#i made these WEEKS ago but i didnt have any motivation to post

[bonecuisine]

Sorry for being fucking unactive again

Slams these on the table

take this

[uriekukistan]

Hope your day or night is going well!! ✨

Okay, top five Megumi lines/scenes?

ahhh thank you i hope yours is as well!! and thank you for the ask!!

im in the car rn so some of these i couldn’t track down the specific chapter/page bc i dont wanna use all my data :’)

1 - “i’m not like itadori, i have no problem earning 100 points for myself.” or something along that line

one of the things that fascinates me the most about megumi is the way he places value on lives, and this line is just so cool to me. he’d said before this that he saves people unequally, but this shows just how far that goes. he’ll kill anywhere from 20-100 random people so tsumiki and itadori, the two people he cares about and thinks are worth saving more than anyone else, don’t have to get their hands dirty, and their lives hold more value to him than others. it’s also so interesting to me because of the way megumi doesn’t consider himself a good person like tsumiki or itadori, and therefore doesn’t really see himself as worth saving, so it’s just a necessary burden he has to carry as the “bad” person for those two. also add that in w this line, and im on the floor

2 - his battle vs sukuna at the detention facility/“i’m not a hero, i’m a jujutsu sorcerer”

another moment where we get an insight into his ideas on good/bad people and who deserves saving, can you tell i love this aspect of his character? i mean, he’s about to sacrifice himself for itadori to live (hopefully), even though he literally met the guy two weeks ago, because he thinks he’s a good person who deserves saving. it’s the first insight we get into megumi’s thought process, and this was really the moment that made me start paying attention to him more. i also love how he kept a softer expression on his face and didn’t cry until after itadori died, like he didnt want itadori to feel sad or guilty in his final moments im SICK also the fact that he took the name-tag to that guys mom even though he didnt have an interest in saving him, like he was paying a respect to itadori….ugh…anyway yeah i love dissecting the way he values life.

3 - “so start by saving me, itadori”

see as an itafushist of course this had to make the list like this whole chapter has me on the floor but anyway aside from that, i love thinking about this scene because the words he’s saying seem so contrary to how he thinks? like he’s asking to be saved but he doesn’t think he’s worth saving? so it needs an extra layer of consideration. i feel like he really said this more to motivate yuuji (and save tsumiki) than actually wanting to be saved himself. plus the “it’s our fault, don’t be selfish and give up all alone” aaahhahahsj i just love this moment i feel like it shows his character very well….when the idgafer actually very much gaf….

4 - his first domain expansion

hellooo this was so sick and cool and badass of him like i dont think there’s anything i need to say for this. huge character development moment for him too. add this with the simple domain he had in dagon’s domain + the part in the culling games arc where he literally hides himself in the shadows……he’s crazy powerful and i dont wanna hear anything abt it! if u were traumatized like that you’d be curled up on the floor too

5 - “if you die, i’ll kill you” both times

again as an itafushist i couldnt not include this….of course there’s implications for megumi’s character as well but i feel like there’s only so much i can talk about his moral code in one post yk? but yeah i think it just shows how much the people he cares about matter to him

also bonus i love just any culling games megumi, his determination to save tsumiki and make it so itadori doesnt have to kill anyone makes him grow so much as a character and as a sorcerer, i love it sm

thank u for the ask! any excuse to yap about megumi 🤞

[inventedfangirling]

Hello this is basically a long post about me sorting through my feelings about bad buddy and why it means so much to me.

So over the past few weeks ( i first watched the show 7 weeks ago) ive been trying to figure out what exactly about bad buddy and patpran in particular have got me so inexplicably fond and devoted to them and apart from the usual answers of great writing, directing, performances and the best most electric chemistry and banter known to humankind, i did arrive at couple of other answers too.

First of all pat and (especially) pran are deep and well rounded characters.

Their worlds feel lived in and real.

Their feelings and thoughts and motivations are of course excellently portrayed by both ohm and nanon. and they gave representation to queer people everywhere. pat being the pan/ bi king he is and pran being the gayest babyboy warrior poet ever. pran especially given his repressed nature and emotional closed-off-ness is somebody a lot of people surely saw themselves in, including myself. seeing myself represented like that starting off the way he is and then taking small steps one by one over the course of the whole show (and over years in the show's universe) to arrive at the more assured, more open, more ready to be vulnerable (but still very much the pran we all loved in the first episode itself) was so wonderful to see.

The fact that the show happens in a non homophobic universe doesnt take away from just how special it was seeing queer characters fall, be and stay in love. and most importantly that they got their happy ending (i wont be hearing anything against this cos the ending was happy, despite the slightly bittersweet tinge of it, it was happy and there shall be no counter arguments begone i cant with that)

That episode 12 gave a glimpse of their future.

A world where pat will one day be able to sit with pran in his house eating food made by dissaya. that pran and pat's mom work on a common hobby together cos why not. a world where they no longer have to hide, a world were they could well and truly thrive.

Its so so important as queer people that we get representation and that in a world that is often cruel to the likes of us especially here in asia, that we see happy adult queer lives, where they can be in love in the most mundane of ways.

Patpran and bad buddy gave us that and i will forever be thankful for it.

That still doesn't capture exactly why i rate them as a couple so so highly in my head.

So i thought of patpran in the context of all the other love stories i could possibly remember watching. i thought of some of my top favourite couples - mondler, phil & claire, schmidt & cece, peraltiago, leslie & ben, jack & rebecca, randall & beth, simon & wilhelm, jaeyong & sangwoo, ji hyun & jaewon, bai lang & xun an, tara & darcy, sumi & rimjhim and so so many more and what stood out for me when it came to patpran was that they were the one couple out of all these couples i adore who didnt let anything get between them once they got together.

Every other couple among the ones ive listed have had jobs or other relationships or distance or parents or workplace rules /etiquette or circumstances or the royalty standing in between their love and as a result causing the couple to break apart ( a couple of episodes for mondler to seasons of confusion for peraltiago and schmidt & cece etc) even if briefly.

Except for phil & claire (who btw wasnt even sure about marrying phil when she did) almost none of these couples got together and stayed together throughout their relationship. and yes i agree that a lot of these obstacles and circumstances are very real and taxing and no wonder people chose their own peace at least for a while to deal with everything BUT i just cant help feel more appreciative of pat pran even more cos these two 19 year olds figured this whole thing out faster than any of those full grown adults did.

And yes its fictional and maybe even unrealistic (given the kind of relationships i see irl) yet patpran really do deserve all the love they get. they do deserve a lot of props.

Its not like they didn't have adverse obstacles standing in their way, they had to fight against their families years and years of lies and all the intergenerational trauma and their faculty rivalry and a shitty friend who outed them and any single one of these should have caused at least 12 episodes worth of conflict and miscommunication in any other couple.

And yes i do recognise that bbs didnt have the luxury of time or multiple seasons but they could have kept them apart for a whole episode at least, i was convinced we were in for that at the end of episode 8 as the aftermath of wai outing them. like there is no way the relationship comes out of it unscathed ( i thought! ). and while im sure they personally were rattled and betrayed (pran more so), instead of blaming anybody else or each other they actually chose to handle it together, they worked together and chose to move forward together.

The fact that such a terrible experience instead of breaking them apart actually reaffirmed to both pat and pran just how much their relationship means to the both of them, that they come out of it actually stronger??

i was friggin shook to my core.

And then came the gunshots and the family finding out and the running away and the coming back and the fake breakup and the pressures of all of this should have been enough to drive a serious wedge between any two characters, especially at their age and lack of experience. and yet??? and yet at each obstacle they get up, they draw the other closer and they get down to working on it together again.

Over and over and over and over again.

So for me what separates patpran from everybody else is the fact that ever since they got together, they have chosen eo, intentionally, that has made the difference.

Pat and pran's story may have been destined ( i personally don't know if i believe in destiny). they may have been born neighbours and felt unexplainable intense feelings (that later turned to love) for the other but when it came down to it, at its core, bad buddy soars when the two come together and they choose to keep being together, despite everything that stands in their way.

Love is a choice. love is a sacrifice. but its also a sacrifice and a choice they made for themselves and for each other and above all for their relationship.

Almost all the couples mentioned above arrive at similar destinations but they arrive at it with years of experience and years of struggle. i just cant help marvel at our teenagers who did love better than whole ass adults double their age could.

