#i made a lot more gifs than graphics last year it seems (and experimented more with that)

[cherienymphe]

Fright Night (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, blood, stepcest, age gap, vampire!Bucky

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ ​​​​​​​​|  ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics​​

summary: Something isn’t right about your mother’s new husband.

~

His smile was too perfect.

That was your first thought when you met your mother’s new husband. Not his almost too blue eyes nor the fact that your mother didn’t even tell you she’d gotten married while you were off at your last year of college…but his too perfect smile. It didn’t even register to you that he was younger than her even if only by some years.

No…it was his smile that you couldn’t stop staring at.

Or more specifically…his teeth,

They were too perfect.

She was all smiles and excitement as she welcomed you in, introducing you to James, or Bucky as he preferred. He stood at her side with a welcoming expression, those too blue eyes almost seeming to stare right through you as you stepped inside. As you stood there, staring at what felt like two strangers, you finally understood the meaning of an out of body experience.

“How did you two even meet?” you finally wondered, voice small.

You didn’t miss the way your mother hesitated, seemingly unable to remember, and you had just frowned when her new husband answered for her.

“On that cruise, remember?” he’d said, leaning in to wrap an arm around her waist.

As strange as it sounded, you didn’t like him being so close to her. Something about him was off, and you shuffled your feet, telling yourself to let it go. Sure, your mother fell in love as often as often as the sun rose and set, but she fell out of love just as easy. She deserved a long-lasting relationship, and despite how sudden it all was, you hoped that maybe this one would be it.

“Cruise? What cruise?” you had questioned, head tilted.

“The one I went on just after you left,” she’d said, waving you off with a chuckle like you were so silly for forgetting.

She had never told you.

She seemed as into her new man as much as she often was in the beginning, so you took that as a sign to make yourself scarce. Bucky’s gaze was pulled from her when you picked up your suitcase, and you didn’t miss her slight pout as he pulled away.

“Let me help you carry that upstairs,” he’d offered.

“It’s fine. I got it.”

You hadn’t meant to sound quite so harsh, but you literally didn’t know the man. That was reason enough to not want him in your room, but to be truthful…you didn’t think you liked him either. You could feel the weight of his gaze on your back as you made your way upstairs, your mother’s voice fading to the background.

When you shut your door, you had leaned against it with a deep breath. It hadn’t fully hit you just how strange this all was just yet. Not then at least, and not even when you seemed to be moving on autopilot as you unpacked. You could hear your mother’s giggles from downstairs, Bucky’s deep baritone accompanying her voice as he said something that made her laugh again.

It had only hit when you were submerged in the bath that night. The long drive from down south had been tiring, and your whole body ached from sitting in one position for hours. You stared at the wall before you with a frown, thinking that your mother was wrong.

She had never told you about some cruise, had never even mentioned it in passing. Not only that, but she was always the first to call you up and tell you about whatever new guy was in her life. In a lot of ways, your mother was like your sister, so the fact that you didn’t find out about Bucky not only until after they were married, but when you walked through the door was…odd.

She seemed in love with him enough, giggling like a schoolgirl and hanging onto his every word. It would be cute if you didn’t find the whole situation unnerving. He seemed nice enough with her, and they definitely interacted like a couple who’d known each other for years instead of less than one, but none of this changed the facts.

There was a stranger living in your house.

You had locked your door that night with a small sigh, feeling so uncomfortable in what should be your safe place. Your mother had made it that way, and you didn’t want to blame her, but all of this was so unlike her, and while you were sure all of the true crime content was just getting to your head, you couldn’t ignore the sick feeling in your gut.

That night was the first night you’d ever had trouble sleeping in your childhood home.

“There she is!” your mother was at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee. “I told James that you always sleep in so late when you get back from school.”

You hadn’t even noticed him at the table, grimacing a bit at his presence. The kitchen smelled like food, and your stomach growled on it’s own. As if he’d heard it, Bucky looked up, but you were already looking away.

“James cooked breakfast for us,” she continued. “It’s probably been so long since you’ve had a decent meal.”

Your appetite was lost at the sound of her words, and you shook your head, ignoring the feel of his eyes on you.

“Not that hungry,” you heard yourself mumbling, and you glanced over at the sound of rustling paper.

The dark-haired man was folding the newspaper, lowering it and setting it down to look at you properly. His blue eyes glinted in a way that you just didn’t like, pink lips pulled into what was supposed to be a friendly smile, you were sure. The dark shirt he wore contrasted heavily against his fair skin, and you couldn’t stop your frown at the sight.

“You should eat something. There’s no telling how many nutrients you’ve missed this past year, and…I can’t have my best girls not at their best health.”

He didn’t take his eyes away from you as he said this, perfect teeth on display as his grin widened. Your mother thought that was the funniest thing apparently, and you struggled to keep from rolling your eyes at the sound of her giggle. You threw him a forced smile.

“Maybe later…”

You didn’t stick around to continue the conversation.

As you got dressed, you told yourself that he just needed getting used to. This was all weird and sudden for you, so of course, you wouldn’t take to him right away. That made sense, that was understandable. Sure, to your mother he was a wonderful man, wonderful enough to marry even, but to you he was a complete stranger taking up residence in your house.

You just needed time.

This made sense.

You told yourself that even a month later when you still wouldn’t eat whatever he cooked, and you still wouldn’t engage him in conversation. You were sure that she noticed if her questioning gazes and confused smiles were anything to go by, but she never said anything.

Bucky, on the other hand carried on as if he didn’t notice a thing. He still tried to pull you into conversation and smiled at you and cooked and asked a million questions about school and your life. He was just a normal stepfather trying to get to know his new daughter. You knew this, but that didn’t mean you had to like it. You kept telling yourself that it was still all just so new.

“You don’t like him.”

Your mouth dropped at Wanda’s words, fingers tightening on your phone at her accusation. You huffed, tempted to argue when you really thought about it. It was understandable to be bothered by the whole thing, but you honestly hadn’t even given him a chance, and the more you thought about it, the more you realized that you didn’t want to.

“I don’t,” you slowly admitted, blinking in realization.

“What? Is he mean to her? To you?”

“No, no…he’s… Perfect,” you spat, sitting up. “He’s too perfect, actually.”

Despite the fact that you’d mumbled that, Wanda heard it loud and clear. You heard her heave a sigh, and you could almost imagine the way her red hair would bounce as she shook her head.

“So, that’s it,” she chuckled. “How many relationships has your mom been in? A lot, right?”

You started to nod before realizing that she couldn’t see you before answering.

“Right, and all of them ended in disaster. It’s finally her time, and with her history, it just seems too good to be true to you, but it’s not,” she slowly told you. “He’s good for her, and this is a good thing.”

You mulled over her words, leaning next to your window. Your mother was pulling in, and you watched her with a slight frown. Wanda was right. This was the best relationship that your mother had ever had, and as her daughter, you should’ve been happy for her. So…why weren’t you?

“Is he cute, at least?”

You rolled your eyes at Wanda’s question.

“He’s…attractive, sure, in a…creepy and unsettling kind of way. He’s almost too attractive, like he’s not real.”

“Go, mom,” she absentmindedly murmured.

“I have to get over this, right? She’s never married any of the others, and he’s literally my new…dad,” you scoffed. “He cooks us breakfast and asks all about my day and school and it’s weird.”

“Just give it some more time,” she suggested. “Yeah, it is a little weird, so you can’t expect to get over it after what? A month?”

You reluctantly accepted the truth in this, telling yourself that you’d grow to like him. You had to because you didn’t have any other choice. When you hung up, you stared at your phone for what felt like a long time, as if expecting it to give you all the answers.

When you glanced up, you froze.

Bucky was just outside of your door, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest. His dark hair curled beneath his ears, a stray piece brushing the side of his face. There was a calm smile on his face, eyes betraying nothing as he gazed at you. You didn’t know how long he’d been standing there, but your voice had been low. Not only that, but you’d closed your door so…

You suddenly frowned.

“I’m sorry if I scared you. Your door was open,” he said with a shrug before straightening himself.

No…it wasn’t.

In fact, you’d been sure that you locked it.

“Your mother’s cooking tonight, and I know she’d love it if you joined us for dinner.”

You looked away, fighting back a grimace. You had skipped out on just about every meal with them since you came back, preferring to eat in your room. You knew that it hurt your mother’s feelings, and you swallowed down a sigh. You heard Bucky let out one of his own, and you looked at him just as he took a step into your room.

“I know that this is daunting for you,” he slowly said. “It takes some getting used to, and… I begged her to say something to you before you arrived.”

You warily eyed him as he moved closer, unsure if you actually believed that.

“Warm you up to it, you know?”

You didn’t say anything, and the corner of his mouth twitched.

“After all, I am a stranger to you, so I don’t expect you to call me…dad anytime soon,” he continued. “…but for your mother’s sake, I think you should try a little more, hmm?”

He was right before you now, the light glinting off of his blue eyes, pink lips pulled into a crooked smile. You watched as his arm lifted, hand held out towards you, and you shrunk in on yourself.

“What do you say, doll?”

The pet name made you bristle, hair standing on end and skin growing cold. Downstairs, you could hear your mother coming into the house, her voice calling out for her husband and then you. Bucky’s expression was inviting enough, but the longer you stared at him, the less even his blue gaze became to you.

There was something there that just didn’t seem right to you. His eyes glinted almost excitedly, and for some reason, you really didn’t want to take his hand. Your mother called for you again, and without saying a word, you brushed by him without a backwards glance.

“What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”

Your mother pushed the shopping cart, lips pursed as she gazed over the stack of fruit before her. Her hair was pulled back, makeup nice and fashionable scarf tied around her neck. Feeling bad about avoiding her husband, and by extension her, for months, you’d agreed to go grocery shopping with her.

“James and I just haven’t gotten around to talking about that stuff.”

You frowned at her answer to your question, biting back a scoff.

“Mom, you’ve been married to him for months, and…you don’t know the smallest detail about his family?”

“Y/N-.”

“I’m not asking for an entire Ancestry.com history, but if he had any siblings, and…you…don’t…know…”

She threw you a look, and you rolled your eyes.

“That’s not strange to you? At all?” you pressed.

“I understand that you’re not his biggest fan-.”

“I don’t know him-.”

“…and you’re not trying to,” she argued.

“What do you think I’m trying to do, right now?”

She huffed.

“I’m trying to ask you questions about this new man in your life, our lives, and you can’t even answer them,” you scoffed. “I mean, who is he? What does he do? I never see him leave the house.”

“He works from home,” she nonchalantly answered.

“Doing?”

You were met with silence, and you shook your head. She smoothly changed the subject to which you weren’t interested in playing along. She was going on about some trip your neighbor Peter and his girlfriend had gone on. With the shopping done, you helped her load the groceries into the car. As she leaned in to place the paper towels into the trunk, the scarf around her neck rode up a bit, and your movements halted.

“What is that?”

Your question was soft, conveying nothing of the way your heart pounded in your chest. The skin underneath looked darker, bruised even, and before she knew it, you’d reached out to move the scarf. Her reaction was instantaneous, scary even as she smacked your hand away.

Her brutality shocked you, the look in her eyes shocking you even more.

“What the hell are you doing?”

You blinked at her cold tone, rearing back.

“Wh-what am I doing? Mom, what is that? What happened to your neck?”

She slammed the trunk closed, fixing you with a glare as she pushed the cart away. She ignored you when you called for her, only finally answering once you both were back in the car.

“If you must know, I burned myself while doing my hair the other day,” she finally said.

She was so calm about it that you almost believed her, but as many times as you’d burned yourself with a flat iron or curling iron, it had never looked that nasty before. Your thoughts immediately strayed to Bucky, and you pressed your lips together.

You opened your mouth to say something before thinking better of it.

Once you made it back home, you noted with a frown that Bucky didn’t come out to help with the groceries. However, he welcomed your mother with open arms once you made it inside. Your stomach churned at their display of affection, grimacing as he pressed his face into her neck. The action made you think about what you saw earlier, but before you could move, he lifted his head slightly.

His baby blues met your own eyes, unreadable and unnerving all at once. His arms tightened around her, gaze holding yours, and feeling all kinds of uncomfortable, you moved past them to put the groceries away. You could hear her giggle behind you, and you had another stray thought of simply moving out.

But the thought of leaving her with him made you want to be sick.

It was later in the night when you had trouble sleeping yet again. You never had before, but then he moved in, and it became a common occurrence for you. Your throat felt dry, and your head pounded, so naturally you thought a glass of water was the cure.

The house was eerily quiet when you left your room. It was a modest house, sure, but your mother’s room was still on the other side. With that being said, you could hear her voice, and the high and long pitches of it, loud and clear. Shuddering in disgust, you hurried downstairs.

You leaned against the counter in the dark, sulking with your glass of water. So much for getting over this because here it was, months later, and you absolutely hated Bucky. You could admit that with ease now, and the thought would’ve saddened you if it didn’t anger you so much.

Something wasn’t right about him.

You just knew it, and the fact that your mother couldn’t see it made your head spin.

You both hardly knew anything about him, and you had never once seen the man leave the house. He had come into your lives so suddenly and forcefully even that the thought of getting him out seemed impossible. It really didn’t seem like he was ever going to go away, and you couldn’t wrap your head around that.

You rinsed your glass out, distractedly letting the water run over your hand. You didn’t want to go back upstairs just yet, especially while knowing what was possibly still going on. He was her husband, sure, but the thought of that man being anywhere near your mother, let alone touching her, was an upsetting one.

You had just turned the glass upside down in the sink when you felt heat at your back.

You sucked in a sharp breath, heart dropping to your stomach.

You were frozen at the sink, unable to move a muscle as hands came down to rest on either side of you. His arms brushed yours, and unable to lean away, you felt his bare chest at your back. His skin was cool, alarmingly so, and you could feel his breath on your neck as he breathed out. However, when you looked over your shoulder…

Bucky was on the other side of the room.

The whole thing happened so fast that you wondered if you had imagined it, but if you closed your eyes, you could still feel his cool breath on your skin, and that was how you knew that you hadn’t. He leaned against the other counter, head tilted ever so slightly as he gazed at you in the dark. His eyes almost seemed to glow, and you couldn’t stop yourself from pressing further against the sink when he dragged them over you.

“You look so much like your mother,” he hummed. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

You didn’t say anything, frozen in place underneath the weight of his gaze. He simply hummed again at your silence, and you watched him lift a hand to brush his fingers along his mouth. He suddenly chuckled to himself, turning his head to look towards the kitchen window where the moonlight shone in.

“She said you’d asked some questions about me.”

Your jaw clenched at that, thinking to yourself that your mother evidently couldn’t be trusted. You didn’t know what kind of hold he had on her, but you started to wonder what else she’d told him.

“You’re my new dad…right?” you mockingly asked because you both knew you didn’t see him as such. “Am I not allowed to be curious?”

He looked back to you, staring at you for what felt like a long time before he grinned, pearly whites on display.

“Anything you want to know, you’re more than welcome to ask me.”

“Kind of hard to do that when I don’t believe anything you say,” you quietly sneered.

His smile dropped, and you swallowed.

“I don’t know what you’re doing here, Bucky…and I don’t know what you want with my mom, but… I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you, and I probably never will.”

Your voice was but a whisper, but you got the feeling that he heard you loud and clear. With him staring you down, you finally moved, walking towards the entrance under his watchful eye. You looked over your shoulder at him, heart racing.

“I think that you’re bad for her, and as much as I want you to prove me wrong…”

Your eyes met his again, stare unwavering.

“Proving me right would finally give me an excuse to hurt you.”

He said nothing, and with nothing left to say, you practically ran upstairs.

You should’ve known that first morning.

You should’ve guessed somehow, but how were you to predict the impossible?

Your mother was never late for work. In fact, your punctuality had been inherited from her, so when you woke up to find her car still in the driveway, you’d been worried to say the least. Bucky was in the kitchen cooking, and when you inquired about her, he’d distractedly told you that she wasn’t feeling well.

His lack of concern angered you. After all, your mother never got sick.

The lack of color in her face should’ve been your first clue that something was seriously wrong. You hadn’t been in her room since she’d married him, and you had stood in the doorway awkwardly until you caught a glimpse of her face. You had rushed to her side, frowning in concern.

“I’m just tired,” was what she’d weakly told you, but you were sure that if she could see her face, even she would laugh at her own words.

It wasn’t even just her skin. Her hair looked lifeless, her lips were terrifyingly dry, and when she reached for your hand, it seemed like it took all of her strength to do so. However, when you brought up calling a doctor, she’d seemed panicked.

“There’s no need for the fuss,” she whispered. “Just…tired.”

“Mom,” you had harshly whispered. “You look…awful.”

She only chuckled weakly at your words, eyes falling closed, and you sighed to yourself. You hadn’t had a chance to sit with her more, a hand on the back of your neck making you jump. When you stood, Bucky was next to you, some soup in his hand, and you frowned at the steam coming from the bowl. His free hand traveled from your neck and to your jaw, grazing the skin and brushing his thumb over it soothingly.

“She’s going to be fine,” he assured you. “I’m taking real good care of her.”

He held your gaze, and your frown deepened, jerking away when his thumb touched your lip. You took some steps back, worriedly looking between them. You watched him take your place, sitting next to her and waking her up. She seemed livelier now, and you swallowed as he coaxed her to eat.

Unable to stomach looking at the scene, you left.

“I would call a doctor just to be on the safe side,” Wanda’s voice told you over the phone days later. “Your mom is hardly ever sick…”

You chewed on your lip, standing outside. You absentmindedly watched some new neighbors move in across the street. A couple, you surmised.

“…and then for it to happen so drastically is worrying.”

Despite both your mother’s and Bucky’s protests against just that, it was exactly what you did.

It was a day later when you were standing next to the doctor as he looked over your mother. She had given a weak protest once he arrived, but it was short-lived. Bucky had been visibly unhappy when you answered the door, but you had happily ignored him, thankful that the doctor was able to make a house visit.

“Well?” you wondered when he stood.

“She’s just weak,” he answered, making you frown. “She’s not getting the proper rest nor the proper nutrients from what I can tell, but I’d really suggest having her brought in for a more thorough examination.”

“That won’t be necessary.”

You hadn’t even realized that Bucky was behind you both, and you turned to frown at him. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top as he strode in, expression even as he came closer.

“We’ll make sure she eats well and rests enough,” he continued, and you shook your head.

You didn’t really want to argue about this now, and so you bit your tongue as he talked to Dr. Banner. You were right behind them both as they made their way down the stairs, watching as Bucky waved the man off with promises to take care of your mother.

“All she does these days is sleep,” you spat at him as soon as the door was shut.

Bucky merely looked at you.

“…clearly that’s not working,” you went on. “Something is seriously wrong with her, and I think she needs to go to a hospital.”

He actually had the gall to chuckle at you, moving closer and placing his hand on your cheek. You swiftly moved out of his reach, and his smile only widened, unbothered by the action.

“…and I’m telling you that’s unnecessary.”

You stared at him as he started to move away, nostrils flaring and lip curling over your teeth.

“Why don’t you want her to get better?”

Your question halted him, and you straightened when he slowly turned around to face you.

“You insist that she’s fine, you’re so against taking her to see someone, I mean…”

You placed your hands on your hips, staring him down.

“You’re not acting like a concerned husband, at all. You don’t even seem worried,” you accused.

He didn’t even bother to defend himself, simply holding your gaze for a moment longer. In that moment, his expression shifted. It wasn’t a drastic change, just barely subtle enough for you to notice it, but it was eerie, really, like watching a mask fall. His friendly gaze didn’t seem quite so much, and his smile fell just a tad. It was like staring into the face of an entirely different person, and even long after he’d walked away and joined your mother upstairs, you felt like you couldn’t move.

Going to sleep that night was more difficult than any other night, concern for your mother keeping you awake. In addition to that, Bucky was up too. You could hear his footsteps outside of your door well into the night, and your last conscious thought was that it sounded a lot like he was pacing.

When you peeled your eyes open in the morning, it took every ounce of energy within you to do so. You had never felt so weak in your entire life, and all efforts to move were unsuccessful. You heard yourself groan, head turning slightly while squeezing your eyes shut. You could hear footsteps nearing your room, and you guessed it was Bucky.

You guessed right.

Your vision was distorted, tilting and wavering, but you made him out clearly. You could do nothing as he moved closer to you, reaching out to press a hand to your forehead. His hand was so cold, too cold, and you sadly thought that you were sick too. Bucky voiced your thoughts.

“You seem to have whatever your mother has,” he murmured, sitting next to you.

You wanted to shake his hand off, wanted him as far away as possible, but you could hardly move. You felt his fingers ghost over your face before moving down to your neck, tracing patterns into your skin. You could faintly register him saying something, but it was hard to focus with his fingers on you.

They pressed against your neck, and for some reason, you winced at the action. He was talking, but all you could fixate on was his fingers dancing down your body. They brushed over your chest, inappropriately so, and you found the strength to push at his hand, but it wasn’t enough to push him away.

His fingers pressed into your thigh through the sheets, and you felt him lean in, cold lips pressed to your forehead. He deeply inhaled, breathing you in.

“Don’t worry, doll,” he whispered against your skin. “I’ll take care of you too.”

That was the last thing you wanted, but there wasn’t any fight left in you, and the only thing you could do was sleep. It was hard to say how long you were in and out of it, but sometimes you were aware of Bucky’s presence. His voice in your ear, his hands on your skin.

The next time you were much more aware, you didn’t know what day it was. The only thing you did know was that you felt better, less weak, and you were actually able to sit up. It made you somewhat lightheaded, but after a few seconds, it cleared. You could hear Bucky downstairs, and you absentmindedly reached up to your throat.

It didn’t hurt like it did before, and you frowned in confusion.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling much better.”

You hadn’t even heard him come up, flinching at the sound of his voice. His eyes were too bright and smile too wide under the circumstances, and you struggled to move away from him as he moved closer. You had the faintest memory of his hands on you, and while you didn’t know if it was real or a product of your fever, you had never exactly trusted him.

“My mom,” you murmured, already moving to get out of bed.

However, Bucky prevented you from doing so.

“She’s fine. She’s resting,” he told you.

You frowned at that, wondering how many days had passed. If she was still sick, she really needed a doctor, and you shook his hand off.

“I want to see her,” you breathed, struggling to talk.

Now, it was his turn to frown at you, tilting his head as he worriedly looked over you.

“You’re still unwell,” he murmured, hand resting on your neck.

His skin was just so cold, and you thought to yourself that it didn’t feel like you had a fever. You pushed his hand away, sliding out of bed, and you didn’t miss Bucky’s sigh when you almost immediately fell back down. Your entire body shook, and you dug your nails into the sheets.

“See?” he cooed, pulling you close. “I know that you think you’re much better, but if you could see you, right now, you’d listen to me.”

He pulled your head to rest on his chest, fingers playing with your hair. Your vision started to sway again, and you slowly blinked, taking deep breaths through your parted lips. He hummed, the sound resonating from deep within his chest, and it was in that moment that you realized something.

You couldn’t feel his heartbeat.

“…both you and your mother need me,” he said, still playing with your hair. “You’re both just so weak…so…helpless.”

You struggled to pull away, heart speeding up the longer the silence within his own chest went on, but Bucky wouldn’t let you. His hand tightened on your head, almost painfully so, while the other slid up your chest to curl around your throat. You made a noise of protest, gasping now as his hand tightened.

He gently shushed you, and your eyes watered.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “You just need to rest.”

Your vision was growing spotty, darkness in the corners that slowly spread until it was all you could see.

The next time you woke up, it was nighttime. It was dark outside, and it was just as dark in the house. More of your strength was back, evident in the way you were able to stand without falling. You looked around, relieved to find no sign of Bucky, but you were even more relieved not to hear him. You didn’t know if he was in your mother’s room, but quite frankly, you didn’t care.

You needed to check on her.

You were shocked to find her room empty of him too, but too concerned with your mother, you decided not to question it. You turned on the light and softly gasped at how much better she didn’t look. She still looked so weak, so drained of color, and you hurried towards her. Her skin, like Bucky’s, was also pretty cool to the touch, and upon closer inspection, her breathing was shallow.

With a huff, and with your mind made up, you hurried back to your room to grab your keys. You didn’t know if you were grateful or not for your mother’s drastic weight loss, but it made carrying most of her weight easier as you pulled her out of bed and leaned her onto you. You could barely hear her breathing, and you found yourself getting angry at Bucky all over again.

You didn’t know where he was, but you honestly didn’t care. Your mother was your first priority, and you took deep breaths as you practically dragged her down the stairs.

“We’re going to get you to a hospital, okay?”

She didn’t respond, and truthfully, you didn’t even know if she heard you. You struggled to get the door open, leaning against it for a few seconds to catch your breath. You were unfortunately reminded of the fact that you weren’t completely better yourself, and by the time you deposited your mother into your passenger seat, you had to stop.

You glanced around the dark neighborhood, thankful for the street lights. You didn’t know how late it was, completely forgetting to grab your phone, but the only house with lights on was the new neighbors’ across the street. After some time, you finally straightened and strapped your mother in. She didn’t react, at all, and you worriedly touched her face.

It was then that you saw it.

Two of the tiniest puncture wounds were on her neck, and your lips parted. They weren’t the easiest to see in the dark, but you brushed your fingers over her neck to confirm. Your frown deepened as your mind ran, wondering to yourself if Bucky was doing something to her. Injecting her with something. It would make a lot of things make sense, and you clenched your jaw.

When you closed her door, you froze, stomach dropping straight to your feet.

You didn’t know where Bucky had come from, but he was there…on the other side of the car. He looked just as beautiful as he always did, scarily so and such a contrast to your mother. His blue eyes glinted under the light of the moon, hair as dark as the sky, and with how nicely he was dressed, you briefly wondered where he’d been.

But then…you decided that you didn’t care.

You stomped around your car, not sparing him another glance.

“I’m taking her to the ER.”

You heard him let out a small chuckle, and as you reached for your door, his hand was suddenly there and clasped around your wrist. You looked up at him in shock, lips parted as his sudden close proximity and painful hold. His face was so close to yours, and you leaned away.

“I already told you that’s not necessary.”

You struggled to pull your arm away, wincing as he tightened his grip.

“What are you doing to her?” you finally asked the question you had never wanted to acknowledge. “What have you done to her?”

Bucky didn’t answer, merely tilting his head at you, a thoughtful hum on the wind.

“Why don’t you want her to get better? Why won’t you let me take her to get help? What is wrong with you?”

You gasped in pain when he forced your hand away from your car, his other clasping your neck with ease. You had a brief moment of déjà vu, and you frowned, recalling a similar position that you had convinced yourself was a nightmare. You reached up to dig your nails into his arm, hitting against his chest, but it did no good.

“Sweet, sweet daughter of mine,” he quietly purred, forcing you into the house. “Just what are you accusing me of?”

