, especially from writer's point of view. He does not want the admiration of his people or the hatred of angels. The only thing he can believe and consider to be sincere is that someone's dislike. This is something that might actually turn him on.

At first he rules, he asks questions and he hangs us. And he does everything he can to piss us off. He hands us a whip and lowers us down.

Just disliking him isn't enough, and he works diligently to make us hate him. He insults Minhyeok, us, wishes us dead, and the more he sees our anger, the more he gets excited and talks more. He knows that we are connected to Satan and we will know how to release our anger. On him.

He finally got what he wanted. We straddle him and, with the help of Satan's strength, begin to strangle him. Neither you nor he are gentle.

Also, his words (unfortunately, I already have a limit on screenshots). "Do not bite your lips. Bite mine instead." I beg, let me violate him even more.

Compliment from Leviathan, nice. In the end, we fall asleep cuddled up to him, and he has no intention of giving us up to anyone. As in the case of Sitri, he only opens up to us when we are so unconscious that we do not see his softer side.

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

AND THATS ALL! What a ride it was, I hope I was a good guide. One day I will go into the Hades boys in more depth, but for now, let this be a shortcut for everyone who is still struggling with ch5.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Hi, Queen! I'm on bedrest after a surgery I had last week and is currently watching QLs all day. I'm flying through some high heat ones atm and loving every minute although I'm physically uncomfortable. To some it may be controversial to say this, but I connect more with the high heat stuff than the romance because that's who I am irl too.

Anygay, I think I've seen you write about high heat shows before and was wondering what your favorite sex scenes in QLs are?

I'm only about 100 QLs into my journey after almost a year of watching. Most of them are Korean before I found Thai QLs and then Japanese, Taiwanese, and some Vietnamese. You have watched many more than me so could you give me your best tips? My favorites so far are everything in Bed Friend and the one at the hotel/motel in the Pornographer movie. What are yours?

I hope you have an amazing day!

Hi, @whatevenisthishellhole (and the three Anons who sent me similar asks when 4 Minutes was airing)!

Excuse my late reply. I've been super busy throwing paint at canvases a la the boys in I Saw You in My Dream (not quite, but similar). I've also been battling with this post for a day or two since I had to remove a lot of the gifs and videos I originally added to this post to get it unflagged. But, here we are!

First, I hope your surgery went well and I'm happy that you're having a great time even though you're uncomfortable.

Second, it's not controversial to say you like the high heat stuff! Unless you're a child. But neither you nor I am.

I absolutely get where you're coming from. As someone who prefers sexual relationships over romantic ones, I also prefer the high heat shows/films (even though I also watch shows/films that don't include sex). We're all different, just like it's supposed to be. And since you and I both seem to like the high heat stuff, let's talk about it, shall we?

Also, even though we often talk about heat levels regarding QLs, what we consider high or low heat is very individual for all of us. So, I've chosen to include scenes that I personally rank mid to higher heat levels to give some range. And I've chosen scenes that show different ways of having sex because I like variety.

And, btw, thank you for writing "sex scenes" and not "NC scenes" because I have beef with the latter term (which is super weird considering I'm a vegetarian. But, anyway...).

Third, I don't get triggered. So I suggest that you (and anyone else reading this) look up possible trigger warnings before you dive into most shows in this post if you're sensitive to anything in particular.

Fourth (and the last one before we get into the good stuff, I promise), I've watched 350+ QL shows/films in about 14 months (it was my escape last year as I tried to survive some grief, which is why the number is so high) and I have a terrible memory. There's a chance I've forgotten most of the ones I liked. But I will try to remember (lol).

With all that said, let's finally dive into my list (which I've gathered in no particular order)!

My Favorite Sex Scenes in QLs

Mike and Jack in Twins (Thailand)

To be honest, the heat level can be discussed here. But! I wanted to include this scene because Mike and Jack were everything to me when Twins was airing (and had I been on tumblr at the time, I would've screamed about these two) because they were friends with benefits who stayed that way without getting into a romantic relationship (which I want to see more of since romantic relationship aren't the be-all and end-all for everyone).

Ryou and Anda + Thee and Jet in Love Stage!! (Thailand)

I couldn't find a gif of the scene I like, but it was in the 6th or 7th episode or something. It's the sequence where Ryou and Anda's sex scene is interwoven with Thee (Anda's brother) and Jet (his secret boyfriend) also having sex.

Phat and Saengtai in La Pluie (Thailand)

I missed this when it was airing in 2023 but watched it earlier this year instead. And I loved it so much (one of my absolute favorite shows I've watched this year). One of the reasons is the chemistry and sexual tension between Phat and Saengtai, which is on fire when they almost have sex at Saengtai's apartment, when Saengtai sucks Phat's dick, and when they have sex at Phat's apartment.

All three of those scenes are great. But I particularly love the scene at Phat's apartment because, now that Saengtai feels ready, Phat gets to give Saengtai pleasure too.

Rak and Mahasamut in Love Sea (Thailand)

Of course I'm listing Mut fucking Rak's face on my list because that scene was iconic! (I couldn't find a gif of that particular moment, but this one is from the same scene that leads up to Mut fucking Rak's face:)

Charlie and Babe in Pit Babe (Thailand)

Honestly, this scene was almost omitted from my list because the racing cutting into the important shit every fucking second is driving me nuts (lmao!). But Charlie's gaze and Babe's facial expressions convinced me to add it anyway. So, here we are.

Alan and Jeff in Pit Babe (Thailand)

Their first time was good, but their sex scene in the last episode was great. The way they were looking at each other, the way they were kissing and touching each other... I loved it.

Thantatch and Lomnaw in 2 Moons: The Ambassador (Thailand)

If I remember correctly, I thought most of this show was meh, especially in the beginning. But! I remember I was surprised to see sex scenes in the 2 Moons series because there hadn't been anything beyond kissing and removing shirts in the previous ones.

The two scenes I liked most in this one were the ones where Thantatch and Lomnaw suck each other's dicks.

This is the lead-up to the first one where Lomnaw sucks Thantatch's dick:

And this is during the second one where Thantatch is doing wicked shit to Lomnaw under the blanket:

To be honest, these scenes are a bit sweeter than savory for me, but they still make the cut because the acting felt very natural, and, again, I was pleasantly surprised with these scenes (and the other sex scenes in this show).

King and Uea in Bed Friend (Thailand)

Just like you, I loved Bed Friend. Mainly for the chemistry between Net and James.

Honestly, you can't make me choose which sex scene I liked most because I loved them all. Even King's jump up on the bed.

But I just want to say that the lighting was immaculate in this particular scene:

(It took me ages to try and find a gif of this before I gave up and went with a static screenshot instead, lol.)