And more importantly above the awe i feel inspired and hopeful because they showed me that there's always a choice. thats there's always another option. you dont need to get out of your comfort zone. but you also dont need to be in the comfort zone always. you dont need to keep lying to yourself. you dont need to hide every single part of you. there are always other options. there is always a choice.

That hope is not just a noun its also very much a verb. That you and i and each one of us can make that choice.

That if ever i choose to partner up with someone and if we do proper healthy communication (patpran invented healthy communication and consent btw, they deserve EVERYTHING for just that but thats a whole other post) prioritizing the relationship where it mattered, i too could have something ( even remotely) like their love.

For the first time in my life probably i felt like that kind of love was attainable for me if i wanted to pursue it. They gave me hope. and they gave me joy. and i will never not be unbelievably grateful for it.

[greynatomy]

haven’t posted in a while. lost some motivation on the other but will get back to it!

there’s is nothing sexual in this post so if you see the mature themes thing, ignore it cause it’s all fluff

this is a lisa manoban x male!reader instagram fix with shawn mendes as basically the face claim. lisa is from blackpink and i’ve become a fan after watching their coachella performances online. songs are a bop and are on repeat

let me know what you think of this one! send in some requests for things you want to see more as long as i have it open

-grey

———

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 6,384 others

ynupdates yn is said to replace frank ocean at coachella weekend 2

view all comments

ynfan3 HOLY SHIT NO WAY

ynfan4 IM GONNA BE THERE

ynfan5 don’t disappoint us yn!!

↳ ynhater1 he’s not main stage worthy

↳ ynfan6 don’t hate before he even performs

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2 and 8,748 others

ynupdates yn arriving for coachella week 2

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ynfan3 HE SO FIIINNUHH??

ynfan4 He looks daddy

↳ ynfan5 he can be my sugar daddy

liked by ynfan1, bpfan1 and 10,847 others

ynupdates yn posted this video of lisa from blackpink on his story. ONLY LISA, not any of the other members!!

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bpfan2 OHMYGOD I AHHHH

ynfan2 any fan of yn’s know that he’s a big fan of bp… esp lisa

↳ bpfan3 wait really?!

↳ ynfan3 yeah! they met when blackpink first performed at coachella and been a fan ever since

↳bpfan4 that’s sick!!

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2, and 12,384 others

celebnews people had great things to say about yn yln's act at coachella. many said that it made up for frank ocean's disappointing performance, or lack thereof. he also performed a new, unreleased song called 'daydreams' and people are swooning.

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ynfan3 OUR BOY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT

ynfan4 all ya'll haters just hating

bpfan1 watched his act cause i heard he was a bp fan and i'm staying cause he is a vibe

↳ ynfan5 welcome new friend!!

liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 10,500,320 others

lalalalisa_m fun in the desert 🌵

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bpfan1 she posted yn and yn only!!

ynfan1 OMGGG I SHIP SO BAAADDD 🚢 🛳️

↳ bpfan1 i watched his act and IT WAS SO GOOD. i ship too

liked by bpfan1, ynfan1 and 15,374 others

bpupdates jennie posted the first one on her story, lisa posted the video as one of her instagram post slides and the last one was posted by a fan

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bpfan2 not lisa posting herself fangirling

ynfan2 awww they all watched the other's performance

liked by lisafan1, bpfan1 and 6,392 others

blackpinkupdates are lisa and y/n y/ln in a relationship? this tiktok has some ‘proof’

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bpfan2 lisa's post from earlier doesn't help with the rumors at all

↳ bpfan3 miss gurl just don't care

↳ bpfan4 she said fuck the management

ynfan1 he def hit that

↳ ynfan2 they could just be friends. they've known each other since 2019 and there weren't anyone saying anything then

↳ ynfan3 or they just hooking up

liked by harrystyles, lalalisa_m and 20,748,046 others

yourinstagram we actually said i do...

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ynfan1 OHMYGOD WHO IS ITTTTT

↳ ynfan2 HE DIDNT TAG ANYONEEEEE

hairstyles it was a great wedding mate. glad to have been your best man

↳ harryfan1 HARRY WAS BEST MAN

bpfan1 LISA LIKED OMGG

ynfan3 IM FREAKING OUT

liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 16,394,299 others

lalalisa_m ...about a year ago

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bpfan1 SHES MARRIED?? SHES FUCKING MARRIED??

jennierubykim AHHHHHHHH

sooyaaa_ YAAAY

roses_are_rosie WE BEEN KNEW

bpfan2 THIS IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING KEPT SECRET

↳ bpfan3 THE QUESTION IS TO WHOOOOO

ynfan1 HOLD UP HOLD UP! YN POSTED SOMETHING SIMILAR

↳ ynfan2 THEYRE MARRIED

liked by ynfan1, bpfan1 and 37,484 others

celebnews yn yln and lisa from blackpink are MARRIED. the two posted their own picture with yn's being "we actually said i do..." and lisa's being "...about a year ago" this came as a total shock to all yn and black pink fans all over as we have not seen them interact at all in the four years since they met. were you just as shocked by the news as everyone else?

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bpfan2 this was not in my list of things that would happed in the celeb world

ynfan2 they're the king and queen of secrets cause WOW

yourinstagram still can't believe she agreed to forever with me

↳ lalalisa_m @ yourinstagram how could i not?

↳ bpfan3 they're so cute ohmygod

↳ ynfan3 officially my favorite couple

bpfan4 DAYDREAMS IS ABOUT LALISAAAA

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[figula]

last night i was thinking how the NHS treated me whenever i was dim enough to ask for help for my madness + just getting like more and more angry remembering it lmfao

i actually think that severing myself from like the idea of "help" and "psychiatry" and "CBT" and "mental health" has been more beneficial to my QOL than literally anything the NHS ever did for me, so im at peace w/ it on the whole, however there were some real highlights:

me sitting sobbing my eyes out in a small room w/ two strangers begging them to Please Help, and receiving a letter a few weeks later saying i wasn't ill enough for any help + i was on my own

being diagnosed w/ BPD (a big regret i have - once i cann afford to spend £250 on a psych visit im going to try and get that scrubbed off my record bc at the time of diagnosis like ~8 years ago i was naive enough to think that a diagnosis that wasn't depression or anxiety would force the NHS into giving me "help". however, obviously, as you all know, a BPD diagnosis is the 2020s equivalent of Female Hysteria

i was offered a round of CBT (classic) but there was an 18m waiting list and in that 18m i was diagnosed w/ the BPD. so i had a conversation w/ them in which they were like "we can only do the anxiety/depression, if you talk about anything BPD-ish we'll terminate you"

went to the minor injuries unit after a particularly bad self-harm session + was not asked any questions about how i was doing mentally, they didnt check i was safe, they didnt ask me if i was gonna be ok at home lol, they just cleaned me / bandaged me / sent me home again (tbh idk what id rather they did tbh like. i dont want to be sectioned - i was just kind of astonished by the lack of pretence at caring how i was doing)

in the last-ditch effort i made to get some "help" i told my (beloved! none of this is his fault) GP that if he had anything going i'd be willing to give it a shot. he told me there was this local unit opening up for "personality disorders" and that given i was motivated + all that shit i would be a perfect fit for it. (at this time i was already leery of the BPD label but i was still thinking like: maybe it will actually open THIS door to "treatment") i said to him: i know for a fact they will not accept me. you're welcome to try, but i am 100% sure that they will find a reason to reject me as a patient. and he was like no no no! haha why wouldn't they :) i'll send them a personal email about you! and they'll take you on my reccommendation! and i was like lol ok roy. anyway yeah of course they didnt accept me - as i told him they wouldnt - and he was so shocked and upset during that conversation where he told me this - and i was just like totally unemotional like "i told you this would happen" and he was like just so shocked about it all (honestly idk why, as a doctor, he must see the carnage, but whatever) and just like "my god - you were right" (yeah no shit roy) and yeah that was just the moment i was like alright im never doing any of this shit again, never ever.

to be honest my suggestion to anyone in a similar situation is to read up on antipsychiatry lmfao (shout out to bananapeppers for forcing it into my eyeballs via tumblr) bc it really changed my mindset for the better. that's probably quite a bleak sentiment to end a post about psychiatry on but uh. i dont know what to say otherwise. i don't believe in "mental healthcare" anymore like i rly dont. im doing 100x better now that i refuse to talk to doctors about my madness. there is no moral to this post

ETA: from @bananapeppers herself: "for anyone reading this who may be interested, this is an England-based antipsychiatry organization that I recommend: Campaign for Psychiatric Abolition ( https://linktr.ee/cpabolition)"

