#i made this on the train bc i felt sad and gay

[atopvisenyashill]

shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling you can say it’s just the way you are make a new excuse, another stupid reason

[simpingland]

Something something like protective male stark reader (who grew up on dragonstone) x lucerys :333 when they went to kingslanding bc luke's inheritance brought into question, he makes his direwolf attack and cut off pieces of vaemond in front of everyone. At the dinner table he throws aemond across the room with a punch not even a second after aemond calls them "strong"

He tells luke when they're alone that no one will dare hurt him as long as reader is breathing

Okie thnk u I love your fic!!!!!!

Touch and Protection// Lucerys Velaryon x Male!Stark!Reader

Summary: reader has spend more than six years in love with Lucerys. But only when the times get difficult, one has to protect the things we love the most.

A/N: sorry for the delay. I swear I'll be working with the rest of my request. Hope you all like it. I have a fanfic about Luke being very gay as well, so you might like that one as well.

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From the moment you set foot on Dragonstone with the then puppy Fiery Hoof, your beloved direwolf, you felt something for Prince Lucerys that you never recognised before. The love between the two of you grew naturally, you were the same age, you shared the day together and you soon discovered that your relationship was very different from the one you might have had with Rhaena, Baela or Jace. Your heart yearned for his constantly and you made it clear to him how much you wanted him.

Luke, on the other hand, was more attentive to his own problems, which were far more than yours. And that's how you found him on the beach, pensive. He heard your wolf scampering and turned to pet him, letting you watch him from a distance. News had come of Vaemond and his request to claim Driftmark and that would mean he would overthrow any rights Luke had.

"Do you think Vaemond will bring many men?" he asked when he saw you arrive.

"He may bring hundreds, and your grandfather will still not cede it to him. Corlys himself named you, I heard it too." You remembered that sad day at Driftmark, when Luke was the only person who spoke to you soon after you arrived south.

"If I tell you the truth...a part of me would be relieved to lose Driftmark." He stopped petting Hoof, and you could see his sadness right there. You would have liked to run your hand over his face, to brush away his grief with a single word. But you contented yourself by lightly touching his shoulder.

"You say that now because you are afraid. But you shouldn't be afraid of anything...not while I'm here."

Her face lit up with affection, and he placed his hand over yours. Lucerys may have known how deeply in love you were with him, though he had never done anything to suppress it, nor anything to reciprocate. Still, your hope kept you by his side.

Back in Kingslanding, Burning Hoof walked happily through the castle, Jace and Luke were your guides, showing you around the castle from top to bottom. You were sorry the journey was over, for on the boat Luke had spent the day clinging to you, letting him lean on you when he got seasick. And in the carriage you'd been cramped together, the wolf between your legs, your hands rubbing together when there were bumps. Luke seemed much calmer now, returning to his childhood with his brother, and happy to show it to you too. Hoof was distracting you in the yard, looking for the stick he had asked you to throw him. And then you saw Aemond Targaryen. Though he was an impressive Prince with a sword, you looked for Lucerys in the crowd. As you guessed, his face turned from shock to terror as he remembered that he had been the one to blame for taking Aemond's eye.

"Nephews..." he said, looking at the Velaryons. "You've come for train?"

There was a veiled threat in that, and Luke and Jace, as stubborn as ever, stood, further airing the tense atmosphere. You walked up to them with the intention of distracting them, and Jace moved aside at once, but Luke needed you to gently push him aside. Vaemond's entrance with his men distracted them first. And it was that one more man who made no secret of his spite, and this time it was all for your dear Lucerys. Your hands, still clutching Luke's sleeves, came into contact with those of the Prince himself, who did not hide his fear now. You did not pull away, but overtook him with dissimulation, trying to reassure him. Only the return of Hoof was able to return Luke to a halfway calm state.

"You're going to be fine, Lucerys," you promised quietly, with the people already far away.

"With Fiery Hoof I sure will be," he replied with a shy smile.

And he turned red, though you didn't understand why. You only felt even a little jealousy. But your direwolf was too good and beautiful not to love. So you made it through the first day at the castle, strolling around while he shared with you those years in which you had remained surrounded by snow.

At night, the Prince could not sleep, and in the room you shared, for you had no room of your own there, you knew by Luke's continual movements in the bed next to yours that he was restless.

"I don't want tomorrow to come," he suddenly confessed to you. You turned to look at him, only the moon illuminating the room.

"I thought you'd rather get it over with."

"That's because I had some hope that everything would be better...but I feel like it will end even worse than it started. I didn't know so many people hated me."

"All of them? Aemond may have reasons...but Vaemond can't say the same. And they don't know you.

"But that doesn't matter," he rose from the bed, and began to pace nervously. "They're going to find some way to make me disappear..."

He fell silent as he saw you lying perfectly still on the bed, looking at him with a tired face and making it clear that you didn't want any more of his self-pity. Then he understood that he had to stop.

"How about we talk about something else?" You proposed then.

"No, don't worry...you must be tired, sleep." He wasn't lying, you were tired, but you couldn't.

"I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you're chewing your head off across the room."

You saw a smile of gratitude and affection, the one he always gave you.

"When was the first time you saw snow?" he asked, still standing.

"Well, when I was born it snowed, according to my mother..." when you repositioned yourself on the bed you didn't expect Luke's weight as he lay down next to you, on the same bed. "But I remember playing with my brothers before my youngest cousin was born..."

You barely knew what to say, for concentration had gone out the window the moment you felt Luke's eyes so close to you, guessing your face in the darkness. The warmth he gave off was better than any cloth, and he lent you his ears so lovingly that you couldn't help but speak from the heart.

"If I am honest with you, my Prince..." you said.

"Be honest, yes, I love it when you are honest," he interrupted cheerfully, making you laugh.

"Snow has always fascinated me...but it hasn't been the best impression I've ever had." You had him inches away but it felt too far away, and Luke's obtuseness put you even further away. But your heart was honest, and it was telling you everything you needed to know.

"What's been your best impression then?" he whispered, and the air turned sweet.

"The first time I saw the beach, back at Dragonstone." A thousand things went through your head, and you saw a twinkle in his eyes that made you realise that they were going on in his head too.

"That's the best place in the world for me."

"Then think of the beach and you'll see how you'll fall asleep."

"All right," he said and closed his eyes. And he lay still at last, breathing softly.

You had to fall asleep soon after, afraid that your strong heartbeat would be noticed when the silence fell. And it didn't take you long to fall asleep, unaware that Luke opened his eyes after a while. He spent the night sleepless, thinking of all the things that could go wrong and the only one that was right, you. He found comfort in running his hand through your hair, knowing that your exhaustion had taken you somewhere with sand or snow.

The room where the Iron Throne sat was clearly divided by those who liked the idea of Luke as heir and those who did not. Otto tried to keep your beloved Hoof out, but Rhaenyra insisted that he was a quiet beast and made the family more at ease against the men Vaemond had brought in. As soon as the screaming began, you felt the nervousness of Luke, who sought your gaze from time to time, and the fury of the animal, who snarled every time Vaemond raised his voice.

"What do you know of Velaryon blood, Princess?" He turned to look at Rhaenyra, and Luke felt the urge to move closer to you even if he could not. "I could cut my veins and show it to you and you still wouldn't recognize it."

Then you allowed yourself to absently stroke the fingers of the hand he held loosely, and immediately noticed how he held it close, grateful for your small support. And speeches preceded until the arrival of the king, which left everyone in stony silence. He was the one with the best intentions, naming Luke the official heir, and Rhaenys supporting his decision. Though it meant Lucerys' marriage to Rhaena, it all seemed positive, but Vaemon didn't seem convinced. Burning Hoof could sense his anger.

"You... may run your house as you see fit... but you will not decide the future of mine. My house survived the Doom and a thousand tribulations besides. And gods be damned... I will not see it ended on the account of this..."

"Say it." Those words escaped Daemon's lips, and your direwolf was already trembling beyond containment.

"Her children... are bastards! And she... is... a whore."

And then it happened, no guard dared to stop your animal, and in one bite, Vaemond lost his head right there. Maybe, and only maybe... you had let go of the leash just long enough for him to run away. You waited a short time to get in front of the few guards who had tried to approach to stop Hoof, and pushing him with your strength, you demanded that no one come near. Otto cried out to have it sacrificed, but the King never gave the order.

Between that bloody event and dinner, Luke appeared in the courtyard where you were bathing Hoof, and wordlessly helped you fill buckets with water. Clearly he was appalled.

"It wasn't your fault, you know." You told him after a while.

"Wasn't it? I'm not so sure," he replied, his soul on his feet.

"You do what you have to do. Vaemond didn't, he tried to usurp you, and he insulted you."

"But he has said truths..."

"But that they are true does not make it right. Leanor loved you, and so did Corlys..." and you loved him too, though that went without saying. Luke might notice hesitation in your eyes.

"Good thing there's you. I like it when you're around," he said at last.

The dinner was uncomfortable, and the strange peace was short-lived. Your place was between Baela and Luke, and from there you could see the engaged couple keeping you distracted. Baela was kind, as was Rhaena, and she noticed how your eyes never left Luke's profile.

"You're fond of the Prince, aren't you?" She asked you in a whisper.

"Lucerys and I are just friends..." you replied with the red in your face.

"I didn't say which prince, Lord Stark..." she smiled, knowing full well what she had discovered.

"Don't call me 'Lord Stark'...and well, Jace and I simply don't have that much in common."

"I'm just saying that your affection for Luke shows...and I can see that Hoof loves him too."

"Your sister will be happy with him, just like you are with Jace. And I'll be somewhere else, rejoicing in whatever you all achieve." That was all you could confess to him.

"Well, you may not see it, but you can tell Prince Lucerys doesn't want you to go very far away."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Baela..." You tensed at the seriousness of her words. You didn't want to get your hopes up.

"It's in the way he talks to you, and the way he looks at you. Maybe you don't notice it because you're too busy being as enthralled with him as he is with you."

That was the end of the conversation as Luke stepped in to ask you for wine. You poured it for him yourself and you could see out of the corner of your eye that his eyes were on you. And when the glass was full enough, Luke touched the hand resting on the table to let you know. And it stayed there for quite some time, gently and lovingly. You looked at it and Luke then hurriedly pushed it away, his face completely flushed. He avoided looking at you then, but when your eyes met, he could swear he saw something good in you, something that showed him that it felt good.

Things changed when the King left, the truce ended. And that's when Aemond stood up to put the violence back on the table. You could immediately feel the joy drain from Luke, expecting the worst, just as you did.

"Final tribute." And he fixed his gaze on Lucerys. "To the health of my nephews: Jace... Luke... and Joffrey. Each of them handsome, wise... hm... strong." Then you were ready to rise. "Come... let us drain our cups to these three... Strong boys.

"I dare you to say that again." You said without holding your breath. You walked up to him calmly.

"Why? 'Twas only a compliment." He looked at you then, with mockery in his voice. "Do you not think them Strong?"

Your fist went almost as fast as Burning Hoof that morning. And the screams came over you again, as Aemond soon pushed you to the ground. And Jace was quick to strike Aemond again, but Luke was heading for you when Aegon slammed him into the table. Then you realised you had made a mistake, for it was the very person you were trying to protect who ended up collaterally wounded. So you walked away as the guards pulled the Blacks away from the Greens.