Mangkorn and Yai in Big Dragon (Thailand)

I don't necessarily vibe with Mos and Bank's cutesy stuff, but I love them when they throw high heat at me like they did at Mangkorn's place in Big Dragon.

Sailom and Namnuea in Wedding Plan (Thailand)

The moment when Sailom could finally be himself around Namnuea, after all those years of hiding himself because of his family and to protect his best friend (Yiwa), was everything to me. Sailom was starving, and Namnuea was more than willing to let himself be devoured.

Nueng and Anueng in Blank (season 2) (Thailand)

As someone with a biting kink, this scene was made especially for me. And I appreciated every fucking millisecond of it.

(Sidenote: I would let Faye do whatever she wants with me.)

Ji and Achi in To Be Continued (Thailand)

Their first time (in the past) was great (up until the point where misunderstandings and miscommunication happened, but let's forget that for a moment, lol). They both wanted it so bad that it was palpable. And I loved this scene just as much as I loved these two miscommunicating idiots.

Kawin and Pluem in Ghost Host Ghost House (Thailand)

If I remember correctly (which I might not), I think we only got two sex scenes in this show, and I loved them both. So I'm obviously including both.

First, we have their first sex scene, which has a build-up that's amazing (this video is longer than the scene in the actual show, btw).

Then we have the scene after they reunite in the last episode (I also think this one is longer than the scene in the show).

Jom and Yai in I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thailand)

Since I'm an ice queen who has a hard time crying, I tend to get obsessed with things that melt my ice and open up my floodgates. This is the first and only time that I can remember having cried while watching a sex scene. That's partly why I love it so much.

It is beautiful and emotional because Yai knows that he will eventually lose Jom. That grief hit me so hard (which is why I cry every time I rewatch this show) even though Yai hasn't lost Jom yet. It's just so beautiful and one of my absolute favorite sex scenes.

Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi in We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd (Taiwan)

Heat level can be discussed, but this scene is filled with so much emotion, angst, and desperation that I can't help but love it.

Chen Yi and Ai Di in Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Heat level can be discussed, I'm just here for the chemistry and the neon lights, because both are amazing (and I'm such a slut for neon lights).

Tharn and Phaya in The Sign (Thailand)

I loved their chemistry and I loved all the neon lights in this scene (have I mentioned that I'm a slut for neon lights?).

Aob and Puen in Playboyy (Thailand)

This tattooed daddy and his baby were everything to me in Playboyy. Aob had some solid walls around his heart, but when it came to taking care of his baby, he delivered with a solid handjob.

Sky and Prapai in Love in the Air (Thailand)

Their first time is great (the neon lights in that scene are gorgeous). But the sex scene I like the most with these two characters is the one in the special episode where Prapai fucks Sky on the conference table at his office. I mean, Prapai unbuttoned Sky's pants with his fucking teeth. That boy was hungry.

Sun Bo Xiang and Lu Zhi Gang in History 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Let's forget the ending of this show and just focus on these two for a moment because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing (in the gym after lockdown, btw) fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. I loved it!

Tan and Bun in Manner of Death (Thailand)

I can't make a list of my favorite sex scenes without including Max and Tul in MOD. I mean... Max is fucking fisting his hands in Tul's hair. And sucking lips.

And they're plant dads! What more could I want? (Transplant. That's the more I want.)

Mingmueang and Namning in Be Mine Superstar (Thailand)

I can barely remember anything about this series except Mingmueang and Namning. Their chemistry was on fire. And there's just something about Jo (who plays Namning) that pulls my attention to him. I can't take my eyes away. Pairing him with Bosston (Mingmueang)... I'm still hoping their spin-off will see the light of day. Pretty fucking please!

The Novelist/Pornographer + Mood Indigo (Japan)

I'll be honest and say that I love every scene in this whole series from the first show to the last short (I have a sweet spot for the darker and more complex Japanese stuff). And that includes the sex scenes.

If I were to pick my favorite one, though, I would agree with you, @whatevenisthishellhole and say the hotel scene is fire.

(Also, as an advocate of safe and comfortable sex, I especially love the scene in Mood Indigo where Rio is stretching his anus to prepare himself for penetrative sex.)

Kim Sung Min and Yoo Joo Hyuk in Love Class Season 2 (Korea)

This scene is iconic to me when it comes to Korean BLs. I can't remember if I've ever seen anything like this in a Korean BL before (but, again, my memory is fucked, so feel free to remind me of how wrong I am). I've seen this and more explicit scenes in one or two gay films, but not that I can remember in any Korean BLs.

Anyway...

I love the buildup of the scene, which starts on their date, and all the way throughout this scene. It feels real, the chemistry is amazing, and it has a more mature vibe (as in, two adults who are confident, comfortable with each other, and know what they want). I love it so much.

Jao and Wayu Two Worlds (Thailand)

I'm sorry Max and Nat, but these two stole this show for me.

Let's forget for a moment that Jao has been badly wounded, had a fever, and that, apparently, sex can heal everything (especially if it's sex on the floor of an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods). Because let's be honest, this scene was great in every sense of the word.

It was beautiful, it was raw, the lighting was gorgeous (I have to include the visuals as the artist I am), the way they were looking at each other, the way they moved. I mean, fuck me, this was a great scene.

Kinn and Porsche in KinnPorsche (Thailand)

I can't make a list like this and not include KP. And, for me personally, the pool scene is the best Kinn and Porsche sex scene.

Vegas and Pete in KinnPorsche (Thailand)

And since I love toxic little shits (Vegas being one of my favorites) as well as KP, I obviously had to add Vegas and Pete's sex scene as well.

Also, I'm such a slut for the neon colors in this one!

Korn and Tonkla in 4 Minutes (Thailand)

Say what you will about Korn's performance (or lack thereof) but Bas and Fuaiz acted the fucking shit out of their scenes. My favorite sex scene with Korn and Tonkla was the one in the first episode because it said so much about their dynamic (sugar daddy/sugar baby, Korn's needs taking priority, Tonkla wanting more, etc.). It was everything I wanted and more (the more being Bas's ass).

Great and Tyme in 4 Minutes (Thailand)

I mean... Great got his ass eaten...

Shin, Neo, and Miw in 3 Will Be Free (Thailand)

I'm a sucker for poly and would love to see more of that in our beloved QLs. So I ate up every single crumb of the little I got from this group in 3 Will Be Free (but I'm still starving, lol).

That's the end of the primary list of my favorites.

