#i mashed everyone in
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zephyrchama · 28 days ago
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🎁🥔
Beelzebub and Mammon made their presence very well known when they entered the living room, with heads held high and chests puffed out proudly. They were a little sweaty and disheveled but strangely upbeat. Beelzebub was clearly concealing something behind his back. Mammon had his nose pointed so far up, it was almost a challenge to the Avatar of Pride's moniker.
You looked up from the couch and asked, "What's up, guys?" Feeling for all the world like a kindergarten teacher about to play a game with their students.
"We got you something," Beelzebub said with a pleasant smile. It was almost entirely drowned out by Mammon's loud boasting.
"You won't believe what I found. You're 'bout to be real grateful, so get our praise ready."
They plopped down into seats on either side of you, Beelzebub careful not to jostle the mystery in his hand.
It wasn't every day they made a big deal out of giving you something. Normally, they'd just do it. Your interest was piqued. "What is it?"
They smirked at each other. Both demons wanted to drag out the suspense, but were also too impatient to wait much longer. Still in their school uniforms, they probably rushed straight home as soon as they procured their present. After grinning for several prolonged seconds in self-satisfaction, Mammon snapped his fingers dramatically. "Show 'em, Beel!"
Beelzebub placed the gift in your lap as if it were made of the finest glass.
It was a potato.
"A human world potato," Beelzebub explained, as if there was any doubt.
"Ya don't see this in the Devildom everyday. We thought you'd like a human treat every once 'n a while."
It was green and wrinkly, with multiple spuds sprouting out the top. It looked like somebody had dropped it behind a shelf and found it months later through smell alone. It was impossible to discern if it had been washed recently or if, at this point, the slimy and moist texture was just this tuber's natural state of existence.
Two sets of eyes filled with anticipation were locked on to your face, scrutinizing its every move. They were waiting for their shower of praise. You forced an awkward smile and laughed with strained excitement. "A potato! Wow, thanks guys!"
"What are you gonna make with it?" Beelzebub was eager to know.
"I'm not sure." You gazed at the gift. You kind of wanted to fling it off your legs before your skin started crawling. Though, you couldn't insult the brothers after their hard work. It was time to start lying through your teeth. "I'm so touched. Really. That you went and got... this potato for me. I kind of want to keep it as a memento!"
Mammon waved his hand to dismiss your idea. "Nah, don't hold back! I paid a pretty hefty sum to get a hold a' this, y'know."
Your heartstrings twinged with guilt. To avoid stirring Beelzebub and his endless stomach, Mammon leaned over towards your ear. "Fry it, bake it, boil it. It's all yours," he whispered. "'Long as you're happy, yeah?"
You were not happy. Every day with these demons brought a fresh source of stress. At least you were never dull.
"Solomon once said that green vegetables are good for humans," Beelzebub revealed.
You twirled your head around so fast that you accidentally bumped Mammon in the nose and asked, "You actually took food advice from Solomon?"
"Only after Belphie confirmed it," he clarified. So they did do their research.
While that was usually true, this was an incredibly unfortunate exception. You could not bring yourself to consume the sad green potato. You needed a new idea.
"Can human plants be cultivated in the Devildom? I want to plant this, and then we'll have more potatoes we can all share." The wet sensation on your leg only grew more unpleasant and you wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. "Let's go plant it out back and see."
The siblings began talking over one again again, saying, "My human's got a heart of gold" and "I'd like that" while squeezing you with bear hugs from either size. It jostled the potato and you feared it would start leaking more.
"Let's go, let's go!" you ushered, eager to give this old vegetable a proper burial. You could vaguely hear Mammon brag to his younger brother, "I told you this was a great idea, they're gonna be thankin' us for weeks," as you raced towards the doorway.
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bjs-dumb-hat · 4 months ago
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I love when artists on tumblr will yassify hawkeye like this. please never stop, y’all are doing god’s work
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hballegro · 2 months ago
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HAPPY PILOT ANNIVERSARY
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pleasureprose · 10 months ago
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tigersfaith · 7 months ago
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season 2 episode 21: crisis
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nootnootles · 10 months ago
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I've been cooking some mashfinn doodles :) I hope everyone is enjoying season 2! I sure am
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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t00thpasteface · 11 months ago
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idk why he's my fav but i imprinted on him like a baby bird
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anyroads · 3 months ago
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British people: these avocados must go they're past their prime please won't someone eat them
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The avocados:
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peachy-keenss · 14 days ago
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They did the WHAT??? IT WAS A GRAVEYARD WHAT???? Introducing the monster mash! Sorta. I still need to make designs. A simple au where everyone’s a spooky ghoul. (With lore…) but thats the main jist
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saltseashark · 2 years ago
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(splashes color all over mash characters) for u hawkeye. no more olive drab
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dailyarturiartfgo · 1 year ago
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Summer shenanigans
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mylittleredgirl · 8 months ago
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i realized this definition is missing from my mental glossary, and instead of just asking what it means, i'm making a poll!
none of this has to be an x-reader situation if you engage with your favorite characters in a different way! if you know what it means but don't have one of your own you can still answer with your definition, but i also included an i don't know option at the bottom.
if you have more than one & it's different for different characters i'd love to hear about it and get more confused!!
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comickergirl · 2 months ago
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🛰️!!
🛰️ : A storyline you want to be adapted in animation or live action
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Repurposed an idea I had for Kryptober last year to answer this one XD
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set-the-world-aflame · 2 months ago
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Ok yes BJ knowing Hawkeye's stitches is one thing but the whole OR knowing too?? They all love him sm
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tma-thoughts · 4 months ago
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Watching MASH after watching modern shows is lowkey kind of refreshing because everyone in MASH looks like a normal fucking person. Hawkeye is greying. Radar is balding. Margaret has wrinkles. Nobody is concerned with being drop-dead gorgeous (aside from Klinger, of course). I think it's good to remind yourself that not everyone has to be beautiful all the time
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