#i may have been dubbed the mom friend because of it

[you-have-been-frizzled]

let them stay up :(

✨NO✨

it’s my THING Avi

[chaifootsteps]

Hi Chai,

Since I know you are not a transmisogynist, what are some of your favorite transfem characters or characters you hc as transfem?

Btw this is the Malva anon again, I've been sending asks more than once but I realized I may be a regular asker now lol

GL with Bluesky

*Rubs hands eagerly*. Gladly! Let's talk about some ladies!

Rachel Bighead from Rocko's Modern Life

My friend and I were watching this in VC the other night and Rachel's probably my favorite example of how to "trans" a character, especially one that's been around for a long time, right. Nothing about it feels shoehorned or asspulled or like it was done to appease a board somewhere. Ralph's defining characteristic throughout Rocko's original run was being absolutely miserable all the time, no matter how much success in life he achieved, and so when we learn that he went off soul searching and discovered Rachel was the answer? It made perfect, beautiful sense.

Rachel's just...amazing. She's dry as ever, but unflappably confident. She's Ralph at perfect peace, and the journey we see the Bighead family go on? Bev's immediate acceptance, Ed's tearful epiphany that that little tadpole who damaged his retina is still right in front of him, and the three of them hugging? God, this part of the special was so good. Rachel's so good.

Also, I ship her with Rocko like whoa.

2. Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler

I freaking love Grell. She's absolutely nuts, has an awesome design and a kickass weapon, and was surprisingly poignant and not-meanspirited considering the time period the show came out in. I love how the English dub has her give a kind of orgasmic bird squawk every time something goes right for her. 10/10, would support every last one of her woman's wrongs.

(Incidentally, Grell's one of the reasons it annoys me when people call me transmysogynist based off my opinions on Arcee, because let me tell you, I did my tour of duty back during the Grell Wars.)

3. Jerry/Daphne from Some Like it Hot

First of all, this movie's amazing and if you haven't watched it and don't know the very famous ending, go remedy that right now. And then chase it with this fic. I'll wait.

I'm firmly in the camp that believes Jerry/Daphne is genderfluid, and holy cow, is this a lovely little story of self-discovery and falling in love. It's just so special to me. It makes me smile like a damn fool every single time.

4. Fem!Shep from Mass Effect

Okay, this one's kind of cheating because Shepards are customizable and can be anything you want, but I loved the idea from the get-go. That's in part because fem!Shep's model still moves like male!Shep, and it's especially noticeable when she sits, but it also just kind of feels fitting with a lot of the dialogue options. In conclusion, my Shepard was great and I need to replay that game with Legendary Edition because I miss her deeply.

5. Maevaris Tilani from Dragon Age

Mae's wonderful on so many levels and she's a character I'm very excited to meet face-to-face in Veilguard. She's stunning, an absolute powerhouse, she's good friends with my my beloved Dorian, and her relationship with her late chubs hubby was beautiful. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be romanceable, but if she was, I think my Rook would be doomed.

6. Hana from Tokyo Godfathers

This movie's a treasure and so is Hana. I like that she's old, she's stubbly, she doesn't pass flawlessly, but by god, if anyone deserves to be a mom, it's her.

7. Angel from Rent

Another genderfluid character! At least, that's my best guess. I've always loved that we have no fucking clue exactly what flavor of genderqueer Angel is, that not even the cast seems unanimous on it.

I loved Rent when I was younger, thought it was so deep and profound, and it's kinda not but Angel was easily my favorite character. Still is.

8. The Laughing Cow and the Lactaid Cow

They're cows that don't have udders and they're gay and in love, I don't make the rules.

9. Anode and Lug

Transfem lesbian bots from RiD's (the comic run IDW Arcee is from) much more competently written sister series, they're a demonstration of how to do it right. I like that one transitioned medically and the other didn't. Anode features very prominently in my Arcee fix-it fic and I grew very attached to her while writing it.

10. Marco from Star vs. the Forces of Evil

I'm gonna level with you, I never actually watched this show. But I was very invested in this one back in the day and disappointed when it never came true.

Honorable mention: Art the Clown from Terrifier

While I don't exactly headcanon Art as transfem, there's a fic on ao3 that explored the idea and I kind of dug it. I could see Art much younger, with many possible futures laid out, and that being one of them. I think if something fundamental hadn't broken in his soul/brain, he would have been either trans or a fruity old drag queen, happy as a clam.

Mind you, this is all fanon talk. My jaw would hit the floor with horror if this became canon and Art would go straight on the pile of characters I get yelled at for "misgendering" because if I refuse to swallow rotten food.

[katbakubae]

Part 2

→Part 1

NSFW Dabixchubbyfem!Reader (she/her used as opposed to you)

Tags may or may not apply to this part. I’m adding all tags for the whole story. If it’s not in the story yet, it will be.

CW: Smoking, language, reader is quirkless, smut, dry humping, death threat, desperate reader, readers parent is verbally/emotionally abusive, blood, titjob, rough sex, dub-con, non-con elements, 18+, arson, obsessive behavior, stalking, mental health issues, murder, gore, alcohol, breeding kink, oral (both), vaginal penetration, praise, degradation, dacryphilia, slight age-gap (6 years. Reader is 18 and Dabi is 24.)

Words: 4.8k

Why the fuck did he tell that damn girl “maybe”?

Dabi rubbed his forehead as he walked towards the league's hideout.

Furthermore, why did he even walk her home or enter her fucking house? Normally, he would have just left. If he had went in, it would have only been to fuck her, then leave and never see her again. But no, he drank her fucking tea and then told her maybe she’d see him again.

Fuck.

He didn’t need to see that damn girl again. He didn’t know what…this was, but he wasn’t doing it. He had too much shit to do and accomplish.

He couldn’t afford any distractions.

—————————————————————————

Months.

It had been two months since she’d seen Dabi. School had ended, and she was currently working a summer job at a cafe before starting college in the fall. It was embarrassing, but she found herself in the alley at her old school on multiple occasions. Every week, she’d pop in where she’d met Dabi, but he was never there.

Part of her wondered if she’d done or said something wrong, but she felt like she didn’t. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but she felt as though this had very little to do with her, and everything to do with him. She didn’t think he was someone that let anyone close to him in any capacity. She just…couldn’t picture it.

Not that she knew him anyways. Hell, ‘Dabi’ probably wasn’t even his real name.

She needed to forget about him. It just seemed…impossible. There was something about him that she couldn’t shake. He had gotten to her…was it his mystery? His sarcastic smirks? His indifference to the fact she’s quirkless?

“I’m going to shower and go to bed,” her mother announced, making her pull herself from her thoughts. “Finish cleaning the kitchen and go to bed. Remember, I’m having company over this weekend, so I expect you to remain in your room. Make sure you have enough food in there,” her mother said testily, her eyes roving over her overweight frame with contempt. “But I’m sure you’ll make sure of that.”

She said nothing back, shame curling in her stomach as she finished wiping down the counter and her mother went to her room. She vaguely heard her get in the shower, her eyes widening when she heard two sharp knocks on their door.

She frowned, looking at the clock. It was 10 pm and she was in pajamas. They never had visitors. She had no real friends because she was quirkless, and her mother was too unpleasant to have friends. All she had was ‘boyfriends’ over, making her stay in her room because she was embarrassed of her quirkless, overweight daughter.

Feeling a little nervous, she padded quietly over to the door in her slippers, silently looking through the peephole. Her pulse immediately went wild when she saw a familiar black mop of spiky hair and black jacket. She couldn’t see his face, as his head was hanging down.

Without a thought, she flipped the lock, thankful that her mom didn’t hear the knock as she ripped the door open.

She gasped in shock when she saw he was actually leaning heavily on her door frame, blood seeping through his white shirt. He slowly looked up at her, her breath catching when she saw more blood seeping from the staples on his face. Though he must be in pain, his expression didn’t show it. The only thing that gave his distress away was his slightly labored breathing through his parted lips.

“Do you have antiseptic?” He grunted out, making her swallow thickly as she looked behind her, hearing the shower still running.

“Dabi…” she whispered, moving to the side and ushering him in. He pushed off the door frame and walked in as she gently shut the front door. “My mother is here. You have to be quiet,” she whispered, seeing him cock a brow in amusement but gave a small nod of acknowledgement.

She tiptoed down the hallway and up the stairs with Dabi, who was surprisingly a quiet walker. She reached her bedroom, ushering him inside and gently closing the door and locking it.

Her heart was erratic as she turned to see him observing her bedroom with a cocked brow, making her feel a little embarrassed of the fairy lights and squishy animals around and on her bed.

“Yeah, this seems about right,” he chuckled darkly, turning and sitting on the end of her lavender bedding. He put one elbow on his thigh and his palm on the other, looking up at her with a small smirk as though he wasn’t in pain at all. “So, what about the antiseptic?” He asked, his cobalt eyes looking over her tank top and shorts that were covered in hello kitty print.

Her face heated, and she nodded, scurrying to her bathroom and getting supplies out of her medicine cabinet. She came back in the room, laying the supplies next to him and picking up some pads and antiseptic. She paused, almost dropping the items when he shrugged his jacket off, revealing his corded and scarred arms.

Her fingers trembled as he grabbed the back of his shirt at the neck, pulling it over his head. She sharply inhaled.

Dear god, he was ripped.

She swallowed thickly as she saw his muscular shoulders, chest and a glimpse of his strong back when he bent to remove his shirt. There was healthy skin and burnt skin attached with staples just like his face and wrists. His waist was tapered, and she could clearly see his six pack. He wasn’t nearly as slight as he initially seemed.

He definitely spent a lot of time building muscle. She felt speechless when he picked up the band aids next to him, observing them for a brief moment before tossing them to the side with a snort.

“Don’t tell me, they’re hello kitty band aids?” He asked in a sarcastic tone, bringing his gaze up to her and trailing his intense eyes over her pajama set. They flashed when he saw her deer in headlights look, a small smirk curling his lips.