Looking back on it now, I wish I had more GLs on my list. Unfortunately, the ones I've watched are either too cute (which I don't vibe well with), too tame (for me at least) or don't include sex at all, or I probably haven't watched it yet (I've watched less than 20 so far). If you have any recommendations of great GLs, then, for the love of everything holy, send them my way! I'm starving over here, lol.

Others

I have a few more sex scenes that aren't my personal favorites (which is what you specifically asked for) but they're still good:

Ritsu and Masumi in The End of the World With You (Japan), all their sex scenes were very close to being on my favorites list (especially with Ritsu's laser focus on Masumi) but they don't feel as real to me as most of the others on my list above.

Rain and Payu in Love in the Air (Thailand), specifically the sex scene after Payu raced against the asshole (can't remember his name, lol).

Kita and Nathee in Beyond the Star (Thailand), their chemistry is amazing but I think I was too bored by the whole show to care, lol. These characters are played by Willi and Focus who are also in Battle of the Writers (which is currently airing) and they have even more amazing chemistry now.

There were some great sex scenes in For Him (Thailand) as well, but the production lost the story (and me) somewhere in the middle/end.

DIY

Sex doesn't need to be had with a partner (or several) either, so I want to highlight some solo parties too:

Yai in Big Dragon (Thailand) has a good time while looking at a photo of Mangkorn's hands.

Atom in The Rebound (Thailand) is thinking about Zen as he's masturbating and gets emotional.

Almond tries out a dildo in Knock Knock, Boys! (Thailand).

Miyata in Love is Better the Second Time Around (Japan) jerks off in the shower while thinking about Iwanaga.

Army in The Warp Effect (Thailand) also jerks off in the shower while thinking about his past love interest Joe.

Mut in Love Sea (Thailand) is also jerking off in the shower, but Rak decides to help him.

I'm pretty sure I've seen more masturbation scenes, but I can't seem to remember any more right now so these will have to do.

Other QLs that Highlight Sex in Different Ways

Before I hit publish on this post, I also want to share some QLs that highlight/talk about sex in different ways (besides the ones I've already mentioned throughout this post).

Knock Knock, Boys! (Thailand)

I know that you already know about this one, @whatevenisthishellhole. But, for anyone else wanting to watch a show that openly talks about sex and pansexuality in particular, this is a great one.

Let's Talk About CHU (Taiwan)

To be fair, this is primarily a straight show but it does have a gay pair that I absolutely love!

It also highlights sex from different perspectives and angles. For example, there are different age groups (from the youngest daughter in the central family to the parents in the same family), different types of relationships (fwb, creditor/debtor or gangster/gambler, two marriages whereby one has lasted 30+ years), and, as I mentioned, both straight and gay relationships.

(Fun fact: Helena Hsu, who plays Gao Shi De's mom in We Best Love, is also in this series.)

The Warp Effect (Thailand)

This queer show has a diverse set of characters (queer and straight) and a diverse range of relationships. It also highlights sex from different perspectives and the effects and consequences sex can have. It also includes some of the best female characters I've seen in queer shows from Thailand, and I love them so fucking much.

Final Words

Those are all the scenes I can remember at this point. I'm sure there are several that I've missed and some that I will remember as soon as I hit publish on this. But this will have to do for now.

I hope you find something you like.

And, thanks for your ask!

[burningexeter]

Here's what may very well be in my opinion one of the most interesting pieces of "What Could Have Been" or "cancelled media" that I think could've actually been awesome. So here's everything that I was able to gather on it and it was a looooooooooot.

Originally back in 2011/12, Dwayne McDuffie conceived of and was looking to develop a Gwen and Charmcaster spin-off series which he mapped out a fair amount of it and actually planned it out through-and-through. But what ended up happening to throw it out the window was as simple as can be — Dwayne McDuffie died. Therefore it ended up getting replaced with the still polarizing Omniverse.

So let's begin, shall we:

The tentative title for the series or rather idea was "Where The Magic Happens", named after the Ultimate Alien episode of the same name. Ledgerdomain was to be one of the main primary locations in the spinoff.

It was to take place a week after the events of UA's series finale and pick up Charmcaster's storyline from where it left off with the episode "Couples Retreat". Dwayne McDuffie liked both characters so much that he thought the two could hold their own show together.

Ashley Johnson and Kari Wahlgren were obviously gonna reprise their roles but Gwen would've had a different look from time to time. As in sometimes she would be in her AF look and other times she would be in her UA look.

The premise was essentially gonna be this:

Gwen and Charmcaster were gonna become unlikely and hesitant allies who team up to protect Ledgerdomain and fight crime with Gwen deciding to use her powers to help others full on and Charmcaster doing whatever it can to save her home.

A main plot point would've been Gwen developing a type of PTSD due to several things she's been through throughout the previous three shows, especially this scene from the OG episode "The Return". Being crushed by a tower as a child is giving her reoccurring nightmares that begin affecting her life only for Charmcaster to help her through it seeing as she owes it to her after "Where The Magic Happens" and "Couples Retreat".

On top of that, it would've also explained why the events of the OG Ben 10 happened coincidentally during the summer road trip as a sort of crawling out of the woodwork.

One thing that was to be featured in this series were easter eggs and references to the events of other media that heavily implied a shared universe. For example, in-passing they were to bring up the T-Rex from Isla Sornia Site-B rampaging through San Diego back in the late 90s. Sound familiar?

Another thing is it's still unclear as to whether or not Ben would've appeared in the show as either a cameo or a full on appearance in an episode. So that's still up in the air.

As far as I can tell, a three part pilot was written by McDuffie along with a series bible as he pictured the show running for five seasons but so far nothing has been released. Understandably.

An interesting thing here is there was gonna be a flashback episode that would've been set after the events of "Secret Of The Omnitrix" where Charmcaster kidnaps Gwen from her home for one final confrontation.

Another juicy tidbit would've been a reoccurring villain that ultimately becomes the main antagonist as the show progressed - in this case, it's a pastor who develops dangerously unstable telekinetic powers after surviving a plane crash. McDuffie wanted Clancy Brown to voice him.

Other actors that McDuffie wanted for the show were Michael Jai White, John Lithgow, John Kassir, Geno Segers, Mae Whitman, Colleen O'Shaughnessey, Morena Baccarin, Greg Abbey, Powers Boothe and Will Friedle. Cool.

One thing that was to play a major role was a large book that Charmcaster's written during her time in Ledgerdomain that chronicled the history of magic in the world as well as how the numerous alien races play a part in its creation.

Unfortunately here's the last piece of information that is available or I can find on this cancelled spinoff and it's a good one: Dwayne McDuffie wanted to have comic book-inspired title cards for the episode and he was eyeing Tim Jacobus as the artist to design them.

So yeah this would end up being replaced by the still very polarizing Ben 10: Omniverse and top it off, McDuffie passed away.

