#i may finally get into gaming
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almost as much as she loved you
#dd may be a bad game but you gotta hand it to them for the tragic gay subplot#ace attorney#aura blackquill#metis cykes#aurametis#my art#aa#SO GLAD I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE.#sometimes the best thing u can do for an art piece is forget about it for several months#until u get the sudden whim to speedrun it in time for valentine's day
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A fan of any capcom game is simultaneously the company's biggest hater
#Ok maybe not for EVERY game but you get the point#especially from the earlier games#megaman#megaman x#megaman zero#megaman zx#megaman legends#megaman battle network#megaman starforce#resident evil#street fighter#ace attorney#devil may cry#monster hunter#darkstalkers#dead rising#yes im tagging every game#onimusha#breath of fire#lost planet#final fight#dino crisis#power stone#okami#bionic commando#project x zone#cannon spike#ok nvm i give up
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Sleep power coming in clutch
#kirby#kirby and the forgotten land#katfl spoilers#hoshi no kirby#morpho knight#hoshi no kaabii#Finally beat this motherfucker and the game so I can nap easily#hey did u know if u nap u can get double the hp#i. forgot about this#until I went 'wait I'm supposed to be dead why am I still going'#some may ask#'but Aseuki you cosplayed Morpho how did you not finish the game yet'#LISTEN#I am.#the Worst Gamer Alive#I needed to collect all the dees#you expect me to abandon all the wawas#like some kind of MONSTER???#inconceivable#aseukiart#fanart
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i love...wanpee...........🍊🍶🧡💚
#one piece#nami#zoro#one piece live action#opla#my art#alternate caption: dum dum fruit#im so happy that more and more people are getting into op it truly is the series that keeps on giving#op is a series easily misunderstood by its art style and goofiness but at its core are themes about abuse of power. its so well written#AND IM SO HAPPY I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO DRAW FANART FOR FUN AND NOT FOR LIKE. A CON OR STH AND WORRY IF MY ART IS “SELLABLE” OR “MARKETABLE”#*checks watch* apparently i havent drawn fanart for fun since december so thats like. 9 months#i had the biggest difficulty with this drawing#i actually drew this first in a lineless style. i attempted it lineless TWICE. with 2 diff brush sets/techniques#then i lined it and i was like hmm . i dont like this its too stiff#so i tried it with a lighter hand and im like !!! it clicks#i honestly do think im pretty rusty and bc of not drawing for fun in a while i dont really know what#to do with my art style direction as of late#so i may try a bunch of different things. and i hope people enjoy em regardless!#ill try to do a screencap redraw every few days this is really fun#i also havent had time for video games in months so im also relieved ill have time for more games n game fanart hopefully
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The Witness and Why It (and its demise) Means Everything to Me (A POC Perspective)
Hey everyone!! The Final Shape has ruined me and has brought me to levels of not only grief, but hope, that I did not think possible, so I decided to give my thoughts on the different aspects of it that moved me to a place where I can be at peace with many things in my life and look forward to paving a better future!!! I think I’ll be making many posts pertaining to the Final Shape as a way to help me express my thoughts on how important this DLC was to me, but we will see!
Please note that these are just my loose, not fully structured thoughts and I’m yapping. My opinions are subject to change and I’d love to hear the input of others! We will be talking about subjects such as slavery, religion, black experiences, and personal experiences of mine!!! It’s very long too, so I’m sorry about that and any writing errors!!
Though I do not believe what I speak of was fully Bungie’s intentions when making the character, the implications and views you can take on the Witness do relate to what I will discuss.
I wanted to start off my return to tumblr with one of the many, many reasons why I have such a deep attachment to the Witness (Precursors and Dissenters will get a different post bc they mean the world to me too!!) , because truly, this entity owns my whole life. I think of it all the time, it lingers in my thoughts, my art, my writing, all of it. It has been so deeply intertwined with my enjoyment of Destiny since it appeared and has offered so much to my perception of the world. I do not think I will truly get over it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t draw it every chance I get. It appears in every single thought of mine, it’s bad you guys.
I love the Witness so deeply because I have never harbored such a personal level of DISGUST for a character before. As much as I joke about it being silly and the love of my life, the very existence of the Witness revolts me to the core and the tragedies it has directly or indirectly caused squeeze my heart empty. This festering rot of an egregore SICKENS me as it is the beliefs that has robbed me and many others of family, culture, and livelihoods given form. My love for the Witness comes from how it instills in me such HATRED, and truly, we were far too kind to it in game.
