#i made jesse too tall in the first image

[mychemicalbrromance]

Minecraft yaoi posting in 2024

[casuallyawkardd]

Close Encounters of the Spiderkind Pt III

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Single Mother!Reader

Summary: Miguel and you get the chance to get to know one another better while on a mission

Warnings: fluff, mentions of drug use but nothing crazy, super evil villain watch out, not fluent in Spanish so lemme know if I mess up

A/N: Finally the long awaited next part of the series! Thank you all for being so patient with me and I hope it holds up to expectation 😊 Also I finally made a masterlist for this series!

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

One thing you liked about Nueva York was that you could see the stars at night. In your universe's New York, the lights alone would drown out their natural light, something you missed seeing back in your hometown. But here, they were plain to see, sparkling down on you from the open sunroof. Maybe someone in this universe developed lights that didn't snuff out the natural light of the world, that or maybe the future was less smoggy.

This wasn't the Nueva York you were familiar with, not technically anyway. What had Miguel called it? Earth-928C? It was another version of Miguel's home, one where there were enough differences that they were their own separate universes, but not so much so that it was classified under a different number. Speaking of Miguel..

"Remind me why I was chosen for this mission?" you asked, breaking the silence between you two. The man in question gave you a sideways glance, not looking too happy with your tone.

"Because Jess is already on one with Peter B and she suggested I take you instead," he answered matter-of-factly, nostrils flaring as he let out a huff.

"And...why did Jess have to be the one to come?"

"You know, you ask a lot of questions."

"And you avoid a lot of them," you quipped back, shooting him a half-hearted glare before sighing heavily, arms crossing over your chest. "I get the whole 'mysterious leader' thing, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a little more detail-"

"I needed someone to pose as my date to this event," Miguel cut you off. You awaited further explanation, but the other spider seemed to think that answer would suffice. It certainly explained the given dress code for the mission. Miguel sporting a suit, appearing like a simple black, but was shown to be a deep red when the light hit it just right. His eyes gave you the up and down, as if just now seeing your ensemble for the first time. "You clean up nice."

"A simple 'I like your dress' would work, O'Hara," you huff.

"Fine, I like your dress, happy?" he retorts and you roll your eyes, the compliment not as sincere when you have to pull teeth to get it.

Yet another moment of silence followed as the car drove on, a divider keeping the driver oblivious to the conversation between you two. "What's the mission?" you asked finally, "I know you mentioned something with anomaly capture, but we were in a rush so..."

"Ay dios mío," Miguel pulled up an image on his gizmo. "A variant of Doctor Octavius was detected here," he pointed to the flashing dot on the map, "that building just so happens to be where Alchemax is hosting their annual charity event. Make sense?"

"Mmm," you hum, "and do you expect that they'll just let us walk right in?"

"Of course they will," he said, clicking the hologram away and leaning back against the seat, "the Miguel of this universe still works for Alchemax, he's expected to be there."

"And you plan to pose as yourself in this dimension?" Miguel nods to confirm your thought. "What if the Miguel from this universe comes too?"

"He won't."

"And you know that because..?"

Miguel didn't respond, looking out the window as the car came to a stop. "We're here, let's at least pretend we like each other."

Stepping out, Miguel offered you his arm for you to get out of the car with ease. The building before you was tall, much like the skyscrapers of your universe, only maintaining that futuristic quality most things seemed to possess in Nueva York. The lights you could see from the top floor told you of your destination, all that was left was to make your way inside.

"Why the cameras?" you asked, indicating with a nod of your head to the flashing lights and large crowd around the base of the staircase that led to the entrance.

The sight made Miguel grimace, "Paparazzi," he spat the word, "makes sense, these things usually attract that kind of crowd. Celebrities, billionaires, anyone Alchemax can sucker into funding their projects." His disdain for the company was evident, as to why he had such a deeply rooted hatred for it, you had yet to hear that story. "Come on, let's just go in. Try not to be obvious." Before you could respond, he was already leading the way; his arm linked with yours as the two of you managed to slip inside.

The way up was uneventful, one high tech elevator ride and you were on top of one of the tallest buildings in the city. According to Miguel at least. On the way up, Miguel had shared the plan: lie low and wait, plain and simple. It wasn't like his usual plans, Miguel seeming to prefer getting in and out as quickly as possible, anomaly captured and sent to HQ in the blink of an eye.

"There's too many people," he explained, "one wrong move and this building could come crashing down with everyone inside. Just act natural and let the target reveal itself to us." Just how dangerous was this variant?

You were reluctant, but chose not to argue with his plan, especially once you saw the venue. The event was being held in a ballroom of sorts, designed for events such as this one. The room was large, accented by a stunning silver chandelier. There were tables for guests to sit at on the borders of the room, many already occupied by elite figures chatting away about business and what have you. Horderves and cocktails were being distributed on metal trays that hovered about the room. The room, the people in it, all that you saw combined into a reminder of just how advanced Miguel's universe truly was.

"Miguel?" a man's voice called out, the owner coming through the crowd. He was an older man, tall like the man at your side and equally well dressed, if not more. "Well, isn't this a treat?" There was a teasing tone to his voice, offering a hand that Miguel stiffly shook.

"Mr. Stone," Miguel mused, forcing a smile to maintain the facade, "How are you this evening?"

"Well," Stone replied, looking in your direction, "And who might you be?"

"Oh, just Miguel's date," you tell him, throwing your name out there as well.

Mr. Stone smiled, taking your hand in his, "I doubt something as lovely as you is 'just Miguel's date,'" he said before planting a kiss on the back of your hand. A gesture that made you want to retract your hand immediately, but you kept with the pleasantries.

"Well...I'm-"

"My girlfriend," Miguel interjected, pulling the unwanted attention off of you.

"Girlfriend?" Stone seemed surprised by the bit of information. "Didn't know you had one. Thought you were becoming a sort of recluse."

Miguel just shrugged, despite the comment seeming backhanded, an insult hidden behind a pearly white smile. "Well I have to get out sometimes," was all he said and Mr. Stone nodded slowly in acknowledgment.

"You should spend some of that time coming into the lab. I'm sure your team's been missing you."

"I'll think about it." Before the older man could continue, Miguel placed a hand on the small of your back, gently pushing you forward and through the crowd, finding solace at an empty table.

"You know him?" you dared to ask, based on the sour expression marring Miguel's features.

"Tyler Stone," was all he said, huffing in annoyance, "He's in my universe as well, or I suppose was. This version doesn't seem to be as much of an entitled prick at least."

"Oh," was all you had to say, glancing around the party. Whoever this Stone person was, he seemed to have struck a nerve in Miguel, making him more irritable than usual. Something you didn't plan to tolerate all evening. "Miguel?"

"Mmm."

"Why the hell is everyone in every version of your universe so damn tall?"

Miguel paused, looking around confused before looking back at you, "I'm sorry?"

"I mean really, I've looked this room up and down and I'm pretty sure I'm the shortest one here. What's the average height, six foot three?"

He hummed in amusement, "Six foot one for women."

"Nuh uh."

"And six foot six for men."

"What the hell!?" you guffawed, your dramatics making a small smile appear on your partners lips. "What are they feeding you in the future?"

"Dunno, better food?" he shrugged, sitting back in his chair, posture more relaxed than it had been. "Anti-gravity tech is more normalized in my universe too. It's been proven to have an effect on the development of kids."

"And you know that because..?"

"Did a report on it in middle school."

"Of course you did."

"Keep the snide remarks to yourself," his tone hardened for a moment and you wondered if your attempt at lightening the mood had struck a nerve, but he continued on. "You know, I'm sure Vada could benefit from some anti-gravity therapy."

"Hey, my little lady is perfect at the size she is," you warned, the smile on your face keeping the conversation light hearted. "Plus, I want to savor her being small for as long as I can."

Miguel chuckled, "Ain't that the truth."

The air around you two seemed to shift with that little comment, your smile slowly fading in sync with his. You felt like you should say something, break the ice once more to relieve the somber air. "Miguel, I-"

"Es suficiente," he interjected, rising from his seat and adjusting his suit. "We need to stay focused. Start searching for the target, let's get a move on."

Complying, you rose to your feet as well, stopping after taking the first step to follow. "...No."

Miguel froze at the single syllable, turning to look at you over his shoulder, "What was that?"

"No," you repeated, his eyes now narrowing at you. "You were the one who said we needed to lay low, right?"

"...Yes, but-"

"Well," you interrupted and his jaw set in annoyance, "then we should take advantage of where we're at. Enjoy the party and all, yeah?"

"That's not-"

"If you need to get a hold of me, just call me on the gizmo."

"No, Y/N, we need to stick together," Miguel reached out to stop you, but you were already walking off, a platter of bruschetta catching your eye. Miguel let out a deep breath through his nose, "The anomaly could be anywhere, it's dangerous to be on your own."

"I'm not alone, I have you," you called back to him playfully, trying not to laugh at just how peeved he looked. "Let loose O'Hara, don't be such a stick in the mud. Is that whole wall an aquarium?"

You never knew rubbing elbows with the elite could be so...enjoyable. It seemed many found your conversation refreshing, a change of pace from the usual, high society vernacular. It helped that they had expensive taste as well. The food was immaculate and you regretted not bringing something to stash away extra. Something Vada could have tried when you got home.

Speaking of your little one, she had managed to get a hold of you through Lyla. You had been hesitant to let an AI watch over your daughter, but considering she looked to be in one piece, it looked like this little experiment worked out just fine. Vada was even ready for bed, hair washed and wearing fresh pajamas. The call was to simply say goodnight, you promising to tuck her in when you got home.

"Tell Miggy I said goodnight, too," your toddler demanded, making you laugh.

"I will. Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Mama."

As soon as you hung up, the group you had found yourself in was bombarding you with questions. 'You have a daughter? How old is she? Sounds like she misses her mother, huh? Why didn't you bring her tonight? Who's her father, maybe we know him? Is it Miguel?'

"Oh no, nothing like that," you had to chime in, waving your hands defensively, "I had her with my ex, she's too young to come to something like this." When they pressed for more information, particularly about Vada's father, you provided some dodgy answers before making the executive decision to excuse yourself.

The balcony seemed to be the place most people were going to get a moment of peace. It was dimmer, the only light coming from the windows looking into the ballroom. Some were having a smoke break, while others used the fresh air to keep the alcohol in their stomachs. Miguel was among them, neither drunk or smoking, leaning against the balcony on his own.

"This doesn't seem like the place to find a Doc Ock anomaly," you teased, coming to stand beside him.

He acknowledged you with a sideways glance before looking back at the city below. "Didn't get the chance to investigate much. Too many people trying to talk to me."

"Oh no, whatever will you do?"

"You're hilarious," he matched your sarcastic tone with his own.

"It must be nice though, people seem to like you a lot here. Or.. I guess the Miguel of this universe, at least." You looked over at him, debating your next words. "Miguel, how did you know he wouldn't be coming tonight?" You could see his jaw set, eyes now purposely avoiding yours. It was frustrating to say the least. "Come on, Miguel. Why can't you just tell me?"

"It's none of your business, that's why."

"Oh, but it's yours? Cuz it's you in another dimension? Tell me, when do I get to know the 'business' of every other version of me?"

"You know what? I'm getting real sick of-" Miguel whipped to the side to face you, his shoulder bumping yours and you stumbled to catch yourself. That seemed to give him pause, Miguel going quiet once more as the two of you now stared at each other. You were trying to understand what was going through his head, but his expression was as hard to read as ever. Blinking slowly, he let out a heavy sigh, going back to leaning against the railing. "It's just personal, alright? The Miguel of this universe and I have... a lot in common."

You didn't say anything, not sure what you would say anyway. Leaning forward on the railing, your eyes focused on your fidgeting hands, looking up when Miguel continued. "He's addicted to Rapture, a disgusting drug that Alchemax developed, just like I was," reluctantly his eyes met yours, gaze softer than it had been before. "except I succeeded where he will inevitably fail. He'll perform an experiment to get rid of the addiction, but it'll backfire. He'll be dead by the end of the week."

"Oh, Miguel, I.. I'm sorry to hear that," you placed a sympathetic hand on his forearm. You bit your lip in thought, unsure what to say under these circumstances "That must be hard, knowing a version of yourself is going to... you know."

Miguel just shrugged off your touch, "It wouldn't be the first time," he replied, you frowning at how quickly he brushed it off.

"Still, I'm sorry," you repeated, Miguel only humming to show he heard you. The two of you didn't say much after that, but it wasn't awkward like the other periods of silence between you tonight. There was tension, but time seemed to help melt it away. It began to feel almost natural, the kind of quiet you were used to sharing with a select few people. The breeze came in, cool against your skin, save for the part of you that pressed against Miguel's side, welcoming the warmth he had to give. "Hey," you said, "this might be a bad time to bring it up, but Vada did want to tell you goodnight."

A puff of air escaped his lips, making a 'tch' sound, shoulders shifting in a mute laugh. "Did she now? Well that's awfully generous of her." Miguel savored the sights of the city a moment longer, letting your news sink in before pushing off the railing, standing to his full height. "Come on, we should head back in. We still have a mission to finish."

"Right," you agreed, following after him. You had forgotten how bright the ballroom was, squinting at the brightness invading your vision. After that, it was back to the mission. This time you stuck close to Miguel's side, there to diffuse the small talk as politely as possible while he continued to search the room.

"The anomaly is in this room, stay on the alert."

You nodded at his instruction, eyes peeled for any guests who might be glitching in and out of reality. However, your attention was limited, eyes drawn to the aquarium you had seen earlier. It truly was a sight to behold, Miguel had pulled you away before you got the chance to get a good look. Twenty feet in height and a blue that was equally unnatural and alluring. Decorated to perfection, because of course it was, with well placed rocks that had corals of various colors and shapes sprouting between them. The fish were just as diverse, shapes and colors that glided about the water. Some you had never seen before, while others were a familiar sight. A pair of clownfish nestling into some anemone, a whale shark swimming above the reef, an octopus with a monocle and- Wait a minute.

"Miguel," you patted his arm to get his attention, pointing at the discovery. Your eyes had not deceived you, there was indeed an octopus, sporting a monocle that was reminiscent of a cyberpunk style, the glowing green eye within darting around suspiciously. Upon second glance, you saw that this octopus also sported two mechanical tentacles, the style matching the device over its eye.

"You've got to be kidding me," Miguel groaned, "this was a high threat alert." As if to answer his question, the creature glitched, startling a school of fish that then scattered about the tank.

"Yeah, real threatening, he might take over the entire aquarium."

"Can it, let's just get the thing and- what are you doing?"

"Hold on, I want to take a picture. Vada's gonna get a kick out of this."

Tags: @l0sert0wn​ @deputy-videogamer​ @arctic4life​ @sasaleleselfships​ @autismsupermusicalassassin​ @snert-bees @qundadedingle11 @uniquelyabnormallyoriginal @fangirlreice7 @mouse-teagreat @andr3wgarfieldsupremacist @yellieeeee @thesrtuggleisveryreal @escherichiacolli @sweeteaacorner @marvelouslovely-barnes @meeom @candlewitch-cryptic​ @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap @melovetitties @ilovemycat6808 @vegas-writing-den @pippethealien @shibble @mommyhange1 @chiikasevennn @pokhouu @jenniferdixon05207 @m0sscr3ates @momos-peaches @insanelycrazyanddelusional @miggyoharaswife @justtnat @imliquidesmooth @thedevillovesflowers @mvc2019   @starrynightnight @risinglightmoon @charming4u @whitetearx @blueparadisecollection16s @idontknowwhatimgoinghere @ziyahshinez @migueloharaslxt @obi-mom-kenobi​ @allysunny​ @viriexo @futuristicpandakid ​ @louderfortheback @tomhollandisabae @itzsab @blue-pears-blog @geraskier-thots @saintskully @johnny-pie @keenzinemugstudent @rizahawkeye1380 @realalpacorn @prettylittlebrowngirl​ @leahnicole1219​ @i-feel-violated @fandom-ash @graysonshaven @qiaipia @3zae-zae3 @melovetitties @marcswife21 @the-silvercrow @erissco @stqrlightrs

[anachronistic-falsehood]

WHISKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need ur thoughts & notes on visual appearances for all of the greats!!! what do they all look like out of costume & what r their costumes & vibes like & everything................ wgat would u want to see in art of them etc......... for no particular reason........... kicks clip studio paint under my desk.........

HIIIII HIHIHHIHIIII <3 omgg ok. alright. ok this is gonna get long i am SO SORRY in advance my ass is gonna RAMBLE

STRIDER!!! i have a very clear image in my head of him ok. short king. like 5'2. dark skin, lots of scars from various incidents, keeps his hair in cornrows bc he does not want it to be loose and long bc during his trigger event it was grabbed and pulled a lot while he was getting beat up!!! briefly debated cutting it all off but he did just start growing it out after being made to keep it short in foster homes and he doesn't wanna reset that progress ANYWAY after joining the greats he usually still wears hoodies and jeans, but now he's finally got a little bit of Spending Money so he wears some techwear stuff sometimes, and he might throw on some simple jewelry like thin chain necklaces and the occasional ring or two. no piercings tho, does not want things people could yank out of his skin!!!! the simple jewelry does make him feel like he actually stands out a lil bit more. also V IMPORTANT he finally gets some fucking mobility aids after joining the greats!! he wears a knee brace on his right leg sometimes and he also has one of those sword canes!!! it's got a poignard dagger hidden in it!!! his hero costume is like. fantasy rogue shit. black cloak with a hood, scarf over his lower face, and he wears combat boots EVERYWHERE no he doesn't care if they dont go with his outfit GRAYSON, they're good fucking boots and they're COMFORTABLE dammit!!! may occasionally wear platforms. he likes 2 feel tall

grayson!!! honestly i feel like i'm doing him so dirty w the image of him in my head bc he's a tiefling in canon but here he's just a basic fucking white guy. basic as shit kind of nerdy looking white guy. there's practically nothing to work with in canon for grayson all we know if that he's described as stoic so i'm taking that as hes autistic as hell and doesn't know how to fucking Talk to people. nerdy ass white boy obsessed with medieval shit!!! he's got curly brown hair and has glasses and wears like button ups and shit like that. his costume is a full suit of armor with dragon motifs and he fights with a two sided polearm!!! i have decided tho i would like him 2 have some vaguely inhuman traits??? idk how traits like that work in worm yet tho, like idk if it's a cauldron case 53 specific thing??? i don't think it is but PLS correct me if im wrong!!! i just want him 2 have tiny horns or maybe other small tiefling traits like a tail or something if that is in any way possible without him being a case 53. just as a Nod to what he is in canon bc if i just make him a white boy with no inhuman traits whatsoever i would be like That's Not Grayson who tf is this cracker!!!

RAM MY BELOVED. ok. this guy is straight up jesse mccree. idc that mccree's name has changed i haven't been invested in overwatch in a while but anyway ram just straight up looks like jesse mccree 2 me im SORRY!! like. he is not Muscular like mccree is, he was def skinnier in college and then after joining the greats he put on some weight that he def needed. he's latino, he's from texas, he's got that mccree haircut and scruffy facial hair, he wears cowboy boots and jeans and plaid shirts and OFC a cowboy hat!!! sometimes wears sunglasses when his extreme perception is Too Much for him. he's got a couple tattoos prbably, just random shit he got in college that he thought would look cool, like skulls or knives or some shit. his hero costume is kind of like in canon where he wears a poncho and cowboy hat and all that western shit, but he also wears a bandanna over his lower face. basically when he first joined the greats he was a skinny mexican/texan college kid with Trauma and Depression and a really bad vyncent sol style soul patch and then he got better and turned into a bear <3

min ily!!! she's a halfling in canon and i cannot imagine her as anything but Short As Fuck. like under 5 ft. like 4'6 or somewhere in that range. LITERALLY so fucking tiny!!!! squish her like a bug!!!! i always imagined her in canon with sailor moon ass purple pigtails so i think she's got purple hair. maybe she's the reason virion dyed his idk idk!!!! out of costume she dresses like she shops at claire's tbh. mabel pines but grown up. silly shaped earrings and pants with rhinestones on them and silly graphic tshirts and comfy cardigans!! girl WHAT are you even wearing!!! in costume she is SO different though. she has been underestimated bc of her appearance so she wants to make sure people know she is Not To Be Fucked With. i am so bad at cape costume design so idk exactly what it would look like but im picturing like. black bodysuit with bright blue spiky armor that looks like ice over the vitals, the arms and legs of the bodysuit are cut off to leave them bare because she's transforming her limbs into water and ice in battle more often than not, and her head is wreathed in ice to cover her face and hair. she WILL change her legs into tall ass ice spikes and walk around towering over everyone with her featureless spiky ice head. horrifying thing to see coming at u!!! like slenderman but elsa flavoured

GOD im sorry this is so long. jesus. anyway chungus!!! im changing his name btw his name is gus and chungus was just a shitty mean nickname he was given in school. i CANNOT take his ass seriously with a name like chungus so im changing it. anyway!! u thought ram was a bear??? well chungus is like. a fucking BEAR. ram is like a cub and gus is a Real Bear. Large Hairy Man!!! genuinely fucking huge. tall as hell too. u know hafthor bjornsson?? that fucking guy but fatter and hairier probably. he's like over 6ft. has long hair that he keeps pulled back. sometimes he lets min or virion braid it <3 doesn't rly care about fashion!!! lots of athletic wear!!! in costume he wears a lot of dnd barabarian type shit. always shirtless. wears small pieces of armor like shoulder guards and stuff just for aesthetic reasons but doesn't fucking listen to grayson when grayson's like PLEASE wear some proper armor to protect your vitals shoulder guards aren't gonna do shit!! put on a shirt at least!!! and u know those art pieces of ctechnoblade with the pig skull over his face??? gus wears a skull as his mask!! not sure what kind of skull yet. idk. boar maybe so he's got tusks. sick as hell

points at alphonz. white boy. whitest of white boys you have ever seen. before his trigger event he was like. blond prettyboy. good little catholic boy <3 button ups and khakis and nice shoes. and then he went thru The Horrors!! he let his hair grow out after joining the greats but he doesn't really like. maintain it well. min often brushes it for him bc shes the only one who can get close to him in his super bright super heated breaker state. that's not even important 2 his appearance but its important 2 me that you know that. ANYWAY he puts on some muscle after joining the greats and doing physical training with gus!! also doesn't really care about what he wears anymore so it's a lot of like. wearing whatever someone else has left lying around. strider's graphic tees and gus' huge sweaters and grayson's button ups. likes wrapping himself up in ram's poncho and sleeping on the couch. would wear min's cardigans if they weren't too small to fit him but he does wear her jewelry sometimes. he doesn't really. have much of his own. and doesn't really want to get things of his own because it could all be wiped away in a second if another endbringer attacks. yk. GOD IM SORRY IM RAMBLING JESUS his costume is full paladin armor. elaborate as shit with like a cloak and stuff. grayson had a lot of fun making it for him it was like an art project <3 in his breaker state his entire body looks like it's made of light. glowing like a christmas tree!! and ofc yk he's got wings made of light in his breaker state. that simurgh shit stuck w him!!!

ANYWAY. yeah. tbh they all share clothes a lot. gus can't rly borrow anyone else's clothes bc he's the biggest and this saddens him but to rectify this sometimes the others will purposely buy very oversized stuff to wear as pyjamas so he can steal it and wear it. min can and will steal everyone's shit because she's the smallest. she's got a hoard of sweaters and shirts in her room and she only gives them back when she wants to steal something else. they're family your honour

[ellies-little-thing]

Life goes on (e.w.) part 4

*not my images, but i edited it

My masterlist <3

pairing: young!ellie/young!reader

Warnings: fluf; reader is referred to as she/her; mentions of trauma; angst; just cute best friend stuff really; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This was a request but im having a blast writing it! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!  Only one more part to come!

word count: 7.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

17 years old - Part 4

A year later you were able to forget about that awkward night and go back to being normal best friends. There still was a bit of a weird atmosphere around you two but you both tried to forget about it. Ellie started to talk to a girl and she grew to like her a lot. They dated for a while. Her name was Cat and she was the one who made her tattoo on her right forearm to cover her chemical burn. She was pretty. Tall, with beautiful black hair and brown eyes, and on top of that, she was an amazing artist. You understood why Ellie liked her. You were happy for Ellie, truly. She looked happy and really in love. But you were also jealous of the time Cat took away for you and Ellie to hang out. You missed her during that time. But you started to not care as much, as the time passed. Ellie didn't seem to want to be with you as much. She started to make up excuses, stopped walking home  with you after school, stopped sitting next to you in class and with Cat instead. You started feeling alone, but a girl sat next to you after some time, she was nice to you and you started doing your projects together.

You and Ellie started to hang out 2 to 3 times a week tops, after she got into her relationship. But with time it became less, until she stopped coming to your house all together. You only saw her at school and never said more than a simple “hi” or a nod when you looked at each other. She would hang out with Cat and her group of friends, and didn't have time for you anymore. She started smoking and drinking on the weekends without the adults knowing. She seemed happy and like she was having a nice time without you. So you tried to move on, just like she did.

You too started seeing a boy your age from school, named Jesse, tall with black hair and a nice smile, but it didn't last very long. He was really nice, but he wasn't Ellie. He took you out on dates, treated you well, gave you gifts, made you feel loved, but you felt like you couldn't reciprocate the feeling even if you tried really hard. You and him stayed friends, with no hard feelings. He was a really nice person and you were glad he understood. He still made sure to see if you were doing alright from time to time. You had told him how close you and Ellie were, and he truly cared about you. He felt sad for you, because of Ellie's behavior towards you. You were glad he stayed your friend after the two months you had been together. He was your first kiss but nothing more than that.

Ellie felt like you were never going to like her like she liked you so she tried to move on. She liked Cat and Cat liked her. But Cat wasn't you. No one compares to you in Ellie's eyes. She thought her feelings for you would eventually pass but they didn't. She stopped hanging out with you because it hurt her everytime she saw you and you two pretended like nothing happened. As time passed she stopped talking to you after she met Cat. She was Ellie's first girlfriend, her first kiss and other firsts. But she wasn't a good influence for Ellie. They started getting into trouble for smoking and drinking without permission. She started to skip class some days and her grades went downhill. She tried to look confident on the outside but she was sad. She missed your voice, your laugh, your smile, the days you spent playing video games together, talking to you. But she felt like she couldn't go back, she was too far gone. And when she saw you out with Jesse, she went crazy. She felt nauseous when she saw him kissing you or simply hugging. She should be the one touching you, not him. She should be the one to kiss your lips every day, not him. The jealousy drove her insane, to the point she stopped giving Cat any attention. One day Cat got tired of it and left her. Ellie felt so alone after that, she had lost Cat, but most importantly, she had lost you. She knew she had wronged you by stopping to spend time with you, by stopping talking to you. She was so mad at herself. She started going into a depressive state after a few months.

Every night you just stared at the wall in your bedroom still covered in Ellie's sketches. You just remembered all the good times you two had shared, but now you don't even talk to each other. You can't even really say why that happened. Ellie never really talked to you about that ever. But Ellie was happy with Cat, or so you thought. You met a girl in your class named Dina at school and she was really nice. You started hanging out and talking about boys and stuff. After a few weeks you became friends, but it wasn't the same thing you had with Ellie. Dina was very funny and very pleasant to be with. She was nice to talk to and cared for you like you cared for her. When you stopped dating Jesse, him and Dina started talking and you felt really happy for them, but then again, you were left alone. They were still your friends but they didn't have much time for you anymore and you got it.

You felt sad all the time. You'd just stare at the wall behind your desk adorned with her sketches and a few polaroid photos of you two. You still had a comic book she had lent you, it was the Spider-Man one you and her had found all those years ago. You could still hear her silly voices and her laughs as you read it, time and time again. It was so much simpler back then. If you closed your eyes you could even hear the birds singing around you and see the view from that bench.

One day Ellie was in her garage, turned studio/home, and Joel went over to talk to her. She was drawing you. Again. At this point her desk was covered with your face. “Hey kiddo, you alright?” He asked after knocking gently at her door and entering. Ellie wasn't really taking care of herself very well lately. “Hi Joel, yeah, I'm fine…” She looked down at her sketch book and closed it. She then turned to Joel in her desk chair. “Well, you don't seem fine kid, you haven't been eating anything. What's going on in that head of yours?” Ellie sighed, she knew she wasn't well, but she hadn't told Joel she was into girls yet, even though he suspected it already. “I think I just miss Y/N… haven't talked to her in ages…or seen her really…”Joel knew you two were very close, you used to be inseparable. ”Why don't you try to talk to her? I bet she misses you too.” He gave her a soft smile. He remembered all those times you came over and all the laughs he heard coming from her room upstairs. He started to grow fond of you too, after all, you were his baby girl’s best and only friend for a long time. “Thanks Joel, I'll think about it.” She responded without looking at him. He knew that by the tone of her voice that she wanted to be left alone. He got up and gave her a light kiss on the forehead before they said their goodnights. 

Ellie got up from her desk and laid on her bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about you. When she tried to sleep she hugged the dino plushie you had found and gave to her on her first christmas after she arrived. It still smelled like you somehow and it helped her fall asleep. You were in your own bed looking at that one drawing she had given you as a surprise. It was almost like a picture of you, and a tear fell down your face as you fell asleep thinking of that day. You wish you could go back in time.

A few weeks passed since Cat dumped Ellie and she just missed you so much that she wanted to get into your house and hug you, but she knew she couldn't. She passed by your house everyday to get to school after all. A few months passed and you didn't have school anymore. You had finished with high grades and with honors, your parents were very proud. After that, you spent most of your time at home or completing your training for going on patrols as soon as you turned 18 and could take your final test. You tried to not think about Ellie anymore. You were starting to take down her drawings from the wall and store them into a box. But once you touched that one she spent so many hours making, you couldn't bring yourself to take it down. Next to it was a polaroid of you together smiling when you were 15. Tears started falling from your eyes as you continued to look at it. You decided to put it in the box. You couldn't bear looking at her face any longer. It hurt too much.

That year Ellie learnt what Joel had actually done in the hospital that day. She couldn't believe he took that choice from her. She could have saved the world. She wanted to save the world. She confronted Joel and asked him the truth. After he told her everything, she couldn't take it anymore. She stopped talking to Joel, ignoring his existence entirely. She entered a mental breakdown and lost herself completely. The only people that really knew the truth were her, Joel, Tommy and Maria. No one else ever knew she was immune. Not even you. As much as she wanted to tell you she couldn't. She thought she had no purpose and never felt so alone. Her worst fear. Ending up alone.

Ellie was also completing her training and her birthday was around the corner since it was June. She still remembers the 3 day trip she and Joel had made when she turned 16, so he could take her to a history museum. She remembered it with a pain in her heart, she loved Joel so much. She missed him too but wasn't able to forgive him. That day she saw loads of dinosaur fossils and knew the name of all of them, she still does. But the best part was the space shuttle and the tape Joel managed to get of a rocket ship left off. She felt like she went to the moon that day. When she came back to earth she remembered you again. Remembered everything. She woke up and was hit by reality. A reality where you and Joel were no more. And part of it was her fault, and she knew it. 

Summer was really making itself felt that day. The summer in Wyoming always had been beautiful but it was unbearably hot as well. You decided to leave the house and get some fresh air. You left with your favorite book in hand and started walking to the town's park. You were wearing a blue sundress as you sat down under a tree in the town's park and took advantage of the shade. As you sat down you started reading your book. The pages were turning yellow and faded from how many times you had read it already. 

Ellie got up from bed slowly and she sat on the edge of it, gathering the strength to actually stand up. She looked at the drawings she had made of you that were on her desk. She missed you so much that she was starting to forget your features and her sketches started to become messy and unfinished versions of you. Versions she couldn't bring herself to finish. That day she decided to go out, she hadn't left her home in ages and it was starting to get to her. Next to her sketches was Joel's guitar. She felt like smashing it to pieces but it wouldn't help with anything really. She put on some old t-shirt of hers and some shorts and went for a walk with her backpack. It was really sunny and hot outside, so she decided to go somewhere with a nice shade and relax for a bit. 

Everyone around you was so happy, kids playing and laughing, adults having a good time and relaxing. This time of year they would turn on the park's fountain so people could get a break from the heat, but it was mostly kids that used it as a pool. Ellie had had the same idea as you and noticed you sitting down from where she was sitting with her sketchpad in hand. You didn't notice her so she felt relieved and she knew you wouldn't look away from that book anytime soon. She knew it was your favorite. She started to draw you in your beautiful blue dress that hugged you just right. She almost cried when she saw you. She just missed you so much. She finally saw your face and was able to finish her drawing after so many failed attempts. She was so happy to see you, even if you didn't see her.

After about an hour she mustered the courage to get up and walk up to you and finally try to make things right. She was just wearing an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts and her black converse of course. You could take a lot of things from her, but those sneakers? Only over her dead body. She took a deep breath and walked over to where you were. You didn't notice her at first, you were really concentrated on your book but then you felt like someone was looking at you. As you took your nose off of your book for a second, you were greeted by Ellie. She stood in front of you. She was trying to say something  but she was really nervous. She managed to let out a “Hey” after a few seconds.

“Hi.” You said quietly, going back to your book. You didn't know how to react to this, to her. Ellie took another deep breath before she spoke again. “Can I sit with you?...” She asked, getting the feeling you were going to say no. You were a bit hurt by Ellie but you missed her a lot too. “Sure.” You said, not taking your eyes from those old worn out pages. She looked quite surprised when you actually said yes. She shook her head and came back to earth. She sat down next to you, not too close but not too far either. You waited for her to initiate the conversation.

“So… it's been a while, hum?...” She said with a trembling voice as she looked at the ground.

“Yeah, almost half a year.” You respond in a stiff tone, still looking at your book. The guilt hit her like a bullet. She felt so bad for hurting you, she just wanted things to go back to how they were before. She took another deep breath as she said, “I’m so sorry… I'm so sorry for stopping hanging out and talking to you…” She said in a soft and sad tone. You closed your book and put it to the side, still not being able to look at her. “I know I hurt you… I'm so sorry…” The tears were forming in her eyes.

