#i made my friend 5 notebooks but with 80 leaves each

[lemonadebombery]

Kunikida's Ideal Notebook

the pages are dotted bc i like dotted notebooks marginally better than lined notebooks bc i can organize and put stuff in little boxes and stuff

has 40 leaves total which is enough for my personal needs, i can always make another one when i need to

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Two Points Higher | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 5380

A/N: I started binging Criminal Minds last week and I’m already on season 5... Spencer Reid is precious and my asexual heart needed some platonic fluff so I wrote it myself. 

Warnings: fluff, interrogation, mentions of murder

Having Spencer Reid show up at your office was not an unusual occurrence. Having Spencer Reid show up at your office in the middle of the night with another FBI agent on his heels was.

“See I told you they’d be here,” Spencer almost tripped over a box of records by the door with the speed of which he burst in.

“I get it, I’m married to my job,” you rolled your eyes, not looking up from your computer, “what’s up?”

“(y/n), this is Agent Derek Morgan,” he gestured to the man behind him as he spoke. Spencer pulled up his usual chair in front of your desk and started rummaging in his bag.

“If you can find a seat you’re welcome to take it,” you smiled at Morgan, who was watching Spencer intently.

“We need your help,” Spencer pulled out a stack of photos.

“Spence, I have work to do,” you chided, though you pushed aside what you were working on to take the photos from him.

“I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important. Please?”

“You’re not really asking,” Agent Morgan finally cracked a smile at your comment, “I don’t see how I can help you though, these are neat crime scene photos but I’m not in the FBI.” As you observed the images Spencer stood up again, haphazardly pulling books off of your shelves and piling them on his now vacant seat.

“You missed it. Look again,” you scanned the images again, scrutinizing every detail. This time you noticed it, pulling each image closer to your face to really take in what you were seeing.

“Those are my labels. Why are my labels on human bodies?” Spencer pulled one last book off the shelf and started thumbing through it.

His voice was soft this time, as his eyes met yours, “we don’t know.”

You didn’t normally see Spencer when he was working a case like this, something about him seemed different.

“How can I help?”

“The rest of the team is on the way. Have you talked to anyone about your collections recently? Told them how you label and research?”

“The only one I’ve talked to about it is you, but it’s not exactly an industry secret. Anyone who has looked at the exhibits has seen my labels, people just don’t usually care about them.”

Spencer and Morgan exchanged a look, then Morgan stepped out to make a phone call while Spencer filled you in on the next course of action. The rest of the team would be using your office as a field station while they tried to figure out why the unsub would make exact copies of  your labels.

“Have you known Reid long?”  A blonde woman who Spencer introduced as JJ asked.

“Since preschool,” you recalled.

“(y/n) was the only other kid in class who could read,” Spencer commented from the adjoining collections room where he was poking around for signs of entry.

“Spencer was the only other kid in class who could remember dinosaur names, we made quite the pair until he graduated.”

“You only graduated two years after me.”

“Enough to get you ahead by two doctorates and a bachelors,” you shot back.

“What’s in the water over in Vegas?” Morgan commented, shooting Spencer a look when he started rattling off the exact contents of the water and how it definitely did not affect the development of your brains.

It was already the early hours of the morning, so it was decided that any investigating would wait until a more reasonable hour. The team mostly acquainted themselves with your space, finding places to work, sleep, or follow up on leads. Even Spencer was moving around, restlessly conversing with his colleagues. You kept to yourself at your desk, busying yourself with the bone you were looking at. The research was comfortable, though the background noise wasn’t.

“You should get some sleep,” Spencer said quietly to you after a few hours, leaning over your shoulder to observe the notes you were making. It felt oddly normal, considering the circumstances.

“I’m on to something here, I want to finish this first,” you turned to the next page in your notebook.

“I’m going to go nap in the other room then, wake me up if you need anything, ok?” you looked up at him with a soft smile and nodded. He went into the break room across the hall, laying down on the old couch. You watched after him for a minute then turned back to your work. A few minutes later, JJ sat down in front of your desk.

“Do you spend a lot of time together?”

“If he’s not working with you, he’s with me. I’m almost always here which is why he knows where all of the good sleeping spots are,” you smirked.

“What are you working on?”

“We don’t have any records on this bone, so I do the research and get as much information as I can about it. My official title is ‘Collections Curator’ but Spencer says I’m just as much a profiler as he is.”

“Have you ever thought about joining the Bureau?”

“Spence tried to convince me… once,” you chuckled lightly at the memory, “I like my job, it’s a lot lower stakes than what you do. I don’t need a gun, just some research material and my brain.”

“It does seem… still down here,” JJ observed.

“Our collections are stored down here so it’s all climate controlled. These rooms were free so I asked if I could trade my upstairs office for a collections research suite. Did you know that 80% of a museum’s collection isn’t displayed? The exhibits you see upstairs are only 20% of the entire collection,” you stopped talking when you noticed a change in her expression, “sorry, I’m rambling.”

JJ smiled kindly, “I can see why you’re friends with Reid.”

“I don’t know what I would have done without him growing up. It’s easier to be a kid genius when there’s another kid to be a genius with, makes you feel less alone. He’s always been more competitive though, tougher, too.”

“Why am I not surprised you’re also a genius?”

“I try not to flaunt it, unlike Spencer. If it wasn’t for his eidetic memory we’d have the same number of degrees,” you smirked.

“He’s different with you,” Morgan had stepped into the room and was poking through your stuffed shelves.

“Like I said, it’s easier to be a genius when you have someone else who gets it. Spencer and I don’t talk about what you do in the field, but I see what he looks like when he comes back from traveling. I do my best to make this a space where he can be a genius without all the crime and someone that he can just be himself with.”

“Having a support system is good. He needs one.”

“You said he’s different with me, but he’s also different with you. His behavior is consistent with when he was trying to plan a surprise for my birthday last year, except its a stressful secret not an exciting one.”

“I need to hear the birthday story later, when this is all over. You’re good at noticing details,” Morgan commented. You noticed the way both Morgan and JJ shifted nervously.

“I have to be, that’s how I do my research. One detail can open up a whole string of possibilities, but you all know that. At first I thought it just had to do with him being in the middle of a case, I’ve only seen him a handful of times when he’s working.”

“But?” Morgan’s question was leading, they knew you knew they were hiding something.

“This is the first time he’s ever come into my office wearing his gun.”

There was a pause during which you noticed both agents’ eyes soften.

“I’m no FBI agent, but if dead bodies were showing up with museum labels specific to one curator I would start by questioning the curator. None of you have acted like I’m guilty at all. Why?”

“Reid gave us your alibi and confirmed it all in one breath. The local police still want to bring you in, but they’re having trouble finding you. Reid knew where you were and wanted to get ahead of them, solve this before you were falsely accused.”

“They probably ended up at my apartment. I spend most of my time here, but I keep that lease for storage and other things. Not many people know I practically live here. Do either of you want coffee?” you took off the latex gloves you were wearing as you stood up. They shook their heads with a murmured ‘thanks’.

They started whispering behind you as you walked across the hall to the room where your best friend was spread out on the couch. You paused as you passed him, gently brushing a piece of hair from his face before continuing on to the kitchenette. Leaning against the counter, your gaze fell once again on Spencer as you waited for the coffee to brew. He slowly stirred, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before standing up and joining you by the counter.

“You’re still working?”

“Have to make progress on my own projects while we’re waiting, before your case consumes my workday,” you bumped your elbow into him.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Hey, someone is using my specimen labels for murder victims. That’s not ok, my labels should be for museum collections only. I appreciate you telling me. I don’t appreciate whatever secret you and your team are keeping from me.”

“It’s characteristic for unsubs like this to have a fantasy… an unhealthy idolization that’s expressed in the victimology,” he stuck his hands in his pockets nervously. You thought for a minute as you poured a cup of coffee for yourself and your best friend.

“You think the unsub fantasizes about me.”

“We don’t know for certain. Two of the victims seem random, but three of them have an uncanny resemblance… and the labels…”

“Is that why you came to my office instead of just calling me for more information?” you leaned into his side, gripping your coffee.

“I can’t let anything happen to you,” he pressed a kiss into your hair and wrapped his arms around you.

“It’s not your fault this is happening. You live your life and I live mine,” you took a sip of your drink.

“You only leave this basement to buy groceries and do laundry. Statistically you’re only seen by a small fraction of people in this city and somehow you’ve been targeted by someone who’s now going around killing people.”

“Statistically, the unsub could have seen anyone who lives in this city, including me. It’s not your fault,” you repeated, “you could have told me though, genius.”

Spencer cracked a tired smile, “didn’t want to scare you more than necessary.”

“You’re a better person than me.”

“You’re smarter than me,” he retorted.

“That’s why you’re a better person. That’s how you can do the job that you do. If I had to interact with strangers every day I’d implode.”

“Spontaneous implosion isn’t possible,” you rolled your eyes at his comment. Before you could respond he spoke again, “I love you.”

His words caught you off guard, not because you didn’t return the feeling but because they never needed to be said. You knew from the way his eyes lit up when he read your notes and how he always made you another coffee when he got one for himself. You had spent practically your whole lives together and you genuinely cared about him in a way you knew was reciprocated. You considered this boy family more than most of your blood relatives. Still, with everything going on it had to be said.

“I love you too, Spencer.”

You stood with his arms around you until the coffee in your hands went cold.

“I need to make sure your friend Derek isn’t messing up my office. Sorry I woke you up,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek before stepping away. When you made it to the hallway you started walking down towards the largest collection room instead of your office.

“Agent Hotchner? Do you have a minute?” You knocked on the doorframe of the large room that the agent had set up in.

“Of course, is everything ok?”

“I wanted to talk to you about Spencer. I know he’s supposed to be protecting me, but he’s also my best friend. He would put himself in danger- he’s expecting to put himself in danger for me. With all due respect, sir, I know you’re trying to do a job but please promise me that you’ll keep Spencer safe too.”

“You don’t have to call me sir,” he said as you sat down in front of him.

“I don’t usually get myself into situations this stressful. My brain is rationalizing by flagging you as an authority figure. I know you’re not my boss but it’s easing my anxiety to think of you as one.”

Hotch looked at you calmly, a small smile on his lips, “I should have known Reid’s best friend would also be a genius.”

“My IQ is two points higher than his…sir,” it felt odd, joking with this man during such a stressful time.

“Reid is family to us too. We won’t let anything happen to him.”

“Spencer said that the unsub had a fantasy about me, and that’s why he was using my labels,” since your conversation with Spencer, your brain had been reeling for information.

“He asked that we didn’t tell you,” you sighed at his words.

“Of course he did. Now that I know, what information do you need? How can I be more helpful?”

“Reid asked you some questions when he got here,” you nodded, “if you’re up for it, I’d like to get the team together and ask you for more details.”

“Anything that helps,” your answer was definite, so Hotch rounded up the team with the exception of Spencer.

“Shouldn’t Reid be here?” Emily asked when you were all crammed into your office.

“I don’t want him… interfering. I don’t like biased research,” you told her.

“Then I guess we’ll get started. How exactly do you create the labels for your specimens?” Derek started the questioning.

“They’re printed on a specific cardstock that I get on special order. They’re all made down here, by me. I’m also the only one who handles the specimens, I don’t even let Spencer touch them.”

“Are there any other employees that work down here? Custodians, other curators?”

“What are you doing?” Your answer was interrupted by Spencer standing in the doorway holding two cups of coffee, in your respective favorite mugs.

“We’re doing research,” you spoke before any of your friend’s colleagues could.

“This looks like an interrogation,” Spencer came to stand behind you protectively, setting both cups down in front of you.

“I asked for this meeting, Spence. I want to help.”

“You should have told me,” he leaned closer to your ear, talking quietly so the rest of the team couldn’t hear. You didn’t usually see your friend this upset.

“Nobody comes down here regularly except for Spencer and I. It’s not open to the public, so anyone else needs a personal invite. Usually that’s when we’re changing exhibits, but everyone who helped me most recently has done it before. If it was one of them they would have killed before the first victim, right?” Derek nodded.

“Nobody else has been here in the last two months?” he repeated. You laughed half heartedly,

“I don’t have much of a social life. The only people I talk to are Spencer, the cashier at the grocery store, and Tim if I see him,” you added the last one as an afterthought.

“Tim?” Spencer stopped fuming by your side when your words piqued his interest.

“He teaches a museum history class at the community college in the city. They come by once a semester and tour the museum. You met him, remember?” Spencer averted his eyes from his team.

“I wouldn’t count that as a meeting,” you fought back a smile, recounting the way Spencer ran past the group of college kids as he tried not to let his severe hangover make him late for work.

“Tell me more about Tim, are you close?” Rossi refocused the meeting.

“No, just friendly. We email to schedule the tour, but it’s always professional. I see him at the grocery store most weeks, but it’s usually just an exchange of pleasantries.”

“How do you run into someone at the grocery store most weeks in a city like this?” Emily asked.

“I always go grocery shopping on Friday afternoons, from three to four. Spencer tells me I shouldn’t be so predictable but I work so much I have to schedule it in otherwise I forget. Tim must have the same schedule.”

“Have you seen Tim recently?”

“Now that I think about it, no. The last time I saw him was two weeks after the tour. He asked if I had dinner plans. That was the night we had tacos,” you bumped elbows with Spencer.

“What did you tell him?”

“I said I was making dinner for Spencer. You were all coming back from a trip, Spencer always comes over for dinner when you come home. I know I’m predictable but he’s never missed a dinner.”

“What was his reaction like when he heard you were making dinner for Reid?”

“He looked a little upset. I remember noticing it and thinking it was weird, but at the time I rationalized it. I’m not great at interacting with people. You don’t think Tim did this, do you? He’s really nice, always good with the kids. He asks a lot of questions because the kids don’t- oh God,” your eyes widened when you realized what you were saying. The office exploded in activity, with every agent moving to take action. Even Spencer moved, grabbing your arm and pulling you back across the hall into the break room. You noticed the way his hand was nervously on his gun.

“What happens next?”

“We don’t know for sure that it’s him yet. Garcia will cross check him against the profile. If it’s him, we’ll find him and lock him up. If it’s not… then we’re back to square one.”

“You seem more on edge than for it to be that simple,” you observed.

“Up until the most recent tour, Tim was able to admire you from afar. He saw you every week at the grocery store, and twice a year got to come down here to your personal paradise and see what you were doing. That was good enough for him until he saw me leaving here. That was the stressor. He suspected that we were… uh…”

“Dating?”

“Yeah. He tried to confirm it by asking about dinner two weeks later. It was coincidence that I was coming over that night. That was all he needed to kill out of rage.”

“You aren’t still blaming yourself for this, are you? Tim never asked if we were together. He never asked if I was with anyone at all. If he had this could have gone a lot differently. It’s his fault for assuming, not ours.”

Spencer put a hand on your back gently, “I’m the one who’s supposed to be reassuring you.”

As you rolled your eyes and told him it didn’t matter, Morgan stepped into the room.

“We’re heading out to catch this guy. Prentiss and JJ are staying, Garcia is watching the security cameras at all the entrances. Are you staying or going?” Morgan’s question was directed at Spencer. He thought for a minute, you knew he was considering the possibilities. If he stayed he could protect you personally, and he would also be protecting himself. If he went, he could personally take down the person who wanted to harm you and could be a good lure, but there was also a chance he would be targeted.

“I’ll stay. Keep me posted,” Morgan nodded, casting you a glance before running out.

“Now we wait,” Spencer rocked back on his heels, “will you show me that bone you were working on?” You were surprised he wanted to go back to business as usual, but maybe that was just it. You both needed a distraction from all of the chaos happening above ground without you. You went back to your office where Emily and JJ were. Their conversation paused when you stepped in.

“(y/n) and I are going to work on identifying this bone, there’s coffee across the hall if you want it,” Spencer said to the women.

“Thanks for staying,” you added, earning kind sympathetic looks from them as they stepped out.

“So, a long bone?” Spencer took one look at the fragment on your desk.

“Wow, he’s a genius,” you teased, sitting down, “here’s what I’ve got so far-”

You and Spencer spent hours researching. JJ and Emily popped in occasionally, but you were too engrossed in your work to see the amused glances exchanged between them as you bantered with your best friend. Spencer was trying really hard to keep things normal for you and this side of his genius, the way you fed off of each other’s stream of consciousness, was not something his coworkers usually got to witness.  

Two hours into your work Spencer’s phone rang, causing you both to startle.