For context, I am Caribbean American and have a tumultuous relationship with my heritage for many reasons, but it wasn’t until the Witness and its many victims that I felt like the religious imperialism that has affected my heritage was represented in a way that crept into my spirit.
My Caribbean mother always said to me that we are of this world, not in it. That the hearts of men are wicked and sin (cruelty) was embedded in existence itself. It is only when we give ourselves to a higher purpose that we will be free in the end from all suffering. To her, this life and everything in it did not truly matter for it was a temporary challenge to overcome in order to earn an eternity of salvation. A perfect paradise was awaiting us all if we just gave into the way and left everything else behind.
These were all convictions she held to her very core as she tried to shed away all other aspects of herself to give into this “truth”, especially her Caribbean culture.
She did not always believe this way, but to her, the island she came from did not truly matter at all. Those “wayward people” she grew up with were not worth anything and would die as nobodies on that nowhere island for their lives were not saved, even if they knew of the “truth”. In her adopted views, those people believed in false gods and practices (such as Vodou and beliefs that belonged to those taken from Africa and indigenous populations), they invited in frivolous wants of the flesh such as lust (with „improper“ attire and certain dances), and committed crimes that proved to her that they could never be anything more than what they already were (though she would be blinded to the fact that these behaviors are a result of hostile environments created by the systems established for slavery and racial subjugation). If she wanted to be fit for “walking the right path”, those people had to be left behind for they were lost causes who could not be saved unless they were delivered by the “respectable” ways of life. She had to discard her black mannerisms, hair, speech, and more to have a place amongst the truly chosen.
Religious imperialism has a long history of being heavily tied to discussions of race and colonialism as those who participated in subjugation believed themselves to be more enlightened than the people they brought devastation to, giving them an entitlement that drove them to force their way of viewing religion onto populations. After all, in their minds, they were doing the greatest good for they were setting the people they subjugated on a path for eternal paradise. There was no cost too high in this finite life for infinite salvation to colonizers and all efforts to convert populations who did not see this truth would be “necessary”. People would die or be forced into servitude in mass to support the ambitions of the “enlightened” ones, whole cultures and populations being scrubbed from the face of this Earth in an attempt to “heal what is sick”, to “break broken bones again to heal them right”. I think of all the generations lost to war, slavery, colonialism, and every other act done to deliver “purpose” onto others, all the people whose names will never be known because others used the breath needed to utter it on preaching of their own virtue, and I am left in ruin.
I think of how my mother speaks of those lost to destitute lives because of the social pillaging of the island as an unfortunate side effect of guiding them to the truth and I look at how her world view has been ruined.
My mother thought she was saving me by keeping me from my culture, my people, my family. I did not get to know the language, the customs, the land, but I did get to know how much my mother thought those were distractions. She spent my whole life trying to cement the truths given to her by the same people who left her island in such as state that she felt like she had to run from it, to ensure I would not grow into a person, but a vessel of the righteous message. After all, to be a person is to be complex, nuanced, and flawed and there was no room for that in the visions given to her. The complexities and human flaws that came with our culture would only distract us from giving our whole lives to freeing ourselves from the curse of existence.
The cruelty the Witness delivers with such gentleness as it razes civilizations, its unwavering belief that it is the objective truth and other perspectives are blind to this truth, the means it will use to get that “justified” end, its gut wrenching to me and all that has been lost throughout human history to ideologies that bear the same qualities. Its zealous, static nature that relies on circular reasoning keeps me up at night and makes me mourn what could have been if the unfamiliar and hard to understand parts of human expression were allowed to flourish instead of being eradicated for diverging from someone’s vision of what makes a life worth living. I see this big eyed vessel, incapable of growth and convinced of its own righteousness and my chest feels like it is going to cave in. I see its disciples and pawns in the faces of too many people I know and recall their stories in moments that remind me how poisonous what the Witness represents is.
The Witness is an evil that has hollowed out lives, homes, land, and futures, especially for those who come from heritages that have persevered against attempts to “rectify” them. I still grieve the empty life my mother lives and the people left to suffer the consequences of daring to create their own meaning. I look at the face of the Witness and think of the “burdens lifted off my mother’s shoulders” by those who thought themselves as witnesses of a truth that could not be contested with interpretations that could not be questioned. She prides herself on being a weapon wielded to correct the sinful hearts of men, but I just wish she prided herself on being a person because those who “delivered” her robbed people of color of personhood entirely.