You couldn’t speak, and your feet kicked out at him with no success. When he abruptly let you go, your back harshly met the floor, and you looked up at him in fear. You watched him turn away from you, making his way outside to your mother. You pressed your lips together, trembling on the floor, and a few tears escaped as you forced yourself to your feet.

Feeling like you were moving on autopilot, you strode into the kitchen. Blood rushed in your ears, and your heart was pounding in your chest. You weren’t even thinking, only that Bucky was dangerous…and you needed him away from your mother. When you exited the kitchen, you noticed that he wasn’t outside, and your car was empty.

You were unsurprised to turn around and see him coming back downstairs, emptyhanded.

Before you knew what you were doing, you were heading straight for him, and the sound of the knife sinking into his flesh was loud. Aside from the slight raising of his brows, he didn’t react…but you did. You gasped in shock at your own actions, feeling like you were waking up, and you slowly looked down to where the knife was lodged into his chest.

Shocked at your own actions, you slowly stumbled away. However, as shocked as you were, you didn’t feel regret. This man was dangerous, and he’d done something to your mother that you’d yet to prove. The consequences of what you’d just done would come later, but you didn’t regret your decision.

You didn’t…until you watched him pull the knife out with ease.

Your whole world fell apart as you watched him, body growing numb and brain short-circuiting. There was a tear in his nice shirt, and through it, you could see the way his skin healed. You swallowed in disbelief, eyes trained on the unblemished skin, the only evidence of what you’d done being the blood still there…and the knife in his hand.

When your eyes finally met his again, they seemed less blue…and more black.

“I really wish you hadn’t done that,” he hummed, stepping towards you.

You stumbled back, almost tripping over your feet. Your entire body was shaking, mind struggling to accept what you’d just witnessed. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible, and yet, you’d seen it with your own eyes. You slowly moved back through the kitchen, towards the backdoor, and Bucky followed.

He didn’t look so nice now, so polite. In fact, your mother’s husband looked downright predatory, and you couldn’t hold back your tears. You watched him fling the knife away with a speed and strength that was inhuman, and you released a shuddering breath.

What had your mother brought into your lives?

“We could’ve been one big happy family,” he tutted, almost sadly. “Your mom…and you…ignorantly happy as you give me what I need. What I want.”

His voice dropped, and you reached back towards the door handle. You struggled to get a hold of it, tears rapidly falling down your face. Your heart threatened to leap out of your chest, and you had difficulty unlocking the door as Bucky came closer.

“…but like a bitch with a bone…you just wouldn’t let it go.”

The locked clicked, and you twisted the knob just as he reached out to you, grin wide and teeth…sharp.

“Come on, doll,” he quietly urged, head tilted to the side. “Come to daddy.”

You almost fell onto the ground as you pushed the door open, struggling to get your footing as you sprinted outside. All of the yards were separated by wooden fences, and in this moment, you never regretted your lack of athletic talent more than now.

The trees behind your house weren’t the densest, and really, they only separated your neighborhood from the next one over. However, your chances of getting to one of their doors was better than trying to hop a fence you knew you couldn’t jump. A few branches whipped at your face, a few cutting you and drawing blood, and the lights from the next neighborhood were visible when a sharp pain in your neck had a blood-curdling scream escaping.

A hand covered your mouth to silence you, and you cried out in pain into the skin. Another hand was fisted in your hair, pulling your head back, and your tearful gaze was focused on the moon as blood ran down your shoulder and chest. Bucky’s chest was pressed to your back, face buried into your neck as you were forced to accept the impossible in the worst way.

When he let you go, you collapsed, hands unable to stop you in time. You struggled to push yourself onto your hands and knees, and you could hear him behind you. You shakily crawled away, vision tilting, and you reached up with one hand to touch your neck. You pulled it away, growing even more lightheaded at the sight of blood.

“…and where does daddy’s little girl think she’s going? Hmm?”

He was closer now, and you pushed yourself to your feet with difficulty. Your whole body seemed to be fighting against you as you stumbled away, and unsurprisingly, your legs shook until they gave out completely. Your back met the leaves, your gaze blearily focused on the moon…until he filled your vision.

“Please…please,” you tearfully mumbled as he lowered himself to your level.

He reached for your face, gripping your jaw, and you let out a whine as he pulled the upper half of your body up by your head. Blood, your blood, was on his lips, and you hit at him as he pulled you closer. This time when he bit you, his teeth sank into the skin just above your chest. Your eyes rolled, and you could feel yourself growing weaker.

This couldn’t be happening.

That was what you repeated to yourself in your head, but it was. This creature had slithered his way into your lives, and you found yourself questioning everything. This was what he’d been doing to your mother, feeding from her, and you wanted to be sick. You found yourself wondering how they had really met, and just how long he’d been forcing his way into a world he didn’t belong to. Suppose you had stayed away longer…what would have happened?

Even better…suppose you had come home earlier… Would any of this even had happened? It didn’t seem fair to blame yourself, but you felt like you held some blame. You always looked out for your mother, and the one time you failed her, it cost you both everything.

You just registered Bucky’s hand pinning yours to the ground, bloody lips kissing down your frame. You were so weak, you could hardly move, and you wanted to cry again as you realized what was happening…and there was no one around to stop him. Your lashes fluttered, and you could feel yourself slipping.

When you opened them again, his lips were on yours, soft and metallic tasting as he moved them against yours. He hummed into the kiss, tasting the inside of your mouth, and you squeezed your eyes shut. When they fluttered open again, the chilly October air kissed your bare legs, making you shudder, and you could feel Bucky’s bare chest grazing your own. You turned your head away with a groan, eyes shutting for the last time.

The final time your eyes opened, it was not of your own volition.

They flew open at the intrusive feel of him pushing his way into you, cock hard and stretching you around him. With what little strength you had, you tried to push against his hands, but his hold was strong as he held them to the ground. You were much more awake now, gasping at the feel of him thrusting into you, dirt and sticks digging into your back.

You made a noise of protest, and Bucky shushed you, curving his hips into yours. He buried his face into your neck again, tongue laving against your skin to taste the excess blood. His dark locks brushed against your skin with his every movement, and you were disgusted for more reasons than one. He hummed against your skin, running his nose along your jaw, and you turned your head away.

“Don’t be like that,” he whispered, grabbing your face.

He kissed you again, and you cringed at the taste of your blood on his tongue. Bucky’s other hand traveled down to your waist, gripping it and holding you close as he pulled out almost completely before thrusting back into you. Your thighs were spread to accommodate his frame, and even with your hands free, you were just too weak to fight him off.

He pulled his face away, brush a thumb over your lip. He pressed his own lips to your cheek, remaining there and breathing you in. Your gaze focused on the moon again, back involuntarily arching, chest pressing up against his. Bucky groaned above you, hand pressing into the ground beside your head now. You didn’t want to look at him, but you felt almost compelled to as he surged back and forth above you.

When he rolled you both, you weren’t able to hold yourself up on top of him. However, Bucky didn’t seem bothered by that, content to hold you against him and thrust himself up into you. Your head lolled, and your lashes fluttered, and your nails dug into the earth. He moaned beneath you, head thrown back and mouth parted, perfect teeth and sharp canines on display as he took his fill of you. The moonlight made his fair skin look so much paler.

He reached up to grip your neck, holding you in place as he fucked you from below. His teeth were bared, and you knew what was coming as he pulled your face closer. This time, you could only let out a weak groan when he bit you, greedily pulling from you and taking mouthfuls of your blood. You shook the entire time he drank from you, small whimpers escaping your lips.

When he pulled his teeth out of you, your head drooped, and if it wasn’t for his hand, you would’ve collapsed on top of him completely. He ran his nose along your skin, deeply inhaling and groaning with every thrust into you. To your embarrassment, you were wet, dripping down onto him and making his movements smooth.

“You hated me from the first moment you met me,” he purred, kissing your lips. “…and yet here you are, making a mess on me and fucking yourself onto my cock.”

You struggled to shake your head. It wasn’t true, and his other hand joined in, wrapping around your neck too. He held you above him, drinking you in from your face all the way down to where he repeatedly disappeared into you. Your cheeks met his thighs with every thrust, and as his hands tightened around your throat, your vision grew less and less clear.

Your hands gripped his arms, and you had the damning thought that he might kill you. You didn’t know why it didn’t occur to you earlier, but it made sense. He seemed to want free reign to do whatever he wanted to your mother, and you weren’t going to let that happen. However, you did recall what he’d said earlier about getting what he needed and wanted from both of you.

Your heart stuttered as you remembered your own bout of sickness, of weakness, and your stomach churned.

Bucky sat up, chest to chest with his hands still around your neck. His eyes traced the tears that fell down your cheeks, almost happily, and you couldn’t turn away when he kissed you again. He pressed his lips to yours several times, pecking them and tasting them. Literally.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip, and when you felt blood rise to the surface, he swooped in. He completely covered them with his own, drinking your blood, and you felt some run down your chin. You groaned in protest, hitting against his arms as his hold grew tighter and tighter.

Without warning, you found yourself on your back again. Bucky’s cock slid along your walls, and you could feel every curve and vein. Your legs kicked around him as less and less air made its way into you. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned, staring you down with flared nostrils and eyes so intense you couldn’t look away. His dark hair wasn’t so neat now, and you only just registered the sticky feeling of dried blood on your face and neck and chest.

His eyes flickered between your own terrified gaze and the sight of his cock sliding into you, disappearing between your thighs. He groaned at the sight, shuddering, and he closed his eyes, slowly pushing into you and hissing at the feel of you gripping him. To your horror and dismay, you could feel yourself clenching around him. There was an unbearable yet familiar heat in the pit of your stomach, and your heart sank.

“Yes,” he groaned out, head falling to press against yours.

You shook your head as best as you could, and he tightened his hold on your neck. You let out a squeak, toes curling and feet pressing into the earth. The moonlight shone down on you both through the trees, and more tears fell.

Bucky kissed you again, hard and long, breathing you in and humming into it. Your relief was short-lived when he finally let your throat go, a wide grin on his lips that you could feel into the kiss, voice a soft purr against your mouth.

“Come for daddy.”

Against your will, you did.

[bearpillowmonster]

Epic Mickey: Rebrushed

I'm an Epic Mickey stan, I would've bought this whether I played it or not, just to support it because I've always wanted more. (mainly, for Oswald!) But so much was planned for this franchise, including a movie and an Epic Donald spinoff.

CHANGES

Looking at this is night and day especially for a dark setting. The graphics weren't bad on the Wii, they were just, well, on the Wii. (which ran at max 720p) And while that's still feasible, it's so nice to see everything smoothed out and relit. They didn't have to go as far as messing with the actual fidelity of it or the custscenes but they make it known what a movie it would've been and we lost boys.

The addition of sprinting, dashing and butt stomping is really what this game needed because the first Epic Mickey was a Wii exclusive and I loved playing it when I first got into it but I found it had faded since then. I came back maybe a year or two ago to try and play it again and I just couldn't bring myself to. I like platforming and the platforming in this game sucked, it wouldn't control right, I felt like I was jumping in a straight line, like barely any momentum. It wasn't quite there for something you do a lot of. And if you fall in the thinner, there's very seldom a platform to catch you so dying sets you back and then you had to walk back so sprinting is just a complete clutch.

You also had aiming to deal with as far as the Wii remote- This review is for the Switch version, yeah, I knew that it would run a little worse than the other consoles but now I have the experience to talk about specifics and I wanted to play it on the go. The darkness I mentioned can be adjusted, not just in brightness but in color and style for color deficiency. You cannot shake the joycon to spin.

There is a choice to use motion controls when you're spraying but that's the only time it comes up, you already have to have the button pressed down and even then you can just use the analog stick, it's really good either way, no complaints. You can also set it if you're standing still and press the down arrow. The framerate…could dip and there was a time or two where it'd get stuck, the load times can be long (but you don't see a loading screen often) it's just weird to me that the game is a remaster of a game from 2010 and actually has the biggest file size on my Switch and even with all that size, has longer loading screens than comparable titles like Super Mario Odyssey.

And this is especially important for this game because you sometimes have to traverse back and forth between Ostown and Mean Street and whatever to get the side quests done (and sometimes main) and every time you have to speedrun the same pathway level (projector) to get there and each time you jump in or out is a loading screen. Seeing as this is labelled as a remake and not just a remaster, they very well could've made a fast travel. There were some instances like that where the sequel had the feature that I wanted and was hoping that it'd be updated in here like so many remaksters are doing now, Last of Us and Horizon for example.

The one thing that did carry over is that you've probably seen the different skins that you get with either preorder or purchase, there are a few unlockable ones as well. They fit well with the 2.5D levels (Brave Little Tailor for 30s cartoons, Steamboat for 20s). There is a photo mode, it's not as customized in the 2D levels but I definitely had fun with it if you can't tell.

It's the same game but it's not one-to-one, for example, the locations of the power boxes are different in Os-Town, scenes like this look different.

Which is a downgrade in my eyes but some of them are very neutral, like the health bar

…that's a choice, I guess, there was no real need to change it. It definitely makes things more textured and seem a little less rough, look at this platform where you find Pete Pan.

Sometimes more detailed and lush, but sometimes it takes from the scene. Little stuff like goo dripping from the ceiling removed, sometimes it's the overall colors and vibes of a level to either lighten or darken. I can't say whether I like one or the other totally more.

THE GAME

Let's talk about the meat because it's 60$ so I'm going to treat it like it as if it was a brand new game, plus I never reviewed the original and I don't talk about it enough so here we go. I'll cover thinner mode in some other post, this is more or less hero mode.

It's a reasonable amount of hours and honestly time as been gracious to it, whether it be the growing cult status or the fact that it's on other consoles other than the Wii because while the combat still leaves a little to be desired, the gameplay overall is a lot more refined in my eyes.

There are times where your paint can't reach an item, it's not a bad limitation but still in sight, it tells you what's reachable by turning green. But this is especially precise and annoying for the ending with the bloticles. I don't get what it is with games and popping bubbles.

Oswald is in this a lot less than I remember, I always thought of him as making mischief for a level but he kind of shows up just to show you your end goal. Towards the second half he appears a lot more though. It's kind of cool how it's all a Alice Through The Looking Glass type thing and Oswald is the White Rabbit. And all things forgotten, Atlantis, Tron…no Black Cauldron (which fits perfectly) and no Treasure Planet though everything that is popular is all mechanical, an artificial imitation and the way Smee is colored makes it look like the concept art, all inverted from the way we know and it's just-

I really like the idea of having different endings correlating to how you played. When I first played this, I tried to hundred percent it first round and paint absolutely every nook and collect every item and to be honest, I found myself doing a lot of the same stuff I did when I started, it's funny, I have the same thought processes but I've come to the conclusion that if I waste my time on just one collectible, it won't be as fun and I won't want to play it anymore and it's been this long so let me finish it. But there are obvious rewards for either path, one of the first I could tell was having a gremlin in a catapult and a chest on the switch. Remove the chest and it launches the gremlin, remove the gremlin and it locks the chest. There are times you can just thinner brush most things and it'll show a negative outlook on the world itself. You can either clean up your mess with paint or take out the trash and destroy it like it never happened.

There are a lot of things to collect and I had fun just looking in every corner though I found that they seem kind of half-and-half, some going by the wayside like the pins and some being cool like the concept art.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

Scott Pilgrim meets the girl of his dreams, Ramona Flowers, only to find out her seven evil exes stand in the way of their love.

An alternate take on the Scott Pilgrim story, which started as a series of graphic novels and received a live action feature film in 2010, this anime starts off by seeming to be a pretty straightforward animated adaptation of the film, but that soon changes.

I can't speak to how either adaptation compares to the original books (because I've never read them), but the film, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, went heavy on the video game and comic influences in a way that I found fun when it came out, and still fun when I rewatched last year.

I'm here to talk about the anime, but it's worth bringing up the movie because my experience watching the show is inextricably linked to having previously watched the movie. I don't know how the anime would be without that; probably fine, but likely somewhat of a different experience without having a "previous" storyline to compare to.

Because for the first episode, the anime hews pretty darn close to the film, making it seem like you're just watching the same thing but in cartoon format. But it diverges at the end of the first episode, at which point it becomes super intriguingly clear to the viewer that they're going to get a different story.

And this is a fun story! These characters are mostly young adults, many of them if not aimless, then just kinda doing what they can in basic jobs to get by. Scott is a loser—like, an entertaining loser because of the plot, but the guy is 23 and initially dating a 17-year-old, which (in both versions) is made clear that everyone outside of the couple thinks this shouldn't be happening.

One of the things that becomes clear within a few episodes in this version is that compared to the film, Knives-the-17-year-old gets way more focus and is allowed to develop as a character beyond "enthusiastic high schooler with a giant crush on a loser." It's really nice to see, and it's part of a larger trend in this show of developing characters beyond the title guy and his actual love interest, Ramona.

Actually, Ramona gets more development, too. She's a much more prominent and active character in this show than the movie; as the plot goes on she deliberately inserts herself into various Shenanigans as she pursues answers to a mystery, and the audience gets a better grasp of who she is as a character, not just the object of Scott's instant attraction.

She and Knives aren't the only ones; even the League of Evil Exes gets more development! (Or, for people who haven't seen the film, they get introduced to the League as characters with personalities beyond "showing up to a single fight because some guy wants to date their ex-girlfriend.")

The fights make great use of animation as a medium. The colors are saturated, the movement has weight. I wondered, before watching, how the art style would translate because it's fairly thick and chunky, but it actually turned out fantastic. Animation is smooth, and the art consistently feels like a style rather than a bunch of chibi versions of adults.

Finally, I have to mention my favorite character: Wallace Wells, Scott's roommate who actually functions as an adult, and whose deadpan sarcasm I could watch all day. He's a great foil to Scott (immature, enthusiastic), but he is also just a pleasure to have on screen (although unfortunately, a lot of his snark doesn't appear to have been gif'd).

Verdict

English dub? Yes! They notably got all the main film actors to reprise their roles for the English voices, which is a bonus for film viewers. For anime-only watchers, they're just good, solid voices—generally normal people voices, not frenetic cartoon voices.

Visuals: Great, I actively enjoyed literally watching the show.

Worth watching? Definitely for enjoyers of the film, and almost-definitely for anyone else. It's a fun action-y show with good animation direction and plenty of humor.

Where to watch (USA, July 2024): Netflix

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[bit-dodgy-innit]

Un Pequeño Enamoramiento (A Little Crush)

(Gif is not mine - if it’s yours lmk and I’ll credit you!)

Part of my 500 Follower Celebration set in my SHAPE OF YOU AU

The Prompt: Your mom has a crush on Jake and his Latino charm.

Requested by: my not secret love @my-secret-shame

Pairing: Jake x afab!reader, with Marc x afab!reader and Steven x afab!reader,  Reader is engaged to the system, references to past Marc x Layla 

Word Count: 2.9k 

Spice-o-meter: 🌶🌶 - Rated M, references to sexual content and non-graphic depictions of sex 

CW/TW: mentions of abuse, divorce, references to societal judgement regarding D.I.D, mentions of penetrative and oral sex, as well as anal play (hola it’s Jake after all), and thirsty middle-aged women 

A/N: Ohohohoho this came out angstier than I thought it would, but you know I can never get too dark without having fun too! Also remember in the Shape of You, reader’s parent love the boys, but I thought it could be interesting to see how they got there. 

Having your significant other meet your parents tends to be an anxiety-inducing experience, one made even more treacherous by the fact that your boyfriend had Dissociative Identity Disorder, a checkered past as a mercenary, and a failed married under his belt. Marc, as wonderful and considerate as he was, was a tough sell on paper. 

The first time you introduced your then-boyfriend to your parents, you had tried to get them to go easy on Marc, sharing that he didn’t have a relationship with his family anymore, in addition to personally attesting to the growth he’d shown after his divorce. 

It sort of worked. At the very least, your parents steered clear of asking Marc about his, but your dad deployed precisely zero tact when he questioned Marc on why he’d gotten divorced. Your boyfriend handled it like a champ, sitting next to you wearing the blazer you knew hated, answering their questions as honestly as he could, and insisting on paying for dinner. 

But you’d definitely noticed that Marc had been drinking. And not just his customary couple of beers after a long day of work, your boyfriend steadily put down several glasses of hard alcohol. Even crazier was how little he seemed to be affected by the veritable bottle of Jack he’d just pumped into his system. He hadn’t slurred even a single word.  

You had tried to referee the dinner as best as you could and did everything within your means to support Marc afterwards. But he was withdrawn the rest of the evening, responding to all of your questions and affirmations of love monosyllabically. He even turned down your offer to deep throat him in gratitude for pushing through what must have been an intense and maybe triggering meal for him. You went to bed in silence and the next morning, you woke up next to Steven. 

Marc needed space and time to process, you knew this, but it still frustrated you that he wouldn’t so much as share, let alone work through, his feelings with you. Though, he had done something major for you and your relationship last night, you could give him a minute. Thankfully a fire at work helped distract you in the short-term. 

Your mom met you for lunch near your office that afternoon, and when your respective cups of tea and salads arrived, the first thing she said about the night before was, “I can see why you like him. He’s very handsome.”

“He is, but I don’t just like him, mom. I’m in love with him and we’re building a life together.” Geez, couldn’t your mom give you a little credit? You didn’t love Marc only because you were shallow and a whore for his thick cock. 

She winced, and not because her beverage was too hot. “Sweet pea, he seems like a great guy, but it’s clear he has a lot of baggage.” 

You nearly spit your tea out. She had no idea. 

“That’s a lot for you to also shoulder as well, and not just emotionally. If you two get married, there’ll be financial and legal implications. Stuff like that can bubble up in really ugly ways years down the line.”

“I know. I know all of his baggage, and he knows all of mine, and we love and accept each other for it,” you kept going to prevent your mother from interjecting, “and, not that it’s really any of your business, but Marc is…working on what he needs to. Mom, we both want the same things, and besides, I want you to like him, but if you don’t, that’s not going to stop me from marrying him.”

“Oh I’m well aware,” she huffed. Your mom was one to talk, after all you inherited your stubbornness from her. “So you two have discussed getting married?” 

“Yes,” you replied instantly, you wanted there to be no room for doubt, on your parents but also on your end too. Because despite being on the same page with your boyfriend about the next step in your relationship, a ring had yet to appear. “And he hasn’t run for the hills. I wish…Marc takes a minute to warm up. I think it would be good for you to meet him again. Maybe we could have you over for lunch this weekend, and he and Dad can watch a game or something. My gut says last night spooked him, plus he really wanted to make a good impression, but then Dad went and grilled him about his ex-wife.” 

Your mom agreed that a second go was the right move. They came over Sunday, and once she could see your boyfriend in a less stuffy environment, and he started talking baseball with your dad, all was well. 

***

Even though your parents had accepted Marc, they needed a lot of prep before they met his alters. You knew it was only natural that they had a lot of questions, D.I.D. was so stigmatized and sensationalized in the media, and that had been their only exposure. They became much more open to understanding when Marc gave you permission to explained that he’d suffered so much loss and trauma as a child (they didn’t ever need to know about mercenary work and the stint with Khonshu).

To be honest, you weren’t sure how you would’ve reacted if you knew Marc had D.I.D. upfront. Now, you couldn’t imagine life without Steven and Jake. They were your boys, who all adored and supported you in their distinct and equally beautiful ways. 

Several emailed articles and hour-long conversations later, you believed your parents were ready to meet your other lovers. The introductions would take place when you and your now fiancé spent the holidays with them. You had strategized both with your parents and the boys who should meet who first and how it should all go down. So detailed was your planning, it made D-Day look like the Allies winged it at Normandy. 

Though you knew it would take your mom and dad exactly .23 seconds to fall in love with Steven just like you had, Jake had actually volunteered to go first. His reasoning was “I’m great with moms.” 

You had no clue what that meant, especially given Marc’s dark past with his mother, but he wanted to do it and you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Mom and Dad were briefed that Jake would be arriving with you, and when they welcomed you into your childhood home with the customary fanfare, you were so nervous you wanted to laugh, cry, and vomit all at the same time.

Turned out you had nothing to worry about however, because Jake had been right. He was great with moms. He greeted yours with a double cheek-kiss, called her Señora, and the woman fucking melted. 

“We’re so happy you’re here,” she giggled (fucking giggled!), “thanks for making the trek. Hopefully it wasn’t too much of a hassle.”

You were too shocked to be annoyed that your own mother hadn’t said hello to you yet. Instead, you looked at your dad flabbergasted. He acknowledged your surprise, murmuring “she did always love Antonio Banderas,” and then promptly dismissed it with a shrug. 

Your mom claimed that she absolutely needed to show you to your room, as if it wasn’t the bedroom you’d slept in until you left for uni and could find it blindfolded. You suspected it was because she wanted to watch Jake carry your suitcases, which…fair. The four of you fancied yourselves quite modern in your relationship, all very much considering each other as partners, but there was something primally tantalizing about watching a hot, strong man carry something heavy for you. 

It was only after Jake had bent over to place your suitcases down and got an eyeful of his denim-clad ass that your mom noticed your engagement ring, having never seen it in person before. 

“Oh sweet pea, it’s stunning!” She gazed at Jake from underneath her eyelashes. “You chose beautifully.” 

“Thank you,” he preened. 

“De nada,” she said, flaunting one of the whopping ten Spanish words she knew. 

“Muy bien!” Jake commended her. 

Finally, finally, she left you two alone to get settled and you faceplanted onto the bed as soon as the door shut.  

“I told you so.” Smug, sexy bastard. 

You turned so you could see him. “It beats the alternative I guess.” 

“Just watch,” Jake began while he unzipped his suitcase, “I’ll help cook dinner and have her eating out of the palm of my hand.” 

“As long as it’s not literally,” you retorted. 

Your cheekiness compelled him to pounce on top of you, the two of you rolling around your bed (thank goodness you’d upgraded to a queen as a teenager) and trading giggly, giddy kisses atop it. 

“I’m happy you’re here,” you whispered, trying to nuzzle impossibly closer to him.

“Yo también,” he concurred, a mischievous grin playing on his lips. “Other than the basics, your parents can’t speak Spanish, si?” 

“Si,” you confirmed. “Only me.” 

“Fantástico. Para que pueda decir lo que quiera delante de ellos, como lo mucho que quiero follarte en esta cama.”

“Jake!” you reproached him. 

“Lo siento,” he apologized half-heartedly, pushing himself off the bed, “Vamos y podemos ayudar tu madre con la cena.”

“Bien,” you consented. “Tengo mucho hambre.” 

Jake was so damn charming and delightful over the next two days he was nearly laying it on too thick. You were thrilled your parents, specifically your mom, approved of him, but there was a perverse little jealous part of you that couldn't help but wonder how they’d feel if your parents knew what your fiancé did to their daughter behind closed doors, and in his past life as an avatar. 

