#i may just be off my meds but i kept crying while working on this. (dw i just got off track im alright now)

[outletcrash]

hello starlight...

[rosemaryreaper]

The self-indulgent chronic pain subplot

Ros may get the brunt of my idiosyncrasies, but poor Ellie wins the whump lottery for this particular brand of projected suffering. Sorry, girl.

Minor emetophobia warning.

* * * *

Ellie spent the whole morning throwing up. Or “throwing up” was a generous term for it, considering it implied there was something to bring “up” in the first place. More accurately, she spent the whole morning dry heaving over the toilet while Ros held her hair back, uselessly.

Ros wasn’t a “holding hair back” kind of person. She was more of a “run away before the first heave” kind of person, and she, personally, had spent this whole ordeal of a morning feeling more than a little nauseous. By now, though, that nausea had less to do with the constant retching, which had become background noise by this point, and more to do with pure, pulse-racing anxiety. Suffice to say, Ros was unsettled.

Ellie rested her forehead on the edge of the toilet seat with a groan. This couldn’t have been sanitary, but neither was vomit, so what did Ros know. In the last hour or so, Ellie had been unable to even lie down on the bathroom floor. She had alternated between hunching over her knees, like she was now, and curling up against the wall, like she had been before this latest bout. She gently rocked her body, taking deep, shaky breaths.

Ros took the opportunity to fix Ellie’s ponytail, which had slipped out of place. Ponytails were the extent of Ros’s hairstyle expertise, who hadn’t worn her hair long since she had been thirteen, and she had done a messy job with her first unpracticed attempt. In her defense, she had never had to do someone’s hair in this kind of situation.

Voice raw, Ellie said, “I think I want to die.”

If Ros had been anxious before, this statement hit her with a straight shot of panic. “Do you want to try the pills again?” she asked, failing to restrain the waver in her words.

Ellie shook her head, her refusal presenting as a whine in the back of her throat. She had already tried twice. Nothing stayed down. Not water, not anti-nausea tonic—and not her pain meds. None of the usual tricks helped either. She had shoved away the hot water bottle when the heat had made her feel sicker.

Ros replaced the wet washcloth on the back of her neck. Trembling, Ellie pressed down on it, holding it firmly against her skin.

Nick appeared in the bathroom door. He had spent this whole ordeal of a morning pacing the office, only occasionally poking his head in to check that Ellie hadn’t coughed up any blood or vital organs. Otherwise, he had kept out of the way. The fact that he had for so long and without comment told Ros this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

“That’s it,” Nick said. “That’s it. I’m getting the doc.”

Ellie croaked, “Don’t.”

“Not up for debate. I’m gonna drag him over here whether he wants to come or not. Hell, I’ll lock him in the building until he gives you something that actually works.”

“He won’t,” Ellie said, the word breaking on a sob. “Nothing does. This is my normal. This is always my normal.”

Nick stiffened, startled. Ros grabbed Ellie’s back in an alarmed gesture of comfort. Tears were new. Tears weren’t good. “Go,” Ros said. “Valentine, just go. Don’t argue with her. Just go.”

She didn’t have to tell him twice. Nick was already out the door.

When the heavy office door thudded shut, beneath Ros’s hands, Ellie relaxed ever so slightly. She took another deep, shaky breath and peeled her forehead off the toilet seat to wipe her mouth with an old washcloth. There were tear tracks beneath her bloodshot eyes, some fresher than others.

Ros registered her own rapid heartbeat and vaguely realized she might’ve been on the verge of a panic attack. She didn’t like this one bit. Ellie didn’t deserve to be sick or crying or any kind of miserable. A lot of folks didn’t, but she especially didn’t.

Ros had been in a quarantine zone before. Between what she’d seen there and what she saw here, she didn’t… She didn’t even want to think about it.

Abruptly, Ellie let herself fall over into Ros’s arms, her head tucked beneath Ros’s chin. Ros held her awkwardly, startled by this more than the tears, at least for a second. It had to be more comfortable than being doubled over her knees.

“Okay, this is fine,” Ros said, because it was.

“Sorry, honey,” Ellie said into her shirt. “I kinda ruined your morning, huh?”

Ros said, “I want you to feel better,” because she did. She did, she did.

“Ugh, you and me both.”

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Problems With The Heart

Greg House x Dr Anna Harding (OFC)

Story Masterlist

Chapter 5 - Ketamine Recovery

There was nothing else for her to do. Anna cleaned herself up and got back to work. Wilson was more worried about House, but while there was nothing he could do, he figured he would see if Anna needed any help.

She was in her office according to the nurses, but they told him she may have needed a minute.

‘Anna?’ He said, opening the door, ignoring the warning. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, fine.’ She croaked, he could tell she’d been crying. ‘What do you need?’ She asked and for a moment Wilson admired her more than ever.

‘The surgery is going well,’ he shut the door behind him and finally saw her puffy red eyes, not that she tried to hide it from him. ‘The ketamine he asked for might actually work. He might be able to walk again.’ She nodded, but didn’t say anything. ‘I just wanted to make sure you were okay.’

Anna paused for a moment. ‘I’m fine.’ She said, but Wilson wasn’t buying it. He sat down opposite her.

‘I heard about what he said before he slipped into unconsciousness,’ Wilson tried to be delicate. ‘Anna, he loves you. You can’t feel nothing about that.’

‘I don’t feel nothing, I feel…’ she couldn’t finish the sentence.

‘You love him.’ Wilson said, softly. ‘You heard a gunshot, two gunshots, you have PTSD, you should take the day off or at least take a break from treating patients. Anna, you should take the time to feel this.’

Much to his surprise, Anna began crying heavily. Wilson took a breath and stood up to place his hand on her shoulder. He stayed with her for a while and took some time to help communicate with her team on some of the patients.

House eventually woke up, the surgery was a success and he got eight weeks off to recover. His leg seemed to be better as well. Anna on the other hand didn’t mention anything about his recovery. She was exactly the same as she was before. Calculated, but humorous.

Cameron was worried and had gone to Wilson about it.

‘Anna is responsible,’ Wilson stopped her. ‘If there was a real problem she would have taken herself off cases by now, but she hasn’t. She is still capable of doing her job and she’s an incredibly private person, it’s probably the Britishness.’

‘We don’t go to lunch anymore.’ Cameron reasoned. ‘We used to meet at least once a week, but now I don’t see her unless she’s in the clinic or bringing something to House. I’m worried that my actions-‘

‘Cameron, you need to understand that Anna could not give less of a crap about your date with House, she has moved so far past it, she’s probably forgotten.’ Wilson continued working. ‘Just do your job.’

Cameron eventually left, but Wilson didn’t want to admit he was worried as well.

House kept up with his physio, he felt no pain in his leg and for the first time in a long time, he felt good. Anna came around after every shift, she told him about some of the patients, went walking with him when he needed to get out, she made him laugh a little and was on hand to check his injuries. House was happy and decided the Friday night she came over was a good time to ask her to stay for the weekend.

Anna let herself in, he’d heard her from the kitchen, he also heard her sigh and throw her jacket down on the back of the sofa.

‘You okay?’ He called.

‘Tough day,’ she said walking to towards him. ‘I lost two patients, they were getting better and then they both had heart attacks.’ He slowly made his way to the coffee machine, turning it on. ‘It’s fine. How’s your day been?’

‘What meds were they on?’ He asked, curiously.

‘I really don’t want to talk about it.’ She said, leaning on the island.

House conceded and smiled.

‘What?’

‘Sit down. We don’t have to go for a walk tonight.’ He said, finishing making her a coffee. Anna was looking at him suspiciously.

‘You should get out, get your leg moving, why are you being so nice?’ Anna frowned as House rounded the island to handed her the mug she always drank from.

‘I can’t be nice?’ He shrugged watching her blue eyes scan him.

Anna scowled playfully, sipping her coffee. ‘Okay, you want to tell me what the deal is while I check you?’

He nodded and went the sofa to lay back. Anna was still suspicious, but did her usual checks of his stitches.

‘I like you.’ He said, feeling her warm fingers against his skin, soothing him.

‘I get that impression, yes.’ She replied, sarcastically.

‘Why don’t you stay here for the weekend?’ House decided if he didn’t blurt it out, or catch himself off guard, he’d never say it. ‘Someone’s gotta make sure I’m sticking to my physio.’

‘I can do that by visiting. Sit up, let me check your neck.’

House did as she asked. ‘You could do it more easily if you were here. Doesn’t make sense to go home and come back all the time.’

‘Why do you want me to stay?’

House paused, not anticipating her reaction.

‘Look, you got shot, it’s a reasonable assumption to think you might be on a temporary high from almost dying.’

‘I asked you before I got shot.’

‘You also said you wanted more.’

‘Exactly.’

She stopped checking his neck and sighed. ‘Look, if you can give me one good reason why you want me to stay, that doesn’t involve anything to do with you being shot, then I’ll consider it.’

House took a moment to think. ‘I want you here because I want to be with you… I want this to be more than just some fun once in a while, maybe that could be fun.’

Anna watched him, her eyes started watering. ‘You know if I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop and you’ll rip your stitches.’ She made him laugh a little.

‘Yeah, I was planning on having you against a wall, I can do that now my leg doesn’t hurt.’ He made her laugh which felt more important. ‘I can do a lot of things now my leg doesn’t hurt. I can go running with you, or rock climbing, you said you liked doing that as a kid, maybe we could go again. It’d be a better quality of life for both of us.’

Anna smiled and wiped away the tears that were falling. ‘Well, that does sound good.’

House could tell it still wasn’t a yes. ‘Just stay for the weekend. Just one weekend.’

She looked up at him and smiled. ‘I wish I could say yes,’ he felt his heart dropping. ‘But you don’t want me here making things difficult for you.’

‘You won’t-‘

‘It was me you were talking to when you thought you were dying.’ She interrupted him. ‘You thought it was Wilson, you said I should go to a sleep clinic. I know why you said those things, it’s because I sleep better when I’m in bed with you. But it’s only ever a night.’ House didn’t understand. ‘You know why I only spend one night at a time here, because the next night is always worse. One good nights sleep, one very bad nights insomnia. Maybe the sleep clinic isn’t such a bad idea.’ Anna stood up and grabbed her jacket. ‘Don’t forget to keep moving, your leg needs to work itself better.’

Anna left his home and House wanted to redo the whole thing, he wanted to keep his mouth shut and to have not said a word about staying. But it was too late.

House thought he wouldn’t see her at all over the whole weekend, but she turned up to take him for a walk in the evening. It wasn’t as fun as it had been before, but at least she was talking to him. She walked him back to his home, but didn’t come in.

‘Anna, come on, just come in for a while.’ House said as she was about to walk away. ‘I’ve got beer… you want something stronger?’

She half laughed and eventually followed him inside. The second she was through the door, House looked down at her and gave her the smile he would give when he wanted to kiss her.

‘Greg.’ She laughed and put her hand on his chest, stopping him. ‘I should go.’

‘Stay, just for a little longer.’ He placed his hand on top of hers and leaned down slowly. She called him Greg, she wasn’t going to resist and he liked kissing her. Her lips were soft, cool, but soft and he didn’t want to stop. ‘Stay.’ He said between kisses. ‘Tonight.’ He whispered, his other hand wrapping around her waist. ‘Just stay.’

Anna didn’t reply, she just kissed him back and hummed to let him know she was enjoying what he was doing. Her skin was warm under her shirt, she gasped when his cooler hand touched her waist, it made him smile as he pinned her gently against the door. Her laugh against his mouth was all he wanted to hear.

House moved down her jaw, her neck was one of his favourite places to kiss, she always made small whimpers right next to his ear.

‘Greg, stop.’ She said, but not quite meaning it. House still slowed down, if she had something to say then he wanted to hear it. He placed softer kisses against her jaw. ‘You’ll rip your stitches and I might not care.’

He chuckled, eventually pulling back, placing one last kiss to her soft mouth. He was glad to hear her breath was shallow, her heart rate was up and her blue eyes were darker than he’d ever seen them.

‘Maybe I don’t care either.’ He whispered.

‘No but I’m not picking up the dry cleaning when you bleed all over the bed.’

‘Could do it right her?’ He suggested, letting his hand drifting down to her hips, her legs. ‘Then it’s only the floor that needs to be cleaned.’

‘As tempting as it is,’ she said, placing her hands over his, stopping him gently. ‘You’ll still rip your stitches and I don’t have the patience to rush you to hospital.’

House conceded and smiled, pulling back a little. ‘Fine.’ He said, placing one last kiss to her lips. ‘You want a beer instead?’

Anna sighed, her hands running up his chest. ‘Sure.’

He was glad that it was like old times, they laughed and played the piano, she suggested they go back to the track at some point and House was happy.

He left it a couple of weeks before he tried to suggest her staying over again, it was a Friday night and he genuinely just wanted her to stay the night with him.

‘No strings, I just want you to stay with me, that’s it.’ He said after they’d had a few glasses of whiskey and she had a weekend to herself. Anna leaned on the back of the sofa and sighed at him.

‘Okay, fine, I’ll stay.’ She finally gave in and House just smiled liking the fact that he finally won. ‘But I’m not having sex with you.’

‘Oh, you always have to ruin the fun.’ He teased, making her laugh.

They stayed up for a little longer before finally heading to bed, he gave her one of the T-shirt’s she liked wearing when she stayed over and Anna was out like a light. House wrapped his arms around her and was glad for when the morning came and she was still sleeping. He went out for a run before coming back to find her still sleeping. He wanted to prove that this was a good thing and made her breakfast for when she got up.

House managed to keep her around until the later afternoon when she insisted on heading home.

‘Right, I won’t be here tomorrow or for the next few days, a couple of nurses are off so I’m covering some shifts.’ She said, putting her jacket on. ‘Can I trust you to call if you need anything?’

‘Course.’ He nodded. ‘I’ll see you around.’

Anna didn’t say anything, she just nodded and left.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!  

[itztlislost]

i quit my retail job

hey y'all, it has been months since I've been active. the last time i reposted something, tumblr immediately terminated my account. I was able to get it back after emailing customer service, which they apologized that it even happen because they don't even know why it happened. weird, but whatever.

anyways, I was inactive because my mental health was my priority. I cut of friends, stopped doing the things I liked and much more just to maintain a baseline of 'ok', which wasn't great considering my only interaction was people at my job of a cashier at a grocery store.

I ended up quitting when the workplace took a turn for the worst, both coworkers and management becoming toxic and I only had one work friend who kept their head on straight. I'm not going to say we never did anything wrong and that it was everyone else being assholes, that isnt true and I don't believe it was anyone but managements fault.

I'm not really sure what caused for this shift to happen, I was too focused on my own problems at the time before i eventually noticed. basically, everyone was in a bad mood, constantly. we all had problems with everyone and each other, we all wanted things and refused to compromise without complaints. The holiday season ended, hours were cut along with all this and management decided to play favorites. white employees got to keep their hours while the rest of us didn't even get the bare minimum of 20 hours, even if we were apart of the union. I know the managers have favorites, we all do, but they suddenly didn't care about being fair.

I was already fighting a losing battle with hr, all the while I was working 10 hour shifts three days into being of my 300ml Effexor and suffering the worst of my withdrawals at the customer service desk. I finally had a breakdown and meltdown, so bad I woke the next morning unable to speak or open my eyes because of the hours long of me screaming and sobbing the night before. do to how bad I was suffering, I called out sick and included all this information which i did not have to and shouldnt have. I genuinely care about my co workers and managers, I didnt want them to think I was faking being sick and I wanted them to know I had stuck it out for as long as I could all things considered. Instead of understanding, I got a huff in reply a dry 'are you sure? fine, ok'.

after that call I proceeded to spend the rest of the day and my days off screaming and crying while I waited for my doctor to fix whatever mistake set this off. that being said, it made me realize how little my work place cared. I built so many friendships with everyone at work that I tricked myself into thinking that this location and management could be any different than corporate or any other chain. Next day, I put in my two weeks and went to stay with my fiance while I got back on my meds.

I'm doing better now and figuring out a better path since I refuse to go back to working retail. the customers were actually the best part of the job imo, good and bad interactions alike. so yeah this was mainly a vent and also just a reminder to myself every time I come back here to remember how horrible that experience was. but hey, let it be a cautionary tale too i guess. Take your meds, call and make sure they get refilled a week or two before you're out bc trust me you may think they'll refill it fast but don't risk it. also retail sucks major doo doo, quit on the spot once you see any red flags. you're disposable to them, make them disposable to you.

