#i made it my goal to record the entire damn scene
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
ANYBODY ELSE FEEL CRAZY
#bg3#wyllstarion#bloodblade#bloodfrontier#bloodpact#wyll x astarion#astarion x wyll#baldurās gate 3#wyll ravengard#astarion ancunin#ever since i saw those wyllstarion gifs#i made it my goal to record the entire damn scene#I FEEL CRAZY IM CRAZY MAN#yes i made them kiss Twice here what abt it#i find the 2nd kiss so funny theyre like tryna eat eachotherās face LMFAO
1K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Had a dream I was watching season 3 of Rottmnt, it was so vivid and now Iām sad that it isnāt real. So Iām writing some highlights from the dream before I forget.
Draxum and Casey focused episodes on what they were doing during the movie. There were really cool action sequences with original music and everything. It was so cool. There was one scene where the screen divided in half to show both battles.
Music during action scenes. There was a lot of it. I suspect it might have been because I watching Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur before going to sleep tho.
An episode premise: April finally had a good stable job. She was going steady for a whole 2 weeks setting a new record. The turtles got a little suspicious since April can never keep a job for long. Cue investigation, it turns out the job is a front. A front for a cult. April accidentally joined a cult. By the end of the episode April accidentally destroyed the cult in the same way she usually ends up losing her jobs. Alas the curse of April losing her job was too strong.
Another Episode Premise: Splinter and Draxum go undercover for an intel mission at a fancy club. The cover story being that theyāre two friends who are trying to reconnect. Theyāre kinda bad at it since both argue like a married couple. This actually works in their favor tho as the person theyāre trying to spy on to get info on is a huge romantic who is super invested in trying to get the two to āreconnectā. Both are forced by the turtles to play along for the sake of the mission. By the end of the episode Draxum and Splinter have performed a proposal, a wedding, a divorce, another re proposal, alongside with a remarriage, but not another divorce because they have to book it away because the turtles got captured. Which meant by the end of the episode Draxum and Splinter were still married.
Over Arching Story: Bishop was hunting down the remaining Foot Clan members. Which included trying to find former Foot Clan members for any information. Of course leading Bishop to Casey. Casey sends him on a wild goose chase as she goes on her own mission to find her former bosses. Being the B plot for a lot of the episodes. In one instance she teams up with Piebald in a gambling ring to win some info.
Running Gag: Casey Jr tries going into the dating world but has trouble since most people who are his age now, were adults during the apocalypse. So if he does find someone to date who he doesnāt recognize they usually end up being some form of ānot realā. Highlight examples being: an alien who assumed a human persona to lure specimen to experiment on their ship, a demon with similar motives to the alien except it wanted to eat Casey Jrās soul, an ai made by Bishop made to find potential Foot Clan members. What was funny was how obvious a lot of them were, like the alien wore a āI believeā shirt but with sharpie added ādonātā, changing it to āI donāt believeā (real master of disguise right here). The demonās āflirtingā was something along the lines of āif souls were edible and had taste, I bet yours would be a delicious meal that would amplify my demonic powers. If I had demonic powers, which I donāt because Iām a perfectly normal human. But in the hypothetical where I do-ā. The ai when asked itās favorite hobby responded with ābreathing and being humanā.
Bishop had an entire episode where he beat up different clans in his attempt to find the Foot Clan. Making some leave their old clans to join Bishop since he bested them in battle. But Bishop didnāt want a bunch of ninja (idk why not, that sounds incredibly useful) so he sent them on a wild goose chase but every time he did they came back having accomplished the goal. (Again I donāt understand why he kept acting like they were an annoyance when they were getting him things like THE GOD DAMN ELIXER OF EVERLASTING LIFE)
Thatās all I have the energy to write. If I remember anything worth adding I will but I think these were all the highlights.
#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the turtles#save rottmnt#rottmnt movie#rottmnt#rottmnt baron draxum#rise baron draxum#rise casey jones#rottmnt casey jones#rise cassandra#rottmnt cassandra jones#rise casey jr#rottmnt casey jr#rise splinter#rottmnt splinter#rottmnt april#rise april#april o'neil#baron draxum#casey jones#casey jr#agent bishop#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2018#rottmnt season 3#foot clan
138 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
Oh, Muse. *sighs dramatically and falls to the floor* Like you said in the replies on one of your posts, all this and all this damn time just for Daryl to end up leaving everyone he ever cared about. I kept watching this entire time because there there were always juuuust enough scenes or eps that made me remember how good the show could be and how much Caryl was still a quality ship in spite of it all and this is how they choose to go out. A completely lackluster final season and so many of us holdouts who likely no longer even really care if Caryl does go canon because looking at this entire shitshow they'd prolly immediately kill her so because Daryl has to ride off into the sunset alone crying manly tears and the out of all the Daryl ships the only ones who "win" are rabid NR fangirls ship him only with themselves. You truly were the smart one getting out long ago. It's honestly almost impressive how much so many of us used to love TWD and how AMC just sucked all of that out of us over time. If their goal was to make people feel like we wasted way too much of our lives and kind of wish we never even bothered, well mission accomplished, I guess. I feel like BenAflecksmoking.jpg
Honestly, we are all mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually the benaflecksmoking.jpg. It's just with twd that the house behind him is actually on fire at the same time.
1. Anyone who stayed watching has my respect. First and foremost. I stopped because I realized I just wasn't enjoying anymore. It did nothing for me. In fact, it just made me mad. Again and again and again. Also, the fandom got so caustic you couldn't even like minor characters that smiled in Carol or Daryl's direction without them making 'victory' cakes when they inevitably died. Wildt. So, I bounced. I understand why people didn't.
2. I think, truthfully, this stings me less than others because deep down I never really thought they would do caryl the justice and love it deserved. I thought the caryl spin off was a miracle, considering tptb's track record, but honestly thought it would probably end up like this after one season. With NR huffing his ball hairs and zooming off on his bike like some real life fan fiction he is writing on a diner napkin and shoving in a writer's pocket.
3. The sad part, like we both mentioned, is this completely negates Daryl's entire journey as a character and it is hysterical in the worst way that NR and tptb are so blind to it. I can't see the spin off succeeding without MB tbh. Twd only had the die hard fans left, most waiting for caryl. And now? Well, they got NR and his self-fanfiction, I guess.
4. My advice to all? For what it's worth? I have none, just gentle love and the promise that there are people in this fandom who will write a better caryl ending than twd could even dream.
Tough times, queens.
42 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Cris Tales has given me one big Thought, though. Spoilers, lol.
Like, okay, I donāt have problems with the ending, since I played the game after the DLC wave, aka my true good ending included a confirmation that Crisbell survived, so my big problem with the story isnāt the ending.Ā
Honestly, itās the plot twist that the Empress is Crisbell.
And okay, I know they explained how Crisbell came to be the Empress and sure, okay, yeah, it makes sense, but hear me out. One thing I really loved about Cris Talesās story is how thereās a lot of foreshadowing. Things just fit. Willhelm shortly leaves the party in his house? Yup, heās probably recording those things for when he dies. Matias going missing in Crystallis? Yeah, probably scheming. Unknown Cinderian in Ceniza? Yes, itās Juraās wife whoās become unrecognisable! The ruins that Oropen is interested in? Heck yeah, they are part of the late story.
And even things that the characters donāt necessarily get, but as a player you do. I knew Father Miguel worked with the Empress the moment I saw the stained glass in his chapel. Or when the mayor called Lana aĀ āCinderian spyā, it clicked that it was Lava all along.
All this to say, I think Cris Tales did a great way weaving the overall plot together, which is why Crisbell being the Empress is the only plot point that just didnāt work for me. A good plot twist should be shocking, but it should also make you look back and goĀ āoooooh, holy fuck!ā. Thatās why the one where Matias turns out to be Ardo did work for me. I completely didnāt see it coming. It was an insane left field. I was gobsmacked. But then I looked back on the game and I was likeĀ āyeah, okay, I can see thatā. I mentioned Matias going missing in Crystallis, but in hindsight it is a bit suspicious that Matias did so much to make clear that Crisbell started this entire journey and he dictated what she was going to do a lot. Heās the one who told Crisbell to travel back in time etc. Heās the one who told K to kill the Empress. Heās the one who says that he can understand that Rhallus would do whatever it takes to have a second chance at life.
But for the Empress reveal, we only got, like, two animated dream sequences that donāt make any damn sense. I donāt know about you, but when I saw those scenes I was indeed confused, but it never made me thinkĀ āoh boy, maybe this means that Crisbell and the Empress are the same!ā, so yeah. I think it wouldāve worked way better if during the story, Crisbell started developing arrogance. The Empress kept saying that thatās whatās always her downfall. Like, if during the story, Crisbell would get a bit of an ego. Sheād be so confident of her power, that sheād be blinded by anything else thatĀ āprevents her from achieving the goalā of stopping the Empress. And that she would start to see herself as the Chosen One. Then it makes sense that one day all that arrogance and blindness leads to her becoming a woman who has no problems harming others to achieve her goal. Now, the difference between Crisbell and the Empress just felt too big?
I mean, you can say that itās part of the story. Crisbellās disbelief at the twist is understanding. How can she become like that?Ā
Also, I just cannot imagine any version of Crisbell who would kill Willhelm. Nope. And since I also watched the bad ending, didnāt Willhelm recognise Crisbell as the Empress from the very beginning of the game. It looks like Crisbell/Crysta/Empress looked a lot like Crisbell when she first met Willhelm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Unfiltered thoughts watching mission impossible rouge nation inspired by @chaotically-cas
(sorry its so long my brain is all over the place)
this is also part 14 of me watching it every day :/
CURSING WARNING !! ALSO SPOILERS !!!
why is brandt first to speak
starting out with "shit" good call benji
brandt man we get the package is on the mcfucking plane
badass luther 10/10
nervous benji 10/10
that one sound effects sounds like the discord notif
why he in a fancy suit
*jumps on a plane with almost no plan on getting inside*
why did tom cruise think this was agood idea?
but like why would benji even open the ramp?
how is he not winded from that?
classic ethan
THE INTRO 1000/10
SOLOMON LANE !!
wait you can already see lane in the record shop.
how do they tell the agents these little convos?
also damn way to give it away
what if someone just looked in that room and saw the secret message?
also how did the disc get changed? because the imf definitely didnt make that
and how did lane know where he was going?
speaking of lane---
dang that man is pretty
he always sets guns down carefully
i can only see alec baldwin as trump from his snl skits so i dont take hunley seriously ;-;
damn brandt needs to step it up. man keeps letting himself be inturrupted
bruh the imf is only luck
why did no one resrict his legs?
also why is janik such an asshole?
dang she cool !!
why does it take janik so long to get that gun?
bravo-echo 1-1
this man is bleeding but decided instead of taking care of his wound he calls brandt.
i like how you actually see ethan worried and confused trying to plan his next moves. he is rarely caught off guard so it's refreshing to see his more human side
hunley spitting accusations damn bro
also a big fuck you from ethan to hunley
dang ethan is good
brandts little hidden smile
and ethan leaving trails
bitch how you sketch that good???
STAN BENJI !!
youve won, your way out of a job
benji is good
my little brandt x benji shipper in me is happy
simon pegg is such a good actor
the first time i saw this i was like: aww noooo
all dunn with that
TO THE OPERA !!!
TUX BENJI TUX BENJI
i cant tell if that was ethan
it just looks like youre talking to yourself thats more sus than using a phone
want drama? go to the opera
ok but like if you look like that im sorry you are a bad guy. thats like a stereotypical bad guy face
benji-
you can see ethan in the background of that scene
flute gun flute gun
oh no benji is in the closet. dont worry man we love you
if i were there and i just had a good vantage point i could find lane in an instant
ooh ilsa pretty
pipe gun
also pamphlet computer
those key things are cool and plausible
spiderman spiderman does whatever, ethan hunt can?
a W O M A N
what W O M A N?
reminds me of a marshmallow gun i made out if pvc pipes.
why does she not put that thing back?
also the dude loads it and then later it is unloaded
dang that guy is pretty tall.
ethan is so tiny
dis bitch is like uhh gimmie a sec to catch my breath mate
why he only dropkick people?
only 30 mins in ?!?!
the cinematography is exquisite
yes benji goin sicko mode
*gets shot* just a flesh wound
bruh i would've been so startled at that
i love how confused he is at that
ilsa saves ethan once again
they did this on the first day of filming
skdjs
ah yes random package in car = not bomb totally
if she tried to shoot benji then yes she is a bad person
but she didnt try to, she could've easily but didn't
benji being paranoid
she could just say the dude's name
benji being scared
hunley jumping to conclusions
brandt actually cares yeey
why di they approach from different sides of the street they were in the same car.
benji was far away from the sparks why he flinch?
friendship goals
oop plot dump that only mission impossible can get away with
ok...
why this mf's voice so smooth
lane is struggling with chopsticks
also lane :))))
ive chocked on my water so many times watching this scene
lanes voice :))))))
SHE RUINED HIS SUSHI WHAT THE FUCK ILSA
this man dont know what personal space is
gotta look up these peeps mbti types
casablanca references
also benji is wearing dollar store lookin glasses while ethan is wearing some fancy glasses
luther is top notch
as much as i dont like jeremy renner he delivers these lines really well
because atlee is a bitch
oh honey please, impossible is a walk in the park
benji just wants to wear a mask
id be so nervous walking through those
yes...
personal wellbeing who?
why not bring a plastic bottle full of air?
tom cruise can hold his breath for 6 minutes and he learned to do so for that scene
luther big brain
damn cctv
why did they need to break in while benji was going in?
das sus but ok
also isnt et voila french?
she just randomly tapping the ipad
benji being stressed
if he missed the exact center
i want one of those to open my locker's lock
if he just went with the current and didnt try to force his way against the water ilsa wouldn't have had to save him
imagine if he put the wrong one in-
she is breathing heavily to over saturate her body with oxygen so she can hold her breath longer
see ilsa makes it out without well and she went with the current
BENJI'S OUTFIT YESSS :))))))
no you didn't
you gave her a false sense of security
ethan's confused face for the next like 10 mins is great
liar
why does that one man look like sean ambrose?
parkour
skdjdksjdjdkfjs
the facial acting in this
STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS
the glare yesss
vrrrm vrrm
hey its you !
drivin like a grandma
shit !
benji just screaming
im convinced that ethan is indestructible
no you didn't survive that
bonk
dskfh
ethan didnt just-
also why didnt benji just tell ethan he made a copy ???
dont shoot and drive kids
high speed motorcycle chase with no helmet or leather. tom cruise, how?
i wanna learn how to drive a motorcycle
HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD YET ?!?!
the lighting
ofc brandt would be the person why sits backwards on a chair. fkn bi vibes
benji to the rescue
fuck off atlee
i am so proud of us ...
the lines are done so well here
benji lookin like how i look when my parents argue
YES THIS SCENE
LANE LANE LANE LANE LANE
im too fucking gay for this movie-
once again no personal space
*inhales* :))))))))))))))
ive like memorized the entire script of this including the music
1 man performance of m:i5 ???
benji's outfit
also i love how youre able to see the characters in the background. props for the attention to detail
i need that haircut because his hair is lookin A+
fuck you atlee
ilsa spitting straight facts
uhh ilsa he still loves julia
NO BENJI NOOOO
EW FUCK OFF JANIK NO ONE LIKES YOU
speak of the devil-
betrayal--
WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY !??
actin sus
BENJI LANE BENJI LANE
his posture shdhskhsj (i cant be talking though)
0 personal space whatsoever
why does everyone have the same haircut in this???
simon mcburney pretending to be hunt prentending to be atlee
manipulation !?
the syndicate you say ? i know a thing or two about them š¼š¼š¼
damn though renner delivers these lines really well
a black tie? how informal. ..
complimenting hunt right infront of him
but he really didnt
i never realized that they were on the clock for this
huh...
the lil head nod though-
HAHA YEAH FUCK YOU ATLEE
is it bad that i hate atlee more than i hate lane?
ethan big smart wrinkle brain
janik just reading a fucking magazine
ethan has a photographic memory
oh look its benji :)))
lane :))))
ethan being tough
it must be aquward to get the low angle shots
lane is running out the clock to put pressure on ethan hmmm big brain
it isnt working though :\
damn he so cocky that hes telling the villain his plan
ill give you 1/5 of the money you wanted to get my bf back
ok but like does tom cruise just not age?
kill the woman
ugh i hate janik
the trust that is shown between those two is great
yes the score and the chase are so great
also this man really hates windows for some reason
fuck off janik
sneaky sneaky
EYY ITS LANE !!!
yeyy janik is dead
once again dodging bullets and hating glass
couldve killed him but needed him alive
the glass box
badass ethan
all the pretty men assembled
lane really let himself go aster this
dang though lane is my favorite villain ever
i like how for once the girl and the guy just are friends instead of romantically involved
eyy the callbacks to how the movie started.
welcome to the imf
#benji x brandt#mission impossible rogue nation#mission impossible#ethan hunt#benji dunn#luther stickell#ilsa faust#william brandt
63 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text

Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Prayers and Salutations Cult Members! I am your mysterious minister Reverend Chainsaw and this is another nights revival service at the Cult Film Tent Revival. I bring you a special word tonight. Tonight's word is about a person who roamed the earth, in a time where people were backward and warlike. A leader emerged into a kingdom full of eschatological expectation. This leader came preaching peace, and was killed for the sins of the world, but was resurrected. In that resurrection a new hope was brought to the planet, and true healing through the power of love in the face of violence is made possible. I am talking of course about Princess Nausicaa from the Valley of the Wind.