After a minute or two of silence you finally spoke. “Why did you do it? Why did you stop talking to me? What did I do wrong?” You asked not in an angry voice but a sad one. Ellie didn't have any good reason for what she did and she didn't know what to say. “I thought we were friends…” You said and Ellie could feel the hurt in your voice.

“Y/N, i'm so sorry… I don't have any good reason for what I did. After that day I just felt like you didn't like me anymore…” She started to cry. “Then I met Cat and she didn't reject me. I'm not saying you did, but it was different.” You listened as she spoke. “I felt like I ruined everything after telling you how I felt…”  You thought for a second as you took in her words. “I didn't mind you getting a girlfriend, I just didnt understand why you stopped wanting to hang out.” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie took a minute to answer, she had to think hard about what to say next, she didn't want to hurt you more than she already did. “ I guess I felt like you didn't need me and you'd be better off without me. Every time I saw you you looked happy. Then you started seeing Jesse and I felt like I had no place in your life anymore.” You could hear how nervous she was, talking about this to you. Her hands were actually shaking.

“And how did you think I felt when you started saying no to our hang outs?” You say, starting to cry. “Everytime you said you couldn't because Cat this and Cat that… Everytime you ignored me or just pretended you didn't see me?” Ellie felt really bad for what she did to you, she hadn't realized how much she had actually hurt you. She turned to face you. “I'm sorry, I know that no matter how many times I say it it will feel like it's never enough, but I am really sorry and I regret what I did to you.” She reaches to hold your hand. You were a bit startled by her touch but you let her hold your hand. “I still feel the same about you and I'm not scared anymore to say that I love you. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way but I can't lose you. Without you I lose myself.” She spoke as she held your hand and looked at your face. You were crying, you couldn't keep it in anymore. “You never really gave me the chance to tell you how I felt, you just ran away…” You said looking up at her face. “Please don't cry, I hate to see you cry.. .” She wipes your tears away with her thumbs as she held your face. “I'll never leave you again, never push you away, never dismiss you. I'm here for you, if you'll have me…” She was being as honest as she could, she doesn't want you to be out of her life, she needs you.

“Do you promise?” You ask, looking at her still crying. “I promise. I promise I'll never leave you again.” She hugs you as she starts crying as well. You hug her back. You missed her so much. The rest of the world disappeared once she held you in her arms. After that, you sat next to each other, you leaned your head on her shoulder and she leaned her head on yours. You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed each other's presence as you held hands.

Ellie and you started hanging out together again. You were friends again. And if that was all that it was ever going to be, Ellie was okay with it, as long as she never lost you. You felt so happy with her back in your life again. You didn't feel alone anymore. You saw each other every day, and made up for lost time. You felt like you were kids again, just like when you met at 14. Ellie had never been happier. You put up those drawings of her back on your wall and it didn't hurt anymore.

A couple of months later you and Ellie were inseparable. None of you started seeing other people yet. Ellie was just happy to have you in her life again and she didn't want to think about anyone else. To her you were just as important as air to breathe for her to be able to live. But you, you always liked Ellie and those months apart only made you realize how much she really means to you. You loved her like you've never loved anyone else. It felt like you were soulmates, meant to be together. You two were still just friends but who knows what the future could hold.

It was still Summer and you two went out to have some fun. It was a particularly hot day so you and Ellie went to the river, to spend the day and cool down. You had brought food and drinks as well as towels to dry off after going in the water. It was a hot August day and Ellie was wearing a red tank top and some short shorts. You were a couple feet away from Ellie, who is sitting down on the shore of the river. The two of you had been having a good time there all afternoon but you both needed to cool down a little bit. "Hey? We should probably jump into the river now. This heat is getting pretty intense... I'm already sweating a lot here, to be honest!" Ellie says to you as you laid on your towell. You were wearing a white tank top and just your underwear since you didn't have a bathing suit or a bikini.

You get close to her and you push her into the water unexpectedly as you laugh at her shocked face. Ellie is caught off guard and she falls into the water. "Hey! You didn't tell me that you were going to do that!" Ellie splashes some water up at you. " That's it! You're going into the water too!" Ellie gets up, out of the water and walks over to you. She then grabs you by your hips and tries to push you into the water. “Hey! No!” You tried to fight her, you were both laughing. Ellie kept trying to push you into the water though.

"Come on! I want fair play! I push you into the water now like you pushed me! It's only fair!" Ellie still has a hold of your hips and she tries harder to push you into the river. She manages to push you in and she giggles as she lets go of your hips.

"Okay, fair enough. You've won!" You say defeated. "But you know what? I don't mind being pushed into the water... I've been wanting to cool off anyway…" You say trying to look smug. Ellie starts to step into the water and she smiles at you.

"Are you coming in or what? Come on! It's really nice here." You call her to get in the water already. Ellie stands in front of you in the water and you splash her. Ellie gets a little bit surprised as you splashed her. "Hey! What was that for?" Ellie looks at you curiously and you can tell that she's being a little bit playful with you. "If you're going to be mean to me, I'll be mean to you too!" Ellie chuckles and then she splashes you back.

You splash her again as she gets in the water. Ellie giggles as you splash water on her. "Hey, come on! I can play a little dirty game too then!" Ellie looks at you, as if she's trying to decide what she will do. "Oh, I got it! You don't want me to splash you... then what if I do this?" Ellie walks forward and she quickly grabs you and holds you under the water for a few seconds.

“Hey! No fair, you are way taller than me!” You say pushing her away playfully. Ellie smiles as the water drips down your shirt. "Hehe, it's true that I am way taller than you, but that's not an excuse. You should've been expecting something like that to happen." Ellie seems to be really enjoying all this roughhousing with you. "Besides, why do you even care if I get a little bit of water on you?"

Your white tank top is now all wet and see through. You didn't have a bathing suit so you were just in your top and your underwear. Ellie notices that your tank top is wet and slightly transparent now. "Oh, so that's why you cared so much..." Ellie looks at your slightly wet tank top, she can make out your nipples as you try to hide them, in a playful and teasing manner. "I'm sure that not many people would be upset if they saw you wearing a wet and slightly transparent top... it is a good look on you..."

“Stop it!” You blush as she looks at your body so you splash her again. Ellie gets slightly hit by some water as you splash her. "Okay, okay! Fair is fair. We'll call that one even for now." Ellie laughs softly and then she looks at you. "Oh no... your face is a little red. Are you getting embarrassed?" She teases you.

“No! No I'm not!” You deny it. Ellie continues to look at you, as if she's trying to prove that you're embarrassed. "Oh, but your face is still a little red... are you sure that you are not embarrassed?" Ellie seems to be enjoying teasing you about this a little bit.

“No!” You try to find an excuse. “It's just really hot today…”

"Oh, you're right. Maybe that's it... it is a really hot August day in Jackson today. The heat is starting to really get to me too... but then why do I look fine?" Ellie points out to the fact that she doesn't look very hot or bothered by the weather. "I'm not sweating or anything... I don't look like we’re in a very hot day at all... in fact, I look surprisingly great in this heat." She says smugly.

“Shut up!” You splash her again. Ellie chuckles as you splash some more water on her. "Oh, you look so cute when you're getting mad at me!" Ellie smiles warmly as you splash the water on her. "Come now... you're not even going to try to splash more water at me are you?" Ellie doesn't seem like she's annoyed by the water that you're splashing at her. In fact, she seems to be enjoying this game that you and her are playing right now.

You swim away from her a bit, she notices that you're moving away from her so she waves a little bit at you to get your attention. "Hey, where are you going? Are you leaving already? Ellie's tone is somewhat playful and she seems slightly reluctant to let you go.

“Can’t a girl swim a little?” You smile at Ellie as you swim backwards. Ellie smiles and nods at you.

"Of course, of course. You can swim as much as you want. I was being silly just then." Ellie continues to watch you as you swim away from her. "Wait... do you want me to swim with you or something?"

“If you’re not too scared! You big baby!” You tease her, knowing she doesn't like swimming that much, since she only learned it at 16 with Joel. Ellie rolls her eyes at you and she sighs. "Oh, come now,. Give me a little bit of credit, you know? I'm not that much of a big baby or scared... am I?" Ellie's tone is slightly teasing and playful as she talks to you.

“I think you are!” You say, back floating.

"Oh, really? Do you really think I'm scared? I'll show you what scared really means!"

Ellie stands up and then she swims towards you. "There, I'm not scared at all, am I? In fact, it feels really great here and I'm not going to move until you do!" Ellie laughs in a playful manner as she says this and she also seems to be daring you to get closer.

You swim up to her. Ellie smiles at you as you swim towards her. "Oh, you're joining me now? Welcome to the party. It's really nice in here!" Ellie continues to stare at you as you continue to swim towards her. She looks slightly excited that you're joining her in the river.

You splash her again playfully. Ellie laughs a bit as you splash some more water on her. "Hey, I thought you said that I was the baby!" Ellie continues staring at you and it's clear that she's really liking this little battle between the two of you, maybe a little too much. "Hey, if we're playing like this, I get a chance to splash back too!" Ellie splashes some water on you as well.

“Ellie! Stop it!” You say smiling slightly.

"But... you started it!" Ellie continues to splash water at you in a playful manner. "Come on! I thought we were playing... are you telling me that you want to stop playing?" Ellie laughs warmly as she says this. Her tone is friendly and joyful and not serious at all.

You get closer to her. Ellie smiles softly as you do. "You want to come over here? That's okay, I don't mind." Ellie glances at you and she looks slightly confused as to what your intentions might be, behind getting closer to her.

"Hey, what are you doing? Do you need something?" You smile at her as you put your hands on her shoulders looking up at her face. Ellie smiles and she looks down at you with a cheerful expression.

"Hey, what's on your mind? Is everything alright?" Ellie seems to be really enjoying your company right now. "Did you want to tell me something? Or are you just trying to... um... get closer to me?"

You look into her gorgeous green eyes. Ellie stares back at you as she looks into yours for a few moments. "Umm... is... there something that you want to tell me? Or is this something for me to figure out right now?" Ellie smiles softly and she's trying to figure out why you're getting so close to her.

You smile at her playfully. “guess…” You tell her almost in a whisper. Ellie continues to stare back at you as she thinks about what you're trying to say to her. "Umm... is it something about... um... feelings... or... umm..." Ellie seems to be struggling slightly, but she still has a smile on her face. "Are... are you asking if I... umm..."

You put your arms around her neck, but you start getting nervous. Ellie blushes as you wrap your arms around her. "Hey, Y/N?” Ellie is also starting to look a little bit nervous and she doesn't quite know what to say. "Wha... what... um..." Ellie is trying to figure out the right thing to say in this situation.

You just look up at her, blushing. Ellie stares back at you as you continue to look at her. "I... umm..." Ellie sighs and she looks a little puzzled as she tries to figure out a response. "Is there something that you... um... w-want to tell me?" Ellie is fumbling for words and her tone is very nervous and her voice cracks a little bit.

You hold her face with one of your hands. Ellie's face turns a deep shade of red when you grab it and she feels a rush of emotions traveling through her. "Wha, what are you... umm... what... What are you doing...? Wait, what do you want to tell me?" Ellie seems to be both nervous and excited as she looks at you.

You slowly get your face closer to hers, a bit nervous still. Ellie's heart is pounding and she's shaking slightly. She seems really nervous, but she still really likes this moment that she's sharing with you. "I... um... I..." Ellie is speechless and she just looks at you as you draw closer to her face.

You look straight into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you come closer and she can feel your warm breath on her face. "I... umm..." Ellie can no longer muster any words and her heart is beating really fast and her body temperature seems to be rising. You get closer, only centimeters away from her. Ellie is burning hot as you get closer to her face. Her body temperature seems to still be rising and her eyes are locked on yours. "Y/N..." Ellie's voice is soft and she looks like she's about to say something but she's struggling to express it in words.

You blush as you get even closer, biting your lower lip. Ellie's voice is now barely audible. She seems to be blushing a lot and she can't believe that this is happening right now. "Y... y... y... Y/N..." Ellie tries to say her words, but they're now completely lost as tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She covers her face with her hands and her knees go weak. "I... I..."

You back away after seeing her tears. “I'm sorry... are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” You look at her worried. Ellie wipes the tears off of her face and she tries to say something, but she can't seem to speak right now.

"Y/N, I... I..." Ellie takes a deep breath and she looks at you with a tearful smile and a blush on her face. "I always kind of guessed... I knew... I always thought that this might happen... but I never knew when it would... and... umm..." Ellie's sentences are still being broken off, but it's clear that she has something important to say.

You look up at her and wipe her tears away from her face with a warm smile on yours. Ellie stares back at you for a moment as she gathers herself. Her smile continues to remain on her face and her eyes are filled with happy tears as you wipe them away. "Y/N, I... love you... do you hear me?" Ellie sighs and she still can't believe that these words are finally coming out of her mouth. "I've... loved you... for quite a while now... and I never knew what to say... but now I have to say it, you have to hear it... you have to know... I love you,Y/N."

You look at her not knowing what to say. You get closer to her again slowly. Ellie doesn't back away from you as you approach her this time. "You're not scaring me anymore with all of this... in fact, you're making me feel very happy." Ellie smiles warmly at you and the corners of her lips feel the slightest bit tingly.  "I... love you... and I always will..."

You kiss her gently and the whole world disappears. Ellie's face goes red and her cheeks are flushed right away as your lips touch hers. "I... I..." Ellie can't manage to say anything else. She just stares at you and she seems slightly shocked by the kiss. Her breath is getting short and she's smiling brightly and the corners of her lips are still tingly.

"I... umm... I love you... I've always loved you. I... I just didn't know when to tell you... and I always thought that there was some other time to... to..."

You smile at her and kiss her again. After finally having the guts to do it, to finally kiss her, you just want to keep doing it. Ellie's face remains in a bright shade of red and she's still smiling lovingly, back at you. "Y/N... I... umm..." Ellie's breath is still short as she looks at you. "I want to kiss you... I want to kiss you again..." Ellie leans forward toward you and you can feel that her lips are trembling as they're about to touch yours again.

You wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her again. Ellie's face turns even more red and her breath is still short as your arms wrap around her. You can feel the joy and love in her body as you kiss her. Ellie's hands reach up towards you and she wraps them around your waist, holding you close and pulling you tighter towards her body.

You wrap your legs around her hips as you were in the water together. Ellie's body is now really close to yours and she can feel you against her. She always wanted to do this, to feel your body against hers like this. Ellie's face is still a bright shade of red as you wrap your legs around her. Her voice becomes very faint as she speaks again.

"you're... umm... do you know how beautiful you are...? You're gorgeous... I've always wanted to say this to you... but I was always a little bit scared..." Ellie keeps your legs tightly wrapped around her.

“You think I'm beautiful?...” You look up at her as she says this. Ellie continues to hold you tightly and she nods slowly. "Mmm... yes, yes I do. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen... and the most lovely girl I've ever known." Ellie's voice is still very soft and you can feel her body temperature rising again. "I need to tell you something... I..."

“Yes?” You say blushing even more.

"I... I love... you…" Ellie's voice is still soft and her breath is a bit shaky as she says these words. "I love you so much, Y/N... you don't know how much you mean to me..." Ellie then gently strokes the side of your face with her hand as you continue to hold your legs wrapped around her. "You're so precious to me... and I'm so glad that... that I met you... and that you are... are... mine..."

“i... I love you too.... I just never knew how or when to say it…” You confess, but not being able to look into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you and your words warm her heart.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words... I've always wanted to tell you, but I never knew how to say those words either." Ellie then kisses your cheek and as she pulls away slightly, she smiles at you as she touches your face gently again. "The way that you make me feel... I can't really describe it... it's like... like a warm feeling in my heart... and a rush of happiness..."

You hug her. You can't believe this is real. Ellie hugs you tightly back and she can feel your arms around her waist. "I... I've always loved you. but... but I never thought you'd ever feel the same way..."

Ellie closes her eyes and smiles brightly as she continues to embrace you. "I've always wanted to say those words to you... but I was always terrified of how you'd react... but right now... I don't care at all... because right now, I just think that... that you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world..."

You look at her and smile shyly. Ellie looks and smiles brightly back at you. "You look... you look so beautiful when you're smiling like that.. oh my god... I just... I just want to kiss your cheeks… look what you've done to me..." Ellie reaches towards your face and her fingers go to your cheeks.

"You're... you're too... sweet. You're too sweet. You're going to give me diabetes..." Ellie laughs softly.

You chuckle at her joke, she still has her same sense of humor, then you reach up to kiss her. Ellie leans her head down a little bit as she feels your lips on hers again. "I love... I love..." Ellie pauses and it seems like she's trying to tell you something else, but her words keep getting cut off by your kisses. "I... love... I... I..." Ellie's words are completely lost right now as she gets caught up in the moment and she closes her eyes as she focuses all of her attention on your lips.

You kiss for a bit, bodies close to each other. Ellie's hands wrap around your waist as tight as she can. She continues to kiss you passionately for another few seconds and then she eventually pulls away with a smile.

"Y/N..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles lovingly at you as her cheeks are still a bright shade of red. "I..." Ellie can't muster anymore words, but she still looks really happy right now.

You break the kiss and catch your breaths. Ellie's arms are still wrapped around your waist and you can feel your bodies close, your hearts still racing and your breathing still a bit short.

Ellie looks at you with a smile and then she speaks again. "Oh my god... ." Ellie laughs and covers her face with her hands for a moment. "Oh my god... oh my god... I..." Ellie still seems to be speechless for a few more seconds.

“What's wrong?” You ask her, taking her hands off her face.

Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles warmly at you. "Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong at all. I... umm... I just didn't realize that you... umm... loved me so much. I'm... I'm just really happy right now." Ellie's face goes back to being a bright shade of red again as she stares at you. You hug her tightly. Ellie smiles again and she returns the hug tightly as well.

"Y/N, do you... ummmm... is... umm... do you really love...? Do you... really love me?" Ellie's voice is now very quiet and soft. "I hope I don't seem desperate, but you make me feel... umm... incredibly happy. I just want to hear those words one more time..."

“I do.. i have for a while, i just din't know how to say it, i didn't want it to ruin our friendship.” You say, a bit embarrassed.

Ellie can't hide how happy she is when you say those words to her. She twirls with you in the water holding you tight and she smiles warmly at you again. "I feel the same way... I think I've always loved you... but I didn't know how to say it either. I was always afraid that it was going to... umm... ruin the amazing relationship we already had..." Ellie's breath is still a bit short and her voice is still quiet and soft as she talks.

"But now... I think I know... how to say it..." You look up into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you look into her eyes. "Look... I'll make it simple. I... I love you. I love you a lot..." Ellie's voice is still soft and the corners of her lips are slightly tingly as she stares at you with a smile. "I... I always have and I think that... I always will..."

“I love you too, Ells…” You say smiling shyly. “More than you can imagine…” Ellie smiles lovingly at you and there's a little bit of a blush on her cheeks. She can barely contain how happy she is right now and she feels completely relieved about finally knowing how you feel. "I... I love you so much... and I think that... I always will..." Ellie looks back into your eyes as she says these words and she leans her body in closer towards you.

You two kiss again. She starts to kiss you softly as your bodies are getting closer. A slight sigh leaves her mouth and you can feel her body temperature rising again. She wraps her arms around you and you can feel her fingers playing with the back of your head and your hair as she kisses you passionately. It feels so amazing. You can't believe that it is real. It feels like a dream. A beautiful dream.

A couple of months later you were walking through town holding hands. Ellie and you have been together for a few months now and your relationship has become much more intense. Your love has grown stronger and your commitment is deeper. Ellie looks up at you as she holds your hand and you can see how happy she is.

"I can't believe what these last few months have been like... it's like... it's like I've found a true friend and... and she also turns out to be the love of my life. I could never ask for anything better..." Ellie says with a smile from ear to ear.

“I love you too, Ells.” You say looking into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you as you say those words to her. "I love you too... I love you a lot... you're so precious... and I'm so happy to have you in my life..."

Ellie wraps her arms around you tightly and she lets go of your hand. "I... I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you... I don't know what I would do if... if..."

“If what? Are you okay?” You ask, a bit concerned.

Ellie looks into your eyes and she nods her head. "I'm... I'm fine, it's just... you know what I said earlier... where I'd be if it wasn't for you? I can't imagine my life without you right now." Ellie looks back at you and smiles warmly again. "I... umm... I just... I just want you to... I want you to always stay by my side, will you do that for me?"

“I don't plan on ever leaving you.” You caress her face gently as she holds you still.

Ellie nods at you and she keeps hold of you. "I don't plan on ever leaving you either, you've... you've made the past few months so great for me..." Ellie smiles at you and her eyes are sparkling happily.

"I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better to be my girlfriend..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she hugs you again, your bodies still close to each other. "I... I don't know how I got so lucky to have you..."

You walk by the swings where you two met, once more, almost four years ago now. You look at each other knowing exactly what the other is thinking and sit down together as you start to swing. It was October, just like when you saw her for the first time. The sun was shining, the breeze blew through your hair and the sun hit Ellie's face perfectly. You've never been able to forget her eyes since that day. They were still as beautiful as if not more. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to you.

[lamarckianenterprises]

A Hand On Your Head (Repost from Deviantart)

It’s late in the evening, and inside a modestly priced room within the city of Freemount, two young ladies are committing the sin of witchcraft by candle light. One is standing over a small cauldron, a tall and heavily built brown haired woman dressed in her least favorite nightgown, a garish green affair tastefully hidden by a heavily stained apron. She had a ladle in one leather wrapped hand, and a pinch of fur at the other, which was hovering intently over the roiling brown liquid within the cauldron. She was singing something to herself at the moment, a soft and melodic tune that contained the recipe for her latest work, concealed somewhere within a web of slang and rhyming code. She sings the refrain, a line exhorting all who are listening to remain patient, a few more times, before she finally sprinkles the fur inside the cauldron, and vigorously mixes it in with her wooden ladle.

She steps back just as the mixture starts to shift in color once more. The witch instinctively wincing a little as she takes a deep breath, and accidentally breathes in some of the fumes. She coughs, and wipes some sweat off her brow, but otherwise pays it no mind. It wasn’t the first time she’s had to illicitly brew a potion inside her apartment after all, but this one was special. 

She casts a glance backwards, at the woman seated on the edge of the bed. It was a moment of weakness, a display of poor concentration, one that her mentor would have chastised her for all those years ago. It made her smile a little though, to see that Sanne was still waiting for her to finish up, but then again, of course she was. This was her idea after all.

She could never quite figure out what made her roguish roommate tick, oh, she was pleasant to have around, could be trusted to keep a secret well, and she’s owed her life to her timely intervention one too many times but… cat ears. She was about to give her roommate cat ears, and for the life of her, she can’t quite remember why.

She stared deep into the concoction, as if attempting to find some inner truth hidden within the pitch black liquid. She wasn’t doing this for the pay, not when she refused to accept a single coin over what she would need to buy the ingredients, and she almost certainly wasn’t doing this for the experience. But if she wasn’t doing this for the money or the chance to test a new recipe, what was she doing this for. She blinked, just as a mental image of Sanne’s handsome face and short straight black hair came into mind; complete with a pair of short pointed ears sticking out of the top of her head. The sight was enough to cause something to click within the witch’s mind, and the words “Oh right, that,” to quietly leave her lips.

“Hum?” Sanne replied, as she glances up from the lengths of black string tied around her fingers, and shifts around on the bed to get a better view. “Did you say something Jess?” she asked, sounding a little more concerned than usual.

“I have been singing this whole time Sanne,” Jess replied, attempting to deflect the rogue’s concerns away. “Don’t worry about it alright? It’s just something I do to help me remember,” she lied, as her free hand reached out for a nearby glass bottle. The potion was practically done by this point, but if she wanted Sanne to drink the murky black liquid, it needed to look presentable. And well; she’s practically trained the rogue to trust random magical liquids contained within a potion bottle by this point.

“That didn’t sound like a song to me,” Sanne retorted, but decided not to press any further. The rogue instead turned her attention back to forming little stick figures in the string, and waiting for Jess to finish up.

The rogue’s little game served as an entertaining distraction as Jess slowly poured the roiling black liquid inside the bottle, and ladled it in bit by bit so as to not spill a single drop. She sets the ladle aside on a napkin, and reaches out beneath the cauldron, beginning to hum along to an entirely different tune as she snuffs out the fire with her gloved hand. She spends a few moments in reflection to thank her distant patron, before she takes note of the liquid still inside the cauldron, and absentmindedly brushes an ash covered hand against her apron. It was done.

She gingerly takes the bottle in her nervous hands, and very carefully turns in place, before she greets her idle companion with a wide smile born of pride, and mostly genuine confidence. She lifted the bottle up to give Sanne a better view, with one palm pressed firmly against the bottom, and the other pressed up against its opening to keep it somewhat sealed. “It’s done. Simply drink deep of this heady liquid, and you will have your ‘cat ears’.”

She takes step after step towards Sanne, smiling intently while she watches the rogue hurriedly untangle her fingers from the many knots in her cradle. A slight smile forms on Sanne’s usually impassive face, as her lithe body shifts around in place, messing up the bedsheet a little, and betraying her excitement. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the rogue finally looks up at the proffered bottle and… starts to frown at its contents, leaning away from it a bit, even as one of her hands reaches out towards it. “Are you sure that this will work Jess?” she asks. Her eyes widening a little as she firmly taps the glass, causing the roiling black liquid to slosh back and forth.

“It’s alchemy Sanne, of course not, but I’ll be here if anything happens,” Jess replied, her smile wavering for a moment as she gently presses the bottle against the rogue’s hand, and waits. 

The rogue glances up at Jess’s face, studying it as intently as she did with the bottle’s contents. Her frown fades a little, but another glance at the bottle reinforces her suspicions, “I don’t know Jess, it looks kind of...vile.”

Jess sighs at Sanne’s response, and slowly pulls the bottle back, “Black is a perfectly normal color for a potion Sanne, and besides, you wanted the ears to match the color of your hair.” She coughs, “Look, you don’t have to drink this one if you don’t want to. I can try to whip up something that looks a little bit more appetizing, but it’s going to take me a while to get the ingredients.”

Sanne looks thoughtful for a moment, doubtlessly actually considering the witch’s offer, before she finally asks, “And how long would that take?”

“One or two,” Jess replies, leaving a long enough pause to cause a glimmer of hope to settle in Sanne’s eyes, “Weeks that is. That’s how long it’ll take me to find some moonwort around these parts, and I mean proper moonwort, not the dried stuff the old hag is peddling these days.” Sanne blinked, and with great reluctance, committed to what she is fairly sure would be a mistake, “What’s wrong with using dried moonwort?” In response, Jess’s left eye twitches, and the witch takes in one very deep breath, causing Sanne to quickly dart forward to snatch up the bottle from the witch’s hand. “Alright! Drinking it, now.”

The rogue slams the contents of the bottle down in front of Jess, seemingly without a care in the world for its bitter taste, or hot temperature. The only hint of discomfort, or even acknowledgement being a slightly gassy burp after she was done, and a blunt, “I… don’t feel any different?” She blinks, not quite recognizing the slight sensation of warmth radiating from her throat as anything out of the ordinary.

Jess pondered Sanne’s question for a moment. Truth be told, she didn’t have a lot of first hand experience with transformative potions. The witch had never actually tried drinking one of the things before, honest! And while she had sat down with people before as their potions ran their course, they were always much more minor affairs. 

A bigger bust, a slightly wider hip, complete body hair removal, none of it could really hold a candle to replacing someone’s ears with a distinctly more feline model, and she still wasn’t sure what that would look like. Of course, logic, and some parts of the song supposes that the new ears would rightly seat themselves at the top of the head, but the recipe never actually said what would happen to the drinker’s more human ears, or what the change would actually feel like, or how long all of this would take. Really, if the witch she learned this recipe from didn’t have cat ears of her own, she would have never bothered to make it in the first place.

She eventually coughs, and noncommittally offers, “Just give it a bit of time,” while one of her hands reaches out to take the empty bottle from the rogue’s hand. “It could take hours before anything happens, days even.”

“Alright Jess, I trust you. I just hoped that it would have finished up before we went to sleep you know?” Sanne replied, while letting the bottle slip into the witch’s hand. She furrows her brow a little, as a slight itch makes its presence known on the side of her head.

“That would be pretty great, but it’s unlikely to happen. I’m good, but not that good. You can only do so much with what I’ve had to work with,” Jess opined, before she turned away to put the glass bottle safely in its place, and failed completely to notice her roommate’s hair starting to lengthen at the sides.

While Jess had her back turned, Sanne unconsciously moved a hand up to gently scratch the left side of her head, hoping to deal with the almost unbearable itch, and instead finding herself almost completely unable to pull her hand away. Not when every single stroking motion sent shivers running down her spine, and definitely not when that unbearable itch would return the moment she stopped. She shifts around in place, starting to quietly whine a little when the strange itch spreads to the right side of her head. The discomfort forced her to use both of her hands to stroke, brush and scratch the clumps of hair and repurposed skin that covered up the sensitive nerves of her new ears. The rogue’s predicament lasted unnoticed until her roommate finally stopped fiddling with her cauldron, and turned around to find a very alarming sight awaiting her.

“What? Sanne! Are you okay!?” Jess half spoke, half shouted. The sound of her voice causes the rogue to instinctively clasp her hands over the still itchy pair of fluffy cat ears slowly rising out of her head. Sanne’s still developing new ear canals working in tandem with her existing ear to warp Jess’s words into a disorienting mixture of overlapping sounds. Finding the rogue’s reaction to be nothing more than pained whimpering, and having the perspective needed to notice the actual cat ears noticeably beginning to poke out from underneath Sanne’s hands, Jess reacted as anyone of her profession would have. She came to a sudden stop before the rogue, performed a very quick once over to make sure that nothing was out of the ordinary, and muttered something along the lines of, “Wait. That actually worked?” 

Blinking in place for a moment, a smile quickly replaces the puzzled and concerned expression she had before, and with absolutely no fanfare or warning, Jess pumps her first into the air, and almost shouts out, “I meant… I knew it would work!”. The loud sound again caused her roommate to shift uncomfortably in place, and whine at her general direction.

“Oh, sorry,” Jess said, in a much quieter volume, before she took a few hesitant steps forward, and continued with, “Can I take a look at that?”. Her smile wavered a little as she waited for Sanne’s response, the witch feeling a little conscious about seeming too excited when the rogue was definitely not enjoying her experience so far.

After a while, Jess saw something that could have been a gentle nod, and decided that she couldn’t let something as trite as ‘personal space’ get in the way any longer. The witch grasping Sanne’s hand in hers to very gently try to pry it off her left ear. Her movements unintentionally cause her warm and gloved fingers to brush against its soft, fur coated surface, triggering an odd response in the rogue’s mind, and making her grip noticeably loosen a little.

“Come on, let go already! They won’t grow out if you keep crushing them like this!” Jess lied, making up whatever reasonable sounding lies she could think of. The wiley witch decides to also supplement her vague, medical sounding threats with a focused assault on the rogue’s sensitive ears. Her fingers brushing and scratching against the edges of Sanne’s new ears, each slight movement causing the poor rogue to let out little whines, and loosen her grip more and more. Until her hand finally slips off, and reveals what she was looking for.

A single pointed cat ear, covered from top to bottom in a soft if thin layer of black fur, and seemingly long enough to barely cover with the palm of her hand. They were twitching now, and pressed up too tightly against Sanne’s head to reveal much of the light brown skin on the other side. The rogue was obviously still experiencing some distress yes, but this was a good sign. A real cat instinctively flattens their ears on the sides of their head when they are frightened, and despite having grown them less than a minute ago Sanne had somehow figured out how to do the same on her own…. Of course she could have also accidentally crushed her growing ears flat while she was in pain earlier, which would be bad.

Still though, even if they were potentially malformed, Jess had to admit that her roommate looked kind of cute now that she had them. Which felt strange, there were many words she could describe her roommate with, courageous, sure, trustworthy despite her supposed profession, and she had to admit that the woman could be quite charming when she tried. But cute? ‘Cute’ was not a word she would ever use to describe h-the tiny bundle of alcoholism and shivs she was now sitting beside. Of course, she never thought she would be doing this either, slowly petting her friend’s head to try and calm her down, and trying desperately to avoid touching her warm and sensitive ears again. 

‘Was this why she wanted them in the first place?’ she wondered, finding herself unable to stop a smile from forming on her face once more. ‘To make me see this side of her? But why would sh-’ the sudden movement of Sanne’s ear, and the embarrassment that followed cut that stray thought down where it stood. Leaving a suddenly very stone faced Jess to deal (read: Panic Internally) over Sanne’s potential reactions.

The witch simply sits there, practically immobilized as Sanne starts to sit up, and almost forces her defenses to slip when her soft ears and hair brush up against her still lingering hand for the brief moment before she yanks it away. Jess turned her face away the moment the rogue’s fluffy ears came into view, as the sight caused her face to feel a little warm for some reason, and she really didn’t want to make this more awkward than it already is. 

The two of them sat next to each other, sharing a moment of silence as they tried to get their bearings. Jess by making her brain to think of every single possible shape the rogue’s new ears could take to try and force herself into getting used to it. And Sanne by simply running her hands against the soft, fur covered length. The rogue still not quite buying that the sensations her new ears gave her were real, even as her own body found herself intensely aware of their presence.

It took Sanne another moment to finally break the silence by quietly asking, “Jess, can you… see this? Do I?” She slowly turns her head to face Jess with a hint of excitement in her eyes, and the very word written in bold by the upraised and fully erect pair of cat ears adorning her head.

In response, Jess very slowly and carefully turns her head around, just enough to get Sanne at the very edge of her eyesight. Her eyes unconsciously open just a little wider before she coughs, and very gently says, “Yes.” She hesitates for a moment, but finally decides to quietly add, “They look really good on you.”

“You really think so?” Sanne asked, noticeably starting to lean in close enough to force Jess to further avert her gaze. She opens her mouth to try and say something, but thinks better of it/ Deciding to slowly nod in response instead. An awkward expression forming on her face as she continues to vainly struggle to contain her excitement.