[iguessjustcallmesunflower]

I'm a Chainsaw Unaliver, But it's Okay. You're Safe

Losing Sunshine was hard, don’t get me wrong. I was absolutely crushed when I was told of his passing. It took me awhile to bounce back from it. Not long after, I was blocked by a close friend, and that one was tough to swallow, too. Bit by bit, I came back to life, though. It didn’t happen overnight. I had to swallow down my grief and focus on the other residents who may have needed me more. For a while I was on the ‘lockdown’ units. I wasn’t able to control my sadness as well as I can now, and I was a liability. That doesn’t mean there weren’t any outbursts.  

I’m a Chainsaw Murderer, but it’s Okay. You’re Safe.  

The Chainsaw Murderer is one of my personal favorite psych residents. We’ll say Conner. He’s been on the men’s unit for as long as I’ve worked there. At his own request. He is one of the few reasons I adore working on the men’s hall. If he is cycling, if his meds are readjusting themselves to his system (when he takes them), he’s a riot. He’s a riot in general.  

When we had two residents who were always, and I do mean always, at each other’s throats, they’d get into physical fights. A fifty-something-year-old-man would pick fights with a temperamental eighteen-year-old, and when staff finally broke them apart, the older man who play the victim and cry that he didn’t do anything. More than once, the staff was in the crossfire. Conner was one of the residents we could count on to defend staff if needed. Dayshift is always more than staffed; if a fight were to break out, they had nothing to worry about, there would always be another staff member to have their back. Nightshift is kind of screwed. Two aids for the outside four halls, (most are independent and can do for themselves) and one on each of the units. We got the short end of the stick. We just couldn’t get anyone to stay on once hired.  

One night, fifty and eighteen broke out in a fight. Conner took fifty and shoved him down the hall, while I kept eighteen in the dining room. We got them separated, but in the time it took Conner to get to the dining room, I took a shove into a table from fifty. My ribs were still healing from the damage my ex-husband had inflicted, and I think eighteen realized that by a yelp I didn’t quite hide as well as I thought I did. His focus was immediately off his aggressor, off offense and on defense. He channeled his anger away and made sure I was okay and kept me calm while Conner kept fifty down the hall and called to other residents for help. A few came into the dining room; the rest went down to help Conner. The rest of the staff came back onto the hall after fifty had gone to his room, still shouting that he was innocent and the “staff bitch” shouldn’t have gotten in his way, I deserved what I got. For over ten minutes after the fight, Conner, eighteen, Chuckles, Tiny, and Happy Feet stood guard until the other staff finally came back to the hall to see what was going on.  

Conner is a special one, in the sense that he can make you laugh and raise an eyebrow while shaking your head. I’m not talking a polite laugh, I’m talking a belly laugh, one from your soul. One night, he sat across the table from me and asked if I wanted to smoke with him. Their smoke break had long since passed, and before I could tell him, he pulled a fake joint out of his pocket and we passed it back and forth. He’d cough, and make comments like “That’s some primo shit, right?” And I couldn’t do anything but stifle my laugh and agree.  

Conner didn’t just stop there though. He offered me an eightball once. I declined, obviously, and told him they drug test. He turned white as a ghost and whispered, “Residents too?” After reassuring him it was just staff, he was alright and back to normal. But man, those few seconds he was terrified. Of course, we’re a drug-free facility, but man, his imaginary joints hit the spot.  

My most favorite, and probably fondest memory of Conner is when he came out of his room one morning. My relief was an hour and a half late already, I was crabby, borderline pissed. Class the day prior, no nap, and coming in straight to work? I was a bitch. It had been a long night dealing with another resident who had tried his hardest to get sent out (he was instead gifted a 10:2 injection), I was nothing short of exhausted.  

The men’s unit has stray cats they fed that would wait outside. I think they even knew their smoke break times. No big, it was almost their next smoke break, not unusual to see them waiting. Conner comes out of his room, humming the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, sees two of the three cats outside the door, and immediately yells, “Guys! The cats are fucking!” And watches them while continuing to hum. It was exactly the laugh I needed. I belly laughed until I was snorting, then laughing harder because I had snorted, and couldn’t breathe. My face was red, I was struggling, and the dang chair almost tipped over because of how fast I had to put my head between my knees so I didn’t hyperventilate.  

The men’s unit has its challenges, but I don’t think anything can compare to Conner. He himself wasn’t a challenge; it was just a challenge to not laugh when he was around. He is absolutely the comedic relief on that hall. There was another instance when he was in the dining room. It was around one in the morning. I hear a revving noise, mimicking the sound of a chainsaw. While he’s never been a danger to himself, I still went to check it out. It was Conner, wielding an imaginary chainsaw, complete with sound effects. The conversation went something to the effect of:  

“You okay?”  

“Yup.”  

“Whatcha doin’?”  

“I’m a chainsaw murderer. Don’t worry, you’re safe.”  

Conner represented the best of that hall. He really did. It didn’t matter to him that he was a lifer. He felt safer back here. The staff made him feel safe back there, and in a literal way, that’s all anyone in that building wanted and needed. At one point or another, everyone just wants to feel safe.  

If more of the residents were like Conner, and less about starting drama, I’d have stayed. I really would have. Even after graduating and getting hired somewhere else, I would have stayed to work a few days every month. I would have. I would never have left without knowing how my lifers were doing. Even right now, sitting on a COVID hall, writing this, I’m watching one of my lifers I hold near and dear to my heart to make sure he’s alright. I tear myself up every single time I think of leaving them, because it will absolutely annihilate me when they pass and I’m not here.  

But you have to do what’s best for you. Even if that means sacrificing your worries and concerns for another person. I’ll always be welcome back at the facility. My boss has made that clear. However... I don’t see myself returning unless I’m dispatched out there. My residents will always be safe and warm. They’ll have full bellies. And that’s honestly all I can ask for. They’re the throwaways, the misfits, the unwanted, the strays, and yet they’re all, every single one of them, my loves. They’re so sweet in their own, backwards ways. They forever have my heart.  

[gonocontact]

Take Four: Austin, Texas

We keep talking, hours upon hours upon hours. Video, text, phone call. Rinse. Repeat. I was beginning to fall behind on my schoolwork. So, one day I decided to let them know that I really needed to do some catching up and that I was going to be offline for hours. They seemed ok with it and encouraged me to take care of business. NOPE.

I would say that I was all of about fifteen minutes into my work, and then, they proceeded to blow up my phone. "What. The. Fuck." Call after call. After about the fifteenth call, I answered, highly irate. They were having a breakdown. Yeah, "breakdown." 🚩They went on and on about gawd-only-knows-what and none of the stuff that was spewing out of their mouth made any sense. Ok....You NEED me. What do you need me for? There wasn't ever any real straight answer. This, I hate to say, became a normal pattern. When I did something for ME or things were going good for ME, Dipshit would conveniently have a breakdown. It was almost like a toddler throwing a fit. Dipshit would suddenly break, get depressed, not answer the phone, or call obnoxiously, couldn't get out of bed for a week, forgot to take their meds, ugly cry, "not remember" things, the whole nine. Now that I look back, I should have left back then. You know what, they have strategies though, just think like an attention hungry child. They did it to cause chaos and throw me off balance.

Jeez, I'm getting anxiety at this memory.

Regardless of the fits (it's so stupid to say now), I kept in communication with them. I felt like this poor person was so abused and just needed to know love, love that I could provide. I could love this person back to health (even though now, I would highly discourage). DUMB ASS!

There were two shows that I wanted to see in Austin, Texas that November. These were two concerts that I had to make and I am always willing to travel. I asked if they would want to meet in Austin, see a couple shows, reconnect, see how it goes. It all sounded good. Sounded like a plan. Then the day of travel came. Their text indicated that they couldn't make it to Austin. "What?! Why?!" They said they were sick and scared. Scared?

After a bit of digging, they finally admitted that they were in love with me, that maybe they have always loved me...and it scared them. Stupid, stupid me believed it. Stupid stupid me returned the gesture. I think back about it now and remember feeling like I had to. No excuse. I also explained that we could throw that out the window if it didn't pan out in Austin. They agreed to come. In a matter of hours, I would find out why they were trying to back out.

I arrived in Austin, got my bag, and immediately wondered if I had made a mistake. I wondered if they were coming at all. I had some time to kill, so I took my time meandering over to different spots throughout the airport. Too nervous to eat or drink anything. Finally after a few stops within the airport, I finally made my way outside. They probably weren't even coming. I had accepted that this may be a possibility. What was I doing? Who would bank on such a ridiculous "reconnect" trip.

I was sitting on a concrete bench, cross-legged with my luggage. They had walked up behind me and to my left. They muttered out the nickname they had already given me. That nickname they gave me at that point (yes, from Avengers). I got up immediately and hugged them. They looked sick as all hell. We caught a cab and rode quite a while to the hotel where we had booked a room to stay for the duration. It was quite a long ride. During this time I remember realizing that something was wrong but I had tried to hide it by burying myself in their embrace. 🚩

I remember the hiccups, the burps, the sweating, and towards the end of the ride, the wretching as though they were going to puke. I asked what was wrong and they kept brushing me off.🚩 Ride ends. They pay. Checking. Load onto elevator. Enter room.

After some time of bodily functions and wondering what the fuck, they insist that we go down to the hotel bar. Ok. We got downstairs, sit at the bar, and they quickly order a drink. Gentleman Jack and Coke. The bartender couldn't make that drink quick enough, serves it, they immediately order another as they suck down this rocks glass. Second one is served. Sucks that down. Orders a third. I began to realize that their "sickness" is alcoholism, bad.🚩 There was a sense of relief as their nervous system begins to settle. They become more coherent and less sweaty, shaky.....less of a mess.

The rest of that day was kind of a blur, to say the least. All I know is that we missed the Acid King show that night because they were passed out in the room. I wasn't happy about that. Finally, I went to bed.

At some point during the night, I remember waking up to more sickness. I tried to help, showed concern but was met with a wall. Went back to sleep.

When I woke the next morning, they were gone. 🚩In a way, it was a relief. I tried to contact them to see what happened. Nothing. I continued with my day, a little worried. I made it a point to go to the second show that I had bought tickets to, there in Austin. I got ready, ordered and Uber, arrived at the place, scoped it out, got a drink, ordered some food, and sort of enjoyed the solitude. I was thankful I attended, even alone. The band had recognized me and greeted me so kindly. I enjoyed the set and bought a shirt. When it was over, I caught an Uber back to the hotel.

Once there, I began to wonder what happened to them. Were they OK? I called and text again. No answer. Again. No answer. At this point I began to get worried. Again. Nothing. By late evening I was leaving voice-mail, texts, video messages, wondering, pleading with them to let me know they were OK. I finally went to sleep.

By the next morning I still hadn't heard anything and at that point I was a little frantic and feeling guilty. I began to call every jail and every hospital in Austin. Only to turn up with nothing. I had this feeling in my gut. I began to call nearby detox centers. Then, they finally returned my call. We spoke for a few minutes and they apologized for everything. They ended the call abruptly before I could get any information. I made contact again, we exchanged affections for each other.

Next thing you know, I was packed up early and in an Uber to spend my last few hours in Austin with them.....laying in a hospital bed next to them.

I should have let that be the end, but sadly, it wasnt....

[deadmemefrom2012]

April 30th, 2020

Memories that stand out in my mind:

As an elementary school kid, walking the halls after school because my mom was a teacher. Feeling acid rise in my throat outside the bathroom near the principal’s office. Going to my mom and asking her if throwing up in my mouth every once in a while was normal. She gives a distracted yes because I don’t tell her how often it happens.

Being about 9 or 10 in the doctor’s office, finally getting a name for what I’m experiencing: Acid Reflux. I’m so excited to have some bit of information that I tell my friends as soon as I see them next. They seem disinterested and I can’t understand why. A weight is off my shoulders and I feel hopeful that the pain will stop.

I’m thirteen years old in my career and college readiness class. I ask the teacher if I can go get some water. She tells me no, there’s only a few minutes until the bell. With tears in my eyes, I plead with her, but she is set in her decision. After three excruciating minutes, the bell rings and I run to the water fountain to gargle water over and over. Finally, the taste of bile leaves the back of my mouth and the burning sensation starts to recede. The tears of pain that had been building release at last as tears of relief.

I’m still thirteen. I’m laying on the doctor’s examination table as he feels my stomach with cold gloved hands. He thinks the cause may be an ulcer, so he attempts to book me for an endoscopy. All of the specialists nearby have transferred, so for the long months of waiting, I take gigantic pills in an effort to stop the pain. They don’t work, but I keep taking them. Eventually, we drive the four or so hours to Memphis. My mom is with me when I go under for the first time. When I awake, they tell me they saw nothing outwardly abnormal except scar tissue in my throat. We wait and wait just to receive lab reports with no answers.

We see another specialist, who hypothesizes it’s a bacterial infection in my stomach. I have another pill to take and a humiliating stool sample to give, before more waiting for test results with no answers.

At fourteen, my doctor prescribes me anxiety medication. It does wonders for my mental health, but absolutely nothing to the near constant pain. Another cause ruled out and I’ve nearly lost hope.

It’s ninth grade, I’m fourteen years old and walking down the upstairs hallway of the fine arts building with my broadcasting friends. Acid suddenly floods my throat and nasal cavity and I cry out in pain. At the water fountain I gargle over and over, before breathing the water in and blowing it out to maybe stop the burning that’s spread from my nose all the way down to my lungs. My friends stand around me, startled and asking frantically if I’m ok.

Tenth grade, I receive a new medication. It still doesn’t work, and my new doctor doesn’t have any new answers.

The summer after eleventh grade, I’m excitedly waiting to go with my best friend and his family on a trip to see our favorite musician in concert. As we wait to get in the car, my stomach begins to hurt and I feel overheated and nauseous. This is the worst of the symptoms, worse than even breathing in the stomach acid. I can’t move, and my best friend holds me as I try not to cry. Eventually it passes, but the humiliation and helpless feeling stays with me.

Finally, I meet a doctor with new ideas at the beginning of the year. The specialist at the children's hospital tests me for gluten intolerance and lactose intolerance, but both tests come back negative. Still, she suggests that it may be a dairy sensitivity and I agree to slowly stop eating dairy over the next two months. I’m prescribed new medications and receive new hope.

In November of my senior year, on a mission trip in a room all alone in the middle of the night, the same feeling that I got in the summer comes back ten times worse. I’m not completely off dairy, but I avoided it as much as possible during the trip. I take my strongest meds kept in the bag right next to my bed. It doesn’t matter, and I can barely move enough to rest my head on a cool metal chair and call my youth director. He doesn’t pick up, and I end up calling a friend to wake him up. I feel humiliated to have anyone see me so helpless, but there’s nothing I can do. My youth director brings me some over the counter medications to go with my prescriptions and I spend another hour fighting the urge to vomit or pass out before the pain finally ebbs away.

I send off the new year and enter 2020 with one last taste of real ice cream. I regret it almost immediately and am in pain for days afterwards. I think the doctor is definitely right about the dairy sensitivity and I give up milk entirely. The pain doesn’t go away entirely, but it helps somewhat.

In February, I go to my state's Thespian Festival. For the weekend, I eat almost only salads along with the other dairy free and gluten free kids. They told us we would have options to choose from, but we didn’t, and none of us prepared to spend the weekend eating only from the hotel concessions and the meager salad bar. Eventually I can’t take it and order food for whoever nearby needs it. We spend hours talking and eating food that I checked over and over to ensure it was diary free. The pain still doesn’t go away entirely and I still have to swallow down rising bile multiple times a day. My hopelessness turns to rage because why won’t it just stop, please make it stop already, why?

It’s the end of my senior year, only two more days of school. I’m sitting here at four in the morning writing this because for the second time this week I’ve been kept awake by the burning pain in my stomach that has almost become commonplace. I know my grades are suffering, but I can’t focus from the pain and when it stops I’m too tired to focus. It’s only this, my recollections of the pain, that I’ve been able to focus on enough to ignore the current pain. It’s irony, and I feel bitter as I finish this, with tears in my eyes and unfinished assignments open in other tabs. I’m only left with one question:

Why?

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Safe

MAIN MASTERLIST

Tony Stark x Fem!Reader 

Word Count: 3,870ish

Request: Hi so this is my first time actually talking about this but I have PTSD from when I went to a party and 2 guys sexually assaulted me. I think about it a lot epically when I'm in crowds and such thinking they may be near me. I know Tony deals with PTSD but from a different situations and I was wondering how he would help his girlfriend with it? & I just really wanna feel safe when it's so hard for me to right now 

Warnings: sexual assault (not explicit), mention of rape and rape kit, PTSD

Notes: I hope that did this request justice. Please read carefully. The first “section” (divided by the ~~~) tells about the sexual assault incident. It doesn’t go too in depth. But if you don’t feel comfortable reading it, please skip that part and read the rest. (If you chose to skip that part, begin reading after the first ~~~.)

