#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
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in my mind a huge internal struggle of buffy’s is trying to always make sure she deserves the pedestal that she is put on ( mostly by the scoobies ) which is why her being around faith and spike is refreshing bc i think they also put her on a pedestal but in a different way… like if she were to fall off it , they would just build her a new one vs the scoobies who wouldn’t understand and would judge her harshly , for lack of a better term. and so i think this also translates into a specific tenderness tht she only has w them and one tht i rly loveeeeeee writing
#i don’t know if this makes sense but it makes sense to me ?#the scoobies treat her like a saint vs faith and spike who treat her like their savior ?#which comes w it’s own issues but#idk !!!! i’m just trying to say like i have this idea of the three of them#and it translates into my writing bc buffy feels more relaxed around them i think#anyways!!!!!#the point is is that i love them#whtvr#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
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thinking about a universe where buffy moves them out to boston bc dawn got into harvard and where dawn goes buffy goes - mostly bc i think she would love the east coast and winter so much
#i am always thinking abt post series buffy and the weight thats lifted off her shoulders#an opportunity for her to really take care of dawn and make sure she's nurtured and healing and safe#also it snowed yesterday where i am and i was driving at night#and i just kept thinking#buffy in sunnydale's fave season is fall#but buffy in the dead of a massachusetts' winter with snow and fog lighting up the cemeteries#she would love it sm she would thrive and the cute winter outfits ! would slay#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
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buffy eating xander in the yellowjackets verse Real and Canon
#and its like i do love u xander but you're cooked#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#yes im officially tagging it lmao#cannibalism /
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i missed the boop day rip but buffy would be so overwhelmed with all of her boops. she'd get a boop from spike first, ( which she would ignore ifjeifjeir ) and she'd boop back the scoobies, and dawnie would get double booped .. and the only person she would boop first is cordelia of course
#going through the horrors › ooc.#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#this is so silly and fun tho kind of sad i missed it
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too many missed opportunities for a buffy/anya/spike trio where buffy's just asking them questions like what was the first movie u watched and the first song u listened to and was nosferatu real ??? and what kind of hair did u have in the 80s, whats ur fave matisse painting and did/do u read jane austen ??
#buffy's fave austen novel is emma btw <3#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
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faith is like ... buffy wants to be good, but she knows what she's capable of. she spends her life killing and killing and she has to be good, bc if she's not then what does that make her ? she can't love the fight, can't relish in it, can't enjoy it because then she's bad. there's no fun to be had, there's only kill or get killed.
and cordy is like ... buffy wants to just be a girl. she wants to date boys, so she dates owen and angel and she's best friends with xander. so cordelia wants to date owen and angel and xander and then she even likes wesley because that's buffy's watcher. and buffy's hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, she's the slayer !
and willow is like ... buffy just wants friends. she wants to feel normal, and willow makes her feel normal. willow accepts her, she's safe and she's there. and then willow brings her back from the dead and suddenly they're not the same buffy and willow that they used to be. willow wants a quick fix for everything and buffy knows that the world doesn't work like that.
and anya is like ... she's buffy's constant. they understand each other, because they know exactly what they should be. a demon and a vampire slayer and they'll always be against each other, even if love gets in the way. and buffy needs anya because buffy needs the truth, the unfiltered, honest, truth that sometimes people can't give her, because they're blinded by what she his, and how she's good, but anya knows and sees her and understands her.
and spike is like ... he knows what buffy is and he's still in love with her. this is who she is now, this is what life has done to her and her friends can't accept that. but you know who does ? spike ... he wants her, he loves her, he'd die for her. he's always there for her. but he's empty just like her and she can't even look at him because she hates herself and he's everything that she is. if she loves him back, then she's loving herself too, even though she's wrong, even though she came back wrong. and if she allows herself to be loved by him, then that means it's over. he'll leave. because when she loves, and is loved back, they all leave.