Back in the privacy of your room, Luke lit a candle so he could see if the fall had bruised your side.

"I can't see anything," he reported.

"That's because there's nothing, are you okay?"

He didn't want to say anything, but only at the memory of that loud thud did your hands go to his face on their own. And carefully you ran your fingers along his jaw. And he let himself watch.

"I don't think you'll get anything...although it was a good blow."

"The roast chicken must have cushioned it," he joked, making you smile at last.

You let go, but Luke held your hand, keeping it in his. And no one spoke for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry I caused these...weird situations," you apologised, and Luke squeezed your hand affectionately.

"No, it's not your fault."

"But I have to be consistent with my honour. I didn't do the right thing, I was impulsive and I have to stick to the consequences."

"I do believe you did the right thing. Because we are friends, and friends defend and forgive each other. And you have defended me."

"Forgive?" You smiled at him, thinking it was a joke. "And what should I forgive you for, Luke?"

Luke shrugged, and you weren't fully aware when he brought his face close to yours, his nose brushing yours, and your eyes locking together. He kissed you sweetly and slowly and the world, for the third time that day, seemed to lose sound. The longed-for kiss felt like the most perfect thing in the world. You broke apart after ages.

"This for instance..." he whispered still close to your mouth.

"There is nothing, nothing, to forgive, Lucerys."

He kissed you again, and this time you could cling to him without fear, and it became a little dance around the room. And when your tiredness caught up with you, you lay in the same bed as the night before, only this time, Luke didn't wait for you to sleep before he stroked your hair.

"I never want you to leave. Please, my Lord Stark...don't ever leave."

"You know I don't need a white cloak to give you my loyalty and my protection."

"I know...I trust you. And that's why I like it when you're around. I like you."

"And I like being with you...because I like you. Ever since that first day on the beach."

He gave you one last kiss, and you let him rest on your chest. And that night you were the one who stayed up all night, your hand stroking Luke's curls, thinking about your luck and the things that will be better next to Luke. And you found something better than a dream when you looked down and saw him, resting with you.

[olivieraa]

Sometimes I think about how critical thinking isn't a core part of people's lives, especially adults, and I get sad. There has to be like, an activation moment. Something has to activate it. Kinda like people who say they took LSD and it opened their minds. Like that but without any dangerous drugs.

Or sometimes its not a moment, but a few small moments piled up. That's what it was like for me (and kinda anyone I've seen get into radical feminism).

In the earliest feminist days of tumblr, we'll go for 2012, like, the most extreme thing you'd see is a "men's tears" mug as the ultimate form of misandry. By 2013 tumblr was defo known as the feminist and gay rights website. By 2014 it got insanely political, it became widespread and has continued on this 10 long year journey of becoming extremely anti-women and anti-gay, which sucks bc it was the opposite of reddit. And now both sites are the same.

But to revert back to my personal experiences with it, you can see it. On the earliest pages of my blog. I reblogged things from friends and I would tag these posts with confusion. From porn, to asexuality, to religion, to kinks, to makeup, etc. I just... knew those posts felt wrong to me. But ALL my friends were reblogging them with no tags. So they either completely agreed with said posts or partially agreed. But I was the only one questioning those posts.

But also, I was also the only non-American, which turned out to be a very important difference. Like, I would reblog some things and say shit like "idk how I feel about this post... but I'll reblog it and do some research or look into it later". Americans have a.................... very hard problem doing that.

And then by actually looking into those things, ACTUALLY. LOOKING. INTO. THOSE. THINGS. you find out there's a huge problem there, actually. By using critical thinking, you realise all these "feminist" things are super anti-women. But liberal women, esp liberal American women, are so convinced, without looking into it, that they're not anti-women. And there's so much clear evidence. Like its really clear, really obvious.

Just so its not a long paragraph, I wont go into every detail on this, but to take one category - Beauty standards. Even standards in general. Lets go with those awful standards men have to deal with. The two things they claim are constantly brought up. Height and dick size. Especially height. He HAS to be over 6ft. This is brought up constantly. But then there's also so many videos debunking both those standards, and those videos (aside from one memorable one) were made by women. Basically saying shit about how most women are still dating men only slightly taller than them, and most women collectively agree that size doesn't matter.

Now the beauty standards for women. Almost every single inch of a woman has to fit a preference, from having big boobs to a narrow waist to big hips to a big ass, but also not be too big or small, but the exact size a man wants it cause weight distribution works that way. From men wanting "natural" women when you can look at any pic of man's ultimate fantasy Pamela Anderson without her makeup and everyone telling her she looks like she's sick or dying. Same with J.Lo. Men want women to look as natural as she can WHILE wearing makeup. Like, she has to look like she's not wearing it. Again, to fit exactly the way he wants it. Have long af hair but shave every inch if you bar eyebrows cause hair is very bad and ugly. To not be muscular because that's too masculine so basically don't stay at the gym too long to train those biceps, but also if a man attacks you on a night out to the club and you can't defend yourself cause you're so delicate and feminine, you just shouldn't be going out without him! Also dont get old, no greys no no. I've seen men bash cosmetic surgery while their biggest fantasies end up being women who have had cosmetic surgery, but men are so STUPID they cant tell unless its really obvious. Like women knew for a long time that Ariana Grande did a bunch of things to her face, but men thought she was so insanely hot. But would bash Kylie Jenner for what she did to her face bc the differences on Kylie were much more obvious. Ok I really could go on and on here, its way too long.

Men end up saying shit like "oh my girl likes me with a beard, she hates when I shave". The liberal feminist girlfriend, who has never heard of critical thinking, will nod her head in agreement and say, "yep, that's my preference." Oh dont worry, honey. He loves your preference. Your preferences generally boil down to him not having to do jack shit. "Oh I'm a feminist but I'd definitely be turned off if my man shaved his legs and armpits. But I shave mine because I want to!" Yes, again, no effort on his part no no. But effort on your part yes yes. Because you want to, mhmm.

So his natural state is your preference. He's totally sitting there groaning like, "Ugh I'm so good to my girlfriend! the look I'm sporting is based on what she likes. All I have to do is wake up, brush my teeth, maybe shower and boom. I'm ready for her. Again, I'm so good to my girlfriend. Oh btw she loves my effortless dad bod too. That's why I don't go to the gym. For HER obviously. I'm just so good to her. Look what I do for her."

And then her mindset is, "Oh I shave on an almost daily basis for me. Not for him. I don't conform to standards for him. I shave, pluck my eyebrows, keep my hair long and inconvenient, overdo it on my skincare, have pretty lashes and nails and dress up in cute outfits and keep in shape, buy cute lingerie, the list goes on and on. I do that for me! They happen to be his standards, sure, but its for me! Makeup, shaving, skin routines are all feminist because they're a choice! And feminism at its core is choice! It's definitely not that I'm afraid if I decide to act exactly like him and let my leg hair grow out to the point its a competition between us, or get a cute pixie hair cut so its less effort to wash, or not wear makeup and all that, that he'll then decide to look elsewhere! Definitely not! And its very un-feminist to think that I'm making these choices (where I put in an insane amount of effort for my scrub of a boyfriend who does absolutely nothing and yet I'm insanely attracted to him) for me and me alone!"

Like... You can ofc do those things. Nobody is telling you not to. The problem, the main problem here, is you are deluding yourself into this idea that every decision you've made in terms of beauty standards, was a choice you made that wasn't heavily influenced by other factors. From standards pushed on you since you were a kid. From insecurity. From fear.

I wear makeup. Almost daily. But I acknowledge it for what it is. It is absolutely not a feminist act or a feminist choice. A feminist act would be rejecting makeup and standards. But that then is considered a radical act. Thus, its a part of radical feminism. And I'm not a radical feminist for a few reasons, but one of them would be that I'm just not brave enough to believe in my natural state. I'm not brave enough to wear a dress during summer with hairy legs. I'm not brave enough to go to the shops without giving myself at least 15 mins beforehand to put makeup on.

So many women refuse to give up shaving and wearing makeup, and that's fine (not that its fine, its actually awful but I cant blame them). However, where radfems get pissed off is the "makeup is power, because its a choice!" liberal feminist bullshit. These women absolutely refuse to believe that they're conforming to standards for anyone other than themselves. That it's still a feminist action, and that they are feminists themselves!

Imagine going to a cocktail party. And there's 50 men and 50 women all dressed up. What are majority of the women likely to be wearing? Dresses. Some in trousers, sure, but mostly dresses. Let's say 40 out of the 50 women. I can guarantee you, 100% of those women have perfectly smooth, shaved legs and armpits. Every single one of them in a dress. And lets pretend 30 of those 40 women in those dresses claim to be feminists. They're still conforming to the exact same standards as the 10 women who aren't feminists. Perfectly shaved, makeup on, hair done, nails done (perhaps even made appointments for all of them). Absolutely none of these women made the choice to wear a dress but keep the legs hairy. Or wear a dress but no makeup. Why? Fear. The amount of judgement they would get in a room of 100 people. What are men doing? They showered (maybe). Possibly trimmed their beard? Yeah. That's about it.

Like why is the critical thinking so hard for them. Literally, LITERALLY, just stop and think. That's it. That's IT. Think, and question why you're about to do that thing. Like actually look into it.

This is so so hard for people, but there's nobody worse at it than liberal feminist women.

And it was BECAUSE I would see these posts on my dash for years back in the day and actually research the posts, that I got in trouble with my libfem friends for not just like, believing these posts were right and accurate and I shouldn't question them, is why I knew liberal feminism had this awful cult mindset, and these women will literally wish death on you for not agreeing with them.

Absolute crazy nonsense.

This post is so long and yet I only said a fraction of what I wanted to say on beauty standards alone. Imagine the porn talk, or the transitioning talk. I dont even think I could condense either of those as much as I did with beauty standards.

The absolute refusal for people to use their brains before making a so-called "choice" is why I have so little hope for humans in general. There's just no thinking going on in there. This is why I'm just..... so not bothered anymore about discussions. They lead absolutely nowhere because the person I'm talking to has convinced themselves of something with very little to go by. Prob just because they were told to believe a thing and they were like, "ok!"

[oivsyo]

Why I’m still creating for Narutoverse?

The thing is, thanks to one particular thread on Twi, I’ve figured out that I only watched Shippuden until episode 54 in my teenagehood. Now I have watched it selectively up to the end ofc, but I think this  fact is the reason why I didn't give up on Naruto and it still inspires me. I grew up during the best years of Naruto and skipped the downfall of the story, so I mostly have positive memories about the story and characters.

It all started when I was 14? (now I don't remember exactly), and my friends brought me anime titled Naruto on a flash drive, because then I didn't have the Internet yet. They said 'try this, you may like it'

OG and the beginning of Shippuden were very good. VERY GOOD.

OG is generally my favorite part of the story, the characters shone in all their glory and developed very logically. It's no surprise that these characters have made so many people fall in love with them. Also in OG, the tone of the story was completely different. The world was more cruel and gloomy, more realistic. In the first OG arc, there are two ambiguous antagonists who die dramatically in the end. The fights were about taijutsu, weapon and strategy - exactly what you would expect from a ninja story. Yes, even in OG there are many inconsistencies and plot holes, but this story IS fascinating. The Chunin exam arc is still one of my favorite arcs of all Naruto.