Sanne smiles a little to herself as she presses the side of her head against Jess’s arm, her ears slowly titling a little more openly towards the witch as she lets out a soft sigh. “I’m glad; that you like them thi-” she trails off after realizing just what she was about to say, and takes another deep breath.

The two of them linger like this for a while; seemingly both unsure of what to do or say next, and neither wanting to ruin what they had in the moment. But eventually; Jess realized that she couldn’t awkwardly sit in place while her roommate leaned against her forever, and she let out another cough, but followed it up with words this time. “Well, I should; really go and bottle up the rest of tonight’s batch before it goes bad, so if you don’t mind…”

With great reluctance, and fully realizing that she would probably never get a chance like this again, the witch slowly tries to stand up, and gently nudge Sanne away. Only to find herself stopping in place once more when the rogue instead wraps a hand around her arm, and quietly asks, “Couldn’t you… stay a little longer?”

Jess froze up for another moment, as her mind leapt to a possible conclusion, ,and just as quickly retreated from it. Her roommate couldn’t possibly be asking her to do that after all, it’s a bit too forward, and they’ve only known each other for...two to three years now. In the end she coughed, and tried to deflect her question with another, “Sanne. Why did you ask me to make you this potion?” Sanne shifted around in place for a bit, before she took another deep breath, and said, “You… think I look cuter with them; don’t you?” Her ears slowly started to point away from each other as she waited for a response. In response, Jess swallowed the lump in her throat, and risked casting another glance at the rogue’s face, only to immediately regret it afterwards. It wasn’t because her roommate’s face had changed, or because her soft and pointed cat ears were slowly swaying back and forth as if she was inviting her to reach out and grab them. No, all of that was cute, (“and attractive” said a voice at the very back of her mind) but it was that smile, that embarrassed, unsure smile that was so brazenly displayed on her face right now, and that slight blush she was trying very badly to hide. It all made her want to do something she would regret.

Slowly sitting back down on the bed, and fully turning her head to look...in the general direction of Sanne’s eyes. Jess took another deep breath to steel her nerves, and slid her glove off of her right hand, before she raised it, and slowly moved it towards the rogue’s extremely inviting head. She opened her mouth as well to try and say something, but not quite managing to work up the courage to ask despite the situation.

In the end, it was up to Sanne to make the first move. The newly minted cat girl leaning in just a little closer to Jess’s outstretched hand, before she slowly tilts her head up. Her own eyes almost meet the witch’s for a moment, and cause her blush to deepen just a little, before she quietly says, “You, may…” 

Jess shifted in place for a bit, starting to openly blush and smile awkwardly at Sanne as her hand moved in to slowly brush against her head. Just her fingers at first, stroking against the soft hair around the rogue’s ears in circling motions, that slowly slide just a little closer, and press down just a little more firmly with each pass. Until her fingers were finally scratching the base of her gently twitching ears, each stroke causing a lilting whine to leave Sanne’s lips, as she leaned in a little closer to Jess’s hand and body.

She felt her awkward smile start to widen a little as the rogue slowly blinked her eyes closed. She wasn’t even trying to hide her excitement anymore now, there just wasn’t a point anymore. Not when the slight rumble coming from Sanne’s throat, the way her ears seemed to curl around her hand as she stroked along its length, and the warm smile lingering on Sanne’s face all told her one thing. That her roommate was content, warm, and happy to be here with her… just as she was. 

Sanne let out a content sigh as she gently nuzzled against Jess’s hand, and lowered herself bit by bit to her true destination. The rogue’s subtle movements went completely unnoticed until it was far too late for the witch to pull away, and prevent the right side of her head from pressing up against Jess’s soft and warm lap. Sanne continued to make that odd rumbling sound as she brushed back and forth against Jess’s thigh, seemingly in tune with the movement of her hand. It took a while before Jess could muster up the strength to pull her hand away, especially since the rogue’s head and newly flexible cat ears seemed to have an uncanny ability to home in and tease her back from the brink with their comforting warmth. But holding her roommate this close, feeling her melt against her touch, and hearing her let out slight whines and purring noises was a little. It was making her wonder…

Jess waited for Sanne to slowly come down from her head pat induced high before she spoke, partly because she wanted to hear a clear answer from the rogue, but mostly because she couldn’t work up the courage to say anything while the other woman slowly nuzzled against her lap. She coughed at first, the witch clearing a particularly large lump from her throat as the rogue slowly blinked her eyes open, and turned to look into her own. She could see Sanne’s lips curling a little as she prepared to say something, but in her haste, the witch ejaculated, “Why did you ask me to make this for you?”

Another moment of silence followed as the rogue very suddenly closed her open mouth, and let her guard slip just enough for Jess to notice the slight blush coloring her cheeks. The rogue furrows her brow a little as she tries to think of something to say in response, and seeming visibly hesitant as she ventures on to say, “Don’t; you think they look cute?”

Jess took a deep breath as her eyes took in every inch of Sanne’s fluffy ears. The witch admiring her handiwork one last time before she chances it, and rather awkwardly states, “I think they look... Cute, yes. But I, you were always pretty-” The witch trails off a little, and slowly shifts her gaze towards the nearby floor, as she waits for the other shoe to drop. Thankfully, it never did. The Witch instinctively winced a little when she heard Sanne start to laugh of course, but it didn’t take long before she noticed something. It wasn’t the sort of surprised, or even mocking laughter she had come to expect, but one of relief. She wasn’t the only one taking a chance tonight it seemed, just the one that’s easiest to read. “I could have just asked you out, couldn’t I?” Sanne eventually said, as Jess finally works up the courage to glance in her general direction. 

“Y-yeah, probably…”

[donald4spiderman]

Sweating, And A Lesson On Self-Worth

masterlist

Summary: Spencer finds himself falling for his NAT (new agent training) defensive tactics coach.

Pairing: SR x Fem!Reader *described as petite to give the illusion of assumed vulnerability when IRL she’s a badass— no other specific physical details are mentioned*

Category: Fluff

TW: Mentions of body image, general CM talk, mentions of fighting/grappling/wrestling, small age gap (reader is 28 & reid is 22)

concept inspired by @sierraraeck’s fic “Bad Liar” about Morgan training Spencer. I love wrestling so I wanted to do one about a badass female combat coach/agent.

REBLOG!

-

When Spencer and the rest of the trainees are ushered into the fitness center on their second day at the academy, he almost shits himself. He’s well aware of the physical demands being in the FBI requires, and he’s been dreading the PFT (Physical Fitness Test) since he applied.

There are hundreds of men and women huddled in the middle of the room, anticipating the orientation, and Spencer feels his palms sweat before he’s even started working out. The majority of the trainees are football players, wrestling’s, and weight lifters— he can tell by their muscular build and general atmosphere of strength and confidence.

SSA Jesse Fallon introduces their defensive tactics coach for the next twenty weeks— a petite but athletic woman. She’s dressed in a gray t-shirt and flexible khaki pants— Spencer would be lying if he said she didn’t look gorgeous, even in the bland attire.

“I’m SSA and defensive tactics coach (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” She introduces herself, giving a warm smile to the crowd. “I’ve been an SSA for five years and the head coach of this portion of the academy for two. This is my third official wave of trainees— and believe me— I won’t be going easy on any of you.”

Light laughter disperses through the crowd, and Spencer wears an uneasy look on his face.

“Today, I’ve prepped stations for each of you to cycle through for the next three hours. Agent Rivera is monitoring the weapon defense; Agent Glover is in charge of the takedowns; And I’ll be handling hand-to-hand combat and grappling. You’ll spend an hour at each station, run a mile at the end, and then you’re done for the day. Sound good?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Choruses through the crowd.

SSA (Y/N) clasps her hands together, “Alright, you know your groups. Split up!”

-

Spencer’s assigned to the takedown station first. Agent Glover’s criticisms are primarily nonconstructive, and Spencer struggles with apprehending and cuffing his more robust and much more muscular partner on the floor. He’s never trained this hard for anything in his life, physically, speaking. He’s half-dead within the first hour, and he dreads having to do this two more times.

His next stop is with Agent Rivera, who’s much kinder to Spencer than his prior. Reid is better at disarming his opponent, but his long limbs flail wildly due to his incoordination— he’s trying his best, but he sees the way everyone else giggles at him. It’s a blow to the chest that leaves him defeated more than any gunshot could.

The last hour is spent working at SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s station. She commands the attention of the entire group so naturally, despite being considered a rookie, she has an intimidating amount of knowledge.

“How many of you are wrestlers or judokas?” About sixty percent of the group raises their hand, and Spencer scans around for who might have the strength to kill him with one blow.

“Good,” She smiles. “This will come naturally to you, then. Now, a head-and-arm throw most likely won’t work in the field— so, sorry, judokas. However, double legs, body locks, and blast-doubles are constantly used to take down an unsub with minimal injury to the agent. Even someone as short as me can use leverage to grapple and control a much taller person.” (Y/N) scans the crowd of trainees for a moment before pointing directly at Spencer.

“You, come here.” She commands, and Spencer waddles nervously up next to her on the mat. “This is...”

He’s confused for a moment before realizing she’s asking for his name. “S-Spencer Reid.”

“Hi, Spencer.” She smiles. “How tall are you?”

“Six foot two.”

“Spencer has the advantage of almost a whole foot of height against me. But, I can use his higher center of gravity to tip him over more easily. We do this a lot in wrestling— being low to the ground and agile is important.”

(Y/N) firmly plants her hands on Spencer’s shoulder, moving him so that he’s turned to the side. “This move is called a modified blast double— it prioritizes attacking the ankles and knees rather than the knees and abdomen.”

She leans in closer to Spencer, “Don’t post your wrist out when you fall.” She whispers in his ear, sending chills down his spine. “Keep your neck tucked too.” Her breath is warm and minty, and Spencer almost forgets that he has 30 other people watching him.

“I’m going to simulate an active attack with Spencer. Doing this move in a wrestling match is much more controlled than against a rogue criminal playing by their own rules. They might have a melee or close-range weapon like a knife or hammer on them, so it’s important to make this move when the best opportunity strikes.”

“Spencer’s going to run at me and attempt to land a punch to my face.” She gives him a nod, and he chambers over to her.

Swiftly crouching lower to the ground, she launches herself towards him, gripping the back of his ankles and pushing her shoulder into his knees, and suddenly he’s flying back onto the mat. She follows through, straddling Spencer’s hips and covering his movements with an arm under his neck.

He’s out of breath as he watches the beautiful SSA leaning above him. His head is slightly sore from the impact, but overall he feels... invigorated.

“You never let your opponent fall onto the ground without covering them. Straddling your opponent allows you to keep them down while having full use of your fists.” She swings her leg off of Spencer, standing up. She reaches a hand out and quickly yanks him up.

“Find someone and drill that move. I’m coming around to help all of you.”

She gives Spencer a firm pat on his back, to which he blushes furiously, pulling his lower lip in between his teeth.

-

Spencer spent the rest of the hour getting slammed onto the mat over and over by various men and women. His entire shirt is soaked, and his breathing is so labored he thinks he’s going to faint. SSA (Y/N) (Y/L/N) might have appeared at ease earlier in the day, but she wasn’t kidding when she promised she would work them to no end. Everyone was at the brink of death when they approached the last lap of their mile— Spencer at risk of passing out more than others.

The relief he feels after completing his tenth lap around the gym is euphoric. Trainees collapse onto the ground with exhaustion all around him.

“Great job today.” SSA (Y/N) compliments happily. “I appreciate all the effort you guys showed today. It better still be here in four months.” And with that, she excuses them, along with the agents monitoring each station.

Spencer’s one of the last agents to trickle out of the gym. His legs feel like jello when he walks, and his lungs burn.

He almost makes it past the threshold of the door before his name is called.

“Dr. Reid.” She beckons him over with a finger. “May I talk to you for a moment.”

Spencer nervously shuffles over. “Yes, SSA (Y/L/N)?”

“I applaud your effort at training today. I can tell you were working hard.” He blushes. “But I’ve been informed that the board is willing to wave all physical training requirements for your acceptance into the FBI.”

“Yeah... I-I uh figured they’d want me for my IQ only.” He jokes nervously, shrugging his shoulders. He knows it’s disrespectful not to look her in the eye, but she intimidates him too much.

She laughs, and it’s a sweet, joyful sound that Spencer can’t get enough of. She’s powerful and radiant— stealing attention from everyone else. “You’re charming, and your reputation precedes you.”

Charming? Since when has little Spencer Reid ever been charming? He smiles awkwardly, looking off to the side to hide his blush.

“You know, the forensics department wants their hands on the trainee with the chemistry doctorate, and the surveillance department wants the kid with eidetic memory, and word has it that you speak more than four languages, so everyone wants their fair share.”

“W-why are you telling me this?” Spencer asks, voice shy and barely above a whisper.

“Because,” she places a tender hand on his shoulder, “You need to carry yourself with more confidence, Spencer. I saw you— surrounded by all those athletes— it made you feel out of place. I get it.”

“How d-do you get it?”

“I was 23 years old when I became an SSA, surrounded by people two decades older than me. I felt like the office secretary— constantly getting pushed around by people I was afraid to upset. But the thing is, Spencer, you need to demand respect from other people. I’m not saying you need to be arrogant or be a bully, but you are one of— if not the most promising agent trainee— and you need to realize your self-worth.”

“I’m smart, I-I know that. But I’m not strong or athletic by any means.” He sighs, gripping the duffle bag slung across his shoulder tightly.

“That’s alright. You’re not going to be Kyle Dake overnight. But you can’t beat yourself up about it.” (Y/N) chuckles lightly.

Spencer thinks for a moment, “T-thank you... for uh saying all those nice things about me.”

“They're true.” She nods.

“I think I’ll continue with the defensive tactics training. I could um use it.” Its partially true, but he’s most inclined to stick around because of the kind and beautiful SSA that’ll be training him.

“Yay! That’s great, Spencer.” She cheers, wrapping him in a hug that’s a little too friendly to be professional. He accepts despite being drenched in sweat.

Her arms are wrapped tightly around Spencer, and she pats him on the back twice before pulling away like a proud mentor would. He can’t decide if (Y/N) would be a better girlfriend or a better teacher. If she would, he’d prefer for her to be both. He’d give her all he had to offer if she’d allow him.

He doesn’t recognize the smile that plays on her lips, and it’s a foreign feeling for the aggressive and focused SSA. She hasn’t felt something like this in a while, especially not for a nerdy trainee named Dr. Spencer Reid.

“Hit the showers.” She teases. “You stink.”

Spencer nods furiously, “Y-yeah, of course. Thank you, again, SSA—“

“Just call me (Y/N).”

“T-thank you, (Y/N).” He smiles, scurrying out of the gym and into the hallway as giddy as ever.

(Y/N) knows she can’t pursue this— at least, not right now. She’ll give it a few years to let him settle in the FBI (his acceptance is inevitable) if she can be patient for that long. All she knows is that eventually, she wants the awkwardly adorable boy to be hers— and she wants to be his.

i’m so proud of this fic but sry i got carried away talking about wrestling i love it sm

[barnesbabee]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴇɴ - ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀʟᴀɴᴅ

WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

⇜ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - ᴛᴇɴ-  ɴᴇxᴛ ⟿

CHARACTER LIST:

White Rabbit - Choi Jongho Absolem (Blue Catterpilar) - Kang Yeosang Cheshire Cat - Kim Hongjoong Mad Hatter - Choi San Haigha (March Hare) - Jung Wooyoung Tweedle Dee - Song Mingi Tweedle Dum - Jeong Yunho Bloody Red King - Park Seonghwa

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @myunvillage @mirror-juliet @jess-1404 @earth-to-leiki @miraculoustaytiny [Send me a DM, an ask or comment to be added to the tag list]

The King wasted no time. After getting you back, he immediately scheduled the coronation, as he couldn't wait to call you his Queen. The Castle was in a frenzy, the sound little frog feet slapping against the marble floors echoed in every division. Seonghwa refused to have the coronation in the same room where he got married, he didn't want to re-live the awful moment when his wife got stolen from him... So the maids and butlers found new decorations, moved the paintings and transformed another one of the King's dark and cold rooms into a place worthy of a welcoming party.

"Let's do it in the throne room. Place her throne by my right." He had said.

The tradition was for the throne to be moved in front of everyone present, so they could witness the changes and their new reality first hand, but Seonghwa was a little tired of following tradition.

You and him stood in the middle of the throne room, with every single maid and butler running around frantically, trying to get everything done on time. You looked on proudly, enjoying the way it was all coming along.

The excess of red and black was gone, it was now balanced with white and gold, and with the new paintings and lights giving the room a new life it looked like a completely new place. The blinds behind the throne were finally opened, revealing the most beautiful stained glass images. There were four people, who you assumed were Seonghwa's family.

You reminisced the first time you had come to that room, panting and confused, standing in the dark, cold room being judged by the merciless man Seonghwa once was. The contrast was almost unbelievable, but you were glad you had gotten this far.

You felt a pair of arms wrap around your figure and a chin on your shoulder.

"I'll have it replaced. First, just the two of us, and then, once we have our little prince, or princess," he paused, caressing your stomach, where you'd carry your future child "I'll have it replaced once more, with a full picture of our family."

He kissed your cheek and you smiled.

"But Seonghwa, are you sure you wanna take down the picture of your family?" You questioned, feeling honoured yet a little wrong, replacing the original King and Queen.

He stood straight, and his cheerful expression was immediately replaced by one of pain and confusion, remembering all of the memories alongside those people.

"Why not? They have given me nothing but a lifetime of suffering, you have given me nothing but happiness and a chance of redemption. You deserve to be up there, immortalized, as a part of the new Royal family."

"Thank you..."

That was all you could say, as there were no words that could possibly describe how you felt.

One of the maids stole you away from your husband for a second, so you could change from the dirty, ripped-up wedding dress for the new ceremony. She helped you switch to a princess-style dress, all in red silk. The revealing heart-shaped neckline was covered with black lace, that extended all the way to your hands and wrapped around your index finger.

"You look lovely, Miss." The maid said as she fixed your hair.

You thanked her with a small smile and headed towards the throne room. Usually, it would be packed with people, but due to the previous altercation, the only people attending the coronation would be the castle staff, aside from the knights who were assigned to protect the castle during the event.

You carefully sat on the throne, feeling Seonghwa's eyes (or... eye) inspecting you. He leaned over, so he could whisper in your ear.

"You look marvelous in red."

He sat back straight in his throne and smiled at your shy expression. A tall man soon entered the room holding two boxes. He opened one of the boxes and slowly (and carefully) placed the crown on the King's head. It was exaggerated, yet classy and sophisticated like Seonghwa. You could tell it had been specially done for him.

"We shall now begin the coronation of Miss Y/N." The man announced.

He opened the box in front of you, revealing the most beautiful, victorian crown. It was made up of white gold and adorned with the most beautiful red and white stones.

"I hereby declare, by the powers given to me by His majesty Park Seonghwa, the new Queen of Wonderland, Queen Y/N."

The man slowly placed the crown on your head, and it was a perfect fit. He stepped away so the painter could see your smiling faces, as he immortalized the moment on a canvas.

The castle staff smiled and cheered for you, their new Queen.

"Bring her!" The King shouted, and the whole room froze.

The thought on everyone's mind was 'Who's her'.

The heavy doors to the room opened, and a chained woman, dressed in a black cape with her white, disheveled hair showing stepped in, with the help of two guards.

"Unchain her."

The guards obeyed the King, and unchained the woman, who rotated her wrists with a sigh of contentment.

"Finally, what do I owe the honour, Sir?"

The crowd in front of you looked on, petrified. Who the fuck was she?

"Undo the room." Seonghwa commanded.

"Hm there have been some changes, I see." The woman said, her voice cracking mid-sentence.

She looked at you, with her bright purple eyes, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Yes, there have. Now please do as I asked."

"Very well Sir."

The woman removed her black cape, revealing a small, crooked young-looking woman. She lifted her hands in the air, creating a small green fog in her hands, that she aimed at all beings in the room. The people, who were previously humanoid frogs, were turned back into their original form. Tears of happiness formed in everyone's eyes and cries of thankfulness echoed in the room. One maid approached you and knelt by your feet.

"Thank you... Thank you so much!"

You recognized the voice, it was the maid that had thanked you the other day for staying with Seonghwa, and the one that usually helped you dress. You smiled and held her hands.

"No need to kneel around me Miss, thank you for your hard work."

She bowed to you as she walked back to cheer with her peers.

Seonghwa stood up and held out his hand for you to take, and so you followed.

"Iracebeth, follow us. You two," the King said, looking at the two guards who had brought the witch "make sure everyone is gathered at the town center by the time we arrive."

The guards nodded and immediately headed out. Seonghwa took your arm and started walking with you, headed to the town center, you guessed.

You looked behind you to look at the witch, that stared at you with a sinister expression.

"Are you sure it's safe to bring her along, won't she like... curse you? You know, for keeping her locked up?" You whispered.

"Oh, no that won't be an issue."

You tilted your head to the side.

"How come?"

Seonghwa blushed, embarrassed to recall what he had done.

"Well, I tricked her into falling in love with me so I could get her to cast a spell on herself that would only allow her to cast the spells I request her to. I then locked her in the dungeon because I didn't want to deal with her constant crying and blabbering about how I tricked her, that's probably why she's looking at you like..." He glanced over at the witch "... like that."

You hit his arm.

"Park Seonghwa!"

"Ow! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I regret doing it but if I undo it now it could have severe consequences, not only for me but for you too. And we can't have that."

You sighed and nodded. It's true that it was cruel, but you didn't want any consequences headed your way, you'd had enough.

You stopped in front of a black and gold carriage, the one that would take you into town. Seonghwa helped you get on and then sat beside you. The witch rode in front of you, her creepy smile and envious eyes staring into your soul the whole ride. Seonghwa held your hand tightly, also feeling uneasy by her presence.

"We're here, Sir."

Seonghwa took a deep breath. You could tell he was nervous, as all of the people from the Kingdom looked at the carriage, expectantly. You kissed his cheek and held his hand tighter.

"It will be okay." You assured him.

Seonghwa smiled softly and exited the carriage, alongside you and the witch. The expressions of the people once they saw the witch were the same as back in the castle, and they braced for the worst.

The King said nothing, he only turned to the witch and said 'do it'.

Once more, she cast the spell, that supposedly returned them to what they once were, but it didn't go as planned. Some people returned to their original state, but the ones who had turned from animals to humans, not so much... Some had the luck of being completely turned back to who they were, others were left hybrids, mixes of animals and humans. You found Cheshire, still as a human, happily playing with his ears and tail, and Haiga, the Hare, jumping about with his hare feet about the return of his long ears. It didn't take much for those two to be happy. There was a mix of emotions among the crowd, however, some people that had married into families who were previously human, were happy they got some of their old life back and they would still be able to maintain their relationship, others were sad (and mad) that they would never be able to return to whom they once were.

"What happened!?" Seonghwa whisper-yelled to the witch.

"The curse has been cast for far too long, I wasn't able to undo it completely." She explained, ashamed of her own skills.

"People, I apologize," as soon as he spoke those words the commotion calmed down, and everyone seemed shocked. The King? Apologizing? "it seems the curse has gone on for too long and is irreversible in some cases. I ask that whoever has been affected attends the castle tomorrow so I can offer a proper compensation for all of the damages caused, that would be all."

[camslightstories]

It's always going to be you

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Lena Luthor x reader

Taglist: @captain-josslett @multi-images

Request:  Anonymous - “Reader x Lena. Angst with a happy ending. Lena & Reader have been dating on the down low for a while when James decides he wants Lena back, maybe reader walks in on James kissing Lena in her office and leaves assuming Lena is cheating”

Notes: This is my first request writing, so I hope you guys like it. Thank you so much for your support. You guys are great. Part 7 would probably be out on Monday since I have a shoot tomorrow. I hope you guys have a great day. I’m open to any suggestions, comments, feedbacks or request. 

The smell of pancakes surrounded the kitchen. The sunlight was slowly coming in. As the cold of the penthouse hit you. The soft sound of the jazz coming from the speaker at the side of the stone. Barefoot on the floor, you did a small dance moving from the stone to the coffee maker, only to be caught by arms hugging from behind making you melt on the embrace.

“Good morning, Love” Lena commented as she kissed your head, tugging you closer, resting her hands in your stomach, under your shirt.

“Good Morning, honey” Turning around, you responded. Laying a small kiss on her lips, only to be pulled down for more, when you pulled away. 

Both of you with only shirts and underwear on, after a long night, stood there embracing each other, until Lena’s A.I. spoke up “Ms. Y/L, if the pancakes are not turned over in 1 min exact, they would be burned”

Lena released a laugh that lit the apartment, making you pout as she did. Walking over to the stone you pulled away from her embrace, and she shocked her head walking to get coffee. After you moved the pancakes to a plate from the stone, she stole a kiss from you, erasing the pout and putting a smile on your face.

“You are incredible, you know that right?” She whispered in your lips as both of you pulled away. 

You responded shaking your head as you gave her, the breakfast you had prepared. The blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes were placed carefully under a mix of berries accompanied by a small bowl of parfait on the side. “Bon appétit, nerd”

“Même amour” She claimed, giving you a small chaste kiss, before starting to eat.

The two of you spend the rest of the morning before going to work, giving small kisses, hugs, and affection as both of you did your things. You walked out of the door first, after receiving a call from Maggie, your boss, as she needed you on a scene. Lena leaves not long after, with the same happy expression on her face as you did. 

The National City Police station was completely out of control, officers walking up and down asking questions and bringing multiple people for petty crimes. Maggie and the Captain taking cases while trying to figure out the incident of this morning. As they pressured you to get results of the scene as you worked as fast as you could. 

Lena and you messaged through the day, every day when you started dating. Little check-ups on each other and small messages of affections were passed through the two of you. But today you hadn't had the chance to check your phone, and neither did it ring during the day. It worried you, taking you out of your head, Maggie dragged you out of your lab, as she spoke to you. Both of you shared a look before you were both rushing out on her police car. “There was an attack in LCorp”

Arriving at the LCorp building, to be met with the site of multiple police patrols surrounding the building. You guys entered to be met with multiple yellow bags on the floor and the lobby trashed. 

Kara as Supergirl, Nia as Dreamer, Alex, and a tall black guy, all standing with your girlfriend talking. The two of you approached them, jogging and grabbing their attention.

You immediately looked at Lena, as you blurted out “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happen-”

“I’m fine, it was just in the lobby” Your girlfriend interrupted you, as she hugged you, pulling away too soon for both of your likings. But Lena wasn't a person of much PDA if you guys weren't with your closest friends, so you two kept your relationship on the low.

One of the officers went to move a body only to be stopped by Maggie’s shouting “Don't touch that”

You closed your eyes as you felt the yell in your ear. Kara, Nia, and Alex were about to laugh, while the tall guy observed you confused. Maggie returned her attention to the group speaking.“Supergirl, Dreamer can you walk me through what happens as Y/N does her thing”

“Yeah, sure” You nodded, before smiling at all of them with a small wave as you put the gloves on, Lena and you connecting glances, making you blush before walking away. While Kara and Nia responded. 

Doing your work, as you collected evidence and examined the crime scene. Kara and Nia had left after briefing Maggie with what had happened. It had been a fight between two robbing gangs, only to be stopped by the police. After they had killed 5 people, three gangsters, and two securities, and left 12 others in the hospital.

Finishing your work, you glanced to where Lena was now standing alone with the same tall guy. He hasn’t left her side since you guys arrived. Maggie now stood beside you as you briefed her with the evidence of the scene, only to glance at Lena again when she walked into the elevator with Jess and the man. You said moving your head in her direction asking your brunette friend.“Who's that?”

“That's James Olsen and he is… I think that Lena should tell you that” Maggie responded as she patted your back, slightly pushing you towards the elevator. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked at the Latina confused as she simply shrugged before walking away with your box of evidence.

“Ohh, Okay” You murmured as you walked to the elevator. Grabbing your phone checking the time to be met with ‘5:30 pm’ on the top of it. You shocked your head as an idea came into your head. 

Maybe you could make dinner at your apartment, and pack a few things to make a picnic with your girlfriend. Some Canelones of spinach and cheese, with a bottle of Lena’s favorite wine. Maybe a strawberry cheesecake for dessert.

After 5 months of dating your heart would burst every time you saw your girlfriend, Lena had won your trust, your love, your mind, everything. You would give her anything she wanted, she became your everything. You just wanted to burst it out but you were scared to saying ‘I love you’

The elevator stopped and you walked inside, going straight to Lena’s office. Jess was talking to one man, a scientist you could guess because of his white lab coat. You walked to the door only to be met with the sight of Lena almost sitting on the desk as the tall guy, James was in front of her. Both of them kissing. 

Your heartbeat stopped. Your breath got caught in your throat. Your eyes became watery falls. Your legs and hands became paralyzed only to regain consciousness as you lowered your glance before walking away. In automatic mode you walked to the elevator, letting all of the feelings sink. 

Your clouded mind made you lose focus, and work during the next few days. Days of crying and anger. Days you tried to work but failed, with work hours of more than 12 hours. Ignoring Lena at every cause. Even though you were ignoring her, the green-eyed woman wouldn't leave your thoughts.

Now standing in your apartment with bags and boxes of evidence and reports you had to fill out. With coffee in your hand and pizza in the other. Bags under your eyes and uncontrollable hair. You typed in your computer, as the results of the bullets came back. Only to be distraught by the sound on the door knocking remembering the coffee order takeout you had ordered a few minutes ago as your support. 

Walking to the door you sighed waiting for the delivery person to give you, your precious order only to be met with the sight of your girlfriend, with your order in her hand and a confused and worried yet loving glance.

You sighed before speaking, with a cold tone, meeting her eyes as you walked inside grabbing the coffee you didn't finish. Lena looked into them, and all she saw confusion, sadness, anger, tiredness, and more. “Don't look at me like that”

Lena went to speak, only to be interrupted by you.  “Darling, how-”

“Just cut the crap if you are going to break up with me” You exclaimed, while angry tears left your eyes. Lena looked at you shocked as she entered the apartment glancing around to see the mess it was.

“I never stood a chance did I?” You commented as you seated on the barstool, massaging your temples, not giving her a chance to speak. 

You cracked out, with an ironic laugh. Making Lena walk up to you, with wide eyes and fidgeting hands. “I mean in what world would a CSI top a national photographer, who was an editor in chief in CatCo and was part-time a vigilante?”

Before anything else could happen, Lena cupped your face and kissed you fiercely. You melted into her and kissed back. You stood up and Lena grabbed your waist pulling you into her, your arms went instinctively to her neck as both of you lost each other's embrace. 

Pulling away for necessary air, you leaned each other's forehead and connected your noses, sharing an Eskimo kiss as she whispered in your lips. “Why would I want anything else, if I have the love of my life right in front of me”

Before speaking again, she took a chaste kiss from you. “I don't want anyone else, Love”

“But I saw you kiss the tall dark guy, James!” You said standing up, walking away from her. Pain slashed through Lena’s eyes as you did as the memory of the last week came through her mind.

Flashback - 4 days ago

Lena was standing in the lobby of her company, glancing eventually where you stood working as the CSI of the National City Police. Paying little to no attention to what her ex was talking about. 

The green-eyed woman's heart would beat faster every time, you would smile up to her or even look her way. She was love-struck by you and the last 5 months of dating you had made her a lovesick puppy, but she was more than okay about it since it was because of you.

The black-haired woman had been on an interview with Kara, Nia and as a consultant James over the next project, LCorp was going to launch in the next month. When the fight had happened, Kara and Nia rapidly had made action when they changed into their superheroes attire, but James had stood by her as a bodyguard, it made her somehow uncomfortable as he tried to protect her even though she wasn't the one who needed its protection.

Bringing her out of her thoughts, her ex-boyfriend claimed. “Lena, Lena, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, James. I am” Your girlfriend responded as she gave him a glance of annoyance which the tall man did not capture.

The photographer nodded and waited a few seconds before speaking up again, as he scratched his neck. “Can we talk in your office, Lena?. Is kind of important”

She looked at him, and over his shoulder saw you, distracted with Maggie working before she responded with a polite smile. “Sure, James”

“Jess, can you check on Mr. Hernandez report” Lena directed to her assistant, as the three of them walked to the elevator. 

Standing now inside of the simple and beautiful white office, Lena listened as her ex-boyfriend spoke. “Well Lena, and if you want me to stay. I will, I will do everything to get you back”

But the truth was that the scientist's mind wasn't on the conversation, she was thinking about you. How to tell you she loves you. How to give you all the world. With now the idea of the perfect date, the green-eyed woman came to her senses as she saw the closeness between her and the vigilante. 

Lena was about to speak only to be caught by her ex’s lips. She became paralyzed and pulled away after the shock felt of her.

Pulling away from James, before slapping him. As she exclaimed ”You do not have the right to do that, Mr. Olsen. Especially when I'm in a happy and healthy relationship with the love of my life. Now leave James, before I make security take you out and I filed a restraining order”

The tall guy looked at her in shock, before apologizing with tears in his eyes. Walking away immediately. 

Lena grabbed the tissue on her table before cleaning her lips. Without taking you out of her mind. How would she explain this to you? Was she going to lose you?.

Flashback ends

“So you didn't kiss him?” You said, your voice coming out as a scare and quiet whisper as both of you sitting on the couch. Tears coming down.

Lena with tears in her eyes, and fidgeting hands. She responded by cupping your face as she cleaned your wet cheeks. “No, Love. I don't want to kiss anyone else but you”

Her heartbreaking at the side of you begins vulnerable. Almost immediately you made her stumble on the couch as you cuddled into her. Clinging into her not wanting to let go. Scared she might go away if you do.

“Don't ever leave me” Coming out as a murmur from you, after you calmed down. Now blankets on top of both of you.

Lena as a response only brought you closer to her before kissing you softly. “It's always going to be you, darling”

Both of you stayed in your embrace, as the time passed. Having small affections during the way. Kisses and sweet words were exchanged. Catching up with the last few days you both stayed.

“I love you” Lena whispered in your lips after a long kiss. Both of you entangled in the other, having an intimacy that not only happens in bed but when you two are together.

You stumbled and looked at her astonished by her confession. Your heart busting out of your chest as you were left without any words. Lena looked at you scared, now with a frightened glance of your reaction as she tried to pull away from you.