But it's still interesting nonetheless. Would any of you have loved to have seen this show.

Let me know what you think of all this.

[dragonprincebr]

[ENGLISH] Interview with Devon Giehl!

O Príncipe Dragão Brasil Team realized an exclusive interview with The Dragon Prince's Lead Writer and Producer, Devon Giehl! We asked about episode 8 from season 5, as well as questions by fans!

We translated the interview so more people can read about it! Here's the portuguese version.

Finnegrin was such an interesting and exciting villain! How did you guys created him, and is there any chance he survived?

Devon Giehl: It started because we wanted to take the characters to a sort of pirate town after they lost Zubeia’s help, they needed a boat to get down the coast. We started developing the idea of Scumport first and then we decided that the minor villain they would encounter In Scumport, this pirate-y lawless town would be Finnegrin. At first, he was only meant to antagonize the cast for one episode, but we had so much fun coming up with stories about the pirate town that we decided to invent the three-part arc in order to be able to fully tell a bigger story about the pirates and the trouble that Callum and co get in with him. So, we ended up saying “what if he chases them?”, “what if he’s part of the plot for the next 2 episodes?” that he pursues them and eventually captures them. We wanted him to be really mean, but also charismatic and charming and he was inspired by the character Al Swearengen from Deadwood. In terms of any chance of him surviving, I think it’s possible, I like to imagine that he had some magical or clever way of escaping his fate. I would like to see him again because I really had fun writing him. Maybe he got out, it’s possible, he’s a powerful ocean mage and a tidebound elf, so maybe. I know that there were jokes about why does he worry about drowning and I was like “why did I write it that way?” but I think even tidebound elves probably have ways of dying. It’s probably more of a metaphor than literally. If you go down far enough anything will be crushed down there. And she’s an Ocean dragon, she can probably just kill him in multiple ways.

In our understanding, a major theme of the episode was the lack of control of things that are bigger and deeper, like the tides of the Ocean, the dark parts of ourselves, which are things we can’t and shouldn’t control. And we wonder what will it mean for Callum, who values his freedom and his choices, when considering that in the last season, Callum lost control of himself when possessed by Aaravos, and now he reached this understanding of the Ocean arcanum.

DG: As a character, Callum explores the themes of freedom and to me that connects to themes of growing up in a way that there is this moment when you are young, especially when you are an early teenager, you gain some sense of self and you realize your individuality, your potential, the limitless power you can potentially have in the world.

You come into yourself in a powerful way and it’s really exciting and you feel like you can do anything. And then very quickly, as you get a little bit older, you come into a place where you realize it’s not that easy. There’s so many things in the world that are bigger and scarier than you, and you start to feel more powerless in how you may confront them, overcome them, and whether or not you even can, you start to make decisions more out of fear sometimes, out of desperation, you compromise parts of yourself, and it wears the way that person thought the world was infinite.

For Callum, in season 2 when he unlocked the Sky Arcanum, he was over the moon, he was excited, the entire world was open to him, he was free of everything. But now, he is a couple years older, a couple years wiser, for better and worse, and this is a scenario in which he was sort of backed into a corner and the only way out he could see was doing something that he didn’t want to do. To me it’s tough ‘cause it changes what he might think he originally believed in only connecting to the Sky. And it makes him a little bit more complex, he rattles his assumptions about his potential and he’s not quite sure anymore if he is who he thought he was going to be and I think all of us go through that at some point of our lives, and it’s really hard.

With maturity comes the sort of darker awareness of dangers of the world and your very small place in it. Whereas the Sky says “look, the whole world is yours, it’s open, beautiful and wild, you can be and do anything”, the Ocean arcanum says like “now, hold on, it’s not quite that easy and infinity possibility does mean that some of these possibilities could be bad”.

Another theme of the Ocean primal is accepting there are dark parts of ourselves, and it seems similar with the Moon primal, that recognizes that there are sides of other people that are hidden from view. So, is Callum ever going to try to tap into Moon arcanum?

DG: There’s a little bit of connection between the Ocean and Moon primal, because they are sort of the push and pull of the tide, they are related, they influence each other. In terms of Callum and the Moon Arcanum, from a more storytelling perspective he might. For me it’s hard to commit to that because the moon it’s Rayla’s special territory. It’s tough because if you have Callum to start to be able to do all this cool Moon magic, it actually kind lessens what Rayla is and what she is capable of. I don’t think it’s necessarily impossible, but I think it takes something away from her in a way we don’t really want the narrative to do currently, which is why we gave Callum his own identity with the Ocean and Sky for the moment. All of the moon stuff is very much how Rayla shines and she’s not going to get other arcanums as a moonshadow elf, we wanna make sure that she still gets to be cool and powerful with what we gave her and not just take that and give it to someone else.

And does the Ocean (and Moon) primal reflects the relationship between Callum and Rayla, considering we also saw the themes of trust between them – even when Rayla temporary hid the truth about what she was doing in his office – and eventually help mend their relationship?

DG: Ooh, that's spicy. I think both of them keep a lot inside, specially stuff that they feel ashamed of or frightened by, and I think that’s very natural for a lot of young people, even people in general. Rayla kept what she was doing from him, and it wasn't necessarily an attempt to hurt him or deceive him, it was very much because she didn’t know how to handle what she learned about the coins, she had no answer, she felt like “maybe if I learn a bit more, I can do something about it, but I’m not sure” and then in the end she has her little vision and she decides “I can’t figure this out right now, even though I really want to, I’m gonna have to go help Callum”‘. So I think it was very personal for her, even when you are in really loving relationships. They are not currently dating, but they do care about each other very deeply, there are still things you attempt to handle on your own and not share even with your partner.

I think Callum is a little bit the same way because there is that sort of like not quite mended trust between them, you also see reflected in how he doesn’t tell her right away about what he did to get out of Finnegrin’s grasp. I think once you unlock an arcanum, it doesnt mean you are gonna be a perfect person and act by the thing you’ve accessed, it just sort of is… sort of like mental breakthroughs, but even when you have little mental breakthroughs in real life, you can still screw up and take those breakthroughs and be destructive with them. The trust between them isn’t perfect yet, but they care about each other enough the other is not trying to hurt them. When Callum said at the end of season 4 “I’m so glad you are back”, everything that followed that, to me, was about him living by that realization, he’s not holding things against her, he understands and cares about who she is. It still is not what it was, but it’s more worthy to have her back in my life than to continue to be angry and resentful and sort of keep her at arm’s length. That doesn’t mean that they are gonna be totally honest and share everything with each other right away, so you still see both of them still taking on their individuals burdens and struggling with them.