#ok maybe i cooked#going through the horrors › ooc.#spuffy /#long post /#and also like something so real to me is like anya and buffy get each other in a way no one else does bc#like they have no delusions#especially anya tho really like the demon v slayer thing is lost on spike bc he's romance he's putting ppl on a pedastal#he's the fool for love ... u know ???#but anya is a demon who doesn't want to be human and then has to deal with her human emotions#and she's so self aware#does this make sense !!#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#im so scared personals are going to reblog so i made this non - reblog-able fkiejfiej im so traumatized
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quick headcanon i always felt like buffy had some sort of “ spidey / sixth sense ” when it comes to vampires. like yes she�� could tell them apart, pick them from a crowd easily ; especially since they stood out with the way they dressed / looked in general … but also on dark cemetery nights, when they were just creeping up quietly behind her , her and them amongst wide open space … it’s more than just a visual thing, it’s a feeling. she can sense them … that’s a part of a slayers ability ! it's not an immediate thing , but it helps with her reaction time mostly. helps her get ahead , feel where they're attacking from. i also think she has a bit of night vision, probably not as good or clear as maybe what a vampire has, but that comes into play because she’s always fighting them at night , so i think it’s an elevated type of vision … it’s just a bit better than what a normal person would be able to see at night, and helps her in her lil slayer duties <3
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what kind of herb are you ?
garlic. you leave an impression wherever you go. your heart is so strong, so determined, so willing to go after whatever hole you see in the world, whatever wound you need to fix next. you're there. you're justice, hot red and pure gold, fairness incarnate, a paladin in shining armor come to protect and cleanse and heal and yet sometimes you wonder if you're the most corrupt, dirty being in the world, a fraud, a monster in hero's clothing. the world is so intense and you are so small, so fragile, and no matter how hard you try you're never good enough. you want to be good. you want to be good enough. you try so hard and yet the world is so dark and angry and cruel. perfection is always just out of reach and you want things to be okay so bad you bleed with it. you just want things to be right, to be good, to be fair, but you don't know if they ever can be. if you can ever be.
tagged by: @aalexias ty <3 tagging: @wickedlehane @ashesrebirthed @oneyedchicklet @crownedhopelesss <3333
#dash games /#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#multis btvs muse maybe ? i would love to see it
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in my mind (the best place to be) xander and buffy were in constant competition over who could dress better (and sometimes they picked out each others outfits <3)
#frankly . and this might be an unpopular opinion but#xander comes out on top like his outfits were so good#but he also will never beat buffy's post parker coitus shirt or like any of her backless tops tbh#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
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ok been putting this off for some time now but it needs to be said. some divergences under the cut
big thing is bangel, i don't really believe that she ever gave him 'hope' in season 7, cookie dough analogy aside, that they'd ever be anything other than what they had been for the last 4 years which was basically just exes who talked about saving the world sometimes. i think that they're just really so much cuter and so much funnier as friends and exes and two people who know that they fundamentally do not belong together, and that's ok. angel was so important to her, changed her, their relationship effected her years down the line ( riley too ) but he's the boyfriend she was in love with when she was a child. and i think apart of buffy growing and learning, is that she's never really going to be able to love him the same way she once did because she's not that girl anymore. and that's ok !! idk what the comics do with them, idrc, i just do know that their breakup/and the staying broken up is really essential to the way i write buffy. also think my beloved cordelia was much better suited for angel than buffy ever was. david fury said something about angel needing a "big smile" and he was right.
ok now the thing i've kinda been dreading lol spikey ... lets talk about spuffy yeah!! so... given all that we know, these 20+ years later, i think im just going to get to the point which is i don't acknowledge the writers' decision to make him an attempted rapist, don't care for it, i pretend like that scene in seeing red never happened. and there's layers to why, but basically, i just think it was unnecessary. the writers' way of punishing not only the audience for making a "soulless" vampire the fan favorite/forcing wh*don to keep him around, but also punishing buffy herself for having sex with him and enjoying it !! there's a lot of implications in that scene, i could go on forever but it was very cheap of them to do it, and basically in my head, spike doesn't need this scene to prompt him into getting the soul back because season six had already been a really good set up for that ie. when warren kills katrina / frames buffy and spike attempts to help her by getting rid of the body etc. it's the "why can't you understand why this is killing me?" and "i dont know why don't you try explaining it" im paraphrasing but that right there is enough for me and most of the audience to understand exactly why he would have gone to get his soul for her. also the "i know im not a man but u make me feel like one." but also just spike's general im not a man im not a demon then what am i ? arc !!! like its right there. i dont need to see my favorite character almost get sa'd by my other favorite character for that point to get across. it was definitely a condescending moment from the writers' room, we see it time and time again. ( most recently we saw it with aegon ii in house of the dragon ) "how do we make a character so evil how do we make the audience hate him ? ah yes rapist !" and im just not going to play into that <3 ( but there is also the subtext and very meaningful metaphor of spike being buffy's shadow self in s5/s6, he is empty w/out the soul - she is empty after being brought back/coming back wrong. he regains his soul in s7, and she is able to heal & love herself etc. etc. )
that's how i feel about that but also !!! i am a lesbian and this relationship has always spoken to me in a very queer way this post explains it so well. i rly suggest everyone read bc thats like . my mind
#about angel and spike#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#kinda#why are you full of rage ? / because you are full of grief › meta.#sa mention /#assault mention /#grooming mention /#rape mention /
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personally think the scoobies should have smoked weed more
#drug mention /#liikkke ... ur telling me in s4 they weren't just having a good sesh in xander's basement#they were#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#i. we may in fact stand between the earth and its total destruction › scoobies.