The space on the flash drive on which the episodes were brought to me was very small, and I couldn’t watch many episodes in a row. So I have watched many of them over and over again. I remember that before the start of the summer holidays, my friend brought me episodes with Neji VS Kidomaru. I've been tormented for 3 months about not knowing if Neji would survive. With the beginning of the new school year, my friend brought me new series with a sequel, and it turned out to be Shippuden right away.

Shippuden started very cheerfully and confidently. Euphoria that I experienced bc my favorite characters returned was beyond any words. Characters matured, their designs changed. 

Sakura immediately became my goddess because the growth of her character was very much felt compared to all the others. From a useless and annoying crybaby, she became strong, strong-willed, skilled, she became a real kunoichi. I’m sad that her development and training were not shown properly, but even so the impression was very good. It's not an exaggeration to say that Sakura from early  Shippuden, was a role model that I wanted to look up to as a teenager.

In the first arc team Gai was shown. Neji’s redesign won my young heart, probably it‘s Neji to blame that I’ve developed a crush for long haired men. Even though his interactions with Hinata were not shown in the beginning, it felt like he had changed a lot and softened up towards everyone. 

I also really liked Hinata's design, but I remember at that moment I thought - ‘ how could she grow such long hair in such a short period of time? Apparently the Hyuga clan has some special recipes for hair care’. That was one of the reasons why in my AU I decided to make the timeskip longer - 4years instead of 2,5.

I really wanted to see how the grown-up Neji and the more self-confident Hinata interact with each other. I was sure that it would be an arc dedicated to the Hyuga clan and how the two of them, with the help of Naruto ofc, change the clan. Unfortunately, my aspirations were not destined to come true.

Ep 41 where Naruto loses control and hurts Sakura - is a chef's kiss. The fox feels like an absolute evil with which such a sunny and good person like Naruto has to deal with. Aand ofc Naruto wa supposed to loose control bc this evil is too much for  him. Naruto being possessed by the demon and hurting his beloved ones is a theme that I like and I'm very sad that it was wasted.

An intriguing and long-awaited meeting with Sasuke - a moment that is well engraved in my memory as one of the last ones I watched. 

Then I abandoned watching Naruto and anime in general for reasons I can’t remember, but probably it was because of graduating from school. Some years later I heard the news that Hinata confessed to Naruto and that Neji died in the manga, but at that time it didn’t make a big impression on me, firstly, I wasn’t already involved that much, secondly, I had a premonition for a long time that if Neji and Hinata are not supposed to be a couple at the end, then one of them will definitely die - most likely Neji, bc MC needs a girlfriend. So when I found out that Neji died protecting Hinata and Naruto, I just thought "NejiHina is canon and now it’s confirmed". But it didn't become a traumatic dramatic experience for me. I also remember everyone hyping that the Naruto manga was over. I even read the last chapter. I felt a slight sadness at the sight of Hinata at Neji's grave and that story that had a strong influence on me when I was a teenager is over. That was it. I again forgot about Naruto for a very long time.

Two years ago, in a rather difficult period of my life, I experienced an irresistible urge to watch Naruto. And I did it. I had a very mixed impression of what I saw.

Perhaps the last arc that I liked was the arc when Asuma was killed. I liked the villains, I liked the drama of Asuma/Kurenai, of InoShikaCho and Shikamaru’s personal growth. It was good. 

Then I witnessed the degradation of the plot, the characters - of everything. I don't know what was the reason, but the series just got boring. Previously interesting and deep characters have turned into cardboard mannequins. 

The more Shippuden developed, the more villains that “were not villains” appeared. There was no one comparable to Zabuza and Haku or Orochimaru from OG. A breath of fresh air for me was Hidan and Kakuzu, who simply enjoy making a fuss, torturing and killing.

The whole atmosphere of the series has become somehow very sterile and toothless. Naruto as a character became very shallow and at times even annoying for me. Becoming stronger and gaining new powers he at the same time stopped developing as a charater. Probably the only time I liked Naruto in late Shippuden was when Naruto got depressed because of Sasuke in the Land of Iron.  

The fights bacame more spectacular, but were no longer as interesting as in the beginning, now everything has turned into “who has a bigger and stronger technique”. 

Kaguya as a villain is just nothing. She is just a doll, very powerful, but a doll. Moreover, even such a powerful doll was subsequently weakened for the sake of the plot. In general, this "for the sake of the plot" is what characterizes Shippuden, especially the later episodes. The characters do and say what is necessary for the sake of the plot, because of which they feel like fools or cardboard for me. New characters appear to replace the old ones, which are not developed enough, the final battle of the war, where the villains hatch one from the other almost saying "It was me, Dio!" and “I’m stronger than the previous one!”

For example, I know that a lot of people like Madara, but for me he is almost never remembered, just one of war arc villains. Although I can’t deny that the intrigue about him was built up really well. And i like his design.

Akatsuki, who made an impression of a very serious opponent for the characters in the OG and the beginning of Shippuden, in fact turned out to be just an unorganized group of people who weren't so scary. It’s still not very clear for me why many members of the organization are there at all.

Itachi.... He used to be one of my favorite male characters. But the “the truth is that he is a good guy’ seemed far-fetched to me. Probably because it wasn't planned from the beginning so his previous actions contradict a lot with his intentions. Therefore, none of his good intentions forgive his asshole attitude towards Sasuke in OG. The fact that his "ingenious plan" worked is only due to the fact that it was necessary for the plot. To me, he was a very cool protagonist, but trying to make him an anti-hero only ruined him. However, I still think Itachi looks awesome.

I have not much to say about the events after Shippuden. I watched the Last. By the way, over the past year I have watched it as many times as probably no average fan of TL has watched it (I want to redraw some scenes and need to understand the logic of the original plot very well), and my opinion about the movie has changed - for the worse, unfortunatly.

I watched Boruto a bit, 15 episodes or so and I must say that I even liked it. I’m not joking. The characters are quite interesting. The focus is not on the main character (as it was in the beginning of Naruto). I liked that the academy period was shown. Although sometimes what is happening is absurd and too fanservice, Naruto really lacked this. Because of what, it seemed that 1) the OG characters did not learn anything at the academy 2) they did not communicate with each other there all 6? years of the academy, and only after graduation, becoming genin, they began to interact.

In Boruto I especially liked Chocho, she is a beautiful goddess and I kneel before her. This girl rocks with her awesome self-esteem. I also liked Shikadai. 

However, the attitude towards the old characters and the lore of OG and even Shippuden leaves much to be desired there. When I managed to ignore the fact that Boruto is a continuation of the story for more than 500 episodes, then it hass become ok to watch. I think this is the reason for the difference in the perception of the old audience that grew up on OG and Shippuden, and the new fans who watched Boruto first. These are really two different works and it’s very difficult to perceive them together, because in some places they simply contradict each other.

And probably someone will now think - ‘well, since you don’t like everything and you complain so much, why the hell are you staying in this fandom?’ and the answer is actually quite simple - there’re a lot of things in Naruto that I really like and that inspire me. If you want a metaphor, I choose grains from a mountain of husks and this grains inspire me a lot. I have critical thinking and imagination, what’s more important - I don’t know how to love unconditionally and don’t consider this a manifestation of pure love. I see a lot of flaws in Naruto as a story, plot holes, inconsistencies, wasted characters, etc., but I still like Naruto a lot. I prefer to focus not on what I don't like, but on what I like. Such things have a greater weight for me on the scales. And thanks to this approach, I continue to do what I do with great pleasure, it keeps me productive. No, I'm not bothered  that 'it’s not like this in THE CANON!!!’(c), NEJI IS DEAD(c), and even more it doesn't bother me that someone thinks about it and that there are some ppl who don’t like my art. I like the concept of multiverses and for me Narutoverse is kinda Minecraft where you can create different stories and events useing bricks that were given in the canon. And I enjoy doing it. That's all.

What is the conclusion of all this? Well, nothing in particular, I just shared my story about Naruto bc I felt like sharing. The only thing, perhaps, if I continued to watch Naruto back then 1) most likely I would be disappointed and quit watching, the series would leave a bad impression on me and I would hardly draw Naruto after so many years 2) I had been more involved in what was happening, then Hinata's confession and Neji's death would have hurt me more, as well as many other fans who left the fandom after these events. And I just don’t take it that seriously. In general I have a rather chilling attitude to the canon, I just want to have fun and nothing else matters to me. Probably because I didn’t watch the entire series in my youth in my vision of the characters  based on OG and early  Shippuden images of the characters and I use them in my drawings ideas for drawings.

[lordendsavior]

nick's book

i loved it, i listened to its entirety while i was on the train, and made loads of notes with bits from the book i had thoughts about, and since it’s been 84 years and i still haven’t got to editing them to make a proper post, i’m just gonna copy all of them here bc i don’t want them to be gone forever:

- Drew’s words in the Introduction,

- similar with his anxiety about being a bother to other people (during the sports relief) and how different about his fear/disgust of edward the scissor hand, and how it fucked him up and how it was the first time he experienced an emotion different than pleasant (he was 7)

- sad the way he still perceives losing weight, no reflection on how he inherited the fatphobia he was met with as a child in the family, still not understanding that apart from internal gay shame, he inherited internal fat shame

- his gay awakening when seeing david beckham, asking his parents if he could put it up on his wall (he was 12)

- the way he looked at women - the way i did

- finding love targets who are unreachable, straight and/or famous

- his need for a dog, he wants them to be obsessed with him, cats are too cool for him

- like a pilled up billy elliott

- eileen’s three kidneys

- the carrot fish he got in the chinese restaurant, took with himself and then to school (that london)

- saying Hi! to mice like some demented underground snow white

- her hardness matched my softness. while i was like ‘like me like me!!!’, her demeanor was like ‘fuck off’ about Amy

- he once dressed up as jesus for his birthday and made his friends dress up as different religious characters

- the story about the adele’s shout out and how pete missed it

- he hates soup, his least favourite genre of food 🙃

- smokin weed with drake and florence after mtv awards 2010

- it felt weird knowing that at the time when i wasn’t there for myself i was there for others (leaving the radio)

[sparklespectres]

How are we feeling about book 4 of Infinity Train?