You couldn’t stop the tears from cascading down your cheeks. Even though you knew how it looked, especially as you sat in the corner of the subway car. Trying to get yourself to disappear from the world. Mascara had joined your tears cause you hadn’t thought to wear a waterproof type. Why would you? You never thought that it would happen to you. Yes, you’ve heard the stories, you’d been warned, and you even knew people who had it happen to you. But maybe you didn’t think it could ever since you became an Avenger. Ever since you’d meet Tony and he promised to protect you forever.

You went to the party knowing that you couldn’t drink, at least not very much. There was an important mission tomorrow, everyone on the team was needed. That was also the reason why you didn’t want to go to the party at first. But Tony had convinced you, saying that you needed to hang out with your old friends.

The old friends had met you in front of where the party was. Greeting you with large smiles and hugs. The first few hours were fine. But the people got drunker and the music got louder. And before you knew it you had been separated from your friends. Two guys were next to you, basically on top of you because of how crowded the space was.

They both tried to get you to go someplace else with them. You kept refusing. They kept pushing. Eventually, they didn’t care to get you into a more secluded setting. They shoved a drink down your throat, almost immediately putting you in a dazed state. One of them went behind you while the other stayed in front. They sexually assaulted you right then and there. With no one caring. One was always holding you up with a hand around your mouth, so that the other could be inside you. Then they would switch or join the other.

Slowly, they were moving you to the side of the room. You didn’t know what to do, how to react. You were in such a state of shock that all your training went out the window. Whatever they gave you wasn’t helping as well. They enjoyed you for far too long before literally tossing you in the alley outside of where you were.

There you laid, trying to get yourself to move. Eventually you did. As you got up, you noted your lack of undergarments. All you had on was your dress. Your purse was missing as well. Your whole body was shaking as you headed out of the alley to the nearest subway station.

You hadn’t even noticed the tears until you were sitting in the subway car. Getting weird looks. You didn’t care though. All you wanted to do was go home and wash this night away.

~~~

“Sir, it appears Miss L/N is back,” JARVIS informed Tony. He was up late in his lab, not being able to sleep without you safely in the Tower.

“Thanks, J,” Tony responded. “Tell her—“

“There’s something wrong.” Tony’s head snapped up. JARVIS had never spoken like that. Spoken with just concern. “I’m bringing her to you.”

Tony rushed to the elevator, already knowing not to question JARVIS. He waited anxiously for the elevator to open. And when it did, his heart completely shattered. You were hugging yourself, pushed up against the corner of the elevator. You were on the ground, your face a mess.

“Y/N!” Tony exclaimed. 

You flinched. You looked up at him, but you weren’t seeing him. Your eyes were red and glassed over, and not just because of the tears you were shedding. Tony crouched down in front of you, careful not to get into your space.

“Honey… wanna tell me what’s going on?” You shook your head, still not looking at him. “Alright, that’s okay. Can I help you up? I think you need to be checked out.”

“No!” You squeaked, pushing yourself further into the corner.

“Y/N, I’m not going to hurt you. Have I ever?”

You breathed raggedly, trying to get your brain to form coherent thoughts. “N-noo…”

“Then can I carry you out of the elevator?”

It took you a moment, but eventually you nodded. Tony let out a breath of relief before quickly getting his arms situated to pick you up. As he did, your dress moved up, revealing that you had no underwear on. Tony’s heart clenched and he had to repress a growl building in his throat. You didn’t need to tell him what happened anymore, he could easily guess. And after he was done helping you, he was going to make sure whoever did this to you paid.

You were trembling in his arms as he carried you out of the elevator and into his lab. Tony set you down on a clean work bench and watched you curl in on yourself. He turned to his monitors, taking a deep breath before he freaked out. He typed quickly on his keyboard, notifying Wanda and Natasha of the situation and to hurry on up to the lab. He then contacted the Tower’s female doctor, requesting her to the lab immediately. 

Wanda and Natasha were in the lab faster than Tony had expected. He had moved to your side, trying to figure out what to do. You were still crying and partially dazed. 

“Y/N,” Wanda called sweetly, appearing next to your head. “You’re in shock. May I help you?”

“I… I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“I won’t do anything without your permission. I just want you to feel some peace, get some rest.”

“….okay….”

“Before Wanda does anything,” Natasha cut in. She paused, briefly glancing at the other two. “We need your verbal consent to do a rape kit.”

You clenched your eyes shut as a sob tore through your whole being. Your heart was racing dangerously as you began to struggle to breath.

“Sir, it seems that Y/N is panicking,” JARVIS said.

“No, shit, J!” Tony responded. “Hey, honey, hey.” He bent down to be closer to your face. “I need you to breath or to allow Wanda to help you. It’s your choice. Nothing will be done without your consent.”

Tony gripped your hands close and ever so lovingly. You allowed yourself to look into Tony’s pleading brown eyes. You knew that he would never hurt you, he never had. Shakily, you nodded.

“Yes,” you rasped. “Help me.”

Tony pulled your hands to his lips, kissing them. “Of course, sweetheart.”

“Y/N, we need your verbal consent for the rape kit,” Natasha reminded, gently.

“Okay,” you breathed out. “You can do the rape kit.”

Wanda’s red streams of power floated around your head, putting you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. And that’s when Tony let loose. He turned around and threw the items off his desk with a shout. 

“Tony! Tony!” Natasha exclaimed, moving to stop the billionaire. She grabbed him from behind, turning him around and pulling him in for a hug.

“I failed her,” Tony cried softly. “I failed to protect her.”

“You didn’t do anything. No one could have seen this coming.”

“Excuse me,” the doctor exited the elevator. “I was called up here.”

“Yes, yes,” Tony nodded, putting his sunglasses over his eyes. “The patient, Y/N, is on the table. She’s given verbal consent for a rape kit and I would like her blood to be drawn. I want to see if she was drugged.”

“Cause there should have been more bruises and fight marks,” Natasha whispered, putting the pieces together.

She knew you. She trained with you. You were capable of taking down Steve and Bucky on your best day. How did you not fight this? Natasha and Tony both knew you would have, so there had to be something that prevented you from doing so.

“Alright, I’ll get right to work.”

~~~

When you began coming to, you noticed how badly your head was pounding. You were confused initially, at your surroundings. The white and gray walls. The twin bed and the monitors beeping. But then it all came flooding back to you. You gasped, sitting up dramatically and frantically looking around the room. The monitor beside you began beeping faster and louder.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” Tony said, rushing into the room. He sat on the edge of your bed and set his hands on your upper arms. “Breathe, honey, breathe. You’re in the med-bay, you’re safe.”

“I… they…” You stuttered as you tried to catch your breath and your racing thoughts. “I should have… I could have…”

“Whatever you’re thinking, sweetheart, I need you to stop. It was not your fault. You were drugged.”

“I-I know… they stuffed it down my throat… I… I kept saying no… But there was two of them…”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now,” Tony cupped your cheeks, brushing his calloused thumbs across your cheeks to catch the tears. “I don’t want you to get worked up when you’ve just gone through a trauma.”

“I… I… they…” You were getting worked up, which was definitely something you did not need right now.

“Sssshhhh,” Tony coed. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.”

“Good morning,” the doctor greeted, walking into the room. “How are we feeling this morning?”

“I… I don’t know how to answer that,” you responded quietly.

The doctor gave a sympathetic smile. “That’s to be expected. Are you hurting anywhere?”

You sucked in your lip and thought about it. You did hurt. Your heart, your head. Every area they touched burned, like a phantom pain. But do you tell them that? Do you freak them out and worry them more? Or do you lie?

“I… uh…” You stuttered. “It…” The doctor and Tony eyed each other, worriedly. “Um… y-yes…”

Both the doctor and Tony were surprised at how you were actually honest with them. But they weren’t going to question it.

“Okay,” the doctor jot something down on the tablet she was holding. “Do you mind sharing where exactly you’re feeling the pain?”

“I… um… no…” you said.

“That’s okay. I’ll just order you a general painkiller, hopefully that will help.”

“Is it okay if I take her to our room?” Tony wondered.

“Yes, I can check in on her there and she would be more comfortable, I’m guessing.”

“Please,” you pleaded quietly. 

You needed some place more private and where you felt safe. Tony and yours shared room had always been your safe place. Tony had even shared with you that he felt the same after you had moved in. In that room you two had shared very intimate moments. Physically, emotionally, mentally. It was a place where both of you could let your guard down and completely be yourselves.

Tony leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll go get a wheelchair, sweetheart.”

Tony quickly grabbed a wheelchair and gently placed you in the chair. He took the blanket that he had laid on you when you were on the table, and placed it on you. You curled onto the chair, pulling the blanket around you. He thanked the doctor before pushing you to the bedroom. 

Once you were there, Tony placed you onto the bed. He helped you under the covers before sitting beside you.

“What can I help you with, dear?” Tony asked softly. He took your hand, rubbing his thumb along the top of it. “Do you need anything? Food? Water?” 

“Actually… a shower…” you responded. “I need to wash all this off me.”

“Okay, okay. Let me go get it all set up and started and then I’ll help you.” 

He rushed off before you could get the courage to tell him that you didn’t want his help. Not that you didn’t appreciate it. But you couldn’t stand the thought of him, or any other man for that matter, touching your skin or see you naked. Tony was back faster than you thought he would be. He didn’t take any notice of your glossy eyes as he picked you up, took you into the bathroom, and set you on the edge of the tub.

“I’m going to help you out of your clothes, okay?” Tony was careful, making sure that he had your permission before he did anything.

“N-noo,” you squeaked. “I… sorry…”

Every time Tony thought his heart couldn’t shatter anymore, you’d do something to prove him wrong. “Okay, honey. That’s okay. I’ll just leave the door ajar and be outside if you need anything.” He placed a quick kiss on your forehead. “Right outside.”

Then he left you. You slowly removed your clothes, hating seeing the dress you used to love. And the skin you used to be so confident in and let Tony worship didn’t physical look different, but it sure felt different. 

When you stepped under the streaming, hot water, you let it pound against your back. You were unable to move for longer than you cared to admit, so stuck inside your mind. Reliving those horrific memories that were last night.

“Honey,” Tony’s voice filled the shower, with help from JARVIS, “your heart rate is escalating. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah-h,” you replied.

“Are you sure?”

No, you thought. But you weren’t about to tell him that. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

You washed your hair before you began to scrub your body. And scrub and scrub. Until your skin was red. You turned off the water before stepping out and drying yourself. Thankfully, Tony had left clothes for you. A pair of his boxers and your favorite shirt of his.

While you had been in the shower, Tony was leaning his back against the wall next to the door. Trying to keep his tears at bay. He couldn’t let you know how this was effecting him, because he couldn’t imagine how bad this was all effecting you.

When you finally came out of the bathroom, the emptiness in your eyes scared Tony the most. He wordlessly helped you into bed before getting into the bed himself. He moved over to you and tried to bring you into him, only for you to immediately tense up.

“I’m sorry,” you rasped. You clenched your eyes shut as you tried not to release any tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Tony’s arms immediately retracted. “Please don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s going to take time and I’ll be here every step of the way.”

~~~

The nightmares that occurred made you feel so bad. You woke up Tony every night. But all he would say is that you did the same for him, so he’s just returning the favor. It was the truth. Tony’s PTSD used to keep him up at night, but with you and therapy he had been gaining positive strides. So he was determined to help you do the same. He found you a therapist, which took some time for you to open up to, but you did. He didn’t touch you without your permission, and made sure everyone else did the same. 

It took you almost six months for you to get physical with Tony again. But there was no funny business about it, you two were still taking it slow. You were slowly healing, slowly feeling safe again. Though sometimes for every step forward you took, you felt like you would then take four steps back. There was one thing you hadn’t made progress with at all yet. Crowds.

Crowds had you terrified. Always checking your surroundings for the men that had harmed you. Or for any person that might think of doing the same. That had gotten you taken off missions, for the foreseeable future. You had barely left the tower since that night. Only getting fresh air from the balconies and rooftop. Tony, because of you, had even stopped hosting parties. Team movie nights even took a while to start back up. Not wanting to rush you. But you had finally began to warm up to the team as a whole again.

You had successfully avoided crowds, parties, and galas of any sorts for months. Well, until the government had decided to honor the Avengers and it became a requirement for you to show up to the celebration gala.

“I’m going to be by your side all night,” Tony promised. 

He had a hand above your knee as you two sat close together in one of the limos taking the Avengers to the gala. You two were decked out in some of your best attire, which could usually lift your mood because of how extremely handsome Tony looked. But it was failing to tonight. Your palms were sweaty, you kept having to wipe them against your dress. Your heart was trying to not race and you were trying to keep your mind from spiraling out of control.

“Hey, look at me,” Tony gently directed. You let out a shaky breath as you did. He could see the fear in your eyes, while you could see the overwhelming love in his. “Natasha and Clint have done a sweep of the building. JARVIS, Maria, and I have checked over the guest list. Everything’s going to me alright.”

“I… I don’t know—“

“We don’t have to stay long. After they hand us that bloody paperweight, we’re out, okay? I have Happy on stand-by with the limo to take us wherever you want. Plus, I won’t leave your side.”

You swallowed. “Let’s get out of this car before I change my mind.”

Tony pecked your lips. “You got it.” 

Tony exited out the door on his side, the flashing lights of the paparazzi beginning. You took another shaky, deep breath as Tony ran around to your side to open the door. He held his hand out to you, firmly taking yours once it was placed. He pulled you from the car and guided you through the crowd of people. Yes, they were all behind barriers. But they were shouting your name, shouting questions. It wasn’t a secret that you hadn’t appeared on a mission, let alone outside the Tower, in months.

Tony paused you two a few times for pictures. Always keeping you tightly to his side. He’d press a kiss somewhere on your open skin and whisper about how good you were doing and how proud he was of you. You kept taking deep breaths and tried to focus solely on Tony. He noticed each breath, responded with a gentle squeeze or a kiss.

Finally, you arrived inside. It was a large area, very grand with a stage and set tables on the other end of it. With a dance floor in the middle and a bar on the side. You would have appreciated it all more if there weren’t so many people. The further you entered, the harder time you had not checking your surroundings. The itch to do so was driving you mad. The moment you turned your head to check over your shoulder, Tony turned it to face him.

“Your breathings picking up, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I need you to match mine.”

“I—I—I can’t… we need to go home,” you stammered, letting your fears get the best of you.

“Yes, you can. We’ve been working on this, we’ll be gone within the hour.”

“I…” Your head snapped towards the sound of a booming voice, causing you to almost jump out of your skin.

“Woah there.” Tony held onto you. “It’s just Thor telling the congress people a story. You’re okay.”

“I really don’t think I can do this, Tony.”

“What do you always say when I begin to panic?”

“That’s different. You—“

“No arguing. What do you tell me?”

“I tell you that you can get through it. That I will go through it will you.”

“And?”

“I tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love you.”

“And what do I tell you?”

“That I can do it. That you’re proud of how far I’ve come and how you’re going through it with me.”

“Exactly. The fact that you got out of the limo was a huge accomplishment. And that you’re standing in this building with people all around you is an even bigger one. Honey, you have made so much progress even just tonight. That makes me so very proud of you.”

“But I still don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”

“That’s fine. Completely fine. How about we see if a dance will help? We’ll be able to see the whole room together, keep an eye out. If that doesn’t work, then we’ll leave. Who cares about this dumb award anyway?”

“One dance… I’ll try one dance.”

Tony smiled as he pulled you onto the dance floor. He held you close as he twirled you around. The both of you checked your surroundings. You knew that nothing would happen with Tony with you, your brain just didn’t want to believe it. No matter what.

“Tony,” you rasped once the next song started. Your head was spiraling and your heart was still on the verge of racing. “I… I really think I need to go.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll send a message to the team in the car,” Tony responded. “Let’s go.”

He led you out, calling Happy on the way. You let out a breath of relief at the fact he was taking you the back way so that no one would make a fuss over it. Thankfully, Happy was already ready and waiting. He opened the door for the two of you. You sent him a grateful smile, which he reciprocated. The moment Happy shut the door, you leaned heavily into Tony. You hadn’t realized how much of your energy was being used to try and keep yourself calm.

“Just relax, baby,” Tony whispered, holding you close. “Nothing’s going to happen to you in here. I’ve got you.”

“Where to Boss?” Happy asked. 

Tony looked down at you. He smirked when he realized that you had passed out. “Home, Hap. Let’s go home.”

~~~

Tony carried you into the bedroom. Before the incident, he would have been able to change you out of your clothes without permission. But now he needed to ask you, he didn’t want to push you over the edge.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, gently shaking you. You groaned. “I need you to wake up, baby. You need to get changed so that we can go to bed.”

“M’kay,” you mumbled, eyes fluttering, failing to open.