The Message
Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is the film that put studio Ghibli and Hayoa Miyazaki on the map. No animated feature this grandiose and epic had been achieved by 1984, as much as Disney may beg to differ. The tale may be simple, and it may feel super 80s to us today, but Nausicaa is a masterpiece, and the fact that Howl's Moving Castle is brought up alongside Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away more often than Nausicaa is a farce and a tragedy.
The film takes place on a fantastic planet that seems to have suffered the ravages of an apocalyptic war. A war that involved gigantic warriors with powers so devastating they about made the entire planet inhospitable if not uninhabitable; save for a few areas. The fall out of this ancient war has left the earth in a state of repair, where the natural processes of a planet healing has creating giant toxic jungles.
Beyond these jungles lie two imperialistic factions, they seem almost to be city-states but it's not terribly clear. The Kingdom of Tolmekia, a militaristic proto-fascist society of almost Spartan sensibilities. Tolmekia is governed by the ambitious and cynical Princess Kushana, But I like to call her Furiosa. Just like Furiosa, Kushana is physically missing parts of herself, a visual metaphor for her metaphysical lacking and the parts of her humanity she has cut away. Kushana's world view is one of fear, a fear that can only be quelled by waging a genocidal campaign against her enemies.
Speaking of enemies, the Athens to Tolmekias Sparta would be the Pejite Kingdom. The Pejites might like to view themselves as simply responding to Tolmekian aggression, but the narrative of the film, and the story told quite visibly on the body of Kushana, is quite different. The Pejites are just as bloodthirsty if not more palettable in their approach, but like the Tolmekians, they believe only their own lives have any value. And thus, in this theatre of war, a Giant Warrior from the ages before is unearthed by the Pejite Kingdom, Stolen by the Tolmekians, before the forces of nature themselves, seem to conspire to drop the Giant Warriors "egg" right into the Valley of the Wind.
The Valley of the Wind is populated like the world of Avatar the Last Airbender, that is mostly of children and the elderly. The people of the Valley have been able to remain untouched by the ravages of war and the toxic jungles of the damaged world primarily due to geographic luck that's explained in minor exposition in the film. They are ruled by a King, and they are all deeply enamored by their beloved Princess Nausicaa.
Nausicaa is a gentle soul. She is kind to animals, she is empathetic, unreasonably patient, and bears pain and grief inflicted on her out of cruelty with a saintly understanding. She really is a thinly veiled Christ figure, scratch that. There is no veil. But she's also my favorite Christ figure. She does not preach a message, as much as she tries to save everyone from their own short sighted goals. She is not perfect, she does lash out and do some fantasy sword fight murder, but she regrets her actions so deeply that it seems to have played a part in motivating her to become even more compassionate and patient with the evils of the world.
Nausicaa discovers yet another plot by the Pejites, who are afraid of the possibility of the Tolmekians awakening the Giant Warrior, to use animal cruelty to enrage a group of almost invincible giant insects known as the Ohm. By luring the Ohm into the Valley of the Wind where the Tolmekians have become an occupying force, they hope to completely wipe out everything that threatens them. The Tolmekians DO awaken the Giant Warrior and pure pandemonium ensues. Nausicaa manages to save the Baby Ohm and calm the rage of the bloodthirsty Ohm swarm, and to defeat the warlike tendencies of both the Pejites and the Tolmekians. All the while fulfilling a prophecy fortold about a messianic savior figure called the Man in Blue.
Now that you have heard the Gospel of Nausicaa, please stand to receive The Benediction.
Best Character: Half a Person
Now that I've spent the better part of this review gushing about our Lord and savior Nausicaa. I have to admit, she's at times a bit too perfect, a bit too saccharin. Even her flaw, or her one weakness and her failing to be perfect, just adds to the perfection. I can't even say she never makes mistakes cuz she made one, and that's infuriating. It's even more infuriating that I still think she's a great character. Normally this kind of thing really kills a hero. Most Chosen Ones are the most boring and least likeable characters in their narratives. I don't know how Nausicaa avoids this trap, but she does. I'll have to do some meditating on that.
However, just like in your typical Chosen One fantasy narrative, the hero is a lot less fun than the villain. I'm going to say the best character in Nausicaa is Kushana. I want to be like Nausicaa, but I don't understand her. She's almost alien, even though we learn all about her. Kushana is mysterious, secretive, and enigmatic, yet I understand her. She barely has an arc, she doesn't really change. She's cold and cynical to the bone, but I don't need to see much of her situation to completely understand why she is the way she is. I usually hate totalitarian bad guys, but Kushana I like. Sue Me.
Also fun fact, did you that Nausicaa means 'Sinker of Ships'. That's kinda fun.
Best Scene: Spoiled for Choice
I'm going to be lazy and say take your pick. There is really not a bad seen in this movie. If the action isn't going, then there's intriguing dialogue. If there's no dialogue then you may be about to get hit with a forceful burst of whimsy. There's horror, there's swordfights and aerial dogfights. The only thing in Nausicaa I don't like to see, is the bloody tortured Ohm Baby. It's like a god damned Sarah Mclachlan commercial.
Best Creature: Foxy Shazam!
The Ohm are so simplistic yet so detailed. The number of eyes is alien, but the way they are used is expertly expressive. Who'd think you could get me to love what basically amounts to a silverfish with the intensity that I love a kitten. How did Miyazaki pull an Okja with a creature that should be haunting our dreams? I don't know.
And what about the Giant Warrior! If you are an Evangelion fan then you probably already know that Hideaki Anno designed and animated the melting goopy biomechanical beast. Surely a sight that would make both H.R. Giger and Clive Barker giddy with excitement. Just the image of the silhouettes marching amidst the desolation of the old world is burned into my brain.
So which of these is the best creature from Ghibli's first outing? It's fucking Teto. It was always gonna be Teto you idiot. Just look at Teto, he's adorable. He's too cute to exist. I'm so alone. I need a pet.
Best Character Design: Tolmekian Regalia
I originally included this category to talk some about Kushana, however, at that time I also thought I was going to say Nausicaa was the best character. I thought hard about deleting it, but I think it's a different category and you can't accuse me of playing favorites because my favorite character is clearly Teto. Just to keep it simple. It's the two costume shift from full military regalia in white and gold, to the one metal arm, warrior princess get up. It's a great costume and a great look. Get on this shit cosplay nerds. It's great for Cons in Canada, you have to think about layers, and you can't keep going as Mr. Plow. It's lazy.
Best Excuse to Talk About Patrick Stewart's Character: Lord Yupa
I just realized that I was about to write this whole review without talking about Lord Yupa. Lord Yupa is a sword saint and all around badass I think a lot of entertainment, especially in the west is lacking bad ass old men. Lord Yupa particularly shines in the early half of the film as a warrior and as a wise council to Nausicaa. If she's Jesus then Yupa is John the Baptist. He is also voiced by the elegant and eloquent Patrick Stewart. He also comes with 2 chocobos!
Worst Character: For Whom Asbel Tolls
This might also be the worst actor category as well. Actual Cannibal (haha meme) and actual monster (haha real life) Shia Labeouf doesn't so much act in the role as he read the lines and it was recorded. The good news it doesn't effect the film too much because Asbel is completely forgettable. He is a catalyst to some of the action, but besides that I don't really care for him.
Worst Aspect: To Be Fair ...
It would be unfair to completely ignore anything negative about Nausicaa. I have already mentioned in many places that there are some pretty corny, or pretty predictable tropes to this movie. But what I can't capture in words is exactly why it feels fresh when it's done in this movie. I suppose that's what makes it good. It's just so good that it's weak points are lifted up by it's strengths. Some people may bored of Nausicaa's unyielding goodness, or that she very rarely chooses to take action as much as she chases and pleads with her surroundings, but I mean, she does pay for that eventually. It's a fantasy story and it hits a lot of timeless themes that have been hit in stories for as long as human beings have been telling stories. Some people may feel that it doesn't do enough to stand out.
Summary
I have defined the S tier for myself as "near perfect and personal favorite" films. I like to think that Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is near perfect. Some may say that it looks like it might just be a personal favorite. In the case of Nausicaa, I'm having a very hard time telling the difference. I think it would be overly simple to claim that Nausicaa is just an ancient archetypal heroes journey with an 80s anime coat of paint. I think it's doing quite a few new and interesting things with that formula, those things are just playing out all around that narrative as opposed to being at it's center. For a first full length outing by the studio, you can really see Miyazaki's heart and the values he holds close to. I'll repeat myself so that we are completely clear on the matter. I think Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind is a near perfect movie.
Overall Grade: S
#Nausicaa#Nausicaa and the Valley of the Wind#SciFi#retro scifi#Fantasy#post apocalyptic#hayao miyazaki#miyazaki#studio ghibli#ghibli#S#Grade S#Grade: S#1980s#1984#anime#animation#japan#japanese#(S)
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Ghost of Tsushima and the Hands of Fate
I see we're still trying to prove that games are an art form by making everyone feel bad.
For the record, Ghost of Tsushima is one of my favourite games in a very long time. It is extremely pretty, the aesthetic and general ⦠polish is *cheff's kiss*. You can pet foxes and backstab people. The fighting mechanic is decent and there are just So Many Hats.
But also, it has the kind of story that pulls you in to the point where you have to drop the controller to hide behind your fingers going 'ohgodno'.
It is an absolute bastard of a game, is what i'm saying.
So let's talk about that, and specifically about Straw Hat Ryuzo and how I feel bad for him.
I am, by the way, going to be talking about the narrative structure of a video game about medieval samurai, so expect like, a bunch of spoilers.
The narrative is one of the big draws in Ghost of Tsushima. Like yes, it's an open world rpg with fighting and flower picking and all the important stuff, and also yes, some of the bits are sloppily written (looking at you, specifically, 'Ending to Norio's Arc'), but the game definitely sets out to Tell a Story.
And because this is a Serious Game that openly bases itself on samurai movies like Kurosawa's, it is a Drama.
In many ways it is an utterly brutal Bildungsroman, a narrative in which a young man finds his identity.
I have joked with friends about the clear intent for this game to make Important Stories, in that it actually tries to tick all the boxes of hotbutton subjects: childhood trauma? Obviously. Gay relationships?Ā Yup. Survivor's guilt and PTSD? Oh yes. Domestic abuse? Several. Suggested pedophilia? Damn, even that.
The foxes are there to soothe the soul
It's interesting to note that from a writing point of view, this bildungsroman is even Very Classically Structured. It goes so far as to be a three acter, with a pretty standard build-up.
Ā Jin Sakai, traumatized man that he is, spends the first act slowly getting to grips with the bit where you don't fight an army by yourself byĀ just walking up to them and challenging them With Honour, like he has been taught his entire life. Instead of getting stabbed repeatedly in the chest and set on fire, heĀ discovers guerilla warfare and creates this persona of the Ghost, a literal vengeful spirit seeking justice for the island of Tsushima.
It gets him some big wins and in the second act he slowly embraces this identity until things get to a head where he clashes with his entire old life. The third act starts at the hero's lowest point and is utterly gut wrenching (i am Still Not Over the horse, game), forcing him to pull himself together for an ending that is, wellā¦fitting for the narrative. It's an ending that is needed, but perhaps not what Jin deserves.
Ā But anyway, this is about Ryuzo, and how until that ending, I was very upset about his role.
You see, this story is told in part through the lives of Important Npc's, who contribute to Jin's journey of self-discovery. This is pretty obvious with someone like Yuna, who is the one to introduce him to the Stealth Life and who is a driving force behind the marketing of the Ghost.
Someone like Masako, meanwhile, portrays vengeance and self discipline, but Jin also kinda tries to make her fill the mother-shaped hole in his heart.
Lord Shimura, meanwhile, is an Obvious Father figure but also stands for Jin's past. He's rigid and ineffective, which pushes Jin to further look for alternatives.
Ishikawa, that other mentor figure, is more moderate and flexible, but he also represents a possible unwanted future. He literally warns Jin at one point not to become like him.
Norio, then, is as mentioned not the best written, but he too is a person that searches for his destiny and tries to become like his hero, while only barely holding on to his sanity.Ā
Kenji, I'm sorry, I love you but you're just comic relief, that's all you do. It's an imporant job in the story, because god does it need it, but you're not teaching Jin anything other than how to make different 'resigned sigh' noises.
So what about Ryuzo? From the very beginning, Ryuzo's story didn't really sit right with me. There's the obvious class issue: he's one of the few important npc's that are poor, and he's an Antagonist.
It has always rubbed me the wrong way that his original intentions were good, depending on how you read it. He's trying to feed his men. He essentially made the decision that this one man's life (even if it is an old friend) is worth the price for the lives of his band of ronin.
It's a lot more complex than that, of course. Ryuzo partly blames Jin for his predicament in life, and he also knows that samurai treat their soldiers as chattel, which the game goes out of its way to show you they DO.
Ā Essentially, he's a complicated character who makes bad decisions for arguably good reasons.
Ryuzo did everything he could to save the lives of the people he cared about. He went so far as to abandon his honor and his childhood friends, to try to make this happen.
Does that ring any bells?
It kinda clicked for me at the very end of the game.
Jin, being the protag in an assassin game, does a lot of killing. But some of these deaths are given more meaning than others. Some of them are there to make you feel like shit (the Horse Again, but you lose several friends along the way), others serve a more defining purpose.
You see, there's a fair amount of what i'd like to call 'intimate violence' in Ghost of Tsushima. It's an old trope. The 'if someone was gonna kill me, it had to be you' kinda scene that hails from a worldview in which some deaths are better than others, sure, but some deaths are better even than living. It's a worldview in which life itself is less valuable than your legacy. You die for your place in history. For your clan, for your family, for your honor.
Bushido is full of that sort of thing, so it makes sense that a game building on that worldview, would use the heck out of that trope.
Ā The first is Ryuzo's death. You fight him in a duel, in which he tries to plead for some resolution. You could let him go, come up with some story. But Ryuzo is a traitor, so Jin ultimately defeats him and sends him off in what would be a touching moment of bro friendship if it wasn't for the blood and my 21st century sensibilities.
You grant him a warrior's death, is what I'm saying.
Ā It happens again with Shimura. The game actually gives you a choice here, but if you go through with it, the scene almost perfectly mirrors Ryuzo's.
You fight in a duel, and Jin tries to get his uncle to just let him go, come to some kind of resolution. But Jin has been branded a traitor, and the only way for Shimura to restore his honour and clan, is to take his life;
This being a game in which you have the power of bamboo strikes and also save games behind you, Jin ultimately wins the duel, and has the option of granting Shimura a warrior's death.
It is utterly heart wrenching and that whole scene has no business being as pretty as it is. The swelling music? The fucking strings? The anguished yell?
Fuck.
Ā But anyway.
That's about where it clicked with me, that Jin never had a choice.
Ryuzo's whole role wasn't fair, but this is one of those stories where life itself is just not fair at all.
Both him and Shimura are there to show us Jin's path.
Ā What if, the game says, Jin had listened? What if he'd taken one of several offers the Khan made and surrendered?
What if he'd cooperated?
Well, we see in Graphic Detail what would happen. He would get pushed into doing horrific things. He gets manipulated, again and again, until there is no way out anymore. At some point it becomes clear to him that he's on the wrong side but whenever he tries to devise some plan to turn things around, things go Badly. He's firmly stuck in Khotun's web and the only way out is death.
But what if, the game says, Jin had stayed true to his honour? What if he had listened to his uncle, not defied him, if he had dropped the Ghost before it was too late?Ā If he'd gone full bushido and repented for the shogun and done all the groveling and the proper stuff.
Samuraihood is just another straightjacket, says Shimura's fate. The tenets are so rigorous you would take your loved ones life, while fucking bawling your eyes out. Shimura knows damn well it's unfair but he also has no way to leave this path. It's a ride he cannot, and will not, get off alive.
Ā Jin never had a choice.
There was only ever one way for him to go.
Like let's be real: pretty much everyone in this story was dealt a bad hand. It's a narrative about resilience in the face of utter horror, of reinventing yourself and giving up entire structures of faith. People like Masako, Yuna, Norio are finding peace in dealing with huge levels of trauma and regret.
The goal isn't to start a family and live happily ever after, it's to Survive.
Submitting to the mongols would have killed Jin's spirit. Standing tall and rigid as he was taught to do would have, ultimately, killed him as well.
Ā "I've given up everything to save these people", he says near the end. "And I would do it again."
That's someone who has no regrets.
Jin never could have taken another path and he knows it.
And this is why Ryuzo needed a fate as shitty as his. He fell, so Jin could walk.
I'm sorry, it's still not fair.
This game needs some comfort fic.