[rizzystem]

hey uh !! - i was wondering about uh moobloom kin haven ?? i saw ur latest post and i wanna get into the kinning fandom , but i noticed the uhhhh " drama " around the kin haven . could i uh , know what happened , and what the blog was about ?? i ' m sorry if i ' m being annoying : /

hello! not annoying at all! i wouldnt call it drama per say and i havent checked updates just because it takes a heavy toll on my mental health and im trying to focus on myself right now after a lot of private drama.

basically, moobloom kin haven was a huge blog that me and some friends made earlier this year, to fufill requests for those who were kin, IRLs or DAs, or systems, so they could get content and just to do requests and make others happy. we gained a lot of traction and everyone worked really hard, but eventually we started getting around 40 requests per day and we were very stressed because exams were coming up, and for 3/4 mods, it was their first times doing exams(with the exception of me), so the blog wasnt abandoned, but requests were slow. eventually, two mods didnt have any motivation, and they left working on the blog but we were still friends while me and another mod carried on every now and then, but the inbox stayed pretty closed. the blog was pretty popular, we hit around 500 followers and had a lot of anons who requested frequently and loved the blog we had a discord, etc.

then came some friend group drama. some people may have seen two of the mods' posts on their personal tumblr and at the time, kin/aesthetic accounts( i believe? ) about the situation, which then we had to get adults involved to take the posts down because of the safety of some involved. because of this, two of the mods were no longer comfortable being my and another mods friends, which i completely understand and im still working on moving past it. by this point, the other mod had also left, so i was the only mod who remained, but i was going to open up mod applications for those who used to request to help after i finished my exams because i didnt want to fail. unfortunately, one day during school, the account was deleted by another mod. this lead to me making an announcement in the discord, which led to one of the former friends and mods making a post about it, leading me to reword my statement, leading to the other mod posting about the situation. i cant blame either of them, and i couldve definitely said my original statement a little better, i admit. anyways, the google account for the blog was deleted, leading the blog to be deleted and i was in the provess of remaking it but this time on my own. (it was confirmed later on that one of the former mods had deleted it and then lied online).

i said in the discord a couple times that i would be remaking it when i had the time, but with a lot of family and personal drama going on, it was very hard to find the time, leading to a couple days ago/a week ago(?), where a new account had taken the username of our blog. i do not have ownership to that new blog, and im very confused on the new moobloom kin haven and their motives, after they said that they were fans and also then said that we stole the blog name from them? but anyways, all you need to know is that one kin blog isnt representing drama for the entire kin community. we are one aspect, and an even smaller one, we're mostly dedicated to the mcyt side of things anyways. i do hope i can get the account back, because moobloom kin haven, when i worked as a mod on it geniunely made me so so happy and i cant help but feel terrible for it being deleted and replaced now. the kin haven was just a small blog me and a few friends made to connect more into the kin community, but now the original is unfortunately gone. dont let this deter you from discovering yourself! do some research on kin, specifically a good carrd is fkin.carrd.co (I THINK. THATS JUST FROM MEMORY), get informed and see if youre kin with anyone or anything! i hope that this explanation helps, and clears up anything who was previously following me for moobloom

i am working on getting the account back. my priority is my mental health, but there are a lot of issues recently thats popped up because of that, but !!! i am trying !! i promise <3!/p

- Wilbur(Mod Wil)

[greydiminishing]

8/13/24

I wanna start journaling in the mornings. I think it'll be really helpful for me. I wanted to journal yesterday but i didnt get to it.

*Firstly, I'm feeling a lot better than I was a month or two ago. I checked my grades and I somehow actually passed all my classes. I'll make a post just on that though.

Yesterday was a nice day. I woke up to loud construction sounds and when I looked out my window, I saw half a tree hanging in the air! It was a tree removal service or something, probably because we had a crazy wind storm the other day and the tree must've gotten unstable. But I got to watch the workers chainsaw massive chunks of this tall tree, then secure it to the lifter with rope and watch it get lifted and "float" to the ground, where they chainsawed off the branches and then pushed it through the chipper. Pretty cool, 10/10 start to the morning even if it woke me up.

Then I made hot cocoa and buttered toast and I had an apple that was maybe the sugariest apple I've ever had. It was almost too sweet. Organic cosmic crisp only $2.99 for 3lbs at aldi! I'll have to bring a bag or 2 when I go back to school.

I didn't get much on my todo list done yesterday. I don't know how or why, when I felt so good and motivated in the morning. I think maybe I was enjoying my leisurely morning so much didn't want it to end. I did do my laundry though.

I've been having a lot of good days/good mornings because I've been taking my adderall. I've been taking it pretty consistently for 2-3 weeks now and the difference is night and day. I feel human. I feel functional. (Escaping the pit of despair I was in when I thought I failed all my classes definitely helped too).