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are�� is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[ofplanetsloved]

mandatory lil 3.8 thoughts

whewwwww. we made it.

i went into the episode thinking. someone. someone is gonna die. one of the big ones. and about. two minutes before he did. i went, “i don’t think black noir is making it” and. fuck. is it good storytelling? i think maybe. Maybe. was i sad? absolutely i cried. bc while he was team homelander, he wanted revenge against the racist fuck who broke his face. and i wanted him to get that. the fight would have gone entirely differently if he had been there (and that’s definitely something i’m interesting in writing/plotting).

i was not expecting maeve to live. but ashley deleting the file was... really nice, actually. i did not expect any empathy from her, who left her assistant to die. to see empathy from her was shocking in a way that i’m really compelled.

as of right now, i don’t give a fuck about victoria neumann. i think it’s funny that jim beaver is playing robert singer again. and sure, i guess this sets up next season, but i care more about ryan.

ryan. hoooo. at first i thought him being there was really fucking dumb. and him being the reason that homelander walks away was kind of... anticlimactic? but this is only season three so . i didn’t think that butcher or homelander would die. i mean, fuck, they didn’t even kill soldier boy.

however. ryan at the end. that shit was compelling. that little smile. seeing how power can corrupt at such a young age.

the todd arc was really well done— like, it wasn’t subtle. he was clearly becoming a neonazi. they didn’t try to hide that. but that moment with his cheer... whoa.

maeve and hughie’s friendship is so much to me.

kimiko my fucking wife. listen to your 80s music and kick ass for comrade frenchie.

a-train and deep... i’m curious to see what’s next for them. cassandra clearly has her moment in the spotlight, but also... her name’s cassandra. i don’t imagine people are going to believe her, you know? or maybe i’m just a mythic bitch. and a-train... i’ve always liked a-train as a character. he does do what he thinks is the right thing. it just. it just doesn’t work.

okay. so. starlight is my wife. she’s perfect. she’s everything to me. we know this. i’m so happy she got her ‘i FUCKING told you so’ and her moment with maeve at the end made me cry but. to me, she’s the protagonist. her and hughie. the very first episode sets them up at the protagonists, to me, with butcher as thee antihero and homelander as the antagonist (and a-train and deep as secondary antagonists, one against hughie and one against starlight). and it felt full circle when she got to hit soldier boy. i wish it was more effective, but i was so stunned. she could FLY!!!

and, the hughie arc’s full circle moment!!! he could have taken the V and run in and tried to protect her, and save her, and he would have died and she would have been PISSED.

instead, he’s able to help her by being human. by being safe. by working with fucking electronics (AND HE WORKED AT THE ELECTRONICS STORE!!! IM INSANE!!) . he doesn’t save her. he helps her save herself.

i don’t think this is the end of soldier boy. they can easily bring him back if they want. here’s how gay sex jackles can still win.

oh. i will say. the maeve and sb falling moment looked like a shitty marvel moment.

who will be the new members of the seven. btw. cause they got three bitches to replace!!!

if there’s one thing kripke loves doing, its giving his characters daddy issues, baby brothers to protect, an insane need for revenge, and a year to live.

TLDR: I enjoyed the episode, i really think all these characters are so fleshed out, but i wish they didn’t simply set up black noir’s character with the intention of killing him. they only started exploring and revealing his character to us this season so we’d feel something at his death (like how we didn’t feel that much for translucent bc we didn’t know him, if that makes sense?). which is kind of bullshit. but i love starlight so fucking much i could cry.

[dandelioncrownns]

random grishaverse facts/trivia (mostly tgt/kos, tbh), because i love useless details. Also, attempted organisation, because i like order too. + ft. my unwanted commentary

the darkling

has a sweet tooth

loves animals and nature in general

for those of you who have read demon in the woods, he got to meet the white tigers :)

his bedchamber walls are carved into trees bc he loves the woods

his favourite trees in particular are pine trees (or just evergreen trees in general)

he used to be afraid of the dark (many possibly worrying? interesting? implications to this; i won’t get into it here tho)

he likes bright colours, but wears black all the time basically for the aesthetic

he met his younger half-sister, Ulla, when he was a seer’s apprentice in Fjerda 

the darkling is a musician! He plays the fiddle, and growing up, he played the balalaika and oud (i wonder if he can read tablature,,) 

His father was a very powerful heartrender (maybe this is why the corporalki are valued so highly by him?)

genya

she got an amplifier between the end of R+R and the start of KoS (kestrel bones)

Genya used Dekora Nevich, the Ornamental Blade, to poison the King

It smells like cinnamon and is a warm golden colour

the royal family / nikolai’s bio family 

the King once cut himself on his own sword

genya named the queen’s dog 

until she was like 11, Genya was like the daughter the queen never had (omg i really wonder how Nikolai and Vasily felt about that? ik it’s not really mentioned, and Nik kinda acts like he just met Genya is S+S, but they must have been a lot closer, right?? I mean genya was almost always at the grand palace with Queen Tatiana, and nikolai just really wanted his parents’ attention, there must have been some kind of maybe one-sided jealousy/sibling rivalry thing, right?? I digress- for now)

also the queen in a dog person

p. sure Nikolai is a mommy’s boy

(possible explanation:) he looks exactly like his real father (except for his eyes). Nikolai even has the same laugh as Magnus

the queen was also fed up with Vasily and his horses

Vasily rides a white gelding horse and Nikolai rides a speckled grey horse (called Punchline)

speaking of, vasily is definitely a horse girl, but like... just the worst (darkling 🤝vasily)

Queen Tatiana’s letters to Magnus Opjer were “very racy” 

 She doesn’t approve of women in trousers

Linnea is ~1 year younger than Nikolai

she is good at math + studies engineering at ketterdam (I wonder if maybe she and Nikolai crossed paths when he was at uni- they’re around the same age, so maybe?)

The King and Queen hired a clown for nikolai’s 10th birthday (the worst birthday party he’d been to, inclusive of the night Vasily died, according to Nikolai)

Nikolai is afraid of spiders (and also clowns???)

nikolai:

he can juggle

Nikolai sucks at learning languages 

he once spoke Fjerdan so badly a man named Knut offered him a ruby to stop

his Kerch seems pretty good tho

Nikolai met The Darkling when he was 14

Nikolai is a baritone (as is Jesper!)

In his free time, Nikolai writes bad poetry (remember that time he got stabbed w/ a letter opener bc his poetry sucked?)

he went through an emo phase/ existential crisis before becoming sturmhond.

during said emo phase, he wrote rhyming poetry pretty much exclusively

He also took philosophy classes at uni (PPE?)

alina:

alina tried on the same rose dress that the Queen watched vasily die in

Nikolai gifted Alina a VERY low-cut cobalt lace gown (In the words of Nadia, “The bodice might as well be cut to the navel.” )

Alina hates herring, but Zoya and Nikolai love it

She is VERY sarcastic and snarky!! I feel like this gets glossed over so much in the fandom, and just why?? (she’s so gloomy and over everything 90% of the time, i love it so much)

So this isn’t technically a fact-fact, but there is no way Alina wasn’t at least a little bit into women. Did you read how she talked abt genya? Zoya? there’s no way she wasn’t into them

Alina doesn’t really like hard cheese

zoya + zoyalai:

Zoya’s horse is called Serebrine

Zoya can use her lightning as a defibrillator (I’m sure other squallers can do this too with the right training)

Zoya likes Nikolai’s hands (and Nikolai likes Zoya’s feet lmao)

she has ‘weird (long?) incisors’  

she definitely had a crush on Nikolai since Ruin and Rising

kaz:

Kaz grew up on a farm in Southern Kerch, in Lij

Kaz is a both a cat and a dog person  (he just likes strays)

Matthias is a dog person, obviously

All the other crows are cat people 

He likes hot chocolate

both he and nikolai like brandy

hates cereal

Kaz is obsessed with magic + likes puzzles

actually very funny if he wasn’t terrifying (honestly?? at leat 70% of his dialogue is just witty quips/jokes)

Kaz’s right leg is the one he broke, and the dregs usually get their tattoo on their right forearm

the other crows:

Jesper has been known to go line-dancing (and would like country music) 

Mal and Jesper were friends in S+S!! (Probably) Jesper has a not-really-secret crush on sturmhond. 

He also had a VERY not secret crush on Kaz before wylan, ofc

Matthias’ middle name is Benedik

Nina would win in an arm wrestling contest against Jesper

Inej has a thing for Kaz’s eyes

Nina was at the orphanage with the other grisha kids in R+R

In the opening scene of CK, Jesper was wearing a navy waistcoat with little gold stars (his fashion is just top tier honestly)

grisha- powers, etc.:

A solar eclipse would have no effect on the Darkling’s powers, but it would make it harder for Alina to summon.

Fabrikators can make flowers bloom

The twins have shark teeth amplifiers

Adrik and Leoni are saints

general world stuff:

Gay marriage is legal in Kerch!

there was a landbridge connecting Shu Han and Kerch but the council of tides covered it

Antimony is used as mascara

kruge is pale purple paper currency

ravkan currency has Nikolai’s face on it (ig not anymore tho?)

Hringkälla is celebrated on March 20th

the distance between Ivets and Os Alta is only about 100 miles? (i’m just going to willfully ignore this, because thats,, so small?)

Mermaids and dragons exist(ed) in the grishaverse

misc:

the daughter of the duke of ivets has a daughter who can play the harp

there is not fourth tale of krigi

The baroness Natasha Beritrova is fifty (as of KoS) and has lands near caryeva

Elke Marie Smit is from one of the most powerful Kerch families and is just 16 in KoS

Oncat is an orange tabby

Anya liked Joost a lot :( (I got way too attached to them at the start of SoC and was so sad + confused when they died lol)

david eats hard boiled eggs for his working days in the shops

‘Malyen’ is the Ravkan version of ‘Malcolm’ (very fitting)

Nikolai brought the kids at Keramzin toy boats + frequently sends Alina and Mal gifts 

The triumvirate would also visit them every feast of Sankt Nikolai too :)

star signs / birthdays (ik the gv constellations aren’t the same as ours, but idc):

Inej: Cancer (june 21st - july 22nd)

Kaz: Capricorn (december 22nd - january 19th)

Nina: Leo (july 23rd - august 22nd)

Jesper: Gemini (may 21st - june 20th)

Matthias: Taurus (april 20th - may 20th)

Wylan: virgo (august 23rd - september 22nd)

Kuwei: aries (march 21st - april 19th)

Darkling: aries

Nikolai is most likely either a gemini or cancer (but he could also be a Leo or Taurus). Whatever it is, he is a summer baby.

Alina and Mal have the same birthday (they were given the Duke’s birthday when they came to the orphanage)

heights:

Jesper is 6’2” - 6’3”

Kaz is 6′

Matthias is 6’4

Nina is 5’9”-5’10”

Inej is 5’3” - 5’4”

Alina is ’short’ (5’3”?)

Mal and the Darkling are ‘tall’ (tbf, like all the characters are tall >:( I want my short people rights)

Nikolai  (well, stumhond, but i think they’re the same height) is described by Jesper as tall (so 6’2”+?? why is everyone so tall??? I-)

Zoya is several inches shorter than nina (zoyalai height difference lets go)

Kuwei is slightly shorter than Wylan (who is about 5’8”?)

there’s definitely more, so if you made it this far and have any more, pls add to the list!

[mallowstep]

Hi, so I am a former pro shipper turned anti turned possible pro shipper again. Originally, I was a pro shipper bc I was shipping irl people (basically they were non famous adults I actually knew and I was publishing fanfic abt them without changing names and stuff). Then I kind of got a clue and stopped. I was getting made fun of a lot bc of that so I kind of became an anti (jumped on the RPF hate train, cancelled anyone people told me to, hated on ppl for problematic ships etc). 1/2

i'm gonna answer this all in one ask, but i'm going to respond part-by-part, to help my information-processing-challenged brain.

i do want to say: i'm sorry you got made fun of. i do think that publishing things about people you know irl without changing names is not okay, but i am sorry you got made fun of. that's not a helpful way to help someone understand that they're doing something wrong, and i'm sorry you went through that.