#ghost of tsushima#jin sakai#ryuzo#narrative analysis#story analysis#i have Many Feeling ok#and this is how i deal with them#ghost of tsushima spoilers#gots spoilers
66 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 3
I have been waiting for this reunion for literal years. It did not disappoint.
Chapter 3: The Amyrlinās Anger
Oh, weāre doing this!?
One thing I can guarantee: I am definitely not ready. Childhood friends turned childhood sweethearts turned near-siblings turned uneasy allies turned near-enemies, perhaps turned uneasy allies once more, with prophecy and opposing institutions and the apocalypse hanging over them?
Iām just. In case you havenāt noticed, I have a lot of thoughts about this whole dynamic, and I have been waiting for this⦠probably since they last saw each other in Lord of Chaos. Before that, even. Since they were set on their separate paths, but with this thread, strained and near at times to breaking but a thread all the same, of some kind of love between them that might, in the end, be enough to do what their predecessors could not, and face the end together.
Also their stories have been running in this fascinating not-quite-parallel for so long but they havenāt interacted in so long that Iām just! Very excited for this reunion and the pain it will no doubt bring!
I should start reading now, shouldnāt I?
Egwene floated in blackness. She was without form, lacking shape or body. The thoughts, imaginings, worries, hopes, and ideas of all the world extended into eternity around her.
The imagery of that last bit catches my attention here because it plays very close to the position Rand holds: stood at the centre, a force, or a being more than a person, touching all the world or ā in Egweneās case ā all the worldās dreams. Itās just an interesting one, in amongst all the other parallels and inversions between them.
Though her feelings for Gawyn were still strong, her opinion of him was muddled recently.
Just break up with him already. Please. Youāve already once decided that actually no, I donāt want a storybook romance with the designated hero thank you very much; you can do it again.
The dreams of all the people here ā some from her world, some from shadows of it ā reminded her why she fought. She must never forget that there was an entire world outside the White Towerās walls.
This is her anchor, just as Rand has now at last found his. Or, not even an anchor so much as a reason. Something to fight for, something to remember and strive for beyond the fight itself. And again this places her very much at the centre as well, looking at all the people, all the dreams, the entire world. They just each have their own ways of going about it, and their own reasons for doing so.
Time passed as she lay bathed in the light of dreams.
Just quoting this one because itās pretty.
Itās sad to see Egwene thinking of the Wise Ones in terms of ādealing withā them, but also not really surprising; thereās been a distance between them ever since she took on this role. They hid the events of Dumaiās Wells from her and she chose the Aes Sedai over them and it is, perhaps, one of the harsher aspects of the way she absolutely embraces her role, the good and the bad.
Ugh, fine, dream of Gawyn if you must.
A more simple life. It could not be hers, but she could dreamā¦
Everything shook.
Or not. Iām just imagining this as the Pattern itself interrupting like āEGWENE, PLEASE. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM.ā
(Yes, the Pattern speaks in all caps. No I will not be accepting constructive criticism on this point).
This pleasant dream interrupted by an emergency broadcast: thirteen black towers rising and then all but six falling. In case you werenāt keeping track of how many Forsaken were still alive, I suppose.
And then a follow-up as a reminder, I assume, that Mesaana is still in the Tower.
Unless the eagles-and-snake bit is referring to the Black Tower? Still no idea whatās going on there these days; itās been a while and Iām very, very curious after that ominous line drop in the KoD epilogue.
She saw an enormous sphere made of the finest crystal. It sparkled in the light of twenty-three enormous stars, shining down on it where it sat on a dark hilltop. There were cracks in it, and it was being held together by ropes.
There was Rand, walking up the hillside, holding a woodsmanās axe. He reached the top and hefted the axe, then swung at the ropes one at a time, chopping them free. The last one parted, and the sphere began to break apart, the beautiful white globe falling in pieces. Rand shook his head.
Innnnnnnnnteresting.
The sphere (and its breaking) sounds ā first of all a lot like the Sharom because what, you thought Iād pass up a Rhuidean reference? ā like the Dark Oneās prison, perhaps. With Rand cutting the ropes like breaking the seals.
Or maybe the Choedan Kal, with all the brilliant light of that enormous power, that he has now broken. Or the world itself, I suppose. Iām going with the Dark Oneās prison here, probably.
But what are the twenty-three stars?
Thirteens are common, you canāt swing a cat in this series without hitting a duality, threes and sevens crop up on occasion⦠but what the hell numbers twenty-three? Except for the graves Bashere once had to dig for oak trees on the orders of the mad general he served, but while there may be no such thing as coincidence, thatās a bridge too far even for me.
Nations? Okay now Iām just curious if I can name them all, so⦠in the wetlands we have: Altara, Amadicia, Andor, Arafel, Cairhien, Far Madding, Ghealdan, Illian, Kandor, Mayene, Murandy, Saldaea, Shienar, Tar Valon, Tear. Then the Aiel, or: Chareen, Codarra, Daryne, Goshien, Jenn (?), Miagoma, Nakai, Reyn, Shaarad, Shaido (?), Shiande, Taardad, Tomanelle. Then Seanchan and Shara on the edges, the Athaāan Miere and the Tuathaāan, and the dead nations of Malkier, Manetheren, and the Amayar. The Ogier. The even-more-dead nations like Almoth and Eharon and whatnot. But even playing with the obvious ones like how to count the Aiel, or the dead nations, or the city-states, thereās not an obvious 23.
The Hall of the Tower maybe? Three Sitters from each Ajah is 21, so with Amyrlin and Keeper weāre at a much cleaner 23, and there is the whole āWatcher of the Sealsā element of the Amyrlinās role, so twenty-three stars watching could make sense.
Or, hell I donāt know, maybe there are 23 verses in the Karaethon Cycle. Meh.
Well, Egweneās focused on the Mesaana implications (rather than the Messiah implications; I crack myself up sometimes), which seems fair enough.
āHeās here, Mother. At the White Tower.ā
āWho?ā
āThe Dragon Reborn. Heās asking to see you.ā
HERE! WE! GO!
Because you know what this means? It means, once again, that weāre going to get outsider POV of Rand, after a crucial turning point in his character.
Twice. Because first, we got it via Almen Bunt, effectively a random character. We got to see a āfirst glimpseā of Rand, as it were. But now we get to see through the eyes of one who knows him ā or rather, one who knew him. One like him in some ways and so very different in others. An opposing role who once was a friend. Thereās just so many potential layers there, through which to observe, and I am inordinately excited for this.
*
Though okay right as I say that we shift POV to Siuan, so I may be pre-empting this.
That said, itās either going to be some form of outsider POV or itās going to be Randās POV and either way Iām going to be on the damn floor so itās a win-win situation here.
The Dragon Reborn? Inside Tar Valon?
I mean technically that was the goal all the way back in EotW, so you could argue that he just took a really, really long detour. Across the entire continent, a past life, and near-destruction of the world, but⦠details.
āHe was at the Sunset Gateā
How appropriate. Is there perhaps a Wind Tower for him to climb?
āWhat is his game, do you think?ā Saerin asked.
āBurn me if I know,ā Siuan replied. āHeās bound to be mostly insane by now. Maybe heās frightened, and has come to turn himself in.ā
āI doubt that.ā
āAs do I.ā
Harsh, Siuan. But not entirely unfounded ā at least on the mostly insane part. Heās not, but first of all how would she know that and second of all, if this were a few days earlier, that would be a much harder one to argue. (For the record, my own interpretation of Randās sanity or lack thereof before Dragonmount is a strong vote in favour if Itās Complicated).
Of, course, then thereās the whole issue of āhow long can you stay sane when the entire world is waiting for you to go madā but that is, perhaps, a moot point now.
āMaybe he heard that Elaida was gone,ā Siuan said, āand thought that he would be safe here, with an old friend on the Amyrlin Seat.ā
Oh no this already hurts. Honestly I think any reference to Rand and Egwene as old friends is probably going to, at this point, but also the way Siuan goes to this idea of Rand needing a place of safety. A refuge. Because in so many ways, for a very long time, she wouldnāt even have been wrong. Itās just that it wasnāt an option and there was no such place and the Dragon Reborn couldnāt afford that kind of weakness, and anyway he was never looking for safety for himself; it was keeping others safe from him that he wanted, back when he was just a shepherd boy holding himself together with determination and fragments of Warder instruction against power(s) trying to claim him from within and without.
But Siuan is remembering that boy, and Iām also remembering Rand in the early days at the Stone of Tear, trying so earnestly to let Elayne and Egwene help him with saidin, and how that, from a certain perspective, is not really so different from trying to find some safety in friends.
āReports call him mistrustful and erratic, with a demanding temper and an insistence on avoiding Aes Sedai.ā
I mean, up until ā what, a day ago at most? That would be not at all inaccurate. Especially from the outside.
Really I think this whole scene with Siuan and Saerin is largely to remind us of how Rand comes across to the rest of the world. Because the thing about that Dragonmount epiphany ā a crucial part of it, but one that is likely going to also result in some complications ā is that it was unwitnessed. Just Rand, alone, thinking. And if the cleansing of saidin was difficult to believe by those not directly involved (and even by some of those who were), how much harder will this be, in its own way?
And just to set the scene even more ominously as far as anyone but the reader is concerned, the floor tiles are now the colour (and sheen, and probably texture, and very possibly actual chemical composition) of blood.
It is interesting to contrast the feeling of approaching this meeting to how it felt in the buildup to Randās meeting with Tuon last book. That was just full to the brim of impending doom, of āthere is no possible way under the sun that this will end wellā, of āoh no, how disastrously is this going to go?ā because at that point Rand was in freefall and the only certainty was disaster. Now, thereās a sense of lightness in approaching this meeting. I mean, Iām still quite sure itāll hurt me, but the actual tension is different. It feels like waiting for catharsis, almost, rather than waiting for catastrophe.
So hey, maybe we just look at that meeting with Tuon as a practice run for Rand in terms of how to negotiate treaties with a woman who controls a decent part of a continent. If nothing else, it set the bar about as low as it could possibly be, so this can only be an improvement!
Siuan had harboured a small hope that she herself would be chosen [as Keeper]. Now Egwene had so many demands on her time ā and was becoming so capable on her own ā that she was relying on Siuan less and less.
That was a good thing. But it was also infuriating.
Oh, Siuan. Siuanās thoughts about her position in the Tower and how it has changed are always a little sad to read. Sheās so strong that itās easy, almost, to forget just how much sheās gone through ā and she canāt even just put it behind her and move on because sheās surrounded, every single day, by constant reminders of all she has lost and all that has changed. And even so, we only get these occasional moments of sadness or bitterness or frustration from her. The rest of the time she just⦠keeps going.
She wanted to do what sheād set out to do, all those years before with Moiraine.
It really is kind of incredible dedication to a cause. Even if āshepherdingā the Dragon Reborn is perhaps not really what is needed, she has paved so much of the way, and even from the sidelines has been instrumental, and this has been more or less her entire adult life. A thankless and often punishing task, one that has gone and will likely continue to go largely unacknowledged, one that has brought her hatred and suspicion and pain, and yet she does not question it, does not falter.
It's⦠I guess in a way it comes back to the whole idea of those who choose vs those who are chosen, but I like the way we see these characters who arenāt the Chosen One but who still give everything they are, and everything they have, to this world and this cause. Some because they must and some because they choose to and some for reasons in between but itās again this sense that while Rand stands at the centre of it, there are all these other stories and sacrifices and triumphs and tragedies spiralling out from that centre, all weaving together into this pattern. Or Pattern, as it were.
Also, I would like to strongly second the āwith Moiraineā part of that sentence. Can we have her back yet please? Iāve been good, I promise!
Bryneās here too, which means I also get to reminisce about the first (and last) time he met Rand, even before Siuan did, but another scene of Rand as little more than a shepherd, uncertain and afraid and getting by on determination alone and yet, as with his meeting with Siuan, still surprising those around him by being just a little more than expected.
(As for Randās first meeting with Egwene, we have no textual evidence but given their ages it probably involved eating mud).
āYou came faster than Iād assumed youād be able to,ā she said.
That is, quite literally, what she said. Iām sorry, Iām twelve.
āSheās what we need now,ā Bryne said, ābut youāre what we needed then. You did well, Siuan.ā
YOU DID WELL
Iām sorry, Moiraineās letter to Rand really just loaded all variants of that phrase quite heavily and itās not Moiraine saying it to Siuan but it may as well be, and to have anyone looking at all she has done and all she has been through, looking at someone most Aes Sedai now dismiss as inconsequential at best and to blame for their problems at worst, and actually seeing everything sheās achieved and everything sheās sacrificed and to just acknowledge it outright is⦠such a small phrase but it means so much. Because how many others would say that? How many others could? So few even know what sheās done and why and for how long. Egwene, maybe, but Egwene is still in some ways her protĆ©gĆ© and so not really in a position to give that kind of praise. Moiraine, but sheās still⦠on holiday. And thatās really kind of it.
Thereās a reason these kinds of tasks are called thankless.
āHeās standing below, watched over by at least a hundred Warders and twenty-six sisters ā two full circles. Undoubtedly heās shieldedā
My first thought was āgood thing this is Rand after Dragonmount otherwise I donāt think thereād be a Tower right nowā, but then, Rand before Dragonmount would probably quite literally not have been caught dead within balefire distance of the White Tower.
Whereas now⦠what a stark difference this highlights in his entire mindset and character. Once, the possibility of thirteen Aes Sedai sent him away from a city he was holding, tense and desperate and furious. Once, being shielded was ā well, I believe the direct quote was āLews Therin fled screamingā. Once, Aes Sedai so much as touching the One Power in his presence without his permission was like dancing on a minefield.
Now⦠he stands calmly, shielded and within the Tower itself, the stronghold of the Aes Sedai, of his own free will (and thatās it, isnāt it; thatās what truly makes all the difference in so many ways).
Also a bit of a random comparison but I canāt help but be reminded of Taim walking into Caemlyn to claim Randās amnesty, guarded and distrusted and hated by pretty much everyone around him and yet appearing, himself, all but unaffected by it.
āWell, what did he look like, then?ā
āHonestly, Siuan? He looked like an Aes Sedai.ā
Well. Lews Therin was. In an even older sense of the title.
And if weāre looking at the title itself, and its meaning⦠servant of all is sort of in the job description of a messiah figure, in a way.
I like how weāre reminded that, because of her Talent for seeing taāveren, Rand literally glows to Siuanās eyes. Which means the Dragon Reborn, the chosen one, the saviour, having now fully embraced his role, is walking into the Tower literally haloed in light. Thereās just a tiny bit of religious symbolism here, is what Iām getting at.
I also ā for all that Iām still hoping for a glimpse of Rand through Egweneās eyes ā am very very happy with the choice to show this through Siuanās POV. Because in so many ways it is a reflection of that scene in TGH where he is summoned to the Amyrlin, and she gets her first look at the boy who will be the Dragon but does not yet know it, and tells him what his role will be, and he surprises her in his stubbornness and strength but still does not truly accept what she says.
Now, we get the Dragon Reborn calling for an audience with the Amyrlin, having finally and truly embraced the full reality of that role. The first was, in a way, to set his path. This, then, feels almost like closing it. And in between those bookends was that long, fraught journey towards acceptance.
Me? Obsessed with symmetry and reflection in a narrative? Never.
She froze as he met her eyes. There was something indefinable about them, a weight, an age. As though the man behind them was seeing through the light of a thousand lives compounded into one. His face did look like that of an Aes Sedai. Those eyes, at least, had agelessness.
This is one of the things I just absolutely love about outsider POV: the way it allows you to almost re-experience the full weight of what you already know. To be able to almost⦠soft-reset, and then open your eyes and have the impact of it all over again. None of this is news, really, to a reader who has seen Rand atop Dragonmount, or even in the first chapter of this book. But we get it again anyway, because for one thing itās fun and for another it just serves to highlight what he looks like to one who does not have the privilege of being in his head (not that thatās⦠a particularly exclusive list these days, but thatās beside the point).
And itās also interesting how this doesnāt humanise Rand in the perception of others ā heās still very much in the position of being seen more as a force of nature than a person ā but the tone and the effect are so very different to before, for instance when he was lost or in pain or just desperate (or all of the above) and yet perceived as arrogant, inhuman, even monstrous. Thereās still this sense of⦠not being seen as just a person, being seen more in the heroic lines and angles of power and weight of legend, but the difference, I think, is that Rand himself accepts it now. It is now a part of who he is, and a part of him he accepts, and embraces, and steps willingly into.
It also gives him some rather extraordinary weight of personality so making his way through a crowd of Warders is a piece of cake. See, sometimes being the chosen one has its benefits.
āAnd Siuan Sanche. Youāve changed since we last met.ā
Oh. Okay yeah the fact that we get him saying this to her, rather than the other way around, is a really, really excellent way of just subtly shifting the entire balance of power ā not even quite power; something else I canāt think of a good word for ā of the scene.