Every time this happens, when I stop taking my adderall because I feel like I don't need it when I'm not in school or doing any work, I end up feeling like shit. And then I start taking it again and the world regains color. When will I learn.

~~~

I'm going to the mall with my friend today. We're gonna see a movie and eat some tacos. I'm excited and nervous. I shouldn't be nervous, but I am. I think it's because it's a 1-on-1 hangout, which I'm usually not good with, but I already know I'm fine with 1-on-1s with this friend.

I'm also a bit nervous because I'm taking the highway to get there. But I literally took the highway two days ago, for the first time EVER (by myself), and for the longest duration that I've ever driven (35 mins lol). So why am I nervous to take the highway a second time for a fraction of the duration?? Idk.

Also, that same day, I drove my other friend's dad home. I've never said more than "hello, how are you" to this man, and now we're in a car for a half hour while I'm driving on the highway for the second time in my life. And I did so good!! (Minus one stop sign I drove past when we got by their house :P) We had some conversation, and I changed lanes smoothly, and it was all good. I was so normal!!

This seems like something I would usually freak out about; driving and awkward social interactions, my two greatest fears (and thats not exaggeration, thinking about getting in an accident, and remembering my awkward social interactions are the two main things that keep me up at night. They cause me intense distress. They are also the two main causes of the weird twitch/tic things i get when i think about something bad). But I was actually so chill about it. If I can do that, I can do anything.

[taigaoftundrablog]

blog post numero uno

i have no idea how this whole blog thing is gonna go, most likely ill find another day to post it other than monday (dear god mondays)...

but i feel like ill figure it out eventually, also these will probably be pretty random each week as i quite literally dont have a schedule of any sort so uh lets begin with it

art stuff with taiga

i have been working on this cool little thing which yall will see eventually, its gonna take like forever to make (woohoo 12 million heckin tutorials) but i am making progress, just got the hardest part left

other art stuff ive been doing is just random doodles from time to time like always, but havent been doing much else art-wise

here's some ms paint doodle i made in a minute or two, just for this

taiga does gaming stuff (what a big surprise she does that like every single day!!)

been playing switch games ever since i got my switch about a month ago, i beat mario odyssey like yeah around a week ago i think, i also should be playing breath of the wild more but motivation has kind of been lacking (i realised i have to go look for koroks) so i've just played both mario maker and odyssey, i have around 550 moons in odyssey and im at 130 levels in endless normal in mario maker

ive also realised i should start playing games ive had in my backlog for like forever (have to play thru celeste, pizza tower, half life 2, cuphead, just to name a few) but i think ill be focusing on switch games primarily for a little while

literally everything else

i'm getting a laptop from my school soon when high school starts!! i don't usually get much time to do stuff on pc so i feel like this will open up new opportunities to learn things like programming (i've been trying to get some sort of start with that but its very difficult to get the motivation to spend all the time i have during a day just to learn programming) but we'll see what i'll do

closing thoughts

nothing too much has happened honestly but next week will be more about school as that's starting wednesday (i hope that wont be too bad), mostly ive just been doing what i usually do each day, that being looking after the kids (my two little brothers) and just trying to get some time to get things i wanna do done

i think the next blogs will have more in depth writing which isn't just a mess of spaghetti all around as i just spent probably around maybe half an hour or a little more writing this? i didnt have a stopwatch on okay im not sure

but i will see you all next week in taiga blog (with me yelling about school!!!)

[makahimetenshi]

Follow me inside the wastelands - Chapter 14  -Arthur Maxson x Female Sole Survivor Fanfic

This one will be a long fic with a lot of chapters, I already write the concepts. Since I don’t play as Nora in Fallout 4 because Nate for me is the real protagonist the personalities and ideas are pretty fanbased from another fanfics I read

 If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

 Lately, inside his quarters, Nora was dressing cute. He didn’t understand the reason but he loved coming inside after a long day of work to admire that beautiful pre-war wife fantasy.

-Dinners ready for you -she said with a smile walking around the place, Arthur couldn't stop looking at the waves and movements of her skirt, long to the knees but still mesmerizing.

-I bring this for you -he said throwing at her a box of Blamco Brand Mac and Cheese, Nora look at it with a stranged face.

-Its radiated? 

-No -at seeing her smile and squeaks of happiness  he sighted relieved. She didnt eat much, thats why is hard for her exercising and gain muscle, he noticed that when she is able to eat something nice not radiated a pure joy takes over her entire body, it must be hard to live having the obligation to eat at least twice a day and not being able to eat almost anything because you hate it. Maybe thats why she despises the life in the wastelands so much, you are obliged to survive and lean on but you cant even perform the most basic thing to do it, eating -i can wait for my meal, lets eat together, make yours while i undress -she nodded with such a beautiful smile that make his heart jump, if she was happy he was happy, he wanted to make her happy, happy at his side.

Still, it was a bit disgusting that she prefers to eat food from 200 years back but he also understanded her point of view. How difficult it must be living through each day and not being capable to enjoy almost any food to brighten your day and she still carry such a good will for everyone's sake. Sometimes his heart hurt at this type of thoughts, thinking on how much he loved her made atches on his chest.

Coming to that realization was a process but truth is they weren't together for a long time, what started as good chemistry turned into affection and adoration. Just a few weeks they officialized being together and this...thing between them just started some months ago, it wasn't much but it was enough for Arthur to not only think, but to be sure that he loved her deeply.

For her strength, confidence, habilities, kindness, sense of humor, flexibility, inteligence, beauty...he loved being around her.

He wished for this to continue, to keep this ilusion alive and ask her for marriage one day. Yeah, thats how sure he felt, he was thinking in that lately.

it helps that she had those actitudes, she was feeling comfortable enough to act like in her old life and Arthur was so relieved that she was doing okay around him.

-So...darling -she chuckled, filling with hot water a cup to spurr her Mac and Cheese, he look at the cup worried that it was a very small portion- how was your day?

-At the Sherrif station we found a case with a lot of pre-war food, i tested it personally and it has no radiation, you should eat more

-I know how to ration my meals, what you found must be someone who saved food to survive the doom day when it comes

-Yeah it was next to a skeleton but it doesn't matter, you can eat more -she stir with the fork the noodles in the cup and smelled it.

-You dont know how long it will pass until another pre-war food appears, its just luck

-Doesn't matter, eat, you can do it today

-Alright -she said not wanting to fight- give the noodles time to soften. So theres a squad already setted?

-Yes, in both places, at least they were checking the conditions of the buildings when i left, the Sherriff station is the worst but there's a lot to loot, too open, the Research center its closed but the floors are destroyed, if we are careful with the structure we can replace them and make news.

-Have supplys already? 

-The minutemens offer a table to eat dinner together everyday, to be together in the nights, some will make guards around the table while the others take turns to eat.

-What about the entrances? and the Brotherhood stations?

-Of course there will be always people, you worry too much to not be around

-Well im sorry a Deathclaw used me like a ragdoll to play -she said testing the noodles, going up to pick up Arthurs dinners.

He sighted, thats not what he meant at all.

-Do you feel guilty? about not being around- he asked, looking at the noodles making bubbles in the yellow water.

-Im not following

-I expect from you to feel imprisioned, trapped, not able to do anything to help while being keep in secret here

-I like being here -she said, leaving his plate over the table calling his attention- i like here knowing that you are safe only

Oh yes, that was good.

-Do you like the Prydwen? -he picked up his fork and moved it around his mutt chops

-No, i like the hot water, but ill like more my in debt house with natural gas, clean unlimited water and a flawless pavement which i pay high taxes to maintain. I only like this because you are around -Arthur smiled uncomfortably. She hated life in the wastelands. Looking at his own food make him feel bad, it look menacing in comparison to her, aggressive, violent, diabolical

-I was worried that you are not taking your medical visits until the next week because you are here in secret

-Im doing fine and moving and recovering, this is the most chill period i ever had since i wake up from the cryo pod...i haven't been able to smell like clean clothes more than just one day in such a long time...

-Me too considering you want to wash mines too

-Shut up -she laughed and drank of her cup, leaving a little mustache of yellow cheese juice over lips- does it taste good? i figured out that if it look like pork ribs it shouldn't taste that bad but dog meat wasn't delicious not even back in my times...

-It taste like dog meat with tato on top, i like it

-I dont know whats the equivalent of honey or vinegar in the wastelands to do barbecue sauce...speaking of which, are you available the week im out here?

-Maybe? -he said a bit confused, chewing.

-Saturday and Sunday?

-Two days? why? -welp now he was really confused

-I organized a party in Sanctuary Hills

-How do you organize a party being here?

-Radio

-Gosh i gotta check up Liberty Radio too for the news now -slippery, thats what she was, she always find the way

-Its a party for my recovery comeback

-But you are not fully healed -Nora was talking so relaxed while he was at the edge of his temper exploding, the knife cutting his meat was already rasping the plate and he didn't noticed until the sound of the metal plate was too evident.

-I got a little something between hands, Sanctuary is pretty far from here and i wanna go walking

-Why? is so far and dangerous lets take a ventibird!

-I dont know if is a good idea for you to leave the Prydwen and be seen two days with the minutemens, why not go undercover? as a date, between only us, not the Brotherhood or all the gossip involved