You noticed her change, and immediately kissed putting all your love in there. Melting in her embrace as she pulled you closer. After the breathtaking kiss, leaving you both without breath, panting looking at each other, you spoke softly as you left small kisses around her face. “I love you too”

Lena's reaction was to pull you into a caring kiss, just to be broken by both of your smiles as you both looked into each other's eyes. With eyes and hearts full of love the two of you claimed at the same time “I love you”

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

Lena jumped and reached for the taser hidden under her desk as a red and blue blur came crashing through her balcony window, landing in the middle of her office in a pile of concrete and rucked up carpet.

She released her death grip on the taser and breathed out in relief at the realisation that this was not another surprise visit from one of her brother’s minions but rather National City’s resident superhero dropping in. (Literally).

This wasn’t quite how she imagined their first meeting but then when did her life ever go as expected.

Supergirl lay in the rubble, unmoving. Apart from her apparent lack of consciousness, she looked unharmed. Had Lena not just witnessed her crash through her very expensive wall, she might have thought the hero was simply taking a mid-fight power nap.

She gingerly stepped across the ditch that Supergirl’s landing had created in her floor and crouched down to assess the Super.

“Supergirl?” She briefly contemplated poking her to see if she responded but decided against it just in case it was taken as another Luthor attack.

Supergirl gasped and shot upright, almost giving Lena a heart attack in the process. She looked around in confusion for a moment before her eyes landed on Lena who had a hand clutched to her chest and was trying desperately not to curse like a sailor in front of National City’s golden girl.

Supergirl cleared her throat, standing and brushing building dust off herself. “Sorry about…” she gestured vaguely to the gaping hole now in the side of Lena’s office, “that. I’ll just…” She nodded towards the balcony and awkwardly went over to it, needlessly opening the door which now had no glass and half the frame missing.

Lena watched her stand tall, heroically raising her fists to the sky as she pushed off the ground and jumped less than two feet into the air. She stumbled and smacked into the balcony railing with an “oof”, doubling over and almost falling over the other side.

“Supergirl?!” Lena’s eyes widened and she rushed towards her as Supergirl slid to the floor with a groan.

The hero flopped over onto her back and lay on the balcony. “I think… I think I’m just going to lie here for a bit if that’s okay.”

She reached up and tapped at her ear a few times before removing what was presumably a communications device with a sigh and throwing it across the balcony.

“Sorry. I’ll clear that up in a bit.” She rolled her head to the side and looked through the balcony windows to the mess that had been Lena’s office. “...And that.” She looked up at Lena with a sheepish smile. “I don’t suppose you have a phone I could borrow?”

———

A few minutes later, Supergirl was sitting on Lena’s thankfully still intact couch, staring down at the dial numbers on Lena’s phone.

“You don’t know the number do you.” Lena had to stop herself from laughing at the way Supergirl threw her hands up with a grumpy pout, adorable crinkle between her eyebrows.

“Who remembers phone numbers anymore?!” She sighed and flopped back into the couch cushions, handing Lena her phone back with a halfhearted smile in thanks.

Lena got up and crossed her office, carefully stepping across the gulf in the middle and sitting down at her desk. “Well if you can give me a name, I may be able to find a number?”

Kara bit her lip, considering. She muttered something under her breath about being murdered and moved across the room to sit in the chair that still had all four legs on the other side of Lena’s desk. “Alex Danvers.”

Lena nodded and got to work hacking a few National City servers.

Supergirl shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You’re not um… this isn’t illegal, right?”

Lena glanced away from her screen to the hero for a moment and raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

———

It didn’t take long to find a number. Supergirl fidgeted in her seat the entire time and only stopped when Lena handed her phone back over and turned her screen around to show her the phone number of one Alex Danvers.

Supergirl lit up immediately and dialed the number.

Lena tried not to listen, she really did, but it was hard when Supergirl hadn’t even moved from the seat opposite her.

“Hey Alex, it’s K- …Supergirl.”

Lena bit her cheek to stop herself smiling and pulled up some work to pretend to do. She saw Supergirl grimace at whatever was being said out the corner of her eye.

“I know, I know. I’m fine - I just crashed into a building and solarflared. And my comms are broken. I may also need another phone. Can you get photos back from broken devices? Because I took a really cool picture of some birds earlier before I dropped my phone. …Those two things are totally unrelated.”

There was some faint complaining on the other end of the line and Lena discreetly pulled up the schematics for a prototype that could retrieve and restore data from practically any device.

“Um…” Supergirl not-so-subtly glanced towards Lena and angled herself slightly away. “Lena Luthor?”

Lena hoped this so-called solarflare affected all Supergirl’s powers or she would definitely have been able to hear the way Lena’s heart started thudding in her chest.

Supergirl’s crinkle returned and she loudly whispered down the phone in a way that made Lena understand why there were never any stories of Supergirl doing covert operations. “Alex! Will you stop it? She has been nothing but kind to me. If she wanted me dead, she would have tried it already - she knows I don’t have any of my powers right now.”

There was some more yelling on the phone.

“Well I think it would have been kinda hard to convince her I still had them after she saw me faceplant on her balcony.” There was silence for a moment and then Supergirl pouted at the sound of laughter. “Okay okay can you just come and get me now?”

———

It turned out that Alex could not in fact come and get Supergirl because whatever underground organisation she worked for (because it certainly wasn’t the def.B.I) were too busy chasing down the alien Supergirl had been fighting before she decided to visit Lena.

“I could get my driver to take you somewhere if you’d like?”

Supergirl shook her head. “Thanks but I wouldn’t be able to tell them the address. And Alex doesn’t like me wandering around without my powers.” She lifted her hand and almost poked herself in the eye before redirecting the movement to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear, a cute blush dusting her cheeks. “Would it be alright if I just stay here for a bit? I’ll be super quiet - you won’t even know I’m here.”

———

Despite all her abilities, super-quietness did not appear to be one of them.

Lena spent half an hour trying to continue working before she gave up, logging off her computer and turning to the Kryptonian currently hanging upside down on her couch and singing ABBA under her breath.

“I was just about to order some food. Would you like anything?”

Supergirl’s face lit up like an excited puppy and she fell off the couch in her eagerness to get up. She jumped to her feet, cape awkwardly twisted over her shoulder, and put her hands on her hips like nothing had happened. “Would I ever!”

Lena grinned and rounded her desk, picking up her phone to order. “What would you like?”

Apparently that was the wrong question to ask a Kryptonian because Lena spent the next half hour listening to Supergirl wax poetic about various fast foods before being coerced into ordering far too much food with absolutely no nutritional value and suffering through Jess’s alarmed and mildly concerned looks when said food arrived. She would certainly be recommending the company that soundproofed her office though if Jess still had no idea that there was a Super in there.

The coffee table was overflowing with Chinese takeout. Supergirl had skewered four potstickers on her chopsticks and ate them all in one go, cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk, before Lena even sat down. She made a pleased hum and smiled at Lena like this was perfectly normal before impaling another four.

Lena smoothed out her skirt and delicately picked up her own food, using proper chopstick etiquette.

“So. Lena Luthor, huh?”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Supergirl, huh?”

The Super considered her for a moment. “Kara Zor-El.” When Lena just frowned she added, “my name. Kara Zor-El.” At her continued look of shock and confusion, Kara shrugged and went back to eating like it was no big deal. “If you’re stuck with me for a bit and kind enough to feed me I figure you should at least get to call me something other than ‘Supergirl’.”

Lena rested her container of noodles on her knee and studied Kara. “Why do you trust me?”

Kara frowned. “Why would I not?”

“Because I’m a Luthor?”

Kara looked at her and for a terrifying moment Lena felt more seen than ever before. “Yes. You are. Lena Luthor. And as far as I know, Lena Luthor has done nothing to make me distrust her.”

Before Lena could even begin to form a response to that, Kara had picked up a new food container to start on and was telling her about a puppy she had seen earlier that week.

———

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true!” Kara turned to fully face her on the couch, flinging noodles around in her chopsticks as she talked. “It took me ages to learn to get the temperature just right - that’s the hardest bit really. Same with laservision - it took a lot of burnt popcorn before I could cook stuff with it. I use that all the time now though.”

Lena bit her lip to stop herself laughing at the image of Supergirl using her superpowers to make popcorn.

“Anyway - I swear I really did make it snow for Christmas one year. The weather reporters were so confused.”

Lena had to duck her head to hide the laugh trying to escape her. Kara was grinning dopily at her when she looked back up.

She raised an eyebrow. “I still don’t believe you.”

Kara’s jaw dropped and she made an affronted noise, dramatically standing, placing her food back on the coffee table, and putting her hands on her hips. She inhaled deeply and looked towards the ceiling, letting out a stream of freeze breath that drifted down in a flurry of snowflakes.

Lena laughed and stood, holding out her palms to catch some snow and watching it melt in her palms. Kara grinned smugly at the look of delight on Lena’s face.

It was at that moment that Jess walked through the door.

“Miss Luthor, there’s an Ale-” She cut herself off at the sight of her boss laughing with Supergirl in an office with a hole in the side of it, half the floor torn up, and more food than she had seen Lena eat in the past week piled up on the coffee table.

Lena cleared her throat, lowering her arms and putting back on her professional mask as though there weren’t snowflakes in her hair. “Yes Jess?”

Jess opened and closed her mouth a few times, eyes darting around the room, before she straightened up and looked back to Lena. “Alex Danvers is here. She says you’re expecting her?”

Lena nodded. “Yes. Thank you Jess. Please send her in.”

Jess left the room without another word and (presumably) Alex Danvers walked in. Her eyebrows rose as she took in the scene before her, eyes landing on a sheepish looking Supergirl.

Alex sighed and turned to Lena. “We’ll have a clean up crew with you as soon as possible, Miss Luthor.”

Lena shook her head, trying to bite back a smile as she saw Kara trying to nudge her carpet back over the dent in her floor with the toe of her boot. “No need, Ms Danvers. I’ve been wanting to renovate this office since I moved to National City anyway.”

Alex nodded and tried to subtly pull at Supergirl’s cape to get her to stop. She smiled politely. “We’ll leave you to your work then.”

She opened the office door and looked expectantly to Kara.

But before she left, Kara wrapped her ridiculously muscular arms around Lena and gave her a squeeze. It was like being hugged by a rock in a blanket and it was the best feeling Lena had ever experienced. Kara pulled back with a grin and a thank you before turning to Alex to follow her out.

It was only thanks to years of Luthor training that Lena managed to keep her composure. She definitely succeeded. She was sure of it. Alex’s smirk was entirely unrelated.

And if a woman who looked remarkably like Supergirl with glasses and a ponytail and was coincidentally also called Kara walked into her (newly redecorated) office behind Clark Kent a week later, who could blame her for making a few Supergirl jokes to make that cute blush appear. And for giving her her personal phone number. For future interviews, of course.

[horrorslashergirl]

I would..... like to request Jason, Michael, and whoever else you want being able to see the outline of their dick while they fuck their S/O. When you have time

Slashers seeing the outline of their dick while they fuck their s/o

Warning: Very NSFW content. 18+

Jason Voorhees

It was a nice and warm summer night and the campgrounds were silent and no trace of anybody, which made you happy, knowing Jason would spend more time with you.

That’s how you were now with your masked lover in bed, your lips leaving kisses all over his hockey mask, his big hands tracing your skin lightly, afraid to hurt you. He was always so gentle.

When he did thrust inside you, you gasped, your fingers digging into his biceps. Even after so many times his girth still surprised you, telling him to wait a minute and he did, he always listened to you.

His eyes looked down from your pleasure indulged face to your abdomen, seeing a bulge forming under your soft skin. There was no surprise for him, he knew how big he was in comparison with you and he felt a surge of arousal pulsing in his lower abdomen as he saw how the outline of his length twitched inside you.

“J-Jason...” you whimpered his name, feeling his cock brush every sensitive spot inside you.

A guttural groan left his mouth from behind the mask as you called on to him, his hips moving away from you, his gaze looking as the bulge disappeared from your skin as he took it out from you, leaving just the head in.

Another whimper from you, another groan from him, then pushed back inside again, the outline appearing again.

He loved the sight.

Michael Myers

There was no surprise that Michael liked it rough, no questions asked and you took everything he gave you with enthusiasm, but tonight he was so slow and you saw curiosity flash in his dark eyes behind the white mask.

His hips stilled into yours, his cock balls deep inside you, not moving an inch, making you wonder if you did something wrong.

“Michael?” you asked in a quiet voice, his eyes looking down at the skin of your lower abdomen, his hand moving from beside your head to the outline of his length inside you, brushing it and giving a cautious squeeze, making your legs shook and you heard a faint ‘fuck’ from behind the creepy white mask.

It was the first time he noticed this and he could feel a more animalistic emotion hit his body, the need to dominate you more; the feeling familiar but much more intense.

“Y-You’re just too big.” you stated, blush on your cheeks.

His gaze moved up to you, his head moving to the side in a cute manner, his length twitching inside you, your bruised lips forming an ‘o’ shape.

Yes, he knew how big he was and he loved to easily he could overpower you, in every aspect.

His face moved down towards yours, masked lips brushed against your ear and hair.

“I’m gonna destroy you.” your eyes widened as his raspy voice hit your ears.

It was so rare to hear his voice, but when you did, a shiver of fear and arousal hit your nerves.

The Collector/Asa Emory

Your hands and legs trembled as his hips pistoned into yours, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed into the bedroom you both shared, his faint groans music to your ears, knowing what you did to him.

His hands-on a bruising grip on the flesh of your hips, probably leaving purple marks in the morning, but you didn’t care as he hit your insides, your toes curling and arms almost falling down from the ecstasy that shakes your body.

Then everything stopped, his hips stilled, making you a confused mess that you almost hit your climax.

“W-What-” before you could finish your question, you felt his lips brush against your ear, shushing you.

His hands moved from your hips to your abdomen, fingertips brushing the prominent bulge his cock formed on your skin.

Your mind raced with thoughts of what Asa wanted to do, trying to turn your head and see him, only for one hand to leave your skin and fist your hair.

A warning growl hit your ears.

“Don’t move.” his command was simple and to the point, the hand that was still on your abdomen, gripped his length from your insides, making you let out a loud moan.

“That’s it.” his voice made you tremble along with his touches, a harsh grind from his body, making you gasp.

Oh, you knew he would take his time with you tonight.

Chromeskull/Jesse Cromeans

You shouldn’t be surprised that your 6′7 tall lover was so endowed down there, but still, every time it made your eyes widen and wonder how you will take it, but every time you managed to take it, with a lot of foreplay and Jesses’ hand over your mouth to stifle your screams.

Now you were on your back, legs over Jesses’ broad shoulders with his length inside you, feeling much hotter thanks to him not warning you that he was about to finish, his load making you feel all tingly inside.

What surprised you was that he was still hard, his hand brushing the outline on your abdomen, giving a squeeze here and there is a teasing manner.

“How are you still hard?” you asked him, your breath uneven from the intense workout he put you trough.

He just shrugged, giving you a smug smirk, proud of his manliness.

“Come on, Jesse...I’m gonna be so sore tomorrow.” you whined, only for him to grind on your sweat covered body, making you moan, your fingernails digging into his forearms.

His tattooed arms wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him, his body relaxing into yours, making your eyes widen.

“D-Don’t tell me that you want to sleep like this.” you said, hoping the answer would be a negative one.

He moved his head, coming face to face with you, only to kiss the tip of your nose, giving you the answer.

Brahms Heelshire

If there was something Brahms loved was to be as close to you as possible, not leaving you an inch of space, so you agreed that if you would spend tonight with him, he will have to give you three days just to yourself. With some persuasion, he agreed.

Now you were with him between your legs, giving slow thrusts inside you, your hands gripping the sheets under your bodies.

The eyes behind the mask, looking down your body as his length moved in and out of your heat, the outline of it appearing as he moved inside, his eyes full of curiosity and wonder.

Despite the fact that he was a fully grown man he still had that childlike wonder, always curious about everything and the image of you full of him made his chest rumble with pride.

“Brahms.” you moaned out his name, your legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer, your bodies brushing into each other, the smell of hot sex in the room making you both dizzy with arousal.

“You make me feel so good.” you praised him, knowing how much he loved to hear it, it made him feel loved and wanted, something that he longed for so many years of loneliness.

His hands cupped your face, his masked forehead resting on yours as your eyes locked on each other.

“I love you.” he said in his man voice, your arms wrapping around his body, your hips brushing his earlobe.

“I love you too, Brahms.”

Vincent Sinclair

Lips in a messy kiss, your hands gripped Vincents’ jet black locks of hair, pulling him closer over you, your hips rotating into his, hearing a quiet whimper coming from his throat, your inner muscles squeezing around his shaft.

“You’re so so handsome, Vinny.” you murmured into the kiss, his hands on your buttcheeks giving a squeeze to each one, trying to pull you more into him if that was possible.

Vincent got up, pulling you with him, your first instinct was to wrap your legs around his waist, your body now onto his lap as he was standing in a sitting position, his cock still inside you.

Your lips brushed against his face, a silent form of showing him how much you adored every part of his being, always assuring him that he was beautiful in your eyes.

Feeling his fingertips brush against the slight bulge in your lower abdomen your eyes looked down as does his, a smirk forming on your face.

“Well, aren’t you a big boy.” you whispered in his ear, your teeth nibbling on his earlobe, more whimpers coming from him.

His hips continued to grind into yours, never pulling out, the head of his cock brushing over and over again on your cervix.

“Right there, Vincent. Ohhh yes, baby.” you moaned, praised him with sweet words, your fingernails running up and down his back, occasionally playing with his soft hair that cascaded down his back.

How you loved these kinds of mornings.

Bo Sinclair

“That’s it, babydoll...Take it all.” his words made another wave of wetness coat his cock, his hands gripping your hips as he moved your body on his length.

Your back scrapping against the kitchen table, Bos’ eyes looking appreciatively over your sweat covered body, a smirk on his freshly shaved face.

“Bo...” you whimpered, your hands gripping the edge of the table.

He groaned, throwing his head back, his hair swiped back, semi-wet from the shower you both took 30 minutes ago.

Another deep thrust and he stilled inside you, still not finished, making you look up at him with a quizzical look on your blushing face. His index finger brushed down your sternum, between your breasts and stopping at the bulge on your skin, all because of him, the outline of his cock, making feel so aroused.

“I just love this look on you, sweetcheeks. So full of me.” he said, giving a shallow grind on your heat, making you whimper as the head of his cock brushed against your most sensitive spot.

You bite your lip at his words and felt his hand grip your chin.

“Now, now. You know what that does to me, doll.” he murmured, pulling your lower lip with his own teeth, sucking on it as his eyes bored into yours, making you shiver on the cold table.

You only hoped that Vincent or Lester wouldn’t come home too early.

[devine-star]

Left For Dead

Fandom: The Last Of Us 2

Jesse x Male Reader! 

Warnings: F slur is used, Homophobic character. 

Nothing else! Enjoy! 

Y/n rolled over groaning at the sound of knocking at the door "wake up lazy!" a kid's voice called. "Im comin..." he grumbled getting out of bed and opening the door to see the 13 year old girl smiling at him "We're on kitchen duty today Bugs!"

Y/n smiled at the nickname and ruffled her short hair "alright kid, let me get dressed." he closed the door and rubbed his eyes as he walked over to the closet; grabbing a pair of jeans, socks, a t-shirt and his jacket that was resting on the chair.

After a quick look over in the mirror, he headed outside to see June playing in the dirt "Come on ya rat," he said playfully causing her to jump up with a smile.

The walkthrough town was filled with greeting from everyone and chatter with June. "Look," she nudged Y/n "there's your boyfriend" she sang teasingly as she pointed to Jesse who was in a tank top and jeans helping unload some logs from a truck.

Y/n blushed and gently shoved the girl "shut up! He isn't my boyfriend" "You wish he was thouuuugh" she sang pushing her way into the cafeteria.

Y/n let their eyes linger on Jesse's arms and the sweat dripping down his back in the summer heat before blushing harder and making his way inside.  

"Bugs!" Seth greeted as Y/n walked into the kitchen "sup boss," he replied with a smile as he grabbed an apron off the hook and slid it over his head tying behind his back.

"Here, cut up these vegetables for me," Seth stepped away from the cutting board and bell peppers and other various vegetables "hey! I could do that!" June said happily.

"Not yet kid," Seth gruffed as he patted her on the shoulder "you're gonna wash the fruits and vegetables as they come in," June pouted "You always get the fun stuff," she hit Y/n's shoulder gently before stomping over to the sink.

In the midst of cutting and cooking the vegetables, Y/n got hot. He slid his jacket off and tossed it to the side before getting back to work; "hey Junnie! Turn some music on will ya?" he said over his shoulder.

After a while, Y/n began dancing a bit while he cut the vegetables and singing to himself. He pushed aside the carrots and grabbed some tomatoes and began cutting but soon stopped with a loud curse "fuck!" he held his finger close to his chest while hissing in pain, he cut himself.

"You always do that," a familiar voice came from behind him, he turned around and saw a very sweaty Jesse.

"Let me see," he said coming closer and holding out his hands, Y/n slowly placed his hurt hand into the hands of his crush with a slight blush.

He then followed Jesse over to the sink and watched as Jesse cleaned his wound with a focus on his face. "I could have cleaned it.." Y/n said softly looking down at the small slice in his finger.

"Yeah but you probably would have hurt yourself, even more, God of Destruction," he teased with a smirk before grabbing a clean stray towel and drying Y/n's hand.

"I am not THAT clumsy," he argued looking down at his hand once Jesse let go of it, "You aren't allowed on runs because Marie is scared you'll DIE" he laughed a bit before plucking up a carrot and popping it into his mouth.

"Hey! Your hands are dirty! Stop!" Y/n said taking the towel from his apron and slapping Jesse on the shoulder a few times. Jesse laughed and raised his hands "Alright alright," he chuckled shaking his head a bit.

"Oh hey, Jesse!" June said popping her head up over the ordering window with a goofy smile "Sup Junnie," he greeted with a wave.

Seth looked through the door "If you aren't assigned here son, ya gotta go," he scolded nodding his head towards the door.

"Fine fine, I'm out." Jesse turned to leave before turning back and winking at Y/n "See you at the bonfire tonight," Y/n blushed and went back to work after putting a bandaid on his finger, his mind running with possibilities of how the bonfire could go.

Later that night, Y/n was leaning against a building, beer in hand, watching the kids run around and the adults all laugh and have fun. "You wanna play tag with us Bugs?" June asked running up to him with a group of kids behind her "Nah you go ahead this time Junnie," he waved off causing her to shrug and run off after slapping a boy called Ian "Tag!"

About 2 hours into the bonfire, Y/n hadn't seen Jesse not one bit he asked around a few times and no one has seen him. Anxiety grew slightly as he realized Jesse was out on the River Route; He was careful but there was always a chance.

Y/n had made his way closer to the fire and was sitting on a bucket bitting his thumb as he stared into the fire with nothing but bad thoughts running through his head. Nothing but images of Jesse being bitten and him turning into a runner or a clicker...

"Fuck!" Y/n called out of fear as a hand was slapped on his shoulder scaring the shit out of him. He snapped his head up and there stood Jesse, hands on his hips with a smirk "Hey Buggie" he said

Y/n jumped up and hugged him tightly "my anxiety.." he mumbled as he buried his face in Jesse's neck.

"Woah...Woah.." Jesse chuckled a bit hugging Y/n tightly before frowning as he felt his neck get wet "A-are you crying?" he pulled away and looked at Y/n with shock "Hey..Hey, I'm okay!" he said calmly with a smile before glancing around "let's get you outta here...Too many people for your anxiety,"

Y/n stumbled his way out of the bonfire, his vision going blurry and black every now and then as a full-blown anxiety attack racked his body. He didn't know where Jesse was taking him or what Jesse was trying to say to calm him down all he knew was that it was hard to breathe and felt like the summer heat was suffocating him.

Y/n was pulled into a building and sat on a couch, the sound of an A/C turning on was noted in his mind as he began tearing his clothes off himself. First his jacket, then his shirt and as he began to remove his pants, two hands stopped him "stop, stop, you dont need to take everything off," Jesse said calmly.

He sat next to Y/n before kind of laying against the side of the couch and pulling Y/n into his chest and pressing his head against his chest.

Y/n gripped onto Jesse as hard as he could as he tried to even his breathing, and focus on Jesse playing with his head and humming softly to him.

About an hour passed before Y/n was calm enough to stop crying and to breathe evenly with small little huffs every now and then.

"What caused that..." Jesse asked softly looking down at him with worry in his eyes. "I thought...I thought you were dead...or got bitten.." he explained closing his eyes tightly "my mind wouldn't stop playing the image of you being bitten and turning and-and" he began shaking his head as tears returned.

"Hey! Stop!" Jesse sat up and held Y/n's head in his hands "look at me, look at me in my eyes!" Y/n opened his eyes slowly before looking up at Jesse, his eyes meeting and seeing nothing but fear and worry reflect back at him.

"I'm okay! Not bitten, I'm here with you!" Jesse said sternly as he gently rubbed his thumbs over Y/n's cheeks. "I'm here with you.." he said softer this time with a gentle smile.

Y/n took a stuttering breath and sighed before smiling gently. "I..I'm sorry," he mumbled searching Jesse's face for any sort of annoyance.

"It's okay, You're one of my best friends, I..I would have reacted the same way.." Jesse said finally letting go of Y/n's face once he realized how close their faces were.

Y/n leaned back trying to ignore the blush that was on his face before taking notice of the one on Jesse's and choosing to ignore it.

"Yeah...We gotta look out for each other.." Y/n mumbled wiping away a fear stray tears before looking towards the clock on his bedside "it's midnight," he noted out loud "Don't you have patrol tomorrow?"

He looked back at Jesse to find him already staring at him when he didn't answer right away, Y/n snapped his fingers "hey," Jesse jumped a bit and blinked a few times "huh?" he looked towards the clock "oh, yeah I do...That's another reason I came to find you tonight."

Y/n narrowed his brows and tilted his head a bit "What?" "Maria wants you to go on route tomorrow with Thomas," he said scratching the back of his neck before sighing "She wouldn't allow you to come with me, says we'd be too distracted..."

Y/n nodded a bit "Oh..Okay.." he slowly stood and stretched his muscles "Thanks for letting me know," "You arent scared?" Jesse asked standing up.

"No, Before I came here, I dealt with millions of those fuckers" Y/n said with a shrug "I'm a good shot," he shook his head a bit before looking over at Jesse. "I may be a bit rusty, but I'll do it," he crossed his arms.

Jesse walked closer and placed his hands on Y/n's shoulders "be careful...I.." he stopped before looking away "care about you," he finished patting Y/n's shoulders and heading out the door.

Y/n couldn't stop his heart as his heart fluttered as Jesse walked out the door, "he cares for me..." he mumbled with a small smile, he hadn't heard Jesse say that much but every time he doe, it drives him crazy.

The next morning Y/n wiped the sweat from his brow as he made his way to the stables, it was early but still, it was hot already. "Morning Bugs"

He looked over his shoulder as June came jogging down the street after him, he slowed a bit so she could catch up. "Hey June," he said sleepily "What are you doing up so early?" She asked.

"I could ask you the same thing kid," he gently bumped shoulders with the surprisingly tall girl. "I got called for stable duty, you?" "Im on route duty,"

June burst into laughter before hitting his shoulder "No! Seriously!" "I was! Why do you think I have my pack with me?" He asked jutting a thumb over his shoulder to the pack on his back.

June stopped with a look of fear "Youre serious?"

For as long as the two have known each other, Y/n hadn't been called for Route duty, but now that he has; June was scared.

"Don't worry JuneBug, We're the two Bugs! can't be separated!" He ruffled her hair as they approached the stables to see all the routes people there.

"Hey Y/n," Thomas said gruffly, he was a man in his mid-30s, never really liked Y/n. "Hey, I'm your route partner today!" he said trying to sound cheerful, "So I've been told," he said rolling his eyes "Pat's in there," he nodded his head towards the stable.

"Wow, grumpy," June said following Y/n into the stables "Yeah, ever since we met he hasn't liked me," Y/n shrugged "Just always tried to be nice but, guess he isn't willing to do the same."

Y/n smiled as Pat came into view, his horse he saved from infected a long time ago. "Hey girl!" he said happily as she snorted and stomped feet at the sight of her owner.

Once everyone was gathered at the gate Jesse began his briefing "Follow your routes, take out infected if you come into contact with anything you can't handle," he glanced Y/n's way "come back,"

The gates opened and everyone was off their own ways, Jesse glancing over his over to catch a glimpse of Y/n trying to make conversation with Thomas as they left "be safe Buggie..." he mumbled before heading off.

Pat clipped and clopped as she walked through the river with Y/n on her back, he wiped sweat from his face with a rag as him and Thomas road into the city.

The sound of infected coming from a nearby building caught his attention "Tom," he called holding out a hand then bringing a finger to his lips. He dismounted his horse and made his way towards a grocery store and peering into a boarded window "infected inside," he mumbled looking back at Thomas.

He stepped back and sighed "Let's get in the-" "You don't call me that," Y/n looked back at Thomas confused "what?" "You call me Thomas, I ain't Tom to you," he glared "Oh okay, sorry, I just figured-" "Figured you could use it cause Tommy lets you call him that?" he rolled his eyes "Call me Thomas or nothin at all,"

Y/n nodded before shaking his head and beginning to search for a way in, "Thomas, over here," he called before pulling himself into a broken window and jumping inside.

He quickly hid behind an overturned vending machine as he heard the infected. Thomas hopped in and hid next to him before he moved to take out a nearby infected.

Y/n did the same taking out the knife Jesse gave him and attacking a clicker from behind. Once done he noticed a half-open door, "over here," he said moving towards it and climbing under it and shimmying through.

He noticed all the infected in the room and quickly turned back and quietly said "come on Thomas, Ill lift this and you crawl through."

But he didn't see Thomas behind him "Thomas?" he whisper-yelled. He then had to quickly move out of the way as he saw a makeshift noise bomb come through the whole. He stumbled to the side as fear raised in his chest "Thomas!" He yelled in surprise.

The bomb went off alerting all the infected of Y/n's position "Good luck getting out faggot!" Thomas yelled laughing before covering the door with the vending machine.

"No! Help me!" Y/n yelled in fear before he began to fight off the infected. This had to be a whole hoard lured into the grocery store by someone or something.

"Fuck!" He cried as he pulled out his gun and began shooting infected one by one, soon running out of bullets. He took out his knife and ran, hiding every now and then.

He let out a loud yell as he was attacked from behind, he stumbled, fell before reaching around and pushing off the infected and stabbing it on the throat.

Y/n fought for his life for around 2 hours before collapsing exhausted.

The silence in the room rung his ears, pain from scratches after being thrown to the ground and shoved against shelves. And he had even accidentally cut his own hand trying to stab an infected in the throat.

Tears streamed his face as he stumbled around collecting what little supplies there was before pushing open a door revealing what looked to be a worn-down hold-up area. It had a bed and a few crates of stuff.

He collapsed onto the bed and groaned in pain, 'why would Thomas do that?' he thought to himself. The last words were spoken to him ringing in his head before he finally caught what the last word was "faggot" Thomas hated him because he was...bi? Gay? Hell y/n didn't know what he was...

But before he could contemplate what his sexuality was, blackness overcomes his senses and he passed out.

Thomas climbed back out of the building hear Y/n scream for help, ignoring it he made his way back over to the horses and unclipped Pat's saddle and pulling it off "get outta!" he called spooking the horse and it ran a few feet before looking back, she didn't wanna leave without Y/n.

Thomas rolled his eyes at the white and black spotted horse before hiding the saddle in the trunk of an abandoned car and sighing.

He then took his knife out and began ripping his own clothes and wincing as he cut himself up and smeared blood all over himself, "that'll do," he grumbled climbing on his horse and heading off towards Jackson once again.

Once he got close to Jackson, he started fake crying, if he wanted people to buy the fact that he and Y/n were actually attacked by a hoard; he had to fake it well.

Once at the Eastside gate he started yelling to open the gate, once inside he got off his horse while fake crying "Y/n was mauled!" he cried out catching Jesse's attention from the stables.

Jesse ran from the stables over to Thomas "What? What happened?!" Thomas looked at him and clung to him "I tried to save him, Jesse! The hoard! I couldn't save him or his body!" he cried.

Jesse pushed off Thomas as he felt his heartbreak "You said you would keep him safe!" he yelled as tears began to run down his face. "I tried!" Thomas yelled back, obviously lying.

"I have to go get him!" Jesse cried rushing to his horse "Jesse stop!" it was Tommy and Maire "he's dead meat out there!" Tommy grabbed Jesse before he could get onto his horse and held him back.

"What's going on? Where's Y/n?" Jesse looked over to see June "June.." he said softly "No...You're lying!" she cried, immediately knowing what was happening. Jesse pulled his arms from Tommy and made his way to June, pulling her into a tight hug "Im sorry June... it was a hoard.." she pushed him away.

"Y/n was a good shot! Always careful! Something must have happened!"

Later that night Jesse sat on the porch of Y/n's house, he was flipping through his sketchbook with tears in his eyes. Something must have happened...Y/n was always careful, he may have been one clumsy son of a bitch but he was careful whenever outside the gates...

Determination filled Jesse's body, he stood grabbing his bag and slinging it on his shoulders and storming off to the stables, he was going to get Y/n.

When Y/n woke it was dark outside, his body was on fire as he slowly sat up. Memories of what happened flooded back and he sighed before standing. But his legs didn't hold him up, he fell to the ground of pain filled his stomach; hunger.

Y/n didn't eat that morning or the night before and Thomas had the route food. He looked around and got on his hands and knees he didn't know what to do...

Jesse gripped the reins of his horse as he looked back and forth with his flashlight, he didn't see or hear any infected. If there were a hoard he would have heard them by now.

He stopped and jumped out of fear as he saw a flash of black and white run across the road by the grocery store up the road. He looked around with the flashlight before slowly moving forward and dismounting his horse once close enough.