Yet when Jake’s three days of the trip were up – the plan was each alter would front exclusively for a third of the trip, Jake first, Steven second, and Marc last – you understood exactly why your fiancé had gone to such lengths to ingratiate himself with your family. When Steven came downstairs with you for breakfast on his first morning, your parents barely batted an eyelash. 

Marc had shared that historically, Jake had been the system’s protector. He was the one who took over when Marc or Steven had been overwhelmed, and you were shocked to learn that the other two men had only learned of his existence about a year or so before you met Marc. 

Jake’s actions made perfect sense. Even though your parents had left in a good place with Marc during their last visit, he wanted to make sure they couldn’t hold his D.I.D. against them. Jake would warm them up to the idea of three men existing inside of the body their daughter loved so Steven and Marc could have just a smooth visit as he did with their future in-laws. 

Your mom raved about him when the two of you went for an early walk. Your dad had a last-minute work call and Jake was dozing after the morning head you’d treated him to for being fiancé-extraordinaire.

“Oh honey,” she gushed. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this but, he’s so…sexy, but such a gentleman too!” 

“Right?” You’d decided the first night of the stay to not fight your mom’s crush on Jake. “Just wait until you meet Steven tomorrow, he’s just as wonderful, but in a different way.” 

“You know, I can hardly believe they’re all technically the same person,” she mused, then caught herself. “Not that they’re not their own people but they share—“

“I get it,” you cut her short to let her know it was okay. “I always tell them how different they look.”

“It can’t be easy, loving essentially three different people like that,” she remarked, surprising you with her unexpectedly astute observation. 

“I mean, yes and no,” you replied. It was beyond difficult for you to put into words. “They’re all their own people but each part of a whole at the same time. It was definitely an adjustment. But now I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

“You make a beautiful couple,” she told you, and her endorsement of the man you loved nearly brought you to tears in front of your neighbors' house. 

***

That night, your parents had a bunch of family over, and you instructed them to introduce your fiancé as Jake and just leave it at that for the time being. It was the holidays, so the alcohol was flowing even more freely than usual, so it really wasn’t a problem. Your extended family, God love ‘em, were never great with names to begin with and you could always tell them that when Marc was drunk his accent came out. 

It wasn’t that you were trying to hide or were ashamed of his D.I.D., but you and your fiancé were realistic about how other people would perceive it and him. It was often easier and less stressful to breeze past the tough conversations and protect your lovers’ peace if you didn’t think others would receive the information in a healthy way. 

One of your relatives had turned on the stereo and somehow the younger cousins, including you and Jake, were dancing in your parent’s living room. Dancing with Jake was one of your very favorite things to do, and while you didn’t get to do enough of it, the pair of you kept it tame given the setting. 

But when Jake showed off a little and twirled you, you couldn’t help but be transported to the dark, sultry underground salsa club the two of you first met at. Sex seemed to pulse in the air along with the bass and writhing bodies there, and it wasn’t long before you and this beguiling stranger who wore the same face as Marc and Steven joined them. After a few hours at that place, you hadn’t just ridden in Jake’s car home, you’d rode him in the car, the whole night blurring into a mix of tequila, salsa music, and sweat. 

The song ended and Jake whispered a question to you, his lips brushing against the delicate skin of your earlobe and making you shiver. You gave him your blessing and when he asked your mom to dance, you figured maybe you could tell her that Jake used to kill on behalf of an Egyptian god and loved to stick his fingers into your asshole because she was smitten with Jake Lockley. 

His dance partner now occupied, your dad engaged you in a little step touch together. He caught you watching your mom and fiancé with shining eyes. 

“He sure does make you happy,” he observed. 

“Yeah.” 

“And he respects you?” 

“Mmmhmmm.” 

“Good.” 

Your father wasn’t a man of many words, but he knew how to make them count. It made you chuckle to yourself, he was a big softie, but the boys revealed that despite saving the world from a power-hungry Egyptian goddess and literally dying, fulfilling the tradition of asking your father for your hand was one of the scariest things they’d ever done in their life. 

The song ended and you were reunited with your fiancé. He collected you in his arms as a slower, quieter song filled your parent’s living room. 

“You’re quite a tough act to follow Jake Lockley,” you noted while you gazed over his shoulder at your mother, still a bit flustered after her dance with him. 

“Disparates,” he dismissed the notion. “Estarán bien mientras no se pierdan en su propia cabeza.”

It was where Jake differed from his alters. Where Marc and Steven had their unique ways of wrapping themselves around their respective axles and overthinking things, Jake would simply act. He seemed to be more in tune with his instincts, though his tendency toward action could push the envelope toward impulsivity at times. 

“Well, you did a buen trabajo setting the stage for them,” you praised him. 

“Yeah, tell them to thank me, will you?” Jake pulled you closer to amend his previous thought.  “Or better yet, you could thank me for them.” 

“You’re insatiable,” you accused him blithely.  

Jake lips returned to your ear. “Y tú lo encantas.”

As much as you tried to deny it, he was right. Instead of admitting it, you turned your head to connect your lips and whispered “Te amo.” 

“Vamos arriba,” Jake entreated you, his gravelly tone irresistible.

Yet after you excused the two of you, you caught sight of your cousin Rachel as you and Jake were heading up. She beckoned you outside where she and her boyfriend Todd were having a covert couple of beers away from the barrage of questions from your relatives. You joined them, postponing your private expression of gratitude to Jake. 

He didn’t altogether mind, because for once you didn’t give him shit when he had a cigarette with Todd, plus you had all night to sneak in some sex. Mostly though, he was just happy to see you at ease and that he perhaps could be integrated into your family after all. 

Jake, nor Steven or Marc had had a family in a long time, and so he was relieved he took a step closer to joining yours. It was a terrifying proposition to them, especially Marc, but if you were by their side, any of them would walk through fire, go to the Duat and back, or hell, take another bullet or two. Thankfully, tonight merely called for schmoozing with your extended family, and Jake was happy to do it. 

A/N: Wooo! Slowly plowing through these fills! Hope the angst made the sweetness and spiciness worth it. We can’t blame reader’s mom, can we? Also, anyone else need more of Sr. Hernandez and ethnic hips dancing on screen? Because I’ll write and finance one just for him 🙃 

Taglist: @twwcs, @rmoonstoner, @hot-mess-express1, @murdickdocked, @toracainz, @saahmi, @unspokenmoon, @winterbiipp, @avatarofseshat @ilikeoldermenhelp , @losers-club6, @harrys-tittie, @ninebluehearts, @lucianadraven32, @dawnsutopia, @strawberry1042, @nikitawolfxo 

Translations: 

De nada - you’re welcome 

Muy bien - very good 

Yo también - Me too 

Si - yes 

Fantástico. Para que pueda decir lo que quiera delante de ellos, como lo mucho que quiero follarte en esta cama. - Fantastic. So I can say whatever I want in front of them, like how much I want to fuck you in this bed. 

Lo siento - I’m sorry 

Vamos y podemos ayudar tu madre con la cena -  Let’s go and help your mother with dinner. 

Bien - Okay 

Tengo mucho hambre - I am very hungry 

Disparates - Nonsense 

Estarán bien mientras no se pierdan en su propia cabeza. - They’ll be good as long as their don’t get lost in their own head. 

 buen trabajo - good job 

Y tú lo encantas - And you love it. 

Te amo - I love you 

Vamos arriba - Let’s go upstairs 

[joyfulhopelox]

Strawberries & Cigarettes

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (Soulmate!AU)

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of sex (once), swear words, talks about death of minor character, mentions of smoking (don't do it kids)

Summary: As a child you detested strawberries, convincing yourself that you have an allergy to them. But imagine your shock when you grow up and realise that your soulmate connection has to do with the wretched berry.

Word count: 7.7k

rating : pg

A/N: This is square 4/25 for the @bangtanwritingbingo (Square: Strawberries) I have not written something remotely angsty in a while so this has been a challenge but i did it! And i am somewhat proud of it! Thank you @mochi-molala @sunshinejunghoseokie for listening to me complain about this it has been a journey. And most importantly, thank you @min-yoon-kween for being a beta queen and trying to read through this mess and managing to make 3am rambles onto words. I really appreciated all the support and tough love! @yoonjinkooked, @sunshinekims and @yoonia thank you for being there and listening to my 3am complaints whilst i was getting this done, your encouragement has been a massive help!

Copyrights @joyfulhopelox for both the work and the banner

As always please leave feedback and/or talk to me as i love to hear from you! Enjoy <3

The sweet, fragrant, slightly tart taste invades your senses once again causing you to sigh in frustration. How are you meant to find your soulmate if this unknown taste is all you have to go by? You couldn’t even pinpoint what it could be, the flavour being unlike anything that has ever touched your tastebuds.

“For real now Y/N, what do you have against fruit?” Your friend, Taehyung, inquires. You’ve adamantly refused his offer to share a fruit snack. It’s not like you had anything against fruit, far from it. You loved fruit. It was just the wretched strawberries lying there innocently on the bed of other berries, tainting them.

“It’s not fruit! I love fruit, you know that! Remember that time we snuck out into your grandfather's garden to steal apricots?” Your friend snorts. He remembers that time extremely well. You ate way more than you should have and ended up with indigestion for days after that.

“It’s just…” you grimace, looking once more at the red offenders. “Those”

“Strawberries?!” It was Taehyung’s turn to grimace. “How can you still hate strawberries after all this time? They are the best berry out there!” As if to prove his point he reaches for one and pops it in his mouth. You look away in disgust. “Oh come on Y/N, give them a try. You never know, you may like them now.” He pushed one towards you. Glaring at him, you rejected his offer.

“Tae, you know I can't! It’s not that I don't like them, I am allergic to them!” He responded with an incredulous look but didn’t say anything. Reading too much into his look you go to defend yourself. “I am! Since I was a child!”

“How do you know?” He raised an eyebrow at you. Shrugging, you tried to find a good answer.

Truth is, you didn’t know whether or not you were allergic to them. All you had was a bad memory from when you were a child. You had a very bad encounter with said berries. It was not a near death experience by any means, and it was not an allergic reaction. You were just a child, excited at the thought of trying a new fruit and so in your exhilaration you shoved it a bit too readily in your mouth. The innocent berry happened to go down the wrong pipe and causing you to choke and your family to panic. Ever since then you had sworn to never touch them again, telling everyone around you that you were allergic. That way you didn’t have to face the shame of retelling this childhood story and they couldn’t try forcing you to eat them.

It happened so long ago that you couldn’t even remember the taste. You couldn’t understand why everyone around you seemed to find them so delicious.

“I- just do ok? I had a bad reaction to them a long time ago, and I don’t want a repeat experience” you shrugged hoping that he would not catch onto the white lie you had just blatantly presented to his face. Side eyeing you suspiciously, Taehyung made sure to eat the strawberry he had picked up, sighing in the most dramatic way possible.

“Well then, more for me” his mouth was so full you could barely understand him. Disgusted you pushed his shoulder playfully. “Ew, that is bad manners. Did your mother not teach you to chew with your mouth closed?”

Taehyung pretended to look thoughtful whilst still chewing. “Nope, now take a blueberry and shut up” he pushed the assortment of fruit your way once again, this time making sure that the strawberries were out of your sight.

“Thanks Tae” you smiled gratefully at him, picking a blueberry out. Before it could reach your mouth, a loud thump resounded from next to you making you jump. Surprised your fingers let go of the blueberry you were holding so preciously.

“Oh man, don’t waste food!” a voice you recognised all too well spoke, whilst a hand made its way past your face and into the bowl of fruit Taehyung had so carefully prepared for the two of you. Long slender fingers wrapped themselves around the green stem of a strawberry. You followed the movement of the hand holding the strawberry to come face to face with the culprit.

“Hello to you too, Jungkook” Taehyung sighs, his smile instantly dropping. “What brings you here?” His deadpan expression was a good indication of how happy he was to see him.

“Uh, it’s lunchtime?” Jungkook looked at Taehyung as if he had grown a second head. “Is this not where we are supposed to eat lunch?” disposing of the green stem of the strawberry, he pops it in his mouth. You wanted to grimace, you had enough of Taehyung making a scene whilst eating that damned fruit. Now you are forced to witness the office heartthrob lick his fingers clean of the fruit juice that coated them. Simultaneously expelling a moan so sinful it was definitely not appropriate for office hours. You doubted it was healthy for your heart.

“Yes, but you guys in the graphics team have a separate kitchen. You know, the one you took from us last year? The big fancy one?” Taehyung was still bitter about that incident. It had been his favourite break room to spend time in. The room was spacious and had more than just a few tables scattered here and there, divided by a couple of couches where employees could lounge during their break. There was also a terrace with a lot more space and a pool table. Most importantly,Taehyung’s pride and joy, a gaming room. He would get lost in there during his break, and sometimes even after work until you would come and retrieve him worried for his health.

That is where he met Jungkook, and that is where he ruined your life by introducing you to said office heartthrob. At the time your department and his rarely interacted outside of company meetings. You were working as a business analyst and he was working as a graphics developer. Your jobs could not have been more different from each other.

Truth be told, you had seen Jungkook around the building on more than one occasion. You had the chance to speak once at a company gala in a drunken haze, where you realised you had a lot of interests in common. But you only got to know him the second time you bumped into him, when Taehyung decided to introduce you two. His handshake and shy presentation told you he was too drunk to remember talking to you that night so you did not mention it either.

Once you’ve been introduced, his presence turned into one of the ones you sought out during lunch breaks, you became more aware of the rumours flying around the company. Out of all of them the ones you heard the most were about him and his love for “dining and dashing” all the women he had taken out on a date.

Normally, you wouldn’t be the person to listen to such rumours and allow them to sway your opinion of someone. But you had witnessed on one occasion how he had indeed left a woman in the middle of a restaurant and fled the scene. After that you wondered if maybe you should be more weary of him and his bad habits.

Talking to him in person was a completely different story. He seemed incredibly shy at the beginning, it took him a couple of weeks to be able to look you in the eyes. Taehyung would laugh and say it is because he had a crush on you but you doubted that. How could you believe that? Not when you lived in a world where lovers were predestined. You were born with a bond that tied you to someone else, a bond that's unbreakable. Your soulmate was made for you and only you. You could have other lovers until you found your true one, you have seen it happen on multiple occasions but once you found your soulmate and that bond was complete you couldn’t be apart from them.

Soulmates, a subject that ruined your life as soon as you became aware of it. At the age of ten you found out that all humans on this planet have a person they are meant to be with forever. A person that is yours, and only yours. At such a young age you fell in love with the concept. Fairies and princesses in the stories your parents would read you before bed, they all had their one true love. When you found out that you were meant to have one true love, a soulmate, you were beyond ecstatic. For years after, it was all you talked about and all you dreamt about. It all came crashing down when one rainy night your father had a car accident on his way home from work. The crash took a parental figure away from you. Aside from having had to deal with the pain of losing your hero, you also went through the misery of witnessing the painful heartbreak that comes with having a soulmate.

Your mother mourned for days, she could not eat or sleep, she withered right in front of your eyes. It was heartbreaking to experience your only remaining parent destroying themselves right before your eyes. You were only sixteen at the time and could not do anything to help alleviate the pain she was going through. So you helplessly stood at her side for another three years until one day, her soul finally gave up.

Her funeral was a relief for you, it meant she didn’t have to struggle anymore. The pain was gone. So, at the age of nineteen, you became an orphan.

Turning twenty and a struggling pen pusher, you met Taehyung in a cafe. You crashed into him soaking his expensive suit in coffee as you rushed out the door, late for work. Apologising profusely and promising to pay for his dry cleaning you gave him your number. That was the first time you had hit a stroke of good luck in years. Later that day, when a text came through from an unknown number you expected it to be an extortionate dry cleaning bill. Instead all that was written was: ‘Coffee’s on me next time (not literally though) haha.’ You couldn’t help but laugh, he gave you a place and time and signed it with Taehyung. That had been the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

For the first few years of your friendship you’d wondered if he was your soulmate; and so, despite your aversion to the concept, you two started dating. It was difficult not to like him, he was good looking and you two seemed to have a lot in common. It didn’t help that the sex was also great, you had to admit he knew what he was doing. But after one too many nights of netflix and takeaways at his apartment, which ended in his bed, you both decided that you were not the one for each other. So, two years into your relationship you separated. Fortunately, the friendship you two forged remained, your bond stronger than before. At the age of twenty three, you moved in together as housemates. It was the most logical thing to do, you were attached at the hip anyway and rent was too expensive for a single person to bear. Twenty four came and went, stressed and always low on money, when luck struck you for a second time the day Taehyung told you a position had opened in his team. You decided to apply and rejoiced when you got the job offer. That night you and Taehyung celebrated with pizza and champagne.

Here you are three years later having worked in the same company, being promoted from a trainee to a junior business analyst, and life couldn’t have been better.

There was one thing that bothered you, and that was the strange taste in your mouth that you had begun to notice. At first it was so faint that you didn’t notice it. As time passed, it got stronger and stronger, until you could not ignore the slight tangy, sweet taste that lingered on the tip of your tongue. It wasn’t a bad taste, in fact you quite liked it. You were just annoyed at the fact that you could not place it. You tried multiple foods which you thought may have a similar taste but none of them satisfied that craving. You hid this information from Taehyung for a while, not wanting to make a big fuss out of it until the day he found you rummaging through the fridge mumbling to yourself.

“What are you doing Y/N?” he stood in the doorway confused as to why your head was buried deep into the fridge. You jumped not having heard him move into the kitchen and looked at him in surprise. The sight that greeted him was something he was not expecting. The hilarity of your wide eyed expression paired with the cheeks stuffed full of cherries made him double over in laughter.

Mumbling something akin to “stop laughing at me, i had a craving” you stood up and walked to the table dejectedly plopping yourself down on a chair. Taehyung sobered immediately noticing the forlorn expression on your face and whilst still wiping the tears from his eyes he approached you and sat down. “What’s up chipmunk?” he could not resist making a jab at you. Sighing you started picking at a stray thread off your sleeve. You decided it was time to tell him what has been bothering you for months, despite fearing his judgement.

“Have you ever had cravings?” you turn to look at him, your expression so innocent that he could not make fun of you for such a trivial question. “Of course I have! All the damn time” he scoffed at you.

“No, no what I mean is; have you ever had a taste at the tip of your tongue, on your lips something that isn’t what you have eaten that day, but it is there continuously lingering in your mouth?” the more you were explaining this out loud the stupider you felt. Your own words were confusing even to you. But it seemed like Taehyung knew what you meant because in an instant he jumped up from his seat and looked at you wide eyed.

“Y/N!” the grin on his face intensified. “Do you know what this means?” he grabbed your shoulders in excitement. “It means that you have found your soulmate!” your eyes widened in fear, your body stiffened under his hold. Realising what he’d said, and how you felt about soulmates he backtracked quickly. “Nonono, it means you are close to finding your soulmate. It means you have met them at last!” When your frozen body refused to move he realised that maybe that was not the best way to phrase it either. But the damage has already been done. Wide eyed, you flew off the chair and rushed out of the kitchen towards your own room, slamming the door in the process.

You called in sick the next day, and the day after, not leaving your room until you were certain Taehyung had left for work. He tried on multiple occasions to coax you out of your room, but to no avail. You stubbornly refused to acknowledge him. Mulling over your thoughts in the comfort of your room, conflicted at the realisation that he was right. You had met your soulmate, just not completed the bond yet.

“Y/N, are you ok?” the worry in his voice broke your heart, but you were too absorbed in your own thoughts to respond to him.

Memories of your parents, together and apart, thoughts of your mother and her suffering, memories of you together as a happy family all swirling around in your head. It was all too much to bear, and in the end your brain gave up exhausted, only to wake up the next day and start all over again. For a week you stayed in your room, but when Taehyung decided that enough was enough he formulated a plan in his head hoping it would get you out of your room. If you refused to come out for him, he would have to resort to other methods. He would invite people over, he knew you would not be able to resist the temptation of being a good host. So that day he called your colleague and his friend, Jungkook.

Later on that night, you laid in bed, thoughts ruminating through your head at a fast pace when you heard voices from the entrance. You could easily recognise Taehyung’s voice, the low timbre echoing through the house. It was the second voice that you could not pinpoint, and so, intrigued you got off the bed.

Your joints ached, having sat in the same position for so long and your head hurt from exhaustion. You knew you probably looked like a mess but curiosity was eating at your insides. So you took the chance and opened the door slightly trying to peek into the corridor. Unfortunately, your room was the first along the corridor, right around the corner from the kitchen. The kitchen where Taehyung and his mysterious companion were now exiting from. Your delayed reaction ended up with them coming around the corner almost bumping into you. Gasping, your eyes took in the unknown person whose voice drew you out of your miserable state.

“Jungkook '' you yelped. Startled at the intrusion, you slammed the door in their faces, your back now leaning against the door. You didn’t ponder too much on Jungkook’s shocked expression or Taehyung’s pleased one. Your heart was pounding, and for a second the blood rush from the adrenaline made your ears ring and your lips tingle. You were so focused on your embarrassment that you didn’t even notice the lingering sweet taste residing on your tongue.

Sliding against the door to keep yourself from falling you tried to regulate your heartbeat by taking a few deep breaths in. After a few moments, your eyes opened and took in the darkness of your room. Deciding that you were calm enough you got up, your legs slightly wobbly from crouching for so long. Turning on the light you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was in disarray, your skin looked dull and the red that rimmed your eyes accentuated the eyebags under them. Grimacing at your appearance, you patted your hair trying to make it look more presentable only to give up after a few minutes. Throwing another worried glance at your door, as if you were expecting the boys to barge in at any moment, you contemplated going out there. You sighed deciding that you didn’t care if Jungkook would think you were impolite, you were not ready to face the world.

For the next couple of hours you tried to distract yourself from your thoughts accompanied by the loud hollers coming from the living room where the boys were playing video games. Too absorbed in your own thoughts you didn’t realise how late it had gotten, the rumbling of your stomach waking you up from your trance.

Opening the door you listened intently but there were no sounds coming from the living room. You assumed the boys had finally fallen asleep do as quietly as you could you tiptoed to the kitchen. The corridor was dark, the only light coming from the TV in the living room where you assumed the boys had passed out. Turning on the light in the kitchen you contemplated stealing Taehyung’s last pack of ramen when a voice from behind startled you.

“What are you doing?” you yelped, not having expected to have company.

Jungkook stood in the middle of the doorway, his eyes bleary with sleep, his hair poofed up and judging by the groggy voice, still half asleep. You tried to ignore the way your heart somersaulted at the sight of his messy hair, the way his hooded eyes were blinking sleepily at you and the way his small yawn made him resemble a rabbit. He was adorable and for a second you entertained the thought of telling him that.

“Food” was all you finally replied, secretly trying to fix your messy appearance. Jungkook hummed in acknowledgment. You looked away trying to ignore his eyes on you. The silence that followed was awkward, neither of you knew what to say. “Uh, I don’t know if that rascal fed you but uh….would you like some ramen?” you stuttered trying to break the awkwardness. His stomach growled as if prepared for your question. You stared at him in shock for a couple of seconds before you burst into laughter.

Jungkook smiled at you bashfully, too embarrassed to respond so you took it upon yourself and pulled another chair out for him to sit in.

The silence that ensued was comforting, neither you nor Jungkook feeling the need to interrupt it with small talk. You observed amusedly the way his eyes seemed to lighten up at the sight of food, the way the corner of them would crinkle in excitement and the small satisfied sounds at the food gracing his taste buds was something you found adorable.

The feeling of contentment that enveloped you was entirely new. As the calmness washed over you, you realised it felt like coming home. Not knowing what to make of it you continued to stare at Jungkook, hoping that the answers were hidden somewhere in his smile. Catching you stare at him mid bite Jungkook stopped and tilted his head in confusion.

“Is there something on my face?” realising you were staring at him for a bit too long you squeaked in embarrassment.

“Ah, no no no I was just lost in thought.” Hoping he would buy that excuse, you offered him a bright smile.

Jungkook had known you were staring at him, and for a brief second, along with the spiciness of the noodles burning his tongue, he felt something smoky intertwine. He wondered if it was the food, but the taste was too distinct. In an instant he could place it, the taste of cigarettes. It was faint but he recognised instantly that ashy fragrance. He wondered if his soulmate was a smoker and if so why would the taste bother him now?

He found out about the soulmate connection years ago and how he was meant to figure out which person was meant for him. Meeting your soulmate was supposed to trigger a taste that was only attributed to them. His trigger happened a few years ago when he started working for the company. To say he was excited was an understatement. He has dreamt of meeting his soulmate for so long and to know that they were in proximity was exhilarating.

In his naive search for them he decided to accept all the requests he has gotten from his colleagues to go on dates. Unfortunately for him, he realised too late that it was not the way to find the one that was meant to be for you. Just like the concept of a soulmate, if it was meant to happen, it would happen. He realised too late and after too many failed dates that he could not rush the process. So he stopped trying. Until that one day when he saw you on the roof of the building, during lunch time. You had no idea that you were not alone, had you been aware of that fact you may have not gotten out your pack of cigarettes. Jungkook could tell by the way your foot tapped the ground impatiently and the way your hands kept grabbing at your hair that you were stressed. He sat in silence not wanting to disturb you as you seemed to be hyping yourself up about something. You didn’t interact that day, but in his head he knew he had found you. The taste of cigarettes on his lips was as strong as the smell wafting through the air.

Normally he would not have been happy about someone who smoked in his vicinity, the harsh smell causing his nose to tingle in an unpleasant fashion. Watching you stress smoke that cigarette with the knowledge that you were his soulmate he found himself unbothered by that knowledge. He knew who you were, your mutual friend being Taehyung. He had introduced you two as soon as you started working for the company.

He will always remember that specific moment, the time when you smiled shyly at him extending your hand. He felt an unusual warmth all throughout his body, but he didn’t realise at the time it was your soulmate bond tying itself together like the ends of two loose strings.

He tried with all his might to figure out whether or not you had the faintest idea about your soulmate connection and for a few months he would insist on taking his break on the floor below just so he could spend time with you. Your lack of interest towards him and his advances told him that you were oblivious. You weren’t treating him differently than you would treat Taehyung and for a while he questioned himself. What if he had been wrong? Instead of keeping up appearances, he let himself slip into the friend's mould. If he had been wrong then it would spare him the embarrassment, if he hadn’t been wrong then it would do him no harm to be friends first.

The memories still fresh in his mind he knew now that you were his soulmate. Still a bit tipsy from the wine he had shared with Taehyung earlier he plucked up the courage and jokingly asked, “Is it because I am handsome?” The shocked look on your face and the silence that ensued were far from comfortable. Slowly Jungkook could feel the heat of the blood rushing to his face and he tried his best to hide his embarrassment with a cough. “I mean-“

At the sight of his wide eyes and red cheeks you started chuckling, not being able to hold your composure for any longer. “It was bad, but you’re adorable.” This time your face turned beet red. You both looked at each other like deer caught into headlights for a few moments, only to dissolve into laughter once again.