“Hotch,” he was quiet as he listened to the agent on the other end of the line, “yeah, uh, yeah we’ll be right there,” he hung up and turned to you.

“They got him, but there was no real proof. They’re interrogating him now, they want us there to help.”

“Us?” you followed him out of the office as he went to find Emily and JJ.

“He’s not talking, Hotch thinks he might break for me…”

“Or me…” you finished the thought for him. The car ride was tense, and even with Spencer by your side you felt very out of place. Spencer made sure you were next to him even through the whirlwind that happened when you got to the interrogation room. Through the glass you saw Morgan talking to Tim, though Tim wasn’t doing much talking.

“(y/n), would you feel comfortable going in and talking to him? Morgan will be there too, he’ll keep you safe,” Rossi asked.

Before Spencer could protest you nodded and squared your shoulders.

“Of course. What do I need to do?”

“Morgan will do most of the questioning. You just need to get him talking.”

You took a breath and stepped into the room, watching the relief on Tim’s face when you did.

“(y/n), I’m so glad you’re here. This is all just a misunderstanding. I’m not the guy they’re looking for.”

“It’s not up to me to decide that, Tim.”

“You’re here to tell them it wasn’t me, right?”

“They’ve already told us everything we need to know. You’re still talking to me,” Morgan said, pulling Tim’s attention away from you.

“Then why are they here? I see the way you all carry those guns around, it’s too dangerous,” Tim said.

“Too dangerous for who?” Morgan pressed.

“For (y/n).”

“So you care about them, are you close?” you watched Tim’s reaction.

“Very, you can ask me anything about them, I know it all,” he was confident in his answer. Morgan glanced at you and you gave him a small nod.

“What does (y/n) do for work?”

“They’re the Collections Curator at the museum. They spend all of their time there, except on Fridays when they go grocery shopping,” Tim was enthusiastic in his answer, and looked to you for validation. You nodded gently, encouraging him.

“How do you know that?” Morgan leaned forward a bit.

“My class has been touring the collections suite for years. That’s how we met, then I ran into them at the grocery store and we got to talking,” Morgan nodded, pausing for a moment.

“I guess you are close. Since you know so much, this will probably be an easy one. What is (y/n)’s boyfriend’s name?” you tensed, waiting for the answer.

“Spencer. He’s tall, I’ve only seen him once,” he grumbled.

“(y/n), you can tell him,” Morgan said, keeping his eyes on the handcuffed man in front of you.

“Tim, I don’t have a boyfriend,” your words were soft. Tim’s eyes narrowed.

“You do! I saw him, that’s why we can’t be together!” he started to sweat under the harsh light.

“He’s just my friend, Tim. You never asked,” you were trying your hardest to stay composed.

“I did ask! You said you were having dinner together! He was good enough for you to have dinner with, I KILLED FOR YOU. DIDN’T YOU SEE, I LABELED THEM JUST LIKE YOU DO. I DID THAT FOR YOU. HE WOULD NEVER,” Tim’s outburst caused him to stand up and lunge across the table at you. Derek simultaneously pushed you back and pushed him down, you weren’t really sure how. Tim was still thrashing around and yelling all sorts of things you were sure were going to incarcerate him, but above the noise Morgan was able to speak.

“That’s all we need. Thank you, (y/n).”

When you stepped out of the interrogation room you moved immediately into Spencer’s arms, like gravity was pulling you into the one person you felt safest with.

“You’re ok. It’s ok. We’re ok,” he kept repeating.

“Spencer,” you mumbled into the material of his sweater. His words stopped so he could listen, “he seemed so normal.”

“I know, I know.”

“Do they always seem normal?” Spencer sighed, you felt his chest move with the breath.

“No, not always.” You felt his muscles tense as he held you tighter. He went back to repeating his mantra of reassurance as you caught sight of two police officers escorting Tim out of the interrogation room.

“Reid, Hotch wants to see you,” Emily approached the two of you once the room had cleared.

“Go, I’m alright,” you told him, stepping out of his embrace. He kissed the top of your head before leaving you alone with Emily.

“You did a great job in there,” she said as you walked back to the bullpen.

“It didn’t feel like it,” you told her honestly, “I’ve known Tim for years, he was always so nice to me. He never seemed…capable… but the way he yelled…”

“I know. It’s over now, though. Is there anything we can get for you? Coffee?” you sat down at Spencer’s desk, feeling exhaustion wash over you.

“No, thanks. I think I’m just going to go back to the museum. I have some work there that needs some attention. Do you think Spencer could drive me? I’m not awake enough to take public transportation.”

“I’m driving, but we’re not going to the museum,” Spencer loped over from Hotch’s office, grabbing his jacket and bag from the back of his chair.

“What? Why not?”

“You’re coming back to my apartment. Hotch’s orders, you’re not allowed to argue.”

As much as you wanted to, you decided not to put up a fight and instead got into the Bureau vehicle with your best friend. It was quiet as he drove, you wanted to say something but you didn’t know what the right words would be to describe how thankful you were to have him in your life. The silence continued until you were inside, when Spencer offered you something to eat.

“Are you sure?” he asked from the kitchen when you declined. You were by his bookshelves, running your finger down the spines of the many books he owned. Even though most of the time you spent with Spencer was in the museum, you had been to his apartment before on multiple occasions. You had never been there long enough to read his large collection of books, though you wished you had the time because you always trusted Spencer’s book recommendations.

“I’m sure. Thanks, though,” you paused to pull a Chaucer book off the shelf, “why did Hotch want me to come home with you?”

“He wanted you somewhere safe and comfortable, where you can process what happened without being completely alone. I know you wanted to go back to the museum but I also know what you’re like when you’re working and going back to work isn’t going to help you process what just happened. I thought coming here would give you a chance to eat and sleep,” he took the book out of your hands and put it back in its place.

“Is it that obvious?” you were having a hard time keeping your eyelids open. Spencer laughed lightly.

“It is, you should get some rest. I’ll be right out here, I have to finish this report,” he gestured to the folder he had brought home. You nodded, padding over to the bedroom. As soon as you crossed the threshold you could feel your distance from Spencer, who was leaning against the counter scratching away at the file with a pen.

“Spencer?” he turned to you quickly, his eyebrows mashing together in concern.

“Is that report kitchen specific, or could you do it in here?” his face softened. He left the file abandoned where it was on the counter as he rushed over to you. He helped you into bed, before sitting at the opposite end and settling by your feet.

“I’m not going anywhere, you’re safe now,” he put a hand on your leg. The pressure was reassuring, to say the least, and you found yourself easily slipping into sleep underneath Spencer’s quilt.

When you woke, Spencer was still at the end of the bed with a book in his hands. His feet, clad in mismatched socks, were crossed by your shoulder. You gently prodded at his foot, causing him to twitch and look up from what he was reading.

“You’re awake,” he smiled, putting the book down beside him. You sat up and stretched out your arms.

“You’re still here,” you smirked.

“It’s my apartment,” his quip was light and gentle.

“You’re right, I should get back to the museum,” you started to get up, but Spencer put a hand on your foot.

“Stay here for a while. You work too much, some time off would be good for you.”

“You work just as much as I do, genius. I’m not going to loiter in your apartment while you’re off fighting crime.”

“Hotch is letting me stay home for a few days. If an urgent case comes up I’ll help remotely, but I’m not leaving you.”

“Spence, you don’t have to-“

“I want to, (y/n). You’re my best friend who just went through a traumatic experience. Your family is 2,431 miles away, but even if they were closer you wouldn’t spend time with them. You said it yourself, I’m the only one you talk to regularly. I’m not going to abandon you now.”

“Haven’t we talked about you profiling me?” Spencer blushed.

“That wasn’t a profile, just information.”

“Sure,” you yawned.

“Go back to sleep, you still have some catching up to do.”

“You’re keeping track?” you asked, though you laid back down to get more comfortable.

“It’s simple subtraction, (y/n). I don’t need a PhD in mathematics to know you have slept far less than is healthy for the last three days,” he picked up the book again, finding the place where he left off.

“What are you reading?” his eyes flickered up to meet yours again.

“Dickens, Great Expectations.”

“You’ve read that one before,” you commented, surprised he didn’t have more to say on the subject.

“I have. I thought you might like it, I was just passing the time while you were sleeping. I can read it to you, if you want. It always made me feel better when my mom read to me.”

“I’d really like that,” you settled deeper into the pillow, listening to your friend’s voice as you drifted off to sleep. For the first time since Spencer had burst into your office, you finally felt content.

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[chairismaticchair]

Star Crossed Enemies

Happy Holidays @yellowartistsunshine ! @sanderssidesgiftxchange

Summary:  When two rival theatre majors get cast as the leads in "Romeo and Juliet", something blossoms between them. Something beautiful.

This is Roceit, there are some swears. I had lots of fun writing this, especially since this was my first roceit fic!

If Roman despised a single person in the world with all his body and soul, that would be Janus Taylor. He hated how snagging lead roles in plays and musicals always became a fight between them. He hated how smug Janus constantly acted. He hated his stupidly posh accent that was only really obvious when he was on stage performing Shakespeare. He hated how he couldn't have any straight (not that it was possible with Roman any other way) or slightly logical conversation with Janus. He hated him, from the tip of his dumb black beanie, to the soles of his beige loafers. Overall, he hated Janus.

Whenever they passed in the college, there would be a flurry of middle fingers and middle-school-grade insults like "shit head" and "dumbass" thrown about with as much malice as two theatre majors could. They seemed to lose all common sense when in the mere vicinity of each other, instead becoming caricatures of theatre rivals. Arguably, that was exactly what they were.

"Taylor." Roman spat out. "I heard the LGBTQ+ Club's  putting up another play soon. Suppose you're going to want the lead role. But it's mine." He declared, as if no one had expected Roman Diaz Santos to want the lead role. 

Decei - shit sorry, Janus hissed back. "I heard it's gonna be Shakespeare, and guess who always gets Shakespeare roles? Me. Shithead." He added the “shithead” as an afterthought, as if this was his first rivalry and he had almost forgotten rule #315 of the Rivalry Book of Rivals.

They then tossed each other middle fingers like mutual salutes and marched off, heads held up high and refusing to turn back.

"Man, Janus really is a dick isn't he?" Roman complained to his best friend Virgil Teo, who sighed.

"Yes, Roman. Just like the -" He pulled out a notebook and made a little mark. "534 other times you've told me. This year. I don't even know what's that bad about him." 

"Well of course you don't get it. You two dated freshman year. Honestly, I thought you had better taste."

"And I do. That's why we broke up." Virgil slapped Roman's shoulder playfully. "Who are you to insult my dating life? You haven't had a single date since the start of college."

"I've had dates." Roman protested.

"Bad dates, Princey. Those don't count. Maybe you could send it to the Guinness World Records."

Roman gasped in mock annoyance. "How dare you, Virgil.” He gave a wistful sigh. “Anyways, I just want to find my soulmate. They’re out there, I can just feel it. A Juliet or Julien to my Romeo.”

"You're always are full of bullshit, aren't you, Roman?"

---

Patton, a senior, walked up to the front of the leture theatre and tapped the teacher on the shoulder. He whispered something in her ear and the teacher sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose frustratedly. "Hi! The LGBTQ+ Club is putting up two Shakespeare plays for this November! The first one will be a gay Romeo and Juliet, called Romeo and Julien. The other will be a sapphic 'Much Ado about Nothing'. Audition sign ups start next week Monday and end on Friday! Thank you!" Patton was very chirpy for 8 a.m. .

Now, this was when shit hit the fan and our story gets exciting. Roman turned to Virgil enthusiastically. "I'm totally auditioning for Romeo." Meanwhile, all students in the near vicinity who wanted Romeo's role sighed in unison.

Across the lecture theatre, Janus turned to his friend Remus excitedly. "I'm auditioning for Julien! This is gonna be great."

"For fucks sake." Someone in the near vicinity groaned and his friend patted his back sympathetically. 

---

Roman sat outside the auditorium, swinging his feet while waiting for his turn to audition. Walking down the corridor, Janus turned to Roman and picked up the chair beside him. He moved 6 feet away and plopped the chair down.

"So, Santos." He started, staring intensely at the auditorium door.

Roman found his shoes absolutely riveting. "Yeah?"

"What role are you auditioning for?" 

Tapping the side of his chair, Roman said, "The lead one, obviously."

"Oh." Janus paused and turned to look directly at Roman. Sticking out his hand, he gave him a slight smile. "Well may the best one win."

Roman took the hand hesitantly. "Yeah Janus. Break a leg."

---

The large board outside the auditorium was a crowd favourite among students. It was constantly updated with rehearsal times, casting choices and upcoming performances, you know, the classic cool stuff.

Roman and Janus were the first to arrive at the board and glanced at each other before looking down the corridor with longing. 

A boy with big circular wire framed glasses bounded down the corridor, an A4 paper in his hand. He waved excitedly at the two in front of him. "Hi Roman! Hi Janus! Waiting for results?"

The two nodded in synchronisation. 

"Oh, well I got them here!" He got out a stapler and stapled the paper to the board, the sleeves of his turquoise hoodie large and dangly. 

Romeo: Roman Diaz Santos

Julien: Janus Taylor

The two boys turned to each other in horror.

"Y - you mean -"

"You thought-"

"Julien."

"Romeo."

"WAS THE LEAD ROLE?"

The boy, Patton, looked at them in amusement. "Well, you both got main roles, so congrats! Rehearsals start in two weeks and I'll give you guys your scripts tomorrow. Have fun!" 

He patted them both on the back before heading off, skip in his step.

Janus and Roman turned to look at each other in horror once more. 

---

There is a moment in one's life, where they will reflect on everything they have done, and wonder what mistakes they had made to lead them down this path. As Roman flipped through the script Patton had handed him, that was exactly what he was doing. "You mean to say, I have to kiss this - this snake 5 times? Outrageous. Unacceptable."

They sat in a circle, everyone who participated in the play knee against knee. It was far too close for comfort and Roman was probably going to vomit onto the rest of the cast.

Virgil, who was in charge of lights and sound and sitting next to him, smirked. "Princey, this is literally a play about you two in love. 5 kisses are the minimum."

"And I am right here, you know." Janus looked slightly offended, leaning over and looking at Roman, who was a Virgil away. "And I'm not that bad at kissing. Ask Virgil. "

Virgil choked. 

Before Roman could retort, Patton interrupted them. "Okay guys! Don't forget to practice your lines. Rehearsals start in two weeks so I hope you manage to memorise some of your lines."

As they left the auditorium, Roman whispered to Virgil. "Is Janus actually good at kissing?"

Virgil just shrugged.

Patton called after the leaving group. "Roman? Janus? Please get whatever feud is going on between you two and throw it away. You two need to cooperate so that we can all work together. Go bond over the next few days. Thanks!”

Bond? With Janus? Roman never wanted to hear those words in the same sentence ever again. There was an odd creeping feeling that grew in his stomach and crawled up his throat invasively. It was foreign and weird. Maybe an allergic reaction.

“Oy! Janus! We probably have to - to get to know each other better.” Roman could feel heat spreading from his toes all the way to his cheeks. Why was he blushing? He should not be blushing. “So, do you wanna go grab some food tonight?”

Janus’ eyes widened and he physically stepped back. He pointed at Roman, before pointing back at himself. “You? Offering me? Dinner?” 

Roman shot a wink at Janus cheekily, before turning around to hide his blush. What was he doing? He never flirted with his rival. Was that even flirting? Tugging his hair down in a pitiful attempt to hide his burning red ears, he turned to Virgil. 

Virgil wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, before elbowing Roman in the side. “Stepping up your game, Santos? Impressive.” 

Roman blushed even harder, and looked away. 

---

Roman had had his fair share of dates, if that was what you called a dinner like this, and he never knew what to say. He pulled out his best card. 

“So...ya like jazz?” 

Janus choked on his iced lemon tea. "Fucking Bee Movie?” 

“Well, you do wear black and yellow 80% of the time, so you clearly like bees. Ergo, Bee Movie.”

An eyebrow was raised. “Impressive. You almost sound as smart as Logan.”

“I wish. He’s an absolute genius.” Logan was studying law, would probably become the valedictorian, and was dating Patton. Truly a legend.

“What’s your favourite animated movie then?” Janus asked. “Mine certainly is not the Bee Movie. There are loads of better Dreamworks films. I love Megamind."