It's the way it takes the way this scene is so neatly set up to be a bookend of that first meeting between them, and just⦠flips the obvious line on its axis. Itās still there, weāre still on script, but itās ever so slightly not what you expect, and that difference itself becomes the point. Because Rand is no longer the object of the scene; he is very much its subject. The assignment of agency and proactivity has shifted (he has chosen, now, rather than been chosen; a semantic shift that makes perhaps literally all the difference in the world), and this is just a really cool way to play with that.
If that made any sense.
āYou once took an arrow for me. Did I thank you for that?ā
This⦠this gentleness is absolutely killing me and weāre only a few lines into his actual appearance in this chapter. The way itās no longer forced, or agonised, or desperate, or serving only as a sharp contrast to either anger or apathy to remind you of who he once was. Instead itās just⦠there. Without brittleness or the aching sense of something lost. Thereās just a weird kind of beauty in the simplicity of this, in how itās just⦠him, without any of the hundred things waiting to shatter beneath that statement.
Maybe thatās it; the gentleness that doesnāt feel like the precursor to shattering glass. The way this isnāt a veiled threat, or a barb, or a forced admission, or a conversational gambit. Just thanks, remembered honestly and offered freely and thatās⦠it.
(Moiraine once took a Forsaken for you, Rand. Be sure to thank her for that too).
Anyway, Siuan sings Egweneās praises as Amyrlin, of course, and apparently everything Rand says or does in this chapter is going to just get me because:
He smiled again. āI should have expected nothing less. Strange, but I feel that seeing her again will hurt, though that is one wound that has well and truly healed. I can still remember the pain of it, I suppose.ā
Again itās just the gentleness that pervades all of this, where once there was turmoil and pain and a rage in him fit to burn the world, or else terrifying coldness and absence and a distant voice screaming. Itās like everything has finally fallen silent and only then do you realise how loud everything was before, and how maddening. Just⦠Rand being able to smile simply, and feel and express emotions in the normal human range.
And that sense of⦠wonder, almost, that you get from him at that fact. Itāsāthere is very much a rebirth kind of feel to a lot of this, because a part of it is that Rand is very, very aware of where he has just come from and where he stands now. Thatās the whole point: to get to this, he had to choose it and realise it and open his eyes, I suppose. And so now heās seeing everything through that new filter (or perhaps without the noise of the old one) and thereās a kind of beautiful simplicity and something like but also entirely unlike innocence to it.
Tiana has a letter for him with a red seal⦠one of Verinās, maybe? If so, Rand sure has a track record with Aes Sedai and letters left to him. She did have several, when we saw her with Mat⦠and I struggle to think of who else would have left one. Cadsuane, maybe?
āDo your best to calm Egwene when I am done,ā he said to Siuan. Then he took a deep breath and strode forward
CHILDREN. ALL OF THEM. That, right there, for probably the first time this book, is absolutely 100% a glimpse of Rand alāThor, Woolheaded Sheepherder, and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Wise, gentle, reconciled to his role, remembering his past life and accepting who he is⦠and still taking a deep breath and making contingency plans before going to a stubborn-off with his former childhood sweetheart. Iām laughing.
*
OH ITāS EGWENE, WE DO GET TO SEE THIS IN EGWENEāS POV, YES THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED.
This was not Rand alāThor, friend of her childhood, the man sheād assumed sheād one day marry.
Oh no, just start right out with a gut-punch why donāt you. No, Egwene, he is.
Except⦠he also isnāt, and thatās the sad part. But if this is to work, I still think thatās going to be the key: that they knowāknewāeach other as people. Except now Egwene is deliberately telling herself not to do that, and while itās understandable itās⦠that way lies the end of the Second Age.
No. This man was the Dragon Reborn. The most dangerous man ever to draw breath.
This hurts me in exactly the way I was hoping it would.
Just as Rand has finally accepted himself, and in some ways come back to himself (not quite, because you canāt go back you can only go forwards as the Wheel of Time turns, but heās no longer forcing everything about who he was away), Egwene is forcing herself to see him as anything but that. As just the Dragon Reborn, legend and monster and saviour and destroyer. Itās a perfect mis-alignment of timings.
(Egwene is steeling herself, just as Rand has finally stopped trying to become steel).
āEgwene,ā Rand said
ITāS! ABOUT! THE NAMES!
Sheās thinking of him, emphatically, as the Dragon Reborn⦠but the dialogue tag betrays her. We are in her POV and as soon as he speaks, he is Rand.
And the first word he says is her name. Not āMotherā or āAmyrlinā, not the opening of some request or demand. Just⦠āEgweneā.
He is the Dragon Reborn, come to see the Amyrlināhe asked for the Amyrlināand she is the Amyrlin steeling herself to face the Dragon Reborn and yet in the first moment, when that silence of waiting is broken, they are Rand and Egwene andā
I just. Maybe Iām reading too much into this but itās perfect and it hurts and I love it.
(Names are important).
He nodded to her, as if in respect. āYou have done your part, I see. The Amyrlinās stole fits you well.ā
WHY DOES THIS HURT ME? WHY AM I EXPERIENCING AN EMOTION?
Theyāve both just come so far and through so much and they hardly even know one another anymore, and thereās this almost-but-not-quite uncertainty and almost-but-not-quite familiarity, and yet it feels not like the anticipation before an āeverything goes wrongā moment but instead the anticipation of⦠maybe, finally, finding their way back to something? Or forwards, I suppose. Itās like the tentative formality of meeting someone for the first time in years, unsure of them and of yourself and of everything thatās happened in the interim but thereās something weirdly hopeful about it.
Maybe Iām just so used to liveblogging pain that I donāt know what to do with myself when itās not there, except in echoes and memories and all the space that has grown between them, but this is like⦠a hand offered across that intervening space.
From what she had heard of Rand recently, she had not anticipated such calm in him.
I mean. Thatās⦠fair.
Well, or she might have been led to anticipate a very different kind of calm. The calm of ice or cuendillar that could in an instant become, you know, balefiring an entire fortress out of existence.
Maybe save your musings on whether or not heās a criminal for whatever passes as a Geneva Convention in this world, Egwene. We donāt have time to unpack all of that right now.
āWhat has happened to you?ā she found herself asking as she leaned forward on the Amyrlin Seat.
āI was broken,ā Rand said, hands behind his back. āAnd then, remarkably, I was reforged. I think he almost had me, Egwene.ā
HELP.
THIS IS JUST.
I⦠wow. What do I even do with this?
Just as the first word out of his mouth was her name, and her first thought of him was as Rand⦠now, despite sitting on the Amyrlin Seatāwhich we are quite literally reminded of here, and I donāt think thatās accidentalāher first words are⦠call it concern, call it curiosity, call it demand, call it accusation even, but thatās not Amyrlin to Dragon Reborn there. Thatās not the opening of negotiations or a summons or a meeting. Thatās Egwene, looking at Rand. Itās like Nynaeve in TFoH reaching for him almost instinctively and saying āat least let me Heal youā.
And then Randās response!
āI was brokenā. Such a simple statement for so, so much more. And yet⦠thatās what it is. Itās the simplicity, again, that gets me. The simplicity and the self-awareness and the way he can look at it now, with that sense of removal, but this time not because heās walled himself off from the pain; instead, he lets himself feel it but he has accepted its reason and its source and its necessity. Heās no longer fighting against himself, and that lets him bear so much more, because so much of that pain came from that battle against himself, and from the fear of what he might become.
He spent so long trying to forge himself into steel, but in the end thatās not the reforging he needed. And now he knows that, and sees it, and thereās just something about a character who can stand on the far side of their own breaking and their own agony and speak of it calmly, whole.
It's just an entire situation Iām having here.
And that last bit. āI think he almost had meā. The memory of āit is HIMā. And the fact that Rand can see that too, now; can see how close he came to the Shadow without ever turning from the Light, and understand that nuance.
But also⦠there is still one very glaring loose end there: Rand has used the True Power. Sure, he doesnāt seem particularly⦠uh⦠compromised by that at this point, but I still just cannot imagine that wonāt be brought back in some way.
He spoke differently. There was a formality to his words that she didnāt recognise.
And then itās lines like this that keep this scene from being⦠to perfect? Not in terms of execution, but in terms of āthings going well and painlessly for charactersā. Because there is still a sadness to this, to Rand and Egwene looking at one another (and naming one another!) and seeing the person behind the role, and looking for the person they knew, and yet also still seeing elements of a stranger.
Because they have changed. Neither of them is at all the child they were when they left Emondās Field, and there is so much between them now, and that connection they have is worn and thinned and this isnāt a joyful reunion. Thereās catharsis here, and a tentative possibility of peace or friendship, but thereās also this recognition, each to each, of how much of what used to be is now gone. Theyāve both been hardened and shaped by their experiences and they both know it and recognise it in each otherāperhaps in part because they both also very clearly by this point recognise it in themselves.
āWhy have you come before the Amyrlin Seat?ā she asked.
And now we get the opening of Amyrlin-to-Dragon. But thatās not where we began. We began with Rand and Egwene, and Iāll shut up about it in a minute but this whole play of naming and identity is one of those little things that gets me pretty much every time it turns up in a story.
āIāve hated you before,ā Rand said, turning back to Egwene.
IāM FINE! THIS IS FINE!
Yes I am quoting pretty much every line of dialogue in this scene but LISTEN, IT HURTS ME.
The thing is, this is a statement utterly without malice. Itās not a threat or an insultānot even the childish sort of insult they might have exchanged last time they met. Itās⦠really, the only word that comes to mind is a confession.
Which plays into one of the features of Randās character that stands out so far in the brief moments weāve seen him in this book: genuine self-knowledge, and self-knowledge that he fully accepts. There is no longer any remnant of denial.
And that allows him to make statements like this and have them come across as, weirdly, almost benevolent. Nothing he has said is said with the intent to deceive, or to wound, or even really to manipulate. Itās just truthāand truth that he himself fully understands and accepts now.
So heās not fighting against her out of fear of being caught up in Aes Sedai strings, just as heās not fighting against Lews Therinās memories out of fear of being caught up in Kinslayerās fate. Instead of fighting against everything up to and including himself, heās just⦠him.
āIt occurs to me that Iāve been trying too hard.ā
Thatās exactly it. Heās been fighting, when in some ways what he needed was to learn how (and where, and when) to surrender. Though even āsurrenderā connotes a struggle or a conflict, and I think a lot of this realisation is that itās not about fighting or forcing or struggling; itās about accepting, and guiding, and leading. And choosing, of course.
āA fear that the acts I accomplished would be yours, and not my own.ā He hesitated. āI should have wished for such a convenient set of backs upon which to heap the blame for my crimes.ā
Wow. Okay, thatās⦠a line.
Um.
Damn.
Itās almost ironic, the way he instead tried to heap all the responsibility on himself and take all that blame and pain, and let it damn him and in doing so tried to pretend it freed him to act as he needed, no longer held back by such trivial concerns as humanity and his own conscience or sense of redeemability. But ultimately it came down to the same thing, in a way: an inability to accept what he was doing, and so trying to find a place to put all that pain.
(Or, as Lews Therin once advised, āIf it hurts too much, make it hurt someone else insteadā).
But now he sees that, too, and so instead of trying to escape the pain or treat it as āIām damned either way so may as well burn it allā, he understands his responsibility but in a more⦠balanced way, I suppose.
The Dragon Reborn had come to the White Tower to engage in idle philosophy
Moridin? That you?
I do sort of wonder, because Iām me, what impact, if any, Randās epiphany might (or could; I donāt really expect the story to go there, much as I might wish it to) have on Moridin, given the link they share.
āRand,ā Egwene said, softening her tone.
And now we get the reflection of the names from the opening of this conversation! Itās about the names! Itās about the dialogue tags! Itās about identity and perception and that thread of friendship that still binds them and might in the end be enough to save them from their predecessorsā fate!
āIām going to have some sisters talk to you to decide if there is anything⦠wrong with you. Please try to understand.ā
I mean you could not have phrased that less tactfully if you tried, Egwene, but it is kind of understandable. We may know full well that thereās less wrong with Rand now than there has been at pretty much any point since the start of the series, but how in the Light would anyone else be able to be sure of that? Heās certainly not acting like the Rand Egwene once knew, or even the Rand she last saw. Nor is he behaving like the Rand from whatever reports sheās received.
And yes, while I think the world waiting and watching for him to go mad hurt far more than it helped, thereās also the fact that that is what everyone and their mother expectsābecause up until what, a few months ago, that was inevitable.
So then in walks the Dragon Reborn, acting like⦠well, this, and what else are you going to do? A bit like the cleansing of saidin, as a reader you want all the other characters to just take it on faith, but the rather sad irony of Randās position is that his own word is the one no one is entirely sure they can trust. And the only one here who can vouch for him is himself. Elayne or Aviendha or Min might be able to, but none of them is nearby, and also that bondās been kept pretty quiet.
So anyway. Yeah, I can see where sheās coming from on that.
To his credit, so can Rand.
āOh, I do understand, Egwene. And I am sorry to deny you, but I have too much to do.ā
Thereās the woolheaded sheepherder again. Heās smiling here, and I am quite sure this is a bit of the old Rand dropping by to say hello and needle Egwene just a bit, because thatās what they do.
āA friend rides to his death without allies.ā
HE NAMED YOU FRIEND. AND NOW YOU REMEMBER HIM. THIS IS FINE IāM FINE EVERYTHINGāS FINE.
āThis is the part I regret. I did not wish to come into your centre of power, which you have achieved so well, and defy you. But it cannot be helped. You must know what my plans are so that you can prepare.ā
To be able to say that without so much as the hit of a threat in it is⦠quite a power move, I have to say. Because even here, I think heās still just being absolutely and even benevolently honest. He doesnāt want to undermine her. He doesnāt even really want to challenge her. He understands where sheās coming from ā which itself puts us so, so far from where he was just days ago, that he can meet her uncertainty and suspicion and say āokay yeah, thatās fairā.
And if he had time, I wonder if he might actually agree to that particular request.
But he doesnāt have time. Which brings us to the other extraordinary part of this statement: willingly offering up communication. Just. Straight up saying āyou need to know my plansā. Mark this date in your calendars, friends: a Wheel of Time character just offered, unprompted, voluntarily, to share their plans with another character, so that they can prepare.
I am astonished.
āThe last time I tried to seal the Boreā
You know, just the other day.
āI believe that saidin and saidar must both be used.ā
I think heās absolutely right thereāitās a part of what I love about Rand and Egwene, childhood friends for all that theyāve grown apart, holding the roles that they do; the idea that this bond between them, strained as it is, could allow them to do what Lews Therin and Latra Posae could notābut I also⦠he shall hold a blade of light in his hands, and the three shall be one. I just⦠wonder.
Egwene leaned forward, studying him. There didnāt seem to be madness in his eyes. She knew those eyes. She knew Rand.
YES!
THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED! That she sees him. Looks past the Dragon Reborn, past her role as Amyrlin, and for a moment she is just Egwene looking at Rand and it is by nature such a simple thingāstripping away everything but that simple identityābut itās also the thing that can give them a chance to do it differently this time. This chance of understanding, this one small thing that could tip them towards cooperation and trust rather than letting them turn away from each other or fall apart.
Light, she thought, Iām wrong. I canāt think of him only as the Dragon Reborn. Iām here for a reason. Heās here for a reason. To me, he must be Rand. Because Rand can be trusted, while the Dragon Reborn must be feared.
Maybe itās very Sanderson to have this stated outright, but Iām not even going to complain, because itās⦠perfect. To allow, in the end, trust and friendship and who they are rather than purely what they are come into it as well, even just in some small way, to bridge that gap. Itās what Lews Therin and Latra Posae couldnāt do, but Rand and Egwene have a chance to try again.
I just⦠have been spinning around on this EXACT CONCEPT for, I donāt know, several books now, and to see it playing out so plainly here is everything I want and I am never going to be okay again in my life.
āWhich are you?ā she whispered unconsciously.
He heard. āI am both, Egwene. I remember him. Lews Therin. I can see his entire life, every desperate moment. I see it like a dream, but a clear dream. My own dream. Itās part of me.ā
Itās a nice touch, that he speaks of it as a dream, to the one who understands dreams so well.
Itās also just a lot, to have gone from āso many parts of him, mind splintered in glittering shards, all of them screamingā to āsorrows and his own suicideā to a clear dream he accepts as a part of himself. The pain and desperation of it are still there, but heās no longer fighting them, because he no longer sees it as something heās bound to. Itās just a part of who he is, but it doesnāt have to define what he will be.
I also like this because Egwene was one of the first to notice him speaking to a voice in his mind. And now she gets this, just an honest and accepting response. It seems fitting, somehow.
The words were those of a madman, but they were spoken evenly. She looked at him, and remembered the youth that he had been. The earnest young man. Not solemn like Perrin, but not wild like Mat. Solid, straightforward. The type of man you could trust with anything.
Even the fate of the world.
THATāS IT THATāS IT RIGHT THERE. If they did not know each other, this could be an impasse. Not as disastrous as Randās meeting with Tuon, perhaps, because heās a little⦠uh⦠less omnicidal at this particular moment, but likely just as unsuccessful. An Amyrlin who could not trust the Dragon, and a Dragon who could not afford to give her the assurances she needed, and so two powers working in parallel but separately, almost in opposition.