“Just wait here, I’ll grab everything.”

All you could do was nod in response. Tony rushed around, changing himself before grabbing the things he needed for you. He told you every move he was going to make before he made it, not wanting to freak you out. Once you were all ready, he pulled you into bed with him. He pressed a kiss to your head and held you close, thinking that you were already asleep.

“Thank you, Tones,” you murmured, practically moving to lay yourself on top of him, “for always keeping me safe.”

“Of course, honey, of course.”

TAGLIST INFORMATION

[knockknockchicagopd]

❛ WHO'S THE ALPHA? ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: hi there�� can i request where reader and antiono dawson are dating in secret and she's pregnant and now they getting it on with some smut in his office and her father hank catches them with some angst please

❚❙ ANTONIO DAWSON MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1.9k

❚❙ NOTES: There's no smut because I couldn't imagine the situation of being caught in the act, also keeping in mind that reader is Hank's daughter. There's no way Antonio would take that kind of risk.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @anotherfan07 @ocetevasgirl @sophie-writes @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

Since you knew this morning that you're pregnant, you haven't stopped thinking about how you are going to say it to Antonio. It's not a big deal, but it means that your father will know it too. And that's a real problem. But the happiness inside you doesn't let you worry now about that. It's been a long year hiding it from him and maybe it's a good way for him to discover it.

Honestly, you can't wait till coming to his house to tell him and, by the time it is, your father must be in your home already. So you decide to drive to the District. Antonio has to be there, since he hasn't text you yet. Leaving your car in the private parking, you walk in by the back door, going upstairs straight to the Intelligence Unit, passing away what they call the cage and the interview rooms. You can't contain the smile curving up your lips when you find your boyfriend very focused on something in his computer, writing down some kind of notes in a report. He doesn't even notice your presence, till you're in front of him.

“Voight left ten minutes ago”. He says, keeping up appearances just in case someone can hear you.

“We're alone”. You reply raising both eyebrows.

Leaning back on his chair to check both sides of his office, he drags his seat away from his desk enough for you to sit on his lap. Infected by your smile, Antonio can't help but draw the same gesture while placing an arm around your waist and his other hand on the back of your head. He's delighted to see you after a long day of paperwork and his ass stuck on his chair. Sometimes he doesn't know if it is worse to be there or to be in the street. But you're his reward, so he doesn't complain.

His lips find yours in a sigh, purring against them when he feels your warm wrapping him. The only thing he needs. His kisses are soft, slow, gentle. Just like his caresses. Just like him all the time. You found the most tender man you could ask for, and you thank God every day of your life. He takes care of you like no one else, with the most minimal details, without asking anything back. You two are made for each other, that's a fact.

“Antonio… baby, I have to tell you something”.

“Can't it wait?” He mumbles pecking your lips once and again, watching him bite his in the short meantime of meeting again.

“Yeah, actually for… like seven months, more or less”.

With his mouth on yours but not moving a single inch, he pulls himself away from you frowning confused. Your boyfriend doesn't last longer than two seconds to put his brain cells to work and connects the dots. His gesture changes from playful and joy to a big pout, as his eyes are filled up with tears.

“Dios mío”.

It's the first time you watch him crying since you know him, for more than eight years. You don't doubt cleaning the tears that fall down by his cheek, as his sobs become a little constant.

“Are you sure?” He asks with a broken tone of voice, tilting his head for a moment. You just nod in silence. “When did… you know?”

“This morning. I'm two months now… Are you… happy?”

“Of course I am, princesa”. Lively laughing, he urges you to stand up to do the same and push you into a tight hug between his arms.

Of course, it wasn't something you two planned. And of course, it wasn't something you two were expecting. But you have never felt this blissfulness in your life. You're in a rollercoaster of emotions right now, just like your boyfriend who doesn't know what to say, nor what to do more than to spread a bunch of kisses all around your face trying to transmit you every single thing he is feeling right now.

Since Laura left him, Antonio thought he would never be loved with so much intensity, and then, you clapped eyes on each other. You know him ever since practically, but that time was different. You had a rare day in the hospital and he had closed a two-months investigation satisfactory. But you were tired like never before, feeling vulnerable and with a mix of emotions roaming your bodies. You came to the District looking for your father, but he was gone to celebrate already, so he offered himself to drive you home. And it just simply happened.

One year after, you're expecting your first baby. And probably not the last.

“Making friends?”

The well known tone of voice of your father interrupts your moment. Your bodies are frozen against the other, putting distance between both slowly. Gulping and turning toward the sergeant, you watch him waving a hand waiting for an answer. The tip of his tongue licks his teeth, arching an eyebrow as his face hardens. You aren't able to say anything, looking at your boyfriend who seems more terrified than you, rubbing his forehead.

“Hm…”

Your father grabs his gun from the holster on his belt, taking the safety off. You know he's just pressuring you to talk, but you block his possible target by putting ahead of Antonio. Just in case.

“Dad… Dad, list—listen”.

“I'm listening, baby girl”. He scoffs, placing his hands crossed under his abdomen.

“We… Uh…” Your heart is racing so fast that you're afraid to collapse, until you feel one of Antonio's hands hold yours, placing himself by your side. “We're together… like… a couple”.

“You're not anymore. Go home and wait for me there”.

“Da—”.

“Don't make me say it twice, (Y/N)”.

“Go. We will talk later, I promise you”. Your boyfriend's whisper doesn't make you feel convinced, but you obey in silence not being another option.

With your arms around your abdomen and your hands trembling tangled on your own uniform, you leave the District looking back every two seconds. It's not like Hank controls your life, but this is a question of honor, and you trust in Antonio. You know they need to be alone to talk some sense into him. But you also know what is going to happen.

Two long hours sitting on your sofa, desperate with your phone between both fingers waiting for a call, a text, anything. You knew it wasn't a good idea to hide it from your father, but to be honest, you didn't know that Antonio and you could go that far. The baby wasn't something planned, it just happened. You haven't even had time to react, but you still have some hope. Hank would never forbid you to continue this relationship now that you're pregnant. Though you know it's not going to be easy for him to assimilate it.

When the lights of a big SUV illuminates the street and the facade of your house, you don't lose time getting up from your seat to run to the entrance, opening the door and waiting for your father to say something as he steps out of his car. He doesn't look happy, not at all. You've lied to him all this time and you're aware of how hurt his ego is right now. It's going to cost you more than a sorry to bring back his trust in you. Licking your bottom lip in silence, you can't help but go downstairs to meet him on his path.

Hank has his hands kept in the pocket of his jeans with a rough and disappointed gesture in his face. You aren't sure what to say, being just a couple steps away from him.

“Maybe Antonio tripped and broke his nose”. He just says with feigned innocence, causing you to arch an eyebrow and cross your arms on your chest. “He's in the Chicago Med. You should go”.

Your father is about to pass you away to the inside when you stop him by a hand on his chest, pushing him back to face you.

“You're still my favorite man on earth”. You mumble bowing your head down for a second, till he holds your hand to place a kiss on the back of it.

“That's why he isn't dead, princess”.

“Isn't it because I am pregnant, and he is the father?” Not trying to contain a soft grin, you grab his other hand to lace your fingers with his and place them on your belly, knowing it's going to work.

“His grandfather is more than enough”. Hank replies squinting at you, before tilting his head to press a kiss on your forehead.

Leaving the front of your house straight to your car, he waits for you outside till you abandon your neighborhood to take the highway and reach the hospital faster. You're ashamed, you can't lie, but if your father didn't have a single scratch means that Antonio didn't hit him back, which is good. He still knows who the alpha is. You can go against the world, but not against Hank Voight. That's a fact. Everybody in Chicago knows it.

Not caring too much about how you park your car, your legs move quicker to the Emergencies being received by Will, who is trying to not laugh pressing both lips against the other. Making you a sign with a silent congratulations, your eyes travel around the open doors till finding Antonio sitting on a stretcher with his head bowed down, swinging his feet.

Knocking on the white metallic frame, you stick your head out of it with a sweet smile on the corner of your lips. “Need a ride back home, inspector?”

“May I need a nurse too”.

His brown eyes have a shine that only appears in them when he sees you after a long, long day; when he's about to be hugged by you, kissed, touched, loved. Putting down from the stretcher, you help your boyfriend to wear his jacket and zip it up over his torso.

“You okay?” Feeling your cheeks burning because of the shame, you put both hands on his neck to take a look of his nose covered with a gauze.

“He just threatened me and punched me. Honestly, I thought he would bring me to a remote place to make me dig my own grave. I think it did quite well, don't you?”

Antonio's positivism makes you laugh, nodding with your chin. Holding your arms and taking them to his mouth, he kisses both with so much care and tenderness, before tilting his head to catch your lips between his. At first, it's weird and awkward for you to be kissen for him in public, after a year hiding it. But it only lasts a short second. You can't wait to stop containing your impulses for hugging him and holding his hand and calling him amor in front of all; not in front of your dad, obviously. You're too young to die.

[batgurl1989]

The Heaviness

Summary: Henry helps ease your depression

Word Count: 1566

Warnings: Talk of Depression

A/N: It’s been a hard week. This is what came out of it. I hope those who feel depressed are seeking the help they need.

Taglist: @rmtndew​ @henrynerdfan​ @cynic-spirit​ @princesssterek​

I watched the shadows dance across the wall. The sun was starting its descent, and with it the guilt eating me up deepened. With this sunset, it will have been three days since I got out of bed for more than to go to the bathroom. If it weren’t for the water that kept appearing on the night table, I probably wouldn’t even be hydrating enough anymore to have to keep going. The food that kept appearing went mostly ignored. Every once in a while, I could convince myself to eat one of the protein bars that made a nice, neat pile on the table, but only when my stomach gave out loud protesting growls. But then heaviness returned, and I had to retreat.

I could hear Henry moving elsewhere in the house, Kal’s nails clicking on the hardwood as the Akita followed his owner around. Henry tried to be as quiet as possible, trying his hardest to not disturb me, which I loved about him. Of course, my love turned quickly into guilt about not being able to get out of bed. The guilt. Always the guilt. It weighed on me constantly. Usually followed by tears. Unexplained tears that soaked the pillowcase under my cheek and tempted me into changing the sheets on the bed. But no amount of temptation could convince me to get out of the cocoon I built for myself.

The comforter was pulled up over my head, only my face exposed. My hands fisted in the blanket, holding it tight around me, hoping to ward off whatever depression hadn’t already taken over me. My knees were pressed to my chest, cramping my muscles as a self-punishment for feeling this way. It wasn’t my choice, and I felt anger rise in my chest, but it would go unreleased and unanswered.

It was because of the comforter muffling my ears that I didn’t hear Henry enter the bedroom. The bed dipped under his weight as he crawled in silently behind me. This was the first time he had joined me in my mess without asking first. He knew that if he asked, I wouldn’t let him in. My depression was something I didn’t like sharing with anyone, but especially someone who brought so much light to my life.

Henry didn’t touch me; his arm didn’t come around me like it normally did when we slept at night. The guilt took a bite out of my heart; I knew it was eating him up that there wasn’t anything he could do to help me. He worried about me when I got like this. The first day I didn’t get out of bed, he checked on me numerous times, trying to coax me out of bed with promises of rom coms on Netflix and all the popcorn my stomach could handle. The second day, he understood this was going to be like last time and made a call to my doctor. My meds held off most of the depression, but sometimes they just weren’t enough to keep it all at bay.

It was the weekend. A message was left. Tomorrow would be a different day. My doctor would make a house call if he had to. But today… Today was what it was.

His strong big body radiated heat, warming me as it took over my cocoon. It wasn’t just a physical heat. Henry was sunshine and lightness that warmed the soul from the inside out. He wasn’t going to force me to come out of my shell, but he wanted me to know he was there if I needed him. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I realized I DID need him. Wanted him to be close.

The weight of the guilt and sadness that had become who I was the last couple of days eased as I rolled over and took in his beautiful blue eyes. The wrinkle of concern between his eyebrows. He carefully raised his hand to cup my cheek, giving me plenty of time to pull away if I didn’t want his touch. The second his large hand covered my cheek my tears started to fall.

I couldn’t stop them once they started. The dam had broken again, though I didn’t think I had many tears left in me. I had been wrong. His thumb swiped away the first few, but when they started to come faster, he decided to risk my anger and hugged me to him, tucking my head into the crook of his neck. He rolled, pulling me on top of him, hugging me tighter.

I shifted so I was straddling his waist, my hands fisted in his shirt as I let out all the sorrow that had built up in me. His hands stroked my back, soothing me but also not trying to stop me from crying. He didn’t say anything, just silently held me, being a safe harbour for me if I wanted him to be. And I did.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but eventually my sobs died down to soft sniffles. Awareness slammed into me, shocking my system. I had just ugly cried all over my boyfriend. Mortified, I tried to sit up, to run away from him. At least get to the bathroom and fix my greasy hair, maybe blow my nose. But his arms tightened around me, holding me in his comforting warm embrace.

“Don’t worry about it.” Henry whispered, reading my mind in that way of his. He had always been able to read my feelings on my face, and after we moved in together, it seemed he had gotten even better at it. I tried one more time to get up, but he didn’t budge. My mind had a hard time wrapping itself around the idea that Henry wanted me in his arms. “Relax. I don’t mind.”

I sighed, settling into him again. It was easier to just give up than to fight something I wanted. His shoulder and neck were soaked with my tears, so I shifted to his other shoulder, tucking my face back into his neck. His fingers drew small patterns on my back, working their way up and down my spine. My depression hadn’t left my body, leaving me still feeling heavy, but something had moved in my mind as I accepted Henry’s help bringing me back to myself minutely.

“Is it time to get out of bed?” Henry asked. He wasn’t going to force me, I knew that. If he had to, now that I seemed willing to have him around, he would live in this bed with me, probably invite Kal in too. But I felt different now, like the fog was a little less dense. More aware of what was going around me.

“Shower first.” I nodded but made no move to get up. With awareness came the realization of just how gross I felt on the outside as well as the inside. Maybe I would feel more like myself after a nice long shower. I didn’t think I deserved to ask him for anything else, so my question came out small and barely above a whisper. If I was being honest with myself, I didn’t know what I was going to do if he said no. “Will you help me?”

“Of course, love.” Henry kissed my forehead, putting my fear to rest. He seemed able to ignore the fact that I hadn’t showered in a couple of days, and probably smelt like it. My hair was barely held back in the ponytail I threw it up into three days ago, with chunks of it sticking up at weird angles, but he seemed able to ignore it. I don’t know how.

Carefully I eased my cramped body off the bed, standing up straight slowly. Henry moved with me, ready for any unbalance I may experience. I offered the only smile I could, a small one, before shuffling to the bathroom. He followed me, making sure not to rush me. His patience seemed endless, and I appreciated him all the more for it.

The real challenge came when I got into the bathroom and seemed to forget how to remove my clothes. I got tangled up in my hoodie when one of the arms somehow managed to fall into the neck hole as I tried to pull it over my head, my other arm caught in the arm of the hoodie. I fought the tears readying to spill again when I felt Henry’s steady hands carefully start to weave me out of the sweater. He dropped it to the floor once I escaped and decided to help me with the rest of my clothes.

We climbed into the shower, where he helped me shampoo my hair, getting the shampoo deep into the tangles of my hair. The conditioner he massaged into my scalp helped with the tangles as well. I sighed, leaning into his magic hands, wishing they would never stop. Though I felt the guilt and the sadness and the emptiness still, the warm water and my caring boyfriend seemed determined to chase them into a corner for now. And now that I was accepting help, it seemed like there was hope it would stay in the corner. It might only be for a few moments, but any light under the dark, heavy clouds was worth it.

[high-functioning-lokipath]

SH - John Watson x Reader - Better Late Than Never - Words: 2,679

A/N: This was the prompt: Reader went to med school with John, she liked him but never told him so. John gets deployed and they lose contact. A few years later they meet again because of a case.

"C'mon, Y/N," John laughed. "If you don't study for the test tomorrow, I won't give you the ice cream I bought!" 

"Is it Death By Chocolate?" You replied, raising your head only slightly from it's spot on the floor. 

"Maybe," He replied with a smirk. The two of you were in your dorm, trying to study for the quarter finals. You were in your 6th and final year of med school. You'd met about halfway through your 2nd year and had instantly become close friends. Small displays of affection were normal between the two of you, the type that best friends would share without giving a second thought. John didn't have a clue, but you had developed quite the crush on him. You never told him, though, for fear of messing up the one good friendship you had. 

"John!" You groaned, dramatically sprawling out further on the carpet. "I think my brain has died." You had been trying to remember everything you'd studied and were coming up blank. 

"Hm, I'm studying to be a doctor, not a coroner, but I would say time of death was somewhere between 6 years ago and now," He teased, leaning over you from his nearby perch on your futon. Pretending to be mad, you threw your foot up and kicked his leg. 