“Oh, Megamind is really good! Choosing a favourite… that’s so hard though!” Roman bounced in his seat. Another movie lover? Perhaps, Janus wasn't too bad.  

Janus laughed and the food must have been tainted or something, because Roman’s heart skipped several beats. 

---

“Right! Let’s start at Act 1, Scene 5. You guys are at the party and this is when Romeo meets Julien for the first time. Action.” Patton, perched on the edge of a chair, announced, eyes shining with excitement. 

Roman glanced over at Janus, clad in a hoodie and jeans. He was flipping through his script and mumbling lines to himself. It was their first rehearsal so they were still allowed to look at their scripts. It also happened to be their first kiss scene. Pink tinted Roman's cheeks at the thought. Kiss… Janus? The two words seemed so foreign next to each other, yet they felt as though they were meant to be. He couldn't stop his eyes lingering over Janus' light pink lips. He turned away quickly, glancing at his script. Romeo kisses Julien.

Romeo.

Kisses.

Julien.

Shaking his head, he looked up at the people on stage, waiting for his cue. He had to stop thinking so much. Thoughts were dangerous. Who knows where they may lead?

Roman wondered what Janus' lips tasted like.

Oh for fucks sake. 

Okay, this was getting ridiculous. Roman shoved his face back into the script, mumbling his lines under his breath and waiting for his queue to come on stage.

Stepping onto the stage, he channeled Romeo Shakespearean thoughts. It was a little hard in his button up shirt and jeans, but he was a professional. “What lord is that which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?” He gestured towards Janus. 

A server bowed politely. “I know not, sir.”

“Oh, he doth teach the torches to burn bright! It seems he hangs upon the cheek of night. Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear, beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear. So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows. As yonder lord o'er his fellows shows. The measure done, I’ll watch his place of stand. And, touching his, make blessèd my rude hand.” He spoke to the audience, but couldn’t help think about how accurate this was. Janus too, was really hot. 

Roman spoke some more about how hot Julien was, and the rest of the rehearsal was a blur. He wasn’t Roman anymore. In front of this audience? He was Romeo, a rich lovestruck teenager. 

Then suddenly, he found himself staring into Janus’ eyes, and he was Roman all over again. 

Janus’ eyes, a deep, rich brown that gave Roman a steady look, pierced into Roman’s heart. He spoke towards the audience, but he sounded so genuine and sincere as he uttered his lines. “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

Roman gave Janus a soft smile, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Then move not, while my prayers’ effect I take.”

Closing his eyes, he leaned in and brushed Janus’ lips. It was hesitant, and soft, and he could hear Janus' quiet gasp, as if he wasn't expecting it. It was barely a kiss, more like a peck, but Roman could feel heat rushing into his cheeks. “Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.” He said, loud enough for the audience to hear him.

“Then have my lips the sin that they have took?” Janus cocked his head to the side, looking far more innocent and coy than Roman had ever seen him behave before.

“Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” This time, Janus stood on tiptoes and kissed him. A proper kiss that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter, and Roman wanted to stay like that forever and ever. The scent of Janus' cologne made him giddy and he took Janus' hands, pulling him closer. On one hand, they were playing parts in a play, and on the other hand, everything felt oh so real, from the hoodie toggles that tickled his button up shirt to Janus' soft fingers gripping his hands tightly.

When they finally pulled away, Roman gazed at Janus' shining brown eyes in what must have been a lovestruck expression. He found his Julien.

---

"You BITCH!" Virgil slapped the study table violently.

"What did I do?"

"1 year. 1 fucking year of you making fun of me falling for a white guy and here you are, falling for the exact same white guy." Virgil looked vaguely irritated. "Even my mom was like," He put his hand at his ear like a phone and did an exaggerated Chinese accent. "Aiyah ah boy, I know you like boys, but an angmoh gao is too too much already. But don't worry lah, 4 months is not long, you still can leave him.” Do you even know what that means, you ass?”

He suddenly burst out in laughter. "This is great, it's my turn to poke fun." He rubbed his hands together excitedly. "What was the kiss like? Was it...spicy?"

"Weren't you there?"

"Yeah, but I want a personal recount. Actually, no. Give me the P.E.E.L. format. Point, evidence, example and link on Janus' kissing skills. Go." 

"Oh, er. Janus was a… good kisser?" Roman didn't kiss much. "Um, point. His hair is all fluffy and I feel it brushing against my forehead, which gives me butterflies and this warm tingly sensation that ran through my body and gave me goosebumps. And he makes this noise whenever we kiss that is so cute, he honestly sounds genuinely surprised whenever it happens, even though we're following a script. And his cologne smells so good, oh my god I need to get the brand name, it's like kinda ashy, but not quite and it was a bit light, like a nice stroll in a forest. Holy shit it smelled nice. And-"

Virgil raised an eyebrow and paused Roman's tangent. "He wore cologne? He never wears cologne."

"Oh." Roman's eyes widened. 

"Maybe…" Virgil wiggled his eyebrows. "He wore it for the kiss scene." 

The heat that decided to congregate on Roman's cheeks was undeniable. "Why - why would he do that?" 

"He likes you, ya dumbass. And he wanted to impress you, so he decided that hoodie plus beanie plus cologne was a good combo."

Roman stared at his feet. "It was."

Virgil stood up and patted Roman on the head comfortingly. "There, there, it's alright. White guys aren't all that bad."

"Oh fuck off."

Virgil bowed and shot Roman the finger. Truly a man of eloquence and class. Roman opened a picture on his phone from his date with Janus. Janus was smiling, and Roman could feel himself smiling too as he looked at the picture of Janus. Of his Julien.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 1: Chapter 13

Aurora’s Birthday & New York 2014

Word count: 2.8k

SkyFire 1 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Aurora was confused when she and her dads walked up towards the front of the Golden Stag on Saturday evening for her birthday dinner. The chalkboard was set out on the footpath announcing, WE ARE CLOSED: PRIVATE PARTY. “I thought it was just us, Helen and Greg for dinner?” Rori asked after reading the sign.

“They probably closed so that they can enjoy their dinner without worrying about customers,” Tony replied smoothly.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she said, reaching out to push open the front door. Aurora froze on the threshold as a chorus of surprises tore through the small crowd amassed inside the small pub. She felt her eyes grow warm as Tony stepped up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Happy Birthday Kid,” he whispered, kissing her cheek and gently pushing her forward into the room.

Ella was the first person to rush forward and throw her arms around her best friend. “Happy Birthday Rors,” she cheered. “Were you surprised?”

“Absolutely,” Rori replied. “I had absolutely no idea.” She smiled warmly as she looked around the room, taking in everyone who had come to celebrate her 19th birthday. Helen and Greg were there of course, as was Ella’s mum Rebecca, the Stag regulars Tom, David, Mick and Jim were also there, but it was the unexpected addition of the 5 other men amongst the small group that surprised Rori. Harry’s smile split across his face as their eyes locked, Liam, Niall, Louis and Zayn standing next to him. Helen ordered everyone to pull up a seat as she began dishing up hearty servings of the best looking Sunday roast Rori had ever seen, but before she could take the seat left for her at the head of the table, Harry was by her side.

“Happy Birthday love,” he said, his voice low and husky.

“Thank you,” Rori replied with a soft smile, very aware of both of her fathers watching their interaction. “I never expected you to be here, or the other guys.”

“It was your dad’s idea,” Harry replied, reaching out to take one of her hands in his, playing with her fingers absently as they spoke.

“Which one?” Rori asked.

“Steve. Not sure how he got my number, but he called yesterday to invite me, and I suggested bringing the rest of the band too.”

“Dad probably had JARVIS pull your number off my phone,” Rori said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Harry replied, kissing her cheek before leading her over to the table filled with her family and friends. He pulled out her seat for her and then made his way down to the other end of table to sit with the guys. Throughout dinner Rori found her eyes returning to Harry and his face would light up with a smile every time their eyes met, causing Rori to blush. Tony watched the looks and smiled softly to himself, nudging Steve with his elbow to draw his husband’s attention to the young couples flirting. Steve chuckled softly, happier than he could explain to see their daughter falling in love. After dinner, before the cake was served Rori watched as Harry quietly excused himself and headed towards the toilets. A few minutes later she not so subtly also excused herself from the table. She found him walking back towards the table, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the stairwell leading to her old apartment, out of the sight of the table. She stepped up onto the lowest step, bringing her face level with Harry’s and lent forward to kiss him.

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he whispered against her lips when they pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other as their breath mixed together between them.

“Me to,” Rori replied, her fingers tangling themselves in his curls. She pulled him back into another kiss, deeper than the last, her breathing turning shallow as his hands rested on her hips, pulling her flush against his torso. They sprung apart a few minutes later when someone coughed loudly behind Harry. They both blushed profusely as Ella grinned back at them.

“If you two would like to stop eating each other’s faces,” the blonde chuckled, “the rest of us are ready for cake.”

“Be there in a minute,” Rori told her best friend, watching as she turned on her heels and headed back to the table. Rori dropped her head against Harry’s shoulder as she heard her best friend loudly address the group.

“They were sucking face but still fully clothed so we’re all good.”

“OMG,” Rori moaned. “She’s gonna be the death of me.”

Harry chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “How likely are your dads to kill me?”

“They’ll probably thank you,” Rori laughed. “They’re honestly the weirdest. They’re always trying to convince me to go to parties and be young or whatever. I mean they were troublemakers their whole lives and then they had this shy 16 year old land on their doorstep and they’re baffled by me.”

Harry chuckled again, lacing their fingers together and tugging her reluctantly back into the main room. Louis and Liam wolf whistled as the pair re-emerged, causing the blush to return to both of their cheeks. “Yeah alright,” Harry said, “lay off.”

“Anyway,” Helen called out, “now that the birthday girl is ready to grace us with her presence again. Who wants cake?”

Harry sat down, pulling Rori onto his lap as the cake was sliced and handed out to everyone. She looked across the table to where her parents were sitting, catching a smirk on Tony’s face while Steve smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Leave her alone,” she heard him tell his husband. “You’re such a shit stirrer.”

xXx

The morning after her birthday dinner, Aurora met Harry for Sunday brunch at a trendy café in east London. While they knew they were risking being spotted together, neither could say they really cared, and they decided that while they wouldn’t publicly announce their relationship, they also wouldn’t actively try to hide from the world either. Luckily no one seemed to pay them much attention as they ate, chatting happily and nocking their feet against each other under the table. Aurora had often felt herself marvelling at the normalcy of talking to Harry. In the 6 weeks she had known him he had never once acted like the majority of famous people she’d encountered since moving to New York. He didn’t flaunt his wealth; he didn’t name drop other famous people he knew; he was just like any other 20 year old guy Rori might meet at university. They talked about sports, movies, books and other normal things that normal couples talked about, but most of all they talked music. Aurora found that they had similar taste in genres, although Harry didn’t understand her fascination with American country music, no matter how much she tried to explain the appeal of the storytelling and simple chords in her favourite songs. Louise had introduced her to a steady diet of 70s and 80s pop and rock, and she and Ella had obsessed over 90s and 2000s pop, but it wasn’t until she’d moved to the US a few years earlier that she’d really encountered country music. Now her music taste was so varied her go to playlists would jump from the Beatles to ACDC, Lady Gaga to Rascal Flats, Backstreet Boys to Linkin Park or Mayday Parade. As she’d told Harry, she firmly believed that enjoying every genre of music made her a better song writer.

xXx

The Stark-Rogers remained in London for another week and while Aurora made sure to spend plenty of time with Ella and her mum, she also spent as much time as possible with Harry. She hung out with Louis quite a lot as well, finding that other than Harry, he was the band member that she got along with the easiest and they were fast becoming great friends. The day before she was scheduled to fly home to New York, she was lying on the sofa in Harry’s house, a movie playing on the flat screen that neither were paying attention to. Her head was cushioned on his lap, a blanket pulled up to her chest despite the crackling fire nearby.

“I don’t want to go home tomorrow,” she said, looking up at Harry. “These last 2 weeks have been so incredible.”

“I don’t want you to go either,” he replied. “But I’ve got 3 more months before tour prep starts, so I’ll fly out to see you a couple times and then you can come spend summer with me. It’ll be great.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I’m so glad you get along with the guys,” Harry continued. “It’ll make it so much easier for you to join us on tour.”

“I’m glad they like me,” Rori agreed.

“Like you? They love you,” Harry laughed. “You and Louis together are gonna be a pain in the ass. I can already tell.”

“I always wanted a sibling to get up to mischief with,” Rori confessed. “He kind of feels like the big brother who’d buy booze for you and your friends when you’re underage.”

“Louis can’t help throwing out the strong Big Brother vibes,” Harry agreed. “It’s like he spent so many years being the eldest sibling that he skips the friend’s stage and goes straight to sibling mode. He did it with all of us when the band was put together, and it looks like he’s tucked you under his wing too.”

“I’m happy to be there,” Rori said. “I like being a little sister.”

xXx

In mid-February, Aurora was sitting in her favourite on campus café at Columbia, with her laptop, notebook and art theory textbooks spread out across a small table in the corner. She’d been set up there for most of the day, attempting to get her head around her latest research paper, a steady stream of coffee refills, muffins and a sandwich getting her through the hours. A little after lunch she was joined at the table by her manager, Mark. She attempted to push some of her books to the side to make space for him to rest his coffee on the table, offering him an embarrassed apology.

“I know I’m a mess,” she said. “Thanks again for meeting me here, I was just in the zone and didn’t want to pack everything up to trek across town.”

“All good, hon,” he said. “A meeting is a meeting, regardless of where it is.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said a few weeks ago about a solo album,” she said, jumping straight to the reason they’d organised to get together. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I mean don’t get me wrong, the response to Over You was incredible but I just don’t think I’m ready to do an album or a tour or anything on my own yet. Please don’t be mad.”

Mark chuckled as she finally took a breath. “I’m not mad,” he promised. “As your manager, it’s my job to help you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. Do I think a solo career is a smart move for you? Yeah, I do but I’m not going to push you into it if you’re not ready. I kind of figured you weren’t ready yet anyway since we dropped Over You almost 3 months ago and nothing since. Do you know what you want to do instead?”

“I’ve been writing a lot,” Rori said. “So, I think I could probably start churning out demos a lot faster than I was last year. Might need you to find me a guitarist and drummer.”

“I can do that,” Mark replied, typing the note into his phone to follow up later in the day.

“And then I was thinking I’d really like to do some YouTube collabs, but I have no idea how to make that happen.”

“I can reach out to people for you,” Mark said. “Get me a list of people that you’re interested in working with and I’ll see what I can do.”

Aurora smiled in response. “Awesome.”

xXx

Aurora walked through central park late one night in March. It was dark and cold, but she wore a big jacket, but the party at the San Remo had been so loud that even though she’d known it was a bad idea, she’d chosen to walk home from a party. She should have called Happy to come pick her up given the late hour, but it was only a 20 minute walk, and she relished the quite of the park. She was halfway home when she felt someone walking close behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see a tall guy with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head walking close behind her and she quickened her pace, her heartbeat rising and her breathing rapid. She chided herself for being so stupid as to walk through Central Park alone, well after midnight and tried desperately to come up with a plan. She could call her fathers, the tower was only 10 minutes away, closer given the speed of the Iron Man suit, but they would be asleep, and god only knew what this guy would do in the time it took her dad to get to her. It would be useless to scream for help either, there was no one else in the park. She scrolled through the small menu on her StarkWatch, immediately hitting the panic button when it appeared on the screen. She kept walking, not knowing how long it would take for her Dad to wake up, activate the suit and get to her. She just had to hope he arrived before the guy got any ideas.

As if knowing his window of opportunity was closing, he quickened his pace and in an instant, he was right behind her. Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders, and she was pushed towards the ground but when she looked up from where she lay, her would be attacker was running in the opposite direction while a costumed figure stood above her.

“Are you ok?” the guy asked, offering his hand out to help Aurora off the ground. Before Aurora could even thank the man for saving her, she heard the unmistakable sound of repulsors charging up to fire.

“Get away from her,” Tony warned, his voice low and terrifying as he trained the suits weapons on the man in front of her. Aurora scrambled to her feet, throwing her hands out in a peaceful gesture.

“No, no, no, no,” she stammered, “He didn’t attack me. He saved me.” She could imagine the look of confusion she would see on her fathers face if it wasn’t shielded behind the Iron Man faceplate.

“I’m Spider-Man, by the way,” the costumed man offered. “Huge fan, Mr Iron Man, sir.”