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buffy has early memories (fake/but real to both of them!!!!!!!) of dawn and these little letters that she'd push under buffy's door when dawn was extra mad at buffy about something.
it's just ripped up paper with dawn's messy handwriting that says " i hate you!!!!! - dawn" bc what are sisters really for !
#like buffy doesn't let dawn play with her and her friends#so she gets that little note under her door as revenge#and then when they're both older#anytime she gives buffy a gift it's just accompanied with a little “i hate you love dawn” note on it#and buffy tears up bc like yeah maybe she's just a key maybe she's just energy but she's her key she's her energy she's her sister!!!!#and i love them#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#i. there's an ache in you / put there by the ache in me › dawn.
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more tags
she who hangs out a lot in cemeteries › ic.
i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.
death is your gift › study.
i may be dead but im still pretty › visuals.
nobody asked if i was ready › aesthetics.
if the apocalypse comes / beep me ! › answered.
why are you full of rage ? / because you are full of grief › meta.
i. suck the rot right out of my bloodstream › spike.
i. there's an ache in you / put there by the ache in me › dawn.
i. i am the shape you made me › giles.
i. a mother's shame can haunt a daughter's body › joyce.
i. my reflection and i were like rival animals › faith.
i. i was missing not a place but a person › willow.
i. he is my brother and i need a shovel to love him › xander.
i. everyone i love is not here › tara.
i. you are the only people i'd surrender my softness to › anya.
i. of course we were no full moon › oz.
i. as a penance / a lesson / a source of profitable humiliation › riley.
i. the kind of dream people have only when they're seventeen › angel.
dawn : there's an ache in you / put there by the ache in me
giles : i am the shape you made me
joyce : a mother's shame can haunt a daughter's body
faith : my reflection and i were like rival animals
willow : i was missing not a place but a person
tara : everyone i love is not here
xander : he is my brother and i need a shovel to love him
anya : you are the only people i'd surrender my softness too
oz : of course we were no full moon
riley - as a penance / a lesson / a source of profitable humiliation
angel - the kind of dream people have only when they're seventeen
spike - suck the rot right out of my bloodstream
what i am aches in me
the shame of being seen consumes me
#she who hangs out a lot in cemeteries › ic.#i make a mockery of death and a spectacle of survival › hc.#death is your gift › study.#i may be dead but i'm still pretty › visuals.#nobody asked if i was ready › aesthetics.#if the apocalypse comes / beep me ! › answered.#why are you full of rage ? / because you are full of grief › meta.#i. suck the rot right out of my bloodstream › spike.#i. there's an ache in you / put there by the ache in me › dawn.#i. i am the shape you made me › giles.#i. a mother's shame can haunt a daughter's body › joyce.#i. my reflection and i were like rival animals › faith.#i. i was missing not a place but a person › willow.#i. he is my brother and i need a shovel to love him › xander.#i. everyone i love is not here › tara.#i. you are the only people i'd surrender my softness to › anya.#i. of course we were no full moon › oz.#i. as a penance / a lesson / a source of profitable humiliation › riley.#i. the kind of dream people have only when they're seventeen › angel.#long post /#this is what happens when im struck with inspiration#jfc#going through the horrors › ooc.
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