"You git!" You exclaimed with a grin.

"Oi!" He replied, dramatically tumbling to the floor next to you. You both lost yourselves in a fit of giggles. You stopped laughing and just stared at him when your brain caught up with your eyes and you had one of your "moments". He looked so happy lying there next to you, laughing his head off. His hair was a mess, his jumper had gotten abit twisted and was creeping up his torso, and his eyes were bright with tears of laughter. "You ok, Y/N?" He asked when he noticed you had stopped laughing. 

"Yeah, just thinking," You replied quickly. 

"Ok, as long as it's nothing serious," He said. "Really, if anything is bothering you, you can talk to me. You've been zoning out more often recently so," He looked away, a bit embarrassed. "I was worried."

"I'm fine, John," You replied, not having the guts to tell him what was really on your mind. 

About a year later, only 3 months after graduation, John called you. You still kept in touch, although you lived in different cities now, and your feelings hadn't changed. John had dated a few different girls but nothing ever worked out. You, though? You had gone on one date but left halfway through when the guy wouldn't shut up about himself and asked if you were splitting the check. John had told you he had applied at a small clinic near his apartment so you assumed his call was to update you on that. "Hey!" You said, picking up immediately.

"Uh, hey, Y/N," He said, sounding fairly upset. "Look, I," He sighed. "You remember that I enlisted a few months ago?"

"Yes," You replied, a lump forming in your throat. 

"I've just gotten my deployment letter. They're sending me to Afghanistan. I leave this Friday." Silent tears streamed down your face and you found yourself unable to reply. "Y/N? Are you still there?" He asked.

"Yeah," You choked out. "Yeah, I'm still here, John. I, well, I guess I should wish you well then." You pinched the bridge of your nose and breathed deeply, trying to get ahold of yourself. 

"Look, I know you're not a fan of the military but can't you at least congratulate me? This is something I wanted after all."

"Is it? Is it really?" You nearly yelled. "You didn't sound all that cheery two minutes ago when I picked up the phone! Besides, how could I congratulate you when all I can see is you getting blown to bits out there!"

"Sorry," He replied immediately. "That, that wasn't fair of me to ask." You both were silent for a moment before John spoke up again. "I'll write." 

"Not with that handwriting you won't, " You replied, falling back into your regular banter. 

"I'll try to make it legible for you," He promised. You nodded, though he couldn't see you, and started crying again.

"Alright," You said. "Can I drive over Friday and see you off?" 

"Best not," He said. "I think it's better for both of us, yeah?" You reluctantly agreed. The two of you chatted for a few more minutes before saying goodbye. Shaking off the foreboding feeling that had settled on you, you continued with your day and started planning your first letter to him. 

The first few weeks went well, his letters arriving regularly on Friday's without fail. Then one week it came on Monday instead, the next on Wednesday, and soon two weeks passed without a letter. When you finally received it, he said that they had gotten to a point where it was getting harder and harder to safely send a receive mail. He asked for you to stop all letters and promised to find you again when, or if, he got home. That night you wrote him one final letter but, of course, never sent it. You were determined to move on with life now but you promised yourself to never forget him.

"Good morning, Molly," You said walking into the hospital with her. You'd moved to London and gotten a job at St. Bart's, working in the outpatient clinic. A few weeks after starting there, you'd met Molly while on break. You exchanged numbers and started meeting in the cafeteria if you both had breaks at the same time. In time you met Sherlock. What an experience that had been. He immediately deduced which department you worked in, how long you'd been there, where you went to college, when you went to college and he even figured out that you'd been in love with someone in uni and never got over them. Needless to say, you were impressed. Ever since then he texted you occasionally for confirmation on medical related hypotheses.

"Good morning, Y/N," Molly replied. 

"Have you heard from Sherlock recently? I haven't gotten any texts from him in the past few weeks." Molly chuckled and nodded. 

"I've heard from him. He has a new flatmate. A doctor too!" 

"Wow!" You replied. "Good for him! Let me know next time he comes by so I can meet him. I'd like to know who my replacement is," You teased. Molly giggled and you continued chatting as you walked over to the elevator. As the doors were about to close, you heard someone yell.

"Hold the lift!" You slammed the open doors button and Sherlock ran in. He nodded at you and you let go of the button. The doors started to slide closed again when another person called out.

"Sherlock!" You froze hearing that voice. You tried to get the doors in time but missed.

"Y/N?" Molly asked, worriedly. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!" You nodded and leaned on the wall, trying to get yourself together. You decided to ride up to Molly's floor and see if Sherlock's friend came up on the next lift. Sherlock kept staring at you, confused, while you sat there waiting. A few minutes later, he came storming in the door. 

"Sherlock! What were you thinking? Why didn't you hold the lift for me? I had to wait for the next one which happened to-"

"John," You gasped, amazed that it actually was him standing in front of you. "John!" You exclaimed, jumping up and running over.

"Y/N!" He replied, a grin spreading on his face. His smile faltered quickly though. "I," He said. "I need to be going. I forgot I had an appointment. Yeah. That's it. I'll see you at the flat, Sherlock." John quickly limped out the door and off to the elevator.

"He's the one, isn't he?" Sherlock said after a few moments. You nodded sadly. 

"Why'd he run off like that?" You asked. 

"Well it's obvious he didn't have an appointment. That leaves two possible reasons for his lying. One he could be-"

"Oh shut up, Sherlock!" You cried. "I know why he left. I-" You cut yourself off, choking back a sob. "Just sod it all! I need to go to work. I'll see you at lunch, Molly." You ran off, down the hall and to the elevator. 

"Molly, I know that look in your eyes," Sherlock said once you'd left. "What are you planning?"

"The perfect set up. Now help me-"

"Molly," Sherlock interrupted her. "I may not understand a lot of things related to the topic of human relationships but I can tell you this, if either of us were to get involved, we may be maimed." Molly nodded in agreement.

Weeks went by and you worked harder than ever, taking extra shifts whenever you could. Your boss finally told you to take a week off to recharge. After much arguing, you relented and headed home for a week. Being alone all day, however, left your mind wandering. Thinking back to what might have been. To occupy your time, you decided to catch up with one of your good friends who lived nearby. You hadn't had the chance to hang out in some weeks but you texted each other every day. When you didn't hear from her yesterday, you worried but figured she probably was just tired. "Maybe she'll have some good advice for me," You told yourself. Knocking at her door, you checked your phone again to see if she had replied yet. Now you were really worried. You grabbed your spare key to her apartment and went in. 

"What do you want?" Sherlock said, answering his phone.

"Sherlock, it-it's Y/N. Can you," You paused, taking a shaky breath. "Can you come down here please? I need your help. Lestrade's already on his way."

"On my way," He replied, grabbing his coat and scarf. "What happened?" As you explained to him everything, he grabbed John's coat and tossed it to him. John was mildly confused of course, but went along. 

"I went in and found her in the bathroom," You told him. "I'm probably missing something obvious. I'm sorry," You cried.

"No, you're doing fine," Sherlock said genuinely. John looked at him surprised as they got into the cab, still not aware of who was on the other end of the call. "We'll be there in 7 minutes."

"We?" You asked. But Sherlock hung up before he answered. 

"Y/N?" Greg said, coming up behind you. "I hate to say this but, we're going to need a statement. Do you want to wait till Sherlock gets here?"

"No, it's alright. Let's get it over with." A few minutes later, you'd told Greg everything you knew and he'd gone inside with the others to investigate. A cab pulled up and Sherlock rushed out. "Sherlock!" You exclaimed running up to him. As you approached, you saw another person getting out of the cab. "Why did you bring him?" You hissed.

"He's my assistant, flatmate and, if I have deduced correctly, a friend of both of us," Sherlock said.

"Look, that was years ago, I don't even know if-" You started whisper-yelling. You got cut off though when John walked up. You noticed he was limping again. 

"John," Sherlock said. "I believe you're acquainted with Y/N. You're much better with people than I am," He stated briefly before going into the apartment.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," John said once Sherlock left. You nodded, sitting down on a nearby bench before your legs gave way from exhaustion. 

"She was a good friend of mine. I don't know what could have happened." John was quiet as he sat down next to you.

"Sherlock will figure it out. If anyone can, it's him," He finally said.

"That is for certain," You replied with a dry chuckle. "So how did you meet Sherlock?"

"Oh, well, you remember Mike Stamford?" 

"From uni? Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, he introduced me to Sherlock. We were both in need of a flatmate and he matched us up." John paused for a moment, brows furrowed. "That sounds much too much like a bad dating ad. Mike got us together."

"Nope, that's worse," You replied chuckling.

"You understand."

"I think so," You finally replied. "So," You paused. You were so desperate to ask him more but you weren't sure if this was the best time. "Oh, well, nevermind. Glad that worked out." You quieted again, staring off down the street. John looked at you for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Right, yes. So, what have you been up to?"

"Work. I got a job at St. Bart's about 2 years ago. That's how I met Molly and therefore Sherlock." You were silent for a moment before adding one more thing. "I've missed you, John."

"I've missed you too," He admitted. "I'm sorry I didn't write or call when I got back. I-" He sighed and absently rubbed at his leg. "I couldn't. I was scared, if I'm being honest."

"Why? What happened?"

"You know we got sent into a very dangerous area. That's why I had to stop writing to begin with. But then, well, I got shot."

"Your leg?" You asked since he had been limping and rubbing at it. 

"Ah, shoulder actually. The limp is psychosomatic. It comes and goes when I'm particularly worried or upset."

"Oh, I'm sorry," You said, not completely sure of what to say.

"I've been back in London for about a year. I looked you up actually. I found out you were working at Bart's. That's why I ran into Mike that day. I was in a park nearby, trying to work up the nerve to go and see you."

"Why didn't you?" You asked. He looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's ok. I should be honest." He ran a hand through his hair and chuckled nervously. "I was afraid of what you'd think of me. I didn't come back as some 'war hero'. I'm a washed up medic who can't even walk correctly."

"It's psychosomatic, right?" You asked, tilting your head slightly.

"Sherlock says so."

Well then, you have nothing to fear." He looked at you questioningly. "You know I never cared about the military so I could honestly care less if you came back known as some 'war hero' or not. You're not washed up, just look at you! Out here solving mysteries with the world's only Consulting Detective, Sherlock Holmes! And you can too walk right! You're just too scared to."

"I'm not so sure-" You interrupted him by leaning over and planting a kiss on his lips. Pulling away with a giggle you got up and ran a few feet away. 

"You'll have to come here to get another!" 

"Oh, you devil," He grinned. He got up and walked over to you quickly, picking you up, spinning you around and giving you another kiss. You laughed happily and leaned on his shoulder. 

"See? You did just fine!" 

"I suppose I did, didn't I?" He chuckled. 

"Oh, John," You giggled. "I should have told you a long time ago. I love you, John Watson." He smiled from ear to ear.

"I love you too, Y/N L/N. But a crime scene isn't really the best place to do this at."

"Why not? We giggle at murders all the time?" Sherlock suddenly butted in.

"How long have you been standing there?" John yelled.

"Well," Greg suddenly said, a few feet away and holding up his phone. "This video is already 4 minutes long, so," He trailed off.

"John," You said, not taking your eyes off the two other men.

"Yes, love?" He asked as you reached for his hand.

"Let's get 'em." You then spent the rest of the afternoon chasing Sherlock and Greg around the neighborhood, enjoying their girly shrieks, until Mycroft showed up and put a stop to it. Later that evening, you and John were enjoying some Chinese takeaway back at your apartment.

"I really can't apologize enough for leaving you in the dark, Y/N," John said. "I should have written," He chided himself.

"It's alright, John," You assured him. "Actually, you just reminded me of something. Wait here a moment." You ran off to your room and pulled an envelope out of a small box in your desk. You returned to the living room and held it out to John. "This is for you. It was my last letter but," You paused, blushing lightly. "I never mailed it."

My Dear Captain Watson,

I hope you're doing well. I hope you're staying safe and helping as many as you can. I hope -

Oh what am I writing. John, there's something you should know and I wish I could tell you in person but better now than never I suppose.

I love you.

There. Feel free to never write me back again or return this with a 'Dear John' letter. Well, you know what I mean. I wish I could have said it better or sooner but I was scared to lose your friendship. Now I'm more scared of actually losing you.

John, please return safely. Even if we never speak again. The world should not be without John Watson.

All my love,

Y/N

"Y/N," John said, tears in his eyes after reading your letter. "Why didn't you send it?"

"Well, you had asked me not to write anymore since it was dangerous and," You paused, shaking your head sadly. "I chickened out again."

"Well, I guess what they say is true then." You looked at him quizzically as he pulled you close to him and leaned his forehead on yours. "Better late than never."

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

@ladylulu143

@gaitwae

[moved-danganronpamess]

Hello to the new mods! I saw that requests were open and I had this one on my noggin for a while now. How about Fuyuhiko, Peko and Gundham with an S/O who has a cat that's like an ABSOLUTE UNIT?? Big, fluffy, soft and super friendly! How would they react to the cat just randomly sitting down on their lap??

A B S O L U T E U N I T .

This is so!! Adorable!! I have a chonky cat myself (he’s perfectly healthy, don’t worry!) and I love cats in general- he’s sitting behind me as I’m writing this. Mans knows what’s up.

I hope you enjoy it, my buttercup baby!

TW for some slightly vulgar language because Fuyuhiko exists.

- 🌺💖Mod Rantaro💖🌺

Fuyuhiko, Peko and Gundham with an S/O who has a chonky, friendly cat!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu :

You were hanging out at your place, the usual.

Fuyuhiko knew you had a cat, but he’s never seen it. He just assumed it was skittish or shy and didn’t really question it. 

But as you two were casually watching a movie on the couch, a wild chonky baby appeared!

Fuyuhiko heard the jingling bell on it’s collar, and as he turned around to look where it came from, he heard you cooing: “Hello, buddy~! Did you sleep well??”, and then felt a weight on his lap.

Oh my god.

The cat was just... Vibing... With all that CHONK-

He froze for a few moments, then pat the top of the cat’s head, a rare, soft smile appearing on his face.

It’s so fat and fluffy that his heart can’t help but feel warm.

Don’t point it out though or he’ll never come in contact with an animal ever again-

He kept asking you questions about the cat. Like it’s name, where it came from, how you got it, what breed it was, why he’s literally never seen it before-

You explained that your cat was an extremely heavy sleeper, and that whenever Fuyuhiko came to your house, it was somehow always in the middle of a nap. So it just slept through his entire visit in a random part of the house-

Oh. Yeah, that kinda makes sense-

He and the cat become pretty close really fast. It was following him around everywhere, ran to the door whenever he came over, sat on him all the time, slowly blinked at him, etc. It was like no one else existed when he was around.

I don't blame the cat though like me too no thoughts only Fuyuhiko

Congratulations, your boyfriend has stolen the heart of your cat!

He never got why you’d just coo at it like it was a baby though.

And then he started doing it.

But like... In his own way.

And now he can’t stop.

“You’re so goddamn fat. Look at you, you dumb lil’ fatty!” 

You cursed him to swear at and insult your cat in a baby voice I-

He also has literal arguments with the cat sometimes-

Tends to go like:

“I know you ate my sandwich while I wasn’t looking, you damn fatass.”

“Mrrroooowww.”

“What do you mean you didn’t do it?? Look at how thicc you are! You walk into a room and your ass walks in five minutes later!!”

“MeoOooOOOwW!!”

Never-the-less he loves that cat with his whole heart, even if he’ll never admit it. 

Peko Pekoyama :

You and Peko were walking to your house, taking in the fresh air.

You had just recently, around a few months ago, let a random cat into your house after you found it outside.

It looked well-taken care of, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find any signs of an owner. So, you decided to adopt it!

You still haven’t told Peko, since you didn’t know if you would be keeping the cat or not, but you were planning to tell her today.

 So, the two of you made it to your place. You went inside, and got ready to play some videogames, when you told her you needed to go get something.

That something was your new fluffy friend.

You were looking around the house, but... Couldn’t find the cat anywhere. You started to panic a little bit. 

Until you got back to the living room, where you saw Peko still sitting on the couch, your cat comfortably laying in her lap.

“Oh, there it is!”, you breathed out, relieved the cat was still inside and ok.

Peko was... So astonished. She stared down at the cat with wide eyes, unsure if she should pet it or not. It was... So fluffy...

Animals were usually afraid of her, and she didn’t wanna scare off your furry companion.

You giggled at her. For some reason, the fact she was the Ultimate Swordsman, yet was so captivated by your cat was adorable.

“You can pet it, Peko, don’t worry.”

“Won’t... It get scared and run off?”

“If it chose to sit in your lap, I doubt it!”