He slowly made his way closer to the grocery store then yelled in fear as the white and black spotted horse reared its legs and whined loudly "Pat!" he yelled "Woah girl! Woah Girl!" he called out calming her down and whistling for his horse to come closer.

"What are you doing girl? Where is your saddle?" he asked eyeing the horse who whined and scratched the ground with her head looking towards the boarded-up store.

Jesse looked at her then back at the store and nodded a bit patting her nose gently.

He then climbed inside the same window Y/n had and quietly listened, he heard a body fall to the ground with a thud and moan; infected. He searched the room he was in the noticed the vending machine in front of the door; he pushed it out of the way as quietly as possible and noticed the opening.

Crawling through the opening was kind of hard, once through he pushed the cabinet out of the way and opened the door fully in case he needed a quick escape.

The flashlight shown across the room showed nothing but dead bodies, no live ones. He then noticed an open door on the other side of the room, 'clear it and look for supplies' he thought to himself.

Once inside the room he noticed it was an old holdup, he looked around the room; empty. He walked further into the room then gasped as someone attacked him from behind "hey!" he called out struggling with the person.

Y/n was flipped over the shoulders of the intruder and had a gun pointed at their face. They used one hand to shield the light from the flashlight attached to the person's backpack "Please dont.." he whimpered.

"Y/n?!" he looked closer after the light was turned down "Jesse?" he asked hopefully hoping this wasn't some pain and hunger-induced hallucination.

"You're alive!" Jesse cried pulling him close and hugging him for dear life.

Y/n hugged back tears coming down in streams "you came for me," he whimpered "of course I did, when Thomas came back all cut up and fake crying, I knew something happened..." he said pulling away and holding Y/n's face in his hands again.

"He did this.."Y/n whispered closing his eyes and leaning into his touch "what?" "Once I got through the door to clear the infected, he threw a noise bomb, told me 'good luck getting out faggot' and he ran," Y/n said sobbing softly.

Jesse's anger was almost overflowing but for now, he needed to get Y/n back to Jackson. "Think you can walk? Pat is still outside," Y/n nodded and they slowly made their way outside.

"Where is her saddle?" Y/n asked leaning against Jesse for support. "I don't know, but you can ride with me, I'll lead her back home."

The arrival back to Jackson was filled with rushing to get Y/n medical attention and yelling. Jesse waving a gun in Thomas' face yelling at him for leaving Y/n the way he did.

Once things calmed down, Jesse visited Y/n at home, his injuries weren't serious so he was fed and sent home.

Jesse knocked on the door, that next morning. A soft "come in," prompted him to open the door and peek his head in before going in.

"How you doin Bug?" he asked sitting next to Y/n on the bed. "I'm okay, better now that I'm fed," he chuckled setting down the book he was reading and looking over at Jesse.

"Thomas is being kicked from the town," Jesse said flat out "I.."Y/n looked away with his eyebrows crunched "because of me?"

"Hey, he left you to die," Jesse used his hand to bring Y/n's face to look at him "He might as well have murdered you himself, that goes against all our town rules and morals Y/n"

Y/n nodded gently and sighed looking up at Jesse "Thank you.." he whispered "For looking for me," Jesse smiled a bit and shrugged "I couldn't leave you to die, I.." he bit his lip and looked away.

Y/n felt annoyance fill him, he shifted until he sat up "you what?" he said, he's tired of Jesse doing this "Care for you," he said looking back.

"You always do that..." he said shaking his head and picking up his book again "do what?"

Y/n looked at him before dropping the book back onto the bed and getting out of it limping away from Jesse "You always go 'I...care about you,' like you don't mean it or something, it annoying"

"I do care for you!" Jesse argued, standing and following behind him "Then prove it!" Y/n said turning around and throwing his hands in the air "I just saved your life!" Jesse shouted moving closer.

"That's...that not what I meant.." Y/n said with a cold laugh and crossed his arms leaning against his desk.

"After all these years Jesse...After years of flirting with you..you still don't get it, do you?" Jesse furrowed his brow and crossed his arms and slowly moved forward.

"What do you mean?" he asked stopping in front of Y/n, who refused to look at him. "Look at me," Y/n refused "Look at me" Jesse grabbed Y/n's chin and made him look up and in his eyes.

Y/n couldn't help himself, he lunged forward pressing his lips against Jesse's and wrapping his arms around his neck. He poured his heart and soul out into that kiss hoping that Jesse would understand what he was trying to say.

He slowly pulled away and stared at Jesse's shocked face "Get it now?" his voice was soft and filled with anxiety, hoping he didn't just ruin a wonderful friendship.

Jesse nodded before leaning over and capturing Y/n's lips in another kiss, this time it was fast and needy. Teeth clashed and hands were in hair, Jesse lifted Y/n up onto the desk and moved closer to him, soft grunts leaving the two men in the process.

A knock on the door interrupted them. They pulled away panting for air "Y/n!!" a voice yelled from outside the door, June.

Jesse stepped away and Y/n stepped off the desk, he then limped over to the door and opened it.

June lunged at him hugging him tightly causing him to fall to the floor unexpectedly. "Woah! June!" Y/n laughed and Jesse rushed forward and pulled June off of Y/n "Careful June, he's still sore,"

June looked towards Jesse then back at Y/n, noting their messy hair and flushed faces "And what were you two doing in here?" She giggled smirking a bit "Shut up," Jesse blushed and playfully kicked her from her spot on the floor.

[pixiegrl]

I’m Back in My Body

Luke has a conversation with KayKay that pushes him to re-consider his own gender identity.

Hello all. This was born out of @daydadahlias and I chatting about KayKay in their latest fic and Jess reminded me of part of this series, where I had KayKay come out as non-binary and in turn, it helped Luke come out as non-binary. KayKay uses she/they pronouns and Luke uses he/they pronouns. So thank Jess for pushing me to finish this part of the series. I’ve been thinking about Luke’s gender in this series for a while and Jess gave me the push i needed to explore it. 

Big thanks to @tigerteeff for many things: the original push to write this series, to keep going with this series, for the encouragement of having Luke and KayKay be non-binary. Heath has inspired many parts of this series and I love them for it. Also thanks to @lifewasradical, for the help on this doc and the constant love and support I really wouldn't be half the writer I am without you I love you thanks for putting up with me. And to Mandie, Molly, Brooke and Meg for reminding me to do what I love and listening to me while I ranted about writing. Love you guys.

on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29793279

As far as days go, it’s a pretty average Tuesday. Ashton’s out doing some music things with his friend Matt and Michael and Calum are doing their own weird MikeyandCal things that had sounded vaguely close to sexual. Luke had pouted about being left until Ashton had kissed him and told him it was healthy to spend time apart. Luke doubts it, but it also gives him some free time to go hang out with (harass) Sierra and KayKay at the store. 

Luke shows up close to noon, blowing through the door in a floral sundress and heeled gold boots. It had been one of those mornings, when Luke had looked at all of his pants and felt uncomfortable at the thought of anything masculine. The weather’s nice enough for sundresses now, a relief to Luke’s scratchy brain when he’d put it on. It’s a dress Sierra recommended once, all soft pinks and bright flowers and he wants Sierra to see it. 

Sierra’s standing at the counter, clicking around on her laptop. She grins when she spots Luke, waving him over.

“Luke! Just the person I was hoping to see. I’m putting the final touches on those photos you wanted for Ashton’s gift. Come look!” She waves him over. Luke grins, crossing the store to lean over the counter and look at her computer. 

Luke looks good in them, propped up and posed on the couch they’d used, in his bed (which had taken some convincing to get Ashton out of the house long enough without him suspecting what was going on). Luke looks soft and delicate, pink lips and soft curls and wrapped in lace and bows.

“They look so good, Si. How’d you manage to make me look so good?” 

“Thank KayKay. Without them taking the photos, they wouldn’t look so good. I can only do so much in editing. You’re easy to photograph and KayKay took such good photos of you.”

“I’m not a particularly good model. KayKay’s just really good.”

“Give yourself some credit Luke,” Sierra says, smacking Luke on the arm. He blushes. 

“Where is KayKay anyway?”

“In the back. Why don’t you go see them?” Sierra says, going back to the laptop. Luke nods, rounding the counter and going behind the curtain. KayKay’s sitting at the table in the back on a computer. KayKay glances up at Luke and that’s when he notices the name badge. It has KayKay’s name on it, but under that is listed they/them. Luke stops.

“Hey Luke,” they say smiling, holding their hand out to Luke. Luke sits down next to them, looking down at the name badge.

“Hey KayKay. Sierra was just showing me the photos. Are the pronouns new?” Luke blurts out, questions running through his mind. 

“No. Some days are just more they days and today is one of them, so I put my pronouns on my nametag. No confusion that way.”

“What do you mean they days?” 

“I’m non-binary Luke. Sometimes I have days where I feel comfortable being a woman and some days I don’t feel gender connected at all.”

“I...I didn’t know about that,” Luke says, quietly. The words stick with him, something about the feeling about them sitting heavy in his chest. He can’t place what it is about what KayKay’s said that’s sticking with him, but he’s just on the edge of it as he stares at their face.

“Did you really not know I was non-binary?” 

“I guess I just never paid attention to some of the cues or the pronouns you two used or whatever. I feel so stupid now.” 

“If you had misgendered me, I would have said something.” 

“What does it mean?” 

“What does what mean?” 

“Being non-binary. What does it mean for you?” 

KayKay shrugs, pushing a strand of hair behind their ear. Luke tracks the movement, trying to focus on it, to stop the panic in his own chest that he can’t place. 

“I just don’t always feel right in my own body. Sometimes I wake up and I feel okay. I feel like this is who I am. That I’m a woman and it’s okay. That that’s how I want to present myself and be seen by the world as on those days. Some days I wake up and I know it’s not one of those days. I know it’s not going to be a day where I feel right with myself. I feel a disconnect from the person I am. Sometimes feeling right with myself means I don’t feel like a woman. I just feel like me, no gender attached. It changes how I present myself, how I want the world to see me. Sometimes I don’t want to be seen at all. I just want to exist without anyone labeling me or who I am. Some days I don’t mind the labels. Some days I’m indifferent. Some days it feels like I can’t handle it if someone gives me a gendered label and I have to correct them. Everyone’s different but that’s how I feel,” they say, smiling over at Luke, soft and slow. Luke swallows, feels his chest tighten a little bit. 

“Oh,” Luke whispers, wrinkling up his nose. A lot of what they’re saying feels a little too close to home for Luke. The feeling of unrest in their body, of not feeling connected to the image they’re putting on. How the idea of how other people’s perception was wrong to how they were feeling. It all feels too close to how Luke feels. The sense of unease on some days when interviewers would call them all boys. The fact that the lingerie and dresses blur the lines of who Luke is. That no matter how nice it is, seeing the look of want and desire on Ashton’s face when he sees what Luke’s wearing, it was never about that. It was always about Luke’s ability to breathe, the warmth in his chest, the feeling of security he got whenever he put it all on. It was always about how he felt like it was coming home, getting to see himself in the mirrors, see the delicate lines and soft angles, crying the illusion of softness and femininity to his body, the tightness easing when he sees himself in the mirrors. Luke thinks he might be crying, feels the pressure at the back of his eyes.

“Luke, have you really never thought about this before?” KayKay asks, voice soft. Luke turns to face them, sees the look of concern on their face. Luke just shakes his head, pressing his face into his crossed arms. He’s trying so hard not to cry, doesn’t want KayKay to see him like this, even if they’re his friend. He hates when anyone who isn’t Ashton sees him at his lowest. 

“I guess I didn’t want to. I had one teenage panic about my sexuality. I already had the crisis about wearing lingerie and the dresses and everything else. I have had so many fucking crisises. I’m supposed to be happy now, why can’t I just be happy with who I am,” Luke mumbles. He sniffs, trying to stop the tears from flowing. KayKay sighs, scooting closer till they’re pressed against Luke’s side. They wrap their arms around him in a pseudo hug, resting their head on top of his. 

“Luke, honey, describe to me again how you feel when you wear everything?”

“Happy. I feel so happy. I put the first pair of panties on and it just felt right. I haven’t fit right in my own body since I had my growth spurt when I got all broad and tall. I used to hate looking at myself because I felt too big and masculine and I just miss feeling delicate and it did that. It made me feel delicate and lovely and I felt like I could breath. And I have some days where just wearing them underneath my shirts and trousers are enough, where I feel masculine and that’s okay. But I have some days, where I have to wear it all. I have to put on the dress and the heels and I go out in all of it, where I want to deck myself out, I want to be as feminine as possible. I had someone call me Miss in the store once,” Luke says. KayKay hums. 

“How did you feel?” 

“About?” 

“Her perception of you.” 

Luke pauses, considering it. He hasn’t thought about the incident in months. It was one of the few days where he’s gotten dressed up and gone out in public without any of the guys and without going to Sierra and KayKay’s store. He’d woken up feeling itchy in his own skin, kept pulling on layers, the bra and panties not doing anything on their own. He’d had to put on a whole thing, long flowing summer dress and wedges, makeup to match, until he’d felt comfortable enough to look in the mirror. He’d gone to Ulta and ended up poking around the makeup until a sales associate had come over, called him Miss, asked if he needed anything. She’d asked for his name and without thinking he’d said Liz. He doesn’t know what made him say it, knows that even if he had said Luke no one would have cared, but something in the moment made him want to be feminine. He’s never told anyone this before, took the memory home with him. He never even told Ashton about it, the way the feeling of it had settled in his chest, having someone look at him and see feminine.

“It felt okay. Having someone see me and see feminine it just felt so good. I have to be Stage Luke all the time, that it just felt nice to have someone see me and not wonder. But I don’t feel female enough either, ” Luke says. 

“Maybe that’s what it means for you. For me, being non-binary means I have some days where I feel like a woman, like that’s who I am and some days where I just feel like I’m not, where I don’t feel connected to my gender at all. For you, maybe it means some days you feel more masculine and comfortable being a man and sometimes you don’t feel that way at all. Maybe some days you feel more feminine.” 

“Is that allowed?” 

“Luke sweetie, it’s you. It’s all about how you perceive yourself, what you think of yourself as. There’s no right way or wrong way to be non-binary. That’s the beauty of it. It’s all up to you,” Kaykay says. Luke rolls the words around in his head, thinking about them. Thinks about what it means to have a word to describe how he’s feeling, the sense of who he is. Luke’s never felt all the way “female” exactly, but he does have days where that feels closer to who he is than “male” does. 

“Is it?”

“It is. It’s all a personal experience. That’s the wonderful thing about personal gender experiences. They’re unique to each person,” KayKay says, smiling at Luke, squeezing his arm. Luke smiles at them, pressing his face into their shoulder. 

“I think today is one of those days for me. I woke up and I thought about what I wanted to wear today and the idea of anything masculine made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t feel comfortable until I went through my whole routine.”

“So maybe today is a they day,” KayKay says softly. Luke rolls the words around in his head.

“I think maybe it is. I think today I want to try it,” Luke says softly. KayKay nods. It’s different to think about, trying to wrap their head around it, but it feels good. Thinking about themselves like that, removing the idea of being one or the other and just existing. 

“I’m proud of you Lu. I’m here if you need anything,” KayKay says, kissing them on the temple. Luke smiles, turning to face KayKay.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime. Now, I heard there were photos to show you. Come on, let’s gush about how pretty you are,” KayKay says, pulling Luke to their feet. Luke grins. It feels right, something about it just feels right.

***

When Luke gets home, Ashton’s car is already in the driveway. Luke sits in the car for a bit, tapping their fingers against the steering wheel. They’ve been thinking about the conversation since talking to KayKay, how to talk to Ashton about it. Luke doesn’t know if it’s too soon or whatever to talk to Ashton about how they’re feeling, but Luke wants Ashton to know. They want Ashton to know they’re exploring themselves and what it means to Luke. Luke’s nervous about how Ashton’s going to respond to it, but it’s Ashton. Luke’s pretty sure there’s nothing they could really do to upset Ashton at this point, easy-going, loving Ashton.

Luke turns off the car engine, leaving the car and heading up the steps to their front door.

“Hey Ash,” Luke calls, coming through the front door. They hear the sounds of Petunia’s nails on the floor, rushing to the door to demand attention from Luke. Luke gladly gives it to her, dropping to their knees and cooing at her.

“In the kitchen darling,” Ashton calls. Luke scoops up Petunia, making their way through the house, finding Ashton at the kitchen table. He’s clicking around on his laptop, frowning.

“What’s up Ash?”

“Looking for tickets to Australia. Fucking complicated to find anything on short notice.”

“Not expensive?”

“We’re rockstars baby,” Ashton teases, looking up at Luke. He’s wearing his glasses, smiling enough that his dimples are showing. Luke giggles, setting Petunia down so that they can climb into Ash’s lap, press a kiss to his lips. Ashton returns the kiss happily, squeezing Luke’s hips, letting Luke sling their arms around Ashton’s shoulders.

“You look nice,” Ashton says.

“Thanks. Felt like a good day for it. Went to see Sierra and KayKay.”

“How was it?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Luke says, figuring it’s better to get it over with. Ashton furrows his brow, letting Luke settle into his lap before turning away from his computer to face him.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“KayKay was talking to me about how they’re non-binary and I think I might be too. They were describing it and I just...I felt so connected to that. I don’t always feel right in my body. Sometimes I feel like Luke, like I’m okay in my own body, and sometimes I just don’t. I don’t feel quite female, but sometimes I just feel more feminine and that’s how I want the world to see me. I’m not sure what it all means, but I want to explore it.” 

“Oh Luke sweetie, of course you can. Whatever you need darling, I’m right here for you. Is today one of those days?”

“Yeah. I think it is. It just feels like it,” Luke says. Ashton nods, face open and understanding. Luke doesn’t have the words to keep describing how they’re feeling over and over again today, but Ashton’s easy acceptance and love feels good. It reminds Luke that they don’t have to figure everything out today, that they have time. They have time and they have the words to describe how they’re feeling and they have Ashton. Everything else will fall into place after that.

***

Luke waits a couple weeks before sitting down with Michael and Calum to talk about it. Luke spends the time between their revelation and sitting down to talk to the guys. It gives Luke some time to explore what their gender means for them, wrap their head around the words. KayKay is sweet about it, giving Luke answers and resources where they fail to have the answer. Between KayKay’s support and Ashton’s easy acceptance, it’s helped Luke figure out what they want to do. Luke’s still not sure how to come out to their family or even to their fans, but Luke knows that the only way to do that is to talk to Michael and Calum. Luke hasn’t come out to anyone except for Ashton yet. It feels right though, taking the first leap and telling the guys. Luke’s hoping that telling their closest friends will ease some of the tension and uncertainty of having to tell everyone else.

Ashton and Luke set up lunch with Michael and Calum, invited them over. It felt better, doing it in their own home, in a place of comfort. Luke’s nervous though, has been since they got up that morning, got dressed. Luke’s put on another sundress for the day, opting to blur their gender lines again, on a day where it feels the most appropriate. 

Michael and Calum showed up about an hour again, bringing some fruit salad with them to lunch. Luke’s been trying to work up the courage throughout all of lunch, find a way to work it naturally into the conversation. There hasn’t been a time yet and the longer Luke waits, the more nervous they get. Ashton’s been wonderful, pressed close to Luke and squeezing their thigh to comfort them. It’s just about the end of lunch when Luke finally finds a natural place in the conversation to finally bring it up.

“I have something to tell you guys,” Luke says when the conversation dies down.

“You’re leaving Ashton for Troye Sivan,” Michael says, tone teasing.

“I’m not...what is that the first person you think of?” Luke asks. Michael shrugs.

“You’ve decided to leave the band to become a mime,” Calum chimes in, grinning.

“Okay, I’m never letting either of you guess ever again,” Luke says, swatting at Ashton as he continues to laugh with Michael and Calum.

“Alright, alright what did you want to tell us?” Michael asks, when he finally stops. Luke frowns, lump in their throat. Ashton reaches over, squeezing their hand. 

“I’m non-binary. Everyone’s gender expression for identifying is different, but for me it means that someday I feel masculine and comfortable being Luke and being male. Somedays, I feel more feminine. I don’t want to be a woman necessarily, but I want to be seen as more feminine. I want to be less gendered,” Luke says, swallowing, chest tight. Michael reaches across the table, holding his hand out palm up, signaling for Luke to take his hand. Luke reaches out, letting Michael grab their hand and squeeze.

“What can we do for you?” Calum asks.

“Some days I want to use he/him pronouns and some days I want to use they/them pronouns. I’ll start telling you guys in the morning how I feel, especially if we’re doing interviews or public appearances, so I don’t get misgendered or have anyone refer to me with gendered words. I don’t want to change my name, I like Luke. I just want to adjust how the world perceives me. And I don’t know how to come out online or what to say to our management,” Luke says. 

“Fuck management. You gotta do what’s important for you. Say whatever you want online, we’ll back you up,” Michael says, all determination and indignation. 

“But what about our fans? Or the online response? I still have to worry about that,” Luke points out.

“Fuck them if they don’t want to respect you. I don’t need those fans,” Calum says. Luke swallows trying to blink back their tears. Michael and Calum leave their seats, wrapping Luke up in a hug and pressing soft kisses to their head. Luke knows it’s not that simple, can’t just say fuck it to what management will think or how their fanbase will respond. Luke knows it can’t be simple, coming out, expressing their gender publicly. Maybe the first step is for Luke to change their pronouns on their twitter and instagram bios, letting the world find out as they check their page. Getting to see the fan reaction that way would be incredible, pouring out support for them and letting them know how valid they are without having to make a big declaration about it. Luke knows it’s going to be interviews and explanations, trying to talk to people about who they are, but it’s nice. The easy love and acceptance from their friends, knowing that no matter what, they have Ashton and Michael and Calum on their side. The world’s a little brighter for Luke, getting to be themselves, getting to be happy, getting to do it all with their friends. Right here, wrapped up in the guys and their hug, the world feels brighter and full of love and possibilities. 

[theheartsmistakes]

The Last Night Part XXIV

Parts I-XXII:

Here is Part I

Here is Part II

Here is Part III

Here is Part IV

Here is Part V

Here is Part VI

Here is Part VII

Here is Part VIII

Here is Part IX

Here is Part X

Here is Part XI

Here is Part XII

Part XIII

Part XIV

Part XV

Part XVI

Part XVII

Part XVIII

Part XIX

Part XX

Part XXI

Part XXII

Part XXIII

XXIV.

(Author’s Notes: I noticed a slight mistake in my last post. Thomas would be Lucie’s second cousin, not first cousin, because he’s the cousin of her cousin. They are not in fact related at all, only Anna and Christopher would be related to Lucie, James, and Thomas. Ugh, it’s all very confusing. Anyway, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! I hope whatever you and your family celebrates, it was wonderful and special. Thank you for being patient for this update. Next update is coming Jan 3.)

James pushed their horse and carriage through the streets at a blinding speed, taking corners on two wheels at times that had Cordelia gripping the sides of the carriage and bracing herself at the velocity; filled with too much concern for Lucie that fear for herself could not fit. Once Magnus had successfully removed the block on her memories, a flood of terrifying images filled her mind.

The demon that had attacked their carriage.

Alastair bleeding on the brick pavement.

Lucie running towards her through a cloud of orange sand and Belial greeting her with a malicious grin.

Lucie could see ghosts. No, not only see them. She could command them. Conjure them. And he wanted to use that ability to command an ultimately unbeatable army.

James took a turn up on the sidewalk, nearly removing a postal box in the process. Luck be it, Magnus glamoured the carriage so that as they flew by and around the crowds of people moving through the congested streets of London, all the pedestrians felt was a harsh gust of wind that gently scooted them out of the way or immediately stopping them so that James could maneuver around in time. When James had begged him to come along, Magnus insisted that he needed to find James’s parents and tell them of Belial’s interest in their youngest child. It was imperative that they find Lucie and bring her back to Magnus’s cottage where he could form guards around her.

Somehow Cordelia knew that if Belial wanted access to her, he would find it. For he had somehow found Cordelia in the middle of London and held her life and her brother’s in his hands.

Alastair. The warmth evaporated from Cordelia’s face as she reached for James’s wrist to look at his watch. She cursed when she found that it was already thirty minutes past three. Alastair would be on his way to look for her now. This would not help James’s standing with him, but she didn’t have enough time to concern herself with her brother at the moment. She’d deal with him once Lucie was safe.

James had barely brought their horse to a slow trot before he jumped from the driver’s seat of the carriage at the front of his Aunt Cecily’s manner.

He ran around the carriage to assist Cordelia, but she was already on the ground and ahead of him.

The garden door was open. There was a chill in the air that was usually absent in the presence of Cecily Lightwood’s quaint cottage. It felt as if it’d been cloaked in darkness- the way she felt when she’d been dragged to the shadow realm by Belial. She wouldn’t allow herself to think of it. Perhaps it was just fear for Lucie that she was allowing her worst thoughts to enter her mind.

James stayed beside her, taking the stair two at a time in a way her skirts wouldn’t allow her. She heard a terrible rip and suddenly her legs had more room to stretch. She didn’t slow or care even as her hair spilled from the delicate coronet her maid had done her hair in as she kept pace with James.

They barreled down the hallway just as two figures stepped out from the room at the end of the hallway.

“Thomas!” James yelled as he skid to a stop. Cordelia behind him reached out for the figure beside Thomas.

“Alastair!” She screeched, nearly colliding with him when she noticed a dark patch across the front of his shirt. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” said Alastair and glanced between her and James. “I was, but I’m not anymore.”

“What happened?” asked Cordelia as James pushed his way past Thomas into the bedroom. “Where is Lucie?”

Thomas and Alastair looked between each other and before either one of them could say a word, Cordelia felt the warmth drain from her body. “No.”

“He was going to kill Alastair,” said Thomas, shame filled his voice. “She gave me no other choice. She nearly broke my nose escaping.”

“He has her?” asked Cordelia as she moved past them into the bedroom to see for herself.

James stood in the center of the room staring wildly at Grace and a boy, no older than the rest of them, kneeling on the ground besides Tatiana Blackthorn. Cordelia’s hand went to her mouth as she realized the woman was dead.

“What did you do?” James demanded of Grace who hunched over her dead mother. “What did you do!?”

“Don’t speak to her in that way,” said the boy.

“Who are you?” asked Cordelia, coming beside James.

The boy slowly rose to his feet. He stood nearly as tall as James, with dark hair and eyes the most beautiful shade of green. “My name is Jesse. Jesse Blackthorn.”

“Impossible,” said Alastair with a hand still clutching his chest. “Jesse Blackthorn died a long time ago.”

Grace sobbed into her mother’s corset. “Yes,” said Jesse, “I was— I was brought back through a bargain my mother had with Belial. An exchange of sorts. My mother thought she was only bringing him the items he needed to resurrect me, and she was so desperate to achieve it she never suspecte what she was actually doing was collecting exactly what Belial needed to create himself a temporary physical form. It didn’t last long, just long enough for him to take Lucy and leave.”

“Why bring you back to life then?” asked Alastair. “If he got what he wanted then why bring you back?”

“To keep Lucie compliant, I suppose,” said Jesse.

“Why would you keep Lucie compliant?” asked James, tightening his grip on a knife Cordelia hadn’t seen him draw. “Did you have something to do with this? Were you working with Belial too?”

“No,” said Jesse. “No, I was trying to protect her. She— she was the only one that could see me; could talk to me.”

“And you took advantage of that,” said Alastair.

“No,” insisted Jesse. “We formed a friendship. We helped each other. I saved your life James, I gave away my last breath after the first attack with Belial, and because of that Lucie made it her mission to bring me back to life. I didn’t realize until it was too late that she had formed an alliance with my sister who was under the control of my mother and Belial.”

James looked down at Grace.“Do you know where he’s gone?”

“There is no getting to him,” said Jesse.

“I’m not asking you,” whispered James in a way that sent a chill down Cordelia’s spine and fear that if he were to ever use that tone on her, even she might cower. “Where can I find him?”

Cordelia felt as if she might faint. She took several steps backward until her back hit the wall.  

“I don’t know,” shuttered Grace, still clutching her mother’s mink coat.

James stood straight and dragged his hands through his hair until tuffs of it were sticking out from between his fingers. He turned to Thomas and the two began whispering to one another in low voices. Cordelia felt Alastair come to stand beside her, but couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge him. The memories of him lying on the brick ground bleeding were too fresh in her mind, confusing the way that she felt about him when she left the Institute earlier that day. She’d been so angry with him; she hadn’t known that they were moments away from losing each other.

She couldn’t think about that now. There’d be time for forgiveness later, for now, she needed to help find her friend.

Grace pressed her mother’s hand against her cheek. Her tears poured over her mother’s rings, one on nearly every finger. A memory flashed before Cordelia’s mind of Belial twisting a ring around his finger while he spoke to her. A thick, silver one on his boney thumb.

“Grace,” said Cordelia, pushing herself away from the wall and stepped towards the mourning girl who looked so much like a child curled up on the floor. She dropped onto her knees and brushed Grace’s lovely soft curls that she’d once envied away from her face. “I am so terribly sorry for the loss you’ve suffered.” Grace closed her eyes as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I cannot pretend to imagine how you feel, nor will I, and I want you to know that no one blames you.”

She heard a scoff over her shoulder.

“They’re going to blame her,” said Grace. “She was just trying to save me and my brother. She didn’t want to be alone, and they’re all going to vilify her for it— and me.”

Cordelia understood all too well wearing the sins of one’s parents. Her father tainted their family name long ago. A stain that she’d have to shoulder and battle everyday.

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” said Cordelia patting her gently on her back. “Your mother trusted you over everyone else. Did she ever tell you how she conversed with Belial? There had to be some way that she contacted him or he contacted her and if you can help us learn this information and save Lucie, perhaps we can restore some honor back to your mother. Perhaps she can leave this earth having saved your brother and helped to defeat Belial.”

The room grew quiet around her and Grace sniffled. “She never told me directly.” Cordelia held her breath and Grace lowered her mother’s hand and held index finger. “One day, I saw her playing with this ring and thought it peculiar because I’d never seen it on her hand before nor have I ever noticed her playing with it. She dismissed herself from the room and went to her study. I heard her talking rather loudly with someone inside, but when I tried to open the door it was locked. When I mentioned it later, she suggested that I must have been hearing things, but I know that I heard a voice with hers. A male voice. The kind of voice that you do not forget.”

They all stared down at the ring on Tatiana’s finger; everyone too fearful to touch it.

Thomas was the first to speak. “Should one of us put it on?”

“No,” said Alastair. “No one touch it. We should wrap it up and bring it to the adults.”

“We don’t have time for that,” said James and reached for the ring, but Cordelia slapped his hand away.

“Alastair is right,” said Cordelia. “We don’t know what this ring could do if one of us puts it on. It could kill us or something worse.”

“But Lucie,” insisted James.

“Lucie would not be much better if the ring kills one of us and our one chance of finding her is ruined,” said Cordelia as she ripped a piece of her skirt and used it to carefully remove the ring from Tatiana’s stiffening finger. “We’re taking it to Magnus and we’re going to pray he knows what to do with it.”

[captainrexisboo]

Dumb Luck #3

Note: Heyoooooo two updates in one weekend, whaaaaat? No, actually a fun fact, this was started out as my part 2, but i liked my other idea of building the tension with Sweets seeing Rex with his helmet off for the first time better. There will be a part four, it just wont come as quick! I’m gonna have several more parts to this, I have plans y’all. This chapter has ~slight angst~ if you squint hard enough. Again, I’m open to criticism or Hot Takes TM, I’m still a novice writer! Both my asks and messages are open to everyone! Also... y’all, Jesse is a bro. He’s great.

a link to part two- https://captianrexisboo.tumblr.com/post/623995723815452672/dumb-luck-2

Warnings: suggestive language (the usual)

Tags: @persaloodles @starflyer-104 @imalovernotahater @holamor @000ayfh

~

“Hey, Sweets-“

“Not now, busy,” she threw over her shoulder, not even bothering to look at who was walking up to her corner of the hangar.

Y/N was greatly enjoying herself as an assistant to the head mechanic aboard the flagship. She quickly learned about not only the venator-class destroyer, but also about gunships, shuttles, frigates, landers, even more about her beloved droids, and her absolute favorite to work on, the starfighters. If she were alone in the hangars, she would walk over to the rows of starfighters and just study them, marvelling at every screw, panel, and wire and how it built something so amazing. And right now, she was actually able to work on one of these beautiful machines, and she’d be damned if she let anyone stop her workflow.

Rex lifted a brow at her mannerisms as he watched her dive elbow deep into a much older fighter model, one that hadn’t ever been repainted and typically was the last to be boarded and flown out by shinies who didn’t know any better. She was squatting low to the ground, a panel gone from the ship while she tinkered with its insides, hair barely secure, strands falling out of the haphazardly tied bun she had kept in place with only a single stylus. He was still conflicted at her presence on the ship. She had proven to be smart, quick witted, and of course was an absolute stunner, but she was also stubborn as hell, distracting, and always there. Always a mere moment away, in the hangar, in the generator room, in the mess, the repair bay, the armory- and he hasn’t known peace since.

Let’s be honest, he hasn’t known peace since he met General Skywalker, but he was able to have an illusion of what it was like whenever he was alone with his thoughts. Now he didn’t even have that, his internal narrative shaping into her curves before too long, even in his solitude. Things were different with her here, they were more on edge, like he was tiptoeing around her in a delicate dance to avoid a situation where either of them could build onto their practically visible tension. Kix had told him, ever the blunt medic, that he could cut their tension straight through the air with a scalpel it was so obvious. But he was a Captain, and had a job to do, so when he heard that she had been seen speeding down the halls to the hangars with her tools despite all the ships passing inspection just a few hours ago, he knew he had to be sure she wasn’t doing anything out of protocol. He had grabbed Jesse before making his way to the hangar, in case a mediator was needed, and was now grinding his teeth at the woman concentrating so intensely she didn’t even care to look who else was in the room. He shared a flat look with Jesse before clearing his throat to make his presence known, “You might want to take a break, Y/N.”