What were Ezran and Soren feelings on Callum being tortured and then Rayla being almost fed to the Levianthan? We couldn’t get much into it because of time constraints, but we would love to know more!

DG: The episodes are only 22 minutes long. I would’ve love to do a scene where everybody has like a sort of immediate reaction. If I had to write that scene, I think I would have a lot of people, like Soren and Rayla, basically everyone, making a really big effort to see if Callum’s is okay and if Soren is okay, but I think Callum is in that moment… He doesn’t really want everybody’s immediate attention, he would probably say that he was fine and to check on everyone else, and that’s why you see Rayla with Stella, and everybody coming out, letting off the shackles and things like that and then you see Rayla going to Callum, I don’t think anybody ignored him or took him from granted, there was probably a very brief like, everybody checking in with each other, but his emotions were very confusing. He goes and sits down by himself, huddles up. Then Rayla reapproaches him and you see it play out as it did on the show. Everybody was pretty scared.

In this season, we saw Soren bring up the fact that Ezran, despite being king, is still a child. Is this conflict going to be brought up again, perharps by other people in his council or other Human Kingdoms?

DG: I won’t say how it comes out, but I think Ezran struggles as a really young kid versus the King. He talks like a twenty-five year old, he’s like really, really mature and trying so hard to “grown up”, but I think there’s parts of him that are suffering quietly because of that and we will see that come in to play. The fact that he is a child and there are parts of him that aren’t quite ready for all of this will definitely impact some things in the future.

Ezran’s grief in his short story was such an interesting take in his character, and i wonder if we’ll see more about it in the next seasons?

DG: Yes… Is that too much? That short story was more like a tease for the next three seasons, not just season five. So it’s something that's simmering in him during season 5, season 6 and onward. You’ll see a little bit more of it. He’s outworldly, very wise, very perfect, but there is a part of him that’s very vulnerable to pain, just like everybody, It’s easy to say out loud “peace and love and harmony”, but to actually act on that, not harbor any resentment, is super human. Even he is not immune to that. Everybody has things they are mad about.

QUESTIONS FROM THE FANS

Will the first human to ever do primal magic be explored more at some point?

DG: As far as I know, it’s really open ended and would be the subject of its own story, at some point, but i think it would be pretty cool.

Is there a connection between Aaravos and Callum’s mind, to the point of giving him nightmares? Or is there something else you can tell about a connection between them?

DG: I like the idea that he has nightmares, if anyone wants to write fanfiction about it, please do it! I don’t want to say much about their connection, but once Aaravos has control and touched him in some way, this connection still exists and it’s not something that just disappears, it’s with you Forever. That’s all i can say!

Will we see more of the Silvergrove, or if some of its inhabitants will be making an appearence?

DG: That’s too many spoilers, but we will see more Moonshadow stuff, and revisit their culture in a meaningful way.

Can you tell us anything about Claudia’s feelings on Rayla, or if they’ll be explored in the next seasons? Up until now, they didn’t share many positive interactions, and now Rayla was the main responsable for Claudia not freeing Aaravos, and also cut her leg (even if it wasn’t her intention).

DG: I think Claudia blames all 3 of them with the same amount of anger, I don’t think she focus on Rayla specifically. She sees Rayla as somebody who poisoned people who used to be her friends Against her, she hasn’t really taken the time to consider her as a person. She’s “The Elf” and has a really hard time moving on from that, and I think this encounter just reinforced that. It’s a very negative interaction and They didnt enjoy it. I don’t think she’s gonna blame Rayla especifically, it’s those 3 people – her old friends and the elf. It’s not a specific focus on Rayla.

Will we see more interactions between Soren and Corvus?

DG: Yes. Without saying too much about it, there’s na episode written by our sênior writer – Paige VanTassel – about Soren and Corvus and a storyline they go through. It’s extremely funny because Paige is the funniest writer in the room, and i hope people like it, cause they’re just so funny. The dynamic between Soren and his sort of goofy, himbo humour and Corvus who has deadpan reactions is delightful, and Paige made a Whole story about it. You’ll see it in a future season, and I love it!

In season 4, Rayla says “we can’t save everyone”, in response to her decision to no helping the Drake. Is this foreshadowing for something that might happen in the next seasons? Or it means a change of heart, in contrast to her saving Phyrrah back in season 2?

DG: I think when Rayla said that, she was having a very hard time. When you say things that are against your own nature – because i really think she didn’t mean it, she said the most mean, tough thing she could think of because nothing was going the way she wanted it to go. She was struggling with Callum, stuggling to connect with everybody, Soren was kind of annoying her, and I think she said something completely unlike her, in ways that are difficult to take back. And in the next morning she realizes what she did and freaks out, and it’s just another small mistake in her inability to process her own feelings very well. She routinely proves it’s not something she really believes, but in that moment she was feeling pretty low and angry, and it did not lead her to take great courses of action.

Could Callum adapt Manus Pluma Volantus the way he adapted the Ocean runes to allow his friends to breathe below the water?

DG: That’s a really good question. Maybe? To be honest we never though about that. Maybe it might not work the same way. But It’s possible!

About Terry: will his role remain as an emotional support for Claudia, or question what she does – which is something he already does, and in this season he did it twice, so we wonder if it’ll continue?

DG: I think he very much sees a version of Claudia that’s heroic, even though her methods are dark magic, and it’s a choice she’s making to save her father, and he genuinely believes that’s a good cause. He’s not like Rayla, raised to be na assasin, he’s kind of a normal elf, just a guy, he’s not quite aware of the world and the threat of Aaravos and what everybody else is fighting. He understands Claudia wants to save her father, but he has very limited knowledge on what that means.

From Claudia’s perspective, Aaravos is a “bro”, he sat on her shoulders for 2 years and helped preserve her father. So Terry's got a diferent set of information than the main cast, and sometimes people seem to not consider that – he doesn’t know everything our main characters have learned, and we’ve already seen him a couple times Calling her out when she tiptoes on the edge of cruelty, when she gets very angry, when she lashes out at Rayla and doesn’t give her the coins, when she lashes out at the dragon and wants to hurt it instead of just stopping, and that will continue. But he genuinely loves Claudia, he thinks she’s funny, charming, loyal to her family in a way that’s truly beautiful (even if for us, as the audience, is kinda twisted), he’s seen her best version and seen her do incredible things to get what she wants, but she’s slipping a little, and it’s alarming to him, so we’ll see more of that.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/11/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast&Crew Sightings; Rhys; Wee John Wondays; Rosie; Vico; Kaimana; Vico & Samantha Rei; Claudia; Articles; S2 Rewatch; Relax I'm From the Future Watch; Articles; People of Earth Season 1 Watch Party Reminder; Apple Tv Valentine's Video; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

= Rhys Darby =

Our favourite Captain attended the 28th annual Art Directors Guild Awards at The Ray Dolby Ballroom on February 10, 2024. He announced 2 of the winners and both those people weren't there to receive it! "This feels personal. What's so bad about meeting me?" NOTHING RHYS EVERY ONE OF US WILL COME MEET YOU DON'T WORRY. Thank you to @rhysdarbinizedarby for all the pics.