Anyways, I recently got into a fandom that a lot of people have tried to cancel/shame people for liking, and I’ve been re-examining a lot of my views. It’s tbh a little sad bc most of my friends (while not active in fandoms) have a super anti mindset and would definitely shamed me especially bc of my past if I mentioned this stuff. However, becoming a pro shipper again has been a long, tiring mental process of learning to accept people again and I really appreciate your account for being so 2/3

yeah, problematic fandoms. urgh. i don't want to get into discourse, because like. not trying to do that. but ever since steven universe got called a problematic fandom (what the FUCK guys), i haven't taken that sort of shit seriously. with like, two or three exceptions which i won't list here, because the whole point is to deplatform them so no one talks about them and listing them defeats the point (which is why problematic fandom arguments are so dumb and counterproductive holy shit i wouldn't have known XYZ even EXISTED if people weren't constantly trying to tell me it was bad), and even then it's more of a "i personally do not engage with that."

i try really hard not to judge other people on their interests. i'm a proud homestuck fan. i write warrior cats fanfiction, often about very adult topics. i get it.

when it comes to friends...i don't know if you want advice, so ignore this paragraph if you don't, but it might be worth putting feelers out. people can surprise you. it's up to you what you want to do about that, but frankly, i don't care what your ship opinions are. if you're against harassment, you can be my friend. (you might not want me to be your friend, but hey, that's your prerogative.)

anyway, yeah. i've gotten embroiled in online circles before and had to unpick beliefs from them. it's hard work, and my heart goes out to you. remember that the most important part is that you don't harass other people. i'm a firm believer in "i don't need you to accept me, i just need you to respect me." in other words, i'd rather deal with a homophobe who kept their mouth shut around gay people than an LGBT+ person who told me i couldn't call myself queer.

but i digress. it's hard work, and i hope it goes well for you.

Open to people who don’t label/people trying to become proshippers and stuff bc no matter how people irl treat me, I’ve always felt welcome here. Anyways, absolutely love your warriors stuff and thanks for having such a cool blog. 3/3

i'm glad you feel welcome here! i hope everyone does. i don't care what people call themselves. i'm here to have a good time, and anyone who wants to have a good time with me can.

this is my corner and i say ship discourse is dumb as hell. like sld;fksd;ajfk it's so dumb and not worth my time i've made an active choice to not bother arguing about it anymore. i was tempted to explain why it's dumb, but i'm not going to do that. it's not worth it.

wishing you the best.

<3

[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[skunked-up-kicks]

Omg... same... I don't remember my first reaction to that kevin-andrew staring line, but like for example, it took me a while to get why Nicky warned Neil not to look too much at Kevin. And when people interpret things sexually/romantically in the fandom I'm definitely surprised, like the cigarette pack in Andrew's back pocket turned into staring at his ass etc. I did find stuff like Andrew brushing Neil's back more telling, but I didn't read every moment from a sexual attraction lense u know

I don't know if my last ask made sense but basically same sometimes im like "oh you guys think this line is about attraction. ok. i didn't know that" i feel like i learnt to see the romance/attraction in most of it bc i remember i felt like neil for the longest time -- i didn't see the signs of 'attraction' a lot of the time, though i did see more blatant flirting

lil disclaimer thingy: i understand everyone reads book differently and is coming from different perspectives, and i'm not intending to shame anyone or anything, just wanna talk about my experience reading aftg.

so, if i'm being honest... i do genuinely find it so baffling that people read certain scenes (mainly book 1 scenes) as sexual. like you mentioned the infamous 'neil sussed the twins out by which one had a cigarette packet in their back pocket' scene that people have turned into 'neil was ogling andrew's ass'. which.. neil is a respectful king and would never, okay? i hate when ppl make him into a fucking creep :// but also it's a good example of an early moment in the series that showed how observant and clever neil could be so it also makes me sad that the moment got stripped of that in favour of it being sexual :(

anyway, besides sexual clearly not being how it's intended to be read, it's also weird to me because like... my mind was not at all in the place to be reading scenes as sexual when i first read that scene.

we've just been introduced to neil not that long ago, and he's been presented to us as a traumatized teenager who's been squatting in his highschool's gym locker room, seems to have a nicotine addiction, is really anxious, has seen his mum die, and i'm also pretty sure there's lines about how lonely neil is and about how much he's grieving his mum. not that long before the cigarette-in-back-pocket scene doesn't neil have a moment at the window where he thinks "one of us has to make it mum"??

what i'm very poorly trying to explain is that, at least when i first read the books, i was really attached to neil early on and more importantly i was really protective of him. cause he's a child really... and a very hurt and distressed one at that, who's in a new and clearly unsafe environment. andrew's group is not presented in a good light early on, so i was rightfully suspicious and untrusting of them. how people can be given a character like neil in a situation like that and be playing matchmaker almost immediately is... yeah.

like... my mind wasn't in the place to be going "oooo neil thinks one of them has a nice ass!!🥴🥴"... LIKE? the scenes before certainly aren't set up in a way that's leading you down that train of thought...

it's the same as the scene where neil puts andrew's hand under his shirt, people talked about seeing that as sexual too. but andrew's been raped literally like 2 or 3 pages ago??? when i read those kinds of posts i can't help but think "how is this what's on your guys minds right now??..."

plus, when people say they saw these moments as sexual attraction they are often also implying they were thinking "maybe they'll get together". which is why i mentioned that i didn't trust andrew's group, cause i assumed everyone else felt the same, so i also assumed that like me they wouldn't be thinking of neil possibly getting with any of them... cause if you don't think they're trustworthy... why would you? i just wanted to protect neil from them ngl :') the only other character i liked at the time besides neil was wymack cause he actually showed that he cared about neil's wellbeing.

even that scene where andrew runs his fingers also neil's back, i honestly thought andrew was trying to intimidate neil... cause i didn't fucking like or trust andrew! he had non-con drugged not that long ago and i was still pissed at him and his group at the time. plus, andrew had used touching neil as a way to try and intimidate him before that so. even if i had picked up on the fact that andrew was attracted to neil from that during my first read, i wouldn't have thought they'd be getting together, or even wanted them too lol.

also because, aside from what i've said, there was also the fact neil told us he didn't swing... some scenes happened before that but most that people talk about happened after. if i'm reading a book and i'm having moments where i'm thinking maybe someone is attracted to the main character it's because i assume something might actually happen!

but i believed neil was aro/ace and so i wasn't looking for moments of neil being attracted to people, or moments of others being attracted to him. i never really bothered trying to read between the lines, it never even crossed my mind for so long... cause i had already set my mind on "neil won't end up with anyone". i only remembering it occurring to me at the "doesn't mean i wouldn't blow you" scene.

and honestly, when that happened i remember thinking something like "andrew's gonna end up getting rejected". idk? i never doubted neil was aspec, i started off thinking he was aro/ace like i said but i never went "oh he's gay", i just went "oh so he's not aro/ace but he's somewhere on the spectrum of being asexual".

and also tbh... i liked that neil never thought of things sexually. it was nice :'( and seeing his own thoughts and actions getting interpreted in that way, especially after we should have been under the assumption he wasn't interested in things like that... it rubs me the wrong way.

(i know aro/ace ppl can have relationships and/or have sex, but the way neil presented his sexuality and acted when hit on. to me, it made it seem like he was completely uninterested in either)

i can understand going back through the book after reading for the first time and being like "oh andrew's actions or words here might have been partially motivated by his attraction to neil at the time!", but through the first read? and for neil?? it's weird to me...

this is quite long so sorry bout that lol, i think i'll leave it here. it's nice to see someone else feel a similar way anyway ;^;

again, i don't think it's wrong if people read it differently. it just confuses me cause it's so different from my experience reading it and what i would expect it to be like for others

[dolokhoded]

I feel the need to tell you that today has been not awesome and you being chaotic is a light in the dark. That said if spromeo had superpowers (whether the rest of the gang does or not is up to you) headcanons on what would happen

!!!! i'm rlly glad to hear my 3am dumbassery has lead to some good :) i hope tomorrow goes better for u, i'm always here if u need a virtual headpat

as for spromeo!!!!!! y'all y'all y'all!!!!!!!!!!!

idk if i've posted about this au here but i actually have an au where everything is the exact same except all of the newsies gave superpowers and it actually started out with spromeo

but that was two years ago so i think it's time to get into that again

i'm doing modern era this time, just for a change from the old one

SO SPROMEO,,

ok let's take it from the top

romeo's power is charmspeak

because of course it is

he actually shares that power with mush and kath but they all use it differently

kath can make any lie she says seem believable and mush is pretty good at the traditional witchy-type hypnosis, while romeo can just mess with people's minds and emotions a little

and obviously he's especially good at making people fall in love with him

well, not really, it's just a temporary infatuation but it feels like they're in love with him

does he use that to get out of conflict like every three days uhhhhhh perhaps

which specs just goes "no ❤️" on because SURPRISE SURPRISE

specs' power is literally just being galaxy brain

and he's also touched up his glasses a bit so now they may or may not be able to shoot lazers

but that's besides the point

the point is, romeo's still learning

which means he cannot mess with specs' big brain power, nor understand him

and this also creates a contrast between them because romeo, being able to manipulate people's emotions can also feel them way more intensely

while specs, using the biggest part of his brain for logical thinking does not perceive them that well

and also they constantly made him feel like this was the only part of his brain that made him valuable so he never thought paying attention to anything else was worth it but anyways

now in canon era they'd still live in the lodging house and no one would know about this

but of course in modern era people would look into that stuff way more so all of those children are under training so none of them like,,, turn evil and start the apocalypse or something

and by these children i mean all of the newsies, i've thought out all of their powers but this ain't about them this is about spromeo

finch is dead

specs and romeo didn't get along at first

which was expected, they thought very differently and once got into a huge argument when finch died

romeo wanted to skip training after what happened, specs insisted that it just meant they should train harder so that nothing like this happens again

listen,,,,, specs isn't a bad person. but he didn't really understand empathy at this point.

so when romeo opened up to him mid-argument about how he felt about literally the death of his friend,,,,,,,,,,, specs may or may not have said "i don't care"

and then everyone got mad at him and he was like "ok hm let's see what we have here social experiment"

"why are you all mad at me?"

",,,,, specs are you insane?? because of what you said to romeo"

"so romeo should be mad at me"

"we're mad because you made him feel bad, and we care about him"

"bad? so he's, like, angry?"

"no, not angry, specs, have you ever felt an emotion?"

",,, irritated?"

he learns

he just needed some time to do it

but in the end, he learns

and of course who better to help him through this than romeo

at first he did not like it

"isn't he, like, a genius or something, let him do it himself! why do i have to deal with him?"

"you're not dealing with him, romeo, he's our friend. specs doesn't know how to interpret emotions and you do, i know you've had your issues but this gives you a chance to talk all of that out too"

"f i n e"

so slowly, they find out what brings out emotion in specs

romeo helps him realize what makes him happy, what makes him sad, what he's scared of, and specs technically knew how brain chemicals worked but he never actually knew what it looked like in practice

romeo will tell specs what he's feeling out loud so specs can identify it easier in other people

oh!! romeo is neurodivergent bc of course he is, and that combined with his powers means he stims pretty often

and one day specs asks him about it

"why do you do that?"