She paused what she was doing, her shoulders tightening. Only Rex ever used her actual name, especially when he was in one of his damn moods. This was weird, though, him seeking her out. Recently it seemed as if he had been avoiding her, or making sure they weren’t alone if they had to be in the same room. Try as she could to get his attention, get him all flustered, he’d always just be slightly out of reach, and she was getting increasingly frustrated. She rolled her eyes, summoning her signature bravado before she smoothly stood up to turn around, jutting a hip out and giving a lazy salute, “Ahoy, Captain.”

Jesse tried to mask his giggles under a cough, watching the two interact was his favorite pastime. Rex took note for later to ask a different intermediary for the next strife, before pointing his head to the ship, “What are you doing to that fighter?”

“Exactly what it looks like,” she smiled brightly, almost prideful, wiping her grease slicked hands on the pant leg of her GAR jumpsuit, “Messing with this lovely hunk of junk.”

“Messing with it?” Rex questioned, barely hiding his glance at the handprint now crudely placed on her thigh.

“Gave myself a project to work on,” she explained sauntering towards the pair of troopers with an arm outstretched to the ship, “Boys, meet my baby.”

“Your baby?” Rex slowly tore his gaze off her to look over the fighter blandly, “What a miracle of science.”

“Is Artoo the dad?” Jesse snickered, before receiving a light smack on the arm from the woman. She still chuckled at the quip, showing good humor to him. Despite being absolutely infuriating, Jesse was quickly becoming a good friend to her, like a brother she never wanted.

“Did you get permission before completely gutting the engine, at least?” Rex asked, looking around at the parts that lay on the floor, surrounding her workspace.

She sighed, “Yes, I did, just a bit ago. Ask Caine, he was the final sign off on it. Went through all the proper channels.”

Rex's jaw twitched, stiffening the hand holding his helmet, “It didn’t come through on my end.”

“Maybe it didn’t need to,” she shot, eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms, “I’m sure there are some things on this ship that don’t require your approval, sir.”

There it is. The way she said that word got him all riled up. It was one little word, one he got called by from every trooper on every hour of every rotation, but it was her honey-coated voice saying it that drove him to his limit. Every time she spoke the word to him it was like a challenge, daring him to expose his desirous aggression toward her, taunting his mask of composure. Every time she spoke, with a demanding storm in her glare and candy pink lips being teasingly assaulted by her own teeth, it stirred a fire in him he didn’t quite know how to quell. It was maddening, and got worse and burned deeper with every encounter. Before he could dig himself deeper into her trap, he simply pulled on his helmet with a slight growl, and turned on his heel to stalk away from the conversation, barely grumbling out a gruff, “I’m going to talk to Caine.”

“What crawled up his ass and died?” Y/N felt herself wilt a bit as she watched him go, taken aback by the retreat, and admittedly a little disappointed. Usually he’d last longer.

Jesse let out a stale bark of laughter, “Same thing that crawled up yours.”

“Jesse,” she warned, cold eyes coming up to focus on him, drawing out his name as she placed her hands on her hips.

“Sweets,” he mimicked her tone and stance, chuckling low, “Why don’t you just go after him? He’s all pent-up and frustrated, I don’t think the troops can take another feral sparring session. Hell, I don’t think I can take it. Think of the poor shinies.”

She shrugged at him, rolling her eyes as her head lolled to the side, “What can I say, I’m a self-destructive mess that likes to delay my own happiness and ultimate satisfaction.”

“Bantha shit,” Jesse rolled his own amber-hazel eyes at her, “I think you're just a brat.”

She laughed lowly, batting her lashes at him, “Same thing, trooper.”

She turned around, intent on continuing her work before she felt a gloved hand wrap itself around her elbow, turning her back to face the ARC, “I’m serious. Why are you dragging this out, adding to the pressure? If you keep this up, one of you will explode before too long, and then- whether it’s a good explosion, or a bad one- there’s gonna be one hell of a mess to clean up in its wake.”

She lifted a brow at his wording, “Was that innuendo literal, or-”

“Ew,” Jesse blanched, letting go of her arm and scrunching his face at the mental image., “That’s my ori’vod!”

Y/N threw her hands up in a mock surrender with a devilish smirk on her lips, “Look, you’re the one who said it.”

“Just answer the question, maker!”

She was silent for a minute, pursing her lips as she gathered her thoughts together. Jesse was staring intently at her, crossing his arms as he waited for her. Her eyes narrowed into thin slits in her focused state, and she exhaled slowly through her mouth, “I...I don’t know if he actually likes me or not. Sure, we banter, and I flirt, but I don’t know if he legitimately thinks of me the same way. I mean, today he just walked away from our conversation, and it made me feel kind of dejected. He seemed...I don’t know. Exasperated. Like he’s tired of me.”

Jesse had never seen her so vulnerable, so small. Sure, she was easily more than a head shorter than them, but her confidence and charisma always made her seem like she was eight feet tall. She twirled a lock of stray hair around her fingers, looking anywhere but Jesse as she continued, “His responses always vary, so I can’t pin down his exact feelings! He can either be cold and dismissive like today, or he can be actively matching my turn of phrase, there's no in between. So I always just...well, I tease him, you’ve seen it. I’m just testing the waters, seeing if he’s interested.”

“Sweets-“ Jesse cut himself off as he let a heavy hand fall onto her lithe shoulder, “Y/N, look at me.”

At the sound of her name, she blinked up at him, biting her lip to keep from pouting. Jesse was about to continue, barely opening his mouth to begin, when there was a greeting from behind them.

“There she is, right where you left her, Captain!”

Rex had come back, face unreadable as he looked between Jesse and Y/N. An older, brown man walked next to him, tall and lean with a salt and pepper fade, his smile as wide as his stride, “Sweets, lass! Making headway on that pile of scrap, huh?”

“Yes sir, Caine,” she greeted, standing upright and saluting him properly before turning offhandedly to Rex and crossing her arms, “Captain.”

Rex felt his jaw twitch at the sudden chill coming off of her, his brow furrowing at the sudden switch in her demeanor. Caine continued waving his arms, animatedly gesturing to the fighter, “This ship will run better than the day it was bought when you’re through with it, I know it. But, our most thorough Captain here has made it known to me that we did skip a step in approving your request.”

She looked Rex up and down, crossed arms tightening over her ribcage, “Oh really? And what step would that be?”

“Admiral Wulff Yularen,” Rex answered, tone even and cool to match her own, “You’re right in that it wouldn’t pass over my desk, however these are still Republic owned ships. He needs to approve...whatever you’re doing before you continue.”

She bit her lip and tightly squeezed her eyes shut, breathing deep through her nose, before responding, “Fine. I’ll clean up my station. Is there a time I can meet with the Admiral to discuss my mistake?”

Rex began to respond, before Jesse stepped in, “I’ll go explain the situation to him. Caine, would you mind tagging along?”

“Let’s stop by my office to get her approval request forms. Anything that makes this take longer, it gets me away from the repair reports,” Caine guffawed as he walked away with Jesse, leaving the Captain and mechanic on their own. He shifted as her burning stare held onto him for an extended moment after the two had left.

“What?” he growled out, growing aggravated at the silent attitude she was giving him.

“You’re a fucking tattle tale,” she spat out before turning on her heel to begin picking up her tools and various discarded parts of the fighter, “Going to my boss because a form didn’t come your way.”

“What are you, a youngling?” he shot back, but striding over to help her out, “I’m doing you a favor! If Admiral Yularen had found out one of his ships had been tampered with, without his permission, he’d blacklist you from the GAR and put you in a ship to drop you on that same dirt ball we found you on.”

Admiral Yularen was much more empathetic than that, and would not go as far as that for a punishment. But she didn’t need to know that right now.

“I’m not tampering with it- don’t touch my tools,” she looked over to see him dropping her wrenches and welders unceremoniously into her box, “I’m not tampering, I’m fixing. I’m a mechanic, it’s what I kriffin do, I’m sure he’d understand.”

He continued to pick up her scattered tools as she turned back to the disorganized pieces of metal with a roll of his eyes, “That may be so, but the GAR has a very strict way of doing things, and unfortunately the line of command doesn’t just stop at Caine for you. In fact-“

“I said don’t touch my tools!”

“Y/N, I’m trying to help you!” he nearly yelled at her, his voice booming in the high ceilings of the hangar, “Anything I’ve done today, is to help you!”

She scoffed, unmoved by his commanding demeanor, “Sure, help me. You didn’t even want me on this ship to begin with!”

“That’s-“

“You still don’t like me, do you? Is that why you don’t respond to my advances?” she was stalking toward him now, her mess and tools pushed to the farthest corner of her mind until they got this discussion over with. He stood his ground as she got closer, standing at his full height but looking her directly in the eyes nonetheless.

“Y/N-“

“I flirt and tease you all damn day and you just ignore me! Or worse, you respond and then leave when you realize you might’ve reacted a little too positively. I’d at least like a solid no from you, make yourself clear, please!”

“Hey!” he laid two strong hands on her shoulders, giving her a slight squeeze, “Shut. Up.”

She glared at him, but complied, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth as she stood defiantly to him, as tall as she could under his grip. He allowed himself a slow breath, inhale through his nose, hold, exhale through his mouth. He softened his hold, and let his deep honey eyes search her stormy glare, delving into the depths of her soul to make sure she understood, “I think I like you, Y/N. More than I ought to.”

He let that sink in, his cheeks flushing at his own sudden boldness but keeping a lock on her gaze. She raised her brows in surprise, eyes going wide as her agitation subsided, being replaced with something more delicate before sputtering out, “Oh. Okay. Uh, great. So...why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

He let out a dark chuckle, letting his eyelids get heavy, “Always one for tact.”

She shrugged under his grasp, a slight grin gracing her features at his amused expression, “Would you expect anything less?”

He shook his head, letting his lips twitch upwards as his thumbs absentmindedly rubbed circles into her shoulders, before clearing his throat, “If you had let me finish earlier, your chain of command doesn’t stop at Caine. It includes Yularen, Skywalker, and me. If I’m seen to be ‘romantically involved’ with a crewmember, I could be court martialed. And then you’d be-“

“Sent back to that rock you picked me up from,” she finished for him, letting a hand come up to rub gently at his right wrist, before sighing, “Maker, I hate it when you’re right.”

“It’s a miracle you still like me, then,” he let a cheeky smile pull through his face, causing her to let out a soft giggle. Somewhere between their dispute and his confession, his voice had shifted to a low, coarse whisper that made her want to hang onto every word. He let a hand off her shoulder, gripping her chin lightly between his thumb and forefinger, “Do you understand, cyar’ika?”

Her breath was stolen from her as she watched his eyes glance down to her lips, his thumb gently pulling at her skin to have her bottom lip pop out of it’s sharp hold. She shuddered, a pleasant quiver going down her spine as she nodded at him. She fluttered her lashes at him as he chuckled low at her response, “What does that mean?”

“Promise not to get mad?” he smirked at her, as a matching blush sweeping over both their cheeks.

“Rex,” she quirked a brow at him playfully, drawling out his name almost musically. He smiled wide at her, practically spellbound with how his name sounded on her lips.

“It’s Mando’a,” he paused for effect, looking around to make sure no out of place soldiers were looking over before dipping low, his lips brushing the shell of her ear, “for sweetheart.”

She laughed, the sound warm and full, splaying a hand over his armored heart, the plastoid cool underneath her palm, “Fine. But only you are allowed to call me that.”

She pushed him lightly, having him let go of her shoulders. They stood there, smiling at each other, skin burning where the other’s hands had been, gazes soft with mutual ache. Y/N sighed, “So, what does this mean? For us.”

Rex thought for a minute, walking around her to continue where they had left off cleaning. After she had joined him, he hummed in response, “I think it’s a promise.”

“A promise?” she repeated, finishing up putting all the spares and discarded parts in an unlabelled crate next to the fighter. She leaned against the crate, arms crossing as she grinned at him, “What kind of a promise?”

“After the war is done,” Rex explained, tone surprisingly optimistic, “we can travel the galaxy together. No enemies to be on lookout for, not having to worry about getting caught by my nosy men-”

“Does it have to wait till after the war?” she whined, but still watching him as if he were hanging the stars as opposed to just picking up her tool box. He handed her the plasteel case, latching it closed with one deft hand.

“We can discuss that later,” he sent her a sly wink. She rolled her eyes, righting herself off the crate and looking up at him with the familiar teasing glint in her eyes that he’s come to find very charming.

“Just because you’ve finally confessed, don’t think this means I’ll stop toying with you, sir.”

All he could do was let his smile grow, just thinking about all the alluring ways she’ll drive him crazy, “I never wanted you to stop.”

[iwannaholdyoutight-]

SUNLIGHT

Summary: Welcome to Mattina ed Estasi, an art gallery dedicated to show the art of seduction. This story is dedicated to the discover of true sex.

A/n: each day has a painting, please click on the link, likes and reblogged are love and if you come talk to me about it: I’ll love you forever. Please read end notes, it’s important

Find my masterlist HERE

Find the Pinterest page for this fic HERE

Somewhere in Italy, 1978…..

Day 1: Mattina ed Estasi https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Painting-Extasy/300907/4211239/view

Lavignia was going to have a syncope. She was sure of it. It was hot, hotter than any other summer she has ever lived in her 25 years of life upon this earth. Her pink loose dress was sticking like glue because of the heat and she was late for her first day at the new job.

Fucking amazing, right?

The bus was late and then she got lost because she should have turned right but she took a left and her Italian isn’t amazing enough to understand what the old lady was trying to explain her, she was speaking too fast and Lav was far too nervous to concentrate. 

But finally she saw the brick walls built in an elegant way. She saw the big stained glass with the mermaid. She had finally found Mattina ed Estasi, or “morning and ecstasy” in English. This is going to be her new job - new home- for at least the next 18 months (that was what the contract said, at least). 

Having graduated just a year ago from the University of Coimbrã with a major in arts and communication, Lavignia found herself without a job and without the possibility of asking for her folks to help since they didn’t want her to go to college at all (she had one job and that was to marry well…. and that’s clearly not what she did). 

But a friend of a friend told her one night about this gallery in Italy that needed someone to work there. This person had to speak English, to communicate with all of the tourist and had to know a lot about art. 

Thank god she knew both. 

Packing her bags, she dished her job at the bar and went to Italy on the morning train all the way from France. With all of her articles about art and the hope of a brand new start. 

Taking a deep breath she walked through the doors, coming face to face with a tall red head: “you must be Vanessa! Mrs. Lovelace told me you would be here. 

She was nervous, feeling short when standing side by side with this gorgeous woman. Her hair all messy from the wind and heat. But Vanessa, with a freckled face and very blue eyes, opened a smile and refused her hand shake, going for a hug. 

“Hello, Lavignia. Yes, Mrs. Lovelace has told me all about you, she seemed excited, she loved your article about the art movements as protest  against the military coups in Latin-America.” 

“I’m glad. And please, call me Lav” 

“Of course. Ready to begin our training?”

They started to walk around the gallery. An intimate space with golden artificial lights, a crew of men was working with all of the artwork for the new exposition: “Love and Sex”. 

“What do you know about our new work? I just need to know everything you were told so I can help you with the rest” 

“Well, I received a lot of books to study the theme on the last few days. Love and Sex is all about the the raw emotions of the human body, showing how much they are alike but also not so different. One complements the other but at the same time you can have sex without feeling in  love, and you can fall in love and not have sex.” She could feel the embarrassment from talking so much about this subject with someone she barely knows but since it was about art becomes more acceptable. 

“Yes. You are very correct. We are getting pieces from the renaissance era till the new paining by erotic artist Joan Semmel, our biggest conquest of this is actually her painting “Sunlight”, but Harry still has to bring that one”

“Nice. But who is Harry?” 

“Oh, didn’t Mrs. Lovelace told you about the owners of the shop?” 

Lavignia shook her head in a negative but said “only that she was one of them.”

“We have three owners. The first one is Jeannie Lovelace”  the one who interviewed Lavignia just 5 days before. She was around her late sixties, beautiful long silver hair and blue eyes. Very elegant lady always using nice bell pants and white shirts. “Well, first, never call her Mrs. Lovelace to her face, she doesn’t like being treated like she is elite, even if she is. Some people say that on her younger days she had an affair with Duke Elligton, can you imagine?” 

They laughed together, this beautiful old lady must have so much to tell if given the opportunity . 

“Anyway, she was the founding mother of this beautiful gallery. She never got married so her true love is art. She founded this gallery back in 1961 with the money she inherited from her father company back in the U.S”. 

“Nice. There is two others right?” She said while pointing to a board with the story of the gallery “This Harry you just told me about and Jesse right?” 

“Yes. Let me start with the worse: Jesse Fire. Firstly, I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name. He’s this elite lawyer and a jackass with everyone he doesn’t find worthy of his time. He only puts money on this gallery because it’s a good investment and makes him have a “intelectual image” for the tabloids. Don’t worry too much about him but if he ever appears just try to not talk to him, and you’ll be fine. He is on holiday and won’t return for another three months. And he lives in Rome, so even when he’s in the country he comes here only for big openings and our parties. We are all safe.” 

She opened a huge smile 

“Now, let’s talk about the last one: Harry. Do you happen to know H.E Styles?” 

“You mean the erotic poet and composer? The one people are always talking about his sexual escapades and charming ways” 

“That one. Well… that’s Harry. I mean, we all know Harry made his money with art and he likes to spend his money with more art. Shocking, right? He has the biggest collection of sensual masterpieces. From paintings to sculptures and even vintage sex toys: he has it all. Actually this exhibition was his idea. The main pieces will have a poem by him attached to it.” 

“And how many pieces are we hoping for?”

“Around 10. He’s going to write new poems for the main events, inspired by a few of the art pieces and will release a book at the end of everything. And that’s the reason why we still don’t have the painting by Semmel. He is struggling with that one and took home last Friday and promised to bring here today. 

“And it’s not here today” said a raspy slow voice from the back door. He was using a blue chiffon shirt almost completely  unbuttoned with a pair of high waisted white jeans and a glittery boot, with heels that gave him at least 3 inches more. “I am so glad to see my favorite red hair today. It was a tuff weekend” 

He got closer and she could finally see his face: green eyes, beautiful wavy brown hair and a nice crooked smile with dimples just to make it more adorable. And he had a mustache. Lav absolutely hates mustaches, but if it’s this handsome fellow that has one…. she wouldn’t complain. 

“What happened? Couldn’t find inspiration again?” Vanessa said while touching his arm. Of course a guy that hot would go for a girl like Nessa. They looked like a power couple together. 

“First I thought I could get inspiration if I could just stare at the painting. But it didn’t work so I called Daniel and Melissa, maybe with a fun three way party I could feel inspired, wrong. Then yesterday, I thought “maybe I need to see the world with different eyes” so I popped a few acid tablets… didn’t work. So now I’m here, on a Monday morning, asking you PLEASE let me have the painting for a few more days” 

It was too much information for Lav to take, in three days he had done more than she has done her whole life. That made her feel quite uneasy. 

“That depends, Styles… will you borrow your beach house for the summer so I can have my honeymoon with Cathy there?” 

Oh, she has a fiancée, thought Lavignia, how silly could she be, thinking they were a couple. 

“I was already going to offer you this and you know it. But of course, my Calihouse is yours for the time you want it for your honeymoon” he finally locked eyes with the brunette who was feeling like an outsider listening to private conversation: “and who is this Dove? Is she the new curator you and Lovelace were talking about?” 

“Yes, Lavignia this is Harry. Harry this is Lavignia” 

 She gave him an awkward smile. 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Styles”

She raised her hand to shook his that was already reaching out for her. But, instead of a shake, he took her hand and before giving a kiss he whispered to her hand “please, call me Harry.” He kissed her hand and let her hand go, using the tips of his fingers to caress her arm on the way down from its previous position. 

“She is actually going to create the sequence for the pieces and the artistic and historical explanation of the pieces from the the exhibition”. 

“I thought I was going to write this” 

“Yeah but she has the technical knowledge. So you are going to look at the art, find a meaning behind and she is going to write the explanation for the techniques and whatsoever and to the presentationwould be interesting if you guys worked together” 

That’s when it hit Lavignia: they had 6 days till the opening and absolutely zero idea of what they were going to produce. 

“Wait….. we have six days to plan this whole thing?”  

Harry laughed. 

“Yes, we have done a lot but still, we have a lot do. Right now the focus is to create a storyline to exhibit everything and it has to go well with the main theme. Welcome to our gallery” he said with a smile. “But I’m sure it’s going to be an easy job. Because love and sex are so inherent to the human being” 

That wasn’t going to be an easy job. She didn’t know much about love or sex. 

.

After their conversation, the day was just a blurry memory: checking the pieces, looking for articles and references about each one. Harry would once in a while come and check on Lav, ask her if she wanted anything and sometimes he would just look at her, like he was trying to memorize her face. 

It was already 7 pm and Lav and Nessa were getting their stuff to leave when Harry came up to talk to them: 

“Girls, Lovelace just called the office and asked if we want to have dinner at her place. I’m going, care to join?” 

“I can’t, have to meet Cathy. We have a dinner date to try and finally find a date that is good to get married” said Nessa “but I think it would be good for Lav so she can get a feel about how we work” 

“I can give you a ride if you want” Harry offered with a sweet smile, putting both of his hands on the reception table and getting closer to her face. 

“Uh, sure. Let me just get the rest of my stuff” 

“Sure, I’m waiting outside” 

Vanessa was looking down at her with cheeky eyes and knowing smile: “you are going to have the best fuck of your life” Lav eyes grew wide “oh me and my fiancée once had a threesome with Harry. A one time thing but didn’t he gave us the ride of our lives” 

“There will be no fu… mingling with the boss for me. Thank you very much” Lavignia said while getting the rest of her stuff and walking away with heavy steps and wide angry eyes. She was already out of the door but she could still listen to Vanessa’s laughter. 

She started looking for a nice and extravagant car but what she found was Harry leaning on a very red Harley Davidson. Picking at his nails, tearing off the nail polish in the process. 

“Hey. Ready?” She was shaking she had never walked on a motorcycle. 

“Kinda. Never been on a motorcycle before” 

“What a pleasure to be the your first ride then” Harry said giving her a blinking eye and a mischievous smile. “First let’s  put this thing on you” he got closer to her with a blue helmet with silver stars in hand. 

First he caressed her messy curls and then slided the helmet on her head, never taking his green eyes off of her: “you look perfect with this on, like you belonged on a fast ride, just like this ride I’m going to give you” 

She didn’t know how to answer that, she could just blush. 

“Let’s go?”  Nodding with her hand and getting onto the bike with Harry, Lavignia had this nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach: it burned. Every single time he turned a left she would end up brushing her front against his back that was covered by the thin blue shirt. She never felt this spark before, almost like something in her body was screaming for the feel of him. Maybe was the fact they spent the day in the middle of sensual pieces of arts, maybe was the fact that the smell of vanilla on his neck made her think of sex.

And she never thought of sex, never understanding what was the appeal to showcase something it was supposed to be so intimate, and he didn’t have any filter when it comes to it. Maybe the almost 4 years without someone between her legs have finally got her and she was going crazy.

After it felt like an eternity in a war with her own thoughts, they came to a stop on a small circle park with 5 houses surrounding the area . All of them were big and out of a art decor movie. They came to a stop in front of one of the houses: this one was yellow with high walls and a lot of plants all over the entrance. 

“This is Jeannie Lovelace house. My house is the other one on the other side of the park” Harry finally said, without taking his helmet off, pointing towards a house with a bright orange tone to it with rounded windows and a balcony that was exposed for the street, full red roses. “She is already expecting us, you can go inside, I’m just gonna drop my bike at my house. Do you live close?”

“No, I live close to the beach, close to that souvenir shop, you know? It’s about 30 bus stops from the gallery.”

“You can stay at my place, if you want” he said in a normal tone but a sparkle was found inside his eyes, maybe she wasn’t the only one that was left shook from their little trip standing so close together.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” she could admire him, but she couldn't touch. She only knew him for a few hours but she knew it was trouble. And maybe her tone was quite condescending because Harry changed his posture and stopped smiling and just pronounced a small and guilty “okay” before driving towards his house, acting almost like he was feeling shameful. Before Knocking on the door there was only one thing in her mind: this was going to be an extressfull dinner. 

.

Day 2: Woman with the black stockings 

(Painting they talk about: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Schiele_-_Frau_mit_schwarzen_Strümpfen_-_1913.jpg )

“Darling, wake up” she could feel Jeannie elegant voice talking quietly “it’s almost 9, if you want to be on time to your meeting with Harry, you have to wake up now”

Meeting? When did she and Harry settled a meeting hour? Lav’s last memory was from getting another glass of the green drink because she was quite overwhelmed with the conversation topics. She didn’t even knew there was so much it could be talked about sex.

“Sorry” she said getting up “my head is killing me. Thank you for letting me crash here, I don’t even remember how I made it to this bed” she looked around, being in a big room with with walls and drawing of flowers all over it, Lovelace was standing right next to her holding a plate full of food. 

“Oh, darling there is nothing to be sorry for. You should thank Harry, he was the one who carried you over here” she said while settling the plate on her lap “but a little piece of advice? When it comes to absint you don’t drink more than 3 shots, now eat. Do you remember what we talked about last night?”

Oh God, she didn’t want to hear all of that AGAIN but she had to be honest: “after my third glass my mind is just a blackout. I’m so embarrassed”she said while getting the beautiful croissant and taking a bite of it and it was so good “You only know me for two days, you are my BOSS and I made a complete fool of myself”

“Again: nothing to be sorry for, everybody in the gallery is like family to me. Not counting Jesse, he is just someone that gives us money…. think of him like the awful uncle that everybody has to deal with” laughing at her own joke  “We just talked about the opening then me and Harry stared to exchange stories… that was when you started to drink a little too much.”

“I just… I hope this doesn’t get me fired but, you all just treat sex like it isn’t an act it should be kept in your bed and I got nervous yesterday with the topics of the conversation once we stopped talking business and especially Harry I mean…. I met him when he was talking about a menage he had in search for inspiration to write about an art piece” She said with open eyes and exasperated sigh

“Lavignia, sweetie, you know that this gallery is about sex right? We showcase pieces with a sensual and sexual background. Also we hold parties, books reading, music. Look at the name we gave it: MORNING AND EXTASE”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry Mrs. Lovelace, when we talked you only told me about this exposee we are doing and I thought that was it. I know that sensuality and art are two themes that often come together but ….”

“There is no problem, Lavignia” she said in a more serious tone, yeah, Lav was out of a job only on her second day, she was sure of it. “Look, I was so ecstatic to have someone with your resume that I only talked about what we are working on right now. Can I ask you something? Give us a chance, please? Especially Harry, he is a sweet guy who lives and feels everything, he gives himself whole in everything: art, friendship, love, sex. I wish I could have met someone like him when I was younger, I would be married, maybe.” She said with a sweet smile “When we are over with the planning of this, if you wish, you can let us go. But try and immerse yourself with us, there is more to the world than ‘waking up, growing old and dying’. If at the end of this you don’t wanna stay, I will find you a job at the most traditional art gallery. But, give us a chance, there is something behind your eyes that longs for something, I can see it, let us show you there is no shame in living.”

Looking at her hands, Laviginia thought about how she was never satisfied, leaving her parents home when they wanted her to get married to their neighbor, going to college in another country, then going to Paris to find a job and failing and now having this big opportunity in her hands: she couldn’t say no; so she nodded and got a big hug from the elegant old lady.

“Now, I asked Harry to get you a few clothes ‘cause I figured you wouldn’t want to be another entire day with the same ones.  He is already here with the clothes I’m going to get it for you. Take a shower. We’ll be waiting for you in the living room” Jeannie said getting up from her sitting down position in bed but before she could reached the door she turned to Lav and said “and another thing: don’t ever call me Mrs again, either Jeannie or Lovelace. Okay?” and with that she left the room and Lav went to shower, knowing she had a chance in her hands and the only person who could mess this chance up. 

.

After taking her shower Lavignia came back to the room to find not only clothes but shoes and underwear and even a perfume, on top there was a note: 

Lovelace would not forgive me if I got you clothes and didn’t bought you a perfume. According to her a woman is naked without a scent. I hope I got the sizing right. 

H.

PS: I would love to see you wearing the lingerie, this one was all Jeannie. 

Of course he would said something like that. The clothes consisted of a black mini dress with red little hearts and a high turtleneck, together with black boots and a thigh high black stockings. The lingerie was pretty, a set with a bright cherry color made of  lace and satin. She loved looking at the mirror using such a beautiful piece, there was something about her she didn’t knew it could be achievable: she looked quite sensual. She felt like she was Twiggy herself (even if she didn’t look at all like Twiggy).

Last but not least: the perfume. It was Paris by YSL and it smelled like richness and sex. Of course he wouldn’t give any less than something like this. But she couldn’t lie, she was grateful for him, Lav knew she was quite harsh to him just the night before with her judgmental looks and words, but even then he got out of this way to help someone he only knew for 24 hours. 

Getting down the stairs she could ear the light tone of their conversation, something about “opening yourself for love”, it seems like Lav was not the only one that was getting a preach from the one and only Jeannie Lovelace. 

With the sound of her footsteps getting closer, Harry turned around and smiled: “glad I got the sizing right. You look nice.” He was getting up and so was Jeannie

“I’m going to give you guys a ride and then I’m picking Nessa up, we are going to the train station”

“I thought we all were working together today” Harry said while walking side by side with both women toward the backdoor that lead to the garage. Jeannie gave them both a big smile:

“Early this morning I got the news: We got the Corregio” in that moment Harry lifted Jeannie up and started to kiss her cheeks while saying “I knew you could do it”.

Antonio da Corregio was an painter from the italian renaissance, being able to get one of his pieces to put on display outside from its home museum in Viena was almost impossible . Lav was looking at the interaction and saw it for the first time: Lovelace saw Harry like a son. They were a little happy family. What she didn’t expect was Harry to put Jeannie down and take her into his arms, giving a big hug and involving her in his smell all over again. 

“Now, let’s go kids. You two have to analyse the Schiele piece and me and Vanessa have a date with Corregio”. And so they left in a very lilac mercedes. 

.

Laviginia couldn’t stop sweating, she was standing side by side with Harry in front of a big painting of a woman sitting down, pushing her skirt up so she could show all of her private parts. With very red lips and nipples and black stockings, very similar to the ones Harry got her, and from his face, she was sure it was not a mere coincidence.

“What do you think we should do with this one?” Harry asked

“I think every piece of art tells a story and we have to discuss about this piece, what story does it tells us” Lav said getting away from the painting and closer to the books she had spread all over the table, looking for her bookmarks about Egon Shiele  and any piece of information about his painting The woman with black stockings.  She looked over at Harry and he looked relaxed with his with long sleeve shirt full of drawings on the sleeves and blue jeans. He was calm while waiting for her to tell him about whatever piece of information she found on the books. Her mind was going crazy, she was sweating through all of her pores, there was the same unfamiliar warmth in the pit of her stomach and there was Harry, changing his attention between her and the naked woman like they were talking about the weather. Finally she found the information she was looking for in one of the many bookmarks she made “This dates back to 1913, he got arrested countless time because of his art…”

“It’s ridiculous being arrested for making his art, especially one so intimate but I understand the time but so be it, I hate it when people make sex such a taboo. But please, continue with what you were telling me”

Cleaning her throat, she continued “according to this the reason behinds his arrests were his nude and semi-nude portrayals of his lovers. It also says those portrayls are so beguiling is quite simple: they have a filth quality to it. He likes to portrait his adoration towards woman and sex”

“Wow, that’s probably the most of dirty talk you have ever made in your life, I’m proud you got to reading all of this only blushing a bit” he looked at her with kind eyes and a smirk gracing his beautiful rosé lips “Okay, he wants to show devotion and rawness to it, right? There is this gorgeous woman spread open for him, longing for him as I hope he was longing to get between her legs and get so deep they don’t know when one ends and the other begins. I think that the theme of this is want, is the disinhibition, not being ashamed of wanting something that is so good” Lav felt like he was talking about her and not the painting “He has a dirty mind freakness, doesn’t only show people what he is seeing, he shows us his desire and let us get into his intimate for one reason: he painted his lovers, people he knew from inside out, people who must have some meaning to him. The fact that he can put together adoration and the most primal act of the human race, takes his art from merely beautiful to widely erotic”

“What does it feel like?” she asked him “being able to see and feel and talk about this without feeling like it’s wrong? Being able to let yourself go”

Harry looked at her and she had no idea what his face was telling her. He was sitting on the floor and pated the place in front of him in a silence request for her to join him. She sat in front of him, folding her legs and looking him in the eye

“I always felt like there was more to life than the one I was leading on, you know? My family came from money, but everything just felt the same, so one day, as soon as I turned 18, I went to Los Angeles, that was 10 years ago, ending of the 60s and beginning of the 70s, David Bowie was still becoming what he is now, Beatles had just broken up Fleetwood Mac didn’t have Stevie Nicks. There I met people who showed me more and more of living and then I started writing, becoming myself. It was with my art that made my own money and got kind of famous but I never actually showed my face to magazines till  I came to Italy when I heard that the gallery wasn’t doing very well, offered to help and I gained a second mother in Lovelace, she was there for me all the time and she was the first one to tell me that I didn’t have to be ashamed of who I was, if I like a bit of everything or if I dress quite flamboyant or anything.” Harry smiled “ That’s what she wants for everybody: have a fulfilling life like hers, without any fears. It’s all a learning you know, one day at the time, you get there.” Harry took her hand and gave it a kiss “tomorrow we’ll all be together to look at the Corregio, you can talk about whatever you are feeling, I promise you: no one is going to judge you.”

“You know it would be nice to just be able to talk about this without feeling like I’m going to hell and I don’t even believe there is a hell.”

“If hell is full of people who don’t care about labels and know how to have fun… I don’t wanna go to heaven “ Harry smiled “but you know, I’m a GREAT teacher, I would love to teach you how to be less awkward when it comes to the theme, after all you are working for a gallery about sex”

“I’m not having sex with you”

“God, Lav, don’t be such a pervert, I was talking about being less shy when it comes to talking about it. Come on repeat with me ‘fuck me’ without blushing”

“Fuck me”

“No, fuck me” 

“Fuck me” 

“No”

“Fuck me”

“Finally! That’s my girl.” Harry said giving a peck to her nose. “Now, how about we go eat a nice gelato, my treat. Then we can come back to talk about the painting”

.