So, she slowly pet it, and heard it start to purr so loudly it sounded like a little motorcycle.

And that was the start of their friendship.

The cat, like with Fuyuhiko, follows her around a lot. But unlike Fuyuhiko, she points it out every time because she’s so surprised-

The cat loves to just vibe on her shoulders. If she’s walking around your house the cat IS sitting up there, no I don’t make the rules.

She also has conversations with the cat. She doesn’t coo at it, but she talks to it a lot.

Something like in this one video I found-

That cat looks so sweet I’m crying-

She’s really glad that that precious kitty came up to her.

Gundham Tanaka:

You were heading to Gundham's place, cat carrier in your hands. You and Gundham have been planning to move in together, and wanted to help your cat get adjusted to the various other animals that were in his care.

When you got there and Gundham greeted you, you got to work. You opened the cat carrier, letting your fluffy friend out, as it started to carefully sniff around the new environment.

The other animals were kept in a separate room. You were trying to do this slowly, after all! You didn't want to overwhelm the kitty.

Yes, that also meant the Dark Devas. He was worried they would be put in danger. Even if they were all-powerful, their mortal forms were incredibly fragile. He just put them to sleep in their little bed and let them vibe there-

Gundham could only look at the cat, astonished, and proudly say: "No wonder, someone as divine as you tamed even the most powerful of beasts!"

He's just being extra he's amazed by the chonk

But, of course, he had some worries about the cat's health.

He wasn't trying to say you were a bad owner, not at all! He just wanted to make sure that the cat was in top condition, despite it's weight.

And, thankfully, it was! So his worries were for nothing.

When it got used to it's surroundings, the cat immediately went to Gundham's side. He was used to animals naturally gravitating towards him, so he wasn't that surprised, but he was overjoyed that your cat also liked him.

You and the Ultimate Breeder spent time together, playing with the cat and letting it roam around his home and pick up the scents of the other animals.

And when you two moved in, your cat fit in like it was around since the beggining!

It easily got along with the other animals, found it's way around the house with no trouble and adjusted to Gundham's presence very quickly.

And Gundham was very surprised, but glad to find out that the cat?? Took care of the Devas, in a sense?? Almost like a parental figure would. You could always find the Devas either piled on top or around the cat and sleeping in it's fur, or the cat grooming them.

It was a really cute sight let's be honest-

And like with Peko the cat vibes on Gundham's shoulders a lot.

And he sometimes rolls it up into a purrito with his scarf because it's funny and the cat lowkey loves it-

Getting the cat to adjust did take a while, but Gundham was glad that, in the end, it became a part of your joined animal family.

Yay, another request done! I hope you enjoy this one! I'm also sorry for kinda,, Not posting, I procrastinated on writing this and am still procrastinating on writing the other requests I've claimed sgshdg-

Make sure to drink some water, take any meds you may need to, and maybe eat some fruit or candy! Lotsa love from me, my buttercup baby! <3

[jadedxrealityw]

-Time Of The Month- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

   Kody: This is for all my homies who are taking a trip down a heavy river with bloody mary or for anyone who just enjoys stories of Draco taking care of you while your on your period

   Warning: Cursing, mentions of blood and hopeless Draco

   House: Slytherin

   Summary: Bloody mary has cursed you with her presence and Draco is in for a hormonal storm.

    ♡~🐍~♡

   While scribbling down notes for potions class you felt a pain in your abdomen. You wince slightly and stop writing, placing your quill down on the desk. This couldn’t be happening, not now. Not while in class. Hoping it was just a false alarm, you pick up your quill again to continue taking notes.

   Not even a minute later a sharp pain came from your abdomen again. Fuck. You needed to get out of this classroom now. Slowly raising your hand, you waited for Snape to notice you were there. He looked up from his book and eyed you for a moment “Yes Ms. L/n?” he said in his usual monotone voice. You gulped, hoping he would take pity on you. 

   “May i visit the hospital wing, im not feeling to well”

   Snape noted your uncomfortable expression and your other hand on your abdomen. He may have been a man, but he wasn’t student. He sighed and made a waving gesture with his hand “Yes. Take your things with you as well” You nodded and gave him a quick smile before stuffing your belongings into your bag. You get out of your seat and leave the classroom.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   As you pushed open the doors to the hospital wing, you saw Madam Pomfrey at her workstation. She looked up when she heard the sound of the door opening and smiled “Why hello Ms. L/n! What can i do for you today?” she asked, walking from the desk and over to you. You laugh nervously and lean in so only she could hear “I need pads/tampons and some medicine for cramps” you say in a hushed tone.

   Madam Pomfrey makes an ‘o’ shape with her mouth and nods. Heading over to her workstation, she grabs a brown paper bag and fills it with some items. She did it very inconspicuously so no one would see what the contents were. When she was done she folded the top of the bag and walked back over to you. 

   “Here you go darling, everything you asked for including a couple chocolate frogs” she gave you a small wink, making you giggle. She hands you the bag and you turn on your heels to leave the hospital wing and find a bathroom. 

   ♡~🐍~♡

   When you walked into the bathroom you were met with the sound of crying. Shit, this was moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. “W-Who’s there!” the ghost shouted, she flew out the stall and came face to face with you “Oh, Y/n. Hello” she said, her tears coming to a stop. “Hey Myrtle, i just need to change. No peeking please?” you say, giving the ghost girl a pleading look.

   Myrtle nods vigorously “Promise” You nod and give her a smile before walking into on of the stalls. You make sure the doors locked before going through your bag, you grabbed the extra underwear you keep in there, just for emergencies and place it on top of your bag. You remove your robe, placing it gently on the ground and start to tug off your skirt and the shorts you wore underneath. 

   You then take of your underwear and there it was. A blood stain that screamed ‘Fuck you’ sighing you place the dirty underwear on the side on your bag and grabbed the clean ones, you take a pad/tampon from your bag and put it where it needs to be before slipping your underwear on. You dressed yourself again and grabbed a plastic ziplock bag that held your clean underwear and put the dirty ones in there. 

   You heard students in the hallway which meant class ended and it was lunch time. You craved lunch at the moment, so much it made your stomach growl. You stuff your things in your bag and head out the stall “Bye Myrtle!” you said, waving to her. She gave you a smile back and waved as well before heading into her stall.

       ♡~🐍~♡ 

   Walking into the great hall the smell of food made you much hungrier than you were a second ago. Taking a look at the Slytherin table, you saw your boyfriend sitting with his friends, which made you needy all of the sudden. Damn hormones. Walking to the table, Draco spots you and gives you a warm smile and scooched over so you could sit next to him. 

   You sat down and he instantly wrapped an arm around your shoulders. A warm feeling blossomed in your chest as you lean your head on his broad shoulder. Draco smiles and tilts his head to give you a kiss on your hair “Blaise told me you went to the hospital wing, everything okay?” he whispered.

   You wondered how Blaise knew until you remembered he was in your potions class. Duh. “Yeah, just started bleeding” you whispered back, Draco’s face changing to one of confusion before his mind clicked “Oh okay, cramping im guessing?” you nod and as if on cue a pain shot through you, making you whine quietly. 

   Draco gave you a sympathetic look and gives you a light squeeze “Just try and eat love, okay?” he asked. You agreed and sat straight up again. You picked up one of the serving spoons and put mac and cheese on your plate. You were starving, so you put a serving for two people.

   “That’s a lot of food L/n, pigging out much? Oink Oink” you took a deep breath. Pansy fucking Parkinson. You put the serving spoon down and pick up your fork. Just ignore her and it’ll be fine you thought. You take a bite of your mac and cheese “Where did Draco get you? A barn?” she cackled, her friends laughing with her.

   “Pansy shove off before i make you” Draco said through gritted teeth, giving the Slytherin girl a scowl. Pansy scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest “How about fighting your own battles L/n?” she let out a menacing chuckle. You sigh looking up from your plate and at her, with no expression what so over “How ‘bout you suck my fucking dick, Parkinson?”

   Gasps were heard throughout the Slytherin table making Pansy flush red with embarrassment. “Your disgusting!” she shouted making you cringe before storming out the great hall. You shrug and take another bite of your warm food “Merlin Y/n what crawled up your ass?” Blaise laughed into his hand.

   “Your mother” this time it was Draco’s turn to laugh, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. Blaise rolled his eyes and went back to his food “Alright love, lets calm down” Draco cooed and kissed your temple.

   ♡~🐍~♡  

   Hand in hand, you and Draco walked into the Slytherin common room. You felt that needy feeling to be all over him again. You just craved his attention, like his constant attention. “Can i lay in your room while you do homework?” You asked in a whiny tone, causing Draco to let out a tiny laugh “Of course, love” he replies and leads you to his dorm. 

   Once you two are in the dorm, you let go of Draco’s hand and walk over to his bed, drop your bag and flop down. You heard Draco laugh behind you “Comfortable?” he asked, making his way to his desk and sit down, placing his bag on the desk as well. You hummed in response as you curled into the silk sheets, closing your eyes as well.

   “I want cuddles” you whine again, Draco smiles lightly and pulls out his textbook “Let me get this done first darling then i’ll give you all of my attention, how does that sound?” You couldn’t see, but he saw your mouth form into a smile. “Okay” you said in a small voice. He nods and turns to start his homework while you laid on his bed.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   It had been 20 minutes and you were getting restless. You sit up from the bed “Can i borrow some of your clothes Draco?” you asked looking at the ceiling. “Yeah sure love” he said quickly and went back to his work, oh right. He was doing homework. You felt bad for interrupting him because you knew how frustrated with work he could get. 

   You frown and decided to no longer bother him. You get up from the bed and walked over to his dresser. You pull out a emerald green sweater and black sweatpants. Since he’s turned around you just change behind him and once you do, you place your clothes on a chair and feel the worst cramp. It almost had you buckled over. 

   You go over to your things and grab the brown paper bag, taking out the medicine. You pop one of the pills, but it was going to take time to kick in. You someone climb onto the bed and pull the sheets over you. The cramps kept hitting you one by one, spreading to your back. You couldn’t help the tears that slipped from your eyes. 

    ♡~🐍~♡

   Draco was finishing up the last line of his work when he heard small small whimpers and whines come from his girlfriend. He turns around to see her curled up in the fetal position. He gets up from his desk and walks over to you “Love are you okay?” he asked, worry lacing his tone. 

   You look up at him and give him a sad smile “Cramps, i already took medicine. I’m waiting for it to kick in. I’m fine, you can go back to your work” You waved your hand, signalling him to walk off. He shakes his head “No, i’m finished anyway. So i can cuddle with you” 

   Draco goes over to his dresser and starts to remove his clothes. You queak, closing your eyes and wait a minute before opening them. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He gives you a smile and lays down behind you, placing an arm around you. “It’ll be okay love, just try to relax till the meds kick in okay?” he whispers, placing a sweet kiss behind you ear. You hum and lean into his touch

   Draco begins to rub circles into your abdomen, the pain begins to die down making you smile “Thank you so much” You say “Don’t be love. I’m your boyfriend and i love you, so of course i’d do this for you.” Draco kisses your head again. You feel yourself become a bit drowsy and yawn quietly, closing your eyes. 

   “I love you too” You mumble as you drift off into a dreamless sleep. Draco following soon after. Maybe this week of bloody hell (get....get it?) wouldn’t be so bad. Especially when Draco was there to hold your hand though it.

   ♡~🐍~♡

   Kody: It’s four am and i should be sleeping, so i wrote this instead. We love insomnia. Anyway, have a lovely day or night. Don’t let the Nargles take your things. Peace.

[darthkruge]

Bellamy Blake Imagine ~ Reunited

Summary: (request) You were dating Bellamy up in the Ark and haven’t seen each other since you got locked up. Now that you’re back on the ground, you finally reunite.

Words: 1820

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, some language

a/n: I absolutely loved writing this. Thank you so much for requesting! I hope this is something like what you had in mind  <3 

~ Italics symbolize flashbacks ~

You sigh as you wake up in your cell. Another fucking day of this torture. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you see the tear-stains on your cheeks and your matted hair. Ever since you got locked up all those months ago, you haven’t been sleeping. It was so fucking stupid. All you wanted was some extra medicine for your mother. She’d been sick for a while and the rations were spread too thin and she works so hard to help you, you thought you’d get away with it. But you tripped the alarm on your way out of med bay and the guards got to you before you even had a chance to say goodbye to her. Or him. Him. 

Bellamy arrived at your door as you sat in the corner, reading one of the mythology stories he lent you. You immediately jumped up and ran into his arms. He chuckled, catching you against him as you wound your arms around each other. 

“How was your shift?” You ask, knowing how hard he works as a guard. 

“It was alright. I’m tired, though. They’ve been riding my ass lately, something about increasing security protocols. I don’t know.” He sighs, frustrated. You frown. You hate the pressure they put on him. You know he’s reliable and takes his job seriously, but that doesn’t mean they need to put all the responsibility on him. 

He sees you upset and his gaze softens. He sighs gently. “I missed you, beautiful.”

Ever since you were locked away, you hoped one day he would show up at your cell. He hadn’t, but not for a lack of trying. You knew that he tried, every day to get to you, just to see you again and make sure you were okay. But the Ark had him on watch, afraid he would do something stupid like try and break you out. So they monitored him constantly. You were glad he at least had the sense to listen. The last thing you could bear is something happening to Bellamy. 

“Holy shit, Y/N” 

You gently bunched your fingers in the dress you were wearing. It was the only one you had and you weren’t used to wearing it. Nice clothing was such a luxury, you were amazed you had saved enough to even buy this semi-clean, hole-ridden one.

You looked down at yourself and fidgeted with your hands anxiously. “That bad?” You ask, cheeks heating up

“Oh, fuck, no! Babe, you look incredible. I mean, you always look incredible. But tonight you look really, really incredible.” Bellany was rambling. He hated that you didn’t see yourself the way he saw you and spent everyday helping you with your confidence. 

You finally look up at him and smile, starting to believe his words. “Thank you, Bell” You whisper softly as he comes up next to you, gently grabbing your hands in his and pressing a gentle kiss to them.

The hoard of guards took you out of your thoughts. Okay, what the fuck is going on? You only saw one guard a day and he brought you food twice, that was it. There were never five guards at once, barreling toward each cell. They break through your door, running toward you and harshly grabbing your arms. You frantically look at them, hoping Bellamy is one of them, but quickly realize he isn’t. 

“What the fuck? What are you doing? Where are you taking me?!” You yell frantically, flailing and kicking as they drag you out of your cell. What if they’re going to float me? They might be overpopulated and need to get rid of the juveniles in the SkyBox. It wouldn’t be too far of a reach. Oh shit, what if something happened to my mom? Is that why they’re taking me out??

Eventually they bring you to a strange-looking ladder, leading up to who knows where. They harshly push you up, as more and more prisoners are filing in behind you. Getting lost in the crowd, you have no choice but to climb up and find yourself on a ship. You are pushed toward an empty seat and sit down, instinctively strapping yourself in. You try and calm your breathing, having no idea what’s about to happen to you. Looking around, you recognize some of your old classmates and others who were in the Sky Box with you. It gives you a small piece of comfort that they all seem as confused as you are. 

You’re jolted from your seat as the ship takes off and realize you’re falling. You hear whispers and realize that holy shit, they’re sending you to the ground.

You hit the ground less-than-graciously and look down at the bracelet those guards must have strapped on you when they pulled you from your cell. Still confused, you move to stand up, your legs still shaky and breathing uneven from the complete stress of the day. You think about your mother and Bellamy, the two most important people in your life who you will probably never see again. You feel the tears rising up and fight to keep them at bay. This is now about survival and you won’t make it if you spend every day living in the past. 

You almost pass out when you hear that voice. “If the air’s toxic we’re all dead anyway,” Someone says. And that voice could only belong to him. It could only ever be Bellamy’s. But how the hell is this even possible? He’s not here, he wasn’t in the skybox. Fuck your brain for playing tricks on you. You know you’ve been thinking about him constantly, but a hallucination is just plain cruel. 

The doors open and everyone runs outside. They yell and scream, breathing in the air as they discover they survived. You walk out, hoping the air will clear your head, but you’re still having trouble. Because it can’t be him. Right?

Regardless, you need to see for yourself. You hastily push through the crowd and your knees almost give out when you see him. Your hand goes up to your mouth, eyes filling with tears as the raw emotion of seeing the love of your life for the first time in months hits you. He catches your eye and his face pales. He blinks, unsure if you’re real. 

You run to him faster than you’ve ever moved before. You don’t care if you’re pushing someone over. You don’t care if you take up all the oxygen in the world. You don’t care if you die in two minutes, so long as you can touch him one more time. You don’t care about anything else but him, him, him. 