That night you talked to Jungkook as if he was an old friend. It felt comfortable to share stories with him, to laugh and to make jokes. It felt good to be out of your head for once. The worries that had plagued your mind completely dissolved in between the laughter and the wine that you were sharing.

At some point during the night you both moved into the corridor in front of your room, both sat on the floor, your back leaning against the wall. Passing the wine bottle in between the two of you the conversation carried on into the darkness of the corridor. The only available source of light coming from the kitchen dimly lighting both of your faces, casting shadows across the floor. You didn’t know when you got so close to him, your skin prickling at the heat emanating from his body. Or when your head dropped onto his broad shoulder, your eyes fluttering, heavy with sleep.

“Y/N” Jungkook whispered and you hummed in response. The familiarity of the scene made him smile. You looked adorable, cuddled into his side, your eyes laden with sleep.

“What if I were to tell you I found my soulmate?” His voice was fearful but his heart was hopeful.

Wide awake now, your head snapped up. “What?”

Even though it was meant to be a whisper your voice reverberated through the corridor. Gasping you stopped to listen for any signs of Taehyung waking up. When the corridor stayed silent you breathed a sigh of relief and cleared your throat. “What?” you looked alarmed at Jungkook.

“Is it that bad? That I found my soulmate?” he looked wounded and you quickly tried to clarify. “Nonono, definitely not bad, just...i am surprised” you looked hesitant. You didn’t know what to make of that information, on one hand you wanted to be happy for him. Not everyone thought like you about the soulmate bond. On the other hand you couldn’t fathom the idea that he may have found his intended love in life. The pain blossomed in your chest and you readily assumed the reason behind that being your aversion towards the concept.

“But what if….” Jungkook stopped. He looked unsure of himself and something pulled at your heartstrings. In an attempt to comfort him you placed your hand on his grasping it gently.

“What if, the soulmate doesn’t want me” he tried again, his voice meek. You gave him a sympathetic look, in a way you could relate to his worries. “There is no way your soulmate wouldn’t want you” you tried to ease his worries, your hand subconsciously tightening its grip on his. Jungkook didn’t respond looking lost in thought and for a moment you thought you had said the wrong thing when you felt his fingers intertwined with yours. The feel of his warmth combined with the softness of his hands cause butterflies to erupt in your stomach. The feeling so foreign to you, but not unwelcome.

“But what if I said my soulmate was you?” he tried again, his grip tightening, as if he was afraid you might slip through his fingers. Your heart stopped, your mind trying to catch up with his words. Taking the risk, Jungkook slowly cupped your face. Leaning towards you until your lips were only one whisper away he stopped. His warm breath fanning over your face, it smelt sweet, tangy. Before you could process your thoughts bumped his lips onto yours in a timid touch. Once, twice, three times, his lips ghosted over yours.

You could not react, the surprise from his confession still wrecking havoc through your body. Your eyes fluttered closed as you felt his soft lips touch yours with a bit more conviction. You almost allowed yourself to melt into the kiss a small moan leaving the back of your throat. He tasted sweet, just like...you could not place the taste, and yet it seemed so familiar.

You jolted out of the trance pulling away from him entirely, almost sliding yourself on the opposite side of the corridor. Like a deer in headlights you observed his every move, ready to flee the scene if he got too close to you. “Y/N”, Jungkook tried to reach a hand towards you. You flinched away from him and he halted. You looked scared of him. He could feel his heart break in two at the sight of your distress.

“Y/N” he tried again but you would not have it. You were unable to listen to any reasoning, your fight or flight reaction at an all time high. “Please go” you managed to utter.

When he tried to approach you again you let out a sob, the emotions of your revelations catching up with you. “Please” you pleaded, looking at him in despair. Jungkook’s heart dropped. The look on your face told him you wanted him gone, and as much as it hurt him he would listen to you.

Giving you one last pained look he turned around on his heels and walked down the corridor, swallowed by the darkness of the apartment. When with a click of the front door you knew he was gone, and you broke down in tears.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Taehyung, fully awake, having heard the front door close and your sobs echoing through the apartment, rushed to your side.

“I fucked up” was the only thing you could mutter over and over again. Taehyung was confused. Looking around him trying to find something that may indicate the reason for your cries, he spotted the wine bottle by your leg. Alarmed, he picked it up. “Fresh notes of strawberries”....

“Y/N are you daft? This has strawberries in it!” he tried to pry your hands away from your face to check for any signs of swelling. Your incessant cries lessened at that. Taehyung could barely discern what you were saying and so instead, he hugged you tightly to his chest letting you cry it out.

“I think I know the taste that has been bugging me” a couple of days after that night, you were in the break room with Taehyung prepared to have your lunch break. You had been successful at avoiding Jungkook, and you had a strong suspicion that he had stayed out of your way on purpose. That lessened your worries, you didn’t know if you would be able to confront him about what had transpired between the two of you.

“Really? What, when and how?” you could tell Taehyung was trying to hide his excitement underneath his grin. You refused to give him more information on the subject, not yet ready to talk about it. But if you underestimated something, it was his ability to put two and two together. “Is it Jungkook?” you stopped dead in your tracks, your heartbeat picking up the pace. At your reaction Taehyung almost grinned, he was happy his two friends had discovered each other. His grin faltered at something behind you.

You tried denying it, telling him he was mistaken. but with the sweet taste of strawberries lingering on your lips, even you knew that there was no mistake.

“Uhh, Y/N, I have to rush, I forgot that I needed to send some documents over” he quickly got up and rushed out of the room. Your bewildered eyes followed his retreat only to come across the man that had just entered the break room. You gasped at the sight of his athletic frame dressed in the dark coloured suit he normally wore for work. He looked handsome.

“Jungkook” you acknowledged him with a nod. He stood there looking at you for a moment, a strange look on his face as if he was prepared to say something but then changed his mind at the last minute. Instead he mirrored your nod and headed towards the coffee machine.

He passed by you in an attempt to reach for the pods that were on the table behind you. To get to them he had to step around your still body. You could not move, still in a daze, your lips tingling from the kiss you two have shared earlier. Your hands were trembling and you tried your hardest to stay calm and not give away the mixed feelings raging through your body. You cleared your throat and looked away in an attempt to hide your blushing face from him. Jungkook took you in silently, he didn’t know what to make of your reaction. Earlier when he had kissed you, your lips moulding together, you pressed tightly against his form, hands raking through his hair. You seemed to be reciprocating the feeling but now, when you were acting like a deer caught in headlights, he was not so sure of himself anymore.

Cautiously he approached you, his gaze unfaltering, he was afraid that if he stepped over the line you would run away from him again. He didn’t know if his heart could take it.

He couldn’t imagine that if you’d figured it out you’d react to him like this. He was waiting for you to realise it was him. However, the blank look on your face and your stiff posture told him otherwise. The soulmate connection urged him to take you in his arms and take the pain away, to make it better. But you didn’t know yet it was him, and he debated whether or not he should tell you. His heart lurched in pain, he didn’t know how to approach the issue. Knowing himself he’d make a stupid comment which would drive you further away. So he settled for actions rather than words.

It felt like an eternity until he reached you, toe to toe, his hand hesitantly cupped your face. You couldn’t move, your breath coming into short pants, your heart flipping inside your chest. For a second you feared you would faint, but the warm touch of his hand kept you grounded and so you focused on that. Closing your eyes you leaned your head onto his hand soaking up the comfort. Even though you were apprehensive about Jungkook and your connection, he has been nothing but kind and understanding to you. His awkward demeanour paired with his confident looks, an endearing combination in your eyes. After that night you two spent together in the corridor of your apartment you understood very well why most women in your company fell in love with him. What you didn’t understand though, was why he would break their hearts like that. Thinking about the rumours once again your eyes snapped open and you pushed his hand away.

“Jungkook,” you cleared your throat. You needed to get your feelings off your chest otherwise you would implode. You wanted to make sure you were both on the same page. You didn’t want to end up heartbroken like any of the other women in the office. Your stomach lurched at that, the thought of him rejecting you like he did those women sending shooting pains through your whole body.

Jungkook’s hands stayed a few centimeters away from your face, his face morphing into anguish. But as soon as it appeared, it was instantly gone, replaced by a smile, the same heartfelt smile he gave you the day you met. The day you had signed your fate. The day the taste of what you could place now as strawberries had invaded your tastebuds. He waited for you to say something, he was not going to push you, but his gentle eyes told you he was going to listen to whatever you decided to tell him. Taking a deep breath in you decided to continue.

“I- am not sure how to put this into words, so I am going to just come out with it.” tears pooled into your eyes at the thought of what you were going to say. He nodded but you could tell he was anxious by the way his hand helplessly dropped to his side and started fiddling with his pants. You blinked the tears away but they just kept coming leaving a hot trail down your face. The pain of losing your parents resurfacing at the memories flooding your head.

“My parents, they uh, died” you stumbled over your words, finding it very difficult to get a grasp over your emotions. You took Jungkook’s silence as a sign to carry on, “my dad passed away in a car accident, after that, my mother she uh” a sob wrecked through your body and you couldn’t carry on. Watching as your whole body broke down in front of him Jungkook decided to throw caution out the window and steadily wrapped his arms around you. In an instant you relaxed, the warmth and the comfort provided by your soulmate embracing you calmed you down enough for you to carry on with your story.

“My mother, she died heartbroken three years after my father” you sniffled embarrassed at the snot you could see on his shirt. Trying to pull yourself away from him you found yourself nose to chest with him as he tightened his grip on you. You didn’t have the strength to fight against his hold.

“Jungkook,” you pleaded, slumping against him, your forehead resting on his warm chest. In that position you could hear his heartbeat, the strong thump reverberating through you. The knowledge that you were about to break that rhythm pained you. “I don’t want to have a soulmate.” A fresh wave of tears soaked through his shirt. Jungkook felt as if your sobs had not only penetrated the material but also his heart, the coldness that gripped him rendering him speechless.

Despite the unbearable ache that your words have caused him, he remembered that you were also suffering. He decided that his pain was irrelevant to yours, the soulmate bond that forged between the two of you pushing him to alleviate your sorrow and forget about his own.

“Y/N” his voice sounded foreign to him, the anguish seeping through. He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on you, trapping your arms in between the two of you. You knew you were being selfish, your hard words chipping away at his heart. Despite that he was being patient and understanding, lending you the last of his strength. “Don’t, please” was his last attempt at asking you not to crush him. A plea followed by a soft kiss on the top of your head, his own tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

His words pierced through you, a heavy feeling settling in your chest. It felt as if someone had placed a weighted lead over your heart. Your mind was fighting against the soul’s desire to mould together as one, to form that bond fully. But by doing so, you were fighting against the laws of the soulmate connection, the broken promise of being together forever caused you to feel agony like never before. Desperate, you managed to free your hands and wrap them around him, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back in an attempt to steady yourself. You let the pain course through you, letting Jungkook’s soft cries in your hair be a reminder of your self-serving fears. His breath was hot on the crown of your hair, his breath coming out in broken gasps and you finally understood.

This is what your mother had experienced. This is the pain she must have gone through when your father was gone. Only, you were voluntarily putting yourself and him through it.

You felt despicable, but most importantly, you were terrified. Thoughts running through your head, scenarios in which you and him were bonded and living a happy life, only for it to be swept from under you. You didn’t think you could bear that, but you knew that what you were doing now was not right either. There was no such thing as a bandaid when it came to a soulmate bond. You would suffer forever and it never got easier.

“Y/N, please talk to me.” Jungkook’s voice wavered but his tears had stopped. He was doing his best to stay strong for you. Burying your head into his inviting shoulder you inhaled his scent, it was something sweet. Sweet like that night when you kissed, that significant night when you realised he was yours and you were his. Trying to recall the happiness that you felt when you two kissed you whispered, “I’m afraid.”

Jungkook had never felt more helpless. Hearing you admit this felt even more painful than you rejecting the soulmate bond. He could do very little to alleviate your worries, he couldn’t promise you forever because he himself had no power over the future, but he could promise you that he would try his best to be there until it wasn’t possible anymore.

“I can’t promise you that we will last forever, but I can promise you that as long as we are alive and have a forever to fight for I will do my best to reach it” his soft words brushed through your hair, the hand on your back tightening its hold. Fresh tears spilled from your eyes, the hot trail competing with the warmth that was growing in your chest. His words were not enough to alleviate your worries, but they were enough to pacify the inner battle between your soul and your heart.

“Hey,” he gently grabbed your shoulders, breaking your hold on him. With some distance now in between the two of you, it was easier to look at him. Your heart broke at the sight of the tears silently running down his face, a contrast to the small reassuring smile he was offering you. If not for the pain in his eyes you would have thought he was crying for you only. However, his eyes spoke of agony for two. The relationship that was meant to be, the relationship that your souls craved and you had power over. The understanding encouragement he was offering told you that he would take whatever you decided. If your decision was to not pursue this, he would accept it and never question it. With this in mind you took a deep breath in, your hands hesitantly reaching out and wiping away at the trail of tears.

“I am afraid” you stopped glancing away from him for a split second. Jungkook’s breath caught in his throat anticipating your next words. You had the power to make him or break him, his heart in your hands. With your next exhale, you let all your worries out, your stance visibly relaxing.

“But I am not afraid to fight for a future forever, with you.”

Main Masterlist

[bitty-bits]

Back In Action

DALL-E 2 Background (Prompt: Dreamy background painting with a checkered pattern grass and blue mountains in the distance), Emojis made for the SineTri Discord. Join us!

After a few months, I'm finally back doing this thing.

I'm back here probably cuz I do have a lot more to say than last time. Tumblr's embeds of posts don't seem to be very good, I've noticed. Oh well. Again you'll likely see me on that dreaded hellsite a lot more than here, but I'll still try to write here to maintain a tradition, and hopefully I won't be gone for too long again. Anyways here's what I've been doing lately.

New Computer

Yeah!

Without giving away too much details as for how this happened, I indeed have a new computer (notebook, specifically, as I've been used to the form factor my whole life, probably) and probably the first time it is almost on par with the latest high end specs, and, no memes, it has an RTX graphics card. What else can I say about it... well, using it so far has been a positive experience for the most part, my only complaint would be how "not good" the trackpad is. Cuz you know, I actually got used to drawing with the trackpad (believe it or not) on my previous notebook, which is still a pretty good notebook that still works and can still do a lot (I was able to play and beat Super Mario 3D World emulated on it at almost full speed, so I think that says something) so I hope whoever uses it next makes a good use out of it. I'd say outside of being "mid" (that's the Funny Word Them Kid's These Dayz R Usein' Right) its only problem is its battery doesn't really work anymore so it'll only work while plugged in, which is probably completely my fault, so I'm hoping to avoid this issue on the new computer. (Tip: There's an useful VBScript you can get and put it on Windows' "startup programs" folder that will show a message whenever your battery is close to 100% charge. Google it!)

Trackpad issues aside, I still have a standard optical mouse to use, but even then, It's still gonna take getting used to... using one again. I'm weird.

Cut it Out, Ninjin! - Preservation Efforts (Post-Warner Bros. Discovery Fiasco Update)

With all the clownery going down lately with the Warner Bros. + Discovery merger, the Ninjin cartoon series (my biggest "brainrot" of the year pretty much) unfortunately also fell victim to the "great cartoon purge" that happened as a result of WBD's terrible (and inefficient) cost cutting decisions. Fortunately, the timing for me to get into this series couldn't have been better, and at least the show staff got to finish a season right before the shitstorm, so finished material didn't go unreleased. That said we can only hope the series somehow makes a comeback or is revived in some form, as at least Warner doesn't own the Ninjin IP (as far as I'm aware).

With the series gone from HBO Max, YouTube and all of Cartoon Network itself (though not without a few exceptions still left here and there), it's important to remember that preservation is a must, and something to keep in mind from start to end in any project. Here's what a staff member at Birdo studio had to say on the matter (Portuguese):

for those who work on animated shows, for the love of god, don't forget to always keep a copy of the final versions of your scenes/episodes downloaded (and if you're the director, back up the entire series) cuz if we just rely on the son of a bitch companies and channels everything will be gone then we won't even be able to assemble an animation reel / portfolio afterwards

As I have shared in the first blog post, I have made an archive of pretty much all the CN Ninjin content that I could find, on a MEGA folder, which I've recently updated in light of the unfortunate news - Every episode is now available as MKV (Matroska Video) files with multiple audio channels (Original Portuguese, as well as the Spanish and English dubs!) which I plan to later still update to have English fansubs done by yours truly (So you don't have to stick to the... not very amazing English dub), you will also find the shorts (which I've already given subtitles!) and some comics too, which I still gotta translate.

I'll also make extra links for easier sharing soon.

We can't let the big corporations win again as they usually do.

You can buy Ninjin: Clash of Carrots (the game the series was based on!) on Steam here, and Pocket Trap's latest game, Dodgeball Academia, here!

Let's try to keep Ninjin alive. Please.

Do it for her.

Calimero Subtitles Project Returns

After staying stagnant for at least 2 years, interest in subtitling Calimero's 1992 anime by Toei Animation (easily my favorite Calimero-related media) ressurged. Likely due to me... having figured out what an MKV file even is and what it can have, as well as coming across what is now my favorite software for subtitle making in general, SubtitleEdit (Not very creative, I know), and learning about the more advanced, fancy subtitle formats a good chunk of anime (fan)subs use. Also the project expanded a little; it's gonna be more than just the subtitles over a single specific dub of the anime, actually it'll have most of the dubs ever made of the show that can be found. A lot of audio tracks in still considerably small files! I sure do love me some Matroska files. The current plan is for me to subtitle the first half of the series (26 episodes, "season 1", if you will) all by myself, while the second half is a bit tricky, as only the German, Italian and Arabic dubs have the entire series found. But I already have a German friend willing to help with those, and there are also a couple episodes from the second half in the original Japanese version found, so if you're fluent in any of these languages and are interested in helping out, feel free to tell me! Once the project is finished we will finally have one convenient place to watch this series, in a variety of language dubs, and English subs, and hopefully more people in the West will acquire interest for it.

My Channel for posting Video Game Music, CalimeroVGM on YouTube

Not "high quality rips" in the SiivaGunner sense, but actual VGM that either can't be found on YouTube elsewhere, or if it can be, the quality kinda sucks, or it's in a video with other tracks. I may have done a lot for SiivaGunner, and continue to do "high quality ripping" over on my music channel (ples suscribe), but I also have been contributing a lot to actual ripping and video game music preservation in general, and decided to make a channel dedicated to it (here), so I don't have to pollute my channel of miscellaneous whatevers, Lu9.2, which is already kind of polluted. So whenever I have any new rips, or even a few "experiments" with VGM, I'll put it on this relatively new channel. I encourage you to subscribe to it at least so I can get to 100 and get a custom URL, because I just am the weird kinda guy who likes neat looking URLs.

What I've Been Playing / Watching

Just in case people would want to know, I'd probably talk about it on Twitter anyways, but let's go:

Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series

I love Klonoa. Babe, GIVE me Klonoa. Played the first game (original PS1 version) back in either 2015 or 2016, though I was already a fan for longer, but loved it. The remastered version is very charming and combines the best of both the original colorful PS1 version and the Wii remake. And with this I was finally able to experience the sequel for the first time, and again, a masterpiece. Wish they kept some of the classic UI for the first game and other minor details, but that aside, this collection needs to succeed. This franchise needs to succeed.

Lucky Star

After giving up on watching it in 2015 (I was watching the English dub and didn't know what type of anime I was even expecting, Oops) I decide to give this another shot, this time subbed. What I can say is - I enjoy. It's fun. I guess my tastes have changed over the years too.

More Stuff

Moving (Again)

Seems like I do that a lot, but hopefully it'll actually stick now. Some unexpected problems rose in the current apartment I'm in. Nothing too serious (though it's only a matter of time) but the new place will be pretty big I think. I just hope I don't lose anything during the moving process again.

Fonts For Fun

Sometimes I also try my hand at typography, mostly recreating stuff I see, and this year I've made a few (and posted some older ones I had) fonts just for the fun of it (though they probably are useful)

You can check them out here.

Where's Part 3 Of Closing Logos Extended By Jukebox AI?

Not too long ago after releasing Part 2 of my intriguing Jukebox AI series, already some of the more "peculiar" logo-obsessed (presumably) children started to "predict" Part 3, some eben by just posting what will be on Part 3, conjuring up facts, classic Greeny Phatom style. Told that guy to wait until August.

...and I really wish I could keep such promises but I really just don't find the time and energy to put into those videos, not to mention the upsampling process that I still have to put some of the samples through. Though it's less time consuming now, there's still the entire editing and visuals part. I'm doing these videos completely for free, you know. Unless you're fine with something half-baked, be patient.

Also there will be more Jukebox AI videos in general, not just the logo ones, I hope you look forward to those too.

Donald Alves' Original Flash Website Is Now A Progressive Web App

Yeah. Did this just for fun. And to see what kind of stuff I can do with PWA features in general. It's still not a full "installable" web app, but it should work as its own thing on your phone no problem. Don't know who Donald Alves is? Well, this is one of those things that you just had to be there at the time, dude.

Conclusion

That was a big one! Hopefully next post will come before Christmas. Maybe before Brazil's presidential elections too... oh god I'm scared

Bitty's Message of the Day

I do not like beans.

[13uswntimagines]

Learning to Love (Preath x Adopted Teen!Reader)

Request: could you do something where christen and Tobin adopt teenage r whose been through a lot and shows her how to accept love or something fluffy and angsty like that

Pt 2

Author’s Note: So this was really difficult for me to write for some reason. it’s also super long, but I wanted to include several learning moments. I’m going to put a warning on this for mentions of abuse, but nothing graphic. I hope you enjoy this! Send me Requests, Questions, or if you just wanna say Hi! Let me know what you think, your comments mean the world to me. 

You woke with a start, a cold sweat covering your entire body, your breathing heavy, and your brain trying to remember where you were. You clutched at the old hoodie you were wearing, pulling the collar to your nose and breathing in Tobin’s soothing scent. 

You had stolen the Thorns sweater awhile ago and never given it back. You found comfort in one of the several items that had become your own the 8 months that you had been with the women. 

You had immediately clicked with Tobin. Her overall laid back demeanor had set you at ease. Your mutual love of art always gave you talking points, whenever you actually felt like talking. But she never pushed, she was just as comfortable in silence as she was when you were conversing about art. 

It had taken you a little longer to become comfortable around Christen. She was the observant one. The one who always knew when you weren’t telling them the whole truth. The one who always pressed you to explain why you felt the way that you did, and at first that had unnerved you. She wasn’t pushy, but she had a way of getting you to open up that terrified you. 

You were like Tobin in the fact that you were never very good with words. You didn’t know how to articulate your feelings verbally, and the more… positive emotions confused you. Your parents had both been drug addicts, more interested in their respective highs than your actual wellbeing, or teaching you what affection was. You had only been removed from the home after your mother had tried to sell you to an undercover cop in exchange for drugs. You had spent the next 10 years bouncing around through the foster system, with each home only building on the scars that the last had left behind. 

Then by some miracle, you had met Christen and Tobin, who seemed determined to teach you about the happier emotions. The emotions that you didn’t understand. Hell, you had nearly jumped out of your skin the first time one of them tried to touch you. The going was slow, but it wasn’t in their nature to give up. 

You glanced at the clock, sighing at the blinking 4:40 that you found there. It was too early to be up, but you didn’t know if you could go back to sleep after your dream (memory?). You sighed, sliding out of bed and heading for the one room in the apartment that you knew could help you. The room that both women had made sure you knew was open 24/7 the moment they found out about your propensity for art. 

You were so engrossed in your project that you didn’t hear the door to Tobin’s studio open. She looked you over from the door, watching as you traced one of her canvases with a dark charcoal color. The painting before you was striking. A perfect rendition of a man's face over a cowering form. The only happy portion of the canvass was a warm red in the distance. 

“Hey kid, what ya up to?” She asked quietly, don’t her best not to startle you. You jumped anyway, dropping the paintbrush with a loud crash. 

“I’m sorry I- I-I didn’t…” you stuttered turning to face her, your cheeks very red. She held up a hand to stop you. She wanted to say that this response was unusual, but it wasn’t. Your go-to was to immediately apologize for whatever. 

“Slow down kid, we told you that you could use this room whenever you wanted,” She soothed, moving to stand beside you and rubbing soothing circles on your back. Your shoulders relaxed, and your gaze returned to your masterpiece. 

“Okay,” You breathed out. 

“It’s really good,” She said in awe, taking in the detail of the piece. Your lips twitched up slightly, and Tobin was glad you didn’t try and fight her on it. You weren’t used to complements without strings, and they were still teaching you to accept them. 

“Thanks, I couldn’t get it out of my head,” You mumbled, biting your lip, shaking your head slightly. You ran a hand through your hair, and Tobin resisted the urge to laugh when a red paint line followed the path of your hand. 

“Nightmare?” She questioned as casually as she could. Yes, she had read your file, but she wanted to hear about your experiences from you when you were ready. So far the only thing you had told them was that the man you kept drawing was father number 4. 

“Mmm,” You hummed back, tilting your head to the side. 

“You know you can always come to get me or Chris if you’re too scared to go back to sleep,” Tobin asked for what probably was the millionth time. You gave her a slight nod. People always said that but the moment you started asking for things, the moment you became more work than what you were worth, they would throw you away. 

There was a beat of silence between the two of you, and you felt the urge to finally tell her more about the painting. About why he was always so much bigger than you. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. Tobin shot you an encouraging smile. 

“Hey, you two breakfast-“Christen’s voice called out before you could divulge any secretes, before cutting itself off “whoa baby this is fantastic,” She said the second she saw the painting.

You pulled your lips into a tight line and nodded your thanks, grabbing her hand and pulling her into a hug. You buried your face in her shoulder, taking in gulps of her scent, allowing it to soothe you. She wound her arms tighter around you, running careful fingers through your hair. 

You had taken a long time to warm up to her, but you loved her cuddles, and this was a typical good morning gesture after a hard night. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Christen questioned softly, her and Tobin’s hands running circles on you back.

“Hmmm,” was your only response to her, not willing to leave your new favorite hiding spot yet. 

“You’ve told us about this part, but what’s this?” She asked, pointing to the bright spot that was a new addition to the image the women had become very familiar with. You had known this part was coming. It was part of your therapy, to explain some parts of the painting to them. It was difficult, but in the end, it helped. It made everything a little less scary. 

You but your lip in thought. Truth be told, you weren’t sure what the bright light was. 