“Jesus how old are you?” Rori asked, swinging around to look at her saviour.

“Aaaah,” was the only response she got in reply. “I gotta go, glad you’re safe.”

Before he even finished speaking, she watched in awe as he shot some kind of rope from his hand and used it to pull himself off the ground and swing away and out of sight.

“What the fuck?” Rori mumbled, turning back to her father to see the faceplate retract.

“Did he hurt you?” Tony asked, concern clear in the set of his brow.

“No, I’m ok,” she promised as he grabbed her around the waist and took off for the tower. They arrived on the balcony a minute later and Tony placed his daughter back on her feet as the suit begin to recede from his body.

“What happened?” he asked, following her into the kitchen and watching as she set about making a cup of tea to settle her nerves, shaking his head when she gestured to a second mug. She explained as the kettle boiled and then took a seat at the island bench, her mug clutched in her hands. “What were you thinking walking home on your own this late?”

“I know,” Rori mumbled. “I know it was stupid. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Tony said softly. “I’m just glad nothing happened. Although I can tell you right now, tomorrow I’m gonna find out who this Spider-Man is because if he’s gonna be out there doing the crime fighting thing he’s gonna need a real suit and back up or he’s gonna get himself killed.”

True to his word, Tony did find Spider-Man and after showing up unannounced at Peter Parkers front door 2 days later, he invited the teenager to the tower.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[quaranteend]

Mike Hanlon -- RP Application

Mun Info:

Name: Ash

Age: 19

Pronouns: she/her/hers

  ABOUT THE MUSE:

  Name: Michael ‘Mike’ Hanlon

Age: 21

Sex: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual with a male lean

Height: 5'9

Location: Derry

Faction: Derry

Occupation: Bookkeeper, historian

Brief History: 

Mike always had dreams to leave Derry after high school. The last few years it was like all of his friends were being picked off one by one. First Bev, then Eds, Richie wasn’t far behind, and even Stan; that one hurt more than Mike cared to admit. Mike had always thought: I’ll work at the library, earn a little money, and once I have enough, with the sold farm, I’ll get out of here. But it had been 4 years since he graduated high school, 4 years since he had spoken to any of the losers, 4 years since he was supposed to leave. Yet here, Mike was, placing the 3 recently returned Robert Frost collections in their correct ‘Dewey Decimal’ formation on the shelf. The same shelf that held the infamous “History of Derry” book that had brought the losers club together. He thought about them a lot; wondered if they thought about him. But Mike quickly shook that thought out of his mind. He had sort of hoped they didn’t. They had gotten out. They could live in the peace of oblivion, and truly that’s all Mike wanted for any of them. Mike didn’t think much about the losers for a while after that, not until that day of course. 

Mike was sleeping when it happened, and to be honest the heavy night full of drinking had created a slightly less alert version of the typically vigilant farmer. The screaming however, that shit could break anyone out of a trance, and soon enough Mike was on his feet, crobar in hand. Quickly, Mike realized it was in fact the radio that was screaming. 

Followed by a stark female voice: “What you just listened to came to us from San Francisco early this morning. Many have reported what seems to be undead individuals attacking those of us still alive.” 

A shaky male voice retorted this statement quickly, “You don’t actually think there’s a zombie apocalypse coming now do you Brianna?” 

“It’s not what I think, that’s what’s happening Mark. Don’t be so thick head--”

Mike turned off the radio and grabbed his keys. Finding himself in Keene’s empty pharmacy soon after, Mike grabs a magazine from the wire rack at the front of the store. 

ZOMBIES INFILTRATING WEST COAST -- 1698 FOUND DEAD, 783 INJURED

DISEASED INDIVIDUALS MURDERING IN CALIFORNIA 

OUTBREAK OF INFECTION  IN THE WEST - CAUSING HOMICIDE 

MASS MURDERS RELATED TO SUDDEN VIRUS IN SAN FRANCISCO

Mike reads the headlines in terror and physically shudders. Some of the magazines contain pictures and Mike frantically looks at them hoping that a red balloon doesn’t appear in any of the photos 18 years early. Thankfully it doesn’t, but something else does that Mike surely wasn’t expecting. Deep and buried within the cover photo of Lifetime Weekly is a lanky boy with thick rimmed glasses, a frail frame, and hair that had become even more shaggy since the last time Mike had seen it. Richie Tozier stares back at Mike Hanlon for the first time in 6 years and Mike realizes much to his dismay that he’s gonna have to make 6 phone calls sooner than expected; because if they could kill that fuckin clown, they could kill these fuckin zombies.

5 or more headcanons: 

Mike has a large notebook filled with intense and immersive research about the undead. It is complete with a scrapbook like pasting of photos from history books and religious texts. 

Mike has created a fort like den in the basement of the library where he hides out and obsessively listens to his radio for updates on the state of the world. 

Mike hasn’t left his self made den since the undead reached the east coast and he has inadvertently become a little stir crazy attempting to find each loser’s phone number and waiting for their anticipated arrival. 

Mike relies a lot on his extensive research of “how to defeat the undead” in order to combat the zombies he has yet to come in contact with. He knows they are outside, and they scare him, but not enough to not eventually meet the losers he anxiously hopes arrive in Derry soon. 

Mike feels guilty about calling the Losers to come back to Derry. He questions whether he should have asked them to come back to defeat a worldwide outbreak of millions of undead humans, based purely off the theory that they once defeated a killer clown attacking one small town when they were 12 years old. Did he do the right thing when he called? 

Roleplay Example:

“Hey Stan the Man, I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

No, what the fuck? Stan hated when they called him “Stan the Man”, a nickname Richie had created for the jewish boy because the trashmouth claimed, “Stanley sounded way too young for a guy who acted like he was 80 years old”. 

“Stanley Uris? This is Michael Hanlon. From Derry. How are you doing?” 

No! Never, have you ever introduced yourself or been called Michael by anyone other than Granddad, and even then, only when he was angry because you didn’t wake up early enough to feed the chickens. 

Mike took a deep breath. Stan was the last one on Mike’s list to call. Well, actually he was first on the list, but the last one Mike had to speak to. Stan was the first number Mike had searched for; he spent countless nights typing on his shitty old HP laptop in an effort to determine which order of seven numbers would reach “You have reached Stanley Uris, unfortunately I am unable to take your call right now. Leave your message and I will call you back at my earliest convenience”. Mike smiled to himself remembering listening to Stan’s high school cell phone’s voicemail so many times. He had always chuckled at how professional it had sounded even when they were 16; he wonders how professional it sounds now. 

“Fuck it”. 

Mike picked up his phone from his messy desk, littered with papers, pens, telephone books, and notepads filled with illegible scribbles, and dialled the number written next to the bolded “Stan” Mike had written in his neatest handwriting. Mike had paid careful attention when writing Stanley’s name because he remembered how intricate and perfect Stan’s own handwriting was, and how many times Mike had been embarrassed to write anything to Stanley in fear of him noticing his god awful chicken scratch. 

The phone rang exactly 3 times before a slightly muffled, “Hello? This is Stanley Uris. May I ask who’s calling?”

Mike stayed quiet for a brief moment before responding, “Stanley, this is Micha--Mike Hanlon. I’m sorry to call you, and I know that you probably don’t remember me, but we were friends as kids and I have a favor to ask of you”.

“I remember you Mike. Of course I do. I… what do you need?”

There was another short pause. 

“Well, I’m not sure if you’ve heard but, there’s been an outbreak of sorts, and I thought maybe--”

“We could stop it.”

Stanley finished Mike’s last sentence. 

“I do, and I’m not sure if it’s even anything related, but I just thought that if we could defeat a killer clown at 13 years old than who’s to say that--”

“Mike, Mike, Mike. When are where do you need me?”

“Derry. As soon as possible.”

[dxmedstudent]

Weird Asks that Say a Lot  Meme...

My friend the wonderful @meanwhileonwednesday suggested I fill out Every even number for the 'weird asks that say a lot', so here I am. Thanks, friend! XD

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolates.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

At my first school? Artistically talented and perceptive (one teacher was very vividly impressed by my grasp of duck anatomy at like 5 years old). Then there’s the teacher at my new school who thought I had special needs because I was withdrawn (I was being bullied by most of the class, really); she was a new teacher and not really equipped to deal with that. By the end of primary school, I went back to being commended on my work ethic and smarts and artistic ability.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Hmmm I think my work clothes are mostly a formal/preppy mix. With a little bit of boho thrown in, particularly when I’m at home.

8. movies or tv shows?

I prefer movies, because they represent a lot less commitment (America, please stop giving everything like 17 seasons, I beg of you!), however TV show episodes are shorter and easier to slot into your life than a full movie.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

I was generally awful in PE. I liked benchball, can’t say that I was good in it, being yet another game where being short doesn’t do you any favours.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Either my Kickass playlist, or my Reflective playlist.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Starburst.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up, on my side, in a nice big armchair with my legs hanging off the side. Surrounded by pillows, and probably a cat or two.

18. ideal weather?

Picture this: it’s a sunny day; warm but not too hot. Maybe around 24 degrees celsius. There’s a warm breeze; it’s not stifling, and it’s not cold enough to make you shiver. The trees rustle with the sound of the wind; change is in the air. You can go out in short sleeves, perhaps with the thinnest of cardigans if like me your metabolism basically died 300 years ago.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Depends on what I’m writing. I am the kind of ineffectual person who starts to write tings in a notebook, but also a couple of word docs. I have post- it notes for important things. I document ideas for my comic in a note/sketch book. I love doodling in my sketchbooks.

22. role model?

I never really had one, growing up. I guess the closest I’d get is David Attenborough.

24. favorite crystal?

My birthstone is ruby (which is red; my favourite colour!) however I also love opals; I love their irdescent (OK, opalescent, technically) sparkliness and the way they shimmer with lots of colours. I don’t see why everyone prefers massive diamonds when opals are like... so much cooler. I I don’t actually own any, but maybe one day I’ll be able to buy myself a nice one.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Go for a nice long walk, take lots of pictures, have a picnic in the park. No, I lie, my favourite activity is roping someone I care about into doing it all with me, and having even more fun. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Home - Ellie Goulding Fight Song - Rachel Platten Working Woman’s Blues - Valerie June Alive - Bird Set Free My Medea - Vienna Teng

30. places that you find sacred?

Already been answered.

32. top five favorite vines?

Alas, hard to name off the top of my head. I mainly know vines from various compilations.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Right now? Thankfully none of them.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

That’s impossible to say! Memes were a thing before internet memes became a thing. I’d say that ‘S’ shape we all drew in primary school? Nursery rhymes? Who knows.

38. lemonade or tea?

They don’t usually compete for my love, but i have tea more often than lemonade, purely due to availability reasons.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Some students climbed onto the roof.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Honestly? Skirt pockets. But being a woman, jacket pockets are usually woefully ineffectual and small. Trouser pockets are a bit better, but again usually small. Whereas if someone puts pockets on a skirt, they make sure they are actually proper pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

Maybe honey, or roses, or jasmine.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A baggy pair of PJs; I’m a dress for comfort kind of girl. Particularly since the places I’ve lived haven’t always been great in the heating department. I’ve been known to sleep in a hoodie when it gets cold.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would like to be a berry, or maybe an apple. Something pinkish red. Sweet, and a little sharp.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably my little brother astounding me with how grown-up he is about things. He’s pretty awesome. Or my mum just saying something wildly, hilariously inappropriate XD

52. favorite font?

I love the Komika font family for my comic. I used to use Bookman Old Style, Book Antiqa, Georgia or classic Arial for essays and things like that, when they didn’t specify Times New Roman.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Always call the med reg if you are stuck, be nice to the nurses and always help each other. OK, I did lots of volunteering in hospital before FY1. In which case my

56. favorite tradition?

My family/culture have a specific tradition on the morning of an exam/interview/life event where you fill a cup with water and a couple of plant leaves (Slavs love putting greenery into everything). You place it at the threshold,  and give it a good kick it with your dominant foot. It symbolises your knowledge flowing, and I guess it’s a good luck charm.. You also aren’t meant to look back (literally); because you should be focusing on the task at hand. As a kid it was a comforting good luck ritual, and I don’t think I ever really grew out of it.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m proud of my artistic skills, modest though they are. I enjoy creating, and I enjoy that I can make things to cheer up my friends, or things that people here can relate to.

By extension, I’m good with my hands, and that usually translates to picking up procedures and things like that pretty quickly at work. And yes, I love being able to get that cannula in (especially if it’s on the first go!)  when nobody else can. It’s a tiny, tiny thing, but it sparks a little joy. I can develop good rapports with people; which means I can help them to confide their problems, and can help them to feel better or to address things that are bothering them. It’s really mostly about listening and not being judgemental. I am proud that I can sometimes make people feel better, and feel listened to. I’m proud that I learned to try to work through my feelings. As a young person who was really quite stressed, I somehow learned how to apply what’s basically CBT to keep myself relatively sane, and I think it’s helped me a lot. It was only much later that I realised it was basically CBT when I was comparing notes with friends actually going through those kinds of therapies. I’m not perfect at it, and my mind tests me on a regular basis, but it helps.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t know what I’d like to be in? Maybe a Ghibli film. I think I’d like that.  When I was at school, a close friend of mine just turned around and said “OMG, you’re just like an anime character”, to fervent agreement from my peers. I guess they meant one of those chirpy, ditzy shojo anime characters. I can still see myself as some shojo series heroine; frantically trying to keep it together under the pressures of magical girldom, being romantically inept, trying to fight off the baddie of the week whilst learning lessons about getting along with each other, being helpful and not being mean.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Right now? Sophie from Howl’s moving castle, Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman, Miranda Otto from D. Gray-Man, Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility, The Red Blood Cell from Cells at Work, Kiki from Kiki’s delivery service, and Aggressive Retsuko.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I used to love looking at other people’s art on Elfwood or Deviantart.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Today I’m feeling the answer is lilacs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ugh anything bitter.

70. left or right handed?

I’m ridiculously right handed, but I’ve learned to use my left hand more effectively because of procedures etc. I’m really good with my hands, but my right hand takes over like 80% of the work.

72. worst subject?

PE in school, biochemistry at university.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

At home, maybe a 3, because I don’t see the point in suffering needlessly. However at work I’ll do whatever it takes to keep functional including taking pain relief before it gets bad because I don’t want to have to deal with pain and an on-call. I’m not sure if the scale is logarithmic? I’d rate the worst pain that I’ve had 5 ot a 6, and that made me vomit and curl up into a ball and basically unable to do anything. But I can imagine pain that’s much, much worse than that was, so perhaps I just can’t thin

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

This kind of new potato salad my mum makes with onions. Raw onions are totally a trigger food for my IBS, and any time my mum feeds me anything full of onions, she’ll tell me I can take them out if they upset my tummy. And every single time I’ll pile even more onions into my plate because there’s no way I’m letting my gut dictate my life. Turns out, I’m even more stubborn than my IBS; I just don’t want to give up some of the foods that set things off. My GP once recommended a FODMAP diet, and having had a look at all the stuff I’d have to cut, I resolved I’d only start cutting things if my symptoms got really bad.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Honestly, I have no pretentions to snobbery. The best coffee is the one you get when you are about to collapse on a night shift, even if much, much better coffee exists in the world. And the best sushi is the plain supermarket one you get between on-calls to treat yourself, even if the one from a good restaurat is so much nicer.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

I wear a lot of jewel tones, but I also wear a lot of earth tones, and I don’t really see them as being in competition. Rock all the colours!

82. pc or console?

Phone. XD I don’t play much on either, mainly due to time. Phone has the benefit of being in my pocket when I’m at a loose end on the bus, or at my parents’. I don’t sit down and make time to play, I play games in the stolen minutes here and there when I don’t have much to do.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Classical music radio in the office (because it’s the most neutral), retro stations in the car (or whatever your guests would like), and podcasts at home when you are by yourself.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

I didn’t have a real Barbie (fairly sure ours were knockoff dolls) but I do have fond memories of making outfits for our toys. Though our favourites were always various little animal models who got into all sorts of adventures.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but it’s a close call. Really, I’d have to say biscuits, since I eat those more often than either of the above.

88. your greatest wish?

For myself? To be happy. For others? Ditto. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Getting into my first degree. Feels like I fell into it, but it set me off on a great path, and I don’t regret that my initial path was far from straightforward.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

All of the above.

94. favorite season?