“Puppies, actually…” she whispered, making him give her a bored look, then roll his eyes.

“You’ve never had a man in your room before, huh?” He asked, leaning on his knees as his wounds on his chest leaked between the staples, making her shake her head dismissively and spring into action. She didn’t really like the idea of blood on her carpet.

Her mom would freak.

She walked up to him, biting her lip nervously when he immediately sat up and spread his legs more.

Her hands were shaking and she was unable to look at him as she stepped between his thighs, tension traveling up her back. She wet the gauze with the antiseptic, flushing when her eyes met his the moment she looked at him. He was watching her movements carefully, his azure gaze intense as she reached out and began cleaning the bleeding places on his chest.

If it hurt, he didn’t show it. He didn’t flinch as she lightly cleaned the wounds, trying to be gentle.

“What happened?” She whispered, moving to the wounds under his eyes. She tried not to look directly into his eyes as she worked, even though she could feel them boring into her.

He was quiet for moments. “Used my quirk a bit too long,” he answered in a low voice, not offering her any more details.

She frowned, but she wasn’t an idiot. She’d seen his fire quirk, and she’d clearly seen all the burns. It was obvious that his quirk was incompatible with his body. Part of her wondered why he used his quirk if it hurt him, but she knew that question would likely lead him out of her door and life. She’d heard of that happening with quirks before, but hadn’t seen it. Perhaps that’s what he meant by saying there were worse things than being quirkless.

Like if your super powerful quirk burned up your body…

“I’m sorry…” she trailed off, feeling his burning gaze as she cleaned under his eyes. He didn’t acknowledge her apology, but she never expected him to. She was trying to breathe softly, and a surprisingly pleasant smell entered her nose.

He smelled like fire and leather with just a touch of cigarettes. It wasn’t unpleasant. In a weird way, she liked it. It was very…masculine. Dangerous. Enthralling.

“What made you come to me?” She asked, stepping back and throwing the bloody gauze in the bin, grabbing some bandages for his chest. She stepped back between his thighs and began gently covering the torn areas around his staples.

He was quiet for a bit, but to her surprise, he finally answered. “I don’t know,” he said gruffly, “jus’ ended up here, I guess.”

She had to bite back a smile. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again,” she admitted, her face heating as she glanced up to his glowing gaze. His pierced nostrils flared for a second, his heated gaze moving over her face and making her breath catch as she swallowed thickly, her heart hammering at the tension she felt in the room. Did he feel it too? It felt suffocating, and she’d never felt anything like it before…

“You weren’t going to,” he replied in a low voice, barely moving his lips. It didn’t really surprise her, but hearing him admit that he had planned on never seeing again left a slight hurt in her chest. However, she was use to it. No one wanted to be around her…

She nodded, sighing softly. “It’s okay, I…I’m used to it,” she whispered, stepping back from him, halting when a burning hot hand closed around her forearm, keeping her between his legs.

Her eyes widened in shock that he actually touched her, quickly moving to look at his face. His brows were furrowed in irritation, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“What does that mean?” He asked in a low, deep voice, his eyes squinting.

“I…” she shook her head, feeling embarrassed. “I’m used to…being ignored,” she admitted, looking down at her feet as his grip tightened slightly on her forearm, “people don’t want to be around me when they find out I’m quirkless. It seems like nothing else matters…”

“This society is broken,” he responded immediately, in a dark voice, “you being quirkless is irrelevant to me.”

She chuckled bitterly, but she couldn’t help but to agree that society was broken. “So you just didn’t like me as a person? Thanks, I feel loads better now,” she said dryly, tugging her forearm slightly as she looked at his large hand holding it. It felt rough over her soft skin.

He didn’t let go.

“Just stop it,” he answered, his gravelly voice sounding slightly irritated. “You don’t know anything about me or what I think.”

“I think you’re lonely,” she snapped, looking up at his neutral face with a frown. “I’d bet you don’t have a single damn friend, do you? Why else would you come to me? No friends and no family. Maybe that’s why I like you – you’re no different than me.”

She knew she struck a nerve when his eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of family and friends. Her breathing was slightly labored as he was completely still, staring at her through hooded, dangerous eyes. His expression didn’t change, and perhaps it was meant to unnerve her…because it worked.

“I-“ her words were cut off as he suddenly stood, grabbing her other arm and easily throwing her on her back on her bed. She bounced slightly, eyes wide with a little yelp of surprise when he was suddenly over her. His knees were on either side of one thigh, his hands next to her head as she stared up at him in surprise.

His nostrils flared as he looked over her frame, making chill bumps rise on her skin as her stomach warmed with excitement. Was she really this sick?

“You must know I’m dangerous,” he said in a low voice, tilting his head down. “But yet you still want to see me; why?” His eyes took on a more hooded look, “are you the type that touches the flames after you’ve been told it’s hot because you have to experience everything for yourself?” He asked in a quiet voice as she stared, stunned at how much he was speaking. “Do you want me to give you a lesson on playing with fire and how badly it can burn?” He hissed in a low, guttural tone.

She gasped when his hand came down and curled on her hip, squeezing and rubbing his thumb under her tank top to feel her skin. His eyes were burning as he ran his hand up from her hip to her rib cage, slowly pushing her shirt up in the process. His bright eyes blazed down at her in what she now recognized as lust.

He…wanted her? She could admit to herself that she wanted him, but it felt like a stupid crush that was unachievable. It didn’t even occur to her that there was a possibility he could have been attracted to her.

Her lips parted as he lowered his body, her breath catching as she unconsciously parted her thighs for him. He easily slipped between them, eyes flashing in mild surprise at her willingness as she gasped in anticipation when his lower body hovered above hers.

He felt…good. Forbidden. Her stomach was twisting with desire as she slanted her hips up slightly, unconsciously trying to press herself against him. His mismatched lips parted, his pupils expanding as he fully lowered his lower body against her. Her breath came out in a rush when she felt a firm bulge press between her legs. A low moan left her lips as her clit throbbed, thankful for the pressure as his jaw tensed.

“Hmmm…so responsive to me,” he said in a guttural voice, sliding his hand from her rib cage to her breast. She gasped when he squeezed her flesh from underneath, then sliding his fingers across her hardening nipple. He closed his eyes for moments and began rocking his hips against her.

“Fuck…” he whispered, his eyes snapping open as he leaned down, pressing into her chest as he buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply. He kept his chest up just enough to palm at her breasts with his hand, groaning deeply in her neck.

“So fuckin’ pretty. So sweet…so soft,” he panted harshly against her throat, her back arching into him as he began grinding his hips into her in earnest, building her pleasure as his jeans rubbed roughly against her thinly covered center. “Want me to fuck you, huh?” He asked huskily, her body trembling when she felt his teeth bite down lightly on her pulse point.

Gods. She wanted to scream her consent, but in the back of her lust-riddled mind, she knew they weren’t alone.

“My…my mother w-will hear,” she gasped out, terrified. She knew that if she caught a man in her room, she’d throw her out and she had nowhere to go. She felt like her mother was just looking for a reason to be rid of her.

She bit her lip as he lustfully rolled his hips into her, her thoughts coming to a halt as the coil tightened in her stomach as he pinched and pulled at her sensitive nipples.

“I’ll kill her if you want.”

Her eyes flew open at his quiet, dark words, feeling his tongue run up her neck as he tasted her skin. Warning bells were screaming in her mind, but she hated herself when she throbbed between her legs, pushing up into him desperately.

Someone willing to kill for you was high she didn’t know existed.

His teeth grazed her earlobe, his hot breath rushing over her ear as he rocked into her center relentlessly. She couldn’t stop the pressure from building rapidly as he panted hotly in her ear. Knowing he was enjoying her body, squeezing her breasts hungrily and rubbing his hard cock against her touched-starved body was too much for her to hold on.

“Dabi!” she lowly gasped and bit her lip to stop the cry bubbling in her throat. The coil inside her snapped harshly as she tried to fight it unsuccessfully. She arched up into him as waves of pleasure crashed over her skin, taking her breath away. She came hard underneath him, her body jerking as small whimpers sounded in her throat.

He groaned, squeezing her breast as he lifted his head up, looking over her face as it twisted in pleasure.

“You just came from dry humping?” He asked in a low, amused tone that was still thick with lust. Her face flushed in embarrassment as she breathed heavily, looking up at his intense face bashfully as his pierced tongue swiped his lower lip hungrily. “My, how slutty,” he purred darkly with pleasure, his scarred face and hooded eyes making her swallow thickly as he looked down to her breasts, curling his hand on her shirt and yanking it up, causing them to spill out to his hungry eyes. She gasped in more embarrassment, her hands leaving the bedding she was clutching as she reached up instinctively to cover herself.

He immediately growled, grabbing her wrists and slamming them next to her head on the bed as he hungrily looked over her skin.

“Now, now, don’t be rude,” he said in a low voice, leaning his head down and making her gasp when he flicked a pierced tongue over her hardened nipple. “I’m going to cum too. That’s only fair, doll,” He breathed against her nipple, looking up at her before covering the hardened bud with his hot, wet mouth. She moaned as he licked and bit her sensitive skin, sending jolts of pleasure down her body.

Her mouth opened and closed helplessly as sensations wracked her body. He was looking up at her hungrily, looking as though he was really getting off on tonguing and sucking her nipples. She sharply inhaled when his teeth clamped down, tugging slightly before letting her nipple go as she breathed heavily.

“Damn,” he groaned in a low voice, hungrily moving his mouth to her other breast and flicking his tongue over the bud. “Perfect tits…” he murmured against her skin, groaning against her breast as her fists tightened in his hold, trying to shove down the desire curling once again in her stomach from his actions.

“Mmm, if I let go, are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He purred darkly as he lifted his head, licking his lips. “I promise I won’t fuck you unless you beg me to,” he said lowly as she bit her lip in thought. He…she’d came and well…she really wanted to see him and make him feel good.