“It’s-, I’m always trying to get to it. I know that whatever’s behind the door is… safe? That’s not the word, it’s more than that it’s… I don’t know how to explain it,” you stuttered out, furrowing your eyebrows in concentration. You were good at naming the negative emotions, but oftentimes the happy ones evaded you.“I don’t know what’s behind it, only that I need it,”  

“That’s ok baby, wanna come eat some pancakes?” Christen sent you a blinding smile, and Tobin Laughed as your face lit up. You loved pancakes. 

“Can I finish it?” You asked hesitantly. You hated leaving things half-done.  

“Yeah baby, come find us when you’re done,” Tobin nodded, patting your back before they both took their leave. 

You watched them go. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you knew they cared for you in a way you had never experienced before. 

****

Camp was an… experience, and meeting so many new people was frightening, but Tobin and Christen had kept their promise to always protect you. The team had been understanding about your aversion to touch and never pressured you to join in their shenanigans. They also gave you more people to draw. 

You sighed leaning back against the bench that was acting as your backrest, pulling your knees closer to your chest and digging your feet into the grass of the practice field. You rested the black sketchbook that had always been your companion on your knees, bringing it closer to your face. You held your pencil between your teeth, your eyes flicking between the fine lines sketched on the page and the two women who were depicted. You were sure that the realistic picture was almost done, but something was missing. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. 

“What ya go there kiddo,” Christen asked, stopping several feet away from you and gesturing to the space beside you. You sent her a careful nod, and she sat down a few feet away from you on the turf. 

That was one thing that you appreciated about the women, they always came down to your level to make you feel more comfortable.

“It’s Becky and Alyssa, but something’s not right,” You mumbled, scooting closer to the woman, who smiled softly at you. 

“I’m not a sketch artist, but I could check it out if you want,” She offered, bringing her hand up to rub your back. Her smile widened when you didn’t immediately flinch away at the contact.

 It was a slow process, but little by little they were showing you how nice human touch could be. You loved morning cuddles, but you only liked touches that you initiated. You bit your lip in thought and sent the woman a very tiny nod, before carefully sliding over the book. A small gasp left her lips when eyes landed in the pencil sketch.

“This is incredible,” Christen said in awe, her fingers running lightly over the near-perfect replicas of her teammates. You shrugged, your eyebrows furrowing. 

“Something’s missing, but I don’t know what. Like it doesn’t feel right,” You murmured, glaring at the sketch in frustration. The picture was missing the key element that would make it come to life on the page. You didn’t know what it was, so how could you add it?

Christen glanced up at you. You rested your chin on your knees, hugging your legs, knowing that there would be no way of completely getting out of this conversation. You didn’t typically bring up your feelings, and Christen wasn’t one to let that go. 

“Why doesn’t it feel right?” She questioned softly, bringing her hand up to gently smooth out the wrinkles in your forehead, and run her thumb down your cheek. You sighed and tilted your head into her hand just slightly. 

“It’s just…” you stuttered, trying to find the words to describe the women. It wasn’t just one thing. It was how their bodies always seemed connected, even from across the field. How their eyes always seemed to be on each other. How they touched each other with such care. “The way they’re so… drawn to each other.” You finished after a few seconds, shaking your head. It was so much more than that. It was an extremely deep connection that went beyond simple care. “I don’t understand how…” You trailed off, pinching your space between your eyes. 

Your sketch was missing the connection between the two. The ease they clearly felt with each other. The amount they… cared. 

“They love each other,” Christen responded gently, watching your reaction very carefully. Your lips formed an even tighter line. Your childhood had shown you that love didn’t exist, but the thing between the women was so defined. So alive and vivid. Could it be love?

“Hmm,” you hummed, pulling the book back towards you, scratching behind your ear. Maybe it was love. 

Tobin watched you from afar, her lips quirking up at how well you were doing with Chris. 

“She’s a little shy, but she seems to be doing ok with all of us,” Ash mumbled, standing beside her and watching your interaction. 

“Kid has had it rough,” Tobin husked out. How someone could treat a child the way you were treated, she would never understand. Hell, you had been removed from one of the foster homes for suspected poisoning, and you were petrified to eat anything you didn’t open yourself. Your file was as almost as tall as a toddler, and she wondered how you had slipped through the system for so long. 

“We don’t doubt that,” Ali said gently, rubbing Tobin’s shoulder in a soothing fashions 

“She seems pretty close to Chris though,” Ashlyn smiled when you leaned into Christen’s hand, the comfort you took from the contact obvious from the look on your face. 

“Sometimes,” Tobin shrugged. It was odd. There were moments where you were completely open with them, and then two seconds later you would throw all your wall up again. 

“She draws a lot,” Kelley pointed out, joining the three women in their observation of you. 

“It’s the only way she knows how to express herself,” Tobin hummed shrugging. 

“That’s not surprising,” Kelley said, and all the women turned to look at her. 

“she was probably punished for showing any emotions at all,” Ash added with a thoughtful look on her face, and Tobin nodded. She had seen the scars, both physical and mental. Though you hadn’t unpacked them all with them, it would be impossible to hide the marks that would be with you for the rest of your life. It was also something your therapist had told them both in the beginning. 

“All I know is that it gives us a way to start that conversation without making her too uncomfortable” Tobin shrugged. It was true, you wouldn’t tell them what was bothering you until it was drawn on a page. It was your process and that was ok. They were showing you that feelings were ok. “She’s come a hell of a long way,”

****

Your eyes traced the faces sketched upon the page, your eyebrows furrowing because there was something yet again missing. Your dinner sat untouched on the plate in front of you, as you were far too focused on your drawing of the two blond women. 

You felt the presence behind you before you saw her, and you didn’t mind. Yes, Emily was a little hyper, but she was funny and sweet, and you had known her and Lindsey longer than you had known most of the other women. You had gotten to know them on the many times you had accompanied you m-. Tobin. The many times you had accompanied Tobin to practice. The same went for Kelley. 

“Holy shit! Tobs was right, you do have some skill!” She exclaimed, placing two hands on your shoulders. You jumped at the contact, squeezing your eyes shut, dropping your sketchbook on the table with a thump. The noise lost in the general chatter in the room (though Tobin and Christen did send you a worried look from where they were talking with Alex and Kelley.)

“Disonny, remember we had this talk?” Lindsey said as she appeared on your other side, sending Emily a disdainful look. The women knew that you didn’t like surprise touches, it was one of the many rules that Tobin and Chris had given them. 

“Oh, right. Sorry kid. But like that drawing is fire,” Emily jumped back quickly, sending you a regretful look. She pointed to the chairs next to you, and you nodded with a small smile. 

“It’s not right…” You murmured, returning your attention to the drawing, biting your lip. 

“What do you mean, it looks just like us?” Lindsey asked, leaning forward to get a better look at the picture of her and Emily. You had drawn it during the tactics meeting. There was just something about the way Lindsey’s hand was placed in Emily’s back, and how Emily was watching her instead of Vlatko that had been irresistible to you. 

“It’s missing something,” You grumbled shaking your head. You missed the glance that the two women shared. They knew that Chris and Tobin were trying to teach you to open up about your feelings. 

“Like what?” Lindsey asked carefully. Placing a gentle hand on your back and rubbing soothing circles like she had seen Christen do about a million times. 

“It’s something about the eyes. They get this glint when you look at each other,” You said, turning to the two women. Your hands moved animatedly as you tried to explain the thing that you knew was missing. The thing that you didn’t have a name for, but you could see clear as day. The thing that you just couldn’t capture on paper. 

“It’s because we love each other,” Emily explained as gently as she could, and you tensed. As far as you were concerned, love was a myth. A thing people used to give others hope or to justify their despicable actions. Dads 3 and 9 had proved that to you with their twisted definitions, and all of the families that had packed you up and shipped you off had destroyed any understanding of the concept. To think that someone would have such a deep level of care for another, only expecting the same in return was mind-boggling to you. 

“Love doesn’t exist,” You huffed, turning away from Emily’s kind eyes, and running a frustrated hand through your hair. The women resisted the urge to sigh. This wasn’t an uncommon occupancy, but your absolute denial was still a little disheartening, as everyone was doing their damndest to show you differently. 

“You’re allowed to feel that way, but I’m going to disagree with you,” Lindsey murmured, carefully untangling your hand from your hair and holding it in her own. You tended to take out your frustrations on yourself. A habit, among many others, that the women were working to break. 

“How do you know you love her and not something else?” You questioned, staring at the two women. The let your challenging tone roll off of them. They knew you had some deep-seated beliefs and that it took time to change them. 

“I care for Lindsey so deeply that I would do anything for her,” Emily started, grabbing her girlfriends hand and looking at her with so much devotion it almost took your breath away. 

“I always want to be around Emily. I want to protect her and make her feel better when she’s sad,” Lindsey finished, an equally adoring glint in her eyes. What you would give to be able to capture those looks perfectly on paper. Do be able to do that look justice. 

“I don’t, I just-,” You stuttered, your eyebrows furrowing. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to figure out what you were trying to say. Tobin and Christen were always trying to make you feel welcome to make you feel better. Could that be what they meant? “She makes you feel safe?” You asked hesitantly. 

“The safest I’ve ever felt,” Lindsey said solemnly, and Emily nodded her agreement. You glanced over to the table where Christen was sending you a questioning smile. You smiled back. 

Lindsey and Emily shared another look, realizing that your doubts about love had nothing to do with them, but were instead about how you were feeling about your moms. 

“That’s how they make me feel,” You mumbled, looking down, almost ashamed. Tobin and Christen had done nothing but try and get you to open up to them. To make you feel safe and comfortable, and you couldn’t get a grip and call them Mom or tell them that you cared about (loved?) them. 

“For the record, they have the same glint when they look at you,” Lindsey whispered into your ear, pulling you into a hug. You gave her a tiny, not quite believing nod. You wanted to believe her, but how could anyone love a messed up 13-year-old like you?

****

You woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in your hotel room bed. Your heart was racing so fast that you thought it might beat right out of your chest. You clenched your eyes shut in an attempt to rid the images out of your mind. To rid the smell of his breath, that evil glint in his eyes, or the pain he had inflicted on your lower half from your brain. 

“Hey baby doll, you alright?” Tobin’s sleepy voice broke you out of your spiraling thoughts, and you bit down hard on your hand to prevent the sob from leaving your lips. 

“Hey, Y/n are you alright?” She said, flipping on the light, which startled Christen awake. They both took in your shaking form. Your face was pale, and you were rocking back and forth in the bed. You stared unseeingly at them, almost as though you were in a different world. 

The two women immediately jumped into action, Tobin rushing to grab a warm washcloth from the bathroom, and Christen slowly moving to sit beside you on your bed. Her hand came up to gently run circles on your back. 

“Y/n, baby,” She murmured, afraid that she would startle you more than you already were. Your eyes snapped to her and you shook your head rapidly, tears flowing freely down your face. You leaned further into her touch, collapsing in her arms. She pulled you closer to her, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her chest. Tobin ran a comforting hand through your hair when she returned, unwilling to coax you out of your hiding spot in her wife’s chest. 

She held you tight as if to reassure you that she was there, and she was never leaving. She and Tobin shared several worried looks, unsure of how to proceed. It was rare that you showed them any emotions besides happiness and frustration. They knew you had nightmares, but they had never been involved in the aftermath of one before. 

They half you between them, cooing soothing words and reassurances into your hair until your crying slowed. 

“Hey, baby can you look up at me?” Tobin asked softly, running the warm cloth over your features when you glanced up at her. You sighed into the touch, unused to the warm feeling that settled in your chest. 

“Can you tell us what’s going on?” Christen murmured into your hair, never stopping her comforting rubbing on your back or her rocking back and forth. You rapidly shook your head, returning to your hiding place. You knew that they had read your file before they adopted you, but reading a second-hand account of events and hearing it were two very different things. 

“Why not baby? It might help to get it off your chest,” Tobin pressed just a little, and she saw your shoulders deflate. 

“You won’t want me anymore,” You said so quietly into Christen’s shoulder that it was almost inaudible. The women gasped. 

“We will never not want you Kid” Tobin declared firmly, as Christen’s rocking picked up to ebb the tears that had started to flow again. 

A choked “Why?” left your lips, muffled by the soft material of Christen’s shirt, and you felt both women tense. You had been to hell and back, and you just couldn’t understand why the women hadn’t given up on you yet. Perhaps it was their competitive nature. Always wanting to overcome every challenge they face. But perhaps it was something else, the little voice in the back of your brain said. 

“Because we love you,” Christen whispered into your ear, and your tears increased. 

“You’re an amazing kid, and you bring so much light to our lives, despite all of the shit that you’ve been through,” Tobin added, wrapping her arms around both of you. You sighed into their touch. 

“Will you stay with me?” You whimpered softly. They made you feel safe, and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without them. 

“Always kiddo,” Tobin hummed, pulling the covers back and allowing Chris to maneuver you had her underneath them before joining you. You sighed deeply, relaxing at the feeling of both of them. You felt so safe, so protected between them. You felt… something so much greater than care. Something that you had been avoiding. 

As you drifted off you released a soft “love you mom and mama,”. You missed the shit-eating grins that took over both women’s faces, as they had been waiting for this moment for 8 months. The moment where you would finally accept their love, accept their invitation into their family. But you did catch the soft “love you too baby,” that came from both women. 

Things weren’t perfect, but they were heading that way. Sure, it would be a challenge, but they would never give up on you. You were theirs and they were yours forever and always. 

[rpgmgames]

March’s Featured Game: acai cOrner

DEVELOPER(S): moca & Mitty ENGINE: RPG Maker 2003 GENRE: RPG, Adventure, Surreal SUMMARY: acai cOrner is about Mizuki, someone who has fallen into the sewers and who happens to find their favorite electric guitar! Upon obtaining the guitar, Mizuki turns into a magical girl who must defend herself against spooky sewer creatures using the guitar's magical powers.

Download the game here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *moca: Hi, I'm moca, a Starbucks barista aspiring to be a writer and game developer. I have been making RPG Maker games for about six years now, with my first two projects being a Pokémon fan-game and a Corpse Party fan-game. Those two happen to be my two favorite franchises as well! I have also created the RPG Maker game MOMOKA (IGMC 2018). I have founded a group called 'Team Shibu!' dedicated to making horror games! Our current project is a RPG Maker survival horror game named 'Katharsis'.

*Mitty: Hey there, I'm Mitty! I've been working with Moca on several games for a while now, helping with mostly graphics! Please support him, as he is very kind and hardworking!! I'm also the main developer of a game called "Marinette", so I hope you'll check that one out too, when the demo is released!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *moca: acai cOrner is an experimental spooky RPG Maker game that only uses 4 colors! You are a magical girl with a just-as-magical electric guitar that you use to fend off spooky sewer slimes and other weird enemies you find in the surreal sewer system. It's half exploration and half RPG battles. What inspired me to create acai cOrner initially was to actually get myself back into the groove of making games again. I had just recently came back from a hiatus and found myself having trouble getting back into the development of 'Katharsis'. That's when I decided to make a short, experimental game to get the juices flowing.

How long did you work on your project? *moca: acai cOrner was finished in just about under a month!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *moca: I had always wanted to make a Yume Nikki-like game and thought this was the perfect opportunity to try. So for the more surreal parts of acai cOrner, I took inspiration from Yume Nikki and a Homestuck random planet generator. Gameplay wise though, I took inspiration from a RPG Maker game called Ghost Suburb 0! I really loved how unique it was, especially with the timer and no dialogue aspect. I knew I wanted to do something with a timer, so I tried a rogue-like approach with the gameplay.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *moca: If you played any of my previous projects, you know that acai cOrner is vastly different than anything that I have ever done. I'm so used to using words to describe the violence in my games, so when it came to making the story, I had a lot of trouble. It wasn't until I looked deeper into why people like these types of games that I had realized that people like to interpret the story on their own, guided by exploration, to enjoy these games. After that, I let loose a bit and made something more open-ended. Another challenge was the difficulty. I was the only one playtesting the game, and since I knew the game front and back, and had no trouble getting the ending. That's why when I sent out demos to friends, I was really discouraged to hear that the experience was mostly frustrating and rage quitting-inducing haha. I worked closely with their feedback and made changes accordingly to make the experience less frustrating but still difficult. *Mitty: I think I was going through a weird artblock during the development of the game, so for some of the illustrations and backdrops for each area's fights, Moca sketched out the basic idea of what it could look like, and I just put my spin on it! It made the work much easier and faster!

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *moca: Well, the game was meant to be short so there wasn't room for any big changes. Sure there are a couple gameplay changes and enemy tweaks, but not anything mindblowing. I added in the idea of making four surreal worlds kinda last minute, if that counts, haha.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *moca: In the beginning, it was just me! I didn't think I was gonna need any outside help since this was supposed to be a relatively easy project to release, but the further in development I got, the more I realized the game needed pizazz. The four color limitation wasn't enough for my lack of graphical talent. That's when I contacted Mitty about helping with the games battle backdrops and sprite animations! She is also a member of Team Shibu!, but we have collabed together even before that. Her art really made the project shine and I enjoy working with them on games! *Mitty: Moca contacted me, and I wanted to help! We are working together on another game called Katharsis, so we are quite familiar with each other. I like working with other people, especially if I'm not in the lead, it releases a bit of the pressure I feel sometimes ahaha

What is the best part of developing a game? *moca: To me, it's seeing everything come together and just... working exactly the way you envisioned it. As a game developer, you section the game off into parts to make development much more organized and faster but seeing it all come together in the end. Pure bliss *chefs kiss*. *Mitty: I like a bit of everything, but currently I've been enjoying animating and spritework, as well as map assets' designs a little more than usual!

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *moca: Mm... not really! I have an idea of what the engine can do, so when I do go out of my way to player other RPG Maker games, it's usually for writing inspiration rather than gameplay inspiration. Ghost Suburb 0 is something that I accidentally stumbled upon and immediately fell in love with it the minute I played it haha. (Fun fact: the developer of Ghost Suburb 0 is apart of Team Shibu! and is in charge of monster design!)

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *moca: There is a rat in the game that is internally called 'Ratthew' who leads you into a funky room. I relate them the most. *Mitty: I relate to the land sharks the most on a spiritual level. They are pretty much confused beans, and that's very relatable.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *moca: I wish I added more random spooky events and trap rooms. But the game was also supposed to be short and I knew that if I kept adding more and more things, development was never gonna end haha.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *moca: Well, by the time this interview comes out, there should be a new update for the game. The update should include 100% custom music by a talented composer, and a nerf in difficulty. As for sequels, who knows! The next time you see acai cOrner may be in 3D.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *moca: Definitely the fan reaction! The satisfaction of seeing your work being noticed by people and actually enjoying makes me happy. It's also the relief of just... finishing something! *Mitty: For this particular project I was obviously looking forward to seeing what people said about the little animations and such ahaha! I also was curious about the reaction to the timed difficulty mechanic, I had never seen anything like that before Moca presented it to me, so I had no idea on what people's feedback would be.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *moca: How people will handle the difficulty. The game isn't supposed to be completed on your first playthrough, but in 2-3 playthroughs. There are rooms and places that are meant to waste your time that you should ideally skip the more you play. By later playthroughs, you should be shaving time and be better. I understand that it's not handled as best I could, but I think the experience should still be challenging and hopefully fun! *Mitty: I was a little conflicted on the timed mechanic, I loved it because it's pretty original and helps set an interesting athmosphere of worry and unease, and also seems to tell a bit of the vague story; and at the same time I don't like it much because I prefer more story-driven games and the vagueness mixed with the mechanic feels different from what I'm used to playing! I think it's more of a personal taste kind of thing, it was an experimental jam game, after all!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *moca: Take it easy! Take short breaks throughout development. And most importantly, have fun. If it's a hobby and it's making you overly stressed, just take a step back!

Question from last month's featured dev @ressurflection: What would you say is the weakest part of your game development? *moca: Procrastination. I'm so bad at sticking to my own schedule, it's something that I try to keep in check when working with a team especially.

We mods would like to thank moca & Mitty for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out acai cOrner if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[oh-so-scenarios]

Loose Ends | one

⇢ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ʟᴀsᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ...ᴛᴏᴏ ʙᴀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ sᴛɪᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍᴀɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀᴜsᴇᴅ.

⇢ᴄᴇᴏ! ᴋɪᴍ ɴᴀᴍᴊᴏᴏɴ x ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ ᴀssɪsᴛᴀɴᴛ! ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴇx-ғɪᴀɴᴄᴇs!ᴀᴜ, ᴀɴɢsᴛ, ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇsᴛᴏʟᴏᴠᴇʀs

A/N: This one jumps right into things. First chapter is a bit...meh. but we gotta lay down the foundations first right? Not edited! (Word Count: 5K) Is this 

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                                                    PRESENT

Y/N:

Egotistical. Cold. Detached. Aloof. Inconsiderate. Narrow-Minded. Rigid. Narcissistic. All negative personality traits you could think of. Throw some more out there. Unfriendly, Greedy and more. All those words could describe my bosses. My past bosses and probably my future bosses. 

I’ve looked into the eyes of the coldest and most unbending people in the business industry. I stared them down, pulled a tight smile and flutter my eyelashes while speaking in a calm tone. That is my job. That is my career. Though I have only been doing this for 3 years, I live for it. 

Secretary, CEO’s assistant, Executive Assistant; there are many names for what I do. Call it what you will, I make sure important people know what they have planned for the day. I make sure they don’t fall apart and they do what is required of them

I am the most requested worker from Trim Line, the hiring agency I work for. My contracts never exceed 6 months; I come in to fix things up, find and train a new secretary and see myself out. I’ve declined too many long term offers and though it’d be more stable to stay in one place ...I don’t want to.

“Accept it.” Ms. Kwon said. I glanced up from the open folder that laid on my desk. I looked back down and bit my lip. She stood in front of my smaller desk with her arms crossed. Her amber-brown hair was resting on her shoulders. She’d just cut it short a few days ago. It made her appear to be younger. Her face was lacking wrinkles and though she was 54 she looked no older than 35. She often brags about her skin routine, the one she refuses to share with anyone.

Everyone has come to the conclusion that it’s some expensive serum we couldn’t afford anyway. 

Ms. Kwon is the CEO of Trim Line. she started the company 23 years ago and has been growing since. Trim Line provides qualified Lawyers, accounts, Secretaries and more. I am simply a secretary. I have refused all her offer to be trained in a different department. She believes I am limiting myself, but that’s fine with me. 

My hard work over the last 3 years has made Ms. Kwon draw me under her wing. She often checks on me, and always recommends me to potential clients. I’m thankful for her support and the support of the company. I tell everyone that Trim Line is just the place to work if you have the skills but can’t seem to find a job. 

Just be able to speak Korean and that’s enough. It doesn’t matter your gender or race, Trim Line will find work for you. The company was founded in South Korea but locations have been opened in Japan, China, and Taiwan.  The growth of the company is something Ms. Kwon takes pride in. Her eyes twinkle and her chin raises up while she puts a hand over her heart. 

She has a hard time believing she’s come so far. That’s why I appreciate her.  

“It’s 8 months,” I answer, speaking like that statement justified my answer. She places a hand on my desk and leans on it a bit. She narrows her eyes and cocks her head.

“I don’t know why you keep battling me on this Y/n. Take the offer. The pay is good, the ability to network is there as well. It’s just two months longer than your regular contracts. I don’t see the problem.” She argues, glancing down at the folder again. 

I sighed and leaned back in my seat, “This offer is...sketchy.” I always speak with her honestly. 

“Everyone knows KM Publishing. They are on top of the world right now. All the books that come out of there are best sellers. Published in Korea, then translated for many countries. They practically came out of nowhere and took over the publishing industry.” I said. 

Ms. Kwon took her hand off the desk and held her arms open as if her point was made, “Aren’t you supposed to be arguing against me, Y/n? Everything you said is correct! It’s a wonderful opportunity.”

I shook my head, “You know what else is correct, Ms. Kwon?”

Her eyes shift around the room as if waiting for someone else to answer. She shakes her head and shrugs. There was something childish about the action and I almost laughed at how childlike she looked at that moment.

“There isn’t much known about the CEO, but what is known--”

“--Yes, yes! I’ve heard it!” Ms. Kwon cuts me off, “I heard he’s awful.”

“Correction, he’s the worst,” I added sharply, “and it was Mina who said that! Mina, of all people!”

Mina is a co-worker of mine. She does her job well and isn’t a pushover. However, I remember hearing her experience with Mr. Kim of Moonchild Publishing. She met him in passing when working on as a lawyer for a smaller publisher. 

“His aura is terrifying.” She’d said. 

“He didn’t say a word but the look in his eyes was so demeaning. Like a father that sees his child as a failure.”

Mina looks for the best in people. She’s someone who has worked for some rude people but I’ve never heard her speak negatively of a person, let alone call some terrifying.

“But you’re tougher than Mina! That’s why I brought this offer to you!” 

“How is anyone gonna improve if you bring all the tough jobs to me?” I muttered under my breath. I crossed my arms over my chest and almost glowered at Ms. Kwon. She brushed off my irate gaze and continued with her lecture.

“This isn’t one for someone who wants to grow Y/n. I need someone who is qualified and can deal with whatever stuck up, arrogant man is thrown her way. That’s you.” She points her manicured finger at me, before wagging it around the office. 

“No one in this office has been able to work under such pressure. You’re the only secretary Mr. Jeon, CEO of JJK IT, hasn’t made cry.” She reminds me. 

Oh right, Mr. Jeon. A young man whose brilliant idea brought him to a high status of power. The way his company has been overtaking the IT world is alarming. It makes me wonder just when it’ll become too close to a monopoly, because the short 3 months I was there showed the young man’s desire to expand.

His attitude was...condescending. He walked about looking down on those around him. He was the King and we were the lowly help. He was one of the most talkative CEOs I’ve worked for. He’d often grin at me, while his eyes racked up and down my body.

I never mentioned his attempting to wine and dine me to Ms. Kwon. He felt no shame in letting me know he was interested. Ugh. The more that I think about it, the more I realized how much I disliked Mr. Jeon.

Mixing personal desires into work is so unprofessional. I lost some respect for him, but there wasn’t much in the first place. 

I pick up one of the papers from the folder and scanned it, finding what I wanted. 

“Who put in the offer to the company? He did?” I ask, pressing my lips into a tight line. 

“The Chairman of the company did. They need someone who can keep up with the CEO’s demands and fast-paced workday.” She explained. She peeks over at the paper in my head, her gaze flickering between my unmoving face and the printed words.

 “The pay is exceptional.” She pokes at me.

I chuckle, “Ms. Kwon,” I almost sang in a warning manner. 

“I want you to accept this offer Y/n. It’s not only good for you but also for the company. Moonchild Publishing has connections with production companies. You know a lot of their novels are being made into movies. In the 23 years of building Trim Line with my bare hands,” She pauses and sighs. 