That kind of Spring-Summer interface when all the plants are in bloom, and the weather is warm but not too hot, and the days are long.

96. desktop background?

Arietty’s bedroom from the Ghibli Borrowers film adaptation. I’m a sucker for ghibli aesthetic; usually because my rooms end up similarly haphazardly adorned with cool things. 

98. favorite historical era?

Every era has its own awesomeness. I feel very fondly for the regency period because of all the books I’ve read set in it, likewise the Victorian period. Though both aren’t without their problems. I realised that I style my hair like a Victorian; centrally parted with a neat, low bun at the nape of the neck. XD

I think that might be all the questions! Phew!

[walkerismychoice]

Sticky Situation (Damien X MC)

Book: Perfect Match

Rating: Somewhere between PG/PG-13 I Don’t really know

Word Count: 1640

Author’s Note: This part 3 in the series chronicling my head-cannon of Damien and MC’s relationship up to present day, explaining why they have never been more than friends. I am loving the re-blogs, feedback, and comments I have gotten on the first two parts so far, so please keep it coming. Part 1 and 2 are linked below.

Part 1: For Safety | Part 2: Man of the Hour

Almost a week had passed since the party at Kai and Nadia’s apartment. Damien felt a little sting of disappointment each time he checked his phone and there wasn’t a text from Kai. He didn’t know what he was expecting from a woman in a long-term relationship. It was just that she had been so eager to give him her number, and to get his in return. Maybe she was just trying to be polite, but he thought they had hit it off pretty well and had a lot in common. He could text her, but he was scared of rejection, even just as friends. Maybe he would go the roundabout way and text Nadia. She was fun to be around too but a little less intimidating because there was nothing more than a friend vibe there. He could just ask how she’s been doing since the plea deal was accepted, no big deal… Maybe tomorrow.

=====

“So Nadia, have you heard from Damien at all since the party?” Kai asked expectantly. They didn’t exactly make concrete plans to hang out or anything, but she kind of got the impression Damien wanted to see her again. Odds are, if he hadn’t texted by now, he probably wouldn’t, and this was bumming her out.

“No he hasn’t, were you expecting him to?”

“Well, you told him we should all hang out, and I said the same thing before he left and he seemed into it.”

“I could invite him to our movie night tonight. I am a little tired of being the third wheel with you and Kyle.”

“Oh, are you interested in Damien? I thought you said he wasn’t your type?” Kai felt a twinge of jealousy at the possibility of her cousin dating Damien.

“Don’t worry, I can’t deny that he is hot, but I picture him with someone more… like you. I know you’ve claimed him, even if you can’t have him….yet,” Nadia teased playfully.

Dammit, why did Nadia have to know her so well? “Stop Nadia, the only man I have a ‘claim’ on is Kyle.” Despite what people say, it is possible for guys and girls to be just friends.”

“Okay then, if that’s what you choose to believe, I will definitely be inviting Damien tonight.”

=====

Kai checked her phone and saw a text message notification from Kyle:

Hey Babe, I have to go out with some clients tonight, so I won’t be able to make it.

Kai tried to be understanding. Big law firms were notorious for working their young lawyers to the bone, often expecting them to work 60-80 hours per week. But it seemed like Kyle was cancelling plans more and more often, expecting Kai to come running over when he finally got home around midnight.  Kai felt more like a booty call lately than Kyle’s girlfriend. But she also knew Kyle was close to becoming a junior partner in the firm. Hopefully this dedication would pay off and Kyle would have more control of his career and his schedule in the long run.

“Kyle cancelled on me again. It will just be you, me, and Damien tonight.”

“Looks like, I’m back to being the third wheel again.” Nadia laughed

“Nadia the joke is getting old.”

“All right, I’m done…for now.”

There was a knock on the door. Kai opened it and there was Damien looking softer and more casual than usual in an effortlessly sexy way. Kai really needed to learn to stop being so affected by him. He was carrying two large carryout bags that smelled heavenly. “Hi Damien, come in.”

“Nadia told me you both liked Thai food so I stopped at Bangkok House on the way.”

“What exceptional service! I think we should have you over more often. Did Nadia tell you that was my favorite restaurant?”

“No actually, that is my favorite restaurant too. I guess that’s another thing we have in common.”

“That’s refreshing. Kyle is more of a meat and potatoes guy, so I don’t go there as often as I used to.”

“Speaking of the devil,” quipped Nadia, “Kai just told me that Kyle had to cancel tonight. More food for the rest of us!”

Kai shot Nadia sideways look, She knew Nadia wasn’t Kyle’s biggest fan, but Nadia was hard to please. She was supportive of their relationship most of the time, but every once in a while she would throw in those little jabs, and it bothered Kai.

After dinner they sat down to watch a movie. Nadia hurried and grabbed the loveseat leaving the couch for Kai and Damien. Of course she would, thought Kai as she made sure to move as far to one side as she could. She noticed that Damien did the same. Whether it was because he wanted to make it clear he was only interested in being friends, or that he wanted to respect the fact that Kai was in a relationship, Kai wasn’t sure, but she was grateful either way. She didn’t need any incidental touching making her have feelings.

“What should we watch? How about The Notebook?” Nadia suggested.

“No!” Kai and Damien practically shouted in Unison. Kai was not about to watch a tearjerker romance with Damien right next to her, and apparently Damien felt the same. “Have you seen Orange County?” Kai asked Damien.

“Yes, it is one of my favorite Jack Black movies! Sounds perfect.”

“Okay,” Nadia conceded. “You two win this time, but next time it’s my choice.”

=====

That first movie night had been so much fun that they decided to make it a Friday night ritual, and had kept it up almost a year now. Sometimes they would go out, and other nights they would stay in and relax. Kyle joined a few times, but it became rare that he had a Friday evening free from client obligations. He had even started having more frequent weekend trips, which he assured Kai were necessary to secure the big clients.

Nadia and Damien went on their own dates here and there, but pretty much nothing lasted more than three dates for either of them. Kai was selfishly relieved when these relationships didn’t pan out. She practically felt single with Kyle’s work schedule, and didn’t want to sit home by herself every weekend. And if she was honest with herself, she was jealous any time Damien showed interest in another woman. She was able to bury her feelings and be happy being friends most of the time. But any time another woman came in the picture, Kai was reminded the feelings were still there.

=====

Damien loved the friendship he had developed with Kai and Nadia. He had been kind of a loner before they came into his life, and they made him realize he actually enjoyed being social with the right people. He buried his romantic feelings for Kai as best he could because she had become such a constant in his life, and he didn’t want to do anything to risk her friendship. She was still with Kyle and made no indication that she would be leaving him any time soon. Every once in a awhile, Kai would say or do something that left Damien wondering if there were mutual feelings, but nothing clear enough to let Damien risk putting his feelings out there.

Damien had never been a fan of Kyle for obvious reasons, but he was trying to trust Kai’s judgement. It was really hard for him to be objective with all things considered. However, as time went on, and Kyle got busier at the office, Damien was noticing a pattern he had seen many times before. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions and tell Kai that Kyle might be cheating, but he was pretty sure Kyle was cheating. He could just investigate it himself, but it was too risky because Kyle knew who he was.

So here Damien was on a Monday evening, waiting at a neighborhood dive bar for his private investigator friend Mike to arrive with some intel.

“Damien! Long time no see!” Damien stood to greet Mike as Mike shook his hand and gave him a clap on the back. “I’m glad I could be of service, but would it kill you to call me every once in a while just to drink beer  and shoot the shit?”

“Sorry Mike, you know I’m a bit of a recluse. It’s nothing personal.”

“Yes, I do know. Which leads me to question, how did you get wrapped up in this woman’s personal business? I take it you weren’t asking for a consult because the case was difficult. I just sat outside of this Kyle guy’s apartment for a few hours the last three days and I got plenty of evidence.”

Damien took a look at the photos, and they were clear as day; Kyle was cheating on Kai. In each of the photos, a petite, fair-skinned redhead, opposite of Kai in so many ways, appeared with Kyle. There were several photos of the pair entering and leaving Kyle’s apartment building. In the last set of photos, Kyle and the woman were shown kissing before Kyle sent the woman off in a cab. Even though it was what Damien had expected, it was still shocking to see the proof. He didn’t like the guy, and didn’t think he was right for Kai, but he didn’t want to see Kai get hurt either.

“Wow. There it is. Now I just have to figure out how to tell Kai without devastating her.”

“This woman must mean something special to you Damien. I do not envy the situation you have gotten yourself in, but good luck. Can I convince you to drown your sorrows in a drink before you get to figuring that all out?”

“Thanks Mike, I could use a drink…or maybe 5.”

[love-hrts]

So I was looking through dA journals...

and found this old meme

I gotta retake it right?

[ ] my fingernails/toenails are almost always painted (want to but lazy) [✓] during the summer the only shoes i wear are flip flops (or I’m barefoot) [ ] my favorite toys as a child were barbies (I wanted one but nana laughed) [ ] my favorite colour is pink or purple (one of my fave colors still ish pink.) [ ] I did Gymnastics [✓] I love skirts [ ] hollister is one of my favorite places to shop (I still dunno what this is) [✓] tight jeans are the only jeans i'll wear [✓] I love chocolate [✓] I've never had a real job (I had four part times, back then I thought that was real) TOTAL: 5 [ ] my hair is almost always straightened [ ] I have at least 8 myspace pictures (none of them are actual pics of me, either... XD) Myspace is dead [ ] I usually go shopping once a week POOR [ ] I love to hang out at the mall with friends (what friends) [ ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earings [ ] I've gone to a tanning salon [ ] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim [ ] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes [ ] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach [ ] I change my icon weekly [✓] I wear a shower cap TOTAL: 1 [ ] I don't shop at Hot Topic [ ] my cell phone might as well become a part of me (I dun have a cell phone. ._.') I do now, (well a PDA) but constantly lose it [ ] I wear mascara everyday [ ] I've been or am on a diet [✓] bathing suits are adorable [ ] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat. [✓] big sunglasses are hot [ ] I have gotten my nails done before [ ] MTV is one of my favorite channels (I only watch MTV2 cuz of DEATHMATCH!) TOTAL: 2 [ ] all I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys [ ] I love to have gurls do my hair IF I HAD ANY... GURLS [ ] I give and recieve hugs from all my friends (I checked last time but I counted web hugs and now I don’t) [✓] I hate bugs (Not all of them but a lot scare me now????) [ ] carnivals are so fun! (meh) [ ] Summer is THE best season [ ] my swimsuit has 2 pieces (I’m too ugly...) [✓] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor (20 years now...) [ ] musicians are so hot [ ] you write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful and I'm all yours TOTAL: 2 [✓I am self-conscious [✓] I cry often (counting this cuz more often than 2005) [ ] my car smells like vanilla or cherry [ ] my dishes get washed more than once a week(more like month or so...) I’m down to fortnight at most [✓] I don't do sports [✓] I HATE to run (Fun fact I’m seeing a doctor about fatigue! Hooray for lifelong health issues!!) [✓] I squeal when I am surprised or angry (It pisses off nana) [✓] I eat dried fruit as a snack (dried cherries is the bomb) [ ] I love romance novels [✓] Drew Barrymore is so cute (<3) TOTAL: 7 [✓] I dance a lot. (barely LOL) [✓] usually spend an hour or over to get ready to leave my house anxiety... [✓] I only have like 5 billion hair products and they all didn’t WORK!! [✓] I love to get dressed up.(I usually roll out of bed wearing what I wear XD) this is still true except now I wish I put on a cute dress... [ ] every part of my outfit needs to match(Match? what am I? a nazzie?!) I don’t get this comment... then again nazi jokes were everywhere in the oughts... [ ] I talk on the phone at least once a day to my friends this one’s sad cuz now I kinda want this????? [✓] I would love to have a photo shoot (mixed but yeah if I were hot yes yeah yes) [ ] I apply lip stuff 50 times a day [✓] I wish I were a model SIGH... TOTAL: 6 [ ] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton (to kill her) I don’t hate Paris Hilton now but aunno she was the homestuck of the early oughts okay [ ] I have been something that was semi (like a truck? wha what is this..) [ ] I own Uggs [ ] Hip Hop is the best music [ ] I pop my collar (How is this girly? it’s like 80s fuckboy) [ ] I like to be the center of attention [ ] guys with Mohawks are crazy [ ] horses are beautiful [✓] I'd rather not pay attention in school [✓] Cats are adorable :3 TOTAL: 2 [✓] I write my own music [✓] I would love to visit Hawaii (I want to drive one car through all 50 states) [ ] Valentine's day is so cute! [✓] white is better than black (Black is me mourning my lost gender, white is my gender being revived) [✓] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black (I say this and I have a black kitty jumper) [✓] my closet is STOCK FULL of clothes [✓] hate the grunge look [✓] I love to read magazines TOTAL: 7 [✓] I love to gossip (blame twitter) [ ] I had Lisa Frank folders/posters/notebooks as a kid (my drawing folder ish a Lisa Frank folder. :/) I don’t understand this comment, 20 year old me... [ ] I love Celine Dion I HATE HER [✓] my bubble baths are 1-2hrs long IF I HAD A BATHTUB [ ] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned [ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other. [ ] I like little kids [ ] Diet drinks are the best (Die+T) [ ] I'm all about being vegetarian [✓] I refuse to eat at McDonalds When I was homeless we ate at McDonalds for a month cuz dollar burger and GOD it made me so sick NEVER AGAIN TOTAL: 3 [ ] I check my myspace everyday. Myspace is dead LOL and the modern equivalent is... facebook???? which I try very hard to block [ ] I love life! kssshhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOO oh god I’d kill myself if the pain wasn’t too much [ ] I have a lot of jewelry! (more than enough, anyway.) [ ] my screen name(s) have x's in them [ ] either one of my myspace names has/had <3's or in them [ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex I was going “oh hey that changed!” but then I thought “wait sex as in gender or sex as in gonad” and if it’s the latter then I want different gonads cuz I really need to experience pregnancy or it’ll be a problem for everyone... I’ll make it a problem for everyone. [✓] It's not what he/she said it's the way he/she said it SIGH yeah okay I guess that changed about me XD [✓] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed TOTAL: 2 Now add up all the total points and put "I am __% girly" for the subject if you steal or get tagged.

I’m 36% girly XD

Not much has changed but honestly what do you expect from a 2005 meme, I like how there’s a trans question, like “if you’re cis and can’t say yes to never wanting to be the opposite sex... maybe rethink that.”