-I insist that is a dangerous trip for no reason

-Is my party...-the way she said that made Arthur whine out loud, she laughed sipping into her cup, eating some noodles. Both engaged a battle of who had the strongest gaze but after a pair of minutes Arthur surrender, sure, why not, lets risk our lives for a booty call

-Only if you eat that second cup of noodles

Truth is that he was risking himself HARD for a booty call, he, the elder of the brotherhood of steel, the supreme commander going to some farm settlement of citizens, of course all armed, with their general for two days without telling anyone. It was nonsense, crazy, stupid, he could be ambushed, he could be spellbounded from her for months to fall into this obvious trap to extorsion the brotherhood or something, she could be a double agent, after all being sentinel and also general of another force isn't normal but...but...

He trusted her, with his life. And he loved her.

This wasnt a trap, nor an ambush, this was a pure gesture from her and that's all, a party for them to be free and alone. -Yes elder -she said eating again- anyway i recommend to go with our power armors early in the morning  for safety and ill coordinate with the radio so a caravan picks us and get us a ride at some point to go faster, i don't wanna spend the whole day walking  -not to mention that she wasn't fully recovered on the legs to have that type of exercise

-A power armor date? -he said and she chuckled, the yellow cheese water splurted all around his cheeks and mouth, Arthur went up to clean her mouth with a tissue as she keep laughting, gosh he loved that.

-While there i can dress you with normal clothes, i have some mens pants in good state saved in my house.

OhMyGoshIts true. They were going to her place this time. The place, like, her real place. Yesyesyeyseysyeysyeyes now he wanted to really go, she was inviting him.

-Why do i need to be undercover? we officialized our thing -he went back to his plate, eating.

-Safety, and i don't need nobody treating you different, here at the Prydwen is one thing and its amazing but scribes told me that you have...cults around you? -she was chewing on the noodles, that was a good sing for Arthur, he was happy she was eating and talking.

-Yeah...-he moved around the collar in his neck uncomfortably, chewing, that was a delicate subject for him.

-You did good and its understandable, but I prefer for this days for you to be some other normal folk to enjoy my surprise -Arthur smiled lightly, she respected him and his special needs, she was caring. Nora studied him enough to know how to be together as it was some kind of manual to not slip and make an error that would compromise them.

-Ill see what type of excuse i can make to be off here without people freaking out, i trust you to not be recognized but im sure well have a good time, now prepare the water for that second cup of noodles.

-You are bossy today elder -she said and he kicked her under the table, keep eating.

The settlement of the Brotherhood troops went so well at Croup Manor that when the supplies arrived Arthur barely had to check anything, his soldiers were patrolling around the beaches, the turrets and lights were placed with a proper cable connection however generators were provided by the minutemens, that was the only weird thing but they worked, it just works. Now the beaches were guarded so twice a day a Mireluk emerged to watch on the people walking, just watching, they cant jump the fences and as soon they were spotted a warning shoot was trow, yeah, a warning shoot, because nobody want to attract a mireluk queen again to destroy all the work, for now, it worked, and it was going fine. Maxson was mesmerized to see people...walking on the streets...

The minutemens were cleaning the place, trimming the savage vegetation, moving trash out to the streets, some others were scraping to take as many resources they can...they were a community of..normal folks. Of course it isn't as innocent and pink as it looks like, they were cleaning and taking out the trash to use the land, start working it to make gardens and crops, separate it for the cattle, fence it to declare private property of whoever claimed that houses first. He understanded. But when he see an improvised post that sell old pre-war things scavanged from the houses and people bought with caps...

Maxson feel in peace, like, life before the war could be like this, and Nora made this possible, she showed him this vision.

A woman bought a bed in good state for her new house, another bought a pair of good shoes, a man exchange a gun for a shovel...Better not fall in the charm, this was possible because they were isolated and protected by the Brotherhood, also Libertalia wasnt far from here, better be careful with the raiders. 

Nora made this possible for this people, this moment of peace and socialization exist thanks to her, and he wanted to protect this, her project, her settlement, her idea of peace and people having this freedom

There was an empty house that no one claimed, when he asked about it, the minutemens said that it was reserved for the generals...alright...

He wanted her to be at his side, to keep making this projects come true together, give bring freedom to people to be able to see this visions again. He was lucky to have Nora at his side.

The end of her imprisonment was over without anyone getting news about it, one day after 14 days Nora just showed up a saturday morning in Cade infirmary to check the wounds on her legs, same with some exercising and clean up, now she was ready to go. Still, a power armor was needed, she needed the extra support of the exoskeleton.

The woman picked up a team of paladins early in the morning to go into a big old restaurant that had a big barbecue and get it back to the airport by the noon. Arthur was surprised to heard that the sentinel and the paladins were...playing around...with some apparently kitchen items in some place of the airport but he wouldn't interfere in the sentinels project... But he would at least get interested when a caravan with two pieces of already treaty radstag went into the entrance of the airport and Nora let them inside.

Two pieces done for eating, no head, no tail, no knees or whooves, bloodrained, apparently fresh, no furr or leather of course.

But what caught more his attention that there was two man with the caravans, sure, there was the driver of the caravans, which they paid to leave the cargo and go away, and also Preston Garvey and MacCready, great...sure Arthur have no problem with the minutemen general but the mercenary was at least...despitefull...

When he heard rumours of a barbecue...and see from the windows some fire and smoke...well he went down the Prydwen to the ground...to see what was up

-Will you give the orders or ill do? -said Preston to Nora, feeling out of place, but she wanted him there, she promised to them that shell be back, that she wasnt trapped on the brotherhood or anything, that shell be with them again.

And she kept her promise.

-Let me, they don't know you -better be than the sentinel giving orders than some stranger- Everybody don't worry, that wood is for scrap uses trow it all to the barbecue, we don't have natural gas or fire starter anymore so lets heat it!

-It took some work to take the leather out, now its sun drying and we move it when theres fire made, its a pain in the ass -said MacCready

It was expensive to make fire after all, wood and firewood were uses difficult to use.

-Well i want a good leather backpack so...-something something make her turn the head to one side, she didn't exactly know why she wanted to look that way with such...instinctive behavior until she saw the unique combat jacket and went running to Arthur, waving her hand until she was right in front of him with a smile -we are doing a barbacue!

-I can see that, why? -he asked curiously, looking at the fire and the exposed preys in a table.

-The other day i was reading something and i remember how annoying was Nate about having a barbecue with all his friends to celebrate the baby first year, its apparently a man thing, to do barbecues for the friends, i researched back then all the way to prepare it since he didn't know how to cook it despite wanting it so much even for other people. I mean i investigated and he bought the barbecue, the barbecue is of course lost in the wastelands, scavenged despite paying in interest-free fees since practically our baby's birth, anyway i remember that lost knowledge and wanted to prepare one since some radstags are not so different from old deers, its going to be fun!

Cool, that was some interesting reason.

-And why are they here? -he asked, not to be malicious but pure curiosity.

-It would be shitty to make them carry that precious and high valuable cargo and protect it without inviting some right? let them, they are under my watch and care. Besides some soldiers worked with that pair, they are not full strangers -he didn't trust that much the mercenary but Preston was a respetable soldier. Arthur make some signs with the hand, waving at them, when the mens understand they came by them to meet.

-Good evening elder -said Preston offering his hand, Maxson agreed and shake it.

-Its nice to meet on more quiet situations -said the elder to the second general

-Well that pricy radstag its going to be a blast for everyone, not sure if quiet is the most accurate word -said the mercenary, calling his attention.

-Pricy? -he asked.

-It doesnt matter Macready, the general paid for everything without a problem -said Preston to Macready. Nora had a peacefull smile on his face, Maxson didnt get it.

-Yeah because she is rich.

-Im not rich -Nora interrupted the talk a bit annoyed for the comment.

-Hell yeah you are, you buy not only one but two!

-Wait Nora you paid for these pieces!? -asked Arthur at the edge of having a heart attack. He tought it was gift or something from the citizens but...

-Of course, i know meat is expensive and these two are ready to cook, no waste at all and they even give us the extras, im will make sure somebody will do fine clothes with the leather. What? do you think im a tax-collector or some kind of land lord? -the elder breath hard but he was kinda impressed by her way of think,admirable at least, very considerate very little transactional- people doestn own me tribute for protection or anything, i just put the announcement on a post and some farmers family offer themselves to do the job, they put their price and i say ill pay when it see it done. And there it is!

Arthur was shook, and Macready could see it.

-Do you wanna know how much? we both made the payment and make sure it will arrive here. -something inside  the elder told him it was better to not know, but knowledge is power and brotherhood needed power, so he agreed with the head- 8000 caps each piece, 4000caps the caravan here

-Nora thats way too much! even for me! -she looked to another side, sighting tired, she didn't expect to be lectured about money from the most powerfull man in the commonwealth, they really were poor- how do you even got that amount!?

-Because she is rich -Preston hit Macready in the ribs and he whined, Arthur looked at them confused asking for answers.

-The general never uses the caps she collects, she trades. -Preston said lightly