I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Here she goes!

“...I haven’t been able to break into the film world. Imagine if we Trim Line could provide agents, writers, and even graphic designers! This may be the step I need to get my foot into the door.” She pouts, fluttering her long eyelashes.

“Y/n, take the job ...for me.” 

 I close the folder and give Ms. Kwon an apologetic look, “I’m not taking the job.”

I TOOK THE damn job offer. Why! Why! Why?! It was probably Ms. Kwon’s begging. The way that a grown woman would follow me around the office with a sad look in her eyes for the last week. Sighing loudly in my presence and muttering sad phrases to herself, but of course loud enough for me to hear.

She was being over-dramatic, saying stuff like I was opening a massive door for her. The future and growth of the company were sitting on my shoulders. 

No pressure! 

Ugh, I just gave in, finding that my co-workers were pushing me to take the job. They didn’t want the offer pushed their way if Ms. Kwon got desperate. She’d result in sending someone who could at least manage with Mr. Kim or KM as he often goes by. 

That’s how I found myself standing in the large elevator that had a gold interior. The elevator moved fast, taking me up to the 23rd floor where Mr. Kim would be found. I leaned against the wall, looking at the box of my things in that white office box I’d used too frequently. I looked down at my outfit, wondering what to wear tomorrow. My red flare pants came a bit higher up on me, like high rise jeans. I had on a plain black blouse with a black blazer. 

My heels were a dull white but were concealed by the flare of my pants. My nails were nicely due, but not long enough to get in the way of my work. My hair was slicked back into a well put together ponytail. I kept the accessories to a minimum.

Another adventure is beginning. An 8-month adventure. This isn’t anything new to me. I was ready to come in and do my work. I know I am amazed at my job and no one can tell me otherwise. There were no butterflies, not nervous or worries. I am not here to befriend anyone or become the CEO’s favorite. I know my place and my purpose. 

The elevator pings before the doors open to reveal a white hallway with a grey granite floor. The ceiling was lined with gold and the walls were so white I’d be afraid to touch there no matter how clean my hands were.

I picked up my book and stepped out of the elevator. I walked to my right because the left was a dead end. My heels clicked and echoed through the hall. Anyone would think it was vacant on this floor. The hallways were so wide, it made you feel small. 

I turned the corner and could faintly hear the sound of a buzzing office. The sound of paper shuffling, keyboards clicking, and small conversation. I kept walking and saw a foggy glass door in front of me. 

“Oh!” A small voice said. I turned my head to see a girl sitting at a large white desk. She stood up, giving me a full view of her small frame. I was so focused ahead that I hadn’t noticed the two items on either side of me. The desk where the quiet girl stood and across from her desk, two wooden double doors. 

I looked forward again, staring at the fogging glass door that was on the wall adjacent to the wooden double doors. 

“Ms. L/n?” The young woman said. I turned my head to look at her again, finally giving her my full attention. I walked towards the desk, showing her a small smile. 

“So you already know of my arrival?” I ask, and follow it with a small giggle. I walk around so I’m behind the long white desk. There are two seats and two computers, on which the young woman was occupying. 

“I’m Sana.” She stretches her arm out as I set my box on the floor beside what I presumed to be my seat. Her hair was so silky straight, I’d thought it was a wig. I shook her hand swiftly gently before bending down to take the top off my box. I started taking out the all-new planner I’d bought, as I always do with a new contract. I took out some folders and took out my phone that I’d carelessly thrown into the box. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Sana says, trying to stop the silence. I didn’t find the silence awkward, and frankly, I didn’t feel the need to speak to her. I don’t start my first day going around the office and learning everyone’s names. 

I did at first, but I’d notice the friendships I made at each office would die over time. 

“I heard you’re a pro at these types of things.” She kept talking even though I didn’t reply. Ugh, I already know what type of co-worker she will be. 

“Mr. Kim--” I cut her off. 

“--is in a meeting, I know,” I said, before digging through the box again. Sana must have forgotten I’d already asked her to email me Mr. Kim’s schedule two days ago. I already know what’s on the agenda for the next week, which leaves me prepared. 

I kept rummaging through the box until I made it to the bottom where my ID badge was. I put it on over my head and kicked the box under the desk. I took a deep breath before plopping down in my seat. 

I laid my hands on the desk and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath in and out. When I opened my eyes Sana was peering at me with her brows furrowed. 

I opened up the new planner I had bought and was already filled with Mr. Kim’s schedule. 

“Oh wow!” Sana gasped from beside me. She moved her chair closer, it is easier since there were wheels on both our chairs. 

She stared at my planner, reading over everything, “You really are a pro at this!” The tone in her voice shows that she was doubtful. The way her eyes shined at my organization was kind of cute. She smiled widely as she looked at my face. 

“I am so glad you’re here. I could tell Mr. Kim was getting frustrated with me.” She relaxed in her seat, her shoulders dropping in dejection.

I raised an eyebrow at her, “What exactly is your job? I didn’t know Mr. Kim had another secretary?” 

She straightens up and puts both hands up. She shakes her head and hands in a ‘no’ fashion.

“I am not a secretary by any means.” She laughs awkwardly, “I am merely the receptionist. When clients come for appointments or authors come for interviews, I show them their way. I make appointments, I restock the staplers…” She trails off as if hearing herself and regretting her words. 

“I just mean that I don’t have to deal with anything pertaining to Mr. Kim.” She says softly. 

I nod and look back at the schedule, “The previous secretary?” 

“Her last day was a few days ago, so I was attempting to handle Mr. Kim’s stuff. He was getting frustrated because my abilities were limited.” She pouted and turned her chair to face the front again. 

I only nodded in response before taking my planner and rising from my seat. Sana watched me in curiosity, the question written all over her face. She was wondering where I was going. She probably didn’t want to face Mr. Kim along when he got back from his meeting. 

As I pushed the heavy glass door open with my hip, I remember that I didn’t ask what Mr. Kim’s first name was. He goes by KM and a few said he accepts Kim J at times. But what is his first name? I didn’t do too much research on Mr. Kim as a person, cause that shouldn’t matter much.

I did more research into the company and its functions. Did I even look up a picture? I don’t remember. I’ve done this too many times to waste the effort of such trivial things. I stood in the middle of a big room with different cubicles and desks, people seated at all of them. Only some people noticed my presence, stopping to size me. The stares of the women turning sour and the men ogling. 

My eyes move around the office, avoiding eye contact with any of those who were watching me. I finally notice the names of each employee on their desks and outside of their cubicle. 

“Mr. Min,” I muttered looking back down at the planner. Mr. Min is supposed to have a sales report for the latest release. Mr. Kim will review it then proceed on the restock of the book. I started walking through the office, noticing the floor was carpet when I didn’t hear my heels clicking. 

I walked past desks and wandering gazes to I came to the name I wanted to see. 

‘Mr. Min -- Accountant” My joy was short-lived as I noticed the desk empty. My mouth fell into a frown and I looked around the office, checking if maybe he’d left his desk for only a moment. I was about to turn around to leave when I spotted a packet of paper on the further right corner of the desk. I stepped closer, noticing a pale blue sticky note with a message written.

Completed Sales Report for new Secretary. I smiled to myself, scooping up the packet and spinning around on my heels. I started out the way I came. 

“Are you the new secretary?” Someone called out. My footsteps slowed to a stop and the office felt a lot quieter than before. 

I spun towards the voice to notice a man in a white dress shirt with black slacks. He stood not too far from me. His hands were in his pocket while his eyes studied me. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek and his gaze was hot on me. 

I stared back at him, bored. Ugh, at least try to not be oblivious. 

“Yes, I am.” I hold the packet and the planner close to my chest. I take note of the other employees tuning in. 

“I have to admit,” He smirks, “You’re the cutest one by far.” I scoff at the comment.

“That's what you stopped me for?” I ask, “How disappointing. If you’ll excuse me.”

“You seem so sure of yourself.” He calls out again, his tone harsher this time. I only took one step and stopped. I turn to face him again, listening as he continued his insults. 

“I give you...a month.” He says, turning to his co-workers who giggled in agreement.

I look over my shoulder, “Give me 8 months instead. That’s how long my contract is.” I turn to face him again, looking him up and down with a scrutinizing gaze. 

“Maybe the reason it��s so hard working for Mr. Kim because rather than focus on your work, you’re standing here eyeing me so intensely that I just might have to call HR.” The light and kind tone I used made the man’s confident smile drop, for it took him a moment to process my retort. 

“It’s 10 am, I’ve only been here for such a short time. At least let me have lunch before you start your, what I am guessing is frequent, harassment.” The open mouths of those in the office weren’t of the only shock but of laughter. Some were clearly stunned by my words while others tried to keep their chuckles low.

I didn’t stay to watch the man gather his thoughts in an effort of a rebuttal. I had already wasted too much time. I headed towards that same glass door, pushing it open with my hip as I’d done before. Sana only looked up from the computer screen to acknowledge me. I walked right to the double doors.

“Is he back?” I asked over my shoulder. I could barely see Sana shake her head no. I made my way into the office, not spending too much time on the decor. I was too focused on my thoughts. The details of the rest of the day playing in my head. 

I want everything to go smoothly. I place the packet on the walnut wood desk, peeling off the sticky note in the process. 

I spend the next 30 minutes out at my desk with Sana. I’m making arrangements for dinner Mr. Kim suddenly emailed me about. The footer stating ‘sent from iPhone’ told me that his meeting went well. I also sent emails out to Mr. Kim’s driver, travel agent and more. They need to be familiar with me and I with them.

I am typing away at my computer, ignoring Sana’s gleeful humming. I’m sending out documents and sending things to the printer. I push myself away from the desk and stand up, heading back into the office area. The copy room has to be around here somewhere. Everyone can tell that I’m looking for something, but no one makes an effort to help. 

Good.

I find the copy room, grabbing the sheets of paper I sent. I looked over them, making sure it’s how I wanted it to be. I hear whispers when some women entered the copy room. I sighed, already tired of the people here. My goodness, how many times has Mr. Kim gone through a secretary? Are they not used to it by now? 

Or were they trying to feel me out? I grabbed my sheets of paper and strolled out the copy room, not giving them the chance to say whatever it was. I am not going to be joined into any cliques. I strolled through the office space and back out to the lobby to meet a panicked Sana standing up in her seat. 

“What’s up?” I ask, my face scrunching up. Why did she look like that? Her eyes dart to the double doors and she fumbles with her fingers.

“Mr. Kim is in.” She says then nods towards the doors, “He would like to see you.” She swallows, looking like he’s asking for her instead of me. 

I set the freshly printed papers on the desk and grab my planner with a pen. I straighten my blazer and hold my head up high. 

I knock on the doors and hear a faint, “Come in.” 

I push one door one and waltz in. He’s sitting in a chair at his desk, but with the back facing me. I didn’t notice the beautiful square windows that were behind his desk till now. Under the windows were some bookshelves. There were awards, books, and figurines. The walnut desk was complemented by the black spinning chair I was staring at the back of.

There were no pictures on his desk. It was cleaned off except for the report I placed down later. I could barely see the side of his arm that rested on the armrest of the chair. Was he looking out the window? 

I stood there in silence, waiting for him to say something. Nothing. Did he not hear me come in? Ugh, I can already tell how this guy is going to be. 

“You called for me?” I asked as kindly as I could. I shouldn’t get on his bad side so quickly.  I’ll admit, he does have a commanding presence. The silence was heavy and almost disapproving. Now I used what mina was saying. I feel like I’m about to be scolded, though I haven’t done anything wrong.

“Did you make the reservation?” He asked. 

“Yes, for 8 pm,” I answer, flipping the planner opened to today’s date.

“8 pm is too late.” He retorts in plainly. 

“I’ll change it to 7 pm. Anything else?” 

“You’re the one who put the report on my desk?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Don’t do it again. Don’t enter my office when I am not here unless you’re told to. I don’t want anyone snooping in here.” He almost spits. 

He thinks I care enough to snoop? Anyways. 

“Got it. Anything else, Mr. Kim?”

It’s silent again. I stand there, waiting. He’s gonna ask me to do something else isn’t he? I can tell he wants to say something. Say it. Say it so I can leave. 

“Make calls to these authors in regards to their release dates. Get availability from each other them and schedule dates according.” 

I wrote down the names and phone numbers as he called them out. I can’t say I'm surprised by his cold and detached personality. I’ve worked for businessmen and women like him. No hello, welcome to the company or it’s great to have you type of bullshit. He doesn’t care who does the job, he just wants the job done. That’s fine with me.

As I scribbled down the information, I heard a chair spin around. Oh, how kind of him to finally put his eyes on me! 

I wrote the last phone number and closed the planner looking up to ask for further instruction. But I couldn’t speak as I looked up at the man seated. 

He stared daggers at me, his eyes shuttered while his arm was propped on the armrest and his hand was on his chin. It was hard to tell what he was thinking or if he was thinking at all. All I could do was stare back in a gut-wrenching manner. It felt like my heart stopped for a few beats before accelerating to the point of concern. Was I about to have a heart attack?

My body was growing hot while my heart continued to pound in my ears. A shiver traveled up my spine and for a moment it felt like I lost all the strength in my legs. 

I blinked a few times, thinking that the man in front of me would disappear if I looked away. I cleared my throat, moving my eyes to the way on my right. Though it felt like I was losing all control of my body, it wasn’t showing on the outside. Rather my heart and body were reacting on the inside. 

But to any regular person, you’d just see me blink multiple times. 

What is this? What is this thick and weighing quiet? Should I say something? Is he going to say something?

Mr. Kim gazed back at me with an unreadable expression. His eyes took in every corner of my face. My hair, my eyes, my nose, my lips and once again, he did the same thing. What is he thinking? His eyes move to down my body, all the way to my feet and back up to my face. I thought he was going to say something. Do something. Make a face of disgust or recognition. But worse, he looks away.

He leaned forward, taking the report in his hand. He sat in a crisp navy suit with his black hair slicked back and out of his face. He looked sharp and expensive. Not a hair out of place. He looked like a higher class man. The energy coming off him demanded attention and obedience. 

What a scary man indeed. 

I became aware of the fact that I was watching this man read in silence. He wasn’t going to dismiss me so I dismissed myself. I moved slowly, not trusting my legs to carry me out in one piece. I gripped onto the handle of the door for dear life, using it to steady myself. I flung the door open and zoomed out of the office. 

I didn’t pay any mind to Sana concerned eyes as I strolled past the desk, down the white-walled hallway, and to the elevator. I pushed the button, my breathing became heavy as I waited, my eyes stinging so painfully small gasp left my lips. 

I coughed, a choked sob coming up quickly after. The sob shook my chest and physically made me hunched over with my hand on my mouth. The elevator doors opened. I was glad to find it empty. I walked into, leaning against the wall while I caught my breath. I didn’t press a button so the doors closed, and the elevator stayed still. 

I took in a shaky breath and pressed the button for the lobby. The elevator started to descend and so did. I slid down the wall, a sob getting stuck in my throat as tears ran down my cheeks. My body felt like it was freezing over and I shivered violently. My throat suddenly felt dry and all composure was leaving me. 

Joonie. Joon. Namjoon. Mr. Kim was Kim Namjoon. My old schoolmate, my childhood friend, my first love ...the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

A man I loved with all my heart and soul stared into my eyes like he was watching grass grow. Like I was a stranger. Maybe...maybe I am a stranger because that emotionless man in there couldn’t have been my Namjoon. 

I clutched at the fabric of my shirt, sniffling, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. 

Get it together Y/n! Get it together! You’re supposed to be collected one. You’re supposed to have your shit together. Don’t do this now, don’t do this here. You’re better than this! 

The feelings of pain, bitterness, and regret were overwhelming. Sadness overtook me as memories of the past years replayed in my mind. 

What right do I have to feel so sad? What right do I have to pity myself in such a way? 

Everything fell apart 3 years ago, and it was my fault.

∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ∙ ❣

Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think! I didn’t drag out the reunion cause that’s not the main point of the story! 

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #482

Top Ten Sega Games

So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).

I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.

Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).

So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.

Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.

Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.

Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.

After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.

Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.

Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?

Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.

The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.

Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.

[rina-writes]

Calm Waters Part 4

Part 3: x

A/N: I am v aware that there are probably like three people reading this haha However, I find it a joy to write because it’s a different style for me. (saying this for this specific part makes me feel a bit like a sociopath, but hopefully you understand that I enjoyed the experience of writing not the content itself)  So, the few of you going along for the ride as well, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Grayson continues to spoil you after your date, but that night turns out to be an experiment day.  What you don’t know is that among the usual attendees, Ethan and Ryan are there as well hoping to expose your story.

Warnings:  Mentions of captivity, torture by electrocution, dehumanization (nothing graphic because I’m not the best writer, but still there)

When you were much younger, your mother told you about the story of water. It was your first time at the beach that you could vividly recall. Everything about that day was glorious to your six year old self: the squawking of the sea gulls, the deep, stench of the sea water, the salty taste of your dried lips from the sea spray and, of course, the cool ripple of water beneath your toes.

With her fingers raking through your hair, your mother hummed, her eyes locked on both of your feet. Her skin patched in a deep purple with flecks of silver, almost like amethyst. You found it to be much more attractive than your blue green speckles.

“Every body of water that has encountered life can tell a story.” Your mother told you. “A leaf falling in a pool to a dog jumping in a lake can all be traced in the ripples of water. Only we can listen and understand it.”

“Can you hear everything in the ocean?” You asked, staring out at the vast, deep blue waters. “Wouldn’t it be noisy?”

Your mother laughed. “It is very noisy. Not for your ears but for your skin. It’s like like tickles running up your arms and legs.” She tickled your arms making you giggle. “But those tickles tell the story of who was here, who is here and who has yet to come. Sometimes you have to block out the sounds and focus on something important.”

“Like sharks?” You asked, trembling.

As much as your mother explained that a bad shark was like a bad pit bull, a matter of circumstance and previous ownership (and also just bad PR), you were still afraid.

“Sure!” Your mother laughed. “Or a lovesick fisherman.”

Your mother gestured to your father who was behind you both setting up your spot for the day. He gave you a dorky smile and a wave before continuing to struggle with the beach umbrella.

“How do you learn to hear the water? Is it like signing?” You asked, signing as you spoke for emphasis.

“It’s a little different. It requires training, focus, and deep understanding of our culture.” Your mother smiled turning you around squatting to your eye level. “When you come of age, I’ll show you everything...”

For your “people” coming of age was 13, but that’s when your life literally went up in flames. It meant you never learned how to listen to water. Like your mother warned, it was always overwhelming, as if you were sitting in a room with a thousand people talking at once. At the same time, it was also strangely energizing. 

You realized this with Grayson the previous night. With your toes dipped in the water, your body trembled with the force of emotion coursing through your body.  It was like going to a live performance of an orchestra and hearing a classical symphony come to life before you. You could feel joy, regret, pain, there was a lot of pain, but also hope.  You wondered if the ocean was also capturing the affection that was swelling in your heart as Grayson kissed you as well.  You realized you loved the rowdiness of the sea’s voice because it showed you how much life was contained in the water outside of your cell.

Despite only getting a couple of hours of sleep, you felt the most wake and excited to start the day than you could ever remember.  As you slipped on your uniform, you smiled softly thinking about the clothes that Cameron lent you that were now in Grayson’s trunk.  You decided that hiding your toothbrush was hard enough without an entire outfit. Grayson had put it in a large reusable bag and packed it with care. He promised to fill it with all the clothes you would need for future dates. 

At first, your heart flipped with excitement before sinking to the pit of your stomach with dread.  While this was a dream come true, the stroke of midnight reminded you that it was a fantasy that was going to come to an end. You definitely couldn’t do this every day, and you hoped it wouldn’t disappoint Grayson when you rejected his next few date suggestions.  To not ruin your perfect night, you gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded. It seemed to be enough for him. Your last memory of Grayson of your first date was his lips pressed to yours and the soft whisper of “Good night.” in your ear.

Even thinking about it now, you wanted to jump for joy. You looked in the broken glass that you used as a mirror and tilted your head from side to side.  The scrunchie on your wrist was still soaking wet.  You thought about putting your hair up, but decided against it and put your hat on.  The fantasy was over, you were back to being the weird girl Aurora at Pete’s Ocean Land.

You walked past the dolphins tank,almost skipping with excitement  You swirled your hand in the water, something you only did when you really wanted their attention.  Doris head came up to receive a pet and you obliged.  You smiled at her squeaks of joy, reluctantly pulling your hand away to sign.  

As you moved your arms around in circles, you realized how limiting it was to speak in your sign language.  There were many words you didn’t know how to say, namely, “date”, “clothes” and “kiss”. However, Doris got the gist as she kept tapping her tail fin up and down.  It didn’t take much of a genius to figure out what Doris’ was signalling. You rolled your eyes, dolphins were such sexual creatures.  

You rubbed your stomach before tapping your chin and tracing a circle with your middle and index finger in the air.

I’ll bring you good food to eat next time.

Doris flipped on her back and turned in a circle. She flipped back over and spun counter clockwise.  You sputtered out a laugh beside yourself.

Bring me your pup next time.

You rolled your eyes at the sexual prowess of your dolphin friend, but also couldn’t hide your amusement. What a feeling it was to fall in love!

Your performance that day felt the best yet.  You knew it was because you felt confident and that made the dolphins in the show feel confident too. Even without the fancy clothes and makeup that Cameron had given you, you felt human again.  It was only made better when you saw a familiar lifeguard waiting for you after the arena area closed.  

Grayson waved at you, his white shirt looped around his neck so his metal whistle was hitting his bare chest.  He was wearing his bright red shorts that hung a bit lower on his waist than they should for a uniform. He had on dark sunglasses and the biggest grin as he folded his arms and leaned against the wall of the entrance. 

You found yourself running over to him like a little kid, but Grayson welcomed it.  Grayson leaned down to give you a kiss and your eyes darted from side to side.

“We’re at work...” You whispered.

“I don’t care...” Grayson whispered back with a smirk.  In one quick motion, he unfolded his arms and let his right hand grab the back of your neck at its base.  He massaged his lips into yours and you let out a sigh.  He took the opportunity to welcome his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

Without much thought, your hands were entangled in his hair and your body was pressed against his.  You both panted to get air without breaking the kiss, the sounds only arousing you more. Grayson broke the kiss almost reluctantly, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I have another date idea.” He said, his lips red and swollen. “I even got you something to wear.”

You blushed. “I don’t think I can go out so soon again.” You bit down on your lower lip nervously.

Grayson’s eyes locked on your lip and he used his thumb to release it from your teeth. He leaned in to kiss you again. As you tiptoed to push against him, he grabbed your chin and pulled you away. His eyes were intense as he looked at you, still keeping you close, but clearly trying to stop himself from getting distracted.

“Alright...” Grayson said, dejectedly. “At least let me give you the surprise.”

You frowned a bit.  Grayson took your hand and started to lead you out of the arena.  Once you were going into the open park, you let go of Grayson’s hand. He looked back at you a little hurt, but seeing the terrified look on your face discouraged him from protesting.  Grayson didn’t want to make anymore trouble for you that he already caused.

You arrived at your first destination: the staff locker room.  You never went inside as you didn’t have anything stored in there.  You waited outside and  it felt strangely invigorating.  After all, every employee stored their stuff there and you often saw people waiting outside for their friends or significant others.  For once, you were one of the cool kids waiting for someone.

Grayson emerged with a medium sized gift bag.  You blushed, realizing how conspicuous this was, but took it anyway.  Grayson led the way to your second destination: the “secret” eating spot above the cafeteria where you could open it without prying eyes.

The moment you sat down at one of the umbrella covered tables, you opened the bag. Your jaw dropped as you pulled out a black and white one piece swim suit.  It had a low scoop back with a print that was white on one side and black on the other.

“There’s more.” Grayson said, even more excited than you were.

There was a strapless, hot pink one piece that was cut quite high in the crotch.  You wondered if it would be uncomfortable.  You had seen a few girls wearing around the park, there were water rides on the other side, and so you knew it was quite trendy.  You just weren’t sure if you could pull it off.

Finally, the last item was a red bikini.  You remembered hearing string bikini in movies and tv shows, but this really lived up to the name. Still, it was quite a modest fit with round bra cups and a wider cut bikini bottom.

You stared at Grayson misty eyed. “Grayson, this is too much.”

“No, it isn’t!’ Grayson insisted.  “I hate thinking of you floating naked in that stupid tank.  While I can’t bust you out, I’m not going to let him treat you like an animal.”

‘But aren’t I?’ The bitter thought crept into your mind, but you did your best to silence. 

“Still...” You placed the last swimsuit back in the bag.  “If I were to wear this, he would know I had a contact with the outside. The ramifications of this...”

“Humor me...” Grayson practically begged.

He was leaning forward and stripes of sun brought out the gold specks in his eyes. It was unfair that he was so handsome in addition to be so kind. It made it difficult to say no to him.  You also knew deep down that when you couldn’t say no, it was because you didn’t want to say no to him. It was easy to blame him, but the fact of the matter was that you wanted to wear the clothes that he bought you.

“Alright...” You sighed. “I don’t have anywhere to hide all of these though...so I can only take one.  The rest will have to go in my clothing bag.”

Grayson grinned.  Most couples, if he was so bold as to call you two a couple, had a drawer at the other person’s place.  You had a bag in his trunk filled with outfits for your dates.  Yet, it gave him the same euphoria as having a drawer for you because in his mind it represented the same thing: that you were a part of his life.  

“Which one do you like the most?” Grayson asked, expectantly.

You dug into the bag and pulled out the black and white one. Grayson pouted teasingly.

“Of course you would choose the most conservative one.” Grayson complained, folding his arms. He leaned back in his chair, tossing his head toward the base of his neck.  “There goes my fantasies of you in a bikini.”

You blushed. “Grayson, you already saw topless.” 

Grayson’s eyes widened as he sat up suddenly, straight as an arrow. “I didn’t see anything, I swear!” He put his hands up in defense, shaking his head side to side. “Well, I saw your skin, but I didn’t look past your feet...or your arms...or your legs.”

You laughed. “You’re not really helping your case, you know?”

You watched as Grayson’s face turned red from his ears to his forehead, down the bridge of nose and fully on the apples of his cheeks. 

He reached out and grabbed your wrist, still avoiding your eyes until he pulled you out of your seat. His eyes looked almost completely gold in the direct silent and he stared at you with this sad, innocent look.  He continued to pull you toward him until the skin exposed by your shorts was touching his. You sat on his lap, something telling you that’s what he wanted.  He responded by cupping your chin and pulling you into the kiss.  Time was fleeting in that moment, the only thing breaking you apart was the sound of Grayson’s alarm going off to alert him he was already missing his shift.