But she knows him. And itās the youth he had beenāit is LITERALLY THE MEMORY OF A SHEPHERD NAMED RAND ALāTHOR, the echo of one of my favourite quotesāthat tips the balance the other way this time.
It��s Rand. The boy he tried for so long to destroy, because to be him hurt too much.
And I also really love how it isnāt about some Grand True Love between them that does it. They were childhood sweethearts, sure, but the love between them is that of friends, of a shared childhood, of something very much like family. And I like that thereās this implicit importance and weight placed on that; that in its way itās as crucial to this moment as the āveins of goldā were on Dragonmount
This is what Latra Posae and Lews Therin had. And so instead it falls to Egwene and Rand, to learn from their mistakes, and do what they could not. It is what Rand realised on Dragonmount, and what he is playing out now. A chance to try again.
And itās because heās Rand that thatās possible. Itās not Lews Therin, or the Dragon Reborn (but it is also both of those, because he is both of those).
āIn one monthās time,ā Rand said, āIām going to travel to Shayol Ghul and break the last remaining seals on the Dark Oneās prison. I want your help.ā
Well. I mean. Okay. Points for honest and straightforward communication, I suppose. I love that he just walks into the Tower and drops this on her like a grenade, though. It amuses me.
Ah, so she thinks the crystal sphere in her dream represents the seals or the prison as well.
āRand, noā
Rand: Rand yes!
Sorry, couldnāt help myself.
āIām going to need you, all of youā
Rand openly admitting to needing anyone or anything, and again just as a statement rather than a threat or an angry demand, is another thing thatās new and kind of refreshing.
āI hope to the Light that this time, you will give me your support.ā
Rand to Egwene, remembering Lews Therin to Latra Posae. And if everyone is someone reborn, whoās to say she isnāt? (Iām not⦠really sure whether Iād want that to be true or not, so I suppose itās nice that itās not stated one way or the other, at least up to this point. But it could be a fun one to play with). Either way, those very much are the roles theyāre echoing, and I swear Iāll shut up about this but I still just love how, so closely following Randās realisation on Dragonmount, we get to actually watch that kind of chance-to-try-again play out. A chance to work together, rather than apart.
āAnd then⦠well, then we will discuss my terms.ā
Ah well, I suppose it was too much to hope for him to communicate the whole plan right now. Baby steps and all that.
Also, you know, narrative choices and the need to keep at least something back.
āYour terms?ā Egwene demanded. āYou will see,ā he said, turning as if to leave.
So⦠the way itās framed puts us into very slightly antagonistic (and much more familiar) territory of lack of communication and demands and terms.
But I wonder what terms heās referring to, because there is a nonzero probability that heās talking about Callandor here. In which case, itās not entirely impossible that the terms heās referring to are, in effect, those of his own surrender.
I could be wrong. I very probably am. But itās⦠an interesting possibility to consider. And it would be kind of fitting, in a way, for that to be the uncommunicated and therefore misunderstood thing here.
Turns out āthe Amyrlinās Angerā is Egwene just shouting at her childhood friend ādonāt you turn your back on me when Iām talking to you, Rand alāThorā and Rand turning back like a boy who tracked mud into the house. I love them, I really do.
āWe must talk about this,ā she said. āPlan.ā
āThat is why I came to you. To let you plan.ā
He seemed amused.
Oh, heās absolutely amused. Part of him still is the boy you knew, and this is honestly just classic Rand-and-Egwene, for all that itās also on an entirely different level. They antagonise one another: itās what they do. But I donāt think thereās true anger here, on either side. And again, that is what could save them. That āangerā between them is⦠this, rather than that snapping of tension and dropping of any possibility of a truce and turning immediately to planning their next moves, all thought of alliance or restraint over, between Rand and Tuon.
Anyway. The other thing here is that⦠itās easy to be exasperated with Egwene, because just listen to Rand, heās sane now damn it, and heās almost certainly right about the seals.
But honestly? In her position? Knowing what she knowsāand not knowing all the things she doesnāt know, like the actual state of Randās mindāitās hard to fault her for pushing back on this. He walks in, says heās fine and that he remembers a dead manās entire life and also that they need to break the prison of the embodiment of entropy and chaos and evil, okay bye!
Like. As Amyrlin, itās her job to say āokay, right, Iām with you, but also what the fuckā. It would be irresponsible not to.
Of course⦠I get the impression Rand knows that, too. And is, perhaps, counting on it. He came to her to let her plan, and he doesnāt seem surprised or upset by the fact that she doesnāt just immediately say āokay cool when do we startā, and he has a certain respect for the position she holds.
I think itās entirely possible this is what he wants from her. For her to plan. Because he doesnāt have time to. And because, just as she looks at him and sees someone she can trust with the fate of the world, he looks at her and sees someone he can trust with planning and logistics and getting the Aes Sedai to get themselves where he needs them. A kind of āthis is what Iām going to do, now do whatever it is you need to do because I donāt need to micromanage and I also donāt have time to, okay see you at Tarmon Gaiādonā.
āAnd so here we come to it,ā Rand said.
Yeah, he saw this coming.
āEgwene alāVere, Watcher of the Seals, Flame of Tar Valon, may I have your permission to withdraw?ā
He asked it so politely. She couldnāt tell if he was mocking her or not.
The thing is, I really donāt think he is. Itās like how earlier he said he didnāt want to come into her place of power and undermine her. Heās giving her, I think, an honest gesture with genuine respect. Because now, at peace with himself as he is, it costs him nothing to do so. She is not his enemy, and I do think his respect for her is honest, and I think he still cares about her as a friend, and what does he lose by giving her a small bow and her titles and the opportunity to grant him permission to leave?
And of course Egwene is conflicted, because on the one hand she canāt keep him here like Elaida tried to, but on the other handā¦
āI will not let you break the seals,ā she said. āThat is madness.ā
āThen meet me at the place known as the Field of Merrilor, just to the north. We will talk before I go to Shayol Ghul. For now, I do not want to defy you, Egwene. But I must go.ā
Ah. And so we have a battleground.
As for the rest⦠well. Itās not quite accord, but nor is it disaster. Itās not even quite a true impasse. Thereās tension now, sure, but itās a) not even in the same hemisphere as as bad as it would have been if Rand hadnāt had some alone time on a mountain to think, literally, about his life choices and b) not insurmountable.
And c) I still think thereās a very real chance this is all Rand actually needed or wanted out of this. Egwene now knows his plan and his timing and the battleground, and she can take care of the rest.
Itās almostāgaspāas if Rand alāThor, Dragon Reborn, has truly learned to delegate.
The chamber was still enough for Egwene to hear the faint breeze making the rose window groan it its lead.
The wind, for Rand, against the rose, for the Aes Sedai. (Also, listen, I have not forgotten that Eldrene was the Rose of the Sun).
āVery well,ā Egwene said. āBut this is not ended, Rand.ā
āThere are no endings, Egwene.ā
ITāS! ABOUT! THE NAMES!
They talk a big game about each otherās titles, and wonder if theyāre really the person they each once knew, but they both open and closes with nothing but each otherās names, and it means absolutely everything.
Also, thatās⦠really not a bad outcome. Honestly, this could have been so much worse. Anger? Try āokay um thatās unexpected and Iām still not sure youāre not insane butā¦sure. Okayā.
Which really is all you need, right? Itās agreement with a bit of hesitation, and at this stage in the game thatās a damn victory.
Again, I canāt help but contrast it with that absolute catastrophe at Falme, and compared to that? This is just friends sticking their tongues out at each other on the way out. Rand knows he can count on Egwene to be there, at least. Will she agree with him when she arrives? Who knows. But thatās a problem for another time. For now, he at least knows sheāll go, and thatās all he can ask. And he can leave the rest of the planning in her hands.
And she knows what heās planning, and knows he wants her as an ally, and can therefore make said plans.
I donāt think this is ended either, and Iām sure thereās plenty of potential conflict to come, but this was, all things considered, really kind of impressive in its lack of explosions.
(Also, āthere are no endingsā. Now whoās giving Aes Sedai answers, Rand? As well as probably spoilers for the last line of the series. Rude.)
Oh, interesting. So Randās taāveren hyperdrive powers pretty much literally froze all the other Aes Sedai in place. Because this needed to be a meeting between Rand and Egwene. Because of their roles, yes, but also because of that thread of connection they still share. And so it had to be the two of them, because that was the only chance of this working at all.
Egwene frowned. She hadnāt felt it that way. Perhaps because she thought of him as Rand.
I⦠yeah. Because thatās what he needed: to have this conversation with someone who could see him. Even then, it barely came out to something almost resembling accord. They needed that small weight on the scales, to have that chance. And so she was free, because it was the Dragon Reborn, and not Rand, who was holding the others silent, in a way.
Or at least thatās how Iām reading this because it plays into my entire thing for names and identity and perception, and the importance thereof.
āWe need to discuss his words. The Hall of the Tower will reconvene in one hourās time for discussion.ā
Which, really, is exactly what they need to be doing. Now they have the information, and they can figure out⦠a battle plan, I suppose. Okay. Weāre there now. We have a place and a time (this place, this day, which of course is followed by the lesser sadness, yes I remember sequences of chapter titles why are you looking at me like that) and the beginnings of a plan. Iām⦠itās been five years and Iām not entirely ready for this.
āAnd someone follow to make sure he really leaves.ā
Youāre just afraid heāll find some way to prank you on his way out, donāt lie.
āThen how? How do we stop him?ā
That, Silviana, is not the question you need to be asking. I mean, I get it. I really do. And Iām not sure how they could not think that, at least initially. But⦠the time for working against each otherās aims, when you are all on the same side, is over.
āWe need allies,ā Egwene said.
Which, again, I think is precisely the point. That is something it makes absolute sense for Rand to delegate to the Amyrlin Seat, who has the power and the standing to gather allies and play the games of politics, and bring her portion of the Forces of the Light to⦠the Field of Merrilor, I suppose.
She took a deep breath. āHe might be persuaded by people that he trusts.ā Or he might be forced to change his mind if confronted by a large enough group united to stop him.
Oh, Egwene, no. You canāt be another Latra Posae.
But perhaps it would be too easy for this to actually just be their only not-quite-conflict. I still think it was more a success than a failure, all told, and I stand by everything I said about the importance of their friendship in letting them see each other, but I think weāre looking at one final testing of that, before the end.
Next (ToM ch 4) Previous (ToM ch 2)
63 notes
Ā·
View notes
Video
youtube
Ah. What a game this has been so far.
Now I had a million thoughts I wanted to share as this played out, lord knows Iāll forget a good portion of them but thatās the nature of my own ineptitude- plenty of things Iāll remember MILES after this post or only if prompted in a specific way and thatās just how it is.
To start- this isnāt the end of DQ11 for the blog just yet. I usually donāt dive into post game unless it feels right or people ask and Iām convinced- and more or less both happened this time. It does feel right- I have definite goals I want to tackle before saying Iām happy with what I did here- and more than one person has mentioned that the post game is worth touching so Iāll be doing that.
Also, for those unfamiliar with my long winded utter mess of a finale post style I go for- this is a lot of rambling as I try my best to touch on my thoughts on the game overall because I like to share. Feel free to just pressĀ āJā on your keyboard and skip right passed this- I know **I** struggle to focus my eyes to read long winded posts so I wonāt blame you.
Also also, in order to try and spark some of those thoughts I had during this recording the first bit is gonna be me re-watching it as I wait on the video to finish processing and saying what comes up.
To start- really wish there was a save point there lol. I get that itās a painfully easy backtrack to the save point at the start of the castle- but still, I like convenience.
The Dark Lordās first form is a huge step up from his form before absorbing Yggdrasil and this first form fight was fun and had me itching to say some good things about it but honestly? I want to save praise for the fight that deserves it- phase 2.
PHASE TWO THOUGH!? GOD TIER RPG FIGHT.
Iāve seen better, sure, but come on, weāve ALL seen better at all times on all things especially considering preferences coming into it- this was a 10/10 boss fight, top to bottom.
Design? Beautiful. Even continued the DQ obsession with puns with his tail being Mordragon, that is so PERFECT soĀ āchef kissā flawless and itās just a name. I LOVE how he looks. I LOVE how he moves around the arena changing which head youāre facing.
I love how each had different strengths to contend with (which I abruptly fucked up, donāt call me out, Iāll prove I know what was going on right here and right now-). The dragon had strong melee and breath attacks while the dark lord himself had magic aplenty.
I even utilized swapping out for the first time ever not because I hadnāt seen the value beforehand (Iāve spoken on how interesting a strategic option it was seeing as every unit has unique moves to bring to the table and it costs nothing but ATB for that unit to do).
Now, I fucked that up, but I did it purely because this is the first fight up to this point that felt right to do so. Itās the first time the tactical value of switching out to buff defenses with Hendrik outvalued ignoring that option and maintaining my ATB on whomever I would switch out. THAT FELT SO GOOD! And then I let my braindead fingers buff defense on a magic phase and you see the point. It was brilliant but I was not!
I did end up ignoring the option after a few turns not because the value wasnāt there, but because he ALSO spams stat neutralizing moves which made me reconsider focusing so heavily on buffs and instead focusing on maintaining steady heals (mostly with Hustle dance).
This fight? Beautiful. I loved every second of it. I loved adjusting my playstyle on the fly, I loved finding my footing. I just loved it.
Beyond that- the ending. I got a chuckle out of how abrupt the credits come in. It seems to wind up for an end sequence only for Erik to sayĀ āWell, letās go homeā and it cuts to the credits- but THEN the credits ARE the end sequence so it wasnāt ACTUALLY as abrupt as it seemed, but it got a laugh out of me.
Now those credit scenes? Iām a sucker for games that make you fall in love with the characters and this was an ending catering to those characters. Not too much to say outside ofĀ āI was smiling the entire timeā which is true.
There were a couple moments in that sequence that I said aloudĀ āJUST HUG HIM YOU COWARDā to various characters, like Hero and Rab, or the two dorks (hero and Gemma), etc.
And they played on the mystique of the post gameās content well enough to pull people in Iād say- certainly more than what I recall DQ8 doing with the dragon trials.
I am probably wrong, but I recall the game drawing next to no attention to that post game content aside from a few moments in the game dragging you to the location only to not let you access it (hinting at more being there).
Anyway.
Honestly, after rambling about the video itself I feel a lot of what I wanted to say about DQ11 was said during the playthrough just fine. I rarely feel that way.
DQ11 was fun.
As a DQ fan, you can best believe I had fun.
As a stick in the mud who is disillusioned toward the game industry and doesnāt like a lot of the filth that accumulates within it- I obviously have a few negative thoughts on the game, but there really arenāt perfect games so much as perfect experiences based on how it affected you.
And Iāve voiced those annoyances plenty I think. For completion sake there are cut corners on animations that seem off when other places have a ton of attention to detail, thatās like bottom rungĀ āI donāt actually give a shitā stuff though.
The bigger problems were Sugiyama is a horrible piece of human garbage and the game is lesser because of his influence on it. There are plenty of reasons behind that both big and small. Big- it feels gross having a human shitsack touching this game after having been so vocal for years- there are replacements at the ready and we still have his LGBT hating, war crime denying fingers handling the music? Shameful.
Small (but man did it fucking suck) being that every five minutes I was annoyed at the music in this game. It sounds Bad. And I mean both orchestral and midi, itās not great compared to anything he made before for DQ, but the fact that itās midi in this is EAR BLISTERING.
Iām not one to listen close to most music while playing for whatever reason- and I admit that knowing whoās responsible is half of why my ears tuned it in instead of tuning it out, but man I couldnāt help it and it sucks.
The same 3 second ear rattling loops are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Grandiose moments are cut short by bland midi tunes. MAIN STORY MOMENTS ARE LACKING MUSIC ALTOGETHER FOR SOME REASON? When the hero gets the flute and plays it for the first time it just DIDNāT MAKE A NOISE? Subsequent uses of the flute made a noise, but not the main first cutscene?
Itās a whole thing.
And donāt make me get that dirty capitalist pain in my chest over the fact the S version was released 2 months after this and includes so much content that SCREAMSĀ āThis already existed and we diced and quartered it specifically to create the illusion ofĀ āvalueā for this releaseā. Disgusting, man. :/
Gameplay wise, the biggest complaint I have is so loaded and half hearted but I have to say it anyway.
DQ is good because itās simple.
DQ can also be a little lacking because itās simple.
This was the second most fun Iāve had playing a main series DQ game (DQIII just hits right), and it definitely has better gameplay (so my opinion is subjective) than the one I prefer to this. But it was also a bit too simple... But you canāt change that and be DQ, itās complicated.
To just say it- other than the final boss every encounter was a bit too easy. And I know I overlevel, I know thatās the point, I know thereās a hard mode modifier- I KNOW, but the final boss was REALLY GOOD AND still not too hard, so the fact that most every other encounter did the minimum or the minimum +1 is a little tiny (just a bit) disappointing because the gameplay could have been that much better.
But. That could just be my head spinning tales and being a biased asshole especially since Iām not offering any solution here and Iām admitting itās bothĀ ābetter than my favorite gameplay in the main seriesā andĀ āprobably canāt be made more involved without losing DQ simplicityā.