"what?"

"that shakey thing you do, is it a feelings thing?"

"oh, yeah, kind of. sometimes when something good happens i get overwhelmed, and i just do it, i guess. or when i get, like, bad overwhelmed."

"and how can you tell if it's good or bad?"

"well, from context, i suppose. and i'll also look uncomfortable if it's bad. but if it's good i'll look happy"

"so now you're happy?"

"yeah."

"oh. good. i like when you're happy, ro."

romeo's really proud of the progress he's made

specs is doing pretty well, he's literally had to teach his brain to feel human emotions

and OH BOY WHEN SPECS REALIZES HE HAS FEELINGS FOR ROMEO

specs.exe has stopped working

normally he talks to romeo about these things but he had no idea what this is so he goes to race instead cause we all know race is th king of chaotic emotions and he's currently feeling a very chaotic emotion

and race fuckin McLaughs at him

but in a good way dw

"specs you're gay."

",,,,, you're gay."

"yes, i am, but you're a little gay too."

",,,,,,,i have gay feelings for romeo?"

"i'm afraid so"

now specs didn't know he could have gay feelings

so his first thought it "romeo used his powers on me"

so he just fuckin

marches into the bunk room walks up to romeo

"you are unbelievable

romeo has literally no idea what's going on

"wh,, what did i do,"

"we agreed we wouldn't use our powers on each other, and you did! why would you do that?"

"specs, what are you talking about?"

his power is literally mainly to make people fall in love with him

but he can't use that on specs?? even if he tried?? so he's confused for a second

mush is having an aneurysm in the back

and then this bitch realizes,,,,

"holy shit specs did you just confess to me?"

"i- wh- that doesn't count! you did that!"

"i did not! dude, you know i physically can't use my powers on you, right? your brain's far more developed than an average human being's!"

specs just stares for a second

",,,,,,,,,so these are real gay feelings"

"yup"

"well this is embarrassing"

romeo just smiles at him and his chest starts doing the gay feeling again

"you know, for the smartest person on earth you're really fucking stupid. i like you too. with real gay feelings."

and specs just kinda

"o h"

mush is still losing it in the back

"KISS HIM YOU FOOL"

so he does

💞they kith💞

and they're rlly happy together

and do all the cute superpower shit

specs will lecture romeo on being more careful every time he gets hurt on some mission while he's patching him up and romeo just sits there only half listening and looking at him like

they're in love

[yikesharringrove]

Changing the theme a bit, since I saw you dont hate Jonathan thank goddd, maybe Jonathan having to ask Steve and Billy for tips because he's aro or ace? Or something he knows Lonnie wouldve actually killed him for, which Billy gets and Steve is fully willing to help soft Jonathon be a THING and they are just his gay mentors and mayhaps. Nancy just doesnt get it and it gets messy and Will just stands up for his brother in full anger and slams the door in her face and hugs jon so tight he falls

Steve is sex-positive ace, Billy is sex-repulsed, and Jon is greyace bc I’ve gotten so many messages about how many people were affected positively by showing ace diversity in that one drabble I wrote, so we’re keeping this goin’ because you’re ALL VALID. 😤

-

Jonathan had been crashing on their couch for a week and a half and has yet to say anything about the situation more than Nancy and I had a fight.

Billy and Steve didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. Jonathan was obviously fucking heartbroken over whatever the fight had been about, but they didn’t wanna pry.

“Thank you guys for taking me in. I’m sorry, I’ve probably been cramping your style.” Steve just shook his head, serving three plates of eggs and toast.

“There’s not a lot of style going on in this apartment for you to cramp.” Steve smiled at him as he placed the plates on the table. Jonathan gave him an odd look.

“What do you, what do you mean?”

“We don’t really fuck.” Billy was always the blunt one. Jonathan’s fork clattered to the table.

“You don’t, why not?”

“Neither of us are really into it.” Jonathan looked like he could fucking cry.

“Me neither. That’s what the fight was. Nancy kept asking why we don’t have sex, and if I stopped loving her, and I do! I love her so much, but I just, sometimes I feel that way about her, but I usually don’t, and I’m so fucking confused.” Steve reached out, placing a firm hand on Jonathan’s arm.

“Jon, it’s okay. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had sex in like, a year?” Billy nodded.

“It was before we actually talked about how we both felt about it.”

“And is that-” Jonathan trailed off, but they got it. Is that like me.

“I don’t mind sex. If I’m with someone who wants to have it, I can be cool with that, but I don’t always get off, and it’s more about making the other person feel good, or using it as another way to be like, intimate. But I don’t really think about it, and I can definitely go without.”

“I actively don’t like fucking. I kinda think sex is, is fucking gross. I mean, you do you and all that, but like, every time I had sex it just, it made me feel gross.” He pulled a face.

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel for her, honestly.” Jonathan ran a hand down his face. “Sometimes, sometimes it just feels like a fucking chore. And she just, she kinda confronted me about it, and I probably could’ve worded it better, but she got so angry, and hurt, and we just, we decided to take some time apart.” He pushed the eggs around his plate. “And there are some situations that I just, I want it with her so badly, but most, most of the time I just, I just want to be with her, like just spend time with her. And she, she’s never been very good at being sensitive about things, or, or, sympathetic, and she just, she made me feel fucking broken. Like there was something wrong with me.”

“First of all, fuck her for making you feel like that.” Billy had one eyebrow raised.

“Bill-”

“No. Jonathan, you are not broken, and it sucks she made you feel that way. If she can’t be in a relationship that respects your boundaries, then she is not the one.”

Steve sighed.

“Jon, Bill’s right. A relationship should be safe. She should be more mindful of your boundaries and feelings, and should not be making you feel bad for those things. I’m not saying you should like, dump her-”

“I am.” Steve batted a hand at Billy.

“-but, if you have an open conversation with her, and nothing changes, then you are always welcome here.” Steve squeezed his arm again.

-

The talk with Nancy had been bad.

She had taken everything really personally, said that Jonathan needed to sort out his priorities and to let her know when he’s attracted to her again.

And he tried, he tried so hard to explain the way he felt, that it all comes and goes like the fucking tide, but she had put her foot down.

So he showed up back to Billy and Steve’s apartment with two more suitcases and tears in his eyes.

“I just, I know I can fake it when I need to, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“Because forcing yourself to do shit like that sucks. Fuck Nancy for being a bitch. Figure yourself out, and then find someone who respects your boundaries.”

Billy was pacing in front of the sofa, talking sharply, pointing at Jonathan a lot. Steve had one arm over his shoulders.

“You deserve respect, Jon. And you deserve to feel safe and happy in a relationship.”.

-

He couldn’t sleep that first night.

The fight was circling in his head, over and over and over and over-

He heard the bedroom door open, and someone creep out through the living room and into the kitchen.

He looked over the back of the couch, saw a bleary eyed Steve filling a glass of water for himself, wearing one of Billy’s faded band shirts, and a pair of panties.

Jonathan laid back down before Steve could see him looking.

-

The next morning, he found himself staring at Steve.

He had put shorts on, and even a chunky cardigan while he made breakfast, but Jonathan knew.

“Can I, can I talk to you about something?” Steve smiled brightly at him. “I, um, I noticed you coming out here last night.” Steve just nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“You wondering about panties?”

“Um, yeah.” Steve shrugged. “I just like ‘em. And it’s not like, a sexual thing. Sometimes they make me feel sexy, but that’s not what it’s about. I just like them. Have a lot of women’s thing.”

“What about them do you like?” Steve shrugged again.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never felt like, super masculine. Like, big macho tough guy, I wanna hunt and never talk about my feelings.” Steve put on a stupid-sounding deep voice for his macho man. “And I mean, not all men are like that, but that’s kind of how you’re expected to be. And women are expected to be pretty and delicate, and I’ve always related to that more. Women’s clothes help me feel that way.”

“I’ve, um, I’ve always felt that too. Not necessarily the kinda, pretty and delicate part, but the, not feeling connected to masculinity and like, what’s expected from you.” Steve set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Jonathan, putting one down for himself as well, and one in Billy’s empty space.

“Hold that thought, I’m gonna grab Billy. He doesn’t like it when I yell for him.” Steve patted him on the arm, and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with Billy in tow.  “Okay, Jonathan. Please continue.”

“Well, not much to say. I feel like my dad kinda always shoved that like, macho man shit on me. Would take me hunting and stuff and I just never liked it.”

“Jesus, mine did that shit too. Not with hunting, but he was all about men having their place, and women having their place.” Billy took an aggressive bite of his bacon.

“Mine was too! I got sad once when I shot a rabbit, and he called me a pussy for like, a week.”

“When my dad was layin’ into me, if he ever saw my cry, it would just get that much worse.” They were nodding at one another, trading shitty dad stories back and forth. “He would like, get mad if I helped my mom cook and shit, too.”

“God, it’s like we had the fuckin’ same dad.” Billy raised his mug at Jonathan. “It’s hard to break outta that shit, even though he’s not in your life, anymore.”

“I think so, too. I haven;t seen him in years, but every time I do something he would’ve thought was too soft, I can still hear him in my head. And you know, that’s one of the things I like about Nancy. She’s really hard, and tough, and never expected me to be that way.” And he knows that in the end, Nancy was bad news for him, not being able to love and accept him, but that aspect of their relationship was so nice, so easy.

“There doesn’t always have to be both. I mean, Steve’s more outwardly soft, but we’re both real mushy at our cores. There doesn’t have to be a big tough one and a sweet soft one. Sometimes you have elements of both and you make it work.”

“You just have to find the balance within yourself, I think. And learn to embrace the parts of you that are soft and the parts that are hard.” Jonathan was nodding vigorously at Steve. “And it’s always different. I love getting to feel soft and pretty in a dress or something, whereas Billy finds ways to be soft by taking care of things, like me and all the plants.”

“Do you think, do you think you could help me? Find that, I mean.”

“Of course! Just think of the things you already feel, things that feel right when you do them, and that’s a good starting point. And maybe that’s your photography, and maybe it’s something else.”

So they let Jonathan experiment with things to find his softness.

He would help Billy tend to the fucking garden they had on the balcony, or bake with Steve. He took a million pictures, and Steve was thriving under the camera, would put on make up and something pretty and pose around the apartment.

It was just nice.

Getting to live with these two, and train himself not to be ashamed, it was nice.

Will would come and visit quite often, and he and Jonathan spent a wonderful Saturday evening coming out to each other, and validating the ever loving shit out of one another.

Billy and Steve came home to the two brothers hugging one another on the couch and trying to hold back tears.

Steve had inserted himself into the hug while Billy patted each one of them on the head and started making dinner.

But he figured of course this would happen.

His perfect little cocoon would crumble apart at some point.

Will had come over, and Steve and Billy had gone out to dinner together, leaving the two of them to order pizza and have a movie night.

It was great, hanging out with his brother like when they were little, not a fucking care in the world.

There was a knock at the door.

“Jon, it’s me. It’s Nancy. Can we talk” Jonathan’s heart stuttered to a halt in his chest.