~

When you got ready for “bed” that night, you were ecstatic. It reminded you of when you were younger and your mother would buy you new pajamas.  You would rush through your shower, halfheartedly go through your nightly routine, but take your time putting on your new sleep clothes.  

Today, you relished in the whole experience.  With a bit of daylight you were able to prep your hair and brush your teeth while staring in the shattered glass you used for a mirror.  In the corner of your “closet” you had tucked away your swimsuit to see if it would blend in.  There were a few cloths and towels used to keep the deck dry when the dolphins occasionally wet the top of the roof from splashing around.  If you placed your new clothing under it strategically, no one would notice. You hoped.

You put on the swimsuit slowly, relishing the smooth fabric.  You remembered hating swimsuit shopping as a teen.  It felt like a spotlight to all your friends: who was developing too fast and who wasn’t developing fast enough.  You only went once. Once your mother found out, you were banned from swimming trips for obvious reasons.  However, that one shopping experience made you grateful that for once your “condition” was working in your favor.

In contrast, this felt like a second skin.  You didn’t know much about swimsuits, but you could tell this was a decent quality.  You slipped your arm through the straps and adjusted the suit to your body.  Your turned to look at the scoop neck in the back.  It looked so good! It hugged you in the right places and made you feel like a model.  You smiled to yourself wondering if Cameron helped him to pick it out.

The sound of your cell closing snapped you to attention.  You jumped inside the tank as fast as you could, sinking to the bottom.  You hugged yourself on the way down, hoping to cover the white part of your swimsuit.  Your eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness and you opened them to watch the top of your cell close completely.  The sun was still up higher than usual, but which made you a little worried.  When you didn’t hear any footsteps on the roof, your heart started to pound.

While the experiments thrived on the element of surprise, there were signs you picked up over the years.  There was going to be an experiment tonight and Pete was going to know that someone else knew your secret.

~

Ethan scratched the back of his head as he looked in the mirror.  He looked at Ryan with a quirked eyebrow before looking back at himself.

“Ryan, there is no way anyone is going to fall for this.” Ethan said, gesturing at the blonde wig on his head.  

Ethan spent the last ten minutes adjusting the wig, but it was hard to deny the unnatural part between his wispy bangs and the bowl cut that made his head look circular.  He was wearing a tan suit that clearly didn’t fit him because they got it at a thrift store. He was also still wearing his sneakers that were beat up from skating and biking everywhere.  The only thing that made him look a little better were his glasses and backpack.  Even with that, Ethan was sure he looked more like a gigolo than a lab assistant.

Ryan, who had his disguise tailor made from previous expose series, actually looked like a scientist.  He had a sleek dark haired wig that made him look like Dracula’s sunkissed cousin, in a good way. He was wearing a properly fitted gray suit with a white button down, opened at the top two buttons.

“You will be surprised.” Ryan grinned.  “Scientists don’t dress much better than this.”

“I feel like that was just rude to scientists everywhere.” Ethan shook his head.

“Perhaps.” Ryan agreed. “But they will thank us when we reveal this to the world.  A true scientist would never let whatever Pete is doing continue, even in the name of science.  This was a great catch, E.”

Ethan nodded, but he couldn’t speak.  The costume he was wearing distracted Ethan from what was really bothering him, the truth.  With a bit of digging, it wasn’t super hard to find an underground community of “intellectuals” that liked to find and view exotic animals in captivity.  Among the listings of tigers, bears, and rare snakes, there was a posting with an address nearby to Pete’s Ocean Land.   It advertised an exclusive viewing of a rare species you had to see to believe.  Up front, it cost $10,000 to view, a deterrent for most people on the site.  It shocked Ethan that Ryan easily coughed up $20,000 for their attendance.

“If this is what we think it is, we will get our return, ten fold.” Ryan explained with a shrug.

Still, that was as much as Ethan and Grayson had left to raise to get to Los Angeles. With Grayson splurging on swimsuits for you, even Ethan was starting to have dark thoughts on how to make money using your unique gifts.  He shook the thoughts out of his head.  Not only would exploiting you hurt you, but it would hurt both of his siblings who had taken a liking to you. There was, of course, the fact that Ethan himself enjoyed the fact that you made Grayson happy and he was certain he would be good friends with you too if he hadn’t been spending all his time trying to save you.

When Pete took the money and sent them the meeting location, Ethan wasn’t surprised. He was sure that Pete would have asked for more if he could reveal what the “exotic creature” was, but using the term “mermaid” would ruin all chances of keeping this under wraps.  

With their luck, Pete happened to have a showing planned that night.  It made Ethan grateful that you and Grayson had your date the night before.  Ethan worried what would have happened if Pete revealed his “monster” and you were nowhere to be found.  In his humiliation, Pete could do unthinkable things to you upon your return.

“You ready?” Ryan asked, adjusting his suit jacket more out of habit than necessity.

“Let’s go, boss.” Ethan said, trying to rehearse his character.

“It’s doctor, assistant.” Ryan corrected with a smirk.  “Now remember, the eye glasses are going to capture everything you see and maybe even better than you see it.  The pen in your lapel will capture audio as well.  I will also have the same equipment, so don’t worry if something malfunctions.  The tech is pretty advanced, so don’t feel like you have to move closer to capture anything better.  Act natural.”

“Got it, doctor.” Ethan said, teasingly.

Ryan nodded and they locked up the shop.  They got into a rental car they got for the occasion and drove to the meet up location, a cafe near to Pete’s Ocean Land.  Ethan could hear his heart thundering in his ears.  He debated telling Grayson what was going on, but he didn’t want to worry his twin without a guarantee of relief.  Keeping this secret from Grayson and keeping the truth from Ryan at the same time made Ethan’s head want to explode.  He steadied himself by holding his knees as they drove in the car.  In a few minutes, it would all be revealed.

~

You pressed your hands against the bottom of your cell.  The water felt extremely heavy today, like it was actually trying to crush you. You knew that you were actually feeling your own fear in the water.  It was surging out of you and stinging your nerves.  This was the life story of your water: pain, fear, coldness and...

His warmth

You felt it. It was a little tremor of softness in the water.  Almost every part of your body felt like it was being strangled, but right in the center of your chest was a softness.  It was the moment when you and he realized the other wasn’t a threat.  It was the warmth of happiness.

Just as the water started to lighten up, a bright light stung your eyes.  You didn’t scream, as that would have caused you to fill with water.  After all, you still had lungs, just a breathing capacity greater than the average human.  You laid still on the bottom of the tank, still under the pressure of the water.  You couldn’t see or hear anything.  You assumed it was for the better.  How disgusting would it be to hear how your uncle sold you to others as a monster?

You wondered if the person who brought you toothpaste was there. They figured out how to access the roof and would often leave it at the side of your tank.  They would whisper apologies to you that you never accepted, with words nor with your heart. After all, they were as much to blame as anyone else.

The hate in your heart made the water unbearable and it only caused the light to sting your head even more.  You did your best to keep your eyes shut. A happy place no longer existed during times like these. Instead you counted from 1 to 1000.  Like clockwork, the pain would start around 50.

~

Pete met Ethan and Ryan at the cafe looking nothing like himself.  He too was wearing a disguise, but Ethan found it foolish.   Pete looked ridiculous with a fake bald head cap, a prosthetic potbelly and a few false moles on his cheek and chin. Ethan resisted adjusting his glasses to ensure that the future audience got a better look. 

Pete looked at them before his face split in half with a smile. “You boys chose a great time to reach out.  These showings are usually varied for security reasons.”

“We understand.” Ryan confirmed, his voice sounding raspier than usual.  If you didn’t know it was Ryan, however, the voice sounded natural. “We know how difficult things in our business can be.”

“You said it best doctor!” Pete commended him.  “Now, what sorts of research are you interested in?”

“Oh, I am looking for unknown species.” Ryan said, a tip from Ethan who said that he believed whatever Pete was hiding was something no one had ever imagined.  “Or at least extremely rare.”

Even with the disguise, it was easy to see Pete’s face light up. He licked his lips as he started walking, gesturing for the two men to follow.

“Then you are in the right place Dr. Schwartz.” Pete said, using the undercover name Ryan chose with ease.

Ethan did his best to figure out his surroundings.  While it looked like they were going into a facility concealed by trees and protected by industrial fences, Ethan recognized it easily as the back of Pete’s Ocean Land.  It was far from where neighborhood kids would sneak in, and a lot more secure.  There were no gaps in fences and the actual entrance required a key to get in. When they entered through the large, opaque gray gate, they were immediately met with a back door.  More locks and typing into keypads ensued as Ethan and Ryan trailed Pete behind long hallways.

They finally saw a room with light at the end of the hall and walked into to see a few more people sitting in chairs.  Some were holding cups of water or coffee, while others seemed to be more preoccupied with their phone.  Ethan looked around, smiling softly to look friendly while also making sure to capture everyone’s faces. There were about six people including Ryan and Ethan that were at this viewing and Ethan didn’t recognize any of them.  He wondered how far people came to see this “mysterious, rare creature.”

“Thank you for coming here today, honored guests.” Pete said, jovially.  He was putting on an accent, but Ethan couldn’t place it.  It was like watching a terrible school play where the teacher takes on the lead role and butchers it.  “I will not bore you with semantics, but we have newcomers so I must tell you the rules.”

Pete walked to the center of the room where all eyes were on him.  In the lighting, his disguise looked every more fake, but so did everyone else.  It made sense.  If there were real scientists in here, no one would want to be associated with something like this.

“Number one, no pictures or video.  It ensures the safety of the animal during testing.”

‘Animal?’ Ethan thought, his stomach curdling.  He controlled his rage, trying to relax his eyebrows and jaw from their current tense state.  Under no circumstances would he ruin this operation before they saw their mission through.

“Number two, this is a closed community.  All leads to potential viewers must be put through me.” Pete gestured with open hands around the room. “Please don’t ruin this experience for your fellow enthusiasts by potentially letting in a mole.”

Ethan was glad there wasn’t a lie detector because even he was aware at how much he was sweating.  His throat was getting dry, but he dared not cough at such a terrible time.

“Number three, no speaking of this in writing on any forum outside of messages to me.  You may speak to each other, in person, but avoid phone calls.  Anything can be traced and will ruin the opportunity for future viewings.”

Pete clapped his hands together.  “I know the rules are boring, but are there any questions before we get started?”

“What about private viewings?” Someone from the back asked.

Pete’s smile morphed into something so twisted and evil that Ethan could only describe it as his face splitting in two.  Ethan knew that there was going to be very few things that could scare him more than the sick look on Pete’s face.

“Yes, those are available on request at $20,000 for half an hour.” Pete explained matter-of-factly.  

“Isn’t that quite steep?” Ryan asked, putting up his hand.

Pete gestured to Ryan with his thumb, looking at the rest of the group. “Newcomers, am I right?”

There was light laughter, but it was forced and most likely laced with guilt.  Without any other questions, Pete led the group down more twisting and turning hallways.  It looked so much like Pete’s Ocean Land to Ethan and, he was sure, anyone from his area would agree when the video came out.

Finally, the stopped at a dark tank. The anticipation was building.  For Ethan it was like coming into a movie theater and waiting for the previews to start.  Pete walked to the back and hit a switch. A light from the bottom of the tank, a gasp leaving both Ryan and Ethan’s lips simultaneously.

When Grayson told Ethan how you looked that night, Ethan wasn’t sure what to make of it. Now that he saw it in person, he understood why Grayson’s description was all over the place.  

How could someone describe something so beautiful? 

If Ethan were to attempt it, he would equate it to looking for gems in rocks.  He watched a few videos online of people searching canyons for amethyst.  They would feel the thickness of a rock and inspect closely.  Then with a hammer, the would hit and chip away at the thick gray block until in broke open.  The viewers’ eyes were instantly flooded by gorgeous, sparkling purple that dazzled the mind.  

That was the only way Ethan could describe your skin. 

In uneven patches, there were turquoise colored gem-like patches all over your body. Your hair looked dark blue in the lighting, swirling around as you remained in your tight, curled up position. In the darkness of the deep water, it was easy to imagine how you would blend in from above, however, under this harsh light there was nowhere to hide. 

“Our newcomers, I present to you a real life mermaid.” Pete announced with a chuckle.  “Very little is known about them.  How many there are, how they came to be, how dangerous..., but I can tell you what we know.”

Ethan glanced at Ryan who was stone cold.  Sure, it was obvious that the thing they were staring at did not look like anyone else in this room.  However, it was clear that it had legs and other human limbs.  It was a young girl, and the tightness in Ryan’s face showed that he knew that.

Pete continued as he walked to the side of the tank.  He squinted at the hunched over figure as if noticing something strange, but he didn’t address.  Instead, he stood in front of a control center. There were four levers, multiple buttons in different colors and absolutely no labels.

“What we do know is that, they have legs like us and when dry, they blend in with the rest of us.  However, in water, they are magnificent.  While we haven’t had the joy of cutting one open...”

Ethan quelled a gasp at that remark.

“...we do have reason to believe that they have lungs.  They grow the capacity to survive underwater.  The specimen you see here could only last underwater for eight hours without drowning when she was first rescued.  Now, she can go for as long as 27 hours.”

Tears stung Ethan’s eyes.  Rescued? What a load of bull.  He couldn’t help, but feel sorry for you.  How long were you trapped in there when you couldn’t breathe? Did you scream? Did he watch you suffer?

“They are also incredible swimmers.  We will see that in the next few tests.” Pete paused, as if he was getting ahead of himself.  “In fact, let me just show you now...”

tw: mentions of abuse, panic attacks, electrocution

Ethan could feel himself sweating again as the sound of his heartbeat became deafening. His head felt like it was going to split open at his forehead with a warm heat settling at the center of it.  He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking and he glanced around to see everyone else’s reactions.  It was stone cold.  It was like they were waiting for the bus or sitting through the intermission of their kids game. Ryan was the only one as terrified as Ethan, but Ethan knew that only he could tell.

Pete hit a button on his control panel, his eyes locked on the crowd. Behind him, your body twitched violently, almost involuntary.  You released yourself from your crunched position your legs flailing.  Your arms soon followed suit and you were rushing toward the top of the tank.

“If you come closer...” Pete said, gesturing with his hands for people to come forward, without looking back at you.  “You can see how it naturally glides through the water. Almost like flippers.”

“But those are feet...” Ryan asked, as he moved closer along with the rest of the group.  “Feet of a girl?”

Pete scoffed. “We try not to anthropomorphize the creature.”

Ethan’s eyes bulged out of his head.  Well, someone clearly swallowed a dictionary in an effort to justify his bigotry. What an asshole.

“Besides, a human can not do what I am about to show you.” Pete hit another button and Ethan watched in horror as you slowly started to fall to the bottom of your cell.

~

Hot. Hot. Hot.

That’s what it felt like, but all over your skin.  You assumed it was little bits of electricity, which was already damaging to anything in water.  However, for you those little bursts was like getting pricked with a thousand thorns.  Even at the lowest of voltages it was like getting pins and needles after your foot fell asleep. The pain came from the bottom of your cell, so you always swam upward to get some relief.  

This time, you were determined to free yourself. You were attempting to go through the crack at the top of your cell. Your fingers even felt a bit of the cool air.  Hope quelled in your heart as Grayson’s face flashed in your mind.

Then suddenly another large shock ripped through your cell.  

This one you could see.  It was a white flash that went diagonally across the opening of your cell. You could feel it, splitting your arm that was extended out toward your freedom.  You didn’t want to lose air, so you focused on holding your breath, falling down like leaf to the bottom of your cell, cradling you arm.

You couldn’t see anything with the bright lights flashing into your cell, but you could see your blood, a very dark red color mixing with the water. Through your squinted eyes, you could see your skin covering itself with it’s turquoise patterned scales, trying to rebuild.  It wasn’t something you could control and it only happened when you were in water. You shivered thinking about how you learned these two facts about yourself.  The knives jammed into your thighs and dragged down to your legs, while your screams were silenced with the help of a balled up towel shoved between your lips.  

As the memories of private experiments on the viewing table flooded your mind, you were almost grateful to be inside of your cell.  In comparison this stuff was a cake walk and the show had just begun.

~

“What human do you know that can heal like that?” Pete asked Ryan.  “That’s what I thought.” Pete didn’t leave Ryan any room to even respond before he added in that jab.

“Think about how many lives it could save...” Pete said to the rest of the crowd.  “Soldiers, burn victims, skin cancer survivors...the best technology we could ask for.”

Another button was pushed, another electric shock.  This one was so painful, your eyes opened wide as slashes appeared on your legs and upper arms.  Ethan closed his eyes, but didn’t turn away in an effort to allow the viewers to see the horror.  He would never be able to get your eyes out of his mind.  Under water, your eyeballs were a dark blue with no sign of pupils, with little streaks of gold striping through it.  It was almost like looking at a Greek statue where you couldn’t actually see the details of your eyes.

And yet, he could see so much pain.

tw end

The moment the “show” was over, Ethan was secretly texting Grayson on his phone.  It wasn’t easy. He was alternating from angling his body to different sides, using the shadows of the room to conceal his behavior.  

Ethan knew that if he were caught by Pete, this would ruin everything.  However, there was no time.  The last few tests left you unresponsive.  Ethan was sure that Pete was not done with you.  Pete had to see his guests off to prevent any wandering, but once people were gone, you were going to experience hell.  

With a final few taps, Ethan slipped his phone into his pocket as casually as he could.

“Can I ask you more about the private showing?” Ethan asked, and Pete smiled, greedily. 

“I’ll give you all the options and their prices...” Pete agreed.

~

This was the worst part. When the lights turned off and you realized you were all alone.  Your body was trying to rebuild itself while your mind did its best to keep you under water. It was hard to hold your breath when you were in so much pain, but you needed to heal in order to escape and you couldn’t heal if you were drowning.

The sound of the top of tank being slowly cranked open caused a gasp to rip from you, taking your last bits of oxygen.  As you swam to the top to get air, you realized that this would put you face-to-face with Pete, the first time in years since actually truly seen your uncle.  Everything was coming back to you: the pain, the torture, the abandonment, and it only made you angrier. 

You decided this was it.  You were going to finally fight back.

[bearpillowmonster]

YAKUZA KIWAMI 2

Yeah, this is the one with the door meme.

Graphics are improved from Kiwami 1 but the animations are still a bit stiff at times since it's based on a PS2 game. I liked the map of the first game and I got used to it but this one has a new map plus visitation to the old map so in my opinion, that automatically makes it better.

It's been about a year since I played Kiwami, as well as a year in-game, so what's new? Vending machines. Some new mini games. It doesn't show its hand at first but I feel like it adds a lot of new content, maybe not on the combat side of things but everything surrounding it makes it feel like a more complete experience.

You can fight in the stores and tear stuff up. And if you do, you can't buy from there until its cleaned up. I actually kinda like that detail even if it can be inconvenient, it gives you reason to control the situation but almost makes me WANT to bring thugs into places just to be chaotic.

The interface has changed a little but I can't tell if it's clearer or not, I'm indifferent. There are also side jobs now which act as side quests, like being a bouncer which basically acts as a Collesseum. You can even manage a cabaret. These aren't really mandatory but fun little additions and give more initiative to do more side stuff.

The story feels like where it would naturally go but I do feel that the setting can be changed. We spend just a little too much time in Kamurocho compared to Sotenbori. I've seen and fought in a lot of these places and while the scenes and setups are different...do we need another funeral fight? In fact it goes out of its way to include it because it starts with a small skirmish then has you leave and go back to town, so sure, ok, they know that it's similar but then it has you come right back once the funeral is over and do the run sequence and boss 😂 I'll admit that it's a shorter sequence than last time and doesn't take place at the very beginning though. It also made for one of my favorite fights thus far. He used a sword, I used a knife and still kicked his arse.

It has some really good shots but it feels the need to keep reiterating itself and telling the viewer what they're seeing. There's a scene at the beginning where it shows a sign to show you the setting (in Japanese mind you, so I can only assume it said Sotenbori but it looked cool!) then pans down to Kiryu, it then flashes back to just before then with the woman telling him about her son, explaining why he's there and then it shows the sign AGAIN and pans down to Kiryu in a different manner than before. It's like they had scenes in mind but weren't sure which perspective to use so they just use both. This doesn't really affect the story, just the visual nature and sometimes makes the characters seem dense. For another example, there's a time where someone mentions 'fireworks' in a cutscene and then Kiryu basically goes "I wonder what that means" and then he hears a commotion and is like "Must be the fireworks." Then they show an explosion on TV "Those must be the fireworks." No dip Sherlock, I think the audience can put that together. I'm viewing this from a movie standpoint because there are so many cutscenes (which isn't a problem but you're going to bring out another critique in me) I talked about how bored I was with Xenoblade's cutscenes, this isn't quite at that level but while this game drags sometimes, it has some really good highlights.

I'll be honest, I was against playing Yakuza 0 whenever I started this series because it just looked overrated but now I think the more of these games that I play, the more I wouldn't mind playing it. Especially seeing clips of it in the karaoke (and maybe seeing that Yuki is in both)

As far as length goes, I spent about 17 hours on the first Kiwami and while I did do more side-quests with this one, I never would've expected it would put me over 26 hours! So really, this game improves on the last one in almost every aspect, making it the superior model.

[selie1412-blog]

 Lets see how many Waluigi fans I can trigger with this post. Super Smash Bros Ultimate will be my first video game review. I believe everyone of there internet is familiar with this game series by now. If not, then what rock have you been living under for the past 20ish years.

The review will be split into two parts. First the review for the storyline, and then the review for the multiplayer section. It will become obvious as you continue reading. I sure hope you do so...

Spoilers of the story mode will be shown below. Proceed with caution. 

Super Smash Bros Ultimate: 

With an arsenal of 76 fighters to choose from and various assist trophies, cough Waluigi cough, from many different games and pokemon to also join in the battle the possibility for this game seems endless. Although, then Mr. Sakurai of course had to go above and beyond literally everyone’s expectations to add the spirits section which includes characters from countless other games, adding approximately 1200 new characters to the game. (I know that there is more than this, but the last hundreds is just spirits of all the fighters so I was not counting them.)

Summary: 

The World of Light story mode for Smash Ultimate takes place when a new villain, Galeem, eliminates all the fighters and brainwashes them into serving its needs - basically turning them into his puppets. This all goes along to its plans except for the precious start child, Kirby, Mr. Sakurai’s beloved creation (well other then the entire Smash series). Kirby is then faced to *read in Morgan Freeman's voice* save the entire world! Then after beating Galeem for the first time a new villian emerges from the darkness, Dharkon, who seems to hold an impressive grudge again Galeem. The two seem to be in a constant battle with the recovered fighters only watching from the sidelines as their battle takes place. 

For the multiplayer section of the game the format of it has changed drastically from Smash 3 and Smash 4 respectively Smash 3Ds and Smash Wii U. The rule section is now a mandatory passage into the game and the stage selection now comes before the character selection. The rules also can not be changed once you select them unless you back out all the from the match to change them. Multiple other features have also been implemented such as smashdown and a tournament mode. Spirits can also be used in multiplayer battle as well between friends.

Review:

I have to give some kudos (Shinichi AUGGGG!!! Sorry little fangirl episode. I apologize for the interruption.) to the story line overall. The plot was something unique and unexpected, and oddly entertaining considering the sheer lack of cutscenes and lore to go along with it. Being able to come up with a interesting storyline like it has after the Subspace Emissary is quite impressive. When watching through the Smash Directs waiting for the game to release I absolutely knew that there was going to be a new story mode to go along with this game, but I was unsure on what exactly it was going to be because the Subspace Emissary seems almost perfect. The World of Light appears to be a battle of good and evil where one can not appear without the other, yet can not survive without each other. I believe MatPat's description of the lore can be one possible interpretation of the story mode, but I also believe that there are others as well. In creating my review of this integration I did use The Game Theory’s theory for some inspiration and guidance, so I will be drawing off of that as a source. 

Galeem and Dharkon physically seem to represent light and darkness respectively, so it would be obvious that they would be enamines. Then why do they both encapture all of the fighters who are supposed to be on the good side. Why would they both do so. Well the short and simple answer of that is that, as the cut senses show that is not the point. In the aspect of Galeem and Dharakon the fighters are meaningless, they have no value. Going back to the origin of it all, the fighters are supposed to simply represent a child playing with them and bringing them to life. In a matter of light and darkness the person playing or controlling the figure decides on how that they will behave. By the fighters being abducted by Galeem and Dharkon itis a simple change of hands. I mean even Master hand, general of Galeem, and then Crazy Hand, general of Dharkon, can easily represent order and discord. Each are traits of it varios counterparts. We, the player, are simply spectators watching a match between rivals of sorts. Each side has a general, 3 captains, various amounts of sargents (being the abducted characters), and then plentiful amounts of pawns (being the Spirits themselves). This battle we witness between the two is an war between light and darkness. 

The ending of story more is only obtained through defeating both Galeem and Dharkon at the same time. This is the true ending which will set all the spirits free. If only defecting a single one then the other will destroy the world. Each which is called the bad ending. This true ending then meaning that light can not exist without darkness and then darkness can not exist without light. If simply darkness exists then the world will be thrown into chaos and discord while is only light exists then nothing would get done and everything will cease to exist. A balance is needed for harmony to happen. Throughout the final map of the game as spirits were defeated Galeem and Dharkon constantly fought for power to overtake the other. The player, not shown, represent this balancing act. The act of calming and defeating both of the large giants restored order to the world, adn allowed life to continue. Quoting Kingdom Heart, (Its a good game series lay off!) “ The closer you get to the Light, The Greater Your Shadow Becomes.” In order to maintain a balance as light grows the darkness should also grow. As the balancer in the game you are returning balance to the world that was taken out of balance when Galeem first tried to overtake Dharkon by taking all of the fighters into its own ‘hand’, and then when it was taken out by the balancer the shift in powers went over to Dharkon who’s power rose. Think of it as a see-saw, as one side rises the other sinks, but if you then release the side the rose it will then sink and the other side will rise.

(Wow! That was a lot of writing just on the lore, lol. I congratulate all who actually read through that.)

The playthrough of the story mode itself I was sadly a bit disappointed int. With The Subspace Emissary you could play multiplayer and there was even some playforming that characters could travers. I was sad when both of those features were taken out of the game. The graphics of the story mode itself was impressive though. I could see the real dedication to each aspect of the map, and how they tried to fit each portal area to a certain theme to a game. Like there was a Monster Hunter area, Bowser's Castle, Legend of Zelda, and a Castlevania. The avatar of every single character was impressive as well. I mean creating all of the sprites especially fro this one small thing was no small feat, so that trait I appreciated. I know the big theme for Smash Ultimate is, “Got to go fast” as quoted from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, but sometimes its a little nice to stop and smell the roses. Like in the story mode! I would honestly sacrifice about half of the spirit battles in spirit mode to have some fun platform levels of some sort. Even if it was just put in as minigames I would be happy. Like Hit the Target or Find the Exit from melee, or maybe even just reskining some of the platform levels from Subspace with a HD addition to it and throwing it into World of Light. Any of that would be amazing! I believe that added a lot of fun to the overall story mode itself, and it was one of the main reasons that made me actually want to replay and beat the story mode multiple times because it was something a bit different from the rest of the game. It made the story mode very unique, and it made it stand out.