[alex-writes-things]

100 Things I Love

1.      Poetry and beautiful quotes from literature

2.     Feeling it start to rain on a hot day or when you’ve been exercising

3.     Sitting in a dimly lit room, writing and listening to music

4.     Old typewriters and record players

5.     Kelly Macdonald/Joanne Davidson

6.     People who ship Wolfstar, Flemson, Cazzie etc

7.     Watching someone play with children or be affectionate with children

8.     Huge open fields

9.     Laying in said fields with my girlfriend (hi beth if you’re reading this)

10.   Queer women represented in fiction

11.     Drinking fanta on a hot day

12.    Cities, especially Rome, especially in summer or when it’s raining

13.    Watching storms and rain from a window

14.   Smiling when I think of old memories

15.    Line of Duty (sorry, had to mention it)

16.   Listening to music very loud through headphones

17.    Looking at people in cities and towns and wondering what their story is

18.   Trains, and the feeling of looking out of your window and watching miles fly by

19.   Making/finding and giving gifts

20.  At concerts when they hold out their mic to the audience and everyone screams back the lyrics

21.    Beth’s laugh. And her voice. And pretty much all her mannerisms 😊

22.   Cats

23.   Hozier, Frank Turner, Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, The Head and The Heart, The Strumbrellas, and countless other artists that make me feel at home with their music

24.  Pretty flowers and bright green lawns and huge houses with hidden ruins and statues and secrets!

25.   Watching someone in love look at their person

26.  Road trips and car journeys

27.   Theme parks and running from one side to the other so you don’t miss your favourite ride

28.  Talking to my friends

29.  Talking to people that I don’t often talk to and falling platonically in love with little things about them

30.  Coming home after a long day

31.    Being accepted after coming out to someone or mentioning that I have a girlfriend

32.   Reading all day and being so gripped that I forget anything else exists

33.   Texting someone at 1am and getting a reply

34.   Being told that I helped someone or made their day a bit better

35.   Holding hands (with Beth), hugging (Beth only. Like sorry. But no hugs.), leaning on (Beth’s) shoulders.

36.  Sleepovers, and staying up so late talking that the sky starts to lighten outside the window

37.   Finally understanding something I’ve been struggling with

38.   Walking

39.  Packing bags for holidays, school trips and days out

40.  When someone sees that you’re upset and doesn’t say anything but helps quietly

41.   Lesbians. Girls. Women. Girls that love girls. Literally lesbians.

42.  Picnics

43.   Stargazing and cloud watching either with someone I love or by myself

44.  Beaches early in the morning

45.  Running through the shallow waves on a beach with a dog at my heels

46.  Finding pretty rocks and shells or cool creatures out in nature, watching other people do this too!

47.  Sleeping beside someone you care about and you see their sleepy smile and messed up hair in the morning

48.  Willow trees and clear chalk rivers

49.  Mountains and tall buildings and anything incomprehensibly huge

50.  Casual touches between people who are completely comfortable with one another

51.    Writing poetry when I’m alone

52.   Being alone, especially on a journey or home alone

53.   Fish, and seals, and whales and dolphins and all of those crazy sea creatures that exist

54.  The fact that there are so many humans out there that live and create and love and hate and feel things? And we’re all stuck in our one life. I hate it but I also think it’s wonderful

55.   Sexual and romantic tension in books. It isn’t necessary but sometimes it’s what makes me fall in love with a book even more

56.  Fajitas, burritos, guacamole, street food, dim sum, Vietnamese restaurants

57.   Watching plays and musicals

58.  How much opportunity there is in the world, and how much we still have left to learn

59.  Cliffs

60.  Wind in trees, in hair, in clothes

61.   Finding beautiful things out about people I love

62.  Listening to someone tell me their childhood stories (to an extent haha)

63.  Playing guitar especially when I’m alone

64.  Figuring out the chords to a song I like on my guitar

65.  Vicky McClure/Kate Fleming, Martin Compston/Steve Arnott, Adrian Dunbar/Ted Hastings, Kelly Macdonald (again), Scarlett Johansson, Keeley Hawes, Jennifer Lawrence

66.  Being truly alone or being in a crowd with nobody that knows me

67.  Black nail polish

68.  Jewellery especially rings and earrings

69.  Denim jackets, cord jackets and other kinds of jackets like this

70.  When people smile at each other across the room

71.    When people scrunch their noses as they smile or laugh or something

72.   Reading people’s head canons about tv shows and fandoms they’re passionate about, even when I don’t agree

73.   Analysing poems in English class (don’t ask why)

74.  Watching banter between old friends

75.   Rediscovering music I haven’t heard in a while

76.  Salt and vinegar crisps

77.   Leaving school at the end of term with my friends

78.  Singing with my friends

79.  The Midnight Library (Matt Haig), Children of Blood and Bone (Tomi Adeyemi), Red White and Royal Blue (Casey McQuinston), A Good Girl’s Guide To Murder (Holly Jackson)

80.  Enamel pins

81.   Stationery of all kinds, but especially notebooks

82.  Antiques shops and old book shops

83.   Edinburgh, York, Cambridge, Snowdonia, London, Rome, Palma

84.  The sound of people laughing, people shouting, people chatting

85.  Acting

86.  Having fun and doing stupid things with my friends, my girlfriend, my drama group

87.  Wearing nice clothes and then the feeling of being complimented on them

88.  Climbing mountains and canoeing

89.  The taste of cold water on a hot day

90.  Online/window shopping just for fun and not to buy anything just to look

91.   Crying at a sad book, film, poem or TV show

92.  Finding out a famous person that I look up to or respect is part of the LGBT+ community

93.  Researching for a project I care about

94.  Frogs, rats, kittens, dinosaurs

95.  Pretty ukuleles and guitars

96.  Finally understanding something in a maths or chemistry lesson and feeling like I’m not as stupid as I think

97.  Huge communities of people coming together

98.  Ancient Rome, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, ancient mythology, literature from a very long time ago

99.  The film 1917

100. Finishing a good book and never wanting to let it go ever again

[doctormelapples]

I want every personal

Sorry this took so long

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

erm, idk but I can list some of my favs? how about “Mr. Know-It-All” by Young The Giant, “Brain Stew” by Green Day, “Swimming Pool” by The Front Bottoms, “Tokyo Narita (Freestyle)” by Halsey and Lido, “Big Jet Plane” by Angus & Julia Stone, and “Doo Wop (That Thing)” by Lauryn Hill

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Do they have to be alive?? How about Beyonce Twin #2

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

I’m sitting right next to a bookshelf wtf. Okay the first book only had a line 12, Book 2: “…glittering sceptres. These shones so brightly September had to shade her..”

4: What do you think about most?

I see photo opprotunities when I walk? like if I’m walking past a house I see the exact angle that I would take a picture of it with and what the frame and coloring would turn out to be? does that count?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Text or sc?? cuz idk on either tbh sc:goals text:theenks

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I have none, so like,,

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are beautiful, Boys are beautiful, and so is everyone else

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

lol no

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

like yesterday probs

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Strange? idk

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

When I was a child,,, marble

13: What’s your religion?

who’s that

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

being sad or taking pictures

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind absolutely

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

jesus christ

17: What was the last lie you told?

I have a headache

18: Do you believe in karma?

sort of, like maybe not the textbook definition but I do think that you get what you give to some extent

19: What does your URL mean?

listen,,, okay Doctor is because i like doctor who and melapples is a dan and phil reference, okay, i made it when i joined tumblr, I was young and unknowing, okay

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: I’m too emotionally soft; strength: whom’st’d’ve

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Does phil count, phil counts? It’s Phil

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

almost

23: How do you vent your anger?

ahah, to the world and through tears tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect izze + snapple tops, then got bored

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting, I like seeing facial expressions

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

whom?

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

It took me FOREVER to think of a sound I hate, and like i had sounds i love when my fingers hit the keys. sound I hate: Fork schreeching on a plate; sound I love: laughs, soft sounds of fingers on skin, leaves crunching as you wak in autumn, or snow in the winter, wind, papers fluttering

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I had stayed at my old school

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

well not really, but aliens absolutely, like, there is no way the universe is so fucking big, and there isn’t life outside of earth

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

My window frame; a notebook

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

somebody is making pasta downstairs

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

what kind of worst? cuz like I believe that no matter where you go you can always get something out of it. Let’s go with my racist ass school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

EAST

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

idk harry styles?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

42?

how about: to know, be, see, and do what you want

36: Define Art.

Life

37: Do you believe in luck?

kinda like the same way I belive in karma

38: What’s the weather like right now?

It’s been rainy all day and we just had a rainbow. It’s cleared up now

39: What time is it?

1:23:09 AM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

no

41: What was the last book you read?

A graphic novel called March about John Lewis

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

yeah actually

43: Do you have any nicknames?

lila bean

44: What was the last film you saw?

Wonder Woman pretty sure

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

all of the skin on my leg was scraped off once so

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I’ve had a beautiful butterfly land on me during a meditation session once

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

strawberry milkshakes

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I’m pan bro

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes rip how fun

50: Do you believe in magic?

in my hopes and dreams

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

no, I’m really bad at holding longterm grudges but you better fucking run for at least two weeks if u piss me off

52: What is your astrological sign?

scoooorrrrrppppiiiiooooo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i save money highkey short term and mass spend it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A swimsuit. oh shit no wait strawberry syrup for milkshakes

55: Love or lust?

lust

56: In a relationship?

damn i wish

57: How many relationships have you had?

3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

crying in bed all day tbh

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

my comforter that I’m sitting on lowkey has pink flowers on it

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

listen,,, fuck socks okay no

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats homie

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

laugh at their jokes + be a pleasant person

64: Where is your best friend?

idk probably sleeping somewhere tbh

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

i don’t pay enough attention soz

66: What is your heritage?

like,,? My dad is from finland probably but otherwise i have no idea, all my family tree has is slavery so

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

fuck dude crying

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

smith

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

hell yes

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

idk i hope so

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i like can’t really swim that well so like probably get the attention of someone who can and get the dog saved then go to work. but fuck that job tho

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

nah bro, i would try and accomplish everything i wanted, travel, be happy with family, and make friends happy, not afraid

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

bills by lunchmoney lewis

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

or not?

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, communication, known goals

77: How can I win your heart?

idk bro its pretty easy out here a-fucking-pparently

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yeah for sure

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Join theatre

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5 or 10

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

rip in pieces

82: What is your favourite word?

antidisestablishmentarianism

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the image of the organ tbh

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

lit, tbh, rip, wild

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

star by brockhampton

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

pink rn, it was just green, i fluctuate

87: What is your current desktop picture?

a picture i took of a car mirror in a violet sunset

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

trump probs but only if he is right next to pence that bitch will not be president

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

why are you sad

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

FUCKING RUN DUDE CLIMB OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW FUCK THAT SHIT NO GET OUTTA MY FACE FUCK

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

elements my dude. if I had to pick which one it would be wind probs

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The half-hour where I thought I fell in love with someone before they broke up w me a week later

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

no

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

RIHANNA

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Prague 

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

probably, but not that i know of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

omg yes don’t remind me

98: Ever been on a plane?

yups a few times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

damn y y’all listening to me?

probs something like “jesus christ just shut up and listen to each other speak without jumping to fucking conclusions and preconceived notions of what other people are like kay?”

[sweetsmellosuccess]

The Best (and Worst) Films of 2016

Most of the year, I kept hearing from people what a lousy year it had been for movies, especially during the sloggier parts of the summer, when it seemed everything had a cape, a pop-culture friendly quip, or people running from explosions (more or less everything that echoed Election Day). One of the (few) great advantages to being a film critic, however, is getting to festivals and seeing fine films yet to be released. At Sundance alone, I saw three of the films that made my Best list – including the heralded number one spot – but they weren’t going to be coming out until awards season. I kept telling people to just wait, and not to judge the year until late December, but my pleas often fell on deaf ears. As it turned out, 2016, with its myriad of other disappointments both personal and global, actually was very solid as far as cinema goes. What’s more, some of my favorite films I saw this year still haven’t been released, giving 2017 a jumpstart (I indicate those upcoming releases below).

Behold then, the best of what I saw last year, followed by the worst, followed by various other made-up categories to give us something to talk about later.

10. Cameraperson “Like photographer Mary Ellen Mark, Kirsten Johnson’s success comes less from her technical expertise (which is vast) than her emotional openness, which her subjects respond to with uncanny vulnerability. The result is as much a treatise on the universal human condition as a personal ode to a career of significance and accomplishment.”  Capsule Review

9. A War “Utilizing his lo-fi, quasi-Dogme style – including natural lighting, handheld cameras, and natural dialogue – Lindholm plays down the more dramatic elements of war and presents us with a relatively simple ethical quandary. We pull for Pedersen to be cleared of charges because Lindholm has deftly made us care for him and his family, but we also understand his order saved his men but doomed many innocents, including a number of children. There are no winners, here in other words, no matter the outcome of the case, a great tragedy has taken place, and there is no justice to be found.” Full Review

8. Kubo “It is incredibly easy to sleepwalk through the creation of such fare, as animation studios from DreamWorks to Disney have shown time and again, creating easy-to-recognize character cutouts and standard dramatic arcs – along with a grating amount of topical humor – but first-time director Travis Knight, the head of Laika, believes in his material enough to give it, and his audience, proper respect.” Full Review

7. Certain Women “As the film progresses, the stories begin to darken like a sheet of contact paper in developer, revealing loneliness and the increased desperation of the characters to connect to anything outside of their own mitigated existence. It’s not the type of film you would expect to wrap things up, but each story is given a brief coda that brings everything into sharper focus.” Capsule Review

6. The Handmaiden “Another film that had earned high praise coming out of Cannes, Chan wook-Park’s film is a stunner, visually gorgeous, erotically vibrant, and narratively multi-layered. The story involves a streetwise thief named Sook-hee (Kim Tae-ri) who is hired by a smooth-talking scoundrel (Jung-woo Ha) to act as his mole, working as the handmaiden for a very wealthy, seemingly demure Japanese woman, Lady Hideko (Min-hee Kim), and helping him trick her into marrying him. What starts as a straightforward con gets vastly more complicated by the feelings the two women start to develop for one another – if they can be believed. Chan wook-Park has always been an outrageously gifted stylist, but this film puts him on another level on the upper echelon. It’s fascinating, fun, and deeply satisfying.” Capsule Review

5. The Fits “Aiding Holmer’s appropriately minimalist script is the fine camera work of DP Paul Yee, who infuses the film with just the right amount of dream-like abstruseness to make the project truly come together. It’s the kind of film that has no intention of providing you with concrete answers, which makes it all the better suited towards its material.”Capsule Review

4. Always Shine “The film is actually playing with a very full agenda, utilizing both the act of male gaze (the film opens with Anna delivering a tearful reading to a group of as-first unseen producers), and female gaze (Beth watching her friend in the shower, or flirting with another man at a bar) along with the subtle underpinnings of traditional horror – two young, pretty women alone in the woods, with a soundtrack of unnerving wind chimes and juiced-up ambient sound – to generate it’s peculiar narrative. The effect is both powerfully discombobulating, and also, somehow intensely personal.” Capsule Review

3. Under the Shadow “Taken as a metaphor for the oppressive nature of the Revolution itself, the ongoing threat of war, or as the emotional fall-out from Shideh’s dream deferred, Babak Anvari’s taut script and superbly rendered atmospherics (so effective are they, one of the film’s biggest jump scares involves nothing more than a toaster) help to conjure one of the more chilling mother/child dynamics since The Babadook.” Capsule Review

2. La La Land “This is not easy for me to write. I have disavowed the musical form my entire adult life, decried its forced cheer and insincere, melodramatic pathos. I wouldn’t be caught dead at a Broadway musical, I assure you. But this film, my friends, left me – and I should point out, many of my fellow critics at the Toronto International Film Fest – in a little puddle on my seat. It’s everything people have always claimed to me a musical is meant to be: exhilarating, fearless, sweepingly moving, and leaving you glad to be alive. Somehow the ridiculously talented Chazelle (whose last film, Whiplash was one of my favorites in 2014) has produced a film of stunning grace and emotional warmth, and in the process, like little Cindy Lou Who, has managed to unlock my previously frigid heart.” Full Review

1. Manchester by the Sea “Despite an elongated running time (the rough-cut shown at Sundance stands about 135 minutes), not a moment feels padded, and not a detail is wasted (including a brief but strangely poignant scene where characters do little more than open and close a car door).” Full Review

Special Notation: As eagle-eyed readers may note, The Witch is not on this list. This is not a forgetful omission. Last year, too eager not to talk about it, I included it as my fave film of 2015, even though its release date was actually this past February. Had I not jumped the gun, it most certainly would have been in my top three this year. Going forward, I will try to stick to the Academy voting rules, and only include films in my top ten that were actually released in the calendar year. I’ll include a separate list for as-yet unreleased films that I found exceptional. All clear? Good.