Will was staring at the door like maybe he could set it on fire if he glared hard enough.

Jonathan sighed, opening the door to face his fate.

“Are you seriously still mad at me?”

“Yes.” She huffed.

“C’mon. Come back home.”

“Nancy, I can’t. Not if you’re not going to respect me.”

“We were fine. I don’t know why we can’t just go back to the way we were-”

“Because I was forcing myself to do things I was uncomfortable with just to make you happy.”

“Relationships are compromise, Jonathan.”

“I know that, but when I brought up to you what wasn’t working, you refused to listen. I was the only one forfeiting my boundaries and comfort in that relationship, and I deserve more.” She rolled her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan, this is-” Will was shoving Jonathan back, stepping between the two.

“Nancy, he’s done talking to you about this. Unless you can respect that he doesn’t always feel that way, then move the fuck on.” He slammed the door right in her face. “You don’t need her.”

Jonathan was gobsmacked. Will had never spoken to anyone like that, at least not that Jonathan’s every seen.

“Why did you...?” He trailed off, still staring at the door.

“She was pissing me off. You’re right. You compromised everything in that relationship and she couldn’t even give you the bare minimum.”

Jonathan swept Will up, hugging him as tight as he possibly could.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than her.”

“Yeah, I do.”

[redxblueihateloveyou]

spill the yoi hot takes :o

I’m really flattered with the amount of asks (I hope you won't mind that I combined at least 5, it's just easier this way), interested in my yoi opinions, I wasn’t planning to get into that honestly, until I mentioned it to my friend Alex (I’ve mentioned him here before without a name tho, he’s gay, he’s very into anime, he was also the one behind that 4am text “but how do u think Rin’s teeth feel on Haru’s dick” lol). 

I just didn't want to rewatch it, as I've said before, but something he said got me very intrigued and last week ended up with me staying until 7am for a virtual watch party that got pretty hilarious, but not for the yoi reasons lol.

So just know that to be completely fair we did it and I'm saying everything below with a very fresh impression, which hasn't changed really bc like I'm 25, I was watching it the first time when I was 21, not 14 xD. I think it got worse actually.

Once again, I know that since they’re both gay sports animes comparisons are inevitable, but to me one has nothing to do with the other and no matter the fact that I adore Free! and don’t like YOI, I don’t want to throw words like smth is “superior” out there, bc I don’t want to be like those YOI fans back in the days, who thought that none other gay ships should exist after this (unless they say smth specifically for me to counterattack, then I can say whatever lol).

Like if you love stories like this, it’s okay. Like what you like. But to yell at everybody that they must think that this is how relationships should be and trash every other gay ship in existence, you maybe should not, especially when you don’t really have much to be proud of. Just like kisses don’t make a love story high-quality, full censorship doesn’t take away a good love story.

"Heaven official’s blessing” is also censored, but no matter how much you censor it, their love for each other is seen in their actions so clear, that it is in fact will not take anything away from the power of their feelings and the greatness of their love story if at the end they won’t show them kissing. Just like if I kiss a random stranger on the street, it won’t make us the best couple in the world.

Now I went into watching YOI unbiased the 1st time I watched it (I did watch it after Free, bc it was in “recommended”). I did not expect it to be “like Free”, I just wanted smth that’ll give me the same kind of emotion, investment in the story, ship, etc. It didn’t, so I just moved on.

I didn’t even think deep about why. I thought I just grew out of the “Cinderella” stories a long time ago or as it was here not very gracefully called “how to turn the pig into the prince”.

Like if you want the “she’s all that” but with the boy instead of a girl, you’ll probably enjoy YOI. But once again, love stories I enjoy are the opposite of those. It's really nothing bad, if you enjoy the stuff like “Someday my prince will come” in whatever age tbh, but I since a certain age just wasn’t invested in those anymore and began to obsess with stories like “Anastasia” instead, and I’m talking about love stories with less naivety in between and feelings out of nowhere, but more stuff like “yes, bitch, I find you attractive, true, but whether I fall for you unconditionally or not, only real life situations will tell later on”.

And I don’t mean stuff like going through war together or some epic journey, but grown ups must know those. Those life situations or even tiny things someone do, that make you not only fall for someone, but think “yeah, I can imagine my life with you”.

Like in my humble opinion, you can’t fall in love with someone bc of the way they swim or skate, for example. What ppl call “love at first sight” is in fact “attraction at first sight”. So yes, we do joke about Rin falling in love at first sight, bc he did in fact walked into the hall, saw Haru and was like “dat bitch is so fine”, even tho he was just standing there, but once again, he was just attracted to him. What happens after this is you can go on a whole beautiful journey with tiny Rin putting together the prettiest puzzle of why he falls for Nanase Haruka. In such little things like when Haru slowed down when he saw Nagisa feeling bad during running and Rin was like “omg you’re so uwu”, how he mentions that he always helps ppl, but never asks for help himself, he slowly gradually paints a picture of what kind of person Haru is, same goes for Haru about Rin. And then you have a whole story of them falling for each other all over again when they’re already adults, and you again watch it through their eyes, and once again I’m not in fact talking about some grand gestures like 1x12, I’m talking about stuff like them focusing on Haru’s eyes shaking, when he saw that Rin secretly helps Rei to learn how to swim. It’s the little things, that you watch and you get why they feel what they feel for each other. And that also makes you fall in love more with their characters by seeing how the other sees them.

YOI doesn’t have those moments. Not only they weren’t in any situations that would make them know each other for who they really are, they hardly even know the basic info about one another. Hell, the viewer doesn’t know anything about them. And this is why to me it goes into the category of those typical romcoms I can’t get invested in.

So I don’t think these two can be compared. And while some yell “bc you’re not canon, but yoi is canon”, I think they can’t be compared for another reason. Bc some ppl are trying to prove to me that a 27 years old man fell head over heels in love with someone overnight during a drunk banquet, then watched a vid of him skating and flew to another country and hey “if you win a gold medal, lets get married”. This is not the kind of relationship progression I’m looking for like at all. Between that time he started training him and their “censored kiss” there was nothing and I mean nothing that’d made me go “yeah, I see why he loves him”.

But anyways, lets live piecefully really, you can like one, you can like both, it’s all okay.

Like I know many have ptsd and it’s true that back when YOI was popular, most of their fans for real did annoy to death almost everyone, bc they yelled that No.6 is trash, when someone said “but you’re not the only one gay story that’s not based on sex”. They yelled that Free! has no right to exist bc its queerbating (LOL). By that time, I’m not gonna lie I was ready to poke my eyes out each time I saw smth YOI related, bc it was like: you make a multigay shipping vid -  “how dare u not include YOI”, you make a gifset - “you forgot YOI” like I HAD TO like it just bc it’s gay. There is no such rule to me. Just like I don’t care for some hetero romances, I don’t care for some gay romances. Simple is that. Once again gay has nothing to do with the relationships dynamic and the story.

Yeah, comments about fanservice. Like why should I watch Victor’s naked ass for several minutes every episode, but don’t get to see Haru or Rin’s at least once? So salty rn.

Free is more fanservice-y.. well, it’s hella fanservicy, yes, but like we can’t swim in shirts, you can tho not show naked ass in each episode, I thought you were skating. 

See, it’s all debatable.

But I do wish ppl stop putting yoi relationships on a piedestal, their relationship are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far from being inspirational for many and not even close to the what love is in my opinion. If you seek smth of a very high standart of gay love, choose MDZS for example, idk. But don’t throw YOI at ppls faces as a “this is how should be”. Not everyone wants that.

I don’t need a half-assed engagement and esp the censored kiss (like either do it or don’t do it at all honestly). Also stuff like this should carry weight. I don’t want things for the sake of things.

Like to me Rin’s “the only thing that hasn’t changed in my life is how I feel about you” speech, considering the fact that he felt like that throughout all those years, means hella more, than this. 

I think 1stly, it’s because of the “it’s like it was a destiny xD” factor and 2ndly, bc at least this scene gives a little more sense to the fact that he flew to another country to train him. Now it’s if “I fell MADLY in love in one drunk night and was pining my whole life after that and that vid was a sign for me to go see you again” makes any sense to you. At least that’s how some fans read it.

Once again it might be a good thing for a passable one-time romantic comedy. But plots and pairings like this is what made me turn to anime in the first place, so.. sorry lol.

All this mega tragic posts of “Victor was soooo in love for such long time, it’s so sad” made me laugh so hard. Like he feel in love so hard during a one drunk banquet with a guy who was so drunk he didn’t remember anything he did? WHY? HOW? what could he possibly do to make him fall that hard, no one knows. Like to me the only reason u can fall for someone in one night is if you saw him risking his life saving a kitten or a puppy from a car or smth.

I’m just not the kind of person who thinks you can fall for someone for no reasons. Again, you can find someone attractive and go from there, but there must be things along the way that will make me believe in the progression of it. It can of course all come in the future, but the story was what the story was. Whatever you are trying to add to it is already a fanfiction.

YOI is not boring per se, bc everything goes way too fast and sometimes with no reasoning, so I was more surprised that “this was it?” lmao. But their relationships are dull, yes. Bc there is nothing to even discuss really, you can only assume things, bc the whole thing didn’t give u much, esp in the characters department. It’s just really funny to me that someone would write a whole post of “I love this character bc I presume he’s like that”, usually it’s “I love this character bc facts, facts, facts”.

______

Now back to the beginning of my post and to the funny story that happened. We were randomly discussing shit, when I mentioned about possibly rewatching YOI, bc I didn’t want to start talking about smth in case I forgot some stuff (I didn’t btw lol) and turned out that he freaking disliked it a lot. I never even asked, for some reason, and we’ve been yelling about Free! and other stuff for ages and like his boyfriend is in love with Sousuke and they both adore rinharu to death.

And he has lots of gay friends who love Free (this made me happy the most, btw during our YOI chat I asked and it was 4:1 harurin:rinharu haha I win) and some ships from Haikyuu too, but turns out that literally none of them were into YOI. And the funniest thing he said was “bc it felt more heterosexual than some heterosexual stories I’ve watched”. Now I don’t know if it would make sense to anyone else out there, but I kinda did get what he meant.

I asked if it was bc of the “fairytale setting” and the fact that no one cared that they’re gay (bc “in front of the stadium?!” was the reaction, when I told them “there was a cencored kiss here” (btw not everyone got it lolz) and then “did they just write the story with a girl, but then changed it by the end?”), but they said “no, just the overall feeling”.

And like everyone knows that YOI targeted audience is hetero girls. It wasn’t made for the sake of the LGBT community and none of the homophobic ppl will watch it either, no matter what some think. So for whom they did it the way they did it is very questionable tbh. They say it’s the LGBT representation in anime, and yes, good, great, always happy about, but isn’t it kinda funny that some of LGBT representatives don’t even feel like it apparently.

Now I’m just saying some, I’ve asked him to ask around out of curiousity, and it was only 11 gay guys in total, who watched it, including our company and his bf who was forced into it haha, but 11 is quite a lot, considering the fact that not even 1 liked it. But then somehow stuff like MDZS and even uncanonical mikayuu was highly appreciated and loved, bc it accidentally made a dent in some extra conservative parents and dull ppl.