-Theres no inflation in the wastelands i can just leave all the wealth accumulate! besides there's nothing to buy! is not like i can buy a car! if i bought a boat theres no guarantee i can use it, there's no fuel or gas! -Nora talked to...excuse herself? what the hell she didnt need this lesson

-Wawa-wait -said Arthur

-Ohohohoho this is the moment, watch this -said Macready to Preston, both watched the secuence.

-Accumulate? So you are telling me you have an ally of caps? like that deposit of chems? -he was trying to imagine in his head the situation because his own imagination wasn't enought to picture it. He was far beyond money, he didnt need it now but before his life as an elder everything was all about caps and having them was hella useful

-Yes -she said and his jaw dropped, shooked, completly still on his place.

-Well this is a secret anyway -said Preston whispering, and Arthur couldn't agree more, nodding with his head- we don't want her kidnapped to get the secret of her wealth

-Of course not -man Arthur feeled small right now, she was precious and valuable before but now heck she was a hell of a price! she even had more fortune than him! She really needed to be safe and protected! she was too perfect for her own good

-Oh my god i should have seduced  Jack Cabot instead, i can't believe you all consider this misery being rich, he is really rich if we make comparisons... -Arthur felt a string of jealousy but he let it pass, he had more questions...

-Wait you are a mercenary -Arthur pointed at Macready, he nodded to participate in the conversation- so you work for her for money

-Yes, she is my boss

Arthur noose breath HARD, trying to go slowly and understand better -an unique payment?

-At first yeah but then she started to give me 250 monthly and after i bring Dunkan here with me at the commonwealth she gave me 400 a month  -the elder look at her back with his eyes going wide, she ignored him, looking at the fire faraway and how it started to get bigger.

-Nora you are supposed to pay a mercenary once only -said the elder, not believing what he was hearing.

-i said the same when i meet him -Preston interrupted.

-I just figured out that if somebody calls you boss you have to give him a salary -she said.

-Yeah, this is the part, you see? i never heard about that word: salary, crazy -said Macready trying to not laugh at the elder of the brotherhood, if the soldiers around see that lack of respect they would shoot him and he didnt want problems.

-After i graduated i wanted to also have a 5 days 9-18 work with a SALARY monthly, not a freacking internship like it was some kind of favor to work...and having a kid is expensive so better cash well...-oh no she was talking things from before the war they couldn't understand, at seeing their confused gazes she sighted tired- gosh i should really seduced Jack Cabot, he may double my age but he really understand what a luxury is, now, if you excuse me im gonna use my knowledge on how to make a successful barbecue, i didn't study the perfect recipe to not be the winner trophy wife

She left and  Arthur was speechless. He sighted deep. Feeling tiny under her. He wanted to only feel like that in bed not in everything else and...

-Who is Jack Cabot? -he asked, whispering to them.

-Oooooohhh he wants to know -Macready had a silly smile but Preston hit him on the ribs again, fucking idiot.

-I don't know him, i know Nora help that family a while ago and now they hang around sometimes because they are kinda friends -said Preston cordially.

-Right right but is he kinda...a fling or something? -Macready suggested a theme that Arthur wasn't so sure to want on keep listening but...

-I will not say more about my general private life -corrected Preston to the mercernary actually indignant, Arthur was glad that he had her back, that he was a reliable man- but i dont think so anyway, never left it between lines. I think Paladin Danse knew him.

The elders heart sinked down on his chest at hearing that name. He will always be between them. Always.

-Ohohohoho  Danse was definitely a fling -in the moment Macready said that Preston looked at him badly, and hit him strong on the sides- stop that! -he whined securing his sides with the hands.

-Shut up -whispered Preston to him, menacing to fucking end the subject.

Arthur step back, he wouldnt ask. He wanted to know but he wasn't ready to know or ask her.

At looking where she was they were already placing the pieces on the barbacue the teams of Paladins recover and bring on the noon, soldiers and her, working together to give the brotherhood an expensive gift, a well received feast.

A pain appeared on his stomach, so much things makes sense.

When both men spotted the sadness that took over the elder Macready said.

-I never liked that guy anyway.

Maxson watched the preys burn in the fire, a smoky smell was around in the air. 

The warm orange light illuminated the sentinel black suit againts the fire, making her look beautiful.

He sighted.

-The pieces are going to slowburn for 2 hours according to Noras instructions and when we can start cutting large but slim chunks -Preston wanted to desperately change the subject and being friends back again please

-You think theres enough? i don't know how many people is here but...-said Macready also looking to the fire.

-Well is just a dinner and she said we can eat until the bones and cook absolutely everything so...

Arthur Maxson may better enjoy this dinner.

The elder apologized to both minutemen and retired to his quarters to keep working, after all two hours was a lot of time to wait he can use. Not with the best of encouragement of course. An hour later, music and cheers can be heared even in the skies, everybody was already celebrating and party, he couldn't see it since he didn't have a direct view to the airport but it wasnt hard to imagine

De did not wish to come around tho.

Two more hours passed, he still can hear the music and his soldiers having a good time on the grounds.

Half hour later, the doors of his quarters open, a smoky smell appeared in the room. It was Nora, with a box on a bag.

-You are such a jerk i search for you everywhere to be here.

-I must lost track of time -he said, not having a real excuse for his behavior, this took a lot of work and risk for her and he wasnt appreceating enought. At first he planned on saying that the smoke will ruin his jacket but it wasnt necesarry to lie like that

-Its already cold -Nora took out the box off the bag and open it, showing that there was chunks of steak covered in a red-bownish sauce, she grabbed a fork and a knife from nearby and started cutting it- but it taste amazing, i can believe it came out this good in my first attempt with a wasteland creature. -then she eat the pieces, chewing them with a smile, sitting on the table to be more confortable

Arthur open his eyes wide at the scenario, specially looking at the chewing and swallowing on her face.

-Wait you are eating? -he never see Nora eat actual wasteland food before, radiated raw material.

-It looks too good to not try, and its so delicious! This is my...five...try it! -Arthur quickly stand up and grab another fork and knife, cutting a piece and quickly eating it. She was right, it was tasty, it melted in his mouth, and he never experienced a flavour similar, there was stag meat and somekind like the tato sauce the made the other day...He devoured the steak quickly, licking his lips after finishing it.

She was eating. He had to support this. He was glad she was eating.

-I love it, theres more? -he said picking up her arm to make them go outside his quarters, better go before she changes her mind about eating radiated food.

-Yesyesyes of course, let me pick the box so they can warm it up, it went cold all the way up the ventibird and coming here and...-she was exited that he looked so in a hurry to get more, her idea turned out like a sucess.

-Nonono i want to save for tomorrow, leave it, forget the box, lets get more directly from the fire -he said to not lose a second and both went off the room closing the door back, holding hands until Nora stop him by stop walking, the man turned back to see her and she jumped directly to his neck to hug him, at first he didnt understood but then he surrender and hug her by the waist, he was in no position to defend himself from a hug, he loved her hugs, she smiled wide  and he smiled shy, caressing their noses in a  affectionate little play,.

This was nice, relaxing. He shouldn't go away before, she...she...Arthur couldn't assure she loved him, he never asked, confessed, or clarify things but this type of moments make him fantasize about being loved back by her. He didn't need to doubt or feel bad, it distracts him from the present and he didn't want to loose a  single moment of this.

His head turned looking for a kiss, inviting, and she corresponded, but only small kisses, melting their lips swiftly, wet kisses, she did that a couple of times until Arthur bite his lower lip and she tried to separate laughing low but he wouldnt allow it, tightening his grip around her waist.

-Not here...-she said between small laughts.

-You are right, lets get down to get the best pieces, i bet they are running out!

He preferred to use the chance to see  her eat and fill her stomach, this didnt happend frequently to lose the chance for some sex, they can smash the other later and he had the feeling that a great night was coming, but first, lets eat together, share a meal, a common meal prepared by her.

Gosh he wished to be loved back so bad.

 Macready turned out to have a totally different personality than in the game, i think Deacon would be more accurate to this type of dialogue but I wouldn’t have much sense with this specific trama for him to be here, anyway

 I still gotta write the lemons.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14242575/14/Follow-me-inside-the-wastelands

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn 

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 

he only wants to have conversations with you 

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 

he really fucks w your laid back vibe 

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:  

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked 

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 

your next conversation works out well for the both of you 

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[intomybubble]

I have several drafts regarding A3!mon stuff I've been thinking about over the last week just sitting around so I think I'm just going to make it into two or three separate posts. This one will be a general update on teams, this time including side characters. The other ones will be about headcanons, world building, and movesets. 

Before I forget, Spoiler Warning since this includes characters that haven’t been introduced/shown in the ENG server yet.

So side characters! I finally got around to starting Yuzo and Tetsuro's, and they almost have a full party I feel good about. For Tetsuro, I was initially going to with bulky Ground/Rock types (Ex. Gigalith, Crustle), but since he’s actually a softie for cute animals that’s the route I went with.

Excuse the Yuzo chibi, but that’s the only one I found that I could use. Electrode is sort of an odd choice, but it has a base speed of 150 and I’d like to imagine it chasing actors during practices for fun as extra “motivation”.