==Wee John Wondays==

Wee John Wonday's are back tomorrow! 10.30 PM GMT (5:30 PM ET, 1:30 PT) Looks like there's a Mystery Special Guest! Could it be Nathan? Or Matthew Maher perhaps? Someone cute!

== Rosie and Vico and Kaimana ==

Rosie also attended the Them Fatale last night! She got to meet up with Vico and Kaimana and it looks like everyone had an amazing time! These three are so adorable together.

Vico also met up with Samantha Rei! Check out their Live IG here

= Claudia O'Doherty =

Not OFMD related, but it's nice to see our lovely Claudia (Mary) out and about and being a goofy fun lady as usual.

== Articles ==

The Best New TV Shows to Stream on Max This Week

== Today's Rewatch Party / Relax I'm From the Future Watch ==

= S2 Rewatch Party =

Our friends @adoptourcrew had a Rewarch party with Q! today in honour of Season 2 being on iPlayer. Just some highlights for you folks not on twitter:

= Relax Im from the Future Highlights =

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Feb 12 - Feb 16: People of Earth Season 1

People of Earth is no longer on any streaming platform, but it is available for digital purchase (ex, on Amazon). If access is an issue, DM Me @gentlebeardsbarngrill (@iamadequate1 may be indisposed so I have access if you need it).

Season 1 watch next week from February 12th to February 16th. 

Skipping the week after in case people want to participate in the next Palestine strike. 

Season 2 watch from February 26th to March 1st 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#PiratesOfEarth 

#SaveOFMD 

#AdoptOurCrew

== Apple TV Valentine's Video ==

Some of the crew put together this lovely video for the Apple TV #WooAsACrew event! Check it out!

Vocals: twitter.com/ferventrabbit Video: twitter.com/Giulianaazr & twitter.com/ragsandmuffins

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by SaveOFMD Crew (@saveofmd_crew)

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies, it's that time again. Covid brain is still pretty strong with me tonight so I hope I don't sounds like a raving lunatic. Over here in the US it's Sunday night. For those of you on the other side of the world it's already Monday. I hope you all got some good rest this weekend, you deserve it. You've been working so very hard at just living lately. It's tough I know, and it can really wear on you over time. You're doing great though, you really are. It's so hard to see how far we've come when we are living in this constant state of survival, but you know what's really cool? There's a past version of you right now that is so incredibly proud of you. If that you could see yourself right now, they'd be in awe at how far you've come, and how much you've grown. Where you are today will be that same person in a few months or a year, marveling at your progress. You are doing so very well, even on tough days. Remember that. The crew and I are so very proud of you lovelies, and we know past you is too (and hopefully present you, but I understand if that's harder to do). Get some rest and keep at it, you got this. <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

So for tonight, I have a serious question. How the HELL did I miss that Taika did a TED talk, in a goddamn suit vest? Holy Frijoles, someone please make him wear these more often, it's uncomfortable how good he looks in that. Ted Talk Src.

So, uh ya, tonight's vest themed, IDK it just needed to happen, I suppose.

[lunarspiral1127]

X-men 97 episode 7 *SPOILERS*

Gambit's funeral

UGH, WHY?!?!? GAMBIT, NOOOOO!!!! 😭

I didn't recognize everyone at the funeral, but are they his friends from his past or his family? Cause I have no idea.

Nightcrawler with the eulogy. He sure has a way with words. Plus, him being there as a priest makes sense. Also, he looks so adorable with the robes.

Logan comforting Jubilee was sweet, bit it got me thinking that her screentime has been spent most with Roberto than the other X-Men.

Rogue going solo

Honestly, I don't blame her for hunting down Gyrich and Trask. Especially when it was later on revealed that they were involved but not the mastermind.

Cameos of Thunderbolt Ross and Captain America. Now, last time I saw 90s Steve Rogers was in the Spider-Man animated series during that show's own version of Secret Wars. Before that, he was trapped in a vortex with Red Skull. So, I guess he got out which is why he was there?

I was bummed that he didn't go help Rogue get Gyrich, but I get that he has to do things by the books. Cause that's who he is. Although, Rogue did him dirty by throwing his shield far into the mountains. It was funny and I don’t blame her for doing that. But I do kinda feel bad for him.

Her fighting Ross's army was cool. Also, if the base was durable against the Hulk, does that mean she's stronger than the Hulk?

Nightcrawler best brother! The way he talked to Rogue, hugged her when she was finally mourning over Gambit and Magneto (still don't like the Rogueneto ship), and even called her "sister"! God, I love this blue devil man! 😭 And if anything bad happens to him in the next three episode, Imma be pissed!

Roberto "coming out" of the Mutant closet to her mom

Well, it went better than when Iceman told his family in the X-2 movie. It was a relief to see his mom accepting of him and not hating him.

However, it's unfortunate that she told him to keep it a secret because of their business reputation l. It would've made more sense if it was to protect her son due to the humans' stances on mutants and what happened in Genosha. At least, that way, it would've been more of a good reason than about their business.

Jubilee being supportive and being there for him was sweet.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. Jubilee isn't really part of the main plot, though, so I don't know if we'll see her in action, nor if we'll see Roberto use more of his powers.

Genosha aftermath

More of Jean and Scott talking, so that's good. They're communicating and are still working as a team despite what happened. So, there may be hope that their relationship will survive, but we won't know for sure. So much crap has happened, and I blame Sinister for all of it.

Emma Frost survived, and she got her diamond form! She must've been stuck in all that debris for days. Also, how is she gonna react when she finds out Sebastian Shaw is dead?

Beast and the reporter. Considering how all these relationships have been going in this show so far, I was very, VERY worried about Beast. But, because of what Trish (I think that's her name) said, it ended before it even started.

Trask

Y'know when he said he didn't want to be made a monster more than what Sinister did, I thought he was talking about Genosha, but I think he was talking about him turning him into a human sentinel.

Also, yes, we're getting Prime Sentinels, which is very very bad. They ain't no joke cause Trask as one took out the X-Men one by one. Rogue was knocked out with a single hit!

Speaking of Trask, I have no sympathy for that sunuvabeech. But, it was messed up how his body was twisted.