She nodded her head, seeing a smirk curl his lips as he let her wrists go. He set up on his knees, her eyes watching his every move. There was a sizable bulge behind his jeans as he unzipped them. He didn’t seem to be shy at all as he shoved them and his boxers down his thighs, causing his large cock to spring free.

…Well, no wonder he wasn’t shy.

She swallowed thickly. His cock was huge and heavy-looking. The underside of his thick shaft had four barbell piercings up to the flushed tip that was leaking copious amounts of precum. He had multiple veins bulging along his rock hard shaft, her eyes widening and feeling surprised at how hard he was from her.

He groaned, wrapping a hand around the thick, veiny member and pumping it once.

“See how fucking hard I am?” He hissed, clenching his jaw as she openly stared at the large appendage that looked hard as steel. “See how bad my cock wants to breed that little pussy of yours?” He asked in a deep voice that sounded like a growl.

She was speechless at his words when he moved his knees back. He looked down at her small shorts, hissing under his breath when he saw the large, wet patch on them.

She let out a choked moan when he immediately brought his spare hand up, rubbing his thumb against the wet patch where her clit was. Her hips jerked underneath him as pleasure shot like lightning from his touch.

His eyes fluttered at the feel of her heat through her shorts. “Fuck – I need to cum before I fuck your brains out,” he hissed, his cock bobbing as he crawled up her body. “Push those fucking tits together.” He ordered, his hand lazily stroking his cock as he watched her fumble to press her breasts together.

“L-like that?” She stuttered, holding her breasts at the sides and pressing them together. Her heart was racing in excitement as he nodded, his breath ragged. “Jus’ like that – good girl,” he praised in a deep tone, making her slightly preen at the praise. He moved up and shoved his cock harshly between her breasts. She gasped when he spit on her chest, his saliva and copious amounts of precum creating a smooth glide as he began to pump his hips, fucking her tits with a guttural moan. He hungrily watched his cock glide between her soft globes.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” he groaned, his hands reaching to grip her breasts and squeeze them as he fucked into them at a steady pace. His action essentially rendered her holding them useless as he watched intently, his breath leaving him in harsh pants. He pinched her nipples harshly, making her squeal in pain and pleasure, scissoring her legs for friction as his thrusts got more aggressive. “Fuck, I’m already close— shit,” she couldn’t take her eyes off his panting, scarred body. Maybe it was her imagination, but she swore she saw the undamaged parts of his cheeks flush. His lips were parted, and his blazing eyes were alternating between looking at her face and his cock shoving through her squashed breasts.

His chest heaved and she continued staring with big eyes, mesmerized at the dark lust and passion that was showing on the always stoic man’s face. His strong, scarred body was a sight to behold. His abs and arms flexed with every rut of his hips – the tops of his thighs visible above his shoved down pants. They looked tense with restraint. Her core was throbbing, his surprising passion and strong body turning her on fiercely.

He was gorgeous.

“Fuck!” He hissed, making her jump when he ripped himself from her breasts and began jerking on his cock roughly. She watched heatedly as his hand moved quickly, and in a few pumps he moaned deeply, his eyes fluttering, his cock jerking and pulsing in his hand. Hot ropes of white cum shot out, landing on her breasts as he watched hungrily, rubbing the tip of his leaking cock on her cum-covered nipple and spreading it around. His body trembled in pleasure as he panted heavily, moving and falling heavily on his back next to her. She watched quietly as he tucked his softening member back in his pants, appearing like he was trying to catch his breath.

She swallowed, looking down to her cum covered breasts and biting her lip at how much he’d come. Her chest was covered. Her mind couldn’t process what happened, and the fact he offered to kill her mom.

She moved her stare to the ceiling, swallowing thickly and trying to quell the desire that had built inside her. Though she’d already came, his antics had pushed her back to being overwhelmed with lust.

A black phone suddenly entered her vision, her eyes widening as the flash hit her eyes, the unmistakable sound of a shutter from the camera.

“Dabi!” She hissed, jerking her head over to him to look at him in horror as he smirked at the picture. His blue gaze moved over to her, turning his phone to show her the picture.

Heat bombarded her face as she clearly saw his cum all over her tits and her wide-eyed expression.

“It’s almost like you posed,” he chuckled lowly, locking his phone and shoving it in his pocket. “That’ll be useful later.”

She frowned, tilting her head. “Useful later?” She squeaked, her mind immediately going to the idea that he could blackmail her with that picture if she told anyone or something.

He chuckled, shaking his head. “A good visual can really help a guy out,” realization dawned on her as her mouth dropped slightly in shock.

“Or you could just, I don’t know, see me?” She suggested, glancing at him as he pushed himself to a sitting position. She looked over his strong back for moments, pushing herself to her elbows when he stood and walked towards the bathroom, not answering her and making her sigh and fall back down on the bed.

Who was she kidding? He didn’t actually like her. For fucks sake, he hadn’t even kissed her; he just moved straight to dry humping and tit-fucking. He just wanted to get off, and she was a willing participant. She tried to keep fooling herself, and maybe she was just young and naïve, but she knew she liked Dabi.

She liked someone that wouldn’t hardly give her the time a day; someone who she likely didn’t even know his real name. Was she this lonely? This desperate?

When he walked stoically out of the bathroom, his jeans riding low on his tapered waist and showing her his v lines, she automatically decided she was.

He was carrying a cloth and tossed it to her. She caught the warm, damp cloth, glancing up at him.

“Clean yourself off,” he said gruffly, snatching his shirt off her bed and throwing it on, blood stain and all. His stoic demeanor was back, and it was so confusing that she began to wonder if he enjoyed himself as much as she thought he had.

She hastily began cleaning her breasts off. Not missing the fact his cobalt eyes would glance over to watch as he shrugged his long coat back on.

“Thanks for the antiseptic and the nut,” he smirked, her face heating as he turned and starting walking towards her bedroom door.

“Wait!” She blurted, seeing him pause and slowly turn as she pulled her top over her breasts and stood up. His stoic expression was back as he looked at her, seemingly bored as he waited for her to speak.

She twisted her hands, swallowing thickly. “Are-are you ever coming back…?” She trailed off, her heart hammering in fear of his answer as his jaw tightened. He continued to stare at her, his blue gaze flashing with all the thoughts she could see running through his head.

“Probably,” he said finally, his tone low, “if I say I won’t, I know it’s likely a lie like before. You’ll probably see me again,” he huffed, as though he was irritated with himself. “But you need to know I’m a busy man. I don’t mind your company, but I won’t have feelings for you, so if you’re harboring some kind of…affection,” he almost spat the word, making her cringe, “then I suggest you let that go. You won’t see me often and one day, I’ll leave and never come back.” He said resolutely, his tone firm and assured as her heart pounded and eyes widened.

“Can you handle that?”

She blinked, his question ringing in her mind. This shit has ‘heartbreak’ written all over it. She was probably crazy, but telling him to never come back just…wasn’t an option. She was a damn fool, and she knew it, but she couldn’t do it. However much he ended up hurting her, it could never hurt worse than her everyday life just…being her. Being quirkless. Being ignored. Being made fun of. Being a loser. Being unwanted.

Dabi, as broken as he was, seemed to want her to some degree, and he liked her company. Not to mention, she liked him too. He made her feel good – well, he made her feel bad, too. But the truth is that the brief moments with him were the best she felt in years.

Consequences be damned.

She slowly nodded, seeing his brow quirk in disbelief. She tried to keep her expression as sure as possible, worried he’d change his mind.

“If you say so,” he replied lazily, his eyes glinting as he pulled out his cell phone. “Give me your number. I’ll let you know when I can see you.”

She quickly gave him her number, watching him type it in and pocket his phone.

“Erm,” she interrupted when he opened her door. “Please be super quiet, my mom-“

“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry, doll. No one sees me unless I want them to,” he smirked at her, her heart lifting at the name he’s seemingly designated for her.

She watched him leave and though she knew her mom was likely sleeping with Prince Valium, she felt a small spark of worry that she’d somehow catch him.

She relaxed after a few minutes, pulling her phone off the nightstand and sighing. It wasn’t lost on her that he didn’t give her his number.

Of course he didn’t.

Tagged requests: @xyncoxox @harleys1nhawaii @mysideeffectsofyou @beccalovescats @littlemissie

I think that’s everyone that requested a tag! 🖤

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Taichi Yagami | Yamato Ishida | Sora Takenouchi | Koushirou Izumi | Mimi Tachikawa | Jyou Kidou | Takeru Takaishi | Hikari Yagami | Daisuke Motomiya | Miyako Inoue | Iori Hida | Ken Ichijouji

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

The first Adventure season is very adamant about making sure that the viewer identifies Sora as the "mom/big sister" friend of the group. This becomes mostly apparent when she is consistently protecting and/or taking care of Mimi and Hikari - but also Takeru. As I had pointed out in the post about the family angle between Sora, Yamato and Takeru, the latter functions as a bridge between the broken family dynamics they all appear to have at this point. Since Takeru is the youngest member of the group for the majority of the season, he is the most vocal about Sora basically being a motherly figure - which is even more blatantly stated in the English dub version where he straight up tells her that he doesn't "miss his mom so much" when she is around. And it makes sense that he perceives her that way, considering how she took everyone under their wing, including him, functioning as the voice of reason to prevent the others from fighting - especially when his brother is involved -, supporting them in the back however she could. And since Sora herself is struggling with her own sense of obligation, questioning her intentions and ability to love - is it really surprising that, the moment someone like Takeru finally reassures her, tells her that he likes her and doesn't want her to disappear, she immediately stops crying? Finding her composure again, regaining her positive outlook?