Next are Madoka, Shifuto, August, and July. Of these, July’s was actually pretty fun to think about despite him having the least info to work off. I like my picks for Shifuto and August, but I don’t know if I like what I picked for Madoka. Since Madoka’s name contains a kanji meaning “round”, similar to how Misumi’s name has the same kanji for “triangle”, I wanted to pick pokemon that fit that. 

I haven’t really made any changes to Reni and Haruto, but I’ve been feeling iffy about some of my Haruto choices so I’m leaving him at three for now (org. 5)

I also have some in mind for the OG Mankai leaders, but I don't really know what to go for so it’s sort of a mess. Mostly for Zen, less so for Hiro. I hope the more I read about them in Act/Year 3, the better idea I have of what they’re like

In regards to both the OG leaders and God-za members, I saw these on twitter a while ago and it looks like I have official character colors I can work with! Though I still need to figure out what color to actually use for the OG leaders...

Onto the main Mankai cast, I finally decided on the last few slots for a couple teams so now Sakuya, Misumi, Juza, and Taichi are pretty much done. I’ve been iffy on Tasuku’s for a while but I think I feel better about his now.

Masumi, Itaru, Citron, Tenma, Kumon, and Banri are still works in progress since I’m still not certain on about half of their party members (pls... I’m open to suggestions)

I’ve only shown part of their teams in the past, but Matsukawa is pretty much settled on. I added a few more to Sakoda’s, and now he has a Meowth just like how Sakyo used to. But Sakyo’s first meeting with his meowth was when it tried to mug him while he was doing a shady delivery job in high school, while Sakoda’s meowth was hanging out by the pachinko slots on his day off.

Then for Izumi... I don't know what I should do about her. I know I want to keep the Sawsbuck since it’s appearance changes with the seasons and that fits with Mankai's overall concept. There are some I’m considering, but I’m still unsure...

To end this off, this came to mind yesterday and I'm shocked I didnt think of it earlier but... Azuma's friend Asajo, aka the "Long Legged Witch"? Tsareena and Hatterene are obviously the most fitting options. Oh and I just found out that Hatterene's pretty much a tiny alien in a trench coat of hair and I think that’s adorable

[authenticcadence18]

hello :) its uh. its anon. Lol.

my life is getting extremely busy w school starting again so i havent been online as much. i dont really have the energy to keep sending Daily Asks but i also didnt wanna just ghost this completely so!!! hi :D

i started reading CHFIL when i got into pnf n i completely fell in love with it and ur writing style!! then a couple months ago u gave me some writing advice on one of my posts (how it reached u is a complete mystery to me but?? wow)

what you said was a huge motivator for me when i was struggling with any of my creative writing assignments. so thank you so much for that !!!

i hope u have an extremely pleasant evening and take lots of care of yourself <3

OHMYGOSHHHHH ANON AKA @wermiez HI!!!!!!! IT’S YOU!!!!!! I had a feeling it might be you!!!!! (I remember you sent me an ask about what I wanted to teach a few weeks ago!) Ah this makes my heart so happy!!!!!!

Friend I FEEL YOU, I’m about to start school again and I just KNOW I’m going to be suuuper busy. I hope school goes well for you!!!!! And AH you didn’t have to send this ask, but I appreciate it so much!!!

Oh my 🥺🥺.....I’m so glad you’ve liked reading CHFIL! Knowing you’ve liked it and my writing style touches my heart. Chapter 10 is coming along, very slowly but surely! And YES I REMEMBER THAT!!!!! You are so so welcome!!! I’m happy I was able to help!!! And my inbox is always open if you ever have writing questions😁 (not that I am a professional by any means, but I am always eager to help or provide encouragement!)

Thank you so much!! I’ve had so much fun answering your asks: they made me feel so special😊. (I got your previous ask and definitely plan on answering it, I just needed some time to think through answers to your questions because they were really good ones!!! Once you sent this ask I knew I had to answer it first!)

I hope you have a fantastic semester at school and just a fantastic life in general!!!! You’re amazing!

[bravescribbles]

Trouble in Paradise Pt. 2 Power couple pt. 5

Here comes the angst! Dont say I didnt warn you...!! I also made a post before this one about some spotify playlist I made about the pairings in this ship except for Dickinette and Brucinette just cause I don’t have a particular feel for their music amongst my collecetion. But if you want to ask questions or make any suggestions about music choices, please let me know and I will be more than happy to discuss about them. Now here comes the angst 

There was a shooting in Paris at an event that Sabine and Tom were catering at while at the same time Scarecrow attacked the post office where Mari was receiving a care package from her parents.  Marinette was infected with fear toxin that made her hallucinate that her parents died in front of her while having Damian appear and kill her whilst saying that he never loved her and the arranged marriage was a bluff for his affair with Lila Rossi

 While real-time in Paris they were shot at close-range point blank with a muzzled gun in the midst of the shooter rampage. Batman and associates arrived then gave her the antidote for the toxin but in the hospital where she is recovering she sees the news about Paris. 

"Among the fallen were award winning bakers Tom and Sabine Dupain-Cheng owners of Tom and Sabine Bakery which had multiple store locations though their original was here in the heart of Paris on Ducal St., they are survived by their only daughter Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Al-Ghul who is also more commonly known as the fashion mogul MDC This Paris News 7 with the latest update, back to you Paul in New York."

Mari after that loses it completely, she had to be restrained and held in a psychiatric ward for a bit just for the safety of herself and others around her. She had to be placed in a medically induced coma just to let her body heal properly. Damien, on the other hand, is about to destroy anything in his warpath, first his wife was attacked by the Scarecrow and was made to be seen Ra's only knows what terrors. Him not knowing that he, himself was part of the terror that scarred his wife. Second his beloved aunt and uncle was murdered. Though he has his suspicions that it may have been an enemy of the League who killed them. *T’was not*

 Hell was about to rise and no one was safe from his wrath. Once Damian gets to Gotham hospital, the doctors inform him about his wife being in the psych ward and her mental instability. Added punch to the gut she's pregnant. Only about 6 weeks but with everything that has been happening and her body being generally small the safest thing is consider an abortion and try later. Damian does not take the news well. 

There may have been mistreatment of medical equipment added to the bill along with threats of harassment against the doctors...

He finds his disregarded family waiting outside her room and snarls in disgust because how dare they try to show sympathy for his wife in order to gain his trust. Bruce, Dick and Tim are the ones outside of the hospital room with Babs and Cass coming from the cafeteria with coffee in their hands. 

“You have no business being here, this is an Al Ghul matter, which makes it a matter of the League.Not that is should concern any of you, leave now ibn kalb*” dismissed Damain despite protest from everyone. 

He walks into her room and sees all the machines hooked up to his queen, who looks like shes been to hell and more, he grabs her hand tightly and leaves a kiss on her forehead, whispers to Mari’s abdomen

" hello amira*, i am your alab*, your mother is asleep right now, you have to help me wake her so we can be a family together." 

Shes in a coma for about 2 weeks. There’s constant news coverage about her condition from the scarecrow attack along outpouring support from celebrities, actors, and average clients along with her Paris friends. Neither Sabine or Tom have any other siblings or family that collect their body. Gina has unforgettably passed away 3 years ago due to age, and decaying mental health. 

Damain doesn't leave her side the whole time, he’s there during visiting hours every single day, he’s relentless about his search for Scarecrow in order to enact revenge for harming his wife and unborn child. He has lost a portion of his muscle mass due to not working out and lack of nutrition, he also has a growing 5 o’clock shadow growing due to lack of hygiene. 

Though at night, Damian calls a truce with his father to take down the scarecrow, though on the other side of the world he has a secret op group that is hunting down the shooter that killed Sabine and Tom. They were not successful in that mission. 

When Marinette wakes up though, she wakes up in the middle of the night, precisely when Damian and batfam take down the Scarecrow. Though all the boys have to physically hold Damain back from not taking of Scarecrow’s head right off. So she freaks out again though this time due to her scarecrow vision’s making it actually seem Damian ran off with Lila. When Damian finally gets to the hospital, he has to calm her down without mentioning anything about the baby to not further stress her out. 

“Oh beloved I was so scared when I woke up, nobody was there and I thought you had left me alone”

“No my queen, I was taking revenge in honor of you, I’m ashamed that the disgrace of a father denied me my trophy but be rest assured that the enemy is contained.” 

ibn kalb-Son of dog, amira- princess, alab-father) These are the rough translations, i did some research about son of dog, appearantly is an insult, though i can always be mislead, the other translations are from google so in case they are  wrong let me know and I will adjust. 

So this Pt. 2 of troubles in Paradise but by no means is that the end of it. We still have to see about the baby though and who shot Tom and Sabine, what is their motive? Let me know what you think! (I swear I thought I posted this yesterday but my dumbutt forgot to change save draft to post now.... oops

Taglist

@lenamau @fandomfan @vixen-uchiha @vanillacoffee-bean @the-fusionist, @naimena @maribat-2k20girl23 @myazael  @winter-gardenflower @zestyzealot @moonlightstar64 @crazylittlemunchkin @dreamkitty25, @certainmuffinbagelcalzone @alexzandria-747, @damianette-is-life 

[quokkalatte]

I havent posted on here for awhile but I wanted to talk ab something that's been on my mind recently and I've been dwelling on it a lot lately. And it comes to supporting a friend, when they tell you they have a crush on someone.

When your friend approaches you, whether it be through text, face time, or face to face, and they tell you that they have a crush on someone, you want to be supportive right? You want to tell them "ooo ask them out then!" Or something along those lines. And if they get nervous about it, and are scared that their crush will reject them, do not say "what's the worst that could happen? Theyll reject you?"