But Iād kill for some different or new systems on top of this- dual and triple techs from Chrono instead of RNG pep, bosses with more varied strategies instead ofĀ āstun 2-3 and do raid wide attackā.
A reason to care about elemental damage (both incoming and outgoing), plenty of little things that would just make the already solid as hell combat more interesting to participate in.
Story was honestly fantastic. I didnāt know how I was going to end that until I just let it come. It was. This is the best DQ story thus far, and not to limit it to that scope- this was a GOOD DAMNED STORY overall and Iāve played a fuckload of games with good stories.
Before this I was a sucker for the original trilogyās overarching story, which is unfair because thatās 3 games and thatās an old story and itās onlyĀ āgoodā because itās unprecedented. But this is just plain great.
It writes such beautiful characters- it tackles a variety of conflicts both big and small- you have Sylv and his dad, you have a possessed king declaring his daughter Jade dead and Jade knowingly betraying him without knowing heās possessed, you have Erik giving up on life and only putting himself so deeply into this adventure as a means of escape, you have Hendrikās loyalty being- I canāt pretend Hendrik fits in heās fucking stupid and needs to ask questions because loyalty for the sake of loyalty isnāt interesting at all lol.
You have Rab believing the world is doomed and doing all he can with Jade up until they find you are alive. You have the INCREDIBLE story of Veronica and Serena- you have all these intensely lovable and understandable characters (and Hendrik) and the story is so much more about them than just about the dark lord and the hero.
Itās so much more about each of their conflicts and growth because all of that is HOW the hero will defeat the dark lord.
Itās just so much more... investing than any of the stories Iāve had in DQ before and strong as hell amongst stories beyond just DQ.
I loved this. It was emotional at times, it was downright depressing at times which I wouldnāt expect DQ to successfully hit, it was downright rewarding getting to know these characters and I feel fantastic having beaten this.
This game is fucking good. I finally understand why some people have told me this is their favorite DQ now. It... yeah I think it might be mine too.
Iād be much more likely to revisit DQ3 than this because itās shorter and has a specific kind of RPG (class based with freely recruited partners instead of named party members) I find more fun to revisit, but yeah, I think I agree.
I think for main-series DQs this is it, this is my favorite. It has to be, right? Itās got so many INCREDIBLE story moments and itās pretty and it plays great- yeah. Hell, Sylvando as a character and Serena and Veronicaās arc BY THEMSELVES convince me of that.
Still got nothing on DWM and DWM 2 on the GBC, WOOOOT! Didnāt expect this post to divert from a serious closing thoughts (despite there being a few more posts to come) topic to posting this did you?


Behold the true faces of DQ perfection.
11 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
SnK 123 Thoughts
#spoilers
You know, I, for one, am not shocked. From an outside view, our options were Eren going through all this trouble to fix everything once and for all with a genius solution that only works with grand forbidden power--
--or Eren continuing to make everything worse.
His most enduring strategy has involved making everything worse.
Iām not mocking him. That honestly seems to be the point.
Whatās interesting is how unhappy he seems about all of this. Heās angry when his dad needs him to step in to wipe out the Reiss family. In the aftermath, heās despondent. He takes Arminās punches and insults Mikasa. He allies himself with Zeke but makes no effort to build their relationship. He goes out and cries over all the things heās about to do, but he still does them.
Thatās the part of all this that seems strange to me. Eren finally losing to the pressure of being Paradisā hope is a depressing storyline, but not that weird. Burning everything to the ground because thatās the only way he can see out anymore is something that I can see coming from an Eren whoās taken one too many hits. Sometimes something essential cracks. Sometimes people break, and when the storm that shatters them comes free, thereās nothing left to hold it back.
Only Erenās relentless adherence to his goal doesnāt seem to be something heās happy about. He doesnāt lose his stress lines the entire chapter, except when Mikasa brings him ice cream. I donāt think heās had a scene without them since the time skip.
He can see the future. He makes it to Marley, and all he can do is stare at all the people. Alive.
Eren knows what he is going to do. He goes out alone his last night with his friends and cries about it. There is no appearance of this being something that he wants. The only thing thatās seemed to resonate properly since he left everyone is Willyās declaration that they were born into this world.
He spends one last night with his friends, and leaves them forever.
This is not someone who is so far gone that this is it. This is what fixes everything. That might be where he gets the energy for all of it, but his last honest moment with anyone seems to be asking Mikasa why she cares about him.
Even by Erenās current standards, he does not look good when he asks.
"Why is it... that you care so much about me?ā
What value does Eren have as a person? Who is he? Who does the person who has been most obvious in her affection for him see?
Thatās how this chapter opens. With Mikasa asking herself that question.
āBut maybe thatās wrong. Eren hasnāt changed one bit from the start. If thatās who Eren truly was all along... what part of him... had I been seeing?ā
Eren is someone who can kill children. He can take advantage of his friendsā love and dedication and manipulate it so they have no choice but to cooperate. He can throw his entire countryās desperate hopes to find a new solution out by leaving the room without discussion.
Before that step, he stands by himself and cries. And asks someone who loves him why she even cares. What creates this bond that the future he sees has him destroy.
Over eighty chapters ago, someone else tries to ask someone they love this question. They also get the wrong answer back.
āI mean⦠I decided to join the Survey Corps on my own. But⦠you didnāt, right? Back then⦠you chose the Survey Corps⦠Because I...ā āBecause what?! Huh?! Are you saying I joined for your sake?!ā
āThen why are you here right now? If you donāt have a reason, then just start running...ā
āWhy⦠Why would you do that much for me? Does it have⦠something to do with my family?ā āYeah. It does.ā --37, Krista and Ymir
That saga has its own tragedy, and here we repeat the refrain that causes the most miscommunication; that simple inability to admit the vulnerability of caring for another person by choice and happenstance.
Eren asks why. He wants a direct answer. He frames it first by going through the excuses. He saved her. Theyāre family. Sheās said it often enough.
But is that it? Is that all that sums up her link to Eren? Is it just circumstance?
What is it that Mikasa values in him?
Mikasa canāt tell him the full truth. Itās too much for her to admit. So of course that, when the world is falling to pieces, is what lingers. That last moment of honesty she has with Eren, and she canāt make herself tell him any of the truths that maybe could have stopped this.
Thereās no logical reason to think it would have, but Mikasa wonders for, I think, the same reason Eren asks at all.
Is there something valuable enough in Eren that just being Eren is enough?
Can something that isnāt the big picture and humanity and everything--can he find stable ground in that?
The answer was probably always going to be no. Erenās been beyond friendship speeches for longer than I think any of his friends want to contemplate. But the picture Eren paints is someone who wants to be reminded of his humanity before he throws it away.
Mikasa, hearing that now, knows she couldnāt do that in that moment.
There is a very clear line following Eren through his decisions, but the logic of why heās picked them is still missing. If the thread of him simply wanting destruction is to be followed, you find his obvious unhappiness whenever heās confronted with what heās about to do. If he truly believes heās doing the right thing, why isnāt he sharing the strategy with Armin, or Hange, or Levi, or any of the people heās already waded through blood with?
What is so important about Eren doing this, and why is it so important that he does this alone?
The Zero Requiem strategy demands that Eren be the villain of this piece, and heās playing that part well, but thereās no stable end in this version. Heās simply antagonized both sides to the point of loud voices chanting for genocide.
Framing Paradis as the villain could arguably be the point, but Erenās firmest declaration about why heās doing all this is directed at other descendants of Ymir. The only ones who know heās willing to slaughter the world for Paradis are the people who are already dealing with everyone hating them because of this one damn island.
The state of the world is not such that you can have the good Eldians in one corner and the bad Eldians in another.
Focusing on the island has been the rule of the land for a while, and itās helped nothing. All Eren has done is bring yet another titan-led wave of destruction down on everyone, reminding them why the hatred started.
Really, the case that Erenās doing this for precisely the reasons he says he is is the one that makes the most sense, and so we come back to him having clear problems with his own idea.
Additionally, while there are going to be those Eldians who are psyched about everyone else being dead, there are probably going to be more who are traumatized and horrified, so at the end of all the stomping, youāre just going to wind up with different groups of people in wars.
This doesnāt solve anything.
Like Liberio, itās a bloodbath with the main accomplishment being that more people think Eren should be taken out.
Getting as many people to hate him as possible is the only consistent result of everything Eren has done.
Which is nice, since that suggests that maybe thereās some kind of logic buried under all of this.
Except the aim of making everything worse has only succeeded in making everything worse.
So. Like.
Everythingās worse.
Make everything worse.
Worser.
More worser.
The worstest.
Things are now worse.
Congratulations on a successful plan.
This is why Armin is usually stuck with this.
I canāt even be properly upset that Erenās setting loose the rumbling, because something is clearly still missing. Not to be a broken record, but weāve got unseen flashbacks with Historia and our little pickpocket, and Historiaās the only named character permitted to be featured listening to Eren without her face visible.
This after 108 made a big show of pointing out how strangely inconvenient the timing of the pregnancy was. Unless having Zeke alive mattered to someone.
As previously discussed, that adds to the worser pile, clearly making it relevant.
So yay, Eren has succeeded in setting himself up as The Worst.
Now we wait for why while an undetermined number of people are sacrificed to whatever unholy abomination of a strategy this qualifies as.
...Yeah, thatās all Iāve got.
Oh, wait.
This part was good.
This too.
Itās a curious chapter. Thereās so much light and joy in pieces, and everywhere we look we see reminders of why these are the people weāve rooted for. Levi wonāt let a pickpocket get lynched, even if it causes their cover issues. Mikasaās eyes sparkle at ice cream. Arminās excited to be out in the world.
They party with a group of people they donāt have a language in common with. Itās that easy.
All of that still exists, so what is it that makes this the logical next step?
Why introduce so many devastating cycles only to keep them going? Why would someone--several someones--actively opposed to perpetuating this kind of violence settle on a plan that loops a new one around?
The only answer I can come up with is that this isnāt the final word on whatās going on.
So, in keeping with the chart...
The worse continues.
To the secret better.
#Shingeki no Kyojin#SnK 123#Eren Yeager#shingeki no spoilers#SnK spoilers#spoilers#tl;dr#chapter post
190 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
OKAY wow it has beenĀ Ā Ā a g e sĀ Ā Ā since i was logged on to myĀ Ā Ā REAL LIFEĀ Ā Ā blog but hey ! !
it has been a whirlwind . i have been suffering from crippling depression and nonstop anxiety . lost numerous people that were close to me in my life .Ā
soĀ Ā Ā y e a hĀ Ā Ā life has been fun lately .
i also no longer do commissions for custom portraits anymore because i lost my wacom tablet ages ago and that computer went caput but hey , i am still here , it is my favorite time of the year , and i am going to do something that brings me happiness which is talk aboutĀ Ā Ā H O R R O RĀ Ā Ā M O V I E SĀ Ā Ā &Ā Ā Ā S H O W SĀ Ā Ā ! ! !Ā Ā Ā so here it goes ! ! !
Ā Ā Ā m yĀ Ā Ā a l lĀ Ā Ā t i m eĀ Ā Ā f a v o r i t eĀ Ā Ā h o r r o rĀ Ā Ā f l i c k sĀ Ā pt 1 / ? ? ?Ā
Ā Ā Ā (Ā Ā Ā in absolutely no sort of order ! ! !Ā Ā Ā )
THE LOST BOYS ( 1987 ) //Ā
it is a well known fact if you have written with me before that this is by far one of my favorite movies ever . i have adored the lost boys since i was a child and it honestly was one of the few things that stemmed my love of vampires !
f u nĀ Ā Ā f a c tĀ Ā Ā / /Ā Ā Ā i have a growing lost boys collection ! it includes almost every cast memberās autograph , posters , dvds , vhs , records , artwork , pins , movie memorabilia from the 80ā²s , and even a tattoo on my upper inner left arm that has vampire fangs surrounded by four bats that says BITE ME . the bats are named david , paul , marko , and dwayne ( of course ! ) .
CHILDāS PLAY SERIES ( 1980ā²S / 90ā²S / 00ā²S )
this movie has been a part of my entire life . it was probably the first ever horror movie i watched as a kid ( or caught a glimpse of ) on a tv back in the 90ā²s . itĀ Ā Ā t r a u m a t i z e dĀ Ā Ā me for the LONGEST time . i am talking up into my teenage years when i really started liking horror movies !!Ā Ā Ā why , you might ask ? ? ?Ā Ā Ā all i remember is hearing chuckyās laughter on the black and white tv we had back in the 90ā²s when my grandfather or dad was watching it in the kitchen / dining area .Ā Ā Ā i saw that damn doll and nearly pissed myself ! !Ā Ā Ā my father and grandfather made it their lifeās goal to TORMENT me with a chucky doll . every time we walked into our local mall there was a spencerās gift store . well , chucky was a HUGE thing there and they ALWAYS had dolls hanging from the ceiling . i would stand there dragging my feet CRYING as i tried to not go into the damn store but my dad wanted to tease me .Ā Ā boy that movieĀ Ā Ā SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME .Ā Ā Ā now in my older years i have fallen in love with those films . my absolute favorite is BRIDE OF CHUCKY . it could be because i love and adore jennifer tilly and her portrayal of TIFFANY or just the overall switch to a slightly more comedic horror act that i was not used to seeing . either way i love ALL of the chucky films now and am excited about the upcoming CHILDāS PLAY television series !!
DARKNESS FALLS ( 2003 )
an easily forgotten classic from when i was a teenager / kid .Ā Ā Ā this movie has an excellent jump scare tactic in it and i remmeber almost every scene from this almost cheesey movie from my childhood . it centers around a true story about this town and the townĀ ā tooth fairyĀ ā . never show this movie to your kids if you want them to believe in the tooth fairy because WOW it will ruin it haha ! but anyways on to a fun fact from my life again ! this movie is the ONE movie that to this day still scares me ! like , it scarred me so bad when i was a kid and made me think what the hell is lurking in the shadows and now even in adulthood i CANāT walk down the hall without the light being on . i have to have some sort of light on in my room . and the closet door and bedroom door can NEVER be open while i sleep .Ā i have a panic attack when i have to walk through the pitch blackness with no light because of this damn movie and that is how you know it is a good horror flick ! !Ā
#darkness falls#childs play#chucky#the lost boys#horror review#my favorite horror movies#pt 1#howbrewed
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Maria watches friday night lights (#20)
wow 4x09 was political AF, noting for future projects I have in the works ;)
letās do it, under the cut:
Damnnn theyāre showing Vince getting stuck with having to check a box on his application already??? āhave you been arrested?ā Per Michelle Alexander, the prison industrial complex creates a permanent underclass who can be legally discriminated against even after being released from jail š
Oh shit Beckyās pregnant?! Wait who did she have sex with? Do we know? Did she have sex with Luke??
Eric Taylor discovering the dangerous part of East Dillon so cluelessly in his full East Dillon High pullover and lil shorts ā Iām both dying at everyone trolling him and thinking about how itās insane to think this aspect of Dillon has been invisible to Eric across town for 3.5 seasons seemingly. Thatās some white ass privilege! (Also I hope Tinker is okay since Eric never actually finds him, the whole reason he was there?)
lol Julie and Tamiās bickering about who made the decision for her to sign up for habitat for humanity š
āItās a matter of resources.ā (That they donāt give to poor Black and Brown communities.) Eric Taylor Discovers Black Struggle!
Glen, youāre literally the worst. Why did you come over to Eric to tell him about this I canāt !!!! āI just got so excitable.ā GLEN ARE YOU AN ADULT HUMAN WHAAAAT Iām dead at this entire interaction, Ericās reactions are priceless too šš
lmao JD McCoy called his math teacher a bitch, whoās surprised not me
Ah, Katie McCoy finally left Joe?!

āWe have a little history, you know. Before she started playing for the other team...ā I hate you buddy thatās a gross thing to say about an out lesbian woman but why would I expect more from you
Is this the actor who played Peytonās stalker brother on one tree hill clearly being set up as Julieās habitat for humanity love interest? Iām sorry but I canāt unsee him being cheerleader kicked by Peyton and Brooke, he is giving the bad vibes. (I mean also heās in a position of relative authority over a teen girl flirting so YIKES.)
Damn prison industrial complex ā Vince already not being able to find a job as a teenager bc he has a record and begging his white coach to be a reference is why we say abolish the police by the way
Ahhhh okay Becky clearly DID sleep with Luke. āIām pregnant, itās yours, and I need an abortion. Itās like $300.ā Damn. Just more of why we need universal healthcare (and universal comprehensive sex education.)
āHe just wanted to tell me about a little experience he had at a karaoke party.ā LMAOOOOO
āYouāre getting kissed by so many people over at the school you canāt even remember to talk to me about it?ā I was fully laughing at this convo and how it was mostly Eric teasing. Thatās a good marriage.