The Witness is not a person, but the embodiment of these deeply rooted ideologies and concepts that affect so many. It’s horror, both in game and the parallels it has in reality, is far too grand and unfathomable for me to bear its weight on my soul and not agonize. Its very existence is monstrous, despite the understandable intentions that went into its making, and my stomach churns at the mere thought of it.
How many species in the Destiny universe will we never know about because their whole galaxy was used to get closer to the Final Shape? How many star systems were left barren because of the Witness’ ambitions? How many children, spouses, artists, philosophers, siblings, neighbors, and more, people who were something, became nothing because of eons of the Witness‘ justifications? Bile boils just thinking of it.
What the Witness represents has hung over my head my whole life and its perverse touch lingers on the whole Destiny universe, tracing many of the depraved atrocities in the game back to itself. It’s death in the Final Shape, at the hands of those it had turned into victims and left to deal with the repercussions of its influence united together, moved me in ways I do not think I could ever properly articulate. To see beloved characters I had given a decade of my life to come together from different backgrounds with different reasons to defeat such a heinous entity, I felt like I could do my part to bring others together, despite our struggles and differences, to rebuild what had been taken from us.
As a person of color from a group of people many still think are undeserving of life, seeing so many characters I have related to over the years say “I matter because I decided to and you can’t take that away from me” to an entity who thought itself so refined that it got to determine everyone’s worth strengthened my entire being. Existing as a person of color is bold in and of itself, but the defeat of the Witness at the hands of people who wanted to exist so bad they risked everything for it ignited in me a flame to be audacious. My existence and culture as a poc is unsightly and heretical, but TFS encouraged me to take on the prejudices of others by saying “Here, despite generations being molded into a “perfect” image and so many lives lost in the struggle to live personal truths, ergo sum. Ergo sum and there is nothing wrong with that”.
To me, the Witness’ death showed me that the stains left behind by social structures such as religious imperialism and colonialism can be overcome by people banding together to make the future different from the past. When we embrace the subjectivity of existence, we can create spaces for different views on life to flourish and reconnect with the nuances of this world. We can better the lives of our people, no matter who they are, not by abandoning all cultural practices and ways of life that were deemed meaningless, but by rebuilding our societies to allow for fulfilling lives and self efficacy for all.
My people no longer have to let imperial powers decide our fate for us or decide that we can be nothing other than the „nature of our race“ that they believe is inferior. Instead of looking up at others who asserted themselves as more enlightened for salvation, we can look at each other and realize there is no one truth to life, especially one worth all the devastation and cruelty placed against those who lived differently. The intricacies of life often lead people to belief systems that allow for comfort and understanding, alleviating the anxiety of possibly living an improper life that will forfeit a desirable afterlife. It is up to individuals to decide what makes their life fulfilling and what beliefs will guide their actions, for no one can make your fate but you.
My mother still likes to wear the patterns of the island and keeps paintings of island scenery in her room. She talks on the phone in patois when she doesn’t feel the pressure to be “proper”. She misses her mother because she used to make dishes from home. To relate it to Destiny, she still has the coordinates to her Lubrae in her pyramid despite convincing herself abandoning it all was for the best and there was nothing there worth keeping. I once thought reconnecting with our heritage alongside her would be a frivolous endeavor, but I hope that with time and understanding, the Witness may not have power over her anymore and she won’t look back on her disassociation with relief. Time and understanding will make our island grow and flourish, free to decide what it wants to be, not held back by preconceived notions of the worth of its existence.
Despite all the Witnesses in the world, I will persist on and try to acquaint myself with my culture without shame. The Witness is everything to me because I hope one day it desecrates nothing ever again. I hope the Witness becomes nothing at all and the cultures it has corrupted make themselves something audacious.
Thank you guys so much for reading!! I hope you guys don’t mind the vague language, I chose to spare some details for my own sake and to make the message more applicable!! I’d love to hear the takes of other people about this bc I love hearing people’s perspectives!! And always remember, no one makes your fate but you!!! Go be audacious!!!!