Both Sora and Takeru need validation, this becomes quite clear and is an ongoing theme between them through the course of Adventure - there is a reason why Takeru immediately becomes more serious and determined once Sora (and Taichi too) tells him to take care of and protect Hikari. He craves to be needed, he doesn't want to be a burden and actually being trusted by someone like Sora (and Taichi, again!), someone he greatly admires, is a huge boost for him. Maybe even the central motivation he needed (aside from Yamato's reassurance) to not give up, to "fulfill his responsibility", on his way to let Angemon evolve to HolyAngemon. Just like Takeru's words may have been a little stepping stone for Sora to activate her own Crest as well...

After Adventure, there aren't a lot of visible cues that indicate the same/a bigger level of closeness between these two (even taking into account that Sora and Yamato had been dating through the course of 02), but there are little tidbits here and there that do indicate care between them. It's when Takeru protects her from a Snimon attack in 02 (once again showing that he is responsible and protective!), it's when Sora calls him to ask whether he is okay in Tri (still showing off her caring attitude towards him!)...

One might argue that all of these framings are entirely familial, since there is so much focus on the family angle, especially when you keep the age gap of three years between them in mind. However, the reason why I chose the screenshot(s) above may indicate another meaning after all... Because similarly to my previous Daiora analysis, people tend to mainly focus on Sora's romantic potential with Taichi and Yamato - even though there may be other candidates who are potentially just as - if not more - emotionally compatible with her...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

A famous callback Tri pulled on Adventure is the awkward silence between Sora, Taichi and Yamato in the fourth movie - mirroring the scene in which Sora runs away from the group, unable to tell them why she wanted to be by herself and why she considers herself "unable to love". In Tri, both Taichi and Yamato are at a loss, they have no idea how to deal with her. When they were still kids, all it took was for Takeru to approach her, thank, reassure and tell her that he "likes" her - which is probably why Yamato's instinct as a teenager at this point seems to be the following: "Shall we ask Takeru?"

Takeru, as opposed to his big band leader brother, has a so called "ladies-man-persona" in Tri, he's got a reputation of having dated several girls and appears to be very friendly with Meiko, much to Hikari's jealousy amusement. However, romance is not Tri's strongest feat - and just like we never learn whether or not Jyou's girlfriend is real, we also don't know what exactly Takeru has been doing all this time. He's famous for wearing a mask consisting of smiles and one may or may not be worried about him developing unhealthy dating habits that never result in long-lasting relationships....... OR we stop assuming the worst and take things at face value for once: Takeru Takaishi is a very kind person at heart, and even if he hides behind a mask, has a very big soft spot for reassuring girls around him.

Do you know who also has a soft spot for reassuring others while hiding their feelings behind a mask at times? Sora Takenouchi. They are both incredibly observant of the people around them and very keen to put them at ease, mostly through words - and just like we have seen above, they NEED that kind of validation. It's why Takeru notices that Sora got a new haircut and points it out to her, whereas his brother hadn't seen it at all. It's why Takeru tries to keep track on everything that is happening, not only because he's on his way to become a novelist, but because he cares and even if he probably still can't be honest about his own feelings - he knows that it doesn't hurt to notice and compliment others, he knows that he can make others feel good by being kind like that. Just like Sora is proooobably aware that her caring nature may not be the healthiest self-care approach, but at least puts smiles on everybody else's faces.

Again, this may not sound like the most stable foundation for a relationship, but I could actually see it working out for them. I'm not saying that I want them to "parent each other", but maybe together, they could reach a state where everything gets a little bit easier. Crying together, opening up to each other about how difficult it had been to always uphold that friendliness because they may have felt responsible, even if there were moments when they both would just have wanted to curse and scream... They both love their friends dearly, but may crave to allow themselves a shoulder to lean on. From someone who understands the struggles. I think it could be a great lesson for both of them as consenting adults, trying to live their own lives - having Sora tell Takeru that he doesn't always have to be the strong one to keep everyone together, that he is loved for who he is and that he won't be left again (because his abandonment issues may still be pretty strong). And simultaneously having Takeru tell Sora that she needs to look in the mirror to realize that she deserves to be loved for who she is as well (especially because her flight instinct might still be pretty strong). And that she deserves someone who actually TELLS her that...

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

I had thought about Takeru as analogy to Yamato before, simply because he is so much more vocal towards Sora. And while the age gap and mother angle may make things a little bit difficult and even though I had never thought too deeply about the romantic side of Sokeru... I can understand why they used to have their niche here on tumblr. Art of Takeru protecting Sora for once ("I am not a kid anymore!"), art of him letting loose in front of her... The appeal is definitely there and I am a big fan of mutually reassuring ships, so while I usually go for them platonically, I do have a bit of a fondness for their romantic potential now! So it would be nice to see how their relationship may pan out in canon in "the future".

[violetlunette]

So, this may be controversial but in the PnF universe, I think the Universe hates Candace the most. (Not taking into account MML as I haven’t been able to find a site to safely watch the whole series, and I ain’t paying 50$ for Disney Plus.)

(Edit: Okay, I may gotten the pricing wrong for disney plus as I was looking at the yearly option, but I digress.)

For those who may be unaware, Candace is a character in Phineas and Ferb who plays an antagonistic role as she is constantly trying to “bust” her brothers by showing her mom their inventions. Unfortunately, the “universe” (or the mysterious force, as Candace dubs it) will always make the inventions disappear at the very last moment. And usually in the most ridiculous ways possible such as it getting up and dancing away or having her eat or clean up the project herself (both times against her will). This has often led to Candace (and others) questioning her sanity and to her feeling emotionally depressed and defeated every day. Candace is quite literally the universe’s punching bag.

Now I’m people are going to argue and say, “Have you seen Doofenshmirtz’s backstory?” and yes, that is an excellent point. 

To recap Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the main villain of the series who fights with a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action, who happens to be the brother’s pet. Growing up he had a comically abusive childhood where he was bullied, his parents favored his brother and he was forced to stand as a Lawn Gnome every night. On top of that, he has a history of his love life going terribly wrong and gets his ass beat by a platypus daily. (Down, Perryshmirtz shippers.) Compared to the rest of the Phineas and Ferb cast it would seem that he and Candace are tied for having the worse luck, hell some would say he has worse luck than Candace.

However, I disagree as Heinz’s misfortune isn’t caused by random events like Candace’s. Everything bad that happened to him was a direct result of other people being jerks or caused by Heinz himself. (Minus his love life but we’ll get to that later.)

All of the humiliation of Heinz’s childhood was a result of his parents. The reason he was bullied to the point where his only friend was a balloon with a face on it was because his mother forced him to wear the dresses she made when she thought Roger was going to be a girl and because at night he was forced to stand watch as a lawn gnome by his father to protect the garden.

His failures with his inators are because Perry comes by and wrecks everything. 

Now it’s true that Candace had a loving childhood with a loving family and great friends. Yet I stand by the statement that the universe hates Candace the most in the PnF universe because the way Phineas and Ferb’s inventions vanish isn’t a result of anything she or anyone does. It’s a random act of fate. True, most of Phineas and Ferb’s vanish because of Heinz’s inators, however, he never intends to do. More often than not, he randomly bumps the button and it just so happens to hit Phineas and Ferb’s invention or Candace herself without any rhyme or reason.

Plus, there are times when Heinz wins and gets everything he wants without punishment.

The entire Across the 2D Dimension movie and the Quantum Boogaloo special show that Heinz could take over the Tristate area and get everything he wants. In the MML’s timeline, he becomes Professor Time, in The OWCA files he gets to become an agent and gets to work with Perry (something that appears to have always been his secret desire), and in Doof 101 (and Act your Age) timeline he becomes a teacher that allows him to bond with his daughter and is so happy that he has to make an inator to give him a midlife crisis.

With Candace, the best future she seems to get is a dull suburban life that’s a copy of her mother’s life. On top of that, despite appearing serene, one can argue that she’s not as content as she looks. It’s obvious she still holds deep resentments in her life as she immediately breaks out of her tranquil demeanor when she sees the past version of her brothers. If Candace was truly happy and had moved on, she wouldn’t have cared or reacted so strongly.

And whenever she gets her goals, it turns often out worse for her. In the Quantum Boogaloo special, Candace finally manages to bust her brothers and it results in a dystopian future, the loss of everything she loved and even her own name.

Even in other universes, Candace gets the short stick compared to Doofenshmirtz. In the 2nd Dimension Candace may be a rebel leader but it’s not until her brothers join the fight that they make any progress. Not only that, but they quickly begin to do better than her even though they literally just joined, and she had been fighting for much longer. It doesn’t help that by the end it seems that they’re better leaders than he.r Their actions led to them getting one up on Charlene and rescuing some of the agents, while Candace’s allowed Doofenshmirtz to escape.

In the Star Wars Universe, this Candace gets yanked pretty hard. Whether she was kidnapped or ran away to join the Empire, it is obvious she was brainwashed into believing their rhetoric. (Buford flat out states that orientation is brainwashing.) It’s hinted she grew up pretty lonely and is constantly disrespected by her superiors. Even though she does have serious talent, Candace is only allowed to do things like sock duty. But she puts up with it because she believes she’s doing her part. And in the end, she discovers that she’s been fighting for the bad guys and that she’s the villain. Doofenshmirtz isn’t much better here, but he can use the force and is recognized by the rebels to be enough of a threat to send one of their best agents to fight him, so at least he has some respect.

And here’s another thing that makes Candace’s pain feel less earned; she doesn’t do anything wrong.

Even though Heinz’s inventions vary on levels of danger they are usually used to humiliate, harm, or cause destruction. (Hell, some even kill.) The make-up-your-mind-inator is a good example of this as he was planning to use it on anyone that couldn’t make up their minds and destroy them. 

The reason varies but more often than not he’s doing something wrong, so you can argue his bad luck is karma. In the canon verse, Candace isn’t technically doing anything wrong. 

Yes, tattle-tailing is annoying as nobody likes a snitch but not only Phineas and Ferb are not only breaking the rules but they’re also placing themselves in danger. In the first episode, we see how reckless Phineas is in the first episode as he shows everyone how to use a seat belt as the coaster is climbing at a vertical angle up the tracks (and he doesn’t even put one on once he sits down). Another other example of this is with the Tower of Phineas which almost kills them. (And now is slowly killing everyone in the universe if it’s still doing that oxygen thing.)