Day 3: Jupiter and Aphrodite

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Correggio_028c.jpg

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Correggio_028c.jpg

“I crave your mouth, you voice, your hair/ Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets/ Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day/ I hunt for the the liquid measure of your steps” the words from the poem left Harry’s mouth like honey. When they both arrived early to the gallery, Harry sat on the floor with a poetry book and asked if she wanted him to read for him. “I hunger for you sleek laugh/ your hands the color of savage harvest/ hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails/ I want to eat your skin like a whole almond”

When Harry said that sentence he stopped briefly and looked at Lavignia, wanting to see her reaction. He didn’t choose that poem with no intend, he wanted her to see how sexuality and love could be show on poem, with such a easy passion, no shame. She was looking right at the pearls he was wearing around his neck, thinking he didn’t noticed the way she was staring at his chest and necklace, he licked his lips and continued: “I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body/ the sovereign of your arrogant face/ I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes.

The more Harry read, the more Lavignia was imagining he was doing all the the things quoted, adoring her body with such hunger, she was thanking God that he was close to finish his reading: “And I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight/ Haunting for you, for your hot heart/ Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue” He closed the book and looked at her:” so, that was the Love Sonnet XI by Pablo Neruda, what do you think of it?”

“It’s beautiful”

“Only beautiful? What do you feel when you listen to those words. Erotism can also come in form of beautiful words, to show those feelings and to have them returned are a bliss, if is a one night or a lifetime.”

She wanted to be like him, like everybody she met during those 3 days, so she trying to raise her voice and finally say something:

“I feel hunger. Hunger for life. I don’t want to feel like it’s wrong to desire someone”

Harry got closer to her, almost touching their knees together. The moment he walked through the door last monday he was captivated by the girl wearing the cherry tree print dress. He couldn't stop watching her every movement, how she would stare at each art piece with a passion observation yet timid eyes, how she would like at him like he was from mars, she had so much inside of her screaming to break out of the coffins of her mind and heart, and Lovelace made him promise he would help her, she saw so much of her in Lavignia. 

“Would you like to try and  live the life you always longed for?” he asked her.”You will never be judged here, that is a promise I make you, in the name of everybody”

She was hypnotized by his eyes and the thought of finally exploring whatever she felt since she was younger and everybody always told her how wrong it was: this hunger. Ever since she read the Betty Friedan book “The feminine mystique” and was shocked to find out that women also could find pleasure in sex just like men. Never having the courage but each day inside the gallery she could feel the same insistent pit in her stomach always asking for more” So she just nodded and Harry got even closer, so close she could see the blue and golden inside his eyes and could hear his breathing and smell the mint in his breath.

This guy that just this weekend was having threesomes was going to kiss her shamelessly inside  their workplace. And she was going to let him. 

“Good Morning darlings” said the elegant voice of Jeannie coming from the front door “I’m a little bit late but I got fresh macarons from the french bakery close to Nessa’s place. She is just parking the … oh” Finally looking at the young couple on the floor so close that it was unmistakable that they were about to kiss when the owner of the gallery busted through the door “well…. young passion, always a good feeling when you just can’t wait till you can get home and enjoy each other but please do whatever you were going to do away from the art pieces, we wouldn’t want another incident like the party we threw back in 75”

Harry gave Jeannie a cheeky smile while the only thing Lavignia could feel was shame, absolut and complete shame. Opening her mouth to defend the situation she found herself in: 

“But we weren’t going to…”

“Lavignia you know I’m the biggest and most precious work of art from our little gallery” Harry said at the same time she was trying to come up with any excuse, looking at her while getting up and offering his hand.

“Oh Harry if I was 30 years younger you wouldn’t scape me” Jeannie answered. Today she was using a elegant bright red dress and a scarf around her head and by the smile on her face, Lav understood what they were trying to do: they wanted her to feel comfortable so they were joking to show her there was no problem in whatever they were doing.

“Now, enough talking we have two pieces to figure it out today and Harry where the fuck is the Semmel?” Lovelace said taking her heels off and started to walk around, checking everything they had already done. There was still 3 pieces for them to figure out how they would showcase. 

.

They were all sitting on the bench Harry dragged to the middle of the room, with watchful eyes resting on Lavignia that was right in the middle of two art pieces. They all were waiting for her to begin her explanation: 

“So, if you look at my right, we have the famous Correggio painting: Jupiter and Io, dated back 1530. So, we all know the Romans saw Jupiter as the equivalent of the Greek god Zeus. According to the tale, he was attracted to everything that was beautiful, especially Io, she was one of Hera’s priestess. Jupiter was always tempted by others beauty and would disguise himself to be closer to them. In the case of the Correggio” she said posting towards the bluish god that was encasing the woman in a sensual way “he took the form of a velvet fog to reach for Io” pointing through naked woman encased by the fog, she took a break, waiting to see if they wanted to add something but Jeannie just gave her a small smile, telling her to continue: “it’s from the Italian renaissance, as we all know and the technique is oil on canvas, it’s height is around 5’4 and is has been in the Austria museum since the XVI century” 

Harry raised his hand not wanting to disrupt her talking, he was quite fond of the way she lost all of her shyness and insecurities when it comes to art. When she was done she looked at Harry when he raised from his sitting position to get closer to the painting: 

“If we look next to her face, we can see a face form itself on the fog, that’s Jupiter, right? He is there taking her pleasure as his own and giving his pleasure to her as her own. It’s a mutual feeling, she isn’t dreaming about the fog, he is there. This is such an erotic turn, showing us this woman being involved with this fog, her face looks like she was being pleasured. It’s about the feeling of letting go, she was letting herself being encased by this fog, encased by desire” turning his face to the redhead sitting close to Lovelace he asked “what do you think, Nessa?” 

Crossing her long legs that were covered by a letter flared jumpsuit she stayed quiet, taking the pairing calmly. 

“I think I wanna hear about the Aphrodite before making a decision” 

Harry pinched Lavignia cheeks lightly as if saying: come on, we are waiting. 

Lavignia was looking at the piece. The three naked woman with no shame, laying together on top of the blue satin sheets: one was laying down with her hands above her head, the other was on her fours atop of the laying girl and the third was encasing the the same girl that has her eyes closed in delight. It was clear that she was the one they were intending to adore, she was Aphrodite. 

“Aphrodite is one of the famous goodness, she is the goodness of love and beauty, she was responsible for the perpetuation of life, pleasure and joy…” Lav lost her train of thoughts the moment she looked at Harry. 

He looked calm, standing so next to her, listening so attentive, as if every word that came from her mouth was precious to the subject. His eyes were extremely green thanks to the green and blue crochet vest he was wearing together with a high waisted jeans but everytime he raised his arms she could see a bit of his soft belly and what it seemed to be a butterfly tattoo. 

“Earth to Lavignia?” said the fant voice of Jeannie. Shaking her head a muttering a small ‘sorry’, she continued:

“Anyway, this illustration on paper was made for the Pierre Louys’s book, the artist is Maurice Ray, we don’t know the date but it’s from the 19th century, so it’s nearly not as old as the Correggio, so if we want to sort by date: we can’t. They are too far apart. We have to find the common ground beside both being created after myth. But we don’t have much on the creator of the illustration to help us built the story. It could be helpful” 

“You know” Harry started “it’s good when people don’t know the life of an artist. I mean, I don’t want people to read my poetry and think what inspired me. Like my “cherry” poem, and think “it’s about his last girlfriend who left his heart broken’, I want people to look at my art and take it as their own. The moment I give it to the world, it’s not mine anymore. Each person has their own claim for the piece, their own meaning, their own story. I look at those pieces and I don’t wanna know if the woman in Correggio was the one that got away, I wanna look and see what this makes me feel, how this tells me a story” 

Harry had a girlfriend who broke his heart? Does he always write from his own perspective? Where can she find one of his poems? She wants to know more about the boy who seemed to never look anything but a full rainbow with his colours and happiness. 

“So, we only have now to work with Sunlight to finish the preparations for the grant opening. Nessa is everything okay with the catering?” 

“Yes, I spoke to the cantina owner, you know, Angelo. He invited us to have dinner there today, so we can try everything he wants to bring” then opening her purse and getting a red notebook “I think we have everything covered: food, drinks, journalist to come, photographers, invitations has been send. I  think the only thing lacking is the Sunlight… Harry, where the fuck is the Sunlight?”

His eyes opened and he looked a little bit frightened at Vanessa: “shit, Nessa, don’t pull those eyes on me, I always get scared. I promise: it will be here, okay?” nervously he looked at both Jeannie and Vanessa, and then at Lavignia, in a suplic for a little help. 

“What time should we be at the cantina?” she changed the subject

“In a few hours, it’s only 2 pm now, maybe at 6, the music is going to start at 6 but we know nothing actually works on time here”

“Okay, so maybe let’s just revise everything? And maybe finally find the order we want to exhibit everything? Lav, do you have any idea?”

“I can only think the cliche: year and technique” 

“We have been here for the last four hours searching, reading, talking about those paintings. Can we do it tomorrow” Asked Nessa, raising her arms to stretch.

“Sure, how about you two go and write all that has been discussed today while me and Harry talk business in the office upstairs?” Lovelace said, taking Harry by the hand and leading him to the stairs that stood almost in a hidden part of the gallery.

When they were long gone, Vanessa questioned if she knew that they weren’t going talk business and when she didn’t respond, she continued:

“Harry ex-girlfriend cheated on him and then left with some french preppy guy saying he wasn’t the one because she could never deal with his ways. This was almost a year ago, he was pretty depressed, to be honest, cried a lot, never wanted to sleep alone” 

“Does he ever want to sleep alone?”

“You know, you are fast to judge people, when I think you are opening up to us... “ she stopped to get one of the posters for the gallery and pointed towards the front exit, needing help to put the poster in its place.

When Lavignia thought she wasn’t going to hear anymore of that, she finally continued the talk: “he hates being alone. He practically moved to Lovelace’s house for the first month, was always listening to Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide, crying. Actually, I think during those first three months he only took one person to bed and he cried during it. He started to get better when he wrote his book, travelled all around Asia, he vanished for maybe 45 days. When he got back, he was him again. Maybe a better version of himself”

“Why are you telling me all of this, you don’t even know if I’m going to stay at the gallery or I’m gonna take the other job”

“You know… I can see in your eyes, the sparkle when you talk about those pieces, when you let yourself go. But then, it's like something turns it on in your brain, almost like it’s short circuiting, and then… you stop, you blush and you give us judgmental stares”

“You know, I can’t help it”

“I know” Nessa said with a faint smile “but we can help you”

.

They were all laughing over bottles of chardonnay and pasta, Lovelace was in the middle of telling one of her many stories about the roaring 30 and all that she done back in New York. They got there half an hour ago, the music crew were beginning to put all the instruments over the small stage. The cantina was only two blocs from the gallery. They were sitting outside, in a round table with red and white tablecloth, with fairy lights to illuminate the place, trees that gave the place a certain fairy look.

When they arrived, there was a petite black woman with a sundress and braids on her hair, she recognized to be Nessa’s fiance, but she couldn’t bring herself to remember her name, no matter how much she tried.

When they sat, she was in the middle of Jeannie and Harry. She could feel his arms brushing her back every time he talked. 

“Guarda se non sei la donna più bella di tutto il nord italia” said a tall man, he must be around his sixties. Very blue eyes, gray hair and charming smile. He had honeyd voice, and man, she really needs to improve her Italian if she wants to stay.

“Quindi mi ci abituo, Angelo. E come sempre: il cibo è delizioso.”

They continued to talk for a bit, Lavignia ended up losing the conversation, looking at the small stage, that now had a singer, maybe she was finally going to be introduced to some good italian song besides Volare.

“Perdona la mia mancanza di istruzione” he looked at Lav “sei nueva qui, guisto?  La tua nuova ragazza, Harry? Che bella”

“Nei miel più grandi sogni, forse” God, Harry’s voice sounded even more charming in italian “Lavignia è il nuovo impiegato della galleria. Ma penso she dovremmo parlare in inglese”

“I am so sorry, my dearest” he said with a very strong accent “ I didn’t knew you didn’t speak Italian. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Angelino and welcome to my humble restaurant”

“Thank you so much. I know a bit of Italian, but it’s the language I speak the least and with all the noise and people talking at the same time, it gets hard to understand”

In that moment, the song beguin to play “Our music guess is starting now, if you excuse me… Jeannie, mi concede questo ballo?” taking her hand he lead her to the dancefloor, followed by Nessa and Cathy, who she finally remembered the name.

“And then they were two” Harry whispered turning to her 

She took another bite of the pasta containing a moan while Harry finished his glass, getting another bottle and pouring  for both of them”

“It was my bad Italian or Jeannie and Mr. Charming over there were flirting?” Harry smirked with her statement:

“You are absolutely, right. They flirt all the fucking time. It’s cute but sometimes I just want to push them towards a bedroom with a very big bed and say they can only leave after they fucked their brains out”

The more they talked, the more Harry got closer. He asked about her life before Italy and she asked about his book. She told about how she was trapped with her parents even after she graduated, so she left. He told her about his traveling through Asia, the people he met, how he went to a David Bowie show in Japan, that each city he visited brought him back to himself. 

“You know, maybe...can I buy one of your books?” she asked, with a timid glint all over her eyes “I just want to know what type of art you write”

“Oh, my poetry is all about having sex and feeling sad”

“Well, I still want to. I might blush a lot and maybe won’t be able to look you in the eyes on the first few days, but then I’ll get over it”

“How about this, you dance with me and tomorrow I give you my book to read. Deal” 

“Deal” shaking hands then getting up towards the dancefloor. 

Putting both of his hands on her hips, Harry got closer. They could listen to the calming voice of the singer. Softly singin the chorus of the song, with his mouth close to her ear. 

Lavignia could smell his cologne and feel the heat from his body, almost like he was encasing her in a protection spell from the wind. 

“You seem to know the words to the song. Who is this guy?”

“Oh, he is Pino Daniele, right now he only performs at small bars, weddings. But all of his songs are so good, give him a few years and I’m sure he’ll be big, at least here in Italy. That’s for sure” 

After that they were quiet for a moment, she was trying to catch the words to the song. Feeling distracted by the environment they had: fairy lights, the jazz with a popish sound to it, people dancing without a care, everything so colorful. The heat of the summer night was disguised because of the slightly cold wind that came from being close to the beach. Harry cleaned his throat to get her attention:

“I need your help. The Joan Semmel painting is so hard for me to decipher and I think I know why, she painted from such a tender female point of view. And I know I could ask anyone to help me, but I love how in love with art you are. How you lose yourself describing and talking about the pieces” 

“Okay, I can help. But are you sure Jeannie and Nessa won’t be mad?” 

“I already talked to Jeannie and Nessa a little bit before we had to leave the gallery, actually” the slower song came to an end but they couldn’t let each other go. There was comfort in this embrace and light conversation. Almost like they had done this a thousand times before. 

“You could come by my place tomorrow. We can fix this, maybe I can read some of my poems, since you’re so curious” 

“Sure, what time?” 

“Around lunch? There is no hurry since it’s close to eight and I don’t think we’ll be going home anytime soon” 

She had a night full of dancing and wine ahead of her. She could only wonder what would happen tomorrow when the sun came out. 

Day 4: Office Love https://www.phillips.com/detail/A/NY040210/233

The sky was cloudy when Lavignia knocked on the mahogany door. The house from the outside was already beautiful, with vines all over the place, the orange color of the wall and big door. 

“Hey” Harry said while opening the door, dressed in just a satin robe “I was drawing, I lost track of time. Would you like to come in?” 

The door lead her to his living room, there was a big hello round couch, with red walls and a Indian tapestry. The red walls were full of art pieces - all of them pretty much leaning on the sensual side - the  three ceiling to floor windows gave a beautiful view of the street and grey sky. 

“Feel like you’re at your own home, okay? Please put your shoes over there” he said pointing towards a small cabinet “I’m just going to put on some clothes and I’m be back” 

With Harry upstairs, she was left alone to wander through the living room. There were magazines and vinyls all over the place as well as books about a few of the artists they were going to exhibit. He was doing his homework, apparently. 

But then something got hold of her attention: it was a black and white photograph. It seemed like it was an office, a typical American one. With two big windows and a rectangular desk but there, laying at the same desk, there was a barely dressed woman with her breast out and a man -completely dressed- devouring the woman’s chest. 

“Do you like the work of Helmut Newton?” She heard Harry’s voice just behind her, when she turned around there he was with a graphic white t shirt full of little watermelons drawings and jeans shorts. 

“You scared me, you walked down the stairs really quiet” 

“I wasn’t quiet, you were just really paying attention to the photograph. So do you like Helmuts job?” 

“I never heard of him ‘till today” 

“Well… he is a German photographer and is known for his studies of the female body. He worked a lot with Yves Saint Laurent and that was actually how I met him, I loved his fashions editorials of the brand. Then when I was at the fine arts museum in Boston last year, I saw this photograph. He was touring with his new exhibition when I bought this one. But it only arrived last month, when the tour was done” 

He was side by side with her, looking at the piece for a few seconds before continuing his explanation: “the name of this photograph is Office Love. When I had the chance to talk to him he said he wanted his photographs to arouse. And they do, because he so boldly explores his longings. But, in my personal opinion, what makes his art so sexy is his obvious belief that sex in the most important thing in the world” he looked at Lavignia “so, what do you think?” 

She looked at him with wide eyes and open mouth. 

“You don’t have to say anything to me, okay? But think about this painting when you’re alone. I lost the count of how many times I sat on this same couch looking at her and imaging it was me on the picture. Especially this week” did he said what she thinks he said? “Anyway, would you like to eat something before we start? I brought my book with me, thought we could eat a peanut butter sandwich and I’ll read something”. When she nodded, Harry took her hand and lead her towards the kitchen. 

.

His kitchen was all black and white: black and white tiled floor, black electrical appliance with white walls. Black table with white chairs. 

He made the sandwiches and got them a glass full of water. When they were halfway done, he got one his book and asked what type of poem she would like to hear. 

“Anything. Just want to get to know your art” 

“I’ll just open randomly then…” and when he did, his smile flared a little bit, maybe this poem represents a sad moment in his life. When she was close to telling him that there was no need for him to read if it hurted him, he cleared his throat and said: “this is The cherry sonet” 

Along with the cherry trees came hopeless sorrow

The cherry color reminds me that I’ll still hurt tomorrow

Dreams of you erupted in my waking 

My broken heart is still yours for the taking 

When you met him, did he called you ‘cherriè’?

When you kissed him, did you remembered me? 

And when you left me

Did you feel like you were finally free? 

But don’t you call him baby 

Don’t you dare 

To call him what you used to call me 

But don’t you call him baby 

Don’t you dare

To call him what you used to call him 

She felt tears in her eyes, that was the first time he was avoiding looking at her. Closing the book he gave her and whispered “it’s yours. Take care of it” 

“Harry, I’m so sorry. No one deserves to feel this heartbreak” 

“It was a long time ago. I don’t miss her, I don’t even love her anymore. But every time I remember what she done to me and how much pain I went through my hearts remembers the heartbreak.” 

“I understand if you don’t wanna talk about it, but, who was she?” 

“Her name doesn’t matter. She lived here for a while, I fell in love so deeply, I don’t think I was ever in love before her. It was like the world gained color and I didn’t have to be so lonely, anymore. I was still trying to figure it out where I stood in the world, and for that to work out, I tried to be the perfect match for her. I think i lost a bit of me when I lost her. But that was never truly me, you know” he paused to drink some water “ She didn’t like how I treated matters of privacy. She didn’t like the theme of the gallery and she didn’t like Lovelace either. Said she was a bad influence. So to prove her I could work with other themes, I made this work with a French gallery owner. She cheated on me with him.” 

“Harry… I don’t know what to say to you. I never fell in love and don’t even remember liking someone that liked me back, you know? I don’t know much about you, but I can see that you’re good and you don’t deserve any of that” 

He got her hand that was over the table and took in his. Not saying anything but it was like their conversation was happening without needing any words. 

“I think we need to work on the Semmel. Do you want me to bring here or would you mind if we go to my music room. I left it there” 

.

The music room consists of a place full of music instruments, more vinyls and more books. With pillows and tapestry all over the floor, there was no couch or chair. If you wanted to sit, you had to sit on the floor. On the far left of the room there was a painting with a purple bed sheet covering everything. 

“Ready?” He pulled the sheet and she was left marvelous. 

Joan Semmel is a New Yorker painter and writer. Most of her works are about the female point of view. But, even with the knowledge about the artist’s life, nothing could prepare Lav for the pairing ahead of her: it was a woman sitting down on her bed, relaxed and completely naked. She was touching her body and her body was golden from the sunlight. You couldn’t see her face, she was painting from her point of view. 

“You know I can write about any perspective but I’m having trouble with this one because it shows such a intimate view of the woman’s body. I called Lovelace to help me as soon as we got the thing but she said “darling I’m too old to remember the feeling of looking down at a younger version of my body” 

Lavignia couldn’t mutter a word, she was too much hypnotized by the work. And also jealous: she doesn’t know what it is to be naked on her own bed just taking in her own body. She didn’t knew that could be so much freedom when you’re “normal”. Because one thing is too see Bowie and Jagger preaching sexual freedom. She thought it was made for the ones that had an unusual life. But here she was meeting people that had no problem with showing themselves to her. 

“So, what do you think?” Harry asked her. 

“She has a classic technique of color mixing and…”

“Darling I know all of that part. I need your take about the painting, what’s the feeling behind that and what it compares to true life, and then, together, we can figure it out how to fit inside the theme, how to display it and finally decide the story we are going to tell with Love and Sex because, I’m sorry, my dove, but we have such an unique gallery and exhibit that I don’t want to waste it with cliche display options, I know we only have two days but if we think something NOW, we have tomorrow and the entire morning of saturday to fix it.”

It was too much. It was too much. It was too much. 

This isn’t right. This isn’t right. This isn’t right. 

So Lavignia almost screamed without having second thoughts: 

“That’s not right, I can’t go on and talk about that! She had her thoughts while doing this piece, but there must exist this lack of control when people make such works. Life HAS to have control, Harry. YES it’s a wonderful piece but I don’t feel anything while looking at it” 

“You’re lying. I can tell when you’re looking at me like that” Harry said with a sad yet  angry look upon his eyes “your problem is that you never let yourself lose control. You don’t think I notice... but I do. You give everyone the same staring eyes, judgmental eyes when you remember about your ‘lack of control’. When Jeannie asked us to give you a chance, I went with an open heart. I just undressed my soul to you while reading that poem, I thought you were different from her, she judged me and left me. And here you are judging me. How many days till you walk away from the gallery? When we are on the day of the opening and you leave us with all of the work it should be also yours? We are a family down at the gallery and you have no right to fuck that up with your precious control” his voice started to raise “but let me tell you one thing: one day you are going to have a cock so deep in you that you’ll feel it on your tummy, fingers messing with your button and a tongue down your throat and you’re going to find down there is more to life than your precious control” 

He turned his back and finally said: “Get out of my house, I’ll call Lovelace and ask her to fix the Semmel for me.  I don’t think I will go to the gallery until the opening, I can’t look at you when you’re looking at me like I’m sick. If you want to stay, we all are going to welcome you with open arms. If you still  want to learn how to let go of your prejudice like you said it to me yourself: I’m here. But as long as you are judging us and messing with people's hard work: I can’t look at you.” He gave her one final look and opened his mouth one last time: “do me a favor and only go Saturday if you are willing to try. If that’s not what you want it’s not fair to you to continue to suffer what our daily works entails. And it’s not fair to us to be kept on the fence if you’ll stay or not. And it’s not fair to me to be lead on and think I have a chance of  you being mine” 

And with that he left the room. Letting Lavinia alone with her own thoughts. She had to get of his house. She need to talk with someone. 

She needed Jeannie Lovelace. 

.

She knocked one time. 

Nothing.

Another.

Nothing.

One more time and Lavignia would go home and pack.

The door was opened. 

“Darling, are you alright?” Said Jeannie Lovelace. She was with a beautiful black silk skirt, barefoot and a simple white shirt: “I thought you and Harry were going to spend the day together. Come in, come in” 

She went inside still paralyzed. Jeannie lead her towards the nearest couch (the heart shaped one) and said: “Laviginia, do you want a hug?”

She hugged the old lady that smelled like lavender. She felt at home. She cried.

“What happened? Do I need to go and kill Harry?”

“I think I’m the one that needs the killing” and so she begging the story. From the time they met, to all the flirst, how Harry tried to help her to feel at home and more comfortable with her own skin and nature. Told about the flirting and the night before. And then… told her about what happened just a few minutes ago. When she was done, Jeannie looked at her and finally started to talk: 

“Lav, I don’t think he was right to say those things, but I don’t think you were right to judge so harshly. You know, we are what life made us” she paused “I can’t talk about you, I just met you. I hired you not only because of your knowledge and because we needed someone with your background, I could easily get somenome from Rome for that. But it was because I trust my instincts and it felt like there was a little fairy whispering to me ‘she’s the one you need’. I don’t know how much do you want to open up, but I’m here” 

Lavignia opened her mouth without even thinking “do you know why I was in Paris? Because after I graduated my father told me that now that I could say I was educated and fulfilled my ‘feminist dream’ I should go back to real life and marry. He wanted me to marry the neighbor, by the way. When I said no, he just told me to leave. I still had a bit of money and one of my classmates was French, so that’s where I went.” 

“You know, for someone that is so afraid of life, you are quite brave” 

“So I’ve been told” she paused “but… how will this fix the shit Ihave done to him?” 

“My darling, he is no stranger to heartbreak. He is a free spirit, yes, but he longs to have someone to be free with him. There was something about you that made him feel enchanted, the same way he was some time ago with that girl… but she wasn’t the one for him”

“But I have done the same thing: I was quick to me judgmental with him” 

“There is a huge quote by the one and only Anaïs Nin that goes like this: ‘You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken’. Do you understand that, darling?”

“I do. How do you remember so much of this big quote?”

“Because it was thanks to this book that I woke up. You see, my family had same expectations for me. But imagine that 40 years ago… women barely could go to university. It was - still is, sadly - a man’s world. But, day by day, we can get our space. And that’s in everything, including sex. Don’t be ashamed to own your power. Own your body. Give your life everything what it deserves. Think of you first. And… when you find out who you are and if that person wants people like us as your friends, will be here. If you want Harry to be with you, he will be. And he will take you on your craziest adventures because come on… he’s an aquarius” 

“I’m a Libra” 

“It’s a good match” Lovelace laughed “would you like some wine? I was about to drink some rosé?” 

One hour later they had bruschetta and one bottle of wine almost finished. She was listening to Lovelace talk about her adventures and, unlike last Monday, she was lovin’ it. That woman had such good stories. 

Maybe was the wine but Lavignia finally had the courage to ask: “Do you think Harry will forgive me?” 

“Darling, the moment you said yes to the wine, I know he will forgive you” 

“Why?”

“Because you stayed”

.

Day 5: sunlight 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Semmel#/media/File%3AThe_Jewish_Museum's_Wikipedia_Edit-a-Thon_20.jpg

Lavignia woke up with the rays of the sun hitting her face. She looked at the window and it was completely opened. Didn’t she close it last night? 

After all the drinking and talking with Jeannie, she called her a taxi so she didn’t have to ride the bus alone and slightly intoxicated. 

Looking at the clock she had beside the mattress on the floor - she really didn’t have time to make her complete move just yet so her small loft was quite simple: off white walls, a dresser, a kitchen, her mattress and a little door to the bathroom with a a bathtub. There were boxes all over the floor, the Sunday after the opening she would fix everything, maybe paint the walls and get a few posters: one of Stevie Nicks, one of Frida Khalo and one of Bridget Bardot: her most divine life examples. 

Looking at her door, she saw her blue knee high boots and her purse and inside her purse she could see just a little bit of the light pink and blue book cover. 

Maybe … she could? 

She really didn’t want to get up so she crawled towards her purse and got the book. She could imagine his reaction to her crawling for something of his. 

Back to her bed, Lavignia was lost looking at the book cover, trying to catch all of the details. One side was blue and the other pink. The front cover he had the name “Fine Line” and there was a drawing of him laying down, naked. But you couldn’t see nothing, just the contour lines. Nothing else. At the back of the book there was a simple quote: 

This is a story about my journey. 

The one where I found and lost love. 

But I found myself. 

Do you know who you are? 

As soon as the book was opened, Lavignia found the dedication, it was for his mother and Jeannie - who he calls his American mother. Then, there was a list of 15 poems and prose with the number of pages next to it: the cherry tree sonet, I saw an angel; from the hallway I write you this poem; don’t call me baby, again; the fruits of your body; the lights; golden as the sun; adoration; sex is medicine; summertime and butterflies; from Tokyo, with love; the little gallery. 

What was better? Reading the book from the beginning or do just like Harry did not even 24 hour ago and choose randomly. Lavignia went with the later. This time it was a little prose:

Adoration 

I like the love language our eyes share. When we are so together laying in bed with the sounds of the city having a conversation behind the windows. We are so close that I can feel our lashes touch. Do you know I adore you? 

There are words you can’t say yet. And I understand, darling. You don’t have to say you love me. But I have to tell you: I adore you. 

Please, let me adore you

I adore you 

I love you 

Reading this made her understand more about him. Lovelace wasn’t lying when she said Harry feels everything to its maximum. He was so pure when it comes to the matter of the heart. She felt so guilty for how she treated him. But she knows that at the time she was a different person than she is now, just a day later. All thanks to Jeannie and her Anaïs Nin quote. Wanting to read another, she opened the book in a random page, this time it was a poem: 

The fruits of your body 

From the tangerine smell of your body 

To the dreams I have of your lipstick 

It’s strawberry lick, isn’t?

From the way you hold my body 

To the way you make me love it

It’s sultriness, isn’t? 

From taste of watermelon 

That slips all the way down your legs 

I suck it all up. Don’t I? 

From the way you make me grow

To the way you make me shiver 

I’m at your feet

Yours. 

Yours while you’ll have me. 

Yours. 

As long as the fruit season lasts. 

I hope it lasts forever

The more she read, hotter she felt. It was never like this. She ripped her dress off. She ripped her underwear off. She wanted to get off. For the first time. 

But how? 

And then she remembered something a certain curly haired man with a mustache told her: “think about it when you’re alone”. 

That painting. That damn painting. All of the art pieces she looked this week. The smell of him. The way his body moved. The way he looked at her. She was on fire. The sunlight coming from the window ignited the fire on her body. She was finally on fire. 

Looking down at her body, knowing she was treasure map, ready to be discovered. So her journey begins:

A light touch to her neck, with the tip of her finger. The heat grows inside. Her breast so full of desire: she grabbed them. Massages them. Pinching each one of her nipples. Changed the pressure. Moaned and arched her body. She needed more but she didn’t want to stop her exploring, so she raised to her knees, getting one of her pillows. 

Right between her legs. With her hands getting acquainted with herself she rolled her hip and thought of green eyes watching her. Would he have a smile on his face? She hopes so. Because she is so fucking proud of herself. She was a queen in search of the pleasure she never had the right before. 

Her body. Her pleasure. Her orgasm. 

When she got tired from riding the pillow she laid down again. Her hands went to her heat. And she touched and touched and touched. 

And then… sunlight. She was covered in light. She was the sunlight. Her body reactions is like a morning light: beautiful and so unique. 

When she had finally calmed herself she looked around. And something just clicked. 

Getting up and taking a shower was the first thing she needed to do. Then… Lavignia would run as fast as she could to the gallery: she knew what to do about the opening. 

Day 6: perfume  https://fineartamerica.com/featured/perfume-1910-luigi-russolo.html

Lavignia was going to have a syncope. She was sure of it. The sun was finally setting but it was still hot. Hotter than ever. And if she didn’t hurry she was going to be late for the opening. 

The silk white dress Lovelace gave her was from her own wardrobe. “From my peach days” she called. The dress had thin straps and it reached mid thigh with a fringe assuming the rest of the outfit till it reached her ankle. It was a true fastidious dress from the 30s. And she felt in character. 

Just the day before Laviginia stayed back at the gallery till almost 3am together with Jeannie and Vanessa (and Cathy, she got there with dinner for them and stayed to help). 

It was hard but the moment she told her idea, Jeannie and Vanessa fell in love with it. It was original and so in touch with everything the gallery stood for. 

Sitting on the bus she looked at the the street. It was almost night time and people were starting to begin their Saturdays festivities. Lavignia felt her stomach turn and turn, the closer she got to the bus stop the more her nerves were making her crazy. 

She was going to do the presentation. Yes, that was Jeannie and/or Harry’s job. But well… it would be a miracle if he showed up today and Lovelace said it was all Lavignia, so she is the one that making all the talking. 

Getting out of the bus was easy. Finding her around the streets that lead to Mattina ed Estasi was easy. There was music and people talking loudly. From the window of an old building she could see the shadow of a couple making love. 

But the moment she saw the red Harley, nothing was easy. Her heart was beating fast. Harry was already there. He probably saw the way they fixed everything. Just the paintings with a small description to it. The order didn’t offer any technical logic. Maybe he was mad. Maybe he was curious. Maybe he was just as anxious as she. 

But Lavignia knew she wouldn’t get her answer if she just stood there. She had to walk through those doors and face everything. 

She was ready. 

.

The moment she was inside the gallery she felt so proud of herself. Looking at all the pieces circling the space. Forming a cycle. A love and sex cycle. And four of those pieces where on the center stage: first is Sunlight, followed by Correggio and the Aphrodite, the gods and goodness deserved to be together. And, finally, the one she was so afraid on her second day of work but became one of Lav’s favorite art pieces to ever exist: the women with the black stockings. 

When she dressed today, she was inspired by the painting. But, instead of black, it was white. White lace and see through lingerie her friend from France gave her but she never had the courage to wear - till today - with white stocking. A little innocent gif, if Harry was willing to open when the night is over. 

And by the way… where is Harry? The opening was only for another hour and she knows she was the last one here. 