As for the multiple player section there was a number of new additions and fighting formats that actually improved the overall experience and gameplay of it, but there was also some aspect that made me frustrated at. My favorite aspects by far was the implications of the smash down and tournament sections. The have finally added a tournament section, and that makes me soooooo happy! I no longer have to make homemade tournament charts!!! T^T The shashdown is also very helpful to play with people who are really only good with one person, and that one person can pretty much wipe you out no matter what you do. It adds a lot of fairness to the game which succeeds in making it a lot more fun for the people out there who are good at a lot of characters, but not really good at just one (I actually sit in between these people. I have 3 mains who I like to fight as a lot, but I am decent at pretty much everyone else in the game. Well except for Mr. Game and Watch and Olimar. My mains by the way are: Mewtwo, Ganondorf, and Lucas.)

My main drawback with the multiplayer section of the game is actually how the rule selection is set up. For tradition Smash mode you have to go through the process of first choosing your rules for the match, picking you stage, and then choosing you fighter. This is path you always have to go down when entering in the smash mode after exiting the game. if you finish a match it just takes you back to the stage selection section. The problem exists when you finish a match, but you realize you made a mistake in the rule creation. In order to fix it you first have to back all the way out of the match, then open up the select rules tab that you specifically created for this match set, then edit what you want, finally save it, and then back out after selecting it and proceeding onto the rest of the match. Now this would not be as much as a problem if you were able to set a rule tab as default, so you could enterally skip that one step and continue onto the match. Also, if you were allowed to edit the rules while inside the match selecting process such as when you are choosing you stage because you forgot to turn off the stage morph or stage hazards or you start selecting you character and realize that the match is still on time and not on stock. If these features were implemented then the rule section would only need to be opened when it was needed to create a new set of rules. I am not saying that I dislike the aspect of creating a custom set of rules to use for match because I think that is a very nice user friendly option for the players, but I do think that it need a little more work to be better. This is a new feature that just needs a few bugs worked out, and the it would be perfect.

For the fighters and the battles themselves, I have stated previously that the theme of Smash Ultimate is, “Gotta Go Fast,” so that is what everything is. The speed of all the characters have improved - making all the heavy characters now usable competitively - as well as the final smashes. This speed change has really made the game itself into the fastest, most adgil, and adaptive are the best. So it is no surprise that Sonic, Mewtwo, and Inkling has all made it into the top tiers for being if not the fastest, most adgil, and adaptive characters in the game respectively. The final smashes on most of the characters have changed in one way or another, some for the better and some for the worse.  There is now a feature also to do diagonal air doges as well which helps out considerable for air movement and combat. Also the idea of perfect shielding has been improved, so it grants the player a chance attack the opponent when their defences are down a bit. There is not really much else to say in this area.

I am not going to touch on the classic mode much or the all-star mode much because they are pretty much the same as the previous game. Classic mode you fight about 6 battles with the last being either Master Hand or both Master Hand and Crazy hand at varying levels of difficulty. All-star mode is continuous matches with short breaks in between which goes on until you fight and defect every single smash fighter. I will only say this, which I have already stated before, I missed the small platforming levels inside Classic mode. It added something different to the overall flow which was a nice change of pace and mixed up the game some. 

Overall Smash Ultimate is an amazing game that has blown not only mine but everyone elses socks off. From the vast amount of characters included to the thoughtful and in depth storyline, and all of the new features that it includes. I sincerely believe that Mr. Sakurai has outdone himself, and is in need of a well needed vacation. He has done an amazing job at trying his best at making every fan and every series present in this game feel loved. With all of that though I will be honored to give Super Smash Bros Ultimate an astounding score of a 9/10. Splitting each part up into its various categories the World of Light Story mode receives a not too shabby 8.5/10. This is because of the lack of platforming areas (tear) and for the lack of official lore or true story line which has left a lot of fans trying to actually deceivers what it means, me included (given my own interruption above). Then with the multiplayer section receiving an impressive 9.5/10. Only docking off points for the wonky rules section which could possibly be fixed in a later update. 

Once again thank you very much for reading my update. If you actually succeeded in reading all of it. I apologize it was a bit long this time around, but there was a lot of content I had to cover.  If you have any further comments or additions I may have missed please put them in the comments below or simply PM me. Again, I will state this every time, if anyone has any requests for anything they wish for me to review in the future please once again post them in the comments below or PM,

Finally, if anyone is interested you are welcome to join my discord server where we will talking about various anime, manga, video games, and other sources of media. I have posted the link below! :)

 https://discord.gg/tvBR8Jn

[element-effect-blog]

4 Ways To Differentiate Yourself Using Video in Your Sales Process

“So… tell me why you’re different.”

This is a statement most salespeople (and marketers) fear.

The truth is... if you’re already hearing this statement, it’s too late.

Early in my sales career, I learned just how hard it can be to identify the differentiating factors of your organization and articulate them in a meaningful way to others.

In fact, it’s something most businesses constantly struggle with and I’d be lying if I said we have it completely figured out even here at IMPACT. (I'll be talking all about this at IMPACT Live this year.)

Salespeople typically react by listing off the three bullet points t they think makes them and the organization they’re representing sound unique compared to the others the prospect is talking with.

But why is it so hard to do well? Does it ever even work?

Why is Differentiation So Hard?

These struggles exist because differentiation is a lot like company culture.

In fact, many times, the latter is used as an example of the former!

“We’re different because we have an amazing company culture. Our core values are X, Y, and Z.”

Have you seen / heard this before? Yes you have.

An organization’s differentiating qualities will not resonate if they’re solely stated out of context, written down somewhere on a web page or an email, or are graphically designed on an interior wall in the office.

In order for differentiation (or culture) to resonate, it must be lived and shown.

One way we’re doing this more at IMPACT is through the use of video.

Below, I’ll be sharing four ways IMPACT uses video during the sales process to create a more memorable, remarkable, and differentiating experience.

But First, Why Video?

A 30-year engineering veteran at a mid-size manufacturing firm is human.

A busy, “High D” on the DISC chart, executive at a Fortune 1000 financial firm is human.

No matter who you’re talking to on a sales call, that person is human, first and foremost.

This year at , I’ll be talking about this concept of using video in sales and how it contributes to the most human experience you can have, short of communicating with someone who is standing right next to you.

(Don’t have your ticket yet? before prices go up!)

The best part is, creating a “human” experience in sales by leveraging video is not something most prospects have become accustomed to yet.

So, this approach in itself is a differentiating factor.

If that’s not convincing enough, , by the year 2019, 80% of the content consumed online will be video-based.

It’s time to pay attention and start embracing it.

Here are four ways to start in your sales process.

1. Host Video Meetings Instead of Conference Calls

The easiest and fastest way to integrate video into your sales process is by ditching the use of telephones with your prospects and adopting a video meeting platform such as (what we use).

This might seem like a very “101” tactic, but many organizations have yet to rip the proverbial “telephone bandaid” off, so, it’s worth driving this point home.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that salespeople who do NOT leverage video are actually doing a disservice to prospects, and here’s why.

Without video, a salesperson is only able to accurately read one language - the prospect’s voice or tone. The prospect’s expressions and body language are completely left for assumption, and we all know how much can be read from these:

The prospect slouches back in their chair

The prospect continuously gazes to the right of the screen every few seconds

A nod

A yawn!

As a salesperson, it is your job to have a complete understanding of the prospect - as a human.

This goes beyond jotting down notes on their service needs, internal challenges, and future goals.

You need to know what makes them lean forward in the chair as opposed to lean back; what makes them stare intently at the computer screen instead of looking away, and what makes them laugh instead of yawn. This is next-level !

Understanding these “signals” creates the true connection that prospects want (and deserve) to establish prior to making any buying decision, making your conversations more valuable than those had with others, and widening the gap between your company and everyone else.

2. Send a Meeting Recap Video

The “Discovery” or “Exploratory” phase is arguably one of, if not, the most important part of the sales process.

I believe , a HubSpot Channel Account Manager, when she says, “The exploratory call is the new closing call.”

These initial calls set the tone and expectations for the rest of the sales process and, when done well, get the prospect excited about continuing the process with you.

At the end of that first call, there’s usually some calendar coordination for when the next meeting will take place, and more often than not, it will be several days out.

Prospects are as busy or busier than us sales folks, and as such, we need to be mindful that they may not be able to remember the minute details of the initial deep-dive call.

In the past, most salespeople have resorted to sending long-form, follow-up emails, detailing everything they can about the meeting and essentially creating a task for the prospect to review 500 words of copy just a few minutes before the next chat.

No one looks forward to doing that, nor is that any sort of remarkable experience for your prospect...

Instead, use a tool like to create a personalized, 3-5 minute video recap outlining the most important elements from the previous call, and what they’ll need to know to make the most out of the next call.

Spin up the email using a subject line such as, “[Video] Prospect Company + Your Company: A Recap From Our First Call Together.”

Then, in the first line of the email, let the prospect know that if they do nothing else except watch this video, they and anyone else who watches it will be fully up-to-speed and ready to tackle whatever comes next!

Then drop the trackable GoVideo link into the email just below, and monitor how much of the video your prospect watches.

Boom. You’ve turned what is typically a last-minute todo for the prospect into a helpful, highly engaging experience that they’ll actually look forward to.

3. Introduce Yourself “Face-to-Face”

When a website visitor decides to fill out a contact form with the intention of talking to a salesperson, a rapid response is the best way to ensure that you connect with them and get the appointment booked.

, 50% of buyers choose the vendor that responds first and there’s a 10x decrease in your odds of making contact with a lead AFTER the first five minutes.  

Clearly, a buyer’s first impression is influenced heavily by how fast an organization can react. However, no matter how fast you pick up the phone, that does not guarantee that you’ll effectively connect with them.

So, how else could a salesperson create a strong first impression without speaking to the prospect directly?

The standard, follow-up process that we’ve adopted over the years has been the tried-and-true “voicemail, then email” sequence with that process repeating over the course of several days until contact is made.

As we look to create a more human-to-human experience for prospects, we’re taking this one step further by including a personalized, video message in place of the standard follow-up email.

Rather than sending the same messages that they’ve read time-and-time again, we’re introducing ourselves and inviting the prospect into a conversation personally “face-to-face.”

Using video allows them to feel like they’ve actually met us even before we’ve spoke. They can hear our voice, see our expressions, and hopefully feel our genuine interest in helping them.

Here’s an example we’ve put together using Vidyard’s GoVideo:

With once again, you can record a short, personalized message for the prospect. The tool even allows you to import the video image as a GIF into the email, simulating a short clip of what the prospect is about to click on and watch.

Also, using something like “[Video]” at the beginning of the subject line immediately creates differentiation between your email and the rest as most sales emails can’t promise a visual experience inside.

4. Create a Video Executive Summary

In the early stages of the sales process, a salesperson may only have access to front-line members of the prospect’s team, but as it progresses to a “presentation” stage, the stakes become higher for everyone involved as they approach a decision-making point.

Prospects typically take one of two paths:

Work within their organizations to create a buying committee that might include a few more of their colleagues as well as the decision maker.

Assume the full responsibility of making the call on whether or not your product or solution is the right fit, and will pitch it themselves.

The second path, which happens more often than not, is certainly the more difficult for a salesperson to follow during the presentation stages as it removes their ability to influence a decision maker directly.

It also introduces a host of communication challenges as the delivery of the presentation must be redelivered from the prospect, to their boss, and potentially to the boss’ boss.

If you’ve ever played the game “telephone,” you know what happens -- the message gets lost in translation.

What might’ve been the best presentation you’ve ever delivered becomes a muddied, out-of-context summary.

So, how does a salesperson ensure their message is delivered accurately, and does not undermine the prospect’s communication abilities?

The solution for salespeople even to this day, has been to create an executive summary.

This would typically be a one-page, written document that serves as the first page of a proposal, or is sent in tandem with a presentation, and outlines some very high-level points about “what’s inside.”

While the concept remains strong, there’s more that salespeople can do to make it more memorable and engaging using video.

But this doesn’t mean simply sending the executive the full 72-minute video recording of the presentation meeting. It will never be watched.

Instead, there are three things that need to happen:

Set the expectation that the creation of this executive summary video is to support them and save both their and the decision-maker’s time in this process. This will help diffuse hurting the prospect’s feelings of, “the salesperson doesn’t think I can actually deliver the presentation to my boss.”

Package the video recording up in an email and allow the prospect to send it directly to their boss.

This type of approach ensures accurate delivery of your message, saves time for the prospect, and establishes a personal connection with the executive without having been able to meet them directly. Win, win, win.

Making Sales Human Again

I hope as you’ve read this article, you’ve been able to come to the realization that creating differentiation in the eyes of the prospect, is not defined by the three or four unique statements you can make about your own organization.

It’s about creating a delightful or even unexpected experience for the prospect.

At IMPACT, we’ve found that, in place of text-only emails or voice-only phone calls, we can better create these more human-to-human experiences by using video as the medium, and so can you!

Email is not dead. Neither are calls.

They are, however, getting much more difficult to garner the attention of people with, given the number of terribly unhelpful and annoying attempts most people receive on a daily basis.

Video and tools like GoVideo make creating a more delightful, unique sales experience easier than ever before.

During my talk at IMPACT Live 2018, I’ll dive deeper into how we’re using video to do this and more at IMPACT. I hope to see you there!

This content was originally published here.

[rpgmgames]

January’s Featured Game: Tales From Toppletown

DEVELOPER(S): Leirin ENGINE: RPGMaker 2003 GENRE: Quest-based RPG, Comedy SUMMARY: As a reclusive critter living in the woods, your roommate Pip one day urges you to head into town and meet new people. But there exists a strange giant lurking in the mountains to the north...could this be a friend, or a looming threat?

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hello! I'm Leirin - a freelance illustrator looking to get into the fine arts. I love video games very much and this is my first time trying my hand at them. Hopefully there will be more to come!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Leirin: I really liked the sort of "mental snapshot" aspect of games like Pen Pals, Very Pink Game, etc - and wanted to create something that was short, but warm and personal, too. Illustration can feel difficult to immerse people in, so giving them something directly interactive like a game is very challenging, but so far rewarding.

How long did you work on your project? *Leirin: Work began in late spring of 2018, so almost a year! (With many, many breaks to do other things along the way.)

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Leirin: I loved the Hamtaro games for the GameBoy and wanted to implement the format of interwoven character quests. The game's map is fairly small and confined, but I hoped it could still feel lively and populated like the areas in those games do. I also love For Frogs the Bell Tolls and it influenced a lot of the overworld graphics.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Leirin: I use a Mac, so everything has had to be run through Wine - which has its hiccups! Mainly, copying and pasting doesn't seem to work?? So if text needs to be repeated, I have to manually type it all over again. In the future, I might like to look into something more efficient, but even with the hurdles, I'm happy with how things are turning out. The other obstacle is just the fact that I am doing this all by myself, minus my two excellent composers, so it can be easy to feel overwhelmed! Just take breaks, and work on other things too - it'll help keep creative juices fresh for your project.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Leirin: There were a few points where I wanted to increase the scope of the game - I considered having battles and a more involved story at one point - but I knew that if I turned my first project into something really big, it just wouldn't get finished. So for the most part, it's been about sticking to the original vision of a short, whimsical game.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Leirin: The only other people on my project are my two composers - it was initially only Dustin van Wyk, then Twinkle Park joined the project and I am so thrilled with the music they both have written for the game. Indirectly, but I have also asked friends to contribute a few characters/character designs, as I wanted this to feel like a diverse town of people. I really love what they've come up with!

What was the best part of developing the game? *Leirin: Playtesting it. There's something a little unreal about interacting with your own creations, even if they just do everything exactly as you planned. (Well, if you programmed it right!)

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Leirin: Yes, I do. It can feel limiting at times but when I play the other terrific things made with 2003, I realize it's still got a lot of potential in it. I'm really looking forward to the new Melon Journey that's coming out, which looks amazing!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Leirin: Most relatable--Waffle Boy, who is malnourished and miserable from exclusively eating food from his workplace. As for favorite...she must stay a secret for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Leirin: There are maybe certain graphical aspects that are a little too plain/pedestrian that I would do more efficiently if I were starting the game now, but I think for a first project it looks pretty ok. What matters most is getting it done.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Leirin: Everything I create more or less exists nebulously in a shared space I've termed the "Fluorescent Zone". Everyone and everything is connected, but not always directly. I might create additional material for Toppletown after its release if people want it - detailed character profiles, for instance - but otherwise, if the characters resurface, they will probably be in very different roles.

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Leirin: I just really hope the game puts a smile on people's faces. It's a very simple and concise experience, but knowing that someone downloaded it and spent an enjoyable afternoon with it, or laughed at something in it, is valuable to me. And of course, I do hope people will draw fan art - receiving fan art makes me ecstatic!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Leirin: Again, some of the complications with creating the game from a Mac do make me worry on the technical side of things. There's also the usual catastrophes like everything getting destroyed in a fire or my laptop getting stolen, but that's the usual faire.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Leirin: Don't get too ambitious if you're approaching something new. Simple can still be really good and finishing something gives you the confidence to aim higher next time.

Question from last month's featured dev @torch60: What is the one biggest impression you want to leave on your players when they finish your game? *Leirin: A caring person is always nearer than you think.

We mods would like to thank Leirin for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Tales From Toppletown if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[mollysgame]

"Imagine: you're about to finally get married to the woman you love but instead of being excited you're panicking to your best man"

Inspired by Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie

warnings: this was so gross and happy okay i barely ever do this anymore. also there is a lot of dialogue between other characters!

[i do not own the gif above!]

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With your breath caught in your throat and the expensive material of your outfit clinging your back, your were hardly ready to just waltz out there. Ten minutes.

All you had was ten minutes to pull yourself together.

Your eyes were focused on the almost blinding white material of the tent you had gotten ready in. Brooke was staring at you and chewing on one of her manicured nails, even tugging her grey dress down as if she didn't know what to do with her hands. Audrey and you had decided to share bridesmaids, none specific to either of you as you loved all of them. But you did both have a best man to walk you down the isle. Neither of your father's were present, but that was okay. At least Audrey's father had let you eat dinner there once in a while. He was coming around you, Audrey had told you that she was never sure about anything with her father, but she did know he loved you both.

"Stavo will be back in a minute, he was just trying to find Noah to see how Audrey's doing." Brooke sounded slightly unsure and kissed your cheek quickly before running off, probably to find her on and off again boyfriend; your best friend. The funny thing about Stavo and Brooke was that they never seemed to realize how in love they were until they were apart.

One day they would figure it out; you were sure of it.

With Brooke off on a hunt for her boyfriend and Audrey and Noah getting ready not so far from you, you realized how quickly everything had happened. One day you had been pacing outside of a jewelry store and a month later you were bothering Foster.

Noah Foster. You chewed on your lip and let your mind drift to when you had spoken to Foster for the first time about marrying Audrey.

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"I have a ring. But you're her best friend, you've been there for everything with her. While you guys faced the murders I wasn't there for her. So I need your blessing, Foster."

"You make it sound like leaving was your choice. I was here because I had to be, Audrey and I have both told you that."

"I should have fought though. I shouldn't have let my father drag me away. He wasn't just worried that I would end up like my brother and he'd lose another kid. He was worried of being blamed for it. He was a coward. And I should have fought to stay."

"Y/N, what if you had of stayed and gotten hurt? What if you had been slaughtered like Will? Did you want to end up like your brother? Because you wouldn't be here today, shaking like I'm about to kick your puppy and asking me if you're allowed to marry Audrey. And just so you know, I've never been more excited for a wedding in my whole life."

"Thank you for being her friend, Foster. Sometimes I wonder if she even deserves a friend like you."

"She does. Well, now at least. She earned it. She just had to kidnap me once or twice and almost have me killed before she realized that."

"Right... Forgot about that actually. She's lucky to have us both I guess. And we're lucky to have her. I can't believe I'm going to finally ask her."

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Stack came bounding into the tent and almost had the whole thing crashing down before he steadied himself. You took one look at him and almost cried at the sight of your best friend and a freshly printed comic book in hand. Of course he had a graphic novel or comic with him, when did he not? But one look at the cover told you this was a special one.

"I had to unwrap a gift or two but I found something that will help you out I think. I just finished it last night. I think it's my best work yet."

His voice was soothing and slightly out of breath and you were reminded that Stavo was your Noah. He was the one that always had your back and knew how to help. Ironically, he was also the reason you had met Audrey. He'd warned you off her when you came back to Lakewood for your senior year of high school. Telling you that she wasn't a bad person but she wasn't "girlfriend material". But college came and everyone changed, leading to Stavo and Audrey becoming friends.

"You made me a comic book?" You voice wavered slightly and he seemed to beam at you, clearly pleased that you were no longer panicking.

He gestured for you to read it and you quickly opened the first page after smiling softly at the cover. It was a drawing of you in your wedding attire, holding Audrey's hand. You flipped through the pages and read a story about a disastrous wedding in which nothing was going as planned. Your character wound up running off with Stavo's character in tow and living in a a shack in the woods on the edge of Lakewood forever. Two spinsters making crafts and drawing graphic novels for the rest of their days.

"See? You have to get married today or you'll be stuck with me forever."

You began to laugh uncontrollably and Brooke had to carefully wipe tears from your eyes so your light amount of make up wouldn't smudge. This was why Stavo was your friend, he made you forget your insecurities and fears with a bunch of terrible jokes. He was also the most loyal person you had ever met.

"While that isn't the worst thing in the world, the only person I really want to be stuck with forever is Audrey," you said softly, grabbing Stavo's hand and squeezing tightly. He helped you stand up and stay steady before kissing your forehead. You could do this, especially with your best friend by your side. "Oh, did you ever get to Noah?"

Stavo tugged at the collar of his navy blue suit and looked away. "Yeah, he's just dealing with Audrey."

"Dealing with?" Suddenly you were feeling insanely nervous again, wondering if Audrey was planning on bolting. What if she wouldn't go through with it? Maybe you weren't the only one terrified.

"Relax, she's not going to run. She was freaking out about her hair and so Noah and I grabbed your presents to help distract you."

The wind started to pick up outside and you found yourself walking quicker but begging yourself to slow down. You were terrified of a million things in that moment. What if you went into the barn and Audrey didn't show up? What if the wedding was perfect and you somehow ruined it by stuttering or saying the wrong thing? The two of you were headed for the huge rustic barn that was designed for events like weddings. It was perfect for Audrey and you but suddenly it was looming and daunting all at once.

Stavo stopped walking and grabbed your shoulders, forcing you to meet his gaze. "You can do this. I know you, Y/N. This day has been fated since you and Audrey had that stupid argument about eighties romance movies at your first college party."

You giggled and bit your lip absentmindedly, remembering that dreadful party. Nothing stuck in your mind more than the end of your iconic 'fight'.

You had another argument prepared on how Say Anything was anything but tacky, your mouth open and your eyes holding a furious glint. Audrey had taken your hand, sending a sort of shock through your entire body. Your brow had been furrowed in confusion and Audrey had leaned in slowly, making it hard for you to continue breathing. "This party is pretty gay, any chance you want to get out of here?"

Stavo didn't notice your moment of reminiscing and continued his little speech. "If any couple is ever going to work out, it's you two. If you weren't ready, would you be here now? Look at Brooke and I; just because we aren't married doesn't mean we don't love each other. But if we were ready, we would be."

You felt your head moving up and down in a nod and tried to let his words sink in. He was right, if it wasn't supposed to happen, you wouldn't have let it. Some people spent their lives being married when it wasn't supposed to be, but you knew that you and Audrey would only do it if you meant it.

And you did.

You couldn't imagine a life without her curled up next to you, her bangs constantly covering her gorgeous eyes that seemed to do nothing but adore you and her hand clasped in your's. That was the kind of future you wanted.

All you had to do was take it.

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It was a completely unexplainable experience, watching her walk down the aisle towards you after you yourself had just come stumbling down it. She was far more graceful than you were, Noah's arm wrapped around hers and a goofy grin on his still-childish face. But even through the surprising grace, her entire body was illuminated with a halo of fear mixed with excitement. Any fear of her running away was dismissed as you watched her.

Her black suit was trimmed and fit perfectly on her body, hugging her curves like a glove and sending a small rush down your spine. Just because it wasn't the time didn't mean you wouldn't take a second to appreciate how gorgeous she was.

How had you ever gotten so lucky?

Your mind seemed to numb when she was finally right in front of you. It really did feel like just the two of you there at that moment, as if no one was watching the two of you as closely as they were. How was it possible that everything could melt away like that? All you could feel was a bundle of nerves in your stomach and the weight of Audrey's gaze.

For a moment everything was silent, the wedding officiate taking a moment to start the official wedding. In a moment you would be saying your vows and finally marrying the woman you loved more than anyone in the world.

But for a split second, you were just a stunning, but nervous, wreck of young adult, standing across from a girl and completely open to the future.

Audrey surprised you by taking both of your hands in hers and leaning in closely. It seemed like she was going in for a kiss, her lips parted, until she cracked a small smile. Her eyes were practically glowing and you swore that she had never looked happier. You worried about how you looked. Did you looked too nervous, too sweaty, too unsure?

"Hey, this wedding is pretty gay. Any chance you want to get out of here?" she whispered with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

You pursed your lips and did everything in your power not to laugh and break the silence in the barn. With close to hundreds of eyes on you, you weren't confident in your ability to recover from any embarrassment.

"Oh gosh, are they here for a gay wedding? What if they find out we're just here for the champagne?" you responded in a hushed voice. Audrey grinned and her hands gripped yours even tighter. She was stopping your hands from shaking and warming them at the same time, giving you something else to focus on. She knew you too well.

"I guess we'll have to be pretty convincing."

Before the wedding had even officially began, Audrey lips were against yours and the entire world was void of anything but the two of you. There was no one watching, no one waiting for declarations of love or perfect hallmark card material.

There was just the soft tug of her lips and a subtle taste of cherry candy and your favourite mint gum.

Reality came crashing back when she gently pulled away and you had never felt more ready for anything in your life. This was it. You were going to finally commit to someone for the rest of your life in front of everyone else the two of you loved and appreciated. It was thrilling and scary and beautiful all at once.

Your ears finally caught the joyful sound of clapping at the surprise kiss and before glancing at the crowd of friends and family, you leaned back into Audrey one more time.

"That kiss was pretty gay, think we might stay for a while?"

"Always," she whispered back.