Even when she’s not even trying to bust anyone, Candace is constantly yanked around by the universe. This is shown most clearly when she tries to get a Ducky Momo collectible;

It was something cute Candace wanted. She made deals for it, worked hard and no one would have been hurt if she got it it would have made everyone, even her, happy. Then when she is seconds from getting it, boom! The universe takes it at the last moment just to yank her chain.

A more prominent and remembered example is in “Candace Gets Busted” where she is pressured into having a party. She doesn’t even get to enjoy it as Candace spends the whole time keeping the house clean and protected. And even then, everyone is more interested in Phineas and Ferb. To top it all off, the universe gives Candace hope that it’ll let her get away with it like her brothers do all the time. Then at the last moment, for no reason, it sends the party back and gets her in trouble.

And the universe pulls that shit on her all the time. It gives her hope that she’ll reach her desires only to go “nope” at the last minute and ruin everything.

In the Temple of Juatchadoon, the Candace there isn’t even trying to get anyone in trouble; she just wants to report on Ohio and Rhode Island to share their adventures. If anything this would help the boys and make them more famous but because Candace is the one who wants to share their story, the universe goes out of its way to make sure that doesn’t happen.

The only thing where everything goes well for Candace--without Phineas and Ferb--is her relationship with Jeremy and Stacy. This is one of two things where Candace has better luck than Doofenshmirtz. (Though again on his part most of them are a result of incompatibility, him being rude, or karma. I don’t think any relationship was ruined because of a random act of fate. [Except with his date in evil love with whom I hope he gets together again.])

But even then, Stacy moves all the way to Uruguay in the future and with Candace’s luck, I find it very worrying that Jeremy is nowhere to be seen.

In conclusion;

While Heinz has had a sadder and harder life, the bad things that happen to him are usually a result of his actions or others. And even then, there are times when he succeeds and get what he wants. Heinz may have to work for it but we have seen several futures where he gets everything he wants and is happy (even when no one else is). On top of that in other universes, he usually has a position of power (however low it may seem), but not Candace.

In the best-case future scenario, Candace lives a reflection of her mom’s life where she still harbors past pain and resentments that are so strong that she was willing to put everything at stake to change the past. The fact that she’s willing to do this hints that she’s not as happy as she appears.

There’s also the fact that when she does get what she wants it usually comes with a heavier punishment. The biggest example is that whenever she busts her brothers, it ends with an apocalyptic future.

In other universes, Candace may get to show off her stuff more but she clearly isn’t happy and either finds herself in the wrong or quickly outshined.

And finally, there’s just how the universe likes to taunt her all the time. It waits until the very last minute to take away Phineas and Ferb’s inventions, or something she likes. (And in the most ridiculous ways too. Again, an invention literally just danced off one time.)

And there’s not even a reason for all of it; At least with Milo, we know it's because of Murphy’s Law. We can’t even say that her bad luck is because of the Phineas and Ferb effect because of the bad luck that happens away from Phineas and Ferb.

The only reason we have is the reason Candace always states; the universe is against her.

[cvbullshit]

Now that Yandere Dev is dead in the water and his game is as deep in the sand as he is.. I, a random person on the internet, vote that we as a community take the concept of Yandere Simulator and make it into something better!

Because the concept IS decent, just the execution needs work... A lot of work.

Everyone should have their own ideas for it so Imma say my vague concept that I probably won't ever bring up again.

For my new take on the concept, for one, almost all the main characters are actually going to be adults. It's stated that they already are but that's bullshit that Yandere Dev clearly used to justify some in game bullshit, they're in fucking high school, maybe one could be 18, but not fucking all of them.

Second, I might replace Ayano with some demonic or otherworldly being that's not exactly in love with Taro but heavily obsessive and interested in him, possessive even. Because honestly, while the point of the story IS a Yandere school girl, that topic has been milked to absolute death and is prone to get boring as hell. Plus, it's my idea to rewrite the story, I can take it as far as I damn want!

If Ayano is a demonic being in this, possibly Taro could be in this occult team/club/gang/cult so that way Ayano has REASON to be interested and connected to him.

Taro, in this rewrite, is a complex person. He's a nice guy, lives alone with and takes care of his 13 year old sister after his dad ditched them and he kiiiinnnda murdered his mom for the cult he's in and because he just disliked her. Yeah, Taro ain't no goodie two shoes bland mf now! He may be nice, treats his sister well, and partly believes he's a good person but he's in a cult, is willing to murder people who he thinks deserves it or anyone who threatens to find out about his crimes, and he supports cannibalism, under the right circumstances though. He still comes off as, and kinda is, a nice guy who wants to help people in any way he can, real protective of his friends and whom he dubs as innocent. He's got the mentality of wanting to see half the world burn and half the world blossom, he wants all those he thinks are bad or beyond helping to suffer while he wants the ones he believes are innocent to live happy and healthy lives.

Him and Ayano's dynamic is something I'm still thinking about honestly, as while rewriting the other characters is somehow easy, rewriting Ayano is just a pain for me somehow, it's hard to really rewrite anything about her and I don't know why. I may keep her emotionless thing going on though, not sure.

For Taro's sister, she's a slightly bratty newly teen, is very attached to her brother as he's the only family she has left but isn't overly affectionate with him, if anything, she's the most bratty with him. She doesn't expect too much from him and doesn't believe she can pout or whine to get her way but slightly does so to be petty and because Taro doesn't really react negatively to it... Yet. She has no idea what happened to her mom, just views her as missing, and has no idea Taro is in a cult. To her, she's got a normal life, despite her mom going missing and viewing her dad as the biggest jackass alive.

Taro and Osana's relationship and meeting is pretty different in this, Osana won't be Taro's childhood friend, I'll be giving that to someone else, instead Osana is a girl living in an apartment building, cooped up in her apartment and barely interacting with the outside world. After a stalking and obsessive situation she was the victim of, leading to the death of her cat, she swore she'd never trust the world again. Her apartment is a mess as she has no friends, she cut off her family, and she has no one to even talk to, she could technically be counted as a slob but at least she keeps herself clean. She hates the world and especially has issues with men.

When she meets with Taro for the first time, she wants absolutely nothing to do with him, constantly is mean to him, insults him, ect. Taro would've not dealt with her after their first interaction but learns what a state she's in from the apartment building owner and vows to try to help her and be kind to her. Why? Because he feels bad for her... And because he accidentally ran over a cat so he feels the need to feel better about himself, using the excuse of trying to prove to the world or some higher force that he can still be a good person. So...

I will leave it there! My ramblings went off the rails and this is only a concept that I have no idea I'll even touch on again.

[starfall-spirit]

Renaissance Masterlist

If you were offline yesterday, read Chapter V first.

The chapter title was taken from a Gary Allen song. Spice will arrive in chapter 7, promise.

Word Count: 979

Chapter VI: Every Storm Runs Out of Rain

 The night could not be more of a mess. But if spiraling about her developing feelings wasn’t bad enough, then the sky had to open on them, an unexpected summer storm chasing them into the shelter of the villa. “Ugh, I’m drenched! Rhys, no!”

She squealed, bolting for the other side of the room as he grinned ear to ear, shaking his head to fling water in every direction. That grin held as he ran a hand down his face, shaking more water free of his hand. Her eyes inevitably dipped lower, assessing how his thin button-down clung to the toned muscles she’d ignored well enough before then.

He cleared his throat, a light in his eyes and a smug smirk betraying any offense or irritation her staring may have caused. Proud bastard. She blushed hotly, pointedly turning down the hall and muttering something about dry pajamas. Maybe if she hid in her room she could just pretend nothing happened today. That she wasn’t—

No. She thought she was in love once. Look how that turned out. Tamlin had won her over just as easily. Now she was dealing with him stalking her.

She knew Rhys was arrogant at worst. She knew she’d never have to worry for her safety at the end of all this, but was she really ready to dive into something with another man infamous for sweet talking? How fast was she going to get her heart broken if she gave in? His father had called because Rhys had a reputation, after all. A proper marriage was the one thing Josiah wouldn’t interfere with.This was a long con. A game. She couldn’t get swept away in all of this. She couldn’t afford to. Even if things just ended up being sexual… Well, friends with benefits didn’t work so well for her. 

She took a deep breath. She could just lock herself in her room tonight. Rhys could have his space and she could have hers. They’d start fresh in the morning, acting totally, completely, utterly platonic. Yes, that’s it.

She jumped at the knock on the door. “Hey, I made a late night snack if you care to join me.”

Dammit. She was a little hungry. 

Throwing one of Mor’s oversized tees over her sports bra, she opened the door, finding Rhys on his way back to the kitchen and living area, his plate in hand. He had appeared to towel his hair dry, changing into shorts and an old band shirt she remembered him stealing from Cassian a few weeks ago, after their annual beginning of summer water fight.

She spotted a second plate on the counter that consisted of dried fruit, chips they had packed, and Rhys’ favorite gummy worms, also smuggled in. She suppressed a laugh. “Thank you, Rhys. I’m honored, being dubbed worthy of sharing your gummy worms.”

“As you should be.” She snorted, turning around with every intention of returning to her room. “Movie?”

He’d be the death of her. Because she really, really hated telling people no after they were nice to her. Today had been more than nice, if a bit torturous towards the end. She nodded, curling up in the plush chair adjacent to his seat on the long couch. She turned towards the screen, surprised to find Casablanca of all things playing. It was hardly a film she’d think would interest him.

“This was produced in the forties.”

“Yes.”

“I never imagined you were a black and white type.”

“My tastes are eclectic,” he replied. “We have a handful of VCRs in that cabinet and Mom’s a sucker for the older movies. I took after her there.”

“So astronomy and old movies. Interesting.” 