Becuase yes. Rejection IS a worst case scenario. It might not seem big. Your crush not liking you back, so you pick yourself up and move on. Or at least that's how some people would view it. But the thing is, if you dont know a person's history when it comes to romantic interest, saying something like that can be damaging.

As I've grown up, and developed crushes on people, and when I would confide in friends, that's normally how the conversation would go. They get giddy and excited, and tell me I should ask them out. And that was okay, but over time, it wasnt. Because every. Single. Time. I would get rejected. My first crush on a boy was in elementary school. And ever since two months ago, every time I told a boy I liked them, they would reject me, often in a cruel manner.

When a freind of mine would say "the worst they can do is reject you" I would get this feeling in my stomach, and I would always think "exactly. That's the exact WORST thing that could happen. Becuase rejection hurts, and it affects others differently.

There are those who can just pick themselves up and move on. No harm no foul. But for people like me, those experiences stick to you and morph you.

Hitting Middle school, the rejection got worse. I had three small crushes in the span of three years. And every single one had found out. When I told them, they looked at me funny, and would leave to their group of freinds. And they would tease me. And laugh at me becuase I was different. I wasnt the skinny pretty little girls like the others in my class. And it was around that time I'd realised that. After the first two, there was a third. This experience is probably where alot of my issues resolved. And it was only 6th grade.

I didnt even tell him that I'd liked him, a classmate found out and told him during recess. We were waiting in line to go back inside for class, and the school I went to we had uniforms. Mine always fir tightly becuase I was bigger than most of the girls in my class. I remember I was wearing my favorite blue jacket and the khaki pants we were required to wear. When the classmate ran over to the boy I'd liked, he'd pointed at me and told him. The boy turned and looked at me, and got the most disgusted look on his face, and shouted "EW!" Before walking away. I proceeded to get upset. The classmate approached me, and in a pitting manner told me he didnt think that my crush would react that way. The girls I were freinds with said horrid things about the boy I'd liked, but the only thing that I could think of was the look of disgust on his face at the simple thought that I'd had a crush on him.

And it stuck with me. It still does. Containing through high school I became more reserved when it came to the guys I liked. I never told my friends who my crushes were, and when they outed me about it, that's all they wanted for me to do was to tell him. Tell him becuase what's the worst that could happen? He could reject me?? Yes. Becuase in my mind, I was ugly. I was undeserved of every having a boyfriend. And I was convinced I would never have one. I would look in the mirror and loath what I saw. I hated how I looked becuase all I could see were what they saw. I wore hoodies all the time even in hot weather so that I could cover my arms. I didnt want any of me showing. I wouldnt wear shorts becuase I hated how big my legs were. I held so much self loathing for myself, I wouldnt look in a mirror for longer than I had to.

That had gone on for years. I've hated myself for years becuase of judgment. Because I feared what people thought of me. It didnt just extend to what I thought the boys thought, but everyone thought. I hated attention being attracted to me, and my social anxiety got worse. Anything that brought attention to me would make my heart pound and my palms sweaty and my head buzzing with a hundred thoughts that made it so difficult to function.

It was only recently in the past couple years I've been able to accept myself. And I'm still very far off. And it might sound dumb or cliche, but the only reason that sparked this, was kpop. My friend introduced me to BTS, and I got invested in them. I loved them. I loved these 7 boys, who radiated such happiness and positivity. Their concept of loving yourself for who you are, and that the closest to you would do the same, those words meant alot to me. They helped me when I was anxious. Their music was, and still is, so soothing to me.

In my Senior year of high school I was taking my health elective, and we were learning about the BMI and to test what ours was. I refuse to share what my results were, but they werent healthy. As the teacher droned on about the topic, I sat in the back of the class quietly crying and trying to get myself to stop but I couldnt, and I felt a panic attack coming on, and I was scared that I would bring attention to myself, so I needed to distract myself from it, and I plugged my earbuds in and pulled up a BTS video. It was just a 2 minute video of Jimin laughing, and that was enough. I calmed down enough to collect myself, and I stopped crying.

Two years later I'm still not perfect. I still have a very toxic mentality of myself, and I can accept that I might need help, more than what KPOP groups can give me. They did give me the tiniest of nudges to help me, and I am very grateful.

I've told you what you shouldnt say to someone when they tell you that they have a crush on someone, so here's what you COULD say.

Your friend is worried, that their crush might reject them. You can offer your support.

"I'm here for you. I hope it works out, and I'm sure it will. And if not, I'll be here to help you"

"I understand you're scared, I see why you are. You dont have to tell them unless you're ready. I'm in your corner if you need me"

Motivate your friend in a good way. Dont pressure them into it, becuase it can make them anxious and stressed because they feel like they HAVE to tell their crush, and it makes it worse on them. Encourage your freind to get to know their crush. Tiny things, speaking to them. And if their scared about that, reassurance will help them. Offering advice and tips on what they could say and do will help them.

This is my last personal story to pair with this. I developed a crush on a guy. We met through a mutual freind, one who happens to be a very good friend of mine. I got his snapchat, and since then we've talked every day since. I didnt realise that I'd had feeling for him until a month into just chatting, and I started to wonder if he felt the same. The select few people i told all told me that it was possible, and they believed that all the signs he gave me were pointing towards yes, he did like me. I was still unsure, so very unsure.

My best friend is who helped me the most. I told him about a week after I found out my crush on this boy, and he was immediately supportive. He never once said to me "worst case scenario he rejects you". He told me o should talk to him more, get to know this boy and see what happened. My feelings became stronger every passing day. This boy made me so happy, and he was unlike any of my past crushes. I was so used to the guys I liked wanted nothing to do with me, or if they actually DID, it wasnt becuase of me, but because they wanted nudes. The few experiences I'd had with guys before this boy were awful. I had been talking to a guy but all he cared about was sex and nothing else and ignored me for a month, and then proceeded to ask for nudes becuase he was horny. It was very damaging for my mental state, and I was in a rough place. Id cried to my best freind, begging for him to tell me what was wrong with me. Why boys didnt reciprocate my feelings, and when they showed even the slightest of interest it was because they were horny. I felt like I would never find anyone ever.

I was scared, after developing feeling on this boy. I told my freind the same stories I've shared here. How I was terrified of being rejected. Becuase I'd gotten to know this boy and felt more for him than what freinds normally would. My best friend was so supportive, he stood by me when I would get anxious and when I would tell him my fears and doubts.

It took me 3 weeks to gett the courage to tell this boy that I liked him. The day I told him my nerves were shot, my palms were slick, but I did it. I confessed to this boy that I liked him. Funny enough, it was through a meme. It said that "I might have a big fat crush on you but I'm scared to say anything" my nerves were on fire my body was numb. It might sound like an exaggeration but this was how I was feeling. I was texting all three of my supportive freinds at once. My best freind was the first to know, he was with me through the entire time I talked to my crush. My crush had asked why I was scared to tell him, and I'd told him that I didn't want to make him uncomfortable becusse we'd grown close in the time we were talking. He reassured me that I couldnt make him uncomfortable. I'd asked how he felt about me. At this point my heart was in my throat. I watched the icon that showed he was typing and I was ready, I was ready for him to reject me, like all the boys had done before.

But he told me he felt the same. He didnt reject me. He was worried becuase we live so far apart from each other, and we werent sure how long distance would do for us, and how Covid19 would take into play. But I'd said I was up to try if he was, and he was too.

That was two months ago as of writing this. But if it wasnt for my best friend being so supportive of me, I dont think I could ever have told my boyfriend that I liked him. Even now, the concept is foreign to me. My trauma is still apparent becuase I cannot fathom how someone as amazing as him likes me back, after years of getting rejected and my mental health being damaged by the countless teasing. The first time he called me beautiful, I broke down and cried, because it felt too good to be true.

I'm sharing this, I'm sharing my experiences becuase i wanted to help people know how they could help a friend who might share similar experiences with me, get through the fear of rejection. Telling someone their worst case scenario doesnt help ease their worries. But offering your support, and reassuring them that it would be okay and that you will be there for them will.

Rejection is a part of life, and its something you cannot really control. But if the right words can help you get over your fear of it, then it does help ease the pain.

I'm not saying that all my past friends who told me rejection was my worst case scenario were trying to be malicious, they just wanted me to be happy and were excited for me. I understand that.

And if you ever were that friend who said that, it doesnt make you a bad friend. You were trying to help in your own way. But this may help for future interactions, or at least I hope it will.

You dont always know the experiences that your freinds go through, but being there and supporting them through their fears will help them, and give then confidence.

My best freind has supported me through so much, and it was him who helped me overcome one of my biggest fears.

I hope you found this extremely long PSA to be helpful and I hope I explained myself the best I could. If something is unclear to you please tell me I want to help everyone I can, because I beleive you all deserve to be happy.

And no of course you dont need a partner to be happy. You can be strong and independent in your own way and find your happiness there.