You collide with his chest and jump up, legs wrapping around his strong frame. You bury your face in his neck, hot tears sliding down your face. His hands are grabbing your arms, your back, your hair as he feels you and realizes you’re really here. You pull back and so does he, breathless smiles and tears running down both your faces. His arms are now under your thighs, supporting you.

“I thought I would never see you again” You whisper, crying harder.

“Princess, you could never get rid of me that easy” He whispers back, pulling you closer than you previously thought was humanly possible.

He gently sets you down and you collapse into his chest, your head spinning. 

“Fuck, I missed you” You say. 

“I missed you too. God, I missed you. I tried to get to you, I promise I tried. I’m so sorry. They took you away and I didn’t know and I tried. Every day, every night, every second I wasn’t with Octavia or my mother I was looking for you. Even when I was with them, you were always with me. I- I should have been faster, I should have protected you. Y/N, please, I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head quickly, “Bell, don’t blame yourself. Please, don’t do that to yourself. It was my choice to take that medicine, not yours. And I know you tried. Never for a second did I doubt you. And you were with me too. I couldn’t have made it through without keeping the hope alive that I would see you again. But then they took me and I thought I was going to die and I wasn’t going to say goodbye without telling you I loved you one more time.” Your voice breaks, the emotion overtaking you.

Bellamy’s heart shatters. He’s always hated seeing you cry, seeing the pain you’re going through. All he ever wanted to do was make it better. “Hey, hey, hey. Baby, it’s okay now. I’m here and you’re here and we’re okay. Y/N we're on Earth and we’re alive. That’s pretty fucking incredible”

“Leave it to us, huh?” You say, laughing gently.

He smiles and kisses you, deep and strong. Once again, the world fades and it’s just the two of you. You breathe into each other and pour everything into the kiss. All the feelings of doubt, pain, hurt, love, hope, happiness, and relief of the last months are desperately conveyed into this one, single embrace. 

You pull away and look at him, worried. 

He looks at you quizzically. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, God, nothing. I have everything I could possibly want. But it’s just hitting me. Bell, what are we going to do? We’re just a bunch of kids, criminals, on Earth. There’s no society, no rules, no food, no shelter, no water. How are we going to survive?” You say, brain scrambling at about a million thoughts a second.

He places his hands on your shoulders, comforting, but firm. Whenever you started to fall into an overthinking spiral, Bellamy grounded you. 

“Hey, hey. Breathe with me. It will be okay. We’ll figure it out, it’s what we’ve always done. Y/N, you’re brilliant. I’m sure you’ll come up with wonderful ideas to help us. You always do. And we have survival instincts. It may not look like it now, but I believe in this group. We’re going to need each other to survive and I think they’ll realize that.”

You look at him, feeling slightly better. He always knows what to say to put your mind at ease. You smile, realizing that since you found each other you haven’t kept your hands off each other. Literally. Ever since you ran to him that one time, you’ve been touching. You look at his hands which have now traveled to your arms as he gently caresses them. You softly press your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks as you look at him. 

“You are going to be a brilliant leader”

“And I will have the most amazing person in the world right next to me.”

“Obviously. I’m not letting you get all the glory, Blake.”

“I would expect nothing less, L/N.”

--

@sgarrett49​ 

[procrastinatorimagines]

Spoken For

Fandom: Chicago Med / One Chicago

Character/s: Connor Rhodes x Reader, Will Halstead

Warning/s: none

Word Count: 2,684

Request:  Hi there, can I get a Connor Rhodes x reader imagine? Where the reader starts at Med about a year after Connor did as she was taking care of their newborn son (they're married). When she starts at Med, Will immediately takes a liking to her, not knowing she's with his rival, Connor. He starts noticing Connor cozying up to reader and reader also being affectionate towards Connor and he gets jealous until one day their son comes to the hospital (he fell), thus exposing their marriage. Thank you

You didn’t regret the time you’d taken off of work after your son was born, but stepping through the door to the ED at Chicago Med you felt an instant sense of familiarity, it was good to be back.

The pregnancy had coinsided well with the move to Chicago, your husband Connor being offered a position there while you were in your second trimester. Being well into your third by the time of the move, you didn’t see the point in trying to find a job right away, and in the end your son had been nearly one by the time you’d made the decision to go back to work.

Given that both you and Connor were doctors you had very busy and demanding schedules, and with Connor already being offered a good job at Med, it made sense for you to be the one to take the time off, but you’d been getting a little stir crazy recently so you’d started to look into jobs in the ED again, by chance ending up with an offer from Med.

Connor was happy for you to be working with him, he co-workers knew he was married, but you knew he didn’t share much about his personal life and liked to keep both separate, so you were excited to finally get to meet the people he worked with.

It felt strange to be back in a hospital, but the rush of the ED had always been where you belonged, so with one last deep breath, you headed inside to start your first day.

You were heading through the waiting room, the desk you needed to go to to sign in right through the glass doors on the other end. The seats were packed, as expected, and you could see nurses and doctors bustling around on the other side of those doors, your new co-workers too. You didn’t see Connor, he’d had an early surgery and you’d refused to let him walk you in and make a scene, wanting to make a first impression based solely on your work as a doctor, not on your husband. 

Connor understood, knowing how difficult it was for you today anyway, your first full day without your son. You silently kicked yourself for wanting to call the sitter already to check in, it hadn’t even been a full half hour yet and you needed to make it through a full day. 

A cry for help ripped you from your worries as you turned quickly to where the sound came from. An older woman and her daughter had been sat at a couple of seats nearer the entrance, and the woman had now collapsed in her seat, slidling to the floor and seizing as her daughter called out.

There was another nurse in the waiting room, and she rushed to call for aid as you doubled back, rushing to the woman.

“I’m a doctor,” you informed the petrified looking daughter as you reached them, pushing through some onlookers you had started to crowd the woman and crouching down.

“Ma’am, ma’am can you hear me?” You asked her, immediately rolling her over and positioning her head and neck so that her airway was open. She was unresponsive and thrashing violently as you tried to get people to back up and give you room.

“Is she going to be okay?” The daughter asked, distraught as you held her mother’s head, trying to stop it smacking against the floor and attempting to take her pulse as another doctor and nurse arrived.

“She’s seizing, her heart rate’s rapid and breathing’s unsteady,” you informed the doctor who arrived, a tall red haired man who immediately got down next to you.

“Has this happened before?” The doctor asked the daughter who nodded, shaking.

“It’s why we came in, they’re getting worse,” she sobbed and you looked to the other doctor.

“We need to push diazepam and get her inside,” you told him and he nodded, the nurse who arrived with him handing you the dose as she readied a backboard and guerney.

Once it was administered you and the doctor carefully rolled the woman onto the backboard. “On my count, one, two, three,” he said as you both lifted the woman up and onto the guerney, wheeling her inside quickly.

“What we got?” A nurse at the desk inside the ED doors asked, most likely the one in charge, Connor had said her name was... Maggie right?

“Woman seized in the waiting room,” you told her, filling her in on the other details as she directed you to room 3.

You moved her again onto the bed and did a proper exam, the daughter rushing in behind you as you did. Once she was stabilised and tests were ordered, you turned to face the doctor who had helped you.

“Doctor Will Halstead,” he introduced himself, offering a hand and looking at you curiously. Your new ID clearly stated that you were a doctor here, but he’d definitely never met you before.

“Doctor Y/L/N, Y/N” you told him, seeing recognition on his face as he nodded. You’d kept your last name when you’d married Connor, mostly for professional reasons, so you doubted he knew you were married to him, he must have known you were starting today.

“Ah that’s right, Miss Goodwin said you’d be joining us today,” he said, “nice to meet you, and welcome to Med I guess,” he chuckled and you smiled. Despite the fact that any illusion you may have had about easing back into work had vanished quickly, it had been just like riding a bike, you were back to your old self pretty quickly.

The nurse from earlier reappeared. “Hi, nurse Sexton,” she greeted you and you returned the gesture, “you good to work this one with Doctor Halstead?” She asked, gesturing with the tablet in her hand to your patient.

“Definitely,” you nodded as she handed you her charts, it was time to get back to work.

Okay, so you might have called the sitter a couple more times than you should, but not nearly as much as you’d expected. This case had kept you pretty busy and you’d been running around with Halstead all day, even through your lunch with Connor too. He’d been okay with it, obviously understanding how hectic it could be, but by the time you’d had a break to eat he’d been back in surgery, so by the time your shift was finishing up you hadn’t actually seen him all day.

“Hell of a first day,” Will laughed as he entered the doctors lounge, going into his locker as you finished off in yours.

“Could have been worse,” you replied with a smile, not quite knowing why Connor had been off about this guy. From what you’d heard well, you hadn’t expected to like him so much, there wasn’t anybody in the ED that you’d met so far that you couldn’t see yourself getting on with, especially Will. 

“Night Will,” you told him, heading for the door before he called you back.

“Hey,” he said and you paused, “if you’re not doing anything tonight there’s a bar called Molly’s we all go to, buy you a drink to celebrate your first day?” He offered and you shook your head.

“Thanks for the offer really, but I have to head home,” you explained and he shrugged.

“Offers on the table if you’re ever interested,” he replied and you said your goodbyes, heading to the car park where you were meeting Connor.

He greeted you by the car and you headed home, discussing your day and spending time with your son. Connor didn’t seem too impressed that Will had asked you out for drinks, but you told him he was reaching, inviting a new co-worker out for a drink was a perfectly platonic thing to do, you reassured him, not that it did much good.

-

The next few days continued the same, Connor was slammed upstairs and today had been the first day he was back in the ED since you started, no one seeming to be any the wiser about your marriage. 

You still hadn’t gone for drinks at Molly’s, too busy with your son after shift, but you’d grabbed coffee and lunch with Will over the last couple of days when you could to go over your patients’ cases, or just because he was the only other person you were really getting to know at Med. You could tell Connor wasn’t entirely happy about it, but who was he to police your friendships? Just because he didn’t always get along with Will, didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Hey,” Connor grinned as he met you at the nurses station, a tablet in your hand to give him on your possibly surgical patient. He took it without looking away from you, enjoying how you looked in your element of the ED. “I hear you’ve made a great impression so far,” he noted, nudging you playfully.

“So far so good,” you replied as he looked at your notes, nodding along. “It was Doctor Halstead’s call for a surgical consult, but I agree,” you explained as he read, his jaw clenching a little at the mention of Will yet again, but he said nothing, “she’s in treatment 4.”

“Well I’m sure you and Doctor Halstead are right, but I’d like to go speak to her first, and then we can get her prepped,” he concluded, looking back to where the patient’s family was talking outside her room, probably worried about the prospect of surgery.

“Sounds good,” you said, noticing Will approaching, the last of the labs in his hands, “I’ll see you later,” you told Connor, who winked at you and squeezed your upper arm as he left.

Will looked between you and where Connor was walking away with a puzzled expression, “what was that about?” He asked.

“Just going over the notes on our surgical patient,” you replied and he cast one last glance between the two of you before shaking his head a little and changing to subject to the labs he’d gotten back. Was he talking about the wink? You thought after a minute, but by that point you couldn’t really say anything, oh well, they’d find out about your marriage at some point.

-

“What do you mean he fell? Is he okay?” You asked frantically over the phone, drawing the attention of a number of doctors and nurses as you answered the call near the nurses station, including Will and your husband.

“Is it James?” Connor butted in at your side, watching you nod as you carried on listen to the sitter explaining what happened, apparently he’d taken a tumble near the coffee table and an empty glass had fallen, she said he had some cuts and was crying hysterically, so she was bringing him in right away. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll be here when you arrive,” you told her and hung up, turning back to your concerned husband. “He’s okay,” you reassured him, “he’s got a few scrapes but she isn’t sure how deep they are so she’s bringing him in now.” 

Connor took a sharp breath, “okay, okay, let’s just... wait until he gets here,” he said, more to calm himself down than you.

“Guys, who’s James?” Will asked finally, having been staring at you both perplexed during the entire conversation. 

“Our son,” Connor snapped back at him with a little too much force, but thankfully you saw that he did look a bit guilty about it.

“Your what?” Will repeated, the cogs turning in his head as he looked between the two of you, before he eyes settled on you, realisation dawning, “you and Connor... wait, you’re his wife?”

“Er yeah,” you replied, Connor gesturing for you to hurry it a long a bit so you could go wait for your son, “look, I have to go, talk later?” Will nodded, understanding the urgency but still looking confused as you walked away.

You met a very apologetic sitter at the entrance, your screaming child in her arms as you took him quickly, rocking him and shushing him as you brought him inside, grateful that Maggie had left a room open for when he arrived. 

Connor was in the room when you arrived, kissing him on the head as you set him down on the bed. He had cuts on his arms and legs, and a bump on his head from where he’d made contact with the table. To both yours and Connors relief, he didn’t need stitches, but the sitter had brought some of his favourite little treats and his favourite toy to distract him as your husband bandaged him up, checking the seriousness of the bump on the head. 

You strocked his hair lightly as he did, watching as he eventually began to settle back in the company of his parents, still sobbing quietly though as he sucked his thumb, arm of his teddy bunched in his fist.

Connor wanted to run a couple of tests while you were there, just to confirm his head was okay, and eventually you left to grab drinks, not wanting to leave your son but glad Connor was still with him. 

Will met you by the vending machine as you got a couple of waters. “How’s he doing?” He asked you, giving you a comforting smile.

“Good, Connor’s with him being his overcautious self,” you chuckled, “but he’s okay,” Will looked glad as he took your space in front of the machine to grab a snack.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He finally spoke up, and you got it, it was strange that you’d been at this hospital nearly a week and not told anyone you were married to one of the surgeons in the same hospital, a surgeon they all knew.

“I wanted to be judged by my own merit at the hospital,” you replied honestly, “not on who my husband is.” At your last hospital... you’d met Connor in your final years of your residency, and you couldn’t count the number of looks and whispers that surrounded you every time he gave you a case or you did well at the hospital, like being with him meant you were being handed success or something. You hadn’t wanted that here, and Connor had thankfully understood.

Will contemplated that answer for a second before shrugging, “fair enough.” You were about to head back to Connor and James when you saw that there was something else he wanted to say, he thought for a second before continuing: “sorry, by the way... for hitting on you,” he said guiltily.

You blinked at him, realising Connor hadn’t been paranoid afterall. “You were hitting on me?” You asked him, a little shocked. 

“Why did you think I was asking you out for drinks?” He laughed and you shook your head, you’d been with Connor so long it hadn’t crossed your mind that anyone else would be interested.

“I don’t know, to be nice?” You guessed, unable to believe that you hadn’t seen it from the start. You couldn’t blame Will, he hadn’t even known you were married, let alone to Connor.

“Yeah well, honest mistake, sorry,” he apologised again, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Connor though,” he added and you laughed.

Telling Connor? Yeah, that wouldn’t go down well. “Already forgotten,” you told him and he look appreciative.

“Okay well, if you want to go to Molly’s as friends, I’d still like that,” he suggested and you smiled, “Connor can come too if he can stand my company,” he grinned.

“I’d like that,” you told him, glad that this hadn’t ruined your friendship with Will. Will grabbed his food from the vending machine as he got a message about a patient.

“Okay well, that’s me, glad your son’s okay Y/N,” he said sincerely, getting ready to head off down the hall.

“Thanks Will,” you replied, heading off back to Connor and James, laughing to yourself about the whole situation.

[curvynerdfan]

Never let me go

Happy x Reader

Requested by @isitmine I hope you like it hun! I’m sorry it took such a long time for me to complete! I added a lot more length to make up for it! School and work has been crazy but it was a lot of fun to write this and be creative!

Honorable tags: @justahopelessssromantic and @princessofthalia

Warnings: being hurt by a prospect, cursing, violent Happy, murder, a bit of gore

“Hey, didn’t Jax want y’all to meet up with Gemma? I thought she was getting her new furniture shipped in today.” Y/N asked.

“Why the fuck do you care?”, the prospect, Maggot, barked.

“Well, I was just hoping to see Happy soon.”, Y/N responded, confused on why he was being so rude.

“Oh! So you’re one of his bitches huh?”, he grumbled.

“No!”, she argued, “I am his old lady!”

Y/N couldn’t believe a prospect was being so disrespectful to an old lady. Let alone her! She didn’t think she was anything special but Happy was Sergeant-at-Arms and the terrifying Tacoma Killer and she was his pregnant wife. While thinking through the different possibilities of how to handle the situation, she felt a hand land on her neck.

Y/N was at the point where she thought she was going to pass out when she clawed out at his face. The first couple of swipes were misses, until she finally managed to dig her nails into him.The pain must of startled him enough because his grip began to slip. Y/N pulled away quickly and dropped to the ground. She was heaving and thought she might vomit.