She turned back to the screen, nibbling at an apricot as the opening cast came on screen. She could handle a movie. Just as she actually started to believe that, relaxing into the chair, the rolling thunder boomed, cracking down with a blast of lightning that rattled the powerlines and left the two of them in the dark. Her plate flew from her lap and she cursed.

“It’s just a little storm, Feyre.” She ignored that comment, scrambling to clean up her mess, only pausing when warm fingers closed around her wrist. “Leave that. C’mere.” He led her to the kitchen, opened the drawer beside the refrigerator, and grabbed a couple of flashlights out of it, clicking both of them on and offering her one. “Okay?”

She nodded, though she didn’t argue when his grip around her wrist slid down, his fingers once again laced through hers. “C’mere,” he repeated, pulling her to the couch he had been seated on, dismissing the mess on the floor in favor of soothing her. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, very much aware of how her face was practically buried in his chest. “I can’t explain it. I’ve just always hated night storms. My sisters—When I was little and we were closer, I’d crawl in my sisters’ beds. Elain would sing to me sometimes. It wasn’t a problem when we… downsized.”

He hummed, making no comment on her phrasing. “Would you like me to sing something?” She raised her head, blinking as she comprehended the offer. Before she could deny it, a soft tenor melody was washing over her. It wasn’t lilting and soft as Elain often favored, but it was beautiful all the same. Deep, rich, soothing in its own somber note. Lulled by both the song and the vibrations of his chest, she wanted to memorize every word passing his lips. 

His voice hitched, and his song trailed to silence as she reached up to stroke the stubble at his jaw. “Thank you.”