āI think we need a date.ā āIāll go on a date with you.ā Awww seriously relationship goals
āYou an idiot, Buddy. You an idiot for thinking your Snow White ass could make a difference.ā L O L
Wowww Buddy did not just whitesplain organizing to jessās dad at the barbecue shop after someone he knows saw one (1) shooting in a neighborhood seemingly riddled with violence ā I canāt
creeped out by this dude Ryan from habitat for humanity ā clearly older than Julie and theyāre alone and heās asking her to go out for food? This is super predatory.
ew! does Ryan make it a habit of making out with high school students he supervises volunteering at habitat for humanity in the house theyāre building?! Gross
AHHHH omfg DāANGELO FROM THE WIRE IS THE EX GANG MEMBER HELPING THEM WITH CARROLL PARK?!?! Amazing! All The Wire cameos! (Jeff and I are on S4 now if anyoneās interested lol.)
āDo you really want to make a difference or are you just feeling sad bc you saw a boy get shot?ā Great fucking line, YES.
āThis is what we need: we need money, for programs. And not just this week when thereās a kid in the hospital.ā YES GO OFFFFF
Of course everyone can agree football is somehow the solution lmao oh Dillon
āIām so glad some smart person told you to do this.ā Tami is exactly what my mom was like growing up, I love it.
Ooooof Vince working for Jessās dad, the tension between them again in that one moment sheās fighting with him about the toilet is better than all her scenes with Landry sorry š¤·š»āāļø
This Tim and Becky back and forth with the kisses even tho theyāre clearly more compatible as friends is too much
Michael B. Jordanās looking at Landry like, how is this dude winning in this love triangle? And Iām like, yeah same bro.
Oooof I knew the ājust like my momā part was gonna come up. Poor Becky š„ŗ Aw Luke is SO sweet tho saying he hasnāt been sleeping bc heās worried about her.
Oh geez wait no...Lukeās starting to veer into anti choicer territory, haha donāt do that youāre so cute. āWill you just take me home?ā Yeah, go home Becky, Jesus.
I feel like Vince just made an enemy oh nooo š±
Tami and Buddy trying to politely greet every gang member walking into the park is killing me
āDo you have any knowledge of how we might get past the padlock on the switch box?ā LOL Im laughing at Eric jumping the fence too!
Sometimes I cringe when I see the assistant coaches wearing red ball caps out of habit and then I have the sinking realization this is Texas and half of them probably *would* be trump voters š¤¢
Yesss to Eric singling out this middle school kid whoās good and telling him to come play with him when he gets to East Dillon High! It doesnāt fix the problem but itās a start.
āYou know itās not lost on me that I owe you a date.ā Awww
āDamn I love you.ā āDamn I love you too babe.ā š crazy how Eric and Tami Taylor invented marriage
Glad Becky finally told Tim she was pregnant but I continue to ship them only platonically yeeesh
#maria watches friday night lights#mine#abolish the police#abolish prisons#leftist teen drama bookmark#friday night lights 4x09
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Positive

Iām gonna record some stuff for posterity, since Iāve been feeling kind of down and I want to focus on some things that have gone right lately.
First, I managed to win a Crazyhouse chess match against my hated rival, Lichess.org AI level 6.Ā I started trying to get serious about getting good at chess a few years ago, which eventually led me to lichess.org, which offers some variant games like Crazyhouse, where you can use captured pieces for your own.Ā Ā The AI has eight levels and I decided to just start at 1 and work my way up, but around... late 2018?Ā I got to level 6 and itās been kicking my ass ever since.Ā Ā Ā I think my record is like 5-3742.Ā Ā
Friday night, I actually won, which is a big deal in itself, but more astonishingly, I beat it in 17 moves.Ā Here they are below.
1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 { D02 Queen's Pawn Game: Zukertort Variation } Bf5 3. e4 dxe4 4. Ne5 Nd7 5. Bb5 c6 6. Bxc6 bxc6 7. P@b7 Rb8 8. Nxc6 P@f3 9. gxf3 B@g2 10. Rg1 exf3 11. Nxd8 P@e2 12. Qd2 g6 13. P@c7 Bg7 14. c8=Q Rxc8 15. bxc8=Q Ne5 16. Q@a4+ P@d7 17. Nc6# { White wins by checkmate. } 1-0
I tend to write off my wins as flukes--sooner or later the AI has to make a mistake--but usually Level 6 beats me in less than 20 moves.Ā Ā Ā It had gotten to the point where I was more worried about surviving to move 21 than even hoping to win.Ā Ā Ā Full disclosure: I use the takeback function to undo serious blunders, so itās not like I pulled this upset off in one go.Ā Ā Ā Still, I managed to put this together.Ā Ā
I think this is mainly because I started reading Chess for Dummies again and thereās a part where it says that you really shouldnāt start out by moving the same piece over and over.Ā Ā Ā Instead, you should more a different piece each turn.Ā Ā Ā That forces you to think a little harder about each turn, and you wonāt get stuck in a situation where you waste moves on retreats.Ā Ā Ā Iāve been making that mistake a lot lately, having like a knight or a queen running around the board, trying to avoid getting captured, and all that accomplishes is to let the AI develop their side of the board, until I run out of places to run.Ā Ā
So I took this advice to heart and it paid off in a big way.Ā Ā Iām sure it wonāt go quite as well next time, but Iām wondering if this one mistake was holding me back this whole time.Ā Ā Either way, Iām just pleased that I read something in a book and managed to apply it successfully to the thing I was trying to learn.Ā Ā I can see a light at the end of the AI Level 6 tunnel.
Second, I made my first omelet last night.Ā Ā Ā I bought eggs, and thought, you know what, letās try to make an omelet.Ā Ā Ā Itās not even that hard, itās just that I never got serious about it.Ā Ā Ā Every time I scramble eggs I think about how easy it would be to just... not scramble them and fold it over, but I never could figure out when to do that, and Iād just break down and scramble them, because I know how to do that.Ā Ā So last night I decided to look it up and make sure I knew what to do.Ā Ā Ā All I had to put in them was some Swiss cheese, but it turned out great.Ā Ā Ā Today I went to the store and got diced ham and chopped onions and shredded cheese, and I probably put too much in, but it was excellent.Ā Ā Ā
My eventual goal here is to get proficient enough to attempt the recipe printed in Way of the House Husband v.3, because it looks fancy but how hard could it be?Ā Ā

Looking at this page again, I guess what I really need to do is work on steps 1-3, which involve cooking the filling first.Ā Ā Ā Otherwise, Iām pretty close already.
Third, Dangerous Tekkers retained the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships yesterday. Ā Ā

Look at these distinguished gentlemen, and their beautiful IWGP championship belts.Ā Also, a bowl of Zima, because theyāre a sponsor. Ā Ā
I really thought they were in trouble, but they managed to steal a win, and thatās what matters.Ā Ā Big night for Suzuki-gun in general, but Iām most proud of Taichi and Zack Sabre Junior for extending their glorious reign.Ā Ā Ā Nothing but respect for my champions.Ā Go back to the end of the line, Golden Ace.Ā Ā Speaking of Golden Aces...
Fourth, Iāve updated my damn weinerfic yesterday.Ā Ā Ā Iāll crosspost to Tumblr eventually, but my goal was to get stuff on AO3 this month, and I figured crossposting would slow me down.Ā Ā Ā So if you read my fanfic and you made it this far down the list, Luffaās updated to Chapter 126.

Iāve talked about this before, but I got real bad about writing scenes without assembling them into discrete chapters, which has left me with a large backlog of material that I needed to edit and post before I could move on.Ā Ā Ā My goal for 2020 was to clear that backlog completely.Ā Ā Ā I thought the wind was at my back when I got Chapters 119-134 assembled, but editing and formatting has been a real slog this month.Ā Ā Ā Now that 126 is live, I think Iāve gotten through the worst of it, but weāll see.Ā Ā Ā
To be honest, this whole process hasnāt been that bad.Ā Ā Iām well on my way to the goal I set for the year.Ā Ā Ā It just seems to feel a lot tougher than it should.Ā Ā I had lofty dreams of tackling some other projects this year, but I just donāt have the motivation, and I need to put whatever I do have into this one thing.Ā
And thatās the reason I wanted to write this post.Ā Ā I feel like a jerk because things arenāt going as smoothly as I want them to, but the progress is still being made.Ā Ā I keep looking forward, and despairing at how much further I have to go, but I need to glance backward once in a while, and appreciate how night and straight my wake is.Ā Ā
I get frustrated a lot.Ā Ā Ā When I first started writing this thing, I was self-conscious about the early chapters because the real meat wouldnāt be until later, and I didnāt think the early stuff would impress anyone as standalone material. Ā Now I worry that itās too damn big, and people will be turned off by the sheer size, and never get far enough in to see what Iām doing in the late game.Ā Ā Ā Or they will read that far in, only to find that I jumped the shark at some point.Ā Ā Ā I gotta get out of that mindset.Ā Ā Ā Itās bullshit and I know itās bullshit, and I know that I know itās bullshit, but it still pops up in my head sometimes.Ā Ā Ā The goal is to get the entire story finished.Ā Ā Whether or not it gets popular is a sideshow.Ā Ā Ā I can promote the fic when I turn 50 and Iāve got nothing better to do.Ā This time is for writing and editing and publishing. Ā And right now, Iām getting it done. Ā Ā Thatās whatās important. Ā Ā
Also, making that gangster omelet.Ā Ā One step at a time.
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
10 Tips To Vastly Improve Your Public Speaking
As a coach of speaking and communication skills, I've learned that the same strategies apply to almost every situation where we're sharing our thoughts and ideas.
Graduation speeches, job interviews, eulogies, first dates, sales pitches, monologues and scenes for theater and film, wedding speeches, keynote speeches, and presentations at work are all made better by applying the following recommendations.
01 Breathing
It's the very first thing and the very last thing we do in this life. Improving the quality of your breathing on a daily basis can lead to better physical, mental and spiritual health. How you breathe in the ten minutes before you speak in front of a room full of people will make or break your presentation. Calming your breathing through exercises is something you can start to work on today, so that later when you are called upon to make an impromptu speech you'll be able to master your physiology.
Simply defined, breathing is the interchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the body. When we have too much carbon dioxide in the bloodstream, we begin to feel dizzy and experience shortness of breath. Chronic shallow breathing causes anxiety, high blood pressure, digestive problems, sleep disorders, and more. Re- learning to breathe more deeply is one of the most valuable skills to improve.
Unconscious thoughts can sometimes bring to the fore ideas one might easily dismiss as unrealistic.
02 Nix the Notes
If you're a hard worker and you want to get things exactly right, you are likely planning to work with notes during your presentation. You'll rehearse over and over with the goal of getting it exactly right - maybe even close to perfect. The problem with using notes is that it becomes too easy to start reading from them when we're nervous. This will result in a pretty flat presentation. If you memorize your speech word for word, you'll be stuck in your head - remembering. You might get every word right, but you won't be present with your audience because you'll be chained to the script. Structuring the framework of your speech in a way that you'll easily remember is a better approach.
Investigate how you structure your ideas. Get feedback about how you organize your thoughts. This will help you to become more comfortable when you have to speak on the fly without any prep (and bonus: you'll sound smarter). You should absolutely prepare your speech, but there is a point in the preparation where you must trust yourself and put down the index cards.
03 Stand And Deliver
What we do with our bodies tells a story. Crossing your arms looks closed off and defensive. Putting your hands behind you will cause people to distrust you. It's important to allow people to SEE you, which can feel incredibly awkward. You don't want to appear too stiff. You also don't want to seem too casual. The best thing you can do is to get balanced on your own two feet.
Stand with your feet a little more than hips-width distance apart. Roll a little forward onto your toes, and then rock back toward your heels. Then, side to side. Find where your body feels the most centered and balanced. Stack your bones. Your knees over your ankles. Hips over your knees. Shoulders over your hips. Balance the weight of your head over the structure of your bones. Then relax your arms by your side, palms facing slightly forward.
Do this often. In the grocery store. In the kitchen. When it becomes second nature you will start to feel confident in this sturdy and solid stance. This neutral, ready-for-anything posture is your home base.
Unconscious thoughts can sometimes bring to the fore ideas one might easily dismiss as unrealistic.
04 Remember Who Is Listening
The speech you're giving isn't for you. You've been selected to give it, and all eyes are on you, but you are meant to be talking TO other people. If you lose sight of that you will find yourself talking AT them. Youtube videos and Zoom presentations are rife with this talking AT business because we lose the sensory feedback of our audience and have only the tiny red or green dot of the camera to address. It's easy to disconnect from the listeners.
How can you connect with your listeners? With your voice? With your eyes? With your intentions? This is also related to allowing people to SEE you. Awareness is half the battle. A coach can help you activate your presentations.
Sometimes we forget to talk with all of the people in the room. At weddings, the Best Person or Person of Honor often forgets to address the family and friends of the new partner in their toast (I did this!). Executives speak at a company-wide meeting but are often just addressing upper management and not the entire supporting staff.
Work to be inclusive of every body in the room.
05 Watch Yourself
Record yourself as you practice a speech and then watch it a few times. Look for the good stuff. Repeat this. This isn't so you'll hate what you're doing and fix and fix and fix. This is so you'll get comfortable watching yourself.
The more you watch yourself, and accept yourself - your voice, your body, and your presence - the more you'll accept that others will appreciate what you have to offer.
Unconscious thoughts can sometimes bring to the fore ideas one might easily dismiss as unrealistic.
06 Be Truly You
I receive a good many queries about Accent Reduction training and cultivating Executive Presence. I urge you to be thoughtful about these pursuits.
If you're speaking English as a second language, you are a rock star because English is a tough language to learn. In terms of accent reduction, how much is sufficient to reduce? What does it really mean to sound more "American" or "British"? Is it to sound more "white"? Why should you sound more "white"? If you are pronouncing a great many English words incorrectly, you will need to buckle down in your ESL work. But your accent is a part of YOU.
If anyone asks you to develop Executive Presence, press them for a very specific actionable definition. Are there specific skills you need to develop?
An Executive is someone who can be trusted to lead in the good times and the lean times. Executive Presence = Confident Leadership. There are many kinds of leaders out there. What kind of leader are you? Cultivate this.
You are enough. You are delightful. You are better off being you than trying to pretend you're somebody else. Humility and authenticity are more highly-valued than a suit jacket you can barely afford.
07 Bring In The Funny
It feels risky to reveal our sense of humor. Humor shows people who we really are and how we see the world. There are more appropriate times for humor than others, but sometimes nudging the boundaries a little is good for letting down our collective shoulders.
When our audience is distracted they are many separate people. When they are tuned in to a speaker they become a collective and present entity. Laughter connects us.
As a speaker, you control the energy in the room. It's important to read the room. Who are these people? Why did they come here? Are they hot? Are they hungry? Anyone in the theater or comedy biz will tell you that every audience is different. If a joke flops they will still connect with you more for trying. A planned recovery line ("Tough crowd, tough crowd...") can win them over.
Humor in a speech will humanize you. It's worth the risk and if you bring down the house you have everything to gain.
Unconscious thoughts can sometimes bring to the fore ideas one might easily dismiss as unrealistic.
08 Say Nice Things
If you beat up on yourself all the time with harsh thinking, you are going to be hard-pressed to believe yourself when you're mustering up the confidence to give a speech or to walk in proudly for the job interview.
If the messages you are always receiving inside yer noggin' are critical and damning, it's time to switch things up. We wouldn't talk to a child in the same way that we often talk to ourselves. It's incredibly important to change your self-talk immediately.
Start by writing a mini-speech called "My Favorite Things About Me". Give this short speech to yourself often. Recite it out loud. Recite it silently. Say good things about yourself when you're talking to other people. Say good things in your mind while you are brushing your teeth. Say good things a lot so you'll always know that you have YOU in your corner.
09 Skip the Sweet, the Sour, the Salty, the Spicy,Ā the Sloppy, and the Stimulating
Sugar, chocolate, onions, garlic, dairy, pepper, chips, french fries, citrus, booze, and caffeine are ...amazing. They are also terrible dietary choices for presentation days.
Sugar, dairy, spice, and salt can create a bad scene in your gut and when that comes back into your throat at some point (sometimes you aren't even aware of it returning - it can be subtle), you'll find your voice sounds weaker, and will even begin to crack more. Citrus or dairy will put you into an alternating cycle of a dry throat and excess phlegm production. Booze is a bad idea for a number of reasons. Caffeine and nerves are a sweaty combination.
Eat some simple protein. Some rice. A few cooked veggies. Stop eating a couple of hours before you speak. Drink a whole lot of water up to an hour before your presentation. After that, just small sips.
Unconscious thoughts can sometimes bring to the fore ideas one might easily dismiss as unrealistic.
10 Feel The Feelings
You're nervous. You just are. Folks reach out to me to figure out if there's a way to stop feeling nervous. There really isn't. The reason why you're feeling this way is that there are so many unknowns. Public speaking is truly heightened uncertainty! The fear of public speaking has a name: Glossophobia.
It's like a roller coaster. You wait in line and start to psyche yourself out. You feel like you want to change your mind and RUN. Then there's a point of no return - you move forward - you're gonna DO this! And then you're a couple of minutes away from speaking and things get realllly uncertain.