“Oh, you’re finally here. Good” she heard Nessa’s low voice. Dressed in a black glittery jumpsuit with wide legs and a heart shaped cut in the chest area. Looking like the disco goodness she was “Lovelace was getting worried. You look beautiful, by the way” giving her a small kiss on the cheek she continued “I have to go and see if all of the catering is ready but Lovelace and Harry are upstarts. Any second now… okay?” 

And she was alone again. But not for long. 

She could smell him before she could actually see him. The same vanilla and tobacco. But if Lavignia thought she was feeling a little bit woozy with his smell. Nothing could prepare her for the outfit he choose: white trousers and tank top with a white blazer. Something John Travolta would wear. He had a bit of scruff but his mustache was still the first thing she noticed in his face, together with the pink sunglasses. 

Harry was looking at her, frozen at the top of the copper stairs.  

“We match” she said about the all white assembly they both were wearing. 

“You came” 

And he gave her a small smile. Maybe not everything was lost. 

.

Even with their little exchange, Harry hasn’t talked to her. The opening was keeping everybody busy. There was photographers and journalist to entertain. A lot of people from the villa, too. 

From the corner of her eye, she could see Jeannie in her bright pink spaghetti dress talking to Angelino. He was wearing a blue velvet suit. They fitted together. 

The clock read 8:47 pm, more 13 minutes and she would go to the little stage and do the presentation. She was nervous. Lavignia was in need of a drink. 

As if he heard her thoughts, Harry got closer to her for the first time in the evening with a champagne glass:

“You look nervous. Everything is perfect, you can relax” he said, with a faint smile. Up close she could see the birds tattooed in his chest “and don’t you look quite dazzling tonight” 

“Thanks. You look quite handsome yourself” accepting the glass and taking a big gulp, her shoulders finally relaxing a bit “I’m nervous about the presentation” 

“Don’t be. Lovelace always dazzles everyone. And I’m quite curious to find out why she chose this order to present the works” 

He didn’t know. 

“She didn’t. I did. And I’m doing the presentation. I’m so nervous” Harry looked at her with shocked eyes. Then he looked around. Then back at her, finally taking his glasses off and looking right inside her eyes: 

“Then can you help me make sense of everything?”

“I think I’ll let you find out with the rest of the people here” 

“Why are you teasing me so much? I wouldn’t do that” 

“No, you would do worse” she looked at him with a glint inside the honey color of her eyes “actually, I think you will do worse to me, one way or another” 

“Depends, if you’re a good girl then it won’t exist any teasing. So come on… enlighten me. Tell me why everything is organized like this” 

“It’s a story. And that’s everything I’m gonna tell you right now” even with their light conversation, Lavignia felt like there was an elephant in the room, so she finally decided to talk about it “can we talk? You know… about what happened?” 

“After this, maybe?” 

“Why aren’t you upset with me? I thought I would have to get on my knees and beg for you to talk to me today” 

“You stayed. The moment you decided to stay, I decided to give you a little bit of my heart. But after the presentation, we can steal a bottle of champagne and go to the office upstairs” he took the bit of her hair that was loose and fixed behind her ear “about getting on your knees: you still can, darling” smiling he gave her his own glass “and there is my favorite embarrassed little girl. Now drink, Jeannie is going to the stage right now,  your presentation will start soon. 

The anticipation she felt about the promise of an “later” with Harry was only bigger than the wheels that were turning inside her stomach. Lovelace was getting up on the stage, god she was going to die. 

“Ladies, gentlemen and everything that is in between, good night and welcome to our new exhibition: Love and Sex” people were clapping and shouting “Before telling the story behind those pieces, I wanna thank Angelino, from Villaggio dell’amore, for making such a delicious dinner for us. Also I would like to thank Vanessa, she works for the gallery since 1975 and since she got here, we only got better the same goes to Harry “she said posting her glass towards Nessa then Harry “you not only came here and invested in our little gallery but you gave us so much more, most of the pieces from today wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. You had this idea and with our little help, we created this magic. So thank you” he raised his glass and say something in Italian that she couldn’t quite pinpoint with all the clapping. 

“Now, not long ago our family got a new member. She came here with her doubts but the moment she allowed the pleasure behind the art envolve her completely, she changed this exhibit for the better and today she’s going to be the one to talk to you. Graduated in Arts in Communication and my new adoptive daughter: Lavignia” 

Harry gave her a small pat on the but like saying “you’re up”. 

When Lavignia climbed the three steps to the little stage, she could feel like she was shaking. When she hugged Lovelace, she was shaking. The moment she saw all of those people faces, she was shaking. But when she saw his smile, she wasn’t shaking. He gave her peace of mind. 

“Thank you, Jeannie, for the lovely introduction” he gave her a not “Welcome to Love and Sex, today, we are going to tell you a little story” 

“From the start of the day, we have this huge Sunlight, a piece from Joan Semmel. Sunlight here isn’t only the signal of a new day that begins. When we talk about Love and Sex, we also talk about the discover of yourself. Know your pleasure, own your pleasure. Make love to your own body. You will never get the meaning of true love or sex, unless you become acquainted with yourself. Inside out. That’s what Sunlight is about: is the vision of the artist upon her own body. When she loves what she see and knows each part of her; what makes her quiver and long. When she makes her own body shake with love and sex is when she is ready to discover the world. Because the moment you understand yourself, you can understand others without any prejudice or pride. The moment you allow yourself is when you can finally deliver yourself to the fogs of pleasure, so well represented by Correggio’s Jupiter. Because here Jupiter is desire, is temptation, it’s the deliver. It’s when you embrace the feeling of bliss. That’s actually why we put gods and goodness together, because when you look at Aphrodite, you want to be inside the piece, you want to be this woman that not only represents beauty but also love. It’s when the pleasure you search it’s at its peak. Orgasm. High. Whatever word you might want to call it” 

Harry was looking at her with attentive eyes. A proud smile. A promise of an later. Everything about the way he looked at her made her feel anything but ashamed for the things she was saying. She had a speech prepared. But she remembers nothing of it because the moment she was on stage nothing else mattered beside her feelings towards the pieces, at the end everything is about feelings. 

“And then, we finally have The woman with the black stockings; because sometimes you have the chance to find people whose intensity matches yours and you just want that person. You dream and you desire, because now, sex is not only sex but is also love. You fuck at 10 am but have slow sex in the evening. Whatever this person wants, is theirs. You are opening yourself. Not only literally but metaphorically, as well. And you can only hope this person doesn’t get scared only because you’re so open” 

The whole moment she was talking, people were walking around the artworks. But now, they were all looking at her. Now was the time to close her explanation and kiss her man, the same man that was so attentively looking at her and helping her since the first day. 

“If love is a prose, sex is poetry. From all the artworks I just told you all about it, they all share the same theme but are shown in a different way. From the fog that encapsulates the young woman in Jupiter to the woman with her open legs showing to her lover that everything that is hers is also his. Giving him the privilege to see her in such a tender yet sensual way. Because love and sex are privileges. You can have one without the other, but together they are powerful. Is a privilege because you can’t find that in others so easily. The ones that can see what pleasure is all about, that there is no shame in longing, in wanting, in quivering for someone but also recognize than when you do it all of this with love: Is irreplaceable”

Looking around she saw people with tears in their eyes. Lavignia was so proud of herself. 

“Is a privilege because not everybody can find that. A few people spend all of their lives without knowing the true pleasures of the flesh and others spend their lives wanting to be loved, waiting for someone to fit inside of them just like a puzzle. But, sometimes, all you need is you. The world is quite boring but some people know how to make it colorful, just like those artist that shows us the most inherent sentiment of the human race with the most primal desire of the human race. 

This, is love and sex. Enjoy your night. Thank you.” 

Lavignia could hear the applause. Lovelace went to give her a kiss on the cheek, Nessa and Cathy were hugging her, welcoming her to the family. Journalist wanted to talk to to her. She could see cameras flashing and unknown faces congratulating her. But her focus was in looking for him, and she found him: at the top of the stairs, with a bottle on his hand, he gave her a nod, pointing toward the office door. Lovelace, that was standing right beside her told her to go. 

.

The office had baby blue and white walls. That was the first thing she noticed. There was a bathroom and a big window showing the hot Italian summer night. In the middle of the room was a desk and sitting on that same desk, there was a man picking at his nails with a champagne bottle next to him. When he heard the door, he gave her a smile and stood up. 

“I thought you were going to ditch me” 

“No. Just had a lot of people wanting to talk. Sorry” 

“Nothing to be sorry for” he took a step closer to her “can I just start by saying how I’m so fucking proud of you? You gave such a nice speech and you made the theme so much better than what we initially thought. Cheers to that” he gave her a small smile and the bottle. Taking from his hands and drinking a big gulp, the sweet taste of the champagne that had notes of cherry filled her tastes buds. She gave him the bottle back so he could drink and asked him: 

“What was the message you took from everything?” 

“That love and sex is to let yourself go. As you said, it’s a privilege… and what a nice privilege” they were standing in the middle of the room, the sound of the party downstairs was nothing compared to the silent conversation that was happening behind every word they exchanged. 

Harry thought Lavignia looked beautiful with the lights from the night sky illuminating her beautiful face. It was only then and the moon. Their only witness was the moon. He wanted to get a paper and write everything he was thinking. Maybe he would named Her and the moon and would say something among the lines: even the moon takes chances in betting that our love begins tonight. Strong or weak. Happy or sad. 

But they still had so much to talk. So Harry decided to begin: “why were you so harsh to judge? Not only me but everybody here, actually” 

“I think I was intimidated by you. You came telling about your weekend and I could only think ‘he has done more in three days that I have done my entire life. And I don’t know I think when you mix that with the unknown, I ended up misjudging you. More than once. Even when you were always so open to me” she got the champagne, drinking some more “I’m so ashamed for how I treated everybody here. You and Nessa and even Lovelace that first night, drinking everything and passing out.”

“You don’t have to be ashamed, we are family here. And family forgives, right?” he pinched her nose “And yeah, I understand what you mean, we tend to fear the unknown. Were you really discussed by me? And the fact I like a little bit of everything?”

“I think I was jealous,actually.  And I hated myself for the feeling you gave me since last Monday when I saw you walk through the door. But I don’t think I was actually discussed, you know? Not at you, at least. Maybe at myself. It was hard to understand all the feelings I was having  and also understand that feeling all of this is okay” 

“I thought you were beautiful, you know? I was captivated by you since the first day. And we were always on and off during the week. There were days I thought you were finally understanding us and days I was sad because you looked at us as if we were monsters... exept when you start talking about art. That’s beautiful. You lose yourself in it.” 

She was so closer to him now, playing with his rings. Harry noticed little lines on her forehead, like she was thinking about something. 

“You seem like you want to ask me something”

“Do you still want to get to know me? Or have I missed my chance?” He laughed at that. 

“Of course I wanna get to know you.”

In that moment, both of them let go a relieved breath. It was crazy to think about how much could change in one week. Lavignia always thought you could only feel like she was feeling was you know someone for years, but sometimes you have the privilege. 

It was a brand new start, the Sunlight was a reborn for her. And now they were on the same page. They were both open. They both wanted a real chance. 

“Will you be patient with me?” She asked him 

“Always.”

“When are you going to kiss me?”

“When I’m finally inside of you”

“And when is that?”

“In a few hours from now, when the party has died down a little bit”

“I was thinking you were going to kiss me now.”

“Well... we can do other stuff, you know?”

“Like the painting at your house? It’s quite sensual” 

“Look at you. How do you managed to be able to talk like this in just two days”

“You can’t  see it because of the lack of light but I’m blushing right now but... you are right. I had to discover myself. Actually one of your poems helped me, and all of those paintings, they created a good picture in my head.”

“Are you saying you got off to one of my poems?”

She nodded her head. Affirmative. 

“Which one?”

“The one about the fruits”

“Fuck... you are making real hard for me not to kiss you right now”

“Why don’t you?”

“I’m going to. Just not now. If I’m going to kiss you I’m going to do it right. Laying on my bed, with me inside of you. But it doesn’t mean I can’t do something to help you. I can see you’re squishing your thighs.” getting closer to her, he looked right inside her eyes, making her feel dizzy. 

“Tell me, darling. Ever heard about voyeurism?” Harry asked with his deep voice just above a whisper.

She was feeling dizzy. His perfume was increasing all of her nerves. The smell of vanilla marking her melt while the notes of  tobacco was igniting a fire within herself she never felt before”

He got closer again and grabbed her hips “I’m not going to ask again... ever hear of voyeurism?” 

She nodded her head. A negative. 

“Well...it’s when you have satisfaction of watching people engage in sexual situations” he said in a low whisper close to her ear, she was shaking. Harry was walking her backwards till her back was against the desk “I would love to see you hump this pretty table till you get lost in the feeling of a delicious high. And then I’ll take your wet panties from you and put it on my front pocket, close to the part that is aching the most to get to know you” he raised her to sit on the desk, opening her legs in a position her clit was resting on the cold and hard surface “then we are going to mingle. People are going to come to you and talk about how good your speech was. Cathy and Nessa are going to want to take photographs. Poor them, little they know my little girl is without any underwear, wet and waiting for us to get home” he started to help her move her hips on the desk. The first few waves of pleasure passing through her body like little flicks of energy “and then I’ll take you home and fuck you properly for the first time in your life, would you like that, darling?” She nodded her head and he gave her a peck in one of her eyelids “good. But, for all of that to happen I need you to do me a favor and come” 

“Won’t people hear me?” 

“And what’s the matter of that. We are not working anymore. We are enjoying a very sensual party, just like everyone else. And I can promise what we are doing here... everybody down there had done at least two times worse” she was hypnotized by him and his damn perfume “fuck it, right?” 

Fuck it 

Lavignia felt her hips moving more and more. Her toes were turning inside her boots. Harry was whispering dirty nothings close to her ear, leaving light kisses across all of her neck and chest. Holding her tights open, helping her move, sometimes moving his hips closer to her just so she could feel the promise of later. 

Harry let go her trembling body so he could watch her. Taking two steps back he admired her, her body was moving like an erotic dance, one of the straps of her dress was falling of her shoulder, showing him a little bit of the left breast that was covered by the thin fabric of the bra. And then… that was when he saw it: the white stockings. 

“Aren’t you a work of art.. I wish I could paint you right now, make Shiele quiver with jealousy that he didn’t get to capture you” 

She could feel her orgasm approaching, the little flicks of pleasure growing stronger the harder she rolled her hips on the hardwood table. 

“When we get home, I’m going to spread you open, I’m going to kiss and lick every single part of you. I might have to sell my soul just to not come to soon because my body it’s so hot for you. So so hot. Come on, little darling. Come for me” 

And she came.

 Like an avalanche starting from between her legs and making her whole body treble, forming incoherent words and losing its strength. But before she could fall off the desk, his body was back, holding her close and telling her to breath. Taking care of her. 

When she came down completely of her high he took her panties off. She was wide eyes when he smelled and said to himself something among the lines of “delicious”. 

This was only the start of tonight.

.

The wind was hitting Lavignia in the face, getting closer to his neck. His Harley was running around the Italian streets. She no longer felt ashamed for the thoughts going round her head in comparison to their first ride together. 

After their little encounter at the office they went downstairs holding hands. Getting funny looks and a thumbs up from Nessa and Cathy and a smile from Lovelace. 

They danced with people, looked at all of the artwork together for the billionth time, Harry introduced her to a designer that was at the opening and a few other people. When they noticed it was close to 2 am and people were leaving. 

They stayed to help to dismount the stage and be sure nothing happened to the pieces but Lovelace told them to go home. 

So now it was 3 am and Lavignia was taking advantages of her position behind Harry to stuck her nose in his hair and take in his smell. Maybe she needed to see a doctor. She was addicted to his perfume. 

When they finally reached his place, Harry gave her his key to open a little gate so he could park the motorcycle. She noticed that he had a very yellow BMW. 

“Not that I don’t like the Harley but how come you never drive this beauty?” 

“The gallery is so close from my place that I don’t see a reason why. But, I’ll take you for a ride anyday. How ‘bout that?”

She nodded her head while still looking at the car but the moment Harry touched her back, indicating to go in through the backdoor, she stopped everything to follow him. 

They were back to the black and white kitchen. Harry took of his white blazer, now only with the white tank top and the trousers. She could finally see his tattoos now. The naked mermaid, the ship. Lavignia was so hypnotized by him that she didn’t move from the door. 

“See something that you like, darling?” He asked putting the pink glasses on the table together with his blazer. Lavignia didn’t answer anything, closing the door, she walked towards him. Taking off her shoes and putting her purse on the table as well. 

“Can I get you anything?” He asked “some wine” she hugged his middle and nodded her head in a negative “or maybe water? Something to eat?” She noticed his smirk, he was living to tease her, but it was a week long teasing “little darling, if you don’t say anything I’m just going to keep asking. Put those pretty red lips up to good use and tell me what you want” 

“You made me a promise early tonight…” 

“Hey, come on… to be shy on me now” he was so close, the heat of his body could be felt in her back, he was closer and closer till… oh, he was already hard? 

“You said you were going to kiss me…” 

“I was going to kiss when…” 

“You…” she could do it, she could say it “when you are finally inside of me” 

“That’s my girl, come up”

He lead her towards the stairs. Lavignia wanted to see every artwork he had around the house but she was too focused on him (and his damn perfume). Soon enough they were in front of a dark wood door. 

His room had light pink walls, tall floor to ceiling windows and in the middle of the room a huge bed with a canopy. He told her to feel comfortable and she went to sit on the bed with her feet barely touching the ground. 

“Don’t you look pristine sitting all straight and proper. You can get more comfortable darling, I swear the bed isn’t going to bite you” 

He was kneeling in front of her, with both arms at each side of her body. 

“Why are you on your knees?” 

“Because I’m going to pray”

“I didn’t know people prayed before having sex” she joked

“Darling you can’t be serious”  she laughed and he was stuck admiring her but then she stopped at looked at the painting he had on the wall 

“Is that the 1910 painting by Luigi Russollo?” 

“Yeah, I like the way he uses his synesthesia to make the most sensual paintings” he kissed her cheekbones and started making his way down her neck, using his hands to fiddle with her dress. But he wasn’t done yet, we wanted to make her blush a little more “so… can I begging my prayer?” 

When she nodded her head he attacked her left breast over the dress, she was lightly moaning and he was getting dizzy. She was the best type of drug, every little thing seemed to me a new feeling for her and he wanted to watch her while she discovered more and more of the pleasures of the flash. 

“It’s too hot” she said is a whisper 

“Can I take of your dress?” Giving him a small yes, she helped him take of her dress, now, only in her bras and white stocking. She looked like a goodness, deserving its place with next with the Aphrodite back in the gallery. 

Harry used his hands to make her lay and opened her legs. He they started to kiss her legs, going up to the inside of her thigh, when she could feel his breath, he went to her other leg and made the same path. 

When he felt like both of her legs were full of loving,  he kissed just above her little point of pleasure, just to see how she would react. She whispered a little “stay” and he couldn’t wait anymore, he has to pray, he couldn’t delay it anymore so he just gave a full lick from her opening to her mound. Playing with her labia but never touching her clit, he wanted her swollen for him. Anxious for his lips, longing for his cock. 

Using the tip of his fingers, he was playing with her opening, but never actually penetrating her. When he thought she was getting loud enough, he started to suck at her clit the same moment his middle finger entered her. Using a come here motion, he found the button inside of her. 

Lavignia felt like she was in heaven, she was being adored by this man’s mouth and hands. She wanted more, she needed more. Trying to move her hips towards his mouth to get an even better feeling. 

Normally, Harry would hold the person down, but Lavignia looked like an angel and she had such a sweet taste. He just couldn’t so he gave her everything he could and let her take anything she wanted from his mouth and fingers. 

It didn’t take long till she was a trembling mess. Her release was sweet like honey and the most enjoyable thing to watch. 

While she was calming down from her high, Harry got up and took of his shirt, he was sweating too much. Then he help her up the bed and started to kiss her eyelids and comp his finger through her hair. 

“Hi” she said 

“Hey” he gave her a peck on the tip of her nose “do you want anything? Maybe water?” 

“No” she used her leg to press the tent that was appearing in his crotch area “I want what you promised me”

“Are you sure? We can do it tomorrow, I don’t mind if you’re tired. You came pretty hard” 

“Please, I want to feel you” 

“Okay” 

He was hers. Anything she wanted, he would give to her. So, her wish was his command. He stood on his knees and opened his pants never taking his eyes off of her. 

Lavignia was feeling her body burn so much. She was close to the point of hyperventilating, the moment she saw his member spread free. 

“No underwear?” 

“It gets in the way” 

When they were both fully naked (with the exception of her white stocking, “this one stays” he told her) and he was on top of her, he took one of her hands and asked if she has done that before. 

“A few times, almost five years ago” 

“I’ll go slow. Please, hold my hand and tell me if it hurts too badly” 

When she nodded, Harry got hold of himself and started to massage her with it, her clit, her labia, trying to get himself wet with her moisture. That’s when he remembered “on that nightstand I have a lube, it’s water based and smells like orange. Would you mind if I used a bit on both of us? It might help to ease myself into you” 

“Sure” she said with har breath starting to pick up again. So Harry for the bottle and warned her it might be a bit cold. 

Using the gel with both of his fingers, he got in easy, making the same come here movements and sliding his finger out with a “pop” sound. 

When he went to pass on his own dick, she stopped him and with a shy voice asked if she could do it for him. And he said yes. 

So she used both of her hands to be able to get his entire shaft and massaged him, up and down, squeezing when she got to the base and using the top of her finger when it was the head, all following his instructions. 

“Stop” he told her “if you continue I’ll come before we even start and I don’t think I can’t handle anymore” 

So, they were back to the same position as before, he on top of her, both of her legs were intertwined with his, his left hand on her right hand and they mouths finally close to each other.

When he started to enter her, she felt a small burn. It wasnt bad, but she isn’t didn’t knew if it was good. He was slowly easing himself and after a while she decided that it was a good type of burn. 

When Harry was all the way in he finally said: “I’m gonna kiss you now, okay?” 

It was a weird first kiss, but it was perfect. He was inside of her in more ways than he could explain. People say that when you have sex, even if it’s a one night stand, your essence connects with person, and they were connecting in a way that it was rare in any galaxy. 

Then he started to move, painfully slow, they didn’t have anywhere to go, that was no reason to rush. 

“You know, it’s not going to be good for my ego if I come too soon” he told her 

“After a week of reading I was hope for you to blow my mind not to blow your shot too soon” 

“Heeeet, that’s mean” 

He was loving it, he was having sex with the most amazing girl and they were still able to have that banter he loved so much. God, he was going to fall in love with her. He could feel it. 

After that, they let their bodies to the talking. She was moaning and so was he. It was sweet. It was hot. It was everything love and sex is all about. 

When they were done, Harry got them water from the kitchen and a banana. Then she wanted to do it again, so they did it, this time against the bedpost. When they were done, they talked for hours, finally getting to know each other. They feel asleep the sun was already high in the sky and there wasn’t any worry  or shame for her neither any pain for him. They were cured and were ready to begin another journey, this time with one another, another day, another sunlight. 

Day 7: a balcony in Italy https://www.saatchiart.com/art/Paintings-Bedroom-Balcony-In-Italy/1131921/4490457/view

She woke up alone inside the bed, completely naked with the exception of the satin sheets. There was a single sunflower resting on top of the tiny desk next to the bed with a simple paper that read: 

Good morning, bunny 

Get out of the room and take a left. You will find a round wooden stairs that will lead you to the balcony. I’m waiting you for breakfast. 

Getting a purple robe that smelled just like Harry she went upstairs, finding a suspended garden with all types of flowers she could think. There was an old table  that looked from 1930, on top of the same table there was fruits and pancakes. The sunlight was shining from the big balcony, letting the Italian summer fill their lungs and eyes. 

She found Harry sitting  on one of the chairs, wearing a green and white striped shirt with washed blue jeans. She could see he had shaven because there was no scruff but his mustache was still there.  Just from looking at it she feels a chill running down from her back till it reaches her most private parts at the memory of the same mustache passing across all of her body in his always there teasing manner. 

Harry didn’t see Lav at first, but he did listened to her footsteps. Writing something in his journal, not touching his food. Waiting for her. 

“You know... how long are you planning on staring at me? Should I get naked to make it better for you?” He said with a smile on his face, finally looking at her with a shine inside his eyes. One that hasn’t left since they made up yesterday. 

“Sorry I didn’t...”

“Bunny you can stare at me all you want. But I bet you’re hungry, so why don’t you come here and eat with me?”

Lavignia started to walk towards Harry but he stopped her: 

“Naked” that made her pause all of her movements. “Take of your robe love, and come and sit on my lap. Let’s eat together, shall we? I wanna be close to you” Messing with her tangled curls she looked around and at the balcony: what if someone sees me? 

But it only took one look at Harry to know that there is no problem because even if someone sees them: fuck it, right? Isn’t that what she learned from this crazy week?

So she took off her robe, trying to look Harry in the eyes, no matter how much she wanted to look at the ground. Walking towards him, she won a beautiful smile as a present for her courage. 

Now, on his lap, with her back against his front, she relaxed. Maybe was his smell - the fant reminder of the perfume and sex - or the way he kissed the back of her neck and passed his hands through her hair. 

“So what do you want?  We have coffee,orange juice. Bread and eggs. Pancakes and fruits.” 

“Isn’t a bit late to be eating breakfast? It’s almost 3 pm” 

“I mean... we did go to bed almost 8 am. And I see there is nothing bad with having breakfast for lunch” 

With that Harry served her first (she wanted strawberries and pancakes) and then choose a slide of watermelon to start his meal - god knows how much they needed to eat after the night rolling around the bed. 

“How did you have the time to make such a big breakfast?” 

“Oh, I only made the pancakes” he said using his free hand to caress her right thigh “was planning on getting you breakfast in bed, and all of that. You know how smitten I am with you, bunny” he gave her a pitch on the cheek but continued talking: “But Lovelace sent this big breakfast as a thank you for the success that was the opening night yesterday. So I thought: change of plans. Organized everything here and left the note for you. But it didn’t take long because I don’t think I waited more than 20 minutes till you showed up using the robe even if I was very clear that you should come naked” he said giving her a funny look, pretending to be disappointed. 

“Well... I don’t see you being naked” 

“That can be arranged in 30 seconds, if you want” 

She laughed and they continued to eat, the only sounds they could listen was the birds and the faint radio from someone outside, playing a romantic yet cheesy Italian song none of them ever heard. 

Harry was using his free hand to tease her. Pressing his leg upon her mound. She was getting wet, feeling the heat of June so much hotter than actually way,  like she was inside a stove. 

“So, is here that you and your...” Lavignia was curious about his miscellany in bed, but she didn’t want him to feel mad or think she was jealous, she was just curious “guests “yeah, she choose the right word “here to refresh?” 

Harry laughed: “my guests never actually even been here or my bedroom” 

“Oh, so I’m different from all of them?” 

Harry turned her around on his lap,  with both of her legs each side of his waist. He took her head in both hands with a serious look: 

“From the moment I saw you I was captivated. When I noticed how different you were I was so afraid you wouldn’t give me a chance because I have had my fair share of broken heart: from being cheated on to people who just said I can’t imagine the father of my children dressing the way you do all of that hurts, you know? I always give everything of me to the world but I never see the return of something that could be meaningful. And I think you mean something. I know you for only a week but there is a piece of me that wants to get to know you, fuck, even if you didn’t wanted to try and open up for life I would still find a way to be in your life either way. There is something inside those honey colored eyes that made me get so lost inside of them that I started to talk so much nonsense the day we met” he shook his head in a sign of denial “ I know I am a bit out of the usual guy but the first thing you heard from me was about a three way I had just the weekend before, that is no way to met someone you would wanna take out on a date, right” 

“No. I was intimidated. I still am. There is so much I don’t know about the world and I only found out when I walked through that gallery door.” 

“I think we balance each other and I can’t wait to figure it out more of us. If you want” 

“I would like that” 

“So, can I take you out on a date?” 

“Isn’t this a date?” 

“No, I wanna proper wine and dine you. Maybe take you to the movies. Fleetwood Mac is coming to Rome next month, we can have a little weekend getaway together” 

“Okay. You can take me on a date” 

He kissed her with fire in his soul after this. He was so used to being used just for his body or people with the dream of being one of his muses. And now he finally had a chance to start something amazing with this shy girl who is thrust so much in him. 

“Good. Now that is settled, I wanna try something.” 

He raised her up to her feet, opening his pants just enough to free his semi erect cock: “come and sit on me” 

She looked at him with questioning in his eyes: “what about breakfast?” 

“We are going to eat breakfast, come on” and with that she carefully sat on him. Both of them growling. 

He took her plate and gave her a bite of the pancake. Everything seemed surreal for her: he was growing bigger inside of her and she was getting wetter. Every time she tried to move to get a bit of friction he would stop her. So there was only one thing for her to do: accept the food in her mouth and watch when he took bites of his watermelon looking at her. There was just something so erotic about everything. 

“You know” Lavignia said when they were done and Harry rested their plate on the table “you are stuffing me full both ways right now” with that joke they started to laugh together 

“One week ago you wouldn’t say this” Harry noted “I’m proud of you bunny. So proud that I’m going to give you a reward. 

She looked at him, questioning. But he just took his hand and tapped her lips saying: 

“Open up” she opened her mouth “tongue out” 

And he did what she wasn’t expecting but it wasn’t a surprise at all: he sucked her to the inside of his mouth. Using his right hand to pull her hair while the other was getting down her body. 

“Tastes just like strawberries, so fitting for this summer evening” He said before going in for more. 

They started to kiss and his fingers were playing lightly with her clit. Never giving the pleasure necessary but always there... remembering her of the feeling of him inside and outside of her. 

The more they kissed faster he would move his hand in her intimate parts while the other was manhandling her, with a strong grip on her hair, she couldn’t move. She was completely at his mercy. 

When they both couldn’t take it anymore, Harry got hold of her hips, lifting her up and slamming her down his body, sending sparks through both of their bodies. 

In that moment, she was stuck with the feeling of him he was the only thing that mattered. If someone could see them from the balcony: so be it. Even being on top, he was the one making her move. She couldn’t wait till the day she’d have the courage to be the one in charge. 

“I’m not gonna last long” said Harry “sorry” 

“It’s okay...” she said moaning. She was close to coming but from the sounds and the beating of Harry’s heart against her own: he was closer. Following her instinct she started to roll her hips every time he slammed her down, biting his neck and moaning in his ear: just for him. 

It didn’t take long till Harry’s movements got a bit out rhythm so she said: “fill me up, come on. I need to feel you, to see you” 

Harry was a goner. Closing his eyes and opening his mouth. He looked like an angel, if angels could be naughty as him. 

When he opened his eyes, there was this adoration inside the way he looked at her. It was so loving that Lavignia said a little “oh” when he simply got up with her on his lap,used his hand to get whatever was on his way and her threw her on the desk, in the middle of the food, books, flowers. 

He got down on his knees, looked at her through hooded eyes, mouth close to where she needed him the most and said: “second breakfast”

And third. 

And forth. 

The end

Oh, God, this was almost one moth of work and I’m so glad it all turned out just like I wanted, but first, i need to thank someone.

This fic exists thanks to the book “Woman, myth and godness”, it’s a book about the represetation of the woman inside arts, literature. It was how I found out about Sunlight, and fell in love with the concept.

And last but not least: I decided to use an OC because she had such a strong personality I needed to give her a name. If anyone is curious the faceclaim is a south american singer from the 70s called Gal Costa, so yaaay for poc charecter.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it!

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

okay so I didn’t make much comments about it as I watched but I will not, spoilers beware

Okay So first-

-I didn’t expect the Space Designs to be featured this way. But I loved it. The designs worked so beautifully and I’m absolutely in LOVE with Astrocat. 

-FUCK YEAH SABRINA GO GET SOME

-Her little crush on that guy was really cute, I didn’t pick up his name, but it’s really really nice to get Sabrina screen time.

-The blushing added years to my life

-I’m surprised we didn’t see much of Chloe, but it was nice too see her in general.

-WHO IS MR BUSTIER!? TELL US SHOW! WHOM IS THE BABY DADDY-

-I love Supermom, her gender fluid owl wife, and their children bird baby and “gave Kriptid a heart attack when they first saw the trailer but now makes Kriptid want to adopt” child.

-I fucking adore them so much.

-I didn’t expect Nightowl and Sparrow to be girls, but I fucking loved it still

-Jess(was that her name?)’s little moments of “OKAY LETS DO THIS!” and “NO NO WAIT THIS IS CRAZY!” were relatable.

-those two sticking their heads into Adrienette, they know what’s up

-Neither of Adrien or Marinette know how an automatic door work. 

-They’re really made for eachother.

-I am now imaging PV Felix and Bridgette trying to open an automatic door.

-During the scene where tall Teledoor dude transports everyone to safety I saw Rose immediately hug Juleka. They didn’t do anything this entire special, but I was happy to see them anyways.

-I love the little scene where Ms Mendeleieve turns off the lights and then EVERYONE JUST POPS THERE HEAD OUT- that was cute

-AGAIN! SABRINA! IS SO ADORABLE! AND DESERVES HAPPINESS! I hope this whole experience makes her more independent

-Rose holding up Ivan made me literally snort.

-”Just a friend” jokes gave me life

-SPARROW IS SO FUCKING COOL

-The animation was so pretty. I miss SAMG. So much.

-Eon (is that her name?) quoting Majestia was adorable.

-Okay but seriously?

-I’m not a big fan of Adrienette, mostly cause of the love square shenanigans 

-But this Special was really nice

-Yellow roses

-Ladybug just getting genuinely upset was- idk- it was nice to see. 

-Adrien actually giving up his miraculous? Not a good moment. But, I super understand him and it felt like Syren’s memories of being trusted, everything between that and now boiling up, and then finally bubbling over with him renouncing Plagg.

-Shit hurts

-Also Nathalie and Gorilla are just vibing. Love that.

-The deeper voices threw me a bit, but they were welcomed.

That’s most of my thoughts on it. Overall, I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.