It’s just much more interesting to hear what guys who are actually dating guys think about all those kind of animes and ships, than some girls here who yell at me stuff like “why are you supporting queerbating”. Btw I asked Alex if he’s offended by that, he said “no, but we for real think they’re doing it” lmao.

It is supposed to be funny. You didn’t get it wrong. But if you saw many ppl would aggressively disagree with you. I just thought that “analysis” was an “interpretive process that draws conclusions from a set of facts”, not “writing a fanfiction based on assumptions”, but then again to each their own. 

The problem is that I don’t even get what’s cute about it, it’s just absurd to me. Like it’s pulled out of an ass, for real. They’re not in the stage of a relationships, when I would find such thing romantic. And all the agressive denying of the fact that it was indeed wedding rings made this scene cringy, too. The whole thing is cringy to me idk. The “win the gold, only then we’ll get married”.... It all gave me a weird feeling. The opposite of “touching”.

So in conclusion, when you skip most of the important parts of the love story and jump into stuff just for the sake of it, then also make fun of it, it leaves a hella weird impression and aparently not just to me.

And once again trying to market some primitive story as an epic love story, just bc it’s gay is extremely weird to me. If you make 50 shades of grey gay, it’s not gonna suddenly become a pulitzer prize winning kind of book, it’ll stay the same dumb af story with dumb af characters, but gay.

So being happy about some representation (and btw they still managed to add stuff like “its not gay if you exchange rings with your hommies” here and there and make it “hahahaha joking”), I get it, but to say that this what all the gay ships should aim for, pls stop. We really don’t wanna. Sincerelly. 

We here stick to a motto “I can picture the kiss of the characters whose story is so amazing, that the kiss is the only thing missing, but if I basically have just a picture of two guys kissing, I won’t write a whole story myself.”

P.S. I will forever laugh now tho at the fact that calling your bf a “pig” and being an arogant asshole without any canonically established reasonings is a great relationships, but Adam with his past gets what he gets now for the “dog” comments even tho his bf enjoys it lmao like I did not remember this bits in YOI. I honestly thought it was like completely “unproblematic” one, but it’s like hilariously not. So what ppl are trying to even put out their as a “pinnacle of the lgbt representation” as you say, like there are for real older yaois that are much better than this.

[szivtalan]

character ask: kagami, momoi, alex and himuro 👀👀👀

!!! omg thank u Ceru! u might be one of my favorite mutuals <33 (putting this under a read more just so I can speak at lengths about each individual character)

Why I like Kagami: this is where I sarcastically ask “why DON’T i like him” but that’s literally the next question so; he’s everything i want to be and more. He has the determination and the willpower to make his own dreams come true, he’s gay as shit, he’s tall and buff and well-adjusted, mature enough to live on his own at an annoyingly young age, he’s funny and dumb and a total himbo as well as an excellent advisor bc of how grounded he is.

Why I don’t: I’m... not really good with explosive people. Violent men with loud voices especially scare me, and I’d think I’d flinch around him a lot and that would make me rlly anxious.

Favorite episode: it’s a toss-up between the Seirin fam visiting his place for the first time (is it where Kuroko confesses his love to him and then passes out in his arms? idk), and the onsen episode. I also loved all his plays against Kise and Aomine. AND the training camp w him running a lot in the sand.

Favorite season/movie: season 2 probably because he’s not a jerk anymore, but he’s still on his way to shed off any asshole behavior stuck to him. And I actually liked Last Game?

Favorite line: “There’s no such thing as useless effort.” and “This is our drama and we write the plot.” because he’s so ridiculous.

Favorite outfit: all of his casual fits... comfy but manly is my Jam

OTP: AoKaga....they’re truly soulmates, star-crossed lovers, canonically brought together by fate.

Brotp/otp no. 2: KagaKuro, I love them

Head Canon: I have several collections because I think too much about this boy, but here’s something I think about his family: he doesn’t know what happened to his mom. He never asked, because it wasn’t relevant, and he didn’t want to inconvenience his dad by questioning him. Occasionally, as a kid he felt like he was missing out on something (seeing other kids with their moms, feeling like they’re being treated with much more gentle care because they have moms), but as he grew older he realized that nurturing behavior shouldn’t have been limited to only a mother, and that he was just straight up neglected without any regards to missing a parent in his life.

Unpopular opinion: I never realized this was an unpopular opinion but I’m glad he went back to America at the end of Last Game. Obviously, it’s sad that he had to separate from the others, but I felt like Japanese basketball has always been just a stepping point to him, and now that he’d beat the best of them, it was time to move on. And it also warms my heart that him getting scouted in the US gave Aomine hope to aim big, too. I felt like both of them would’ve felt trapped in Japan with their skill sets.

A wish: I want him to be happy and gay and to confront Himuro and tell him how hurt he was by how he treated him and probably do the same to his dad too

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: ....whatever I’d say Shinsun has probably written it/will write it, but I don’t want him to forget about the GoM just because he becomes a world-famous athlete.

5 words to best describe them: sweet child with anger issues

My nickname for them: not mine (it’s Sypha’s) but “Kags”, Kagami, Tigerboy, Kagababe, Baby

Why I like Momoi: she is SO nurturing and sweet and she cares so much about her boys!! I’m sorry it always turns into “how they remind me of myself” but actually I get feeling like a background character and being the moral/emotional/physical support of those who are more talented or in any way better than you. I feel a strange kind of kinship with her and also,,, feminine girls make my heart stop, and it doesn’t get more feminine than Momoi. Added: Aomine aside, the Touou team wouldn’t worth shit without her skills tbh, and she’s not in any way less than the GoM. Also, I appreciate her being the one person to try to keep their friend group together.

Why I don’t: Analytical People Scare me like!! how do u know stuff people are Unknowable!! I usually am also irked by her pointing out Riko’s breast size but I can just pretend that’s in a gay way (maybe Momoi likes girls with small boobs and she’s just bad at flirting) (also I don’t exactly liked her calling Aomine a “ganguro” but I have too little knowledge on the use of this word to say exactly why)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): uh the one where Aomine made her cry? It really came through how much love she actually has for her friends at that one.

Favorite season/movie: she was great in all of them!!

Favorite line: I can’t remember the exact quote and Google isn’t really helpful either but the one where she made Kuroko promise they’ll always play together or something? Or that they’re gonna beat Aomine?? idk?

Favorite outfit: I like all of them but mostly I just appreciate her wearing so many hoodies, she looks so cute in them

OTP / Brotp: it’s both AoMomo. I feel like the have the most special and strongest bond in the entire series.

Head Canon: She’s never been shown to do, but I feel like she wears Aomine’s clothes a Lot. Also, they definitely have sleepovers To This Day.

Unpopular opinion: Momoi is good at basketball and she loves playing!!! But try being successful in it when ur opponents are Giants and Way More Buff than you are

A wish: I wish people appreciated her more!! Both in fandom and in canon. She’s an amazing person and she has her own skills and strengths that are rarely explored or even mentioned anywhere.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: her falling out with her boys ;-; I do not want that

5 words to best describe them: strawberry sweetheart to steal ur heart

My nickname for them: Satsuki :> I feel like it’s a little too much to call characters on their first names sometimes but hers is so cute I can’t

Why I like Alex: yet again another woman with an extensive skill set. I love her persistence and again I appreciate getting disillusioned and finding your way back to the thing you love. Also it’s just sweet that she did that by teaching (again, something I can relate to)

Why I don’t: the whole “kissing children” thing rubbed me the wrong way but again, just like Momoi’s obsession with comparing breast sizes, it’s just bad/sexist writing from Fujimaki probably

Favorite episode (scene if movie): adshg any and all where she expressed that Himuro and Kagami are equally important to her <33 that shit makes my heart burst

Favorite season/movie: she only appears towards the end of s2 and in s3 so... I guess s3?

Favorite line: its so Bad that u literally can’t find the iconic quotes of these iconic ladies anywhere but... her story on finding her passion again through teaching kids, and anytime she mentions her fondness of Kagami and Himuro.

Favorite outfit: her iconic olive green coat with the short red shorts... wtf was that I loved it.

OTP: she doesn’t really interact with people her age but I’ve heard she’s shipped with Masako Araki and I’ve seen some seriously good fanarts and like... Yes Good I’d Love To See It

Brotp: I feel like her and Himuro would be that sassy pair that Kagami tries and fails to contain and they get into all sorts of weird, absurd situations asdjs what I’m trying to say is Kagami has to bail them out of jail from time to time

Head Canon: fck me if I’m wrong but she’s the lesbian single mom of the two gay kids she reluctantly adopted from the streets

Unpopular opinion: it’s more like another headcanon, but she can dunk and she taught Kagami how to do it.

A wish: I’d love her to coach the Seirin fam more!! Pls let her be part of her children’s lives (she could also judge streetball games between the goms it would be fun)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: anything about her being romantically involved with her pupils makes me.................no

5 words to best describe them: Beautiful Beach Blonde Basketball....goddess

My nickname for them: Alex!! sometimes An Icon

Why I like Himuro: em dash Asdgsdj I’m joking, I’m becoming more and more fond of the boy. Once I realized that he shouldn’t have been the “bigger person” in that situation and one year doesn’t really mean much when you’re that young and that hurt, I realized he’s actually a good and hard-working kid and I’m sorry for giving him so much shade. Also I really like his snark and sass, but that might not even be canon at this point tbh

Why I don’t: I’m still sort of irked by him beating down on Kagami because he was envious/mad, but I realized the aspect of that situation that Really got to me was how devoted Kagami still was to him after all that. That devotion was what felt toxic, nothing that Himuro actually did to him.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): the time they met up w Kagami just to exchange a dramatic socially distancing bro fist and a few encouraging words.... gays be Like That

Favorite season/movie: I really didn’t mind s3 Himuro

Favorite line: apparently he’s said some iconic stuff that I don’t remember (and my sources don’t seem really legit) but I’m gonna say “let’s see you become number 1, bro” because again, that’s just so ridiculous and endearing. On one hand he really went from loathing Kagami to rooting for him and wanting him to reach his full potential and on the other, honey ur  like 17 stop speaking like That

Favorite outfit: his knitted V-neck sweaters and the black coat with the white fur.... boy’s got all the fashion sense that’s missing from Kagami

OTP: can I say.....AoHimu asdfh I ship 3/4 of these characters with Aomine what does that say about me

Brotp: KagaHimu. They can be sweet, but I’ve only ever seen Jake write them really well

Head Canon: I’ve been entertaining the idea of....trans Himuro.....

Unpopular opinion: everyone thinks that Kagami is the violent kid and Himuro is the chill, sweet child who’s somehow wound up with this mess of a fiery tiger, but it’s actually Himuro who taught Kagami how to fight and Kagami learned quite a lot of aggression from him

A wish: I feel like Himuro should’ve gotten a separate episode to explore his thoughts, feelings and past. He had so much potential as a character Is2g

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: him quitting basketball would fucking destroy me. I’d be devastated for others too, but it would really pull on my heartstrings if he just dropped the only thing he’s been so passionate about.

5 words to best describe them: gender-non-conforming emo child

My nickname for them: Himu, Tatsuya, Tatsu