#destiny 2#destiny#destiny the game#the witness#destiny witness#d2#the final shape#everyone get a brick it’s beat the witness o clock#my witness I HATE you like no other#I love you like no other my witness#i need some one to talk about the grander implications and ideas behind the witness or I fear I may pass away#i feel for the victims of the witness so hard that I have cried whole rivers over them#do not hug the witness pls bc I’m already doing that and then I will be punching it#i should make posts agonizing over all the disciples and pawns as well if you guys are interested#destiny the final shape
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It wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card that I’d draw V again. Anyway I’ll go ahead ramble in the tags
#devil may cry 5#dmc5#dmc v#so I’ve replayed dmc5 a stupid amount of times since March#but to be fair it’s a very short game#but I’ve developed a hobby of trying to connect dots between v and Vergil#cuz the detail is actually so good#for instance even how he holds the cane is similar to how he handles Yamato#his expressions are so alike but it’s not obvious#but then I thought#why is vergil’s humanity some dweeb who is like 20 something#he is like closest age wise to his dmc3 version#(this has probably been answered but I wanted to figure it out myself)#then I remembered the line from v about how his humanity has finally returned#so has it been subdued and dormant ever since he got imprisoned by mundus#and is that why his humanity resembles his younger self#cuz the human vulnerable side of him has been dead#this is the only edition of Vergil I won’t drop kick on sight#human v is a dork ass goth who has a soft squishy heart#and he can’t even kill his brother who he hates so much when given the chance#UUUGGHHHHHHHHHH#don’t even get me started about the ordeal with Nero#v tried so hard to just see him as a tool but he knows that wasn’t the case
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do yall ever think about young Viktor, and his first few years in Piltover? trying to prove his worth & avoid scrutiny. as an adult, he's independent, respected, and self-assured. but when he was just starting out?
#i just wonder what it was like#or how long he may have suffered until finally rising above it#did he have any friends?#well probably not#it seems like the only acquaintance he had was heimerdinger#how was he discovered or how did he get into the academy?#was heimerdinger his patron?#what was the competition like?#how hard did he work?#i imagine him spending sleepless nights studying even when already guaranteed to ace exams#were people mean to him?#did he have a crush?#did he... yk... get some?#why is he so alone?#how did he become so nonchalant#maybe i just want to see it all#viktor#arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#viktor x jayce#jayce talis#heimerdinger#netflix#riot games#league of legends
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some test scribbles of step 2 tam & qiu as i try to figure how i wanna draw them. i see step 2 qiu drawn with the longer half-up hairstyle most often in fanart than the bob 🤔 i get it tho bc it makes them look very cool, but i think (and it might just be bc of how i draw them) bob qiu kinda looks like young howl pendragon 🫣. but i’m still kinda torn o+< for tam i’m kinda leaning towards her longer braid + glasses but also like her old bob too.
#i think i’ll end up using whichever i get one my first playthrough when the game finally releases#but WHO KNOWS there’s a lot of time btwn now and then#i’m also trying to decide step2 mai as well………………..#WE’LL SEE#our life#our life: now & forever#yucky wip#tamarack baumann#qiu lin
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not me immediately getting jude from this
who did you guys get? 👀
#idk any of them i just see jude around a lot so it made me chuckle#@/judejazza and their wonderful posts i often run into#victor is apparently my opposite from these options and elbert is my 2nd choice or smth#(friends and i usually do 'quizzes' 3x to get our main/secondary/opposite)#anyway im just snooping around now. still not sure how i feel abt it but was never too tempted for ikevil.#the less gacha in my life atp the better ngl ;;;;;;;; its why ive stayed away from most of the new games and tryna limit current ones#though if they ever do finally drop ikegen (unlikely asf) ..... count my ass in#i can't even be mad ikepri dropped bc ive enjoyed it so much more than i ever thought i would. easily my fav or 2nd fav bc ikerev#i still adore ikerev and magic and the world building and everything.. alice is just pretty dumb sometimes#which is why i adore b&tb-esque belle/emma so much. also why i like mai in some routes (ikesen humor op)#ikevamp has always just kinda been there tbh. usually the events feel more interesting than the routes ngl;;; charas are fun tho#anyway let's see how this bad boy goes#who did y'all get??#ikevil#ikemen villains#my post 📫#aerin.jpg#from the official ig acct btw
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oh love... even the early morning dawn is a pale shame to the picture of you.