“God dammit!” He shouted, bringing his hand up to his face only to see it covered in blood.

He started towards her again and picked up a broken beer bottle on the way.

“Think, about what you’re doing here Maggot,” Y/N kept pausing to breathe, “the club isn’t going to take this lightly”

“They don’t care about anyone but themselves! No one will miss a crow!” Maggot yelled, swiping at her with the broken bottle.

Y/N flinched and covered her stomach with her arms. She was barely showing right now, only in tight clothing but she still wasn’t going to let anything happen to her baby. Maggot missed the first time in his fit of rage but managed to catch Y/N’s left arm on the second swipe.

She began to scream in pain and shout for help, crying out for Happy or anyone else who may be nearby. Maggot swiped at Y/N again, but she luckily managed to knock the sharp glass out of his hand. This really pissed him off and before she could bring her arms up a hand collided with her face. Her head snapped to the side and when she brought a hand up to her face she realized she was crying.

Maggot appeared to have reached his wits end. His arm raised up into the air again and she began to pray to any diety that would listen. Screaming at the top of her lungs, hoping someone will hear her.

Jax looked up from the custom bike he was working on when he heard someone screaming like a banshee from within the clubhouse. He made eye contact with Opie and dropped his tools. Both brothers sprinted across the lot, worried for whoever was making that noise. They burst through the door and were enraged by what they saw.

Maggot was rearing back to hit her again, when he was suddenly jerked away from her. Opie had grabbed Maggot by his raised arm and dragged him away, surely dislocating the prospect’s shoulder.

Jax tried to console Y/N but she didn’t seem to recognize who he was. She was so overwhelmed with fear that she just curled in on herself. Jax believed she was still trying to protect her baby.

On his way towards the garage Opie ran into a frantic Gemma, “I heard screaming. What the hell is going on?”

“This piece of shit hurt Y/N!” Opie growled, throwing the prospect onto the concrete. “ Jax is in the clubhouse with her now. You should probably call Chibs, it didn’t look good.”

Gemma shook her head and stomped away and into the clubhouse. She had already dialed Chibs by the time she opened the door and gasped as he answered the phone.

“What’s wrong doll?” the irishman asked.

“It’s Y/N. Maggot hurt her pretty bad and we’re gonna need your help. How soon can you be here?” Gemma asked.

“Shite! I am grabbing my med bag now. I’ll be there in five.” He said and Gemma could here him scrambling to grab his stuff, “Put pressure on any bleeding and try to keep her from hyperventilating” he demanded as the motorcycle rumbled to life before he hung up on her.

Gemma ran to the kitchen and grabbed some towels before making her way to Y/N and her son. She pulled Jax away and told him to call Tig and Happy. Tig could organize everyone coming in for church so they could vote on Mr. Mayhem and Happy needed to be told what was going on. Jax flipped open his phone and walked to the bar to make the calls.

Gemma slowly moved further into Y/N’s line of sight and spoke in soft, dulcet tones, “Hey, baby. How about you let momma check on you, huh?” Gemma had helped raise Y/N with some other members of the community. Her family had bailed on her when she was sixteen and the town came together to help her. The club provided her with a dorm room and Gemma has been her mother figure ever since. “There’s a lot of blood sweetie…” Gemma grimaced, “Can you show me where it is coming from? You're safe now, your brothers and I are gonna take good care of you.”

“Happy?” Y/N whimpered, looking around.

“He’s on his way.” Jax cut in, walking up behind Gemma and putting a hand on his mom’s back.

“I want Happy!” Y/N whined again pitifully.

“I know sweetheart. She’ll be here soon. How about you let Ma look at your arm huh? Get you cleaned up some before Happy gets here.” Jax asked, knowing it would coax her into letting Gemma touch her.

“Okay... “ Y/N said and slowly uncurled.

When Y/N released her arm, they both gasped. Gemma quickie covered her arm with one of the towels and applied pressure. There was a gash going up her arm. Starting on the outside of her wrist and wrapping its way past her elbow. Some of it was going to need stitches, judging on how deep it was.

Chibs came barrelling through the door and went straight to the bar sink to scrub his hands. He paced quickly over to the trio, still drying his hands.

“Hello dolly, can I have a look see?” Chibs spoke softly to her, noting that she seemed to have gone into shock. “Atta girl!” he commended, when she didn’t flinch when he moved to check her injuries.

She was beginning to develop a deep bruise on the right side of her face. It appeared that the hit had managed to fracture her cheek bone and she had earned a black eye from the mistreatment. He lightly prodded her neck making sure there was no damage to her trachea or esophagus and deemed that she would heal easily enough but be tender for the next week. When he went to press his palm to her stomach and check on the baby she locked her hand on his wrist, digging her nails into him. Her eyes began to fill with tears again as she shook her head with fear.

“Okay, okay darlin’. I’m not gonna hurt you or the baby. Just wanna check on them. Gemma, could you try to put your palm on her stomach? I wanna see if we can get a kick. That means we can skip the hospital… Maybe just have a house call for an ultrasound later?” Chibs tried to speak softly and hide his concern. It didn’t look like the bastard had been able to make contact with her small bump but he had to be sure.

Gemma slowly reached out and when Y/N made no move to stop her, placed the hand that wasn’t holding the towel to her adopted daughter’s stomach. She waited worryingly, hoping to feel the baby kick.

The clubhouse door slammed open again and a rumbling “Babygirl!” spewed frantically out of Happy’s mouth as he trekked across the clubhouse. Gemma sighed in relief when the baby shifted at the sound of their father’s voice and nodded at Chibs. Gemma slowly shifted away from Y/N and stood to stop Happy quickly.

“What are you doing, Gem? I gotta see her!” Happy growled, restraining himself from letting his anger unleash on the club mom.

“And you will see her. I just wanna make sure you’re gonna keep your head on straight. She is in shock if you come in all burly and pissed it won’t help her or the baby. Jax has already called a meeting and that shit will get what is coming to him, but right now you need to be here for Y/N.”, Gemma spoke quickly and with authority. “Now, if you can keep your cool, I am sure it would be a big help for you to sit with her and help Chibs.”

Happy nodded his head and stepped around Gemma. Quickly crouching to the ground to make sure Y/N could see him.

“Happy!” She let out in quiet relief.

He shook his head in attempts to subdue his anger, “Yeah babygirl! I’m here now. Hmm, let me take a look at you?”

She slowly turned her head as his hand caressed her chin and happily allowed him to press his palm to her stomach. The baby slowly kicked along his palm and he smiled in relief.

He turned to Chibs to ask what he needed to do. The irishman directed the Tacoma Killer to gently move his old lady to wear he was sitting against the wall behind her with her body cradled between his legs. Y/N tilted her head back to let it rest against her husband as he wrapped his arms around her. At Chibs instruction his right arm went around her shoulders, his left rested along her baby bump and bent his left knee so she couldn’t see her hurt arm.

“Alright, little pinch hun and then it shouldn’t hurt so bad, hmmm.” Chibs said.

He slowly unwrapped the arm and Y/N jolted when Happy growled in distaste. When she looked up at him to see what was wrong, he tilted his head down and nuzzled his nose against her unmarked cheek. Chibs quickly injected local anesthetic to multiple spots along the abrasion and waited several minutes before running a gloved finger along the injury. Y/N didn’t flinch in Happy’s arms and Chibs took that as a go ahead.

Chibs prepped his supplies and began to clean the gash of glass. Some shards had remained on the bottle when Maggot broke it and he wanted to make sure nothing was embedded when he began to suture. Y/N was slowly coming back to herself and tried to adjust to where she could see when she felt the tugging on her arm.

Happy easily distracted her with forehead kisses and talking through what was going on. He reassured her that something would be done about the prospect. When he mentioned that church was called, she shuddered and begged him not to leave. Happy consoled her to the best of his ability but nothing seemed to work. Jax overheard and let them know this was going to be the only exception of an old lady attending church. Chibs agreed saying that even though they knew Happy’s vote, he had a right to listen to everyone else’s. Plus Chibs was going to give Y/N’s nurse midwife, Tatum, a call as soon as he was done so he could give her pain medication. Y/N would probably sleep through the entire meeting anyways.

Chibs finished suturing her arm and told Happy to take her up to his dorm and help her shower. Happy agreed after Chibs explained that he should have an answer by then and could give her some medicine and wrap the sutures. Happy stood carefully before lifting Y/N into his arms.

He carried her up the stairs and sat her down on their bed. They had a house that was almost done being renovated and they decided to save money by moving back into the clubhouse for the time being. Happy was glad that they lived here, especially right now. He knew she was comfortable and everything was at his fingertips. He could easily lay them both out new clothes and get her comfort items.

“What do you wanna wear after your shower, babygirl?” Happy questioned, wanting to make sure she was comfortable.

Y/N shrugged but told him no when he went to open her loungewear drawer. She quickly directed him to his drawers with the point of her finger. He chuckled at her and pulled out one of her favorite shirts of his to sleep in. It was a faded grey t-shirt with Reaper Crew written in blue on the chest. He also grabbed her a pair of underwear, fuzzy socks and a pair of her sweatpants before quickly laying out new clothes for himself as well. He then scooped her up again and brought her to their bathroom. Y/N began to tear up again when Happy helped her take her shirt off, well his shirt off.

“No, no, no… don’t cry baby! I’m here now. What’s wrong?” Happy asked, concerned.

Y/N let out a whine, “I got blood on your shirt! It’s ruined!”

“Babygirl”, he couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re crying over my shirt? I can fix that one easy! Just need the hydrogen peroxide.” He calmed her, wiping away her tears.

“Really? How do you know that?” She looked up at him hopeful and then confused.

He shook his head at her cute little scrunched nose, “I’m the Tacoma Killer babe!”, he elated with his arms spread wide, “I would have a very empty closet if I threw away clothes everytime a little blood got on them.”

Y/N giggled. Sometimes she would forget her husband’s renown and think of him as her reserved, badass. Happy corralled her into the shower and quickly stripped so he could join her. He grabbed new washcloths, before joining his wife in the shower.

The couple used this time to check in and reassure each other. Both clinged to the other, gently washing away the blood and trauma of the day. Y/N rested her head on his chest while he shampooed her hair. She braced her hands on his waist tilting her head so he could rinse away the suds.

Happy grabbed her chin and she could feel his chest rumble against hers as he growled at the marks on her neck and face. He leaned down and rubbed his nose against her cheek. Y/N quickly stood on her tippy toes and brought her lips to his. Happy let out a groan before posessively attacking her lips with his. Y/N could tell he was reclaiming “his territory” and she wasn’t mad in the slightest. She gasped when his teeth tugged on her lip and he happily delved into her.

By the time the couple was done showering, both felt reassured in their bond and were clean of Y/N’s blood. They both quietly changed into clean clothes and Y/N let out a quiet groan when the pain in her arm began to make itself known again. As soon as she was dressed, Happy wrapped her up in her beloved blanket and handed the turtle stuffie to her before scooping her up again.

When they reentered the clubhouse, the mess had been cleaned and it looked like nothing had happened. Gemma walked up to the pair and handed Y/N a plate covered in some of her favorite snacks and told her that her babies had to eat before kissing her head and walking off. The plate was filled with cubed apple, cheddar cheese, some strawberries, dill pickles, a few chunks of pumpkin bread and a handful of chocolate covered pretzels.

Happy then carried her into church and sat down. He pulled his legs across his and braced her back with his right arm before sneaking away some of her chocolate pretzels. She began to grumble at him when Chibs approached the duo. He smiled at the two before passing Happy a bottle of pills and a bottle of water.

“She can take up to two every eight hours. Two will knock her out and one will just make her a little loopy.” He told Happy before turning to Y/N, “You can go ahead and take two now. I need to apply an antibiotic to the stitches and then wrap your arm, then I’ll leave you be darlin.”

“You’re never a bother Chibby.” Y/N stated before swallowing the pills Happy placed in the palm of her hand, “Thank you for taking care of me”. Y/N reached out and gave Chibs’ hand a squeeze before he began to wrap her arm.

“Tatum will come by tomorrow morning for a check up on you and the baby. She assures me that we handled everything correctly and that the medication will have no ill effects on you or the baby. She wanted me to remind you to hydrate and let others take care of you”, he said, giving her a knowing look. “I am staying here tonight, just in case. We will need to rebandage everyday and the stitches should be able to come out in a week in a half or so.” Chibs informed them before pressing a kiss to Y/N’s palm and standing.

He walked out of the room and Y/N leaned further into Happy. She munched on the apple and cheese chunks and sipped on the water when Happy encouraged her to do so. She was about three quarters of the way through her plate when her head began to bob. Happy had to prod at her to keep eating what Gemma plated for her. After her head bobbed for the third time, Jax knocked on the door and stepped through.

He looked at Y/N softly and waited for Happy to nod “Let’s do this brother”

Slowly the rest of the patched club members filtered their way in. Jax took his seat, quickly followed by the rest of the main table. Jax slammed the gavel to start the meeting and smiled apologetically at Y/N when she jolted at the violent noise. Happy pushed the turtle plushie further into her arms and tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

Y/N let out a soft sigh of content and snuggled in, letting the medicine take full effect. She would jolt every once in a while when the guys allowed their anger to take control or raised their voices. The vote to indict Maggot to face Mr. Mayhem was unanimous but his sponsor decided to move charters before the vote. He didn’t feel right invoking Mayhem on his prospect but it was well deserved and the vote needed to be unanimous.

Within the hour, Happy was handing Y/N off to Gemma who was going to watch over her until the men were done. Jax normally would make the prospects stay with the women but he wanted them to see this. All of the crap that had happened was due to a prospect thinking he was the shit. Maggot forgot that the club is family and he certainly forgot the consequences that come with betrayal.

Jax easily approved of Happy killing Maggot in the same ways he hurt Y/N. He began by telling the man that the entire club voted for him to meet Mr. Mayhem and when the prospect had the audacity to try to spew more hate about Y/N Jax couldn’t control his anger. Completing one of the steps of the man’s death by driving his fist through his temple.

Maggot fell to the ground but didn’t stay there long. The prospect had enough wit to scramble backwards when Happy stalked towards him. The Tacoma Killer had a sick smile spreading across his face while stalking towards the piece of shit who hurt his wife. Happy wrapped his hands around Maggot's neck and lifting him into the air.

Maggot choked for breath and Happy laughed. The killer waited until it looked like Maggot was about to die and then released his neck. Maggot struggled to catch his breath and flinched when Opie busted a new beer bottle and handed it over to Happy.

“You thought we’d forget!” Jax yelled motioning for Tig and Half-Sack to pin the squirming Maggot down.

Happy dug the beer bottle into Maggot’s arm and when the disgrace began to wail Tig punched him again. Blood was flowing steadily from the gaping wound running towards the garage drains. Happy then went wild with the sharp glass, rapidly stabbing the man repeatedly until Opie pulled him off and knocked the bottle out of his hand.

Happy’s body shook with adrenaline and a growl worked his way up and out of his chest. The satisfaction of killing the bastard was battling his desire to drag it out. If he wasn’t itching to get back to Y/N and their unborn baby. He shook out the jitters and gladly accepted a work towel from Chibs. His clothes were a mess of blood.

Happy trekked across the lot and into the clubhouse before ripping off his clothes and shoving them into a bag. He hauled ass up the stairs in just his boxers. When he cracked open the door to his room, Gemma was sitting on his side of the bed reading a book and Y/N was curled around her plushie on top of the covers.

Gemma got off the bed, gave Happy a look and smiled when he nodded back. She pecked his cheek before heading out the door. Happy silently maneuvered through the dorm towards the shower. He rinsed his body until the water ran clear and then soaped up. Once out of the shower, he threw on clean boxers before nudging Y/N awake.

She squinted in annoyance until she realized it was him, “C’mon doll. Let’s get you ready for bed.” Happy encouraged, pulling her out of the bed and to the bathroom. He handed her a toothbrush and grabbed his, letting her lean on him sleepily while she slowly brushed her teeth. He motioned at the contact case once their teeth were clean.

Y/N was taking her contacts out when Happy asked “Music tonight?”

She bobbed her head in response, “Can you put on Florence and the Machine?”

He nodded, leaving the bathroom. Happy pulled for the fan, put the record Y/N requested on and pulled back the covers. He heard the toilet flush and looked up to see Y/N stumble back into their room. She toed out of her sweatpants and socks before snuggling under the covers up against Happy.

His arms went around her stomach and Y/N’s hands rested on top of his. He thumbed at the baby bump. It helped remind him that their baby was going to be okay and that Y/N was safe now. Y/N turned her head to nuzzle into Happy’s shoulder and breathed in his deep scent of cinnamon and sweet tobacco. Y/N dozed off to the sound of her murderous man’s heartbeat and “Never Let Me Go” playing in the background.