And, all because Rogue dropped him off the building! Like, DAMN ROGUE! Again, I have no sympathy for Trask, and I get why she did it but it was still a holy crap moment. Also, everyone else could've tried to save him, but they just stood there. I think only Wolverine was cool with it.

Thank god, Cable was there to save them. Doesn't seem like he likes Scott despite him being his dad, even though he cared for his mom back in episode 5. Then again, daddy issues have been a thing in the Summers' family. But, I hope that's not the case cause animated Scott is cool.

Bastion

This whole time, Bastion was the true mastermind?! God dammit, how did I not see this coming! OZT was Operation Zero Tolerance, I should've seen this coming, but I thought it was Apocalypse or Nimrod!

This is his first animated debut, btw. And, I'm surprised he was working with Mr. Sinister cause he's a mutant, and Bastion is a human looking sentinel thing. That explains the Genosha massacre cause, of course, he'd wanna exterminate them.

Magneto's alive! But, he's held captive by Bastion. Okay, I don't know how the hell he survived or how he got captured when he was in Genosha. I hope that'll be explained. But, if he's there then where's Leech? Where are the Morlocks? Cause they were there with Magneto.

I'm really really worried for Magneto. He must've been captured for days or weeks, and I think Bastion is gonna turn him into a Prime Sentinel like Trask. That would be so so terrible if that happened. He'll become the thing he fought against. The thing he despises. God, what's taking Xavier so long?! He gotta go save him!

So, a good episode again. But next week begins the three-parter finale which I'm really nervous how it'll turn out. I hope the show will stick the landing, but I can't handle it more of my favorite characters get killed or worse.

[doublel27]

That’s so valid about Owen. “I’m gonna go annoy my kids now”

And there was something so squishy about the 3 of them being a lil family unit now 🥹

I'm sure whoever you are, dear sweet nonny, you threw this in here knowing I would likely meta on about it.

And I've been thinking about the end scenes nearly all day.

I'm notoriously interested in Owen as a character. He's a facinating character who, like his son, has had his life scarred by loss. Owen's whole raison d'etre is saving his brother. It's why saving that one little girl from drowning sent him into a life focused on saving others. Then he lost his entire firehouse in 9/11, and slowly lost other survivors of 9/11 to cancer and mental health disorders.

Then, he has to bring his son back from the dead and moves him to Texas in an attempt to save his life and restart, all while diagnosed with cancer. We lose Tim Rosewater which sets Owen into deep levels of depression and guilt, because he'll never be able to keep the promise that everyone who starts a shift goes home at the end of it.

Gwyn is in town, and they're still in love and he's working on making it work. They're gonna have a baby and Owen has a redo. He's got a chance to do it RIGHT this time. Because Owen's fatal flaw is always believing if things had been different, if he had been better, if he'd beena moment sooner: maybe he could have fixed things. He had a whole speech to that effect in last night's episode, where he figured if he'd known about 9/11 ahead of time that he could have prevented his whole team from dying.

Then the baby's not his and Gwyn leaves and whatever Owen managed to cobble together of his mental health for Gwyn and teh baby disipates and there's a lot of very classic PTSD/depressive/anxiety things that come up in Owen.

And then we lose Gwyn which is devestating to everyone but Owen soldiers on for TK, but he's...not doing well, at all. He finally gets his ass to therapy and even though we see him make some progress he's still keeping TK at a distance. Mostly because TK's doing well and Owen CANT be Captain Save a Ho for TK in these moments. He does crop up (usually) when TK's struggling, but only when there's something TO DO.

This episode marked a change.

Owen, in talking with O'Brien, who is giving a speech pretty reminicent of Owen's own speeches, about how he made a promise and he didn't keep it because look at this awful thing that happened, and Owen manages to give solid reasoning to be like "Look, he's alive and his son's alive and that's something."

And then it's like the lightbulb goes off in Owen's brain as O'Brien takes off after his great nephew - that Owen is indeed alive, and his son is also alive, and that's something. He may not have saved everyone but he saved TK.

Then, Owen goes and picks up food (which is really one of Carlos and TK's main love langauges, is feeding people - TK does it with takeout because he shouldn't be in the kitchen) and brings it over. But he doesn't just pick up any take out, he picks up the chinese food that TK introduced Gwyn to that they used to eat as a family.

I take this to be significant in multiple ways:

One, the Gwyneth Morgan of it all. Owen picked something that was a family thing and brought it over. Which is a very significant thing to do.

Two, it's one of the few times that food is involved and Owen doesn't mention the healthy/unhealthy nature of the food. Look, I could probably write a whole disertation on why Owen Strand, who has survived 21 1/2 years post 9/11 is obsessed with his health, but nearly every interaction with food, Owen has a coment about it. He doesn't make a single comment about this round of chinese food. I lied, he doesn't mention it in 3.08 either. But that's in the wake of grief, and maybe here Owen's still living in it.

Three, ordering chinese is very clearly TK's comfort meal. Look, a lot of us who are neurospicy joke about TK being neurospicy. And when you are neurospicy, there are certain foods that are..."safe" or an instant "yes" all the time. And we default to them often. I know when I'm struggling when I'm like "It's a comfort food day." (I have a rotation) but it eliminates decision fatigue and the need to emotionally regulate if it's not exactly what you wanted. Chinese food has a connection to Gwyn, and comfort and it comes up a lot when TK's stressed. (Even in 3.03, when Carlos doesn't come home, TK ordered chinese for them)

And then Owen does something he hasn't done...at all...since TK moved out (maybe they did when they moved into Owen's house and I don't know where they had chinese in 3.08) but Owen shows up at their place to share a meal with them.

And it's significant because TK and Carlos have invited him over for many meals between seasons 2 and 3, and Owen never accepts. Or, in the case of 2.11, Owen accepts and then goes off to catch an arsonist instead, which could be his hero complex but could also be a general avoidance of things that are uncomfortable for Owen, like TK growing up and not needing Owen anymore.

For as much as Owen has been an absent father for various parts of TK's life, because of his PTSD and trauma and general *waves hands* Owenness, Owen is a loving dad who would do just about anything for his son. We know this, we've watched him do it. But Carlos is also a competent control freak who Owen trusts implicitly with TK's life on numerous occasions. I do believe there's a big part of Owen's psyche that doesn't know what to do if he's not NEEDED.

But at the end of 4.06, he shows up, with chinese food, which is not needed because TK and Carlos already made a beautiful dinner and are looking very handsome, but he comes in and tells TK that he's proud of him, again. And you know, not trying to blow people up is a very low bar, but you know, TK clears it. And then they stay and have dinner, and Owen inserts himself in his son's life, not because TK needs him, but because Owen WANTS to be there, and that's such a drastic change for these two.