auraugust 2024 - golden
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#au ra#wol#estinien varlineau#wol x estinien#wol goes by they/them#auraugust2024#auraugust#⭐ mine#and thats a rap#crazy dude holy shite#i went from almost never gposeing (cause a funny game mental illness makes of things you enjoy)#to gposing everyday#and i loved every minute of it#for the last one you get ito being the light of not only my life but estiniens#🎐 may the wind guide me back to you
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jaheira please im trying to have a serious conversation
#my girl back there getting wasted#🤣#i FINALLY got to see the epilogue!!!!#but my comp is busted so i had to downgrade to my old pc which means poorer quality screenshots 😭#granted it is on my durge playthrough and she didn’t romance halsin but its still so sweet ❤️#it really felt like a missed connection type of reunion with halsin#like my durge is very happy with astarion but seeing halsin again definitely brought some unresolved feelings to the surface#she may have spent the party flirting and hugging halsin more than anyone else#i wish i had more characters at end game - i desperately need to see a romanced halsin ending with my druid#hopefully i can play more this weekend 🤞#halsin#halsin bg3#bg3#bg3 epilogue#jaheira#jaheira bg3
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Vergil doodle
#devil may cry fanart#dmc3#devil may cry 3#vergil dmc#vergil sparda#beanie art#I might do a full on discoelysium style portrait set like i did with the mgs2 main characters#Though i guess there's legit like 5 human characters in this game and 2 of them are the same guy#Well i guess i could do the bosses too but im not usually the type to stick to long series of drawings like that#We'll see what i get up to when my finals are over
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Happy two-year anniversary to this blog, fatuismooches 🫶 I would like to thank you all for the love and support you've given me over these two years, and I hope to continue writing for as long as I can ❤️
#smooches talks#skeddales away!!!#i may answer an ask tonight#maybe#ive been playing botw lately (ive had the game for 2+ years and ive finally picked it up again💀)#i also need to work on the dottore fic... ugh#hashtag how to get motivation
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So, how about the Thousand Year Door remaster going by the game's Japanese translation, thereby confirming Vivian is canonically a trans woman?
This was such an exciting revelation to me personally that I decided to draw fanart of Vivian repping her trans pride... alongside a certain Koopa I haven't drawn in a little while! 💙🏳️⚧️💜
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Micah Koopa#Vivian Paper Mario#Vivian TTYD#Paper Mario#Paper Mario TTYD#The Thousand Year Door#Super Mario#Koopsona#Medibang Paint Pro#Coolness#Honestly? I never thought I'd live to see the day Nintendo include a transfeminine character in one of their games#Like yeah I understand that's how it's always been in the Japanese version but like#They could have just as easily copy-pasted the entire script of the English localization and called it a day#So the fact that they reverted the erasure of Vivian's trans identity for the remaster is... admirable actually#I own the original TTYD and have it... someplace. I never got very far so I don't necessarily have an attachment to Vivian#Though I can 100% see that changing with the remaster's ease of access— you just KNOW I had to draw something to celebrate!#Sometime soon I'd like to do a modern two-frame idle for Micah Koopa alongside Mario himself#Seeing as I have a sprite animation of her drawn in the style of Paper Mario on the N64#I'm basically just looking for excuses to draw her at this point.#Did you know that she has a butch Hammer Bro girlfriend? Once I finalize her design you may get to see her too... 👀
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Golden Burial Gown - The gown of one who courted a demon, and in their dance was the soil poisoned.
#live a live#live a live spoilers#that’s an item description from the game. may or may not have replayed the final chapter to find the exact wording lmao#anyway I think abt that item sometimes. it’s the only one and it’s in an out of the way room and it’s not even Good#so I get the idea it’s supposed to be more of a storytelling device#more likely it refers to alethea. but I like the metaphor of oersted ‘courting’ the manifestation of his own pain and hate#and i think the imagery kinda shows an aspect of oersted that I rly like#which is that he’s simultaneously the villainous mastermind in control of everything but also kind of helpless#idk man. blonde man live in my brain forever#megalomania monday#luminous-art#<-new art tag? maybe?
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What’s Mycheal’s love language?
I've actually answered this before! With the release of Day 2, now you know Words of Affirmation really really really work on him.
#mushroom oasis vn#mychael ask#im so happy i finally get to apply it in game#that previous answer was from May!!#MAY!!!
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