Feeling fear can be a really fantastic way to get to know yourself. Feel it in your body. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Breathe your calming breaths. See yourself in this moment. Tell yourself you're into it and that you'll enjoy the ride. You're gonna DO this thing - this crazy thing! You might even find yourself smiling about being in this crazy situation. That's exactly when you know you're ready.
Speaking and communicating well will benefit you in all areas of your life.
You can make great progress and get to a place where you aren't dreading presentations, meetings, or speeches. Communication skills are just that: skills to learn and practice. It might even become fun. It might even become something you love doing.
Reach out to me with questions. It would be a treat to hear from you.
Good luck to you!
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
podcast notes week 1
Here are the notes I had going into the podcast recording for week 1.Ā
There are some spoilers in here & all of the doodle/synopsis posts have not yet dropped but the episode is recorded & here we gooooo...
Train to Busan
Starting out strong with a zombley deert (to speak in cursedĀ rickyisms).
Giving his kid some yuppie bullshit talk & almost gets them clobbered in traffic, great dad.
Damn that escalated quickly. Why did it take so long for the first lady to turn but the others are like instantaneous?
The shots, effects, & choreography in this movie are crazy!
The grandma has lucid moments before changing which seems more than what the passengers got. & she used them to break hearts.
Ohhh he's a āfund manager,ā ofc he's a dick.
Watching a zombie movie during a pandemic hits different.
I like that the bad ass in this movie is a soon to be dad with a dad bod & he's also a boomer who doesn't know how to change his ringtone.
Okay, theyāre officially fit daddy & dad bod.
Okay legit tears at dad bod sacrificing himself even though I knew it was coming.
LOL young capitalist bastard fighting old capitalist bastard
This is capitalism & I hate it. OFC the motherfucker willing to screw over everyone else even if he doesn't need to prevails nearly to the end.
We need a zombie killing axe... Oh wait, nevermind, a shoe is good too.
Oh wow, that shit is poignant. The most ruthless capitalist of the group having a mama moment before he changes.
I'm sitting here yelling, get his nards, fit daddy! Do the nuts still have any effect?
Oh shit, fit daddy is infected. Human bites are gross.
This sucks, I hate it. :(
OH FUCK WHY DO THEY MAKE IT WORSE OMG!
& worse.
I didn't want to cry this much, not fair.
Re-Animator
Ooh, my German 101 skills are tingling.
Chaos nerd is everything in this scene. You wondrous ball of absolute cheese.
The security guard saying "Nobody wants in & ain't nobody getting out" is the Chekov's gun of this movie.
Fuckinā nerd talk. Do either of you even lift? Why don't you duke this out in a tables, ladders, & chairs match?
I don't feel great about that transition between her playfully saying "no" & them full plowing. Greeeeeassy.
I'm with the cat on this one ā scratch him!
"The world's last living puritan." LOL, come to eastern Washington tho.
How in the world is this lady's creep radar going off w nerdboy but not with the creepy old man trying to bang her?
They did a few things really well with this cat thing. Because usually I could not DEAL with violence against a pet. First the dead cat doesn't look anywhere near realistic, nonetheless once it's reanimated. Also, there's no like huge emotional connection between the character & the cat because the only experience the viewer has with it prior to it dying is it scratching his back after he's done banging, which I mean, solid choice there kitty.
"Because it's maaaad?" Best line in this mf movie.
I like how quick Halsey turns on nerdboy who he was stoked on like two days later. All because he insulted the creepy old man?
"Here's your meatball!" Writers were A+ obv.
"I know you're all by yourself now." Ew no. Again, she reacts to something other than the creepy old guy trying to bang her. PLEASE REACT, maybe punch him in the face or move to a different state without notifying anyone.
Iām dying, it looks like he's dribbling cherry applesauce out of his mouth.
This is the corniest, dumbest break up scene I've ever watched.
So once they're lobotomized they have like a mind link with the old guy head? Alright...?
Okay so we've arrive. This scene is fucking pure unadulterated cringe & makes me feel like I need to take several showers & drink bleach.
"Get a job & a sideshow." This entire movie is this nerd & that's what I'm here for.
How is there this seemingly endless supply of this green ooze? Also this reminds me of TMNT.
LOL the murderous colon strikes.
I'm very confused on the rules of what stays alive & how. Like the hand is still twitching but the guy in the hallway is dead?
Nothing gore-wise has bothered me so far but the chest compression sound is gross.
This guy is the worst. If he loved her he'd let her die.
Plan 9 From Outer Space
"Future events such as these will affect you in the future." You donāt say, friend.
Hillabilly gravediggers saying "sorta spooky like" is the mood here.
The scream is so good.Ā
A conspiracy theorist manifesto delivered on a suburban patio made entirely out of wicker.
The walking dead in this movie are so much more chill than the last two, just saying. Like if you're going to kill me, fine, but be chill about it.
"The earth people who can think are so frightened by those who cannot ā the dead." Truuuuuuu. Thinking sucks, bro.
The pillow talk is all kinds of weird.
Hey, I know you're worried too, but because you're a child that can't care for herself, make sure you lock the doors because that's something a feeble woman wouldn't remember to do.
"You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe." Ooof this hits different now.
Yeah, it's old timey & corny but there are some seriously artsy scenes in this. I love the glowing trees.
Vampira is aesthetic goals if: I was more feminine, if I gave a fuck, if anyone ever looked at me, lol.
If some big dead dude was coming for you why in the hell would you just stand there or sit there & scream? Like these are the easiest monsters to escape from, you all are so gd slow.
That's it, I'm dressing up as one of these aliens for Halloween. All I need is some black pants, a belt, & a shiny purple shirt.
LOL little green men. Shoot first, ask questions later. Get all the tropes in there buck-o.
I just realized the dude alien is called Eros & I'm laughing. Total heartthrob. "You're always right, Eros." Fucking yuuuck. Miss me with all of this.
Holy trigger happy.
Explode the actual particles of sunlight. LOL, OMG "STRONGER NATION THAN NOW." These fucking nationalist trashbags.
Yes, of course aliens are religious too. & the're sexists. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO THROW THE MONITOR OUT THE WINDOW STAHP!
This was so much. I mean it's the old humans are dumb, violent animals & need to be gently led or annihilated. Okay, that can be true. But the aliens here needed to FOAD too.
Dead Birds
Is Mark Boone Jr in everything & will he die early? (yes)
Very aesthetic theme
Bank manager's whiskers are on point.Ā
The fuck? Oooh racist, niiiiice. I hate everyone all the time.
Yup this is how bank robbers would behave, wanting to kill of members of the gang to get a bigger share.
Gross, just listening into their friends banging, being creepy.
Is it turning into a bear? (Ohhh, the footprints)
Okay one of these dudes actually has something like a conscience, good to know, still hate him.
54 minutes in & I'm getting real bored.
Good jump scare w the little girl.
Okay the lady in the barn was too much for me. Gore was too much.
"There are worse things than dying" Best line.
Okay first I was like "that's not vomit, it's too white" & then I realized she'd been in bed with her dude earlier & yelled "ew, is she puking cum?" at my computer because that's where my dumpster fire of a brain goes.
Poor horses :(
He just disappeared? TF?
Nah, Iām not feeling this.
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Unorganised thoughts on Silver Snow:
When I finished Golden Deer, I said that it had felt like a more traditional Fire Emblem story than Blue Lions. Silver Snow is that but even more so (though GD is still the most trad-FE cast, IMO)
Having already played those two routes, it felt very much like a whirlwind tour of them both, plus another battle thrown in at the end - a battle that probably should have been harder, but I (completely accidentally) built the bulkiest Byleth imaginable, especially resistance wise, plus high magic - and so, by pairing high defensive stats with Nosferatu, I tanked every attack that came my wayĀ
Gaming, for me, is just doing whatever the hell I feel like, stumbling into good results, and then pretending that I did it on purpose
I spent the whole battle with the Dragon Tales theme song stuck in my head. Kind of killed the mood
I really enjoyed that after wrapping up both the Edelgard and TWSITD plots, they basically Persona 4 you by trying to convince you that the whole gameās done now and all thatās left is to chat with everyone - though unlike in P4, thereās very obviously something left to do because they give you a whole month of prep time, rather than just one day
I felt the same way about this on Golden Deer - none of the characters are appropriately shocked by Rheaās highlyĀ questionable actionsĀ
Also - she says sheās going to explain the whole truth! And she doesnāt! Only the Byleth creation stuff! The other revelations from Golden Deer are missing! Rhea! Why! Are! You! Like! This!
This is actually a problem I have with this game as a whole - they want to keep certain lore and secrets exclusive to certain routes, but it results in every story feeling in some way incomplete. Like, Fates gets a lot of crap, but at least you did get a full story from your half (third? never played Revelation) a game for the price of a whole one. Blue Lions gets the worst of it, I thinkĀ
Plus, when you know some of said secrets, it makes characters who refuse to share them in other routes seem weirdly (and sometimes, contrivedly) cagey about things they really do not need to be cagey about. See: Claude refusing to tell Dimitri and Byleth in Azure Moon that he wants to End Racism, and instead vagueing aboutĀ āachieving his dreamā. This is not Edelgard wanting to conquer Fodlan and dismantle the entire social structure, Claude, your ideals really are not so controversial that you need to be this coy. Dimitri and I are cool, we getchaĀ
My one sentence review of the whole game is basically: Great characters, great world building, great gameplay - but really, really frustrating plot structure
Iām also really upset that Seteth does not have a dragon form
Speaking of Seteth, I married him this time around. I mostly decided to do it for laughs, but while Byleth/Dedue is still my number one Byleth pairing, I came to really, genuinely like them together. Seteth is one of my favs, now more than ever
It helps that romancing Seteth feels a lot less... creepy than romancing most of the students. I like Linhardt, but romancing him felt very weird to me because I couldnāt get over Byleth having first known him as a 16 year old under their care. Dedue, for the record, doesnāt elicit this responseĀ because he doesnāt really feel as much like a student to me? Role-wise he feels a lot closer to the knights, and itās just that he's been enrolled as a student for convenienceāsĀ sake, which makes him and Byleth feel more equal than they do with most of the other kids. Helps that heās also on the older end
Anyway, Seteth and Byleth would be the nerdiest couple ever, is the impression I got from their ending. The confession scene made me laugh in howĀ āoh weāve got a lot of work to do - btw wanna get married? - sweet, now letās get back to workā it was. Mark Whitten is a gem
Itās also the the first time I felt like the game was actually shipping me with a main lord (Seteth taking that role in the absence of the box lords on this route). Havenāt done Crimson Flower yet, so no opinion on the Edelgard/Byleth relationship yet, but regarding Claude and Dimitri my (pretty damn controversial, possibly a bad idea to put out there) opinions on them with Byleth are that
Claude and Byleth are platonic bros, regardless of Bylethās gender. I just donāt get any feeling of romance from their relationship at all, and so pairing them off feels weird (to me, personally - I donāt hateĀ the ship or anything, though)
Meanwhile Dimitri 100% had a crush on his teacher at school, but after more than five years of enduring trauma after trauma, and then half a year of beginning to heal (whilst fighting a war culminating in the execution of his step-sister), Dimitri is nowhere near ready for a romantic relationship. And when he is, I wouldnāt want him with any of the main cast, Dimitri x Village Girl OTP. I guess if it has to be anyone, Iād be okay with Mercedes, maybe Marianne - hell, maybe even Claude - but really, I just want him to get a fresh start. I think thatās the healthiest option for him, in the end
I do think itās a pairing that could work in an AU where Dimitri doesnāt have any of the experiences he has in canon, thoughĀ
And again, this is just my personal reading
Iāll also admit that I may be influenced by the fact that his two most popular pairings are with Byleth and Dedue, who I greatly prefer with each other. Mostly because I love Dedue with all my soul and his ending with Byleth is by far his happiest, in my eyes at least. Itās the only one where he puts some distance between himself and Dimitri and evens out the power balance in their relationship, which makes me happy because oh boy, the Dimitri/Dedue relationship is super interesting and compelling, but also (again, by my reading) all kinds of unhealthy as itās presented for most of the game - power balance issues like I say, the fact that they tend to indulge, even encourage, each otherās worst instincts and behaviours, mutual guilt complexes - like I say, itās fascinating, but damn screwed up. IMO, theyāre one of the best examples Iāve seen of how unhealthy relationships arenāt always the result of one bad person, and how two good people can end up being very bad for each other
Though it is, again, a pairing I can see working (and actually being incredibly cute) in an AU where theyāve lived less horrible lives
And itās not like I donāt want them to beĀ friends, I just want them to also develop healthier boundaries and equal levels of respect
oh my god none of this has anything to do with silver snow what am I doing
But hey, speaking of Dimitri - I flip flopped on whether I thought his death was handled better or worse here than Golden Deer. It was given, I felt, more appropriate gravitas, but again suffered fromĀ āDimitriās dead! No, Dimitriās alive! Oh wait, now heās dead againā in like, three successive scenes. And then you see his... ghost? I guess?
Dimitri really seems to get the short end of the stick on routes outside his own. Claudeās non-Deer roles were, in both cases Iāve played, much stronger and more fitting, and Edelgard is Edelgard
Maybe heāll be good in Crimson Flower. Please. I miss Dimitri mattering. Heās probably my favourite of the three
Thereās a point - obviously I donāt fully know Edelgard yet, but from what I got from the White Clouds section, above anything else she strikes me as an incredibly realistic depiction of a slightly edgy, extremely idealistic, but also highly naive and short-sighted teenager
Her whole goal, it seems, is meritocracy. She hates the crest system and the nobility, and she wants to create a system of equal opportunity. I can get behind that, but I really hope sheās prepared to accept the fact that true equal opportunity is basically impossible without recreating The Giver,Ā as inequality is always more complex than one single factor being to blame for everything. Has Edelgard considered other limitations that make true meritocracy difficult to achieve? Has she been working on, say, a comprehensive benefits system? Or is she more of a libertarian type, and so primarily all about negative freedom and removing direct oppression? I hope Crimson Flower goes into detail on this, Iād be genuinely interested to know
I also find it interesting that she gets very angry about the fact that people hurt her and her family as a means to their own ends, so she decides that her own ends are to eliminate the system that lead to that happening - and she doesnāt care who she has to hurt in the process
This isnāt a CinemaSins *ding* plot hole observation, I genuinely think itās interesting, and not actually that unrealistic
I also suppose her goal is no less naive than End All Racism By Being Nice To People, but Claude isnāt killing and persecuting people in attempt to achieve that, so it invites less scrutiny
I do wonder if I would have felt more strongly positively about her if sheād been my first playthrough. I do believe sheās a person that sincerely means well, and sheās certainly sympathetic, but - hmm. Iāll make my mind up when I finish CF
Anyway, paired endings. A few that I got include Raphael and Bernadetta (by far my favourite Bernie ending so far, seriously, whatĀ is that Caspar ending), Shamir and Leonie, which was cute and goofy (as Leonieās endings tend to be, I notice, I do like that girl), Felix and Dorothea (not my favourite for either, but cute), Sylvain and Mercedes (the same but even cuter), Cyril and Petra (which felt wrong, partly because I love Cysithea a hell of a lot, and also because despite knowing thereās only about a year between them, Petra looks so much older pre-time skip), Ferdie and Marianne (super wholesome and sweet), and Linhardt and Caspar (my boyyyyssss that I refuse to ever separate again)
Not sure what Iām going to aim for on CF aside from keeping those boys together and also Ferdie/Hubert, as Iāve Heard Things
Flayn and Manuela have an A support so I figured they had a paired ending and it turns out they do not, which means Manuela was alone forever and Flayn ran away because apparently she hated having Byleth for a step mother I guess, rude
My Byleth (Myleth?) was prepared to be the best step mother in the history of the world, so offended
I realisedĀ āJavelins of Lightā is one of my absolute favourite tracks in the whole game. Mostly because it sounds like something out of Danganronpa, which made me nostalgic
I also likeĀ āGuardian of Starlightā for somehow managing to sound like a Danganronpa/PMD: Explorers crossover track
I love how out of nowhere the Immaculate One fight is. It really does just feel like they needed something to distinguish the route from Verdant Wind outside of Claude not being around, so they just had a map that was less cool in every way except for the dragon
Is there an explanation for why Nemesis doesnāt show up on this route?
Also - I didnāt mention this in Golden Deer thoughts but I also found that final battle way, way easier than it was probably meant to be because Iād made everyone into a flier and so the floor damage hazard was meaningless
Which I totally did on purpose and not so I could make a stupid joke post about my all-wyvern teamĀ
Anyway, in conclusion, Silver Snow was a good route, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would (Iād kind of thought it was just going to be GD without Claude, which isnāt... totally wrong, but itās got some other stuff going on too), I liked Seteth getting to have a bigger role, I thought it had the best final boss (if not the best final boss map), and I liked that I got some more Dragon Lore (never a bad thing)
please donāt yell at me for my controversial shipping opinionsĀ
#fire emblem#fe3h#silver snow#silver snow spoilers#golden deer spoilers#verdant wind spoilers#blue lions spoilers#azure moon spoilers#long post
12 notes
Ā·
View notes