I love that Carlos and TK bring him in. Look, we could punish Owen for his mistakes and transgressions, but that's never been who TK is and this is his last living biological parent (Enzo forever) and TK loves him. And Carlos loves TK and respects Owen and wants them to have a good relationship.

And I cannot wait for Owen to "do what he does best" (owen's words) and be a pain in their asses about this wedding.

[variousqueerthings]

Should I watch spartacus? I've tried a few times but always lapse after a few eps bc the characters didn't really connect for me

listen, I don't usually rec spartacus to people, because it's - quite frankly - not for everyone. the language is crass, there's a ton of toxic masculinity, a whole bunch of graphic violence of (most) kinds, and it's got this super stylised environment building to it that can be hard for people to get used to

that being said I've seen it three times now and it makes me very emotional each time. so, if you're thinking of giving it another whirl, here's what I will say:

it definitely does take a little bit to get into the characters beyond the hur-dur big muscle men who all hate each other and make comments about who has the biggest dick (and like, this never totally goes away, but it's filtered through a different lens as the story goes along and the characters do start caring for one another) and here's more tits and undulating oiled women (I must stress though that everyone is oiled up and naked in this show, it's equality), but once you get into the meat of the story, I'd say rouuughly halfway-ish through s1, they really really start growing on you, like fungus. fungi -- especially crixus and agron (whom you may not have reached depending on where you stopped), I'd say for me especially crixus, who is always annoying to me for a fair bit in s1 and then you realise what sort of a character he is and where his arc is going and you're like ohhh ok. ok ok, got it, and there's a scene in the... second last episode of s1 I think where he is sobbing and unable to hold the woman he loves (naevia) as she's dragged away from him and they swear to see one another again... well, let's just say it made me feel things

the political drama of the show is *chefs kiss* it just builds and builds and builds across the whole show, with the second season being a prequel that adds context (it was made out of necessity -- the main actor was very sick, but it also adds to the story, both in terms of backstory and a new important character)

speaking of story -- some of my favourite pacing of all time! it sets up some premises and it continuously moves towards fulfilling those narrative arcs, it is a Very Satisfying Show Pacing-wise

some gay people in this show do die, because a lot of people on this show die (some very sad stuff happens to... well, everyone), but also this is a "the main gays are immortal" show, in which a beautiful m/m couple just fuckn. Cannot Die (they survive some stuff lemme tell you) and it was the first show I really saw that sentiment in

there are some very cool women in this show -- I think there should have been even more and it definitely is male-skewed, but the women on this show have their own really neat arcs and skill-sets, and it manages to not do the misstep of "the only women worth anything are the ones who aren't traditionally feminine/can fight and the rest are lesser," (with characters like diona, sybil, seppia and many minor characters mattering to the plot) while also giving us some gorgeous fighty-anger ladies (naevia, saxa), pragmatic leadership women (mira, laeta, gaia), a whole bunch who fit into difficult-to-categorise spaces (kore, aurelia, melitta) and ofc evil and scheme-y (lucretia, ilythia). I think for the most part the show is also very good at navigating ideas around power and womanhood, with characters like lucretia being both oppressor (owns slaves, can order crixus to have sex with her, is callus towards their humanity), while also at times suffering from lack of power, because she is only as worthwhile as who she is married to (same goes for ilythia and other roman women, and there's an interesting arc in s4 about how easily citizenship/personhood can be entirely stripped from you)

there's a very beautiful ethos beneath it all -- yes beneath all the hyper-violence and graphic sex and horrible dehumanisation (this is a show in which many of the main characters are slaves after all) it's got a strong core about protecting those who cannot protect themselves and it mourns the deaths of innocents (pietros, diona, aurelia, kore, etc)/isn't just about the Fighter Types, it's about fighting to overthrow systems even when it seems hopeless in order to build a better future, about loyalty, about community, about building cross-cultural bridges, about beautiful oiled up peo- wait hold on...

I think -- vs some other shows that I could mention - GoT - that's what's so strong about it. it has an arc, it has a point to it, and it like. wants to give its characters purpose, narratively

there's a couple of missteps, and I think part of that is the time the show was written in, but considering it's 2010 + its main actor died after s1 unfortunately it's miles ahead of many of its peers and most shows that came out in the 2010s that I'd argue tried to catch some of its rizz. flair. pizzazz

I think the right state of mind to go into it with is:

obvs ask yourself first if the sheer amount of sex and violence onscreen is a dealbreaker. you can also ask me what kind of violence if you want to prepare, because for me it was the not-knowing that was stressful the first time around, the next times I could step away during a few scenes that were too much for me, but on the whole was okay

we good on sex and violence? ok then, next step is: the language is gonna be super idiosyncratic. a mix of giving old (?) grammar (the word "the" no longer exists for the most part), kiwi accents (this was filmed in aotearoa/new zealand), names you're not used to hearing, and swearing in every sentence. let that seep into your bones, it becomes very fun after awhile (or it did for me)

give yourself a little shake and then go: "this is a Very Cool Show. not as a negative, it genuinely is Very Cool. other shows wish they were this Cool. it'll take half a second to immerse myself in just how Cool everything is, but once I'm used to it, it'll be awe-striking music, amazing stunt/fight-work in nearly every episode, beautiful -- and I mean beautiful -- character relationship arcs, and a vibe that's giving Mythological the whole way through," my friend it is unreal how Cool this show is, the pay-offs for its various setups make me punch the air when I get to them, every time, and by the final season you're screaming for the Roman Empire to fall beneath the heels of these beautiful oily people, while a majestic choir soars in the background

believe that the final episode of this show is gonna be so worth it -- not because it was a slog to get there, but because we're all so used to being let down in the final hour, but the ending of spartacus? chef's kiss. made me cry the last two times, which is why I'm putting it off this time.

in conclusion: this is not a show for everyone. it's definitely giving sexy boobs angry men at times. it is also a show with a quite similar set of ideas to things like black sails and sense8, which is what is so good about it. it's about how people matter and deserve humanity and it's very cathartic for me in this current day and age to watch these characters navigate the ideas of what a "revolution" looks like. it's a tragedy though, although there's joy along the way, and this is one of those stories where it was worth the trying no matter the cost

it's like. a good story. so many sexy bosom shots though (I mean, this may be the opposite of a deal-breaker now I write it out). but you've gotta gaze through the bosoms to see the plot. or something. yeah that makes sense

I've got a more detailed draft post of all my pros and cons of the show that I'll put out as well -- that was is full of spoilers that may be somewhat incomprehensible if one hasn't watched the show, but hey. it's out there