Other Worthy Mentions: Arrival, Author: The JT Leroy Story, Burden, Hell or High Water, I Am Not Your Negro, Kate Plays Christine, Little Men, Love & Friendship, Loving, Moonlight, Presenting Princess Shaw, Sherpa, Starless Dreams, The Nice Guys, Tickled, Toni Erdmann, Weiner, While We’re Young, Zootopia

Best Upcoming Releases of 2017

1.              Personal Shopper

2.              Graduation

3.              The Unknown Girl

4.              The Salesman

5.              Nerdland

6.              Free Fire

The Worst Films of 2016

5. The Light Between Oceans “Cianfrance has chosen to shoot much of the film with natural light; Tom’s initial stay on the island is lit largely by candles, a decision that seems to make perfect sense in theory, but here, as with many such artistic decisions, it merely comes across as hoary and stale. His camera, shifting between rigid stationary exteriors, hand-held dramatic surges, and extreme close-ups of his actor’s concerned countenances, follows along in that achingly predictable manner. Most of his decisions sound fine in a vacuum – one can imagine production meetings with everyone nodding their heads and writing exclamation points in their notebooks – but on-screen, they too often come across as stilted and inert. For all its supposed naked emotionalism, the film feels achingly predictable, and worse yet, far more obvious to the audience than the characters, a situation that generally leads to antipathy.” Full Review

4. The Neon Demon “His oeuvre, which includes such brutally substantial films as Bronson and Valhalla Rising, suggests an auteur with a major violent streak, but his best work also invokes a kind of visual poetry, sublimating his carnage with a light dusting of grace and artistry. Since the relative success of Drive, an ‘80s inspired noir drama set in Los Angeles, however, it’s as though he has been allowed to release his full id on the screen, indulging his twisty sadism and growing self-aggrandizement, and dropping the pretense of much else. Like Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust, he has made love with his ego, and is losing his grip on his work.” Full Review

3. Tomorrowland “It’s a clumsy clap-for-Tinkerbell moment in which the stakes aren’t just the imaginative powers of young children, but their ability even to conceive of a better future than the one we’re all fixing to give them, with climate change, disrupted eco-systems and greedy capitalism run rampant, destabilizing entire continents in its endless gluttony.” Full Review

2. 50 Shades of Grey “That story is essentially Pretty Woman: a rich, callous, vaguely damaged playboy takes in a young tabula rasa of a waif, teaches her the ways she can best sexually please him, and, after a few dips, tumbles, and just enough of the man’s emotional bloodletting, the two fall in love, never to return to their previous incarnations. But even given this strict formula, and by the loathsome standard set by Hollywood precedent, Christian Grey is infuriating, a stalking, humorless control freak who disregards everything demure Anastasia says in order to follow his own unerring instinct about what it is she really wants, implementing his every whim as he sees fit.” Full Review

1. Alice Through the Looking Glass “Facing the production of a “family friendly” film that the Mouse feared might confuse and alienate children (as opposed to delight and enchant them), director James Bobin and longtime Disney scribe Linda Woolverton quickly scrapped everything of Carroll’s book, stripping it down to the studs in order to rebuild it from the ground up. Regrettably, the structure they built is like a bland townhouse on a boring cul-de-sac in a meandering subdivision on the outskirts of nothing much: There’s no “there” anywhere near it.” Full Review

Other Dishonorable Entries: Allied, Bad Moms, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, How to be Single, Insolvent, Passengers, The Legend of Tarzan, The Secret Scripture, Zoolander 2

Inexplicably Overrated: The Eyes of My Mother

Biggest Welcome Surprise(s): Hell or High Water, Presenting Princess Shaw, Kubo

Most Bitter Disappointment(s): Everybody Wants Some!!, Hail, Caesar!, The Neon Demon

Film That Critics Got Wrong: Rogue One

Film I Whiffed On: Moonlight

[limejuicer1862]

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Heather Derr-Smith

is a poet with four books, Each End of the World (Main Street Rag Press, 2005), The Bride Minaret (University of Akron Press, 2008), Tongue Screw (Spark Wheel Press, 2016), and Thrust winner of the Lexi Rudnitsky/Editor’s Choice Award (Persea Books, 2017). Her work has appeared in Fence, Crazy Horse and Missouri Review. She is managing director of Cuvaj Se, a nonprofit supporting writers in conflict zones and post-conflict zones and divides her time mostly between Iowa and Sarajevo, Bosnia.

The Interview

1. When and why did you start writing poetry?

I often say my inspiration to write poetry came from the movie Wings of Desire by Wim Wenders. I remember that film as instigating me to make a declaration of knowing how I wanted to live my life and what I wanted to “do.” It was an epiphany. I wanted to be one of the angels, listening and observing, but also I wanted to be like the angel who chose to become human to experience the world, fall in love even with all its pain. I realized I loved the world. I realized there was a world outside of myself to love. This was a coming of age moment for me, at about sixteen.

But also I was inspired all along by language, a fascination with words, a desire to create a self that had been fractured by trauma in childhood and into adulthood. I have early memories of writing every word I knew all over the church bulletin. There was scripture and gospel songs with weird images and the preaching. I hated my religious upbringing for its authoritarianism and it’s deep immorailty as it paved the way for what we see now in Trump. But the language of the scripture and the hymns I loved very much.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

Our home had no books, no literature. My parents came from poverty, were the first generation to rise out of poverty, but were not college-educated.  My mother drove the right-wing religious climate in the home, and she and my stepfather drove the right-wing political in concert. I’d say the psalms were he first poems I heard. But I do remember an antique book my mother had called “A Child’s Garden of Verses” and I believe a poem I loved about having to go to bed early in summer when it’s still light out and the birds are singing and you want to play. But my first introduction to poetry in the sense we think of it had to have been the Smiths, with “Keats and Yeats are on your side–but Wilde is on mine.” which led me to ask who are Keats and Yeats? There was literature in school which I did love. The usual books we were required to read in middle school and into high school. I loved those. But I really loved the literature I found through the music I loved–The Stranger by Camus, from the Cure as another example. I found so much through references in the music of the time (the 80’s) but also I wrote poems based on song lyrics, impressionistic, associative, and to me these fragments which were based on song lyrics were my poems.

3. How aware are and were you of the dominating presence of older poets traditional and contemporary?

I had no older poets until I finally got to the University of Virginia. I ran away from home, was homeless for a while, got an apartment, waited tables, found my way to one year of Liberty University (the only way I could imagine going to college) then transferred after a year to the University of Virginia. Charles Wright, Rit Dove, and Greg Orr were teachers then. I had no idea who they were. You had to apply to get into their undergraduate workshops. I did and got in and started writing poetry. I knew nothing. I did not know the graduate students. I wasn’t very well educated because I had endured so much trauma in high school in and out of the home, that I really wasn’t learning much formally. I only knew my teachers, who I loved; my peers, who I also loved; and I got to know poets in books: Philip Levine, John Berryman, Sylvia Plath, Li-Young Lee. I applied to the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and had no idea what it was all about. I just knew if you were a poet you were supposed to go to Iowa, so I applied and went.

There I loved my teachers, Mark Doty and Marvin Bell especially, Jorie Graham. The ones I didn’t love I still learned from. I did not know any other poets outside of class. I didn’t got to AWP. There was no social media.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

I have notebooks I keep in a stack on a table in my bedroom. Each notebook is labeled  with projects I’m working on. One is “Arabic” for learning arabic, “Bosnian” for writing poems  in Bosnian, “french” for writing poems in french. Then titles of book projects “Heathen” for gender identity stuff. “Violence” for exploring ideas about violence in writing–boxing, war–resistance etc. I have a “commonplace book” which is fragments and notes from my reading. I do not write every single day, but I am mindful of always engaged in the process of writing. I trust my mind and heart to be absorbing, listening, taking in, attentive to the world. I take notes when I want to remember something specific, and I do my notebooks regularly enough–maybe just 15 minutes a day for a few days or a couple days out of the week, and over time I have a compilation of ideas, themes, lines, words, images, etc.  There’s always something connected to writing that I do every day because it’s all connected to writing–watching a film, reading the news, corresponding with friends or loves, looking at art, listening to music, loving my animal friends, al of it goes into my work. I just strive for balance like breathing–taking in and breathing out, active creation and restful re-creation.

5. What motivates you to write?

It seems to be something I have to do and was born to do. It feels inherent to me and myself. It feels like a whole way of being.

6. What is your work ethic?

I work hard. I love to work. I’m satisfied in my labor. At first I would have been driven to work in my home life with chores and a high level of parentification–a drive to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the adults around me, which meant trying hard to please and trying hard not to get in trouble. Then I revolted against the abuse at home and said “Fuck this!” and left. But with my friends who had also experienced a lot of trauma, were runaways, homeless etc. we created our own families and had to work. We were so young, 15, 16, 17 and up. And it wasn’t perfect and we retraumatized one another in many ways, but it was honestly better for my spirit and my mind and heart than homelife had been.

So I found a way to be proud of my own labor and that has stuck with me. Now I’m 48 and I am a big big believer in NOT doing things. I believe in canceling, saying no, not leaving the house, and not being “productive.”  I believe in naps, sitting quietly, and snuggling the dogs. I still like being productive and working hard but I do not like striving at all. Striving to “make it” that feeling that this could “lead to something” bigger, better. Nope nope nope.

I spent some time in an Amish-mennonite community and I liked the idea of work as sacramental, mopping floors, working in the garden, caring for children and animals and others as a way of connecting and loving, not trying so much to amass wealth or be “productive” in the capitalist sense. That has stuck with me.

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

Sylvia Plath’s rage and violence are still something in my poems that I’m interested in exploring. Berryman’s weird syntax which also connects to Shakespeare and the Bible. Charles Wright’s similes and metaphors and stringing together images with a colloquial bit of diction, with a quote from a philosopher. Larry Levis’ “I” who is deeply empathetic and wanders ut from his own self into the wider world.Mark Doty’s ethics and authenticity of emotion. These are all things still with me.

8. Whom of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

I admire so many. I think it would be impossible to name them, they just keep coming. Twitter has been a boon and a curse. I’ve managed to curate my twitter in such a way that I am surrounded by a really wonderful, diverse, generous, community of writers at all stages in their callings. I learn from all of them every day.  I hate to name names because then I will leave someone out. There are at least hundreds, if not thousands. It’s a little overwhelming. But certain books have been particularly groundbreaking for me in the last couple years. I would say Ilya Kaminsky’s Deaf Republic is one, Gabrielle Calvocoressi’s Rocket fantastic is another and Justin Phillip Reed’s Indecency. Those three have just blown open so many doors I want to hang out a while in those rooms.

9. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

I keep working on my non-profit, Cuvaj se/Take Care. I’ve chosen to spend a great deal of my time and energy the last few decades facilitating poetry workshops in conflict zones and post-conflict zones and communities affected by trauma and violence. I started back in 1994 while I was learning about poetry and the war in Bosnia was culminating in genocide. I went over to volunteer in a refugee camp and I made a lifelong commitment to that country through more than twenty years of ongoing recovery. All of my earnings from poetry go into this work and all of the work has been self funded, and expanded to other countries, including Syria, and most recently Ukraine. I started the non-profit so that I could apply for grants to help build capacity and do more. We do poetry workshops that emphasize lgbtq rights, human rights, interethnic cooperation, migrant rights, critical thinking etc. and we also fund writers with grants to support their work, fundraise for emergency/critical financial support, and translation. Donations to Cuvaj se from individual donors always goes directly to writers or students in need to support their work. Running a non-profit is new to me, and I’m learning as I go and I’m taking it slow. https://cuvajse.org/

My fifth manuscript is to be published in 2021, but I can’t say anything more about that yet! There’s a lot in it about gender, seuality, violence, and God, my familiar themes (or demons? I like that use of a familiar) I remain obsessed with. But I am happy for the amount of time I have to really dig in hard with revisions and to make it the strongest book I can write. I don’t move on to the next book until I get the present one published–so every bit of my energy and strength will go into it.

I’m also having so much fun making poetry videos. I was hugely inspired by Agnes Varda and have been making these little clips of poems, readings, with sometimes goofy video. I love it and I want to take a film class and learn how to make more and better ones. I don’t care if they are amateurish or seem unpolished. I learned from Agnes varda just to do what you love and give your heart to it and learn as you go. I think this is the link to subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChhjf1Vp_5o6siKsuhv_G0A?view_as=subscriber My poetry website is here: https://heatherderrsmith.com/

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Heather Derr-Smith Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

[caveartfair]

The 11 Best Photo Books You May Have Missed This Year

“In the blur of the photograph, time leaves its gleaming, snail-like track,” wrote the experimental novelist and photographer Wright Morris, and his words feel right to affix to the act of reconsidering some of the strongest, most resonant, and perhaps overlooked photo books published this year, both works by new photographers and rare or unseen works by the dead and living greats.

Nancy Rexroth, IOWA

Nancy Rexroth, photo from IOWA. Courtesy of University of Texas Press.

Nancy Rexroth, photo from IOWA. Courtesy of University of Texas Press.

In that vein, or rather, on that gleaming track, arrives University of Texas Press’s reissue of Nancy Rexroth’s IOWA. Rexroth’s black-and-white photographs, all taken with a toy plastic Diana camera, and not in Iowa, but Ohio, land on ordinary subjects—livestock, woodframe houses, children playing in backyards and on porches, sunlit interiors—but render them as square-framed dreams, evocative and mysterious. A cult classic sought out by photobook collectors, IOWA returns to print for its 40th anniversary, with a foreword by the acclaimed contemporary photographer Alec Soth.

Joseph Rodriguez, Spanish Harlem: El Barrio in the ’80s

From Spanish Harlem by Joseph Rodriguez, published by powerHouse books.

There is so much heart in the images that comprise Joseph Rodriguez’s Spanish Harlem: El Barrio in the ’80s. Vibrant and irreverent, they portray lives lived largely out in the open, in the streets and playgrounds, in daily religious and musical ritual, and also acknowledging the darker side of life in 1980s Spanish Harlem, economically forgotten and affected by drugs, crime, and poverty. The photographer’s affection for the community of Harlem is rich and deep.

TBW Books’s Subscription Series

Mike Mandel, photo from Boardwalk Minus Forty , 1973–83. © Mike Mandel. Courtesy of TBW Books.

This year’s edition of TBW Books’s annual Subscription Series is a consistently excellent four-book set of rare and never-before-published bodies of work by influential living photographers. TBW Subscription Series No. 5 includes Susan Meiselas’s Prince Street Girls, her intimate photographs of a group of teenagers and girls in the Lower East Side of the late 1970s; Mike Mandel’s wonderful portfolio Boardwalk Minus Forty; Lee Friedlander’s Head (whose recurring titular motif astutely, movingly, and wittingly transforms each frame); and Bill Burke’s They Shall Take Up Serpents, which spools a fascinating narrative in its portrayal of the lives of coal miners who double as religious snake handlers.

William Gedney, William Gedney: Only the Lonely, 1955–1984

William Gedney, Cornett Girls, Kentucky, 1964. Courtesy of the University of Texas Press.

William Gedney, San Francisco, 1967. Courtesy of the University of Texas Press.

This is the first book devoted to the late and vastly underexamined photographer William Gedney’s work in nearly 20 years. For those new to Gedney, the book serves as a fine introduction; for others, there is much to rediscover and a rare glimpse at the photographer’s process, via a selection of his artist’s notebooks introduced by Margaret Sartor.

Gedney died at just 56, of an AIDS-related illness in 1989, and was not open about his homosexuality until relatively late in life. His deep, documentary-minded forays into India, San Francisco, Kentucky, and elsewhere find a resonant and emotional kinship with marginalized people and places: black-and-white photographs of a family of sharecroppers and laid-off coal miners that rival in excellence to work by his mentor Walker Evans, as well as participants at gay pride parades in the 1980s, streets-dwellers in Benares, India, hippie drifters in late 1960s Haight-Ashbury, and the diverse world right outside his Brooklyn apartment. Perhaps his most work, his eloquent “Night” series captures lonesome streets, yards, and porches.

Sam Contis, Deep Springs

Sam Contis, photo from Deep Springs (MACK, 2017). Courtesy of the artist and MACK.

In sublime black-and-white photographs that veer between gentleness and grit, Sam Contis’s Deep Springs emerges from a series of trips the photographer made to the experimental, all-male northern California college Deep Springs. There she sought to reckon visual archetypes of the American West and traditional notions of masculinity with the people and close-knit world she encountered: the tangible, physical connections between young men and between the men and the rugged and romantic landscape. These are pictures that deal equally in violence and tenderness.

La Toya Ruby Frazier, And from the Coaltips a Tree Will Rise

La Toya Ruby Frazier, Maria C.’s hands holding a family photograph showing her mother, brother, and herself as a child. Courtesy of Mac’s.

In her acclaimed 2014 book The Notion of Family, LaToya Ruby Frazier portrayed members of her African-American family in moving, classic documentary photographs that viewed their complicated and intertwined relationships to the dying steel mills in Braddock, Pennsylvania, through the lens of environmental and economic racism. What had developed in personal and organic ways translates just as movingly outside her own family and country, too: Recently, Frazier adopted a similar approach in Borinage, a formerly prosperous Belgian mining region that saw its last mine close in 1976. Told in photographs and testimonies Frazier gathered from the former miners and their families, her new book And from the Coaltips a Tree Will Rise is an extensive and trenchant collection of portraits, landscapes, and still lifes.

Rebecca Norris Webb and Alex Webb, Slant Rhymes

Alex Webb, Havana, Cuba from Slant Rhymes. Courtesy of La Fábrica.

The conversation between words and images, and between images and images, is the foundation for artistic collaborators and wife and husband Rebecca Norris Webb and Alex Webb, who drew from nearly 30 years of photographs and travels for their vivid and enigmatic book of color images, Slant Rhymes. The title is an allusion to Emily Dickinson—“Tell all the truth but tell it slant”—and Rebecca Norris Webb, originally a poet, borrowed the idea of half rhymes, “pairings of words that echo each other,” to describe the visual reverberations that accrue in these pictures.