And before she could convince herself to do something smart, she raised her hand to tangle her fingers in his silky hair, initiating a kiss she prayed she wouldn’t come to regret.

~~~~~

Sorry. Taglist fixed. Hope you enjoyed!

@goddess-aelin // @shallyne // @the-lonelybarricade // @the-lost-changeling // @faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @s-uppertime // @reverie-tales // @acourtofwips // @jealousveronya // @darling-archeron // @acotar-fanns

[iiyanadesu]

Some opinions about 02TB's details now that I can rewatch it in its full glory. Under the cut we go. Rants and spoilers ahoy.

1. I still hate the OST setting used when the Digimons evolved. 2 Jogress Evolutions back-to-back and each evolution had to restart Beat Hit! from the beginning. Why not just continue the song anyway? Also the Jogress actions could use a bit more time before Imperialdramon changed into Fighter Mode (so I could enjoy Beat Hit! a little longer).

2. I saw how Ken's hair flutter in the wind and I squeal 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 it looks messy he looks adorkable I love him

3. Still cannot move on from Miyako's blatant flirting towards Ken while Ken be like, "Uh, yeah... Wait, what?"

All while Ken being not ashamed to praise Daisuke or hold him up from doing potentially idiotic stuff again, pls marry Daisuke

4. Why does Miyako call Ken "Ichijouji-kun" as if he's a work colleague? They are friends for a long time now, go call him "Ken-kun" if you really like him you idiot. On the other hand, the way Ken calls her "Miyako-san" may or may not mean she's his girlfriend; some guys call their girlfriends like that as a sign of love and respect (e.g. DNAngel's Daisuke calling his girlfriend Riku "Riku-san").

The whole Kenyako dynamic is weird; Ken has an affectionate way to call Miyako but he's also kinda clueless with her advances lmao what are you two doing, hold hands already if you like each other you idiots. Or were you waiting for Daisuke?

5. Lui is a pretty ok person. Just socially awkward after his damaged childhood. It was funny to see the others berate him for not being grateful Ukkomon saved his life by possibly killing mom - that's fcked up guys where's your common sense?. Also, kid!Lui sounds like Madoka (Madoka Magica). Ukkomon is definitely the Kyuubey of Digimon, yeah.

Wait. Don't tell me Osamu's death was also done by Ukkomon because Ken wished for Osamu to disappear. Shit.

Now who is the "higher being" behind Ukkomon's creation? May be Oikawa, maybe not. But then again how was he able to recognize Ken being a DD in a glance? Sus af.

6. There have been miscommunications and misinformations throughout the movie, but we can still analyze those and determine whether they really are retcons yeah. Nah not gonna analyze shit; I can do overthinking but "analyzing"? Nope.

7. The dub is good. There are some 🤨 in how the dialogue was performed but overall it's ok. I just lol'd at Wormmon's old-man voice 😂🤣😂🤣 Yes I watch both JP and EN versions. The EN movie could do some revision though, like the opening text. That could be translated yeah? Or narrated, if they can't slap English text on it / replace that part with English text.

8. Oh yeah I did not see Meiko & Menoa anywhere. Oh yeah they're part of the Adventure guys, of course they won't be in this movie like almost all other Adventure kids except Taichi yeesh.

(What's with this dissonance between Adventure and 02 teams? They're all part of the entire Adventure Universe, duh. They could do inter-teamwork in Kizuna but not in 02TB? What's with this writing?)

9. Best characters in this movie are Daisuke-Veemon team. They say some cool shit even Ken is impressed.

10. Miyako went, "What's with the flirting?" and Daisuke went blushing???? But. But Ken started it first!

And now some of my favourite blorbos Ken & Daisuke's shots in this movie. Yes I love Daiken so much. I like Kenyako too but I love my Daiken more

Take this line out of context and ask, "Do what?" 😏

Yeah and like I said. Ken's hair. *squeeeeeeeeeeee*

Ooooh. Look at the lighting. Romantic.

See what they did? Ken started it but Daisuke was the one blushing.

Ok that's all bye

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Prayer & Psalms for Israel🇮🇱

Hamas kidnapping Israeli citizens: 'Babies being taken by terrorists'

Israelis react to 'shocking' surprise attack

Published October 7, 2023 at 3:27pm

Hamas kidnapping Israeli citizens

Jennie Taer

Daily Caller News Foundation

Israelis were taken off guard and are sheltering at home in fear of Hamas terrorists that have infiltrated the country’s borders Saturday.

Hamas terrorists engaged in a surprise attack against Israel, firing thousands of rockets, killing at least a hundred people and taking hostage an unknown number of civilians and soldiers, according to The Associated Press.

“I see moms with babies being taken by terrorists and as a mother myself I can’t even comprehend that it’s actually real,” Noga Kamenetsky, a dual citizen of the U.S. and Israel, told the Daily Caller News Foundation.

Israelis reacted with shock and “horror” in response to Hamas’ surprise Saturday attack that has resulted in numerous deaths and missing persons.

Hamas breached the border separating Gaza from southern Israel Saturday, firing thousands of rockets, killing at least 100 people so far, injuring hundreds more and taking an unknown number of Israeli soldiers and civilians hostage, according to the Associated Press. The war has put the country at a standstill, four Israelis living in Israel told the Daily Caller News Foundation.

Will kidnapped Israeli citizens ever be seen again?

Completing this poll entitles you to WND news updates free of charge. You may opt out at anytime. You also agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

Noga Kamenetsky, who is both a U.S. citizen and an Israeli citizen living in Israel, is upset with the lack of response from so many Americans, she told the DCNF as rocket sirens sounded in her neighborhood.

“It’s so incredibly shocking how silent it is in America, my friends don’t even know what’s going on here, and when (hopefully) Israel attacks back and attacks hard, I hope we don’t take into consideration global media because it doesn’t matter what the world thinks at this point. I see moms with babies being taken by terrorists and as a mother myself I can’t even comprehend that it’s actually real,” Kamenetsky said.

The Biden administration’s U.S. Office of Palestinian Affairs deleted a post Saturday telling Israel to “refrain from violence” after Hamas attacked.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu responded with a declaration of war. The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have begun striking Hamas terrorist strongholds in Gaza, in an operation dubbed “Swords of Iron.”

Rotem Ben Eli, who’s sheltering in place with her friend in Tel Aviv, told the DCNF that Israelis are posting all over social media images of their loved ones that they haven’t been able to locate.

“Since 6:30 a.m. we are facing horror scenes. Innocent Israelis are murdered, babies, children and elders were kidnapped. People are still hiding in bushes and in their shelters in their houses while terrorists are broadcasting live on social media from their phones and even answering the captives’ phones to their relatives,” Ben Eli said.

“There is no excuse for this evil slaughter. Please condemn that and let us defend ourselves as we know well,” she added.

An Israeli who only wished to use her first name, Shoval, described being called to return to the Israeli military.

“Today at 6:30 a.m. my mother called me and said there were alarms (we didn’t hear anything). Then there were more and we went to the shelter,” Shoval said.

“My fiance went to the army and I was called to the service. We’re not doing anything yet because there’s a lot of mess. I’m really terrified,” she added.

Since the surprise attack began, graphic images and videos of innocent civilians of all ages and Israeli soldiers being kidnapped and attacked by Hamas have been circulating on social media.

“Hamas started a war against Israel and the residents of Israel,” Israeli Orel Museri told the DCNF of the situation on the ground.

“Hamas is an anti-Semitic terrorist organization that infiltrated Israel to murder every Israeli man, woman,” Museri said. “Children or adults, they didn’t care, they shoot even on paramedics, there is so much unbelievable things they did only today.”

[eflen-n-reegee]

Heyya!

There are some things I want to write (specifically: another Field Museum field trip (featuring stuff I got to see on member’s night) and CG headcanons for Father from the show “Raised By Wolves” - he’s such a freaking good dad!) but I’m probably not gonna get those written until at least June. (I work in a school and I’ve got some end-of-year burnout keeping me from writing.)

But I’ve been feeling smallish, so I thought maybe I’d rave about some of my favorite childhood movies (in no particular order). :)

A Troll in Central Park I swear, every single time we went to Blockbuster, I wanted to rent this movie. I just adored it, and I really still do. It just makes me really happy.

Lady and the Tramp This is one of my favorite Disney movies. It’s so pretty, and I love the characters.

Cats (1998) Is it a “kids movie”? No. Did I understand the plot? Barely. But by gosh, I’d put on a leotard and paint whiskers on my face, and I would dance around the living room like I’d been raised to play one of the characters. 😸

The Rescuers Down Under I actually wasn’t allowed to watch this for most of my childhood because my mom felt like the bad guy was “too evil” - she tried to be careful about the things me and my siblings watched when we were really young. (Although, kinda funny, “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” was never restricted. 🤣) But I was able to watch it a few times, and I really liked it.

The Prince of Egypt The MUSIC! My gosh, even when I was too young to really appreciate the visuals, I knew the music was great.

The Muppet Christmas Carol We still watch this movie every Christmas. One year my dad was on the phone with my grandparents while we were watching, and he couldn’t stop laughing at “Jacob and Robert Marley”.

Pollyanna I don’t really know WHY I loved this movie so much - it’s so dialog-heavy and I had (and still kind of have) a pretty short attention span. Still, basically every time I was at my grandparents house I wanted to watch their copy of it.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks I guess some people say this movie was a “Mary Poppins” knockoff? Honestly, as much as I do enjoy “Mary Poppins”, I personally like this more. Maybe ‘cause I like witches.

Kiki’s Delivery Service (1997 English Dub) The characters! The story! The music! AAAAHHH! This is still one of my all-time favorite movies, and it bums me out so much that the 97’ version is so hard to find. (I may or may not have found it online and saved it to my computer so I’ll always have it. XD) I still have the VHS copy I got for Christmas when I was really little.

Homeward Bound & Homeward Bound 2: Lost in San Francisco Everytime I hear the theme music I feel giddy. I like the first one a little more, but they’re both such nice, feel-good movies.

The Lion King 2 - Simba’s Pride … I like this movie more than the first one. 😱😂 The original “Lion King” is great, but I just alway liked this one more. The colors, the songs, the characters (good gosh, Zira is one of my favorite villains ever, don’t even get me started). It’s just really good!

Oliver and Company As a kid this was probably one of my top five Disney movies. It’s not quite so high on the list now, but I still really love it.

Hap Palmer’s Baby Songs This is technically a series and not a “movie”, but this is my list so I’m gonna count it. 😆 They’re mostly original songs, they’re super catchy, and the accompanying videos are a lot of fun. Most of the songs are on Hap Palmer’s YouTube channel; I highly recommend checking it out. (Also: I did not grow up watching “Turn on the Music”, but it’s also really good.) 

The Ruby Princess Runs Away This movie is available on YouTube, but please tell me if you ever saw it as a kid - none of my friends had and I couldn’t believe it. This was one of my favorite movies and I watched it so much I can still recite segments of it; a few years ago my sister picked a random scene, played a few seconds, and I gave her the next lines of dialogue. That’s how wild I was about it. 🤣 It’s honestly not a great movie, pretty average and without much of a budget, but I still love it.

[daisyachain]

been a while since I did one of these! Takes me back

tagged by @kareenvorbarra

Last song : Númenor - Oonagh (Nightcore). No comment.

Last show: The Expanse! It’s as good as they say. Had a blast watching it with my equally-invested mother and spotting which actors were Canadian. I’ve had it on my to-watch pretty much since 2018, so I’m glad both to experience a fantastic hard sci-fi and to end the long wait. Also just finished a simultaneous watch of Run With the Wind/Kazetsuyo, an unconventional little sports anime well worth the watch.

Last movie: Has to be Revenge of the Sith as I forced my friend to watch the Skywalker Saga front to back (with The Siege of Mandalore and Rogue One coming up before the OT). I need to find and burn the soundtrack.

Currently watching: Wolf’s Rain, my very first anime. I’ve done a full rewatch maybe once? But I don’t remember it at all. Because it’s a calm and episodic show I’ve roped mom into it as well. On the B-side I’ve started KyoAni’s archery venture Tsurune and I’m rewatching Given in dub. It’s a good time with all.

Currently reading: Critically acclaimed psychological thriller Naoki Urasawa’s Monster and alt history drama Ōoku on the manga front, 00s smash hit Haruhi Suzumiya (reread) on the Light Novel front. I’m on a prose holiday after Wheel of Time, but in between I’m reading a few Murakami books at my best friend’s sister’s roommate’s request.

Current obsession: Um. Recently ended manga Dr. Stone. It’s not good. I don’t advise reading it. The women are some of the worst-treated I’ve seen (art). The production design ditto. I myself have only experienced it through vol. 1 (tried out at the library, bounced off, looked at what happened in the rest of it out of confusion, made fatal mistake), snippets of season 1 of the adaptation, and a skim of 2 arcs online.

So as one does I barely know the plot. I know half the characters and half of those are by accident. The way in which it’s bad isn’t appetizing. It may well have been written by an EU trade committee with how the politics are handled. However the Thoughts it expresses on science, technology, society, pacifism, economics provoke a reaction and I’ve Reacted.

tagging @feathertayl, @emberstreak, @licilou22, @aredhel-of-doylkien, @lamalamam? I’m sure I’ve missed something

[fuzziekins]

Story time!

Had a best friend growing up. We were so close that not only did our moms become friends but she had Christmas or Easter at her mom's my parents and i were invited to celebrate even though we're Jewish. She was more like a sister to me than anything. She's the one who got me into most of the animes i watched back then, primarily Pokémon and Digimon (she tried Yu-Gi-Oh as well but i ended up getting there on my own). She was also the person who really got me into drawing and made me want to create more. We were best friends for 10 years until she randomly stopped when we were 16-17. My other two best friends who knew her, when we all get together she's one of the names that comes up and you know what i learned? Even before she randomly cut me off, she was never really a good friend. Or person. But did i stop enjoying these things?

Well, yeah, art for a while, but that was for a totally different, personal, and more traumatic reason and that didn't happen for another 8-9 years.

I continued to play Pokémon games. I still buy Pokémon plushies. I think back on Digimon and my response is, "i loved that show when i was a kid" (even though yes, the dub probably wasn't that great). And even though she may have influenced my art style back then, styles grow and change. It's been 18 years since i've officially been friends with her, and in that time i only randomly saw her once or twice and had less than a minute interaction with her both times. When i'm with my friends and we complain/vent about the people in high school, yeah her name comes up and i have many feelings and frustrations. But when i'm watching these animes i enjoy? When i'm going on a virtual Pokémon journey? When i'm creating my headcannons of what Disney characters would have which Pokémon or Digimon partners? When i watch any of those things? She's the last thing on my mind.

20 years ago i absolutely credited her with getting me into art and considered her the reason i loved to draw. But that was wrong. When anyone asks me where my creativity comes from? Why i art or love to write? The person who really started it all? It was my dad. He went to school for art (even though he never got to pursue it as a career). He enjoyed writing. He passed those onto me. He encouraged my creativity. He may be gone now and it may have taken time to enjoy those things again, and maybe for reasons i didn't quite expect and in ways i couldn't imagine. Now i create for queer representation. For something to give people. Sometimes for venting. And, hopefully, to make people happy (or, at the very least, feel something).

Because these are my things now. And that ex-friend can go screw herself.

get revenge on those who wronged you by continuing to like the things you used to enjoy together, then re-contextualize and re-interpret them to suit your own personal enjoyment without worrying about what they might think. it’s yours now. reclaim your joy

[the-violet-galaxy]

@thegoofiestcelestiallovers

Thank you for the explanation, I think I get the characters better!

(Tumblr's being weird with the submission, so I have to post what you said this way for some reason):

Here's what I know about the characters! Roxanne: Twisted Wolf and a Lolbit model (I don't remember her name) are Roxanne's parents! They were divorced, but I think they ended up back together! I don't know much about Roxanne's sister, but she did have a twin brother named Rocky! He ended up dying by Ennard's hand in an effort to rescue Gregory! Anyway! Roxanne was originally a self-centred individual, but Glamrock Freddy set her up with Gregory, and the two started a channel together! Over time, Roxanne became calmer and toned down on her attitude. However, Eclipse (V1 from TSAMS) put a maternity chip in her. Which made her much more material but also a bit baby crazy! She was set to marry Glamrock Freddy (because of a misunderstanding), but Circus Baby crashed her wedding and removed the chip. Roxanne was shattered and back to being mean again, but that didn't last long. Eventually, things got sorted out! Now Roxanne is Gregory's mother, as she adopted him! There was also an arc where she dated Circus Baby! But due to Baby wanting a family of her own, it caused stress, and they broke up. (May or may not have been after Ennard turned evil? Don't quite remember!) Regardless, I believe Roxanne identifies as a lesbian and is currently single! Puppet: Puppet was originally Charlie, yes! In her original dimension, Puppet was possessed by the spirit of Charlie. However, she cut Henry's (her dad) strings. She had strings connected to everything, so if she disconnects them, then that individual can die. Depending on how long they've been attached for. Unfortunately, her actions kill Henry, and she leaves! After that, her dimension dies. I'm not sure at what point she is no longer Charlie, but it's likely after she moves to the TSAMS dimension! She meets Golden Freddy, and after some time, they fell in love and got married. (I think!) They eventually have Freddy (OG Freddy!) via magic! However, Puppet runs from her responsibilities. Leaving Freddy with Golden! We don't hear about Puppet again until Lunar needs somewhere to stay. (A whole situation with Eclipse!) I think Puppet helps Monty get to space at some point, but I don't quite recall! Some point later in the timeline, she meets Foxy, and they eventually start dating! She becomes FC's mom! (Also, Jack's mom, too! Which was during Solar's death, I think!) There was also a whole situation with the Stitchwraith that eventually got sorted out. However, they ended up with a lot of negative star power. Monty stored it somewhere, but Gemini tells them to get rid of it! So, they decide (after much discussion) to put it into Puppet's dimension. As it's dead. Monty and Moon build a machine that can send the dark star power to Puppet's dimension. It works, but they have a little bit of an issue with it. Thankfully, the dark star power is dealt with! However, there's unforeseen consequences! The dark star power awakens something dubbed as the Puppet Master. It was essentially Puppet's mirror. It could use her abilities but would have to learn to control them first. Puppet ends up asking Eclipse for help, and he reluctantly agrees to. Cutting a long story short, they end up having to track down the Puppet Master before it could get to their dimension. That whole situation ends with Puppet and Puppet Master facing off. (Without getting into the entire arc that happened there, of course!) Eclipse and Puppet end up trapping the Puppet Master! After that, Puppet decides she has to leave. Otherwise, there's a risk the Puppet Master will return and hurt her friends. She and Eclipse go to their new home, which is the new dimension that came into existence after Ruin destroyed 5000 others. Now Puppet, Foxy, FC and Eclipse live in this new dimension! Running the channel, whilst trying to prevent things from happening here that have happened in the TSAMS dimension! (They don't want history to repeat itself essentially!)

[lv-iceprince]

https://www.tumblr.com/lv-iceprince/763842297608749056/httpswwwtumblrcomlv-iceprince763835954024873

Lol but you still get to go! Skz being so popular now, atp I would be happy to even be in the back to see them live. I don’t even know how I got to see Ateez soo close as VIP back in August. The absolute hell my sis, friend, and mom had to go through because there was more than 5,000 in line in the morning to get their lanyard was insane. I made like 3 lines and each was a 2-3 hour wait and by the time soundcheck and the concert started, we were already out. My sis literally just waited till “Its You” to play and then she left the concert only to get lost in the streets on her way back to the hotel🤣🤣So much chaos that day lol

I’m here and I’m glad you’re here!😭

Nahh I wouldn’t care, I’ll watch the anime I want to watch thank you very much lol good on you! Ooo I may just check Free out then

Really??😭😭For me, it helps me learn about myself in astrology and the level of detail you put into writing them is just chefs kiss🤌I know it’s so time consuming but it really is worth it and just knowing potential dynamics with your bias really makes it hard not to want to request it😭

You are sooo sweet I don’t deserve you😭I love your energy too♥️🫶🏼I would definitely wait as long as it takes. I’m literally about to kiss the ground rn thank you so much😭🙇🏻‍♀️♥️

~🎶

I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO BUT I DOWNGRADED FOR MY MUM I COULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT NEAR THE STAGE

But my love for her outweighs skz, idk lmao.

It was so hard to get tickets but I managed to get some of the better ones with a version of VIP where I get the merch and they're doing this whole sleep set thing for Australia. I was also super close last year when they came to Australia so I got enough Felix and Hyunjin validation that night so I don't mind whatever seat tbh.

But that's so true I was prepared to not even get tickets since Stray Kids are getting so popular now

But that sounds so insane, I don't even think I'd enjoy that with the way it was for Ateez that is literally so chaotic I don't know how you dealt with that without losing it! But wait ago for you getting VIP to see Ateez that is the greatest achievement ever!

Now with Free, I love the dub more it just feels like it has more character, kind of like the voice acting for Final Fantasy. And despite it being so popular back in the day no one mentions it but it's probably top tier.

It's not exactly like Yuri on Ice or anything but it has a similar vibe and the animation is so so so so pretty! The way they animate water differently in every episode is so beautiful and it makes me cry. Just the most artistic show ever.

And yeah I see what you mean, I lost it, idk where it is but I did request a synastry ship with Felix once. I felt like royalty because our Mars was Marsing and the energy was like dream level.

And yep yep yep yep yep I will do it 100% I'm actually sorting out birth charts now for the other 2 people who have requested so no problem and nice choice with Yeosang. I have never done any ateez synastry ships but you requesting him and someone choosing Hongjoong I AM SO PUMPED

I'm not rushing I was already doing some work on a synastry ship now so I really don't mind ^.^ ^.^

[wykwryt]

ok i have been searching desperately to try and find this movie but i am failing miserably so someone please help:

I wanna say it was set in the Philippines and that it was a Netflix movie, but I am now uncertain about that. (It is live action.) It's about a high school girl (who I will dub "L" because I think that's what her name started with???) who writes erotica about her crush (let's call him "K") at school privately on her Wattpad, but when she leaves herself signed in on a school computer by accident, some other students find it and publish it.

This starts off a witch hunt on the part of the school to figure out who it is and also crack down on the student population in general.

Besides this, L does tell K that it was her and apologizes for making him the center of attention at school. He doesn't out her, but he does ask her to help him get with HIS crush and L's former best friend (uhh calling her "N", I'm just picking letters now). L and N haven't talked in a long time, but in the interest of doing this for K, L rekindles her relationship with N.

Something something something, there's an aquarium date I think with all three of them at some point? Also, L's mom is super nice and amazing, her family isn't very well-off, and their school is very fancy. L's in on a scholarship, and she's known as a model student - I think she may have been class president or something? I think there was an element of the school employing her to investigate who the Wattpad writer was. (N is very rich, poor relationship with her parents I wanna say?) (K I dunno, but both L and K go to the same church and have some conversations at the community events there.)

It turns out that N has had a crush on L for ages (and is pretty solidly only into girls I think, I think there was a short lil bit at the end of her finding interest in someone new), and they both sorta deal with it and come out strong best friends at the end. Also, L and K get together (I don't remember all the details of this). Throughout the movie (and I think it was the very first scene) there's some sick ass scenes of L's fics about K, showing her like. As a queen that K is bowing down to, power sexual fantasies and all the usual, they're very camp.

In the end of it all, I forget how (she might've confessed?) but L is, in fact, outed as the writer. She's cut a deal to be able to stay at school if she gives a public apology to the entire school and a speech condemning her actions, but when she gets up to the podium, she talks shit about the school's priorities and all the ways (details I don't remember) that they treat the students like shit. (It was very cathartic in terms of Asian-kid-that-has-to-do-well-in-school and actually addressed a lot of like. Quiet, culturally-appropriate shit that had been happening throughout the movie in a way I really didn't expect it to.) She gets expelled from the school and rides off into the sunset on a motorbike with K, ending details are very fuzzy.

L's mom is very supportive of her happiness, thus L being able to take the loss of her prestigious school record in exchange for speaking her truth and not giving a false apology she didn't believe in. (Dude, her mom is great.) (Also, they run a shop of some sort? I forget what the shop was for, bike parts maybe? Hmmm, I think it was bike parts.)

ANYWAYS, help please.

[syeunko]

God's in his heaven - all's right with the world

Now that I’m back, people ask me all the time, “How does it feel to be back in Boston?”

I tell them, “It feels weird. Boston is so familiar, but a lot of things have changed too.”

This is mostly a (white) lie. I may be from Virginia, but Boston is my home. It’s just me, I’ve changed.

For example, today before church, I was sitting at Life Alive across the T station, where I could kind of see the real-time transit information display. “Gout Ctr, 5 min.” Gout center? Is that a new green line T stop? GOUT??? Only to figuratively smack my forehead far too many seconds later - Government Center. I couldn’t believe I’d taken that long to realize, a surefire sign I’d been gone two years. 

I checked the time, wondering when I should leave to get to church on time. The thought of finding someone to walk in with flitted across my mind, but I couldn’t be bothered enough to do anything about it, in the same way I didn’t care anymore about having to introduce myself and say hello to people before the sermon. I lazily wondered why I used to dread that so much, it seemed so silly now. So painfully minute in the grand scheme of things, maybe because of my time at Maple and NY, where I’d frequently talk to different people in different settings.

Yesterday, I bought a yoga mat, and guess what - I was genuinely excited about it. I wonder if something just suddenly clicks in your head when you’re older. I’ve been showering as soon as I come home (and everyday), setting aside daily time to clean my room (I love my room), journaling/praying, and moving around more. I am a chronic dish-washer-procrastinator, but for some reason whenever I put my dirty dishes in the sink, Junwon has been annoyingly popping up in my head. I then channel his deep-set aversion to delayed dish-washing and scrub-a-dub those plates clean. Easy. 

I drink less coffee because I realized it makes me anxious. I realized it made me anxious by listening to my body and paying attention to how I feel. I can discern these things because I now know what a normal, healthy routine feels like on my body. 

Did something magically click in my head, or am I freed from crippling depression? I’m inclined to lean towards the latter. Because things are still hard, but it feels different.

Aside from the first question, this question surprisingly comes up too: “Where are you going to go next?”

To be honest, I feel flattered people think I’m someone who would easily toggle between places, traipsing around as I please. 

I respond honestly, though. “I don’t know where else I’d go. I think I’ll be in Boston a while.”

Yesterday, my mom cried. She cried and cried and cried. I watched her, shocked into silence, willing myself to not cry. 

Instead, I burned and burned and burned on the inside and my heart churned and twisted. The tears went so far back in I couldn’t cry even when I wanted to later. 

Today, Grace wept for my mom. Granted, she was already crying (lol), but she cried and cried some more. 

Where else would I go? Where else can I find communitypeople like this, friends who cry for your family in your stead? 

If you ask me if I regret having gone home, my answer is still no. If it helped my mom and Logan in any capacity, it was worth it. Because "love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7) And I bore a lot, believed and believe still, have abundant hope, and will continue to endure.

The last line of Anne of Green Gables is, “God’s in his heaven, all’s right with the world.” It’s been one of my favorite phrases ever since I read it as a kid; I found it to be so wistful and hopeful. 

I didn’t know it actually originated from the poem ‘Pippa Passes’ by Robert Browning until recently. 

There are multiple interpretations, but I like this one: “Those last two lines are often quoted to signify naïve optimism and innocence, and often with bitter irony, but in the play they come as a timely reminder of purity and righteousness in a fallen world.” In the same vein, another person wrote: “in the context of that poem, there is much that is not right in the world, but even in the midst of all that is wrong, still there are moments of beauty when all does indeed seem right.”

And that's exactly how I feel now. God’s in his heaven - all’s right with the world.