In dual visions of the animal and human worlds on a shared trip to Havana, or palpable resonances between far-flung and seemingly disparate places (a bleak interior window on a rainy evening in the Badlands of South Dakota; women at the Kumbh Mela festival in India, a gathering of 35 million people), the pictures become a correspondence, a love letter even. Asks Rebecca: “Why do I see you more clearly when we’re worlds apart?”

Jack Pierson, Pierson: The Hungry Years

Jack Pierson, Janet and Lynelle, 1990. © Jack Pierson. Courtesy of Damiani.

“The tawdry side of life is celestial,” writes Eileen Myles by way of introduction to Jack Pierson: The Hungry Years, a collection of Pierson’s color photographs from the 1980s, which is both artistically illuminating and as casual as a scrapbook. Shot in his native Massachusetts to his adopted New York City, as well as Florida and elsewhere, the pictures form a seductive, adventurous, and bittersweet travelogue and an aesthetic record of a photographer coming into his own as an artist, and as a gay artist, pulled equally toward lurid abstraction and, as Stephen Shore puts it in the foreword, “the expressionistically real.”

Mary Frey, Reading Raymond Carver

Mary Fray, from the series Reading Raymond Carver. Courtesy of Peperoni Books.

In Reading Raymond Carver, Mary Frey revisits a body of work she began 38 years ago, when she was teaching full-time in graduate school, and pregnant. Shot in early 1980s working-class America, her photographs of family, friends, and strangers in seemingly banal domestic scenes capture unconscious moments of grace—the woman balancing a just-baked pie on mittened fingers, the husband placing a strand of pearls around his wife’s neck. Most revelatory, though, are her pictures of girls, women, and young mothers raising kids, putting on makeup and dressing up in bridal veils, listening deep to Led Zeppelin eight-tracks, and visibly trying out new ways of being. The final text of the book is a poem by Carver, bleak but affirming: “Would I live my life over again?
 Make the same unforgivable mistakes? Yes, given half a chance. Yes.”

Sory Sanlé, Sory Sanlé: Volta Photo 1965–1985

Sory Sanlé, photo from Sory Sanlé - Volta Photo 1965-1985. Courtesy of Reel Art Press.

Sory Sanlé, photo from Sory Sanlé - Volta Photo 1965-1985. Courtesy of Reel Art Press.

Like his Malian neighbor Malick Sidibé, Sory Sanlé was a photographer of and for the people, making portraits in a local studio in his native Upper Volta (the country now known as Burkina Faso) where, also like Sidibé, he encountered an uncommon number of incredibly stylish subjects, many of them dressing in highly original outfits that blended African clothes and Western, brand-conscious influence. When he began photographing around 1960, the country had just gained its independence from France; the black-and-white photographs collected in Sory Sanlé: Volta Photo 1965–1985 are both indelible portraits in their own right and a fascinating visual chronicle of both the evolving styles and dynamic cultural shifts in an underrepresented country.

William Eggleston, Election Eve

Finally, while it would seem disingenuous to categorize anything William Eggleston does these days as being under the radar, this fall, the celebrated pioneer of color photography released his first album of music (Musik, if you’re interested) and the fervor for his collection of synthesizer improvisations threatened to overshadow the arrival of one of his most remarkable portfolios, Election Eve, now out from Steidl in a gloriously beautiful edition. In 1976, when Jimmy Carter was running for president of the United States, Eggleston was asked by a magazine editor to photograph the Southern hometown of the presidential candidate, who was once a peanut farmer. Eggleston, now 78 and resolutely apolitical, did not accept the commission, but visited Plains, Georgia, on his own terms.

The famously at-war-with-the-obvious Eggleston did not photograph the candidate, or his family, or supporters; in fact, scarcely any people appear in these pictures and there is scant indication of the impending election, other than a photograph of a “Let’s Elect Jimmy Carter President” sticker plastered on the bumper of a gold-colored Chrysler. But the impressions made by human beings (particularly the photographer himself) are revelatory, and even in the languor and stillness of seemingly benign settings (parking lots, baseball field bleachers, roadsides, mounds of red Georgia dirt, the exterior of a peanut processing plant), there is a profound sense of anticipation and an elegiac discovery of beauty in the overlooked.

Viewing these pictures anew and many for the first time in 2017, it is impossible not to also see them as lessons, subtle but potent signs in the landscape, pointing to the kinds of things we as a country are still all too apt to miss.

from Artsy News

[stampington]

Somerset Place Editor’s Roundup: 8 Things I Love

Hi everyone, Sarah Donawerth here. Although I am usually creating content for Somerset Place, most people don’t really get to know the person behind the Glimpse Inside posts, art tutorials, and monthly calls and challenges. We’ve decided to roll out a brand-new blog post called “Editor’s Roundup” where the editors of our magazine (and me!) get to share their favorite items, quotes, magazine content, and project ideas. To kick things off, here is my list of 8 things that I love right now:

1 – Traveler’s Art Journaling Kit

I am especially proud of this kit because I designed the kit and test drove it on my trip to Washington D.C. These are the exact items that I carried around in my backpack while wandering the museums and visiting the monuments. When the moment struck and I felt inspired, I would just stop walking and start drawing. I sketched the Washington Monument with the cherry blossom trees blooming around it, I captured the Smithsonian castle in all of its Gothic Revival-glory. I couldn’t be prouder of this kit because it truly is everything that an artist needs to make art while on-the-go — I should know!

  2 – Library of Congress Card Catalog

This has been one of my favorite Shoppe items since before I started working here. It is a box, shaped like a card catalog, that has note cards and envelopes inside. The note cards are printed with the different card catalog files for famous works of literature. For a bookworm and a nerd like me, I was beyond thrilled to find this gem. I have used the cards to write thank you notes to friends, and have even used it to collage a canvas. Each corner of this canvas is using a different card from the box.

  3 – Book Text in Artwork

Since we’ve already established that I am an avid reader and that I geek out about books, it makes sense that I would love the pattern of book text on everything. It took me a while to get over my guilt over murdering a novel, but I always make sure that the book had it coming. I’ve made some of my best artwork ripping up the post-modern, stream-of-consciousness, obscure novels that I was forced to read during my college days (getting my degree in English writing). I took great pleasure in ripping out the pages of these torturously experimental books. I started using it in collage pages, art journal spreads, on canvases, and everywhere I could think of.

I am so obsessed with this versatile materials that I even featured the many ways to use it on Somerset Place with “7 ‘Novel’ Ways to Use Old Books in Your Artwork.”

As you can see, I use a lot of book pages in my artwork and in the projects that I design for The Studio, too.

~Artwork by Sarah Donawerth

In case you’re not ready to kill your books yet and rip out their pages, the Shoppe at Somerset carries a few options for book text.

  4 – This Quote from Where Women Create

~Photo from Sarah Mandell’s studio space, inside Where Women Create Autumn 2017.

“I chose not to pick a single path. I’m currently an interior designer, fiber artist, jewelry designer, entrepreneur, and published author, and that list will probably grow with time. It’s not that I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, it’s that I want to do so many things.” — Sarah Mandell

Have you ever found a quote that sounds like someone else has seen inside your head and pulled out the exact words you’ve always wanted to say? For me, this quote perfectly captures what I want my life to be. As an artist and a creative person, I am not so set in stone with my career path, my hobbies, or even my day-to-day activities. I want to be open to all possibilities and to pursue all of my dreams. If I’ve got a whole life to live, I’ll want to try as many things as possible. My goals are currently to publish a book on creativity, to live in a tiny house, and to own a pair of llamas named Colonel Brandon and Mr. Willoughby (fingers crossed!).

  5 – Art Deco

~Artwork by Christina Molcillo, inside Belle Armoire Summer 2017.

The 1920s must have been a glamorous time. From the jazz to the hand-beaded dresses, the atmosphere was electric and the aesthetic is still beautiful today. This breathtaking wedding dress is by Christina Molcillo and it transports me right back to the Roaring 20’s with its lace and beaded details. Nathalie Kalbach’s Art Deco Wallpaper stencil also harkens back to a bygone era, but it is also super versatile and creates an instant pop of color and texture on any project.

  6 – Old Typewriters

If my obsession with book text wasn’t enough, I also have a great love affair with typewriters. I personally have a robin’s egg blue travel typewriter and a Coronet Electric which I spray painted pink when I was bored one night (more on my love of pink later). In college, I used a typewriter to brainstorm my ideas because there was something very satisfying about not just having the idea, but also punching the keys to bring that idea into existence. Now, I use my travel typewriter for poems, journaling, or whenever I feel like pounding the keys and hearing the rhythmic chick, chick, chick, ding!

~Photograph by Jessica Wolfe, inside Somerset Life Spring 2016.

~Photograph by Johanna Kown, inside Artful Blogging Spring 2017.

  ~Artwork by Erika Lee Sears, inside Artful Blogging Summer 2017.

  7 – The Color Pink

My obsession with the color pink goes back a few years. My sister and I were fighting about who got the pink blanket and who got the purple. At that age, I was mortally opposed to pink because it was too “girly” but I was forced, as the older sister, to acquiesce. I used that pink blanket for years and it grew on me. Every time I looked at it, or anything pink, I felt an immediately lift in my mood. Pink is such a joyful color.

Slowly but surely, pink overtook my life. Soon enough, my favorite blouse was pink, all of my notebooks were pink, and I was hanging handmade pink pennant banners everywhere. I find the color to be soothing, but cheerful. It’s a color obsession that will be with me for life.

Top Row (Left to Right): Priscilla Jones, Gizelle Perry, Somerset Life staff Middle: Toni Roberts, Nicola Taylor, Nina Hurum Bottom: Mischelle Smith, Christen Hammons, Patty Smith

Doesn’t this picture of cute kittens on a pink background make you happy?

~Artwork by Jacquie Wheeler, inside Stuffed Autumn 2015.

  8 – Fruit Slices

With the latest trends of pineapples and watermelons for summer, I am reminded how much I love fruit slices — to eat, to decorate, on artwork, everywhere! My grandmother has been growing oranges and other citrus for over 50 years as a commercial grower. She is now in her 80s and still treks out every morning to tend to her grove of navel orange trees. I have fond memories of spending the weekend at Grandma’s and going outside to pick my own breakfast.

  ~Artwork by Linsey Herrera, inside Mingle Spring 2016.

For me, orange and lemon slices bring back the joys of childhood summers spent playing hid and seek among the orange trees and building a fort out of chicken wire, or playing games in the old, abandoned pigeon coop.

~Artwork by Sarah Donawerth, inside Take Ten Summer 2017.

I love adding orange slices to my artwork as a way of remembering those days. I have also found that diffusing Sweet Orange essential oil always reminds me of freshly squeezed juice in my grandmother’s kitchen.

What are your favorite things? Leave a comment below!

Sarah Donawerth is the Social Media Accounts Manager for Stampington & Company and the editor for Somerset Place.

The post Somerset Place Editor’s Roundup: 8 Things I Love appeared first on Somerset Place: The Official Blog of Stampington & Company.

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[mdancer1113]

1 through 100

Thank you for asking lovely, I’m sorry this took me a while to answer.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?More cereal then milk, I can’t stand soggy cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?I love it so much

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Well right now I’m using an equality sticker

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?Coffee, two sweeteners and a little almond milk. Tea, two sweeteners.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Very

6: do you keep plants?Sadly no

7: do you name your plants?I probably would if I had any

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?I guess dance

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Definitely yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?A mix of side and stomach

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?FISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

12: what’s your favorite planet?Neptune

13: what’s something that made you smile today?Seeing one of my best friends that I haven’t seen in a long time

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Depends on the friend but anyway it would probably be a mess lol

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!The Martian day is 24 hours 39 minutes and 35 seconds.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?I like alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I either want to dye it blue again or silver

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I can’t think of anything right now but if I do I will add it

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?Kind of? I have a few notebooks that I write quotes in

20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green or gray

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.I don’t really have one

22: are you a morning person?Depends on the morning

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Watch netflix

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yep

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I’ve never broken in anywhere

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?My old black high top converse (they are literally falling apart I’ve had them so long and wear them so much)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Spearmint

28: sunrise or sunset?Both

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Okay I love socks, I don’t sleep in them but I have a ton of them and I really love them

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.We just talk about everything in the world, I honestly can’t think of anything specific right now

33: what’s your fave pastry?Almond croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I’ve never really had a stuffed animal that I loved a lot, I have a pillow that I’ve had for as long as I can remember and still sleep with now

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I don’t really, it’s just not my thing

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Maybe Imagine Dragons? I don’t really know honestly lol

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I would like to keep it clean but that doesn’t really happen sadly

38: tell us about your pet peeves!Rude people, people who think they are better than everyone, when people tap their nails on things, I could go on forever

39: what color do you wear the most?Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a necklace that is just like black cord and it has a little vial on it with blue and pink beads in it and it kind of reminds me that it’s okay to not fall within what most people think of gender

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?Girl Mans Up by M E Girard

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I don’t really

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?I don’t think I have ever star gazed with anyone although I would really love to

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I really don’t remember

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?A little yeah

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Mayonnaise

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?It was probably like

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I haven’t bought one in years and I can’t remember what it was

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?Coffee mugs I guess

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Somewhere Only We Know

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Spotify playlists

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?Rocky Horror, yes and I love it so muchHeathers, yes and I love itBeetlejuice, yes and I love itPulp Fiction, I haven’t seen it

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?Probably someone at my last recital

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?I don’t really think I’ve done anything super dramatic to prove a point

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?I just generally love watching people and seeing their little things they do when they love/dislike/completely hate

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Happy and of course

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?My friend Katie would probably be the wine mom and I’d probably be the vodka aunt, because we both don’t take other people’s shit so if we could we’d probably drink a lot

59: what’s your favorite myth?I’ve always been fascinated with the thought of vampires

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I do but I don’t really have any favorites

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I honestly don’t know

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?I’m kind of particular about my books but not my music

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?Yes and I finally saw them today

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Lots of greens and not many flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?Those are the days I love the most

68: what’s winter like where you live?It doesn’t usually get really cold but when it does my state doesn’t know how to handle it so it can be pretty dangerous

69: what are your favorite board games?Monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board?No

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Peppermint

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?Yes definitely

73: what are some of your worst habits?I bite my nails a lot

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.Believes in me, stands by me no matter what, we are not always able to see each other but we know the other is always there, my little theater nerd

75: tell us about your pets!I have a little black poodle named Willie who I have had for as long as I can remember, he is my baby boy I love him more then just about anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?Maybeeeee

77: pink or yellow lemonade?Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Hateclub

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?One year around my birthday I had been listening to the song “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas” a lot so I joked with a friend that that’s what I wanted for my birthday and Christmas was a hippo so she made me a card with a hippo on it and it was adorable

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?Blue and no I didn’t

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.The colour of my favorite chocolate (I don’t know I’m terrible at this kind of thing lol)

82: are/were you good in school?I guess yeah

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?I can’t really think of any

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I am planning many so I’ll only tell you about a couple. I’m planning on getting a lightning bolt behind my ear for my love of Harry Potter and The Flash and I want to get a three pointed crown for one of my favorite drag queens Sasha Valor

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don’t really read any but I keep up to date with some online

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I honestly don’t know

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Heathers, Harry Potter and the philosophers stone, Forest Gump, Rent. to name a few

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Does drag count?

89: are you close to your parents?Not really

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.I’ve found so many cool little places there and it’s almost a place I can escape which is kind of funny seeing as the only reason I go there is for doctors appointments

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?I’m going to California at the end of the summer and I would love to travel to other places but I don’t think I will this year

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?I don’t really like cheese on my pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Right now either up in a bun or pushed back in a hat

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My moms husband and one of my best friends

95: what are your plans for this weekend?Maybe going to see my nephew

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?Procrastinate definitely

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?INFJ-T, Sagittarius, Slytherin

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I’m not supposed to go out in the sun (health reasons) so I don’t think I’ve ever gone hiking I wish I could though

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.Somewhere Only We Know - KeaneNot Today - twenty one pilotsBlackbird - The BeatlesDon’t Stop Me Now - Queen

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?Past because though I haven’t learned everything about myself (and I probably never will) I have figured out a lot more then I had back then and I think I would have hopefully been a lot happier if I had known them what I do now